#see people for who they really are and not love them so fucking blindly

[imflyinoveryou]

i wish i could go back in time and be there for myself like jesus christ, i just re-read the letter i sent to someone who literally didn't deserve anything from me and fuuuuck that poor kid needed someone real bad. i love you little me

[crownedwille]

I've come to the conclusion that loving young royals doesn't mean I can't be critical about it, maybe especially bc I love the show so much I have such strong feelings about it, good and bad and I can love parts of canon and agree with it and appreciate it but I don't have to love it all. I have accepted that it's okay if I don't accept the ending and I don't have to force myself to support it. It's okay to not agree with all of canon and it's okay to not side with all of the creators' intentions/views. Loving a show doesn't mean you have to take everything the writers say on face value and that's the only version that is allowed to exist. Canon isn't everything and fandom is about curating your own experience that makes you happy and not miserable. You don't have to dismiss canon in every aspect and ignore it entirely, that's certainly not what I want but there is a fine line between being canon respectful, allowing some parts to exist and sometimes, yes, you just have to say "fuck canon" and move on for your own sanity and wellbeing

[lenaellsi]

after my latest rewatch I am even more convinced that crowley really doesn't have the intense self-loathing issues he's commonly depicted with. like he has some regrets and bad memories and insecurities like everyone does, and he's under an insane amount of stress basically always, but he's very confident in who he is. he's not particularly happy about being a demon, but that isn't the same thing as hating himself for it. he hates hell, not himself.

like. he’s not upset about being called one of “the bad guys” because he agrees, he’s upset because he knows aziraphale is wrong, and because this is evidence that aziraphale still believes in a philosophy that has divided them since even before his fall. he has never once considered himself less than aziraphale or any other angel. I think it's clear that he's pretty offended by that implication, actually!

“crawly” as a name is too squirming-at-your-feet-ish for him because he knows who he is, and he sees value in that person. his depression and his worrying relationship with his own life and safety come from his feelings on god and predestination, not from self-loathing. crowley does not believe in the system. he doesn’t believe in the idea that people are purely good or evil, and he’s sure enough of himself to know that he's not either. that's why he's able to make the choices he does. he's able to act in the gray spaces between heaven and hell (see: job, the flood, the "virtues of poverty," armageddon, etc etc) because he is confident enough to make those decisions without worrying about what the powers that be say about what's "right" and "wrong."

that doesn’t mean that he’s not self-conscious. he’s very concerned with what humans think of him, what aziraphale thinks of him, and (out of self-preservation) what hell thinks of him. he hides his eyes and puts on a cool, flashy persona to hide the more vulnerable parts of himself. I think everyone does that, to a degree, but it's especially obvious in crowley because of how it manifests in his glasses. he's been burned (literally) before, and he knows better than to show weakness when he could be hurt like that again.

and re: the "I never meant to fall" thing--he's upset about being a demon, yeah, because the fall sounds like it sucked, and his job tortures him when he's Good or just Bad in the wrong way, and he's deeply lonely, and the love of his life has a complex about their relationship, and he's trapped in a system where he has to blindly follow one of two nearly-identical sets of bullshit morality rules or be executed. but again, he's mad at god, heaven, and hell for all of that. I'm sure he's angry at himself for all sorts of reasons often enough, because crowley is generally a pretty angry person, but he doesn't hate himself in any sort of existential "I am an unlovable monster" way.

maybe sometimes he regrets falling. maybe sometimes he thinks it would be easier if he never did. maybe sometimes he hates his fucking line manager and wishes he could do any other job for a while. but no part of crowley thinks that he is any worse of a person after the fall, or any less worthy of aziraphale's company. he just thinks aziraphale thinks that, because of the amount of times aziraphale has told him so.

[hazbinshusk]

blitzø x reader. blitzø is still feeling like shit after what happened at ozzie's, and moxxie isn't helping any. you step in on his behalf, much to your boss' surprise. fluff and angst. adult language (duh), references to sex. 1.3k

(first time writing blitzø/helluva boss, so please, all feedback will be appreciated).

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

You jump in your seat at Luna’s desk as the office door slams open, cursing under your breath as the movement caused you to spill coffee on the wood in front of you. The hellhound usually rolled into work whenever Blitzø did, and you often covered the phones until the two of them showed up. Still, after a few vague text messages from her this morning, you weren’t sure they were ever going to make it in.

So, you’re surprised to see Blitzø slouching into the office relatively early, Luna at his heel with her nose in her phone. The imp has dark sunglasses firmly in place on his face and a deep scowl marring his features. Between that and the extra-large coffee cup clutched in his hand, you decide against your usual morning greeting.

Moxxie, on the other hand, apparently has less reservations about kicking that particular hornet’s nest. “Good morning, sir. I need to talk to you about last night.”

“What?”

“As you may recall, I told you that our reservation last night was just for Millie and I, and—”

Blitzø’s scowl deepens. “Shut the fuck up, Mox.”

And with that, your boss stomps across the office and slams his own door behind him without so much as acknowledging the rest of you.

After a pregnant moment of silence, you vacate Loona’s seat and turn to the imps. “Okay, what the fuck did I miss last night?”

Millie frowns, her hand squeezing Moxxie’s shoulder. “Kind of… a lot.”

***

You raise a brow as the imp couple finally finish relaying everything you had missed at Ozzie’s the night before. Casting a glance towards Blitzø’s still firmly closed door, you nod slowly as you absorb the story. You take a sip of your now lukewarm coffee as Moxxie officially finishes his rant.

“So…” you say slowly, taking a seat on the sofa. “Did you thank him?”

“Did we what?”

“Thank him.” you repeat, holding up a hand when Moxxie opens his mouth to object. “Yeah, yeah, I know it’s messed up that he was there, but to hear you tell it, you didn’t even know he was there until he stood up for you. In front of Verosika Mayday and that Fizzarolli guy. Two people he clearly has issues with.”

Millie casts her husband a guilty look, Moxxie still staring at you with one finger raised and his mouth hanging open with a forgotten argument.

“She’s got a point,” Loona interjects dryly without looking up from her phone.

“So…” you continue with a sigh, leaning back against the couch cushions. “He put his dignity on the line in front of you guys and Stolas and every other chuckle-fuck in that place, and guys are mad at him?”

“We told him—”

“I know what you told him. But you know what he’s like.” you interrupt, waving a hand at Moxxie. “And I’m sorry, but you’re the asshole who decided to sing a love song in the middle of the King of Lust’s own club. As romantic as that is, Mox, it was really dumb. Like, trying to get Mammon to participate in a charity drive dumb.”

Millie pouts thoughtfully, folding her arms across her chest. “I guess we didn’t think of it like that.”

“I’m just sayin’…” you shrug a shoulder, finishing off the last of your coffee. “You should take it easy on Blitzø, is all. He… means well.”

***

Living in hell isn’t exactly a picnic, but waking up that night to a violent thumping on the front door is still, thankfully, rare. Groaning in annoyance as you’re dragged unwillingly from the comfort of your mattress, you roll over to grope blindly for the baseball bat you keep under the bed. The pounding continues as you clamber out of bed and make your way blearily to the door on the other side of your studio apartment.

“Alright, asshole, I’m coming. For fuck’s—” you break off as you unlock the door and jerk it open. “Blitzø?! What in the ever-loving fuck are you—”

“The fuck did you do it for?”

Your frown deepens, confused and still half asleep. Still, you set the bat down and step aside to wave him into the apartment before the neighbors get involved. You flinch as he slams the door behind him. “Do what?”

“Don’t give me that shit!” he spits back at you, swaying slightly where he stands. Great, you have a drunk, angry Blitzø on your hands. “Tell me why!”

“Dude, it’s currently…” you sigh irritably, casting a glance towards the clock glowing on your stove. “…almost four in the morning. If you want me to understand what the fuck you’re talking about, you’re gonna have to be specific.”

He clenches his teeth together, his fists balled tightly. He grinds out the words, like it physically pains him to say anything at all. “That shit you said to Mox about me.”

“Oh.”

“The fuck d’you mean, ‘oh’?”

You rub the sleep out of your eye with the heel of your hand. Instead of answering, you turn and make your way back to the bed, sitting on the edge of the mattress. “How’d you get here?”

“I— what?”

“Did Loona drop you off?”

Blitzø rolls his eyes, beyond irritated by the change of subject. “Christ on a stick, why does it matter? I fuckin’ drove myself, okay?”

“It matters because you are so not driving yourself home tonight.” you exhale, swinging your legs up onto the bed and pulling the covers up over your lap. “So, you comin’ to bed, or what?”

Blitzø jabs a finger at you belligerently. “You think you can just distract me by lettin’ me nail your sweet bitch-ass, is—”

“Fuckin’ Christ, Blitzø,” you shake your head, exasperated. “I said that shit because it’s true. You put your ass on the line to defend your friends in front of people from your past and Stolas! You did a nice thing because you’re a nice guy and I think you deserve credit for it! It’s not that deep!”

He stops as though you’d knocked the wind out of him, the anger smoothed from his features. Instead, he just looks… surprised. “…You think I’m nice?”

You sigh, patting the mattress beside you. “Just… let’s just sleep, alright? We’ll talk when you’re sober.”

He eyes you almost suspiciously for a long moment, fists still curled by his sides. You roll your eyes, making a show of laying back and making yourself comfortable. He groans dramatically, tossing his head back in an exaggerated eye roll before stomping over to join you. You close your eyes as he sheds his jacket and kicks off his boots, grumbling all the while. Still, you feel his bravado fail him as he reaches the bed, and he hesitates there at the edge of it until you lift the edge of the blankets for him.

Blitzø clambers up onto the mattress beside you, letting you fold the covers back over him. He shuffles closer to you awkwardly, and you feel his hand brush against your arm for a second before he pulls it away again. Reaching out, you catch it with yours, interlacing your fingers with his. You feel him stiffen for a moment before he squeezes it back.

“Can’t believe I finally got your hot little ass into bed and all we’re doin’ is holdin’ hands,” he mutters. He doesn’t, for once, actually sound like he’s complaining. “This is some M&M level bullshit.”

You hum in amusement, and even with your eyes closed, you can feel his face only inches from yours. “Trust me, Blitzø, when I do fuck your brains out, you’re gonna want to be sober enough to remember it in the morning.”

There’s a moment of silence, and then…

“When you WHAT?!”

[broosterradley]

3 Is Better Than 2 - Two for the Price of One | Hangster x Reader

Warnings: Rooster x Reader, Hangman x Reader, swearing, pda, established relationship, poly relationship

WC: 1k

All Content is mine, do not post to other sites.

Bradley was perched on the stool at the bar, his eyes locked on you, and by default, on Jake. 

It wasn’t rare for the three of you to go out together, the judgy looks you’d sometimes receive not at all affecting any of you. Especially not Jake. 

Jake was a bit late, so you and Bradley had to wait for him outside, and he was already starting to feel a little handsy as he held your body against his on the deck. This was nowhere near your first time at the Hard Deck together, so the faithful patrons weren’t caught off guard when you all walked in together. It was kind of packed tonight with various soldiers, sailors and aviators, and it made it a bit hard to get around easily, but you managed to push your way through the crowd to order drinks.

After drinking at the bar together for a while, Jake led you towards the jukebox, and he put on some random song before his hands were all over you, and yours were all over him. 

And Bradley, who wasn’t really one for excessive PDA, had to watch. It usually worked that way, since Jake was all for PDA, and that allowed you to be able to indulge in it as well, but it still was a sight for Bradley to see. 

He wasn’t jealous of Jake, no not at all. You were with Bradley first for nearly two years before Jake joined in, so he knew he had nothing to be worried about. He just wished he was over the slight hint of annoyance he felt every time he saw the blond flaunt you in public. 

Natasha, who was sitting next to Bradley, got bored of the one sided conversation she was trying to have with him, and she huffed before nudging her friend’s side. “Hey, if you can’t keep your eyes off them, why don’t you go over and join them?”

Bradley shook his head, his voice low and rough as he sipped from his beer. “She’s having fun with him,” 

Nat rolled her eyes. “She could be having fun with the both of you if you weren’t so standoffish in public,” she grunted, standing up from the stool as she made eye contact with Fanboy from across the room. “You’re boring me, so I’m going to go play pool. You can come with, or you could go dance with your girl. Or, you know, sit by yourself all night.”

Bradley opened his mouth to reply but she was already halfway across the bar, and he just scoffed and looked back at you. 

Your back was turned to Jake, his hands squeezing your hips as he pressed his front up against you, and Bradley felt his body heat up as he barely paid any attention to the man and just focused on you. Your eyes were closed, your head tilted back and resting on Jake’s shoulder, and Bradley wanted to devour you. The way your body moved, the curve of your mouth, the crease in your brows and the roll of your hips had his jeans tightening a bit, and he quickly finished his beer and blindly set it down on the bar behind him. 

To people who didn’t know you, it looked like you were with Jake. And that was fine with Bradley, but he wanted them to know that you were also with him.

For once, he was going to listen to his friend’s advice. 

Bradley stood up and made his way across the bar, his eyes only on you. He could feel Jake’s gaze as he got closer and closer, but he didn’t even acknowledge him before he reached out. His hands settled on your hips above Jake’s, and you barely had your eyes open in surprise before he was leaning in and pressing his lips to yours. 

The way you instantly started to kiss him back made him moan against your mouth, and your hands left Jake’s as you reached up to tangle your hands in his hair. “Bradley,” you gasped against his lips, pulling away from him with wide eyes. “Are you okay?” You asked quietly, sensing the tension in his body as you gazed up at him. 

God, he fucking loved you. He knew you were asking that because he usually keeps to himself in public and lets Jake take the lead with you, and he wanted to throw you over his shoulder and carry you out of here because you were so sweet. “‘Course I’m okay,” he murmured, tightening his hold on you as Jake lifted his hand and pulled your hair off your shoulder, exposing your neck to Bradley’s dark eyes. “I’m with you.”

Jake smirked as he leaned down to kiss along your neck, knowing how protective and sometimes possessive Bradley is over you. He was getting better about it, knowing that you loved both of them equally, but he was still tense sometimes when he had to watch you with the other man. That just naturally came with having you all to himself before Jake got involved. 

“Okay,” you murmur, biting down on your lip as you tilt your head to the side to let Jake’s lips trail all over your skin. “Do you want to go somewhere?” You quietly offer, aware of his usual discomfort for PDA. 

Bradley shook his head. “No,” he muttered, meeting Jake’s eyes briefly when he pulled back from your neck. “I’m good right here.” 

He leaned in and kissed you again after that, his hands sliding up your sides as you deepened the kiss. Jake’s smirk grew as he watched the two of you, his own hands massaging your shoulders. 

You part your lips with a quiet moan as you pull Bradley closer while also pressing yourself against Jake. His tongue tangles with yours, a heated makeout quickly escalating as Jake leans down to kiss along your neck.

Another moan leaves your lips as you move your body gently between the two men, and Bradley was sure you could feel his cock straining through his jeans. He wanted you so badly, he would never get enough. 

Bradley pulled away, both yours and his lips wet and puffy. “Maybe we should go somewhere,” he grunted and you looked up at him with wide, excited eyes before glancing back up at Jake. 

“What do you say, Bradshaw?” Jake smirked as he trailed his hands down the front of your body, emitting a low growl from Bradley. “My truck or yours?”

[itsmarsss]

Scandalous (Blitzø x Fem!Succubus!Reader x Stolas) [Helluva Boss] pt. 3 - The Imp

How the mighty do fall. (Getting into a weird three-way situation with an imp and a succubus isn't exactly considered classy, Stolas)

He's not just a bitch! He's a bitch with a backstory.

pt. 1 | pt. 2 | pt. 4 | pt. 5 | 1st bonus | pt. 6 | pt. 7 | pt. 8 | pt. 9

Word Count: 3,140

Warnings: a lot of trauma related stuff, a lot of self-deprecating thoughts, some things are canon-compliant and some are my own, i think that's it, also hey look it's the reason blitzø wanted to sneak into ozzie's so bad!

Blitzø has been called many different things throughout his life. 

Most of those things have been insults but, hey, who’s keeping track? 

From an entitled prick to a selfish asshole to shit-for-brains to imp scum to… well, you get the gist of it. You name it, he’s been called it. And he was perfectly fine with being all of those things.

He’d decided very early on that he would own any titles he was given if it meant he had any sort of control over how they affected him. 

And it worked. If he was going to be called useless, or selfish, or a low-level regardless of what he did, he was just going to let himself become all of those things. If no one expects anything good to come from him anyway, why should he even care to try? This wouldn’t help stop them saying all those awful things he hated to hear about himself, but at the very least he’d be at peace knowing he wasn’t spending his entire life humiliating himself for the off-chance that someone would see him the way he wanted them to.

That way, he’d always have the upper hand.

Growing up in the circus, Blitzø learned at a very young age that he was no more than a collateral to his father. ‘Useless’ at being sufficiently entertaining, as he always heard he was, Blitzø understood entirely too well that he was only kept around for the simplest of all things he was: unpaid labor and an obligation.

At times, in his teenage years, he’d start to wonder if he would ever have been kept around at all if it weren’t for his mother.  

And sometimes, well into adulthood already, Blitzø would find himself hurting people. Really hurting people. Sometimes even on purpose, without ever fully understanding why he did what he did. Most of the time he would try and ignore it, or pretend not to care, try to convince himself it was for the best that he kept his distance from people. 

But, at certain times, thoughts of his mother would consume him. Would she be proud of who he had become? 

He hardly thought so. 

There were times when he would even find himself wondering who he could have grown up to be had she stayed around for longer. Would he be nice? Kind? Caring?

Would he be loved?

But she wasn’t around, and that was his fault, he kept reminding himself. And that wasn’t fucking fair. 

His mother was always kinder than his father ever was. She was sweet and caring and always made sure to check on him. The moments they spent together were always his favorite as a kid. 

When she was with him, it almost felt like nothing else mattered, as if her presence could shield him from anything- he always blindly believed her when she told him time and time again that everything would be okay. It was a nice feeling. 

She was always full of life, always the soul of every room she entered, always cheering Blitzø back up when he was down. She was always pure light.

Except when his father was around. 

Blitzø loathed the way her demeanor changed around him, how she minimized herself to be next to him. When he was young, he’d always toyed in his mind with the idea of her being two different people who shared the same body: there was his mother, and there was his father’s wife. 

His mother was kind, compassionate, caring, free. His father’s wife was cold, quiet, dull.  

Fizzarolli entered his life really early on. 

At merely seven years old, he was taken into the circus after losing his parents in a freak accident, and Blitzø remembers the day they met clear as day.

Fizz was small. At the young age of eight years old, Blitzø vividly remembers his mind conjuring the term ‘fragile’ to describe him. 

Scared and vulnerable, Fizzarolli was an emotional creature, only a kid, after all. And that demanded care. At first, Blitzø really didn’t enjoy having to share his mother as a caregiver in the slightest. He was also only a kid, after all.

As time passed, though, he grew to quite like Fizz’s presence. He’d never really been much too surrounded by other kids, as it’d always been only him and his parents, and now he had a best friend! Someone to talk to and play with all the time, and who was as eager for a friend as he was himself. 

A couple years later, at ten years old, Blitzø received news from his parents: he was going to be a big brother. His father didn’t seem to express too many feelings about that- he never really expressed much other than disdain when it came to him, for the matter, but his mom seemed excited. 

Blitzø wasn’t exactly sure how to feel about it. Sure, he got used to sharing his life with Fizz, but that was enough, wasn’t it? Things were good as they were, why mess it up with another kid?

When Barbie was born, Blitzø made it his personal goal to express just how much he disliked the idea of having a sibling- but that only lasted a few weeks. A few weeks of being rude and purposefully stubborn were enough for him to notice how hurt his mother was that he was acting that way, especially when she was already clearly overwhelmed with taking care of the baby along with himself and Fizzarolli. 

Being the reason for his mother’s tears was the thing he hated the most in the whole wide world.

And so he stopped. It took him many months for his feelings about his sister to really change, but he decided he wouldn’t be so mean about it anymore, for his mom’s sake. And, with time, he grew used to his sister too. Sure, she was annoying and extremely clingy, as all babies and younger siblings are, and yes, he’d still act annoyed at her, but he started to not mind it as much.

He started to care.

At ten years old, too, on a random day, something rather unusual happened: his father came looking for him after a show, prompting him to stand up from the floor where he’d been playing with Fizz and their balloon horses, because he’d been… sold?

Yeah, that’s right. His dad told him, normal as ever, that apparently one of the Goetia princes had seen their part of the show earlier, and his father wanted to, quite literally, purchase Blitzø for the rest of the day. 

“Ew. Why?”

“Because money!” That always seemed to answer plenty when it came to Good Old Cash.

He was dragged to the Goetia palace with a purpose: to steal everything he could. That didn’t feel right nor did it feel safe. After all, who knew what sort of bad things could happen to him if he got caught stealing from royalty? He was young, but he knew they weren’t demons you wanted to mess with. 

He was scared. 

But they needed the money, and his dad had pulled the card that could get him to do basically anything he was asked to: ‘don’t you want to help your mother?’

Of course he’d do anything to help mama. 

Getting back home, he felt bad. Because the prince had been kind to him the entire time. Because the prince was naive, clearly not even having considered the possibility of Blitzø having been there to do what he did. Because everything his dad had told him about the big bad royals seemed to fall flat with Stolas. 

Getting back home, he still struggled to understand why he had been the one chosen to go, and not Fizz, when Fizz was clearly a better… well, everything… than he was. 

It was all too confusing, growing up with Fizz. As much as he loved him, there would always be a part of him that felt jealous, insecure around him. Because, to him, it seemed his best friend was everything he wanted to be and everything he wanted to be seen as. A better entertainer, a better friend, a better kid to his parents. Everything Blitzø could never live up to.

But, as he grew older, he came more and more to the realization that it wasn’t Fizz’s fault. It was all his parents. Or, rather, it was mostly his father. He was the one who put the two against each other, when, time and time again, they showed they only wished to work together, to be kids, to be friends… or more, maybe?

On the day of Fizarolli’s 17th birthday, Blitzø had been set on confessing the feelings he’d come to nurture towards the boy. Never used to this sort of thing, the only person he’d told about it was his mom, who had smiled oh-so-sweetly at him and hugged him as he let out tears, assuring him that it was okay for him to feel that way, even if it was scary. He’d prepared a badly rehearsed but well-meaning speech, written something for him in a birthday card, and even gone as far as stealing a rose from someone’s backyard to give him too.

Fizzarolli would have never even dreamed he’d have ever done all that for him, because he didn’t give him the card, and he didn’t give him the rose, and he didn’t tell him how he felt. Because there Fizz stood, laughing with his friends- friends! Friends who looked better and acted cooler and who were so, so much more interesting than Blitzø could ever be. He wasn’t a kid anymore, but he was still young. He still let his jealousy get the best of him, still let the frustration of feeling pathetic for even considering the chance that his best friend could feel the same way he did consume him.

But, as angry, as frustrated, as sad as he was, he never meant for it all to happen.

The fire changed everything.

His mother was gone because of him. His best friend almost died because of him. Barbie only went unharmed in sheer, dumb luck. Everyone’s lives were ruined, and it was all his fault. 

And so he decided he’d be better off far away. Not forever. Not for long. But, for now, everyone was sure to be better off without him near. He’d caused enough destruction already and he’d forever have the scars to remind him.

So he left. Simple as day, he told a crying, barely eight-year-old Barbie he’d be back soon and left a note for his father to find and give Fizz when he recovered. 

Not forever. Not for long. 

The next time he saw his sister again was nine years later. And he tried. He so desperately tried to be present again. But Barbie didn’t seem to think it was fair of him to go no-contact for so many years. Yes, their father sucked- but leaving meant he left her to grow up alone with him. She lost a mother too. He wished things were different, but couldn’t blame her.

Two years later, at nineteen years old, was the first time Barbie had to be checked into rehab. Blitzø went there to visit every week, of course, but she never let him in. 

Just like Fizz, no matter how many times he tried, she simply didn’t want to see him.

After the fire happened, Blitzø decided he wouldn’t work as a clown ever again, cutting short his own big, flashy dreams.

 But that was the only thing he ever learned to do, and that made things difficult. For years on end, he had to jump from one job to another, trying to find anything he could to make a living for himself. 

He was never all that eager to admit to this part of his past, but there were times during which he’d slept on the streets or forced himself onto one one-night stand after the other just to have a place to crash. At some point, he found himself gambling the little money he got from working here and there. 

That’s how he met Verosika Mayday, anyway. At a cheap, dark, dirty club in Lust, as he tried to drink his sorrows away and let his luck decide whether he’d be able to pay for his stay at some gross little inn room down in Greed for the night or not, and she tried to kickstart her singing career, standing on the poor-lit makeshift stage with her electric-pink electric guitar and singing something barely anyone was paying any attention to.

A few years later came Loona. And Loona was love at first sight. At first, he wasn’t looking for a hellhound like her to adopt. He wanted a pet. 

But she looked so scared and angry, and so, so much like himself. She was about to be thrown out of the system into the streets to fend for herself at only eighteen. He knew what that was like entirely all too well, and he knew it wasn’t pretty. He wasn’t exactly the most sensitive person ever, but if only he could be something like a family to her, if only he could help her in any way so she didn't have to be all alone…

He adopted her immediately. 

It was a crazy idea, for many, very obvious reasons. First off, he’d just started making enough to make rent for a one-bedroom apartment in a shitty side of imp city. Second off, even though he was doing slightly better, he still barely made enough to feed himself alone. Third off, he had no fucking clue how to be a parent. Much less how to parent a teenager. 

But he made it work. He promised himself he’d make it work. He worked everywhere he could find, doing anything he possibly could (and, in hell, that meant anything), at any crazy hour, to make enough to support Loona. He bought books about parenting that he couldn't really read much of because most of them were targeted to soon-to-be parents of… well, babies, and included nonsense, fancy-pants words he didn’t have the patience to try and understand, but he tried his best to be a good parent to her. 

He never forced her to call him dad or anything of the sort, because he could understand how that was probably hard. He still couldn’t stop himself from shedding a few emotional tears when she did, even if most times were slip-ups. 

About a year or so later, he was set on a goal: he wanted to make a living for himself. Really make a living. Blitzø was tired of putting himself through every single job he could find just to barely make enough for him and Loona.

Well, it’s not exactly like he’d be the winner in a competition for the best morals in hell.

He started stealing. What? This was hell! 

The lifestyle went surprisingly well for him. He wasn’t making bank, but it beat working like 24 hours a day to barely survive. As time went on, though, he started getting more and more confident. Stealing more, from wealthier, more influential people, pushing himself to do better each time things went well for him, having fun with letting things get more violent and subsequently bringing attention to himself. 

He was bound to steal too close to the sun someday. After a particularly… well, greedy robbery down by the Greed ring, things went south quickly, resulting in his arrest. 

Jail sucked, but honestly, he’d had worse. And, hey, his cellmate was sufficiently cool. 

Moxxie wouldn’t tell him much about his past or how he ended up there, but that wasn’t to worry when he didn’t particularly want to do the same either. What mattered was he had a plan to escape and a plan for after that and Moxxie could be of assistance. 

Escaping wasn’t easy, and the two of them didn’t leave exactly unharmed, but it was successful. 

The grand plan for after that was to start a company that specified in hired assassinations. Moxxie wasn’t perfectly happy with the idea, but damn was he good with a gun. 

But two not-even-that-much-experienced assassins didn’t really make a company, did they?

After a lot of convincing, even though they didn’t even keep in contact quite as much as they used to anymore, he somehow got y/n, a succubus he’d become friends with about a year before, to agree to work with them. 

Okay, three’s a crowd. 

Millie joined in not long after. 

Four’s a party. Or, well, an assassination company.

They worked phenomenally well all together as a team- even Loona was brought into the business, though Blitzø never really let her participate in the killing. Business went okay… until it didn’t. Things didn’t work as well in reality as they did in their minds- not for very long, at least. 

And so Blitzø had to bring back into light the same dumb, far-fetched idea he’d had a year earlier.

“What if we could kill humans?” He blurted out during a meeting in which the point of discussion was how to increase business.

You made a face at him. “What the fuck are you talking about?” 

“I mean it. Like, imagine how many of these sinners are walking around here just double-dying to have someone that they hate up there dead too. We’d have clients like forever!”

“If that were possible, Blitzø.,” Millie chimed in.

“It is possible.”

“Boss, no offense, but did you hit your head again?” Moxxie questioned, understandably confused.

“Y/n knows what I'm talking about!”

“What? No I don't.”

“Yeah you do. Your best friend Ozzie-boy has something that could let us do that.”

“Are you- wait.” There’s no fucking way. “When we met- were you- were you trying to steal an asmodean crystal?”

“I was not not trying to steal an asmodean crystal.”

“Uh, what is an asmodean crystal?” Loona asked, and you were surprised she’d even been paying attention.

You sighed. “Asmodeus has these enchanted crystals that can be used to create portals to the living world. We- uh- we get to use them at times. When necessary.”

“See? It’s perfect! He’d totally give you one.”

“Not for this. I think you forgot Fizzarolli hates your guts. Ozzie’s not gonna give me a crystal so I can help you with something. Really what the fuck did you even do to this guy?”

Blitzø ignored your last question completely. “He let you work with me,” he commented, matter-of-factly.

“He’s not my owner, asshole. But no. It’s not happening.”

Well, he'd really hoped it wouldn't have to come to this, but… he did know someone else who had a little something that could grant access to the living world.

A/N: I bet with so much complaining yall werent expecting this to actually come out huh expect the unexpected

[strabara]

•.SHIGARAKI’S SEXTAPE.•

SUMMARY: Y/N is batshit crazy for Shigaraki that she finds him and confesses her undying love for him. And he promises to return her love only if she completes a small favor. Y/N of course blindly obliges.

Notes: I had posted this on AO3 AGESS AGOOO. But! I decided it deserved a remake. Also bc I’m making a second part soo yea :3 AGAIN as I’ve said before English isn’t my first language and it wasn’t very good 2 years ago.. so watch out for grammatical issues and terrible writing skills..

WARNINGS: NONCON, CREAMPIE, SHAMELESS SMUT, ROUGH SEX, BREEDING, CREAMPIE, FORCED PREGNANCY, NOT BETA READ, PLOT WHAT PLOT/ PORN WITHOUT PLOT, SEXTAPE, PITY SEX, HUMILIATION, OVERSTIMULATION, LOSS OF VIRGINITY

Y'know to the pro heroes the video that Shigaraki filmed of you looked fucked up. It was even more fucked up that it was being broadcasted live for everyone to see. People didn’t need to know who you were to know that you were 'Kidnapped'. After all they think you’re his hostage and you’re doing all of this against your will. But oh how they were so wrong. Right now you were seen as a barely clothed chained girl who was being forced to suck dick.

But to you this was all apart of your sick fantasy that you dreamed of! Sure it’s weird somebody even liked Shigaraki but no.. you loved him. You loved him so much that you'd do anything for him, LITERALLY. I mean here you were shamelessly rubbing circles to your clit as your face was getting fucked by Shigaraki! All they could hear was muffled moans and groans. A truly terrifying sight for anyone.

"Agh.. Look at you taking me so well.. I'll reward you with my disgusting cum you little slut."

You gurgled and sped up your pace to your clit. You moaned as you reached your peak and on cue he released his thick salty ropes into your mouth. You whine as they traveled down your throat. Panting as you hold your heavy eyes, tired from the Costant stimulation to your clit. God how this turned you on. He takes himself out of your mouth as he quickly grabs you by the neck, shoving your face into the camera.

"Open your mouth and show them how you swallowed a villians cum you Whore."

You slowly opened your mouth showing your tongue and bruised throat. You wanted to smile but couldn't since that would show you really weren't doing this against your will. Shigaraki started to laugh as he threw you to the floor making you whimper. He then grabbed you by the hair, pulling you towards him. He spreads your legs as he got inbetween them, his hard member falling onto your cunt making you flinch slightly. Almost instantly he disintegrating your panties before he put your thighs to your chest.

You were now basically naked, well except for the ripped up thigh high socks you had on. Your uniform was all ripped up and discarded to the side somewhere.

"How does it feel knowing your virginity will be stripped away from you by a villian? Not only that but I'll make you bear my children! You hear that? Your small cunts gonna be forced to swallow my villian seed!"

He smirks at you before he ran his tip along your slit, making you shudder. This made the heroes hearts drop. But only added love to yours. You couldnt believe this was actually happening!! The man you’d been in love with for who knows how long was about to take your virginity! Oh how luck was on your side.

"No p-please! I beg you! You can let me go I wont tell them anything I-I promise!"

You yelp as he slaps your pussy, grabbing and pulling at your clit. A hand went to your head before he grabbed a handful of your hair. His lips came to your ear all the while he had a smirk on his lips.

"Hmm i thought about it and how about.. No?"

And just like that he snapped his hips forward, pushing his large shaft into you with a single thrust. You choked as he stretched you out. You really were willing to do anything but the pain really did hurt. You screamed loudly all the while you threw your head back throwing weak punches to his chest. Shigaraki was quick to put a hand at your throat to shut you up.

"Hah.. Shit your sucking me in so good it’s like you want me to breed you! How dirty for a cute naive quirkless girl."

The camera catches the small streams of arousal mixed with blood trickle down your hole as it reached the floor. This was the final straw for the heroes.

"what the hell are we doing! This girl is getting Assualted and we're just going to let it happen?!"

The Lust hero, Midnight exclaimed.

"Look Midnight we can't do anything! We dont know where they are! And people wont let us search without creating a jam. I get it I want to help too but there’s nothing we can do.!"

 

 

You continued to moan and yelp as he reached into the deepest parts of you not caring about the people who were listening or watching. After a while the pain had subsided and turned into pleasure.

"P-please s' too much!~"

You moan loudly while his tip assualted your cervix every thrust he gave.

"Aw maybe i'll be nice if you’re a good girl and tell me you’re my cocksleeve."

You squeak as he gripped your hips tighter, almost as if he was promising he would leave bruises.

"N-no i don't want to be anything to you just let me gah!~"

You stop as he bites your body leaving love marks everywhere as he showed you’re HIS property. Shaking your head he licks up your neck until reaching your parted lips. Being quick to thrust his tongue in. Your mouth leaking with saliva while he dominated your mouth. He stops before he licking his lips, watching you gasp for air as your mouth quivered.

"Cmon say it, you’re my cocksleeve and you’re a slut that loves villian cock. Theres no way anyone else will want you. After all you’re being used up by a big bad villian!"

This Sickening Fantasy of yours was a dream come true!

"I-I’m your cocksleeve!~ and a slut who loves villian C-cock!~"

This was probably humiliating for others but it turned you on so much more. You shamelessly wrapped your arms around his neck while wheezing.

"Hey wait a minute.. You just got tighter! Ha that turned you on huh? How dirty of you."

You just continued to cry and whimper as you turned you head away, but that shortly changed when he started to hit your G spot. You yelp loudly before your arms left his neck, putting them on his abdomen to push him away.

"Whats wrong huh? Need to cum?"

You squeal as he rubbed your sensitive clit, making your toes curl and eyes roll back.

"A-ah no! I dont wanna cum!"

Your orgasm was approaching fast as he continued to hit your G spot all the while he teased your clit.

"Ha! What a treat! Cmon cum on this villian cock! I wanna hear how someone disgusting like me makes a good little civilian feel."

His hips rocked back and forth as your body bounced. He took this time to suck your nipples, bringing you over the edge you were so eagerly trying to get to.

"A-agh I’m cumming!~"

Unexpectedly you squirted all over him coating his cock and balls with your juices. He lets out a creepy laugh before gripping your jaw to look at him.

"Wow you’re disgusting! You said you didnt like me ya big perv! Well here’s my treat for you so make sure to swallow every bit of it! You'll look so pretty pregnant! Agh you'll be forced to be burdened with MY kids it’s just amazing!"

The overstimulation was bringing tears to your eyes as you shook your head no.

"No please pull out I dont wanna get pregnant!~"

His hips slammed into you fast at an animalistic speed as you continued to bounce. Your moans cracking from all the screaming, cheeks wet with tears and saliva. He roughly kisses you to shut you up as you felt a second release coming. Finally he slammed into you one last time releasing his sperm into your cervix. You moan into the sloppy kiss as your second orgasm ripped through you, making you to squirt again.


"Wow i must have really made you feel good, Not only that you squirted again, truly amazing guess quirkless people can make up for it huh."

You heavily breathed while letting out small whimpers. He started to cackle as he put the camera to your ahegao like face, along with pulling out of you to watch his cum ooze out slowly.

"Oops let’s just push that back in yeah?"

You whine as his finger pushes into

your sensitive cunt, plugging his cum inside. The pro heroes felt guilt in their hearts, they failed to protect a civilian. You on the other hand were fucked dumb. All you could think about was how good he made you feel, how full you felt. You let out a shaky breath as you pull your pussy apart. Allowing your hole to glisten from the camera's light.

"I-I’m yours only, P-please Mr. Shigaraki… use me to your h-hearts content."

You manage to slip out with tired heart eyes and a subtle grin. His smile just widens before he thrusted back inside you, making you moan softly.

"Of course how could I refuse such an offer?"

 

 

Multiple citizens were left traumatized, but this didnt stop many from being determined to find you. Although there were some people who were really weird about it. I mean somebody broke into the news station and stole the video!! They literally uploaded everywhere. Top trending video for awhile weirdly. Lots of people watched it they called it 'Shigaraki's sextape' it was super long, nearly 7 hours.

The search continued and continued which bugged the shit out of you! After all you were the one stalking Shigaraki and you were the one who told him about your crazy obsession, how you were in love with him, how you'd do anything he asked of you!.. Even if it would ruin your image. Couple of months had went by and you were now 5 months pregnant with triplets! Oh how happy you were. You found out that you were having 2 boys and a girl.

"Oh! Y/N look what I got you! Its perfect for your triplets so you can try to put them to sleep at the same time!"

You open the gift to find a small box it had a voice box so you were assuming it was to record your voice. With a smile you turned to the radio hero.

"Thank you Mr. Mic I appreciate this gift!"

Yea... about that, part of Shigaraki's plan was for you to get found so if he and his future league ever did need shelter they could stay in your apartment. But, you didnt get an apartment. Instead you got a huge ass house gifted to you from the pro heroes! After all they were filled with guilt that they couldnt save you from the so called 'Trauma' you experienced, or the fact you’re forced to have kids you 'don’t' want. And lets not even talk about how they found you and the state you were in, it was... something.

"Alright who's gift is this? There's no name."

"Dont know probably a gift sent from a random person."

Alot of the random gifts people sent were… questionable to say the least. Its also a bit unsettling that some people would comment on your instagram with the link to the video saying they 'wished it was them he did it to'. You won’t lie now you always click the link so you could watch him and in the end you always masturbate to it. You sigh, slowly ripping the wrapping paper to find a small box that looked shabby and old filled with bibs, onesies and a small envelope. You s slowly open the envelope to find a scratchy like note that read 'I love you, so you better make sure that my kids are well taken care of or else you'll regret it.' Wait.. Shigaraki spent his valuable time to send you gifts AND he told you he loved you!?

The Tomura Shigaraki wasted his precious breath on someone weird like you?! Kicking your feet you squeal and hold the note to your chest. You blush as you look up to the pro heroes surrounding you.

"What is it Y/n? A love letter? "

The pro heroes start to laugh as you giggle.

"No.. Its just... "

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Shigaraki truly does love me!.."

Notes: OKAYY so I did change some pieces here and there uhh sorry if there’s still mistakes I’m fucking blind. Hope you enjoyed! I’m currently working on part 2 now!

[no-psi-nan]

One thing I never see people talk about is that canonically, Terusai is super one-sided...

From SAIKI'S side.

Over the course of the series, Saiki's respect for Teruhashi grows with every interaction. He bends over backwards to prevent her feelings from being hurt, he puts less and less effort into avoiding her, he looks after her safety and happiness, he risks his reputation by publicly rescuing her, he's fascinated by her beauty the one time he gets to admire her, she galvanizes him into action when he's in shock about the meteor and the "return" of his powers.

On the other hand, Teruhashi starts caring about the fake fanboy version of him she invented, and over time, grows comfortable with the fake silent glum mask he projects. She doesn't find him physically attractive and she struggles to compliment him to his grandfather. She likes how safe he makes her feel, and finds his presence comforting, but at no time does she know his actual personality, nor does she really make any real attempt to get to know him better, instead focusing on ways to impress him and make him "offu". She knows that her fanclub could put him in danger (hence tossing her chocolates out the window) but still calls on them to force him to hang out with her on multiple occasions.

In order for them to have a real relationship, Teruhashi would have to learn Saiki's actual personality and decide whether she likes it as much as the fake versions she fell in love with.

But for that to happen, Saiki would have to reveal his powers (prerequisite for showing his real personality), which would immediately force Teruhashi to face three MAJOR crises:

The INCREDIBLE mortification of blindly chasing after someone who could hear every one of her mean/rude/bizarre/thirsty thoughts and who was trying to let her down gently the whole time for SIX FUCKING YEARS, all while she made SO much trouble for him

The subsequent reckoning about what it means to be a "perfect pretty girl" after finding out someone was watching her struggle and fail at it, plus the possibility that people only like her because her beauty is a magical power like Saiki's ESP, and NOT because any inherent goodness or effort on her own behalf

The fact that her fans almost killed both Saiki and Nendo when he was "powerless", and the realization that the Kokomins (whether part of the club or not) have almost certainly hurt many people on her behalf, and that she herself has mobilized them against Saiki before. Also the fact that they actually control her almost as much as she controls them, because she has to work so hard to meet and exceed their expectations

While Saiki already knows and likes her for who she is, Teruhashi (who regularly goes to mental and physical extremes to maintain her persona) is going to have to grapple with her own sense of self before she can even really find out what Saiki's actually like, much less have a healthy relationship with him.

And meanwhile Saiki knows that dating Teruhashi would be a major risk for him, as much as he might like to, because she attracts so much attention that it would constantly risk his identity.

There's so much baggage they have to work through in canon in order to finally be on the same page, and so much to explore psychologically, especially when you remember that Teruhashi is also apparently only 5 minutes away from starting a cult based on like every canon AU hsfjdlshfks.

She's under a huge amount of stress! Has been for a long time! And then if the guy she thought she knew turned out to be a god, sometimes even The God she prays to, what's that going to do to her psyche??

Anyways this post got away from me but there's so much fertile ground for really interesting analysis and character development! But I've never seen anyone tackle any of this so I figured I'd type it up in case people didn't realize just HOW bonkers it all is lol!

[homicidal-sheep]

I will defend Eurylochus to my dying breath because what the fuck yall, he is not the malicious monster people are making him out to be?? Like these characters are so morally grey its not even funny.

I love Ody with all my heart but the man did fuck up. He is human, and a plaything of the Gods, which is a very dangerous position to be in at the best of times.

I've seen people saying Eury has no moral high ground on the Scylla thing because he wanted to leave all the men at Circe's. Now firstly, I highly doubt a simple scouting mission would include all the men (see Cyclops saga, when only a fraction went). So they would be running to save what men remained, not ditching the entire army. Secondly, what exactly did you want them to do when facing Circe? They didn't know Hermes was there. All they knew was there was a magic lady who could turn people into pigs. So what, were they gonna ask really really nicely? Somehow I highly doubt that would work. Without the Gods intervention, I just don't see them winning. Eury was cutting their losses because from his POV, there was quite literally nothing they could do for the men. Best case scenario they snuck the men/pigs out and, idk, kept them as pets??

As for the wind bag, yeah it was a really dumb decision. But Ody is the one who decided not to trust his men, especially Eury. Ody has already given up on the crew, and they likely feel that distrust. Why should they put their blind faith in a man who refuses to clue them in? Why should they believe that he has whats best for them in their hearts? Ody's own guilt caused him to embrace an ideology that got a bunch of them killed. (remember when he said the only one who's lines he hasn't crossed were his own?) And we can see some of this growing resentment in Perimedes cut song. We as viewers have context the men simply do not.

Sidenote, people say Eury would have gotten them lotus'd. Yeah maybe. or maybe Ody would have recognized the fruit before they ate it, like he did with Polites. We cannot know.

The other point I keep seeing, that I find absolutely baffling is "well they deserved to die for mutinying, they should have listened to their king and captain" I'm sorry when did we all become monarchists. Kings and captains can absolutely make bad decisions? We should not blindly trust authority?? Yeah Eury kept questioning the captain. He was second in command and the voice of the crew, not only is he voicing their discontent, I'd argue that a good king should have someone who is willing to disagree with them. While Ody is right, that in the middle of a dire situation isn't great, and it would have been better to address those issues in private, they are very legitimate worries. If your captain has admitted he would burn the world to see his son and wife, I think being a little worried is absolutely fair.

The Gods keep appearing and helping Ody but they are also incredibly dangerous beings who constantly play with the lives of mortals.

On to the cow thing. Ya it was fucking dumb. But I can understand why. The man is fucking tired. They don't see a way out and at that point, starving to death slowly, so desperately afraid, probably sounded like a terrifying fate. Better to get it over with.

And he still cares! Ody is his literal brother in law. They bandaged his wounds when they could have idk, sacrificed him to Posideon or something. What Ody did to them was 100% betrayal and I understand why they mutinied, with what information they had. For petes sake he kept singing "I need to get home", I, not we.

Again, I love Ody, but good lord, the man is the definition of an unreliable narrator. Let them all be complicated, tragic characters without labeling them as cookie cutter good guys and bad guys.

[anonzentimes]

*guy who loves talking about despair disease voice* wait can we talk more about despair disease. i have so many thoughts on despair disease and esp how it pertains to nagito

i feel like when a lot of people first play/watch the games they see nagito as someone who lies to manipulate people, which while i can’t super blame them for thinking that way bc of how hajime tries to reconcile his conflicting feelings over nagito, i get SO frustrated when ppl call nagito a liar bc no!!! no he’s not!!! you’re falling for other characters’ perceptions of him!!! nagito almost never lies and when he does he’s either really bad at it (cough cough final FTE. “i got it all from a book” you are not slick buddy) or comes clean as soon as he’s achieved his desired outcome- it’s more bluffing than actual deception, and one thing he’s especially sincere in is his beliefs and admiration for the people around him. and the despair disease PROVES this without a doubt!!

ok. i know in-text the despair disease is described as “reversing people’s personalities,” but i’ve always interpreted it a little differently. ibuki isn’t the opposite of gullible, akane isn’t the opposite of a coward, and nagito isn’t the opposite of a liar. to me, it’s always seemed like the despair disease gives its host the trait they’d most hate to have— whatever trait would instill in them the deepest despair. ibuki hates conformity- stick her with a disease that makes her blindly follow whatever she’s told. akane hates showing weakness- force her into a state of constant crying. nagito hates the idea of deceiving his classmates- make him incapable of being sincere. this interpretation makes mikan’s disease make a little more sense too imo, since remembering her brainwashing isn’t exactly reversing her personality but instead literally filling her to the brim with despair. ANYWAYS.

nagito Actively Despises not being able to tell the truth. he hates the despair disease, he sees it as a complete waste. in the ult. luck and hope and despair mangas, we actually get to see some of his internal monologue right before he passes out, and he is In Hell. he’s pissed that he can’t serve as a proper stepping stone in his state, he thinks the whole disease is stupid, and he gets so frustrated about not being able to properly encourage the group that he Literally Starts Foaming At The Mouth ????? like if you EVER wanted undeniable proof that nagito is sincere look at the despair disease. it’s basically a roundabout truth serum for him and that’s a huge part of why it’s one of my favorite motives

sidenote i feel like the despair disease has a shit ton of analysis potential in general just bc of how it turns characters into what they hate the most!! i loveeee brainstorming what symptoms certain characters would have gotten were they to get infected. hajime especially. maybe he’d get a fawning disease where he starts praising everyone nagito-style (this would highlight their bystander parallels and also make hajime feel MISERABLE bc he fucking hates when nagito points out how similar they are lmao). or maybe he’d get an apathy disease that’d essentially izuru-fy him (wonderful foreshadowing potential there, not to imagine the incredible angst of izuru being the thing hajime would hate to be most in the world.) alas i am not a fanfic author so i will sit with my concepts but it is a wonderful daydream with any dangan characters i’d highly recommend it :]

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSS!!!!! I SCREAM IN UNISON WITH YOU I LOOOVEEE THE DESAIR DISEASE!!!!! MAN… I’M SO OBSESSED WITH HOW YOU INTERPRET AND ARTICULATED THE DESPAIR DISEASE💗💗💗 The Despair Disease is genuinely so good for analyzing I really do believe Danganronpa 2 Chapter 3 is the best Chapter 3 out of the franchise. I think the reserving of their personalities truly meaning the traits they would hate to have is soo good I’m eating up, sealing it in my heart, and using it forever such a delightful way to explain it. The interpretations on what disease Hajime would get is so fun, I’ve seen some people interpret him getting the honesty disease which is fun in concept but I don’t think it works as well as other ideas could, y’know? Your ideas for a potential apathy or fawning disease are really fun to me, I like the idea of the fawning disease tapping into how much of a realist he is and giving him the opposite attitude Lol. Thank you so much for sending this it’s so fun I’ll be thinking about this forever, I wish I was a fanfic writer aha! I really want to become a fanfic writer, soon with time I suppose. Thank you again for sharing your daydreams with me, you’re very right it does have a lot of analysis potential! :D

[siryouarebeingmocked]

“Israel is going out of it’s way to be cartoonishly evil, for literally no benefit, when they could already turn Palestine into a parking lot with conventional weapons.”

Also, if the device is so dangerous, why is someone just casually handling it? Is it somehow set up so that only pulling the key releases it?

The irony is that sayruq is posting this nonsense to stan for folks who directly attack Israeli civilians with conventional weapons, and also tell their own civilians to ignore Israeli warnings.

https://youtube.com/shorts/CJFm1e5O_K4?si=DDrgWZBUB7yShBs5

https://youtube.com/shorts/rJO1zPaDjtc?si=q4_Tk2OKKK9VZCnc

Disclaimer: didn’t watch these videos that Angerybell linked.

Someone else’s post:

Those are containers for M603 fuzes for detonating landmines, and they are literally labelled as 'fuze mine'. They're dropped on the ground because they are small objects that aren't super important, and sometimes people drop things.

And it takes a minimum of 140 pounds of force to activate that fuze and set off the explosion. Given that people normally don't have to apply the force of literally an entire human body to open a goddamn can of meat, I really doubt anyone's going to be 'tricked'. Especially since the supposed fake can of meat is literally labelled as actually being an explosive.

(Source)

This particular line of bullshit was posted in January, and quickly debunked. And if you'd click on the notes at all, you'll see the reply section is also full of people pointing out that this is a blatant lie. Also, OP I'd love to see some sources on that 'exploding toys' claim, because I've seen multiple blogs posting a photo of the debunked exploding can story with that exact paragraph copy-pasted underneath, and frankly that's a bit of a red flag in terms of reliable information. Given that you're not fact checking something you posted yesterday that was debunked over a month ago, I really don't trust your unsourced copy-pasted paragraph accusing a Jewish state of going out of its way to kill children. Because given the very long history of Jewish people being brutally murdered over false accusations of them killing and eating christian/muslim children, you need to be very fucking careful when you make a claim like that. If your accusation isn't backed with rock solid proof that you are openly presenting, you're just blindly spreading blood libel, and that's basically the textbook definition of antisemitism.

(Explanation of blood libel)

I wish people would stop misusing “blood libel” for things that are not in fact blood libel, but are still racist, anti-semitic horseapples.

[youremyheaven]

I had some perspective altering sex with this Bharani Sun & Mercury man. He's been obsessed with me for over a year (idk what it is but men who want me, pursue me for years 😳) and he calls himself my "admirer" and he's just madly blindly completely taken by me, I'd never casually say that about anyone but for a year and a half, this guy has been there for me in a way nobody ever has 😭😭and he's never even met me. He came to my city today morning from ANOTHER STATE just to see me 😭😭😭😭and we had a great time just hanging out and stuff but then we went back to his hotel room and he was just being casual and just talking to me and stuff but then the vibe changed and I started to kiss him 😳and then he stopped me and hugged me and said "I don't deserve to have sex with a woman like you. Please never forget your worth. You're so precious, very very few people deserve to see you naked" 😭😭😭😭😭 I felt so ???? like he's 34 and he's very protective of me in a big brotherly way and he's just always seen me in such a positive light??? and i felt kinda embarrassed 🤡and he literally just lay there hugging me and told me how I'll go very far in life and how I have a bright future ahead of me and how he feels blessed to even get to hold me like this 😭😭😭 but then the vibe changed and he went down on me, and kissed every square inch of my skin and ate my 🍑and idk if this is a Bharani guy thing but both arm guy and this guy (who I'll call bald guy because he's a skinhead) just stare at me lying down or lying on top of me and don't do anything 😭😭😭 Venusian men are kinda awkward at making love I feel like??? Both of them treat me like I'm too precious to be fucked which I really like kinda tbh but sometimes you just want someone to fck you like a ragdoll if ykwim 😭😭😭😭 and both of them say the same exact thing "I just want to take it all in" like ok king but I want to take it all in too 😭😭INSIDE ME THO 😭😭 and I'm literally begging him to fck me and he says he can't 🤡🤡🤡 and I was like huh 😳 and he said he cannot bring himself to fuck me 😭😭 I WOULD'VE SCREAMED, like I'm horny out of my mind 😭and idk if y'all know what it's like to be edged BUT THAT SHIT IS PAINFUL 😖😫 and I gave up and we're just cuddling and talking about stuff and he says "I love you, if you ever need anything I'm here for you, I've loved you for a year and a half now and I've always dreamt of saying it to you and now I get to, so here, I love you" 😭😭😭😳🤡 and so many of his habits in bed reminded me of arm guy ngl 😭🤡 down to some of the things they said to me and the moment they said it etc 🤡🤡🤡 it's the Bharani effect I think 😳😳😳and by that point I lost all hope but then he started touching me again and finally he lost all self control and he was like fck it and FINALLY put it in 😌😌 and when i tell you, i saw stars 😩😩 but he lost his hardness and couldn't finish and said he wasn't feeling confident and I told him it's okay because I didn't even care about cumming at that point, I just wanted to be pounded into 😭😭😭 and then we finally left 😭he dropped me home in a rickshaw (he didn't have to come but he still did 🥺) and he spent hella money today just paying for everything 🫶 and in the rickshaw he told me "if anybody asks you who I am, tell them I'm your sugar daddy" 😭😭🤡 he was just joking obviously but it kinda felt like it 😳😤😳

But it was so emotional and so healing in some ways and just the way he handled my body like I was made of crystal or something 😭 really 🤌🤌rewired my brain I feel like 😭😭😭

[an-ambivalent]

Can I request hcs for yandere Itachi and Deidara as they courted their s / o? What would make them kidnap her??

Warnings: As this is yandere fiction, this deals with behaviours  that can be uncomfortable and triggering to read. Read at your own risk. This work is purely fictional, I do not condone this behaviour irl. By clicking the 'read more/keep reading' you are consenting to read this at your discretion. Specific trigger warnings: stalking, brief implications of human tr**icking.

Also, I only wrote for Itachi. I was going to do both Itachi and Deidara but Itachi's scenario got too long and I don't feel like writing anymore (ya girls got essays due T_T)

(A/N: This is set in an AU where the Uchiha clan's massacre hasn't happened yet and Itachi is about 19+ years old; whatever age you like your men in dear reader)

What made him fall in love?

~Few months ago, you were finally promoted to ANBU. While you weren't made an ANBU at a prodigal young age like Itachi or Kakashi, it was still a commendable achievement to be promoted at your age. So far, majority of the missions you were assigned had been solos or with other insignificant characters from the show, and they hadn't been too life threatening. Until your first mission with the ANBU leader Itachi.

~Your mission was to assassinate the leader of a rebellious group who had been causing trouble for the businessman that had hired you. With the sensitive position he was in (double spy for his clan and the village), Itachi was long accustomed to setting his feelings aside and following the mission goal to a T, no matter what. Typically, so were you. However, in the admist of the mission, as you two were separately engaging in your assigned tasks, you had found that your employer was actually running a red district business involving people that were forced to be there. You had no time to discuss this with Itachi; your body acted on its own. You shielded the rebellious group leader just as Itachi was about to assassinate him, and instinctively sent your weapon of choice where you knew the businessman hit and killing him instead.

~Subsequent to getting Itachi caught up about the situation and prior to your departure back to the village, Itachi pulled you aside. With the most terrifying glare he could mustered, he told you off for your incompetency and jeopardizing the mission by putting your feelings first. He was going to threaten you to be demoted, but before he could, you returned his glare with one of your own, and had a kunai against his throat; ready to kill him.

Both of you knew that he could easily turn the situation around; but he held back momentarily, intrigued to see what someone like you, who dared to threaten your superior, the Uchiha heir much less, had to say.

"It's really easy for you to put aside your morals and blindly do whatever the Village and your clan tells you to because you were never strong enough to hold onto your humanity. But not all of us are cowards like you. Some of us are still human and value innocent lives - we fight to protect in what we believe in, not just heartless kill whatever the fuck those bastard elders tell us. Do what you want to do, I don't care." You hissed. Then, you pulled your kunai away from his neck, and walked away - not before scoffing at him one last time.

Your words had cut deep into Itachi. The entire way home, as not a single word was exchanged between the two of you, he could not stop thinking about how when he was younger, he too used to cherish human life. And while his entire life, everyone praised him for what a strong shinobi he was and he knew that, he got so lost in their words that he never realised that he had gotten too weak to even consider the possibility of following his own path, rather than the one his village or his clan had predetermined for him.

Courting:

~Itachi expressed his affections and 'confessed' subtly and indirectly. He would leave flowers by your front door step, your favourite snacks and drinks in your locker at the ANBU headquaters and they had little notes attached to him like:

I love your eyes when you smile.

Your beauty shines brighter than the moon.

I prefer the smells of rosemary over vanilla in your hair so why don't you always wear the rosemary shampoo instead?

~At first, you found notes and gifts from your secret admirer endearing. However, when they started showing up at your abode, and with notes that were obviously creepy like the third one, you were scared. You started to feel on edge, and with the nervousness of knowing they were watching you, you found it harder and harder to sleep.

~You were a trained ANBU; so evidently, less sleep didn't mean much. Until it was on like that for too long and all the exhaustion started to wear you down. The worst fright came when you had realised that you knew someone was watching you, but you never noticed someone watching you. This meant that whoever was your secret stalker admirer, was far more skilled predator than you were.

Kidnapping:

~Itachi waited for you to return his affections and confess to him. He thought he had made his feelings clear enough through his gifts and notes. But there was no change from you; you didn't approach him, or give any indication that you returned his feelings. Was it because of his clan? The village? Did you think they would get in your way and do something to you? Because if it was fear, he would protect you.

~Actually, the more he thought about it, the more he realised that they would get in his way. Before, Itachi would have just ignored his feelings in the favour of completing his assigned mission. However, to be good enough for you, he wanted to change and be true to himself. Itachi failed to realise that you didn't even know it was him who was your "secret admirer."

But, it was meant to be because of his new and last mission in Konohagakure. If he finishes this mission, he will have his clan off his back and the village elders won't be a problem. He will have to leave, and he will take you with him.

You were absolutely terrified when for once, you had finally managed to fall asleep, but then you were abruptly awaken from your deep slumber. You opened your eyes to find Itachi, staring down at you with his brilliant and petrified red eyes, and covered in blood. The sharingan pattern in his eyes was different from his typical three tomes, which scared you even more.

"You don't have to be scared anymore. Nothing will get in our way; we can be finally be together."

[brujahinaskirt]

Real talk: I used to dislike LH Arthur because fanon low-honor Arthur is... boring. But canon low-honor Arthur? He--his arc--is somethin' else.

[RDR2 MAJOR SPOILERS BELOW]

To start with what LH Arthur is not: MOST (not all, most) of the time, the fandom's interpretation (generous word choice) of low-honor Arthur amounts to little more than a mind-numbingly generic dark edgelord fuckprince with little to zero textual support. All his interesting traits, concerns, and cares are stripped away to leave a generic evil sexyman doll with no psychological complexity and maximum y/n fuckability. Or even duller, fanon LH Arthur is just a cornball redditor projecting all the dumb chaos shit they did in sandbox mode into the narrative and promptly ignoring said narrative in its entirety. (i.e., HAR HAR ARTHUR CANONICALLY BURNED HIS HORSE NAMED MARY ALIVE FOR FUN AND PISSED ON THE ASHES, YOU CAN DO THAT SO IT MEANS ROCKSTAR SAID IT HAPPENED) (sorry about your brain)

... but the canon low-honor Arthur trajectory is actually so fucking good. like yesss son please wake the fuck up after 20 years of consciously and painfully murdering your own self-concept to transform yourself into a workhorse of service to provide for a father who gives you nothing in return except a shadow of love (not even a genuine thank you).

yessss it is time to notice yourself again after two decades of blindness, to try and stop the bleeding, but you have lost your ability to heal with the crude tools you have turned your hands/mind/soul into (and for what? for whom??). So all you have at your disposal is to bleed some justice from the prophet-preacher-god-figure who was supposed to love you & love everyone you love most in this world.

yessssss forget revenge and fairness (pretty lies) and just get the only satisfaction available to you which is to make this, the final act of completing your self-destruction at his hands, take his entire family from him (prioritizing the people you love the most, he never deserved them).

And YESSSS use your last acts to spurn him, to rip his mask off, to let him know that YOU, the product of his own creation, his son, the blindly loyal pet he hammered into existence out of a child, SEES HIM for who he really is. Make sure he knows that someone is finally looking through this glitzy shell of a patriarch and psuedo-dreamer and looking RIGHT AT what's really under there. Which is nothing. Make your last words remind him of all the other people who destroyed themselves for him ("not Molly, not Ms. Grimshaw...") because they were more human and lived & felt more genuinely than he ever will. Make SURE he knows that YOU know he has nothing inside him, absolutely fucking nothing, he's not even a complete man; he's just a pathetic shadow of humanness, like a parrot imitating speech without ever really understanding it or feeling the weight of it ("[I'm dying but] you're dead, inside you're dead"); he has therefore become nothing more than the victim of another manipulator, another nothing-creature wrapped in a shell of someone who loves him but doesn't, really, and can't, and never did.

Yessssss hurt him so bad with the way you die he stops talking for seven years

[here4kpopfics]

Put It Out | JJK

just a quick little something to put our minds at ease about that stupid candle. @minttangerines asked and I...I don't know, honestly. Here we are. I'm tired. Enjoy. Thank you beautiful @mikrokcsmos for the edits and being wonderful. 💜💜 also gonna tag @pamzn @minisugakoobies and @sugakookitty bc i can. hi i love you all.

Masterlist | AskBox | Taglist | Coffee? | Patreon

jjk x reader | fluff/stupiness | 1863 words | pg15 but really 13 but really who cares | Jungkook better put that shit out before his house goes down in flames.

“I’m gonna go live, jagi.”

“It’s two in the morning, Koo. Let army sleep.” You turn over in bed to see your boyfriend throwing a shirt on and fixing his hair in the bathroom mirror before turning back to you with a pout. 

The dumb pout that wins every argument. You hate it and love it. 

“I’m sure some of them are awake! I’ll make it a chill live. Put the galaxy light on and get a candle. They can fall asleep to it.” 

“Like any of them can fall asleep to you singing to them.” You mumble under your breath, getting up and grabbing your phone and a charger. “Let me grab something to drink and a snack first.”

“You’re gonna watch?” Dumb bunny smiles with the cute crinkles around his eyes. You want to kiss him stupid but you’re too tired. 

“Someone has to make sure you don’t do anything dumb.” You quip, quickly pecking his lips with yours as you make your way to the kitchen, grabbing supplies. You hear his feet following you and smile. 

“I don’t do anything stupid!”

“Unholy. Body roll. While not stupid, I'm pretty sure a good handful of people had heart attacks that night.” You grab your laptop off the dining room table, “Boxing. Moaning and groaning while on the floor and out of sight. Stupid only because you were out of sight and that led people to have ideas about things that only I get to experience.” 

“I wasn’t—”

“Yes you were. But it’s fine. I accept that you’re a flirty hoe, it’s who you are baby. Embrace it. Have fun. I’ll be in the room waiting for you to come back to bed.” You take a quick inventory of the room, making sure he moved anything of yours out of view when you spot the candle.

“Why the candle, though?” 

“To lighten it up in here…and it smells nice.”

“Baby, you have a ring light.” 

“Ring light doesn’t smell nice.”

You groan in defeat, shaking your head and walking past him, back to the room, “blow it out when you’re done!”

“Kay!” 

You settle back in bed, charger plugged in and a pillow acting as a laptop stand while you snack on whatever it was you blindly grabbed. You hear the music starting before you get the notification about him going live on Weverse pops up. You pop in your AirPods and get ready for a long night. 

You scroll through tumblr and Twitter as he finally appears on the screen, quietly giggling at everyone freaking out over specific songs and him and his hair. You can’t blame them, though. His hair still makes you giddy when you see it. 

A few songs in and you realize quickly what playlist he’s going through. The playlist you created together, tossing random shit that either reminded you of one another, was just a fucking vibe, or was just something you personally wanted him to sing because you knew he could. 

One of the very few perks of dating him that you participate in. 

But he’s doing that thing, that thing you hate. You do it, too. You’re not afraid to admit it. But it’s worse when he does it because he’s singing at the same time. 

He gets a little more than half way through a song, either reaching the second chorus or even the bridge, and then just skips to the next song. But not just the song right after, no. The man skips and skips and skips and skips, letting you hear a second of each song and getting excited before he skips to another one, repeating the process. It drives you mad.

Thankfully, it drives army mad as well, so at least you have that to validate your annoyance. 

You accidentally laugh out loud when he starts singing along with Leave The Door Open and you pray no one had heard it, watching the chat to see if anyone says anything. Thankfully, no one heard a thing and you relax, but only a little because he’s got the damn candle in his hand and he’s moving the melted wax around and you have to bite your tongue to suppress yourself from laughing again when the flame goes out. 

“Serves you right.” You mutter. 

He continues on with this “chill night” of blasting his music, getting more drinks, watching Hoseok’s new music video twice without saying a word, accidentally swearing while singing a Charlie Puth song, and unabashedly flirting with army again. 

You watch his mood start to dip when he gets to some slower songs, one that you put in when you were feeling insecure about your relationship with him. 

He looks exhausted as he talks about the current situation he’d been forced into with ‘fans’ not respecting his privacy and treating him like he’s not human and your heart cracks for him. Part of you wants to run out there, turn off the live and hug him. The other part knows he needs to get it off his chest. Even if he’s tipsy, it’s something that needs to be discussed. You can comfort him after. 

But of course, never one to let the mood be sad for too long, he switches to a fun more upbeat song and says he needs to go to the bathroom.

A few seconds later, he’s opening the door to your bedroom and leaning over your little set up and grabbing your face, pulling you in for a deep kiss. 

“I love you” the words fall off his lips quietly and you repeat them back without hesitation, smiling when he gives a shorter kiss before bolting to the bathroom. He comes back out, stealing some of your snacks and snickering at your reaction, throwing up a finger heart as he leaves the room. 

He seems to have woken up a little bit, but not by much from the way he keeps laying back on the couch for a minute or two at a time. 

“I swear if you fall asleep on camera…” you whisper at the screen, glaring at the slow rise and fall of his chest. 

“I'm not going to sleep.” He groans, trying to wake himself up, “if I’m gonna sleep, I’ll tell you and get off but I don’t feel like sleeping right now, okay?” He’s whining which you know perfectly well he’s about to fall asleep. He turns into a toddler, confused and upset that his body would betray him like this. 

Not even five minutes later he’s picking up the candle again, placing it in front of the camera for aesthetic reasons, you’re sure. 

“I’m gonna rest a bit. Just a few minutes. Promise.” He disappears out of sight and you’re sure he’s laying down. 

Aw, fuck. He’s gonna sleep on camera.

You wait five minutes and then you hear it, clear as day in your AirPods, the sound of his snoring. It’s so light, but so very obvious your boyfriend has fallen asleep on camera and millions of people are now watching him. Although, not really watching him, because he’s off camera. But it’s close enough! 

You quickly send a text to Taehyung, praying he’s still awake. 

Y/n: Koo fell asleep on camera. What do I do?

Tae: you have to end it or I’ll see if any of the team can…did he really fall asleep? 

Y/n: yes! And he has a stupid candle burning still right next to his phone. I can’t go out there until it’s over. 

Tae: oh my god he’s going to get so much shit for this from us, that’s amazing. 

Tae: I’ll call and see if anyone can turn it off, but I doubt it since it’s four in the morning. Try to do it in the meantime. 

You groan, tossing your phone to the side and looking back at your laptop. He’s still asleep. And that candle is still burning. The chat is yelling about it, tumblr and Twitter are both freaking out about it. 

Fuck. You’re gonna have to do something about it. You take out the AirPods, getting back out of bed and throwing one of his sweaters on as well as his sweatpants. 

You quietly and slowly open the door, thankful the door can’t be seen from that angle on the stream, and slowly drop to the floor. 

Time to mission impossible this shit. 

Using the sweater and pants, you’re able to softly glide on the floor that you’re very thankful was cleaned earlier today and Bam wasn’t here to ruin. You make your way behind the couch until you’re on the opposite side of his phone. He’s just off to the side, very clearly out of sight and you sneak up on the floor next to the couch, keeping yourself hidden. 

“Baby?” You whisper it as quietly as you possibly can manage, but he doesn’t respond except with a soft whimper of a snore. He’s too adorable.

The sound of the tv going into sleep mode makes you jump. 

You can’t wake him up without either making noise or him saying your name when he wakes. So you sneak away from him again, creeping directly behind his phone and reaching around, trying to keep your finger out of sight as you tap where you're sure the end live button is located. You stay sitting behind the camera, grabbing your phone and checking if the live is off, and thank god it is. 

You stand up, blowing out the candle and taking it to the kitchen to set it somewhere safe. You turn off the galaxy light and make your way back to your tired and dumb boyfriend, crawling on top of him. 

“Jungkoooookie. Baby. Wake up, dumb dumb.” 

He groans in annoyance, and as suspected, the first thing he says is your name.  

“Y/n? I’m live right now. You can’t be out here.” He whines, but his hands find their home on your thighs, squeezing softly. 

“I ended it, you goober. You fell asleep on camera. Snoring and everything.” You grin, cradling his face in one hand and kissing his nose. “Come on, let’s get you to a real bed.” 

“Here’s good.” He says, pulling you down to him and flipping you both on your sides. 

“Nuh-uh. To the bed, mister. You’ll thank me in the morning.” You reach out, patting his butt and laughing when he bucks his hips once towards yours. “Not that either. Let’s go.” 

You climb out of his grip, pulling him off the couch and grabbing his phone, leading him to the bedroom. You quickly remove your stuff and he quite literally flips over onto the bed while you plug his phone into your charger. 

You have to maneuver him to get under the blankets, doing so yourself when he’s finally in bed, getting comfortable when a giant tattooed arm reaches around your waist, dragging you to have your back against his chest.

“Goodnight, jagi.” A small kiss on your temple. 

“Goodnight, dumb boy.” Your free hand wraps around the hand on your waist and you both fall asleep. 

He’s gonna be in so much trouble when he wakes up.

Booga Booga I'm tired

[pippin-katz]

I need a cast audiobook of RWRB. If no one else, then at least Taylor and Nick reading Alex and Henry. I need it in my life.

And in ACD fashion, here’s a few lists of lines/conversations from the book that I am desperate to hear them say. I want to hear them read all of the lines, but these are the ones that pop out to me!

Post Writing Note: These turned out to be way longer than I thought they were going to be 😭😂

Alex Lines:

Oh yeah, that was a wild night. Two whole keynote speakers. Nothing sexier than shrimp cocktails and an hour and a half of speeches on carbon emissions. - page 5

'Archnemesis' implies he's actually a rival to me on any level and not, you know, a stuck-up product of inbreeding who probably jerks off to photos of himself. - page 7

Jesus Christ, it’s like they can see into your soul. Cornbread knows my sins, Henry. Cornbread knows what I have done, and he is here to make me atone. - page 77

I always thought you’d kill me in a more personal way. Silk pillow over my face, slow and gentle suffocation. Just you and me. Sensual. - page 80

Shut up, shut all the way up, oh my God. - page 131

For fuck's sake, man, you just had my dick in your mouth, you can kiss me good-night. - page 145

What in the rich-white-people-sex-dungeon hell? - page 149

Bisexuality is truly a rich and complex tapestry. - page 194

Listen: I'll fly to London right now and pull you out of whatever pointless meeting you're in and make you admit how much you love it when I call you "baby". I'll take you apart with my teeth, sweetheart. - page 204

You don't get to sit up here and pretend like it's someone else's problem. None of us do. - page 209

i want to see a cage match between your grandmother and this fucking ghoul running against my mom. - page 221

I do think I got a gut feeling with you, I just didn't have what I needed in my head to understand it. But I kind of kept chasing it anyway, like I was just going blindly in a certain direction and hoping for the best. I guess that makes you the North Star? - page 244

Henry! Your Royal fucking Highness! - page 269

Really nice. Fuckin' ghost me for a week, make me stand in the rain like a brown John Cusack, and now you won't even talk to me. I'm really just having a great time here. I can see why y'all had to marry your fucking cousins. - page 270

I fucking love you, okay? Fuck, I swear. You don't make it fucking easy. But I'm in love with you. - page 271

I'll leave, as soon as you tell me to leave. - page 275

Okay, I'm into making history. - page 280

I completely fucking love you. - page 291

I'm there for whatever you decide you want to do, just, like, let me know if I need to start practicing gazing wistfully out the window, waiting for my love to return from the war. - page 296

AN INCOMPLETE LIST: THINGS I LOVE ABOUT HRH PRINCE HENRY OF WALES Note: just the entire list, I need it, but I'll point out some of the best ones anyway lol

9. How hard you try. 10. How hard you've always tried. 11. How determined you are to keep trying. - page 303

16. Your huge, generous, ridiculous, indestructible heart. 17. Your equally huge dick. 18. The face you just made when you read that last one. - page 303

20. The fact that you loved me all along. - page 303

God, I want to fight everyone who's ever hurt you, but it was me too, wasn't it? All that time. I'm so sorry. - page 303

Listen, I'm telling you right now, I will physically fight your grandmother myself if I have to, okay? And, like, she's old. I know I can take her. - page 312

You and me and history, remember? We're just gonna fucking fight. Because you're it, okay? I'm never gonna love anybody in the world like I love you. - page 312

Sería una mentira, porque no sería él. (It would be a lie, because it wouldn't be him.) - page 317

but i've kissed your mouth, that corner, that place it goes, so many times now. i've memorized it. topography on the map of you, a world i'm still charting. i know it. i added it to the key. here: inches to miles. i can multiply it out, read your latitude and longitude. recite your coordinates like la rosaria. - page 319

give yourself away sometimes, sweetheart. there's so much of you. - page 320

Zahra, you're my mean friend. - page 339

I've never... I haven't been through anything like that. But I've always felt it, in him. There's this side of him that's... unknowable. But the thing is, jumping off cliffs is kinda my thing. That's the choice. I love him, with all that, because of all that. On purpose. I love him on purpose. - page 344

For what it's worth, that is the bravest son of a bitch I've ever met. - page 347

My life is a cosmic joke and you're not a real person. - page 371

You are, the absolute worst idea I've ever had. - page 372

FIRST SON ALEXANDER CLAREMONT-DIAZ'S ADDRESS FROM THE WHITE HOUSE, OCTOBER 2, 2020 - pages 372-375 Note: just, the entire speech, the whole thing

America: He is my choice. - page 374

Henry Lines:

Hmm, I always liked Luke. He's brave and good, and he's the strongest Jedi of them all. I think Luke is proof that it doesn't matter where you come from or who your family is--you can always be great if you're true to yourself. - page 45

The turkeys are not going to Jurassic Park you. You’re not the bloke from Seinfeld. You’re Jeff Goldblum. Go to sleep. - page 82

You are the thistle in the tender and sensitive arse crack of my life. - page 73

fucking eyelashes - page 142

I shall just have to make it the best orgasm of your life. What can I do to make it good for you? Talk about American tax reform during the act? Have you got talking points? - page 196

How is a man to get anything done knowing Alex Claremont-Diaz is out there on the loose? - pages 202-203

They wanted something less fruity than the truth, but truly, what is gayer than a woman who languishes away in a crumbling mansion wearing her wedding gown every day of her life, for the drama? - page 205

Someone else's choice doesn't change who you are. - page 229

Most things are awful most of the time, but you're good. - page 230

The phrase "see attached bibliography" is the single sexiest thing you have ever written to me. - page 241

Should I tell you that when we're apart, your body comes back to me in dreams? That when I sleep, I see you, the dip of your waist, the freckle above your hip, and when I wake up in the morning, it feels like I've been with you, the phantom touch of your hand on the back of my neck fresh and not imagined? That I can feel your skin against mine, and it makes every bone in my body ache? That, for a few moments, I can hold my breath and be back there with you, in a dream, in a thousand rooms, nowhere at all? - page 242 Note: based on the parts of this we did get to hear Nick say in the film, I think this would kill half the fandom lol

When have I ever, since the first instant I touched you, pretended to be anything less than in love with you? - page 272

I never thought I'd be stood here faced with a choice I can't make, because I never... I never imagined you would love me back. - page 273

The Mail will write mad speculations about where I've gone, if I've offed myself or vanished to St. Kilda, but only you and I will know that I'm just sprawled in your bed, reading books and feeding myself profiteroles and making love to you endlessly until we both expire in a haze of chocolate sauce. It's how I'd want to go. - page 294

Here lies Prince Henry of Wales. He died as he lived: avoiding plans and sucking cock. - page 298

"Because I'm not like the rest of the men of this family, beginning with the fact that I am very deeply gay, Philip." - page 298

But the first time I saw you. Rio. I took that down to the gardens. I pressed it into the leaves of a silver maple and recited it to the Waterloo Vase. It didn't fit in any rooms. - page 300

I thought, this is the most incredible thing I have ever seen, and I had better keep it a safe distance away from me. I though, if someone like that ever loved me, it would set me on fire. - page 300

And then, inexplicably, you had the absolute audacity to love me back. - page 300 Note: I really wanted to just type out most of the page, but I restrained myself lmfao

I don't know if I would have chosen it yet, but it's out there now, and... I won't lie. Not about this. Not about you. - page 338

Bit short for a stormtrooper. - page 340

I've bloody well had it. I've sat about long enough letting you and Gran and the weight of the damned world keep me pinned, and I'm finished. I don't care. You can take your legacy and your decorum and you can shove it up your fucking arse, Philip. I'm done. - page 347

I've been as gay as a maypole since the day I came out of Mum, Philip. - page 353 Note: there's never too many times to hear the words "gay as a maypole" and the emotional infliction here is lot different lol

Both:

Am I offending you? Sorry I'm not obsessed with you like everyone else. I know that must be confusing for you. Do you know what? I think you are. Only a thought. Have you ever noticed I have never once approached you and have been exhaustingly civil every time we've spoken? Yet here you are, seeking me out again. Simply an observation. - page 18

This is idiotic. Let's get it over with. I'd rather be waterboarded. Your country could probably arrange that. Go fuck yourself. Hardly enough time. - pages 36-37 Note: yes, I know Nick read this part in his book-to-screen video thingy but it's not the same as having them both saying the lines fully in character.

What does Jedi have? Fuckin' Ewoks. Ewoks are iconic. Ewoks are stupid. - page 52

yo there's a bond marathon on and did you know your dad was a total babe I BEG YOU TO NOT - page 84

I'm going to die. I'm going to kill you. Yes, you are. - page 133

You were jealous. You want me. Yes, you preening arse, I've wanted you long enough that I won't have you tease me for another fucking second. - page 137

Hi. Hello. I'm gonna take your pants off now. Yes, good, carry on. - page 141

Ugh, you look ridiculous. Should I-- What? No, of course not, keep them on. Oh my God, what are you doing? I can't even look at you. No, Jesus, I just mean--I'm so mad at you. Just, come here. Fuck. I'm quite confused. Me fucking too. - page 150

I'm not... historically great at talking about things. Well, I wasn't historically great at blowjobs, but we all gotta learn and grow, sweetheart. - page 165

Bitch, you took me there. alskdjfadslfjad NORA YOU BROKE HIM - page 212

D'you know what I want? What? I want, to do the absolute last thing I'm supposed to be doing right now. Then tell me to do it, sweetheart. Fuck me. Well, when at Wimbledon. Just so we're clear, I'm about to have sex with you in this storage closet to spite your family. Like, that's what's happening? Right. Awesome, fucking' love doing things out of spite. - page 217 Note: I think this conversation could singlehandedly kill the fandom if we got to hear Taylor and Nick deliver these lines

Can't you ever just do one thing without having to be so goddamn extra about it? That is bloody rich coming from you. - pages 260-261

What do you want? I want you- Then fucking have me. -but I don't want this. - page 273

You seem... less pissy. You're one to talk. I wasn't the one who stormed the palace in a fit to call me an 'obtuse fucking asshole'. In my defense, you were an obtuse fucking asshole. - page 277

I honestly have never thought I deserved to choose. But you treat me like I do. You do. I think I'm actually starting to believe that. - page 279

What about you? What about me? Christ, Alex. The whole bloody time. The whole time? Since the Olympics. The Olympics? But that's, that's like- Yes, Alex, the day we met, nothing gets past you, does it? 'What about you,' he says, as if he doesn't know- Shut your mouth. - page 283-284

Hello, what was that for? I just, like, really love you. - page 286

What are you doing? I'm taking a picture of a national gay landmark. And also a statue. It's funny. I always thought of the whole things as the most unforgivable thing about me, but you act like it's one of the best. Oh, yeah. The top list of reason to love you goes brain, then dick, then imminent status as a revolutionary gay icon. You are quite literally Queen Victoria's worst nightmare. And that's why you love me. My god, you're right. All this time, I was just after the bloke who'd most infuriate my homophobic forebears. Ah, and we can't forget they were also racist. Certainly not. Next time we shall visit some of the George III pieces and see if they burst into flame. - page 289

If Alex from this time last year could see this. He'd say, 'Oh I'm in love with Henry? That must be why I'm such an arse to him all the time'. - page 387

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