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marksinn · 3 years

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Passion Project: Inspiration

I don’t think I’m starting at the beginning with this post. Keep your eyes peeled for later posts that explain what I’m doing and why.

After a month of thinking about, sketching and painting designs, I have finally done something. Essentially, recently watching two films has pushed me into action, and a part of me is ashamed to admit it. There isn’t a word count or any typesetting to curtail my thoughts here, so strap in.

When I created this brief I figured I’d draw a million wee skateboards, colour a few of them in, then fling my favourites into Adobe illustrator and make them look good. From there I would take the 5 best up to the skatepark and ask some of the patrons there which designs stood out to them. Next, I would adapt the three front-runners and create sweet PhotoShop mockups that would show what my designs would look like as skateboards. If I had the time, inclination or money by the end of the project, I would have the design laid onto a real skateboard (I’ve been looking to buy a new one for some time) and then be proud of myself.

So I’ve drawn some wee skateboards. Then I started upscaling the designs onto the floorboards of my loft:

This was an exercise to let me see how small things need to be adapted to be blown up. Skateboards can have any level of detail that you like on them, I hadn’t considered this until I was trying to draw a semi-perfect triangle for the traffic cone, or until I was using chalk to recreate four cubes. It’s also been fun to work with different media on chipboard - I have learned that most kinds of pencil, paint, chalk and charcoal do not like being used on chipboard. Decorating paint, however, has no such issues. Thanks, Dulux!

And so, with a few of these under my belt, I decided to try some digital designs. So I jumped into Illustrator and totally ignored my sketchbook, coming up with three designs that were all inspired by the day I had just had. The top design, I’ll focus on last, for reasons that will become apparent (unless you follow me on Instagram, where you’ll already know that it’s an absolute hit, with over 19 likes already!). I was told by a guy at the skatepark that he likes decks with very basic designs, just a colour or two, nothing overly detailed. Another skater told me that he often likes the basic wood background with one small emblem or sticker just beside the wheels.

The duo-tone design felt nice, I’m usually one for over-complicating things. I definitely have an attitude of “If there’s more in it, there’s a greater chance someone will find something they like”. The first colour choice put my girlfriend in the mind of a hand-bag she had seen photographed in the arms of Carrie Fisher - it was designed to look like a Prozac pill. So I changed the colours up, and added the separating black lines and textures to give it some subtle character. I then went full meta with the Minimal design. And, if I’m being honest, I’m incredibly happy with how it looks like a wee character. Expect to see that making a comeback in the very near future. But the top design is what really got me going.

I’ve recently been watching...

...Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, and have been loving Miles Morales’ multiple hobbies of graffiti, mixing beats and saving his neighbourhood from a variety of dangers.

I then went to the cinema to see In The Heights, telling the tale of the Latin community during a blackout in North Manhattan. I found myself wrapped up in the romance, tribulations and music of the cast, and was felt oddly proud of Lin Manuel Miranda - who wrote this as a stage-musical while he was in college, had a modicum of success with it, then went on to create Hamilton, one of the most important musicals of our time. With the success of that particular show taking the entire world by storm, he was given the opportunity to make his old, relatively only semi-popular play into a blockbuster film. You can’t help but be inspired by someone like that.

I often find towards the end of a film I’m inspired by the characters’ journeys: be that from zero to hero, from lonely to loved or from rags to riches. Then I walk out and carry on with my normal life doing normal things. And as the hero of the story’s dreams all came true in the closing minutes (sorry for the spoiler, but it’s a musical, they rarely end in despair), a thought floated across my mind:

I’m utterly sick of being inspired

Now, to my credit, I did figure out in the car home that ‘tired’ would be a far more fitting and rhythmic word to use in this sentence, but this was a mentality that I found resonated really strongly with me. I’m very good at being inspired, I think most people are. We hear stories of people starting their own business, achieving some sporting brilliance or overcoming a personal hurdle and we say “Wow, isn’t that inspiring?” or

“It really inspires you to go out and make a difference!” or

“They are such an inspirational speaker!”

Then we go off about our day, not acting on the inspiration, and, for the most part, remaining uninspired. So I decided to act.

I did some very quick research (/acquiring of images of graffiti) in order to get the right shapes and textures to create a spray paint effect in Illustrator. I did some very quick research (/confirming the colours) of South American flags, taking the blue and red used in flags of the home nations of Miles Morales from Spider-Man and Usnavi from In The Heights. And I created the top design.

YES! I had been inspired and I had drawn a wee picture to show that - I had acted on my inspirations!

Then I looked to my left and spotted three, blank skate decks that I had bought on a whim from Re:Ply (a wonderful wee company who do a great deal of charity work supplying boards to people who need them, selling boards to people who can afford them, and for a very reasonable fee, providing unusable decks to people who want to use them for artistic purposes). I realised I hadn’t acted on my inspiration, I had just drawn a few pictures of skateboards with the eventual aim of PhotoShopping them onto other pictures of skateboards.

So I took myself...

... into the city centre with a shoddily prepared speech: “I’m looking for some cheap, small cans of spray paint. I’ve no idea what I’m doing, or if I’ll be good at it, so don’t want to invest too much into this.” Hiding behind this self-deprecating shield I barged into multiple art-, pound- and model-shops and pleaded with the staff to help a young idiot out. Amazingly, a very kind shop assistant pointed me in the direction of Fat Buddha, a clothes shop I’d always ignored as it seemed a bit to “...” for me. I don’t know what it seemed, but I knew it wasn't my kind of shop. Happy to prove me wrong, the guys in there were super helpful and they helped me buy my first cans of spray paint.

Now I’d spent money...

... and as a skinflint, that meant I had to get use out of my purchases. I had tricked myself into being inspired. Inspiration led me to the drawing, inspiration had led me to buy decks and the paint, now inspiration had to make me spray paint.

I’ll stop yammering on now. Essentially, I had planned on creating some analogue designs then digitising them (I’m guessing I should do a post on my brief, yeah? Might just upload the PDF to save me talking more), but then I found that I was doing the complete opposite. Genuinely accidentally. I had played with a few typefaces from various websites to get fonts that represented the ideas I wanted. The top one was semi-stolen (I can’t use the word ‘inspired’ any more in this post) from the end credits of In The Heights. The larger font is something of a nod to inspirational quotes you see on Facebook or on glittery frames in B&M.

I printed those out and cut them into stencils (very impressed that my digital boards have been drawn to a workable scale, thanks Maths). And after putting down a tack-layer (GRAFFITI JARGON (I think)) I sprayed the whole lot in blue.

Next, I tried to get a little fancy. Using cardboard blockers to create straight lines I added stars* (borrowed from the Puerto Rican flag) and made the bottom stripes vaguely reminiscent of America’s Old Glory.

I peeled the lettering off, and I’d done it. I may have to explain the overtly-negative inspirational quote to people, but to me it’s a clear sign that there’s no point in just being inspired, and that’s all I wanted.

A weight I didn’t know I was carrying was lifted from my shoulders. The plan was to possibly end up with a self-designed skateboard. And now I have one.

*Yes, I know they’re crosses.

#pp_hncgd1 #allhandsondecks #skateboard

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mercury-minded · 5 years

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What’s in Store for You in August 2019? Pick-A-Card 🔮✨

Curious about what the month of August has in mind for you? Using your intuition, pick a card (left to right: 1, 2, 3, 4) and see what energy is around you this month! I created this reading guided by the angel number 456, which can mean staying true to yourself and your values - I hope that number can connect with you as well!

Group 1

Wow, change is the name of the game for this group in August! This month, you may have one door closing for you, but more impactful ones are opening up! What you’ve been working for is finally going to be coming forth, and I see you stepping into your individuality and embracing your path. If you’ve been feeling stuck in a rut, expect some excitement to bring you out of that! There’s new love coming your way, and whether it’s romantic or platonic or a breath of fresh air in your current relationship, there’s a lot of enthusiasm surrounding this new connection. The message here is to jump in! Expect the unexpected but know that whatever comes your way is for your greater good. For some in this group - you may be preparing for some sort of travel. You may be moving for school or work or even a vacation. I also want to point out that there’s a very humanitarian energy to this group, and some of you may really be tapping into that for August! Sticking up for the underdog, speaking out against injustices, and just helping to bring awareness to those around you. I’m also sensing for some in this group a need to release control. For those of you made uneasy by change, this month may be a bit of a ride for you and you may try to cling to what you know…but you need to learn how to let that fall away, because deep down, don’t you want this change? This is a period of metamorphosis into something better for you.

Group 2

For this group, August is going to make you confront the shadow-y aspects of yourselves. Recognizing and working through these traits is setting you up for greater self-love and understanding. It’s like you often doubt yourself, your talents, and what you’re truly capable of. Some of you may also hold onto mistakes you’ve made in the past, unable to forgive yourself and move on. Any negative feelings you’ve been keeping pent up need to be addressed and released. Deeper healing can come in August if you can forgive the hurt that others have inflicted on you, and also hold yourself accountable and be sure you’re not causing pain to others either. The message here is to avoid dwelling on the past and things you can no longer change. Spend this month working on things in the present that can help shape your future. Another thing I’m picking up is that some of you may have a fear or hesitancy towards pursuing your passion, when you should be honoring it! Have the courage and determination to go after what calls to you and to see it through. For this group, there is so much inner strength and it’s about time you’ve recognized it - have the confidence to say what needs to be said, do what needs done, and to keep an open heart. A final message for this group is to not limit yourself - if something this month seems too good to be true, don’t write it off right away…have a little faith and see where it leads you.

Group 3

August for this group is all about action! Being bold, coming out of your shell, and making moves. Some of you may have been feeling called towards something lately, like you’ve found your purpose or calling and Spirit agrees with you! You’re going to be making huge strides this month towards achieving those goals, just try not to become discouraged or overwhelmed, because at times - it probably will feel like a lot. This will be a month of undergoing what comes next: if you’ve been stuck, things are gonna get moving; if you’ve felt held back, expect a push forward; if you’ve been drowning in emotions, sunnier days are coming; there’s a lot of potential here for this group! Another thing I’m sensing here is such a fun, flirty energy. If you’ve been crushing from afar, I’d expect someone (particularly you!) to step up and make a move! For others, this may mean going out on dates, or even reaffirming your love by doing sweet little actions (buying flowers, acts of service, etc) for each other. August may have you feeling very sentimental and just emotionally bonded with your loved ones. There’s a lot of self-awareness that I’m picking up from some in this group as well - and that goes along really well with the motivation to pursue your calling that August will provide for this group. Prepare to connect heavily with your inner voice, and be receptive to what lessons get thrown your way. It really seems like they’ll be centered around reaching out, and seeking and nurturing those deeper connections with those close to you.

Group 4

Wow the creative juices are flowing for this group in August! Immediately I sense this desire to break out, to go new places, try new things, and meet new people. There is so much optimism and good fortune here, you’ll be in a positive mindset that allows you to open up and enjoy new experiences, as well as attract them to you! My only warning with this is to remember not to indulge too much - a great example would be those of you heading off to college…don’t get so caught up in the social scene that you shirk on your responsibilities! For those that have been in a bit of a slump, this month comes with the reminder that just because things aren’t working out now doesn’t mean they’ll always be like that. Stay committed to your goals and aspirations and allow the positivity of this month to re-inspire you! Another thing coming through to me here is that there’s a very powerful connection being created in August. This can be romantic or platonic, but I’d expect it to be a long-lasting relationship that takes you both by storm. This will be a significant bond that has roots in past-life connections. You’ll bring a lot of happiness and a sense of really been “seen” to one another. A really important theme of this month is just embracing and following your curiosity - there’s going to be so many new opportunities presenting themselves to you, and you just have to have the bravery to step out and experience them. This is a period of learning for you, as this month helps to shape new perspectives and expand your horizons!

Thank you so much for letting me read for you! Please keep in mind this is a very broad and general reading - so not all aspects may resonate with you. If you’d like a personalized spread, my tarot services can be found here xx

If you’d like to support me and what I do, please consider buying me a coffee ☕️💕

#mine #pick-a-card #tarot #oracle #divination #witch #witchblr #reading #free reading #august 2019 #astrology #crystals #angel numbers

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thefallenofbajhiri · 5 years

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Never Ending Survey: Toshi

Rules: Repost, do not reblog. Tag 10 blogs!

Tagged by: @gildedandgolden

tagging: Everyone I wanted to tag was already tagged but I shall throw in a few peeps AKA @benes-diction @theaetherhealerffxiv and @talechaser-ffxiv <3

basics.

FULL NAME: Toshinaku ‘Bajhiri’ formerly known as Sozoh’a Bajhiri

NICKNAME: Toshi by just about everyone really, he prefers it to his full name most of the time.

AGE: Unknown, Looks to be in his Early to Mid Twenties. He is a voidsent after all, Age means nothing to him.

BIRTHDAY: 29th Sun of the 6th Astral Moon

ETHNIC GROUP: Au Ra (Cursed Form), Voidsent (True Form)

NATIONALITY: Former Memeber of the Bajhiri Clan

LANGUAGE/S: Eorzean Common, Huntspeak (Keeper and Seeker), Dravanian/Draconic, Ancient Allagan and Voidsent. Knows enough about other languages to manage.

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Homosexual

ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: Panromantic

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Not really interested, No one can sway/win him over

HOMETOWN / AREA: A dense forest found in the deepest parts of the North Shroud.

CURRENT HOME: Nomadic

PROFESSION: Master Alchemist and Engineer, takes up the study on Genetics and Genetic Altering (As well as a darker business in the background selling Fantasias). Entertainer and Belly Dancer in Ul’dah, offers his services as a male prostitute as well.

physical.

HAIR: Long and down to the top of his tail, Burgundy colored with purple tips, usually kept fairly decent.

EYES: Burgundy that matches the color of his hair but it is blocked out most of the time by the Lavender Limbal Rings.

FACE: Sharp but somewhat ‘soft’ looking, has a very young and youthful appearance

LIPS: Full, Plus, Silken Words

COMPLEXION: Pale, Greyish-Lavender skin with Opal-Moonstone Scales

BLEMISHES: Body looks to be in perfect condition with nothing staining it

SCARS: Pristine and almost unreal in appearance, whatever scars he might have heal quickly

TATTOOS: Numerous Tattoos that cover all of his form with the most notable being on his torso and back which cover the entire area.

HEIGHT: 8′9″ far taller than any normal Au Ra

WEIGHT: 290lbs.

BUILD: Muscular and very toned with legs that many dancers would be jealous of.

FEATURES: Golden Claws, Somewhat Dragon-like Feet, Adorned with Silks and Jewelry

ALLERGIES: While not allergic to it he is extremely sensitive to white, holy and light based magics and Aether.

USUAL HAIR STYLE: Long and left completely down most of the time, will sometimes tie his hair up into a high ponytail that cascades down to the middle of his back like a waterfall.

USUAL FACE LOOK: Coy, sometimes playful, teasing and flirty in some cases. When in hunt mode however he seems to have an almost smug and cunning look.

USUAL CLOTHING: Dancers clothing that is made out of long silks usually in Grape Purple, silks are transparent and show most/all of his skin. Wears a Kohakama to reveal as much skin as possible since he is an entertainer.

psychology.

FEAR/S: While he will never admit to them, Toshi has a fear of being alone though he has gotten far better with it obviously.

ASPIRATION/S: Breaking the seals on his body and earning his freedom once again.

POSITIVE TRAITS: Attractive, Observant, Playful and Resourceful

NEGATIVE TRAITS: Aggressive, Deceptive, Impatient and Obsessive

TEMPERAMENT: Generally Coy and Playful at the start but can quickly turn to wild and destructive.

SOUL TYPE/S: The Warrior

ANIMALS: Snakes, Serpents, Dogs, Wolves, Dragons.

VICE HABIT/S: Murdering People who Upset Him, Obsessively on the Hunt to break the Seals, Extreme Pride and Looks down on others, Constant Lies and Manipulation to get what he wants

FAITH: Formerly Menphina, the Lover (When he was Sozoh’a) now he follows no one.

GHOSTS?: He’s seen the souls of his deceased family... so yes.

AFTERLIFE?: He did destroy the souls of his family after killing them so... very much yes.

REINCARNATION?: Going through what he has, there is a small thought that it could be possible.

POLITICAL ALIGNMENT: Keeps well away from it.

EDUCATION LEVEL: Well Educated at the very least to get what he needs to get done. Basically he knows what to do in most situations to the best of his abiities.

family.

FATHER: Name Unknown, Keeper of the Moon possessed by a High Ranking Voidsent

MOTHER: Sozoh Bajhiri (Deceased, Keeper of the Moon)

SIBLINGS: Sizha (Eldest Sister), Rosah (Sister), Vekhe and Zahveh (Twins, Youngest Sisters) All Deceased

EXTENDED FAMILY: Una’to Bajhiri (Clan Branch, Relationship Unknown), Sebha’to Bajhiri (Clan Branch, Relationship Unknown). Various other Bajhiri Clan Branch members.

NAME MEANING/S: Bright (Toshi), potentially ‘Gift of the God’ for Naku.

HISTORICAL CONNECTION?: None...

favorites.

BOOK: Fictional, Fantasy, Horror, Mythology and some Folklore. Also anything regarding Ancient histories.

DEITY: Formerly Menphina, does not truly hold to any deities now however.

HOLIDAY: All Saints' Wake

MONTH: April

SEASON: Fall

PLACE: The Alchemists Guild

WEATHER: Heavy storms with intense thunder and lightning

SOUND / S: Boiling Water, Bubbling Potions, Wind Blowing and Rainfall

SCENT / S: Fresh Rain and Dew, Blood and the many scents of brewing potions.

TASTE / S: Savory and sometimes Sweet. Also has a fondness for Saltiness.

FEEL / S: Smooth Scales with Soft Skin, Silken Hair.

ANIMAL / S: A Beady Eye that he calls Kuso because it’s a piece of shit. It counts as an animal right?

NUMBER: 355

COLORS: Burgundy, Lavender, Grape Purple, Silver, Gold, Opal, Moonstone.

extra.

TALENTS: Potion Crafting, Tinkering/Engineering, Belly Dancing

BAD AT: Not Killing People, Controlling his Temper, Staying in his ‘Cursed’ Au Ra Form

TURN ONS: Gentle Caresses to his Scales, Touches to his tail specifically at the end, Roughly Grabbing at his Hips

TURN OFFS: It’s hard to say what would turn him off really...

HOBBIES: Murdering People is Fun, Seeking a way to break the seals on his body, Fantasia Crafting

TROPES: Dark is Evil, Always Chaotic Evil, Eldritch Abomination, Power of the Void, Demons Lords and Archdevils, Our Demons are Different, Sealed Evil in a Can and Unstoppable Rage

QUOTES: "Are you looking to strike a deal for a potion?” “I want to know where he is...” “I will find you little clan mate...”

mun questions.

Q1 : If you could write your character your way in their own movie, what would it be called, what style would it be filmed in, and what would it be about?

A1 : Pretty sure the movie would be called “From the Darkness” or “The Fallen of Bajhiri” since those are the big things I go with for Toshi. It would easily be a Horror film and it would likely be a trilogy where the first movie is about his past (When he was Sozoh’a) leading up to his transformation to Toshi, the second would be focused on him getting sealed away and his hunt to break the seals. Third is likely him either breaking the seals and getting his freedom or something... I dunno.

Q2 : What would their soundtrack/score sound like?

A2 : Mostly Horror Music and Themes, Likely Horror Video Game music such as things from Silent Hill.

Q3 : Why did you start writing this character?

A3 : Toshinaku was retired well after I created him, I had originally wanted to make him as a sort of adopted into the Miqo’te Clan type character and to RP someone with my good friend @skyysinger with Sebha’to. But I quickly tossed it out... and now that I’ve had a lot of fun RPing and talking with amazing people like @unatobajhiri and @nyrs-nook I got inspired to bring him back. I guess the big reason I wanted to start writing him is because I really wanted to write horror stories.

Q4 : What first attracted you to this character?

A4 : I have way too many muses and ideas at times though when I originally made Toshi again it was him being seen as an Adopted outsider into the Miqo’te Clan. After revising him and RPing with my friends I started to develop a greater lover for horror aspects and I wanted to play with something I never really delved that deep into before. I had done things with Dragons and Halfbreeds for various races but I never touched on any creatures from the Void.

Q5 : Describe the biggest thing you dislike about your muse.

A5 : I suppose if I had to pick something that I ‘dislike’ about Toshi is I guess that his content can be very... mature and 18+ themed which means that it’s not really suited for everyone. I do love the horror and body horror that I write for him but I know it’s not everyone’s cup of tea obviously. I am also always afraid of creating characters like this because of how people might take them (Him being a Voidsent, how he turned, things like that) and how people tend to be at times.

Q6 : What do you have in common with your muse?

A6 : Do... I share anything in common with this asshole? Honestly... I do not know and I’m almost terrified if I do have something in common with him...

Q7 : How does your muse feel about you?

A7 : I’m pretty sure Toshi hates me just for the simple fact that I keep throwing him into hell and putting him through a lot of pain and suffering because I find it so relaxing to write those body horror stories of his. I think he might want to tear me apart because of how many times I’ve had him just... well you know...

Q8 : What characters does your muse have interesting interactions with ?

A8 : When it comes down to it Toshi really finds most people he interacts with interesting... unless it’s @unatobajhiri‘s Una’to because then it’s just a game of how much can the Keeper annoy the shit out of him. He finds characters like @gildedandgolden‘s Aure very... curious because he is trying to learn why they are how they are. Any other characters he has interacted with were just NPCs for story purposes and he usually goes to characters so that he can try and achieve his goal.

Q9 : What gives you inspiration to write your muse ?

A9 : The biggest inspiration for me is just knowing that people enjoy seeing the things that I post about any of my characters. When people praise me I don’t know how to take it but that shows me that people are indeed interested in these characters and stories that I have to offer. It helps me fight the bad brain demons that I have where I’ll usually give up on a character entirely either because I feel that I am bothering and annoying people with that character or because I feel like I am wasting peoples time with them or it’s simply because I feel like no one will want to see the character. A lot of the times I feel my stuff is trash or garbage so knowing that people want to see more is always an inspiration to keep me writing.

Q10 : How long did this take you to complete ?

A10 : Hrmmmmm roughly an hour but I also had a cat get on my lap and in the way during the middle of this so... RIP

#{ Tags of the Void (Memes) }#{ Out for Chaos (OOC) }

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clairekatswritingcorner · 5 years

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Love You More

Word Count: 1,281

Summary: While spending a pleasant afternoon just enjoying each other’s company, Rhys takes it upon himself to remind D just how much he loves her.

*Author’s Note*: A commission for my good friend @robotarmjokes! Just some sweet fluff between her and her snarky cyborg boy, featuring a few prompts from this list. It was really nice to work with (as D’s ship always is) and I hope you enjoy!

“There’s no use hiding it, I know you love me.”

“Oh, whatever. Quit being so ridiculous.”

Well, Rhys wasn’t being the ridiculous one, at least not by his standards. But those standards didn’t always apply to his wife in the same way, the fiery information broker with a short fuse temper and an even shorter fuse when it came to being flustered. He considered that latter part to play into his favor more often than not, since there was almost nothing he loved more than bugging his partner to bits. Not to the point that it genuinely upset her, of course…at least he hoped not. Causing harm to her in any way was never his intent, and even if it only happened accidentally, he wanted to know about it in order to ensure that such a thing never happened again. D was pretty good about giving him a piece of her mind when he needed it, however, so he didn’t worry as much about whether or not he was crossing any lines as often as he used to.

“I’m not being ridiculous. You know it’s true,” the man cooed, nuzzling her ear with his nose. “You love me, and I love you just as much. I’d wager I love you even more.”

“Now you’re really speaking nonsense,” the broker uttered her words in admonishment, but she couldn’t help the shiver his seemingly innocent gesture sent zipping down her spine. “There’s no way you love me more than I love you. There’s no way you ever will.”

Oh, so this was turning into a battle of wills, was it? Who had the strength to overcome whom in their love; to both of them, it wasn’t even a question. But also, to both of them, the obvious answer was just themselves. Neither of them saw anything or anyone as a greater, more revered existence in their lives than one another. They each considered the other person to be their everything, their greatest treasure, and they’d seen one or two things that could definitely qualify as one of the objectively luckiest and most inspiring things one could ever discover. For them, their love was all they needed to be happy, or to have the most remarkable life possible. They also supposed that wasn’t so bad, because it meant that they already had the one thing they wanted most, and as far at they were concerned, they’d hold onto said thing for the rest of their lives.

“And how do you know that for sure?” He ran his fingers through her fringe of hot pink hair, respectful enough to try to avoid displacing her glasses in the process. “What kind of science or magic or higher power do you have some special access to that tells you without a doubt you love me more?”

“It’s just common sense.” He was being so irritating in that cocky, suave, attractive kind of way that she hated to love. But that was how she felt about all of him; well, for the most part. And that was the dilemma she struggled with a majority of the time. Her husband was the pinnacle of people to her, and also possibly the most infuriating, but maybe that was fair. It wouldn’t make sense for her to have it all without any setbacks. “If you think about the relationship, and all that’s happened to us, and how both of us are as people…that’s just how things come out. I’ll always love you more, no matter what, because the universe says so.”

“I’ve never been one to go by what the universe says.” He lowered his voice, idly brushing his hand against her arm or trailing it up to massage her neck and shoulders. She just kept getting pinker, which was an impressive phenomenon to him, but Rhys wanted to see how long it would take for that pink to transform into a stark, unmistakable red. “I am me, after all. I brought down the most nefarious company in this star system and raised the Atlas Corporation from its unsalvageable grave. There isn’t anything I can’t do, and that includes being able to give you all the love that exists in the universe, and more.”

“You can’t give me more than what the universe has,” she pointed out, unable to keep herself from laughing when he deviously and discreetly tickled her side. “Hey, stop that!”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I couldn’t help it.” He gave her a meek smile, but she knew he wasn’t sorry in the slightest. The look in his eyes was more than enough to tell her that. Her blush deepened and her heart sped up; she despised that he could affect her like this, and so easily. But her defenses towards him were practically nonexistent, and in the event that they did exist in some capacity, they were extremely ineffective.

“You know, I love the way you laugh, too.”

He just wouldn’t quit, would he? Couldn’t keep himself from piling on the compliments, the flirtation, the outrageously supportive, comforting, playful words? D wasn’t sure how she was going to survive this, but she asked herself that question every time they cuddled together in such a manner. When they drew each other close, near enough that she could hear his breathing and smell his hair and feel his hands and lips as they traced across her skin, she wondered how long it would take for her to pass out. But she wouldn’t trade these exasperating exchanges for anything. To be honest, she didn’t know what she’d do without them now that she knew what it was like to have them in the first place. In entering a relationship with her, he hadn’t just given her his love, but also enabled her to share in the experience of giving her love to someone else. The broker wondered if he truly understood just how much that meant to her.

"You’re really killing me here, I hope you know that,” D lamented, burying her face in her hands. Rhys smiled and kissed the back of them before guiding them out of the way.

“I don’t want to kill you, you can’t leave me like that. I don’t know what I’d do without you. But I also can’t keep myself from showering you with all the love and praise you deserve because, well, you deserve it. You deserve that and so much more, anything and everything I can offer you. I’ll do that, and I want to make the rest of your life the best it can possibly be. That’s part of why I married you, after all. I had to make sure someone was going to take care of you the right way. And after a little more thought, I realized it might as well just be me.”

She wanted to cry, and he kissed her forehead and both cheeks the moment he noticed. She was totally red now, which he considered a victory, but he also hoped she could sense the sincerity in his words. He needed her to know that he wasn’t joking around anymore, wasn’t playing the mischievous tease. Whenever he talked about his love for her, he meant every word; it was too serious a matter to make light of, especially in a negative way. Sure, they could argue about who truly loved whom more all day long, but the answer was irrelevant. They both loved each other with their whole beings, and that was all either of them needed to know. It was also one of the most important things they wanted to accomplish, and they were determined to do whatever it took to do so properly.

#self insert #selfinsert #self ship #selfship #oc x canon #self insert fic #self insert fanfiction #selfship fic #selfship fanfiction #self insert commissions #selfship commissions #my writing #claire writes #one shot #robotarmjokes #commission

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giogio-golden · 6 years

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an honest review of voltron (edited)

I know no one asked for it. I know I don’t have to write this. But I want to and I think I need to let out a lot of my feelings in order to feel some closure after the ending to a show that has had such an impact on my life. Prepare for a long post. These are my feelings and I’m open to conversation about this amazing show.

A Summary (in case you don’t wanna read the whole thing) This show has meant a lot to me. I’ve met friends through the fandom, been inspired by the characters and the story and found happiness in times when it felt hard to go on. I’ve never been so invested in a show the way I have with voltron, and even if the ending was a massive disappointment and there were many flaws, it will always have a place in my heart.

I’m gonna miss it

To start off, I’ll just say this review will have nothing to do with shipping or the fandom, because that’s a different rant that I think we’re all sick of hearing. The fandom had both a positive and negative impact on me, but I wanna focus on the show itself and not my opinions on ships or any of that. I will touch on ad@shi and a!lurance but in relation to the fact that both these ships were canon and in the show. This rant is mostly just me letting feelings out, but there will be criticism.

The Characters

Pidge Pidge was one of my favorite characters right from the beginning. I heard her voice for the first time and felt such a strange joy in my heart that I still can’t explain to this day. She was a character that I could relate to, even if I’m not nearly as smart as her. She’s tough and not traditionally feminine, which is so important to represent in a character. I will admit, her search for her family had me in tears, but I do think she deserved to be treated more like an adult who had gone through a traumatic experience of war. By the end of the show, she was around 17 or 18 (correct me if I’m wrong) after all the time skips, and had definitely matured greatly. The scenes where she gives up her video game for Allura and where she is able to see the history of the planet (I’m blanking on the name) were so amazing and made me so happy to see. Not to mention I have a bit of bias towards Bex, because I too am nonbinary as hell. Pidge has meant a lot to me as a character and I’m going to miss her after all this time.

Hunk Oh Hunkie how I adore you. Hunk has always been such an underappreciated character. He’s an engineer and a chef and a goofy scardey cat defying stereotypes of what it means to be “manly.” He’s also strong and tough, aside from all his fear. I wish we could’ve seen more of him, seen more growth, seen him rise and mature the same way the others did. Unfortunately, he was reduced to a bit of a comic-relief character, especially towards the end of the show. I love him all the same, he’s more like me than I care to admit, both of us being chubby and loving food and being scared easily. No one could ask for a better friend than Hunk

Keith It took me a while to warm up to Keith. He’s not the kind of character I usually fall in love with easily, but now he has my heart. Although he stole the spotlight of the show for a bit, his arc really was impactful. Keith went through a lot, finding his family and his self-worth. It was clear that it took a toll on him, but he was still able to be a leader and find compassion for his teammates. He’s shown the most growth throughout the series and it shows. Keith is a well-written character who deserved more love from everyone. Seeing him turn down being the leader of the galra in favor of forming a relief team from the blad was so incredible. Especially considering the fact that he let Lotor’s former generals join him. I wish the show had done more with a sort of “galra-form” Keith and delved more into the whole “not all galra are bad” trope. But overall, Keith has won me over Shiro Honestly, the show did not do great things for Takashi Shirogane. He’s amazing representation, being disabled, gay, and asian. He’s tough and strong and everyone fell in love with “space dad.” Though the show was going to kill him off and decided against it, probably because of his popularity in the fandom. Despite this, I wonder if there was more to him that wasn’t quite established because of this change in decision. I’ve always felt like there was something missing from Shiro (aside from his arm and mental stability), but I can never quite put a finger on it. I’ve always felt so attached to him, and seeing him rise up and survive through all the trauma to become captain of the atlas was so powerful. Especially with the implications of a name like atlas. His portrayal in terms of being a gay man was lackluster, especially in the last season where he barely had any lines that weren’t shouting orders (aside from the filler episodes). Shiro deserved better, he deserved to be a paladin for a lot longer, he deserved some closure, something more to show us all that our struggles and oppression do not define us. I’ll always love Shiro, no matter what his hair or his arm looks like, he means a lot to me.

Lance Lance, my sweet baby boy, my angel. I’m gonna admit I’m a bit biased, but Lance was also mistreated in the show. I’m not talking about being comic relief or getting “bullied” by the other characters. I’m talking about his ending. Lance started off as a cocky fighter pilot just wanting to rise to the top. His insecurities and sensitivity showed early, but he matured as time went on. He saved the lives of the other paladins numerous times, he served as moral support when Shiro went missing, he even learned to admit that he wasn’t quite as smart as Hunk or Pidge, and was not a prodigy like Keith. He had some great development. By the end of season 7, I was ready for him to get some well-needed love and support for all that he’s been through. I didn’t get that. I got a weird, stagnant version of Lance, serving mostly as support for Allura, who didn’t seem nearly as devoted to him as he was to her (but that rant will be later, stay tuned). I was especially with the scene when he was talking to Alfor. All the other og paladins had something nice to say, but Alfor only talking about Lance’s relationship with his daughter. His ending was frustrating, not seeing him flying with the MFE pilots or training a new generation of paladins. It was even a weird tease to see him holding the “LGBT” sign with Shiro and not have any interactions with them about that, while the other pairs all got some sort of plot around their signs. He was destined for greater things and I hope he gets them one day.

Lotor This poor man deserved so much better. I think we all agree that in the end, Lotor was portrayed as an abuse victim who lost to abuse and was considered evil for doing all he knew to do to survive. He was an amazing villain and a lovable character who even tricked the audience into seeing things in a certain light. His generals had amazing designs and they all had so much potential for so many different plotlines. But it didn’t end that way. Lotor succumbed to abuse and was always painted as evil and manipulative, even as a projection to trick Allura. The audience were the only ones who understood what he went through and although that had the potential for some good angst, it turned out to be glazed over in favor of many different angles. Lotor meant a lot to a lot of people, especially abuse victims who saw themselves in him. But it turns out that overcoming a situation like that isn’t possible even for someone as strong and determined and compassionate as Lotor. It was a shitty message to send to what is supposed to be a young audience.

Coran Now there’s not a lot I wanna say about Coran, mostly because I never felt attached to him. But through a conversation with a friend, I realized he should’ve been space dad from the beginning. He could’ve been the father character to all the paladins, could’ve been more that comic-relief, should’ve been given humanizing moments to grieve over his planet and even Allura. This man is so resilient and like a lot of these characters, shows that being a “man” is more than just being tough and strong and bruting, it’s about feeling love and being happy and spreading that love and happiness as much as possible

Allura Last but not least is Allura. Her death was devastating. Unfortunately I never really felt attached to her. Her character didn’t feel very developed. She learned to accept Keith and pilot blue, but the sacrifice she made, in the end, is one she would’ve made from episode 1. She’s always been tough and determined and passionate about her home and its history. I wanted to see her humanized more, just like Coran. I wanted to know more about her loving sparkly things and not understanding human things like cows and milkshakes. She had so much potential and it all felt wasted on a weird plot for revenge and anger and bitterness that was never really dissolved. She’s an amazingly designed character and a lot of people love her, I hate knowing that she was given the ending she was given.

Overall Negatives

Character Development The show was going so strong for a while. Every character was aging and growing and making progress. Then the last few seasons happened and suddenly the focus was on the war and action sequences and getting the plot over with. Many characters started to feel stale, their development stopping or becoming stagnant. Especially in the last season, it felt like a lot was not resolved in terms of how characters grew over the course of the show.

Character Interactions (This is not about ships or the fandom, it’s about canon interactions in the show. None of this is implying I wanted it to be endgame, that’s not what this is about)

Shiro/Keith Man, these two had so much potential. Keith loves Shiro in canon. He said so. Even if it’s a brotherly love, it was real and there and so powerful it brought Shiro back to life. Their bond was powerful and strong and inspired so many people watching, including me. All relationships are important, and seeing Keith mature and have someone believe in him was so meaningful to those who see themselves in him. Not only that, but Shiro had someone who believes in him too. After being left by his boyfriend and told his disease would kill him, Keith was still there, supporting him and ultimately keeping him alive. They’re such a good example of a healthy relationship, platonic or not. So what happened in season 8? I don’t have an answer. They barely interacted. When Keith was close to death Shiro acted like a soldier, not a friend. There was no closure with them, no expressions of how proud of each other they were, barely even a genuine interaction. It was very disappointing. I could go on about how angry this makes me but I still gotta lot to write about Lance/Allura Once again, so much good potential. These two could’ve developed so much more in their relationship. They had the potential to be cute and loving and strong leaders together. Not only was Allura killed off, but she was also written into Lance’s relationship with a strange lack of love for Lance. It felt one-sided and rushed. Lance’s maturity with handling the whole thing came out of nowhere and felt weird and forced. He wasn’t acting like his goofy self, which in turn can give off a message that he had to change and become more serious in order to gain her affections. Yet another bad message to send to a supposed young audience

Keith/Lance There was a lot going on between these two and a lot of good development. I loved their quiet personal moments in the last season, they were tender and personal and demonstrated the growth of both characters. But just like Keith and Shiro, there was something missing in their ending. No closure. They never seemed to interact aside from these more intimate moments in this season, with Lance’s focus being on Allura and Keith being mainly a leader of voltron. All The Paladins One of this show’s strong suits was the interaction between a found family. Especially this season, it felt lackluster. It felt like characters were being shoved aside for the sake of more plot and story and Allura’s whole arc. Not only that but in the end, they weren’t a family anymore. They went separate ways, Lance mourning Allura’s death, Keith going off to be a lone wolf in the blade, etc. It was all a bit disappointing, especially for someone like me who knows what it’s like to find a family outside of blood. It’s not easy to separate like that. The Portrayal of the Effects of War A lot of my frustration with characters and interaction and the ending of the show was how it lacked a reflection of how war affects people. The paladins were an obvious example of young people being forced into a place where war is rampant and their trauma should have been made more clear! Lance’s ending would’ve made more sense if they talked about the war affecting him and needing to just be with his family and away from the fight. The weird character development could’ve included that they all have some bits of PTSD and permanent damage due to all they’ve been through, especially considering how young they are. Nothing felt resolved or had an impact in the ways it could have. The show was doing so well with portraying Shiro’s PTSD and pain and then flushed it all away, once again to hurry along a rushed plot. It makes me so upset as a writer and a lover of the show to see such potential themes done away with.

Honerva and The Finale This show has some amazing villains. People love the galra and Lotor and his generals and Honerva and even Zarkon. They had such good potential and learning about their past was emotional and impactful. But there was no resolution. Exploring Honerva’s mind and the other dimensions/realms of the universe were overwhelming and confusing and didn’t leave much room for development. There was potential in having Lotor be resurrected. He could’ve shown Honerva that you can’t bring back the dead and that abusers don’t get to have their victims given back to them. He could’ve proven to the paladins that being a victim doesn’t mean you will lose to your abuser. He could’ve provided a catalyst for Allura to learn to forgive and understand instead of acting out of anger and bitterness without listening to the full story. He could’ve provided room for Lance to find some self-love and even a chance for Shiro to overcome his own demons. There was so much potential in having him return and still have Honerva be a redeemable character who found family the same way the paladins did. The finale could’ve been so much more. Lotor could’ve been so much more. But he was reduced to a corpse and Honerva lost the potential of being the best villain in the show.

Overall Positives

The Characters I already went in depth on a few characters specifically, but their designs both visually and personality-wise were amazing. Many people connected to each paladin, even more than one. We loved watching them grow, we love their voice actors, we love our own found family within such an amazing story.

The Staff Through thick and thin the cast and team of Voltron have been amazing. There will always be slip-ups and hard patches but they have done such an amazing job supporting the fans and fighting through the drama. All these people are so amazing and kind and I hope to see more of their work in the future.

The Galra and Other Aliens Like I said before, people love the galra. They love their designs, their story, their potential. The galra are cool villains that provide a lot of fun to the story and the fan content that comes out of it. All the alien designs were fun to play with, even Slav and bi boh bee. These side characters are creative and made the world feel even bigger.

The Animation Not only were the character designs visually appealing, but the animation itself improved so much over the course of the show. Characters visually aged, the shots of space became more detailed and beautiful, it was all so impressive. Voltron has one of my favorite animation styles I’ve ever seen.

The Filler Episodes Many people hate these episodes but darn it I love them. They were fun and light-hearted and dove into fun situations we all love to see our characters in. The fair, Kinkade’s camera, the D&D episode, the game show episode. They all made us laugh and remember why we love these characters and why we want them to succeed, while also making them more real and tangible.

The Representation This may be a controversial opinion, but the representation in this show is fantastic. 4 out of 5 paladins are people of color. Allura is a poc. Many side characters are of varying races. Even if we didn’t get perfect LGBT rep, we got some well-needed diversity in cartoons. Although I cannot speak to any inaccuracies or stereotypes people of color feel might’ve played a part, I can speak to the importance of having many different races on screen for all to see.

Show-Stopping Moments While the fandom was good at predicting a lot of plot points, the show was still able to leave us all stunned and speechless. We all have certain moments that made us sob, broke our hearts, gave us chills. From Keith’s blade trials, Zarkon’s death, Shiro’s disappearance and journey home, Keith’s fight with Shiro’s clone, Narti’s death, the reveal of the og paladin’s backstories, Lotor’s betrayal, Shiro transforming the atlas, and so many more, there are so many scenes that shook us to the core.

#voltron #voltron season 8 #review #voltron review #vld 8 #softie speaks

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clonerightsagenda · 7 years

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Oh, when u have the finger energy for it, calliope VS skaia-muse-Callie VS alpha-lord-Caliborn VS directors’ cut alt!caliborn dvd commentary discussion sometime?

I am dictating this entire DVD commentary. We are going to see how that goes. To prevent the computer from getting upset at me for weird words, I am giving all the characters code names. So let’s talk about the adventures of Carl and Cindy, and I will use find replace later.

Calliope ends up being more of a McGuffin than a character in canon. Sure, she’s nice and sweet and provides a lot of the exposition near the beginning of Act six, but after that she is mostly something to rescue. Once she is rescued, she doesn’t do much in the story. I know there is something said within canon about not having to do anything to be worth saving or worthwhile as a person, and that IS important! However, I also thought that after being victimized by her brother, she should be allowed to play some part in taking him down. She has stakes! More than Vriska, for sure. We haven’t gotten there yet, but you may recall her being told she will have to help defeat him in the end. Something to look forward to. Calliope also ends up being very sweet and good, which she is. However, she does have some faults, the biggest of which is that she admits a few times that she sometimes views her friends as characters. Those faults are shown most dramatically in her other self, but she does get snappy toward Alt Caliborn in the director’s cut portions. A lot of her development, which you haven’t seen much of yet, is going to involve learning from the mistakes of her other itself.

That seems like a good transition. Alt Calliope isn’t exactly a villain in this story, but she is an antagonist. She doesn’t have negative intentions. In fact, her concern is the perpetuation of reality. However, she is most interested in defeating her brother, because she sees him as a dangerous instability against good order. The little people don’t matter so much. Now, I actually thought canon would establish that she was behind the game. So much of the comic is about things that seemed mysterious or eternal (the demon, the universe, the Green Sun) secretly having an origin. After all, the whole thing is a creation myth. So when I started writing this, I honestly thought it would be stated in Homestuck proper that she was behind the game. That did not happen, but that is what I went with. So in our version, she used her powers to inspire the game, and the consciousness behind it. She is the value system behind Skaia.

And that is where we get into Calliope’s faults. Because Calliope, watching from a distance, was tempted to see her friends as characters. This version has never interacted with people directly. She had only herself, her thoughts, and what she could see. It was easy for her to dehumanize them. They are the pawns on the chessboard of the game she is playing with her brother, and she will move them and sacrifice them in whatever ways she thinks will lead to the greater good. Which is not so great if you are one of those pawns. I have gotten into my issues with Skaia before, so I will just link you over if you want to look at them. But she is definitely a lesson in what not to do, and how space can become just as terrible as time.

So let’s move on to her adversary. Lord English is not really a person anymore. He is actually several technically, but all of them have degraded into a cosmic force. If Alt Calliope is a creation at the expense of individuals, Lord English is destruction at the whim of one individual. He’s searching for his sister to consolidate his power, but he also just likes wrecking stuff. Much as Calliope is behind Skaia, one oppressive force, LE is behind the alpha timeline. Both constrain the possible actions of the other characters, punishing them for any divergence. Anyone who writes a different story than the privileged alpha is doomed and killed. (I talked a fair bit about the tyranny of the author here.) I’m not sure this is even what Caliborn wanted really. Yes, it is a final manifestation of his self absorption and determination, but at the cost of his own personality. I kind of see both of these “fully realized” master Classes as a sign that too much of your role can overcome you. They are pure time and space in the worst ways possible. Overly clinical, heartless creation and overly aimless, heartless destruction.

Speaking of how Caliborn wouldn’t like it, enter Alt Caliborn. I didn’t want to do some pat ‘he becomes pure good’ thing. He’s still a deck. Man, it really doesn’t want me to swear. Anyway, he is still a jerk. That is just his personality. However, I find strict binaries too simplistic. Saying every type of this species is 100% evil all of the time is dumb. So yes, he is still spiteful and rude. If he was given the opportunity to sell his sister out to his own advantage, he totally would. However, he is not mindlessly destructive. He sees that cooperating is advantageous. Also, this gave me a chance to highlight some character traits that disappeared later in the story as he was absorbed into the final boss. He is insecure, has trouble learning, and sometimes feels abandoned. All those come out much more clearly in this version. Is he a good person? No. But I didn’t feel like one note villains, and since Lord English kind of is inevitably one note by virtue of being a force of nature, I decided to flesh this one out instead.

In conclusion, I'm not wild about pure good or pure evil. The cherubs’ “realized” selves demonstrate how too much conviction to any ideal can become horrible and oppressive to those living in the world you are trying to create. No one person should be allowed to determine everyone's narratives. That is the danger of the master classes I think, and perhaps why their species was never supposed to play this game. It is a lesson Calliope will take to heart.

#dvd commentary #tlcstuck

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glapplebloom · 6 years

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I expected DBX Season 2 to be done by now, but to my surprise its still going on. So for fun, I decided to share with you 10 Death Battles I hope we do.

For starters, obvious ones like Darkseid Vs Thanos, Galactus Vs Unicron, matches like those are off the table. Obviously everyone wants them but my list here will be matches you probably never heard of one or both competitors.

The Angry Video Game Nerd Vs “Captain N” Kevin Keene

Both are masters at video games. While one lives out their dreams of being in their favorite video games, the other lives a nightmare having to play the worse games out there. One see only positive things while the others see the negatives. And both have a relationship with The Adventures of Bayou Billy. I honestly like this idea more than Nerd Vs Critic since, well, we’ve seen Nerd Vs Critic before. And nothing will top their final battle.

“Captain S” Chad Belmont Vs “Captain SNES” Alex Williams

The Console Wars continues as the Champions of the Genesis (Mega Drive) and the SNES (Super Famicon) battle it out to determine which system was the best. Captain S is a combination of Captain N with Save by the Bell that had 10 Episodes, a crossover with the Nerd, and a continuation in comic format. Captain SNES is a Sprite Comic continuation of Captain N, taking it in directions the original never did. Considering one is crude while the other was shocked to hear such a colorful word, it would be a fun fight to see.

Red Vs Henry Stickmin

Spoiler, but next week will include a top 10 of inspired Death Battles and one of them is of this match. Red is frikkin insane when it comes to what he is capable of while Henry has done some impressive things 1/4 of the time and hilarious things the rest. This just was a fun one to see those people do and one I think would be fun to see done by Death Battle legit.

Sans Vs Kid Radd

Some of the matches I’ve seen done with Sans really makes me question how they think of things. But ultimately, Sans is a person who just so happens to know how his game mechanics work and knows how to make it work for him. So the best person I think would do the job is someone who also has to work within his game mechanics. And there is a lot of interesting questions Kid Radd brought up that Undertale also addresses.

John Kramer Vs Fred Jones

Both are people who are obsessed with traps for the greater good. While one creates traps to teach people a lesson, the other creates traps to capture those who do crimes. This idea was inspired by a Scooby Doo: Mystery Incorporated episode known as “Escape from Mystery Manor” where Fred and the gang are placed in Saw like traps.

Revolver Ocelot Vs Rushuna Tendō

Metal Gear is one of the few franchises in Death Battle that has appeared in more than one match but never defeated. Even considering DBX, Metal Gear has yet to face a defeat. Rushuna is basically, as a reviewer has said, “Vash the Stampede with Boobs”. With how far-fetched MG has gotten, might as well pit them against an Anime Character and see if they can push their luck.

Space Dandy Vs Star Lord

With the movie version of Guardians of the Galaxy, personality wise these two are pretty close. But if you haven’t seen what these two can do you’ll have your mind blown with some of the stuff they were involved in. And honestly, with their personalities in mind this would be a fun match when it comes to dialogue.

Spike Spiegel Vs Revy

The most serious match when it comes to research and story. These two are impressive gunmen for their respected series. Seeing these two go in a gunfight would be brilliant to see.

Lucy Vs Shiro

From most serious when it comes one thing to a more serious match up when it comes to content. Two sweet innocent girls that hide underneath something horrifying. This would be the most bloody Death Battle of them all as even the research part will contain more blood than even the bloodiest of Death Battles.

Toejam Vs PaRappa the Rapper

To end this list is the longest of long shots. A Death Battle request I doubt will be exactly how I want it. It would be a researched battle between these two rapping entities. But before the fight begins, it turns into a crossover with Epic Rap Battles of History as the two rap it out. The loser gets shot by Boomstick as we find out why the winner would win. That is how I would love this battle to go if it ever does happen, which I doubt.

#mod post #other

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cogentranting · 7 years

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I can't help but draw some similarities bet daredevil and arrow in terms of how they present first love. Arrow had L/O which was mostly on the past and toxic. Couldn't it be said for Matt and Electra? In 1 episode we saw their relationship develop and crash but it was all in the past. Matt just needed closure like oliver in 5:08. Am I the only one obsessed and seeing parallels bwt arrow and daredevil? Who do u ship matt with? Karen, Electra or Claire? How do u compare their dynamics?

Careful, throwing Daredevil and Arrow at me in one ask, I’m liable to write a book.

I think there is a lot of difference between the two ships. Matt and Elektra, pretty much all the negative stems from Elektra alone. Whereas with L/O, you have significant problems on both sides, with the (by far) biggest one being on the part of Oliver. Arrow seems to have much more of a ‘had their chance and messed it up irrevocably’ vibe, while Daredevil seems to me to be more ‘inherently doomed by nature of who they are’. At the same time, I feel like Matt and Elektra have a much stronger connection. They are two people who understand each other and believe in each other in a way that no one else can really match. It’s more of a matter of that not being enough to counteract the way they feed into each other’s destructiveness- so they have this deep passionate love for each other, but it can only ever end with an argument over a knife, or shot full of arrows on a rooftop. They’ll always be torn apart because they believe such different things, or be destroyed together. Oliver and Laurel on the other hand, don’t have that level of connection. They’re two people whose lives have been intertwined and who care a lot about each other but who have never found a way to actually be a unit. And I feel like situation defines them a lot more than Matt and Elektra.

There is that similar note of the past love that ended in some form of lies and betrayal. And those experiences shape the character and eventually it seems to lead to a more healthy love. So I think both have shows have some idea of there being relationships that drag you down and you grow past them and find a love that lifts you up. But they play with it in different ways.

As far as the idea of closure, I’m first gonna have to challenge your ideas about Arrow. I think for Oliver it was less about closure, and more about the idea that both Oliver and Laurel were, to some extent, in love with an idea of the other person. They always imagined the other would be the love of their life. And I think they sort of demanded that ideal from each other, and neither was ever gonna be able to realize that, and so, post-island, the relationship was never fully going to end until that idealization was shattered. I would argue that for Oliver that moment- that closure, if you will- came mid season 2. I don’t think any moment after that between the two of them is romantic for Oliver after the argument outside Laurel’s apartment. I would argue that 5x08 is more about Oliver getting closure for his guilt relating to how he treated Laurel and how she died. Not their relationship itself.

For Matt and Elektra, I think the connection is a little more transcendent. Because there is that unique connection on a base level of their identities, I think that as long as Elektra is around, Matt will go back to her. And no amount of closure will ever change that. It’s still a doomed romance every time it happens but Matt will choose it every time. Partly because of his martyr complex. And partly because he truly loves her, and she loves him more than she is capable of loving anyone else. [Defenders spoilers]] However, I think in terms of letting her go in the face of death, it’s possible that Matt just needed greater closure there. On the rooftop, he felt like they could have had a life together and he didn’t do enough to try to protect that. In the cave, he had a better realization that choosing Elektra meant choosing destruction and he embraced that. If she IS dead ( I think she is) then I think he’ll be able to move on this time because he feels he gave everything to loving Elektra in that moment and there could have been no other end. [[ End Defenders spoilers]]

And no you are not the only one obsessed with Daredevil/Arrow parallels. I am right there with you.

Daredevil ships. I kind of ship all of them. Kind of ship none of them. Depends on how you define ‘ship’. I am totally okay with any relationship outcome. Elektra, Karen, or Claire. or Jessica. And I enjoy any and all of them when they’re ongoing.

Matt and Elektra are basically the song Red from Taylor Swift. They love each other very very deeply, very very passionately. And one way or the other it is always always going to end badly. Because I think they are simply too different in their beliefs to ever coexist peacefully. In times of war, they will be unstoppable together. And if they don’t die there, they’ll self-destruct in times of peace. I think Elektra means something to Matt that no one else will ever be. Not that he necessarily loves her more, but that he loves her in a very special way. But I also don’t think Elektra will ever change, and I think she loves the parts of Matt that are Daredevil- not that she loves the persona (in the Mary Jane loves Spiderman, has a crush on the public figure type of way) but that she understands and is drawn to the specific parts of Matt’s character that caused him to create Daredevil. And because those are the parts she loves, when he’s with her those parts are taken out of proportion and allowed to dominate.

Matt and Karen are a little hard to pin down because most of their interactions are tinted by the amount they don’t know about each other. we haven’t seen them really with each other since she found out his secret, and he doesn’t know her past, about shooting Westley, or a lot of what went on with her and Punisher. As is, my tendency is to see this relationship as the opposite of Matt and Elektra. Karen loves Matt Murdock, but the more his Daredevil traits come to the forefront, the more she clashes with him. Karen brings out the softness in Matt. She encourages him to see the beauty in the city. She reaches out and offers comfort when Matt is hurting. She pushes him to strengthen his relationships. She paints pictures for him with her words and urges him towards belief and trust. But she also tries to pull him away from Daredevil- again, not the persona as much as the traits that inspire it. Part of her rebels against that protectiveness from Matt, that temper. In Defenders, she is actively trying to get him to give up Daredevil and seems to think his life is better when he denies that side of him and it’s a big moment for Matt when he claims Daredevil as a part of himself. There seems to be a lack of trust, as well. She lies to him, she won’t open up, and to a certain degree I don’t think she believes that he’ll make the right choice. And a large part of her resistance to Daredevil is fear for Matt’s safety, but I think she doesn’t yet realize how essential it is to his identity. However, with this relationship, I don’t see it as doomed like Matt and Elektra are. I think all of this is just growth that has to happen. And, admittedly, Karen’s exposure to Daredevil happened in large part during a time when Elektra was emphasizing some of the most destructive elements of it so Karen had good reason to be wary of it. And there’s just something so sweet and innocent about the way Matt and Karen interact when they’re together, despite their individual darkness.

Matt and Claire. Here my tendency is to put Claire as the middle ground between Karen and Elektra. She meets Matt first as the Matt side of Daredevil, which I think gives her a really unique side of him. She seems him kind of vulnerable and open to analysis. And I think Claire, more than the other two, is able to understand where Matt’s at. She sees the vigilante and the man simultaneously. She seems to understand why it’s important for him to be Daredevil- both from the perspective of the people he protects and from his emotional/psychological state. Claire also seems most capable of holding him accountable; she’s able to push back against his bullheadedness and call him out when he’s making a mistake. So she is a moral influence in a way that Elektra is not. She also can be a real partner to him, in a way that Karen doesn’t really have an avenue to be- Claire as the Night Nurse (type role) is a real part of Daredevil’s crusade. And so they both have sort of this superheroish role to play. Additionally, I think they both push each other with a reciprocity that isn’t always present in the other two- Claire holds Matt accountable and keeps him grounded, while Matt gifts Claire some of his idealism and pushes her to really participate in making change happen, where the other two range towards Karen makes Matt better and Matt makes Elektra better. Plus, Claire is really even-keeled which is good for someone as passionate and ready to fight as Matt is- both Karen and Elektra are more on the explosive/impulsive side with Matt. The thing is they don’t have that much actual content so a lot my assertions can be challenged because it’s extrapolation. And… they seem to have really walked away from each other, so it seems that they’re not nearly as committed to each other as either of the other two characters. Still, if I were writing things, I would have Claire, having embraced the superhero mindset through her time with Luke, and Matt, having found a little more balance in his life and a little more concern for his own well-being in the aftermath of Defenders, work their way back to each other.

And haha! a surprise fourth ship appears! Jessica and Matt. Now, thus far Jessica and Matt are completely platonic, and if I had to guess what’s going to happen in the end when all’s said and done, I think it will stay platonic and Jess and Luke will be together as in the comics. And I prefer that (I think). BUT. If they DID decide to make Jess and Matt romantic… it would be awesome as well. Because Matt and Jessica completely stole the show in the Defenders (as far as dynamics between the four are concerned). They instantly connected and seemed to fall into sync. They’re broken in similar ways and they have sort of these complementary approaches to life. They snark at each other and yet also get along really easily with a sort of natural ease to their communication. And Jess tries so hard not to care and then Matt comes along and aggressively cares about everything and ends up pulling her along for the ride. And Matt tries to fit into what people think he should be and Jessica shows up in open defiance of what everyone else thinks. And Matt won’t ever open up and let people in even though he wants to so he really needs someone like Jessica who is actually very good at understanding people and when she needs to get past Matt’s walls she just kind of… takes the doors of the hinges and is belligerently supportive. The intuitiveness with which they understood each other’s approach to heroism even though their approaches are so different. And they manage to inspire each other to be better without rejecting any part of the other and without making the other feel less worthy, but they DO make each other better. The amount they care about each other after only knowing each other for a few days. And the blue and red lighting look so good together. But yeah- obsessed with them platonically and would totally jump on board if the shows decided to make it romantic.

#daredevil #clairedevil #karedevil #mattelektra #jessmatt #arrow #askbox #matt murdock #defenders

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geek-ology-blog · 7 years

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Well it’s been quite the year and well all lot of bad things happened (for me most were very personal) there were good things. And when I say good things I mean good people. Scratch that amazing people! These people helped me get through the year so that I would see this new one (even if the year is already starting bad for me). And even though I may not know a lot of them personally I still want to personally thank each and everyone of them. (Also I can draw better than this sorry)

@srpelo - Thank you for making me laugh till my stomach began to hurt. Every “shitpost” be the best post. And I will never stop slamming my desk and saying “OH BOI” thanks to you.

UltimaAlmighty - The only reaction channel done right. You are a such a positive person in a negative world. When you smile I can’t help, but smile back. Your sincerity won’t go unnoticed. (I know you will probably never see this, but I couldn’t not include you.)

@vadeva - Thanks for being the British man of Starbot Dubs. Your voice is so much fun to listen to and makes me wish I had a low awesome voice too. I can’t wait to see what you and Stephanie do next! (I also really wanna see your audition video).

@rahafwabas - Thanks for filling my dash with angst! You are an amazing artist. You taught me how bad and angst life can be, but to every bad side there’s a good that’ll be worth the pain. (Also short people for life!)

@jakei95 - Thank you for your creativity! You are such a nice and beautiful person. (Sucks that I couldn’t draw you like that… I can draw better I swear!) Cross and Underverse is just too awesome not to love. You taught me that making something new out of other’s ideas and turning it into your own can lead to finding your own new thing! You have encouraged me to do a lot more with myself as well as my art.

@jokublog - Thank you for sharing your hopes and dreams! Every time I see a picture of Dream I always smile (same is for Nightmare, but it’s an evil smile). Your art is so beautiful with its colors and flow. And even when others put you down you scare them away by getting back up again doing what you love. (Also you and Jakei be adorable together)

@loverofpiggies - Thank you for your amazing comics and snazzy pink hair! I love Aftertale and Geno since I connected to him in a sad way that Geno actually felt to be a real “person”. You also taught me that even if you’re known for one thing it’s good to make your own thing. And that being Gloomverse. One of the greatest things I’ve ever read in the entirety of one night (I was that hooked). In fact it encouraged to to start my own comic and punch anxiety in the face!

@hawker-rawr - Thank you for making me laugh at a drunk man (and questioning what kind of drunk I’d be)! You are such a cool artist and I love your take on Chara and Asriel. I fell in love with them all over again. So excited to see whatever you do next. (StarHawk ftw)

@camilaart - Thank you for playing with my emotions! I love GlitchTale so far and am pumped to see what happens next. You are an amazing storyteller and an awesome nerd at heart. I so happy that everyone got together when things got tough. Me from being from a poor household myself I know what it’s like. May all good things come to you and your family. (I also just wanna point out that I totally called Betty, like I screamed at the school computer when Sans died like my gosh I hate-love her!)

@starbotdubs - Thank you for sharing your beautiful voice (and face). You are an amazing voice actress and introduced me into so many comics I’d come to love so much. I’m so excited to see what 2017 brings for your channel (especially you guys dining Gloomverse, like I screamed that my dog jumped 2 feet into the air I was so excited). May you, Vade, and your channel become greater than it already is. (DEUS VULT)

@popelickva and The Real-Time Fan Dub Cast - Thank you for making me giggle like a baby during class. Your gravity falls series and dubs never fail to make me smile. And even though I miss nearly every stream because of timezones, I can’t help but feel determined to try and watch it. (You guys also got me into Voltron and made me obsessed)

@manontheinternet - Thank you for the music! Music has always been apart of my life, especially musicals. I play a couple instruments and like to sing, but not a lot of people even know since I have a literal panic attack whenever I try Iin front of people. So turning a game I’m still obsessed with into a musical which I’m already obsessed with is amazing! Every singer/actor is superb and you feel what the character is feeling. I can’t help, but to always sing along. I’m stoked to have found you so that I may be able to listen to greatness. (Listening to you guys sing seem to always calm me down)

@nekophy - Thank you for being so adorable it’s adorable (which is weird to say since you’re older than me)! You may, if not are, the biggest Poth (and/or Geno x Reaper) shipper I have ever seen. Your art is so cute as well as your reactions to every piece of art you receive. You are a fantastic stick cat Miss Nekophy. And an awesome mother to a certain Goth. (Also tried to draw a kinda “human” you but looks bad so I’m sorry!)

@knittinggiantbeanies - Thank you for being a source of positivity! You as well as your following feel like a safe warm hug. You are so beautiful (much more than me by an immense amount because you’re so gorgeous). I’ve been here ever since Bill’s birthday video and am glad I stayed. You even introduced me to some of my now best friends in your Undertale stream. And I’ve never felt so close to those who are so far. I cannot thank you enough for that.

@chongoblog - Thank you for filling my dash in memes and references I still don’t understand! Never stop because you’re an All Star.

@superyoumna - You are a literal wizard with a mouse! You’ve showed me that even with limited resources you can still make something great (heck all I had to draw on was napkins and printer paper till this Christmas). Your art is almost as beautiful as you are. But your talent is so great I don’t think anything can compare. (I just now realized how many Undertale blogs I have on here)

@thatsthat24 - Thank you for being the king of 6 seconds. You spread positivity like a wildfire and smiles like a tsunami. You have an amazing voice and proved to all parents out there that watching cartoons is not only for kids, it’s for child-like adults as well. I love how you can turn my most depressing day just a little happier. (All the guys, gals, and non-binary pals love you bro)

The rest of these people are not in the drawing because I don’t know what they look like, forgot to add them, was lazy, or are personal friends:

@linnttop - You are an amazing artist and goofball. Im so happy I met you and that we made our friendship work despite the 11 hour time difference (Living on the other side of the world sucks man). But the fact you even tried to stay with me is truly inspiring. I shouldn’t even be worth your time, but you still do even if it’s short and sweet.

@straberrysoup aka Hotdogs - The oldest of the group yet you never act like it! She’s the yin to my orangutan. Your art is adorable as well as your face. I hope your glasses come in soon!

@mclov3ly101 - Such an amazing artist all around always getting better and better. No one in our group (or probably ever) will ship more people than you do. You have the look that turns girls lesbian and gay guys straighter than a stripping pole. I can’t wait to see what your Reaper comic has to offer. (Sportarobbie)

@chariskreplies aka Sans - Always in the shadows watching and sending things to the wrong chat. You’ll pop in and everyone’s happy when you do. Never stop punning EVER.

@shitpilot and every other Voltron blog I follow - Thank you for helping keep Voltron on my dash so that its not entirely Undertale and TF2.

@comyet - Thank you for creating my favorite Sans of all time! Ink is my spirit skeleton and I love it. Also your art is incredible! I would totally buy your stuff if I had the money. NEVER stop doing what you do because you’re just too awesome to stop now. ( I can’t wait till you come back from your hiatus.)

@kenzykills - The one always asking me to draw yaoi for her shrine. You are the pervert yaoi shipper we all know and love. Thanks for making Japanese and science more “interesting”. (Stop asking for smut)

@quelloz - Thank you for making sure I don’t get too out of control. You are beautiful and an awesome friend. And I won’t rest until I get you with your lady love! I’LL HIT HER SO HARD WITH YOUR LOVE SHE’LL NEVER SEE IT COMING! (Raquello Raphaelo Ze Bastard Ze III :) Elizabeth Gurrrrero)

There’s no way I can thank all of you enough.2016 wasn’t the best year for me. Due to anxiety, depression, numbness, and a family member rushing in and out of the hospital. I doubt myself a lot saying I’m not pretty or my art is trash when i should have more of a positive outlook on myself, but it’s hard to when your parents tell you stuff like that every day. If it weren’t for every single one of these amazing people I don’t think I’d be alive today. I may not know all of them personally, but without them even knowing they helped me a lot. Even some of my friends that I mentioned are so close to my heart, but so far away for a hug. I love each and everyone of you and am looking forward to everything you do from here. Not just because you’re all amazing and talented, but because you give me something to live for. Thank you.

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andersonguy-blog1 · 7 years

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Empowerment

A new year, a new me is an exemplary lack-lustrous goal, a goal with little-life in it because it’s aim is to continue to use the outer to complete the inner and in this particular case the outer is in the form of ‘time’. 'A new me’ is a big statement it’s nearly always inflated and elaborate, it doesn’t just hint at small improvements it implies a complete new person and life. The reason I say inflated is because in this context it involves becoming 'bigger and better’ not being humble, gentle, grateful, open, kind. The phrase at the start of this paragraph becomes even more clearly distorted when the idea of becoming 'a person of success with a successful life’ is going to be due to an ambiguous and unrelated cause - a change of date in the calendar. '2017 is going to be the year I make it’ is overlooking the simple truth that one has already made it. One is a perception that one has not yet found life and needs too and the other is knowing they are life itself.

Goals become empowered with divine inspiration when they serve universal intent. Essentially anything that helps us appreciate the fullness of life in the moment is the higher intelligence at work and anything that can help keep us in the dream state of separateness goes against it. Music that connects, ice cream that tastes soooo good, businesses that unexpectedly give back or surprise, inspirational stories, David Attenboroughs commentary and the production of planet earth and so on are things that humanity offer to enhance the moment of the now. Nature, the solar system, beautiful scenery, beautiful animals and the space that allows everything to exist are the greatest enhancements to the now though and they are created by the same intelligence that created us. We are one and whole with the source of all life, we are intrinsically connected to a higher intelligence greater than ourselves and we are here to serve it. We can’t serve it without serving each other so a goal that includes and not excludes, that serves 'we’ and not 'me’, that inspires others and a goal that resonates with the 'higher energy frequency that created all that is’ are the only goals that are free from polarity (turning off and on) because they both fulfil and create simultaneously. The most important aspect of a universally aligned goal is to honour every moment in time of creation/improvement/innovation. It’s important to know what direction your going in but it doesn’t need to be compulsively revisited in the mind, when every step of the way is appreciated and honoured then the goal is continually fulfilling in itself. When the now is priority and past/future are rarely visited then life is a celebration, the concept of failing is no more and instead joy and enthusiasm become the predominant states of being independent of results or anything else external. One simply enjoys every moment of creation not the thought of the fruits of it so a goal is just a lovely addition to continuing to revel in life’s 'now’, it doesn’t make life we are life but it can add to it beautifully.

The three best things I learnt in 2016 was what true love is, how destructive preaching can be and how to cease judging myself and others. I don’t mean all these things are permanent, they can all come and go still but I often taste 'the nectar’ their virtuosity provide. The best thing I have learnt is that I am not 'me’ I am 'we’ and I see the angel in everyone when I see my own. For some good time now I have spoken nothing but sweetness of others and when I do see the 'faults’ operating in them I nearly always speak of them peacefully, this has been perhaps the greatest achievement in my life. It’s a conscious choice that liberates because it goes against the conformity grain of social acceptability, I no longer follow so many thoughts that many others follow. It’s insane that true love isn’t usually socially acceptable, an example could be sitting next to a homeless person and spending time with him or her, maybe even eating dinner with them, something I’d love to do actually. (I wrote about it a few weeks ago and I am still yet to give gifts to the homeless because I reconsidered my idea about giving them books, I don’t think this is loving now, anyway il talk about this in a separate post). But yea many people won’t exactly embrace an act of kindness such as this, 'it’s too much’, and they will be uncomfortable with the idea, some may even think what the hell are you doing haha. Following one another or rather people acting like sheep is only people wanting to be around others who think and subsequently act the same as they do. There is comfort to be found in finding people who think-alike because loneliness is lifted 'oh, I’m not as separate as I thought’ - until another debilitating thought comes up. Destructive thoughts are allowed to roam free because so many are possessed by their mind, they value it higher than their inner beauty because they don’t yet know how it feels. Once they experience it though they won’t want anything else, nothing will or will want to be valued higher. Destructive thoughts create destructive effects and in the physical realm the effects can’t alleviate until the cause is resolved. Rather than being possessed by mind one can be possessed by God (or possessed by love if you don’t connect with the word God). I spend more of my life free of being comforted by thoughts and burdened by them too, and the best thing about it is it’s a gift available to anyone. The overcoming the preaching bit has taken the most time to see-through. The definition of preaching is 'to publicly proclaim or teach (a religious message or belief) or to sincerely advocate (a belief or course of action).’ So the definition of preaching is rather beautiful and peaceful but the word has got a heavy connotation to it. That’s because most preaching isn’t so accepting, it could otherwise be known as forceful-preaching and I used to do it much more often, i bought up spirituality and the idea of it to my friends and family in conversation without them showing interest. If you have found yourself preaching and you find it hard to stop it’s certainly something you will do less of the more you become aware of the mechanism behind it. And the driving force is usually 'look what I know that you don’t yet, look how great I am’. Because I haven’t had a big ego for sometime now I have never lived so gracefully, because it operates in me less I don’t feel so much pain. I do still feel pain but it becomes more obvious how diminished it is when things happen that would usually really pain me don’t anymore. So instead when I feel any thing unsettling I go straight to the 'problem’ in me not the problem I perceive caused it outside of me, which never really does it’s always me causing my own suffering. We all create our own pain and the more we believe someone or something else did or does the more intense we feel it and the longer its vibrational frequency operates. Whenever I may meet someone my upmost priority is to be free of suggesting she finds her radiant inner beauty in any situation by trying to tell her how too. Instead I want to watch what’s not beautiful in her like I do in me, i want to let it all go. I want to always be playful and light with her which may seem impossible but it’s kind of fun to do the impossible as Walt Disney said or at least aim for it. Although I may know that she has not yet seen how powerful she is it takes great power to let her be as she is anyway, the more she is celebrated for who she is in the moment no matter how hateful or judgemental she may be being the more love flows through the cracks. Suggesting that there is euphoria to be experienced is lovely but not so lovely when you suggest how - which can only be by facing ones own negativity/problems/inner devil otherwise known as ego. The ego is on high alert to anything that may reduce and bring about its end so the 'thought’ of its destruction will make it stronger. This is why true love cannot be bestowed on another, it’s a delicate process becoming aware that one has an entity in them that is self destructive. And it’s even more delicate to realise the entity is so prominent it’s pretending to be who one thinks they already are nearly all the time. 'You have an entity in you that is inhabiting your life greatly and also your not conscious of it either, you don’t even know you think it’s you’ are words if uttered to another become just as insane as the ego itself. Expressed in this way makes the insanity more obvious, maybe it will help you too if you have ever found yourself trying to change another because you are absolute certain it’s for 'their own benefit’, maybe reading what I wrote is as clear to you too just how insane it can be (and negative) to say such elaborate words to try and help someone realise their own love, beauty, life essence. No matter how good and noble it may feel to want to try and help save someone it is incomparable to loving them just as they are. The secret to experiencing euphoria is to see the ego in them just like you do in you but let it happen, let it continue to operate in them and love them. Your love is likely to hurt him or her when they can’t yet reciprocate your trueness by them feeling bad/guilty but their opposition to true love is their ego and we are powerless to stopping this for them. But we can be exceptional by accepting them in their entirety and when we can’t we can see what in us in not accepting, not what they need to do differently.

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the-record-columns · 6 years

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August 29, 2018: Columns

Still more from the Wilkes Antique Roadshow…

A jug from Riverside Manufacturing Company along with the IRS record book, which dates back to the 1890’s.

By KEN WELBORN

Record Publisher

After attending this past Saturday’s Wilkes Antique Roadshow, which was a fundraiser for Friends of the Library, one of the items particularly stuck in my mind. It was a jug from the Yadkin Valley Distilling Company from down in northwest Forsyth County, brought in my Bill and Linda Davis of Ronda.

The town listed on the jug was Donnaha. And, I remembered that in my collection, I also had a whiskey jug from a town that no longer seems to exist – Shore, N.C. The name on this jug was Riverside Manufacturing Company.

Since one of the most often asked questions by visitors to the offices of The Record and Thursday Printing is “Where do you find all this stuff?” Well, I’ll just tell you about this one.

We live in a small town, folks know each other, and often I will write a column (like today) about the collection of things that have turned The Record into a poor man’s museum as well as an office. From there, the things just keep on coming in.

For example, a few years ago a Mr. Mark Goin from Yadkin County dropped by to see me. I had never met him, and I am not 100 percent sure what made him stop, but I think it was the displays in our front windows which do make the place look a whole lot more like and antique store than any kind of other business.

Well, suffice it to say I am truly glad he stopped, because he introduced me to the Riverside Manufacturing Company of Shore, N.C. First off, I asked about Shore, and he told me it was in Yadkin County but no longer existed as a town or anything.

He went on to say that there were a lot of people with the name of Shore, and he was related to them, but there was no more town. The other thing that made it interesting at this time is the recent resurgence of liquor distilleries in Wilkes County, three in fact, and all making moonshine to one extent or another.

Which brings us to the Riverside Manufacturing Company and the liquor jug on this page. The kiln fired glazed blue lettered jug reads “High Grade Whiskey House” and follows up with “Write for Confidential Price List." All this stuff is interesting to me, and I have seen an assortment of high priced ceramic jugs through the years, but never ended up buying one until the aforementioned Mr. Goin stopped by. What made Mr. Goin’s jug so special was the fact that he had the hard backed Storekeepers Record which had to be kept at the Distillery Warehouse from, you guessed it, the Department of Internal Revenue.

The instructions on the inside front cover of the ledger book go into minute detail, even covering how to document any "unusual loss of contents” in a barrel, and was datelined Washington, D. C., February 12, 1892. Entries by the Riverside Manufacturing Company began in 1893.

Apparently, the bookkeeper of record who looked after most of the information in the warehouse ledger was one E. D. C. Pope. In addition to all the details involved to get - what else - the tax paid, this old ledger is filled with the most strikingly beautiful flowing penmanship you have ever seen. There were a couple of other folks who prepared some of the ledger pages for customers, most notable among them a man named John Shore. One can only assume he was one of the principals in the company. Many things about the old jug and ledger book raise as many questions as they answer, and I truly want anyone who has any knowledge of the Riverside Manufacturing Company or the town of Shore to pass it on to me.

There is one thing, however, in the ledger book that seems to have left no doubt to any of the folks I have showed it to so far. It is under the heading “Kind of Spirits,” and, in the aforementioned beautiful handwritten flowing script, on every page of every customer are the same two letters, “CW.” So far all my outhouse experts have agreed that those initials just have to stand for "Corn Whiskey.“

So, there you go.

Gratitude

By LAURA WELBORN

Words of John McCain: “America has made a greater contribution than any other nation to an international order that has liberated more people from tyranny and poverty than ever before in history. We have been the greatest example, the greatest supporter, and the greatest defender of that order.”

He brought it home with the indomitable American spirit: “We aren’t afraid,” he said. “We don’t covet other people’s land and wealth. We don’t hide behind walls. We breach them. We are a blessing to humanity. What greater cause could we hope to serve than helping keep America the strong, aspiring, inspirational beacon of liberty and defender of the dignity of all human beings, and their right to freedom and equal justice?”

Watching so many clips on John McCain’s life left me in admiration to his attitude of gratitude for a “wonderful life.”

When watching the clips of his horrendous experience as a Vietnam POW, I though how amazing it is that someone tortured for years would say their life was wonderful. John McCain had such a great attitude even as he faced his impending death. I loved hearing him described as a maverick with courage to go up against others in his own opinion and yet he was able to maintain respect and friendship with those who did not agree with him. When I read this from my favorite blog I knew it described how John McCain lived his life.

“Finding sincere gratitude is much easier said than done in the hustle of life, especially when hard times hit. Most of the time we create tragedy in our lives out of fairly minor incidents. Something doesn’t go exactly as planned, but rather than learn from the experience, we get stressed.

Many of us have developed a subtle habit of complaining about life. We might not even notice how often we’re doing it, but every time we experience some tension in our lives (things not going exactly our way), we immediately feel bitterness. This bitterness is a form of complaining. Gratitude is the antidote. Each time you notice yourself feeling bitter, or complaining, notice that you have a story in your mind that’s causing you to feel the way you do. Notice that you’re letting this story about “how life should be” dominate you. Then, find a small way to be grateful instead. When life gives you every reason to be negative, think of one good reason to be positive.

The familiar faces, places, situations and obligations we rely on and interact with daily… they overwhelm us sometimes, especially when we’re taking them for granted. Have you ever noticed how the more familiar you become with an amazing situation or relationship in your life, the more you seem to take it for granted? And then, as it becomes more “expendable” in your subconscious mind, the more it seems to “overwhelm” you on busy days? You somehow grow to feel like this amazing thing is getting in your way, even though it isn’t.” (Marc and Angel Hack Life blog)

The bottom line is that we often take for granted the very things that most deserve our gratitude. So, challenge yourself to flip your perspective in moments of overwhelm, using a simple re-framing tool saying “… AND IT’S GOOD!” is a phrase that can be applied to the end of any overwhelming thought. Let this little re-framing tool give you the perspective you need. Because the everyday things that overwhelm us are often blessings in disguise or at least something we can look back on and find something positive about- John McCain did and under the worst of circumstances. I know when I start feeling like nothing is going as planned I am going to look towards gratitude of what is going right and think of John McCain’s life and attitude.

Hooyah, John McCain, my hero

By HEATHER DEAN

Journalist/Photojournalist

God speed soldier.

When I heard the news last week about John McCain refusing to take anymore treatments for his brain cancer, I was immediately taken back to the memory of my own Grandfather’s fight with the same disease. I knew it would not be long. I recalled the last conversations we had together, some sweet, some not as he recalled his time as a war veteran against the Nazis in Germany.

Third generation Navy, John fought in Vietnam, and was a POW for five long torturous years. And while I'm sure he was not unscathed by PTSD demons of memories past, he never allowed them to damage the things most important to him, the love of his life, and his children. On the senate floor he continued for many years to be the maverick that fought for his nation, working bi-partisanly, even taking on people of his own party, when he saw it was not in the interest of the American people that he so bravely fought for.

I have said it many times in following the politics of the day- we need more veterans on the chamber floors, because they know what it is to sacrifice, they have seen the world at large, from combat soldiers to peace ambassadors. Were that more those coming back from combat had followed his example, tamed the beast inside, and used it for good of the American people.

Thank you, my dear John McCain, for your service to my country, for your sacrifice, and for your stalwartness in KEEPING America great. You are truly a hero of the American people.

John Sidney McCain III, 81

August 29, 1936- August 25, 2018

Honoring Women in Service

By CARL WHITE

Life in the Carolinas

It’s been a great week in production. For several months we have been working on a special we have titled “Honoring Women in Service.” Several of the women that are included in our interviews were attending the American Legion World Series in Shelby NC.

Upon realizing that there was a gathering that included so many of these incredible women we booked the historic Bankers House in Shelby as a venue for the interviews. Before long we had fully scheduled three days.

I have conducted a lot of interviews over the years, and I remember many of them. However, I am confident that I will not forget the significance of the interviews with these women who have served our nation.

Denise Rohan served in the US Army and had the distinction of being the first female National Commander of the American Legion (2017-2018). The American Legion was founded March 15, 1919 and is the largest veteran’s organization in the United States with more than two million members.

Patricia A. Harris, a US Army Persian Gulf Combat veteran. She was the first female commander at North Carolina’s American Legion Post 157, and she became the first female department commander in North Carolina (2013-2014).

It was during her campaign to become the department commander that she discovered the beauty and charm of her own state. The time was right, and while it was a close race, she did become the first female and the first African American to be elected as NC department commander. While her WWII veteran father did not live to see that day, her mother who is now in her late 90’s did.

Carol Barker is a retired Air Force combat veteran who has a history of taking care of others. Her stories are profoundly moving, and she speaks openly about the complications of war that she witnessed and experienced. She served as the American Legion North Carolina department commander 2017-2018. Her willingness to talk candidly about living with PTSD and other issues faced by women and men in service will surely inspire hope for many.

Queen Williams served in the US Airforce. Her story is one of inspiration. It would be a path opened by her hard work and dedication in the ROTC. At first, she was going to enlist, however for some reason she did not qualify. The ROTC did have a place for her, and as it turned out, it was the perfect fit for her to excel. She would go on to have a successful military career, and upon retirement, she would return to the ROTC to instruct and inspire others.

These are but of a few of the inspiring women we have interviewed, and I can already tell you that the richness of the stories is profound. We have talked with women who are now part of American history. The primary objective of this programming is to honor Women in Service and allow their voices to be heard.

We seldom have enough broadcast minutes to share every point. However, we will work hard to weave together the common threads of these most worthy stories.

I look forward to watching these stories come together and then sharing them with the everyone.

May we all remain grateful for those who serve our nation.

You can email Carl at [email protected] Carl White is the executive producer and host of the award winning syndicated TV show Carl White’s Life In the Carolinas. The weekly show is now in its seventh year of syndication and can be seen in the Charlotte viewing market on WJZY Fox 46 Saturdays at noon. For more on the show visit www.lifeinthecarolinas.com You can also catch episodes of Life In The Carolinas on Amazon Prime

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rexylafemme · 7 years

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take every wave

the following are notes i took from a tarot reading i gave myself earlier in the week. and what follows is a mix of excerpts from my personal written journal and addendum stuff as a result of transcribing:

· connect with what you know will make you happy

· don’t rely on old habits

· remember the good, but don’t dwell in the past or romanticize “the good old days” in a problematic way

· don’t be afraid of new experiences and the unknown

· happiness is fleeting, not constant. enjoy what you can, in the moment. nothing is a miracle cure, tho

· known joys. familiar and reliable

· comfort

· live in the present, accept current circumstances

· look back at the good for inspiration and transform the painful

· look at all you’ve endured and overcome: AND you are still kind, generous, loving

· heal. don’t focus on the negative

· positive memories of the past to influence the present and future

· inner child and child-like wonder; art!

· spiritual self/deep self/real self/authentic self

· children as role models

· open heart, pleasure

· the past with all its memories, the present with all its gifts, and the future with all its opportunities

· sharing. well-intentioned

· working through trauma from childhood: be patient and don’t be so hard on yourself

· it’s ok if your life doesn’t look quite as you expected yet—it doesn’t mean you’re not getting there --> faith

knight of cups

· many changes with emotional ups and downs

· moody, dreamy, sensitive, deep

· poetic, romantic, sullen, lone

· depression, escapism

· fiercely loyal

· be mindful of your moods and how you manage them. let them flow

· messenger

· active creative imagination

· feminine, emotional, intuitive: you use for your own good during quests

· charming, attractive, expressive of the romantic, poetic view of life in your own way

· in love with love itself

· use your emotions to provide a map for your life

· heart-focused --> inner direction, friendliness, warmth, love, and the need to share these qualities with everyone

· wisdom from dreams and pleasant experiences that can help you overcome obstacles

· direct your imagination into the real world

· idea --> action

· commitment

· explore your passions and grand dreams actively

· take proactive steps to achieve your goals, it’s possible

· don’t jump to conclusions or be incapacitated by your feelings—flow

· disappointment: situations that seemed exciting but turned out different and not what you expected: think of as redirection

ace of swords

· new challenges for the mind, rewarding challenges

· clarity and sharpness and focus

· converse, connect, write

· a new bird feels the wind and wants to try its wings; an age-old feeling

· trying out your knowledge and talents

· success

· balance intellect and emotions

· you have great power and drive: use it for the greater good and to benefit positively

· tap the potential

· insight and breakthroughs--> easier to achieve goals

· believe in yourself

· inner truth

· action and setting your mind to it

· inspiration and creative vision

· truth and justice

· defending yourself and others

· you have passion and are willing to fight and overcome challenges

· believe in your power and your visions and your imagination, act from it, claim and trust your truths

· patient, steady movement toward goals

· be thrifty and shrewd in your efforts

· financial security

· don’t be over-indulgent and luxurious, save

· pay attention to cash use, budget

· deep emotional insecurity below the surface --> toughness

· tenacious, ambitious, opinionated and somewhat unforgiving nature conceals a vulnerability that seeks solace in material possessions

i am so depressed now, as well as motivated. sleeping more, for once. but waking up tired, achey, sad and not wanting to get outta bed, but also feeling overwhelmed by what i want to do and accomplish, a drive to be very productive. having a hard time with working less and having a hard time just allowing myself to not be constantly ON and constantly productive, as if i don’t do enough. but i feel incapacitated by all i want to get done and by family processes. then guilt and shame, and why can’t i just snap out of it, while also trying to be gentle with myself. and honoring for once, too, that fall has always been an intense time of year: anniversaries and trauma experiences. i feel aimless and lost at times, suspended, but know intuitively and logically that i am not. i just am not in the present, i am anxious of what i am trying to achieve for the future, which is a slowed-down process right now due to my aunt’s illness. part of it is making the choice to really face sexual trauma stuff and relation stuff through therapy and my own processes, part of it is this process beginning lining up with the outpour on the internet and in mainstream in a public way, part of it is family, being in nyc, etc. charmed and cursed.

i’m not afraid of change, i want everything to change. i want a complete overhaul to challenge and break up everything from childhood that hurts and lives inside me in this way that i feel hinders me. to garner strength from it. i honor it. i don’t blame myself. i don’t want to save people. i want mutualism in everything.

my inner child is a sweet, loving, trusting force who believes in wonder and the good cores of people and who always just wishes those things to win out, hoping for change—that people can, that they won’t keep hurting you in the same way. it is at the core of family stuff, how i’ve always related, and also there is a lot breaking open, changing, healing there—in ways i could’ve never imagined. a sense that family is family. you have to forgive, love is bigger. but also, there are boundaries, and we are creating and respecting them. it’s truly great

i have everything i need at my disposal, i just need to see it and give it to myself.

help me be more humble, honest, compassionate. help me be more bold, but in an intuitive way. help me work through my pain and anger. help me be less defensive and more intentional. help me channel my feelings or express them through art, performance, and movement. help me communicate my emotions. help me be less self-conscious an more self-assured. help me be poised and graceful, full of gratitude and wonder and resilience. help me make good choices around food. help me listen to my body and treat it well. help me heal my body—physically, emotionally, sexually. help me allow myself to be cared for. help me appreciate the positive intimacy i have in my life that fulfills my needs and desires, and help me find more. help me acknowledge the pains and desires of my inner child and help me be kind and compassionate and loving with all parts of myself. help me forgive myself and take care of myself. help me learn. help me love myself unconditionally. i think i can do a lot of caring and loving and accepting the complexities and all facets of other people, care for them regardless, but struggle doing that fully for myself. i do it sometimes, but i would like to be better at it MOST/ALL of the time. not egotistical self-love. following up with the question from the performance piece i did to emerge, the question addressed to myself, but changing from ‘you’ to ‘i’: when did i decide i wanted to destroy me?

maybe first instances don’t solve the problem. i think we try to look for origins because then we might be able to make sense of it all. or we think it’s easier to “fix.” but it’s more complex than one beginning point. there isn’t one. there’s the intergenerational, there are the memories we don’t have access to, womb stuff, early early childhood. i don’t know. i guess it’s not about solving a riddle, coming to a conclusion, it’s about dealing with impact and feelings. i’m being unearthed. i am breaking shit open and being more understanding within it. owning my limitations. owning what i want, need, deserve around relation. realizing everything, the unearthing, the deepening, the asserting, has been really hard. really painful.

i want to manage my emotions as healthily as possible. i want to move past old responses. there’s no right way to deal with the drama of terminal illness, of family dynamics and transformations therein. i have the willpower and desire to move forward. i know what feels best: art, exercise, singing, moving, breathing, feeling. doing things for me. maybe a specific sadness just sinks into a more general sadness. the ocean of it. i want to get out of this place. sitting on the porch of the historic lefferts house in prospect park with the campfire, the smell of damp slightly chilly earth created a semblance of true october and a semblance of where i’d like to be. i’m tired of this city, i don’t want to be here, i don’t want to build here. and yet i do want to be present in my family. i forgive them all, everything, i do. i have always seen how deeply hurt they are, always have wanted to change that to help it. and i think i always have. denise said i was a gift to them, even if they didn’t know how to appreciate the gift fully. and i have figured out ways to engage in the healing process, while also stepping back and not taking it all on. i feel grateful that i can listen to them, that i can offer them comfort and help them see nuance, help them understand beyond their personal viewpoints, beyond their own pain. it feels like friendship. it feels like coming home and i don’t want to lose it.

i do and don’t want to speed up time because i know what will give me the freedom to move, gives me a great loss. a loved one’s death. maybe part of what hurts, too, is knowing i won’t be fully destroyed by it. i’ll keep going, even when i don’t want to. as with maureen. a lot of people using the word resilient to describe me lately, from summer to now. and i am maybe at times eye-rollingly tired of being strong. sometimes i want to collapse, to fall apart. i don’t want to be so capable. also the chosen family i have is spread out so far and that is hard and painful, too. i know it’s partially not allowing myself to be fully taken care of, partially from being used to always caring for myself, depending on myself since childhood, and partially because i know it is scary for me, feels like maybe i need too much or am sacrificing my own agency. i’m seeing it so clearly with my aunt, she’s holding on to her independence for dear life. i really respect her for it and it’s always been frustrating for me. i do seek a lot of support, or i have, in the last year, from my kin people. and it’s made all the difference. sonia sanchez said last week, “ one thing we do know is people do the best they can do.” it can often be very disappointing because it’s not the best we want them to do, but it’s what they can muster. we get caught up upset over not doing our own best, also. forgiveness and compassion are necessary.

i am so sad. so many things hurt and i can feel it in my body, my bones, joints, muscles, my heart, my stomach, my lungs, my chest. i’m exhausted. i experience joy and togetherness and sometimes they make me sad, too. beauty tugs at my heart. i’ve always been this way at times. i told an old therapist years ago that i was frustrated that the baseline in my life was melancholy. she said, “well, but of course, you’re a poet!” and i laughed resignedly.

when i met sonia sanchez last weekend, we hugged and she radiated warmth, actual physical warmth i could feel passing to my body. she thanked me for working the event. i thanked her for her work and her wisdom, told her it’s meant so much to me. she said her wisdom is “ebe yiye: it’ll get better,” i said, “that’s an important word of advice,” she said, “oh yeah, the only one. at 8am tomorrow, wherever you are, if you can’t scream it, mutter it under your breath—ebe yiye! it’ll get better.” i guess what makes me sad is i know it will, but at what cost. what grief we have to pass through, what wounds we have to tend to. it’s easy to contend with a physical wound, it’s exciting when you see them transforming from open, painful, bloody to scar, watching the scar fade, the pain fade. with losses, deaths, with emotional wounds, there’s a kind of guilt and sadness for getting over experiences, getting over people who are gone, for the losses to be experienced differently. i don’t know what that is, and that may not be universal. i know there’s something cultural to it for me. growing up in a poor irish/italian/lithuanian catholic situation. in which women especially are supposed to grieve forever. wear black forever. the women in my family didn’t wear black forever, but they did certainly hold the grief forever. we are so afraid sometimes of it getting better. because it means change, because we don’t know what it could look like. i think giving up the opportunity for better in service to known is the saddest thing.

#death #change #family #kin #friendship #love #pain #trauma #ancestry #hurt #scorpio season #tarot

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