#semi-productive days

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #146

I woke up feeling pretty good today. I have some 6 hours of sleep, which is still not ideal, but it's better than what I have been getting over the last few days. I did a little better with hydrating. And it's not Mother's Day today. I feel a little better.

I made a tea today for myself. I didn't have the energy to capture the brewing process this time, but I did get some of the nicer-looking swirls:

I thought the surface swirl looked kind of like a dragon turning its head to look behind it. So that was pretty cool!

...Today I made the vanilla rose tea; it's one that I think you might really like. I was inspired to go to an online place called Adagio to make my own tea blend that I thought might suit your tastes, given that it is known that you enjoy vanilla and roses. I ordered it in a little tin, and on the little tin, I had them put the picture I found of you sipping tea while looking out a window. I've seen a lot of pictures of you, drawn by other people. The one of you drinking tea is by far the best one I've ever seen so far. But there's this other one where flowers of many colors are being braided into your hair; that one comes in second place. There's another one of you in a t-shirt, with your head in your arms, looking over affectionately at a curled-up and contented-looking cat.

...My favorite images of you will always be the ones in which you look happy, contented, and at peace.

After tea, I decided to shower. My mind has been funky, and one of the best ways to clear up a funky mind is to go in a warm place that smells nice. Most of my soaps are scented with roses, lavender, chamomile, or some combination thereof; I think you would like them. ...When is the last time you were able to enjoy a hot shower, with soaps that smell nice? Or a hot bath? I think you might enjoy the soaps available at my house, but given your height, I'm not sure the shower here would suit you well. You'd be welcome to use it anyhow, though (all of my friends are allowed to make use of our shower, beds, and washer/dryer), if you decided to visit; no one would bother you or get weird at you.

I blasted tunes while in the shower. There's a playlist I like to use specifically for it; it's filled with acapella renditions of various video game songs, done by an artist called Smooth McGroove; he's an amazing human being (and very kind, caring, and empathetic!) who is very skilled with the use of his voice. I love singing along with his various tunes!

...I felt A LOT better after that. Holy cow. Well enough, in fact, to begin pulling the lilac blossoms away from the greens:

Today, I even found a weird lilac blossom with six petals instead of the usual four:

...I decided that the non-standard lilac blossom is my favorite one.

In order to make good lilac syrup, you have to take the time to separate the blossoms away from the greens. This process takes a long time, but failure to do so will result in a bitter syrup. I spent three hours doing this alongside a different playlist, and I'm still nowhere near done. I'll have to continue tomorrow, assuming the remaining lilacs aren't too wilted by then...

One of my friends also invited me to a gathering of polyamorous people today. Apparently, it takes place at a local restaurant on the second Monday night of every month. I was really scared about going because I normally don't fare very well in large groups, and I really don't know how to social in general; I don't know how to politely insert myself into other people's conversations, and I don't know how to talk about myself without the other person getting overwhelmed, so normally I just watch others mingle and listen to their stories. One can learn much by simply sitting and listening, and I'm better suited to that than to speaking anyhow.

My friend, with whom I've been friends for 16 years, was with me, and he introduced me to various people. I was surprised to see one of my other friends there, too, but I suppose I shouldn't have been, given the fact that they are very active in the polyamory community. The room was chock full of neurodivergent people, and for the first time in a while, I didn't feel out-of-place. There were lots of folks in colorful outfits and gender-non-conforming clothing, and it was amazing to see! I wore my favorite shirt, along with my usual Eevee hat, cardigan, boots, and jeans, and the plush I carry everywhere, and I didn't at all feel self-conscious about it in this space.

There was, however, one older gentleman present who was dressed in more ordinary clothing, looking a little lost, out-of-place, and lonely. I noticed that the other people there were avoiding him, most likely because of his age and his style of dress, so I made it a point to approach him and to include him in my little group with my two friends and all their friends. I was delighted to discover that he has a very vibrant mind with many interests and a very omnivorous taste in music, games, and movies! He started out being very shy and uncertain, but I did my best to make him feel safe, and gradually he started opening up and talking very animatedly about the things he likes! Speaking with him was absolutely delightful! It was his first time going to this sort of activity, too, and I hope that next time, he will feel more confident and at ease instead of unwelcomed and avoided.

He spoke on being kind of an outcast when he was growing up and going to school. This was something I could very much relate to. We exchanged contact information, and I'm hoping to be able to get to know him better over time. I exchanged contact information with 3 other people in that space, too; I'm very much looking forward to getting to know them as well! One of them creates music and then puts it on a place called Soundcloud (that's where the acapellas I've made are!), and although I won't be able to listen to it tonight because I have to go to bed soon, I'm very much looking forward to listening to it tomorrow!

I didn't take any pictures of the people, because having your face in places is dangerous if you're a non-standard human; in addition to being polyamorous, lots of the people there were LGBTQ, and folks like us are very much hated in my world, to the point where people try to fire us from our jobs, ostracize us from our communities, or even torture and kill us - it's really very unfortunate. But I did get a couple pictures of some nearby flowers, and the scenery along the route to the place, and some pictures of the crafted flowers on the tables:

...Oh, and!!! I managed to snag a picture of a bird-of-prey in flight. They're always so far away and difficult to capture with my cellphone camera, but... well. It's the black speck in the sky. Here:

...Yesterday I said I felt disconnected from everyone and everything and like I don't belong. Today, I was invited to a place where there were a LOT of people like me, and just like that, a few new potential friends were simply dropped into my lap. This is unprecedented. And also very interesting. And also strange. But not in a bad way. I suddenly feel even more foolish about the bit of stupidity I pulled yesterday, ahahaha... 😅😬😓

...Tomorrow, I will pull more lilac blossoms from their greens, and then finally get started on steeping them in hot water to make syrup; it'll be very good. I'll probably be pulling blooms out of greens all day, but that's fine; it's very meditative sort of work. And autistic brains like mine tend to be well-suited for repetitive tasks like this; I can't complain.

I need to try to actually go to bed on time today, so I'm going to end today's letter here.

Hey, Sephiroth? If you're out there, reading these, listening to me, and cheering me on a little from where you are (impossible, I know, but maybe we can pretend)... thank you. Thank you for existing. Thank you for being here. Thank you for being yourself.

I love you. And I'll write again tomorrow. Stay safe for me, won't you?

Your friend, Lumine

[masquenoire]

That feel when your muse is capable of committing the nastiest, most horrific deeds but simultaneously can be wholesome af. Roman would absolutely be the type of parent who'd stop in the middle of torturing somebody just because his child woke up crying due to a nightmare, clean himself up and go comfort them until they fall back to sleep again before heading back to the torture chamber and picking up the scalpel while being all "Sorry about that, remind me again where we left off?" as though nothing happened. 🥲

[oneknightlight]

Yknow if Joanne’s really wants to stay in business and thrive again they have to completely redirect their targeted audience. Most people don’t walk into Joanne’s and go “god I REALLY want to get hundreds of dollars worth of Easter decor, and yards and yards of gold metallic brocade and this specialty st Patrick’s day flannel”

Most people walk into Joanne’s and go “man I’m like 5 black buttons short for my project” and then they go to the button isle and all of the buttons are ornately designed except for the single overpriced bag of regular black buttons.

[acourtofquestions]

Officially starting Chapter 65 of Empire of Storms!

… I have a little less than 100 pages left in the book… I’ve got bonus chapter/chapters for after (to hopefully give me some consolation) and Tower of Dawn at the ready (actually looking forward to it quite a bit)!..

I may have cried wolf before but I’m prepared this time (got my books, got 20 days worth on renewals, got my dog who has been informed to follow in its ancestors footsteps & comfort me like Fleetfoot😂, All Too Well TS tissues at the ready to bawl my eyes out, my favorite kind of tea (okay so I guess that one’s just thanks to Kroger re-stocking), blankets and warm lighting, a whole day off from work (the first and only for a hot minute & the following days to come), and introvert time to read my book in peace… or distress… idk😅) and as much as I love these books and never want them to end, it’s been months and it’s time to know what happens and enjoy every second of it… hopefully😅😅 re-reads may be kinder 2nd time around😂🤣 so — ITS TIME — we shall see how much reading gets done today between the emotions of whatever the heck is about to happen, but EoS ending shall be occurring in T-Minus sometime in the next 12 hours. Probable spam to follow? We’ll see 😅😅😂🖤😁

[naru-uzumaki]

[thelastlightningbug]

i want to sort data forever i am pie chart lover i can spread the sheets any day

[storfulsten]

aaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAA

holy moly

[sparklingpax]

the way omni productions was like “ah yes, and here we’ve got the fearsome...” 

*checks smudged notes* 

“...deathsanrus”

[chadsuke]

love it when i have literally no classes bc theres a ski camp trip and was told at the last min which means 1) im definitely not finishing the textbooks with some grades and 2) i didn't bring my switch

[hiptobeitalian]

//Have a tiny Pep doodle from when I was working on commissions for your troubles.

[feua]

*taps mic* this thing on?

[melodic-mayh3m]

((hhrmfd iiiii need a distraction and kinda wanna talk abt/develop Crow before he became Crow as he is now. So would it be okay if I could ask for ya'll to send in some potential questions? /gen))

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[elytrafemme]

okay it is like really fucking late idk why im still up here sitting here i need to go to bed LMAO. hoping my activism ppl uhhh dont need me to last minute send them anything bc i am OUT baby and my mobile app for slack doesnt work so we’re all doomed in the end etc etc. what am i saying. oh yeah im going to bed im gonna clean out one of my folders then sleeping. <3333 GOODNIGHT FRIENDS

[beautifulscreaminglady]

I wish naturally pretty people would wake the fuck up and stop wondering why people are so obsessed with beauty, it makes them look so stupid.

[kenzie-ann27]

would love to stop feeling guilty all the time