#sense and sensibility appeals to me too

[roseofb612]

I want to reread Persuasion so badly

[itstheghostofmypast]

Big Spoon

Non-Idol Choi San x (F)Reader

Summary: Who knew he'd wake up bleary-eyed to find her a mess, one that was out of her control and his - or so he thought.

Genre: Fluffish

Warnings: None (just mentions of sad puppies)

Word Count: 1.3 k

Est.Read Time: 10 min

Rating: PG-13

Networks: @cromernet @k-labels @san-network

Banner: @cafekitsune

"What are you doing?" He sat up, squinting at his lover who was sitting with her headphones on, blasting God knows what at 2 am. Good lord, no wonder the bed seemed so lonely and-

"Why are you awake?" She snapped at him, causing him to flinch, his little pout and amusing bed hair had her mentally scolding herself for the outburst, he was sitting there half asleep, half awake, though completely ready to get to the bottom of this mystery. She took a deep breath before biting her lip and mumbling, "S-sorry, I didn't mean to sound mean, client called and Hongjoong needed more photos so I uh...got up to do it now so I won't have to do it later- just because that lady's rich. " Turning the chair to face him she winced slightly, hoping he wouldn't notice it, though how would it be Choi San if he didn't?

"What's wrong?" He asked pushing the covers off as he sat at the edge of the bed, feet planted on the cold floor. The moment of clarity allowed him to notice the small hot water bottle on her lap, and the cup of green tea in front of her beside a giant flask and a tissue box- "Were you crying?" He cooed, getting up to go closer only for her to whine and roll her chair back, keeping her distance.

"Hey, come on." He pouted before jumping at her causing her to gasp, only to realise he had held onto the armrests of her chair, locking her in place, "What happened?"

"I-it...nothing." She mumbled, averting her gaze, in no real mood for anything at the moment, she just wanted to finish editing these photos and- "Does it hurt here?" He asked, gently placing his palm against her belly, causing her to whine and try to push it away, only for him to shake his head  and remove his hand, instead using it to cup her cheek, "Let me guess, you got the call, they asked you for something that makes no sense, and shark week hit mid brooding session?"

Her eyes widened by the end of his little monologue, as she nodded, staring at him in awe like a little girl who had just met a fairy, well, he was a fairy, a rather feline-looking fairy she could call her own. Elegant, yet endearing, soft and warm yet as solid as a rock, smart yet, just a little dumb- either way, he was her pretty, cute, little fairy- though if he heard this analogy he'd probably be throwing a fit for days, claiming he was anything BUT A FAIRY- he was, as he'd like to call himself and his bros (minus Wooyoung because frankly she had realised he was the only sensible one in the lot)  A KING!

"How did you know?" Her lips quirked upwards when he leaned closer to place a soft kiss atop her head, a gesture that would oddly make her all putty in his hands.

"Because I'm the world's best boyfriend." His voice boomed across the quiet room causing her to cover her ears due to heightened sensitivity, before frowning up at him

"The world's best boyfriend missed one thing though."

His shoulders deflated at the statement, and he flopped backwards on the bed dramatically, his back landing with a loud huff, "And what is that?"

"I was crying cause- " her breath hitched as the memories resurfaced,  "Some dogs go through depression and this puppy did too- I was watching the video and it was so sad...Sannie" she whined, calling him out for God knows but the flashing images of the puppy and the stupid client's appeal just bothered her even more, the cherry on top was the excruciating pain that was a constant reminder of how the world is too cruel to women.

Not a moment later she was gently pulled out of her chair, engulfed in a warm embrace as his familiar scent enveloped her senses, work left behind, as she felt the soft, warm pillow- nope that was his arm, "My head's heavy," with a small mumble she tried to move, but he clicked his tongue and pulled her closer, resting his chin on her head, "And my heart is heavy....my poor baby is in so much physical and emotional pain and I can't do anything about it-"

"We're never getting a puppy."

"I- um...okay?" He mused, giving her a gentle squeeze, of course, that one video of the sad puppies would make her come up with this verdict, possibly fuelled by her hormones. Making her laugh right now probably wasn't the easiest task, which is why he resorted to asking her the real question, though gentle toned and carefully curated, using his other hand to rub soothing circles on her back as he approached the topic, "I thought you sent the client all they asked for, did they want something out of the contract?"

With a loud huff she began, only to pause for a moment when another cramp hit, her fingers gripping his shirt as she took a deep breath before speaking (venting), "Apparently some of the guests, who refused to take solos then, now want their solo pics because the others who did get their solos taken got good results- like flattery will get you nowhere, I can't pull out your solo pics from my as-ah shit, " she hissed, trying to move, "I need my heating pad." He was quicker than her, jumping over her, letting out a hearty laugh when he heard her squeak and let out a few vulgar words. As quick and agile as a cat he hopped back on the bed, turning her on her back as he placed it on her lower belly, "There, all better?"

Nodding she placed her hands on the pad, pressing it against her skin before sighing, continuing, "Anyway, someone was like oh can you like crop us out and put us somewhere to turn it into our logo- you mean cut you out and paste the image, spend time blending, shading, fixing the highlights- no, because its not in the contract and I'm not being paid more for this."

"I...wow..." he mumbled, running his fingers through her hair soothingly as he sat beside her, looking down at her only to notice her trembling power lip and glossy eyes, "What's...wrong...baby, you don't have to do anything that wasn't under your contract." He hummed, tracing his fingertips over the slightly warmer skin of her forehead absentmindedly, "You want me to talk to -"

"That puppy was so sad, he looked like he wanted to cry and..." Turning to her side, as she closed her eyes, the rush of emotions getting a bit to strong, the tears leaking through her clenched eyes, hugging herself. This was stupid, she had ruined his sleep, woke him up in the middle of the night, snapped at him, told him stories that were irrelevant and then ended up crying about a video on puppies.

"I like being the big spoon."

Oh- that's why she felt so warm, and-

"How is laying on top of me the bigger spoon, you're crushing me."

"I'm protecting you from the bad vibes. Told you Hongjoong as a boss sucks, man's a capitalist monster."

With a sigh she relaxed in his hold, the added weight actually helping with the pain, both, physical and psychological.

"To sleep, you should stop thinking, leave your worries, for tomorrow's you." He sighed, giving her another squeeze, though he didn't recieve any response to his wise words, he could get them printed, "You asleep?" He whispered peeking over her shoulder only to smile,  two hours, they'd been awake for two hours, listening to God knows what she was going through, biological and induced. Either way, he was glad that she had the world's best boyfriend, he'd probably boast about this tomorrow to her, when she's in a better mood, when she's well rested and probably complaining once again, about how Hongjoong finding the dumbest, but richest clients. Need not worry, she'd always have someone loyal, sincere and the best big spoon out there- all her's.

Taglist: @edenesth @yessa-vie @the-kpop-simp @mlysalt @spooo00oky

[joon4eva]

just the tip? — kim namjoon.

genre: established relationship au.

summary: you and namjoon are left alone together for a little too long. or: in your childhood home, you learn just how much is really "just the tip" with namjoon.

word count. 3,994 words.

warnings. semi-public sex, namjoon doesn't need much convincing, oral sex (m. receiving) unprotected sex but reader is on birth control, creampie, namjoon takes oc's underwear.

note: happy early bday to our leader who keeps me sane and motivates me to keep living everyday. here is some horny fluff word vomit inspired by all the content we've been getting of namjoon looking delicious in his buzzcut lately. i couldn't resist. pics above are from @rkivsfe ♡

Namjoon seemed plucked straight from the pages of a classic romance, a perfect gentleman in every sense.

Throughout the day, your parents had been gracious hosts at their house, and Namjoon had gracefully navigated each conversation, his charismatic charm and impeccable manners in full display. 

Yet, it wasn't the refined qualities occupying your mind; rather, it was his freshly buzzed hair and the allure of his domesticated moments – like when he insisted on helping your mother – that made your heart race, feverish heat flooding your core at the thought of creating a home with him someday.

The both of you had never really properly broached the topic of children, especially since you were on birth control. While you had only been dating for two years, discussions of having children had stayed respectfully on the back burner; the decision to wait until marriage, or at least until life was less hectic, appeared sensible to both of you. 

For now, life as it was felt fulfilling.

But lately, as you watched Namjoon tenderly cradle a friend's baby or playfully chase nieces and nephews at family gatherings, you began to see the appeal of having a family with Namjoon. It was hard not to want it sometimes. 

It took every ounce of restraint not to lunge at him right there, an insatiable hunger bubbling within, barely contained. 

And when the rest of your family continued to mingle in the backyard, that was the moment you decided it was time to make your move. 

Namjoon's eyes narrowed perceptively, instantly detecting the undercurrent of mischief in your stride. 

Your smile, wide and radiant, was Oscar-worthy enough to mask your ulterior motives from everyone else; however, Namjoon could see right through your seemingly innocent offer of showing him a 'tour' of your childhood bedroom.

Determinedly, you grasped his arm firmly and practically dragged him up the staircase of your parents’ house and up to your old room located at the far end of the second-floor hallway.

—

To his credit, Namjoon nearly fell for your act. 

He attentively followed along while you animatedly led him around the room; pointing out the remnants of your teenage years evident in the faded posters of pop bands adorning the walls, a meticulously arranged collection of Studio Ghibli figurines that adorned shelves, and a colorful assortment of plush toys scattered about.

Golden sunlight pours through the window, playing on the sparkle in your eyes as your sundress embraces every curve. Beneath Namjoon’s clothes, a nagging ache intensifies, matched by the growing warmth and strain in his pants as he admires your radiance.

Slowly, time seemed to suspend itself, while the walls in your room appeared to close in on you both. Soon enough, you found yourselves standing face-to-face, completely absorbed by each other's presence.

“You okay?” you ask in a hushed tone.

Namjoon's eyes sparkle with mischief, his eyes shamelessly lingering on your figure. The corners of his mouth turn up in a cheeky grin.

"I know what you’re thinking." 

Brows knitting together, you blink in feigned innocence. "I don't know what you're talking about," you murmur, eyes evading his as your arms cross protectively.

“Oh, of course. You were just so eager to show me your room,” he states matter-of-factly. 

Namjoon’s grin grows wider as he confidently strides closer, hands casually tucked in his pockets. “Nothing more to it, right baby?” 

What a fucking tease.

Warmth creeps up your cheeks as nervous laughter bubbles up, eyes avoiding his penetrating stare – Namjoon always had an uncanny ability to read you like an open book.

It was something that instantly made heat bloom between your thighs.  And when he was looking at you like that, it was impossible to hide anything from him. 

He tilts his head and studies you with an arched brow. “You have that look.”

“What look?”

“The bedroom eyes. I’ve seen it before.”

“I do not!” you manage to choke out, the words nearly vanishing from your throat.

Namjoon just chuckles, disarmingly smug. “Hm. If you say so.”

Within moments, you uncross your arms and navigate the remaining distance, your hands coming up to explore the contours of his body – fingertips slipping under his shirt, feeling the muscles tensing in his back before coming around and daintily migrating northward across his chest.

Namjoon leans down, claiming your lips with a fleeting kiss. "We probably shouldn't," he breathes out softly against your parted lips.

"Hmmm," you pout. "And why not?"

Not waiting for an answer, your lips continue their exploration – slowly moving from his lips, tracing the angles of his jaw, and dancing between gentle nibbles and fervent suction.

Beneath his shirt, your fingers tease his chest, leaving light scratches before brushing against his sensitive nipples.

It only took seconds before you could feel how hard and ready Namjoon was, as his skin burned hotter beneath your touch and his breaths grew shallow.

Trying to suppress a groan and maintain some level of composure, Namjoon bites down on his lip and whispers your name with an unsteady voice. 

"Your family is literally downstairs."

“They’re actually outside.”

Smiling mischievously, you return your attention to him by licking a slow stripe from his neck to the sensitive spot just below his ear – a place you’ve discovered he particularly enjoys being teased.

“I can’t promise I’ll want to stop at just kissing,” he warns with equal parts desperation and plea – a last attempt at cracking your resolve as his hands reflexively grip your waist in a manner both possessive and protective.

“And what?” you breathe out, each word soft and slow, a challenge in disguise. “Where would you want to stop?”

“I won’t.” 

Softening your gaze, you allow your lips to ghost over his. “Then don't hold back,” you whisper, pressing a tender kiss to the corner of his mouth.

His heated gaze flickers across every inch of you – taking in your expression, the way your body presses against his. You couldn't resist further taunting him. 

Your hands slide down his chest and towards the belt loops of his jeans, giving them a playful tug before swiftly moving to unbutton them.

It’s at this moment that Namjoon seems to snap out of his haze.

His lust-addled stupor evaporates like lifting fog, replaced by a rush of clarity where the lines between right and wrong become difficult to blur.

Suddenly decisive, he intercepts your wandering hands with a firm but gentle hold. 

“____. No.”

“I’ll be quiet,” you promise him, a sultry smirk playing on your lips, both tempting and dangerous.

“Baby. We are not fucking in your parents’ house—especially in broad daylight.”

"Oh, Joonie…" you sigh lovingly, pressing a tender and lingering kiss to the small mole just below his lip.

"Always such a gentleman. Holding my hand, praising me in front of my parents, even charming my mom... You don’t wanna fool around with me here?" 

Namjoon's mouth opens as if to protest further, but any words that threaten to come out are swallowed up by a groan that he struggles to stifle at the sensation of you swiftly tugging down his jeans and boxers, just enough for you to wrap your warm, tight hand around his thick length.  

"You’re…s-seriously out of your mind. We…we really shouldn't," he manages to utter, each word strained by the effort he puts into maintaining control – his dark eyes burning with barely restrained desire.

You pause your movements and look into his eyes. "We can make it quick. I promise I'll be quiet."

But you knew Namjoon had always preferred taking things slow, savoring every moment, especially during sex with you. He was never really a fan of rushing, and you learned along the way he was big on foreplay. 

Yet seeing you present yourself before him like a priceless treasure, accompanied by batting those alluring, pleading eyes at him, Namjoon can't help but consider going against his instincts for once – if only for five fleeting minutes.

“I knew you didn’t want to bring me up here just to—Fuck, hold on. Wait,” he stammers, suddenly remembering, “I– I don’t have any condoms. Well, I didn’t bring any, for obvious reasons.”

An awkward silence settles between you two as the unspoken question lingers, and you gaze into his eyes, searching for an answer.

His eyes widen just a fraction when he realizes what you’re silently asking. 

“God, are you…—? No," he says firmly. "Absolutely not."

"But I've been on birth control for years!" you whine.

Namjoon closes his eyes briefly and exhales sharply, tension radiating from his clenched jaw.

“Babe,” he utters with a heavy sigh.

"Namjoon," your voice is barely audible as you breathe the plea into the curve of his neck, the warm air causing a shiver of desire to course through him. 

Your thumb glides across the tip of his cock, smearing the glistening pearl of pre-cum that gathers from the tip.

Your lips begin to trail gentle kisses along the length of his throat, all while teasingly drawing the tip of your fingers up and down his shaft.

Namjoon's breath catches in response to your touch, gasping as he involuntarily thrusts upwards to meet your hand.

“What about ‘just the tip’?” you whisper. “Isn’t that something that guys like to do?”

“Well… I-I’m paranoid and we should be careful,” he stammers out. “It only takes one time, you know. Can’t this wait until we get home?” 

Noticing his faltering resolve, your lip catches between your teeth to suppress a sly grin. Wordlessly, you slowly sink to your knees in front of him. 

He watches transfixed as your tongue traces a slow path up the engorged vein of his cock, pausing to swirl around the head before taking him fully into your warm mouth.

Namjoon emits a soft groan - hands delicately cradling your jaw - while your cheeks hollow and your head begins to bob rhythmically, dewy eyes peeking out from beneath your lashes to watch him.

His head falls back and his eyes squeeze shut, fighting to restrain a moan as desire shoots through him like wildfire, fuelling your own craving for him even more fervently. 

You could sense him teetering on the edge, his self-restraint waning with each moment until, in one deft motion, he withdraws from your mouth just enough to stagger back, hoisting you up by your arms and steering you backwards until the mattress edge halts against your knees and topples you onto it. 

“You’re fucking shameless, you know that?” he pants, scrambling to shove his pants further down and stepping between your legs, holding his hard cock and leaning over you.

Below him, you giggle and hurriedly push your dress up, sliding your panties down and kicking them aside.

Grabbing your wrists, he pulls them over your head and pins them there.

And as his body aligns with yours – his strong chest firm against your breasts, his crotch deliciously nestled between your thighs – every last drop of doubt vanishes from both of your minds. 

Under the sultry gaze of his darkened eyes, he grips your face, his large hands cupping your delicate cheeks, thumbs tenderly caressing the soft skin. 

Your mouths meet urgently; his lips hungrily pressing against yours to lick and tug at your bottom lip, expertly swallowing every stifled sound that begs release.

"Joon," you murmur tenderly against his parted lips, pausing between kisses. "Touch me, please."

Your honeyed pleas don't go unanswered; Namjoon's hands swiftly comply with your demand, gently pulling down the elastic neckline of your dress far enough to let your breasts spring free. 

"Such a tease, wearing this," Namjoon grunts, grabbing a fistful of your dress, "fuck."

His eyes darken at the sight before him: your dress invitingly pooled at your waist, thighs parted and slightly glistening from your arousal visible even to him. It was nearly impossible for him to deny you anything at all when you pleaded with that breathy, needy tone.

His lips move with purpose, trailing a series of warm, sweet kisses across your collarbone, down to the valley between your breasts – lingering just long enough to elicit a breathy gasp before grazing your stiff nipples with feather-light nips. 

You struggle to bite back any gasping moans – honoring the promise you hastily made earlier – with only the softest sighs escaping your pursed lips.

“Feels good?" Namjoon murmurs softly, his hand navigating the space between your bodies to trace delicate circles around your throbbing clit.

"God, you're soaking wet already and I've hardly touched you."

Desperately trying to maintain silence, you find your hips moving instinctually in rhythm with the sinfully slow motions of his long fingers. They gather your slickness, teasingly near your dripping entrance with one finger before returning upward to trace unhurried, deliberate circles on your clit again with two fingers. 

“Wanna come first?”

Your bottom lip captured between your teeth, you shake your head.

"Can we… Can you pull out?" breathlessly escapes from your lips.

He groans your name gently, punctuating his words with a delicate nip on your jawline. "What happened to 'just the tip'?"

"I changed my mind," you whine weakly, stifling a frustrated groan when his fingers stop their movements.

Namjoon's chuckle against your skin is light and teasing. "My greedy girl,” he coos affectionately against your lips before pressing a lingering kiss on the corner of your mouth. 

“Wonder what your parents would think if they knew that right now, their precious daughter was up here with me, legs spread wide and begging for me like this? Hmmm?" 

His dirty words make you choke on a barely suppressed moan, but you do nothing to discourage him.

He doesn't pull his fingers away from your aching core – instead, he bends down to lick them clean before gently pressing them back inside of you.

“Please, just please, can we…” your voice falters as it dissolves into unintelligible murmurs, desperate for relief, desperate for him to fill you up the way you want. 

"So needy," Namjoon chuckles softly at your struggle for coherence; swiftly replacing his fingers with the head of his cock. 

"You’re sure about this?" he whispers hoarsely, the feel of him nudging at your entrance sending already rioting butterflies into overdrive.

Your hands instinctively slide over the firm contours of his backside, urging him closer as your hips rock against his. “Wanna feel you. All of you,” you softly mewl in his ear.

A primal growl emerges from Namjoon’s throat before he nips lightly at the tender flesh of your neck. “So filthy.”

Namjoon finally pushes inside of you, inch by torturous inch, until he’s buried to the hilt inside of you, slowly filling and stretching you in a way that makes your legs shudder and lock around his waist. 

His hips still, giving you time to get adjusted, or perhaps in an attempt to try to steady himself. 

He nuzzles into your neck, spreading his warm breath all over the soft skin there, nudging aside the fabric of your dress to press a kiss to your bare shoulder.

Your arms come up to wrap around his neck, fingers dancing across his freshly trimmed head, massaging and scratching softly at his scalp.

Your hips slightly roll to guide him deeper, enticing him to start moving. 

It's sheer, unadulterated bliss as he pumps into you, filling you up in perfect harmony with your own unsteady breaths.  

It feels even better than you thought – so warm and wet and snug around him, nothing has ever felt as good in your life. 

Out of all the things you and Namjoon have tried, this was something that you just haven’t done. 

And now you know you were ruined.

Ruined for using a condom ever again with this man. Your pulse is pounding so hard against your ears that it seems impossible to focus on anything else at this moment but him and how good it feels to have him bare inside of you. 

"You feel so fucking good, baby," Namjoon breathes hotly against the column of your throat. "So tight around me."

He’s fucking into you agonizingly slow and deep; his movements are deliberate and unhurried, each deep, slow stroke filling the air with your muffled moans and the wet sounds of your slick bodies every time his hips snap up against yours.

His hand entwines with yours, palm-to-palm above your head, while his other arm holds you closer by the thigh curled around his waist.

Enveloped in a sensuous fog where your senses blur and bend, you feel him gradually quicken his pace, each thrust growing more intense.

Namjoon nuzzles his face into your neck, soft moans vibrating against your skin. 

Teasingly, his pulsating shaft glides out completely – slow, torturously slow – pausing just before thrusting back in; filling you completely, his tip applying pressure to a hidden sweet cluster of nerves within you that ignites an uncontrollable tightening around him.

An unfamiliar sound escapes from your throat – a strange mixture of a whimper and his name – and he gasps before laughter takes over. His hand comes up to quickly muffle your sounds.

"Babe," he warns between giggles and gasps for air. "You promised you'd be quiet." 

“But—” your weak rebuttal trails off as warmth spreads across your face and tears gather at the corners of your eyes. “B-but it’s just so… F-feels… so…”

"Shhh, I know," he whispers tenderly against your mouth.

Namjoon’s hand trails from the curve of your thigh to weave through your hair, tightening at the back of your head and pulling you into another heated, sloppy kiss. 

“Doing so well for me,” Namjoon whispers between kisses. “Taking it all.” More kisses. Rougher and wetter. “S-so pretty… so fucking pretty wrapped around me like this.” 

With each impassioned stroke, you cling to him; muffled moans of his name escaping between breathless kisses as waves of warmth wash over you. 

"Want you to come... come inside, Joon, please," you softly plead.

Ardor begins to strain at every seam, your sweet plea threatening to shatter Namjoon's restraint, nearly sending him over the edge.

“Yeah? You close, baby?”

Your eyelids grow heavy, closing tightly as your head fervently bobs in agreement, words failing you.

To this, Namjoon plunges into you with a growl. His cock kisses your g-spot, again and again – and his face is a canvas of pure ecstasy as he thrusts forcefully, his hips colliding with yours while he drives himself even deeper, almost as if he was working to etch himself into your very being. 

Your teeth press into his shoulder to muffle your sobs, while your hands frantically wander— sliding under his shirt to rake at the damp skin of his back or bunching at the wrinkled sheets, desperately searching for something to ground you as he pounds into you, each powerful motion stealing more breath from your lungs. It’s a drawn-out, slow rolling orgasm that he drags out of you.

He fucks you through your climax; deep, steady thrusts that makes your legs quiver and your eyes lose focus as they roll back. 

A low, guttural moan suddenly escapes him as warmth begins to flood every nook and cranny within you, occupying and filling every gap.

The pulsating of the thick vein lining the underside of his cock throbs with each burst of his release, while your own walls tenderly constrict around him.

Your vision is consumed by whiteness as your eyes clench shut from the sheer force of shared euphoria, your mind wonderfully blank.

And then, stillness. 

He stays buried inside you, his large frame forming a protective shield around your body, like a giant blanket swaddling you both.

His nose gently nestles against the side of your neck, as the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest comes to match yours, slowly and peacefully. Your legs are still wrapped snugly around his waist, your hand tracing slow, lethargic circles on his back beneath his shirt.

“Holy shit,” you breathe in elation, “we should do that more often.”

Namjoon huffs out a laugh. Carefully shifting his weight, he hovers above you, hands on either side of your shoulders. “That good?”

“Yeah,” you exhale with a grin. “Really good.” “Really good,” he echoes with a laughter that dances at the edges of his eyes and alights the depths of his dimples.

And you laugh, too, delightfully dizzy and slightly sticky with perspiration as the sun spills through the window's gaps, rays of golden syrup bathing you in warmth.

Namjoon presses a fleeting but tender kiss to your mouth and gently pulls out of you, leaving a lingering emptiness and a sweet ache in your core that lingers.

His eyes curiously wander down to the apex of your thighs and you watch as his hand wanders down to pry your legs apart, his fingertips holding them open as he watches the warm, viscous fluid of his cum slowly form a trail from your entrance. He traces a gentle finger through the slick aftermath, a satisfied hum resonating as your body shudders with blissful oversensitivity. 

In this proximity, he bends down to place a tender kiss on the side of your jaw, with words that now flow like honey. “Think we could make that a priority,” he murmurs.

He follows up with another feathery kiss directly upon your lips - an almost chastely innocent smile dancing across his features, almost sinfully ironic.

You find yourself grinning in response to his obvious overture before letting your hand wander lower on his back.

Slowly, deliberately, almost flirtatiously, it reaches and gropes his rear end. "So would you be open to round two then?" you tease playfully as your fingers pinch just enough for him to know you're serious.

Namjoon’s immediate reaction is priceless – a jolt forward accompanied by an adorably indignant yelp as he tries (and fails) to hide his surprise at your boldness. All he can do is shake his head at you in disbelief before giving in once more to laughter. 

Eventually regaining some composure, he chides you gently by flicking your forehead with one finger, mimicking chastisement but betraying nothing but affection. You feign complete agony with a comically exaggerated moan and grip to your forehead, earning another round of laughter from Namjoon.

“Jesus, baby,” he says, exhaling a heavy breath, forcing a laugh. “You’re going to kill me.”

He shifts to a seated position on the mattress next to you before standing up, his back straight and his movements curiously graceful for someone so tall.

Your gaze follows him, transfixed as he grasps the edges of his boxers and jeans, lifting them back over his lean hips. 

You have to internally curse at how his shirt clings to him like a second skin, accentuating his broad form as he calmly fastens each button, the muscles in his biceps rippling subtly in the process.

This simple act (an undoubtedly mundane and ordinary action) transforms into a hypnotizing display just by virtue of it being Namjoon. 

Shifting your position slightly, you slide the straps of your dress back into place, readjusting the elastic neckline to cover your chest.

Propped up on your elbows, your eyes dart around for your missing panties.

Namjoon seems to be almost telepathic in this moment, glancing over and catching your eye.

Realizing what you're searching for, a playful smirk forms on his lips.

He bends down to retrieve your underwear from its hiding spot on the floor and rather cheekily shoves it into his pocket instead of handing it to you.

Feigning irritation, you huff as he saunters victoriously across the room towards the bedroom door with his stolen trophy secured in his pocket. 

“Namjoon,” you protest, now sitting up completely. “I need those!”

"You can have them back later," he calls over his shoulder as he begins opening the door. 

The curve of his lips breaking into a gentle smile as he adds, "Let's go home. And don't worry, love - I'll keep these safe for you."

As if to emphasize his point, he gives the pocket safeguarding your panties a delicate pat - one last playful jest before disappearing beyond the doorway.

[wewebaggit]

I am already not paying for Netflix and will not support ST either, especially after Shawn Levy's open Zionist approach.

Look, no one is saying they cannot support their family in Israel. But what they are doing is basically sitting in the US and calling for an open ethnic cleansing against Palestinians, while cherry-picking their words and spreading false information. As we speak, Gaza is basically being bombed to death, an entire place has its water, electricity and basic resources being taken from them. It may be easy to post random shit on your accounts with millions of followers while living in rich houses. But the reality doesn't match that and both Levy and Noah should have been more sensible and learned better before posting dumb shit on your accounts.

You are free to hate whoever. N I'm not even gonna bother to defend them cuz it's not my job nor do I base my politics off of teen celebs. That being said I've read his statement that is just as passionate and devoid of the complete understanding of everything of it like other impassioned posts. That's what passionate posts do. They appeal to an emotion. I'm not sitting here expecting him or any other jewish celeb to say yaaaaaas Hamas. Nor am I gonna raise my brows if they speak for the Jewish side of things.

The statement that people read and ran with saying he's calling all Palestinians terrorists is as inaccurate as whatever false info y'all are accusing him of spreading. I do not blame him nor do I defend him and him is a placeholder for any Jew celeb, cuz I do not base my sense of right or wrong on what they're saying. I've never once felt the need to publicly anonymously denounce the people I don't agree with because I don't usually find myself overcompensating for anything.

Israel - Palestine conflict is not new. What's new is this one actor who everyone's expecting to say politically correct shit (which in his mind he might be doing just that 🤷‍♀️) and I believe that expecting this in and of itself is stupid and an easy way to pass the blame and do nothing at all to look good.

Palestinians right to self determination is not affected by what a nobody says. Nor is Israel's stance on continuing on with its policies of decades. The fact that people are busy harping on this one thing cuz apparently the only source of knowledge is insta and therefore maybe it seems like it's a must to react to whatever is seen on insta. Well, I cannot relate.

The fact that you or whoever if there are multiple anons find it necessary to approach me on anon so that I can be derisive towards him and that somehow it is the most important thing to discuss here - well, it is laughably easy to post while sitting in your home with food, water and power while others are wont to dangerously struggle for them. See how that works? My post is and has never been about Israel Palestine at all and was always in response to anon (and fandumb) who's been at it for a while.

Are we truly gonna say that he hasn't always be hated upon for things he's done and not done? Is there a comparable backlash against other celebs? That being said you now stop liking a celeb. Good for you. What does it achieve? Were you following them for their immense knowledge and wisdom of politics and geopolitical conflicts? Then I suggest you do not mourn the loss.

Also the fucking hypocrisy of everyone on this site to wake up like the Undertaker when it's israel/palestine (not even out of much real love for the people affected let me remind you as the argument is centered around fucking Noah schnapp/jewish celebs of all the people) and then no reaction to what happens in third world non-glamorous countries. (The glamorous here is Israel to be clear). And before you say well it's a reaction to what he said. Well there have been reactions based on what he should say or hasn't said, too. So like I'm judging y'all atp. Like what's the issue? Your heart bleeds for victims or does your mouth salivate over taking someone down with that pitchfork?

Why should I engage in an argument that's not based on what is says its about but the subject matter is celeb not the thing celeb is talking about. That being said I won't even be talking about the thing the celeb is talking about because there's shit happening in the world all the time and I have my opinions on all of them and I choose to keep them to myself lest people read what's not there and call me a genocidal dogwhister. There are 2 sides to a genocide. (And I'm not saying like 2 sides to a story. But a victim and a perpetrator) And the supporters of both sides will have unfortunate reading comprehension if it means they can take down a nobody in the business of nothing to make themselves feel morally superior.

So should he (Shawn and Noah) be more responsible or considerate or whatever? Idk. They can be or they can choose to show their ass. My respect (if any) for them never did rest on what their political beliefs were because, at the risk of appearing repetitive, I don't care.

I do care about the proxy hatred being spewed under the guise of sloganeering though. I'm way too used to it. It happens on the daily where I come from. I'm not gonna pretend y'all are angels. I see this for what it is.

So good on you for not supporting ST and staying true to your beliefs and code. That is always a respectable position to take. Sometimes people are just not in your position. Like you might not be in theirs. As you so pointed out.

TLDR: I trust celebs to post dumb shit. Where have you been to have expected differently?

[fictionadventurer]

Austen asks! 4-24

I don't know if you intended this to be inclusive, but I'll answer them all anyway (skipping over the ones that have already been answered).

6. Favorite movie adaptation

The 1995 Sense and Sensibility. To me, it strikes a good balance between being a good adaptation and making the story accessible to audiences that haven't read the book, and it's one of the few that seems to understand Austen's humor and romance.

7. Favorite Austen couple

Anne and Wentworth. Their personalities balance each other perfectly.

8. Least favorite couple

Colonel Brandon and Marianne are so frustrating to me, mostly because of how Austen writes them. They fall victim to the Marian Halcombe Problem--if you spend the whole book showing a man and woman having tons of conversations and developing a good dynamic as equals, I'm not going to believe that he's in love with her sister.

9. Most hated foe of a heroine

Isabella Thorpe is a terrible person, and I can't think of any redeeming qualities or circumstances.

11. Least favorite book

I gained a better appreciation for Sense and Sensibility on my last reread, but it's still definitely Austen's weakest novel.

12. Least favorite Austen heroine

Marianne Dashwood is a realistic teenager, but not someone that I can admire or sympathize with too much.

14. Favorite love confession from the books

Can any Austen fan say anything other than The Letter in Persuasion?

16. Least favorite film adaptation

I hold a grudge against the 2005 Pride and Prejudice, because it did nothing to make me understand the appeal of Austen, and it's a horrible adaptation, but it has such a huge influence on fandom's interpretation of the novel.

Also, every once in a while, I remember the scene in the 2008 Sense and Sensibility where Brandon gives Willoughby a "stay away from my daughter" speech, and I shudder over how creepy it is.

17. Moment that made you sad/cry while reading

Basically any scene of Fanny Price's childhood.

18. Moment that made you smile/happy while reading

Henry Tilney's introduction scene in Northanger Abbey is just pure distilled joy.

19. Moment that made you laugh while reading

I'll never forget the time I laughed out loud in class while reading one of Miss Bates' speeches in Emma.

20. Moment that made you mad while reading

I don't know if I've ever been so mad for a heroine as I was during the scene where the neglected poor, orphaned, outsider Fanny watches everyone fawn over poor, orphaned outsider Mary Crawford.

22. Favorite Austen female casting decision

I love Tamsin Greig as Miss Bates in the 2009 Emma, because I did not imagine her talkativeness as stemming from anxiety, but it was fun to see her played that way and to experience a different interpretation that still felt valid.

I'm also going to take this opportunity to mention that I love Mrs. Jennings and Sir John Middleton in 1995's Sense and Sensibility. I just grin through every scene they're in, and I especially respect them after learning that they were the only cast members that Emma Thompson didn't have to write random extra dialogue for in crowd scenes, because they just naturally knew how to talk like Regency characters.

23. Favorite Austen male casting decision

I love Johnny Lee Miller as Mr. Knightley in 2009 Emma. I don't know if he matches the character in the novel, but I love how he portrayed the dynamic with Emma.

Also, Hugh Laurie as Mr. Palmer in 1995's Sense and Sensibility is perfection. And Greg Wise as Willoughby is beautiful and charming enough to do his job of fooling you into thinking he could be the romantic lead before he proves to be an utter cad.

24. Favorite supporting character

Mrs. Jennings. Hands-down. So vulgar, nosey, and over-the-top, but beneath it all, so kind and friendly and helpful. I love her so much.

[marley-warriors]

Loki/Basim's background and motivations analysis

Based on AC Vallhalla, Mirage, Dawn of Ragnarok, The Golden City novel, and Forgotten Myths comic

To start with, the creator of Sages, Darby McDevitt explaines Sages as such.

Basim and Loki are the same being born in different time periods. Basim is Loki, but has amnesia of his past Isu life. It is only after accepting his Loki side (aka Nehal) that he lifted his amnesia and remembers his first life.

Edit: Sarah Beaulieu, narrative director of Mirage, indicates it may be a takeover, contrary to Darby below. Seems the lore is still unclear.

So here is what we know of Loki/Basim's background.

Loki had brothers once, but Basim did not. From the Edda's we learn of two older brothers; Byleist and Helblindi. His Father's name was Farbauti, which translates to 'Dangerous striker'.

In the Golden City we learn that Loki's father was extremely cruel and violent towards him, and apparently never loved him. From a young age, Loki would have felt unworthy of love. He was a child. He needed love to feel safe, but instead was forced to adapt to violence. Also, note how sad he is in the text. He's neglected and traumatised by his childhood memories.

It's saddening how Loki/Basim is filled with a childlike jealousy at Hytham's care for Leo. Because deep inside Loki/Basim craves that parternal love and affection which he never recived. And perhaps Basim's architect father provided a balm for that, but it was not enough, because even this father abandoned him by dying. And again he is forced to grow up fast as an outcast amongst society.

He is not evil, and had ambitions. Basim wanted to aid the less fortunate and had a strong sense of justice. We never met young Loki, but Baldr approached Loki specifically for mentorship in diplomacy.

[I will need a mentor in the art of diplomacy - and none is shrewder than Loki. - Baldr]

From an Isu perspective it would have been sensible to employ Loki as a Diplomat. It might have been his actual job, which explains why he was free to travel between the warring empires. Not just that, but he is half Jotnar and half Aesir. In the games Loki referes to himself as a Jotnar, but in the comic he acknowledges that he is not a pure-blooded Aesir, indicating his mom was Aesir.

The comics indicate that he was born and raised in Jotunheim, being well familiar with the area and serving as Baldr's guide.

[Jotunheim, realm of the frost giants was a harsh land. But Loki knew it well. For six days he guided Baldr through the mountains as they sought their treasure, evading the residents of that terrible place.

Loki: Stay in the shadows and out of the sunlight, no matter how tempting the warmth. Jotun eyes are keen and there are many about.

Baldr: Aren't you cold?

Loki: Don't mistake me for blood-kin Baldr. My father was bathing in blizzards while yours lounged in summer fields.

[Baldr is freezing in place and becoming an icicle while lamenting death.]

Loki: Perhaps I should have come alone.

Baldr: I couldn't let you risk the danger on my behalf. Not when I am invunerable and you-

Loki: - can endure the cold better than any pure-blooded Aesir? ]

Jotunheim under Jupiter/Zeus/Suttungr seems to be North America. Perhaps Loki grew up in Alaska or Canada. Loki is also a frost giant with the ability to manipulate ice (might also be a piece of Eden or bio-engineering).

The comics show that Loki loves spinning tall tales and has a real passion for story crafting. Baldr was aware of that and played that to his advantage.

[Appealing to my ego? Transparent, but... effective. - Loki AC Forgotten Myths after Baldr sweet-talks him.]

Loki has a big ego, and is aware of it too. In general, he seems keenly aware and insightful of his own nature, and engages in philosophical musings with Baldr. A sense of self-preservation drives Loki, and he uses this as a shield against anyone that threatens to do him harm. Loki is quick to fear death (as are most beings of course), but Loki's fear of death seems extreme, possibly steming from deep-rooted trauma.

[My nature is neither better nor worse than the next man's. When I am kind, it is because it suits me. When I am cruel, it is to preserve my existence - and that of my kin. The fear of death is the root of my "callousness." - Loki]

[I cannot be other than I am. All of this was fated. All this will happen again.]

Loki fully believes in fate, and so justifies his actions as already being calculated by the fates. There's no point in trying to be a better person if the fates have already declared you to be the bad guy, which is how every other character makes him feel.

[Have you considered that Havi may not want Loki redeemed? - Freya to Baldr in AC Forgotten Myths]

It doesn't help that the others keep enforcing this idea by calling him a trickster and oath-breaker, because if they don't hold him to a higher standart, why should he himself? Even the blood-brother Loki once looked up to has decided that he should never be seen as redeemable.

[Yet only a fool trusts Loki - Loki to Baldr after Baldr asks for mentorship in AC Forgotten Myths]

In the comics, it seems that Loki has weaponised his stereotype, and he warns Baldr a few times that he should be cautious around none other than himself. Either Loki has been verbally abused often enough to fully believe that he's the bad guy, or he uses it as a persona to hide his vunerability and hurt. Perhaps he was even trying to give Baldr a fighting chance of surving his own wrath?

Also, we must remember that Loki and Havi saw each other as real brothers. Havi called Loki his 'brother' or numerous occasions, but when angry, he'd call him 'Jotnar' or derogatory terms. Even Loki and Baldr called each other nephew and uncle on multiple occasions. Loki grew up in a broken family, found a new family in the Aesir, and forged a family of his own with Sigyn and Aletheia, but all of his families were shattered and taken from him.

[With such gifts would Loki find forgiveness. My brother always knew how to win hearts. To him, it was almost as easy as breaking them. - Havi]

Loki can be very charming if it gains him favour. He loves using bribes and offering gifts to appease the Aesir.

As is the case with some traumatic childhoods, Loki seems to understand love as transactional. Love needs to be earned by good deeds or gifts. And Havi's words seem to further reinforce the the notion of Loki only being valuable if he could offer contributions.

[Now Loki had the three gifts he needed to win redemption in Asgard. - Havi AC Dawn of Ragnarok]

Loki/Basim has a strong sense of justice, hence killing Baldr had been Loki's last resort. He had tried countless other methods first. Fenrir's imprisonment infuriated Loki, so he tried to reason with Havi. (Rightly so, Fenrir was a literal BABY who had done nothing wrong). Loki wanted to appeal to the council and courts for an overturned judgement, but Aletheia stopped him as she feared they'd kill him. Loki and Aletheia then polygraphed Havi before attempting to imprison him. When Juno freed Havi, it further foiled Loki's plans.

Loki informed Jupiter of what was happening, but even Jupiter failed to end the threat. It seems at this point that Loki really snapped and decided to do the job himself. He aimed to kill Havi before ever thinking of killing Baldr.

[Oath-breaker? I did to you what you did to my son. This is only fair. Release him, Havi. Release Fenrir, or I swear I will kill you here and now - Loki AC Valhalla]

Now this is interesting because of the blood-oath. Loki was ready and willing to kill Havi, which would activate the blood-oath and kill him too. The blood-oath promised mutual assured destruction, which is essentially a murder-suicide on Loki's part. But he was willing to die of suicide if it meant Fenrir could be free. Havi spared Loki because Havi had no intention of dying.

So Loki, who has become suicidal, sets off to stalk Baldr, and decides "Curse all! If I can never hold my son again, neither can Havi!"

[I have a tale for you. A tale of Loki, who claimed righteous vengeance upon Havi through his hapless son... - Loki imprisoned in AC Forgotten Myths]

Loki truly believes this is justified. He essentialy stabbed his only ally in the back, killing the last Aesir that had any trust or love towards him. It's interesting that Havi's own self-fulling prophesis brought this about, which Loki himself cautioned Havi against.

Loki is cunning, shifty, self-serving, a liar, but he is also diplomatic, patient, helpful and has a strong sense of justice. Circumstances have pushed him to this point. If Basim is Loki, we know that he is capable of good, and longed to do well (this depends on whether Basim was Loki or serves only as a vessel to him).

Loki only ever wanted to be a good father. He wanted to be the father he never had. When Loki lost Fenrir, he probably hated himself, because in his mind, he was now just as bad as his own father. He was willing to endure his two worst fears - death and lonliness - to free Fenrir. Not to mention Loki's cell being a claustrophobic coffin, completely alone (his biggest fear), only taken out off his coffin prison to be physically tortured. It's no suprise he experiences CPTSD/PTSD from his childhood, his imprisonment and the imprisonment of his son.

PS: Some people say Loki was evil in the Edda's? I read over them, and Loki was never malicious or evil (except when he killed Baldr and bragged about it). He was a troublemaker and caused chaos, but never for malicious or evil reasons. Loki was never jealous or plotting. He was more of a prankster. In fact, the Aesir were unreasonably cruel to him, constantly threatening him with death or bodily harm. Loki only caused the Aesir trouble for two reasons; he was A) Bored or B) Hungry/hangry. (Do not touch his food. He will fight you).

[asherloki]

7 and 15 for Sherlock and reader. From the grumpy sunshine affectionate list pretty please 🥺

His summer girl

Sherlock x reader

Word count:- 1261

Fluff

Prompt list, and many others I find endearing!

"Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?

Thou art more lovely and more temperate:

Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May.." So on I read as I held my book of Shakespeare's sonnets in front of me. Sonnet 18 is indeed my most favourite. The first time I read it when I was in school, then I read it again for college and then to my delight, there's nothing brighter than a soothing summer's day and if your lover brings such brightness to you, you're indeed lucky. As for my dearest lover, the detective, rather the cold detective as people say sat with me. He held me closer to him with an arm, and as soon as I started reading he put his phone down, shifting his full attention towards me and my reading.

"and summer.." I continued reading until his heavy, beautiful voice continued with me,

"And summer’s lease hath all too short a date;

Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines.."

We read the lines together.

"you're prettier than a summer's day" interrupted Mr Sherlock Holmes, wrapping another arm around my waist as we both sat in his chair. Snuggling closer.

"someone's not paying attention to my reading, isnt my voice appealing anymore?" I replied. He, having such a voice himself has often loved poems when I read them even more.

"ofcourse. it's still beautiful, your voice will never cease to be amusing to me, at the least your reading." He answered. Our flat is calm at the moment, no client, no shouting at Mrs Hudson and all. Perfect for a poetry session. Sherlock placed his chin on my shoulder from behind, his breathing touching my skin. Just like the sunrays hitting directly at us from the window.

"you're cute, you know that Mr grumpy?" I said booping his nose lightly, when we first met he was this cold distant man, never quite came to talk to me on his own. However, he listened everytime I read or talked, to be more specific talked in metaphors.

"no, not me, you're cute" he said snuggling more. And I didn't object.

"do you remember, four years ago, when Christopher and I broke up? I was talking to my friends and family on my phone when I quoted, "The more I know of the world, the more I am convinced that I shall never see a man whom I can really love. I require so much!" you stood outside my door and listened and when I turned to you, you were startled, yet you gave a nod and went away".

He chuckled softly, uff his voice, so close to my ear,

"I do, from Jane Austen's sense and sensibility it was, also because I wondered what love actually is as you talked of it in phone" he replied, "I've often stopped playing violin to listen to you, reading loudly, like that one time when inspector Johnson called me a fool, you were sitting in the kitchen. I felt bad for taking long to solve the case, and I muttered, "perhaps I am" you came quickly and quoted, "The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool" from as you like it by Shakespeare and glanced at him. That ... that motivated me, and in two days I solved it."

I nodded, ofcourse I remember it clearly. I smiled at all the memories of us, from quote talking to trust, trust to friendship, and then here, now as lovers. He doesn't ask for much, isn't like other men who are clingy and... may I dare say like some who are lusty too. He's just him. How come I found him?

"how come I found you?" he asked out aloud, "my summer day? my Sunshine? you filled my world with light. Everyone else seemed to have liked me getting hurt emotionally but you..."

I paused realising he's opening up? he doesn't do it much, so I listened without interrupting,

"you... having you, I feel... I." he stuttered, "I love you, walking by you makes life easier and happier" he finally said, holding me tighter. How come I not love this man? I caressed the back of his hand. However after a few seconds I let go off his grip on me, baffling him slightly, just to face him. To look at him, the vulnerable Sherlock Holmes, which is pretty rare. I leaned on my hand, resting my elbow on the top back of his chair.

"See how she leans her cheek upon her hand.

O, that I were a glove upon that hand

That I might touch that cheek!" he quoted shakespeare, caressing my cheek.

"oh" I said, "well hello Romeo". It made him giggle and me as well.

"If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more." I replied.

He thought for a moment, perhaps this time I gave him a good move, "and it's from?" he asked.

"oops, was it a bouncer detective?" I teased and got to see him pout, he's adorable at home, "Emma by Austen ".

He hummed and nodded, point one goes to me. He didn't stop, rather started reciting, "And every fair from fair sometime declines,

By chance or nature’s changing course untrimm'd;

But thy eternal summer shall not fade,

Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow’st;"

He continued Shakespeare's sonnet 18. So I, too looked at my book and began reading,

"Nor shall death brag thou wander’st in his shade,

When in eternal lines to time thou grow’st:"

Sherlock held me even closer as he recited next lines looking at me,

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,

So long lives this,"

Then I continued with him, reciting my favourite line, "and this gives life to thee".

And we sat in silence, looking into eachother's eyes. The closeness and silence never bothered us. His green eyes gazing at me made me blush and I looked down, smiling softly. Remembering some time has passed perhaps, since we sat like this, so to break the silence I said, "You know what Sherlock" I got up, "I wanna read something casual" saying so I went to look for a contemporary romance novel in our bookshelf when my dearest lover rolled his eyes and said,

"you mean those smutty books, that gives you weird fantasies and you ask me to imitate that in bed?"

I giggled, because that's what I do, I read smuts, get an idea and ask him to do it, "well" I said looking at him, "you don't wanna do it?"

He smiled, shaking his head he replied, "I can't say no to you, can I?"

He too knows how much he likes to have control in bed, and I give him all of that. Was that too private to share? I turned around to choose a book when

I heard his soft footsteps, walking towards me, I turned to him and raised my brows,

"what now detective?"

He said nothing instead came closer and cupped my face, I love it, his big strong hands cupping my cheeks, he leaned to me then said,

"Make me immortal with a kiss"

And his lips met mine. Here, in this flat, the winter man kissed his summer girl. My detective, considered to the cold one met me, the sun girl they say. And the spring that blossomed in our hearts, hope it never fades away.

[twinkrundgren]

one of those Redesigns.

i feel like, not quite being a fan of viv, i know where her art style and design choices are coming from and we quite agree on a lot of it, its very influenced by 2000s scene culture. i don't think her designs would hit the same way if that scene influence was not present. its present in the fur, the stripes, the face shapes and colors. i think it's charming, and i think a lot of designs iron that out to make her designs less tumblr sexyman or whatever. and thats fine, but as a fan of all those 2000s scene designs, i don't really want to ruin what i find appealing about her designs and art style. i just want them to be more grounded, more understandable, and less obnoxious.

so for AD here, i just wanted to amke him more spider like and figure out his face shape. i like his face shape, its very flowy and fun to draw, but it doesnt make any sense. i tried to make his side? hair into cheek fluff, he's some kind of furry spider and i gave him a sort of diamond/triangular shape to his head to emphasize that. his hair, which is sooooo 2000s scenedog, i couldn't NOT keep that its one of my favorite things of that era. its goofy and obnoxious, but honestly, i like that.

i think there was wasted potential not making one of his spider eyes to be his eyebrows. (raven, anyone?) i think it allows the design to have these different eye colors without making him TOO special for those odd colored eyes. the rest are just next to his eyes, i think you can place them in any different configuration and it works tbh. i also gave him some spiky pedipalp like mouth appendages to add to the spider motif and made one of them gold, instead of one of his teeth. i think its a bit more eye catching that way.

the lower body is basically the drastic design change. he's a spider, but he doesn't have 4 pairs of limbs or even an abdomen. i gave the abdomen some fluff, because tarantulas have fluffy abdomens, and i removed his extra arms (clutters the design and silhouette too much) and gave him 3 pairs of legs in a sort of squidward type of leg style. i can see him skittering around on his multiple legs, while allowing the shape to be sexy since he's trying to be sexy.

with this design, i feel like he has more freedom with posing without his silhouette being compromised by so many long spindly things. i love long and spindly, but you need to balance it out too. big round shapes are just as fun as thin spiky ones.

the rest is just my personal touches as an artist who likes 2000s scene dog art. me and viv tend to converge on design sensibilities, but i think i have more tact and especially more subtlety in my designs than her. tee hee

[ferie-anon]

Mbti Dissections+Astrology

- P vs J ppl: The way they argue and reason is different. P ppl rather live in their own ideals and thoughts and peace rather than defend and analyze whether what they think is accurate or other logical grounds. P ppl use their imagination and own interpretation of logic to argue. P ppl rather not rationalize it too much. J ppl try to make sense or think of all the possible ways of an argument and ideology, J ppl have a more logical way to wrap around things and they interpret things with more of the groundwork from previous concepts they’ve learned, etc so when they are confused or disagree with an argument they try to analyze it down or organize it with the facts and reasoning they recall.

- N vs S: Intuition vs. Sensing. Although they sound different, they are relatively similar except distinct in their approach. N ppl tend to appeal and express their care and approach emotionally and abstractly, whereas S ppl tend to relay their thoughts and approach through a more “grounded” and “sensible” way. For instance, an N person might try to put themselves in their friends shoes when they try to comfort them and acknowledge their emotions. An S person might try to comfort and then solve the solution or talk it out with their friend to help them with their concerns or feelings. The approaches are different but ofc both types care for their friends and loved ones. Additionally I notice n ppl talk a lot about different things in conversations and s ppl may sometimes join in or not rlly add on to the conversation.

- E vs I ppl: Extrovert vs. Introvert. It’s kind of easy to distinct between these, no it’s not simply because one likes to talk more and the other is quiet (although that is one aspect). E ppl like to hang out and get energy from meeting ppl and engaging in conversations. I ppl prefer some alone time and NEED time to recharge, ofc they may also like talking to ppl but the difference is that they lose energy after and need some time to recharge alone. Extroverted ppl can keep up or have more energy in terms of talking and expressing to others because they enjoy doing so and etc. Ofc being an extrovert or introvert can fluctuate since it changes in circumstances and extroverts may feel like introverts at times and also lose energy.

(Additionally there are ppl who are ambiverts in between so when taking the mbti test, they may be categorized as an E or I but it may be interchangeable based on the situation and time)

Mbti is a personality type of identification, and ofc not everyone will be exactly the same. Some of these may apply to most ppl but not all.

Here’s also some astrology placements + mbti observations (may not be true to every placement):

🎧 Virgo moons may have a J in their mbti due to their nature of trying to logicalize and organize their reasonings, thoughts, and need for structure and details.

My gemini sun virgo moon friend is an intj and me as a libra sun virgo moon I retook and got infj. We both think similarly in our focus for details and approach in arguments and thinking.

🎧 Sag moons and fire moons may have f or p in their mbti due to how they tend to express and follow their heart, empathize with others, and prefer not to have a specific structure or plan when doing activities etc, often having some impulsive choices/decisions.

My friend who is a virgo sun sag moon is an enfp, the sag moon rlly makes her clumsy and chaotic at times despite her being a virgo lol. I also have a gemini sun leo moon friend and she’s an infp, sensitive and heartwarming, she used to be an isfp 2 years ago. Both of them are very compassionate people with others emotions and expressing their own.

🎧 Scorpio moons may have an s in their mbti, most Scorpio moons struggled with power dynamics early on and had to develop practical and rational problem-solving skills to gain back a sense of personal power and earn respect. Therefore, as a skeptical moon sign that has an eye for detail they value logical thinking skills and common sense over theorizing.

My friend’s bosses often had estj or istj placements. And her grandma who is a taurus sun scorpio moon is an isfj. These MBTI types are also known for implementing a lot of control over others and their careers as they often fit authoritative positions due to their commanding qualities. Her grandma nitpicks about a lot of things at dinner time, is specific about her interests and likes-dislikes, and logical when reasoning with others.

[vampiremeerkat]

not sure if you've caught up much to Vivziepop's work lately, but got any thoughts regarding her Helluva Boss show, or her upcoming Amazon Prime version of Hazbin Hotel?

Said this: https://vampiremeerkat.tumblr.com/post/188696192708/hazbin-hotel-came-out-thoughts-aye-watched-it https://vampiremeerkat.tumblr.com/post/665027239768899584/since-youve-seen-hazbin-hotel-what-do-you

But I've still not watched Helluva Boss, only about two or three few second snippets out of curiosity for the animation quality. My knowledge on it is based on a review from Just Stop, and if the show is like he describes, I won't be turning on episode 1 soon. It appears to me like Helluva Boss just does things to look or sound exciting in the moment, without caring about previously established rules or how stupid these decisions make a character look in the face of past or upcoming episodes. Then again, my mind has been poisoned by anime, and I like Cars, so I can also imagine none of it would keep me up at night. But even before Just Stop's video, I've not felt particularly interested. If I had to give a reason, perhaps I just don't enjoy Vivziepop's interpretation of Hell enough to want to know about its residents. Just Stop gives a sensible list of reasons what's wrong with her Hell, but like I said in one of the linked messages above: I find many of the characters too approachable/aesthetically pleasing and already don't think that's what Hell should be like. I want disfigured gremlins no one wants to draw porn of. Hell should be Hell, not a (slightly) less bearable version of some big city you can find on Earth. A good example of Vivziepop's work is the character "Beelzebub". I happened to come across an image of her not long ago, which is a fluffy neon-rainbow fox with insect wings, instead of an actual bee with beastly features, which would've made more sense. Why is someone who's called "(queen) bee" a fox? We know why, and I cry for all the sexy bees in the world. You don't always have to cater to the furries, my friends, please, just try something else for once, leave the canines, felines, and dragons alone! There are so many different kinds of animals walking the planet to sexualize! And you.. furries.. You're all conveniently inhabited by the soul of a wolf -an animal that so happens to appeal to most humans in terms of appearance- while there's infinite times more sea life and insects that existed throughout time and in present day, that died and could've reincarnated into what is now you! That's right loser, you are a literal worm! Anyway, the characters draw the attention of teenagers, but at the same time, the show mishandles the use of swear words and throws them around like it's all good, which I also can't stand. I think the latter is what initially turned me off from sitting on stand-by for the upcoming Hazbin Hotel show, because why should I care about anything you have to say if you're always going "fuck" and "shit" in my face? A sliver of positivity in this rant: I think the owl looks cool. Again, he does not look like anything Hell would produce, I'd design something like him if my intention was a "mysterious, forest fairy tale creature", but still cool. I contemplated looking up his scenes under the belief there's a complicated, emotional story attached, but if you're telling me they did this hooty boy wrong by making him a sexually dissatisfied whore, with Blitzo's only aim being his magic book, and yet further episodes proclaim there's an actual connection between the two without the writers having put in the work, then never mind. I'll find myself a different hooty boy. 💔🦉

[mxopifex]

A Fanfic Writer's Guide to Writing Fanart Prompts

So it came up while chatting with some other members of a fandom gift exchange that some of the writers felt less comfortable writing prompts for recieving fanart gifts and I thought I'd try and make a guide to help out since I do both fanart and fanfic.

The stumbling blocks as I understood them were: 1) not knowing what you like in fanart, 2) not knowing how to articulate what you like (which is probably more related to the first item than you think), and 3) worrying that all your prompts are too narrative. Imma do my best to address those, but if you have other questions feel free to drop me a line. I want to help.

I call this a guide, but it's more of a series of questions to ask yourself than a how to, or rather this is a how to think about and understand what you want to ask for type guide. A good prompt doesn't need to (and maybe shouldn't) touch on every issue I bring up here. The goal is to make the person who is making your gift feel confident that they can make something you like, not to tell them exactly what to do.

What to do if you are worried that you make all your prompts too narrative heavy:

First, relax. Fanart often carries a narrative component. You can reasonably prompt something that might involve a bit of visual storytelling. That said, the amount of story you can get in a single image is much smaller than the amount you can pack into even a modest 1k short story. Imagine a single scene you might like to see; the kind you love when it pops up in a fic. "I'd like to see the blorbos on a beach vacation" or "I'd like to see character A treating character B's wounds." You can further abstract this to things like "a cozy domestic scene" or "being flirty."

Some Prompt Prompts for if you are feeling stuck on what to ask for

Tropes! Many tropes work in a fanart setting. The ones that don't are the ones that need a bit more narrative behind them to make sense. It might be tricky to convey Fake Dating with a single image, but Hurt/Comfort or Only One Bed is very doable.

AUs! Want to let the artist play dress up with the blorbos? See what they'd look like as the socialite guests in a 1920s Agatha Christy style murder mystery? or just ask for something more general like a fairy tale setting or modern au.

Set the mood! What's the vibe you like best about this character or coupling? Do you want something dark and broody? More lighthearted and comedic? Tender and romantic?

Style! While I don't advise requesting something in the vein of a specific artist's style (the person making your gift has their own style) talking about styles of art that you like can help them understand what's visually appealing to you. So mentioning like "a moody film noir type setting" or "overwrought flowery romance like in shojo manga" isn't horrible, as long as you leave the artist room to bring their own sensibilities into the picture.

Poses! Want that bridal carry? Sharing an umbrella? Something that emphasizes a height difference? Don't go too hog wild with details "and their left pinky at a thirty degree angle..." but if you wanna see someone getting dipped on the dance floor, go ahead and ask for it.

Two final thoughts. First, just like with fic prompts you want to have a couple different ones in your ask. Every artist has things they feel more or less comfortable with, and giving a few options helps to make sure that there's at least one that they can work with. Particularly if you have a more complex prompt, it would be good to also have one that's simpler or more open to interpretation. Second, check in with yourself to see if you have any art specific DNWs.Maybe you can handle written descriptions of blood but not visual depictions or maybe the character has that one outfit that you think is butt ugly. Either way make sure you are clear about it in your prompt.

[viric-dreams]

Since the topic's been going around and getting me thinking:

Ockham enjoys the typical shows of romance, particularly those expressed physically. Heshethey does struggle though to be the only person in a relationship and the only means of physical/emotional intimacy or support for someone because of hishertheir transitory nature and personal priorities overriding romance. The Greater London Polycule is a good fit for himherthem. Emotional intimacy might be a bit more difficult because of the current identity crisis happening, but heshethey wouldn't turn down sex or any kind of physical intimacy. That's something that Ockham doesn't really have any hangups about, possibly related to living in close quarters with people most of hishertheir life and seeing it as something mundane and relatively normalised. Especially with hishertheir eclectic set of memories and experiences (many of them serpentine), Ockham finds the sexual mores of Victorian Londoners particularly inane at times. These elements also makes Ockham open to trying pretty much anything a partner may suggest, at least once.

On the other side of the spectrum is Roberts, who's actively irked by any overt signs of romance on Grand Geode, usually because that means said sequencers are distracted or shirking duties. Realistically, the negativity comes from it being something that he feels that he could never have as a consequence of both his sexuality and position (though it's not something he's self-aware enough to know, nor wants to think about). Anyone making romantic overtures at this point would be pushed away out of a mixture of him not believing that he deserves it, that said person is after some sort of advantage because of his position, and that it would be a distraction from The Work, with a healthy bit of fear of the unknown thrown in for good measure. He's built up a ridiculous amount of intricate rituals around physical contact with people that make sense only to him. Having any sort of a sex life is a nightmare when you're almost everyone's superior officer and instantly recognisable, and come with enough emotional baggage to hold every piece of sentient clothing in Polythreme, and thus regulated to quick and faceless encounters, often in foreign ports. Even then, the intricate rules persist: sex is sex, direct and perfunctory. Kissing is off limits, absolutely no lingering touches, nothing that feels too much like intimacy or involves giving up control or trusting someone. Get what you're here for and go.

Nite's lack of memory has made everything a novel option and possibility. This is not necessarily a good thing. His strong streak for showmanship and craving attention lead to some somewhat extreme behaviour. Those grand gestures that only seem to work in romance novels are exactly what appeals to his sensibilities and he's convinced that they would work in real life, and is apt to try. If boomboxes and romcoms existed in this era, he would be that guy. It clearly seems to work in the films, so absolutely worth attempting in real life. Because a lot of what he imagines romantic behaviour is comes from stories and not real life experience, he starts with the idea that this is what romance and seduction should look like. Many of these things are things he doesn't even necessarily enjoy, but he tries anyway because what does he know, maybe that's just how things are done. This does eventually modulate over time, when he gets a better sense for his own preferences, and the flair for the dramatic remains, but tempered. He is also very quick to emotionally open up and try to deepen a relationship (either romantic or otherwise), often faster than the other person is comfortable with. After a handful of negative experiences he's gotten better at this. Unlike Ockham, whose sexual tastes generally tend to be broader and has a fairly solid sense of hishertheir boundaries, Nite has the same "I'll try anything" approach, albeit it closer to an "I have to try everything to know what I like" outlook, and no moderation or sense of pacing. This has led to a handful of upsetting experiences (both for himself and any partner(s) involved) when he inevitably discovers far too late that this was not a good idea. His lack of knowledge of his own boundaries makes him dangerous to both himself and others.

Tamara's been on dates with some of her peers back in Varchas, but it was never something that intensely interested her, nor did she ever have a serious relationship. It was expected that she would eventually settle down, either with someone of her choosing from a similar class background, or through a suitable suitor introduced through her family. She did enjoy the attention that flirtation brought, but would be the first to tell you that she doesn't really know what she wants out of a partner either romantically or sexually, but of course has plenty of time to figure it out. In London, she has far more important priorities at the moment and isn't even entertaining the idea. Her initial suspicion surrounding Ockham's kindness was quickly assuaged upon realising that heshethey doesn't necessarily want anything from her at all and offering her a place to stay was simply an act of one outsider recognising another and offering a helping hand. Of course, there's plenty more regarding Ockham about which to be suspicious, but that's a different topic.

The Rubbery Barber Surgeon is in a healthy and loving butch/femme relationship with The Tentaclar Surgeoness. He enjoys filling the traditional masculine role that the Surgeoness, a huge fan of pulpy romance novels, seeks in a partner. Thus far, things have gone well for them, and they seem perfectly compatible. She might just be the one. He may have visited a particular jeweler on Flute Street a couple of times. He's slowly planning a very special date night for them in the near future.

[vaalthus]

Convergence Part 1 (spoilers)

*Deep inhale*

*Long exhale*

THE TIME IS NIGH!!!

So to start,

I have to say I was utterly shocked that Jaania chose not sacrifice any more of her forces to buy her more time weave her spell but after giving it some thought it's an action that makes sense for her. As I mentioned in commenting on the Final Steps release, Jaania is finally able to see that our motivations we're always intended to strive for everyone's sake in the best of ways we knew how. As a result, she's hoping we can see and have faith in the good she's trying to bring about through her ascension.

As such, it makes no sense in her eyes to waste the lives of those who have been so loyal to her in helping her reach this moment when there's a chance their lives can be spared by us and they in turn be able to experience the world she seeks to achieve. Though those same troops would have been more than happy to lay down their lives for her so that world is brought to fruition. It's just a pity Jaania didn't give the order to retreat sooner otherwise the last of the Pelekoans might have survived.

What troubles me is the comments like these:

It's no secret to anyone that the last of Jaania's forces were those who were most loyal to her and her vision but what I find troubling here is the inevitable aftermath of these people once this conflict reaches its conclusion. As Hansa, pointed out to us in the Awakened Depths, Jaania became a beacon for those who had a simple wish to be achieved: to be free of any and all magical threats that Lore offers. However, it's not just these soldiers that want that, it's the nobles, the farmers, the little guys that have been supporting the Rose all these years across Greenguard and likely still do, sure that number has definitely taken a dive since the start of Book 3 but I doubt it's still insignificant. All of those people will soon find their dreams and the person who was meant to bring back a sense of uninterrupted peace in their lives is about to be dashed. We can only hope their response to this reality is constructive as opposed to the opposite.

What I've been saying all along folks :3

Miss me with that "we're not so different you and I" speech.

I like to think this is the Hero taking all they've learned about the ability to make choices in the Maleurous saga and is just throwing that much needed wisdom back at Jaania who feels the need to instill order in the world.

This comment is interesting to me because we have seen the Hero effectively try and be everywhere all at once for eveyone's sake, quite almost obsessively I might add, and I feel if Jaania hadn't recently just had a change of heart on her perspective on them, and taken the time to analyze the Hero's deal, she might have been able to more strongly appeal to their need, their desperation, in protecting everyone they can. Not that it would work either way, the Hero's distrust and deep-rooted fear of her, as seen in Fear, showed that getting us on her side was simply not possible.

If she was more predatory, of course, she would have used that aspect against us as every other villain that attacks our psyche has done before. A neat contrast here is what I'm pointing out.

*sigh* Every single new questionable scene with this woman continues to force me to find comfort in the fact that her and the other Magesters too dependent on the Mana Core Fragment will be dead eventually thanks to Roirr's actions. I truly want to believe there's a positive future for the Shapeless Empire that doesn't involve exploiting its citizens through this agreed upon cycle without violence but the rotting hands of the past never want to let go of control easily.

YOU GAVE THEM TRAUMA AND WEREN'T EVEN SORRY!!!

Okay technically this right here is the more sensible reasoning, but I stand by what I said! What I like most in this scene is that we simply reaffirm what we've been trying to tell her since this whole mess started with her organization. Everything we bring up about the harm the Rose has done thus far has been consistent and aren't negated by the fact that Jaania, at heart, wants to do what she believes is best for everyone's sake.

What I love even more however is how she averts her eyes the moment we bring up Akanthus because she knows she can't even reasonably, or delusionally for that matter, deny she has made a grave error in judgement in allowing Akanthus' abuses on, well, basically everyone, and soon everything, in his wake. It's that "Yeah, ya got me there look" that just sends warm feelings down my spine.

Now if you told me at the start of this saga Jaania was going to offer us a bargain to effectively play as the puppeteer god of fate alongside her, I definitely would have called you insane. It's moment I'm sure comes as a complete shock to everyone, it certainly did to me anyway. And honestly why wouldn't it? It's one thing to ask us to stand down and simply allow her to achieve apotheosis but it's a completely different matter to propose to come and play god. But it's one that sadly makes all too much sense.

Jaania has admitted that she has made terrible mistakes and has been too much of an imperfect being in her quest to achieve peace and prosperity for Lore. So better way to accommodate for her ham-fisted actions and judgement so far then to have someone like the Hero to hopefully keep her worse tendencies in check. As opposed to someone like Akanthus or Zadd who would, in all likelihood, make things worse had they been afforded the opportunity. There's another reason I believe she makes this offer but I'll get to that later.

Nothing else to say here beyond epic callback!

Out of all the Hero's moments in this quest, I believe this is where their experiences throughout the Maleurous saga shines through the brightest.

In a way, you could argue that, in spite of the obvious chaos that will come with it, Jaania's plan is to instill an eternal order, a Destiny, upon Lore itself, one in which she will insists never ends as she dictates. Yet the Hero knows the importance of others being able to decide the paths they choose to walk, I'd argue they've known that since Calamity, without some transcendental hand to yank them in another direction against their own will. So they certainly would not agree to be the one to dictate the fate of all those that live on Lore let alone allow someone as misguided as Jaania to do it.

Okay, I think we all knew that the void pearl was too easy a solution to deal with Akanthus and was likely not going to work but there's something absolutely amusing about Hesperrhodos being used a shield to be sent to the Void and then teleport immediately back to Lore without issue since, ya know, Elemental Spirits can just do that at any time. Hell I at least would have thought that thing would have let a monster through or something. The downside to seeing Zvezdana looking completely slack-jawed after these events unfolded is the fact that we still don't have a damned plan to take Akanthus out of commission...so yeah.

I have to say I love this final appeal Jaania gives to the trio of combatants because it shows a few things. First, that she still fails to understand that her organization was really only giving the illusion of peace to all those the dwelt within range of the Rose's reach and even then only really through the lens of normal humans. Second, it displays that she never truly had a proper grasp on the relationship she fostered with those she worked alongside. Lastly, she places too much hope that wanting the same things is not the same as agreeing ideologically how get those things.

Which inevitably leads to one option: Violence

I have waited 12. long. years. for this very moment. 12 years spent waiting since we broke free from that ice cap. 8 years I waited since from the first time we saw her again in Timelines. 7 years since the original Gala and our spat. 4 years since dealing with the second rift and I had a deeper appreciation for her mental state which motivates her.

And now I am finally here to fight Jaania one on one. So, you best believe I fought alone to prove which of us was could beat the other!

The following boss fight that ensues is perhaps one of the best thematic story fights in the entire game at this point, as it should be for the antagonist that is the face for this entire saga. I'm quite pleased that devs designed her to be difficult, hell I'm even glad that couldn't easily soul gambit my way out of this one.

In terms of mechanics, it's everything you could expect, Jaania does everything she can to debuff us and each time she fails and has her health cut down in bulk she commands even more strength to take us down, even attempting to go for the old freeze'em solid trick and when that doesn't draw any purchase thanks to Aegis she relies on her new found soul weaving arts to dispatch us. All the while we deal with the tragic music in the background tugging at the heart strings for a conflict that should have been avoided.

How far we've come since the Doom Amulet was our first real challenge in-game for year, eh?

And can I say how amusing it is that Jaania trapping us in ice is something that could only work once? Aegis apparently always had the means of unfreezing, he simply couldn't due to Draco keeping everyone away from where we were placed. So, with him already being close by to protect our soul from going poof, there's no way he's going to let us get trapped again. Even more amusing is to think about how Jaania is basically using the old ice soul weaver meta to take us on.

But after all of that we prove in the end, with or without aid, to be stronger than Jaania, at least in this exact moment.

It's a pity though that the moment does not last as expected Jaania will not let it end without fighting at her full potential.

This right here is the reason I believe Jaania made her initial proposal to us and why I bring up the Maleurous saga. For me at least, it's easy to see the similarities between Jaania and Notha. Both are exceptionally powerful accomplished mages that desperately sought out to change a world that gave them deep rooted traumas that they wished to change that world so that the suffering they experienced could not continue. However, where Notha wanted to bring about chaos to change the order of the world; Jaania is hellbent on imposing order on the chaos the world of Lore and its magic offers its inhabitants. Furthermore, I suspect, unlike Notha, that Jaania cannot bring herself to reconcile with the trauma magic has placed on her life and the people she cared about. Most defining of all though, which will likely be her downfall, is her need to be in control of everything so that she or anyone else might never hurt again.

Antagonists like Jaania are always left in a hard spot. They seek to rid the world of suffering and conflict forever and while that is a noble desire they fail to realize how unfortunately intrinsic those things are to existence. Thusly they bang their heads on a wall until they're bloodied and broken only for that dream they longed for to dissipate before their very eyes.

And so, her last option is to go full synchronization. I can't guess what happens next here with Jaania. Judging by the increased streaks of white in her hair, her soul is continuing to unravel though I think she's in no worse of a state than Tomix was when he was at the end. I was originally going to say synchronizing with a corrupt spirit created through forbidden magic would spell instant catastrophe for Jaania but then I remembered Aspar was created through the same means, although he was just a fragment, so she might pull off the effect with little issue.

I suppose we must simply wait and see what becomes of our troublesome Arch Magus and where the winds will turn for her ambitions.

And of course, there's still this asshole and the doom device.

[thequietabsolute]

:: Heidegger said spare time is ecstasy ::

But Cordelia is the quiet absolute; her very silence is the still centre of the turning world.

— Ann Pasternak Slater 🐚

… and yes I said yes I will Yes.

Trieste-Zurich-Paris,

1914-1921.

(my name’s John; England is mine and it owes me a living, etc., 📻)

// Spotify

☝️if my blog appeals to you then there’s a good chance you’ll find a lot of new music you’ll like on the mix called Endymion / Aubade on here, a sort of low-key soft collection you can have on while working or reading; I’m always slowly adding to it too. Please let me know if you find anything new on there that becomes an obsession or high-table favourite for you – that’ll make my day 🎧🌻

:: personal rules and sensibilities ::

• Comitting to intellectual freedom, while disavowing and attacking ideology:

To be clear, an ideology is by definition a belief system with an inadequate basis in reality, and therefore always vulnerable to the recourse of violence (verbal and/or physical) whenever it is moved to defend itself, especially when those areas of reality-inadequacy are being highlighted. Furthermore, an ideology is in the business of aggrandising those who subscribe to it, and by definition demonising those who do not.

Solzhenitsyn wrote, ‘Physics is aware of phenomena which occur only at threshold magnitudes, which do not exist at all until a certain threshold encoded by and known to nature has been crossed. Evidently evildoing also has a threshold magnitude. Yes, a human being hesitates and bobs back and forth between good and evil all his life, but just so long as the threshold of evildoing is not crossed, the possibility of returning remains, and he himself is still within reach of our hope.’ He went on to say: … ‘The imagination and spiritual strength of Shakespeare’s evildoers stopped short at a dozen corpses, because they had no ideology.’

Ideology, along with organised religion, brings about a disastrous fusion: that of violence and self-righteousness; this allows for a savagery without stain. It provides in humans an inbuilt circuit-breaker for recognising the threshold magnitude of an evil.

• Judging or interacting with the individual on merit alone; I couldn’t care less about your perceived (actual or imaginary) disadvantages or sufferings (of an associated group or you as an individual). That’s not my problem, nor should mine be yours; to expect preferment due to them is inherently perverse and dangerous.

To be clear: I’m talking individually here, not nationally / economically; the state has certain responsibilities to all its citizens, each to their needs; this responsibility is derived from both the taxes and the social contract a polity obliges from its people.

• A disavowal of the reflexive notion that our basic sense of what is Good and Evil is reduced to the following myopic formula:

Good people or ideas = (come from) the powerless.

Bad people or ideas = (come from) the necessarily powerful.

This ought to be seen as self-evidently pernicious and inimical to any notion of development on both a personal and societal level, but somehow today is the default in western mainstream discourse. I reject it wholly and am repelled by those who promote it.

• A disavowal of race obsession; society should endeavour to be by default colourblind, while maintaining and celebrating without prejudice the multiform cultures and traditions that embody the said society, within the laws of that said same. Promoting preferment or demotion or the throttling of opportunity due to race is inherently perverse, retrograde and dangerous.

• A refusal to replace ideas with ‘identity’; your ‘identity’ is not a catch-all accessory that inures you from your actions or your espoused ideas; it is not a shield, yet it can often be a marker for your obvious subservience to an ideology, and due to passed enormities of said ideology you shouldn’t be surprised if people, and myself, don’t want anything to do with you. You’re a human being, not a capriciously customisable gnostic mannequin.

• Debate over denunciation, persuasion over mere public shaming; don’t tell me how I should think and feel about a person or idea. Ex cathedra positions are hard-won and earned; presuming this position without merit is absurd and should be exposed, and furthermore, if you’re able to and in the mood: mocked, whenever encountered.

• The rule of law over the self-righteous fury of the mob; history teaches that the mob is capable of all and any depravity, and always feels justified in the act, however obscene.

• That said, it is vital to understand that an uninformed majority will always lose a battle for information against an informed minority; it’s important to notice when a manipulative minority is holding an unaware majority to ransom. This is, again, particularly prevalent when dealing with ideologues.

[coraniaid]

Anyway, uh.

I'm not going to suddenly stop posting on here overnight or anything (as far as I know?) and I have some queued/scheduled posts I won't bother pausing, but I'm probably going to try to post here less and less (for reasons that I suppose are obvious). I wish the alternatives to Tumblr weren't all quite so bleak (and that any of them supported LaTeX) or it would be easier to just jump ship.

I never really saw the appeal of Twitter (and still don't) so the explicit Twitter clones like Bluesky are a non-starter.

Cohost seems like a nice idea on paper (and I like being able to write Markdown and create real footnotes, which was something I'm sure you used to be able to do here) but -- between playing around with it a bit and the recent(ish?) drama about the inexact wording of its terms and conditions -- I'm not sure the people running it really have any idea what they're doing or that it's sensible to expect it to even outlast Tumblr.

I was mirroring some of my longer Buffy posts on Dreamwidth for a while last year but I stopped doing that because it was a bit tedious to convert things into readable HTML and because (since I didn't and don't know anyone else who uses Dreamwidth) I was getting literally no positive feedback from doing any of it beyond the vague sense of having a backup somewhere. Might start doing that again though (or just post things there directly).

Discord obviously isn't the same thing as Tumblr at all but I think I might dig out my old and barely used Discord account later this month too. Let me know if we're mutuals and/or have ever interacted in a way you thought was positive and you want to know details.

Otherwise, well. See you in the AO3 comments, I guess.

[wrenreid]

Off Limits

Content warnings: mentions of unwanted touching, classic douchebag guy

Part Nine

So perhaps my crush on Spencer has come back. Okay, my crush on Spencer has definitely come back. But it’s suppressible. It’s manageable. Which is a good thing because he’s coming over tonight.

I’m going out with CeCe and some others later tonight, and Spencer’s going to babysit Jack. Dad has decided he needs a Friday night to himself and whiskey at the bar or he’ll go insane.

Our paths will cross, even though briefly, and I need to not show him I like him. It’ll be weird. But I have some time until said crossing of paths.

It’s only 11am right now, and I’m sitting on the couch, watching Spider-man with Jack (and thirsting over Andrew Garfield.) Dad is doing some paperwork or whatever it is he does in his home office, staring down at files with an exhausted expression written all over his face.

Spring break is ending soon, but I’d rather not think about it. Honestly, I’ve been debating on finishing the semester out online. I’ve been wanting to transfer to Georgetown here in DC anyway, but I haven’t mentioned it to Dad. He’d get too excited, and I wouldn’t want to let him down if I decided to stay in New York.

I just think it could be good for him and for Jack for me to be close. And for me too. I miss them and living at home would save me a lot of money. It would keep Aunt Jessica from having to be his nanny all the time. Really, me moving back is sensible. And it’s not like I hate it here. Sure, me and Dad but heads and I hate being controlled like he tries to do, but he’s trying to change and I’ll mature even more eventually.

“It would be so cool to swing from buildings,” Jack proclaims, pulling me away from my thoughts.

“Hell no,” I say, shaking my head. “Heights are scary.”

“Not if you had spidey senses.”

“I don’t know, Jack Jack. I think I’d still be scared sh- poopless.”

My little brother laughs at my choice of words then turns his attention back to Peter Parker on the screen.

I like when he watches the live action versions of superhero movies rather than the cartoons, and not because the actors are always hot. I find them more relatable and appealing. But also because the actors are always hot. I mean have you seen Robert Downey Jr?

We continue to watch the movie, and Peter Parker’s brilliance and nerdiness remakes Spencer pop into my mind. Which makes me annoyed because since the last time I saw him, two days ago, I’ve thought about him at least 25 times. I cannot be turning back into 17 year old me.

Dad has surprisingly not lectured me about going out tonight, but it’s not like I’m going to another party to drink. Sometimes he acts like I’m this wild child that parties every night and does drugs. Which isn’t the case at all. I’ve never even smoked weed. I almost did one time then I was convinced my dad would smell it on me when I went back home, even if it was going to be another two weeks. Anyway, since his promise to chill the fuck out, he hasn’t said much of anything about me going out. I appreciate it.

I’m hoping that if I do decide to stay here in DC, that we will create a system. One where I can hang out with friends and party as long as I’m responsible and continue my school work, which there’s absolutely no chance that I would ever sacrifice my career. I’m too much like him. One where he can go out and take a break when he needs to, and I can be here for Jack.

The time finally passes, and I start getting ready for our hangout. I’m going out with CeCe and the guy she’s talking to I suppose. They’re not officially, but they’re not seeing anyone other than each other. Anyway, he’s bringing his friend he met from college. I’ve never met his friend, but CeCe introduced me to Jacob a couple of months ago.

I slip into a little green dress and chunky white heels. It’s just a casual get together, and I have no idea why I’m dressing to impress some guy I don’t even know, but here I am, applying my eyeliner carefully so that it looks perfect. Subconsciously, I know I’m trying to impress this guy so that he can help me get over Spencer. It’s wrong, and I’m not proud, but I’m not ashamed enough to not do it.

Jack is sitting in the floor of his room, playing on the rug with little roads and houses on it for him to drive his toy trucks. I check in on him a few times to make sure he’s okay while I get ready.

“Jade?” I hear from downstairs.

I recognize Spencer’s voice the millisecond my name releases his lips. I like the way it sounds…

He still has the key from when he stayed with Jack and I.

“Upstairs,” I call back.

A few minutes later, I head down the stairs to see Jack already with Spencer. He looks up from the couch, and I swear his face turns a shade of red that almost makes me melt into a puddle in front of the door.

“W- wow,” he whispers.

I blush and move my hair from my face. “What?” I play dumb, biting my lip softly.

I have no idea what’s going on here, but I can physically feel whatever it is.

“Your dress is pretty,” he says with a soft smile.

“Yeah?” I smile, looking down at myself with a little side to side twirl, my dress flowing with each movement. “I-is there anything you need before I go?”

Spencer shakes his head. “No.”

“Call me if you end up thinking of something,” I say then grab my wristlet and phone before leaving the apartment.

“Holy shit, Jade, you look gorgeous,” CeCe grins, grabbing my hips to look me up and down.

“What this?” I shrug, pretending as if I didn’t spend 45 minutes getting ready.

“Justin is going to love you,” she wiggled her eyebrows.

“So what’s the plan exactly?” I ask.

“It’s just casual. Movie and popcorn,” CeCe says, grabbing my hand and leading me into her apartment.

Jacob and his friend, Justin, are sitting on her couch, talking when we walk up to them.

“You must be Jade,” Justin stands up, offering his hand to me.

I take it, looking to CeCe with a grin that silently says “What a gentleman.”

The four of us sit down for the movie. I honestly am convinced that CeCe let them pick a boring one just for the purpose of making out because while Justin and I suffer through the plotless film, Jacob’s tongue is down her throat.

“Hey why don’t we get some drinks?” Justin asks. “Do you have any?”

“Unfortunately, no,” CeCe frowns. “But we could go get some.” She looks to me, and I nod gently.

“Sure why not,” Jacob hops up, offering to go with her.

I press my lips together, but decide it’s fine for the two of them to go grab some drinks. It’ll give me the opportunity to get to know Justin. Hell, maybe CeCe’s boy toy’s friend will end up being my boy toy… well, not boy toy in the sense that Jacob is to Ce.

My initial thought was deemed idiotic as I stand on the porch, tears streaming down my face as the phone in my hand rings twice before the voice finally answers.

“Dr. Reid speaking,” he says into the phone, and if I wasn’t in tears I would think it was kind of cute the way he picked up.

“Hey,” I say with a timid voice.

“Jade?” Spencer asks just as I was about to tell him it was me calling.

“Yeah. Can I ask you a favor? I can’t call my dad.”

His voice is hesitant and curious when he asks, “What do you need?”

I take a deep breath, closing my eyes for a moment. “I was in a bad situation, and I need a ride home.”

“Are you hurt?” Spencer asks worriedly.

“No. I’m fine. And you really don’t have to, I just didn’t know who else to-“

“I’m coming.”

A faint, small smile creeps up onto my lips. “I’ll send you the address.”

“Thank you, Spencer,” I say gratefully, buckling my seatbelt. “Dad would’ve interrogated me and flipped shit if I told him what happened. I’m thinking maybe I should start driving myself everywhere since I’ve had to make you my uber.” I laugh softly.

“I don’t mind,” he tells me and sounds like he’s being honest. “I won’t interrogate you, but if you want to talk about what happened, you can. You look like you’ve been crying.”

Well, he sure doesn’t sugarcoat his observations. I guess I shouldn’t have expected him to. He is Spencer after all.

“You promise you won’t tell my dad?”

“As long as there was no murder involved, then yes I promise,” he says. I’m not sure if he’s joking.

“It’s nothing serious like that.” I take a breath. “I was with one of my friends and this guy she’s sort of dating. He brought a friend, so we could all hang out. We went to her place, and my friend and her boyfriend - whatever he is - went to the store to get some beer. The guy kissed me after we were talking a little, and I let him. A-and it kept going until he started touching me. I didn’t pull away because I wouldn’t have anywhere to go, and we’d just sit there awkwardly if I did. He put his hand up my dress, and I finally told him to stop. I had to say it twice. And he didn’t get angry per-say, but he seemed annoyed and said he didn’t realize I “was one of those stuck up, prissy bitches.” Word for word… anyway, I just wanted to get out of there.”

Spencer takes his eyes off the road and moves them to me for a moment. “Jade, I’m so sorry. He sounds like a real douchebag. You shouldn’t have had to go through that.”

I shrug slightly, moving my hair from my face. “It’s fine I guess. It could’ve been worse.”

“That doesn’t make it okay,” Spencer states.

“You’re right,” I say with a nod. “Things like that happen sometimes. Usually it’s just kissing when I haven’t shown any interest, and they’ll stop when I say to. I just kind of freaked out when his hand touched my lower stomach. I mean, I didn’t exactly want my first time to be with some dude I’d just met. Of course, I don’t judge people who do that. It’s just not for me. Seems awkward…” My eyes widen when I realize that not only am I rambling nervously, but I also just admitted to a guy I find extremely attractive that I’m a virgin.

ten

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