#seriously like. i teared up idk why it made me so emotional

[housecow]

thank you to everyoneee that’s offered congratulations !!!! ❤️❤️❤️ genuinely so amazing to open tumblr up and see everything, this is such an incredible community <333

[roturo]

ROLLER COASTER!

①NEW REQUEST FROM ANONYMOUS!: childhood!friends into... ???, 1 sided love, mixed emotions and smut & angst.

→ summary: every goodbye has a why, but why have you been saying a lot of goodbye's without actually leaving?

→ warnings: SMUT. angst, corruption kink, unprotected sex, p in v, fingering & oral (f!receiving), drunk sex, jealousy, 1 sided crush turns into.. idk man, a lot of angst fr, dick grayson is an idiot mwah. words: +2.5k

TUMBLR IS BASED ON A REBLOG SYSTEM. PLEASE REBLOG MY WORK. THANK YOU. ENJOY. SMUT BELOW THE CUT.

December, 2010.

¨ALFREEED! Dick is hitting me again!¨ You called for some help, a smile creeping your face.

¨Hey! That's not fair! We're training! You're supposed to get hurt! It's not my fault you're way too weak to protect yourself.¨ He pointed the training-stick to you, motioning to get up, but his action quickly stopped when he saw a tear running down your cheek.

¨Hey, hey, hey¨ He knelt down in-front of you cupping your cheek and wiped the tear away with his thumb. ¨I'm sorry, okay?, you're not weak, i'm just better than you.¨ That made you jokingly punch him on his stomach at which he only chuckled. ¨Okay, maybe not better than you, but practice makes perfect, c'mon, get up and let's watch some tv.¨

As a kid, you couldn't know what you felt for Dick, you mostly though he was 'special' since he was the only kid living with you and Wayne. A 11 year old knows what's love, and you're sure Dick, as a 14 year old knows it too. He's likely to not think very seriously when you tell him you love him, but in reality?

He's the beast for your beauty.

December, 2014.

You gazed at Dick through curious-lashed eyes, your heart pounding with a mix of nerves and adoration. You had been harboring a secret crush on him for what felt like forever. But as much as you treasured this friendship, you couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness.

"So, Dick," you began, voice light and teasing, "any thoughts on the winter gala this weekend?¨

Dick's eyes lifted from the book he'd been engrossed in, confusion creasing his forehead. "Winter gala? Oh man, I totally forgot about that. Should we go?"

Your heart sank slightly, but tried to hide it behind a smile. "Hmm, I don't know. I'm not much of a dancer, you know."

Dick laughed, his melodic chuckle resonating in the serene surroundings. "Come on, you just need someone to teach you a few moves."

Your stomach fluttered at the suggestion, butterflies dancing wildly within you. Did Dick just imply he would teach you how to dance? Or were you reading too much into it?

Your laughter filled the air as Dick playfully tried to demonstrate dance steps on the carpet of grass, and much to your delight, you followed along, attempting your own clumsy version.

Hours passed until both of you were breathless from dancing and laughing. You plopped down onto the picnic blanket, side by side, shoulders brushing intimately.

Your mind started to wander, daydreaming about what it would be like if he ever realized your feelings. Would he reciprocate? Or would he still see you as just a friend?

"You know," Dick suddenly said, his voice laced with mischief, "if I had someone who danced with such enthusiasm as you, I wouldn't mind going to the gala at all."

ba-boom, ba-boom, you were sure you're going to pass out. Your eyes widening in disbelief. Could it be that he was finally taking notice of you?

"Really? You… you'd want that… from me?"

Dick tilted his head, his dazzling blue eyes capturing your gaze. "Of course, why not? You're amazing, and being with you always makes me happy."

Leaning against Dick's shoulder, you closed your eyes, basking in the warmth of the friendship of you two. Maybe, just maybe, someday he would see you in a different light. But for now, you're just cherishing these moments of pure, unadulterated fun.

December, 2017.

You were at Dick's 21st birth-day, which, Wayne made the 'reunion' for his birth-day, or what he likes to call it, his 'gala'. Your excitement was jumping everywhere, you even bought a new dress for this occasion, his present was a nice bracelet you bought by yourself, with your money.

It wasn't the most expensive, neither the most fancy, but it was made just for him. Unique in this world, well, the matching bracelets were unique in this world. You were ready to finally confess your love for him, bracelets with initial of you two, not because you're owned by the other, but because you know each other. It was your princess dream, and it was finally time for this.

After some final touches, you were ready. Entering the room, you could see a lot of people, mostly Wayne's acquaintances or friends, but you finally spotted him, actually, with Wayne.

You couldn't quite see what was he wearing since you only could see his back, but Wayne seemed happy, at least.

With quick steps, careful to not trip yourself with your dress, and throw away his present, you finally got closer to him.

¨Dicky! I know I already said happy birthday to you, but look-... Oh.¨

Oh.

Who was this girl?

¨Oh Y/N, great you're here, look this is my new girlfriend, her name is Daisy.¨ You locked eyes with her, she seemed nice, ha. ¨Daisy, this is Y/N, she's like my little sister, practically known her my whole life.¨

Oh wow.

¨It's a pleasure to meet you Y/N¨

¨Pleasure it's mine.¨ And with that, it was enough for you, how oblivious this fucker can be? ¨Dick, can we talk for a moment?¨ You didn't even waited for him to answer when you already grabbed his wrist and took him into his room.

When you were at your room, you couldn't take it anymore and broke down crying.

You wandered further into the room, gaze avoiding his as you tried to gather the turbulent thoughts. The weigh of your confession threatening to choke the words from your throat. But you had to do this, even if it costs the friendship.

"I-I've been keeping something to myself for a while," voice quivering. "And I just couldn't hold it in any longer. Dick, I've had a crush on you for as long as I can remember."

His brows furrowed in confusion, and you glanced up for a fleeting moment, catching a glimpse of his girlfriend's picture on his desk. Pain surged through your chest, but you proceeded. "I know you have a girlfriend now, and I understand if you don't feel the same way. But I just couldn't let this day go by without telling you how I feel, this was supposed to be the day, when you think i'm not longer a little child, where you could love me as I do."

Words trembling with vulnerability. Dick remained silent for a moment, his expression laden with guilt. Slowly he closed the distance between you two. His gentle touch on your arm made your heart skip a beat, yet it also stung with unrequited affection.

"I'm really sorry," he murmured, his voice filled with regret. "I never meant to hurt you or lead you on. You've been an amazing friend, and I don't want to lose that.¨

¨I'm sorry, but we can't be friends anymore... I will always see you as something else.¨

PRESENT TIME.

You didn't exactly cut connections with Dick, well, since you both lived in the same house for a while more, but let's say you remained as... distant family. You saw each-other at parties, meetings, galas, so... you were still in contact!

Gratefully, not that you would show your happiness, he broke up with his girlfriend, way too manipulative and control freak. But that's not all!, you grew up, your feelings for him didn't disappeared, but you hid them far away from you.

He already knew your boyfriend, he acted kind and nice about it, not that both of you could talk a lot about it.

This gala was made by Wayne, again. Dick got really distant since he resigned from being Robin, and started a new group of Titans, you were a little jealous about it, but mostly sad for not being part of it.

You were talking with some of your boyfriend's friends, some boring conversation about some new business, which you couldn't care less about, but you caught a familiar silhouette not so far from where you are.

Apparently he brought the titans with him, you don't know them personally, just by news, magazines, and well, because of him.

And to say you weren't a little tipsy was a lie. But who could blame you? But being drunk also brings some... distortions about what's really happening. He was drinking too! With another girl!

After some time of asking for more shots, getting all touchy with your boyfriend, just so he could look at you, he's been doing the same, getting all touchy and flirty with her. Everything was like a competition of who would get more jealous first and leave. And well, like he said once, he's better than you.

With clumsy steps, somehow you made into your old room. Memories coming fast liken a roller coaster, emotions beating out the small chest you tried to forget all this time, you needed him.

Clicking his number on your phone, it's like he was waiting for it, like this was going to happen.

¨Heyyyyy' Dicky'- Hic!¨ you giggled at the sudden hiccup, and you could tell Dick was giggling too, it made your heart beat faster. ¨What's wrong little bee?¨ He said, some unrecognizable background noise was getting less and less loud. ¨Little beeeeee'? What's that- hic! type of nickname?¨ Both of you just laughed at the sudden and dumb conversation between two idiots in love.

¨You know... My boyfriend is a little- he- a little shit.¨

¨He's worse than my ex? No waaaaay¨ He said with a chuckle.

¨Yeah, he's been fucking some other girl... I don't know for how much time, but it's been a whileeeee¨ You started laughing suddenly, ¨And you know what I hate most? hic!- It's that surely you been fucking some other bitchees heh-.... bitches before me. You know I hate you for that right love?¨

¨You don't how many nights I been jacking off by myself thinking about you ever since we distanced apart. I didn't realized how much I needed you to be in myyyy life.¨

¨...........¨

¨...............¨

¨.... Dicky... I need you¨

¨Oh... you do princess? Where do you need me?¨

¨In my room, I need you now¨

¨And for what princess? I'm going there.¨ He was giggling while walking.

¨I need you to fuck me for once.¨

That's the last thing he heard when he hang up and with quick steps he got into your room, and with no words needed both of you started kissing each other, between giggles with just one sudden push and you landed among the sheets. Dick got on top of you and started kissing you as you started tugging at the hem of his shirt.

Dick's shoulders were wide, his hips narrow and there was a visible V-line that was half-hidden by his trousers. You were trying not to stare, but it seemed impossible since he was so appealing. Dick helped you to unzip your dress and you were lying only in you lace lingerie. His eyes were devouring you. How he couldn't notice how perfect you were for him?

Suddenly, Dick grabbed you calves and pulled you towards him on the edge of the bed. His free hand reached out for a pillow that was laying nearby and placed it under you hips. You were following closely his every move and your head started spinning a bit, a side effect of the substances in your bloodstream. He kneeled in-between your thighs and was placing small kisses on your bare skin.

His fingers pulled your panties to the side while he looked you in the eye before dragging his tongue over your clit. ¨Ah!- Nng- D..Dick!¨ You moaned at the sensation and reached out to touch his hair. His warm breath was caressing you, his movements were lazy yet precise.

You were getting frustrated with the slow tempo and you were about to say something when he pressed his index finger against your entrance. It didn’t take too long before you were moaning his name as he added another digit. Again, the pool of heat was starting to build up in your stomach while he curled his fingers inside you. Dick seemed amazed by how eagerly your hips were meeting his palm, the wet sounds of him moving his fingers inside you, made him eager to fuck you, he brushed his thumb against your clit once more before giving a small peck and standing up, taking of his pants and what was left of your clothes, he positioned himself between your legs.

You saw Dick right before he thrust his hips to enter you again. Your body was warm, already so fucking wet, he didn’t think he could last long enough for it to be fun, but then he steadied himself and slowed down the pace. He ran a finger across your lips, signaling to open them at which and you opened them wide enough to suck on it. 

He bent over only to start leaving kisses in your neck that would for sure be purple by tomorrow. ¨Aren't you a good girl princess? A good, good girl.¨

¨Such a nice girl for me, I bet no one else has touched this pussy.¨

¨You- you're, ah!~ right, Dicky-, You're the first one to fuck me. Reaching a lot of place my fingers couldn't reach while thinking of you.¨

It's like something on Dick turned on, and started violently thrust into you in a bestial force, making you cum when his cock touched that place. His eyes were even darker, his dilated pupil taking over his blue-crystal eyes.

¨Oh yeah? I'm the first one to fuck you?¨

¨Ye-yes, other b-boys tried to give me pleasure on other ways and couldn't do it as good, nhg!~ as you.¨

His thrusts started becoming harder instead of faster, the though of another man fingering you made him mad. You were now his.

“You are driving me insane and I’m this close to losing my shit because of you.”

¨Make me yours Dick.¨

The next day, Dick was kissing your naked body while you were hugged on his, since you were kids you were always the small spoon. He was observing how he could never notice how perfect you are, you were always for him, you were the one.

He feels so incredible right now, the chemistry both of you have, it's amazing.

His fucking phone started ringing.

¨Fuck, the Titans meeting, shit.¨ He looked at your sleepy body and decided to dress you up, and obviously dress himself.

He forgot to leave you a note to notice you he's coming back, but you only realized once he woke you up knocking on your door.

He had... flowers?

¨Dick, why are you here?¨

¨Look Y/N, I know yesterday was a roller coaster of emotions, and I feel so dumb for never loving you the way you deserved to, but please, give me a chance, you won't regret it, and I guess you and your boyfriend-¨

¨Dick.¨

¨Just hear me out for a minute okay?, I never wanted to admit it, mostly because I thought I would lose you, not because of you, but because of me, I don't know what problem I have, but that doesn't matter right now-¨

¨Dick.¨

¨I will fight for us no matter what, and last night definitely wasn't an accident-¨

¨Dick! What are you talking about? What happened yesterday? Did I say something when you came into my room? Did I told you something personal when I called you?! Oh my god...¨

Were you lying?... He froze for a moment, the flowers fell from his hands, and he just started walking away. Is this true? You don't remember?

It feels like the beginning when you both grew apart, it's really hard to adapt at what's going on inside his head. Was yesterday an accident? Does he really loves you? Do you love him?

Why does this feels like a goodbye?

[arachnoia]

gone ➶ . ˚ ༉‧₊˚ˑ༄ؘ | miguel o’hara

miguel o'hara x fem! reader

a/n: i think that atp, im just a miguel o’hara writer (not that im complaining but gimmie requests pls !! theyre open on my acc !!) this is also a drabble ive been wanting to write because i’ve always wanted to write angst (well tbh idk what this is?) but wasn’t sure how to? lowkey i want this to be a story that isn’t just a one shot but lmk if you guys want more of this? im just trying stuff out!

pt2 - ‘holy shock’ pt 3- ‘finally’

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

“Breathe in, breathe out...”

The beautiful city stunned you as you stood on top of a random building, breathing in its modern, refreshing look.

It kind of took your breath away, contradictory to what you just told yourself a few seconds ago.

You barely finished another mission as your universe’s one and only Spider-Silk. Was it tiring? Hell yes, no doubt. But you never took a moment to actually admire Earth-928’s Nueva York, where Spider Society headquarters was located. Nueva York was also the place where you were if it wasn’t fighting crime and going to grad school in your own universe’s New York.

You usually swing to the top of a business building, a little bit far from Spider Society headquarters. It was quiet and peaceful. It was your thinking place where you could release any emotions you wanted to spill when you couldn’t anywhere else since you can’t really spill your emotions if you were to be taken seriously.

Plus, the one person who you expressed your deepest emotions, is gone.

As you simply stared into space while remembering the feeling you felt this morning.

You noticed some tears gathering at the outside corners of your eyes. Your eyelids began to droop, and you began to sob quietly as your chest hurt from, what some call “heartbreak”.

To be completely honest though, it was just melancholy and depression from what happened hours prior.

You couldn’t say that the emotion you felt for him or what you feel is loving him because it wasn’t love.

It felt like something stronger. But you knew it wasn’t reciprocated back.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

“So why don’t you just kick your professor’s ass?” Miguel joked. His laugh made you feel warm inside. It was a cute laugh in your opinion.

The two of you were sitting down, at the building you like to think at, munching on sweet, baked, fig empanadas from a lady's restaurant in your universe. Doña Rosa? She was a nice lady and safe to say, Miguel would definitely come back for the empanadas.

“Please, O’Hara. I’d get simply kicked out and would have to never show my face ever again…But the bastard deserves it for ripping apart my paper on exploring different dimensions with colliders!”

He chuckled. “Right, because you have experience. Do you not? Y/l/n?”

“EXACTLY. BUT NOT EVEN GRAMMARLY HELPED ME NOT GO THROUGH HIS REIGN OF TERROR!” You felt pissed, but Miguel found it absolutely hilarious to see you worked up as you angrily took a bite out of your empanada. It was cute.

“Swear to god, that bitch is scarier than most of the stupid anomalies we fight,” You pouted and glanced at him. He looked like he was trying to not start laughing even harder than he was before. “Y/l/n. Just calm down it doesn’t matter. Plus didn’t you mention it was like 10% of your grade? You’ll be fine it’s not that bad.”

You smirked at him. “Oh, so you’re trying to say it’s still bad?”

“No…but look at me.” You turned to his direction as he placed his empanada on a napkin next to the rest of the lot and he rested his hands on your shoulders.

“Breathe in. Breathe out.” You chuckled at his direction.

“Miguel, you sound like a yoga instructor."

“No no, I’m being serious here! No dejas que esa mierda te moleste, okay?”

You raised your eyebrow and smiled playfully. “Alright, like you’re the calmest person on this Earth,” He laughed. “I’m not but you’re not like me. I don’t want that to affect you, especially because it doesn’t matter.”

“Now. Breathe in…”

You softly smiled at him, to which he returned, “And breathe out.”

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

“It's pleasant, isn't it?” Peter replied as he began to go in your direction, breaking up your train of thought. He and Mayday gave you a sad look as they walked over to hug your shaky form.

“How-?”

“Y/n, I saw you swinging here after barely teleporting here. What’s wrong?”

You didn’t know what to say. You felt a metaphoric weight on your shoulders as you struggled to tell Peter.

“Was it perhaps…Miguel?” You felt like laughing. Here you were, crying while Peter was acting full-on dad and Mayday was playing with her Spider-Man beanie. It would be a very unusual sight to someone who was just viewing you three at a distance.

“I’m just going to take that as a yes,” Peter said as he sat down on the roof and patted to the space next to him. “Take a seat, Y/l/n.”

You followed his directions and sat down.

It was quiet and a bit windy. It gave you a sad memory and you felt like you were drowning in it.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

You felt a rush of anxiety and couldn’t breathe.

“I CAN’T. I CAN’T DO IT, O’HARA," you screeched, scratching Miguel's arm in excruciating pain.

“YES YOU CAN, Y/L/N!! CALM DOWN!”

The two of you were in a mission to stop an anomaly. You were one of the first to start attacking…and one of the first to be badly injured. Your right thigh was impaled with several medium sized pieces of glass from being thrown to a glass building and you ran out of webs to shoot. You froze and wanted to cry, feeling vulnerable.

Miguel went over to try to help you as the other Spiders went to attack said anomaly. You knew each other as friends since you were one of the first Spiders ever to be recruited to the Spider Society so you knew each other pretty well. When he saw you injured, he quickly saved some civilians and rushed to your direction.

“Yes, you can Y/l/n. Look at me. Breathe in.” Your eyes widened as you saw him grab the largest piece of glass. He had 2 pieces of cloth with him. “No, stop looking at them and look at me. Breathe in, goddamn it.”

You stared at him and he gave you a piece to bite down. You tried to calm down as he took the piece out and screamed into the cloth. “I’m going to wrap it up, okay?” He said, earning a nod from you. “Good girl. Now breathe in…”

“…Breathe out.” You said.

“That’s my girl,” He said as he smiled at you and carried you with the rest of the civilians.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

“Breathe in, breathe out,” You whispered. Saying that phrase now just made your tongue feel bitter. Like eating a sour candy except it doesn’t turn out sweet at the end, but just making you frown.

Peter smiled and turned to you, “Now tell me what happened, kid. People don’t just run away before saying hi to their favorite person, therefore being me? !”

You scoffed, “Peter, no offense but why does it matter to you? You should be focusing on other things other than my well-being.”

Peter raised his eyebrow and rolled his eyes. “Listen, kid. You and the other Spiders like Gwen or Miles, matter to me.”

He covered Mayday’s ears. “Shit, even Miguel. If I see you mopey and sad and what not, of course, I’m going to be worried!”

“Really?” You were shocked. No one really has given you that fatherly attention like Peter has.

The only one who would really listen to you, was Miguel. But you can’t really rely on him now, can you?

“Yup. Now tell me what’s going on? Is everything okay?” Your breath hitched and you froze.

You then took a deep breath, sighed, and smiled bitterly.

“Miguel, he told me he wants me gone from his life,” you said as you felt a sudden pang in your chest.

Just feeling those words leave your lips made the melancholy come back even stronger.

And it hurt like fucking hell.

[7ndipity]

Latibule

Namjoon x Reader

Summary: After someone close to you breaks your trust yet again, you go to your safe place, Joon.

Warnings: angst, swearing, implied toxic relationship/home life, not proofread

A/N: I wrote this like a month ago when I needed to vent, but I thought some of y'all might appreciate it, so I'll share it here. I almost feel like it could be the start of a series, but idk, lmk what you think?(Also, I tried to leave the 'they' in question vague, so it could be an ex, family, friend or whatever you prefer.)

Masterlist

Requests are open

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

Joon being wide awake at three in the morning was far from out of the ordinary, he'd often said that he did some of his best work at night, having passed more than his fair share of sleepless nights writing.

You however, were usually long dead to the world at this hour, which is why when his phone screen lit up with your name, he was quick to answer.

"Hey y/n."

"Joon?" The shake in your voice instantly put made him sit up straighter, concerned.

"What happened?"

"Can... can I come over?" You asked.

"Of course." He said, without hesitation. "Are you okay? Do you need me to get you?"

"I'm fine." You said, but he knew that wasn't fully true, it was clear you'd been crying. "I just don't want to stay here tonight."

"Come over. Do you want me to set up our usuals?" He asked.

"Sure." You responded.

Over the course of your friendship, you two had developed a near ritual of whenever one of you was upset, you'd go over to the other's place to talk, usually over some sort of drinks.

You couldn't count how many nights you'd spent camped out on each other's sofas, or sometimes beds, ranting about everything from shitty ex's, family or work problems, or even just that one neighbor who never waved back at you. It didn't necessarily fix any of the issues, but it was comforting nonetheless to have someone who would lend a sympathetic ear or a shoulder to cry on.

He could tell whatever happened must have been bad. Normally, when you called, you would already be giving him the rundown of whatever had happened, so your quietness on the other end of the phone was more than a little worrying.

You showed up not long after, your sweats and oversized hoodie making you seem even smaller to him than normally.

Skipping over any greeting, he immediately pulled you into a tight, protective hug.

"What happened?" He asked again, but you just shook your head.

"Not yet." You mumbled, trying to soak in his soothing warmth. It was remarkable how easily the simple gesture from him never failed to give you such a sense of comfort and safety.

Once you finally separated, he quickly got you situated on the couch with your drinks, waiting patiently for you to begin.

"They lied, again." You said, staring at the floor as you spoke. "I thought things were getting better. I thought we were getting past it, but they fucking lied, right to my face."

The grip on his glass tightened as he listened to you explain, his long simmering anger and frustration at your situation rising to a boil.

"Fuck 'em." He said suddenly.

You looked up at him in surprise.

"I mean it," he said seriously. "You've put up with this shit for long enough. If they can't even have the basic decency to be honest with you, after everything that's happened, then fuck 'em. You deserve so much better than that, than them."

Caught off guard by the intensity of his words, you were hit with a sudden wave of emotion, trying desperately to blink back tears but failing.

"Shit, I'm sorry! Please don't cry." He apologized, frantically scrambling over to pull you into another hug.

"Why are you always so nice to me?" You sniffled.

He looked at you for a moment, unsure of how to answer other than the simple truth. "Because it's what you deserve."

You sat together for a while until your tears ceased and he noticed you drooping on his shoulder and suggested going to bed, waiting till he felt your breaths even out next to him before drifting off as well.

You woke in the morning to the loud clang of cookware and quiet curses.

"Joon?" You called groggily, finding him milling about the kitchen, looking slightly frazzled.

"Sorry babe, did I wake you?" He asked.

"Nah, it's fine." You said, ignoring the term of endearment he reserved for the nights you you stayed over. "What are you doing?"

"Making breakfast, or at least trying to." He said, stirring a pan of eggs uncertainly.

"Here, let me." You offered, taking over as he watched.

"So, um, I was thinking..." He said, trailing off uncertainly.

"Hmm?" You hummed.

"What if you just... stayed here?" He asked nervously. "At least for a little bit?"

You looked up in surprise. "Here?"

"Yeah, I mean, if you want to." He said, fiddling with his sleeves awkwardly. "It's nice having you around, and you're here all the time anyway and I...

"I don't want you to go back there." He said quietly. "They're not good for you, so I thought maybe you could just... be here?"

Slowly, you nodded. "I think I'd like that."

He smiled, relieved. "Good."

[ddarker-dreams]

Patiently waiting for your thoughts on Fontaine’s new archon quest 🫡

oh man. i do have some thoughts to share.

(warning for spoilers to those who haven't played through the latest archon quest)!

OKAY, so — overall? i enjoyed it. the fortress of meropide section felt a little tedious at times, i'm begging mihoyo to abandon those awful 'stealth' 'gameplay' sections. aside from that though, i was always interested enough to keep moving ahead. i especially like how they wrote navia. the story of her and her father got me emotionally invested in her as a character, i actually teared up at one point.

i was glad they avoided their infamous 'introduce a character and have them betray you' shtick. idk if that was a quota they had to reach before and that's why they did it so often, but in any case, it made for a refreshing change. the reveal of fontaine's history, the serial disappearances, focalors and furina; there were lots of intriguing story beats. furina's story might somehow be one of the saddest in genshin yet?? the execution of the reveal and the final conversation between focalors and neuvillette packed a strong emotional punch.

onto my gripes...

childe. why. why'd they do my man like that. the buildup was so interesting! the cutscene where he helps neuvillette subdue the space whale had me frothing at the mouth. him in his foul legacy armor ... his leitmotif playing... him growling and grunting.... oh, how happy i was, naïve thing that i am. i was a bit confused how they dedicated a total of three seconds to traveler and the floating fiend going 'oh wow there's childe ig.' like ??? at this point in the story, i thought they were sorta buddies??

the space whale's execution confused me. i expected it to be deeply tied to fontaine's past, or at the very least give some abyss bread crumbs, but it just kinda flopped around and stuff. the fight was cool, don't get me wrong. but the whole 'yeah this whale is some dude's pet lol' bit just felt odd. i get that they want to prove the Big Important Name Fella is suuuper important and suuuper strong but c'mon. at least make the space whale a creation that ran rampant or something.

i could've forgiven the space whale shenanigans if we got a nice conversation with childe at the end. how did he feel in the abyss? was he fighting the whale to keep the people of fontaine safe, out of bloodlust, or something in between? what was it like seeing skirk again? how much time felt like it passed when he was in whale abyss prison? does his vision resonate with him properly again?

instead, we just get a few throwaway lines that he's back in snezhnaya healing up. did they run out of budget to book his VA?? i get they have to be selective with lore drops, but there are so many ways around that.

my last major gripe is how they went about furina's character quest. maybe i'm just an oversensitive weenie (i definitely am), but the traveler and flying creature's interactions with furina... i was physically grimacing. how did they seriously think it was a good idea to ask the person who has been tormented by acting for 500 years to give the stage another shot? imo, it would've been fine if they tried that, furina rejected them, and everything played out about the same. but those bits where traveler + the imp kept pressuring furina felt so weeeeeeird. i genuinely didn't want to click the dialogue options. if this was framed differently, that would've also been fine, but it's kinda a 'haha :3 epic paimon says teehee te nandayo reddit gold' light.

tl;dr i liked the overall experience but someone needs to delete paimon from the game + treat their characters as more than a punchline.

[sugawarassoccerlover]

safe haven (Dazai x gn!reader)

murrhehhehehe this was the “project” @simpin-for-sugawara, hope you enjoy >:)

warnings: idk, crying? reader has had some bad days. alcohol is mentioned

this was rushed as fuck I’m sorry

“Hey there buddy, you doing alright?” the bandaged man spoke as he sat down next to you.

“Mhm,” you mumbled, 

“Woah, did you just ‘mhm’ me? Something must be seriously wrong here! Come on, you know you can tell me! After all, I am Dazai, the most trusted-” 

“Okay, okay, I get it,” you cut him off, laughing. “Life’s just been a little. Not so fun lately, you know?” 

Dazai propped his arms up on the table, head on his hands as he gasped overdramatically. “How horrible!” 

You rolled your eyes. “It’s not that horrible, Dazai. Just some bad days.” 

His face suddenly turned serious. “You’re not happy, so it is. Well,” he sighed. “If you’re not going to tell me, I’m at least not going to sit around and let you be sad!” 

“Wha-huuHhh?- DAZAI LET GO OF ME-“ you shrieked as you were grabbed by the wrist and dragged to your feet.

While he lead you out of the Agency’s office and down to the street, he didn’t answer any more of your questions. He was strangely silent, which was unusual for him. Dazai was usually so predictable, but yet a complete mystery to you. The path he took you down was familiar to you, but you couldn’t quite guess where you were going. It wasn’t until you were in front of his place that you realized he had taken you to his place. 

He unlocked the door, gesturing for you to step inside. You did, and he followed, then leading you to the kitchen. He fetched a bottle of merlot, popping off the cork. “I figured a good glass of wine would do the both of us some good, no?” 

You chuckled to yourself. “You are too much, Dazai.” 

“Aww, love you too,” he smirked as he poured both of your glasses. 

He brought you over to his couch, sitting down and gesturing for you to also. You say next to him, his hand smoothly and comfortably going to rest on your leg. You gave him a side glance as you sipped your wine. 

He began to ramble, about nothing at all. About his latest schemes, his ploys to mess with Kunikida, about Atsushi, about his work in the agency. His voice, his stories, no, he made you smile. You found all of his antics to be endearing. He found a way to make the less enjoyable parts of life to be far more enjoyable, and you loved him for it. 

“Hey there, you think you wanna tell me why you’re crying?” Dazai’s voice cut through your thoughts. 

You felt the wetness on your face as you came back to reality. Dazai was studying your face with a concerned look. When you didn’t reply to him, he sighed, moving the hand on your leg to go around your back, the other over your shoulders, pulling you to his chest. Your face rested on his shoulder, wide blank eyes shedding tears onto his coat. 

You really weren’t quite sure why you were crying, wether it was the weight of the world, or the contrast of the comfort of Dazai’s home compared to your own, or both. You knew one thing though, Dazai made you feel safe. 

“‘M fine, Dazai. I just… I just need a moment,” you said through your tears.

“I’d give you more than a moment, dove,” Dazai murmured into your hair.

“Charmer,” you muttered.

“Love of my life,” he replied. 

“My significant annoyance.” 

Dazai chuckled slightly, pressing soft kisses to the top of your head. His hold on you was firm, yet gentle. He wasn’t going to let go of you, but certainly wasn’t going to keep you trapped either. Somehow, everything felt right when you were like this. Your tears began to dry, and your breaths evened out. The world was uncertain, but the one certain thing you could rely on was this safe haven in his arms. No matter how unsteady, you would always be able to find refuge with Dazai. He was home.

It wasn’t long before your emotions had zapped away your energy, and you yawned.

“A bit tired there, love?” Dazai asked, brushing a strand of hair from your face. 

You nodded sleepily. 

“Fall asleep then, I’ll be here when you wake up.” 

[mimikittysblog]

✨MimiKitty's 2023 Fic Wrapped✨

So as a fun activity my friends all decided to make a 2023 wrapped ppt! So I decided to make one for all the fics I read in 2023! (I didnt get to present it btw lol)

I put what I decided to be my top fics for each month! Whether it be because of amazing writing, gut wrenching angst, sickeningly cute fluff or nastiest smut I decided to put it as my favorite fic for that month!

NOTE: Some of these were not exactly written/published in the month that I put them in but it was when I read and/or reblogged it!

Now without any further ado! Here is my 2023 Fic wrapped!

January

Happiness by @end-hyphen

Why is painter hoon so attractive???? 😭 The angst in this fic is SO GOOD! Its just really memorable and I love the ending too! ALSO THE PLOT TWISTS?!?! I was gagged yo. I was gripping my phone when I was reading this!!! It's just a really beautiful well written fic! Loooove it so much!!

February

In Another Life by @httphannie

First of all the smut was great!! Loved it! But maaann THE ANGST THROUGH OUT THE WHOLE FIC IS SO GOOD!! The ending is one of the most tear jerking, gut wrenching, heart breaking, soul crushing endings I've ever read. SEUNGCHEOL!! YOU SHOULD'VE JUST FUCKIN ESCAPED PLEASEEEE! I remember BAWLING when I first read it, and ✨surprise surprise✨ I cried again just recently when I reread it again. Its so beautifully written, I get every emotion thats poured into this fic and the story itself is so good and unique in a way I just love it! (also kinda funny but love how this is the only SVT fic that made it on this list 😂😂😂)

March

More than This by @heesbaby

KITTY JAY!!!!!!!!!!!

Thats all.

But in all seriousness, this is a wonderful smau!! I loved every bit of it!! Its so cute and soft! Jay is so BABY KITTY 🥹🥹🥹 I love him to bits! And the funny parts are also so funny! The smut is also good but to me its also so cute too! ALSO THE ANTAGONIST MAKES ME WANT TO COMMIT ARSON HOW DARE SHE HURT MY PRETTY BBY JAY!!! But when a fic gets me reacting like that you know its good! Overall an amazing smau! Love love!

April

The Archer and His Queen by @forjongseong

ARCHER JAY GOT ME ACTING UP DUDEEEE!!! The thought its so hot but you wanna know whats hotter??? HOW RESPECTFUL HE IS THROUGH OUT THIS FIC!! He truly respects his Queen and then truly falls in love with her?!? I CANNOT! Also I like how unique it is! In a way that Jay isn't a knight, not a prince, not a king, not just like a commoner, but an archer. Idk I just like how different it is, how often is it to have the love interest be an archer? (I'm sure pretty common but I rarely see it hehe) plus.. again, thats hot 🥰 The smut is so gooooood!! and the ending is adorable!

May

Ship Happens by @/tfwheeseung

MERMAID JAKE!!!!! Like. MERMAID! JAKE!! Now this story, I don't think any of you can read it anymore? as tfwheeseung (lily) has deactivated. So thats a shame, but if theres a way you can read it please do!! Its so cute and so funny! Jake is like a mermaid pup combined he's adorable here!! HE JUST WANTED TO CATCH YOU A FISH!!! How adorable is that?! Its just a simple and adorable fic that I cant stop giggling about every time I think about it!

June

Angels Like You by @ham-st4r

OH THIS ONE IS SOOOOOOO GOOOOOD!! DUDE THE HEART BREAK I FELT FOR HEESEUNG IN THIS FIC AAAAAAA!!

“I believed that you had changed, I really did,” // “I gave you my heart” // "I trusted you with my body,” //“I-I loved you”

Heart breaking dude 😭😭😭 Like how dare the reader break this soft boys heart!! BUT THE ENDING IS SO BEAUTIFUL!!! LIKE AAAA!! I shed some tears!! Overall I truly absolutely adooooree this fic!!! Plus reading it while listening to the song makes you cry harder 👍

July

Hype Boy by @onlyjaeyun

DOMESTIC JAKE!!! Bro Jakes backstory man 😔😔😔 I've never heard of anything sadder like I FEEL SO BAD FOR HIM AND HIS ADORABLE AND ANGEL OF A BABY BROTHER! I adore the Sim brothers so much and I will do anything I can to protect them AAAAAAAAAA!!!! Hype Boy is such an adorable and sad smau but it ends so beautifully! Jake has an amazing support system in this smau and just the love he has for his baby brother and the reader is unmatched I love love love!!

August

Rule Number 1: Don't Fall in Love by @jaylaxies

Dude idk why I love fake dating tropes, especially when its to get revenge! So I was hooked from the beginning!!! So HAHAHAH GET FUCKED HOON! Jake is SUCH A GREEN FLAG THROUGH OUT THIS ENTIRE THING ITS GORGEOUS TO READ!!!! Also Undercut Jake?!?!? 🤭 yes pleaseeeeee!! also this one?? the smut?? oh yeah it is NASSTYYYYY IN A GOOD WAY AND I LOVE THATT!! But the aftercare is just perfect!! This is a reaaaalllyy good fic that I always find myself constantly rereading!

September

Poison by @onlyjaeyun

Oh wow another onlyjaeyun smau??? well duh when this on is just AN ABSOLUTE MASTERPIECE!!!! LIKE OOOHH MY GOD IS THIS ONE AMAZING! Like heeseung is so... AKJSJS I HAVE NO WORDS 😭 The fact he actually gets off on the readers pleasure??? HOT BRO. And how can I not put this as the best thing I read during september when it has lines like THIS:

"I've never wanted anyone as much as I want you, princess" // "I just can't break this promise, Sunghoon is my everything",

"and what about me? What am I to you?"

"My most precious treasure."

Do I need to explain further??? Yeah. I thought so 😊

October

Come Back to Me by @enhaheeseung

This entire series was a rollercoaster of a read. Like the way I went from "FUCK YOU HEESEUNG!" to "NO WAIT TAKE HIM BACK" to "YES GO HEESEUNG GO!!" to "HEESEUNG YOU DICKHEADDD" to "Oh god you poor thing" to "Omg yay! theyre together 🥰" is absolutely amazing!! As this was a series, every time I saw a notification for the next part of this fic showed up I immeeeediately read it! Caused me to be late for work a couple of times but it was worth it 👍👍👍👍. It's written really well! I just love this story and how it makes my heart clench and have me at the edge of my seat! Just amazing!

November

Verboten by @heesbaby

YES. JUST AN ABSOLUTE YES!! This smau is SO FRICKIN GOOD! Daddy Heeseung?? like duh yes please! But even before then reader got to play around with 02z 🤭🤭🤭🤭 so that was fun! and what made me love this one so much was also HOW FUNNY IT IS??? Like Cinna I don't think we give you enough credit youre like- SO FUNNY?? How you even thought of having Niki doxx Jake I'll never know but it's just so funny and I'll forever laugh at that thought. But this smau is also just so frickin fluffy at times! the relationship heeseung has with the reader is so fucking healthy, I'm actually jealous. I loved this smau very very much!

December

Strictly Business by @onlyjaeyun

And a surprise to absolutely no one!!! Of course Zadie's third smau had to be on here! NOT MY FAULT SHE MAKES AMAZING STORIES!!! Plus Jay??? as a CEO??? WHAT CAN BE HOTTERRRRR?!?! Of course it's automatically my favorite!!! But besides that Jay is just... so amazing!! He'll literally do ANYTHING for the reader and thats so fucking endearing! My mans in love your honor! We love a rich man who's in love! Find me a man like that please! Besides that the smut is amazing yo, and the ddlg parts 🤭🥰🤭🥰 got me kicking my feet and twirling my hair bro!! It's really no surprise how amazing this one is! especially with how sweet and amazing everyone is (besides some of the antagonists of course!) 100000/10 smau! truly!

And that was my 2023 fic wrapped!!! Also Honorable mentions to these specific creators and fics cause I also REALLY LOVED THEM! I just had to mention them:

@ham-st4r for Wrong Doings

@enhaheeseung for Nobodies

@strzlun for Midnight

@yunjardi for Double Trouble

@luvyeni for Forever and Always

@shanbinswf for Brand New Moves

@yeonjunszn for So Sick

@kitten4sannie for Space in Between

@yoursjaeyun for Endless Love

Thank you to everyone who wrote all these amazing stories! You all really make my days better! I hope you all continue to write for 2024!! I also wish 2024 will be kinder to you! Love you all! 💕

[stevesbipanic]

You know what fic a friend of mine and I we for a long time we were thinking we want like seriously jealous Steve like idk after helping Eddie get back to health, Eddie confess he is gay and that he used to have a crush on Jonathan and idk after that Eddie and Jonathan becoming best friends and Eddie blushing everytime but Steve thinking is because of Jonathan but is actually because Steve and well Steve just being jealous of them and being like oh no man first Nancy now Eddie damn you Jonathan Byers idk if you can do it lol also babes love your work what an absolute legend you are x

Thank you 😊 glad you've been enjoying them, hope I did your request justice.

-------------------------------------------------------

Steve thinks he's either cursed or he was still working off karma from his King Steve days.

Jonathan dating Nancy after Steve and her broke up, he got over that, even the cheating part. He understood why that happened and that at the time Nancy deserved someone better than who Steve was. But Steve thought he was better than that now, that he was a better person now, someone who deserved the same happiness.

Jonathan and Nancy had broken up since then, and Eddie had seemed to make it his mission to get Steve back with her. Eventually, Steve had blurted out he was bisexual which had lead to Eddie confessing he was also gay. The boys got closer after that and Eddie trusted Steve when he said he was over Nancy now, they both had a suspicion that she liked their favourite band geek anyway.

Steve's crush on Eddie had been inevitable when he thought about it. He was powerless to falling for the metalhead who was so sweet and caring to everyone and made Steve laugh and forget about the world for awhile. He almost told Eddie too, almost believed Eddie could like him too, maybe love him.

Until Jonathan fucking Byers had waltzed into Eddie's life. When the Byers moved back Jonathan and his new friend Argyle had come too, something about a pizza shop Steve hadn't listened much. But now Eddie was always at their apartment smoking together, or at the trailer together and Steve hated it. Eddie was always blushing around Jonathan too and called him pet names too, Steve had thought that was their thing.

Maybe Jonathan deserved Eddie.

Steve hated seeing them together. When Eddie called him to call off plans to smoke with Jon and Argyle, Steve wanted to cry. When he tried visiting Eddie he was always with Jonathan. It all came to a head when they came into Family Video one afternoon.

"I just think you're misreading the situation, Steve."

"I'm really not, Robs, I was too slow to tell him and now perfect boyfriend Jonathan Byers has swooped in again and saved the curly haired brunette from King Steve."

Robin was going to respond when the front bell rung, Eddie, Jonathan and Argyle coming inside.

"Hey guys!"

"Lady Buckley, please tell me your humble store has new movies these poor stoners can giggle at this evening."

Steve looked away not wanting to see Eddie be cute near Jonathan, didn't want to look at Jon and see the heart eyes he used to have for Nancy but he couldn't help it, Jon looked smitten. Robin was handing over the tapes when Steve couldn't take it anymore and stormed into the back room.

He wrapped his arms around himself, squeezing his eyelids together to try and stop the stinging tears he knew were forming. He heard a knock on the door.

"Go away Robbie, I'll be out in minute."

The door opened anyway. Steve opened his eyes ready to te his best friend to leave again when he saw Eddie standing in front of him, eyes full of worry.

"Are you ok, sweetheart?"

Steve scrunched up his face at that. "Don't call me that, I'm not your sweetheart and I doubt your boyfriend would like you calling me that."

"Boyfriend?"

Before Eddie could say more all of Steve's emotions bubbled to the surface.

"Yes boyfriend, Eddie! I'm not blind I know you and Jonathan are together because you're always blushing around him and you're always hanging out with him and of course you'd choose him over me everyone prefers Jonathan over me. First Nancy and now you, I just thought I deserved to be happy this time but I'm not and Jonathan has come to take another person away from stupid King Steve again—" Steve felt he couldn't breathe properly, everything hurt, it felt like he was back in that bathroom at Halloween again. He was losing the person he loved again and to the same fucking man again.

"Hey, hey, hey, Stevie breathe for me ok, baby?"

Steve didn't have the energy to berate the nickname again, just tried to match his breathing to Eddie's. Eventually he felt the tightness in his chest loosen a bit.

"I'm not dating Jonathan, sweetheart. I think his boyfriend wouldn't appreciate that."

Steve scrunched his face in confusion. Suddenly, things made more sense.

"Oh shit, Argyle?"

Eddie nodded a small smile on his face. "Yes, baby, Argyle. I don't like Jonathan like that anyway even without his boyfriend, they're both just really fun smoking buddies ok?"

Steve nodded. "Sorry I blew up at you."

"Sounded a little jealous, Stevie, is there something you need to tell me?"

Steve bit his lip, no point hiding it now, he'd dug a deep enough hole.

"I'm glad you don't have a boyfriend, but, would you like one?"

Eddie's smile grew, "If you're offering how could I refuse, sweetheart."

Steve leant forward and tentatively kissed Eddie's lips before Eddie moved forward deepening the kiss.

Later they would need to leave the backroom, and face Robin and the boys who had decided to leave them be and rate dumb movies until they were done. Now though, now they could just enjoy being together.

Steve wasn't cursed and he didn't have anymore karma to pay back for his King Steve days, he could finally deserve to be happy. The world could let both Steve Harrington and Jonathan Byers be happy. No jealousy necessary.

[shedoessoshedoes]

nobody loves me like you love me

Hi hello and welcome to me trying to write about a new ship in a new fandom 😱😱😱😱😱 it's really scary guys. This one's for Book Lovers by Emily Henry because I'm a slut for Charlie Lastra and for engagements. I hope you like it :) Tell me if you do!

wc: 2,753

tw: nsfw

tagging: no one yet bc idk who likes these books eep 🫣

The party’s almost over when Charlie pulls me aside. It was a raging success, celebrating the release of Frigid, Tala’s birthday, and Goode Books’s upswing all at once. Charlie and I flew into Asheville two days ago and are staying for another three; even though our lives are planted firmly in New York, our family is here, in Sunshine Falls, and there’s only so long I can go without seeing Libby, Brendan, and the girls and Charlie can go without seeing his parents. It’s still strange to wake up in a New York that Libby does not inhabit, but the transition was easier than I anticipated. My new job at Loggia helped, distracting me with a heap of manuscripts and a learning curve even a shark struggled to keep up with. When Charlie came back, he helped me, too, holding me when I’d break down after a call with Libby left me feeling a little too empty, taking me to get Thai when I felt like I had no one left for me in the city, and reminding me every day in that Charlie Lastra way of his that it was okay to make choices that are the best for me, not just best for everyone else. “Stephens,” he told me  frequently, “you don’t compromise on anything else. You negotiated this ending for yourself. Enjoy it.” 

I look over to him now, our hands intertwined as we wander through the meadow behind the cabin, where we’re staying for this trip (Charlie graduated from his racecar bed and although we love Libby’s Number Three, neither of us were interested in being up all night with the baby at her house) his capsule wardrobe looking as perfectly polished as ever, even in the June heat. He catches me looking and smiles the smile I love the most, the one that tells me he has a secret tucked up into the corner. “What?” he asks. 

“You know that these shoes aren’t made to go frolicking through a field, Charlie.” I tell him. “I’m planning a way to extract revenge.”

“Stephens, if you feel the same way at the end of this frolic, I’ll let you extract whatever revenge you’d like.” 

I mock gasp. “You’d let me publish Bigfoot erotica under your name?” 

He laughs, shakes his head, and looks over to me. “Yes, Nora Stephens. If you still hate me for taking you on this frolic by the time its over, I’ll let you publish whatever erotica you want. 

“You’re just saying that because Bigfoot secretly gets you off, aren’t you?” 

“Of course,” he tells me with mock seriousness. “There’s nothing sexier than Bigfoot and his big—” 

I slap my hand over his mouth as he laughs. “Don’t you finish that sentence, Charlie Lastra. You’ll damage my ego. I’m supposed to be the sexiest one in your life.” 

His eyes soften, and he does look serious now. “You are, Nora. You’re the most everything in my life.” 

I look away, fighting back tears. It turns out, after a decade of never crying, it’s hard to turn the waterworks off. I get emotional at everything now, from animal commercials (fucking stop laughing, Charlie, the cats are being abused), to the endings of new books (I still love the ones with realistic endings the best, but now I understand why Libby and Mom found them so hard to read), to Charlie Lastra making comments about Bigfoot erotica that somehow feel like so much more. 

We come up to the cabin and Charlie pulls me up to stand on the porch. “Do you remember the first time you saw me in this town? How much you hated me?” 

I laugh, nodding. “I didn’t believe it was actually you at first. I was convinced there must be some Charlie Lastra doppelganger, here to make my life miserable. I didn’t believe you would ever come here willingly.” 

“To be fair, I didn’t come here willingly. I was held against my will and without takeout for months, Nora.” 

I roll my eyes at him. “You know you would drop everything for your family the second they need something again.” 

He hums in agreement. “I think about those first few weeks we were here sometimes. How lucky we are that we ended up in the same room at the same time. How lucky we are that our families love us enough to let us negotiate a happy ending.” 

I understand, suddenly, what is about to happen. The breath punches out of me, and even though I knew this was coming, know what I’m going to say (even if I have to figure out a way to return the ring if it’s horrifyingly ugly), I’m suddenly so nervous that I start to shake. “Charlie,” I whisper. 

He smiles at me. “Nora,” he whispers right back. “Good?” he asks. 

“I think so,” I tell him, voice, body, soul trembling. 

“Good,” he tells me. “Ready?” 

I nod, the words already failing me. Feelings like this cannot be categorized. They cannot be put into boxes. Feelings like this balloon out and over every part of me until I’m consumed, until I feel them from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. 

“You’re perfect for me, Stephens,” he starts. “I think you already know that, but I want to tell you again. I love your nightmare brain. I love your nightmare body. I love your impractical shoes and your fancy underwear and your hour-long skincare routine.” 

“That skincare routine brings me a lot of joy,” I tell him through the tears that are already starting to fall. 

“I know. That’s why I love it. I love all the things you do to bring yourself joy. You spent so much of your life making sure everyone else was happy, Nora, and I’m so fucking proud that you’re able to make decisions now that make you happy. I love that I make you happy. I love your Peloton, and the bodega we go to every Saturday to get bagels, and I love that you wouldn’t leave New York for anything. 

“I love that I’m the only one that understands that you’re harsh because you care. I love that I can tell you things in my horrible, sarcastic way, and you’ll understand exactly what I mean. I love our apartment, and I love being in it with you every day. I love sitting next to you and neither of us talking, because we’re working, or reading, or just being, because we understand each other well enough to know that sometimes less words are more powerful than more.

“But mostly, Nora, I just love you. And I really would like to spend the rest of my life with you. I might want it even more than I want to move out of my racecar bed into Libby’s guest room.” 

“I knew you were just using me for my connections,” I say. He tilts one corner of his mouth up and gets down on one knee. 

“Charlie,” I gasp out, incapable of anything else, as he pulls out a small box. 

“I love you so much I even know that you want to pick out your own ring. So forgive me for offering you an empty box, but please, Nora Stephens, marry me. Let me spend the rest of my life contributing to our DINK lifestyle. Let me be easy for you in the best way possible. Marry me, Nora.” 

I crash to the floor onto my knees so we’re at the same height, cradle his face in my hands, and laugh through my tears. “Yes.” I tell him. “Yes. Yes. Yes.” 

“Yes?” he asks, as though he can’t quite believe this is real. 

“Yes,” I say to him again. “Yes, I love you, thank you for not making me wear an ugly piece of jewelry, yes, yes, yes.” I pull him to me, kissing him, but we’re both laughing too hard to kiss properly, so it’s more of us smiling against each other, foreheads pressed together, every piece of our bodies fitting together. 

Charlie pulls me on top of him so he’s laying on the porch. “Thank God you said yes. I still had a niggling worry that you were going to leave me for Shepherd.” 

“Charlie Lastra!” I exclaim. “How dare you think for a second that I would pick the hot small town farmer over the overworked city executive who has no life because, and I quote, ‘There’s always something too good to read.’” 

He rolls us so I’m laying underneath him. “Well, when you put it that way…” He kisses me again, long and slow and deep, and fuck, I’m so gone for this man. 

I break away, laughing. “Holy shit. We’re going to get married.” 

“I know,” he says, smiling wickedly. “How early is too early to start telling people my wife is a hot, kick-ass editor whose books crack the New York Times bestselling list every time they release?” 

“Mmm, you can brag about me anytime you’d like.” I reach up to kiss him, twining my fingers through his hair. “Mr. Lastra-Stephens.” He nearly chokes, and I pull back, searching his eyes. “Sorry, I know we haven’t talked about names, but–” 

“Shut the fuck up. Of fucking course I’m going to take your name. Fuck the patriarchy and all that. It’s just–” he rolls his hips into mine and I groan. “Really fucking hot to hear you talk like that. Excuse me for reacting.” He kisses my forehead, my cheek, my neck, and then looks back up at me. “Mrs. Lastra-Stephens. Or Stephens-Lastra. Whichever. Whatever. I don’t fucking care.” 

“Lastra-Stephens,” I decide. “It’s alphabetical.” 

He groans. “You really are my perfect woman.”

“I can’t believe you didn’t get me a ring.” I tell him as he rolls off of me so I’m pressed up against his side, my head resting on his shoulder. We’re still on the porch.

He looks down at me, quizzical. “Did you want me to?” 

“No.  I just thought,” I shrug. “You’d think it was weird I wanted to pick it out myself.” 

“Nora. You forget how well I know you. You forget how similar we are. I would want to pick out a piece of jewelry I’m going to wear for the rest of my life, too.” He kisses my hair. “But for the record, I would’ve picked a really good ring.” 

“Oh, yeah? What would it have looked like?” 

“Expensive. Classic. Hot. I’d just find one that reminds me of you, honestly.” 

I laugh, press a kiss to his shoulder. “I’ll let you have input when we pick one in the city, then.” 

“Good.” He leans down to kiss me, then, and this time, there’s more intention behind it. His tongue brushes against mine, and then I’m on top of him, pressing him back into the porch.

He sits me up, still kissing me, and then breaks away to press his forehead to mine. “No offense Stephens, but I’m not having hot engagement sex with you on my parents’ cabin’s front porch.” 

I laugh, climb off of him, and pull him up. “So hot engagement sex is on the table inside?” 

He gives me one of his Charlie looks then, one that tells me that obviously hot engagement sex is on the table inside. He unlocks the door as I press kisses down his neck. “Nora.” 

I smirk. “Charlie.” 

He has me up against the door the second it closes behind us, and then I’m tugging him upstairs. We tumble onto the bed in a tangle of arms and legs, Charlie on top and me underneath. He kisses me hard, presses me into the mattress, pulls my shirt up and tugs my pants off. When he stands up to take his own clothes off, I sit up on my elbows, looking at him. 

“What, Stephens? Regretting your decision already?” 

“You are,” I say, “ridiculously hot.” 

The corner of his mouth ticks up. “I love you too, Nora.” 

Then he’s on top of me again, taking off my underwear, pressing his mouth to me, making me gasp and arch underneath him until I’m coming. He crawls back up me so we’re face to face. “Good?” he asks. I nod. “Keep going?” I nod again, and then he’s pressing inside of me, gasping, until we’re pressed together as tightly as we can be. 

“Fuck, Nora,” Charlie rasps, dropping his head to my shoulder. “We get to do this forever.” 

“I know,” I tell him, flipping us so I’m on top. “Aren’t you glad you got such a good catch?”

“Jesus–fuck–I just can’t believe all my wildest fantasies came true.” 

I hum in agreement and start to move, my stomach already tightening with the anticipation of what’s to come. He only lets me stay in control for a minute, and then rolls me back over to fuck into me slow and deep. I moan, and then I’m coming, clenching down around him, and I can feel him come, too. We stay locked together for what feels like hours before he pulls out and tugs me into his side. 

“Hi,” I say, looking up at him. 

“Hi,” he says back. “Mrs. Lastra-Stephens.” 

I groan. “Fuck, you’re right, that is really attractive.” 

He laughs. “I know, right? It’s almost like it brings out the inner Bigfoot-esque possessiveness we all hold within us.” 

I shove at him, rolling away as I cackle. “You did not just bring Bigfoot into sex.” 

He pulls me back, kissing my left ring finger and then pressing a kiss to my lips. “Of course I did, Nora. Bigfoot is what got us into all of this in the first place.” 

I laugh, thinking of those first texts in Sunshine Falls, of everything that came after it. 

“Did our frolic end well enough for you to convince you not to publish Bigfoot erotica under my name?” 

“Mmm, I don’t know.” I roll to lay on top of him. “Getting engaged to the love of one’s life isn’t quite a momentous enough occasion for me.” 

“Oh, yeah?” 

“Mmhmm.” 

“What if the love of one’s life did this?” He presses a finger into me, right where I need him, and I groan. 

“One might be able to be persuaded.” 

He keeps going, then, until I’m gasping and begging and telling him that of course I won’t publish anything under his name, and then he’s back inside of me, moving until we both tumble over the edge. 

Afterward, we sit on the bed and plan our wedding. We’ll have it in the city, and I already know how I’ll ask them to rearrange Freeman’s Books so we can have our ceremony there, amongst the books that kept me alive, the books that brought us together. We’ll go to our favorite restaurant afterwards, and drink and eat and dance all night. We’ll only invite our immediate family; who else do we need besides Libby and Brendan, Sally and Clint and Carina? I’ll wear a simple dress: long, white, and in Charlie’s words, really fucking hot. He’ll wear the suit that’s already a part of his wardrobe. God forbid he buy new clothes to only wear them once. Our rings will be gold, and they won’t be flashy. Neither of us are trying to prove how much we love each other or how rich we are with these rings. After, we’ll go back to our perfect apartment, and have romantic, dreamy, slow sex. We’ll wake up each morning after that belonging to each other a little more than we did the day before, intertwining our lives until we’re able to live our ending forever. There will never be kids, but there might be a cat. There will always be fights, and there will always be peace after that. There will be love and trust and respect, and I’ve never been so grateful for this man sitting beside me than I do in that moment. 

“I love you,” I tell him for what must be the tenth time tonight, as we’re starting to fall asleep.  

He tugs me into a hug. “I don’t think we could have written a better ending.” 

“No,” I agree, “we couldn’t have. It’s too real to be written.” 

Charlie hums in agreement, and we fall asleep like that, my head on his shoulder, one of his legs in between mine, my hand on his chest, his hand covering mine. It’s perfect. It’s better than anything I could have thought up. 

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Yay!! thank you so much for reading! Likes, reblogs, and comments and constrictive criticism is always welcome. My asks are open: let me know what you want me to write!!

[lemonhemlock]

I don't see why we as green fans can't complain or say anything at all about Aemond's characterization and the overuse of certain tropes in fics when black fans do it all the time also?? Be it Aemond/OC, Aemond/Rhaena, Aegon fics paired with OCs or team black characters like Baela, Daemon/Alicent or even pure time travelling crackships like Aemond/Sansa or Sansa paired with any team green guy (yes some of them have complained about this as well because allegedly if Sansa were to time travel back in the Dance era she would only fall in love with Jace! Fine! But guess what no team black stan who has complained about this aspect has written or comissioned a fic with her and their guy, they just complain that the already existing ones aren't about what they want) and they will always find time to lash out on their accounts about how the evil green authors are mischaracterizing the team black OCs or already existing characters. At least we are not leaving hate comments or criticism that nobody asked for (or I hope no one does this! Please don't!) on the fics we read and were disappointed by (and didn't even mention them as examples in these asks).

Anonymous asked: okay i’m game for some anti-lucemond inbox antagonism. while op did indeed make some good points regarding the formulaic nature of aemond x OC i still contend they do not know the difference between a minor character and a plot device. helaena is a minor character, the cargyll twins are minor characters, laenor is a minor character, heck with a bit of massaging and extrapolating harwin could be consider a minor character. Unlike strong boy #2 at least I can say what they were doing between their respective time jumps. helaena — having babies, enjoying her bugs cargylls — aegon watch + introspection which results on them being on different sides laenor — fighting in wars, hanging with his boyfriend, parenting (?) harwin — bangin’ rhaenyra, being a goldcloak, preparing to take on a lordship (just cause harrenhall is practically unliveable doesn’t mean they don’t have peasants in the vicinity to tax I suppose idk) These are characters. They have jobs and hobbies, actual relationships. lucerys in contrast, what has he being doing for the 6 years during the time skip. training? possibly, all we know about him is that he gets his ass handed to him in a fight and gets seasick. what are his hobbies? does he have any responsibilities? friends? anything? I will grant he seems to have a decent grasp of HV. during the incident Aemond in his anxiety starts giving his command in English whereas Luke maintains HV when commanding Arrax, for all the good that it did. maybe there is something there, but I don’t want to read into it too much it because it was likely more for the audience than a way to develop the characters because those are commands not sentences, like jace was working on. Speaking of Jace, even he has something going for him, minor though it was — he trains, attends meetings, is not doing so good in his LOTE classes, really doesn’t like his stepdad, still cannot take a joke. Jace has some serious emotional problems which could be worth exploring, but Lucerys? Nothing, nada, zilch. Who is this person It seems Lucerys only role was to gas up rhaenyra; just so we in the audience know she is in fact perfect, make this face ☹️ in the background of scenes, smirk one time like a asshole, and then die. he is not a character, and while I initially had no problem with him, beyond a mild distaste because he hurt aemond (I actually put more blame on Jace) the way TB started riding this non entity so hard for the last year just made me loathe lucerys. Lucemond can occasionally be fun. I like the fics which are just absurd AUs but anyone who actually takes it seriously. The folks who insist on ‘Fated Feud’ or whatever it’s called, are reaching so hard they might tear something, pretending there is any chemistry or motivation for this relationship. And don’t get me started on the ones who call Luke the pearl of driftmark, that makes me want vom. But people need to quit pretending Lucerys is something other than a plot device, first blood in the DoD, that is all. I hope him and this ship goes away soon. [anyway sorry you’ve got to be the repository for this nonsense. How do you like your aegond? The thing which should have been the main mlm ship for this ridiculous fandom.]

ironically this is probably exactly the type of content the previous anon wanted to avoid 😂 but you can't expect to go in someone's inbox looking for drama, stirring the hornets' nest so to speak, and not expect a reaction. surely everyone can deal with their inbox messages whichever way they want, on the spectrum of not bothering to react at all vs ranting about it. i don't subscribe to this idea that you should hold your mouth shut and refrain from any kind of critical diatribe bc the other side might see it and might be up in their feelings about it.

absolutely not referring to vitriolic hateposting or other forms of bullying, but the institution of the Rant is sacred and must be protected. you can be annoyed at some fandom stuff and simply want a space to air out those thoughts - ofc you're going to be posting in designated fandom platforms, bc it looks deranged to complain about this IRL. i feel that people need to accept that users should have their own barbie playground, but, equally, there should be some spaces (keeping a respectful distance ofc) where criticism or just random rants about that thing can happen, undoubtedly respecting the parameters of decency and not resorting to crazy insults

i agree (and this is a v important caveat) that it becomes bizarre when it's the same people doing it every day, bc then it turns into an unhealthy hyperfixation which you might want to interrogate, but once in a while it can be cathartic, like shooting the shit with your bffs. moderation is key to everything, we can all co-exist and get along without taking everything to heart

this isn't even about lucemond, honestly, it's more of a general fandom criticism, because this is not the first time i've encountered people who simply refuse to mute the tags, willingly read the anti posts, find themselves irked by something, then vent their frustrations on OP

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

as for luke being a plot device vs a minor character, i can't say i''m too bothered about that distinction to argue either way. minor characters can also be plot devices and he is effectively fridged for rhaenyra's and jace's) pain. i do think he has more going for him in the show, like they really tried to give him more screen time towards the end and focus a little on his supposedly conflicting feelings about inheriting driftmark & his bastardy

anyway the "how do you like your aegond" sent me 🤣 i'm really drawn to modern setting AUs for some reason! the constraints of modern society are like a breeding ground for angst

[4ssun]

not an ask but a "comment" because cas has me 🧍‍♀️.

firstly. yn is so irrational that i'm literally pulling strands of my hair out. but love is a strong emotion so i can understand to some extent? that doesn't excuse the amount of things she's done without proper consideration though..

uhh ok. the letter was probably about beomgyu leaving? (maybe quitting twitch and moving onto school studies) hence why chapter 26 is named "moving on".. and that's gonna be so hard to read bcs whenever i read anything ab recovery the tears FALL

27 being named "first love" is probably about felix because of the stems saying "still in love" (unless the chart was made on a website and the website didn't have a "still friends" option or something) or maybe it's a realization that though felix was an era of her life, beomgyu was her first true love?

i can guess 27-28 but don't want to put too much thought as twenty seven is most likely a reunion and twenty-eight is going more about that? the last chapter is more of what i wanted to focus on though because it's simply "cas" so i thinkk it's them dating again and just playing the sims together? like a timeskip? maybe there's a plot twist last second and the ghosts in the room they're playing the sims in go on stan twitter 🤨 (jokes but idk what to expect anymore)

something i was so mad at was yn completely skipping over the love confession and hating beomgyu... like yes that's understandable but PLEASE use empathy in this situation. you are no better than him, doing an impulsive stream because you think it's what's best.. both of them had better options yet decided to take the probably worst one and then yn completely looks past how she's just repeating in gyu's steps...

^^ seriously though because gyu let his love for yn take over and risked losing all his friends, lashed out on them, didn't let them see what he was thinking, and then runs away. yn closes up and is risking losing *everyone* because of love??

if the ending wasn't a happily ever after and my interpretation of 28 was wrong would i be mad? no... not really. if they did just leave each other as a past asset of their live and move on, i would accept that.. i feel like they both harmed each other without trying (excluding gyu being cold at the start) and both saw the major consequences. if they learn from their actions and 28 is just yn playing sims and reflecting on the times i would be okay because it's character development 👍👍

but if it was a happily ever after i would be happy too (as long as it's a timeskip because i can't imagine the ending being like 2 days after the implied unalive mention)

still would be okay with anything you write though 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

(this has got to be my favorite ask ever because you kind off?? read my mind?? in some ways!!)

i want to actually analyze a bit of what you said and offer you (and anyone else) some hints on the future chapters! to keep this from being a long paragraph of wall, i'll put a cut here!

yn and beomgyu are very alike in ways that you mentioned. both are impulsive, deeply feeling, and extremely irrational beings. but they are also different, yn is more openly emotional as we've seen with how she describes how she feels and shows her emotions outwardly. beomgyu, however, is not the same. he tends to not show his emotions (aka his initial coldness to yn) unless they're dragged out of him (keeho getting him to admit jealousy) and when he goes all out, he goes all out. hence his anger towards yeonjun. this will be touched on in chapter 28, which is a gyu-centric chapter.

the letter will also be touched on! but do keep in mind, in yn's emotional state and how she tends to be impulsive, her reaction to the letter might not make sense to someone who isn't irrational with how they respond when upset. also, it will be explained why yn doesn't react to beomgyu confessing that he loves her and how that ties in with his letter. (i can't wait hehe.)

i will say your theory for chapter 26 is spot on! however, i will say you're wrong about the character doing the tasks you mentioned. i don't want to give away too much but i literally was like 😲 when you said that bc that's exactly what happens hehe.

chapter 27 is about felix and yn! not gonna give spoilers on that one though... any ynlix shippers around?

chapters 28-29 are gyu-centric chapters, so if you wanna know why beomgyu decided to become dumb: those are the chapters for you!! can't wait to see how y'all react to that.

your views on yn and beomgyu are pretty much spot on. they both have made some very stupid decisions and are now reaping the consequences of those. however, i promise this story has a "happy" ending. will it be the traditional one of many smaus? probably not.

chapter 30 is also spot on in terms of plot with "someone" playing sims, but i don't wanna spoil it! my hint for you here is just to remember: everything comes full circle.

thank you so much for sending this ask! it's literally my favorite ever and i'm so flattered that you care about my smau enough to analyze and find theories!! <3 i hope these last 5 chapters do you justice.

(i gotta reblog this onto the writing blog though, so that hopefully everyone else can see it! this is my main hehe.)

[feuqueerfire]

FirstKhao Content Index

Started: Sep 12, 2022 || Updated: Nov 11, 2022

this is... a content index? idk it’s like random compilations and dynamics and thoughts, so not like my other content indices 

I love that they and their fan service remind me of kpop shipping which is like “we’re besties :) i love you a lot best friend” because I’m not really into “ooh are we dating? maybe” fanservice/dynamics, so I hope it doesn’t change.

First crying or getting emotional during sentimental moments

First crying when they pranked(?) him about Toe Laew breaking up

First Birthday IG Live last year where Khaotung wishes him well: "It will be emotional. No. stop." Didn't cry but was basically like stop before I do

First and Khaotung Workshop where they develop emotional intimacy. Khaotung's doing fine but First starts crying. This was the first time I'd seen him cry and was slightly taken aback wondering why he was crying when everybody else was chill but after following him for like 1 month, I was like ah

First and Khaotung event that was live online where Khaotung was wishing First birthday wishes this year and First was like "Tears are coming. Enough."

First expresses wanting "to build a house with the same fences as [Khaotung's]." This is the only time I've seen where Khao's crying too, wonder what the full video will be like.

First getting emotional when reading Tay’s comment to him in Safe House 4 + trying to not cry later when the group sings together

I think it's so endearing that First gets emotional/cries so easily and will sometimes put a stop to sentimental things before he ends up crying.

My longass thread of Khao taking care of or helping First because of his injured arm. It’s sooo important and pleasant to me when people just casually are helpful and attentive to someone’s needs T.T An NCT J/J fic made me realize it and wow I’ve not been the same since because Jeno quietly looks after Jaemin and just... so arrow to the heart fr (the spring i've been waiting by forlilcrickee). Anyway, Khao helping First with everything is adorable.

Safe House Season 4

They’re just cute and together all the time

First’s voice in his head saying Khao is cute and the older guys hosting an interview about it 

Not KhaoFirst but Tay and First are soooo cute and clingy and kissy together. With OffGun, I fell into OffGunTay and GunTay and seems like it’ll happen here too lol KhaoFirstTay and TayFirst. Anyway, here’s a reddit post about it on r/ThaiBL, search up tayfirst on the blog for more, I liked some tiktoks as well. This "tay thought first was asking for a kiss on his cheek when he was telling there's something on this face” TayFirst kiss is sooo good, especially because it’s practically what happened in 21 Days Theory recently like seriously straight out of a BL.

Also Tay/First/Khao are good and cute too. 

IG/Bilibili Lives

The Aug 26, 2022 IG live was a whole Time, spawned some iconic moments as shown in these tiktoks that got hella lotta views/likes and are high up in the firstkhaotung hashtag one two

[Fave] April 29, 2020 Bilibili live. Saw this clip where they’re extremely flirty for no freaking reason, they’re not even a cp, absolutely unhinged. this other clip of first calling khao handsome and them having a mini crisis

May 22, 2020 This Ohm and First IG Live before The Shipper ep 1 release where First is at Khao’s house. They got questioned and teased about it lol like hello it’s supposed to be Ohm/First because of The Shipper yet this KhaoFirst stray agenda T.T Khao didn’t even appear much in the live

Times When First Says Khao Plays Tricks On Him

I think people generally tend to think First would be the one playing pranks on Khao and my mans is on a mission to let everyone know that Khao is, in fact, a trickster and a prankster behind the camera.

Sep 1, 2022 Galaxy A53 live: “First’s happiness is teasing Khaotung, right?” “ Actually, he teases me. I don’t tease him. This is him in front of the camera that everyone sees. He’s not acting but this is a part of him when he’s working. When he's behind the camera, he likes teasing.”

Safe House 4 Day 5 clip: Khao pushes First, First tells the audience to look and see First isn’t the one teasing, Khao drags First out of frame

Before Becoming CP

The IG lives they did before then

July 7, 2020: first tweeted he wanted to see the stars and tagged khaotung

Twitter thread by  swwwwii: A thread of #firstkhaotung 2018-2021

To Watch

StarStruckxFirstKhaotung - It’s an English interview, so I can actually watch it instead of catching a few translated tweets here and there

Praew Magazine Interview of FirstKhaotung

KAZZTalK Interview

เมาท์เรื่องเกินคาธ จากกอง "คาธ" กับ เฟิร์ส ข้าวตัง หลุยส์ นีโอ 

Oct 12 ArmShare KhaoFirst

(ENG SUB) ชวน “เฟิร์ส-ข้าวตัง” มา REACT

Watched

Let’s Talk BL Interview - another English one and this time for a podcast I regularly listen to!

Episode 0 Eclipse

ชวน “เฟิร์ส-ข้าวตัง” มา REACT ซีนสุดพีคในซีรีส์ คาธ The Eclipse - Watching this after the LITA Cast reactions. Interesting to see First point out certain things like Neo flexing his muscles or Khao tilting his head a certain way to make a tear fall. First is soooo cute here, my babygirl

[cimeriansparrow]

My mom got mad at me this morning bc "I never talk to her," but every time we try to really talk, it turns into a massive fight (guess what happened 15 minutes ago)

I can't even ask questions without them eventually leading down a road where she keeps cutting me off and begins to yell at me. Obviously I'm taking a tone with you. Not only am I literally just speaking to you in the way that you speak to me, but being spoken down to for 22 years really teaches you that it doesn't matter How I speak to you, you won't ever Listen. Idk. I'm tired of living in a house where I can't even try to talk to my parents about the smaller stressors that I have.

Tried to bring up what's been going on the past few months bc she accused me of being depressed and lazy and. Yeah. I was depressed for 3 months. Thank you So much for noticing. It really speaks volumes to me that you didn't say anything about it while I was going through it?? I tried explaining that a new medication (that she knew I was taking!!! I told her when I switched to it!) Was causing me immense brain fog and seriously scary suicidal ideations that I did nearly act on.

And she got pissed and started yelling bc I never talk to her, and when I asked her to stop yelling she told me that she's gonna yell because she shouldn't be made to feel like this in her own house. She just went through a massive surgery and she's had to walk on eggshells around us when we should have been taking care of her (which we did. And it fucking tears me apart that she doesn't realize how much of my own life I've given up already to make sure she's been taken care of) and she's done with tiptoeing around all of us and she just kept going and going and going and going and going because she doesn't actually ever know when to fucking stop.

No shit we don't talk. Every single time I try to talk with you it ends up like this. With me trying to calm down after stepping away after you've accused me of some wild shit and when I come back to try to talk normally you're still yelling. In fact, you're more incensed than before.

For some reason she thinks adhd medication will fix everything. Like it's some sort of cure all and I don't have a decent handle on it. And every time I bring up that I've done some research and I feel like I might be on the autism spectrum she tells me that's stupid and people are making a trend of it and that's why I feel that way and I shouldn't think that because none of us (myself and two younger sisters) are autistic.

If none of this makes any sense to anyone reading, know that that's how Every Single conversation with her goes. If she's not in a good mood she's going to bring you down to her level of emotion. She will make it about her through the stupidest methods possible, and after being emotionally manipulated like that my entire life it's hard to see exactly what's going on because she comes at you so fast.

[owlbelly]

indie weird-fiction/SFF recommendation

hey remember how about a month ago i found ARCs of these three books in a "free" shed at my town dump

and i picked them up because the back copy really piqued my interest & i thought "okay they're free. let's try it. if the first one sucks i'll bring them all back"

well i am happy to report they extremely did not suck. in fact i absolutely adored them & am now very very invested in this ongoing story (planned as a series of 7, supposedly the 4th is coming out next year). i don't know how much the ARCs differ from the published books - which are available here from the publisher - & i will say that the ARCs were "rough" in the sense that there are typos, grammatical issues (mostly pronoun/tense problems) & very occasional missing or wrong words, but i didn't find it hampered my ability to read very much. i don't know if those are fixed or not in the final copies but i enjoyed the books so much that i don't particularly care - which is a pretty big thing for me, haha.

the blurb on the site & back copy compares them favorably to a mix of authors (William S. Burroughs, Tom Robbins, Kurt Vonnegut, David Mitchell) but those aren't really my points of reference & so not the comparisons i would make! i would heartily recommend them to fans of Clive Barker (especially if you prefer his fantasy work like Imajica & Abarat but you're still down for some seriously horrific violence/gore). pieces of Shifting also reminded me of reading Joan D. Vinge's Cat series which was very formative for me. there's a madcap element to these that definitely fits the Robbins comp but there's also real emotional depth to the characters/relationships - idk i haven't read that much Robbins but it didn't do it for me like these did.

the worldbuilding (focused on psionics, multiverses) & the characters are both incredibly unique & super memorable. i don't like to lean on lists of "representation" in book recs BUT on the other hand i don't generally connect with things that have absolutely no queerness in them, so. is there queerness here? yes! transness? debatably. is it "good rep"? totally beside the point. no. yes if you're like me & you prefer things to be messy & weird? whatever

these books are raunchy & explicit. they're hilarious. the first one horrified me & the last one made me tear up. this traumatized fantasy found family has wormed its way into my heart & i am going to be in love with a cockroach ("fairy") & a blood-sucking miniature machine planet (which is also sort of a cat?) for the rest of my life. other excellent characters include psychic plants & fungi, vicious paper people, sentient stuffed animals with semi-automatic weapons, a lesbian fire dragon & the scariest unicorns you've ever seen.

no one i know has ever heard of these books (though someone in my town owned them! who are you. where are you. why did you give them up). please, please some else read them & talk to me about them. give the first one a try - about halfway through it, i could not put it down.

[asherlockstudy]

i dont think rhett likes link as a person that much. the way link has been joking about how "rhett doesnt have emotions" i think reveals more about the nature of their relationship at this point. link has been pushing a lot while rhett doesnt have much to give other than what he know he "supposed" to give. dont get me wrong i think there is affection of some kind between them and the history isnt something you can just set aside and the promise of a duo is still attractive but... imo one of the reasons why link is adamant at annoying/furstrating rhett is that its one of the only clear show of emotions he can make rhett feel for him at this point. its a little in link's head sure but i do believe rhett is slowly realizing some stuff and i dont think its those "gay" feelings that people like to talk about here. i realize im reading into a lot of things but i cant help but feel this push and pull and all these prying i love you's out of rhetts mouth lately speaks to an insecurity that is a little exagerated on links side but also not entirely unfounded. i think you can still have a certain amounth of love for a person in your hearth -whether the idea of them or the history of them or an affection that lingers etc. but slowly realize you dont like the way that they are/present themselves anymore.-its hard to find interests that you both actually enjoy/share that isnt also your job(lol), intelectually engaging conversations are sparse and inequal and sometimes more frustrating than informing etc. which is a very difficult thing to handle on both sides. doesnt have to mean its an end but its just would be a lot of difficult shifts that should be taken seriously and not for granted in the name of promises. idk. this is a little strech and i normaly i dont like to do this but i cant help but feel that. ''i think im supposed to like this'' https://pbs.twimg.com/media/F8TknG0WYAAUOur?format=jpg&name=medium from rhetts new ep could be about this in parts. maybe

I get what you are saying. It is a thought I used to have occasionally; that Rhett doesn’t seem to love Link as genuinely or that he is getting done with him. Most of the time, something happened that made me feel proven wrong.

The thing about them fighting was also significantly dramatised in the interview - not because it might not have been dramatic at the time it happened but because the interviewers clearly and humorously wanted to play it up. I personally felt uncomfortable with the mildly comedic reenactment of Rhett’s apology. I believe this should have stayed between them or that when it was between them it was definitely serious and so it didn't deserve to be a part of this youtube interview. I mean, you know it’s serious enough when Link is staring and not talking and Rhett is tearing up.

We should always keep in mind all the things that are unsaid because there was a lot unsaid in this case. Link had briefly mentioned this recently, the whole sending an email about needing their friendship to be more of an actual friendship thing. He said at both occasions that there was a warning of “I can’t keep doing this if we are not gonna be actual friends”. The thing is, what was his alternative really? To mess it all up and work solo? As a YouTuber? As an engineer? As a what? This was a huge risk. Link also said he sent this email with Christy’s blessings. Something doesn’t add up. Christy isn’t crazy about Mythical but that would be a huge and tough change if this email caused a breakdown in their friendship. I wonder whether Christy’s self interests were getting in the way of the advice she would be giving in that case. Because a sensible advice would be for Link to be less absolute about it and secure that their business remained undisturbed no matter what happened to their friendship. Unless, idk, things were THAT shitty that Link 'd rather end his whole super successful career. Besides, it is bad when a friend grows emotionally distant, however when this friend is still physically close and you see him all the time and you have based all your income on him, it is unwise and very dramatic to blow it up because you aren’t as attached to the hip friends as in middle school. Welcome to adulthood, I guess. Therefore this doesn’t add up perfectly in my opinion and I would expect Christy to be more like "grow up and do your job without obsessing over Rhett's friendship" than say "You go girl, blow it all up if you are not the best of the besties again", so I once again conclude there was more that made Link felt so invested in the genuineness of Rhett’s feelings, which caused him to feel heartbroken when their friendship was getting more impersonal. The way Link implored for a big talk, for months or even years I recall, for Rhett to open up about his feelings to him is not typical of 40 year old males being friends but, then again, you could argue much of them and their arrangement isn't typical anyway. I could add to my point that in the past years they have been clearer about the frankly quite strange ways they avoided each other outside work but this would lead the answer into paths you are not interested in.

However, Link did not imply Rhett did not have emotions or emotions towards him in specific. He said Rhett does not verbalize or externalize the actually existing feelings. That's what he usually says, though sometimes it seems he is unsure of the nature / genuineness of Rhett's emotions indeed.

Rhett has fought to improve on this aspect throughout the years. It does not always work but there is effort. Sometimes it affects him quite a bit that Link thinks that. It took him some time to realize it but apparently he gave Link a massive tearful apology in which he explained he thought all along that whatever they did was them living this friendship. I don't know if that's 100% sincere but it seems he cared enough to come clean about it, apologize, improve on himself and listen to Link etc So I still think he loves Link a lot. Besides, remember how crazed and needy Rhett was towards Link during quarantine? Also, aside from that interview, Rhett is more often than not the one to whine for not seeing each other many times in a month or Link not inviting him to this or that, or not caring enough for a shared hobby or not being provisional for him as much as Rhett is for Link's sake. Therefore I think we get this idea because Link is so much more open and dramatic about his needs that makes us inequally exposed to their viewpoints and as a result we feel for Link more. But I think Rhett cares about Link a lot. Sure, he is annoyed at him often because Link can cause that to people lol but I think the good emotions and all the past and all he has with him by far overcome some exasperation that might be there. They do have different love languages, too.

As for the song, thanks for the link, I was looking for the lyrics. Had my eyes nearly drop out of my eyesockets in order to read them XD Well, it's certainly an angry song and [MASSIVE EDIT BECAUSE I MISREAD ONE WORD] it’s almost certainly about people criticising them for abandoning the faith and how it still stings.

[peccaberry]

tell me at length about your fave character(s) and why they're so blorbo to you

Rei is legally my emotional support Blorbo at this point so I'm gonna use this to talk about him for a sec ❤️

The version of Rei I vibe with most is the one that's more or less an OC I made for my fanfiction stuff! I consiter everything that happens in Legends of Arceus to be canon to him and I kind of just made up everything else other than that.

God idk where to start so I'll just list a bunch of Rei facts and shit in a sort of list order

BEHOLD, THE REI INFO DUMP:

-Rei's full name is Rei Akabane and was born in Johto to a Johtoan father and a Unovan mother. The last name Akabane loosely translates to "red feather" and is also the name of a train station in Japan!

-Rei looks a lot like his dad while his little sister looks a lot like his mom. Rei's hair has never lain flat in his entire life and it's definitely his dad's fault.

-Rei's mom is a Pokemon Trainer with a dream of eventually becoming a fire type gym leader. She is incredibly skilled and spent her younger years training by batting on the Battle Subway in Unova.

-Rei's Dad is a mild mannered engineer with a good sense of humor and a kind disposition. He met Rei's mom when he was on a work trip to Unova to help do work on the Battle Subway. He saw a crazy fire lady absolutely tearing through her battles while laughing manically and fell in love immediately. They got married a few years later and moved to Johto where Rei was born.

-Rei had a very good childhood with parents and a sister who loved him very much. When Rei was younger he didn't understand that he wasn't also the dad of his new baby sister and insisted that he was because he loved her just as much as dad. They grew up to squabble like any siblings would but were also pretty close with each other.

-Rei grew up around fire type Pokemon because of his mom and has a soft spot for them because of it. He chose Cyndaquil as his starter Pokemon because of this and still likes to wear the associated fancy kimono as his non-work clothes.

-Rei knew he was gay before he was taken by Arceus but was only out to his online friends. He really enjoyed being a part of the online LGBT community and it helped him gain a lot of confidence in himself. He was considering coming out to his parents but was taken before he could make that decision. He feels sad that he never got the chance to know how they would have responded but thinks it would have been positive.

-Rei and his family moved to Jubilife Town ~ a year before he was sent to Hisui for his Dad's job. He hadn't really made any particularly close friends there but was hopeful about the way his life was going.

-Rei's favorite hobbies are soccer and music. He took piano lessons from a young age and learned Ukulele as a fun thing to do with his dad when he was a bit older. He's pretty talented and has a good singing voice. He plays soccer for his school's team and that's where most of his friends were met.

-Rei's dream job is being a pokemon ranger and he's still big mad that it's no longer possible. He had applied to get in to the school but was taken before he found out if he had been accepted into the next semester. Justice for my boy, he could have done it.

-Rei was put in anger management therapy when he was younger because he kept getting into fights. He had a really good therapist and usually manages to keep things under control. He has an incredibly kind heart and it helps him to think about the consequences of his actions on other people and situations around him.

-Rei is really sarcastic and goofy and likes to have fun. He tries not to take things too seriously and likes to act like a moron but it is just an act. He's very much not stupid and has pretty high emotional intelligence.

-Rei struggles to sit down and read because he has both ADHD and Dyslexia. He gets around this with audiobooks but hasn't been able to listen to any since being sent to Hisui and it bums him out.

-Rei did passably in school but was nowhere near a star pupil. He did the best he could but school is not set up for people like him unfortunately. He's clever, but not in the way a school curriculum is set up to measure.

-Rei's "type" is honestly just exactly the kind of person Volo is. He fell in love so hard and fast he might as well have been competing in the homosexuality Olympics. The fact Volo never noticed is honestly really impressive on his part, the Arceus blinders were real. Rei managed to put his life back together after Volo betrayed him but never felt like he got any real closure for his feelings.

-Rei knows how to skateboard and used it pretty regularly just to get around. He can do a few simpler tricks but nothing too fancy.

-Rei's favorite kind of music is 2000s pop but he's the kind of guy who will go for any genre as long as he vibes with the song being played. He doesn't care if people think the songs are cringe, they're *his* cringe and he lives for it.

-Rei has high platonic attraction to woman and they tend to adopt him pretty quick because he's kind and never hits on them. He comes across as a guy who just genuinely wants to be their friend and hang out and it's part of why Akari got so attached to him.