#set exam application form

[foldingfittedsheets]

The mattress company I worked for the first time no longer exists. It was long ago eaten and assimilated by a bigger company. But when I started it was an incredibly intense five weeks of training. I was told I was extremely lucky to be selected, and I was. From a pool of a hundred applicants only fifteen of us made the cut to entering the training program.

The course covered how to talk to customers, how to ask open ended questions, how to close a sale, and product knowledge. I learned a lot, and truthfully my greatest takeaway was a lot of social scripts that I could use in other areas of my life.

We also had a midterm exam and a final. Both included a roleplay element with a trainer and a written portion. They told us when we started that the course was challenging but it was still a shock to come in after the midterm and realize half the class had failed.

I was named valedictorian of training- a dubious honor as it meant I’d done the best in the class, but popular lore had it that valedictorians struggled the most on the sales floor. Lo, I struggled.

Not because I wasn’t good. I was. But because my manager set out to systematically destroy my self esteem. Every sale, every interaction I had was scrutinized and criticized.

If I sold a bed with protectors, moveable base, and pillows he’d ask why I hadn’t managed to sell pillow protectors too. His first trainee had thrived on being challenged and he’d never bothered to learn a different way to coach.

It was wretched. My performance started strong but nosedived after a few weeks with him. My trainer, a man I loathed for stonewalling me in my interview, came in to inform me I was on new hire probation. If I couldn’t get my sales numbers up I’d be let go.

His actual phrasing was, “When you have a bandaid do you like to rip it off or pull it slowly?”

Since it was eminently obvious why he was visiting and because I thought it was condescending I sweetly informed him that I liked to soak my bandaids in hot water so they come off on their own.

He was briefly startled at this derailing but then got on with the bad news. I signed some forms stating that I understood my job was in peril.

I went home furious. I thought long and hard about why I wasn’t succeeding and how frustrated I was with my manager. I came in the next day and my anger had crystallized into a cold sharp edge.

My manager opened his mouth to address the probation and I snapped, “Just leave me alone. Go in the back if I have a sale. If you must address a serious issue then you will give me praise on two things I did right and present it as a compliment sandwich. Otherwise just say good job and shut up. Your constant nitpicking just makes me anxious and I do worse. Back off.” Belated and begrudging I added, “Please.”

He raised his eyebrows in dim surprise but I’d gauged him well. He backed off. Dutifully he’d meander into the back when I had a sale and praised me when I closed it. I resented knowing it was only because I’d demanded complimented but they still boosted me up. My numbers skyrocketed, I landed my first split king sale, and I exited probation with flying colors.

The trainer came back in to congratulate my manager for turning things around. To my gratification he gave me credit for setting him straight and said I’d taught him a different way to lead. My manager would often genuinely praise that moment when I’d stood up to him, impressed with my stubborn refusal to fail and my insight into what would help.

My biggest takeaway from the whole thing was just that people need positive reinforcement to succeed. Praise people for doing a good job. If you’re ever in a position where you need to criticize someone put it in a compliment sandwich instead of just saying the negative.

[twicecorner]

Teacher's Assistant - Professor Im Nayeon

Twice Nayeon x Male Reader

3,422 words; smut

A/N: i’m back! long time no see lol life has been crazy but finally found a time to write. I had this in the drafts.. the long awaited next part of Teacher’s Assistant! hope u guys enjoy ;) lmk how you like it given that i haven’t written in a min LOL

*Ding ding ding* The alarm set on the stage buzzes as everyone's attention moves to it. Twelve-noon sharp. The assistants in the room spring to their feet and call out for the next group of participants. 

“Profesor Im Nayeon’s 12 o’clock please come forward!” One yells.

You hastily move from where you were and get through the small crowd to the assistant. You were quite literally shaking in your boots. You didn’t know what to wear, so you had on some business casual attire. Brown dress shoes, navy trousers, and a white button-up. You gulped down the last of your water from the small paper cup and crushed it before throwing it into the recycling bin on your way out.

“Please follow me.” The assistant said to you. It felt surreal, this didn’t have the same vibe as any other job or school interviews you’ve ever done before, you didn’t know what to expect. You didn’t even see the other students who were in the interviews before you left. The assistant walks you down the hallway and up the elevator to the 9th floor. You notice that in order to have access to that floor, a card key was used. He pressed his card against the reader and as it flashed green, he pressed the button. The button was even in the shape of a heart to emphasize that it was the Love Lab floor. 

He leads you through the floor, a pinkish-red hue of LED strips dimly lights the hallways. You see some questionable things in some of the lab windows and think to ask, but keep it to yourself as you can feel the tension rising. Finally, you get to her office. Plastered on the door in big letters it reads, “PROFESSOR IM NAYEON - Love Lab no. 1” The assistant knocks on the door and waits for a response. He tells you to wait outside before entering. He goes in and exchanges a few words with Prof. Im before returning to the hallway and letting you in. “Good luck. She’s a tough one” He whispers to you.

You walk in to see that the room is also dimly lit with similar led lights. Her office is tidy and she’s sitting behind her desk. There’s a couch and a few bookshelves lining the walls. “Take a seat.” She scans over the paper in front of her. “Participant 021. We don’t use names here quite yet during this phase in order to keep a sense of… anonymity if you will.” You nod in response as you take a seat on the couch. “Since I’m your first interview, I’ll explain to you how this all goes down. Prepare yourself. If at any point you would like to stop, say the word ‘candy’. This will be for you to use in all of the interviews. If you choose to stop, your application will be terminated immediately and you will still be sworn to secrecy no matter what. These interviews are much different than any other type out there. As you know, this is the Love Lab. Many different things consist within the word Love, these interviews, or tests will show if you are able to fulfill those things, those needs. Does that make sense?” She squints her eyes and lowers her glasses to her bridge while looking at you. You nod and you get the feeling you know what she means.

She continues, “Each professor is known for a different study on Love, meaning to say different tasks and such that you and the other participants will need to pass in order to work for us. I see you’ve signed your consent form and you have passed the needed medical, fitness, and mental wellness exams. Your application was one of the only standouts we saw this year. Congratulations. We have high hopes for you number 021.” You feel a great sense of relief and proudness as you look down and give yourself a small smile. “Right, let’s not waste any time. Let’s begin.” You nod once again and watch as she gets up from her seat. You notice her legs are a little shaky when she stands. You wonder what happened in this room before you got there. She slides a bookshelf to the side revealing a small hidden room. It’s lined floor-to-ceiling with red plush. In the middle is a single chair. Along the walls, there are shelves and hooks, something straight out of 50 Shades of Grey, toys, and accessories galore, things you didn’t know the use of. In the middle of the room was a red bed in the shape of a heart with the headboard lining the top curved parts of the heart. Damn, they really keep a grip on the whole love thing. You thought to yourself.

Prof. Im takes a seat on the edge of the bed. You walk in and some sort of spark of bravery overcomes you for a moment. “What would you like me to do, Professor Im?” You ask. 

“I want you to please me. Ruin me. Break me. You have 3 hours to do so. The last participant wasn’t so lucky, he barely made it through half of the time before I told him to get out of my sight. But you, I already like the look of you.” She scans you up and down before beginning to unbutton her shirt. 

“I can use anything in here?” You ask looking around the room, starting to walk along the walls and examine things more closely. 

“Yes, providing you know how to use it. I’m not asking you to kill me, I’m not an easy woman to please, you see. And I like things rough.” She winks and slightly nods towards the extensive wall of flogs, whips, paddles, and such. To be honest, you’ve only dabbled with BDSM mildly in your life, a few spanks here and there, maybe some tying up of the hands, but nothing like this. As your mind begins to drift into thinking of all of the possibilities, Prof. Im snaps you out of your haze. She stands up, now topless, and gestures for you to join her on the bed. You join her, sitting on the edge of the bed, and take your shirt off as well. She seems to admire you and your body for a moment before climbing on top of you.

She looks you in the eyes, hers are already filled with lust. Prof. Im crashes her lips onto yours. A steamy make-out session ensues, Quickly, your hands find themselves exploring her back and waist. Her hands knot up in your hair and you pull her harder against you, she gets the hint and starts grinding into you. It doesn’t take long for a large bulge to form in your pants. Your tongues fight for dominance and you moan at the skin-to-skin contact when your chests touch.

Remembering that this is still an interview and that you need to pass, you take your time, also noting the 3-hour time limit. You need to be able to keep the heat up for 3 hours, you can’t bore her or finish too soon. Somewhat meticulously, you plan out the next 3 hours, trying to focus on kissing her while noting your next moves. Your hands roam up and down her back before sliding your hand to the base of where her hairline meets the back of her neck, you yank her head back by her hair and move down to kiss and lick along the side of her neck. You earn a gasp and some light moans from Prof. Im. 

“Mmm yes… remember… no marks” she reminds you and you nibble and kiss her neck.

Feeling the pressure build in your crotch, you hook your hands around her ass and under her thighs and quickly lift her up before spinning and tossing her lightly onto the bed. She gasps at your strength and confidence. “Eager are we? Already starting off better than the last participant” Prof Im smirks and bites her finger. “Now what’re you going to do to me?”

You kneel on the bed in front of her and hastily take off your belt. A move you admit you’ve done before, you grab her hands as she sits up and use the belt as makeshift handcuffs. “I’ll use this for now. I don’t want to waste my time going to grab the cuffs” You say nodding towards a far wall. “Mmm I like this” She purrs. As you finish quickly tying her up you hold her two hands above her head while your other hand undoes the button and zipper of your trousers before pulling out your hard length.

“Oh fuck.. So big..” Prof Im moans seeing your hard cock in front of her face, she licks her lips.

“Take it.” You demand, holding your cock, you bring it to her mouth, still holding her hands above her head, you take them and hold them against your chest. She understands, clawing her fingers into your chest as her head moves to the tip of your length. She parts her lips and you push in fully. She said she likes it rough anyways. Her eyes widen in shock and you feel immense pleasure as her throat takes your length down its tight wet walls. After staying still for a moment, you start to pull out and begin thrusting in and out of her mouth. She moans as you fuck her mouth, spit starting to drip down the corners of her lips. You pull out your cock fully as she sticks her tongue out and circles your tip with it. “Good isn’t it?” You ask her.

“Mhm.. I’m excited for the next few hours number 021.” She looks up at you.

For the first hour the two of you fuck like animals, you indulge yourself first eating her out and tasting her sweet juices and fucking in 3 or 4 different positions on the bed. The first stage of your plan was going smoothly. You had yet to use the various toys on the wall, but you glance at the clock every now and then to gauge your time. You’d plan to use those during the last 2 hours. The second hour for rough playtime, then treating the last as the final push to edge both of you until max capacity. You wanted to drive her crazy. Now understanding how the rest of these trials were going to go, you had to work up your stamina. In 3 hours you could probably finish twice, but your goal was to make her finish as much as you could, at least once per hour.

As the first hour was nearing its end, you decided to grab a toy. As Prof. Im, now untied, hair disheveled and body sweaty, lays on the bed recovering from your fierce pounding you get up and look at the wall of dildos. You choose one similar to your size and walk back to her. “Finally.. As much as I loved your cock pounding me I was wondering when you’d start making use of the stuff in here.” She says breathing heavily. “Oh trust me, I’m just getting started.” you respond. 

You spread her legs and make your way between them. You bring the dildo to her mouth, “Suck it.” she does so making eye contact with you as she takes the toy down her throat before spitting on her hand and stroking the toy. You smile and take it down between her leg, moving it between her wet lower lips. She moans at the sight. You shove it into her and start pumping it before bringing your head down to eat her out at the same time. “Oh FUCK!” she moans, having 2 of the most pleasurable feelings at once. “Mmm fuck that feels so good” 

Almost on instinct, she grabs her legs and holds them up and apart for you, wanting more. You bring your other hand up and grab onto her chest, playing with her nipple and massaging her tit. You simultaneously bring her pleasure and she starts getting close to the edge. “D-don’t stop… fuck yes oh my god” she moans, her hips now shaking and moving on their own accord to get more. Your spit mixed with her own juices make the toy easy to fuck her with and your mouth moves furiously on her clit. You can feel her start to tighten and push the toy, signalling her orgasm. You ramp it up thrusting harder and faster, sucking more on her clit and clawing at her tits. “I-I’m gonna c-cum!!” She yells out. You take your mouth off her for a moment, “Cum for me Professor Im… Cum all over me” One of her hands goes to grip your hair and push you back to her clit and holds you there before she yells out and her body spasms, her hole pushes the toy out and you continue to lick and suck her pussy as her juices flow. 

You pull away once she releases your head. “How was that?” You ask smirking at your work, the sheets now even wetter, her chest heaving for air and your cock leaking precum. “Holy shit…” She says between breaths, “I might just already pass you.” You smile as you hear that. “We didn’t even get to use all these fun toys” You tease back, “And I haven’t even finished yet” You say looking down your cock, now pulsing with need to finish. “Usually I’m not this worn out so fast, but something about you…” She says looking at you up and down. “I’ll give you the next 30 minutes to make us both finish. If you do so, you pass.” she smirks.

“Challenge accepted.” You say catching your breath and wiping the sweat from your brow. “Have you done anal before Prof Im?” You ask shyly, not sure if it’s appropriate to ask. “Mmm.. once, but it took me a little bit to like it… I haven’t tried since… of course the last time I did it, he wasn’t as good as you.” You knew the sure fire way to make you both finish was her ass. The pristine tight starfish coupled with her dripping pussy.

You flip her onto her stomach and turn her around, so she’s facing the mirror on the opposite wall. You bring her up onto all fours before bending down to spread her cheeks and expose her tightest hole. You lick from her clit up to her starfish and dip your tongue in, she moans at the contact and she starts to loosen up. You dip from her ass into her pussy and back, stimulating both holes. You pull back and slide your index finger into her ass to allow her to adjust and she easily takes it in. You give her a few pumps before going back to licking and wetting it. You go back and forth like this for a few minutes until she's prepped. To get your length wet, you push it into her pussy and give her a few good strokes, she moans with every pass and clenches her walls onto it. “God, your cock feels so good in my pussy.” She moans. “Just wait until it fills your ass” You moan in return.

You do a few more thrusts into her pussy before your length is coated in her juices. You spit onto her tight hole one more time before you press your tip against it, “You ready? Let me know if you want me to stop” You tell her before you slowly ease your way in. “OH! Fuck oh my god yes.. Oh fuck its so full…” she moans out your length only half way in. You push more till your cock is sheathed in her ass, the whole process filled the room with a cacophony of her moans and yelps of pleasure at being completely filled. “It’s so fucking tight… it feels so good Professor Im” 

‘“Oh for fucks sake.. Fuck me already and call me Nayeon” she demands. Your face fills with shock at this. But you can’t process it till later, right now you have a job to do. You start to thrust into her ass slowly, feeling her walls squeeze against your length already bringing you closer to the edge. You hold back and start to thrust faster, gripping into her hips. “Fuck Nayeon your ass feels so fucking good…” You moan, thrusting harder and faster into her, your balls slapping against her still wet pussy. Suddenly an idea pops into your head. You reach for the dildo on the bed next to you, “Should we try something new Nayeon?” You ask. “Mmm shit I don’t care I just need you to fuck me” She desperately says looking back at you through the mirror. You pull out of her ass and take the toy and slip it into her pussy, you hold it there with your hand and push your cock back into her ass. “OH FUCK” She yells out, now feeling truly filled. The pressure from the toy makes her ass even tighter and you moan out too.

You resume fucking her ass, now your balls slapping the base of the toy allowing it to slip in and out of her pussy at the same pace as you. “Oh- oh my god fuck… oh shit” Nayeon’s a mess in ecstacy. She’s never felt so much pleasure and so full before. You slap her ass then grab onto the back of her head and bring it up to look at the two of you in the mirror. “Cum with me Nayeon. Squirt all over me while I cum in your ass” You growl. She watches as you fuck her harder, her pussy now even wetter and pulsing harder squeezes the toy out and you bring a hand down to furiously rub at her clit. She squeezes her ass even harder on your cock. “I-I’m gonna cum Nayeon.. Fuck I’m gonna fill your ass…” You moan loudly, fucking her even harder and faster, your length moving in and out of her gripping hole. 

“I-im cumming again!!” Nayeon moans, she falls forward as her body convulses in orgasmic pleasure and she squirts all over your balls and thighs, as her body tightens like an anaconda around your length until you reach your limit. You explode ropes of hot semen into her deepest parts, you grunt as you shallowly thrust into her, painting her walls. You both come down from your extreme orgasms and you pull out, you watch as she pushes your cum from her ass, you bring a finger to it and run it from her ass to her pussy, smearing your cum all over holes and clit.

“Oh my god..” Nayeon collapses onto the bed and you lay down next to her, your warm sweaty bodies tangled together. “You… pass” She says before her eyes close. You hold her in your arms as you too feel your eyes get heavier. You wake up to a jolt a bit later to Nayeon stirring awake, “Good morning” You say jokingly. “Mmm I haven’t passed out like that from a session in a long time” She says. “I think you’ll do just fine throughout these trials. I’ll be sure to let the other professors know.”

“Thank you.” you say getting up and grabbing a bottle of water while starting to get dressed. “So what next?” You ask as she does the same. “I see you have Professor Minatozaki next… You’ll have the session with her at 7pm so you have some time to clean up and rest before that. I suggest you rest up for her, I don’t think she’ll let up as easy as I did for you. Come back around 6:45 to check in. If you get past her, you’ll have Professor Myoi tomorrow and Professor Park the day after. Good luck number 021. I sure hope you make it through. I would like to see you again” Nayeon smirks before she pulls you in for another kiss and grabs at your now clothed crotch.

You exit the room and an assistant brings you out, handing you a reminder slip to come back at 6:45 and stamps your card “passed” next to Professor Im’s name. Now that you know what these trials are, you head back to your room to freshen up and get ready for Professor Minatozaki Sana.

[hoshinasblade]

second best |1| hoshina soshiro

PART 1 | PART 2 | BONUS: PART THREE

DISCLAIMER: this fic has a detail that hasn't been mentioned in the anime yet. it isn't a big give-away but if you are sensitive about that kind of thing, please do not proceed. pairing: hoshina soshiro x f!reader genre: slight angst, comfort, childhood friends to lovers, a bit of that miscommunication trope snippet: hoshina soshiro always ranks second at everything in his life. god forbid he falls behind in the bid for your heart too. word count: 3K trigger warnings: author's note: this fic has two parts - part 2 will be posted a week from today :) likes, replies, and reblogs are always appreciated but please do not repost or steal my writings. this is quite long, but i gotta make you guys work for it. i have also set up a taglist for the second part and the other fics or drabbles, please sign up if you wanna be tagged! as always, feel free to let me know what you think or give me a prompt by sending me an ask here!

hoshina soshiro can claim with extreme conviction that he rarely regrets the decisions he has made so far in his life.

from the time he has set his sights on taking the aptitude exam necessary to be recruited in the anti-kaiju defense force, to following captain ashiro mina to support her as the vice-captain of the third division, to religiously adhering to his daily routine of working out even during his off days so he can stay in peak condition - everything he's done is driven by soshiro's lone motivation: to rise and come on top.  

unfortunately, as he sees you walking in the hallway of the training building with his brother, soshiro realises that this is one of those rare occurrences where he hopes he gets a do-over.

it was barely 6 in the afternoon so there was still light from outside; the rays of the setting sun penetrating the transparent windowpanes cast an orange glow to the furniture in soshiro's office. it made him remember how he used to always be assigned as the student to clean the classroom back in junior high school: he would sweep first then rearrange the chairs before closing the windows and drawing down the curtains. he would rush up to the rooftop, in time to watch the sun dip below the horizon. he would stay for a few precious minutes, dreaming of a chance to get out of their town. he was fifteen then.

soshiro shook his head a bit. he decided that today - of all days - will not be when he will have a trip down memory lane. yes, despite the number of times he would get reminded of his past today, he refuses to get sidetracked.

the floor is eerily silent, save for the momentary opening and closing of doors; soshiro is aware that almost everyone has left, flocking to the local izakaya not too far from the base to celebrate. he had half the mind to prompt himself to hurry up in order to make it to the get-together on time. the long and gruelling application process took three months before the vetting could begin, but finally, the third division of japan anti-kaiju defense force honoured its new officers that morning. as the nominated head of the selection committee, he oversaw the entire thing, and at the end, he could not help but to feel confident that their force would become stronger from here - this year their roster of applicants boasts high-profile names like that of the very daughter of jakdf's director general and the young master of the prestigious izumo family.

okonogi, sitting in front of him at his office, was sorting the personal forms of the recruits, a big stapler in her right hand. "i can take care of this, vice-captain", she said to him, "they cannot miss you there."

soshiro smupled to his swivel chair, obviously fatigued by the task he and okonogi had been trying to finish for half an hour already. fighting and defeating kaiju is the main part of the job, but handling the paperwork proves to be as challenging. "right, make sure the headquarters get this by the morning along with the report of all their numbers -" the sound of footsteps nearby interrupted soshiro's train of thought.

there were three loud knocks and the door opened, a man with the same eyes as soshiro peeping inside. even okonogi glanced over her shoulder to identify who the intruder is. soshiro stood up.

"just wanted ta drop by before i head back ta himeji", hoshina soichiro's undeniable accent dripped. spotting the huge pile of forms littering the desk, he commented, "seems like ya are a little preoccupied though."

"hoshina fuku taichou, good evening." your voice was firm yet jovial as you greeted him, the kansai inflection rolling off your tongue. you appeared beside soshiro's brother, still wearing the same standard-issue uniform you wore during the event several hours ago when you were sworn in as a new defense force officer. the outfit is snug on you - soshiro had noticed at the ceremony earlier, but up close the top looked almost skintight, the skirt coming up a little above your knees. soshiro can be a high-ranking official within the force, but he is also a man. if only briefly, he stared. "aren't ya going ta the party?"

taken aback that you would drop by his office, it was out of his mouth too fast he couldn't stop it - "how about ya? what are you still doing here with him?" soshiro responded pointedly at you, throwing you the same query but not answering what you asked him. it was too late to take it back; he sounded like he was interrogating you about your presence with the captain of the sixth division. soichiro winced; soshiro pretended not to see. "i- i was just thinking ya went with the officers on the way there", he added, calmer this time.

"oh, i was just catching up with hoshina-kun", you replied without missing a beat. soshiro doesn't know if the accidental force in his question just seconds prior did not intimidate you at all or you simply ignored his tone. "i mean with soichiro-kun. considering ya are hoshina too", you chuckled. soshiro stole a glance at the man at your side while maintaining an empty expression. he found his brother smirking at him; soshiro willed himself not to picture soichiro as an ugly kaiju with a butt for a face.

okonogi who is now attentively eavesdropping on your conversation caught your attention. "pardon for the bother, hoshina-san. we'll be off now."

for an instant, it looked like you were waiting for soshiro to say something in response. to say what, he doesn't know. the eye contact between you and him held up for a moment but broke as quick as it began. tension prickled in the air briefly then ebbed as you turned away from soshiro. "i'll see ya at the party, vice-captain", you gave him a bow before exiting the room. soshiro wanted to stop you; he didn't.

soichiro sighed. "it was nice seeing ya, 'lil bro", he addressed soshiro, his hand patting the latter's shoulder once, twice. "i have paperwork ta worry about too so as much as i'd like to, i won't be able ta attend your division's party. just in case ya want ta know." soshiro didn't look like he had a crumb of interest to know about his brother's occupational responsibilities; he shrugged soichiro's hand off.

soshiro saw you standing outside, leaning on the wall, when he ushered his brother out. "i'll be driving her to the izakaya though", soichiro informed him. "ya should visit our folks when ya have the time. ya should come home sometimes", soichiro continued, a hint of concern evident in his voice. when soshiro did not respond, surprisingly the older hoshina did not look a tiny bit disappointed. instead, soichiro put on a charming smile and waved at okonogi. "okonogi-chan, see ya around!" he tossed a playful wink at her.

soshiro merely watched as you and soichiro walked together, your pace matching his. a few meters away, he saw you listening intently to something soichiro was saying - he is too close - and although he is not within earshot to hear what is being said anymore, he knows it is another one of his brother's bad jokes. it looks like you were trying to suppress it, but a smile was about to dawn on your lips. soshiro felt sick to his stomach all of a sudden.

the party was already in full swing when soshiro arrived - everyone is hungrily feasting on the expensive wagyu beef, drinks flowing endlessly from the bar. everyone is enjoying themselves; even captain ashiro mina can be seen having small talk with the newly sworn-in officers who were eagerly taking notes from her.

you had easily made friends with the other rookies who are now sitting next to you; it was thanks to your group that this event was planned - after enduring long sessions of strenuous physical training every day of every week, you all deserved a night of everyone just gathering to have a good time. soshiro seems to be exempt from the festive atmosphere though.

he picked the seat next to his captain, who greeted him with a curt nod. he proceeded to grab the mug of beer served to him; the first sip registered a sharp bitterness through his mouth but soshiro relished on the flavor as it overtook his senses.

"everything alright?" captain ashiro from his side asked without lifting her gaze from her own drink. "you are being -" she paused, carefully searching to find the right words, “uncharacteristically quiet.”

soshiro picked the glass of beer again, and when he was about to put the lid on his lips, he could sense someone’s intense stare locked on him. years of being the vice-captain gifted him with equal parts instinct and paranoia so he could not help but scan the room, only to find you, sitting across the room, watching him with a curious expression.

a rowdy group of rookies surrounds you; they are high-fiving each other, laughing at their silly pranks, not minding that all of you are squeezed together at a crowded circle. soft music in the background swelled as everyone cheered and clinked glasses.

soshiro's eyes remained fixed on yours, lasting for what he felt like forever. the buzz of chatter dulled to a distant hum, fading into an almost white noise. his heart raced as he felt his breath catch and his mouth go dry. the corner of your lips curved into a smile and maybe it is the alcohol in his system, but he is certain his cheeks are flushed now.

"huh", captain ashiro lowly exclaimed. soshiro quickly snapped a glance at her. "you talked to her yet?" she asked him. ah, she caught his little moment with you.

soshiro was on the verge of playing it cool and putting on an act; he was about to outright lie to his captain by saying "talk to who?" as if he had no idea what she was referring to. he settled with silence. he was grateful his non-response only earned him a sigh from the captain who did not press the topic any further.

 "to you newbies, congratulations!" captain ashiro raised her glass, still half-filled with alcohol. her voice rang out over the place, everyone's conversations immediately falling quiet. "may the third division always be victorious in our battles to come", she recapped her speech.

the party showed no signs of slowing down. hibino kafka, a recruit in his thirties has been the centre of intrigue that has spanned for weeks now. hibino ossan - as what the others nicknamed him - had revealed in a bathroom conversation with other male rookies that he grew up with captain ashiro. ashiro mina likes dried squid; ashiro mina used to raise pets in grade school - everyone consumed any and every tidbit of trivia hibino disclosed about the usually stoic and serious third division commander. soshiro was among those invested in the rumor and you knew why. for a while, you also wondered how he would react once the rest of the troops learned about your own past with their vice-captain. would he deny it? or would he brush off any potential gossip that may arise from the revelation? if everyone discovered your shared history with hoshina soshiro, would it make him want to reconnect with you?

“you lot will start duty monday next week, but tomorrow will just be another workday for vice-captain hoshina and i”, captain ashiro said, having stood up from her seat, preparing to take off. “no, you can stay”, she said to some of the newbies who have started to get up too.

“nah, captain, why don’t we bring them along to help us file all the tedious paperwork?”, soshiro interjected in his familiar upbeat tone. the crew bursted into snickers; captain ashiro gave soshiro a perplexed look, obviously puzzled about the sudden shift in his mood. testing her theory, she looked at your direction.

captain ashiro couldn't make out why, but you were giggling at whatever your seatmate had said, elegant hand covering your mouth, eyes crinkled. she understood soshiro then - she was not foreign to feeling uneasy inside when she sees someone so physically near someone she cares about after all. "let's go, hoshina", she tucked her pity for the vice-captain away.

"do you guys think they are dating?" a particularly tactless rookie sitting at your table had asked immediately after captain ashiro and hoshina were out the sliding doors.

"i bet they're not", you blurted out a little too soon, a little too sure. you did not mind clipping your accent, your kansai-ben thick and heavy. your fellow officers looked at you, expecting an explanation for your outburst. "i mean -" you stuttered, "that would be awkward, i guess."

"you know to think of it, you're from himeji too, right?" a few more recruits have started to listen in on the exchange. these people can smell the truth off me, you thought. you wanted to smack yourself in the face.

"we went ta the same high school together, that's all", you admitted, feeling backed in a corner. tomorrow when you get questioned for this imprudent behavior, you can probably blame it all on the alcohol. "and grade school", you continued, loose-lipped now.

you still liked wearing pink bows in your hair when you met him. an only child of kind parents, you never experienced having to ask for something you like; you were doted on and spoiled so you were reasonably upset when a young hoshina soshiro did not give you the time of his day. your family has just moved to hyogo shortly before that, and you were anxious to make friends; since your early age, you had made it your mission to make soshiro acknowledge you.

"you dun wanna play with me, because ya are stupid", you told soshiro-kun once. "oka-san said all boys are stupid", you had the nerve to elaborate after he pouted at you, his unkempt bangs sticking on his sweaty forehead, his clothes dirty from training all day.

"yer pretty", he responded and you felt the blush crept up on your cheeks. "pretty annoying."

"come on, spill some tea!" someone's palm connected with the table, jolting you out of your trance. "we have another hibino-senpai situation on our hands!" they declared, grabbing you by the arm and shaking you a bit. if it was meant to encourage you to tell more childhood tales between you and the vice-captain, it worked really, really well.

"he's always had that haircut even as a kid", you said, misinterpreting the kind of story your companions wanted you to tell, judging by their disappointed looks. “i- i don’t know what else to tell you guys”, you held up your hand in surrender.

“do you have a crush on him?” you choked on your drink, caught off guard.

vexed at his absent-mindedness, soshiro was walking back to the izakaya place alone when he heard the commotion. he is going straight to bed once he gets back to the base, but he would have to retrieve his uniform jacket first from his seat earlier.

“you totally do, don’t you!” it stopped sounding like a question and more of an accusation you could not deny. “you like hoshina-san!”

“i -i do, yes... but what of it, huh?" he couldn’t see you but he would recognize the soft timbre of your voice anywhere. soshiro felt like a victorian gentleman getting a glimpse of a woman’s ankle for the first time listening in on the uproar of cheers after your confession.

“the three of us attended the same high school, soichiro-kun was a grade ahead”, you said. soshiro froze. you are talking about his brother. “he has always been good at everything, t'was hard not ta like him.”

soshiro closed his eyes, attempting to steady his breathing. he always had his suspicions - for the ceremony earlier his brother even took a day off his busy schedule as the commander of the sixth division to attend as a guest. he should have known.

last year, soshiro’s squad fought a lizard-type kaiju with a fortitude of above 8. like the reptile, a cut made on any of its limbs was useless due to advanced regeneration. a fractured rib, extremely bruised arms, and a dislocated shoulder were what it costed soshiro to win against the monster. his bitterness threatening to consume him, he cannot believe that you confirming his worst fears would hurt more than that fatal experience.

of course, he said to himself. it’s not like he can fault you for liking soichiro - everyone did. as the firstborn son, their father always had favored him. soichiro has been the more skilled swordsman between them; he was the golden child, charismatic and talented with an effortless charm - like moths to a flame he would attract people, and even in his silence he would overshadow soshiro.

soshiro didn’t stand a chance against his own flesh and blood.

he was a teenager when he dreamed of running away from the constant but inevitable competition he had with his brother. scouted for the third division, he relished on the freedom. but how do you escape the reality of the one you love loving the one person you could never measure up to?

[goldengleams]

maxed out | luke hughes

In which Luke calls you out.

Warnings: swearing, fighting

LUKE HUGHES!!!!! ANGST!!!!! Two of my favorite things, hope you enjoy!

————————————————————————

The week was almost over but you felt like you hadn’t achieved anything. You had completed dense readings and wrote two papers and yet an exam and a project loomed in the future. And that wasn’t including the internships you needed to apply for. Apparently they weren’t kidding when they said junior year of college was going to hit you like a ton of bricks.

Three of Luke’s attempts to set up a FaceTime date with you had gone declined, you had opted to do more work instead. Instead of watching a livestream of your boyfriend’s game, you settled for watching the highlight reel before you went to sleep, sending him a congratulatory text when he played well.

You knew long distance with Luke wouldn’t be easy but you both were willing to give it a try. Your relationship was strong when Luke was at Michigan and you thought you would be able to balance everything.

You thought wrong.

Forgotten were all the busy nights when Luke had saved you from your studies or you went to watch a movie with him in his room. Quick lunches and chats in between classes seemed so important just a year ago, but now you couldn’t bring yourself to take your mind off college.

You had sent endless apologies to Luke, which he accepted, but you still felt bad. You knew each other’s schedules pretty well so you felt bad declining his advances when he knew you didn’t have a club meeting or a class. Unfortunately, you never really had a real break due to assignments.

As you wrote in the homework for the next week in your planner, you heard other girls passing by your door. Their voices were loud as they talked about which bar to hit up first, who they were going to meet there.

You felt yourself slipping, tears forming in your eyes at the reminder that that was you. Last fall, you had the boyfriend, the friend group, the perfect schedule. Now, that had all crumbled. You hadn’t felt this alone since your first semester.

As if your body was reacting to the stress you had put it under, you felt yourself start to tremble. Your pen fell from your hand as it shook and you slumped over at your desk. You tried to breathe through the shakiness that overcame you, but it was no use.

You had pushed everyone away in hopes that you could accomplish your schoolwork and applications before you devoted time to relationships with others. Luke, especially, had hurt the most to ignore. He had never made you feel alone. Now, you felt absolutely defeated.

In the midst of your tears, you felt your desk vibrating. Lifting your head, you saw your phone sat on the charger, buzzing with a call.

“Call from Luke Hughes 🤍”

Your stomach dropped. You knew exactly what Luke was doing. About a year ago, when he had first started thinking about leaving early to play in the NHL, Luke had pushed you away, thinking it would hurt less. In an effort to save your budding relationship, you made a promise to call each other when you felt like you weren’t ready to talk face to face. If the other felt like something was wrong, a call was the way to get them to open up.

But Luke had never called you before.

Taking a deep breath, you quickly tried to gather yourself before you clicked the green answer button.

“Hey,” you croaked. You quietly tried to clear your throat so that Luke wouldn’t think something was wrong.

“Hi Y/N,” Luke said softly.

A beat went by with no conversation, so you decided to take control in an effort to steer him off his original course.

“Um, how was the game? I didn’t catch the highlights yet, I’ve just been finishing some homework.”

“On a Friday?” Luke questioned. His tone of voice was bordering on disapproving.

“Yeah, Luke,” you bit back. “I’ve been swamped with work.”

“Y/N, you’re literally the only person I know who works this hard. You can’t always be swamped with work, my god,” Luke complained. “We haven’t talked in a week, y’know.”

“I know, Luke,” you said, feeling a lump rising in your throat.

“I just don’t get it, Y/N. Things used to be so much easier. We used to actually make time for each other, and we used to-“

“Luke, don’t tell me shit I already know,” you warned. “We both knew that things would be different long distance, and we’re still figuring it out.” You knew it was a weak argument, but you felt the need to defend yourself against his fighting words. Whenever you called Luke out on his lack of communication, you never went in with criticism like this.

“No, no I will tell you because I thought we agreed to be there for each other, Y/N. You don’t even watch my games, let alone care about my well-being. It’s like you’re not even there!”

“Are you serious?” You flared. Whether it was due to Luke being the youngest sibling or just being a boy, he always knew how to push your buttons at the worst times. “You know how much I care about you, so don’t even say that, Luke.”

“Yeah well it doesn’t feel like it-it feels like I’m just another task for you now, Y/N,” Luke shouted into the phone. “I have games and practice and everything else and I still manage to talk to you!”

“Well I’m sorry that I’m still in college, trying to get a degree and an internship and every other fucking thing at the same time!” You snapped.

“See, you don’t even care that I was literally there with you, not even six months ago!” You could hear Luke slamming his hand on his desk and you imagined he had a pretty intense look on his face. This wasn’t good. “In case you forgot, I took classes and did homework too, Y/N, but I still had a social life and cared about my friends. It’s like you’re trying to act like you’re smarter than me as an excuse!”

“Fuck you, Luke!” You hadn’t meant to start yelling at Luke, especially not through the phone, but you couldn’t help it. You were at your breaking point with school and Luke was at his breaking point with you.

By now, the tears were flowing in steady streams down your face. To be pushed to the side like this by Luke was something you had never expected.

You couldn’t help the sob that escaped your throat. Once one got out, you couldn’t stop them. The weight of your relationship, school, and your future was finally crashing in on you.

“Y/N?” Luke asked. “Babe, I’m sorry.”

“No you’re not!” You mustered out through your tears. “You called me and I thought you were gonna ask me if I was okay, if I needed anything.”

“And, god, I know I haven’t been a good girlfriend or a good friend, Luke, but I’m on the verge of a fucking breakdown and, and I can barely get through each day, and I guess I just hoped you could tell,” you gasped, feeling close to the point of no return. “I hoped that you wouldn’t give up on me.”

There was silence on Luke’s end of the line.

Your heavy breathing filled in the tense space. You were acutely aware that your walls were thin and someone may have heard everything, but you couldn’t care at this point. You sniffled pitifully, full blown crying having calmed down a little.

“I’d never give up on you, Y/N,” Luke said quietly. “You know I care about you, I’d never give up on what we have.”

You felt a breath enter your lungs as he said it. Maybe there really was hope.

“For real? Because we just had a screaming match on the phone,” you let out a pitiful wet chuckle.

"Well, I did plan to call you tonight to like, actually call you out and see if you were okay but it didn't really go that way," Luke said, sheepishly. "I never wanted to make you cry, Y/N. I'm sorry."

You nodded, knowing Luke couldn't see you but feeling comfort in his intention. You took a deep breath, feeling your nerves calm.

"I mean, you weren't wrong, Luke. I haven't called you and I haven't texted, and I know it's not right but I was just so overwhelmed that I didn't want to take it out on you,” you sighed. “Everything’s been piling up and it’s hard for me to admit that I need help.”

"Y/N," Luke whined. "You know I'm here. You don't have to be stressed out all alone, babe."

"I know," you mumbled. You dragged the sleeve of your sweatshirt across your face to wipe your tears. "I miss you, Lukey. School isn’t fun when you’re not here."

Your phone started buzzing on your desk and you realized that Luke was trying to FaceTime you. You swore that boy could stay on FaceTime all day if his life depended on it. He loved just watching you through the screen, whether it was getting ready or just cooking, he enjoyed every moment of it.

“Hey babe,” he answered when you picked up. He had a small smile on his face and he looked so cute with his freshly washed hair and sweatshirt on.

“Sorry I look rank, I didn’t think we’d call tonight,” you admitted. Your hair was pulled back in an uncommitted hair style and your glasses sat on the bridge of your nose, half sliding down as you tried to wipe your eyes more.

"You look perfect, Y/N. And I miss you more, by the way," Luke countered, laughing a little. "I just want you to relax and do something other than stress about school."

“I mean, I’d like to do that too, just for the record,” you mumbled, yawning into your hand. The stress of the week was finally making you tired.

“How about you go get your nails done and go to lunch? See if Molly’s around,” Luke suggested.

You smiled at Luke on the screen. Even after your relationship was just tested, you and Luke always seemed to pull through.

“Maybe,” you replied. “I did finish my assignments for this weekend, so I could probably rela-”

“Yes! Just sent you money, I’m texting Rutger to tell Molly,” Luke rambled. Your heart warmed at the idea that he was so adamant on helping you de-stress after everything that went on this week. You watched Luke’s determined face on your phone screen as he went to work. Your boyfriend had always shown his love in actions. Luke poked away at his phone and when he was content, set the phone back up against his desk.

“Rutger said he’ll ask Molly but that she’s probably free, so you can finally leave that cave that you call a room,” he laughed.

“Oh please,” you rolled your eyes. “But thank you, that would be really fun to hang out with someone, I’ve missed doing that.”

You and Luke talked for a few more minutes, catching up on his games and his brothers. He even mentioned flying you out for a game, but that was a conversation for another day when you weren’t exhausted. It wasn’t long before your eyelids were drooping, yawns escaping your mouth frequently.

“Go to sleep, babe,” Luke said softly.

“But I want to talk to you, Lukey,” you mumbled, but also stood up to make the short walk to your bed. You climbed in under the sheets and immediately felt peace.

“Call me in the morning, okay?”

You gave a sleepy nod, and mumbled a goodnight to him. You felt better about everything you had talked about with Luke. Everything would be alright.

“Love you, Y/N,” Luke said.

“Love you, Luke, sweet dreams,” you whispered. You shut your phone off and dreamed of seeing your boyfriend again soon.

————————————————————————

Luke has been looking so boyfriend in the last few games so I had to write this!! Enjoy the angst 🥰 feel free to send me requests!!

[enhastars]

THE RED ROOM જ⁀➴  CHAPTER FIVE

Ever since Heeseung was a child, he had been fascinated with learning new things. While his classmates groaned in unison whenever the teacher introduced a new unit, Heeseung would sit up straighter in his seat, eager to jot down every word. It was in his nature to be curious, a trait that helped him maintain excellent grades throughout his school years.

His favorite pastime, however, was cooking—a passion that directly contradicted his parents' expectations. They were proud of his consistent academic performance and his outstanding report cards, but the moment he mentioned pursuing a career in culinary arts, they outright dismissed it. For Heeseung, this was the most frustrating part of his love for learning: his parents always set limits on what he was allowed to explore. They had insisted medicine was the only respectable path, and while he didn’t hate the idea of studying medicine, his heart was drawn to the kitchen.

By the time college application season arrived, Heeseung knew he needed to get as far from home as possible. His parents’ impossibly high standards left him feeling suffocated, trapped between two unbearable options: become a doctor or be labeled a failure. As soon as the leaves started to turn in early autumn, he applied for early admission to his dream school. With his high GPA and perfect attendance record, it didn’t take long for him to be accepted.

High school almost deterred his love of learning. Classes were less about exploration and more about test scores, a system that drained the joy out of education. But despite the pressure, Heeseung graduated with flying colors and secured a spot at a university far from his overbearing family. Even as a broke undergrad living in a foreign country, he was content. He felt freedom for the first time in his life. 

It wasn’t until his third year of college that cracks began to form in his confidence. He didn’t mind learning English—something he had to do with his school being in the United States—but the career path he’d once envisioned started to feel blurry, like a curved line instead of the straight road he’d imagined.

Do I really want to cook for the rest of my life?

He pondered this question every day. Academically, he was doing well, and he’d even grown close to his roommate, who was also a culinary arts major. But homesickness began to creep in, and the thought of graduating and facing the real world filled him with dread. Who would hire him? He wasn’t anyone special. These doubts dragged Heeseung into a depressive episode, and for weeks, he felt like he was treading water, unsure of his direction.

It wasn’t until one fateful night that things began to shift.

The night had started unremarkably. It was a party, thrown by the frat seniors to celebrate the end of the semester, and somehow, Heeseung had gotten an invitation. Normally, he wasn’t the type to loosen up and crack open a cheap beer at a rave, but his roommate had received an invite for two, and Heeseung figured he could use the distraction.

Socializing wasn’t exactly his strongest suit. He wasn’t awkward, per se, but growing up with his nose in books rather than attending get-togethers had left him lacking in conversational finesse. He often wondered how he’d managed to make any friends at all.

So, when they arrived, Heeseung gravitated toward the corner of the living room, red solo cup in hand, content to observe. He sipped his drink slowly, watching his peers lose themselves in the blaring music and flashing lights. Some were dancing like their lives depended on it, while others slurred half-coherent conversations over the booming bass.

The chaos didn’t bother him. In fact, it was almost comforting. He’d been cramming for his certification exams for weeks, and the constant pressure had drained every ounce of his energy. Now, amidst the noise and the mindless revelry, he felt his stress start to ebb away.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

“I’ve never seen you around here before.”

In a flashback, Heeseung was jolted out of his thoughts by the unfamiliar voice. His head shot up, maroon bangs flopping against his forehead from the quick movement. Standing in front of him was a slightly shorter man wearing a Carhartt beanie that covered most of his hair, his lips curved into a drunk, easygoing smile.

Heeseung froze for a moment, captivated. The man’s bright azure eyes were obviously colored contacts, but they were no less mesmerizing. Heeseung felt his heart skip a beat. He was instantly smitten.

“Yeah, I don’t come here often,” Heeseung replied, setting down his drink as a smirk tugged at the corners of his lips.

“Yeah? Where’re you from?” the man asked, his words slightly slurred. He was clearly drunk, but instead of being put off, Heeseung found himself closing the distance between them. His body moved before his brain could catch up—probably the alcohol loosening his inhibitions.

“Johnson & Wales. I’m a culinary arts major.”

The other man’s jaw dropped slightly, his surprise evident even through the haze of intoxication.

“Holy shit, dude, that’s fucking amazing,” the man said, his voice enthusiastic but unsteady. A moment later, he winced and pressed a hand to his forehead, looking like he might throw up.

Heeseung instinctively took a step back, bracing himself. The last thing he wanted was to end the night with puke on his freshly bought clothes.

“Relax, man. I’m not gonna barf on you,” the stranger reassured him with a chuckle, leaning against the wall for support.

Heeseung felt his cheeks heat up but was grateful the dim, colorful party lights hid his blush.

“What about you? What do you major in?” Heeseung asked, genuinely curious.

The man laughed—hard. It wasn’t mean-spirited, but it caught Heeseung off guard. He furrowed his brow, puzzled. The question didn’t seem that strange or personal.

“I don’t go to college, dude,” the man finally said, grinning as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

“What? Then why are you here?”

The man shrugged nonchalantly, snatching Heeseung’s mostly forgotten drink and downing the rest without hesitation.

“I just like partying.”

Heeseung scoffed, though a smile spread across his face at the man’s shameless honesty. There was something about his openness that Heeseung couldn’t help but admire. He’d spent his entire life hiding his emotions and true feelings from others, so meeting someone who acted like an open book made him equally envious and intrigued.

“So, you must be good at cooking, right?” the man asked, his tone teasing yet genuine. 

Heeseung nodded cautiously. “What about it?”

The man rummaged through his jacket pockets, his movements clumsy but determined, until he pulled out a crumpled business card. He held it out to Heeseung, who blinked in confusion

“Well, I just opened a restaurant with my friends,” the man explained, pointing at the card now in Heeseung’s hands. “And if you’re looking for a job—” he tapped the card again, grinning—“give us a call.”

Heeseung opened his mouth to respond, to tell him that he wasn’t really looking for work or to ask why this whole thing seemed so sketchy, but before he could get a word out, the man had already disappeared into the crowd.

Heeseung stood on his tiptoes, craning his neck to search for him, but the room was a chaotic blur of flashing lights, loud music, and drunken bodies. Giving up with a sigh, he leaned back against the wall, the bass from the speakers thrumming through his chest.

Disappointment was just beginning to creep in when his eyes drifted to the card in his hand. Scrawled messily on the back, alongside the restaurant’s information, was a phone number.

Heeseung’s heart leapt. That had to be the guy’s number. A super hot guy had just handed him his number—granted, under professional pretenses, but still. He couldn’t help the grin that spread across his face. 

Thank god he’d decided to come to this party tonight. He definitely owed his roommate a huge thank-you for dragging him along.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Heeseung couldn’t stop thinking about that encounter. The gnawing feeling in his chest had lingered for days, refusing to settle no matter how much he tried to brush it off. Now, a few days later, he was sitting in the corner of a small, unfamiliar café with legs bouncing under the table as his nerves got the better of him.

The man he’d met that night seemed Korean, just like him. He’d picked up on the faint accent when the guy spoke English, a familiarity that tugged at his heartstrings.

He had impulsively called the written number, albeit after thinking about it for a while. Someone answered the phone, and once he told them his name they told him to come to this specific coffee shop. It felt strange. Heeseung had never been to this part of town before, and the person on the phone sounded far more serious than he had been during their first encounter. Heeseung tried to reassure himself that it might’ve just been the phone connection, but the unease didn't go away.

“What the hell am I doing here?” he muttered under his breath. For all he knew, this could be some elaborate human trafficking scheme, and he’d foolishly walked straight into their trap. He even dressed up for this. Great.

Just as he was about to leave and cut his losses, the bell above the door jingled. Heeseung glanced up to see three men walking toward him, all roughly the same height and dressed in black. One wore a T-shirt—crazy, considering the freezing weather outside—while the other two had hoodies pulled up over their heads.

He couldn’t see their faces clearly, as all three wore black masks, but one of them immediately caught his attention. The familiar frame made Heeseung relax slightly.

“Hey! You came!” Yep, it definitely was the same guy. He got up, fixing his teddy coat on the chair behind him. The said male took his hand, shaking it with excitement.

“Surprising, considering I don’t even know your name,” Heeseung teased, smirking as he gestured for the group to take a seat. The latter grinned sheepishly while the other two men sat down silently, one of them swatting him on the back of the head.

“You didn’t even introduce yourself, Jake? It’s a miracle this guy showed up at all,” said the man in the T-shirt, his gruff voice betraying a hint of irritation. Heeseung noted the faint rasp, like he’d been nursing a cold for weeks.

It was in Korean, which Heeseung may have forgotten a bit after being in Rhode Island for so long, but he could still pick up what was said. 

“This idiot,” the other man scoffed, pulling off his cap to reveal dark blue hair.

Heeseung chuckled at the exchange, unable to hold back an airy laugh. His reaction caught the three of them off guard, and they turned to him with varying degrees of surprise.

“Wait—you know Korean?” The shorter man–Jake–asked, wide-eyed.

“Of course I do,” Heeseung replied, finding their reactions amusing. It was almost as if they’d been caught talking behind his back (even though they hadn’t really).

Jake groaned, burying his face in his hands. “You should’ve told me that earlier,” he muttered, clearly embarrassed.

“Your English is great. Don’t sell yourself short,” Heeseung reassured him with a kind smile.

Jake’s ears turned red, and Heeseung found the sight inexplicably adorable. Everything about Jake was adorable, he realized. It was probably the only reason he was still seated here, despite how suspicious the whole situation felt.

“Ahem.” The blue-haired man next to Jake cleared his throat, looking unimpressed. Heeseung quickly collected himself, feeling warmth rush to his cheeks. He’d been caught staring.

“What is this, a date?” He asked with a teasing smirk, though his sharp tone made it clear he wasn’t amused.

Jake shot him a glare that went ignored.

“Jay’s right,” the man in the middle interjected. “This is about business.”

Heeseung turned his attention to the one who spoke. The man’s presence was calm but commanding, and Heeseung immediately pegged him as the leader of the group.

“So you guys are legit?” Heeseung asked, raising a skeptical brow. “I’m surprised.”

“Of course we’re legit,” the man said, scoffing lightly. “I’m Sunghoon, by the way. And you are?”

“Heeseung.”

“Nice to meet you, Heeseung.”

The exchange was polite enough, but the silence that followed was stifling. Heeseung shifted uncomfortably in his seat as Jake sipped from his drink, seemingly oblivious to the awkward tension.

Jay elbowed Jake sharply in the ribs, earning a pained groan.

“Ow! Asshole,” He hissed, rubbing his side.

“Can we get to the point already? We’re just sitting here like girls at a tea party,” Jay grumbled.

Heeseung found it hard to believe these three were running a legitimate business. They seemed more like bickering siblings than professionals.

“So, is it like a restaurant?” Heeseung asked, cutting through the chatter.

“Something like that!” Sunghoon grinned, but instead of reassuring Heeseung, it put him on edge. There was something about the overly eager expression that didn’t sit right with him.

“We’re still in the process of building a home base,” Sunghoon continued, “but we’re working with our legal team to get everything sorted.”

Heeseung blinked in disbelief, taken aback. These people don’t even have a settlement yet? Why the hell are they hiring so early?

“Wait—so you guys don’t even have a restaurant yet? Like, at all?”

Sunghoon opened his mouth, but Jay beat him to it. “Uh…” Jay avoided his gaze, suddenly very interested in his empty coffee cup.

Jake laughed nervously, trying to diffuse the tension. “Like hyung said, we’re in the process. It wouldn’t hurt to have extra help early on.”

“Oh yeah? And with what money are you going to pay me?” Heeseung asked, crossing his arms as he leveled a challenging glare at Jake.

Jake shrank back slightly, but Heeseung softened his gaze, not wanting to come off too harsh.

“Relax,” Sunghoon said cautiously, holding up his hands in a calming gesture.

“How do I know you’re not planning to kidnap me and sell my organs?” Heeseung joked, narrowing his eyes playfully.

Their eyes widened, and Jisung’s straw fell from his mouth dramatically. For a split second, fear was instilled in all their eyes as they all glanced at each other, and Minho thought he was spot on and they really were planning on kidnapping him, but they suddenly erupted into laughter. His brows furrowed, a frown growing on his lips. 

Their reactions were immediate. All three men froze, their wide eyes darting to one another like they’d been caught. For a brief moment, Heeseung’s stomach dropped as thought he’d hit the nail on the head, but then they suddenly burst into laughter.

“Oh my god, you’re hilarious,” Jay said, doubling over the table.

“We’re not in the black market, don’t worry,” Sunghoon said with a tired grin.

“Oh yeah, very reassuring,” Heeseung muttered sarcastically.

Sunghoon looked to be in thought for a second before leaning over the table, hands nearly brushing Heeseung’s. 

“How about a starting salary of 70k?” 

Heeseung’s jaw dropped, any grudges and speculations out the window. 70,000 dollars a year, and only the first year was insane. It was too good to be true. 

“Deal.” Fuck it, why not? It’s not like he had a set job for him after college, and he would be able to work with people he already (kinda) knew. Still, he was a little unsure. 

“You sure? You can’t go back after signing our contract.”

Heeseung rolled his eyes. This guy was unbelievable.

“I said yes, didn’t I?”

There was no turning back now. Jake and Jay’s faces lit up, both of them grinning like kids in a candy store. Even Sunghoon, who tried to maintain an air of professionalism, couldn’t entirely hide the giddiness in his expression. What absolute dorks.

“Thank you! I promise, you won’t regret it!” Jake exclaimed, jumping out of his seat with enough enthusiasm to draw attention from nearby tables. Jay groaned, swatting at him to sit back down and shushing him under his breath.

“Here are my credentials,” Sunghoon said, pulling a small piece of paper from his pocket and sliding it across the table. It looked like a business card—or at least, an attempt at one. It wasn’t the most professional thing Heeseung had ever seen, but it seemed legit enough.

“Wait, but where do I go—”

“Bye, Heeseung! Pleasure meeting you!”

Before Heeseung could finish his question, they were already halfway out the door. Sunghoon waved over his shoulder, and Jake and Jay trailed after him, leaving a few stray bills on the table to cover their drinks.

The whole thing happened so quickly that it left Heeseung momentarily stunned. He glanced at the unfinished drinks they’d left behind, then back at the café’s entrance. Why were they in such a hurry? And why did everything feel so rushed?

Letting out a long sigh, Heeseung slumped back into his chair. His fingers fiddled with the business card as his thoughts spiraled.

“What in the world did I just get myself into?”

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

The present wasn’t quite what Heeseung had imagined back at that café.

He stood in the kitchen now, the scent of spices and fresh herbs filling the air. The restaurant was bustling as usual, orders flying in and out of the small window where servers grabbed trays. From the outside, it was perfect—a fine dining dream. But Heeseung knew better. Behind the scenes, the restaurant was a smokescreen for something far more dangerous. What it was, he had no clue. 

Heeseung wiped his hands on his apron, his eyes darting to the exit where Sunghoon left with Jake and Jay following him. They were huddled together, their voices low as they talked about something that had Heeseung’s stomach twisting in knots. He tried to focus on cleaning his station, but he couldn’t ignore the looks they exchanged—subtle, but unmistakable. Something was going on, and it was something he wasn’t part of. Or maybe he was part of it, but they’d never been honest enough to tell him.

Heeseung thought of the small business card that had been tucked away in his wallet for years. The edges were frayed now, the text faded from overhandling.

When Heeseung first stepped into the restaurant, he froze in disbelief.

This couldn’t be it.

The “restaurant” Sunghoon had hyped up was nothing more than a cramped, dingy one-room building tucked into the back alleys of town. A faded neon sign outside flickered weakly, barely forming the word “Open.” Inside, the smell of grease and mildew hung in the air, mixing with something metallic and faintly sour.

The walls were stained with what he hoped was just grease, and the kitchen—if it could even be called that—was a mess of mismatched appliances and chipped countertops. The stove looked like it hadn’t been cleaned in years, and the lone refrigerator hummed so loudly it sounded like it was on its last legs.

Heeseung’s shoulders slumped as he surveyed the scene. This can’t be real.

“This is… certainly not what I expected,” he muttered under his breath, feeling the weight of disappointment settle in his chest.

Jake, who had been watching him nervously from behind, took a step forward. “It’s not much, but—”

“It’s literally nothing,” Heeseung cut him off, his voice flat.

Jake flinched, his usual cheeriness dimming for a moment. Heeseung turned on his heel, already reaching for the door.

“This was a mistake,” he said, shaking his head. “I didn’t sign up to work in a dump.”

“Wait!” Jake’s voice rang out, stopping Heeseung mid-step. He turned back reluctantly, eyebrows raised in a mix of impatience and skepticism. Jake jogged toward him, blocking his path with a desperate expression.

“Just… give us a chance!” Jake said, his words tumbling out quickly. “I know it doesn’t look like much right now, but it’s got potential. We’ve got potential.”

“Potential doesn’t pay the bills,” Heeseung replied, his tone sharp.

“Listen man, I get it.” Jake said, raising his hands in surrender. “But you’re a chef, right? You know what it’s like to take something raw and turn it into something amazing. That’s what we’re doing here, we just need someone like you to help us get started.” It sounded like he was scrambling. 

Heeseung stared at him, unmoved. This had to be a prank, and he was not finding it funny. 

“Jake.”

Both men turned to see Sunghoon stepping forward, his calm, steady presence immediately commanding attention. Jay followed close behind, his expression unreadable.

“Let me handle this,” Sunghoon said, brushing past Jake and stopping just a few feet from Heeseung.

Oh great. Spare me. 

Sunghoon’s gaze was piercing, but his voice was measured and controlled. “Heeseung, I understand your reluctancy. This place doesn’t look like much right now. Hell, it doesn’t look like anything. But you’ve got to trust me—we’re building something bigger than this.”

Heeseung’s eyes narrowed. “And what, exactly, are you building?”

“A legacy,” Sunghoon said, the word rolling off his tongue like it was the easiest answer in the world. “We’re not just opening a restaurant. We’re creating a name for ourselves. Something people will talk about for years to come.”

Heeseung snorted, unimpressed. “That’s a nice dream, but I’m not seeing how it connects to this.” He gestured around the room, his eyes lingering on the flickering light in the corner and the stained walls. “Some legacy..” 

“That’s why we need you,” Sunghoon said, taking another step forward. “Once this place takes off—which it will—you would have been a part of it from the beginning. This is more than just a job, Heeseung.”

“That’s a nice speech and all, but how are you supposed to pay me 70k a year?” Heeseung still wasn’t buying it, his stubbornness preceding all else. 

“You are a chef, right?” 

Sunghoon held his gaze, almost piercing into Heeseung’s eyes. 

“Cooking. Making sure the food tastes good—that’s all you need to worry about. We’ll take care of everything else.”

Heeseung spared a glance at Jake, who was fidgeting with the hem of his hoodie, and Jay, who stood with his arms crossed, looking quietly determined. His eyes returned to Sunghoon, who was watching him intently, as though daring him to say no.

There was something about the way Sunghoon spoke—calm, confident, and unwavering—that made Heeseung pause. Against his better judgment, a small part of him wanted to believe in what they were saying.

“You really think this place has a chance?” Heeseung sighed, his voice quieter now. 

Sunghoon’s lips curved into a faint smile. “I don’t think. I know.”

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

author note: omg im so sorry i took so long to update!! this semester has been one of my hardest but i passed orgo 2 woooo!!! 😋 and i'm finally on summer break so i thought why not pick back up on where i left off? i hope you guys enjoy! (alice this is for u twin)

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taglist: @rebeccaaaaaaaa, @strxwbloody, @shuichi-sama, @pshbites

[absolutebl]

thai language question! what do tongthap and atom call each other in MLMU TH? it sounds like ‘nai’ or maybe ‘ngai’? it’s translated to both of their names several times on the YT subs. i’ve tried to look it up but i’m not sure i’m hearing it right 🙈

Thai pronoun: Nai

They are indeed using nai. Hold on I know I posted about that one at some point... AH HA here it is:

you want this section: (but I'll c&p it over here add to it at the bottom)

Nai & the Mafia 

So in 2022 Thai BLs seriously started moving setting outside of the school systems and thus added new pronouns (for us watchers) into the mix. KinnPorsche, Even Sun, and Unforgotten Night all use the pronoun nai (นาย) for you between men. Like many honorifics & pronouns, it’s derived from a minor title of nobility. In the 19th century it was declared the official courtesy title for adult males - regarded as a direct translation of “Mr”. 

It has several different uses today. 

As a title, it only appears before the real given name (not surname), in official/formal contexts, e.g. when writing down one’s name on an exam paper, job application, or government form. If used with a nickname, it implies a bit of irony (like a teacher calling out a misbehaving student). 

As a pronoun, it’s usually an informal second-person pronoun used with males of equal status. It’s a decidedly non-rude word, so it’ll be used among friends/classmates if they don’t feel close enough to use gu/mueng (or if a person just doesn’t use rude pronouns, like swear words there are people who don’t feel comfortable ever saying guu/mueng). 

Rao/nai as pronouns used to be the default mode of address on TV before gu/mueng became acceptable to broadcast in the 2010s. 

When used by females, nai is pretty much equivalent to males using ter with females - so an old fashioned but intimate and sweet, loving. 

On TV, the use of ter/nai is probably most often associated with straight dramas in the acquaintance phase of courting. 

Nai also has the meaning “boss” (similarly to the combined form เจ้านาย (jao nai/chao nai). If it’s being used as a pronoun in a more formal or deferential context (like organized crime), it is used in this sense. 

Usage number 2 & 6 are the ones we see in Thai BL. All that said I understand as a tourist in Thailand, you will hear nai but not all that often. It’s fine to use khun instead/back, but good to know to identify nai. 

Nai & My Love Mix Up

So My Love Mix Up is using #2.

With adult males, nai is actually often paired with chan. (I know, right, but it's what they use. See any of the mafia shows.)

But in this high school setting, Atom & Kongthap seem to be using pom or sometimes even tan. (I haven't touched on tan at all because I find it the most confusing pronoun.)

Atom & Half use guu/mueng. Atom use rao/name with Mudmee, and she does they same with him. Although I think she shifts to chan with Half when they get closer.

Kongthap doesn't seem to ever use informal. Even Half uses nai with him.

So I think the use of polite nai in this relationship is being dictated by Kongthap's character's reserved gentlemanly stiffness (much as in the original show). In other words, were it not for Kongthap's personality, this show in this setting (and with this pair) would be using guu/mueng. But because of the original IP and the extreme reserve of Ida in Kieta Hatsukoi (who also uses quite formal Japanese) we are seeing a linguistic characterization of one half of a couple carry through to the tenor of the whole relationship.

In other words, the use of nai was dictated by Kongthap's personality.

Frankly put, Kongthap would simply not use guu/mueng so they had to find some other way for these two to communicate. Rao/ter is too sweet and cute and old fashioned out the gate (these boys could graduate to it, I suppose, like in college or after).

Now they might have used khun instead of nai. If this were set in uni or the office that would have worked fine. Or even if this were a high school in Bangkok. But I'm not surprised they reached for nai.

In fact, since the announcement of the adaptation I was curious about how they were going to approach Kongthap's pronouns. I thought they might make Kongthap older to solve the issue with phi but they wanted to do the "going away to college together?" part of the plot, so yeah... nai is the solution.

This couple sounds a bit stiff and distanced from each other when speaking together as a result, but I understand why the script chose it.

Hope that explains.

(source)

[pisstintedglasses]

"I'm a Man Too" P.SH × Reader

• Sunghoon x Yeji's best friend! Reader •

Warnings: slight angst, reader is Sunghoon's Sister's best friend, smut, slowburn, underage [consensual] sex, fluff, p in v, idk what else. Nana x Shoji inspired situation !!

Don't like? Don't read.

Word count: 8.7k

‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.‧₊˚

Growing up with multiple hobbies sounds chaotic, especially for an introvert. At least, that's what you thought. Still, you joined a different club or sport every semester whenever it caught your attention. Or rather, when someone from said club catches your eye.

In your first year of middle school, you joined the student council after you heard about a cute guy thinking of running. Which, in the end, you grew tired of, having practically no rest after school due to the constant meetings.

So you quit in your 2nd year, only to sign up for the art club to impress your friend who you've been crushing on for a while. Realizing you held no real passion towards art as well, you decided to drop it.

On your last year in middle school, with your mind clouded with the thoughts of graduating and a certain bad boy who liked strong girls, you once again dove into club applications head first.

The martial arts club, to be exact. The boy was in the club since his first year and was already advanced compared to the new members, so he also aided in training the others alongside the coach.

Imagine the ecstasy you felt when he brushed a hand down your back to fix your posture. You took this club pretty seriously at first, since the bad boy became your training buddy. It was all going well until he announced his relationship with another member of the team.

Heartbroken, you started showing up to practice less and less until you practically quit. Deciding you had enough of chasing after boys, you focus on yourself and academics until you graduate.

You were finally yourself, doing whatever you wanted with your friends. As much as you could, before it was time to take exams to get into the high school you wanted.

One time, while you were at a year-end party for the seniors, you stumbled upon one of the prettiest girls you've seen. Park Yeji. She was famous for being Park Sunghoon's sister. That's all she was practically known for. Being the brother of a young, pro figure skater who appeared on tv multiple times.

A bit tipsy from the spiked punch they were serving at the party, you had the confidence to just strut your heeled feet towards her and strike a conversation. To which she gladly participated in, genuinely having fun with you.

After the party and a couple hangouts with just the two of you, you started feeling a bond form. Introducing one another to your other friends and family, Park Yeji instantly became a close and trusted friend friend.

Close enough that you both applied for and got into the same high school. It was only a matter of time before she introduced you to her brother.

It went well, to say the least. At least, that's what it seemed to Yeji. Coming home from a little cafe date with you, she didn't expect her brother to be home early.

"Oh, Sunghoon oppa! (Apologies if you think oppa is cringe, but I lowkey headcanon that Sunghoon gets upset with Yeji when she doesn't address him as such). I didn't know you were home. Don't you have practice?"

Your friend queried as your eyes trailed towards the tall boy sitting in their living room couch, a random documentary set up on the tv. Not even sparing a glance until he heard his sister's voice.

Once he finally turned his head towards the door, your eyes met, and you couldn't help but stare in awe at his features. Similar to Yeji's, but more defined. So handsome.

As if relishing in his beauty marks, his plump lips, his sharp eyes, and his pale skin, you fail to hear that your friend was prompting you to give yourself an introduction.

You only noticed when she nudged you with her elbow and cleared throat, raising her eyebrows and nodding towards her brother then at you, expectantly.

"O-oh! Uh, right. It's our first time meeting.." You mumbled, quickly introducing yourself and bowing as a sign of respect. To which he reciprocated, standing up from his seat to introduce himself and bowing as well.

Oh god. His voice is fucking dreamy.

You almost mentioned aloud before your friend pulled you towards her room. "We're just going to watch a movie in my room, don't bother us, okay?" She warned. The boy only shrugged it off and placed all of his attention back on the tv.

Of course, he wouldn't. You knew from his short introduction and a few stories from Yeji that Sunghoon's not a very social person.

Still, you hoped he'd at least take a second glance your way.

And he does, but much to your dismay, you didn't notice. He doesn't realize it right away, but maybe. Just maybe, he found you attractive.

The moment you stepped into your friends room, she gingerly tells you to sit on the bed. Her sudden mood swing confused you. After all, you two were just giggling with each other before stepping foot into her house.

"Sure." Sensing the tension, you don't question her and just obey. You expected her to sit next to you, but no. She remains standing and positions herself in front of you with crossed arms.

She sternly calls out your name before starting, "My brother is strictly off-limits."

You were surprised that she caught onto you quickly, yet also offended by the sudden (correct) accusation.

"What-" you tried to at least TRY and deny but she cut you off, "We both know you gave a history for falling fast. But didn't you say you were trying to change?" She reprimanded.

Realizing you couldn't fool her, you just hung your head low and listened. "Please. I care about both of you." She said as she grasped your hand. "I don't want either of your feelings getting hurt."

Still struggling to look her in the eyes, you just tightened your grip on her hands. "Promise me. Look me in the eyes and promise me you won't get with my brother." Her voice cracked mid sentence.

If you weren't being practically interrogated right now, you would have chuckled. Who would have thought Yeji was just as protective as her brother. The same brother who warded off any boy who decided to ever so slightly glance at Yeji for more than a second.

Actually, recalling how you told her everything about my past romantic experiences, you realize she's right to worry about you going after her brother.

- flashback -

"Hey Yeji, have you decided which high school you're gonna apply for?" To which she replied some local one, reasoning it's the same one her brother goes to. [Imagine Sunghoon's just 2 years older than her]

"What about you? Have you decided?" You shook your head no. All you've been focusing on recently was Yeji, partying, and graduating. Now that you've done all three (not Yeji), you're practically clueless.

Sighing, you stare at some blank space and drift off. I'll just apply to multiple and go to whichever accepts me.

••• [ the first day of high school ]

You bump into a surprised Yeji. She wasn't aware you applied for the same school. You didn't tell her to surprise her. Of course, being the good friend she is, she gladly helped introduce you to the other people in class she already knew.

A few cute boys she made you face already made you blush a bit. Cat-eyed Jungwon, Deep voiced Riki, and Smiley Sunoo. Your best friend immediately caught on.

"I get the idea you came here to get a boyfriend.." "N-no! I swear I came here 'cause I heard the education here was good." That was partially true. Your parents recommended this school to you after you told them Yeji was planning on going here too.

She narrowed her eyes at your oh-so-obvious excuse. "Oh, come on. You're telling me you didn't find any of them cute?" "Of course not. They're just my guy friends from middle school. I had many guy friends that if I didn't keep my cool, it would've been bothersome."

Many guy friends.. it's not such a bad thought, actually. Speaking of which, you've never had a guy friend before. All of the boys you've interacted with before, you've had a crush on. And Yeji knew it.

--------

Sighing and understanding why she cared so deeply about her brother, you gave in. "Ok. Yeji, I promise I won't ever think of your brother as a boyfriend-to-be." You vow with genuine determination.

After hearing your words, she finally softened. Releasing the breath she didn't realize she was holding "Try and treat him like a normal person..okay?" You nod. "Alright. I've decided. I'll befriend your brother!"

She stared at me as if you've grown two heads. Seeing her confusion towards my sudden swear, you explain. It's because you most likely won't be able to control your feelings.

Her confused eyes morphed into soft ones. "Wether or not you can control your feelings isn't easy to do. In your case, keeping him as a friend actually IS the best thing you can do."

Her permission to let me befriend him was implied. Lunging forward, you hugged her, making both of you tumble down towards the floor with a loud thud. "Thank you Yejii!! I'll do my best!"

You appreciated her. Letting someone close to her brother isn't an easy thing to do, yet she trusts you enough.

A knock on her door startled you two , but before you could get off of her, the door swung open. "What was that sound?" A worried Sunghoon appeared. His thick yet adorable eyebrows drew close together.

"Ah, Oppa." Your friend deadpanned as if you didn't just tackle her. Seeing him again made your heart skip a beat. Not just because he caught you and his sister in such a position.

No. Wait. I shouldn't get this excited. He's just a friend.

"We were playing around. You can close the door now.. please..!" you explained cheerily, adding the plead at the end when you remembered this wasn't your house.

Yeji just rolled her eyes as her brother just looked at the two of you with an unreadble expression. Slowly shutting the door.

"Well, at least he might think you're a lesbian now." Now it was your turn to roll your eyes. You hoisted her back up on the bed and shrugged at the idea. It's for the better. You reminded yourself. I have to work hard and befriend him.

And so you did. It took about a month before you amd Sunghoon could finally converse without the awkwardness. A whole month where you've been trying to just get to know about him more.

And so here you are. Huddled up in the Parks' living room. Sitting on the floor around their coffee table with Yeji and one of Sunghoon's friends; Jay.

Soda cans were scattered all over the table, some random TV show playing in the background to fill in the silence whenever you'd try to think of something to say next.

Yeji and Jay were having some conversation of their own, leaving Sunghoon and you to your own devices. You wanted to strike up a conversation, but nothing comes to mind at all.

"You seem so quiet." Sunghoon suddenly pointed out, staring at you with those sharp eyes. He went on with how Yeji always said yoj was energetic and talkative, in contrast to how you always acted when you were near him. Then he licked his dry lips and... shit.

Just friends. Just friends.

"No, not at all..!" Seeing your tense shoulders, he couldn't say anything and just stared at you with that same unreadable expression of his.

Jay and Yeji seemed to notice the tension forming and broke the ice for you. Jay hurriedly suggested that maybe you weren't used to talking to guys.

Yeji just cackled cackled at his statement, "That's definitely not the case. She even had a boyfriend until recently." She exposed, but you didn't mind. You were usually open about it to your other friends anyway. Still, you yelled her name in faux offense.

"How about we talk about it? Let's talk about our deepest, innermost secrets, so our friendship will deepen. That's what we did when we first met at the party." She nudged at you as you snickered at the memory.

"What party?" Sunghoon asked. He was unaware that his sister's been going to parties since her second year of middle school. He never allowed her to, after all. But who said she didn't sneak out after everyone else was asleep?

"Okay, I'll start!" She raised a can to her mouth to act as a microphone." I've been going to parties since I was in middle school! Okay, now it's your turn." She passed it to Jay, ignoring her brother's bewildered queries.

"Oh, uh. Shit man, I can't think of anything." You shook your head, "Nahhh, we all do. Come onnn, spit it out! We promise that whatever we drop here stays here." Singhing in defeat, he finally opens his mouth and raises the can to his chin with mumbles of protest.

"I was rejected by a girl before in front of my entire class. As of that wasn't bad enough she said I had bad breath, too." A mix of 'ooh's errupted from the 3 of you.

"Brutal." You commented, while Sunghoon was just snickering beside you, Yeji's party ordeal overshadowed by his friend's painful secret.

"You probably still do, though." He teased. "Oh shut up, that was like- 5 years ago."

"After that, I wore a mask and religiously brushed my teeth for 6 whole months!" You began to laugh too before he passed the mic (can) to you. Ah, my turn. You were dreading having to talk, but maybe it was fine.

So our friendship will deepen. Yeji's voice rang in your head.

"Uhh- what do you wanna know?" You asked as you took the can from Jay's grasp. Sunghoon's laughter finally died down, Yeji suggested to talj about your love life. And so you gladly accepted.

"First of all, gimme a second." You gulped down the remains of your drink, forgetting that it wasn't alchohol. I could've needed it if I was gonna spill everything.

. . .

Well, it turns out you didn't need it after all. At first, you were talking about the cute guy from the student government, then the words just kept on flowing out of your mouth until you were having a full-on dramatic story time about your ex crushes.

Your uneasiness left you as soon as you got to talking. And everyone was endeared by the way you spilled your heart out to them. "And then the next guy I fell in love at first sight with was my guy best friend at the time! Puppy-boy Sim Jaeyun!"

"Puppy-boy Sim Jaeyun?" Sunghoon echoed, laughing hysterically again, seemingly finding your love ordeals funny.

"But he really looked like a cute puppy, that Jaeyun! Especially when he smiles!" Your volume was getting loud now, similar to how you always talk to with Yeji. It gathered complains from said girl and Jay.

"Don't overdo it, now-" Yeji tried to interrupt and grab the makeshift mic from you, but Sunghoon interrupted, "So, the next one? who's next?"

You sat back down, excitedly starting as you recalled, "The next one was.." oh. Him. The one yoi took seriously the most. Lee Heeseung.

Flashbacks of how you used to interact flodded your memory. You had just now realized how he played with you. Always giving you teasing touches whenever he helped train and teach you Taekwondo, but ignoring you whenever someone else came near.

"No.." You didn't realize how you mumbled it aloud, and definitely not the tears that now flowed down your cheeks. Yeji became worried and called out your name to ask if you were alright.

Sunghoon also grew worried and asked what was suddenly wrong with you, placing a caring hand on your shoulder.

"See me after school?" Heeseung flashed his charming smile at me again, eyes not on me, but the girl he ended up dating a week later. "Come on, we can check out that café you were yapping about." He placed his hand on my shoulder, which I thought was a sign of affection. But actually, it was to make the girl from afar jealous. He used me.

"Don't!" You slapped the warmth away, startling them all. Sunghoon's eyes furrowed again, "don't..?" "Wah! I'm sorry Oppa! She probably didn't mean to hit you!" Yeji turned to you, "Hey, are you okay?"

You clung to her, just letting out all of your frustrations dampen her pretty sleeping dress.

Don't touch me... Don't touch me if you don't love me.

• • •

(From this part of the story, it will be in your pov)

After my outburst, Yeji led me to her room and laid me down her bed, where I cried myself to sleep. She left me there and walked back outside and softly closed the door behind her.

"Looks like she's staying over for the night." Yeji sighed, getting startled when he brother was standing right outside her door. "Jay fell asleep too. He fell asleep on the couch." He said with his signature deadpan tone. One of the things he has in common with his sister.

But Yeji could care less about his blabbers about Jay. "Say, Oppa.. you don't have a girlfriend, right?" "Why, did your classmates ask if I can bless them with my presence again?" He joked, which caused a disgusted face to bloom on Yeji's face.

"What's with that look? Hey, when I was in middle school, girls would flock to me! I just dont happen to have one right now." He quickly defended himself. He was never one to boast about this, but he didn't like the thought of his sister not thinking he was capable of pulling bitches.

"Heh." "Heh?" "I knew it.." Yeji began. "You were flirting with her today, weren't you? You're weird. You make your intentions so obvious."

Sunghoon stayed quiet at first, a faint blush adorning his usually place cheeks. If you were awake right now, your heartbeat would've paced again. "But she hates me.." He sighed, recalling how I violently pushed him away earlier. Insecurities rushing to his head.

"No, she doesn't." Sunghoon's head shot up, staring at his younger sister with eyes wide. "What?" "The truth is, when you and her first met, she immediately had a crush on you."

He couldn't believe what his sister was blabbing about. She sighed and put her slender hands on his shoulders, "..just please treat her well." That was all she said before she left her brother to go check up on Jay.

• • •

The next morning, I woke up facing a ceiling that definitely didnt belong to my room. Sitting uo immediately, I scanned the room and saw Yeji beside me. Seeing her calmed me down in a second. I was relaxing against her headboard until a flash of last night's happenings.

I tried to piece them together since my mind is still partially hazy from my sleep. Let's see.. uh. We were playing games.. watching tv.. and.. Oh. OH SHIT.

My hands flew to my face as I shrieked, much to Yeji's dismay. "What are you screaming about so early in the morning.." she grumbled, elbowing my side.

"YEJI, I FUCKING EMBARASSED MYSELF IN FRONT YOUR BROTHER AND HIS FRIEND LAST NIGHT. EMBARASSED ISN'T EVEN HALF OF IT, I PRACTICALLY DUG MY OWN SOCIAL GRAVE-" the girl beside you slapped a hand over your mouth. "For fucks sake it's 7 in the morning. Bitch about your bad decisions later.."

I grumbled against her mouth but just gave in since she practically clamped it on. She wouldn't take it off until I completely shut up. Maybe forgetting the fact that I just revealed to them how much of a love whore I was is the solution.

Slumping back to my sleeping position, I sighed. "Hey." called my friend, eyes still closed, but now she was laying on her stomach. "You still seem pretty hurt about the H situation."

When I said nothing, she kept talking. "...Sunghoon's no longer off-limits." What? "Why would you suddenly suggest that..?"

She finally opened her eyes and locked in with mine. "Because he's a good guy. He's the tyoe to really treasure his girlfriend. And he has feelings for you. I can guarantee it."

Her words went in one ear then out the other.

Yeji trusts me enough to take care of her brother.. "YEJIIII" I hug her close to me once more. "If you were a guy, I'd definitely date you instead." "Huh? Wha- let go of me- you're getting off topic again!"

"But I can't do that. Sunghoon's my important guy friend. How could he be my boyfriend?" Now it was her turn to be shocked. Did she actually just see him as just a friend now? Yeji thought.

//So baby come and get it//

My phone began to ring. My mom's caller ID popped up. "Oh shit, I forgot to tell her I was staying at yours for the night." I got off of the bed and took the call.

"Sorry Yeji, I gotta leave 'cause ma needs me for an errand. I'll see you at school, yeah?" Already opening the door, I waved her a goodbye. Heading out the door, I saw Jay still knocked out on the couch. I wonder where he is.

Wait. No. Don't even think about him. For Yeji.

On cue, their bathroom door opens, revealing Sunghoon in a gray tank top with his hair disheveled and wet. Fuck, are the gods testing me? "Good morning." Holy shit his morning voice.

"O-oh, Good Morning. I was just leaving. Thanks for having me." I bowed and b-lined for the door, ignoring his calls and offers for breakfast.

• • •

The past few weeks passed by in a blur, where Sunghoon has evidently been trying to talk to me more. Whilst I tried my damnest to avoid him. Just like this instant. When we were all gathered at Jay's house when he asked for help with a project.

"A movie?" I quipped. "Yeah, you mentioned that you liked going to the movies. If you're free on Sunday, I was thinking we could go together." With his words so smooth, an imaginary heart practically spawned itself next to him.

As he offered, Yeji was narrowing her eyes at her brother's so cliché strategy, but instantly shot wide open when you spoke, "No, I can't, sorry." Jab 1 "I like watching movies alone." Jab 2 " I can't really focus on appreciating a movie if I have a friend with me." Jab 3.

Sunghoon choked on his own saliva, and truth be told, Yeji was on the verge of doing the same thing, too. You. Lovesick you just rejected a date with THE Park Sunghoon. She was starting to think she hit your head a little too harsh when you did something stupid. She could practically see Sunghoon's imaginary heart break mid-air.

In his mind, Sunghoon was bottling up negative thoughts and insecurities again. 'Guess it won't work, huh..' 'a friend..? Ouch.' He didn't try speaking again until he heard a pained squeak come from you. When he turned, your hand was bleeding.

"What happened? You're bleeding?" Jay called. "I cut myself..!" Jay pointed me towards the first aid kit and was about to help me, but Sunghoon grabbed the kit from him and pulled you to a secluded corner in the room.

Too stunned, I just let him. He poured some antiseptic onto a cotton ball and began to dab it at my wounded finger. "Honestly.. what were you doing? So careless." The pain from the alcohol seeps through me, eliciting whines.

He dabbed it again, but this time with a bit more force, making me wince and retract my hand. "It stings!" "It can't be helped! If you don't treat it now, it won't heal properly! Wouldn't that hurt more?" And just like that, I shut up.

Drifting off again until he I feel a bit of pain. "Stop already, it hurts!" "Calm down! Look it's okay, I took care of it already!" He pulled my hand towards my face, showing the finger that was neatly bandaged. "It should heal quickly."

Heal quickly, huh?

For some reason, his words brought a smile to my face. What a gentle giant.. "thank you, Sunghoon.. You're actually so nice."

You trailed off, but your words sent blood straight to his cheeks. Wanting to hide his aloofness from you, he faced away with a huff.

"No big deal.. I just felt like I had to help you..". Before I could stop myself, my question rolled off of my tongue, reaching his ears. "Hey, how do you think I could heal a broken heart?"

Sunghoon's ears were red now. "I really think.. I can't fall in love ever again." Seriously, I wanted to beg him for an answer. "You really think so..?" He asked, which I nodded. Then, we just sat there. Staring at each other. Yet I still awaited his advice.

He was thinking of something, but nothing came to mind. All he was thinking about right now was how close you were. How you were innocently smiling at him with those cute dimples.

He's actually so pretty up close.. his choice of clothing today really suits him. The same grey tank top I saw him wearing that day after I told them about my love life. with a navy blue jacket paired with dark baggy jeans.

Great sense of fashion. Engrossed in my thoughts, I couldn't hear him whisper my name. He was about to say something when I stood up abruptly.

"Alright, I decided! Oppa, where do you think I can find freshly dressed young men! Like those who wear suits!"

"At a gaming centre..?"

"No,no those places are full of kids yelling at the game for making them lose."

"Then.. a club-?"

"Bingo!"

I rush to where Yeji and Jay were sitting, "hey, why don't we all go to club after we finish Jay's project?" I'll try my best to fall in love again, as long as it's not with Sunghoon!

• • •

And so here I was. Staring at multiple sweaty and horny people grinding against each other to the beats the DJ was playing. The DJ was actually kinda cute.

You were eyeing him since earlier and even asked around about who he was. You learned that his name was Choi Beomgyu... and that he was a womanizer.

Well, it doesn't hurt to just admire from afar, right? I was basking in the club's ambiance alone. Yeji and Jay said they were busy or too lazy to come with, so I brought just me, myself, and I. Still, it felt sort of good to be alone for once.

A few gentle taps landed on my shoulder, and when I turned, I was faced by a broad chest. Looking up, it was Sunghoon. Oh. "I knew I'd find you here.." he managed to pull me out of there after he said that.

"Ahh, that DJ Beomgyu guy was so cool! He was so nice too! " My words were slurred. Maybe the drinks they handed out at the club were spiked. Sunghoon only rolled his eyes at me as I walked alongside each other.

"If you like him, then tell him. You might get to be his girlfriend if you do."

"Nah, I don't want that. I heard he was a womanizer, so he's strictly off-limits. I'm not into womanizers." You contradicted your first words.

"Then stay away from him." He gloomed.

It was nice to chat around like this with a friend that wasn't Yeji for once. Altough it was her brother, but still.

Talking to him feels like talking to Yeji. I giggle at the thought. "You know, when I'm with you, it feels like I'm talking to Yeji."

He gave you a displeased look, so you think of someone else when you're with me?

I went on drabbling again about how Yeji's been so busy these days. "But you know what, it's fine 'cause I have Sunghoon!"

The boy sighed. It looks like I'm just Yeji's replacement..

"Oh, why did you come all the way here to get me, though? Did Yeji get you to come?"

"No, I was out drinking with a few friends and thought you'd be nearby." (He followed you, and when he saw giys staribg at you, he finally decided to get you out of there)

After I replied with an 'oh', there was that silence again. Except this time, it was more relaxed. Maybe it's because I was drunk. I was enjoying the contrast of calmness that the silence offered compared to the club's lust driven energy. This is nice.

"Hey.. uh. I was thinking.." Sunghoon's deep, yet sweet voice rang through the air. I looked at him as I waited for him to continue. He looked good, even with his side profile. That jaw could cut through even the strongest of metals.

"Since I feel like we haven't been able to hang out lately, the four of us.. what if we go on a trip?" With a tinge of hope in them, his eyes finally met mine. "To where?" "Jay's been interested in going to this one beachside motel. He said it had good reviews, too.. so I was thinking maybe we could go."

• • •

Summer vacation came, and we finally pulled through with the 2-day trip. The amount of tumes we had to practically beg Yeji' parents to let her cone with us was so worth it. Now, here we were, lounging at the beach and enjoying the weather.

Yeji and I wore these matching yellow, frilled 2-piece. It suited her so well. And that was the problem. Sunghoon was practically itching to headbutt every single guy who glanced at us. Meanwhile, Jay just minded his own business, setting up the grill so he could start cooking.

The day passed by so fast. We played around the beach, ate whatever Jay burnt for us, swam a bit. Before we knew it, the sun was starting to set. "Hey, it's getting dark. We should go back to the room." Jay offered, already beginning to pack up our stuff.

It was nice. I barely paid attention to Sunghoon the whole day. Maybe I do just see him as a friend now. Still, a part of me ached at the thought of losing interest in the boy.

When we got to me and Yeji's room, the boys stayed over for a few to just drink a few beers with us. Sunghoon normally wouldn't allow his sister to ANY form of alcohol, but after 30 minutes of Yeji pleading with tears threatening to fall from her pretty eyes, he gave in.

We were all giggling at a story Jay was telling, all tipsy, if not near blacked-out drunk. Well.. Sunghoon was. Who knew he'd be such a lightweight.

"It was such a great idea to go to the beach. I was getting tired of the endless tall buildings in our neighborhood. You could barely take aesthetic shots of nature and shit there!" Yeji groaned. "But here, I feel so full of life!"

Jay chuckled at her statement, "Me too, I don't feel like sleeping even after all the shit we've done today." He huffed. All the while, Sunghoon just drank silently, blanking out and staring at the table.

"Oppa, are you sleepy?" Concern laced Yeji's voice at the thought of her brother falling asleep while sitting. He hummed a quick 'eung', and his sister began to pull Jay up by the arm.

"Okay, we'll get going now!" "What? The hell are you talking about? This is your girls' room." Jay protest, still, he let Yeji hoist him towards the door.

"Yeah, Yeji.. are you drunk-?" Now it was my turned to be concerned. Before she could answer my question, she was already out halfway out of the door with Jay in tow.

If Sunghoon wasn't on the verge of blacking out, he'd have killed Jay for even letting Yeji touch him in the first place. Said girl just gave a knowing look and a wink before shutting the door behind her. What is she thinking..?

I turned to look at Sunghoon, who had his head thrown back. "Sunghoon, if you're sleepy, you should lay on the bed already." Wrapping an arm around his, I pulled him up and placed him on his bed. "Are you sure you're okay sharing a room with me?" He whispered once he hit the soft mattress.

"No worries. There are two beds anyway, so it's fine. I won't attack you, so you don't need to worry." I joked to try and lighten the mood. "If it'd help you sleep better, I can sing you a lullaby."

"No you don't have to! But even if you're alright with it, I'm not! I might.. be the one that attacks you.." His sentence started loud but ended quietly when it came to the last few words.

Attack me?

"Why?" I managed to mumble out. "What do you mean, 'why?'" "I mean, aren't we just friends?" I stated like it was the most obvious thing ever, which stunned him. He sighed and sat up on the bed again, calling my name softly.

"Why don't you see me as a man? I've been trying my best to have you notice me, but you're completely shutting me down. Even when Yeji told me you liked me back! I'm a man too. Why can't you see that?"

Eyes widening at his declaration, I couldn't find the words to say. Instead, my mind ran back again to Heeseung. Godammit. I have a perfectly kind and handsome man declaring his love for me, yet Heeseung still haunts me.

"I'm sorry.. I'm sorry." I whimpered out, finally letting the tears fall. "It's just.. I didn't want to betray Yeji.. she cares so much about you. You already know I have a problem with falling in love with people fast but lose interest in them easily. Yeji didn't want either of us to get hurt, so I promised I'd only treat you as a treasured guy friend. It's been so hard to shut my feelings down for you.. so all I've been doing is push you away."

Sunghoon's heart warmed at knowing his sister cares deeply about him. A part of him also felt at ease knowing you were willing to give up your own happiness for his sister. He felt no anger towards Yeji, instead, he just wanted to make you lose the guilt weighing on your shoulders.

After all, Yeji already gave the two of you the green light. He laughed at the irony of the situation, though. He who has been getting white hairs stressing over what he can do to make you acknowledge him behind his sister's back so she won't get hurt, and you who purposely turned a blind eye for the same reason. His sister.

"What's so funny?!" I drawled, sniffing. My tears came to a stop now, distracted  by his obnoxious laughing. When he didn't stop laughing, I noticed how cute he was when he smiles.

I've been trying to avoid looking at him for so long that I forgot how good he looked. Slowly, I began to laugh with him. His laughter was infectious. Our laughter mixed well together until it died down once we got tired.

"Man, we're both fools." He lied back down, resting his head on his arms. "Speak for yourself, hotshot." I nudged him with a playful hand. The air in the room was lighter now, as if we didn't just confess to each other a few minutes ago.

I appreciate how easy it is to talk to him. It's moments like these where I feel like I'm actually talking to Sunghoon as an equal. An individual. Without having to think about the consequences it would bring. It never felt like this with Heeseung.

"So.. are we good now?" He asked. Humming a small 'yes', I waddled to my own bed and plopped down on my stomach, still facing him. "Good. Now that I have made peace with you, we can sleep together ever once in a while, right?" He joked. "What are you talking about?!" He must be blabbering 'cause he's tired.

"It's alright if you don't want to.. I'll endure it for you." Realizing he was serious about it, I didn't say anything. I mean, what could I even say? Sunghoon took the silence negatively though and muttered a defeated "..okay.."

"Hey, don't come up with your own conclusions, I didn't say no!" "Then why didn't you say anything?" Once more, I couldn't think of a reply again. Wait. "If you tell me you love me, I'll sleep with you."

"What." He was shocked for the nth time tonight. "Why so sudden?" "It's just that... remember when I lashed out at you that night we were hanging out at your house? I was thinking about one of the guys I fell in love with.. he used to me to get this other girl jealous. He'd flirt with me, tease me, be all kind to me. Made me feel wanted... loved. But whenever the girl was near, his eyes were all on her... it felt awful."

Tears already glossed over my eyes. His brows drew together again as he listened in, humming to let you know he was. "I never heard anyone say it to me before.. well. Other than Yeji and my family. But it's different if it comes from the man I love."

"I... I'm not used to directly saying it like that. It's cheesy!" He denied, but when we locked eyes again, he felt a pang if guilt pierced through his heart.

"Fuck. I'm a man, why can't I say it!  Fine! I'll act like a different person, a confident one! My name will be Bemjamin!"

"Huh? ? I won't sleep with you if you pretend like you're somebody else! I only want Park Sunghoon!"

I say that, but I play along, blinking the tears away, I went to the table where we left some tea packets lying around.

"I'm making some tea. Would you like some, Benjamin?" My back was turned to him as I began to tear the packet open. I didn't hear him respond, so I was about to turn around, but I felt him standing behind me already.

When I did face him, he quickly pulled me into a hug, softly patting my head. He whispered, "I love you.. so much that it pains me to see you cry. Especially if it's over some loser who didn't deserve you in the first place."  He finished off his words with a peck on my forehead. Only then did we both notice I was already crying again.

I giggled and wrapped my eyes around his shoulders, burying my head in the warmth of his chest. "I love you too, Park Sunghoon." He smiled back and tightened the hug, drawing our bodies closer. When I looked back up at him, he was all red.

"Forget that loser.. let me show you how a man should treat his lover." He raised a hand to the back of my head, I expedted him to gently push my face closer to his, but he didn't quite do it yet. "Will you let me..?"

Oh my fucking god I love him. Smiling, I stood on my tiptoes and finally connected our lips. We stayed like that for a while before he started to move his lips, and so did I. His hand that was once on the my head slid down to my waist, positioned next to his other one.

I tilted my head just enough to deepen the kiss, and he loved it. After a while, we pulled back, a string of saliva hung from my lips to his. We were both smiling ear to ear at each other, giggling again as he picked me up and sat me on the bed. This giddy feeling.. I hope it's mutual.

He leaned in for another kiss, except this time, it was rougher. I was indulging in the feeling of it when he pulled back. "Can I use my tongue?" He looked so serious, and it made your heart flutter how he felt the need to ask if he could go further than an innocent kiss.

Placing an affectionate hand on his flushed cheeks, I assured him, "Sunghoon.. you can do whatever you want to me." Sunghoon's smile seemed to grow wider if that was even possible. He leaned back in with a small "thank you" before plunging his tongue into my mouth.

As we made out, his hands began to roam all over my body. From my back, to my waist, to now, my chest. He tugged at my pajama top as a silent request to take it off. I pulled his hands and let it to the buttons. He got the innuendo and began undoing every button and helped slide the fabric off of my arms.

"Fuck, no bra?" Taking in the sight of my perky nipples, he licked his plump lips. His stare made me cover the girls in shame, only for him to push me down the bed with my arms trapped my his own beside my head. "Hey.. who said you should cover them? They're beautiful. You're beautiful."

His praises shot straight through me and right between your legs. Rubbing them together, I whimpered. "Sunghoon.. it's embarrassing.."It's okay, angel. Just let me make you feel good." He moved down to your chest , maintaining eye contact with me as he licked everywhere on my tits but my nipples. "Sunghoon, don't tease~"

When he did, god, it felt so good. He kept sucking on it, occasionally biting on it to tease a surprised moan out of me. When he was done with that, he moved on to my other tit, giving it the same attention while he fondled the other one.

He was humping the mattress beneath him, my small whimpers of his name turning him on so much. "Sunghoon.. let me do something for you, too.." I whined, finally snapping him from his titty trance. He let my nipple out of his mouth with a 'pop'. "No, angel. Tonight, you're gonna be nothing but a pillow princess."

Those were the last words he said before he slid your pajama down your legs. "Aww, flower patterns? Fucking adorable." "Sunghoon!" He chuckled before he finally took off the remaining piece of clothing I had, my cotton panties. They were comfy.

"Spread your legs for me, angel." He said, but I only shut them close at first, but eventually I do as he says. "Fuck.. You're all wet.." "just for you." Those three words made the man in front of me internally scream in victory, in happiness, in pride.

He dove straight down in front of my pussy, keeping his eyes on mine before giving sweet nios and pecks all over my thighs. I squirmed, wanting to feel some friction on my cunt already. The pleasure violently bolted through my body when he latched his tongue onto my clit without a warning. A pleasured gasp escaping my lips.

He then licked down towards my hole, prodding and circling at the flesh lightly before pushing the muscle in. He constantly switched from plunging his tongue in and nipping at my clit. As if that wasn't already enough to make my my spin from the pleasure, he kept moaning into my cunt too.

His noises are fucking addictive.

"Sunghoonie! I'm close!" My voice sounded breathier and was a few notes higher than normal. I tugged at his hair to try and pry him off of me, but that only caused him to push his head deeper against my cunt, practically smashing his face on it. I could feel his nose rubbing on my clit.

"P-please, I want my first orgasm tonight to be with you~" I tugged again, and this time, he finally stopped. His face was covered in my slick. He was smirking up at me, too, as if he had just won a huge prize. "What?"

"You're so fucking adorable. And romantic." He hovered over me and kissed me once more, allowing me to taste myself. Moaning into the kiss, I wrapped my arms around his shoulders. We just kissed like that again, savoring each other's warmth when I felt something bulgy  against my core.

I looked down and saw the bulge being restricted by his gray sweats. I just realized he was still fully clothed while I was completely exposed to him. "Hoonie~, take off your clothes!"

I whined as I straddled him. His eyes widened at your sudden boldness, but he let me do it. He even raises his arms to help me get his shirt off. Heck, he was loving my little stunt.

Sure, he said you'd be pillow princess tonight, but hey. Who is he to deny himself from witnessing you take control? As much as he wouldn't admit it out loud, he actually likes being taken care of every once in a while.

After Yeji was born, he was expected to always be the more mature one and take care  of her. He was forced to grow up too quickly and have people rely on him. So, times like these where he's the one getting served really means a lot to him.

He lovingly looked down at you, who now nipped over his clothed dick while giving him an innocent look. Fuck, you sure know bow to tease. To his relief, your tease act was quick, as you pulled both his pants and boxers down at once, letting his pretty cock slap against his stomach

Holy shit he's big. That's got to be at least 8 inches.

I realized I gawked at his throbbing dick for a few seconds too long when he was bucking his hips upward. When I looked up at his face, he had this damn sexy, desperate look.

I almost laughed at how eager he looked, but I held it in and grabbed at his just-as-eager dick instead. Gave it a few small pumps before I took it into my mouth, making his hands fly to my hair immediately.

I bobbed my head up and down his length a few times, but his grip on my hair became stronger. Before I knew it, he was fucking his dick into my mouth while he held my head in place. And I just let him. Hollowing my cheeks to give him an added tightness.

How could I not? The noises he's making right now makes me literally gush out in arousal.

I could feel him twitching inside of he, the bulbous head of his dick pulsing. It went on for a few minutes before he abruptly pulled my completely off of him.

When my lips disconnected with his dick, it made such a pornographic 'pop' sound, similar to how it sounded with what he did to my tits earlier.

"On your back, angel." He instructed, but he practically moved me to the position himself, keeping a hand under my thigh to keep it hoisted in mid-air.  He grabbed a condom from the drawer between the two beds and rolled it on himself.

When he was finished gearing himself up, he went back between my legs and raised them uo to his shoulders. Placing a kiss on my forehead, nose, and then lips, he asked, "are you ready?"

I could only nod, but instead, he tsked. "Words, angel. I need to hear you." "Yes, Sunghoon, please." That was all he needed to hear.

He began by just rubbing it against your hole a few times before finally pushing just the tip inside. Your slick made it a bit easier, but still, it hurt.

Sunghoon's sweet nothings and gentle strokes on my hair helped ease the sting of his dick stretching me out. It didn't take long for the pain to subside and make room for pleasure.

Feeling my walls flutter around him, Sunghoon looked at me one more time before he started to move. "Oh, fuck Sunghoon, you feel so good" "you feel even better, angel. Fuck"

His pace started off gentle, but the more he felt the way you clamped around him, the more he started to lose control. His hips snapped to meet yours at a harsh pace.

Your noises blended with his into a sweet symphony of your love, paired with the beat of wet skin slapping against one another. Hjs eyes bore into yours, and you swear if he looked any harder, he could see yours form into hearts.

A sudden wave of embarrassment flushed over me, making me tear my gaze away from him and trail downwards. Towards his lips.. his chest.. his abs.. then my. Oh.

His dick was bulging through my abdomen. Tighten. The sight made me moan, eliciting a groan from Sunghoon at how I squeezed him again.

He noticed how I was still looking down and followed my gaze. The bulge in my abdomen caught his attention in an instant. His dick twitched at it. "Oh fuck- Angel, you're so perfect."

My eyes were rolling back when his pace grew erratic. Everything felt so good. I could feel the tip of his dick kissing my cervix. He was hitting so good. So deep.

The familiar knot in my stomach formed again, and I could feel Sunghoon was close too. "You close, angel?" He said as he slapped a hand to my clit and rubbed at it. "Go ahead, come for me, sweetie."

My back arched at the overwhelming pleasure, "N-no! Ngh! P-please I wan' cum t'getherrr" I slurred, too focused on holding back my orgasm to actually speak coherently.

Shit, even if I wasn't focused on somethjng else right now, I know I still wouldn't be able to speak properly with how good he's dicking me down.

Sunghoon moaned at your words, really loving how affectionate you're being. "Okay, angel, just hold on for a bit more, alright?" He whispered, pressing more kisses on my shoulder.

He finally grew close, his voice becoming louder and higher. And so did yours. But at this point, you didn't care if the other occupants in the motel could hear you. All you cared about rjght nke was Sunghoon.

"Fuck. Okay. On my count.."  The three digits he counted down felt tantalizingly slow, but when he came down to the last one, I finally let go.

My eyes rolled back as I could practically see fireworks form. Sunghoon's dick twitched one more time before he finally came into the condom.

He let out a string of curses and praises as he came down from his high. Pulling out of you and throwing the condom away to the trash bin.

When he laid back down on the bed, he peppered you with kisses, cuddling you to his chest and rubbing sweet circles on your lower back. "Did it hurt too much?" His voice felt raspy and tired, yet still full of genuine concern.

"No, sweetie. You felt great. Best I've ever had." He quirked an eyebrow at you. "Oh yeah? That's wonderful to hear."

"Oh and Sunghoon, thee apple of my?" "Yes, thee love of my life?" I giggled for what felt like hundredth time today before I nuzzled my head to his chest. "This was my first time."

"Wait, what!?" He tried to push me off of his chest to see if I was lying or not, but I attached my body tightly to his so I could hide my smile.

Eventually, he stopped pushing and sighed. "You should've told me, and I would've taken you somewhere more special than this run-down motel." He grumbled, petting my hair again, letting his eyes droop.

Our drowiness finally creeped in on us, and we just laid there like that. Our legs tangled together, hearing each other's heartbeats and a veil of love draping over the two of us.

"I love you, Hoonie" "I love you more, angel."

⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚⋆.˚

Final wc : 8.7k

Notes: WAH HOLY SHIt. I feel like this entire story was too random. I wanted to make it a very similar situation to Nana and Shoji's but had trouble making it as canon as possible.

Now to those who saw the trailer, I know I promised you a Figure skater! Sunghoon × Figure Skater! Reader, but I literally forgot about it 💀💀

I was writing this in my notes so I couldn't see what notes I tagged under it 😭😭

What was supposed to happen was Reader came back to her old habits, joining the figure skating club so she could grow closer to sunghoon.

But I forgot about the canon event so 🎀🎀🎀

I promise I'll make another fic using that dynamic to make it up to yall 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️

Hope u enjoyed ^^

[lemon-dokuro]

Continuing to watch Black Butler and... Reapers are really funny. They're just japanese salarymen and office ladies. In the shinigami OVA (Shinigami Will no Monogatari) they show how they operate and it's through this huge bureaucratic office organisation thing. Really funny, especially consideting the setting. They also all wear glasses. Because they're all near-sighted. Because their eyes are magic or something. Their bureaucratic organisation has a whole Glasses Department. Their glasses are all custom-made by one old guy, who's been doing this for at least a hundred years. They get their custom glasses after passing their trainee exam. It's a status symbol. This is moe, in a neutral sense. They're reaping souls with gardening tools as well, no less. Utterly shamelessly anachronistic modern gardening tools in this Victorian England-set show. I dare not ask where they get them. The logic here is understandable (the traditional reaper's scythe is a gardening tool => why not give them different gardening tools to spice it up), but it's really funny. But that's not even it. Very often, they mod their gardening tools. For fun and fashion, probably? They have to get it approved with the scythe approving department (which exists), but apparently it's common to customize them. Having to get it approved first implies an imposed set of restrictions, right? What in the world are they? There's apparently this guy with a modded lawn mower which is 100% rule-compliant. But Grelle's standard regular chainsaw isn't? According to William in his first appearance, it's not. Though, judging by the phrasing (使用許可申請書を提出していない死神の鎌), maybe she just didn't do the paperwork for it and it's a bureaucratic issue.

Toboso Yana. Release the grim reaper death scythe approval criteria list. And the application form too, please. (unless she already did ages ago)

[sketchsprite]

combining my current interest with my forever interest here is psych as warriors... quick blurb ab the plot and character details below

shawn is a kittypet living near a twoleg neighborhood. his dad (an ex thunderclanner) picked up and left the clan after separating from shawn's mother, and life with twolegs is all shawn has ever known. shawn has kind of started running off on his own, wandering around and he meets acornpaw (gus) - a medicine cat apprentice of thunderclan. the two become besties over time. shawn's "ability to be hyperdiligent "psychic" abilities are presented in the form of starclan - who he had heard tales of from his father, but always assumed that were just made-up stories - speaking to him. someway or another, acornpaw mentions it, and sablestar (chief vick) has her interest piqued. she decides to drag along her deputy, bristleheart (lassiter) and his apprentice, poppypaw (jules) to interrogate the kittypet. shenanigans ensue.

this is just the basic introductory plot! i would love to work on this more and i would love further recommendations. im not 100% set on names or designs yet (though pineapple is technically a valid warrior name) but any suggestions are much appreciated! here are some more character things i thought of hehe

shawn:

has a little pineapple pendant on his collar!! very protective of it.

knows very vaguely of the clans, as his father would sometimes tell him stories of his "glory days" in the forest.

has no intention of joining the clan... but probably hangs out there more than he does with henry or at the twolegplace.

probably has a longtail vs rusty esque fight with bristleheart, minus the getting his collar ripped off - that is where he draws the line!

acornpaw (gus):

tentatively the medicine cat apprentice right now, mostly because im only on season 3 and dont know if there are any fitting characters to be his mentor at the moment.

is very skilled at herb knowledge and applications

good friends with poppypaw, overall liked within the clan!

keeps his side of the med den very organized - he can't speak for his mentor's side.

bristleheart (lassie):

very judgemental and skeptical of shawn when he first learns about him - just like canon!

very short-furred cat - think an oriental shorthair - minus a very fluffy salt n peppa chest

someone please get this cat some brown contacts

decently young for a deputy, but he absolutely worked hard for his position

very overprotective of his clanmates (though he doesnt like to show it), especially his apprentice, poppypaw. she was wounded and left with a torn ear on one of her first border patrols and he feels very guilty that he wasn't able to stop it

poppypaw (jules):

pretty close to having her assessment! she has been working very hard to have a flawless warriors exam

doesn't mind her ear being torn - she thinks it looks really cool!

will often accompany acornpaw herb hunting

quick on her paws and very resourceful

sablestar (vick):

a noble and wise leader, very fit for her title!

still has all nine lives - i like to think shes a relatively new leader

while she keeps up a level-headed facade, she definitely has a silly side to her as well

leader mark is the white tabby "m-shape" on her forehead!

[eponymous-rose]

This is basically journaling at this point, right? Monday!

I'm trying a new exercise program that meets remotely and just seems to be full of cheerful and kind people - today was strength training for arms, shoulders, and upper back, and it was a really fun hour! Actually worth waking up an hour early for, which is a good sign... so I decide to sign up for the next five weeks or so. Class is an hour long and five days a week, which is a huge commitment, but it's easier to find time in the morning and they have three separate class times to choose from each day, so it doesn't keep me from sleeping in a bit when I don't have to be on campus. The focus really seems to be on strength, flexibility, and just moving a lot, and the class size is small enough that I feel like my form will be corrected if I ever get myself in trouble. Should be fun!

Then, e-mail! My potential postdoc found an error in our application that has a deadline two days from now, and another project needs some paperwork from me... I get a little overwhelmed, so I close my laptop and enjoy my coffee. Better just to go in to work and figure this out there. I do a little schedule-swapping when I realize I've double-booked myself over the Thursday lunch hour and opt to take the faculty candidate that day out for dinner instead of lunch (which I thought I was doing anyway? I got real confused).

Class time goes really well - I noticed students glazing over on Friday when going through my lecture (it's an entire lecture dedicated to deriving a single equation - it's very, very dry but necessary to understand the entire second half of the course), so I pivoted to something a little more fun and left the tough stuff for today. I spent a lot of time letting them work in small groups on chunks of the equation and gain a little ownership of the derivation that way, which seems to have been the way to go - we're a little behind schedule, but students are doing great. I also had a student point out that I had class scheduled for Monday, but it's a long weekend holiday. Whoops! There's luckily a lot of leeway baked into this course, so it'll be an easy fix, but I'm not used to running this far behind! I'll extend the deadline for the next homework as well.

Lunch and e-mail and grading, oh my! There is a very dramatic battle going on in this highly specialized work listserv I follow (a very cruel and unlikable person in the field has finally drawn enough ire that it's become a pile-on of dozens of people telling him exactly what they think of him), which makes for entertaining lunchtime reading. The stressful e-mails kind of resolve themselves: the missing document for my postdoc is one that I actually have the authority to write, and only takes about 20 minutes once I sit down to do it. The other paperwork doesn't even apply to me, as it turns out! Phew. I grade my students' next assignment, which is great as always.

Awesome meeting with my MSc student - for the first time, he tells me he's actively planning on staying for the PhD unless an absolute dream job pops up in the next three months or so. I rejoice, tell him he'll do great, and suggest he chat with my nearly-finished PhD student, who did three separate paid internships over his PhD to get a sampling of academic, private-sector, and public-sector jobs. He's really excited at that best-of-both-worlds prospect. He's also stunned when I tell him that his first paper draft is sufficiently rigorous to get him credit for a Master's en route to his PhD - I think he was expecting to have to write a full separate thesis, but our department recently switched so that students continuing on to the PhD just have to do a brief check-in and showcase one publication-quality work as a qualifying exam (alongside a 2-hr exam/conversation with their committee). He's getting his account set up for the supercomputer and I put him on to a textbook (basically a Jupyter notebook collection) about some advanced stats methods that'll serve him well - I need to go through the textbook myself!

Next up: my PhD student's weekly meeting! As I type this, he's fifteen minutes late (not super unusual - he's very hard to get out of a flow state when coding or writing, so he's not always great about letting me know when he's running late or can't make a meeting, and honestly I don't mind much since it just means I have a free hour to work on stuff; after almost six years working with this student, I know he will get the work done even if it means rescheduling the odd meeting), but I really want him to come in today so I can ask about his postdoc interview last week. I ping him on Slack. He reminds me that he told me he'd be out of town today. Whoops. It's me, I'm the problem. I ask him about the interview anyway. He says it went great and to let him know if they check his references, since that will probably mean a yes. I would be SO excited for him for all sorts of reasons related to his future career... and also because he'd get to move to Hawaii for a couple years!

Last meeting of the day! My undergrad senior research assistant is back at it with some really cool events for our high-latitude lightning project. We spend most of the time geeking out over storms in Iceland last week, then move on to talking about the project she's going to present at the undergraduate research symposium!

All day I've had a terrible feeling I forgot to write a letter for someone last week, but searches of my inbox turn up nothing except letters successfully written last month. ???? AND THEN IT HITS: my first-year Master's student wants to attend a summer school learning about new data coming in that she'll likely be using for her project. I offered to write her a letter of recommendation and completely forgot about it! Luckily it turns out not to be due until this Friday. I quickly write that up so I don't forget again, then send it to her co-advisor to get his sign-off on it (I'm the one who offered to write this letter because he's the one paying for the summer school out of his grants!).

Up later this week: TWO faculty interviews, two days each. Phew. Luckily, I'm not the one hosting this time around, and hopefully the weather will cooperate (last week was rough - I was in charge of the candidate's schedule and the university closed due to weather both mornings... and then the public schools all closed for the full day, effectively trapping all the parents in the department at home). I'm honestly most excited about going for lunch with tomorrow's faculty candidate... because we're going to my favorite hole-in-the-wall bahn mi spot near campus. And also for the science and stuff. I guess.

Stuff I gotta do this week: write comments on my MSc student's paper draft and finish my grant proposal!

Time to head home and do a different kind of prep! I'm vending at a two-day card show this weekend and I am SO EXCITED. I've nearly got all my cards into a spreadsheet, including the 1,000+ freebies I have to give out (the best thing is asking a kid their favorite Pokemon and pulling out three or four extremely pretty cards of that Pokemon for them to take home, but it's tough to do if stuff isn't organized properly). Also excited to look like a wizard the next time someone tells me they're looking for cards by a particular artist (fairly common!) - I've cataloged by artist as well. Finally I have found a hobby that sates my love of collecting silly things, my love of puns, and my love of spreadsheets.

[heirloomficinfo]

read it on ao3

<prev next>

Spring, Year of the Dog Hiruzen Sarutobi, age 48

The Third Hokage read the list of Academy applicants that had been denied; the class could hold 30, but only 27 had been accepted. One of his many duties as Hokage was to review the applications and determine if any of the applicants deserved to attend the class despite failing the entrance exam.

Two names caught his attention; Guy Might and Tsubame Atae. Flipping to Guy’s page, Hiruzen was unsurprised to see that the boy had been denied entrance because he appeared to be incapable of calling on his own chakra. His scores for taijutsu were unbelievable; he far surpassed most of the other new students. But his own father Duy was proof that a ninja needed more than taijutsu to be an effective member of a team.

Tsubame’s page told a different story; it seemed that while she knew chakra theory, she hadn’t known the hand signs for a single jutsu. She also hadn’t shown any skill in hand-to-hand taijutsu; instead, she’d apparently shown up to the entrance exam with her mother’s naginata and offered to demonstrate some combat forms with it. The proctor noted that she hadn’t been allowed to try; the naginata standing on one end was almost twice as tall as she was.

With a sigh, Hiruzen stood up. This choice came every year, and every year he had trouble coming to a conclusion he was actually comfortable with. Stepping onto the balcony outside of his office, he looked in the direction of the Academy, stroking his beard as he thought.

A child in a green jumpsuit was running circles in the practice yard, a massive banner strapped to his waist. With some amusement, he realized it was Guy; the banner proclaimed that he would run as many laps as it took to be accepted into the academy. Hiruzen couldn’t be certain how long the boy had been running already, but he could see that Guy was exhausted.

When Guy collapsed, his banner drifting sadly into the dirt with him, Hiruzen sighed again, leaning on the balcony handrail now. Movement in the corner of the practice yard caught his eye; a boy with black hair in a blue and green yukata and black hakama was standing up from the bench at the edge of the yard, setting a book down where he’d been sitting before approaching Guy.

The boy knelt next to Guy, pulling a bamboo water bottle out of a bag he carried and offering it to him. As Guy sat up and accepted his bottle, Hiruzen found himself smiling. It always warmed his heart to see children taking care of one another.

Suddenly, the boy looked up and Hiruzen was met with unnerving silver eyes. Tsubame Atae was at least six now, her hair cut just below the ears and bangs still framing her face. For a brief moment, she looked so much like a young Orochimaru that Hiruzen took a step back from the balcony.

Tsubame didn’t look away, and he realized she hadn’t glanced his way by coincidence; she had sensed him watching her. He’d heard Orochimaru’s testimony that she had an exceptional sensory ability, but seeing it in person was unnerving.

Frowning, he turned back to his office, sitting back down at his desk and picking the Academy report back up.

The next morning, Hiruzen watched the announcement board outside of the Academy from a distance as Duy Might held his crying son. Ayumu Hyuga and her elder sister arrived shortly afterward, celebrating with a quiet hug. Tsubame arrived last, walking alone and wearing the same blue and green boys’ clothes. She read the list of names and turned around, once more finding his eyes from the same impressive distance, and thanked him with a bow. He nodded in response, trying not to think of the day her father made eleven of Konoha’s ninja attack him during one of his walks through the village.

Tsubame Atae, age 6

Tsubame had her mother’s memories now. The strange exchange of knowledge between herself and her mother that had sparked her trip to the hospital and her mother’s later death had left her with five years of her mother’s memories, in no particular order. The time she’d spent unconscious in the hospital had been like an incredibly long dream as five years of broken and mismatched memories played in her mind. The idea of that happening again made her skin crawl. And the more she learned about chakra and ninjutsu, the more certain she was that the exchange had been powered by chakra.

She needed to learn to control her chakra, to be sure it never happened again. Sure, her mother had told her before her death that it would be best for Tsu to become a ninja. But it wasn’t just about surviving in the Village any more.

Sinking onto the floor next to her mother’s loom, Tsu stared up at the ceiling and considered what would come next for her.

The entrance exam for the Academy was an eye-opener for Tsubame. She’d known when she submitted her application paperwork that the point of the Academy was to create ninja, a fighting force for the village. She just hadn’t realized she was expected to already know the basics. The proctors of the entrance exam had asked her for demonstrations of ninjutsu and taijutsu; she knew what both of the words meant, but it wasn’t as if her mother had taught her how to do any of it. She hadn’t spent enough time with the Hatake family to know anything significant.

Tsu’s mother had been a noblewoman, living a fairly sheltered life in a mansion somewhere on the border of the Land of Fire. She could arrange flowers with the best of them, knew how to dress properly for any event anyone could think of. Tsu could make art on a loom, and cook most meals without issue. But that wasn’t the kind of work a ninja actually did.

She was going to be behind all of her classmates, and that would draw attention to her. That was the last thing Tsu wanted to happen. She was becoming a ninja to survive, not to be the center of attention. Leaving the village had barely been a possibility when her mother was alive; now it wasn't. Sakumo had been kind to help her find somewhere inexpensive to live, but she had no intention of leeching off the good man for the rest of her life. Besides, she’d noticed a trend with the children her mother watched.

They were almost all missing at least one parent. And, on two separate occasions, children with two parents in the morning had had only one by nightfall. The life of a ninja was dangerous, and Sakumo Hatake was routinely sent on high-ranking, dangerous missions. Even if she was willing to live out of his pocket for the rest of her life, she couldn’t guarantee that he would be there forever.

She needed to become self-sufficient, and quickly. The loom might have been a possibility, with a tiny apartment or even paying rent as a tenant in Sakumo’s home. But one of the many scattered memories she’d received from her mother included that conversation with the Third Hokage. He had more or less told Tsuru that she and her daughter would be forced from the village if Tsubame didn’t take up training as a ninja. Tsu had to assume that threat still applied with her mother dead. She didn’t have a choice, really.

“I’m going to be a ninja, Momma,” Tsu said quietly, talking to a memory of her mother’s face. “Not like Father, though. I promise I won’t be anything like Father.”

Tsu rolled on her side, staring for a long moment at the loom Sakumo had placed against one wall of her living room. It sat silent, unused since her mother’s death. It didn’t even have weft on it, completely unprepared for use. It felt like a waste, sitting here gathering dust. Surely he’d brought it to her new home in hopes of hearing it in use.

But if she worked as a ninja, she would have precious little time to weave. Even if she started weaving right this moment, it would be weeks or even months before the cloth was complete and ready for sale. Would it even be worth the work?

Sakumo and Kakashi approached, returning from a trip to buy food for a celebratory dinner. Sakumo was incredibly proud of his son, a sensation that made Tsu smile. But underneath the pride was the whisper of grief that he always seemed to carry with him. Thinking of Sakumo, one of her mother’s memories flashed behind Tsu’s eyes.

It was Sakumo, sitting on the floor next to his sleeping son in Tsuru’s living room, eyes closed and contentment written all over his face. Tsuru sat at the loom, working with a steady rhythm and watching Sakumo’s chest rise and fall in sync with its music.

Tsu hadn’t processed all of her mother’s memories yet, some of them creeping in when she least expected it. Usually, the memories made her sad or occasionally angry. This one, however, made her smile.

When Sakumo opened Tsubame’s apartment door, he found Tsubame halfway under the floor loom, working with undyed strings as she set the weft for a new project. Kakashi, bag of groceries in his hand, frowned at his new classmate.

“You can’t be a weaver and a ninja at the same time,” Kakashi commented.

“I can try,” Tsubame replied.

Finally, only two seats remained open; one on the front row, and the other near the back. Tsu chose the seat at the back of class, not wanting to be the one the instructor called on during lessons. The girl she sat next to had the telltale lavender eyes of a Hyuga, and a scowl.

“You can’t sit here,” the girl snapped as Tsu put a hand on the back of the empty chair. She turned back toward the other empty seat just in time to see a boy with black hair and goggles sit down in it. She turned back to the Hyuga girl and opened her mouth to speak.

The instructor walked in, instead. Tsu sat down before he noticed she was the only one still standing, shrugging a silent apology to the furious Hyuga girl.

Already, the crowd of excited students was giving Tsu a headache. Emotions seemed to tangle all around her; anger from her Hyuga neighbor, excitement from many students about the school year starting. Several students were filled with anxiety, and a few buzzed with childhood crushes.

Closing her eyes, Tsu took several deep breaths as she imagined a glass wall being erected all around her. It didn’t work completely, only muffling the emotions of the others, but at least now she could focus on what the instructor was saying.

He’d called a student to the front of the room, having them perform a clone jutsu. Presumably, the idea was to gauge the abilities of everyone in the class, so the instructor would know where to focus. Having the students perform in front of everyone seemed somewhat cruel, however.

The cruelty was emphasized when Guy Might was called to the front for his performance; he managed to summon only his clothes, which fell pathetically to the floor to a round of laughter from everyone in class. What only served to make Guy’s embarrassment worse was that the next one to be called was Kakashi, who produced half a dozen clones without even getting out of his chair. The wiggle of pride in him when the class erupted in awe made Tsu wrinkle her nose.

One of her pencils was almost too short to use; she flicked it at Kakashi now, earning a jump of surprise and a glare from the boy. His clones disappeared as he scowled, rubbing the side of his head where he’d been hit. Smirking, Tsu stuck her tongue out at him.

“Atae,” the instructor said, voice cold. A murmur of recognition went through the students, the two girls sitting directly in front of Tsu stiffening with shock. Anger came from the instructor at the front of the classroom and Tsu stared with some confusion. She hadn’t actually hurt Kakashi, so she didn’t see where the instructor’s anger might be coming from. When he crossed his arms, Tsu stood and bowed, unsure of what else to do.

“Since you feel you can tease the class prodigy, why don’t you demonstrate your clone jutsu next, boy?” He jerked his head to the side, ordering her to stand where Guy had stood.

Tsubame Atae was a girl. At least, that’s what her mother had told her. But now that she’d seen her mother’s memories, she wasn’t quite so sure of that fact.

When she was about seventeen, Tsuru had been told by a boy she liked that she had so few feminine features he couldn’t even consider her a girl. Flat-chested, plain face, and much too muscular to be considered pretty.

This had resulted in a storm of fear and desperation that caused Tsuru to make several permanent changes to her lifestyle; she began wearing makeup and much more colorful kimonos, and against her own mother’s recommendations stopped training with her naginata. A late growth spurt fixed the flat-chested problem, mostly, though occasionally she put extra cloth in the front of her kimono to fill it out.

In the end, she had become a beauty, her father warding off one marriage proposal after another until the day she caught the eye of a handsome visiting tailor named Nobuyuki.

Instinct moved Tsubame’s hand up to catch the stub of a pencil Kakashi had flicked at her head. She looked down at the pencil, still thinking.

That sense of dread, a pain in her chest that a single accusation of looking like a boy had given Tsuru did not strike Tsubame now, as the instructor once again called her a ‘boy’ and ordered her to the front of the room.

How many of Mother’s other memories, since that day Nobuyuki had taken an interest, included thoughts that her pain would never have come to pass if not for the fact she was a girl. If only Tsuru had been born a boy, she’d thought, had accepted the insult as guidance and begun to dress and act more like a boy. If only Nobuyuki had never looked twice at Tsuru, she never would have disgraced herself by chasing a tailor to Konohagakure, to be trapped in his home to produce children for him.

Tsu looked up from the pencil to the instructor. If it didn’t make his heart hurt to be called a boy, then he would be a boy. One more boy in a classroom that was mostly boys anyway, fading into the background, away from the eyes of people like Nobuyuki Atae.

“Are you deaf, boy?” The instructor snapped. The word ‘boy’ was probably meant as an insult; he had a roster in front of him, surely, with a gender marker on it somewhere.

“No, sir,” Tsu answered politely. The name Tsubame could be used for boys as well as girls. At least he wouldn’t have to figure out how to tell everyone he had a different name than the one on the class roster. “I was just distracted. Sorry.”

“Get down here,” the instructor snapped, pointing at the floor next to him. Obediently, Tsubame stepped out from behind his desk and presented himself to the front of the classroom.

He’d been reading about and practicing the standard clone jutsu since the Academy entrance exam, when one of the proctors had suggested it for his jutsu demonstration. He had succeeded exactly once, with a major flaw; the clone didn’t have eyes.

So, this time, as he slowly moved his hands through the signs necessary for the jutsu, he imagined himself with his eyes closed. Sure, he’d be in trouble if the instructor asked the clone to move, but he hadn’t done that yet.

The clone was solid-looking enough. It had clothes, hair that matched Tsu’s, and closed eyes. The only real issue was that it had Tsu’s clothes from the night before on, instead of the yukata and hakama combination he wore today.

The instructor frowned at it, scribbled something in his notebook, and made a shooing motion at Tsu. When he met the man’s eyes, the instructor flinched. With a shrug, he returned to his seat.

The next test, predictably, was taijutsu. Their matches were one at a time so that, once again, everyone in class could see the skill level of the others. Tsu watched closely, hoping to pick up some moves he could practice later that day. Unfortunately, it was hard to determine whether someone had good form or not since he had little frame of reference for someone with actual skill. He didn’t know much about combat, but he knew from his mother’s memories of naginata practice that good form was vital. A grizzly voice from his mother’s memories said over and over “speed comes from good form, not quick movements.”

The only fight he knew would have good skill he might be able to copy was Kakashi’s fight. He’d been paired with Guy, and the two didn’t appear to be holding back. Unfortunately, they moved too fast for him to fully process. Tsu saw some good footwork he thought he might be able to copy, but that was about it.

Then it was time for his fight. He’d been paired with a boy named Asuma Sarutobi, who was once again filled with an anger whose source he couldn’t figure out. Asuma glared at him from his side of the ring as if he’d committed some crime and Asuma was there to deliver punishment. Confused, he tilted his head to one side and opened his mouth to ask. Asuma spoke before he could, though.

“Your father tried to kill my father,” he said coldly. Tsu fiddled with a loose thread on one of his sleeves, thinking. The name Sarutobi was familiar-

“Your father is the Hokage?” he asked, startled. He wasn’t even aware that Third Hokage had children, let alone that one of them was in his class. Asuma nodded, taking a fighting stance.

“Enough chatter,” the instructor said. His flat voice didn’t match the excitement bubbling in his chest. Tsu looked at him, confused again. Asuma’s anger was justified, mostly; though he had only been two when his father attacked the Hokage, he knew most of the village thought of Noboyuki when they looked at Tsu. But he didn’t know the instructor at all.

Ah, he thought as Asuma approached, fists raised. The instructor was probably part of that fight, too.

Tsu did manage to dodge the first two punches Asuma threw, but the second turned out to be a feint; he went for the legs instead, knocking them out from under him with a neat sweep. Thudding onto his back, Tsu winced; the air had been knocked out of him. Asuma knelt over him then, fist raised as if to punch him in the face.

Nobuyuki’s face replaced Asuma’s, rage rolling off in icy waves. Blood dripped from his forehead onto her cheek as he raised a fist to strike her for cutting him-

Tsuru panicked, pulling a knee up and into his crotch and following immediately with a roll to one side. Pushing herself off of Noboyuki, she stumbled backward two, three steps, and came to a stop, gasping. She wiped away the blood on her cheek - and her hand came away clean; black gloves instead of pale skin.

Tsuru looked up, and the man on the ground before her wasn’t a man, it was a boy; Asuma Sarutobi, a student from class. She wasn’t Tsuru Atae, defending herself against her husband; he was Tsubame Atae, training in a practice yard to become a ninja. Struggling to get his breathing under control, Tsu looked away from Asuma and told his mother’s memories to go back to their own little corner of his mind.

Unfortunately, the instructor hadn’t called off the match; Tsu was brought violently back to reality with a punch to one cheek that sent him staggering to the side. He barely kept himself from hitting the ground - he refused to be pinned like that again, in case his mother’s memories took over - and brought his arms up in defense.

Asuma’s rage was replaced with shock, and then - to Tsu’s great confusion - guilt. He stopped attacking and Tsu looked at him from behind his crossed arms, expecting another feint. Instead, he bowed and offered his hand for the little ceremonial handshake the instructor had told them about.

Taking another deep breath, Tsu returned his bow and took his hand. They both returned to the crowd of students, Asuma with something of a limp and Tsu rubbing at a very sore right cheek bone.

By the end of class, the right side of Tsu’s face was swollen and he was nearly certain that the instructor had been involved in his father’s attempted rebellion. He had a feeling it was going to be a very painful time in class with an instructor that hated him as much as this one seemed to.

“You should read a book about taijutsu next,” Kakashi recommended as the other students began to file out of the classroom. “That was painful to watch, you know.”

“I don’t mind bruises,” he said, immediately regretting speaking as his cheek sent a burst of pain that radiated all the way to the back of his head. Kakashi rolled his eyes and left with a wave over his shoulder.

“Excuse me,” Asuma was behind him, once again feeling guilty. Tsu stepped to the side to get out of the way of the door, looking at the other boy curiously. His eyes wandered to Tsu’s swollen cheek, and another flare of guilt went through him before he jerked his eyes away, blushing slightly. He seemed to be building up the nerve to speak.

“We were sparring,” Tsu said, realizing he felt bad for punching so hard. “Bruises are part of sparring, right? You saw an opening and took it; you have nothing to feel guilty for.”

Asuma stared at him for a long moment, a complicated series of emotions flickering through him just barely faster than Tsu could read them. Finally, he settled on relief and nodded, stepping out of the classroom door.

Now he and Guy were the only ones left in class; Guy sat at his desk, glaring at his hands as if they’d done something wrong. Tsu considered his options, and then shrugged to himself and approached the boy. His mother had watched Guy at least as often as she’d watched Kakashi; the boy recognized Tsu as he approached.

“I don’t know much about ninjutsu yet,” Tsu said, standing in front of his desk. Guy looked up, eyes red and watery as if he’d been crying. “But we could study it together, if you want.”

“Why would you want to study with me?” He asked, looking away. “I don’t have any chakra, so I can’t learn ninjutsu.”

“Everyone has chakra,” Tsu said, frowning. “You just don’t have very much. I read in a book that there are some ways to make yourself get more chakra. I’ll bring the book to class tomorrow and you can read it. Maybe it’ll help you.”

When Guy, still refusing to look at him, didn’t answer, Tsu sighed and walked away. He got to the doorway before the other boy spoke.

“I could teach you some taijutsu,” he mumbled, and when he turned to look at him his face was bright red. Tsu smiled.

“When do we start?”

Guy Might, age 6

Guy brought his father with him to visit Tsu the next morning. He’d walked home with his new friend to learn where he lived, and they’d decided to start their days with ninjutsu and end them with taijutsu. Tsu’s reasoning was that ninjutsu - at least at first - wouldn’t make the two of them sweat too much. Guy didn’t mind smelling like sweat, but it seemed Tsu did; the other boy didn’t want to spend all day in class smelling like his morning workout.

Guy knocked on Tsu’s apartment door quietly, aware that the rest of the building was probably still asleep. There was a slight pause before the door opened, and Tsu bowed politely. He was already dressed in his blue and green wide-sleeved yukata and loose black hakama, short hair damp from a morning wash. As Tsu invited Guy and his father inside, the boy looked somewhat distracted, his eyes more green than usual.

“You’re earlier than I expected,” Tsu said, turning toward a large floor loom taking up one side of the apartment’s main room. “I was just finishing setting the loom for a new project. Please make yourselves comfortable; I’m almost done.”

Tsu knelt next to the loom as Guy and his Father removed their shoes and made their way to the dining table. As Guy’s father set the breakfast they’d brought with them on the table, Guy looked around his new friend’s apartment. The wall opposite of the loom had a weapon rack on it, holding a single massive naginata. Curious whether it was only decoration, Guy approached the pole arm and reached out to touch it.

“Don’t cut yourself,” Tsu said. Guy turned to look at the other boy; Tsu continued to work on his loom, looking to Guy’s untrained eye to be tangled in a mass of little colorful strings. “It’s a real naginata, and it’s very sharp.”

“What are you doing?” Guy asked, turning now to kneel on the floor next to Tsu. The other boy continued to work, not looking up. Duy stood nearby as well, looking almost as interested as his son.

“These are called heddles,” Tsu said, gesturing to the thin strips of metal with holes in them. Guy watched as Tsu used a tiny hook to pull a string from one side of a heddle to the other. “They lift these threads in a certain pattern so that I can pull a thread through the long way and make cloth.”

“It’s very complicated,” Guy noted.

“This part is tedious,” Tsu said. “But I’m almost done now.”

“We brought breakfast,” Duy said.

“I noticed,” Tsu said. “Thank you, Sir. I just have four more to string. The rest can wait until later.”

“Why are you weaving if you’re attending the Academy?” Guy asked, picking up a roll of thread that was sitting nearby to inspect it.

“I need some kind of income between now and when I become a fully-fledged ninja,” Tsu said. “I’ll sell this cloth to Jun Uchiha, a tailor in the village, once it’s done. He requested a special color combination, so it’ll be worth a little more than usual.”

They discussed plans for training over breakfast, Tsu still seeming a little bit distracted. He wanted to start right away with ninjutsu, explaining that the book he’d read told him the simple act of using ninjutsu could increase a person’s chakra pool.

Guy was hesitant. He would willingly cast the same jutsu over and over if it meant he could get more chakra; however, he couldn’t cast a single jutsu. If step one was to cast a jutsu, he was already failing.

“Easy,” Tsu said with a smile. “We’ll cast the jutsu together.”

“Easy?” Duy said, startled. “Joint jutsus are only accomplished by highly skilled ninja, and even then it isn’t a common occurrence.”

“I read about it,” Tsu said, pointing at a pile of books on the floor under the naginata stand. “It takes perfect timing, and an understanding of the other person’s chakra. But I think I have an advantage there - I can sense a person’s chakra, and their intentions. Guy can cast his chakra at whatever speed feels most natural, and I can match myself to his speed. It may take a few tries, but I think we can pull it off.”

“And that will still let me build more chakra?” Guy asked.

“It should,” Tsu said. “You would be using your chakra, and then when the chakra comes back you’ll have a little bit more, just like building muscles. If we do it often enough, and with enough different kinds of jutsus, we’ll both get a bunch more chakra stored up in ourselves.”

“When do we start?” Guy asked, leaning forward excitedly. Tsu smiled; Duy laughed.

It took six attempts before anything happened. Guy’s father had to leave after the third. Tsu and Guy stood side-by-side, hands tangled together as Tsu formed one half of each hand sign and Guy made the other. Tsu wore gloves, a wrinkle between his brows as he concentrated on each movement and his chakra throughout the process.

The sensation of Tsu’s chakra mixing with Guy’s was a strange one. Guy recognized his own chakra as a distant, flickering warmth; in contrast, Tsu’s chakra felt cold and jittery, sending goosebumps up his arms as they worked. It was hard to focus, between the closeness of Tsu and the strange sense of Tsu’s chakra.

But, just as they were considering quitting for the day to avoid being late to class, a clone appeared in front of them. To Guy’s relief, it was fully formed; the clone had skin, a face, even hair.

What made both Guy and Tsu fall into each other laughing, however, was the clone’s appearance. It seemed that each of them had focused on the others’ appearance, meaning that the clone they’d created was an odd amalgamation of both of them.

It had Tsu’s unnerving silver eyes but Guy’s thick black eyebrows; Guy’s nose over Tsu’s mouth. It wore Tsu’s green and blue outfit but with Guy’s bright red belt and gangly limbs. The hair was cut like Tsu’s, just above the shoulder with bangs long enough to get in his eyes, but it was thicker than Tsu’s, curling out at the ends like Guy’s had done before his haircut.

“It’s beautiful,” Tsu said, giggling.

“It’s awful,” Guy said, laughing. “We need to show it to everyone.”

“We do,” Tsu agreed. “But, for now, we need to get to class.”

[pookieprotectionservice]

So I was thinking about the first thing I manifested. I was 17 in my second year of a levels. I had just applied for different universities and was waiting to hear back from them.

I remember wanting to get into Oxford so badly! It was all I could think about and all I was working towards. But what I remember most clearly is walking with my mam and her asking me about what I would do if I was rejected by Oxford, and without hesitation I turned to my mam and said, “I don’t care I’m going to LMH” (lmh is the Oxford college I applied to). And I believed it.

Obviously with Oxford being incredibly hard to get into I doubted myself so often but I always believed I would get in. I always knew that was the university I was going to go to. Because I couldn’t see myself going anywhere else.

That affirmation/assumption was so powerful that I even remember it now, 3 years on and roughly 3 months before I graduate from LMH, Oxford.

I remember daydreaming about what my daily life would look like here, and would write scenarios about it. And while they are not accurate of what my actual life was like here at Oxford, they helped me enter a state of knowing that I had Oxford already - this is called living in the end

And you know what the kicker was, my 3D was showing me that I wouldn’t make it:

🎀 i didn’t get a single 9 at gcse (only eight 8s, two 7s and one 5). Oxford is know for looking largely at the gcse results of applicants, and they were not stellar

🎀 I was constantly getting a C in my maths and further maths a levels and thought I would never make the A* to get into Oxford

🎀 I failed my first year (y12) mock in December before getting only a B in my physics exam at the end of y12 (June)

🎀 the Oxbridge advisor at my sixth form told me I would never make it to Oxford (jokes on him, I’m here now and on track for getting a first in my degree)

See, I had all these set backs presenting themselves in my 3D but I persisted in my belief that Oxford was waiting for me at the other side.

I’m now applying all these techniques in my current manifestations:

🫧 believing my assumptions even when the situation seems impossible

🫧 affirming when I doubt myself

🫧 visualising

🫧 scripting

How I’m applying these points to manifesting my SP now:

💖 my situation seems impossible: we dated for 4 months and then broke up (on good terms). He has also blocked me on Facebook (he did this 3 months after we ended things), unfollowed me on ig and has deleted my number. See this seems like an impossible situation. But every morning I affirm that “I know that SP is my boyfriend”

💖 whenever I doubt myself or look to the 3D for confirmation I remind myself that the 3D is actively changing to accommodate my affirmation, even if I don’t see it. I remind myself of my uni story and how my 3D never showed me signs that I was going to get to Oxford, so why would it show me signs of my SP coming to me. I believe that one day the 3D will show my assumption.

💖 admittedly I now find visualisation really hard. But because I’ve had a past with my SP I use the feelings I felt with them and apply them to new scenarios. I don’t rely on the old story, but I acknowledge that it happened. The visualisations I do have of him are random, and I don’t force myself to visualise if I can’t. This doesn’t mean that your assumptions are wrong, as I often thought in the past, or that it’s not working. Some people just struggle to visualise and can’t turn it on like a switch.

💖 with scripting I now just write scenarios down if I feel like it. This is often when I can’t visualise or I’m not in the environment to let my mind wonder. I usually script what it would feel like to be with my SP. It’s a little more difficult because with manifesting uni there is a timeframe, so maybe setting one for myself would help me, but just scripting as if I have it already in the future is a massive help

Just as I don’t deny that SP and I are not currently together, I don’t deny the truth that we will be back together soon.

I hope this helps someone :)

[karanfartiyal]

BSC Full Form

The Bachelor of Science (BSc) is a three-year undergraduate program designed for students who have completed their 10+2 education with a focus on science subjects. This degree offers a wide array of specializations, including Medical/Life Sciences, Chemistry, Physics, Botany, Zoology, Biotechnology, Microbiology, Biochemistry, Computer Science, Environmental Science, Food Technology, Electronic Science, Forensic Science, Biomedical Science, Physical Science, Operational Research, Statistics, and Anthropology.

The curriculum is structured to balance theoretical knowledge with practical application, fostering critical thinking, technical proficiency, and research skills among students. Admission to BSc programs typically involves merit-based selection or entrance examinations such as CUET, CUCET, NPAT, TS EAMCET, SET, BHU UET, and KCET. Prominent institutions offering BSc degrees in India include St. Stephen's College (New Delhi), Hansraj College (New Delhi), Hindu College (New Delhi), Presidency College (Chennai), Parul University (Vadodara), and Fergusson College (Pune).

The annual fees for a BSc program range from INR 20,000 to INR 2,00,000, varying by institution and specialization. Graduates with a BSc degree have diverse career opportunities in sectors such as information technology, education, healthcare, pharmaceuticals, and agriculture. Common roles include private tutor, nurse, food safety officer, lab technician, software tester, IT developer, agriculture specialist, and microbiologist. The average salary for BSc graduates ranges between INR 3 to 5 lakh per annum, depending on the chosen field and experience.

Specializations within BSc

One of the most compelling aspects of a BSc degree is the plethora of specializations available. Students can tailor their education based on their interests and career aspirations. Some prominent BSc specializations include:

Physics: Exploring the fundamental principles governing matter and energy.

Chemistry: Delving into the composition, properties, and reactions of substances.

Biology: Studying living organisms, their functions, and their interactions.

Computer Science: Focusing on computational systems, programming, and software development.

Environmental Science: Examining the environment and solutions to environmental challenges.

Biotechnology: Merging biology and technology to develop innovative products and solutions.

Microbiology: Investigating microscopic organisms and their roles in various environments.

Mathematics: Concentrating on abstract concepts, numbers, and quantitative analysis.

Each specialization is crafted to provide in-depth knowledge and hands-on experience, preparing students for diverse professional pathways.

Eligibility Criteria

Admission into a BSc program typically requires candidates to have completed their higher secondary education (10+2) with a strong foundation in science subjects. While specific requirements can vary based on the institution and country, a minimum aggregate score in subjects like Physics, Chemistry, Biology, and/or Mathematics is commonly expected. Some universities also conduct entrance examinations to assess the aptitude and proficiency of prospective students.

Admission Process

The pathway to securing a seat in a BSc program generally involves:

Application Submission: Filling out application forms of desired universities or colleges, either online or offline.

Entrance Examination: Appearing for standardized tests if required by the institution.

Merit List Announcement: Institutions release lists based on entrance exam scores and/or academic performance.

Counseling Sessions: Some colleges conduct counseling to guide students in selecting appropriate specializations.

Final Enrollment: Completing necessary documentation and fee submission to confirm admission.

It's imperative for aspirants to stay updated with the specific admission timelines and criteria of each institution to ensure a smooth application process.

Course Structure and Curriculum

The BSc curriculum is thoughtfully designed to balance theoretical understanding with practical application. While the exact structure can vary based on the chosen specialization and institution, a typical BSc program encompasses:

Core Subjects: Fundamental courses central to the chosen specialization.

Elective Subjects: Courses that allow students to explore related areas of interest.

Laboratory Work: Hands-on experiments and practical sessions to reinforce theoretical concepts.

Research Projects: Opportunities to undertake independent or guided research, fostering analytical and investigative skills.

Workshops and Seminars: Interactive sessions with experts to stay abreast of the latest advancements in the field.

This comprehensive approach ensures that graduates are not only knowledgeable but also adept at applying their learning in real-world scenarios.

Fee Structure

The financial investment required for a BSc degree can vary widely based on factors such as the institution's prestige, location, chosen specialization, and available facilities. On average, annual tuition fees for BSc programs range from INR 20,000 to INR 2,00,000. It's advisable for students to research and consider additional expenses, including laboratory fees, study materials, and other ancillary costs.

Career Prospects and Opportunities

A BSc degree opens a multitude of career avenues across various sectors. Graduates are equipped with skills and knowledge that make them valuable assets in industries such as:

Information Technology: Roles like software developers, data analysts, and system administrators.

Healthcare: Positions such as lab technicians, clinical researchers, and healthcare consultants.

Research and Development: Opportunities as research scientists, project assistants, and technical analysts.

Education: Careers as educators, academic counselors, and curriculum developers.

Environmental Management: Roles like environmental analysts, conservationists, and sustainability consultants.

Biotechnology and Pharmaceuticals: Positions in quality control, clinical trials, and product development.

The versatility of a BSc degree ensures that graduates can adapt to various roles and industries, making it a prudent choice for those passionate about science and its applications.

Top Institutions Offering BSc Programs

Several esteemed institutions worldwide offer BSc programs renowned for their academic excellence and research opportunities. Some of these include:

Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT), USA: Celebrated for its cutting-edge research and innovation in science and technology.

University of Cambridge, UK: Offers a rich tradition of scientific inquiry and discovery.

[babyseraphim]

Well. I found another school I wanted to apply for, looked at one of the music theory entrance exam study guides, and promptly had a little freak out about it. I haven't even thought about most of this stuff since I was a college freshman, and my memory is absolutely fucking awful, so I can barely remember my theory classes from senior year, much less freshman.

Plus they test on post tonal analysis, which, like. I enjoyed my undergrad classes on post-tonal theory, but I have never practically used polyphonic or set theory in my teaching. I mean, I'm not great at figured bass and identifying modes either (though I am better than I used to be), but at least its applicable. I want teach music to kids, why do I have to know how to label pitch class sets by prime form BEFORE I EVEN JOIN THE PROGRAM. I know I can do it, I aced the class for it back in undergrad, but that was 5 years ago ughhhhhh

I know, I know, it's grad school. This is all basics, if you want to get a masters and write a thesis and shit. I just have so much studying to do, alongside all the other shit I have to do for the GREs and auditions and personal statement writing

[not-so-bored]

May has the potential to be the most intense month of my life so far!

But the next months will sure beat it!

My name is M. I use he/him pronouns. I am a half-time retail employee, full-time chaos, and a European. My goal is to study at a university in the Netherlands starting in September 2024, and I am doing everything necessary to achieve that. I am determined because if I fail, I will have to stay in my home country, which is something I’d rather avoid.

I love cats, Philosophy, Computer Science and silly little emojis. This sideblog takes the form of a progress log. Its purpose is to hold myself accountable. I don’t usually post photos. 

Nice to meet y’all! 

Semi-schedule, plans and goals 

Week 1 (1 May - 5 May): 📌 Take care of myself. ✔️ . 🥗 Eat regularly. ✔️ . ⏰ Sleep more than 8 hours per night. ✔️ . 🧠 Meditate for at least 10 minutes. ✔️ 🗒 Study. ✔️ 🏬 Work shifts: 2. ✔️✔️

Week 2 (7 May - 12 May): 📌 Take care of myself. ⭕️ . 🥗 Eat regularly. ⭕️ . ⏰ Sleep more than 8 hours per night. ❌ . 🧠 Meditate for at least 10 minutes. ✔️ 🧸 Relax. ⭕️ 🗒 Revise. ⭕️ 📝 Exams: 3. ✔️✔️✔️ 🏬 Work shifts: 2. ✔️✔️ 👔 Discuss my contract extension with my boss. ✔️ 👥 Hang out with people. ✔️ 📃 Prepare my scholarship application. ⭕️ 📃 Write a report on Computer Science Classes. ✔️ 📱 Wabi-Sabi Studyblr Challenge by ddaengstudies 🍵

Week 3 (13 May - 19 May): 📌 Take care of myself. ⭕️ . 🥗 Eat regularly. ✔️ . ⏰ Sleep more than 8 hours per night. ⭕️ . 🧠 Meditate for at least 10 minutes. ❌ 🗒 Study. ⭕ 📝 Exams: 3. ✔️✔️✔️ 🏬 Work shifts: 3. ✔️✔️✔️ 👔 Discuss my contract extension with my boss. ✔️ 👔 Send 50 job applications. ✔️ 🎟 Help with organization of an event. ✔️ 👥 Hang out with people. ⭕️ 📱 Post my April Achievements on Tumblr. ✔️ 📃 Apply for a scholarship. ❌ 🎟 Participate in an online event organized by the university. ✔️ 🍜 Try ramen. ✔️

Week 4 (20 May - 26 May): 📌 Take care of myself. ⭕️ . 🥗 Eat regularly. ✔️ . ⏰ Sleep more than 8 hours per night. ⭕️ . 🧠 Meditate for at least 10 minutes. ❌ 🧸 Relax. ⭕️ 📝 Exams: 2. ✔️✔️ 🏬 "Volunteer" for paid overtime. ✔️ 🏬 Work shifts: 3. ✔️✔️✔️ 👔 Send 50 job applications. ⭕️ 👔 Update my English CV. ❌ 👔 Create my Dutch CV. ✔️ 📃 Apply for a scholarship. ✔️ 👥 Hang out with people. ⭕️ ✍️ Edit my WiP. ❌ 📘 Learn Logic. ❌ 🇳🇱 Learn Dutch. ⭕️ 🪡 Finally finish my embroidery project. ✔️ 🚲 Go cycling. ❌

Week 5 (27 May - 31 May): 📌 Take care of myself. . 🥗 Eat regularly. ✔️ . ⏰ Sleep more than 8 hours per night. ❌ . 🧠 Meditate for at least 10 minutes. ❌ 🧸 Rest. ⭕️ 🏬 "Volunteer" for paid overtime. ✔️ 🏬 Work shifts: 3. ✔️✔️✔️ 🫡 Thank my coworkers. ✔️ 👔 Send 10 job applications. ⭕️ 👔 Attend a job interview. ✔️ 👔 Make a decision. ⭕️ 👔 Polish (haha) my Dutch CV. ⭕️ 🖨 Print my Dutch CV. ✔️ 👥 Hang out with people. ✔️ 🇳🇱 Learn Dutch. ⭕️ 🚲 Go cycling. ❌ 📋 Set goals for June. ⭕️ 🎒 Pack for a trip. ✔️ 🔜 Go on the trip, explore and meet new people. ✔️✔️✔️

[helloshivani01]

Educational Experience at SMS VARANAS

School Of Management (SMS) NAAC+ graded is the oldest learning institution in Varanasi, but it has made itself remarkable by its extra ordinary approach to education that attracts both New Age B-School as well as traditional academic house.

Here's an in-depth look at the various aspects that make SMS Varanasi a premier institution.

Academics

SMS Varanasi offers undergraduate as well as PG courses in management, commerce, and computer application along with other applied areas. The courses offered by this institute are so structured that they implants both theoretical concepts and practice implementation, thereby leaving an overall deep understanding of the subject to a student, whereas the syllabus for a specific paper in each discipline keeps getting updated as per the current industry demands so that one learns accordingly and on time. Research and innovation climate is favored, and students are also motivated to contribute their piece to academic through projects and Discussion work.

Faculty

One of the strong strengths of SMS Varanasi is its Faculty and Staff. Professors with a strong compilation of both academic knowledge and industry experience enable this campus to provide perfect theoretical & practical learning to students. Faculty members are approachable, decent and encourage an enquiry session while mentoring students in academics, research, and career development

Infrastructure

SMS Varanasi is well set with world-class infrastructure shining on its campus and is rated among the Top-20 B- School in India . The college has modern classrooms and advanced computer labs with access to digital resources and a well-stocked library. Auditoriums and seminar halls within the campus are available for guest lectures and conferences, thus encouraging an ambience of learning and cooperation. SMS School of Management has maintained its standard and has earned 45th rank in the latest B-School survey conducted in India.

Pattern of Exams

The evaluation pattern of the SMS Varanasi is designed to test the student's theoretical knowledge and practical exposure. The institution, along with the end term examinations, continuously evaluates the student's performance by conducting various assignments, case studies, presentations, survey reports and class participation. Thus, evaluating the performance of a student throughout a semester.

Extra-Curricular Activities

SMS Varanasi is aware of the fact that every student needs overall development. In these directions, the college gives scope through extracurricular activities in the form of Sports Fests, Cultural Clubs and Student clubs. Annual fests(ADHARSHILA) and inter-college competitions enhance the students' talent to get a wide exposure into the different fields .