#sex and the constitution

[badolmen]

Saw a post making fun of Asexuals in the year of our Good Vibes 2022 so a reminder:

The A stands for the Asexual community and spectrum (it also represents the Aromantic and Agender communities but I’m Asexual so I’ll be talking about that specifically in this post)

Celibacy is a choice to abstain from sex. Asexuality is a sexuality defined by a lack of sexual attraction to anyone, not by the choice to abstain from sex.

Every asexual person has different feelings on sex (an activity, not an attraction) - some are sex repulsed, some are sex neutral, and some are sex favorable. A physically pleasurable experience is not equal to an attraction to parties involved.

The Asexual community has been around since the dawn of the Queer liberation movement, and Asexual individuals have always existed.

Aphobia is real and has done tangible harm to Asexual people. Listen to and learn from their experiences.

If you make fun of Asexuals and their community jokes (dragons/cakes/cards) you are Aphobic. If you’re Asexual and you make fun of these aspects of your own community or consider them ‘cringe’ you have internalized Aphobia.

Sometimes teenagers and young people will identify as Asexual and change their label later in life. This does not mean that all young people who identify as Asexual will change their minds, nor does it mean that all people who identify as Asexual are young.

Seriously what do you people have against the dragons and cake jokes those are classic and hilarious please deconstruct why you have so much rage for harmless jokes that’s not a healthy response to silliness.

Anyways reblog this post if you’re Asexual, support Asexuals, or really want a dragon.

[stupid-sloot-headcanons]

The Japanese high court just declared the ban on same-sex marriage is unconstitutional! This is a major landmark in the long fight in Japan to legalize same-sex marriage. Right now there's only been a court ruling declaring that it's unconstitutional, but that sets a solid precedent to legalize it later on.

[femmesandhoney]

tras trying to claim something is a human rights violation against trans people when it also affects every other citizen is so funny like...yeah we know you're human too but how is that specifically about trans people come on now 😭

[neongreenllama]

So I was looking for something I could swear I wrote about Sirius giving Harry a very thorough sex talk but I'm afraid it's lost forever somewhere in my messy notes but! I did find this. Close enough, and I think it's funny, so

a secret, third thing

Words: 1.567 Rating: Teen

Harry finished drawing the last line before setting down his quill.

They looked at his artwork in silence for a moment. It consisted of only a few lines and circles and looked sort of crooked.

“Are you sure that’s correct?” Sirius asked skeptically. He couldn’t make out how this was supposed to function in real life.

Harry shrugged. “That’s what I saw the seventh years draw.”

“What's this?” He pointed at a shape of two lines that were sort of going around the rest and coming together at the top.

“I've no idea.”

“Well, maybe that's it, then."

“Really?” Harry responded doubtfully. “But if it's so big why do they always say men can't find it?

“Maybe everyone thinks it's really hard to find and they neglect the obvious bits,” he reasoned, in his opinion quite soundly.

Harry scoffed, as if his godfather was being thick in the head on purpose. “That can't be it.”

[sudaca-swag]

not ppl saying that parents having sex in the same house (not room, HOUSE) as their kids is abuse, are you all only children? are you all so naive as to think mommy and daddy were celibate from the moment you were born until you left their house ajwkfienv

[propalahramota]

GUYS! GUYS!!! UKRAINIAN GOVERNMENT OFFICIALLY STARTS WORKING ON LEGALIZING SAME-SEX CIVIL PARTNERSHIPS!!!

[lhrry]

anyway i just want to remind you all that the first shows in the UK were tragic in regard to atmosphere and homophobia and people feeling so unsafe they didn’t dare hold up their pride flags, they were even getting hostile looks for having rainbow sweatshirts and stuff, it’s not that the UK and European shows were rainbow from the beginning, not at all. We had to start a conversation around it, one that harry was aware of, i started an entire initiative to change that because i could not accept harry’s shows did not have rainbows and didn’t feel safe and i thought i was setting myself up for failure but people wanted to make this happen as well, they started doing local projects because we just didn’t want to accept that and it was breaking our hearts that harry’s shows were unsafe spaces for queer fans, and we managed to change it incredibly quickly because we are still here, we matter and we deserve to feel safe and joyful, and people just needed a nudge and feel it’s a collective effort. so it’s not that it’s an inevitable, unchangeable situation, we worked to make the european shows what they were, the crowd and harry collaborated on that and as harry said every small act of kindness can contribute to a big change.

[pedgecalmdown]

Making A Splash - p.p.

summary: you and your boyfriend, pecker, go to the pool on a hot summer day.. let’s just say things got way hotter than you thought they would be! 😁🙂

word count: 2.2k

warnings: highchair use, tantrums😜, pool sex, public sex, hairy hog on the loose, four toed foot, pecan as a shark, pool filters, messy popsicles, learning to swim like a baby falling in water with hand snapping😌

it’s a sunny summer afternoon, and you’re sitting on your porch with your cute little hubby, plague. He got a little frisky earlier, so you had to put him in his high chair to calm him down. Luckily, it worked, and you’re both eating popsicles in a nice summer breeze while he kicks his messy camo crocs from his high chair. You could see that Pilfer was globbering down on his popsicle, his mouth and fingers getting sticky from the mess. Once he’s done, he starts getting upset and smacks his hands on the surface of his high chair. “babbeee im all dirtyyyy and there’s nothing to clean me uuuppp!!!” He says in a whiny voice. You ponder for a moment, and come up with a solution to this debacle. “How about we go to the pool?”

As you rummage through drawers trying to find piston some trunks to wear, he’s putting on his water socks so he doesn’t hurt his tootsies on the rough surface of the pool. “Are you sure I’m ready? I’m a little bit nervous..” pelaton asks. He had always had a fear of swimming and of big bodies of water, and you had always wanted to get him more used to it so he could overcome his fear. “You got it baby, I know you can do it. Remember when you wouldn’t eat your veggies because you thought they would taste bad but when you ate them you realized you loved them? I’m sure it’ll be a peace of cake, just like those!” You cheerfully replied. You kept searching in the drawer until you found the perfect pair of trunks for thanksgiving to wear to the pool. They were bright orange, and had dinosaurs on them. They looked a little small, but you were sure they would fit.

You left the room for paleontology to change, and once you came back in you were surprised as to what you saw. Your honey buns was leaning against the doorframe with a sly smirk and then gestured to his trunks with his hands. “You like what you see?” He questioned with a cheeky tone. “I love what I see.” You replied, replicating the tone. Powder put on sunglasses and walked over to the mirror and started doing finger guns at himself. “Hey there good lookin, what are you up to today?” He couldn’t stop smiling at himself and you couldn’t hold back your smile at his happiness. You remind him, “Before we get in the pool, we need to put on your swim gear like the big boy you are!” You grabbed a snorkel, arm floats, a donut hip floaty, and flippers, and helped put them on your giddy boyfriend. Once all of plaintiff’s gear was on, he was ecstatic and pulling you to the door by your arm. “Come on! Come on! lets gooo!”

As you walk into the sign-in in front of the pool, you can’t help but take in your pumpkins appearance. He had all his gear, but the donut floaty caught your eye and reminded you of the tantrum he had thrown hours earlier at target.

He stomped his flip flopped feet on the ground as the expression on his face grew angrier by the second. “I WANT THE DONUT FLOATY!! THE PLAIN ONE IS UGLY!!” You stared at purchasing. “Pedge, calm down. The plain blue floaty is cheaper, it’s your favorite color, and they both work the same!” “I DONT CARE. I WANT THE DONUT NOW. NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW!” You looked him in the eyes and you caved in. How could you say no when he looked so good? “Fine. But if you act like this again, I’m making you eat DOUBLE your veggies and no dessert.” You picked up the donut floaty box and headed to the cashier. Peddler’s flip flops flipped and flopped behind you.

The memory made you chuckle. What a little goober porridge was! Your hot shot’s flip flops were clapping against the floor as he was walking to the sign in. You found this quite chucklesome. Pork eagerly wrote his name on the check in sheet and rushed to the pool, tripping over his feet as he struggled to walk in his flip flops. He stopped in his tracks right at the pool ledge and looked back at you with concern. “It’s okay my stud muffin, if you learn to swim like the big boys do then I won’t make you eat any veggies at all!” You reassured. His eyes immediately lit up and he did a heel click in his excitement. He then started rubbing his palms together and put on a sinister smile. “Let’s do this.”

You take off all of his floating gear so that when he falls in he really has to work to float. You can see the nervous look spreading across his face. “Don’t worry poopsock, you’re gonna do so well.” “If you s-s-say so..” You sat plorpus down at the edge of the pool with his feet dangling in the water. He lightly licked them as you slowly walked in right in front of him. “Ok, you got this” you told him. He quirked an eyebrow and nodded once. You started snapping in front of his face. “Here, here, come on, this way.” He slowly leaned forward and made a huge splash as he fell in. He thrashed around in the water, limbs flying everywhere. You stepped back to give him some space, and he floated to the surface, belly up and limbs in the air. The look on his face looked like he was about to cry. “That was so scaryyyyyyyheeeeheee” his sentence turned into a wail. “You did so well, punctuation.” You floated to the top, just like I said! Come on, let’s do that a few more times.” With that, he stopped crying. You supported his weight as he floated to the ladder, and once he got out he practiced falling in a few more times. Each time you practiced, he cried, but once he got on the ladder and sat on the edge again, he totally forgot what was happening and was eager to do whatever you said.

Eventually, he had gotten used to falling in the water and floating up to your snapping hand, and now you decided that he was ready to go into the deep end. “well, here goes nothing!!”, preston yelled as he jumped in. “Here, here, come up.” you directed him as he thrashed around in the water, not quite used to the lack of floats. After a few seconds, he emerged from the water and squealed in excitement. “That. was. AWESOME!!” “That’s my talented hunk!! no veggies for you tonight!!” “yesss!!” he exclaimed as he pumped his fist in the air. You were so proud of him, and you allowed him to play on his own for a bit while you tanned on a chair nearby. After a bit, pussy called your name. “Babe, babe, babeeee!! look!!” You turned your head to look at him. “what is it my dream boat?” He was grinning from ear to ear. “Watch me do a handstand” He immediately dived below the water and you saw his hairy legs and four toed foot aimed towards the sky to fall forward immediately after. His head reappeared on the surface, and he was swallowing water that got caught in his throat. You started clapping for his performance. You were so proud of how far he has come today.

He lifted himself out of the pool and awkwardly fell on his stomach on the pool deck. He ran around the side of the pool until a lifeguard blew a whistle. ‘WOOOOOOOO’ “please do not run on the pool deck.” He shouted. “Ugh, fine.” Pedro’s 4-toed feet speed walked to the diving boards. “Babe, babe babe, babe, y/n look I’m gonna be like a shark! Come look!” He yelled to you. He climbed onto one of the boards as you started walking towards him. You sat yourself on the edge of the pool that was on the left of the diving boards. “Go ahead, pillsbury.” You looked at him with admiration as he jumped and flailed into the water. He bobbed back up and started slowly swimming to you with his hand vertical on his head. He started singing the theme from Jaws. “Duh nuh. Duh nuh. Duh nuh. Duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh!!” He swam faster and faster until he reached your tootsies. He started playfully gnawing on them as you giggled. “Peter, stop!! It tickles!” He came up for air and laughed. “Alright, my turn to jump in!” You said, getting out and walking to the diving boards.

You did a cannonball in the water and Poland started snorting from the water that went up his nose from the splash. You swim up to him and peck him on the mouth and he gives you a sly grin. “do you still like what you see?” Below the water he gestures to his tight swim trunks, which appear to be getting even tighter with his growing red rocket. “Oh my boo boo nugget, I am obsessed with what I see”. You didn’t break eye contact with pectoral, who kept occasionally dipping below water, swallowing it, and aggressively kicking his feet to resurface. You continued to take off your bikini and throw them to the pool ledge. He watched you intently, and you could see him start licking his lips in yearning. You reached towards his dinosaur trunks which contained his still growing hose and pulled them off his long fuzzy legs, revealing his incredibly hard cock and balls. He awkwardly enters your warmth and goes ham, occasionally slipping out from loss of balance. Both of you are a moaning mess. Both of you were being flung all around the pool from the sheer force of plart’s thrusting, and in the corner of your eye, you see yourselves getting closer to a pool filter..

“Wait! Wait wait wait hold on, stop!” You suddenly stop your movements just as Pedestrian does. With his gym dog still inside you, he starts trying to move the two of you away from the pool filter by flailing his arms and feet. In his attempt to move away, he actually pulled the two of you closer, causing him to panic. “NOOO!! AAAAAAHHHH” Pestable lets out a bloodcurdling scream that alarms you. “PESHMERGA, STOP! IT'S OKAY CALM DOWN!” You start gracefully swimming the two of you in the opposite direction of the pool filter. “Sorry.. I was just.. scared.” He says, looking away. “Why were you scared? It’s just a pool filter.” “I know, I know, but.. what if it.. started sucking me up?” You giggle as you see his face growing redder by the minute. “It won’t suck you up, don’t worry. Lets just stay away from it anyways.” And with that, pegetable is continuing his hard thrusts into you. “Ahh, babe I’m- ughhh- close!!” He says. Not more than 10 seconds later, hes painting your insides with his warm juices.

“OOOOHHH SAINT HEAVENS” palatable bellowed as he climaxed. Immediately after, you orgasmed too, and you just floated in the water with your num nums in sweet relief. President then said breathily, “wowie.. that was bonkers!!” He then glanced at his deflated balloon and started hurriedly looking around, getting more panicked by the minute. His little buddy was floating around in the water as he swam. “What is it platitudinous?” You curiously asked. “Where are my dinosaur trunks?” He replied with a worried tone. Your lack of response made his eyes tear up. “NOOO!! NO NO NOO!! THOSE ARE MY BIG BOY TRUNKS!!!” He started angrily slapping the surface of the water and swallowed the droplets of water that was being splashed. “I WANT MY TRUNKS NOOWW! NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW!!!!!” You recognized this tantrum to be very similar to the one he had earlier, and you rushed to comfort Powerline. “There there, poverty, since you’ve been such a brave boy today, I’ll let you skip your veggies AND get you a new pair of swim trunks.” This seemed to help him calm down, and he wiped off his snot with some pool water. “okay” he said quietly. “That’s my good tater tot, now let’s go.”

You got out of the water and grabbed a towel. You walked back to the ladder and handed it to poop so he could cover up as he got out. He stepped out and grabbed the towel before wrapping it around his waist lazily. He started waddling slowly, hunched over to the chair where all of your things were placed. He picked up some things just as you did, and you both started walking back to the sign in to leave. In the middle of the trip, the towel fell, but portion didn’t notice. You watched his flat, high ass waddle as he slapped his feet against the pool deck. “Uhh, penetrant? Looks like you’re forgetting something!” You start giggling to yourself as phlegm starts looking around, oblivious as to what he’s missing. His gym dog is flailing about until he realizes his towels fallen off. “Oh brother, silly me! Looks like there’s a hairy hog on the loose..” Protestantism smiles and starts chasing you around, gym dog wagging with each movement. Who cared about the lifeguard? All you cared about was your perfect poo poo puppy, and that was it.

THE END.

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A/N: This could be our naughtiest one yet! What do you think? 🤔🧐 Leave a comment and a like if you enjoyed 🙂 Make sure to like, subscribe and hit that that bell!🛎️🔔🔕💁‍♀️

[cas-poisoning]

Just saw a tweet that referred to the events of this past weekend as “Misha accidentally coming out as queer again” y’all that man did not come out as SHIT

[serkonans]

project runway season 19 i am literally always thinking about darren apolonio

[nana-glass-chillhop-radio-hour]

Big 'yet you participate in society... interesting' energy from all these articles in NYT and the Atlantic deriding upper middle class white people from two-parent homes for daring to suggest that the nuclear family as a social unit could be improved somewhat (by polyamory)

[thealogie]

me: *knows full well there are no conjugal visits in BOP*

me, nevertheless: well what’s hilarious is they will have to get married again for the conjugal rights. There’s that. Despite everything we have kim and Jimmy prison marriage for the conjugal rights.

[senatortedcruz]

P!nk made some points on Dear Mr. President.

[eileenleahy]

i usually dont see the sex appeal of allen leech/tom branson but he won this round. girls say yes to boys who say no i guess

[littlelovingmouse]

i really need to stop scrolling through my dash when i'm nodding off, i keep reporting and sending posts to people by accident

like at some point i'm gonna do something really embarrassing and i won't be able walk it back and say 'oops sorry my eyes closed but my finger was still on my touchscreen'

[pinktinselmonstrosity]

it's moments like this that remind me just how much more left wing i am than the majority of people i know 😶