#sexypole

[croffle-bits]

Fighting God in his own home

[greenscreen-dress]

Vote Joe Hills for MCYTblr Sexyman I spent four hours on this :D

... admittedly 1 of those hours could have been saved had I figured out how layers work on Dotpict a bit quicker lol. Fun though! Biggest thing I've ever pixelarted so I'm already proud ^^

Anyway there's a bit over an hour left so go go vote Joe!! If they beat Quackity I'll make an improved version of this with uuuh more frames? Better glowy bits? Touhou rainbow crystal wings?? Vote and find out later, idk!

Vote here thankyouu~♪

[randomgamefan]

My favorite interpretation of the ending of the Tumblr sexyman polls is that Sans is just as thrilled about Cecil winning as Cecil is.

Reigen is fucking devastated though lmao

[ike-mcswains-mortician]

HEH. just submitted my rhetorical analysis of glenn’s trial (apparently on the anniversary of his sentencing, so giving myself bonus points for timing there). my professor is in for a fucking SHOW

[vallianttreedreamland]

What the actual fuck did I do.

I made a tumblr poll between the sans siblings in I Expect You To Roleplay and the server is on fire because of it. Yall are crazy as shit and I fucking love the server.

It's also called the tumblr sexypoll now.

[sexiestpodcastcharacter]

Sexiest Podcast Character — Unscripted Bracket — Round 5

Propaganda

Glenn Close (Dungeons & Daddies):

#Propaganda for Glenn Close: one of the other PCs mentions multiple times how hot he is #Actually several characters point it out but especially Henry #Also the only person in a podcast that has to put a disclaimer about not being a BDSM podcast to have had sex during the course of the show

Young hot rocker dilf

Loyal to his dead wife <3

Does in fact smoke weed

BARD!! HES A BARD. HE WAS LEAD GUITAR IN HIS BAND (that he was kicked out of)

His band was a Christmas cover band btw.

Literally the fandom had hot Glenn summer which consisted of drawing him being incredibly hot and sexy

Anti government (ofc)

Kind of cringefail (Disney adult) (was on dilfs of disneyland)

Young and sexy not your style? Then how about HIM AFTER YEARS LOCKED IN A TIME PRISON WITH A DAMN HANNIBAL MASK ??

Lost an eye and wears a fucking eyepatch

One incredibly buff arm

Has a pet rat named after his son <3

Immeasurable amounts of trauma in this man- becomes progressively more unhinged

OH OLD HUMAN BARD ISNT CUTTING IT? FINE

HE BECOMES A FUCKING DEMON

A COOL HOT ONE-EYED DEMON WHO WANTS TO KILL HIS DAD (also sexy)

HE CANONICALLY ENDS CHRISTIAN HELL VIA CHRISTMAS

IS ALSO WAY OVERLEVELED

Becomes a demon hunter for the rest of his existence

Also nonwhite !!! We are done with cringefail whiteboys !!!!!!!!!

I can’t put into words ok just know he is the best plz love him.

Okay but Glenn made a minivan cum by talking to her so

HE HAS A BOOK THAT HE MARKS X’S AND CHECKS FOR EVERY DAY TO SEE IF THAT DAY WAS A SUCCESS OR NOT. TO SEE IF HE DID GOOD THAT DAY. ITS ALMOST ENTIRELY X’S. HE WAS CUCKED OUT OF A SON. AND A DEAD WIFE. HE DIDN’T EVEN GET TO KILL HIS DAD IN REVENGE. There’s absolutely nothing going for him except his sex appeal in his life. Nobody he loved remembers him. He lost his eye. All he has is a pet rat and friends who admit they don’t really like him that much. He was kicked out of his own band. The band was named after him. He was kicked out of the Glenn Close trio. All he could do was deez nuts the big bad and be sexy. If nothing else, then pity him. Look in his eyes. Look at his heart and soul. He did not do the BDSM episode for this I’ll tell you what. Do this for my his sake. Do it for Nick Jr, who needs the prize money to pay for his rat snacks. Do it for his son. For Morgan. Ganbatte.

Glenn is the goofiest sexiest character there is and I will die on this hill! I will ride into battle for him! what Dndads created is truly unique and Glenn is a key part of that and for that he deserves to win. I said it before and I'll say it again - GLENN SWEEEEEP

Can we talk about how he says ‘baby’ casually? Like he just calls people that?? That’s HOT. THAT IS HOT!! He’s also bilingual and knows Japanese!!!! He’s a big dumb idiot with a lot of charisma!!!!!! HE WORKED AT A BDSM PLACE FOR TWO SEPARATE ONE SHOTS. HES SO SAD BUT PLAYS IT OFF LIKE HE’S CHILL ALL THE TIME!! HE DOESN’T THINK OF HIMSELF AS SINGLE BECAUSE HE DIDN’T DIVORCE HIS DEAD WIFE!!! He’s like.. the perfect guy. We need this win.

I’d also like to add the fact I made this. Which is the first 11 episodes edited to (almost) only have Glenn in them <3 which is a level of insanity I hope to reiterate. These took hours to make. I wouldn’t do that for anyone else.

Mod Note: While I will still take "bad dads are sexy" propaganda and "bad dads aren't sexy" anti-propaganda, I kindly request no more discussion on whether or not he was a bad father. This is a sexypoll, not a parentingpoll. If you see a post you strongly disagree with, you can just not reblog it.

Mod Note 2: This tournament is about fictional podcast characters. Please do not vote for the real actress Glenn Close.

Amber Gris (The Adventure Zone: Ethersea):

Middle aged woman who punches sharks to death. My hero

If you love me you'll vote for amber gris I swear to everything holy on earth amen

Amber is butch, instant win

Amber Gris has a negative charisma modifier and she pissed her pants on purpose in order to trick a guard and knock him out. She tied up a dude. She once killed an evil magic shark (they're out for murder. not like real sharks) by punching it and then picked it up and smashed it into another shark, also killing it. She talks in a southern accent. She calls people guppy because it indicates a lack of respect. She has a big pair of magical green arms that come from her stomach. She got a fancy jacket and immediately ripped its sleeves off. She has a gay thing going on with one of the political leaders in the city. She gets in fights with people and doesnt do vulnerability and tries to lay low and not get in any social trouble she doesn't have to. She jumped through a portal into a new world because she could. She's now the god of said world, alone with only afformentioned political leader, who was previously possessed and she had to fight. She spends her time in a bar called the Cloaca. She calls people she doesn't like claspers, because it means shark penis. She and her friend, an old man named Uncle Joshy, sneak attack each other and yell VIBE CHECK! She tries to talk fancy to impress people and she's really bad at it (verily).

She’s everything and more. She’s irreverent. She punches sharks for a living. She becomes God. What more do you need in a butch.

amber gris propaganda: she is straightup the physical embodiment of "women want me, fish fear me." also she's an appalachian post apocalyptic sea captain. that's just objectively cool.

AMBER GRIS IS PUNCHES SHARKS AND IS (one of) THE MOST BADASS BLACK WOMEN PCS IN DND SHOWS IVE EVER SEEN. SHES INCREDIBLE AND A WIN FOR DYKES EVERYWHERE

amber's creator said she was based off of the type of working-class woman you commonly see in appalachia where "this is the sort of woman that you see walking past CVS, and you know that a truck could hit her and it would just split around her as she continued to go pick up whatever she had to do that day." and that's pretty hot

guys Amber becomes lesbian god of the new world with her childhood “”friend””

#amber gris is LITERALLY a middle-aged butch #she would win this entire tournament in a just world

Last time Amber got horny was when she killed that shark

"it was a savage bummer though, don't-- trust me, there's nothing that great about a history. You know? I got one. What did I do, killed a bunch of sharks? Last time I got horny, god and christ I can't even tell you-- well, it was when I killed that shark. But! Hey. We're all just kinda figuring it out."

Moonshine Cybin (Not Another D&D Podcast: Bahumia):

She's a hot elf with mushrooms growing on her. She has 1 level of barbarian. She's bisexual. She shapeshifted into a dragon and ate a god.

how tf does the post not mention Moonshine’s giant boobs her greatest asset

Moonshine has canonically gone down on a woman for a solid hour without asking for anything in return. Moonshine edged a dryad just by kissing them. Moonshine faced down someone being controlled to kill everyone in his path and told him if he still wanted to hurt her, she would take his blows as a friend. Moonshine makes jambalaya for her family and friends. Moonshine mispronounced someone’s name for a month and that woman still wanted to hook up with Moonshine. These are just a few of the reasons why Moonshine is sexy.

shes illiterate

canonically huffs dirty water from a bong

has big tatas

wears a belly chain with a demon trapped in it

almost became the queen of hell

ate a god

turned into a pregnant moose & gave birth

The woman she went down on for an hour asking nothing in return is still hung up on her, 200 years later. Moonshine is unmatched

To be clear the woman whose name Moonshine mispronounced for a month and then hooked up with is the same woman she went down on for an hour, and the same woman who is still flustered over her 200 years later. The rizz is unparalleled. She’s also incredibly kind and accepting of others, and goes out of her way to bolster her friends. The party always requests one big bed.

moonshine cybin is a druid who learned counterspell through sheer force of will. moonshine cybin turned one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse into a dolphin, flew him 60 feet up into the air, dropped him on the ground, and then spit spores into his face to kill him. moonshine cybin turned into a dragon and bit the head off of a double god. moonshine cybin was willing to confine herself to an eternal hell to save the world. moonshine cybin is a dragon rider. you know what you must do.

Amber and Moonshine Together

Look at them. They should not have to fight when they could be gay instead. Imagine the power they would have combined... Every lesbian in a hundred mile radius of the post would swoon. It may be an odd alliance, but from an Ethersea fan to Bahumia fans, i believe this will strengthen both our odds. I have always been insane about Amber Gris but through this poll I have also learned about Moonshine and come to love her too. Take my hand... We can do this together...

OKAY HEAR ME OUT MOONSHINE AND AMBER WOULD GET ALONG SO WELL

appalachian sapphic solidarity!

Art of Amber and Moonshine from @pirateknight.

[banbanfan01]

i have learned so much about cecil gershwin palmer as a result of the tumblr sexypoll rematch and yet i still feel as if i know nothing about him. hes canonically gay married and has been for seven years. hes jewish. he has an adopted son with his gay husband. he canonically wears fake cat ears. everyone draws him wearing crocs and at this point im assuming thats also canon. he doesnt know what he looks like because hes afraid of mirrors because his mom told him hed be killed by one someday. he was at dashcon. as im typing this the cecil/sans poll is at 65/35 and cecil is winning. he didnt even get past the first round of the first poll and suddenly hes in the finals of this one. the person whos running the polls barely even knows who he is. who is this man. does this entire website have some inherent fondness towards this man no matter how much youve been exposed to night vale. at this point i think hes a cognitohazard and needs to be contained lest he upset the larger sexyman ecosystem like an extinct species being revived and unleashed upon a world too weak to handle his presence. i voted for him by the way

[nicky-jr]

if glenn wins the sexypoll i will draw soooo much sexy glenn art on god. it will be the only thing i draw forever. i will feed the glenn fuckers for millennia please i need this

[ophelliate]

I think the most remarkable thing about the sexypolls tumblr edition is the fact that an entire generation of tumblr is being educated by veterans right now for the sake of campaign

[milos-journal]

SLENDERVERSE SEXYPOLL FINAL ROUND

(Reposted due to wrong poll length.)

[woodworkzz]

Tony beating Black Hat in the Tumblr Sexypolls will never not be funny to me. Get clocked, fucker.

[greenscreen-dress]

SO. I did not in fact have enough time or quietness (or a good setup or general knowledge of how Audacity functions) to do more than mumble into my mic while the original song's instrumental plays at a lower volume, but I swear I CAN play this on the guitar. Definitely. No matter how much of a bastard the B7 chord is ^^;

There's less than two hours to vote so if I want this to be relevant in the slightest I need to post it NOW, shoddy editing and MS Paint album cover and all. Shoutout to @quinnhills, whose delightful appearances on Joe's streams / episode + yesternight's beautiful Valentines Day concert stream served as inspiration and motivation when coming up with this silliness (also thankyou for the follow aaaa). & of course since this is the final showdown, HUGE thankyou to @/mcytblrsexymen for spawning this entire week of shenanigans. Wishing you all the best of naps (after the final data crunching & spreadsheet-ification) <3

Lyrics are below the readmore, someday I WILL record a proper version with my own instrumentals and No washing machine sounds in the background, enjoy and GO VOTE JOE FOR TUMBLR SEXYMAN.

Keep add-vote-uring :D

Scarandjoe - A blatant silly parody of ABBA's Fernando, a song about remembering being in a war.

Have you seen the polls, Scar and Joe?

They began so long ago— oh no, it hasn't been a week

You're the final fight, Scar and Joe

Something that began so small and as joke has come so far,

And for many this finale

Was the outcome they had hoped for from the start

They were close those rounds, Scar and Joe

Even wins by one percent, or less, we'd still call them a sweep

We allied ourselves with fandoms

That we'd then be forced to turn against amid tearful good-byes

And it's all been in the name

Of saying who's the sexiest of these blocky guys

There is no better way to decide

Who'll earn the title

Than fan polls

There were 96 MCYTS,

The finale:

Scar and Joe

Cast your vote, and if it's hard to choose

Listen my friend...

Let me point you to the best campaign

The win, he'll claim

That dang Joe

From the start he has been playing to win

Adventurin'

That dang Joe

Now my bias has been exposed

Looking at my URL and blog I'm sure you'll understand

That I'm asking y'all to vote Joe

Not because I'm gay and thus immune to Scar's Good Times and abs,

But because the Joe Hills Difference best embodies being a Tumblr Sexyman

There is no better way to decide

Who'll earn the title

Than fan polls

There were 96 MCYTS,

The finale:

Scar and Joe

Cast your vote, and if it's hard to choose

Listen my friend...

Let me point you to the best campaign

The win, he'll claim

That dang Joe

This whole thing has been a wild ride

The fraud, the bribes

These fan polls

Fanart as far as the eye can see

Trending all week:

A shambles

Cast your vote, and if it's hard to choose

Listen my friend...

Let me point you to the best campaign

The win he'll claim

That dang Joe

Yes from the start he's been playing to win

Check his LinkedIn

That dang Joe.

Beating the odds time and time again

Now it's the end

Vote for Joe

[cannoliparty]

imagine........ SansMaeda Premier Amour..

okay so the reason why i think it fits them is:

1- The POV of the person in the song sounds like they're reminiscing someone they loved that happened to just.. leave (could be by death, or just by parting ways with them for a while WHICH IS WHEN SANSMAEDA COMES IN!!! If put in that typa scenario you could say this is the POV of Komaeda during the years after the porn ban (2019- early 2022) and why specifically that timeframe??? BECAUSE HE SAW SANS WITH FUCKING REIGEN IN SEPTEMBER 8TH AFTER HE WON THE SEXYPOLL. god this ship is the death of me

2- "This Weekend I'm all alone.." are you fucking KIDJNG ME. COME ON!!!

i dont listen to malice mizer but i pulled the song up and omg..... also i see where youre going with this trust me!!!!!

supporting malice mizer sansmaeda this song is so good

[shartgod420]

I want a recount on the tumblrman sexypoll not a single homestuck character was included

[absentmoon]

sans wins sexypoll by doing absolutely nothing