#sh lori

[safehavenedits]

[caloriecounter-ibarelyknowher]

no, I don't cvt mys3lf.

I do:

h1t my h3@d

b@ng my elbows against the walls

k1ck chairs and doors

h1t my knees, thighs and hips

fantasize about su1c1d3 and S3/f h@rn even though I will never c0mm1t or badlt hur7 mys3lf

no, I don't cvt mys3lf.

but I *do* $h

and my $h will NEVER be serious enough to get help for.

nobody cares about the odd bruise.

[cultofdixon]

Haunted by what is forever told on our skin

Daryl Dixon • She/Her Pronouns • When the group found the prison, no one expected the past to come and haunt us all even if they don’t understand until life is re-written • ANGST/SFW • TW: PTSD / Past Abuse / Domestic Violence / Scars / Injuries / Past Attempt Mentioned / SH Scars

Requested by: Anon

“We found a place that we can make into our new home” Rick started. “We obviously need to fix a few things for the immediate future. But it’s got good walls”

“What is it?”

“It’s a prison, which I know sounds unsettling at first but once we take care of the walkers…it’s pretty golden” Rick finished and went to check on his family while the others started to pack up the vehicles knowing they will be leaving once he’s ready.

Daryl noticed Y/N stand still for a really long time for unknown reasons that started to concern him. But when she noticed him looking at her, she quickly picked up her pack and went to join Glenn and Maggie.

Odd…

They weren’t going to tackle the main prison just yet given the time of day. All they did was take out the walkers in the yard and get their cars within the gates before making camp for the night.

Y/N watched Carol go over to Daryl to give him what accounts for dinner with what they’ve got before turning her attention back toward the prison. This time catching the attention of someone more curious and willing to speak up.

“Have you been here before?” Beth questions Y/N, snapping her out of her thoughts as she gave her a concerned look.

“Like what, a prisoner?”

“No, just. Well yes and no”

“Not as a prisoner…more like. Visiting…loved ones…” Y/N frowns squeezing her hands together to avoid an anxious harmful habit that she knew she wouldn’t be able to do in front of them anyway.

“You think we killed them?” Glenn suddenly blurts as Maggie smacks him in the arm. “What? You’re telling me people survived the outbreak in that prison?”

“Don’t mean you have to ask somethin’ like that when you don’t know the rel—-“

“I haven’t…seen him in years. He could’ve been released or…executed for all I know. Only have seen him twice and the second time wasn’t…pretty” Y/N got up from the group, going to take a walk and clear her head on the matter. All while Maggie lectured Glenn about pushing boundaries.

When Daryl came back to the group with Carol, he noticed her absence immediately but as he scanned the surrounding area for her…he watches Rick make his way over to her given he hasn’t stopped walking the perimeter since they’ve gotten inside.

Y/N stared at a walker gnawing at the fence from the other end trying to reach for her. She stepped closer to the fence rolling her sleeve up and testing fate when the voice in her head told her to stop, as well as the voice behind her.

“What’s wrong” Rick asked with a concern look on his face when she turned toward him. With the light from his flashlight he noticed the scars that littered her arms making her instantly cover them. He knows as a cop not to trigger the situation further, even if most cops tend to do that anyway. But he’s not like most. “You want to scout with me? Don’t have to be in the mess of people for a moment”

“Mess of people?” Y/N laughs slightly. “You know you’re including your wife and son in that mix”

“I do…” Rick frowns, now walking with Y/N around the place. “Honestly we’ve all done something stupid and yet I’m paying for it the most given the silence I’m receiving from Lori”

“…You know, don’t you?”

Rick didn’t utter another word but gave her a look that confirmed it all.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner”

“Well, I still don’t know you. Not a stranger. But still not enough to share something like that” Rick shrugs. “I’m not mad at you”

“Right…still. I feel bad. No one should have to deal with that. End of the world or before”

Something about what she said only drew the concern to a higher level. Rick gestured with his head to return to the rest of the group and as he went to sit with his family, Y/N went to sit alone outside of the group facing away from them. The only time she was addressed was when T-Dog dragged a blanket over her shoulders, the flinch that came from her caught Daryl’s attention even more.

When the morning came, which meant time to progress inside the prison grounds…they were careful taking out the walkers in the courtyard before taking the risk of entering the building. Rick, Daryl, T-Dog, Maggie, and Y/N took care of being the first to sweep the cellblock they entered. Taking out the few walkers they came across, including seeing a few prisoners that have met their fate to the undead or found a quick way out of the mess before they met that end.

Y/N lingered too close to a locked cell on the second story not seeing anything immediately until the walker forced itself against the bars causing her to stumble back.

Rick quickly came over taking the walker out as Daryl brought himself to her checking her person.

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah. Uh…yeah” Y/N frowns stepping past him returning to the first floor to help Maggie in any way.

The group started to make home of the cell block for now and will progress further into the place in a bit. Just for now they were taking a break. While others claimed cells as their new “rooms”, Daryl took the catwalk not liking the idea of living in a cell and he wasn’t the only one to think such.

“Need help?” Glenn asks Y/N if she needed a hand pulling the mattress out of the cell and into the main walk way on the first floor.

“Oh uh. Yeah sure” She frowns letting Glenn help her move the mattress and before he left, he quickly grabbed one of their many blankets handing it to her. “Thanks…”

“Of course” Glenn smiles leaving to check on Maggie and her family.

Daryl leans against the railing watching Y/N sit on the mattress bringing her knees to her chest and hide her face. Her whole body tensed and hasn’t relaxed since they’ve entered the prison.

The group hasn’t relaxed like this since the farm and they were getting used to the temporary quiet.

The next morning a few took inventory of the gear they’ve found in the prison, then came to the decision of checking the rest of the prison. The men plus Maggie and Y/N. Daryl took lead while the rest followed through the darker parts of the prison.

Maggie getting spooked by Glenn after he marked the direction they came from only stressed the others and Y/N did her best not to scream as a trigger response to hers.

Then it became a game with the walkers coming from every direction, even where they came from. Resulting in being separated from Maggie and Glenn. But when Hershel retraced his steps, he unfortunately gotten bit. A bit of scrambling resulted in T-Dog and Y/N holding the doors to their only entrance and exit while the others held down Hershel so that Rick can cut off the infected part of his leg.

But it wasn’t long for them to realize they weren’t alone.

Y/N felt as if she was struck down with the realization that she recognized one of the prisoners that Daryl and T-Dog were currently holding their stand with.

“We gotta go!” Rick shouted resulting in Y/N pulling away from the door ignoring who she had just saw and helped Glenn with holding the makeshift gurney to get Hershel on.

Everything seem to escalate while a good chuck of their own focused on Hershel then Daryl took liberty with T-Dog to keep the prisoners in check until Rick came to break the news about the reality the prisoners are now living in.

It wasn’t until they stepped outside to see for themselves when Tomas, the one with the gun, turned to the three with one question that led to a million internal ones.

“The woman with yea, where the hell you find her?”

T-Dog gave Daryl a questioning look as to who he’s referring to. Maggie or Y/N. Because they were the only women they saw.

“Who are you talking about?” Rick questions keeping his hand hovered over his gun. Tomas took note of such and decided to drop it.

Meanwhile inside the prison the chaos died slightly, all they could really do is keep an eye on Hershel and check his dressings. Y/N stood by the cell with Glenn to keep an eye on him in case you know what happens, orders by Rick of course. Glenn couldn’t help but get more anxious just from being in Y/N’s vicinity.

“What’s wrong?” He whispers to avoid alerting the rest. “Do you think he’s—-“

“It’s not about Hershel. Don’t…worry about it”

“How can I not when we just learned we’re not alone in here? What do you think the prisoners have done to get in this place?”

Y/N clenched her fists trying to fight back the anxiety induced tears or more so the PTSD she’s trying to avoid reliving but the sheer knowledge alone of him alive was driving her insane. Carol from the corner of her eye couldn’t help but have concerns for her because she understands.

________

“It’s…not the best, Sophia. But at least we’ll be safe until he calms down…” Carol reassures her daughter as they were directed into a room they were gonna have to share given how many people the facility has in that moment.

The woman on the other side of the room hugging her knees to her chest avoiding looking at them when they entered. She had just arrived there for the first time and wasn’t used to how many people. Granted the amount of people only made her feel worse that so many in her shoes need to find this escape instead of leaving the relationship they were in.

“Hello” Carol started, letting Sophia get comfortable on the bed as she hesitantly approaches. “I’m Carol. This is Sophia, my daughter” she frowns watching tears roll off her cheeks. “I guess we’ll be roommates for a while. We won’t make a fuss—-“

“You’ve been here before…the way you’re talking…you’ve been here before”

“Unfortunately” Carol frowns watching the woman finally face her to notice the swollen black eye and her wrist in a cast. “You’re new aren’t you?”

“…Unfortunately” She scoffs. “I should’ve known…sooner…before the cops got involved”

Carol brought herself to sit on the bed with her giving her a look asking for permission to rest a reassuring hand on her knee which she granted.

“We like to believe that they will get better. Some just. Go too far and need the intervention…”

The woman frowns only nodding to her words as she held herself close again feeling her hand slip away.

“Do you have a name?”

“It’s—-“

________

“Y/N” Carol frowns finally having a moment away from the mess, being handed a towel from her because of the blood all over her person. “Y/N are you alright?” She whispers to keep this conversation between themselves but all Y/N could do was show discomfort in her expression and try not to let the tears fall.

“We can’t let them stay here. They aren’t good people. He’s not a good person” Y/N wanted to let go but they were soon interrupted by Rick.

“Y/N I need your assistance with clearing a cellblock for the prisoners”

“Do you think that’s a good idea?” Carol questioned immediately and for her.

“We’ll kill them if they go too far but for now. We made the deal so we can get half of their supplies. We need to hold a front for a short while longer or until they’ve proven—-“

“Rick” T-Dog calls for him outside their block as he nods indicating they’re on their way.

“I’m sorry. I need Y/N. Glenn is watching Hershel and Maggie is out of commission for now. I need a good fighter and she’s one of them” Rick states, taking Y/N’s arm only for her to shove him off before walking toward T-Dog. The smallest action made Carol smack him in the harm.

“You push her and you won’t hear the end of it” Carol threatened before returning to Hershel’s aid as that left more suspicion with Rick.

When they started to go over the plan with the prisoners, Tomas instantly locked onto Y/N who made herself known finally.

“Baby—You’re alive” Tomas declared about to make his way over to Y/N when Rick stopped him. Daryl instantly looked at her as the tension and anxiety from her all made sense when they arrived. “What? There’s no prison laws anymore. I don’t have to wait for visiting hours to see my girl”

“She’s here to help. Not rekindle anything from the before” Rick stated pushing him back as that only angered the man but before he could even retaliate, Y/N quickly pulled Rick back blocking the way resulting in hesitation from Tomas.

“Just listen to him Tomas” Y/N struggled to keep a steady speech but the way he relaxed and nodded. This was only going to put her in a position that Rick will hate himself for later. Hell, the hate will come from more than him.

As Y/N steps back she felt Daryl’s gently tap her arm indicating for her to stand with him. Which she did. Tomas had her attention all on her while Rick explained how they are going to handle the walkers.

As the group watched the prisoners take out a handful of walkers in their own creative way. Daryl turned to Y/N watching her struggle to get a deep breath in given being in the same room as the man who hurt her was only making her suffocate.

“Hey…take a breath. C’mon” Daryl whispers keeping his attention on her, lifting his hand and lowering it then repeating to show he’s trying to get her to follow the breathing pattern. “There. You’ve got it…I’ve gotcha”

When they were alone in a room for a more controlled way of taking out the walkers, Tomas brought himself close to Y/N but enough for her to hear him given Daryl was hovering.

“Miss me?” He smirks watching her step away. “Aww come on baby. I’ve been good. I was going to get out in good behavior if the world didn’t end”

“Oh yeah, which guard did you bribe into helping—-ow!” Oscar snapped as Tomas smacked him in the arm.

“I have a restraining order. You wouldn’t—-“

“Baby girl. You’re right here. Right now. It’s the end of the world and the laws don’t apply—-“

“Focus” Rick snaps and then one of the prisoners got scratched right when the wave calmed down.

The other prisoners were trying to argue in saving their friend but right as the arguing got to a point, Tomas suddenly took the crowbar he had to killed the prisoner. The action put Y/N in a frozen state of mind as she tried to get herself out of there but she wasn’t moving. Then when Tomas decided to put all his anger toward the prisoner when he really wanted it toward another, Daryl forced Y/N to look away but she wouldn’t move so he blocked her view.

“You see the look on his face?” Daryl asked Rick as they hung in the back covering Y/N from Tomas who was in front of them.

“He makes one move…”

“Just give me a signal” Daryl stated as they all entered the laundry room from the looks of it.

One door.

One door was what Rick told Tomas to open.

…

Everything just has to go to shit huh?

Tomas tossed the walker at Rick directly and while he did and the others took care of the rest. He instantly went for Y/N. He heard the two of them talking and it doesn’t take a genius to understand that one wrong move and he’ll get killed in the process.

“No—No no” Y/N instantly thrashed against his grip only for Tomas to pull her into him wrapping his arm around her front but have his hand on her throat. “Please——“

“I tried to be buddy buddy for this pig bastard. But I know the only reason I’m in here in the first place is because of you” Tomas whispered angrily, tightening his hand around her throat.

“Let go of her” Daryl snapped readying his crossbow but before he fired, Rick stopped him as the gun Tomas had pressed itself against her throat.

“Lower it or I won’t hesitate” Tomas threats putting his finger on the trigger as Y/N couldn’t help the tears in that moment. “I know you’re just going to kill us the second you have a chance because of what we were in the past—“

“Right now you’re just provin’ you haven’t changed” Rick stated keeping his attention on Tomas as well as Daryl but he also took note of how Y/N was doing and by her body language, she wants this to be over. “The fuck do you want in order to let her go unscathed…mostly” he watches his grip on her neck lessen but not enough for her to free herself.

“Let me go. Like that one said before. Let me try to fend for my goddamn self out there with the stuff I’ve got” Tomas pressed the gun into her neck more when he watched the two move. “You have to lower your weapons entirely…or I will kill her on my way out”

I’m not losing her Daryl instantly lowered his crossbow, even set it on the ground and that action led Tomas to glare at Rick to do the same along with T-Dog who had a different vantage point.

Tomas slowly stepped back, dragging Y/N along with him before tossing her to the ground keeping his gun pointed at the few. He waited a moment then turned on his heel making a break for it but before Daryl could grab his crossbow, Rick stopped him as Y/N took out her holstered gun aiming it at Tomas and taking the shot. He dropped instantly and his death led to another prisoner losing it and making a break for it.

As Rick grabbed his gun chasing after the other prisoner, T-Dog kept the other two in check while Daryl quickly brought himself to Y/N’s aid assessing how bad the bruising was on her throat and noticing the return of the frozen state she was in.

“Has she spoken to anyone since it happened?” Lori questioned Rick as the two were at the entrance to the prison watching Y/N sit in the field alone.

“No, but I know for a fact Daryl ain’t gonna leave her out there alone for much longer” Rick referred to the archer who couldn’t keep his gaze away from Y/N when he was helping T-Dog with more walker burn pits.

After some time, Y/N flinch hearing footsteps as she turned around to find Daryl holding his arms up in surrender. She relaxed turning herself back around as he brings himself close taking his poncho off and carefully putting it on her.

“If you’re gonna stick around out here might as well have that” Daryl sat himself down beside her leaning back on his hands.

“You wanna know don’t you?”

“Know what?”

“What he did. How he got there…I can’t explain why he was the way that he was but I can try—-“

“We all have our scars. You don’t have to share yours…we all were just. Scared for yea even when we didn’t know” Daryl frowns watching her get comfortable with the poncho on her as she kept her bruises hidden the best she could.

“He hurt me. The first time was…or I thought it was an accident. Then it kept happening every time I did something wrong or he was mad at something else.” Y/N frowns hugging her knees close to her chest. “He even got mad when I tried to get out of it…”

“Get out of the relationship, right?”

The look she gave him was full of sadness and even when the threat being permanently gone, there was still the anger toward her past self for letting it happen for so long and not ending it sooner.

“Oh…well, uhm. I’m glad you’re still here” in some way, that was him telling her exactly how he felt about her.

Y/N finally let herself break with the tears starting to stream down her cheeks. She held herself while she sobbed, gripping onto the poncho reminding herself that she’s safe now.

“I won’t let anyone hurt yea…ever again” Daryl promises then…

and will promise forever.

[lunajay33]

New World🍂Part.11

Summary: You grew up in a crappy town with one friend who kept you going, everything started to fall into place, that’s until the world ended and the dead ruled the world, now you and your best friend Daryl Dixon had to stay alive but will you finally confess?

Warnings: This chapter contains light sh if you’re not comfortable don’t interact

Part.10

•Masterlist•

It’s been a few days since Daryl had left me to stay out god knows where with Merle, his brother who was an ass and always treated him like crap, he left and I had no more will to live, he was my anchor, I haven’t left the watch tower since I got up here I couldn’t find the effort to go down for anything

The door to the guard tower opened seeing it was Carl with Judith, coming and sitting next to me on the little makeshift bed

“Hey…..we miss you down there” he said smiling, he was such a sweet kid and ever since the incident with Lori he’s kind of clung to me but I didn’t hate it

“I’m fine here”

“Well I brought you some water and some cans of food” he said taking his back pack off and handing it over

“Thank you sweetie, sorry I’m not of any help right now, it’s hard to explain this feeling” I said as he placed little Judith in my arms

“It’s okay, I may not get it but I know what it’s like to lose someone you love, and I know how much you loved Daryl”

“I just miss him so much, I need him back” I said feeling my chest tighten trying to keep the tears at bay as I let Judith play around with my fingers

“If you’re soulmates you’ll meet again and from what I’ve seen you are just let him see what he’s missing and he’ll come running back for you” he smiled patting my shoulder

After some play time with Judith and a little chat with Carl he left having to change her and feed her, maybe Carl was right maybe I should go down for a bit it might clear my head, I left the guard tower making sure to cover all my cuts and saw Carol and the prisoner talking

“Hey y/n it’s good to see you” she said with that bright smile of hers

I just smiled and nodded still not feeling like my old self, the me that felt whole with Daryl, before the apocalypse I never was reliant on him like I am now but he’s still the man I love the man I’ve always loved, I can’t just bounce back to normal without the person I’ve had in my life since I was a kid

I wandered around the courtyard, picking up some stray garbage helping to clean up the place when there was a gun shot, I looked around frantic seeing Axel dead on the ground Carol hiding behind his body as more guns went off

I ran to go back to the watch tower hoping to get some cover but the distance was further than I thought and I didn’t know where the shots were coming from so I didn’t know if I was covered and that was quickly proven when that familiar feeling of stinging warmth flooded my body

I fell to the ground right as I got to the watch tower dragging myself inside somehow, slumping down on the stairs looking at the blood gushing down my chest and right arm, a bullet gone right into my shoulder, the blood oozing out quickly making me lightheaded fast from my low iron

I ripped off a piece of my shirt struggling to wrap it around my shoulder and tying it off tight to help the bleeding, I laid back against the stairs feeling weak, the sound of blood pumping in my head by body exhausted

The gun fire had ceased and I heard the others outside scared trying to figuring out everything that happened

I tried to kick the door open but it was no use, my vision was starting to blur and become spotty

Daryl’s POV

“Where’s y/n?” I asked looking around not seeing her Carol or T.dog

“Last I saw she was trying to run back to the watch tower she’s been staying in” Carl said pointing over to the tower me and her always stayed in on our turns

“Damn” I grunted running across the court, Carl and Maggie right behind me as I yanked the door open, the sight making my heart stop

Normal POV

Voices around me, faces blurred but the closer it got the more I knew it was Daryl as I was gently picked up

“D….Daryl” I spluttered out

“I’m here sunshine”

Then everything went black

Daryl’s POV

I ran with her in my arms to the cell block laying her down next to Hershel as he yelled for the others to get his supplies

“Will she be okay?” I asked focusing on all the blood covering her, I should have never left why the hell did I leave

“We gotta stop the bleeding, with her being anemic she’s gonna have a harder time lasting with all this blood lose but I’ll do all I can�� he said as he pressed down hard, after it stopped he pulled out the bullet stitched her up and sterilized it then bandaging her wound

“She’s bleeding on her leg too” he said noticed blood that had seeped through her jeans, I was hesitant but her health was more important so I pulled her jeans down enough for us to see what was causing the bleeding here and it finally broke me because this was my fault and I knew it, Hershel looked at me with worried eyes then went to clean them

I moved her to our bed on the perch and waited for her to wake up, hoping she woke up, I can’t believe this happened to her again in the span of a year, shot twice my sunshine the girl who’s stuck by me always making sure I was okay and now I’m the reason she hurt herself, the reason I wasn’t here to protect her

I gently peeled her out of her blood soaked clothes and put her in a spare shirt of mine and some looser jean shorts that covered her cuts, I found a clean rag and a bucket of water and cleaned off her face and any dirt that had accumulated on her body

I hope she come back to me soon

Normal POV

My head was pounding and everything was so bright and hazy

“Fuck” I groaned trying to cover my eyes but shoot pain through my shoulder

“Hey yer awake” I heard from beside me, I tried to focus and his face came into view, it was Daryl

“Am I dead? Or did you come back” I asked running my hand on his scruffy face

“ ‘m back I shoulda never left” he said filled with guilt

“Why would you go Daryl, I’ve always been there………you promised”

Part.12

Will y/n forgive Daryl or will she be scared he’ll hurt her again

Taglist: @deansapplepie @ghostboneswrites2 @willowshadenox @thebadbatch2022 @writer-ann-artist @i-wear-wet-socks313

[hutchersonsgurl]

Somethin about you Shane Walsh x reader

Paring yn greene with shane walsh

Synopsis you and Shane were together before the world fell and now you are meeting again when it ended. So now that the world has fallen you do everything in your power to protect your daughter

Special thanks to my bb @taylormarieee

⚠️ warnings blood smut 18+ graphic violence MDNI.

Word count:

---------------‐------------------------------

🥀Shane was the type of person where you can look at him and he'll either break your heart or fulfill it. You were one of those people who tried to guess. And believe it or not, the guess you made was completely wrong. He fulfilled your life with love. He didn't break it until later. Now the end of the world has happened and you could only imagine if he's either alive or one of these brain-dead zombies. 🥀

------------------------------------------------------

You were outside milking the cows when your dad came outside to tell you that your daughter Faith had woken up you walk into the house as you pick Faith up you hear screaming coming from outside you walk outside the front door to see two people you never thought you'd see again

"Rick? Carl? Oh my God what happened?" you ask

"He's been shot, please help us," Rick says shaking

You don't even see who's running in the background you tell your dad to help Carl

You gave Faith to Beth to watch her as you helped your dad get Carl stable you walked Rick out of the room to go sit down

*Maggie goes out to find lori to bring her to the farm*

"Here you go," you say as you hand Rick something to drink

As you stand up you see Shane standing in the doorway

"Holy sh--------" Shane says as he sees you

You walk away to go check on Maggie Beth and your daughter

You hear Shane and Rick talking as you walk into your bedroom

You pick up Faith from the bed and you walk out to see what is going on in the living room Otis your dad and Rick are talking

"What's going on? "You ask

"I need a respirator to be able to do surgery on Carl "your dad says

"What do we do? "You ask

The old high school they should have supplies there Otis says

"Well I said leave the rest to me is it to late to take that back?" Shane says jokingly

I'll go with you I know my way around you otis says

"Are you sure?" Shane asks

"We can talk about this till the sun comes up or we can get it done right quick" Otis says

"I'd take right quick" Shane says

"I'm coming with you two" you say going to your room for your stuff

"Honey why won't you let the boys handle it" your dad says

"No dad they'll need back up and like momma always said never let a man do a female's job" you said

You walk over to maggie who's holding Faith "mommy is gonna be right back I'm gonna help some friends okay?" You say as you give your daughter a kiss on the cheek

You give your dad a kiss on the cheek and hug him as you turn around you see shane staring at Faith like he knows something

I can't thank y'all enough rick says

No problem rick you know I always have your and Carl's back

"Honestly yn you really don't have to go "lori say as she comes up behind rick

"I got this lori and If you could help keep an on faith that would be great " you say

"Of course lori says as she hugs you"

The three of you head outside and get into the truck

"Are you sure about this?" Shane asks

"Of course I am I ain't no damsel in destress" you say as you roll your eyes

"You two know each other? "Otis asks

"Yeah this is my ex boyfriend remember"? You ask

"Oh the dude who couldn't keep it in his pan- oops sorry" Otis says as he continues to drive

"You know something about you seems different yn" Shane says

"What's different besides the fact I ain't waiting on you to change" you respond back

The rest of the drive was quiet until you guys reached the high school

You open the door to get out grabbing your knife from your back pocket

"Yn you really should stay behind us" Shane says

"I'm good I can handle myself thank you" you say

"You really are your mother's daughter "Otis says

As you start to walk towards the back door you notice that there's two walkers hanging by the door

"Yn wai---" Shane says as he cuts off to chase after you

You walk up to one of the walkers and kick one in the knee and and stab it in the back of the head same with the other one

"Holy shit you took down two walkers "Shane says in shock

"Told you I can handle myself" you say as you walk into the school

-----------------------------------------------------

Part 2 coming soon

Not edited

Lemme know what y'all think

[d1xonss]

Desert Rose

Chapter 22 ~ Scars

✧ Pairing : Daryl Dixon x Rose

✧ Era : Season 2

✧ Word Count : 5.4k

⚠️ TW : Mentions of attempted suicide & SH scars

In this chapter ~ When Rick and Shane decide to take Randall away from their people to drop him and fend for himself, things seem to go wrong on the other end. Beth becomes suicidal after witnessing the death of her mother just days prior, leading Rose to comfort her in a time of need. However, the heaviness that followed was a lot more than she anticipated, though luckily for her, Daryl helps her pick up the pieces.

It had been about two days since they brought Randall back, and he eventually woke from his unconscious state. Since then the place had been chaotic.

The group was constantly going around and around in circles about what to do with this guy, so much so it gave me a pounding headache. Because most of the time the arguments wouldn't go anywhere. People would just repeat the same things that had already been said, causing us to feel stuck in the same place as no one really had a solution.

Until Rick just made the final decision to do what he wanted to since the beginning, take the man far away from the farm and drop him off on his own.

So now that the man was finally able to walk and balance decently on his own, Rick and Shane took a car to drive him out in the middle of nowhere, leaving the rest of us nervously waiting for their return. Everyone eventually seemed to agree with the plan despite the possibilities of him coming back, but it's not like we had much of a choice.

I for one was trying to keep myself busy all day, helping Lori with some laundry, staying to keep watch on top of the RV, I even made a run into town earlier that morning with Glenn. We had found a few different stores in a small part of town that had some useful things in them. But there was a little something else I found that I was extra excited about besides the food and supplies.

When we walked into the last store, I saw it. The perfect thing to give to Daryl. I had never gotten him something in return when he gave me my sketchbook and watercolors, but now I had something that I thought would suit him quite nicely. It was a black leather vest with stitched angel wings on the back.

In my mind, I hoped he would really like it and I had planned to give it to him later that night. Once we all knew Randall was taken care of.

Currently I was washing dishes with Maggie, occasionally talking about random things, trying to get our minds off of what was happening today. I could easily tell she hadn't stopped thinking about it since it happened either, the anxious feeling of the man somehow making his way back to her own home couldn't have been easy to deal with. But I had hope that everything would work out just fine and things would begin to move smoothly again.

She wordlessly handed me the last plate that was in the sink, water dripping off of the edges as I took the towel in my hands to dry it. She leaned her back up against the counter as she stared down at her shoes, the sound of me stacking the final plate in the cabinet brining her out of her thoughts as she glanced back up to me nervously.

"Can I talk to you about something... more serious?" she asked.

I only nodded my head as I listened, throwing the towel back down on the counter to give her my full attention as I copied her stance.

"Well, Glenn's been avoiding me lately, and he told me that when he was out there trying to fight those guys, he froze at one point. He was saying that since I told him I loved him... that's the reason he froze, and my dad had to save his life. He said he was afraid to die... thinking about how it would affect me." she finished almost a little shamefully.

My eyes widened a bit as I was a little thrown off and not expecting that, but I was still quick to respond and reassure her. "Listen, I know that it might not feel too great that he's avoiding you, but the truth is he loves you too. I don't think he should be avoiding you, I think he should be cherishing these moments he has with you, but y'know he's a guy." I pointed out, giving her a look she would be able to read.

She laughed quietly to herself as she nodded her head in silent understanding, "But he'll come around, I promise. You just gotta give him a little time." I finished.

She pressed her lips together and nodded gratefully, "Thank you." she said, "I feel like I can really talk to you ya know? I'm glad you're here."

I smiled, "Yeah, me too." I spoke, opening my mouth again before closing it back up quickly. My dumbass almost slipped up and said something about how I was glad that I stayed, but I bit my tongue before it could come out.

My eyes then absentmindedly panned over towards the tray of food that Maggie had set off to the side a few minutes ago, "Is this for Beth?" I asked, quickly changing the subject.

She followed my gaze and nodded, "Oh yeah, I was about to bring that up to her when we were done."

"Oh I got it, I was going to check on her soon anyways." I said, moving towards the counter.

She smiled gratefully, "Thank you. You know Beth really likes you. Ever since you taught her how to play those few songs on the guitar it's really all she can really talk about. I think seeing you would cheer her up."

"Yeah, I had fun teaching her, I'm sure she'll be ready to learn some more in no time." I reassured her.

Maggie nodded her head and I fully picked up the tray in my hands, walking out of the kitchen to head upstairs and into Beth's room. It seemed quieter than usual as I made my way up the familiar stairs, something seeming a little off. But I mostly blamed it on Rick and Shane's absence, still not here even after leaving early this morning.

For some reason the whole thing left a bad taste in my mouth, sensing something might go wrong out there, not necessarily with Randall. But with each other.

After what happened with the barn and the whole fight that came after that, the two had been at each other's throats ever since. It was way far off from how they used to act around each other, seeming more like brothers than friends. But something just clicked and now they almost acted like strangers. Though it was none of my business, I still noticed.

Pushing my thoughts aside, I made it up the long staircase and lingered by the closed door, knocking softly a few times before I entered. To my surprise, I heard her soft voice from the other side invite me in, causing me to open the door as best as I could with the tray still balanced in my hands.

"Hey hon, it's just me." I announced as I walked in, "I brought you something to eat, and to see how you were doing."

Her gaze panned over towards me, and my breath hitched slightly in the back of my throat. I knew that familiar look all too well. I tried to not let it affect me too much in case I was wrong, but I had a feeling I wasn't. She looked utterly broken and depressed, much more pale with bags under her eyes from the lack of sleep. She had just lost her mom, I came to find out that she was the walker Beth ran to after everything happened. I'm pretty sure I couldn't have felt worse for her after finding that out, now more than ever seeing her like this.

"You can just set it down here." she said, pointing over towards the side table next to her bed.

I did what she asked and stood there for a moment as she stared at the sandwich on the plate, "Do you want me to stay, or do you want some space."

"Some space. If that's okay?" she asked.

"Yeah of course," I said immediately, "Just...call if you need anything." I finished with a smile.

She barely gave me a noticeable nod before I turned on my heel to give her some time alone, but I couldn't just brush off the vibe I picked up. It again could be nothing, just being paranoid over something I was reading too much into. But in case I was right, I didn't just want to keep it to myself.

I ventured back down the stairs, peeking in the kitchen again to see if Maggie was around, but the room was empty by the time I got back. A sigh left my lips as I turned back around to try and find her, but I managed to spot Lori entering the house right as I was about to come down the hall.

"Oh hey, Lori?" I called out as I approached her.

She turned towards me with a small smile, hanging up her jacket, "Hey, what's up?" she asked.

My eyes glanced back up the stairs momentarily before turning back to her, slightly lowering my voice, "I just...I'm worried about Beth. She just seems a little off and I was going to find Maggie to let her know but-"

"I can tell her." she offered with a nod, "I'll keep an eye on her until she comes back."

"Yeah that would be great." I spoke gratefully, "She's just up in her room and wanted to be left alone... but I don't know I think Maggie should know."

"Absolutely." she agreed instantly, "I'll tell her the next time I see her, okay?"

I nodded, "Thanks." I said with a small smile, passing her as I moved to exit the house.

I felt a little bad not telling Maggie about it myself, but knowing someone else would keep an eye out for Beth gave me a little piece of mind. I didn't want to hover over her or pick up any overprotective instincts even though in the back of my mind I knew it was inevitable. I just wanted her to be okay.

The rest of the day passed by slowly, leaving nothing much to do around camp and everyone simply doing their own thing for the day. After not being able to find Maggie, looping around the farm a couple of times, I assumed she was back in the house at this point. So I took the much needed time to myself.

A few hours passed by with me just laying down in the yellow tent trying to relax as best as I could. Spending most of the time reading the book Daryl had stolen from me when he got hurt and it actually turned out to be pretty good, only drawing me more in with each chapter. The details were amazing and I loved the plot. I didn't plan on giving this back to him anytime soon.

I hadn't seen him for most of the day because he decided to go out hunting fairly early in the morning, leaving camp before the sun even rose. He offered for me to come with him, but I declined as I needed to go out on that run with Glenn to get some things for myself, and he understood. I just hoped he would be back soon along with Rick and Shane who continued to be gone for far too long.

Damn it was like everyone was missing today.

After closing in on the last chapter, I finally shut the book after what felt like forever, blinking my eyes a few times to adjust them. For hours I had been reading tiny words on these pages and I felt that it was time for a break. So, I placed the book back in my bag, standing to leave the tent and walked outside a little to stretch my legs, leaning from side to side as I was hunched over for many hours.

I glanced around the small camp to see who was around, before my eyes suddenly stopped on Carl sitting by the RV. He seemed distant as he glanced at the comic book sitting in his lap, barely reading over the pages as he sloppily flipped through them. A pain in my chest suddenly dispersed upon seeing him like this, knowing that he hadn't been the same since he witnessed Sophia coming out of that barn. But who could blame him?

He was grieving in his own way, separating himself from the others as much as he could for just some time alone to think. I hadn't had a proper conversation with him since that day everything went wrong, keeping my distance as that's what he seemed to wish for. But I shook my head as I began to walk over towards him, wanting to talk to him for the first time in what felt like too long.

"Hey kid." I greeted him.

He glanced up and gave me a slight smile, "Hey." he spoke as he closed the book to give me his attention.

I moved to take a seat next to him on the ground, "So, what're you reading? Tell me about it." I said.

His eyes lit up "Really?"

I chuckled a little, "Yeah, why not. Who's this?" I asked, pointing to some sort of superhero.

His excited demeanor never faltered as he went on to tell me everything that was happening in this comic book. Who all of the characters were, what their powers were, and what their mission was. This was one of the first times I had seen him get excited about something in what felt like forever, and it warmed my heart at just the sight. He began to slowly open up a little bit more the longer we talked, changing the subject a few times to talk about his favorite cartoons he used to watch before the outbreak.

I enjoyed watching him smile, it felt like it had been some time since it last happened, and I was just glad to distract him even if it was only for a few minutes. A kid his age should never have to go through half the shit that's he's been through, though he was tougher than I ever could've imagined.

After we finished talking for a while, I left him to read it in peace after that. I wanted him to have his space too, and I never wanted to overstep any boundaries, especially when it came time to grieve someone.

I found myself heading back into the house to grab something to eat afterwards, but as soon as I walked in, I jumped a little as I suddenly heard screaming from just up the stairs. I didn't hesitate for a second before I was rushing up the steps two at a time, jogging into Beth's room to see Maggie and Lori were yelling and banging on the bathroom door.

"Woah, woah, what's happening?" I asked.

Maggie's head whipped around to face me, "Beth...Beth tried to kill herself and now locked herself in the bathroom, I heard glass." she spoke quickly, continuing to pound on the door, pleading with Beth to listen.

Panic flooded through me. She tried to kill herself? And was now attempting again? I stood in the doorway frozen in shock as I felt as though I couldn't move a thing. But then my eyes quickly darted around the room, looking for something to get the door open. Lori had moved to search the room for the key, frantically looking through her drawers as fast as she could, but I spotted a metal rod sitting in the corner of the room. I didn't think twice about it as I stepped forward, picking it up in my hands before telling Maggie to move out of the way quickly and she jumped back.

Sticking the thing in between the lock and the wood, I pushed on it as hard as I could in an attempt to pry it open. There was a sudden crack after a few seconds before the wooden door suddenly flew open, revealing Beth standing there with her hand over her wrist, blood pouring out of it. Her head whipped over to us frantically as soon as she heard the door breaking, tears streaming down her face and her heart no doubt racing out of her chest.

"I'm sorry." she sobbed, and Maggie didn't waste anymore time as she went in to pull her close.

I ditched the metal rod in my hands, stepping inside the bathroom only to realize how severe the cut actually was. Blood was now running down her arm and onto the tile floor, the amount of pressure she was putting on it clearly wasn't enough. I quickly placed my hand on Maggie's shoulder to get her attention, gently pulling Beth out of her hold.

"Go get your dad, he's going to need to stitch this up." I said, trying to hide the panic in my tone.

But she caught it even though it was disguised, quickly nodding her head as she left right along with Lori to try and find Hershel as fast as possible. Beth looked up at me and opened her mouth to speak, but only a sob came out as she ducked her head, causing me to immediately shush her and bring her into a hug.

We all had different experiences with mental health, everything was dealt with differently, but I somewhat knew how she was feeling. I had been in her position not that long ago and seeing her standing there when I first opened the door, brought all the memories back, so fast it was like a tidal wave. The whole situation nearly knocked me off my goddamn feet.

After standing in place for a while as she sobbed into my arms, I slowly started to bring her back into her attached bedroom, sitting her down on the bed so she could try to relax and focus on her breathing as she put more pressure on the wound.

Hershel frantically came in soon after that with a needle and thread and started to stitch his daughter up as she cried. I stayed by her side the whole time, holding her hand to offer her some type of comfort I was able to give. Though it was heartbreaking hearing her cry, and even more heartbreaking seeing Hershel try to pull himself together as he worked. I tried to think over the right things to say to her when the time came, but I felt that there was no right thing to say. What could you say after something like this?

After Hershel was done he said he would talk to her later and soon left the room in a hurry to no doubt let a few tears fall, leaving Beth and I alone again. She slowly laid down on the mattress after he left, her cheeks still stained with tears as she tried to calm herself down, with me rubbing her back towards the end of the bed. The silence slowly becoming deafening.

"Are you mad at me too?" she suddenly asked. I could feel the pain in her voice.

I whipped my head to look at her, "Oh my God honey no, I'm not mad at all. And neither is Maggie or your dad, they just love you so much. Seeing you like this... it hurts them, you know?"

She sighed as she shook her head, "I just feel so alone in this, like they don't even understand. Nobody does." she muttered.

"You're not alone." I said with a shake of my head, "I can promise you that."

"How do you know?" she was quick to ask.

My breath caught in my throat as I thought back to my own experiences, so different, yet so similar to hers. I debated in my head for a long time in the dead silence, letting the seconds turn into minutes if I really wanted to do this. I had never dared to show anyone the things I kept only to myself, ashamed of what others might think if they caught a glimpse of them. It made me feel vulnerable, weak, and that was something that I hated, but I needed to show her that someone here understood what she was going through.

So with a heavy breath, I hesitantly lifted my shirt sleeves to reveal my deeper scars on my wrists, trying to ignore the twist in my stomach as the cold air hit my arms. Her eyes followed my movements, immediately seeing them and I watched her eyes get wider with each passing second.

"I know." I assured after the agonizing silence.

She shook her head in disbelief, "You-"

"Yeah." I interrupted her, almost like I didn't want to hear her say it.

"It was uh... at a really hard time in my life. I won't bore you with the details but someone in my life was making me feel worthless. He told me that so much I started to believe it myself, and I got really depressed. Eventually I thought that... doing this was my only option so I... tried. But I regretted it as soon as I saw the blood, kind of like you did. So I called for help and I... saved my own life that night."

She stared at me so intently, listening carefully to every word that came out of my mouth. I knew I could trust her to not say anything to anyone, just as she knew I wouldn't judge her for trying to do what she did. It was like a silent agreement that we had at that moment.

"Look, my point is I don't know exactly how you feel and I never will. But we were in the same boat you and me, we're fighters and I know you'll make it through this. You just proved that today when you stopped yourself." I said.

Her eyes refilled with tears as she looked at me with utter sadness, "I didn't realize...I'm so sorry Rose."

I tried to swallow the lump in my throat, not wanting her to see me cry as I smiled sadly, "I'm sorry too." I whispered before bringing her into a hug.

She clung onto me tightly as the new fresh tears fell down her face, sobs erupting from her lungs. All the emotions mixed with the exhaustion was truly taking a toll on her body, but I was prepared to hold her for as long as she needed. Just like I wished someone had held me.

Once her cries quieted down after a few minutes, I spoke quietly to her, "I am always going to be here for you, okay? You're never alone in this. Never." I assured as I held her tighter.

"Okay." she whispered, hiccups building in the back of her throat.

Although I couldn't see her face as she spoke, I knew now that she believed me, and knew that I wasn't going anywhere. Hell, I would be at her beck and call always if that meant saving her life. I somehow knew then that everything would be okay, maybe not at first but it would be. Beth was strong and I could see that so clearly, even if she couldn't see it yet herself, she was going to be okay.

After I knew for sure she was okay for the night, her assuring me multiple times, I said my goodbyes and walked out to send Hershel back in the room to talk to her. Nothing could've probably prepared him for the things that man had to do today, but I just couldn't get over the look on his face. It was like he had seen a ghost when he first burst into the room, and it was devastating.

After I walked out of her bedroom, I found him just sitting a few feet away outside, telling him he was good to head in, but before I could walk away he caught my arm to stop me.

"Thank you for...comforting her at a time like this. I just... I don't know what to say to her once I go in there. But just know I appreciate you Rose, thank you so much." he said with visible tears in his eyes.

I took his hand off my arm, squeezing it tightly, "Just be there for her, okay? Let her do the talking first. And it's no problem, I care about all of you so much."

He nodded and then suddenly did something I didn't expect, he hugged me. I sighed to myself before I was soon hugging him back for a few moments before letting him go after a few short seconds so he could talk to Beth. After watching him go, shutting the door behind him to leave only a crack, I made a beeline down the stairs and out of the house. I practically jogged all the way back to the tent, tears threatening to fall from my eyes as I desperately tried to keep myself together. But the moment I zipped up the entrance, finding myself completely alone, I let it all out.

Seeing Beth like that was too much for me, but I wouldn't dare let her know that. She needed me and I was going to be there for her, however it just brought back painful memories from my past that I so desperately tried to avoid. I just sat there and cried quietly as I hugged my arms around my middle from the slight chill in the night. Rethinking everything that had happened today, I couldn't help but wonder how it could've been different if I had just stayed inside that damn house. How I could've prevented something from happening if I had tracked down Maggie myself. Maybe things could've been different.

But suddenly the zipper of the tent was being opened quickly, and Daryl was making his way inside as he finally returned from his hunt. I quickly looked away from him while frantically wiping my eyes, knowing he hadn't heard me crying, not even noticing I was in here at all at first from how silent I had been.

"Oh, hey." he greeted once his eyes raised from his boots, "I was bout to look for-" he then stopped himself noticing immediately the state that I was in, "Rose? Hey, what's wrong?" he asked, coming to kneel in front of me.

I tried to pull myself together, "Nothing, I'm okay." I said as I looked to the side, basically anywhere but his face.

I couldn't look at him, I just knew I would break down if I did. I could already feel the new tears building up in my eyes as I felt him gently take my hand in his and rub the back of it lightly with his thumb.

"Talk to me." he said in a soft voice.

I didn't say anything. I didn't even know where to start, today had just been painfully long and all I wanted was to go to sleep so it would be finally over. It seemed like we couldn't catch a break. And as if it couldn't get any worse, I saw out of the corner of my eye Daryl's eyes were staring down at my wrist as he still held my hand in his. I froze with widened eyes and suddenly didn't know what to do, I couldn't move.

"Rose." he said softly while looking at the scar, moving to take my opposite hand to see the other. But I quickly pulled both hands away from his grasp so he couldn't get a better look.

"Damn it." I cursed silently as I pulled my sleeves back down harshly, wiping my eyes with them as I tried desperately not to look him in the eye. I didn't know what I wanted, for him to leave or stay, when all I could feel now was just utter embarrassment.

He made no sudden movements for what felt like years, until I felt his finger and thumb gripping my chin gently to lift my head to look at him. His thumb rubbed softly on my chin as I finally brought myself to look into his blue eyes.

"Talk to me." he repeated.

That's when the sudden floodgate broke loose, my tears only falling more freely than they did before. I couldn't stop them, there was just so many emotions I was feeling about everything, and I couldn't get all of it out before he came back, so now he was witnessing it firsthand. I felt mortified about crying so much lately, it seemed like all I was able to do, like it was all I was good for these days.

His hands then moved to my cheeks when it began to be too much, his thumbs gently wiping my fresh tears away. He leaned in close to place a soft kiss on my forehead, waiting patiently for me to start talking whenever I was ready. And I did.

I told him what happened with Beth and how she tried to end her life. I ranted about how I should've been there sooner and not just sitting in the tent all damn day, but I didn't know. I should've known, the feeling I had alone was a good enough reason to stay close, but I truly didn't know. Regrettably I also when on to explain my situation as well, seeing as I couldn't really avoid it because of what he barely saw through the darkness.

I told him almost every bit of the conversation I had with her, though it made me the most uncomfortable, I didn't want her to believe she was alone in this. Informing him also that seeing her like that brought back too many memories for me and that's why I had been crying in the first place...and then we sat there. There was just silence. He didn't try to talk one time. He just listened.

After seeing that I was done, not having anything else to say, he finally broke the silence, "Yer one of the greatest people to walk on this earth, ya know that?" he asked.

I was slightly taken aback at what he said, a scoff leaving my lips as I shook my head, "Believe me I'm far from that." I responded, no longer looking at him.

"Look at me." he said softly.

I slowly tore my eyes away from my hands and met his again, almost burning under his gaze. I almost couldn't believe how much I was cowering away from someone I truly trusted, but then again this conversation was one that I didn't want to be having with anyone.

"What ya did for Beth, bein there for her, that's the best thing you can do for her. And showin her she isn't alone through all this, it's amazin what ya did for her today...now about you..." he trailed off, looking back down at my hands sitting in my lap.

He then gently grabbed both of them and slowly rolled both of my sleeves all the way up to the middle of my arm. I tensed when he did this and he noticed, but yet he didn't stop. He raised my left wrist up to his lips, and began to leave soft kisses over every inch of the scar. Then moved to my right wrist and did the same exact thing, leaving goosebumps on my skin, but a warmth in my heart.

He held both of my hands tightly once he was done, looking back up at me as he spoke again, "Yer so strong, and ya never have to be ashamed of these. They're just marks on yer body to show that ya made it, even when things were really hard. I get yer ashamed of showin em, but you don't have to be. Not with me." he finished.

I stared at the man in front of me in awe. Nobody had ever spoken so beautifully about me like this before. Nobody had ever complimented the thing that I was the most insecure about. No one had ever kissed the places I had once hurt so badly. Nobody except him.

Tears built up back in my eyes, but this time for a completely different reason. I was quick to take my hands out of his, wrapping my arms around his shoulders to bring him into a hug as I felt I could finally breathe.

I heard what sounded like a sigh of relief come from him as he quickly wrapped his arms around me as well. Maybe he was worried about what he had said upset me, but it did quite the opposite. It made me relieved. Relieved that someone cared enough for me to not only see the good side of me but also the bad.

But with the way he spoke, and the way he was hugging me back so tightly, it almost made me question if he knew the feeling as well. The feeling of being ashamed or insecure because of something marking you from your past. And maybe he did. But I wasn't going to ask. I would wait until he felt comfortable enough to tell me, like he did for me just moments ago.

~ Thanks for reading!

[boygiwrites]

Harley D. Dixon 23

An amazing edit inspired by this story! (Cred to Cora_Line99) Harley D. Dixon's Pinterest Board! Harley D. Dixon's Playlist!

📖Chapter List.

Author's Note.

Warning for strong themes of suicide in this chapter because of Beth, and well, everything else.

Herschel left the farm all by himself while we was out.

As the sun sets behind the porch railing, Lori explains to Rick and Glenn that Beth's in shock — the thing I was in this morning. She tries to mutter it under her beath, but I hear just fine that she tried to kill herself by slicing her wrists up. Different to how Momma did it, but I know just about every way there is, and that's one of 'em. If I were Beth, I would'a just jumped out the window. Prolly would'a worked, but maybe she didn't want it to. Lori and Patricia found her just in time to save her. She's laid up in bed now, apparently still staring at the wall.

Rick keeps glancing at me throughout the whole conversation. I don't know why he's doin' it, but I wish he'd cut it out.

Herschel told us today he'd learnt what grit was, but I guess he ain't learned enough to deal with his daughter wantin' to die, 'cause he hopped in his truck and took a trip to town to get away from it all. Maggie begs the two of 'em to go bring him back, and they agree.

"You got any guesses where he might'a gone?" Rick asks, putting his hat back on. Always savin' people. "Parks, stores, houses?"

"Hatlin's." She answers unhappily. "Bar on main street. He practically lived there in his drinking days. If he's gone anywhere, it's there."

I can't imagine Herschel in a bar. My Daddy and Uncle Merle used to rot away in bars when they was angry or sad, but that was them.

Rick must be thinking the same thing. "I didn't take Herschel for a drinker."

"He gave it up the day I was born." She half-smiles. "Didn't even allow liquor in the house... But not anymore, I guess."

"I've seen the place." Glenn assures her, holding her shoulder and turning to Rick. "I can drive us there."

"Okay." Before they turn to leave, he murmurs to Lori, "Does Daryl know 'bout Beth yet?"

She shakes her head and glances at me, too.

He warns her, "Well, you're gonna want to. Harley's been havin' a tough go of it and I ain't sure how this is... gonna affect her."

She gives a look of understanding. "I'll go talk to him now."

When he comes down the steps, he crouches in front of me. He's got his Dad-face on, the one that's all nice and reassuring.

"Hey, you did good today." He tells me. "How 'boutchu go find Carl and read some comic books together or something for a while?"

"Alright." I lilt, watching him gently clap me on my shoulder before following Glenn down the path toward the cars.

But as soon as they're gone, I don't go find Carl. I take myself around the side of the house and slouch between two old barrels in the grass, hiding from everyone. I've gotten real good at swallowing down the need to cry, so that's what I do. At some point, the darn ringing returns.

I wish some little animal would cross paths with me, so I could take my knife out and stab it dead. That'd make me feel better.

Merle would smack me if he saw me like this. Don't cry, Harley. Don't cry. Been a long, long day, but you don't gotta cry.

The sun soon disappears under the earth.

"Sh, sh, sh. Baby, it's okay." The night is quiet, but our little tent is filled with my pent-up sobs. "It's okay."

I wish I could go to sleep like everyone else, but I can't. The day's finally caught up with me. Rick and Glenn still haven't returned, but the farm's been a mess without 'em all the same. Dad's been watching me like a hawk since Lori spoke with him, and dinner was spent in silence, and I been trying not to cry for hours. He keeps crooning the same thing to me over and over. It's okay. I hear that stupid lie every time things aren't okay. It don't get any more okay-er no matter how hard I bawl or scream into his shoulder, or wish with all my heart and all my body, right down to my toes, that I weren't such a little wuss. I wish Sophia was alive. I wish Shane made it to Fort Benning.

Seems I'm always hurting. If anyone asked me what I did best, I'd say this. Sometimes feels like all I was made for.

I did good faking my way through the day, but as soon as I laid my head down to go to sleep and realized that I couldn't no more 'cause of my ear, I finally broke. Can't shoot, can't hear, can't sleep. Everything, even the way I curl up at night, been stripped from me.

"It's not okay," I moan, hating that when I close my eyes, I can still see the things I don't wanna. "S'all wrong. It hurts."

"I know it does, chicken. But I'm 'ere. I'm always here." He murmurs into my hair, holding me even tighter to his chest. "Just get it all out."

I wanna tell him I can't, it don't work that way. If you could cry yer sadness out, I would'a lost all mine by now. But he already knows. Just like me, he's made up of sadness. Most people say we're alike 'cause our matching scowls, our little moles. But more than anythin', it's that.

I don't think I've ever been this type of angry before. There's just nowhere to put it. There's no-one to blame. It's just inside me. And I think it'll be there forever, like my bones are. There's no use being sour at Rick or Dad for killin' Shane. You can't get mad at people when there's no right or wrong to it, when they was just doin' what needed to be done. Shane was crazy, we've always said it. He done so many things he shouldn't have. No, I ain't mad at them for that. Or at Glenn, or T, or Andrea for helping 'em. Not at the bullet that shot my ear off, not at the Greenes' God for takin' all my friends away. I'm just angry at being alive.

"He said it was gonna be d-different this time." He said a whole bunch'a things, but that one I remember. "Daddy, I want it t'be different."

"It will be, baby. It will. I'mma keep you safe with everythin' I got, okay?" At least that one's not a lie. "You know that."

"But I'on care about me." I pull back, my fingers twisted in his tank top. "It's everyone else that's dead. It's Shane and Sophia a-and Momma and Merle and Morales and prolly Meemaw and Kyle and my cousins. I'm sick of it! Ain't no point in movin' on if people gonna keep dyin'!"

"Don't talk like that, Harley Dixon." He gently scolds, brows twitching into a frown. "Don'tchu ever. There is a point."

Well, I don't get it no more. "I ca-an't even sleep properly, Dad."

"Well, let's just try again. You can lay on yer other side." He offers. "Dad'll read you another story, huh? Or you want me to sing again?"

"No." I croak miserably. I don't want a story. I don't even want a song. "Even if I go to sleep, t-that's ruined, too. I get nightmares. And when I wake up, it's the same thing all over again. Eatin' scraps and cryin' and takin' ringing meds just for somethin' else bad to happen."

"That's the way life is, Harley." He tells me, a little stricter this time. "I can't change it any more than you can. People die—"

"People mourn," I quote him with a roll of my wet eyes, "Life moves on. I heard."

"Stop it." He don't like that I mocked him, not one bit. Not when it comes to this. "It's true. We move on. We keep livin'."

"Well, maybe I don't wanna. Maybe I'm done."

Herschel says I got a thing called grit. Dad says I'm his brave girl. Carl thinks I'm some sorta badass, but really I'm just a nasty, broken little thing called Harley Dixon. I don't wanna keep living if living's full of death. Maybe it's better the other way. Beth thinks so. Momma sure did, too. I never got to ask her if it worked out like she wanted and got all her sadness taken away, but I like to think it did. I like to think there's no bad things where she is, only good and happy things. She ain't watched Shane die. She ain't stood at Sophia's grave. She ain't hurtin'.

"Little girl," Dad's voice is thin and shaky like a whisper, but also very, very, very angry. "I know you ain't just said that."

I stare right back at him through my tears without a word, 'cause I did say that. Not to hurt him, but because it's the truth.

He slowly starts shaking his head. "Nah, I ain't raised you this way. I ain't raised a girl that gives up."

My wobbly frown deepens. "So that's what Momma was, then? She was weak?"

"Yes. Weak an' stupid." He says unapologetically. "And I won't have you talkin' like her. Over my dead body, girl, I won't have it."

"And how's that?" I challenge him. "You gonna make Sophia come back? You gonna fix my ear? You gonna make Shane—?"

"Weren't me that did that, Harley. Weren't Rick, weren't nobody but himse—"

"—Come back? You gonna kiss it all better and sing a song?" I taunt, shouting in his face, "They're all dead!"

"I know they are." He argues, taking a moment to suck in a breath. "I'm sorry I ain't find Sophia. I'm sorry 'boutcher ear. I'm sorry you're hurtin' and I can't do nothin' about it, but this type'a talk ain't what's gonna help you, Harley. It's bein' strong. You gotta be stronger."

"But I ain't," I tell him, and the tears are back now, streaming down my face, 'cause I'm right. I ain't strong. "I'm just nothin'."

"You're my little girl, is whatchu are." He says sternly, voice cracking. "I love you more'un anythin'. How you think hearin' that makes me feel?"

Probably makes him see the little traces of Momma on my face. Makes him feel like he's failing the same woman twice.

But I'm just so tired, and I just don't care. "I'on care how it makes you feel, Daddy. I'on care 'bout nothin' anymore."

Being empty must be worse than being full of somethin' like anger, 'cause this is the thing that really gets to him. Under his pair of twisted brows, his sharp eyes start to well up, his mouth curls into a sneer. The crickets outside chirp happily either way, dutifully filling the silence that comes. For the first time, I think my Dad is wrong about something. There is no point in moving on. Bein' strong, that's a waste. Shane said we deserve for things to go differently, go better in some way that ain't so cruel, but it didn't. It won't.

"You're fuckin' scarin' me, Harley." He utters thinly. "You ain't never talked like this."

I know. I ain't never stayed down after a hit, but I been strong for so long, I think it's just ran out.

I don't answer him. Instead I confess quietly, "I think I wanna go sleep in somebody else's tent tonight, Dad."

I need out this stuffy tent. If I could sleep alone in a hole somewhere, I would. I'm done arguing. And he's done, too. He wordlessly slides me off his lap and helps me gather my bedding, trying his best not to tear up more than he already is, muttering to himself, swiping at his eyes. He leads me back to main camp, where all the lamps are shut off and the fire pits are smoking. The night air cools my hot, red cheeks. 

He taps his knuckles onto a crate just outside the Grimes' tent, and before he even steps back, there's shuffling inside.

The zipper peels back, revealing Lori's sleepy, moon-lit face. She takes us in with a confused look. "Daryl? What are you doing over here?"

"Listen, I'm sorry for wakin' ya." He murmurs, putting on a level voice. "Came to ask you if... Harley can bunk with you guys tonight."

"Uh, sure." She agrees kindly, encouraging me to step inside by my shoulder, taking my sleeping bag from Dad. "Everything alright?"

"No." He answers gruffly. No point in lying. He don't give up anything else, and she don't pry. He places a kiss to my hair. "Night, chicken."

"Night, Dad." I force myself to say back, 'cause I'm grateful he ain't just kept me stuck in our tent, and that he really listened.

As he gives me one last glance and then leaves, Lori zips the tent up and lays my bedding down next to hers and Rick's. Carl snoozes away in the corner, an open comic book splayed out over his chest. I bet Lori knows what's the matter with me. Rick saw that thousand-yard stare I had after they killed Shane, knows how I been hating myself. He no doubt told her everything. But she's too nice to say anything.

"Here, sweetie." She takes my lumpy pillow and sets it down. I wiggle into the sleeping bag. "Comfy?"

I give a nod, even though laying on my back feels real strange and I don't got Matilda anymore.

She smiles blearily and crawls back under the covers. "Wake me up if you need anything."

And that's that. I stare up at the sky through the Grimes' tent, counting the stars through the black mesh until I fall asleep.

Sometime during the night, I bolt awake, sweating, crying, confused. Shane, I couldn't save him. I watched him die. Again. A gunshot, blood, shouting, dying, searing pain and a dog tag dangling from a broken mirror. Darkness, and then two little hands on my shoulders, shaking me. A boyish, worried voice telling me, hey, it's just a nightmare. I cling to them. Carl. He's here. I don't think before I let him hug me. I sniffle into his neck as he pets the soft spot between my shoulder blades like his Momma and Daddy do when he's upset.

"It was him again," I shudder. "Shane. I miss him. I miss all of 'em."

Life moves on, Daddy said. But how's it that mine ain't? When's that moving part happen?

"Me, too." His arms tighten around me as much as a boy's can. "You're allowed."

After that, I remember the sound of blankets shuffling, a flashlight clicking on, a comic book being quietly read to me. I remember my eyes closing, heart slowing, and I remember thinking he's gonna be the best big brother one day. In a way, he already is.

The next morning, my eyes flutter open to the sight of a quiet, empty tent. By some miracle, I must've slept in a little. I hear the fire crackling away outside, the clinking of spoons on bowls, muffled conversation. After taking a minute to yawn and stretch, I crawl out the tent.

"Ah, there she is." As I round the camping chairs, Dale sends me a warm smile. I take the seat next to him. "Just in time for breakfast."

I glance up at the second storey of the farmhouse, imagining Beth behind one of those pretty windows. I wonder how she feels about waking up this morning. I know I'm exhausted, and all I've done is open my eyes. Another day of eating scraps, crying, and taking pills. Ironically enough, Lori interrupts my spacing out by holding out two little white capsules and a water bottle to me. She's speaking, but I'm not hearing her. I throw both pills back and wash 'em down so I don't gotta look at 'em any longer. I hate that my body can't work on its own anymore.

"Harley." Lori's voice comes quick and sharp this time, startling me. "Are you listening?"

I glare up at her. She's standing so close to me that I don't know how I couldn't hear what she said the first time. "Huh?"

She looks at me like I've done something strange. "I said, 'You can't take those on an empty stomach'. Are you hungry?"

"Oh. Yeah." Now everyone's lookin' at me like that. I reach under my hair and nervously tug on my ear as she turns and fills a bowl with the creamy soup cooking over the fire. I've never not been able to catch what someone's saying like that. She hands the food to me. "Thanks."

As conversation picks up again, I struggle to pin certain words being said, especially when they're from Andrea, who's sitting the furthest from me, and Lori, on my left. S'like half the world's gone silent, and the other half's just a high-pitch squeal. God, it's makin' me mad. I claw at my ear again, as if there's somethin' stuck in there, like a wad of earwax or a cork, but there ain't nothin' in there but the ringing.

A scary thought crosses my mind. If you can't hear for no good reason, that means you're deaf. I can't be deaf.

When Andrea looks directly at me and says something that I think's meant to be a joke, I snap back, "I can't fuckin' hear you, Andrea."

Her smile drops pretty fast, but I don't feel bad. I feel frightened. To my surprise, I don't get told by anyone to mind my language.

Lori just looks at me all pitiful-like and hesitates to guess, "Is it the ringing?" 

I'm tired of hearing about the ringing almost as much as I'm tired of hearing the ringing itself. "It ain't the damn— I just can't hear proper."

She glances side-long at Dale. "Herschel did say..."

He sighs, looking a little stressed, before scooting his chair closer to mine and clicking his fingers on my right ear. "What about that?"

It sounds like a far-away thud, thud, thud, where it should actually sound like a snap, snap, snap.

"S'dull." I mutter unconfidently. 

He moves to my left ear. This time, there isn't even any thud, thud, thud at all. It's just silence.

When I say nothing, he leans back. "I'm no doctor, but... It seems very obvious to me."

I'm not a doctor neither, and neither is Lori or T or Andrea or Carl, but it's all rather obvious to us, too. I can tell, 'cause they're all lookin' pretty uncomfortable, like this discovery has already ruined the rest of my life as I'm just sitting here. I'm losing hearing in my left ear. That's what it is. As soon as Dad mentioned my hearing to Herschel, and when it got worse at shooting practice, I was scared this would happen.

Ain't nobody shocked. I was never gonna walk away from a gunshot to the side of the head with all my hearing intact.

I guess whenever somebody talks, I'll just have to try reading their lips.

"I had a teacher who was deaf." Carl offers this up like it means anything. "She was really nice and smart. Everyone liked her."

I almost feel like scoffing at him, Wow, thanks so much, Carl. You've cured me.

"It's really nothing." Lori's quick to reassure me, covering for his shitty attempt. "Hundreds of people live like this and they still thrive."

"Hell, I think I'm going deaf sometimes, too." Dale jokes. "And I'd say I'm doing alright, wouldn't you?"

"Sure, Dale." I try to chuckle, staring down at my cold soup.

Nobody mentions the fact that having sharp senses is what keeps you alive nowadays. If a walker sneaks up on me, I won't hear it.

It's then that Dad walks into camp, looking nearly as tired as I feel. He mutters a good morning to everyone, and Lori reluctantly stands to go collect my bedding for him. I waste no time hopping out my seat and going over to hug him, locking my arms around his neck as he kneels to hold me close. I said a whole lotta things last night, and so did he, but I don't think either of us is angry at the other over it. We can read each other well enough to know. He kisses my cheek before pulling back and taking my things from Lori.

Clearing his throat like he does when he might cry, he asks me, "You sleep well, chicken?"

Instead of answering, I just hug his waist and Lori changes the subject. "Daryl, just a heads up. That thing Herschel spoke about..."

"Damn it." He sighs when what she's implying clicks. He reaches down to soothingly pet my hair. "And they still ain't back, are they?"

"No. But we both know Harley and Beth are... in some type of way. We need him."

"And y'all want me to go and fetch him, huh?" He guesses, taking a long moment to consider. Then, "Y'all be grateful you been good to me."

"Thank you, Daryl." She exclaims. "Thank you. We've always been able rely on you."

He scoffs. "Maybe not always."

"Well, enough." She smiles. "They said they were headed to a bar in town called Hatlin's. I think you'll wanna head there first."

"There even gonna be anythin' he can do?" He mumbles so I can barely make it out. "I mean, the guy ain't David Copperfield."

"Well, in the old world, I might've suggested trying out a hearing aid, but now... I'm not so sure."

He grunts. "Them things need batteries, don't they?"

"I think so, but not any standard ones we'd have. You're thinking of finding one, aren't you?"

"I'd turn the whole fuckin' country upside down to get her one, if it's what she needs." He says. "Maybe some old dead guy's wonderin' around with his. Maybe I find one in a doctor's office. Either way, ain't no bill attached to 'em these days and if there's one out there, I'll find it."

She admires the determination in his eyes, lips twitching into a smile. "Rick will help you. I know he will."

"Best I go find officer goody-two-shoes and company, then." He agrees. "Look after my girl for me."

She nods. "That goes without saying."

"I love you, baby." He tells me, which is how I know I done messed up. Takes a lot for him to randomly tell me he loves me, and I guess all that talk last night about giving up was enough. He even places another kiss to my cheek, pinching it after. "I'll see you later."

"I'm sorry, Dad." I mutter.

"I know." He understands I can't help what's happening to me, or how I feel. "I'm gonna get whatchu you need. It's gonna be alright."

I'm not quite sure what I need, but at least the adults seem to know. At least some part of me can be saved.

After he leaves to put my bedding back in our camp, I climb back into my seat and watch the blue truck bumble down the drive and eventually, through the trees. Dale encourages me to finish off my soup in that annoying way my Dad always does, but I only eat a spoonful or two before my stomach shrivels distastefully and he tells me I've tried enough for this morning, so I take to curling up and staring at the fire.

I know if Shane was alive to see what he did to me, he'd be that word Lori likes to say, appalled. He never wanted to hurt me.

A hearing aid. It's one of them things I've never had to think about until now. If I had to go back a couple months and tell seven-year-old Harley, with her long, straight hair and chubby cheeks and bright, green eyes, that I look like a boy, got half an ear, and need a hearing aid, I think she'd hit me upside the head for being a liar. But I know now that you gotta be ready for anythin', like dead people in barns and a last-minute gunshot, and now, I guess, the need for a hearing aid. I have to try squash that feeling of shame. It ain't good for me, but it's always there.

I almost make myself chuckle imagining Carl tryna make being half-deaf badass. He's so relentlessly supportive. They all are.

It's too bad, then, that I still feel this way. This numb and hollowed out, alive but-also-dead way.

The way Carol must feel, and maybe the way Dad felt after Momma died.

"Thank you." Maggie tells Lori and Jacqui in the kitchen, as I stand in front of the fireplace in the next room over. "This is nice of y'all."

I see what Glenn was talkin' about now, about Maggie's great grandfather lookin' like a bald Georgie Washington. He's sitting all proper and important-like inside a photo frame on the mantle, like all people from forever ago do. But there's also newer photos, ones with color, like Maggie and Beth as little girls, posing with horse riding trophies and smiling together at old Thanksgivings and Christmases. I feel happy just looking at them. Baby photos, kind-looking people, school photos. We never knew the Greenes before, but I feel like now I might.

"We just thought you could use some help." Lori replies. "It's been a difficult time for all of us, especially Harley and Beth."

"I appreciate it. Sharin' your supplies, that means a lot these days. You wouldn't mind helpin' me toss it all together will you?"

"Not at all." Jacqui pokes her head around the arch and calls out, "Harley, you wanna come help Maggie finish cooking?"

With a little flinch, I turn to face the three women, remembering why we came here in the first place. We had some tinned vegetables and whatever else left over from breakfast, and Lori thought we'd offer them to Maggie, who's in the middle of cooking a meal for Beth.

"I guess." I hum as I head into the kitchen. It ain't like I got anything better to do. "What're you makin'?"

"Potato soup." Maggie pulls a few bowls from the worn cabinets with a smile. "Well, veggie soup, now."

"Hopefully Beth will feel a little better after a warm breakfast." Lori muses. "It always helped me."

All their words are muffled, as if I'm underwater and they aren't, but I can still just about make out what they're saying.

When Maggie places the bowls on the counter and sees me peering over the ledge, she chuckles. "Let me grab you a stool, huh?"

She grabs a mini wooden step-ladder leaning against the pantry, pulls it open, and sets it down for me. I step onto the lowest rung. She fills a bowl with water from the faucet and slides it in front of me, instructing me to how to rinse off the fat, muddy potatoes and lay them on the dry rag afterwards. It's an easy, mindless task. I get to work while they start slicing up the vegetables and opening the tins. 

As Maggie scrapes carrot into the pot, she jokes, "I been makin' so much soup recently I think I forgot how to make anything else."

"Good thing we've taken a liking, then." Jacqui smiles. "I've never tasted a tater soup good as y'all Greenes'. You know your stuff."

Feels like I'm back at the quarry again, helping prepare our next meal from whatever scraps we had, listening to the women gossip.

"Pssh. I'm tellin' you, as kids, Beth and I loathed the day Wednesday came around and Momma'd make her famous potato soup." She scoffs, grinning at old memories. "She always put too much salt in, said it was good for us. But all it was good for was makin' us barf."

Lori makes a sassy face. "I'm taking it the recipe's been tweaked a little since then."

Maggie smirks. "Wouldn't be eatin' it if it hadn't."

"Must've been nice, growing up with food on the table that's straight from your garden."

"Yeah, it was. Fresh peaches and apples to take to school, home-made bread and the like. We've always lived this way."

"Pretty perfect, if you ask me." Jacqui agrees. "Me and my fiancé were always eatin' take away all the time. God, I miss it sometimes."

"A nice greasy burger sounds so good right now." Lori moans, like she can almost taste it. "Oh, and some curly fries on the side."

They all laugh. It's a little funny. I remember her back in the beginning, braggin' about how her family never ate fast food. Now look at her.

As the conversation drifts to more boring things, I find myself thinking about Beth again. We sure grew up different, but we got broken the same way, at the same time. We clearly been thinking about the same things. She was just brave enough to actually pick up a knife and do something about it. I wonder if she knows now her Momma and step-brother been dead a long time, that they weren't sick at all, and were just bodies needed mourning. The Greenes were a little late to that, but it's like Meemaw used to say, better late than never.

I wonder if Beth regrets what she did. She could be dead right now, in a mound of dirt right next to her Momma.

When I was littler, I used to think Dad could read my mind when I was thinkin' unsavoury things like this, and that he'd give me in trouble right away. I thought that's how it worked with adults and kids, but it ain't. I can think whatever I want and it's safe inside my head.

The potatoes get peeled and diced and thrown into the soup like everything else, and then my new job is to help wash dishes.

When we're down to the last few, Maggie says I should take the bowl of soup up to Beth, 'cause they've got this handled.

"Sure." I agree before hopping down, wondering why my heart's beating so fast all of a sudden.

The door to Beth's bedroom creaks open.

I don't bother waiting for her to give me permission to come in. I just creep in all on my own, because from what I've heard, she hasn't talked all day. Her room is exactly like I would'a guessed. Like something out a trendy teenager's magazine, with a nice white desk covered in perfume bottles and hair clips and crumpled paper and books, blonde pop star posters stuck to the walls, a fluffy, cutesy rug, a teddy bear thrown on the lounge chair sitting by the window. Even the Mp3 player Maggie was telling me about, laying forgotten on the floor.

I carefully set the hot bowl on her nightstand, but something keeps me curious, and I don't turn to leave just yet.

Beth's staring at the wall like they said. Not out the window or anything. Just at the wall. I can't imagine her humming sweetly and letting me borrow one of her shirts, giggling at something I said from the other side of the bathroom door. She looks like a totally different girl.

"I went into shock too, yesterday." I randomly muse. "Or at least that's what Rick said. He's the one with the cowboy hat."

I think I might still be in shock. I'm talking and walking around, but inside, I feel like whatever statue Beth's turned into.

"I ain't sure if anyone's told you about it, but you prolly heard the screamin'. The man my Daddy stabbed, Shane, he took me away. We got pretty far. Sometimes I think about what would'a happened if we got even further, but... he was meant to die. Some people just are."

At that, she breaks her gaze away from that spot on the wall and looks me right in the eye. "Do you think I'm one of those people?"

"I... I ain't smart enough to know." I say honestly, before an awkward pause takes over. "'Cause I was only in grade two, y'know."

Carl seemed to find that funny when I first told him, but Beth just looks uninterested.

"And you?" She hides her bandaged wrists under the covers when she catches me looking. "What're you meant for? Dyin', or somethin' else?"

"I think, um... All I'm meant for is suckin' up hurt." I confess. "Like, there's all this bad in the world, and when there's nobody left for it to go to, it goes to me. Maybe I'm just unlucky. Maybe I done somethin' wrong. That's how life is, my Daddy says. So if that's the 'something else', I think I'd rather just be the type meant for dyin'. That's what my Momma did. She was in pain, and then one day... She wasn't."

"She killed herself," Beth says as fact.

"Yeah." I mutter, feeling the weight of the locket crush down on my chest as I take a seat on the edge of the bed. "She did."

"Was she the sort meant for dyin'?"

"No. She weren't." That much, I'm sure of. "She was just meant to be my Momma."

Beth's pretty eyes gloss over as she says very dully, "Our Mom's dead, too. Right before I thought I was about to die, I imagined what she'd think of me when we'd meet in heaven. She'd be ashamed, I know. Somehow, that was so much worse than the thought of going to Hell."

"Well, maybe your God made sure you didn't die." I guess, hoping it's comforting. "Maybe he wants you to live for everybody else."

A tear beads up on her waterline before sliding down her pale cheek. "I just don't know what to do. I think I'm ashamed, too."

"My Dad says you just gotta be stronger, but I don't know how." I wish I did. "I'm sorry. I'd tell you if I did."

"It's okay." With a sniff, she sends me a tiny smile. "You know, you're kind. I can just tell."

That makes me smile back. Something about my rugged hair, my mean face, my missing ear must still be soft like it was before.

Author's Note.

Sorry for the longer than usual wait between chapters! I've been dealing with intense writer's block recently so it just took me a while to get this out, but I'm pushing through!

I hope you're ready for a familiar face to return next chapter! ;)

PS. I wanted to thank you all for the touching dms and messages I've received recently, both on here and on ao3. It's still so mind blowing to me that there are so many people out there who hold a special place in their heart for this story just like I do. I'm so grateful for you all :) 💙

[sun-spark]

I have a very simple thought abut Theo/Brett + Liam, whether as a threesome or just one of them with Liam:

Theo - He and Liam would have a lot to work on, no doubt, and it wouldn’t be easy. But they’re both stubborn and love each other, so they’ get there come hell or high water. They have their emotional crises (particularly Theo) and they fight, but that’s how they work. They’ll settle after awhile. KEY: Their fights and crises revolve around them taking care of each other, even if that means fighting. The focus is healing.

Brett - I think it would be harder for Liam to adjust with Brett, and - honestly hopefully - for Brett to adjust too. (Boy should need some personal growth tbh). I’d expect just as many emotional crises and fights, though more verbal than physical ones. KEY: Trouble with Brett would mean Liam withdrawing and putting up walls.

Why?

Liam and Theo were practically inseparable - whether they liked it or not - during the ghost riders and again - much more happily - during the anukite. Theo did a sh*t ton of damage, but Liam was there.

- He saw a snapshot of the decade of torture and conditioning Theo went through when the Doctors took him and Hayden.

- He brought him back from Hell (and deals with Theo’s night terrors)

- Wether he knows what was in Theo’s hell or not, he witnessed first hand the effects it had/has.

- He and Theo were joined at the hip during the ghost riders, so he saw first hand Theo’s very quiet crisis of realizing he actually cares about someone else and wanting to keep them safe.

- They were together again during the anukite and Monroe mess. Theo kept him safe, grounded him, and kept others safe from him.

Liam witnessed and experienced first hand Theo changing and trying to be a better person. By the time they would have gotten together (late show/post-show) he would have been there for everything post-hell and post-doctors. There was a long process of Liam learning to trust Theo and Theo learning how to care.

This isn’t how it went down with Brett.

- Brett was the ringleader in actively kidnapping and abusing a freshman - a 14/15 year-old.

- The trauma he caused affects Liam similarly to the berserkers and it’s obvious from the zoo episode that Liam hasn’t worked through it.

- This abuse may be what triggered the massive flare of his IED that led to him destroying a car and being expelled.

- From the very first we see that Brett really has not changed since Liam switched schools and continues to taunt and try to hurt him.

- Brett does stop this behavior, but Liam wasn’t there.

Liam was not there to witness Brett change, however much or little that he did change. He never knows why Brett abuses him, he does not see Brett become a better person. While it seems that Liam does care about Brett during the Monroe storyline and is deeply wounded by his and Lori’s deaths (ret-con that in the case of a post-show relationship), Brett does not earn this in any way/does very little to earn this.

Liam witnessed Theo change and actively helped him learn how to care for someone.

Liam did NOT witness this with Brett.

So I think a relationship including Brett would lead to Brett accidentally triggering Liam’s trauma from the abuse he caused, several times. Maybe this would cause a lot of fights, but personally, I think Liam would shut himself off from Brett whenever it happened. He doesn’t want to hurt Brett, but dear f*cking g-d we saw what happened to Liam at the zoo. If it’s threesome, he would probably rely heavily on Theo for comfort instead of letting Brett try to help him.

[fangirlstorycreator]

Daryl Dixon X Reader

Context: Forbidden Romance! You belong to Shane, but your heart lies with Daryl...💚 Part 2/3

"Damn girl! Your a good shot!" "Well, I've been told I've always had a good aim" "Oh yeh? From who?" "Well I was in a gun club a few years back, and I was hitting bullseyes nearly every shot" "You ain't lyin! You've damn near gone through every glass bottle we had on that fence" "So did you" "Yeh, but noone else in this group can use my crossbow as well as me, I'm impressed" "Is that a compliment Daryl?"

He tries to hide his little blush, he pretended to brush it off. "Yeh-well-Lets see if you can hit the one in the far end" You just giggle, you knew you got to him. You and Daryl had been doing this all morning, spending time shooting and chatting, it was lovely. The sound of a car coming back up the driveway made you and Daryl turn to watch, it was Rick and Shane...they were back. But in the back seat....was that Randall? Why wasn't he dropped off? And why do Rick and Shane look all bloodied up? Oh sh#t it looks like they've gotten into a fight while they were out. Rick and Shane lead Randall into the wood shed, and lock him in there before making their way up to the house. You and Daryl both looked as confused as eachother. "Ya'll stay hear, I'll be right back alright?" "Ok" you say as Daryl heads up to the house. Rick and Shane were close, hopefully nothing too serious went down between them....and hopefully it wasn't anything to do with you or Lori. The afternoon went by quick, and when Daryl came back he told you what was happening, and that Randall may know how to get his group hear, which was dangerous.

So he was going to be kept in the wood shed until everyone decides what to do. Your dad and family knew and so did the group, but to be honest that wasn't the most important thing on your mind. You heard nothing back from Rick or Lori about what happened with him and Shane. Or weather Shane listened, and was going to keep his distance or not. Rick was too busy, so you just hoped Shane was busy too. You had walked to the well to grab some water, when Daryl had driven up to you on his impressive moterbike. "Hey! Yah wanna come take a ride with me?" "Really? Why?" "You look like you could use the distraction. Come on, what do yah say?" You felt your chest fill with a light feeling, you hadn't felt this for a long time. Why not? You run up to him smiling, and sit behind him on the bike, wrapping your arms around his waist. The vibrations shake you all over as he revs up the engine, then drives towards the road and on down the long roads away from the farm. It was a beautiful day to go for a ride, the sun was bright, the breeze was warm, and the trees were a lovely dark green colour. Daryl was in his element out hear on his bike, like he was born for it. His body was warm, it was a comfort as you held onto him, you didn't care why he asked you out for a drive, you were just happy he did.

About 20 minutes later, he parks up next to a load of abandoned cars on the side of the road. He helps you off the bike and you follow him to the cars. "Why are we hear Daryl? You think there's some supplies?" "Nope" he says before tossing you a small black tool kit, and kneeling down infront of the first car he sees. "I'm gunna teach you how to hot wire a car" "Really?" "Yeh, it's a valuable skill to learn. It'll help you if y'all ever stuck" "That's uhh...very sweet of you to teach me" "It ain't sweet....it's....for survival!" "Yeh...and just one more question, who else have you taught this skill too?" "Uhhh....just you I guess" "Mhhmm..." "Anyway, let's forget that. Come hear and I'll show you what to do" It was quite cute how he's only teaching you, or at least first...you thought he was acting really nice....he is....really nice....were you starting to fall for Daryl? He spent the next two hours talking you through the process, and you were able to hot wire 3/4 cars. It was so easy thanks to Daryl, there was even a moment where you made him chuckle. You knew a laugh wasn't a sure thing, but a chuckle was the closest thing, it was a wonderful sound. He suggested you drive a car back and tell the others about the rest, more cars could mean safer travel, and you agreed. But he didn't head to his bike yet, he lingered...like he doesn't want to go back yet.

"Daryl? Are you ok?" "I'm fine..." "Then why are you so quiet?" "It's nothin....it's nothin...." He looks a little nervous, his eyes dart between your eyes and your lips, but when he sees you notice that, he steps away and faces the cars instead on you. Was he?....were you making him nervous? And did he look at your lips for a reason? You felt so calm around him, and you won't lie to yourself, you were attracted to him.

Slowly, you step a little closer to him, he turns to face you, looking so lost. "I....I'm sorry" "For what Daryl?" "For...for just being me, I....I have no idea what I'm doin, and..." "Don't apologise for being yourself Daryl....I like who you are" "I like who you are too, I mean...I like...you...but I have no idea how to..." The poor guy looks flustered, you wanted to help ease his tention. Taking another step closer, your right infront of him now, and your hand gently takes his, stroking your thumb over his knuckles. He looks down at your hands touching, like he's trying to avoid your gase, and that's ok, he wasn't used to this, it was obvious. So you slowly, and gently reach your other hand up to his face and cup his cheek so he's looking at you, his eyes were beautiful, and he was so handsome. Both your voices are almost whispers, especially now you were so close. "Uhh...Y/N" "Yes?" "I...I ain't used to this kind of thing...." "It's ok...I can show you...but only if you want too....." He nods, but you want to be sure. "Tell me Daryl" "......Show me....." Gently leaning in closer to his lips, his eyes close and yours flutter shut as the feel of Daryl's lips finaly meet yours in a feather like touch. You wanted to be slow, gentle with him, and you could sence he wanted that to. The moment you started kissing him, his body became less tense, and his fingers interlocked with your hand he was holding. He was growing more and more comfortable with you. His lips were so soft, so inviting, and his kiss was beautiful. He melted into your touch, even moving both his hands to your hips and holding you closer to him.

You could feel his heartbeat rise each second he kissed you back, but once you both got into a rhythm, he kissed you like nothing else in the world matters. He spends so much time helping others, he's always tence, always on edge and his mind never stops. He never stops, but he finaly is now, it's been so long since he's been able to actualy relax, that it feels almost euphoric for him. His hand snakes it's way up to your hair, tangling it into the back of your scalp, deepening the kiss. You didn't want to make him uncomfortable, he was a nervous man, and you didn't want to push him. So the fact that he made that little move, it shows he feels calm around you. Yours and his lips moved together in perfect harmony, like a dance, while taking in his deep scent of cut grass and engine oil. It was earthy, but it was him. His breath was quickening, he was feeling a little overwhelmed with the intensity. You knew he wasn't used to it, so slowly you move back, breaking the kiss, Daryl was breathless, more than you. He didn't let you go, he liked having you this close, but you could tell that kiss was quite a lot for him to experience. Either it's been too long, or he hadn't been kissed like that before. No matter what it was, you weren't going to push him. "I....I won't lie to yah...I've tried to imagine what it would be like to kiss you Y/N..." "You've imagined this?" "Kinda....I never expected it to be better..." You smile warmly at him, tucking a strand of his hair behind his ear.

"It's been....it's been a while since....I'm sorry" "No, don't apologise Daryl. I could tell, it's ok, I promise" "How did you know to-" "Pull away?....because I could sence it in you Daryl. I like to think I understand you now. Understand your personality, your boundaries, your needs. And I didn't want you to feel like I was pushing you" "You didn't...not at all...was...was it ok?" "Daryl...I've never been kissed like that before. It was amazing" "Amazingly bad?" "No stupid! (giggle)....Daryl, your a beautiful kisser" He scoffs, blushing slightly. "I think ya'll need your head checked" You laugh, he smiles hearing your laugh, it was like music to him. "What does this moment mean for us Daryl?" "Y/N, I've thought about you like this for a long time, and I won't lie to yah, I did when you told me about Shane" "Oh! Is that why you got so angry?" "Pretty much yeh, but he still doesn't deserve to treat you like that. Anyway...honestly, I don't know what this means. I do wanna be around you...I wanna...I mean this was-" "I understand Daryl. Look, I'm not going to ask if you want to be 'boyfriend and girlfriend' but if you want to continue.." You say as you point to him and you "This. I'm happy with that. And we can take our time with whatever you want to do, whatever you want to try. I'm happy just being close to you, you make me feel something I've not felt in years" "What's that? Annoyed?" You scoff "No Daryl....safe..." His eyes suddenly change, from deep thought to suprise, he certainly wasn't expecting that.

He couldn't help but make a little smile. He takes your hand in his, and stands closer to you. "It's like you understand what I'm like without me even telling you. It's...nice. Fuckin weird! But...nice. I'd like to give this a go, takin it slow with you" "Are you sure?" "Yeh, I won't lie to yah, I'm not really as 'physical' as other guys. And I know what you had with Shane was just f#ckin" "Life isn't just about s#x" His quirky little corner of the mouth smile is a wonderful sight to you, like seeing a sunrise for the first time. "We've gotta get back now, ya'll alright drivin the car" "Hell yeh! That's a damn good car, just try and stop me" He chuckles as he heads towards his bike. You were so happy with what had happened today between you and Daryl, nothing else seemed to matter after having the memory of his lips in your mind, he really was the best kiss you've ever had. So gentle, so tender, yet made you feel like you were truly wanted, alive. Driving back, you and Daryl arrive with the bike and new car, then proceed to tell Dale and the others that's there's a new vehicle, aswell as some others where you and Daryl had just come from, that seemed to put them all in a happy mood. For the next few days, things went on as normal, for the farm at least. You and Daryl had been hanging out more and more, mostly little hidden moments away from everyone else, and there were a few times he even ventured to the house and slept in the same bedroom as you, instead of his tent. He was starting to get more and more comfortable around you, and it felt like you had a true connection with him. Yes he was still grumpy sometimes, and answered back to lots of people like normal, but that was lessening with you. He'd argue with you on occasion, but that's been when it's about your safety, and he was adamant he was going to protect you. During all this time, Rick and Shane were still arguing with their group about what to do with Randall, and he was still locked up in the shed. Why was this still going on? And more importantly, you noticed Shane seemed to have gotten more concerning. He'd look at you from a far distance, just stare with his cold eyes, you can't deny it made you feel nervous. You still didn't know what Rick said to him, or if he even listened.

One evening, something bad happened on the farm. Dale was out in the cow area, when a walker attacked him, making him scream for his life. You, Daryl, Rick and a few others ran to him, in hopes you could save him, but it was too late. The walker was put down...but Dale was in a lot of pain, and was in danger of d#ing a very painfull way. Rick tried to put him out of his misery, but he couldn't do it. Daryl, putting a hand on Rick's shoulder, decided to do it instead. Poor Daryl looked heartbroken as he pointed the gun to Dale's head, but Dale wanted this, even moving his head closer to the gun...he understood. "I'm sorry brother" Daryl muttered...before the bullet fired...k#lling Dale instantly.

Everyone there was utterly distraught, Carl and Lori were holding eachother, Rick paced back and forth with guilt, and Daryl was trying to face away from the group and hide his tears. You pull him in for a hug, and he holds onto you like you were about to disappear, burying his face in your shoulder to mask the tears pouring out of him. This was something he hated, something he felt so bad for, but he knew, everyone knew, it was the right decision. T dog, Daryl, Rick and your dad Hershal moved Dale's body somewhere safe that night so he could be buried the next morning, while you and everyone else made your ways up to the house.

Everyone had gone to sleep, you were just lying in bed, tossing and turning, debating on weather to go and find Daryl to make sure he was ok. When your thoughts were suddenly cut off by a knocking at the door. Like a flash, you jumped out of bed and opened it, to find Daryl standing there, looking utterly defeated. No words were exchanged, his eyes were red raw, his expression showing sadness, he had been through so much. You opened your arms for him, and he walked into them instantly. Again, his hold on you was like a lock, he had lost someone who was like family to him, and he really needed some comfort. "Can I stay hear with yah tonight?" "Of course Daryl, come on" Taking him by the hand, you pull him onto the bed and snuggle down in the quilt with him, getting you both nice and comfy. You were lead on your back and Daryl cuddled up with his arms around your body, and his head resting on your chest. For someone who was a grump most of the time, he was a good cuddler. Holding him close, your hand started running through his hair and gently stroking his face, easing him into a calmer state.

"I....I actually shot Dale....it was Dale....he was..." "Shh, I know Daryl. You did the right thing. He was suffering and....and you helped him" "I killed him....I f#ckin killed him" "No Daryl, the walker did that. You stoped him suffering anymore than he had too" "Yah really think so?" "Of course I do. This world isn't like it used to be, there's danger out there every single day, and walkers are monsters who we can't seem to be rid of yet. I could see in Dale's eyes, he was glad you put him out of pain, Daryl. I know you must feel so much guilt right now, but I promise, it will get easier. And Dale's no longer scared or in pain anymore" Daryl nods against your chest, he agrees, but you know that guilt is still weighing him down. All you can do it hold him, through everything, and be as supportive as you can.

That night, he fell asleep in your arms, and you shortly after. The next morning, everyone gathered around to say goodbye to Dale as he was buried, it was heartbreaking. Rick announced that we should follow by Dale's example, and be more like him. That's why, after the funeral, Rick decided not to kill Randall, and set him free somewhere, just like Dale had suggested. Everyone tried to go about their normal routine after saying goodbye to Dale, that included you at the back end of the house trying to nail up some wooden planks on the windows. You could never be to careful if there were any more walkers close by. As you reached for another plank, someone grabbed your wrist and pulled you back, a scream was going to break out of you, but a large mans hand clamped over your mouth as he pins you against the house walls. "Hey there little lady" It was Shane! And he had dark eyes, like he was possessed. You struggled against his grip, but just about managed to kick him square in the balls. "Ghah! F#ck!" He shouted as he fell backwards onto the grass, giving you just enough time to pick up your machete. "What the fuck do you think your doing?!" "Hey hey...there's no need to be like that" He says as he stands back up and dusts off his trousers. "Oh really? I shouldn't be like that? Well hears a little lesson for you Shane! Sneaking up on a woman, grabbing her and frightening her, is not something your going to get a F#CKING good reaction too!" "Incase you haven't noticed, I dont care...now why don't you put down the weapon-woh woh woh!" He says as you get into a fighting stance. "Oh sweetheart....I just wanted to talk..." "Call me that again and I'll gut you!" "Oohhh, such a fire. I can see why your playing hard to get" "Hard to get? What the hell makes you think I want you back?!" "Of course you do, you can't resist me, you know it" "You lied to me! Pushed me! Left me on my own in a walker infested area, and you seriously think I wanna go back to you?! Your f#cking insane!" He cracks his neck from side to side, anger building in his eyes. "Oh come on now sweetness, you know your MY property, and I'm the only one who's strong enough to protect everyone hear. I know you miss this d#ck. Let me loosen you up there, come on you know you want it-" He reaches for your shirt as you say that, but you slice at him, cutting at his chest in a long strike, leaving a decent cut across his bicep.

He staggers back, holding his chest, there isn't too much blood, but enough to make a point. "This is your final warning Shane....you may not be a walker....but if you EVER touch me again....I won't hesitate to kill you" Sniggering at your comment, he gives you a menacing stare.

"That's cute, how you think you can actualy take me. It's a lucky situation now Y/N, it's daylight, people could see us. But I promise you....if you don't be a good girl and do as I say, I might just make a visit to your room tonight....put my duct tape to good use to shut you up. Take you faaaaar away from hear and show you who's really in charge...who knows...I may not even bring you back....leave you to the walkers.....and allll of it would be YOUR fault" In the corner of your eye, you see Lori walking past, and she spots you both, making Shane back away from you, pretending like he wasn't just threatening you. But you still had your weapon pointed at him. Whispering to you, he says "Just think about it..." Then he walks away, chuckling under his breath. Still holding your weapon up in your hand, your body begins to shake, the fear hits you like a tone of bricks and tears start to stream from your eyes as you collapse to the ground in panic. Lori runs over to you within seconds, seeing how scared you were, unable to breath properly. "Honey! What happened?! What did Shane do?!"

You can't answer, it's just crying and gasping noises coming out. You couldn't even hear Lori's voice, the sound of your pounding heart was echoing through your head. "RICK! RICK!" Lori shouts out, Rick is by yours and Lori's side within seconds, closely followed by Daryl, aiming his crossbow. Rick sees your panicked state and is by your side, just as Daryl sees you too. Dropping his crossbow, he runs to you too.

Rick asked "Lori, what happened?!" "I don't know! I walked around hear and-Shane was talking to her, she-she looked scared! She had her machete pointed to him!" Daryl reaches for your hand. "Y/N! Can yah hear me?! Look at me ok? Look at me!" Daryl's voice seems to cut through the pounding of your heartbeat, looking at him with tears in your eyes, he starts to show you how to breath, trying to help you calm down. "Just watch me ok? In...and out. In...and out. Come on, you can do it, do it with me" His calm encouragement is helping you, and breathing along with him is letting you catch your breath again. He continues, not doing anything else, just getting you to a better place. "That's great Y/N....ok....can you speak now?" You nod. Rick asks "What happened Y/N? What did Shane do?" "He-he-" "Just take your time now" Taking another breath, you start to speak again. "I-I was boarding- boarding up this window, when Shane-he came and-he.....grabbed me. Put his hand over my mouth. He frightened me. I-I kicked him in the balls and-and got my knife out....I don't know what he was doing"

Daryl's hand gently squeezed yours, as Lori brushes strand of hair out of your face. "It's ok honey, your doing great" Lori says kindly. "He...he tried to convince me that I wanted to get back with him. I said no, but he wouldn't listen. He said I was his property" The look on Daryl's face, you've never seen this kind of anger. "I told him-I would never go back to him. But he said he knew I wanted it....he tried....he tried to take my shirt...but I cut him across the chest! I had to! He-he didn't listen to me! He didn't stop!" "Hey hey, it's alright" Rick said. "You were protecting yourself, it's alright" Daryl wiped some of your tears away, then held your hand again, not leaving your side for a second. "But it was when....when I did that...he said I need to go back to him... or he'd come to my room tonight....(sobbing) use his duct tape and-" "Oh ok ok, Shhh" Daryl says in a sweet way, taking you into his arms and holds you as you cry. Rick and Lori stand, looking at eachotner. "Rick, I told you he was a danger" "You think I don't know that? I told you we nearly killed eachother the other day when we went to take Randall-" "Look at what hes done Rick!" Lori says pointing to you. "Y/N does not deserve this! Noone deserves to be threatened and scared in there own home! He is dangerous Rick!" Daryl looks up at Rick, pure rage in his eyes. "Let me kill him" "Daryl, no-" "I don't care if he's your friend Rick! I'll kill that son' bitch with my bare hands if I have to!"

"No Daryl! I'm gunna stop-" Rick is suddenly cut off by T dog running and shouting to him. "Guys! It's Randall! He got out!" Rick instantly runs with T dog, Daryl doesn't move and neither does Lori. "Daryl, let's take her inside" "Yah got it" Daryl carefully helps you to your feet, and holds you close in his arms as all 3 of you walk to the front of the house. There is a big commotion there, Randall had somehow escaped, and everyone looked panicked. That's when the trees rustle from infront of them, and Shane bursts though, calling out to Rick. His nose was bloodied up, like he'd been in a fight. "Rick! Randall got the jump on me man! Took my gun! He's loose!" Rick asked Glenn and Daryl to come with him and Shane, this was a dangerous situation and he needed Daryl to track him. He didn't, however, let go of you. He couldn't. "I can't leave her Lori, not like this" Rick calls after Daryl again, but Daryl shakes his head. Rick runs up to him. "Daryl, I need you!" "And Y/N needs me! You've seen what Shane did to her, and you just wanna run off into the woods with him at the drop of a hat?!" "Randall is gone!" "And good riddance to the little pr#ck!"

Lori chimes in "Alright alright you guys! Enough!" She gently takes your hand in hers. "Daryl, I'll stay with her. I'll keep her safe hear" "I.....alright...." Rick runs back to Shane, T dog and Glenn, but Daryl sweetly takes your face in his hands, wiping away what's left of your tears with his thumb. "Alright, I'll be right back, I promise yah. You gonna be ok?" "I'll be alright...please just be careful" "I'll be fine, I'll be back as soon as I can. And there ain't no way that b#stard is comin back near yah, or anyone else. He's f#cked with you and everyone for too long" Rick shouts to Daryl from across the field, Daryl groans, then smiles at you before giving you a quick and sweet kiss. "I'll be back soon" He said before running in the opposite direction, towards the others and into the woods to search for Randall.

Lori takes you inside and Carol sits with you both, seeing if your ok. Lori tells her what happened, and where the others have gone. Luckily by this time, you had calmed down, and now were more worried about Daryl and the others. God knows what Shane is capable of, and what really happened with him and Randall. When he shouted that Randall managed to fight HIM off, it didn't seem true to you. Shane was a fighter, a police officer, one small guy couldn't have done that to him, could he? The night drew in quickly, and everyone was just doing their own thing inside the house, waiting for the others to come back. You were stood by the window, looking out for any sign of signal the others could possible do. That's when you hear a gun shot in the distance, it sounded a fair distance away, but you definitely heard it. You called Carol and Maggie over, told them about the gun shot and how you were worried something was going wrong. A few minutes later, another gun shot! What was happening? You ran outside to see if you could see or hear anything that might help you, and that's where Daryl and T dog came running up. "Daryl!" You shout in relief as you run to him. He takes you into his arm for a tight hug. "Are you both ok? Who shot their gun?" "What're you talkin bout? We didn't shoot nothin" "Daryl's right, but we did find Randall" You raise an eyebrow. "Is he dead?" "Yeh, but the strange thing is...he wasn't bit. His neck was snapped, so I have no idea why that son' b#tch turned" "You guys better come inside and tell the others, they need to know" T dog runs inside to talk to the others, you follow close behind, but Daryl stops you and pulls you aside for a moment. "Are you alright? Did Lori look after you?" "I'm ok Daryl, honestly. I was more worried about you to tell you the truth"

"Ain't nothin I can't handle. But seriously, you doin alright?" He asks, hoding your hand in his. "Yes, I promise Daryl, I'm fine. Did you see what happened to Rick and Shane?" "We all split up, I didn't wanna. I wanted to kick the sh#t out of that f#cker!" "Your not the only one. I'm guessing it was one of them who fired their gun. There's noone else out there" "It must have been" "Daryl?" "Yeh?" "Were you aware....you did kiss me earlier...right infront of Lori" "Yeh, I was aware. I was there after all" "I'm just suprised you did. I didn't know if you were ready to let everyone know about us yet" "To be honest, I don't really care who knows or what everyone else thinks. I wanted to kiss yah, so I did. I won't lie, if someone would have told me when this whole sh#t show started, that I'd actualy fall for someone, I'd probably tell e'm to shut the f#ck up" "And now?" "Now?....Damn girl your stuck in my head wherever the f#ck I go....and it ain't a bad thing" "That's very sweet of you to say Daryl" "I wasn't tryin' to be sweet, just bein' honest" "I know....should we go insi-" Your suddenly cut off by the sight infront of you. Behind Daryl, you can see lots and lots of walkers, heading straight towards the house across the field. "What? What is it-oh shit!"

You and Daryl run inside and tell everyone what's going on, giving them all a chance to get to their guns and other weapons. This group of walkers was big, VERY big! And who knows what would happen by the end of this night....if there is an end to it....

[safehavenedits]

[caloriecounter-ibarelyknowher]

I wish I had a spare body that I could wreck

[whateverisbeautiful]

🀄️reflecting on richonne

5 words in Season 5 help make it crystal clear that Rick viewed Michonne as a wife by that point. In this dissertation I will…lol but for real. 

All of Season 5 is a really interesting exploration of Rick’s psyche. But especially the back half in ASZ as he struggled to bridge the gap between who he was and who he’d become. Since he couldn’t quite merge the two at first, he regressed, reverting to old ways and an old type of woman that wasn’t right for him. But even with that unnecessary owl lady storyline, Rick was still operating like Michonne was his love (even beyond the adorable elevator looks he still always gave her) and he eagerly wanted to provide for her. 

Most telling is in ASZ in 5.12 when Rick tells Daryl how he and Lori used to drive through neighborhoods like this “thinking ‘one day’…” and Daryl says “Well here we are.” Then Carl later says how this is the kind of place Lori wanted for them. This is also the place Michonne really wanted for Carl and Judith and their family as well.  

Rick isn’t just trying to make up for not being able to save Lori with Jessie. This whole time, he’s also trying to give Michonne what he couldn’t give his past wife. 

Of course Rick wants a safe place for everyone, but several of his actions show that he’s trying to make this place work for Michonne specifically. There’s verbal confirmation imo, and it occurs during R&M’s s5 finale chat when Rick wakes up after she knocked him out. (And I absolutely love so much about this post-knockout scene. I could go on and on about it but I’ll try and stay focused lol)

When Rick tells Michonne he couldn’t tell her about the gun, she says “Nah you couldn’t,” cuz she knows he knows he could tell her anything. And then Rick states those telling 5 words.

“Well you wanted this place.” 

That right there made it clear that Rick had placed Michonne in the wife category. His wife, Michonne, wants to live in a neighborhood like this. So he’s not waiting for “one day” anymore, he was going to do everything he could to get it for her right here and now, just not in the healthiest ways since he wasn’t well at the time. Just the way he says it too, it’s not as defensive as it could sound on paper. It sounds like a husband trying to say he’s been making these decisions in order to secure the home his wife believes in and because he values what she wants. 

Michonne soundly reminds him they had to stop being out there and very similar to Daryl in that previous scene, Rick says “Well we’re here.”  I’d say there’s definitely meant to be a parallel between that 5.12 scene and this one in 5.16, drawing the connection of Rick’s former and current wife. 

But one of many things I love about Rick and Michonne’s relationship is how Rick got to really learn that his love with Michonne is different in the best ways. That what he has with Michonne is a soul mate thing and healthier than what he’s had in the past. In his previous marriage, Rick seemed to feel like he had to be useful and be everything she wanted or else his level of care and love would be questioned. But Michonne understands him so entirely and so she doesn’t want this place more than she wants him and for him to be okay. 

All throughout season 5, Michonne was determined to find a home for her and her family and Rick was determined to give a home to her, both with Washington and ASZ. But what I love is at the end of the season, Rick got to see how he doesn’t have to not communicate and drive himself crazy trying to give her this place because as Michonne makes clear in the iconic “I’m Still With You” scene, home isn’t a place to her anymore. It’s a person. Home is him. 

And Michonne wasn’t just family to Rick at this point. In ways he didn’t even outright realize, she was his wife. She’s his home too. I adore the way Rick and Michonne were married before they knew it. And then when they did know it, their love story only got better and better.

These season 5 moments just further show that Rick and Michonne were always the one for each other. Always. 

[cultofdixon]

Fight for Yourself, Fight for Me

Daryl Dixon [PLATONIC] • They/Them Pronouns • You were always going to be your father’s little archer…even when all the responsibility for several lives rest on your shoulders • ANGST/SFW • TW: Anxiety Attacks / Nightmares / PTSD / Scars / Canon Violence / Illness / Injuries / SH Scars / Depression

Requested by: Anon

“Look at that” Lori smiles pointing out to Daryl the way Carl was trailing his kid around the campsite. “What yea think they’re talking about?”

“Anythin’ but the hell going on”

Y/N has always been like that. Talk about anything else BUT what was happening around them. To give people a sense of normalcy back but also for the kids.

“Wait so Batman has like. No superpowers at all? Just that his parents died and now he seeks revenge?”

“I wouldn’t really call it revenge. He never uses a gun. Never kills. Uses his gadgets to catch the bad guy and like. Shakes them down until they spoke” Y/N continues as they loaded up their hunting rifle which on cue made Daryl whistle for them. “Should find you some comics. Doubt it’ll be batman but hopefully something interesting”

Carl was about to ask them more when they started to head toward Daryl and Lori causing him to sprint over.

“Where are you going?”

“Y/N is going hunting with their dad. They’ll be back in a few days”

“Can I go?”

“No Carl. You need to stay here. Where it’s safe”

“But they get to go! They’re a kid—-“

“They are eighteen.” Daryl hands them back their pack as Carl continued to glare slightly. “They are my kid. But an adult to yea”

Y/N couldn’t help but notice the kid’s eagerness to go with them resulting in Daryl growing impatient.

“Y/N we gotta—-“

“I’ll meet yea by the tents, old man” Y/N states hearing him grumble as he left. “Carl you can’t come. Cuz you’ve got an important job here”

“What is it?”

“Hold down the fort. Dad and I are gonna get food, and the Atlanta group is out. Leaving only a few to keep an eye on everybody. Can I trust yea to keep the house afloat?”

Carl nods smiling as Y/N ruffles up his hair smiling themselves.

“Good. Be back in a few days, buddy”

It’s been two so far since they left to track down the deer Daryl had spotted tracks for a bit ago. Y/N followed shortly behind their father staring at their feet for the most part since it’s been a bit with no signs of the deer. They suddenly ran into Daryl when he stood still for a moment catching them off guard.

“I’m not playing statue in the middle of the woods, dad…”

“Did yea want a sibling?”

“That’s random” Y/N scoffs, stepping ahead of him to ready their aim and take the shot on the squirrel. “But no. I like being an only child…would’ve wanted more time with mom though”

“Mm. Me too, kid” Daryl watches their surrounding so they could pick up their catch. “You’re close with that Grimes kid”

“I wouldn’t really say talking about superheroes makes us close”

“You used to only talk to me about superheroes”

“Are you jealous of a child?” Y/N laughs a bit, even more when their dad groaned to the question.

“Nah. Just.” Daryl shrugs kneeling to check the faint tracks to see how long it’s been. “Little shit looks up to yea is all. Don’t want that going to your head”

“I don’t think it will…?”

“Listen. I don’t mean like what the cop is having. The savior complex shit. I’m talking the toll that raising kids can have on somebody” He admits as he picks himself up continuing to follow the tracks with his kid shortly behind him. “You care a lot. You’ve always have been that way…even for people who don’t deserve it. Like Uncle Merle. But I don’t want yea to forget about yourself. How you’re feeling will always matter, kid. I don’t want something terrible happening to make you forget that”

Y/N didn’t know what to reply to that with, but Daryl knew that they understood the best that they can.

Even when he watched their kid grow protective of the youngest Grimes. Then the youngest Greene.

He doesn’t want to lose them, or want them to lose themselves…

“Let’s go hunt” Daryl gestures with his eyes to outside the house the group was currently staying in after the barn burned. “We’ll be back soon”

“Can I come?” Carl tugs at Y/N’s jacket as they quickly shot it down with a new reason of having to keep an eye on his mother for her and the baby’s safety. They managed to get him to listen by giving him tasks that keep him there.

As they were heading out, Rick stopped Daryl talking to him about scavenging places as well as finding whatever meat they can get their hands on. He even tried to join them but Daryl drew his line clearly. He wanted to be alone with his kid, without any more drastic changes.

“I think Andrea could still be alive”

“Maybe” Y/N kicks a door open to one of the abandoned houses in their neighborhood. “She did almost kill you so, I’d let her back in but not with open arms”

“I’m still standing aren’t I?”

“She also gave a knife to Beth when she was thinking of killing herself.” They instantly went toward the kitchen to find any canned foods. “Might have to knock some sense into that son of a bitch before letting her back in. Hell. Not even my decision…everybody following Rick…”

“You’re allowed to share your thoughts, Y/N”

Y/N’s body tensed hearing such as they felt like anything they would say to Rick wouldn’t get anywhere. He and Daryl are one and the same when it comes to protecting their blood…but Rick making all the decisions made it hard to think for oneself.

“Rick won’t listen. He’s just protecting his kid”

“You’re protecting his kid and wife more than he is. You have them your blanket, your extra rations,…hell, saved that kid from walkers more than he did.” Daryl frowns watching Y/N take all the cans they can carry. “I’m looking out for yea, Y/N. I don’t want to lose my kid to somebody else’s short comings…”

“You’re not gonna lose me…I just wish things were different”

I just wish things were different

Y/N frowns watching Maggie stumble out of the prison in tears with a small baby in her embrace. They noticed Carl’s frozen state when he stepped out and how Rick fell apart upon hearing the news of his wife dying. They slowly approached the kid as he looks up at them with a blank expression that suddenly turned to silent tears rolling down his cheeks.

“C’mere kid” Y/N brought Carl into their embrace comforting him the best that they could. All he wanted was to cry for a moment in the comforts of someone who he knows he’ll be safe with.

Their dad’s declare about “not losing another” made everyone act on such. Daryl left with Maggie to get formula for the baby, Hershel checked her out with the help of Beth, the rest of the group took care of investigating the rest of the prison. Leaving Y/N to take care of Carl while Rick was indisposed.

“What was it like for you…”

“What?”

“When your mom died…”

Losing a parent tends to always feel like it just happened yesterday. Even if Y/N was ten when they lost her.

But for context.

Y/N wasn’t a mistake. Or planned really. Daryl hit it off with their mom who was a total stranger he met and asked out one day. First date hit it off to where the slim chance of getting pregnant did indeed happen. He was scared, of course. Didn’t want to be like his father. Didn’t want to be in the bullshit he’s in with Merle with a baby around. But she was ever so kind and patient that the 9 months they had gotten to know one another.

Then life slowly became all about Y/N and both of them were happy on such. Even Merle cleaned up most of his act to be able to spend time with the little one.

Their life was perfect in its own special way. Didn’t need much of anything besides their family.

Missing field trips meant spending time with Daryl at the garage he worked at

Weekends were always a new adventure to anywhere

Bad days were always met with cuddles from their mother

Bullies never bothered to mess with them when Uncle Merle was the one to pick up the kid

The list could go on…and last about ten years. One day Y/N was sat at the couch by both of their parents having a talk about what it means when someone gets really sick. Again, they were ten. Old enough to understand what being sick means, but still young enough to not believe that their mother was sick and one day wasn’t going to come home.

It was sudden. She just. Never came home. The only thing that came home were her belongings and a broken Daryl.

I can never forget the look in my dad’s eyes when he tried so hard to tell me without breaking Y/N frowns looking at Carl with their own pain resurfacing to that question. “One day she was here. The next…she was gone. It’s been years but I’ll always be sad about it. Your mom meant the world to you…the pain will be awful at first, but as life goes on, you’ll always remember the good things you had with your mom. That’s all that matters”

To be frank. Y/N never wanted to become a parent, and in the apocalypse that confirmed matters. They didn’t want to raise a child in a world that they could die at any given moment compared to the old world. Hell. They were still a kid in Daryl’s eyes, always…so when Lori died, this switch in them flipped and all that mattered…was making sure her kids were safe. Taken care of. Loved.

“Y/N coming back today?”

Daryl nods looking up at Carol and her offering of food she has just prepared. He’s been waiting at their spot all morning and was relieved none of the spawn came around to take their attention away. But he thought too soon on the matter when Carl came running over.

“They back yet?”

“Nope. Just waiting” Carol smiles noticing Daryl tense expression. “Hey, how about we go find that favorite blanket of theirs and get it to their watchtower?”

“But I—-“

“Come on. You know they’ll appreciate it more coming from you” Carol smiles directing Carl out of there which relaxed Daryl enough to have a good mood when seeing Y/N’s bike approach the gate and the Woodbury folks took care of opening it to let them in.

As Daryl got up from his spot, Y/N rolls up next to his bike putting the kickstand down before getting off and hugging their dad when he draws close.

“Run into Michonne?”

“Yeah, brought back some of the shit she found along with my findings” Y/N smiles setting their pack down on the bench he was sitting on previously to show him what they’ve got.

“You’re really spoiling them kids” Daryl laughs a bit finding things like books, comics for Carl, formula and baby blankets for Judith, a few clothes for Beth…at least they got canned foods amongst other things that benefit others. “Did yea find what yea needed?”

“No, but it’s cool” Y/N picked up their pack once more to carry it all inside. “There’s also arrows on the back of the bike” and with that last note they went to put everything away and give such to whoever they went out in the run for.

Soon Y/N found themselves on the top bunk of their place trying to rest as Beth laid on the bottom one reading one of her books keeping company.

“How’s Uhm. What’s his face?”

“Zach? We aren’t anythin’” Beth says in a hush whisper in mind of the baby sleeping in its makeshift cradle that was a laundry basket. “I don’t think he notices me”

“I wouldn’t wait for him to make a move. You really like the guy? Just be honest. Honesty doesn’t hurt” Y/N states as Beth rises from her place in the bunk closing the book a bit too loudly making the resident on the top bunk tense.

“Yknow what! Imma do it”

As Beth leaves, Judith started to sob from her spot making the exhausted Y/N rise from their bunk jumping down to the floor before picking up the little baby. They picked up the little baby sitting on the floor leaning against the bunk beds gently rocking the littlest Grimes.

Daryl went to check on them after giving them some time after returning. He stops at the gates finding Judith asleep on their chest as they were also fast asleep with their head back on the bed.

“Someone’s gotta take care of yea” He whispers taking the little baby from them returning the sleeping baby into the basket before carefully picking up his baby and laying them down in the bunk.

It’s been this way for months. Y/N taking trips out and returning with things everybody else needs or ask of them to get. But ultimately forgetting themselves in the mix. And especially the way they are protective over “their” kids that when the illness came through…Rick had carried their passed-out sick form to the cellblock.

When Daryl came back he heard about Y/N and haven’t left their side while they rested. He kept everyone out of their quarantine cell. Wouldn’t let anyone see them because they put everyone else above themselves and granted he should’ve done something sooner about it…but others hardly noticed their struggling.

“Yea ain’t allowed to die. Fuckin’ won’t have it. Told yea that when yer mom died.” Daryl frowns squeezing their hand hearing his heart pound in his ears making him stress even more. “Lost her, lost Merle, you ain’t following them”

It was weird that Y/N wasn’t waking up instantly like the others when the medicine has been in their system for a while. But they were exhausted.

Even when the prison fell around them.

No dad. No kids. No anybody. Y/N woke up to nothing but injuries of the fallen debris. Nothing too concerning but enough to frustrate their tired form as they crawled out of the rubble and to the surface of their collapsed cell block finding dead people and walkers.

Dad…

Carl…

Beth…

Judith…

It kept repeating in their head when they managed to get out of the infested area with the little belongings they scavenged.

Y/N felt like they were walking for days with no end. They saw the signs for Terminus and thought about heading that direction but if shit went south they had virtually nothing to protect themselves or anyone who joined along the way. They eventually found themselves in an abandoned house curled up in a corner listening to the sounds of nature and the rapid beating of their heart.

What if I don’t find anyone

Did I just lose my remaining family to an attack

They could be dead

Where’s Carl

Hopefully the kids are safe

They could be dead

Hershel’s remains were in the field…where’s Maggie and Beth

Who the hell got Judith

Where is my dad?

They could be dead

They could be dead

They could be dead

The panic settles in and before the scream ripped out of their chest out of frustration, exhaustion, depression…footsteps drew close. Several. But it wasn’t any of their group.

•

“These are good people…” Daryl frowns watching Joe keep his grip on Rick as he scoffs toward the archer.

“See…now that’s a lie”

Right before the other Claimer was about to grab Daryl, his body dropped to the floor. Confusing everyone in that heated situation. But given the open window Rick took out the leader while Michonne took out the one pinning her. Daryl went for the ones behind him while the swordsman was heading for the guy pinning Carl but right before she even drew her sword, the sound of a shotgun rang through as the guy splatters against the car sliding against the rusted metal until he met the floor. Carl scrambled away from the dead man feeling Michonne’s protective hold wrap around him as the two heard footsteps approaching from the tree line.

“Holy shit” One of the remaining claimers paused in the middle of fist fighting Daryl to see the figure emerging. “You’re still alive?!” He snaps and right before Daryl could land another punch, he dropped the Claimer when a knife was thrown right at his skull.

“I’m a goddamn roach…”

Daryl quickly turned toward the voice finding Y/N drawing close to grab their knife. But add more insult to injury by crushing the man’s skull with their foot. They both drew their handguns to take out the one approaching from behind Daryl and without a second thought after the assholes were taken care of, Y/N wrapped their arms around their dad feeling him tighten his grip on them.

“I’m so tired, dad…” Y/N sobbed holding onto him as he let them fall apart in his embrace relieved they were alive.

The five settled where they were to give them all a break of what had happened. Michonne stayed with Carl in the car with Rick keeping watch as the Dixons were outside of such leaning against it.

“I thought I lost yea…” Daryl frowns resting his head on top of theirs that was perched on his shoulder. “Thought I lost yea to the illness, then the collapse…”

“I should’ve taken better care of myself…then I wouldn’t have gotten sick, and sort of left there”

“I didn’t want to leave your side. I stayed with yea until the Governor came crashing into our home. I tried to go back but Beth saved my ass from getting killed trying”

“I’ll thank her when we find her”

Finding her dead wasn’t what either expected and neither of them hesitate to take the cop down after she shot Beth. They each took their own toll on the matter.

Couldn’t save her, does that have future indications toward his own blood

Couldn’t save her, was there really a consequence for mattering for oneself for a change

Daryl frowns watching Y/N sit beside him after watching what he did with the cigarette in his hand. They brushed off the ash from the burn checking how bad it was as he took his hand away.

“It’s not as bad as what my dad did to me”

“Still shouldn’t have done it. I still need yea around, old man”

The archer rolls his eyes before wrapping his arm around their shoulders bringing them in.

“What did we learn from this?”

“It’s okay to fight for someone else…as long as you don’t forget yourself”

“Good”

[bbkirbs]

Everything She Wants | D.D

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Grimes!Reader/Original Female Character

Word Count: 1,149 / Character Count: 5,691

TW/CW: S/A, violence, SH, gore, fighting, abuse(possibly)

Summary: Emma Grimes (18-year-old daughter of Rick and Lori Grimes. Older sister of Carl Grimes) struggles to find herself through the end of the world. Facing the loss of loved ones and fighting her own demons. As she learns to survive, she discovers feelings for someone she has never felt.

Author Note: Hello!! This is my first time writing fanfic for anything since 2015, so please bare with me. I appreciate any feedback. This story will be extended. Feel free to let me know what you think about anything in the future. I also want to mention that this story won't 100% align with the actual show, but it will follow the same timeline, I hope you enjoy

Chapter One: The Beginning

When it started, no one had any idea what was happening. My dad was just shot, and I had no time to process what happened to him before all hell broke loose.

I was a senior in High-School. I had just turned 18 this year. And the first thing I did when everything went down was grab carl from his school a block from mine and find mom.

After running back home, we found our mom and my dad's best friend, Shane, whom we call our Uncle. He told us he would protect us and that we would be safe with him.

"what about dad?" I ask in panic as Shane is filling the car with our clothes and other belongings (as well as food). "your dad died, Emma... I tried to save him, I really did, but I had no time; I needed to find you guys for him." I looked at Shane in shock; not knowing what to say, I grabbed my mp3 player from my backpack and hurried into the car. Tears escape from my eyes now, knowing my dad, my best friend, is gone, and I didn't even get to say goodbye.

After a couple hours, we found ourselves on a highway of some sort, a bunch of families wondering when we could start driving again. The whole thing was such a blur to me. The next thing I remember was everyone dying, screaming. It was a nightmare.

We had to set up camp with a group of others. We spent the next two months hunting for food and supplies, simply surviving on whatever we could find or already had. I was initially scared, but knowing my family and I weren't alone made it much easier and less scary. It seemed that my mom sure was not nervous or afraid anymore. There was no wait time between finding out dad died and her fucking dad's best friend.

I wouldn't have been able to know if they were better at hiding it. They make it so obvious. And sharing a tent with carl next to moms tent? I'm surprised carl can sleep through all their moaning and groaning every night.

For some time, I kept my mouth shut, making food for everyone and whatnot to keep my mind off it. But it was no use; my mom ended up finding out.

I walked out of my tent after a nap during the day, wanting some fresh air. Putting my combat boots back on my feet, I walk towards the forest to sit under a tree when I hear voices. I pull my pocket knife out "who's there?!" "Emma??!" I turn to my left to see my mom and Shane embracing. Shane manages to slip away, and it's just my mom and me.

"so I see you didn't wait to jump into his arms" I cross my arms. "Emma, my love life is none of your business." "it is my business when I can hear you and your little rebound fucking next to mine and Carl's tent." after I said that, I guess it struck a chord with mom because she ran away.

Sighing, I sit down under a large tree and rest my head back on it. After thinking, I hear footsteps and open my eyes, "it's just me, girl" I close my eyes again, knowing it's Daryl. "whatcha doin' out here anyway?" "Well, I wanted to get some fresh air, but I found my mom and Shane making out and told her upfront that I knew and could hear them having sex." "sounds bout right, saw her stormin' back to 'er tent cryin', was wonderin' what happened"

I sigh again, "I just wish my dad was here... that's all" "well, based on what I heard, I don't think he's dead. or at least, don't sound like anyone should be assumin'." I nod in agreement and sit closer to him, resting my head on his shoulder. he doesn't pay any mind and continues to clean his arrows.

We sit for a bit under the tree in comfortable silence until we hear an engine revving really loud. "what's happening ?" "I don't know, but let's find out" Daryl and I get up from the ground and jog over to where the noise is coming from.

Glenn had just gotten back from his run and stopped the noise. He mentioned why he and the others he went with took so long, because of this new guy. They called out for him, and a car door opened.

It was my dad.

'Dad?!" I ran as fast as possible to my dad; Carl and I jumped into his arms. "I missed you so much," I said into his shoulder. "I missed you too, sunshine, and you too, Carl" dad kissed us both on the head and gets up to bring our mom into an embrace. I shake my head, turn to Shane, and shake my head at him, walking away from everyone.

While I was out sulking in the woods, my dad had handcuffed Merle to a pipe on a roof somewhere in the city, leaving him to die. Merle wasn't a good guy, but I don't think he deserved that.

Daryl was yelling at everyone who went out, including my dad, trying to fight and demanding they return and try to find him. Only a few people wanted to tag along. "I'll go with you to look for him, Daryl" "oh no, you're not, young lady", my dad walks up to me, putting a hand on my shoulder.

"yes, I am. It's the least I can do for a new friend. I want everyone to be as safe and alive as everyone else. And I'm going to help Daryl get his brother." my dad gave me a softer look, "fine, but I'm coming with you and make sure you're safe" I rolled my eyes. Carl runs up to dad, "can I come too?" I crouch at eye level with Carl. "no, buddy, you can't; we need you here and safe; you can play with Sophia and mom. I promise we will be back very soon, and I can play with you too" Carl gives me a smile "okay",.

Carl runs back over to Sophia. My mom holds dads hand. "honey, you just got back, and now you want to leave? We haven't even gotten to sit down and spend time with you" "Lori, as much as I want to after having just gotten back, it's the least I can do, seeing as I am the one who handcuffed a guy to a pipe on a roof." my mom sighs, kissing him on the cheek "okay. Still, please be safe; I don't want to lose you again after just getting you back" "I will, I promise" after we say our goodbyes, we head off to the city to find merle.

[cyarsk52-20]

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theneighborhoodtalk TNHT Staff: @therealmeche_

—————————————————————

Neighbors, there are some important updates regarding the Tory Lanez trial that might determine how the judge will rule tomorrow during his ruling.

———————————————————

According to Twitter’s favorite law reporter Meghann Cunniff, Tory’s defense had a lot of arguments for the judge and the prosecution. They argued that the original defense by Tory’s first lawyer was “ineffective” in the case. They claim the angle that Tory, Megan Thee Stallion, and Kylie were in an argument before the shooting played into the verdict.

——————————————————-

Another shocking thing that his defense team argued is the fact that Megan brought up Tory’s video “CAP”, which featured Tory chopping up horse legs, hurt his defense and was irrelevant to the overall trial. They say that the horse in the video wasn’t described as being a “stallion”, despite “HGS” (hot girl sh*t) being in the background of the video.

—————————————————————

After everything was laid out during the hearing, the judge decided he would make his decision tomorrow whether to accept the appeal and have a new trial, or sentence Tory to his time. As he left, Tory begged the judge to have mercy on his life.

———————————————————

"Please don't ruin my life. I could be your son. I could be your brother," Lane told the judge, who is Black.

——————————————————————

We shall see tomorrow. Thoughts Neighbors?

Tory: please don’t ruin my life, I could be your son, your brother

Well Megan could have been somebody’s mom, somebody’s daughter, somebody sister, somebody’s aunt, grandmother, cousin, siblings, woman in general but you didn’t care about that because for one you shot her and and two even though she didn’t want to turn you into the cops at first and was willing to let it all go you instead traumatized her and made her life hell for two whole years being a bully and a sociopath and convincing those punk arss bloggers and those biiiich made male rappers to bully her too so much that she was mentally and spiritually broken. You know as someone who was once bullied before (thankfully not to the extent of what that Keebler elf did) there’s many things that will make me highly upset and people who are bullied is one of them, and it’s worse than you’re not only being a bully but you’re also the one who causes the trauma and adds more emotional and psychological trauma to the person you caused physical pain to.

Your fans (who are just as bad and ignorant as you are) think that you’re the modern version of Emmett till cause you’re another black man who being screwed over by the American justice system (yeah cause never mind the thousands of innocent black lives who are screwed over by the corruptive system or the many innocent black men women and children who were killed or beaten by the police , all the lives that were cruelly taken, all of those who screamed out for their mothers as they were dying, those who killed for having skittles like Trayvon, or a toy gun like tamir, or two thousand pennies like George, or sleeping like Breonna, or running like Ahmaud, or so on and so on and so on, nope it’s your fave that’s being the one screwed over)

When in reality you’re no different than people like till murderer Carolyn Bryant when it comes to lying and not owning up to your own actions and playing victim,

Lori drew ( the woman who used her MySpace account to bully Megan Meier so much that she committed suicide) when it comes to using your platform on social media to be a bully and have others do the same thing,

and Charles Manson when it comes to influencing your fanbase and other musicians and bloggers to be bullies and manipulating them to think that you’re great as a musician and person when you are not even that close to good as a musician and you most definitely are no where near to a person who worthy of being called good.

And just like those people who I just mentioned you sir, are a sociopath who doesn’t care about anyone who gets hurt by your actions or words because it makes you feel good and it’s okay if your victims emotionally suffer even when they were kind to you

You’re not just another black man who is screwed over by the justice system, you’re a small minded man who is rightfully held accountable because you can’t handle the fact that a successful black woman is doing so much better than you and hate the fact that she said that your music was not that good . Your weren’t lynched, you just gave yourself enough rope to hang yourself and you have the nerve to plead to the judge not to have your life ruined? You ruined your own life the moment you shot Megan and then after she didn’t want to turn you into the cops you bullied her, fuck outta here😒😒

The audacity of him pulling this “but I was the victim too!” Card as if his victim isn’t a whole Black woman.. Gone be sick as hell when he’s sent to prison anyway..

He will never take any accountability for his actions. All of this is because of his own poor actions. Lmao. What a girl. Take your sentence like a real man who going to be turned into a girlfriend in prison

I’m hoping tomorrow Judge Herriford lays it all out for the leprechaun. Especially with all of the stunts & theatrics he has pulled. Playing on social injustices, bringing his child to court, no regard for the victim’s feelings, etc.

I’ll elaborate on him showing no regard for the victim’s (Meg) feelings. Even if in his delusional mind he believes he did nothing wrong. Not once during these court appearances has shown any remorse. Just “me! me!”... There’s nothing indicating he has any care for others.(and considering his history of being violent and trying to blame everyone but himself he has never cared about anyone else)

All of that is literally the perfect way to send his ass off. & Also, just to put an emphasis on his character as a human being.

[twdmusicboxmystery]

Do you think Beth loves Daryl? I'm so confused about this the only thing I'm sure of is that she knows he loves her

I think she does. I get what you're saying. They never did anything in the show to prove HER feelings beyond any doubt, so you kind of have to read between the lines.

For me, it can be seen subtly in a few different ways. In season 3, when she talks to Carol after Daryl leaves with Merle, you can see her defending Daryl and saying the group needs him. And she clearly admires him for being determined to save Baby Judith after Lori died.

It's things like that, as well as her "oh" reaction that give it away for me. It's always been my belief that maybe Beth was crushing on Daryl long before S4, but even in her own mind, it was mostly just a crush on an older man who would never return her feelings. While she might have secretly liked him, she realistically did not think he'd ever return her feelings, so she would never have acted on it.

When they had their eye contact in Still, she realized in that moment that he truly had begun to return her feelings. She wasn't put off by it so much as genuinely surprised.

And of course the sh*t hit the fan before anything further could happen, so.

At least, that's my interpretation of it. So, the short answer is, yes, she does. Hope that helps! Xoxo! 🍀💞