#sharon's ask and replies

[shermerclassclown]

@marvariants said (Sharon): “Have you ever heard of SHIELD?”

A frown fell upon the redhead's face when she heard this. She hadn't really heard of a lot of things, given her line of work. This was

"As in a metal object that protects you from harm? Yes," she answered. "Is that what you mean?"

[warriorofthought]

I did love you, always!

Summary: Bucky broke up with you but the Winter Soldier still loves you.

Word count: 3103

Warnings: sad, sentimental Feelings 

Winter Soldier x Reader

You and Bucky broke up recently, even though you always supported him, even through his Winter soldier phase. It didn't even take two weeks before he got together with Sharon. that made you angry, hurt, betrayed.

You were at Bucky’s house because you had to get your stuff, and you both began to argue again because of Sharon.

"At least she treats me like I'm somebody!" he snapped.

"Yeah, I do too but would she love you if you were the winter soldier?!" You yell back.

"Nobody loved me when I was the winter soldier!”

"I do, i did" you mumble and turn around to put clothes from the shelf in a box.

He stops and just stares at you. You can't tell if he heard it. You look at him. 

You stare at each other for a few seconds and you wonder whether it's even something to say now. 

You wait for him to reply, maybe you shouldn't have said anything, now that you realize you might have spoken out of impulse. 

He walks up to you. 

"What did you say?”

"you have heard me!" You say a bit annoyed.

"I love you, even when you change back into the Winter soldier. The winter soldier is not a complete monster, he is also loveable." You sigh.

"But that doesn't matter anymore" you shake your head disappointed and hurt.

He stares at you and seems to be thinking. 

His grip tightens on his fists. He's angry, frustrated, upset. 

Then he sighs.

"You don't know what you're saying and you're just saying this because you're upset." 

He seems to be thinking again, then he continues.

"If i was the winter soldier, you would hate me too.”

"I would not, i have seen you many times as the winter soldier and i didn't hate you, i love you it doesn't matter which one you are. The Winter soldier loves me, the same as you do. He wouldn't kill me." You say and finish up packing your clothes.

"How do you know?" he asks. He's curious now, maybe he's starting to reconsider.

"You don't know that. You say you love me no matter what, but I don't believe you. You're just saying it because you're angry. Because you can't stand me being with Sharon.”

"Yeah, I can't stand you being with Sharon." You snap.

"But I'm the only one that can change you back into Bucky when you go back into Winter Soldier, Sharon can't protect you from that, the Winter soldier, you. He will kill her." 

Before Bucky can say anything Sharon steps into the apartment, his new love.

You glare at Sharon, who's got her hands all over Bucky.

"She can protect herself, she's a trained SHIELD agent." Bucky is getting defensive now. 

"And I can protect her if she needs me to. She understands this. She's not afraid. We're in love, and she trusts me." 

Bucky's really falling for Sharon's charms now.

"Bucky, you don't need to pretend you love someone else, just because you are scared."  You say gentle.  " We both can manage that, we can work on that, together." 

He stays silent for a bit. 

"I'm not pretending anything. With her, it's..." you can hear the joy in his voice. 

"You don't know what it's like when I'm with her, to feel her touch, to hear her smile... It's different with her, I actually want to be with her.” 

You grab your last items and then walk to the front door. " I hope you won't regret that" you say and leave.

He lets you leave, knowing how stubborn you can be when you're upset. But he will regret it. He already does. 

He sits down on the couch in silence. He should go after you, he shouldn't have let you leave like this. 

But then Sharon comes and sits right next to him, putting her arms around his neck, clinging to him.

Timeskip (Three weeks later, you get a call from Sam, telling you Bucky changed back into the Winter soldier and that he is currently destroying the SHIELD base. Sams wants you to come quickly because nobody comes through to the Winter soldier or Bucky. You sigh but still go to the SHIELD base to see what is happening, you even see Sharon there but the Winter Soldier doesn't seem to like her. You stop beside Sam who looks happy to see you here.)

Sam smiles at you, relieved to see you. He knows you're one of the only people who Bucky would actually care to listen to. 

The Winter Soldier is destroying the SHIELD base, tearing things apart and shouting. 

Sharon's nearby, but Bucky seems to have forgotten about her.

"I thought he wouldn't get near Hydra again, that all of you didn't let him go destroying the hydra base as a mission. How wrong did go your last mission?" you say softly to sam.

Sam shrug his shoulders .

"He was on a mission to destroy a hydra base, the one right here, but apparently something went wrong."

You glance at the Winter Soldier. He's still breaking things and shouting. Sam sighs.

"Sharon's trying to talk to him, so far he's not interested..."

"No wonder, Winter doesn't like her" you grumble with a sigh.

Sam sights too.

"He's not usually this bad when he changes back" he explains.

"This time it's different because of... You know..."

"Because of our break up?" You ask gentle.

"Is he not happy with being with Sharon?"

Sam nods. "He's not happy, and he's not handling his emotions well. And the fact that he's still with Sharon... He's confused, he's trying to deny his feelings for you and it's... just making his mind a mess."

You sigh " I will handle that."

Then you step into the room where Sharon and the Winter Soldier are. Sharon looks like a mess.

The Winter Soldier doesn't even blink when you walk in. He's got a look of determination on his face, and his eyes are fixed on Sharon who is trying to talk to him, but Bucky's not interested.

Sharon's hair is all out of place, she looks scared and desperate.

"Winter, do you really need to be so mean to her?" You ask gently and walk closer.

The Winter Soldier stares at you, his eyes filled with rage and frustration.

"Maybe I do. Maybe I want to be mean to her."

Sharon looks at you, and at first it's relief, but she slowly understands that you're not going to defend her.

"Is it because Bucky wants to be with her and you don't?"

The Winter Soldier looks like he suddenly realizes something.

You notice that he's slightly distracted from the idea of hurting Sharon and actually looking at you.

He raises his voice.

"Bucky wants to be with Sharon, but I hate her..."

You slowly nod. But as you want to answer the jet sways a bit and you all stumble a little to the side as the jet tilts to the side.

You don't see how a few metal pipes threaten to fall on you and before that happens, the Winter Soldier is with you and protects you from the falling pipes with his metal arm.

You're shocked by his sudden change of behavior, and also by his sudden reaction. He protects you, making sure you're safe. His reaction is much quicker than yours, or anyone else's and it's clear that all his attention is now on you.

"Winter" you say lovely, your soft eyes meet his. He doesn't change back into Bucky but you see the love that the Winter Soldier has for you.

His eyes meet yours and you feel like he's looking into your soul. The love and affection in his eyes...

He's still standing in front of you, protecting you.

You can feel his warmth and his closeness.

Sharon is looking at you two, her look of desperation gone now, replaced by something else...

"Winter, thank you." You whisper softly.

He nods slightly, clearly understanding that you're thanking him.

Sharon's starting to look angry and jealous now. She's clearly noticed that he paid no attention to her, and was completely focused on you.

This time Sharon starts to mock you.

She points at you and laughs.

"He's just pretending to care about you. He doesn't love you, he doesn't even like you. He's with me, not with you!" it pains you to hear her say those things, to see the contempt in her eyes and hear the jealousy in her voice.

"Yeah, Bucky is in a relationship with you. But that doesn't mean that the Winter Soldier also wants that" you say calm.

Then you all stumble again as the jet swings in the other direction. Winter immediately stabilizes your stand.

You keep talking to him without even reacting to the movement or the danger. You know Winter will always have your back.

Sharon rolls her eyes and laughs.

"Do you really think he'll choose you over me? He needs someone in his life and you're not even there for him. He wants a real relationship, a real woman, not someone like you!"

“I don't care about your opinion, the only thing that is important is that Winter and even Bucky feels comfortable.”

She stares down at the ground, her jaw clenched and her face flushed with anger.

You wonder if she's realizing that her relationship with him isn't as secure as she thought…

Sharon laughs again.

"You're so stupid if you actually believe that. Just look at him! He's in love with me, not with you."

You notice her tone change from mocking to one filled with anger and jealousy.

The jet wobbles even more and Winter has to tighten his grip on you to keep both of you standing. The Winter Soldier keeps protecting you, making sure you don't fall and get hurt.

Before you can react Sharon points her gun at you, your eyes weiden slightly surprised that she would do that infront of everyone else. You even can hear Sam grasp surprised.

The Winter Soldier notices too and immediately raises his arm to block the bullet with his metal arm. 

His eyes flare when he realizes someone's pointing a gun at you and he won't let that happen. 

Sharon is surprised that the bullet doesn't hit you and glares at Bucky who is protecting you.

Sharon yells at you. Then Winter grabs you, you don't even manage to do something else and flee with you out of the big jet towards a helicopter.

The Winter Soldier moves quickly and efficiently, and before anyone can react he's managed to carry you towards a helicopter. 

You're stunned at his speed and agility, but you also notice how much he's paying attention to you. 

By now Sharon must've realized that she lost.

The Winter Soldier is in charge. Not Bucky. 

You can feel his warmth in your arms. His strength as he carries you to the helicopter and then lowers you in. He still stays protecting you, keeping you safe.

Sharon is behind the helicopter, still staring at you with jealousy and contempt but she no longer seems like the same person.

The Winter Soldier seems almost loving towards you, his anger turned into affection.

"Winter?, are you telling me, where we are going?" You ask and let him buckle up the seatbelt around your body and watch him start the helicopter.

The Winter Soldier is focused on starting the helicopter, and he doesn't respond for a bit. He looks at you and you notice his expression is different. The rage is gone.

He's thinking, and you also realize that he's actually considering what he's going to say for once. 

Then he finally speaks.

"We're going home.”

"home?" You mumble and watch him drive the helicopter away from SHIELD.

"Yes." his voice is even more gentle now but there is still the roughness in it, his expression has softened.

He focuses on flying the helicopter. 

"Home, and then we'll talk.”

Timeskip (A few hours later. He lands the helicopter on a farm that is his.)

The Winter Soldier lands the helicopter next to his Farmhouse. 

This is definitely his safe place, you can feel the peace and the comfort.

He turns around to look at you. 

"We need to talk.” You nod and sit down on the couch. The Winter Soldier also sits down in front of you, close enough that it feels like he wants to have physical contact with you. 

He is still in control, not Bucky.

So far everything is different from before, you can feel how much he's calmed down, how much he likes being this close to you. 

"I wanted to apologize…”

"for that what Bucky did? You can't control your other side, Winter. Bucky and you are both in this body, I don't know why Bucky suddenly stopped loving me but It's not your fault, Winter.”

He smiles slightly. Then he moves closer so that his leg is touching yours. His eyes are intense but soft, as if he's really paying attention to every little word you say. 

You have to resist the urge to move a little bit closer.

Then he replies.

"I know I can't control the other side, but I did hurt you.. and I'm sorry…”

You smile softly and cup the face of the Winter Soldier softly.

You slightly wish he would stay being the Winter Soldier, loving you further. You missed him so much, you don't care how rough his side that hydra had caused is because he always is so soft to you, only to you. Bucky himself will go back to Sharon. But this wish is unethical and mean of you to think. You sigh.

"I love you, i haven't stopped doing that.”

His expression softens even more as you cup his face. 

He feels your hand against his cheek, your fingers gently moving along his jawline. 

He leans his head just slightly to the side, leaning a little bit more into your touch.

His hand is moving, reaching out and he's just about to caress your hand, but then he stops, hesitating.

He bites his lip, his gaze lingering on your hand.

He is still the winter soldier, but he's definitely more in love with you than Bucky ever was…

"My Winter, my love. I have missed you so much." You say lovely and put your forehead against his, breathing his scent in. Your hand intertwined with his flesh hand.

The winter soldier doesn't reply, but his arm moves slightly, his fingers wrapping around your hand and holding it tightly. 

You are both very close and you can almost feel him wanting to draw you closer, pull you to him and bury his face into your neck, but he stops, resisting the urge.

His eyes are deep and passionate, he really missed you and his love for you is shining through them. He's breathing a little bit harder, and you can feel his heartbeat increasing.

"Tell me, do you know that i love you Winter, i love the Winter soldier, i even love you as Bucky. Especially, i love you, your heart, your soul. I don't care how the other sees you, I see you as something special.”

He squeezes your hand, as if you didn't even need to tell him, as if he always knew that you loved him.

Your words have reassured him though, and his heart beats a little slower, his breathing becomes more relaxed.

He wants to say it back to you, to tell you how much he loves you. 

But he's still struggling with his identity. He's still deciding which is the stronger side. 

"I love you too..." he whispers.

Your heart warms immediately, having missed to hear this words out of his mouth.

And suddenly, he pulls you closer. He leans his head against your shoulder and wraps his arms around you, his grip tight and loving. 

He smells like the farm, like open air and fresh grass. 

He's holding you, so close and protecting you.

He's the winter soldier, and he doesn't want to let you go.

“I hated what Bucky did to you, he feared things, but that doesn't give him the right to push you away, my lovely flower. I hated it that he tried to suppress me, hated it that he stayed with this woman. I don't like her. Sharon is not you, she doesn't have this glimmer in her eyes as you have when you look at me.”  his voice is rough but soft at the same time and it sends a shiver down your spine.

You hug him back and softly pet his back.

“Don't worry, we have enough time to figure this out.” You say lovely and lean your forehead against his.

He hugs you even tighter, burying his face in your neck, and breathing in your scent.

He has finally decided. The winter soldier is in control. Not Bucky. The moment he's been wishing for has finally come. 

He's not struggling with his identity anymore. He knows who he is.

His hand touches your face, gentle, caressing.

"I'm not letting you go. I don't want to share you with anyone anymore.”

His voice is filled with affection as he looks at you. 

"I've missed you. I've missed being with you. I've missed feeling you..." 

He leans his head against you again, and your breath is intermixed. 

Sharon definitely cannot compare to you in his eyes, she was always just a replacement for you. He doesn't even want to think about her right now. 

His arms are still around you, and your body is pressing against his. It feels so natural that you almost want to stay like this forever…

"I know she's not you." his voice is even rougher now, almost feral.

He presses his face into your neck, his lips just below your ear. 

"She's nothing compared to you... I hate her."

He holds you tighter and you can feel the pure hatred and possessiveness coming out of his every pore. 

This is the Winter Soldier's way to tell you how much you mean to him.

"I don't want to turn back into Bucky. I want to stay the Winter Soldier with you.”

“Winter, we will figure it out soon. Alright?” 

You feel him nod against you, then he moves his body on the sofa and quickly pulls you into his embrace.

You know someday you have to let the Winter Soldier change back into Bucky, but for now you can enjoy your love back in your arms, healing your heart.

[navybrat817]

Where Did the Time Go?

Pairing: Best Friend!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader Summary: You decide not to drink during game night, which leads to an interesting conversation with Bucky. Word Count: 1.6k Warnings: Light angst, tension, friends reconnecting, unrequited feelings (or so you think), slight feels (it's me), Bucky Barnes (yep, he's a warning) Previous Part of AU: We'll Always be Friends A/N: More Dreamboat and Butterfly from my Reconnect AU! ❤️ Beta read by @whisperlullaby, but any and all mistakes are my own. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

You weren’t sure what exactly happened between dinner and now, but you decided that the fun game night wouldn’t include drinking. You hadn’t touched a drop of alcohol since your meal. Even then, you were pretty sure you didn’t have much. Sharon brought out a bottle of wine before everyone finished eating and you took a sip of your glass out of obligation. If she noticed you didn’t finish your glass, she didn’t say anything, which you appreciated.

But you should’ve known that Bucky would catch on.

“Not drinking tonight, huh?” He asked as he took a seat beside you on the couch. Steve and Sam set up a game table and were already a couple of drinks in. So were Sharon and Natasha. You weren’t worried about them though. They could hold their liquor.

But can I hold my tongue if I drink? Or am I using that as an excuse?

“Not tonight,” you replied, holding up your cup of water. “Sticking with water.”

“You’re acting like we need a designated driver when we’re not going anywhere,” he joked, throwing his arm around behind the cushion, the same way he had at the dinner table. “Afraid I’ll kick your ass in Mario Kart if you get a little tipsy?” He asked, grinning when you smiled. “We can have a tournament? Just the two of us?”

“Hey, one of us might need to go on a liquor or snack run. You never know,” you said, setting your water on the table before you sank into the couch. “And it isn’t exactly a tournament if only two people are playing, is it?”

“It can be. We make our own rules,” he smiled as he moved a little closer. “Remember the time we had a tournament? We went to that shady looking liquor store after Sam spilled the last bottle of rum. The guy behind the counter had a bunch of clown masks.”

You laughed a little. How could you forget? “Yes! We had to open the living room window so we could breathe. And the cashier was actually a sweet guy, but you glued yourself to my side before that because you were certain the guy had bad intentions,” you said. Bucky and his protective streak made you feel important.

Until you weren’t.

Bucky must’ve noticed the change in your demeanor since he stopped chuckling. “Seriously though. Are you okay? Are you not feeling well?”

“I feel fine. I just don’t need to drink tonight,” you said, touched that he showed concern for you before a weird expression crossed his face. “What? Do I have something in my teeth?”

“No. You’re, um,” he tapped a finger on his knee as he tried to find the words. “There isn’t a specific reason you aren’t, is there? You're not…” he trailed off, but his eyes drifted long enough to your torso to fill in the blank.

You never understood the expression about eyes widening to the size of saucers until you experienced it just then. “Are you asking if I’m pregnant?” You whispered, careful not to speak any louder than that. The last thing you needed was the group questioning why Bucky asked such a question. “If so, the answer is NO.”

The sigh of relief Bucky let out, you weren’t sure what to make of it. “Sorry. I'm sorry. You don’t owe me an explanation for why you aren’t drinking. I just. I don't know why my mind went there.”

You couldn’t exactly tell him you're worried about getting plastered and revealing how you felt about him. Drunk confessions worked for some, but you didn’t think the odds were in your favor. “I still can’t believe you asked that,” you half teased, pointing at your stomach. “Not to mention, I haven’t been laid in ages. So, unless it happens via immaculate conception, that’s never going to be the case.”

The odd expression was back on Bucky’s face. What was his deal? “When was the last time you went on a date?” He asked with more interest than you expected.

“Months ago. Minimum,” you said, looking up at the ceiling as you tried to recall the exact day. “His name was Nick. We went on a few dates and he was nice enough, but he ended up getting serious with someone else. Haven’t gone on another date since.”

The clench in Bucky’s jaw almost made you smile. He had no reason to look so upset on your behalf. “I’m sorry. It’s his loss.”

“Don’t be. I’m kind of used to it,” you said with a nonchalant shrug.

“What the hell does that mean?” He asked, facing you on the couch and blocking the view of your friends at the table. “What exactly are you used to?”

Why does he sound upset? It's not like I’m not his girl.

“It means I’m used to guys not picking me,” you said honestly. As much as it hurt to think that way, saying it didn’t hurt as badly. “Think about it, Bucky. In all the time you’ve known me, when have guys ever flocked to me? When have you ever seen a guy take a chance on me when Natasha and Sharon were there? They haven’t and that’s just the way it is.”

“That’s bullshit. You’re perfect. And maybe people do see you, but you don’t see them,” he argued, quickly closing his mouth when he saw your expression. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean-”

“No, I think that’s exactly what you meant,” you said, sitting up to put some distance between the two of you as hurt filled his eyes. “I see just fine, thanks, but please enlighten me. Who saw me? Who did I overlook? I’d love an example.”

There was no reason to get so defensive, but did he understand how you felt? People gravitated toward Bucky and your friends. They always had. You, on the other hand, were on the outside of the house looking in. It was tiring to be the one knocking on the door.

“What about your old friend, TJ? You’re telling me he didn’t see you?” He asked, a hint of bitterness in his voice. It wasn’t a tone you heard from him before. It didn't suit him.

“TJ?” You asked, confusion written all over your face that you couldn’t fake if you tried. “TJ Hammond? My old family friend? Um, no, he definitely doesn’t see me.”

Not even close.

“He stayed at your place after Steve’s party,” he said, running a hand through his hair as he avoided your gaze. “Bet he couldn’t wait to see you. Probably went over the second you got back from the trip.”

Wait, is he jealous? What the hell?

You laughed a little, unable to help yourself when he raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, he did stay at my place for a bit after Steve’s birthday bash a couple of years ago. He had an issue with his boyfriend.”

Bucky did a double take, which would’ve been humorous if not for the stricken look on his face. “Boyfriend?”

“Yeah. The guy he dated at the time was a HUGE asshole and they had a falling out. His parents refused to let him go back home, so he stayed with me. And I couldn’t kick him out. He needed a friend,” you said, your brows pinching when you recalled how TJ cried on your sofa. It was a heartbreaking sight. “He has a new boyfriend now who treats him well and he couldn’t be happier. And I couldn’t be happier for him.”

Bucky blinked a few times. “So, you two. You never…?”

“TJ and I? No. Never dated, hooked up, anything,” you smiled with a shake of your head. “We adore each other, but in a brother and sister kind of way. I mean, we’ve known each other since we were in diapers. Even if I did find him attractive, nothing ever would’ve happened. You, Steve, Sam, you guys are much more his type.”

Bucky didn’t say anything, his face a bit pale. You worried for a second that he was going to get sick. “I thought you two hooked up,” he said more to himself than to you.

Where the hell did he get that impression?

“No, we didn't and we never will,” you said again before something he said dawned on you. “Wait, how did you know he stayed at my place? He asked me not to tell anyone where he was and I respected his wishes.”

Going through the dates again in your head, it wasn’t long after TJ stayed with you that Bucky brought Dot around as his new girlfriend. You knew you lost your chance to admit your feelings because he had someone by his side. Someone who wasn’t you.

“Come with me,” Bucky said, taking your hand and pulling you up from the couch before you had a chance to argue. It was hard to keep up with his long strides and he didn’t look back when Steve called after the two of you.

“What’s going on?” You asked as he pulled you outside and slammed the door. You watched as he took a few breaths, like he was trying to steady himself. “Talk to me, please.”

“I wasted two years,” he whispered, tilting his head to look at the sky. “Two fucking years.”

What is he talking about?

“I don’t understand,” you said.

“I made a huge mistake and I regret it,” he said, squeezing your hand as he faced you. “And I can't go the rest of this week without telling you. I wasted enough time.”

“Tell me what? Bucky, what did you do?”

And can we come back from it?

That literary edging. I'm sorry! Love and thanks for reading! ❤️

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

[sweetbbarnes]

Jealous

TFATWS!BuckyBarnes x Fem!Reader

Summary: Bucky had no idea you could get so jealous over him. He’s not complaining, though.

Warnings: nothing much, jealous!reader, mentions of reader being insecure about herself (no body descriptions except from a part where it says that reader has calloused/scarred hands), a tiny hint at reader and Bucky having sex (you have to squint)

A/N: PLS I have nothing against long pink nails that’s actually how my nails are right now

I DO NOT CONSENT TO HAVE MY STORIES TRANSLATED, COPIED OR POSTED TO ANY OTHER SITE/APP/ACCOUNT. DO NOT STEAL MY WORK.

You have absolutely no right to feel like this.

The almost unbearable pang in your chest grows sharper and sharper as you observe the vibrant red lipstick luring Bucky into a conversation that leaves you to wonder what could be so intriguing. Oh, I actually know what’s so intriguing, you think to yourself as your eyes dart over her too revealing outfit. Talking, talking, talking. You summon the word like a mantra, repeating it over and over again in your mind, desperately trying to convince yourself that everything is fine. They’re just talking, right? So what if her hand and her stupidly long pink nails are strategically resting on his chest? What does it matter if she’s wiggling her hips all the time to show off? Everybody does that, it means nothing!

“You okay there, kid?” Sam asks, concerned, using the old nickname even though he knows you’re a little too far from being a kid now. “You look like you want to murder someone”

You shift the gaze towards your friend, attempting a smile that could honestly be mistaken with a grimace. “Just tired.” Your reply is barely audible over the unnecessarily loud music pulsating through Sharon’s mansion. They’re just talking.

“I must say,” Zemo unfortunately started with his infuriatingly smug grin “I never took you for a jealous woman”

“Jealous?” Sam repeated the infamous word, a little confused.

“Shut up, Zemo.” You reply dryly, shooting the man a glare that would make Bucky proud, if only he was paying attention to you and not some random woman’s boobs.

“She’s jealous of the pretty lady who’s captivating her soldier’s attention.” Zemo annoyingly elucidates the situation to Sam.

You watch, tortured, as Sam’s confused expression morphs into one of understanding as he gives Zemo a knowing look. “Y/n, if you’re-”

“I am not jealous and he is not ‘my soldier’.” You snap, your words coming out a little louder than you intended. Feeling frustrated in front of the truth Zemo just shoved at your face, you storm off towards the bar and ask the bartender for a beer.

You’re trying to ignore it. You really are. But your eyes can’t seem to abandon the enchanting figure across the room. She’s tall, stunning, feminine. Her skin is probably soft, void of the calluses and scars that mark your own — you wonder if Bucky can feel the softness through his shirt where she’s touching. She walks around in a piece of cloth that leaves too little to the imagination as if she fucking owns the place. Her lipstick matches so perfectly with her skin tone that if you didn’t know better you'd think she invented the color red. Every single aspect of her mere existence seems particularly designed to piss you off - but that could just be because her taste in men is pretty similar to yours. And there stands Barnes, wearing that infuriatingly sweet smirk of his, clearly enjoying the attention.

He can flirt with pretty girls. You tell yourself, trying to see things through a logical lens. He's a single, independent, free man. He can do whatever the fuck he wants. 

That much is true. To some extent.

See, he is single, and independent, and free. The only problem is, he had been flirting with you for the past two weeks — ever since Sam called you asking for help with the flagsmashers and Barnes forced his way into the situation. Or at least, you thought he was flirting. You could’ve read too much into his actions. But then again, if you were overanalyzing it, so were Sam and Zemo, because they just won’t stop teasing you about it.

Out of the two, Sam’s teases are the worst, of course. The damn asshole knows all too well that you had been pinning over Barnes since the day you helped save him years ago, back when everything was simpler. But then Wakanda happened, followed by Thanos, the blip, and the soul-wrecking taste of losing Bucky — and everyone else — for good. Then he came back, and now here you are, still hopelessly infatuated with the same dude.

Only now things are a little bit different. Because he had been gone, and in the time he was away, you had aged five years. He no longer addresses you as "kid," and you’re pretty sure you had caught him stealing glances at you when he believed no one was looking. Glances that resemble the way a man looks at a woman. Or so you desperately hoped thought. But all those fragile beliefs are now on the verge of shattering as you watch him giving the pretty lady a look that threatens to extinguish every ounce of hope you still hold onto.

"For someone who claims she's not jealous, you sure seem to be," Sam playfully mocks, breaking the silence as he sits in the barstool next to you.

You let out a heavy sigh. "Don't start."

"Are you going over there?" Sam asks nonchalantly.

"And say what? Hey, Barnes, I know we don't have anything and I have absolutely no right to be jealous, but could you please stop flirting with pretty women when I'm around? It really fucking stings?"

"It's a start," Sam shrugs.

You scoff, grabbing another beer from the bartender.

"If you're not willing to resolve it, at least stop glaring at the woman like you want to decapitate her," Zemo, much to your annoyance, joins the conversation.

"Since when do you care?" you retort, irritated with the audacity of this man.

"I don't. Just trying to be helpful," Zemo replies casually.

"Well, you're not," you roll your eyes.

"Although,” he adds after a moment of much appreciated silence, “if you're genuinely jealous, I suggest you don’t look now."

The smartass knows exactly how to get under your skin.

Shifting your gaze to where Bucky stands allowing himself to be drawn by cheap men-hooking techniques, your mouth suddenly dries. Planted far too close for your liking, the woman seductively whispers something right next to his ear as her hand caresses his bicep.

He’s not mine, you remind yourself, desperately trying to push the jealousy that threatens to consume you.

He doesn't owe me anything, you reason, the logical side of your brain trying to establish control.

I don’t have the right to feel like this. You shove your half done bottle into Sam’s chest, who holds it with an exasperated look directed at you.

I have absolutely no right to be jealous. You scold yourself as your legs start moving of their own accord, marching towards the pair.

You're nothing to him, you repeat in your mind, determination guiding your steps. When they finally notice your presence, it’s too late. You had already positioned yourself between them, fully facing Bucky.

"Excuse me, we were in the middle of a conversation," the pretty lady interjects, her tone doesn’t hold any particular hostility but her words irritate you nonetheless. How dare she flirt with your man?!

You turn your head towards her, lifting one eyebrow in a display of unimpressed indifference, before decisively returning your attention to Bucky. Grabbing him by the collar, you pull him closer and fervently press your lips against his.

Startled by your sudden attitude, he takes a few moments to fully register what the hell is going on, but as you refuse to back down, he slowly encircles his metal arm around your waist, raising his other hand to your cheek so he can hold your face and properly kiss the woman he’s been head over heels for since he came back to his senses when Steve saved him.

As Bucky deepens the kiss, taunting your parted lips with the tip of his tongue, the world around you fades into insignificance. The pent-up emotions, the frustration, the longing, and the overwhelming uncertainty, everything melts away in the intensity of the moment. Time stands still as you grant him full access to your mouth, both your stubborn natures fighting to dominate and control the kiss.

Realizing you need oxygen to survive, you release your grip on Bucky's collar, breaking the kiss but keeping your eyes locked with his. The unspoken words and long cultivated desires building up a tension one could cut with a knife.

The soldier's piercing gaze searches for yours, a mix of surprise, confusion, and something else flickering within the depths of his ocean blue eyes. Without actually thinking about what he’s doing, his grip tightens around your waist, pulling you closer. For a brief moment, you don’t dare say a word, the gravity of the situation sinking in, neither of you quite sure how to navigate the newfound territory you had just barged your way in.

But obviously, because Bucky is Bucky and you are you, that signature smirk of his slowly starts to show itself, and you somehow know what’s about to come.

“Well, darlin’, if that’s what you do when you get all riled up, I should probably find some more ladies to flirt with.” He teases, lightly squeezing your waist.

“Don’t push it, Barnes.” You fake scold, trying to hold back a smirk of your own.

He lowers his head until his lips are right next to you ear, so close that you can feel his warm breath as he speaks, “though if I got this attitude whenever you make me jealous, dollface, I have a feeling we’d be kissing a lot more”

A delicious shiver runs down your spine as you tease.”You keep the sweet talk, Sarge, and we’re gonna end up in Sharon’s spare bedroom.”

Well, you did end up in Sharon’s spare bedroom. And the bathroom. And the kitchen. And every single room in his apartment after you went back home. But that’s a story for another time.

Bonus:

Sam scowls as he watches the pretty lady storm away from you two, reaching his back pocket to get Zemo’s twenty dollars.

“I hope you know this is the last time I make a bet with you.” Sam mumbles, displeased, sipping the beer he knows very damn well you won’t be coming back to get.

Zemo shrugs nonchalantly, tucking away the money both of them know he doesn’t really need, but holds immense satisfaction as it represents his symbolic triumph over the bet. He smirks. "I must remind you, I did mention I could be quite persuasive."

masterlist

[its-time-to-write]

hi i love your work.

can i get touch deprived reader with jamie or roy

you totally can! It just comes at the low, low cost of way more words than you bargained for. Fair warning, Jamie isn’t even introduced for a good solid chunk of the first half. I also have been touch deprived so this is based on personal experience lol.

I feel like I let this get away from me in the same way the Vienna fic got away from me😂

sinking into your worn out mattress

It’s the same routine every day.

Wake up, get dressed, go to work, come home, make dinner, fall asleep, repeat.

It’s not a bad thing, necessarily. You’re nothing if not efficient, maximizing your time to the best of your abilities. It’s not the most glamorous thing in the world, but you enjoy it. You’re lucky enough to be working on your supervision hours under a renowned psychologist, Dr. Fieldstone in London, and it’s paid. Over half the people in your cohort are struggling through unpaid internships and juggling a second job just so they can make ends meet. You’re all propelled forward by the promise of better pay as soon as it’s all over, dreaming of the days you can own your own practice.

You’re not even sure how you landed this internship, as Dr. Fieldstone rarely ever takes on interns. (She’d tell you later it’s because she saw the same potential her supervisor saw in her.) But you have it, and you’re now assisting her in her on-location therapy to various sports teams. You’d been at a rugby club for a few months, but now it’s time to move on. Dr. Fieldstone was asked to come back to a previous club and although she’d never admit it, you know it was her favorite group to work with. It’s the only club who’s picture is on her desk. It makes you smile every time you see her surrounded by a rowdy-looking group of footballers and two very American coaches. She had said that the one with the mustache was no longer at the club, but the bearded one still was along with the angry looking man to the side and the short, grey-haired man.

You’ve seen the photo so many times that you have everyone’s faces memorized. You’re secretly excited to meet the team that made Dr. Sharon (in her colleagues’ words,) loosen up.

You weren’t friends, with Dr. Sharon, never once dropping the “doctor,” that preceded her name, but she would occasionally swing by your standard housing with a bottle of wine after a particularly difficult day. 

“This job can be emotionally draining,” she’d say. “I always wished I had someone there for me at the beginning.”

She rarely smiled or showed outward affection, but you understood that this was her way of saying she cared. 

But now you’re packing up your flat into your car, and headed to your new quarters in Richmond, London.

—

It’s apparent that Dr. Sharon has a strong connection with the players. There are a small few who allow you to run each session, most preferring to stick with who they know. Your days are mostly filled with analyses and treatment plans, with about two real session a week, one with Rojas, D and Maas, J. You don’t even sit in with Dr. Sharon much anymore, as the thought of an observer makes some of the players uncomfortable.  

It’s stressing you out.

How are you supposed to fulfill your hours when you can’t even get consistent sessions?

Dr. Sharon, in her limited kindness, refers you to a friend of hers in town. 

“She runs a small practice and works mostly with women. You’ll be able to keep your housing and fulfill your hours. If you need anything, you know where to find me.”

You look at her. “Right,” you reply, “because you’re going to have so much time to help me out between all the things you’ve got going on.”

She rolls her eyes good-naturedly. “Listen. Since you’re not my intern, I can become your therapist. I’ll even give you a discounted rate since you’re still interning. We’ll set up weekly sessions. You’ll be fine.”

You’re still not sure. Dr. Sharon can see the apprehension in your face. “Alright,” she says. “If you schedule our sessions in the evening and cook dinner, I’ll do it for free. It’ll be informal, one therapist to another.”

That’s big. She rarely does anything for free. In a moment of boldness, you say that to her face.

She cracks the tiniest smile. “It’s possible that I’ve grown fond of you. And even more possible that I’m addicted to your cooking.”

Huh. You suppose miracles do still happen.

—

Sharon is over for dinner for the third time in a week, and you’re suspicious that she might actually enjoy spending time with you. You’re laughing about some stupid story that happened during a natural environment observation (it involved a slip n slide, an obscene amount of shaving cream, and footballs being thrown at players heads) when out of nowhere you feel tears slipping down your face.

“Oh my gosh” you say while maybe laughing, maybe crying, “I think I’m broken.”

Sharon (she insisted you drop the “doctor,”) asks, “Are you alright?” and you shrug while you begin full-on sobbing.

“I don’t know what’s happening,” you say between gasps. “What the actual heck.”

At that, Sharon grins. You’re retaining some element of your humor, despite actually crying.

“Just go on and fucking swear already,” she says. “I think we’re past a truly professional relationship.” 

You shake your head. “No!” you say. “No, my mum wouldn’t like it.” Fresh tears start to fall at the mention of your mum. Sharon is actually concerned now.

“I’m not sure you’re alright,” she says, and you shoot her a no duh look. “Let’s discuss what might be the root of your issue. Have you been feeling differently lately?”

You’re wiping your eyes and trying so hard to get it together. You’re not even sure what your problem is. You were pretty sure you were doing fine, but you think back to your week. It had been pretty standard, nothing out of the ordinary. You shake your head.

“There is nothing too small to mention. Anything out of your usual routine? Physical discomfort, emotionally-draining sessions?” Sharon asks.

“No,” you reply, tears almost under control. “Wait. Yes.”

Sharon looks at you expectantly. “God, this is going to sound dumb.”

She reaches out to pat your hand. “There’s no such thing as too dumb,” she says in her therapist voice. 

The gesture is so much like something a sister would do. 

“Right,” you say. “Ok. My, um, the insides of my elbows like, hurt? They just feel weird, I don’t know. It started two weeks ago I think and usually I can just pinch them and it’s fine, but that’s the only thing I can think of, I guess.”

Sharon has gone full therapist, and is giving you an analytical look. “Hm,” she says. “Tell me more.”

You shrug. “There’s not much to tell. It’s not like painful, it just feels weird. I hug my pillow when I sleep and that also helps. Um, I push up my sleeves so they go around my elbows and the pressure helps.”

She asks, “When was the last time you saw a friend?” and you can’t think why this is relevant. But you also can’t remember.

“Probably since before I moved,” you say.

“And when was the last time you saw your family?”

You begin to see where she’s going.

“God,” you groan. “I’m an idiot.”

Sharon laughs. “Do you see why it’s so difficult for therapists to self-diagnose? We’re so busy trying to save the world that we forget to save ourselves.”

“But it’s so stupid,” you say. “It’s like, one of the most basic forms of self-care.”

Sharon shrugs. “Touch-starvation is a real thing. It manifests itself in different ways and apparently yours manifests itself in your elbows.”

It’s so ridiculous that you laugh. She does too, and reaches out to squeeze your arm. “I’ll be more mindful of it,” she says. “In the meantime, you need to find yourself some friends. Some people your own age. I’m prescribing you at least two nights out a week.”

You knit your eyebrows together. “I don’t even know where I would go. Or how to meet people. Or what to say!”

“That’s the problem with us therapists,” Sharon says. “We’re really best in a clinical setting. Shouldn’t be let out of the house, really. How about this; next time Richmond has some group event, you come. They’re a rowdy bunch, around your age, too. It’s an incredibly healthy environment, and you’ll be easily accepted. It will be a nice gateway to having a social life. There’s a match this weekend and they’re almost guaranteed a win, so keep your calendar open.”

You open your mouth to protest but Sharon holds up a hand. “I’m prescribing this as your mentor, not as your friend. It will be a healthy change of pace, I promise.”

—

Seeing AFC Richmond in person and off the pitch is like an out-of-body experience. 

You’re putting names to familiar faces, and getting a crash course on their personalities. 

You know Dani and Jan Maas from your short stint as their counselor, and they’ve taken it upon themselves to introduce you to everyone else. Dani is holding your elbow to guide you around to all sorts of people, and you can physically feel the serotonin production in your brain. 

You meet Higgins and his wife, the hosts of this barbecue as well as some of their children. It’s hard to miss them because they keep coming up to shoot Dani and Jan with nerf guns. They’re weirdly prepared, pulling out their own from thin air. 

“Don’t worry,” Jan says, “We’ll defend you.”

It’s very much like a large family gathering. You meet Richard, who kisses your hand and comments on your beauty. Zoreaux, who smiles and asks if you want anything to drink. Bumbercatch, who asks if you can read minds. And finally, Roy and Keeley who are standing in the kitchen and definitely were not kissing right before you walked in.

“This is one of our coaches,” Dani beams. “He and Keeley are very much in love, but they will not admit to  each other, least of all themselves.”

Roy says, “Oi!” while Keeley blushes. Jan shrugs.

“It’s true,” he says. “There is no point in dancing around it.”

“Fuck off!” says Roy, and Jan and Dani are saved from certain death by head-butt as Keeley steps between them and says, “It’s nice to meet you! We’re so glad you could come,” and wraps you in a tight hug.

She’s small, but she’s strong. You have trouble breathing for a moment in the best possible way.

“Heard you work for Dr. Sharon,” she says. “That’s got to be fucking difficult.”

You laugh. “Yeah, but not in the way you’d think,” you say. “I’d already sold my soul to my education long before I met her. She’s actually trying to help me get it back.”

Keeley grins. “Is that why you’re here then? To reinstate your soul?”

You’re cut off from replying by the appearance of someone new. This one is in Sharon’s picture too, standing in the middle slightly to the left and smiling with the tip of his tongue sticking out. You always thought he seemed like one who looked so happy and carefree because he actively chose to be that way.

“Who’s reinstatin’ their soul?” he asks, squeezing in between Dani and Keeley.

“This one here,” Keeley replies. “You met her yet? She’s Dr. Fieldstone’s protégé.”

“Oh,” you say. “No. Not really. I was just doing my internship with her, but I had to move because…” you hesitate.

“Because no one wanted to talk to her except me and Jan,” Dani helpfully fills in. 

Jan adds, “They were all intimidated by the fact that she is close to their age and so beautiful, as well stuck in their ways of having Dr. Sharon. Only Dani and I were willing to give her a chance, and she actually helped me through some important life decisions.”

You had? It hadn’t seemed that way at the time. You feel less crappy about your time at Nelson Road, though. It wasn’t like they didn’t like you, they just preferred to stick with what they know. That, you can understand.

“Mint,” Jamie says. “So you ain’t the team’s shrink anymore?”

Roy rolls his eyes. “Fucking observant, you are. She hasn’t been around in fucking ages.”

Jamie shrugs. “I was just checking!” he says defensively.

You smile. “It’s alright,” you say. “I’m sure you’re busy, and there’s always a lot of people coming and going.”

That seems to surprise Jamie. Almost as if he isn’t used to people defending him. You file his reaction away in your brain, adding it to your collection of knowledge about the football team that made Sharon zip across England for.

—

It’s been two and a half hours, and you’ve have more food and laughter than you’ve had in ages. Dani and Jan Maas had left your circle in the kitchen a while ago, fulfilling their promise to chase around the youngest Higgins boys as well as Roy’s niece Phoebe, and another girl who’s name you didn’t catch. Sam has joined your group now, and he and Jamie are funny together in a way that reminds you of your brothers. They’re constantly ragging on each other, teasing Roy, and throwing things.

Jamie, it seems, is the comedian of the group. You can tell he’s showing off, presumably because there’s a new face. When it’s time to eat, he says, “Stick with me, love, that way you don’t get stuck next to some uncultured animal,” even though Sharon is there and you’d be fine to sit with any of the boys.

But, he’s already grabbed your hand and is pulling you to a spot near Roy and Keeley as Sharon looks on with an amused expression. You send her a single pleading glance (although you’re not sure what you’re pleading for) and she just gives you a shooing motion. She’s happy to sit with Rebecca and her boyfriend. And someone who’s name you’re pretty sure is Coach Beard. 

Ever the gentleman, Jamie pulls out your chair for you before settling into his own. There are tables all throughout the house and a few in the front yard, and you’re glad he picked one outside. It’s a little cloudy, but nice weather.

And god, there are people. People who are talking to you, hugging you, tapping you on the arm and holding your hand, even if it is just to make sure you don’t get separated in the stampede to find seating. Your arms aren’t even a little sore, and you can feel Sharon’s observing eyes on you. You know for a fact she’s going to have a lot to say next time you have dinner, but for now all you can think about is the way Jamie’s arm is pressed against yours, as he leans in to explain a football term that Roy just used to threaten Jamie with.

—

You’re not sure how long this party is supposed to last, but it’s three hours later and there is no sign of stopping. The sun is just barely starting to dip, and time has lost all meaning. You don’t know if the meal you ate was supposed to be lunch or dinner but it doesn’t matter because you’re so full that you can barely make room for the pile of desserts that Mrs. Higgins has pulled out. 

You’ve moved inside now, since Jamie pulled you through the dessert line saying, “You have to come with me, so I can put my dessert on your plate. That way grandad can’t have a fit.” You understand that “grandad” is Roy.

You’re smart enough to notice that Jamie’s hand is in yours at every opportunity he can find, and that he’s still holding it even though you’ve finished your dessert and are flopped on a couch inside. He’s absentmindedly rubbing circles with his thumb as you chatter on about nothing. 

“Oi,” he says, when you’ve lapsed into silence, “is this alright?”

You’re not sure what he means until he holds up your still-intertwined hands.

“Keeley says I’m more touchy than most. Don’t want to fuckin’ weird you out or some shit.”

You smile. “You’re fine. It’s actually really nice.” You decide to leave it at that. No point in explaining touch-deprivation to the cute footballer you just met. Talk about oversharing.

Jamie smiles back, a real one that lights up his whole face.

“Mint,” he says.

—

“Jamie’s romantically interested in you,” says Sharon’s voice through the phone.

“How do you know that?” you ask. It’s the morning after the Higgins party and you only have a 2pm session. Sharon texted you to call her as soon as you woke up, so you do and she drops a bombshell on the first ring. You doubt Jamie would have told her this himself, as Dr. Fieldstone isn’t one to break a confidence.

“Basic body language,” she replies. “Repeated physical contact, the way his body was angled toward yours all day, the fact that he went out of his way to make you smile. All classic markers of romantic attraction. Any trained therapist should be able to pick up on it.”

What she means is, you’re a trained therapist. You should be picking up on it.

“There’s no way,” you say, but it comes out more doubtful than you’d hoped. 

“Right,” says Sharon, “there’s no way. In the same way that there’s no way I’m only mentoring you because I see myself in you.”

“Oh,” you reply weakly, because that’s a lot to unpack. 

“Oh,” she mimics. “Right. Well. I’ve got to go. Make sure you remember the mental exercises I gave you. Therapists need to take care of their minds too.”

You say thanks and hang up. 

Oh.

—

You’re home again from your session, and you are tired. It was mentally exhausting and all you can think about are the pair of sweatpants in the drawer by your bed and the box of pizza that should be at your flat in fifteen-to-twenty minutes. That was about thirteen minutes ago, and you’ve just been puttering about since placing the call and changing out of work clothes. 

There’s a knock on the door and you say a quiet yes, before hurrying to answer. You open the door to two people on your doorstep instead of one.

“This your pizza?” the delivery boy asks. You nod, thank him, and hand him the money. He’s gone so you acknowledge the other person in front of you.

“How’d you know where I live?”

Jamie shrugs. “Asked Dr. Fieldstone. She isn’t as scary as she looks.”

“And why are you here?”

You place the pizza down on the small table in your entryway. It hasn’t escaped your notice that Jamie is practically standing in your doorframe now, inches away from you.

He wraps his hands in the front of his shirt. “Isaac was telling me about body science,” he says. “Been teaching me how to read people and shit based on how they move.”

You nod. Body language. Yeah, you know a thing or two about that.

“Anyway, he said you thought I was proper fit. Which is good, because I think you’re proper fit. But, just in case he were wrong, I thought I’d come over and give you a chance to tell me.”

His left hand is on the doorframe now, and you can see the top of his tattoo peeking out from under his bright orange hoodie. There is exactly one inch between you two as he slants his body toward yours.

“You can tell me to bugger off, if you want,” he murmurs. “Won’t hurt my feelings.”

You don’t say anything, just stand on your toes the tiniest bit so he has better access to your mouth. 

You can feel his breath when he pulls away.

“Oh,” he says, “I didn’t come here for sex. Me mum raised a gentleman. I’d buy you a coupla dinners first.”

“Shut up and kiss me already, Tartt,” you say, and he’s grinning, free hand cupping the back of your head.

—

You think that’s probably the fastest you’ve ever gotten into a relationship.

“Labels are important, babe,” Jamie had said that night. “How else will you know if food is poisonous?”

You’re pretty sure he’s talking about checking for allergens, but you don’t correct him. You’re on your couch watching a movie with his arm around your shoulders. He’s playing with strands of your hair and it’s strange that you’re this comfortable with a boy you just met yesterday.

Because he is a boy. You’re the same age, but you feel impossibly, inadequately young. He plays it off as youthful exuberance, and you’re sure it’s an advantage on the pitch. Your age doesn’t feel like an advantage to you, but you can’t change it so you might as well just deal with what you’ve got.

You can be professional in the morning, but right now you’ve got a cute, fit boy who thinks you’re cute and fit and so far has not given off red flags. You’re extra alert ever since your call with Sharon, trying to pick up on every subtlety, but you stop trying as soon as Jamie rolls up a piece of pizza like a burrito and tries to fit it all in his mouth. You know that Sharon would have been the first to tell you if this was a bad idea, and the fact that she even told you Jamie was interested is basically like her giving her blessing.

Jamie leaves too soon, but he does so with your number in his phone and the promise of “a proper date,” as soon as you both can manage.

—

“A proper date,” turned into two proper dates, then three, then four, then seeing each other steadily throughout the weeks, then your first sleepover after the third week. Your skin was all tingly when Jamie invited you over to his for dinner, telling you he was going to cook for you. You knew exactly what was going to happen that night and made sure you were prepared. 

You dressed nice, in clothes that gave him easy access to your skin underneath. 

“Am I rushing this?” you had asked Sharon the day before. “I’m asking you as my mentor. Am I being an idiot?”

Sharon had taken a moment to consider before answering. “You’re smart for your age. And wise beyond your years. I don’t think you’re being an idiot. We can’t let our work consume us, no matter how important it is. You’re a brilliant therapist. You’re always giving yourself away to those around you. You deserve something for yourself, and you know how to pick a good one.”

You hugged her for those words. She seemed startled, but accepted it. You didn’t think life could get much better. 

You were wrong. You discovered life could be so much better the moment Jamie’s hand slid under your skirt and you were kicking off your shoes on the way up the stairs. 

“Stay,” he whispered when you were done. “It’s fuckin’ late anyway. You can use my shower and wear one of my shirts. I have an extra toothbrush. I fucking hate sleeping alone.”

So you’re in one of his t-shirts and your underwear, arms wrapped around Jamie’s waist. 

You think what am I doing? but Jamie presses a soft, sleepy kiss to your temple and you think maybe you’re doing something right.

—

It’s been a hell of a week. You’re swamped, Jamie’s always at training, and neither of you have been able to make the time to see the other in days. Your inner arms are sore again, and your dinners with Sharon have been short and extremely clinical in a way you desperately need. However, once-a-week therapy is not enough to get rid of the feeling you have, and you wake up throughout the night holding your pillow as if it were Jamie. 

You’ve gotten used to having his hand in yours, your head on his shoulder, knees touching and arms wrapped tight around your body. Having it taken away is worse than before, because at least then you didn’t really know what you were missing. Now, you feel as if you’re going to die unless someone does something, even if it’s just a high-five. 

You’re sitting at your kitchen table, one knee pulled up to your chest as you review case notes. Your food has gone cold because all you can do is cry. You’re so tired and so lonely and it shouldn’t be this way, but it is and you’re just over it. There’s a knock at the door so you wipe your eyes and answer it, hoping you look normal.

It’s Jamie.

The moment you register who it is, you’re launching yourself into his arms, wrapping around him like a spider monkey. He laughs. “Hello to you too,” he says, spinning you around. He stops when he feels you shaking in his arms. 

“Oi,” he says, frowning a little, “you alright, love?”

He can feel tears on his neck.

“Babe,” he says, “did something happen at work?”

You shake your head, face still buried into the crook of his neck. “I just missed you,” you croak, voice muffled.

Jamie chuckles at that. You’re lucky he’s strong, because he’s able to carry you to the couch like it’s nothing, kicking the door shut behind him without losing his balance. He settles with you in his arms, rubbing a pattern on your back. 

“It’s alright, love, I’m here,” he says, and you’ve never been more grateful for the fact that he calls you love more than your actual name. It’s like he’s always reminding you how he feels about you.

You just hold him tighter, letting the terrible feeling you had all week fade away. When it’s mostly gone, you pull away so you can look him in the face.

“I- I have this thing,” you say. Jamie looks concerned.

“Are you dyin’?” he asks.

“No!” you reply. “No, I’m not dying. I have- I’m touch-deprived. I let it get really bad sometimes and then I can physically feel it. You can look it up, it’s a real thing.” You don’t know why you feel the need to defend yourself. Jamie’s just looking at you, all quiet seriousness.

“That what it’s called?” he asks. “I know what you mean. Fucking had it two years ago. Used to egg Roy on just so he’d push me around and the lads’d have to hold me back. Wasn’t near me mum anymore, so I didn’t have anyone to hug me or anything. Sounds dumb, but… I just needed someone to touch me. Like if they didn’t, it meant I didn’t exist. Fucking mental.”

“Mental,” you agree.

Jamie smiles. “You’re the fucking best, you know that?” he asks. “I’m never bored when I’m with you. Came over to see if you wanted to watch a movie or play video games.” 

He’s stroking your cheek with one hand, other still wrapped around your back.

You smile back. “I really, really love you Jamie Tartt. I’ll play video games, I just don’t want to play FIFA.”

Jamie’s smile drops. “Shit,” he says, and you think it’s because you don’t want to play his favorite video game. “You weren’t supposed to say it first, I was. I was gonna tell you tonight anyway.”

“It’s not a big deal, babe,” you say.

“No.” He shakes his head. “It’s a big fuckin’ deal. Now I’ve got to make it up to you.”

“No you don’t,” you say.

“Yes I do,” he replies. “I’m gonna tell you every fucking day how much I love you. I’ll drive home early from away games just to hug you. I want you to always feel like you have the love you deserve.”

You’re at a loss for words.

“Cat got your tongue, don’t it?” Jamie asks cheekily. “Not a problem, babe. I know how to get it back.”

[whimsical-roasting]

okay just imagine being friends with colin and jamie being like slightly jealous

okay so i’m thinking about doing like a psych major!reader who shadows Dr Sharon at the football club for experience and ends up having a thing with Jamie... like Jamie asks for her to tutor him on psych knowledge and being a better person and ofc they lowkey fall for each other but don’t know it... 

ANYWAYS AROUND THAT PLOT LINE... the reader and Colin end up as bffs (lowkey spoilers for Colin’s info in s3?).. also my bestie is @sokkigarden and i love and appreciate her support

okay, so reader is shadowing Dr Sharon and Colin is so nice that he consents to her sitting in on the session since Dani was a bit too traumatised to have any silent observers 

she doesn’t speak and tries not to make too much eye contact but when they do lock eyes, she gives him a soft smile, and he returns it

after the session, now only 3 people know Colin’s gay... him, her, and Dr Sharon. when she catches his eye at the end of the session, she does a little lock and key motion to her lips as if to say ‘my lips are sealed, promise’ with a soft smile, and he smiles and nods

the reader is usually extroverted and chatty but remains professional - not really interacting with the boys unless necessary (obvi Ted won’t have any of it, but that’s a diff point) so Colin isn’t too fussed about her...plus, she seems genuinely nice

in the next couple of weeks, the reader bumps into Colin in the hallway and goes, “oh!! Colin, I was out on the weekend and saw this and thought of you, so um, here :))” and nervously passes him a small pocketbook of affirmations since Dr Sharon instructed him to reaffirm “I am a strong and capable man”

he grins and thanks her, and then BOOM, they’re now good friends. he offers to drop her home when her Uber cancels, and they blast Taylor Swift and rap to Drake 

now fast forward a while when Jamie asks the reader to tutor him in psych/therapy, and it is a funny exchange:

Jamie: you’re uh, good at this psych shit huh?

Reader: uhh, you mean the 4+ years I’ve dedicated to this degree? Yea, I kinda hope I’m good at this psych shit

Jamie: can you help me do better at therapy?

Reader: um,, therapy is more of a personal thing.. you kinda do better yourself

Jamie: oh, then what do you do :/

Reader: -_-

Jamie:  no no, I didn't mean it like that, fuck sorry

Reader: I can tell you about tools and theories that can HELP YOU help yourself 

Jamie: yea yea.. that. let's do that, I want that

Reader: this isn't a drive thru, Tartt, you can't just ask like it's a dollar menu

anyways,, she agrees bc experience yea totally it’s the resume experience and not cause he has a cute thinking face and emotional intelligence is hot or anything like that

so they’re like a month in with this whole ‘tutoring’ thing and she’s at his place and he notices a childish bracelet on her wrist.. he seems to notice a lot about her but he tells himself it’s cause he’s getting more self-awareness (lmao dumbass, SELF-awareness has nothing to do with HER hair, eyes, and new accessories but sure)

okay the next day in the locker room, he sees Colin w the same bracelet??? so he asks and Colin’s all like, “it’s a friendship bracelet, boyo!” and Jamie just kinda nods not replying before they head out onto the pitch

next time he and the reader are tutoring he asks why she and Colin are wearing the same bracelet thingy...she tells him it’s a friendship thingy and she made it for the both of them.... Jamie just kinda stares and goes ‘where’s mine.’ 

she blinks at him and tilts her head, “are we friends?” and his mouth falls open “we’re fuckin not???” he questions, slightly offended. and she’s all like “no no, ofc we are... but maybe just not friendship bracelet level friends” 

Jamie fights back a pout, but there’s a crease in the middle of his brows and she wants to lean forward to flatten it with her thumb but fights the urge

there’s silence for a moment...

“when you upgradin meh?”

[matan4il]

Daily update post:

An Israeli law draft that would prohobit UNRWA's activity in Israel passed a very primal stage of legislation. It still has a long way until it will become law (it would still have to pass 3 readings, as well as the Knesset committees), but if before Oct 7 it probably would not stand a chance, after the mounting evidence of the symbiotic nature between Hamas and UNRWA, it has a better chance than ever.

Speaking of the UN being despicable, and in cahoots with antisemitic, genocidal terrorists, we now have Martin Griffiths, the UN Relief Chief, saying that he does not consider Hamas a terrorist organization. Just wondering, if an organization targeting civilians, raping women, maiming children, beheading babies, burning entiree families together, shooting and kidnapping elderly Holocaust survivors, isn't a terrorist organization, what in the world does Hamas need to do to be recognized as such!?

You might have heard that Israel is operating in the Nasser hospital in Gaza. There's a reason for that, which was addressed by the IDF spokesperson: Israel has intel, including from released hostages, that Hamas kept kidnapped Israelis (and possibly kidnapped bodies) in that hospital. I've actually found one testimony from a released hostage, Sharon Cunyo, talking about this to CNN's Anderson Cooper. The vid is here (page in Spanish, but the vid is in English).

I cannot stress enough how much our hearts hurt for our Jewish brothers and sisters around the world, suffering from this current rise in antisemitism. We've now heard that in the UK, a doctor who has described Jewish colleagues as having a "big nose," and who said that a London borough would be better off "Jew free" was found to be not racist, and could continue to practice medicine. This ties in with a new report that shows the number of antisemitic incidents in the UK is the highest it's been in 40 years, with 67% of these taking place after Oct 7, and maybe most importantly, the initial peak in antisemitic acts was a celebration of Hamas' massacre, rather than any sort of reaction to the war in Gaza.

Meanwhile, in the US congress, a bipartisan resolution passed, condemning Hamas' use of rape and sexual violence on Oct 7 (and since, when it comes to the hostages). Which is incredible and needed, even if it only has a symbolic meaning. Still, guess who couldn't stomach defending the human rights of Israelis, even when it comes to rape, even when it had no practical meaning? Rashida Tlaib, once more doing the US proud.

These are (left to right) Yair Cohen, Ziv Chen, and Netanel Alkobi.

On Oct 7, they were among the soldiers who got to kibbutz Nir Yitzchak, and saved the majority of its people from being slaughtered. They stayed to guard the kibbutz since (as the border fence has not yet been completely fixed), and only recently entered Gaza. The other day, they were killed in a building booby trapped by Hamas in Khan Younis. As heartbreaking is it was to hear their families talk about them, it was also painful to hear interviews with kibbutz members, who had lost so much, who have had loved ones in captivity for over 4 months, and who were just as devastated as the families, when they recognized the three as their savior heroes.

May their memories be a blessing.

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)

[venusjaynie]

wish you were sober

Pairing: College!Frat!Bucky x Fem!reader

summary: you've had a crush on your roommate, Bucky, for a while, and after rescuing him from a party while he's drunk for what feels like the 1000th time, you finally admit your feelings.

Content Warning: friends with feelings situation, sexual tension, strong language, pet-names (angel, baby etc.), alcoholism, drunk bucky, parties, angst, fluff, mentions of puking (no actual puking)

word count: 2k

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"C'mon, Angel, please come with us?" Bucky asks, tugging on your arm. You roll your eyes, yet a playful smile toys at your lips.

"I said no, Buck. If you wanna go, then go. No one's stopping you. But I'm not going. I don't wanna deal with a tequila drunk Bucky Barnes all night." You tell him, gently removing your hand from his grip. His face falls immediately.

"I promise I won't get drunk this time. I swear I-" He's cut of by a loud laugh from Sam.

"Bullshit! You know as well as I do that you won't last 10 minutes before you're wasted, Barnes." Sam says. You agree.

"See Bucky, even Sam agrees. I'm tired. I'm not going, and that's final." You tell him, defiantly. "And don't you have that biology exam tomorrow?"

"I already studied for that! If you don't wanna come that's fine, but I swear I won't get drunk." Bucky remarks, a pointed look on his face.

"Even if I'm not there?" You ask.

"Even if you aren't there." You eye him suspiciously, but believe him nonetheless.

"Have fun, call me if you need me, yeah?" Bucky nods in response. He looks deflated, but bids you goodbye with a kiss on the cheek which absolutely does not make you blush, despite Sam's insistence that it in fact, does.

------------------------------------------------------------

Turns out, you not going to the party was not final. After a few hours of you watching TV in the living room of you apartment, Bucky calls you, begging you to come and pick him up.

30 minutes and 3 rounds of shots, which you did not participate in, later, you're taking care of an extremely drunk Bucky. He smiling stupidly at you and is babbling about nonsense, while you try to coax him into the car.

"You'll never guess what Wanda said to Sharon-" He cuts off his own sentence with drunken laughter.

"Bucky- just get in- Jesus Christ, would you sit down and put the seatbelt on, please?" You say as you shove him into the car, being mindful of his head.

"And then-" He, again, interrupts himself with giggles. "And then Sam- he spilled an entire bottle of vodka right down Sharon's shirt! It was so fucking funny, babe. You shoulda- You shoulda been there!" He spirals off into another giggling fit as you finally get him into the car and he lets you buckle his seatbelt. You close the passenger door with a sigh and walk to your side of the car, sitting down and starting the vehicle.

The car ride is mainly silent, save for Bucky's occasional giggling or whining about something that gone down at the party. You stay silent, keeping your eyes on the road, and even in his drunken state, Bucky can tell he's fucked up.

He thinks for a moment, not wanting to anger you any further and make the situation worse.

"Angel?" He asks, somewhat quietly. You nod. "Are you mad at me?" He almost whispers.

You don't say anything.

"You're mad." It's a statement, yet he poses it as a question. He sounds so sad, you almost feel bad for him.

"And you're drunk." You say.

"What?! No I'm not!" He replies.

You sigh, before asking, "How much did you drink tonight?"

"Uh- I did, like, 3 rounds of, uh, tequila shots. I did the keg challenge- you know the one from Stranger Things-" You cut him off with an unimpressed look. He chuckles nervously, but continues. "That's irrelevant. I had, maybe, 2 cups of Jack and coke..." He trails off as you stop at a red light and turn to face him.

You sigh. "You promised, James." His eyes widen at the use of his first name, and he immediately knows he fucked up.

"I know I did. M'sorry. I just got carried away... again." He sends a resentful look in your direction. You turn away from him. The lights turn green and you continue the car ride to your house.

After a while, Bucky speaks up. "I-uh- I don't feel so good." He says, swallowing, hard.

"There's a bottle of water in the glove compartment. James, if you puke in my car I'm never speaking to you again. If you need me to pull over, tell me. We are not having another Fulton Street incident." You tell him, deadly serious. He takes the water from the glove compartment and sips it. Thankfully, he doesn't puke in the car, and you soon turn into the car parking area back on campus, which luckily, is close to the frat house you share with the boys and Nat.

Bucky gets out first, and stumbles and trips his way over to the path leading up to the house. Sighing, you do the same, minus the stumbling and falling, and make your way over to him. As you arrive at the front door of the house, you pull the key from your pocket, and the little keychain picture of you and Bucky clinks on the metal of the door handle as you open it.

Once inside the house, Bucky immediately goes to the kitchen. You take off your coat and shoes at the door, and follow him.

He's getting another beer from the fridge.

"Bucky, what the hell are you doing?" You whisper-shout.

"I'm getting a beer." He says, loudly.

"Lower your voice. Everyone else is sleeping." You say, almost irritated.

"Sorry, Angel." He giggles. He opens the beer and moves to take a swig of it, but you're faster than him in his drunken state and you manage to take the beer from him before he can consume anymore alcohol. "Hey!"

"You need to go to sleep, c'mon." You take his hand and practically drag him to his room, reminding him to keep quiet as you walk past the other bedrooms. When you reach Bucky's room, you go in to help him get ready, but he simply flops onto the bed and attempts to pull you with him.

"No, James, you need to get changed." He groans, but sits up anyway. You help him out of his clothes, and into a pair of plaid pyjama pants, but he refuses to wear a shirt.

"Alright, no shirt. Go brush your teeth. I'm gonna go back to my room, 'kay? Night, Bucky." You make a move to leave, but he grabs your hand before you can get very far.

"Don't go. Stay here tonight." He gives you his best puppy dog eyes, which he knows you can't say no to, and you roll your eyes, but sit down on the bed anyway. He grins cheekily before getting up to brush his teeth, not letting go of your hand and consequently dragging you in there with him. "There's a spare toothbrush in the cabinet." He mumbles, his toothbrush still in his mouth, and you reach over to grab the one he's talking about. As you're brushing your teeth, you catch Bucky's eye in the mirror. He's already looking at you, and before you look away he winks at you, grinning like the Cheshire cat. You can't help but laugh, and the faint tint of pink on your cheeks makes Bucky smirk and raise his eyebrows at you slightly. Even in his drunken state he notices those little things about you. He can't help it. He's infatuated by everything you do.

After brushing your teeth, you lightly pull at Bucky's arm to guide him to his bed, and he goes pliant at your touch. Before getting into bed, though, he goes to his wardrobe, albeit stumbling on his way, and pulls out one of his old jerseys for you.

"Here. You can't sleep in your clothes." You take it from him, thanking him, and you make a start to the bathroom until Bucky stops you. "Just change in here, angel. I think we've known each other long enough to get changed in the same room." He laughs as he says it, and you can't help but laugh too. You contemplate his offer for a moment, and then you remind yourself that he probably won't even remember this tomorrow morning, so you set the jersey on the bed and begin to undress yourself. You notice Bucky not-so-subtly watching you, so you clear your throat to get his attention.

"No peaking, pervy. Cover your eyes."

"Alright, alright. Don't get your panties in a twist." He uses his hands to cover his eyes, and you continue to get changed, and soon enough you notice that he's looking through the gaps in his fingers, but you don't bother to tell him you can see him, too tired to deal with that shit at 2am. You do your best to ignore his watchful eyes, but you can't, however, ignore the quiet intake of breath that comes from his direction when you take your shirt off, exposing your bra clad chest. Not wanting to encourage his ogling, you quickly slip the jersey over your head.

"Alright, you can look now." You tell him, and he removes his hands from his face and pulls back the covers of the bed, and you climb in beside him. You've slept in the same bed before, so being this close to Bucky shouldn't feel weird, but as you settle down in the bed and he shuffles closer to you, the feeling of his breath fanning on your neck, and the arm that's somehow circled your waist and pulled you into him all in the span of 10 seconds has you feeling slightly overwhelmed. You've had a crush on Bucky since you moved in with him and the others, which was a year ago. So being this close to him has turned the butterflies in your stomach that you feel when you're around him into a zoo enclosure of elephants and zebras and giraffes, and they're all chasing each other and causing your insides to flip around all over the place. It's fucking annoying. You're pulled out of your thoughts by Bucky's voice breaking the silence in the room.

"Thanks for tonight. Sorry you have to deal with this." His words are quiet, and you don't really know how to respond, because frankly, as much as you may complain about having to deal with Bucky when he's drunk, part of you doesn't mind taking care of him when he's like this.

"Don't worry about it. I'm your friend, it's kind've my job."

"Correction: you're my best friend." You giggle and he doesn't say anything else for a while, and you've closed your eyes, ready to sleep by the time he pipes up again.

"Angel? Can I tell you something?" You crack open one eye as he moves away from your back and turns you over by the hip in the process.

"Sure."

"I think you're really fucking pretty." He whispers it, and his face is inches from yours, and blood rushes to your cheeks while the elephants, zebras and giraffes in your stomach to backflips off the walls.

"You, uh, you shouldn't say shit like that when you're plastered."

"I know. But drunk words are sober thoughts. Isn't that what you told me that time I told Maddie I didn't like her when I was drunk and then she got all pissed at me and I blamed it on the alcohol?" You nodded at his question. "I really like you. Like, really."

"I really like you, too, but I don't wanna do this when you're drunk, so we'll talk about it in the morning, yeah?"

"Alright. Alcohol doesn't change how I feel about you, though." You smile at him, and he tilts his head up and kisses your forehead. "Night, babe."

"Goodnight, Bucky." You turn around again and his arm wraps around your waist as it did before, and he pulls you flush against him.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The sound of Bucky's 8.30am alarm pulls you from your sleep. You slept well throughout the night, even though you ended up with a 6'2" hockey player lying half across you. When Bucky wakes up, though, he doesn't make a move to get off of you, and just makes his head more comfortable against your chest. You turn the lamp on beside his bed, and he groans, shutting his eyes even tighter and covering them with his arm, and you laugh at his actions.

"Don't laugh. I'm in pain." He says, dramatically.

"Oh, shut it. You're hung over. C'mon, lets get you some Tylenol and a coffee." He groans again as you try to sit up, and wraps both his arms around your waist to pull you back, and you're giggling at him again. "James, c'mon. It's 8.30. Your bio exam is in an hour and a half, and you need to be on campus in an hour to get signed in."

"Ugh, fine!" He rolls his eyes, but gets out of bed and goes to walk to the kitchen, and you stand up to follow him.

"Woah, don't get pissy with me. I'm not the one who thought it would be a good idea to get drunk the night before an exam."

"Shut up."

By the sounds of the conversation, it doesn't seem like Bucky remembers the confession he made last night, and you can't say you're surprised. The cuddling may have been an indicator that what he said was true, but the two of you have quite a touchy, almost flirtatious, friendship so it doesn't really confirm anything for you.

Bucky must notice that you seem lost in thought, and it's almost like he can read your mind.

"Hey, I remember what we talked about last night. We'll talk about it as soon as I get home, okay? Trust me, I wouldn't forget something like that." His words put you at ease slightly, and you nod, smiling. "And, for the record, I meant it. All of it."

You look up at him.

"Me too."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

this has been in my drafts for like 6 months ngl but anyways here you go <3

[bluehourbucky]

Question...

pairing: bucky x reader

summary: bucky has been acting suspicious so you finally ask him where he's spending his nights/ more like with who

tw: cheating; gaslighting; angst;

a/n: not proof read/ English is not my first language so pls be nice /

suffice to say this was very vagely inspired by taylor swifts song question

MASTERLIST

part 2

"IT'S JUST A QUESTION!" you yelled at your soon to be ex, Bucky.

You were in the middle of an argument with your boyfriend, who you have been suspicious of for a while, and you have finally snapped and asked the question.

"I already told you. I had reports to write." another lie has come through Buckys mouth and it took everything in you not to leave without fighting.

Bucky has been coming home later and later every night for the last couple of months, you tried to trust him, and you did at the beginning, but whatever has been going on it has been going on a while.

"How dare you lie to me! Everyone knows! Our friends look at me like I'm the biggest idot on Earth! Do you understand how embarrassing that is!?" your voice cracking, tears ready to spill.

The party you had attended last night had been the breaking point, worst of all it was your own birthday party.

☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆

It was almost midnight and your birthday was approaching, party had been going on for two hours by now, and you were enjoying yourself.

Greetings and hugs were exchanged, lots of dancing during your favourite songs. Everything was perfect, well almost, Bucky still hasn't arrived and you were starting to think he won't come at all. A message notification gets your attention. Speak of the devil.

bucky: sorry doll be there soon love you

"Hey, you okay?" Natasha had asked you seeing your face fall. You faked a smile and pulled her to the dance floor, not in the mood to talk about it, today was supposed to be a good day.

Bucky arrives 10 minutes later, unfortunately not alone, he arrived with Sharon. Sharon has been a good friend of everyone in the group, and you liked her she was very nice to you, but recently you've had this bad feeling.

Bucky runs up to you, picks you up, and kisses you. It was easy to forget that you're angry and disappointed when he kisses you like that.

The moment is ruined when you hear people laugh. Bucky looks at the time and pulls away. You stand there feeling embarrassed, with everyone's eyes on you, you disassociate. Your hands grow cold even though you're sweating, music making you overwhelmed, but you just can't move.

Only when you feel Buckys hands on you, you're pulled back to reality. He starts leading you to the table where your cake stands, everyone starts clapping and singning happy birthday, the candles on the cake burning, their light reflecting in your teary eyes.

No one notices that they're not tears of joy, because why would they? It's your birthday you can't be sad on your special day.

You blow out the candles, and as soon as the cake is cut, you run outside to take a breath of fresh air in hopes of it calming you down.

You're not outside for long before you hear two familiar voices talking.

"Do you have to go? It's still early." Buckys voice echoes though the empty alley way, where the exit from the place is. He doesn't notice you sitting away in the corner on some empty wooden boxes, despite his senses.

"I gotta go. Tomorrow same time?" Sharon replies and Bucky nods and waves goodbye, she sits down in the uber and drives away....

You sit there trying to process this, trying to convince yourself that it's all in your head, it doesn't mean anything, but you know that's not true and you're done.

The time flies and it's time to go home, and on the way to the apartment you barely say anything, which Bucky takes as you being tired.

But as soon as you step into the apartment you finally ask

"How long have you been fucking Sharon?"

☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆

Bucky still doesn't look at you and tries to brush you off but you weren't having it, so you pull him by the shirt.

"Look at me,when you're talking to me!" you say through gritted teeth before noticing a row hickeys on Buckys neck making you drop the shirt instantly.

You're speechless, your hand covers your mouth trying to hold off the sob that was about to escape.

Bucky also stays unmoving not knowing how to get out of this, he didn't mean to,it wasn't supposed to happen.

The first time it happened it was after one of the work parties, he was drunk, Sharon was drunk and mistakes were made. He planned on telling you but he just couldn't. You're too kind too sweet and didn't deserve to have your heart broken.

It was eating him up, but he couldn't let you find out, so after finishing a report he goes to Sharon's office to tell her that what happened the night before was a mistake and wouldn't happen again, he asked her to keep the secret from everyone. However he had found himself once again in her bed, and it just never stopped.

It's not that Bucky didn't love you, he did or that's what he kept telling himself. He didn't mean for it to go this far but now it's too late.

"I'm sorry." Bucky finally says after deafening silence that's been going on for far too long.

You're still frozen in place not knowing what to do. Bucky is the man you thought you would marry, spend the rest of your life with. You were sure he was the one, all the smiles and laughs he gave you, the late night kisses, the pillow forts, the promises.... Everything crashing down on you all at once.

"How long? Please tell me the truth, you owe me that much." Your voice just above a whisper.

"Four months."

Buckys answer doesn't surprise you, but it does break you. You don't say anything just nod and start to pack your bags. Bucky doesn't do anything to stop you, he just stays out of your way. And you leave without another word.

☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆

/month later/

It took a while for you to get used to living alone, since you've been living with Bucky for the last 3 years. You hadn't had the time to mourn the loss of you relationship as you were too busy adjusting.

There were unfortunately things you had yet to pick up from yours and Buckys place, and today was the day you're finally going back, for the first time since that day.

As much as it hurt you to go back you really needed your stuff. You text Bucky you're close and he replies with an okay. If you had kept your key the night you left you wouldn't have to see him but alas.

"Hey." Bucky openes the door and greets you, but you just walk past him towards the bedroom.

"I hadn't touched anything. I haven't even slept in our bed." you cringe at the words *our bed* but still say nothing.

Bucky hovers around the door watching you pack, which makes you nervous, not an emotion you ever thought would be caused by him.

"Are you still with her?" you shamefully ask while picking up a dress Bucky got you for your first anniversary, deciding it was better not to bring it.

"Yeah." Bucky says quietly opting not to lie, even though you wish he had lied.

"That's nice. I'm sure that's suitable." you reply swallowing hard.

It doesn't take more than half an hour to pack the rest of your stuff, you pick up the suit case and look around, your heart breaking more every passing second.

Bucky asks if you need help, you deny it quickly and head for the door.

As soon as door opens, you walk out without turning around or saying goodbye. He doesn't deserve it and you both know it.

|the end|

part 2

hope you enjoyed <3

comments and reblogs are very much appreciated <3

[badingsm]

can i request something filipino?like filo reader brings nat in the ph and then they try street foods??

The Proposal Series — II. Immigration, Homecoming, Romanoff

Hi Anon! I hope it's okay to combine your request with my little series! Also, sorry for the delay; I got really busy with school. And oh, credits to The Proposal movie, especially the script and the plot, because obviously that's where this story will go!

"1023, 1024, 1025, 1026-"

"Will you please shut up?" Natasha snapped from beside you, her sunglasses covering half of her face as you both rode her car to the immigration office. "God, you're so annoying!"

"I'm sorry, if somebody's annoying here, it would definitely be you!" You muttered lowly with a frown before looking at her directly in the eyes. "This is so fucking illegal."

"Where's the fun with always being on the legal side?"

"I'm not going to marry you, Natasha." The first name basis was such a bold move for you to do, but with the pressure, fear, and everything that you've been feeling, you couldn't care less, causing the latter to glare at you with those forest gems that she owned.

"Sure you are." Was the last thing that she replied before her side of the door was opened by the driver, leaving you frustrated with her attitude and everything about her.

You followed Natasha inside, and there you saw the really long line that made your boss curse to herself. Just as you were about to go and line up, Natasha had already left your side, instead opting to go straight to the counter and making the people (who have been waiting for so long) groan in annoyance.

"The line.."

"Shut up and just follow." She instructed as if you're her dog that she could boss around everywhere and anytime she pleases. The next person on the line was about to approach the personnel, but Natasha had already taken her spot with a simple glare. The older woman immediately backed away. "I just need to ask him something."

"Hi!" You smiled apologetically. "Sorry for the..."

"I need for you to file this fiancé visa for me," Natasha said to the in-charge worker at the cubicle, the latter shaking his head in annoyance but nonetheless accepting the papers that you've brought. "Thanks."

"Miss Romanoff?" Cris, as you saw from his name tag, read through the file.

Natasha nodded in confirmation, "Yeah."

"Please come with me."

-

"I want to puke," You whispered in the silence that fell into the room. You were led into an office where papers for people's visas and such are being processed. "I have a bad feeling about this."

Knock! Knock! Knock!

"Morning, lovebirds!" A man came in, and you were guessing that he's probably in his early 40s. "I'm Mister Loki Laufeyson, and you must be Y/n.." He faced you, making you answer with a small nod because you were still unsure about everything that's been happening recently. "And you must be Miss.."

"Romanoff." Natasha continued with a subtle eye roll because she knew deep inside that she would hate this man for the rest of her life.

"Yes." Loki nodded. "Sorry about the wait. It's a busy day today, as you can see from the long line."

"Yeah, yeah." Your boss cut him off. "And we appreciate you for seeing us on such short notice."

Insert sarcasm.

It's her nature, and she can't help it anymore.

"Okay." The older man shrugged and began sitting on his chair. "Blablablablablablabla.."

You watched him through uncertain eyes as he surveyed all the files that you were tasked to prepare at the last minute before you both came here for this shit.

"So I have one question for you," Loki sighed. "Are you both committing fraud to avoid her deportation? And so she could keep her position in the company?"

"That's... that's ridiculous."

"Where did you get that?" Natasha squinted her eyes, scoffing sarcastically but subtly.

"We had a phone tip this afternoon from a woman named-"

"Sharon." The redhead guessed correctly.

"Sharon Carter." The man agreed impressively.

"Poor Sharon. I'm sorry, you see.." Natasha faked sympathy, remaining standing by the side with her phone clutched tightly against her palm. "Sharon is nothing but a disgruntled employee that I just fired because of her tardiness and laziness. I believe this is just her way for some childish revenge for me… And we know that your department is very busy, so if you just give us the next step, we'll be out of your hair and on our way."

"Miss Romanoff, please." Loki gestured the chair for the redhead to sit, which she obeyed immediately. "Let me explain the process that's about to unfold. Step one will be a scheduled interview. I'll put you into a room where I ask every little question that a real couple should know about each other."

"Mm." You gulped nervously.

"Step two: I dig deeper. I look at your phone records. Talk to your neighbors. Interview your co-workers about your relationship." Loki said firmly, "And if your answers don't match up, you." He pointed at Natasha, "Will be deported immediately."

"Hm.." Natasha nodded with a shrug.

"And you, young lady." You think he's flirting with you when he turns to your side, but it's gone as soon as you blink your eyes, swallowed by the nerves settling in. "Will have committed a felony punishable by a fine of $250,000 and a vacation of five years in the federal prison."

The weight of everything had finally sunk in, and you felt the sweat building up intensely against your chest, your hairline, your armpits—your whole body.

"So," Loki fake-whispered, scrutinizing you with his gaze as if he's challenging you and wants you to give in already. "Wanna tell me something?"

At first, you shook your head, thinking about how you would lose your job and how everything that you've worked hard for (including dealing with the unbearable attitude of Natasha for three years) would come to waste, but then you also remembered that you didn't want to end up in jail for that long, making you nod your head a little bit to answer him.

"Yes?" He questioned, not paying attention to Natasha's foot stomping yours with her heels underneath the table, causing you to shake your head, silently signaling the redhead to stop it already. "No?"

"The truth is.." You cleared your hoarse throat, gathering all your thoughts and setting aside your emotions until further time. "Mr. Laufeyson, the truth is.."

Meanwhile, Natasha sat there with a clenched jaw, looking back and forth between you and Loki, waiting for the outcome of what your next words might bring, but to her surprise, it came out well for her side, especially when you spoke again.

"Natasha and I..." You breathed out deeply, nervously plucking the skin on your fingers beneath the view of this man. "Are just two people who weren't supposed to be in love but did. The reason we can't tell anyone we work with is because of my promotion that's coming up, and we don't want them to think that I only got that because we're in a relationship... We don't want that, of course."

"Promotion?" Natasha raised her brow.

You continued, feeling more confident this time, "We both felt that it wouldn't be the right time to reveal everything, so we kept our relationship secret to everyone. As I said, we don't want them to think that I'm getting promoted just because we are... you know."

"So," He mumbled. "Do your parents know about this?"

"Uh, parents. Don't have one." Natasha quickly cut in, "Adaptive ones, sure, but we've lost contact since I was just a child. Technically, no parents on my side to tell this about."

Loki faced you, "And you? Are your parents dead?"

"No." Your boss answered easily for you, "Hers are very much alive, and oh, in fact, we're actually planning to tell them this weekend on her Lola's 90th birthday celebration. The whole family's coming together, and we thought it'd be a nice surprise."

This eavesdropping woman!

"And where is this party happening?" Loki questioned eagerly to Natasha, like he just sensed something as he squinted his eyes for some flaws in Natasha's words.

"At Y/n's parents house, of course." The Russian answered confidently with a small chuckle.

"And where is that located again?" He pushed, making Natasha mentally curse herself and the man in front of her.

"Um," Natasha scoffed. "Why am I doing all the talking? Baby, come on, it's your parent's house. Tell him where it is!"

"Mexico."

"Mexico," Natasha repeated.

You continued, "Philippines."

"Philippines?" She looked at you with wide eyes but said nothing else.

"So you're going to fly to the Philippines this weekend?" Loki asked with raised brows.

"Yeah." You both agreed, feeling Natasha's hesitance in her tone but disregarding it otherwise because, well, you two don't have a choice; that much is obvious.

"We are going to the Philippines," Natasha informed, touching your shoulder for some fake affection. "That's where my baby's from."

"Fine." Loki sighed, disappointed that he couldn't squeeze you enough to admit anything right now. "I see how this is going to go. I'll have to see you both at 11 by Monday morning for your scheduled interview, and your answers better match up on every account, or else..."

"Thank you, Sir." You stood up immediately to shake his cold hands, while Natasha stood up to answer the call from her phone.

You sighed, shoulders slumping as you showed your way out with Natasha's nose glued to her phone by your side.

Everything inside your head is noisy, and it makes you want to burst out, but every time you open your mouth, nothing comes out, which frustrates your whole being because, my god..

What did you get yourself into?

"Okay." Natasha finally broke the loud silence, snapping you out of your thoughts. "What's going to happen is we'll go down there and pretend that we're girlfriends, then tell them we're engaged. Book our flights. First class. And oh, confirm the vegan meal for me, okay? Because the last time, they actually gave it to a vegan and they forced me to eat this slimy, clammy, creamy salad thingy, which was really—hey, why aren't you taking notes?"

"I'm sorry, were you not in that room?" You sarcastically questioned with furrowed brows.

"What?" Natasha looked at you confusedly before she flashed you a small (not real) smile. "Oh! The thing about the promotion! That's a good one; he fell for it."

"I was serious." You muttered, "I'm looking at a $250,000 fine and five years in jail. That changes things."

"Promote you to a higher position that you're not capable of? No, no way." She scoffed.

You rolled your eyes with a shrug. "Then I quit, and you're screwed. Bye, Natasha."

And just as you were about to walk out, you heard her call you again, making you smirk to yourself.

"Fine. Fine!" Natasha frowned. "I'll promote you, fine—if you do this whole weekend in the Philippines thing and the immigration thingy, you'll get what you ask for. Happy?"

"Not in two years, but right away," You challenged.

"Fine!" She gave in with a groan, and you grinned at how you finally got her to agree with you for the first time ever since you worked for her.

"Now ask me nicely, Natasha." You smirked subtly.

"Ask you nicely, what?" She looked up from her phone, confused.

"Ask me nicely to marry you."

"What does that mean?" The redhead Russian asked with a tone that says she's losing her patience, but nah, you have the upper hand this time, and you sure damn hell you'll make the most out of it.

"You heard me." You gestured to her. "On your knees."

"What the f-" You raised your brow at her in warning, causing her to stop in mid-sentence before she began kneeling down with her sarcastic smile and dangerous eyes. "Y/n.."

"Yes?" You teased.

"Sweet, sweet, Y/n." Natasha did an adorable pout, looking like she's a puppy begging for food, but of course, it was mixed with sarcasm as usual. "Will you please, with cherries on top, marry me?"

You hummed for good measure, pretending to think as you looked away.

"I don't appreciate the sarcasm, but that'll do it." You shrugged. "See you tomorrow, boss!"

And with that, you left her almost falling flat on her face if it wasn't for her attentive skills that she caught herself and saved herself from the embarrassment as she cursed you in her mind.

Off to the Philippines we go!

—

Taglist (that I forgot yet again, sorry 😭): @taliiiaasteria @marvels--slut @freeyanna

[bucknastysbabe]

Hi, I am literally awful at making requests and I really hope you’re currently taking requests but I read your fic about Chubby!Bucky and was wondering if you could reverse it, like a short plus size reader and normal movie like Bucky , but not one where he just accepts her body because looks aren’t important but one where he worships her body, he doesn’t just think curves are okay for a woman he loves curves on a woman, you can make it an established relationship or a not, I prefer it not to be an established relationship but just write whatever flows. A smut story would be what I am asking for, some light dom!bucky sub!reader. If it’s not too much to ask can you throw in a kissing/spit kink, not too much focus on spitting but about slobbery messy kisses. Sorry if this is a rambling mess but I hope you can work with it, thank you, love your writing. 💜

YES I GOTCHU!! Always taking requests. Also I got what you meant don’t put yourself down DAMMIT *angry pointing*!! Sorry for the wait had a writers block moment this week but hope you enjoy :)

Big softie buck luvs his chubby gf

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 1,830

Tags: V!fingering, rough sex, pnv!sex, sloppy kissing, dirty talk, fluff and smut, Bucky is Babie, plus size!reader

A/N: Idk where the breeding kink hopped in but y’know how it be folks.

Bucky had a skip in his step going down the street. He was done with all of the bullshit paperwork in the Flagsmashers aftermath. Sam was taking over mantle of Steve amazingly, Walker was ousted and shamed, and they even got Sharon back into the states. Although he wasn’t completely sure about her.

Regardless he could breathe and go see his sweetie. Perfect, patient, lovely, and owner of the most wondrous curves. Bucky had to keep his dick in his pants for now. He carried a bouquet of roses and some chocolates, hustling down the row of brownstones. His girlfriend was very talented in her career and managed to buy one for herself.

He fought back his giddy grin when rapping on the red wooden door. It slowly opened to reveal her pretty face, mussed hair, and adorable huge t-shirt. The man had to shove down his intense desire knowing that was his shirt. She yelped in surprise, practically launching on the super-soldier.

Bucky laughed and grabbed her under the ass to keep the crying thing from falling. He chuckled, “Hey, hey, you’ll mess up the chocolates hold on.” She grabbed the package blindly and tossed them on a side table. She nuzzled into his scruff, arms wrapped tightly around his neck.

She sniffled, “Don’t need em- I got you.” The super soldier shook his head with a toothy smile, placing the flowers on another surface while leading the pair to the living room. He stroked her back in an attempt to quiet her crying. Bucky did not need to have the usual happy-go-lucky woman crying over the likes of him.

Sitting back onto the plush couch he murmured, “I’m back now, done, you’ll want to kick me out before the end of it.” His flesh hand thumbed away a tear and tipped her chin up. The girl wiped at her eyes and half-giggled and sobbed, “I know, I was so worried during it all. The news aren’t good for my nerves.”

Bucky wanted to sappily get lost in her watery eyes, framed by long clumped lashes. He murmured while stroking along her lush sides, “I can give you first hand doll,” he absently waved, “Tell me about you.” She rolled her eyes and replied, “Work, worrying, watching Alpine, I started a new project.”

As soon as the white cat was mentioned she appeared, purring and snuggling up to the pair. Bucky felt his eyes slightly water as he croaked, “There’s my sweet girl.” The cat let out a little ‘mrow?’ and promptly bit his hand. The couple busted into guffaws, Bucky snarking, “I guess that’s what I deserve.”

He leaned back, pulling his girl onto his chest.

“So tell me about that project, baby.”

He was listening to her talk about work and the project, really, but other things were starting to rear their head. She was so soft against him, lovely curves and pillowy breasts. The woman seemed sleepy recounting the latest news, words slightly stumbling. Bucky figured it was time for a wakeup call. So he grabbed a handful of ass, smirking lecherously.

She squeaked and bolted upright, gaping at Bucky. He snickered, “What?” She narrowed her eyes and groped his half-hard dick in return, the brunette’s eyes rolling with a breathy laugh. Bucky rumbled, “Sorry sweetheart, y’feel so good I lost control.” He squeezed again and nosed along her jaw— drawing out a gasp.

“Imagine how I’ve felt, toys don’t do the trick when I have a sexy super hero saving the world.”

Bucky grew jealous. He didn’t care if they were inanimate— only Bucky gets to watch his sweet girl lose herself in pleasure. He growled, “Oh yeah? What did you try?” She bit on her lower lip, eyes darting to the side, face flushing with embarrassment. Bucky ground his heavy cock against her thin underwear to goad her along.

She mumbled, “The vibrator, mm, then the shower one, y’know with the suction.”

He could’ve taken her right there imagining his girlfriend whining frustratedly on the dildo in the shower— curves slick, soapy, and bouncing with her movements. Bucky nipped her bottom lip sharply, relishing in her whimper. He cooed, “Didn’t do ya’ a lick of good either huh baby? Needed this to treat you right.” He rutted again for good measure, cock throbbing insistently. She shivered on his thighs, eyes growing glossy in desire.

She whimpered, “B-Buck, please.”

He growled, “Open.”

The girl did so obediently, widening lax lips. Bucky tilted her head back and dropped some of his spit onto her tongue. He commanded, “Swallow.” She whined thinly, throat bobbing as she did so. Her plush thighs were practically vibrating on his toned ones.

“Please, fuck, fuck,” she cried, tears pricking.

Bucky grabbed a soft cheek forcefully and claimed her lips. She pressed forward clumsily, heavy tits on his chest and little hands wrenching his jacket. Bucky dominated the kiss, his baby too overcome to do much except weak kisses and drooling. He laughed while sucking on her tongue, plundering the cute thing’s mouth.

It was sloppy. Bucky was in heaven. He liked knowing he could reduce her to tears and careless kisses without even getting in her pants. She mouthed against his lips, practically rutting to get closer. Which on that note, he snuck a hand down her plush tummy to get at her pussy. She cried out again, gasping hotly into the super soldier’s mouth.

Bucky slid two flesh fingers across her weeping slit and groaned, “Fuck- sweetheart you’re so wet.” She warbled, “Missed you, please.” In a fitful movement, Bucky flipped her around on his lap. Full ass thickly against his cock and now all of her soft parts for him to grab freely. She seemed too dazed to register, whimpering at the manhandling.

Nibbling on her neck Bucky hummed, “Can you take my shirt off for me baby? Hm?”

She flushed and nodded shyly. He hated when she got shy, thinking her extra padding wasn’t the sexiest thing he’d laid eyes on. Bucky was a man, he wanted something to grab on when he fucked a girl stupid. She shucked off the shirt, almost curling in on herself.

“No- no- you better stop it. Still like ya’ curves doll,” he tutted.

An annoyed whine was his response.

So Bucky ripped off her underwear with his vibranium arm, donning a shit eating grin. The woman yelping and jolting on his cock. Bucky snickered, “That’s what ya’ get, now I get to see it all.” Her face flushed even prettier, swollen lips lax and wet. He grabbed handfuls of her soft tits and groaned deeply, massaging and tweaking the tender flesh.

Her head fell back again the brunette���s shoulder, brokenly whimpering his name. Bucky murmured, “So sweet, missed my baby.” He thumbed at a peaked nipple and circled around it, sending her ass rocking back against his throbbing cock. Regretfully leaving her breast, he slid his other hand to grope at plush hips and belly before drawing fingers against her slick cunt.

She urged breathlessly, “Oh, c’mon touch me bear, oh!”

He sucked a dark mark behind her ear while delving two vibranium fingers into her slick channel— hot, pulsing, and oh-so-soaked. He grunted in arousal, thrusting and curling his fingers. Bucky growled, “Be a good girl and ride my hand.” She nodded vigorously, mewling and canting her hips against the heel of his palm.

Bucky gritted his teeth to hold back from her ass rubbing perfectly along his strained dick. He had to compartmentalize. Objective one, make his Angel cum. Then he can have a go. She squealed on a perfectly timed curl of fingers on the g-spot and his smooth palm against her clit.

The man used his other hand to grab and pull at her bouncing breasts, mouth leaving a mess of marks all over her neck. She began to tremble, hands twitching to find purchase. His sweetie wailed, “Buck, oh goddd, m’so close baby!” The former assassin paused his bite to growl, “Let go, I know it feels s’good. Then I’ll fuck ya’ raw.”

That did the trick. She loved fucking raw. Bucky had an inkling his girl had been wanting him to knock her up. He wouldn’t mind, more tits, more curves, and a Junior. But Bucky was selfish and wanted her to himself for now— no sharing. Her gushing all over his hand brought Bucky out of his fantasies.

She sucked in deep breaths, exhaling with moans, body wracked with pleasure. Bucky cooed and eased her down, drawing his hand out of her. He could bust right now at the slick coating his pants. She turned and begged for a kiss silently, eyelashes fluttering.

They kissed again, softer this time, softly intertwining their tongues. She whispered into Bucky’s mouth, “Your turn, old man.” Bucky snickered and rolled his eyes dramatically, nipping her upper lip teasingly. She reached behind blindly to help him unbutton, lips sealing together with wet smacks.

Bucky moaned when his achy cock hit the air, her slick center so close to where he needed it buried. She mewled, “Take me, use me baby, get it out.” Later, the man would deny the absolutely pathetic noise he made. Bucky aligned the ruddy tip of his cock to her and gritted his jaw at being sheathed. Her back arched at the intrusion, mouthing at Bucky’s scruff.

He gripped onto her wide hips and lifted her up and down on his cock. Basically a cocksleeve at this point with the way Bucky was slamming his angry cock in. She cried and babbled at the rough treatment, incoherent slurs. Bucky choppily grunted and moaned, veins pulsing with sheer need. She felt so fucking good.

Bucky hissed, “That’s my- hah- best girl, bein’a good little fucktoy.”

She nodded deliriously, drool running down a corner or her gaping mouth, tits bouncing wildly as she held onto Bucky’s hands for dear life. The brunette was going to blow quick at this rate— his girl was sucking him in too good. She seized up and squeezed his dick like a vice.

She had cum again, only a shrill yelp and Bucky’s cock being throughly milked as the indicator. His baby fell limp against him, nuzzling into his sweaty cheek. His balls were full up and pulsing, ready to release. Another one, two, three pumps Bucky came with a loud cry of her name.

He slumped into the couch, still seating inside of his girlfriend while riding out the aftershocks. He could vaguely hear her whimpering about being full under the blood rushing in Bucky’s ears. He wrapped his arms around her soft midsection, suddenly very tired. She hissed, “Not there.”

Yawning, Bucky snorted, “No way in hell baby. Can’t a man hug the woman he loves who just made him see stars?”

She narrowed her eyes for a pause then pecked his lips. The woman murmured, “Fine. Since you’re the man I love who made me see stars two times.”

“Well I could count two since you’re in my lap.”

“Hush.”

[belleandre-belle]

Gerald Kaufman (1930-2017🙏🏼🌹🕊️), British MP, speaking from the rostrum of Parliament in 2009.

Gerald Kaufman was the son of Polish Jewish immigrants. Born in the UK, Kaufman was one of the country's most famous Jewish politicians. He was also a fervent critic of Israel, calling for sanctions against the Jewish state for its policies towards the Palestinians, and comparing Israeli soldiers to Nazis.

For years, Kaufman has been one of Britain's most outspoken critics of Israel.

In April 2002, at the start of Israel's Operation Rampart to halt the wave of suicide bombings in the country's cities, Kaufman declared Israel an "international pariah" and accused then-Prime Minister Ariel Sharon of ordering "his troops to use barbaric methods against the Palestinians", according to the BBC.

Kaufman, who was Foreign Secretary between 1987 and 1992, told the House of Commons in 2002 that it was "time to remind Sharon that the Star of David belongs to all Jews and not to his repulsive government. His actions sully the Star of David with blood."

In 2004, in an editorial published in the Guardian, he called for economic sanctions against Israel similar to those used against South Africa.

In 2009, during the war between Israel and Hamas, Operation Cast Lead, he accused Israel of exploiting Holocaust guilt to justify its actions in the Gaza Strip.

"The current Israeli government ruthlessly and cynically exploits the guilt of gentiles [non-Jews] after the murder of Jews during the Holocaust as justification for its murders of Palestinians," Kaufman had declared before Parliament.

Speaking of his personal history as the son of Jewish refugees from Poland, he had said that "my grandmother was in bed, sick, when the Nazis came to her town. A German soldier shot her in her bed. My grandmother did not die to provide cover for Israeli soldiers murdering Palestinian grandmothers in Gaza."

Kaufman had compared Hamas fighters to Jewish resistance fighters in the Second World War, claiming that "Israeli army spokesman Major Leibovich was asked about Israeli murders of, at the time, 800 Palestinians. The total is now 1,000. She replied instantly that '500 of them were militants'. That's the response of a Nazi. I suppose the Jews fighting for their lives in the Warsaw ghetto could have been considered militants."

His opposition to Israel has persisted with age. In 2012, he had written an editorial published by the Huffington Post claiming that Israel was a "rogue state", and that the fact that Israel is a democracy "means that the Israeli electorate is complicit in its government's war crimes."

In 2015, he had told the Palestine Return Centre, a Hamas-affiliated association, that "Jewish money" was the reason why British Conservatives were pro-Israel.

[bgwlsmahf25]

Heat Of The Moment

Pairings: Carol Danvers x fem!reader; Maria Hill x fem!reader (platonic); Nick Fury x fem!reader (platonic)

Warnings: brief mention of injuries; reader gets hurt

Summary: you put yourself in danger one too many times and Carol gets worried. A heart to heart is needed…

Genre: hurt/ comfort

a/n: I watched the Marvels today so Carol’s on my mind ;)

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***

You were laughing with some of your SHIELD colleagues when Carol marched in. “I want you to quit your job,” she demanded.

“Um.. ok. What’s wrong?”

Your colleagues muttered awkwardly and moved away giving you and Carol some space. You sighed and gestured around you. “You had to do it here?”

“I’m sorry,” she replied gently. “But when Maria Hill calls me up to inform me that my girlfriend’s been injured, I get worried. You didn’t think to mention you got shot?! Twice!”

“Let’s start with the part where Maria called you. Why?” Carol looked away. “Why Carol?”

“Oh it’s ‘Carol’ now?”

“It is until you stop acting so damn mysterious and tell me why my boss has you on speed dial!”

“Ladies!” Nick Fury’s voice rang out across the office. He pointed to the conference room. “Both of you. Now.”

You refused to sit down, instead pacing the length of the room looking anywhere but at Carol. You were angry and confused that she’d gone behind your back and taken protective measures without consulting you.

Carol sat down, watching you and saying nothing. Fury finally broke the silence. “What’s the damn issue? Yelling in the workplace like children is not professional.”

“Going behind my back is not professional!” you shouted. “Checking in on me without involving me is not professional! Having my boss on speed dial is not professional Carol.”

“Please stop calling me Carol!” she snapped. Taken aback, you stared at her in surprise. “And don’t give me that look. You know why. I’m off world 355 days a year. I’m not here. And it’s great you’re working for SHIELD. I know that’s your dream. But then you signed up to missions, to more, and suddenly I’m two galaxies away receiving calls from your boss telling me you can’t talk to me because you’re lying unconscious in a hospital bed, damn near close to dying!” Tears were pooling in your girlfriend’s eyes.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I don’t make it easy. I’m sorry I don’t always communicate. But I’m not quitting missions or SHIELD to make you feel safer. I came alive Carol. Storming those bases, analysing intel, working with the Avengers, working with you… I’m not giving it up now I’ve experienced it. You can’t ask me to do that.”

Carol rubbed at her eyes then looked at you coldly. “Then I guess we’re not meant for each other y/n.” She got up and left the room, ignoring your stammering voice.

“I think you just got dumped,” Fury informed you.

“Yes I’m well aware of that!” you snapped, exiting the room angrily.

You headed straight for your room and fell on your bed, bursting into tears. You were so happy when Carol had first looked at you then talked to you and then eventually kissed you. You had everything you could possibly want… and you’d just lost it all.

***

Several weeks later, you were on a standard recon mission for SHIELD. Captain America was supporting but it was considered unlikely he’d be needed. You knew he was there to keep an eye on Sharon Carter, as they’d recently started seeing each other.

The thought made you smile and your heart ached with a memory of Carol and the cheeky looks she’d send you in meetings that were meant to be serious.

“I’ve got the back,” you informed your team mates on comms, running to a padlocked door. A simple silent detonation device blasted it open and you headed inside, gun at the ready.

“All clear-“ Someone crashed into you making you gasp and drop your gun. You scrabbled with one hand trying to find it and someone trod on your fingers making you yelp.

The attacker picked you up and threw you with force against the far wall. You hit your head, cried out and everything went black.

***

Slowly you opened your eyes to see your hand smothered in bandages, an IV poking out. One leg was in a cast, supported by a sling from the ceiling. You could feel tight skin across your right cheek and winced when you touched it.

“I wouldn’t do that.” Maria strode into the room, clipboard in hand, Dr Cho behind her. “Helen’s done some cell reconstruction on your cheek, it was ripped apart by exposed steel supports in the wall.”

“Deputy Director Hill, with all due respect, Agent y/l/n should be resting right now. She has just had major surgery and needs time to recover. Questioning can wait,” Dr Cho announced.

“Doctor, as I’ve told you, I just need a few minutes to ask some questions.” Maria shot the doctor a firm gaze. “Five minutes.”

Helen muttered then swiftly left the room, talking intently to herself. Maria watched her go then turned to you. “Agent.”

“Maria,” you replied, “you’ve known me for six years.”

“Fine… y/n, don’t you ever pull crap like that again.” Her tone was firm but her eyes twinkled. “You gave us all a fright. What were you thinking charging into danger like that?”

“Cap was on support and I’ve run far more dangerous ops than this one Maria.”

“Cap’s eyes were on Sharon Carter.” Maria sighed. “I’m over-ruling Fury on that one next time.”

“Hmm.. let me be a fly on the wall for that conversation,” you smirked, making Maria roll her eyes.

“Now then, as for the – “

“WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?!” Carol barged into the room, breathing heavily like she’d run a marathon and glaring at you.

“Why hello to you too,” you replied. “You’ve interrupted a mission debrief so if you join the queue in the corridor…”

“You’re not that popular, don’t flatter yourself,” Maria teased, shutting up when she noticed Carol’s side eye. “Okay, y/n we can resume this later.” She quietly exited the room.

You glared at Carol. “I was working.”

“You got thrown against a brick wall, had your face torn apart by a steel barrier, broke three bones in your foot and fractured four fingers… that is not working!”

“Touche. Someone read my file.”

“Y/n…” Carol whimpered. “Please. Talk to me.”

“As I recall we’re not meant for each other so we probably shouldn’t be talking,” you replied coldly.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry y/n.”

“Sorry isn’t enough anymore.” You leant back on your pillow and closed your eyes. “We’re done here Carol.”

“Sweet…”

“Don’t even start.”

Silence fell. You slowed down your breathing and heart rate. Having Carol back was making you feel all sorts of emotions and you didn’t want to admit you were over the moon to see her. You lay further back against your pillows and soon drifted off into a restless sleep.

***

Hours later you opened your eyes. You turned your head slightly to see painkillers being drip fed into you.

“Hey… how are you feeling?”

You looked tiredly at Carol. “Like I lost a fight with a brick wall.”

“I deserved that.”

“Yeah. You were mean.” You sighed.

“But?”

“What makes you think there’s a but?”

“Always is with you,” she chuckled and your heart leapt at the sound.

“But… so was I. We both said some things.”

“We sure did.”

“We’ve said worse,” you commented dryly making her chuckle again. “But you were mean. I get where you’re coming from though.”

“Oh yeah?”

“You’re away 355 days of the year. You live in space. I’m not always up there. I worry too. This isn’t a one-way street hun.”

“Hun?”

“Term of endearment. Short for honey. Aka you.”

Carol smirked and moved closer, perching on the edge of your bed. She ran a hand over the good side of your face, pressing her fingertips against your lips gently. You kissed them smiling up at her.

“I miss you,” you whispered.

“I was out of line,” she replied. “What I said… I said it because I love you y/n.”

You stared at her. Neither of you had said the three little words yet and hearing her say them made you smile. “I love you too dumbass.”

“Oh I’m the dumbass? You’re the one who took on a brick wall.”

[beidousbeloved]

birthday girl.

a/n: hbd to my dear friend and happy holidays to my motherfuckers. my asks are still open for sorority/frat!character ideas, so send them in if you have any. make sure to check my request guidelines and the list of who i write for before sending anything in!

pairing: sorority!wanda maximoff x sorority!fem!reader

summary: you’re new to greek life and find yourself in trouble with one of your sorority sisters during your birthday party.

warnings: 18+ only, smut, oral sex on strap-on (r giving), strap-on use (r giving), choking

word count: 1.5k | marvel masterlist | navigation

you do not have permission to translate or repost my work on tumblr or any other platform. likes, comments, and reblogs are always welcome & appreciated!

You navigated through the crowd of sweaty bodies, trying to get to the other side of the house. Rush had barely ended and you were already having to attend a party. Not only that but that party was being thrown for you. One of the girls had gotten word that it was your birthday after you’d let it slip that you were planning on leaving for the weekend to celebrate with your friends and family back home. Sharon told Monica, who told Natasha, who told Pepper, who told everyone, and took it upon herself to delay your plans by a day by throwing a party for you.

There wasn’t anyone you could blame for the position you were in aside from yourself. You couldn’t have expected privacy and peace in Delta Phi Epsilon. If you had rushed for any other sorority, you’d be in a similar situation, but Pepper was notorious for throwing the craziest parties in the city.

Some of your sisters urged you to dance with them throughout the night, to which you politely declined. The music wasn’t to your taste, not that you could tell since you were focused on the intensity of the bass. Luckily, you didn’t have to suffer through that much longer once you reached the door. You took the opportunity to quickly stumble outside while no one was looking for you.

There were still a few people around, but it was much calmer outside. Your shoulders dropped in relief that you could finally get some air. You leaned against the railing of the balcony and silently observed your surroundings. However, you weren’t paying much attention to the area you stood. You flinched in surprise hearing someone clear their throat beside you.

Turning your head, you were immediately greeted with the sight of Wanda Maximoff. Your eyes widened. You hadn’t interacted with her during Rush aside from her bumping your shoulder when she was trying to leave the house. She was two years above you and one of the few people that made up Pepper’s inner circle. 

“What’s wrong, birthday girl? Why are you so shocked to see me? We’re going to be living in the same house for the rest of the year. Maybe longer if you can last.” For Pepper to know you was one thing. She was Pepper, she knew everything about all of your sisters. But for Wanda to know you, or at least of you was something you weren’t prepared for. Wanda sighed when you remained quiet for longer than she had anticipated. “What’s your name again? Come on, you’ve gotta be able to answer that at least.”

Well, maybe she didn’t even know of you. But she at least knew that it was your birthday. That was a start. “Y/n,” you replied.

“Y/n,” Wanda repeated to herself, scrunching her eyebrows as she thought. “Oh right! You’re the girl that got in my way the first day of Rush.” 

“I wasn’t trying to. I’m sorry, but you bumped into me,” you tried to explain. It was of no use, though. You knew you had made a mistake the moment your eyes locked with Wanda’s.

“So you’re going to pin your mistake on me?” She questioned. You were far too weak to protest her accusations. Maybe you shouldn’t have signed up for Greek life because it was clear that the brunette wasn’t going to let you live this down.

“No- I was just trying to-”

“You should really stop talking before you get yourself into more trouble, princess.” She warned. Despite her threat, you melted at the new title. “You know if we don’t get along, your life here won’t be easy, right?” You nodded in response. “See, you’re doing better already. But if you want to move past this, you’ll have to make it up to me, baby. Think you can do that?” You nodded again and her hand found yours. 

Wanda smirked, dragging you back inside and down the hall. She opened a door you had never been on the other side of before and let you in. She locked the door behind her and led you further into her room. Her bedroom was much larger than yours and it seemed like she had it all to herself, while you had to share with another recruit. Perks of being close to Pepper Potts, you supposed.

The brunette walked over to her nightstand and bent over to pull something out of the lowest drawer. Your eyes fixated on her ass as she rummaged through it. “I know you’re looking, honey.” You looked away flustered as she stood back up and favored you. “Do you know what this is, baby?” Wanda asked, holding up a strap-on. 

You raised an eyebrow, slightly offended, thinking she perceived you as someone dumb and naive. Wanda’s eyes stayed on you as you thought about your next move. You considered leaving, but you knew by the look on her face that she was not pleased by your thoughts, so you answered to please her.

“Yes-” 

“Good.” She interrupted. “Get it ready for Mommy’s pussy.” Wanda pulled you closer by the back of your neck and held the strap in front of your face. Your lips wrapped around the tip of the toy as you allowed Wanda to slowly work it into your mouth. “That’s my good girl, I’m gonna have lots of fun with you.”

When you had almost taken the entire thing, Wanda abruptly pulled the cock out before shoving it back in. You gagged slightly when it hit the back of your throat, but that didn’t deter her from continuing to move the dildo in and out of your mouth.

Once Wanda was satisfied with your work, she removed the cock from your mouth and began to undress you. You moved to do the same with her, but she slapped your hands away. “Mommy can take care of herself, princess. All you’re supposed to do is listen to me.”

“Yes, Mommy. I’m sorry.” Wanda hummed in approval. She may have told you to stop talking, but perhaps some things were acceptable. As long as you kept it short and she agreed with it.

Wanda handed you the strap-on and reached underneath her skirt to pull her panties off while you struggled to put the harness on. “Do I have to do everything for you?” Wanda huffed, rolling her eyes while helping you. 

“Thank you,” you mumbled as she pulled you down onto the mattress with her. 

“You think you can make me cum without my help, honey? Do you think your dumb little brain can handle that?” She questioned, reaching between your bodies to align the cock with her core.

Instead of answering, you snapped your hips up, filling Wanda. Her hands grabbed your arms as you began to work the toy in and out of her cunt.

You pulled her top down and leaned your head towards her chest. Wanda gasped as your lips wrapped around one of her nipples. One of her hands moved to the back of your head, holding you down while the other slid down her body to rub at her clit. She huffed as you pulled away from her chest, grabbing your neck. You replaced her hand with yours and began teasing her. “Come on, baby. Do you wanna make me cum?” 

“I don’t know. Do you deserve it, Mommy?” You asked, pressing down on her clit. Wanda moaned, rolling her hips towards yours.

“Are you really not going to give me what I want, honey? This could easily turn into a punishment.” Wanda purred, gently squeezing the sides of your neck. “But I’m sure you’d like that since you like being a bratty slut.” You released a pathetic whimper in response. “So are you going to listen to me, princess?” She smiled when you let out a small ‘yes, Mommy’ and slid her hand up to your jaw. She cupped your face and leaned up. Her lips ghosted over yours as you picked up the pace. 

With a few more thrusts, the brunette came undone in your arms. Wanda fell back against the bed as she came down from her high. You were disappointed that you didn’t get to kiss her, but you shook that feeling off while you watched the brunette try to collect herself.

“I think you did a pretty good job showing me how sorry you were, honey.” Wanda breathed out when you removed the toy from her cunt. “I’d usually let you go, but I can’t just do that to my little birthday girl.” Wanda cooed, flipping you onto your back. She crawled up the bed, setting one leg on either side of your head. “I can’t let you leave before I give you your present.”

[observeowl]

Unwanted Marriage | Chapter 4 - Going above and beyond

Series Masterlist

"Thanks to you guys, the bonus for this month, was give to us, Team 2 instead of Team 1. This time round, people from Team 1 won't have anything to mock us about." Millicent said as she brought us to the meeting room where Mr Stark called for a meeting.

You just hoped that this won't be a reason for you to be picked on. Once you entered, you could see Sharon's scowl on her face accompanied by her two companions. "Mr Stark, Team 2's news were too exaggerated isn't it?" One of them said. "Yes, even though the magazine press gained quite a number of attention, but we also gained a number of negative responses." Another added.

"But we can't just be beaten for no reason!" Wanda said. "Ok, ok, calm down. This incident has its pros and cons, let bygones be bygones." Mr Stark got everyone's attention at the head of the table. "Now we have 2 very important and difficult interviews coming up. They are very influential businessmen, we must take it on. The two groups will be responsible for one interview each. Team 1 will interview Carol Danvers. Wanda, I heard you are a fan of Natasha Romanoff so Team 2 shall be in charge of interviewing her."

Natasha... what were the chances that you were actually assigned to interview her.

"Natasha Romanoff? Isn't she the boss of Romanoff Corporation?" // "I have heard that Carol Danvers doesn't accept most of the interviews..."

"Then, what should we do, Sharon...?"

With the dismissal of the meeting, you and Wanda start planning how you were going approach Natasha to get a meeting. You weren't too sure about their history in terms of getting interviews and asked Wanda about it. "Carol has never accepted any interviews. Natasha was alright in the past, but ever since she got into an accident, she never accepted any interviews again. We tried to contact him previously, and did not even went past his assistant."

You nodded at her explanation and wondered what happened in that accident. "So, Natasha is your idol?"

"Natasha Romanoff used to be everyone's dream in the city, man or woman. It's a pity she got into an accident." Her eyes sparkled as she talked about her idol.

"I know it's not an easy task, but we must do our best for the sake of Team 2's reputation and pride." Millicent encouraged as she gave you all a brief guide on where to begin. "Just the thought of meeting my idol, makes me so nervous! Even though we might be able to meet!" Wanda was shaking wth excitement and it's not often that she feels so happy for an assignment. "I heard that she have gotten married, but has kept it a secret from the public. I wonder who would be so lucky to be her partner!" She gossiped with you and you replied with an awkward smile. not knowing that you were the one.

Once you reached home, you spotted Clint coming out of his room and you whispered to his name to get his attention. "Clint! Psps, over here." You waved for him to come closer. "Did you just 'psps' at me?"

"Doesn't matter. Does Natasha not accept any interview at all?" You asked. "Y/N, you can ask her in person." You averted your eye and replied. "I got no intention at all, just asking."

"What are the two of you doing?" You didn't even realised you were standing right in front of her room and got a shock when she opened the door. "Y/N was asking me about interviewing you." You couldn't believe you were betrayed straightaway.

"Well, alright, I'll get this straight." You resigned to your fate. "Ms Romanoff... Our magazine would like to invite you to do an interview, I do no know if you would like to... come..." You tried your best to put on a professional smile, but all Natasha could see was you trying your best not to break into a sweat. After not receiving a reply, you thought all was going down and there was no way she would agree to it.

"What interview?"

"Are you interested?" You squatted down next to her at her armrest and continued. "The magazine became famous because of Sherry, so I would like to take this opportunity to get an interview with a few influential people. It's okay if you're not wiling to." You reinforced that she didn't have to do anything she wasn't comfortable in doing. "On what terms?" She asked. "Eh? You've got everything you want, what else do you want? And our company-"

"I want you."

"What, what are you talking about?"

"I say, I want you to treat me to dinner. What are you thinking?" You gave an awkward half laugh and sigh. "I promise you! I will arrange for the interview."

"Really? Natasha Romanoff, you're the best. Let me go and see what Brooke is cooking, I will bring up for you." That was the first time Natasha has seen you smile so brightly and freely, like the best painting she has ever seen.

You were thinking if you should tell Wanda about this when Brooke told you that someone called you using the home landline. You wondered who would have the number as you brought the phone to your ears.

S: Y/N, you went too far! Are you the one behind what happened to Sherry? Do you know you just wrecked the future of a good singer? How could you do this?

You: This happened because Sherry wanted to help Maggie get back at me. If she didn't refuse to let me go, it won't end up like this.

S: She knows that she's wrong, you can retreat the news. Let's just forget about this.

You: Now this have already gone too far. Neither you nor I could settle it down. Also, you don't have to seek up to me so frequently. Marcus and Y/L/N's industry is all yours, I have no interest in it, so what you do keep bothering me?

S: Y/N! What nonsense are you talking about? I just couldn't bear it so I wanted to help them!

You: You are clear about your thought. This is what they deserve to have.

S: Y/N Y/L/N, don't you feel guilty?

You: I'm sorry, not even a bit.

You rebutted and hung up the phone. "Brooke, if this person calls in the future, please hang up. Don't need to get me to answer." You said as you returned her the phone.

Back with Stephanie, she was making a mess in the living room. "Miss, please calm down, you already smashed many of Mr Y/L/N's antique!"

"Go away! All of you, get out!" She threw a pillow and it end up hitting on Marcus's chest. "Steph, why are you so upset?"

"Marcus! Y/N is pissing me off. You got to help me!"

"Enough, Steph! I've already told you Maggie is just using you, she never treated you as a friend."

"Marcus, what are you talking about?"

"Steph, I am exhausted from the corporation with the Y/L/N's. Can you please not bother me anymore?" In her mind, Y/N was still a threat to her.

"Dad, look what Y/N did. Because of our family, I gave Natasha to her, but she didn't help the company and didn't even come back home to see you." She complained and whined like a child would. "Dad, this is too much!" He shook his head, saying he will think of something for it.

In the end, he made a call to you feigning illness, using your sympathy to get you to visit him.

The next day, you visited your father with Natasha and he seems to be very happy that she was here. "Y/N, why didn't you tell me that Natasha is coming along?"

"I heard from Y/N that you're not feeling well, Y/N has been very worried so I decided to come with her. But you don't look like you're sick." She has no problem saying what she thinks even if it hurts the other's feeling.

"Natasha, my dad had high fever the whole day yesterday, he has just gotten better today." Stephanie came to assist her father. "He heard Y/N is back, so he came down to fetch her, but actually he is still weak."

"Y/N, come with me, I have something for you." You followed him to his room where he took something out from his drawer. "It is my fault to let you marry to Romanoff. I did not requie you to do anything else before. But don't forget the reason why you married into Romanoff family, I have done this for Y/L/N, the Y/L/N's family! If your mother was still here, she would also have agreed. Just because of you, Stephanie gave up the marriage and accepted Marcus so that you could marry Natasha Romanoff, don't make her sad okay?" You fault hard to not roll you eyes in front of him. "Your mother left this to you. She said this would be your dowry when you get married." He handed you a jade ring you have never seen before. "That time we were so poor, so you rmum only have this favourite ring."

Despite what had happened between the rest of your family, you had fond memories of your mother before she passed. "I understand... dad."

You met Marcus along the hallway and he was trying to act like a victim and a saviour to you at the same time. But you were no longer the lovesick puppy who foolishly loved him and does everything he says. He tried to hold you back and hopes to make things anew but you weren't going to let him.

"What's wrong?" Natasha came along when she heard the commotion. "Natasha?" Despite being on a wheelchair, she must have a great upper body strength as she managed to pull you onto her lap. "Tell me, is anyone bothering you again?" You shook your head before standing up.

"If Mr Y/L/N is good, pardon us to leave first."

"Dad, Natasha is not used to eating out, we will be heading home first."

"Oh, alright then."

"There is something I forgot to say, that idol was banned by me. For saying what shouldn't have been said, and doing what shouldn't have been done. You understand what I mean right, Stephanie?" Despite not saying anything for a long time, Natasha recognised every presence in the room. "That video you recorded last time, don't let me see it again."

===

You went to work once the weekend was over and Wanda greeted you with a bad news. "I heard that Sharon has some relationships with Romanoff Corporation, and they changed our interview, so we are interviewing Carol instead!"

"Actually interviewing Carol is not bad, compared to Natasha Romanoff's eccentric character, it's better to interview Carol." Millicent said. Your preparation for the interview with Natasha turned out to be in vained and Wanda missed out on her chance to meet her idol. "You two go get ready for the interview, I'll contact the person. Remember, don't mind what others say, we just need to do our job properly."

Back at the table, Wanda was still complaining how she should have fought more in order to get the interview, but you had already changed your goal and planned to contact Carol's assistant first.

"Hello? Is this the assistant of Carol Danvers? We are from Stark News and we would like to invite her for an interview."

"Sorry, Miss Danvers is not available recently." She said and hung up the phone immediately, leaving you to hear the beeping sound of the phone.

Wanda was getting unmovivated as Team 1 has already made an appointment with Natasha Romanoff for interview. You were also getting frustrated not getting any progress with your assignment. But Wanda tapped your shoulder when he noticed a handsome man waiting by the door.

"What are you doing here, Marcus?" You said when you brought him to a secluded place away from prying eyes. 

"I passed by and decided to come up and say hi." You chuckled. In the three years you were with him, never once did he thought of visiting you when you worked close to where he did. He was still harping on the case about Sherry and talking bad about Roamanoff. Thing were getting risky when he trapped you between his arms,

"Enough, let go of me. I am already married, brother-in-law, please behave!" You pushed him away. Stephanie came in at the wrong time and accused Marcus of being hanky panky with her. She even pulled you in saying that you were happy now that Sherry is blocked.

"Stephanie! That is all over, why do you still mention it? Y/N is your sister, I just happend to pass by here to visit her, what is wrong?"

"Bullshit! Admit to yourself! You just can't move on from your old relationship with her." In the heat of the moment, she slapped Marcus and pulled her hand back immediately. "Marcus, I, I didn't mean it, Marcus..."

"Let's go home." Marcus said softly. You shook your head at the incident and how your life has become.

You heard a clap as you come out of the emergency exit. "Unexpectedly, I saw a good play."

"What?" You asked irritatingly after receiving one trouble after the other. "Nothing, nothing. I just cant believe it's just another side of you. Already married and still want to snatch your sister boyfriend, no wonder Sherry is not your match either." She sneerred. "Think whatever you like."

"Don't you feel embarrassed?"

"If I have time to think about this, I would use it to get Carol's interview. Sharon, you can stay here if you like. I will pack up and get off work first." You brushed her off and walked away.

As you passed the gantry, your phone pinged with a message and you realised it was Natasha waiting outside the building. You rushed out thinking why did she come to such a crowded place. And true to her words, her car was waiting by the road side and got it after making sure no one was around to see you enter.

"Why are you here?" You asked after entering. "Passed by."

"Isn't it not convenient to show up?"

"I changed by car, idiot." The car drove for a few minutes until she spoke up again. "Oh right, my father is coming. Just be at ease."

Father? You remember seeing him during the wedding and his stern face scared you.

Once you returned home, you asked Brooke where he was. "He is in the study room alone."

"Let's go and accompany him." Natasha said to you and you were shocked beyond words. How were you going to approach him? You wheeled Natasha to the study room where you saw him playing chess with himself.

"Alexei, are you playing chess by yourself again?"

"You're back?" He turned his back and stood up making your heartbeat quicken once again as he was approaching you. "Y/N... Let's go eat dinner!" He said excitedly, making your jaw drop at his new expression. He was like a golden retriever, pulling you away from Natasha. "Since that brat wants to play chess, let him play by himself." You looked between Natasha and her father as you forced away.

You were sitting at dinning table, waiting to be served when he said something again. "Y/N, come here, I've got something to tell you." You went closer to him and Alexei made sure Natasha was not around to listen. "That fool, is she sleeping in a different room from you? What are you sacred of? Tell me the truth, is that brat bullying you? I will help you!"

"No, no. It's me who is afraid to wake him up, that's why I suggested to sleep in another room." You rushed to explain yourself. "Y/N, you're a good kid."

"Alexei, I am not as good as you think."

===

"Natasha! Your bed is so soft, and I have decided that I will sleep here! Tonight, you should stay with Y/N." Natasha having anticipated this, wasn't afraid of it. "No need, Brooke prepared a room for you, I'll just sleep there tonight."

When she entered the room, Brooke was putting on the finishing touches. "Miss, the room is ready, but the bathroom..."

"It's okay."

As it was the guest bedroom, it wasn't fixed with the kind of appliance that were friendly to wheelchair users. The showerhead was high up and poses a challenge to Natasha, having to stand up to reach it. Despite undergoing physical therapy to get back where she once was, she was not ready to take such a huge step in a slippery bathroom. When she slipped, everyone in the household in the second floor, could hear it.

"Nata-" Alexei wanted to help but was held back by you. "Alexei, let's go out first. You should get some rest. I will go see her afterwards. I believe she doesn't want anyone to see her now. If we remind her like this, it will make him feel worse."

You waited outside the bathroom until she come out. You saw that she was fine with no physical injury. "I'm fine." She said when she saw you sitting on the edge of the bed. "I know. I believe you."

===

"Why is Natasha Romanoff so hard to deal with?" One of the Team 1 members complained. "She promised to do the interview but he postponed it again! What is she up to?" "What should we do? Are we unable to interview her again?"

"Y/N, it seems like something cropped up for princess charming, why else would she postpone?" Wanda asked after eavesdropping. "If you have time to think about this, why don't you start thinking about how we should settle the interview for Carol!" As you teased Wanda for caring for a idol, you can't help but this if it was because of what happened yesterday that caused her to postpone the interview. Nonetheless, you tried calling Carol's assistant once again with Wanda listening in close next to your ears. "Hello, we are Stark News, may I ask if Carol Danvers is free to-"

"Sorry, Miss Danver has been on a holiday recently and is not available."

"How is it? How is it? Did Miss Danvers agree to do the interview?" Wanda asked as she sees you pulling your phone away. Seeing you shake your head, she collapsed onto her chair. "We are at our dead end now?"

"Go prepare the manuscript for tomorrow's publication, I'll try to contact Danver's assistant when I reach home tonight again."

"Then I'll leave that to you. I'll go back and prepare the interview script."

After a long day at work, you finally reach home in the evening. "Y/N! You're finally home!" Alexei came barreling to you before you were able to close the door. "A-Alexei! What's wrong?"

"You don't know how that brat bullied me when you're not home. I'm so bored at home and she just ignored me."

"Did I?"

"Y/N, let's ignore that little rascal." You sneaked in a little chuckle at the dynamic of this family. "Okay okay, let's eat first, shall we? I just smelled Brooke's cooking and I'm dead hungry."

"Humph." Alexei pulled a face acting like a child who didn't get what he wanted. At dinner, Natasha was constantly putting more food on your plate, making sure you ate enough until you told her to stop and you wouldn't be able to finish everything.

You stood by the balcony after dinner, feeling very satisfied. Thinking back to what Mr Stark said at the meeting, you decided to take another chance at calling Carol Danver's assistant again. If you were unable to get a meeting with her, you'd have to find another influential person to interview. Looking into the starry night, you prayed upon the stars that you would receive a favourable reply, but you only got a negative response.

Stepping back into the room, you shivered slightly now that it was starting to get into autumn, and it caught the eye of Alexei. He gave you a glass of water before berating his daughter again. "You drink this slowly, her own wife is getting a cold and she doesn't do anything about it." You chuckled a little before accepting the water. You didn't think he had such a character when you first met him and honestly, it is a respite towards the cold character that Natasha has been giving you.

"Oi, your wife has caught a cold, you should go show some concern." Alexei walked into Natasha's home office and announced. "Is she? She seemed fine just now."

"Girls are delicate, go check on her now!" He urged her to make a move, and she had no choice but to look into your room. You were fine when she wheeled past your room earlier as you were taking a call, but now, you were spread across the bed. "What's wrong? Where are you not feeling well?" She got closer to check. You were unable to reply coherently, but you noticed her right next to you. "Uh- so... dizzy, so hot..." You held her hand when she tried to measure your temperature.

"I'm so sad..." You suddenly sat up and hugged Natasha. "My dad doesn't want me, Marcus doesn't want me. Don't tell me you don't want me either." You cried onto her shoulder. "I won't." You pulled away and looked at her seriously. "You swear! Quick! I'm about to die from being so sad. If I die, I won't be able to hear you say it."

"Y/N... I swear-." She stopped halfway when she noticed you were drunk. "Natasha Romanoff, why do you look so beautiful and so hot." Influenced by the drink that Alexei gave you, you surged forward and kissed her on the lips. "Y/N..., you're drunk."

===

When you woke up in the morning, you shifted around before fully waking up and opening your eyes. In your haze, you managed to recognise the red hair in front of you and sat up in shock. "You're awake." The sudden movement must have woken Natasha. "You-you, I-." You pushed Natasha away before getting out of bed. "I just remember I have to get to the office, I have to go first."

You were brushing your teeth in the bathroom when you realised it must have been Alexei's doing last night when he gave you that glass of 'water'. You immediately rushed down to ask Brooke where he was, only to learn that he had already left, claiming to have to take care of his plants at home.

With Natasha, she called Alexei to check if it was indeed his doing. "Yup. She seemed to have caught a little cold. Coincidentally, I was brewing some medicinal wine! It was a gift from an old friend."

"You should drink less of that in the future, thank goodness nothing big happened. I'm hanging up." Next, she called Clint who was out of the office collecting some stuff for her before starting work. "Contact Carol, I want to invite Carol and her wife to lunch."

"Carol Danvers? Carol and Romanoff Corp. haven't had any business dealing, Nat. Is this-"

"This afternoon." Natasha interrupted. "Yes, Nat."

You arrived at your table in the office, and there was a feeling of contemplation and hesitation towards the next step. "Y/N, how are things on Carol's side?" Millicent came to check on you once she arrived at work. You shook your head negatively as all your efforts were for nought. "So we can only give up now? We can't let Group 1 make a fool of us. From now on, prepare for another interview! You're going to prepare another interview script for the Movie Queen Monica Rambeau.

You were working closely with Wanda for the next script when you heard your phone ring and were about to decline the call until you saw it was from Natasha. "Leave your afternoon free to accompany me to meet someone." You didn't even get to tell her you were busy and were unable to stay long on the phone. "Can it wait till I get off from work?"

"This afternoon, at 3pm, I am having a meeting with Carol Danvers."

That made you shoot up from your chair, scaring Wanda. "Carol Danvers? I want to go! I will request an afternoon leave!" You covered the receiver on your phone and turned to Millicent. "Millicent, can I get an afternoon leave? I am going to meet Carol."

"You can go now. Prepare everything you need! You must interview Carol this afternoon!"

"Do you need me to go with you?" Wanda asked. "I can go alone, if there are too many people, I'm afraid she will not be happy." You were trying to be cautious after the incident with Sherry.

To make sure the interview goes well, many people stepped forward to help you, including those you have never interacted with before.

===

"Miss Romanoff, the two have arrived, they are just waiting for you." The waiter showed the two of you to the room before opening the door for you. "What is the occasion that made you think about treating us today?" From the way she speaks to Nat, you can tell that they have been friends for a long time. Additionally, you can't help but notice another female next to her. You never heard of her getting married.

"There must be an occasion to treat you?" She smiled at the response before standing and approaching Natasha. "So, this is your newly wedded wife?"

"Yes, this is her." You glanced at Natasha for a second, surprised to see that she actually admitted to it. "Hi, I am Carol Danvers. Just call me Carol." She extended her hand and you accepted the handshake. "Hello, I am Y/N Y/L/N." "Oh right, this is my wife, Valkyrie."

"Nice to meet you." You waved to her with a smile distant back. "So, how does it feel to marry this iceberg?" She inched closer and whispered next to your ears. "It... it feels alright." You replied while looking at Natasha. "I didn't believe that you could stand him."

"Huh?" You were about to ask her what she meant when Natasha cleared her throat, reminding you that you have something to ask of Carol. "Ah! Yes, Carol-"

"Oh yes! I came this time to give you an interview. Right, Nat..." Carol was very bold in teasing Natasha, making you wonder how long they have been friends.

The interview was very easygoing. Carol was a terrific interviewee, often giving juicy content. It felt like you were speaking to a longtime friend of yours, filled with laughter and jokes.

"Alright, thank you so much for accepting the interview. I need to call my team leader, you can chat around for a while first."

"Why did you suddenly get married? Didn't you say you weren't ready?" Carol asked when you stepped out of the room. She loves to hear such stories from her friends. "When the time comes, it will eventually happen."

The lunch ended on a nice note and you even exchanged numbers with her and her wife. You have a feeling that you're going to be great friends with them. On the way back, you asked Natasha who was working on the go how she knew you wanted to interview Carol. "I accidentally overheard your conversation on the phone on the balcony." She replied. You had a fluttering feeling in your body. You didn't expect her to help you like this. "I will also be going to your company for an interview." And you instantly pout again, this way Group 1 will still have an advantage by being able to interview her.

===

"Y/N!! You're the best! How did you do it? Wasn't Carol Danvers on vacation?" Wanda rushed over to hug you once you entered the building. "Well... about this, maybe her assistant put lots of good words for us, that's why Carol agreed to accept the interview." You felt bad lying to Wanda, but you had no choice. "Luckily we didn't give up, or else her assistant wouldn't have been touched by our resilience and helped us!"

"So what if you're done with Carol Danvers's interview?" Both of your heads turn to face Sharon who was looking smugly at the two of you. "Carol Danver is only a little famous, but Natasha Romanoff is different. Her reputation is much higher than Danver's."

"Sharon, your group and our group completed our task. Shouldn't we be happy?" Thank god for Wanda's tough side, you would never have spoken up like this. "Isn't it because you have someone at your back? I don't believe that without anyone's help, you would be able to see Carol Danvers."

"Nonsense. Why is Sharon so hot-tempered? She can't bear to see us living well?"

It wasn't long before rumours spread that Natasha Romanoff was in the building and many flocked to the entrance to be able to see a glimpse of her. Her presence was still able to turn many heads as she was wheeled in by Clint.

"Hello Miss Romanoff, welcome to our company." Sharon, as the team leader, went to greet her and introduced herself. "Miss Romanoff like some peace."

Finally noticing the crowd here, she immediately rushed the rest to leave and continue with their work. "Miss Romanoff, this way." She directed them to the meeting room and had to pass by the crowd you were in as Wanda dragged you there. You quickly turned away hoping she didn't see you but when she asked about your presence, you immediately clung onto Wanda and dragged her back to your table.

"Miss Y/L/N previously contacted Miss Romanoff saying she wants to do an interview." Clint clarified when Sharon didn't understand why she wanted to see you. "What? How could it be? It is Manager Dwayne from Romanoff Corporation who helped me arrange for this interview."

"Huh, I don't even know my schedule. When did it come to a little team leader to be able to make such a decision?" Sharon was at a loss for words, the first time being faced with her cold demeanour. "Since Miss Y/L/N is not here, let's leave. Clint."

"I'll call her right away." Sharon had no choice but to back down when she realised Natasha was going to leave.

"Millicent! I want to borrow Y/N Y/L/N from you. This time for Natasha Roamnoff's interview, I will give the newbie a chance."

"Are you really that kind?"

"Are you going to lend her or not?"

So that's how you and Wanda got the chance to interview Natasha Romanoff and speak to her. You started off by handing Natasha a rough script of what you were going to ask to make sure that the questions were okay and did not cross any boundaries. "I can't believe it, it really is my idol! When I saw her in magazines I thought she was beautiful enough. I didn't expect the real person to be even more beautiful!" Wanda was unable to contain her excitement being in the same room as her.

"Thank you for the invitation Miss Y/L/N." Natasha said when she returned the papers to you. Wanda could feel like something was in the air, but she didn't mention anything. "It's my pleasure, then let's get started, Miss Romanoff." You allowed Wanda to lead this interview, fulfilling her dreams of talking to her idol.

W: I heard that you have been in the business world since 20 years old. After nearly 10 years, you created the Romanoff Corporation. Can you share some experiences with us?

N: Talent.

W: Oh yes, previously you got married, but your wife's identity has always been a secret. Can you share a little on what kind of person your wife is?

N: She's very good. Probably because she is my most precious treasure in the world so I don't want to share her with anyone.

W: Is that why you won't disclose her identity?

N: Yes, she has her own life, I don't want her to be affected.

"Thank you Miss Romanoff for your cooperation today," Wanda said as you turned off the camera recording this session. "We shall see you off then."

"Oh god! I never thought that I would have a chance to have such close contact with my idol and even have a conversation!" Wanda squealed once Natasha left the door. "Wanda, you were very professional." You praised. "Of course I am."

"Ah shit! I forgot to ask her for an autograph." You smiled slightly at Wanda, at least it wasn't just you who was nervous.

"Where is the interview draft script and recording?" There it is, the devil that is constantly at your shoulder disrupting your life. "Sharon, what do you want to do?"

"Even if we gave you guys the interview, do you think we will also give you the interview results as well?" You had to resist rolling your eyes in front of her. "Then why would you go through the hassle of changing people for the interview?" You pushed her buttons, knowing the exact reason why she had to. "It is simply because Sharon was kind to train and give a chance to newbies so you guys got the chance to do the interview!"

"Fine, if that's the case, I remember there are newbies in Group 1 as well right?"

"You mean Group 2 will not share Natasha Romanoff's interview results right?"

"Sharon, what are you doing?" Millicent came to your rescue. "Miss Romanoff shouldn't have gone far, you can ask her some questions if you want. Then you will get a clearer understanding of her wishes."

"If we are going to disturb Miss Romanoff for such trivial matters, isn't it going to show our magazine agency is useless? This time I will let go of it, next time, I won't be so kind!" She and her lackeys finally left Group 2 alone.

You decided to call Natasha when almost everything was finished and ready to be published in tomorrow's paper. "Natasha, I just want to say... thank you for everything today..." You heard the call end and noticed that she hung up on you again. But this time, it was replaced with a message saying she was waiting for you outside.

===

Finally, it's been a long time since you felt so relaxed and refreshed, not having to worry about anything and coming back home for a fulfilling day. You can smile without having to put up a front. "Accompany me to a place tomorrow," Natasha said as you were having dinner together. "Then I will apply for a leave later."

"Just to let you know, since you got to interview Carol and I, your company decided to give you a week off as a reward."

"Really?!"

"Yes."

"Since there is no way to treat you to a meal, I will accompany you wherever you go next week!" Despite dressing in simple clothes, Natasha felt your smile was able to make your entire aura brighter, and even the people around you melt.

"Does this count as a honeymoon?"

Series Masterlist

[poppadom0912]

Hi! You have so many good Chicago stories! I had an idea for a Will Halstead fic, if you'd be interested... OC/Reader is a nurse at Med, she and Will are a (newish?) couple. She has been sick or hurt, but isn't telling Will, to avoid worrying him - Sharon (or someone) has been on his ass, for something he didn't do of course, but he's been under a microscope, so she doesn't want to bother or distract him - until she passes out or ends up in an OR (depending on the illness/injury) and he finds out after the fact... Heavy on the angst is always good ;)

A/N: I'm a sucker for angst. Hope this is good enough. I tried researching as accurately as possible but there might be inaccuracies.

I'm posting this is celebration of not failing my exams which means no resitting! I didn't get the high grades I wanted but we move on. Enjoy!! Hope this is good enough.

Warnings: Canon-typical injuries, blood, angst w a happy ending, surgery

*****

Becoming a nurse was inevitable for you because it was the next best thing after a doctor and you didn't want to go through all those extra years of learning and debt.

You were born with a congenital heart defect as a result of your mother poorly caring for her diabetes during pregnancy. All your life, your parents had been on top of your health, always dragging you to specialists and making sure you were still taking your meds.

You moved states several years ago and now you weren't constantly reminded of the defect you were born with.

There were times though when you did get forgetful and Will never complained about your bad trait that you couldn't handle, he shrugged it off and made sure your health was one hundred percent.

Your relationship was in the honeymoon phase, six months in you were both decently comfortable. Everyone was aware of your relationship but you both agreed to keep work at work and home at home.

Recently, Will was under extra scrutiny from Sharon because of a small incident that happened in the ED when his brother rolled up bleeding from his shoulder. No one could blame him for his reaction, it was completely justified but that hospital were being asses and wouldn't let go.

Following this, your interactions at work decreased at your suggestion to make things a little easier for him. And at first, it was working but then it just got straight up frustrating.

All of a sudden, following the intense summer heatwave, everyone's workload doubled and your hours never lined up. You'd be leaving and he'd be preparing for his second double shift of the week.

And things only got worse from there. You were so busy because of the nurse shortages that your priorities began shifting, your health dwindling down the list.

But no one needed to know that.

*****

Week One

"And that's me done, you ready to break?" Will asked, setting aside the tablet on the desk. You both took your breaks together as much as you could, any time you could get together you would take.

"Yes I am." You nodded, slipping your hand into his as you began walking out of the ED. "I remember someone promising coffee from the cart outside."

Will chuckled, rolling his eyes at the reminder of the expensive coffee sitting outside that you loved. Just as he was going to reply, Maggie shouting your name stopped him.

Sighing, your heart felt heavy both figuratively and literally. With a sheepish smile, you pecked him on the cheek with a promise to catch him later on during shift.

Not being able to get a word in, Will simply watched you scurry off to help the next incoming patient, leaving him to change directions towards the cafeteria.

*****

Week two

You should've been more attentive but being short of breath after a run wasn't uncommon. It was early morning and Will's side of the bed was empty so you took what used to be a daily run alone.

As the day progressed, you started feeling tired and your fatigue progressed. It should've been the first sign to you that you needed to slow down and take care of yourself but the next shooting in Chicago just couldn't wait.

"Y/N, are you okay?" April asked, standing besides you with a new file in hand. "You look pale."

"I'm fine." You assured her, nodding as you licked your drying lips. "And before you ask, Will doesn't know and doesn't need to be interrupted, he has a patient in the ICU."

April backed away apprehensively, always trying to check up with you whenever time permitted. Maybe she was also to blame for not being more forceful with her concerns.

It wasn't her fault that she forgot you had a heart disease.

*****

Week three

"I love you so much." You muttered against his forehead before stepping away to leave the dark bedroom.

Will stirred slightly at the contact, shifting under the covers and further messing up his curls you so badly wanted to delve your fingers into but you were on a time crunch.

Just as you were leaving the room, your chest clenched, pain suddenly overtaking you. Clutching onto the door frame, your grip slacked and your bag dropped causing Will to wake up.

"What's wrong?" Will asked in his half awake state, completely disheveled. He was blinking the sleep away while he turned to you and tried to see what was wrong but failed due to severe sleep deprivation.

"Are you okay? What happened?" He continued, voice hoarse like it usually was after a deep sleep

For some reason, you struggled to form words, your chest feeling as though it was being stabbed repeatedly.

And for some reason, you couldn't come up with a logical excuse and you stupidly left without a word to your lover.

*****

Week four

You couldn't ignore it anymore.

It felt like your body was starting to give up on you. You were constantly tired and out of breath and the chest pains never let up, at times, they even doubled and felt worse than the worst of your period cramps.

The biggest flashing red warning sign should've been when you fainted in the bathroom after your shower.

You came home shattered from your 24 hour shift. Just as you walked in the door, Will was leaving for his 48 hour shift. At this point, you really felt like the world was against you.

You were kinda like roommates more than romantic partners. You were barely at home together and at work, you tried to keep interactions to a minimum after the small incident that the board was elevating ridiculously.

Waking up on the bathroom rug, your body felt numb almost paralysed. It was like what movies described comas to be but your chest was still pulsating in pain.

You weren't being a really good nurse because you simply got up, drank some water and ate some food before sleeping it off.

*****

Week five

The silence was suffocating.

The two of you finally got more than two minutes together but words somehow failed you.

With droopy eyes and furrowed brows, your hands itched to grab the blue scrubs covering your chest. If it wasn't for your boyfriend sitting opposite you, you would've been hunched over the sinks in the women's room.

"What's wrong?" It was a question but with that tone, it felt more like a demand. His two words hit you hard, your eyes dragging from the table up to his big brown eyes filled with nothing but eternal love and concern. "And don't say nothing cause that's clearly bullshit."

And for some reason, you flinched.

Licking your chapped lips, you scrunched your eyes closed at the pain encasing your heart. Despite being back on your medication, the pain didn't cease.

"Y/N? Baby-"

"CODE SILVER. CODE SILVER IN THE ED."

*****

Today

For the past week, Will was hypervigilant about his work. Peter kalmik was never his biggest fan so it didn't help he was constantly making his presence known along with the more power holding board members.

You hated how he no longer fought his case and he just conformed, keeping his head buried in the sand and distanced himself from those he cared about.

It got to such a point that when Jay came in with only work intentions, Will physically forced himself to stay well away.

You were so caught up in your concern for him that you neglected your medication on the kitchen counter.

The pain today all of a sudden increased tenfold in the middle of shift. You were helping Doris turn over a treatment room, listening as she talked about her family drama that you loved to hear about when you felt the world come to an abrupt stop.

Before you knew it, breath escaped you and darkness enveloped you.

“Y/N?!” Doris shouted, going around the bed and crouching down besides your unconscious body.

As she started checking your pulse and your breathing, Connor ran in with Maggie in tow having witnessed you fall from the nurses desk.

In a flurry of rushed movements, you were placed on a bed as your friends searched for the cause of your unconscious state. Out of the blue, Maggie spoke up, reminding everyone of your heart condition.

Equipped with the new but old information, the cardiothoracic surgeon was now more than confident he was able to help you.

"Whose her emergency contact? Is it still her parents or has it been changed to Will?" Connor asked the charge nurse as they started wheeling the gurney towards the elevators. They needed to get you into surgery as soon as possible before you deteriorated.

"Good question."

"Page him anyways."

"Already on it."

*****

"I'm a horrible boyfriend."

"No you're not."

"All the signs were there and I missed them."

"We did too."

"I know Connor is one of the best but what if-"

"I'm going to stop you right there." Maggie cut him off, looking at him sternly, eerily resembling the face of a mother telling off her child. "This is no ones fault and you know that, stop punishing yourself for something no one could control."

Will opened his mouth to interject but stopped himself when Maggie held her hand up. "Yes, maybe Y/N should've taken better care of herself but as a doctor, you know that this surgery was inevitable anyways."

"It's better that she was already in the hospital and not home alone where no one would've noticed till you finished in another eight hours." Maggie continued, being more gentle as she got her point across. She was just as concerned but for everyone else's sake, she could be their pillar.

"Look at her Will." Maggie said, gently rubbing him on the back, hopefully bringing him some comfort. "She's in the best hands."

And of course Will knew that, he wouldn't say it to Connor's face but the man was a heck of a surgeon. There was no one else he would want operating on you but he was simply unnerved to no end.

He couldn't wipe off this icky feeling he had. It lurked around him like a shadow and stuck to him like a stain. He felt like a failure - he was unable to help you as both a doctor and a boyfriend - what good was he?

News spread of your collapse around the hospital and as an automatic response, the hospital board stepped metres away from Will, almost like he was sick with a deathly contagious disease.

It was so stupid that it was funny.

Will wanted to rip his hair out. How he was even standing watching your surgery was beyond him right now. He felt sick to his stomach at the sight of your chest cracked open, your heart just there for the world to see.

He never felt so useless before.

*****

Waking up was one of the most confusing scenarios you've ever been in. The last thing you remembered was being in the ED with Doris before blinking and the next thing you knew, you were waking up in recovery.

Your body felt like the heaviest gym weights were sat on you. Your mouth unbelievably dry as your eyes squinted in the dim lighting, trying to look around the room for any sign of life.

And right by your bedside, sleeping in a very awkward position was the man you considered the love of your life.

It must've been the movement of your head, you literally turning your head less than 90 degrees that woke him up because without any further prompting, Will was no longer dead to the world.

Instantly, he was alive and alert, no trace of sleep anywhere on his face as he made eye contact with you.

He felt as light as a feather to see you awake, the biggest weight being lifted off his chest from the relief that nothing went wrong despite knowing Connor made no mistake at all.

"Pulmonary valve stenosis." Was the first thing Will said, easily recognising the confusion painting your face. "Connor put in a balloon. They'll keep you for probably a week to monitor you to see if you need a valvotomy."

You hummed, letting him know that you understood everything he told you without talking. Somehow, without even looking at him, he knew and brought forth a cup with a straw in, holding it to your mouth allowing you to sip easily.

"I'm so sorry Y/N." Will said earnestly, his eyes shimmering as he intertwined your fingers with his. "I wasn't paying enough attention to you otherwise-"

"Stop." You interrupted him, voice still slightly hoarse from not using it. "Blaming yourself helps no one."

"What's done is done." You continued, squeezing his hands when he squeezed yours first. "I'm really the one to blame. If I took care of myself and did something when I first was having problems then we wouldn't be here."

Silence followed, the only sound being the constant beeping from all the machines attached to you.

"Never faint on me again, you hear me?"

"Can't promise you that babes."

"Yes you can."

"You're hilarious Will."

"No, I'm being serious Y/N."

"Don't make me laugh, where's Connor Rhodes, my favourite doctor?"

"Very funny, I think I'll buy April expensive cart coffee next time."