flocculents

[natasha-in-space]

The Beginning of the End

Series: 'A Wilted Daffodil' (AO3 link): Ch. 1 (you are here!), Ch. 2;

Characters/pairing: Rika/cmc Chaewon Lee, Jihyun Kim;

Summary: Everyone experiences grief differently. The loss of a loved one can be both debilitating and overwhelming, leaving you with no idea how to continue living without them. Chaewon is familiar with the grieving process of families and loved ones. Unfortunately, working as a nurse comes with the responsibility of bearing witness to some very tragic events. But she never thought she would have to see her own dear friend crushed by a sudden loss nobody has ever seen coming.

CW for: pet loss, grief;

Credits: picrew by wagirain, dividers by @/saradika-graphics.

"-She got run over, Chaewon, she's dead, and it's all my fault. I knew it. I knew I should've listened to Jumin! Why did I ever think that I knew better what she truly needed...? She must've suffered so much... And I couldn't do anything for her, I couldn't save her...!"

Chaewon felt a terrible chill run down her spine as she held the phone up to her ear nimbly. Rika's voice sounded so utterly broken and anguished that she could practically feel her dear friend's breath getting caught in her throat as she stumbled over her words in hysterics. A heavy lump of dread suddenly blocked her airways, taking her voice away from her. She felt her entire body freezing up completely as all that she could do in the moment was just stand there, not knowing what to do or what to say.

Sally meant everything to Rika. Chaewon understood that Sally was not just a beloved dog, she was much more than that. Before herself, RFA, or even Jihyun, Sally was Rika's loyal companion and first source of comfort when she needed it most. She knew that much from the many conversations her and Rika had shared. To lose someone like that... in such a horrendous and abrupt way nonetheless...

Oh God, she was starting to get really scared for Rika now. Who knew what she would do in such a vulnerable state of mind?

She clenched her free hand into a tight fist, her fingernails digging into the skin of her palm, until she had to hold herself back from wincing. At the very least, this enabled her to keep her head above water and avoid complete freeze-up. Swallowing down the lump in her throat, she pushed through the paralyzing unease snaking its invisible tendrils around her body and mind, and spoke up, sounding uncharacteristically stuttery and high-pitched for her usual tone of voice. She would feel embarrassed about it, if not for the horrible situation at hand keeping all of her focus away.

"...Rika, listen to me, just- stay on the phone with me, alright? Are you at home? I'm coming right over. Just- Hold on for me, okay? I... I'll be right there. It'll be okay. I promise," Chaewon muttered hurriedly into the phone as she sprinted off from the supply closet she had tucked herself into to take this call as fast as her legs could carry her. Her heart was pounding in her chest with so much force, she was afraid it might just stop beating altogether. And, she couldn't allow that. Not right now. The words she spoke sounded extremely foolish. Of course it won't be okay. It won't ever be okay. But, she didn't know what else to say. She needed time to think, but she didn't have that luxury right now.

So, she ran.

Everything else was lost in the haze of panic, confusion, and frustration. It was probably incredibly reckless and irresponsible of her to just abandon her nursing post like this, especially right at the beginning of her night shift. But she barely gave a single thought about that right now, however selfish it was on her part. Nothing was more important than getting to Rika's side as fast as humanely possible. Before something bad could happen. Before she becomes even more afflicted than she already is, in any way or another. Chaewon was always a self-centered person, in the end. She accepted that. But Rika... Rika gave so much of herself away in order to help others, to make people smile, to give them hope for a better future.

Rika was not even comparable to Chaewon, and consequently, she did not deserve to experience such a terrible loss alone.

It was truly a miracle that she didn't get hit on her way there. Her driving was extremely erratic and dangerous. She won't be at all surprised to find a notification about a fine or two for exceeding the speed limit once this all blows over. Even if she knew, deep down, that it won't. And that was scary to think about. She told herself that she was just panicking, and that's why this harrowing feeling was scratching at her insides like a caged wild animal. The feeling of something going horribly wrong. The feeling of things collapsing and never being the same again.

Chaewon ignored it.

She was able to reach Jihyun's secluded home safely and with her car intact, thanks to pure luck. Feeling relieved wasn't possible for her, however. None of it truly mattered once she saw Rika's small trembling frame sitting all alone at the front porch, her head tucked tightly into her knees, almost like she was trying to curl herself up into the tiniest human ball imaginable. It looked painful. Chaewon was sure her back must have hurt from staying in such an unnatural position. How long had she even been like that? Seeing Rika like this broke her heart. Usually, she'd get greeted by cheerful barking and her friend's soft giggling, as she stepped through the front gate to usher her inside for a cup of fresh pomegranate tea. Now, Chaewon heard nothing but the heartbreaking sounds of hoarse sobs and labored breathing. It all felt like a big, horrible nightmare she would wake up from any minute now. Her only wish was to wake up. Oh, how she wished for this to be nothing but a cruel trick of the mind.

However, this was a reality. She had no choice but to confront it head on.

Chaewon rushed towards Rika, clumsily squatting on her knees in front of her on the pavement, her hands stopping only inches from touching her. It didn't matter that her pants were now soiled from the damp ground from the rain. It didn't matter that she accidentally grazed her hand against the edge of the wooden door that hung right open - another thing that was horribly out of place. It was as if the entire world has faded from existence, leaving only her suffering friend and the deafening sound of her own blood pumping in her temples, making it very hard to focus. She was genuinely beginning to suspect that she was on the brink of a panic attack, and she had the urge to curse outloud at the realization. Of all the times she could loose her cool, this one just had to happen.

But... She was scared.

Chaewon was incapable of providing comfort to others. She could treat a nasty-looking physical wound and not bat an eye at the blood and gore, she could fight off a bully just fine, or she come to someone's defense with a strong word or two without a second thought. But... such fragile and emotionally driven ordeals? Rika's forte was always those things. Or Jihyun's, for that matter, as much as she hated to admit that. Yet another reason why that man would always be better than her in one way or another. But, this was not the occasion for her pity party. Rika, she needs her right now. And any comfort would still be better than no comfort at all. At least, she hoped so. She didn't come here for no reason.

Don't worry about it, just do it.

"...Rika? We should-"

She failed to finish her sentence.

"-She's gone forever now, Chaewon, and it's all my fault! I'm never going to see her again. I didn't even... I didn't even get to give her any proper goodbye. She must have died in so much pain, so scared, feeling so betrayed and alone... I can't... I can't handle this. Not without her. Oh, Sally... My Sally..." Rika sobbed, choking on every painful word crawling up from her raw throat, almost like it was her own words tearing at her trachea, rather than the globus sensation that appears during emotionally vexing situations. Some part of Chaewon felt gross that she was applying her medical knowledge even in such an emotional situation. She felt like it was wrong of her. Still, Rika's breathing was growing more and more ragged with every passing second, and she needed to try and fix that. Or, at the very least, mitigate. She was aware that this was bad. This was very bad. She never saw Rika like this before. So vulnerable, so... so hurt.

She tried to tame her voice by swallowing shakily. This isn't good enough. She needed to ask: "Does V-"

Once more, Chaewon was interrupted. She was beginning to believe that she would not be able to achieve anything at this rate.

"-I thought she would be fine on her own. I thought I was doing the right thing... I swear, I-I took my eyes off of her for just a moment! I never imagined... Oh God, I couldn't do anything. Not a single thing!"

"Rika, please, you need to listen to-"

"-I wish... I-I wish it was me who got hit by that car instead! She was so much more deserving of a chance to live! She was good! Not me! I killed her! I... I hate myself. I hate myself for letting her die-!"

"-Rika! Stop it!"

As if she was on impulse, she darted close and tightened her grip on Rika's shoulders, feeling her heart dropping all the way into her stomach at such frightful words. She was experiencing pure panic at this point. Her hands were trembling. Her hands never trembled like this before. What is her responsibility here? What should she say?

Her voice was breaking, every word slipping off her tongue before she could even process them. She couldn't think straight. This was not good. She didn't act rationally whenever she got like this. She would just make everything worse, "Don't you ever say such things again! This is not your fault! These sorts of things happen all the time! Please, you had no play in any of this!"

"How can you even say that!? You weren't there!" Rika shouted back, but it sounded more like a broken wail than an angry scream. Despite everything, Chaewon's heart still hurt, "You don't know how much she suffered, you don't know what pain she was in! If I had just given her that surgery, none of this would have happened!"

Chaewon tried to calm her racing mind by running a hand through her messy black locks, which have gotten damp from the light rain trickling down on them from above. This wasn't good. She was handling this poorly, as expected. She needed to get herself together, think of something, anything. Screaming and arguing won't get her anywhere. This isn't a debate.

"...Sally wouldn't have wanted to see you blaming yourself like this, Rika," in a hushed voice, she murmured, releasing a soft sigh to calm her nerves before continuing, "She was loved by you. More than I've ever seen anyone love their pet before. And you were loved by her, too. You are still loved by her."

The tiny little sound almost that came from Rika as a response almost made Chaewon cry herself, as her friend whimpered. Rika appeared like a small helpless child, feeling scared, lost, and confused after losing something she had never expected to lose. It was absolutely heartwrenching to see.

"...I don't deserve her love. It all feels so empty. Like a part of me was ripped away, and it hurts. It hurts so much, Chaewon. I thought I was used to this pain, but... but it's too much."

She had a desire to have a separate conversation with Rika about that. There was always a part of her that knew there was more to the lighthearted beautiful woman she fell in love with a year ago. Some part of her that felt concerned about all the tiny signs she pretended not to notice, since Rika never brought them up. Some part of her that longed to be the one to ease Rika's wounded heart. But... Wouldn't that be selfish of her? Feeling wanted by someone who had only seen her as a close friend was all she wanted. It wasn't right for her to be greedy. Especially right now. Rika had Jihyun. Jihyun brought her happiness. Jihyun was supposed to make her happy.

Otherwise... what point was there in her just standing by all this time?

Without pause, Chaewon gently stroked the side of Rika's face with her fingers, discovering her skin to be damp and cold. As if the misery she was experiencing on the inside was slowly evolving and transforming what was on the outside to match its cruel image. It hurt her heart to see.

"Please don't say that..." What else could she possibly say? She couldn't bring Sally back. She couldn't ask her not to cry. She was incapable of making it all right. She felt so frustrated and helpless. If only she could take away even the smallest portion of this pain Rika was feeling and redirect it onto herself instead, she would've done so without a second thought.

"I hate this... Why did she have to suffer like this...? Why couldn't she just live a peaceful and happy life? She was good... She was pure. Not like me. What did she ever do to deserve such a horrible death? Why does God always hurt those that are innocent in such cruel ways!?"

Chaewon was uncertain about what to say to that. Rika didn't seem to be listening to her at this point. She just breathed out shakily, pulling herself up to sit beside her and carefully rest her chin atop of Rika's head, once she knew she wouldn't push her away. If only her embrace could protect her from all the pain in this world.

If only it was that simple.

"She's not in pain anymore... I promise," that was all she could muster up, however clumsy it was. In a somewhat awkward embrace, she gently held Rika's small trembling frame close. She did not compel her to release her knees or raise her head. She just wanted to make her feel that she wasn't alone right now. A small sigh escaped her, as she could feel a small damp spot slowly forming in her shirt, where Rika buried her face in, her entire body wracked with painful sobs. She wished their first embrace had not occurred under such heartbreaking circumstances, "...It wasn't your fault."

It might be more effective to be truthful instead of improvising. Rika's head was now being carefully caressed by her, and Chaewon noticed that her normally soft and beautiful golden locks were tangled and rough to the touch. It made her purse her lips tightly in displeasure: "Rika... I want to help you. In any way I can. Please... tell me what should I do. I... I don't know. I need you to tell me."

"J-Just stay. Don't leave. Please," Although Rika's voice was barely audible, she still managed to hear what she was saying. The sensation of her fingers digging into her shoulders was intense, almost to the point of being painful. She didn't care, "I'm scared..."

"Don't be. I'm here. I'm right here," Chaewon mumbled, pulled her friend close, and just let her cry. Maybe there wasn't any need for words right now. She didn't know. She just knew that she wouldn't leave her alone in such a state, "I'll be here for as long as you need me to be."

After an hour had passed, Chaewon heard a car screeching to halt near the front entrance of the house, followed by hurried footsteps. She wasn't at all surprised to see the tall man with messy mint hair once she lifted her head up from where it had loyally remained on Rika's for the past hour. A silent moment of sorrow and mutual understanding passed between the two, nothing but the sound of Jihyun's ragged breaths and the quiet pitter-patter of rain filling the air around them.

It looks like she's not the only one who dropped everything to come as soon as possible.

"...Is she...?"

"I think she fell asleep," Chaewon quietly responded, not even bothering to listen to the entire question. Rika was probably exhausted, both physically and mentally, from the immense stress she had to go through in the past few hours. No wonder she eventually just drifted off to sleep. Perhaps, it was better for her to just not think about anything for a while and sleep.

Jihyun sighed, his hands shaking noticeably while he fumbled with the corners of his jacket. Chaewon felt comforted to know that she wasn't the only one feeling overwhelmed by this situation, in an ironic sense. Finally, he spoke up again, carefully sitting down on the same porch her and Rika were nestled upon, his hand carefully brushing a strand of his fiance's hair behind her ear. There was genuine heartache in his eyes, and she had to look away from the scene dejectedly: "I came as soon as I heard. I... Is she okay? Did she..."

Chaewon believed that his question had a greater significance than simply expressing concern for his lover's well-being. She tried to get rid of that strange thought, but it persisted in the back of her mind, like a parasite slowly extending its tentacles into her mind.

It appeared that he was asking if Rika had done anything. She was unaware of whether that was to herself or someone else. But, it alarmed her nonetheless.

To avoid disturbing her unconscious friend, Chaewon shook her head slightly: "She's alright. I think. Aside from... possible raw throat, tense back and headache, she should be fine. Physically."

She was certain that she would have noticed any wounds right away.

Jihyun sighed with relief, but no joy was present. Chaewon couldn't hold him accountable for it: "Thank you... For being with her when I couldn't. I am... ever so grateful she had you by her side right now."

She felt like screaming when she saw the small smile of gratitude he gave her. Him being genuine was the most unfair aspect of it all. Jihyun was a good and caring man. Although, she had more in common with his friend Jumin, rather than the photographer himself. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't hate him. And her feeling so disgusted with herself was caused by the ugly feelings of jealousy and envy that were eating away at her from the inside. Jihyun considered her a dear friend, and here she was, getting all worked up over him rightfully caring and worrying over his fiance.

It's a shame that she's so selfish.

Chaewon bit the inside of her cheek in a mixture of frustration and pain, feeling the slight taste of copper on her tongue. Right. She was merely a friend. To Jihyun and Rika all the same. A close friend. Nothing more. Jihyun was the one Rika trusted the most. He knew the parts of her that she was never allowed to see.

What's the worst aspect of it all? It's that Jihyun was a better match for Rika, as she was aware. He was kind, gentle, artistic, loving. He was everything that Rika valued in a person. Chaewon's behavior was characterized by bluntness, forcefulness, and practicality. She was incapable of competing with this man for her heart. And did she even want to do that? It's not like she ever tried. She just sat back without doing or saying anything.

It seemed like there was a pattern in her life.

Agh, take a look at yourself. You're too busy feeling sorry for yourself about some stupid crush, even though your friend just lost her beloved companion. Get a grip. Chaewon quickly chastised herself as she tried to redirect her attention back to what was truly important right now, rather than her pitiful lovesickness.

"We should... probably carry her in. You should have her take a warm bath once she wakes up. Or give her a warm beverage. She might get sick after staying out in the rain like this," she mumbled quietly while untangling a few of Rika's golden curls to distract herself from something else. She certainly did not want to imagine Jihyun taking care of Rika like that. But... She wasn't one to be petty. At least not outwardly. She could be petty, angry, and upset all she wanted once she gets home, where her selfish outbursts won't harm anyone.

Jihyun carefully stood up from his spot while nodding: "Yes, you're right. I'll keep in contact with you. She might need her friend by her side once she wakes up."

"...Right."

Her friend. Chaewon prayed that she did not sound too bitter. She wished to avoid being perceived as an asshole. She made sure to help Jihyun carry Rika back into the house, offering a few more tips out of what little she knew. Of course, those were all health-related. Not much she could advise on emotions.

After drinking her stress away for a few hours that night, she sunk into bed with a bad feeling that kept her awake until early morning. A sensation of horror, disgust, and chilliness. The same one that she felt back in her car. It never left. It just faded onto the background. However, it was ever present. Demanding to be listened to. The feeling of things never being the same again. The feeling of something horrible lurking just around the corner. Something that would forever alter everything.

A point of no return. The beginning of the end.

Chaewon ignored it, just like she had done before.

[ironinkpen]

just had the funniest thought in the world which is what if the reason Kipperlilly Clerickiller first started hating Riz was bc she wanted Kristen as her cleric. like wanted her SO fucking bad. her type A ass 100% scoped out her classmates before the first day of freshman year so she could build the optimal party, and imagine her excitement when she found out! that they had a real live Chosen One in their grade!! she probably practiced the snobby little speech she was gonna give Kristen for HOURS, already mentally mapping out her path to valedictorian. meanwhile Riz walks in with a briefcase and a newsie hat and a missing babysitter to find and stumbles into Kipperlilly's Number One Draft Pick by accident in detention. how much do you think she lost her little fucking mind

[ptieuca]

buffy + angel's cross

[artharakka]

Beautiful, But Broken

[cosmichorrorlesbians]

Chapter 24, And We'd Be Gone Without A Trace

Chapter 45, Of Love, And Gods' Defeat (Part Two)

So Carpenter's worst nightmare came true, in the end.

[s0fter-sin]

ghost stares at the ceiling, chest heaving in a harsh pant; sweat ice on his clammy flesh and soaked into the sheet he restlessly kicks away.

ears still ringing, his fingertips blindly drift down to trail along his vivisection scar. he half-expects blood to smear in their wake. his own line of solomon, who ordered him split in twain; half of him given to a grieving mother and half left with the grieving to be.

just for both his broken halves to be rejected.

what did it make him that his mother grieved him more than she loved him? that she begged to be relieved of him more adamantly than she begged to receive him? why did his worth spill out with his drawn blood? why was his pain lesser than hers?

his hand flexes, digging into the raised scar like it’ll part beneath his fingertips to plunge into his mangled insides. no one knows the cruelty of reforming the halved; his name, his being, not nearly as important as his body when he was stripped from himself. no one knows the pain of healing and understanding losing pieces of yourself means losing your value along with them.

how many more pieces did he have to lose before he was halved once more? before his very presence incurred grief so strong it was better to be rid of him than cradle his bloodied remains?

did the infant fight himself? did he age always at odds with himself; his halves never truly whole? he hopes he wasn’t, that he was spared the loss of self; the fear that one may be welcomed over the other.

who will he lose when the inevitable comes? when he’s ripped apart again? simon? or ghost? is it better to be cursed with choice just like his mother or live with an aftermath chosen for him? does it matter if in the end, he convinces himself there was nothing of him left to lose?

his head lolls to the side and the wild buck of his chest slows. he watches johnny beside him, his face lax with the rare peace of sleep; his cheek squished against the pillow, his lips pursed as long breaths escape him.

johnny. soap. never torn asunder but two all the same.

he carefully reaches out and ghosts his fingers along the jagged scar on his chin. even in sleep, he presses into his bloodied touch. he’s never fled his half-flesh, never shies away from his gore as it spills unbidden from his cleaved torso. he holds on where his mother let him go; cups his stomach to hold his insides in place and never minds the blood that drips through his fingers.

simon will never let him become his own solomon and cannibalise himself. he will never let him question which half of him has more value; which pieces he can afford to lose before he’s cast aside.

ghost’s soap. simon’s johnny. his.

whole, in any incarnation.

[pettyprocrastination]

whoever this beloved anon was I am so touched by your kindness! You definitely didn’t have to do this but I am so happy you enjoy this idea and I will happily expand upon it for you!

this is just a collection of word vomit bullet points for the time being but I will happily answer any and all questions about this pair!!

warnings: violence, angst, child death (Sarah Miller), foul language, the same warnings that apply to tlou, reader is Sarah's mom and described as having similar features to her. 

So the general Idea is that you and Joel are happily married before the outbreak. 

You had been Sarah's mother, his high school sweetheart he got pregnant when neither of you were old enough to have any reaction to the pregnancy test other than a fucking panic attack in one another’s arms. but you made it work 

you both worked but made time for one another and your sweet girl, going to museums every other weekend and joel insisting on swooping you off for a date every now and then 

nothing special. He knows you’re more of a diner gal than anything too fancy that makes you both feel out of place. 

On his birthday in 2003, you had planned to tell him that you were pregnant again. But the memories of your own fears of motherhood from all those years ago begin to swirl through your head again and you get cold feel. deciding to tell him the morning after

it is his birthday afterall, you want to focus on him. 

but when you’re woken up in the middle of the night because tommy needs to get bailed out, Joel kisses you sweetly one last time before promising he’ll be back and you can’t shake the feeling that something bad is happening. 

its you that shakes sarah awake that night. shouting at her to put on her shoes when she’s still rubbing the sleep from her eyes because you’ve been listening to the radio for the past two hours, calling joel again and again and again praying for him to fucking pick up but to no avail. 

Sarah, bless your little girl’s bleeding heart is the one who insists you check on the adler’s against your better suspicions and when you find the eldest looming over her daughter, blood and sinew dripping from her mouth, you grab your daughter hand and burst into a full sprint until something slams into your back and sends you tumbling onto their front lawn

its how joel finds you, struggling to keep the once sweet old woman, whose now nothing more than dead eyes and gnashing teeth straining to snap at your pulse point as you push against her while sarah shrieks before your husband runs forward and cracks her skull with a wrench. 

there’s hardly a moment of pause, just enough for him to pull you up and into his arms before he’s ushering you both into the car with an urgency. 

when the truck crashes, you get separated from them. Perhaps at Tommy’s side when the flames rise and create a wall, separating you from your husband, or maybe pulled into the mob of chaos when trying to escape from those already infected-

all joel knows is that you promise you’ll find him: just get sarah to safety and you’ll meet him at the river

Poor thing is already so frightened, held in her father’s arms with tears streaming down her face insisting they can’t leave you they just can’t but her father kisses her forehead and reassures her its going to be okay 

“we just need to be brave, okay babygirl? Your mama’s real tough, she’s gonna be alright.” 

he isn’t sure if he’s saying it to his daughter or himself. 

but when he comes to the river you aren’t there. Only a soldier who points a gun at the scared little girl in his arms and then he loses everything

its when the light is gone from his daughter’s eyes that he realizes. His voice cracked and raw from sobbing that he looks around to see his brother with drawn in shoulders and tears in his eyes but his wife is nowhere to be found. 

Tommy says you got lost in the chaos. Everything was so loud, so sudden that he turned around and suddenly you weren’t there. 

Joel wants to go back but its Tommy that stops him, that dulls the red in his vision to a sad faded pink because his brother points at the orange horizon not too far from them, so much of the city is already in flames. 

“We’re gonna find her, but not there.” 

So Joel searches. for the first year spent in the world post-outbreak its all he did. 

He became a smuggler because of it. 

Information came at a price and he needed to be able to fucking pay it, whether it be in blood or ration cards. He was willing to do anything to find you or any thin thread that lead your way. 

But it’s Tommy that asks him to give up. Not in those words of course. 

The youngest Miller knows better than to say something so cruel that would make his brother, the only person he has in this world turn on him. 

But his voice is worried when he asks him one night in Boston when he hasn’t even had the chance to wash the blood from his knuckles 

“You think she would have wanted this for you?” 

the fight that followed his words was brutal. Vicious insults and scarred fists slamming against each brother until they're both too tired and bloody to continue. Each leaning against a wall for support and Tommy’s wavering voice breaking the silence. 

“I don’t know where she is, Joel. But I do know you're gonna get yourself killed if you keep lookin’ for her.” 

All he can do is nod. 

It’s a few days later when he meets Tess. Who has heard plenty of stories about the elder miller’s brutality and wants him to put that muscle to good use for some extra profit. 

It begins his new life. One that empty and cold but one he can live. 

Until of course, Ellie comes along. The sweet and incredibly opinionated girl that makes him become something akin to the man he thought died twenty years ago. 

its when he’s traveling with Ellie, that it happens. When a warm familiarity has settled between the two because so much blood and pain has been shared he can’t help but see her as something close, something bright even though all he can force himself to utter in her reference is “cargo” 

when theyre traveling through the woods as Ellie chatters away, probing his memory about a movie that may or may not have existed thirty years ago because her descriptions of the plot are incredibly odd he hears a voice shout for them to stop and finds himself staring at a man- no, a boy- pointing a gun at them. 

Ellie stills, but Joel can see enough to know that from the lanky figure and dimpled face that he’s young. Maybe twenty, twenty-two at the oldest, but his eyes dart from Joel to Ellie with a pinprick of fear that allows Joel the time to charge forward and slam him to the ground before wrestling the gun from his hands. 

He has enough to time to tuck it under the stranger’s chin before he hears the sound of the safety being turned off and finds himself looking up and seeing a gun just inches from his face. 

Joel’s head whips around when Ellie’s voice calls out his name in fear, he turns to see another stranger holding her a gun point, shoulders drawn back and a shadow cast over their face by the had obstructing their identity. 

“You hurt one of mine, I hurt one of yours. That a fair deal?” 

Its takes him a moment to recognize you. It’s been so long since he’s heard your voice, the sweet tease when you would poke at him each time he woke up late despite the fact that you reminded him to set his alarm the night before, the times you’d chide him with a harsh “Joel Miller!” whispered in public anytime he was able to grab you a bit too passionately to be appropriate in public but the laughter in your voice let him know you were never truly mad at him. You didn’t know how to be. 

But that sweetness is buried under a cold rasp that cuts through the air as you point a rifle at the scared little girl in front of you.

“You think I won’t?” You’re older now, skin covered in scars from a life he didn’t know you got the chance to live and your eyes are cold as they regard your husband. “Put the gun down and get the fuck off of him, I won’t repeat myself.” 

Joel mumbles your name in awe. The woman he loved, the woman he mourned the one he fought so hard to find stands before him like some sort of hallucination and suddenly the world feels like its spinning until you bark orders at him again. 

“You’ve got five seconds Joel, make a fucking choice before I make it for you.” 

He looks down and realizes the boy under him, the one with the bleeding nose and snarling face has your eyes and his dimples. 

“One.” 

The one above him has Sarah’s hair. Soft brown curls that shine under the sun. 

“Two”

Wait. No, they both do.

“Three.” 

Twins. Jesus fucking Christ you had twins. 

“Four.” 

Joel holds the rifle up above his head and the one boy standing snatches it from his grasp, tossing it to the ground and kicking it far from his reach. He slowly stands, allowing your son- dear god your son- to scramble to his feet. 

Your voice softens just for a moment. “You okay, Duke?” 

Blood stains the bottom half of his face from where Joel slammed his fist into the boy’s nose just moments before, but he nods nonetheless. 

Now, they both stand on one side of you and he can see the resemblance clear as day the same way he would whenever Sarah was by your side.

When you order him to hand over his bag, he does so without question before telling Ellie to do the same. 

She watches him with wide eyes, her hands still up in the air but gaping at her companion as if he had grown a second head. 

“Joel!” “Just do it, alright?”

He doesn’t miss the way you watch their interaction with narrowed eyes until she tosses her bag to you and you slowly lower your gun. 

“Now, you want to tell me what the fuck you think you’re doin’ at my home?” 

[hercarisntyours]

WOOO

ohmygodshe'ssoprettysheshinessomuch

[georgiacooked]

I will never forgive League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen for thinking that Jonathan Obsessed-With-His-Wife Harker would ever even conceive of divorcing Mina if they couldn't cure her vampirism.

THE NERVE.

THE VERY IDEA.

The fact that in the comic he goes through with it-

[tasteless-lemonade]

logan can adopt a horde of mutant teen girls but the moment he has a clone-daughter he puts her on murder-squads and he's written as a bad parent

[r0semultiverse]

How Homestuck Beyond Canon Candy Timeline has/will have parallels with Homestuck proper around and during the events of [S] Game Over

Jane Crocker heavily aligned/influenced by with Crocker Corp. Notice how her neck accessory looks very similar to the Crocker computer tiara. There's also the circuits surrounding the button, which are reminiscent of Crockertier Jane's visual mind control effect by The Condesce.

Jane also kind of looks like The Condesce with how she's silhouetted here.

The head of Crocker Corporation on a large Crocker space ship. A ship which I would like to point out looks eerily similar to the ship that The Condesce flies around in except the forks/sporks are facing the opposite direction and it's got black on it instead of mostly red.

Jake dying at the hands of Crocker influenced Jane and coming back to life parallels with this Jane coming close to killing Jake, but stopping right before death. Same green text too.

The cast of characters surrounding this time in the comic are also similar.

We also got the whole Crocker laser beam of death being hinted at which we've absolutely seen before.

I talked about this in one of my previous theories, Jake is getting a better grasp of his hope powers; so, I think we could see another hope explosion again in some capacity out of Jake's concern for Tavvy.

I could also totally see Jake being held hostage by one of the Crocker Clones A.K.A. the Brig Boys and Kanaya cutting them up with her chainsaw (hopefully avoiding Jake).

This is more of a little side detail, but Vriska is once again on the sidelines while this massive important fight takes place because she's trapped in her own personal Hell this time.

CHARACTER DEATH FLAGS - I don't know how to organize this post and there was a lot more potential evidence to this than I thought there was going into it.

Let me preface this with the fact that the existential split between Meat and Candy sometimes seems to try to course correct itself and much like certain peoples DNIs, it doesn't want any doubles. We see this with Dirk, Dave (he died even if he ascended to ultimate self afterwards), June/J/John, Terezi(seemingly), Meenah (her other self is in the black hole with Lord English so we can't necessarily confirm death but yknow), Aradia (is just Aradia), Gamzee, Calliope (that is a whole complex situation), and Rose (if her future sight is correct, but we'll get to that). Those are the only examples I can think of at this time, but it's absolutely a repeating pattern of the universe sort of course-correcting to have only one of each of our main characters exist at a time. This, at least in the cases of Dirk, Dave, & Rose seems to be related to the ascension to ultimate self, but we can't really say if that's why the other characters only get one existence at this time.

Karkat has has at least 2 deaths from around this time, one involving Crockertier Jane as well which could be a sign of things to come.

Rose's death flag is that she has literally foreseen her death in her future sight. She is thinking about Kanaya and Roxy in the same thought process while seeing her own death, feeling full of regret (even though she's trying to repress her own feelings) about her relationship to Roxy and Kanaya. Very similar to her being regretful as she was dying in Roxy's arms. I'm also guessing the bullet that hits her will be from Jake's gun, just throwing that out as a possibility.

ROSE: What... ROSE: Happened to me? ROXY: the witch got u ROXY: with her fork ROXY: but youre gonna be ok ROSE: Oh. ROSE: That's nice. ROSE: *Cough.* ROXY: maybe you uh ROXY: shouldnt try to talk now ROSE: You saved me, didn't you? ROXY: ... ROSE: Thanks. ROSE: But, ROSE: She's gone, isn't she. ROSE: For good, I mean. ROXY: ? ROSE: I saw her die. ROSE: And. ROSE: It's a shame how... ROSE: *Cough.* ROSE: A shame that I never even... ROSE: Got to tell her... ROSE: I loved her. ROXY: who?

ROSE: Kanaya. ROSE: But... ROSE: You too, mom.

Kanaya also has a death flag here in getting hit by The Condesce's laser beam of death, but it's more of a maybe given that we see Rose's future vision of Kanaya holding her body in her arms. Keep in mind though we also had this bit of dialogue about the reliability of future sight right before we saw that vision.

JADE: dont forget im more than a little versed in future sight myself ok JADE: i dont care how credible it seems, you cant depend on that information!

Jake and Jane are also on the chopping block potentially, but I can't think of a way at this time, unless Kanaya mistakes Jake for one of the clones amidst her rage and ends up cutting through him along with the Crocker clones. The one pictured below was done by Aranea who is out of the story. Maybe Meenah's trident hits Jake somehow or something, I don't know. We also have meat Jake and Jane who are doing more okay.

On top of the parallels to the doomed timeline that was [S] Game Over, we also had Vriska say that this reality was fake and didn't matter. I'm paraphrasing and I don't know if we'll get a doomed timeline situation yet with the 4 kids still in it, but I just thought the amount of parallels was interesting & worth pointing out.

I also wanted to get this out before the next update in case it's related to the flash animation and any of my predictions come true.

Alternatively I think the flash animation will be Ultimate Dirk kick starting his SBURB home brew session on Deltritus. He probably has all the tech and narrative powers to do it based on what we've seen, they just need a species they'll both be satisfied with as the players for the session.

[kmesons]

"many have died along the way. they say."

[milkweedman]

My cat loves wool maybe more than I do (her favorite thing to do with wool is rip it to shreds....her second favorite thing is to lay on it as though brooding wooly eggs, and refuse to move), but I didn't think she'd care about the linen blanket at all.

She seems to like it a lot though. I don't know if its because it smells a lot like me (or so I imagine, as I did spin this yarn and knit it up) or because she also has an appreciation for high quality natural fibers...hard to say.

[zishuge]

Lost You Forever 长相思 (2023) | Ep. 3

[cautionszz]

so many nepetas

[nihilismtrcit]

did nora clean or unpack anything today? no. did she write? also no. she did have beer for breakfast, though