#she doesnt like when my dad gets involved with our house.

[labradorite-princess]

I bitched so much I got what I wanted!

[kylejsugarman]

syd you are destroying me over here. what the fuck. what would “down” look like in au squared? would jesse’s parents take baby when they kicked him out, or would he just be left to navigate his. Unstable housing situation with an infant daughter and no support? im like i dont even know which one i would prefer you to say… down in au squared universe just Does Not feel good thank you for bringing it to our attention :-(

(frolics around cutely while i make everything worse for everyone) "down" never feels good ever tbh, between walt hitting his ableism victory royale and jesse getting his shit absolutely rocked by fate, its a miracle any of us survive that episode. au squared jesse of course fights his parents tooth and nail about kicking him out since ginny left him the house, but as soon as his mom says that they'll be taking baby too since he's not responsible enough, he backs down and is like "fine take the house, take whatever u want, but baby's coming with me". he obviously doesnt want to be homeless, but being homeless and not having baby is more than he can bear. she tries to reason with him, then threatens to get the law involved (i imagine saul helps jesse secure full custody of baby in addition to helping him buy his parents' house in season 3 :) besties), but jesse doesnt budge and takes off with her and their essentials, only for his ride to get stolen while he's in the drug store buying formula. they'd probably end up spending the night in the impounded rv (no blue tho. if i can spare my guy one suffering, it'll be the blue) with him genuinely not knowing if its Worth It anymore because hes literally laying in a mobile meth lab next to his crying baby who's too upset for her nighttime feeding, unable to provide for her but also unable to let her go. it feels so awful and selfish: she deserves better but he doesnt trust anyone to give her that. he breaks the rv out of the impound the next day the second clovis threatens them and drives straight to walt's place to get his money, riled up from walt ignoring his calls and clovis fucking threatening him in front of his infant daughter. "down" of course is a parade of walt being a dickhead because skyler has totally stopped buying his shit, so when jesse pulls up in person to beg for the money, walt snaps at him and tells him that jesse wouldn't even be in this situation if he were more responsible and that a real father would have found a way to provide for his child, which is not only vile but the fucking Wrong Thing to say to jesse after the last 24 hours. this is what provokes their fist fight and walt finally hands over the money, then tries to make some "look. we're both in this for family. we have to work together" comment to amend things as if he wasnt just yelling at his own son for using the car pedals wrong. having the money and getting out some of his rage and misery by pounding walt makes jesse feel better, but more than that, it gives him this adrenaline rush in terms of being a dad. sure it was a fucking nightmare, but he did all of that for his baby and he won. he fought to provide for her and he did. he didn't give in and just hand her over to his parents like she was some stranger that just happened to live in his house: he kept baby, he protected her through a disaster, and now he's never going to let her go. as he gets them a motel room for temporary housing with his cash and goes buck wild in the infant section at walmart and ends the day watching a happy, fed, clean baby play with her new stacking rings, jesse thinks about what walt said and feels a bitter kind of pride. "a real father would've found a way to provide for his child." well he did. he's baby's father and he's going to provide for her.

[judelawssmile]

Dream Journal

Two dreams:

My first dream, There was a group of guys and one of them with long black hair didnt want to be part of the group anymore. The groups activities was that they find prey and then chase after it. So he was kicked out of the friend group, when he gets into his car, im in the back with another version of himself being in the passengers seat. I sit there and hold both of their hands (assuming im dating him) and i tell him that its silly to kick him out especially with his sickness. As he drives and im holding his hand, all of a sudden the radio turns on talking about how whoever wins, gets 60% of the US. How do you win? You have to kill the most people. Sorta like Purge but not really. Worried, my lover pulls over and makes a plan that involves going to a connivence store and getting food. I state thats stupid cause it will be populated so i say we should go to the middle of no where. Then i wake up.

Second dream:

Somehow i land up in a mansion where a family of vampires reside where its also a place where vampires go to school. Now this story introduces me to a family where there is a dad who is making sure his two sons have their fangs on. Like make sure they are out because, as he states, they are a show of power. The eldest son hates his fangs but he doesnt complain. In the mansion, there are two pianos facing each other, one has certain keys that are pressed in and the Eldest vampire makes a confused comment about why that is.

In comes me and my crew. We are oblivious we just walked into a den of vampires. I don’t remember why we walked in but anyways. I saw the piano with the keys and played a melody. The eldest son gets intrigued of how i knew exactly which keys were broken. A bit of dream transition and me and the eldest son met. I have fangs now for some reason, I’m still human, and we play a melody together. One thats always been stuck in our heads.

Fast forward, humans now go to this school and im surprised there are extra dorms. The dorms, though, are made for vampires. There are two bunks to each dorm. The bottom bank, people can sleep peaceful but the top bunk houses two people with one always sleeping on a pillow and another annoyed. When we go to my dorm, i apparently need to go to the bathroom a lot. At some point, i check. Im pregnant (i think. Wasn’t explicitly said).

Humans come to me later stating they hate being oppressed and preyed upon by these vampires (there is also a scene where these vampires swarm two humans in a parking lot. They didn’t bite them but like i had to shove them away) so we went on a riot where the humans scaled this section of the school and kept reciting something. I don’t remember ifs its rules or a book. All i know is the principal came and asked one of the girls who started this and she said “whats it to you old man” and my dream ended.

First dream lasted whatever was my sleep duration i think 6-7 hours and then my second dream lasted 2. There was also a dream about mars being right in front of earth and i had the sickest picture. I felt literal anxiety.

[3style3]

being creative on the internet as an outlet is a topic that i am passionate about & i have so much to say.. so i'll put it here.. keep reading if you want to, but its just a history of me and my connection to the internet as a whole, may crosspost this later lol ヾ(￣▽￣) \

ever since i was a little girl, i used the internet to express myself.. dress up games to tumblr, all of it, was used as an outlet. my earliest memory was playing dressup doll games on the computer & watching clips of lucky star in 240p quality while listening to vocaloid in my living room as a small small child, of course, my mom was cooking dinner during all of this, so i can smell dinner when i think of that memory.. germany, 8 pm, shes making banana pudding & tuna sandwiches for me and her while my dad is working.. its such a sweet thing to think of now that i come to think about it..♪(´▽｀) way before i discovered the bitterness of the world, the world to me was just schnuffel bunny & vocaloid..

i never had many friends growing up. i had maybe three actual friends IRL, i was severely bullied before going on to become homeschooled from third grade all the way up to highschool, which i went on to do online schooling for that aswell because quite frankly, i was terrified of leaving my house due to my increasing social anxiety along with quarantine happening about ~2 years into my school life. anyways, thats enough backstory, back to my main point.

anywho, i've been expressing myself online for a LONG time as you can tell, i first began uploading my animations and artwork to youtube in 2016..? and i went on to upload my music to soundcloud in 2018. i made a lot of online friends, and even had a partner who i met online which lasted around 4 years. which doesnt sound impressive until i tell you, we began dating in MIDDLE SCHOOL! we dated all the way until.. i was almost 16? lol..

the internet was my refuge and escape from various traumas that had happened to me over the course of the past few years, traumas i was too scared to go to therapy or even open up for, so i'd express my pain on anonymous accounts and abandon them later on. i have countless deviantart accounts that i used purely for vent art and nothing else, that i would later abandon once i realized people could probably tell it was me.

darkness aside, i have many good memories involving uploading my work online aswell, from my various soundcloud aliases to my various artist aliases, one of which would become extremely successful due to my original characters when i was 14, i later abandoned this alias for safety reasons that i won't get into here.. along with all of the fanfiction i read and wrote when i was 12.. so.. much.. fanfiction.. specifically bandom fanfiction, do you all remember bandom?? bandom was a nice time on the internet, we were all just having so much fun on those "___ is ____'s song" and "bandomconfessions" accounts.. no fear of judgement or anything, we could just write stories where we dated our favorite band member and others thought it was the coolest thing to ever grace this planet..

i feel like, without the internet i wouldnt be who i am today, okay, i will admit, i went through some edgy phases to try to fit in with the cishet white kids online since.. being me online was hard! i had to participate in edginess or else run the risk of being called heinous.. heinous things. i was a huge leafyishere fan (now that i think about it.. ew!) and frequented boards of 4chan that i'd never frequent now that i'm older and you know.. have a soul that isnt as dark as the void?

i feel like. . . . if i didnt have the internet at the age i did, i wouldnt had discovered stuff that was lifechanging to me, for example GTBSG was just purely by chance, 10 year old me poking around on soundcloud, youtube, tumblr and twitter, just looking for something, anything new to stimulate my little senses.. and i found it! that group literally and figuratively changed my life in the best sense possible. i feel like i found my calling through their music.

i think that.. no matter how bad and judgemental the internet gets, it'll always be important to me, like yeah, i hate how social media operates nowadays, and all the microtrends that results in so much waste and landfills getting bigger, but if you focus on yourself, delete tiktok, stop doomscrolling, the internet is fun, once you go back to putting in the effort to find new websites, to read peoples personal pages and shrines.. the internet feels a lot more alive again. the internet was taken over by corporations but theres people trying to take it back, even if its a vocal minority, we're still here, and those people who put in the effort mean more to me than they'll ever know.. o(*￣▽￣*)o

i love you internet, even if you suck sometimes.

[insideoreoshack]

5.02.2023

i wake up to the sound of stomping, of course its 8am and carriema is already in a bad mood over food. her food is being delivered to the wrong place so shes yelling and stomping and goes to get it, i stay downstairs. i stay downstairs until 11am and when i go up there and im peacefully with my dad making some toast he tells me shes getting ready to go to the gym, she comes out and says hi to me all normal and tells me she used my supplements without my permission, not a big deal i reacted a little wrong at first but then i was like “next time just ask me before you use it” she is the one who says “no one ever asked me before they use my stuff!” and i reply “what did i use without asking? what do i need to ask to use?” and i know shes hinting at the fact that she buys things for the house and it gets used without people asking her; she goes in her and she continues talking to herself and im saying in the kitchen “of course it has to be a thing bc she was already mad for the day stomping around with her fat feet since morning” and then she starts trying to press me like girl i do not give a fuck about your attitude. she keeps trying to press me after i already said i dont care about supplements and its whatever and shes saying she doesnt wanna use it anymore like ofcourse you dont i wasnt even making a big deal out it until she literally starts calling me crazy and saying its whatever but i know its an anger response from how she was antagonizing me that i threw the supplements containers at her door and one of them opened and then she opens the door only to say “ LOOK AT THE MESS SHE MADE” cue dad walking in to ask what happened and she starts calling me crazy again and saying she doesn’t know and she didnt say anything which is a lie and she gas lit me. i go into her room ans tell her exactly what she said on how we got here and i was throwing her stuff around too and im not sorry for that i know its wrong but in all fairness im not angry or upset about this situation im upset its happening AGAIN after promises of change and doing better then the same bullshit happening for her to gaslight me in front of our dad is insane and i refuse to go upstairs with her there i rather starve and suffer. like its just convenient after she treated me so nice yesterday and then boom the switch up is crazy today. it just hurts to keep believing her and that she will change. and then if i dont speak to her im wrong and she’ll just use her depression as a weapon against me to trigger me further to tey and be empathetic like i cant be your friend youre evil. i dont even think she likes me and i cant think that her prayers for me are pure. its so unfair everything was falling into place for me and she cant allow anything good to happen for me. its like shes the root of my trust issues all shes done is lie to me and make me feel crazy. the only reason why i ended up yelling is because of the fact its a repeat and she hasnt changed i am tired of the behavior and biting my tongue it isnt fair. and she yelled at daddy why is he getting involved? to look dumbfounded when im telling you exactly what you just said to me is insanity. like youre straight up gaslighting me and manipulating the situation and she will continue to do so but i refuse to speak to her at all now. i am done. she is cut off i mean it. if i have to be the bad guy for my own sanity then fine i will be.

[inner-community]

also, idk. i told her last week i think a lot of parts are getting closer. so for instance with the Adult Us, i think it's becoming pretty hard to tell when we are switching? at least for me. i feel like there are hints that something has changed (like bandit will be more irritable when interrupted, jb spouts off intellectual thoughts and is more coherent than the rest but also is compulsively smoking weed, (part formerly known as andie but doesnt like it now because its our Name to people) is very very Polite and reserved...) but i don't think between them there is as much amnesia and it's like... idk maybe more of like a gradient shift of consciousness than flipping a switch. which is good i think!! i do have a hard time telling though if that is really like... an integration step or if i am just so busy i'm not noticing things/keeping myself in this adult mode more often. but i also notice the smalls are getting closer to the adults. (adults using more of the verbage that the smalls do, which helps us ask for things or express needs, and smalls being more involved in Big tasks)

soooooooo idk!!! it's really weird to like. notice this kind of healing i guess?? and i KNOW what a large part of me feeling so good currently is just weather, because spring brings back like all of my vitality, but we had such a mild winter that i feel like it didn't have as bad an effect on me as usual this year i think. sooo idk.

and my problems are mainly just like, interpersonal with my family now. i think a lot of it comes down to not being able to handle when everyone else has unregulated emotions and acts as unpredictable as they usually do, because no one is really working on their issues in a helpful way. and it makes me angry sometimes because i have problems equal to theirs, but i have put in years and years of work into being a better and more stable person. and i have DID!!! (my family definitely all have parts to some extent but refuse to either believe that or work with them. my sister is convinced she can just like. evict one from her head and i keep telling her that is only going to make it harder to integrate later.)

and two things.. my sister acts JUST LIKE my mom. every little thing is a big deal. if someone stands in her way for a second, or she drops something, she starts yelling about how shes "GOING TO LOSE HER SHIT!!!" and if she hurts someone and they comment on it she starts threatening self harm. and then when we have said that that makes it so everyone coddles her she throws a fit about that too. she talks shit about me and my wife in earshot and is mad if we say something. she is unpredictable and makes my dad take care of her (food, weed, cigarettes, driving her places, driving her 2 hours up to her 35 year old boyfriends house.... (she is 21) and if he doesnt do all of these she goes up to her room to scream-sob at her friends.)

and my dad? is just unpredictable and immature and he can't deal with his problems or his kids' problems and he can't just tell them to be fucking adults! (he also financially supports my brother who doesn't even live with him... my brother who refuses to get a job even tho he is 24. and again, weed, cigarettes, fucking gifts for his online friends, he bought him $700 plane tickets last year...)

and then amidst all that. me and my wife pay him when he needs help and we don't ask him for money or to buy us things. and then he is out here telling us we aren't ready to move out. mf we weren't ready to move IN with you!!!!!!!!!!!!! we moved here dec 2019 and were going to near immediately move, but my sister lied that she would be saving money and moving with us, then covid hit, and now we are still here but thank fucking god we HAVE to move because my wife is going to a school 3 hrs away next spring. so he CAN'T do shit to keep us here.

but it's like... HE isn't ready for us to leave. because we are the only responsible adults. but we are desperate to go, our dog causes my sister to be even bitchier so we want to take him out of the situation, we fucking hate how no one will clean up after themselves, and we just want a QUIET AND CLEAN HOME. where people dont scream at us, our dog, the other animals, the fucking inanimate objects, and themselves ALL THE TIME.

[fellulahh]

Random relationship headcanons (all characters!) - F!MC

I’ve done HCs like these before but not for all of the characters - I thought I’d do an updated version with everybody☺️

Lucifer:

Lucifer effectively never refers to MC by her name ever again, he either calls her ‘my love’ or ‘my dear’

He sets Friday nights aside to take MC out for dinner no matter how much paperwork he has left at the end of the week

Lucifer always unconsciously makes MC a cup of coffee in the morning when he’s getting his

He’s not the sort to hold MC’s hand while at RAD, but when they walk together he does subtly place his hand on her lower back

Often their more intimate moments involve laying in front of the fireplace together, sipping glasses of wine as they discuss and joke over their day

Lucifer helps MC with her every goal and when she succeeds, he is always the first to congratulate her. After all, having MC as his partner is what he is most proud of

If he catches MC sassing one of the brothers, he’ll smirk and boast “That’s my girl.”

Sometimes if he’s feeling stressed, he’ll ask MC if she’ll keep him company by sitting in his lap while he works

Mammon:

He’s an absolute sucker for MC calling him ‘babe’ and tells her off if she refers to him as anything else

Mammon’s 100% the little spoon (but don’t you dare ever tell anybody else that)

Expect random booty slaps throughout the day whenever Mammon is near

He loves showing off MC - if they’re at RAD together, he’ll always have his arm around her; nonchalantly planting kisses on her head every now and again when they’re talking to someone

Mammon tells his brothers off if he thinks they’re spending too much time with his human

“What are you doin’ over there?! Come give me some sugar!” He pouts at least 20 times a day

Mammon never grows tired of seeing MC’s body. Every time she undresses for bed, he gawps at her - practically drooling - just like it’s the first time he’s ever seen her

He often randomly buys MC cards and will write little notes inside with his scrawny handwriting simply stating how much he loves and appreciates her (he’s very soft when it comes to MC)

Levi:

If MC is doing something that Levi deems as ‘adorable’, he will immediately pull out his D.D.D and photograph/film her so if he’s ever feeling down he can go through his album and just gaze at her in awe

When he’s talking to Henry 2.0, he refers to MC as the fish’s ‘mum’ and him as ‘dad’ (but don’t tell MC that he ever said that)

He loves to show off that MC is his girlfriend whenever he’s gaming. If he gets insulted over his headset, he’ll reply with ‘yeah? Well I have a girlfriend who’s super hot! Beat that!’

Movie marathons are a must

Levi loves taking MC to the beach and having her straddle him while he wades through the sea (a bit like Baloo and Mowgli)

When he’s gaming, Levi lets MC style his hair. Considering how long it is, the human is very intrigued by what it’d look like pushed back

He gets incredibly excited if MC gets dressed up for something and practically implodes: “that’s my girlfriend!!”

Satan:

Satan is 100% husband material. MC needs help studying? He’s there. MC needs help with cooking dinner? He’s there. MC is feeling stressed and wants a massage? He’s already offered before she can ask.

He’s quite a tease too and will wait until the worst time to show this side of him. MC and Satan could be at the palace having a really formal dinner when he will start whispering in MC’s ear, telling her all of things he’d love to do to her later that evening

MC’s name is now ‘darling’

Satan’s favourite part of the day is when he and MC are sat in bed each night, both reading a book

He loves to hold MC in his arms with her head on his chest whenever they fall asleep

He always makes the bed while MC’s in the bathroom so she doesn’t have to

When he’s on dinner duty, Satan purposefully cooks his and MC’s dinner first so that they can have it alone with a candle lit

Asmo:

Refers to MC as ‘sweetie’

He’s always surprising MC with little gifts - if he’s out shopping and sees something he thinks she’d like he immediately buys it

He helps relieve MC of any stress - if he senses she’s had a bad day he’ll pull out the nail varnish and give her a full on pamper while she moans about whatever is bothering her

His Devilgram is full of candid photos of MC

You can bet he’s super affectionate toward MC - there will never be a day that goes past where she doesnt wake up with a kiss from him

They’re the fiercest couple at RAD - they’re effectively the Devildom equivalent to Posh and Becks

They also go on really cute dates, whether it be little mini breaks, a simple coffee date at a nearby cafe, a day at the beach or beauty salon etc

Beel:

Movie nights with everybody always consist of MC falling asleep in Beel’s lap and then him carrying her up to bed

He’s always calling MC ‘cute’ no matter what she’s doing. She could be having a full on go at him for eating her dinner and he’d just smile at her while thinking ‘could she be anymore adorable?’

Lots and lots of piggy backs

Beel loves hugging MC, he always does that thing where he wraps his jacket around her so he trap the human with his love

Always invites MC to his sports game and whenever she goes, he manages to perform that little bit better to usual

He always offers MC his jacket if she ever gets cold

Everyone dubs them the ‘cutest couple at RAD’ because they’re always holding hands and have the biggest smiles on their faces whenever they’re together

Often they spend their evenings in the kitchen cooking/baking which results in a food fight and eventually sex on the kitchen counter

MC always wears Beel’s top to bed and it makes him so happy to see her in it

Belphie:

He gives MC all of the comfy pillows in their bed - after all he doesn’t need them anymore because his favourite thing to fall asleep on is his human

He’s always coming to MC’s defence. If a lesser demon ever does so much as scowl at her, he immediately puts himself between the two. Nobody is ever going to hurt his human

Belphie wants to learn everything about MC including the things she likes. And if that means he has to sit through hours and hours of a TV show to do that then he’ll commit to it!

He’s always genuinely interested in how MC’s day went and whenever they reunite at the house, he always asks how she is and will listen for however long to what she has to say

He hides food in the fridge for MC “I bought this cake earlier and have hidden it from Beel so that you could have the first slice”

Belphie always wants cuddles from MC - he has to have his head on her chest

He’s also not ashamed of how much he likes to snuggle his human, even if his brothers do tease him for it

Diavolo:

Diavolo is always going above and beyond for MC and acts like she’s already his Queen

He loves taking her on little walks around the castle grounds; telling her all about his ancestors

If Diavolo has to get up early for whatever reason and leave the palace, he’ll always leave a single rose on the bedside table next to MC so she doesn’t wake up feeling forgotten about

He puts MC before his duty - if any nobles ever dare speak ill of his relationship, he immediately dismisses them from their role

Always compliments MC, expressing how ‘positively radiant’ she looks with a huge grin on his face

He loves making MC wear his crown and sit on his throne, in fact he finds it quite the turn on seeing her in a position of power (that’s not the only position he likes seeing her in)

His favourite part of the day is when he gets to return home and see MC in her element doing whatever (studying, drawing etc) looking like the absolute beauty she is

Diavolo always accidentally lets it slip that he wants to have a future with MC - they’d just be talking about something random and then he’d come out with “well I like to think that when our children grow up...” before quickly blushing, realising what he’d said

Barbatos:

He invites MC to the castle a lot to keep him company when he’s serving Diavolo

He’s always surprising MC and leaving her feeling flustered - he could have a completely serious look on his face while he’s doing something for Diavolo but will then turn and whisper to MC “perhaps when I finish this paperwork, I can do you on this desk too” before walking away

Barbatos is always showing off to MC by taking her to different realms and dimensions. Having dinner at a fancy restaurant is too mainstream for him - you want to see France during the Renaissance? Sure, he’ll take you there!

He takes good care of MC and will often sense something is off with her before she even knows. This demon has a different tea for everything

Barbatos loves cooking all of these elaborate dishes only for MC to try and you can bet he’s already memorised all of her favourite meals from the human realm and has perfected them

In fact, some of the very rare moments where he grins is when he and MC are baking together

Even if he’s the one who’s had an incredibly long day, he’ll still run a relaxing bath for MC with candles and salts

Simeon:

Even if MC wakes up and looks like she’s been dragged through a bush backwards, Simeon never fails to compliment her surreal beauty

He calls MC ‘sweetheart’ all the time

Simeon always gets up early so that he can make MC breakfast in bed as it’s the most important meal of the day!

They always bath together

He and MC often go for walks in the park and will bring Luke along if he’s feeling lonely and wants to spend time with his parents

Simeon is incredibly intimate and passionate in their relationship. There’s no such thing as a ‘casual’ kiss with this angel - he never fails to caress MC’s cheek and gaze into her eyes before laying one on her

He always offers to carry MC’s bags while they’re walking through RAD and will effectively treat her like a goddess - opening every door for her, pulling out her chair etc

Simeon’s always gushing to Lucifer about his relationship with MC

Solomon:

MC and Solomon are such a chaotic couple

To show his love for her, he will quote vines (*insert ‘I love you bitch, I ain’t ever gonna stop loving you, bitch’ vine here*)

He is not afraid to show off his love for MC. She could be walking through the corridor at RAD and when he spots her, Solomon will shout ‘DAYUM MY GIRL IS FINE’

Solomon is always making MC laugh. He’s not one for being traditional when it comes to compliments - he’d definitely hit her up with “I would drag my balls through lava just to hear you fart down a walkie talkie”

He’s quite a show off too - the demons are all jealous that MC loves him and not them so he always gushes about his human

If he ever takes an unflattering photo of MC, he immediately turns her into a meme much to his amusement

Although he jokes a lot and isn’t always serious, when they’re alone together, Solomon is incredibly loving and would easily be happy to just sit there and stare at MC in silence for ten minutes so that he can take a moment to appreciate how lucky he is

[harrywritingsbyme]

A Cute Tummy

Based Off Of This Ask

A/N: This concept is too cute!!! And I really wanted to write some fluffy fluff for you guys🥰✨! ! haven’t written some through and through, completely soft, and innocent fluff in a hot lil minuet...so here ya go! I hope it doesnt suck...Enjoy🙃

When it came to pregnancy pounds, you weren’t the only one the conversation applied to. Harry had managed to put on a bit of baby weight as well.

In the beginning of your pregnancy, Harry’d tried his best to keep you both on a healthy diet that had little space for junk and fast food. He was determined to always put his best foot forward when it came to keeping you and the baby healthy. And he was able to successfully keep his little family on a clean and healthy diet for the first four months of your baby journey. But once the five month mark of your pregnancy hit, all of that was completely thrown out the window. Your already haywire hormones mixed with your now haywire cravings was something that Harry couldn’t handle. He was still able to get you to eat a healthy salad and some fruits and vegetables, but there was a bit of a battle involved.

Whenever the thing you were craving the most wasn’t in the house, you’d get so sad. So sad to the point of you suddenly bursting into tears at times. This prompted Harry to stock up on those items so that you’d be happy, even if they weren’t exactly the healthiest things in the world. He would even go as far as to get up in the middle of the night when you softly woke him up to go out and get the pizza or the burger and fries you wanted. He’d pick himself up out of the warm bed that he was once cuddling with you in, get himself dressed, and take a little drive to the shops to pick up some food for you. And when he placed the order, he’d even throw in something for himself. Harry quickly realized that whenever he brought you something to eat, he had to eat as well. Whenever he didn’t get something for himself, you’d start to feel really bad for making him get out of bed just to get you something you wanted. You also felt bad because you were also making Harry break his own healthy food rule to satisfy your cravings.

And Harry didn’t like that at all.

Even though he wasn’t a big fan of getting out of his very comfy bed in the middle of the night, he’d never pass up on doing it for you. Harry’s inability to say no to you wasn’t just because he didn’t like it when you were sad or seeing you cry. He also went out of his way to make you happy because you were doing so much for him. You were carrying his child. So Harry felt that the least he could do was get up out of bed and get you what you wanted or let you indulge a bit in your unhealthy foods.

Now Harry’s baby weight gain wasn’t just due to the pattern of eating whenever you ate. It was also due to Harry’s presence, or lack thereof, at the gym. And it was only two floors away. Normally, he’d get up early to head down to his home gym to have his regular morning work out. But as you progressed through your pregnancy, you’d been enjoying and yearning for more and more cuddles. You’d cling onto him in the mornings and snuggle up to him even more as stirred when he woke up and began to mentally prepare to work out. You’d be so warm and adorable that Harry couldn’t just rip himself from your arms to go and workout. So he’d forgo his morning routine to spend more time with you. And to be completely honest, Harry wouldn’t have it any other way. If getting out of bed at night to get food was a struggle, getting up in the morning to work out would be even worse.

So with your cravings and Harry’s decision to take a pause in his workouts, it was pretty inevitable for him to put on a couple pounds. But for Harry, it was one thing to know that and another to see it. It’d been two months since your cravings went crazy and about 3 months since his last workout. In that time, Harry’d gained a bit of weight and a pretty big insecurity about it.

While you were in the nursery folding up some of the onesies your parents had bought for bubs, Harry decided to hop in the shower. After standing under the hot water for a good thirty minutes, Harry turns the water off and wraps his towel around his waist before heading back into the bedroom to get dressed. As he makes his way over to grab some clothes from the dresser, he looks over into the mirror and sees it. He looks at his reflection to see his once toned stomach poking out. He hadn’t fully entered the status of dad yet and he already had the body for it. Harry didn’t mind being soft and squishy, but he’d never been this soft and squishy. He’d gotten so caught up in examining the little pooch that was clinging to his lower abdomen that he didn’t even notice you waddle your way into the room.

“What’s wrong baby?” You ask concernedly. You had to get down to why your husband had such a downcast look on his face.

“M’fine sweets.” Harry whispers, turning his head from the mirror to send you a soft smile.

“No your not. And it’s not nice to not share with your pregnant wife.” You reply matter of factly, turning your head slightly to the side to emphasize your point.

“S’just-“ Harry begins, pausing for a moment to gather his thoughts. “It’s just that my body’s not the same as it was a couple months ago.” Harry explains sorrowfully.

“Ditto.” You chuckle, motioning down to your now seven month old belly that was resting in your lap.

“Exactly! And I don’t wanna talk about it because your situation is far more important than mine.” Harry replies, attempting to put an end to the conversation and dismiss his feelings. But you weren’t having it.

“Harry...” You begin, trying to lift yourself up from your position on the edge of the bed to go over to him.

“Don’t get up!” Harry coos urgently, quickly shuffling over to stop you.

“Harry, no problem of yours is insignificant. Yes I’m pregnant. But that doesn’t mean that you’re any less important. I may be carrying this baby, but you helped make it. And with that being said, you have a right to voice your feelings. So tell me what’s going on.” You reason with him. As you did this, you wrapped your slightly swollen hands around his. You really wanted him to know that his feelings mattered.

“I guess m’just a bit insecure about my tummy.” Harry whispers, continuing to hold onto your hands in front of you.

“Well I love your tummy and I think it’s cute.” You say pointedly up to him with a wide smile.

“Really?!” Harry asks surprisedly.

“Yes! I think it’s very cute and you do not need to doubt that at all.” You continue, making sure that Harry fully understands your stance on this tummy. “And once our bubby finally comes, all three of us will match. We’ll all have cute little tummies.” Y/n says confidently.

“Bubs’ tummy will be cuter though.” Harry pouts.

“Of course, baby tummies are the cutest things in the world! But yours will still be cute.” You whisper, making sure to send Harry a little wink.

“Thanks baby.” Harry hums, leaning down to press a quick kiss to your lips before making his way over to the dresser to finally get dressed.

“Do you like daddy’s tummy bubby?” You whisper to your stomach, smoothing your hand down and around your bump to feel any movement from the baby. “Well she didn’t kick, but she did move around a little bit. So that could be yes!” You announce excitedly, causing Harry to let out a loud laugh, which further resulted in bubs moving around even more. With her, Harry definitely had nothing to worry about when it came to his tummy.

Harry’s baby weight gain wasn’t the most ideal situation for him. But if gaining his own amount of baby weight meant that you were able to be happy and just glide through your pregnancy the way you deserved, he’d gain all the weight in the world. Plus matching with you and bubs doesn’t sound that bad either.

Masterlist

[figula]

today, more random thought dump than anything interesting -

* a bit jealous of my sister’s r/ship with our dad - i swear they’re so much closer than i ever have been w/ him and im not sure what i did wrong. (i actually dont think i did anything WRONG - it’s just circs) i think bc i was pretty passive and pliable on the whole in my teens (i mean - i had my moments ofc) my mum didn’t really need to get my dad involved in the childrearing aspect?? like i just kind of was in line w/ whatever my mum told me to do + when i had my major nervy b when i was 18 i just stayed up in my room for months on end, didn’t really cause any trouble lmfao. but my sister’s descent into madness was a lot more fireworksy and she and our mum have had such an openly contentious r/ship throughout her teens that my mum had to get my dad to do a lot of the shit that she’d done w/ me if that makes sense. so they really bonded during this time + i’m GLAD ofc but i also feel a bit like i missed out on a rly good r/ship with my dad. which is kind of a shame bc he’s a really nice man, one of the few dads i know who is like, solidly a decent guy. doesnt help that when i was young + growing up my dad was out of the house working from like 6am-6pm and he’s been much more available for my sister (i’m 8y older than her) so like i literally barely saw him as a kid lol. also for my toddler years he was abroad working in kuwait so ... :|

* im so desperate for my new alpaca to be delivered but it wont be today :((( ahhhh i hate the 4 day weekend ruining my plans

* slept for AGES last night and finally feel physically recovered from my sister’s visit lmao like it was a really nice week, just absolutely EXHAUSTING

[bitchesgetriches]

Auntie bitches, I come seeking advice but not the financial kind. My best friend moved out of her parents house a while back and in with her brother at their (since passed) grandparents house. She has a chronic illness and depression so I know keeping up with housework and chores is hard but,, it’s to the point where I’m wondering if I need to stage an intervention with her parents. I’m 95% sure her pets are being neglected. I visit her a lot and she never mentions her bearded dragon. When I checked on him the other day his tank was filthy, his heat lamps completely off and cold to the touch. He had some weird discolorations on his skin that I’ve never seen before and don’t appear in previous pictures of him. I asked her when she last checked on him and she kept dodging the question and would not give me an answer and couldn’t be bothered to actually come inside the room and look at him or check on these dark black spots. She has a kitten that she adopted a bit after thanksgiving that lives cooped up in her super messy bedroom and is only let out a few times a day (The kitten (Callie) and brothers dog have never been properly introduced or socialized to each other so it’s just stressful and scary for Callie.) The bathroom connected to the bedroom has liter scattered absolutely everywhere and the rug reeks of piss. Her box is always way too dirty for such a small cat (speaking as a cat owner myself). Her tiny (read Concerning-ly small) 3lbs cat has more poop and pee built up in the litter box than my 9lb tabby produces nearly a week. So it obviously hasn’t been done in a while and is absolutely never done when I visit her multiple times a month. The stinky rug has been like that for at least a month. I can’t count on her older brother for help bc he honestly doesnt take care of his dog properly either since he has depression as well and is severely overweight, basically obese. I’m scared for her pets, I’m genuinely worried that I’m going to find her bearded dragon dead one day. She loves her pets and would have never let any of this happen before she moved out, but now I just feel like she’s lost all standards of living for herself and her animals. She genuinely believes that having pets is one of the very few things keeping her from ending it all but I’m worried that she’s just not in the right mindset to have her own pets and hasn’t been for a while. She and her mom have a messy, mostly bad relationship. On the flip side she and her dad have a good relationship, so I’m wondering if I should go ahead and call him and ask if we can talk in person. I just feel hopeless, I grew up with her and through her depression diagnosis at a pretty young age so I’m used to depression rooms and perpetually messiness but it’s gotten bad. The rest of the house is messy but not that bad, the dishes are forever piled up in the sink, her brother and I have expressed concern that she literally never leaves the house and constantly has every single blind/curtain pulled in the house and spends hours, if not basically the entire day on the computer gaming.

I almost didn’t answer this, since it’s really not our area of expertise. But mental health and pets are, like, two of our main interests outside of personal finance so I couldn’t resist.

Your friend needs immediate help. If she’s struggling with depression (and possibly a gaming addiction, or relying too heavily on gaming as her only outlet), then she probably can’t see that her neglect of her pets is abusive. She needs to consult with a mental health professional, and she needs the support of people in a position to help her.

Which leads me to: that person might not be you. In fact, the best help you can provide her with is getting her parents involved. The only other thing I’d do is to sweep in and do what you can to set the animals up for better health. Because one person’s mental illness should not put another living creature in pain and distress. But again: it is OK if you aren’t the person to give her all the help she needs. You’re her friend, not her parent or her doctor.

This is probably controversial, but... I have a big problem with those who allow their mental health to negatively affect children or pets in their care. I know this isn’t necessarily fair, but it stems from my friend’s daughter being neglected by my friend’s ex-husband, who blamed the neglect and emotional abuse on his bipolar disorder. As far as I’m concerned, the best thing he could have done for his daughter at the time was to relinquish custody, but instead he held onto custody until the state had to get involved. It fucking sucked. And if I’m being honest, my bias in this scenario has me saying that your friend should have her pets temporarily removed from her care. 

Ok, this was probably horrible unhelpful, so I’ll just end with a link to some of our mental health advice:

Ask the Bitches: "How Do I Protect My Own Mental Health While Still Helping Others?"

Our Master List of 100% Free Mental Health Self-Care Tactics 

[artreider]

Daughter is down for the night, let's see if internet will allow me to watch and live blog the next episode.

Travis is so hurt and that just hurts me. I'm glad we are getting his backstory with Michael.

Okay so if Michael died in 2016 and it was 2009 at the start of the episode, then they were together for at least six years. So travis has been a firefighter at least 11 years at this point in the series. So what station was he at, and how did he and Michael meet. Im just curious because theo calls his buddy michael probie and then doesnt say travis name. Travis tells him name and instead of calling probie as well making me believe he had been either a firefighter for a bit longer than Michael or he is from a different station, because surely if they were all at the same station he would call him by name or maybe travis is from a different shift at the station.

I love this episode but it still left me with questions.

Also so i didnt even make it five minutes in, thanks internet let's restart it.

Also are they all in the same academy class because it sounds like it.

I'm not okay with travic being not a dynamic duo at the start, i love their friendship.

Hey look the captain has returned lol, also this sushi conversation i have had with my coworker. Leftover sushibis just wrong, fight me on this. Im glad maya agrees. Also i agree with sulluvan its from the grocery store, i dont eat my sushi from anywhere but a restaurant thats gross, and making it day old is worse.

Of course travis agrees with the sushi talk, they are truly two peas in a pod. Im surprised vic didnt ask to stay at maya and carina's for a few days.

I like theo and jack this episode.

Vic looks tripped out by travis showing her his scars lmao. Travis and this scar analogy is fantastic and makes me giggle, so dramatic.

I still dont know how i feel about these two drug addicts.

First commercial and i just want to add that the sushi scene i love, the family feel is wonderful.

Michael and travis are so cute. Also how long was theo a captain before michael died?

Listening to libby you can tell how troubled travis is by the look on his face. Its like he's thinking what if something were to happen to Hughes and we weren't in a good place.

Im glad jack came to talk to theo. It's good for them both.

Emmett you cutie. Im glad he is speaking truths to travis.

This proposal is so cute, the double proposal makes me so happy.

Travis needs to become a dad, he so wanted that future with Michael.

Its so cute that theo was there for the proposal and his best friends. Who stood up for travis at the wedding and who married michael and travis? Im headcanoning theo marrying them.

I totally get travis's feelings about theo in light of Michael's death but with how involved he was with the two i wish travis had found some way to heal with his friend sooner.

Vic trying to discuss Emmett, oh i love you.

This scene by the trees is so tough.

I bet they had so much fun shooting this even if it was difficult material.

So travis is in a apartment instead of his house with michael, howd that happen.

The things they are saying to each other are so hard. Everyone grieves differently.

Okay how long was theo a firefighter before he became captain. They were possibly in the academy in 2009, he was training for lt in 2010 and in 2012 he was put up for captain. So it seems he was on the fast track like maya. Okay he was only at lt for 6 months with may he a bit longer than maya.

Though she definitely made better decisions as captain. Also i love that ripley put up for it and ripley is who told maya to become lt and that she'd be a good captain.

Theo's joke about dying in a fire is just wrong.

Theo did make a bad call like travis worried but his being green should be a reason to find forgiveness for him.

Im glad michael stood uo for his friend. Also travis asked if it was a good idea theo being michaels captain, not ours. That further leads me to believe that travis was at a different station. I really cant shake the thought that he was at station 19 by this point for the simple fact of capt hererra saying he hand picked all of them.

Its nice that travis is finally talking to vic about his anger and sadness over michael, his grief and apologizing for his comments about ripley.

Okay so based off the past episodes for the characters, gibson and miller have been at the station longer than andy and maya and it appears travis has been as well. So that just has me questioning how long hughes has been, did we get dates when we learned how she became a firefighter, i cant remember.

Who notified travis that Michael was gone? He wasn't on scene otherwise he'd already have seen theo.

Theo was so good to own up to his mistake to the higher ups and travis.

The house vs apartment thing bothers me about station 19. Like maya's apartment always felt like a house and then we see its an apartment. Travis lived in a house with Michael and now has an apartment filled with Michael's things. Then Jack had an apartment or something in season 3 and now lives with martha and co. Then vic is basically homelessx had an apartment then jumped from friends homes. I dunno why i bothers me so, i guess it just feels so inconsistent, i dunno if that makes sense.

Ugh the ruiz and Gibson scene here is so good for them once again and im glad it helped marcus. Im sad marcus wont be a part of jacks life anymore.

Theo why did you decide to talk to vic about ripley? Not that it was a bad talk just curious what sparked it.

Travis im so proud of you, this talk here is so important for your healing. Vic i love your joke. Yay my travic is healing.

Okay so hughes was probie in 2016 after michael died. Ugh i need to know more about travis time at station 19 before during or after whatever michael died. Also when did andy and maya graduate im blanking on the year.

Travic's first scene at the station together is so lovely.

Ugh travis's phone call is so rough.

So travis cant vacation very well either, no wonder he told maya to enjoy her trip with carina in sesson 3.

The station 19 actors are so phenomenal. Such a wonderfully acted episode.

So as im sure my followers and anyone else reading this has gathered, i decided to do this live blog as one whole thing since the anon was upset by my previous posts. If you hate this and think i should go back to the other way let me know or if i should take their suggestion and creatr my own tag let me know. Basically if you are interested in my live blog please let me know what you think.

The anon has been weighing on me leading me to almost not want to finish my live blog of the series.

[mycptsdrecovery]

TW for abuse, mental health crisis, unreality, mental hospital mention

hi im a 19 year old and still living with my parents. ive been trying to move out since august and i planned to move out by december. in late december i was not having much luck with housing and i started having memories of not so great things my parents did to me throughout the years play in my head. i rly have no idea how to explain this confusing clusterfuck of a situation in just a tumblr ask but basically i want to know if the things my parents did count as sexual abuse.

from a young age my parents didnt respect my boundaries. my parents often touched my butt (it sounds so stupid calling it that idk what else to put) in seemingly nonsexual or accidental ways, but they didnt stop as i grew older. i remember the first time that i realised i was being sexually abused (thats how i thought about it at the time, idk). i dont remember what my dad did specifically but i was 8 years old-ish, i started puberty around then because my body hates me. it was probably to do with my butt/waist/ things and my dad touching them. we were about to go in a shuttle to the airport, it was like 2am. i remember i stayed silent through whatever happened but at some point during or after i remember bursting into tears and like... thinking to myself that my dad is sexually abusing me (i dont remember where i learnt what that is) and my dad asking me what was wrong but i refused to talk because i was scared. moments like these where my dad touched me in a way that didnt feel normal and i burst into tears happened multiple times. ive felt very uncomfortable around my dad for most of my life at this point. hes the kind of dad who doesnt talk about anything hes thinking or feeling, doesnt talk much at all or have many friends. we have rarely had conversations past surface level talk thats appropriate for strangers or acquaintances so i have never known whats in his head and whenever ive tried to get him to talk with me about something serious he shuts down and leaves. hes very neglectful emotionally, though he used to sometimes fulfil his emotional duties as a parent when i was a very young child according to my mum but he stopped at some point. for a really long time ive been afraid that my dad was sexualising me in his head or sexually attracted to me. ive grown up having nightmares about my parents raping me.

here are some of the things i remember my parents doing. some memories are not easily accessable and some have not been processed as an adult.

TW

-both my parent regularly touched my butt in a variety of contexts. i never confronted my dad about it because i knew he wouldnt answer me. i have learned to only hug my parents in a specific way so that my arm is always under their arms so i can stop them from putting their hands too low.

-my dad used to put his hand on my waist and hips/lower back. he was basically doing the kind of casual touch that you would do with someone ur in a sexual relationship with. he doesnt anymore because i have stopped allowing him to spend much time with me.

-my parents, mostly my mum have touched my breasts very lightly and casually. it could be seen as accidental but my mum has never responded to my frequent requests to stop touching me like this.

-my mum showed me her vagina once as... sex ed? i have no idea if this is normal which is kinda how i feel about most of the ?sexually? themed things my parents have done.

-my mum has always commented on my body in ways that made me very uncomfortable, such as often commenting on how i would be sexually harassed because of the outfit im wearing, even the necklace im wearing.

-my mum gave me several moderately detailed accounts of sexual assaults that hve happened to her, like for instance when i was around 6-9? she used a story of a sexual assault that happened to her while in a pool to say that i be afraid in public pools. the amount of detail was very unnecessary.

-one time my mum was telling me about how boys pinch girls buttcheeks to tell them they think theyre 'sexy'. then she pinched my buttcheeks a bunch of times even though i didnt want her to. im sure she did this many times and i was literally like 5 years old or something.

-my mum talked to my sister while i was in earshot about... how she would be ok with it if i married my 1st cousin? and she named him specifically. it made me feel rly weird around him.

-again my dad has always just given me huge predator vibes and ive always been super afraid of him.

this list is definitely incomplete but i dont remember anything penetrative or to do with anyone touching my genitals.

i tried to tell someone about the "sexual abuse" twice when i was 13, both during mental ward stays about 9 or 10 months apart. the first time is completely blacked out from my memory and the second one... they told the police. my dad was questioned and nothing happened because i never wanted anyone except the nurse who i told to know and refused to tell anyone any details. i just wanted to get a weight off my shoulders. instead i got a 3 or so year long period of my mum emotionally abusing me to a degree she never had. i was almost completely convinced that i had never been sexually abused. i still dont know if its true or not. the specific term my mum used was that i "mis-interpreted" my parents actions as sexual abuse. i didnt push back, i was too terrified of her and i just dissociated to cope with those years. i was very very isolated from anyone except my mum. i wanted desperately to be a young child again and felt like one most of the time. before 6 years old was the only period where i felt like my parents actually liked me.

when i was around 15 i started sexually getting involved with older men online. i wasnt attracted to them, i didntdesire them, i just was so traumatised from... whatevrr u want to call the way my parents treated me but i didnt feel that i had the right to be. i felt like i needed to get some "real" trauma and i dont want to say what i did but im lucky that none of these men ended up meeting up with me irl at least. the fucked up thing is that though it did traumatise me, i kind of felt better because i wanted something i could feel justified in being upset about.

now im 19 and my brain is hitting me with all these memories. i havent felt safe with my parents for most of my life. theyre neglectful and emotionally abusive towards me. they abused all my other siblings physically quite a lot and two of them have moved to different countries so that they can not live in the same place they grew up in. 2 out of 3 of my siblings have completely cut ties with my parents for years now. when i was 11 i recoeved an email from my brother telling me about our parents not being safe people.

ive started to consider the possibility of the constant violation of my boundaries counting as sexual abuse. i have a lot of sexual trauma symptoms and i have for a very long time. i grew up afraid that my dad was going to rape me. i think i was abused by my mum into associating holding my parents accountable with the punishment she put me through after she found out i reported them. i just want to know if im allowed to be upset about this. im terrified that this is normal, because if its normal that means i was a gross freak as a kid who just "mis-interpreted" these actions to be sexual abuse. i need to make sense of my reality somehow. im so confused.

you absolutely have the right to be upset by this. what they did to you was not okay. an adult touching a child intentionally in inappropriate areas is molestation, even if they played it off as not a big deal. many of the things you mentioned also sound like grooming which is often a part of childhood sexual abuse. i’m so sorry these things happened to you. i hope you are safe and can find a way to not be around your parents.

[felismiscellaneous]

Casonverse Expo

ok so after you see this you Cannot save it. the whole thing about the casonverse is that its solely “oral” and memory based. i cannot write down “rules” to it or anything. this post Will be lost to time and youll just have to deal with that

ok so. we begin. our story. w/ an explanation on how ectobiology has been going on earth c. basically, every once in a while to increase genetic diversity, a babeh between two of the original founders is created randomly, and said founders get to decide if they want to adopt that babeh or not.

now its been a very very long time on earth c and all of these bitches are immortal. yep. every single one. even the non godtiers, they get an immortality boon for winning the game. you know whats also a boon? all of the players getting revived. yep. every single one. because this is my au and i can do what i want.

anyways as i was saying basically at some point a babeh between john and karkat is made and this time theyre like “yeah ok well adopt this one” SO. they be goin there. and the ONE TIME they decide this is the right time the baby is fuckin BROKE. the internal organs of trolls and humans dont mesh very well when the genes are combined in the ectomachine, and this baby is basically just dying very slowly. this baby isssss Casey! well, shes not named that by her parents, but well just call her Casey for now.

john and karkat do their fuckin best to keep this thing alive but her tiny baby body is completely dysfunctional. and doesnt last very long. This is Traumatizing for Everyone Involved. anyways!! a pretty long time after that we have Cason and Jones. they were spawned at the same time. Jones is rose and kanayas horrible ectospawn, and Cason happens to be another equally horrible spawn between john and karkat! they decide to adopt this one, and fortunately it lives. This was Their First Mistake.

but before we get into Cason, lets get into Jones. Jones is,,,, very socially awkward. in fact, she often comes off as creepy to everyone else. this makes her very clingy towards her mothers, who arent That terrible at parenting. theyve got quirks, but theyre good for her. Jones doesnt really have any friends, except this Totally Cool and Not at All Dangerous cult she gets dragged into! this is the second secret shes ever kept from her mothers. the first is that shes the one who keeps bringing snails into the house. Jones likes snails, but shes not good at taking care of them. she just keeps bringing them into the house and feeding them her snack. her snack is rat poison. snails like and digest rat poison safely. snails! she likes them.

ALSO APPARENTLY SHE CAN SEE GHOSTS???? yeah lets get into that. see, Casey becomes a Regular Ghost after she dies. not a dream ghost, just a plain ol ghost. and anyways, shes around the same age as everyone else if not a year older due to Ghost Rules now, and Cason is the only one that seems to be able to see her. and then theres Jones. Jones is absolutely stunning to Casey and yes she falls so hard in dokis. but Jones is trying to ignore the fact that she can see ghosts. it makes her feel like even more of an outcast. ooooo drama! anyways those two have their own background plot going on about fighting eldritch gods or something idk.

LETS GET BACK TO CASON. see. Cason. is The Worst. like, genuinely. ever since he was a kiddo, he was a completely spoiled brat from day one, and spent his childhood Looking Down on People for multiple reasons. for one, hes the son of TWO FUCKING FOUNDERS AND RAISED BY THEM, two he got away with EVERYTHING, and three i think its just in his nature. Cason prides himself in being knowledgeable and better than everyone else, but he is not like Other Egomaniacs((tm.))

Cason doesnt necessarily care about being liked, even if he WAS a great manipulator, or being the best at Everything. he couldnt care less about sports or popularity. all he wants, is Control. just like hes had since day one. This is Terrible for Everyone Involved.

but most terrible for anyone, is Tippie Piyjon. Tippie is terezi and nepetas ectospawn, which, really started it all. now, terezi and nepeta are not horrible people, or even necessarily horrible parents, but theyre just not suited for it. Tippie raised herself on romance novels and the like, especially after being sortve taken in as a goddaughter by karkat almost immediately after she was born. and, because of this, she got to meet Cason very early on. there was hardly ever a day where the two werent around eachother, whether they liked it or not. in school, at their own house, wherever. now, being around Cason of all people all the time, meant you knew exactly how he operated.

and well, Tippie figured that, maybe, if she was just good enough, she could change him. and Cason used that to his full advantage. the two became moirails, which was Fucked Up for Everyone Involved, and grew ever closer. now Cason, being Cason, was Extremely Emotionally Abusive to Tippie. she had to do what he asked, whatever it was, even if it wasnt morally right, she had to stay by his side, she couldnt cry in front of his parents, she had to get good grades so he wouldnt look bad, so many damn things she had to do. even if he never once laid a finger on her, her mental health was, slowly but surely, chiseled down.

every attempt at defying him was met with such coldness, or hed act more warm towards her, so surely she was doing something right and had to keep going. just had to be good enough. hell get better eventually. Cason earns the title of #1 Gaslighter Extraordinare. the only place she found any solace away from him was grubscouts, which she joined on her own terms when she was very young, and at the time was a camp counselor even! this lasted. for so many years.

Cason is nineteen whenever i depict him, and Tippie is seventeen, but very nearly eighteen. eventually, she cant take it anymore, and snaps at him. usually this doesnt last, and he would manage to calm her down eventually, but shes fucking Tired of it. he hasnt changed. not even a bit. well. Cason cant have that, now can he? the first time he lays a hand on her, he slaps her across the face. Big Mistake. though terrified, Tippie lashes out, and claws Casons left eye out, making a terribly deep gash that would leave him permanently blind in that eye whether or not he got treatment.

this scares the SHIT out of her, and Tippie runs off, for the first time, to her mothers. as she cries, she recounts how terrible everythings been and how she didnt mean it and shes sorry and- theres nothing to apologize for. its very clear, that they shouldve stepped in sooner, shouldve noticed something was wrong. meanwhile, Cason crawls home to his own dads, who are rightfully spooked seeing their son with a horrifically bloody face and a gouged eyeball. they only had a second to try and comfort him, before he snapped at them, showing a bit of his true nature to them for the first time, and also, terezi showing up behind him. after a thorough explanation which was mostly just a few stern, if a little tearful words, Casons parents are completely mortified. karkat quickly kicks him out in an act of raw emotion. no chance to grab clothes, or for john to interject, Cason is left outside, alone, and with absolutely no power left. what will he do?

theres also other characters but theyre like babies so they dont have much characterization and also arent very important to the story. but here they are ig:

owen, jade and daves child. hes like, 3. he likes sticks and playing in mud. hes 3 what more do you want from him

siyren, aradia and feferis kiddo. shes like, 6. she likes ballet, arts and crafts, and being snooty

damien, eridan and solluxs kid. hes 10, likes calling people slurs over xbox, and overcompensating since his parents waited so damn long to adopt him after his slimebirth

killer, who named himself, aradia and sollux kid. hes like 11 or something. he likes being edgy and has the same issue as damien. in fact, all but siyren have this issue

toga bitch, who i have currently yet to name, aradia and eridans kid. shes 12. she likes earth rome and chilling in public fountains. a burgundy whose violetkin

wemon wemon, who is also currently unnamed, feferi and eridans kid. hes 13, the oldest. he likes earth lemon demon and horror special effects

carrie, feferi and solluxs kid. shes like 11, likes dance dance revolution and earth 9s

rosie, calliope and roxys bab, whos a baby. jane is also her mom

ben, tippies far future carapacian bf, who likes boring shit like birdwatching and scrapbooking. malewife supreme. a very soft dude, and just wants to help his gf w/ her trauma and join her grubscout troop on earning badges. just a great, if boring guy

notkonyyl, just as unnamed, a notcanadian oliveblood who enjoys going to the gym, frequenting bars, being cool, flirty, and defending her moirail to the death

notkuprum, haha unnamed, is a human, and the moirail to notkonyyl. he likes things like being annoying, flirting with everyone taller than him ((most people)), the nintendo switch, and defending his moirail to the death

[rae-arts777]

I want to talk about my religious trauma

I just want to tell my story, I know mine is minor, I know there’s worst out there, but I’m hoping maybe mine cause reach out to anyone experiencing the same so they feel less alone

Let’s start way back

Edit: (sorry I should have put this earlier) TW: slight sexual assault, self harm, suicide mention

Growing up a christian adventist, I knew Friday night to Saturday was worship. No electronics or TV unless it was veggie tales, or a Bible cartoon, and church Saturday.

Of course I acted out a bit, and would get scolded for not staying still. My mother however wasn’t upset at me for ruining church, just upset I wasn’t behaving and granted don’t blame her cause I was a brat lol. I would get in more trouble if I went with my grandma. I was “disrespecting the lord in his house” and well...I mean it’s hard for a child to sit still for 8 hours wearing a dress and shoes that made me itchy and gave me blisters

Now church was fun in some sense. Got to see my friends, food after services, I loved being able to help in the kitchen and help the elders as well.

Good right?

Well...as a child, we think what we know if right. I thought the way we had church was common to everyone. When I started school, it was different for me. I asked “why do my friends go to church on Sunday?” My grandma told me “they just don’t know the proper way, it’s your duty to tell them”

I remember...being really horrible towards a kid who’s family was an atheist. We were still friends, but I will tell him “you’re trusting the devil”. My words never seem to hurt him since he laughed them off, but I never stopped...I look back and have so much guilt. So much guilt towards others too since I tried to tell them church was Saturday’s, and going on Sunday was wrong. I think about how horrible I was, cause my religion never taught me to be accepting to others beliefs, it taught me that it’s my duty to turn others to the right way. And that makes me upset. If my religion was the religion of “accepting everyone no matter what” then why is every one else’s religion the work of the devil? And why are baptism, also who was Christians, deem “evil” like Catholics in our religion.

Middle school. I started attending the church school. Hell

I didn’t like our new pastor, something about the way he said things just...didn’t stick. His kids were a nightmare. They torment everyone. Got teachers fired they didn’t like. And went crying to their parents if they didn’t get their way. No they were not toddlers. They were teens. One got in between my old best friend and I, and since then her and I were never the same.

Because I liked art and anime...I was the weird kid, so they constantly picked on me. Pastor kids telling me certain kids here didn’t deserve to be made by god. That god made a mistake. I told them to stop, but they would go “you just don’t know. It’s hard for us!!! We don’t mean what we say!” And looking and writing this now, that was the first gaslighting and toxic friendships I experience.

It made me more mad the pastor told the whole church that his kids were perfect children. And they set an example of how all the kids in the church could act. That pastor family was just horrible. Lies, manipulation, just rude. He would make side remarks about my mum’s blonde dye hair. He would say something to my mum if I wore pants or a leather jacket to church. Just the way he said things, made my mum feel like she was a horrible parent. They made side comments when my dad would finally show up.

“I’m sorry my dad wasn’t constantly gone, he’s was too busy fighting for our country.” Is what they would want us to say.

Church become a chore. Not a joy. And when we got a new pastor, one I started to connect with, we moved away and in with my grandma

Now highschool. This is where I started drifting away from religion. I love my grandma..I really do ...but she’s so extreme. The Bible this. The Bible that. I can’t have a normal conversation without her being up the Bible. Can’t watch a movie, show, or listen to music that’s not Christian without her bringing up the Bible or turning it into a Bible lesson. I hated going to church. I hated hearing “repent. The world is ending soon”

Hearing constant that our young generation is filled with the devil, feeling all the eyes of the elders on me as I’m trying to comfort someone’s child so they can enjoy church peacefully

Hearing anyone experiencing love towards the same gender is the devil’s working

That everything I like is filled with the devil

My grandma start forcing religion worst and worst down my throat. Saying I have to be prepare. I need to make my choice. Don’t I want to be in heaven with everyone? I need to give myself to god

I won’t see my family members who passed away Catholic.

That I need to tell my other side of the family who’s Catholic the right way

The news comes on....hearing the Bible says this the Bible says that

Trying to defend trump with the Bible

This pandemic is the first plague, the world will end soon

The studies getting more and more. I can’t even read the Bible just to study out of joy cause I feel like someone is breathing down my neck.

I’m getting a headache just thinking about it.

And then I’m introduce the rotten apples of my religion.

We shouldn’t wear mask it’s God’s air

Only having faith is god will keep you from getting sick and heal you

Ever remember of LGBT is going to hell

Woman who abortion are going to hell

People will tattoos go to hell

People who don’t read the Bible everyday are going to hell

People who want to make this religion more open and accepting, are hearing the devil and are going to hell

People who kill themselves are going to hell

Mental illness isn’t real; it’s just the devil and you just have to be happy cause you have god.

I told my mom I can’t do it anymore, I just can’t, it’s more forced down on me too much. If the world is ending what’s the point? What’s the point of college? What’s the point of life? What’s the point of looking for love?! Cause I’ve been told so many times my own children won’t ever get to adult or teen hood cause the world will end! What’s the point. I’m so grateful to have a mother who understands..

And it pisses me out with these Christian movies. A boy is about to kill himself, and is getting told “you’ll go to hell! You really want that?! To go to hell?!” Why are you showing this?! That’s a last thing a suicidal person needs to hear. They don’t need a fucking Bible lesson, they need comfort!!! As a person who’s tried drowning, choking, and harming themselves, I fucking know I wouldn’t want someone to find me and say “you’re going to hell for that!”

And then you have those horrible people who think just cause they are religious that it gives them a right to be a shitty person. My grandma would fucking forgive a murder if they came out as Christian.

I told my grandma once “I do want to be more involved with the church, I want to give a sermon” and she told me “you can give a small one, not a full one, god did not use women to preach, he used men. I rather you do the children’s story”

.......

The Vice President...some Christians hate her cause “god didn’t intend for women to lead, if he did his apostles would have been women”

my grandma says “she slept her way to the top!” But oh! She didn’t mind if trump, a man who’s assaulted god knows how many women was in office...

Forgive everyone....you’re suppose to forgive abusers..my bullies....I was told to forgive them even if they never said sorry..cause god wants us to forgive

I allowed..a boy to convince me to do things...cause men always knew what was right...it was ok as long as we didn’t have sex...and it was ok...cause he was a Christian boy...

I just try to be a good human...I have sickenly forgave so many people who’ve hurt me....and now...I’m the pushover...

But what I did was wrong...

I’ve just....drifted away slowly...my grandma has sort of stop trying, maybe cause I’m an adult so I can make my own choices..maybe my mum told her something...

But the things she says makes me feel ashame for being Christian....

For the longest time I thought we were perfect people...now that I’m older...I see we’re just as bad..if not worst...

It makes me so sick...just thinking..how I forgave people who HURT ME cause ...if I can’t forgive, then God doesnt want me.

If god really wants all of his “children” then why if it when we says “I don’t want to forgive the person who gave me this trauma” then it’s “i forgave you why can’t you forgive them? It’s so simple, you really can’t do something that simple? Guess you don’t want to go to heaven”

I’m so done

I’m so tired..

I have a headache and started crying a bit while writing this and there’s so much more. But my wrist hurts and just...I want to scream.

But for the majority...that’s my religious trauma.

I’m not hoping to gain anything, just to reach to anyone else who’s going through the same emotions...you’re not alone ok?

[thesaunatest]

MY HUGE THEORY ON EL’S PLOTLINE IN S4

before you guys even start, YES I know that 99.9% of what I say is going to be wrong but this is literally just for fun.

its march 1986, middle of the school year and el HATES school

when we left her she was barely literate and had just started getting accostomed to speaking full sentences, NOWHERE NEAR a 9th grade level, so shes struggling in her classes to say the least

on top of that, she barely knows how to socialize with other people, so shes evidently getting picked on

with joyce and jonathan both working to keep the family afloat, will and el get left alone alot

but outside of the party, they socially have nothing in common

in fact, will is adapting to the new town a whole lot better than el. he fit right in with all the creative kids he met in class, but el didnt mesh with that crowd

anyway, our girl is sturggling

the only time she really has fun is when she visits hawkins, or when someone from the party visits them

which leads us to spring break

mike obviously comes to visit, and el doesnt want them to waste a single second so she begs mike and will to come explore the town with her

at this point joyce is already in her detective mode, hatching a rescue plan for hopper so she doesnt notice theyre gone

and jonathan is battling the heartbreak of nancy ghosting him when she was supposed to come visit

so the trio goes off on an adventure without anyone noticing.......... or so they think

because brenner is back, and he knows el is with the byers, but he cant go and snatch her because he doesnt have the resources all the way in california

in fact, he doesnt have the resources at all. his numbers experiment is seen as a catastrophic failure that lead to the deaths of hundreds of lab employees

the only way for him to redeem himself in the community, and gain his funding back is to present his peers with proof that the project can work, so he needs to get one of his numbers back

el is the only one he can track down, but he doesnt think he can do it himself. if she saw him, she could just kill him with her powers, he assumes because he doesnt know she lost them

so who does he employ to get el back to hawkins? lonnie byers

its almost too easy. it doesnt take much to bribe lonnie, and hey, its not like its his kid. so lonnie accepts the bribe, and goes all the way out to california to find el

he shows up at the byers house..... only to find it completely deserted. so he waits

and the trio finds him there after their day out (why are you here? what do you want? where are mom and jonathan?)

and lonnie, being as crafty as he is, comes up with a good excuse on the fly (hes craftier than i am because i genuinely have no idea what he would say)

anyway, he gets them in his car and on their way back to hawkins

jonathan shows up after theyve already left, and is too stoned tired to think anything of the empty house

and joyce is already halfway to russia

will knows his father. he knows that his father doesnt give a shit about him, the family, or anything about hawkins. he knows that his father wouldnt get involved in anything unless he had something to gain. so hes wraking his brain

maybe.... lonnie pulls over to take a suspicious phone call? maybe will figures out an inconsistency in his story? either way, the gang is onto lonnie and figures that they gotta get away from him and get back to joyce and jonathan

they tuck and roll out of the car. idk. all that matters is that they get out of there

as theyre rolling out of the car, el bonks her head a little and has a quick flashback to her time in the lab

since her intuition is always spot on, she takes this as a cue the breener is back and lonnie is working for him

she tells the boys it isnt safe to go back to california or hawkins, so they come up w an alternative plan, somewhere neither brenner nor lonnie would think to look for them

and while theyre on the road, they stop at a diner to eat (dont ask me where they got the money) and we get will leaving an emotional voicemail home, probably sobbing to jonathan about how much he means to will, which gives el an idea

because who has the resources to help her, as well as a desire for vengeance on brenner? kali

el uses her superb hitchiking skills to get them to chicago

maybe she just has some hints of her powers left, but it isnt too hard for el to find kali

she explains everything thats happened, and lets kali know that if she want revenge, the opportunity is hers

unfortunately, lonnie was hot on their trail, and called for reinforcements

theyre ambushed by the few employees brenner has working for him. initially, everyone is hiding, assisted by kali’s powers

but el knows they arent leaving empty handed, and would rather get taken away then have kali’s freedom taken from her

so el reveals herself, followed by mike because he wont leave her, followed by will because he wont leave mike

all three get taken away, back to hawkins lab, but now kali is even more motivated to bring down the lab once and for all

so kali and her gang get to hawkins, almost simultaniously with jonathan, who has been looking for his family in a frenzy since the morning he woke up to find eveyone gone, without even a note or a phone call, as well as argyle, who came along for the ride

the video store is being used as home base this season, so thats the first place they go, where they find steve, shortstaffed and not knowing whats going on because the whole team ditched him

they catch him up to speed on how EVERYONES GONE and steve catches them up to speed on how EVERYONE IS GETTING MURDERED

meanwhile, brenner has three predicaments

1) no matter what he does to el, what kind of torture he inflicts, she isnt using her powers because she doesnt have them. she tells him this several times. he refuses to believe it

2) lonnie byers is demanding his payment, which he didnt recieve because the deal was that he bring el to them, and he couldnt even do that

3) he has to find a way to dispose of mike and will, who he had no intention of bringing into the lab but theyre here and they know everything

and this is the moment where mike screws up by letting them know that people know theyre in the lab and people know about all the experiments and any second now, someones gonna come banging that door down to save us. nancy, jonathan, steve, robin max, lucas, dustin, kali-

and the second mike says her name he knows he screwed up

brenner decides in that moment that all he can do is round up everyone involved and get rid of them. conveniently, the string of murders occurring will serve as a good cover for what happened to them

and this is the part where joyce, murray, and hopper get back to hawkins

this is also the part where nancy and robin and the gang get back to hawkins

so nancy and robin immediately go to the video store armed with all the new information they learned from victor creel

..... and are met with jonathan, argyle, kali, and steve in pandemonium

they close the store for the day, and get ready to storm the lab

they realize that they need something from the school, so they head there to pick it up

and soon after arriving, theyre met with the all to familiar hawkins lab vans

they make a hasty escape, taking out some of the goons but they need to find a way to get the rest off their trail

they head for the woods, hoping to hide out in the cabin

meanwhile, the russia crew has taken the mostly demolished cabin as their haven to recover from whatever injuries they sustained

theyre all running through the woods, but they realize the people from the lab are closing in on them

and then nancy and jonathan pass a very familiar tree

they use whatever weapon they have on them to break through the bark, and head into the upside down

the lab people keep going into the woods, eventually finding hopper’s cabin

epic showdown between the russia crew and the lab people, joyce, murray and hopper win, they realize the lab is back, immediately head there realizing theyre gonna have to rescue someone

nancy and robin use the info they learned from victor creel to keep the gang alive in the upside down, max, argyle and eddie are freaking out because omg we’re in another dimention, we get some big reveal about the truth about the upside down and the gang makes their way out and head to the lab

and while this is all happening,we get some super emotional monologue between brenner and el (ala-the last 10 minutes of the truman show) and brenner realizes that el isnt going to be the naieve superweapn she used to be, and decides the best thing he can do with el is give her the standard punishment, time in the closet

and being in the closet triggers all sorts of flashbacks and emotions (mbb’s opportunity to show off her acting chops for an emmy)

joyce and hopper bust into the lab like they did in season 1, but this time they dont get caught

they decide to split up to cover more ground, and hopper finds el in the closet

and around the same time joyce finds mike and will and gets them out of there

here comes the REAL emotional performance

hopper sees her, we get a teary eyed “el!” “dad!”, and then hopper gets pulled away from el by lab workers

exactly the same way terry did

we’re watching this happen from el’s perspective, with a heart-wrenching “noooooooooo” from el, accompanied by cuts to every time el has had to be separated from someone she cares about (terry, the s1 ending, billy dying, her leaving kali in s2, saying goodbye to everyone on moving day, her being separated from mike and will when they got to the lab) accompanied by some terribly sad 80s song, then back to the present moment, she reaches her hand out and boom, the guards go flying. her powers are back

except she doesnt have control of them the way she did before, and now shes bringing the whole building down

her and hopper race to the the first floor, and meet joyce and the boys, they get out of the building at the very last second, and the whole thing collapses.

eventually they find the other group, the whole team is now together, they go and take down the big bad from the upside down, joyce almost KILLS lonnie

nancy and robin drop a huge bombshell that has to do with hawkins/the upside down, specifically pertaining to el, which they pieced together after talking to victor creel

we get a massive cliffhanger, season 5 starts like 10 minutes after the ending of season 4

[pinkykitten]

The Move

Stranger Things

Jim Hopper x black plus size! female reader

Warning: cursing

Specifics: fluff, comedy, romance, one-shot, plus size reader, poc reader, black reader, woc reader

People: jim hopper, mrs. and mr. sinclair, lucas sinclair, erica sinclair, flo

Words: 2,411

Requested: By @malasxlenguas (cannot tag) Hi! I'm hype you're puertorican, me too! I wanna request a Hopper x black plus size. Lucas's aunt that moved to Hawkins to be close to her famiky and Hopper saw her and he fell HARD and wanted to ask ber out but didn't know how to and one day he just blurted it out and reader yelled yes lol. Just fluff all over lol thank you!!

Authors Note: honestly i loved this frickin prompt it was so unique and i love delving deeper into the sinclair fam and having something based off of that like what a different prompt! this is really fluffy and just beautiful i love hopper so much and i dont know if i ever told you this but my mom loves hopper she finds him super sexy and she loves how thick he is and masculine yet sweet she even has his face on the netflix profile and my dad was like girl who da h*ll is this??? my dad is old schooled and doesnt watch modern shows. any who hope you guys like this!

“Why is she staying with us?” Lucas asked as he followed his mother around the dinner table as she was setting it up for their guest. 

“Because, she is starting her new life here. She starts working at the police station soon and she doesn’t have a house. She is your aunt for crying out loud, Lucas. And she is supporting all our cause by being the first thing people see as they enter the police station, a black woman. Remember that Lucas.” 

Lucas rolled his eyes as he gave a groan. “But mom its weird being with her.”

“Aw why is that? You used to love being with her when you were younger. What happened?” Mrs. Sinclair shook her head as she changed the napkins out for another color. 

“I used to but every time I walk with her all these guys stare at her. They’re like undressing her with their eyes. Its disgusting mom.”

“Well baby that ain’t your aunt’s fault. Those are all those nasty men that can’t control when they see such a beautiful lady. Plus remember your aunt is on the bigger side and she has got her curves.” Mrs. Sinclair started to shake her butt as Lucas made a disgusted face. 

“That’s the thing. She walks around, people look at us and then the attention is on us like I just want to go to the mall but no can’t go there either without the stares.” Lucas felt like even saying these things his mother was not going to change her mind. 

“Lucas Sinclair I expect you to be nice and kind to your aunt. She loves you a whole lot and watch soon she’ll be out of here and who knows maybe you’ll miss her.”

The door knocked and Mrs. Sinclair took her apron off excitedly and sprinted to the door. “Who is it?” She bit her lip.

“Who do you think crazy? Its your d*mn sister!” You joked. 

Mrs. Sinclair opened up and you and her gave a loving embrace. “I missed my baby sister.”

“I missed you too. Your house is always beautiful. And you? Look at you girl you are gorgeous!” You spun your older sister around. “You sure you had two kids?”

“Hello there y/n,” Mr. Sinclair came down the stairs, smiling. He gave you a handshake. 

“Excuse me, we family. We hug,” you brought him into a tight hug. “Now where are the children? Kids!”

Erica screamed as she ran to you and jumped in your arms. You picked her up and spun her around. “Oh my God! I can’t believe you’re here! You can totally sleep in my room if you want!”

“Idiot she already got a room. She’s sleeping in the guest room.” Lucas said.

You raised your brow as Erica plopped down onto the ground and raised a finger in front of Lucas’s face, “excuse me! I didn’t know I was talking to you fool.”

“Hey both of y’all stop it!” You smacked them both in the head. “I am sleeping in the guest room but since I’m gonna be staying here for a while I can always have sleepovers with you Erica. Now Lucas where’s my hug?”

Lucas sighed as he gave you a hug. 

“There we go. Now, I got you something.” You wipped out behind your back a game that Lucas wanted really bad. 

Lucas squealed as he took hold of the precious item. 

“Now you better share with your sister. Any who I feel way better now but I’ma need y’all’s help with the truck. I know I couldn’t keep everything so I just kept some stuff.” You said as you led them outside to the moving truck. “You guys got all your arms and you all are healthy then you all can help.”

“Of course we are all going to help. Right kids?” Mrs. Sinclair asked, giving Lucas a glare. 

“Yeah of course,” Lucas said. 

Everyone started to help you unloading all your boxes and items. You felt a little homesick having to leave your life back out of town. You had to leave your apartment, friends your whole life. You told your sister that you had to leave because you wanted the job here along with it was closer to the family but in reality where you worked they fired you and no other place would hire you. It made you feel depressed and like you weren’t good enough. People got one look at your size and color and that was it, they saw you as not good enough. But you tried to see your situation half full and realize that you were with family and they were going to help you through this. 

You picked up a heavy box and because it had been raining earlier and was such a gloomy day you slipped on the side of the road with a squeal. Good thing you didn’t hurt yourself but you dropped all your items that were in the box. “Oh sh*t!” You grumbled picking each little thing up. 

You heard a car drive beside you and the car door close. You looked up to see a cop. You hastily stood up and wiped your sweaty palms on your jeans to get your wallet out. “Sorry I just slipped and I was trying to pick this up in time.” You finally looked up at him and he was very tall. 

The man gulped as he saw your beauty. The sun had just peeked through the clouds and landed on your beautiful skin making it shine. Your eyes captivated him and he felt speechless. 

“Are you okay?” You asked, waving your hand to him. 

“Yeah sorry. And don’t worry about this mess. I actually saw you slip that’s why I came here to offer my help.” The man bent down and helped pick up each little thing. “So are you new? Cause I’ve never seen you here before?”

“Yeah I just moved in here obviously today.” You chuckle. “I’m y/n l/n. My sister is married to Mr. Sinclair.”

“Oh so you’re the aunt of Lucas.”

“I’m afraid as to why a cop knows and remembers Lucas.” 

“He was just involved a little bit with a missing case we had. A few years back one of his friends went missing.”

“Oh I remember my sister telling me that. I heard you guys found him. That’s awesome saving peoples lives like that.”

“Well it is my job.” The man smiled. “I haven’t introduced myself I’m Chief Hopper, Jim Hopper.” He gave his hand out and you shook it. 

“Oh I know you! I think we spoke on the phone. I’m gonna work at the police station tomorrow at one of the desks I think y’all said next to Flo?”

“Yeah our secretary.” Hopper wanted to start dancing right there and then. He was excited to have someone like you in the police station. He wanted to get closer to you, know your story. He thought you were extremely beautiful and very kind. “So do you have kids? Maybe a husband?”

“No and no. My kids are Lucas and Erica but I would love to have my own kids someday just gotta find the right man.” She picked up the box but almost fell again with how heavy it was. 

“Here let me help you with that.” Hopper picked up the box. It was attractive. He was tall and very manly but a sweetheart. He was like a big teddy bear. 

Hopper walked in the Sinclair’s house, greeting them all. 

“What are you doing here?” Lucas asked. 

“I was in the neighborhood and saw your aunt slipped and helped her out.”

“So you were gawking at my aunt huh?”

“What? No kid I was-”

Lucas shook his head, “say no more say no more. Every man does it, you are not the first and frankly you are not gonna be the last.”

Hopper was weirded out by Lucas but walked up stairs to your room. 

“Sorry about the mess.”

“Don’t worry about it. You just moved in you should of seen my cabin when I put all my stuff in there. It was packed.”

“Really? Well I appreciate your help. So what about you Jim Hopper, do you have a wife and kids?”

“Kid yes wife no.”

“Oh really? Boy or girl?”

“Girl, her names Jane.”

You grinned, “how sweet. Well she has a good daddy. She should be really proud of you, especially how you found that kid.”

“Well it wasn’t just me who found Will. I had help but I’m more proud of her.” Hopper smiled just thinking about Eleven. “I was thinking if you’re free tomorrow night how about me and you go,” Hopper was going to say a date but he chickened out. “Go, go on a how about you stay and help me organize my desk?”

You were hoping he was going to ask you on a date. Feeling disappointed you nodded, “yeah I will. Thanks.”

“Well its getting late. I’m going to go home, you have a good night.”

“You too Hopper,” you said as he left and you felt self conscious. Maybe he wasn’t with you because you didn’t look like the other women. You were thick, chunky, plus size and black. Maybe he didn’t find you attractive. 

As Hopper walked out of the house he felt like hitting himself. He wasted an opportunity because he was sacred. “I’m such a da*n idiot.”

It was your first day of work and you were nervous. Rubbing your hands on your floral dress you realized they were drenched in sweat. You had your lunchbox tight beside you as you walked inside. 

There were only a few people there so it was not an overwhelming setting. 

“Hello. You must be Flo,” you gave Flo, the secretary a hand shake. 

“Yes, yes I am. And you must be y/n. Nice to meet you sweetheart. There are some papers on your desk that need some checking, think you can do it?”

“Of course yes.” As you sat down in your desk you caught Chief Hopper staring at you. You thought maybe he was worried you wouldn’t do your job right. The other police men there gawked at you. Hopper came out of his office to go for some donuts by the coffee machine. 

“Hello y/n.”

“Hi there Chief.” You went to the copy machine and noticed it was down. “Does this copy machine work?”

“Its just broke down all of a sudden but there’s one in Hopper’s office.” Flo said. 

You became more nervous! Going into the Chief’s office was no joke. It was his personal space. 

“Alright,” you stated quietly. “Chief, may I go copy these papers?”

“Of course, sure.” He took a sip of his just brewed coffee. 

As you walked inside it smelled of cigarettes and faint cologne. 

“Its right there in the corner.” Hopper sat down in his chair and lit up another one of his cigarettes. 

The copy machine was stuck between two cabinets there was a small gap between the two. Noticing the papers had a staple on them you tried taking the staple out carefully, without damaging the paper. Unfortunately all the papers fell in that little gap. You bent down and kneeling in that small gap to pick the papers up. The problem was you became stuck. Your butt was too big! 

You tried not making a scene or noticeable. It was embarrassing to get your butt stuck between a copy machine and cabinets, especially in Chief’s office. You tugged and tugged but it was no use. Your grunts were heard and Chief looked in your direction only to be greeted by your a*s. 

“You okay there?” He put his cigarette down and walked to you. 

“Yeah just fine,” you again pushed and budged but nothing. “Actually no, I’m stuck.”

“Oh really?” Hopper breathed harshly as his eyes couldn’t help but land on your butt. To be honest you were the perfect woman for him. He loved women who were big and luscious. He bit his fist to stop him from drooling. “Da*n.”

“I’m sorry to ask you this but can you help me?”

Hopper chuckled a bit,” sure thing sweetheart.” He grabbed a hold of your chub and honestly in different circumstances his hands on your most insecure part would bother you but you were tired of being stuck and you had work to do. 

“This is not how I would imagine my first day would go.”

“How did you even get stuck in here?” Hopper tried to pull you out. 

“Well I tried to take a staple out of the paper but then all the papers fell on the floor and I tried to pick them up but I got my mama’s body and there is a whole lotta junk in the trunk.” It made you feel awkward to have his fingers gripping your flesh. It almost felt sexual in a way and you were bashful about it. His strong fingers held you in a way you wish it were more. 

“I think I almost got you.”

You felt yourself getting looser and looser as you finally popped out. You fell back onto Hopper as he fell on his back and you landed on your stomach on top of his chest. Your faces only a few inches apart. 

“Oh my God. I am so sorry for all of this,” you pointed your finger to yourself. 

“No don’t be sorry. You’re beautiful. I actually like my women thick,” he growled, trailing his hands from your waist to your butt. 

“Really? I assumed you thought I was ugly.”

“What? Who told you that?”

“Nobody but usually everyone does. That’s actually the reason I came over here,” you leaned on your elbow above him. Your face being cascaded with the morning light. “I was fired from my previous job and nobody wanted to hire me. You guys were the only ones to give me a chance.”

Hopper touched your cheek as you melted into it, “I thought about you all night. Do you want to go on a date with me-”

“YES!” You blurted out quickly and loud.

Hopper giggled and he kissed your sweet lips. You two laughed at the silly position and leaned your forehead against his. 

“I’ll take you later tonight, deal?”

You kissed Hopper again and in a way was very thankful you got fired and that you moved. “Deal.”

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