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sirowsky-stories · 8 months

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Part 6

Description: Niki learns the story behind Pero and William. Meanwhile, Pero is trying to keep the government from discovering their location, something made increasingly difficult by the ever-tightening noose around the safehouse.

Warnings: Pero Tovar x OFC, no reader insert, conspiracy, cursing, angst, mentions of graphic violence, mention of wild animals being kept as pets, friends to lovers, hurt/comfort, secret identity, AU fic. Rating: Mature/Explicit 18+ONLY Word Count: 6800 Series Masterlist

Author's Note: Again, lots of conversation here, and most of the chapter is from Niki's point of view. I do wonder if I'll ever be able to write a series with short chapters...

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He’s been gone for three weeks, and it’s been twelve days since the Chinese private security team had found them, which is why there’s been no communication since then.

Pero had checked in daily before that, making sure they were all okay and reassuring them that he was making progress on keeping the US government off their trail. But when Will’s tracking system had come online and he’d seen that their other enemy was way too close for comfort, he’d activated a digital kill-switch, disabling all possibility of contact with the outside world, but also making the house undetectable electronically.

Unfortunately, that hadn’t been enough to hide them. The team had already narrowed down their search grid enough that they could visibly scout the remaining wilderness, until they’d found the house, masquerading as a clifftop, complete with trees growing on the roof. And since the tracking system had also been taken offline, the hunted had been unable to see the hunters coming.

Nikita hadn’t known about the toxic gas, so when the nurse and the man she’d never seen before at that point, had come running into the bedroom and fumbled through a closet by the door, she’d been utterly confused. But she knows the sound of a hermetic seal locking in place, and she could guess what the loud hissing throughout the rest of the house might’ve been about. Especially when it had been quickly followed by strangled screams and then thumps of bodies hitting the floor.

Gillian had been distraught for most of the six hours that they’d all been trapped in that room while the house had ventilated itself clear of all toxins, and once the door had opened, it had only gotten worse. The gas must’ve been something corrosive to biological materials, because the smell of the bodies had been a blend of melted plastic, burnt skin, and the strangely sweet but utterly disgusting smell of decaying human remains.

Niki had still been too weak to help clean up, but she’d gotten well enough to be able to stand on her own two feet by then, and had seen one of the intruders, the semi-liquefied remains of which had been partly responsible for creating that smell. The combination of the sight and odor had made her vomit, which had prompted the nurse to order her back to bed. She was, and still is, too vulnerable to be able to afford losing meals.

But she’d felt bad about not being able to help them drag the barely cohesive bodies to the furnace in the basement, or even to help scrub the blood and half melted remnants of skin and flesh from the floors. She’s quite sure that Gillian will never fully recover from having had to do that. The poor girl clings to her professional persona to cope, using the fact that Niki still needs her help to go to the bathroom and get dressed, to keep the darkness away from her conscious thoughts. But there’s no escaping them at night, which is why the nurse has barely slept since that day.

The man, William, doesn’t either, but that seems to be part of his normal routine. He hasn’t spoken much since Pero left, despite Gillian’s attempts to get him to talk about how the two men know each other. And Niki suspects that it’s because he’s ashamed. His behavior makes her think ex-military, and probably not the kind that sits behind screens. More likely, he’s been on the ground and seen truly horrific things, evident by how measured and controlled his reactions to the almost melted bodies had been. But Tovar has never been in the military, so that can’t be where they met.

Without his computers, he seems so lost. Like he has no use or purpose in life unless he’s tapping at keys and looking stuff up. So, he probably doesn’t do much besides those kinds of things these days, and that makes her think he suffers from PTSS. Although, she can’t possibly know how severe his problems might be.

Today though, twelve days after the intrusion, it isn’t the potentially frail former military man that’s responsible for the latest drama. Instead, it’s Gillian who finally reaches her breaking point. She has just helped Niki to have a shower and get dressed when she suddenly announces that she can’t stay in this house for another minute, and heads for the front door. Both of the other houseguests let her leave, despite knowing that she could actually end up getting lost and dying out there on her own. But they know how much she’s been suffering, and that maybe this is what it’ll take to keep her from going insane here.

While they wait for her to hopefully find her way back, Niki and William stay together in awkward silence, sitting in the amazingly comfortable living room sofas and playing cards to try and pass the time. But the silence leaves her fighting to stay awake, so after about half an hour, Niki starts trying to get a conversation going.

“Which branch of the service were you in?” she asks, hoping that the question isn’t intrusive enough to trigger any bad reactions in him.

He doesn’t seem surprised at her assessment of him as former military, but he also doesn’t look happy about it.

“Army,” is all he replies, so she doesn’t push the subject.

His tone isn’t harsh, but it’s clipped enough that she knows to steer clear of any follow-up inquiries on the subject.

“And now you do research?” she leaps into the present instead, to see if he might be more comfortable talking about that.

“I have my own company. Kinda like a private investigator, just specialized on digital analysis. Most of the time I do background checks for corporate hires.”

“Oh, so you make sure that people aren’t hiding things from their resume that might come back to bite the rich company executives in the ass?”

“Basically,” he agrees.

“That sounds kinda boring,” she carefully admits, hoping he won’t take offense.

“Sure,” he shrugs. “But I’ve also been hired by city councils and courts, police departments and fire rescue services, to ensure that the people hired to keep us safe, are actually good people. And it pays the bills and lets me stay in my house. I’m not good with… the outside world. I stay away from it as much as I can.”

“Nothing wrong with that. The world isn’t that nice of a place for people with any kind of trauma.”

He offers no objection to her words, so he apparently agrees. Still, she decides not to carry on with that line of inquiry. She wants to ask him about Pero, about how their paths could’ve crossed when their lives seem so far removed from one another, but she doesn’t know how to phrase it so that he might feel okay with talking about it, when it’s clearly a subject that bothers him. So, she remains quiet instead. But then…

“You wanna know about him, don’t you?” Will asks unexpectedly, after a couple of minutes of silence.

It’s his turn to deal and he’s gathered up the cards, but he’s just shuffling them slowly between his hands, without any sign that he intends to start up a new game. His head is bowed, watching his own hands, probably too uncomfortable to meet her gaze as she observes him. Trying to figure out how much she can ask for, how triggering this might be for him, she looks for signs of agitation in his features. But he seems calm. For now.

“Yes,” she admits, and he squirms, only just enough that she can see it.

“Even if you won’t like anything you hear?” he posits, clearly ill at ease with the subject, but somehow still willing to endure that if she asks him, which seems odd.

It’s not like he owes her anything.

“Yes,” she repeats.

He takes a deep breath then, before slowly putting the deck of cards on the table and then clasping his hands together, as if trying to prevent them from doing something else.

“Ten years ago, I had the world at my feet,” he starts, speaking low and sounding unfathomably sad now. “I worked on Wall Street, and I was good. I was rich, powerful among my peers, respected and admired.”

He pauses and makes a little disgusted sound in the back of his throat, shaking his head almost imperceptibly before he continues.

“And I had a gorgeous young fiancé. A trophy. Someone I told myself that I loved because of the status it afforded me to have her on my arm. The envy that it sparked in every man I met, but especially in my rivals. I felt like such a king,” he says, and then scoffs. “I was so stupid.”

He’s wringing his hands now, rocking himself back and forth where he sits a few times, as if trying to chase away something unsettling from his frame.

“Tovar found me because of the people that I’d hurt to get to where I was. The lives I’d destroyed. He’s really fucking brilliant at that. Seeing people’s shadows, no matter how well hidden they might be. It’s like he doesn’t even needs to look for them, he just sees them, as plainly as other people see what you’re wearing or what car you drive. He just knows.”

She’s aware of that side of Pero too, although he’s never turned that skill on her, so far as she knows. But she’s seen him at work. Watched him a few times when he’s been introduced to new coworkers. Sometimes he’d looked at them with utter indifference, as though they couldn’t have been less interesting to him, while other times… one glance had been enough to turn his gaze hard and his eyes dark.

“His thing was that whenever he found someone who was cruel, who disregarded other people and their pains, he would punish them by robbing them of something they cared about. Money or possessions mostly. And he took on anyone. He was relentless. He created this character, Mr. Hood, who would be the only one that his victims ever interacted with, and never in person, always over the phone. That was how he protected himself, and that was how I first encountered him,” Will explains, but then falls silent, seemingly lost in memories.

“He targeted you?” she asks, to encourage him to continue.

“Yeah. One day I get a phone call from an unregistered number, and the voice on the other end says ‘Hello, Mr. Garin. My name is Mr. Hood, and this is a robbery.’ I made the mistake of laughing at him, assuming that it was a joke, because I was a king. No one could touch me. He gave me five seconds to let me pretend that I had any sliver of control left over the situation, and then he took over. And once he did, I had already lost. But of course, I refused to realize that, right up until the bitter end.”

“But if he was just a voice on the phone, how’d you end up meeting him?” she wonders, and he lets out a deep sigh.

The kind of sigh that’s a lot more than just an exhale. The kind that she can feel in her own chest, even though the weight it carries isn’t hers to shoulder.

“My arrogance knew no bounds, so when he demanded a hundred thousand dollars to keep quiet about the twenty people which he’d found out that I’d scammed out of their life’s savings in order to further my own career, rather than accept my punishment and move on, I took it as an offensive insult to my character. And I couldn’t possibly let that slide. That kind of money was pocket-change for me at that time, so you’d think that I would’ve just happily paid and hoped that he kept his word. But no. Out of sheer spite, I had to put him in his place.”

He closes his eyes for a few beats, and he somehow looks a decade older. As though the pain of his own past is eating away at him so mercilessly that his body can’t keep up. Clearly, he wasn’t always a good person, but she didn’t know him then, so she can’t judge his past decisions. For now, she feels only sad for him.

“I knew people,” he continues while slowly opening his eyes, although his hands are restlessly traveling from his thighs to his neck and back again, over and over. “People who could locate most anyone, for a price. The local cartel had a network of spies within the homeless community, keeping an eye on the movements of law enforcement to give them a heads up on raids and such. So, I hired this kid, Billy, to stake out the money drop. Mr. Hood had instructed me to leave the money at a specific location and then walk away, and told me that if I did that, I’d never hear from him again.”

“Let me guess; something went horribly wrong?” she infers, but he shakes his head.

“No. I dropped off the money and left, trusting Billy to check out who would come to collect it. What I hadn’t anticipated, was just how determined Tovar was to keep his identity a secret.”

“He sent someone else to retrieve it?”

“I’m afraid it was even more complicated than that,” he tiredly grumbles, clearly uncomfortable speaking about this, but he doesn’t stop. “The guy that Billy saw retrieve the money was actually a runner for the local mob, but the kid obviously didn’t know that. So, he gave me a cell phone pic of this guy and I used my computer skills to track him down. I was able to catch up to him when he was walking into a rundown old house which I now know was a drop-point for money heading to their launderer. But back then, I just thought it was where this asshole lived, so I came at him like a raging bull. Obviously, he tried to defend himself and it turned into a fight, ending with me killing this guy with a fucking steak knife.”

She refrains from commenting on this unexpected development, but she has to bite her own tongue hard, because Will looks absolutely horrified at the memory.

“It took a while to calm down after that. I’d never killed anyone before, although Tovar would disagree, since one of the people whose money I’d stolen had ended up dying because they couldn’t afford medical treatment. But I’d certainly never deliberately taken a life before that night, and not with my own hands. Once I got my adrenaline under control, I started looking through the house and found a duffel bag full of money on the bed, so I grabbed that and left. And I was actually kinda proud of myself when I got back to my car. That I’d beaten this asshole, that I hadn’t let him hound me around, that I’d taken back control. But then… my phone rang. An unknown number. I answered it, and that same deep voice said: ‘I really wish you hadn’t done that.’ Then he hung up.”

Impossibly, he seems to turn greyer before her eyes now. His entire body looks like it’s shrinking with each breath, and his skin is losing color. All of which tells her that whatever happened next, this is the part he’s ashamed of. The part he regrets, probably more than anything else in his life.

“Turns out that the mob has real-time surveillance on these places nowadays, to discourage stealing among their employees, so by the time I was getting back in my car, they’d already identified me. And since they’ve got their enforcers strategically placed all over the areas where they operate, they got to my apartment a full hour before I did,” he has to stop and clear his throat, but his voice is still broken and weak when he speaks again. “Christine… was still warm when I found her on our bed… They’d taken their time with her. To send me a clear message.”

“Oh, god,” she whispers, feeling her own throat go dry and a lump form in her stomach at the mere thought of what they might’ve done to that poor woman.

“At first, I blamed Mr. Hood for everything. But I couldn’t prove that he even existed, so naturally no one believed me,” Will picks up the thread after a minute, and it sounds as though he needs to keep talking to not have a total breakdown, so she sits quietly and listens. “Still, in my own head, I wasn’t to blame for any of it. It wasn’t my fault that I’d been blackmailed, it wasn’t my fault that the money drop had been another layer of deception, and how the hell was I supposed to know he’d set me up to get caught by the fucking mafia… I had an excuse for all of it. Refusing to accept that if I’d just been willing to part with one percent of my wealth, everything would’ve been fine.”

By the time he stops to breathe, trying to hold the tears back, he does sound calmer, and she wonders if this might be the first time that he’s ever talked about this. He seems spent, though, and there’s still a lot she doesn’t understand, so she tries to give him a nudge to keep talking.

“Okay, that all makes some kinda sense, but one thing I don’t get is, if Pero set this up so that the mob would get involved if you tried to investigate, how was he supposed to get his money in the end?”

“He had a system. To protect himself, the money he extorted from people never actually passed through his own hands. I never managed to figure out that system in its entirety, but I know that he would’ve siphoned his money out of the pot that went to the launderer, somewhere in transit, and probably through someone else’s hands, even then. He really is a god damned genius. If he hadn’t decided to quit, he could’ve ruled the world,” he explains, and his tone has traces of admiration now.

“Do you know why he quit?” she asks, wanting to uncover as much as she can about the man that she’s grown to love, even though she knows almost nothing about his life.

“No. I never asked,” Will replies, deflating her hopes a bit.

He’s been talking for a while now, but throughout this entire story, the only thing she’s learned about Pero is that he was a career criminal for a while. That he was plagued by the injustices of the world and felt compelled to do something about it. That’s it. For a man who’s clearly had a profound influence on William’s life, the veteran seems to know no more about him than Niki does.

“You still haven’t told me how you came to know the man behind Mr. Hood,” she prompts, still hoping that there might be more to the story.

“Uh… Well, after Christine, and everything that followed with the legal investigation, my life fell apart. Whether I was able to admit it or not, I was drowning in guilt. So, I enlisted in the army and went to war in Afghanistan, thinking that putting my own life on the line would somehow make up for it. Predictably, however, killing more people did nothing to lighten the crushing weight on my soul. And when I came back, I was even more fucked up. But by then, I’d at least figured out that I couldn’t run from my demons and that I just had to learn to live with them. I started my company and got to do some real work, actually help people in a visible and tangible way for a change. It made me a hermit, but I didn’t much care since there was no one in my life that would miss not seeing me. Then one day, I get a text from an unknown number, asking if I can find someone. And not just anyone. This person wanted me to find one of the FBI’s ten most wanted criminals, which at first thought seemed ridiculous, so I declined and that was that. But the next day, the phone rings.”

“Unknown number?” she guesses, and he fixes her with a peculiar look in his eyes.

“I’ll never forget the chill that went through me when I heard that voice again after four years,” he says, shivering at the memory before shaking his shoulders, as if trying to shed the feeling. “He wanted me to find this criminal and he was willing to pay for it, but I was freaking out just hearing from him again, so I just hung up on him. And what do you know, the next morning there’s a knock on my door, and there he is. The ghost that destroyed me without even trying. All he said was my name and I had a full-fledged panic attack right there in my own front hall. But the bastard just waited me out. Standing there in the doorway like some fucking vampire waiting for an invitation. Once I’d calmed down, he crouched beside me and said: ‘If you wanna make up for your past, help me serve some misery to some real assholes.’ Then he got up and left, closing the door behind him. I had no intention of helping him do anything, he was the last person in the world that I was ever gonna trust. And if I’d simply ignored him, he might’ve left me alone eventually.”

“But you saw your chance to learn more…” she deduces, and he half-smiles in a nervous sort of way.

“Yeah. I made the same mistake all over again, thinking I could best him. That if I could work out his real identity, I’d be able to expose him and get some retribution. Which was, of course, exactly what he was expecting me to do. So, the next day, there was a package waiting for me on my kitchen table. It was an envelope containing every scrap of information that could be found about him, and even with a copy of his birth certificate and driver’s license, it all fit onto one single piece of paper. He had no credit cards, no social media accounts, he’d never owned a phone or Bluetooth device that could be tracked, never been arrested, never had his prints taken. Nothing but a home address, a few hospital visits, and a barely used bank account to his name.”

“Hm. That tracks with the man I know today too. And I guess he wouldn’t have deposited any stolen money into a bank account, eventually someone would question where it all came from.”

“Absolutely, it all made perfect sense with what little I knew about him, but I was still determined to get back at him, now that I’d gotten it into my head that I might have a chance to accomplish it. And it wasn’t like I was gonna take that information at face value, I still checked everything out myself before I believed that it really was all that could be learned about him from afar. Then, I made my next major mistake, by trying to expose him online, sending out a spam email with his picture and real name, along with a red label warning saying that this man is a dangerous criminal.”

“Why do I get the feeling that he didn’t take that very well?” she asks, cringing involuntarily at the mental image of the perpetually private Pero finding out about something like that.

“I learned two hard lessons that day,” Will admits, and the look in his eyes has already told her that she's correct in her assumption. “Firstly, that I wasn’t the only computer expert he had access to, because the email was sucked up into a virtual vortex the moment that it was sent, never reaching a single inbox. Which has to mean that he had anticipated something like that and had digital safeguards put in place in advance, triggered by anything that directly uses his name or picture.”

“That sounds like something more or less impossible to pull off. Or is that just my ignorance on all computer matters, talking?”

“It’s not the simplest coding in the world, no. But it’s not impossible. The second thing I learned, is that when you piss this man off, he doesn’t settle for threats, he makes you feel his anger, even though you can’t see him. For two full weeks after I’d tried to expose him like that, I got emails, phone calls, and letters, all telling me things like my payments weren’t going through, or my house was up for sale, or my bank had gotten reports about supposed illegal activities that I was engaged in, and was closing my accounts. The police showed up on my front steps three times in those two weeks, and my house was searched from top to bottom twice. It was constant, relentless stressors and anxiety triggers, culminating in a final call where I was informed that my house had been condemned due to asbestos having been found in the basement, and that it was being scheduled for demolition. And it was all legit. Then it suddenly just stopped.”

“His way of telling you that he was still the one in control,” she summarizes, and he nods.

It does occur to Niki, as she’s listening to all this, that perhaps she should be worried about potentially having a child with a man who clearly knows how to terrorize people. But she isn’t. Whether because she understands his reasoning, or because she just doesn’t care what those reasons might’ve been, she can’t tell right now. What she does know, is that hearing all this is giving her more comfort than one would expect. Because it’s reassuring her that Pero really might be able to keep her safe from everything that hunts her.

“Exactly, and that he could crush me without even breaking a sweat,” Will answers, and then continues, apparently hellbent on sharing everything he can about this, no matter how much it tortures him to say it. “He showed up again after that, sat me down in my kitchen and explained to me that if I didn’t wanna help him all I had to do was say no. And that if I kept insisting on trying to hurt him, he was gonna use the power that he’d accumulated over a decade of digging out people’s dirtiest secrets, to make every second of my life one endless panic attack.”

“A threat which he’d just proven that he absolutely can make good on.”

“Yeah. So, I stopped fighting him. And that’s where this story takes an unexpected turn. At least, it was entirely unexpected to me. But when I started working with him, even with how rarely he needed my help with something, that’s when I started to heal. That’s when the guilt stopped being so absolute and began to become manageable. That’s when I started feeling like a worthwhile person again, even if it was just for those little increments of time.”

He pauses, taking a few deeper breaths, and finally seems to stop shrinking, finding strength in the unexpected positivity that this story apparently ends with.

“It’s like he knew… Like he sought me out specifically because he knew that it would help me,” he ponders, looking puzzled. “Why, I don’t know. Maybe he feels guilty too, on some level. But I know that he already had good computer people working with or for him before he came to me, and I can’t think of any other reason why he would replace them with me, when they were clearly doing a good enough job. Honestly, I’m not sure if he even knows this himself. I get the feeling that he’s always frustrated around me, and I know that he always expects nothing but hatred from me. But I don’t hate him anymore. I’m not even sure that I ever did. I just don’t know how to tell him that in a way that he might understand… or believe.”

He ends on a tone of sadness, which clicks something into place for Niki, regarding who this man is at heart, and what drives him.

“That’s why you came here, isn’t it? Because you need him to be safe. Because despite everything he’s put you through… you think of him as a brother.”

She says it softly, and watches his gaze drop to the floor in silent agreement.

“The only thing that he put me through was the loss of that tiny amount of money. Everything else was my own doing. And do you wanna know the most pathetic part?” he asks before looking up to see her nod once, so he answers. “I still have millions. Millions of dollars just sitting there, collecting interest, untouched, unused. I could live anywhere I want. I could buy almost anything I might fancy, but at most, I spend a few hundred dollars on new computer parts each year. Hell, I don’t even have anyone to leave the shit to when I die.”

“Why not give it away? There’s plenty of people in need all around us,” she suggests, already certain that he’s considered that, but curious to hear why he’s holding on to his fortune.

“Yeah, I know. But I just…” he cuts himself off, and it sounds like he was about to say something he might regret. But then he seems to change his mind and continues anyway. “I want Tovar to have it, but I know that he’ll never take it.”

Ah. Of course, that’s what halts him in his tracks. But Niki knows something that William doesn’t, which might come to change both men’s perspectives on this matter.

“Don’t be so sure,” she cautions with a small smile. “Given that we make it through this crap, he might be about to become a father, and that could very well make him rethink a gift like that.”

“You’re pregnant?” he asks with raised brows, but they soon fall again when his eyes trace the pattern of visible injuries on her body.

“I don’t know. I was before the attack and they thought that it was still alive after my surgery, but there’s no telling if it still is,” she explains, and his expression turns sorrowful.

“I hope it is. What’s happening to you is atrocious. If it costs you your unborn child too…”

He doesn’t have the words to finish that sentence, and neither does she, so they just sit there in silence for a while, thinking to themselves. And then there’s a knock on the door, making them both jump. There’s a hidden camera on the left side of it which doesn’t work right now, since all non-essential electronics are still being kept off, but the camera has a clever feature specifically for situations like this. There’s a peephole directly behind the lens. Ordinarily, the casing behind the lens prevents it from being see-through, but if the kill-switch is activated, that casing slips down and the lens becomes a tiny window.

Since Niki is still slow to move, Will gets up and reaches the door before she’s even managed to turn in her seat. He beckons for her to slide down a bit, where she’s less visible, while he sneaks up to the peephole. It sits at chest height, so he has to bend down to look through it, and once he does, his shoulders drop in relief, and he unlocks the door.

“Welcome back,” he greets as Gillian comes through the opening, hugging herself and shivering slightly, and then he quickly closes it behind her.

“Thanks,” she quietly responds before making a beeline for the bathroom, where Niki hopes that she’ll be taking a hot shower.

Given how long they’ve been trapped here together, she hasn’t learned much about the sweet nurse either. Their conversations have mainly revolved around Niki’s recovery, or the problems that they’ve all been facing on a daily basis. She wonders how long it’ll be like this. How long they’ll have to endure this isolation and perpetual disconnection from the outside world.

She’s never been one to lament being disconnected. It’s usually been something she’s sought after voluntarily. But now, when she has no choice, the lack of information and ability to assimilate to the rest of humanity, feels strangely similar to a wall being built around her.

-=<>=-=<>=-=<>=-

He hasn’t heard from them in twelve days, and it eats away at the back of his mind like sharks on a whale carcass. He knows that the kill-switch has been activated because when he tried to make his daily call to Will, the number was suddenly invalid. Not just offline, but the actual phone number has been scrubbed, so that even if the phone is turned back on, it’s no longer connected to any network and can’t reveal the safehouse’s location.

There’s only one reason why that switch would’ve been activated, and Pero has to fight himself every second of every day, not to race back there and find out if everyone made it through what he can only assume was the Chinese discovering their location. Whoever that private radical is, they’ve clearly got pockets deep enough to utilize only the very best technology that money can buy. Most likely, they’ve managed to trace the truck part of the way and then extrapolated, or they got lucky and caught sight of Will, unwittingly guiding them the rest of the way.

The only thing he knows for sure is that it couldn’t have been his own government that attacked, because he’s got enough eyes and ears among them now to have at least a basic grasp of how their search for Nikita is going. Mr. Hood has been working hard upon his return to the world, but he knows that the voice on the phone won’t be enough to persuade some of the more seasoned professionals, which is why he’s looking them up in person.

The Qwerty brothers had been easy enough to find, thanks to Huang’s list, but after a day of observing them, Pero had realized that they weren’t an immediate threat right then. They are clearly on standby, either waiting for new orders or a new job to come their way. After their failure at the hospital, which they both unfortunately survived, their contract may have been revoked. The professional assassin business is surprisingly competitive, so someone else could’ve already been hired to replace them.

He hopes not, because that would mean new faces for him to track down. But in any case, he remains close to the brothers while he works on establishing an information network around project Amazon and everyone who’s currently taking an interest in it. For almost three weeks he’s been watching them, studying their behavior to learn their secrets, so when the time finally comes to confront them, he’s well prepared.

Going at them one by one will only waste time, so he approaches them when they’re on their way home from their most frequented bar, in the small hours of the morning. Earlier that evening, he’d seen one of them receive a message and then instantly show it to the other one, which had made both men shift behavior. From casual drinks and playfulness among the local regulars, to suddenly keeping to themselves and quietly boosting each other’s confidence in clear preparation for a mission.

They might not be going after Niki again, but he can’t take that risk. He has to know either way. They’re both sure on their feet despite the alcohol, when he steps out in front of them, blocking their way to their car.

“Good evening, Mr. Bloom and Mr. Bloom,” he greets, nodding to the men as he addresses them each.

They stop in their tracks at first, but there’s no question that they recognize him from the hospital, and they’re not happy to see him.

“You,” the Tom Cruise wannabe growls, and then both men come towards him.

“You can call me Mr. Hood,” Pero calmly answers, not moving an inch as he sees the realization hit them both at the same time.

There aren’t many people among the rich, famous or corrupt that haven’t heard of him, and among the larger criminal elements in the country he’s almost legendary already. He takes one measured step closer to them, and the brothers almost reflexively step back.

“I have a proposition for you,” he continues, standing still now to make sure that they’re paying attention to his words. “Work for me as double agents against your employer, and I won’t tell the lovely Miss Grenoble about the cat.”

Both men flinch and then quickly glance at each other. They know exactly which cat he’s talking about, they just can’t understand how the hell he knows about it. If they had any doubts that he might be bluffing about being the real Mr. Hood, it vanishes with the understanding that he knows even their most closely guarded secrets. And that’s all it takes to flip their loyalties. Most assassins are, at their core, primarily concerned with their own lives first.

“It was general Hayword who hired us,” the Mark Wahlberg guy says.

“And what was the message he sent you tonight?” Pero questions, to which the other man picks up his phone and reads the message out loud.

It’s a set of coordinates only about thirty miles from the safehouse, along with a sternly worded order to search the entire area, even if they have to trudge through marshlands and cross rivers on foot. This is bad news. It means that the government is closing in on them, probably aided by whoever it is that’s already attacked. And at this point, that means it’s only a matter of time before they’re found and that all he can do is delay the inevitable.

“Alright, here’s what you’re gonna do,” he firmly declares, staring the brothers down with a hard glare. “You’re gonna go to those coordinates and you’re gonna look around. Only one of you is going to remember to bring a phone or other trackable device and it’s gonna end up lost in a puddle of mud or at the bottom of a river within the first hour. And then the two of you are gonna park your asses on a rock somewhere, for at least two days. Now, I don’t care if that rock is an actual rock, or if it’s a hotel room a hundred miles away, the point is that you’re gonna let the general think that you did search that area and came up with nothing. Understood?”

“And when we call from a payphone miles away from the search area and Hayword orders us back out there because we’re apparently idiots who don’t know how to close a fucking pocket?” the Wahlberg guy counters, but Pero just throws him a snide smile.

“He’ll believe that you really are that stupid, because you somehow managed to mess up a simple hospital kill, turning it into a public spectacle, and then completely failed to reacquire your target, forcing the general to do the legwork himself. He’ll be angry, for sure, but he will buy it. Hook, line and sinker. So, you’re gonna say ‘yes, sir’ and keep pretending to search until I say otherwise.”

He leaves without waiting for them to confirm their compliance. He knows that they’ll do as they’re told, the threat of Miss Grenoble is much more sinister than it sounds. She may be the epitome of a crazy cat-lady, except that her cats are of the wild, three to six-hundred pounds range, and she adores them more than her own children. She has and will feed live humans to them if she gets angry.

But he also leaves because there’s a crawling under his skin now. An urgency. He needs to get back to the house as quickly as possible, to work out a plan with the others for how, when and where they’re gonna go to avoid the efforts of general Hayword. Unwanted images of blood staining the polished, soft brown of the wooden walls, floods his mind. Walking in to discover bodies, tortured and mutilated… His head has a tremendous capacity for conjuring up dark scenarios and displaying them to him.

He just hopes that he hasn’t somehow developed clairvoyance in the past three weeks.

-=¤=-=¤=-=¤=-=¤=-=¤=-=¤=-

Part 7

Thank you for reading, and remember: I have no taglist anymore. Follow @sirowsky-stories and turn on notifications for updates on my writing :)

#pero tovar fanfiction #pero tovar x original female character #pero tovar x ofc #modern!pero #modern!au #the great wall fanfiction #the great wall au #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal character fanfiction #sirowsky stories

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cxsmiicc · 2 months

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a friend of mine the other day said that he didn't see editing as a real hobby because it had no deeper meaning. everything im about to say in this post i said to his face on this day. now this dude is like. classic snobby english student. turns his nose up at any book that isn't written in such a way that it takes a week to read. genuinely enjoys poetry and is forever trying to get me to like it too (i violently hate poetry, just not my thing no hate if u like it). we somehow got onto the topic of hobbies and i was talking about how i had a fair few, and i started listing some off of the top of my head. the few i mentioned were editing, writing, reading and crocheting. he offhandedly says that he doesn't think editing is a real hobby because it has no deeper meaning and the look i gave to this boy could have levelled cities. first and foremost, editors. work. fucking. hard. it is not easy to find clips, find audios, and put them all together to make something cohesive. shit takes hours every time. i have cried over edits countless times. i've seen people cry over my edits before and it feels amazing (sounds odd i know but you get it). my next point, a hobby BY DEFINITION is something you do for fun. to relax. to enjoy yourself. not in pursuit of some deep life lesson. hobbies are hobbies because they are something you do for enjoyment, in pursuit of some peace of fucking mind. my edits lately?? mostly lanfear, with a hot audio, and minimal transitions. and what do they mean? that i think she's hot. i still made it. that edit didn't spring fully formed from the void. time and effort went into it. editing is a real hobby, a real career if you're good enough, and an edit can have as deep a meaning as any novel or any song, or be as shallow as a fucking teaspoon. and someone still made it. someone still found the song, marked the beats, cut the clips, added their effects and transitions and colouring and watermark. just as a book can be self indulgent, so can an edit. obviously the two are different, and people can and will argue themselves blue about which is better, film or literature, the old versus the new. but for fucks sake don't be like him. he knows exactly how much time i spend on my edits, how much i agonise over the smallest details. it hurt when he said that so casually. he just threw a year of my life away, saying it doesn't qualify as a pastime because it doesn't teach me anything. okay. can he use after effects with the skill that i can? no. he didn't even know what an mp4 was until i explained this morning. having practical skills can only be an advantage. plus ofc doing anything for a long period of time will teach you these deep philosophical lessons he's oh so fond of. i met my favourite person in the world through editing. she's the reason i started my current editing account. ly babe if ur reading this. posting edits and being an active part of a niche fandom is also incredible for getting better at interacting with people. both the comments on my posts and the comments i leave on other peoples edits are so so supportive and sweet, and yeah. im losing steam with this post so imma leave it here bcs its 2:30am and i am most definitely rambling.

sorry for a long post but this is important to me and every other editor who has had people laugh when they mention what they do for fun

#no tags bcs im vaguely embarrassed to have gone off for this long #goodnight #bonnenuit #lanfear #if he sees this ill laugh #idk his tumblr and he is never allowed to know mine

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lovecolibri · 1 year

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SaL anon here friend, hoping that you are feeling better today and up for what's really mostly salt. I'm not sure I have anything to add to the 911 dissatisfaction discourse (and that its not all over the place) that hasn't been said before and said better, but here's the things that really struck me this episode. First is what feels like a clear intent to replace Buddie with Hen and Buck this season. Let's be clear, i love Hen and Buck together and their dynamuc is not out of nowhere, but i

can't help but feel its not only forced, but being forced to give an excuse not to show Buck with the Diaz boys. Just last season Eddie had his meltdown and the FIRST person Chris called was Buck, who literally dropped everything in his life (including his gf) to take care of them for weeks!! Now they don't hang out anymore, Buck doesn't check in when Eddie stresses about Chris lying or growing up in general?? He's been to therapy, Buck's done his job and that's that. Am I really supposed to buy into that?? I don't know if this is KR's way of minimizing Buddies importance, it feels more like maybe a way to try and make Buck's sperm donor nonsense somehow intersect with Denny asking about his Dad and that leads to something?? Maybe?? I don't know but it's hard to not feel like that makes the entire interaction even more forced, especially since right now it's been mostly a joke and bringing those two things together will be...a choice. Which brings up the point that nothing this season feels like it's setting anything up. I may not be a fan of S5 but at least the highlight, Eddie's breakdown arc, was set up beautifully from the start, as was the Madney issues, and even Bobby's near relapse (even though those last weren't nearly as well executed). Just, what are we supposed go be expecting for the characters?? Nothing that's happened seems in any way connected, it's like KR turned 911 into a sitcom and only occasionally remembers it's a drama. If the big arc this season is for Buck why has it been treated as a joke mostly?? Any cliffhanger we get for the midseason finale won't be nearly as impactful as Eddie quitting last year because it will come out of nowhere. And finally hard agree that the emergencies no longer mean anything. Like the best storyline so far is Eddie dealing with Chris growing up but it doesn't in any way involve his job, I could watch it on any drama on TV!!

Sorry to cut out mid rant, i got interrupted by someone expecting me to focus on my assigned tasks (the audacity). Anyway, pretty sure I more or less finished, i just want to see some spark of the old 911. The new dynamics are fun, but to again use our favorite punching bag of a show, it was also nice to see Alex talk to Max at the end of S3, but it made no sense and I'd have 10 times rather seen his limited screentime spent elsewhere. I need 911 to start doing better than RNM!

Hello my friend! I’m still languishing in my sick bed and very much not looking forward to packing, traveling, or sleeping on my brother and SIL’s couch in their overly crowded house for 3 nights while I’m recuperating, but I’m very excited for the wedding so there’s that to look forward to!

This rant is all 100% spot on and exactly where I’m at right now. I’m not losing all hope, I’m having some fun, I’m laughing, or awwww-ing, but there’s just no gut-punch moments, no edge-of-your-seat moments, no depth, and nothing cohesive tying everything together. You’re so right about the Buck/Hen stuff feeling forced at this point and it’s BECAUSE we’re not getting any Buck/Eddie. Buck talking to Hen when they lost someone made sense because she was the captain on the scene and made the call and they ARE friends and is someone he respects and looks up to for guidance and someone who has all the answers. Him talking to her about the sperm donor thing made sense too as it’s something she’s seen the other side of but it was weird not getting ANYONE else talking with him about it, and the way the show has played it all off as a joke means it dragging out and becoming something bigger is going to be a weird tonal shift, especially since we didn’t get the firefam trying to be cool about it at work but following that scene up with Eddie or Bobby pulling Buck aside to talk about it and it was dropped again this week and likely won’t come up much if at all in the 6a finale unless it’s tied into the Denny stuff but again, they’ve treated it as a joke until now, so it’s going to be a jarring tonal shift if it’s a huge issue suddenly in the finale.

I also agree with where this season is going because like ??? what is anyone doing? Eddie’s dealing with Chris growing up but that’s been a couple of minutes in a few scenes spread over 8 episodes, Chim has nothing outside Maddie and Jee and even most of that has happened off screen (and actually most of THAT is speculation because we’re not even earing about much in canon either and is a lot of guesswork from fans based on the synopsis saying they were doing couples therapy), Maddie had the one thing in 6x05 and that’s been it outside a few scenes with Chim and Jee, Hen’s med school thing wrapped 2 episodes ago, Athena had “her” episode which affected zero things in the rest of the show and she hasn’t had much else besides these few scenes with May this week, Buck is all over the place looking for the right couch one episode, the key to happiness the next (neither of which have been brought up again since those episodes aired), and now this sperm donor thing but he’s not talking with Bobby or Maddie or Eddie or even Chim about anything, and Bobby is apparently finally getting something in the finale in 2 weeks, but it’s about a character that hasn’t come up in the 26 episodes since 4x14 a year and a half ago. Joy.

And I think that’s the issue with the emergencies. Because the episodes themselves aren’t having a clear narrative purpose and there’s no major arcs to move forward, the emergencies are just things happening to people we don’t care about with no weight or barring on anything, and they’re running them longer BECAUSE they aren’t doing anything with the mains on the personal side of things so they need stuff to fill the void.

As for the change in character interactions, if we were getting these “new” dynamics in ADDITION to the old ones I think it would be fine, but we’re not getting anything out of most of these scenes that either a) is revealing something to the audience they haven’t (or *can’t*) tell the person in the regular paring, b) is a shared experience only this new pairing has (Eddie and Chim have SO much potential for deep conversations about Maddie/Shannon/their kids/their dads), or c) would work better with the dynamics we’re used to seeing. You’re so right to bring in the RNM parallel because they did the same kind of thing like having Alex and Max talk but it not actually giving us much and it feeling disjointed because they hadn’t spoken for 3 seasons and also robbed us of scenes we actually wanted to see with characters that made sense. 911 is better than this, or at least it used to be. 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

#my sweet nonnie friends #sleeping at last anon #911 #911 spoilers #tim!!#come get your show tim!#i feel like i lost the thread somewhere in here but i already took my cold medicine and need to be asleep like 20 minutes ago #so this is what i'm posting #bon appetit

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godblooded · 2 years

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so now that i have a more cohesive comprehension i think it’s time to discuss my portrayal of bruce. because as per i definitely have a different characterization than most. this is gonna be a big one so let’s drop it under the cut.

bruce was raised closer to his mother than his father, simply for the reason that thomas was frequently working and also involved in his campaigning. he took all the time out he could for bruce, and the two had a very fond, incredibly loving relationship. bruce played zorro with his father-- playfought and talked about the things a father wants to pass onto his son. but he was absolutely closer to martha, and as such, martha became his touchstone for behavior and interpersonal relationships.

martha suffered from postpartum depression following bruce’s birth. with her existent mental illness, it exacerbated it severely, and while bruce’s childhood was bursting with love, it had its difficulties. he came to understand that sometimes when he went away, when he made sure to stay somewhere his mother couldn’t deal with him directly, she would get better. and when she got better she was just his mother again; his mother who taught him how to love. it wasn’t as perfect as is believed, but he doesn’t bring it up often. it was just an understood truth: his presence upset his mother, so his absence, in intervals, could heal it. that was just how he thought, even if he never voiced it.

bruce has always tended not to voice his thoughts.

as a very young boy, bruce was screened for a number of neurodivergent traits, which ended up leading to a lot of varying possibilities. autism was a strong contender, but the antisocial traits he exhibited had their own place. in the end, it didn’t really matter. the trauma of losing his parents how he did-- the memory of their blood soaking into his knees and how he laid there pleading with them to get up, as though they’d just slept in past breakfast. from then on, it was decided into his adulthood that c-ptsd was the only possible outcome.

harmed too young for his brain to have had even a hope of developing ‘normally’, bruce is another casualty of the city he bleeds for.

the death of martha and thomas, something he considers an event, the both of them in one fell swoop. not deaths. but the death of martha and thomas opened the door to consistent retraumatizing for bruce. suddenly he was inundated with false relatives, aunts and uncles he’d never even heard of, cousins stretching states away. at 8 years old bruce wayne was forced to make adult choices he never could’ve handled, period.

his first forays into the subject of being batman were internalized and careful. for four years he lived as a homeless man on crime alley, running the streets with no place to call his own, learning how to survive in a city that had taken too many. he wouldn’t let it happen again, and he wouldn’t let it take him. most of his training is self-taught; most of his training is learned in violence being done to him and by him. he didn’t start building the batmantle and the legacy until he emerged.

alfred kept eyes on him. sometimes he knew and sometimes he didn’t. bruce was always watched, reported back to, but alfred knew he couldn’t control the situations. he couldn’t stop bruce from the fire that had been violently lit inside of him, and he feared for the worst if he was pushed further.

bruce wayne is not a person. he does not exist. he is a gossamer thread, an entity, but not a man, a veil to be seen through. the bat is the truth of him. the bat is the one without predetermined thoughts. the bat is the one whose face doesn’t draw silent conversations, doesn’t cause the room to hush and lie. the bat forces the truth out of people. and bruce wayne isn’t real.

as such, bruce is much more likely to acquiesce to someone else. he’s more likely to remain silent, reluctant to give his thoughts. it’s not that he doesn’t think they can be valued, it’s that he simply doesn’t see the reasoning. when living in a world where he had no one else to speak to, his statements became moot. while living on the streets no one spoke to him, and he didn’t speak to anyone. he hasn’t spoken to anyone really since.

social mores go when someone doesn’t socialize. the idea of how to speak properly to someone to carry out a conversation is ridiculous. it feels both useless and futile, because he has no sense of self. but the thing is, bruce is beginning to learn his contribution to gotham must be as distinct as batman’s.

the two parts of him only learn this after the major flooding. he knows this needs to be through batman and through himself. regardless of how much he doesn’t want it to be.

bruce is a gentle, soft, kind person. he has no bombastic traits. he doesn’t put on a persona, and he’s not about to begin. he has to do his part, and this is all the more valuable by the connection to martha, to arkham, to a furious desire to make better a city he feels is his responsibility. bruce cannot save himself, but he can give everything he doesn’t have to the city he loves.

bruce wayne is tender, soft-spoken, and fleetingly considerate. he’s not one for a sense of humor, even if sometimes it sneaks up, and he can be much funnier than he realizes. he doesn’t joke, nor does batman. he doesn’t speak much, and if he speaks more than four words he likes you. but the most important thing to remember is:

bruce wayne is but a shadow. batman is a hero.

#headcanon. bruce wayne.#[this is an IMPERATIVE POST and my take on bruce is a little differentt. so i had to just...write it out.#consider this the comprehensive bruce post.]

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tangleweave · 9 months

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Ah, my Beloved: What do Klyntar believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare you?

[ Random Asks / Accepting ]

Eddie fell asleep nearly the instant his face hit his pillow. Their return had been at 3:30 am, but even through the haze of exhaustion, he'd still had the presence of mind to plant a kiss on Beth's cheek on his way through the kitchen, knowing full well she would be gone by the time he woke again. The scent of her coffee had already wafted throughout the townhouse, a sure sign that she was preparing to go.

But.

He had emerged upon a tendril extruding from Eddie's back, staring out at the city through the window in contemplation. He doesn't sleep, and in this He is far more similar to Beth than His bondmate. He had been prepared to watch Beth's departure from the second floor, to see her walking out the front door, across the street, and around the corner. Would she take her car or the bus? It was all up to her whimsy, depending on the day, but at least both options could be accessed from the same direction.

Beth's approach from behind is a bit of a surprise to Him, but more so is the question she puts forth. He glances over to her, still nursing her cup of coffee and stepping up to stare out the window beside Him. He knows better than to ask her why she's thinking of such things. That business with the Life Foundation had been... catastrophic, to say the least. And this isn't a conversation that need intrude on Eddie's dreams. So He dulls His bondmate's senses, that the discourse might not be accidentally overheard or borne into his subconscious.

"Klyntar die in one of two ways. Either We are consumed... or We are desiccated. In the former, all that We are is absorbed into something else. Something that will be sustained by Us. In the latter, We lose fluidity and cohesion, and We fall to ashes."

He peers at her. "To be consumed is to have Our essence accepted into the fold. When Our time nears, we seek to return to Our kin, that They might consume Us... take Our knowledge, Our memories, and add it to the whole of Us. It is that vast wealth of knowledge and experience that We value most. And it will continue on with each new offspring. Carrying the entirety of the ocean within a drop. When the offspring returns, wizened and tired... the drop becomes the ocean again. But for every drop that evaporates before its return, We are diminished."

He looks back to the window. "For the Klyntar, this is the nature of Heaven and Hell. To be remembered, to be known, for everything We have done and seen... or to be remembered as the lonely, silent stone in an infinite ocean. I do not fear death so much as I fear being forgotten. That fear is a core element of all Klyntar." He pauses. "What happens after We die is that We are remembered by those who held Us closest."

His tendril loops sideways, and He perches His chin on her shoulder. "And you, ko'u aloha... you will be remembered by all Klyntar as the One who loved Us most."

#answered asks #brooklynislandgirl #beth riley #muse: venom #death tw

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half-giant · 1 year

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So I finished that new Wednesday TV show, and I have thoughts about it. But, in short: it wasn’t bad, just disappointing. Spoilers throughout this post if you care.

I’ll start with what I liked:

The casting, particularly for the Addams themselves, was fantastic. Luis Guzmán played Gomez, and was practically on par with Raul Julia. I can see him doing the Mamushka. Catherine Zeta-Jones is a lovely Morticia. She’s a little more lighthearted than I expected, but she makes it feel authentic. And Fred Armisen makes for a both creepy and kooky Uncle Fester.

And the other cast were fun as well. You can tell they had a good time making the show. They come across as a little Riverdaley at times, but that comes down to the writing (which I’ll be getting to).

And I would be remiss if I didn’t talk about Jenna Ortega as Wednesday. She is THE highlight of the show, delivering her lines perfectly, and capturing the feel of a girl from a family of lovable psychopaths. Even when everything else seemed bad, I enjoyed her as Wednesday.

Also Thing. I don’t think this counts as casting, but Thing was done very well. Incredibly expressive given that Thing is just a hand. I think my favorite moment was in episode one when he curls down two of his fingers to simulate bending the knee in submission.

The set design and costuming were also done very well. The school uniforms gave a cohesive aesthetic to most of the cast, while still allowing characterization through the minor customization of done by individuals. The scenes were mostly kept to a few key sets: Wednesday and Enid’s room, The Conservatory (where all two or three classes we see are held), The Weathervane (a café), and Principal Weems office, as well as the woods. And those sets look very pretty, as are the one or two off sets, even if they’re less complex.

The quips, for the most part, were actually funny, and the show let itself sit in emotional moments without feeling a need to undercut them. That’s a low bar to clear, sure, but I’ve seen enough Marvel movies that it feels refreshing.

The moment in particular that most impressed me was when Thing was stabbed and Wednesday thought he was dead. She’s on the verge of tears (we know she hasn’t cried since her pet was killed as a child) and Uncle Fester is shocking him to try to resuscitate him or something. Here she tries to make a quip, but it doesn’t come off as funny. It comes off like a scared girl who’s afraid of losing her friend, who’s afraid it’s already too late. (I don’t know whether this was something the writers intended or just something Ortega interpreted herself, but I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt given how well it turned out)

Now onto the stuff I thought wasn’t so good. Which I think I shall divide into questions I asked multiple times while watching:

Why do they call themselves that? The show makes it clear pretty early on that in this world vampires, werewolves, and all sorts of other monsters not only exist but are known by the world at large. Nevermore Academy is a place for all those freaks and weirdos (affectionate) to gather. And they call them “outcasts”, which is used as a technical term and comes off a bit stilted (particularly when Wednesday has a psychic vision where a bunch of New England puritans say it).

It’s much weirder, however, when everyone who isn’t an outcast is called a “normie.” Now, if this were a thing the students used it wouldn’t be so bad (and for the 3/4 of an episode it’s used that way I liked it), but it seems to also be the technical term (it’s used by the principal, the mayor, and the sheriff). I feel like I’m 16 again the number of times I heard normie used. I would rather die than be 16 again.

Why weren’t they in college? This is a question I have for most every show set in a high school, and Wednesday fails to give a satisfactory answer. The characters seem to spend more time out of class than in it. They are constantly off campus. One of the characters, Tyler (who I presume is also in high school), seems to spend every moment not at home working at the local cafe, morning and evening.

Why are the Addams family so adverse to murder? Wednesday seems appalled by the idea her father could be a murderer. And her Mother is appalled that Wednesday believes her father is a murderer. Tied into this, in a flashback, we see Gomez get his ass handed to him by some rando (not actually a rando but he kinda is) and seem unable to fight. Morticia too, seemed to not understand how to hold a sword, despite being the captain of the fencing team.

In The Addams Family (1991), Morticia and Gomez discuss meeting at Gomez’s cousin’s funeral when he was “Still a suspect.” Then in Addams Family Values, Gomez accidentally cooks a stripper in a cake for his brother’s bachelor party. It’s pretty sexist, but it shows the family’s attitude towards manslaughter and murder. Nonchalance.

And in Wednesday, they have this attitude 90% of the time, but then actual murder happens and suddenly it’s “Your father is innocent.” I wish he had murdered that dude, it would have been cooler.

Wait, why did no one comment on the bad guys (One of whom is an actual Puritan witchhunter) using magic? Isn’t that, like, super hypocritical? Asking this question almost worries me that I’m asking to have my hand held and be spoonfed my morality, but I honestly don’t think the writers even realized the contradiction here. I figured someone would have said even a throw-away line about this. But no, everyone just accepts that the bad guys use magic. I’m not surprised the bad guys are hypocrites, but you’d think that someone would at least use that to make a point.

If Wednesday is so woke, why does she act like the cops are the good guys? This could be better phrased as “Why isn’t this show subversive when it clearly wants to be?” I actually think I have a good answer for this one, Tim Burton. He likes the aesthetics of transgression, but doesn’t actually like transgressing. His characters look like freaks but aren’t. The word for this where I came from is poser.

Wednesday works as a detective and constantly tries to collaborate with the sheriff despite knowing that he hates her, thinks her father is a murderer, and also doesn’t want her around. The end of the season shows that he’s corrupt (he at the very least suspected his son was a monster), but she insists on doing it through proper channels or whatever.

In addition, the show uses “woke” language a lot, and it makes me cringe every time. I don’t mind that it wants to be woke, I’m not some chud. In fact I encourage it. You might even call me a feminist. The problem with Wednesday (2022)’s language is that it merely comes across like early 2010′s pop feminism, without actually saying anything. A character says “There’s no patriarchy in the [bee]hive.” I think that sentence alone encompasses everything I mean.

Do you think this could have used a rewrite? That’s a bad way to use my framing device, but I don’t know how else to say it. A lot of the show has good ideas, but it needs rewritten to actually be good. Whether this is a dialogue, or characters, or plotting, or just factual information. We establish that Wednesday is smart. I like this a lot. I love it when a girl gets to be smart in media. I wish she sounded smart. I wish anyone sounded smart. No one sounds stupid luckily, but there wasn’t enough time spent refining the script. Instead we just get glimpses of what it could have been. Maybe I have too high a standard for TV, or media in general ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Most importantly, why wasn’t it gay? I was properly queerbaited by the marketing for this show, and I want to complain about how ungay this show is. Despite making a poster for the show with the text “Wednesgay,” there are only two queer characters in the show. They are the mothers of Eugene and are in maybe three scenes with maybe 10 lines between the two of them. This damn show promised me a gay Wednesday Addams, and instead I got her stuck in the world’s shittiest love triangle between the guy we’re supposed to think is the murderer and the actual murderer (who are both the most CW characters in the show). For that alone I must give this show a 0/10.

I will watch season two but I will be frowning and shaking my head throughout.

#Wednesday (2022)#wednesday spoilers #I would say I actually liked it quite a lot #Just please let it be gay next time

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nightingaelic · 2 years

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New vegas companions react to a courier with angel wings? Like they were born looking like an angel but only the wings part

(Vulpes, Ulysses, Joshua included)

"Victoriae," the Legionaries called them under their breaths, but it wasn't clear whether that was their name or a Latin title. It also wasn't clear whether the word was meant to be encouragement for Caesar's troops or a warning. After all, the courier was an unknown quantity in the Mojave, an arrow thought splintered in the dust of Goodsprings that now shot straight through the heart of New Vegas' political factions. That alone would have been enough to give the NCR, the Strip, and Caesar's Legion pause, but the stories that surrounded their advance were strange and miraculous. Left for dead, yet risen from the grave. Savior of the common people, from Sloan to Searchlight. And most intriguing, a winged shadow that cut through the desert sun with all the fury of a gathering radstorm.

Arcade Gannon: The Legion's moniker for the courier that had shaken up the region annoyed Arcade to no end. "Mercury is right there," he would complain, to anyone in the Old Mormon Fort that brought up the subject. "God of commerce, messages, travelers, communication... I get why they went with Victoria, since she has wings on her back and Mercury only has them on his shoes and hat, but come on."

As for the wings themselves, Arcade didn't doubt their existence, only their authenticity. He'd watched Doctor Usanagi install all manner of custom implants on patients in her clinic, and he'd seen power armor suits that incorporated jet packs into their frames. The courier probably had some kind of pre-war tech installation that allowed them to fly and gave them the appearance of a Roman deity, simple as that.

So when the courier finally touched down in Freeside for a check-up, Arcade was first in line to examine them and their unusual mode of transportation. He tried to play it off professionally, of course. Under cover of one of the tents, he stretched a wing out as far as it would go and ran a tape measure from joint to tip. "Just over nine feet," he muttered, marking it down on his clipboard.

"Watch the primaries," the courier said, arms crossed. "If I lose even one feather, I'll have to compensate pretty severely while it regrows."

Arcade nodded. Biological cohesion, then, not machinery. He moved up to the joint at the courier's shoulder blade and flexed it gently. To his surprise, there was no seam, no obvious mark of incision or stitching left over from implantation. He paused, unsure, and the courier turned their head. "Something wrong?"

"No, everything's fine," Arcade said quickly. "I just... how did you...?"

The courier grinned. "It's okay. Everyone wants to know. I'm a little fuzzy on the details... bullet to the head and all that, but the short answer is some very specific FEV experimentation."

"Right, but who would even have the resources or think to-"

"Ever hear of the Enclave?"

Arcade froze. "Oh. I'm... oh."

Craig Boone: Boone didn't believe the stories he heard from the caravans that came through after the courier's supposed resurrection, but he was glad of them nevertheless. Any tale that could make the hair on the back of Caesar's neck stand up was a good one, as far as he was concerned. Imagine his surprise when he spotted the courier winging their way to Novac through his scope one night, roughly as described by Ada Straus and company: Wingspan as wide as three NCR troopers laid head to toe, soaring like any other desert hawk with the moon at their back.

The courier spotted him, too, and before Boone knew it, they'd chosen Dinky's toothy mouth as a perch and folded every feather up on their back, neat as you please. "Thanks for not firing on me," they said, glancing at his rifle. "Most folks can't resist the temptation."

Boone nodded. "If you normally fly that low, I'm not surprised. Most people with my skills are happy to practice on birds."

"I'm familiar," the courier said bitterly. "I'm only flying low tonight because I'm looking for someone. Fancy fuck, checkered coat, Khan lackeys. Supposedly they came this way."

Boone shook his head. "Can't say I've seen them. Then again, I'm not keeping an eye out for anyone like that."

The courier raised an eyebrow. "Who are you looking for? Wait, wait- your beret. You're hunting Legionaries?"

"Maybe I am." Boone frowned. "Maybe I'm not inclined to say. Maybe I've heard they have a name for you, in Caesar's camp."

"Ugh." The courier rolled their eyes. "What is it, angelus victoriae? I think that's what that vexillarius said... anyway, I didn't get to pick it, but trust me, I'm not the symbol of victory they've painted me to be. I got shot in the head, for a start, and I've found no friends among the Legion since I recovered from that particular mishap. I left Nipton and their top coyote in somewhat of a state."

Boone's expression hardened. "Vulpes?"

"I think so. He's dead, but so is the rest of the town."

"Bastards." Boone resumed his sniping position. "You'd better go. Talk to Manny in the motel about who you're looking for. He's a friend."

Lily Bowen: The rest of the Mojave might have treated the courier as some kind of divine being, but Lily was not so easily converted. The moment they arrived in Jacobstown, her exclamation of delight became their new nickname among the friendly mutants.

"No, it's fun, I like it," they assured Doc Henry when he politely asked if they'd prefer to go by a different name. "I've just been going by 'Courier Six' since I woke up in Goodsprings. 'Goose' is a perfectly good alternative."

Calamity shook her head at the nightkin that towered over the courier. "You couldn't come up with a more deadly bird than a goose, Lily? Like an eagle, or an osprey, or even a shrike?"

"There is nothing wrong with geese, dearie," Lily said patiently. "They are fierce birdies in their own right. Oh, how Grandma would like to see a gaggle of them protecting her flock while she's away."

It wasn't anything but wishful thinking for the nightkin, but the courier took it to heart. Their deliveries took them outside the Mojave and all over the West Coast on a regular basis, and there were still pre-war ghouls and super mutants around that knew what a goose was and where one might find some. Three little orphaned goslings with patchy down came from up in the Annex Nation, which Lily lovingly dubbed "the Canadian sisters." One sassy snow goose with a bent leg found its way to Jacobstown via a Midwest caravan, and it successfully joined the steadily-growing flock. A pair of bald Chinese geese from a traveling show down in Mexico came up through Raul's channels for their well-earned retirement in the mountains, and Lily happily knitted each one a sweater for the colder nights. The courier even returned one day from a sojourn in the Big Empty with a mechanical model named GAN-Der that Doctor 0 had whipped up upon seeing their own knit sweater, which proudly displayed the word GOOSE.

Each new addition to her flock left Lily with a bigger and bigger smile, but she was still careful when hugging the courier so as not to chafe their wings. "They're lucky to have you, Lily," the courier said, squashed beneath her affections.

"Grandma is lucky to have you, Goose," she always said back.

Raul Alfonso Tejada: "I don't get it," Raul said, the moment he'd managed to swallow all of his fear when the legend themselves broke in his cell door on Black Mountain. "You're a courier? For the Mojave Express?"

The courier shrugged, a movement that traveled from their shoulders all the way up to the bend where their wings were folded. "Sure. It's a living."

Raul eyed the feathered arches with some misgiving. "I've been around a long time, courier, and I've never heard of a Mojave Express runner that gets around the same way un águila real does. Something tells me you haven't been in the business long."

"You got me." The courier smiled. "I've been... in the business, as you say, for a while, but on a much more exclusive, hush-hush contract. The delivery for House was my first for the Mojave Express. I'm shocked I wasn't fired."

"Eh, desperate times." Raul gestured at the wasteland outside. "There aren't many who would trade their peace for a job that takes you into zonas de guerra on a regular basis. Fewer still who could fly right over the mess, if they like."

"It's pretty useful, I'll give you that," the courier admitted. "But if the package is more than a third of my weight, I'm out of luck. There's only so much I can carry before lifting off becomes impossible, and that's saying nothing of weather conditions, wind speed, nearby raiders with missile launchers... you get the idea."

Raul's eyes went to the scar on their forehead. "Sí. A bullet is a bullet, even if you don't have wings. I appreciate the risks you took breaking me out of here, then. So... since the door's open and all... can I go now?"

The courier finally realized they were blocking the exit and jumped aside quickly. "Oh! Oh, sorry, yes. Yes, of course. I know I come off a little intimidating, but I'm so bad at noticing when... never mind."

"Alrighty then." Raul gave them a little salute, then put on a mournful face. "I'll just head out. Alone. By myself. Into the dangerous wastes."

The courier smiled. "What, were you looking for some company?"

Rose of Sharon Cassidy: Cass was, predictably, drunk the first time she ran into the fabled courier in the flesh. They were sulking on the roof of the Mojave outpost's bar in Ghost's usual spot when she staggered up the stairs, intent on offering the lookout with the scary name a drink. Instead, she theatrically stopped dead in her tracks to take in the impossible sight before her.

"Pinesì," she murmured.

The courier turned from watching the distant lights of New Vegas to look at her. "Come again?" they asked, over the curve of their enormous wings.

Cass played it cool. "Nothing. Just... looking for a good story, and something tells me you've got plenty. Why you hiding up here?"

"Not feeling all the attention, tonight." The courier stretched a wing out, close enough to Cass that she could've reached a hand out to touch it. She resisted the temptation, but just barely. God, they looked soft enough to wrap up in, like a blanket or something.

Instead, Cass plunked herself down on an available crate and popped open the bottle she'd planned to gift to Ghost. "Suit yourself. If you're looking for something to take your mind off things, there's no better distraction than a bottle of liquor."

"Oh, I, um..." The courier cast their eyes down sheepishly. "I don't like to drink. Just in case of... accidents."

"No kidding?" Cass grinned. "Not the type to dive off of rooftops during a wild night? You might even be able to avoid the ground, unlike a lot of the hooligans downstairs."

"I've had my fair share of spills," the courier admitted with a chuckle.

"Swell." Cass toasted them, then took a swig. "To the bruises that taught us something, in that case. And a big 'fuck you' to the ones that didn't."

The courier grinned. "Come here often, caravanner?"

Cass sighed. "At the moment, I can be found precisely nowhere else. I'm liable to die at this outpost, if I'm not careful. I'd give every NCR dollar that I've ever earned to sprout wings like yours and fly away."

Veronica Santangelo: Veronica had certainly heard the stories about the courier, but she leaned more toward the side of skepticism with the rest of her brothers and sisters. They led sheltered lives in their bunker, certainly, but stories of a winged courier were far-fetched enough to elicit eye rolls and chuckles among the gathered soldiers. It certainly made things interesting when discussing the divisive figure with other members of the Brotherhood of Steel, who were already fed up with the Legion's appropriation of terms that denoted importance in the bunker. After the courier's rise in the Mojave, greetings of "Ad victoriam" became less and less frequent among the Knights. Veronica found herself wondering whether it was truly their annoyance that made them abstain from using the term "victoriae," or whether they were afraid to summon the one it now referred to.

All of her hesitation disappeared when the courier trudged into the 188 Trading Post, though, and Veronica practically threw herself in their path to pepper them with questions and get a good glance at the bedraggled wings on their back. They were huge, each nearly twice as long as she was tall, if she had to guess, and they looked as beat up and sad as the courier's face.

Veronica abandoned her initial questioning. "No offense, but you look like you've traveled a long way down some bad roads. Er, air currents? Thermals? Jet streams? How high can you get with those fancy appendages, anyway?"

"Not high enough, apparently," the courier mumbled, before shaking the dust out of their hair and feathers. "Ran into some NCR troopers with glory in their eyes just north of Boulder City, and I had to fly straight into a dust devil to lose them properly."

"You poor thing," Veronica said mournfully. "Take my advice: Go order a drink from Michelle or her dad at the Slop & Shop, then go hang out with the Forecaster under the overpass. You're liable to get more questions from far less friendly individuals than myself, walking around the main market with those beauties on your back."

"Thanks." The courier gave her a faint smile. "What's your name?"

"Veronica."

"Well, lead the way then, Veronica. I could use a drink."

ED-E: As soon as it rebooted in the Mojave Express office in Primm, the eyebot became the courier's most trusted companion. Never mind what crowds might gather when they touched down in a small town, the inevitable questions and accusations and demands that followed- here was a little robot that could soar off into the sky just as easily as them, carry supplies that they previously would have had to agonizingly prioritize, attack enemies from a distance, and do it all with no more than a happy beep and a long-dead company jingle. The courier was even overjoyed when ED-E revealed its secret origins, the Enclave lab on the East Coast that had released it into the wasteland to search for a doomed Navarro.

"You're just like me," the courier whispered to the eyebot, holding it close and rocketing upward on a desert thermal that left them hanging level with the Mescal Range. "The scientists turned us loose, and we flew away forever."

ED-E wasn't sure about all of that, based on what little it knew of the courier's own mysterious past, but zipping through the desert air under the shadow of their wings left a peculiar feeling in its circuitry. It began to wonder if the pre-war signage in the Mojave that proclaimed the importance of freedom had missed the definition of the word entirely.

Whatever the circumstances, ED-E couldn't deny that its presence seemed to calm them, seemed to lift their heart in the same way they had lifted the eyebot from its corner on the floor of Johnson Nash's home and shop. "Higher!" they would call out as they navigated the Rocky Mountains. "Come on, ED-E, you can do it!"

And ED-E did. Happily, if it could be said to feel happiness.

Rex: Rex couldn't fly, but he had chased birds in his younger days, when the Denver Police Department was no more and there was nothing better to do among the ruins of civilization. As such, he struggled to his feet when the courier first arrived in the King's School of Impersonation, stretching their wings lightly so as not to knock over a chair in the performance space.

He whuffed softly, drawing the King's attention to the person who had just walked in. The King turned in his chair, and his face lit up like a stage light, in a way that Rex hadn't seen since the NCR had permanently moved to town. "Well, I'll be a mirelurk's uncle. You're like something out of a myth, courier."

The courier snorted in amusement. "Thank you, but apparently that's not enough to get you into the Strip, these days. I'm not keen on getting shot down by a hundred angry Securitrons, so I thought I'd see if you had any work that needs doing and earn my way inside."

Rex trotted forward to inspect their wings. The courier held them still while he sniffed up and down the longest feathers, the ones that nearly dragged on the floor behind them when they walked. He sneezed once, twice, then whined and stared up at them.

The King chuckled. "He's a little confused by you, I think. Truthfully, I can say the same. What's a creature like you doing in my school, looking for odd jobs when you should be out riding the highest heights New Vegas has to offer? There must be crowds of folk itching to empty their pockets for you, in these parts. You're a regular old novelty attraction."

"That's what I'm trying to avoid," the courier answered flatly. "And if your work happens to lean heavily on my 'novelty,' then we're gonna have a problem."

"Whoa, now." The King held his hands up. "I meant no offense. There are one or two things I can think of, off the top of my head. And old Rexie here might be in need of your help, himself."

Joshua Graham: "The prophet tells us that the only angels who minister to the earth are of our own number," Daniel said, when he came calling with stories of a winged figure wheeling above the sandstone cliffs where a caravan had recently fallen. "Whoever they are, they are one of us."

"One of us." Graham looked at his hands, wreathed in bandages. In the later daylight hours of Zion, he could sometimes catch the sunlight dancing on them in a way that made sense, for all the agony he lived with. Any being that survived this world, persisted in it after being raised to sit next to God, could only be motivated by a deep and enduring love- or a gnawing, inexorable pain. That much, Graham could understand. He still frowned at Daniel impatiently. "The prophet also said that angels don't have wings."

When the courier finally alighted in the Dead Horses' canyon camp, no one dared point a weapon at them. No one barred their entry to the cave. It bore their name, after all. And Graham, only momentarily dazzled by their appearance, discovered that they were indeed of the earth when they simply asked for directions and assistance laying their travel companions to rest. He gave them what they sought, gladly, and he gave them the sad story of the Sorrows, the White Legs and Zion itself. Graham was unsurprised when they offered to help, but he startled himself when his heart leapt into his throat as they turned and left, baring their wings to him. He tore through his scattered religious texts when he was certain they had departed, searching for any kind of guidance he could find. Resurrected personages, having bodies of flesh and bones.

The next time they met, he offered his hand to shake, a gesture of satisfaction. They took it. Their skin was warm against his clean wrappings, and the Burned Man's suspicions quieted. He and they shared a history of earthly transition, but not of divinity.

"I know who you are," the courier said to him, when their final decision to flee or fight lay before them. "But you don't look at me the same way Caesar did. To him, I was a symbol, but you... you see me as a person."

Graham inclined his head. "An effort learned from a previous life. It does me no good, to make the same mistakes twice."

Ulysses: Ulysses had known of the courier's wings, even when they were still hidden from the greater world and working for different masters. He'd always assumed their fleetness was more metaphorical than literal: Metaphor, after all, was a familiar friend, learned from his own history and the man the Legion followed. It wasn't until the courier crested the pass between the mountains, until they stretched out great, heaving pinions on either side of them, that he understood the force that had toppled the Divide and woken the dangers of the earth. It gave him momentary pause, but in the end it didn't matter whether the Divide's doom had come like a bolt of lightning from the sky or from a dusty set of footprints. It had burned all the same.

And yet, the courier surprised him further. They walked. The entire distance, the long road, the barren rubble of a nation he'd loved and would have made nameless bargains to see restored, all beneath the ragged boots of the one who'd brought it down to begin with. He could tell it pained them, could see the blisters and scrapes they sustained with each advance, the tears on their cheeks after each deathclaw and tunneler attack, but not once did they lift their wings to save themselves. It might not have done them much good in the Cave of the Abaddon, but it would've gotten them out of several skirmishes with marked men. The only time their feathers unfurled was when they wrapped themselves up before their evening campfire and sang. The music on their lips was quiet, in a language Ulysses did not know, but even he could tell that it was full of sorrow.

When they finally stood before him in his temple, the room he had chosen as their first and final meeting place, he couldn't help but ask. "I told you to go home, courier. Would've made the trip better than most. Didn't once let your feet leave your road. Why... persist?"

They drew themselves up to their full height, splayed each of their wings out for the first time since entering the Divide. "Because I know what I did. I didn't come here with illusions, courier. Even before you came calling, I'd already decided I would answer."

Ulysses smiled coldly under his mask. "Even now, when you face your end, you think to gift me with a message. No, courier. You are, and have always been, the message. The Legion may name you 'victory,' but I have already seen the carelessness that victory brings."

Vulpes Inculta: "Victoriae," Caesar demanded, in his next meeting with the leader of the Frumentarii, and Vulpes Inculta obeyed. His network of spies across the Mojave and beyond relished the task, brought him every scrap of information they could find from Arroyo to Two Sun, Rattletail to New Canaan. Most of it was shit, but Vulpes sifted through each account, anyway. A tribe of devils that exited a vault in Idaho, all with wings like the courier's. A prototype, pre-war construction rig, designed to let its operator repair machinery well above street level without worry of a fall. Even one rumor of a cult in the mountains that caged the East Coast, dedicated to human sacrifice and a giant moth. He sent a Frumentarius after each of the more promising leads. They either came back empty-handed, or they didn't come back at all.

Vulpes abandoned his search and took a more direct approach. He waited until the courier was approaching the NCR's Mojave outpost before unleashing Caesar's fury upon the town of Nipton, certain the western nation would be stretched too thin to investigate themselves and instead send an expendable mercenary when the smoke began to rise. Sure enough, the courier was drawn in by the promise of a payout, and Vulpes watched them eagerly as they floated down to touch the scorched sand of the profligate settlement. His men were shaken by their appearance, but he stepped forward to greet them as he would any traveler that happened upon the Legion's good work. "Don't worry," he called to them, "I won't have you lashed to a cross like the rest of these degenerates. Particularly because your appearance is considered somewhat sacred to our troops, as an omen of good fortune for Caesar's cause."

The courier smirked and folded their wings. "An omen? None of you know me. I could bring about the Legion's downfall, or I could be simply another caravanner on the road to New Vegas."

Vulpes gave them a thin smile in return. "If you were any other caravanner, you would have given this town a wide berth and continued on your way. As it is, I wonder if your curiosity brought you here more than the NCR's dollars."

"You got me." The courier crossed their arms. "I hear you have a name for me. Say it."

Vulpes smile widened. "Victoriae, courier. It rests on the lips of Legionaries, as a prayer."

"Good." The wings shot out again with a crack, and the courier looked Vulpes straight in the eye before taking off. "I'll be sure and tell the NCR that they're absolutely fucked."

#fallout #fallout new vegas #fnv #fnv companions #fnv companions react #fallout new vegas companions #fallout new vegas companions react #once again joshua graham is sending me places #but coming in clutch is vulpes which is a real surprise

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imagines-ouran · 3 years

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Adorably awkward when talking to their crush:

Tamaki, Haruhi

Tamaki

He deems everything you do as adorable beyond belief. Even a simple smile will bring heat to his cheeks, you don’t even have to try. He’s able to talk to you just fine, that is, until you do something cute. He’ll stumble on his words a bit, simultaneously losing his train of thought. He’ll get so red, he brings life to the phrase “as red as a tomato.” And don’t attempt to purposefully tease/make him blush. Oh no. You might just stop his heart 🥺

Haruhi

Dense as all that is holy. Might take her a while to realize that she even likes you, until one day your smile has suddenly managed to make her smile. All of a sudden she’s happier, like she’s on a high. She’ll find herself thinking of you more often than she’d like to admit, until it just hits her like a ton of bricks. Now she’s blushing at how close the both of you had gotten to each other, the brush of each other’s hand sending chills down her spine. Would end up covering her face to avoid embarrassment, hiding the blush on her cheeks. And you teasing her about it would only make it worse. Normally, though, she’s got a good grasp on her composure.

Smooth af when talking to their crush:

Kyoya, Kaoru, Hani

Kyoya

He’s done his research. He knows everything there is to know about you, and he’ll be damned if he doesn’t use it to his advantage. Will “coincidentally” show up where you are. Next thing you know, you’re out at this fancy restaurant, and you won’t have even realized it was a date until after you’d gotten home. He’ll keep you on your toes, providing you with just enough attention in order to keep you coming back for more, essentially bating you into approaching him. It’s easier that way, and it’s cute humorous to watch. Would end up *inconspicuously* creating reasons for you to have to come to him.

“Oh you need my advice on this dilemma that I purposefully created? I guess I could spare some time to help you.”

Slick bastard.

Kaoru

Kaoru is suave, he’s not a shy stammering mess like most may portray him to be in headcanons. He’s reserved, but when he likes someone, he’s hooked. Like the “I daydream about you, chin in hand, mesmerized gaze from across the room” kind of hooked. Rest assured that if he truly liked you, not just shallow infatuation, he would literally go out and get you. He’ll plaster that cheeky smile, casually engage in conversation, and he’ll look at you with a sparkle in his eye. And the next thing you know, you look down and you’re both holding hands. Kaoru has game, and you will fall for him.

Hani

This guy doesn’t get flustered, at least not that I’ve seen. Maybe once in a full moon he’ll blush, but normally he’s the one making you blush. And he enjoys it. He knows he’s cute. He’ll tease you endlessly, although in an innocent way so that you can’t really call him out on it. And then he’ll play dumb. He’ll make you chase him. Hani will reel you in, make it obvious that he likes you, then somehow you’ll end up being the one to ask him out.

Can’t form a cohesive sentence when talking to their crush:

Hikaru

This crush thing kind of just hits him all at once. One minute, he didn’t like you and you both were able to have normal, casual flowing conversations. The next, he’s a blundering mess with an array of overflowing emotions, ultimately screwing up his ability to form coherent sentences. He tries, but maybe half of the time he succeeds. He probably blushes at everything you do, silently cursing himself for even thinking you looked cute while picking up that pencil. How can someone look so cute picking up a pencil??? Yeah, you’ll need to help this boy out, he’s so down bad for you.

Looks up zodiac compatibility for their crush:

Tamaki, Kyoya, Hikaru

Tamaki

You already know. You already know this boy asked you when your birthday was, then proceeded to look up how compatible you both were in every aspect of life. And he takes it seriously too. He’ll use that as a way to convince you that you both are just simply destined to be together.

“This article says our marriage would be 98% successful, I think that’s a sign!”

“This says communication may be lacking :O Let’s spend the rest of the week getting to know each other, inside and out.”

“What do you mean this stuff isn’t real? The stars don’t lie.”

Kyoya

Okay, hear me out. Kyoya knows everything about everything. He knows your favorite subject, what shows you watch, your preferred drink, miscellaneous facts about your life you probably don’t even remember. Might even know your blood type. He’s not a stalker, he’s just up to date on everyone, and he likes to be informed. So you’d better believe if you’re someone he’s actually managed to develop feelings for, especially if he’s accepted those feelings (and managed to not end up in a state of denial) that he’s up to date on your birthday + what zodiac sign you are. And he’s checked the stars to see if you both align. For informational purposes of course.

Hikaru

He may have found himself awfully bored in his room one night and curiosity... kind of got the best of him? He doesn’t necessarily believe in that stuff, but he does find it humorous that you both are said to be “star-crossed lovers.” It makes his heart flutter just thinking about it. Might absentmindedly mention it to Kaoru, only to be mildly embarrassed at how silly he sounds. Wouldn’t admit it, but he secretly hopes you’ve checked to see just how compatible you both are as well.

Thinks they’re smooth but really isn’t with their crush:

Hikaru, Mori

Hikaru

Thinks he’s smooth. Smoother than the cream cheese you spread on your bagel. But then he opens his mouth and a bunch of nonsense comes pouring out. Flattering his guests, whom he has absolutely no romantic feelings for, has managed to give him this false narrative. His words don’t flow, his legs are weak, and he just spilled coffee all over you.

Mori

Yes, it is true that this tall glass of water doesn’t have to say much to make the girls go crazy. Since he doesn’t relay much through words, a very perceptive person is needed to understand what he’s feeling through his actions. And if he likes them enough, his actions will reveal his nervousness. A stumble here, a dropped item there. All is well until he’s actually around them. It’s not that he’s not smooth, he’s just a little more clumsy than he’d like to admit. When he does speak, though, his words are simple but actually convey a lot.

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xoluvx · 3 years

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this is me trying; t.holland

» pairing: tom holland x reader » song: this is me trying » word count: 1.6K

"Hey, you want to join us for movie night today?" Zendaya's voice brought you back to reality. You glanced at her, she was holding the door open while leaning her head in through the small space. There was a small smile on her face like she was too scared to show too much emotion in case it triggered you.

Shaking your head, you leaned further into your bed pulling the covers closer to your chin.

"Are you sure?" she asked again. Usually, she would've given up, but this time she was persistent. There weren't many nights left.

"I'm sure," you said blankly not looking at her. You turned your back towards her bringing the covers over your shoulder. You heard a small sigh followed by the door closing. You felt your throat tightening, the familiar knot making it difficult for you to lay in peace.

The warm tears started forming and it wasn't long before they were streaming down your face.

"I don't understand what the big deal is," his voice echoed as you walked down the hallway. Your hands were fists at your side and all you wanted to do was disappear. "I'm talking to you," he called out again hoping you would stop.

But you weren't stopping.

"Tell me why that's wrong?" he asked again. His voice settling into a softer tone realizing that raising his voice wasn't going to help. He was quickly walking now in the hopes to catch you. His fingers wrapped around your arm gently and you stopped.

"What's wrong? I told you I didn't want to go public, you went against what I specifically told you I didn't want. Why would you do that to me?" you asked the hurt in your voice piercing through his heart.

It hadn't been his intention. It'd slipped. It wasn't something he could take back now.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-" he rambled, but you jerked your arm away shaking your head. The last words you spoke directly to him rung in his head.

"It's over. We're done."

Sinking deeper into the mattress, you held on to the comforter tighter. The tears had dried, but the pain was still holding on tight. You'd seen Tom since then. Obviously, you had to. There was no way of escaping him while you promoting the film, but you hadn't spoken to him. Not directly. Not intentionally.

There was a knock again. This time you didn't react so you were surprised when the door opened slowly and in came the familiar figure again.

"It's not the same without you," Zendaya said sitting at the edge of the bed. She wasn't leaving this time. "Why don't you talk to him?" she asked. She knew everything. She was the one person you ran to, but recently you'd started to slowly isolate her too only leaving the hotel room when you had an interview or special appearance.

"He doesn't want to talk to me anyway," you mumbled. Your voice was muffled by the comforter.

"How do you know? Has he told you that?" Zendaya flopped on the bed, she rested on her side watching the back of your head. Her hand came up to the covers trying to them from your face.

You groaned pulling on the cover.

"He doesn't want me back. I was awful to him," you said remembering how everything went down. The look of hurt he had on his face. The way he'd tucked his hands into the pockets of his trousers and slowly backed away like you'd just accused him of the most horrible crime. The way he turned around and didn't look back. Not once.

"Did he say that?"

"No, but I know." That was the end of the conversation. And the last time you really spent time with her. Or with anyone no the cast for that matter.

"He's not here tonight, just come down for a bit." She pulled on your arm. Finally, you gave up. You let her lead you to the rest of the cast. Sitting down on one of the couches you pulled your sweater sleeves down so your hands saved in the fabric.

There was laughter and talking, but you spaced thinking of the times when you were on this very couch with Tom making jokes with everyone. Back before the world knew about the two of you. Before your world seemed to come down in flames.

It'd been almost a month. A month without Tom. You'd think a month would be long enough to forget about him, but time did not heal your wounds. You'd tried texting him. You missed him. But he never replied. You had no idea where he was or what he was doing. Did he go back home for a break or did he stay in the country to work?

He hadn't posted on Instagram. It was like he'd vanished into thin air, just like you'd wished for when you broke up with him. Which you had to remind yourself, you broke up with him. It didn't make it any easier.

Have you heard anything from Tom?

You'd given in and texted Zendaya, with who you'd patched things up. You couldn't bear to lose her too.

He's actually in town.

The reply was quick and it almost caused your heart to jump out of your chest. He was in town and you didn't know. She hadn't told you without prompting. Had he asked her not to?

The address to the hotel he was staying in flashed on your screen and your heart started jumping again. Thumping loudly, so loudly you could hardly hear yourself think.

It was late. Late enough that paparazzi wouldn't follow you. Late enough that Tom would probably be asleep. Late enough that maybe he wouldn't even want to talk to you if he was awake.

After pulling a few strings, you were standing outside his hotel room. Your hands cold in the pockets of your jacket. Taking out a hand, you formed a small fist knocking on the door gently. No response.

You waited, biting your lip and debating whether you should just go. Shaking the defeatist attitude, you knocked again. This time with a little more force.

It took a few seconds, but the door opened slowly and a shirtless Tom peaked his head through the small crack.

"Hi," you exhaled. You hadn't realized you were holding your breath until you saw him. There was a warm fuzzy feeling in your chest. Your heart was happy to see him.

"What are you doing here?" he asked rubbing his eyes. He had been sleeping.

"You didn't answer my text," you almost whispered. It was as if you'd forgotten how to speak, how to put words together to form a cohesive thought.

"What?" he said furrowing his brows, he still hadn't opened the door completely and you were standing outside his hotel room awkwardly playing with your fingers.

"I text you-"

"You broke up with me. Am I obligated to respond? I've been busy..." he added almost as if to soften the blow.

Stepping back at the sound of his raised voice, you nodded. "You're right. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come." Walking backward, you apologized again turning on your heel, walking back towards the elevator. You heard the door close as you walked away cupping your hand over your mouth to block the ugly crying noises that were desperate to escape.

Pushing on the elevator button aggressively, you waiting for the ding. It felt like the longest seconds of your life. When the doors finally opened you stepped in. Again, the wait felt like an eternity. They were finally closing, but you saw an arm stop the doors.

It was Tom with his disheveled hair and a shirt. He'd put on a shirt.

"I didn't reply because it hurt too much," he confessed standing in front of you as the elevator doors closed. Your bodies shook as the elevator moved down and you held on to the railing to hold your ground.

"I wanted to. I wanted to reply, but you broke up with me." His voice cracked. You wiped some of the tears that'd started falling from your face. He was right.

"I'm sorry," you said finally looking at him. The tears were back, but you weren't wiping them this time. "I want to-" your voice cracked and your chest tightened. You stopped and inhaled deeply watching Tom stand in front of you with confusion.

"I want to try again. Please." Stepping forward you tried reaching for his hand, but he retracted it quickly running both hands through his hair and cupping one over his mouth.

"We can't-" he said softly the elevator doors finally opening. This was your queue.

"It's fine," you smiled forcefully shaking your head as he tried approaching. "It's okay. I'm going," you said pushing past him quickly leaving him dumbfounded on the elevator.

The air was cold as you stepped outside. Your tear-streaked face was faced with the cold wind and tucked your hands into your coat again silently sobbing as you aimlessly walked down the street.

"Wait!"

Were you hallucinating? Turning you saw Tom standing by the hotel entrance. He was walking towards you. Your feet worked quicker than your brain, you started walking towards him too. Each step quicker than the one before and soon enough you were face to face.

His breathing was heavy, his hands cold as they made contact with your cheeks.

"Let's try again," he whispered as he brushed his nose against yours. His lips only centimeters away from yours. Wrapping your arms around his body, you closed the gap. The tears that pooled on your cheeks coursed down your cheeks as you closed your eyes. Losing yourself in the kiss, you tightened your grip around him and his thumb gently wiped the tears.

You didn't know how things would work out, but you knew you wanted to be with him. Publicly or not. You'd never stop trying.

folklore masterlist

#tom holland #tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland x y/n #tom holland angst #folklore #folklore fic #this is me trying #tom holland fic #tom holland fanfic

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jazy3 · 3 years

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Free Guy Review

!!!SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

If you haven’t seen the movie Free Guy (2021) stop reading right now! Drop what you’re doing and go get yourself a ticket! You’ll thank me later!

I loved this movie! I saw it this weekend for the second time because it’s that good! I first saw the trailer on YouTube a while back and then when theatres reopened a few weeks ago I saw the trailer again and my interest was piqued. I had high hopes for this movie based on the fun looking trailer, the premise, the cast, and the sense of fun and escapism that the movie seemed to embody and it did not disappoint. It’s always nice when you have high hopes for something and it meets or exceeds your expectations.

Free Guy is just such a fun and joyous movie. Never taking itself too seriously, packed with lots of heart, cool cameos, full of gaming and pop culture references, and it’s fueled by a unique concept that is well executed. There are just so many things I loved about this movie! It was a ton of fun to watch and the actors clearly had a blast making it. During the movie I kept trying to figure out where I knew most of the actors from but couldn’t place them. When I got home, I googled it and I instantly realized why. The roles are just so different and the actors embody their characters so completely you lose yourself in the film and get completely sucked in. I was honestly so surprised when I figured out what I knew most of the actors from because the roles that they’re known for are so different from their characters in the movie. Their appearances, established ages, and even the accents are so different that I literally did a double take, but that’s what makes the movie so good! Because the main actors obviously didn’t need the paycheque they were just there to have fun and it shows. I think if the situation had been different and the actors involved had been desperate for money or took the role for some other reason it wouldn’t have worked. The film would have come off as cheesy, forced, cringeworthy, or just plain bad. Free Guy is none of those things. The film stars Ryan Reynolds as ‘Guy’ a bank teller in a video game called Free City, Jodie Comer whose best known for playing Villanelle in Killing Eve as programmer Millie Rusk and her avatar Molotov Girl, Joe Keery whose best known for playing Steve Harrington in Stranger Things as programmer Walter ‘Keys’ McKey, and Taika Waititi whose best known for playing Viago in What We Do in the Shadows as the Head of Soonami Studios and the film’s main antagonist and villain Antwan. Rounding out the cast are Utkarsh Ambudka as programmer Mouser and Lil Rel Howery as Guy’s best friend and bank security guard Buddy. In a nutshell, Free Guy is about a bank teller named Guy who finds out he’s a non-playable background character (NPC) in an open-world Grand Theft Auto style video game called Free City. Guy becomes the hero of his own story after meeting Millie, the girl of his dreams, and winning fans all over the world by racking up points by being the good guy and helping others. After leveling up and helping Millie escape a dangerous situation in the game, Guy wins her over and she falls for him thinking that he’s another player. But when the world that Guy knows and all of the people in it are threatened, he teams up with Millie to save his friends before it’s too late. In the real world, Millie enlists the help of her former programming partner and best friend Keys in a race against time to stop their code and all of the sentient characters from Free City from being deleted by Antwan the developer who stole their code when the game’s sequel launches. I love that the movie had a unique premise and didn’t overcomplicate things. There are so many movies that I’ve gone to see over the last few years with such excitement only to be disappointed. For example, I loved Wreck It Ralph, but was so disappointed by its sequel Ralph Breaks the Internet. The trailers made it seem like it would take the premise of the first movie and move things into the online gaming world, and I was excited for that. Instead, the sequel left the premise of the first movie behind entirely and way over complicated the plot and the end result was extremely cheesy and disappointing. Free Guy’s strength is that it’s a self-aware movie made by self-aware people who are excellent at what they do. The movie doesn't take itself too seriously, nor should it, and that allows the story to flow and the characters to feel real and genuine. The movie achieves that perfect balance between being entertaining and telling a cohesive and important story because while the movie never takes itself too seriously the people behind it are serious about what they do. This was very clearly a passion project for all involved, especially Ryan Reynolds, and it shows! As he’s spoken about in interviews and on Twitter, Reynolds called on a lot of his friends to be in Free Guy and help him out and the end result was fantastic! I loved all of the cameos! The Chris Evans cameo was by far the funniest and the Alex Trebek cameo got me right in the feels. When I saw the movie in theatres me and everyone else in the theatre gave a collective “awww” when he appeared on screen. Enlisting real YouTubers to show up as fictional versions of themselves to talk about Blue Shirt Guy’s popularity was a nice touch and you’ve also got blink and you miss it voice cameos by John Krasinski, Dwyane The Rock Johnson, Hugh Jackman, and Tina Fey. Channing Tatum appears as the avatar of player Revenjamin Buttons which for the most part was hilarious. One of my few criticisms of the film is that they went a bit overboard the avatar’s antics as Guy and Buddy are attempting to leave and it got bit a cringeworthy. But I know other people found it hilarious so to each their own. I love all of the little details and references in the movie. Just listing them all would be a post in itself. If you’re someone that loves pop culture references and Easter Eggs this is the movie for you. The characters are fun and believable, and you get attached to them quickly. The actors commit completely to their roles which is makes the humour, romance, and heartfelt emotion of the film work. You buy it. 100%. Something that I absolutely loved was that the characters felt realistic and that the dialogue, attire, and settings for each character really felt authentic. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve watched a movie or TV show and walked away thinking, “The person who wrote that clearly never meet a kid, teenager, or twenty something in their life! That was so unrealistic.” The slang’s all wrong. The dialogue is so eloquent everyone sounds like they did Shakespeare in the Park last summer. You walk away thinking, “What the hell was that? No one talks that way!” What I loved about the characters in Free Guy is that they felt like real people you could actually run into or walk past on the street. I’ve read in interviews that in addition to the written dialogue the cast did a lot of ad-libbing and improvisation and the end result is both hilarious and relatable. The dialogue feels real because it is. The big exception to this of course is Antwan who is altogether off the wall and ridiculous. Antwan is such an outrageous, absurd, vulgar, and cartoonish character. He’s so fun to watch and the actors clearly had a lot of fun with his scenes! I’ve read that a lot of his lines with Keys and Mouser were improvised and I believe it. When he goes all Jack Nicholson on the servers? Lord. He’s such a great villain to watch. The characters that are established to be in their twenties like Millie, Keys, Mouser, and the other employees at Soonami Studios talk, act, and dress like they’re in their twenties. The actors that are in their forties are styled to look like they’re in their thirties and honestly, they’re in such great shape it works! I mean I was honestly shocked to find out Taika Waititi’s real age. I love how the costuming really fits each character and allows you to learn more about them. Keys’ clothing is your typical gamer chic which makes because as we learn from his interview with Millie coding is his life and what gets him up in the morning. From Mouser’s clothing we learn that he’s a sports fan, but also isn’t afraid to take risks like with that blazer ensemble he wears in his final scene at Millie’s apartment.

Millie’s clothing shows the contrast between her and her avatar Molotov Girl, and Antwan’s ridiculous coat enhances the overall wackiness of his character. Guy’s clothing tells us something too. He wears the same thing every day until he meets Millie in the game at which point, he starts deviated from his Free City programming and chooses a different blue shirt. I also really love that they put thought into why Keys needs to wear glasses. Something I noticed on rewatch is that Keys is far sighted which is why he has his glasses on when he’s looking at his laptop or computer and sometimes when’s talking to other people, but not when he goes to see Millie at her apartment or when he goes to get them coffee at the end of the movie. Another interesting aspect of Keys’ character that I noticed on rewatch is self-confidence is really something he struggles with in contrast to Millie and Mouser who are very confident. Millie is a genius programmer and Mouser is excellent at what he does, and they are both very confident in their coding abilities, but Keys isn’t despite being every bit the genius that Millie is. At the beginning of the movie when they first notice the issue with Guy Mouser jokes that Keys needs to be better at his job. In response Keys meekly says he thinks he’s pretty good at his job and trails off at the end. Mouser is just joking around, but because Keys lacks self-confidence comments like that hit him hard. Mouser is moving towards his own desk as he talks so he doesn’t notice how self-deprecating and uneasy Keys’ response is. In the interview from the indie games conference that Millie plays for Keys at his apartment, he brushes off the interviewers comment that he’s a genius and says Millie is the real genius because she created the AI engine and he just wrote the code to make it work. Later on, when Keys helps Millie get into the stash house, she calls him a genius and he tells her that as he’s currently sitting on a toilet stealing user code he doesn’t exactly feel like one. Millie responds offhandedly that he never does, but luckily, she knows better. When Keys realizes that Millie was right, and that Antwan did steal their code and their game worked he tells Millie they need to celebrate because once everyone sees their build she’ll be celebrated and she could win a noble prize. Both Millie and Keys are geniuses in their own right. The game wouldn’t have worked without both of their skills and Guy wouldn’t have come to life without both of them working together. Millie’s AI engine made his sentience possible, but Keys is the one who gave him hopes and dreams so that when he met Millie in the game, he came alive. When done right the settings we see tell the story just as much as the characters do and I love how realistic the settings in Free Guy look. The floor at Soonami Studios where Keys and Mouser work looks like a real office and I love that the desks have clutter and personal effects on them like real cubicles do and that they show Keys taking a box of his stuff with him as he leaves. The lobby with the moving water videos and Antwan’s massive but largely empty office fits perfectly with the obnoxious, zany, and over the top character that he is. I also love the contrast between Keys and Millie’s apartments and how those settings tell us a lot about each character and where they are in their lives when the film starts. When Keys comes home from work to find that Millie has broken in, we see that he lives in a stylish one bedroom apartment with an open concept kitchen full of stainless steel appliances, a large living room centred around an expensive wall mounted TV and entertainment system, with his computer and gaming station set up in the corner. On the walls we see artful clusters of black picture frames, through a partially open door we see a bedroom off to the side, the apartment is full of black and white furniture including a plush couch and nice lamps, and features a textured silver accent wall. All of which makes the fact that Millie managed to break in even more impressive because it is clearly an expensive apartment in a nice building. Keys’ style is minimalist and upper scale and based on what we learn about the events that took place before the start of the movie this indicates that Keys got the apartment and all of the nice stuff in it using the money he received when Antwan bought his and Millie’s game. In contrast, Millie lives in a bachelor apartment and spends her time in coffee shops ordering one single black coffee over four hours. This tells us that she kept her original apartment that she had from before the game was sold and is living off the money she got from the sale while she spends all of her time trying to find the proof she needs to win her lawsuit. When we see Millie’s place, we find that it’s cozy, full of plants, throw rugs, quilts, and comfy furniture. She’s got a bike in the corner, you can see her bed from the centre of the room where she’s got her computer and gaming station set up adjacent to the coffee table and the rest of the living room furniture. Her kitchen is smaller and full of wooden cabinets and her bathroom door has DIY multicoloured square panels on it. Keys and Millie’s apartments are very different and through these settings we see the contrast between where these characters are in their lives, their wealth, and their personal style. The song ‘Fantasy’ by Mariah Carey is featured heavily in the film and is guaranteed to get stuck in your head in the best way! Jodie Comer’s cover of it is amazing! It fits the moment where Guy makes it to the island that is Millie and Keys’ original build and shows it to the world perfectly. This movie made me appreciate Mariah Carey’s music in a whole new way and I can’t be the only way. After watching the movie, I went looking for the song on Apple Music, wound up listening to the Mariah Carey Essentials Playlist, and I’ve become obsessed. I knew some of her hits, but after listening to her music more I get why people love her so much. Her five octave vocal range is amazing, and her music is just so fun to listen to. The film has a really great soundtrack overall and I’ve had many of its song on repeat since I saw it. Something I really loved about this movie and the reveal at the end that Keys is in love with Millie and is desperate for her to notice, but she’s been oblivious the whole time is that they don’t do the supposedly nice nerdy guy whose really a jerk trope. So many movies do this where you have a nerdy male character whose unluckily love, looked over, or his love is unrequited, and we’re supposed to root for him because he’s a quote “nice guy”. But really, he’s not. He’s a jerk who feels slighted because a woman in his life doesn’t love him back or notice him and he feels as if she owes him something. The scene at Millie’s place where Millie tells Keys he looks cute when he brags, and Mouser encourages him to tell Millie how he feels is super frustrating to watch but it’s so important to Keys’ character. He asks Millie out for coffee and when she turns him down to jump back into the game, he doesn’t make a big deal about it even though Mouser wants him to. Instead he gets up and goes and gets her a coffee anyway. She goes to tell him her order, oblivious to the fact that he’s memorized it, he tells her he remembers, and goes to get the coffee anyway much to Mouser’s and the audience’s dismay. This is big because Keys clearly doesn’t want to be walking down the street by himself to get coffee. He wants to be getting coffee with Millie so that he can tell her how he feels to see if she might feel the same way, but when she turns him down he goes and gets the coffee anyway because he truly loves and cares about her and he values their friendship enough to put his own feelings aside and suffer in silence rather than lose her and what they’ve built. So, he takes the opportunity to get some air rather than continue to sit there in disappointment. Which is why he’s so confused when Millie runs after him and calls out to him from across the street. He doesn’t understand what she’s doing there. She turned down his offer to get a coffee and he already knows her order so why is she there? I love that they chose to make that scene non-verbal. I think if Millie had come out and made some big declaration of love it would have felt cheesy and overdone. But her running after him and silently communicating through her smile and body language that she understood and that she felt the same way was perfect. It was subtle and beautiful and perfectly acted. It also felt realistic to the characters because in real life when you’ve known someone a really long time and you’ve spent a lot of time with them you don’t always need words to convey what you mean. What Millie wanted to express in that scene was so big and so all-encompassing she couldn’t find the words to say everything that she wanted to say so she didn’t. She just stood there and smiled knowing that being the genius that he is he would understand. It’s like Keys says in their interview, words will fail you, but code never does. His coding worked and now she understands so rather than try and say it all and fail she just looks at him and smiles to show him that she finally gets it. She finally understands what he’s been trying to say to her all this time. And you can see the exact moment Keys realizes why she’s there. The moment where he goes from being confused as to what she wants to realizing that she saw the video and she knows how he feels and that she wouldn’t be standing there smiling at him like that if she didn’t feel the same way. When I watched the scene the first time around, I was anxiously clutching my nachos the entire time because when Keys ran towards her my immediate thought was, “Oh my god he’s gonna get hit by a car and they’re never gonna get to be together! Oh my god!” But then he didn’t get hit by a car and Millie ran out to meet him and for the first time in their relationship she met him halfway and they kissed and it was beautiful! I think because Free City had so much violence in it that’s where my mind went and I’m very glad they didn’t go that route. One of my only criticisms about the movie is that I wish they had stayed on Millie and Keys just a little bit longer. They kiss and embrace and then very quickly they cut to black. I wish they’d linger on that moment just a little bit longer because I love those characters so much and in the scene that follows where Guy and Buddy are reunited we see them hug and then walk away together to start their new lives and I wish we’d gotten just a bit more time with Millie and Keys. I also really loved the parallel between the different kinds of relationships within the movie and how platonic relationships are just as important as romantic ones. The reveal at the end about Guy being Keys’ creation and a love letter to Millie and her realizing she’s been loving Keys vicariously through Guy and them finally coming together and being on the same page is beautiful because from the very beginning the movie is full of clues, hints, and foreshadowing that all comes together at the end. Meanwhile, we see the friendship between Guy and Buddy and how important that friendship is to him because it’s something that he created on his own. His love for Millie is born out of the programming that Keys gave him, but his friendship with Buddy is something that Guy created all on his own of his own volition. Which is part of what makes Buddy’s death on the bridge so tragic. I cried when Buddy disappeared. Reynolds and Howery play their characters with such sincerity that his death pacts an emotional punch you don’t expect. I love that the security guards at Soonami are so moved by Buddy’s heroism and are so captivated by what’s happening with the live stream that Millie is able to sneak past them into the server room and stop Antwan from destroying what’s left of the game. Something else I noticed on rewatch is that during the final battle after Millie gets booted from the game and Guy has to fight Dude on his own the glasses he’s wearing are very similar to the ones Keys wears in the movie which I thought was a cool nod to Guy being Keys’ creation. This really is a movie in which you find something new every time you watch it. For instance, the second time around I noticed that the foreshadowing that Keys is in love with Millie, but she’s oblivious to it because she’s so focused on the game was really well done. In the video from the indie game conference that Millie plays for Keys at his apartment when asked by the interviewer about their chemistry Millie responds first and says that their friends, their relationship is completely platonic, and laughs off the idea that they have chemistry. In contrast Keys falters and is silent and then eventually says meekly that they’re just friends. Millie is looking ahead at the interviewer and to the side away from Keys as she’s laughing and so she doesn’t see Keys’ reaction. At the end of the apartment scene after Millie breaks in to ask Keys for his help, he tells Millie he cares about her and he almost says something else. It feels like he’s about to say, ‘I love you’ but then he catches himself and instead tells her that she needs to leave. When Keys visits Millie’s apartment to tell her that she was right and they’re sitting on the couch he reaches out and puts his hand on her knee and then snatches it back when he realizes he’s gotten too close. He wants so desperately to be closer to her and in his excitement, he gets closer than he normally would before realizing that putting his hand on her knee in that close proximity is not a platonic gesture. Millie is so caught up in the realization that Guy, the person she’s fallen in love with, is an AI and not a real person that she doesn’t notice. My heart broke for Keys in that scene as he realized that Millie had fallen for Guy and kissed him and was so upset about it and meanwhile, he was right in front of her desperate for her to see how much he cares. It must have just wrecked him to go home that night and realize that Guy was based on the lovelorn character he created and that Millie had fallen in love with his creation while at the same time being so oblivious to his real world affection for her. In the scene at Millie’s apartment after they’ve gotten the server from Antwan and Mouser encourages Keys to say something, I noticed on rewatch just how weak and meager Keys’ attempt to ask Millie out is. He stumbles his way through asking her to get a coffee and trails off at the end so it’s no wonder Millie doesn’t clue in that he’s trying to ask her out. And in Keys’ defence he sent her a whole video confessing his feelings for her and all of the little things he loves about her and then told her to watch it and he has no idea if she did or not. We the audience know that Millie only saw half of it, but Keys has no idea if she saw none of it, part of it, or all of it. He knows she got Guy to remember, but she’s also sending him mixed messages. One minute she’s saying he’s cute when he brags and the next, she’s turning him down for coffee to talk to Guy. From the outside it’s so obvious that Keys is in love with Millie, but she doesn’t see it because she’s always looking the other way, not paying attention, so caught up in the game, and too focused on their work to see what’s right in front of her. On rewatch one of the big things I noticed is that Keys is always on the edge of telling Millie how he really feels but he always stops himself because she brushes him or the idea off and because he’s scared of what will become of their work and their friendship if she doesn’t feel the same way. It’s a huge leap. If Millie doesn’t feel the same way it’s going to make their relationship incredibly awkward and could potentially destroy their partnership so Keys decides it’s better not to say anything or only hint at how he feels rather than run the risk of ruining everything. Something else I noticed on rewatch is that in the interview they give Keys says he thinks of himself as an author and that code is what gets him up in the morning and that he loves the ones and zeros of binary because words can fail you and let you down but code never does. At the end of the movie when Millie goes to talk to Guy in Free Life he tells her that he loves her and while he knows that’s his programming he’s realized that he’s a love letter to her and that somewhere out there in the real world is the author. Such a great callback. All in all, I can definitely say that Free Guy has been my favourite movie so far this year! Definitely my favourite movie of the summer. I went to see it twice in theatres and I’ve never done that for any other movie before. I’ll rewatch them at home sure, but I’ve never actually paid money to see something twice on my own. I’m very excited to see the sequel and my hope is that it will be just as good as the first. Until next time.

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vickyvicarious · 3 years

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Leverage Redemption Pros/Cons List

Okay! Now that I've finally finished watching the first half of Leverage: Redemption, I thought I'd kind of sum up my overall impression. Sort of a pro/con list, except a little more just loosely structured rambles on each bullet point rather than a simple list.

This got way out of hand from what I expected so I'm going to put it all under a cut. If you want the actual bulletpoint list, here it is:

PROS

References

Continuity

Nate

Representation

Themes

New Characters

General Vibe

CONS

'Maker and Fixer'

Episode Twins

Sophie's Stagefright

Thiefsome

You might notice the pros list is longer, and that's because I do love the show! I really like most of what it does, and my gripes are fewer in number and mostly smaller in size. But they do exist and I felt like talking about them as well as the stuff I loved.

PROS

References

There is clearly so much love and respect for the original show here. Quite aside from the general situation, there's a lot of references to individual episodes or character traits from the first show. For example, Parker's comments on disliking clowns, liking puppets, disliking horses, stabbing vs. tasing people. The tasing was an ongoing thing in the original, the stabbing happened once (S1) but was referenced later in the original show, the clown thing only had a few mentions scattered across the entire original show. The puppet thing was mentioned once in S5, and the horses thing in particular was only brought up in S1 once. But they didn't miss the chance to put the nod to it in there; in fact with those alone we see a good mix of common/ongoing jokes and smaller details.

We got "dammit Hardison" and "it's a very distinctive..." but also Eliot and Parker arguing about him catering a mob wedding, and Eliot being delighted by lemon as a secret ingredient in a dish in that same episode (another reference to the mob episode). Hardison and Eliot banter about "plan M", an ongoing joke starting from the very first episode of the original show. We see Sophie bring up Hardison's accent in the Ice Job, Parker also makes reference to an early episode when describing "backlash effect" to Breanna, in an episode that also references her brother slightly if you look for it.

Heck, the last episode of these first eight makes a big deal out of nearly reproducing the iconic opening lines of the original show with Fake Nate's "we provide... an advantage." And I mean, all the "let's go steal a ___" with Harry being confused about how to use them.

Some of the lines are more obviously references to the original show, but they strike a decent balance with smaller or unspoken stuff as well, and also mix in some references between the team to events we the audience have never seen. If someone was coming into this show for the first time, they wouldn't get all the easter egg joy but most of the references would stand on their own as dialogue anyway. In general, I think they struck a good balance of restating needed context for new viewers while still having enough standalone good lines and more-fun-if-you-get-it callbacks.

Continuity

Similar to the last point, but slightly different. The characters' development from the original to now is shown so well. I'm not going to go on about this too long, but the writers clearly didn't want to let the original characters stagnate during the offscreen years. There was a lot of real thought put into how they would change or not.

It's really written well. We can see just how cohesive a team Parker, Hardison, and Eliot became. We get a sense of how they've spent their time, and there's plenty of evidence that they remained incredibly close with Sophie and Nate until this past year. The way everyone defers to Parker is different from the original show and clearly demonstrates how she's been well established as the leader for years now - they show this well even as Parker is stepping back to let Sophie take point in these episodes. Eventually that is actually called out by Sophie in the eighth episode, so we might see more mastermind Parker in the back half of the show, maybe. But even with her leading, it's clear how collaborative the team has become, with everyone bouncing ideas off one another and adding their input freely. Sometimes they even get so caught up they leave the newbies completely in the dust. But for the most part we get a good sense of how the Parker/Hardison/Eliot team worked with her having final say on plans but the others discussing everything together. A little bit more collaborative than it was with Nate at the helm.

Meanwhile Sophie has built a home and is deeply attached to it. She and Nate really did retire, at least for the most part, and she was living her happy ending until he died. She's out of practice but still as skilled as ever, and we're shown how much her grief has changed her and how concerned the others are for her.

There's a lot of emphasis on how they all look after one another and the found family is clearer than ever. Sophie even calls Hardison "his father's son" - clearly referring to Nate.

Nate

Speaking of Nate! They handled his loss so, so well. His story was the most complete at the end of the last show, and just from a narrative point, losing him makes the most sense of all the characters. But the way he dies and his impact on the show and the characters continues. It's very respectful to who he was - who he truly was.

Nate was someone they all loved, but he was a deeply flawed individual. Sophie talks about how he burned too hot, but at least he burned - possibly implying to me that his drinking was related to his death. In any case, there's no mystery to it. We don't know how he died but that's not what's most important about his death. This isn't a quest for revenge or anything... it's just a study of grief and trying to heal.

Back to who he really was real quick - the show doesn't eulogize him as better than he was. They're honest about him. From the first episode's toast they raise in his memory, to the final episode where Sophie and Eliot are deeply confused by Fake Nate singing his praises, the team knows who he was. They don't erase his flaws... but at the same time he was so clearly theirs. He was family, he was the man they trusted and loved and followed into incredibly dangerous situations, and whose loss they all still feel deeply.

That said, the show doesn't harp on this point. They reference him, but they don't overwhelm new viewers with a constant barrage of Nate talk. It always serves a purpose, primarily for Sophie's storyline of moving through her grief. Anyway, @robinasnyder said all of this way better than me here, so go read that as well.

Representation

Or should I say, Jewish Hardison, Autistic Parker, Queer Breanna!

Granted, Hardison's religion isn't quite explicitly stated to be Jewish so much as he mentions that his "Nana runs a multi-denominational household", but nonetheless. He gets the shows big thesis statement moment, he gets a beautiful speech about redemption that is the emotional cornerstone of that episode and probably Harry's entire arc throughout the show. And while I'm not Jewish myself, most of what I've seen from Jewish fans is saying that Hardison's words here were excellent representation of their beliefs. (@featherquillpen does a great job in that meta of contextualizing this with his depiction in the original show as well.)

Autistic Parker, however, is shown pretty dang blatantly. She already was very much coded as autistic in the original show, but the reboot has if anything gone further. She sees a child psychologist because she likes using puppets to represent emotions, she stims, she uses cue cards and pre-written scripts for social interactions, there's mention of possible texture sensitivity and her clothes are generally more loose and comfortable. She's gotten better at performing empathy and understanding how people typically work, but it's specifically described as something she learned how to do and she views her brain as being different from ones that work that way (same link). Again, not autistic myself but from what I've seen autistic fans find a lot to relate to in her portrayal. And best of all, this well-rounded and respectful depiction does not show any of these qualities as a lack on her part. There's no more of those kinda ableist comments or "what's wrong with you" jokes that were in the original show. Parker is the way she is, and that allows her to do things differently. She's loved for who she is, and any effort made to fit in is more just to know how so that she can use it to her advantage when she wants to on the job - for her convenience, not others' comfort.

Speaking of loved for who you are.... okay, again, queer Breanna isn't confirmed onscreen yet, and I don't count Word of God as true canon. But I can definitely believe we're building there. Breanna dresses in a very GNC way, and just her dialogue and, I dunno, vibes seem very queer to me. She has a beautiful speech in the Card Game Job about not belonging or being accepted and specifically mentions "the way they love" as one of those things that made her feel like she didn't belong. And that scene is given so much weight and respect. (Not to mention other hints throughout the episode about how much finding her own space meant to her.) Also, the whole theme of feeling rejected and the key for her to begin really flourishing is acceptance for who she is, not any desire for her to be anyone else, is made into another big moment. Yeah, textually that moment is about her feeling like she has to fill Hardison's shoes and worrying about her past, but the themes are there, man.

Themes

I talked a bit about this yesterday, so I'm mostly just going to link to that post, but... this series so far is doing a really good job in my opinion of giving people arcs and having some good themes. Namely the redemption one, from Hardison's speech (which I'm gonna talk a little more about in the next point), and this overall theme of growing up and looking to the future (from above the linked post).

New Characters

Harry and Breanna are fantastic characters. I was kind of worried about Harry being a replacement Nate, but... he really isn't. Sure, he's the older white guy who has an angsty past but it's in a very different way and his personality and relationships with the rest of the crew are correspondingly different. I think the dynamic of a very friendly, cheerful, kind, but still bad guy (as @soundsfaebutokay points out) is a great one to show, and he's got a really cool arc I think of learning to be a better person, and truly understanding Hardison's point about redemption being a process not a goal. His role on the team also has some interesting applications and drawbacks, as @allegorymetaphor talked about. I've kind of grown to think that the show is gradually building up to an eventual Sophie/Harry romance a ways down the line, and I'm actually here for it. Regardless, his relationships with everyone are really interesting.

As for Breanna, first of all and most importantly I love her. Secondly, I think she's got a really interesting story. She's a link to Hardison's past, and provides a really interesting perspective for us as someone younger who has grown up a) looking up to Leverage and b) in a bleaker and more hopeless world. Breanna's not an optimist, and she's not someone who was self-sufficient and unconcerned with the rest of the world at the start, like everyone else. She believes that the world sucks and she wants it to be better, but she doesn't know how to make that happen. She outright says she's desperate and that's why she's working with Leverage. At the same time, Breanna is pretty down on herself and wants to prove herself but gets easily shaken by mistakes or being scolded, which is a stark contrast to Hardison's general self-confidence. There are several times when she starts to have an idea then hesitates to share it, or expects her emotions to be dismissed, or gets really disheartened when she's corrected or rejected, or dwells on her mistakes, or when she is accepted or praised she usually takes a surprised beat and is shy about it (she almost always looks down and away from the person, and her smile is often small or startled). Breanna looks up to the team so much (Parker especially, then probably Eliot) and she wants to prove herself. It's going to be so good to see her grow.

General Vibe

A brief note, but it seems a fitting one to end on. The show keeps it's overall tone and feeling from the original show. The fun, the competency porn, the bad guys and clever plans and happy endings. It's got differences for sure, but the characters are recognizably themselves and the show as a whole is recognizably still Leverage. For the most part they just got the feeling right, and it's really nice.

CONS (no, not that kind)

'Maker and Fixer'

So when I started writing this meta earlier today, I was actually a lot more annoyed by the lack of unique 'maker' skills being shown by Breanna. Basically the only time she tries to use a drone, the very thing she introduced herself as being good at, it breaks instantly. I was concerned about her being relegated into just doing what Hardison did, instead of bringing her own stuff to the table. But the seventh episode eased some of those fears, and the meta I just wrote for someone else asking about Breanna's 'maker' skills as shown this season made me realize there's more nuance than that. I'd still like to have seen more of that from her, but for now the fact that we don't see a lot of 'maker' from her so far seems more like a character decision based in Breanna's insecurities.

Harry definitely gets more 'inside man' usage. His knowledge as a 'fixer' comes in handy several times. Nonetheless, I'm really curious if there are any bigger ways to use it, aside from him just adding in some exposition/insight from time to time. I'm not even entirely sure how much more they can pull from this premise in terms of relevant skills, but I hope there's more and I'd like to see it. Maybe a con built more around him playing a longer role playing his old self, like they tried in the Tower Job? Maybe it's more a matter of him needed distance from that part of his past, being unable to face it without lashing out - in that case it could be a good character growth moment possibly for him to succeed in being Scummy Lawyer again down the line? I dunno.

Episode Twins

This was something small that kind of bothered me a little earlier in the season. It's kind of the negative side to the references, I guess? And I'm not even sure how much it annoys me really, but I just kinda noticed and felt sort of weird about it.

Rollin' on the River has a lot of references/callbacks to the The Wedding Job.

The Tower Job has a lot of references/callbacks to The White Rabbit Job.

The Paranormal Hacktivity Job has a lot of references/callbacks to the Future Job.

I guess I was getting a little concerned that there would be a 'match this episode' situation where almost every new Redemption episode is very reminiscent of an old one. I love the callbacks, but I don't want to see a lack of creativity in this new show, and this worried me for a minute. Especially when it was combined with all three of those episodes dealing with housing issues of some kind. Now, that's a huge concern for a lot of people, and each episode has its own take on a different problem within that huge umbrella, but it still got me worried about a lack of variety in topics/cases.

The rest of the episodes failing to line up so neatly in my head with older episodes helped a lot to ease this one, though. Still, this is my complaining section so I figured I'd express my concerns as they were at the time. Even if I no longer really worry about it much.

Sophie's Stagefright

Yeah, I know this is just a small moment in a single episode, but it annoyed me! Eliot made a bit of a face at Sophie going onstage, but I thought it was just him being annoyed at the general situation. However, they started out with her being awful up there until she realized the poem was relevant to the con - at which point her reading got so much better.

This felt like a complete betrayal of Sophie's beautiful moment at the end of the original show where she got over her trouble with regular acting and played Lady Macbeth beautifully in front of a full theater of audience members. This was part of the con, but only in the sense that it gave her an alibi/place to hide, and I always interpreted it as her genuinely getting over her stagefright problems. It felt like such a beautiful place to end her arc for that show, especially after all her time spent directing.

Now, her difficulty onstage in the Card Game Job was brief and at the very beginning of being up on stage. @rinahale suggested to me that maybe it was a deliberate tactic to draw the guy's attention, and the later skill was simply her shifting focus to make the sonnet easier for Breanna to listen to and interpret, but he seemed more enraptured when she was doing well than otherwise in my opinion and it just doesn't quite sit well with me. My other theory was that maybe she just hasn't been up on stage in a long time, and much like she complaining about being rusty at grifting before the team pushed her into trying, she got nervous for a moment at the very beginning. The problem there is that I think she'd definitely still get involved in theater even when she and Nate were retired. I guess she could've quit after he died, and a year might be long enough to make her doubt herself again, but... still.

I just resent that they even left it ambiguous at all. Sophie's skills should be solid on stage at this point in my opinion.

Thiefsome

...And now we come to my main complaint. This is, by far, the biggest issue I have with the show.

I feel like I should put a disclaimer here that I had my doubts from the beginning about the thiefsome becoming canon onscreen. I thought the famous "the OT3 is safe" tweet could easily just mean that they are all still alive and well, or all still working together, without giving us confirmation of a romantic relationship. Despite this, the general fandom expectations/hopes really got to me, especially with the whole "lock/pick/key" thing. I tried to temper my expectations again when the character descriptions came out and only mentioned Hardison loving Parker, not Eliot, but I still got my hopes up.

The thing is, I was disappointed pretty quickly.

The very first episode told me that in all likelihood we would never see Hardison and Parker and Eliot together in a romantic sense. Oh, there was so much coding. So much hinting. So much in the way of conversations that were about Parker/Hardison's relationship but then Eliot kept getting brought into them. They were portrayed as a unit of three.

But then there was this.

I love all of those scenes of Parker and Hardison being intimate and loving and comfortable with one another and their relationship. I really do. But it didn't escape my notice that there's nothing of the sort with Eliot. If they wanted a canon onscreen thiefsome, it would by far make the most sense to just have it established from the start. But there aren't any scenes where Eliot shares the same kind of physical closeness with either of them like they do each other. Parker and Hardison kiss; he doesn't kiss anyone. They have several clearly romantic conversations when alone; he gets important conversations with both but the sense of it being romantic isn't there.

Establishing Eliot as part of the relationship after Hardison is gone just... doesn't make any sense. It would be more likely to confuse new viewers, to make them wonder if Parker is cheating on Hardison with Eliot, or if they have a Y shaped relationship rather that a triangle. It would be so much clumsier.

Still, up until the Double-Edged-Sword Job I believed the writers might keep it at this level of 'plausible hinting but not quite saying'. There's a lot of great stuff with all of them, and I never expecting making out or whatever anyway; a cheek-kiss was about the height of my hopes to be honest. I mostly just hoped for outright confirmation and, failing that, I was happy enough to have the many hints and implications.

But then Marshal Maria Shipp came along. And I don't really have anything against her as a character - in fact, I think she has interesting story potential and will definitely come back. But the episode framed her fight with Eliot as a sexyfight TM, much like his fight with Mikel back in the day. And then his flirting with her rode the line a little of "he's playing her for the con" and "he's genuinely flirting." The scene where he tells her his real name is particularly iffy, but actually was the one that convinced me he was playing her. Because he seems to be watching her really closely, and to be very concerned about her figuring out who he really is. I am very aware though that I'm doing a lot of work to interpret it the way I want. On surface appearance, Eliot's just flirting with an attractive woman, like he did on the last show. And that's probably the intention, too.

But the real nail in the coffin for me was when Sophie compared herself and Nate to Eliot and Maria. That was a genuine scene, not the continuation of the teasing from before. And Sophie is the one whose insight into people is always, always trustworthy. She is family to the thiefsome. For this to make any sense, either Eliot/Parker/Hardison isn't a thing, or they are and Sophie doesn't know - and I can't imagine why in the hell she wouldn't know.

Any argument to make them still canon leaves me unsatisfied. If she knows and they haven't admitted it to her - why wouldn't they, after all this time? Why would she not have picked up on it even without an outright announcement? Some people suggested they wouldn't admit it because they thought Nate would be weird about it, but that doesn't seem any more in character to me than the other possibilities. In fact, the only option that doesn't go against my understanding of these people and their observational abilities/the close relationship they share.... is that the thiefsome is not a thing.

And furthermore, the implication of this conversation - especially the way it ended, with Eliot stomping off looking embarrassed while Sophie smiled knowingly - is that Eliot will get into another relationship onscreen. Maybe not a full-blown romantic relationship. But the Maria Shipp tension is going to be resolved somehow, and at this point I'm half-expecting a hook-up simply because of Sophie's reaction and how much I trust her judgement of such things. Even if she's letting her grief cloud her usual perceptiveness... it feels iffy.

It just kinda feels like I wasn't even allowed to keep my "interpret these hints/maybe they are" thiefsome that I expected after the first couple episodes convinced me we wouldn't get outright confirmation. (I mean, I will anyway, and I love the hints and allusions regardless.) And while I'm definitely not the kind of fan who is dependent on canon for my ships, and still enjoy all their interactions/will keep right on headcanoning them all in a relationship, it's just.... a bummer.

Feels like a real cop-out. Like the hints of Breanna being queer are enough to meet their quota and they won't try anything 'risky' like a poly relationship. I dunno. It's annoying.

That's the end of the list! Again, overall I love the new show a lot and have few complaints.

#leverage #leverage redemption #leverage spoilers #leverage meta #my meta #this turned into a BIG ol ramble #i planned to write like a couple of sentences for each point but noooo

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red-jaebyrd · 3 years

Text

My Brother’s Keeper

Ric hadn’t set out to make a new friend that day. In fact he hadn’t even expected to see the guy again once he had helped Ric push his busted cab to the side of the road.

Hardly anyone ever went out of their way to help others in Bludhaven. It surprised Ric when this guy, Jason just appeared as if out of nowhere to yell at honking drivers and help Ric get his cab out of the way of traffic. Ric had invited him to The Prodigal for a beer that night as a thank you. He wasn’t sure if Jason would even show up that night, but to his surprise he did.

“So what do you do when you're not swooping in to help complete strangers push their broken down cars out of rush hour traffic?” Ric asked.

Jason laughed. “Little bit of this, little bit of that, mostly free-lance stuff.”

It was a vague answer, but Ric let it slide. Everyone had their secrets, he couldn’t fault a guy he just met to have a few.

“Must be nice. Is it real lucrative?”

“The pay isn’t bad,” Jason shrugged. “I get to set my own hours and carry a gun.”

“Can’t argue with those perks,” Ric chuckled, taking a drink of his beer. “So did you grow up around here?”

“Nah, I grew up in Gotham, what about you?”

Ric tensed at hearing Gotham and gripped the handle of his beer mug tighter. He really hoped Jason wasn’t another one of Wayne’s associates trying to jog his memory and lure him back ‘home’. Maybe he should just play along.

“Same, seems everyone one I’ve run into lately is from Gotham.” Ric challenged.

“Well, to be fair Gotham is a pretty big place,” Jason replied causally. “So what brought you to Bludhaven?”

Ric shrugged allowing the tension to leave his shoulders. “Let’s just say I needed somewhere new to spread my wings.”

“And you chose Bludhaven?” Jason snorted. “Did you lose a bet?”

“Shut up.” Ric laughed, elbowing Jason in the arm. “Don’t knock it. You’re here too. What brought you to the ‘haven’?”

Jason ran a hand through his hair. His brow furrowed in thought before he answered. At first Ric thought that maybe he was prying too much into this guy’s life, or asking too many personal questions. He couldn’t help it. He liked talking and Jason was the first person besides Bea that was actually interested in talking to him.

“Gotham wasn’t safe for us anymore, so my brothers and I bailed and came here.”

“Looks like you left just in time. I heard a lot of crazy shit with the Bat was happening in Gotham. Wait, did you say ‘brothers’?” Ric’s smiled wistfully.

Jason nodded. “I have four. One was staying with our sister the last time I checked in with him and the other two came here with me.”

Ric had always wondered what it would be like to be part of a big family. He wondered if he had ever asked his parents for a brother or a sister. If they hadn’t died, would they have had more children? Would he have been a good big brother to them? Wayne did have a younger son, so Ric was technically a big brother, but he couldn’t remember his life with him. When it came to the Waynes, Ric was just a son and brother on paper.

“Where’s the other one? You said four brothers, but only mentioned three of them.”

He watched as Jason scratched along a groove in the wood of the bar, like he was trying to think of the right words to say. Ric’s stomach flipped as he started to speculate that maybe something serious did happen to Jason’s family. Or maybe Ric was just making Jason feel uncomfortable with all his questions. Ric did that sometimes when he got too excited talking to new people. Jason took a swig of his beer before answering Ric’s question.

“Our older brother...” Jason answered, running his fingers along the condensation of his mug. “…he went missing a few months ago. It’s been hard on the family, especially our father and my youngest brother.”

“I’m sorry. I can imagine it’s been difficult for everyone, especially you. It can’t be easy being the one that they depend on.”

Jason shook his head. “No, truthfully it sucks sometimes, but it has its moments. He was– I had a good role model and they’re good kids. They just miss him. I miss him too.”

“Well you got them somewhere safe,” Ric clapped a hand on Jason’s shoulder. “Well…relatively safe. Any leads on his whereabouts?”

“Nothing but dead ends. Deep down I don’t really think he wants to found,” Jason shrugged. “But I’ll keep looking for him. So what about you, any siblings?”

Ric knew a dismissal when he heard it. He didn’t mind the change in subject. He couldn’t blame Jason for not elaborating. It had to be stressful for anyone looking for a missing family member. He assumed this question was bound to make its way onto him.

“No, I’m an only child. My parents died when I was eight.”

“Shit, sorry man. We can talk about something else.”

“It’s fine. You told me about your brother. I can talk about this. I did get taken into a good home, so I shouldn’t really complain,” Ric shrugged.

“But…”

Ric shook his head. “It’s just frustrating to have these people who are supposed to be my ‘family’ constantly telling me how I should be living my life.”

“Oh, I know how that is, trust me. It’s the worst.”

“Right? Why can’t I live my life how I want to? I’m an adult. They’re not even interested in getting to know me,” Ric ranted. “They just want their precious ‘Dick Grayson’ back. It’s my life now not his, let me live it how I want to.”

Shit. He went too far. He could see the look of surprise on Jason’s face. The lull of silence between them stretched and Ric couldn’t form a cohesive thought. Ric’s brain was scrambling for something else to say, anything to say, to fix the mess he just made but nothing was coming. Instead his mind started replaying all recent moments of disappointed people coming and going in his life claiming that they loved him, but not wanting to take the time get to know him.

Ric really hated his brain sometimes and how there was no filter between what he was thinking and what came out of his mouth. He needed to explain himself to Jason fast. Ric knew Jason had to have noticed the gnarly scar on the side of his head. Maybe the scar would give him a free pass at his unfiltered choice of words.

“Sorry, sorry, that uh kinda came out of nowhere. I…uh…had a bit of an accident…” Ric explained, pointing at his scar. “…I got shot a few months ago and well let’s just say my “family” or whatever they want to call themselves, didn’t take to my recovery well.”

“I’m sorry. Sometimes injuries that intense can either bring a family closer together or tear them apart.”

Ric shrugged his shoulders. It had been rough having to relearn how to do everyday tasks like eating, writing his name, and walking. His “family” and friends had been there at every therapy session encouraging him with their words and overall presence. But the worst of it had been their reactions to the news that his memories of them were gone.

“I couldn’t remember them,” Ric admitted, staring at his near empty beer mug. “They were literal strangers to me the moment I opened my eyes from the coma, and it was something that they wouldn’t accept. In the end their concern for me and my recovery just felt conditional, so I left and came here.”

“Damn. Do they at least check up on you?” Jason asked.

“The old man used to, but I haven’t seen him in a while. A red-headed chick did too, but I told her not to bother anymore. Not if she’s going to keep looking at me searching for ‘him’ to come back. Apparently the other guy they really want was a real ‘Golden boy’, that’s not me.”

Jason snorted.

“What did I say?” Ric quirked a smile.

“Nothing,” Jason smirked, and took a drink of his beer.

“I’m doing just fine on my own. I don’t need them.”

“No you don’t. I know they’re family, but fuck them.” Jason clinked his beer mug against Ric’s.

Oh Ric really liked this guy.

8888

The next few weeks Ric and Jason met up at The Prodigal for beers. Some nights all they did was talk and drink. Other nights they drank and played pool. Jason became one of Ric’s favorite drinking buddies.

Ric couldn’t legitimately remember ever having a feeling of kinship with anyone like Jason before in his life. It was nice and a bit scary at the same time letting someone new in his life. Still, instead of running away from this newfound friendship, Ric embraced it.

Friendship was a concept Ric wasn’t sure he’d ever get used to again. He didn’t have many friends in Bludhaven, well friends that he remembered. Dick’s old friends wanted nothing to do with him. They kept waiting and pushing for Dick to “come back”. When he finally snapped at them that Dick was gone and never coming back, they stopped visiting him. He did have Bea. She was the only one who had welcomed him with open arms and genuinely wanted to get to know him.

Jason had been the only other person he had run into that also didn’t have some hidden agenda to “bring Dick back”. With Jason there wasn’t any pressure or demand to be anyone other than himself. He could be Ric with no expectations thrust upon him. Jason empathized with Ric’s struggle to find his identity apart from the Waynes.

This was what made hanging out with Jason so easy. The anxiety of having to censor himself, afraid he might say or do something that was so inherently not Dick didn’t exist when he was around Jason. It was such a relief and a weight off Ric’s shoulders to just exist in a space with a friend and be himself.

Once Jason had opened up to Ric, he learned that there was a whole slew of shit that had happened to his friend in just a short amount of time. Aside from his brother going missing, Jason had a serious falling out with his dad that had caused a significant rift between them causing him to take his brothers and leave. However, the most devastating news had to be hearing that Jason’s best friend had been killed while staying at an inpatient rehabilitation facility.

“I wish I had some advice to give you, but something tells me you weren’t looking for any,” Ric said.

“No, not really, just a sympathetic ear, I guess.”

“I’m sorry about your best friend. That really sucks what happened to him.”

“Thanks, man. At least we got to work one last job together before he died. Anyway, that’s enough of my bullshit. What’s up with you? You look like my little brother after seven Red Bulls and 3 hours of sleep.”

Ric sighed. “It’s kind of embarrassing, but I’ve been having these dreams lately of faceless people in weird costumes. In the dream I feel like I know them. I’m ready to say their name but I can’t talk. I wake up and by the time I try to recall the images I can’t remember them.”

“Do you think your memories are trying to come back?” Jason asked.

“I don’t know, maybe?” Ric shrugged.

“But…you don’t want them to come back, do you?”

It felt silly getting so worked up over something like lost memories resurfacing. Ric should be happy that parts of his lost past was trying to get through to him. He should be relieved that the 15 years of lost memories were finally starting to return, but he wasn’t happy or relieved. He was worried.

“What happens to me when I start remembering everything? Will I still be Ric when Dick’s memories come flooding back filling in the gaps? What if I don’t like the things I start to remember? What then?”

Jason turned in his stool to face Ric. “No matter what, you’ll still be Ric. You’ll still be the guy with the busted cab I had to push out of traffic. You’ll still be the guy that kicks my ass playing pool. You’ll still be the guy who insists on buying the first round and listening to all my bullshit. You’ll still be you, just with new memories.

“No matter what happens you are not obligated to go back to your old life or live your life by your old memories. You don’t owe those assholes in Gotham anything.”

Ric nodded allowing Jason’s words to sink in.

“We’ll take it one day at a time,” Jason clapped a hand on Ric’s shoulder. “Next round is on me.”

The anxiety slowly started to ebb away as Ric watched his friend leave their high top table and make his way to the bar to get another round of beers.

Ric couldn’t stop the new memories from coming. They were coming whether he wanted them to or not. And when they did come he was glad to have found such a great friend in Jason. The man was right, no matter what happened, he was not obligated to go back to his old life or live his life by his old memories.

Part 2: Somebody That I Used to Know

#Ric Grayson #Jason Todd #Batman #batfic #batbros #batbros bonding #Ric Grayson needs a hug #Protective Jason Todd #Dick Grayson #batfamily #Ric's not that bad once you get to know him #my fics

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