#she has it at home as well and I’ve many times told her how amazing it is. also for roasting nuts etc

[pumpking64]

It’s the small things in life you guys…. My mum visited me earlier today for a few hours and it was so nice to just sit next to her and write on my exam and eat lunch together, but I had to leave the house long before her. And when I got back she had left me a tiny gift she had gotten in the city during the day, with a sweet note next to it <3 and I just love her so much

And as if that was not endearing enough, she left me an apple, an orange and a banana, clearly placed in the shape of a smiley. And I cannot imagine her doing that on accident <3

[starkwlkr]

bitch, i’m a mother! | f1

female driver x f1 drivers (platonic) i like that almost every story i read about a female driver her team ends up being porsche and I’m not mad about it :) so for this fic, the reader is driving for porsche lol also I’m just making up names for the engineers and team principal. also because I’m in love with charlie hunnam, my man is gonna make an appearance

part 1 part 3

Y/N BEING THE MOTHER OF EVERY DRIVER IN THE PADDOCK

“Y/n is so great, you’re going to love her. She’s the best.” Oscar listened to his new teammate as they walked into the Porsche hospitality. The rookie immediately felt out of place with him being the only one in papaya colors while Lando was in casual clothes.

“Hey, Lando!”

“Lando! How’s it going?”

“Norris, hey!”

Lando greeted most of the Porsche team with a smile while Oscar nodded at them. “I hang out here sometime if you couldn’t tell.” Lando joked.

“So if I can’t find you in Mclaren . . ”

“There’s a big chance I might be here.”

Oscar nodded once again. “Noted. Where’s Y/n?”

As if on cue, Y/n walked into the Porsche hospitality with her team principal by her side. Once she spotted Lando, she called out his name. As the Brit approached the driver and team principal, he gave her a big hug. It was the start of the 2023 season and they hadn’t seen each in a while, of course he was going to give her a hug.

“I’ll see you around, Y/n. Nice to see you, Lando, and you must be mclaren’s rookie. Welcome to F1, I’m Adam.” The Porsche team principal greeted Oscar.

“Thank you—” before Oscar could continue, Y/n cut him off.

“I’ve heard so many great things about you! And you’re an Aussie too! What is it with Mclaren and Aussies? Whatever, I’m glad you’re here, Oscar. I hope you enjoy yourself. Have you eaten yet? I was just in my way to get breakfast. Let me tell you a secret, the Porsche hospitality has the best food in the paddock.” Oscar instantly felt at home with the female driver. She had a comforting presence that Oscar immediately took notice of.

“Told you she’s the best. Just wait until it’s your birthday. She bakes you a cake.” Lando told Oscar.

The entire grid was together for their drivers briefing early in the morning. After going over every detail of the upcoming Grand Prix, the race director decided to let the drivers voice their concerns.

“Does anyone have any questions?”

Y/n raised her hand. “I wanna know who banned the pit wall celebration.”

“Anyone else?”

“Yeah, I’d like to know as well.” Lewis added.

“We can discuss pit wall celebrations at a later time. Excuse me, I am needed somewhere else.” The race director excused himself.

“Don’t worry, I don’t care about being banned. I’ll be there like a proud mom taking millions of pictures of you when you win.” Y/n whispered to Lewis as she layed her head on his shoulder.

“And I’ll be doing the same when you win.” Lewis replied.

“What about when I win? I also want millions of pictures taken of me and the exact same chocolate cake you baked for me for my birthday a year ago. Extra sprinkles please.” Lando smiled innocently.

“Fine, win first then I’ll bake. Shouldn’t be that hard unless you got a tractor for a car.” Y/n teased. “I love you, Lando. Of course I’ll take millions of pictures of you when you win.”

It was a perfect day to race in Silverstone. Like always, Lando had his family in attendance. He was in the mclaren garage when he spotted Y/n on one of the tvs being interviewed by Lissie.

“Hey, that’s my grid mum!” He told his engineer as if his engineer didn’t already know. His smile quickly faded when a blonde man appeared behind Y/n in sunglasses. Lando then watched as the man’s name appeared on the tv.

Charlie Hunnam, actor.

Who was he and why was he with his grid mom?

“Hey, that’s the dude from Sons of Anarchy! My wife watches that series.” Lando heared someone say. He continued to watch the screen as Lissie asked Charlie a question about Y/n.

“She’s incredible, absolutely amazing. I’m happy I finally get to see her talent in person.” Charlie replied, smiling at Y/n which made her blush.

“He’s British . . ” he mumbled.

After Lissie thanked Y/n and Charlie for the interview, the camera kept rolling on them as they walked away. That’s when Lando saw Charlie hold Y/n’s hand then pressed a kiss to the back of it.

“She’s dating a British man and she didn’t tell me?!”

Lando immediately walked out the garage and straight to the Porsche garage. He had a strong feeling Y/n would be showing her new lover around so he started there. He soon spotted the couple talking with the Porsche team principal, Adam.

“Oh, hey Lando! I was about to look for you. I want you to meet Charlie.” Y/n excused herself from Adam and introduced Charlie to her grid son.

“It’s very nice to meet you, mate. Y/n had told me a lot about you.” Charlie smiled.

“Yeah, I’ve heard nothing about you. Nada, zero, not a single thing, zilch.” Lando then turned his attention to Y/n. “I think we need to talk.”

“Okay . . ” Y/n said confused as she turned to Charlie to tell him she would be right back. Lando took her hand and dragged her to a corner away from Charlie. “Lando! What’s wrong? Are you nervous about today?”

“Why didn’t you tell me you had a boyfriend?”

Oh.

“You always tell me everything and now I kinda feel betrayed. Especially when i also found out he’s British!” Lando said dramatically.

“Lando, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but it just sorta happened. We met a few months ago and he’s made me the happiest ever since. I wanted to introduce you properly today.” Y/n explained.

“He makes you happy? Like genuinely happy? Because if he doesn’t I will run him over repeatedly.” Lando warned.

Y/n laughed and brought Lando in for a hug. “I know you would, but there’s no need for that. I think he’s the one.”

“Before you leave, there’s actually one more gift for you and you don’t have to guess who it’s from.”

Logan was confused, but happily accepted the gift. It was the annual F1 secret santa and he had just finished unwrapping his present. A gift wrapped perfectly with a blue bow was placed in front of him. The tag read ‘From Y/n’ in neat handwriting.

“Thank you, Y/n! I don’t even want to open it, it’s wrapped so good.” Logan chuckled.

Every year, anyone who got a nicely wrapped gift knew it was from Y/n. And any year that someone new entered the season, Y/n would give them a gift during secret santa. She did it for Lando, George, Alex, Charles, Yuki and Guanyu when they were rookies and now she was doing it for Logan and Oscar. She had even sent Nyck a present as well, she wished he was in the paddock doing secret santa as well though.

“Okay, I’ll open it, I’m too curious.” Logan finally unwrapped the present and saw it was a Miami Heat jersey singed by LeBron James. Logan almost freaked out when he saw the signature.

“Holy shit! Wait sorry, I can’t curse, but holy shit!” He took the jersey out of the box and admired it. “This is incredible.”

“You love it?” He heard the familiar comforting voice of Y/n from behind him. “I hope it’s the right size.” She joined Logan in front of the camera.

“It is, don’t worry,” he chuckled as he gave her a hug. “Thank you so much, I love it.”

“I think you just adopted another son.” The camera man told her.

“I love all my grid sons equally.”

[curawrites]

Babysitter

Mike Schmidt x Fem! Babysitter! Reader

Warnings: porn with some plot, kind of pervy Mike, lewd fantasies, cursing, making out, making out, fingering, p in v sex, protected sex.

Note: I’ve just awoken from the worst writers block ever because of this man. I haven’t actually watched the movie tho. 💚

Mike stared intently at the fuzzy security screens. His vision blurred from how hard his eyes were focusing and darting from one screen to another.

He shuts his eyes for a second before reopening them, his vision now clear.

Fuck he hated this job.

He hated the long hours, hated having to work the night shifts, hated having to stare at the stupid screens for hours on end, hated being terrified every night by the stupid animatronics.

He wanted his shift to be over immediately.

When the clock hit 6am he lets out a sigh of relief. His shift was finally over. He got up from his seat and hastily grabbed his things before booking it to his car.

He’s never wanted to leave the dingy pizzeria more. All he could think about was getting home and passing out in his bed.

Abby would be fast asleep by now and you’d probably be passed out on the couch.

He was so thankful to have found such a wonderful babysitter. You clicked soo well with Abby and you put up with his ungodly work hours.

You’re amazing with Abby, always making sure she has fun when you’re over.

Wether it was making a fort in the living room and watching Disney movies together, or drawing all of your’s and Abby’s favourite characters, or baking cookies or even going out to the nearby park, Abby would always tell Mike how much fun she had.

You also have a particular knack in getting her to eat all of her dinner and getting her in bed.

Mike had no idea how you could do it and asked you how you did it. You weren’t exactly sure about how you get her to eat but you told him that to get her to bed on time you made sure to tuck her in with her favourite plushy before reading her a bedtime story and she was out like a light.

Unfortunately, your methods didn’t quite work when he tried them.

Mike wished he was more well off so he could pay you fairly, but he doubts that he could get you to accept any kind of payment.

He had payed you in the beginning, of course, but he got behind on his payments due to some financial difficulties. You eventually found this out and refused any sort of payment from then on.

He’s half convinced that you’re an angel sent from heaven. You’re so understanding towards his situation and after working for him for many months you became an essential person in his and Abby’s life.

It took Mike a long time to admit to himself that he had a strong attachment towards you and even longer to admit that he liked you.

He couldn’t deny or brush off his feelings when after one shift, he found himself thinking about how he couldn’t wait to come home to you.

It startled him, how he could feel this way towards you, but it felt right to admit.

Mike didn’t realize it before but now, everything you do makes his heart flutter and his cheeks redden.

Those sweet playful smiles you flash him when you banter makes his heart skip a beat.

Every time you touch his arm reassuringly, or give him a gentle rub on the back or a hug he always gets goose bumps from just having you so close to him.

He wants to hold you closer, and for longer, just to keep feeling the warmth of your body against him. To feel your soft tits press against his chest.

God did he feel like a pervert, but he just can’t help himself. He finds you so god damn sexy and gorgeous.

His dirty fantasies of you had his cock growing hard in no time. He swears you’re teasing him, especially when you bend over in your tight jeans or shorts.

He can’t help but stare at your ass and imagine himself grabbing your hips and pressing his hard cock against the swell of your ass.

Or when he can see your hard nipples threw your shirt, all he can think about is sucking them until they’re hard and leaving them wet with his spit.

Fuck its was wrong, so so wrong to think of you that way. You’re just Abby’s baby sitter, he knew that, but he couldn’t stop his thoughts from running wild.

Mike took a deep breath as he stopped at a red light. He couldn’t keep having these thoughts about you. Especially not on the road.

He finally makes it home and parks beside your car in the driveway.

He enters his house as quietly as he can and closes the front door with extra care as to not make a ruckus.

“Mike?” You call out from where you’re laying on the couch.

“I’m home, Y/n.” he says quietly as he takes his shoes off.

“How was your shift?” You asked as you sat up and stretched, groaning quietly.

Mike clenches his jaw, the way you groaned sounded so sinful, “Awful. Like usual.” He said plainly and takes his vest off and throws it on a spare chair.

“Are you hungry? There’s Shepard’s pie in the oven for you if you want to eat. I can make you a plate” You offered as you got up from the couch and walked to the kitchen.

He stares at you, taking in the tight little grey pj set you’re wearing, before stuttering out, “Th-thanks, you really didn’t have to-“

“Mike. I need to make sure you eat to. Not just Abby.” You said as you grab an oven mit before opening the oven door.

Mike watched as you bent over to grab the dish. He watches your tight grey shorts ride up the swell of your ass, he can see the outline of your pussy as the material stretches over your crotch.

Fuck he was getting hard.

“I’m worried about you, you know..” you sighed as you made him a plate, “I don’t think this job is good for you.” You said as you handed him the plate and a spoon.

He swallows thickly as you come closer to him, “It’s fine- I’m just glad to have a job.”

He grabs his plate and spoon and sits down at the table.

You shook your head before sitting down next to him. “You know I’m here for you okay?” You say while rubbing his back.

“I know.” He nods before taking another spoonful of his food.

“Good.” You smile and stare at him sweetly.

Mike blushes, why do you have to look at him like that?

Your smile turns into a slight smirk upon noticing his blush, “Are you blushing?” You teased, trying to lighten the mood.

“No-“ he looks at you wide eyed.

You giggle, “Are you embarrassed?”

“No its just-“ his gaze flickers between you and his food.

“Just what, Mikey?” You ask, resting your cheek on your fist.

He could feel his face getting hotter at the nick-name you just uttered, “Your just..” he trails off staring at his food, poking at it with his fork.

You stare at him expectantly.

He really wants to tell you how he feels, but he doesn’t want to ruin your what you have.

He shakes his head, “It’s nothing.. never mind.” He looks away shyly.

“You can tell me.” You rub his arm trying to persuade him to tell you what’s on his mind.

Mike sighs through his nose and shuts his eyes, trying to compose himself, “You should have left when I got here..” he says as he abruptly gets up from his seat.

You watched as he put his dishes in the sink, “Probably, but I need to make sure you’re taken care of.” You stand up.

“There’s no need. I can take care of myself.” He says curtly as he walks past you.

“Mike..” you grab his arm, turning him around. “You’re worrying me.. did I say something wrong?”

He felt his heart clench at the way you were looking at him.

“No you didn’t. It’s just a me problem, Y/n.” He looks off to the side as he shakes his head.

“Are you sure Mike? I’m sorry if I did. I really don’t want to make you uncomfortable-“ You start to ramble.

“Y/n. Hey, hey, hey. Im not mad at you okay?” He says sternly. “I’m just- I have feelings for you okay.” He painfully admits. “And I know it’s wrong but-“

“I have feelings for you too Mike..” You proclaim, a blush decorating your cheeks.

The two of you stare at each other for a few seconds before you lean in and kiss his lips.

You pull way quickly, “sorry..” you whisper.

Mike grabs your cheek to pull you into a passionate kiss.

You’re surprised by this. You didn’t expect Mike to go in for another kiss let alone one so desperate, but you kiss him back none the less.

You wrapped your arms around his neck to pull yourself closer.

The hand on your cheek moves to rest with his other hand on your waist. His thumbs stroked small circles on your skin.

“Mike~” you whisper breathily and press your forehead against his.

He groans at the way you say his name. “Been wanting to do this for so long..~” he muttered before kissing you again.

“Mmm..me too~” You mumble against his lips.

He presses a kiss to the corner of your mouth before going down to suck and kiss at your neck. He leaves a trail of hickeys all over your neck and collar bones.

You slip your hands under his hoodie, “Mikey?~”

He shivers when your hands touch his bare torso, “Mm~ yes baby?”

“Can we..go to your room?” You manage to ask as Mike starts to get more touchy, his hands just inches from getting under your shirt.

It took a moment for him to process what you had requested and where the two of you were before he replied, “Oh- yeah.. yeah.” He says a bit flustered before picking you up and bringing you to his bedroom.

He lays you down on his plaid comforter and crawls on top of you.

“You’re so fucking gorgeous, Y/n~” he whispers as he takes you in laying on his bed.

Mike leans down to kiss you again, but more feverishly.

You clawed at his hoodie, trying to take it off as you made out.

“Mike- take it off please~” you pleaded.

He nods and takes his hoodie and the shirt he had underneath off in one swoop, leaving himself topless above you.

You bit your lip as your eyes raked over his bare chest. He looks so sexy panting above you with a lustful look in his eyes.

You squeezed your thighs together to ease the throbbing of your cunt and tangle your hands in his curls to pull him back down for a kiss.

“Baby..~” he mutters as you kept kissing each other, “let me take your top off..~” he asked, holding onto your shirt.

You whined, you didn’t want to stop kissing him. “Mkay~” you nod and put your arms up to help him out.

Mike takes your shirt off with ease and doesn’t waste anytime to grope your tits.

You gasp softly when he kisses the soft mounds and begins to suck on your right nipple.

The way he swirls his tongue around the soft bud made you moan.

You slap your hand over your mouth as he gives the other one the same treatment.

He pulled away from your nipple with a wet pop and kisses you once again.

“Need you Mike~” you mewl, as you grip his shoulder.

“Yeah?~” he said quietly.

You nod and try to push his pants down with you feet.

He pries your legs away from his hips and pulls your gray shorts off.

You let your legs fall open, completely revealing yourself to Mike.

His jaw drops at the sight of your glistening pussy. His cock couldn’t possibly get any harder.

“Fuck..~” he curses, “You have such a pretty pussy~” he licks his lips.

You blush and squirm a bit. You felt so vulnerable under his gaze.

“I need you Mike~” you reiterated desperately.

“I need you too baby.. so so fucking bad-“ he says as he fumbles with his belt.

He hastily takes his pants off and grabs his wallet out on the front pocket.

You watched as he rummaged through his wallet until he pulls out a condom.

He throws his wallet and pants to the side before ripping the foil open.

You quietly fingered yourself as you watched Mike roll the rubber onto his hard cock.

You took your fingers out of your cunt and reached forward to give Mike’s cock a few pumps using your slick as lube.

He groans, “Fuck baby.. that feels good..~” and smashes his lips against yours.

You wrap your arms around his back and your legs around his hips, “C’mon Mike~ I need you inside~” you whispered.

His dick twitched at your words. He lines the head of his cock to your slick entrance and pushes it inside.

“Oh.. fu-..Y/n~” Mike groans.

Your pussy is so warm and wet. It had been so long since he last had sex, he had to stop himself from cumming right away.

“Y/n you feel so good~” he mutters as he began to thrust into you.

You moan and tighten the hold your legs had on his hips, pulling him closer into your warmth.

Mike couldn’t stop himself from whining in pleasure as he thrusted faster into you.

“Gotta be quiet Mikey~” you whispered, pulling him into a kiss to quiet your noises.

He groans into your mouth and busies his hands by toying with your nipples.

“Keep.. doing that please~” you moaned quietly.

The way his thrusts were angled allowed his pubic bone to rut against your clit, and the head of his cock to repeatedly press against your g-spot.

You clawed at his back, trying to hold onto him while bliss over took you.

“Mikey!~ Mike!~ M’gonna cum!” You moan.

“Gonna.. cum too baby..~” he huffs, and reaches down to rub your clit.

“Oh fuck~ m’cumming!” You cry out.

Mike lifts his head out the crook of your neck to look at you while you came.

The mix of your blissed out face and the fluttering of your cunt pushes him to climax.

He moans as he cums, whimpering your name quietly as he fills the condom with his seed.

It takes a while before Mike pushes himself off of you to pull out. You whined in protest, you felt so empty without his cock inside of you.

He takes the condom off and disposes of it in his bathroom.

When he returns, you both get under the covers of his bed, and cuddle in your post-sex bliss.

You’re stroking his messy curls as you’re both falling asleep, when suddenly you’re rudely interrupted by Mike’s alarm.

His alarm to wake up to get Abby ready for school.

The end

[the-maw-consumes]

“Have you…ever been in love?” 

Steve blinked. That…wasn’t what he was expecting. Still, there’s only one definitive answer. 

“Yep,” he answers, popping the ‘p’. “Nancy Wheeler. First semester, senior year.” His mimicked gunshot doesn’t even cover how that felt, but he does it anyway. 

“Oh my god,” he hears from the other side, “She’s such a priss.”

Nancy Wheeler is a lot of things; priss, she is not. And maybe she doesn’t need him to defend her, but, still, he hums, “Turns out, not really.” 

Robin scoffs as if that’s unbelievable, and maybe it could be. Then, she asks, “Are you still in love with Nancy?”

No, is the first thought in his mind. And, well, it’s strange to think his answer would’ve been different at the beginning of the year, as much as he’d told himself he’d moved on back then. But, the months in between have just made him realize that how he feels for her has changed a lot since October. He loves her, of course he does, and he’ll never really get over her. But, he doesn’t think he’ll ever love her like he did again.

So, after a moment, he says, “No.”

Then, of course, she asks the question he’s been avoiding thinking about: “Why not?” 

There’s a lot of answers to that question, but Steve…well, he knows the one that’s most responsible, even if it’s been thrown to the back of his mind. He’s never really brought it to the light of day before—if bathroom lights could be called that. But there’s just something about this moment, sitting with Robin on a probably disgusting bathroom floor with his mind still kinda floating, that makes him feel like it’s safe here. They just went through hell—there wasn’t a better time, right?

“I think,” he starts, “it’s because I found someone who’s a little better for me.” He huffs a laugh, “It’s funny, you know? Ever since Dustin got home, he’s been saying, like, you gotta find your Suzie, you gotta find your Suzie.” 

“Wait, who’s Suzie?”

“It’s some girl from camp, I guess his girlfriend. To be honest with you, I'm not 100% sure she's even real.” Steve shakes his head and kinda wishes he’d thought up a better analogy. “But that’s not really the point. Uh, the point is…I think I already found my Suzie. You know—this person is someone I didn’t even talk to in school, and I don’t know why. Maybe Tommy H. would’ve made fun of me, or I wouldn’t be…prom king. It’s stupid.” He sighs. “I mean, Dustin’s right, it’s all a bunch of bullshit anyways. I should’ve been hanging out with this person the whole time. I wish I did. I mean, they’re so cool and hilarious—I feel like, the past few months, I’ve laughed harder than I have in a long time. And they’re smart, and a dork, but so passionate—you know, they can talk on and on about so many things, it’s amazing.” Captivating, really, but the second it takes to reminisce about those moments are enough to make him realize he’s been rambling for like, minutes, and he’s gotta stop at some point. So, “They’re honestly unlike anyone I’ve ever even met before.”

Steve smiles to himself for a second, his head still feeling a little flighty—but the silence keeps dragging on beyond that. The smile falls a bit, and Steve really hopes he was careful enough with his words. He really hopes he can trust Robin if he wasn’t. 

“Robin?” Steve taps on the stall wall between them, the sound echoing through the bathroom. When the silence just gets heavier, it’s with genuine concern that he asks, “Robin, did just OD in there?” 

“No.” He breathes a sigh of relief, then hears it echoed, though weighted, from the other side. “I…am still alive.” 

Still, there’s something so heavy in her tone, and a visual confirmation that she is alive becomes essential for him. So, shuffling over to grip the wall between them, Steve slides underneath the stall and lands a little to the left of where she sits, alive and breathing. She smiles a bit.

“The floor’s disgusting.” He huffs and glances down at the sailor uniform that has (probably) seen better. “Yeah, well. I already got a bunch of blood and puke on my shirt, so…” 

She breathes a bit of a laugh, and, at the very least, some of the heaviness is gone. Alive and breathing. 

“What do you think?” he asks her, almost intentionally vague. 

“About?”

“Am I in love with Nancy Wheeler?” 

“No,” she grants. Then, very decidedly, “But, I think you’re on drugs and not thinking clearly.” 

And the look she gives him feels too significant, too weighted, and he really, really hopes he was careful because the possibility he wasn’t is starting to loom over him. He can’t argue that his mind was in stellar shape a few minutes ago, and everything she’s done since then is just working to form a pit of dread in his stomach. It feels like wishful thinking to consider that nothing she’s said has been outwardly accusing, but it’s still there.  

Why did he have to say so much? 

No, no, right. The drugs. Robin may be right, he probably wasn’t thinking clearly. And, damn it, this may not be entirely his fault but he does not want the repercussions for it. 

“Well, I think I’m thinking pretty clearly now.” Wishful thinking, it is. 

“You’re not.” Somehow, her expression feels like an echo of his own worries. “Steve,” she starts, and the dread gets worse, “you’re not thinking clearly about this. Look, you don’t even know this person—” Wait, what? “and if you did know them, like, really know them—I don’t think you’d even want to be their friend.” 

Steve blinks. That—That’s what she was talking about? How did she even know who he was talking about? He shakes his head, honestly baffled. “Wait, what? That’s not true.” 

She speaks again before he could ask what about everything he said was so revealing, “Listen to me, Steve. It’s shocked me to my core, but I like you—” Harsh. “I really like you. But I’m not like your other friends. And I’m not like Nancy Wheeler.” 

Well, Steve thought he was thinking clearly, but he is lost. Somehow, this conversation has escaped him within the span of two seconds, and the moment feels wrong to ask how they got here. But, if he’s going to take any guess at her meaning, he much prefers thinking she’s…supportive, maybe. Indifferent, even. So, he doesn’t think of the ball of dread winding through his chest, and he tries to follow what Robin may be saying. “Robin, that’s exactly why I like you.” 

And that is the truth, really. He’s never had a friend like her, if they could be considered friends. This summer has carved a small space for her in Steve’s heart, and the past few days have done numbers on expanding that space. She’s funny and smart and definitely not like Nancy Wheeler, wherever that came from. And he really doesn’t want to lose her, not right now. If they get out of this, he wants to be her friend. He wants to know her better than ice cream shifts can tell him. 

Robin scoffs lightly as if that’s not what she needed to believe him. “Do you remember what I said about Click’s class? About me being jealous and, like, obsessed?”

“Yeah?” He nods slightly. 

“It isn’t because I had a crush on you,” she says, slowly, as if a plea to make him understand. He doesn’t. “It’s because…” she continues, hesitant in her words, and he desperately wants to know how to make this better because his heart breaks for the expression she has. Then, quickly, like ripping off a bandaid, “...she wouldn’t stop staring at you.” 

He blinks. “Mrs. Click?” 

A breath of a laugh at that, but her eyes plant themselves on the wall. She clarifies, almost resigned, “Tammy Thompson. I wanted her to look at me. But…she couldn’t pull her eyes away from you and your stupid hair.” She looks back at him, with watery eyes. “And I didn’t understand because you would get bagel crumbs all over the floor and you would ask dumb questions and you were a douchebag!” She shakes her head lightly and he really is trying to understand. “And…And you didn’t even like her, and I would go home and just…scream into my pillow.”

Steve stares for a second, trying to will his brain back into place, his thoughts to something clear, because something is being said here, something important and—

The puzzle pieces click together.

Oh. 

Oh!

“Holy shit.” 

“Holy shit,” she echoes.

Unwillingly, Steve laughs. A bark of laughter just bursting out of him because, jesus-–this entire situation is so botched. But her face falls and he immediately stops in a wave of guilt and throws himself at reassuring her. “No, no, that’s not what I meant! I didn’t mean to do that.” 

Robin looks away again, shrugs. “It’s fine.”

No, that won’t do. Steve shakes his head, vehemently, and taps her hand. “No, Robin, seriously—there’s been a huge misunderstanding here. I don’t have a crush on you.”

That makes her look back at him, eyebrows furrowed “What?”

“I think you’re awesome, Robin, and super cool and smart. I really want to be friends with you, seriously. But I wasn’t talking about you.” And Steve could stop there, but she just revealed…herself to him and he owes it to her to do the same. He knows how terrifying that is. “I was— Jesus.” He laughs again, brushes a hand down his face. And, still, knowing about her doesn’t make it any less terrifying to say it out loud. “I was talking about, um,” Like a bandaid, right? “...Eddie Munson.”

Her eyebrows seem to go to her hairline, but he celebrates the light that’s back in her eyes. “What.”

“Yeah, we uh—” There’s warmth in his cheeks. This is the first time he’s saying any of this out loud. “I don’t know how it happened, but we ran into each other one day and just started talking and…like, hit it off, super surprisingly. It’s crazy, he wasn’t even on my radar back then and now he’s—” Steve cuts himself off before he can start rambling again, rubs the back of his neck. “I really like him. I was talking about him.”

Robin grins. “Holy shit.” She shakes her head, repeats, “Holy. Shit,” enunciating, as if for good measure. He matches her grin.

“I had no idea what you were talking about.” He explains, “I mean, maybe I don’t really know Eddie, but how do you know that? And then you started talking about Mrs. Click’s…” he mimics an explosion in his head. “I thought the drugs completely fried my brain.” 

She laughs, finally, her head falling back onto the wall, and he can’t help but follow her lead. It’s a good few moments before they stop, Robin suddenly sobering to hold a hand, saying “Wait, wait, Eddie Munson? You’re hanging out with drug dealer, total nerd, band dweeb Eddie Munson?” 

“Hey, hey, I didn’t say you could criticize my taste, Miss Tammy Thompson.” 

She scoffs, sounding just a bit offended, “What’s wrong with Tammy?”

“I mean, she’s cute and all but she’s a total dud.” 

“She is not!”

. . .

[cameronspecial]

Maybe high school/college au where rafe is in a group of bullies that always picks on reader, However he tries to tell them to stop every time but one day he sees her crying in the bathroom at a Halloween party because his friends told her costume was ugly and it made her look fat, he gets super mad and he yell at them and beat the shit out of his ex friend for calling her fat, after he brings her back home and she ask him why he cared and he says something like “I’ve liked you since first day of second grade in middle school when you came in class with your little bow in your hair” 🥰🥰

Shit Friends

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x Reader

Warnings:  Swearing, Use of Fat In Deragotory Way, and a Fight.

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 0.6K

Masterlist

Y/N has been excited about Marissa’s Halloween party for weeks. Her Halloween costume is a beautiful white dress that she worked all month to sew. She is going to the party as a bride and the dress is a reflection of what she wants her wedding dress to look like one day. She is so proud of her costume. Her hand grips the solo cup and she bops her head to the music. She feels their presence behind her like an ulcer she knows is there but can’t feel. Her head doesn’t turn in their direction, trying to ignore them. “Look at this boys, this fat fuck thinks someone is going to want to marry her. Not only is her dress ugly, but her face looks like a cow,” Marshall snarls, pulling back her head by her veil. Her tears come up her tear ducts and she feels how her hair pulls back with his action. Oliver shakes his head, “Nah, Marsh. She looks like a whale. I don’t know how anyone could want to marry her.” Their insults can’t continue because someone else enters the room, allowing her to make her escape to the bathroom.

——

After one too many beers, Rafe finally has to break his bladder seal and go to the bathroom. He tries the door but is met with resistance from the lock. His hand knocks on the door yet no one answers. He knows someone is in there because he can hear movement inside. His ear presses to the door and he can make out the cries of a girl. “I know you are in there. Please, let me in. I got to pee,” Rafe calls out. 

Y/N recognizes his voice. Of course, she would. Not only is Rafe one of the most popular boys at school, but he is friends with her serial tormentors. Rafe is never around when the other boys bully her, yet she still doesn’t know if she can trust him. She feels bad though that he needs to pee so she unlocks it for him. He hears the lock turn and opens the door. Even though he has to pee, he pauses when he sees Y/N. Her costume looks absolutely amazing. He can tell the dress is handmade because of how well it suits her body and some of the embroidery looks hand-stitched. It looks incredible. His mind can’t help imagining her walking down the aisle to him at the end of it. He remembers he heard the cries of the person behind the door and since she is the one in the bathroom, he knows she has been crying. His eyes find hers to see her makeup running down her face, close to ruining her dress. 

He abandons his need to pee and rushes to her side. “Who made you cry?” he questions with anger at that person in his voice. She tries to keep it a secret, but he keeps prying. Finally, she snaps, “It was Marshall and Oliver. They said my dress was ugly and made me look like a fat whale.” Just like she thought he would, Rafe leaves without a care for what she said. 

The yelling is what catches her attention, so she goes outside to find Rafe punching Marshall and Oliver in the face. “Never. Say. Those. Words. To. Y/N. Again. Understand?” Each word he said was punctuated by a hit to his face. He looks up at her, shaking out his hand. “Why do you care enough about what they said to hurt them like that, Rafe?” “Y/N, I’ve liked you since the first day of second grade in elementary school. You came into class with your little embroidered bows at the end of your two braids. I was mesmerized by how good you were at sewing,” he confesses and takes a step closer to her. She is still a little confused, “But they're your friends.” “Eh, I’ve got shit friends. But who needs them when I hopefully have you?” he states, rushing toward her to kiss her. She lets her lips meet his and he feels like his dreams are coming true. 

Taglist: @winterrrnight @loves0phelia

[darlingmbappe]

Family Man | Kylian Mbappé x Fem Reader

Summary: Your husband is feeling a bit nervous about staying home alone with your daughter for the first time. When you ease his worries, he thanks you the best way he can, but then surprises you with a big request.

Warnings: SMUT! Oral (female receiving), romantic sex, breeding kink, Kylian being a simp kinda, cussing, not checked for spelling/grammar errors. Let me know if I missed anything! — English is not my first language —

“Charlotte is finally down.” Kylian sighed from the doorway of your bedroom, trudging over to his side of the bed.

You smiled up from your novel as you watched him crawl on top of the comforter, laying his head on your arm and cuddling at your side. “She’s a piece of work, that girl.” You chuckle.

Kylian breaks out a grin, thinking about his wonderful three year old baby girl. “Wonder who she got it from…”

“Ha!” You set your book down on your lap, tilting your head down to look at him. “You’re joking. Kylian, You’re the biggest piece of work there is.”

He chucked into your shoulder and flipped on his stomach to be face to face with you, heavy leg comfortably draped over your thigh. “But you love us both.”

“So much.” You leaned over and kiss him sweetly, setting aside the now bookmarked novel on your nightstand. “Don’t know how I put up with you, though.”

“Well, you’re gonna get a little break from us this week.” He spoke and glances over at your packed suitcase sitting by the door. You sensed the tinge of nervousness in his sentence and put a reassuring hand on the back of his head.

“I’ll only be gone a week, Ky.” You comfort, tracing the structure of his brow bones gently with your forefinger. He leans into your touch, humming softly before burying his head in your neck. Clearly somethings on his mind.

“I know. It’s just…” he turns, wrapping an insecure arm around your waist to hold you closer, “I’ve never been alone with her for that long. Not for a week straight.” You scratched his back softly, allowing him to melt into you more. “I mean, what if she gets bored and I run out of things to do? Or what if she doesn’t like the activities I have planned for us? What if she breaks a leg or something on my watch?”

“Baby…” you coo, grabbing his chin between your thumb and knuckle so he’s look up at you. His big brown eyes showed his apprehensiveness, almost begging for you not to leave in the morning. “You know you’re an amazing dad, right?” He nods sheepishly, but you understood where this insecurity came from.

When Charlotte was born, it was at the beginning of the season. He did his best to take as many days off as he could, wanting nothing more than to be with you and his newborn baby girl. Though his efforts were much appreciated, you were still left alone with her many times, sometimes for days on end. It’s was through no fault of his own and you knew that, always reassuring him that you understood his responsibilities as a major world renowned athlete. Of course you’d love for him to be there with both of you 24/7, but it’s not something you would ever hold against him.

He was deep in thought and you could practically hear him overthinking the next seven days, coming up with every worst-case-scenario possible. “I was nervous the first time I was alone with Char, too.” You said softly. “It’s scary, I get it. But, I know you two will have the best time. Whatever you have planned, she’ll love it because she’ll get to do it with you.”

His lips curled up, staring back in adoration. “You think?”

You nod enthusiastically. “Of course. She’s so excited to be with just you. When I told her, it actually kind of hurt how happy she was.”

This made Kylians whole face break out in a wrinkled smile. “Yeah?”

Of course he loved that, his competitive nature trumping his sense of humility. “Oh yeah.” You grin. “She’s dying for some alone time with daddy.”

“And you?”

You furrow your brows. “Me?”

“Mhm.” He shifts to hover over you lazily. “You need some alone time with daddy?” The smirk he gave you sent a rush through your body.

Your arms wrap around his neck as he puts his legs on either side of you, nudging your nose with his. God, this man just has a way about him. The way he looks at you consistently makes your stomach erupt in butterflies, even after all these years.

“Cheeky, cheeky boy.” You tusk, leaning up only slightly, teasing a kiss on his wanting lips. “What does daddy have to offer?”

“Whatever you want. I’m yours.” He touched his forehead to yours, you slowly lifted your chin to touch your lips to his.

Starting off gently, he breathed in deep through his nose, savoring this moment. Having a toddler, it’s hard to find time to be intimate when they’re always around. Always.

But, it kind of makes the sex way hotter… way more anticipated.

He pokes his tongue in and you opened up immediately, suddenly desperate for some action. He began moving his hips over the thick duvet you laid under, giving himself some relief, but you needed that layer gone. You began tugging at it desperately, Kylian got the hint. He sat up, tossing aside the blanket and stared down at your sleep attire, humming to himself and licking his lips.

“You’re so sexy.” He grumbled, now looking at you with nothing except love and lust. Your hardened nipples poked through your white scrunched up shirt, displaying your lower half for Kylians pleasure. The pink cotton panties you wore had a little rose engraved on the front, sending your husbands brain into a spiral as he started crawling down your body involuntarily. “I’m the luckiest man alive.”

He made it down to where you needed him, a gentle touch on you thighs opening your legs. You didn’t need much coercion from him, knowing the usual rhythm of this sort of thing. Being with him for so long meant you knew each other patterns and needs.

“I get a goodbye gift?” You teased once he situated himself between your legs, big hands moving your knees upward toward your chest.

Instead of responding, he placed a meaningful kiss to your covered core, looking up at you, wanting to watch every reaction he persuaded out of you. He stiffened his tongue, poking at your clit methodically before biting the fabric and clipping his thumbs underneath the seams. Slowly, he slid them over your legs, his eyes glued to how your pussy reveled himself to him, already glistening.

“I already told you, bébé. I’ll give you whatever you want.” He mumbled in a trance, only looking up when you whined at his lack of movement. “You gotta tell me, bébé. What do you want?”

“Don’t be a dick.” You poked with a pouty giggle, jutting your needy hips toward his mouth. He splayed his hands over your middle, holding you down. “Just eat me out, Mbappé.”

“Always so bossy.” He jeered, but lined his mouth up anyways, purposely blowing out a sigh on your pulsing core before flattening his tongue on you. Your eyes rolled back, keeping your moan quiet with a hard lips bite as he continued to work his muscle, lapping up and down, focusing on the bundle of nerves at the peak.

“Always taste so sweet, bébé.” He praised, dragging his fingers down your hips, feeling the goosebumps he’s creating on your soft familiar skin. The feeling of his lips moving against your cunt made you grip the sheets until your knuckles turned white.

You looked down at your husband between your legs, eyes closed, seemingly hypnotized and focused solely on pleasuring you.

Without warning, he poked his tongue in and out of your needy hole, making you gasp at the sensation. “Shit, oh god.” You gasp. A quick hand made it’s way behind his head, pressing him further into you. He stuck it in as far as it would go out of his mouth, circling and wiggling around, feeling your pulsating walls. He moved a hand from your hip and dragged his forefinger agonizingly slowly on your clit.

“Let me show you how much I’ll miss you.” He muffled, the vibration of his voice making you moan out.

“Please.” You begged, watching him with hooded eyes. His finger dipped lower and lower, tapping on your sensitive nub to make you jolt. It made him laugh, obsessed with the sight of you squirming under his touch.

He teased his middle finger in before inserting two inside of you. Kylian was always one for foreplay, eager to make it the best experience for the both of you. That’s so hot.

You were a moaning mess, hot and bothered as he curled his fingers up, his mouth attached to your pussy like a man starved. His eyes were now wide open and gazing up at you, your chest heaving, your back arching, your quiet moans singing in his ears like a melody. It was all too much for him as he began humping the bed in desperation. Getting to see what he can turn you into could have made him cum on the spot, but he wanted to cum inside of you. He needed to cum inside of you.

You whimpered when he detached his mouth, wiping his glistening face with the back of his hand. “You’re fucking amazing, mon amour. I love you so much.”

You’d gone off the pill years ago before you got pregnant with Charlotte and hadn’t gone back, relying on condoms and quick reflexes. You’d talked about having more kids in the future, but not recently enough to prepare you for what your husband said next.

“Let me put another baby in you.”

Your breathing was heavy, but it stopped for a moment out of shock. The look on his face was completely serious as he crawled up on top of you, lifting your shirt enough to reveal your boobs, tweaking your nipples between his fingers.

You swallowed the noises threatening to spill out of you throat, staring into the eyes of the man you’ve adored for so many years — the eyes that were practically heart shaped whenever he caught even a glance at you.

“Let me get you pregnant.” He repeated and dipped his head in your neck, trailing a soft path of kisses upward until he reached your mouth, lingering there a little longer. He leaned into your ear, giving it the gentlest bite before whispering. “Remember how I couldn’t keep my hands off of you?” His hands roamed down to your stomach, caressing it like he used to do. “You looked so fucking hot with my baby inside of you.”

You couldnt help but smile, feeling your heart beat faster for him. “What about the mood swings?” He kissed behind your ear.

“Don’t mind them.” He kissed your jaw.

“My feet swell pretty bad.”

He kissed your cheek. “I give great foot rubs.”

“Cravings?”

“I’ll get you anything you want.” He placed the last kiss on the corner of your mouth, pulling back to stare into your eyes, wiping away any stray hairs that fell onto your face.

You sighed up at him. “You think we’re ready?”

He finally landed his kiss on your lips, breathing you in like you were a drug. “I know I am. So, what do you say, bébé?”

Kylian was the worlds best dad and even had three Father’s Day mugs to prove it. He was attentive and loving and caring and wanted nothing but the absolute best for his family. For your family.

“Let’s make a baby.” As soon as those words left your lips he kissed you deeply. You both smiled into the kiss, attempting to pucker but failing, eventually just giggling into each other, hugging tightly. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”He hummed, standing up and shedding his joggers and boxers, revealing the main attraction.

God, the way you salivated at the sight of him was almost embarrassing. You’d worried about what marriage would do to your sex life, especially after having a baby, but Kylian always made you feel so sexy. He flirted with you constantly, found every possible way to make you squirm. You found that the longer your with him, the more things you discover about him that make you adore him more. Want him more.

You adjusted yourself as he slotted above you, your legs wrapped around his middle as you traced his collarbone. The shift from how the night started to now made your head spin. You couldn’t believe that you’d decided to start trying again out of the blue like this, but knew in your heart that you wanted this too.

He lined himself up, prodding you open slowly to let you adjust to his massive size.

“Oh, fuck Kylian.” You breathe, grabbing his face sweetly as your eyebrows knit together. He loved the faces you made when he was inside you — missionary being his favorite position.

He moved his hips until he was all the way in, waiting for your cue for him to continue. It didn’t take long, it never did. When you nodded at him, he began thrusting, his pace slow as if every movement was personal and meaningful. You loved the stretch he gave you, feeling every ridge, every curve.

This type of sex is Kylians favorite. Sure, he’ll take you roughly, spank you until he can see a mark. He loved the feeling of having his hand wrapped around your throat, or thrusting into you with such speed and force that it makes your legs wobble the next day. But something about the steady pace, the perfect rhythm, the eye contact, holding your hand, getting to kiss you like it would transfer the love he kept in his heart to yours... getting to take you in piece by piece was the most thrilling thing he’s found in his lifetime. Having the pleasure of holding your hand, listening to your whimpers and quiet “ah, ah”s was like a drug. He was undeniably addicted to you. Obsessed with every inch of your being. He couldn’t think of a more personal way to show the woman he loved how much he means to him. No amount of money could buy this type of intimacy.

“You’re so beautiful.” He mumbles, reaching down to intertwine your hands, in need of feeling more of you. “I can’t imagine my life without you.” Your heart was melting at his words, his dilated pupils absorbing every inch of your face. His rhythm was hypnotic. Your needs begged for him to go faster, harder, to take you roughly… but your heart outweighed those thoughts. Though slow, it was the most romantic sex you’ve had in a while. “Cant believe I got you. I can’t believe I get to love you forever.”

He spoke sweetly, his breath fanning your face with his words and pants. The knot in your stomach tightened, making you squeeze your legs around his middle. “You’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met.” You whimpered, somehow forming coherent sentences through the intense pleasure. “I love you, Kylian.”

He slotted his face in your neck, breathing heavier than before, hoping your skin would muffle the sinful moan that erupted from his mouth. His thrusts kept the same speed, but faltered slightly. “God, bébé. I’m gonna cum.”

You hugged him tightly against you. “Me too.” The feeling of his pelvic bone continuously rubbing against your clit and the slight tug and push of his member inside of you was consuming your every sense. “Fuck, Kylian.”

You dig your teeth into the skin of his shoulder or else you’d have screamed in pleasure, waking up the innocent little toddler just a few rooms down. The knot popped, making your toes curl, the bliss of it all creating spots in your vision. You came hard as Kylians thrusts continued at a slightly faster pace.

He kissed your cheek, seeking his own release — it didn’t take long to find it upon feeling your walls quivering around him. “Ah, dieu.” He moaned. “I’m cumming.” He panted, hissing and squeezing your hand as he looked into your hooded eyes. He bit his lip hard to keep quiet, breathing harshly through his flared nostrils.

He came down, his arms giving way as he laid on top of you to catch his breath. He hugged you so close, kissing your lips sweetly. He lifted himself to stop crushing you, matching your smile before he began to slowly thrust again.

“Shit, Ky!” You whisper yell, gasping at the overstimulation.

He hissed but continued his movements. “Gotta make sure it sticks, bébé.”

After three more thrusts, he stops and pulls out of you gently, laying his exhausted body next to you. He dipped his hand down and held yours, bringing it to his face to kiss it and kept it held at his lips. He looked at you as if you were a queen, a goddess.

“You think Char will be happy if we give her a baby brother or sister?” You wonder, laying on your back because you read that staying there for fifteen minutes after sex heightens your chances of getting pregnant.

“I don’t know… eventually. I think she loves being spoiled.” He grinned. It was true, Charlotte squealed every-time Kylian got home with something for her. Whether it was cupcake or a a tiny Tiffany necklace, she loved getting gifts.

“And who’s fault is that?”

Kylian made a guilty whatever face. His favorite thing in the world was getting to spoil his petite princesse.

Kylian places your hand on his chest, just above his heart. The stare he gave you was weakening, dibilitating, so full of raw emotion. You felt it thumping under your palm, knowing he meant that his heart was in your hands. You leaned over and snuggled into his side, kissing his cheek and keeping your hand on his heart. His heart rate picked up instantly, earning an earth shattering, lovey dovey grin from you.

Whatever the future holds, the family you’ve created with Kylian stands on strong pillars of love and loyalty. Having someone who you can trust blindly is the key to a life full of wonderful moments, and Kylian takes on that role with pride — absolutely devoted to creating the happiest life for his two princesses. You and Charlotte really are the luckiest girls alive… and with the possible addition of another family member, you might just get even luckier.

A/N: wrote this between classes today to give y’all a little something because my school is nearing midterms so I gotta crack down with studying. Thanks for reading! Also I didn’t spell check or grammar check this very thoroughly so I apologize for any mistakes <3

[camilaxmartin]

Sorry to send another request! But this one is for Carmilla instead of Rosie. Maybe Zestial could introduce his friend or sister to Carmilla and she sticks around after meetings to chat/flirt with her? You can make as many changes as you like! I hope you're well x

beautiful?

navigation // rules // masterlist

summary: literally the request beside the fact i made it only about one of their meetings, zestial!friend!reader

warnings: make out session, cursing but i’m not so sure abt it

notes: I WAS SO SCARWS ABOUT THIS ONE BUT EVENTUALLY I LOVE HOW IT TURNED OUT!! hope you don’t mind i made them like this already on the first meeting but it just kinda happened:)

requests: open!!

you were a good friend of zestial for… as long as you can remember honestly. you two were always understanding each other and literally wherever he went, you went as well. when hell started gaining more and more overlords you two became sort of friends with alastor and always looked forward to meeting up with that strange deer man. the only person you haven’t actually met was carmilla carmine, zestial wanted you to meet her many times already but fate wanted it that you always had something else planned while he was meeting with her. at some point he started wondering if you just didn’t want to meet her but you reassured him that when another meeting with all the overlords will be thrown, you’ll go with him and finally meet her.

and there we were.

the day of the meeting.

you were running through the darkness of the cave looking for something to wear feeling your anxiety rising up more than it has usually. you groaned finding an old and dirty dress throwing it away and running to another hall of the cave in a search for something at least acceptably good. zestial appeared from the shadows next to you scaring you to your second death as he slowly tilted his head watching you.

“i’ve told you a milion times not to do that!” you groaned punching his legs as it was the only thing of his body that you could reach. his smiled widened at you as he looked around noticing the mess you’ve made in both of yours house. you knew each other so long there wasn’t a reason for you to split into separate homes when this cave was big enough for more than you two. zestial didn’t even flinch at your punch and his eyes started glowing more.

“what’s the problem lief? wherefore art thee in such a sweaty haste?” he asked as his smile widened even more like he already knew the answer. you groaned again and shook your head.

“i don’t have anything presentable to wear. i don’t want to be overdressed but also underdressed. it’s an overlords meeting after all. it’s been a while since i’ve been to one” you explained and groaned once more as zestial gently put one of his hands onto your shoulder.

“don’t thee w'rry, whatev'r thee weareth shall beest fine. nay one actually pays attention to what we’re wearing” he said softly and squeezed your shoulder gently, smiling down at you. you grabbed his hand with yours and smiled to him as well. zestial then narrowed his four eyes slightly and his smile turned into more of a smirk. “and t won’t affect carmilla’s first impression of thee” he added and you pushed his hand away noticing his implication.

“oh stop! i don’t want to impress her i just… you’ve told me so many amazing things about her what she is and what not and i don’t want to make a fool out of myself in front of her… or anyone! for that matter” you mumbled and zestial laughed softly at your words shaking his head as he walked over to a huge wardrobe in the room you two were talking in.

“you’ll beest fine. if 't be true you’ll alloweth me i wouldst chooseth this f'r the present day.” he said taking out one of your dresses that was more on the comfortable side than the presentable one. “carmilla shall appreciateth thy professionalism” he added and smiled at the mention of his friend. you rolled your eyes at him and grabbed the dress out of his hand looking at it while tilting your head.

“you really think i should choose this one?” you asked and he just nodded his head disappearing into the shadows again to give you some privacy to change. you groaned but decided to go with his choice, picking out some accessories for it, to try and make it look less plain.

you sighed looking at your reflection on the cave’s wall as it was made from clear quartz. you smiled to yourself and chuckled actually enjoying how you finally looked. zestial appeared behind you and smiled at your sight as well looking you up and down.

“thee behold ravishing, the lady shall loveth to meeteth thee” he said and took out his hand for you to hold as you needed to leave the cave now not to be late. with a wide smile, you took his hand and let him lead you out of the cave, grabbing some jacket on your way out so you wouldn’t get cold later.

you two met up with alastor on your way to the carmine’s property. alastor greeted you both with a wide smile (as usual) and complimented your outfit stating that he’s surprised you’d even dress up for something like this. maybe it wasn’t a full compliment after all, but you decided not to worry about him, after all he’s always been like that. as you reached the top floor, you were met with other overlords gathering for the meeting as well. rosie almost immediately walked over to alastor as she gave you a soft smile.

you smiled back and walked with zestial to the room in which the meeting was about to take place. zestial sat down in a chair close to the projector and you sat down next to him, alastor being on your other side. you started fidgeting with your fingers a bit waiting for the meeting to start and zestial put one of his hands onto yours trying to keep you calm.

as the meeting finally began you saw a demoness walking into the room with two smaller ones on both of her sides. your eyes immediately noticed her huge horns which only after starring at them for a while looked more like hair than actual horns. one of the girls that walked with her tilted her head noticing you sitting where you had, but she just shrugged it off and sat down next to the other one without making a scene about it. you almost didn’t catch it as you were still starring at the beautiful demoness in front of you. she had a stoic expression on her face as her eyes scanned the room and noticed you and zestial. her head tilted slightly yet her expression changed into a more pleasant one as she walked over to zestial.

“glad you’re here” she said to him with a smile as he gave her one back. you tried to stay calm.

“always a pleasure, carmilla” he responded and her smile widened even more. her eyes then moved onto you and literally read you off of your face yet she didn’t utter a word to you. her face went back to that stoic peace as she started the meeting explaining why she gathered all of you together and what were her new plans for hell.

when the meeting was finally done all of the overlords started leaving the room, leaving only you, zestial, carmilla and her daughters in it. carmilla was gathering all her notes from the table while her daughters were turning off the projector when zestial stood up and signalled for you to do the same. you quickly stood up and fixed your dress a bit as he smiled at you and then slowly walked over to carmilla’s side. you just watched him, standing behind the chair you were previously sitting in.

“carmilla, this is the lady i did want thee to meeteth f'r so longeth” he said and she immediately left her notes alone as her head turned to you with w soft smile on her face. “y/n, carmilla. carmilla, y/n” he said and moved away a bit so she could walk to you.

carmilla almost immediately walked towards you and stood before you taking out her hand for you to shake. which you immediately did praying to whoever was listening you that your palm wasn’t sweaty. “a pleasure to finally meet you dear” she said while shaking your hand and smiling to you wider than she’s before. you smiled back trying not to look too excited as you squeezed her hand softly in the handshake.

“the pleasures all mine, after all i should’ve met you long time ago” you said with a soft chuckle and she nodded with a remaining smile. her daughters watched the interaction with curiosity while zestial started smiling at the two demons noticing their curious gaze.

“better late than never” she chuckled and finally let go of your hand as she looked over to her daughter’s signalling that they’re free to go. the pair smiled to her and left in a hurry definitely having something planned for their time already. zestial caught your gaze and smiled softly to you, in a way that was supposed to show you he was right about not needing to stress about the outfit. you rolled your eyes at him yet carmilla was the first to catch it, as she chuckled softly and then looked over to zestial.

“do you two want to stay a while? we can do some catching up” she said mostly having zestial in her mind. you shrugged at her words and nodded not having anything else planned for the evening and expected zestial to do the same, but you were so wrong.

“sadly i can’t carmilla. ive did promise alast'r id seeth that gent aft'r the meeting.” liar. you knew he didn’t have any plans for tonight. you eyed him up and down but he chose to ignore your gaze. “but y/n already did agree so thee won’t beest b'r'd” he added and nodded to carmilla as a goodbye while walking over to the door.

carmilla frowned a bit not knowing about what exactly was she supposed to be talking with you while her friend wasn’t there but she definitely wasn’t going to throw you out as you’ve already agreed to stay with her. zestial smirked to you while he was leaving and you swore, you’d kill him when you get back home later tonight.

“we can get to know each other” carmilla said with a forced smile as she sighed and gathered her notes again. you started fidgeting with your fingers again.

“it’s okay if you want me to go, i understand you meant mostly for zestial to stay with you” you said as you looked at her and started noticing more and more of the details of her face the more you were staring at her. she sighed at your words but shook her head no, taking all the notes into her huge hands.

“there’s no need” she said waving one of her hands as the other kept all the notes from falling out of her grab. “i’m sure we can think something out as i’ve already asked you too to stay” she said and walked over to one of the door turning her head back to you waiting for you to follow her.

you almost immediately followed her and she hummed opening the door to her office and keeping it open for you to come in as well. you gave her a quick ‘thank you’ as you walked in, and she nodded her head closing the door behind you. carmilla walked over to her desk and dropped all the papers onto her desk as she walked over to her chair next and sat down in it with a loud grunt from her throat, closing her eyes. after a second she opened them to notice you still standing next to the door as she moved her hand pointing to the chairs in front of her desk, telling you that you can have a sit. you smiled to her and immediately went to sit down as well.

carmilla closed her eyes again and moved one of her hands to stroke her forehead as if her head was burning. you tilted you head slightly.

“are you stressed?” you asked out of the blue and carmilla opened her eyes softly, looking at you halfy confused and intrigued with why would you ask her that.

“a bit” she responded and sighed, not keeping her profesional posture anymore as she got more comfortable in her seat. you smiled uncontrollably seeing her being comfortable around you enough to let herself loosen the straight up persona.

“what is bothering you?” you asked and carmilla scoffed waving her other hand in the air and rolling her eyes as she whispered something in spanish under her breath. you bit your lip looking at her trying to figure out if you should let her be or dig a bit deeper. “i know a few ways to relax” you said and carmilla chuckled at your words as she looked at your rather playfully. only after a moment you realised how your sentence sounded and chuckled as well, rolling your eyes in a more of a relaxed manner.

“and what would they be?” carmilla asked as she took her hand away from her forehead and continued looking at you, gently rising one of her eyebrows now as she fixed her composure and the way she was sitting. you decided to shoot your shot, it was hell after all, what’s the worst that can happen?

“you know, some people relax while having a massage, other prefer partying out their worries” you said as you moved your hands with your words, carmilla’s eyes noticing every small move of them. “and there’s people who say pleasure is also a good way to take away the stress” you added with a small smirk and carmilla started laughing as she put her hands on the desk for some support.

“you’re a bold one” she said still laughing and you just shrugged trying to keep the confidence but also wanting to see if this situation can turn into something more.

after she stopped laughing she took a deep breath and let out a deep sigh. “it seems having a good laugh helps as well” she said grinning and watching your whole figure sitting in the chair. you smiled to her uncontrollably and started playing with your fingers again. carmilla’s eyes immediately went down to your hands as she narrowed her brows and she now started to slightly lean over her desk. “don’t do that” she said looking at your hands and it took you a second to realise what she was referring to.

“oh, don’t worry about it” you said a bit nervously as you chuckled, yet carmilla’s gaze wasn’t getting any softer.

“i’m serious” she said and looked up onto your face again “don’t ruin your pretty hands with something as stupid as being nervous” she added and stopped leaning over her desk, leaning her back against her chair. you couldn’t help but catch her words and started smiling to yourself a bit.

“so i have pretty hands?” you asked and carmilla’s eyebrow went up at your question yet her expression stayed stoic. you smirked to her as you noticed her raised eyebrow and waited for her response. yet carmilla didn’t seem to be planning on saying something as she just looked down at all the papers on her desk, suddenly looking for something only with her eyes. you chuckled to yourself as you felt like you’ve stroke a jackpot.

“aren’t you going to respond?” you asked with a soft chuckle as you got up from your seat and walked over closer to her chair. her eyes were on you the whole time like they were always looking for some danger. you smiled more as you noticed her gaze and as you finally walked over to her enough to be standing right next to her chair. carmilla was looking at you a bit suspiciously but some curiosity was dancing in her gaze as well.

“what are you planning on doing now?” she asked as she turned her chair a bit so she was facing you fully now. you giggled and shrugged trying to appear nonchalant. lies, she saw better than that.

“i’m planning on waiting for you response” you chuckle as you put your hands on your hips looking down at her face. “and offering you a scalp massage” you added with a smile and carmilla’s eyes went wide.

“a scalp massage?” she asked a bit confused while narrowing her eyes at you. you chuckled and nodded your head.

“yes, it helps with headaches and stress” you explained and made another step into her direction closing the space between you more and more. “can i?” you asked looking at her pinned up hair.

carmilla bit her lip looking away from you as she closed her eyes and sighed, nodding her head. “yes, yes you can” she said softly and moved one of her hands to her ‘hair’, pulling at the ribbon that was keeping her hair up, pulling it out completely and letting her hair fall down.

you literally felt how your hands started shaking at the sight of her with her hair down and you couldn’t stop staring at her. your eyes roamed her up and down yet mostly they focused on her face and how beautifully the hair was capturing it. she cleared her throat feeling a bit uneasy under your gaze but in a nervous way, not an uncomfortable one. the sound took you down to hell as you smiled dumbly feeling your cheeks blush.

“sorry” you said as you moved your hands onto her head and started slowly slipping your fingers through her hair not even massaging her scull yet. “you just… i just wasn’t prepared to see you like this” you said and chuckled a bit at your own words. carmilla chuckled as well but decided to push her luck.

“like this? what do you mean?” she asked leaning back in her chair a bit more so that you’d need to take another step closer to her. you haven’t noticed she did it on purpose as you made that step closer now standing right between her legs. you looked down at her legs on both sides of yours and your face flushed even more, as you brought your eyes up again looking at the top of her head. carmilla hummed seeing your reaction and her eyes immediately went up to your face.

“you know…” you started as you remembered she’s asked you a question. your hands started to massage her scull finally and she grunted a bit at the feeling making your pink cheeks turn red now. “this… beautiful” you shrugged saying it as nothing else was coming into your mind. carmilla blinked at your words still looking up at your face but with a slight of surprise on her face as well.

“beautiful? you find me beautiful?” she asked sounding generous yet a hint of tease could be heard in her voice. you bit your lip and rolled your eyes making your fingers scratch her scalp a bit now.

“i do” you said nodding your head softly. “when i saw you entering that meeting i couldn’t take my eyes off of you, but when you let your hair down-“ you chuckled and heard her grunting again when your fingers pressed down harder. “i think beautiful is an understatement at this point” you added and laughed as carmilla felt her cheeks blush this time. she covered it up with a chuckle from her as well yet your eyes were able catch her rosy cheeks.

you started massaging her scull more now putting more pressure into it and trying to focus on it rather than on the fact how close you were to her and that she literally had you in her grip. carmilla closed her eyes at some point enjoying the massage and letting out many sounds showing how much she enjoyed your massage. you tried your best not to let them affect you yet your red cheeks were speaking for themselves.

you slipped your fingers through her hair more and more getting to more parts of her scull as carmilla was just sitting there enjoying it. at some point her hands moved from her armrests to your hips to keep you close and mostly, to keep her stable as she needed some grounding. you chuckled at the feeling and continued your ministrations actually enjoying the feeling of her hands on your hips.

suddenly, your fingers got stuck in her hair and you tried to get them out, gently pulling at her hair. you didn’t expect the hair to get so tangled around your finger but something you didn’t expect even more was the moan that left carmilla when you pulled at her hair. her hands gripped your hips a bit as the most beautiful sound you’ve ever heard left her mouth. making both of your cheeks flush, making yours turn from red to maroon. carmilla opened her eyes immediately and looked up at you as her hands were still holding you still at your hips. you looked down at her as well, making eye contact and not controlling the smirk that creeped up onto your face.

“you liked that, huh?” you asked and carmilla looked away her cheeks blushing even more. you chuckled and pulled at her hair again, on purpose this time. she didn’t expect it again and let out a high-pitched groan, bitting down on her lip almost immediately to keep her sounds in.

you smirked wider and made it your mission to pull more of that sounds out from her. carmilla looked up at you again and noticed your smirk knowing well that you were planning something. her hands gripped your hips tighter and you bit your lip as well, fingers dipping into her hair more. carmilla smirked seeing your reaction and closed her legs a bit so that they’d keep you in place, as well as right between them.

she moved her head a bit so she was more looking up at you know, but you were still able to massage her scalp. she looked at you with a smirk and some kind of lazy eyes as the moves of your fingers were playing with her a bit. you chuckled looking down into her eyes and enjoying the feeling of her legs squeezing yours.

“i’m thinking of letting you give me an actual massage” she chuckled and you looked away from her chuckling nervously as well. carmilla licked her lips and gripped your hips tighter her huge hands covering most of your waist.

“if you want it, i’m down” you replied and went back to scratching at her scull. she chuckled but then it turned into a moan when you found another good spot on her head, yet this time she wasn’t hiding the sound anymore. she bit her lip again but continued on softly moaning when your hands kept on massaging her scalp.

after a moment of silence between you two, one of her hand started to slowly move up your body touching your stomach, then your ribs, just so softly tracing the underside of your boob and then going to rest on your shoulder. you bit your lip at the feel of her hand and tried to keep a straight face as you continued on massaging her. carmilla chuckled seeing your reaction as her other hand gripped your hip again. you let out a groan at the feeling and she chuckled, her legs squeezing you once again.

“are you alright?” she asked suddenly and your eyes immediately went to hers. “you look a bit… red” she added with a chuckle and you rolled your eyes playfully at her but when her finger started gently stroking your collarbone you let out a sigh.

“said the one who’s just as red as i am” you replied right back and she smirked enjoying the confidence you were giving her.

“you’re bold, mi cariño” she said and you felt your legs going weak at the spanish nickname. she noticed as well and licked her lips, enjoying her affect on you.

“you seem to like me being bold” you said pushing your fingers a bit harder as she groaned and nodded her head softly, her fingers still tracing your collarbone.

“you have no idea how much” she replied as her hand on your hip started to stroke your body there. you bit your lip again and started to grow more and more impatient. as was she, but you couldn’t have known that.

you softly moved your hands from her hair down to her face and cupped her cheeks looking into her eyes like searching for permission. she smirked seeing your gaze as her hand gripped your hip harder this time, as did her legs.

“what?” she asked knowing exactly what you were asking for not using your words. you rolled your eyes at her question and leaned down a bit your nose almost touching hers now.

“can i kiss you, beautiful?” you asked and carmilla felt her cheeks blush again at the end. she took a deep breath in looking deep into her eyes and stayed silent for a moment just enjoying how the question hang in the air while her hands were touching your body and yours were touching her face.

her gaze softened after a second and she nodded her head. “yes, yes you can” she said and you smiled at her, the smile being the most generous one she’s ever seen in hell.

you moved her face up a bit, touching her nose with yours and you giggled, carmilla closing her eyes at the sound and smiling wide herself. after a second you moved your head down not even by an inch and finally touched her lips with yours.

when your lips finally connected both of her hands gripped your body keeping you close to her as if she was afraid you’d run away. you smiled into the kiss and tried to make it more of a soft one yet the way she was gripping you and the way her legs were squeezing your figure have shown you that she wasn’t in a mood for a soft kiss.

before you could even react her hand on your shoulder moved to your neck and pulled you even more into her, deepening the kiss as she swiftly slipped her tongue into your mouth. you moaned into the kiss and she just smiled fighting with you for dominance which after a while you lost. carmilla moaned as well feeling you finally submissive to her and her hand left your neck going back to your shoulder again.

you moaned again and as you were about to pull away she moved her lips from yours down to your jaw and then to your neck, leaving trails and trails of wet and sloppy kisses there, literally marking you with her black lipstick. you kept on moaning softly, as your hands went back into her hair pulling at it slightly, showing how badly you were enjoying yourself.

carmilla smirked at your reaction as her hand on your hips gripped you again. her mouth suddenly sucked a hickey on your neck and you yelped slightly tugging at her hair more. she moaned at the feeling and started softly nibbling on your neck pulling more and more sounds out of you.

when you two were going at it you haven’t heard the door to her office open, at least not until you heard a thud of something falling down onto the ground. you two immediately opened your eyes and leaned away looking towards the door. you saw both of her daughters standing there and noticed the small pile of papers on the ground as the blonde one must’ve been the one to drop it.

carmilla looked at them sheepishly and chuckled uncomfortably, tying her hair back and trying to act as professional as she could. the two girls shared a look and one of them bent down to grab the papers. after that they both rolled their eyes, one of them more annoyed while the other more amused.

“we will come back later, mom” the blonde one shot as they both walked out of the office shutting the door after them with a rather loud thud.

carmilla started laughing when they left but it was more of an uncomfortable and uncontrollable laugh yet it didn’t stop you from laughing with her as well. her two daughters just caught her sucking your skin off in her office yet for some reason laughing was calming you two down.

after this, you knew that anytime zestial would be meeting with carmilla now you’d definitely come along and maybe… probably… surely you will be meeting up with her now even without your shared friend.

translations:

"what's the problem lief? wherefore art thee in such a sweaty haste?" - “what’s the problem my friend? why are you in such a hurry?”

"don't thee w'rry, whatev'r thee weareth shall beest fine. nay one actually pays attention to what we're wearing" - “don’t worry, whatever you wear will be fine. no one actually pays attention to what we’re wearing”

"and t won't affect carmilla's first impression of thee" - “and it won’t affect carmilla’s first impression of you”

"you'll beest fine. if 't be true you'll alloweth me i wouldst chooseth this f'r the present day." - “you’ll be fine. if you let me, i would choose this for today”

"carmilla shall appreciateth thy professionalism" - “carmilla will appreciate your professionalism”

"thee behold ravishing, the lady shall loveth to meeteth thee" - “you look ravishing, she will love to meet you”

"carmilla, this is the lady i did want thee to meeteth f'r so longeth" - “carmilla this is the friend i wanted you to meet for so long”

“sadly i can’t carmilla. ive did promise alast'r id seeth that gent aft'r the meeting. but y/n already did agree so thee won’t beest b'r'd” - sadly i can’t carmilla. ive promised alastor id see him after the meeting. but y/n already agreed so you won’t be bored

all translations from here!

[goldengalore]

Perception

Summary: Y/N has social anxiety. When she and Harry go on a double date with Jeff and Glenne, Harry thinks everything is going extremely well. It isn’t until they get home later that he realizes Y/N didn’t feel the same way.

Word count: 3.5k

Warnings: anxiety, eating problems due to anxiety, use of alcohol as a coping mechanism (which I do not condone), implied smut

A/N: I focus on H’s POV throughout just to show how much his perception of events differs from Y/N’s, which is tainted by her anxiety. Hoping to write more fics with this concept in the future! :)

***

“You know, you don’t have to go if you don’t want to,” says Harry, entering the master bathroom where Y/N is meticulously applying her makeup.

They have dinner plans tonight with two of Harry’s closest friends—his manager Jeff and Jeff’s wife Glenne. Y/N has met Jeff a few times but only in a professional setting, and she has yet to meet Glenne. Although the four of them have tried making plans to hang out before, they never came to fruition because Y/N’s anxiety would always spiral out of control leading up to the event, causing Harry to make up some excuse for why they have to cancel.

“D—do you not want me to go?” asks Y/N.

He frowns, slipping his hands into the pockets of his brown corduroy pants. “What? Of course I do.”

“It’s just...” She pops open the cap of the lipstick in her hands and stares down at it. “This is the third time you’ve said that to me today.”

His eyes fall shut for a moment, as he realizes how his words must have come across when repeated that many times. “Fuck. Sorry, lovie, I hadn’t meant it that way. I just don’t want you to feel pressured to do something you’re not comfortable with.”

“I can’t bail on them again, H. I’ve done that enough times already.” She sighs. “And besides... Life’s about getting out of your comfort zone, right?” She forces a smile and returns to applying her makeup, leaning forward to get a closer look in the mirror.

He notices a slight tremor in her hand as she glides the rounded edge of the scarlet lipstick across her bottom lip, then the top one. Her lips now match the colour of her knee-length, satin dress. She spent longer than usual getting ready for tonight, going the extra mile to ensure that her makeup was flawless and every hair was in its place.

Now, as he watches her eyes scan her reflection in the mirror, it’s almost like he can read her mind, like he can see her mentally scrutinizing every little aspect of her appearance that she perceives as an imperfection but he perceives as one of the many things he loves about her.

“You look stunning,” he tells her.

She smiles at him. “Thank you, baby.”

He walks over to her. She turns to face him, leaning her hip against the counter. The movement causes a perfectly curled strand of hair to fall over her shoulder. He gently brushes it back. She truly does look stunning, and it’s making him imagine all the things he wants to do to her right now but can’t because it will only end up making them late for dinner, which won’t be any good for her anxiety.

“I hope you know you don’t need to impress them or anything like that,” he says. “They already love you.”

She gives him a skeptical look. “How can they already love me? They barely know me.”

“Um, not true. I talk about you a lot. Probably far too much. In fact, Jeff has told me to shut up on a few different occasions because I wouldn’t stop going on about you.”

His admission makes her laugh and paints her cheeks a cute shade of pink.

“So, they already know lots about you,” he continues, “and they think you’re amazing, which means there’s nothing to prove. All right?”

She nods. He analyzes her expression closely but still can’t discern whether she actually believes him or not; he can only hope she does. He starts to lean in for a kiss but stops an inch away from her lips. She gazes up at him in confusion.

“I really want to kiss you,” he says, “but your lipstick’s going to get all over me.”

She rolls her eyes. “You’re such a baby. Come here.” With a hand on the back of his neck, she pulls him in to complete the kiss, then effortlessly wipes the residue off his mouth with her thumb. “See? All gone.” She smiles sweetly, making him want to kiss her all over again.

“Okay, now get out,” she says. “I need to pee before we leave.”

“Fiiine. I’ll meet you downstairs.”

***

They arrive at the restaurant at nearly the same time as Jeff and Glenne. The four of them convene in the parking lot before heading inside together. The reservation is under Jeff’s name. He speaks to the hostess, who guides them to a booth in the private dining area. It’s quieter here, the dim lighting and soft jazz making it feel even more intimate.

Each couple takes one side of the booth. Harry lets Y/N slide in before him. As they get settled, Jeff asks Y/N if she has ever eaten at this restaurant before. She shakes her head in response. Jeff lets out a dramatic gasp.

“What?! H never brought you here?” He shoots Harry a judgmental look. “What kind of boyfriend are you, man?”

“An amazing one, thank you very much,” Harry retorts, adding, “We’ve just never had a chance to come here.”

The real reason Harry has never brought Y/N here before is that eating in public triggers her anxiety. She tried apologizing to him once for her anxiety preventing them from being a “normal” couple who goes on “normal” dates at restaurants, but he refused to let her apologize for something that’s out of her control. And anyway, they don’t need to go out to fancy restaurants to have fun. As long as he’s with her, he’ll have fun no matter where they are.

“Well, Y/N,” says Jeff, “I can assure you this place serves the best food in all of Los Angeles. I would even go as far as saying all of America.”

“Okay, don’t oversell it now,” Glenne intervenes. “You’re going to set her expectations way too high and she’ll be disappointed.”

“Impossible,” he states confidently.

Glenne rolls her eyes and turns to Y/N. “He’s obsessed with this place, in case you couldn’t tell. Brought me here for our first three dates. Not one, not two”—she leans forward to emphasize—“but three.”

“Oh, you loved it.” When she doesn’t refute his statement, a victorious grin spreads across his face.

Y/N seems enamoured with their exchange. “How did you guys meet?” she asks.

They launch into a story about their very first interaction and how that cascaded into them falling madly in love. A story that Harry has heard a million times now and never gets tired of.

He is a hopeless romantic through and through. He loves love.

Jeff and Glenne have always seemed like the perfect match. In all his years of knowing them and especially on the day he officiated their wedding, Harry often found himself wishing that he could find a love like theirs someday—so pure and everlasting.

Although he and Y/N are still in the early stages of their relationship, having dated for only a few months, something keeps telling him that this might be the love he’s been yearning for all along. And every time he’s with her, that feeling is reinforced.

The waiter—a man of average height with neatly styled blonde hair who introduces himself as Dylan—comes by to deliver their menus and obtain their drink orders. When he leaves, Harry, Jeff, and Glenne begin discussing the menu items, bouncing ideas off each other about what to get and commenting on dishes they’ve previously tried.

Y/N is silent. When Harry looks over at her, she’s staring down at her menu blankly, brows furrowed, teeth nibbling on her bottom lip. The menu items do have strange names, and the brief descriptions accompanying them are not very informative, so he can understand her confusion as a first-timer.

He leans over to her and points at an item on her menu. “I think you’ll like that one.”

She seems relieved to finally have some input on what to order. “Okay, I’ll get that then. But, um...” She glances at Jeff and Glenne, who are immersed in their own conversation about the menu, and drops her voice as she asks, “Do you mind ordering it for me? I’ll probably butcher the name if I try.”

���Sure, no problem.” He straightens up in his seat, then leans back over to her to add, “But just so you know, I’ve butchered plenty of these names before, so you wouldn’t be the first to do it.”

She gives him an appreciative grin.

After some time, Dylan the waiter returns with their drinks and notes down their orders. From the corner of his eye, Harry notices Y/N down a large portion of her cocktail in one go.

Ever since she opened up to him about her struggles with social anxiety, he has been trying to read up on it to understand and support her better. He recalls reading somewhere that people with social anxiety often use alcohol to soothe their nerves before and during social interactions. He has certainly caught Y/N doing that on several occasions. It may not be the healthiest coping mechanism, but he doesn’t judge her for it. He knows from experience what an effective, though temporary, salve alcohol can be for difficult emotions.

“So, Y/N, how did you and H meet?” Glenne asks. “I’ve heard the story from him, but I want to hear your side of it.”

The three of them stare at Y/N expectantly. Her leg is bouncing up and down under the table. Harry places his hand on her thigh, squeezing it gently, reassuringly.

She clears her throat. “We, um, we met in a Zoom meeting.”

“Isn’t that so romantic?” Harry jokes, eliciting a laugh from them.

Y/N seems to relax a bit.

“Wait, hold on,” says Glenne. “Rewind before the Zoom meeting. Harry told me Jeff reached out to you about getting your help with some merch designs?”

“Right, yeah, I’ll start from there,” says Y/N. “Jeff actually reached out to my friend Rosie. She handles all my social media and helps my art gain exposure—all the things I’m not so good at,” she laughs. “So, Rosie called me and said that Harry’s team had reached out to her about my artwork and asked if I would be willing to help design some new exclusive merch for him. I was about to say no at first because well, the thought of my art being seen on such a massive scale was... terrifying. But Rosie convinced me that it would be a great opportunity, so I said yes.”

“Thank God,” Harry mumbles off to the side.

She smiles, continuing, “So, Jeff and Rosie set up a Zoom meeting for the four of us. I was absolutely terrified. Rosie had to do all the talking. I probably said five words the whole time.”

“I remember exactly what she said.” He counts on his fingers as he lists off the only phrases she uttered that day, “She said ‘hi,’ she said ‘thank you’ twice, and she said ‘bye.’”

Glenne chuckles, looking fondly between the two of them.

“The second meeting was much better,” says Y/N. “I actually had to talk since Rosie couldn’t make it. Harry made me feel really comfortable, and I realized he wasn’t scary at all. He also kept reassuring me that I would get credit for my work, as if he thought I was afraid he’d take my designs and run off with them.”

“Yup, classic Harry,” Jeff remarks, nodding along.

Harry’s cheeks grow warm. “Well, I thought that was why you were being so hesitant!” he explains to Y/N. “It’s happened to other people. Didn’t want you to think I was like that. I’m a man of integrity, you know.”

“Oh, I never doubted that, baby.” She places her hand on top of his on her thigh.

“What a sweet story,” says Glenne.

“Who knew people could find love over Zoom?” Jeff jokes.

“Maybe they should change their branding and become a dating website,” Y/N adds facetiously, earning a laugh from all of them.

It delights Harry to see her opening up to his friends. This is the Y/N that he wanted them to see—the funny, opinionated person beneath the shy, reserved exterior. There are so many layers to her, and he finds himself uncovering more and more each day.

Their orders arrive a few minutes later. Everyone except Y/N digs into their food ravenously. She takes several sips of her drink before even touching anything on her plate. On the way there, Harry told her that she could sneak her food onto his plate if her nerves were making it hard to eat.

“You’re just saying that because you like stealing my food,” she said when he suggested that.

“You got me,” he replied with a smirk.

Dinner goes swimmingly. Y/N loosens up more and more as time goes on. He can’t be sure whether it’s the effects of the alcohol—she’s had a few refills of her drink—or the fact that she’s growing comfortable around Jeff and Glenne, but he would like to think it’s mostly the latter.

After they’ve finished eating and paid the bill, Y/N and Glenne take a trip to the restroom while Harry and Jeff wait for them outside the entrance.

“Y/N seems awesome,” says Jeff. “I can’t believe you’ve been hiding her from us this whole time.”

Harry gives him an amused look. “I haven’t been ‘hiding’ her. She’s just shy. Takes her a bit to get comfortable around new people, you know?”

“I get that. Hopefully, she can start coming out with us more often. Seems like she’s going to be around for a while.” He smirks and playfully nudges Harry, who coughs into his fist to cover up the boyish grin on his face.

The door to the restaurant swings open, and out comes Glenne with her arm wrapped around Y/N’s. They’re both laughing about something.

“Someone’s a little tipsy,” says Glenne, as they approach the men. “She almost walked into a wall coming out of the restroom.”

Y/N hiccups. “It came out of nowhere!”

“Good thing I caught her in time.”

“Thanks, Glenne,” says Harry. “I’ll take it from here.” He puts an arm around his girlfriend’s shoulders, pulling her close to him.

“I’m really not that drunk,” she insists, hiccupping again.

“Whatever you say, lovie,” he teases, planting a kiss on the side of her head.

***

Y/N hardly says a word on the ride home. Harry doesn’t think anything of it. He’s still musing over what a wonderful night it was and how happy he is that his friends got along so well with his girlfriend.

When they get home, it’s still pretty early, so they decide to watch a movie on the couch. Y/N lays with her head on his chest, face directed towards the TV. She hasn’t moved or spoken in a while, so he assumes she must have fallen asleep in the middle of the movie, but then she suddenly sits up.

“I’m pretty tired,” she tells him. “I think I’ll head to bed, but you can finish the movie without me.”

“Are you sure?”

She nods and gives him a kiss goodnight before standing up and leaving the room.

The movie is still playing, but Harry can no longer focus. Something about the way Y/N avoided his eyes when she got up and her brisk steps toward the stairs has left him feeling strange. He tries to tell himself that she probably was just tired and eager to crawl into bed, but that explanation doesn’t quite satisfy him.

His gut is urging him to go upstairs and check on her. He waits a few minutes before doing so, quietly climbing the stairs and approaching the bedroom at the end of the hall. The lights are off, but the door is open. He peeks inside and sees Y/N laying there under the covers, wide awake, staring up at the ceiling.

“Lovie?”

She jumps a little at his voice and turns to look at him. “What are you doing here? I said you could finish the movie without me.”

“It’s no fun without you.” He walks in and sits down on the bed next to her, switching on the lamp on the bedside table. “Wanna tell me what’s going on in that pretty head of yours?” He lightly taps her forehead, bringing a small smile to her lips.

“Nothing. It’s stupid.” She closes her eyes and sighs. When she opens them again, there’s a sadness behind them. “I’m sorry, H.”

“For what?”

“For embarrassing you in front of your friends tonight.”

He frowns. “Embarrassing me? Is this about you getting a bit drunk? There’s nothing wrong with that, you know. It’s not like you were climbing on tables and cussing at bystanders. That would have been embarrassing, albeit hilarious.”

“It’s not just that.” She shakes her head. “It was... It was everything. I was trying so hard to act normal, but everything that came out of my mouth just felt awkward, and then there’s the fact that I hardly ate anything and I know Jeff noticed that because he kept glancing over at my plate and I could tell he was wondering why I was acting so strange, and I also feel like I wasn’t contributing to the conversation as much as I should have, but I—I just didn’t know what to say and now I’m worried that they think I’m boring or—or—”

“Y/N, hey.” He places a gentle hand on her chest to halt her rambling. “Take a deep breath for me.”

He feels her chest rise as she inhales deeply, then fall as she exhales slowly.

“Good. Now listen to me. You did not embarrass me, so get that out of your head right now, okay?”

She nods.

“And all those worries floating around in your head? They’re not real, my love. Dinner went really well. You were wonderful. I was having a great time, and I thought you were too, but I might’ve misinterpreted things—”

“You didn’t. I was having a good time. It was only after we left that I started getting in my head about it...” She pouts. “I just really wanted them to like me.”

“They do. I promise they do. You know what Jeff said to me while we were waiting outside for you and Glenne? He said you’re awesome and he hopes you’ll come out with us more often. Now why would he say that if he didn’t like you?”

She shrugs. “Maybe he was just trying to be polite?”

That almost makes him keel over with laughter. “Sweetheart, Jeff and I are way past the point of politeness. If he doesn’t like someone I’m seeing, he does not hesitate to tell me.”

She stares up at the ceiling again, biting on her lip. “Did he really say that?” she asks eventually.

“He did. But in case you don’t believe me, let me show you a text I received from Glenne after we got home.”

He takes his phone out of his pocket and opens up his messages with Glenne. The most recent one says, “Hey, I completely forgot to get Y/N’s number. Would you mind sending it to me? I’d love to plan a shopping trip with her sometime.” He allows Y/N to read it for herself.

She looks at him when she’s done.

“Believe me now?” he asks.

“Yes.” Pulling the covers up over her head, she releases a frustrated groan. “Why am I like this? Why do I get so in my head about these things?”

He lies down next to her and brings the covers back down below her face. “It’s okay. It’s just your mind playing tricks on you, that’s all.”

“How do you even put up with me?”

“The real question is, how do you”—he shifts to get on top of her, his face hovering above hers—“put up with me”—he kisses her lips—“constantly wanting to be around you”—then her neck—“all the bloody time?”

She giggles and squirms at the feeling of his lips leaving sloppy, open-mouthed kisses all along her neck. As he continues showering her with kisses, all the tension seems to evaporate from her body. She melts into the mattress. Determined to help her relax even further, he lifts up the covers from the bottom and ducks under them.

“What are you doing?” she asks.

“I’ve heard the best remedy for anxious thoughts is an orgasm.”

He can hear the amusement in her voice as she replies, “Oh, is that right?”

“Mhm.” His hands slide up her thighs, spreading them apart to make room for himself.

“Did you read that on WebMD?”

“Something like that.”

***

Thank you for reading! For more anxious!reader and other fics, check out my MASTERLIST

[greynatomy]

surprise

katrina gorry x reader

based on this request.

harper’s gonna be a big sister!!!

part 1 part 2

———

“Flowers.”

“Check.”

“Chocolates.”

“Check.”

“Card.”

“Check.”

You and Harper are at the store, buying things for Katrina for Mother’s day. It isn’t until tomorrow, but you wanted to get everything ready.

The next morning, you woke up extra early, leaving the comfort of your wife’s embrace, successfully not waking her. You walked to your daughter’s room, rubbing your hands up and down her back.

“Wake up, Harps. We gotta make Mummy breakfast.”

“Mmm, no.” She stuffs her face closer to the pillow.

“It’s Mother’s Day, remember.”

Harper sits up, gasping, suddenly wide awake.

“Mother’s day!”

You carry Harper on your hip to the kitchen, hair all over the place.

“What should we make Mummy?”

“Uh, pacakes, eggs, bacon.”

Harper helped you mix the pancake batter, reminder her to not eat it cause it’s yucky. You plate all the food and place them in a tray. Walking to the room carefully, you place it down on the table in the corner of the room, helping Harper up on the bed.

“Happy Mummy Day!” She yelled, going into Katrina’s space, cuddling her.

Katrina sits up, back against the headboard, eyes light in up at the sight of her family.

“Oh, this is amazing. I love it.”

You had a bit of a family day, Katrina saying she wanted nothing more than to relax with the two of you. She also did get you some goodies to celebrate you on this day too and you were more than grateful.

———

A month later, you were in London for some meetings. Kyra practically forced you to stay in her place instead of some hotel, saying “I wanna spend some time with my Papa.”

You couldn’t say no.

You arrived in the afternoon, looking for the spare key Kyra told you where, but it’s nowhere to be found.

“Woah, woah! Can I help you?” You hear near you.

“Yeah, just looking for the spare key, by I can’t find it.”

“Are you at the right place?” You can tell they’re a bit cautious of you from the tone of their voice.

“Of cour—”

“Papa!” A voice you recognize all too well yells, jumping into your arms. “You’re here!”

“Hey, Roo. How ya been?”

“Good. Good.”

You both are catching up, completely forgetting about the other two that came with Kyra.

“Why’d Kyra call her Papa?” Katie asks Caitlin.

“That’s Mini’s wife.”

“Ah.”

The next day, you left the apartment before Kyra even woke up, leaving a note in the kitchen. It’s a busy day for you.

What you didn’t know was that Kyra was already up, texting your wife the all clear that she could come up. Opening the door, Kyra greeted her mother and sister figures.

They’ve decorated the whole place, having many, many breaks in between. Charli and Kyra were in charge of baking the cake, Mini obviously supervising.

It isn’t until a couple hours later that they hear keys unlocking the front door. They all get into places, lights turned off.

“Happy Father’s Day!”

You flinch in shock, not expecting this kind of welcome home.

“Harper!” You exclaim, excited to see your daughter after being away for a while. You carry Harper on your waist, walking over to where your wife stood. “Hey, baby.”

“Uh, hello? I’m here too.”

“Charli! You’re here!”

“Thanks! I feel the love.”

You didn’t expect to be celebrated on Father’s Day, don’t was an unexpected but appreciated surprise.

“I’ve got one last present.” You wife spoke up, handing you a small box. “Go ahead. Open it.”

She has a big smile on her face, which makes you skeptical, but open the box nonetheless. Carefully lifting the top off, you see a small little stick.

“What is this?” You ask, taking it out for further inspection. “Do you have covid?”

“Wha-no. I don’t have covid.” She looks at you as if you’d grown two heads.

“Two lines means covid though, right?”

“Huh? Let me see.” Kyra takes the stick out of your hands. “What! No way! Are you stupid?”

“What? What is it?”

“She’s pregnant!”

“What? Oh my god!” You carefully walk towards your wife, going down on your knees, pressing your forehead to her stomach. “There’s a baby in here?”

“Are you crying?”

“Shut up, Charli.”

“Harper! You’re gonna be a big sister!”

“Big sister!”

“Yeah! There’s a baby in Mummy’s belly.”

“Mummy eat a baby?”

“No!”

[oonajaeadira]

I'll Leave a Light On For You

Fandom: Bloodsucking Bastards / Max Phillips

Pairing: Max Phillips x f!reader

Reader: Adult female. No other physical descriptors; no use of y/n. (There is a little description, but it’s still you. Believe me, it will make sense. We’re dealing with the supernatural here.)

Rating: T. 

Warnings: Angst. Character death. Allusions to the atrocities of war and its lasting effects. Max is a vampire. Traumatic soul memory. Me assuming I know anything about French culture of the 1930s.

Summary: Max has reservations when it comes to love, and for very good reasons.

A/N: This is my entry for the @pedrostories Secret Santa event. While I played one selfish card in my hand and wrote something of a companion to Light Only Shows You Where the Shadows Are, this can still be read as a standalone.

To my giftee, the amazing and wonderful @artemiseamoon : First of all, I admire you so much and I was really nervous to write for you. But I looked among your generous prompt choices (omgs thank you for so many good choices) and was surprised to find Max as an option. I wasn’t going to choose him at first but then my eye caught “past lives” and something in me zinged. Soul mates, angsty romance, second chance at love… and I’ve been itching to write an angsty Max. I know you are a fan of soft and whump, so all those elements had a party in my heart and here we are. I really hope you’re having a nice holiday and a good time off. Happy Secret Santa, Arte. <3

What we’ve been told is that when you die, your life flashes before your eyes.

That’s almost correct.

The truth is…it’s not just your current life.

It’s all of them.

Max hardly remembers the fear, the pain, the cold of his draining. Even though he knew what was coming, bought into the cult, the human instinct of fight or flight is hard to dismiss no matter how well they’ve been prepped and it was to be expected. But it was a flash in the pan and once he came around to the undead side of things, those pesky human responses were all quickly forgotten.

For a time. Until he saw your light and–

Anyway. Human instincts. Pffft. Adorable. Trading the constant possibility of fear for that of glee, of rapture, of delight? Human instincts are trash. Not to mention their senses, poor suckers. The things they can’t see can’t hear can’t smell can’t taste? Tragic.

If only the feelings weren’t heightened too. It makes some things–some people–hard to ignore–

Feelings were something he could also have done without in his human life–the latest one anyway–and did whatever he could do to avoid.

It wasn’t until he died that he understood why.

As the life drained out of him and the delirium set in, there was a rushing sound, a pull through his soul like the drag of blood from his body, and he was laying, feeble, wailing, bloody and naked among the limbs of his mother.

But not the mother he so recently remembered, the one that showed her approval only when he provided her with some accomplishment worthy of crowing about to her society friends. No, this one was gentle, kind, held him and sang to him, lived her life for him until she died of fever when he was only five years old.

Max saw it all, from within himself and without, remembered the pull of his heart and watched the tears fall down his little face as they nailed his mother’s body in a pine box and put it in a hole at the top of a hill under a tree.

He always imagined he heard her singing to him in the grasses after that.

The world welcomed a new century, and not long afterward, he was a young man, looking to take over his father’s wine fields. But the chance was stolen when an archduke was shot. Max–Pierre, as he was called then–and all of the close friends and cousins he had were thrust into a great war. 

He was the only one to walk out of the fray. And when he came home, he found his father’s fields had been burned and that nothing remained.

That was a dark time. Ten years of looking back rather than looking forward. Ten years–it went by so fast–while he watched the world around him try to repair itself and find its footing again, not realizing that the roots of evil still grew beneath the soil.

He kept his head down and his hands working wherever he could.

But then he met a woman.

And she was Pierre’s life. Max’s life. Before he was Max.

It happened in the winter, just before Noël. And her name was Yaëlle.

Max remembered that before she even told him as he watched the story of this strange old life.

Yaëlle. It means “beautiful one.”

“It also means ‘goat,’” she’d said. “That seems more fitting.” She never thought of herself pretty, and perhaps she wasn’t fashionable and maybe she was stronger than she was dainty, with a weak chin and curly dark hair she couldn’t control. But the light in her eyes when she laughed–and what a laugh, like a little bird–the sway of her hips and the confidence in her carriage, her air of easy care and comfort caught his heart like a surly bear in the prettiest trap.

She’d simply been passing through the marché de Noēl, looking but not stopping, taking the kerchief off her head so the snow could land in her curls, when a child approached her selling buns in the shape of a cross and she gave the child a franc before sitting down at the statue of some cardinal or other in the center of the square.

She could have sat on any of the other benches, but she chose to plonk down next to Max. Next to Pierre.

“You want this?” she asked, offering the bun. “Not really my thing.”

How could she have known he was hungry? That he was lonely? That he was facing the market rather than the river because he was trying not to succumb to his inclinations, a pull to walk out onto the thin ice and let himself be taken by the stream?

He was instantly entranced by her. He felt himself smiling. Something shifted within. A destiny.

“You sure?” he asked.

She peered at him, scrutinized his whole self like she could see a glow around him and was looking for its source.

She found it in his eyes.

“Absolutely. I already ate three hand pies today. The last thing I need is more bread.”

He laughed for the first time in a long while. They talked. He ate.

On Christmas Eve when everyone was at the evening’s mass, she was there again, sitting alone, and this time it was he who had hot food and came to join her on the bench while the night was silent and cold and the stars were twinkling.

It was then that he learned why she was not in church–her folk did not observe Noēl. And she learned why he was not in church–he had lost his faith, that everyone he had ever loved was taken and there were not enough candles in the sanctuary to light for all of them.

“What if I lit one?” she’d asked.

“Who would you light it for?”

“For you. So you don’t have to sit in the dark.” When he was only silent, she said, “You fought in the Great War, didn’t you.” And when he looked away–when he shut her out–she continued. “My husband fought in that war. And he never could find his heart again. He said he loved me, but I don’t think he ever really did, not all the way. But I loved him all the way and when he put an end to his own life I thought I would have to do it too. Instead, I sat in the dark for a long time. It’s something I can see in a person. I can see you’re sitting in the dark.”

They stayed quiet for a time on the bench under the statue of the cardinal and when the church bells started to toll–signaling the magic of the empty square would soon be disrupted by the mass emptying into its streets–she stood and pulled her coat around her.

“My home is down that street, a little one with a red roof. It’s warm and I’ve plenty of hand pies--I made too many. I’ll leave a candle in the window until I’m asleep. You’re always welcome there, Max.”

And then she smiled and turned down the avenue where she’d pointed.

He blinked. Just before she reached the edge of the square he called out, “My name isn’t Max. It’s Pierre.”

She turned and gave a sly wink. “Good to know. I think once you get a belly full of my pies, you’ll let me call you whatever I want.”

He only sat long enough to watch the churchgoers file out of the holy service, many of them with people they loved, humming, happy, cheeks glowing in that way when one steps into a fresh cold world after being an hour or two soaking in the warmth. And once the square was empty again, he stood, gave only a fleeting look to the river, and then walked resolutely down Yaëlle’s street.

A little house with a red roof and a candle in the window.

He stayed for supper and came back many nights after.

And then one night he never left.

Max recalled the rest of that life with a lurking despair. While he couldn’t quite remember how it went, something in him carried it through to the life he’d just left…and he couldn’t pinpoint exactly what it was yet.

A few years of joy, of the greatest love he’d felt since his childhood. Like the mother he’d lost, another woman who was gentle, kind, held him and sang to him, lived her life for him until she couldn’t anymore.

They never celebrated Noël as the others did, but in their own way. For a handful of years they would go sit on the bench in the square and hand out pies to their neighbors and anyone who came to join them where they sat. They would listen to the singing in the church and watch the stars scintillate overhead. They would leave their shoes by the fireplace and wake up to find gifts they’d bought for each other with the little francs that they had. And they would never talk about what they would do in the future, because they knew it would be this and that’s all they aspired to and it would be a happy life.

And Max watched Pierre forget about the rot that still ran its roots through the soil.

And one day soldiers came to town when he was out in the fields and they took Yaëlle and some of the other dark-haired, joyful, bird-laughing folk about town and murdered them. By the time he returned for the evening, the soldiers had gone and left him nothing but a ravaged house and a body to bury.

There’s nothing he could have done, the mourning neighbors told him, the tide was rising. If he had fought them, they would have shot him too.

Pierre said that it would have been better that way.

Pierre stopped working in the fields when he started to hear his mother’s voice singing among the grasses again…now joined by Yaëlle’s sweet alto.

He had one more Noël in that life. He drank as much as he could take without falling over and stumbled out to sit on the bench in the square, weeping once the churchgoers had gone. He didn’t say a word, but Max remembered what Pierre was thinking then.

Love hurts too much. It is always taken. It’s not worth the trouble.

And then Pierre fell asleep on that bench and never woke up again.

There wasn’t much time between that first life and this one, maybe a few decades in the dark. Just long enough for a voice to reach him in the void–a voice he knew well and loved with his whole heart for only a short time–to say,

“That was a good first try, Max. Let’s give it another go, okay? Another place, another time, when it’s not so hard. I’ll leave a light on for you.”

____

Max’s life had been shorter this time. But he’d learned a thing or two and kept love at arm’s length. Sex was good and companionship was fine, but he wouldn’t invest in anything that could drain him in an instant and leave him destitute. 

Now power, that could fill the void. 

So when fortune smiled and he was given the choice, he swallowed hard and put his neck to the teeth, traded in his humanity for power that nobody could take away from him…and a heart that had no need for warmth.

He was wrong about that last point though.

And he didn’t even know it until he saw something that humans couldn’t see.

Heard something they couldn’t hear, a long ago and far away voice singing.

Smelled you on the wind.

Followed it to you–a woman, just another human woman–walking out of a bar along some street in the city.

And he saw a light glowing from within you.

You wore another face, another body, but all he saw was you.

Yaëlle.

Beautiful one.

He followed you that night, and several nights after. He was the reason that car swerved before it hit you, the reason you weren’t approached by that seedy guy at the club. He was the reason you kept looking behind you now and then and when you finally saw him–having dinner at the same restaurant, totally by coincidence, you on a friendly outing, him trying to charm a client into a contract–it broke his heart that you did not know him instantly.

He found he was surprised that he still had a heart to break. He’d been so fucking careful.

Max almost gave into the anger, the disappointment. Replayed the pathetic way Pierre let himself be brought down and tried to remind himself not to let himself be broken again.

But then he heard your voice in a way only those who walk in death can.

Let’s give it another go. I’ll leave a light on for you.

____

Heightened feeling is the one drawback of all this power. It’s one thing to latch onto a target, to fixate on some middle manager or accountant or IT specialist until there’s a good time to finally strike. That is an itch that can be satisfied with a well-timed, fear-seasoned, adrenaline-soaked kill.

But love sinks its fangs in and doesn’t let go. It sucks at something that can’t be drained, has no end, can never get enough. It can drive an immortal--a never-ending being of heightened existence--to madness.

There will come a day in the future when you’ll trust him for no good reason, when you’ll understand the monster he is and whisper under your breath against your better judgment, when you’ll invite him in. For dinner.

And he’ll come around again and again.

And then one day, he’ll stay.

And you’ll yawn ask him on the edge of sleep, “Why me? Of all these humans that you could easily enthrall and have without question, why choose this?”

Max will look at you in the darkness and see nothing but your light.

You won’t understand when he puts on a show of an irritated sigh and tells you, “You gave me another chance, sweetmeats,” but you’ll doze in his cold arms, absolutely confident as he is that nothing will ever hurt you again. Including himself.

And that night he’ll stay until you wake.

He won’t have you sit in the darkness alone.

_____

MASTERLIST

CHARACTER MASTERLIST

[finnsbubblegum]

First Birthday (Joel Miller X Reader)

Pairing: no-outbreak!joel miller x f!reader

Warnings: fluff, sweet joel, domestic joel, rom-com

Summary (Series): reader as Joel’s neighbor. Joel’s wife left him so Joel asked his neighbor for help in babysitting Sarah. 

Summary: Pov: You and Joel prepared to celebrate baby Sarah’s first birthday together.

Words count: 1.5k

A/N: I’m trying to make this as a rom-com, hope you like my new series! This is part 6 of Where It All Starts. But it can also be read as a standalone. I'm beyond happy that many of you liked it so I hope you enjoy the next parts. Stay tuned and love you!

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20

Thank God Joel still treated you the same way before he confessed his love to you that night. You acted like nothing happened and he did the same. 

“Thank you for walking me home, Joel.” Joel always walked you home even though your house was exactly next to his.

“Anytime, darlin’.” This was the second time he called you darling. Your heart jumped.

“I-uh-I forgot to tell you. Sarah’s birthday is coming. I was wondering if we could celebrate together.” He put his hand behind his neck.

“Oh really? It’s her first birthday! We should hold a party!” You jumped excitedly.

“A party? I don’t know (y/n). I mean-I don’t have anyone to invite beside my brother.” Joel put his hands in his pocket.

“I can invite my friends from the cafe. Let’s give Sarah the best first birthday ever. She deserves it.” You bumped Joel on the upper arm.

“Yeah, she deserves the best.” Joel nodded.

“So, what should we do?” He crossed his arms.

“I’ll think about it and we can talk about it again tomorrow.” 

“Okay. Thanks. Good night, darlin’.” Joel kissed your cheek.

“Good night, Joel.” You kissed him back.

You shrieked as you closed the door. Joel Miller just called you darling. After what you said to him and he still called you darling? His words made you sway. And the kiss on the cheek felt different. Joel kissed your cheek every night but today definitely felt different. It felt more loving if you had to describe it. Was it because he called you darling? Was it because he was still nice to you even though you broke his heart? Then you remembered you told him that you weren’t ready for a relationship. You were the one who asked him not to fall in love with you but why were you swayed now? You hit your head to get a grip of yourself. You spent your night thinking about how you could make Sarah’s birthday special. You took out your notebook and wrote your ideas about the cake design, colors, decorations and everything. Trying to neglect your thoughts about how perfect Joel was.

It was another day and you prepared dinner at Joel’s house just like usual. You and Joel had dinner together almost every night since you babysat Sarah. Either you cooked for the two of you, ordered deliveries, Joel brought takeouts, or ate out. But tonight you decided to cook. 

“You’re home early.” You turned to look at Joel who just got home from work.

“Today was peaceful.” He chuckled.

“Dinner will be ready in 10. So you can take a shower first, sir.” You bowed, acting like a maid.

“I’ll be back.” Joel chuckled as he shook his head at your joke.

*10 minutes later*

Joel went down the stairs looking fresh after a shower.

“Smells good.” Joel sniffed.

“You always said that.” You scoffed.

“I’m being honest.” Joel glared at you.

“Well, thank you.” You smiled.

You and Joel dug in and ate the meal you cooked.

“So, I’ve got some ideas for Sarah’s first birthday party.” You took out your notebook.

“Uh-huh. What do you got?” 

“I was thinking of a pink themed kind of birthday party. What do you think?” You squinted your eyes.

“Hmm, how about purple? I’m seeing Sarah as a purple girl.” Joel voted purple.

“Yes sir. Purple it is.” You wrote purple on your notebook.

“About the cake, I have talked to my baker and he has this amazing design in mind. You’ll love it.” 

“I’ll leave it to you, miss.” 

Sarah’s Birthday D-1

You and Joel decorated the house with purple flowers and purple balloons. You used helium for the balloon so it could fly to the ceilings. 

"Never meant to cause you any sorrow~"

Joel sang as he held the balloon pumper as a microphone near his mouth. 

You turned your head right away as you heard a high-pitched voice singing. 

"Seriously?" You put your hands to your waist staring at him. 

"Never meant to cause you any pain" Joel closed his eyes and continued singing.

You inhaled some of the helium and jumped to the couch. 

"I only wanted to one time to see you laughing.."  

You sang and Joel stopped because he was impressed by you.

"I only wanted to see you in the purple rain" 

You started to sing like a real singer on the stage but you were just on Joel's couch. 

"Purple rain

Purple rain" 

Joel inhaled another helium and sang with you together. The two of you burst into laughter. You couldn't stop laughing, your stomach hurts.

"Okay, okay. Stop it. My stomach hurts from laughing." You pressed your stomach. 

"I didn't know you like Prince." You bumped Joel's arm.

"Purple rain is like my jam." Joel squinted his eyes.

"Wait, did you choose purple because of the song? Purple as in purple rain?" You furrowed your brows confused as you joined the dots. He shrugged.

"I..may have chosen purple because of purple rain." He admitted. 

"You're sooo predictable." You shook your head and poked his chest with your index finger.

D-day

The birthday cake was big and purple. It was a two tier cake with pearls and sparkly butterflies around it. You thanked your baker for making Sarah a beautiful birthday cake. 

Sarah wore a purple dress with a purple bow tie bandana headband around her head. You and Joel had bought them a few days ago at the mall. 

"Happy birthday, you cute little girl!" One of your employees from the cafe shook her little hand gently. 

"Whoaa, who is this pretty little girl here?" Another friend from your cafe came to her while baby Sarah was in Joel's arms. 

"Happy birthday, purple girl." Flo came and stroked her head. 

"Say thank you, babygirl." Joel bounced Sarah and she babbled. 

"You're welcome." Flo gave you a gift box for Sarah and you put it on the table piled with presents. 

Everyone was happy to celebrate Sarah's birthday. They were like a second family to her. She spent every day with them and you at the cafe. And they loved her too. 

“Hey, you old fucker. And hey there you, babygirl. Happy birthday, my sweet little niece.” An unfamiliar man approached the two of you and kissed baby Sarah’s head.

“Tommy!” Joel hugged his younger brother.

“(y/n), this is Tommy, my younger brother. Tommy this is (y/n). She’s uh-she’s my neighbor. She’s the one who came up with all of these.” Joel introduced you to Tommy and pointed around the house.

“Hi, Tommy. I’m (y/n). Nice to meet you. Joel helped a lot too.” You shook Tommy’s hand.

“So you guys-uh-together?” Tommy asked.

“We’re neighbors.” You answered and Joel nodded.

“Okay. If you want to say it that way. I’m sure you guys are more than that anyways.” Tommy raised both of his opened palms in the air. 

“Okay, now I’m gonna mingle and see if I can talk to that pretty girl.” Tommy walked away and talked to a girl, who was apparently to be Flo. 

“I didn’t know you had a brother.” You chuckled.

“Well, you know about it now.” Joel kissed Sarah’s cheek.

“He seems..” You pouted as you were looking for the right word.

“Friendly. Very much friendly.” You smirked.

“Yep, he is.” 

“Why don’t we gather everyone and sing happy birthday?” You rested your hand at Joel’s shoulder then to Sarah’s head.

"Everyone! Joel here has something to say." You gathered everyone's attention.

"What? I thought you were the one who-" Joel whispered to you and bumped your arm.

"Shh.. come on do the speech." You whispered back to him. 

"I didn't prepare anythin'." He panicked.

"You can do it. Come on." You patted his back. 

"Hi-uh-I'm Joel. I'm sure you all know Sarah. She's turning one today. Thank you for takin' care of her every day at the cafe. I really appreciate it. You are all a second family to her. Why don't we-uh-sing happy birthday to my little girl?" Joel was sweating. You could see it dripping to the back of his neck but you just chuckled. You found him cute this way.

*Everyone started to sing*

Joel sang half way and he stopped singing so you turned to him. His eyes were locked to a woman who just came into the house. She was his ex-wife and her current boyfriend. 

"Joel.." You stroked his upper arm. 

"Hold Sarah for me?" He passed Sarah to your arms. 

"Okay." You took her from his arms and held her, bouncing her a bit. 

Joel sighed as he walked towards his ex-wife. He didn't let her see Sarah. He dragged her outside the house avoiding everyone to see the drama that would happen. 

"Everything's gonna be okay, baby. Your dad got this. Let's just be happy and celebrate your birthday. Today's your special day." You talked to baby Sarah and kissed her forehead.

To be continued…

Taglist:

@lovelyygirl8 @skysmiller @moonlightdivine @crocodiile @angie2274 @pulchritudinousrogers @peqchsoup @msecho19 @happinessinthebeing @nyotamalfoy @nakedmoondiaries @dzaga890 @pa1g3-t0mm0 @prettysbliss @wanniiieeee @one-sweet-gubler @x-ap0llo-x @feministfanboi @ordinarylokix @afterglowsb-tch13 @padgraysonssram8re @tomorrowseverything @hummusxx @iranispunk @mrsyixingunicorn10 @likeanimagepassingby2 @mediocrewallflow3r @pedr0swh0r3 @mxtokko @dorck26 @cascactus28 @cheyxfu @stupidthoughtsinwriting @undermoonlightwalk @bigmoodyjoody @humanbug @sarahhxx03 @krisviciousx @quixscentsposts @dgct2 @dgraysonss @heybabyshae @fluffyspaceprincess @toottmblr @avengersfan25 @xixxala @dianaffddz @onzayhe @violetwitchmcu @welcometomyworldwithoutrules @kelh27

[dylan-o-yumm]

Little Moments - Leon S. Kennedy/reader

It has been a hot minute... I’m sorry I’m not making an amazing come back with DMC or Nero content, but hey at least it's still Capcom? Anyway, Leon is babygirl 

Also read here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/46338547

Words: 6.6k Summary: Leon rescued both you and Ashley from the events of RE4, now the thereof you are "relaxing" in a hotel, unwinding before Leon has to take you both home in the morning.

Part 1, Part 2

“I could sleep for a year.”

“Just a year? Rookie numbers.”

“Are you guys kidding me? I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep a wink after everything I’ve seen over the last few days.” Ashley wrapped her arms around herself and looked wearily around the cozy hotel room, as if a crazy, plaga-infected Spanish person was going to jump out from the shadows. You couldn’t blame her for being so on edge, you’d be the same if Leon wasn’t there with you.

Ashley was the president's daughter and you were… just someone who was in that damn village at the wrong damn time. Leon was a special agent of some sort, somebody the president sent to find his daughter— but Leon just so happened to find you first. He saved you. And then he saved you again. And again, and again. No matter what happened, you knew Leon would be there like a knight in shining armor.

He made you feel safe but, the poor guy looked like shit and needed to finally rest. He had done so much work, busted his ass for— fuck, was it really only a day? Two days? You can’t remember how long you were there, let alone how long Leon was there looking for Ashley — and by proxy, you as well.

“Ash, it’s fine. We’re out of the village now. And even if some of the Iluminados freaks managed to escape, well… you saw how they were after their lord and savior kicked the bucket.” You turned to face Leon, gesturing for a little reassurance to come from him. Hopefully hearing it come from Leon would calm Ashley’s nerves somewhat.

Leon blinked and his lips parted as if he hadn’t been listening to a single word that had been said since he commented on how you wanted to sleep for a year. However he snapped back to hero mode rather quickly, looking around the room while he stretched his back muscles.

“I’ll stay up and make sure you’re safe. My job isn’t done yet.”

You and Ashley both shared a look.

“I think out of all of us, you need sleep the most, Leon.” Ashley told him with a concerned look on her face and you nodded in agreement. You opened your mouth to add your insight but Leon raised his hand to stop you, already knowing that you were going to demand that he sleep before you knock him out with a frying pan.

“I dozed off a few times at the village, I’ll be fine.” He shrugged as if it really didn’t bother him but you could see the exhaustion all over his face and in his shoulders, his muscles. Hell he had an aura around him that beamed like a bright neon sign that made you tired just by looking at him.

“It’s just one night. I’ll take you both home tomorrow and then I can go home and sleep for as long as I want, how’s that sound?”

“Leon…” Ashley sighed but you beat her to the punch.

“I’m too tired to argue. Just, at least sit down or something. I’ll make you some coffee,” you sighed and rubbed your forehead where a sharp headache started to irritate you. You dealt with too many loud noises; explosions, gunshots, too many bright lights from flash grenades and fires from molotovs, and the screaming and yelling of the Illuminados or Ashley or yourself. Everything from that damn village and the island, up until the point of getting out of the ocean after a long, loud and bumpy ride on a jet ski, was all building up into one big headache.

Leon didn’t have anything else to say after that, opting to do as you said and taking a seat on the couch by the window. You moved to the small kitchen and started boiling water while Ashley said she was going to go have a shower.

The three of you were still pretty filthy. The ocean water washed some of the grime off, but the stench still lingered and you all had scrapes, cuts and bruises. Your body ached from all the running around and getting thrown about and whacked and hit and kicked by the crazy villagers. Leon took the brunt of it all though, which is why you were worried about him the most. He really needed to rest. For a week. Or in your words; a year.

You all did.

Once the coffee was made, you brought a mug out for Leon, pausing for a moment to watch as he yawned so intensely his eyes started watering. Though, when he noticed you looking at him, he quickly shut his mouth and rubbed his eyes, pretending he hadn’t just been fighting off the urge to sleep. He gave you a little half smile and went back to unwrapping the bandage from his arm to check one of his many wounds.

You could have teased him for yawning, you could have angrily told him to get some sleep. But you didn’t.

“Need any stitching up?” You asked as you placed his mug on the coffee table in front of him, holding a second mug in your hand and moving it to your lap as you sat down on the couch beside him. The heat from the mug warmed your hands and made you feel more at ease.

”No. I could do with a good massage though,” he replied with a small grunt, rolling his shoulder out and you got a good look at his bicep. There was a scratch from an ax being thrown at him that, thankfully, only just nicked him. A long, but thankfully, not deep gash from his battle against Saddler. And finally a large bruise that spanned from his shoulder down to his elbow in an odd splotchy pattern. You weren’t sure what that one was from but you could take at least a dozen guesses.

You weren’t sure if he was asking you to give him a massage or not— he sure did like his cheesy one-liners and little quips, maybe this was one of them?

“Get in line, buddy. I don’t think I’ll physically be able to get out of bed in the morning,” yeah, that was a good common ground to avoid any confusion and possible embarrassment.

“It will be tough, yeah…” you could tell he was speaking from experience. How many crazy missions like this had this poor man been through? “You handled yourself well out there. I want you to know that.”

He turned his gaze to your direction but he didn’t quite meet your eye. He sounded genuine though and it made your heart skip a beat.

“You mean by… running, hiding, screaming. Oh yeah I handled myself very well,” you chuckled sarcastically and brought your cup of coffee to your lips, taking a sip.

“Hey, just because you didn’t kill anything, doesn’t mean you weren’t tough or brave,” now he finally met your eye. His own eyes, so incredibly blue that it was hard to remember them glossing over and turning a dull red from the plagas only a few hours ago.

Was that a few hours ago? It felt like it had been days since that happened.

You didn’t know how to respond, and thankfully Leon spoke up again before you could.

“Are you drinking coffee?”

“Maybe.”

“You’re not trying to stay awake, are you?”

“I don’t think even coffee could help me stay awake at this point.” Was it a lie? No. Was it a small truth that you admitted so that you didn’t have to reveal the big truth? Possibly. You were definitely too tired for coffee to keep you awake, but you were also trying to stay awake, at least a little longer, so that Leon wouldn’t have to suffer through the night alone. You couldn’t imagine what kind of thoughts he must have when it got quiet, when he wasn’t busying himself by running around castles or villages, or killing monsters.

You were tired. But so was Leon and this was the least you could do for him… You just couldn’t tell him that’s what you were doing, or he would probably knock your ass out.

You’re not a fighter. You’re not a cool secret agent with gadgets, nor were you a military trained soldier who could turn anything into a weapon. You couldn’t do the things Leon could do, you couldn’t protect him, you couldn’t save him from monsters…

Staying awake for a night just to keep him company so that he didn’t have to suffer alone? It wasn’t grand, it was nothing like the magnitude of favors and rescues he had done for you over the last however many days. But it was something. You couldn’t really do much else.

Maybe you should give him that damn massage.

“So why are you doing all of this, Leon?” You asked, wanting to change the subject so he wouldn’t figure out your little plan. He raised an eyebrow at you over his cup of coffee and you elaborated. “You came to the village because of the president's orders, right? To save Ashley… So what made you want to work for the president of all people? Or is that classified information?” You teased, knowing damn well it could definitely be very classified.

Leon chuckled.

“It’s a little classified, yeah. But I will tell you that… I met a girl a few years ago. And I want to make sure she’s safe,” he nodded softly to himself, as if reminding himself why he just went through all the horrors of the village. His already soft features softened even more as he thought about this girl.

“Is she your girlfriend?”

“I think that’s illegal considering she’s a child,” he smirked slightly, as you looked down at your lap in embarrassment. “She escaped Raccoon City with me and another woman named Claire.”

“Is she your girlfriend?” You asked again, emphasis on the ‘she’ and a little teasing smile on your lips.

“Suddenly interested in my love life, huh?”

“Maybe I’m just trying to be a good wingman for Ashley. You know she’s crushing hard for you.”

“Oh this is for Ashley, huh?” His lips curl in amusement and you shrug, playing innocent. You both smile at one another as the world seems to stop spinning for a moment. Everything was quieter, the sound of rushing water from Ashley’s shower had even been drowned out, and now it was just you and Leon. You could breathe, you could take your time and just look at him, taking in the fine details of his face; the color of his irises, the sharpness of his jaw, the dip of his cupid's bow, the pinkness of his lips and the strongness of his chin.

Beautiful.

Inside and out, this man was… beautiful.

He was looking at you too, but it was different. His eyes dimmed, no longer shining along with his smile… it was like a part of him had left and gone somewhere else, no longer sitting right beside you. He looked through you, barely seeing you at all as he reminded himself of his job and why he was here. His smile faded and his eyes dropped, refusing to meet your gaze anymore.

You were admiring everything about him, and he was slowly drifting away from you. Like two ships passing in the night.

“Look… I can’t— I can’t have someone—“ he sighed and scooted closer to you on the couch, resting his gloved hand over the top of yours that was still holding your coffee mug. He was warm, even the leather of his glove was warm and it grounded you– it was a little prickly from where it had torn and frayed a little, from welding guns and knives all day long. His hand squeezed yours once, his pinky resting against the pulse point on your wrist. “I just can’t. Sorry...”

He was definitely not talking about Ashley anymore. You were only teasing and joking around about his relationship status, and you knew that he was far too good for you. Thanks to your low self esteem, and your confidence in Leon never being capable of looking at you the way you looked at him… that ship sailed hours and hours ago, practically when you very first laid eyes on him… But his words still felt like a knife to your heart for some reason.

You blinked once, shaking yourself out of the trance you had put yourself in, and your lips parted. You weren’t sure if you wanted to say something, or if you were going to say something, or if you should have said anything at all. But thankfully—

“Leon! Your turn! You stink. Who knew saving some damsels in distress was such tough work, huh?” Ashley teased as she burst out of the bathroom looking completely refreshed and clean. Her hair was twisted up into her towel while she wore the same clothes she wore in the village. Maybe you could go in search for some robes the three of you could wear or something— at least just for the night. You could go buy some clothes in the morning before the three of you headed back to your respective homes.

You and Leon jumped apart and refused to look at one another, as if you had been caught doing something naughty by your parents. If a hand on yours was considered naughty then you never wanted to be pure. Leon took a final sip of his coffee before placing the mug back down on the coffee table, and when he stood, he looked at Ashley, vaguely gesturing towards her. “Will you two be okay while I’m gone? I’ll only be a few minutes.”

“Leon please. The only thing we’re in danger from right now is your body odor,” she teased even more, skipping over to grab Leon’s arm and ushering him towards the bathroom. “Im stronger than I look, don’t make me wrestle you into the shower, Leon.”

You blushed at the thought of Ashley and Leon anywhere near a shower together.

“Alright,” he chuckled but paused in the doorway of the bathroom, finally looking towards you again, but you were silent and didn’t quite know how to feel or react. “Yell if you need me, okay?” It was directed towards the both of you but his eyes were burning a hole into your face.

You simply nodded. And Leon disappeared behind the bathroom door.

———————————————————

“Need me to tuck you in or something?” Leon asked teasingly as he walked over to you. Ashley was fast asleep in one of the single beds, having passed out when you went for your shower after Leon. The three of you were clean, dressed in robes (well Leon wasn't), all comfy— but very tired. No amount of coffee could help.

You were sitting on the armchair by the second single bed, (there were only two but Leon said he was fine sleeping on the couch— this was obviously before he stupidly agreed to just not sleep at all for the night) a book in your lap, one that the hotel just had laying in the small bookshelf. It was terrible and not your idea of a good time at all, but there wasn’t much else to do. You could watch tv but you didn’t want the noise to keep Ashley up.

“Tell you a bedtime story?” He offered once you didn’t say anything to his first teasing question. “I don’t know how good of a story teller I am…”

“I'm fine, Leon. Thanks though,” you smiled up at him. You weren’t mad and you weren’t holding a grudge, you were just confused and felt a little awkward from your previous conversation with him. And with you acting awkward it only made things even more awkward— it… had been a rough few days.

“Okay…” he watched you skeptically for a moment. “Are you worried about falling asleep? I had the same problem after Raccoon City.”

“No-“

“Because I don’t mind staying up, and I can sit closer to your bed if it makes you feel any better?”

“Leon-“

“Ashley’s already knocked out so she won’t mind if I’m keeping an extra close eye on you until you fall asleep.”

“I'm fine. I swear. I just don’t feel like sleeping right now is all…” You looked up at him and smiled, closing your book to lightly wack his stomach with it. He took a step back and placed his hand over the spot you just walked, looking down with a faint smile.

“Right…” he nodded, sighing as he fell back onto your bed, spreading his legs like all men do, and resting his elbows on his knees. His upper body was leaning towards you where you sat on the armchair in between the window and the bed and, feeling a heat make its way onto your cheeks, you quickly went back to reading your book.

“What are you reading?” His voice was lower and softer than it was just a second ago, it sent shivers down your spine.

“I couldn’t tell you. I haven’t taken in a single word since I picked it up,” you looked back over at him and smiled with a small shrug as if to say ‘what can you do?’

“Riveting stuff. I guess it’s better than fighting monsters though.”

“I wouldn’t know, you fought all the monsters for me,” you sassed, as if you were disappointed that you didn’t get to fight anything, when in reality, you know you would have died if you had to go up against one of those crazy villagers. And Leon was taking on half of Spain it felt like, plus those that grew into large monsters with tentacles and big yellow eyes and slime and spikes and goop.

“Well hey, you threw a flash grenade at that Mendez guy for me.”

“I forgot to pull the pin…”

“Yeah, but he looked pretty pissed off when it hit his shin. It was a good throw,”

“I was aiming for his head…” You bit your lip.

Leon sighed and looked down, not knowing how to find the bright side of that little tidbit. A beat passed before you started to chuckle, and so did he. “I know one thing you did that saved my ass.”

“What’s that?” Your tone was humorous, thinking he was going to tease you again. It wasn’t like you did much, especially compared to Leon. Just the fact that he said ‘I know ONE thing you did that saved my ass’ is proof that you obviously didn’t do enough. However, maybe that’s for the best as you definitely would have gotten into even more trouble if you started being reckless.

“Luis’ lab…” he looked down at his hands as he spoke.”I was losing it, I could hardly see, I couldn’t move my body properly. I think I even started hallucinating.” His eyebrows jumped a little as he recalled those moments in his head. It wasn’t very pleasant for you either, but Leon had a lot more of those moments than you did. “I don’t think Ashley and I would have made it if you weren’t there,”

“I think I was just yelling at you the whole time. I was scared.” It was true. You were scared of losing both him and Ashley, and having to find a way off the island on your own. You recalled yelling at Leon while he stumbled through the hallways with an unconscious Ashley in his arms. ‘Hurry the fuck up, Leon!’ and ‘don’t fall down! Get back up! Now!’

“Your yelling got me to keep moving, gave me something to focus on.”

“Well... You’re welcome,” you whispered, looking down at your lap bashfully. Your teeth worried your bottom lip, making it feel a bit tingly and numb. Once you gained the courage to look back up and meet Leon’s gaze — his eyes already on you, watching you intently — you exhaled slowly through your nose and faintly shook your head.

“You’re so annoying,” you whispered.

“Yeah,” he whispered back.

He didn’t look amused, more like... he was agreeing with your statement. He didn’t even look like a kicked puppy, he had just accepted that it was his time to be knocked back down a couple pegs.

His eyes focused on yours while yours focused on his lips. God he was so annoying. And it was even more annoying knowing that he wasn’t doing any of this on purpose. He was just... like that. It was impossible not to like him, not to dream up some fantasy of you and him being closer, more intimate. Impossible not to imagine how soft his lips might be and how his hair might feel between your fingers, and how his rough hands might caress you so gently.

A heart breaker. That’s what he was.

Even Ashley was in the same trap as you — could you even call it a trap when Leon wasn’t aware he had set it, and you and Ashley had both practically willingly jumped into it? You heard her little hints, her little compliments. Calling him dashing and trying to get him to work with her once his mission was over. And you couldn't even blame her! You wanted more time with him as well.

“I wish I never met you,” you whispered, more softly than you had previously been speaking.

“Where would you be without me?” He whispered back just as gently.

His pearly whites faintly peaked out from behind his lips, barely visible but just enough to know that he was fighting off a smile. The corners of your lips twitched upward slightly as you fought off your own smile.

You leaned in.

He didn’t move away.

You leaned in more.

The hint of a smile had left his face and his eyes dropped down to your lips. His own lips parted and his brows twitching- itching to pull together, as he fought with himself. You could see it all — how he wanted to run, how he wanted to pull away, how he was worried and maybe even a little scared. But that wasn’t all, you could also see how he wanted to lean in and give you exactly what you wanted, because he wanted it too.

Conflicting.

You moved in gently and cautiously, your eyelids slowly closing. You weren’t sure if he moved in towards you, or if you managed to get closer to him in your eagerness, but you could feel his breath against your skin a second after your eyes closed. Your noses were the first to touch.

You breathed in, and Leon let out a shaky breath that you couldn’t only feel, but hear as well since you were so close to him. You angled your head to the side slightly, feeling your way out with the tip of your nose as it slowly and gently slid down the side of his nose bridge and poked the inner corner of his cheek.

Your lips ghosted his, feeling him ever so slightly. The softness, the warmth. You shuddered.

Your lips parted, so did his. Your lips pressed softly against his top lip while his pressed against your bottom lip, delighting yourself in how soft his lips were and how inviting they felt. You could only hope you had the same effect on him. He wasn’t pulling away, he leaned in closer, much to your surprise and his hand slowly reached out to lay flat against your knee.

You applied just the tiniest amount of pressure with your lips before pulling back, needing air. Your cheeks were warm, your eyes glossy, and your lips just a little wet from where Leon’s lips had pressed.

You licked your lips, wanting to taste more of him. He did the same. The both of you staring into each other's souls, eyes flickering to each other's lips, then eyes, then back to lips. Not a word was uttered between you two before he leaned forward this time and pressed his lips against yours.

Your heart skipped a beat.

His kiss was just as, if not more, gentle than yours, thinking he would be a little rough or just— anything but so gentle. As if you were more fragile than glass, more fragile than the finest porcelain. Like you were thin paper sat out in the rain, and one little breeze would tear you to pieces.

He kissed you. He wanted this. What was he talking about earlier with his ‘I can’t’? He was doing it right now and you never ever wanted him to stop.

Keeping your lips connected to his, you slowly rose from your seat, hands coming to slide over Leon’s shoulders. He leaned backwards — only his lower body, while his lips refused to leave yours, as he gave you space to sit down with him on the bed. His large, warm hands slid around your waist, pulling you closer and keeping you close.

Your lips parted for a short breath only to close around his bottom lip a second after. But when his lips parted, he didn’t bother gaining more air, he simply worked your mouth open and found your tongue with his own. The sound of wet lip smacking soon filled the room, along with faint panting and pauses for quick breaths — gulping down air when you had the chance.

His hands squeezed your hips and yours fisted the collar of his tight shirt, pulling and not letting him go. A way to ground yourself. Just an hour ago you were so content with the idea of him being too good for you. Knowing that he would never see you the way you saw him. But now here he was, kissing your lips so softly but so desperately.

Your heart was beating so fast inside your chest, trying to explode out of you.

“Leon...” you panted breathily against his mouth, having nothing else to say besides his name. A name you never thought you’d have the opportunity to whimper out like that. You whimpered it once before when you rolled your ankle after running away from a crazy wolf-dog thing, and needed to use Leon as a crutch for a moment, but this was different.

You weren’t sure if you leaned forward or if Leon pulled you closer but he slowly fell back down on the bed, and you followed pursuit. The pillow sunk beneath his head and his hands slid from your hips to your lower back, sending goosebumps all over your skin. You’ll never understand how someone can kick open doors and barrels and people’s heads, and also be so tender and gentle behind closed doors.

He was firm, sturdy as you laid on top of him. You could feel his heart beating against your chest and he could probably feel yours as well. His heart was beating fast, but strong and mighty, and even when he was distracted like this — not alert and ready to defend, you still felt so incredibly safe.

Your tongue pushed its way into his mouth, exploring and massaging where you could. You were thankful that you brushed your teeth when you had a shower earlier, and considering the fact that Leon tasted minty and refreshing, you could only assume he did as well.

His tongue slid against yours, flicking against the roof of your mouth before he pulled back to refill his lungs. You didn’t even have time to share a look before he was back to kissing you.

One hand slid into his sandy blond hair, pulling a sweet and quiet moan from deep within his chest. Your fingers slid against his scalp and teased the roots of his hair, while your other hand laid flat over his pectoral, feeling his muscle and firmness and his strength.

Your movements were slow and steady, like liquid pouring over his skin, there was no rush, there was no danger. It was just you and Leon, sharing kisses and slowly morphing into one being. If love wasn’t this then you didn’t want it.

“Leon... hmmf,” saying his name for no apparent reason other than to just say it. Your robe slipped as you raised your leg and bent your knee, hugging him with your thighs. Leon’s gloved hand slid down to feel the soft, exposed skin of your thigh and you gasped into his mouth. The feeling of his soft fingertips with the scratchy leather sent a heat all throughout your body.

He, of course, didn’t take a robe from you earlier, opting to stay in his filthy clothes since they were more practical for if he needed to defend you and Ashley again. You didn’t think he would have to defend the two of you at all, now that you were off the island and away from the village… but neither you nor Ashley were back home just yet, so he couldn’t afford to take any risks. He was sure determined and that alone made your insides all warm and fuzzy.

His hand gripped your thigh, but his lips stopped moving. You took the opportunity to worship him; to press kisses to the corner of his lips, then two on his cheek — one right beside his ear and the other closer to his jaw as you moved down to his neck.

His skin was so soft, save for the few cuts and scrapes. He lifted his head, giving you more room and you eagerly obliged, leaving soft pecks and wet, open mouthed kisses, little licks and faint nibbles. He hummed in pleasure and it made your whole chest flood with pride.

Pressing a kiss against his adam's apple, you went to move to the other side of his neck, wanting to give his right side equal treatment, but he turned his head. You weren’t sure if he was trying to stop you or not, so you pulled back just to make sure he was okay.

He looked perfectly fine. His cheeks were a soft shade of red that you would now commit to memory for the rest of your life– probably your new favorite color.. His eyes were half lidded and a little glossy, making the different shades of blue in his irises shine brightly even in the darkly lit room. It was impossible to have a fear of drowning when you looked into them.

Though he wasn’t looking at you.

His head was turned to the side, looking over at Ashley who was still sleeping like a rock. Her lips were parted and she breathed heavily, close to snoring but not quite.

It was only when you shifted your body a little, wanting to back off a bit in case he was uncomfortable, that you felt your effect on him. Your thigh felt his excitement, he pursed his lips together and closed his eyes for a moment to focus on his breathing.

Was this really happening?

“She won’t wake up,” you whispered to him and his eyes opened, looking cautiously into your eyes, then back to Ashley, then back to you one final time. You wanted him, and he wanted you, and you had both survived the horrors you encountered over the last few days. You both deserved a break. You both deserved this.

His brow furrowed knitting together tightly. Though the slight upward angle in his brows made him look like a wounded puppy.

“My job isn’t done yet,” he swallowed, his adam’s apple bobbing. “I need to stay focused.”

You deflated.

“Right.” You nodded once and crawled off of him. Maybe it was for the best, you didn’t want to go too far with him after knowing him for only 48 hours. Though going through copious amounts of trauma together did make for a great bonding experience and therefore it felt like you had known him for months.

You sat on your ankles, hands on your knees. Your robe was open just enough to show your legs but the rest of you was covered. One hand left your knee to wipe your swollen and wet lips, basically wiping away Leon’s kiss, before you tucked your hair behind your ear.

You couldn’t tear your eyes away from your lap, feeling embarrassed and maybe even a little ashamed. Were you wrong to think Leon was into it? Into you? It definitely felt like he was, but maybe he snapped out of it once he realized you weren’t that lady in the red dress and the high heels.

As if he could sense your downward spiral, Leon’s hand found yours, the one still resting on your knee, and squeezed it reassuringly. “But I can… stay here?”

You finally looked up and met his ocean blue eyes. He had sat up somewhat, his back resting against the headboard of the bed. He looked just as unsure and nervous as you did. He obviously didn’t have much experience with this sort of stuff, which only made him even more endearing. The poor guy just fought monsters for a living and never had time to slow down and relax.

“While you fall asleep,” he added gently. He wanted to stay with you? In bed? Did that mean he wasn’t just using work as an excuse to not go further with you? He really did just want to stay alert and not have any distractions while the president's daughter was in his care.

“If you want?” He pressed one more time. He was giving you big, puppy dog eyes— knowing him, it was unintentional too. Even if you didn’t want him to stay with you, there was no way you could refuse him when he gave you that face. But you did want him to stay of course.

You didn’t need to say so.

You curled up beside him, sliding your body under the covers. Leon didn’t smell great, but he was at least clean enough— his clothes weren’t covered in blood and dirt but the smell lingered a bit. You weren’t sure if his sweat or the seawater from the jetski ride over was what rid his tight shirt of all the muck. Or maybe he washed them in the shower and dried them quickly afterwards. That would be nice.

Your hand splayed over his chest, feeling his heartbeat. Your nose pressed against his ribs, finding an odd sense of comfort in the smell that lingered. It was Leon after all, it was proof he was there with you, reminding you you were safe even when you had your eyes closed.

His arm was around your neck, letting you use his bicep as a pillow. His heart was beating rather fast as you snuggled into his side but after a few minutes it slowed back down and fell in tune with the steady rise and fall of his chest. Leon turned his head and pressed his lips against your forehead, letting them linger for a moment. And his arm, the one you weren’t laying on, moved over towards you, his hand stroking through your hair.

Cocooned in Mr. Leon S. Kennedy’s arms.

“Get some sleep. I’ll look after you.”

And there go your plans to stay awake with him.

—————————————————————

After waking up in Leon’s arms, you got up and did your morning ritual with Ashley. Breakfast, brushing your teeth, brushing your hair, getting dressed, etc. Leon stood by the door rushing you both as it got close to 9am. A tired but teasing “come on, ladies” came from him as he ushered you both out the door.

Ashley was the first to go home. Being the president's daughter and all. You said your goodbyes to her in the car, opting to not go into the big building with all the security guards. Leon escorted her back to her father — after you and Ashley exchanged emails of course, and by the time she had been delivered home safely, it was already dinner time. The flight from Spain to America chewed up a few hours.

You and Leon didn’t really have a chance to talk when Ashley was around. Though you thought that once it was just the two of you, he might mention something from last night or maybe even be a little more touchy feely. A hand on your thigh while he drove or maybe he would reach for your hand. Maybe press a kiss to the back of your palm once in a while or lean over to kiss your cheek at every stop sign and red light.

He didn’t do any of that.

He barely spoke. You barely spoke. Maybe it was because these were your final moments with him, that you didn’t know what to say or how to act or what to do. How do you say goodbye to someone who saved your life time and time again? How do you just watch him leave without somehow repaying him? Why did he have to leave at all? Why did you have to go back home?

You just did. He just did. It just had to be like this.

Finally once you arrived at your home, Leon got out of the car first, coming around to let you out of the passenger side like a gentleman. You smiled and stepped out, awkwardly hugging yourself as you walked with him to the front door.

This was it wasn’t it? The final goodbye.

You bent down to flip over the corner of the welcome mat, picking up your spare house key and unlocking the door. You hadn’t been home in weeks. Everything was dark and dusty and that homey scent had faded away until you barely recognised where you were.

The door was open but you were yet to step inside. You turned to face Leon first, your hand gripping the door handle tightly until your knuckles turned white.

“…Do you... wanna come in?” You asked hopefully, just wanting to spend more time with him, wanting to feel safe for just a few minutes longer. You wouldn’t be able to feel safe once he walked away. And that foolish little part inside you hoped you could pick up where you left off last night.

But Leon pulled a face. Not out of disgust or hatred or anything bad, he was just… his face was saying ‘no.’ The awkward smile that wasn’t really a smile, more like a ‘man, I’m about to hurt your feelings even though I don’t want to,’ smile.

“I guess not, huh?” You looked down and nodded distantly, realising that this really was goodbye then. Part of you wanted to be angry, for everything that had happened last night, for the feelings you had developed. However, Leon’s ocean blue eyes and his silly floppy hair with those pink, kissable lips... how could you be mad at that?

“It’s been a long couple of days. I should get home.”

“No, yeah. Of course,” you awkwardly shuffled on your feet, avoiding eye contact.

“I’ll probably have another mission lined up for me when I get back to work.” Leon’s voice was quiet and his shoulders were tense. You couldn’t tell what he was thinking or feeling but he definitely didn’t look comfortable.

“Yeah.” You nodded slowly, keeping your gaze on your shoes that inched closer towards the inside of your home, wanting to run away and hide.

One beat passed. A sigh left both of you at the same time.

“I’ll see you ‘round, (Y/N)...” you blinked. He was leaving already? Just like that? You finally looked up to meet his eyes, wanting a look at those pools of blue one more time... but he had already turned around and started walking away. He was clearly eager to get away from you, eager to get home and back into his work.

You wouldn't cry over someone you couldn't have...

“Goodbye, Leon.”

You stepped inside your home and closed the door behind yourself.

[subtle-as-an-earthquake]

So I know this post is pretty overdue and a bit superfluous by this point maybe, but since I am now back home and finally have time to sit down and write down my thoughts about the last few days, I thought I'd still do a recap post of my experience of the Dublin shows (and a bit about my trip to Dublin in general). Just for anyone who might be interested or even just for me to remember everything by!

Having said that though, I don’t actually know how to even begin putting into words what this trip meant to me 🥺 I’ve said this before, but after seeing them in June and thinking that was it for the foreseeable future, getting to see them again so soon, twice, and it being the very last two shows of the tour as well, felt like an incredible opportunity and huge gift and I could not be more grateful for it ❤️

Recap of Dublin shows 3 & 4 and some more pics below the cut!

I flew in from Amsterdam on Tuesday morning with a Dutch friend, and we met up with another friend of mine who flew in from London at the same time (my London friend went with me to Tuesday's gig, and my Amsterdam friend to Thursday's gig)

London friend and I then headed to the 3Arena to queue up outside and it was fucking freezing lmao. But we played ‘guess the Arctic Monkeys song from the intro’ and had a chance to catch up so all in all it wasn’t too bad, and it’s always so much fun being surrounded by fellow arctic monkeys fans who love them enough to queue up for hours in the cold <3

Once we were inside, we legged it to the stage and then spent another two hours trying to defend our (pretty good, very central) spots and trying not to think about the fact that we had to pee, as you do. We happened to be standing next to a group of Dutch speaking girls, and it turned out one of them had also met Miles in Amsterdam recently, at the same signing I’d been at! Such a small world. But they were really lovely so the two hours flew past, and then it was Miles time!!!!! 🥰

And my god, he literally blew everyone away, he was just insanely good as always. My friend was not really a Miles fan before the gig, and then while he was playing, she kept going “holy shit minnie he’s so good??” and I was like “TOLD YOU”, so now she’s a big fan as well, which is honestly very satisfying 😌 There were so many amazing moments during his set, but the one that stayed with me most I’ve already talked about in this post. It was honestly just…. very intense and really hard to explain in a non-shippy way? Even my non-shipper friend was like… hmm ok yes, that seems very significant 🤔

But anyway, Miles rocked the house, and then it was only a short wait until the main show. And while most of it is a blur because I just lose my mind when I see my boys play, I did make sure to really absorb some special moments and things I really wanted to remember. Being able to clearly see Alex’s intense, goofy and beautiful facial expressions, his HANDS, the cute little interactions he had with the rest of the band (giggles with Matt and smiley asides with Jamie and Nick), the moment where Alex made grabby hands at the plushie and then laughed some more when he couldn’t have it, Jamie being an absolute rockstar as always, Nick looking like a total snack (my friend has a giant crush on Nick, understandably so), Matt being a literal drum god (I love seeing him play SO much). Just... incredible ����🏻💘

I really wasn’t expecting Miles to join them during that show, so when Alex gave him a shoutout I knew it was just that, but my friend didn’t, so she started hitting me like “he’s coming back!” and I was like “no he’s not”, and he wasn’t unfortunately lmao. The Dutch and Belgian girls next to me were extremely disappointed (they were Milex shippers as well, of course), but I know at least one of them was there on Thursday as well so I love that for her. Other memorable moments were Alex singing the “remember when you used to be a rascal” line followed by “do you remember? I remember” after which I yelled at my friend “Miles used to be a rascal!!!” and then later I found out Miles was actually on that side of the stage 😭😭 Even though I didn’t find out about that until later, I definitely noticed that Alex kept gesturing towards that side of the stage (the Star Treatment intermezzo was wild, I was like, “WHO is he pointing at for the dolls like you and me thing??” And then it turned out to be Miles 🫠

Another thing I noticed was that the average age of the crowd was way lower than I’m used to it being, which my friend explained may have something to do with tiktok? Lmao idk, hut the the standing crowd did mostly consist of younger, shorter girls for some reason lol, so there wasn’t as much jumping as I’d have liked there to be. My friend and I just went for it regardless, even if we were some of the only people going crazy. But you just have to, you know what I mean? Anyway, it was such an incredible show and after it ended, we were just on cloud nine, singing Fluorescent Adolescent with everyone on the Luas going back to town, which is always just such a blast. And then we ended up in Temple Bar where there was more live music as well as about 500 other Arctic Monkeys fans, so that was great fun too 💫

The next day, the three of us went to a tattoo shop where I’d booked an appointment and I got my tattoo which I am EXTREMELY happy with. The tattoo artist was a girl from Brazil and when she asked me about the meaning of my tattoo (I’ll post a pic later) I told her it was an Arctic Monkeys song and the just yelled across the shop to a few other artists and it turned out they’d been at the concert too, so we all geeked out about them while I got my tattoo done lmao, so much fun 😂

Then my London friend unfortunately had to fly back home later that day, so my Amsterdam friend and I ended up in the pub again because that’s what we do. It was just a very average pub with two very average men playing amazing folk music, and when we walked in, I was like “huh that guy looks like Zackery Michael, that’s funny.” And then later I was stood next to him at the bar and heard he was American, so I was like hmmm, and decided to just ask him if he was in fact Zackery Michael. He was like “that is me!” lol (thank god, would’ve been embarrassing if it hadn’t been) so we had a little chat about the fact that we were both in town for Arctic Monkeys but in slightly different capacities lol, and he was just super nice and was happy to take a photo with me, and then I let him get back to his conversation with the three extremely pretty girls he was with 😅

Anyways, so then on Thursday after breakfast we bought some souvenirs and I bought some great Arctic Monkeys mini posters and some other stuff at this lovely little comic book/record store which was playing Humbug, the owner of which told us he also went to see Arctic Monkeys on Tuesday and loved them, so that was another amazing chance meeting 💜 And then it was after 12pm so it was time for whiskey, and then the meeting with the fellow TLSP/Arctic Monkeys/Miles Kane fan bartender happened which I posted about here, which was so lovely and also secretly made me want to believe it was a sign for the show that night 🙈

But I still couldn’t let myself hope or believe TOO much, so I just kept telling my friend “they’re not going to do it and that’s okay” and she was like “sure, whatever you say” 😂 We had seated tickets for this gig, so we were unfortunately much further away than I had been on Tuesday. And also I just don’t like being seated at concerts, let alone an Arctic Monkeys one, but to be honest, the seats were pretty good. Miles once again gave his absolute all and converted not just my Dutch friend as well, but also a lot of the people around us who we overheard saying things like “did you know he was this good??” and checking Miles’s Wikipedia page, which was great to see. And from up on the balcony we could clearly see that the people in the crowd were really singing along and having an amazing time during Miles’s set (COTT was extremely emotional, all the lights were so lovely ✨️) and I just felt so proud of him and happy for him that it was such a roaring success 🥹💖

The roaring success continued for Arctic Monkeys of course, although it was really weird to see so many people go mental for Snap Out Of It and Arabella etc. 😅 But yeah, the people do love AM it seems, which is why the first part of the setlist was pretty much the same as it had been on Tuesday. Hello You was amazing though!! And then after There’d Better Be a Mirrorball, I knew that it was 505 time, and Alex did say ‘Let’s hear it for Miles Kane’. But because it was the same thing he’d said before, I was still convinced Miles wouldn’t come on. AND THEN HE DID 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 I absolutely lost my shit, not even kidding. I just started screaming and threw my phone at my poor friend being like “FILM IT” which she did, bless her heart, and uhhh, yeah then I cried throughout the whole performance 😭 And then at the end, the lights went out and I saw their shadows (our shadow puppets <3) coming together so I was like did they hug??? And then I only found out later that evening when I checked tumblr that they in fact did hug and then my night was just completely made (lol, I say my night but I mean my life, obviously)

Do I Wanna Know was a total blur after that of course, but I was back for Body Paint which was absolutely incredible as always. And then they did Big Ideas as the encore and uuhhh yeah I sobbed 🙃 It was SO beautiful, and so special hearing it live with the strings, and SO fucking sad. And then once RU Mine? finished and the lights stayed off, I was like aaahhh we’re getting one more!! And then OF COURSE it was Perfect Sense because Alex is a dramatic bastard, and of course I cried some more. It was stunning and extremely emotional 💔

So then my friend and I went to drown my sorrows (and elation about the Milex reunion) in the pub and we actually had a great time with some fellow AM fans and live music again. I swear it was like all of Dublin was just there for Arctic Monkeys. Unfortunately, we were not in the pub where the boys apparently went ugh, but still, it was fun. And yesterday morning I woke up with a killer hangover so I swore I would not drink anymore, but it was raining so much, so we did end up in the pub again where we got talking to some really cool Irish guys who (surprise) also loved Arctic Monkeys, and they insisted on buying us drinks so obviously I couldn’t decline. So we just sat and drank with them until we had to catch our flight, and of course by that time I was tipsy and maudlin and the weather wasn’t helping so I cried all the way to the airport (especially since we passed the arena again) and then I cried some more in the airport like the drama queen I am 🥲

It’s just that I’m so sad it’s over, and so scared and worried about the future of the band, with how much this felt like a goodbye 😔 But I’m just going to assume that it’s just goodbye for now, and that they’ll take a well-deserved break, maybe do their own things for a while, and that in a few years’ time they’ll get back to making music together again. I really do think they have so much fun doing what they do together, and they’re basically like family, and Alex wouldn’t know what to do with himself if he couldn’t make music, so surely they’ll be back eventually. But please, just don’t be too long boys 🥺🙏🏻❤️

All in all, though, what has stayed with me most from this trip is a sense of gratefulness that I was lucky enough to experience all this, my 8th and 9th Arctic Monkeys gigs to date, the last dates of the tour, the Milex reunion (!!!!!!!) and to get to share it with two of my best friends in the world, a whole bunch of arctic monkeys loving strangers who I randomly met, and all of you guys I’ve met on here these past few months. The sense of connection and community I’ve found through this band means so much to me, more than I can say, actually, and I’m so grateful to them for that, in addition to the music they’ve given us. And although the tour is over, I am honestly looking forward to sharing the love we have for them with you all for a long time to come and for now, I am so excited about getting back to writing my silly little Milex stories (and insanely happy they finally gave us that little reunion we hope for, so that I’m still excited and hopeful about their relationship rather than heartbroken and resigned, which is what I probably would’ve been if they hadn’t performed together. So thank you for that, boys 💘)

So yes. Very, VERY long story short: Arctic Monkeys is and always will be my favourite band in the world, they ended the tour on an absolute high (and with Miles!) and this was an experience I will never, ever forget ❤️

[robbersofmyheart]

A coffee shop meeting…

Summary: Fate steps in when a teacher in her not-even-quarter-life crisis meets Matty Healy.

A/N: There's a very strong possibility that I'll never post any other writing on here again, but I hope this brings a smile to someone else's face. This was a daydream born of my love both for the 1975 (Matty in particular tbh) and for the found family trope. Hope you enjoy it!

“You don’t happen to have a light, do you?”

“No, I don’t. Maybe it’s a sign you shouldn’t smoke it.”

“I’ve done a lot worse, believe me.”

“Oh, I know. Doesn’t make that nicotine any better for you though.”

Eleanor looked across at her companion, eyebrows raised in challenge, waiting to see if he had a comeback. The café, which had been heaving when she arrived a couple of hours ago, now had only two customers remaining. In their typical British fashion, they hadn’t spoken until now, despite being alone at their adjacent tables, so Eleanor was surprised to hear him finally breaking the ice over the rattling of coffee cups being tidied away. She watched as he put the cigarette back into the packet, a smirk overtaking his features.

“So you do recognise me then.”

Crap. Of course that’s what he took from that. Matty Healy - 1, Eleanor - 0.

“Yes, I recognised you, Matty,” Eleanor replied with a sigh. She couldn’t believe she’d lost that easily.

“Why didn’t you say anything? You were the only one in here that could see my face.”

“I was working,” she paused. “Or at least trying to. I don’t usually focus well in busy places, too many more interesting things to study.”

“Why are you here then?”

“My cousin lives in Manchester and I’d come to visit him. We managed to have half a day before he got called in for a last-minute shift at work. I missed my train home by literally seconds, then I saw that the next one was cancelled, so I thought I’d get some planning done while I wait for the one after to arrive.”

Matty was listening to her intently now, his chin resting on his hand. Eleanor wondered what he was doing here. Since he arrived, he’d alternated between drinking cups of coffee, scribbling frantically in his Moleskine, and watching the comings and goings of customers out of the corner of his eye. Before she could ask him, however, he dived in with yet another question for her

“And what sort of planning would that be?”

“Factorising quadratics with Year 9, area of a trapezium with Year 7, and recurring decimals revision with Year 11.”

Matty exhaled loudly, leaning back in his chair, the glint in his eye telling her that he was impressed. “You’re a maths teacher then.”

“Bingo.”

“That must be a tough gig.”

“Just a bit.”

“You seem quite young to be a teacher.” It was a statement, but the furrow in his brows betrayed his confusion.

“I’m 22, so I guess I am.”

“Do you enjoy it?”

Eleanor hesitated, considering what her reply would be, and Matty waited patiently, almost watching the cogs turning in her brain. “I do, for the most part. I work with an amazing team of people, and I love seeing the difference I make to those kids’ lives. Not everyone has that purpose, so I’m lucky really.”

Matty narrowed his eyes at her, knowing that she wasn’t telling the full story. And that was how Eleanor found herself pouring her heart out to the curly haired singer, the troubles that she had bottled up inside her for months finally breaking free, whether she liked it or not.

She told him about how she lived in a permanent state of exhaustion, tired from the never-ending to do lists and the unbearable repetitiveness of her daily life. She told him about the part of her that regretted throwing herself into such a big career at such a young age, and how she felt that she missed her chance to be young and wild and carefree because she’d always been so focused on her work. She told him about how she’d thought about leaving her current life behind and starting again so many times, but had ultimately been too scared of failing and letting people down when they’d given up so much to help her get to where she was now.

To his surprise, Matty didn’t feel like interrupting her once during her monologue. He simply wanted to let her talk, to let her share her thoughts with him. It was like he could actually see some of the weight lifting off the girl’s shoulders as she unburdened herself of her worries, and it almost made him smile to think that she felt comfortable enough to tell him when he somehow knew that she had never told anyone else. So he just listened, letting her ramble on until she ran out of things to say.

When that time finally came, Eleanor let out a big exhale and looked Matty in the eye as he responded with one word: “Wow.”

Eleanor felt her face start to burn and she buried it into her hands. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry. This is probably the last way you wanted to spend your afternoon, being on the receiving end of my word vomit.”

“You know what, it actually made a refreshing change. Didn’t expect to get recruited as a therapist today.” Matty watched her shoulders start to shake under her blanket of blonde waves, and was shocked at the worry he felt that she might be crying. But when she looked up she was giggling, despite the faint sheen of tears in her eyes.

“Oh, so you’re my therapist now?”

“You mean you didn’t purposefully choose me? I’m wounded.” That made her laugh properly this time, and Matty found himself unable to hold a soft smile back any longer before his expression turned more serious. “Look, I’m not going to pretend like I know how to solve your problems, and I’m not even sure if you want me to, but can I say one thing?” She nodded. “I think that if the people that you’re worried about letting down really love you, they’ll be more upset if you carry on doing something that’s making you miserable for their sakes than if you give it up.”

Eleanor mulled over the singer’s words and whilst she knew deep down that they were true, it didn’t change the fact that she was absolutely terrified at the idea of giving up teaching. Below the supportive façades, she knew her parents would always berate her for leaving such a stable, well-paid career, and her pride would never let her return to work at her current school with people that she adores if this mysterious plan B failed. She relayed all of this to Matty.

“Well who gives a flying fuck what anyone else thinks anyway! What’s the point in life if you don’t do something you love?”

“But teaching is the only thing I’ve ever even contemplated doing, I’ve got absolutely no idea what else I’d do.”

“Listen, you’re young, intelligent, beautiful, and you’ve literally got the whole world out there with so many possibilities - it doesn’t matter if you don’t get it right first time.”

“Careful, Healy, I might start thinking you like me,”

Now, if you asked Matty Healy of The 1975 why his immediate response was to do a stereotypically girlish impression of that comment before flipping off the young woman sat in front of him, he wouldn’t be able to tell you. Nor could he explain why, after only an hour of talking to her, he felt such an incredible fondness for her, an almost brotherly affection, which prompted him to tell her how amazing she seemed to be. But he could describe how his heart soared as she laughed at him, and then sunk as she realised the time and started hurriedly packing her stuff into her bag.

“Shit, shit, shit. Do you think I can make the train in 5 minutes? I can’t miss this one as well. This is all your fault you know!”

“Hang on, how is it my fault? You’re the one who started emptying your brains onto the table.”

“And you were the one who made the mistake of listening.” Eleanor swung her bag onto her shoulder, and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. “Thank you.”

Then she was running out of the coffee shop, a blur of blonde hair and floral perfume.

It was only then that Matty realised he didn’t even know her name.

***

1 year later…

“Lovely to meet you, take care.”

As soon as the interviewee had left the room, the smiles on four of the five faces dropped and they let out a sigh.

“Guys, if you want to actually do this, we do need to hire someone.”

Matty tugged at his hair in frustration. “It’s not that we’re not on board with it, Jamie, it’s just got to be with the right person. I mean, it’s letting someone totally unknown to us into an entire chapter of our lives, not just our careers.”

It was just over a month ago that The 1975 had told Jamie Oborne that they were ready to start working on their next album. In the same meeting, Jamie had proposed an idea that he had been mulling over for a while. The response to ‘A Theatrical Performance of an Intimate Moment’ had been better than anyone had anticipated, and the fans always loved seeing behind the scenes footage. So, Jamie had suggested filming the entire journey of their next album, from concept to creation to tour, and releasing it as a mini-series. Of course, the band could get the footage themselves, but whether they would actually remember to do it was a different story.

That was how they found themselves in a boiling hot room in the London office of Dirty Hit, having collectively decided against all 15 people they had interviewed for the role of documentarian.

“I mean, they all just seem so serious,” Matty continued.

“Boring, you mean,” George muttered.

“This thing does have to look good, though, for it to work, and these were the most qualified of all the candidates,” Jamie countered.

“We don’t fucking care about qualified!”

“I think what Matty’s trying to say, mate,” Ross calmly cut in, “Is that we were thinking of something more low key. More of a collection of home movies than something carefully filmed and edited.”

“Yeah, we don’t know how long this thing is going to go on for, way over a year at least, and we don’t want to feel like we’re putting on a show the whole time. It’s got to be authentic. It’s gonna be fucking weird at the start but after a while we just want it to be like a mate is casually filming what we’re doing.”

Jamie had to admit that George closed their argument well, and he was sold on it. He just wished that they had told him sooner.

“Okay, okay, I get it and I’m happy for us to go ahead with that. There’s one more person for us to speak to today, who was kind of my wildcard, so if she’s more what you’re looking for then we can revisit some of the other applications tomorrow.” With that, Jamie left the room to get the last candidate.

“A wildcard? What is this, mid-2000s X Factor?” Matty huffed, to the amusement of the others.

But any annoyance that Matty felt was washed away in an instant when he saw who his manager was holding the door open for.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Matty’s words might have sounded rude, but it was the smile spreading across his face that shocked everyone the most.

“I’m here in an attempt to annoy you for longer this time,” Eleanor smirked.

“Well, you’re failing miserably at this point. How are you?”

“I’m good. Really good, actually.” A genuine smile crossed her face this time. “Didn’t think you’d remember me to be honest.”

“I often wondered what you decided to do with your life in the end,” Matty shrugged. “It frustrated me knowing everything and then nothing at all. So I guess you have already succeeded in your goal to annoy me.”

Before you had chance to reply, another voice broke through to join the conversation. “Sorry to interrupt this lovely chat, but would someone kindly explain what the hell is going on here?” It was George, and he, like everyone else in the room, was stumped by Matty’s sudden personality transplant.

Now very aware of all of the eyes on her, she looked to Matty for help, who simply sat back in his chair before saying “Well, I think you’re sat in the better seat for a storytime, don’t you? Anyway, I don’t even know your name.”

So Eleanor told the room about how she had met their frontman, briefly mentioning the life crisis that she’d been having at the time, whilst Matty impatiently waited to hear what happened after she left the coffee shop. She told them how she’d stayed in teaching until the end of that school year, before handing in her notice. Her boss had been sad to see her go, but told her that if she ever decided that she wanted to come back then he’d always find a job for her. Eleanor’s family, however, reacted quite differently; she ended up having a massive row with her parents about it and her relationship with them still hadn’t quite mended fully. Ever since her move to London, she had been taking whatever bar jobs she could find and spent her days applying to any jobs that took her fancy.

Matty couldn’t help the pride that was coursing through him for the young woman sat across from him. She had taken all of those ‘What ifs’ that she’d told him about, thrown them in the fire and walked away, when he knew that all of her instincts would have been telling her to do the opposite. He looked around at the others, and was both amused and pleased to find that they all seemed to be as entranced by Eleanor as he had been at their first meeting. In Matty’s eyes, she was the perfect fit, and he could tell that she was quickly winning the others over as well.

Surprisingly, it was Adam who spoke up first. “So, you’re saying that you’re totally unqualified for this job?”

“Never done anything like it before in my life. But it sounded interesting and I’m always up for learning new stuff.”

“Never been behind a camera? Never had anything to do with the music industry?” Ross asked, slightly taken aback by her honesty.

“Not the music industry, but I used to study music at school and I still play the piano from time to time.”

“And I take it you’re on board for annoying Matty as much as humanly possible?” It was George this time.

“Oh 100%.”

Matty rolled his eyes, but the smile remained on his face. She’d done it. Now, there was only one person left to convince. Matty quickly joined the others in looking at Jamie the way they used to look at their parents when the ice cream van pulled up on their road.

Eleanor watched on nervously as some sort of telepathic conversation seemed to transpire between the band and their manager.

Eventually, the silence broke and a new chapter began.

[blackwidownat2814]

Pride & Prejudice & Partridges (J.Seresin)

Pairing: Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x plus size!reader, Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x librarian!reader, Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x Garcia!reader, Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x latina!reader

Word Count: 4580

A/N: Written for @jupitercomet's 12 Days of Christmas Challenge. I had Day 1-Secret Santa. This is also my first Top Gun Maverick fic, so go easy on me! I want to thank the wonderful and amazing @jobean12-blog for letting me bounce ideas off of her and helping me break through my writer's block. Also, many, many thanks to @navybrat817, for her firsthand knowledge of Navy life and for answering my countless questions. You two rock!

Triggers: Death of parents (just mentioned, no specifics), negative talk about self, body image issues. Angst with a happy ending.

‼️⚠️I do not give permission for any of my work to be copied, translated or reposted anywhere else but on my own blog.⚠️‼️

Masterlist

You were content with the quiet life you led.  Working as a librarian on a US Navy installation allowed you that freedom.  NAS Miramar wasn’t small, but it wasn’t huge either.  When you worked in the public library system, you were busy quite often…and it was starting to wreak havoc on your mental health.  Luckily, around the time you were trying to decide what to do with your career, your brother, Mickey ‘Fanboy’ Garcia, called you to let you know he was going to be stationed at NAS Miramar for the foreseeable future to be part of the now permanent Dagger Squad.

So, you moved to San Diego and onto the installation with Mickey, leaving your hometown behind (it didn’t really bother you to leave because your parents had been gone for several years and your introverted nature didn’t grant you close friends).  He helped you get the job at the library and that was that. 

The day you finished unpacking your things, Mickey told you he was going to take you out to meet the rest of the squad because the only person you knew was Reuben and you needed to meet some new people in your new home:

“Are you sure that’s okay?  I don’t want to invade your group or anyth--"

“Sis…really?  This night is for you!  I’ve told them all about you and how excited I am to have you with me again.”  You smiled big and giggled.

“Aw, you’re such a sweetheart, aren’t ya little bro?”

“Shut up”, pouted Mickey.  You grabbed his hand and pulled him to you.

“Thanks.  Te quiero, hermanito.”

“I love you too.”

When you and Mickey arrived at the local watering hole, The Hard Deck, you were instantly greeted by Reuben.  He pulled you into a tight hug, calling you Little Garcia (which was a ridiculous nickname, seeing as how you were older than Mickey by a year).  Shortly after that, Bob, Rooster, Phoenix, and Coyote showed up.  You were all sitting around one of the pool tables, drinking beers (in your case, it was an ice cold Dr. Pepper because you weren’t big on drinking) when you heard the most suave and cocky sounding, Texas accent ever:

“What do we have here?”  You saw Phoenix roll her eyes and smile.

“Little Garcia, this here is Bagman.”

“Hangman.”

“Whatever.”  Hangman laughed and pulled Phoenix into a hug.  When she let him go, he turned to look at you.

“So, you’re Fanboy’s sister.”  You nodded.

“Y-yes.  That’d, uh, that’d be me.”

“Well m’dear, we’re all really happy that Fanboy has you close by again.”

“I’m glad to be here Hangman.”  He smiles big and sits on the barstool next to you.

“Please, call me Jake.”

“Okay, Jake.”  If this man keeps looking at you with those gorgeous green eyes, you were going to melt.

“So, tell me Little Garcia, what do you do?”

“I’m a librarian.  I’m going to be working on base and living with Mickey”, you replied.  “Since I was moving down here, he managed to get out of the barracks and into a small house on base.”  Jake clapped his hands together and looked around at the group.

“You’re going to be living on the base?  That means you deserve your own callsign!”  The rest of the squad voiced their agreement.  “The question is, what do we call you?”

“How about Libby?” suggested Bob.  He made a face when everyone groaned.  “I know, I know.”  A few of the others made their own suggestions of library related callsigns before Jake stood from his spot next to you.

“I’ve got it!”  Jake turned back to you with a huge smile on his face, “How about…Dewey?”  

You felt heat crawling up your neck because of the way he was looking at you, like you were the only woman in the room.  You knew that that wasn’t possible, that someone as good looking and amazingly talented and a hero like Jake would never look at someone like you that way.  Why would a man who looked like he was crafted by Zeus himself look at a chubby librarian twice, when he could have women like Phoenix, or your cousin Isabella (who stole the first boy you ever really had a chance with, away)?

“I like it.  Thanks, Jake.”  He pulled you into a hug, squeezing you tight.

Oh Lord.  You were in trouble.

That was a year ago.  Over the last year, it was like you became an honorary member of the Dagger Squad.  They became the family you and Mickey were missing.  Most of them came to visit you at work.  One of those people was Jake.  The first time he came by, a month after the two of you met, you were shelving books and he’d snuck up on you, giving you a moment worthy of fan fiction itself.

You stepped up onto the plastic footstool and filed the book in its spot, on the topmost shelf.  You had an earbud in and were singing quietly along to “Remember Me” from Coco since you very rarely ever got someone in the library this early in the day, which meant you didn’t hear the door open, and you didn’t hear footsteps coming towards you.  You felt something tap you on the shoulder and you let out a scream, feeling yourself tilt backwards.  You squeezed your eyes shut and braced yourself for the inevitable pain, but it never came.  Instead, you felt the warm embrace of familiar arms.

“You can open your eyes now, darlin’.”  Opening one eye, you saw Jake smiling at you.  “Sorry I scared you, Dewey.”

“Oh, it’s not a problem.  I should’ve been paying more attention and–” It was then that you realized Jake was holding you bridal style.  “Oh my God!  Jake!  Put me down!  You’re going to hurt your back or something and I’m going to get in trouble for breaking government property.  I’m way too hea–”  

You would’ve rambled on had Jake not stopped you.

“Dewey.  I’m going to need you to relax.  You’re not going to mess up my back and you’re not going to get in trouble.  I have trained a long time and I don’t want to sound like a cocky bastard–”  You gave him a judgmental eyebrow raise and a Look.  “Okay, you have a point.”

“Seriously Jake, I don’t want to hurt you!”  Jake rolled his eyes but put you down carefully.  “Thank you.  I know you work out..I mean look at you, of course you do.  I just-lifting weights and doing bench presses is one thing, Jake…”

“Dewey…”

“Thank you for saving me from getting hurt”, you say before Jake can continue with whatever platitudes someone as good looking, built, and thin as him can come up with.  You smooth out the skirt of your bright red button front chiffon dress and look up at him since he has at least half a foot on you.  “Is there something I can help you find today, Lt. Seresin?”

Jake’s jaw clenched and you could tell he wanted to say more.  What you couldn’t figure out was why he seemed to care this much about how you thought of yourself.  He was just a friend.

“Uh, no…no.”  He ran a hand through his light brown hair.  “My sister is coming to visit next week with my nieces for Family Weekend.  Are y’all doing anything special?”

“Of course!”  You gave him a big smile and proceeded to run through the activities that were planned.

The following week, you got to meet Jesse and Isla Seresin.  The bonus was getting to see ‘Uncle Jake’ in action first hand and you hated it because every minute you spent in his presence was making you fall in love with him.  This was something you didn’t want because you knew you couldn’t afford a broken heart.  Not again.  You’d only recently been able to put your heart back together finally coming to term with the loss of your parents.  You weren’t going to let a crush derail that progress.

Over the next 10 months, Jake visited you at the base library often, acting like that first conversation between you two never happened.  You’d ask after Isla and Jesse, how school was going and when they’d be back to visit again.  Jake would even bring you gifts from the girls for their ‘favorite librarian’ when he’d come back from visiting them.

Sometimes Jake would come to the library because he needed to research something for a mission or because he needed to develop some sort of lesson plan now that he was an instructor at TOPGUN.  Sometimes he’d come by just to chat.  During those chats, you found yourself opening up to him.  One day in October, almost a year after you moved to San Diego, Jake and some of the squad were at the library helping with the Halloween Festival for the kids the library staff was throwing in the parking lot.  You and Jake were manning the ‘Balloon Dart’ booth, chatting away the time while waiting for some new challengers.

“You know Dewey, in all the time I’ve known you, I don’t think I’ve ever asked you what your favorite book is”, said Jake.

“Is this you asking?”

“Mmhmm.”

“Pride & Prejudice”, you replied, keeping your eyes on your feet.  “I know, you don’t have to say it.  It’s totally cliché.”

“It’s not cliché at all.  It’s a good book.”  You looked up at Jake’s comment.

“You like Pride & Prejudice?”

“Your Lizzie Bennett is showing, you know.”

“Sorry.”

“No worries.  I read it for school, and I just really liked it”, said Jake.  “So, why is it your favorite?”

“It’s one of the first books my mom and I read together”, you replied.  Smiling sadly, you continue.  “She’d read me a chapter a night.  It took a while, but we finally finished it.  Afterwards, we borrowed the six-disc BBC mini-series from our local library and watched it all in one day.  Colin Firth was so handsome and a perfect Mr. Darcy.  Then in 2005, she surprised me with tickets to the movie as a late birthday gift and I just adored Matthew MacFadyen’s version of Darcy.  It fed my love of reading, which then inspired my choice in career.  Before they died, mom and I had been looking for the ‘Peacock edition’ of the book that was released in 1894.  It’s one of the most valuable and gorgeous versions because of the cover and illustrations by Hugh Thomson.  I had almost tracked one down, but then…”  

You looked away, not wanting to let Jake see you cry, but were unsuccessful.  Jake reached over and tipped your face up so he could look you in the eye, and wrapped his free hand around your ample waist, pulling you closer.

“I’m sorry about your parents.  It can’t have been easy for you and Fanboy.”  He placed the hand he’d had under your chin on your cheek and wiped away the few tears that escaped.

“It wasn’t.  He hides it better than I do, but he was just as broken.  It’s why I’m so thankful for Reuben and the rest of you.  When I couldn’t be there for him, all of you were…so, thank you, Jake.”

The way he was looking at you made you weak in the knees, and you saw him leaning towards you.  Was Jake Seresin about to kiss you?  Unfortunately, you wouldn’t find out because as he got closer, one of the kids ran up to the booth and you two jumped apart.

You watched him closely, out of the corner of your eye, the rest of the night.  You made sure you were always busy with the kids or whatever else was needed at the booth so that you weren’t available to talk with Jake.  You could tell he wanted to say something about what happened, but you really didn’t want to deal with the rejection and the explanation that it was a mistake.

As Jake was explaining the rules to one of the kids, you saw her mother fluffing her hair and adjusting her ‘assets’.  She put on the biggest (fakest) smile she could when Jake turned his attention to her. You rolled your eyes as you eyeballed the diamond on her left hand.  Did she think that he would just ignore that she was married and fall into her bed?  You knew Jake was imperfect, but he would never stoop that low.

You loved him.  You knew that now, because you gave up on trying to not fall in love with him months ago.  You hoped it wasn’t obvious because you didn’t want to be that chubby girl who was in love with the hot guy and acted like a stalker.  Becoming that stereotype was not going to happen.

Over the next month, you did absolutely everything in your power to avoid Jake Seresin.  You changed your shifts at work as much as you could so you wouldn’t be there when you knew he had free time and if he came in when you were there, you made sure you were busy or your coworkers would take care of him for you.  You didn’t go out to the Hard Deck on the weekends or anytime you knew he’d be there.

The week before Thanksgiving, you were at work when you received a visitor.

“Dewey?”  You looked up from your work to see Phoenix in the doorway of your office.

“Hey Phe!  Come on in.”  She stepped into your office and took a seat across from you.  “So, what brings you by?”

“We’ve missed you”, she said.  “All of us.”  The underlying meaning in her words didn’t skate past your understanding.

“I-I just can’t Phe.  I won’t be able to get over him if I’m around him constantly.  And I have to get over him because when he eventually finds someone–”

“Dewey, he doesn’t want to find anyone else.”

“Nat, I’m going to explain something to you, okay?”  You took a deep breath and continued, “Men as good looking as Jake or Rooster or any of them don’t go for women like me.  I know I’m not ugly, I never said that, but I am fat.  It’s just a fact.  Someone who takes care of himself like Jake is expected to be with a woman who looks like you.  Like the high school trope, the quarterback and the cheerleader.  I’m just the nerd who helps tutor the quarterback.  Who, like an idiot, falls for him and thinks that because he was so nice to me, maybe I should tell him how I feel.  When I do, he goes and laughs about it with his cheerleader girlfriend and all the other jocks.

I reached too far Nat.  Like I said, I need to get over him because I need to be able to be around him when he finds his cheerleader.”

Phoenix huffed.

“I didn’t know you felt like this.”

“I’ve been dealing with this since I was a kid.  I was compared to my cousin and how she looked.”

“Why didn’t you come talk to me?”  Phoenix leaned forward and took your hand.

“Phe, you’ve got enough on your plate, enough to deal with”, you reply.  “Besides, you’re not my therapist.  I didn’t want to burden you with my problems.  I’m already enough of a burden to Mickey.  I’m his older sister and he thinks he has to take care of me.”

“Can I say something now?” she asked, and you nodded.  “You are not a burden.  Not to me, not to Jake, and especially not to Fanboy.  He’s your brother and he loves you.  Before you moved here, he may have smiled and joked around, but it never really meant much.  He was just okay.  After you let him know you were coming to San Diego, you should’ve seen how happy he was.  His smile was huge, and his eyes didn’t look empty.  You’ve made all of our lives better.”

By the time she finished, tears fell silently down your cheeks.

“Thank you, Phe.  I love you, you know.”

“I love you too, Dewey.”  Phoenix came around the desk and pulled you into a tight hug.  “Believe it or not, this wasn’t the only reason I came to see you.”  You pulled away and wiped your cheeks.

“What can I help you with?”

“Some of us are having a Friendsgiving thing next week.  I wanted to know if you and Fanboy wanted to join us.”

“Um…”

“He’s going to Texas to see his family.”

“Okay then.”

Friendsgiving with Rooster, Phoenix, Reuben, and Mickey was one of the happiest times you had.  After dinner, Phoenix brought out a small basket with several small pieces of paper.

“What’s this?”  You looked over at your brother with a questioning look.

“Last Christmas, we all decided that a Secret Santa with the squad would be fun.  Since it was a hit, we’re doing it again.”  He took the basket from Phoenix and held it out to you, “It’s your first time, so you get the first draw.  No take backsies, unless you get your own name.”

“Got it.”  You closed your eyes and shoved your hand in the basket, rooting around for a few seconds before finally grabbing a paper.  You unfolded it, shielding the paper from prying eyes.  You smiled at the ‘Bob’ written on the paper.  You were close enough with Bob and knew the perfect gift for him.

“When do we have to have the gifts ready?” you asked the group.

“Penny’s having a Christmas party at The Hard Deck next month on the 15th”, said Rooster.  You felt your stomach drop.  You weren’t making any progress in getting over the feelings you had for Jake, and you didn’t think you were ready to see him again.

“Awesome.  Can’t wait.”  Bob came in for Book Club all the time, so you could slip him his gift then and not have to worry about being at the party.  Everyone would be so busy enjoying it, they probably wouldn’t even notice you weren’t there.  How wrong you were.

Now.

Sure enough, the day before Penny’s Christmas party, Bob stopped by the library.  He loved his gift; you’d gotten him a cookie decorating class that was online and prerecorded so he wouldn’t miss any of the days because of work and emphasized intricate decorating techniques.

He gave you a kiss on the cheek and a big hug in thanks, promising you the first batch of cookies he made with his newfound knowledge.  Before leaving, he asked if he’d see you the next day at The Hard Deck.  You felt bad about lying but told him no because you had to take care of something important.  In reality, you were going to hide out at the library for a few hours and then go home.

So, you did.  Your phone started going off only a few minutes after everyone was supposed to be arriving at The Hard Deck.  You ignored the texts from Phoenix, Mickey, Bob, and Reuben and were about to shut your phone off when a call from Mickey came through.

“What?”

“Where are you?”

“I’m busy.”

“You’re a bad liar, you know, hermanita.”  You rolled your eyes.

“Is there a reason you’re calling Mickey?”

“Everyone is wondering where you are.”  You could hear voices and the jukebox going in the background; it sounded like a good time.  “And I mean everyone.”

“Mickey…I can’t, okay?  I won’t be a novelty or something he bides his time with until he finds someone better, someone prettier.  Someone thinner and more appropriate for him.”

“That’s complete bullshit.  And Hangman is a lot of things, but that isn’t something he’d ever do.  Please believe me.  When I met him, I thought he was a complete dick.  The only one who didn’t was Coyote, and that’s only because they’ve been friends for years, so he knows how much of a good man Jake is.”

Mickey went on about Jake’s pros and as you were about to cut him off and hang up, you heard another voice.

“Fanboy, who are you talking to?”  Jake.  He’d seen your brother having a heated discussion while on the phone, and since he hadn’t seen you yet, he put two and two together.

“Don’t you say a word Mickey.  Don’t you do it.”

“Um…”

“Fanboy, is it Dewey?  Where is she?”

“I’m under orders to not say anything.”

“Bullshit.  Tell me.  Now.  I need to talk to her.”

“No.”  You knew your brother and you could hear his resolve weakening in his voice.  Suddenly, you heard what sounded like a scuffle on the other end and shouts of Give it back Hangman! before another voice came on the line.

“Dewey?  Dewey, please, tell me where you are.  I need to talk to you.”  You pressed ‘mute’, so he wouldn’t hear you starting to cry.  “Please darlin’.  Tell me where you are.”

You almost broke at the pleading in his voice.  You didn’t understand why he was so determined about seeing you.  You were just friends.  You took a deep breath and unmuted the call.

“I’m sorry Jake, but I’m not going to do that.”

“Darlin’, pl–”

“Goodnight Jake.”  You hung up and put your phone on ‘Do Not Disturb’, so you could listen to music while you did some shifting and didn’t have to worry about phone calls interrupting you.

You were in a Metallica-type of mood, so you chose the correct playlist and put in your earbuds.  ‘All Nightmare Long’ transitioned in to ‘Master of Puppets’ (your favorite song), and you shimmied along the aisles, shifting books around so they weren’t so tightly packed together.

Once again, you were so distracted by your task and the music, you didn’t hear someone knocking on the front door of the building or even walking in.  He heard you, though.  Jake called out for you, but when he didn’t get a response, he went to check your office.  Seeing your things still there, he was dead quiet to find out where you were...until he heard you singing.

‘Come crawling faster (faster)

Obey your master (master)

Your life burns faster (faster)

Obey your master

Master!

Master!’

Jake took the stairs two at a time, finding you in the graphic novel section.  You had your back to him, and he knew you were going to be mad, but he just had to.  Unbeknownst to you, he tiptoed up to you and tapped you on the shoulder.

You let out an almighty shriek and spun around, your feet getting tangled together.  Jake launched himself forward and caught you before you could fall and get hurt.

“You okay Dewey?”  You smacked him on the chest and pushed him away.

“Jake Seresin!  How could you do that to me?!”  You pulled your earbuds out and pocketed them.  You looked over at Jake and were glad to see he was looking slightly ashamed.

“I’m sorry darlin’.”

“What are you doing here Jake?  I wanted to be alone.”

“I needed to see you.”

“Why?  What could you possibly have to say to me right now?  There’s a party with everyone there and yet you’re here, wasting your time with me.”  You crossed your arms and leaned against the shelf.

“First of all, you’re not there, so not everyone is there.”  Jake reached behind him and pulled a wrapped, rectangular something he’d tucked into his back pocket.  “Secondly, I needed to give you this.  I’m your Secret Santa.’

“You could’ve just given it to Mickey to give to me.”

“Dewey, just take it, please.”

“Fine.”  You reached over and took the package from Jake’s hands.  You were carefully unwrapping the gift when Jake spoke up.

“Why have you been avoiding me?”

“I haven’t b–”

“Don’t lie to me.  I may act like an idiot, but I’m not one.  Anytime I go to visit you, either you’re not there because you changed your schedule, or you get one of the others to deal with me.  When we all get together at the Hard Deck, you never show.  Fanboy feeds us whatever lie you tell him, but I know better.  I know you, something happened to make you avoid me and the others.”

“Jake…”  Before you could continue, you pushed the wrapping paper of the gift to reveal a book.  A copy of the ‘Peacock Edition’ of Pride & Prejudice, originally published in 1894, making this a first printing.  You carefully opened the book to look through it.  No creases, the spine was perfect for a book that was almost 130 years old, and it was beautiful.

“Do you like it?”  In your astonishment, you’d forgotten he was standing there.

“Jake, Jake, I-I-I can’t believe you remembered?”

“I did.”  You felt tears starting to form and threatened to fall down your cheeks.

“Jake, I c-can’t accept this. It-It’s too much.”

“It’s not too much darlin’.  I just hope it makes you feel closer to your mom.”  The tears fell in a steady flow now.  Jake rushed forward and took your face in your hands.  “Please don’t cry baby.”

You shut your eyes and basked in the feeling of his hands on your cheeks.

“Why did you do this Jake?  This isn’t something you do for a friend for a Secret Santa gift.”  You hear Jake chuckle.

“Open your eyes darlin’.”  You took a deep breath and slowly opened your eyes to look into green ones.  “You know why, Dewey.”

“I need you to say it.  I won’t believe it unless you do.”

“I love you, Miss Garcia.”

“Jake…”  You gave him a big watery smile.

“I know you have your reservations because of some weird reason that you think you don’t deserve me just because of the way you look.  Baby, that can’t be further from the truth.  I love you because of who you are, of what you’ve overcome, of what you’ve done–”

“I’m just a librarian, Jake.  I’m not anyone special.  But you, you’re a literal hero.  I read, you fly planes and save the world…how could I ever measure up?”

“Darlin’, you’re a hero too, to the girls.  I can never talk with Isla and Jesse without hearing Miss Garcia this and Miss Garcia that and When can we see Miss Garcia again, Uncle Jake?  They were both having trouble with their reading, but after meeting you, they’re the top readers in each of their classes.”

“I–” Before you could say anything else, Jake surged forward and kissed you. You’d only ever been kissed a few times in your life, but this blew the other kisses out of the water, it obliterated them. It reminded you of The Princess Bride, and the thought brought a smile to your face.

When the lack of air finally became an issue, you pulled away and leaned your forehead against Jake’s.

“I love you too, Jake, so much.”

Jake smiled that perfect smile of his and kissed you again. So focused on the kiss, neither of you heard the footsteps up the stairs, and didn’t know Reuben, Mickey, Rooster, Coyote, Phoenix, and Bob were watching the two of you make out until Coyote spoke up.

“Yeah buddy! Get your girl!” You and Jake broke apart in surprise.

“What the hell guys?!”

[hookhausenschips]

Burning Rubber

Chapter Nine

F1 Masterlist

Burning Rubber Masterlist

Word Count: 2,655

Summary: Azha accepts her feelings for Lando while he is back in Monaco, but will she finally act upon them when he comes back?

Warnings: nightmare, dream about a shooting, Lando and Azha being lovesick puppies

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Azha’s POV

Physical therapy has been going great so far. Although some days are tougher than others. Lando and Liana have been helping me a lot when they can, well more like when I let them. The day after I had come home Lando had taken me out to dinner, it was the sweetest thing ever. I truly was not expecting to go to some fancy restaurant. He had gotten me flowers and was such a gentleman the entire night, until he had told the staff it was my birthday, it wasn't. I can still see him grinning as they came out with two slices of red velvet cake and a sparkler shining bright as they sang to me. Regardless, I had an amazing time. He said the dinner was a celebration for me coming home, alive and well. I'm not going to lie, it made my eyes water and made the feelings I have tried to bury deep down grow immensely. 

He had to fly back to Monaco for a little bit which I was sad about. He didn’t want to leave but I told him he should go check on his place and do what he needs to do. I'll be fine. My phone dinged with a notification as I sit in the passenger seat of Liana’s car headed to grab some lunch after PT. Clicking on it I see that Lando is live on Twitch. I smiled hearing the Brit’s voice. “Can’t go a day without him can you?” Liana teased. I reached over the center console and pinched her arm as my eyes stayed focused on my phone. “Focus on traffic and not what I’m doing.” I replied. After several minutes of scooting along the interstate the car came to a stop, “Jesus not like I’m starving or anything.” Liana muttered, I hummed in agreement realizing we would be here for a while more than likely. “Turn up the radio.” I say hearing a familiar chorus play, ‘I’ve made enough mistakes, but you’re on my side. I guess we found love. I’m on your side babe, never moving sideways’ played through the speakers. 

I wasn’t quite sure where I had first heard this song but I couldn’t remember the name of it, too lazy to shazam it. My eyes went back to my phone watching Lando’s stream as he tried to play fortnite. My heart began to beat harder in my chest hearing another part of the song, ‘Every day is such a test. Battle of the mind, The world will make you cold. Not being in your arms, Is what I don't like’ It made me think over the memories of the past weeks with Lando. Had my feelings really grown to be that deep? I had grown used to being in his arms that now with him being thousands of miles away it was hard to sleep at night without him near. I grabbed Liana’s phone pulling up his stream as I went to my contacts to call him, he wouldn’t mind he was muted talking to chat anyway waiting for the next match. 

The phone rang as I held it to my ear watching as he reached for his. “Oh, chat! It’s Azha calling, everyone say Hi!” He smiled then answered, placing me on speaker, “Hello love, how are you?” He asked. I felt the butterflies erupt in my stomach before answering, “Hey, I’m doing alright aside from sitting in traffic starving.” I replied watching as he watched his begin to flood with so many messages. “You haven’t eaten yet?” He asked. “No, Liana and I were on our way to get something after pt but it’ll have to wait. That’s not why I called though.” I spoke. He raised his eyebrow, “Okay why’d you call then ya muppet?” “Well I thought to text you about it but I figured it was a silly thing to text over. I just heard a song and it reminded me of you, it was beautiful like you. I think you’d like it honestly.” I replied, grinning watching as his cheeks flushed pink and his smile widened. “Well what’s the song then?” “I don’t remember, I’ll look it up and send it to you. Enjoying being back home? I’ve seen that you’ve been Christmas shopping” I say looking out the window hearing sirens fly by, must be an accident ahead of us. He nodded, “Ah miss me that much that you’re watching the fan pages now? No, yeah Monaco’s great. I actually got you something just last night I think you’ll like, can’t wait to bring it home to you.” He answered. “You didn't have to get me anything, and yes I miss you ya muppet who else is supposed to be my McDonald’s run at 2 am person.” I reply softly. He laughed, “Yeah I know but I wanted to, you deserve it after everything ya know?” He replied.

“Ah I just laid out my heart just now to you and I get nothing back? I hope you lose this next match Norris.” I teased. “No, no, don't wish that on me! I miss you too, just a couple more days and we’ll be back to our late night adventures.” He replied. Before I could reply a voice rang through his computer speakers, “Stop chatting to your girlfriend mate! We’ve got things to do here!” I felt my face warm at the person’s words. Lando shook his head at his friend before turning his attention back to his phone, “I’ll FaceTime you later.” I said and he nodded, “I’ll text you when I’m finished streaming. Be safe and eat something soon.” He replied, I rolled my eyes at his protective nature. “Okay will do dad, have fun. Bye chat! Bye Lando.” I said before he said his goodbyes and we hung up. 

Finally back at home after getting our lunch to go I sit outside by the firepit thinking. How life has changed in the past year. I truly didn’t think I would be here living the life that I currently have. After Giannis I didn’t think I would meet someone that has caught my attention the way Lando has. Looking at the evening sky, I finally come to terms with the feelings I harbor for a certain British McLaren driver. My phone ringing brought me out my thoughts. Picking it up from beside me I noticed that it was Lando. I slide my finger to accept the call, greeted by the smiling Brit. “Hey.” he said, “Hey yourself.” I said propping my phone on the couch. “Are you not cold?” He asks and I look down at my outfit and I shake my head, “No why would I be?” I question. He shrugged, “Isn’t it like 14 degrees?” I giggle, “Not everyone was taught to live off the Celsius degree system Norris. It’s 59 and pretty nice actually, not too cold but I can’t complain the fire is lit keeping me warmer.” I tell him as he nods, “Okay miss fancy whatever, how was pt? Sorry I couldn’t talk much earlier.” I wave him off, “It’s fine I understand. PT was fine, they say I’m making a lot of progress quickly but it doesn’t feel like it. I guess I just wish it was over already and that way I wouldn’t feel so helpless.” I sigh, pulling up my left leg and resting my head against it while keeping my eyes on the Brit. “Well that’s good if they’re saying that right? It’ll be over before you know it and then you’ll be back to racing and start your first season as a professional drifter.” He replied, I nodded and we continued to talk about anything and everything that has been going on since we last saw each other.

Skip to past Christmas, two days before NYE

“Azha you’ve met his family and practically spent Christmas together, why do you think he’s not into you?” Ria’s voice carried through the speakers of my car. I sigh, “I don’t know Ria maybe because I look nothing like the previous girls nor do I act like them. I’m more rough around the edges and lord knows I’m no model with the societal ‘perfect body’. I’m sure many people have met his family.” I tell her, I could sense her disapproval through the phone. “Azha I am going to say this as nicely as possible, get your head out of your ass. What other man would have stayed around this long through all the bullshit? Like truly think about that. I know you’re scared after your ex but Lando would never do any of those things to you. And I’m not saying this because I am his friend, I’m saying it because it's the truth. I know words mean nothing but his actions have proved to everyone how much he is into you. You should’ve seen how devastated when he was there at the hospital waiting for updates. He was terrified to lose you, still probably is. Come on, even you’ve said that you’ve accepted that there are feelings there for him, act on them! Both of you are scared to make the first move but until one of you does, you will never know the answer to those questions in your head. So what if you don’t look like his ex flings and girlfriends, they're the past for a reason, love.�� She stated. I sat there silently processing her words and looking back on everything. Maybe she was right. “You really think so?” I whispered. “Yes! Now either you make the first move or somehow get him to please. We’re all tired of watching this cat and mouse bullshit.” She replied. 

I laughed loudly and seen Lando coming back to the car with our drinks, “Okay okay fine. I’ll talk to you later alright?” I say as Lando opens the door and climbs in aware that I’m on the phone and closes the door softly. “Yeah you better, love you darling talk to you soon.” She says and hangs up after I say my goodbyes. Lando then hands me my smoothie, “Was that Ria?” he asked while placing his straw in his punch. I nodded, “Yeah we were just having a small chat while you were inside.” I replied before taking a sip of my drink. Sighing at the taste, always the best. “What about?” He asked, looking at me. I shake my head, “It wouldn’t be girl talk if you knew now would it, Norris?” I counter. He gasped and placed his hand over his heart in faux shock, “And here I thought all the times we did those face masks, gossiped, and I helped you do your nails that I was an honorary member of the girl gang.” I giggled at his antics, “You’d have to ask her but I doubt she would tell you either.” He shook his head as he started the car and drove out of the parking lot, “Nope! Keep your secrets, she can be your new person to go on late night adventures.” He replied. “Yeah right you would be jealous if I chose her to take your spot. You’re lucky you’re attractive or she would have it.” I teased. He wiggles his brows and looks at me, “So you think I’m attractive.” He grinned, I laughed and shook my head not wanting to voice what I really thought. You were more than attractive Lando Norris, you are perfect to me in every sense of the word.

Laying in my bed later that night I move to lay on my side as a dream plays behind my eyelids. Chaos. That was all I could use to describe this moment. I wasn’t even sure how he had found me. Giannis grabbed me by my hair and dragged me into my house, “Where is he Azha? Don’t fucking lie to me I know you’ve been cheating on me since I got locked up. I told you I would come for you.” He yelled. I could hear footsteps approaching as I sat on the ground sobbing. “Get your hands off of her!” Lando spit out. My head snapped towards him and I began to violently shake my head. “No! Lando you have to go, please you’re not safe here.” I tried to beg but he shook his head, “I’m not leaving you here with him.” He said as he stormed to Giannis and threw the first punch. I just sat there frozen until I seen that Giannis had Lando on the ground. He held something shiny in his hands. “No!” I screamed running towards them as the gunshot rang out. Before the dream could continue I felt someone shaking me awake, “Hey, hey you’re alright. I promise nothing is going to happen to you. You’re safe here.” The voice said. I hadn’t realized I was crying until I felt wetness on my face as I sniffled and I recognized the cologne, “Lando?” My voice croaked. He grabbed my face softly and began to wipe away my tears. “I’m here. I'm here.” He repeated softly pulling me towards him as he climbed into my bed. I grabbed onto the sweatshirt he was wearing not really believing he was there. 

Soon after I had finally calmed down, Lando sat us both up in my bed making me face him. “You want to talk about it?” He whispered. I took a deep breath as my lip started quivering, “It was Giannis, he somehow got out of jail and found me… He shot you.” My voice wavered. Lando’s eyes shined in sympathy, “Oh darling, I promise nothing will ever happen to you or me. I won’t let it. I’d fly to the furthest part of the Earth if it meant to keep you safe from him.” He said while pulling me towards him. I rested my head on his shoulder as he hugged me, rubbing his fingers along my back. 

I could feel both of our emotions were high but at that moment I couldn’t hold back anymore. “Lando?” I whispered. “Yeah? What’s up love?” He asked, I pulled away from his shoulder and looked into his eyes. It seemed like time had started to slow down around us, looking into his eyes I could see it clear as day. The thing I had been doubting for months. My hand reached up and cradled his face as I pulled him to me. My eyes fluttered shut as our lips met. They say fireworks or sparks fly when you first kiss that person, but I felt more than that. I felt like I was weightless, flying above the Earth. My worries had melted away. I felt him place his hands on my hips lifting me to straddle his lap. He kissed back with so much passion my heart felt like it would burst. I smiled and continued to kiss him. Right then in that moment I knew no one else mattered, nothing else. Just him. He was my lifeline in the tsunami of my worries. He made them disappear. It didn’t matter where I was as long as he was there, the sun and the future was brighter with him by my side. He made my life better. I wanted to live to be better for him and myself. He was my home. I was flipped onto my back, him being cautious of my leg as he deepened the kiss. Soon enough we pulled apart needing air, we smiled at each other. “I don’t think you realize how long I’ve been wanting to do that.” He whispered. I chuckled and stroked his cheek lovingly, “Why’d you stop then keep going.” I muttered. He laughed and shook his head before leaning down to kiss me again. I owe Ria a dinner and a paid vacation after this I thought to myself.