#anxious!reader

[goldengalore]

Ready

An anxious!reader fic.

Summary: Harry wants kids. Y/N isn’t sure what she wants. Feeling pressured to make up her mind, she agrees to something she’s not ready for.

Word count: 3k

Warnings: angst, smut

A/N: Hello! It’s been a while. This fic is based on this ask I received forever ago. Enjoy :)

***

Y/N has always been on the fence about having kids.

As a young teenager, she assumed she would have them when she grew up, fell in love, and got married. Social norms, along with her own childish naivete, made her believe that this was the only path one could take in life. Having children was the next logical step to marriage, which was the next logical step to falling in love.

And then she matured and realized that life is not nearly as cut-and-dry, that having kids is a choice, not a necessity, and that she can absolutely go her whole life without having any if that’s what she wants. This realization came as a relief but also felt somewhat unnerving because how is she supposed to know what she wants? She is quite possibly the most indecisive person on the planet, so it’s no surprise that she has bounced back and forth between wanting and not wanting children throughout her entire adult life.

On one hand, she thinks of her friends who have kids and how their lives have become utterly consumed by the little humans that require their constant care and attention. There is just so much that Y/N wants to experience and achieve before settling into a life like that.

Not to mention the horrors of pregnancy. It’s not exactly a walk in the park, having to carry a human life inside of you for nine months and then give birth to it. The health complications, the irreversible bodily changes, the sheer, agonizing pain of childbirth.

And yet, on some days, she fantasizes about becoming a mother, of holding a tiny life in her arms and nurturing it into a full-grown adult. An important character in these fantasies has always been the sweet, thoughtful, loving partner by her side who takes equal responsibility for their child. This person was always a faceless individual—an idealistic depiction of the kind of partner Y/N hoped to find someday.

And then Harry came along.

Sweet, thoughtful, loving Harry who, unlike her, was always sure of his desire to have kids. For him, it was never a question of whether he wanted them but a question of when.

That moment finally arrived for him a year ago. But Y/N wasn’t sure if she felt ready yet.

“What are you afraid of?” he asked her one day. “I don’t mean that in a judgemental way. Bringing a child into this world is scary for anyone, including myself. I’m just curious to know what your specific concerns are.”

“Well, there’s the usual stuff, like whether or not I’ll be a good mother—”

“You’ll be a phenomenal mother.”

She smiled at him, then continued, “Or whether my kids will be able to have a good future with so much chaos in the world...” She trailed off hesitantly.

“But there’s something else,” he said, gently urging her to share what was really holding her back.

“I… I’ve always been terrified of the idea of having to raise a child alone, either because something bad happens to the father or he leaves out of the blue or we break up and I’m left to take care of this child by myself. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I… I’ve never been able to shake this fear.”

“Doesn’t sound ridiculous to me. I was raised by a single mother, so I know it’s not an easy job.” He reached for her hand and kissed her knuckle, never breaking eye contact. “But I’m not going anywhere, Y/N. You know that, right? We’re in this together. We’re a team, always.”

She nodded. “I know.”

“Well, I’m alright with waiting until you feel ready. I want us both to feel ready before we jump into this.”

In the six months following that conversation, the topic would crop up several more times, like after Harry saw her interacting with his godchildren at a party or they walked past a cute baby in a stroller at the grocery store. Y/N didn’t mind discussing the topic. It gave her a chance to ponder and become more comfortable with the concept of motherhood.

Yesterday, Harry returned home from a month-long movie shoot in Sweden. Y/N surprised him by showing up at the airport. What he doesn’t know is that she has another surprise in store for him.

While he was in Sweden, she decided to go off her birth control and now wants to try for kids.

She plans on telling him later tonight once they get home from their friend’s birthday party. They’ve been all over each other tonight. That’s what being apart for a month does to them. Hell, even a week apart is enough to turn them into a couple of horny teenagers that can’t keep their hands off each other.

“You look so hot in that dress,” Harry whispers in her ear, half-joking because they both know this is his fifth time saying that tonight.

Emboldened by a couple glasses of wine, a tipsy Y/N whispers back, “I want you to put a baby in me.”

His eyes widen. He chuckles. “That wine bringing out your wild side?”

“I’m serious,” she states, glancing around to double check that no one is within earshot of their conversation. “I went off my birth control a month ago, after you left for Sweden.”

He stares at her blankly, like her words haven’t quite sunk in.

“H, I’m ready to do this.”

“Really?”

She smiles. “Yes.”

“We’re doing this,” he says as it finally sinks in. He kisses her wine-stained lips. “Let’s get out of here, yeah?”

“Yes, please.”

Y/N can hardly keep her composure on the way home. Harry appears to be in the same boat, as he keeps sneaking glances at her while driving, his hand caressing her thigh. While he’s always been a responsible driver, she can sense the impatience in his maneuvers tonight.

Once they’re home, it’s almost a race to the bedroom. Harry gently pushes her onto the bed and climbs on top of her.

“Do you have any idea how hard it’s been to watch you walk around in this dress tonight”—he runs a hand down her front—“and not be able to bend you over and just slip my cock into you?”

She moans as he cups her pussy through her dress with a firm hand. He lets her grind against it for a minute before pulling away to take off his clothes. She follows suit.

Soon, they’re back on the bed, sharing another series of ardent kisses. By the time he goes down on her, she’s already dripping wet and he licks it up as if he hasn’t had a drop of water in days. Her hips grind against his tongue like they did against his hand just a moment ago. It doesn’t take her long to orgasm.

He shifts up the bed to hover over her body. He kisses her again while lining up his cock with her entrance. As he slides into her, she feels a slight discomfort from being stretched open for the first time in a month. He pulls out and pushes in a little deeper each time to let her adjust until he fills her up completely and she’s too immersed in pleasure to have a single coherent thought anymore.

“Fuck, you feel incredible,” he says, starting to pump in and out. “Gonna come inside you, yeah? Gonna come deep inside your tight little cunt and fill you up, put a baby in you. Is that what you want?”

Those words flip a switch in Y/N’s mind. She makes an involuntary noise that makes it seem like she’s agreeing with him, so he picks up his pace. Just as he finishes inside her, the terrible realization dawns: She is not ready to have a baby. Not at all.

“I love you,” Harry whispers in her ear, his body resting flush against hers as he comes down from his high.

Tears spring to Y/N’s eyes as she realizes what she’s done, what they’ve just done. When she doesn’t reciprocate his statement, he lifts his head to look at her. A tear escapes her left eye at that exact moment.

Concern furrows his brow. “Lovie? Hey, what’s wrong?”

She just shakes her head while staring at the ceiling.

“Y/N.” He caresses her cheek, urging her to look at him. “What’s the matter? Are you hurt? Did I go too—”

“We shouldn’t have done this. It was a mistake,” she says in a trembling voice.

“What are you talking about?”

She tries to sit up. Harry moves out of her way.

“I’m not ready, H. I’m not ready to have a baby.”

His face falls. “I— But— Then why did you say you were ready?”

“I don’t know… To make you happy?” She covers her face and hears him sigh heavily.

“Y/N, you can’t— You can’t lie about things like that just to make me happy. It’s not like we were deciding what to have for dinner. We’re talking about having a baby, for Christ’s sake.”

“I know that. Of course I know that. But I just— I see the disappointment in your face every time we talk about this, every time I tell you I’m not ready. You seem so sad, Harry. I hate it.”

“Well, I’m sorry I’m not able to hide my emotions as well as I thought I could. That still doesn’t mean you should lie to please me. I thought we were past foolish antics like this.”

She squints at him. “Foolish antics?”

He sighs again. “I didn’t mean it like—”

She turns away from him and gets off the bed.

“Y/N.”

She shuts herself in the bathroom. For a brief moment, a part of her resents him. Resents him for being ready to have kids before she was. For bringing it up so often. For making her feel as though she needed to lie about being ready just to make him happy.

But now, as she stares at her teary-eyed reflection in the mirror, she knows she has to take responsibility. She is the one who led him to believe that she was ready when deep down, she knew she wasn’t. He never once pressured her to make up her mind or acted like he loved her any less for not wanting kids yet. He never made her feel any type of way about it. He has done nothing but be the supportive, understanding partner he’s always been. It was her who doubted that. She let her own paranoia get to her.

Knock, knock, knock.

“Y/N? Can I come in?”

A few moments later, he knocks again.

“Please, lovie? I’m getting worried.”

Finally, she opens the door. He takes in her red, puffy eyes and tentatively places his arms around her, only pulling her in when she steps into his embrace.

They stand there silently until he says, “Why don’t we head over to the pharmacy and get you a morning after pill?”

She agrees, so they get dressed and head out. The ride to the pharmacy is a quiet one. Every time she glances at Harry, his eyes are focused on the road, both hands gripping the steering wheel, and he appears deep in thought. It’s the complete opposite of their ride home from the party, when he could hardly keep his hands or his eyes off her. She tries to think of ways to break the silence, but nothing feels appropriate. The last time she felt so awkward and unsure about what to say around Harry was when they first started going out and she was terrified of saying the wrong thing.

When they get back from the pharmacy, she swallows down the pill with some water and they head back to bed.

***

Y/N: Hey H, you on your way home? Hope you’re hungry, I made your favourite for dinner 😊

H: I have a business dinner tonight. Mentioned it this morning

Y/N: Oh! Sorry I forgot about that. I’ll save some in the fridge for you for tomorrow

H: Sure, thanks

Y/N stares at the message. She can’t tell if she’s reading into things or if Harry’s replies really are as dry and aloof as they sound. Her propensity to overanalyze everything makes it difficult to know. Ever since the incident in the bedroom a few days ago, it feels as though Harry has been avoiding her. Spending long days at the studio, coming home late at night when he knows she’ll be asleep, giving short replies, taking longer to text back. They haven’t had sex again since then either.

After scrutinizing their text conversation for twenty minutes, she comes to her senses and realizes that she can’t keep going on like this. It’s driving her crazy. What she needs to do is talk to him. But he’ll most likely be tired when he gets home.

At first, she thinks she’ll sit him down tomorrow morning and talk it out. But when he walks through the front door just after eleven o’clock that night, she can’t help herself.

She stands in the kitchen, leaning against the counter with a cup of tea, when he enters. The dark circles under his eyes are noticeable. He has been willing to sacrifice his sleep just to avoid being around her any longer than he has to. Her chest constricts.

“Hey,” he says, placing his phone and keys on the counter. “You’re still up.”

“Can’t sleep.” She stares down into her half-empty mug, the remainder of the tea quickly growing cold.

“How come?”

“I can’t stop thinking.”

“About…?”

She swallows the lump in her throat and looks up at him. “About whether or not you’re upset with me and how I can fix it.”

He frowns. “Why would I be upset with you?”

“Because of what happened a few nights ago.”

His frown dissolves into something different—sympathy? Guilt?

“Y/N, I’m not upset with you about that.”

“Are you sure? Because it seems like it. You’re gone before I’m even awake and you come home when I’m going to bed. We’ve barely talked or kissed or cuddled in the past few days. I know you haven’t been that busy since you got back from Sweden, so… I don’t really see any other explanation.”

He stares at her wordlessly for a long time before speaking. “You’re right. I have been avoiding you. But it’s not because I’m upset with you. It’s because I’m upset with myself. I feel like I pressured you into doing something you obviously weren’t comfortable with. I never saw myself as someone who pressures people into doing things they don’t want to do. So, I suppose I’ve been feeling some shame and guilt about it… and then avoiding you because it’s hard to face these feelings.”

Y/N sets her tea on the counter. She never could’ve guessed that Harry felt this way. She was so convinced that he was mad at her, it didn’t even occur to her that he might just be feeling guilty about it all. After how long she has known him, it should have been obvious that the latter is more consistent with his character, but her anxious brain wouldn’t even let her consider that possibility. She walks over and wraps her arms around him.

“H, I had no idea you felt that way.”

He squeezes her tightly, resting his chin on her head. She turns her head to the side so that her cheek is against his chest.

“To be honest, there were times I felt pressured when the topic of kids came up,” she says. “But a lot of that pressure was created by my own fears and insecurities. I just hated disappointing you over and over. I was scared your feelings about me, about us, would change if I kept saying I wasn’t ready.”

“This hasn’t changed how I feel about you or us. Y/N, I want you more than I want kids. Way more. If you decided one day that you don’t want them at all, that still wouldn’t change how I feel about you.”

She pulls back to look at him. “Are you sure? That’s a dealbreaker for a lot of people.”

“Well, not for me. Not when it comes to you. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Suddenly, he lifts her up onto the counter and stands between her legs.

“So. What did you get up to today?” he asks, planting a kiss to her collarbone.

She rests her hands on his chest. “Hmm, what did I get up to? I hardly remember anything other than obsessing over this whole situation.” She laughs.

“Aw, lovie, I’m sorry I had you all stressed out.”

“It’s okay.”

“Maybe I can make it up to you. Help you relieve all that stress.” He peppers kisses along the side of her neck and jaw.

She sighs softly and closes her eyes. “I would like that.”

***

Thank you for reading! For more anxious!reader and other fics, check out my MASTERLIST

[ghostlyfleur]

i very much love the idea of steve with a shy! girlfriend because he is SUCH a caretaker and loves to look after her. i feel like he is also casually dominant in their relationship - he always has a protective hand on her, speaks for her when she’s overwhelmed, knows her triggers… and god forbid anyone say anything about his girl. i just think he would thrive in a relationship where he feels as though he is protecting her and serving a “greater purpose” does that make sense?

makes total sense, love! i’m painfully shy, so i get it.

steve is such a protective person, he loves so hard and he cares so much, so as soon as you met him you gravitated towards his dominant, caring nature… the way he’s almost parental, how perceptive he is to your feelings, how accepting of your shyness he is— he finds it endearing really!

so you become friends fast and fall for each other faster, and steve is always looking for ways to make your life easier and happier and brighter, to shower you with love and attention, and it flusters you so badly! steve loves how giggly you get when he’s extra sweet to you, trying to hide your pretty face from him, and he lives to see you smile. he’s so in love. fully believes you two are soulmates.

your stevie dotes on you and spoils you the way he knows you like and peppers kisses all over you and is so affectionate, doesn’t allow you to doubt your relationship or his love for you for even a second, he orders for you because he knows that’s something that gives you anxiety, he viciously defends you if someone is rude, he helps you get out of your shell as much as you’re comfy with, always tells you how proud he is of you and praises you. stevie is just so happy that he finally found his person, and that you love/spoil/adore/appreciate him just as much as he does you, that you praise him and hold him and love on him just as much as he does you. you’re his perfect match, his favorite person in the whole world, his angel. you two are definitely both touch starved for the other — you because you’ve perhaps never had romantic validation before given how shy and reserved and introverted you are, and steve because he’s never had someone that truly loves and appreciates him and isn’t using him to pass the time or for sex — so you’re both clingy and touchy and so unbelievably happy to be together, y’know? like you truly found your perfect match and there’s no fear of coming on too strong or of showing too much affection or being too needy, you’re both just right for each other.

oh! and everyone in town knows you’re steve’s girl and that he’s totally whipped for his girl, anyone interested in him is so jealous of you because steve only has eyes for you and let’s be honest he’s the perfect boyfriend blueprint to you.

steve finally receiving the love he deserves from his shy! gf and the two being so good and perfect for each other 😌

[fandom-kiddo]

A/N: ok I pinky swear I will write all your requests but I wrote this in a senioritis daze to make myself feel better. I hope y’all enjoy it!

CW: swearing, Tess and Joel have an irreconcilable fight, panic attacks, hurt/comfort, mentions of known character deaths, grumpy but soft spot for you, female reader, AFAB geared pet names, reader is a crybaby but we love them!(self indulgent if u squint)

Cg! Joel Miller X Little! Fem Reader

Joel didn’t know about your regression until coming up from a run earlier than expected and finding you on his floor in the living room, babbling happily as you played with old hot wheels. He looked in disbelief at your sock footed figure wearing an old t shirt of his and tiny shorts. You look notice of him after a minute, looking up and eyes growing wide. You began to cry and stumble over apologies with a lisp, backing away until you found yourself almost in the corner of the apartment near the radio.

Joel’s eyes softened as he approached you softly and carefully. “Hey little lady, let’s come out of that dirty corner hm? Come here, it’s alright.” His gruff voice said comfortingly. You looked up in wonder, crawling towards him gently and slowly. He crouched down, opening his arms to you. You went a little faster, letting Joel pick you up into his burly arms. Joel thanked whatever god there was that he knew what the hell this was from taking that psych class in college before outbreak day. He held you on his hip, running a hand through your hair gently.

“Hey little one, how old are you right now?” He asked gently. You looked away shyly and held up three fingers. He smiled and placed a soft peck on each finger, eliciting a giggle from you.

“You’re a tiny little bub, okay you wanna take a nap together or do you want me to make something for you?” He asked, smiling. A tiny part of you adult brain thought back on the fact that this is the only time, pretty much ever that you had seen Joel not scowling while awake.

“Uhhh daddy make foods?” You asked, looking up at him. His heart melted at the name and he grinned.

“Sure thing kiddo, I can make you something to eat, How’s grilled cheese sound?” He asked. You nodded happily, resting your head on the crook of his neck, inhaling the distinctly Joel scent of pine, soap, and earth. He sung a song that was stuck in his head softly. You recognized it pretty quickly, humming happily with him to the tune. So there you both were, your head resting on his shoulder as you hummed along with Joel singing Little Girl in Bloom by Thin Lizzy.

You sucked you thumb softly before Joel scolded you slightly. “No honey that’s yucky, you got a pacifier, darlin?” He asked sweetly. You shook you head, little tears rubbing down your cheeks softly as your eyes screwed shut and you tried not breathing to not sob.

Joel quickly set you on the counter, taking off your grilled cheese so it didn’t burn before coming up to you and stroking away the tears with his large, calloused thumbs. He briefly thought your resembled a cherub when you were this small. “Sugar you gotta breathe, come on darlin, breathe for daddy, it’s alright, I can grab you one or a teether honey bee, but you gotta breathe” he said, trying to breathe audibly to have you copy his breathing. You let out a sob as you began breathing, looking up at him as you kept sobbing.

“Good job honey bee, good girl, cmon honey now you gotta calm it down, breathe with daddy” he took a deep breath in, and a deep breath out “cmon babygirl, follow daddy” he encouraged, rubbing your arms firmly and comforting as he began grounding you, your breathing eventually beginning to bring you back down, copying Joel. Joel let out a sigh of relief.

“Good girl, so so well for daddy. You can’t just quit breathing on me honey, it’s okay to cry, it’s not okay to stop breathing, alright? You scare me more with no breathing before ever scaring me with some crying, okay darlin?” You nodded softly, crying slightly and frowning, rubbing your eye roughly.

“Hey, hey it’s okay honey, you just did what you thought was right, no need crying over spilt milk, darlin, we’re both learning, okay?” Joel told you lovingly, kissing your temple.

“Sorry daddy, m didn’t mean to scare you.. I jus gotta be tough or I get hurt” you said softly, lip wobbling.

If Joel’s heart wasn’t feeling cracked already, you broke it.

“Why you say that honey? Who told my little girl that?” He asked, carding a hand through your hair. You shook your head, biting your lip hard.

“Darlin, who said it” he asked, trying to keep levelheaded.

“She’s gonna get in trouble if I tell daddy, m don’t wanna be bad or mean” you said, whimpering.

“It’s okay, you gotta tell daddy these things honey, who’s she?” He asked softly, despite the rage he felt coiling like an angry diamondback in his gut.

“was um.. was ‘ess” you said shyly, curling up on yourself. Joel was speechless. His best friend? He could see you retreating into yourself as you curled in on yourself.

“Okay, thank you for telling me, sugar, let’s get some food in your tummy hmm?” He asked. You nodded softly, Joel restarted the stove and finished cooking your grilled cheese before putting it on a plate and cutting it into four for you. He kissed your temple and helped you into a chair at the bar in his kitchen, letting you eat.

“Daddy eat?”you asked, worried. He shook his head.

“No, daddy hasn’t eaten yet.” He said lovingly, smiling softly.

“Daddy eat wif me?” You ask, feeling smaller. He smiled, wondering to himself how he got so lucky to have such a caring little.

“Alright darlin, let daddy whip myself up one real quick sugar” he peppered your cheeks in kisses and made you giggle. He swears it sounds like a porcelain dinner bell. He smiles fondly, making his quickly before plating it and joining you at the kitchen bar. His was just cut into two. He ate it next to you, you leaning your head into your caregiver as you ate.

“Daddy mad?” You asked softly, eating your square of grilled cheese.

“Not at you darlin, never at you” he said in between bites. He leaned into you slightly.

“Daddy mad at ‘ess?” You asked shyly. He nodded slightly.

“Why did she tell you that, sugar? You know?” He asked gently.

“M was crying cos I was worried n missed you when you went on the run before last n it took longer than it should n she got mad at me for crying n said “stop crying. In this world you gotta be tough. You’re not tough, you’re gonna get hurt or get yourself killed.” N I kept crying cos I was worried n she scared me more n she slapped me..” you said sadly, tiny tears rolling down your cheek. Joel had a new found anger that coiled in his chest like a pissed off rattler at this information.

“Darlin, the only time you can’t cry is infront of the infected. Only gotta be tough until the infected aren’t gonna try and hurt you honey bee. In the QZ or away from infected it’s okay, if daddy says you gotta be tough that’s the only time it’s not okay, okay?” He asked, wiping away tears.

“Mkay daddy” you said finishing your grilled cheese together.

———-

“What the hell is wrong with you Tess?” Joel asked angrily after going to Tess’ apartment.

“What the fuck are you on about now, Joel?” She asked, frustrated.

“Why the fuck did she think that crying is a death sentence? She tried not breathing so she wouldn’t cry until she was getting blue in the face and I had to pull her out of a fucking panic attack Tess!”he said angrily. Tess looked at him and scoffed.

“It’s not my fault the idiot quit fuckin breathing, Joel. I told her to stop crying the run before last because me and you both know that stupid shit gets you killed with the infected.”Tess said coldly.

“She’s not an idiot, let’s get that straight. She might be a crybaby, Tess, but she’s my crybaby. It might get her hurt outside of the QZ around a fucking clicker, but not in here. She thought it wasn’t okay to cry at all. That’s who she is, she’s innocent and sensitive and that’s what I love about her. She doesn’t need you filling her head with this poison telling her not to be herself unless she wants to die. Fuck you, Tess.” Joel seethed.

“Now you love her? Cut me a fucking break Joel. She’s a crybaby and pretty much useless. She can’t handle this fucking world and thinks crying is the fuckin’ solution.” Tess sneered, scoffing slightly.

“Yeah I do love her Tess, and you ain’t got even an iota of right to tell her that kinda shit!”Joel yelled at her.

“What, you think you can save her? Like you were some fucking Clint Eastwood? Like your so good at saving people? Like you saved Sarah-“ Tess jeered.

“Don’t you dare fucking bring her into this! How fucking dare you even begin trying to bring her into this? I confide in you about shit and that’s what you do? What about your husband? Or your kid? I’m the fuck up? I thought we were fuckin’ friends Tess. And another thing, you lay a fucking hand on her again, and I’ll saw it off myself. Your not my fuckin’ friend. You’re fuckin’ dead to me.” Joel seethed like an angry rattlesnake, turning and storming out out of the apartment, slamming the door behind him.

Joel stormed down the stairs, wiping his eyes. He couldn’t believe someone who he called his best friend would stoop as low as to attack his biggest inner demon. He felt bad about it, but she struck that nerve first. He shook his head and instead thought about you, willing himself to find his way back to you as he went through the tattered streets of the QZ.

————-

Joel walked back home, buying a pacifier and a few other little things with his ration cards. He walked up the stairs to find you in his apartment, this time wrapped up in one of his flannels, curled up in bed.

“Did my little honey bee get sleepy? Aw hon, how about you and daddy take a nap together hm?” He asked. You nodded sleepily and reached for Joel. He cooed and toed off his boots and changed into sleep shorts and a worn shirt. He picked you up and got into his bed, pulling a thick blanket over both of you. You remained latched onto him, nose nuzzled into his neck.

“Missed daddy, didn’t wanna cry” you said softly. He smiled softly.

“I was only gone an hour babygirl” he chuckled softly, swiping hair away from your forehead and kissing her forehead.

“M know bu still missed you” you said, nosing at the hollow of his collar bone, wrapping your arms tighter around his middle. He rubbed your back affectionately, holding you tighter.

“If it makes you feel better, sugar, I missed my girl too” he smiled softly. You giggled softly, a part of you fluttering at the pet names. My girl, baby girl, darlin, sugar, little lady, my little honey bee, mine. You almost cried at the pure care and love Joel gave you. You hadn’t even noticed the tears on your cheeks until Joel felt the tears on his neck.

“Why are you cryin, my little honey bee?” He asked sitting up slightly, looking down worriedly.

“Happy tears, Jus’ care so much for me, I’m jus’ so lucky s’all” you said through your wavering voice and sniffles to accompany it.

“You’re my girl, that’s my job, little lady” he smiled fondly, wiping away your tears. You placed your hand over his, placing a delicate kiss to his palm. He cooed and peppered your eyes in little kisses, making your little sniffles turn to giggles.

“Y’know I got ya some gifts while I was out”he said, dragging his knuckles lightly over the back of your arms.

“Daddy got gifts? F’r me? Why?” You asked curiously, looking up at him.

“Just wanted to, sugar” he said softly, a lopsided smile gracing his lips.

“Can I see em?” You asked, nibbling on your thumb.

“Yeah we can go look at em honey, cmon” he said, picking you up as he got up, carrying you to the living room where a brown satchel laid on the table. He set you down on the couch, you reaching for him. He chuckled softly”m right here, darlin, daddy’s not going anywhere.”he said comfortingly, giving you a swift kiss on your temple. You giggled happily, watching as he grabbed the bag. He pulled out a pacifier, handing it to you. You gasped happily, flapping your hands excitedly.

Joel smiled, pulling out a teether, handing it to you. You squealed in excitement. He chuckled softly, pulling out a bottle and sippy cup with Elmo and big bird on it, respectively. Little tears came to your eyes with the fond memories of your childhood when watching Sesame Street.

“Thank yous s’much, daddy” you sniffled, hugging his toned arm.

“No problem, sugar, hold the tears honey bun, I still got another gift for my sweet girl” he said, kissing your forehead.

“‘Nother one?” You asked curiously, Joel hummed in conformation.

Joel pulled out a handmade stuffed animal one of the other ladies in the QZ made. It was a liitle white lamb with a pink ribbon on the neck. “I saw it and didn’t think you had any stuffed animals, and it reminded me of you so much I had to get it for my little lamb” he said affectionately, giving you the stuffed lamb.

You really we’re crying now, grabbing your stuffed lamb and holding it close. You began getting into his lap, burying your face in his chest as you cried.

“Thank you’s s’much, i love it all” you cried, holding onto him so tight, like you were scared he’d disappear. He hugged you tightly, holding you in his burly arms.

“You’re welcome, darlin, you like em?” He asked, running a hand through your hair.

You nodded”I love em, daddy” you smiled, kissing him on the cheek. He smiled, thumbing away your tears.

“Okay darlin I think we’ve had enough excitement that a nap is in order, you want your pacifier?” He asked.

You smiled, nodding happily as he put the pacifier in your mouth. You clicked the silicone against itself, getting used to it. He smiled at you, rubbing your cheek affectionately. You leaned into the feeling, suckling at your pacifier, feeling yourself get sleepier at the comforting item.

“Okay sugar, let’s get us to that nap, little lady, you got your lamb?”he asked, smiling slightly at your droopy eyed, relaxed face. You nodded sleepily, rubbing your eye before wrapping your arm around his neck, holding your lamb in the other hand. Joel got up, hiking you up on his hip. He kissed your nose, smiling. You gave him a kiss on the lips with your pacifier still in you mouth and giggled. He grinned, carrying you back to the room and reassuming the position you were originally in.

“Wuv daddy”you mumbled softly around your pacifier. He smiled and kissed your head, letting the firm peck linger for a moment.

“I love you too darlin, so much. My babygirl.” He said lovingly and you held your lamb closer. He rubbed your back comfortingly, shaking his leg gently to mimic rocking your you. You snuggled closer, letting out a sigh of comfort. Finally you closed your eyes, sleep soon overtaking you as Joel held you in your arms, rocking you and humming softly. You felt safe for the first time in so long. Joel made you feel safe in this awful world.

You did the same for Joel. Gone were the nightmares of losing his daughter, of holding her as light rapidly lost in her eyes and her quickened sharp breaths soon fell silent. Joel hated hearing Sarah hyperventilating so, but would’ve given anything to hear that rather than the silence of her soul leaving her body. For once he didn’t let sleep consume him just to relive the worst moment of his life. As he laid with you, holding you tightly in his burly arms as he rocked you slightly. He drifted to sleep as you breathing evened out. And for once, He slept soundly, intertwined with you as your hearts and breaths moved in synch.

[starstruckwillows]

♡ girls like me - s.b ♡

this is so self indulgent, i will cry if nobody reads it

starstruckwillows 🂱

pairing; sirius black x reader

category; hurt/comfort, fluff

summary; you're used to being treated wrong, but sirius black isn't okay with that

warnings/content; self-deprecative talk, a bad date

other; fem!reader, post!hogwarts, insecure!reader, reader has a pet

you weren't surprised to find that the tears stinging your eyes didn't fall.

it'd been years of practice now - as another partner blew you off for a more attractive side piece you'd pretended not to know about, the hurt didn't end in crying.

it ended in you cramming yourself into a telephone box to ring your best friend, marlene. she didn't pick up, and you then remembered she was out with her girlfriend. she'd told you this morning.

staring down at the last remnants of muggle money in your palm, as rain began assaulting the sides of the box, you shoved them in with new decision in your mind.

"hello?" the voice on the other end was groggy, and you silently cursed as you checked your watch. it was nearing midnight, of course you'd woken him up.

"sorry, i didn't realise the time..."

there was some shuffling over the phone, a new alertness to sirius as he answered, "ah, s'alright love. are you okay?"

you bit your lip, counting down the minutes you had left on the call in your hand, "not really," pathetic, you thought, "i- i'm in a telephone box right now, it's gonna hang up, but d'ya mind if i come over for a bit?"

anxiety coursed in your stomach as you internally chanted the words sirius had said to you a week prior, trying to soothe the guilt.

y'know you're welcome here anytime, m'never too busy for you.

sirius black may be cocky, and a bit of a flirt, but he loved his friends more than anything. he would drop anything for them.

"of course sweetheart, i'll unlock the door."

his flat was only an eight minute and twenty second walk from where you were.

even though you knew it was open, you knocked before pushing in, just to announce your presence.

sirius was over to you in a flash, shooting up from where he'd been sitting at his kitchen stool. he handed you a mug of tea before guiding you to the sofa.

once you were seated with your jacket drying on the radiator, and a blanket draped over your body in replacement, sirius took a seat on the armchair diagonal to you. he folded his legs underneath him, waiting for you to speak, when you were ready.

you nursed the drink with your cold hands, and he did the same, sipping coffee. he hated tea, he only stocked it for you.

"my date left half way through our meal to go home with our waitress. i sat there for twenty minutes, ate the jerk's pudding, then paid for it all and left."

sirius' jaw clenched at the lack of hope on your face, and he subconsciously pulled his hoodie string too tight.

with a sigh, "we're meeting again on sunday, and i just don't really want to go."

he frowned, "don't go. why would you go?"

"i... we haven't broken it off yet."

this was a common pattern sirius had recognized in you over the years, since hogwarts, even. you never ended things, you just waited until the other person did.

"well, maybe you should break it off, love. you said yourself you don't want to go. so don't."

you twirled the end of your damp hair, "i can't do that, siri. you know that."

he nodded, "i know, but i don't know why."

it was quiet for a moment, and he thought you weren't going to answer him, but you did.

"girls like me don't break up with people, sirius. we get dumped, over and over, until someone just decides it's easier to stay with us."

something you couldn't discern flickered over sirius' face.

he wanted to cut you off and tell you how much more you deserved, but he knew you needed to say this. you'd never said this to anyone, not even marlene.

your beautiful, charismatic best friend could never understand. the man before you, it felt weird to call someone you'd known since you were eleven a man, was both of those things, but you'd started talking now. you couldn't stop.

"and when someone decides that, they marry us for convenience, because their parents like us. we have a single child. they've always wanted two but the marriage doesn't make it that far, because they leave for the more attractive waitress or receptionist or phone operator."

the mood hung heavy in the air, and you were aware of how sad it was. you've done that, you thought, you've brought this sadness to sirius' home.

trying to lighten it up, you added, "or stripper."

sirius smiled slightly, seeing you needed that reassurance.

"you take your child back to your parents because you can't support the two of you alone, and they say they don't mind and they're happy to see you, but they constantly hold over your head how much of a success your siblings are. and they change the topic when their friends ask about you. and one day, if you were the first to have a child, the next grandchild will come along. but they'll call it the first. because you don't really count, so your child doesn't really count."

you were crying now. sirius wanted to cry too.

you'd been friends for eight years, he knew you held yourself to impossibly high standards. he knew you had an unhealthy lack of respect for your feelings. he knew you'd been hurt, and he knew you just wanted to be loved.

you only wanted to be loved.

but now wasn't the time for sirius to tell you he loved you - it wasn't the time to tell you that sure, he loved his friends, but he wouldn't keep tea in his cupboards for them.

it wasn't the time because not only would you think it was pity, he wanted you to understand you were perfect, whether someone loved you or not.

by this point, sirius had moved to sit with you, taking the remains of cold tea and putting your mug onto the table so he could pull you into his chest and tell you that you were worth much more than that.

you were worth the world to your friends, to your family.

to every stranger you smiled at, to everyone you held the door for and bid a good day.

to the people you helped in your job, even the ones who didn't deserve it sometimes.

to the stray animals you fed and helped rehome, to the one you hadn't been able to let go off and was waiting in your apartment now anyway.

to that young girl yesterday who you found crying in a public toilet, stricken with fear at the thought of asking a stranger for sanitary products.

"you make every life you touch better, darling, and if there's people who can't see that for themselves, it is their loss, you hear me?"

you tried to hear him. he helped you try. every day, for weeks, until one day, he showed up at your door, patted your favourite furry friend on the head, and presented you with a boquet of flowers.

before he even asked, you knew what he was going to say. a week ago, you may have hated yourself for hoping, thinking it was stupid to assume he would be interested in someone like you. except you felt better now.

besides, sirius black hated flowers, almost as much as he hated tea.

taglist:

@anordinarymuse @ell0ra-br3kk3r @kingshitonly @slut4benbarnes

[yellowroseswrites]

i almost cried from happiness when I found you

Jonathan Byers with a reader with ADHD and anxiety

But not the crying kind

Nerves are always fried, just stressed

knee bounces

Hands are always doing something, tracing patterns, playing with rings,

Doesn't mind crowds but some people give her random anxiety

Isn't to worried about school, but is worried about Jonathan, anxiety for loved ones

I need him not trying to fix her. Trying to appreciate her for who she is

Here you go :)

"Your string of lights is still bright to me"

Jonathan Byers x Adhd!Anxious!Fem Reader [she/her pronouns used]

{TW/CW}- Talks of adhd, fidgeting, food is mentioned, reader doesn’t eat breakfast bc of executive dysfunction, but jon does have her eat, but the actual action of eating isnt discussed, sweet jonathan byers, I love him your honor, mentions him trying to ‘help’ her but it's not fixing her, reader has issues with body temperature, like she gets hot flashes bc of overthinking and stuff, jon calls reader honey once

{Authors note}- Tbh, i kinda hate this fic, but I love jon and this reader. so please, if you have any specific scenarios or prompts you want to see with them, send me an ask with it. i want to write for them more! GIF creds to the owner, title creds to taylor swift

{Word count}- 1,101. It's a short one today babes

There was no one in this world that you loved more than Jonathan Byers. He meant everything to you. He accepted you for who you were, and that mattered more to you than anything else.

You can remember clearly how it felt when he realized there was something off about you. You can remember how you were certain he would leave you. You remember telling him about your ADHD and being scared that he would think differently of you. You remember describing what it was like to live the way you live, with feeling nervous and fidgety for no apparent reason. You thought you were too much for him, you had too many things wrong with you.

And you can remember the indescribable peace you felt when he held your hands and told you he loved you. Even with your faults, though he would never see them as such. It was all you. He promised himself that he would never let you think less of yourself for things you couldn’t control. 

That’s not to say it was easy, because it wasn’t. It still isn’t. But Jonathan’s effort to help will always have you falling for him all over again. He spends his time watching and noticing, picking up on ways he can help you.

Sometimes it’s small things, one’s that you don’t even pick up on. He’ll buy you new rings and bracelets, ones with beads and charms that you can fidget with. He’ll place rubber pieces to the ends of your pencils for you to chew on to keep your pretty little nails intact. He rubs his hand along your back when bouncing your knee, keeping you calm but never making you stay still. He lets you run your fingers through his hair when you need to do something with your hands. He keeps the temperature cooler when he knows you’re coming over, afraid you’ll overthink and overheat. 

Sometimes it’s bigger things, things that make you feel like a burden. He’ll stay over at your place when you can’t fall asleep, or drive you around until your eyes flutter closed. He’ll leave with you if you get overwhelmed, anytime and anywhere. He always asks you before inviting someone else to hang out with yall, you’re always his first priority. He would shut someone up immediately if they said anything bad about you or the way you were acting.

You had only told a few of your friends. You tended to avoid the subject, you didn’t like the way people would view you differently or the way they would treat you. You didn’t want to hear about how you should ‘take a deep breath’ or ‘just sit still’. Many people just didn’t understand, but Jonathan did.

Today was a particularly bad day. You woke up and the temperature was too hot in your room. When you wake up warm, your day is wrong, that’s how it works. You don’t know why and you always try to get past it, but your bad day usually continues to persist.

You didn’t want to brush your teeth. You weren’t too tired, or too lazy, you just felt like you couldn’t. You saw the toothbrush, and you saw the toothpaste, and you couldn’t. So, you went to your kitchen to grab something for breakfast, maybe something to kickstart your day, but nothing seemed appealing.

Finally, you simply settled in your bed. You laid down and stared at your ceiling while you let your thoughts run freely. You heard the phone ring but you couldn’t get up to get it. You couldn’t do anything but stare and think and run your hands along your blankets. You weren’t aware of how much time had passed before you heard a small knock at your door.

“Come in”

The door creaked slightly and you heard a familiar set of footsteps approach you.

“Bad day sweetheart?” Jonathan asked as he sat down on your bed, weighing down the left side and causing you to roll a little bit.

You laughed as you sat up and motioned for Jonathan to lie down. He laid back against your lap, your hands soon finding their way to his hair. 

“I’m fine.”

Even with his face being upside down for you, you could tell he didn’t believe you. He hummed before he responded,

“You sure? You didn’t answer my call and you didn’t eat breakfast.”

“How do you even know that?”

“When you eat breakfast, you have a snack right after, or chew gum. You have to keep chewing.” He replied casually, as though he didn’t just call out a specific detail a normal person would never take notice of.

It scared you a bit, and yet it didn’t surprise you at all. He always noticed things that you thought people would try to ignore. He never once judged you or tried to ‘save’ you, he only asked how he could help, and sometimes he knew you better than you knew yourself.

You were quiet while you thought, though your hands were still brushing through the boy's hair. You sighed before you spoke, “Don’t you ever get tired of me?”

Jonathan sat up at that and turned to face you, “Why would you think that?” His hands found yours before you could bring your nails to your mouth.

“I just, I don’t know, I’m a very tiring person I guess. It wouldn’t hurt my feelings if you ever thought I was too much.” It most certainly would hurt your feelings, but you wouldn’t say that.

He took in a breath, you could see in his eyes he was a little hurt.

Of course, you thought, he is tired of me. I gave him an out and he’s going to take it.

“Oh honey,” here it is, “I could never get tired of you.”

Oh

“Nothing you do is ‘too much’. You mean everything to me, I could never think of you like that.”

It’s moments like this that make you wonder how you were so lucky as to have Jonathan in your life. You don’t say anything back, you just allow his words to fill your mind. You take a moment to believe them. Even if you don’t feel that way about yourself, you know he wouldn’t lie to you. 

Jonathan seems to know that that’s all you needed to hear. He also knows he’ll have to tell you again, and again, and again, but he doesn’t mind. He’ll tell you forever if you needed him to.

He stands up and holds out his hand, “Come on, let’s go get something to eat mkay?”

[creat0r-cat]

Markiplier x Teen!Daughter!Anxious!Reader - Take Your Time

Requested by: daygobyinheryeyes

------------------

(Mark’s POV)

I laughed with my friends as we finished up a collaboration video of Prop Hunt. “I can’t believe you didn’t see me!” Seán playfully yelled at Wade as he groaned in frustration. The Irishman had been disguised as a coaster and had hidden himself behind a door, making him virtually invisible even with the automated taunts the game provided. Bob was howling with laughter as he too had failed to spot him even when he was in the same room.

I cut my video off and logged off the game, staying in the discord video call as I did so. “Ahhh guys, that was so much fun.” I sighed, leaning back in my chair. The others began chatting amongst themselves about the different rounds and I looked back as there was a knock at the door and it began to open, revealing a teenage girl, carrying a plate of food. The moment she realized I was on a video call, she slightly closed the door and waited for a signal.

“It’s okay, I’m not recording.” I told her and in a small, shaky voice she replied. “I made s-some lunch and you didn’t come down a-and then it got late so I made some more for you. S-sorry for interrupting your conversation.” 

“Oh, thank you! I didn’t even realize the time.” I said, walking over and taking the delivery as she presented it. She never entered my room when I was on call as she was rather camera shy, but that didn’t really bother me. I gave her a partial hug and then, telling her I’d be downstairs soon, I walked back over to my desk and once again put on my headphones. “Who was that?” Asked Wade, who had apparently witnessed the interaction. 

“Oh, that was (Y/n).” I said, looking up at the screen from where I was about to take a bite of food. “Who?” asked Bob and Seán, and then it was my turn to be confused. “I swear I told you guys about her. Did I seriously forget?” 

“Yes! Who is she?” The three said and I placed a hand over my face, feeling stupid. “I really thought I told you guys. So.. um.. She’s kind of my adopted daughter.” 

“No way!” Exclaimed Seán in shock. “You’re seriously a dad now?” I laughed softly, rubbing the back of my neck. “Yeah. I didn’t post about it on social media because I wasn’t even sure at first if I was going to find the right kid. I guess I just forgot about it after I adopted her.” 

“You could’ve at least texted us about it.” Commented Bob who crossed his arms as I took a bite of food. “This is a pretty big deal, Mark. Does Amy know?” 

“I was going to!” I said after swallowing. “I just forgot, and yes, Amy does know. I asked her how she felt about the idea before I went through with it.” Just then, someone new entered the chat. “Hey guys!” I recognized that higher pitched voice as I ate some more of my meal. “Hi Ethan!” Said Wade with a smile. “Did you know that Mark has a kid?” 

“WHAT??” The younger male exclaimed which nearly burst my eardrums. “Mark, you never told me this! I thought we were friends!” He cried and I rolled my eyes dramatically. “Oh my gosh, you guys! I made one mistake and now my butt is being handed to me on a silver platter. What’s next, Tyler is gonna hop on and give me crap too?” And just like that, as if he had heard me, Tyler joined the group chat.

“Wow, is there a party going on here?” he said with a chuckle and before I could say anything, Ethan blurted out a loud, “MARK IS A DAD!” I watched Tyler’s face, which had just appeared in video form, contort into one of absolute shock. “I’m sorry, WHAT?!” I took another bite of food, letting out an exhale of frustration at how much the situation climaxed. “Why wasn’t I informed of this?” He demanded and Seán yelled out, “That’s what we’ve been saying!” 

“You know, instead of giving me all this backlash about an honest mistake, I could just tell you what happened.” I said, wiping my mouth with a napkin and putting my dishes to the side. “I’ve got time.” Said Bob, checking his watch. “I’ve got nothing planned for the rest of the day.” Joined Seán, leaning forward in his chair and staring at the camera expectantly, like a little child waiting impatiently for a cookie. Wade, Tyler, and Ethan also agreed and I sighed again, getting more comfortable in my chair. 

“Fine. You want to hear the story, then I’ll tell the story.” 

(Flashback: Mark’s POV)

I had been thinking about adopting a child for quite a while. For what reason, I don’t really know. All I knew is that I wanted to have a kid. I already ran the idea by Amy and she also thought it was a good idea. I decided to look for either a boy or a girl, but not one too young that I’d have to take care of them 24/7. I didn’t feel ready for that kind of job, and honestly, I still don’t feel that way now. 

I started looking around the area for orphanages that had open houses soon. I came across a few and did end up going to some of them. Unfortunately, I was rather disappointed by a lot of people I met. Don’t get me wrong, they were somewhat nice kids, but for one reason or another they weren’t what I was looking for.

I got to this one place, the “Los Angeles Sunnyside Orphanage”, and when I entered I could tell it might produce good results. Yes, there were some parts that could use some fixing up, but it seemed a lot friendlier than some of the other orphanages I had visited. So, naturally, I felt pretty good about my chances there.

When I walked around, there were a lot of kids running around and playing. I wasn’t sure who exactly to try and meet so I went to the orphanage director and started some interviews with the older kids. I think the age range I covered was twelve to sixteen, but I still wasn’t sure about any of them. At that point, my mind was starting to tell me I was being picky and that any of the kids would do just fine, but then I saw this girl on the other side of the room. 

She was drawing, seeming to be focused on the picture rather than the other children. I knew I hadn’t spoken with her yet, because I didn’t recognize her, so I turned to the orphanage director curiously and pointed at the girl in question. “Who is she? Why isn’t she playing with the others?” “Her?” The director responded, adjusting his glasses and peering at the girl. “Ah, that’s (Y/n). She doesn’t really get along with the other children.” I frowned, “Is she a bad kid?”

“No, she’s just incredibly shy and I wouldn’t be surprised if she has social anxiety. Not that I’m trying to give her a diagnosis, it’s just my uneducated opinion.”

“How old is she?” I asked and the director hummed softly, scratching his head as he thought. “I believe she’s 14 years old.” She was within my age range so I decided to at least give her a chance. “Would I be able to get an interview with her?”

The director nodded and signaled for me to stay where I was while he got her. I watched as he got (Y/n)’s attention and gently told her that I wanted to meet her. She looked over at me and her eyes seemed to widen. As the two of them walked over to me, I noticed that she was shaking, looking down at the floor, refusing to make eye contact with me. The two of us were escorted into a much quieter room to talk and I smiled kindly at her when she sat down across from me. 

“Hi there, (Y/n). How are you today?” She looked so nervous as she quietly murmured, “I’m alright. How are you?” This was progress. “I’m doing well, thanks for asking.” She nodded, looking up at me for a second before once again lowering her gaze. “I don’t bite, I promise.” I joked and a ghost of a smile formed on her lips. 

Looking down, there were some papers on the table between us that were filled with questions. (Y/n)’s hand twitched a bit, looking like she was going to reach for them but was also hesitating. “Do you need to ask me anything?” I queried and she nodded, finally taking the papers. “S-sorry. I promise that I’ve done this before, but.. I’m just nervous.” she said softly and I nodded in understanding. “Hey, take your time. It’s okay to be nervous. You don’t know me and we’re stuck in a room together. I’d be nervous too if I were in your position.” She let out a small chuckle which made me smile.

“What’s your name?” She read, and I answered. “Mark Fischbach.” She paused for a second, seemingly thinking about something before continuing. “W-what do you do for a living and do you enjoy your job?” 

“As silly as it sounds, I make videos on YouTube for people to watch. It’s my dream job and I love it a lot.” (Y/n) looked over at me, her eyes shining with an excitement I hadn’t seen before. “I don’t think that’s silly at all.” She said, “Honestly, it sounds like fun.” I smiled at her, “It is, for the most part.” She shifted in her seat before continuing the interview. The longer the two of us spent time together, even just lightly chatting, the more comfortable she seemed to be. We got along, and while she did pause sometimes to take a breath and calm down her nerves, I wasn’t bothered by her at all. When all the questions were finished, I waved goodbye and met with the director again. I told him that I was going to keep looking, but that I might come back. 

I knew that (Y/n) and I got along well, once she got to know me a bit more, but I wasn’t quite sure if she was what I was looking for. I never really stopped thinking about her though, and after a few more days I decided that I was going to adopt her. I came back, told the director my plan, and he set me up for a house inspection the next day. After I was cleared, I brought the paperwork in, made the payment, and waited for her to come down with her stuff.

I saw that she was nervous when she brought down her bag, but she calmed down a little bit when she saw me. “Ready to go home?” She nodded and when the two of us left, I honestly felt pretty good about my decision. The drive back to my house was kinda awkward, but I guess that was to be expected. 

When we arrived, I introduced her to Chica and got her settled into her new room. We spent that night learning a bit more about each other, and the next few days had similar themes. It was difficult, getting used to someone new in my house, but it was okay. 

I taught her how to play some different video games and was really surprised at how quickly she was able to pick some of them up. She was still a tad bit nervous when it came to getting really close to me, but by the end of the first month, she was smiling almost all the time and had little to no issues with physical contact.

After I introduced her to Amy, and found out that the two of them had actually begun to bond rather quickly, everything seemed like it was falling perfectly into place until something happened.

I was laughing with (Y/n) about my newest playthrough of a really hard game. I had lost my mind over it and when I said, “It’s the ragiest game I’ve ever played and I’m never going back to it!” She responded with “I thought ‘I Am Bread’ was the ragiest game you’ve ever played.” I froze and the room went silent. Looking over at (Y/n)’s face, she had turned pale white.

“How did you know that I’ve played that game? I never gave you the name of my channel so you shouldn’t know that.. unless you started watching or already knew.” She began to fidget and she looked down in what looked like shame. “I-I’m sorry. I should’ve told you by now, but I was scared about how you’d react.”

“Tell me what? I’m not upset that you’ve seen my videos, but why would you hide it?”

“Because I already knew who you were before we met. I.. I didn’t want to tell you during the interview because I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable or scare you off. You were so nice and I didn’t think you’d want a kid who was a fan.” 

I stayed silent as she continued. “I promise that I’m not one of those over-the-top and crazy fangirls. Yes, I was happy and shocked to see you, but that’s because I never expected this to happen. I mean, you’re Markiplier. I don’t think anyone would be expecting you to suddenly adopt a kid, least of all an anxious and socially awkward girl like me. Honestly, it sounds like something out of a fanfiction rather than something that would happen in real life, but that’s exactly what happened. I’m really, really sorry, Mark.”

I smiled softly and walked over to her, giving her a gentle hug. “I know that you aren’t like those fangirls. You’ve definitely shown that during your time here. And while I’m a little hurt you didn’t tell me about this, I can understand why you hid it. I probably would’ve done the same if I was in your position. You don’t have to worry about it anymore. If anything, this means I can joke about a lot more stuff because you might understand them. Just promise me that you won’t hide stuff like this from me anymore, alright kiddo?” 

Her eyes welled with tears and she hugged me back. “I promise.” When we both let go, I laughed softly, wiping away some tears that had started falling down my cheeks. “Whoo! Alright, that’s enough sentimental stuff for one day. Do you want to order pizza and have a movie night?” 

“That sounds like fun!” She said, giggling as she also wiped away some tears on her own face. “Thanks for not hating me after I told you the truth. I love you, Dad.” My eyes widened in shock as the name she gave me finally registered. “Gosh dang it, (Y/n)! You’re gonna make me cry again!” She laughed and gave me another hug before running off to the living room.

That was the first time she ever called me Dad. 

(End of flashback)

“She kept her promise too. She and I have gotten so close that you’d swear she’s a mini female version of me.” I said, leaning back in my chair. “Wow..” said Wade after the others remained in silence. “She sounds like so much fun to be around!” added Seán with a smile and Ethan nodded. “Could we meet her?” 

I hummed softly and thought about it. “As much as I’d like that, she’s really shy around new people. I’m not sure how she’ll be with you guys. Then again, she knows who you all are and she got comfortable around Amy soon after they met, so maybe it won’t be too bad. I’ll run the idea by her.” 

I looked toward the clock and my eyes widened. “Oh shoot! It’s almost been half an hour since we finished the video!” The others looked at their own clocks in surprise. “Oh dang. Time flies during story time, huh?” Laughed Wade and we all agreed in amusement. “I’d better get going. I’ll text you guys about her answer, I promise.” 

“You’d better remember this time!” Joked Seán as he waved at the camera. I logged off of discord, stretched, and walked downstairs with my dishes. “Sorry I took so long. The guys wanted to talk.” (Y/n) was on her phone in the dining room and she looked up and smiled at me. “It’s okay! You sounded like you had fun.” I nodded, sitting down in a chair next to her. “So, uhm. I have a question for you.”

She watched me expectantly and I took a deep breath before continuing. “So, the others want to meet you.” As I said that, her eyes widened and she visibly tensed. “I know that meeting people isn’t your forte, but I really think you’ll like them.” After a few seconds of silence, she responded. “W-who all are you talking about?” 

“Bob, Wade, Tyler, Ethan, and Seán. They want to meet you. I mean, you are part of the family now, so I’m not really surprised.” (Y/n) looked away, seeming to be in thought. “I’m a little shocked that you’re only telling me this now.” It was my turn to look away as my cheeks heated up in embarrassment. “I.. may or may not have forgotten to tell them back when we finalized the adoption.” 

(Y/n) began to laugh. “Of course you did.” I feigned feeling hurt, gasping at her dramatically. “You say that like I forget stuff all the time! Are you insinuating that I, THE Markiplier, am getting too old and thus forgetting things often?”

“I mean, you said it, not me. So..” I rolled my eyes and joined in her laughter. After the amusement died down, there was a moment of silence before (Y/n) said softly, “I know how much you want to see them. If they’re somewhat as nice in person as they are online, then I don’t think it would be much of a problem to meet them. I’d just need to hype myself up a bit, I guess.” 

I smiled happily and walked over, giving her a hug. “I promise, they’re not bad people. You’ll love them. You don’t have to agree to this if you don’t want to. Please understand that.”

“I.. I know. I’m choosing to say yes, Dad. It’ll be fine.” With that final confirmation, I nodded. “Alright, I’ll tell them that they can visit. Maybe in a week or so?” (Y/n) nodded and I stood up, walking to the living room. “Don’t forget to text them, old man Mark!” She called after me and I spun around dramatically, almost falling over in the process.

(Time Skip: No one’s POV)

Mark and (Y/n) walked into a store together, (Y/n) staying relatively close to her dad and the shopping cart. They walked around, picking out items that they needed, and some that they decided to try for fun or put away for when the others came to visit. Some parents that came to the store couldn’t help but smile when they saw how close the two seemed to be and how they would laugh with each other at the weirdest things.

(Y/n) noticed something on the shelf that they needed and went ahead to grab it, but when she turned around, Mark was nowhere to be seen. She looked around in confusion and then felt her breathing quicken and her hands begin to shake. She went back the way that she came from but she still couldn’t see him. Looking into the next aisle produced the same results.

Thoughts began to swim through her mind, overwhelming her senses. “Where did he go? Did he leave me behind? Did he not want me anymore? Why did he suddenly disappear? Did something happen to him?” She put the item on the shelf behind her before she could drop it and tears began to fill her eyes. 

Feeling sick, (Y/n) sat down on the floor, her foot tapping against the ground as she curled in on herself, trying to control her breathing. She was scared, not knowing what to do. She tried to make herself stop thinking about the ‘what ifs’, but to no avail. She heard a soft voice, but didn’t look up at who it was until a familiar hand with a gentle touch was placed on her shoulder. With that, (Y/n) finally looked up.

“M-Mark?” 

“Are you okay? You’re shaking like a leaf.” 

She quickly embraced him, feeling herself calm down as his arms wrapped around her. He was here. He was real. His deep voice soothed her fears as he murmured words of comfort. “It’s okay. I’m here. Sorry I left you behind. I thought you were right behind me when I forgot to grab something from the other aisle and went back for it. Guess I should pay more attention huh?” (Y/n) couldn’t bring herself to talk but just clung to him.

Mark didn’t question her as he continued to hug her. He knew she was crying, but she made no noise and he hoped she didn’t get hurt, feeling awful that she was upset in the first place. But in all honesty, he wasn’t entirely sure why she was so distressed over him not being there all of a sudden. “It’s okay.” He murmured softly, rocking her back and forth. “I’m not leaving you behind. I love you too much to do that.” 

After a few minutes she calmed down enough to where they moved on to the checkout and left the store. Nobody had seen (Y/n)’s breakdown, and that was fine with the two of them. It had been a private moment. The car was filled with silence on the way home and Mark constantly looked in the rearview mirror to check if his daughter was okay. The poor girl looked exhausted. 

After coming home and quickly putting away the groceries, Mark sat down with (Y/n), making sure that she wasn’t still in any part of her panic attack. He wrapped her up in a blanket, once again and gave her a big hug. “How’re you feeling?”

“Better.. I’m sorry for what happened, Dad.” Mark shook his head. “There’s no reason to be sorry. You were frightened. I do have to ask though, why were you afraid? I was only gone for less than a minute and I was pretty sure you could’ve seen me in the previous aisle.” (Y/n) went silent before softly murmuring, “I.. don’t think I’m ready to talk about it. Also, I did look in both the last and next aisles. I couldn’t see you. I think you were hidden by something.”

“Okay then. Take your time. I’ll be here when you’re ready to tell me, and, come to think of it, there was a large pile of boxes over there so maybe that’s why you couldn’t see me. Sorry about that.” 

“Don’t be sorry. You did nothing wrong. You were just grabbing groceries.” 

Mark hugged her again, the two of them laughing as she returned the gesture, sighing with contentment in his arms. 

(Time skip)

The day for the guests’ arrival finally came and (Y/n) had basically locked herself up in her room. Chica was in there with her, laying still beside the girl and receiving distracted pets. “I don’t know what to do.” The teenager said, looking at the loyal dog. “I know they’re nice people. Mark told me so, and they act relatively nice in their videos. I just.. I don’t know if I’ll feel comfortable around them. I don’t want to let dad down, or make the others sad by not being around them. What do I do, Chica Beeka?” 

The golden retriever in question just looked up at her and wagged her tail. (Y/n) couldn’t help but smile, giving her a head scratch. “Not much help there, buddy, but thanks for listening.” Just then, there was a knock at the door. Chica jumped up and pawed at the bedroom door. (Y/n) took a deep breath and let her out, following the dog down the stairs.

They were here.

Mark was at the door, happily greeting his friends as Chica ran around, barking in excitement. (Y/n) stood back in the entrance to the living room, not daring to get close to the group, but instead just watched them interact with her father. She knew who these men were. Seán, Bob, Wade, Tyler, and Ethan were some of Mark’s closest friends who she had seen on videos before, as well as heard Mark talking to them over video call or the phone. This fact, however, didn’t excuse the fact that she was nervous. Seán was the first to notice her and smiled, coming closer to her as she took a few steps back. “Aww hello there!” He said with a wide grin. “You must be (Y/n). Mark’s told us a lot about you.” She could barely form words as the others also looked in her direction. “I.. umm.. Hi..?” She backed up once more as Ethan approached her. “Don’t be shy, we’re not gonna hurt you.” Mark noticed her distress and asked that they back off a bit. He watched her visibly relax when her personal space was restored. Bob and Wade looked at each other, deciding to speak to her gently while staying where they were. “It’s nice to finally meet you, (Y/n).” spoke the larger of the two, waving at her kindly. The gesture was returned.

Mark got closer to her and the others watched as she stood her ground and he put an arm around her. “Sorry, I did tell you guys she might not be too comfortable at first.” Tyler nodded in understanding. “I get that. Better safe than sorry, am I right?” (Y/n) nodded and hid a little bit behind Mark.

Ethan smiled at her, seeming to have an understanding of the situation. “You don’t need to worry about us.” He said gently. “I know we’re all big and loud and scary, but I promise we aren’t bad people.” Chica made her way over to the girl who gave her some head pats. “I.. I know you guys aren’t bad. If you were, then dad probably wouldn’t be friends with you. I’m.. just not used to you yet.” Mark gave her a side hug with a smile. “It’ll take some time, but we’ll get there. It’s just like we always do. We’ll take things slowly.” 

Over the next few days, (Y/n) gained exposure to the others. They were respectful of her personal space and they were all pleasantly surprised at how similar she was to them. Sure, they had heard of some stuff from Mark, but actually witnessing it was something different. 

Tyler was the first one to really bond with her. His calm and gentle nature made her comfortable so it wasn’t entirely surprising that he would be the one to start them off. He and (Y/n) found a shared interest in some sports and they held some nice conversations about them. 

Next came Bob, followed closely by Wade. They started playing some video games together and while at first she didn’t say much, when she got a bit more comfortable and started talking, the two men were rather pleased to hear her use Mark’s sense of humor. It made the games much less tense and a lot more enjoyable. 

Ethan was second to last. He was very energetic and seemed to have the mind of an 8th grader, so he and (Y/n) bonded over memes. He showed her some of his favorites when the two of them were bored in the living room and she shared some of hers. Their somewhat immature humor made it a very fun event, especially when it came to meme videos and clips they could find on random discord servers.

Seán, much to his disappointment, was the last one. Maybe it was because he was so outgoing, or perhaps it was because she was busy with the others. Either way, he didn’t really know how to connect with her. Yes, they both liked video games and other such things, but he didn’t really know how to approach her. 

That changed when he was out on the porch, petting Chica. He heard the sliding glass door open and a pair of hesitant footsteps come near. “M-may I.. sit with you?” He looked over to discover that it was (Y/n). He nodded and she sat on the opposite side of Chica, giving her a head scratch.

There was a peaceful silence between the two of them for quite some time before Seán spoke up. “I’m sorry, but I have no idea how to talk to you.” The girl laughed softly, “You and me both.” Chica let out a yawn, stretching slightly before (Y/n) continued. “I.. I haven’t really given you a chance before now. I’ve been so.. Nervous.”

“Why?” The teen shrugged. “I guess I’m just getting used to having so many people here that I don’t really know and you’re, like, my second favorite YouTuber so.. yeah, anxiety overload.” Seán looked at her in surprise. “You watch my videos?” She nodded. “Yup. I’ve watched at least one video from all of you, but I mainly see or hear you during collabs with dad.” 

The Irishman smiled. “I’m pretty sure that’s how most people find our channels at this point.” (Y/n) laughed softly. “Pretty much, but give yourself some credit. You guys make great videos by yourself, no Markiplier included.” Seán blushed slightly from the praise. “Well, thank you. That’s high praise coming from his daughter.”

She rolled her eyes with a smirk. “Oh please. I was a fan of you guys before I was his daughter.” With the awkward barrier finally broken, they were finally able to talk to each other, all while petting a very happy Chica. 

Things would take time to get used to, and no, having those five at the house wasn’t permanent, but slowly, (Y/n) was finally able to get somewhat comfortable with them before they had to leave. Mark was very happy. This had turned out better than expected, and he knew it would be a lot more fun when it came to any future visits.

No, (Y/n) didn’t engage in much if any physical touch with them, but that was to be expected, and that was alright. It would take time to achieve that kind of bond with her, as it had for Mark and Amy. But there was no issue with taking it slow.

No issues at all..

[babyghouly]

Summer of ‘86, baby

Summer of ‘86, Baby

Pair: Eddie Munson x GN! Reader; Curly Hair! Reader; Insecure! Reader; Anxious! Reader

Genre: Fluff, Implied Smut (End)

Words: ~3k

Summary: This takes place in the summer of ‘86, after Eddie finally graduates. You are hanging out at your boyfriend’s home and decide to stay the night. It’s hot as hell outside and you need to shower to cool down before bed and Eddie joins you. During this, you guys decide to swap hairstyles as you both have curly hair, but treat and style it much differently.

Warnings: Mentions of Sex, Implied Sex at the end, Mentions of Insecurity and Anxiety

Notes From Ghoul: This is my first Eddie Munson fic and I don’t really write things like ever... so it might not be as great as other fics out there but I tried! The inspiration struck when I imagined Eddie with more defined curls like mine :)

Ghoul’s Masterlist

Tags: @wrensw0rld (Thank You <3)

The final song of Judas Priest's Turbo album faded out, leaving the crackling sound of the turntable's needle hitting the vinyl to fill the room's silence. It was a particularly warm evening in Hawkins tonight and you thought to yourself that there was no way you were going to bed without a cold shower to cool your body temperature down. Even with that said, you were snuggled closely to your boyfriend, Eddie, as the warmth emanating from him was more comforting than the Hawkin's summer sun which was almost out of sight, finally. The needle picked up the last groove of the vinyl and left the room filled with a low buzzing noise over the speakers.

You point to the turntable and look up at Eddie, "Are you going to get that, babe? It'll collect dust if you leave it on there."

He chuckled, squeezing you closer to him and giving you a kiss on your forehead before getting out of bed to attend to the vinyl, "You know they make tools to clean these things so it doesn't really matter if it gets dusty."

You rolled your eyes lightly, "But you're just making more work for yourself by being lazy and letting it collect dust. It's something that can be prevented, so why not prevent it?"

"Y'know, you're really cute when you nag me about my vinyls," He began, a smirk forming on his lips, "But if I remember correctly, I'm the one that got you into collecting them over cassettes. So shouldn't I be the one nagging you on what to do with them? I do have more experience."

You let a small smile peek through as you enjoyed when he got riled up about things.

After he finished putting the vinyl into its sleeve and set it on top of the turntable's now closed lid, Eddie peered outside looking at the burnt orange sky growing darker and darker as the glowing sun set for the night.

"Do you need a ride back home?" He sighed, disappointed that it was time for his girlfriend to go back home, "You really shouldn't be walking home this late at night. Bad shit happens at sundown, I know you know that."

You shook your head, "No. I was planning to stay the night if that's okay with you? I'd honestly rather be with you tonight."

"You'd rather be with me than Mr. Tickles?" His demeanor quickly changed as he excitedly sat down next to you and with a haughty tone he continued, "I'm truly honored, babe. I hope Mr. Tickles doesn't get jealous of me."

Mr. Tickles is your teddy bear that you've had since you were a child. You haven't been able to sleep comfortably without him, even as you grew older. Eddie didn't think any less of you when you first told him about Mr. Tickles, but at this moment you regretted ever telling him about this fact.

"Of course you can stay over, babe, but maybe give me a heads up next time so I can make the room and my bed a little more….. presentable?" He explained, moving his hands manically to show off the disaster that is his bedroom.

You let out a laugh, "Ed, I've seen your room a lot messier than this, it's okay. It's not like my room is any better"

The two of you chuckled and then you stood up from the bed, en route to the bathroom. Watching you walk towards the door left Eddie puzzled for a moment.

"Where are you going? Didn't we agree you'd stay over?" he patted the spot where you were laying next to him just moments ago.

"Calm down, calm down," you shushed, "I'm just going to have a shower. It's fucking hot and if I'm going to sleep in the same bed as a freaking heater all night then I need to be ice cold."

Eddie's bottom lip pursed out and he stared at you with puppy dog eyes, "Don't leave me, I'll miss you too much."

You knew he was being overdramatic, but you raised your eyebrows and said, "Then why don't you just join me?"

"Well if you insist," He shot up from his place on the bed, scurrying his way towards you and with a cocky tone he said, "I'd never pass on the opportunity to see you naked." Ending it with a wink and a smirk.

Your palm hit your face and you jokingly snapped back shaking your head, "I can't say the same about you"

"That's not what you were saying the other night, but okay" He quickly retorted, with his hands moving upward as if he was just caught by police.

He brought his large warm hands down to your waist, making a home on your hips as he guided you to the bathroom. As Eddie fiddled with the shower faucet, you cracked open the tiny window to let the heat and moisture escape. Once the water started flowing, you stuck your hand in to make sure the temperature wasn't too cold to shock yourself as you climbed in. When the temperature stayed consistent, you began to undress, tossing your shorts and tank top onto the floor and kicking them to the side.

"Babe, the water's ready," You started, turning around to face Eddie, who was already fully undressed and eyeing you up from behind, "Let's get in." You smiled.

Eddie stepped in first, squealing at the sudden cold water hitting his bare skin. You hesitated to remove your undergarments as Eddie has technically never truly seen you naked. I mean, yeah sure you've had sex before, but it was at night with the lights off and sometimes you left a shirt on. Currently, you are standing in a brightly lit bathroom, with nothing to hide every detail of your body. Eddie was going to see all of you and that anxiety really set in when you went to take your undergarments off.

"Hey, babe" Eddie snapped for your attention, a cheeky grin on his face, "Hurry up, the water's gettin' cold"

Oddly enough, his quirky comment lightened the mood and put you at ease for the moment, allowing you to slowly take your underwear off, tossing them into the newly formed clothes pile. Eddie extended his hand towards you to help stabilize you as you entered the shower. Once in the shower, you realized this would be more difficult than imagined. The water barely hit you as Eddie's body was its closest target, receiving the majority of its cooling rainfall that sprayed out.

"This works out perfect," Eddie started, "Not only do I get to see you naked, but I can cool down AND wash my hair."

You laughed, "I like how seeing me naked is somehow more important than keeping yourself from burning to a crisp from this fucking heat as well as basic hygiene."

"I'm a man with priorities," He quipped, "and I'll be damned if I don't admire your naked body, what can I say?" Your cheeks flushed red hearing this.

"Can we switch spots, I want to wash my hair," You started, "The amount of sweat that's built up is disgusting to even think about"

Eddie didn't move, pursing his lips in thought, "How about you wash my hair and I'll wash yours? Wouldn't you like a nice scalp massage from yours truly, I know I've always been interested in the idea"

The room fell silent for a short moment as you thought about it, with nothing but the running shower filling in the gaps where spoken word should be.

I normally don't let anyone touch my hair as I've only just recently perfected my hair care routine to produce flawless curls every time. He does seem really excited about it and I guess there wouldn't be too much damage done, right? Damn you anxiety.

"Sure, let's do it" Your words broke the silence.

Eddie excitedly reached for his shampoo and handed it to you. You looked down at it and read the label 'Green Apple, 3 in 1 Shampoo, Conditioner, & Body Wash'. Your face furrowed in disbelief that with hair like his, Eddie uses a 3 in 1 mix? You would have thought that he would at least use a cheap shampoo and conditioner over a 3 in 1.

"Do you really not use any conditioner," You began, "... like, at all?"

He looked puzzled at your question, "But there's a conditioner in there! It kills two birds with one stone, baby"

You set down this monstrosity of a hair product down on the ledge of the tub. It was at this moment you were glad that you brought your own shampoo and conditioner from home, almost as if part of you knew this would happen. On the opposite side of the ledge sat your shampoo and conditioner and you picked up both to teach Eddie about proper hair care, something near and dear to your heart given the curls you were blessed with.

"Okay, babe. Sure 3 in 1 and even 2 in 1 products can be really convenient, but" You explained, "It's not really the best for your hair unless I guess your hair is really short, which your head of hair-"

"Is long as fuck? A beast that can't be tamed?" Eddie interrupted, shaking around his currently wet mop of hair, "I know"

You let out a giggle while opening your shampoo, squeezing a generous blob of it on your hands and lathering it between your hands.

"Well," you began, "It's a beast I will attempt to tame, so just sit back and let me work my magic."

"Thanks, babe." He smiled, cupping your jaw between his hands and pecking you with kisses all over your face, ending it with a kiss on your nose. This left you flustered and trying to hold back a smile.

You worked the shampoo through his hair, making sure to massage his scalp slowly to make the experience last longer and as you did you studied his face. It looked peaceful, eyes lightly shut and a permanent smile was fixed on his face. The look was comparable to the times you watched him sleep because you came by his house too early in the morning.

You broke out of your trance hearing exaggerated sniffing sounds coming from Eddie, "You know what this smells like?" He asked you.

"What?".

"It smells like Starbursts." He answered, "I just want to eat it"

You giggled, shaking your head lightly, "Well it's time to rinse it out and put the conditioner in. Turn around"

You placed your hands on his shoulder to assist him while turning around. Once all the shampoo was rinsed out and you squeezed out excess water from his hair, you dolloped a quarter size amount of conditioner on your hands. Rubbing it on your hands and then running your hands through the ends of his hair.

"Okay, now it's my turn." You said.

"Don't I have to rinse this out too?" Eddie questioned.

"Not right now, it needs to sit for a little bit," You explained, "So in the meantime, it's my turn to get my scalp massaged."

You and Eddie switched positions so that now you were the one in the direct spray of the cool water, sending a shiver up your spine. You drenched your hair in the water, getting ready for Eddie to wash it. You watched as he picked up the dreaded 3 in 1 bottle and before you could say anything he shushed you.

"Hey, hey, hey" Eddie began, "I figured if you're washing my hair like you do with yours, I will wash your hair like I do with mine, deal?"

You let out a deep sigh.

How bad could it really be? I can just shower tomorrow and do a hair mask, that should fix the damage from tonight…. He does seem really excited about this and I really do adore how excited he gets about things. Am I really just overreacting to this? It's just hair after all.

"Fine," you moaned, "But this is never happening again… I really can't risk what this will do to my poor hair if I keep doing this."

"Well aren't you a little overdramatic?" He joked, squeezing out a terrifying amount of shampoo into his hands.

With eyes wide you looked at his shampoo filled hand and then him asking, "Is that really how much you use or is this just a joke?"

"It acts as both shampoo and conditioner so wouldn't you just combine the amount of shampoo you would use with the amount of conditioner you'd use?"

You slapped your hands against your cheeks shaking your head, "Ed, I don't think that's how it works."

He shrugged his shoulders and began to massage the shampoo, conditioner, body wash monstrosity into your hair. The only redeemable quality of this shit was the smell. You always loved the smell of Eddie's hair when he would wash it and now your hair gets to smell like it. His hands were a lot bigger than yours so he could probably just massage your scalp with just one hand. Never in your life did you think you could be so relaxed with so many shampoo suds in your hair, but alas there you were. Luckily, the position in which you were standing caused the suds to wash away quite quickly while he massaged the handful of shampoo through your hair. 

Unlike with Eddie, you kept your eyes open through it all even if it meant risking the suds getting in your eyes. In doing this you became fixated with the tattoos on his chest. Your arm slowly made its way towards them. With a pointed finger, you began lightly tracing them. Eventually your eyes met with Eddie's and he stopped massaging your scalp. His hands moved down your body lightly, making their way to your hips once again. They pulled you closer to him as he leaned in for a kiss. Your hands made their way up to the back of his head, fingers weaving up through his hair. With this, you pushed his head closer to yours, deepening the kiss. Things were heating up in this ice cold shower as Eddie was the one to break the kiss, moving his lips to your neck, beginning to nip at it. Snapping back into reality, you shooed him away from your neck.

"What's the matter babe?" He pouted.

"I'm not the one for shower sex," You answered, "You know I get anxious about things and I just had the flashing image of us doing it and slipping in the shower and that's how we kick the bucket."

"At least we'd be together though?" He said, holding back laughter. He knew you did get anxious about things and he didn't want to invalidate your concern, but you sure had funny ways of explaining your reasoning to him.

"Yeah, but we'd be butt naked and sopping wet. That's no way to go!" You argued.

"Well, it's a good thing we're pretty much finished here, so we can get out of this death trap" He explained.

You playfully flicked him with a cheeky smile on your face as he tried to defend himself from the attack. Both of you rinsed out what was left in your hair and shut off the water. Stepping out of the shower, the summer heat hit hard. The water droplets evaporated instantly into the atmosphere so you almost didn't need towels to dry off, but you still wrapped one around yourself.

"Okay," You started, "So other than properly conditioning your hair, if you want your curls to look really good you can't use a towel to dry them and you should avoid a hairdryer as well… it just makes your hair frizzy."

"My hair is soaking wet babe," He complained, "I can't live like this until it dries!"

You picked up his Iron Maiden t-shirt that was left on the floor and threw it at him, 

"Just use this to get most of the water out, but don't rub it. Just scrunch it up to squeeze it out." You said, "I'm guessing I'll have to use a towel then to get the signature 'Eddie Munson' look, right"

"You got that right, babe." He nodded while scrunching his hair dry, "And you have to brush it from the sides outward with this funky ass brush to get that sweet, sweet volume"

You did exactly that, cringing during every moment. Due to the summer heat, your hair was drying quick enough and your swapped looks were almost finished. You turned your head to look at Eddie more clearly and snorted.

"Babe!" You cackled, "You look like Cher! If only your hair was longer, you could be her twin!"

"I'd say I look more like Kirk Hammett, but okay" He scoffed, "And your hair definitely resembles my signature look, if I got electrocuted"

You playfully started hitting him, but was abruptly stopped by his hands grabbing you by the wrist and pulling you into a sloppy kiss. After what felt like a minute of heavily making out, Eddie pulled away.

"Now that we're out of that death trap," He started, his voice noticeably deeper and more seductive than before, "would you like to pick up where we left off?"

You kiss him again and slowly pull away, biting at his lower lip. With lust in your eyes you looked deeply into his eyes with a smirk forming on your face, "Of course I would"

So much for an ice cold shower.

- END -

[hxspitalforsxuls]

Aby's Masterlist

Let me know if you'd like to be tagged in my future stories!

Stranger things

Eddie Munson

Everything would be alright | E.M x Autistic!Gn!Reader

Summary: Sometimes the world is too much, too bright, too noisy, too difficult for you. Is in that moment that you really need an Eddie in your life, someone who know how to redirect your harm, who knows how to distract you and make your anxiety a little less. Oh god, everyone should have an Eddie in their lives.

Lullabies | E.M x Anxious!Gn!Reader

Summary: Whenever you need him, Eddie will be there for you, whether it's because you're bored, lonely, or because anxiety is slowly consuming you. You just need to call him and he will quickly be in your room whispering lullabies to calm you down.

Little Hummingbird | E.M x Autistic!Gn!Reader

Summary: When you're happy you can't help but flap your arms like a "little hummingbird" (or that's how Eddie has seen it since you were kids) and finding your favorite book in the bookstore window won't save you from your happy stimming.

Your biggest fan | E.M x Anxious!Gn!Reader

Summary: You've always had a huge fear of speaking in front of others, and you've already tried everything to try to overcome it, imagining that people are naked, staring at a fixed point, but nothing seems to work. Maybe you should have tried Eddie's method much earlier.

and many more soon...

[livingbreathingdreams]

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❤︎ Hearsay @jadedvibes​ ⚪️

Single Dad!Bucky x Reader

❤︎ Astrophile @all1e23 🌸🧡

❤︎ Teacher’s Favorite AU @suitk0via

❤︎ A Touch of Ink @deamstellarus 🌸

❤︎ Parent-Teacher Conference @coffeecatsandcandles 🌸

❤︎ Seven-Thirty @nacho-bucky (Godfather!Bucky)

❤︎ Life is Gourd @redhairedfeistynerd

❤︎ Love at First Grade @buckysimp101 🌸

//

STEVE ROGERS

Single Dad!Steve Rogers x Reader

❤︎ Slow Like Honey @heli0s-writes 🌸

//

CAPTAIN SYVERSON

❤︎ Syverson - Vignettes @invisibleanonymousmonsters 🧡

❤︎ Second Chances @notabronte (Captain Syverson x OFC) 🌸

❤︎ Your Condition + Part 2 @sillyrabbit81 🧡

❤︎ Even If You Don’t Mean It @sillyrabbit81 ⚪️

❤︎ Eyes That See @just-chirpin 🌸

//

HARRY STYLES

❤︎ Strange Tides @theasstour 🌸

❤︎ Citrine @moonchildstyles 🌸🧡

❤︎ UNPLANNED @idkthisisjustforfanfic 🌸⚪️🧡

Single Dad!Harry Styles x Reader

❤︎ Adore You @gucciwins

❤︎ Golden Sparks @gucciwins 🌸🧡

❤︎ Baby Steps @ethusiasticharry

❤︎ Trials and Tribulations @hrina 🌸🧡

❤︎ Christmas Magic @signofthebarnes

❤︎ TO LOVE AND BE LOVED @watchmegetobsessed 🌸

❤︎ PARENT TRAP @watchmegetobsessed 🌸

❤︎ darling @autumn-sunflowers

❤︎ You Send Me @ill-be-your-honey-bri 

❤︎ Office Neighbors @atlafan 🌸⚪️🧡

❤︎ You, Me, and the Coin Trick + Part 2 @astranva 🌸⚪️

❤︎ Milking the Grip @awideworldoffanfics

[sillyunknownkitkat]

Would you actually find it gross if I wrote headcanons of characters with an s/o who has bad anxiety and it reflects on their body (if you know, you know and I'm sorry for you) ? Like reader gets "sick". Like I won't go into graphic details obviously but it is a real problem (I know because I have that) and I need comfort but don't want to gross out anybody. Of course there will be tw and all but I was just wondering if anybody would be interested

[haleyhunwritess]

𝐀𝐧𝐱𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐓𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬

(𝘈𝘯𝘥𝘺 𝘉𝘢𝘳𝘣𝘦𝘳 𝘹 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳)

A/N: So i moved into a new apartment for school, like just last night, and I've been feeling very anxious so I wanted to write a comfort fic.

Warnings: Talk of anxiety

"Hey, where did you put the—" Andy cut himself off when he looked down and noticed you curled up in a ball, shaking and quietly sobbing. "Oh no, honey, are you okay? What's wrong?"

You simply shook your head and continued to cry into your hands, not wanting to talk right now. You wanted to tell him what was wrong and why you weren't feeling good, but you just couldn't. When you tried to speak, it felt like your voice was gone and the words were stuck in your throat.

"Feeling a bit quiet tonight?" You nodded, sniffling and trying to hold back the tears. Andy looked down at you with a sympathetic look and decided to sit down next to you. He smiled gently as you turned to face him and then wiped your tears away.

"I think someone is feeling a bit nervous about starting college tomorrow, is that right?" He brushed your hair away from your face before moving closer to give you a kiss on your forehead and wrap his arm around you. You nodded before blushing slightly and turning your head away in embarrassment.

"That's okay, I know it's gonna be an adjustment and it's perfectly normal to feel anxious about that. I know you're nervous about leaving and going somewhere new but it's gonna be a fun new experience! You're gonna meet new people, learn exciting new things, and and maybe even go out to a party now and then—I swear I won't tell anyone! He joked, making you chuckle slightly.

"You're gonna be okay, and I'm only a phone call away if you ever need me, I promise. Okay, how about we just stay here like this for a bit until you're feeling better, yeah?" You nodded and moved closer to rest your head on his shoulder. Everything is gonna be okay. You'll be alright.

[goldengalore]

Intimacy

An anxious!reader fic.

Summary: Y/N hasn’t been intimate with someone in a long time, which makes her nervous about having sex with Harry for the first time.

Word count: 6.5k

Warnings: anxiety, smut (featuring soft dom!harry, fingering, thigh riding, oral - m receiving)

A/N: This is one last idea (for now) that I had for the anxious!reader universe. Lots of smut, but it’s very soft and sweet and full of love :)

***

His hands. Y/N can’t stop staring at his hands.

There are a lot of things she finds attractive about Harry. Too many. It’s actually maddening how one person can have so many attractive qualities. Lately, her brain has decided to fixate on his hands. They’re pretty and elegant, strong and masculine.

His long fingers are often decorated with an ornate collection of rings. Sometimes his nails are painted with vibrant colours; other times, they’re unpainted but still clean and neatly trimmed. She can often see the veins that travel up the backs of his hands into his toned arms. He moisturizes them well too, so they rarely look dry.

Y/N would be lying if she said her obsession with Harry’s hands is completely innocent and merely about aesthetics, that she hasn’t imagined how those fingers would feel in her mouth or between her legs and orgasmed to the thought of that while lying alone in bed at night.

It doesn’t help that he’s a highly affectionate person, finding any excuse to place his hands on her whenever she’s within reach. Even now, as they lounge on his couch, he pulls her legs into his lap and begins massaging them. She’s wearing a knee-length dress today, leaving her lower legs exposed. His hands don’t move up past her knees, but that doesn’t stop her imagination from running wild anyway.

“Y/N?” His smooth, commanding voice—another annoyingly attractive feature of his—pulls her from her thoughts.

“Hmm?” Her eyes flick up to his emerald ones staring back at her. She realizes with embarrassment that she hasn’t listened to a thing he’s said in the past minute or so.

“What were you staring at?” He glances down in his lap, where her gaze was just a few seconds ago.

“Oh, just your hands.”

His brows furrow slightly as he starts inspecting his hands, turning his palms up, then down. “Why? Something wrong with them?”

“No! No, they’re just… nice. Nice hands. That’s all. Sorry, what, um, what were you saying?”

A teasing smirk forms on his lips. “Nice hands, huh? Never heard that one before.”

She rolls her eyes, trying to ignore the heat rising to her cheeks. “Please. I’m sure you’ve heard that a million times.”

“Mmm, not really.”

She narrows her eyes at him, not believing him for a second. His smirk broadens.

“Anyway,” he says, resting his hands back on her legs, “I was just saying that I really missed you last week.”

Now she feels even worse about zoning out on him. He’s been out of town this past week for work. They reunited just this morning after his flight landed back in LA.

“I missed you too, H.”

“This week made me realize something.”

Her heart skips a beat. “What?”

“Made me realize how much I hate being away from you. I know our friendship started over Zoom meetings and phone calls and whatnot since I was on tour, but…” He shrugs. “After spending time with you in person these past couple months, I can’t imagine being away from you for weeks or months at a time. I think I’d go mad.”

His confession feels like being swaddled in a warm blanket. While he was away, Y/N couldn’t stop thinking about him. His fluffy hair and dimpled smile, his kind eyes and boyish laugh, even his cute nose consumed her thoughts from the moment she woke up in the morning to the moment she fell asleep at night. She found herself cursing the slow passage of time frequently throughout the week. To hear that her feelings were reciprocated makes her giddy inside.

When she takes a while to respond, he says, “I hope that wasn’t too intense. It’s just been on my mind lately and I had to say it.”

“No, I feel the same way.” I think I’m in love with you, she says in her head but struggles to speak aloud. She has never been the first to say those words in a relationship.

He smiles, relieved. “Okay, good.” He holds her gaze for a few seconds, then shifts closer, her legs still strewn across his lap. His hand comes up to cradle her jaw as he leans in for a kiss, sucking her top lip into his mouth.

She scoots even closer, practically sitting in his lap now. The movement causes her dress to ride up. Harry rests his other hand on her bare thigh, squeezing it lightly. Her heart quickens. His hand inches along her inner thigh, hiking her dress up even further. Suddenly, her whole body tenses up and she shrinks away from his touch.

“Sorry, I—I can’t,” she stammers, quickly removing her legs from his lap and tugging her dress back down.

She sneaks a glance at his face and detects some hurt there. It lasts for a split second, but her brain registers it anyway. She feels awful. This is the second time he has tried to get intimate with her beyond just kissing. The first was the night before he was supposed to fly out of the city. They were cuddling in his bed. She was giving him all the signs that she wanted to take things further—letting her hands roam all over his body, grinding her hips against him—but as soon as he started returning her touches, she pulled away.

It’s frustrating because she fantasizes about it all the time, yet when it finally starts to happen, she freezes up. It’s like her mind and body are on completely different pages.

“I’m sorry, H,” she repeats.

“It’s all right.” He gives her a reassuring smile. “You’re not ready for that. I understand.”

“But I am ready. I just…” She looks up at the ceiling as if the answers to her puzzling emotions will be there. “Ugh! I don’t know.”

A long silence stretches between them, though it probably feels longer in her head than it is in reality.

“I should go,” she finally says, rising to her feet, but he grabs her hand before she can go anywhere.

“Already? We haven’t even had dinner yet.”

“But I made things awkward!”

“No, you didn’t. Stop that.”

She was trying to avoid his gaze, but he tugs on her hand to make her look at him.

“We’ve been apart for a whole week. You think I’m letting you run off that easily?” He frowns a bit. “Wait, that sounded creepier than I’d intended.”

She giggles, feeling somewhat lighter. “Okay, fine. I’ll stay.”

They order sushi for dinner and crack open a bottle of wine. The awkwardness she felt earlier fades as Harry starts telling her about a deep conversation he shared with the five-year-old girl sitting next to him on his flight. Y/N is glad she decided to stay because if she had gone home to spend the night by herself, her overthinking mind would have eaten her alive.

After dinner, they transfer back over to the couch with their wineglasses in hand. They sit cross-legged, facing each other. The wine has helped her loosen up some more, granting her the courage to explain why she’s been so reluctant to get intimate with him.

“I’m not a virgin,” she tells him. “I know it probably seems that way because of how I act every time we try to do anything sexual, but I’m not. Not that there’s anything wrong with being one, obviously. I just thought you should know.”

He nods. “Okay.”

Although he doesn’t press any further, his eyes are curious and attentive in a way that makes her want to spill everything, just lay out all her secrets and fears and insecurities in a big, messy pile in front of him.

“I’m not a virgin, but I haven’t had sex in years,” she explains. “And I’ve always had to have a few drinks before doing it. I tried doing it sober once, and it was a total disaster. I was on the verge of a panic attack the whole time, and the guy didn’t know what to do. I just told him to keep going, so he did until he finished and—”

“Lovie, that’s not okay,” he interjects, brows pinching together in concern. “He should’ve stopped when he realized you were having a panic attack.”

“Well, to be fair, I told him to keep going. It was totally consensual.”

“Still. He should’ve at least stopped to make sure you were all right. Seems like basic human decency to me.”

“I guess....” She shrugs, knowing that he’s right but not wanting to think about it much longer. “Anyway, after he finished, he told me that having sex with me was like fucking a scared baby deer.” She forces a laugh, though the memory still makes her cringe inside. “Needless to say, I was mortified and never saw him again. And that’s the only time I’ve had sex while sober.”

“And all the times you weren’t sober, did you at least enjoy it?”

She hesitates. “Um, define enjoy.”

He appears even more concerned now. “If you’re having to ask that question, I’m afraid the answer is no. If you enjoyed it, you would know.”

“Well, I just asked because if by ‘enjoy,’ you mean ‘did I orgasm during it,’ then it’s a no. But my anxiety was a lot more under control, so I guess that could be considered a form of enjoyment… Right?”

Rather than answering her question, he asks, “You’ve never orgasmed during sex?”

She shakes her head. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about, but her cheeks still feel like they’re on fire.

“Have you ever had an orgasm?”

“Oh, plenty. When I’m alone, that is.”

“I see.” He rubs his jaw and looks away, sinking deep into thought. She can’t read the expression on his face.

“So, now you know how bad I am at sex,” she jokes to fill the silence.

He looks at her with a raised brow. “I don’t know about that. If anything, it’s the guys you’ve been with who were bad at sex if they couldn’t even make you come once.”

“Oh no, they were all very experienced.” Y/N doesn’t know why she’s defending these men, as if they would do the same for her. Perhaps it’s because she’s spent her whole life thinking she was the problem and this is the first time someone has suggested a different perspective to the one she’s become so accustomed to.

“Experience doesn’t always equate to being good at something.”

“I guess not.” She bites her lip and tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. “I do want to try again… with you. I just don’t know how to stay calm without having a few drinks in my system.”

“Yeah, we’ll have to work on that.”

His use of the word “we” doesn’t go unnoticed by her. We, as in this is our problem, not just yours. We, as in we’ll figure this out together, you don’t have to do it alone. She feels a surge of something in her chest, and the only term she can think of to describe it is love.

“I’m calm right now,” she says with sudden realization, placing her wineglass on the table so quickly that it almost topples over. “So, technically, we could try again—”

“No.” He shakes his head. “We’re not having sex for the first time while you’re drunk.”

“I’m not drunk drunk though. Just a bit tipsy. I think we could still—”

“Y/N, it’s not happening,” he states firmly. “Other guys might have been okay with that sort of thing, but I’m not, okay?”

Her shoulders slump. She looks down in her lap. “Okay. Sorry. I didn’t mean to pressure you. I just want you to know that I want it as much as you do.”

“I know. Hey”—he tilts up her chin—“we’ll get there. There’s no rush. I’m not going anywhere.”

He has no idea how much of a relief it is to hear those words. Her biggest fear this whole time has been him losing interest in her because she can’t seem to get over her anxiety around sex. It’s happened before. Guys often expect her anxiety to disappear after the first time. When it doesn’t, they take it as a blow to their ego and react by making her feel like a freak for being anxious at all. The humiliation leads to even worse anxiety the next time she gets intimate with someone. It’s a vicious cycle.

She doesn’t want to get her hopes up or anything, but maybe that cycle finally ends with Harry.

***

When it comes to Y/N, Harry just doesn’t know how to keep his hands to himself. Even before they met in person, he would dream of the day he could finally have her in his arms, how perfectly their bodies would mold together, how electrifying that first contact would be. For months, he’s been dying to touch and feel and kiss every inch of her, but after hearing about her sexual history, it’s no surprise why she’s so hesitant to take that step with him.

Taking things slow is not a problem for Harry. If anything, he feels lucky to be the one who gets to show her how fun and exciting and stress-relieving sex can be when the people involved actually care about each other’s pleasure.

It’s been a few days since that initial conversation. They’ve had several more discussions about it since then, and he thinks they’re ready to try something now.

He stares at Y/N lying on his bed, looking cute and cozy in his forest green Pleasing crewneck. Her lips are swollen from all their making out, her neck and collarbone littered with red spots where he licked and sucked on her skin like an ice cream cone.

“Question for you,” he says, leaning his head on his palm. “When’s the last time you touched yourself?”

“Hmm… A couple days ago?”

“Would you feel comfortable doing that in front of me?”

Her eyes widen. “Y—you want to watch me touch myself?”

“Only if you’re okay with it.” Her reaction already indicates that she’s not.

“Oh, I… I don’t think I am,” she admits, confirming his thoughts. “I mean, I don’t even like being watched while I cross the street. It’s like I forget how to walk.”

“Okay, different question. How would you feel about getting in a bath with me?”

She thinks about it. “I’d be okay with that.”

He runs them a bath lightly scented with a lavender oil he bought recently, while Y/N leans against the doorway and watches. Once he begins to undress, she follows suit. Starting with his crewneck, she removes her clothes at an extremely slow pace, as if she’s on the verge of changing her mind at any moment. He finishes undressing before she does and pretends not to notice her eyes bulging at the sight of his dick. Instead, he leans over to the tub to test the temperature of the water.

“I’ll get in first,” he says. “Then you can sit between my legs. Sound good?”

She swallows. “Yup.”

He steps into the tub and submerges everything but his head and upper chest into the water. His back rests against one side, his long legs outstretched in front of him.

In the meantime, Y/N finishes undressing. He forces himself not to stare, knowing that it’ll only make her more nervous. She moves quickly now, striding over to the tub and climbing in on wobbly legs. He holds out his hand for support.

“Careful,” he says.

She sits down between his legs with her back facing him. There’s still a lot of space between them.

“Just lean back against me,” he tells her.

She hesitates for a moment, then leans back until she’s flush against his torso.

He smiles. “There you go.”

“Okay, what now?”

“Nothing. Let’s just sit for a minute.”

They enjoy the next few minutes in companionable silence. The warm water seems to dissolve all the tension in her body, which is exactly why he suggested this idea in the first place. Her shoulders relax. She sinks deeper into him.

After a while, he says, “I’m going to try something. If you don’t like what I’m doing or you want me to stop, I need you to tell me. Don’t worry about hurting my feelings. My ego can handle it. Okay?”

She responds with a tiny nod.

“I need you to answer me verbally, lovie,” he says softly in her ear. “Just so I can be sure we’re on the same page.”

“Yes. Got it. Sorry.”

“That’s okay. Don’t have to apologize.”

“Sorry,” she says again, automatically. “Fuck! Sorr— Shit! Why do I keep—” She starts to sit up, but he places a hand in the middle of her chest, gently pulling her back against him. He can feel her heart galloping like a racehorse.

“Y/N, relax. You’re okay. You’re doing great. Just breathe.”

She inhales a deep, shaky breath, then releases it.

“That’s good. Keep doing that.”

Her heartrate gradually decreases with each breath she takes. Once she appears to have calmed down, he moves his hand from the centre of her chest to one of her breasts, cupping it tenderly in his palm. His other hand comes to rest on her belly before making its descent between her legs. She squirms a little once the pads of his fingers make contact with her clit.

“Are we okay?” he asks.

“Y—yeah.” She takes another deliberate breath.

He rubs her clit in small, tight circles and kneads her breast at the same time. Her hands rest at her sides on top of his thighs. As he pinches her nipple, twisting and pulling it lightly, her fingers dig into his thighs and his cock twitches between their bodies. He wonders if she felt it. His middle finger prods around her slit now and slips inside without resistance. He pumps it in and out a few times before adding a second one, using his thumb to rub her clit.

Y/N is completely silent, but the slick substance coating her pussy and the subtle rocking of her hips is confirmation enough that she’s enjoying this. He peeks at her face to find her eyes closed and her bottom lip pulled between her teeth like she’s afraid of accidentally making a sound.

That is another thing they’ll need to work on. Harry likes being vocal during sex and equally enjoys when his lovers are vocal too. He doesn’t want Y/N to hold anything back around him. But they can work on that another day.

“Does this feel good?” he asks.

She nods, then remembers what he said earlier and answers out loud, “Feels good, yes. Really good.”

Satisfied by her response, he presses a third finger inside and pushes all three of them deep into her with every thrust, turning her into a squirming, quivering mess in his arms. Her back arches off his torso as she comes, the smallest whimper slipping through her self-restraint. He gradually lessens the stimulation on her clit, then removes his fingers completely. She lets her head roll back against his shoulder.

“Wow,” she sighs. “I’ve never… That’s never happened with someone before.”

“Wasn’t too bad, was it?”

“No, it was great. Um… thank you?”

He chuckles. “My pleasure.”

Suddenly, she sits up and looks over her shoulder at him. “So… your turn now?”

He waves his hand, splashing some of the water with it. “Don’t worry about that.”

She frowns. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah.” He shrugs casually, trying to act cool as if he can’t feel his dick throbbing furiously under the water right now.

He could take her up on the offer, but he wants to focus on her today. Y/N is too nice to admit it, but he has deduced from their recent conversations that her previous partners were too greedy in the bedroom, exploiting her selfless nature for their own benefit. It’s quite unfortunate. Someone like her deserves to be spoiled, not exploited. At least now that she’s with him, he can make sure she gets the treatment she deserves.

After they’ve cleaned up and stepped out of the tub, he grabs one of the towels off the counter and starts handing it to her, then stops.

“Can I dry you off?” he asks.

She seems surprised but not opposed to the idea. “Sure.”

“Okay, just one moment.” He quickly pats himself dry, then grabs the other towel and walks over to her.

Timid eyes gaze up at him. They fall shut as he raises the towel to her face and dabs away all the little water droplets. Next, he moves down to her neck, shoulders, chest, and so on… After he’s done with her upper body, he sinks down to his knees on the mat and works on her lower half, taking his sweet time and humming softly to himself. He glances up to find her smiling at him.

Once her entire body is dry, he leans forward and plants a kiss to her belly before standing up with the towel thrown over his shoulder. Y/N’s eyes follow him as if in a trance.

“All good?”

She just blinks at him.

“Y/N?”

“I’m in love with you.” The words rush out of her like a whoosh of air that had been trapped in a sealed container. “God, it feels weird saying it out loud. It’s been in my head for so long and I didn’t want to say it because that makes it feel more… real.”

“Why’s that a bad thing?”

She doesn’t reply.

“Because you think I don’t feel the same way?”

“Do you?” She winces slightly as if she’s bracing herself for possible rejection, as if the answer to that question could be anything but “absolutely, positively, one-hundred percent yes.”

“Of course I do, Y/N. I thought I’d made that pretty obvious.”

“You should know by now that nothing is obvious with me.”

It’s true. Even when they were just friends and Harry began dropping hints that he wanted to be more than that, they pretty much all went over her head. Y/N is a smart woman; she just happens to be totally oblivious when it comes to love and romance, which he finds deeply endearing about her.

“Well, take this as your confirmation that I am, in fact, very much in love with you,” he states, taking her face in his hands and giving her a big, sloppy smooch on the lips, which she accepts with a laugh.

***

“That’s it, lovie. Keep going. You’re doing amazing.”

Y/N rocks back and forth on Harry’s thigh, her cunt positioned directly over his tiger tattoo. His thick, firm quads provide the perfect amount of friction against her needy clit.

A week ago, the idea of riding his thigh while he watched her would have made her extremely self-conscious. But since then, they’ve spent each night exploring each other’s bodies. He has given her several more orgasms with his fingers and mouth, while she has given him some with her hand. They’ve masturbated in front of each other. One night, he gave her a full-body massage that turned her on so much that he hardly even had to touch her clit to make her come.

She doesn’t mind being watched anymore. Not by Harry, at least. His gaze is never judgemental or critical. She doesn’t need to fret over saying or doing the wrong thing and ruining the moment. This has made her fall even more head over heels for him.

“Look so pretty getting yourself off on my thigh like this,” he says, toying with her breasts.

A moan starts to leave her mouth until she pulls her bottom lip between her teeth to trap it in. Harry reaches up and drags her lip back down with his thumb.

“Let me hear you,” he says. “Wanna hear how good this makes you feel.” He grips her chin between his thumb and index finger, keeping her mouth open.

She’s close now, the heat of her orgasm building in her core. Her hips grind faster against him. He lifts up his thigh to heighten the pressure on her clit. The tight knot in her lower abdomen unravels, and she comes with a loud moan, soaking his thigh with her juices.

“You make the sweetest sounds when you come,” he says, releasing her chin.

She pecks him on the lips and, before she’s even recovered from her orgasm, gets on her knees between his legs.

He frowns. “What are you doing?”

She looks at him like it should be obvious. “Returning the favour?” As she begins to reach for his cock, he grabs her wrist.

“Nope,” he says. “You always do that.”

“Do what?”

“Act like you have to pay me back for every orgasm. Sex doesn’t have to be so transactional, you know?” The smirk on his face conveys that he’s joking, but that doesn’t stop Y/N from having the sudden, embarrassing realization that perhaps she does treat sex like it’s transactional and just wasn’t aware of it until now.

“I—I know that,” she fibs a little. “I just want to make you feel good.” That part, at least, is not a lie.

Harry has been spoiling her heavily this past week, which has been delightful. She can tell he’s making every effort to gain her trust in the fact that he doesn’t expect anything in return for how incredible he makes her feel. But Y/N likes making him feel good too. She likes the way he hisses and shudders when she finds his most sensitive spots. She likes watching his usual composure crumble simply from her touch. She lives for it.

“Please?” she adds to her request, giving him her best doe eyes.

“Okay,” he says. “If you really want to.”

“I do.”

He lets go of her wrist, allowing her to reach for his stiff cock again. Nerves make her hands tremble, as she remembers how long it’s been since she gave someone a blowjob. She wants it to be perfect, but realistically, she’ll probably be a bit rusty.

She strokes him in her hand and runs her tongue along the underside of his shaft until, finally, she feels ready to take him in her mouth. Her lips wrap around his tip and slowly move down his length, tongue gliding against him. She considers deep-throating, then decides against it because it’s been way too long since she’s done it and she needs time to work up to it again. Any insecurity she felt about that disappears the moment she glances up at Harry. His eyes are closed and jaw clenched, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows hard.

Emboldened by the look of absolute ecstasy on his face, she bobs her head up and down his shaft and massages his balls with her hand. She moans around him, and he releases a low groan at the sensation it produces. Then she lets his entire length slip from her mouth, teasing him by flicking her tongue over his tip and leaving little kisses along his shaft until his fingers are weaving through her hair in desperation.

“Didn’t know you could be such a tease,” he says with a breathy laugh.

She grins innocently, then takes him into her mouth again, determined to suck him to completion this time. His hand feels good in her hair. She imagines him holding her head in place while he fucks her mouth. She never thought she would be into that sort of thing until now.

“I’m gonna come soon, Y/N,” he warns her as he gets close.

She doesn’t pull away. He thinks she didn’t hear him, so he repeats himself. She makes eye contact to convey that she heard him, that she wants him to come in her mouth, which he does moments later. She relishes the taste of it, swallowing every last drop. As she draws back and wipes her mouth clean, he stares at her in amazement.

“You’re really fucking good at that,” he tells her.

“Thanks! I had this boyfriend in college who only wanted blowjobs all the time since that didn’t involve having to make me come, which was basically impossible for him. He was kind of demanding, but he taught me how to give a damn good blowjob.”

Harry grimaces. “You know, the more I learn about your previous partners, the more I want to hit them over the head with something.”

She laughs. “I think I make them seem meaner than they were.”

“No, I think you make them seem nicer than they were.” He pats his thigh. “Get up here.”

She stands up and sits on his thigh with her legs dangling between his this time. His arm wraps around her back.

Locking his eyes on hers, he says, “You are worth so much more than being some guy’s blowjob dispenser, all right?”

“I know, I know,” she says. “I was just young and naive back then, but I know better now.”

“Good. Don’t ever let any man or woman treat you that way. Okay?”

His eyes are so full of care and concern for her that she thinks she might just cry.

“Okay,” she replies.

***

Harry loves writing about the initial euphoria that comes with falling in love. It’s intoxicating and exhilarating and all-consuming. Many of his most successful songs were inspired by this peculiar feeling. It’s no wonder that he keeps heading into the studio lately to harness all this creative energy and inject it into his music.

Today, Tom, Tyler, and Mitch are all in the studio with him. Mitch is riffing on his guitar while Harry adlibs over it when Jeff pokes his head into the room.

“H, Y/N’s here to see you,” he says.

Harry raises his brows. “She is?” She didn’t tell him that she’d be visiting the studio today.

“Yeah, she’s waiting out front.”

“Is she all right? Did she say why she’s here?”

Jeff shrugs. “No clue. She seemed fine.”

Y/N always seems “fine.” She’s quite skilled at pretending everything is okay when it’s not, which can be rather concerning. Harry tells the guys he’ll be back, then heads to the front of the studio where he finds his girlfriend staring at a wall decorated from top to bottom with framed album covers of legendary musicians.

“Hi, darling,” he says as he approaches.

She turns to him, eyes illuminating as soon as they meet his. “Hi! Sorry, I told Jeff not to go get you, but he did anyway.” She gives him an apologetic smile. “I hope you weren’t in the middle of something. I swear if you were writing your next Grammy-winning single and I just ruined your flow, I’ll be so mad at myself.”

“Stop it. You haven’t ruined anything.” He steps closer, taking her hands. “Now tell me what brought you here. Are you okay?”

He studies her as she replies, “Yes, I’m fine. I’m not here for any particular reason. I just…” She hesitates. “I needed to see you.” As soon as she says it, her eyes squeeze shut. “Fuck, that sounds so needy.”

“That’s okay. We all get needy sometimes. Do you want to sit in the studio with me?”

She bites her lip, giving it some thought before shaking her head.

“Okay.” He brings her hands between their bodies, swinging them apart and together again. “Then tell me what you need.”

“I—I need…” She glances down in the general direction of his crotch.

A smirk tugs at the corners of his lips. “You need…?”

She rolls her eyes. “Don’t make me say it.”

He tilts his head to side, feigning innocence. “Say what?”

“Baby…”

He wanted to make her say it, but the pleading look in her eyes makes him cave. “You need my cock, is that it?”

“Shhh! Not so loud!” Her head spins around to make sure no one heard them.

He laughs. “There’s no one around, lovie.”

“Still!” She sighs and presses her hands against her flaming cheeks. “It’s not fair. You’ve been teasing me with it this whole week, and it’s all I can think about. Couldn’t even focus on my art today because I kept thinking about how…”—she drops her voice to a barely audible whisper—“how you would feel inside me.”

It’s been exactly a week since Y/N first hinted that she’s ready to go all the way with him. Harry was the one who wanted to put it off a little longer. He predicted that if he made her wait long enough, her hunger for it would overpower any anxiety that might crop up during the act.

Smiling, he brings his hand up to her cheek, her skin hot against his cool palm. “Aw, I know, sweetheart. You know the only reason I’ve been teasing is to make sure you’re ready for it.”

“I know. And I’m ready now. I really am.”

“Okay, but we can’t exactly do it here, you know that?”

“Why not? Isn’t there a bathroom in here somewhere?” She pushes up on her toes to look over his shoulder down the hallway where he came from.

“We’re not fucking in the studio bathroom, Y/N.”

She groans and lifts her hands up to his chest, scrunching his shirt between her fingers. “But I can’t wait any longer!”

“Yes, you can.” He wraps his hands around her wrists. “You’re going to be a good girl for me and wait until I pick you up from your flat tonight.”

She pouts and concedes, “Fine.”

He kisses her pout and gives her a hug that lasts for several minutes because she doesn’t want to let go and he never lets go until she does, so they’re in a standoff for who’s going to let go first until finally, Y/N releases him.

After that, the rest of the day moves at a snail-like pace. Harry can hardly focus; he’s too distracted by the thought of what’s to come tonight. Every lyric he comes up with sounds too raunchy to put in an actual song. Even his friends jokingly speculate about why he’s acting so strange—especially Tom, who just loves to make him squirm.

That evening, he has to make a conscious effort not to speed all the way to Y/N’s flat. The plan was to pick her up, take her back to his place, and maybe eat dinner before having their fun, but he thinks he’ll have to skip most of those steps.

Y/N buzzes him into her building. She’s on the second floor, so he doesn’t even bother with the elevator and takes the stairs two at a time. As soon as she lets him in, his mouth is on hers. She kisses him right back, throwing her arms around his neck and pressing up against him. They make their way to her bedroom and remove all their clothes, ending up on the bed with him on top of her.

“Naughty girl,” he says between kisses to her neck. “Came all the way to the studio because you were needy for my cock, hm?”

She covers her face with her hands. “H, don’t tease! I’m embarrassed enough as it is.”

He gently pulls her hands away from her face. “Don’t be embarrassed. Do you have any idea how sexy it is that you want me that badly? Got me all hot and bothered at the studio. Could barely keep myself together for the rest of the day.”

A mischievous little grin makes its way onto her face. “Really?”

“Yes, really. That’s the effect you have on me.” His hand drifts down between her legs to find that she’s already drenched, so he grabs his cock and runs the tip up and down her slit. When he looks back up at her face, there’s a hint of apprehension that wasn’t there before. “You okay?”

“Yeah. Just remembered that I haven’t had something so, uh”—she swallows, glancing down at his cock—“big inside me in a while.”

“Do you want to be on top? That way, you can go at your own pace.”

“What if my pace is too slow and you can’t come?”

“What if I come two seconds after I’m inside you? Would you still love me?”

“Of course!”

“There’s your answer then.”

She squints at him, her lips curving up. “Well played.”

They switch positions so that she’s on top of him, straddling his hips while he leans back against the headboard. She carefully guides his cock up to her entrance, inserting the tip before lowering herself onto him. Her tight walls stretch and expand to accommodate him. She winces from the discomfort. He massages her hips, reminding her to take her time.

It takes her several attempts to get him all the way in, but once he’s there, the feeling is indescribable. He curses under his breath, closing his eyes briefly.

“Is that okay?” she asks.

“Perfect,” he responds in a strained voice. “It’s perfect.”

She seems reassured by his response and starts moving her hips in slow circles, getting used to having him inside her. Then she lifts up and sinks all the way down again. Soon enough, she’s riding him at a steady pace, her hands on his shoulders, her breasts swaying gorgeously in his face, beckoning him to place his hands over them. He has pictured this moment so many times, he can’t believe that it’s finally happening.

He starts thrusting up into her, meeting her halfway. As his thrusts become sharper, her jaw drops open.

“Harry—”

The sound of his name slipping out of her mouth like that, all salacious and full of yearning, is a drug he can see himself getting addicted to.

“Please,” she whines.

He slows down, worried that he might have been too rough. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Just— Please don’t stop. It feels so good.”

“Feels good, huh? Someone finally fucking you like you deserve?”

She nods, her eyes rolling back as he resumes the movement of his hips.

“This is what it’s supposed to feel like,” he tells her. “Remember this.”

“Oh, I will.” She barely finishes her sentence before he pounds into her again.

He feels himself about to crest and reaches down to rub her clit. A final medley of moans and grunts leave their mouths as they come. Her pussy spasms around his pulsing length. As the waves of pleasure subside, her body goes completely slack in his arms, worn out from the intensity of the experience they just shared. She rests her head against his shoulder, basking in the afterglow while he brushes his fingers through her hair.

Her soft voice breaks through the silence. “I didn’t know it could feel this good. I’ve been missing out.”

“We’ve got plenty of time to catch you up. Don’t you worry.” He kisses the side of her head, earning a contented sigh from her.

***

Thank you for reading! For more anxious!reader and other fics, check out my MASTERLIST

[maybanksbabe]

been very anxious tonight so this is a bit self serving but it was too sweet not to send in some thoughts 🥲

JJ with a r who has anxiety, but not just around new people anxious, like seriously overthinking even when it’s just the two of them and convincing herself she’s sick, her friends hate her, or that someone’s in danger.

at first, these little anxiety spells made JJ nervous, he deals with panic attacks and anxiety as well and he just hates to see r so upset, he knows how real it feels even when nothing is wrong.

The worst is when r has anxiety attacks that cause physical symptoms, and she’s convinced something is wrong even when JJ knows there isn’t. He hates having to see her so scared and defensive, even against him, but he knows it’s just her brain on overdrive, so he has to learn to slow down, speak softly, and rationalize situations to her.

slowly, he learns her triggers and what calms her better than she knows herself. he gets better at reading her body language and knowing that she’s getting overwhelmed before the feeling is too much to bear.

he takes her on walks on the beach, pointing out constellations he learned (or just made up), and shows her how the water washing over her feet or letting sand run through her hands can help to calm that chest ache of worry.

after trying to hide her anxiety for so long, r is a different level of relieved to have someone who understands, someone who doesn’t get annoyed or impatient even on her worst days, when it seems like the bad thoughts never stop.

R has gone from too nervous to even touch JJ in front of their friends for fear of being too clingy to draping herself over his lap every time her heart and thoughts start racing, and he immediately knows to just run his hands through her hair or up and down her back until she’s feeling better.

being with r helps jj with his own anxiety as he learns it doesn’t make you weak, or lesser than for being with mental issues. being able to be there for her is almost therapeutic for him as he realizes that living with anxiety won’t keep him from living a happy life with someone who cares about him. (i hope this makes sense it made more sense in my head)

bonus points for a R who goes nonverbal when extremely anxious (guilty) and people/partners have always gotten upset with her for this but JJ just holds her, telling her he loves her and he understands and he’s ready to listen when she can talk about it, and she never had to feel unsafe or insecure around him 🫠

again this is very self serving but jj x anxious!reader has my heart

-🐝

Oh babes we're all going through it rn 🧡🧡

This is such a good concept though?? JJ finding someone that finally Understands. Like yeah the Pogues are supportive and know he probably has anxiety based issues and try to help but being with someone that knows and understands exactly how it works and feels and having each other to lean on and look after 🥺

[ravenous-writing-desk]

What's up friends I'm anxious again so here's

Genshin Impact x Anxious!Reader

Bennet:

- Benny boy here does wonders at calming you down in that lots of other things will go (usually comically) wrong until you're not even focused on the big bad anymore

- anxious about a storm? Don't worry about it anymore when the thunder makes him jump into a picture by surprise!

-nervous about a test? Who needs that when you can help him pick up his pencils that spilled all over the hallway? (Again)

Childe:

- I feel like Childe is a very "work out to work it out" kind of guy. He'd never admit it but he gets anxious about things he can't help pretty often too, so he hits the gym a lot

- he'll teach you how to punch or give you pointers on a kick if you want to hit the punching bags, or he'll make sure to grab you an extra water bottle so you can run your worries away in peace

- if you aren't the working out type (he'll still try to get you to try it out), I feel like he's the type to start a dumb competition to get your mind off of what's wrong. Whether it's an endless round of rock paper scissors or a Tekken battle royale, this guy is gonna give his all to make you smile again

Xiangling:

-you already know it's comfort food time. She'll have your favorite snacks ready in a jiffy, so just curl up near the fire or grab a seat and watch her go! If you want someone near you, gouba is more than happy to be your buddy!

- if food isn't your style, I feel like she'd be very into taking walks around town and talking to people. You don't have to talk, she's more than happy to supply the conversation, but having a normal day can do wonders to keep anxious thoughts away, especially around someone as cheerful as her!

Albedo:

- honestly albedo probably forgets to be helpful at times like this. Unless you Really like talking it out. This guy will use logic to dismantle your fears, but he isn't doing it on purpose. He'll come up with a million different hypothesis, the only differences between him and your anxiety is that he tells you the real probability, and some of his guesses aren't completely horrible

- he's also really good for drowning out your anxieties though. If you tell him you're feeling down and you just want to listen to him talk (either for a distraction or something to sleep too, he won't mind) he's quick to agree. He's not the type to make you talk about your issues, although I'm sure he'll try to guess what's wrong in his head. He'll narrative his experiments or read his books aloud, it's no touble to him.

Lisa:

- Lisa will "take a break" to let you curl up to her while she reads. The calmness of her heartbeat will sooth whatever worries you have far away.

- or, if there's some unavoidable work, she'll let you join her. She'll let you carry books or whatever else she needs so you can feel useful and have something else to concentrate on

Thoma:

- Thoma gives good hugs. He'll literally put just the right amount of pressure everytime to make everything feel kind of okay again. Like surely, if you were cracking, he just put you back together

- he also would let you accompany him around town for work, but he would joke around more while working to try to get you back to being your usual self

Chungyong:

- he gets it. His yang energy goes crazy sometimes too.

- he'll offer you a popsicle! They always help him, so maybe it'll help you too?

- besides that, he asks if you want to find xingqiu. He always feels better after hanging out with him, so maybe you will too? You always seem to laugh when you run into both of them :)

Xingchou:

- will offer to read you a book

- will offer you to read him a book

- will offer to read together in silence

- these are in quick succession.

- if you don't fancy any of those, you can always go with him to mess with chungyong?

- that's it. That's really all the ways he knows to feel better

[radiorumble]

Sketches all inspired by Part 5 from @ioniiaa's fanfic "My Darling, My Honey"

I drew my own oc but tried to keep her generic for the y/n vibe, I love a good fic about knowing Alastor during life, reuniting in Hell after going through Hell sounds lovely.

[ohoh-inmortal]

Simon's always sighing deeply and at the beginning of your relationship you thought it was because he was disappointed or mad at you but then you realized is just because dummy forgets to breathe and is always tired