#she is scamming you

[cantagirldrawinpeace]

Certified cutie patootie (she is very violent 😌)

[theminecraftbee]

speaking of empires characters joel reminded me of: i do still maintain that while i love ocean empire lizzie being a fish from the start in fics (because i love Creature worldbuilding). so many people still miss the absolute FUNNIEST parts of her character. which were:

she wasn't actually a fish from the start, she instead was just a lady who decided to build her kingdom on the ocean and then halfway through had a horrifying lovecraftian transformation into a fish lady because it turns out she was secretly an ocean goddess with amnesia the entire time

she then decided to sell the equivalent of tourist trap nessie tours about it.

truly, the perfect woman,

[izzystizzys]

Half the jobs Fox is sent on are not within his jurisdiction. This certainly isn’t.

Planetary protection unit, they said. Military police. Orbital security force.

And now Fox is being pointed at Count Dooku on some backwater planet and told to fetch. How the mighty have fallen.

He’s pretty sure Kenobi, Skywalker and their units could’ve karked this all up perfectly fine on their lonesome; they don’t need three Guardsmen there to watch them do it. But the Chancellor says jump and Fox surpressed the urge to bash his head in with a durasteel chair. So it goes.

Which is when things start going terribly, terribly wrong, of course.

“Is that Spinder?!”, Skywalker exclaims, arms wheeling out in the air wildly to try and catch his balance. “The Count fucks?!”

Across the room, Cody rips his helmet off, several shades redder than a baseline human should be. “The Count fucks my brother?!”

Two lightsticks hover uselessly in the air, Skywalker’s zig-zagging in a relentless hum with his gesturing. Fox stands stock-still, in the hope that maybe he’ll spontaneously turn invisible if he does. Around them, 501st and 212th troopers gape through helmets. Behind him, Nuisance gasps for air amidst screaming laughter.

Ping, went Fox’s comm unit, in that unmistakeable lascivious jingle sound. Ping, answered Count Dooku’s within a split second. Match found close by.

For a moment, Fox considers what it would be like to run at the Count’s lightsaber at full speed.

…not like that.

“Count”, Kenobi says, with a face like he’s bitten into a rotten fruit. Not that Fox knows what fruit tastes like. “This is a highly… unexpected development.” He fwoosh-es his lightsaber shut, obviously having given up on fighting. “I’d call it a conflict of interest, but I’m not sure that applies?”

“Oh, it’s gonna be a conflict of something, for sure”, Cody hisses, fists clenched at his sides. He looks about ready to boil over, with Crys and Waxer inching closer in preparation. “What have you done to my brother, you monster?!”

“I don’t think you want to know that, Commander”, Nuisance gasps out between barks of laughter, proving why he’s eternally Fox’s least favourite. Cody’s splotchy red complexion slowly fades into ghostly white as a sheen of horror settles over the room. “Thanks for the fancy chocolate bouquet last week, Count!”

Dooku, who has been thus far staring at the floor with an empty thousand-klick stare, looks up at that. Fox has seldom seen a man that defeated outside of the mirror, he has to admit - but shudders when he remembers exactly what the chocolates were for.

Oh Force, he’s sexted Count Dooku into buying him gifts. Does that make him a Seppie spy? Traitor by proxy?

“I feel”, says the Count, gravely, still holding his long red laserknife in a white-knuckled death-grip, “that I have been taken for a fool.”

“Uh”, says Fox, nervously. All eyes snap to him. Oh Force, oh Force, oh Force. They’re going to invent a whole new kind of decommissioning for this and name it after Fox.

“Is it really scamming if you actually get what you pay for?”, asks Grids, considering. Fox slowly pulls off his helmet just for the comforting feeling of burying his head in his gloved palms. The sounds of a struggle ensue, and Kenobi makes a choked-off noise. Maybe if he’s embarrassed enough he’ll give himself an aneurysm.

“Grandmaster, why are you paying people for naked pictures of themselves on the holonet?!” Kenobi asks, despairingly. “Aren’t you a little old for that?”

“Oi, no one said I was naked!”, Fox exclaims, head whipping up.

“So naked”, Nuisance laughs, palm thumping against the floor. He might be crying.

“I’m not decrepit”, the Count blusters, and Skywalker makes a gagging noise. “I have - there are needs, and they are perfectly natural!” It takes three troopers to restrain Cody from launching himself at the Count.

[itaogo]

"With love,

Ada Tennant."

[likeafantasy]

[fishareglorious]

i'd like to think that rusalka biology is a little like sharks wherein they kinda regularly shed and can easily regrow their teeth. which brings us to vila who has inherited this trait and just. kinda pops out her teeth every once in a while.

for the longest time she was ashamed of the whole thing and would try and discard the teeth as discreetly as possible but upon getting into rayashki the townsfolk help her shed the negative bias to a point that she sometimes gives them away to the people she really likes (which. pretty much a lot if not all of them) as little trinkets.

which brings us to a situation where one day vila randomly feels a tooth coming loose so she pulls it off and casually offers it to windsong in the middle of the rayashki cafeteria.

in a collective moment to tease the shit outta the two because of whatever thing that's been brewing between them, everyone there acts like vila dropped down to a knee and proposed to her lmfao

[moghedien]

Shallan, a committer of matricide and patricide who tracked Jasnah across continents in order to lure her into a false sense of trust and security so that she can rob Jasnah of her most valuable possession in order to commit scams to get her family some money: Jasnah doesn’t trust me 🥺

[lyrakanefanatic]

you know what would be the funniest plot twist? if lyra WAS actually a con artist

so YK how grayson accused avery of being a con artist when she was first written into the will? well, avery was accused of being a con artist yet wasn’t one, and what if lyra wasn’t accused of being a con artist but was one 💀

like imagine she’s working for eve or something like slate 💀💀💀

[askinnyblackman]

just thinking abou what it would be like if taylor swift tweeted “free palestine.” it would be pandemonium. they would talk about it on msnbc and fox news and cnn and npr. joe biden and kamala harris would have to say something about it. she wouldn’t even have to say “ceasefire” or “arms embargo” and it would be an international headline. her audience is so big they wouldn’t be able to make her disappear from public discourse like they did for greta thunberg when she started saying “actually capitalism is the problem”

she forced ticketmaster (an objective evil) to make a public apology! like trump, she has the power to singlehandedly shift the window of discourse and potentially affect policy but unlike trump she will not do it because her activism only goes as far as it will benefit her brand. she will endorse democrats and do nothing more

[genericpuff]

I've been a bit of a salty spitoon over the recent events unfolding at NYCC so here's some GOOD news (sorta) >:00

I say (sorta) because I'm not a huge fan of mongie's work (or mongie herself) either, but DAMN if this lady doesn't know how to GET SHIT DONE-

Like GODDAMN is there a lot to show for here \(￣︶￣*\)

I don't know what the Let's Play After Dark or Omnibus works are, but it's really cool to see Linda Sejic's art here, I had NO idea what to expect when mongie announced she was going to NYCC and collaborating with Linda. I'm assuming Omnibus is likely a novelization or some kind of complimentary book to Let's Play because it has over 700 pages of stuff which is wild. Unless they just went and re-skinned the Volume 1 cover of Let's Play, I have no clue but it looks great. As for After Dark, yeah, again, no clue LMAO

Let's Play is returning in 2025, AND she's starting up a new series over on Manta (a publishing platform that's open to NSFW material which will definitely be better for mongie's work and will hopefully give WT a run for their money LOL) She hasn't stated yet where Let's Play's new home will be, but I'm assuming if it's not Manta, it might be a new independently-run site altogether, but again, we'll just have to wait and see. I remember her mentioning she wanted to do a fantasy series on her Patreon ages ago so it seems like she's finally getting the opportunity to do so. I have no idea what she's going to do with Let's Play after its S3 jump the shark finale LMAO

She's getting some merch made with BIOWORLD which is neat, though it'll be interesting to see how the quality comes out because the last creator I saw working with BIOWORLD was Smythe and the merch was uhhhh- not great. I posted about it on IG a while back but I don't know if I ever talked about it here so I'll def make that as a separate post for anyone who's curious.

But the BIG one - Let's Play is getting an anime, and it's from an actual animation studio which is a way bigger sign that it's a sure thing.

Again, I'm not a huge fan anymore of Let's Play or mongie in general, but I gotta give her credit where credit is due, she had WAY more to show for herself at NYCC than Rachel did, and the fact that she did all this after burning her bridges with WT, that's gotta sting for WT's and Rachel who still don't have anything to show for an animated TV show after four years. At this rate, there are gonna be more creators succeeding on a mass scale by choosing not to publish with Webtoons than those who did.

And who knows, maybe the anime adaption will tidy up all the problems original Let's Play had. It remains to be seen, but I think it's pretty neat to see mongie making such strides since she left the platform.

Something something, "I don't care if mongie wins, I just want Webtoons to lose" 😂

[thedisablednaturalist]

spent 3 hours last night panic searching for doctors to help me with my fibromyalgia. They are all either scams, extremely expensive boutique options (but are actually good apparently, if you have the money), extremely expensive scams, or have never heard of fibromyalgia and kick you out after 15 minutes.

[eternalera]

swagdoons moodboard aesthetic whatever this is :)

[stresslitzia]

What a way to go out.

[heros-shade-fanclub]

link and midna find each other on animal jam after twilight princess

[fishareglorious]

reading the latest chapter of the isokania elope to the americas fic and oh my god.

kakania got scammed by tennant im losing my shit giggling

IM LOSING MY SHIT EVEN MORE BOTH OF THEM GOT SCAMMED BY TENNANT TRYING TO BUY JEWELRY FOR EACH OTHER

[sugaroto]

Dorian: hey thanks for earlier-

Damien:...

Damien: I KNOW YOU ARE DATING THE QUEEN USE CONDOMS