#she needs to stop blaming her problems on the world and start looking at herself

[loveesiren]

𝖲𝗍𝖺𝗋𝖽𝗎𝗌𝗍 - 𝖢.𝖲. (𝖯𝗍. 3)

Disclaimer: Hate hate hate this chapter but some of y'all were getting mean so here is chapter 3. I think it's trash. My motivation has been shit lately so we'll see where this story goes.

Synopsis: Y/n runs away from her problems

Warnings: Language, heroin use, angst, 18+

Word Count: 2.8k+

Chris’s POV

I swear I was going to lose my fucking my mind in this tiny concrete room. I hadn’t even been in here for two hours and the anxiety was taking over. The cop sat at his desk, sipping his coffee loudly while watching a football game on a small tv that faced away from me. I was going to have to sit here until Monday morning and all I had to do was think. 

A million thoughts ran through my head. I’m sure Matt and Nick already called our parents and they were going to be pissed beyond belief. Luckily our podcast was pre-recorded but if I’m not out soon news is going to get around that I’m in here. But most of all, I thought about Y/n. She seemed so upset. I knew she was blaming herself for this and I prayed she wouldn’t do anything stupid. I know how vulnerable she can get when she’s down. But I know Matt and Nick will look out for her.

“Yo, don’t I get a phone call or something?” I asked the cop.

He responded with a long sigh, as if my question was making his entire job more difficult. I furrowed my brows at him, awaiting his response. “Fine.” He finally said. He got up and unlocked the cell door before leading me over to the phone. “You got two minutes, kid.”

I nodded and picked up the phone. I dialed Nick’s number, knowing he was most likely to answer.

“Hello?”

“Nick? Hey! It’s Chris!”

“Chris! Are you okay?!”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine.” I responded. I could hear Matt in the background and Nick switched his phone to speaker.

“Chris, we'll bond you out first thing after your hearing on Monday! Mom and dad already hired a lawyer.” Matt said.

I sighed, knowing how disappointed they were going to be. “Cool. Cool. Uhhh can I talk to Y/n?”

Matt and Nick were both silent for a few moments. “Uhm…she’s not here…”

“Well where is she?”

“I’m not sure…”

I could hear the change in Nicks voice. Something was wrong. “What’s going on? Why are you talking like that?”

“Well…She uhm…Her and Matt kind of-”

“I kicked her out!”

“You did what?!”

“She’s always gotten you into trouble, Chris. I’m sick of it. I don’t want to see you ruin your life over her. I know you’re like in love with her or whatever but-”

“Go find her. Now!” I spat. “You don’t fucking understand, Matt. You don’t fucking understand what you did! Go find her and make sure she is fucking safe!”

“Chris, what do you mean?”

“Now!” I slammed the phone down on the receiver.

“Watch it!” The cop said. I bit my tongue and followed him back to my cell. 

I sat in the corner of the tiny bed and buried my head in my knees, trying to fight the tears threatening to spill from my eyes. I loved Y/n more than anything in the entire world and I knew her better than anyone. I was the only one who knew she experimented with opioids. I tried them with her but I noticed how she started using them to numb her pain and I quit. After having to Narcan her TWICE I made her promise to never touch them again. I threatened to tell her parents. I told her I would take her to rehab. She begged me not to. I know I should have but she swore to me she wouldn’t touch them again. I helped her through her withdrawals and over the last two years she’d been true to her word as far as I knew. I mean I was with her most of the time and never saw her use or act shady. But now I wasn’t there when she needed me and who knows what Matt said to her. 

Fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK! I couldn’t stop the tears from falling now. My whole body was shaking with anxiety.

Y/n’s POV

“Y/n! Y/N!” Danny yelled, kicking my foot. I jolted awake and struggled to see through blurred vision. I rubbed my eyes and slowly took in my surroundings as an overwhelming wave of nausea took over my body. 

“Ugh, what?” 

“Your phone’s been ringing non stop! Fucking answer it or turn it off. It’s annoying.”

I felt for my phone as previous events returned to my memory. Chris was arrested. I got in a fight with Matt. One thing led to the next and I somehow ended up at Danny’s house smacked out of my mind. I wasn’t proud of this. But remembering what Matt said to me, I felt like I was exactly where I needed to be. 

My phone started ringing again and I was able to find it between the cushions of Danny’s old, cigarette stained couch. The screen lit up with Matt’s name and I could feel the bile rising in my stomach. I ran to the bathroom and shut the door quickly behind me. I sat on the floor, heaving over the toilet, but not much came out. I can’t remember the last time I ate. I didn’t even know what day it was. I sat back and pulled out my phone. 13 missed calls from Matt and Nick combined. 5 from my mother along with three texts asking where I was. A missed call from an unknown number. To top it all off, it was 6:23 pm on Sunday. What the hell had happened in the last day and a half? 

I stood up and looked at myself in the mirror. My hair was a tangled mess, a stained crop top clung to my malnourished frame and a pair of baggy sweatpants (that didn’t belong to me) were tied tightly to my waist. I looked at the fresh track marks on my arm, a trail of dried blood leading halfway down my forearm. I was disappointed in myself. I promised Chris I would never go back to this. But it was too late now. I pulled my phone back out, ignoring all the messages from Matt and Nick and opening the text thread with my mom. I typed out a quick message. 

Hey mom, I’m fine. Haven’t been feeling great this weekend so I’ve been sleeping. Didn’t mean to worry you.

Not three seconds after I sent it, she was calling me. I sighed, really not in any head space to talk to her but I knew I was already on her last nerve so I took a deep breath and answered.

“Hello?” I definitely sounded sick.

“Y/n! Honey! Where are you?! Are you okay?!”

“I-I’m fine, mom. I’m at home. I’m just a little sick.”

“Nick and Matt said you weren’t at your house! They were just there!”

Fuck. Why the fuck had they come by?

“I just stepped out to get some medicine. I just got back.” I lied.

The lie seemed to calm her down a bit. “MaryLou told us what happened to Chris. We just wanted to make sure you were doing okay.” 

“Yeah, mom. I’m fine. Matt and Nick are going to bail him out tomorrow.” I felt nauseous again thinking about it. I didn’t know what to expect when Chris got out. I wasn’t great with confrontation and after the situation with Matt and relapsing with Danny, I didn’t really want to face Chris. “Uhm, mom, some friends asked me to go camping for a few days. So my service might be spotty.”

“I thought you were sick?”

“Yeah, I think it’s just like food poisoning or something. I should be better by tomorrow. But I’ll call you when I can, okay?”

“Y/n, are you sure you’re okay? If something is wrong you can tell us, we can come out there…”

“No, I’m fine mom. I promise. I’ll talk to you soon, okay? I love you!”

With that, I hung up on her and quickly exited the bathroom. “Danny, let’s go.”

“Go where?” He asked. 

“I-I don’t know. San Diego or something? I just need to get out of here before Chris gets out tomorrow?”

“Why? I thought you looooved him.” Danny mocked. “You’ve been mumbling about him non stop.” He sighed and sat back.

Danny liked you. That wasn’t a secret. He wasn’t bad looking. But he was a “bad boy”. His main job was drug dealing. He hung around with shady people, did shady shit, and hated on people like the Sturniolo’s for being in the public eye. Even though you were getting into your modeling career, Danny didn’t seem to care. You didn’t believe Danny’s feelings were deep. You didn’t believe Danny was capable of deep feelings or love. But you were hot and you had him wrapped around your finger.

“I-I can’t face Chris like this. I just want to get away from here. Please?” 

“My cousin has a condo down in Chula Vista. It’s right by the beach. I could call him.”

“Okay. I’m gonna run to my apartment and grab some things.”

I left Danny’s apartment, and ran up to mine. I grabbed a duffle bag from my closet and grabbed some clothes, a toothbrush, and some deodorant. The basic necessities. I was almost done packing when I heard a knock on my door. 

“Coming!” I said, assuming it was Danny. I threw my bag over my shoulder and made my way to the door. I swung it open, ready to go but stopped in my tracks when I saw Matt standing in front of me. 

“Going somewhere?” He asked.

It was hard to find my voice. My mind was a mess and my body was hurting. I needed a fix. “Uhm- Camping. With some friends.”

“Camping with friends. What friends?” Matt asked, stepping into my apartment now. 

“Just some friends. You don’t know them.” It was somewhat true. Nick and Matt didn’t know Danny. Hence why they couldn’t find me earlier. But lying to my mom about camping with friends was one thing. She didn’t know my social circle out here. Chris, Nick, and Matt on the other hand, pretty much were my social circle. We shared the same friends. If I really was to go camping with friends, chances are they’d be coming too. 

“Look, Y/n. I’m sorry for what I said yesterday…I was just upset and it was wrong of me to blame it on you.” I didn’t know how to respond so I just looked to the floor. “Chris is really going to want to see you tomorrow and-” He stopped, noticing my arms. He grabbed my wrist and yanked my arm into view. “Y/n, what the fuck happened to your arms?! Have you been shooting up?!”

“Ready to go, Princess? My cousin said-” Danny appeared in my doorway. “Well look what the cat dragged in.” Danny said with his skeezy smile. 

Matt looked him up and down before looking back at me. Danny had on tight jeans with chains and a sleeveless band shirt. He reeked of cigarette smoke and I knew Matt was judging me.

“This is who you’re going camping with?” Matt asked.

“Look, I gotta go…” I said pushing past Matt and locking my door. 

“So you’re just going to dip out on Chris?” Matt asks. “Come on Y/n. You’re better than this guy!”

“Excuse me?” Danny asks, turning to face Matt. I step in front of Danny, putting my hand on his chest. 

“Matt. You said it yourself. I’m no good for Chris…” 

“Y/n, I didn’t mean-”

“It’s fine. I gotta go. Take care of him, okay?” 

With that, I grabbed Danny’s hand and pulled him along with me down to his car to avoid any further conversation with Matt. I noticed his van with Nick inside sitting in the parking lot. He looked confused. I looked away and climbed into Danny’s car, urging him to drive away. 

Danny offered me a cigarette and I took it. Remaining quiet as I sparked it. He didn’t ask questions. But he did place his hand on my knee as he drove. “You don’t need them, Princess. I’ll take care of you.”

The words made my stomach twist into a knot. I wanted Chris. But Matt was right. I didn’t deserve him. I was exactly where I deserved to be. “You got any more dope?” 

“Gonna pick some up on our way, don’t worry.” He smiled at me. I attempted a half ass smile as I bit back the urge to cry. I looked down at my phone, studying the photo of me and Chris I had set as my wallpaper. It was a silly photo of us in highschool. We were both laughing, I was on Chris’s back as he ran down the hall with me. It was a time in my life I was truly happy. 

I shut my phone off and threw it in my bag, focusing on the world passing by through the window of Danny’s old BMW. I knew this wasn’t the right move but I was never good at confronting my problems and the promise of an escape and drugs was enough to leave LA and Chris behind me.

Chris’s POV

I sat silently while the judge went over my charges. Cameron Jacobs and his family sat and watched with smug looks on their faces. Matt and Nick sat on the opposite side of the courtroom, ready to bail me out. I was disappointed when they showed up without Y/n. 

The judge set my bond to $5,000 and gave me another court date. By noon, I was gathering my things and climbing into the van. Nick was hounding me with questions while Matt remained relatively quiet. 

“So where’s Y/n?” I asked, no longer wanting to think about the trouble I was in or the fact that I would have to call my parents when I got home and get my ass chewed out, or the fact that we were out five grand. “Why didn’t she come?” My voice cracked.

Nick looked at Matt, seeing if he would admit what happened. Matt remained silent. “Matt…”

“Where is she, Matt?” I asked. 

“Look Chris-”

“No tell me the fucking truth! It’s your fault she fucking left in the first place. Where is she?!”

Matt sighed. “I went to her place last night. She left with some sleaze bag. Said she was going camping…” 

“Dude with combat boots, covered in shitty tattoos, smelled like cigarettes?” I asked.

“Yeah.” 

“Danny.” I hissed. He was such a piece of shit. Always trying to get in Y/n’s pants. He was a slimy drug dealer and now she was God knows where with him. 

“She had, uhm…she had track marks on her arms…” Matt said. 

I tried to take a deep breath but I was beyond livid. “Pull over.” I said as calmly as I could. 

“What? Why?” Nick asked.

“Pull the fucking car over!” 

Matt did as I asked and I climbed out, slamming the door behind me before walking off down the street. 

“Chris! Where are you going?!” Matt asked as him and Nick chased after me. I really didn’t want to be near him right now.

“Fuck off, Matt!” 

“You have to fucking talk to me, man!” He said, grabbing my shoulder and forcing me to look at him. I pushed him off of me and Nick was quick to catch him before he fell. 

“This is your fucking fault!” I yelled. “Why the fuck would you say those things to her, Matt? She’s been our best friend our whole lives! This is your fucking fault!”

“I was just looking out for you! It’s not my fault she’s a drug addict, man!”

I threw myself at Matt, punching him in the eye. He fought back but it didn’t last long before Nick was separating us. 

“Stop it! What the hell is the matter with you guys?!” Nick yelled. “Chris, you just got out of jail for fucking assault. Beating up your own brother isn’t going to get you anywhere! And Matt, you were wrong for what you said to Y/n. But we aren’t going to find her if you end up back in jail and don’t work together. So both of you get in the fucking car and let’s go home and figure something out.”

As much as I hated Matt right now, Nick was right. All I really cared about was finding Y/n and I was going to need help doing that. I climbed back into the car silently and endured the ride home. I had tried texting and calling Y/n earlier but it went straight to voicemail. I typed out one more text. 

Y/n, please be okay. I’m so worried about you. Fuck whatever Matt said. You mean everything to me. Please just text me back when you get this so I know you’re okay. I love you…

Tags:@strniohoeee@daisysturniolo.@justangelheree@flowerxbunnie@recklesssturniolo@lustfulslxt@mangosrar@bluesturniolo333@christinarowie332@kenzieiskoolaid@sturniolopepsi@mattenthusiast@ilovecrazymen@sturnphilia@poopydroopt@miaakenn

[mixtape-racha]

it's a scream, baby! | hyunlix

chapter four: movie's dont create psychos

words: 1.54k // warnings: cursing, crying, hinted panic attack

OFFICIAL GHOSTFACE KILL COUNT: 003

once (y/n) had showered and got ready for the day, she checked her phone again to see another message from hyunjin. he had asked to meet him in town to grab lunch together - he had also added that he hoped it was an official date, but if she wasn't comfortable with that it would be okay.

a rush of adrenaline coursing through her veins, grinning as she replied, confirming its role as their first official date, and rushing to get ready to meet him. after all, it wasn’t every day your crush of four years finally asked you out. especially after the horror the town had endured the day before.

as she finished preparing herself, she heard a knock on the door. seungmin and minho still seemed to be dead to the world, so she took it upon herself to answer - surprised to see felix stood there, hand still raised to continue his incessant knocking.

“can i help you, lixie?” (y/n) smiled, ushering him into the house. “seung and minho are still home i think, but i’m about to head out, what’s up?”

her answer seemed to confuse felix, his brows quirking in a squiggle, and a small pout forming on his lips.

“where are you going? who are you meeting? you’re not staying out tonight, are you?”

(y/n) giggled at his bombardment of questions, gently shoving his shoulder. what on earth was his problem today? felix was never protective or cautious like this, often being the one to remind the others that she was, in fact, an adult when they got too overbearing. 

“i’m meeting hyun for a lunch date, lix. no, i’m not planning on staying out today. what’s going on with you?”

“(y/n),” he started, looking at the girl like a fragile doll vulnerable to breaking on the spot. “yeji’s okay, don’t panic. but nari and her girlfriend areum were killed in their dorm last night.”

and like that, (y/n)'s world seemed to crumble on the spot. her mind stopped, and suddenly tunnel-vision had taken control. she needed to get to her friend now.

“oh, god. oh, fuck. no, yeji–”

was the last thing felix heard before she sprinted out the front door, frantically scrambling on her phone to call her closest friend.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

“yeji, babe, oh god-!” (y/n) cried out, throwing her arms around the girl where she sat on the grass outside her dorm building. her face was swollen and streaked with tears, entire body trembling and a green sheen over her face. she looked like shit. probably felt like it, too.

“i found them, (y/n). they were just in the living room. when i saw the front door was open, i– i was so scared…” she whimpered, tears freely throwing again into (y/n)'s hoodie as she sobbed against her body. “i shouldn’t have gone out last night, if i was home i could’ve saved them. i shouldn’t have gone.”

shaking her head frantically, (y/n) pulled yeji away from her shoulder and cupped her cheeks.

“no. no fucking way, hwang yeji, you are not blaming yourself for this. don’t you dare. in fact, i’ve never been so grateful you weren’t home last night, because if i lost you i don’t know what i’d do. don’t you ever blame yourself for this.”

the two of them sat there in their spot in the grass for what could have been hours, and it probably was in all reality. (y/n) simply held her friend in her arms, stroking her hair softly as her sobs slowly turned into dry sniffles.

yousheheld her closer still, having to turn her head away too as the coroner’s came out of the building entrance with two evidently full body bags. it was almost like the world stood still, people simply watching as both girls’ parents clutched onto each other - areum’s mothers cries resounding across the entire campus.

but still, (y/n) stayed in yeji’s bubble - she needed her more than anyone else could in this moment. once the area had cleared a bit of the people watching in shock, she gathered yeji up and allowed her to lean on her body as a crutch.

she wrapped her jacket around yeji's shoulders, and rubbed her arms as she slowly lead her away from the building and towards her own. she could stay with (y/n) as long as she needed - knowing minho and jeongin wouldn’t mind at all. 

(y/n) were also positively sure that the others would volunteer to go back to her dorm and collect her things for her as soon as the police allowed entry. she needed a big support system right now, and (y/n) couldn’t think of anyone more supportive than her boys, her big, crazy chosen family.

it was only once she had ushered yeji into the dorm, locking and double-locking the door behind you that you realised you had failed to inform hyunjin of why she couldn’t make it to your plans a few hours earlier. 

luckily, it seemed felix had gathered everyone into the dorm due to the way she had run off, given the seven shocked expressions around her as she followed yeji to the floor as she collapsed, sobbing again.

lifting her head from yeji’s broken form, she shook her head at her friends, praying they’d get the hint and not stick around to bombard the girls with questions. she gave a silent exhale of relief as minho ushered everyone except chan and jisung out of the room quicker than she’d ever seen before.

peeling your neck and torso away from yeji’s body, you allowed her to sink further into your lap - her cries quickly turning into hiccups and sniffles again, but the trembling of her body showing no sign of stopping any time soon.

“chan, a favour?” (y/n) started, with him nodding his head quickly in response, ready to do anything to help. “get a cup of cold water - use a plastic cup in case the shaking gets worse. also grab my weighted blanket from my room, a clean set of clothes and some towels so she can shower. the wash kit she keeps here is in the box under my desk.”

she watched as he made a mental note of all the requests and darted off towards the other end of the apartment. (y/n) stroked yeji’s hair back out of her face, speaking in a hushed voice so as to not startle her.

“babe, we’re gonna get up now, okay? i’m gonna sit you on the sofa so you can have a drink, and then i’m going to take you to shower, yeah?”

unable to get the words out to reply, she simply nodded, breath coming out in shudders as chan returned with a water bottle full and with a couple of cubes of ice. jisung quickly darted forward, almost coming out of a daze, to help (y/n) lift yeji from the hard flooring and steer her stumbling feet towards the couch just to the left of them.

(y/n) held onto the bottle for yeji as she took a few deep sips, the redness slowly dying from her cheeks. but once her breathing was kind of stabilised, she did something (y/n) weren’t expecting. honestly, it seemed no one was expecting it - but she flung her arms around jisung, mumbling against his hoodie as she inhaled his scent, breathing becoming much calmer.

once she’d successfully drank half of the bottle, (y/n) again helped her stand, and seeing her newfound comfort in (y/n)'s best friend, instructed jisung to keep an eye on her while she showered. he quickly agreed, offering to stay with her while she had something to eat and napped on the sofa so (y/n) could shower herself.

“honestly, (y/n), you look a mess. i mean that with all love and respect but - you look exhausted. i’ve got yeji, go look after yourself for an hour, okay? shower, have a nap, talk to hyunjin. whatever you need.”

she nodded, tears finally building up behind her eyes as the events of the day caught up with her. she embraced jisung in a tight hug, him planting a soft kiss on your forehead before he lead yeji to the communal bathroom with the things (y/n) had instructed chan to collect for her.

shrugging off her hoodie, (y/n) headed towards the kitchen, not recognising her own broken and hoarse voice as she called out hyunjin’s name. he came bolting towards her, cupping her face in his hands to judge how she was feeling, before pulling her into a long hug.

“god, i’m so glad you’re okay. what do you need, angel, i’ll do anything?” he rushed out, his heart hammering in his chest as she wrapped your arms around his torso.

“just need some company, honestly. would… would you wanna come and cuddle with me while i get a power nap?”

“of course. i mean it, anything you need and i’ll do it.”

she chuckled tiredly as she pulled away from the hug and started pulling the other boy towards her room.

“if you could stop whichever fucking psychopath is going around killing people, that would be great.”

oh, if only (y/n) wasn't facing the opposite way to hyunjin. maybe then she would’ve caught the way his jaw hardened and his brows furrowed.

if only.

taglist: join taglist here @pretty-racha @chubbyanarkiss @queen-klarissa @queenfelix @taeriffic @mits-vi @myeg1993 @lemontead @peachessandhoney @chanssmiles @changbinisabigboy @5kayzee @skz-streamer @bunniieesstuff @iweirdthingsblog @sinforsuccubus @bunniie0325 @torixx80 @fawnpeaks

[tender-rosiey]

drunken acts — gojo satoru x gn!reader

a/n: watched a turkish series and one of the scenes inspired me to do this also angst ahead 🤩

you are sitting on the sofa while you tap your feet lightly, waiting for gojo’s return. yesterday, the two of you, for the first time, made love after months of pinning. it was amazing, but you feared that he might not remember it.

after all, he was pretty drunk, but when you think about it, both of you had some consciousness in you to realize what’s happening and went with the flow even after knowing what will happen.

the door clicks open, and you turn your head and lock eyes with gojo has been out since the morning. “where have you been?” you ask cautiously.

he takes off his coat and hangs it, “nowhere.”

it was near midnight now.

you furrow your eyebrows, “really?”

“yes, now stop pestering me about it.”

the glass of wine in your hand shatters into pieces from your grip which makes gojo grumble, “oh for heaven’s sake, kiyoichi can you clean this up!”

“yes, master gojo,” the maid, kiyoichi, says before going to get the broom.

gojo walks towards you, “what the hell is wrong with you today?”

“do you not remember?” you inquire softly and he raises an eyebrow so you elaborate, “what happened yesterday.”

the confusion is written all over his face, but he scrambles his memory for anything, any piece. soon, he remembers fragments from what happened and everything connects.

he breaks eye contact and looks away, “…yesterday shouldn’t have happened,” he says slowly.

your eyes widen and you stand up, “what do you mean?”

he takes a deep breath, “listen, y/n, I am not ready for a committed relationship yet or love in general.”

“so what you did was purely a ‘man’s desire’?” you press on, “were you leading me on all this time?!”

“I wasn’t leading anyone on; you knew what you were getting yourself into!” he yells, “about all of the shitty emotional baggage and problems I have!”

you clench your fist, “having a shitty life doesn’t excuse your mistakes; it only explains how you became a miserable person, you jerk!”

he laughs, irritated, “are you going to give me a lecture now?” he snarls, “aren’t you some wise person.”

“gojo, just say you lied when you said you felt something for me,” you sigh, composure crumbling as tears threaten to pour out of your eyes, “I am not willing to play this game of push and pull with you.”

all while gojo still keeps his bitter smile on before lashing out on you, “YES I LIED! IF YOU WANT ME TO BE IN LOVE WITH YOU THEN I HAVE TO DRINK EVERY WAKING MOMENT! THERE, ARE YOU HAPPY?!”

his chest is heaving and soon his anger slowly dies out and his prideful six eyes finally see what’s happening in front of him.

there are tears streaming down your face, tears of pain and hurt, not pleasure nor happiness.

you harshly rub your eyes, picking up your bag then walking out of his house, and the sound of the door slamming shut and the soft ‘good riddance’ are what tell gojo you’ve left.

he sits down on the sofa, where you were, and runs a hand through his hair, “I need a drink,” he sighs.

the maid finally comes out of her hiding place, so she wouldn’t involve herself with the quarrel, to clean up the mess.

gojo stares at the broken pieces, being picked up by the maid. he uses his cursed energy to pick the broken glass and throw it in the trash, “you can go home for tonight.”

she looks up at him before nodding gratefully and scurrying to get her belongings.

he opens his phone to one of your photos together, and regret start swarming his entire being.

an aching heart always accompanied him, and this time, gojo has no one to blame but himself for indulging and harshly pushing away.

taglist: @magenta-cat-drawingss @pompompurin1028 @scul-pted @dazaisdeathwish @requiem626k @nameless-shrimp @shinys-bsd-world-1 @sonder-paradise @ravenina14 @jessbeinme15s-notebook @todorokichills @missrown @shrynkk @simplyxsinned @beautiful-is-boring @bakugossanity @izukus-gf @irethepotato @thekaylahub @luciferspen @aeanya @sweetcloudsimp @moon-catto @fiona782 @ginneko @kisakitwister @iamjustasimpxd @psychopotatomeme @dreamcastgirl99

copyright © tender-rosiey

do not copy or plagiarize or you will be reported

[intairnwetrust]

Round two in defence of Violet Sorrengail because apperently she is the bad guy in Xaden's and her relationship problems.

I can't believe there are people hating on Violet. Are people serious right now? You all better fucking stop calling my girl Violet whiny.

I would like to see your reaction when you find out that your whole life, everything you believed in, was a lie. Then on top of that, you didn't even have time to process the whole thing properly.

After the revelation, Violet went straight into battle, in which she almost died! Then she finds out that her brother is still alive and then overall her being involved in the whole revolution. Violet didn't even got a break to process the whole thing properly and on top on that, in the first half of the time she didn't even have anyone to turn to. Her two dragons betrayed her and so did the man she loved and who wants to discuss relationship problem with a brother who played dead for 6 years?

Violet only really talked once about her relationship problems and that was with Imogen. She didn't even talk to her friends about it later. There were just a few sentences. She didn't cry about her problems to anyone accessible. Whenever we learned about her relationship problems it was in her inner monologue. It is completly normal, it is realistic, for someone in Violet's situation to thing about her whole relationship. If she wouldn't think about her communication issues with Xaden then it would means she wouldn't care.

Besides, it doesn't hinder the plot at all. We are shown their problems at the beginning and when she is with Xaden. I know shocking that we have come across problems that this couple is having when that couple comes into the picture.

I absolutly don't understand how people can blame Violet more than Xaden for their whole communication issue. I absolutly love Xaden but what he did here was bullshit.

I completly agree that all this running in circles between the two of them was annoying as hell and you really only saw improvements almost at the end but Xaden is much more to blame for the two of them not making progress than Violet. This whole 'ask me a question' thing is so stupid.

Xaden is the one who broke Violet trust but for him waiting for a question from Violet basically means he expects from Violet to make the first step when he actually should do it! He broke her trust not the other way around. He makes it so easy for himself when he himself said he don't mind hard work to get what he wants. Yes, then act like that.

Sorry but no this boy had the audacity to look disappointed when Violet didn't ask her question. Sirrrr you could habe simply start the conversation!

In the end, their whole problem was reflected on again by Violet and yes Violet even blamed herself partially, she was scared to ask because she feared the truth to some of her question but Xaden should have been much more accommodating all the way there. Violet's world was turned upside down, not his. Xaden shouldn't have waited for Violet to ask a question, but simply should have started the conversation.

I mean look at character 58, after the two of them running in circles the whole time, this chapter was a total satisfaction.

"I understand that there will be times you can’t tell me everything—that’s the nature of what we do as riders—but I need you to stop setting me up for failure by insisting I figure out what there is to ask."

And then Xaden's reply "Done." It could have been so simple. Because this is exactly what Xaden did with his whole question game. He, even when it was unknowingly, set Violet up for failure by insisting she figures out what there is to ask.

When you really want to be annoyed with someone because of these constant, repetitive and therefore annoying problems that the two of them had in their communication then please look at Xaden first.

[hubrisbracket]

Hubris Bracket Side A Poll 12: Five Pebbles (Rain World) vs Laerryn Coramar-Seelie (Critical Role: Exandria Unlimited Calamity)

Propaganda below (contains spoilers)

Five Pebbles

in his pride and arrogance he thought he could solve the great problem, he got interrupted during one of his experiments because in the process he was killing one of his neighboring robots (he is a robot btw) and she was asking him to stop, now he blames her because the creature he was making mutated and essentially led to him developing 'the rot' which slowly eats away at his superstructure until it eventually kills him.

hes like a pathetic wet cat to me. guy who tries desperately to break out of his doomed narrative only to doom himself further and drag those he loves down with him. he didn't want this he didn't want any of this but in his rage and arrogance he was blind to the consequences of his actions. and now he stands slowly rotting away while his sister suffers because of his mistakes. he is sooo full of regret and anger and shame i love him

(this one is very long so we have opted to keep its original formatting for reading's sake)

GOD where do i even start with five pebbles…the hubris contained within this bitch…the angst…the regret… for a basic rundown of general rain world stuff, everything in the world is trapped in a looping cycle of life and death. eventually people adjacent things were like "dam this sucks i wanna. kil myslef" and then they dug really deep into the earth and found void fluid which kills you so hard you don't come back. however if youre a bitch or too attached to the earth u turn into a terrifying ghost thing. so the people were like "fuck that lets find a different way to kill ourselves" so they built big supercomputers called iterators then they all killed rhemselves anyways with the kil juice.so you have these godlike teenagers basically locked in bigass boxes just. everywhere every fucking where theres so many.

five pebbles is one of these iterators, and whats special about him is mainly the place and reasons he was built. iterators need a shit fuck ton of water to function (and they exhale a shit fuck ton of water vapor "turning…world, into rain world." -daszombes) so generally iterators aren't placed too close. another iterator named looks to the moon was built very early on, and eventually she couldn't make enough stuff for her people who live on top of her (forgot to mention that) so they fucking. built another iterator RIGHT next to her. pebbles and moon are like siblings, right. hes kind of an angsty guy but i mean his creators literally all killed themselves and left him solving their problem so its ok hes allowed to be. hes like "damn i hate veing trapped in this cycle and shit it sucks" and then there was a very big event that i DO NOT have the time to get into but essentially one of the iterators was like "hey guys i solved the problem" and then she fucking died which is very hard for an iterator to do so everyone had an understandable freakout.

five pebbles was of the opinion that killing herself was the solution so hes like "i have to make them see that killing yourself IS the solution" (killing yourself and/or genetic mpdification are very very taboo topics among iterators) so he goes to one of his close friends and has a real heart to heart about how much he struggles with knowing that his creators CHOSE to leave them all behind and that the iterators are all still here solving their problem even tho they're dead. this friend, in a moment of weakness sends pebbles instructions on how to circumvent the self-destruct taboo (a taboo is like a law coded into every single cell of an iterator) and five pebbles, desperate to prove to himself and others that he isnt just another useless thing that can be abandoned, so he looks at the proper, safe way of doing the procedure and goes "FUCK THAT NOIIIISE" bye running so many parallel processes he consumes five times the amount of water he usually intakes, as well as shutting off all communications. moon, having been dehydrated to the point where he structure is in an awful, awful state, eventually uses a last resort in the form of forced communications, essentially the buggest loudest discord ping of your life. her messages are pleas for pebbles to stop, that he is hurting her, that she WILL die if he continues.

on pebble's end, as he tries to concentrate on his absurd amounts of processes, moon messages crash through his communications network, COMPLETELY shattering his focus. due to the nature of this method, involving genetic modification, what is essentially cancer is allowed to burst free, uncontrolled, from his experiments. they call it the rot. pebbles, having killed his sister and cut off everyone else, desperately tries to cure the illness ravaging his structure, an effort that proves futile.

Laerryn Coramar-Seelie

Laerryn devoted her entire life to making the city of Avalir capable of teleporting to the Upper Planes so that the entire city of mortals would be walking as equals amongst the GODS.

laerryn my beloved. the OG hubris wizard, dead before the story even started & it was her own fault. she used all her city's magic supply to be able to TELEPORT the ENTIRE CITY to a DIFFERENT PLANE because she COULD. because she wanted to prove that SHE COULD. because she thought the gods weren't all that special and wanted mortals to be equal to the GODS THEMSELVES. COME ON. she could have easily made it safe but she was so determined to accomplish this in time that she used way too much magic and put the whole city in danger. she wasn't thinking about safety, she was thinking about what she could accomplish. she also got one of her best friends, who was a husband and a father to a young child, KILLED, due to experimenting on said aforementioned 'attempting to teleport the entire city to a different plane' thing (complete disregard of safety once again). to list her lesser hubris crimes, she neglected her marriage and got divorced bc she was so focused on her work and herself even though she loved her husband dearly and convinced herself she was doing all of this for him, even though this is never something he wanted. also she cast blight on a super important tree that could have saved the world, and destroyed it. and yeah it was because she wanted to protect her friends/out of love/grief BUT she basically set in motion the rest of the events of exu calamity (aka, oh yknow, the DESTRUCTION OF MOST OF THE WORLD) by doing that. by thinking she COULD save her friends by destroying the tree. basically, she thought she knew better when she very much didn't. i'm not saying she caused it (the betrayer gods caused it obvs), but she for sure had a large part to play in the destruction of her own city (and also in saving it, but still). basically i love her. HUBRIS QUEEN.

[the-empress-7]

I have been putting together some of the puzzle pieces and have some theories so might dive into those today. ~~ SO READY! Shoot!

So let's begin withe US Media Anon I received early yesterday:

Later in the day we received the first official article in The Times. Here are two relevant tidbits:

Now the tea. Remember how confused I was about the negotiations? For the life of me I couldn't figure out the need for a negotiation. More on that later.

Then some weird details started to emerge. Remember when we first heard about a walkabout, it was only supposed to be The Prince and Princess of Wales. When the walkabout started BBC had a graphic ready and it was this. Notice who is missing:

And then this. Like the BBC, Rebecca would have been quickly briefed about what was about to take place.

Then some final weirdness:

Last but not the least, the article from Kate Mansey.

Sorry for all the puzzle pieces, let me finally get to the point. Notice how so much of what I posted was about William and Harry re-uniting? Notice that the BBC only mentioned Harry accompanying William and Catherine. Charles wanted William and Harry to reunite, not William/Catherine and Harry/Meghan.

Which brings me to the 45 minute negotiation. It is my theory that William extended the invitation to Harry, but Meghan showed up with him. Which set off the negotiation. Further more I believe that William agreed to Meghan accompanying them as long they only viewed the tributes/flowers and promptly returned back to their cars. The walk-about was always intended for only for The Prince and Princess of Wales. Meghan being Meghan, went rogue. As soon as she could she was out doing the walkabout. The withering look that Catherine shot her at the end makes all the sense in the world to me now. It explains why the aides kept trying to pull her away.

I think what added to all the confusion was M's Plan A. I do think she had alerted CNN and had her cameras on standby, which made the negotiations even more difficult. She probably was threatening to go out by herself if the new Prince of Wales didn't allow her the false equivalence moment with Catherine. It explains why the CNNi reporter had his talking points for H&M ready and only referred to W&C as the "other royals".

In the end I think William ended up doing his best to put out a building fire. In order to stop H&M from going out there on their own, a compromise was reached. The problem is that Meghan did not hold up her end of the deal. Which I why I kept saying yesterday that you do not negotiate with terrorists! I hope to God that William learns from this. I know now that he is not to blame, but I'd like to see him put his foot down even more from now on.

I am starting to ramble. I am curious to hear what others think of this.

[paragonrobits]

Shut Out

(It was something Marceline yelled at herself a lot about, later. Something she'd remember for a long, long time, even after Finn passed on and didn't come back, when the world moved on and forgot him, and after Simon was gone, and after there was so little holding them together that she was gone from Bonnie's life, for a while, and it was this:

When Finn spiraled, he spiraled inward. From the outside, it looked fine. But from the outside, you didn't hear anything about it just like the time he almost ate the food of the Fruit Witches on purpose, or the tower he built into space and almost didn't come back, or all the other times he very quietly and serenely did... something extreme.

It would be nice, she thought, to say she never felt like she screwed it up and wasn't there for him when he needed it, like he always was for her. It would be nice to say so. It just wouldn't be true, inside her heart.)

-----

From the outside, people said later, Finn didn't abruptly stop talking to everyone. He just slowly started slipping away.

A gradual process. He talked less and less to people. He didn't ask around for interesting puzzles or dungeons to delve, or asked around for monsters to fight, he just went and did it.

Marceline and Bonnie both heard less and less from him. He was an increasingly rare presence, he wasn't on the phone as much, he didn't show up at the places he used to hang out with them, movie night didn't happen...

(Marceline didn't know the particulars then. She just knew something was wrong, but she dismissed it.)

Finn spent a long time, thinking about it, when the coughing fits started to get worse. Jake was gone, by then. It didn't feel the same anymore. He started thinking a lot about cessation, and inevitability.

(Marceline found out later.)

He thought: "Will Bonnie and Marceline be sad when I'm gone? Will they care?"

There's a follow-up thought. It's sharp and bitter and the sort of thing you think after too long spiraling inward, too much time spent blaming yourself, and too much time spent smiling around them while thinking a lot about how ugly you are compared to them; how unwholesome, how brutish and rough and just out of place.

You start thinking maybe they're just humoring you. The goofy kid that solved all their problems and was probably more invested in... whatever this relationship was, then they ever wore. You start thinking a lot about how horrible the word 'humoring' starts to look.

(Marceline spent a good, long while upset about it.)

You think: No.

You think: Why would they?

Sometimes you think loud and angry about it, in bitter and painful thoughts that you'll never say to them so it comes out twisted and bloody. Its stuff that's had years to percolate and bubble up, that you never said to them and just kept privately wondering why they bothered with something that didn't belong anywhere anymore.

(Later, Marceline wonders if it would have been enough to just SAY how important he was; how important he had always been. That just about everything good in her life was because she'd met him all those years ago, and decided to hang out with him. Simon coming back into her life, her and Bonnie talking again, her finding peace with her mother's memory thanks to BMO... all of it was, in some way, because of him.

It didn't make her feel better, though.)

And sometimes it just leaves you in a tired whisper, and when the coughing starts, and you see the blood on your hands, and you know what the cost of having fought the Lich is, and you decide: maybe its easier this way.

He lies to himself and says they'll forget him fast, if they even care that much.

He knew better, deep down. But it was harder to see that.

-----

And its later, honestly not that much later but feeling too long to her, when she comes floating down to the places where someone matching his description has been hanging out, and her hand bangs against the door, so hard the windows shake. She could just break her way in, but somehow she's scared to just do that, like it will break some kind of spell and make everything come falling apart.

She just bangs her fist on the door, almost hard enough to smash it right off the hinges.

"Come on! I know you're in there!"

Bang-bang-bang.

She's not exactly yelling yet, but her voice is taking that slightly hoarse quality that feels worse; like seeing the cracks in glass before it actually explodes all over your face, or feeling the fractures in your bones from too much stress for too long about to make your whole body cave in from that final tiny bit of Too Much-ness.

"Finn! Please! It's me! You know its me!"

Bang, bang-bang. It's almost thundering now.

"Open the glob-damned door and TALK to me already!"

It's almost a scream.

And now, the next time she speaks, its after a soft noise. It might be something like crying. It might also be the noise a door makes when someone places their head against it, past the point where desperation is winning so hard there's nothing to do but feel the cold hopelessness slide its way through you.

Marceline Abadeer has been through a lot. She has seen centuries come and go; she saw the last great civilization disappear overnight, and she's seen too many kingdoms grow and wither away so fast that it was hardly worth acknowledging them at all.

And she's seen friends come and go; ashes on the wind.

'This is your fault' is in the back of her mind, no matter how much she knows that's not really fair to herself.

Somehow, this feels so much worse.

When she talks next, her voice is ragged, and her hands shake. She has slain tyrants and monsters, she has survived the impossible without blinking, and she has been the fixed presence around which the world turns onward. And now she feels like a child again, alone and lost and hurting.

Again and again, she thinks of people that she thought could have been her family, only for her to drive them away somehow, on purpose or not. Everything stays.

"Dude. Don't shut me out. Don't do this." And then, she almost can't say anything at all, a horrible miserable croak making the word come out small. "Please."

There's no response.

Again, she gently puts her head against the doorway.

An unfamiliar voice from behind her says, "You know the weird human thing?"

Marceline turns; too quickly to make it casual. Hope and fear and a bit of outrage at whoever THIS was intruding on the moment all cling together. She stifles it all down, puts on a serious face.

She wonders who this person is; it looks like a small stone, with tiny arms and legs. It's not anyone familiar, but she's too scared to think straight and just says, "Yeah? Who're you?"

The stone person shrugs. "I'm just a rock. Came to life about seven years back during some thing with wizard and meteors. Think I saw the blonde guy then. You know him?"

She doesn't bother thinking about the time frame of if she knew anything Finn had been doing at the time; not important. "Yes. Where is he?"

The stone person blinks. It's a surprisingly emotive response. There's sadness and helplessness and even a small bit of 'good now someone ELSE can deal with it' that makes her want to bite. The stone person says, "It's a long story," they say. "I'll show you out back."

-----

Marceline had seen the grave when she'd flown in. She hadn't paid much attention to it, with other things on her mind, and perhaps she didn't want to think about it. She can't think about it now. As soon as she saw it, and the stone person leading her towards it, everything shut down.

Everything went gray. A cold and numbing incomprehension oozed in, and she moved like she was on automatic.

"You see that kind of sickness now and then," the stone person says. "The walking death, some people call it. You get it worse when you get near the places the, uh. the Lich King used to have," and they trail off. The Lich has been gone for a long time, and still people don't like talking about it, or the places it's been.

Marceline is not thinking about it right now. She is not thinking about anything. There's just awful dread all around.

The stone person continues. "I don't really know who he was. He just showed up here a few months back, before I came here, and I guess he was a roommate or something." Marceline silently does the math and works it out; after Finn had talked less and less to them, like he was... ashamed of something. And some part of her keeps looking at the times they did talk; she's asking herself 'Was there something I could have done?'

She doesn't know.

"You cough," the stone person says. "You get weaker and weaker, like... the sickness eats something in you. And you start-"

"Coughing blood," Marceline says tiredly. She remembers a phone conversation with Finn, before he had completely dropped off the map. She remembers the coughing.

'Could I have gotten him, if I'd tried?'

She doesn't know.

The stone person glances at her. Marceline remembers her mother, and thinks about Finn. The same sickness. Somehow, she's not surprised. Her life is a closed circle, and the people she drives away without meaning to go out of her life the same way. "Yeah," the stone person says.

They start talking more, and Marceline isn't really listening. She's reacting, yes; she is speaking and responding to the lines she feels she is supposed to, but inside, she isn't thinking anything at all.

Some part of her, the greater Marceline, is peering out and going through all the times she was around Finn before he went off the map, and studying it for signs. For moments she should have noticed, that she WOULD have noticed if she'd cared, or if she was worth a damn, or if she even really DID care about him as much as she thought and, and it is too much.

She wants to scream. She wants to dissolve her body in a stew of nightmares, she wants to rip off her skin and run to the farthest places of the world with her monstrosity exposed for all to see, and she just keeps thinking monster recited over and over, a magic spell announcing what she's done to the whole world.

Huntress Wizard didn't notice it; Bubblegum didn't, not Flame King or any of the other people who could have, and somehow Marceline feels that her not seeing it makes it worse.

Her fingers slip. The umbrella falls down.

She barely notices. The sight of the unmarked grave, forgotten by the world, hurts a lot worse than the sun.

------

She talks to the others about it. That makes it better, in some small way; the world doesn't notice or care, but she can carry the news to everyone and see if that makes a difference. It does. There are tears, and there is mostly a stunned disbelief.

Somehow, Huntress Wizard hurts a lot more than some of the others. Flame King is calm, and you would have to notice the flames around the court of the flame people erupting to see what she was really thinking; she's not sure Lumpy Space Princess entirely gets what's happened, since she just keeps insisting Finn was in hiding somewhere, pulling some kind of a plot. "You'll see, he'll be back any day with some grody thing on his belt." Marceline doesn't say anything, just leaves. But Huntress Wizard's face remains calm, and composed; its a mask, Marceline knows.

She sees a flicker of expression, and when Huntress Wizard gravely thanks her, it says much that Huntress Wizard, normally so composed and so completely in control of herself, has to sit down.

Simon looks lost. He politely says 'No,' as if he can just deny it. There is a lot more to it. She doesn't really remember much. She remembers a feeling like a dam inside herself started breaking more and more as they spoke, and then it all came smashing apart, and there's just words, and hurt, and it was her fault and she did this and-

And he is just there, he sits there, and only around him does she let it all out. Later, she remembers the terrified incomprehension on his face, the denial, and it reminds her so much of when he had started losing himself to the crown that it hurts in too many ways to fit inside her heart right now.

-------

Bubblegum is technically the first she tells.

She first tells her, before anyone else, over the phone. And she is struck by how Bubblegum takes a long, long time to reply, and it is a very quiet "Thank you for letting me know," and the call cutting off which such violence that it punches through the gray misery. She finds out later that they had to fix the official Candy Kingdom phone, and works out clues from there.

Bubblegum cares. She was the first one of them to meet Finn, to care about him, to tie him to the world. She was always first for him, one way or another, and some part of Marceline thinks that Bonnie should have been the one to bury him. Whether its true or not, she has an image of him as a young boy being carried into the threshold of Ooo by her; as a young man, it should have been her leading his body out of Ooo.

And Bubblegum calls her down, and Marceline knows something with her is... wrong.

Her eyes are twitching. Her glasses are askew. Her hair, usually a shiny mass of bright pink, is dulled and somehow twitching here and there; she doesn't look right, with filth and grease and the faintly acrid smell of substances unknown to human scientific knowledge. She twitches a little more whenever she moves, and when she directly looks at Marceline, there is a terrible feeling in her.

Marceline knows desperation, and grief, and something that might be called madness. Bubblegum's eyes suggest things Marceline doesn't want to think about, desperate and clinging to a horrible possibility.

"We don't have much time," Bubblegum says. "We need to do this now, before any more decay sets in."

Marceline knows what she means, somehow. Shock cuts through the apathy she falls into with grief, and she says, "Do what?"

Bubblegum tells her. And she indicates a shovel.

"Hurry up, if you want to help," she says.

-----

The following night, they go to the place Finn had been crashing at, and where he had wasted away, letting himself be forgotten. Simon is there with them, and from the glances he shares with Bubblegum, Marceline wonders: did they talk about this in private? Where they planning something?

Did they start this as soon as Bubblegum heard?

The three of them have shovels. The three of them have a willingness to do what must be done.

She doesn't think it'll work. But she has to hope.

They leave that night. The work goes quickly with three of them, and Marceline all but rips the ground apart for all of them.

They leave an emptied grave.

-------

Afterwards, they don't talk much about what they did. Either the grave robbing, or what happens later.

There are bargains to be made. There are acts of genius too horrible and frightening to consider, and yet it's so easy for Simon and Bubblegum, and Marceline has to wonder how long they were planning for something like this.

"I've done something like this before," Bubblegum says as the procedure happens, taking its time to... do its work. Simon is there, watching it happen with a morbid solemnity that is somehow worse than anything else. Some part of her sees a shadow of the Ice King in it; not the madness or forgetting himself, but the willingness to do something she'd rather not admit he could do. "It's different with candy people. The mind plays a process; it's really like just waking them up?"

"And a human mind?" Marceline says. She hasn't spoken much. She remembers moving around in a daze, as though she were the dead one instead.

Bubblegum is quiet. The only noise is her machines working, of strange fluids sluicing through pipes, chemicals being electrified, and a portal to somewhere else opening up.

"I don't know," Bubblegum says, carefully, like someone trying not to scream.

"The soul has to want to come back," Simon says. His voice is quiet and tired.

All three of them are quiet for a long time.

They stare at the revivification machine. Lights flash, fluid gushes into a central chamber large enough to hold a single human form (a very large one, admittedly), and arcane energies Marceline doesn't want to understand reach out to some other world.

Atop of this, like a lightning rod, is a capsule containing a badly woven, threadbare pink sweater.

Marceline wishes she had something more tangible to give Finn a road home besides feelings and wishes and the desperate longing to tell him how much he means to her.

-------

None of them really talk that much about what happens at the end.

"I had to fight to bring it the rest of the way," Marceline says, when she is asked. She does not tell who she fought, or where, or why it had to be done. Her eyes are distant and tired, and its too exhausting to explain the how's.

Simon had arcane knowledge. Bubblegum had scientific understanding, and the two of them built something impossible, beyond the scope of her original de-corpsinator serum. Marceline had something else: authority.

Whatever price there was to pay, or that she made some thing out in the world do, she would pay it without hesitation.

And in the depths of the aether, at the very boundary of life and death, so close to a point of no return she couldn't dare have hope it would work out-

Doing the one thing she had to offer, to fix this, to save him-

(Marceline reaches across, holding up love and memory and all the things she wanted to say shining like a spotlight into the Dead Worlds.

There is a long moment of silence; too long, and too late.

And then.

And then a single hand, shaped by memory and stubborn self-image into a human arm, clasps her hand as she pulls him back in.)

And so Finn the human took his second breath.

-------

There was a lot, after that. Too much for her to remember as much more than a distant blur.

Lumpy Space Princess bragged about to everyone; that she had seen it coming, that she knew it was all a big scheme by Finn to fool some bad guy or another and boom he'd GOT THEM. Probably.

There were words, between her and Finn and Bubblegum, and some just between him and Simon, and a lot between himself and Bubblegum.

She doesn't know exactly what, between them all. There is something intimate and close and raw between himself and Bonnibel Bubblegum. It's friendship, yes. It's love, too, but its hard to say if it is romantic or not, or if putting a term to it would cheapen something that's too hard for either of them to spell out. But it feels private, and Marceline does not intrude.

She is there, all the same, when he meets again with Flame King, and the other people close to his heart in one way or another. There is relief, and there's anger, too. Sometimes people get enraged when the finality of death winds up not being a factor; lashing out is a part of that. But they still have time to make amends afterwards, once the anger is gone.

Marceline is not there for the things Huntress Wizard says to him. She leads him to Huntress Wizard, and departs, but she remembers the look Huntress Wizard gives her; grateful, not quite believing this was happening.

It said 'Whatever you did; what cost you paid. Thank you."

(Afterwards, she is not so shy with her feelings, or so unwilling to be honest about them. It is sad, that it can take a lot to say so, but such is the nature of love.)

And then, there is what happens between Marceline and Finn.

She and him, yes.

(She hugs him, afterwards. "I'm sorry," she says, over and over. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

She isn't sure what for, exactly. Just a generalized wave of sorrow and grief and relief, all mashed together and spilling out. She remembers crying.

She remembers the look on his face. She remembers the sound of him crying, too, and for a moment she felt as if they were a pair of children, alone on the world, scared and hurt and alone and making their own ways to live.

Everything stays. Perhaps it's not so bad, every time.

"I'm sorry," he tells her, and he has many words for what exactly; for not saying anything, for thinking they didn't care, for letting himself get beat down by the Lich's curse, for all the things he wanted to say but didn't or couldn't because he didn't have the words for it.

It shouldn't be real, she tells herself. Monsters like her do not get a do-over.

He hugs her, and it is real. He is there, alive again, his arm still gone despite the regenerative process, and that somehow feels like it makes it all feel more real. One arm solidly built and warm, the other smaller and colder metal.)

------

And so, time moves on, and they can almost forget that this happened.

Finn died. And now he wasn't. It was easier to pretend he never had.

But they remembered. And the inevitability of the future weighed down on them.

They spoke often, after that. Finn about his feelings; about feeling that he was... too awkward to be around them. That they were just better than him, that for so long ever since he'd been a kid he'd felt like they were humoring him, or when he was really upset and thought he was just a joke to them, or a tool that wasn't fun anymore.

Bubblegum sits there. She stares silently at the ground, and at the sky, and the weight of years moves. Memories of pajama parties and being like the child she never had the chance to be and always feeling happiest and freest around him dance on her memory, and in his.

Softly, she says, "Do you still feel that way?"

He looks down, and again, he says it: "I'm sorry."

"If something happens to you, if you start hurting, or think that you're a bother or that I don't care, that we don't care-" Bubblegum stiffens up, the weight of the things she wanted to say too much for her, and her face freezes up in an awful cluster of grief and anger and shame for everything she wanted to say, but couldn't until it was too late.

It wasn't too late anymore. She had brought him back; they had brought him back. But even so, she still trembled in the shadow of that grief.

"Please," she says. "Please don't do that again."

Marceline softly says, once more, "Dude, don't shut me out. Please."

(Behind them, Simon watches, part of them but in his own sad way feeling not exactly part of things. He turns his face away, and only later does Marceline realize Simon didn't agree to not do any of that, at least not then.)

Marceline and Bonnie put an arm around a broad shoulder each, and they lean into him, and each other. This time, he does not shrink away.

His robotic arm goes around Marceline's waist, his human arm around Bubblegum's shoulder; prosthetic of genius around the one invincible by birth and deed, the beefy arm around the one who was so completely built differently. There was a poetry in it.

He hugs them both, and they give voice to the things they wanted to have said, that they should have said.

And just for a moment, it all feels okay.

It's not something they can repeat.

"We can't do it again, can we?" Finn says, tiredly.

Bubblegum understands what he means. "I tried to bring Jake back."

His expression doesn't flicker.

"I don't know if it was because Jake was... gone longer, or if, well. I think you have to WANT to come back, and Jake..."

Finn sighs again. "Jake was ready to move on anyway."

Bubblegum nods again.

Marceline quietly says, "If its old age that gets you... I don't think there's a lot we can do about that."

Finn lifts his head up and stares into the sky.

"I miss him so much," Finn says quietly. "It was easier to just... let myself go, hoping I'd find him right away. And you found me. I guess... I guess I have to hang on, as long as I can, for you."

Marceline wants to say 'glad to hear it', or something like that. It sounds insincere.

She knows, one day, he will be gone, and this time, he won't come back.

She wants to accept the inevitability, but she has gotten so much back when it should have been past a point of no return. Somehow, it doesn't seem fair.

She closes her eyes, and listens to the sound of his pulse.

Things don't feel gray anymore.

----

(Across the multiverse, upon the brow of the All that knows it is One, it does not pass unnoticed.

It makes an alarm go off. It's not an important alarm, in the broad scheme of things. It's simply an indication of an unusual event. Few powers would care.

The Scarab did, in his role as an auditor of the cosmic powers, and it was not a point in his favor.

He turned his attention to the world of Ooo, and the universe it resided in. His expression flickered balefully as he contemplated that Prismo the Wishmaster had taken an interest in that world for some time.

Well. Perhaps that was an opportunity.

He would have to pay attention to this world, then, and bide it's time. No doubt an opportunity would come up.

----

Time passes, as it does.

Goodbyes happen, as they must.

Finn breathes a last breath, and that is the end of Finn the Human, as he enters the Dead Worlds.

And as he leaves them, too.

A thousand years later.

Marceline Abadeer returns to Ooo, on business of her own, and she meets a small cat-like hero named Shermy.

And across the span of time, across a thousand years-

It is a reunion.

"I think I know you," he says.

Everything stays, she tells him later, and thinks that it does not need to be a gray thing, or a sad thing to say.

[thedeathdeelers]

definitely not (super loosely) based on personal experience 2 weeks ago but like. juke randomly sitting next to each other on the plane >

it’s luke’s millionth flight and the boys are on their way to another city for yet another gig (sunset curve doing well they flying) but it’s only julie’s like 5th (or 100th time- irrational fears are irrational for a reason) time or soemthing. so understandably she’s nervous as hell. especially about the turbulence (and yes ray she knows it’s totally normal and is aware that it’s just like a car driving over potholes or an uneven street but it still freaks her out blame the anxiety)

julie’s kind of found a way to help her through the anxiety though: talk to literally anyone within her direct vicinity to distract herself from the bumpy flight. and usually it’s a friendly old man, or a woman in her mid-50s; and julie’s been pretty lucky with how friendly everyone is and how willing they are to help, and will be forever thankful to them

but the problem is, this time ‘round her neighbour is a super cute guy who’s kinda making her just as nervous as the accelerating plane that’s about to take off and julie’s starting to rethink her strategy..

maybe she can just do this herself-

the plane lurches slightly to the left as it leaves solid ground, the gusts of wind outside making it hard for the pilot to keep it as steady as julie would like.

she grips the seat armrests, tries to keep her eyes on the outside world through her tiny window, but her heart won’t slow down and she feels like she’s about to throw up-

“hey so um,” julie whips her head to the side, cringing slightly when she sees the guy sat next to her had his eyes already closed. “do you- do you mind if i just talk to you whenever there’s a bit of turbulence or uh-” julie swallows against the rising panic as the plane continues to shake from side to side the longer they fly through the clouds. “it’s just i- i-panic-when-there’s-turbulence-and-talking-can-sometimes-help-me-stay-distracted-but-it’s-fine-if-you-want-to-sleep-i’m-so-sorry-to-bother-you-maybe-just-ignore-everything-i-just-said.” julie rushes through that sentence in one breath, her heart ready to beat out of her chest as her eyes flick back to stare out the window.

she doesn’t dare to look back at her neighbour, too embarrassed and too panicked to even consider the situation she’s currently in.

okay julie, deep breath. this is totally normal, it’s totally fine. look at all the people sitting around you half asleep, completely relaxed. it’s fine, it’ll be alri-

the plane dips down and back up, making julie’s palms sweat and any thoughts of reassurance fly out her mind.

she closes her eyes shut, only to immediately snap them wide open again, gaze back to being glued to the clouds still surrounding them.

she doesn’t know what to do anymore, eyes scanning any hope of seeing the grassy fields below or maybe even a hint of an outline of land — anything she can focus on that isn’t a white haze.

and just as another considerable bout of turbulence hits, julie feels a warm hand coming to rest over hers, accompanied a second later by a low, gentle voice.

“hey, you’re good. i’m- i’m luke. what’s your name?”

julie turns her head at the voice, eyes tracing up from his hand resting on hers, all the way up to his worried gaze.

she can’t help but stare for a second, mind momentarily distracted by his hazel eyes.

“uh- i’m-” julie stops when her voice falters for a second, then clears her throat and tries again. “i’m julie. i’m really sorry for the way i uh- introduced myself earlier.” julie tries for a sheepish smile, but feels it turning into a grimace when she feels another substantial dip beneath her. she reflexively turns her head to stare out the window again, only to stop mid-way when she hears her neighbour — luke — speak up again.

“nah, that’s fine, no need to apologise. i get it. my buddy reggie used to be terrified of flying.”

“used to?”

“yeah we uh,” it’s only when he pulls his hand away to self-consciously rub at the back of his head does julie realise he had still been holding her hand. “we kinda fly a lot now that we’re getting a decent amount of gigs. we’re a band, sunset curve?”

julie thinks the name sounds familiar, but she can’t really trust her brain to function properly at the moment. she smiles at luke apologetically, shaking her head once.

“let me guess though,” julie let’s her eyes roam down the rest of luke’s top half, eyes lingering only for a second on his ridiculously exposed arms before landing on his calloused fingers. she’s about to look back up when she notices little smudges of ink colouring the tips of his forefinger and thumb.

ah, there it is.

“you….play guitar? and maybe hmm..write some of the songs?”

luke’s eyes light up at her words, the easy grin popping up on his face blinding her for a second.

jeez he was cute.

“how’d you guess?” julie smiles at his excitement, watching him as he sits up a little straighter.

“let’s just say…a fellow musician’s hunch?” julie shrugs. “something about you reminds me of someone.”

“you a musician? what d’you play?”

julie smiles sadly at him. “i used to sing and play the piano. now i kind of just,” julie‘a gaze shifts from his to the seat in front of her. “listen to music.”

she can practically feel his curiosity flowing out of him next to her, but is pleasantly surprised at his restraint.

“what kinda music you listen to?”

julie turns to answer, but freezes when another bad shake forces her to close her eyes.

she takes in a deep breath — in, out, in, out.

“i kind of listen to a bit of everything,” luke says, as if they hadn’t been interrupted. “but i try to focus more on whatever genre i’m trying to channel in my songs whenever i’m working on a new album.”

she feels him rest his warm hand over hers again, gently squeezing.

“this okay?” he asks quietly.

julie nods, eyes slowly easing open again.

“but yeah i like to think i’m pretty open-minded when it comes to all genres of music, although reggie kinda tests that when he slips in his country songs in my journal. like i get it? but maybe it’s just not for me? right now? i can see how i can get inspired by country in the future maybe for an album way way way down the line, but like. not now. but alex, our drummer, recently started getting into kpop and some of the arrangements i’m really digging so i’m thinking maybe testing that out…” he continues talking about experimenting with music, and all julie can do is smile at his attempt at distracting her. the least she can do is partake in this conversation.

“i listen to a bit of everything too,” she says, turning to smile at him. “my mom raised me on the classics, but always made sure i gave every genre a fair shot. she was a big, big fan of music.” julie pauses for a second, then continues. “she was my main inspiration when it came to writing and performing music. she was my driving force, you know?”

julie sees the moment the curiosity in luke’s eyes turns into sympathy as understanding finally dawns on him.

he smiles and nods at her, gently nudging her to go on.

and for the rest of the flight, julie finds herself opening up about her music and her struggles and her mom for the first time to what should technically be a complete stranger. some turbulence still hit during the flight, making her stop to quickly stare out the window, but luke was always there, squeezing her hand in support and finding something to say to get her to turn back to him.

at one point nearing the last stretch of their journey, julie chances a peak outside her window, only to be pleasantly surprised to see the sun shining uninterrupted through clear blue skies, with never-ending fields of green down below.

she smiles at the view, even laughs quietly at herself.

the clouds were finally clearing up.

and for the first time since julie started flying and speaking to strangers on planes, she may or may not have saved her new emotional support passenger’s number. and followed him on instagram.

and giggled a little when he messaged her the second they walked away from each other at the airport.

yeah, maybe flying might come a little easier to her from now on.

and maybe, just maybe, music will, too.

[miracles-and-butterflies]

Second part to Milk, based on a prompt by @dandylion94.

Dolores went out the previous day “to get milk”, leaving Mirabel in charge of the gremlins, who may or may not have taken advantage of the fact.

Now apologies have to be made.

~~~~~~

Freezer Milk

“And none of you think that maybe, just maybe, you all took things a little too far yesterday?”

Antonio fiddled with his fingers, not moving his eyes from the floor. Camilo continued bouncing a ball back and forth against the wall, ignoring his sister entirely. Luisa just awkwardly glanced at the others, whistling innocently. Isabela just quirked a brow.

“I mean, we acted like we would normally,” she argued. “We would have done exactly the same if you were here.”

“Well… Dolores wasn’t here. It was Mirabel. And she didn’t look very happy.” Antonio pointed out.

“That nerd is never happy.” Camilo said.

“And if she wasn’t happy, then it’s on Dolores for leaving her. It wasn’t really a surprise she couldn’t gain control.” She turned back to Dolores. “Admit it, you knew the second you left Casita that she wouldn’t be able to stop us and yet you still went.” 

Luisa nodded, “As much as I hate saying it, I agree with Bela. You totally used her as pawn.”

“Still,” Dolores insisted, getting frustrated with her cousins now. She knew she hadn’t helped, but the blame wasn’t entirely her own either. “None of you four thought about toning it down a notch and going easy on her? As Isabela said, we all knew she wasn’t going to successfully stop you.”

“Nah.” Camilo shrugged. “Besides, it’s good fun messing with her. She gets so worked up about it. It’s not our fault she can’t act her age.”

“It was like having a mini version of our mother,” Isabela added.

“What? Are you seriously blaming Mirabel now for your behaviour?” Dolores questioned.

“She is a teenager,” Antonio hummed, thoughtfully. “She should be joining in with the fun stuff, rather than just telling us off like a grown-up.” He paused then, sharing a glance with the others. “Why doesn’t she?”

Camilo and Isabela both burst into laughter at the idea.

“Because she’s Mirabel, hermanito: the most boring-est person in the world.”

“Why do you think? Same reason Dolores doesn’t.”

Antonio didn’t seem convinced. “Maybe we should try and include her.”

“What?”

“Yeah, we could include her and then she won’t feel all sad,” he explained. “The teachers say you should include everyone in games at school.”

“Toñito, it’s a very nice idea and your heart is in the right place. But Mirabel will absolutely hate it.” Luisa said. 

Dolores cleared her throat. “We’re getting off topic now. The point is.. you are all spawns of Satan and Mirabel is still reeling from the stress you put her through yesterday, and therefore hasn’t left her room. So, you all need to go and apologise.”

“Gladly.” Isabela smirked. “After you.”

“For the last time, I have already apologised!”

“No, you haven’t! All you did was admit you’d lied to her!”

“Why don’t we all do something together to make it up to her?” Antonio suggested. “As we all need to apologise?”

Dolores and Isabela stopped glaring at the other, considering the idea.

“So long as we all agree Dolores is more to blame than we are, I’ll do it,” Isabela remarked.

Antonio nodded. “Okay! Done!”

“But you were tHE ONES WHO—”

“I’m in too.” Luisa cut in. “At this point I’m willing to try anything to get her out of her room - I don’t think she’s eaten today.”

“Great! Camilo? What about you?” Antonio turned expectantly to his brother.

“I don’t really care. Let Mirabel starve herself. It’s not my problem.”

Isabela elbowed him in the gut. “She did keep you alive yesterday.”

“Dolores?” Antonio prompted.

The listener opened her mouth to argue.

Antonio looking at her so hopefully; Isabela still grinning mischievously; and Camilo, who just kinda shrugged, ‘if I have too, then so do you’.

“You know,” Luisa started. Thank God. The other three were complete gremlins, but Luisa could have her good moments (when it suited her). “It’s a bit unfair that you always expect us to rise to your level, but never try to step down to ours. You could at least meet us half-way.”

“That’s a really good point, Luisa.” Isabela echoed, sounding as falsely impressed as a school teacher.

She takes it back.

Luisa wasn’t reasonable at all.

~~~~~~

With a hum, Dolores set down another heavy bucket. The gremlins, shockingly, were stood in silence, completely captivated by her actions.

“Wait, you’re letting us have a water fight? What’s the catch?” Camilo asked, looking suspicious.

“There is no catch,” Dolores answered. “Can’t I do something nice for us all?”

No responses.

“I’m nice to you, aren’t I?” She frowned.

“No.”

Her first thought was to say, ‘well, that’s because you’re all annoying shits and don’t deserve it.’ And maybe on any other day, she would say it.

“Maybe Luisa is right. I know I can be a little uptight—”

“A little?”

“I know I’m uptight,” Dolores corrected, glaring at Camilo. “But I should try to meet you in the middle more often - on the rare occasion your stupidity isn’t illegal or dangerous.”

Antonio gasped. “Wait, you’re joining in too?”

“Something’s definitely up then,” Luisa remarked.

Dolores kept going. “Mirabel is very stressed and worked up about yesterday. I just considered her another adult, you lot didn’t consider her at all. She isn’t very good at being a child.”

“Don’t say that,” Camilo mocked sadly. “She could pass for ten easily.”

“Not appearance-wise, Camilo.”

“No, no, he’s got a point, actually.” Isabela said.

“My friends think she’s eleven,” Antonio piped up.

“If I hadn’t been there for her birth, I’d believe she was eleven, to be honest.” Luisa admitted.

Dolores groaned.

“Not that I disagree, but that’s not the point I’m trying to make here. I mean, she can be as mature and uptight as she wants once she’s over twenty, until that point she can deal with being a teenager. And I’m hoping that by seeing me join in, she’ll be convinced to be a little less tightly wound and act her age for an hour. I’ll even settle for half.”

“Twenty pesos - you’ll get ten seconds at best.”

“We’re not taking bets, Isabela!”

“I don’t think Mirabel’s capable of doing anything fun, sis,” Camilo piped up. “She’s just so boring. This is a lost cause.”

“Well, Dolores doesn’t usually do fun things. But she’s giving it a shot.” Antonio argued.

Rather than respond, Dolores picked up one of the water balloons and threw it at an unsuspecting Isabela, who shrieked.

Huh.

Maybe this would be fun.

Isabela looked completely drenched - plant residue dripping out of her hair and down her face, the dye in her dress running - as she breathed in heavily. “FUCK! That’s so cold!”

“Good,” Dolores grinned.

Casting their eyes around the various buckets of water balloons around, the rest of the gremlins quickly dispersed to retrieve some ammo, leaving Isabela (too busy shivering and clearing her eyes) to take the brunt of Dolores’ attack.

The water fight had fully commenced.

There wasn’t really anything in terms of teams. Though Dolores did note that Antonio and Camilo never went for each other; it was nice to see how close her brothers were. In sheer contrast, Isabela and Luisa were all but trying to murder each other and rarely went for anyone else.

There hadn’t been any rules against their gifts either, but maybe there should’ve been for those two.

Nor was there any kind of point system. Maybe that was for the better too. 

Isabela is extremely competitive and ruthless to win; Dolores and Luisa can easily get relied up in competition, though never to Isabela’s level; Camilo was probably a more normal level of competitiveness, he’ll bother if he knows he has a chance; and Antonio is just happy enough to be there - if he wins, it’s just an added bonus to a fun day. 

The plan was that Mirabel would inevitably hear the giggling and screaming coming from outside. And in concern of someone getting injured, would come out of her room to see what was going on.

And it wasn’t long before worry clearly got the better of the girl, as she walked out.

Dolores managed to slip away from the fight for a moment to meet her half-way.

Mirabel, with her hair still frazzled from yesterday, eyes red from crying and missing her glasses, did indeed look very worried.

“What is happening? Is everyone okay? I heard screaming and I thought someone…” she trailed off, spotting the water balloons and how drenched everyone was. 

“We’re having a water fight, primita.”

“I can see th— I’m sorry, what? You’re a part of… whatever this is?”

Dolores nodded.

As Mirabel stood puzzled, Dolores simply chuckled. She offered Mirabel a water balloon.

Mirabel blinked at her.

“You throw it at someone,” Dolores prompted, gently. “I promise they don’t hurt and the water is pretty lukewarm now.”

“You’re… okay with them doing this?”

“Yep. It’s kinda fun, actually. Want to join us?”

Mirabel didn’t hesitate in her decision. “Absolutely not. I was only worried that… no matter. If everything is fine, I’m going back inside.”

Stubbornly, she headed for the door. 

Dolores quickly caught the girl’s arm. “I’m sorry, Mirabel. I shouldn’t have lied to you. I shouldn’t have left you to begin with. It was my responsibility to watch them, not yours. I didn’t mean to stress you out or make you think you’d failed your parents and me. You didn’t.”

Not really thinking about it, Dolores pulled Mirabel into a hug.

“…Dolores? My embroider—”

“It’s just water, primita. It’s fine.”

Mirabel went to argue, but seemingly just accepted it instead.

“I forgive you,” she said. “The children are nightmares. I can’t believe you are actually… playing with them? You’re completely freezing.”

Dolores scoffed. “I filled the red balloons ice cold water. I think the gremlins worked it out though… or at least Isa did; probably because I kept going for her with them. Speaking of, they probably won’t apologise, but I know Antonio and, at least, Luisa feel bad.” She shook her head a bit. “I thought me messing around with them would convince you to join in. I guess not. You don’t have to. I don’t blame you.”

“No, Dolores. You are actually freezing, to a concerning degree.”

Dolores paused, pulling away.

“You should—”

“No. You don’t get to fuss over me. I’m seven years older than you and I’m not an idiot. And especially not when I’m trying to prove a point that you should act your age.”

Dolores took the opportunity to glance back at the others.

All three of them had ganged up on Luisa at some point and now had her pinned to the ground. All of them giggling and shrieking.

She turned her focus back to Mirabel, once assured that the gremlins weren’t paying any attention. Mirabel was biting the inside of her cheek nervously, eyeing Dolores anxiously, while her face twisted with worry. Dolores can hear her heart beating faster in her chest.

This must of been what her mother felt like growing up with Tía Julieta.

The girl would calm down eventually and it’s not like Dolores was going to drop dead but… the water fight apology is clearly a bust.

So…

Resigned to her fate, Dolores rolled her eyes. She threw the water ballon hard into Camilo’s back - he mistook the attack as one of Isabela’s and promptly tackled his cousin to the ground - and then held out her empty hand.

Mirabel titled her head in confusion. Slowly, her lips raised in understanding. “Wait, are you letting me take care of—”

“Ten minutes, Mira. You can mother hen me for ten minutes and that’s it.”

[undreaming-fanfiction]

With This Ring (6)

Chapter 5 here, Ao3 here

“When I find that dingus, I’m going to strangle him! What was he thinking, leaving like that?!” 

Robin’s voice was way more hoarse than normal. She’d been pacing in Nancy’s room for nearly an hour, still hoping for a phone call, a message, anything from Steve that would indicate that the plan is still on. But hours were passing by, it had already gone dark and apart from the muffled voices of Nancy’s parents downstairs, the Wheeler household was eerily quiet. 

For the first time in her life, Nancy wished her brother Mike would knock on her door and ask her for something, anything to chase away the growing tension. 

“I don’t…I can’t blame him if he did,” said Nancy. She was staring down at her hands, willing the fingertips to stop trembling. This wasn’t like her. “He’d stuck around long enough. He basically put his life on hold for me. So…”

She pressed her lips together. She wouldn’t feel bitter, she promised herself. But every single minute felt like a betrayal, so close to the goal. 

Only it wasn’t Steve’s fault. It was the whole town, the expectations, her parents. 

“Oh no. Nonono. Nancy.” Robin was kneeling in front of her now, intertwining their fingers and squeezing her hand. “Please don’t think that way. Steve wouldn’t do that, I make fun of him a lot, like a lot lot. But he’s the most kind-hearted, dependable guy in the entire Hawkins. When he says something, he means it.”

Nancy squeezed the hand back. “That’s even worse,” she whispered. “Because I know you’re right. If he hasn’t given up on this whole…plan, then it means something’s happened to him. That terrifies me even more.” 

“Nancy…”

She looked into Robin’s eyes, firm and determined, everything Robin loved about her and more. “Think, Robs. Where would he go? Where do we start looking? Because this isn’t just about the plan anymore, I can…run away alone and you can join me when you can, I don’t mind waiting if you don’t.” 

Robin snorted. “Please. As if there’s a world where I mind. But, for the sake of your very bright future…we need to figure something out. I’d go to the woods, maybe? He told me he sometimes goes there to clear his head, think. Maybe that’s what he did?” She sounded hopeful, trying to convince both Nancy and herself. 

Nodding, Nancy wiped at her eyes. “Right. That sounds reasonable, let’s start there. I’m just…sorry. I’m okay with problems, just…not when I’m the one causing them to others.” 

“Oh love. No. No, you’re not.” Robin’s hands were on her face now, cradling it with care Nancy didn’t feel she deserved. “You never chose this. And even if we have to run away and live in sin somewhere, as reverend Brenner loves to say, it will be worth it. I love you too much to let you rot here. So keep that in your beautiful head, hm?” 

Nancy couldn’t help it, she burst out laughing. It was more shaky than she’d have liked, but with Robin at her side, nothing seemed impossible. “God, what an awful mess. You’re right, less moping around, more searching for Steve.” 

Robin mirrored her smile. “Right. After all, being the calm and rational one doesn’t suit me. That’s you in this relationship.” 

But as Nancy got up to prepare for their search, she heard something that made blood freeze in her veins: the sound of the door being locked and her father’s hurried footsteps behind it.

Chapter 7 here

[miitarashi]

You mentioned you have a Tintin oc, do you have any art of them? If not, can you describe them, like how they look or their name and personality and things? I'm so interested in people's oc's ❤️

Unfortunately i stopped drawing a long time ago so i don't have and can't make arts about neither Tintin or my oc,but at least i keep her alive through my writing on my other fic in my native language.

And yes! I can describe her for you 😘

Appearance: her name is Aisha,an young adult woman between 18 and 20 years old, 1.65 tall (5'5, almost the same height as Tintin). Long black, curly hair, usually braided or loose. She has vitiligo (I simply think people like that are the most beautiful thing 🥹) and eyes with heterochromia due to vitiligo (one is brown and the other is light green). Her clothes are very simple, long cargo pants with several pockets and she either wears a top or a tank top. Not so thin, a robust body, but still feminine.

Personality: well, here we start with the fact that she is a thief,bisexual, have ADHD and is ✨️brazilian✨️ lol. She is self-centered and thinks she is the best, always wanting to attract attention as she has a reputation for never having been caught regardless of the robbery. Debauched and manipulative, but only when necessary.

She's not a bad person, since even though she's self-centered, she has a big heart and is very charismatic, the type who makes friends after 5 minutes of conversation (in the meantime, she would probably already know about your family and be planning a visit lol). She has the energy of a Golden Retriver, but provokes like a black cat.

Background : how she and Tintin met is fun because they are the "enemies to lovers" troup. She ended up in Brussels because her parents abandoned her there and ran away because they were fugitives, a old woman called Anastacia took her to raise with two other acquaintances of hers, Alexander and Darium (they are old friends),basically becoming her adoptive relatives and calling her Aisha.

Tintin and her met when they were between 9 and 12 years old and by his looks she thought it was fun to tease the poor guy and get in the way of whatever he was doing regardless of what. Talking wasn't an option since she didn't take it seriously just to keep disturbing him, but when he started to return it in the same way it became a competition to see who hated each other more lol.

With Tintin soon becoming the hero and traveling the world, Aisha stayed, became a thief and started traveling the world always aiming to make the most eye-catching robbery possible (As she never hurt anyone and would return it if the person seemed to need the money more, her relatives let her go without any problems lol).

Every now and then he joined Tintin's enemies just to continue disturbing and making the situation worse, but there was one that was the trigger for enemies to lovers that i'll keep it short because this post is getting long lol. In short, she had joined a gang that manipulated her and to get revenge she planned everyone's arrest but Tintin was also involved and this gang hated him.

Classic one helping the other, Tintin got into an ambush in which she blamed herself because indirectly she was the one who gave the location without knowing it, they fought and you know that moment when one of the two ends up kissing the other and then they ask for one more? yeah 😏... After arresting the gang, they didn't exactly become a couple, but something close (it's deeper than that but I don't want to take too long 🥺)

Overal is it,there's some other little things but i guess it's enough for now. Thank you for the ask tho! I never thought someone would want to know about my Oc lol.

[that-one-weeb-buts-its-the-main]

The Initiative Project| Javik

✧▬ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ▬✧

Reader: female | pre-established relationship

Warnings: Detailed Smut is very much not present but very much eluded too

Notes: Hi, Im on spring break. Enjoy me being back for like a week :)

✧▬ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ▬✧

"Hey."

"What?"

"Damn, who pissed in your cereal?" Y/n laughed, hands in her pockets as she casually mosied along the high arc of the Citadel with one hand tucked away in her pocket, the other holding a flashlight, neither were meant to be up there, "Garrus recommended you this place?"

"Yes," Javik answered, Y/n smiling small as she took a spot next to him.

"Light generator's busted," Y/n responded, standing next to the Prothean, turning off her flashlight "One hell of a view."

Light pollution usually took such a view away; but now? With the light gone, and nothing but natural light from candles, the beauty of the dark took over, the sky showing its true colors, star dust glowed and burned bright purples and blues, reds and oranges at the center.

"I am positive Andormena will likely be the same." Was his only response, causing Y/n to roll her shoulders.

"Yeah...maybe," Y/n chuckled, "I think we all deserve a long nap after what we've been through; but six hundred years...what will you do?"

"What I have always done," Javik answered.

"Survive?"

"Precisely."

Y/n nodded, "Good plan..."

"Then...I will take my leave." Javik spoke, turning himself to leave.

"You don't have to you know," Y/n told, stopping the Prothean in his tracks; "I...It's..."

"What?"

"Please?" Y/n asked, "Just...for a little while more?"

Even in the dark, it was easy to see he didn't want to be there, yet he stayed, and stood, facing the Citdeals opening which framed the galaxy in front of them.

"Look I'm sorry-"

"Sorry? You do not get to be, sorry," He snapped, his footsteps coming closer till she realized he was clearly in her face, "You do not get to apologize, to be sorry, to be remorseful, you have no remorse, you have no sympathy, you have no mercy. You are selfish."

"Selfish?" Y/n defended, offended by such a remark, "Tell me what selfish, you're clearly the higher being, aren't you? You understand all and every primitive, then understand me."

"Running off to another galaxy! Six hundred years in stasis via cryo! Six hundred years dead!" Javik argued: "All so you can run away from your problems-"

"Problems?" Y/n questioned, "What problems- I have to have people to have problems; You just don't get it? My family in the world I helped survive which I come from does not want me! The family in that world? Does not want me! Thane- the only father I ever had- not even of my own blood dead- the closest thing I had to a brother? Kolyat!? Blames me! Mordin is dead! Miranda is dead! Shepard is dead! My best friend Leigon is dead! Garus and James? Dead! So is it so bad that I ask for one thing; one damn thing that guess what?"

Y/n backing up, already starting to leave; "Ends up being me doing shit for others though anyway! Welcome to our fucking cycle your majesty!"

Y/n turned the flashlight back on, leaving the Prothean alone; alone like he was before her, and alone like he'd be after.

"I need a fucking cigarette." He heard her argue to herself her boots clanking against the metal arch of the Citadel.

Sometime soon, the lights would turn back on, people rejoicing in the artical light, the artificual light that posioned the dark of space.

Y/n got her cigratte, shoved away in the back of Liam's apartments in the Initiative base.

"Let's slow down on the cigs, eh?" He spoke, grabbing the tin from in front of Y/n: "He stressed you out that bad love? I haven't seen you smoke in a few years, you know- since I almost arrested you for underaged smoking, then-"

He paused, Garrus had gotten her out of the situation, promising that if she stopped, he wouldn't rat to Thane or Kolyat.

"Yeah...."Y/n sighed, leaning back, half a lit cigratte in between her fingers.

"Sorry..." he apologized, Y/n nodded.

"It's cool." Y/n told.

She looked out the window in silence.

"you know," Liam started up, "what always gets me up when I'm down-"

"Beans on toast."

"Beans on toast!" Liam cheered, "Want to go get some?"

"Yeah sure why the fuck not, my relationship's ruined, why not ruin my stomach," Y/n responded getting up walking towards the door.

"Hey! It doesn't have to be beans on toast!" Liam laughed in his defense following Y/n into the hall quickly, "Could be avacado."

"We're leaving the galaxy in a what? Week and a half and you wanna eat beans and avacado on toast as your last meals?" Y/n spoke.

"Well, not together." He told, "What's better than toast with beans?"

"Litterally anything." Y/n told as they walked through the halls, "Mini wheats for one."

He gaged as they continued out of Initiative headquarters and to a food court, continuing to go back and forth between food choices. Liam grew up in Earth's British city of London, with the citadel sprinkled in for vast periods of time. Y/n, though born on Earth, never seen a damn day of it: her life was a duct rat: how she met Thane after all, no parents to claim her, so, in a way: Thane claimed her as his; felt responsible, one needed the other after all. Thane got his information, Y/n got her payment, usually settled in Diner food. After some time, it became a weekly thing, the drala'fa and the assassin at a diner, eating whatever was being served: breakfast lunch, or dinner.

It's how she joined the Normandy in the first place, she had gone missing; Thane had practically begged for assistance in finding her; she had disappeared with no trace; she had been caught, grabbed by smugglers and slavers, free product with high profit with no strings attached was ideal. With enough luck, and treats they found the cargo ship and Y/n within. At the crisp age of nineteen turning twenty within her first week there, she was on the Normandy; ready to fight, not to mention she gained an unofficial family. Kolyat had even joined the group for a small time: Y/n and him enjoying each other's company. Kolyat...right, in a fit of anger; perhaps resentment or just sadness he blamed her; it was her fault, it was her doing; she was there she could of stopped Cerberus; it was just one person, it was just one assassin, she knew better, she could of handled it.

"Hello! Citadel to Y/n!" A hand waved in front of her face.

"What?" Y/n asked.

"You were talking then you stop," Scott told.

"I was?"

"Yeah." Sara told, "You forget there was a salad in front of you too?"

Y/n looked down at her food before rubbing over her eyes with a groan.

"Are you good dude?" Scott questioned.

"I'm fine," Y/n told them.

"She's goin threw it; her 50k-year-old boyfriend just fucked her in the ass and left," Liam commented.

"Really Liam?"

"It's true, got her smokin' and everything," Liam told the Ryder twins.

"Damn that's gotta be rough," Sara started, "Sorry..."

"I don't get it." Scott spoke up, "You're 21 dating an old man, look at you; you could have anyone and you date a Prothean you helped unfreeze when the reapers attacked."

"Scott." Sara scolded hitting her twin in the chest.

"What? I'm being honest! Why him in the first place even?" He questioned; "he's an asshole! We all know it!"

"he's not an asshole."

"Right. He's a dick." Scott corrected himself.

"He's rough around the edges sometimes." Y/n defended, "I am leaving and never coming back, I just feel like maybe I should stay-"

"You're kidding me?" Sara asked.

"What?"

"After all you've done, and at your age: you wanna do something for someone else? Again?" Sara argued; "What has he done for you to make you stay?"

"Well-"

"Fucking you does not count," Sara defended.

Y/n was silent for a moment, what did Javik do for her?

Javik had her back, for better rather than worse; usually. After Thane's death, he was her vent mate; her rooms vent connecting right into his, the night crying he claimed was annoying; useless even.

'Crying will not bring back the dead.' He argued, sat on his cot.

'Sorry your royal fuck face that my dad just fucking died.' She snaped back.

'Rage was always one thing you humans got right,' He commented, 'I believing it's one of your...greatest inspirations, it is what has kept your people alive for so long."

'I'm not angry,' Y/n defended; 'I have to keep a cool head, I am not angry. It'll just get more people killed.'

'Not angry?" he laughed, 'Is that what the drell taught you? anger gets people killed? Anger fuels life. It is the chaos that keeps peace in balance, You're anger is not what gets people killed. it's the ignorance that is contained within your anger.'

Y/n was silent for a moment as she laid down on her cot, wipping her face with her sleeve.

'How do you know?' Y/n asked looking up at the ceiling.

'Its one damn thing I have learned in this cycle,' he told, 'I have also learned you're saying Ignorance is bliss, is quiet idiotic. It is what breeds your ignorant behavior in anger."

"He's had my back." Y/n spoke in Javik's defense, "More than once."

'You could have protected him!" Kolyat shouted, 'Why didn't you protect him!'

"I-"

'What?! You tried!?' Kolyat shouted, 'Tried isn't good enough! You're so busy fucking around that you couldn't even do what your fucking here for!'

'You will not talk to her in such a tone!' Javik shouted, pushing Kolyat back and out of her face, 'Speak to her on such a tone again, and it will entail a problem between me and you.'

Kolyat glared at him, 'Do I make myself clear?' Javik argued.

'Fuck you.' Kolyat snapped pushing passed Javik and walked away from the two of you.

'Kolyat-' y/n spoke, but he was already gone, 'Kolyat, please...'

'He will not bother you-'

Y/n had already crumbled, crying into her hands in the middle of the room he walking up to her.

'Do not waste tears on some so ignorant. You primatives-'

She hugged him in desperation, freezing Javik in place as she held onto him.

"Yeah. He's had my back." Y/n nodded to the group, "Just rough around the edges is all. Trust me."

"What we mean is." Liam spoke up, "We want you to be happy, live for you. You know? What do you want to do? For you? You've done a lot for others."

"I don't know what I want anymore." Y/n answer honestly.

"Well..." Liam spoke, "How do you want to feel?."

Y/n looked down at her food, "I don't know."

"Thats thw good thing about stoves." Liam told with a smile. "Things can go on the back burner to simmer."

Think about it. Just think, it didn't have to be immedate, just, think. Take time, and think.

"I feel full."

"You barely ate."

"Yeah I'll take it with me." Y/n told picking herself up and the container, leaving the group.

Gone from sight, she decided going to her initiative quaters was best, and on the way, she would drop her untouched meal off in front of a duct where it would be grabbed up quickly by one of the kids.

Maybe a nap would be best.

Making it to the halls of doors, each leading to onrs own room and office, she saw Javik leaning up against the wall, clearly waiting. She'd have to deal with it sooner rather than later.

"Hey."

He glanced her way, "Hello."

"You're...here..." Y/n spoke.

"I am."

Y/n looked towards the door, "Did you-"

"Here."

Y/n looked at the small bunch of flowers wrapped in paper and a string.

"Oh. Marigolds." She spoke, "my favorite."

"They were annoying me. Every time I passed that old human woman."

"So...you got them for me?"

"They annoyed me because they reminded me of you."

Y/n took them carefully, "thanks. Appreciate it..."

"The Krogan offered me work."

"Oh. Wrex?" Y/n spoke, looking down at the flowers," bounty work?"

"Land Work," Javik commented, "a farm."

Y/n looked up, "he offered you work as a farmer?"

"Amongst other opportunities."

"And farming? It? Caught one of your eyes or? Six?" She questioned.

"All of them." He commented: clearly not getting the joke.

Y/n chuckled under her breathe, "why uh. Why farm work?"

Javik was silent as Y/n looked at him awaiting his answer.

"You." Was his final answer, "I had discussed with Wrex while we were still together on the Normandy. You had...talked about it a lot with the fields."

"...the corn fields we saw in that colony," Y/n told him Javik nodded, "You remember that?"

"My memory may not be as sharp as a Drells, but it's still better than humans."

Y/n chuckled in response gently rubbing one of the leaves on the marigold's stem to keep her mind busy, hoping not to give away her bashfulness; "Thanks uh again for the flowers,"

Javik gave a curt nod as she smiled back, "I should get to filing some stuff then..."

With a put of a button, the door opened allowing Y/n to go through she sent him a small wave of the hand as she did. The door closed as she stood there, looking at the flowers in hand, before setting them on a shelf in an old ration can she had used for a vase. She looked at them sitting all pretty in an old can. A finger came up to her mouth as she chewed on the nail in debate. Y/n was quick to backtrack, opening the door once again; Javik still standing there seemingly having a debate himself as Y/n quickly kissed him, he quick to kiss back; hands grabbing her arms as he backed her up into her office, Y/n quickly flailed her hand around for the control panel to press the lock button, uncertain if she got it, she was already pushed back into the desk, being lifted up to sit ontop it.

"I don't think she's going with us," Sarah argued.

"She's going." Liam defended, "Trust me."

[ghost-rule0]

Mindfuck (Part 1/2)

Vash the Stampede x Reader

Another draft for the fanfic I wanted to try writing down. Again not edited bc I am still at work just writing down ideas. This time Imma split it in two parts tho, one focusing on exploring readers own defensiv strategies while also bonding with our beloved ex insurance worker and now reporter Meryl :3

The second part is again some fluff with Vash obviously and I might also trow in some Wolfwood and or Roberto interactions for the sake of writing them.

I still need to do more researche and draw more concepts for this fanfic to actually start so imma just bomb you with scenarious that I might or might not will later trow in the real book. Also yes I will probebly trow in isekai reader but thats just an idea for now

Enjoy!

The tension in the air was almost suffocating. The room was painfully silent aside from the faint sobbing of children and their mothers trying calm them down, voice trembling in fear.

Y/N knew this scenario more than she did like to. The bandits that held the bank hostage that she and Merly entered some hours ago were having an heated argument in back of the room while the other hostages nerves were tested at the fearful image that was infront them. The bandits had shot one of their own comrades that didn't want to share with them and now was laying dead in his own puddle of blood.

Human brains worked the same no matter which dimension they were in. It didn't matter if it was on Earth or here on Gunsmokes Criminals were always mentally scared beeings, so if stressed some tended to use the only form of problem solving they knew.

That just happened to be violance.

Back at home before she crashed the dessert here some weeks prior she was studying exactly that, using her observant nature and her deep interest in crime to become a profiler.

In a world where Guns and Violance was dominating the planet having the abilitys she possesed, analyzing heavior and seeing the patterns while also manipulating people to let her be, that was her ultimate weapon to stay alive. since the only other weapon she had was a metalic pipe and that barely worked against a fully armed bandits.

She stayed silent most of the event, looking around and calmly observing her surroundings. Originally there were three bandits. Two dominat ones and one subbmissiv guy. Right as they started this whole trouble she knew from experience some shit would eventually go down since most of the time criminals only could operate in groups with one dominat member that so happen to have submissiv sidekicks, so seeing the two man bicker over the leader role already set of the alarm bells in her mind.

Meryl meanwhile was also surprisingly calm, or at least she tried to be. The reporter wasn't used to beeing in the middle of conflict. Since she joined Roberto, Vash had always been the center of attetion which made it a bit easier for her to stay back and have less stress. But Vash wasn't here and she was stuck with the only other person on this god forsaken planet that was similar a danger magnet than the blond man himself.

But that didn't stop her from keeping herself cool. Seemingly more nervous than her partner beside her but still in a better mental state than the other hostages. For Vash for this matter, who was outside with Roberto and wolfwood. The trio hid in a alleyway near the bank, carefully watching the sheriff and the bankers wife talk about the situation. The blond man was basically a nervous wreck and blamed himself for the capture. Telling himself he should have gone with the two girls or at least get inside to save there asses. But he didn't let that get through, while his anxious side was bascially ripping his brain apart the gunslinger and rational side of him was already working on a plan.

Y/N didn't exactly know that but she predicted that he would do something like that. He cared for people too much to just let a hostage happen under his watch. But she knew as much as she wanted to, she couldn't put all the afford on getting them out on the boys. Which is why she already had an idea.

Prior to them walking off to the bank Roberto gave Meryl one of his darengers, which she thankfully had hidden so good in her coat that as the bandits demanded all weapons to be given to them they couldn't find one on her. And since she was the only one currently possesing a weapon it was her job to take out the leader while she herself took the side kick.

The screaming of the leader become loud and obnoxious enough that he had all the attetion of the room, so she could whisper to merly without anyone noticing.

"I think I got a plan" she whispered as her eyes were locked on the duo. "You think? What are we supposed to do its two armed gigants against us" she hissed silently in the (h/cs)nettes ears. Y/N hummed agreeing as answer as her eyes roamed the area. "You still have the gun Roberto gave you right" her voice dropping almost inaudible as the word gun rolled of her tongue, playing even more save no one would notice their conversation. Meryl softly nodded before Y/N spoke up again. "When I give you a signal you shoot the gun out of the bigger guys hand. Try not to aim for his fatal spots until really necessary. I take care of the second one..." she laughed air and soundless before looking at me. "He also has a gun how do you want to do that?! As soon as I hurt his boss we are swiss cheese!"

Carefully observing the smaller man as he started to nervously chew on his fingers she smirked. The gun in his hands he held firmly but his finger never was even near the trigger. He flinched every time his boss was pointing at one if the hostages when he spilled empty threats and ealier as he shoot the other bandit he couldnt even look at the corpse.

"That is gonna be childsplay trust me"

-

It didn´t take long until the argument had finally stopped and the bandits attetion was back at their hostages presence. No one dared to move. They didnt need to rope them up since all of the people were scared, scared too shitless to even try to resist. Most silently sobbed, some prayed, others sat in their corners and accepted their envidible doom and Meryl and Y/N meanwhile had gotten their hands on one of the belongings of the bankers inside. Working in a bank all day takes a lot of time and nerves since its takes full concentration out of someone to carefully count money and take care of the safes in the back. So it wasnt surprising one of them had empty bottles laying around. Collecting laying around juck was less noticable than for example asking the staff memembers for say cigerettes and lighters. It wasnt much but it was enough to cause the bandits to panic. The leader kicked one of the workers in the face as he held his gun to the poor mans head. “you useless fucks are even less worth than the little to no cash you have laying around in this bullshit bank! Not even the Sheriff wants to pay for your pathetic asses! Fucking useless shits!” he growled in rage as the banker cried and plead for his life. “Please..Please! I have a wife and children at home! Please do..don’t kill me” he maniged to croak out between sobs. The Bandit puts his finger on the trigger and grinned, in a widely spread and digusting smile. His eyes were could and his eyebrows twitched in amusment. He was getting a kick out of seeing the mans fear, begging him to not pull the trigger. Y/N knew that face and she cursed silently in her head. The man didn’t care for the money anymore. After killing his teammate he started to get a kick out of it.

He started to like killing people.

“fuck it” the girl growled digusted before jumping up, carefully having moved to the blind spot carefully over the past minutes, before trowing the bottle as hard as she could at the back of the leaders head, stunning him for a second as Meryl dashed forward and shot right trough the hand that was holding the gun. A loud and painful cut trough the silence as blood spat everywhere, leaving the mans head mangled and impaled as the reporter takled his screaming form to the ground and took his gun. Holding both the deringer and the mans own gun to his head, hissing in his hear to stay down or else he would have two more holes in his head to speak shit out from. The other robber meanwhile started to panic and point his gun at her friends head. “Get....get of....off him or else...else I will shoot!” he stuttered out. His eyes were wide and fearful but also paniced. Y/N meanwhile walked slowly between them. Having the gun of the panicking robber pressed against her forhead. As she calmly smiled. Her calm starring made him seemingly shake more, having the finger on the trigger non stop as he blabbeled more nonsense, trying to threath her. But it was barely understandble english since his stuttering made him almost mess up every word. If she didn´t knew better he almost looked like beeing moments away from having a panic attack. Shaking, heavy and unsteady breating, increased heartbeat and blurred vision by tears.

Yeah she knew all this systems all too well from her time back home.

Meryl seemed also to sweat, becoming more nervous for her friends safety as she carefully held the man down, recalling her words from ealier. “childsplay? you are insane!” She chuckled as she smiled at her “maybe you need to be a little insane to survive here. Ok listen I will stun the leader so you can get a good aim for his hand and dash to hold him down. And no matter what you hear, concentrate on holding the guy down and don’t turn around to me, ok?”

She swallowed hard as she mumbled “you are so fucked up” clenching her eyes shut as she forced herself to concentrate fully on holding the guy down, not looking if her friend would soon be silenced as a shoot would ring.

But it never came. The nervous mumbling of the bandit was interupted by a cutting, clear and cocky sounding. “you won´t shoot me, you don’t have the guts to do soo”

The gun fell from his almost forcefully shaking hands, right before the cocky grinning Y/N grabbed him and pulled him forwards. Punching him right in the face, covering her fist with lots of his blood, probebly breaking his nose, before his limp body hit the ground.

---

[xalygatorx]

Worthy (2015) | Chapter 19, "Sacrifice"

Disappearing sporadically in public spaces quickly becomes Cora Dempsey's least concerning problem when suddenly she captures the attention of the forming Avengers Initiative, the World Security Council, and Asgard's fallen prince all in one week. And the universe is only just getting started with her.

Worthy is a slow-burn SFW Marvelverse (films) romance between Loki and a female OC. For additional details on what canon is used, see the Prologue post.

Summary: The Dark Elves launch their assault on Asgard. The royal family suffers a horrific loss. Cora attempts to comfort Loki and is met with blame and backlash.

Pairing: Loki x Fem!OC

Warnings: Family death (Frigga); grief

Word Count: 2.6k

The palace was in a state of chaos within seconds of the first ship exploding to pieces and hurtling toward the water, which caused a bang that reverberated through the walls. Up from the floor, rumbles of activity were still causing tremors and the shouting was getting louder from beyond the staircase.

Cora was stepping past the window to get a better look of what was happening when Thor rocketed through the stone archway and she had to dodge to not get slammed across the corridor. "My apologies," he said hurriedly over his shoulder before running to the stairs to join the fray, looking exhilarated by the prospect of a fight, but simultaneously wary of—what she could only suppose was—Loki being the cause.

"No problem," Cora murmured a little breathlessly, feeling ridiculous saying that when there was most certainly a problem. Numerous problems, in fact, coming at them from all sides.

Sif ran back up from the dungeon then and grabbed Cora's elbow, towing her down the hallway. "We need to find the Queen. Thor's apparently left his woman with her and I do not want Frigga to put herself in danger trying to protect the mortal," she said with a rushed tone.

"Look, I know you're jealous, but I don't think Jane—" They dodged in an alcove when the palace shook with an explosion, which sounded like it came from just on the other side of the wall. "—is our biggest problem right now."

Sif grimaced and nodded, looking sheepish. "You are right."

"I usually am," Cora teased, which made Sif smirk even as they sprinted down the hallway to try and locate Frigga. "Do you even know where we're going?"

"She was at the west balcony last I saw her," Sif shouted over a roar of noise below the floor. It sent chills up Cora's spine. "I figure if we head that way, we should run into her."

"How long ago was this?" Cora shouted back.

"Not too long, trust my judgment, woman!"

"Never said I didn't—oh, now what's happening?!"

They skidded to a stop at the next window and Sif glanced between Cora and the golden transparent field that was climbing up to surround the palace before realizing that of course the girl didn't know what it was. "It is a shield, Cora. Our shield. We will be safe n—"

The words had no sooner begun to leave her mouth when a ship exploded against the shield and the growing reinforcement paused before beginning to fade back down. "It looks like the same stuff the prison walls are made from," Cora observed. "How…"

"Someone must have stalled the core," Sif reasoned apprehensively, looking past Cora to the window where the fleet was closing in. "We do not have much time."

"Then let's hurry," Cora suggested when she followed Sif's gaze, grabbing the goddess's hand and sprinting for the end of the passage, which opened up to the throne room. "Can we cut through here?"

"Yes, through there," Sif confirmed, nodding toward a door opposite the one they were about to breach. Just as they set foot in the throne room, the main entrance caved in. Stone fragments hurtled in large clouds of debris through the air and the ear-splitting crunches of shattering pillars deafened everyone in the room. "Go!"

Cora and Sif sprinted through the hordes of Asgardian soldiers who had assembled at the forefront to defend their king. She could tell Sif wanted to stay and fight with them, but knew her priority at the moment lay with finding the Queen and making sure she was safe. Then she could take part in the battle at hand. They barely made it through the doorway before a pillar came down on their heads, blocking the door behind them.

Not stopping because they simply didn't have time, the two continued to run. "Frigga!" Cora shouted, hoping if they sounded some kind of alarm, she'd hear them and they wouldn't be running blindly. However, the answering sound was another blast ahead of them that shot pieces of rock through the narrow passage back at them. Sif tugged Cora down as she ducked, putting her shield up over both of them to fend off most of the debris.

She stood and glanced to the side an an old suit of armor, tugging the sword free and holding it out to Cora. "Not how I would have started you out on a real sword, but we don't have much choice," she noted as she glanced down the hall to note that the intruding ship's hatch was slowly opening, a red glow radiating from the inside. Cora glanced between her and the hilt before taking the blade from her, swallowing a little hard.

The beings that emerged from the belly of the craft were straight out of a horror flick. They looked like they were wearing weird variations of hockey masks and the rest of their armor was black as could be with patches of silver plating. The eyeholes of their masks looked like skull sockets. "What the hell are they?" Cora asked under her breath, not daring to take her eyes off them.

"Elves. The Dark Elves from Svartalfheim," Sif said hurriedly in a hushed tone. "And they have guns, rush them!"

The words had no sooner left her mouth when they raised their weapons to fire and thin red beams projected from the barrels. "Just like practice!" Sif shouted over the sound the guns made and the roars of noise from the blocked off throne room behind them. They dodged their way through and though Cora wasn't sure she was ready for this, she knew she had to be.

She gave herself over to instinct and dodged a blow from the butt of one elf's gun, bringing up the blade and slamming it home through a gap in its armor. It staggered and then fell and, at first, Cora was horrified at herself. Then she heard Sif yell, "It's kill or be killed, Cora! You are doing fine," as the war goddess cut down two more of their attackers.

Cora swallowed dryly before pulling her blade free, her eyes catching swiftly on some kind of projectile one of the elves threw toward Sif. There was a pulsating red light in its crevices and Cora immediately likened it to a grenade, urgently shouting, "Sif, dodge left, now!"

Sif did as she said immediately and just seconds after, the grenade-like object deployed and a nearby elf got pulled into the blast, though the explosion did not work as Cora expected it to. She watched in disbelief as the creature was tugged into the force and compacted with whatever debris the grenade's field could grab, the sounds of crunching bone and warping armor echoing through the narrow passage.

Cora grimaced visibly, but she detached herself quickly, going back to defending herself in every way Sif had taught her in all their training sessions. Battered and burned from shots out of the elves' guns, Sif and Cora eventually cleared the hall, though the battles throughout still raged on. "Come on," Sif said breathily as she slid between the wall and the ship's wreckage, heading toward the opening behind it.

Cora followed hurriedly, the both of them bolting from the corridor when they saw a couple more of the armored bastards at the end of the next hall. Sif started to run at them, but Cora tugged a gun from one of the elf corpses littering the floor and cocked it, shooting them down. Sif gaped a little. "Their weapons are surprisingly similar to ours," she explained briefly as she leaned the heavy sword against the wall, ditching it and keeping the gun as they ran along the hall.

Sif stopped suddenly and threw her arm out to stop Cora as well. "What?" Cora asked breathlessly.

"Listen," Sif said softly and they heard an echoing sound of thunder in the floor above them. "That came from the Queen's personal chambers…" The dread in her voice spurred them both forward up the next staircase, Sif in the lead.

Cora followed her all the way down the hallway which opened up before them as soon as they hit the last stair. She nearly ran into Sif when she skidded to a stop in front of an open archway, paling at whatever she saw inside. Cora stepped forward to get a look, her heart plummeting when she saw Odin on his knees, cradling Frigga in his arms as blood soaked the side of her gown. Jane and Thor were inside, Jane attempting to comfort him as he looked down at the floor, two parts rage and one part sorrow. That one part would grow to envelop the others, as Cora knew very well.

Her throat tightened as she looked back at Frigga's lifeless form, shaking her head as she respectfully averted her gaze. She noticed Sif was looking at Thor and the two eventually locked gazes, utmost apology and sadness upon the female warrior's face. The prince gave a faint nod before he leaned down and murmured something to Jane, who hesitated before leaving the room and heading to the staircase. Thor moved to kneel beside his father, heaving a pained sigh before he gently picked up his mother, carrying her from the room.

Cora and Sif stepped aside, Sif wiping away a few stray tears as Cora stood, stoic but grieving in her own way as well. She softly touched Sif's arm before looking to Odin, walking inside and stopping a few feet away. "Is there anything I can do?" she asked softly.

Odin was silent as he got up, but shook his head briefly before he left the chamber without a word. He didn't look the powerful king that Cora had seen him as upon her arrival and ever since; he looked like an old man, sad and newly alone. It broke her heart and, as she glanced toward the scarlet stain on the stone floor, she felt the new loss grow heavy in her chest, grouping in with older scars.

Cora snuck away from the funeral that night when everyone was engulfed in their quiet grief. She'd been standing toward the back, leaving the family and those who had known Frigga longest to their privacy. She had also been standing there so no one would notice her slip off back toward the palace, crossing from the coastline back to its golden reaches.

She hadn't had much to feel bitter toward Odin about. Especially not in a time like this. However, she now had one thing, she realized as she moved through the entryway as glowing orbs of starlight glided toward the heavens in her wake, Frigga's essence dispersing to join them. The fact that Odin had not allowed Loki out of his cell long enough to attend his own mother's funeral was near-criminal. He knew what she meant to him. Everyone knew. There was no excuse.

She wasn't going to leave him alone this night. Not completely. Cora knew how dangerous that could be and she also knew how aggravating it could be to be smothered. She'd experienced it all and she was getting some serious traumatic flashbacks from her own parents' deaths, like the ones she'd had for two years after in the form of nightmares and panic attacks. In fact, they were also similar to the ones she'd been experiencing about the morning she was put into a deep freeze since the first night she'd laid her head to rest in Asgard. She was lucky she'd already known how to handle those—there was enough for her to deal with at present without figuring out how to talk herself through mild panic attacks all over again in the middle of the night.

Cora moved fluidly down the stairs this time, knowing the steps by now, and stepped from the stairwell hesitantly, leaning around the corner to gauge what she was walking into before she walked into it. Loki paced idly in his cell, the furnishings all in their usual place, not a hair out of turn. Her brow creased a little and she startled slightly when he stopped and uttered, "Brave of you to come down here now."

She sighed and stepped out, looking up at him as he turned around and approached the barrier between them. "Loki…," she murmured, quieting as she pursed her lips and shook her head. "I know it will never quite cover it, but I'm so sorry." Cora hated saying she was sorry about death; it was so incomplete and so casual, such a cop-out, but what else was there to say? She was sorry. Deeply. In ways he didn't even understand.

He was silent a moment as he looked down at her, towering over her more than usual with the cell elevation. "As you should be," he said flippantly. "But are you really?"

Cora froze, speechless. She was only able to reply with a bewildered, "…What do you mean?" She heard an accusation in his tone, but she didn't know what it could be for.

"Well, you were her lapdog, were you not?" he reasoned chidingly. "There every other time but when she needed you most."

"Loki, this is not my fault," Cora argued calmly, her jaw tense as she shook her head. "I know how terrible you feel, but this—"

"This? This!" He slammed his fists against the barrier, light rippling from where impact was made and slight burns lancing over his skin. "This is what stopped me from saving her! What was stopping you? Self-preservation? Stupidity? Fear?"

"Stop," Cora warned him, holding it together as he raged before her out of what she knew was grief. Blinding, terrifying, heart-wrenching grief. But she couldn't bear the brunt of much more.

He paused with faux calm as he looked down at her. "Look at you. Amending things. Do you think you can possibly fix this? Now?" Loki shook his head, slanting a gaze down at her as a cold sneer curved his lips. "You just can't save anyone, can you?"

He could have rammed a metal rod through her gut and it would've hurt less. Her insides iced over and she just stopped everything, her throat feeling raw with swallowed anguish. Cora's gaze dropped to the floor and she struggled to maintain her composure for just a moment before she gave up and shook her head, simply leaving without another word.

Loki watched her go, listening to the footsteps patter up the staircase before he released his illusion. The cleanliness of his cell faded into disarray and "he" disappeared from behind the glass, sitting against the west wall of the prison. Blood dripped from a cut on his foot as he stared blindly toward the opposite wall, his eyes slowly closing as he gritted his teeth.

He'd regretted the words even as they'd fallen from his lips and there was no taking them back. He was angry, bitter, rage-fueled, and broken, but this was not her fault. Loki had noticed the bruises and cuts on her skin and could only figure he was lucky she hadn't been slain as well.

"You might want to take the stairs to the left."

His jaw clenched until it pained him and a scream of pure rage tore from his throat, vibrating through his frame until he lost his breath and fell back against the wall, breathing raggedly as he entertained a sensation which felt like someone digging their fingers between his ribs, giving one painful pull after another in effort to break him open.

He almost wished they would.

Next chapter: Chapter 20, "Life Goes On"

[madalice31]

Mmmm now I’m triggered lol.

Halle Bailey did not gaslight anyone. It’s not gaslighting when one, you don’t have any relationship with this person, platonic or otherwise, not even a conversation. So exactly how did she gaslight you? What she did was not acknowledge the fact that she was pregnant…to the public. It’s not like she was lying to the people closest to her about being pregnant. And not once did she deny being pregnant! She may have jugged on or ignored a lot of yall’s questions, but she had every right to do that if she didn’t want to share the experience with the public. Let’s not start this narrative that she was “gaslighting” cause yall don’t know how to not project your own shit on other people. Even Chloe never denied it, she just said yall stop gossiping about my sister! As she should have. Period. Halle was never the problem.

It was obvious. She knew it was obvious. People caught on, and she even straight up got caught with those hoodie pics. But you know what, she continued to keep that shit to herself because she ain’t want to talk about it with yall! And guess what, she wasn’t obligated nor required to talk to yall or acknowledge anything.

I’m getting irritated at the comments. “She so weird, why talk about it now? Oh she just didn’t want to be looked at as a baby mama. Oh she was tryna to maintain her Disney image.” Blah, blah, blah. Y’all will never know what her reasons were unless she decides to share that. Speculate all you want. But a woman has the right to be like, hey I don’t want to share my actual pregnancy experience with you guys. I don’t want to be asked questions in interviews. I don’t want yall judgement cause I’m not married or I’m too young in your eyes. I don’t want to deal with yall being all in my business. So no, you don’t get to see me pregnant. No, I’m not gonna answer questions about it. Yes I will sit in this poofy ass dress with my legs crossed, knowing you can tell, but talking to you about everything else BUT. You think this press tour, people didn’t know? All these interviews, people didn’t know? Her team kept that shit on lock and made sure everyone kept their mouths shut! Kudos to them!

A woman also has the right to say, now that my child is here, I’m willing to share more. I’m going to acknowledge my child. And y’all still ain’t gonna get every bit of info, but y’all can stop talking now. Like y’all done done now?

Nothing wrong with that. Nothing weird about that. Hence why in her caption she says the world was “desperate” to meet him. Cause folks was hella pressed.

Now do I have some opinions on who with and why now, yes I do. Do I have some opinions about the black community and baby mama/baby daddy culture, yes I do.

But that’s neither here nor there. The point is she didn’t owe us shit! So let’s stop throwing around words like “gaslighting” when it comes to people that haven’t even had a conversation with us, and most likely NEVER WILL.

If you asked her in person if she was pregnant and she told you no, that’s still not gaslighting lol. Cause if you come back and say oh so you were pregnant, you lied. The response? Yes, I did lie. Because I didn’t feel like sharing that with you at the time. But now, yeah, obviously I was pregnant. Last I checked, a lot of your mothers, daughters, aunties, and cousins have done the same. For whatever their reasons, they have done the same. You’ve kept secrets for them. So how is this any different? Just cause she a celebrity yall feel so entitled and it’s ridiculous.

I blame it on the celebrities who do that shit tho. Who think they need to share everything, like that’s normal. Even to the point of announcing divorces and break ups. Like celebrity divorce announcements have always been the dumbest shit to me. Like I give a fuck about your shit relationship ending. Why is that shit on CNN? We talk more these days about their personal lives than their actual projects and creative endeavors. These days, the people are more so the commodity, versus what they actually sell, create, or provide and it’s sad. Anyway, I digress.

Can I just say this before I leave? If we gonna give Rihanna praise for changing the maternity game, and showing us how to style a pregnant belly on full display. Let’s give Halle credit for showing us how to style a pregnant belly you don’t want to showcase or flaunt, but still look stylish and sexy. Cause every outfit and dress she wore throughout her whole pregnancy was spot fucking on! Her stylist understood the assignment!

[blvckqwz]

3. Every Man For Himself

The excitement about the new world was quick to die, replaced instead by new problems. Evelyn didn’t want to go anywhere near the rest of the delinquents as she was pretty sure that they would jump her the second they saw her.

It was complicated.

She wasn’t like Clarke or Wells, because they were stuck up assholes, but she wasn’t like those other beasts either. She just decided to keep for herself until the rest of the Ark came down.

And then what?

She was supposed to be dead in a week, and now there she was, on Earth. All by herself. Footsteps’ sound came from behind her as the girl raised her head from the ground where she had sat, bored out of her mind.

“Something tells me that there is bad news behind the corner, isn't there?” Evelyn asked as she eyed the pair coming towards her. “Yes, there is.” Clarke replied, looking worried “We landed here, and Mount Weather is there.” The blonde started to point somewhere behind the forest, “So we need to make our way there if we want to get that food. It’s probably going to take all day to hike there.” She explained. 

Evelyn stayed quiet, the little excitement left from before vanished before she could even enjoy it.

“The communication system is also dead. I went to the roof, heat fried the wires.” Wells added.

Great, just fucking great.

"Well, all that matters right now is getting to Mount Weather.” The blonde stated, not missing the confused glance the brunette beside her shot her, “ See?” She crouched down on the floor to draw something on a map Evelyn didn’t care enough to look at, “Look. This is us. This is where we need to get to if we want to survive." Clarke replied while shooting an annoyed look at the boy. Wells obviously missed it, but Evelyn surely didn't.

“Where did you learn to do that?” Wells asked, as if he couldn’t make the situation anymore tense. 

Clarke coughed and shifted on her feets awkwardly.

”Your father…” He realized. Wells looked like he wanted to say something else but Evelyn pipped in, while glaring at him. 

“What does this stuff have to do to me? In case you missed it I left the magic wand at home.” She said, getting up and wiping her dirty hands on her discolored jeans, “And sure as hell not hiking in a radioactive forest.”  

“We need the supplies.” Clarke sounded annoyed, which made the other girl roll her eyes, “Then let’s go hunting, or the hell I don’t know, let’s go fucking picking berries.” Evelyn shot back. “Half of us didn’t even pass basic Earth Skills’s class.” Wells objected.

“Us?” Evelyn chuckled, “There is not us. These people wouldn’t spit on you even if you were on fire, trust me, as soon as something goes wrong they will blame us.” She spat, “Is every man for himself Jaha, it has always been.” 

Wells's face contorted in a mask of worry as he eyed the girl next to him. But Clarke’s eyes were fixed on Evelyn with an unreadable expression. 

“Hey” a voice called. 

Evelyn shot one last glance to the pair before swiveling around and saw Jasper walking towards her alongside Monty. “I just wanted to say that what you did to that guard was cool.” He said 

“Thanks.” She replied. His blood was still stuck on her hand, now dried and peeling off. He thought it was cool, not gross. Sometimes Evelyn tended to forget that not everyone came from the Phoenix, where a thing like that would simply be insane. “Hey, cool, a map.” he continued, trying to flirt with Clarke. “They got a bar in this town? I'll buy you two ladies a beer.” he smirked, leaving Clarke flustered. Evelyn thought it was funny but Wells clearly didn’t agree. “You mind?” He snarled to Jasper, grabbing his arm. Evelyn knew the feelings Wells held for the blonde a bit too well, so she understood his reaction, as idiotic as it was, but before her or Clarke could stop him another boy jumped in the conversation, followed by a lot of other delinquents. 

“Hey, hey, hey, hands off him. He's with us.” He barked at Wells. 

Mop of brown hair with blue eyes. Crooked nose. Not give half a fuck attitude. Evelyn instantly recognized John Murphy, much to her annoyment. Their cells were on the same floor, so she often heard him fighting with the guards for whatever reason. Her father floated his a few years back for something Evelyn was too young to remember. 

He hated her. The feeling was very much reciprocated.

“Relax. We're just trying to figure out where we are." Wells replied, trying to sound calm. But Evelyn noticed how his eyes flickered to look at the crowd that was forming around them. He was scared. The girl sighed, knowing damn well that if it came down to a fight she would have his back. Every man for himself was just an utopia. "We're on the ground. That is not good enough for you?" Bellamy said from afar, making his way with Octavia towards the crowd. "Thanks captain obvious but I don't think that's what Wells ment." Evelyn replied, annoyed. Why couldn't anyone just mind their own fucking bussines, she thought. "Exactly." Wells responded, giving Evelyn a silent thank you which made her roll her eyes, "We need to find Mount Weather. You heard my father's message. That has to be our first priority." He announced.

Great, now that Jaha was brought into the conversation they were going to get beaten up for sure. Evelyn had read enough history books to know what happens to the aristocrats in the middle of riots. The crowd started whispering, worried that they weren't going to survive. What a bunch of sheeps. "Screw your father." Octavia retorted. "What, you think you're in charge here, you and your little Princesses?" Here comes another idiot, Evelyn thought. She had enough of this bullshit, "No one fucking cares about who is in charge. We need to get to Mount Weather not because the Chancellor said so, but because the longer we wait, the hungrier we'll get and the harder this'll be." She replied before she could even realize what she was saying. "Evelyn is right. How long do you think we'll last without those supplies? We're looking at a twenty-mile trek, okay? So if we want to get there before dark, we need to leave now." Clarke added, shooting the brunette a confused expression. "I got a better idea. You three go, find it for us. Let the privileged do the hard work for a change." Bellamy said, causing Evelyn to roll her eyes. That boy was seriously starting to get on her nerves. "You're not listening. We all need to go." Wells basically begged. The girl was tired of this dumb argument. It was her first day on Earth, she wasn't going to spend it with a group of imbeciles. But just as she was going away, someone pushed Wells from behind. 

"Look at this, everybody… The Chancellor of Earth." Murphy said.

As if her day couldn’t get even brighter.

The crowd immediately started cheering, clearly wanting the two of them to fight. Evelyn wasted no time jumping in the middle of the people, shoving a few guys that weren’t smart enough to let her pass away. 

“You think that's funny?” Wells spat as the other boy circled him.

Murphy pushed Wells, causing him to fall and twist his ankle. But he immediately got up, even though he was clearly hurt.

“No, but that was.” He said as he came closer to the stumbling boy.

“What kind of coward are you, jumping a single boy while you are what? Ten people?” Evelyn spat as she finally broke free from the crowd squeezing her, “Even a neanderthal like you should know that it isn’t right.” 

“No way, we even got the Vice. Did I miss the council memo?” Murphy barked, the crowd around him chuckling. 

“Step away.” The girl stood her ground, crossing her arms, “Or it will be two against ten, and I promise that I don't go easy.” 

The crowd started cheering and clapping. Evelyn caught a glimpse of Clarke’s disappointed expression among them. She had to fight the urge to scoff. The little princess could be as disappointed as she wanted, but it was Evelyn who stepped up to help a limping boy, not her. 

The promise of a good fight was just a bonus.

"Kid's got one leg. How about you wait until it's a fair fight?" Another boy jumped in, getting between Wells and the delinquent. Evelyn recognized him as the spacewalker who wasted a month's worth of oxygen. 

A thick silence shifted on the crowd but she didn't care. She shot Murphy a death glare and hurried by Wells’s side, trying to help him get away from the fight.

“C’mon, we don’t have all day.” The brunette hurried in a whisper as Wells stumbled behind her.

“Why did you do that?” He asked once they were far enough from the crowd.

“Survival. Now you owe me.” She explained with a stern tone as she looked around, “Sit.” She ordered once she saw a fallen log near them.

Wells wordlessy obeyed, “You’ll come with us to Mount Weather?” He asked once he had sitten down. 

“Absolutely no. That would be stupid.” Evelyn replied. 

“Why not? You even have a knife, most of us don’t.” He questioned.

“What?” Her brows furrowed in confusion, “I don’t have a knife.” 

“You do, it’s in your pocket I think. I could feel it while you dragged me away.” He explained with a shrug, “Hey I don’t care that you have it, y’know? It’s good.” But Evelyn wasn’t listening to him rambling, instead she reached her pocket and pulled out a shiny cold steel knife. Not one of those rusty boot knives she saw when she worked at the Walden, no, that was an expensive knife for sure. 

Evelyn was surprised that it didn’t impale her while she was on the drop ship. But how did it end up there? She was sure that she would have known if she was carrying around a knife. 

“Lyn!” A high pitched voice called from afar, snapping the brunette from her thoughts. Her head shot up to look at the source of the noise. A shot, scrawny girl was running towards her. Her hair was a light blonde collected in a ponytail with the usual braid in them. Evelyn was the one to teach her how to do it, because the rich girls in the Phoenix carried their hair like that. But while on their hair it looked elegant, in the girl’s crazy hair it just made her look even more juvenile. 

“Charlie!” Evelyn shouted as she got up, tucking her knife in her waistband and hiding it with her jacket. She turned out to look at Wells, her expression cold again as she brought her finger to her lips in a shushing motion. “You owe me.” She mouthed to him, making him nod.

The blonde had now reached them, her big blue eyes looking up at Evelyn as she held her in a crushing hug, “I thought they had floated you.” 

“Nah, they knew better.” The older girl shook her head as she looked down at her old roommate.

She didn’t know what having a sister meant, no one from the Ark except for the Blakes knew, but Charlie was her sister. Their bond was stronger than blood.

Suddenly everything shifted. It couldn’t be everyman for himself, because Charlie was there, which made her Evelyn’s responsibility. She was too young, too inexperienced to be out there with those brutus. Too naive, too kind. 

Evelyn pulled away to study her face, holding it in her fingers. There was a nasty cut on her forehead, probably due the abrupt landing, and she still looked sick. Her pale skin was sweaty and dark bags stood under her big eyes.

“We are okay now, we are together.” Evelyn reassured the young girl. 

Her eyes fell on Wells, who was watching her with a surprised expression. It must be weird to see that caring side of the Kane girl, she thought as she turned to him, “This is Charlie, she was in the same cell as me for a while.” She explained, “This is Wells, Jaha’s son.” She introduced to the young girl. 

“Hi.” The girl shyly waved from behind Evelyn as she blushed. A smirk grew on the brunette’s face as she shook her head.

Evelyn felt Charlie pulling her sleeve, and when she looked around to ask her what was wrong she noticed her pointing towards a figure coming towards them. Clarke.

“It’s okay, it’s just Clarke.” Evelyn assured the young girl. She didn’t handle crowds well, so it was quite a surprise how easily she bonded with the older girl.

“Hey.” Clarke greeted, “How’s your ankle?” She asked Wells.

Right, Evelyn thought, she had completely forgotten about his injury.

“Better.” Wells nodded, “So Mount Weather. When do we leave?" 

"Right now. We'll be back tomorrow with food." Clarke replied.

"Do you think you can stand up?" Evelyn asked Wells. 

Wells was like her brother before she got locked up, and even though they weren’t friends anymore she still worried for him sometimes.

"Yeah yeah, don't worry, I've got this." Wells said, giving her a small smile.

"Don't even think about it. You aren't coming." Clarke instructed, then turned to Evelyn, “Changed your mind?” The girl glanced at Charlie behind her. She could hunt for two, and Charlie was really smart, they didn’t need the Ark’s food, not anymore. 

“No, we are staying here, where it is safe.” She stated. 

“Safe? Have you seen those guys?” Finn nodded towards Bellamy’s pack, who was also eyeing them.

“You should really come, we need as many arms as we can.” Clarke ignored Finn’s comment, “We have to stick together.” 

“I think that we are both capable of making our decisions for ourselves, thank you." Evelyn replied and she felt Charlie shift on her feet behind her. If there was one thing that Evelyn definitely didn't need was following someone else's orders. "We'll need more people." Clarke said, ignoring Evelyn’s comment. 

She knew that her and the brunette weren't exactly friends anymore, but she didn't expect her to be so hostile. It hurted a bit, but Evelyn wasn’t nice to anyone so Clarke didn’t take it too personally. 

Finn grabbed Monty and Jasper and turned back to Clarke "Four of us. Can we go now?"

"Sounds like a party. Make it five." Octavia said as she got close to the group. 

Great, Evelyn thought, now what was next? The other Blake?

“Hey, what the hell do you think you are doing?” 

Speak of the devil…

“Going for a walk.” Octavia shrugged.

Evelyn had to admit that she liked her style, if only she wasn’t Bellamy’s sister she would actually find her tolerable.

“Hey, were you trying to take this off?” Clarke’s voice snapped her back from the siblings’ discussion. 

“Yeah, so?” Finn asked as he fidgeted with the wristband on his arm. A piece of metal was missing and there were a few scratches on it.

Evelyn didn’t think anything about it. Maybe it was to locate them or something, but she doubted that the people up there cared enough to know where their dear lab rats went.

“So this wristband transmits your vital signs to The Ark. Take it off, and they'll think you're dead.” Clarke replied.

Of course, that was why. They needed data to go on with their little experiment. An idea came in the back of Evelyn’s mind. She also had a wristband. And a knife. And an asshole father that was for sure watching those monitors.

“Should I care?” Finn asked. 

“Well, I don't know. Do you want the people you love to think you're dead? Do you want them to follow you down here in two months? Because they won't if they think we're dying.” The blonde replied one last time before turning her back at him and focussing on Wells’s ankle one last time.

Would her father care if she died? Evelyn doubted it. He probably had an expensive bottle of liquor hidden somewhere for when she finally decided to snuff it. 

"Ok then let's go." Clarke said.

“Wait.” A voice called from behind her, “I want to come too.” Charlie spoke for the first time.

Evelyn turned around to face the young girl, “No you don’t.” 

“I do.” Charlie’s voice didn’t quiver as she raised her chin, “I want to go. I want to be useful.” 

“You are already useful.” The brunette insisted, “You can’t go there, what if…” She lowered her voice, “What if you have another crisis?” She whispered so that only the other girl could hear her.

“I don’t want to sit here and wait for the Ark to save us, knowing that I didn’t help.” Charlie said, “I don’t want to be like that for my whole life. Afraid.” 

Evelyn studied the girl for a few moments, but she knew deep down that there was no way she could convince her. It wouldn’t be fair. This was also her space odyssey, she deserved to see the world.

“Be careful.” She said as she placed a hand on Charlie’s shoulder.” The blonde threw herself in the older girl’s arms, “Thank you.” She mumbled.

Evelyn just nodded, “Don’t trust anyone. Stay with Clarke. Don’t be a hero. Eat what they eat.” She whispered as she held the girl close, “Your life is more worthy than theirs. Come back alive. Whatever it takes.”

She could feel Charlie shake a bit in her arms, but Evelyn had to let her know those things. If she was there she would put her and Charlie’s lifes first, even if it meant letting the others fend for themself.

So she watched the group disappear in the woods, biting her lip. Clarke turned around for one second to glance at the brunette, and for a second she thought that she smiled, but it was probably her imagination.

The last thing she felt was another pair of eyes fixed on her as she made her way back to the dropship. She glanced towards the margin of the forest and her eyes met Bellamy’s curious ones. He smirked at her and she rolled her eyes before completely disappearing inside the ship.