#she smiles so much in this episode literally the amount of times everyone else is like :| while daya is :D

[graciereyy]

The Siren And The Samurai Chapter 2

THIS HAPPENS AFTER THE EVENTS OF THE LAST EPISODE THERE MANY BE SPOILERS BE ADVISED

*warning! This will have alot of possibly triggering stuff just like the actual show so be advised.*

A bell was intruding the sleep of everyone on board, everyone had their own complaints, grunts, and fuss about it. While she also had her complaints, Mizu was actually looking forward to finding out who that ‘siren’ person was. Maybe she could get important information out of them? But first she wanted to try the food, she summed up her amount of coins, occasionally stopping to glare at fowler. He opened his mouth to mock her but was cut off by an eye roll and a purposefully harsh exhale.

She locked eyes with him for a quick second then quickly sped up the stairs before he could say anything. When she stepped foot outside she was finally hit with the “totally sweet” smell of London. She scrunched her nose in disgust and tried to power through it best she could. “It smells atrocious out here…” that comment from her caught a laugh from the leading boater.

“Yeah, its London! Of course it smells like shit and smoke.” She didn’t know what else to say to that other then just stare at him. She just sighed and started walking away from the port.

Not too far away from the plaza place was a little string of shops and stalls, Mizu inspected each one and found the one she liked, But before she could do anything there was commotion at the plaza, and Mizu wasn’t going to forfeit this chance. She passed through the crowd progressing her way to the stage.

This time there were more people waiting for them than booing them than last night, and one thing Mizu noticed was that most of their fans were women while most of the people booing were men; A little strange.

Then ‘the siren’ appeared. Something was familiar about them.. then it clicked. It was her. It was the girl, the strange girl from last night. She looked so pleased with herself even though the townspeople didn’t like her much, Mizu had a sort of respect for her for that. When she started to sing it was so different then how others described english music, then she heard what the antis were saying about it..

‘Rebel music’ and ‘Siren hex ’ even ‘ Witch Trance’

Then the lyrics.. of the song, it was so familiar to her past.. literally described her. She sung it so beautifully and the emotion in it almost made her cry. She was so in awe by the song she blocked out everything else even unintentionally getting closer to the stage.

“Thats why i call her Little Miss Blue.” The girl sung out like a songbird. When the applause erupted she gave them all a curtsy and sweetly smiled at them. She was quick to get off stage and run off but Mizu was quick to go after her. The girl noticed Mizu quickly and fear settled in her. She turned corners sharp trying to escape her follower, that ended when she was backed up into a dead-end.

The girl scouted something to defend herself with but came up empty handed. “O-okay!” She stuttered out nervously. “What do you want.?! Whats your deal??”

“Im just curious. I have some questions.” Mizu told her.The girl tilted her head in confusion.

“Tell me…”

Mizu licked her lips. “Okay, about the song.” She stared at her and gestured for mizu to elaborate. “Whats it mean? Whats it about?” She sighed.

“Its about a bounty..” she sighed then she realized. “Oh wait its you..” That caught mizu off guard. “Your ‘Little Miss Blue.’” She smiled looking like she was about to cry.

“The songs about me?” The girl giggled.

“Sound familiar?” She said proudly.

“Okay, whats your name?”

“Gracie, Gracie rey.”

“Okay look we need to go talk somewhere more private, because i have more questions.”

“Thats fine i know where to go.”

“Wheres that?”

“My flat, you can stay if you want, don’t torture yourself in that boat and don’t waste your money” she laughed. Mizu sighed.

“Okay fine but you try anything im going to kill you.” She said.

“Understandable.” She said at the empty threat. Gracie guided her to the flat. Mizu slightly flinched seeing it, it was in rough..shape. But people didn’t like her and that’s all she had, hey atleast she had shelter. The inside actually looked better than the outside, it looked cozy and sweet. It was styled with cute decorations, matching Gracie’s aesthetic. She pat a chair for her to sit down then sat in the one across.

“Okay so, why are you called ‘the siren?’” Mizu asked, unintentionally causing the girl to slightly flinch in disbelief.

“Please don’t actually call me that, men call me that as an insult because they claim i try to lure them in.” She paused for a moment to take a breath and calm herself. “But thats the exact opposite of what im trying to do.”

“Then what are you trying to do?”

“Don’t laugh please” she breathed out.

“I wont, i swear.”

“People usually laugh in my face when i tell them this because they think im too sensitive and too weak to lead, but im trying to start a rebellion.”

“Why?”

“Get to know me more and i’ll trust you enough to tell you.” Mizu nodded in understanding then Gracie got up and fixed a decoration on the fireplace. “Ever since i was a kid i never understood people’s way of thinking..” her venting caught Mizu’s attention. She breathed deeply before continuing. “ When i was 13 i heard about you, a man came back from japan and was literally bragging to my family about a blue eyed mixed race adolescent in japan that they are looking for. Everyone was disgusted by the thought of you but i didn’t understand why. So i stood up for you, and boy.” Gracie chuckled but Mizu didn’t open her mouth yet. “Then they called me a rebel. A siren, a demon just like they thought you were but i know neither of us actually are, they just project their biggest fears onto us which is themselves. Your not an onryo, Mizu. I think your eyes are beautiful.” She wiped a stray tear of her cheek. Then headed for her room. Mizu was glad she finally had someone who actually cared for her and was on her side but she didn’t know what to say or do. She needed time, time to process everything, her emotions and Gracie’s thoughts.

[graciehart]

Top 5 Jisbon scenes from each season !! 💚💙

fkdajf;ja;fa thanks for asking me this 😭 I've been so excited about this and I love that you gave me 35 chances LOL (and I'll still agonize over leaving out some)

it's going under a read more because this is gonna be loooooong hehe

——————————————————— 🍦

Season One

1x04 Lisbon teasing Jane — EPISODE!! FOUR!!!!!! I love how she teases him and he just looks back with such a soft smile and she's looking at him and fdkjakf;ja;a gaaaaaahhhhh

1x10 the Truth — This scene is so so so so personal (the whole episode, really) because of my own experience being hospitalized. And all the emotions! The way they look at each other! AAAAH!

1x17 trust fall — I've tried doing trust falls before and have never been able to do it, so the fact that Jane and Lisbon/Simon and Robin can do it? The TRUST!! But also it's the way he's so upset she doesn't trust him and the way he lowers himself to look her in the eye and she can see it's so important to him that she do the trust fall so she gives in!!

1x19 what are you thinking? — This has always been one of my favorite scenes because they just make eyes at each other for literally 30 seconds???? 30 seconds is a significant amount of time for a show!! And she finally gives in and asks him what he's thinking and 😭

1x23 choosing life — Lisbon telling Jane that people need him, Jane saying he should've been dead so that they could get Red John AND THEN SHOOTING THEIR ONLY LEAD to save Lisbon. All of it. SOOOO important. He chooses life, over and over and over. And he chooses her life, over and over and over.

also I just have to mention them in the rain. they are holding. hands. come ON.

Season Two

2x03 tears — Honestly all of this episode, but it's so heartbreaking the way she's trying to hide it and he notices and you see him soften. Like he's always loving with Lisbon but he becomes so gentle when he sees how upset she is. Also the end scene is so cute ("hush!" and Jane peeking back in 😭)

2x06 prison visit — The "I can just hit you with my chair" "I think you'll find it's bolted to the flooooor" exchange is just so them and I really love it LOL

2x09 tiara — Another scene that is just so them. The way she just ignores him, the way he dresses her up... it's such a sweet little moment.

2x11 dance — Listen. I've danced with people before and I have never wanted to be that close to them. It is so unnecessary how tight she's holding him AND YET!!!! Like she's fully resting on him!! GOD!!!! (Also the Caskett parallel 😭)

2x16 if I were dying... — Okay, I have mixed feelings on the whole situation because yeah, he shouldn't have lied, but the way she's so surprised and touched that he wanted to call her (whereas it's obvious to literally everyone else). I wish he had been able to answer and tell her what he would've said... although it probably wouldn't have been the truth

Season Three

3x01 sheep dip — Everything about this little clip. The way Jane turns the tv on over and over. The way Lisbon gets frustrated with him. The way Jane mimics her. It's just so good and I always laugh when I see it.

3x08 crime scene — When Lisbon makes that comment about "if Jane were here, he'd make some snarky remark." Like... the way they influence each other! The way she knows what he'd be doing! The way you know she's missing him and worried about him! Also Lisbon knowing they're his family.

3x12 IT WAS A RHETORICAL QUESTION — Idk why but this has always been one of my favorites, like her exasperation just makes me laugh so much! But this whole episode is so fun, like when he makes fun of the rhyming/rhythm 😂

3x19 ...she was — I love Lisbon watching Jane's tape. I love that it's something I'd expect Jane to do and not necessarily Lisbon and I love the way it can apply to Lisbon as well... but also the "she was" absolutely destroys me every time.

3x23 bomb — There are lots of moments in this episode I want to mention (the dress!!!! angry little princess!!!!) but I think Jane finding Lisbon is my favorite because it shows how much she trusts him. And I love that she tells him she doesn't need him to come but he eventually needs to check on her 🥺

also I just have to shoutout the pocket rocket introduction because it's just sooooo funny the way he says that right after introducing Rigsby so plainly

Season Four

I've basically decided I'm not stopping at five because season four is one of my favorites lolol

4x01 picking Jane up — I just... I love that Lisbon is waiting for him. I love the way they look at each other. I love that Lisbon is literally injured and still picks him up.

4x09 ice cream — they're so 😭

4x10 saving Jane — This is honestly one of my favorite scenes of the whole series. The way she drops the flashlight and just sprints in (think about how FREEZING she must have been, the water was cold and then after she was wet and it was night), the way she's crying, the way she's saying "please..." and the fact that she's his most important person, the person they ask these questions to... AAAGH (also the way he tugs on her jacket when he asks what her name is in the hospital)

4x10 other scenes — Her calling him Paddy 😭 Sitting by the lake 😭 The hospital scenes and then when she challenges him and says "take a drive with me" (also it literally made me spiral thinking about how many places they drive together because I know how far apart these cities are and like... THEY SPEND SO MUCH TIME TOGETHER)

4x15 in the car — I laugh EVERY. TIME. At how she can't just let them go, she has to get in herself, how she just shoves Jane to the side... I love that scene. I love jealous Lisbon so much (I love jealousy in my characters, it's just so funny...)

4x17 I missed you — ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!! (also that one tmsource set that is like them after being apart for like... a day)

4x18 tiger — It's just such a cute moment, I can't not mention it.

4x20 pervy perv perv — the way she's called to pick him up, then the way he says pervy perv perv, the way she says that is "profoundly" illegal, and then at the end when he wants to keep it quiet and in the most petty way possible, Lisbon goes, "no." I love this whole episode, it's so funny. I love that she's amused by him joining the play. She's come to just adore all those annoying, pain-in-the-ass things about him <3

4x20 ending — Lisbon is the only one who hears the pain in Jane's voice and she looks up and watches him walk away and I just 😭

4x24 — I'm not even gonna specify for the heading lol this whole episode is insane!! HAND. HOLDING. HAND HOLDING!!!! "Love you." ???? But mainly the church scene. It's so beautiful and also so funny ("I hate you Jane. I HATE YOU." and "okay we are in a church."). When Lisbon says "I have not been sleeping, I've been—" like you can tell how much she cares about him and how worried she is and I love how the rest of the team knows too and are careful about it with her.

Season Five

this has devolved into me not narrowing down... makes me want to go back and add to the other sections... but I won't... lol I truly am trying to keep it to five but some I just have to do more.

5x01 car ride — Okay, I say car ride, but this whole episode I love. I love how jealous Lisbon is. I forgot how mad she is until I went back and rewatched it and it's just... so funny how angry she is. I love her so much, she's so unaware 😭 Also the car conversation. Them dancing around the topic and Jane making fun when she hints at it. GAH

5x02 hospital — it's the way she just automatically goes with Jane. But also them being silly together 😭

5x08 car crash — Lisbon is SO. SOFT. The way you can see how worried she is. The way her voice is so gentle and soft. The way she comforts him. GOD I DIE

5x12 Lisbon's office — The way Jane just automatically sits down and stays with her and helps. The way they know each other so well.

5x13 partners — Another all-time favorite. The way he pulls her in and the way she's so upset and the way he has such a soft spot for her 😭

5x14 poker — I love the way Jane teases her (and that it's Simon and Robin playing). I love these moments of their friendship and all the time they spend together.

5x17 Kansas City — fkjda;fja I just. They're so. I can't. The way Jane smiles at Lisbon as she's singing and how Lisbon forgets herself for a moment. I can't!!!!

5x20 I need you — It's the way he hears it and immediately comes. The way she admits it. How happy and reassured she is when he comes because she knows that she's important, she's his person. (Also I know you love this episode so I don't need to tell you why I think of so many other scenes to include too!)

Season Six

6x02 cleaning Lisbon's face — I mean, the whole thing, but the way he just runs out and is shouting that he needs water, that's the most important thing, and then he cleans up her face... knowing what that must have been like for him... fjdajf;a my heart is exploding.

6x06 saying goodbye — This one's pretty self-explanatory. It's painful but also so important.

6x07 in the hospital — Her saying she wants to stay with Jane 😭 The fact that she would never be anywhere else. GAH

6x08 phone call — Again, all of the episode, but especially the phone call. I love that she has the recording, I love that all he wants is to talk to her (if I were dying I'd want to call you...) and I just... gahhhh.

6x09 Jane's letters — It hurts my heart, but it's so important to me. The fact that he writes her all those letters. That she has a special box for them. That she takes it out like a treat and reads it and is comforted by it. Lisbon's life is so clearly lonely in 6x09 and it breaks my heart and I just love her so much... and it truly does not seem like she dates anyone or anything like that in those two years. She reads the letters and holds onto them and she can't send anything back but the fact that he sees so many things to remind him of her... I could go on and on.

6x09 hug — Her voice is soooo soft when she says "I missed you too" and also she's literally smushed into him!!!! The "nice beard" comment!! The way they hold each other so tight!!! GAH!!!!

6x16 blanket — I have such mixed feelings about 6x16... but I love so much of it. I love that she looks at him and smiles and puts the blanket over him.

literally all of Blue Bird, of course.

Season Seven

I'm excluding "White Orchids" because I'm pretty sure it would be my whole top five. And I'm going to try to keep it to five... gaaaah.

7x06 gift — She kept the pieces. She. Kept. The. Pieces. She put it back together. I think she looked at it and held it and maybe even used it when she missed Jane. She held onto it until it was right to give it back to him. His love language is gifts too so you can see it means so much to him. (Also, again, my love language, so I melt)

7x07 — I know it's cheating but... like... all of their scenes. I love that he asks her if she wants him to come and I love that she wants him to come. I love that her first "I love you" is so her. I love that Jane immediately goes to her old room. I love their talk in the trailer.

7x08 come to bed — I mean. As much as I wish we had like ooooone bedroom scene, I love that we see them in bed together multiple times. It's just so sweet and so significant that Jane is in pajamas and in a bed. Ugh. I can't.

7x09 conversation — I love that this is Lisbon's first casual "I love you." I love that she's stroking his arm the whole time. I love how hard it is for him to say what's going on but that he does it anyway. I just love it so much.

7x12 ring — I love that Lisbon asks about the ring because she's the only person who really can ask about it, but then she apologizes later because she realizes she shouldn't have asked about it (which is exactly why she's the one who's allowed to ask). I love how Tork's comment is what makes her apologize, and I love how protective she is. The way she instinctively straightens up when he starts talking, the way she angrily goes after him and says "yeah, the wife and kid." The way it sort of stops her in her tracks when she thinks about what the wedding ring means for Jane. And then I have to just mention the way she says "don't you ever do that to me again ever" after she got so mad at Jane for not wanting to lose her/interfering with her job. The way she interrogates and says "I don't think you understand how important this is to me" and how much you can see Jane has influenced her. How Jane is more important to her. How fiercely she loves him and is afraid of losing him, the way you just see it so plainly.

okay... that was a lot and I know I left out a bunch, but I really did try to keep it to 5 (mostly). Anyway. I look forward to your comments as always! <3 Thanks for letting me cry about them! (also I think I literally spent over an hour writing this fkjdkal;fj;)

[mythica0]

So I was messing around with the Headcanon generator with Fop anw Characters + OC’s and took screenshots of my favorites (either cause they make so much sense, I think are really neat, or are hilarious.) here they are and some thoughts on them below the cut(quotes are the HC’s. Non quotes are relating thoughts) different characters have different amounts of HC’s both because some of them had more that I liked pop up and also I’m obsessed with some more than others lol.

-“If Hazel likes someone, she will give them a pretty rock” considering she is obsessed with rocks, this is just facts. She would also probably yap about the rocks origins and other stuff.

-“Dev is a very good singer” I love this idea. That Dev is great at singing and loves to do so when alone but is super embarrassed about it around other people. (Maybe because his dad told him that it was annoying and to stop. So now he sees it as forbidden) so he absolutely will not preform for an audience.

-“if the source media were a musical, Dev would be the one asking why everyone’s singing” considering the above, I find this amusing. Especially due to my OC fan episode where Emma wishes that life was a musical. I can just see dev all confused like ‘why in the world is everyone singing???’

-“Dev believes in ghosts and insists on trying to summon one at every sleepover.” I thought this one funny cause this literally happened in canon.

-“Winn uses the word ‘like’ as a comma” considering their cool-guy(gender neutral) persona, it makes sense that they would use like a lot.

-“Winn tells dad jokes” Idk why but I like this idea. Winn telling dad jokes and Hazel laughing and Jazz groaning. I just thought it was neat :3

-“Jazz is a great artist” in addition to music I think that Jazz would like to draw as well. Especially abstract art and patterns.

-“Jazz is afraid to close their eyes in the shower” Considering her being a fraidy-cat was a whole plot point, I thought this was amusing.

-“Cosmo tells dad jokes” He’s a father. And A very silly guy. Obviously he tells dad jokes.

-“Wanda has a very low alcohol tolerance.” I think it would be funny if Cosmo and Wanda were at some fairy gathering and Wanda had like 1/4 of a beer and is all drunk and Cosmo has to make sure she’s okay.

-“Peri is the gay cousin” idk if he’s anyone’s cousin cause I never saw the og series but this man is not straight

-“peri was dropped out of a window as a child” again, never saw the og series but I know he was dropped multiple times so this might as well be canon

-“peri is smart but also very stupid” he gets it from his mom <3.

-“Peri can’t sit in a chair properly.” This twink does NOT sit in chairs like a normal person. He be laying across the chair in the wildest way you can think of

-“Peri is a horrible liar” my boy caNOT lie. It is immediately obvious whenever he tries. He gets all nervous and stutters abunch. And won’t make eye contact.

-“Ray has a diary that they write in with glittery gel pen” CANON CAUSE I SAID SO. It’s all good things. She writes about her day and how she or someone else she saw improved the world or someone’s day. She writes Everytime she made someone smile, every kind act she witnessed, every cute animal she fawned over. If you read her diary you’re gonna be flooded with the overwhelming positivity that is her mind.

-“Ray sings in the shower” She loves to sing cause music is a way to spread joy. She would absolutely be singing pop songs and positive vibes songs only. I’m thinking trolls songs and MLP songs about friendship, love and happiness.

-“Ray is not allowed to drink energy drinks.” Do you KNOW how energetic this woman is 24/7? If she had an energy drink she would probably explode. Sometimes she’ll see Yar drinking one and be like ‘hey can I have some,looks like it tastes good!’ And Yar holds it away from her and says ‘absolutely not’

-“Ray always has half a watermelon on them” her favorite fruit is watermelon, and she likes to share! So she just keeps half a watermelon on her at all times.

-“Ray doesn’t know how to say ‘no’” as I’ve said before, MASSIVE people pleaser. She refuses to say no to someone no matter how much work she has to do or how many favors she’s already committed herself to. And the thing is, she is genuinely happy to do it anyway. She isn’t like stressed out and feels like garbage but says yes anyway because she feels bad, she just loves helping people. Both Yar and Cosmo/Wanda have to look after her and make sure she doesn’t take on too much and destroy her body.

-“if Ray was presented with an intergalactic portal, they would enter it without question.” She’s a big fan of adventure and so much of an optimist, that the idea that something might go wrong or that there’s something bad on the other side doesn’t even cross her mind. She just sees something fun to do.

-“Ray is constantly singing for no reason” She likes to sing joyful tunes of what she’s doing. She’s the type to wake up and sing a designated good morning song to the whole neighborhood. She starts her day by opening her window and loudly singing ‘good morning~~’ to everyone around.

-“Ray tells dad jokes” She loves to make people happy and laugh, and loves humour and all things relating to joy, so of course she tells dad jokes at every opportunity. She’s always ecstatic when someone actually laughs at her dumb jokes. (Especially Yar. She secretly finds them hilarious) also, because we’ve already established that Winn and Cosmo also tell dad jokes, the three of them would have friendly dad-joke competitions where they tell eachother their best dad jokes and try to see who has the best one.

-“Ray knocks people over by hugging them” Once again, CANON. Especially when Yar comes to visit. She will absolutely tackle you into a hug anytime you show up. As long as you’re comfortable with touch, that is

-“Yar sleeps in until noon” This gal is SLEEPY. She’s the opposite of Ray, so instead of being full of energy, she lacks it almost entirely.

-“Yar forgets to eat sometimes” as a chronically depressed Anti-fairy, she will often times forgo eating and just rot in bed. If she’s having a bad episode Ray will come and check on her and make sure she eats and drinks enough water.

-“Yar bites their nails” It’s a habit that she has. Especially when she’s nervous or particularly upset.

-“Yar has chronic nightmares” Again, Ray and Yar are opposites. Ray’s head is full of nothing but sunshine and rainbows, even in sleep, whereas Yar’d head is full of sorrow, Trauma and Fear, resulting in nightmares every single night. (And yet she still prefers being asleep over being awake) most of her nightmares are more sad than scary, however.

-“Emma sings in the shower” again, based on me, so obviously she sings in the shower. She listens to a wide variety of music.

-“Emma doesn’t own a single pair of matching socks.” She finds that mismatching is more fun. Also she doesn’t care about fashion or what other people think of her, so she makes it obvious

-“Emma cries while watching Disney movies” Very emotional, this one. Cries at every Disney movie, whether it be sad or happy tears.

-“Emma tells dad jokes” We’ve been over this with the other three. She’s a fan of dad jokes, more specifically puns. Because again- based on me. She doesn’t usually partake in the dad joke battles, purely because she would rather be the judge.

-“Emma is constantly singing for no reason.” Once again, based on me, so there’s that. There’s also the fact that she literally wished for life to be a musical for a day.

-“Emma is a theatre kid” Speaking of which- big fan of musicals! Especially animated ones. She loves to act and is very dramatic. Very much a drama queen.

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And that’s all I got! Hope you enjoyyeeeeeedd

[the-one-where-casey-watches-tv]

Friends episode 1.11 "The One With Mrs. Bing"

A quality I’ve been noticing a lot lately in content that I enjoy is an intimacy between artist and audience. The illusion that we really truly know these people with a certain amount of depth is what hooks us. It’s the thing that creates fandoms and births groupies, but it’s also the reason we buy concert tickets and make a standing appointment with our favorite shows. And I’d even go so far as to say that that intimacy isn’t an illusion. If someone really is pouring themselves into their work, and they’re good at it, I think anyone who’s there to see it will probably have an important understanding of that person. So, your favorite artists may not know you, but you do know them.

I think that’s why Chandler resonated with people so strongly. I may be biased, but I also spent a lot of time in the Friends fandom, and he really was the fan favorite. The entire cast was of course a strong ensemble who made their characters their own, but I don’t think any of them identified with their role as much as Matthew Perry. He says in his memoir that he was Chandler and Chandler was him, but I think we knew that already. Everything from his clothes to the cadence of his speech is instantly identifiable, funny, endearing, and real.

Matthew Perry and Matt LeBlanc in "The One With Mrs. Bing".

My favorite episodes of Friends (and of most comedies) are the ones that get as close to drama as a sitcom can get, and I’ve noticed that Chandler is almost always at the center of the show’s most emotional moments. When Chandler kisses Joey’s sister, his repentance is so sincere. When Chandler finally admits his love for Monica, tears of laughter turn to tears of endearment in a literal split second; Ross and Rachel make you say, “oh my God”, Monica and Chandler make you say “awwww”.

And as early as season one, a sole episode featuring Chandler’s mom carries more depth and character development than a decade with the Gellers. Chandler’s mother, Nora Bing, is a bestselling erotica novelist. She’s introduced in this episode as the gang forces a begrudging Chandler to watch Nora’s appearance on Jay Leno. Two episodes prior, we heard Chandler’s first recounting of his Thanksgiving horrors (we’ll come to be very familiar with the tale): at nine years old, Chandler’s parents sat him down at the end of Thanksgiving dinner and told him they were getting a divorce- his father is having an affair with the pool boy.

Right after admitting on national TV that sex makes her crave Kung Pao Chicken, Nora excitedly tells Leno that she’s heading to New York tomorrow and will get to see her son. Chandler declares, without surprise, “And this is how I find out. Most moms use the phone.” Seconds later, Nora is explaining the depths of her love for her son by stating that she bought him his first condoms. Summing up how every parent makes their kid feel, though probably not to this extent, Chandler says: “And then he burst into flames.”

Matthew Perry, Courteney Cox, David Schwimmer, Lisa Kudrow, and Jennifer Aniston in "The One With Mrs. Bing".

In one short, funny scene we understand a surprising number of layers to Chandler’s character. Nora was sincere when stating her love and excitement about seeing her son. Ross- the only one who knows her- declared that he loves Chandler’s mom. Rachel gushed that she is a huge fan of Nora’s books. Despite their bizarre dynamic, Chandler has to endure everyone else loving his mom and telling him to relax, something he really does try to do.

He brings the whole gang out to dinner with his mom- including Paolo, which is generous of Nora.

NORA: I am famished… what do I want?

CHANDLER: Please God don’t let it be Kung Pao Chicken.

NORA: Oh, you watched the show! What’d you think?

CHANDLER: Well, I think you need to come out of your shell juuuust a little.

But he says it all with a smile, dropping a kiss on his mom’s cheek. And then hops right on board as she orders tequila shots for the whole table. It’s a strange dynamic, and a comical one, but also one that now feels real. Matthew Perry’s performance turns this punchline of a premise into something more: what would a person with this upbringing really be like?

Matthew Perry and Morgan Fairchild in "The One With Mrs. Bing".

Towards the end of dinner, Ross has gotten good and drunk on Nora’s tab. Rachel and Paolo are driving him up the wall. He runs into Nora after coming out of the bathroom- the women’s bathroom, he realizes, when a woman steps out a few seconds after him. He’s down, out of it, and Nora knows it’s about Rachel. She comforts him, promising that Paolo isn’t the kind of character that sticks around. Rachel will be turning to him in no time.

This seems to help, but suddenly the two are leaning into each other, kissing a real kiss. And who’s headed for the bathroom now but Joey, who sees them and stammers in shock that he’s gonna go pee in the street. Ross and Nora separate and sigh that sigh that’s old sitcom speak for “fuck”.

David Schwimmer and Morgan Fairchild in "The One With Mrs. Bing".

The next day, Ross tries to get away with never telling Chandler what happened. Joey hasn’t told him, but he tells Ross that he has to- and takes offense to the suggestion that his own mom isn’t as tempting as Nora Bing (“I’ll have you know that Gloria Tribbiani was a very handsome woman in her day, alright? You think it’s easy giving birth to seven children?”).

Ross at first tries to claim that Paolo kissed his mom, which has Chandler in enough shock already, but finally Ross exclaims that it was him, getting real anger out of Chandler. “You know, of all my friends, no one knows the crap I go through with my mom more than you.” Ross tries to apologize, but Chandler leaves, slamming the door.

Later, at Central Perk, Ross tries again:

ROSS: Chandler, can I just say something? I know you’re still mad at me, I just wanna say that there were two people there that night. Okay? Two sets of lips.

CHANDLER: Yes, well, I expect this from her. She’s always been a Freudian nightmare.

ROSS: Okay, well, if she always behaves like this, why don’t you say something?

CHANDLER: Because it’s complicated. It’s complex- hey, you kissed my mom!

Other coffee drinkers turn to look. Ross declares to the coffee house that they’re rehearsing a Greek play. Typically the kind of joke Chandler himself would make, he doesn’t even crack a smile.

CHANDLER: That’s very funny. We done now?

ROSS: No! You mean you’re not gonna talk to her? You’re not gonna tell her how you feel?

CHANDLER: That would be a no. Look, just because you played tonsil tennis with my mom doesn’t mean you know her. Alright? Trust me, you can’t talk to her.

Chandler then comes close to breaking Ross’s finger, but even if he’s not admitting it now, Ross has said something significant. While it’s the biggest betrayal coming from Ross, this isn’t an isolated incident on Nora’s part. It’s a not-so-funny symptom of the overarching mother/son dynamic that has been comically displayed until now.

Matthew Perry and David Schwimmer in "The One With Mrs. Bing".

Back up at the apartment, Chandler is saying his goodbyes to Nora. She brought copies of her book for the rest of the gang and asks if Chandler wants anything from Lisbon. On the surface, they have a playful banter, and he takes things in stride. But finally, as she’s walking out the door, he stops holding it in: “You kissed my best Ross! … or something to that effect.”

She knows it’s not good. She steps back inside and gently closes the door. She apologizes, they agree that it was stupid, and she promises it’ll never happen again. And when she asks if they’re okay now, he starts to say yes… but then he says no. The kiss got his attention, but it’s the tip of the iceberg.

In the hallway, Ross approaches to find Joey listening at the door. We can hear Chandler and Nora’s muted yelling. Excitedly, Joey says “He did it! He told her off, and not just about the kiss, about everything!” They’re good friends, honestly. They give him grief and find Nora fun, but clearly Ross isn’t the only one who knows there’s more to the story.

Then, the screaming match is over and Chandler walks Nora down the hall. She asks if he’s okay and he says yes. She kisses his cheek, and after a formal “Mrs. Bing”, “Mr. Geller” between her and Ross, she’s gone. And Chandler and Ross are alone.

CHANDLER: Hey.

ROSS: You mean that?

CHANDLER: Yeah, why not. I told her.

ROSS: Yeah? How’d it go?

CHANDLER: Awful. Awful. Couldn’t have gone worse.

ROSS: Well, how do you feel?

CHANDLER: Pretty good! I told her.

The two shake hands, and Chandler smiles big, throwing an arm over Ross’s shoulder.

Chandler has the zaniest backstory of the group (except for maybe Phoebe), yet he’s somehow the most whole, the most down to earth. You can connect the dots between the life story that exists off screen and the choices he makes in front of us. And could you even fathom anyone else playing Chandler Bing?

Matthew Perry in "The One With Mrs. Bing".

There was just something special there. Matthew Perry had that “x factor”, as they say, although I think that x factor really is the ability to make strangers feel like they know you. He did it everywhere, and I think we all really liked the guy we got to know. If, like me, you’re looking to watch the best of Chandler Bing in the wake of Matthew’s passing, here are some others to add to your queue: episode 2.03 “The One Where Heckles Dies”, episode 4.08 “The One With Chandler in a Box”, and episode 5.14 “The One Where Everybody Finds Out”.

Among many other things, I also highly recommend his book Friends, Lovers, and the Big, Terrible Thing, his movie The Whole Nine Yards, and his show Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, which I’ll be back here with sometime soon. And if you’re having any Matthew Perry related thoughts or feelings, I’d love to hear about them! This one is very close to my heart.

[forensicated]

Smiffina Episodes - Episode 426

Smithy's feeling a bit rough after the night before, not just because of the amount of alcohol he put away but also incase anyone saw and is now gossiping about him and Kezia. "Someone's been a naughty boy...." "What's that supposed to mean?" "... Just... you had a bit too much to drink?"

Smithy and Reg are called to the front garden of a rather irritated woman who has been waiting 'all night!!!' for someone to come and remove a scooter from her garden. Imagine the waiting times now, love! You'd never get a copper out in the first place! She's absolutely furious when Smithy refuses to remove it or let her have it removed because there's blood on it and he wants to get it forensicated. "How long will this... CSE... person take?" "Hopefully within the next 6 hours." Reg smiles helpfully. By the time Smithy and Reg get to the Super Special Briefing by the new superintendent, she has already called the station to make a complaint about them.

Smithy quite literally bumps into Kezia and asks her if she's alright - she says yes and walks off. Gina looks both amused and intrigued. "Not the answer you were expecting?" She asks. "... Not after last night, no." "That sounds like it comes with a story attached and I am all ears!" She says, literally grabbing hold of his back so he can't escape. Smithy sighs and tells her - discreetly - about the kiss and he's confused as she couldn't even smile at him that morning. Gina suggests she's playing hard to get.

John pulls a special middle of the day briefing where he essentially tells the relief they're not doing their jobs. Smithy stands up for his staff and John questions how, if he's so sure they're doing their best, has he already had a complaint made that day by the scooter woman? Reg points out they've followed procedure and there's not a lot else they can do. John insists there's always more they can do! Perhaps they can pull more funding out of their arse? Train a few CSE examiners on their lunchtimes? Charm an irritable cow who was going to complain no matter what because it wasn't what she wanted to hear? And even if it had been, it wasn't done the second she first telephoned! He wants them to make more arrests to bump the figures up and everyone has to have made at least one arrest by the end of the day. Even for things as small as littering and spitting in the street.

Smithy asks Kezia if she's embarrassed that they kissed last night because she appears to have been avoiding him. Kezia couldn't even remember it happening, telling him it happens a lot when she gets drunk. She assures him she wasn't ignoring him or avoiding him - she just didn't remember.

Mickey questions Smithy about the scooter he and Reg had been called to that morning as he thinks he has a link to where it has come from and what it was used for. Smithy explains what happened and tells him where it is. "Make sure you smile at her or she'll be on the phone to the IPCC, mate!"

It's ok though, cos she's quite fond of Mickey after he potentially saves her from being shot by the injured driver hiding in her shed (with a toy gun!)

[imsosocold]

A very (un)comprehensive review of the TOH finale: 

The long (non) awaited reaction from me and co! It was so hard to steal new names for everyone. Hope you enjoy our nonsense.  Also I have no concept of time or order so if the reactions aren’t in the correct sequence of events oh well. I ain’t watching this episode ever again lmao. 

“There was nothing else to be done but to wait for the man who would rise forth to destroy him, for deep inside his soul because  there was no doubt that what he did was evil"- Off, Zone 2.

Sunniva: How are you feeling? 

Me: The announcement made me feel like puking and the ad has me trembling in the bathroom for 30 minutes. 

Lomes: Well, get ready be mad!

...

Of course it fucking buffers.     

* Sunniva gives the the ugliest, thus the prettiest, laugh known to the universe.* 

Me: Glad my phobia of vomiting is currently off.

*******************************************************************

 Lomes: Ooohhh, everyone run. The Collector drank his evil milk!

Me: Is this meant to be a torrential outflow from an infant star?

Sunniva: His pouty face is cute. Though I generally hate how he’s been animated. 

Lomes: I’m still hung up on a quote from the last episode.  You can’t  tell me they’ve been around Philip for centuries and isn’t able to tell that humans can’t eat gravity.  

Sunniva: Yeah, even with the isolation, there was the time at the start when Philip was forced to bond with him.

Me: At best the Collector’s and Belos’s relationship will end up like Montreal.   

Lomes:???

*******************************************************************

Lomes: This is like an owl house creepypasta. 

Me: I think people  rag on creepypastas too much. We shouldn’t be so critical of things.

Sunniva: You’re watching the finale to criticize it. 

Me: I’m punching up, okay? I’m punching up-

Sunniva: Isn’t this show incredibly progressive to the point of getting cancelled for it, issues aside for that alone it should be celebrated- 

Lomes: Dana is a white woman and half the representation she did last minute and she didn’t even do it well with characters such as Raine-

* A stupid amount of bickering occurs.*

Me: I’m getting cramps and this has already just started…

*******************************************************************

Lomes: "Power noodle." Luz has as weird statements as you.

Me: Hey! 

Sunniva: You and Luz are same character. 

Me: No, I kin Belos. 

Lomes: Of course you do. 

Me: Not his war crimes. I kin Junko for those. 

Sunniva: The actual Palisman name isn’t any better.

*******************************************************************

Me: I thought Camila was hanging from a noose for a second.  Lomes: True witch hunter style.

*******************************************************************

Sunniva: A “witches  battle.” Ohh, like witches since it’s a witches vs human battle?

Lomes: Is human discrimination in the Isles FINALLY  being addressed ?

Me: Luz poking Amity is funny. （°々°）

*******************************************************************

Sunniva: Ohh, Luz was handed the glyph she taught Pip. 

Lomes and I: ♪ You show the lights that stop me turn to STONE! You shine it when I'm alone♫ !

Sunniva: The “ glyphs” in the show  aren’t even actual witch glyphs… I think.

*******************************************************************

Sunniva: That was surprisingly easy to break out of.

Lomes: Damn, everyone else just be weak AF.  Still can’t believe the crew wasted so much time on a dream sequence. 

Me: Dream??

Sunniva: Oh no. 

Me: ♫ I wear a mask with a smile for hours at a time- ♪

Lomes: Stop.  

Me: I actually like that song thought I don’t like Dream.

Lomes: That is the worst opinion you’ve had yet.  

Sunniva: They are a fan of the likes of the Chainsmokers.

*******************************************************************

* Literally everytime Hunter comes on screen.*

Someone who will not be named: Look, it’s the albino rat.

Me: STOP CALLING HIM THAT. 

* Literally everytime Belos comes on screen.*

That gobhopper:  Kill the white boy!  Kill the white boy!

Me: STOPPPP ( ꒦ິ﹏ ꒦ິ )

*******************************************************************

Us, speeding  through most of the scenes with the Collector: Stoppppppp. 

Me: The concept of cringe culture is dead except in relation to them.

*******************************************************************

Me: The Collector made some Fall Guys looking environments.

Lomes: “Hot chocos milk." He literally just said hot chocos milk.  

Sunniva, in literal tears: I swear the crew just used the stock sound baby crying effect.

*******************************************************************

Lomes: Damn the Collector’s traumadumping more than you do.

Me: Cole, just get addicted to burnout media like me. Ruin your own life instead of everyone else’s.  

Lomes: You’ve definitely ruined lives with your work.

*******************************************************************

Lomes: “Like toys”, like shit! Bitches.

Me: You’re telling me that in Hollow Mind when the Collector gave  the Draining Spell with all the details- 

Sunniva: Breathe, breathe, breathe.  

Me: I hate that the crew retconned all that made them interesting. The  fandom is actually right, the Collector is wonderbread

*******************************************************************

Me: I loved how the Collector went “ ohhh Belos needs love too, right?” and Luz  was all “ hell nah”.   

Lomes:  Based, based.

Sunniva: I want a “We’re like brothers! Stop it I will cry.”  

Me: I’m sick of family dynamics honestly.  

Sunniva: ...

Lomes: I’ll take care of that silver-blond fox~

*Lomes caught the peach I threw at them. Make sure to exercise regularly guys.*

*******************************************************************

Sunniva: Noelle, I know you said last episode it would better if the crew spend less time focused on the HexSide and HexSquad  but it’s really weird without them there.

Lomes: Honestly with how much the TOH crew fucked  up Hunter’s  disability metaphor I’m glad none of them are getting that much screen time. 

Me: I’m more focused on how glad I am that everything is solely Belos’s fault and once he’s gone everyone will live happily ever after.

Sunniva: Like Tengan. 

Me: YES!  Belos vs Tengan!

Lomes: Their battle will be legendary!

*******************************************************************

Me: Weird Luz and co are chilling with the Collector while all their other loved ones plus the entire rest of the realm is in danger. 

Sunniva: They’re  trying to reason and soothe someone mentally unstable. 

Me: Everyone with me everyday. 

Sunniva: Nice work king sorry about the mental illness.

******************************************************************** Me: Okay I know that Raine is a bard but the fact Belos had them bring a violin to the throne room is funny to me. 

Lomes: Belos just makes the both of them play sick beats instead.

Sunniva: Belos not only wanted to be a hairstylist but a musician as well. Wait, did Raine always have a violin even when they were just a puppet? 

* We were too lazy to check lmao.*

********************************************************************

Me: Aghhh! The TOH crew are really going with Belos possessing the  Titan corpse. If they kill Raine I swear to god…

Sunniva: Didn’t Belos need to eat animals for months on end just to gather enough strength to get a solidified form again? And after possessing Hunter for a short time and then getting his magic drained, he needed to consume Grimwalkers just to possesses Raine so how is he strong enough to possess the Titan?

Lomes:  Powerscaling is BS. I just more of his design comes through than the Titan’s do, I wanna see a big Belos. 

Me: Like AI Junko! Wish I was a giant AI girl. 

Lomes: Don’t we all?  

* Sunniva does not.*

********************************************************************

Me: G-Glowing blue eye?!! Sans Undertale?!!!   

Lomes: Aww, not enough Belos in the design. But yay, Tina Nose die! 

Sunniva: That’s Dana’s self insert which she spent way too much screen time on. 

* Lomes Smirks.*

Sunniva: Don’t.

Lomes: Yayyy-

* The peach hit Lomes this time. Sunniva is canonically more fit than me.*

********************************************************************

Me: Belos finally got his wings!    

Lomes: ??? Well, Titan fused Belos looks like Tyranitar. 

Sunniva: This reminds of the Steven Corruption.      

Me: This is the issues of the SU finale but in opposite direction. 

Sunniva: Which one?

Me: Both. 

Lomes: We could kill way more people than Belos could.          

Me: Definitely! And go out like c! Wilbur.

Lomes:  Oohhh, Belos having that brief moment where he gains clarity temporarily and realized he fucked up.  

Me: That lucid moment from when you’ve been drowning in your own head,  just when the right memories return for long enough for them to have meaning. 

Sunniva: …Only listening to Tide Pools by Pigeon Pit can save us now.

********************************************************************

Me: Not the death-revival. This  is OPM levels of BS!

Sunniva: Wait, there’s an afterlife? WHAT?

Lomes: They never implied that except for potentially in the last episode and even then it was left to interpretation and made very little narrative sense if true.  

Me: This is the consistency of Danganronpa 3.

Lomes: It feels like Dana threw me off a terr- 

Sunniva: STOP!

******************************************************************** Lomes: This is the worst  thing they could’ve done with the Inbetween. 

Me: “Both the king and queen,  best of both things .” You  know what?  I’m stealing that, I’m stealing that!  Try  me Dana.

Lomes: He’s so ugly, his fit is shit!

Me: Ohhhh my god my mangoball toh magicless au parody version was wrong.  

Sunniva: Yeah, I wouldn’t want this Titan to rail Belos.

*... I was the one who had to clean up all the peach juice off the floor.* ******************************************************************** Me: They did not Deus Ex Machina us… forget literally any story complaints I’ve had for a series ever,  this is the shit. 

Sunniva: That’s actually slang for when something is good.

Me: That makes no sense.

Sunniva: That’s just how it is. 

Me: I hate answers like that! I wanna know everything behind everything!

Lomes:  Don’t you get sick thinking  about stuff too hard?

Me: … Hush, I’m going to pee. 

Lomes: Have fun.

******************************************************************** Lomes: King’s dad literally just went “Belos is evil cause he’s evil”,   wow.  

Sunniva: It makes sense he would think that- 

Lomes: Yeah but the narrative isn’t disproving it despite previously going against that stance. That sort of logic is ableist and dehumanizing and often used to excuse fucked up shit! 

Me: It is similar to Belos’s ideology. Plus the whole POINT is that there are not supposed to be any ‘ chosen’ ones even though people like Philip think otherwise. 

Lomes *glaring at the Titan with the rage of a thousand suns*: How bout we beat you to mush old man?  

Sunniva: No violence…******************************************************************* Me: I could enjoy Luz’s badass form if it wasn’t so contrived.  

Lomes: OC time, OC time! 

Sunniva: I love Luz’s hair, it has a little wave in it.

Me: Yeah, her design is so pretty but I can’t enjoy it even though I would happily hyperfixate on it.

Sunniva: …Want me to cuss out Elon Musk on Twitter? 

Me: Yeah. ******************************************************************* Me, gesturing violently at the acid rain: This  is what happens if we don’t stop climate change.

Lomes: We kill fascists?

Sunniva: NO-

*******************************************************************

Me: God of homesickness. May you lead the lost home when you yourself have never had guidance. Let’s play Astral Alleyway as we take moments of silence.

Sunniva: What about Die Anywhere Else?

Me: Too peppy.  Would make a good ending theme though.  

Lomes, in abject horror:  They are NEVER getting that off their shoes. 

Me: Guess TOH took the statement “ curb stop fascists to death” literally! *cue laugh track.*

******************************************************************* Me: I think Belos is supposed to be more of a symbol and a concept than a person. 

Lomes: Why give so much uniqueness to his backstory then?

Me: All antagonists are allowed be people regardless of what ends up being done  with them. 

Sunniva: You can’t keep making  parallels between characters and  repeatedly bringing them up only to toss them away in the finale. 

Me: …Yeah.

******************************************************************* Lomes: That was one of the worst deaths I’ve ever seen-

Me: Mikan’s execution.   

Sunniva: That’s just unfair! 

Lomes: Yeah, nothing can top that. 

Me: Should’ve just given Belos that lobotomy-

Sunniva and Lomes in unison: STOP. ******************************************************************* Sunniva: People don’t actually care about the specifics of Belos’s death or the logic behind it, just as long as he dies painfully. It’s a way to vent.  

Lomes: Glad the crew didn’t make Hunter watch Belos’s death at the very least. Wish Evelyn and Caleb were there though.

Me: If we’re venting then I want to admit I want to put me teeth against Belos’s teeth.  

Lomes and Sunniva: …

Me: Texture! (✧∇✧)

******************************************************************* Lomes: YOUR JOKE ENDING WAS PARTIALLY REAL ( *note I wrote it before I actually saw the finale episode air lol*) YOU’RE PSYCHIC AGAIN.  

Me: Bruh, they actually put in my made up ending where the Collector is actually from the stars after saying he’s just a wibble kid who needs love and support. 

Sunniva: Look at Hooty with that eyelash game though damn. *******************************************************************

Me: I’m just glad they didn’t kill the  prominent non antagonistic enby character of color. 

Lomes: Well I’m glad Hunter came out exactly like Caleb.

Sunniva: Yeah, he looks more like Caleb now than ever actually.

Me: Luz stop picking all the courses, it’s going to bite you in ass. 

Sunniva: Like, is Luz giving up on the Human Realm completely?

Lomes: True Caleb Wittebane core.

*******************************************************************

Me: Belos dying us is actually a preferable option to what I’ve seen, like being locked away in the Collector’s disk or something. 

Sunniva: It’d be the c!Dream prison situation all over again but a million times worse.

Lomes: Imagine if Belos got Danganronpa 2 Bad Ending in the sense he ends up living tucked away in a fantasy world where he believes he’s succeeded in his mission and he and everyone he loves lives  all happily.

Sunniva: Nothingness would’ve been the most fitting ending but since there’s canonically some sort of afterlife…

 Me: I want Belos to become a god, of homesickness specifically. He’d have wings covered in plants that have the bones in them peaking out and he’d leave flower paths wherever he went and the inside of his hair would have a blue glow that illuminates the rest of his hair-

Lomes, talking over me : I’m just imagining him going to the afterlife ( singular) and getting his ass beat from all his victims-

Me, now talking over them: I also wanna make an reincarnation au-

Sunniva, talking to self: Yeah, I don’t believe in ‘ the Grimwalkers and Caleb are ghosts’ theory but it’d be funny if Belos became a ghost, he’d be wanted nowhere.

*******************************************************************

Well, I don't know how to end this so click this not-suspicious link!

[fandom-shitposter]

Alt-Tech

Fandom having fun with in show concepts is all good fun, but you do actually get that Tech is a cyborg. Right?

That he’s the Kaminoan equivalent of Echo and all of his neurodivergent traits are exactly the same thing that people see in Data in Star Trek, and for the same reasons?

That both he and Echo used to be a regular clones but aren’t anymore, and for much the same reason?

That his utter lack of interest in, or reciprocation to Phee is a byproduct of this, and is exactly how Arnie’s Terminator responds to women around him?

It isn’t like they’ve been subtle about pointing towards it, he’s literally named ‘Tech’ like it’s a product description and not a name – in the same way as the rest of the Batch’s names work like that as well

Not only does he peel back a durasteel plate from the holding cell wall like it’s made of tissue paper, but when Wrecker’s chip activates and he grabs Tech’s arm to prevent him from stabbing him with the needle he’s holding he’s able to push back against Wrecker’s strength, not enough to overwhelm that strength, but enough to hold steady against it

Does he go down when Wrecker throws him at the wall? Yes, but so would my laptop if I threw that at a wall. A shutdown and reboot would definitely be needed, at the very least. Just like when Tech overexerts himself following his leg being damaged (we have to take his word for it that it’s broken based on the zero medical scans we see being performed). Shutdown and initiate his self repair cycle. Good as new in no time!

He never eats. Not once. We see everyone else eat, but not him. He still likes to be around at mealtimes, to be social, to happily see his brother’s needs being met, but he doesn’t participate. Which leaves Wrecker to be the only one complaining about being hungry

Only droids can compete at Riot Racing, and yet Tech wins. Yeah, because his internal computer can process as fast as the other droids on that racetrack. It’s also the reason Echo had to be elsewhere in that episode, because Tech wouldn’t have been the first choice if he’d been present

Oh look, I parked very slightly off the mark I was heading for, ho ho, isn’t Tech funny about a distance no one else would even have noticed. Yeah, because a human wouldn’t have bothered to take note of such a small amount but a droid would (but I’m not going to get into detailing every droid moment that he has or we’ll be here all day)

Tech doesn’t remember the man he used to be, not entirely at any rate, hence the ‘reading from a textbook’ type answer he gives to Omega when she asks him what the war was like. Wrecker has memory issues and fails to recall standard aspects of their basic training, and we know why this is too

We see the technology that’s done this to them in action, both in this show and in the Mandalorian. We see those machines being used and recognise that they’re the same thing. We see Pershing’s memories being removed or buried so deeply within his brain that he’ll never get them back unless a Jedi could (potentially) manage to reestablish those connections, and the alteration in Crosshair’s personality following his ‘chip enhancement’ is horriffic and in direct contrast to the smiling, ‘joking and competing with Wrecker in a fun way’ man we saw in the Clone Wars arc

And this same technology can almost certainly be used to implant memories as well, to create a false persona that seems real to the person it’s been forced upon. To upgrade regs to commandos without needing to spend the time training them. To create loyalty in someone where it wasn’t present before. Both in clones like Crosshair who didn’t have any actual loyalty towards the Empire to begin with, but also in those who’ve started to question their place in the world, especially now they’ve been out in it and seen what life beyond Kamino’s walls is actually like

All of those repeated references at the start of the show about the clones being programmed weren’t dropped in there for no reason

Tech is an older model of cyborg than Echo is, and created from different technology. Likely based heavily on Separatist tech retrieved from multiple battlefields on the pretext of needing to better understand the enemy to efficiently defeat them. B1 battle droids are limited and stupid, but Super Tactical Droids were far from that and were capable of high levels of processing, strategising, and creative thought

Why else is there that whole thing with the Separatist archive and his opportunity to recognise that the Separatists themselves were a broadly varied people with their own histories and cultures and not just a bunch of war obsessed droid manufacturers and haters of the Republic? Like so much else in the show it sure hasn’t ever been mentioned again

We see him be slower to process some forms of information than others are at times, like when Omega realises that they can track the ship via Gonky instead of him realising that before her. He falls back on familiar operation modes such as suggesting an old action plan on Eriadu which is then rejected because the Empire have adjusted their strategies faster that he’s currently able to do since he’s no longer getting product support now he’s not returning to Kamino for updates

When Hemlock appears with Tech’s shattered goggles he says that they’re all he could salvage, not that that’s all that was found or all that could be retrieved or rescued, but all that he could salvage. Like you’d salvage lost or broken equipment. You don’t salvage people. He fell a long way down, and now he’s broken until they whip out the never yet directly mentioned on TBB component which can restore him to functionality which Echo is already in possession of. That missing aspect that he logically must already be in possession of, but they’re careful to never ever show even though several scenes make no sense without it appearing

Because they want so much to have several big ‘gotcha!’ shock reveal moments to drop into the final season that they’re willing to have totally nonsensical aspects of plot in order to avoid mentioning them or to have a natural flow of conversation or seen events in order to try to keep them concealed, knowing full well that their fanbase will rationalise them for themselves later on

And this is affecting both the Bad Batch and the Mandalorian hard right now

[dayabot]

catwalk daya ur on my mind.......

[lovelybarnes]

restless- b. barnes

pairings: bucky barnes x reader, mentions of natasha romanoff, sam wilson, and steve rogers warnings: mentions of nightmares and clingy bucky but it’s mostly fluff about: bucky can’t sleep without y/n a/n: i was going to post this yesterday but i fell asleep :| my computer was literally open and nearly dead when i woke up lmao

today marks one week that you’ve been gone, and with it, the official shortest amount of sleep that bucky has gotten in a week. he supposes it’s sightly pathetic that he can’t sleep well- or, really, at all- without you, but you continuously tell him you chase his nightmares away for him, and without you there to make them disappear, where else will they go but deep into the crevices of his mind, where they’ll hide long enough for him to let his guard down and lull himself to sleep, only to wake up with the ugly memories of things he hoped he’d forgotten. he’s constantly told that his attachment to you is overbearing- not by you, though. never by you- because it must be, with how much he clings to your side, always touching some part of you so that he’s sure that, yes, you’re there. not a dream or an illusion, although you’re good enough to be one.

he misses every part of you; your fingers and the way they run through his hair, trace his features with such tenderness he nearly believes he is what you see, your voice and its ability to transform the most mundane words into the greatest poetry, sing soft songs into his skin until he’s fallen asleep, your eyes and how they examine him in the best way possible, glowing when they meet his.

he longs for you, but he can only imagine your smile, the bitter reminder that you’re probably showing it to some psychopath for the mission you’re on. he hates steve every time the memory is evoked, the panic that comes with your being used as bait for some of the most screwed up villains in the world only returning stronger. he’s tempted to go get you himself, uncaring if he screws up the mission because at least he’ll have you.

stark will call him pathetic, then go to bed with the love of his life, so bucky prefers keeping his thoughts about you to himself, much like he’d like to keep you. you’ve told him you can handle yourself, and bucky never doubts it, having been victim to the using of your skills when he first encountered you as the winter soldier. you kicked his ass then, and you kick any and all ass now.

it doesn’t help his sleeping schedule, though your calls do. he swears you’re an angel because there’s no way a normal human could glow like that through a screen, but you always laugh off his words and simply tell him to turn his brightness down. however, you haven’t taught him that yet, so he greets you with the same sentence every time. his smile is always brighter after your calls, the dark bruises under his eyes reduced as if he got a full night’s rest. it’s your effect on him, and as much as everyone teases you both for it, they appreciate it.

you’re due to come back in a week or two, but bucky is unsure he can wait that long, and judging from your chirpier-than-usual voice in your latest interaction, you’ve finished early, like you always do. he likes to imagine it’s because of him, behind the deprecating voice that screams at him why would it be? (the answer is that you love him and hate every second you’re away from him)

sam scoffs when he overhears him telling that to steve, sitting down next to bucky, “man, there is no way you can tell that from a phone call. even if you could, i know she’s good, but to shave two weeks off mission time? natasha hasn’t even been able to do that.” a proud smile grows on bucky’s face without his permission as he shrugs, “she’s that good,” he brags, choosing to ignore the fake gag sam sends his way.

you frown when he tells you what he thinks on your call a few hours later, lips puckering into a small pout, “how did you know? i wanted it to be a surprise!” you ask through a crackled voice. so much for state of the art technology, bucky thinks, but is glad nonetheless to hear your voice. “i know you too well, doll. you’re really coming back today?”

you nod excitedly, biting your bottom lip. “mhm! i missed you and my bed too much to stay here a moment longer. villains are such pervs,” you complain, nose scrunching. bucky’s jaw sets when he hears your words, immediately thinking the worst. “but, i’m coming back today, so it’s fine. what do you want to do when i get back?”

bucky shrugs, “be with you,” he answers simply, making you laugh. “other than that, dummy. we could watch a movie, have a little date night to make up for the one i missed while i was gone.” bucky grins at this, remembering his plans for that night. “okay,” he agrees, “we’ll watch one of those movies on my list. although sam put some weird ones.”

you concur through chuckles that pass through the phone, reminding him how much you love him. he swears an oath to never let you go again and bites back a yawn that you see right through. “you’re sleeping the moment i get back,” you instruct, and bucky nods with your words, even when the sole idea of your being within arm’s reach is obviously too enticing to pass up for sleep. “whatever you want, doll. as long as you’re here.” he replies, thinking about spending the night pressing kisses to your hair and checking for any injuries you may have withheld from him.

the sentence is dishonest and you both know it, but you leave it at that, missing him too much and sure he’ll rest with how exhausted he must be. you say goodbye without the actual words, only giving a blown kiss and a “see you later.”

bucky spends the rest of the hours without you thinking of you, skimming through the words written in the little blue notebook you got him to replace his old one. that one sits on his dresser, the disuse proven by the layer of dust that covers it. the names he spent hours agonizing over, tracing his fingers over the indents made by the pen, are hidden by its cover. they never fade from his mind, though. only half of the pages of the one you gave him are blank now, and the ones that aren’t are bright and white, inviting him to drop his pen on the lines and jot whatever reference he didn’t understand but wants to. he eyes the names of the movies and shows, some accompanied by quotes that refer to them. “new girl: nick miller,” he reads, remembering how one of your friends said he was the avenger version of the character. “friends: ‘joey doesn’t share food,” sam told him that one when he didn’t let him have any of his chips. he looks at clueless, recalling the way all of his teammates stare at scott whenever the movie comes up. there are a couple pages like this, some of them recommendations and others titles he kept hearing. tonight, he decides on starting a new show, but he leaves the actual show up to you to decide.

you arrive a couple hours later, when stars have littered the darkness that bled through the sky. it’s all very rom-com-filmesque, the way you light up when you see his face- even through how tired you clearly are- and how you jump into his arms, ignoring the ache in your muscles because the way his arms wrap around you seems to make it disappear. he gathers you in his arms and kisses everywhere on your face, treasuring your laugh and the feeling of your lips pressing to his shoulder when you hug him again.

even when you pull away, he doesn’t let go of your hand, flesh fingers tracing small circles into your skin. you don’t complain, even when steve shoves papers in front of you and asks you to sign them with a sheepish look. sam comes by and teases bucky lightheartedly, hounding bucky to let you have both your hands. you chuckle at his request and squeeze bucky’s fingers, kissing the back of his hand, “oh, no, he better not,” you half-joke. he smiles, red tinting his cheeks as he gently draws you closer.

you don’t feel like driving at the moment, and you need to water your plants, completely sure that wanda forgot to do it, so you end up going to your room, even though you spend most of your time at his own room or your apartment outside the compound. you can tell how little the room has been used by the spotless counters and floors, furniture clean of any of the knickknacks you usually leave. you only sleep here when bucky leaves for long missions, his absence is overly blatant when he’s gone, and your plants keep you from feeling too alone.

you usher bucky inside, tugging open your drawers to search for something for him to wear. you grin at the soft fabric under the pads of your fingertips, recalling the memory of stealing them from bucky’s closet to soak in his scent when you couldn’t have the real thing. the considerable use has washed away all traces of him, and you decide that needs to be fixed, picking out clothing for him.

you change into one of his old shirts and make tea while he changes, smiling when you feel his arms wrapping around your waist and kissing your jaw. “what do you want to watch tonight?” he asks, and you contemplate it while you pour your drinks, shoveling spoons of sugar into each one to make it as sweet as possible- his favorite. “new girl, i think you’ll like it,” you reply after a moment.

he unravels his arms from around you, taking the mugs from the counter and following you to your room after you peck his cheek in thanks. “okay, i want to see what this nick miller is all about,” bucky says, making you laugh softly. “c’mon,” he urges, opening his arms for you after setting the cups down. you cuddle up to his side after you grab your computer, setting up netflix and choosing the show.

halfway through the first episode, bucky feels the fatigue hit him like a ton of bricks, hours of missed sleep catching up to him now that he’s finally relaxed and comfortable. keeping his eyes open is a job all on its own, and the sweet smell of your hair combined with the way your fingers move on his chest, softly writing letters and drawing shapes, is too much to resist.

you barely notice when he shuts his eyes, the evening of his breathing alerting you he’s succumbed to his tiredness. you stop the video and quietly shut your laptop, placing it on the bedside table while moving as little as possible. he feels you shift through your efforts, pulling you closer in his sleep. you chase away his nightmares like you always do, letting him sleep his first full night since you left.

he wakes up rejuvenated and embarrassed, sputtering out embarrassed apologies that you shush with kind reassurances and tender kisses. he’s reminded of how wonderful you are when you turn, arms extending to reach into your bag and carrying out a small stuffed animal that you say reminded you of him.

[the-bau-quinjet]

Seven Drinks

Bucky x f!reader

Summary: There's a reason Y/N has never had more than 3 drinks around the other avengers, and they're about to find out.

Warnings: depression, thoughts of suicide, panic attacks, angst (don't worry there's fluff too)

Word Count: 4322

a/n: This is inspired by that episode of Brooklyn 99 with 6 drink Amy (I adopted that concept!) and also Halsey's album Manic. :) I hope you like it. Anything in bold is a lyric from one of the songs on the album!

Please let me know if I messed up the trigger warning tags! I've never written anything like this before, so I just want to make sure I do it right.

Masterlist

"We're having a party tonight." Tony's announcement was met with the usual groans of annoyance at having to schmooze with the typical socialites that attended Tony's party. "You know, you are so ungrateful sometimes. here I am trying to throw you a party, and you're complaining!"

"Tony, we all appreciate the effort you go to, but- at least speaking for me- I don't like people." Y/N's response was effortless, swiftly calming Tony and explaining the reactions.

"That is why-" Tony stuttered when he actually registered the words you said. "That doesn't sound like you at all. And besides, this is a party for just us. It'll be more like team building, but without any pre-planned activities. No "smarmy, rich people" to deal with." He directed his last sentence at Bucky, Steve, and Sam.

The team actually seemed excited at the prospect, albeit skeptical of Tony's motivations.

Unsurprisingly, Nat worked up the courage to question him on it first, "what's the catch?"

"No catch. Just friends, food, and lots of alcohol." His grin quickly shifted into a smirk as the entire room turned to look at you.

You groaned slightly, not wanting all the attention. "Look, there is a reason I cap myself at 3 drinks." Holding up one finger, you started to explain, "One drink Y/N is barely any different from my sober self."

Wanda quickly cut you off, "not true! You get louder." She smirked, happy to have added that tidbit of information.

"Fine." With a laugh, you admitted she was right. "I might get the tiniest bit louder." You held up a second finger to continue your explanation, but were once again cut off.

"It's not a bad thing. It's just your happy, bubbly, and slightly louder than normal personality shining through!" Nat added, seeing an opportunity to tease you for being so positive all the time.

"Thanks Nat. Anyway," emphasizing the rudeness of being interrupted twice, you continued, "two drink Y/N is more touchy feely than normal. Not in a creepy way though!"

"I love two drink Y/N. She gives the best hugs!" Thor eagerly added to the conversation, glad to have dropped by when he did.

"Thanks Thor." With a small smile in his direction, you held up a third finger. "Three drink Y/N is the perfect amount of just past tipsy to have fun without doing anything extremely embarrassing. It makes the most sense to stop there." You finished her little speech with your typical smile and a resolute nod of your head.

"Seriously, you need to relax. Just let loose this one time!" Sam tried to encourage you. With the eyes of nearly every avenger set on you, your resolve didn't last very long.

"Fine! Maybe I'll have a fourth drink." You were met with cheers as you rose from your spot on the couch, trying to prepare for the night that was to come.

--

As soon as you stepped off the elevator, you had a drink in your hand. Clearly your friends were going to make sure you got a fourth drink. even Steve seemed excited when he saw you, although his golden boy personality didn't disappear completely.

"You sure about this? I don't want you to feel pressured!" Bucky nodded, weirdly enthusiastically, before adding, "Yeah doll, don't drink more than you want to."

"You two are too sweet. Sam's right, but don't tell him I said that." You winked at the two super soldiers, emphasizing the joke. "I should let myself relax sometimes. I'm in a safe place, with friends who won't let anything happen to me. What could a few more drinks really do?" You couldn't help but smile at how true that was. You were surrounded by people who care about you.

"Oh, so now it's a few more drinks? What are we talking here, six drink Y/N? Seven?" Bucky teased.

"You'll have to wait and see, Ducky." You teased right back, knowing how flustered he got at the pet name. Steve laughed at his friend as you walked away, ready for your second drink.

--

Before long, you had your fourth drink in your hand. It was slightly odd how literally everyone was staring at you, but your were three drink Y/N at the time, so you were drunk enough not to care.

You downed the fourth drink, unprepared for the consequences.

"So, Y/N... how do you feel?" Clint braved the waters, everyone eagerly awaiting your reaction.

"That is so nice of you to ask! I feel great! I don't think I've ever been this happy." You jumped up and down, hugging Clint with a huge smile on your face.

"How did you get even happier?" Tony chuckled, shaking his head slightly.

"Do you not like it?" Like a switch had been flipped, you were nearly crying.

"What?! No!" Tony was so taken aback at the tears pooling in your eyes, he froze, unsure how to fix it. He looked around the room for help, but everyone else was just as shocked as him.

"I'll fix it!" You were at the bar, fixing another drink before anyone fully comprehended your mood swing.

You walked back up to the group, sipping from your fifth drink as if nothing happened. "What?" You questioned the odd looks, but before receiving an answer you squealed, again jumping up and down. "Let's dance!" You turned around, ready to move to the more open area before looking back over your shoulder, "Wanda! Nat! Pepper! Come on!"

The women shared a look, ultimately shrugging before joining you on the makeshift dance floor.

-

"Bucky, you've been staring at her for 20 straight minutes. When are you finally gonna talk to her?" Steve couldn't help but pester him about his feelings.

"I can't help it. I've never seen her dance so much. I mean, I know she's always happy, but this is a whole new level." He didn't take his eyes off of you, even when he was responding. "I can't tell her tonight, though. This is the most she's had to drink in years."

He watched as you moved back over to the bar, needing another drink after dancing so much.

"Here we go, six drink Y/N." Bucky gestured to the bar. Steve shook his head, but allowed the change of topic.

-

About five minutes after your sixth drink, you were somehow bounding around with even more energy. You were nearly running around the room, trying to talk to everyone at once.

"Ducky! Have I ever told you I took gymnastics lessons for 7 years when I was younger?" You were bouncing with pent up energy, excited to be sharing more information about yourself.

"No, you've actually never mentioned that." He smiled, enraptured by your childlike enthusiasm, so enraptured that he didn't notice the mischief in your eyes.

"Well, I did! Watch this." You handed a confused Bucky your now empty glass, turning and throwing your arms up. Bucky realized two late what was happening, and with both yours and his glasses in his hands, he couldn't physically stop you.

"Y/N, wait!" His shout had everyone turn and look as you flawlessly executed two cartwheels in a row.

Bucky would swear your smile got even bigger as you turned around to look at him again.

"Normally I can do more, but" you hiccuped, then lowered your voice to a really terrible whisper, "I'm a little drunk." You leaned into him, laughing as if you just told a joke.

Wanda walked up to you with a seventh drink, hoping seven drink Y/N had a little less energy, but happy to see you having so much fun. "Here ya go! One more of your favorites, just like you asked."

"Thank youuuuuu!" You shifted to hug Wanda, leaving Bucky to miss your added warmth.

-

You sipped your seventh drink slower than the rest, quickly running out of energy. Sliding the empty glass across the bar, you slipped out of the party unnoticed, making your way to the kitchen for some pickles- your favorite drunk food.

Your seventh drink hit you just after you opened the pickles. Gone was the happy, bubbly persona you showed the world. The mask slipped away, leaving you alone to contemplate your life choices.

You made your way to to the lounge just outside of the kitchen, choosing to lay on the floor behind the couch and stare out of the large floor to ceiling windows.

-

"Where's Y/N?" Bucky glanced around the room, an uneasy feeling in his stomach.

"Huh? Oh, she said she wanted a snack." A very drunk Wanda turned to look at where the food was set up, scrunching her face in confusion when she couldn't find you. "Weird. Maybe she went to the bathroom?"

Bucky, having noticed your absence 8 minutes ago, didn't think you left for a bathroom break. "Maybe." Plus, you always took the girls to the bathroom with you. His eyes flitted about the room, taking one more glance before deciding to go look for you.

He decided to head for the kitchen since Wanda said you wanted a snack. He laughed at the open jar of pickles, knowing you at least passed through this room. He put the pickles away before popping his head into the lounge area.

"Y/N?" He called out, figuring this was the most likely location for you to end up.

You hummed in response, not moving from your spot on the floor. Bucky walked further into the room, slightly confused as to why he could hear you but not see you. That is, until he realized you were laying on the floor behind the couch.

"Why are you on the floor?" He smiled when he found you.

"I'm just looking at the sky." Your voice held a melancholy air as it floated through the room. Bucky's smile faltered, not used to hearing you sad. In the three years he's known you, he's only ever seen you sad because of a movie or tv show. Otherwise, you were quite literally always happy.

"Why-" he faltered, unsure how to check on you. "Is everything okay?" he nearly choked the words out, feeling slightly stressed at your sudden gloominess.

"Yeah." You took a deep breath, slowly letting it out in a deep sigh. "Yeah, I'm fine. It's just... I don't know." You sigh again, still looking at the sky.

Bucky chances another question, wanting to get you talking since you're acting so off. "How are you feeling?"

"I feel... so sorry." You words were so soft that Bucky could barely hear them.

"Sorry?" He tried to hide his confusion, matching your soft tone as he sat down a few feet away from you. "About what doll?"

"Just... because I feel so sad." Tears pooled in your eyes, but you didn't stop staring at the sky.

"What are you sad about?" It's taking everything in him for Bucky not to hold you right now. He doesn't want to make you even more upset, especially because he's never seen you like this.

"No one around me knows who I am..." He watched as a tear rolled down your cheek, shining in the light from the moon.

Bucky moves closer, just close enough for him to reach out and hold your hand. You squeeze it, instant relief flooding through him that he hasn't crossed any boundaries.

He goes to speak, but you cut him off. "I'm not breaking. I won't take it. And I won't ever feel this way again." Your voice is harder, as if your angry with yourself.

"Hey, hey, hey. It's okay to have feelings. You're allowed to feel like this. Don't push it away. Talk to me. Why don't you think anyone knows who you are? We're all here for you, Y/N." He rubs his thumb over the back of your hand, trying to convey how serious he is.

You let out a dry laugh, wiping the the tears from your cheek. "My self preservation..." Bucky can tell there's more to, choosing to wait for you to continue. "All of my reservations..." You sigh again, sitting up, you scoot closer until you can lean your forehead against his shoulder. "I bottle it up. I'm my own biggest enemy." You let out another dry laugh, shaking your head without moving it from its resting place on Bucky's shoulder.

Bucky wraps his arm around you and leans his cheek against your head. "Take your time. You can talk to me." He whispered, trying to keep you talking without getting mad at yourself again.

"Well, I'd like to tell you that my sky is not blue, it's violent rain." The sounds of your sniffles break his heart. "I just pretend everything's fine because that's what I had to do when I was younger." Rather then interrupting, Bucky continues to rub small circles on your hand and your back, encouraging you to continue when you're ready. "Can I tell you a story? I... I think it'll help explain some of it."

"Of course. Anything you need, doll." He curses himself for the pet name, not wanting you to think he's joking. He just can't help it when it comes to you.

"Thank you, ducky." You chuckle, but your words are just as sincere as his. "You know I have two sisters, and I love them with all my heart, but sometimes growing up with them was hard. My older sister, she put so much pressure on herself to succeed. And, she did. She was so good at everything she did, that I felt like I had to be just as perfect.

With my younger sister, it was like it was effortless. She put just as much, if not more pressure on herself. but, she could do anything she tried to, with almost no learning curve. I always felt this crazy amount of pressure to be just as good.

My parents, they didn't really help with that. I mean, they were so supportive and I'm so grateful to them, but it was a lot of pressure. The summer between my junior and senior year of college, I wanted to get an internship. Ya know, to get some experience. It would set me up better for getting a job after graduation.

I spent months looking and applying, but nothing was working out. So, I went home for the summer. My mom would come home everyday and ask me if I got a job yet.

I spent nearly every waking hour looking for a job, even just a part time one for the summer. So one day, when we sat down for dinner and she asked if I got a job yet..."

Bucky could feel how tense you were telling this story, but he knew you needed to get it out.

"I told her, 'no, not yet' and she just seemed so disappointed. She asked if I was even applying and I snapped.

I yelled at her, something that had never really happened before. I told her I was trying. I was doing everything I could. She yelled at me for yelling and said it wasn't unreasonable to ask for updates.

I yelled right back. I kept saying I spend all day everyday trying and just when I finally get a break, she walks in and brings it all up again. I was stressed enough without her constant reminders.

I ended up running away from the table, in tears. I hid in the bathroom, there... there was a pair of scissors on the counter and I really thought about killing myself that day."

The tears are pouring out of you at this point. Bucky threw caution to the wind. He picked you up, maneuvering you to sit across his lap and lean your head on his chest. He kept rubbing circles into your back, murmuring words of encouragement.

"My younger sister tried to check on me, but I wouldn't open the door. My mom stomped down the hallway to her bedroom. I was full on having a panic attack in the hallway bathroom. I think I stayed in there for an hour before I went back to the dinner table.

My dad was in the kitchen. He put my plate in the microwave to heat up dinner for me. I ate through near constant tears, it only got worse every time he tried to ask me what happened. Why I snapped like that.

I wanted to apologize to my mom for yelling, so after I ate I went to her room. I knocked, and when she told me to come in I opened the door. I just remember her looking so angry.

I apologized. I told her I was sorry for yelling. She said something about not being unreasonable again. I cried again. When she asked what was wrong, I told her I was scared.

I couldn't put it into words though, so when she asked me 'of what?' I just shrugged. Then, she asked me if I was on my period.

God. I wanted to scream. I wanted to yell at her again, To make her understand 'I only wanna die some days. But if I decide to break, who will fill the empty space?' I decided that day that I would never try to tell anyone how I actually felt."

Bucky holds you as you cry. You're not sure how long it's been when you can finally breathe enough to talk again.

"I just, so many people have bigger problems then me. I grew up in a loving household. I went to college and made friends. I got a job after I graduated. So why am I so sad sometimes? I just wanna scream but what’s the use? At night, I lay awake and I stare at the door, I just can’t take it no more."

Bucky continues comforting you when he speaks again. "Just because other people have problems, doesn't mean yours are irrelevant. You are 100% allowed to feel however you feel, even if it seems like there's no reason for it. Have you ever thought about talking to someone about all of this? I know you just said you haven't told anyone how you actually feel for years, but I think it could help." He smiled nervously when you raised your head to look at him.

"I have actually. I joked about it a lot with my roommate right out of college. I always used to say 'everybody needs therapy' as a joke. Of course, I meant it. Most people probably do need therapy." You laughed, moving your arms around Bucky's neck to hug him. "Thank you for listening to me. I like talking to you."

Of course, Bucky noticed your smile didn't reach your eyes. He was confident in his words when he spoke again. "You can always talk to me. I'll always be there to listen." He followed that with a less confident "What's been bothering you today?"

"Oh, nothing that serious. It's just all pent up inside, ya know?" You smiled again, hiding your face so he couldn't see your lies.

Of course, he could still hear it in your voice. "Y/N, you can tell me. I want to be here for you."

"I... It's just, my insecurities are hurting me." You laughed at yourself. "Here we go with the fucking riddles, again. On the plus side, I think I've cried so much I'm back to one drink Y/N."

"Well, it has been 3 hours since I left to come find you." You were grateful for Bucky's joke, needing something to lift the mood a bit. "But, don't try and change the subject. I still want to know what's got you all sad." His words were light, but you knew how serious he was.

You took a deep breath, burying your head in his neck. "How could somebody ever love me?" You spoke into his shirt, not moving your head back even an inch.

"You know I can't understand you when you talk into my neck like that." Bucky tried joking, but even he knew it would do little to calm your fears.

You moved back, lips still grazing his skin when you repeated yourself, "how could somebody ever love me?"

Bucky wanted to scream. He wanted to tell you how much he loves you. He would gladly spend every day of his life loving you, but he didn't think this was the right time. Not when you just poured your heart out to him. So he settled for the almost truth.

"Anyone would be lucky to love you. You are selfless. You put everyone else first, no matter what. You always make sure everyone has a reason to smile, even when things aren't going right. You tell the best jokes. You're great at cuddling." He squeezes you closer to him, emphasizing the point. "You are beautiful, inside and out. Everyone who comes into contact with you automatically has a better day. You are incredibly strong and independent. I've never met anyone so incredibly good. Even Steve. Anyone would be lucky to be loved by you."

His words brought more tears to your eyes, pooling in the corners. "Then how come everyone that I’ve dated says they hate it cause they don’t know what to do with me? I feel broken."

"They were all idiots. You're not broken. Not even a little bit. You're learning how to express your feelings. You just need someone who would take it slow." He pressed a kiss to your forehead, struggling not to tell you everything.

"I wonder if you’d take it slow." Your eyes go wide when that slips out. You hadn't meant to make things uncomfortable. One look at Bucky's face has you freaking out. He looks stunned. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to say that. It just slipped out! Oh god, you've been there for me all night and I go and fuck it up by admitting I'm in love with you."

Your eyes grow even larger. You would move out of his lap, but his arms are still holding you in place. "Shit! Maybe I'm still drunk because apparently I have no filter." You say the last part more to yourself, but he can still hear you.

"Y/N?" Your name comes out of his mouth in a soft whisper.

"Yes?" You cringe internally at messing everything up.

"I would take it slow." He smiles, leaning his forehead against yours while he waits for you to absorb his words.

"Yeah?" You whisper back, a smile ghosting your lips.

"Yeah." You both lean in, exchanging soft, slow kisses and sleepy smiles.

--

The two of you ended up falling asleep leaning against the back of the couch. The sun streaming through the windows, combined with the noise of the other avengers in the kitchen, wakes you up.

You nudge Bucky, grinning when he pulls you closer.

"C'mon. Let's get some breakfast." He groans again, but eventually stands up.

The two of you walk into the nearly full kitchen, surprising everyone by coming from the lounge rather than the elevators. They share amused expressions, unaware of the emotional hurdles you jumped last night.

You head right for Sam, hugging him tightly before moving on to hug everyone else.

"I just wanted to thank you all. For encouraging me to live a little last night, but also for being there for me." Tears spring to your eyes again, shocking everyone but Bucky. "You're all like a family to me and I'm so glad I have you all to lean on." You made your way back to Bucky, leaning into his side while he poured both of you some cereal.

You smile when you look at him, kissing his cheek before sliding into the stool next to his.

As if broken out of a day dream, Sam sputters out a question. "What the hell did seven drink Y/N do last night?" Thrown off both by your behaviour with Bucky and the short emotional speech.

"Oh, seven drink Y/N is an emotional little bitch. I think I cried eight years of suppressed tears." You laughed, grinning at Bucky when he squeezed your hand. "Also, I think I need a therapist." Your casual admission has Tony spitting out his breakfast.

"What the hell happened last night after you disappeared from the party?" He guffaws, trying to put the pieces together.

"Also, why aren't you even a little bit hungover?" Nat chimed in, upset at missing out on seeing you anything but cheery.

"Well, to answer Nat first, I don't get hungover. Never have, even the one time I blackout out." You shrugged at everyone's slightly jealous expressions. "To answer Tony, I had an emotional breakthrough. Bucky helped me talk through it, something I never thought I'd be able to do. Long story short, i'm going to learn how to share my feelings instead of suppressing them all."

"Suppressing them? What are you talking about? I've literally never felt anything but happiness from you before?" Wanda questioned the new development.

"Well, that's because I'm really good at hiding how I feel. I'd rather not go through it all again, so just watch the security footage from the lounge last night, yeah? I want you all to know, even if it took seven drink Y/N to share it." You quickly finished eating, pulling Bucky to the doorway.

"While you do that, we're going out. Bye!" Before they could question anything else, you ran to the elevator, dragging a very willing Bucky behind you.

"We're going out?" He questioned when the elevator doors shut.

"Yep. Get dressed, I want to see all your favorite places in New York. Even if they're different now. Take me to all your favorite spots." You both smiled, sharing another soft kiss before parting to change for the day.

"Hey," Bucky called, causing you to turn over your shoulder, "I love you."

"I love you too."

[harrieatthemet]

Mustache

He has never been keen on sharing. 

And Gemma’s mere existence, as well as the small indent on her left thumb she swears is a scar (though Harry vehemently denies it is), is living proof. 

Mr Ducky was his favorite bath time companion for a good bulk of his childhood. There were even times he’d carry it around with him in the house tied to a string like a pet, one of Anne’s fondest memories and favorite stories to tell whenever she found the opportunity. 

Maybe it was Gemma’s own fault; she was only six at the time and was foolishly under the impression that the stupid rubber toy was at anyone’s disposal, which is what led her to try and situate the duck in her backpack as she geared up for school. 

It’s also what led her to tears because Harry caught her on the way out the front door, Mr Ducky in tow, and he instinctively sunk his teeth right into the side of her hand in protest. And, okay fine, he may have bit down a little harder than he should have, but the overall message he was sending came across very clear. Gemma never touched anything he owned again for a very, very, long time; and eventually went on to tell everyone in her class she had a vampire as a brother. 

“What do we think of this little number,” your hip jut, innocent as it was, just now became a permanent memory in Harry’s brain, “too much, like.. revealing?”

You like nice in red; devilish, even, and in the best way possible. There’s nothing revealing about the dress at all. Somehow, though, he finds himself perched squeamishly at the foot of your bed in complete fucking anguish. In theory, no, the dress is not too much. It’s the perfect ensemble and flatters you so well he feels like whoever made the dress conjured it up with you specifically in mind. 

And no, it’s not too much, for literally anyone else except him. How is such a modest dress enough for him to think you up the way he is right now; bent over in front of him with your hair wrapped tightly up in his palm while that dress lays in a sloppy ball by his feet. 

“Would be nice with nude shoes,” he mules, “like, those sandals y’ave, yeah?” 

The way your eyes light up, that same way they always do when your mind starts to move at light’s speed as you start assembling a million different ideas into one, is enough to tug a grin onto his mouth. 

He didn’t really want to agree to this. When you texted first to ask he ignored it, that way you’d have just carried on without him and he could blame a busy schedule or an overrun nap on his delayed response time. It’s much easier to blame a missed text for no response. Of course it’s not in your nature to send a text, and he knew that already. So it came a son surprise when he was bombarded by 4 phone calls. By the fifth one he had picked up, succumbing to you and just the flat out unfulfilled urge he had to hear your voice at the other end of the phone.

“Seriously Harry,” your voice is like fucking honey, sweet and sullen like it always is, and he’s in euphoria listening to it as you poke your earring through the lobe of your left ear, “it’s just, y’know I don’t- I’m nervous and I appreciate you helping me do something as stupid as picking a dress.” 

“S’not stupid,” he reassures, “y’know I just like spending time with yeh, since y’so busy ’n stuff.”

Which is true. That’s the only thing that got him over here; and he rescheduled a zoom call just to sit in your bedroom for all of twenty minutes. Not one part of him regretted it, either.

“I’m busy?” You tease, “coming from the A lister who’s in London, than LA, than New York, London again, oh, than LA again oh, then ‘sorry love, m’in Tokyo.’”

Also true, he knows that, which is why he’s snickering at fault in response to your harmless teasing. He wouldn’t say it now, mainly because he doesn’t want to make it weird, but regardless of where he falls on the map he somehow still finds a way to fit you in. He’s never minded doing it, either. 

Twenty minutes isn’t enough. Maybe another twenty more could be a sufficient amount. That’s almost an hour, right? Forty minutes is almost a full hour with you and he’d love to get even that much. Or twenty more hours, even, would be that much better. It’s better for him to think of getting more time with you than to let his thoughts wander and remind him of where you’re getting ready to go off to. 

A date. It’s why he was so hesitant to come here. It’s hard enough as it is being a prisoner to his own thoughts, being around you and not getting to interact with you the way he actually wants; kiss you the way he wants, touch you the way he wants, hold you and talk to you the way he wants. Adding a new element to the mix, another man getting access to you the way he wants, well that’s just mental warfare. 

You don’t know anything about though. And thank God, because if you could get a peak into his thoughts and see just a preview of what he thinks he almost knows for sure you’d ice him out in a heartbeat. He’s got a soft spot for you, nonetheless, which is why he swallowed the massive-sized lump in his throat when you told him you needed help on an outfit for a date and b lined it over to your place.

“Who’s this guy, anyways.” He chimes, following you similar to that of a lost puppy as you start heading towards the staircase, “Like, wha’s he look like ’n stuff.”

Immediately after he asks he wishes he hadn’t. The way that pesky fucking lump reappears when you wiggle your eyebrows in response, stuffing your hand into your leather purse in an attempt to fish out your phone. A simple response like ‘handsome’ or ‘he’s a nice guy’ would’ve sufficed for him. Seriously, that’s all he needed. What he didn’t need was an entire fucking slideshow of an above average looking guy. And he had a cool mustache, to boot, which really pissed Harry off for some reason. 

“Should probably shave,” he squints his eyes at the photo you’ve got propped right in front of his face, trying his hardest to act like he isn’t so fucking jealous of that mustache, “kinda looks like a squirrel on his top lip."

“If I didn’t know you so well,” you tut teasingly, “I’d think you’re a dick.”

“You know me so well and still don’t think that?” 

He likes the way your laugh sounds, and it makes him happy that he said something amusing enough to drag it out of you. And the toothy smile you pair with it practically knocks the wind right out of him. Everything you do seems to wow him, corny as it sounds. It makes him feel so at ease, and the butterflies he gets each time gets him reminiscing to the days where he was just a kid and had the worlds biggest crush on the girl who sat three rows ahead of him in grade school. He’s giddy and he doesn’t want you to leave for this date. 

For a second he thinks about doing something elaborate; breaking his foot or faking an illness so that you literally have no choice but to hang back and look after him. That’s selfish though, and honestly just crazy and super fucked up, so he opts out of that. But he doesn’t want you to go so bad he seriously considers it, especially as you start sorting through the downstairs closet to find a coat that doesn’t clash with your shoes. 

He could just be honest. He could just tell you that he doesn’t want you to go, solely because he’s absolutely infatuated with you and for every hour he’s awake and functioning you manage to consume every thought he has. He could just be an adult and tell you he’s got feelings for you that very much surpass a platonic, friendly demeanor. That might be a better way into persuading you to stay back with him than breaking his fucking foot. 

“Ok now wait a minute,” he chokes, and there’s a painful twang that strikes his gut when you frown, “gotta tell y’somethin’.” 

“What,” you groan, and he swears he would rather die right now than do anything else, “it’s the shoes, right? They make my calves look like I’m a running back don’t they?” 

He wants to laugh but he thinks if he opens his mouth he would projectile vomit everywhere. But the thought occurs to him that if he does that than it would be an excellent excuse for you to skip the date. Though, of course, he runs the risk of grossing you out and absolutely humiliating himself all in one go of it. 

So he shakes his head no. In fact he loves the shoes, and they make your ankles look slender and really compliment your legs quite nicely. Still, he’s scrambling to string together a coherent sentence because his brain is working a lot faster than the muscles in his mouth are and it feels like someone just super glued his lips shut.

“Speak now or forever hold your peace,” you tease, and the cheeky wink you shoot him over your shoulder just edges him even more if that’s possible at this point, “Styles.”

“I don’t want y’to go on this date, (Y/N).” 

He’s well aware that he blurted that out in a way that he really, really, wish he hadn’t. Now the air in the room is stale and heavy, dense too, like someone just sucked all the air out and left the two of you here with nothing to inhale but words and unspecified tension. 

And he’s starting to get more anxious as your playful manner dissipates. He can tell your puzzled not just be the demeanor of your face, but by the stance of your body because your letting shoulders hang the way you do when you’re a little uncomfortable. 

“Oh,” you breath, and his chest starts sinking inward, “okay, I just- well why not? Do I not.. like, do I look bad or something?”

“No,” he coos, and he feels like the worlds biggest asshole when you start to frown, “No y’don’t- Christ, (Y/N) y’look amazing. Y’always look so fuckin’ amazing. It’s just-”

“What,” you huff, “than what is it, than? Why wouldn’t you want me to go?”

He’s really done it now. The proper thing to do would’ve just been to let you go, walk out with you and watch you drive off before he headed home himself. The proper thing to do would’ve been for him to just go home and think about you on a date with someone other than himself, curled up in a ball watching a Friends episode he’s already seen four times while he felt sorry for himself. But that’s not what happened, and what he should’ve done was just broke the fucking foot like he initially thought to do. That would’ve been less agonizing than this. 

“Because,” he’s frustrated now, not with you but really just himself, “I should be taking y’out. M’absolutely in love with yeh, (Y/N), and I don’t have a cool mustache but I could take y’out on a date, ’n I want to so bad.” 

There’s still that dense energy looming in the room, and his gut now too as he feels it winding up tightly in an anxious bundle of knots and twists. You’re not saying anything and the only thing he notices is that you’re breathing is vaguely staggered and your clutching onto that purse in your hand like he’s about to snatch it and run off. God, he should’ve just broken the foot!

“Please don’t go out wit him,” and now, his voice is small, “think it might kill me.”

[yellowcabdriver]

love language

Pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader

Summary: Javier wants to love you the right way.

Genre: fluff, hurt/comfort

Warning: none

A/N: this was written in like 20 minutes before I went to sleep so sorry in advance for mistakes 🥲 Also, a kiss on a head for those who guesses Javier’s love language I tried to force in here 🥰🤣

“What form of love language do you prefer?”

You raised your head from the paperwork you had been filling out for what seems like an eternity.

“What?”

Elena shook some heavy-looking glossy magazine in her hand.

“There’s a test in here. Wanna find out?”

You went back to filing the report and shrugged your shoulders.

“How many love languages are there anyway?”

“Umm…” Elena quickly flipped through a few pages. “Five.”

Usually, you were not the one to indulge in magazines, especially not at work but… it had been a long day at the embassy. Very long. You spent the first part of the day typing out reports for Noonan, then you had to go to the archive and sew together some old documents in a badly lit backroom in the company of, you were sure of it, a ghost of someone who died in that backroom choking on an ungodly amount of dust. Your back was aching, high heels required by the dress code were straight up slaughtering your feet one step at a time. And also, you were bored out of your mind.

“Wow, okay.” You sighed and plopped down on a chair. “Sure, let’s see. I needed a break anyway.”

With a victorious shriek, Elena started reading out questions and marking the answers down on the pages with a pencil that desperately needed to be sharpened.

“Okay, you got…” her lips inaudibly moved as she was counting the results. “You got words of affirmation.”

“Oh, bullshit!” You threw your head back in sardonic laughter and stretched out your legs. “I don’t enjoy being complemented at all, I always get super uncomfortable!”

Elena shrugged her shoulders as she was erasing her pencil notes from the magazine.

“Maybe you do, somewhere deep down.”

“Nope, not a chance,” you snickered. “Your magazine is full of lies.”

“Hey!” Jokingly offended, Elena hugged the magazine to her chest. “It’s my only entertainment in this lifeless pile of paper!”

“What did you get then?” You asked, propping your cheek with your palm making you sound all muffled.

“Acts of service.”

“Well then, I’ll tell David to serve you up real nice.”

An enemy missile in the form of a crumpled piece of paper landed on your table.

“Oh screw you!”

“What’s the hustle?”

Elena and you immediately straightened up at the voice of a visitor who, upon further inspection, turned out to be your boyfriend, Javier.

“It’s just me, not Noonan,” he raised his palms slowly walking to your table as you two relaxed into your previous positions. Javier sat down at the edge of your table next to your chair and leaned down to kiss you on the forehead, this was his way of saying hello.

“Are you ready to go home?” He asked. Boy, were you ever.

“Of course, I am. So tired,” you complained suppressing a yawn. Javier smiled, soothingly stroking your hand.

“Let’s just go home, they don’t even pay us any overtime anyway,” Elena muttered, shooting a resentful stare at the piles of documents in front of her.

“By the way,” Javier turned to look at Elena. “David is downstairs, I think you’re gonna catch up.”

These words were enough for Elena to throw away her magazine, which honour she was just defending by violating a Geneva Convention of friendship, and bolt out of office without further ado. You and Javier looked at each other in amusement and burst into laughter at the same time.

“We should also go.”

“Yep, let’s go home.”

Nominally, “home” was Javier’s apartment, it was closer to the office and was overall much nicer than your place. Driving down the familiar street—the next turn after that yellow house, you were thinking, is home—Javier put his hand on your lap and asked you:

“Why were you arguing with Elena? Did she do something to you?”

“Oh, she did, she Inflicted the pain of knowing the content of a beauty magazine,” you half-heartedly complained, enjoying the warmth of Javier’s large hand on your thigh. Javier grinned at your remark.

“That harsh, huh?”

“We were just bored and decided to take a dumb test from the magazine.”

Javier chuckled as he quickly glanced at you, his yellow aviators catching a glimpse of the setting sun.

“About what?”

“Something about love language.”

“And what about it?”

“Well, found out that my love language is apparently words of affirmation.”

The car slowly stopped in the driveway as you reached Javier’s apartment building.

“Really?” He smiled at you, kissing the back of your hand. You almost melted at the gesture of his casual affection.

“Yes, who would’ve thought, right?”

Javier laughed again, exiting the car and jogging to your side to open the door for you. You jumped down and placed a quick kiss to the corner of his mouth as a thank you.

“So it means you need to hear words of affirmation every day? Like your Cleo?” Javier asked, locking the car doors and turning slightly to look at you with a smile. You snorted. “Your Cleo” was a plant sitting comfortably on a windowsill of your office. She was a dying little thing until you saved her from being literally abused in the dark hallway of the embassy. Once you got her into a well-lit room and started watering her properly with actual water and not residue 3-in-1 coffee, Cleo turned into a stunning blooming beauty. You did talk to her, mostly paying her compliments—yes, weird, but you read somewhere that plants responded to positive affirmation. Javier, of course, didn’t believe any of that but for you, and he highlighted that specifically, he would greet Cleo every now and then when he entered your and Elena’s office.

“I am not like Cleo!” You huffed, making Javier smile as he hugged you by your waist and you two started walking towards his apartment. “But I believe everyone flourishes under kind words, don’t you think?”

Javier opened the door to his place and let you enter first.

“That’s a fair point, hermosa.”

The evening went by as it usually did: you two ate a dinner that Javier quickly put together—you maybe were a better cook but a slow one, for sure. Then you went to put Javier’s clothes into a washing machine, a dreadful loud thing that was tumbling around so hard you were afraid it would explode, while Javier washed the dishes. Finally, you two settled on the coach to watch some classic evening telenovelas because nothing relaxes a person more than an intricate plot of a tv show where somehow everyone ends up being everyone’s relative.

You were very engulfed in an episode—main character shot a man who turned out to be her biological father,—when Javier quietly asked:

“Am I saying enough compliments to you?”

“What?” You let out an involuntary laughter but as you turned to look at Javier, he didn’t seem to be joking.

“You said your preferred love language is words of affirmation and I’m… cariño, you know I’m not good with words,” Javier let out a bitter chuckle rubbing his temple—a nervous habit. “Am I showing you enough love?”

Oh.

Oh.

That you didn’t expect.

You turned the volume down and quickly climbed on Javi’s lap. He uncomfortably glanced up at the ceiling with a vulnerability you never saw him exude before. You could see something you would believe was more of your thing—an insecurity of being not enough.

“Javi, please, look at me,” you took his face in your hands and he immediately left a quick kiss on your palm, like a reflex.

God, that man was gonna be the death of you.

“Javi, my love, I never said anything about my preferences, it was just a dumb magazine. And besides, I don’t need to hear compliments, you know I can’t even take them well!” you said causing Javier knowingly to raise his eyebrows in agreement. Your left hand found its way to the back of his head and into his soft curls making Javier groan quietly.

“I love you so much and I love your ways of showing affection. I feel loved, if anything I feel adored.” You let your right index finger trace his aquiline nose and Javier closed his eyes at your tender touch. You began to press soft kisses all over his face.

“You love me so well, Javier Peña. You are so caring, so wonderful, so handsome, and sooooo sexy…” you exhaled as your kisses reached his jaw and you felt him smile. “I love you, Javi. So so much.”

Javier opened his eyes and pulled you in for a proper kiss.

“I love you, too, mi corazon,” his hands gently squeezing your thighs.

As this gesture pressed you closer, you felt the tightness in his jeans. Jokingly widening your eyes you glanced down, between your bodies, as Javier offered you a shy boyish grin.

“Ohh, but I see that someone else’s love language is definitely words of affirmation.”

Javier’s hands slid under your shirt and tightened around your waist as he began to leave open-mouthed kisses on your neck prompting you to let out a shamelessly loud moan.

“Oh yeah, I guess I forgot to mention that,” he softly said, nuzzling his nose into your neck. “I really love to hear your praise, mi amor.”

[evakuality]

Matteo - episode four

Clip one - I know we all find it really funny that Hans finds Matteo’s enthusiasm so strange and bizarre and out of character, but that’s really sad actually.  That it’s so normal for this boy to be closed and quiet and miserable that a little smile and some happiness is this odd?  That poor kid.  It really does bring home just how unhappy his life has been up to this point.  I do find it very sweet that one small in joke from David has Matteo this smiley - honestly, the way these two get each other is lovely to me.  They’re on the same wavelength so quickly!  It’s fascinating btw, that when Matteo is reading messages from Sara and his mother, the camera is tight on his face and he once again looks trapped, but when it’s David there’s space and warmth around him.  Visually, this is the opposite of the thing in Sara’s room - then it was her who was feeling comfortable and easy in a relationship, here it’s Matteo.  Not that he and David are in a relationship as yet, but they almost kissed!  And David contacted him basically as soon as he woke up!  He has a lot to be happy about, and he clearly feels far more comfortable in his skin when thinking of David than with either of the other two.

As a side note, the music at the end of this clip really reminded me of the way we all used to analyse obsessively over what might be coming in the next clip every time each one ended.  I don’t know why this one in particular got to me, but I was just swamped with nostalgia when it started up.  I really m iss that time of trying to figure out what songs might mean and what aspects of Skam might be coming our way.

Clip two - Honestly, this clip just really shows that Mia and Alex absolutely never should have been together.  This season aired so soon after Mia’s and by this time (episode 4 - so like 5 weeks after they properly got together) they’ve already argued, all we really know about them is they have lots of sex, and now he’s just decided to head off to London?  Yeah, this isn’t and never has been a solid relationship.  The fact that they’re bringing up that if Alex had done this to Kiki Mia would be absolutely livid really reinforces this idea.  But then when Matteo finally adds a little something to the mix, Mia very dismissively says that Alex has never been his type.  It’s so unnecessary when everyone else has literally already agreed that he’s being an ass.  I love that Matteo was feeling good enough to almost insert himself into the room and into the social mix (even as the framing and cinematography keeps him distanced and somewhat Isolated), and the fact that Mia’s words sent him zipping back to his hole is sad.  He’s trying to reach out and join in!  

On the plus side, it’s nice that we’re getting the strong visual reminder that it’s David and their interactions that have had this positive effect on Matteo.  It’s really nice that the way David disrupted his apathy has extended to the other people around him.  As much as I’m not looking forward to the ‘days without David’ times (15 of them, if I recall correctly), I do love that this connection has already started pushing Matteo out into a social circle even this early.  No amount of Mia pushing him back in can change that Matteo is already starting to grow.

Clip three - This is one of the few clips where I don’t really understand Sara and why she acts like she does.  I mean, it’s clear that she’s already been building this relationship up in her head and is almost certainly living in some sort of fantasy where they’re a strong, tight couple.  But even so - they’ve been dating for 3 seconds, so why would she think they’d go on holiday together after graduation?  It makes a lot of sense that Matteo would have plans with his mates that are far longer standing than whatever these two have going on.  Of course, as is his norm, this is probably an excuse, but even so.  She can’t know that and it’s so weird that she’s this disappointed.  And then the weird pregnancy thing, too.  What does she expect to get out of it?  Jealousy that she’s sleeping with someone else?  He was of course never going to believe that he was about to be a father.  Anyway, strange behaviour from Sara all around.  I guess at least it does set us up for her major overreaction to Matteo’s break up text - she’s moving from an understandable build up in her head to something that’s verging on completely unrealistic.

Clip four - While I don’t get the consternation about Matteo’s cheat sheet, it is a really really stupid thing for him to do.  I mean, I used to make note sheets of my notes to check whether I knew what I was doing and to do some last minute studying before tests.  So it’s not that unlikely that someone might test themselves with notes.  Literally just having the sheet isn’t a crime.  However, being so dumb as to send it to the group chat and then to leave it unattended in the bathroom (and then post a picture of it) - that’s the dumbest part.  The fact that he doesn’t get caught and dealt to is something of a miracle imo.  And I still don’t get why he did it.  I mean, clearly in-story he did it so we can meet up with David (!!! wooh, David!!!) but there are other reasons for that to happen (like literally him needing the bathroom for real) so I don’t get the cheat sheet.  I do really like that meeting with David, though, so I’m willing to forgive Matteo’s absolute stupidity.  I love that the two of them are still connecting with very little way for anyone outside the two of them to understand anything they’re saying.  They’ve barely really talked properly and yet they have this immediate bond and immediate set of in-jokes.  Matteo even literally used one on Sara (Detroit) when they were talking previously as a way to have that connection even when David seemed out of reach.

Clip five - Another clip that feels on the surface very much like the original and yet one which has a very different feel.  I don’t think Matteo was trying to be an asshole here, but his questions do come across as very insulting to Amira and she’s totally in her rights to call him out on it.  Interestingly, I always found Sana to be the more aggressive character, and yet in this scene Amira comes across as much more aggressive.  The camera work is of course part of that, with close ups and very bright lighting, but even her voice seems more intense.  Of course, this is also a scene where Matteo very consciously deploys his ‘straight’ persona - this is one of the very very few times that he uses Sara as a cover for his sexuality.  It’s clear by now that he absolutely does know he’s gay, but given the way Amira was reacting, I guess he’s reflexively hiding from her just in case she figures it out.  This is, of course, very shitty behaviour towards Sara and I honestly don’t blame her for feeling upset and badly-treated.  She has been, and this is probably the lowest point in Matteo’s treatment of her.  He knows how she feels, that’s always been clear, but he chooses to use her anyway and then blows up at her when she acts like a couple at Abdi’s party.

Clip six - Speaking of which, he does it in a very very bad way, but it’s really good that Matteo can finally actually tell the truth and speak his mind with Sara.  There’s been far too much of her deciding and speaking for him that it’s good to see him actually saying what he means for once.  It’s just very very unfortunate that he decided to do it after he went out of his way to consciously use her as a cover.  She is 100% in her rights to be upset at him for this.  And I think this episode is a very well done blend of sympathy for her even though she’s ‘annoying’ us with her antics (because we’re seeing this through Matteo’s eyes and she’s annoying the hell out of him) and the giddy delight we’re then invited to feel as we watch Matteo and David literally run away from the scene.

And I mean... I don’t feel like there’s much more to be said about this clip that hasn’t been said a billion times before, but of course this is one of those clips that sticks with you.  It’s version number 5 billion proving just how much they are on the same wavelength.  There’s a sense when David proposes the ‘holding breath’ game that it’s a lot more of the same silliness that we later see them indulging in in the video Matteo watches.  Unlike Even, who proposes it because he’s not really sure of his reception, I don’t think David is really in any doubt.  So the tension in this scene is entirely different - it’s not a case of if this is going to happen, but more when.  And I love the small changes that this show has made to the original.  Each of them fits their own characters so well and it’s nice to see those tweaks being made to make it work in the new setting/environment.

Of course, I can’t really go away without mentioning how absolutely wonderful this setting is.  I love then fact that there’s no true baptism here as there is for Isak (he is able to truly be ‘himself’ once he’s emerged from that pool after kissing Even), but for Matteo and David there is still a sense of a shared fantasy - they still have to spend time developing into being able to live in a ‘real’ world and in a real way.  So the switch/homage to the pool works on two levels - as a reflection of the original with a twist, and also as a reflection of the ‘unreal’ nature of where Matteo and David are rn in their relationship.  I just really love the symbolism of this space and it’s also just really beautiful.  The acting, the colours, the way the space echoes.  It’s all just really lovely.

[so-writing]

Sugar, Honey, Ice and Tea- Matthew Tkachuk (20)

all parts here

“It’s about fucking time!” 

“Holy shit, he finally did it!” 

“Go, Chucky, get your girl!”

The shouts from the team when they saw the two of you together were as loud as ever and everyone seemed to be celebrating.

“We’re still just friends,” you reminded Matthew and removed his arms from your waist.

“I know,” he shouted after you as you quickly skated away from him.

“So shut your friends up!”

You’d just told yourself that it didn’t matter what the team and their families thought but seeing them, and hearing them cheer on whatever was happening with you and Matthew had you trying to put as much space between the two of you as possible. 

It was easy to think about the two of you when you were alone in a hotel room with one bed, or were in only ones in the hallway at work, or anywhere else where it was just you and him but letting everyone else in wasn’t something you were ready for. You weren’t sure you would ever be ready for it, because it would mean actually letting your guard down. Not just with Matthew, but with everyone around the both of you and thought of doing so wasn’t something you could see yourself doing anytime soon.

You could never picture a time in your life where it was acceptable for Matthew Tkachuk to wrap his arms around you or pull you into a kiss with his teammates and your bosses surrounding you and easily supporting it like it was nothing. 

 The room was starting to get hot and your skates were bothering you. Scanning the wood rink, you found Matthew at the other end fucking around with a few of the guys.  His team, his friends were here now. That meant you probably didn’t need to be, and you doubted he’d notice if you slipped out and took an Uber home. 

*

“Have you seen the girl I came in with, before everybody else got here?”

Matthew had gotten a little too caught up in spending some off time with the guys that he kind of abandoned her. He hoped she was off somewhere socializing with someone else and wouldn’t be be bothered. After checking the entire place and speaking to a bunch of people who claimed they hadn’t seen her in a while, he found himself talking to the girl behind the skate rental counter. 

“She left, turned in her skates like twenty-five minutes ago.”

“What? Did she happen to say why?”

“Nope, just gave back her skates, told me to have a good day and headed out.”

His head was spinning and his feelings were more than a little hurt. They were having fun before everyone else arrived, at least he thought so. What had changed?

“You good, man?”

“Yeah, thank you.”

Matthew replaced his skates with his shoes and set them underneath the table. He couldn’t just leave what was supposed to be a team event, but he needed to know what happened and stepped outside to make the phone call.

Her phone rang twice before she answered. 

“Hello?”

“Uh, hi. What the fuck?”

It came out angrier than intended but fine, maybe he was a little angry. 

“What?”

“You just bailed on me. Why?”

“I just assumed now that everyone was there you’d want to spend time with them. You rarely get to do fun stuff like this with them so I just figured..”

“I get to skate with them everyday. It’s literally my job. I wanted to spend time with you,” he paused for a second to recover, “as friends, obviously.”

At least the first part was true. 

“Oh.”

Oh? That was all she had to say?

“Well, I need to get back inside so I guess I’ll just see you when I see you.” 

“Ok,” he was too irritated and hurt to notice that her voice had gone just a little bit softer. 

*

Matthew ended the call without saying goodbye and you knew you fucked up. He hadn’t been paying much attention to you though, and he looked like he was having so much fun, and maybe you were a little scared that people would get the wrong idea if you hung around him the entire time. 

That’s what friends did though, right? Spent time together? You knew you couldn’t go back to the rollerskating rink and face him, but you knew you couldn’t leave things the way they were. 

His phone went to voicemail after the normal amount of ringing, which you figured would happen. He definitely wasn’t going to be waiting around for you to get in touch with him after ditching the hangout. 

“Look Matt,” you went casual hoping it would soften him a bit, “I’m really sorry I left. I honestly didn’t think you’d be mad but clearly I was wrong. If I’m being honest, this thing happening between us is the most confusing relationship, if you can even call it that, that I’ve ever had and I’m having a really hard time navigating it. Again, I’m sorry for ditching you. I guess I’ll see you at work. I hope you still have fun today.”

++

You were pretty deep into the second season of “The Circle” and a ten piece spicy nuggets from Wendy’s when your phone vibrated. It was a text from Matthew and you were scared to read it. 

So you decided not to, not yet anyway. Hopping off the couch, you headed into the kitchen and poured yourself a considerable glass of wine and downed it like it was a shot of tequila, and then you did it a second time. After that, you grabbed the barely touched bottle of tequila from your cabinet and poured yourself a shot, tossing it back with no chaser. 

It was too much at once but you got comfortably tipsy pretty quickly and decided that it was time to open his message. 

Get out of your fucking head and just hang out with me. We’re trying to be friends, not work out how to handle an arranged marriage. I’ll be home tonight, head up if you want

If he was offering, who were you not to take him up on it?

*

Someone was pounding entirely too aggressively on Matthew’s door and he had an idea of who it might be.

“Jesus, I have neighbors!” 

Matthew pulled her into his apartment and shut the door behind them. He noticed her slightly glazed eyes and the silly smile on her lips, “why are you only cool with me when you’re drunk?”

“I’m not drunk,” she defended, “just nicely tipsy.”

“Come on,” he lead her into the kitchen and thrust a bottle of water into her hands, “drink this.”

“Fine,” she huffed but did it anyway and he couldn’t deny how cute he thought that was. 

She downed the water and seemed to be a little more stable but he wasn’t sure.

“You want to come watch TV with me?”

“Depends, what are you watching?” 

“The Circle.”

“Which season?!” 

She lit up at his response and fuck, that was fucking adorable too.

“Second season, you watch it?”

“Yes! I’m on the tenth episode!”

“I’m only on the second, do you mind watching stuff you’ve already seen?”

“Not at all, I love this show!”

She fell asleep with her head on his chest within twenty minutes and he didn’t dare try and move her so he continued watching the episodes in the same position and finally let himself fall asleep when Netflix asked if he was ‘still watching?’

*

You woke up on a couch you didn’t recognize with your head on a chest you weren’t familiar with. It wasn’t until you stretched your arms and your hand slid into a mess of curls that you realized where you were. 

“Fuck,” his voice was heavy with sleep, “you’re going to have to fuck me if you want to pull my hair like that.”

“Shit,” he was up quickly and practically shoving you off of him, “I didn’t mean that.”

“Jesus, Matthew,” you chuckled at the expression on his face and stood up from the couch to stretch, “this is the worst couch I’ve ever slept on. I thought you had money?” 

“Shut up.”

He ran a hand through his curls as he stood up and you couldn’t stop yourself from watching. Matthew was only dressed in a pair of basketball shorts that hung low on his hips. You counted his abs and wished you had been sober when you slept on them because then you could have truly appreciated them. 

“Eyes on mine,” a smug smile sat on his lips, “you’ve had plenty of looks, no more until you’re willing to return the favor.” 

Matthew Tkachuk was an irritating, annoying pest and an overall pain the fucking ass but he was lovely to look at and you’d always known it. If he could be a scandalous flirt, so could you.

“I could say the same to you. Your eyes have been below my neck since we got up and I think it has something to do with the tank top and shorts I’m wearing.”

He was standing in front of you now, his chest less than an inch from yours and the sexual tension radiating off the two of you was strong enough to cut diamond. 

“I’m looking respectfully,” he commented, “I respect the fact that you are beautiful and that I don’t just want to be your friend. I, respectfully, want so much more than that.” 

There it was fucking was. Matthew didn’t want to be your friend, and you didn’t want to be his either. 

“I’m going to, respectfully, tell you that I don’t want to be your friend either. Also, respectfully, I’d like you to ruin me, Matthew Tkachuk.”

[waynedunlaptheorgandonor]

so. that was some straight up horror movie shit, huh? for an episode with no daryl or princess i had a surprisingly good time

just gonna do a highlight reel bc it’s so very much past my bedtime

on mobile, can’t do a cut, sorry, etc

spoilers commencingggg

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now:

-HOW THE FUCK ARE THEY GONNA KILL OFF DUNCAN AND ELIJAH (and that one chick, agatha?) IN ONE FELL SWOOP, BUT THEN LET SKYRIM NPC ALDEN SURVIVE?

-that’s some straight up bullshit, man

-fun fact: i 110% forgot that skryim npc alden used to be a negan brony until he talked shit about it in front of negan lol

-anyway, just had to get that off my chest

-negan’s role this entire episode, and actually this entire season so far, is “character with common sense who has been dropped into a scenario where everyone around him is acting like a white person in a horror movie” and it’s very funny

-“so we’re just gonna go /towards/ the screaming, then?” i lol’d

-the cut scenes between Maggie & Others being stuck in a psychological horror film juxtaposed with Carol & The Girls being in a late 90s horse girl adventure movie was very funny

-some of maggie’s scenes straight up freaked me tf out tho, ngl. it felt like that one episode of black mirror, the title of which escapes me and i’m too lazy to look it up, but you know, the one with the people in animal masks chasing the lady?

-it’s actually gonna bother me if i don’t look it up, hold on

-white bear

-anyway

-my face was like this for a good half of the episode:

-the reapers are super fucked up, dude, they legit freak me out. i am looking forward to daryl meeting up with leah and having to be like “oh! so actually you’re an insane person! good to know!”

-the score for the reapers is really good, too. better than the whisperer’s score and that one slapped

-rosita and carol’s interaction was very nice because it was refreshing to have carol interact with other women on the show, and it was also very funny because the entire interaction amounted to: “so i’ve been having some fucked up dreams about abraham” “that sounds unpleasant” “yeah, i think they’re prophetic” “what’s the message?” “who knows? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ idk why i told you that, lol, anyway, next topic”

-i’m sure that won’t become relevant later

-magna (i remembered her name) hugging carol and carol being like “literally what is happening?” was sweet

-i like, knew that they were gonna have to eat horse at some point, but having them bring the horses back to alexandria all triumphant and smiling, and then immediately cutting to carol slitting one of their throats and crying while covered in blood was -chefs kiss-

-the children were a fucking delight, ofc. hershel jr. is literally mini glenn, i can’t handle it. him and judith have great, adorable chemistry and i want them to be bffs

-(i like how they’re still giving rj one or two word lines bc he’s still a terrible child actor lol)

-did i hit all the parts i cared about?

-oh. i don’t care about gabriel that much (and kind of resent him bc i still don’t understand how rosita could be banging siddiq and then pick fucking gabriel over him, like wtf??) but him being like “god isn’t here anymore” and stabbing that guy was entertaining

-magna telling carol to not give kelly false hope and then carol immediately disregarding that and doing whatever the fuck she wants was very on brand

-anything else?

-probably, but my brain is fried and i’m p sure most of this review is gibberish as is, i don’t need to add any more to it

-i’m really digging s11 so far. gonna need me some princess to balance out the darylrrhea, tho i’m actually anticipating that to be juicy and since i’m avoiding all discourse i might be able to enjoy it anxiety free

-well

-anxiety limited

-i was also thinking about how carol still has leah’s knife. you think there might be a showdown between the two of them? or a “daryl has to pick who to save” sort of situation?

-don’t actually answer that, i don’t want to know

-but also 🤔

-i should really read through this and see if it makes any sense but i’m not gonna. sorry ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

k the end, bye,

-diz

p.s. are they gonna keep dropping episodes a full week in advance? i wasn’t expecting this one to drop today. i saw an article on my fucking chrome homepage (bc ofc i did), otherwise i wouldn’t have even thought to check. don’t they usually drop like the thursday or friday before? i’m getting rly mixed up being a week ahead of the actual air dates. amc premiere is a clusterfuck, but whatever gets me through the season faster i suppose

k the end for real

[maybeacrowdedmind]

So I Just Finished Skam...

First of all, I loved it. It was an incredible show and I'm so glad that there are so many remakes because I enjoyed it so much. One of my favorite things about the show was the fact that it feels extremely realistic, and I think a lot of that is due to the fact that a majority of the actors were actual teenagers (rather than actors who are obviously in their mid 20s and playing characters who are 16) and the fact that the characters behaved like actual teenagers (like using Facebook and Instagram, using "bad" language, dancing and singing along to music, etc. etc.). The other thing I adored about this show was the amount of importance that was placed on friendship. Platonic relationships in fiction are normally vastly underrated or underdeveloped in favor of romantic ones, so I appreciated that Skam showed so many friendships. So I decided to make a list of my favorite friendship moments from each season (two moments per season, with honorable mentions at the end before moving on).

Season 1:

1) Noora cheering up Eva by singing Justin Bieber to her:

I am not a fan of Justin Bieber at all (if you like him, all the more power to you, but I personally can't stand him), but Noora singing to Eva was such a great moment. She knew how sad Eva was, and decided to cheer her up by sharing something that made her (Noora) happy, and it was a really sweet moment between friends. It was also something that is realistic to do when someone you care about is down, and even though it was a small scene, it showed how strong a friendship Noora and Eva have.

2) All of the bonding moments between Sana, Vilde, Eva, Noora, and Chris:

I know this is a vague one, but just the sheer amount of time the girls spend together, whether they are doing something important or just hanging out was really awesome to see. Most of the time, tv shows don't take time to show us little moments like characters talking about boys or just sitting hanging out unless it has a more dramatc purpose. With Skam, we got to see those moments, which made the friendship between the girls that much more realistic.

Honorable Mentions for Season 1:

Eva grabbing the wrong Chris for Vilde, leading both Chris and Penetrator Chris (love that nearly everyone calls him that in the show by the way) to share a huge hug and go "name twins!" because that's totally something I'd do if I met someone who shared my name.

Eva and Ingrid finally talking about everything that happened, giving them both closure and the ability to move on, even if their friendship would never be the same (this was such a great scene because it showed Eva apologizing and telling Ingrid that she couldn't change what she did, but she would if she could, and it also allowed Ingrid to be hurt by what happened with Jonas, because let's face it, Ingrid was the injured party in that particular situation).

Season 2:

1) Noora telling Vilde all of the important things that the ingredients for tortilla do for you, and Vilde later doing the same for Noora:

I love how all of the girls take care of one another, but this scene in particular I loved a lot. Noora has noticed that Vilde hasn't been eating, and after hearing Vilde tell her all the reasons she doesn't like potatoes, Noora tells Vilde all the reasons she should. Noora also does so in a way that isn't shaming Vilde or being condescending to her, rather, Noora brings it up in a casual conversation. Later, Vilde notices Noora not eating, and prepares tortilla for her, quoting what Noora told her about potatoes and eating it with her. I loved this scene because it showed how much Noora and Vilde understood one another, as well as the importance of support.

2) The amount of support given to Noora by the girls after she discloses what happened with Nico:

This one is a total no-brainer. Noora had no idea what had happened that night, and had very little to go off of, and she spent the next few episodes terrified. When she tells the girls what she thinks might have happened, they all immediately stop what they're doing and rally around her. The no-dialogue scene in which they take Noora to the doctor and hold her and keep her safe was incredibly touching, and to be honest, nearly made me tear up.

Honorable Mentions for Season 2:

Sana and Chris playing a joke on the girls at the cabin during their break, because that whole episode was hilarious, and the individual ways each girl reacted was totally in character for each of them.

All of the girls telling Noora that they knew about her and William, because it was the most obvious thing in the world, and Noora being sheepish and surprised that she hadn't been hiding it as well as she thought.

Season 3:

1) Jonas, Magnus, and Mahdi telling Isak what to text Even:

This scene was so funny, and not the type I usually get to see when it comes to male friendships. I love that Isak tells them that he has no idea how to reply to Even, and Jonas tells him what he should say, with Magnus and Mahdi inserting their opinions and talking about how they text girls. It was enjoyable to watch because too many times fiction shows us that boys don't have the same relationship confusion that girls do, and it's often not true. I like that this scene allowed the boys to just be boys, because everybody deals with uncertainty, especially when it comes to liking someone.

2) Linn and Even playing video games together:

I know this scene is literally like two seconds and that we only see them ending from Isak's perspective, but hear me out. I'm pretty sure this is the first scene we see that shows Linn actively smiling and looking happy. Also, Even had just come off of a manic episode, was feeling depressed, and when we see him playing video games with Linn, he too looks actually happy, which is always great to see. Plus, the way Linn and Even are interacting with one another, it looks like they've known each other forever rather than two people who have just met, and even though it was a fraction of a scene, it was super great to watch.

Honorable Mentions for Season 3:

The entire development of Sana and Isak's friendship (I almost broke my "only two friendship moments" per season rule for this, but I decided to stick to my guns). Isak and Sana have a great friendship and I love how it came out of nowhere. Their friendship is literally started by being partnered together for school, which only happened because Sana sat by Isak to tell him that she had the weed he hid (a beautiful start to a beautiful friendship).

Isak coming out to Jonas by telling him that he liked someone and giving him the hint that it wasn't a girl, and Jonas reacting by thinking about the hint for a minute and then going "it's not me...is it?" because the expression Jonas had on his face while he thought about who it could be was funny because it looked like the fact that Isak had just come out to him wasn't even on his radar, because he was more concerned about guessing right, and the fact that he guessed himself was humorous to me.

Season 4:

1) Chris being a total ride-or-die friend to Sana after the stuff regarding the hate accounts for Sara and Vilde came out:

Everybody needs a friend like Chris. She is without a doubt one of the most loyal tv show characters I've seen and I wish Skam had run for more seasons so we could get a Chris season (and a Vilde season and an Even season, and a spin-off for Eskild and Linn, who both totally deserve one). Chris is the first person Sana told about the Sara account, and the first thing she did was tell Sana that the hate would blow over if Eva found out the truth (because Eva and everybody else thought Isak was responsible for it, and Eva was pissed AF at him). Chris also made sure that Sana knew that she didn't hate her for what happened, because everybody screwed up (seriously, we all need a friend like Chris).

2) The girls showing up to the bus meeting in their own tiny bus named "Los Losers" for Sana, effectively showing all of the Pepsi-Max girls (like Penetrator Chris, that will forever be their name) that if you mess with one of them, you mess with all of them. Sana was terrified that the girls would never forgive her, and when they all show up in the bus screaming her name, the joy on Sana's face is practically tangible. I love that they all pull Sana into the bus and give the Pepsi-Max girls the finger as they drive off, because really, what better way to show the true bonds of friendship than by collectively flipping off a ton of girls who messed with one of their own.

Honorable Mentions for Season 4:

Sana and Even's friendship, and the fact that she protected and respected his privacy when Isak asked her why she never said that she already knew Even, because too many times do I see characters give away information to other people that isn't theirs to give, and the fact that it didn't matter to Sana that Isak and Even were together, she was still going to make sure that Even had a right to the details of his personal life was extremely important.

The conversation between Sana and Jamilla about their schooling and Islam, because the texts we see between them prior to their falling out show that they were very close, and it was nice to see them talk and reconcile, because that's how life works sometimes. You fight and fall out with people, and after time passes, sometimes there is reconciliation.