#she who became the sun had like i guess loads of stuff still happening at the end

[cruelsister-moved2]

I feel like almost every book I read lately no matter how long it is I end up completely losing steam for the last 15% or so, almost universally especially with newer books I really feel like it's the obsession with completeness like. so many books could be instantly improved by removing the last 10% to leave things more open and let the reader fill things in for themselves and finish your story on an emotionally high note rather than giving me like 40 pages of a completely different genre bc now this high fantasy collapses into a cutesy little slice of life thing while u tie up every possible loose end

[daryl-dixon-daydreams]

Words: 3,823 Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Reader Reader pronouns: she/her Era: Alexandria Warnings: Language, violence, mentions of suicide, gore, sexuality, fear and anxiety, disturbing imagery, typical TWD stuff A/N: This is part of a series! Find the previous parts on the Masterlist! Summary: Y/N heads outside of the walls for a distraction after the distressing day before. She returns in the evening to learn some concerning news.

Your name: submit What is this?

You woke early from fitful sleep plagued with the same old nightmares. It was still dark out and you knew no more sleep would come, so you decided to be productive again. Meat was always scarce, and after the news of Denise the day before, you needed a distraction. Not to mention having to relive old traumas… After quickly dressing, you stepped out on the porch into the cool morning air. Normally you would have asked Daryl if he wanted to join you, but the house across the street was still dark and you hoped that, for once, he was getting some sleep. Though with the events of the previous day, you really doubted it.

You grabbed your bow and headed for the gates. Sasha was on duty and she pulled it open for you with a kind but sad smile as you went out.

You spent all day outside the walls, engrossed in hunting, and it was after dark when you returned, hauling the rabbits with you over your shoulder. Tobin, a longtime Alexandria resident was on gate duty and you thanked him with a nod as you came in. He seemed particularly stoic but you attributed it to the prior day’s events. Denise was beloved by most of the people in town, especially since she had taken over after Pete’s demise… You made your way toward Aaron’s house and saw that the garage light was on and the door was open. You went in, expecting to find Daryl there tinkering on his bike, but the garage was empty and Daryl’s bike was distinctly missing. He must have parked it outside his place. You knocked on the door into the house and Eric answered it with Judith in his arms. You greeted them both with a smile but Eric’s face was grave and he was white as a sheet.

You throat tightened and your stomach dropped when you registered his expression. “What’s the matter?”

He gulped and stepped back to let you inside. “Have you been out all day?” he asked you.

“Yeah. Since before the sun was up,” you said, gesturing to the rabbits over your shoulder. Your heart started racing. “Eric—what’s going on?”

He shook his head and opened him mouth to speak but no sound came out. Turning on his heel he walked further inside and set Judith down on a blanket on the floor before he faced you again. “It’s—It’s bad,” he said seriously. “Carol left.”

Your brow contracted. “Left? What do you mean she left? Why? For how long?” Your thoughts immediately turned to Daryl. He and Carol were very close. You were sure he was worried, angry. He’d probably try to go after her.

“She left a note. I—I don’t think she’s coming back,” Eric said softly.

You paused for a moment. “Did Daryl go after her?”

“Rick and Morgan did. Daryl was already gone when they headed out.”

You stomach lurched and your head spun. “Gone—Gone where?”

Eric just stared at you.

Your breathing was speeding up. “Gone where?”

He averted his eyes and shrugged. “Best guess is back to where… it happened. To try and track them.”

You felt like you had been punched. “No. No, no, no,” you murmured, more to yourself than to Eric. “I—no. He can’t.” You tried to heave in a breath but your lungs felt tight. “I need to sit down,” you gasped, practically collapsing into a nearby chair as your knees felt like they were giving out.

“Glenn, Michonne, and Rosita went after him this morning,” he said quickly. Your eyes shot up to his face.

“Okay…” You waited expectantly for more details.

“But—they left early and none of them are back yet.” He looked mortified that he had to be the one to unload all this information on you.

You hung your head into your hands. “Oh my God. No… Fuck! Shit!” You stood up abruptly, the brace of rabbits forgotten and paced the length of the kitchen. “Okay. Okay. So, I’ll get some of the others and—and we’ll go look for them. Right? I’ll go find them and we’ll bring them back,” you said, more to yourself than Eric.

He winced, his expression regretful, anxious. “There’s… there’s something else.”

“Are you fucking kidding me? Isn’t that enough?!”

He grimaced. “Rick came back after he and Morgan went out. They think Carol had a run in with some of the Saviors not too far from here. Morgan stayed out to follow her trail. They think she might be hurt but they don’t know. But when Rick came back—Maggie is sick. Very sick.”

“Sick how?”

“She—she thinks something with the baby. She was in a lot of pain… Rick loaded everyone up to get her to Dr. Carson at The Hilltop.”

You mind was whirring. “Okay. Okay…” You sat there, trying to process all this, wringing your hands. “Goddammit!” you said, taking your head in your hands again. “What the hell?!” You looked up at Eric desperately. “Who all went to Hilltop?”

“Pretty much everyone. Aaron went. And they took Eugene to get treated too since he was awake. I volunteered to stay here and watch Judith.”

You stood up and paced the length of the room. “Goddammit, what the hell is Daryl thinking!? I told him! I told him not to—” You broke off, gritting your teeth. Your hands clenched into fists. You turned over your conversation with Daryl the night before. You realized he had never said he wouldn’t go after The Saviors who had killed Denise. You now realized he’d been very specific about which words he spoke.

Eric shrugged vaguely. “I know. But—he’s…”

You sighed and shut your eyes, pinched the bridge of your nose hard in an attempt to ground yourself with something. “I know.” You looked back at Eric desperately again. “What do we do?”

He shrugged, at a loss for words now. “I think there’s only one thing we can do.”

Your jaw clenched. “Wait.”

_ _ _ _ _ _

And you waited. And you waited. And you waited. You weren’t good at waiting, even in the best of times. You refused to sleep. You refused to eat. You stood watch at the top of the gate and stared into the darkness which became dawn which became mid-morning. Still there was no sign of anyone. Everything was too quiet. You felt more and more nauseous by the minute, your stomach turning with anxiety.

Finally, a vehicle came into view in the distance. You raised the scope of your rifle to your eye. The RV. It was the RV. You continued to watch as it approached and you could see that it was Rick driving. You finally lowered the scope and the nauseous feeling in your stomach changed to a hard pit.

He stopped at the gate and raised a hand to signal that it was alright to open the gate. You climbed down and yanked it open, letting him drive through. The back of the RV had barely cleared the gate when he shut off the engine. You rushed to await whatever was to come, but you had a feeling like pins and needles prickling up your spine and a heavy weight on your chest. It was hard to draw air.

The door opened and people began to step out. But their faces… they weren’t themselves anymore. They were changed.

You knew that look; that wide-eyed, hundred-yard stare, the terror in their eyes. You had seen it on yourself, on your brother, on many others after they tangled with Negan. You knew what it meant. And there seemed to be a lot of people missing. Your people missing. You forced in a breath and just watched as they stepped out. Who was there and who was missing? Rick came around from the other side, and if possible, he looked worse than all of them.

“Rick…” you said, rushing over. He hardly seemed to hear you. “Rick!” You grasped his shoulders and his blue eyes, frantic and wide landed on your face.

“Judith?” he rasped, in a fog.

“She’s fine. She’s with Eric. Rick,” your voice broke off. You glanced at everyone who was pouring out of the RV, trying to take attendance.

“You were right,” he said, nodding almost imperceptibly. Tears were welling up in his eyes. “You were right. You were…” he trailed off.

Your eyes landed on Michonne and Rosita as they stepped out of the RV. “Daryl?” you demanded. You squeezed Rick’s shoulders to bring him back to you. “Daryl?!?” you urged.

He looked away down at his boots. His answer came in a whisper you almost couldn’t hear. He couldn’t look at you while he said it. “They have him.”

The breath was ripped from your lungs and your hands slipped from Rick’s shoulders. You staggered backwards, reeling. Suddenly Carl was there and he grasped your arm firmly. When you took in his expression, you were amazed that he looked better than anyone else. Of course he did. He’d grown up in this screwed up world during his formative years—he’d been at the prison when it fell, he’d had to put down his own mother… You, on the other hand, were spinning.

“He’ll be okay,” Carl said. “Daryl’s strong. He’ll fight.”

You shook your head. “That’s what I’m afraid of.”

Suddenly Aaron was beside you. You’d never seen him look worse. He was as white as a sheet and shaking. His eyes were wide, red, and puffy.

“Oh my God,” you launched yourself at him, grabbing him into a tight hug and unable to stop the tears from pouring down your face. “Oh my God.” He hugged you back weakly. You pulled back and looked at him, clasping his face in your hands. “You’re okay. You’re okay,” you said, doing your best to reassure him.

“I’m sorry,” he said weakly, shaking his head. “I’m so sorry.”

“Hey! Stop it. Stop. Everything—everything is going to be f—fine,” you said, pulling yourself back together while he was going to pieces. “You’re okay. Eric is okay.” You released your hold on your dear friend and nodded. “Go see Eric. Go home.” Aaron gave you another fearful and concerned look but you simply wiped the tear streaks from your cheeks and nodded. “I’m fine. Go home.”

You spun around again to look at the rest of the ragged group and started mentally going through the list of people who had gone out. “Maggie?!” you demanded suddenly.

“She’s at Hilltop,” Carl said. “Sasha stayed there, too.”

Your brow drew down low over your eyes. Something about that statement struck you as odd. “And Glenn?”

Now Carl looked away, and you could see light glistening in his eyes.

“No. No… Oh my God. No.” You put a hand out and had to lean on the RV, at risk of collapsing from the lightheadedness that flooded your brain.

Carl looked at you with a mixture of devastated and angry tears in his eyes. Your hand flew to cover your mouth and tears broke loose and streamed down your face again. You again glanced at the people wandering away toward Rick’s house. Michonne. Eugene. Rosita. Your eyes shot back to Carl, a sense of apprehension almost overwhelming you. “A—Abraham?”

Again, Carl shook his head.

He turned away from you, leaving you spinning, and grasped his dad’s arm. “Dad. Come on. Let’s go see Judith.”

You felt like you were going to be sick.

_ _ _ _ _ _

“I’ll go.”

Rick stared at you. “I—I can’t ask you to do that.”

“You aren’t asking,” you countered.

“I’ll go myself. I—”

“You’ve got kids. You’ve got a baby. Hell, you’ve got a whole town to look after now, Sheriff Grimes. And you need to get ready because they are coming. They’ll expect you to be here. You’re the leader. Just—I’ll go.” Rick watched the muscle in your jaw twitch. “You know I have to go.”

Rick heaved a sigh. He knew you’d go regardless of whether or not he wanted you to. He knew you did have to go. This was you and this was Daryl. “How?” he asked you. “How are you gonna get him back?”

“Don’t worry about that. That’s my job. I know more about Negan and that place than anyone. I will get him out. I promise you. I will get Daryl out.”

Rick let out a long slow exhale, with an edge to it like a growl. “I don’t suppose I have any real choice in the matter anyway,” he said.

“You don’t.”

Rick sighed again, rubbing a hand over the heavy stubble on his face.

“Rick, listen to me. They are going to come and the first thing they are going to do is take all your weapons and all your ammo. That inventory Olivia keeps of the armory? Burn it. And take some of the guns and ammo, just enough so they won’t suspect anything, and hide them outside the walls. Outside. If you hide them in here, they will find them. And when they do, someone else will die.”

Rick gulped and nodded. He felt like an icy hand had seized his heart in his chest. “Alright.”

“And there’s one more thing… Negan and his assholes—they cannot know that we are connected. Do you understand? You need to make sure that no one ever mentions me, okay? Like I don’t exist.”

Rick gave you a questioning look but nodded.

You gulped at the constriction in your throat. “I’ll tell you everything at some point but right now I need to go. I don’t want Daryl there a minute longer than he has to be. You understand everything?”

Rick nodded gravely. “Yeah. I’ve got it.” He hesitated. “Be careful.”

“I will.” You turned on your heel and went home to prepare.

_ _ _ _ _ _

You were concealed in the woods outside the nearest Savior outpost. It had taken you far longer to get there than you had hoped and you’d had to go pretty dark to find it… You killed more Saviors, but not all of them. Some you had kept alive for a little while, until they had given up their information on the location of the satellite outposts and lookouts. You glanced down at your jeans and t-shirt. They were filthy but still a bit too well kept. You wiped the walker blood on the blade of your knife on your shirt and then took the edge of it to your clothes, placing a rip here and poking a hole there. You looked at your arms. They were scratched and bruised from fighting your way through the woods, through walkers, through soldiers of The Saviors to get here. Good. You wanted it to look like you were having a shit time. You heaved in one last breath; your heart pounded. You were terrified, but the thought of Daryl being held by them sent an urgent shot of fearlessness through you. It had already been too long. You didn’t allow yourself to run through the what ifs… You gritted your teeth and stepped out of the woods, approaching the front of the outpost with your hands up.

The two guards in front saw you immediately. “Freeze! Don’t move!” Automatic weapons pointed at you.

You obeyed. They approached.

“Holy shit,” one of the men said as they got closer. He exchanged a look with the other.

“Son of a bitch,” the second man said matter-of-factly. “You gave us quite the run around, little lady. Negan had whole crews out looking for you.”

Your chest was heaving with nervous breaths. “I—I know. I made a mistake,” you muttered. You didn’t have to try to sound scared. You were. There was a quiver in your voice, but you knew it would work to your advantage. You wanted them to see you as helpless, scared.

“A big one,” the first man agreed. “Search her,” he said, nodding to his associate. He trained his gun on the center of your chest.

The second man frisked you, lingering a little too long with his hands on your body. He removed your knife from the sheath at your hip and clicked his tongue. “Damn. Too bad we can’t have some fun with her first,” he said, hungry eyes wandering over your body and back up to your face.

Revulsion twisted your stomach.

“Too bad,” the other agreed. “But you know what Negan said. She goes straight to him. What do you want? Why are you here?” he pressed.

“I—I want to come back,” you said quietly. “I can’t stay out here…”

This drew chuckles from them. “Negan was right,” one said to the other. “He called it.” He pressed the muzzle of his gun into your back. “Walk slow. Toward the building.”

“I’ll call it in. Damn, is he gonna be surprised. Might even throw us a bonus for bringing her in.” He raised his radio to his lips. “This is Rich at satellite outpost Beta-2. Repeat, this is Rich at outpost Beta-2. Anyone copy?” There was a brief burst of static before another voice responded through the speaker.

“I copy Rich. This is D at Sanctuary. What do you need? Over.”

“We’ve recovered a wanted individual who fled Sanctuary. How would you like us to proceed? Please advise. Over.”

There was another pause. The other man grabbed your wrists roughly and zip-tied them together behind your back, cruelly tight.

“Who do you have?” came the voice again.

“We’ve got Y/N.” He said it with relish and his eyes flew to your face again, a small smirk on his face.

The pause this time was even longer and your stomach turned. What if this wasn’t going to play out as you thought it would? What if he just decided to kill you? Then Daryl may never get out… Finally, the voice responded again. “Negan wants her brought here to Sanctuary immediately. Secure her and get her here now.”

It was done. You were going back.

You were thrown roughly into the back seat of a truck and once you were in, they zip-tied your ankles together too. The whole ride, the man in the passenger seat stared at you while he spun your knife with the point stuck down into the center console. Your heart never slowed from its sprinting in your chest.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, you saw the familiar building coming into view and the truck stopped at the double doors. The man in the passenger seat cut the zip-tie around your ankles and soon you were roughly pulled out of the back of the truck by the elbow. You were pushed toward the double doors and forced inside. The sounds, the smell of the place brought memories flooding back to you and you began to feel lightheaded as you were herded up the stairs. You were met at the top by two of Negan’s apparent lieutenants, Simon and Dwight.

Simon was glaring at you and his nostrils flared. “Well, looky what the cat dragged in, Dwight.” He let out a low whistle. “What can I do for you, Y/N? Oh, and may I just say that you look like shit.”

You gulped at the lump in your throat. “I want to talk to Negan,” you said quietly. You glanced at Dwight beside Simon and that’s when you noticed that most of the left side of his face and ear were horrifically scarred—burned. When you had been at Sanctuary, Dwight and his wife and her sister were workers with you and your brother. You had gathered from what Daryl said that Dwight had escaped and ended up going back. Now he had moved up to being one of Negan’s right-hand men.

You let out a gasp as Simon backhanded you across the face hard. You tasted blood from a split in your bottom lip. “Of course, you want to see the big man,” he growled, stepping right up into your face. “You’ll see him when we say you can see him.” Simon grabbed you roughly by the elbow and dismissed the two men who had brought you in from the outpost. “Let me escort you to your accommodations, Y/N. I reckon you’ll find them familiar.” Soon you were in front of a metal door with a ‘#1’ painted on it; the cell you’d been held in when you’d first been brought to The Sanctuary with your group. Simon’s grip on your arm was like a vice. He smirked as he yanked the door open and shoved you inside, into the blackness. “Enjoy,” he snarked. “I’ll be sure to have fresh towels and the room service menu sent right up.”

“Simon—” you started, but you were cut off when he slammed the heavy door in your face, leaving you now in complete darkness.

Fuck. Was this what Negan had said to do with you? You had a hunch it wasn’t… Simon was a prick. He was volatile. You were willing to bet that he had taken it on himself to teach you a little lesson before taking you to see Negan. The zip ties on your wrists were cutting into you and it was nearly impossible to get comfortable with your arms pinned behind your back the way they were. You shifted your position on the floor and tried to alleviate some of the pressure.

You had no idea how long you sat there in the darkness, but it was at least several hours before you heard voices and boot steps on the other side of the door. You pressed your back into the wall and managed to stagger up to your feet. When the door cracked open, the light coming in even from just the dim overhead lights in the hall seemed blinding and you winced. At first all you could see were silhouettes in front of you.

But as they came into focus and your eyes adjusted you saw that it was Simon and Dwight, this time followed by the man himself, Negan… complete with leather jacket and his signature baseball bat slung over his shoulder.

[joezworld]

He is Speed

For #railpril2021, here’s an entry for the LNER J70. 

You know which one.

-

Toby the tram engine is kept very busy by his work on Thomas’ branch line. Between his runs to the Anopha Quarry, his passenger services, and any odd jobs he might be assigned, he works hard every day. 

That does cause a few problems though, as Toby is an old engine with a body made primarily of wooden planks. He was never designed for the hard work that the North Western Railway puts him through, and so his planks rattle and shake whenever he moves. No matter what the men do, the wood eventually works itself loose over time and falls out, leaving his cab even draftier than normal! 

While the men at Ffarquhar sheds can fix one or two of the planks should they fall out, major carpentry work is beyond them. As a result, Toby has to go to the works at Crovan’s Gate every six months to have his siding inspected, refinished, and sometimes replaced.

Going to the works is a big process for branch line engines - they aren’t fast enough to keep up with main line timetables, and their small water tanks means that they usually can’t get from Knapford to Crovan’s Gate without a water stop. Thomas and Percy get around this by going on a flatbed wagon, but the loading is a time-consuming process that Toby dislikes, especially because he has to do it twice a year. 

So, many years ago, he put his wheel down and refused to go on a wagon anymore.

---

 September 2005 - Knapford

“Ah still do nae see why I have to do stuff like this.” Siobhan groused. “Not having tae dawdle on the main line all day is why ah took this job. An’ I’m no’ even driving - I’m firin’ like I’m a new hire!” 

The newly-minted “Senior Steam Locomotive Driver” had walked into her first day at the job expecting to get a turn at Gordon’s throttle on the Midday Express, or maybe a nice uninterrupted day on the Little Western with her Dads, but instead was met with: Venkataramany: 0C01 [09:33] NWR 98107: KFD→CVN

“If I told you it was a hazing thing, would it make you feel better?” Robert, the Chief Traction Inspector said as they crossed the footbridge over the tracks. 

“No’ after watchin’ that harassment video from HR.” She grumbled. “An’ even if this was tha’, why would ye be here? Ye've too much seniority - ye should laughin’ at me from Gordon’s cab or something.”

“Fine,” Robert stopped and pointed at Toby, who was sitting in the goods yard surrounded by workers who were removing his side plates. “He is the reason we are here. Nobody else will go on this run except Mister Hatt himself.” 

“What? Why?” Siobhan was baffled. She’d driven Toby many times and found him to be a pleasant engine to drive, fire, and speak with. 

“You wouldn’t believe me it I told you.” He said grimly. Siobhan watched in increasing confusion as the man hopped down onto the ballast and trudged across the yard like a condemned man going to the gallows. 

“Robert!” Toby called as they walked up. “How wonderful to see you again!”

Robert grumbled something unprintable under his breath and hopped into Toby’s cab without another word. After a moment, an oil can came sailing out of the cab door, Siobhan barely catching it in time. 

“Oi!” She shouted, to no avail. 

Toby looked sympathetic. “Don’t mind him. He’s always cranky when he has to do this run. I don’t think my cab agrees with him that much.”

“This run doesn’t agree with anyone, you Sociopathic Garden Shed!” Robert bellowed from the cab. 

Siobhan and the workmen shared an astonished glance as Toby chuckled to himself. 

“You get used to that after a while.” He said quietly. 

“Okaaay...” Siobhan said slowly as she took the oil can and began working over Toby’s valve gear. 

Toby’s very elaborate valve gear.

“Toby,” She asked slowly. “Have ye always had a Walschaerts motion?”

“Why yes I have.” The tram said jovially. “But don’t worry - it’s hidden behind my sideplates most of the time, so it’s hard to notice.”

“Never thought that drivin’ Gordon would be applicable ‘ere.” She muttered to herself as she oiled the valve gears. Walschaerts motions were extremely common on steam engines around the world, but here on the island, practically every other engine on the Island except Percy had inside cylinders. Gordon and Henry were the only ones with this type of valve gear, and it was a surreal experience to service an “express engine” valve gear on an engine that, to put it politely, was deeply not. 

 After an oiling job worthy of Gordon, Siobhan clambered into the cab, waved goodbye to the workers, who were carrying away Toby’s sideplates for storage, and stoked up the fire. His coal bin and water tanks were full, but they were so small that this run had a timetabled stop at Killdane to pick up more. 

As they set off - with Robert looking even grimmer than before - she dug through her crew bag and pulled out the schedule again. The timing didn’t seem to match. 

“Rob!” She shouted over the noise of Toby’s chuffing. “How come we’re scheduled into Killdane at ten past ten? That’s express timing!” 

“You’ll see.” Robert said darkly as they rumbled onto the main line. 

“See what?” She said pointlessly - Robert was more interested in viewing the line ahead through Toby’s small cab windows, and she needed to keep the fire tended - Toby wasn’t a bad steamer, but today he seemed to be intent on keeping a rather high steam pressure considering the light run. 

As they approached the points at the station’s far end, Robert reached behind the regulator and plucked a small metal collar from its spot on Toby’s regulator. “No going back now.” He said quietly, pocketing the speed governor.

Then they rattled over the points , and Toby shifted slightly. 

“This is the fast line!” Siobhan said to Robert as they rolled out onto the center tracks. 

“I know.” Robert was the picture of grim determination, his hands turning white as he held Toby’s throttle in a tight grip with one hand, and braced himself against the cab wall with the other. 

Slowly, he inched the regulator forwards. As he did so, the excess steam pressure in Toby’s system, with some help from the engine himself, grabbed at the internal mechanism and yanked the lever out of Robert’s hand. 

Toby accelerated rapidly, and Siobhan shrieked as she was thrown backwards into the coal pile. 

“Hold on to something!” Robert cried. “He’s not gonna stop unless he has to!” 

“What?! Who’s not going to stop?” Siobhan had no idea what was going on. 

The noise level inside the cab increased dramatically in line with their speed, and whatever Robert said was lost in the clatter. Above their heads, Toby’s bell began shaking in the wind so much that it began wildly swinging back and forth, adding a further layer of sound. 

-

Wellsworth Station

“-and so then I said - Oh hello, the signal’s changed.” BoCo broke off of his story and looked down the main line. “I wonder who’s coming. The Express has gone already.” 

“I don’t know.” Replied Edward. 

They both looked down the line towards Tidmouth. The signal block that protected Wellsworth station was only a mile or so in length, so they should find out who was coming soon enough. 

“Do you hear that?” BoCo said after a few seconds. 

“I do. Whatever could it be?”

“It sounds like dinging.”

“Who dings on this railway?”

“Well, Toby does, but that can’t be him-”

At that moment, a whistle sounded in the distance. It sounded like Toby’s whistle. 

BoCo’s brows rose in surprised confusion. “If that is Toby, he just crossed the lane by the McColl’s farm.”

“But that’s half a mile from the signal, and-”

“He did it in less than thirty seconds.”

The dinging grew louder. 

“Can he even go that fast?”

The sounds of an engine became audible as it grew nearer. It was making a considerable racket, and it sounded like it was moving fast. 

The dinging continued to get louder and louder. 

Suddenly, an engine became visible from around the curve. It was brown, it was square, and it was easily doing sixty as it charged through the station. It whistled a quick “Hello!” and was gone, leaving a trail of thick black smoke in its wake. 

Both engines stared at the dissipating trail of smoke. 

“Well,” Said Edward once he picked his jaw off of his bufferbeam. “I guess he can.”

-

Killdane 

Abbey and Dane were sunning themselves in the yard. Now that the Fat Controller had brought in new electric engines for the line, everyone had a chance to rest between trains. 

Speaking of trains, one was arriving now. She lazily opened one eye to see Toby arriving at the station, as he did every six months or so. 

“Dane, look,” She whispered, causing the other engine to open his eyes. “The show’s about to start.”

Toby rolled to stop near the water tower and coal bin. Barely a second had gone by after that when his cab door was thrown open and his crew staggered out. The older man, one of the inspectors, slowly staggered off to a bench on the platform, while the other, a younger woman whom Abbey usually saw with Donald and Douglas, berated him about something. Her words weren’t audible, but the strong Scottish accent carried across the yard. 

This continued as she dragged the water hose over to Toby, and began moving coal into his bunker. Toby’s coal bunker was located inside his cab, so this involved a lot of wheelbarrows and shoveling. The woman seemed to be displeased that she was doing all the work, and emphasized her point to the inspector by dumping a shovel-full of coal over his head. 

The ensuing chase around the platform with shovels of coal had both electric engines crying with laughter, so they couldn’t quite see how it happened that a few shovels were thrown in Toby’s face as well, but that didn’t stop them from laughing even harder.

Eventually, all the coal was loaded, and the damp pair of humans (the water hose hadn’t been put away without a fight) clambered back into Toby. 

The steam tram looked over to Abbey and Dane, a mischievous smile broaching his coal-streaked face. “I hope you two enjoyed yourselves!” He called as the signal dropped.

He made it a few feet onto the main line before he surged ahead suddenly. Inside his cab, shouting and swearing could be heard as both crew were thrown off their feet. 

Abbey and Dane howled with laughter. 

-

Kellsthorpe Road

“Thomas! Funny seeing you here!” Fred the stationmaster called out. He’d previously been in charge of Dryaw station before moving to station across the Island to be with his family five months ago, and it had been almost that long since he’d last seen Thomas. 

“Fred! It’s been too long!” Thomas said, and immediately began catching up with his old friend. 

In front, Gordon rolled his eyes. Thomas was a regular chatterbox on a normal day, but when he was allowed to be dead weight on a flat car he practically metamorphosed into a social butterfly, and never stopped talking. 

At least nobody is commenting on me, he thought to himself. It was deeply unusual for an engine of his stature to be on a slow goods train, but James had wanted to try his luck on the midday express, and a complicated series of past favours had meant that Gordon had “owed him one”, and was obligated to switch jobs. 

I’d have rather owed James two than have to deal with this. 

Minutes passed, and the signal hadn’t changed, nor had Thomas stopped talking. One of those things wasn’t unusual, but the other was. The signal didn’t stay red that long unless a train was coming into the station - a holdover from when the Kellsthorpe road actually crossed the railroad tracks and time was needed to shut the gates - but there was no train scheduled to come through at this point, at least not a regularly scheduled one. 

Looking down the tracks, a plume of smoke and steam could be seen in the distance. That was equally unusual, as the only “up bound” steam train due within the next hour was James, and that train hadn’t even left Tidmouth yet. 

Presently, the source of the steam resolved itself into a distant engine. It looked strange, almost like it was pushing a van in front of it, but that was preposterous - they were moving fast enough that - oh. It was that time of the year, wasn’t it?

“I say, Thomas,” He called back to his cargo. “Have you ever seen Toby when he goes to the works?” 

“No? Why?” Thomas sounded confused. Excellent.

“Well, he’s coming along right now. Perhaps you can say hello to him.”

“Oh! Is Toby coming?” Fred asked, looking at his schedule of trains. “Why’s he doing it on the fast line?” 

“Probably to show him what it’s like!” Thomas joked. “It’s not like he can move much faster than a snail!”

Gordon eyed the approaching brown blur. “I’d rethink that statement Thomas.”

“Why? I’m not wrong - what’s that dinging sound?”

Toby rocketed through the station in a cloud of smoke and dust. Anything on the platform not nailed down was shaken and rocked by his passage. A cleaner was changing out the litter bins on the platform as Toby went by, and the contents of an open full bag of litter were lifted into the air and sent flying in all directions by his wake. 

The station was silent after that. Gordon watched as crisp wrappers settled down on every flat surface, suddenly glad he was on the slow lines and out of the direct line of fire. 

The signal dropped, indicating that Toby had cleared the station on the other end, and Gordon set off.

Thomas was mercifully silent all the way to Knapford. 

-

Crovan��s Gate

They arrived on time. 

Robert stormed out of the cab without a word, marched across the works grounds, across the main line, and vanished into the station’s pub. Siobhan meanwhile was left to hand Toby over to the works crew and fill out the after-trip report. 

“Engine working to full capacity? If no, state problem...” She mumbled under her breath as she filled out the form, giving Toby the evil eye as she did so. 

He smiled impishly back at her. “I am in full working condition, I’ll have you know.”

“Engine has incurable case of smartarse. Recommend turning him into a feckin’ henhouse.” She glared. 

“I thought that you enjoyed my witty repartee and smooth steaming.”

“I think that you enjoy this.”

“Whatever gave you that impression?”

“Ah have a hunch.”

Toby smiled broadly. “An old engine needs to have some fun in his life. Although I am sorry about the coal dust.”

She buried her head in her clipboard, not caring that the forms were now smeared with coal dust and oil. “Jus’ warn me next time, alright?” 

The smile she got back was worrying. “You’ll probably have to take me back on Thursday. Is that enough warning?”

Siobhan considered it a moment of personal growth when she didn’t throw the clipboard at him. 

-

Thursday

“What in the everloving fuck are ye wearing.”

Siobhan stared at her employer in shock. When she’d heard that Stephen Hatt had volunteered to drive Toby back to Knapford with her, she’d expected to have a nice, quiet ride, one where Toby wouldn’t try and traumatize his driver/controller. 

But as she looked at the head of the railway, she developed a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. 

“I am wearing my work clothes, Siobhan.”

“So am I, but ah don’t look like ah stepped out of the Brunel Edition of GQ!”

He looked nothing like he usually did, with a pair of denim dungarees, a worker’s flat cap, and sturdy but ancient-looking work boots replacing his three piece suit, top hat, and wingtip shoes. A long railwayman’s coat, still bearing the BR Cycling Lion logo, was worn over the whole thing. A gold pocketwatch chain looped out of an interior pocket and led to a buttonhole on the dungarees and a pair of work gloves stuck out of one pocket. Worryingly, a pair of old aviator goggles was slung around his neck, their purpose unknown and hopefully decorative. 

She was wearing typical work trousers, a sturdy jacket and work shirt, and a pair of work boots that looked considerably more modern that the monstrosities adorning the Fat Controller’s feet. To complete the modern look, the belt holster for her Nokia mobile phone poked out of one side. 

They looked like people from two different centuries.

As they approached Toby, who was already steamed up in the works yard, the sinking feeling in Siobhan’s chest grew when the tram engine’s face lit up upon sighting the controller. 

“Oh hello sir! I didn’t know you’d be driving today!”

“Well, Robert has called out sick, surprisingly enough, and I was asked to fill in. I wouldn’t miss this for the world, old friend.” Stephen said as he pulled on his gloves.  

“Now then,” He said as he jumped into Toby’s cab with surprising spryness, before pulling on the goggles. “Let’s Ride!”

Siobhan wondered if it was too late to call in sick as well. 

[obxfishon]

Chasing Waterfalls

(this gif has my heart (LOOK AT THAT SMILE), creds to the creator)

JJ x Reader

Description: Emotions flow like the water in the waterfall.

Prompts: “I wish I had a boyfriend.” “so what do you look for in a guy?” “real stuff, like the shape of his ass” “So, I found this waterfall…”

Word Count: 1.9k (I’m slacking sry)

“BYE MOM I’LL BE HOME TOMORROW!” You scream as you run from the house.

John B’s was pretty close, and you were about to make today unforgettable. The crew had been down in the dumps thinking that there wasn’t anything new for them to do, it was just the same old same old, but you found something at work yesterday.

You work at the country club with JJ, you both applied together a few summers ago when it was becoming apparent that you needed money to go on all the adventures.

While bussing a table yesterday, the girls behind you were talking about this amazing hike that led to a waterfall that had water deep enough that you could jump off into it. You read the name from their tab and searched for her instagram, sure enough she was public and posted the pictures from the hike with a location tag.

Saving the location you texted the Pogues to meet at John B’s tomorrow with food, proper shoes and a bathing suit. You didn’t want to give too much away but they needed to be at least a little prepared for what you had planned.

Racing onto the property you see that you are the last one to arrive, the rest all sitting on the porch trying to figure out what you have planned.

“Are you all ready to have the best day of your life?” You questioned as you jumped onto the porch with them.

“C’mon (Y/n), just spill, what do you have planned?” Kie asks, excitement evident in her voice.

“So, I found this waterfall, well I actually heard about it at work yesterday, but then I found the location and we’re gonna spend the day there!” You explain, watching the smiles grow on everyone’s faces.

“It’s about an hour and a half drive, but I think it’ll be so worth it!” You finish, slightly jumping up and down.

Everyone smiled and nodded and started packing everything that would be needed for the trip.

“(Y/n),” JJ squeezed you into a tight hug and spun you in a circle, “you have saved us all from extreme boredom, so, you’ve been moved up in the rankings and have become my favorite person, John B you’re now in second.”

“HEY! I thought I was forever at first?!” John B yelled from the van.

“Well I haven’t heard you offering any fun ideas, but you do house me and drive me places, just be happy you're still towards the top.” JJ remarked and grabbed the last load of things to bring to the van, throwing a wink your way.

You met JJ and the rest of the group when you moved here a few years back, your mom ran a convenience store that kept you afloat for the most part, getting a job at the county club helped you guys have a little extra cash after the bills were paid.

You clicked with the group better than anyone thought possible, together you all formed a family and there was nothing that could wedge between you all.

—-

The drive was full of awful karaoke and dances between all of you. The energy was unmatchable, everyone just letting go of the stresses of home.

Quicker than expected you all arrived and gathered the necessary belongings into backpacks before setting off on the small hike to where the waterfall was waiting.

It was a hot day and this seemed to be a popular spot to come so there were quite a few other people when you came over the final hill and laid eyes on the waterfall.

It was beautiful, the water fell perfectly and the water was a crystal blue, speckled with a few other people enjoying the cool water.

The group set up towels and the rest of the stuff in a sunny spot before heading for the ledge that people were jumping off. Kie wasted no time in running to the ledge and jumping off, letting out a yell of pure joy as her feet left the ground, she resurfaces with the biggest smile on her face, calling for the rest of you to follow.

John B, Sarah, and Pope followed, but you hesitated due to the nerves that came out of nowhere, JJ picked up on this.

“M’lady,” JJ held out a hand, offering a little extra confidence with it, that you took before both running to the end and jumping off, not letting go of him until you had to in order to swim back to the surface.

Everyone was swimming and throwing water on eachother, occasionally getting out to jump back in again moments later.

After a good amount of time it was decided to get out and take a little snack and rest break, so the group moved to the towels and relaxed in the warm sun.

Looking out to the water again you watch as a couple clung to each other as they floated around the water, just based on the way they looked at each other you could tell they were in love. Without thinking you opened your mouth.

“Ugh, I wish I had a boyfriend,” eyes slightly widening when it came out of your mouth, but you shrugged it off, everyone wished that… right?

“You know, (y/n), I don’t think I’ve ever even known you to date, have you?” Sarah moved her head up to look at you, as well as the rest of the group now.

“Nope, it’s hard to find someone who can handle me,” you smirked.

It was true, you hadn’t really dated before, sure you had crushes and had been in that weird talking stage before, but nothing ever became official.

You were a very strong willed girl, you knew what you wanted and how you wanted to be treated, and some people just seemed to be turned off or scared of that.

You also currently had a crush so deep that it didn’t really let you see anyone else as an option. As soon as you met JJ it was hard to ignore the butterflies that came every time he brushed your shoulder or smiled so big that it reached his eyes, just the small things.

“What do you even look for in a guy?” Kie propped her head up on her hands.

“Oh you know, real stuff, like the shape of his ass.” You smirked again and looked back at the group to see them all rolling their eyes and scoffing.

“Okay but really, what would it take to sweep you off your feet?” This time John B pushed.

Realizing you weren’t gonna be able to joke your way out of this you shrugged your shoulders.

“I mean, I don’t know. I want someone strong willed like myself, someone who really cares, would be willing to drop anything in order to help someone,” sighing you continue, “he needs to be a good listener, willing to pay attention to the little things. He needs to be able to make me laugh, that’s a big one. Oh! And someone who is giving, not like buying me things, I don’t need that, but someone who is willing to give me their time and is willing to work on things together.” You nodded your head and looked at them all, just staring back at you.

“You want someone the opposite of what your dad was.” JJ locked eyes with you and you felt your smile falter a bit.

“Yeah... yeah I guess.”

Your dad was awful to your mother, always told her that he could have done better, just rude and uncaring. When you were 12 your mother caught him cheating. She packed the two of you up and you left, she didn’t have a destination in mind, just drove until she ran out of land, literally. The two of you happened to stop at a gas station by the ferry and saw a listing for the small house that you two lived in now. She paid for a hotel for the week, got things in order to buy it, and set divorce papers to your father all in that week.

After that you two had started thriving in this new house, just you and her. Of course the divorce got messy, but he gave up custody of you without a fight, so after a year the divorce was final and you and your mother never spoke of him again.

“I learned from my mother what it means to be a strong woman, she taught me what it means to love someone, how to find the attributes of that love in someone else. She also taught me about where she went wrong, I know what traits can quickly turn toxic so when I see that in someone I keep my distance.” You are looking at the ground trying to hold back the tears.

Feeling an awkward silence you stood and plastered a fake smile on.

“I don’t know about y’all but I’ve had enough rest, I’m gonna go jump in again.” Nodding you turned and quickly walked to the other side of the water where the ledge was, where you were slightly hidden from the others.

Taking a deep breath you closed your eyes and just tried to forget about the memories that we’re trying to break through, this was supposed to be a fun day, so dammit you were gonna be happy.

“Hey, (y/n), are you okay?”

Your eyes shoot open to see JJ staring back into your own.

“Uh,” you plastered the smile back on, “yeah, yeah I’m fine!”

“Bullshit,” JJ pushes your hair behind your ear and then takes you into his arms, holding you in a tight embrace, “I’m sorry I brought up your dad, I know it’s a touchy subject, I wasn’t thinking, trust me of all people in our group I understand not wanting to talking about your dad, but you know I’m here for you no matter what.”

He felt a sob shake your body in his arms and held you closer, rubbing small circles on your back, then pulling away from you to wipe your tears.

“(Y/n), I’ll give you my time, my attention, shit, I’d give my life for you,” JJ looked down at his feet then met your eyes with his own, “I hate to see you in pain, let me make you happy, okay?” He smiled at you and you felt a smile grow in your own face, nodding as he wiped the rest of your tears from your cheeks.

He pressed a short kiss to your forehead and grabbed your hand as you two walked towards the original destination.

“You know, as far as the qualities you look for in a guy, I do have to say, I DO have the best ass around,” he looked at you, causing a short giggle.

“Eh I dunno, could use some work.” You tried to hide your smile as you passed him, your hand reaching out slapping his butt as you sprinted for the ledge, hoping he wouldn’t be able to catch you.

He caught up to you at the very end, grabbing your waist before you both launched off the cliff.

After landing in the water he kept his hold on you, you both just floated together, you head resting back on his shoulder.

Maybe he would be the first boy that passed your test, the one to finally break down your walls.

Only time would tell.

[fatiguing-thoughts]

“Camping Trip” - Whitlocktober Day 6

This weekend was going to be an amazing weekend. I have been waiting to go camping with Jasper for a while now, as it’s been months since our last trip. 

“Come on Doll, I’ll load the car with the supplies, just grab the food from the fridge for the weekend.” He says as he kisses me, reaching for my lower back. 

“Ok Jas.” I say, blushing at the gesture. He always had this effect on me, and it is not just from his ice cold temperature. 

I walk to the fridge and grab all the food I’m going to need over the weekend. I look out of the enormous window and watch my vampire boyfriend breathlessly pack the car incredibly fast. I catch myself amazed at his abilities every single day, as if every day with him is as new as the first. 

“Are you excited, (Y/N)?” Rose asked me, winking.

“Yes. Very.” I respond quickly, yet aware of her glaringly obvious question. I can’t help but feel the blood flow to my cheeks. Even though Jasper refuses to bring our relationship to the next level until we’re married and I’m changed, a girl can hope for at least a little bit of action. 

“In her dreams.” Edward snarkily remarks, inserting himself to the conversation.

I shot him a glare, displeased with his disturbingly accurate joke.

“Ooh burn.” Emmett says as he puts his hand out for a high five from Edward.

“Shut up.” Rosalie defended me, knowing it could be a pretty touchy subject with me. After all, I basically beg Jasper on a weekly basis to get even remotely “steamy”, respecting his wishes and concerns, but dying for some more passion on occasion. 

Jasper walks in, hearing everything said and grabs the bag of food out of my hand, putting his hand on my waist and leading me outside to the car.  

He packs the cooler and puts it into the back seat. Refusing to address the conversation he just overheard. He already knew how you felt, as he felt it too. He knew that no matter how much he wanted to do anything further than making out and some sensual touches, it was not worth the risk. That’s how the abstinence became an enormous part of our relationship. 

I guess separating me from the conversation was deemed the best option on his end, hoping they’d stop poking fun, but I was fine talking to them, telling them to hush up or to mention something else. I kinda wish he had more faith in my resilience sometimes, I wasn’t as defenseless as he sometimes thinks I would be. 

“I’m sorry.” He said to me, assumingly feeling my disappointment.

“I just don’t know why you don’t think I can take care of myself.” I muttered back.

“Darlin’, I know you can. But you shouldn’t be made fun of for something you can’t control, nor something so sensitive of a topic. What happens, or doesn’t happen, in someone’s bed is not the business of anyone else; especially when they’re not welcomed into it.” He explained to me. 

Ah yes, I often forget just how old my boyfriend is. I understood that he wasn’t fond of our sex life, or lack thereof, being on full blast to his entire family. However, I frequently confided in Rose, as she was my best friend and I needed to vent my frustrations and insecurities sometimes. I realize once again that maybe it’s Jasper who is more sensitive to these comments than myself. 

“I understand, Jas.” I gave him a small smile and a little hand squeeze.

The whole family came outside to give us a hug and kiss goodbye. My god they really loved you like their own, and it felt so natural. 

After that, we were on our way to Olympic National Park. The music was quiet, but still something that fills the car up with just enough background noise. 

“Hey Jasper?” I asked, wanting to get his attention.

“Yes doll?” 

“Do you think that you can show me stuff from your point of view on this trip again?” I asked with pleading eyes. 

“Yes.” He nodded. My excitement was beaming now, I loved to see what Jasper was really able to do. In town, we could never be so comfortable with him showing me his abilities, but camping in the middle of nowhere made it much more attainable. 

Being you, the music and car ride paired perfectly to create an ideal nap atmosphere. Before you knew it, you were dozing off. 

You woke up to feeling the car shift and a door shutting. Your groggy eyes revealed Jasper walking out of the car and unloading the trunk to the site. Upon noticing your waking, you smiled at each other and he walked to your door. He opened it and scooped you out like you were just a speck of dust. 

I tried to help Jasper set up the site once again, but he is much quicker and significantly more efficient at it. So I kinda just stand there and watch, that may be more helpful than slowing down the process.

“Thank you for setting up, babe.” 

“You got it Darling. It’s pretty easy when you’re not slower than a snail.” He winked at me. 

“Can we do it Jasper?” I ask with pleading eyes.

He nods and tells me to get on. I jump onto his back. 

“Hold on tight, doll.” He reminds me, as if I could forget. 

I put my head in the crook of his neck, leaving a little kiss there. The smell of his cologne driving me nuts. 

And on we went. We were going to go where I would never be able to get to. Jasper would take me into the furthest trails, up in the mountains, up in some trees-- everywhere I always desired to be. Jasper always showed me beauty that I could only imagine before I met him. The air flowing through my hair faster than any speed I nor any human could even imagine. 

We were sitting in a tree, watching the sun as it set over the horizon. I sat in his lap as he sat on an enormous branch.

“Close your eyes.” Jasper whispers sweetly in my ear. 

Now that my eyes are closed, I hear things a bit better. Finally focusing on sounds, not sight. 

“Is that an owl?” I ask excitedly. I loved owls. 

“Yes darlin’.” He smirked at me. 

I opened my eyes and thought about how I could sit here forever. Correction: I could sit anywhere with Jasper forever. My mate was what got me up in the morning, what inspired me to not give up hope, what kept me feeling alive-- I know of a joy I felt robbed of my entire life. He filled the hole in my heart that I thought would never recover. 

I can tell he felt my gratitude and love when he gave my hand a light squeeze and his face grew a loving smile. It was only a matter of time before we left to go back to the campsite for a night of affection and cuddles, my two favorite things. 

*****************************

Word count: 1202 

Sorry this was late guys, I had a few midterms and projects to do yesterday. Things should be calmer now for me to catch up/get ahead. Thank you everyone for reading!

***TAGLIST***

@mangoberry43

[storytime-with-moth]

Writing modern teen Dad Sokka (zukka uni)

I wrote this a few months ago, but I ran out of steam and inspiration, so anyone is welcome to take this on and finish it as their own or take it as a prompt and try there own story.

Summer of grade 11, Sokka and Yue spend the whole summer as lifeguards, soaking up the sun, making each other laugh and dreaming of the future.

One night it’s just the two of them in the pool after it’s closed, you can see the full moon through the windows above, Sokka and Yue lay on floaties driving around the pool.

“Hey Sokka?”

“Hmm?”

“What do you want to be when you grow up?”

Sokka laughs “Haven’t heard that since I was a kid and I wanted to be and otter penguin - and no I have no idea where that came from.”

Yue turns over so she can look Sokka in the eyes. “Seriously though, what do you want to do when you can leave this small town and its small ideas.

Sokka could tell that there was more behind the question but tired answering it honestly “I dunno exactly “What” I want to be, but I think I would like to build things, useful things too. And I’m not really a car guy or a building guy.”

Yue snorts “Ya not a car guy, says the guy who failed to get his license twice!”

“Hey!” Sokka splashes yue playfully. “Okay okay, I have been looking the some of the research into mixing prosthetics with robotics and focusing more on make prosthetics one with the body, I don’t know much about it yet. But I guess I started reading all about them and I kinda became obsessed.”

“what about hockey?”

“I love hockey, and the coaches at school think I’m good enough to get scholarships, so if hockey helps support an actual career for me I’m all for it, but I know I want to do more than catch pucks my whole life, I want to really use my brain and solve puzzles.”

“hmm” Yue turned over and looked back at the moon thoughtful.

“What about you?”

“What about me?”

“Well as you so gracefully put it, what do you want to do when you can leave this place that’s too small for you and your big ideas and dreams?”

“Well when you put it like that… I want to travel, see places, important places. I want to fall in love, out of love, I want to have enough friends that my house is always filled with good food and loud laughter. I want to be a Mom someday, I think maybe I want to go to school and study philosophy, not sure what kind of job that leads to but I want to ask questions, the big questions like why are we here, what is a life well spent?”

“Whoa”

“Ya… Whoa”

“and have you talked to your dad about that?

“Sort of, and it sort of didn’t go well.”

“he’s still set on you making the Canadian swim team? Duty to country and family stuff?”

“YeP” she said as she popped the P

“That sucks”

“indeed it does”

They floated around in silence for a bit longer.

“Hey Sokka?”

“Hmm?”

“Do you want to have sex?”

Sokka promptly fell into the water, Yue’s laugh echoing around the empty pool.

They did indeed tumble into bed together that night, an awkward interaction for both of them that ended with the laughing covered in sweat. That morning when Sokka woke up Yue was already sitting on his bed looking at his doodles on the walls.

“Sokka I love you, I do, and I honestly thought maybe I loved you like a girl loves a guy, but I think I just love you because you're my best friend.”

“Ookaaay. I think I should add in you’re my best friend too? Because you’re being weird”

Yue looked to her hands in her lap and a tear fell to her hand. “Sokka, think I might like girls.”

She said it so quietly that it took a second for Sokka to understand what she had just told him.

“Whoa, no I mean, Cool! That’s fine. I support you, wait was I really bad last night?”

Yue’s tears quickly turn into laughs “No you idiot! You ere great, it just wasn’t right”

“Okay well cool then…..”

“Cool then”

“promise you won’t tell?”

“Yue, I promise I won’t tell! I can even pretend to be your boyfriend so your dad can’t freak out, and we can totally go to the girls soccer games this year if you want?”

“Sokka I love you, you big dummy”

“Well I love you to, to the moon and back dreamer”

___________________________________

So Sokka and Yue were still best friends and they spent the fall attached at the hip, and when Yue found out she was expecting a baby and her parents kicked her out, Sokka just grabbed her hand and her backpack and walked into his house stating that Yue lived here now.

Hakoda and Bato nodded and welcomed her home, Katara squealed and fawned over becoming an auntie.

And for a while things were good, they were complicated as they prepared to become teen parents, co parenting as best friends, both of them aiming for scholarships and working part-time gigs whenever they could to save up. But life was happy, they were going to have a baby.

But then things went wrong, Yue went into labour 6 weeks early, her pressure dropped, the baby’s dropped, there was blood, there were doctors everywhere, then there was a small shrill cry, more moving and running and yelling. Then there was a lot of quiet.

Yue died in labour, their baby was in the NICU for three weeks to improve her lungs and even then doctors were worried about how premature she was. Finally after weeks camped out in a hospital next to his baby in a box or in his bed in the dark or the shower staring at the wall, he could bring his daughter home. She was going to be okay.

Her name was Juno Kya Last name, and she was perfect, wide hazel eyes like her Mom, and the sharp cupids bow like Kya, it looked like she would have Sokka’s dark hair and complexion. She watched everything with curious eyes, and didn’t cry unless she was hungry or tired which was often the first few months. But Bato and Hakkoda loved their granddaughter to bits and helped with everything. The diapers, the late feedings, the tummy time, the grieving.

The grieving was the hardest. Mostly because he was to busy trying to be there as a Dad and as a student and as a team player. He spent so long being there for everyone else that one night once hockey season was over and Katara took Juno to a girls sleepover he was all alone, for the first time since he was a little boy after his Mom died.

The dam burst and he sat on the floor and cried, he cried until his Dads came home and they wrapped him up in a hug and he cried some more. Then they made hot chocolate and sat on the couch in thick chewy blankets. They talked and talked, Hakkoda speaking about loosing the love of his life with two young children, being a dad by himself, Bato spoke about loosing his best friend Kya so unfairly and traumatically. The spoke about the unfairness of life and the peace in death, and how he will never move on but he will move forward, with one hand holding his daughter and the other pointing him forward to his own future.

When Katara came home the next day, Sokka was already awake and making blueberry pancakes poorly singing ice ice baby. When he saw his sister holding Juno he scooped her up and gave her a million kisses.

They were going to be okay, because they were loved, because Sokka was smart, because Sokka was going to be driven just like his best friend was, he was going to ask the big questions whenever he could, and love and laugh, so much his home was filled with it.

For Juno and for Yue, and for himself too.

_________________________

So Sokka worked his ass off, he won a full ride scholarship to university for hockey to study bio engineering, he was even able to work on family residence on campus, which took a load off his shoulders of trying to figure out travel to and from school with a baby, now he skates, lives and attends school on campus (which even had a daycare)

During the summer leading up leaving for school Bato revealed that ever since Sokka got into school he has been trying to transfer his job to the same city so they could be closer and he had not only done that but he had gotten a promotion out of it too. So Katara was starting at a new high school for senior year and Bato and Hakkoda were moving to be 20 minutes away from Sokka’s school.

He knew he would have to get used to being more independent, as he knew his dads thought he would be annoyed by them following him, or his sister would be upset about changing schools. But no, katara had high hopes for her new adventure and sokka was just relived to not be alone, and that Juno had more than one badly an adult person in her life.

_________________

Little hands grabbed at Sokka’s hair as he hoisted 9 month old Juno up on his hip. “Well June-Bug this is it our home for the next four or so years”

Juno looked up at her dad with wide hazel eyes and replied in noisy baby babble.

From behind Sokka Bato came up and rested a hand on on his shoulder “Deep breaths kid, you’re going to be great.”

Sokka smiled ruefully at Bato as Katara ran up with a stroller full of baby things and his dad struggled with his hockey bags as he tried to lock the car with one hand.

Sokka looked at Juno again and whispered to her and himself “Deep breaths kid”

Later after they had gotten the crib set up in the attached office to Sokka’s room Bato and Katara took Juno for a walk in her stroller to grab some food. While Sokka and his dad finished unpacking.

“Son are you sure you want to stay on campus, are you sure you want Juno to stay with you? We could take her for the weeks mostly and you could come stay with us at the new place on weekends. I know you expected to do this more by yourself, but Bato would move oceans for you kid and got the new position in town, so we’re here, we can help.”

“Dad… Ya I’m going to need help, so thank you, I will take you up on looking after Juno when I need it, but you and Bato are going to be looking after her as her grandparents and not as her guardians. I promised Yue - Juno and I are family, and I’m not going to pass her off whenever I feel like not being a Dad anymore, she’s my kid and I want to be here for all the stuff, the walking the talking everything, and that’s not going to happen if she’s only my kid on weekends.

“Sokka you’re doing just fine son, more than fine really. Okay okay well when Juno wants to see her Great Papa and GB (Grand Bato) you give us a call, or if you need to pull an all nighter for an assignment you call, anything you call and we can be here. And when you get your game schedule, email us so we can make sure one of us can take her to the games, Bato is very excited about the baby headphones he bought her.”

“Okay Dad Okay, Now get out of here ya old man, and Dad Thanks for being here.”

“Of course Sokka”

________________________

Sokka was pretty pleased with his new place, sure it was small, but it was clean and had more room than he expected to get so he was grateful. The suite was in the family/accessible living accommodations which was a small building with elevators to every floor. This suite had two rooms on opposite sides of the small common area which had a worn in couch and a coffee table. There was also a small kitchen and an even smaller dinner table. Sokka’s room had a small attached office space that he turned into Juno’s room, even though she still co-slept with him most nights, it was good to have a crib for naps and a place to put her never ending supply of diapers, blankets and clothes.

Sokka's roommate was a paraplegic kid named Teo who happened to have basically the same schedule as Sokka so they quickly bonded over advancements in the medical and mechanical fields. Teo also seemed pretty chill and took a liking to Juno right away. Which made Sokka endlessly happy because, well they were now living together and babies cry and poop so he was worried about tiptoeing around his new home.

Day care still didn’t open for the next two weeks while sokka would be attending training camp so his Dad would be taking most of the days with Juno, but it happened to shake out where the first day of meet and greet and skate Hakkoda was attending a support group meeting for retired field medics in a new city and Sokka didn’t want his Dad to miss it, plus it gave Sokka an opportunity to introduce everyone to his best girl.

Katara came to hold Juno while he was on the ice excited to get a sneak peek at university life before her high school year started.

“Da da da” Juno babbled as she mushed her fist into Sokka’s mouth, sokka smiled and pretended to gobble up her hand, the baby shrieked and laughed and Sokka adjusted her baby sweater around her neck.

“Sokka she’s fine, I have diapers, formula, and the big blanket you packet in the stroller, if she gets fussy I can take her for a walk to see the birds, and she won’t get cold because you packed a million layers and she will be held by every limbo there so again, she will be fine.”

Sokka checked the stroller again nodding to what his sister was saying. She was right, he was prepared, he had already emailed with the coaches so they knew what was up and he had coffee with the captain yesterday, who looked like a giant holding his baby, but overall seemed like a good guy. Eric “Wooly Mammoth/ Wooly” Woolner seemed like a solid guy, like physically solid and also like the type of guy Sokka could lean on as a leader while figuring out classes, fatherhood and being on a university level hockey team.

Everyone met in a blank sort of room with lots of chairs facing a projector, Sokka thought it was probably to review game footage and make new plays. He settled in with Juno on his lap as the other guys in the room took notice that there was a baby in their midst.

“Sokka you brilliant man!” Shouted a familiar face from across the room as he stood up and ran over.

Haru was taller and broader than Sokka, much bigger at least than when they last saw each other when they played on the same club team when they were 15.

“Haru, dude! You’re here! Awesome!”

Haru took a look at Juno and sized her up, then he stuck out his tongue and did a silly dance, Juno hid her face in Sokka’s shoulder and Haru ran around so she could see him and did it again. This time he managed to get a small smile before she hid her face again, grabbing Sokka’s collar with her hands.

“She’s cute Socks, she yours?”

“Yep, this is Juno.”

“Nice, is she gonna be at the games and shit?”

“Easy up on the potty mouth there dude, and ya I hope so, my dads moved into town so they hope to be there and bring her to them and stuff.”

“Wicked, is the uh - mom in the picture?”

“Nah, she passed when Juno was born so it’s just us.”

“Sorry bro”

“Thanks, anyways we should totally catch up properly later. Let’s introduce the team to our new good luck charm shall we?”

Katara was right, Juno has passed from bro to dude to himbo, once she realized that everyone one here was as big and cuddly as her dad she seemed to warm up and enjoy the attention. Then it was time for everyone to get on the ice to pass around the puck and do some laps getting a feel for the other players on the ice.

Juno sat with Katara smearing her messy hands all over the glass looking at the people on the rink until she fell asleep in her stroller tucked under a whole blanket.

Sokka enjoyed the team, Haru was a great comfort of home, Wooly was a level headed captain that set a tone for the rest of the guys, then there was Lucas “Longshot” Cho, Dennis “The Duke” Cunningham, Sam “Rooke” Chesterfield, Finn “Pipsqueak” Biggs, and the team manager Suki and the assistant captain Zuko.

All of the guys were loud and boisterous, including Suki, but Zuko seemed reserved and maybe a little prickly.

Then there were coaches Piandao and Bumi. Piandao seemed more serious, the man with a plan. He had coached a lot of different teams and was sought after for his reputation of the coach who turns coal into diamonds, Bumi on the other hand had coached here forever it seemed. He gave Sokka Manic genius vibes that had him thinking that maybe he should let Piandao hold Juno for the occasional practise instead of the ripped crazy old guy who ran around the ice in uggs.

——————

Later when Sokka was packing up and talking to the coaches about potentially bringing Juno with him in case he couldn’t find a sitter last minute working out how that would work, Katara pulled up with a fussy Juno in her stroller.

“Sorry Sokka I have to run, Dad is outside waiting for me and I have to finish unpacking my room tonight”

“All good Kat, thanks again for coming tonight!”

Katara leaned down and kissed her fingers and pressed them to Juno’s head “Love you little bug”

The coaches bid their farewells shortly after and Sokka packed his stuff into the stroller before taking Juno out to settle her and give her a bottle.

Just as he tucked her into his arms and pulled the bottle from the bag someone walked briskly into the locker room where he was sitting.

Zuko and Assistant Captain huffed in and sat down hanging up his phone and tossing it on the bench.

“Uh hi?”

Zuko whirled around looking ready for a fight before spotting Sokka and said baby sucking on a bottle. “Hi Baby.” Zuko said shyly.

Sokka laughed “ Take me on a date before you call me that.” And winked at Zuko.

Zuko looked like a startled deer so Sokka took pity on him.

“Just kidding dude, I mean sort of I am Bi - what a discovery that was and anyways - sorry I wasn’t coming on to you - I don’t know you - I just thought I should make it clear that I COULD come on to you because I like guys, and girls…. Whelp I would start running away in shame now for oversharing but I’m currently a food spruce for this nugget sooo, yep just going to sit here and wish I could time travel to punch myself in the face.”

Throughout the vomit of words coming out of sokka’s mouth Zuko seemed to relax and then smirk at the other man.

“You do know I was talking to your kid right?”

“Yep, yes I did”

“Well see you around Sokka.”

And Zuko grabbed his bag and left the locker room. First impressions for today might be bit all over the place Sokka thought to himself.

____________________________________

Sokka talked to Juno all of the time. What can he say, he is a guy with a lot of words and they can’t all stay in his head.

So Juno has an interesting and advanced vocal for a 9 month old baby.

Of course she can address the people in her life, Dada, Kat, Great Papa, and GB (Great Bato)

She can also ask for milk, to go up, and uh oh.

She loves to say no but can infect say yes (sokka swears he’s heard that one)

But it also means she tries to say things that Sokka often says to varying degrees of baby success

“Stupid gravity!”

"Monkey balls”

“Shoot”

“I love you to the moon and back”

“hockey time.

And her favourite word of all time

Puck

It stopped making Sokka freeze after the first 2o times he thought he heard his baby say fuck. Now its just a cute funny thing his kid has figured out, Dada has to find the puck, and it is her job to hide them.

She hides pucks everywhere, he swears sometimes she is multiplying them on her own because he always finds at least two in the diaper bag and one hidden in her crib.

So very quickly into the season the team dubs the hockey baby with her very own nickname

“Little puck”

Sokka quietly thinks that Yue would have liked that one because her favourite Shakespeare play was midsummer night's dream.

________________________

The team gets Juno and Sokka a fancy running stroller for her birthday/christmas

It was Zuko’s idea

Zuko sometimes comes by to offer to take her for a run when Sokka has exams.

_______________________

Zuko seemed to always be the last to leave the locker rooms, Sokka would usually rush out to pick up Juno from whoever had her unless she had stayed with Couch Dao during practise which she had today.

On days like today Sokka takes his time, cleans and folds his gear, re-tapes his stick for next practise and actually has a real shower. So today he was tucking Juno back in her stroller after changing her as Zuko put the tape away. They were casually talking about the hilarious origins of Pipsqueaks nickname when sokka realized Zuko had a funny look on his face.

“What? Do I have poop on me or something?”

Now Zuko looked even more confused as Sokka looked at his shirt, twisting around to make sure he was free of baby droppings.

“No, you just never look at it, is all. I was trying to figure out what was so -weird about you other than being a crazy goalie, and you don’t look at it.”

“I don’t look at what?”

Zuko gestures to the scared half of his face glumly. “You don’t look at it, you look me in the eyes, always have. It’s weird I guess. You pretending it’s not there.”

“Oh”

“Forget it, sorry.”

“No! It’s just of course I know it’s ther, I’m not pretending its not there, it just seems like whatever happen was probably truamitic, ya know? And - well - okay so tragic backstory time. My Mom was killed in a targeted home invasion by some racists, super fucked up... “

“Holy shit.”

“Yep, anyways everyone knew about it, in the town we lived in, in the next town we lived in, So it was like everyone could see my big truma all the time, it wasn’t up to me to trust people enough to share something that was hard for me and that hurt. It was out of my hands and everyone knew including people I didn’t feel safe with or I didn’t know at all. So I get it, in a way. I see your scar I do, but I get that it maybe comes with a pretty sucky story that’s not mine to make assumptions and judgments on. If I’m worthy of knowing then I will, but I will always look you in the eyes, I’m not going to look at your trauma first because you’re Zuko first.”

Zuko stared at Sokka with his mouth open. Sokka looked away and finished strapping Juno into her stoller before looking back up at the other player. When he did Zuko was looking at the wall, his shoulders turned away from the young father.

“Thank you, and I’m sorry about your Mom… I promise I won’t tell anyone, that scar can stay between us for however long you need.”

And before Sokka could stay anything Zuko turned on his heel and walked quickly from the room.

________________________-

Sokka wasn’t sure what was up with this Zuko guy, everyone else on the team except Haru and Sokka had played with Zuko last year, so they all seemed to have an unspoken understanding of the reserve alt captain. But Sokka couldn’t even get him to smile. Sokka knew he was funny, he was full of 100% organic grass fed dad jokes for goodness sakes! But no, Zuko would not smile, he would not laugh, actually most of the time he seemed to be trying to not talk to Sokka in general. Which was hard considering Zuko was one of the defensemen and it was his job to protect Sokka, you’d think there would be an effort to become friends.

“Maybe he’s uncomfortable with the whole baby thing?” Suggested Teo from the table where he was copying data to a new chart.

“Nahh, I don’t think so, he even said hi to Juno at the first prac - ohhhhhhh” Sokka fell to the floor from where he was sitting with Juno, she took the opportunity of her opponent on the ground and began to climb on her dad.

“What ohhhhhh?”

“I totally flirted with him after that and told him I was queer and he like panic walked out of the locker room.”

“Ugh so do you think he’s homophobic or something?”

“Maybe or something? I don’t get bully vibes from him more like “I act scary so people won’t pretend to like me and then stab me in the back” vibes from this guy. So maybe it’s just a little internalized stuff and he’s not going to beat me up just might not want to talk about it.”

“Well it sucks either way!”

Juno continued to climb around her Dad trying to stuff toys down his shirt and then take them out again. Sokka kept a hand two inches from her back whenever she got close to standing just incase she decided that gravity no longer applied to her and she tumbled over.

“Hey Sokka, do you think he told anyone? Would your spot be in danger if you were outed?”

A cold feeling settled in his stomach “oh shit, I uh, I didn’t think about that… I don’t think I would be kicked off the team. There are policies like that for the school, but I don’t know about how safe I would be from the boys.”

“Oh,” Teo finally looked up from his laptop and set down his highlighter. “You know if you need someone to back you up, I know I can’t take them in a fight but I am friends with some freelance hackers and I could make their lives living hell.”

“Teo, you my man are one scary dude, and the wheels only add intimidation with that tricked out chair. You’re also a really great friend.”

Teo blushed and shrugged “Eh it’s whatever, us queers in engineering trying to change the way people use bionic tech gotta stick together right?”

“Totally, isn’t Uncle Teo awesome June-Bug?” Sokka picked up his daughter and flew her over his head as she wiggled her legs.

“Too too!”

“Uncle Teo?” teo said quietly from the table.

“Oh, well ya, if you want? Juno needs a village right? And one day you and I are going to start a bionics company together, so ya you’re going to be around for a while right?”

“Right.” Teo smiled.

“Toto!” Juno screamed again.

Both of the boys laughed and the night went on.

_______________________________________

Juno was still asleep and Teo was in the house studying so Sokka took the opportunity to go for a run around his building with the baby monitor clipped on his waist band.

It was rare nowadays that Sokka could get a good run in outside, his feet pounding the pavement, a chance to clear his mind.

He was surprised to see that Zuko apparently had the same idea because soon they were matching each other stride for stride around the complex. It was surprising even after weeks of Zuko evading Sokka at any chance they seemed to be in sync.

They were still going strong when Sokka heard Juno fuss from the monitor and slowed to a stop. Zuko halted a few paces ahead and looked confused.

“Are you tired? We can stop-” Zuko started but Sokka quickly waved him off.

“No it’s Juno, I just want to see if she’s going to go back to sleep herself or whether I have to call Teo to pick her up, or if I should go get her. Come on J-Bug settle down,”

Zuko looking curious came to hover over Sokka’s shoulder looking down at the tiny screen which showed Juno in her crib tossing and turning.

“Come on J look your penguin is right there- YES!” Sokka pumped his fist and did a little dance. “My baby went back to sleep, ah I love you!” He continued speaking to the machine and the sky and skipped around before remembering he had an audience.

It looked like Zuko was thinking about smiling and Sokka thought that that might be worth celebrating too.

“Hehe whoops, sorry man. I just haven't been able to run in forever, it's like she knows when I grab my runners and demands to see me.”

“No worries, Sokka.”

So the two hockey players started up a soft pace again around the building. It came to Sokka's mind that he shouldn’t poke the bear but he also had poor impulse control so as he thought it the words came tumbling out of his mouth.

“So have you outed me to all the guys and should I watch my back?”

Now it was Zuko’s turn to stop, he looked like Sokka slapped him.

“What.”

“Ugh! You know, like I can not talk about it and we can just play the game but - should I be making sure that Juno is safe? If she comes to a practise and I’m leaving will I get roughed up by the guys? Because I can take a hit, but my daughter is off limits. Nothing has happened yet so, my guess is you haven't told anyone, but are you going to?”

“No!” Zuko still looked scared “ Never - do I come off as someone who would do that?” He followed up quietly.

“I don’t know what to say dude, you looked scared out of your mind when I flirted with you and practically ran out when I told you I was Bi and ever since you have avoided me, I just assumed you were uncomfortable.”

Zuko looked around as if to check for monsters around them, then he looked at Sokka. “I won’t tell anyone, I haven't, I swear to you that I have your back if you ever want to say anything about it. Juno is safe, I swear it.”

“Whoa that’s a serious tone shift, Um thank you then.”

There was an awkward pause as the two men regarded each other for a moment.

“Just out of curiosity why did you avoid me after? Was it the baby thing?”

“No, it wasn't the baby thing.” zuko mumbled and toed the dirt with his shoe.

“Okay… but were good now right?”

“Ya”

Sokka turned and started to jog again, and soon enough Zuko caught up and they continued for a few more laps. As they were cooling down Zuko still looked amped up, Sokka was surprised, running usually calmed him down but Zuko seemed jumpy.

“Well this was fun! If I can ever join again it would be nice to have company, even company as quiet as you along.”

“Why don’t you bring Juno in her stroller or something?”

Sokka rubbed a hand behind his neck “ Well her stroller is a second hand one we got when she was born, it’s not the kind I can take running without it falling apart or bouncing my babies brains out. And her Mom and I both had much to offer in genetic smarts so I would like my babies brain to be perfect so she can run the world or something.”

“Oh and I guess running strollers are expensive?”

“Ya a bit, and I already spend so much on her clothes, she just won’t stop growing!”

“Too bad, it was also nice running with you.”

“Wow a real Zuko compliment, be still my beating heart!”

Sokka grabbed his chest and fell back and rolled in the grass. Zuko’s lips tilted up just a fraction and butterflies fluttered in sokka’s stomach.

Just then Juno started to cry in earnest and Teo’s voice came over the monitor. “Uh Sokka is her bottle the one in the door of the fridge or do I make a new one?”

Sokka sighed a little then pressed the intercom button on the monitor “Don’t worry about it Teo I will be up in two. Just start telling her the periodic table or something.”

“See you later Zuko”

“Bye Sokka.”

_____________

Sokka’s head was pounding and his vision was blurry, as he stumbled in the dark to the toilet and heaved.

“Fuck.”

At some piont after the sweating and throwing up he dragged himself back to his room to fetch his phone. Juno was fast asleep in her crib because he had a headache last night and homework took forever, so he had put her down early.

Back in the bathroom he rested his head on the cool tile and dialed up his dad with shaky fingers.

After three rings Hakkoda picked up in a panic “Sokka, are you okay? Is Juno okay? Where are you?”

Sokka squinted his eyes at the loud voice of his Dad ringing around his skull. “Dad? I think I have the flu.”

“Oh bud, okay. What’s going on, how can I help?”

“I had a headache last night so I put J down for bed early then I woke up with a fever, I keep throwing up, Dad I -” Sokka felt a lump in his throat and tears sting his eyes. “Dad I don’t want to her her, she was just so small, and I don’t want her to get sick. I know I have to do this, but i love her so much and I dont want to fuck up - “

The tears fall down his cheeks to the floor.

“Oh son, okay. One you love that kid more than anything you would die before hurting her this I know. Two people get sick, people also get better with rest and the I think I can help with that.”

“Dad I know I’m grown up ish, but can you tell me what to do?”

Hakkoda chuckled on the other end of the line. “Sokka, Bato and I will come pick up Juno in 30 minutes, we will drop off some crackers and gatorade too.”

“Dad- “

“Nope Sokka, you asked so I am telling you what we are going to do. We will come and get our baby girl and take her for a few days, You will email your profs and get your homework sent to you, you can only go to class when you don’t have a fever and if you do you’re going to wear a mask, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Good you will email your coaches tell them whats what, when you feel better you can go watch practise, the cool might even be good for the fever, but you will not push yourself. This week will not make or break the rest of your life. So you will sleep, rest, do your work form home, and Juno will play at GB and great Papa’s house. And everything will be okay.”

“Okay. Thank you dad”

“We will be there soon buddy”

So Juno went with his Dad’s and he sent his emails and face planted in his bed and passed out for 6 hours.

Later an hour before practise Sokka’s phone pinged, he groaned and grasped around for his phone.

A text from Fire Prince Zuko

Coaches just said you won’t be at practise tonight. Is everything okay? Is Puck good?

Flu bug, don’t want to mess up that pretty ice with my vomit. Juno seems fine she’s at my Dads house until I’m not dying of the plague

A few minutes went by after that and sokka’s eyes started to fall again. “Ping”

I can drop off soup and tea on my way to practise, which suite is yours in family huas?

Dude its fine I can feed myself

Dude. I’m helping at my uncle’s tea shop today. They have soup and tea, it’s no problem. In fact my uncle insists.

14a second floor

And thank you Z

What are Alt Capts for?

Hakkoda was right, everything was indeed okay in the end. Juno had a blast at her grandparents house and sokka managed to get all of his homework done and even managed to watch a few lectures online courtesy of Teo. Zuko was the anomaly he could’t account for but was grateful for none the less. Whenever he could he stopped by with snacks, soup, tea and even weirder sent cute cat and baby videos at random points during the days.

Within 4 days Sokka felt good enough to go to classes and do some dryland training uring practise and after one more day he was back catching pucks on the rink with his daughter sleeping in the bed next to him one hand fisted on his shirt to make sure her dad didn’t leave.

After that week sometimes Zuko would still stop by with a tea, which Sokka had begun to like even when he wasn’t dying. Except now he would occasionally stay and drink his own tea while they watched juno play on the floor.

Sokka was starting to think he might have a new friend after all…

_____________________

[daggerzine]

Stephen Smith of The Morning Line opens up.

I believe that Bay Area musician Stephen Smith began sending me stuff to listen to/review with his band The Morning Line a few years ago. I really like the band’s brand of melodic rock/pop and was curious to know more. I then realized it was the same Stephen Smith who had been in Boston faves Salem 66 many years before. I then wondered what other bands he had been in that I had maybe checked out (or own records by) so I tossed him some questions that he was more than happy to answer. Read on and give the band a listen, they really deserve your time.

RAWK

Where did you grow up? Was it the Boston area?

North Shore of Chicago until about 14, then high school in the Boston suburbs. I stayed in and around Boston, with stints in New York, L.A., and North Carolina, until I was 25. I was into music as a kid in Chicago, but too young to really be going to shows or anything. Boston was where I really had my musical coming of age. There was a surprising amount of stuff happening in the Suburbs. I saw Husker Du in Concord. The Dead Kennedys in Waltham. And Boston was only about 45 minutes away by train. I remember going into the city and buying records at Newbury Comics, with Aimee Mann behind the register.

What was the first instrument you picked up?

Why I started playing french horn at 11 or 12, I don’t know. It didn’t last. I started playing guitar pretty quickly after that. My first electric was a Stratocaster. I was probably 12 years old. 1979? It was used, so I’m guessing it was an early 70’s one. Got stolen at CBGB while I was loading in in the mid-80’s. Thieves work fast! Let me know if you’ve seen it.

What was the first record you remember buying? As a kid nay band knock your socks off?

My memory is embarrassing, but I recall three early purchases. Singles of ELO’s “Turn to Stone,” and Gary Numan’s “Cars,” and a Beatles comp called “Rock ‘n’ Roll Music.”

The most recent album from 2019. 

What bands were you introduction to punk/new wave/alternative music?

I remember very distinctly tuning into WLYN (later WFNX) and hearing Gun Club’s “Sex Beat”, and Bush Tetras’ “Cowboys in Africa,” and being amazed. I’ll tell you what, though, high school girlfriends were absolutely key to my musical education. Gang of Four? X? Learned about them through my first girlfriend. The Replacements? Through my second. I’m the great beneficiary of other people being better informed than me. Through these same people, I became aware of what was going on locally, and was turned on pretty early to stuff like Christmas, Volcano Suns, the Proletariat.

Was Expando Brain your first band? If not what?

As a fifteen-year-old, I had a couple bands with friends playing covers (I remember Gang of Four’s “Essence Rare,” X’s “Riding with Mary,” “Brand New Cadillac”). But Expando Brain was the first “real” band. I think I was 16 when we started that. Being that age and getting to play shows (like that CBGB one where I lost the guitar), make a record, and be ever-so-slightly enjoyed by some people, was a thrill. I suppose obviously.

Tell me about your time in Salem 66? Howe did you initially meet those ladies?

I don’t remember how we got together! I’m going to guess it was David Savoy’s doing. David managed Expando Brain for a while. He later managed Husker Du, before passing in early 1987. I think he got me together with them. I was 18-19 at the time. They were all 5-10 years older, so we wouldn’t have been traveling in the same circles.

It was absolutely thrilling for me. They were a great, interesting, band. They had “made it,” in my youthful eyes. Signed to Homestead Records? Come on. Gerard had rejected Expando Brain. So I was gonna be on my favorite label (well, maybe SST aside)! I was only in the band for nine months (I think I was a pretty relentless pain in the ass), but so much happened in that time. I think it was all in 1986. We did a tour through the south, so I saw places I’d never seen. We did another tour as a part of our travel to make “Frequency & Urgency,” so I got to see California, an unknown place that loomed so large in my imagination. We stopped in Needles, on the CA/AZ border, and I skated the pool of the motel we stayed at (very poorly). We made the record with Ethan James, who had recorded one of my favorite records of all time (“Double Nickels on the Dime”). I got my first tattoo while we were in L.A. making the record. It was just a dream for a 19-year-old who wanted to be a musician. In some minor way, I *was*.

Waiting for the pizza delivery. 

Was God’s Eye next? If so how did that band begin (and end)?

Yes and no. After getting booted from Salem 66, I went to school. Spent a year at Vassar College. There, I started the first version of God’s Eye with my brother, Tim, who would drive out to Poughkeepsie from Boston now and then to rehearse, and with Ivor Hanson, another Vassar student, who had earlier been in Faith and Embrace (and has gone on to lots of other things, musical and otherwise). I was just writing riffs then, nothing very substantial, and that came to an end at the end of the school year. At the same time, I answered an ad in the Village Voice. A band in North Carolina, apparently signed to a major, was looking for a guitar player. I noodled some notes onto a tape, took a picture, and sent it. I got an audition, then the gig. The band was called the Right Profile and, at the time, they were signed to Arista. ….but no record ever came out. Sort of a roots/American thing before that was a thing. Maybe Petty-ish? I hate to pigeonhole. So I moved to North Carolina. The band was led by a guy named Jeffrey Dean Foster, who is still making great music today. The drummer was Jon Wurster, a name I’m sure you know. For about nine months – again - I played with them. I was the wrong guy for the job though. I didn’t really have the kind of sideman chops they needed. Can’t remember if I jumped or was pushed. Maybe some combination. As an old man, it’s been nice reconnecting with them through the miracle of social media. A year or two after that, I restarted God’s Eye with my brother. In candor, it wasn’t very good. I had decided I needed to sing in a lower register, and it was really just bellowing. Despite that, we had remarkable success. We were managed by Boston dynamo Joyce Linehan, who would later go on to work at Sub Pop, work with Joe Pernice, and work as chief of staff to the Mayor of Boston. She got us much further than we (I) deserved. We made an album, an ep, and a single for Domino in England. The album also came out on Rough Trade in Germany. We got to play some dates in London. Nothing ever came out in the U.S. We had some interest, but it never materialized.

Anything in between that band and your move to the west coast?

Near the end of God’s Eye, I also played a bit with Green Magnet School. They needed a bassist, and I pitched in. Chris Pearson, one of the guitar players in the band, returned the favor, adding a second guitar for God’s Eye. I was lucky to be able to record a single with GMS, the Sub Pop double-single with Six Finger Satellite.

When did you make your movie to the Bay Area and what prompted that?

Frustration with music prompted it. I remember having breakfast with an exec from Stone Roses’ label. Silvertone, if I recall correctly. He sounded so into it! He was gonna put out the God’s Eye record in the U.S.! But it didn’t happen. I decided I needed to have more control over my life, so I bore down, finished college, and moved across the country to San Francisco, sight unseen, to go to law school.

The latest single from earlier this year. 

Were you in any bands before the Morning Line in San Francisco?

In law school I met a fellow student, Jason Hammon, who was in the midst of a pretty successful rock career. He was in Dance Hall Crashers. We stayed friends and, in 2000 or so, we started a band called My Fellow Astronauts, with his brother Gavin (another DHCrasher) and my friend Scout (Scout Shannon & the Willing Deceivers). We played some shows, recorded some demos, but nothing ever came of it.

Tell us about the beginnings of The Morning Line?

It’s 2004 or so. My friend Marco Baroz (Lucy & the Long Haul) played bass, David Knupp played guitar, and somehow we found David Shollenbarger. Maybe craigslist or something? David had played for awhile with Agent Orange. We were in our late 30’s, and knew not to take it too seriously. But we made some demos, and an album in 2007 (“Stay My Satellite”). We were and are very fortunate to have a friend named Peter Craft, who has a great studio called Boxer Lodge, and great skills. We got to spend a year working on the album, and get it just the way we wanted. We self-released, but got a few reviews and a few fan letters, and that’s all I could hope for. Eventually, the lack of success that comes with being in a band of forty-somethings took its toll, and the band was pretty much dissolved in 2008. But Peter (also a terrific drummer) and I kept making demos. I wrote some stuff I liked in about 2015, so we started recording again using The Morning Line name. “Stephen Smith” is too generic to get the job done.

“Smoke,” from 2017, is a collection of things we did over a few years. “North,” from 2019, was a focused, intentional album project, all recorded with Peter, David Knupp, and Brian Mello (the Bellyachers). That’s the band today. I write the songs and sing, but it really wouldn’t sound like it does without them, especially Brian (I don’t think Peter or David will be offended by that).

I know you just released a Morning Line single. What’s next for the band?

Not sure! I’m still riding the high of getting a couple songs done with all of us in quarantine! We’re talking about putting out a collection of odds and ends: demos, the songs from this new single, some remixes. But I’m not sure. We’ll be putting out a couple of those old outtakes as a Big Stir digital single in June. An album of all new material is probably in the future, but I’d guess at least 18 months out. We’re . . . deliberate.

Prior to COVD was the band actively playing locals shows and or doing any touring?

Not really. We play from time to time, but it’s mostly a recording project at this point. You’d be surprised how little interest there is in watching an obscure group of fifty-somethings peddle their wares.

A man, his dog and a weird-ass mountain (ok, hill). 

Who are some of your favorite current bands, local or otherwise?

I’ve been oddly incurious about new music the past few years. I just looked at the Outside Lands schedule and was like, “scarypoolparty? What?” I know that’s inconceivable to you. I tend to get excited by friends’ new products. People I’ve mentioned here, like Brian Mello and Scout Shannon, have had things out over the past year or two. My friend Russell Tillitt has something coming out. Jeff Shelton’s Well Wishers. Just off the top of my head. Bigger name stuff? I like the new Besnard Lakes record. The most recent Sleaford Mods. I’d be happy to hear the new Wrens record, which I suspect may never come.

What are your top 10 desert island discs?

You know how hard this is. Every day a different answer, right? Here goes:

Neil Young – Live Rust The Clash – London Calling Wrens – Meadowlands X – Los Angeles Gang of Four – Entertainment Replacements – Let it Be Jesus Lizard – Goat Jam – Sound Affects Teenage Fanclub – Catholic Education Wipers – Over The Edge

Those and a hundred others.

Final words? Closing comments? Words of wisdom?

Thanks for giving me the chance to think about this stuff. It’s fun to do a little reminiscing. As you know, there’s a deep bench of older indie-rock folks out there, still at it, and doing it pretty well. Thanks for giving us some attention.

 BONUS QUESTION: Red Sox or Giants?

60/40 Giants. It's nice to have a team in each league.

 https://themorningline.bandcamp.com/

[igotbellarkeforthat]

congrats on the followers!! i would looove a bellarke drabble! could you do maybe one where clarke cuts bells hair and shaves his beard? and maybe madi comes in and makes fun of bell looking so young again? lol

Ahhh, thank you so much @bellamybb! You may have actually been my lucky number 400! I love this prompt and this drabble got away from me a little bit. A little bit of angst, a little bit of fluff. Set after whatever crazy stuff goes down in Season 7 and our heroes are allowed to RELAX (I’m speaking it into existence). Hope you enjoy!! 🥰💕

***

“Dammit.”

Clarke paused at the frustrated murmur that issued from the doorway just ahead of her. Curious, she approached and poked her head into the room.

“Bellamy?”

Bellamy sat in a chair with his back to the door, hunched over something at the table in front of him. He turned quickly at the unexpected voice, and if Clarke were someone else, she would have laughed. The lower half of his face was covered in a foamy, white substance and the hair on the left side of his head was shorter than the hair on the right. The thing on the table he had been leaning over was a tiny oval mirror. A bowl of water and 2 small towels sat off to the side.

Clarke crossed her arms and leaned against the doorway as a bemused smile crept across her face.

“What are you doing?” It was obvious what he was doing, but she couldn’t help asking.

When he saw who had interrupted him, he relaxed and turned back around to scowl into the mirror.

“Just trying to clean up a little bit. I was starting to look like one of the Eligius miners.”

“You look like an old man,” Clarke teased, coming over and looking pointedly at the foam covering his beard.

“Yeah, well,” he huffed out a laugh. “I am over 130 years old.”

They shared a smile at the joke and the bizarre life that fate had handed them. Clarke wondered if they could ever feel normal again and realized maybe that was the real reason behind Bellamy’s sudden need for change. He was looking for a fresh start. And she could help give that to him.

“I hate to tell you this, but if your goal is to look less like a convict who spent years in deep space drilling into asteroids, you’re failing miserably. Give it here,” she gestured to the knife in his hand.

“It’s not that bad,” he grumbled. But he offered her the hilt, settled back into the chair, and closed his eyes.

She smiled to herself and got to work, quickly evening out the sides and back so they fell just above his ears. Then she shortened the hair in front so it covered his forehead, but no longer flopped into his eyes. As she trimmed, his hair began to curl more tightly, just as she remembered it before Praimfaya. After a few more minutes, she stepped back to run a critical eye over her work. It was a little choppy, but a pretty good job overall.

Bellamy opened his eyes and squinted into the mirror.

“Thanks,” he sighed, running his hand through his now more prominent curls. “That feels better. Who knew the great Clarke Griffin was an accomplished hair stylist?”

Clarke nudged him with her elbow. “Well, I did spend six years taking care of mine and Madi’s hair. Though, braids were more my specialty. We’ll have to save that for next time.”

Bellamy smirked before turning back to the mirror. He tilted his head to inspect his foam-covered chin and sighed once more. “I don’t suppose you can help with this. I have this thing,” he held up a tool that Clarke recognized as a straight razor, “but I’ve never used one. I imagine it’s probably similar to using a knife, but…”

“Actually, I have used one of these before,” she held out her hand for the razor.

“Oh? Did you have a beard during those six years that I don’t know about?” he joked, handing it over.

She gave him a small smile before gazing down at the tool in her hands, a long-ago memory surfacing that caused an ache to bloom in her chest.

“Clarke?”

Bellamy had sobered and was watching her with concern.

“My dad used to have one of these, on the Ark. It belonged to his grandfather, I think. My mom,” she paused to gather herself and will away the burning that started behind her eyes. That loss was still very fresh. Bellamy reached out to place a comforting hand on her forearm. She took a shuddering breath and started again.

“We didn’t have a mirror, so my mom would help him shave. But then she got busy with being the head doctor and being on the council, so I learned how to do it. My dad was my hero, so I was always looking for some way to help him.”

She shook off the melancholy and squared her shoulders.

“Clarke, you don’t have to-“ Bellamy began, but she waved him off.

“I want to. Besides,” she attempted to bring some levity back into the conversation, “you never ask for help. Who knows when this will happen again? Now lean back.”

He looked like he was going to protest once more, but thought better of it and did as requested.

“Now try to keep still and don’t talk. I don’t want to cut you,” Clarke instructed.

He searched her face for a moment and then tilted his head back.

“I trust you.”

A thrill ran through Clarke at his words, and she knew they went much deeper than just this moment. She swallowed against the lump in her throat and pushed the emotions to the back of her mind. She would have time later to dwell on her feelings and what they meant. She pulled the towel and bowl of water towards her and got started on her task. For a long time, the only noise was the scraping of the blade against Bellamy’s skin and the faint sounds of conversation and laughter drifting up from the courtyard outside. She could feel his eyes on her as she carefully worked her way down his cheek to the line of his jaw. Somehow Clarke felt that this was new territory for them, a level of intimacy they had never experienced with each other. She reached the underside of his jaw and started very delicately on his neck. When she was done, she repeated the process on the other side, revealing more and more of the freckled skin underneath. Every now and then, she would adjust his position with a gentle hand on his cheek or chin. All the while, Bellamy watched her, the silence growing heavier between them. She worked methodically and with precision, and soon the only part left unshaved was a center stripe down his neck.

“Don’t move,” Clarke whispered, afraid that speaking too loudly would break whatever spell had settled over the room. She saw Bellamy’s hand clench where it rested on his thigh.

Holding the skin taut so she didn’t nick him, she dragged the razor over his Adam’s apple with painstaking care. Finally, she scraped off the last bit of foam and ran her finger softly along the ridge. Bellamy swallowed, and she was momentarily absorbed in the way it bobbed under her fingertips. Then he shifted under her touch and Clarke refocused, realizing he was probably growing uncomfortable with his head tilted back at such an angle.

“Done,” she murmured, turning to place the razor on the table. She picked up the clean towel and dipped it into the bowl of water. After wringing out the excess, she handed it to Bellamy who began to wipe his face clean. When he lowered the towel, Clarke felt as though she had gone back in time. There was the Bellamy who was her co-leader at the dropship. The one who went into the mountain and came to her rescue in Polis. The one she had drawn over and over in her sketchbook and the one she had talked to everyday on the radio to keep herself sane. Without thinking, her hands came up to rest on either side of his face, thumbs stroking the now smooth skin of his cheeks. He closed his eyes and leaned into her touch, and she could feel his pulse racing against her fingers. The silence became too much.

“Clarke, I-“

“Clarke? Clarke, where are you?”

Running footsteps echoed from the hall and they pulled away from one another.

Madi came skidding into view.

“Oh, there you are! I was just- woah,” she interrupted herself, taking in Bellamy’s appearance and the odd, weighty atmosphere in the room.

“Hey, Madi,” Bellamy smiled, trying to lighten the mood. “Clarke gave me a haircut. What do you think?”

Apparently deciding everything was ok, the young girl looked him over once more. Her eyes sparkled mischievously as a grin took over her face.

“I think you look a lot less like you get to tell me what to do. You barely look like an adult!”

“Hey now!” Bellamy protested, pretending to be indignant. “Show some respect for you elders!”

“Too late!” she shot back. “Your beard is what made you seem old and wise. Without it, you’re just not as intimidating. Sorry!” She turned her attention back to Clarke. “I was just coming to find you because they’re about to serve dinner. Are you coming?”

“Yeah, we just finished up with this,” Clarke replied, looking at her daughter fondly.

“Ok, I’m gonna go save us some seats. See you there! Bye Bellamy!” she grinned cheekily. And then she was gone as quickly as she’d come.

A loaded silence filled the space between them. After a moment, Bellamy was the one to break it.

“Thank you for this,” he gestured at the towels and razor on the table. “I just… needed a change, I guess. I’m going to get this cleaned up, you go and meet up with Madi.”

Clarke had spent her whole life making decisions with her head. It’s how she and her people had survived everything the ground had thrown at them. But now- now that they were finally and completely at peace- she thought that maybe she could start making some decisions with her heart.

“Hey,” she reached out and grabbed Bellamy’s hand, letting his warmth become her own.

He looked back at her, an unspoken question in his eyes. The hope she saw there was echoed within her own heart and for the first time in a very long time, she wasn’t fearful of the future.

“Come on,” she tugged him towards the door. “We can clean this up later.”

He only hesitated for a moment before grasping her hand more tightly and allowing her to lead him from the room.

The suns were setting as they made their way to the dining hall. Tomorrow marked the beginning of a fresh start and a bright future for them, for their people, and for humanity. And they would welcome it hand in hand. Bellamy and Clarke. Together. 

[charmed-asylum]

👨‍🍳# FOODIE👨‍🍳

#Foodie, Part 1 

Summary: Something happening in Easter Hills. Something that effecting everyone under the surface. Could this just be a phase a trick that no one can shack off? Is this something that will pass with another or can we all be heading for destruction

Declaimer: #Foodie has some curse words, use and mention of drugs, and roadkill. Also, I do have dyslexia so be easy with me!!! 

A/N:So who would think after doing a love story I go be switching it up to some sci-fi. Let me know what you think or want to be added to the taglist. Or simple to sit my butt down and stop with the dramatics xoxo Tia

Word Count: 6,336

MASTER LIST 

Tagged: @linkispink1995​ @weapinggwillowss​ @strangerfictions​

I wish I could remember what it was. Could it be the color of the sky, how tall the grass starts to grow in Mr. Jackson ranch-style house across the street, or maybe it was the air? The way the breeze would flow dance across the sky. I wish I can tell you. Even now even after so many months that have passed, I don't remember. One thing I do know is it started Columbus Day weekend. It was it at once and maybe that why no one realizes it till it was too late. I wish I was stronger maybe I could have done something. Then again who am I kidding?

The seasons have changed but I could still remember the rush I felt when I pelted my way down my street cracked concerted road. I did not have much control in my life but bike rides were all mine. Tomorrow was finally gonna be the day I been waiting for months for. He was finally coming back to me. As I turn into the parking lot of Easter Hills High it was already a full parking lot. The next song started to play when I saw a familiar face across the parking lot surrounded by a group of posters and zombies. Have you ever thought about your soul - can it be saved? 

Or perhaps you think that when you're dead you just stay in your grave. I was still playing when tossing over my beat-up backpack over a shoulder.

" What you barbie slut" voice that belongs to the center of the crowd's attention.

Janet was a type of girl that was born pretty and perfect. I always wonder how we became friends. She tells me it is because the sun always needs the moon and stars. I tell her I am nothing but a black hole. There was a time was little I thought maybe there was more to that but after a kiss under the stars, I was lost with the dyer fear of losing her. So we just became what we are now the infinite duo. Her red ginger hair dance with the cool Midwestern breeze as her Mona Lisa's lips playfully move with each word drew more and more people closer and closer. 

" Space cadet stuck in orbit again huh" Janet said with her hand on her hip. I smiled with crimson color coming across my cheeks as I close the gap between us too. 

"Sorry. Just nerves. Can we talk before homeroom J" I asked not paying anyone around us any attention. I already knew what the whispers were about the same thing it always is why. She crocks her pear shape face to the side and her hazel eyes stare into my brown ones. That was another thing we just got each other. She was the fun bi sexual goddesses I was just me the girl who happens to have gotten lucky. 

Without a word, she licks her lips then places two fingers in her mouth to make a V and whistle for her things which a freshman was holding her. After a simple wink and kiss on the cheek to that freshman, she walks off with us being hand and hand to our spot. 

I look around before sitting on the swing and watch as she pops a few of her mom Dextromethorphan like it was a mint. With a big smile, she jumps onto the swing and kick back her feet and smiled. I wish I was like her ability to be free able to kick back and not care but I never was given that ability given that chance. Her long hair moves with her back and forth as she sings Katy Perry off-key. 

" Thank I, huh I been thinking. I think I'm ready to you know with KP" I blur out with my hands cling to the chains for my life. My eyes close shut till I was seeing rainbow loading wheels across my eyes sight. SLAP " What the hill billy hell. That hurt" I said opening my eyes wide and rub my thigh. Janet shook her head and look like me I had 101 heads attach to my head.

" Issac. Are you shitting me right now" Janet said now standing in front of me. Her hazel eyes twinkle with the sun. 

I slowly roll my bottom lip thought my teeth a few times before I look up at her like a kid who had her hand in the cookie jar with chocolate all over my face. She got closer and stop me so I have to look at her. I hated how she gets me to talk when I was not ready to. I dazed out to pass her to the tall grass that sways with the wind. Right before that was a raccoon who has been a sacrifice to the roadkill gods. 

" Yes. We have been together for three half years and I'm gonna be 18 in a few months. I don't want to lose him. I mean he already talks about marriage and stuff. How we are meant to be with one another. Him in the war what if he does not make it. Next time. I am just thinking about it. I never do anything. Janet Florence Bates. Either I am too chicken scraps about it or I can die. I am so sick of living out in this world in a bubble" I said finally looking to those Friday afternoon hazel eyes.

She nods and took my hands. Rubbing her white french tip thumb against my skin she brought it up to her heart. " One thing I wish I did was to wait. Remember when we were in seventh grade and I dared to do seven minutes in heaven with Derek Miller. You told me that I was still worth the universe no matter what. Do-" She was cut off with the sound of the second bell. " Shit I need to see Popi before class. Tell them I am using the bathroom and oh it that time of the month" Janet said over her shoulder as she ran over to find her girlfriend. 

" I said that last week J" I shout out.

Walking backward Janet thought about it, " He doesn't know how a woman body works". I laugh as I made my way down the busy streets also know as the hallways.

I just made it with a second to spare. Taking a deep breath in I nod to the teacher went to my seat. Putting my backpack on the desk to make a pillow I lean my head on it and look out the window. The once busy parking lot was empty with no one. Corner of my eyes I saw some movement. For a second look like I saw a squirrel eating the dead raccoon. Its fur was cover in a bit blood on its paws and tail. Getting up from I walk over to the window. Still watching the squirrel. 

" MISS. SMITH. SIT DOWN FOR ANNOUNCEMENTS" the teacher said taking her out her trance. Giggles and fingers were pointing as I look around. mouth sorry and ease back into my seat look down at my hands. Moments later Janet rush in with a huge smile on her face, She stays upfront to flirt with the teacher taking his glasses and rolling it in her mouth as she explains the female privates. Buzz Buzz.

Mi Amor: Hav fun in school. I see you tomorrow bae. IYL

 I look up and suppressed a greedy smile.

 Me: Can not wait. xxx.

I smiled and glance outside. The squirrel was gone but so was most of the raccoon. My curl drop in front of my face. My eyes wide as I look around it was not even ten minutes how did that happen. It is only your mind. After trying to calm my nerves I settle and got ready for the day. The thing about going to school in a dead zone is not much happening each day is the same. The coolest thing we had to happen was when Sally Maxfield got fifth place in the nearby town beauty competition. We were the one place the devil probably send folks as a line of torture. Everyone knew each other and marries one another. Grow old have kids work the same jobs your parents or neighbor had. Just so happen my parents two of the coolest jobs. Mother was assistant to the mayor and my dad work as a scientist that was a station out here. They move here when they got married I still do not get that. Nose deep in my latest novel off my four pages list. I felt a few pokes on my back. 

" Guess what I heard from Paul in six periods of American History. Looks like the old hag bit the dusk and they just found her body this morning. Guess what with just her body and her 20 cats. God Issac if I end up anywhere close to that kill me" Janet said pulling out her lunch, sushi, and flavor water.

" Lunch looks smaller than last week. Another diet J. I do not know why you do that your perfect" I said pulling out my lunch with a sigh. Janet peak over at me and my silver can lunch box cover in bumper stickers. Janet rolls her eyes and sips her cool water. I took out my lunch: a bottle of filter water, steal tight thing of organic crackers, dried up fruits, and a mystery meal ( as my mom called it). She stops mid-chew and looks at me with doubt and wonder. 

" What that" Janet said looking over my lunch. Apart from I wanted to chuckle each day the same thing. Sipping my water I turn to look at her. My legs shielding hers

"It is my lunch crackers fruit. Want some" I said holding out the mystery meal packet 

" Wait for a second that fruit. I do not get you. I come with my lunch and you have that. Still, you cover your eyes during the sex parts" Janet asked. My smile got bigger as I nod. Her face still in disbelief.

" Yes. Because I will like to live till my 18 birthday. J. Do not forget the ice cream birthday cake, spaghetti, banana nut bread, or many other times I chance it" I said turning back to the table Janet always got me to throw reasoning away.

" Just be careful that it looks like it will attack you alright. Space cadet" Janet said poking at my lunch to see if it moved. I wish to chance it was a luxury for me but never is, I will never be normal and for that, I am the envy of everyone. The problem goes down to the simple fact of an allergy I have a very rare very troublesome allergy, Eosinophilic Gastrointestinal Disorder. Long story short think of anything fun and add a 99% chance I can die of it. 

" God damn it. Did you hear me? The last two periods we going on some field trips to the Coast Forrest for science today" Janet said wiping her mouth. Nodding I look at my half-eaten lunch. "Popi gonna meet us there. She got these new drugs called Trippe that her hook up gave her. I talk her into allowing me to try it with her. Maybe get some others to buy some. It is organic you should try some" Janet said checking her makeup in her little compact mirror. I gentle took a deep breath out and move a few curls behind my ear as I tried to remind Janet again I can not do that. Then she must have seen my thoughts as she pointed to me with her lipstick and said, " It is organic. You eat all that weird shit. What to say that and Trippe are not made of the same shit" Janet said putting her stuff away.

I wanted to tell her no but instead, I said I think about it before she went off to get last night's homework from someone. I loved her with all my heart but sometimes she just did not get me. Crazy how you can love someone with all your heart. Not want anything from it just a simple notion that you will never be alone. Someone that will have your back and would never judge you. No one did but KP ever promises you that.

Mi Amor: I wish you are here. I feel so alone.

I waited a few more minutes for him to reply till I decide he probably was on the plane and could not reach me. Rubbing the back of my neck I close my eyes. God did I need sleep and a bubble bath. Noise rattle my nerves and the never-ending sound of people screaming made me flinched. Jumping up I look around before heading out to the bathroom to finish my lunch. Last year its been like this need want to escape want some time alone. Maybe its fact in a few months I will be graduating. I will be free to be me whatever that was. As my phone alarm ring, I slowly got up from my spot on the floor and got ready to head back before Janet realize I was gone. With my head hanging low I walk over to the sink to flush away any doubt of living any sadness I been feeling. water dripping from my face I look back at my reflection. Brown sugar eyes looking back with my hair full-blown curl thanks to the cold water. My button nose raw from the tears I just finished having. Taking another breath in I grab the end of my dress and rub my face.

The ride to Coast Forrest was roughly 15 minutes long. Janet was sitting next to Popi kissing like horny rabbits and I sat beside them by the window. Popi cool. She wears her hair short blonde with pink tips pixie cut with random drunken mistakes to remind her you only live once and a nose ring with a lip tattoo that said suck it. At first, she did like me worried I was trying to take Janet away till I reassure her what I and Janet have will always be a deep unbreakable friendship and I was happy with KP. Once I asked her if she can do a sharpie tattoo out of pure boredom she grew a flower crown on my wist. Which she now does every time she sees me. My arm the blanket canvas for her crazy thoughts. Colors change as I wave my hands up and down as if I was fish in the open water.

Coming out for air Janet smirk at me and whisper into Popi's ear. With a nod, Popi took out her bag and hand Janet something when no one but me was looking. 

" So I heard you might be adventuring out my young grasshopper. Finally going to get some action huh" Popi said sniffing her nose-wiping away the last bit of blow she did before getting on the bus. I peak over to Janet who just whistles and spoke to a random person behind us.

" Maybe. YOYO right" I said licking my bottom lip

" God Smith you something. So fucking cute. little puppet" Popi said pinching my arm. 

" Tell her about Trippe baby" Janet added.

" Thanks, angel. Huh, so what my guy told me this is some top-shelf shit. Like the best of the best only take. I am talking mob cartel you name it and its all made on some hippie compound. I am one of the first to have it" Popi pointed out proud of herself. She took one out and handed it to me.

" How do you take it. I never sniff anything before. Or put anything up my butt" I asked curiously.

Janet giggles at my response and hugs over to speak to me without anyone hearing us." From what Popi heard it pretty much either end type of drug but oral tends to work find. The away only thing we want poking you in the but is Kindred Phillip Richards thick long penis" Janet laugh.

It was small and look like something out a Candy land world. The packing was the neon pick with a smiley face with its tongue out and eyes cross out. As I play with it looking at it closer it had a strange symbol on it. Inside the little baggie was a pill shape drug with what looks to be a liquid power inside. While Popi was trying to talk a boy into a threesome with Janet and herself. I snatch a picture on my Polaroid camera and stuff it in my pocket. I look at it once more. It was inviting but apart of me was not sure. Kind of like it was a candy a treat. Last time I tried something Janet said it was alright. I end up in ICU for two months. Everything around her tone out as she kept playing with this drug in her hands. Very own mystery. What made this so special so welcoming. Bring it closer to my nose I let it linger see if I can figure what it was made off. I had a nose for such things. Lana Del Rey plays on my head as I play with it. It was organic maybe it was safe to do it. 

" We are here. I have to make a phone call. So just take a paper and start feeling it out" Mr. Lopez said. He was probably going to scream at his soon to be ex-wife who ran off with their younger babysitter last week.

Second, he left everything to reassure. Loud noises left and right. Booming. Popi look at me and took the drug out my hand and gave Janet the nod. Show Time. Janet gave both of use a wink before she swings herself up to stand on the seat Dead Poet Society style. Flipping her hair she screams HEY. Everyone's eyes shift to Janet quite waiting on her hand and foot. With a wolf grind, she grabs up the drug and tosses it up and down in the air.

" Alright shit brains and posers. I got here the upcoming stuff that every one that is hot now is doing. Actors athletes business people and even world leaders. This stuff here is told to make oxy look like a sugar-free candy. This stuff is fully organic and to give you a ride of your life. Once you have it once you never find anything to get you this fuck up ever again. Word around this Trippe would put you on a ride you will never forget So who wanna party" Janet said jumping down to the ground with her hands up above her head. I was the first to clap much sooner then I should of. Most look at me and I turn and look outside at Mr. Lopez on the verge of tears. Everyone was shouting not wanting to be left out wanting in on the mystery on the trend. As Popi passed it out Janet took the money stuffing it into her bra. Till everyone had one. All glee with excitement thrilled to do it.

" Hey, you ready" Janet asked. I look at her and went to grab some money taking out a twenty I slowly hand it to her. They all went to take it and as I am about to take it I stop and shoot up. My breathing got short and I clench to the seat trying to catch it. I felt tears as a minor panic attack was coming ahead. My sight got dizzy and I shock my head crying a silent cry. Janet stops before taking it and looks at me holding tight to my chest. 

" I can't I can not take it. I can not take the gamble. J I am so sorry. I wish I could" I said trying to stop the tears. People around me starting to go down on their trip. Some started to laugh like drunken hyenas, a few spaces out like a psychic patient drop on drugs, some were paranoid with a flinch and rest was a mixture of emotions. I slowly got my things together and try to head for the door. An arm stops me and pushes me back down.

" Where are you going. Come on. Amaryllis. It alright. Just do it" Janet said shoving it into my face. I shook my head no and push it away. I look around everything was spinning. 

" I can not do that. You know I can die Janet " I plead to her. She shook her head and rolled her eyes. Walking back to Popi she said something to her as I stood still rubbing my arm looking at the ground. 

"You are full of bullshit. Issac. Why is it one second your talking about fucking your boyfriend and next to your acting like a little kid? Is this thing you have any real or is it all fake just like you"Janet hissed. I knew she was already high from whatever she was doing but the words still hurt. It made everything hurt ten times more.

Without speaking I shook my head and left the bus. I had to get as far as I could before the tears came down. I tried KP once again but no answer. I don't know how far I was got before I finally stop. Green was cover everywhere like a sea of green. I slowly drop to my knees and allow my hands to become one with nature. I lean back and breathe. Rubbing my hands from the tip of my head across my neck down to my sides. My eyes fill with tears glitter flowing around. I calm myself with words of encouragement. I turn my head to see a few deer and bears running away passed me. Stopping I slowly got up to my feet and look around. I did not hear any birds no bugs. I stalked over where they were running from till I saw it. A dead deer laying in a bed of white flowers. That was not what scared me it was rabbits eating away the deer. It fills me with fear and dread. I slowly step back to I am far enough to run. I ran an ran till I hit a branch. As the visions slowly started to fade images of the dead animals came to mind on repeat.  I should have known that was only the beginning

Rain and the distant sounds of voices woke me up. The ground was wet and droplets kept falling into my face. Everything was fuzzy and for a second I forgot where and how I got where I am at. Taking a second in I slowly got to my feet thanks to a tree nearby. The voices got louder and I slow recognized it as Mr. Lopez. How long have I been out? 

Licking my lips I call out where I was. Till I saw a flashlight beaming into my face. Covering my eyes with my hand the footsteps grew closer and closer.

" God. Miss. Smith. Where have you been I been looking everywhere? For you. I am so sorry. I thought you were on the bus then when we got back I did not see you and your mom called the cops. We have been looking for you for a few hours" Mr. Lopez said smoothing the hair out my face. 

Holding onto him tight I cried into the crook of his neck not letting go of his green polo shirt that was too small and a bit skin would peak out. But I did not care I was scared. He slowly helps me stable myself and ushers me to the rest of them. There was a small crowd with flashlights. A woman with fair skin that complements her tall thin body with piercing blue eyes ran towards throw the crowd calling out my name with a man espresso skin and dark short black hair and fitted glasses.

" Amaryllis. My baby" Mom called out as the space between us got smaller. I left Mr. Lopez behind and ran into my mom's arms muffling my cries with her long black hair. I could hear her say thank you to Mr. Lopez but I did not move. I do not remember making it home.

I did not remember anything till I was laying in my twin size bed bundle under my warm blue glitter comforter in one of KP old football jersey. I did not hear from Janet and no one from the class was there looking. I would say I was hurt but the words she said still sting.

" Hey, Amaryllis. Its dad I am coming in" Dad said coming in.

I turn my head to see him walking in with an old antique tray with two small teacups. I slowly got up and look at him with a sad smile. Daddy always knew when it was tea time.

" Thanks, dad. Sorry for carrying you and mommy" I said bring my knees to my chest. He smiled and play with my hair in his hands.

" What happen kiddo. What made you run off like that " He asked. I wish I could tell the truth wish I can give him the full story. But to do that I will put more people in trouble and danger then I will want. So like every time before I lied. 

" The kids said something. I did not agree. I went off to take pictures when I trip and fell. I am so sorry" I said looking into the teacup.

" Promise you will never let anyone including Janet or Kindred to disrespect you. Make you feel little" Dad said drinking the tea. I nod and stay quiet as he started to talk about his newest discovery.

The next couple of days I stayed home after my blood work came back off from stress. I hide away from everyone only speaking to my mom, dad, and text and phone calls from KP. I planned not too obsessed but by day two of my week off, I look and look till my finger got numb of Janet and Popi social media. Folks in Easter Hills, New Mexico wasn’t smart. From what was a bus of 25/30 of my peers slowly becoming the whole school in a matter of days. Everyone praising about Trippe. If it was not about that stupid drug it was dead inside pictures of Janet smiling or as of Thursday at 4:36 pm food. I thought about speaking to her but each time by the second ring I hang up.

Mrs. Ethan was the town vet and all-around queen of gossip. We both have a love to talk about the endless amount of facts and news around the world. She had a job and a life I admire minus the gossip and heavy wine drinking. Today she was allowing me to take the lead of performing an emergency C section on a third-place local star Bichon Frise Mr.Fuzzy Bear.

“ Now Issac remembers gentle across right there till your right here” Mrs. Ethan said standing beside me as I slowly made the incision across the lower abdomen. After each step, I ask a few questions and checking everything I was doing was right. 

Inside Mr. Fuzzy Bear after the chew toy was this strange clear like glitter goo. I reach down and look at his pupils which were highly diluted for the meds with gave him to sleep. Mrs. Ethan was taking care of some paperwork in her office so I grab a few test tubes and draw a bit of blood. Nothing is more important than checking all your boxes. After I scoop out all the strange goo out of him I stitch him up and put him in a cage for later.

“ Yes thank you. Oh yes. I will be coming that way on the fifth of next month. Thank you let me know when you got the payment” Mrs. Ethan said. After the end of the call, she spins in her chair kicking and cheering out loud. 

“ Found some blurry treasure. Mrs. Ethan” I said leaning by the doorway with my legs cross one another.

“ Yes. A seller I know in New York came across a set of six large 1970s green glass Italian Chianti bottles. Only roughly 3,000. He gonna hold it for me for two weeks. Huh heaven, Issac heaven” She said full of glee.

“I thought you just like expensive wine ?” I asked. She once shows me her prize-winning collection of wine in her underground cellar with over 50,000 dollars worth. Even my parents were impressed which is a very hard thing to do.

 “ Yes. But honey a girl can never have too many toys and finer things in life. Like that boy toy of yours. Seeing him soon right” Mrs. Ethan said with a wink. Before I could tell her anything she ways already on the phone to give the good news to her husband. I would have told her after my dad ban any date night I have not seen KP yet well besides the two times he hike up the side of the house to my window to cuddle with me or how I cried into his arms one night about how rude Janet was to me. 

School felt different from the week I missed. Was it the scent in the air the vibe that was off. Something that did not fit right. Mr. Lopez was the 1st to check on me which I could not hear much of because people were talking about Trippe or what was for lunch. Even Mr. Lopez who acts like no one noticed had a neon pink little baggie poking out from his briefcase.

Me: Save me I feel I jump fell right into the Twilight Zone.

Mi Amor: Baby lmao. I am sure its nothing. 

Me: Ur right. Thnx xx I have lunch wish me good luck.

I pulled tight to my backpack and pull right through the double metal doors. I put a lot more effort today in what I look like out of my dresses and overalls with a pair of baby blue flared jeans with a thick black melt and a red long sleeve crop top that wasn’t one from it being two sizes too big. The lines on for food were three times longer than usual. And there wasn’t much talking like there usually is. I just did not feel like the Easter Hills High that I been going to for four years now. What made it more strange seeing Janet hunch over like she was a prisoner. Her hair wasn’t done like it usually is. Flat and lifeless and she has dark bags under her eyes. Worried was not the word for it. There wasn’t one.

  “Hey J. Long time no see huh pickle breathe” I said kicking a pretend rock with my black velvet Superga platform sneakers. Janet did recognize me at first no one did. So I got closer and poke her shoulder a few times. By the fifth poke she grips tight to finger so tight I was starting to feel some pain.

“ God Jesus saint Janet. Stop your hurting me” I shouted. Everyone stops and looks at us. She slowly let go of my finger when she saw the pain in my eyes. She grabs a bottle and ran out. I called and ran after her like the good little kitten I was.

“ JANET WAIT WAIT UP” I shouted running after her.

“ Sorry okay. I did not mean to hurt you. Issac” Janet said looking down at the ground. I shook my head and came up to her and lifted her chin up so she can look at me. At first look, her eyes look like how Mr. Fuzzy Bear’s eyes looked. Glazed over. 

“Hey no. I am worried about you. Is everything okay? Did you and Popi get into a fight?” I tried to say but halfway my voice started to crack. We had this way and something was telling me something was wrong. “ Janet. I am worried about you and what this magnesium. Janet, maybe we should ta-” I was cut off by Janet.

“ Look I was a 90s bitch to you. And I screwed up. I hated that I said those things. The week you were gone and we did not talk suck. But I and Popi are fine and if I don’t go now I won’t be able to take some Trippe before classes. And it is no big deal it is just a short cut. I call you later” Janet said then ran off. Something was not right and I knew no one but me was going to be able to figure it out.

[fairyqueenofthedragons]

On Wings of Gold I Fly

Next Chapter (coming soon)

Raxtus shook himself as he swept out of the shrine.

He was visiting Fablehaven again, mainly to see his foster mom Shiara. She wasn’t expecting him but that would make it fun. He liked surprising her.

He turned invisible and flew over the lake, noticing a figure standing near the edge.

He frowned, there was never anyone here when he came. And this figure, they shone like the sun.

His eyes widened when another figure came out of the water, he landed nearby, silently, and watched as the first one turned and ran, the second one giving chase and catching the first at the stairs of the gazebo.

He moved closer, carefully, and saw the first figure, who shone so bright it was hard to see, seemed to be a girl, and the second??? Made of wood?

The wood figure grabbed the girl and held her upside down facing away from him and started off.

Well, that was interesting.

He decided to follow them.

++++++++

He watched the wooden figure dig at the ground on a pretty hill he didn’t remember seeing before. Was it new?

He slowly moved closer, she seemed to be tensing, to run? She wouldn’t escape that way. And she shone so bright, it reminded him of the Fairy Queen.

“Um miss…” Raxtus whispered.

She jolted, looking around wildly, “Who’s there?” she whispered after a moment.

“I’m Raxtus, I’m invisible right now. You um… you seem to be in some trouble?”

She nodded, slowly pushing up.

“I’d stay still for the moment, I don’t think it’ll do anything if you don’t move.”

She sat still, frowning, “Can you help me?”

“I guess so, but I don’t understand why you don’t do it yourself. You’re so bright, it’s blinding.”

She huffed, “Well I don’t know how to use that light, I don’t know any magic.”

“Well,” He frowned, thinking back to Shiara’s lessons, “You have to call the light, and focus is, and then press your will into it? It’s different for the different spells you’re doing. Um, in this case you could try a few things. Like force him to stop working, which would take a lot of power, but you have enough. Or you could try to destroy him, but fairy magic isn’t good for straight destruction, you’d have to get creative.” He paused, flushing as he realized the accidental pun, “Um, anyways. You can also try to change his loyalty, that might be the easiest.”

She was staring in the direction of his voice, making Raxtus flustered, “Okay, how… how do I do that?”

Well, your light is already out, so I guess… just wrap it around him? Push it through him and make him obey you? It’s kinda instinctual.”

She nodded, frowning, “I don’t know how to control my light.”

He let out a breath, that was a hard subject, he’d just tell her what he does, “Okay, so what you do is close your eyes. You feel the way the air is warm? You know how you can never go blind cause you have an inner light? You know how your body is warm? Reach for that feeling of warmth and comfort, pull it together, and then push it to your mou- er hands.”

That’s roughly what he does at least. It’s what works for dragons and seems to work similarly for fairies. He couldn’t really remember all the lessons Shiara had given him.

She stared at her hands intently for a minute before Raxtus noticed a change in the light. It grew more intense, he hadn’t thought that possible.

She gasped, “My hands are glowing!”

“Well, they were before, but I guess it would be visible to everyone now.”

She nodded, “what do I do now?”

“Now you focus on what you want, the puppet thing to obey you, and just, push the light into it?”

He studied her, “It might be easier to touch him to do it. The light just needs to overpower him.”

She let out a shaky breath and turned to the weird puppet thing, “Okay, okay, thank you.”

She slowly pushed closer, cupping her really really bright, blinding really, hands as if afraid the light would fade. Which it could, but she seemed to have a good grasp on it for the moment.

She slowly reached out and placed a hand on the puppets back and wrinkled her nose and squinted her eyes as she stared at the puppet.

Was it working?

Oh!

It was.

He could see the light spiraling off of her hands and enveloping the puppet. Slowly but surely the puppet was covered in the light. And then it suddenly stopped digging.

It was glowing with her light, which slowly seemed to sink into the puppet.

Raxtus couldn’t help the toothy grin at her success. She did it on the first try! That was amazing!

She let out a breath, eyes wide.

“Did that work?”

“Tell the puppet-“

“Mendigo”

“What?” Raxtus tilted his head, though she couldn’t see it.

“Its name is Mendigo.”

“ah, well, tell Mendigo to do something.”

She nodded, “Um… well it already stopped digging so… Mendigo get out of the hole.”

The puppet pulled itself out of the hole.

“Nice,” Raxtus cheered.

“I did it! I used my power! Thank you Raxtus!”

He grinned again, “No problem.”

“Can you… can you become visible now?”

He blinked, oh yeah, “Sure!”

He released his invisibility, she screamed, falling over backwards.

Oh yeah, he’s a dragon.

“Waitwaitwait! I promiseI’mnotscary I’mnotgonnaeatyouIpromise!”

She stared.

“Um… Hi?”

She let out a shaky giggle, “Hi.”

“Its… nice to meet you?”

“You’re a dragon.”

“Technically I’m a fairy dragon but… yeah.”

She tilted her head, slowly standing, “What’s a fairy dragon? Is it different from a regular dragon?”

“Uh, basically my egg was steeped in fairy magic so I’m part fairy, part dragon.”

“Oh, that’s cool!”

“yep…”

They both stood silently for a moment.

“So uh… why was the puppet attacking you?”

“Oh uh,” her shoulders fell. “That’s a long story.”

“I don’t have anything else to do today,” he said helpfully, lowering himself further to be more level with her.

“Well, it all started with-“

++++++++++++++++++

Kendra was back at Warren’s cottage, Raxtus poking his snout through the door.

They were discussing her magic, she was hopeful that she could use it to save the others.

Raxtus gave her some ideas of what she could do, making fire, heating up the air a bunch, growing plants, healing, identifying lies. There were a lot of things she could do.

He was currently teaching her how to throw her light, so that she doesn’t have to touch something to affect it.

“Once you get good enough, you should be able to just will your light out. I’ve seen Shiara do it loads of times.”

“Oh cool! That-“

Mendigo tapped on the window.

Raxtus immediately turned invisible.

“Mendigo, protect Warren and me from harm, but stay out of sight until my command.”

She made her way over to the window.

“It looks like a boy.” Raxtus whispered from the doorway.

She peeked out the window and froze.

That, that was Seth!

She recovered, and bolted to the door, almost tripping over the invisible Raxtus.

“Seth!” she cried.

“Kendra?” He said, stopping.

“You’re not dead!”

“Sure I am. I’m a ghost. I’ve been sent back with a warning.”

Kendra couldn’t stop smiling, “I thought I’d never hear you say something idiotic again!”

“Who else is with you?”

“Just Mendigo, Raxtus, and Warren. Hurry come inside.”

“Ha-ha,” Seth said, continuing toward the cottage at a leisurely pace.

“I’m serious,” Kendra said. “Come inside. Bad things have happened.”

“And I’m serious too,” he said, “Muriel called me back from beyond the grave to deliver a singing telegram. Though I don’t know who Raxtus is.”

Kendra put her hands on her hips, scowling, “Mendigo, show yourself.”

The puppet immediately jumped out from the bush it had been hiding behind. “Holy cow!” Seth exclaimed, recoiling. “What’s he doing here? And why is he taking orders from you?”

“Get inside and I’ll Tell you!” Kendra huffed. “I’ve never been gladder to see anybody. We have a big problem on our hands. But we also have help.”

“Okay okay… but who’s Raxtus?”

“Raxtus? You can show yourself, Seth is my brother.”

Raxtus reappeared.

Seth screamed.

Kendra giggled, “This is Raxtus.”

“Hello.”

Seth gaped, “That’s a dragon.”

“Yep, isn’t he amazing!”

“That’s a dragon.”

“Inside now Seth.”

“Kendra… That’s a dragon.”

Raxtus coughed, “Uh, it’s nice to meet you? Your sister told me some about you.”

“You’re a dragon. You can talk. You’re a talking dragon.”

“All dragons can talk, don’t be silly Seth,” Kendra dismissed, tugging him inside.

Raxtus laid his head back in the doorway.

“Talking dragons… okay.”

He slowly shook himself.

“Oh my god you’re a dragon! That’s so cool!”

“Uh, thank you?”

“He was teaching me how to use my magic.”

Seth’s head snapped to her, “You can use magic!”

“Yep, see!”

She focused hard for a moment, reaching for the warmth that was in her, pulling it carefully to her hands. They slowly started glowing, or at least their glow became visible to her.

“Your hands are glowing!”

“Yep. I managed to turn Mendigo’s loyalty to me all on my own! Well, after Raxtus talked me through it. He’s a good teacher.”

“What happened while I was eaten?”

“So much stuff Seth. So much.”

Cover made by: Eternitea40 on Wattpad

[derryhawkins]

what did you say?

summary: there are five times richie says those three little words to the love of his life, but it takes six for eddie to actually hear him and say it back. warnings: none?? i think word count: 7.4k a/n: this is set within canon so get ready for a tad bit of pain & angst. i’d put a spoiler warning for it ch2 but i haven’t seen it yet & idk how the final battle actually goes down so,, yeah. also this is the longest thing i’ve written under nine hours & sorry for any typos! x

i.

It wasn’t necessarily out of the blue for anyone in the Losers Club to say three special words to one another. They were a group of best friends who fought a demonic entity together – they almost died. After the oath, and once things settled back normal other than a few nightmares they had once in a while, the group of seven told each other ‘I love you’ more often than not, probably everyday if one were to count how often.

And of course Richie said it to Eddie – if anything, he said it to the smaller boy the most. It had started out as the Tozier boy joking around long before they fought a clown in the sewers, but, eventually as time went on, that changed. Richie wanted to say he didn’t know when it changed, because he knew the exact moment it did: with Bill, Beverly, Eddie and himself in that godforsaken house, the clown coming towards them, Eddie’s arm broken, everyone yelling but Richie shouting the loudest to get Eddie to look at him. Because – fuck. Fuck, Richie couldn’t lose Eds. His Eds. A boy he’s had a crush on for what seems like forever now. It had been in that terrifying moment that Richie realized with an equally terrifying realization that he loved Eddie fucking Kaspbrak. And, with time, he started saying those words to him less after everything ended. Not drastically so – he didn’t want to make it obvious.

But those three little words, the meaning of them more like, had shifted into something more, and saying them not in that way felt wrong.

It was some day random Saturday afternoon. The seven of them were lounging at the quarry, soaking up the warm sun the best they could with autumn just around the corner. Mike was with Bill in the water, and Beverly was nearby on a rock smoking a cigarette, Ben not too far away as he tried to get a radio to work so they weren’t in complete silence. Stan attempted to help, but between getting frustrated that they couldn’t get it to work and Bev’s cig smoke, he soon ventured into the water with Bill and Mike. Richie and Eddie were sitting on a towel together, both in swim trunks and the heat of the sun was making their shoulders turn the slightest bit pink, but as they ate some snacks Stan and Bev brought along, neither particularly cared just yet.

“Hey!” Richie exclaimed suddenly and turned to Eddie. “Lets stuff our faces and say something and see if the other can guess what we’re saying!”

Eddie made a face of pure disgust. “Ew, why would- that- how did you come up with that?! That sounds so fucking disgusting, Rich, oh my god, I don’t wanna see half eaten food in your germy mouth!”

“How can it be germy if your mom kisses it?”

“Richie, I swear!”

Richie busted out laughing. “C’mon, Eds!” He pleaded and stuck out his bottom lip, leaning towards the boy. “Please?”

“Get your face away from me!” Eddie grunted and put his hand on the side of Richie’s face, pushing him away, and Richie grinned some more, hoping the pink on his cheeks would come off as a sunburn or something. “Your stupid puppy eyes don’t work on me, fucker, not anymore!”

“You’re so lame.”

“I’m lame?!”

They went back and forth as they ate a couple more snacks. Occasionally, Stan shouted at them to shut up, and Bev once in a while egged Richie on, earning a death glare from Eddie as Richie, Ben, and Beverly laughed. Finally, Ben got the radio to work and turned it up load enough for everyone to hear. It wasn’t long after that when Mike came over and forcibly dragged the two outs away from the snacks, claiming they were going to eat all of it they didn’t leave right then.

At some point, they all got in the water. For a while they played together – chicken, splash attacks, fake drowning, sharks – but eventually they all drifted to do their own thing. Mike and Bill were racing one another and Ben was timing it. Beverly was seeing how far she could swim below the surface and for how long she could do it, but Stan stayed close by her in case something went wrong, and Eddie was floating on his back, basking in the sun some more. Richie was just swimming around randomly, annoying his friends when he felt like it, and talking everyone’s ears off even if they weren’t listening, but in all honesty he was mostly just speaking to Eddie.

Richie stopped swimming and splashing around for a second, eyes landing on Eddie. It was a blurry sight – he left his glasses in the grass so he wouldn’t lose them in the water – but it was sharp enough for him to see who it was. He squinted to make the sight better, wiping water from his eyes, and a fond smile formed on his lips. He sunk down to hide it with the water in case any of the losers were watching. The sounds of Mike and Bill shouting as they raced faded out, same with Ben’s enthusiastic yells as he cheered both boys on. Stan’s laugh mixed with Beverly’s became background noise. The birds chirping simply became nonexistent. Eddie was just floating. He looked decently relaxed, a content smile on his features. Brunet hair floating in the water and stuck to his forehead, and from what Richie could see, the other boy’s eyes were closed.

A garble of words and bubbles came up as Richie spoke. It took Eddie out of his relaxed state and he looked at Richie with quizzical eyes. “What the fuck was that, Trashmouth?”

Squinty eyes turned wide. He pushed himself above water. “Um- I like blue! Like the sky, and water, and the bra your mom wears when we-.”

“Beep beep, Richie!” A chorus of six voices sounded, paired with Eddie splashing Richie.

The boy laughed. He backed away once Eddie splashed him, thinking instead of voicing the words he had said underwater that Eddie thankfully didn’t understand.

I love you.

ii.

“If I knew you were going to be even more annoying, I would’ve fucking threw that joint in the trash – or better, not have come along at all! But no you and Bev just had to get high for the first time and bring me along in case any serious and bad shit happened- will you stop laying on me?! You’re not a pet, Richie!” Eddie went on, mouth moving a mile per second it seemed like, complaint after complaint escaping him.

He had been studying for end of semester finals like his other two friends should be doing, but the redhead and the trashmouth wanted to try getting high for the first time at fifteen. Ben was sick with the flu, and was only just now on the road to recovery, so he had been out of the question when the two wanted a friend to supervise them in case it somehow all went to shit. Bill claimed he always studied better alone, and Mike, as much as he wanted to join the two on their high journey, declined because he needed to help his granddad with something. Stanley at first had agreed but backed out last minute when he realized he hadn’t done a single thing for an important essay due in three days. So, it had been down to Eddie, who wanted to say no it all, but figured it would get him away from his mom for some time.

The boy now wished he had walked away when he had the chance.

While Bev was munching away on some chips as she looked at a fashion magazine, occasionally speaking so deep and meaningful that even Eddie had to remind himself he was perfectly sober. Hopefully. Could you get high from second hand weed smoke? He wondered if it were possible, considering they were confined in Richie’s bedroom, the boy’s parents out of town for work. But hopefully that wasn’t the case.

Once the weed had started kicking in for Richie, it was if a switch had been flipped. He wasn’t talking as much as he usually was. He hadn’t completely shut up, but he had gotten quieter the more he got high. And clingier, too. At first he had cuddled Beverly and told her he loved her. She didn’t mind until she had to run off to pee, and that was when Richie moved onto Eddie, causing the boy’s endless complaints because he was unable to study, let alone move. He was on Richie’s bed, study notes, papers, and books all around him until Richie not so neatly pushed some away and crawled into Eddie’s lap. Usually, Eddie could care less. He loved cuddles. But he needed to pass this one class in particular and Richie’s high-clinginess was preventing that.

“I should’ve gone with Stan,” Eddie said. “Fucking Stan, at least he would be letting me study!”

“Calm your tits, Eddie, the science exam still isn’t until next Friday,” Bev told, waving a hand dismissively as she flipped a page of the magazine.

“You promised I’d be able to study!”

“I did, yeah.”

“Meanwhile, I didn’t,” Richie said, sounding proud of himself. 

Eddie smacked him on the back of the head, muttering a few cuss words, and leaned back on his hands, Richie almost full on koala-ing him. Richie’s arms were wrapped around his torso and his head was nestled in the crook of Eddie’s neck, both legs on one side of Eddie in a bit of an awkward angle. Richie started talking again about one thing or another, but Eddie just tuned him out and let his head fall back, eyes staring at the ceiling. He gave up on complaining. It wasn’t getting anywhere and he didn’t want to annoy Bev too much with how unhappy he is about the situation.

“---ove spaghetti.”

Eddie blinked and looked at Richie. Well, Richie’s hair. “Spaghetti?” He repeated, confused.

Richie nodded. “Yeah, I love Spaghetti.”

The shorter boy snorted and half-heartedly rolled his eyes. “I know you like spaghetti, Richie, you brought it as your lunch for a solid week last month,” he said. “But I’m not making you any, if that’s what you’re getting at. It’s ten thirty at night.” Eddie added the last bit after glancing at the digital clock by Richie’s bed, and he heard Bev make a sound at the back of her throat, agreeing with Eddie.

“No. That’s not-,” he stopped himself and let out a sigh. Eddie tensed and hunched his shoulders, the breath of air causing chill bumps to form all over his body. “My Spaghetti, dumbass. My Eddie Spaghetti. Eds Spagheds. Spaghetti Man. I love you.”

Eddie blinked. He looked to the ceiling, then to Beverly who had sat up from her position in Richie’s bean bag. Her blue eyes were stuck on the two. Then finally, Eddie looked down at Richie again. He let out a little laugh. “Dude, you’re such a sap when high!” Eddie exclaimed in amusement. “First Bev, now me, who’s next? Stan? You gonna call him, or what?” He giggled some more at the thought of Richie calling Stan up so late just to say ‘I love you’.

Richie scoffed and shifted his weight. “I dunno. No,” he mumbled. “I really do love you, Eds.”

Eddie rolled his eyes but a smile tugged on his lips, ignoring the feeling of his face becoming just the slightest bit warm. He then laid back; his arms were getting tired from holding both his weight and Richie’s, and seeing as he wasn’t going to get any studying done, he let Richie full on cuddle him. “Whatever, Tozier,” he whispered.

They ended up falling asleep like that: cuddled into one another with Eddie’s study papers strewn around them, and Bev had fallen asleep in the bean bag. When Richie woke up the following morning, he was extremely yet pleasantly surprised to find Eddie fast asleep on his chest, their legs tangled together. Richie slipped his glasses on after grabbing them from their spot beside his head, and wrapped his arms tighter around Eddie, soaking in the blissful moment the best he could.

iii.

Richie Tozier believed he truly fucked up. And it wasn’t the type of fuck up that he could easily fix with a joke or a Voice, or anything of the sort. In a high daze he had confessed to Eddie Kaspbrak that he loved him, and it wasn’t masked as a joke. He didn’t mean to - well, he did but he didn’t - and he has learned he has even less of a filter when high, and that’s saying something considering he barely has one when sober. After that blissful morning, the dawning realization of it all hit him full force later that afternoon when he was home alone trying to get the smell of weed out of his room. 

Fifteen year old Richie Tozier had called Beverly, insisted she come back over, and he spilled the beans the moment she stepped into his house with a puzzled look. It had taken over two hours for Bev to calm the boy down. She insisted Eddie most likely brushed it off as nothing more than Richie being Richie, and insisted that even she took it that way considering he had continuously told her, “I love you,” as they cuddled minutes before then. It calmed him down, somewhat. But that paranoia of Eddie knowing when Richie doesn’t want him to know just yet was still there. Even after exams were over and they were spending Christmas break together, it was still there.

So, he did what any logical fifteen year old would do at the time.

He just stopped saying those words. To Eddie. No one else. If anything, he probably amplified the mention of those three little words to his best friends, excluding the literal love of his life. Other than those times Richie would say, “I love you guys,” he never said them to Eddie specifically. And it stayed that way for a while. A year and a half, specifically.

During that time, Mike had actually questioned him, a bit taken back by the amount of times the Tozier boy had shouted those words at him within a week. Richie had easily explained that he just had a lot of love in his heart at the time. And he said the same thing when Stan confronted him. When Ben asked, Richie had simply asked in reply, “Can I not tell my best friends I love them?” Bill gave him odd looks once in a while but never said anything, chalking it up to be Richie just being his odd self. And Beverly never asked or confronted him because she knew why.

At some point, he made a game: whenever he felt the urge to just blurt, “I love you,” to his best friend, he would instead just tell one of the other Losers, or stated that he loved the tree they were passing or a candle he saw in a window of a store.

“That’s a nice ice cream parlor, I love it there.”

“We know, Richie, we’ve been there a thousand times.”

“I love that cake your mom made the other day, Stan!”

“I’ll tell her you said that.”

“Love your new hair cut, Bev!”

“I got it cut a month ago?”

“Still looks good! Ain’t I right, Ben? C’mon, agree with me!”

Those days turned into months, and those months turned into a year, and then a few more months went by and then it was a year and a half since that grand idea of his came to be, and Richie truly believed everything was going well. Those words hadn’t slipped from his mouth for a good bit of time, and he was honestly proud of himself.

Until a furious Eddie barged into his room one afternoon after school.

“You lanky piece of fucking shit!”

Richie shrieked when the door flung open, and fell off of his bed into a heap on the floor with a blanket, a text book, some papers and his walkman. He scrambled to stand up, only to trip a few times over the blanket tangled at his ankles, and the wire of his walkman got tangled around his neck and arms. He struggled to get out of both, tossing them to side the harshly once he freed himself. He straightened himself posture wise but his wild and messy hair stayed the same, as did his crooked glasses. A smile formed on his blushing face as he looked at Eddie.

“Eddie, my man! What a nice surprise-.”

“I fucking hate you,” Eddie seethed as he stepped farther into the room, marching over to Richie. The smile Richie wore fell instantly. “You are such a dickhead, did you know that?”

Richie held his hands up as Eddie poked his chest. “Whoa, hey, what’s- huh?” He was thoroughly confused, to say the least. And, a little bit scared. Eddie may be shorter than most guys their age, but he packed a good punch and was the feistiest out of all the Losers. Richie used to just laugh when Eddie got mad, claiming such a short boy could never be intimating. Now, years later, Eddie was taller and more well built though he still looked awkward being a teen and all, but he had more a bit more muscle than when he was six and a better choice of fowl words as well. Richie had no choice but to admit Eddie could be intimidating.

Eddie scoffed harshly. “Oh, come on, don’t act like you don’t know what the fuck I’m getting on about!” He yelled. 

“No, I don’t!” Richie yelled back. Both of his parents were home, but he didn’t care and it seemed as if Eddie didn’t either. The teen only hoped neither came up to check on all the yelling, and he was honestly surprised they didn’t with Eddie furiously stomping in.

“Jesus, Rich, I know you do! I also know you don’t wanna be my friend anymore! You hate me.”

“The fuck I do. Who fucking said that?”

“No one, but they don’t have to say anything!”

“What’s that supposed to mean!?”

“You don’t tell me you love me! You’re always saying it to the others in some way or another, and it wasn’t until I was studying with Ben and Stan when I realized. They took a break and talked about how you’re always saying ‘I love you’ to them, and then I’m sitting there feeling like completely fucking shit because you stopped saying that to me! You used to say it all the time when we were kids, and after...that summer, you said it less, but I didn’t think anything of it, but now you’ve completely stopped! You could’ve just said you don’t wanna be friends anymore with me rather than just drifting away. We don’t even fucking hang out one on one anymore!”

Oh, shit. Richie’s fucked up. His eyes widened behind his glasses and he lowered his hands. “Eds, that- that’s not...” He trailed off, unable to find any words that would make the situation better. He felt his gut churn with guilt as he noticed that Eddie was crying. The tears started to fall mid-way through his rant and he hadn’t made an effort to calm down and stop them.

Eddie sniffled and wiped the tears on his cheeks away. “Look-.”

Richie bent down and wrapped his arms tightly around Eddie’s waist, and picked him up. “I’m sorry.”

“What the fuck, Rich, get off!”

“No!” Richie squeezed his eyes shut and held onto Eddie tighter, the shorter boy doing his best to get out of Richie’s grasp. “No, Eddie, okay, I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry. I’m a dumbass, I wasn’t thinking straight at all, you have every right to hate me but I could never hate you. Okay?”

Eddie stopped fighting. “...What?”

Richie continued, “I just thought you got tired of it, y’know? Annoyed and all. You never really said it back when I did say it to you, so I thought you didn’t want to hear it, so I stopped. You’re my best friend and I’m sorry for hurting your feelings, I didn’t meaning to, I just wasn’t using my brain. I do love you, please believe me.”

Silence fell over them. No one spoke for the next few minutes, and at some point Richie set Eddie back down and let go, taking a step back to give him space. He picked at his nails as he waited for Eddie to say something, avoiding eye contact.

Eddie sucked in a breath of air and let it out. “You’re a dick.”

Richie nodded. “Yeah.”

“But I don’t hate you, either. I mean, I probably should, but...” He trailed off and shrugged.

Richie looked up with a wide smile. “Really?”

“Yes, really, I don’t think I could hate you even if I tried,” Eddie admitted, a smile of his own forming.

Richie went to say something, but a knock on the door frame kept him from doing so. The two teens looked over to see Maggie Tozier standing there. The woman looked the slightest bit concerned as she stared back at them. “Everything okay in here?”

Eddie nodded, cheeks a bit pink, as Richie answered, “Yeah, just some mixed signals, Mags.”

Maggie gave her son a look.

Richie sighed. “Sorry, sorry. Mom.” He smiled, and so did she.

“Your father’s making spaghetti, by the way,” she told him. “It’ll be ready in ten minutes. Eddie, you’re free to join -- always will be.”

Eddie shook his head. “No, it’s fine-.”

“What? No, you’re staying,” Richie protested. “My Eddie Spaghetti eating spaghetti! It’s oddly poetic.”

Eddie made a face. “It’s weird.”

“So, you’re staying?”

“...Yes.”

“Yay!”

iv.

"You’re learning...Russian?” Mike asked hesitantly.

Richie nodded, holding the Russian dictionary like it was his pride and joy. “Yep! Latin’s too hard, Spanish is too basic, French is too...uh, French, and I couldn’t think of anything else, so Russian it is, Mikey! Care to join me?”

“Uh... Not this time, no.”

Richie beamed. “Perfect.”

Mike snorted out a laugh as he started to walk away. “You’re a weird one, Rich.”

“You love me, though!”

“Debatable!”

They laughed, and Richie reopened the book he had closed, going back to studying how to say ‘I love you’ in Russian. Of course, he was going to teach himself a few other things, but that was the main goal. The reason he chose Russian and none of the others was because it’s the least likely one where Eddie might too easily piece everything together. French would be the logical route to go considering that’s an elective he’s currently taking at school, but so is Eddie, so that completely rules it out. Then the others are taking Spanish. So, if he wanted everything to not come to light so suddenly, he had to go with something no one else knew, either.

“Hey, I can help you with that if you want. It’s hard.”

Richie’s stomach dropped. But he forced a smile as he looked up. Stan stood there, the sun shining behind him as if he were an angel. Right then, Richie thought he was the devil. “Stan the Man! Why aren’t you with Mike and Ben over there?” Richie asked. He pointed over to the large rocks the other two boys were on as they looked at a bird book Stan had brought along with him. For a split second, Richie glanced over to where Beverly, Bill, and Eddie were as they sat under a tree for shade, and then quickly looked back up to Stan, forcing another smile.

“Offering my help for once in your lame life,” Stan answered. “Really, it’s not that easy to learn. The Russians have a completely different alphabet than us.”

“No, thanks, I got it.”

“Richard.”

“Stanley.”

“Stop being difficult.”

“Do you even know me? I’m difficult every minute of every hour of every day of every month of every year!”

An unpleased look came over Stan’s face and before Richie knew it, Stan was forcibly hoisting the dark haired boy to his feet. “Rich and I are going for sno-cones! Give us your money if you want one!” He kept a firm grip on Richie’s elbow and turned to face him as their friends fished for money. “We’re talking. No funny business, got it?”

Richie nodded quickly. His heart was hammering in his chest from nerves, and he could feel his hands start to sweat -- and it wasn’t from the Spring heat. Stan must have noticed something, because his look softened and his grip loosened.

“It’s nothing bad, Rich,” he assured in a whisper as the other five started hurrying to them. “I promise.”

Richie could only nod again as he swallowed a lump in his throat. Then, they were grabbing money from their friends, and soon enough walking away from the barrens and to Richie’s new but beat down truck parked at the road. Stan took the money and stuffed it in one of his pockets, and then took the book from Richie as they got in the truck. His hands were shaking and he felt as if he was about to puke or pass out. Stan and him...they were close, almost as close as brothers, and if Richie had to make a list of his favorite people, the Jew would be directly under Eddie, maybe tied with Beverly.

Stan was someone Richie could have serious conversations with when he was tired of being the annoying and funny guy. For years, it’s been like this. Despite how often Stan says, “I hate you, Richie,” it wasn’t true in the slightest, and sure he got annoyed more often than not, but they were still as thick as thieves. Which was why Richie was a jittery mess. Stan didn’t have to say a word. Richie knew Stan knew; he didn’t know how, but he did, and that terrified the dark haired boy to no end. Because out of all the things that could make Stan hate Richie for real, it’s the fact he likes boys.

“Rich, pull over, you’re already going twenty over the speed limit, and I don’t want you to crash while we talk,” Stan said.

Richie nodded for a third time. “Y-Yeah. Um, g-good idea, Stan.”

Stan smirked. “Leave the stuttering to Bill.”

Richie cracked a smile but it went away as fast as it came, and then put the truck in park. He didn’t move, though. He stayed facing forward and his hands gripped the wheel tightly. “How long have you known?” Richie asked.

“That you love Eddie? I dunno... A while,” Stan admitted. “I don’t think the others know-.”

“Bev does.”

“Okay. I don’t think the boys know,” Stan corrected. “I’m just observant. Plus, we’ve grown up together, Richie. If I had to pick a specific moment, it would be sometime in sophomore year. We all went to the arcade one weekend. Eddie got absolutely pissed at one of the employees and screamed at him. We almost got kicked out! But the entire time you looked...fond. Proud, even. We almost got kicked out of your favorite place in the world but you didn’t care because it was Eddie. That’s love. You would’ve reacted differently it had been anyone else.”

Richie half-smiled. He remembered that day. “So... You don’t hate me? Find me disgusting?” Slowly, he looked to his friend.

Stan rolled his eyes, but he was smiling. “I find you disgusting because you’ve worn that shirt for the third day in a row. Not because you like boys.”

Relief flooded through Richie.

Then, “How long have you loved him, anyway?”

“Since we were twelve.”

“We’re seventeen.”

“Yup.”

“That’s five years!”

“Yep.”

“Holy shit.”

Richie sucked in a deep breath and then let it out. “Yeah...” He paused. “I thought it was nothing, honestly, at first. Then we almost died, and then the feeling never went away and...here we are. I want to tell him, but not now, but I can’t hold it in much longer either, so that’s where the Russian comes in.”

Stan nodded, motioned for Richie to start driving again, and thought for a moment. “Lucky for you that’s the one phrase I do know in Russian.”

A grin formed on Richie’s lips as he drove. “Perfect.”

He didn’t learn the phrase within one day like he wanted. Stan decided to make Richie learn the entire alphabet for the Russian language first, a few basic words, and then he would teach Richie the phrase. It took a few days to do the first part, and then another couple for the next. By the time the next weekend rolled around, Richie had the entire alphabet memorized and could say hello, bye, fuck, and I love you in Russian all thanks to Stan. Richie didn’t have the guts to say it that weekend, but waited until Monday when he had to drive Eddie to school that morning.

“Hey, Eds?” Richie spoke halfway through the drive.

Half-asleep Eddie hummed. “Yeah, Rich?”

“Я люблю тебя.”

Silence. Then, “I have no idea what the fuck you just said,” Eddie paused as he yawned. “But that’s pretty cool, Rich. Ya lebyuh te-blah blah to you too.”

“You totally just butchered that.”

“Fuck off.”

v.

The Losers Club were officially high school graduates. Mike actually graduated earlier than everyone since he was homeschooled, but now that didn’t matter. The summer of freedom started out fine, perfect even. They had more fun than any of them could imagine, and none of them wanted it to end. Unfortunately, college was a thing for most everyone involved, and soon the Losers would be leaving Derry to tackle their adult lives. Soon -- meaning one more night. The summer flew by faster than any of them believed. It was as if one moment they were taking a picture with their caps and gowns on, and the next they were about to leave their small town and best friends. 

It was why they were getting together one last time the night before they left. Drinks were involved. The sucky radio Ben always had to fix was playing some song. The stars were out. The only thing lighting up the barrens were a few flashlights they laid out around them. Richie sat on a rock by the shallow lake, back facing it as his eyes were glued to Eddie. A beer was held in one hand and the other had a half burnt cigarette. It had gone out a while ago, Richie too stuck in place to relight it.

Eddie had a cup of something alcoholic in his hand, his fourth one of the night, and he was shout-singing along to the song that was playing with Ben and Mike, dancing too. He was happy and carefree and glowing under the lights of the flashlights and stars, and with each passing moment Richie could feel his heart just swell with love as he watched the other boy. Richie took another swig of the beer and smiled as Eddie and Ben clung to one another as they dramatically sang the next lyrics, putting Mike into a laughing fit.

“You gotta tell him,” Bev said as she walked up. She sat beside Richie and took the cigarette, relighting it. After, she offered it back but Richie declined. “Rich, sweetie... You have to.”

Richie motioned towards Eddie, still smiling albeit it was a sad one now, and turned to face Beverly. “Look at him,” he said, and she did. “He’s having the best time of his life over there! I can’t ruin that.”

Bev gave him a sad look. “You won’t.”

He shook his head. “No. It’s been fine the way it is-.”

“He kissed a girl as a dare four months ago, and you sobbed in your pillow for the rest of the weekend.”

“I was being overly dramatic. You know how I am! Besides, I still got his mom, don’t I?” It was a lame attempt at a joke. A failed one, too. Because Bev neither laughed or reprimanded him. He sighed and took the last gulp of beer. 

“You have to tell him,” she repeated. “We’re going to be busy because of college, and we’re not exactly going to the same one.”

Richie pursed his lips. He could feel a lump forming in his throat. “We made plans to meet up every weekend if we can. Our universities aren’t too far away.”

“Rich-.”

“Bev,” he interrupted her, pleading, “Just stop. Okay? I’ll tell him when I want to.”

She looked at her best friend, studied him. Then, she nodded solemnly. “Alright,” she whispered.

The next few minutes were spent with the two sitting on the rock as Beverly finished the cigarette. Neither spoke after that and it wasn’t until Bill ran up to drag them tot he others when they left their spot. Richie grabbed another beer after throwing the empty bottle into the trash bag Stan brought for, well, trash. Richie made a few jokes of putting himself in it considering they call him Trashmouth, and Mike at picked him up and acted as if he was going to do just that.

“Put that fucker where he belongs!” Eddie shouted, grinning.

“At least put him in recycling,” Ben said.

“He doesn’t deserve to be recycled,” Stan teased.

All the while, Richie was laughing in Mike’s arms, a few drops of his beer getting on the both of them. Mike eventually set him down and put an arm around Richie’s shoulders. “Nah, I’d never throw out the Trashmouth,” Mike said. He smirked and backed away, feigning a look of disgust as he waved a hand around. “Only because you stink too much!”

Richie gave a sarcastic laugh. “I’m not the one who works on a farm!”

“Oh, he’s g-g-got you there,” Bill laughed.

“Which makes it worse,” Bev joined in.

“Trash the Trashmouth, okay, ha ha, very funny!”

“You started it, Rich,” Eddie reminded him with a slight slur as he walked up to him.

Richie rolled his eyes with a smile. “Yeah, I know.” Subconsciously he put an arm on Eddie’s shoulders, and then he looked down at him, a bit surprised to already find Eddie’s eyes on him. Richie’s eyes lowered to the shirt Eddie was wearing and lifted a brow, smiling knowingly, trying not to react to the arm resting against his back and the hand messing with his own shirt. “Love your shirt, Eds.”

“Of course you do. You gave it to me a few years ago, I’m actually surprised in genuinely fits me well.”

“A little oversized but you’re still cute, cute, cute!” Richie snaked his arm further around Eddie’s shoulders and neck, and pinched the other’s cheek. “But, may I remind you, I never gave it to you. You stole it.”

“...No, I don’t think I did.”

“You did.”

“Nope.”

“I literally watched you take it from my closet.”

“It was a dream.”

Richie scoffed. He gave in, “Alright, fine.”

Eddie grinned, proud of himself.

The next few moments they just stood there. Beverly’s words flooded Richie’s mind as he looked down at Eddie. For a solid minute, he had an inward battle with himself about what to do, but as Eddie laughed at something Stan said to Ben, the winner of that inner battle was clear. 

Richie tightened his grip around Eddie’s shoulders for a split second to get his attention. “Hey. Eds, can I tell you something?” Now or never, Tozier, he told himself, you can do it. You gotta. This has been six years in the making so just fucking do it.

“You know you can, Rich. C’mon, tell me.”

Now or never, you piece of shit.

“We’re going to be busy because of college.”

Я люблю тебя.

Muffled confession under water.

“I don’t think I could hate you even if I tried.”

“Eddie, I-.”

“Guys!” Mike shouted in excitement and turned up the volume. “Listen!” A familiar tune met Richie’s ears. It was the song all of them loved to jam out to, one they vowed to never not dance along to no matter where they were. Eddie was quick to leave Richie’s side to join the others, not hearing the last part of what Richie had to say.

“-love you.” Shit.

+ i.

Richie could cry- no. No, he was crying. Tears steadily streamed down his face, mixing with the dirt and mud and blood from the final fight with It. They should be celebrating. They should be happy. They should be basking in the glory of finally having that piece of shit defeated after 27 years. But that wasn’t the case. Eddie got stabbed and it didn’t look good at all. Richie rid himself of his jacket and pressed it against the wound. Eddie’s eyes were shutting, head lulling.

“No, no nonono,” Richie muttered through some tears. He patted Eddie’s face to stir him awake enough to open his eyes; a sound left Eddie’s throat and Richie didn’t know if that was a good or bad thing as Eddie shut his eyes again. “Not you. C’mon, please not you, I can’t lose you. You’re too important to me. Eds. Eds! Eddie, hey, stay awake for me, alright? I can’t lose you- I can’t- fuck, I love you so much, please, I’m so in love with you. Don’t die on me, please.”

“Richie,” Beverly spoke from her spot, equally as dirty as the rest of them. “Sweetie, I don’t think...” She trailed off, unable to finish her own sentence.

Ben moved forward quickly. He bent down and watched Eddie closely for a second. “He’s still breathing,” he whispered. Frantically, he started pulling off his belt.

“Guys, the house is falling apart!” Mike shouted at them.

“He’s still breathing!” Ben shouted back. 

He gently pushed Richie away to put the belt around Eddie, securing Richie’s jacket tightly over the wound. Mike was then walking over, and so was Bill. The sounds of the house falling down filled their ears as they picked Eddie up. Richie had his shoulders, Ben stayed by his abdomen to make sure the belt stayed, and Mike had his feet. Bill made sure they didn’t need any help before looking to their redheaded woman.

“Bev, go ahead and go! Make sure Stan knows we’re coming back and tell him about Eddie!” Bill yelled.

Beverly nodded and ran off, and Bill led the rest of them through everything. It was hard and more than a few times did they think they were about to be crushed by everything, but they made it out just in time. They didn’t stop there. They carried Eddie to Richie’s very new truck and set him in the bed of it, Stan in the driver’s seat, the engine already running. Beverly was in the passenger’s seat, and Bill and Ben got in the back while Richie and Mike stayed with Eddie. To everyone’s surprise, Stan sped down the Derry roads as fast as he could but also as safely as he could. 

“Rich...” Eddie croaked out.

Richie bent down further and smiled through the tears, hand clutching Eddie’s. He did his best to ignore much he looked like death. “We’re getting you to a hospital,” he said. “Hang on, okay?”

“I gotta...’ell y’somethin’.”

He shook his head stubbornly. “You keep those fucking words in you mouth, Eddie. Tell me when you aren’t bleeding from a stab wound.”

“He’s losing a lot of blood, man,” Mike whispered, as if trying to say something.

Richie looked at Mike, glaring, and blinked back more tears that wanted to fall.

“Rich, I...” Eddie trailed off. Then, the grip on Richie’s hand weakened and Eddie’s eyes shut completely as his head lulled to the side for a second time.

“No. Shit. Fuck, Stan!”

“His pulse is weak-.”

“Mike, I love you, but shut the fuck!”

Mike, instead of arguing, nodded and hit the back window of the truck. Bill opened it. “Hurry up!”

“I’m already speeding!” Stan shouted from the inside.

“Speed faster!” Bev yelled. He did.

“Two more miles!” Ben told them.

“I just called, there’ll be someone waiting for us,” Bill said.

One minute later, Richie’s truck was zooming into the parking lot of the hospital and coming to a surprisingly steady halt by the entrance to the emergency room. Doctors and paramedics came rushing out instantly, taking Eddie away, the losers following them inside as far as they would let them. Richie stood at the double doors and stared through the window. He sucked in a deep breath. Then, he found the nearest trashcan and puked.

It seemed as if the next couple of hours went by slowly on purpose, taunting Richie and the others. During those hours, Richie scrubbed Eddie’s blood off of hands while sobbing in the men’s bathroom, and when he came back out to the waiting room he got tackled in a group hug which just caused him to cry some more. Stan shed a few tears and Ben wiped away a few that slipped out. Mike and Bill were refusing to cry just yet, while Beverly started to but stopped, telling herself and the boys that Eddie was still alive. The amount of tears increased when the doctor came in and told them that Eddie miraculously made it, but he wasn’t awake just yet.

They visited Eddie as much as they could. Someone was always in the room at all times, waiting for their favorite fireball to wake up. Richie stayed there the most. He only left to clean up and change clothes. He didn’t want Eddie out of his sight too much, not after what happened.

It was the morning of the second day when Eddie finally woke up.

“Wake up, fuckface,” Eddie said at noticing Richie, the man sleeping in a chair beside the bed, head using Eddie’s legs as a pillow.

Richie sat up almost instantly. His eyes were wide with joy at first until he realized he had no glasses on, and suddenly he was squinting to see Eddie better. He fumbled around for his glasses and slipped them on once he found them, and his smile grew ten times at seeing the other man clearly. “Eddie!” He exclaimed happily, and koala-ed him the best he could without causing any more harm or pain. He was laughing, then he was crying. “Shit, I thought I’d lost you.”

Eddie placed a comforting hand in Richie’s hair, and he closed his eyes as he rested his cheek on Richie’s head. “I know,” he whispered. “I’m okay now, though... Hey, Rich?”

“Hm?”

“Я люблю тебя.”

Richie froze. He slowly moved away and sat back in the chair, staring at Eddie with pure shock. “What did you say?”

Eddie smiled. “I think you know.”

Richie blinked. He was stunned. He ran a hand through his hair and slumped back. “I thought you didn’t know what that meant?”

“I didn’t. But, uh, that’s the first thing I remembered when I got back here. I asked Siri what it meant.”

With lowered brows, Richie’s jaw dropped. “Siri told you that I loved you before I fucking got to properly? What the fuck!?”

Eddie busted out laughing, holding his side with the stitches. “Oh- fuck, this priceless!”

“I’m killing Siri.”

“Aw, no, babe! Don’t, she helps me with driving,” Eddie said, nearly pouting.

Richie snorted, almost completely missing the term of endearment. “I’ve been in love you since we were fucking twelve, and a piece of shit technology tells you before I get the chance. Unbelievable!”

“I mean... You could tell me now.”

“Tell you what- oh. Oh.” He scooted closer to the bed and leaned forward. For a moment, he thought about making a joke about his mother, but decided against it, even though it would have been hilarious. He smiled, taking one of Eddie’s hands. Nerves coursed through him, but he fought against them. He wasn’t a terrified teenager anymore. “Eddie -- my Eds Spagheds -- I love you. I always have, and I always will.”

Eddie beamed at him. “I love you, too.”

If Richie’s grin could grow anymore, it would. And maybe it did.

Because in front of him was the love of his life alive, saying he loved him back.

Richie then leaned all the way forward and kissed Eddie, and Eddie kissed back. Bill barged in then, ready to announce that breakfast had arrived, but stopped himself at seeing Richie and Eddie. He froze, stared, and then backed up, smiling slowly as he shut the door. He turned to the other losers, who looked confused. 

“Well,” Bill said. “It took a little over two fucking decades but they’re finally together.”

[journal-of-an-outlaw]

The Price to be Paid

Hey gang! 

This is my very first Tumblr fanfiction. I used to write waaaay back but it’s been awhile. Just finished my first playthrough of Red Dead Redemption 2 and of course needed to write something about my story with it. 

Feel free to message me with feedback or thoughts, like I said it’s been a few years so I’ll post this to Ao3 after awhile. Please like and reblog only, no reposting. 

Chapter 1 

“See that one? Easy. Go nick his watch.”

You laughed and smiled over your shoulder at Abigail as you walked over towards the cart that had stopped from one of the nearby farms selling apples in the middle of town, red and bursting to be eaten. A man who was picking out which ones looked best out of the pile didn’t seem flustered by your sudden appearance which was good. It made the next part easier. 

“Oof! Excuse me sir, I didn’t see you there. Are you okay? Oh, let me help wipe that off your shirt.” 

Coffee bled a dark brown down the man’s white shirt as he hastily moved to grab something to stop the spread, and you were ready with your handkerchief. While he snatched it out of your hands, you removed his pocket watch without him knowing, the pressure of your hands on his torso masking the motion. The cold coffee had been sitting on the edge of the cart as if someone had forgotten it in their haste to leave for the center of town. He huffed and hawed and made a bigger fuss than you could have hoped for, but the nearby prying eyes only saw a silly girl who managed to spill coffee onto the boy buying apples. 

You smiled one last time at him and batted your eyes then flounced down the street and around the alley to meet Abigail. She laughed and grabbed your shoulder while you showed her the watch; no engraving or photo slipped inside which made you relax at the fact it wasn’t overly sentimental. 

“Now see, this here is exactly what you can pawn off. A good 8 dollars for this, plus whatever else you can grab adds up fast. Then maybe...a way out?” her eyes were kind as her mouth twisted into a coy smile. 

You smiled back at Abigail. The past few months while she and her gang were in town you had grown close. She hadn’t divulged too much about the people she ran with and that you could understand. The world was dangerous and full of opportunities and you couldn’t judge her for the choices she had made to keep her and those she cared about safe. You had never really left the town you were raised in and your family was your ‘gang’, but their secrets would never haunt others that you choose to surround yourself with. You knew she had a man, maybe not a husband but someone she loved. And a son that she loved more than anything in the world. Although she’s never told you outright about him, you’ve seen her buy (or steal) little trinkets and toys that no grown man would want. That’s when Abigail taught you the same tricks. How to divert the attention of shop owners so your hands could dart into your pockets with stolen food, or how to nab items to pawn to build up your own funds when you bump into folks and cause a scene. You had been eyeing the mountains outside of town a lot more lately, and thinking how great of an escape you could make. 

“Where would I even pawn these? Do I walk in with everything at once?” you asked her. She contemplated for a moment. “You don’t want to walk in with arm loads of stolen things, but a few here and there should be okay...maybe clerks will let you trade them for goods! Like for food or clothes and such. There’s a good pawn shop in Rhodes, but that’s a long ways from here in Blackwater.”

Your hometown, or at least the place you had been raised in, was hot, dry, and desert like most of the year. The people were kind and you liked being situated by the river. On particularly hot nights you would sneak out and sit by the slow and lazy moving water, imagining it was carrying you someplace new and far away, where no one would know you and you could start over. But you knew that idea was just that and there was no escaping. Small fantasies were all you had. Some nights you yearned for your life that began in Boston, but Blackwater was the only home you had ever known.

Abigail brought you back to the present with her hand on your arm. “Y/N, I might have to leave soon. I don’t want to but there are things I can’t change that are set in motion by the people I’m with. You’re...well I guess my friend and I wanted to let you know.” You laughed at her hesitation to call you a friend. Knowing her it isn’t an insult. If anything, she means it as a way to say she doesn’t get close to many people and has somehow chosen you. 

“Abigail I appreciate you telling me, but I’ll see you again! I am not worried.” Sometimes your blind optimism got the better of you. Damn those novels that you got lost in. Few things brought you pleasure like the chapters of a book. 

The two of you clasped hands and parted for the day as the sun set behind you. Slowly but surely you were building a collection of items that had been lifted off the residents of Blackwater and were going towards your future pawn trips. As much as you loved the town and its dusty, dirty humbleness there was a darkness that lived there. 

You neared your house and felt your heart drop to your stomach as the parlor light flickered on meaning your mother was not home, but your father was. Dad had a mean drinking problem, and as the man in charge of  some government organization had power which mixed terribly with his vanity. He wanted everyone to know that he and he alone was in charge. 

Climbing up the steps quietly you hoped to sneak by. That damn fourth step gave you away, and you silently swore as your father barked for you to come back down. 

“Y/N! Get down here. How dare you walk by and not say hello to your father?” You mumble an apology and kissed him on the cheek, the smugness in him as strong as the whiskey on his breath. As you turned to head to the kitchen for dinner he grabbed your elbow hard enough to make you wince. “Were you in town today,” he asked, but it was more of a statement than a question. He must have seen you, or heard about Abigail somehow. “Y-yes father, I spent the day in town. At the market, there was a wagon from a nearby farm…” you drifted off and tried to walk to the other room. Your father stood abruptly, but was distracted by your mother opening the kitchen door. She was a force of pure good and the only thing that could tame your father’s wild ways. Her face beamed and invited you both for dinner. 

“How was town today, Y/N? The apples look delicious.” You mother winked at you and motioned to the three red apples sitting on the counter waiting to be baked into a pie for dessert. While in town you didn’t even notice her so she must have moved quietly. The roast chicken and potatoes were delicious and you couldn't eat fast enough. After dinner, your father went out to the back porch to smoke while your mother sat and played cards with you. 

“Mother, why don’t we just leave?” you whispered. This was a conversation you had had many times in the past. “If we packed and left at midnight he couldn’t track us. We could go to the mountains, move west or even north again! A new city with no one following us and we could make a new life. Work in an art gallery or a farm or...just some place nice and safe. Where no one could hurt us.” The darting of your eyes was not missed by your mother who had never known about your father and how his rage manifested late at night. He always did have a knack for hitting you in places that no one else would ever see.  

Her hand was soft as it wrapped around your own. You knew this fantasy would never happen but you always hoped someday she would finally agree. 

“My dear, we musnt run away from those things that we fear. Fear only increases when we turn our backs to escape rather than face it head on.” 

********************************************************

The next day in town you met up with Abigail again. You knew the time was coming for her to leave from the way she clung to you a little tighter and laughed more forced and often. It made you sad to think that this bright light in your life lately would just be gone due to...whatever it was that would drag her away. Loyalty and family all meant something to you of course. But it was still upsetting to think that this exciting time would soon be over. 

“The last thing I’ll teach you as a thief is this. In order to pull off a good heist, you have to believe. With everything you have. A poor orphan left to die on the side of the road? Believe. Someone who just got robbed and needs a ride to town? Believe. Someone who isn’t being abused by a man somewhere in town? Believe.”

She stared you down hard during this last line. You flinched and moved to cover the bruise that had been exposed when you rolled your sleeves up from the heat. A soft expression met you when you looked up to her blue eyes. 

“I...It’s nothing I promise.”

“And that, hon, is exactly what I was talking about. You have to believe. Make it out of this town, safe. Please. If not for me, maybe just for you.” You watery eyes meet hers and you realized that it’s obvious to everyone but you that leaving may just be your last hope to being happy. The only issue you have is leaving your mother behind with the monster that hides behind the eyes of your father. His rage wasn’t always there. Mother said as a child you lived happily in Boston just the three of you. It was supposed to be four, and that’s where the trouble began. When your brother was lost a few days after his birth your father couldn't stand it. The whiskey was his crutch, and it soon became more of a constant burden. Every day it seemed he stumbled in from work already drowning in the vile stuff. Even the thought of its scent brought you gagging now. Your mother says that’s the reason you had to leave the northern city and move to the nowhere town of Blackwater and start all over again. That drink and the havoc it caused. 

While you had the time the two of you decided to celebrate. Sitting in the saloon you clinked your drinks and cheersed to seeing each other soon someday. Abigail loved hometown whiskey and your poison of choice was gin. Many drinks later and the two of you stumbled out to the main road, needing fresh air after leading the whole bar in a great rendition of a popular song. You swayed in the heat that met you outside of the doors. A huge commotion down by the water caused half the town out to come bursting out to the roads behind you. Galloping horses, screaming, and gunshots were all you could make out. Damn those drinks and whatever was in them! You couldn't see more than four feet in front of you, and everything beyond that was a big old blur. 

“Y/N! We need to move. Now!” Abigail somehow sobered up and was in charge of the whole situation. “Get behind that building and pretend you don’t know me-” but her words were cut short by a man grabbing her arm and yanking her down the road. 

“Abigail!! Hey! Let her go!” You chased, well, more like stumbled after, the pair and beat his arm with your fists. He released Abigail and grabbed your hands, shoving them down by your sides and forcing you to stare into his eyes. 

“Now what in the hell are you doing?” You stare dumbstruck into his face thinking that you might have landed yourself right into one of your novels. Beautiful blue eyes searched your drunken face and you couldn’t even speak. His eyebrows pulled together and crows feet showed around the edges of his eyes, years of the open sun and road changing the landscape of his face. Stringing coherent thoughts together was a struggle when Abigail shoved the man. “Arthur! Let her go she’s my...she’s my friend.”

Arthur raised his eyebrows, “Abigail I have to get you back to John-”

Three men raced around the street corner on horseback and shouted in your direction. “Those three! Stop them! They’re linked with them gangs from the riverboat!” 

You swung around to face Arthur and Abigail. “What have you done. Your gang! What did you do!” 

Arthur swore and grabbed you by your waist. “Abigail, get on that grey horse there. The bay is mine.” She nodded and took off down the road. You cursed and swung as hard as you could but it was no use, this man had you captive as he put you on the horse and followed Abigail. The lawmen were not too far behind and you heard the bullets they fired whisk by you and hit the buildings down the street. From the back of a horse you watched the faces of people you knew zip by faster and faster, and with them the memory of who you were confined to be quickly slipped away. What a strange turn of events in the past few months. Abigail had taught you how to pickpocket and thief your way hopefully to a new life, but instead of taking that route here one was riding you off on a horse. It scared you, but you couldn't look back. 

A sharp and terrible pain grabbed you suddenly as a bullet met your left side below your ribs. Screaming, you almost fell off the horse but managed to clutch onto Arthur’s shirt with weak fingers. He turned around at the noise and seemed upset as his face filled with worry when looking at the blood spilling onto your shirt. The pain proved too much and the last thing you remember was landing on a hill of grass with dust swirling all around as the sound of pounding hooves raging your ears from all directions.

[ragdollrory]

Just imagine mayhem

Trends were something Azula could certainly do without. Most of them at least, and particularly those that were for women.

Girdles and corsets were pointless if you asked her, as were the panniers court women seemed addicted to, desperate to widen their hips in their quest for stares. She’d never quite understood the point of that. Well, it wasn’t that she didn’t understand it. More like, why would you wrap, tie, and stuff yourself up, for others to gawk at you, when it was all false? She'd much rather be admired by her own shape, than the work of seamstress and sometimes even smiths.

Then there was wigs. Oh, wigs had been an endless fight between her and her mother. They were dirty, they itched, and why on earth would one want white hair in the first place? Wasn’t that old people’s hair? They were heavy, and impossible to wear, and Queen Ursa’s often had an actual living bird on it. It went without saying they were not made for something that wasn’t sitting down and looking pretty. Never for things such as training, swords and archery, boys’ stuff of course, but so much better than tea parties. 

Maybe it had been her rejection of everything that was court related from such an early age. Maybe it had simply been her mother hated her, and her father was too busy having a war by the week- always a new feud with a neighbouring kingdom. A new day, a new opportunity to invade something, Azula often teased. Or maybe it had been just the trend, but as soon as she hit her teenage years, she’d been locked in a tower.

Now, for a lot of people that might seem harsh, true. Lock your kid in a tower, who will feed her, how will she learn about the world, what happens if no prince ever comes to her rescue? Well, truth was, this was a trend Azula quite enjoyed.

Her tower was not such thing as just a tower, of course. Her father might’ve been bloodthirsty, but he loved her, and he made sure she was comfortable. At the very bottom of it, Azula had a lovely bath; a wide pool of crystal clear water, soaps and scents, and so big she could even do some laps if she felt like it. She often did. 

One floor up, there was a training room, that she used frequently, and then another floor held a vast library. She had a tea parlor on another floor, but that one remained mostly untouched, and finally her room at the very top of it all. 

It was grandiose, opulent, with unnecessary drapings and stuffy furniture that adorned more than what they were useful for. Tall mirrors with gold trimmings, and so much silk she often wondered if there was an army of silkworms working just for her, or if her parents were conquering other lands to steal this ridiculous amount of fabrics. What was she even supposed to do with it? Lay on silk and pillows all day, running her fingers over their softness, letting herself be transported by the sensuousness of it all? She’d done it. It lost the charm quickly enough.

Every couple of days, a servant came with food, clean clothes and bedding. She was locked in a tower, sure. There were iron bars in her windows, true. But Azula was still a princess, and she was not going to play her parents’ ridiculous games of “who’s the most popular king in the realm” by starving or living in rags. Of course not.

And Agni if the trend wasn’t all over the place, people were insane about it, and every time a new snippet of information got to her, the roll of her eyes became more pronounced.

Out of all of her sisters, Azula’s friend Ty Lee had been locked in a tower. Her tendency to run away with the circus had made her candidate number one for it. But it had been her knack for escape what had gotten her out of her tower quickly enough. Rumour had it that she had let her hair grow so long, she’d tossed her braid out the window of the tower for a prince to climb up to her rescue. 

For crying out loud, if she kept rolling her eyes, one of these days Azula would see the back of her skull, she was sure of it.

If she had to guess- Ty Lee had tied up her very own useless heap of silk, secured it to the bars on her window, and slid through them with her amazing and quite disturbing contortionist’s abilities. Besides, she’d often thought Ty Lee didn’t care for Princes, rather the opposite perhaps.

Mai, lovely and quiet, perfect daughter Mai, had gotten herself in a tower as well. That one had really impressed Azula when she heard about it. The girl had always been perfect for court life, so demure and composed, and she had quite the striking features as well. Zuko clearly thought so. But apparently Lady Michi had had another baby; a boy that could inherit their house’s mantle, and Lord’s Ukano position in court, so of course Mai was a bother now.

Her story was most amusing, and so perfectly Mai, Azula had often found herself laughing about it at random moments of the day. A sleeping beauty. 

It wasn’t a lie, of course, Mai was beautiful, and it had probably been her cultivated and unnatural ability to sit still and quiet what had led her to it. The drama of it though. Trapped in a perennial dream for a hundred years, that could only be awoken by a noble Prince’s kiss of true love. Azula was sure in Zuko’s visits to Mai they did plenty of awakening, perennial dream Agni’s pants. Surely Lady Michi hadn’t seen that one coming, but her brother did have a dragon that could take him up the highest tower, of the highest whatever they wanted to put her friend in.

And that was the perfect cue for her own story, the Princess guarded by the dragon. It was a massive load of crap, and Azula was the one feeding it to people.

It was pretty simple really, she hated court life. She’d seen how her father was slowly losing his mind to power, and how her mother was either going to run away with one of her lovers, or get herself beheaded for it sooner or later. Or both. And Azula particularly hated the limitations court life brought for a girl. So it had been but a relief to be sent away from it all, and it was only because she was good at keeping appearances that she’d not smiled all the way to the tower, the day she’d been locked in at age fourteen. 

And really, she had everything she could want in the tower, and without the tight dresses, and complicated hairstyles, or the ridiculously useless long-toed shoes that she’d heard were the latest fashion nowadays. 

No, she was happy in her tower. Zuko visited often, aided by Druk, and she’d been in luck that various knights had seen the annoying beast circling her tower, to help the rumour spread. After that, it was only a matter of her own abilities and men’s easy to crush ego. After the first couple of Princes had been rejected by her, tossed out the tower by means of her own fire when they didn’t get the message to leave her alone, the story of the dragon had come to be.

Did she mind that men thought of her as a fire-breathing monster? No. Did she mind that every year less and less Princes, knights and noblemen tried to rescue her? Not at all. This- this was perfect, because it meant peace.

That was until what she was sure was an earthquake shook the tower from the very foundations.

Azula jumped to her feet, almost killing herself when she slipped on some random scrap of silk forgotten on the floor, burning it at once out of annoyance. She hurried to toss on her regular training clothes, and for a split second she considered leaving the tower in case it truly fell on her, but soon enough the tremor stopped. And then the door to her room flew out of its hinges, rock, and dust filling the air around her.

“What on fucking earth!?” Decorum was very important for a princess, lesson number one ever since they learned to say momma and poppa. 

It was not its main purpose, but a wall of fire cleared the room quickly enough, her stance ready to put up a fight with whatever had caused the commotion. Azula blinked at the person on the other side of the whole in her wall. A girl. A short, barefooted girl, with a mess for hair, who she imagined was an earthbender, because otherwise nothing would ever make sense to her ever again.

“Now that doesn’t sound like a Princess.” The girl said with a chuckle, and now Azula was just gaping. What the-

“You do realize you just tore a wall down, right? My bedroom’s wall, of which I was very fond of by the way. How do you expect me to sound? Please, do enlighten me.” This was just ridiculous, Azula huffed, arms crossed over her chest.

“Oh, I don’t know- small and dainty. Like the air blowing through the petals of a single rose at the top of a hill, warmed by the sun and surrounded by the sweet smell of morning mist?” She shrugged, a massive grin slicing across her face.

“That has to be the grossest thing I’ve heard in my life, and I lived with my mother and the bird in her hair. Where would you even hear that?” This could still be a dream, Azula pondered. A very bizarre dream, aided by the salts in her bath, or the mushrooms her last dinner had.

“Dunno, my mother?” The girl moved, walking around her room, and there was something off with her, she could tell, but what? Azula watched her, from the way she stepped, and her rather boyish clothes, to how she was ignoring everything that any normal person would feel drawn to. Like the jewelry on her vanity, or the books piling up on the floor by her bed. 

No, she seemed not to care about anything in the room. Nothing but her. Azula saw the way the girl’s chin tilted to her side the whole time, as if she was hearing her? Could she be blind? How was she walking and not crashing into anything? Azula was sure she’d not moved a muscle, but as the idea formed, the girl turned to smirk at her, making her heart skip a beat.

“So... your mother has a bird in her hair?” The girl asked, the smirk only widening as Azula’s heart pounded louder in her chest. It was the shock, she told herself, just the shock. And maybe a smidge of curiosity, perhaps. “My mother knew a woman who liked that, some Queen Ursula or something. Are you her daughter, the girl with the dragon?”

“Ursa.” Azula frowned, more confused by the second, but the mention of her mother sobered her some from her initial surprise. She straightened herself, hands alert. “And yes, I’m afraid I’m related to her that way, why do you ask?”

“Curiosity. They say it killed the badgermole, you know?” The girl took a couple of steps forward, straight into the bed, but stopping just before she collided with it, running fingers on the silk sheets. Azula wanted to find her eyes, verify her suspicions, but the height difference and her bangs made it impossible to see.

“Curiosity killed the cat, actually, but I’m sure it could work on badgermoles as well, why not.” And she should probably keep her eyes rolling, it would save her time really. “Why do you ask? And what is your name too, and why did you think tearing down my bedroom wall was a good idea, if you’d be so kind?”

“Now that sounds closer to a princess, Princess.” The girl flicked her wrist, and a piece of wall flew past Azula’s head to her hand, where she toyed with it as she spoke. “I asked because I needed to know if this was the right tower, which it is, although there’s no dragon around.”

She shrugged, making her way around the bed, and closer to Azula, and even though caution told her to maybe step away, she just needed to see under the girl’s bangs. “The name’s Toph. Beifong if that’s something you need to know as well, and I tore down the wall to get you out of here, of course,” Toph said, as if it were the most obvious answer. “Okay then, let’s go.” 

Toph grabbed Azula’s wrist, and her instincts finally kicked in. 

“I’m not going anywhere.” Putting all her weight on a leg, she swept the girl off her feet with a swipe of the other, and managed to bring her down, face to the floor. Azula pressed a hand to her back, but not a second later her ankles were encased in stone, and she faltered in her grip.

“Well that was a stupid move on your behalf, wasn’t it?” Toph turned around between Azula’s legs, so that she was straddling her, blowing hair out of her face. Azula didn’t care, she was too busy learning that indeed the girl was blind. Her eyes were bleached, and didn’t land on hers, with just a shadow of green in them. Jade, her brain supplied. “What’s your next great plan, zappy?”

“Zappy, you sure you want to go with that?” She jabbed a finger to Toph’s chest, giving her legs a slight tug, but the rock wouldn’t give. “Let me go or I’ll show you zappy.”

“That was what I was trying to do, until you threw me to the ground, remember?” The hold on her ankles tightened just so.

“No, you were trying to get me out of the tower, and I have literally zero intentions of doing that, okay? So let go of my legs, and leave where you came from. I’ll tell you what, I don’t even care if you don’t fix the wall.” Her tone was a perfect mix of annoyance and condescension.

“You don’t want to leave?” Toph seemed actually surprised by it, and Azula figured it was weird enough, not wanting to leave a place where she was a prisoner. Except she wasn’t, not really, and she was quite content with the peace she’d managed to create for herself there. “Did I hit you in the head with a rock?”

“Stop that.” She swatted Toph’s hand away as she attempted to touch at Azula’s temple. “No, I don’t want to leave, okay? I’m perfectly happy here, and I’d appreciate it if you just let me be. I was about to take a nap when you decided this wreckage was needed.”

Toph blinked, genuine perplexity showing in her face, and after a second or two, the stone encasing Azula’s ankles was released. She sat back on the floor next to the girl, a warm huff pushed past her lips, while the earthbender just stayed there, her unseeing eyes fixed on the ceiling. A tapping sound filled the room, one of Toph’s fingers making a couple of pebbles jump on the floor.

“So you’re a willing prisoner.” Tap, tap, tap.

“Yes.” 

“Why?” Tap, tap, tap.

“I’d rather be here than at my home.” 

“What about the dragon?” Tap, tap, tap.

“It’s my brother’s. It’s hardly ever here, but if no Prince is able to rescue me, then I don’t have to marry, and I’ll be free forever.” 

“What if no Prince rescues you, and you are still free forever?” Tap, tap, tap.

A small whip of flames blasted the pebbles away, before she flung the girl off the tower altogether, while Azula considered her words.

“You’re offering, I’m guessing.” Azula was cautiously intrigued now, leaning back against the bed. “And how do I know you’re not interested in the crown or the money? That your parents didn’t send you here for that?”

The earthbender snorted, and then laughed; loud, messy, and bitter. It sat particularly off with Azula, and she almost regretted asking.

“Did you know my parents had a kid?” Actually, she didn’t, and Azula knew of her family. The Beifongs were important landowners under their regime, and her father had made sure both her and Zuko knew all about the people who’d sworn allegiance to their kingdom. “Exactly, Zappy. I ran away from home, and I think you should run away from here with me.”

Maybe it was the years she’d been in there alone, or how tired she was of rejecting idiot princes and lords. Or perhaps it was the fact that this girl right here was the most chaotic thing to ever come into her life, and Azula craved chaos. She’d had nothing but order in her life so far, and the possibilities presented to her by the broken wall of her bedroom were endless. But could she really do it?

“Come on, Zappy, you want it.” Toph pushed herself up on her elbows, a sly grin pulling at her lips. “I can tell you do.” Azula’s heart leaped curious with the prospect of something new. "Zappy." Toph gave her shin a kick. "Come on. A dragon and a badgermole on the loose, just imagine the mayhem."

"Fine." She finally agreed, standing up, voice sounding far more annoyed than she actually was. With a smirk of her own, Azula zapped the earthbender on the side, making her jump to her feet. "That nickname had better not stay, or I'm coming back here."

"Whatever you say, Zappy." The girl chuckled, and Azula couldn't help a smile.

[scout-fang]

Luar pt1

So where to start... Well I guess it's starts about who I am. I go by many names really: Luar, Moonlight, Blue Demon-... It varies but my real name is Lunaria Linden.

Most of you know this by now. But I like telling stories anyway do here goes.

My life wasn't like other Guardians, yeah there's the Man with the Golden Gun but he was only a kid when he became a guardian. He had a Ghost and all but not me. Not yet at least. I was born a lightbearer.

Didn't know till I zapped my father by accident when I was 5 or so. Surprised both my parents that day. I just thought it was cool that I had lighting powers. You're probably wondering how does one become born with the light. Easy really:

Two Guardians fall I love, they have a child and Bam! Baby Guardian.

My childhood was different though. Not what you'd expect. I lived with my parents in a remote place in old Canada. Forests everywhere and plenty to explore. You could say I was a Hunter from the start.

My mother's name was Adley Parks. She was a Stormcaller, Warlock. Top notch of I do say so myself. Taught me loads of stuff and I was surprised that I didn't sleep on it. My father was Riker Linden. I took more from him in the character department. He taught me more about the wilds than I ever imagined, even to the point to teach me self-defense against anything.

I was a happy child who cared deeply about her parents. Even their two Ghosts who played with me or kept me out of trouble.

That all sadly ended pretty quickly. I don't remember everything that happened that afternoon. The sun was going down and I was headed back home from the forest I knew so well. When I was about to open the door to our home I heard a loud bang from inside. Something today I know is was a loud gunshot. A few of them followed and I quickly back away from the door in fear.

I hated that sound, still do. Next thing I know was seeing my father getting launched out of the door with force. He was struggling to get up and was looking at something inside the house. I followed his gaze, finding a man in heavy armor. With the knowledge I already had I was certain it was another Guardian. A Titan even.

He walked outside and took a long look at me. I didn't move. I was too scared to anyway. Couldn't blame me. My father stood up and immediately went in front of me, shielding me basically. The last thing he told me was to run and to not look back.

I didn't argue. I knew better and so I did, hesitantly and didn't look back. A few moments later I hear the gunshots again. Guess luck was on my side that day after I got shot on my shoulder. I could tell it wasn't the man's intention since he didn't come back to check if I was alive, but I was.

I still remember the pain I felt in my shoulder, still bearing the scar of the shot till this day. I remember crying and holding my sobs as I dragged myself to my feet as far away as possible.

When I was sure I was safe I heard a familiar voice. Blaze, my father's Ghost rushed to me. Without hesitation he scanned me and started glowing. Weirdly so did I, but I didn't put to much attention to it as I watched him. Surprisingly he healed my wound which gave me a lot of questions. None where answered till later on in my life.

I just know that after that a figure appeared in front of me. I was still scared by all that had happened but the guy didn't move and only smiled at me. He was an Exo. He told me to follow him and that's what I did without hesitating. He told me stories as we went to who knows where. Some I could tell where fake but they where funny. Still are when I think back.

That's how I met Cayde-6.

That's how my life changed. For the better and the worse.

(@khaosgaming22 Write Blitz day 3)

[khaosgaming22]

Backstory Part 1- Recording

Alright i think im ready, Chase start recording, copy and paste when finished onto memory unit 14. Heh 14... oh right im live! Hi! So if you’re seeing this, im dead, in the ground, ripped apart, fed to a Hive god. Ugh I don’t want to go out like that! Anyway, before I start rambling, because I tend to do that, trust me that’s going to happen throughout this, im gone...or ive stepped to far into the shadow of quote unquote “the darkness” whatever that is.

In other words im a Dredgen, now if there are any greenhorns out there who don’t know what that is...ask Ikora. Im not a teacher, and... oh stop- okay fine. Since my ghost is looking at me like that ill explain. Ties into my story anyway...

*Ahem*, a Dredgen is basically a guardian who has turned to the darkness and is an enemy of the Vanguard...and i guess Shin Malphur.

Now that that’s out of the way, we can move on to my story and the reason ive become Dredgen if i have...

I think it begins with a name, Aleina. Love of my life before i started glowing and shooting high powered weapons everywhere. We were in the owl sector of the city and she wanted to show me something, she dragged me into a ship and flew to an area of earth i don’t even know where. But we got there and it was the most beautiful thing id ever seen. To be fair id spent most of my life in the city and its not that pretty but I digress... She told me Malcom had showed her this place when they were on a joyride, she called it Sacramento. Still not sure what it means but whenever i think of her it goes through my mind. Also the reason I remember this was because of what happened next...

We were sitting on the beach and watching the sun go down, waves dying down slowly and coming to a rest at our feet. She was leaning on me and about to fall asleep when I said “Im glad that Im not a guardian, even if i was immortal, if you weren’t...I would have to live without you forever...”

This is the part where karma bit me in the a**. Just as I said this she took her head off me and said, “Ken, You’re...glowing???” From that point on, my life was forever changed. I was the one thing I never wanted to be, a Guardian, immortal servant of the light.

We went home to the tower after and told Malco- Oh right! Ha Ha! Im an idiot! Who’s Malcom? That’s probably what you’re wondering. Let me back up a sec, Malcom Rayez was Aleina’s adopted father. He was also the person id soon look up to when I became a Guardian, but before that happened I hated the light. I hated being immortal, I hated being a guardian and having a destiny that was already predetermined...that didn’t include Aleina...

Now that I was a guardian I figured I had to make the best of it, I learned about the 3 types of Guardians from books and Malcom, and decided to follow in his footsteps and be a hunter. I went on a few small missions with him at first, nothing big like a vanguard strike, more close to patrols. Gathering info or holding a line, that kind of stuff.

Anyway, I went with him for a long while, back and forth from the tower to the city and back to space trying as hard as I could to still be with Aleina when I could. But no matter how many patrols and enemies of the light I took out, I still hated being a guardian, I referred to myself as a slave to the light once, Malcom didn’t like that.

Even worse, the further I went with the thought of hating the light and being stripped of my life with Aleina, the more I pushed her away...

Years went by and eventually she became sick, this was around the time I started to do more interesting missions with Malcom, I wanted to be there for her but I couldn’t. Again the light had pushed me even further away from her, I couldn’t take it anymore. That’s when it got bad...

I mentioned earlier how if you were seeing this there was two reasons; 1 I’d suffered my final death, or 2 I’d become a Dredgen. This next part will finally explain all that. Back to what i was saying, I had reached the end of my rope, my leash to the light, I needed to find a way out.

Malcom was, at the time researching Luna, he had told me of a place on the moon he had seen, a massive Hive fortress. He said he could sense the darkness seeping out of the cracks, turning his warm light cold as ice. Told me how a fireteam of six guardians went to quell the source of this evil and died for good.

I figured, no one really knew what the darkness was, we just knew it was the opposite of the light. Something about doing this rubbed Chase the wrong way and I told him to leave me alone, so he did. Then I did the most dangerous, stupid, craziest thing I have ever done...

I jumped into the damn H-E-double hockey-sticks mouth. Without my ghost.

I visited the city hospital one more time before I left, she was knocked out cold, I kissed her one last time, pulled my cloak over my head and walked out. I asked Amanda for a favor, told her if anyone asked where I went tell them I went to Venus. I didn’t know what I was getting myself into but I knew Malcom would come after me if he knew where I was.

I arrived on Luna pretty quickly and landed my ship a little further from the landing zone just in case. I had read about another guardian, a titan? Maybe he was a hunter? Not important, a guardian who went to Luna and came back a changed man, a worse one at that. I think his name was Rezyl...

I transmatted my sparrow and jumped on, seeing a few Fallen Dregs but nothing I couldn’t handle, just lackeys. Soon I came to a pit, almost crashed my sparrow but braked in time, lucky. I looked into the pit, had to be at least a mile deep, no way down. No stairs, no transmat pad, no cliffs and smooth all around. Like it wasnt a formation, but made.

Fortunately for guardians we can survive long drops, but even this would take some inginuety. I grabbed my knife, turned around so my back was facing the pit, my front the Earth on the horizon, and jumped into the chasm.

I flip myself around, plunge my knife into the rocky side of the pit and start sliding down. I get about halfway down until I realize the pits bottom was solid shut. I quickly jump off the side of the wall, holster my blade and take the rocket launcher off my back. I aim the missle at the bottom and pull the trigger, the projectile races down to the bottom and blasts a hole in the hard stone. I put my launcher back and ready my hand cannon.

I make it through the hole in the bottom and its pitch black, I send some solar light to my knife and use it to see. I hear them before I see them, Thrall, tons of them, they’re drawn to my light and the chittering is getting louder. I load my hand cannon and charge toward them. The bullets that exit the chamber echo in the cavern until they find their mark.

Eventually the wave of Thrall are strewn across the cave floor and im walking over the dead hive trying not to trip over them. I keep treking through the cave and eventually get to a large room with some light. I see three Wizards trying to summon something, I decide I don’t want to know what it is and take out my sniper. I land shots on the first and second but it didn’t seem to do much and the third is summoning Acolytes to chase after me. I switch back to my hand cannon and start firing. I jump up on a ledge and take out the first Wizard as it lets out a screech that makes me pull my cloak up over my head. When the screeching ends I focus on the Wizard sending Acolytes trying to shoot at me and screwing up my aim. I load my last rocket into my launcher and aim for the head scoring a direct hit.

I move down from my ledge and throw a grenade at the group of enemies eliminating two of three problems. Then I move onto the last Wizard trying to take out my sniper but he throws a cloud of poisonous gas and I have to stop to dodge it. Then I summon my Golden Gun, I put 3 rounds into his head and he goes down. Im about to move on until I hear a rumble. I turn around to see the biggest Hive Knight i had ever seen in books or on missions, standing in the middle of the summoning circle and it looked...dark....

...You still here?

[thatpapsmearrrrr]

germojugs

Ode to Germolene. So basically I sit here whilst Belle and Sebastian are playing the background on 6 music and I think back to them long shitty days of the year of 2001with half a pinch of misery and half a pinch of Gemma’s dad’s weed listening to tunes they only play on 6 music at 4am all the John Peel show stuff around that era didn’t really know what it was Gemma loved muse we met at a party in a field through a girl named Mary then met abruptly when me and loads of folk crashed her house after this sleazy guys’ birthday party you know the kind of party £10 in the tin for a stripper who was possibly or actually a vulnerable woman barely scraping by to get her kids the newest PlayStation game a horrible and nasty way to make a living it was Christmas and Gemma latched on to my mate rob she thought he looked like Matt the guy from muse rob was a sun reading racist wanker and had greasy hair, and I will write a bit more about him in some more personal journal type blog posts rob was far removed from Matt the muse singer blokey the year 2001 will be a haze of nu metal old idiot friends and shit mental health where my life was concerned but Gemma helped me through this her younger sister became infatuated with greasy robs mate the curtained haired ironic Justin who was 19 or older and was dating a 14 year old who then dated a guy who was at least late 30s sick as fuck as this was happening I had to leave that group of fuck headed wank twats .there was an incident were I was high on ecstacy and I told this paedo who was dating ironic Justin’s jail bait ex that he will burn in hell and that he was a vile shit he gave me a beer and cried to me saying he loved a 14-year-old girl fucking sketchy cunt I think I punched him and gave him a nose bleed …fuck it that was so Papa roach of me !!!(off topic I found a Papa roach shirt in my wardrobe last Thursday creepy as fuck.) any way I started going to Gemma’s a lot and weaned her away from the badness of greasy rob whom she didn’t care for much as her younger sister started to hang round more with ironic Justin Gemma’s dad had the best cannabis it was f****** amazing like f****** amazing I haven’t smoked weed for almost five years now but even thinking of Gemma’s dad’s weed makes me want to eat a tube of Pringles and listen to the greatest hits of the stones laying on the floor in a striped jumper in coronation Street (that’s the name of the street they lived in) it had no Rita Kevin or ken just me and Gemma’s dad and a record player I will get to the end of this story as I have to as I need to for what happened…you the reader of this will understand when it ends in the last paragraph or whatever Gemma shared my passion with the smiths we listened to them in her electric pink bedroom with black varnished floor boards she didn’t care much for smoking weed or such I got her into the smiths I heard she loved the fact that it was me who got her into them as she got me into radiohead among other bands soulwax and mad capsule markets along the way around this time Danny became her lover he of blink 182 songs and a twatty mate named Andrew who in all honesty was a berk who led Danny on a road to petty crime and other such shit….my depression became deeper I grinded my teeth stayed out for days even went to London to meet a female I met online ( this wasn’t in the the days of tinder it was 2001 it was msn chat I stayed with her in her mother’s house her step dad was younger than me it was fucked up another story for another day I guess ) Bob Dylan’s playing in the background as I type back to the electric pink bedroom house in coronation Street and I’m blurred the fuck out by good weed and Gemma’s dad telling me how in the sixties he traveled to Woodstock and attended the festival ( this was true he showed me photos) but the greatest thing about Gemma’s dad wasn’t the weed wich was the best I’d ever smoked or the tales of Woodstock or how he once walked around London to find where Jagger and Richards were partying, or he’s garden or even how him and Belinda weren’t married and had been and still are together they didn’t believe in marriage radical man!! Total legends the greatest thing John ever told me was that when he was a hairdresser in that London he cut wait for it he cut Trevor McDonald’s hair that story alone had me fucking hooked  (Trevor McDonald was a newsreader) I love the news… Getting back into shit Danny dumped he’s mate Andrew who seriously fucked up Alex a girl who along with Gemma helped me to realize maybe my bad feelings and emotions were mental health problems to which was a major fuck yeah moment I, for now, will stop writing this and post another part of this when I can be arsed …As you were…