#she literally literally immediately is like ANYWAY and it's SO good y'all just had a moment and you literally are like UH SO WHATD YOU SAY

[yashley]

"She's so charmin', y'know! She's just so--"

[imaginespazzi]

Part 1: Don't Be A Stranger

Masterlist - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5

But if (my) world was ending, you'd come over right?

(In which UCLA anon's roman empire became this writer's roman empire and we've finally reached the beginning)

Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd

Themes: Angst, Pining, Hurt/Comfort and a little bit of Fluff

Words: 8.4 K (other parts will be shorter....maybe)

TW: Swearing, Alcohol, Injuries, Alludes to Sexual Content

A/N: Hello my lovelies <3 Gonna keep this as short and sweet as possible but we've finally, finally gotten to the UCLA fic. A huge shout out to UCLA anon, because this is their master idea. Couple of things, I've never been to LA or UCLA and therefore some things are out of whack. The timeline is also a little out of whack but I swear I will try to keep it as consistent as possible. In the mean time, just ignore some of the inconsistencies pretty please. As always, feel free to let me know what's bad, what's good and what else you'd like to see. I hope y'all enjoy this first part and let's get another W today!

August 2021

where are you 

i literally have to be at the airport in an hour paige where are you 

dude 

are you on your way?

you better be driving and that’s why you’re not answering 

PAIGE

i’m sorry about last night i shouldn’t have said that 

but you said a lot of shit too so call it even?

this isn’t funny where are you?

i have to leave in 15 mins 

are you actually not coming?

wtf????

this is actually bullshit

get over yourself bueckers 

wow 

fuck you

just landed 

thought you might like to know 

sorry my plane didn’t crash i guess 

September 2021

dude enough okay 

can you just call me back??

i just wanna talk 

i know you're mad i get it but i miss you   

November 2021 

hi i’mma be in dc over christmas

nvm 

idk why i’m trying again  

maybe i should block you 

this is kinda pathetic of me what the fuck 

December 2021

i thought i saw you today but idk

couldn’t have been you cause if it was 

would you really not even say hi?

i’m done trying paige 

merry christmas i guess

March 2022 

i misz you 

lyke a wot

love uuuuu pppppp

even if ur a bwtich 

pkese pick up 

ignore that 

people drunk text exes apparently i drunk text you 

wait 

i don’t need to tell you that 

you already ignore it all anyways

 

August 2022 

i heard about the acl 

i’m sorry 

idk if it means anything, but if you wanna talk

nvm 

***

September 2022 

When the doorbell rings, on a quiet Thursday afternoon during a rare moment of alone time, Paige expects it to be a lot of people. One of her parents deciding that they actually weren’t going to leave her alone. Someone else in her family showing up out of the blue to provide comfort. Maybe one of her teammates popping up to keep her entertained. She even thinks it might be some random fan who got too invested and figured out the address for her air BnB. It’s the saddest testament to how broken they are, that the idea of it being Azzi Fudd standing outside her door, never once crosses her mind. But there she is, when Paige opens the door, dressed in ripped jean shorts and a light blue tank top, the girl that had been her best friend, and maybe a little bit more. 

Silence stretches between them as Azzi fidgets with her hands and Paige continues to stoically stare at her. It’s been almost a year since they’ve seen each other, even longer since they’d last shared a happy smile. And you’d have to go back to before she’d told her about her future plans, to find the last time Azzi had properly looked Paige in the eyes.  

“Hi,” Azzi says finally, mustering up a small smile. Paige doesn’t know if hearing that voice, soft and subdued but still so familiar, fixes a crack or breaks her heart even further. She wills herself to be polite in response, to match Azzi’s polite greeting with a greeting of her own. But there’s clear discord between her mouth and her head, because her words are harsh and hollowed. 

“What are you doing here?”

Azzi swallows, smile disappearing as she immediately digs her fingernails into her palms and Paige feels the guilt settle into her stomach. It’s like the night before all over again. If she closes her eyes, Paige can still hear her voice loudly echoing in Azzi’s childhood bedroom. She can hear the angry words that she’d hurled at her best friend, each one like a well-aimed arrow piercing the other’s girl's heart and tearing into Paige’s own soul. Some would call what she’d done self-preservation. She’d call it her biggest mistake. 

“I um-,” Azzi sucks in her bottom lip, “I was in the area and thought, maybe I’d check in.”

“How did you even know where I was?” Paige hates how cold and accusatory her voice sounds. It’s a version of herself she doesn’t quite know how to deal with, one that hasn’t ever appeared for anyone other than the girl in front of her, “I know I didn’t tell you.”

Any semblance of calm is gone from Azzi’s face, as she seems to realise that she’s not going to be getting any cordiality from her old friend. 

 “And we’re off to a great start,” she mutters under her breath before replying to Paige’s exact question, “no you didn’t. Your dad-”

“You talked to my dad?”

“Yeah. I mean you know Drew looks up to Jon and José so much and they still talk and stuff and he came over- Drew I mean- and then your dad was there and we just got to talking and you came up and yeah. He told me and well I live here, kinda, so I thought- well I thought maybe you’d like some company?”

As Azzi’s rambling explanation comes to an end, Paige doesn’t miss the tinge of hopefulness in her voice at the last bit. The younger girl shuffles her feet, as she stares at the blonde expectantly. 

“I don’t-” Paige struggles to draw in a breath as the voices in her head argue, “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

Her words are met with silence as Azzi stares at her blankly. 

“I- you,” she blinks rapidly, clearly at a loss for what to say at the blatant rejection, “I can’t come in?”

“It’s just- I’ve had a lot of people visit you know,” Paige bullshits, suddenly feeling very exhausted, “and my family were here a couple days and my friends are coming soon and-”

“And I’m neither of those things,” Azzi says, her tone low and breathy. 

“That’s not what-”

“It is,” Azzi closes her eyes for a brief second, when she opens them, the flash of hurt in them feels like a dagger through Paige’s chest, “it is like that and it is what you meant and it’s- it’s fine.”

“Az-” Paige chokes out, feeling her lungs collapse when the other girl moves to leave, “please,” and she’s not even sure she’s asking for, but it’s not this. It’s never been this.

Azzi stops and when she turns back around, there’s a determined look on her face.

“I just-” she rubs her face, composing herself before focusing her eyes on Paige, “you’re the strongest person I know. And you’re going to come back from this, better than ever. I know it. The whole world knows it. Because you’re Paige Bueckers. You’re something else.  You’re the hardest worker, you’re just- you’re the best.”

“You don’t-”

“Just- just let me finish okay and then, then I’ll go or whatever but Paige, you’re all of those things you know? Strong, brave, the best fucking player- but, it’s also okay if sometimes-, if sometimes you aren’t. It’s okay because this- this is hard, I know it is. So if sometimes you’re not strong or-, or brave- or not feeling like working hard- it’s okay. And if there are moments where you- where you want to give up, that’s okay too. It doesn’t make you- it doesn’t make you any less than what you are. It just makes you human, and it’s okay you know- to be human. It’s okay if- if you hurt and it’s okay if you’re not okay. It’s- it’s okay.”

The two girls stare at each other, eyes shining with tears, as Paige let’s Azzi’s words wash over her. She’s been told a lot of platitudes about her injury, from her coaches to her teammates to her family. And she knows she has plenty of people in her corner, who root for her and who genuinely do believe she’ll have the greatest comeback ever. But the motivational speeches get draining after a while and all she’s wanted to do for the last couple of weeks is wallow. Then she felt guilty about wallowing, that little voice in her head yelling at her to be productive and work on getting back to herself because that’s what everybody expected. Paige hadn’t even realised how badly she needed someone to give her permission to not be okay, not until the only person who’d ever known that part of her, had finally said the words she so desperately needed to hear.

The thing is, when she was younger, Paige used to keep everything bottled inside. She’d always been hyper aware of her privilege and her problems had always just seemed so insignificant in front of her parents’ or her friends. So she’d kept them to herself, trapping herself in a web of her own burdens that sometimes threatened to strangle her. And then she’d met a girl at a USA basketball camp when she was 15, a girl who had gently flicked her fingers and Paige’s walls had fallen like dominoes. She hadn’t even known she was drowning, until Azzi had shown up with a lifeboat.

“I just-,” Azzi breaks Paige out of her trance by breaking the eye contact between them, “I didn’t know if anybody had said that to you yet and I just- I wanted you to hear it.”

In the span of a minute, a thousand and one phrases take birth in Paige’s mind and then die on the tip of her tongue. She opens and closes her mouth, trying to express even one of the myriad of emotions that are swirling like a tornado in her brain. But nothing comes out except a litany of incomprehensible noises. And Azzi seems to find the wrong answer in the silence, giving the blonde a timid nod. 

“Take care of yourself P,” her voice catches on the familiar nickname, as she shoots Paige a sad smile, before beginning to walk away. When Azzi chose UCLA, she’d lit Paige's heart on fire. So, Paige had drowned their friendship. And while all this time Azzi has struggled to breathe, Paige has burned but god, is she so fucking tired of it. 

“Fuck, Azzi wait,” Paige curses, hobbling to catch up to the brunette, who stops with a sigh but doesn’t make a move to return. Stubborn as always, Paige thinks, continuing her way over. When she does catch up, she’s not fully sure what to say and so,  “I uh- I’m out of milk.”

Azzi raises her eyebrows in question, crossing her arms protectively around her chest. 

“I can’t drive,” Paige explains slowly, “or walk obviously.”

Realisation dawns on Azzi’s face, “you’re asking me to drive you to the grocery store?”

“I guess,” Paige shrugs, trying to be nonchalant. 

“Seems like the kind of favour someone asks of their family, or their friends,” Azzi emphasises bitterly, never one to let go of an opportunity for sarcasm. 

Paige flinches, “right, I kinda deserved that one.”

She gets a raised eyebrow in response that very much says “ya think?”

“I’m trying here,” she says quietly, and Azzi’s hard demeanour softens, “I’m raising a white flag Az, calling a truce or whatever but it kinda needs to go both ways.” 

“What do you think me coming here was supposed to be?” the younger girl says exasperatedly, but she’s smiling again. It’s the third one Paige has gotten out of her today, and finally, she smiles back. They look a little foolish, standing in the apartment hallway, cheshire-cat-grinning at each other like idiots, but it feels like something has clicked into place again.  

“I’ll go grab my wallet, you go heat up the car.”

“It’s like 110 degrees dude.”

“Bro shut up, you know what I mean,” Paige huffs and when it makes Azzi laugh, she feels like she’s floating. It’s not as if she hasn’t been happy in a year because won’t you look at that, her world did keep turning after that one decision. But this is different. She feels airy and light, like she could jump off a cliff and fly instead of fall. 

“Well hurry up, I have things to do outside of just being your chauffeur.”

“Poor passenger princess, how the roles have reversed,” Paige mocks and it earns her an ever so familiar fond eye roll and for the first time in a year, she feels free. 

***

When she gets downstairs, Azzi’s leaning against her car door, a pair of sunglasses shielding her eyes. The hot California sun shines brightly against her tan skin, and Paige’s heart stutters because fuck, Azzi is golden. She looks every bit reminiscent of the girl Paige still has memorised and yet, every bit the promise of a girl Paige wants to learn by heart. 

“Nice car,” Paige smirks, alerting the younger girl of her presence.  

“It does the job,” Azzi says, looking up with a smile of her own, opening the passenger door for Paige to get in, “not all of us are raking in NIL deals to get the big guns, but we make do.”

“Steph Curry brand ambassador say what now?” the blonde girl teases as she slides into the car. When she looks up, Azzi’s frozen in place, “what?”

“Nothing I just-” she’s wearing sunglasses, but Paige knows Azzi's trying to avert her gaze, “I’m kinda surprised you know that.”

It’s Paige’s turn to look away, their newfound comfort giving away to that old awkwardness, “I keep up with most basketball news.”

To Azzi’s credit she doesn’t push. Instead, she makes her way into the driver seat without another sound. She’s about to connect her phone to the aux but Paige beats her to it. 

“Hey,” Azzi squeals, making grabby hands, “my car, my rules, my music.”

“Nuh-uh injury privileges,” Paige gloats, sticking out her tongue. 

“That’s not a thing.”

“Is too.”

“Fine, we’ll listen to your crap music.”

“I resent that,” Paige retorts, as Drake blasts through the speakers. The sound of it makes Azzi groan, and she dramatically bangs her head against the steering wheel. Paige spends the rest of the car ride singing at the top of her lungs. Azzi spends the rest of the car ride alternating between shaking her head and joining in with the singing. It’s like they’re back in 2020 all over again, back before they found themselves in the whirlwind of life, back when they were just Paige and Azzi.

*** 

Their trip inside the grocery store takes less time than the ride to get there, even if Paige takes her time dilly-dallying in the dairy section, pretending she’s going to get anything other than just regular milk. She’s overly conscious of the fact that their time together might be coming to an end, that this time she might actually have to deal with saying goodbye. But she’s not ready to go back to missing Azzi just yet. 

“Maybe you can show me your dorm,” she says quietly, once they're both back in the car, playing with the hem of her shirt. Beside her, Azzi draws in a sharp intake of breath, clearly not having expected Paige to want that of all things. In all honesty, the idea of stepping into the world that had stolen Azzi from her is not all that appealing to Paige but she wants to hold onto this moment just a little bit longer. 

“You wanna see my dorm?” 

“A chance to see how the non-blue blood peasants live? I’d never pass it up.”

“Non blue blood,” Azzi scoffs, "Ever heard of John Wooden?”

“I was talking about women’s basketball but yeah I have heard of him. I won the award last year. Over you,” Paige smirks, wiggling her eyebrows. 

“Not everyone’s a phenom their freshman year,” Azzi retorts fondly, unable to mask the hint of pride in her voice. 

“Well we’ll see this year-” Paige stops herself, cold seeping into her lungs, as she remembers why she’s in the stupid state of California in the first place. The lighthearted mood in the car goes tumbling out the window as her words hang like a dagger in the air. 

“Paige,” Azzi whispers, trying to wrap that one syllable in comfort. She reaches out to touch the blonde’s shoulder but must think better of it because her hand hovers mid-air for a second, before she pulls it back. Paige is suddenly hyper aware of the fact they haven’t touched yet. It’s a reminder of the fact that whatever progress they’ve made today, there’s still so much they haven’t even begun to unpack. 

“It’s fine,” Paige’s voice is steely, “just drive.”

Azzi opens and closes her mouth a couple of times, before simply nodding and starting the ignition. She’s clearly holding back and Paige doesn’t know how to feel about it. There’s a part of her that wants Azzi to push her to talk like she would before, but there's another part of her that knows this new rope they’re trying to string between them is fragile. 

They ride in silence to Azzi’s apartment, both of them too caught up in their own thoughts to bother with music this time. As the UCLA campus nears, Paige can’t help but hate it just a little bit. She’s aware she’s being petty. Acting like Storrs, Connecticut is some hub of beauty is probably a stretch of the imagination for anyone but she’s determined to dislike this place out of principle.

“Hmm not too shabby but like where’s the fucking cows?” Paige jokes, as the car comes to a stop in front of Azzi’s apartment building. She steps out gingerly, pretending to inspect her surroundings, making tsk-tsk noises at the most random things. 

“I’ve seen your apartment Bueckers, don’t even try,” Azzi retorts. 

It shouldn’t surprise Paige to see one of Azzi’s teammates when they enter her living room. It’s just like UConn really in the sense that there’s always someone there when you walk in but something about seeing Charisma Osborne just chilling in Azzi’s space suddenly makes it more real that the younger girl is definitely a UCLA Bruin. 

“Oh,” Charisma gives Paige a once-over, clearly not having expected to see her, “hi Paige.”

Paige waves, shuffling her weight on her crutches, unsure what to say. It’s not like she doesn’t know Charisma, they’ve literally won a gold medal together for USA basketball. She’s even met the girl a couple of times after and she likes her, she does. But her bitter brain is focused on the fact that this is one of those girls who had gotten Azzi as their teammate, one of the girls who got to see Azzi everyday. All things Paige had not gotten. 

“You didn’t tell me you were bringing company Az,” Charisma says pointedly, looking at Azzi and Paige bristles at the use of the nickname. She’s being all sorts of ridiculous but at least she’s self-aware of it. 

“Last minute decisions,” Azzi replies airily. The two girls lock eyes and Paige can tell they’re having some sort of unspoken conversation and now the green-eyed envy monster is out in full force. 

“I insisted on seeing her dorm,” she says finally, breaking into whatever staring competition the two UCLA guards are having. 

“It’s not a problem,” Charisma reassures, standing up from her position on the couch, and coming over to give Paige a tentative hug, “I just didn’t know you were coming. But it’s good to see you, Paige.”

“Yeah,” Paige tries to muster up a proper smile as she leans in to return the hug but it comes out more like a grimace, “you too.”

“We’re gonna go chill in my room,” Azzi says, beckoning to one of the doors in the hallways and Paige obediently follows her, waving a half-hearted goodbye to Charisma. She’s secretly pleased to have Azzi back to herself. 

The room is nothing out of the ordinary except it has Azzi all over it. She’s in the pink comforter that is thrown haphazardly over a clearly not made bed. She’s in the unicorn plushies laid delicately over a dark blue couch. She’s in the little flower stickers that outline the mirror on the far side of the room. There’s a wall dedicated solely to pictures and fairy lights on one side and Paige is immediately drawn to it. A familiar ache reverberates in her chest as her eyes flicker over the pictures of Azzi’s family. She’s missed them. Then there’s the photographs of Azzi in her UCLA uniform, her teammates surrounding her and Paige has to resist the dangerous urge to rip those off the wall. Be happy for her happiness, the logical part of her brain yells, not seeming to realise she’d left any chance of that in the dirt a year ago. As she tears her eyes away from those offending pictures, they land instead on a whole other set of photographs and she feels her heart catch in her throat. 

It’s a set of three images of her and Azzi, taken at various moments. Paige brushes her thumb against the one of the two of them with their arms around each other at the Minnesota  state fair. Azzi’s beaming at the camera and Paige is beaming at Azzi. They look so young, so naive, so happy. 

“I’m on your wall,” Paige breathes out, turning to face her best friend, “Fuck, I’m on you wall.”

“Of course you are,” Azzi affirms, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world but she shuffles nervously, giving away the reality behind her stable demeanour. 

“I never answered your texts. I didn’t call you back,” Paige lists quietly as the first tear falls from her eyes; she’s been holding them back all day, “and I’m on your fucking wall.”

Azzi looks away, unsure how to deal with the fact that apparently they’re no longer tip-toeing around the past. She doesn’t know how to tell the blonde that there had never really been a second thought about whether or not those photos were going up on the wall.

“Doesn’t matter,” she shrugs finally, “you’re my best friend. You’re always gonna be my best friend. Ride or die right?”

“Ride or die,” Paige repeats in a whisper before she all but throws herself at Azzi, practically moulding herself into the younger girl’s body. Caught off guard, Azzi stiffens for a second, before relaxing into it. It’s late outside and the sun has set, but in this moment, the world shines the brightest it has in a year as two stubborn girls finally find their way home to each other. 

***

That night, Azzi asks her tentatively if she wants to stay over and of course Paige agrees. Lying awake next to a familiar stranger, she lets herself finally remember the day things had first started unravelling.

November 2020

“You’ll probably get one of the upstairs apartments, so we probably won’t actually be living together which is good because can you imagine if I had to see your goofy ass 24/7?” Paige puts a dramatic hand to her forehead, as she leads Azzi into her room.

She’s too caught up in her excitement having Azzi at UConn, and planning what’ll happen next year, to notice that the girl in question isn’t participating at all in her enthusiasm. Paige has been waiting for what feels like a year (in reality it’s only been a few months) to finally have her best friend come visit. The minute the car had pulled up, she’d taken it upon herself to start her sales pitch all over again, missing the sympathetic smiles she’d gotten from the rest of the Fudd family as she pulled Azzi away to show her the glories of the campus. 

“Did you see my assist to Christyn today?” Paige gloats, falling onto her bed with a smirk. 

“It was pretty great,” Azzi concedes. 

“It was fucking perfect thank you very much. I set her up perfectly, exactly how she likes it.”

“Right.”

“And then did you see how excited the team was for her? For everyone? Never gonna find a greater group of girls.”

“They seem wonderful P.”

Paige furrows her eyebrows as she catches Azzi still lingering by the door instead of joining her on the bed. The brunette fidgets with the sleeve of her sweater, chewing on her lips.

“Are you allergic to my bed?” Paige waits for some smartass response. When she doesn’t get one, she frowns, instincts going haywire, “Az, you good?”

“I- '' Azzi looks away, swallowing nervously, “I need to tell you something and I- I’m not sure how you’re gonna react.” 

“You get a boyfriend or a girlfriend or something in the last few months that I don’t know about?” She says it light-heartedly enough, but the thought of it sends a sharp sting through Paige’s heart. In hindsight, she thinks maybe she could have dealt with it having been that. 

“What? No. Just- just don’t- dont take it personally okay. Like you can be upset about it but- but don’t hold it against me yeah? My parents- they said- they said you’d get it. You’d be upset but you’d- you’d get it because you- you get me right?”

Paige’s chest hammers as she watches the younger girl draw in a deep breath, “you’re scaring the shit out of me right now.”

“I’mcommittingtoUCLA” Azzi says all in one breath, the words blending together. 

She’s sure she’s heard it wrong. There’s no way. After all this time, after all their conversations, all the pitches, how hard she had worked, there was no way this was going to be the end to all of Paige’s efforts. 

“What?” she whispers, crossing her fingers that she has in fact misheard. 

When Azzi averts her eyes, she knows she hasn’t, “I’m committing to UCLA.”

The first time Paige and Azzi met was somewhat awkward, what with Azzi’s shyness and Paige being slightly overeager to make a new friend. When they’d become bus buddies, they’d progressed to being casual acquaintances who could small talk and share smiles. And then the flight back to Minnesota happened and everything had changed. Every moment after was filled with conversation or laughs or a comfortable silence. Until this one, where the sudden silence between them foreshadows an ominous future.

“Say something,” Azzi says finally, her voice shaking. 

Paige stares at her for a second before, “you named your dog Stewie.”

“What?”

“You named your dog Stewie. After Breanna Stewart who played at UConn. It’s not-” Paige wracks her brain, hands flying animatedly “it’s not Meyers or something, after someone who played at fucking UCLA. You named your dog after a UConn great. How are you going to take him to UCLA with you?”

Azzi stares at her, clearly not having expected that level of questioning of all things. Who could blame her when Paige herself feels a little insane. 

“This is a joke right? You’re fucking with me? Ha ha ha very funny,” she claps deliriously,  “hilarious prank seriously, like hats off you’ve outdone yourself but enough okay? Say sike right fucking now.”

Azzi makes a strangled noise, “it’s not a joke Paige. That’s- that’s my decision.”

“Then change it,” Paige yells, catapulting off the bed.

“Paige-”

“Have you told UCLA yet?”

“I wanted to tell my family and you first.”

“Oh wow, how kind of you. How fucking generous of you to do that Azzi,” Paige bites back sarcastically and Azzi flinches. 

In a flash, Paige’s expression goes from angry to desperate, “you still have time to change your mind . Please just- just think about it again okay? You still have so much time and you know what, stay here for a couple more days. Spend time with the team, with the coaches, with me and you’ll see-. UCLA just sounds nice you know? California, the sun, I get it, of course it’s tempting. But just- just stay here okay? And you’ll see this is where you belong,” she leaves the, with me, unsaid. 

“Paige,” Azzi’s voice cracks. She takes a step toward her and then pauses. It’s the first time in a long time that Azzi’s hesitated when it comes to Paige. It won’t be the last. And when she looks at Paige through her long eyelashes, tears threatening to fall from her dark brown eyes, Paige knows she’s lost. 

“No,” she’s pacing now, chest heaving up and down in a combination of frustration, anger and misery, “this is not fucking happening. We’re not doing this. I made you a whole recruitment video. Did you watch it? Do you know how long it took me to make it? Has the last year been a fucking joke to you?”

“Of course not-”

“Don’t even. Because clearly- clearly it has. Must’ve been hilarious watching me beg and plead with you when you already fucking knew you were going to committ somewhere else.”

“That’s not fair,”  Azzi’s voice rises at the accusation, “I had no idea where I was going until a couple of weeks ago. You can’t seriously think that low of me.”

“Not fair? You know what’s not fair, Azzi? We’ve been talking about playing together, about finally being on the same team, the same fucking state, for years. What’s not fair is you throwing all of that away on a whim.”

“I’m not committing to UCLA on a whim. This is my whole future we’re talking about. You don’t even know how much thought I’ve put into it. And I’m choosing what’s best for me. You can’t hold that against me Paige. You can’t.”

They stand on opposite sides of the room, taking in harsh staggered breaths and glaring at each other. The tension in the room is electric as the string connecting them frays. Paige and Azzi bicker, they don’t argue. Or at least, that’s how it used to be. 

“Az?” their stare down is broken by a knock on the door as Katie Fudd lets herself in. Immediately, as she stares between her daughter and the girl who’d become just as important, Katie knows what has happened, “we’re going back to the air BnB, are you staying here?”

The answer should be obvious, like it used to be. Of course she would stay here. It was meant to be a no-brainer. But before Azzi can say that, Paige intervenes and the string snaps. 

“She’s going with you,” the blonde says firmly, before turning her back. She won’t let Azzi see the tears, she won’t. For her part, the brunette stares at Paige’s back silently for a couple of seconds, before a mask of determination slips on. 

“Fine. If that’s what you fucking want,” Azzi sneers before brushing past her mom, eager to get away and hide her own tears. 

When Paige turns back around, Katie is already looking at her. The older woman walks the length of the room and pulls the younger girl into a hug that she readily melts into. Paige sniffles as Azzi’s mom soothingly rubs her back. 

“We’re driving back tomorrow morning,” Katie whispers quietly into Paige’s hair, “I know you’re mad sweetheart but come say goodbye okay?”

And she does. She shows up with only half an hour or so remaining before Azzi leaves, but Paige shows up. They hug stiffly, exchanging maybe a sentence or two but in that moment it’s enough. They’ll call later when Azzi gets home and it’ll be awkward for a little bit but they’ll break through. They’ll figure out a way to go on without having to talk about the “big thing”. They’ll hold on as long as they can, until they can’t anymore. 

***

September 2022

After the night Paige stays over at Azzi’s apartment, they're attached at the hip for the next few weeks, just like old times. They’ve fallen into a routine of sorts. Azzi shows up without fail every day after practice to pick Paige up from her rehab, and then the rest of the younger girl’s time is Paige’s. The first time she’d seen the brunette leaning casually against her car, Paige had had to stop herself from jumping into her arms. She’d played it as nonchalant as possible, joking about Azzi being stalker, but inside, she could feel it again, the dangerously familiar tap of this is all I’ll ever need. 

On days Paige doesn’t have rehab, Azzi still shows up right on time on her doorstep with a board game or food or something.  It’s gotten to the point where every time the doorbell rings, Paige opens it expecting Azzi. The couple times it’s not, she tries and fails to hide the disappointment on her face. It earns her an eye roll from the delivery guy but it’s worth it for the laugh it elicits from Azzi when she tells her the story. They fall back together as if they’d never fallen apart. And what’s more terrifying than finding out that she’d never truly gotten over old Azzi, is realising how easy it would be to fall in love with new Azzi. 

When Caroline, Nika and Piath come to visit the weekend after, all three of them can immediately tell that something's changed. Their teammate seems lighter, as if she’s finally found a sense of calm. But their incessant prodding and raised eyebrows are only met with shrugs from a tight-lipped Paige. It isn’t until Azzi calls, and Nika snatches the phone out of Paige’s hands, gasping at the callerID, that they finally figure out why their point guard has a new kick in her step. 

“You should invite her out with us tonight,” Caroline is the first to speak, giving Paige an encouraging smile. 

“Carol,” Nika hisses, “we can’t just invite the enemy.”

“She’s not the enemy,” Paige defends immediately, “we don’t even have a rivalry with UCLA.”

Nika scoffs indignantly, “of course she is. She picked a different school over us. Over UConn! That’s weird. Who even does that?”

“Lots of people do,” Caroline, who occasionally texts Azzi (albeit she’s kept that somewhat of a secret), supplies helpfully, shrugging when the Croatian glares at her. 

Piath nudges Paige when she notices the other girl has gone quiet, “ignore Nika. She doesn’t mean it, you know that. If you wanna invite her, invite her.” 

And she does, she wants to so badly. It’s insane really because it hasn’t even been a full day since they’d last seen each other but Paige swears something inside her has been missing since. There’s something awfully terrifying about letting Azzi back into the UConn version of her world, the world that the younger girl had once rejected. Still, if they’re going to try this again, she supposes sooner or later, it’ll have to happen. 

“Put her on speaker,” Nika orders when Paige grabs her phone back from her. 

“Nika,” Caroline, younger only by age, warns, pulling the other girl away, “we’re supposed to be cheering her up, not making life harder.”

Azzi answers on the third ring, her voice teasing  “miss me already?”

Yes, Paige thinks, sometimes I think I miss you even when you’re right here next to me, sometimes I think I’ll miss you forever. But she doesn’t say any of that. 

“Not a chance,” she scoffs instead, “besides you called me first.”

“Butt dial.”

“Mmmhmm I’m sure.”

“Shut up,” Azzi laughs and Paige is glad her teammates aren’t here to see the goofy grin that appears on her face at the sound of it, “I just wanted to see if we were doing something tonight?”

“Yeah- umm- you remember I told you about the girls coming down this weekend. They- uh- they wanted to go out tonight and uh- you could come along?” 

There’s a pause on the other end and Paige knows Azzi’s going through the same thought process as her. 

“I don’t wanna intrude on your time with your team P-”

“You wouldn’t be intruding,” Paige cuts in immediately and although she figured her teammates were definitely eavesdropping, Nika cursing about her being “pussywhipped” followed by in-sync shushing from Piath and Caroline, gives them away. 

On the other end of the line, Azzi’s quiet again, “it’s okay P, you go have fun with your friends. We don’t have to spend every night together. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

What she doesn’t say is that maybe they need to learn how to live like that again, how to live apart again. Paige is almost done with the LA part of her rehab, something both of them are still in denial about. It’s only a matter of time before they return back to their two separate worlds and neither of them are sure they’ve managed to repair their friendship enough to not slip back into their foolishness again. 

“But I wanna see you tonight,” Paige whines, her tone teetering on the edge of sounding like a desperate girlfriend, “please.”

“Paige-”

“Pleaseeeeeee. I’m literally injured and begging Az, it’d be mean to say no.”

“What does your injury even have to do with any of this?” Azzi sighs exasperatedly, “but yeah okay fine calm down Bueckers. Send me an address, I’ll be there.”

“You don’t wanna come pregame here?” 

“Dude, let's not push it, okay?”

“Yeah, yeah okay see you,” Paige pauses, “hey Az?”

“Hmm?”

“I’m really happy you’re coming tonight.”

“I’m really happy you’re happy P.”

***

Azzi Fudd is a menace. See, people often get fooled by her soft-spoken nature and shy demeanour, but Paige has been around her long enough to know the truth. In the beginning it was the witty quips the younger girl always had ready whenever they were having some ridiculous argument. After that, it was the direct pranks that wreaked havoc on Paige’s life. But tonight, in Paige’s opinion, tonight is Azzi’s worst offence. She had to have done it on purpose, had to have known the sheer effect it would have on Paige to see her dressed like that. The red criss-cross tank top fits her like a mould and the way her ripped jeans shorts cling to her hips leaves little to the imagination. Her diamond belly button piercing shines against her skin, taunting Paige. She wants to touch, she wants to feel, she wants to do all the unspeakable things in her mind but she’s forced to just watch. 

What she hates most though, is that everybody else is watching too. Since Azzi’s walked into the club, Paige has had to fight the urge to strangle every stranger who had given her best friend an appraising once-over. Some of them let their eyes linger long enough to give her time to plot out the perfect murder strategy (it’s the only way she can stop herself from actually committing a crime tonight). And, as Azzi dances with Caroline, hips swaying to the beat and holding the other girl a little closely, Paige has the irrational urge to hit sweet, kind Caroline of all people. 

The thing is, Azzi’s been a little too attached to Caroline since she got here in Paige’s opinion. And she gets it. Piath, bless her soul, is trying but has always been a little awkward around new people. Nika is definitely not trying, loyally holding onto a grudge on behalf of Paige. Which leaves Caroline, who’s already familiar territory and the younger girl has grasped onto her like a lifeline. But enough is enough Paige decides, as she slips out of her seat with a determined look. Smoothly, she cuts right in between Caroline and Azzi.

“Nika’s a little wasted and I don’t want to deal with,” it’s a blatant lie but Paige knows appealing to Caroline’s more motherly instincts will get her what she wants. She gets a raised eyebrow in return, her teammate clearly catching her ruse because Nika looks visibly fine. But it works anyway and Paige gets Azzi to herself. She reaches for the other girl’s hand, twirling her just so she can hear that stupid silly laugh, and then pulling her back so she’s facing Paige. 

“You having fun?” 

“Always have fun with you P,” Azzi replies. She’s clearly tipsy but there’s no hint of insincerity in her voice. It makes Paige’s breath hitch. 

“Yeah?” she whispers, taking a step closer, “more than with Carol?”

Azzi giggles, “more than anyone.”

The song in the club changes and as the crowd adjusts to it, someone jostles Azzi and immediately Paige grabs at her hips to steady her. As she finds her balance, Azzi’s giggles subside, realising just how close she is to the blonde now. They’re stuck in slow motion as the world dances around them. The combination of adrenaline and alcohol pumping through her veins is what convinces Paige to test the limits. One hand still squeezing at Azzi’s bare waist, revelling in finally getting to touch, she brings up her thumb to trace around Azzi’s lips. The younger girl gulps, but when she doesn’t try to move away, confidence pulses through Paige. Her heart is beating frantically out of her chest, years and years of want and need that she’d shoved as far away as possible, desperately fighting to get to the surface. 

Pushing herself closer, so their chests are now pressed to each other and Azzi’s hands have no choice but to latch onto her biceps, Paige places a delicate, teasing kiss to the corner of Azzi’s lips. She wishes she could record the whine it elicits and listen to it on loop for hours. Smirking, she moves to place another one on the other side, this time pressing her lips a little harder, a little longer. Azzi’s eyes are closed shut, hands gripping onto Paige so tightly, she knows there’ll be a mark on her biceps tomorrow. She cups Azzi’s face with both hands now, her own eyes shutting involuntarily, as she finally, finally brushes their lips together. 

This time, the strangled noise that leaves Azzi’s throat, is one Paige wishes she could forget as the younger girl rips herself away from Paige, the force of it creating almost a foot of distance between them. It doesn’t take long for the familiar sting of rejection to make itself home in her heart. Azzi’s eyes are brimming with tears as she manically shakes her head. Without a word, she rushes through the crowd, making a beeline for the exit, leaving Paige confused and craving for another taste. 

***

It takes Paige a second to gather her thoughts before following the brunette. She ignores the confused glances from her teammates, making some bullshit excuse about fresh air as she fights her way outside. When she gets there, Azzi’s leaning against the wall, eyes closed as she takes in long deep breaths. 

“That’s not usually how girls react when I try to kiss them,” Paige says after a second, trying to make light of the situation, even if her heart is heavy with anxiety. 

It’s the wrong thing to say because Azzi scoffs, “you kiss a lot of girls don’t you.”

“Yeah and most of them kiss me back,” Paige bites back. 

She’s taken aback by the fire in the darker-skinned girl’s eyes as Azzi finally opens them, heaving herself off the wall. 

“I won’t be one of your groupies Paige. I won’t be one of your desperate one night stands. I won’t be just some other hookup. I won’t!”

Frankly she’s a little offended Azzi would even think that of her. She’s aware of her reputation. In fact she’d probably fed into it a little bit, exaggerating her escapades to Azzi on the phone her freshman year, when they had been on the verge of combusing and she’d been desperate to get a rise out of the younger girl. Last year though, last year was different. But Azzi doesn’t know that. 

“I don’t want you to be any of that,” she replies feebly. 

“Then what, do you want me to be?” Azzi’s voice rises with each syllable. 

Paige stutters, the words getting stuck in her throat. The truth is she wants Azzi to be everything. The truth is, Azzi already is everything. Except there’s too much between them and she just can’t say it. They stand in silence until Azzi finally breaks it.

“I think these last few weeks of summer might have been the best of my life,” she says miserably, “and that might be the worst thing ever you know? Because it’s not real. You’re gonna go back to your world and you’ll- you’ll stop replying to my texts and you’ll stop- you’ll stop calling me and I- I don’t know if I can do that again.”

“That’s an awful lot of assumptions you’re making about me,” Paige is on defensive mode now, feeling a fight brewing. 

“Because that’s what happened. Go back through your fucking phone Paige. Look at all the times I tried. And all the times you never did. You just- you cut me out Paige.”

“That’s not fair. You chose fucking UCLA. Over me.”

“No,” Azzi corrects immediately, anger seeping into her tone, “I chose UCLA over UConn. You made it about yourself.”

Paige swallows back a bitter response in favour of trying to prevent a full-fledged argument, “okay, okay let’s not- let’s not do this okay. It’ll be better this time- I- I won’t ignore your calls or texts or you okay? Just- can we just go back inside please?”

“That’s the thing,” Azzi’s anger is gone, replaced by a sad wistful smile, “I don’t know if I believe that you will,” a single tear rolls down her cheek, “I- I don’t fully trust you and you haven’t fully forgiven me. So where do we go from here?”

It’s a lie what they say about the truth setting you free, Paige thinks as Azzi’s words squeeze at her heart, because all it’s done is unleash shackles of despair that holds them both hostage. It had been easy the last couple of weeks, to pretend the last year had never happened. It had been easy for Paige to pretend that she was over what happened, to ignore the part of her brain that still felt so utterly betrayed. 

“Azzi, what are you saying? You don’t- you don’t wanna be friends?” Paige feels nauseous even saying it. 

“No I-” Azzi chews at her bottom lip, “I’m saying this- us- we’re too fragile to complicate even more. I barely- fuck- Paige, I barely survived losing my best friend. I don’t think I could survive losing something more.” 

The worst thing about it all, is that it makes sense. And really, Paige doesn’t know what she’d expected to happen if Azzi hadn’t pulled away when she did. They’d kiss, maybe give in and do more and then what? Shake hands and walk away? Or make false promises that would ultimately lead to resentment? No, Years and years of something deserved better than either of those masochistic endings. It makes sense, it does but it doesn’t mean Paige has to like it. 

In front of her, all the fight evaporates from Azzi’s body, as the younger girl leans back against the brick wall of the club, sliding down and pulling her knees to her chest. She looks every bit as miserable as Paige feels and all the blonde wants to do is wipe away the stress lines creasing against the younger girl’s beautiful phase. She moves to sit down next to her best friend, shuffling so their shoulders are pressed together and intertwines their fingers together. A sigh of relief escapes her when Azzi doesn’t immediately pull away. Instead, she squeezes their hands tighter, as if she’s scared that if she lets go, Paige will disappear. 

“You didn’t lose me you know,” Paige says softly after a second, nudging Azzi’s shoulder when the other girl lets out a noise of protest, “I know, I know it feels like you did. It felt like that to me too except- every time something good or bad happened to me, I heard your voice or- or maybe I just really wanted too. We got lost a little bit but I didn’t- I didn’t lose you and you didn’t lose me. There’s a difference. I don’t think we could ever lose each other like that. Not really.”

When Azzi turns to look at her, the golden glow of the street lights illuminate the emotions in her eyes. She gives Paige a soft smile, “well Bueckers, if basketball doesn’t work out, maybe you have a future in poetry.”

“I could do whatever I wanted,” except what I want to do the most. 

It doesn’t take long for the Uber Azzi’s already called to start pulling up and that familiar ache of longing creeps into Paige’s spine. She knows tonight isn’t their final goodbye; they still have a couple more days. But those days will be spent ignoring and pretending, unlike tonight and the firm grip they have on reality. They rise off of the cold pavement together, dusting themselves off. It takes a second of awkward glances before they’re surging into each other’s arms, squeezing each other so tightly that it’s hard to breathe. Paige wills herself not to cry, hiding her face in the crook of Azzi’s neck. 

“We’ll be okay,” she whispers, unsure if it’s more for her benefit or Azzi’s. 

The unwanted beep of a car is the only reason they reluctantly pull away, hurriedly wiping away unshed tears, they pretend the other can’t see. Azzi musters up a brave smile, before slowly moving away and it takes everything in Paige not to crumble and begs her to stay. Azzi’s halfway to the car when she turns back and it feels like Paige can breathe again. The brunette’s face is conflicted for a second before turning determined, as she starts walking back up. 

“Az-”

Paige’s confusion is stifled as Azzi fists her shirt, pulling her into a searing kiss. It’s desperate and needy and it’s only a few seconds before the dark-haired girl is pulling away again, but it sets Paige’s entire world off balance. 

“I just-” Azzi’s breathing is rapid and uneven, “I’ve wanted to do that since I was fifteen and- just- fuck- I just-,” she blinks up at Paige, “I hate- I hate leaving things unfinished and for fucks sake if you don’t call me back this time Bueckers- just- don’t be a stranger.”

Paige doesn’t get time to answer, she doesn’t think she could even if she did, because Azzi scurries away almost immediately. She stops when she gets to the car, turning back to give Paige one final look, a look that will haunt Paige forever, before getting into the backseat. As Paige watches the back of Azzi’s uber gets smaller and smaller, her tongue darts across her lips as she tries to memorise the faintest taste of Azzi’s strawberry-flavoured lipstick. And she knows, she’s so utterly and completely and terribly fucked.

[sarah-yyy]

Jie jie are you going to do a rec post for SOKP?

aight!! i got this ask two?? three?? weeks ago, but never got round to doing this because work has been fdjkhdsghskjf, but here y'all go

what: period cdrama // completed // 38 eps, roughly 40 mins each (+ one bonus epilogue ep, about <10 mins) where: iqiyi (standard disclaimer that i don't watch with subs so i don't speak to the quality of eng subs)why: villain (of sorts) reincarnation fix-it, what's there not to like?? incredibly attractive cast.

this is jiang xuening. she is, as you can probably guess, the empress. there's been a coup. it's headed by her ex-best friend (who was in love with her until his family got massacred and she chose to leave him to pursue her dream to be empress) who resents her + a bloodthirsty advisor to the emperor. the only man she's ever loved (not the emperor ofc) hates her and is in prison because of her. her life is hell. she knows she has no way out. she trades her life for her imprisoned lover-

-and wakes up 18 again.

because jxn is not stupid, now that she's got a chance to do things again, she immediately decides this time she's going to do better!!

firstly!! she's going to be good to her bff yan lin!!

yan lin's family was massacred before?? not this fucking time!! not on jxn's watch!! she's got a few months to get her shit together and fix this for him!!

"this sounds too easy, sarah, it's a reincarnation fix-it, she's got cheat codes," you say? you're wrong. did you expect jxn to pay attention to anything in her first life beyond clawing her way up to the position of empress?? hell no. she knows the what, the when and the how - she's missing so much of the whys, which is probably important if she wants to stop it from happening.

in the meantime!! my girl's got other problems to deal with!!

in her first life, she died a really goddamn tragic life in the palace. when she was rebooted into life #2, she made the decision to stay tf away from the palace and everyone associated with it. no jxn in palace = no jxn dying in the palace. easy peasy!! foolproof. no way she can mess this up.

she ends up in the palace as the princess's study buddy 🥰 ofc she does, because jxn just can't get a goddamn break. thank you yan lin and co for meddling. 😊

while she's there, she accidentally seduces befriends the princess.

princess was in love with a crossdressing jxn in life #1 and got Really Pissed Off about it when she found out jxn was in fact not the man of her dreams (or a man at all). she made jxn's life in the palace hell in life #1.

jxn: this time around i just won't dress as a man!! no male!jxn = no princess falling in love!! princess: fool. this time i'll love the female you 🥰

ykw? works for jxn. as long as she's not dying, everything is fine. girlfriend +1 it is then!!

while we're on the topic of sorting out her relationships while she's in the palace, let's talk a little bit about zhang zhe, aka the only man she ever loved in life #1

this is zhang zhe, low ranking officer in the ministry of justice. as straight-laced as they come. excellent cheekbones. in life #1, had a Soft Spot for jxn and did some stuff against his conscience for her. in this life, she's determined not to ruin him!! he's like her 白月光

ANYWAY these two meet again in the palace when he saves her life when she's being framed for treason. immediately, jxn is all 😍🤩 over him again. why would she not!! he was her biggest regret in life #1!! she literally died to save him!! (for those of y'all who expect to have SL syndrome over him, prepare to be WELL-FED, these two have a long arc)

alright y'all know how i said jxn was in the palace to be the princess's study buddy? well!! let's meet their teacher:

xie wei. advisor to the emperor. resting bitchface 10/10. petty af. occasionally feral and murderous 🥵. they were sort of briefly acquainted way back when they travelled to the capital together and jxn saved his life when he was having an Episode (long story short, bb boy is Unwell). the last face jxn saw in life #1 when she took her own life. you guessed it, he's aka the bloodthirsty advisor who staged the coup in life #1.

jxn is (rightfully) quite afraid of him. she tries her best to stay out of his way, but he's trying to sound her out (because she knows his ~secret) to see if she's friend or foe, so they end up in each other's paths more often than not, including important times such as these:

when jxn is trying to thwart a plot to frame yan lin's dad for treason

when xie wei is committing murder

when jxn is heart broken over zhang zhe

they kind of form an alliance!! in jxn's mind, xie wei and yan lin staged the coup together in life #1, so their interests must sort of be aligned!! plus!! xie wei is hella smart!! he'll know what to do to stop yan lin's family from getting masacred!!

ANYWAY that's the gist of the story - i've avoided most of the spoilery parts i think.

there's also the typical cdrama villains you'd expect in a show like this: evil empress dowager, power-hungry prime minister, spoiled brat daughter of the prime minister who is also scheming to be queen, evil uncle of the king trying to usurp the throne etc etc. all the things you need to prop the Palace Evil Schemes up.

i've seen some people say this is a 低配 version of love like the galaxy, which, ykw? fair. 😂 lltg is written better. sokp was a fun watch, though!! y'all know i am into reincarnation plots, and am basically predisposed to liking most of bai lu's dramas. and!! this show ends on such a good note!! i've been tricked into so many ~vague endings this year that this was so so so good to get <3

some of the parts dragged a bit for me (i am p meh about zhang zhe, i mean i get the appeal, but he's not doing it for me), but it wasn't bad! i liked xie wei's character enough to sit through a lot of things. could've done with like 300% more yan lin and the princess, but we can't always have what we want!!

[neuroticbookworm]

Boston and his "friends"

Last week, after I watched Boston get wrongfully branded by Atom as a sexual predator and isolated from the group, I was seething with rage and wanted to see Cheum, Mew and Ray to fall at Boston's feet and beg for his forgiveness after the truth comes out.

But today, honestly, I think it is a better character arc for Boston if he doesn't get that resolution from them. Because he fucking doesn't need it. He has defined a wonderful relationship with Nick, his first love, that will give him joy until he leaves for New York (cc @lurkingshan) and he has listened to Atom's grovelling apology. He has no other hangups tying him down.

Cheum, Ray and Mew, on the other hand, do not have the conviction to confront the truth in their relationships. They accused Boston of being duplicitous but none of them approaches their own problems with anything even remotely resembling a healthy communication.

Cheum heard her brother tell her that he lied about Boston taking advantage of him and all she could say was this:

She did not feel horrified that her brother chose to slander a friend, and she does not feel any remorse for her actions. I bet she thinks it's all fine because Boston is a slut anyway, he slept with Top and ruined Mew's relationship, so why does it matter that he was wrongfully accused this one time. Well, Cheum, it doesn't matter to him, but it will matter to you as you have not learned the integrity to face your mistakes and apologize for them. An apology should not be made expecting forgiveness in return, and it should not be valued based on the moral standing of the person you're apologizing to.

Mew. Oh, Mew, Mew, Mew. @lurkingshan pointed out during our post-episode conversation that Mew cannot stick to his schemes, he peters out at the first sign of stress and gives in to the status quo. He wanted to give Top a second chance, and then Boeing showed up. After understanding that Boeing is playing games for his own revenge-on-Top agenda, he initially goes along with it to spite Top. And after all the scheming has made both of them utterly miserable, he listens to his parents and finally decides to give Top an honest-to-goodness second chance. But, he doesn't give it after going through the painful process of self-reflection, and communication where both of them can set clear boundaries and understand where they each stand. Nope. Instead, they just casually agreed to push it away to deal with it in the future.

I declare my love for Theory of Love as loudly and passionately as I can whenever I get the chance on this hellsite, and one of the main reasons why I love that show so goddamn much is the conversation between Khai and Third in the Theory of Love Special Episode, where Khai admits that a girl kissed his neck at a party and how he tried so hard to keep Third from finding out. Third then tells him that he has known about the kiss the whole time, and how Khai need not worry; he knows the difference between an accident and a kiss with purpose. He then tells him that Khai is not the only one trying to make this relationship work, he is trying too, because Third also loves Khai and wants to be with him.

This is what healthy communication looks like. The issues and miscommunications must be tackled head-on and resolved before moving on, so they don't fester into an even bigger and more painful problem later. You can't "leave the problems to the future" and expect it to work itself out. In case y'all don't remember, Khai had to step on literal broken glass to stand his ground and plead his case after a miscommunication, and it was still not enough. That's how painful this process is and I will bet my bottom dollar that Mew has exactly zero percent of the fortitude it takes to talk through a relationship faux pas.

Ray, the human embodiment of a fucking dumpster fire. All he says to Sand after accusing him of taking money from his dad in exchange of taking care of him is "I'm sorry" and Sand immediately takes him back into his arms (I'm so embarrassed that I was briefly rooting for Sand at the start of the show). He does his community service with Sand for a hot minute and then immediately plans an overseas trip to whisk him away. He spells it out, yet again, how he is always looking to "buy" Sand (cc @wen-kexing-apologist)

Buying Sand, ya know, the exact same thing he was mad about, one episode ago.

Trying to prove that Ray's communication skills are severely subpar and unhealthy is like trying to prove that the water in the ocean is salty; the more time I spend on this, the stupider I would look.

All of this is a long winded way to say that Cheum, Mew and Ray will be too busy trying to escape their own trappings, the ones they built for themselves while they convinced self and each other that they are better than Boston; while Boston moves on with his life, living unapologetically as he always does. They can keep their apologies -- I don’t need it, and neither does Boston.

[cxhleel108]

S7 Thots for this week: I’ve had enough…

• Here go this bitch🙄🙄🙄

• The new bed outfits were kinda meh but that purple and gold number was cuuuuuute.

• Lame ass sex scene on the daybeds yayyyy.

• Yes Willow we had a VERY nice evening. Did you have fun with the “him-shaped space” in your bed?😁

• Aw Bonnie and Vicky are sad that I made love with Bryson? That’s awful, I really don’t give a fuck tho.

• Snog, Marry, Pie day is here😍😍😍

• Oh don’t worry bitch I got somebody in mind too!

• Daphne immediately going to snog Evan like she’s so real I’m sorry.

• The fact we get to dodge the pie getting thrown at us LMAOOOOO Willow you’re never gonna win bookie.

• The fact everyone wants to marry Tanya (my MC for clarification) oooohhh she’s mother!

• Bryson you really coulda just snogged me babe but Imma look past it cuz you still made sure to put a ring on it😁

• Willow I know YOU of all people are not tryna call ME predictable.

•🫵🏽🤣

• Not Rafael coming to kiss us??? Sorry Daph🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️

• Why I actually got upset cuz he ain’t choose us?

• Oh ok nvm I’m good now🤭

• 🫵🏽🤣

• Why did Vicky emphasize that she had to tell us stuff about our LI and the other boys and then we proceeded to pay 29 gems just for her to not tell us anything about our LI…Fusebox somebody is gon sue y’all niggas one day while y’all keep playing.

• BYE WILLOW!

• Oh Bryson you are so shady for saying last to come should be the first to go, aka Vicky and Travis needa pack they mf bags. I’ve taught him so well🤩

• I don’t wanna go talk to these people about “where their heads are at” I DON'T CAREEE.

• Evan asking me who I think the most annoying couple is omg? Why are y’all so messssyyyyy??? (I love it)

• Oh that's cool, we really don't give a fuck tho!

• Oop it's date time so you know what that means girlies...outfit reviews🤩🤩🤩

• Don't get me wrong these are both cute but there are certain details on both of the tops that's fucking them up.

• The date was cute. Not much else to comment on.

• OH-

• I'm crying how #Raphne get destroyed just after they was pledging to leave the villa for each other😭😭😭

• Honestly real asf.

• Ok my whole thing is...Uma...If y'all just made up and had a wonderful lil freak session then why after a very small, I mean MINISCULE, disagreement about not talking so quickly about the future are you gonna just go out and try to make a move on another bitch's man? Niece I can only keep defending you for so long like...

• But at the same time Alex lowkey deserve it cuz he pissing me off with all this hypocritical whiny ass lil baby shit.

• Omg Bryson finna ask us to be his girlfriend soon oooo #Raphne watch out cuz #Tyson is gonna take your spot😘

• LIKE WHAT IS SHE BABBLING ABOUT???????

• Uma you may be immature and a lil slow at times but you still a real ass bitch, I can't hate you💯

• Outfit time again🤩

• Omg omg omg these both eat thank god I was so scared.

• Don’t say what I think you're about to say...

• Oh ok you did it anyway lol🙂

• Willow if you know what's good for you, you will keep your mouth SHUT!

• So Willow gets to stay and now Evan's gone...ok.

• So what I'm gathering from this confession about Raf (I literally couldn't be any less shocked) is that every man that has met Tanya in here has wanted her...she's literally queen of the villa like all you hoes are peasants at this point🤣🤣🤣

• GIRL DON'T CLOCK JAKE WILSON LIKE THAT-

• Willow...don't get fucked up😄

• Willow...don't. get. fucked. UP.

• ...

[valentine-writes]

for you!

「 tws + notes: no tws, fluff, not edited, kinda ooc my bad,, im learnin,,, 」

↳ ft. gwen stacy, hobie brown/spider-punk, miguel o'hara/spider-man 2099, miles morales, and pavitr prabhakar

「 gn! reader, can be platonic or romantic <3 」

author's note: obvi strictly platonic for miles, pav, + gwen but like. anyways!! just practicing writing for them becuz otherwise they will be So OOC for everyone's reqz and i literally would die. highkey struggled a bit but i'm tryin y'all!!! ("trying" but this is unedited ASF) ...eveyone look away from my obvious bias for gwen i heart her. i wanna,, also write for more characters eventually,, sooo,, hc reqs,,, hehehe :3 no full ficz,,, yet-

GWEN STACY headcanons:

▸ she doesn't do friends. not really anymore. oh but like. aside from miles, ur also an exception.

your friendship just kinda. happened?? it was a slow process but eventually y'all got close

▸ you supported her in her band endeavours! u know how knives chau rocks the homemade sex bob-omb merch in scott pilgrim vs the world (sorry 4 being a scott pilgrim fan and referencing it. im battling DEMONS.) THATZ U. biggest supporter for realz!! and she appreciates it so so much :,(

▸ she tries to hold u at arms length initially but ends up missing u too much when ur not around :( you've gotten really close to her over time– something neither of you had expected. but having a friend is refreshing for her. she's secretly always just a little anxious about losing you.

one time, in the middle of your developing friendship, she just kinda... dipped. left you on seen, didn't return your calls– you hadn't seen her in a while. but she came back, apologized profusely (through a lot of stumbled sentences and awkward rambles), and then swore never to do it again. you were... conflicted. so you asked her if anything was wrong and she mustered the courage to be vulnerable with you.

you are probably one of the first people in a long time that she'd actually been able to open up to.

▸ sleepovers where u jus stay up and watch slasher films. idk man i just feel this one in my heart. even if ur not particularly fond of horror, gwen is cool abt it if u need to cover ur eyes or hide under a blanket. y'all are practically screaming at the screen whenever the protagonist makes a dumb choice, acting like the characters can actually hear u

"if you go into that FUCKING BASEMENT I SWEAR–"

"nah– she's doing it. watch. WATCH."

"I CANT"

HOBIE BROWN headcanons:

▸ u are NOT calling this guy hobart. the first time u ever called him that Everyone Else was thrown off. like. no. we gonna stick w/ hobie for this one.

you, however, had the funny little idea of shortening his nickname even further. now sometimes– just on occasion– it's bee.

naturally, he's too cool to care abt what he's called, so he doesn't seem to have too many feelings about your overly cutesy nickname for him.

▸ you know any instruments? great. jam sessions with him. you don't? he'll teach you to play guitar. few ppl are given permission to touch His Guitar... but he can afford to make exceptions.

as he's teaching you, his chest collides against ur back a couple times, his hands guiding yours. he'll gently guide your fingers on the fretboard and yeah it's like– maybe not the most efficient way to learn. but whatever. he's pretty good with helping you figure it out.

▸ if you express wanting a piercing, tattoo or wanting to change up your hair (dying it, cutting it, whatever–) he's immediately gonna be like. "yea? ok. bathroom. right now." he'll help you out. king of diy truly.

and hey, the piercings never get infected, the stick and pokes turn out fine, the haircuts never look that bad, and the hair dye doesn't turn out awful so like. win???

supports you in your impulsive choices– piercings can close, diy tattoos fade, hair can grow– but the joy of self expression iz 4eva!!!!

▸ he lets you steal clothes from him. totally will point it out, but won't be all that bothered by it. HE'S GONNA BE TAKING FROM UR CLOSET TOO you practically share a wardrobe at this point. the others slowly become unable to differentiate which clothes you and hobie own individually. even if your wardrobes are completely different– trust he will find a way to keep a small piece of you with him

MIGUEL O'HARA headcanons:

▸ this man is emotionally distant asf. how did you achieve this relationship with him. answer: no clue!!! (｡･･｡) now that ur tight w/ him i am begging you. for the sake of the multiverse. get this man a therapy consultation RIGHT NEOWWW..... they literally have therapy services available in the spider society hq. if you dont HAUL HIS ASS OVER THERE–

▸ it's really no secret miguel has a soft spot for you. though he is very adamant about the fact that he doesn't– most people know that he's a little less grumpy with you around.

you seem to be one of the only people who can actually make him smile. which is. crazy. the first time he ever laughed at a joke you made you just kinda froze and stared at him, wondering if you had just vividly hallucinated miguel being happy. it was a light chuckle, where he kinda,, put his hand over his mouth and looked away. but it was SHOCKINGGG

▸ if you managed to get along with miguel, you're probably also besties with lyla. miguel however does not enjoy this. mainly because you two gang up on him. a lot. aka whenever ur arguing about anything w/ miguel, lyla is more likely to take your side. for funzies!!! she calls you her favourite– and it's like. man. are you getting along with miguel just for his little hologram assistant? i would but im gon shut my mouth on this one

it's funny how easily u two get along. she has officially attached all his bank info to ur online shopping accs and gaming shit. go wild. he'll never know (he finds out.. eventually.)

▸ it's actually really weird how you affect him. and everyone's noticing. he's constantly overworking himself to preserve the safety of the multiverse and when he's not, he's reminiscing on the past- but you give him something that he hasn't had in a while- an actual break. you pull him away from his responsibilities, from the screens he gazes into for so long, and for once he can relax. even if it's just for a minute

MILES MORALES headcanons:

▸ i saw hcs of a friendship w/ miles like gumball and darwin and i literally cannot get it out of my head. y'all r tight like that!!!! itz canon now. considering miles doesn't have a lotta friends (in his universe, at least) he's glad to have you!!! you're probably one of the people he hangs around the most. if you're somewhere, miles is probably somewhere around you too. and if he is not? he's probably just late. spiderman-ing around nyc probably

▸ his parents have really grown to like you too!!! let's assume u dont pull a gwen and address them by their first names. (i love her so much no shade at all but PLEADYUWEGFEHF that was So White of her) miles always has you over to hang out– which usually means you're invited to have dinner with them. his mom especially is always makin sure ur feeling at home and u got enough on ur plate (she is so sweet i adore her)

miles is constantly hearing: "when are they coming over again? you haven't had them over in a while-" rio hearts u. (and i heart rio.)

▸ STREET ART WITH MILES STREET ART WITH MILES– he def taught u what he learned from his uncle aaron. eventually u found a place you two can spray paint 2gether and u go w/ him whenever u need to destress a bit ^_^ it doesn't matter what ur skill level is in art, he's happy to teach you! sometimes, for practice, he'll even draw you!!! and though he hasn't shown you yet,,, he's been comfortable enough w/ you to leave his sketchbook open when you're around

▸ ALSO!! your hangouts probably have a killer soundtrack. u share a collaborative playlist w/ miles and swap recommendations every so often– so whenever ur both 2gether and jus chilling you've got good music 2 blast which is a combo of both ur tastes!!! he probably loves ur music, even if itz something he doesn't typically listen to. it's jus so you.

▸U ARE HIS CANVAS NOW. if u let him, he'll doodle in pen on your arm. he's always so focused, his eyes fixed on your skin as he doodles all over your forearm and hand. his grip is gentle as he turns your arm, tilting it every so often to make sure it looks right. there is no awkward silence, no pressure to make conversation- the quiet shared is comforting.

eventually he runs out of space and blinks up at you,, almost forgetting who he was drawing on. he'll apologize for getting so carried- but his drawings look amazing.

...and then he realized it was permanent marker and immediately doubled his apologizes.

PAVITR PRABHAKAR headcanons:

▸ im going to put this here and i dont know why specifically this came to mind. but never play just dance with him. you will LOSE. one of thse people who don't have to try to win. but he WILL put his 100% in it and eat you UPPPP.

sorry u can't outdo him </3

like bro those moves AREN'T EVEN PART OF THIS DANCE HOW ARE YOU STILL WINNING???

▸ gym bro but not Insane Gym Bro just.... gym bro. will try to get you to workout with him,, but like. cool if you don't wanna! is the most supportive gym buddy to have though. will always encourage you throughout the entire thing and not even just to get you to push through a set- this boy genuinely jus believes in you so much.

▸ he's constantly talking to you about gayatri. he loves his gf sm. if ur one of those people who Don't Like hearing abt other ppls relationships he'll make an attempt to tone it down

but trust he NEVER. EVER. makes you third wheel them. gayatri also will make sure of this- so now... more than often... if you're tryin' to hang with the both of them- THEY BOTH TRY TO PLAY MATCHMAKER FOR YOU.

LIKE. you can't just be LONELY. they're gonna make sure of it. pav and gaytri number one wingmen,..,, women,,, besties

▸ probably texts u like crazy. the type of guy to send u things throughout the day like "this is so you :]" he loves his bestie (YOU!!!)

sometimes it's like,, a particularly interestingly shaped cloud. maybe a cool bug that landed nearby him. a flower growing out of the pavement cracks.

and then sometimes it's like. this.

"this is you."

[hecckyeah]

two weeks of chenford challenge day 4 - april 19th

prompt: open door

type: ficlet

important side note: I have plans for this to expand it, but I literally fell asleep in the middle of writing the next part which is why it's a day late, but since this was cute enough on its own I thought I would post it for y'all anyway, to have something for yesterday's challenge :) HOWEVER. stay tuned for the finished product soon!!

.

.

In Which Lucy's Apartment Desperately Needs Proximity Sensors . . .

.

As Tamara pushes the door open, all that’s on her mind is a hot bowl of noodles and a couple episodes of Stranger Things waiting for her after that day she just had at school. Gen ed has its perks, but logic class is not one of them. She’d been thoroughly humbled by the midterm exam, walked through a bowl of yogurt some idiot had spilled in the cafeteria, and fell asleep in anthropology – the one class with that sort of professor that has an eagle eye and a tendency to dock any student whose behavior he finds “unbecoming of a university student.”

But as her key clicks in the lock and she shoves open the heavy apartment door, only to see her roommate and said roommate’s boss with their respective faces at a physical proximity that is definitely not LAPD standard regulation, her brain takes a moment to catch up with her eyes.

It’s almost comical how fast and how far the two immediately fly apart, practically shoving each other away, putting as much distance between them as physically possible in such a small space. They look absolutely stunned, guilty, and just a little bit dazed.

She has no idea how to respond, except to flee.

“Oh, I . . .” Tamara drags out the word and points behind herself out the hallway. “I should probably go.”

“No!” Lucy exclaims, almost a little too quickly. “This is work.” Her hands are hidden under her sweater sleeves as she gestures broadly at Tim, who looks about ready to jump out the window. “This is . . . work.”

“Yeah,” Tim agrees. “We’re – We’re going undercover, and–”

“Hey, hey,” Tamara interjects. The why doesn’t matter, just that she clearly overstepped her roommate boundaries and they obviously need their space at the moment. No big deal. “It’s cool, I mean you don’t have to explain yourself.” She would just crash at Drake’s place. His sister probably has a set of pajamas she could borrow. “I should probably go.”

But again, Lucy is adamant that she stay, and as Tim rattles off some half-formed, awkward excuse and practically sprints out the door, barely sparing Tamara a sideways glance and a rushed, “Bye,” she has to wonder what the hell just happened.

She can tell Lucy isn’t ready to explain herself yet. She holds back the gut reaction she has to laugh and spares her roommate’s feelings by simply tilting her head and waiting for her to say anything. But Lucy only stares back, clearly too caught up in the whatever just happened to form any sort of coherent thoughts or sentences, so Tamara makes the executive decision and relieves them both of the pressure to communicate.

“. . . I’m gonna go to my room.”

“Yeah,” Lucy immediately agrees. “Me too. Good.”

And just like that, both the bedroom doors click closed, and Tamara throws herself onto her bed, feeling a laugh bubbling up in her chest as she stares at the ceiling in stunned silence. If that wasn’t the most awkward interaction she’s ever seen or experienced, she doesn’t know what was. 

One thing’s for sure, though: This is a story she cannot wait to hear.

.

.

[jewbeloved]

Feels good to be back.Hello again.I have a request:

How would Butters,Kenny,Pip,Kyle react to their S/O watching Bluey(Australian kids show)?

Butters, Kenny, Pip, and Kyle with a s/o who watches Bluey💙🐾🐶📺

I never watched Bluey before myself, and I only saw clips of it so I hope this is accurate.

I'm currently going through a writers block at the moment so I apologize If the characters' scenarios on here aren't long as usual.

Warnings: None

Gender: Neutral

💛 Butters Scotch 🧁

His parents probably never let him watch the show because they said it was too childish for his age 💀

You on the other hand, had the show all set up on your television and you invited Butters over to come watch it with you.

Butters knew about the show but he just never got to watch it, he's glad that he gets to watch it with you though!

You had other kinds of shows on your TV but you both mainly watch Bluey as another way of spending quality time together.

Since his parents won't let him watch it when he's at home and not able to go to your house to see it because he's grounded (again), he secretly watches the show on his phone.

He probably even spends the whole day watching it because of how entertaining and addicting it is 😭😭😭

You and him often do get teased by his friends for watching Bluey but you both don't give a damn, y'all both love this show and nobody is gonna stop yall otherwise.💛💛💛💛💛

🧡 Kenny Mccormick 🥭

He literally has no idea what that is-

He's not able to watch that very much shows on the television tbh.

He probably heard about it when he found you and his lil sister Karen watching it on your phone together.

Karen literally enjoys watching the show so much! She begs Kenny to come watch it with her as well.

When he watches it for the very first time, he immediately understood why you and Karen were so head on watching this show so often.

Whenever Kenny's parents were in on their usual drama, he would watch Bluey as a stress relief to melt away all his worries. He of course wouldn't mind watching it with you as well, since it helps his stress 10x more when you're here.

And when he's not able to watch it for whatever reason, you invite him over to your house to watch it with you instead.

He also wouldn't care If somebody told him that Bluey is a childish and lame show for him, he believes everyone can freely watch whenever they want. 🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡

💛 Phillip Pirrup 🐣

He is absolutely a big fan of the show.

He would have pictures of the characters in the show on his wall in his room like any fan would.

But as usual, he also gets bullied for liking the show anyways. But he's delightful to be able to share his moments of watching it with you 😊

You both mostly watch it at his house, since you apparently don't have a TV yourself in this scenario 😶

You ain't broke or nothing, you just live in a house without a TV alright? Stop asking questions >:(🫠

But anyways, similar like Kenny. Phillip also can't stop watching the show himself, he barely even gets up to go eat a snack or drink water because he's mind is too focused on watching the show.

You'd have to be the one to provide him with food and water, or you would just drag him away from the TV so he can take a rest for a while.

He would also be the type to be on social media and post related Bluey stuff on it and even memes as well.

While also forgetting that his classmates also use the same medias he uses and he gets bombed by them for that.

You and him probably agreed on being on a site where they couldn't bother you both, such as discord.💛💛💛💛💛💛💛

💚 Kyle Broflovski 🥝

You full on forced his boy to watch the show with you 😳

He has heard about the show but never really cared or paid attention to it as much, Because he preferred to watch Terrance and Phillip instead.

In the first few minutes of watching it, Kyle was merely confused on why you were so addicted to watching it a lot.

I mean he watches Terrance and Phillip a lot too, but never this much as you do with Bluey.

But he just lets you do your own thing even If he doesn't understand this show.

He later on grew comfortable with seeing it more often, but he would never admit it. Instead towards his friends.

"Hah! a Jew watching a Australian gay dog like show! Hahahahah!"

"Shut the hell up Cartman!" You and Kyle both screamed at him and he zipped his mouth closed quick.

Damn, If Kyle became that defensive when Cartman was teasing him for watching the show, Kyle must've grown to its liking.

But he still denies that he doesn't watch the show, he just doesn't want to admit it okay? 💚💚💚💚

HOLY COW I HAVE LIKE 50+ REQUESTS IN MY INBOX NOW?!

That's so overwhelming when I think about it...😭😭

[not-your-fucking-kacchan]

Can I request kirbaku x F!reader they go on vacation and have to fly there and the reader passes out out on the plane so she gets up to go to the bathroom and she passes out as soon as she gets to the front of the plane and someone screams someone passed out and they didn’t know it was her till she asks for them and she’s panicking cause she’s doesn’t see them till they get up but they put her on oxygen before they get up there so she’s literally crying for them and they calm her down once there up there? What ever happens after they calm her down is up to you(I am so sorry it’s so long but this is like what happened to me when I went on a plane) I am actually so sorry Ik I requested so much

No no no don't be sorry :<< if anything I'm sorry for it taking this long! :(

I love getting requests from you guys so don't apologise, y'all are what give me the motivation to write anyway!

Now onto the angst!

Masterlist <3

KiriBaku x Fem!Reader- Altitude

Is it hot in here? It's definitely hot in here.

You're on the verge of panicking as you stand up on shaky legs to get to the front of the cabin to use the bathroom.

You've never really been good with planes. Or heights.

It's not like you were expecting it to be this bad though. The turbulence is literally shaking you to your core as you manoeuvre to the front, having found it quite easy to get out of your set near to the pathway. The thought process went something along the lines of "if I can't see out of the window, then I won't panic". How wrong you were.

The view is absolutely stunning in Eijirou's eyes though, and he enjoys every second he gets to spend staring at the clouds like some sort of excited puppy. Katsuki sits in the middle of both you and Eijirou, glaring at his phone like usual and just waiting for this dumb plane to land already.

The three of you were going on a vacation to get away from work, and although Katsuki was hesitant, since he really does love his job and he worked his ass off to get to where he is in his carreer now, he was finally persuaded by you and the excitable redhead into taking some time off. "Only because Eijirou said he'd do my paperwork for a month" He said. You don't believe him one bit and you're absolutely right not to.

It takes a while for your legs to finally work, and as you struggle to get to the bathroom you suddenly feel very cold and your belly cramps up painfully. Everything blurs around you and darkness creeps from the edge of your vision, like a vignette. The dull grey surroundings on the plane only makes you feel even worse, and suddenly, you're on the floor.

The passengers sitting by where you had suddenly collapsed gasp and immediately unbuckle themselves to help you out, the concerned look from one of them making you whine and sluggishly reach towards nothing in particular, and you only wish that your boys, your best friends were there with you right now to say that you'll be okay.

"Ngh- K-Katsuki- Eiji- nh-! Ei-... Ji...

The passengers panic goes unnoticed to you as people yell for the airline staff and exclaim that you've collapsed, but Eijirou and Katsuki notice, and as they unbuckle their seatbelts to help out and calm the crowd, they're suddenly met with the sight of you on the ground, rapidly losing your grasp on consciousness.

By now you're already panicking, your breaths fast but laboured while your head swims with building pressure, and your thoughts run like a train as you silently beg for your friends to come to you. You're so cold and alone and everything hurts so, so much. It's getting harder and harder to breathe but you're left to panic about it because you're far too hazy to understand that your throat is closing up because you're having an anxiety attack.

The laboured, hyperventilative breathing is restricting the oxygen travelling to your lungs, and as you sob and cry for your friends, suddenly they appear in front of you.

Immediately they're by your side, Katsuki helping out with the first aid and checking your vitals while Kirishima grasps your hand in his, and when you're finally met with the sight of your best friends the tears finally escape your eyes, and relief flows through your body.

Well, it's either relief, or the help from the oxygen mask. Whatever it is, it really does the trick.

The staff have given you some oxygen to help you with your breathing, and as you take deep breaths, as Kirishima instructs, your vision becomes a little clearer, and your panic eases.

You're safe, and you can finally relax now.

[clatoera]

Picket Fence is Sharp as Knives Chapter 2: Barefoot in the Wildest Winter, Catching my Death

Heeeeeey. Welcome back, I call this a mini chapter. It's still almost 3400 words. Thats insane of me. This chapter is

Clove centric/ Clato

20 months after the war/ 7 after the epilogue of ARWBFB

Ironic because the starbucks I wrote this in was so cold my fingers were fucking numb, which you will understand the irony of once you read it.

This is not..intense. It's just a palate cleanser after the Glimmer Prequel I posted this week. I think everyone needed it. I honestly wrote it because we got 10 inches of snow last week and currently are getting multiple more inches as we speak.

Anyway!

Chapter title from Evermore (Taylor Swift)

Masterpost

AO3

Theres also a good bit of cashmere/enobaria mentioned in honor of @bodyelectric77 giving me brain amoebas. I'm just going to tag @kentwells because this whole sequel is your fault. Anyway! Love y'all! love the besties! love everyone! ( I just..love love),

By virtue of the location, the widespread villages littering the biggest mountain range in Panem like sprinkles atop a cupcake, District Two gets substantial snowfall. The kind of snow that allows an extra industry for capitol elites to come and pretend to live like a district citizen in a heated, maintained cabin on the mountainsides, where people can party and celebrate the simplicity of a winter snow in the way that only someone who doesn’t have to worry about keeping heat on can do.

 If you were a child in the district without the commitment (Privilege? Curse?) of training, you could celebrate heavy snowfall with snowball fights followed by hot chocolate with your friends in one of your living rooms. If you were a trainee, a possible tribute, snow meant drills in the cold, running despite snow reaching your knees, agility trials on ice. If you were a trainee with just enough of a rebellious streak, snowfall meant you snuck out with the other kids in your class and rode makeshift sleds down the hills otherwise used for terrain testing. And if you were a trainee that got caught, snow meant laying on your back in a bank of it, in shorts and t-shirts, until your skin burned and your body ached. If you were the right kind of District Two training kid- the punishment was worth the glimmer of childhood you got to experience. 

The snow was not even the worst part– District Two was extremely cold. Not the type of cold where the cute jackets and scarves produced in District Eight would be sufficient, but the type of bone chilling cold that it was a miracle the majority of the population did not freeze to death by the end of a particularly bad winter. The academy just factored the weather into training– figuring out ways to layer, to stay warm, how to get rest in these types of conditions, and how to keep at peak performance despite below freezing temperatures. The embarrassment of a tribute losing because they lost grip on a weapon (“because of the weather” is an unacceptable excuse), is deeply ingrained in any child who has gone through training in District Two. They considered it to be a privilege to train in such harsh conditions, a leg up on competitors of how to deal with what could be thrown on them in the arena. Weather was not an excuse for failure.

Clove, of course, knows these things. Years later she can handle Brutus’s remarks about her clumsy frozen fingers almost ending her life, but at the time it was an insecurity that was fortunately never addressed due to the scandal of her long-term hidden relationship and accompanying secrets coming to the surface. 

Despite her games being a literal arctic blizzard, the snow and the cold had not bothered Clove in the immediate after her games. Sure, there were times where if she closed her eyes long enough on her porch that it felt like she was back in the arena for the briefest of seconds. However the heat of adrenaline that rushed to her chest brought her right back, and when her eyes would fly open and land on her Victor’s Village yard she’d be snapped back into her new reality. A reality of survival and victory.

She was even somewhat fond of the snow, with the recollections of childhood, of times her and Cato had snuck out back in the dead of night to “practice” in the wintry conditions. 

“If it weren’t for your hair you’d blend right in.” Cato teased, but his hands slipping under her arms and knees revealed that he meant business. He tossed her, as hard as he possibly could, into an adjacent snow bank, where her tiny teenage body did indeed slip under the entirety of the pile. The fifteen year old girl would have in fact blended in if not for the deep espresso color of her hair. And the constellation of freckles all over her skin. And the deep evergreen color of her eyes. None of which, Cato knew, were normal details to notice about one’s training partner. 

The brief distraction would always be enough for Clove to grab him around the ankle, pull his feet out from under him, and bring him tumbling down right into the snow beside her. 

They’d always sneak back in with icicles in their hair, water dripping off their clothes as the snow melted away, and a redness that danced across both of their noses and cheeks. Sometimes the only thing that could properly warm them up after was sharing the same dorm room bed, with snide remarks from Clove about how he may as well be a human heater. While those remarks may be snide, they were never a complaint that is. 

It wasn’t snow after her games that bothered her, and truthfully, last winter hadn’t even been too terrible. Maybe somewhere, some cosmic control of the universe decided the people of District Two (realistically, the people of all of Panem) had suffered enough the previous year during the war. A couple of inches here or there, temperatures that dropped but never quite hit that bone chilling type of cold they were so familiar with. It was cold but not cruelly so, and that was nothing short of a miracle considering how many District Two citizens were displaced and without housing as a result of the rebels’ bombing. Those signature temperature dip and the blizzards would have been catastrophic to a district that was already facing such immense population loss. 

Now, over a year and a half since the conclusion of the war, brutal weather was back to strike their home with a bite. 

Multiple feet of snow combined with temperatures plummeting to near zero, both confirmed what Clove knew was coming: Winter in District Two was back with a vengeance. 

While Cato had been thrilled to have a classic District Two winter; to take his little sister sled riding, to introduce her to hot chocolate and the power of a hot bowl of soup at the end of a day in the cold (courtesy, of course, of Clove), Clove had truthfully been dreading the impending storm. 

The cold, quite frankly, hurt. 

It did not hurt from the biting sting of cold wind against flesh or because of tingling fingers and ears from too long outside; no, it hurt deep in her body, in every single movement of her joints. It hurt like her skeleton was crackling, like the marrow inside her bones itself was forming ice crystals that shattered with her movement. It wasn’t just the flexion of her fingers and shoulders that hurt at this point. It hurts to exist. It felt like her ribs were cracking with the expansion of her lungs. With every step, a dull pain inside of her hip sockets begged her to stop moving and just rest. She hadn’t been prepared for every joint that had been dislocated and every healed fracture to remind her that she was never truly going to be able to heal from what Snow had done to her. 

Clove, for the first time, understood what they meant when they called it bone cold. And holy shit did it hurt. 

She tried the rational and logical ways to warm up. She tried a shower with water so hot it should have blistered her skin off, but only slightly brought her down from the feeling of ice in her veins. She layered on two, three of Cato’s already oversized sweatshirts, swimming in layers of clothes that made her look like a child playing dress up without any warmth radiating deeper than her skin. She had laid in bed, weighed down by a comforter plus another ten pounds of throw blankets, that didn't even touch the ache inside her. 

All this is to say that Clove tried a lot before her desperation for any comfort resulted in her current position. On the floor…in front of the fireplace… both on top of and underneath the same ten plus pounds of blankets she had dragged downstairs with her. Even this, the combination of blankets, heat, and Cato’s clothes were only enough to slightly tamper down the ache. 

Still, it was apparently just enough for her to fall asleep that way, because the next thing Clove knows, she’s being gently shaken awake with a foot on her shoulder hearing the panicked whispers of “Babe….babe…Clove..babe…Clove..are you alive?” That can only possibly come from Cato, who is insistently shaking her awake. “Clove?”

“Hmmm?” Clove murmurs, peaking one eye open to glance up at the man oh so kindly waking her. He stands over her, flecks of snow melting on the tips of his hair, cold water running off the black waterproof fabric of his coat and onto her face all the way down where she lays under him. “Move back, you’re making me colder.”

“Are you okay?” He nudges her again, but kneels down to closer to the same height as her. He reaches out with an ungloved hand, and the second his icy fingers touch her face Clove recoils into her blanket shell. From this height Clove can see the redness along his cheeks and over his nose that makes him look closer to twelve than twenty three. “Why are you on the floor?”

“I’m cold Cato, and it really fucking hurts.” She whines, tucking her hands into the blankets with her. “I can’t get warm.”

“Right..okay…did you try the bed–”

“Do you think I laid on our living room floor without trying the bed first?”

“Okay, what about those really hot baths you like, I can take you-”

“Cato. I tried it. This is all that helps.” Clove whimpers, rolling from her back onto her side, facing the blaze in the fireplace. 

“I’ll be back just… Give me like..fifteen minutes.” Cato stands, and is already taking long strides upstairs before Clove even gets a moment to ask where he’s going. 

She lays there for what feels like years in the glow of the fireplace, in the warmth it irradiates and the minimal relief it provides. She feels the presence of him behind her, the light tugging of her blankets, before she sees him. 

“Don’t unwrap me, Cato, I’m warm-”  Clove protests, but when she feels large, warm hands sliding under her layers and practically wrapping around her torso she melts. “You’re warm, oh my god.” 

She doesn’t see him smirk, but knows him well enough to know he is, before he twists her to face him with the easiest twist of his wrists. He flashes her a grin, before pulling her flush against his bare, warm chest. Clove notices, absently, the way his wet hair falls just over his forehead how it did only in the immediate time after he showered until it dried.

“I’d prefer hot but I'll take it.” Cato taunts lightly as Clove buries her cheek against his chest, right over where his heart. “Comfy?” He teases, and a furrowed brow and a single narrowed green eye looks up at him in protest.

“Very.” Clove sighs, curling into him as his hands travel along the skin of her back and bringing heat with them. “You’re like a personal heater.”

“You could have called me, Clove…” Cato reminds her, tucking one leg over both of hers, using as much surface area contact as he could to bring her relief. “I would have come home.”

“You were with your sister, I wasn’t going to interrupt.” She doesn’t mention the embarrassment, the humiliation even, that she felt at the newest physical reminder of her time in the Capitol. A girl who used to love the snow, who loved the cold, now in pain greater than she’d ever admit to her husband. There were some things she didn’t even want him to know– her reduced pain tolerance, being one of them.“How did she like it?”

“She loved it!” Cato lights up, his smile reaching all the way to his eyes as he recounts his afternoon playing with his little sister. “Mom about killed me when she found out I was letting her go down the hill alone, but she had fun. No bones were broken.” 

“Mmm, remember that time we found a trash can lid, and I sat on your lap as we went down that big hill behind the training center in the middle of the night?” Clove muses, freeing her hands from her blankety protection and tucking them against his abs. She holds back a giggle at the way he flinches away from her cold touch, his muscle flexing under her fingertips. 

“You mean when we slammed into the brick wall and thought you broke your nose? And the giant bruise on my forehead that looked like you decked me with the handle of your knife?” Cato muses, wrapping Clove even tighter in his grasp, smiling to himself when he realizes that all the layers she used to try to insulate herself are his.  “Of course I remember.”

“Your entire body weight landed on me and crushed me into the wall, yeah, I thought I was broken.”  She wants to lift her head to scowl at him, but she is simply too warm, too comfortable, too safe right now to care. “You were giant, then, too.”

“We’re just lucky it was Brutus that punished us, not Enobaria.” There is a fond smile on his face as he thinks back to what cannot even be considered a simpler time –surely, laying on the living room floor with his wife, no games in sight, was far simpler than being fourteen and grasping for a glimpse of childhood– but certainly a nostalgic memory. 

“Lucky? He made us run four miles barefoot, Cato. I would have taken whatever Enobaria was going to throw at us.” Clove tucked her icy feet against his for emphasis, and Cato actually flinched out of the way that time. “See? You still don’t like cold feet.”

“Speaking of Enobaria…doesn’t she have that hot tub, why didn’t you go over? She’s in One isn’t she? You would have had it to yourself…” One would have thought, twenty months into sharing custody of Enobaria with Cashmere and District One, they’d have gotten used to her schedule, used to her not always being readily available at their beck and call.  

So many things had kept Enobaria in District Two, of course, in the past thirty some years of her life. Be it the limitations of interdistrict travel, the secret nature of her relationship with Cashmere (who had her own limitations, of course, considering the extent of the Capitol’s influence and abuse on her for over a decade), her commitments to her district and training, or maybe even Clove. Many reasons had existed to keep the Victor woman home, and now in the dawn of a new country, Enobaria had taken her well deserved freedoms. 

Of course, that did not mean that they could keep track of her. 

Some may go as far to say that Clove, Cato, and even Brutus, missed her sometimes. 

Not that a single one of them would ever utter those words to her.

“I thought about it.” Clove sighs, turning her face to press the other cheek against his skin, equally warming her face. “But they’re actually here, I guess they’re here for a while…until Glimmer has the baby. Cash wants to stay in One for a few extra months straight after, I guess, so they’re making up time here for now. And I did not want to interrupt something over there again, especially not in the hot tub…” She shutters, not from the cold this time but from a distasteful memory that she clearly has brought to the surface. “Besides…I didn’t really want to go outside.”

“It’s kind of funny that Enobaria and Cashmere act like kids with divorced parents…back and forth back and forth to split their time evenly. Why don’t they just stay here?” Cato raises an eyebrow, a coy smile on his face. “District Two is obviously the better option.”

“Cashmere can’t leave her brother and sister, you know that. And she’s definitely not leaving now that Glimmer’s gonna have a whole kid soon.” Not just a kid, a little girl, a fact that Clove had to hear from Glimmer multiple times a day. “It would arguably make more sense for her to move to One if we’re suggesting permanent moving..and you know she isn’t going to leave here.”

“Enobaria would never survive with a neighbor named Rhinestone.” 

Clove’s laugh is muffled against his chest, but he’s right. Splitting their time, like kids traveling between homes on holidays, was going to be their best bet. It didn’t make it any less funny, to imagine the mentor they all know and love spending half her time there.

Her laugh fades as her smile falls, and Clove can’t bring herself to meet his eyes. “I’m sorry I have to lay on the floor like this, I know it isn’t comfortable.”

“Clove..”

“I’m serious. This is just another new weakness, I guess. Just another thing Snow took from me.”

Cato’s hand slips off the skin of her back and Clove bites back a groan at the loss of warmth, before his hand holds the exposed side of her face. He doesn’t force her to look at him, simply strumming his thumb along her cheekbone. “Clove? I will bring the mattress down here, and we can sleep in front of this fireplace for the rest of Winter, hell, for the rest of our lives if it makes you feel even the slightest bit better. You aren’t weak, babe. I don’t even know if I could have survived what you did. You were tortured. And if this is how winter is going to go, this is how we’re going to survive it. Together.”

The composure she had tried so hard to maintain crumbles like the facade it is, and the gasping breath she takes startles Cato to the point that he has to look down at her.

“It hurts to breathe, Cato. My lungs hurt and my ribs hurt and it hurts to move and it hurts to bend my fingers. It’s like I'm frozen inside and it hurts.” Clove gasps out, burying her face firmly in the center of his chest. “I didn’t think i’d be in this much pain because of some fucking weather.”

Hurt. Pain. Neither words that Clove would ever admit to, not to anyone else in the world. To anyone but Cato, they made her a target, they made her vulnerable, and they made her weak. 

“I know, Clove. I know.” He admits, bringing his hand back down to her side, warming her up from the inside of her shirts. “I wish I could take it for you.”

I wish I could take it for you. 

What a gesture that is, in District Two, where pain makes you weak and vulnerable. To be willing to carry that burden, to take on that proverbial target. Only among District Two, would the admission of pain and the subsequent willingness to take it be such a marker of love. 

“I just feel like someone could take me out so easily and i’m so useless right now and-” 

“Noone’s coming after us. Noone’s going to take us out. And if they were, I think I’ve got it covered. I’m a Victor, too, you know.” Cato promises, bringing his lips down to kiss the top of her head, where she is nearly trying to burrow into his skin for the warmth he so readily provides. “I’ve got us, Clove. Pretend it’s my turn to keep watch in the games, okay? Sleep…relax..I’ve got us.”

“Am I gonna get a turn?” Clove nearly teases, and he can feel her lips quirking into a smile against his skin. 

He snorts, and somehow manages to pull her closer. “Once a snowman isn’t your biggest opponent, sure.” 

The pinch he feels on his side is enough for him to know that she was going to be just fine. 

[vynnyal]

Y'all, how do I be normal about hollow knight.

Anyways, here's the unofficial 4th installment of that series I started a while ago where I throw together a bunch of random hk theories into one post... this time ordered to make mildly more sense!

So the context here is this:

My friend came up with a cool oc and I was immediately obsessed with the idea. I explained everything relevant... err-- mostly relevant, anyways-- but I extrapolated on a few points here.

It got kinda bloated because I tried to tie-in some of my random tangents. The rest... are just gonna be at the end, lmao.

...

Basically, there are Gods in Hallownest. They mostly fall under the category of "Higher Beings", though not all Higher Beings are gods.

All of these gods are Gods specifically because they use dreams as their life force, which is directly tied to how powerful their influence can be.

The mother of Greenpath, Unn, is the epitome of a good-ol' classic Hollowknight god.

She IS Greenpath. The plantlife came from her and is likely a direct conduit of her power (greenpath lore tablet). The Mosskin Tribe themselves are her dream-children-- they either literally spawned from her or were merely formed in her image.

And now remember, the entirety of greenpath and queen's gardens were her domain. That's like 1/6th of Hallownest.

She was The Shit. And then, for reasons untold, she went to sleep. Though it's hard to pin down when it started, it's implied her slumber predated the Dreamers; Quirrel's dreamnail dialogue mentions her, likely as a memory from the times he was Monomon's apprentice, and even then she was just "something revered" sleeping in the waters.

Which is to say, when Mr Columbus waltzed in to pave roads through their lands (and when his wife laid claim to a decent chunk to be her personal playground), they likely didn't meet much resistance. From Unn herself, anyways. Which makes it all the more shocking that they didn't smite her image completely when her domain was so throughly invaded and remolded to PK's satisfaction.

He had, in his grasp, an entire tribe of people that followed *a different God than himself,* aka the worst thing you can be in the eyes of another God. People are dreams, and dreams are power. More worshippers= more power. If you're a God, you HAVE to actively be thought about by many people to survive. A forgotten God is a dead God. (This exact conflict was, in no small part, the beginning of the series of dominoes that led to Hallownest's downfall, albiet with a different God.)

That Unn herself was left relatively alone, despite this, is likely because Unn/the Mosskin Tribe gave juuust enough to avoid conflict while also keeping their "dream" distinct from PK's (meaning: continue to worship Unn and not PK). I can only imagine he allowed this because if he didn't, both Unn and her people would simply cease to be; the Mosskin needed Unn, and Unn needed them. That, and he was probably pretty busy dealing with the aforementioned other God that was... decidedly less submissive.

Either way, WL took Unn's land and pushed out her followers, inadvertently (or possibly purposefully) greatly diminishing Unn's power and influence. (It's possible this was the event that knocked her out, and she was merely too weak to oppose two entire Higher Beings to begin with.)

The other important character of note is Fierce Dryya. She was one of the Five Great Knights, and WL's personal guard.

After WL birthed and subsequently killed her children, she isolated herself in the depths of her Gardens, presumably "well-protected" from the fate the rest of the world faced.

There, Dryya held her last stand before a swarm of infected mantis Traitors who sought to remove WL from their territory. Sadly, WL doesn't even know she's dead, even though you have to step over her corpse to enter WL's cocoon.

It's hard to think about, but theres an equal chance that she fought off the Traitors for good... and that her death was entirely in vain. She is found next to the mound of Traitor corpses she undoubtly killed, but in the end, she died as well.

Implying that, before breathing her last, she managed to terrify them enough to never come back..

Or that she was just eventually worn down and killed, and the Traitors simply gave up when they couldn't get through WL's own protection.

....Which is to say the time between Dryya's death and events of the game is almost completely unknown!

...

Things I just couldn't fit in:

1, The name greenpath is just because PK put a bunch of roads in it, really. It likely had a different name before Mr Columbus came along.

2, Btw I wondered if there were any actual children in hk. Turns out, yeah, most bugs can propogate (lol), but the only ones referenced in the game that are not directly from a God are openly NOT worshiping ANY God. I'm talking the Mantis tribe, the Spider tribe, the Flukes, the mushroom clan, and weirdly enough, a specific spirit called Joni whose whole thing was being a heretic-- aka not only Not a worshiper of PK, but actively outcast and perhaps outlawed by PK's people.

*I'm disregarding Millybug. They're implied to be childish, but that's all we know.

Other notable characters that were at least a child at one point are Hornet, who was the child of Herrah and PK, and the Vessels, the product of the WL and PK. Grimmchild doesn't count as its not an actual bug, but a vessel created by the Nightmare Heart. The PK's Vessels are unique because they were originally independent, living creatures.

3, This talk about gods and such made me think about what happens after the game. Unn isn't dead, just actively dying because Miss Rad keeps stealing all her followers. She barely has enough energy to be like "hey kid, take this thing and remember me plz."

With both Miss Rad and PK gone, there's nothing stopping Unn's revival. Like, imagine Hallownest getting repopulated by the remaining tribes, returned to their natural glory. The only place left untouched being the city and the abyss-- forever monument to the horrors that nearly killed them all.

4, It just occurred to me that most of the real Godly gods in the game get cop-outs in the pantheons so you can't fight them. White lady just kinda peaced out, Unn's on the respirator, PK is fully snapped out of existence, the Lifeblood entity is chilling out in the basement, and... well I guess you are the void king by then so it's a bit of a moot point. NKG, THK, and Miss Rad are the only ones that're ready to throw down. Good for them!

5, The story of Isma is perplexing. It's implied the grove she died in is the source of the weird acid ravaging Hallownest, though it's unknown how or why. The wiki presumes this only affects the lower regions of the world, but I personally haven't found whatever supports this*. There's pipework lining the broken elevator pass between Ogrim and the Grove, of which is literally glowing with acid, so...

*there is one spirit in the Spirit Glade that mentions acid as a biological defense mechanism, so acid does exist in some capacity outside of this weird angry stuff.

Besides that, her dreamnail dialogue is "there's no time." Seriously? That's the most cliffhanger-y quote of the bunch, I can so clearly imagine team cherry being like "have fun! No we will not elaborate lol" before they spike the ball into our court.

In any case, while down this rabbit hole I have come to terms with the fact that Ogrim is still the best character in the game. He's literally the "I lie to myself :)" guy. All his friends are dead or missing. His lover drowned in 10 feet of acid. His idol the King was sent to superhell. Everyone else is a shambling husk. But he's still out here like "hey again, I realized you're not dead! Sorry about that, everyone else is so I got confused. Oh you saw my gf after pulling the lever that lowers the 10 feet of acid in her grove? Yeah she's super cool. Yeah no I can't go see her even though she's literally right over there, I got my, uh... oath. Haha. Good luck!"

6, While reading about Essence, it occurred to me that when you dreamnail a spirit, you don't actually kill them. You merely collect them. When the seer speaks to you about how much essence you have, she mentions she sees memories peering back at her. (1200 essence dialogue)

Most clearly don't want to be collected. They are at their final resting place, and desire to stay there, whether they're aware of their current state or not.

...buuut technically, TECHNICALLY, you aren't actually harming the spirits you dreamnail and can totally collect em' all to chill with you instead of lingering, listlessly, forever. You're just kinda rude for it. Also, none of the other spirits can tell what happened to them, so just dreamnail Revek too! He'll be fiiiine. :D right?

7, What really messes with my understanding of the timeline is WL's whole physical situation with what the blindness and such. She's the Higher Being, but within such a relatively short span of time, she has aged to the point of her body breaking down? More importantly, she's not immortal?? There are no mentions of the queen ever having any physical ailments, publically or privately, until you see it for yourself. Meaning that the worst of it happened after the Vessels were born and THK began their training. Perhaps the matter with the Vessels took more of a physical toll than originally assumed?

If we're assuming the pair hooked up after PK turned tiny, then you have to wonder just how old she was at the time. Judging by the rate at which she's aging now, she was likely pretty young. Frankly, I doubt it'd change much either way. She'd have that matter-of-fact, gung-ho demeanor at any age.

This is also why I specified that not all Higher Beings are bona-fide Gods. WL doesn't need the dreams of others, and judging by the weaver's seal she uses to protect her mind, doesn't want others to dream of her. And yet the Godseeker recognizes her as... something. (Third encounter)

So at least she's not just a really old tree. But she's also not a God like PK. She's a weird, third thing.

8, but I'm not letting go of her weird orb cocoon thing. What's that about?? What is it made of? Was it constructed by others and she was sealed within? Or did she somehow create it herself? The architecture seems to imply it's inorganic, but how did she get in there, then?

To top off the weirdness, there's the conveniently ghost-sized hole in the center of her carved face. So I'm leaning more towards "exaggerated metaphor for entering WL's mind" or "easy-to-read entry point for players to go to visit WL that isn't literally there in canon" and not "there's a big glowing hole in this literal rock that inexplicably leads to a tunnel* that then leads to a room very obviously bigger than what's seen from the outside."

There's no way, dude.

I'm leaning more towards there being a large structure she could walk into, that was then barricaded to fully seal her within. The knight, being so small, managed to get their way in through some sort of tunnel.

But then something happened to the plan and the outside of the structure turned into whatever Ari thought that orb was supposed to be.

*Although, I do like the interpretation that the tunnel is actually Ghost slowly making their way through her roots to meet her.

[cinamun]

WEEEELLLLPPPPP…..she tried to clear it up in the subsequent pic but after that kiss we had a conversation about passion making the real truth come out…

Anyway, I feel like Indya is about to sit Darren down and agree with him 100% that Rah is not the best thing for Dira rn. They both have a lot of healing to do after this situation and it should be done separately. But she’s also going to hit him with that “remember when I had to crack you with that damn baseball bat because you couldn’t keep your hands to yourself?” And while I feel Rah’s actions should not be excused at all whether his intent was harm to Dira or not (can’t speak on his intent for Ryker but harm seems to be it), I think that conversation would give Darren a little more perspective and have him go talk to his daughter about the mental abuse and trauma she just endured. Also small side note, I do kinda feel bad that the focus keeps landing on the busted lip more so when the situation gets brought up because that’s the one thing that actually was an accident and he was just trying to move her so the gun wouldn’t go off and didn’t intentionally hurt her, a busted lip is a busted lip either way though so on the other hand I get it. Can’t say you meant no harm and expect people to believe you when you literally inflicted harm on both parties. BUT, and I could be wrong…the busted lip may be the focus because it seems to me that Hope may be the only one that somewhat knows about the gun (Dira soft confirmed but never said yes of no) because neither Indya nor Darren mentioned it and I feel like Rah would have been baked into a pie before Dira even got to the garage if that detail made it into the conversation.

The Ratchet Reading Room™ is officially open y'all.

All of what you said is valid AND makes total sense. There is a growing sentiment that Indya would be a lot more understanding than Darren and its certainly looking like it, but with one caveat: do they know about the gun!!!

So here's what we know: Apparently Rah is in the garage telling Darren everything after requesting to come clean with the help of his new therapist, The Good Doc™. Darren asks TGD if that's everything to which TGD replies "as far as I know". Which means, Rah did all the talking and told Darren what he'd already told TGD. But if Rah included the gun part, wouldn't Darren have sent him to the morgue immediately?

Idk y'all.... I don't think the gun came up.....

[vyntilador]

Hi It's me from the Tiktok,I Have this Headcanon On Tot Boys Being a Dad Like I'm Sure Artem is gonna Spoil His Children ESPECIALLY Marius Like The moment he hears His Child Mumbling About "Wow This Kitty plushie looks cute" and He be Like "Then Get em" he might Also Buy the Whole Store(I wish a had a marius in my life) AND for Luke,Like i think he's gonna be A Chill Dad yk Like Setting a prank together with his child and do cute Stuff y'all Mostly go out to Have a Family Bonding Since Luke is Busy being a Detective (a hot One) and lastly Vyn i think He's the Type of that Who Enjoy Reading his Children a Story When it's Bedtime and he's the type to also Gossip with his Children like "Dad there's this Kid-" and he go like "C'mere Tell me all about Ur school and stuff" LIKE ISN'T CUTEEE and While Us Just Watching Them Interact and Smiling like an Idiot, anyways This is just What i had in mind ofc ur free to Say no to my Idea But Yeah That's All,Hope you have a good Rest!🖤

Father, May I?

NXX boys as dads</333

————————————

Genre: fluff ofc but I'm adding angst parts after every story bcs it's my specialty duhh(I WAS BORED SORRYYY)

A/N: BESTIE UR A GENIUS THIS IS RLLY CUTE TOO😭😭😭 IMMA HAVE A FIELD DAY WITH THIS ONE TYVM SRY IF I REPLY TOO LATE SCHEDULES PRETTY TIGHT</333 also i might make this into 2 parts bcs it might take long idk depends if I finish this quickly!! Sorry for the wait<3

Vyn Richter

This man is literally A DUKE of a kingdom LITERALLY LOOK INTO MY EYES AND TELL ME HE WONT GO ALL OUT FOR HIS PRINCESS</333

He doesn't rlly flex it often in the stories (except when he literally showed to their faces that only he had an invitation to that one Pluto cruise ship lmao

Speaking of cruise ships, he'd definitely be renting/buying a whole cruise ship for your daughter's birthday or if she's not into those, he'll arrange for her birthday party in the ballroom in their castle/family mansion in Svart

Honestly, he never wanted to ever come back to Svart if it wasn't for his little princess</33

You told her a bedtime story saying that her dad is a king and you're actually a queen which makes your daughter a princess

The story was supposed to make her sleepy but she ended up getting too excited and literally begging her father(Vyn) if they can come to their castle (he didn't agree at first, hesitant onto how the people of Svart and most importantly, his father woulf react but who cares his child wanted to go there so why not🙄)

Yeah with that said, after that, he just went on a spoiling spree on his daughter but he won't overdo it ofc🤷‍♀️ He doesn't want her to turn into someone condescending and just a bad person as a whole and with that kind of raising technique of his, she grows up into such a sweet girl and he sometimes can't help but smile stupidly with how his daughter resembles her mom so much 😭

Angst part

Ok so me and a friend of mine had this hc where like I forgot most of it but it was just how if Vyn decides to leave you and come back to Svart (he doesn't know that you have a child together so u ended up raising your daughter alone)

Can you imagine the shock on his face when he passes by the house he used to live with you in Stellis, only to see you playing in the rose filled garden with a little girl

You turn around to the sound of your name being called, hesitant but you still did it as you recognized his voice. He stood in front of you in formal attire, looking down on you with a soft glimmer in his eyes, seemingly shocked and feeling guilty

He asks you why you didn't tell him about your daughter but you immediately interrupted him saying that he never gave you a chance to speak

If you let him in your lives again, he'll make sure that his daughter lives the best life, guilty with how he almost made her live the same childhood as him</3

But even after the second chance you gave him, you desperately picked up the broken pieces of your heart from the ground as you tear up at the sight of the father of your children and the King of Svart, Vyn, being wedded to a woman on equal footing as him.

Artem Wing

Mkay so first of all, uhm TWINS?? Lets say it's a boy and a girl. Well the girl resembles you in EVERY way possible. She's stubborn asf but determined with whatever she puts her mind into. She sometimes pushes his brother into doing stuff he loves like inspiring him yk??

Her brother tho, she's like Artem lmao💀 He's usually calm and silent in a corner somewhere doing arts and crafts while his sister is in the middle of the room singing twinkle twinkle little stars from the bottom of her heart

You'd think that the sister would be the protector between the two of em but it's actually your son. He's kinda timid and shy but he won't tolerate any unjust actions towards his dear sister</3 (You nudge Artem and chuckle at how much your son resembled your husband</33)

When it comes to what your children want, like toys, clothes etc, I wouldn't say that he'll buy anything they want (that's a lie he actually buys them whatever they want when you're not within the vicinity lmao)

It usually goes like this, your daughter is asking Artem to buy both of em something because their friends have it and he'll usually refuse when you're there but the moment you go out to buy groceries, you'd just end up dropping the bags of grocery you had with you the moment you come home as you lay your eyes on the newly bought bikes that looks expensive asf in front of your home LMAOOOO

Yall remember that one personal story where he spent millions for us during the investigation?? He'd def do that to you and your children

They aren't even born yet and he's already having your house renovated for their rooms, already buying shit ton of toys, going to the mall ONLY for food and suddenly, hes calling you over to ask if this little baby onesie would look cute on your children</3

There is no Angst part. I mean, ITS LITERALLY ARTEM WING. HES THE GREENEST OF THE GREEN FLAGS MY BOY HAS NO FLAWS.

Luke Pearce

Also twins ngl. Energetic ones at that

Twin girls?? Absolutely (do yall know the fanarts of Lukerosa with this daughter named xiaxia😭😭😭)

Well lets just pretend theres two xiaxia's here

Anyway, he's like those uncle/grandmas that give you chocolate or money in secret when your parents aren't looking

Like maybe before you all eat dinner, daughter 1 is already hungry and is sulking bcs you didnt let her have a bite of the ice cream and here comes papa Luke to the rescue, passing her a piece of chocolate discreetly 😭

Gives your daughters piggy back rides especially when going out to family night outs or when just going to the park to have a little picnic. Or at weekend nights when you're both not working, you're all in the living room laughing softly at the 3 of em seeing them dance in the middle of the room to some children's music

OH AND ARRON IS DEFINITELY SUCH A CUTE UNCLE TO THEM OMGGG hes giving them plushies, money...toy guns..(as soon as Luke found out about it, he's immediately banned from coming over lmao/j)

Hes vv soft to his princesses but he isn't too soft that he gives them everything. I'm not rlly sure but I think he'd like practice disciple with wanting stuff like, 'Do you want the chocolate or the animal plushie? If you get the chocolate, it wouldn't last very long but if you get the plushie, you'll have it forever!'

Goes to your childhood home sometimes to hang out in the attic where you and Luke used to play in and introduces your girls to Sherlock Holmes</3

(DRESSES THEM UP AS JOHN WATSON N SHERLOCK HOLMES😭😭😭😭)

Just the best dad overall tbh

Angst part<333

He was very hesitant with having children with you with the thing abt his life and his line of work but the moment that he sees the smile on your face slowly dissipate and turn into a look of gloom, he feels guilty for even hesitating for a moment and immediately hugs you

He knows he won't be around for a while so even if he really wants to give your children proper discipline, there are moments where he just spoils them to their hearts content

Sometimes at night, he sits alone in the balcony of your own home and he smiles softly knowing that you now have little angels to look after you once the time comes.

The burden of all of these dawns on him tho. Like, what would your daughters feel like when they realize their dad's gone? What if his work as a spy results in his family getting hurt? Or worse, what if one of them gets pulled into the NXX stuff?

There are times where guilt and despair overwhelms him so pls go easy on him amd always give him cuddles<33

Your touch used to bring him comfort but why is it that when you brushed your hand against his face to wipe his tears away as you laid half conscious in his arms, it brought an overwhelming sense of fear and guilt?

He hugs your body closer to him as tears fell continously from his face, hurting at how his princesses will probably have to grow up without parents.

Marius von Hagen

He spoils them. No negotiations, no questions asked.

He has a son too btw!! (his son hates him lmao)

Your son hates it when his dad hogs or steals all your attention which then ends up having a mini Marius sulking and hugging your legs asking you with a pout if you love Marius more than him LMAOOOO

I forgot where I read this but I think its the personal story???? idk i forgot Where the cat sneaks in to his home and just hates him overall

Your son would def wanna keep the cat and claim that the cat is now his "accomplice"

Yea but with all that aside, Marius is definitely soft for his son</333 He inherited everything of his dad but he has your eyes which makes him more vulnerable to puppy dog eyes of your son when he asks his dad to get him something

He's well aware of his footing in society so he knows how to stand up to himself well. Or if paparazzi surrounds you, poor baby would scream at them and tell them how he hates them for making his mom(you) have a hard time

Surprisingly, the reporters feel bad and start making way for the three of you to go home

Marius is definitely proud of him for standing up for himself and his mom. Speaking of that, he's another sucker for his kid when you're away. You could literally blink and the moment you open your eyes again, there's suddenly a mountain of toys around u lmao

Angst part

Marius is also very aware of how dangerous it is to live in front of the camera and being exposed to the judging eyes of the public so he tries his absolute best to keep you both safe. Including with scandals, where it's said that PAX CEO Marius von Hagen is having an affair with someone else while having a family of his own. His heart breaks into a million pieces as he looks down on his son thats literally crying and hitting his leg with little to no force because of how hard he was crying.

Hes cursing his own dad on why he has the guts to make u cry like that. His last straw snaps as tears swell into his own eyes as he bends down to pick up your crying son and he hugs him tightly.

He considered leaving PAX and having someone else run it seeing how bad of an effect it left to his family but you begged him to stay there seeing how important the company is but what you didnt expect was that he'll someday put his company first before his family.

A/N:I think i kept turning away from the og plot im so sorry😭😭😭 i made this at 12 last night bcs i couldnt sleep so m sorry if it does look too good💀💀

I also just went with it and did all of em lmao I WAS ALSO HUNGRY WHILE MAKING THIS SO THATS PROLLY WHY I WAS STRAYIMG FROM THE PLOT LMAOOOOO

[withacapitalp]

Masterlist/About Me

Since there's almost 300 of you now....how tf did that happen....anyway! I'm Liam here's all the stranger things fics I've written. I'll add my headcanons when I'm not feeling minority lazy lol Under a read more because I appreciate y'all's time lmaooo anyways!! Feel free to send me prompts and thoughts and general things because I love hearing from the people who follow me!!! If you just want to look for a tag it's under "Liam writes"

A New Perspective- Series primarily told from Wayne's perspective with him watching Steve interact with the kids and deciding the kid is actually not as bad as he thought. Steddie endgame

A Father By Any Other Name- Wayne Munson didn't hate Steve Harrington. He just really, really, really, didn't like him. A conversation he witnesses between Steve and Dustin might just start to change that though.

Scrapes, Sprains, and Headaches- When Lucas gets hurt learning how to skateboard, Wayne Munson gets another glimpse into how wrong he might be about Steve Harrington. He also is starting to see the beginnings of what might be a big big problem.

Just a Little Bit of Truth- Wayne goes to Steve's house, gets a little closer to the truth, and definitely needs to have a chat with his nephew.

Awkward Conversations- After his conversation with Jim, there's nothing Wayne wants more than to go home and finally talk with Eddie about everything that had happened. He decides to stay to the end of the party, which turns out to be both a frustrating and illuminating option. Featuring Murray Bauman being Murray Bauman, Steve being an angel of epic proportions, and Wayne and Eddie finally talking everything out.

Who Can Understand?- While everyone else goes to one of Eddie's shows, Wayne and Steve have a little talk.

Well I've Been Afraid of Changin'- Eddie likes Steve. Steve likes Eddie. It should be so simple at this point. But it's really, really, not. (CURRENTLY A WIP)

Days, Weeks, Months- Takes place immediately following S1 Steve's perspective on falling in love and dealing with the aftermath of whatever the fuck just happened. Stoncy Endgame

The Day After- The morning after Steve helps to destroy a demon who had been trying to kill Jonathan Byers and Nancy Wheeler, he goes to school. He didn't want to go. He didn't know why he did it. He just went. It was startling to see how the rest of the world didn't change.

The Weeks After- Steve loves Nancy. It's safe and it's good. It's normal. Steve knows he wants to spend the rest of his life with her. He knows he wants to buy her a house, wants to watch her age gracefully into the gorgeous woman he can see her becoming. Steve knows that he has an overwhelming urge to protect her, to keep Nancy safe from the very real danger they all know exists out in the world, even if she's usually the one protecting him. Steve just also wants all of that with Jonathan too. But that’s not inherently wrong. It doesn’t have to be. He wished he could believe that.

Stranger Things Daily Drabble- A daily prompt fill of just about anything Multiship like literally pretty much everything.

House and Home- Three weeks after getting kicked out of his parent's house, Eddie brings Steve to a decrepit house on the edge of Hawkins to show him how much he loves him Expanded from STDD prompt!

Empty/Full- Chrissy Cunningham is a Good Girl. She gets perfect grades, has the perfect boyfriend, and does exactly as she's told. She's doing everything she should, and she's utterly miserable. She just wants something to help her sleep. Just a little extra to get rid of all of the voices in her head and the pain in her stomach. Eddie Munson has a better plan. HELLCHEER

[always-andromeda]

Love Me On My Bad Days | Timothy Klitz x fem!Reader

Timothy Klitz x fem!Reader

Word Count | 1,364

Author’s Note | just gonna say rn this one is heavily dedicated to soph (@lost-in-sokovia) because I know how much she loves klitzy and I’ve been wanting to write something like this for a while. and bc I know she’s having a hard time rn and I wanna use my writing powers for good lol. to soph: I love ya so much and I hope you like this little surprise! send some love her way! and check up on your friends!!! please be kind to yourselves, friends. love y'all!!

Warnings | descriptions of depression, but overall a big fluffy comfort blurb!

The second he got to school, Timothy Klitz felt your absence. With that, the whole day seemed oddly empty without you by his side. Even though he still convinces himself that he’s just a friend to you, he hopes one day he'll mean more to you. For now, Eli and Matt tease him when he even dares to acknowledge you not being there.

“Have you guys seen Y/N at all today?” he asks nonchalantly during lunch.

Eli picks at his turkey sandwich in front of him and taunts, "Why? Were you finally gonna man up and kiss her?"

"No, where did you get that idea?" Klitz squints incredulously at him and glances at Matt for backup.

Of course Matt has to be a backstabber. "I don't know, man, maybe it's how you talk about her literally all of the time."

Klitz's voice got high pitched, immediately defensive, "I don't talk about her all the time!" Even he, himself, didn't believe that answer. Yeah, he talks about you...a lot. 

Eli and Matt roll their eyes every time Klitz interjects a conversation with something like, “Oh, Y/N likes that song too!” or “Y/N told me she did that once.” It might be cute if he didn’t clam up so pathetically when you’re actually around. He can try his best to be normal, but his leg still shakes when you sit next to him and he’s not nearly as cool and collected as he’d like to be.

Klitz, being the gentleman (and nerd) he is, goes around to all of your teachers as soon as the final bell rings, asking each of them if he could take whatever homework you missed over to you. They all agreed and each gave him pages upon pages of new work that he knew you'd inevitably be swamped by.

But that's okay; it would give him more of an excuse to come over later on in the week so he could help you with whatever you were struggling on. He was a ball of sparking nerves as he drove to your house after school.

There was a familiarity in isolation. You were comfortably numb, nestled into the corner of the living room couch and watching reruns of some old sitcom. The continuous stream of stale content had you staring, eyes glazed over and barely paying attention. You almost didn't notice when the doorbell rang; it almost blended into the sounds coming from the TV. You didn't get up and check it until it rang a second time about a minute later, draping your blanket around your shoulders.

Who else would be at your door besides your sweetest friend, Timothy Klitz? Tucked into the curve of his elbow and pressed against the chest of his striped button up was a stack of papers about an inch thick.

"I brought your homework." He holds the papers out awkwardly before cracking a toothy grin.

"Oh, thanks, Klitzy. You really didn't have to do that though." You return the smile through pursed lips. You were usually happy to see him, but in that moment, being around people was a bit overwhelming.

Klitz can't help but ramble. It got especially bad when you called him by that silly little nickname. "It's totally fine, I was driving through your neighborhood anyway…sooo..." You sniff then and that's when he notices the missing telltale crinkles by your eyes and the bags underneath them. "Are you sick or something?"

"Or something. I'm just...having a bad day." you say, though you know well enough that it's more than just a bad day. You sigh and fold your arms over your chest. You weren't exactly dressed to be seeing people in the same pajamas you woke up in: some plaid bottoms and a thin, threadbare t-shirt that swallowed your figure.

Klitz tilts his head before asking, "I could keep you company. If that's okay with you!" he tacks on quickly, trying not to sound too eager.

For some reason, you can't say no to him. Not when he's this sweet and you're feeling this alone. Besides, you know by now that just avoiding your friends will only make it easier for your brain to tell you that they all hate you.

"Sure, that sounds okay." you agree gently and move aside, allowing Klitz to enter. Closing the door behind him, you realize that you've never let anyone in when things got bad. You're quite used to taking care of it yourself and reemerging from the dark after working through it. But already, Klitz was acting as your flashlight, making you want to giggle even though he wasn't trying to be funny in the slightest.

His tall, gangly frame stood awkwardly in your living room as he tried to figure out what to do with himself. Should he take his shoes off? Should he sit with you and watch TV? Should he try asking if you're sick again? The energy of the room is off, he can tell. But he has no clue how to approach you. Luckily, you do it for him.

"It was really nice of you to bring my stuff over." you say before returning to your spot on the couch.

"It's really no big deal. I'd do anything for you." Klitz froze, instantly realizing how intense that last part sounded.

"Anything?" this time you genuinely smile. It's small but it's the warmest you've felt all day.

Klitz breathes once before confirming, "Yeah...anything." You pat the space next to you on the couch and like a golden retriever, Klitz is by your side.

After a few more seconds of waiting for you to say something, he can't help but pry, "Why did you stay home today?"

You stare at the ceiling for a beat, contemplating how to tell him, "Do you ever just wake up sometimes and everything feels...wrong? Like you could literally be having the best day ever but your head just...isn't in it?"

Klitz wasn't sure if he'd ever felt that way. He shakes his head back and forth, his shaggy hair brushing against his shoulders slightly.

You continue explaining, "Well, that happens to me a lot. Usually I just deal with it and move on but today was different. Maybe I'm just tired I guess." You had slept in way too long that morning, though your body was nowhere near exhausted. Before leaving for work, your mother said she'd called the school and told them you were sick. You were grateful that your parents were so understanding about your mental health. But with them working so much, it was hard getting physical support.

Though Klitz isn't quite sure he understands, he knows he wants to be there. He doesn't expect you to be bubbly at all times but it breaks his heart seeing someone he loves so burnt out. That faded look on your face makes him want to do everything in his power to get you feeling comfortable.

"If you want, I could just sit here with you. We don't have to talk or anything."

"That sounds really good." you say softly, already feeling tears prick at your lash line. You don't really think about it before sliding closer into Klitz's side and resting your cheek against his shoulder. You take the blanket from your own shoulders and drape it over both of your laps. Folding your legs up next to you on the couch and leaning into his touch, you feel like you could fall asleep all over again with the cozy heat of his body. Instead you focus your attention on the canned laughter and humorous dialogue of your TV show and the tranquility that has fallen over you and him.

Though your actions make him tense up slightly, he knows now isn't the moment to be getting butterflies. Instead, his heart swells up with a sense of pride knowing that you trust him enough to let him in even a little bit. He puts his arm around you and hopes that it communicates all that you need to know; that he'll be there to help you get through any and all of your bad days.

[yinyangp]

Vocaloid 6 Voicebank Thoughts

Less formal than a "review" but I wanted to share my thoughts on the V6 banks I have and have used. Ngl it's primarily positive, and y'all may have noticed I tend to use V6 more than I use SynthV just because I have more fun with Vocaloid. These are more or less gonna be in order by when I used them. I also might add to this post if/when I acquire new banks. Anyways here goes:

Allen

I really enjoy the tone of his bank, it's a sort of RnB/trap/rap-esque voice and that's not common in vocal synths so I appreciate it

English is really clear and the Japanese accent is also passable - mandarin isn't so good but I also barely use mandarin so

Goes falsetto when he goes high which in the right song goes hard

Probably my favorite of the four "default" banks

Sarah

A nice, solid, more mature sounding voice with is always welcome imo

Dunno if I've ever finished a whole song with her in english but I like her in Japanese just as much tbh

Once again, the mandarin needs work. I'm wondering if that's not just all of the V6 banks that were recorded for english

Unfortunately her voice tends to lose power in the higher range which makes her hard to use sometimes (but, most AI banks, not even just vocaloid ones, also have this issue.)

Tied with Haruka for second favorite default bank

Haruka

She kinda leans into the "cute little girl" voicetype but, it's still unique and has a rich quality to it

Once again I've never used her in full for english but I can't complain about her english really, I just have other banks I'd rather use for english??

Her mandarin is pretty good actually! I've noticed banks recorded for japanese handle mandarin better.

She also loses power when she goes high but it's less noticeable than with Sarah, since Haruka's less powerful to begin with

As stated previously, she's tied with Sarah for second place in the "default bank" category

Akito

So mid it hurts

Seriously he's not bad but he is the most Generic Male Voice on the market

Literally just "the Kaito we have at home"

I almost forgot he even existed and went straight to the next vocal on my list before realizing my mistake

I pretty much only ever use him for backing vocals, like octave down harmonies that are out of the main singer's range

Gumi AI

Gumi is love, Gumi is life,

Far higher quality than any of the default banks, like not even in the same league. Literally she's better in every conceivable way

The english accent is a little worse than the V3 english bank but by far more natural sounding, so it makes up the difference

Her mandarin is decent. Not much else to say, and I think Haruka's might be a little bit better???

Pretty much the only bad thing is that once again, the bank loses power in the higher register and that's hard to compensate for.

Regardless, easily my favorite voice for the engine. Period. Every time I tune her I have a blast.

Fuiro

I bought her while she was on sale and she was worth every penny

Seriously she sounds like a youtaite and I love love love her mature warm tone

Her english is also very clear and natural sounding. I've used her more in english than in japanese (which is funny since she was recorded for JPN lol)

In general, she feels more expressive than the others because her tone varies a lot depending on pitch

With that said, her range feels a lot more limited - she switches into falsetto almost immediately upon hitting C4 (C5 in UTAU) but she also can't go too far below C3 (C4 in UTAU) without starting to sound robotic

Even so, she's probably my second favorite V6 bank after Gumi

Una (Spicy)

Finally finally finally a voicebank that doesn't lose the powerful tone in the upper register

Her english is good but it's the only one where I've had to use extensive phoneme editing like you would in a V3/V4 non-native bank

Sometimes the english phonemes sound a little weird, especially [e], [I], and [V]

Still, it's the Una Spicy tone we all know and love

The styles Una comes with kinda suck actually, Gumi and Fuiro both had style presets that make them sound great but idk what's up with Una's

I still love her tho, especially having a powerful vocal that can also go high and stay powerful

Una (Sugar)

Soft, but still has Una's solid, cutesy tone

English is a bit better than Spicy's but still not great (what happened here? the others cross language synth just fine)

The Sugar styles are also better than Spicy's styles but still not great (again not sure what happened there)

Still, the tone is great and it's very fun to tune

DISCLAIMER: I literally got Una's banks yesterday so my opinions on them are not fully formed.