#she’ll text me and obviously I do not answer because I am. unconscious

[lesbiansanemi]

I do not know why I bother trying to go to bed early cuz every single time I have done it my roommate has deliberately woken me up usually for something fucking stupid

[letstalkaboutsebbaby]

Related Activities - Chapter 4

The district has a new attorney and Marshall is going to learn the hard way that he should have acted sooner in pursuing his passion for Caroline.

Pairing: Andy Barber x OFC (Caroline Kline) / Walter Marshall x OFC (Caroline Kline)

Author: Deb @letstalkaboutsebbaby / @letswriteaboutsebbaby

Rating: Mature

Warnings: crime talk, smut (hi @klaine-92 - it's starting!)

Walter Marshal is a man that has little to no time to lose with useless things. His house lack decoration because he sees no need for them. A couple of frames with pictures of his daughter, some cushions that he didn’t know were uncomfortable when he bought them, and a painting in his bedroom. He has few friends - his brother and a couple of guys whom he grew up with - fewer reasons to trust new people, but he trusts Caroline. He likes her, he wants her more than he cares to admit to himself, not really confident in his relationship skills.

One of the things he needs the most is the only thing she can’t ever give him - silence. She’s always with something to talk about, a view over some case, a question about his past experiences, or a song to softly sing when she knows he’s not wanting to talk. Marshall feels like he can listen to her singing the whole discography of the Pretenders before he’ll get enough of her voice.

Waking up early after a hard day, he stays in bed contemplating his next steps to make sure she’ll understand he needs time cause he can’t start a relationship while worrying about the cases they have now. Obviously, they’ll always have to work and it’ll always have a lot of shit to deal with but at the moment it’s too time-consuming and he wants to start a relationship with the possibility to really give her time and attention. Looking at his phone, a text gives him hope that things will go as planned: Only pick me up if you bring hot chocolate with vanilla cream. It’s the closest thing to “I’ll forget you’ve been so dumb” he will get and since his apology hasn’t been so eloquent either, he’s fine with it.

After half an hour and bringing a big cup of her favorite drink, he picks her up at her apartment. From the driver’s window, he can see the pale rose curtain on her room reminding him of how contrastive their houses are; her full of cute decor items, different patterns on the walls, soft rugs, mirrors and candles everywhere. If it wasn’t Carol he would’ve said the person spent a lot of time decorating the place, but somehow it feels effortless for her. It’s like anything he finds difficult is incredibly natural for her.

As she climbs in the car, Marshal smiles at her and she smiles back, quickly reaching for her drink. He stops her hand midways and holds it between his. “Can you at least say good morning?”

“Good morning, big guy. You look better”

“I am. Look, Car...I’m not in the right mind to...to do anything other than find these fuckers. Let’s look forward to that week off, can we?” His big fingers caressing her palms and bringing butterflies to her stomach. As handsome and sweet as Andy is, her attraction to Marshall has been something growing since day one and her heart is more invested than she would like. The way he calls her ‘Car’ only adding to the entire sexiness of him.

“So let’s find these fuckers...Give my hands back, I need to drink and you need to drive.” she teases. “Any new clue?”

“No, some test results will be ready today tough, so I guess we’ll at least have something to go after. Yours?”

“Nothing either, I was just talking to Andy last night and he thinks the same modus operandi was being investigated in Massachusetts. He’ll bring the files today so I can give a look before interviewing the guy again.”

The mention of a night talk with Andy bothers Marshall and he can’t really pay attention to anything Carol says after it and she notices the change in his behavior but decides not to ask the reason.

Shortly after they get to the station, each working on their own cases, Andy gets there for the suspect interview, files ready for her to analyze.

“Hey, that’s for me?” Caroline points with a smile when she sees him.

“I believe it’ll cost you something” he replies, sitting by her desk.

“I’m ready to pay for it. What’s the price?” she plays along.

“Dinner tonight.”

“Done. Pass me the files, Sir.”

The friendly chat is something she really likes about him. A bit of flirting doesn’t hurt, right? Caroline reads the info and adds sticky notes to some of the papers while Andy talks to one of the cops. When the suspect is in the interrogation room, she calls Andy to go along with her.

“You go ahead, I’ll watch by the glass” he responds.

“You don’t want to get in?”

“Go on...I trust you, I’ll be there if you think a different approach it’s required.”

Once she’s there, with a bust in her confidence after Andy’s speech, the suspect is clearly trembling as she makes the questions but answers everything as determined by his lawyer - even though a peeved tone is always present. In the next room, Andy is watching the interrogation when Marshall enters to do the same, just as the suspect changes the subject to the previous encounter with the detectives.

“Were’s your bodyguard, Miss? Not going to intimidate me today?”

“I just need the answers, I don’t think you need to be intimidated in order to give me the truth. You’re smart enough to know there’s only one way not to be sentenced to death in a case like this and it starts with giving me information” she states.

“Are you fucking him?” the suspect challenges as his lawyer tries to make him behave. “You look like a good fuck”

The suspect enrages Marshall and he’s ready to go inside and put him in his place, but Andy stops him with a hand in his arm.

“You can’t really blame him” Andy calmly says.

“What the fuck do you mean?” Marshall verbalizes with no calm at all.

“The way you act...he knows you’re here and all he wants is for you to enter that room and give his lawyer a reason to ask for a transference.” He asserts the situation, stopping Marshall from ruining Caroline’s work.

“I better go” The detective mutter.

“Don’t worry, I got her” Andy claims, much to Marshall’s displeasure.

When the interrogation ends Caroline meets Andy to deliberate for some time. Eventually, he went back to his office, promising to pick her up at the end of the day, both concentrating on work before the time for a new date came around. They decide to have dinner at hers, dismissing the idea of going home to get ready for a formal event - buying some take-out from an Italian place she likes and finding comfort at her floor once again.

“This is delicious” he declares, the pleasure clear on his face.”Can we do this every night? I want to try out all of their dishes.”

“It’s so yummy, right? I can’t have it every night though, I would end up in the worst shape.” Caroline says kiddin’, trying to imagine if he really wants to spend more time with her, and for what reasons.

“I find it very hard to believe you could get into a bad shape, babe, you’re gorgeous.”

A bit abashed by his comment, she smiles shyly and drinks a gulp of wine. “Well, in this case…we can do this sometimes before you get tired.”

“If I get tired we can change to japanese food, or mexican…”

“I was talking about the company”

“No sense. I might get tired of air before this happens.” He smiles and gets closer to her, an arm inviting her to lean on him. “You’re like...you know the feeling when you’re little and you know a Christmas present is waiting for you downstairs?” her head resting on his shoulder turns up to look at him.

“Yeah” she whispers back, looking deeply into his baby blue eyes. “I’m not sure the wrappings would be more interesting than the actual prize…” she tries to jest, but he holds her face, his thumb pressing over her lips. The way he looks at her gives no space for misinterpretations and the butterflies in her belly are very hard to ignore.

“If you agree to a hundred dinners more I can try to find out…” Andy’s low timbre functioning as a poison that keeps her weak - no reason to leave his arms, no desire to be anywhere else but in his presence.

“A hundred?” she softly asks.

“Just to start…” his lips softly touching hers before he kisses her. “You deserve better, you know?” She wasn’t sure what he means...deserve better than what? But his lips are on hers again before she can think further about it, both of them getting lost in sweet and deep kisses. Caroline wasn’t aware of the time, only able to feel Andy and the desire he evokes; not even the fact that they’re now lying on the couch seems to register in her mind, just his scent and the weight of his body over hers. Resting his forehead on hers, Andy whispers in the most enticing way “I’ll be what you need, sweetie. Everything you need.” while his hands expertly unbutton her jeans.

That was a completely different end to her night… she’s spent months dreaming about finishing her day in this same position with Marshall but it didn’t feel wrong to be with Andy - he’s attentive and attractive, very easy on the eyes - anyone would love to have him and she’s not about to lose this guy waiting for someone that never gave her anything more than a promise of a week off together. “We should take this to the bedroom”.

“Shhh...just relax.” He before taking her pants off and lying between her legs, positioning them around his waist; he slowly slides an arm to hold her neck as she stares at his eyes, entranced by how hot he looks at this moment. “Choose me, babe. Just tell me you want me.”

She can feel how hard he is through his pants and nods unconsciously “I want you, Andy.”

He tries hard not to lose control, wanting to watch her surrender, to see her gradually becoming his. “I want you too...so much” he starts moving his hips, rubbing his covered hard-on over her panties, a hand moving to grip her butt, helping her to grind against him “You look so beautiful...take what you need to feel good, babe”.

The friction on her clit driving her wild, making her squirm and cling to him. “Andy, please.”

“You have no idea how much I want to fuck you right now...to take these clothes off and slide into you…” as he declares all he wants to do to her, she keeps grinding and kissing his jaw as if he’s going to disappear. “So fucking cute” Andy sits and brings her body with him, finding the view of her straddling his thighs the most erotic sight ever. He touches her tits through the shirt and holds her as she rides him. Caroline wants him to lose control, but all she accomplishes is to get closer to cumming, so she hugs him and lets herself go listening to his sweet praise of her.

With her body still trembling she opens her eyes to look at his proud face. “Stay.”

“I can’t. I need you to have a good night of sleep and think about what you want...then tomorrow you’ll text me let me know if you want another date.”

“A third date.”

“Yeah”

“I already know the answer”

“I’ll believe you when you’re not looking like you want to fuck so much” he jokes, standing up and putting her on the couch, adjusting his pants as much as possible with his cock still hard.

She stands up and slides her arms around his neck, bringing Andy close to kiss him once more. “I’ll text you tomorrow.”

Grabbing her hand, he takes his jacket from the other couch and walks to the door, stopping with a hand in the handle “I’ll be waiting. Have a good night, Car.” he gives her a light peck before leaving her house. She shivers when she hears him calling her ‘Car’ the exact same way Marshall does. She’s so fucked.

[baekhypnotized]

☆— [two]

summary: Baekhyun is just a man who doesn’t believe in romance as much as Byul, who is trying to give herself to him. But day by day, he will soon realize that her fleeting actions are breaking down his cold-hearted brick wall, no matter if it takes her a million years.

warning(s): -

word count: 2.7k+

author’s note: second chapter is here!!! i hope there’s people who would like this fic like i do :( feedback is much appreciated so please leave your thoughts regarding this fic!! to anyone who would like to be tagged in the next chapter, please let me know too :)

tag list: @baestelcolor​

<<[prev] || [next]>>

Throughout the first class, I couldn’t bring myself to focus on the lesson as my eyes unconsciously land on him. Why on Earth does he need to sit at the very front seat? He didn't even bother introducing himself when he enters the lecture hall; simply ignoring the lecturer like he has all the power in the world to be rude to her. But watching as he interacts with the girl sitting beside him, I have a feeling they must have been close to each other. Friends? Lovers? I can hear hushes coming from the two of them as he leans close to her, watching as he makes her giggle so loud although it doesn't seem like she is trying to stifle it down. Almost the entire class glanced at their direction, probably wondering what's with the two people in front being disrespectful in the middle of a lesson. 

When our one and only class ends, we start to pack our stuff and get ready to leave the university. 

“Do you want to join us for lunch at the Seoul Diner?” Soomin asks me and at the same time, I dig out my phone from the bag, noticing that I received a text message from Senior Hana. She informs me that Dahyun is taking an emergency leave because she’s down with the flu. Seems like I need to take over her shift for the evening.

"Nope, sorry. Change of plans," I wiggle my phone to her, knowing she'll understand me. She sighs exasperatedly while Sehun who is standing beside her is already laughing.

“I’ll make it up to you guys,” I pack the last thing into my bag. “I promise.” 

“Yeah, yeah whatever. Don’t skip your dinner and come back home straight after your shift ends,” she commands, rolling her eyes to the back of her head. 

Breaking the hug that lasts long for a minute, I look over to Sehun this time. “Take care of yourself guys. Don’t do anything weird when I’m not around.” Glaring straight into his eyes as Sehun chortles before he nods. I laugh right after warning them because I’m definitely joking. 

I bid them goodbye and walk to the door slowly. Sneakily, I glance towards his direction; he is still talking to the same girl of whom I have already forgotten her name. The girl is still laughing, probably to his lame jokes. Then I realise, he is sitting too close to her with his hand already landed on top of hers.

The guy suddenly turns to look at my direction, focusing on me. Busted! I fluster from where I stand and quickly leave the lecture hall because I think he notices me staring at him, at them. Focusing back on my tracks to the nearest public transport, I walk down through the hallway to leave the university compound. 

“Hanbyul!” 

I stop in my tracks as I hear my name being called. I turn around to look at the caller, only to feel my heart drop as I see that it is him again. The guy walks towards where I’m standing, smirking even as he pants slightly, looking a little out of his breath.

“You’re the one who works at the cafe, right?” He scans me from the above my head, down to my feet and it creeps me out. “Yeah, I’m right.” He clicks his tongue loud and clear.

I don’t answer him, staying silent as I wonder why he even remembers me and most importantly, what does he want from me?

“Where are you going next?”

“I don’t think it’s necessary to tell you where I’m going,” Fixing my grip on my tote bag, I turn around to continue walking. I can hear him chuckles and it makes me slightly blushing. He, however, decides to go the extra mile to stop me from walking away. He stands in front of me as if blocking my way, his hand tucked into the pocket of his jeans.

“I’m assuming that you’re going to the cafe, right?” He asks—assumes, the smug smile is still etched on his handsome face. “Why don’t I walk you there, hm?” He offers, tilting his head a little, his eyes sparkling.

I stare at him for a second longer, just another second, before I shake my head, refusing his invitation. The male, however, doesn’t seem too pleased with my refusal, I notice his brows furrowing for a moment before it is replaced by the same smug look.

“Well, I’m about to get coffee anyway and your boss most definitely won’t appreciate you for turning down a customer.” He plasters a triumphant smile this time, when he notices my stunned expression, obviously taken aback by his words. He then walks away with a smirk, leading the way to the cafe without waiting for my answer. 

I sigh quietly and follow him from behind. Just a cup of coffee and he will leave you alone.

Once I arrived at the cafe, I head straight to the staff room to wear the apron, as usual. Tying my hair into a ponytail, I get back to the front and begin to brew his coffee. This time, it’s iced americano. Grabbing an empty glass, I fill it with ice cubes and cold water. Then, I pour the espresso shots into it and take out the lemon cake to cut into a slice. I am grateful that the cafe during Monday isn’t chaotic like weekends. After transferring the lemon cake onto a saucer plate, I place a fresh slice of lemon on top of it for the final touch.

Just like yesterday, he’s expecting me to send his orders to him. The same seat, the same table as yesterday. The lemon cake and the iced americano are arranged properly on the tray as I carry it over to his table. 

“Here’s your lemon cake and iced americano,” I place the tray carefully on the table. He is looking at me expectantly with his arms crossed.

He only hums and grabs his drinks as he begins to sip his beverage. I assume that he’s satisfied with his desserts seeing that he doesn’t give any remark. Suddenly the chime above the door rings,  I automatically blurt the greeting. “Good evening!” 

I rush back to the counter, leaving the male at his table. The new customer recites her order before I key it into the system. After the transactions, I prepare her orders as quickly as possible, without wasting any time. One frappuccino and one almond latte. It takes me around 5 minutes to prepare the drinks and place them into the carrier before passing it to her with a wide smile. “Thank you and enjoy your drinks!”

As my eyes follow her movements leaving the cafe, I feel his stare burning through my skin. He is still holding the cup in one hand, sitting in ways you can describe as arrogant like he’s the boss. At every movement I make, I can feel his eyes following me, observing me. I try to ignore him by going to an empty table to clean it up. Gathering all the used plates and utensils on the tray, I walk back to the counter but before I get there, he calls for me. 

“Hey,” he calls.

I stop and turn around to check on him, to see if he needs something from me as a customer, “Yes?”

He drops the fork after taking a bite of the lemon cake, his eyes looking right into mine. “Would you mind to sit with me for a minute?” He questions.

“Sorry but I’m bu-”

“Just a minute,” he cuts me off smoothly.

I gulp a lump in my throat and stealing a glance around the cafe. Since there are only a few people in the cafe, I slowly sit in front of him with the tray placed on my lap. None of us is saying anything for a moment, leaving me to fidget in my seat. But then he takes a breath,  finally deciding to talk.

“I would like to ask you…  for a date,” he confesses.

It is so sudden that I can feel my heart leaping out of my ribcage. I have never been asked for a date, this is literally the first time ever. I have never really considered dating a guy like him before. Dating is not my priority back then because I am more inclined to get my stable career first before thinking of dating someone. So obviously I won’t know what to do, how I should react.

I fidget in my seat, looking down at the tray instead of him. He is still waiting for my answer, looking at me expectantly when I look back up. Taking a deep breath, I pick up my courage and look at him in the eyes, “I don’t think so.”

The smug expression on his face is now gone, replaced by a look of surprise. He surely has never been rejected before. He lets out a cough, carding his fingers through his black hair, revealing some hues of grey as they hit the light coming from the window.

“And why is that?” he asks, leaning forward over the table.

“I don’t even know your name,” I retort, hoping to sound as stern. I’m not wrong, though. He came late to our class and didn’t even bother to introduce himself. I know he’s a Mr Byun now since I heard Mdm. Lee calling him that, but that’s literally it.

“If I tell you my name, will you agree to go out on a date with me?”

I stay silent when he stares straight into my eyes with his shimmering orbs. He waits for my answer eagerly with his index finger tapping on his shining silver wristwatch. He’s good looking face makes me wonder what’s his name.

“Probably yes.” 

He beams brightly with his eyebrows quirking upwards.

“But I barely have time for a date so I’m not sure when we can go out.”

“I probably can ask your boss to give you a longer break. Only for the date.” He grins and winks his right eye cunningly that makes me scoff silently.

“You cannot do that,” I say to him with a stern voice. 

“Oh, darling, you don’t know what I can do to go for a date with you,” he answers me, sounding so confident, leaving me with no room to retort. Something about his tone is making my stomach churn, but not in a negative way. 

He stands up and checks on the time at his wristwatch. “I need to go now, but it’s a deal right?” 

I quickly got up from the chair, carrying the tray in my hands. I bite my lips as he comes closer, his face just a few inches away from mine. I couldn’t bring myself to reply to him when he smiles, his eyes twinkling with mirth. Even after taking a deep breath, with our faces so close to each other, I can only manage a small nod.

The smile on his face grows wider upon hearing my answer. “Perfect!” He says. 

He starts to leave the cafe after giving me one last smile. My eyes stick to his figure leaving the door and I just realised, he doesn’t tell his name yet. I place the tray on the table and walk to catch up to him. 

“You still owe me your name.”

He stops in his tracks from pushing the door open, turning around to look at me with amusement written on his face. He steps closer to me and passes me a tissue that leaves me clueless. 

“It’s Baekhyun. Byun Baekhyun.”

Right after the cafe close at 10 pm, I clean and rearrange everything at the right place before getting ready to go back home. When I’m about to take out my phone from the pouch of my apron, I remember about the tissue. So I take it out to look at it once again. 

He gave me his number. What should I do with it?

I keep the tissue into the pocket of my jeans and head to the staff room, hanging my apron by the wall. I bid goodbye to my other colleagues and switch off the lights in the cafe before leaving the cafe. 

Tonight, it’s a chilly night. It’s a bad idea for not bringing any hoodie to the university because I didn’t expect to take over Dahyun’s shift. Since the train station is just 10 minutes away from here, I guess I’ll just hold onto the coldness. 

I walk down the street walk while mesmerising the stars shimmering brightly. Maybe, there’s a reason why the named ‘Byul’ meant to be a star. I breathe in the fresh air and pulls out my phone from my bag. Checking the notifications that appear, two from them are from Soomin and one from my mom. 

Suddenly, a loud honk makes me jump on the spot with shocks. I turn around to detect where does it comes from and there’s a black Audi car stops by the street. The driver rolls down the window and peeks his head to look at me. 

“Wanna have a ride?” He invites. 

“It’s okay, Baekhyun. Thank you for inviting.” I continue my walk as he drives his car slowly, following me from beside.

“Oh come on, it’s already late, Hanbyul.” Baekhyun comments. I sigh and turn around to look at him. He once again stops the car.

“It’s dangerous for a young, pretty woman like you walk alone at night. Who knows something bad wil-” He continues to make me scared so I cut him off.

“Okay fine!” I sigh in frustration, surrendering myself to him. Baekhyun smiles to me as he unlocks the door for me. I get into the passenger seat before admiring the luxury interior design of his car. 

“Use the GPS and key in your address,” Baekhyun commands. 

I avert my gaze to look at him, “Just send me to the nearest train station. I’ll be fine.”

“I insist to send you home, Hanbyul. Or I’ll drop you off at the corner of your neighbourhood. Sounds good?” He finally gives me an option and I nod my head as I type my address in his GPS. Baekhyun continues his driving towards the destination. I sit on the leather seat uncomfortably because the environment in the car throughout the journey is so awkward and silence. I sneakily glance on him driving the car focus and yet, he looks so dashing. 

He drops me off like I wanted to, the corner of my neighbourhood. “Thank you, Baekhyun for driving me here.”

“No problem. It’s a small matter.” I reply to him with a soft smile stretch on my face as I unbuckle the seatbelt and before I get to open the door, he stops me, “Text me when you arrive home safely.” 

I turn around for the last time and I nod to him before leaving his car. Baekhyun speeds his car leaving me alone as I walk to my apartment with confused feelings. Unlocking the door, I go straight to my room without greeting Soomin who is currently watching the television while waiting for me. 

“Byul, what’s wrong?” Soomin follows me to my room and asks me when she sees me lying on my bed restlessly. 

“Nothing... Just tired.” I murmur.

“Well well, take a quick shower and go to sleep. We have a class at 10 am tomorrow.” Soomin informs me as a grunt from me followed by. She chuckles before leaving my room. I remember about Baekhyun asking me to text him once I arrived but should I?

I grab my phone and the tissue in my pocket as I rethink my choices. In the end, I punch in his number into my phone and add his contact. I breathe in deeply before opening a new conversation.

[Byul]: hey, it’s me. i arrived safely and thank you once again for sending me back.

[Baekhyun]: hey, me. who are you?

I chuckle to his lame joke and reply to his text.

[Byul]: ha ha. funny. it’s hanbyul!

[Baekhyun]: aahh! it’s you. glad that you arrived in good condition.

[Byul]: yeah, thanks to you though. have you arrive home yet?

[Baekhyun]: well, I need to drop by and meet someone. need to go and talk to you later.

[Byul]: oh okay then. 

Charging the phone on the bedside table, I prepare myself to sleep, a quick shower and grabbing a pair of pyjamas to wear. I lay back on the comfy bed and before I let myself drift into sleep, I check my phone for any messages. There’s one from him that makes my heart skips a beat.

[Baekhyun]: goodnight, hanbyul.

[jenni42085]

Love in the Time of Corona <Three>

Three.

Scott and Chris greet Nico and Colton as they come back inside from the cold.  Even though Nico is in Colton’s hoodie she still looks cold and shaken a little, but she has a smile on her face so maybe everything is ok. 

“We all good now?”  Scott asks giving Colton a slightly dirty look.

“Yeah, we are good just had to have a sibling chat about being over protective.”  Nico says giving Colton a look with a small smile.  

Chris nods his head in understanding.  “Overprotective is not a bad thing.  Sometimes it is needed.”  He gives Colton a smile to let him know he gets it.

“I’m sorry Chris and Nico.”  Colton replies.  “I just worried and shouldn’t because we are adults who are out of their twenties and know how to act.”

“Agreed”. The three replied.  

Nico gives her brother a hug then pulls away excitedly from him to tell him good news.  “Guess what was made last night… well this morning and is ready to eat?”

“Pepperoni rolls!”  Colton replies excitedly.

She nods her head and walks over to the kitchen.  She proudly pulls out 4 rolls wraps them in a paper towel then put it in microwave for thirty seconds. 

The smells of freshly baked bread and melting mozzarella cheese fills the room making everyone’s mouth water. Nico proudly put a roll on a paper plate and then in front of everyone. Scott and Chris look at the delicious roll, while Colton digs in and moans at the taste. 

“Sis, it has been wayyy too long of me not having one. It’s so good.”  Colton says. “ Babe what do you think?”

With his mouth full of food, “Oh wow!  Nico this is absolutely amazing!  I’m going to probably need another one.”

“Hey! Save the rest of us some!” Colton says as Scott heats up another roll. 

Nico looks at Chris as he is eating, waiting to hear him say something. “Well, Chris . . . What do you think?”

Chris looks up from his roll and gives her a genuine smile that made her heart stop.  “It’s amazing. I had fun helping you make this.  It’s so simple but wow.”

Nico leans across the island and smiles back at him with pride.  She can’t help but feel proud when everyone was complimenting her baking. Thankfully they know she can carry her weight around the house. 

**************************************************************************************************************

Mid afternoon rolls around and Nico decided that it was time for a nap.  After the last few days she needed sometime to just fully unwind and not feel so stressed out. When she packed her paci originally she didn’t think she would really need a few things like this but she is glad she did. 

She closes the door and grabs her fuzzy Hello Kitty blanket and her sea foam green pacifier.  Nico was a little and needed to be in little space for a little bit because she was feeling overwhelmed and didn’t want an anxiety attack.

It’s something she has been doing for a few years with very few of her friends knowing. Age regression wasn’t something she was ashamed of but some people just wouldn’t get it and instead of explaining she just never told anyone.  It was her own little secret from the world.  She had gotten into it from an old boyfriend who was her daddy and realized she loved being little, just didn’t love him.  

After pulling off her leggings she snuggles with her blanket wrapped around her arm and under her head with her paci in her mouth and falls to sleep. Aside from having Chris snuggle with her the night before, this is what helps her sleep and feel safe.  She just hopes that she won’t have the urge to be little the majority of her time there.  Not sure if Colton can handle anymore surprises.

**************************************************************************************************************

Chris has finished up his last meeting for the day and was curious to see what Nico was up to. He appreciated the fact that she could keep herself entertained instead of being loud and crazy like Scott and Colton. 

When he didn’t see her in the common areas he figured she was in her room. He knocked on the door two times and no answer so he slowly opens the door. What he saw shocked him a little bit. 

Nico was fast asleep with the blanket she had last night and a pacifier in her mouth. From the way she was breathing it was a very deep sleep. Chris admired how peaceful and beautiful she looked while she slept. He was still curious about the pacifier but figured he would ask a later date. 

Part of the reason was because obviously she wanted her and the pacifier to be private hence why she was in her room with the door shut and not on the couch as before. And the other part he wasn’t sure if her brother knew anything about it and didn’t really want another confrontation. 

So he did what he usually does outside of Googling. . . 

Chris: Hey guys I have a question. 

RDJ: Ok then what is it,

Chris: She is sleeping with a pacifier. That’s not normal but I want to know why but don’t want to ask her. 

Hemsworth: Well, maybe she just has like a secret addiction. 

RDJ: Highly unlikely. 

Sebastian:  Maybe she is a little. 

Chris: A little what ?

Sebastian:  Umm how do I put this . . . She is submissive and like the idea of being a little girl with a ‘Dom Daddy’.

RDJ:  Do I want to know why you know this?

Hemsworth: I can already figure why he knows this. 

Sebastian: Look I’ve dated some interesting ladies. A little is actually nice and they call you Daddy 🍆🍆

As Chris reads this he tries to run through all the things that she might have done or said to prove that she is one.  He does know that she does likes rainbows, unicorns, and glitter but that doesn’t make him think she is a little.

Chris: So dating a little?  How does it even work? 

Sebastian: Pretty easy to a certain point. Rules, punishments, and rewards. The one I was with worked a normal job and everything but a few days a week when she got home she would regress and I would take care of her. 

Chris: And punishment as in. . . ?

Sebastian: Spanking, sitting in the corner, or maybe ignoring her for a few hours. It was odd she hated that one the most. But man, calling her a good girl or kitten would be her undoing. 

RDJ: Seb you are a weird little man. How did you find her?

Sebastian:  I didn’t know she was when we first met. She eased me into it. It was fun. 

Chris: Ok then. I’ll have to do some research. 

Chris closed out his messages and decided to take Dodger outside so he could run off some energy. The dog had become fond of Nico since he would follow her around and was even sitting outside her door while she slept.  Good to know he wasn’t the only one fond of her. 

While walking outside with his dog he hit another text message privately from Sebastian.

S: Hey it sounds like you are still unsure about her. Here is a few links about the lifestyle. 

C: Thanks. I really have been enjoying her company. And if that is what she is into I can be her ‘daddy’.  Just not sure how her brother would handle it. 

S: He doesn’t need to know about what she like to do in and out of the bedroom. And it’s not like she wants to be walked around on a leash.  Just likes to be submissive and care free. 

C: I know. Maybe it is a coping skill that helps with her anxiety. 

S: She has anxiety!  That is probably a driving force. It helps them to relax and not worry about the things that are bothering her.  Also it helps her to sort through her feelings a bit.

C: That’s a different way to cope but who am I to talk?

S: Exactly. If you really want to see if she is. Offer her something off your fork or spoon. If she doesn’t want to tell her to “be a good girl and have some” and if she does say she’s “a good girl” and see how she reacts. 

C: Sounds incredibly sexist and might piss her off. 

S:  Maybe so but there is a time and place for it all. And if she is. She’ll go for it. 

C: Idk man. That just seems extreme but I might try it. Just to see. 

S: I mean she is sleeping with a pacifier . . . I feel like that’s a pretty clear indication.  Hell you might like it too!  Being a daddy is fun.

Chris shakes his head then looks at the link that he was sent.  Scrolling through it and reading it made him feel unsure but excited by the idea of being a dom daddy and not just in the bedroom. 

He would be lying to himself that he didn’t enjoy being in control and making his female at the time cum when he said it was ok. The idea of Nico under him and calling him ‘daddy’ made him hard.  He could see her with pigtails and her large brown eyes looking so big and expressive wanting and begging for him. 

Scott came outside and made Chris shake his thoughts of Nico doing naughty things. He feels like he is going to need a cold shower after all those thoughts 

**************************************************************************************************************

Nico woke up from her nap after an intense sex dream with Chris. She was dreaming about having him as her ‘daddy’.  She dreamed of wearing pigtails and glasses and just begging for snuggles and then it transitioned into something different. It has been a few years since she had sex. So maybe she was slightly overdue. 

Dinner was uneventful thankfully. Granted thorough out the meal Nico would look at him while he wasn’t paying attention and vice versa. By the end of the meal she was squirming with semi damp panties.  Really wishing he knew that side of her.

When Chris saw Nico with her hair in pigtails at the dinner table it made him hard instantly and was thankful that they were at the table. She would unconsciously twirl her hair around her finger while talking. As innocent as she was doing it the thoughts both of them had were not so innocent but neither knew what the other was thinking. 

Scott and Colton had went to bed early since both had early morning meeting, leaving Chris and Nico alone with each other. While they were making their exit Nico had changed out of her contacts and once again put her unicorn glitter glasses along with shorts, cami, and over the knee socks. 

Chris almost lost it when he saw her come out with the glasses and the pigtails from his fantasy. They had watched one episode of Rick and Morty then he decided that he would try as Seb had suggested.  He grabbed a peaches and cream fruit cup and starting eating it.

“Oh wow this is really good!  You should try some.”  He said getting her attention.

She shifted from sitting criss cross applesauce on the furtherest most part of the couch to standing and moving closer to him to sit.  Her nose scrunched at the cup.  “What is that?”

“It’s a peaches and cream fruit cup.  Do you want to try some?  Here?”  He states as he offers the spoon to her.

“Ummm no thanks.  I’m good right now it does smell yummy though.”

“Ohh come on be a good girl.  I don’t have cooties.”  He replied calmly.  He waits to see her expression to making the comment.  

Nico tried to have a poker face but hearing ‘good girl’ struck a nerve.  Her eyes got larger and she wanted to be a good girl too she scoots closer to him and open her mouth to the spoon he is offering her.  He was right it was really good.  As soon as she accepted the spoon Chris replied. “That’s a good girl.  Yummy right?”

Without thinking Nico fell back into little space making her voice get softer.  “Yes daddy it was delicious.  Thank you.”  After she realized what she said to him she blushed hard and got up to leave embarrassed by saying something so private out loud.

Chris picked up on her shock and embarrassment and realized he had to do be a Dom daddy at that moment.  “Kitten?  Did I say you could leave?  We still have the rest of the fruit cup to finish so come here and eat it with me please.”

Nico nodded her head going back into little space.  “Yes sir.”  She sat back down on the couch close but far enough away from Chris.  She felt her chest getting tight but figured for the night being little with him might not be too bad.  It has been a while since she had a daddy.  

“Would you like another bite of it?”  He asked.  She nodded at him.  “Use your words kitten.”  Despite not having done this before he was easily falling into the role.  Later on he will have to thank Seb for the links that he sent because he probably would have messed it up without a little bit f studying.

“Yes sir.” 

“Such a good girl.”  He replied while feeding her another spoonful.  

Soon enough the fruit cup was empty and the two sat there still watching Rick and Morty.  Chris figured that she would try to run again but she didn’t. She sat there quietly, obviously processing everything that has just happened.  While she was processing it all he pulls her into his lap.  

Feeling so confused about what happened stressed Nico out but then suddenly relaxed when he pulled her into his lap.  She shocked herself by not even pulling away, she just let him do it.  He smelled amazing and she felt like she could stay like this forever.  He sensed her body was slightly tense still so he rubbed her back and stroked her pigtails.  A small yawn escaped her.

“Are you tired?”  He asked her.

“Just a little bit.”  She replied fighting the urge to fall asleep in his arms.

He looked at the clock and realized it was almost midnight so it is time for bed.  He thought about what to do next.  Putting her to bed was the option but wasn’t sure if her bed or his bed.  She looked so beautiful in his arms she looked up at him with her large brown eyes and didn’t want her to sleep alone or her to be woken up with her brother.  

“OK, lets go to bed.”  He stated firmly but calmly.  The tone of his voice was everything for her.   She was about to pull herself away from his lap but he still held her close. “Do you want your pacifier before we go to bed?”

She was pleased by hearing him ask her if she wanted her paci. It has helped her sleep times than she cares to admit. “Yes please.”

He lets her stand up, “Ok kitten go get it and whatever else you need to go to sleep. Come back to my room. You have 5 minutes.”  And with a lite tap on her bottom Nico was quickly walking to her room. 

While she was gone Chris turned off the tv and the lights and headed to his room. He couldn’t believe she was little, but didn’t know really where to go from there. At this point he figured he would play it by ear.  As if on time to knowing he needed some more help. 

S: So did you try it? Is she a little?

C: Yes. And she is most definitely one. 

S: Nice!  So what all have you done together?

C: After she ate off the spoon I cuddled her. She relaxed a lot in my lap. I told her it was bedtime and I told her she was sleeping in my room tonight. She is currently going and getting her pacifier and blanket. 

S: Look at you. Like a duck to water.  How does this make you feel?

C: Excited to a certain point then nervous. I don’t want to do it wrong or hurt her. 

S: Gotcha and understandable. If you just remember her mind set isn’t of an adult but a child. Might wanna ask her what her little age is. 

C: That seems like a lot. But I like her and am willing to try this whole thing out. 

S: You got this. You can most def be her dom daddy. 

Chris locks his phone then looks at his clock. One more minute then I’m getting her.  Before he could get up to head to her room she comes running in with her blanket and pacifier in hand.  

While she was gone she had changed to an oversized shirt that barely covered her thighs and kept the socks on.  Seeing her made him mentally groan with satisfaction. 

“I’m back sir with one minute to spare.”  Nico said softly. 

Chris stood up and towered over her making her feel small but safe. He puts a finger under her chin. “Good job kitten. But from now on you call me daddy or sir when we are alone. Understood?”

“Yes sir.”  Nico rubs her eyes again with a small yawn. “Can we go to bed now?  I’m really tired.”

“Come on daddy’s tired too.”  He says cheerfully but still slightly tired. 

Nico gets in the soft cool sheets, she uses her blanket as a pillow and blanket like always. Chris take her pacifier from her and examines it. He pulls the covers over her. He crawls in bed next to her and she moves closer for warmth. 

“Are you warm enough?”  He asks as she buries her head into his chest. 

“Yes sir.  It’s perfect not to hot or to cold.”

Nico closed her eyes feeling very comfortable with him. Comfortable not only because she was tired but for the fact that he was accepting her little. She lets another yawn come out and Chris puts the pacifier in her mouth. She slowly sucks it into her mouth letting her tongue come out in a very erotic fashion. 

She fully relaxes once she has her paci. As she was closing her eyes Chris pulls her paci from her mouth. Making her whine a little bit.  

“Daddy?”  She said in a voice just above a whisper. 

“Kitten, I forgot a good night kiss.”  He replies in a seductive voice.  He leans in and cups her face. First a kiss on the forehead then the nose and finally her lips. When they connected    both felt no longer tired but aroused. 

Her arms went around his neck and his hands traveled and cupped her bottom. He nips at her lip a little causing her to moan. Chris wanted to kiss her from top to bottom but pulls himself away and once again kisses her nose then forehead. 

“Good night kitten.”

“Good night daddy.”

[bts7writings]

BTS When They’re Asked About You

JIN

What is something small that you do daily for each other to make your lives better?

Jin has a smile idly present on his face as his mind flashed through all the things you do - some funny, some annoying, some that he couldn’t say on the air, but he managed to pinpoint something that makes his life a little better.

“I think she does it unconsciously now,” He measures his words to make sure that what he says won’t get him in trouble with either you or his manager, “Whenever I’m near, she kissed my shoulders.” He breaks out into a laugh, “Her lips and my shoulders are in the same height level, so she just walks towards me and lets her lips rest on me.”

The hears some of the staff members behind the cameras make cute noises and do does the shows host. “...And what do you think you do for her?”

“I supply her with my visuals” he jokes.

His souvenir from the show was matching work out gear, which he laughed at since neither him or you productively worked out - but it’d be a great lounge wear when you guys are on break.

SUGA

Has any of your routines changed since you’ve been together?

“What hasn’t she changed?” He jokes into the mic, trying to make himself seen small among his staring members.

“Rare is the day that I used to have before we got together” he cant suppress his smile or slight annoyance that he’s changed for the better.

“I wake up and she’s there, so I cant go back to sleep because I want to wake her up more than I want to go back to sleep.”

He thinks closely on what happens next, trying to highlight the most PG moments, “I think about her” he smiles, “I go by furniture stores and think that a sofa looks comfy for her to sleep when I run late studio sessions. I text her where I am as an excuse to get to ask her where she is” he sighs, the smile lingering still, “Everything I do, I think about how it effect us and I thought that would be scary, but she does the same and somehow we come together”

They gave him the touch bracelets, which he places carefully back in their box - unable to control his smiles from wanting to show them to you.

JHOPE

Is there something they do that makes you instantly happy?

He starts laughing because talking about you makes him slightly uncomfortable. He likes to keep things private - which explains why there’s no articles or photos floating around of either of you, just one single article from bight that officially says he’s off the market.

“She breathes and I laugh” he says truthfully, “In all honestly, she’s very different from I am. She’s not very public, she doesn’t like to make jokes or laugh too loud or call attention.” He smiles remember just how shy you really are, “She’s my happiness and she doesn’t even believe it - I gravitate towards her and every gesture she makes, every small smile that she willingly shows me just makes me be on cloud nine”

“It’s a privilege to get to love her”

He unrolled the couple-shirts he received from the producers and he couldn't hold back his laughter. On the small pocket of the shirt, there was a tiny design of his ‘I’m your hope - you’re my hope’ saying.

RM

Do you believe people are meant to be?

He takes a while to think about the answer. He knows that the reason the interviewer is giving him these types of question is because he just announced his engagement.

“I believe that people are in the process of being meant to be.” He grabs his bottled water and chug, knowing that he’ll need to explain his thought a little more, “When ‘meant to be’ we usually believe in soulmates and fate and all that.”

“I don’t usually give into those types of ideas, but I kinda have to give it up for the universe for giving me someone as amazing as my fiancé” he smiles brightly, “I’m trying to say that… people are meant to be, but not if you’re not ready for it - self care comes first and knowing what you deserve and what other people deserve give any relationship a better outcome.”

“I’ve personally grown to be happy and deserving with ARMY and my fiancé is able to get a better, more mature, version of me because that’s what she deserves and I think I deserve her too”

He got a gift-box filled with ramen packets, “Now I can cook for her - for once.”

JIMIN

You’ve been the face of healthy relationships, do you guys ever fight?

“I’m glad you didn’t say goals - since she cringes every time she hears it.” His smile is hard to miss as he begins to talk about you, “but of course we fight? Its how we make up”

Once the laughing clams down, he clears his throat taking a more serious tone, “I think fighting in natural - and this is something she taught me” The room was silent as he began to explain further with is hand gesture, “I used to think that fighting was a way to hurt the other person, but she got made  when i said that” he combs his hair back , biting back another smile “- she said that arguing isn’t meant to hurt the other person, its meant to understand the other person.”

“I’m not saying that we don’t get angry at each other, because we do!” He lightly jokes, “But we don’t argue when we’re angry, we take time to put our anger to words in order for the other person to understand where we’re coming from.” He rolls his eyes at himself. “It’s easier said than done sometimes, but love can be enough.”

“We know you guys have a bunch of matching accessories and clothing-“

“Some are matching, some she just steals“ He giggles.

“Well we got you matching bracelets“

“Oh wow“ he smiles, “She’ll love this, thank you”

V

Any future plans? 

He can’t hold back his smile, obviously this question is the only thing on his mind after your begin wrapping up your final semester.

He sits up straighter, anxious to answer the question, “Future..” He lets the word vibrate inside the room, “I’ve been itching for her to finish her studies, since she’s supportive and I’m supportive - we don’t like to plan for the other really.” His smile widened again, “But we have discussed her moving in recently, I can’t really move my career, but since she’s just starting off it’ll be easier for her plus her Korean has greatly improved.”

Once you got him talking there’s no way he’d shut up about you. “I think I want whatever she’s able to give me for the future. I see her with me for sure, as long as she’ll have me.... and our kids and farmhouse filled with animals... in Switzerland” he teases you through the screen.

“Well I know she’s backstage” The interviewer said, “So we wanted to give you guys this as a thank you present.” There, in front of him was matching keychains with both of your initial on it - in hope to a good moving in together vibe.

“This is exactly what we needed”

JUNGKOOK

We all know you’ve had a very high profile friendship - how long was it till you guys got together?

“When we got together?” He scoffs at his comical memories, “You mean - when she decided to get together with me” He lets out a laugh, “I’m not good with affection...or telling people how I feel, but I’m pretty sure - I remember because i told my hyungs this - I’m pretty sure that I made my feeling pretty clear to her”

The audience laughs with him as well, the memories as clear as yesterday, “Since we had a such a high profile friendship, it was really hard to deconstruct the idea of us being together. She was ignoring all my advanced because she thought it was in her head and i’d never fall for her” He scoffs again kick back on his chair, “Which is ridiculous because have you seen her? She's the most perfect human being I’ve even seen. After a while I thought she was just rejecting me, but if it wasn't for my nosey hyungs we would've just stayed friends that liked each other too much”

The other members smiled fondly him talking non-stop. “So...” the interviewer couldn't contain the surprise anymore. “You're members were all very kind and all pitched in to surprise you with this”

Jungkook's eyes opened wider than they ever were, he knew exactly what was in the box. You and him have joked about it endlessly but they didn't think they’d actually be listing - or even take it serious.

“You did not just get us a bunny“ He says eyeing the box that was currently being opened. A small ball of fluff with floppy ear in the center to a pillow presented in front of him, “Y/n’s going to kill you guys, but this is so cool.“

__________________________________________________

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[memoriesofkpop]

Adoration of U Ch 8

Tags: Fluff, Angst Jihoon; Jun; Soonyoung (Hoshi); (Y/N) Female Reader; ft. other members of Seventeen Series: 8/?

Ch 8: Let Me Hear You Say

    With all of the managers helping, the boys were able to get Jun into the car unspotted and transported to the hospital for a IV drip to sober him up. Saying he was a mess at the moment was an understatement. He had fought everyone and everything while they got him into the darkened van, complaining and whining the whole way there. 

    “I can’t believe you did this on a day you had a shoot. You’re almost done for God’s sake WHY would you do this now?!” Seungcheol scolded as he sat by Jun, who had the IV in his arm and didn’t dare respond. 

    He didn’t know why he did it. His co-stars wanted a few drinks since filming was coming to a close and who was he to deny them of a few drinks? 

    He let out a sigh unconsciously. Why bother lying to himself?

    His thoughts were constantly consumed of thoughts of her. Thoughts of Y/N. He wanted to drink to forget...or maybe drink to remember the good times. Who knows. All he knew was that the alcohol helped drown out his sorrows and he felt better that way. 

    “-got to stop this. Jun. Jun? Are you listening to me? We only have a few hours left for you to get sober and rested and prepared for filming...Jun!!” Seungcheol continued, frustrated at the lack of response from the boy who sat in front of him with lonely eyes. 

    “...I...Do you think she’ll talk to me…?” Jun asked, looking up for the first time since arriving at the hospital. Caught off guard, Seungcheol hesitated in his reply. But before he could say anything, Jun continued. “..Do you think she still loves me like I love her? Did I even love her? I wouldn’t have cheated if I did...right? Does this mean I love Minah…?” 

    “...Jun… Look. I’m going to be honest to you because that’s what you need. No. You obviously do not love Y/N. Or at least not enough to stay loyal. So no. I do not think she will talk to you. In terms of Minah...I can’t help you there. Maybe you do love her. Maybe you don’t. Maybe you just love the idea of having someone by your side. But you’ve got to remember that as an idol, none of this matters right now. Your loyalty and love should be directed to the fans,” said Seungcheol firmly. 

    “Then why’d the company let me date her?” Jun questioned.

    “Y/N? Because we thought she’d be good for you. And she was,” the other boy stated matter-of-factly. “Minah on the other hand...you know why.”

Jun couldn’t help but sigh once more.

    Before either boy could speak again, there was a knock on the door and a man stepped in. 

“Charts and tests look good. He should be fully sober and ready to work in an hour. We will discharge him then,” said the doctor. Seungcheol nodded as the man stepped back out with a smile and closed the door gently. 

    “An hour left,” Seungcheol said to Jun, just as one of the managers walked in. 

Though the room fell silent, Jun’s thoughts couldn’t have been any louder within his head. 

A tear slowly trickled down his face. Shocked, Jun quickly wiped it away, not know why these tears were falling.

“I don’t know what to do anymore… I really don’t…” he whispered to himself.

--

“You must have me mistaken for someone else,” Y/N firmly said to the woman in front of her, leaning back in her seat. 

“Are you sure? I’m certain that you are her. Your face. Your voice. I recognize them,” the woman replied. Y/N shook her head. 

“Sorry. You’ve got the wrong girl,” she replied. The woman paused for a few seconds. 

“Look. I don’t mean any harm. I just wanted to talk to you,” she started. Y/N only blinked back at her. “I need to know for certain that you and Jun are over.” 

“Lady, I have no relations to a Jun let alone YOUR Jun,”

“Can I check your phone then?”

“What? Why would you even-- don’t touch my stuff!” Y/N stated, snatched her phone from the table. 

“He has been texting someone. And been on his phone a lot more. I’ve caught him scrolling through your pictures together,” she said softly. 

“We are not together. You can trust me on that,” Y/N repeated once more.

“But-”

“Is everything okay here?” said the barista as he placed down a cup on the table, glancing at Y/N with a slightly worried face. 

The woman took this chance to stand up and grab her sunglasses. She turned to Y/N. “You can be sure I WILL get to the bottom of this. If you told me lies, you better watch your back,” she said before brushing past the barista and out the door. Her heels clicked against the hardwood floors her whole walk out. The sound was slightly drowned out by the music playing in the background but it was deafening none the less. Y/N couldn’t do anything but watch her leave. 

“You should breathe. I think you were holding your breath ever since she stood up,” Jaehyun said quietly, leaning ever so slightly towards Y/N. She exhaled, not even knowing she was holding her breath and glanced at the man beside her. 

“Th-thanks. For coming over,” she said. 

“Of course,” he said with a gently smile. “Would you like to order anything else? Some food? We also have a nice but small selection of books in that corner over there,” he continued, gesturing to a far corner. “I’m just glad I’m not alone in here. This place is small and people tend to just walk right past us. Imagine my surprise when a lovely lady walked in, followed by Minah,” he said with a chuckle. She froze at the name. 

“You know her?” she questioned. 

“Well. Not personally, no. But I am--or was-- a fan,” Jaehyun said. 

“A fan? Who is she?” 

“You don’t know her?”

“Not at all.”

“Minah. Daughter of the famous Director Lee. She’s an actress herself. I believe shes under the MX entertainment Label,”

“Ah. I see. Thanks,” she stated. Silence began to fill the air. 

“Um. I’ll go make you some food and something to drink, on the house” he replied after clearing his throat. His sheepish smile returned as he scurried back to the center back of the cafe. 

----

Jihoon wrote and rewrote only to rewrite the ever changing lyrics on the worn out notepad in front of him. The pages were littered with lines that crossed through his rushed writing. The more he thought of her, the quicker he wrote. The faster his hands traveled across the pages, the move he crossed out. The frustration grew within him and as he hit his fourth page of scribbles, he smacked down the pen against the notepad and sighed. His hands furiously traveled to his head as his fingers ran through his hair. With his head hung low, he desperately tried to rid himself of the words Jun had said to him the other day. With their surprise visit to his studio that night, Jihoon has been struggling to stay focused on life let alone on music. The words Jun confessed to him replayed over and over in his mind….

-Flashback to that night - 

“You know that I love her. Don’t you?” Jun questioned, desperation apparent on his face.

“Minah?” Jihoon replied.

“Both. Her and Y/N.”

“...do you really love her then?”

“Minah? ...I think so… she’s always there for me. And the company approves of her and-”

“What about Y/N?”

“... I… I don’t know… She’s nice and really sweet… She’s good to me. Maybe too good...But I’m not willing to give her up. I still love her. I will always love her. She has and will always be my everything…She’s the one my parents approve of.. The one you boys like better...but...I don’t know...”

“You don’t seem to sure…”

“...I am sure that I’m supposed to be with one of them… I just… She’s not fond of the idea of being with me right now ‘cause of Minah…”

“Well...what are you going to do?”

“...I’ve thought this over before...and… you either end up being married or end up breaking up. Those are the two options...and…Y/N….Minah…. I think i’m going to ask her…”

“Ask her….what exactly?” Jihoon questioned as his body grew more and more anxious.

“To marry me...Yeah...I’ll just ask her to marry me!” Jun exclaimed.

Jihoon stood up from his seat so fast that his chair rolled a good distance from the table before them. “You’ve got to be kidding,” Jihoon stated. “You can NOT just decide to marry someone like that! You have to think this through!”

“I did think this through!”

“Obviously not if you’re thinking about proposing to Y/N after you cheated on her! What is that messed up brain of yours thinking?! You’re an IDOL, Jun. Think of what this will do to your career. Think of what your fans will think! What the company will do and-”

“If my fans truly love me, they will let me marry the girl of my dreams!” Jun retorted quickly, feeling the hurt from the insults stabbing into him.

“And is that Y/N, Jun? Is it really?” Jihoon shot back. “You’ve done nothing but hurt her. I’ve seen her try so hard to smile and I’ve seen her cry more than I’d like to admit. You were the cause of it all, Jun!”

“I never meant to hurt her! I’ve been trying my best!”

“Your best isn’t enough and you know it! She deserves so much more than you can ever offer her!” Jihoon shouted. He didn’t know why he was filled with so much rage and hurt but he projected it onto the doe-eyed boy standing before him without another thought. 

“Then what the hell am I supposed to do! Huh?! And why are you so defensive about her?!” Jun shouted back. 

Jihoon didn’t have an answer nor a response. He simply glared at him with his lips sealed shut. He didn’t understand his own feelings, so how was he supposed to put them into words? Confusion started to build within him.

Then something clicked for Jun. His anger seized for a moment as he looked at the boy before him. There was something sorrowful in his eyes. Perhaps Jihoon felt bad for him? No...It wasn’t simply pity. It was guilt that flooded his glistening eyes. With a shaky voice, pleading eyes, and a blind hopefulness that his gut was wrong, jun softly asked him his final question.

“...Jihoon...do….do you love her?”

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Ch 1 Ch 2 Ch 3 Ch 4 Ch 5 Ch 6 Ch 7 Ch 8

Masterlist

[svtmatokis]

Jihoon OfficeAU P4

And Part 4…

Genre: Romance/Fluff/Angst

Plot: You and Seungcheol have been best friends forever and as a favor, you agree to be temporary assistant of the one Lee Jihoon.

Words: 3841\

Warnings: Jihoon checks her underwear out...this is the PG version.

Part 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 -

When everyone including Wonwoo who left the office early gathered in Jihoon’s living room, all eyes were on you and Seungcheol.

“Well? What’s going on?” Jeonghan asked.

“Was it true that the two of you were engaged?” Jihoon asked.

“And how does Min Yoongi play into this all?” Wonwoo asked.

Joshua raised his eyebrow at the three men and only chuckled. “We just want the truth to what’s going on. Why Y/N would be associated with someone as elite as Yoongi though she’s just a regular person…”

“Well…” you started, “It’s where it begins.” you said getting comfortable on  the couch. Seungcheol to your left and Jihoon to your right. 

“I may have grown up normal, my family lineage isn’t so much. My father was an engineer for  a big electrical  company but my mother came from one of the top families in Korea. She was in an arranged marriage for most of her life but ultimately fell in love with my dad when they met on a business trip and here I am…” you said with a smile thinking of how in love your parents were to this day. 

“Obviously my grandfather who is the current head of the family didn’t accept the relationship and forbade them to see each other but my parents ran away to the States before I was born.” you continued.

“Then how are you and Seungcheol friends? If you were born in the States, there was a one in a million chance that you would meet. But how did it happen?” Jeonghan asked.

“Our moms are best friends from boarding school.” Seungcheol answered, “Y/N attended boarding school here while her parents stayed in the States to avoid being found by her grandfather. Her parents still wanted her to have a high level of education and my family watched over her for the duration of her studies.”

“So because your parents were best friends they wanted to tie the family together so they arranged your marriage?” Jihoon asked  bluntly causing you and Seungcheol to awkwardly laugh.

“Not exactly…” you said, “Our parents married for love and wanted that for us too. But when we were in the tenth grade I was found by my grandfather. He heard from an overseas contact that he had a granddaughter and that she was currently in Korea and suddenly the hunt for me was on. It turns out the family that my grandfather wanted my mother to marry into had a son around our age and wanted to make the family bond permanent. I met with my grandfather for the first time over lunch with Seungcheol and he said the only possible way out of the contract that he was going to sign was for me to be engaged to someone else before my twenty-fifth birthday. We left that night and spoke with our  parents and explained the situation. My parents were devastated that my grandfather was doing something like this and Seungcheols father suggested that they put Seungcheol and I in an arranged marriage and so it was done.” you took a big breath as everyone processed what you had said.

“After highschool, we broke off the engagement and she left for UCLA.” Seungcheol cast you a side glance, “What I didn’t expect was for her to return.” 

“So….you basically got engaged for her safety... “ Jihoon stated and Seungcheol nodded.

“Pretty much.” he responded while ruffling your hair which you tried to move away from. “She’s the little sister I never had.” 

“Why’d you guys break it off if it was for her safety?” Wonwoo asked out of nowhere and the eyes were back on you.

“We wanted to marry for love and not arrangement.” Seungcheol answered, “But as I said, I didn’t expect Y/N to return.”

You shrugged, “I felt like I shouldn’t worry too much since Korea was such a big place….but I guess my grandfathers been keeping an eye on me…” 

“So you dont think that today was an accident…” Seungcheol said and you nodded your head.

“Yoongi’s the type of person who does things with a purpose. He knew I worked for you...he just didn’t expect me to be right in front of him…” you said quietly.

“What does Yoongi have to do with this again?” Jeonghan asked.

“The Min’s were the ones who told my grandfather about me back then. I don’t know how they confirmed it but Yoongi was a senior at the time...we didn’t officially meet till much later though.” you answered.

“Wait, so you meeting with him today...when you stood up…” Joshua started and you nodded your head confirming his suspicions.

“He wanted me to know that I should be careful...the contract that my grandfather is going to sign promises a hefty dowry and Yoongi’s after it. He’ll do anything to get to it and there’s only one way for me to get out of the contract myself.”

“And it’s to get engaged.” Wonwoo stated and you nodded your head.

“Are we done with the questions now? My head hurts.”you whined rubbing your head. It had been a long day and all you wanted to do was get any feeling of Min Yoongi off of you.

“Last thing, I don’t want Y/N to be alone…” Seungcheol stated firmly. He knew the things the Mins were capable of and the last thing he wanted was for you to be ambushed when you were alone.

“She’ll stay with me.” Jihoon interjected before anyone could say anything. “I’m her boss and it’s my responsibility to take care of my employees.”

His tone held finality and no one argued. Not even Seungcheol who could tell why Jihoon said what he said.

“You know that I’ll be fine right?” you asked and smacked Seungcheol’s arm, “Stop babying me!”

Seungcheol grinned, “It’s for your safety and I trust Jihoon more than anyone. Plus Yoongi wouldn’t guess that you’re staying here so that leaves one less place for him to look for you.” 

“I don’t want to intrude though,.” you started and Jihoon shook his head.

“I like having you here.” he gave you one of his genuine smiles and you felt the butterflies go off in your stomach causing you to blush.

The men in the room looked between you two and could tell that something had changed in the atmosphere and suddenly they were making excuses to leave.

“Well, we’ll leave you two to sort out the living arrangements. Y/N, my fathers men will be watching for signs of Yoongi and you’ll have two hidden guards on you when you’re out in public. We should get back to the office. Feel free to take the rest of the day off” Seungcheol said as he opened the door allowing the other men to file out once they said their goodbyes.

“Use a condom” Joshua whispered to Jihoon jokingly as he walked by making Jihoon punch his arm lightly. 

“Or make sure she takes a pill. Seriously, I don’t think Cheol needs another heart attack.” Jeonghan said following Joshua out.

Wonwoo only walked by and smirked at Jihoon before “accidently” dropping something on the floor and walking away.

“It’s not like that.” he grumbled and shut the door and locked it leaving the two of you alone. He looked down to see what Wonwoo had dropped. He narrowed his eyes when he realized that it was a condom and quickly picked it up and shoved it into his pocket before you noticed.

“I’m going to take a shower and wash of the Yoongi germs” you said going towards your “Room” “Do you want to watch another movie?”

“Sure.” Jihoon said watching you from behind. You didn’t close your bedroom door and he could see you get ready for your shower. He knew that you always changed into your bathrobe before your shower and there were times that you would forget to close the door since you were used to living alone so on the rare occasion, Jihoon was greeted with you either topless or bottomless and completely oblivious but this was the first time he was watching you from start to finish.

His eyes drifted down to your plump butt, he knew that you worked out and the effort definitely showed. He also knew that you and Seungcheol would go running or rock climbing on a regular basis and he couldn’t help but let his eyes wander down your frame. Unconsciously he licked his lips wondering what the front looked like and suddenly he slapped himself.

No he would not think of you that way, You were his employee for goodness sakes.

Shaking out of his thoughts, Jihoon decided to finish the wine that the two of you had opened the night before and started looking for a movie. Slowly, he drifted to sleep.

(A little while later)

“Jihoon, Jihoon, HEY JIHOON!” you yelled clapping in front of his face making him jolt awake. “I came out of the shower and you were passed out. Are you okay?” you asked touching his forehead.

He tried not to blush at the contact remembering his dream which had not been completely innocent and looked up to see you looking  at him with concern. He could’ve sworn he saw an angel right then and there and resisted the urge to lean up and kiss you. 

Grabbing a lock of hair that hung over your shoulders, he brought it up to his nose and the smell brought a smile to his face

“Smells good…” he said making you blush tomato red. “Did Seungcheol’s secretary give it to you?”

“How’d do you know?” you asked in shock and he shrugged his shoulders. 

“Just a wild guess. Are you ready to watch a movie?” he asked looking down at his phone.

SC - You have everyones blessings but if you hurt her, I will personally hunt you down and kill you and there will be office rules. You know that we already have a no dating policy but we’ll discuss that later. Just make sure she feels the same way and have a great night Kiddo.

“Tsk” he muttered to himself, “Who do they think they are. Blessing? Blessing my a-”

“What blessing?” you asked out of the blue as you slowly picked up on what Jihoon was muttering.

Caught off guard, Jihoon suddenly became nervous.

“Oh uh...I got a text from the guys about something...being a blessing in disguise..” Jihoon managed to stutter out and you didn’t buy it one bit.

“Uh...huh…” you said with a curt nod as you got off the couch and that’s when Jihoon saw what kind of underwear you were wearing under your pajama dress and nodded his head in approval.

He was always a black satin kind of guy. He already gave into the fact that he was into you but was going to go at his own pace. He’d had girlfriends before but none of them stuck around long enough due to his heavy workload and commitments and it just got to a point where work always came first for him and he would miss dates, anniversaries, important events and the girl would end up leaving him. 

He knew it was his fault but he never found a girl that was worth it enough to care for. That was until he met you. When you walked into his office with Seungcheol on your first day he had to remind himself to breath. You were beautiful and held yourself with confidence but it was your work ethic that really got him interested.

You were a hard worker, that was a fact but you also knew how to have fun. On the rare occasion that he would step out of his office, he would see Seungcheol or one of the other managers talking to you and upon overhearing a conversation,it sounded like they were asking you for advice over certain matters and that got him curious.

He knew that your time was almost up with the company since his old assistant was due to return the following week and he wondered where you would go. He was tempted to talk to Seungcheol and offer you a permanent position with the company but if Seungcheol had wanted that, he would have done so already. Apparently, no one bothered to tell him about the  proposal Seungcheol had on the first day.

“So did you decide what movie to watch?” you asked settling on the other end of the couch in the blankets. He noticed that you had brought another bottle of wine and poured you a glass before pressing play on the remote.

He took a sip of his wine and made himself comfortable next to you closer than usual. 

Halfway through the movie, Jihoon casually wrapped his arm around your shoulder which made you look at him weirdly. He pretended not to notice as he drank his wine making you return your attention to the movie, though it was obvious that there was something else that was up.

Eventually your head rested against his shoulder and he was subconsciously playing with the ends of your hair. 

“Hey Y/N…” he started and you looked up at him again.

The look in his eyes made you gasp, you didn’t expect to see this emotion in someone like Jihoon but as he tilted your chin up, your eyes closed as your lips met in a soft kiss. 

Jihoon lifted your legs up so they were across his lap as he scooted closer to you and took one of your hands in his and the kiss deepened as your tongues met, A soft moan from you gave Jihoon approval to push it further and without removing his lips from yours, he leaned you backwards so your head was resting on the headrest and he was lying on top of you with the hand that was holding yours resting above your head and the other one holding your cheek.

You pulled away when air became a necessity and Jihoon rested his forehead against yours as you both breathed heavily. 

“Ji…” you whispered and he took the hand that was still intertwined with his and kissed it. 

“I’m cancelling that contract with Yoongi tomorrow.” he stated and nuzzled your cheek, “But only if you agree to be with me.” he muttered and you pushed him up slightly to look at him with wide eyes.

“Be with you?” you asked and he nodded, “Like as in…” 

“I get to hold your hand whenever I want to, I can tell the guys to back off when I want to and I can spoil you whenever I want to…” he said, “So will you?” he asked and you thought for a while. 

You did enjoy being around him and living with him for the last week did show that you were already able to co-exist with one another. He did have his tough side but you saw a lot of his soft side too. 

In the end, you looked up at him and nodded your head. “Kay.” 

Jihoon gave you one of his rare smiles before his lips met yours again but this time the kiss was more gentle and full of promise. 

After a few minutes of making out, the two of you decided to finish watching the movie that was on but this time, your head was on his chest as he had his arm wrapped tightly around you. At the end of the night, the two of you went to your separate bedrooms, both falling asleep with content smiles on your faces.

The next morning, Jihoon woke up to the smell of food but no sign of you anywhere. He walked into the kitchen to see breakfast made along with a note from you.

Cheol asked me to meet him for breakfast this morning. I prepared some bacon and eggs and the coffee should be done by the time you wake up. See you at the office~! - Y/N ♥

Jihoon smiled at the note before pouring himself a cup of coffee. “It hasn’t been twenty-four hours yet and she’s already wife material” he muttered to himself with a smile.

After eating, he proceeded to get ready and headed to the office. What he didn’t expect was to see his old assistant who had returned from leave sitting in the spot you were supposed to be occupying and his heart dropped. Your three weeks were officially up and to his knowledge, your future with the company was TBA. He suddenly felt upset that no one had told him about your departure and he felt stupid for not talking to Seungcheol sooner about offering you a permanent position.

His assistant looked up at him with a bright smile as if already sensing his presence. “Good morning Jihoon.” she said in a bright tone. 

“Uh...Good morning and welcome back Min.” he said walking past her and going into his office.

He let out a breath and sent you a quick text asking where you were as he looked out the window. At the same time, Min had come into the office without knocking and asked to speak with him.

“I just wanted to let you know that I did a lot of thinking while I was away and promise that I’ll work harder from now on.” she said standing right behind him. “I realized that if I want to be the woman you choose, I have to live up to your standard and I’m willing to do that.” 

Jihoon felt Min wrap her arms around his waist he froze. Did this woman suddenly grow some balls while she was away? His thoughts went to you and wondered what you were doing.

He pulled Min’s arms apart and stepped away from her before turning around. 

“Please respect peoples boundaries Min.” he said sternly with a glare, “I don’t need you to be a woman of my standard. I just need you to do your job efficiently.” 

“But Jihoon, I realized during my trip that the man I wanted to be with was you…” she said, “As your assistant and as someone who could stay by your side...will you let me do that?” she asked grabbing his arm.

Jihoon was about to snap at her when a throat cleared at his doorway and he looked up to see you and Seungcheol standing there with wide eyes.

“Y/N, Seungcheol.” he said and removed Min’s arm from his. “Please go back to your station Min, we will talk later. In the meantime, please find time to schedule a meeting with Min Yoongi of Bangtan Corp. His information should be in the contact list.” 

Min had apparently taken this as a good sign and nodded her head happily, “Yes sir.” before she left greeting Seungcheol along the way and gave you an odd look.

“So that was his old assistant.” Seungcheol said motioning to Min before he looked at Jihoon, “And what the heck was that?” 

“She went on vacation and came back crazy.” Jihoon muttered running a hand through his hair, “Are you two just getting in?” 

“She seems...interesting.” you said looking back at the girl who was going through Jihoons schedule, her eyes wide with shock. “Didn’t you read my note? Seungcheol took me out for breakfast.” 

“I had some official business to discuss with her. As you recall, her three weeks is up.” Seungcheol said and Jihoon interrupted him. 

“I actually wanted to talk to you about that-” he started but Seungcheol held his hand up.

“I do too. What did you think of Y/N’s work over the last three weeks?”  Seungcheol asked as you bit back a giggle.

“Impeccable, organized, punctual..” Jihoon listed off looking at you with a smile, “Over qualified for an assistant.” 

“Then would you think she would make a good asset as one of our managers then?” Seungcheol asked and Jihoon’s jaw dropped and he almost smacked himself in the face. How could he forget?

“Definitely.” Jihoon answered with a nod.

“Good, cause I just offered her the management position we’ve been trying to fill.” Seungcheol said, “She’ll be working with you for the time being till she picks up on how we run things around here but that really shouldn’t take long. We’re in the process of getting her office set up within the week but in the mean time, would it be okay if she worked in yours?” he asked with a smirk and you burst out laughing at the astonished look on Jihoon’s face. 

“I think you broke him Cheol.” you said getting up for your chair to walk to Jihoon’s side of the desk and waved your hand in front of his face. “Hellooooo Jihooonie, do you not want me working in here? I can always go to Joshua’s office…” 

You started to get up slowly but Jihoon caught your wrist instantly and held you in place so you ended up leaning against his desk.

“Everything sounds perfect.” he said and Seungcheol grinned before nodding.

“Great, then I’ll leave her to you. Also, please be aware of what you two do here. I’m not ready to be an uncle yet.” he said getting up, “You might want to have her brief Min on your schedule and things she’s missed since she left as well.” 

“I’ll take care of everything. Thank you Seungcheol, you can leave now.” Jihoon said dismissively with a wave of his hand though his eyes still remained on you.

“I’ll see you two at lunch then. The managers are all getting together to officially welcome Y/N to the management team so attendance is mandatory...though I think that shouldn’t be an issue now” Seungcheol said leaving you with a parting grin as you and Jihoon rolled your eyes.

“So...want to explain?” you asked nudging your shoulder to Min who was watching you and Jihoon with rapt attention.

“Not sure...she kind scared me too.” Jihoon said opening his desk drawer and pulling out his work laptop, “You can work on this for now, I’ll have to convince Cheol to let us share an office and that you having your own office won’t be necessary.” 

“But I want my own office to decorate.” you said with a slight pout and Jihoon chuckled. 

“You can decorate my office anyway you want dear. As long as it’s within reason.” he said holding your hand with a smile, “And thank you for breakfast this morning. It was delicious.” 

“You’re welcome.” you said with a smile, “I figured if I hadn’t prepared it, you would’ve come to the office hungry again.” you then turned to look at Min who was still staring at you and Jihoon, “So should I brief your assistant before you start showing me things?” 

“I’d like to be apart of it too…” he said and looked outside, “Min would you please step into my office?” 

[bettycooperthefirst]

If You’re Looking For a Sign

Betty is supposed to go on a blind date, but when he doesn't show, a stranger steps in in his place. (Ship: Bughead)

Read on Ao3 

Betty didn’t even want to go on the blind date that Veronica had been prepping her for all week. The dating world wasn’t worth it- she was sick and tired of kissing so many frogs and she was starting to think there was no prince. If she had to sit through another meal where some pretentious man took over the conversation to discuss his social climb up the work ladder or go off on a tangent about how he was a sensitive painter- if she had to suffer through another date where the grown adult sitting across from her treated her like a piece of meat- she might just walk out of the restaurant and never date again. It seemed like that was what the universe wanted. All signs were pointing to Betty never finding a good guy.

But Ronnie had been raving about this guy for weeks now, so Betty had sighed and put on a nice skirt, made her hair look presentable and applied some pink lipstick. She would give it one last shot and so help her god, if this one was a dud, she would probably lose her mind.

Walking up to the Italian restaurant where they were supposed to meet, she smiled at the hostess, trying to convince herself that it would be a good situation. Smiling releases endorphins to make you actually happy. I am happy right now.

She was a few minutes early and decided to sit down at a table and wait there. She had the guys number, so she sent him a quick message to let him know and took a look at the drink menu.

“Water?” A waiter appeared next to her and she nodded and thanked him as he poured her a glass. “Waiting on someone?”

Betty looked at her watch. 6:00 sharp. “He should be here any minute.” The waiter nodded in understanding. But he wasn’t there any minute. He wasn’t there 20 minutes later and he wasn’t responding to her texts, but Betty had ordered a lemonade and knew deep down, somewhere in the pit of her stomach, that if she paid for it and left, she’d walk out the door and emotionally close herself off. The last straw in a long line of crappy dates and crappy guys. She felt her chest tightening as she ran through her head the possible reasons he was late.

Stuck in traffic. It is a Friday night- traffic is busy, parking can be rough.

Maybe his car wouldn’t start- but then why didn’t he let her know? The excuses poured in as the clock ticked ahead.

A family emergency.

A personal emergency.

A veterinary emergency.

The couple one table over had eaten their meal and were starting to glance her way. Betty could see it in their eyes that they felt bad for her, this girl sitting alone in a nice restaurant, clearly waiting for someone, having glanced at the door so many times. A group of college aged girls were glancing her way too. Betty had graduated a year ago herself, but these girls looked younger. She saw one girl, all strawberry blonde curls and dark eye makeup, look at her and then talk to her friend and laugh. The girl she spoke to turned around, blatantly looking in Betty’s direction.

Betty could imagine the conversation. Don’t look now but there’s a girl over there who has clearly been stood up. Pathetic. No don’t look now, she’ll know we’re talking about her!

Betty felt a spiral coming on. Her fingers curled into her palm, the way they unconsciously did anytime her anxiety kicked in. She had decided that this date would work out if the universe wanted it to. Well obviously the universe wanted her to sit alone in Vivaldi’s on a Thursday night. Betty looked at the empty chair across from her.

If you’re looking for a sign this is it.

Betty started to look around for her waiter when someone suddenly dropped into the seat that had been empty moments before. He had dark, messy hair and smiled at her like he knew her.

“Sorry I’m late sweetheart. Got caught up in traffic and then couldn’t find parking. I hope I didn’t worry you.” He gave her a sincere look of apology, taking off his jacket and putting it over the back of the chair.

She blinked back at him in surprise. “Excuse me?”

The boy opened his eyes a little bit wider, looking at her like he needed her to understand something, as he continued. “Making you wait on me like that. So rude. Can you forgive me?”

Betty had seen pictures of the guy she was supposed to be meeting tonight. He had red hair, an all American type. This wasn’t him. So who was this boy across from her, still smiling at her, waiting for a response?

She only had a split second to process all of this make a decision.

“That’s okay.” She said carefully. “I forgive you.”

The boy across from her broke into a bigger smile and Betty felt the eyes of the girls from the other table fade off of her and find something else to talk about. The couple one table over ordered their dessert, seemingly moving on from their glances in Betty’s direction. She let out a small sigh of relief as her fingers stretched back out from her palm.

The boy continued to smile. “Saw you sitting here the last 20 minutes and got worried.”

“People were staring at me. Those girls at that back table were whispering.” She nodded to where the girls had just received their second round of drinks.

The boy- Jughead- nodded.

“I went to school with them. They feed off of drama like succubus. It’s nothing personal.” He gave her a small smile and she noticed that his eyes smiled too- a calming blue sky to contrast his dark forest of hair. “Still sucks though.” He added. “You don’t have to tell me why you’re here alone. Just wanted to relieve some of the pressure of it.”

For whatever reason, she decided to just tell him the truth. “I was stood up.”

“Really?” His face showed no indication of what he thought of this.

“I didn’t even want to come, but I did, and he didn’t even show. Another failed attempt to be a person in this world.” She didn’t know why she was saying this, she didn’t owe him any explanation and she definitely didn’t need to detail her overall life situation. But there was something about the way his eyes crinkled a little bit when he smiled, the stray curl of hair falling in front of his eyes, his easygoing smile, that made her feel comfortable with him, like he wasn’t going to judge her at all.

“Well it sounds to me like this guy blew it big time. How could be possibly stand up…” he trailed off, waiting for her to fill in the blank, and she realized that she hadn’t even introduced herself.

“Betty. Betty Cooper.”

“Jughead Jones, at your service.” The side of his mouth quirked up in a half smile and he nodded in joking deference. Cute. Her mind noted this against her better judgement.

“Well Jughead, thanks for stepping in, but you can get back to whatever it was you were doing before my pity party distracted you.”

He held up three fingers and ticked them down as he spoke.

“Three things. One: I didn’t come over here out of pity, I came over here because I’ve sat where you’re sitting. Empathy, not pity. Two: I wasn’t doing anything of any importance. Three: Aren’t you hungry?”

Betty had eaten a light lunch, knowing she’d be getting a nice dinner tonight. Her stomach had let out a few soft growls already.

“Yeah. I am.”

There was that smile again. Infectious. “Good thing we’re at a restaurant.”

Betty ran through her options in her mind. She could get up and go home, scrounge through her fridge to find something edible. Or she could stay here, with this person she knew nothing about, and eat dinner at the restaurant that had been the one thing she’d been looking forward to tonight.

“Yes. We are.”

Her waiter showed up at that moment and before Betty could say another word, Jughead was speaking again.

“A bottle of your finest wine, sir.” He announced with a dramatic flair that made Betty giggle.

The server just eyed Jughead suspiciously.

“Okay. Two glasses of your cheapest wine, please?” Jughead tried again.

The server nodded and turned to Betty. “Are you ready to order?”

She’d had twenty minutes to think about what she wanted to eat. She looked at the boy across from her, surprised at the twist the night had taken. Turning back to the server, she ordered her dinner.

“Okay. Fall Out Boy or Panic! At the Disco?” Jughead said 45 minutes later.

“In middle school, Fall Out Boy. 100%.” Betty had eaten all of her food and downed her glass of wine. She felt like she was in a different universe than she had been in and hour ago when she sat down. She and Jughead talked so easily- she’d never been so quickly comfortable with someone in her life. They’d somehow skipped the basics- job, education- and covered topics such as salad v. soup (Jughead argued that soup was the only option), an embarrassing date story of Jughead’s (“to even the playing field”) and a lengthy discussion of Brooklyn 99, before somehow landing on the topic of music they used to listen to between the ages of 12-16.

“Favorite Fall Out Boy song?” He asked this like it was the most serious matter he’d ever encountered.

“Sugar We’re Goin Down.”

Jughead nodded. “Acceptable.”

“And your favorite song in middle school was…?”

“Mr. Brightside. Still one of my favorites now.”

Betty raised her eyebrows. “Do you sit in your room and brood about girls who don’t like you while you listen to it?” She said this knowing full well that she loved the song herself.

Jughead groaned and put his hand over his chest.

“That hurt.”

Betty laughed, and glanced down at her phone. Veronica was calling her, for the second time in 10 minutes.

“I should answer this.”

“No worries.” He picked up the dessert menu. How does he still have room after the amount of food he just ate?

Betty walked over to entry way of the restaurant where it was a bit quieter and answered the call.

“V?”

Veronicas voice was laced with concern. “Betty, where are you?”

Betty sighed. “I’m at the restaurant. Your golden boy never showed.”

“What are you talking about? Which restaurant are you at?”

“Vivaldi’s.”

“Which Vivaldi’s?”

“The one on 2nd.” Betty said this carefully, afraid she already knew where this was going.

Veronica let out a loaded sigh.

“Archie went to the one on Brady St. He waited there for you for a full half hour.”

“I texted him.” Betty remembered. “He didn’t answer.”

Veronica rattled off Archie’s number, and Betty checked to find that she’d put it into her phone 1 digit off.

“I’m sorry Betty.” Veronica said. “I sent it to you wrong, and now you’ve sat at that restaurant alone for an hour. Archie went home but I can let him know about the mix up. Call him, I’m sure he’d still like to meet up with you.”

“Actually V,” Betty paused, looking back at the table to see Jughead looking over the dessert menu. “I had the best night I’ve had in a long time, even without a date.”

“Alone in a fancy restaurant?”

She watched as Jughead furrowed his brow, looking at the cake page. “With a really great guy who sat down with me when Archie didn’t show.”

As she finished her call with Veronica and made her way back to her chair, she realized that she might have gone on a fantastic date tonight after all. But did Jughead think of this as a date? Or was this just a new friendship to him?

As she sat down across from him, she wasn’t sure how to find out.

“Everything alright?”

“EVerything’s great.” She suddenly felt some nerves pooling back in her chest.

Jughead continued.

“So I’m thinking the tiramisu. What do you think?”

“I’d get tiramisu too.”

Jughead shook a stray curl of hair out of his face and smiled. “It’s the best isn’t it?”

The waiter that Betty had had all night approached their table with a look of irritation on his face. He gave Jughead a pointed look as he said “Can I interest you in dessert?”

“I’m going for some tiramisu, please.” Jughead said it cheerfully, ignoring the look on the other boys face.

“Are you alright?” Betty said cautiously. The waiters demeanor had been going downhill over the past hour and she wasn’t sure why.

“Oh I’m fine.” He plastered on a clearly false grin. “We’re just a little short staffed tonight. A guy went on break an hour ago never clocked back in.” He shot daggers at Jughead, who just smiled in return.

“That’s unfortunate.” Jughead said. “I’m sure he’ll make it up to you somehow.”

“Jughead.” The waiter sighed, as Betty put the pieces together. “C’mon man, I gave you your hour, but Toni’s gonna be back soon and when she finds you sitting out here instead of working she’s going to lose her mind.”

“Wait a minute.” Betty interrupted. “You work here?”

Jughead nodded.

“And you’re supposed to be working right now?”

“It’s fine, it’s a slow night.” Looking around the room, Betty could see that this was true. “And Sweet Pea here is my best friend in the world so I cut him a deal.”

Sweet Pea snorted. “A shitty deal.”

“Calm down. You’re serving us and one other table. Well worth my night’s pay.”

“I don’t get much pay if you don’t clock back in.” The waiter- Sweet Pea- shot back.

Betty was even more confused. “You gave up your nights pay so that you could come sit with me? What if I had told you to screw off?”

“I was really hoping you wouldn’t.”

“You know, he doesn’t do shit like this.” Sweet Pea said suddenly, turning to put his full attention on Betty.

“Sweet Pea-“ Jughead tried to cut in, but Sweet Pea put his hand in front of the other boys face and continued.

“He has never missed a shift, never shown up late, never played around. But you came in here and sat down and it was like an alarm went off in his head.” He mimicked an alarm sound. “Pretty girl pretty girl pretty girl.”

“Are you trying to embarrass me?” Jughead whisper shouted at his friend.

“Yes. I am.” Sweet Pea delivered the words directly to Jughead before turning back to Betty. “This guy has been moaning and groaning for weeks about how the world is crap and then you walk in and he tells me this is it. This is the last chance he’s taking and if the universe-“ Sweet Pea threw his hands in the air at this “he loves talking about the frickin universe- doesn’t want it, then it won’t let it happen. Apparently the universe wanted it, but I need to confirm that with you because our boss is going to be back any minute and this loser is about to lose his job if he doesn’t get back to work. So fuck the universe, do you like my lame ass friend?”

She looked at Jughead, the boy who she’d only known for an hour, who apparently thought about the same things she did, who made her laugh, who’s smile made her feel warm inside.

As she looked at him, that smile quirked up on one side of his mouth. If you’re looking for a sign, this is it.

“Yeah. I like him.”

The smile increased. “I like you too.” “Adorable.” Betty heard Sweet Pea say. “Now I will pay for your meal if you’ll just exchange numbers and make him come back to work.”

[roxannepolice]

Rey of Jakku – The Heroine of Our Time

I have a confession to make. Back in the pre-TLJ times I was a very naive Star Wars viewer. I was so blind I can’t believe I’m writing a Baudrillard-inspired meta on it now. And yes, that means I thought Rey will have a celibate hero’s journey. Partly because as a 5 year old I had a platonic crush on Luke and wanted to be like him, so Rey seemed like an excellent self-insert for that girl. I’ll say more, I believed in ReySky. I was even pointing out that Daisy Ridley has a similar face shape as Natalie Portman. But please don’t be harsh with me, I rooted for bendemption from day one. Anyway, foolish me...

Because it should have been obvious that Rey has a heroine’s journey from TFA, even if it was a good simulacrum of Luke’s hero’s journey at first. From the first, she’s running around doing the equivalent of slaying monsters in hero’s journey – breathing life back into everything, from the Millenium Falcon, through HanLeia’s marriage, Luke’s legend, to decimated Resistance and Kylo Ben’s pectorals in the future. I could talk for hours about Rey, the heroine for the third wave of feminism, one giving value to traditionally feminine traits rather than letting women be men and the very fact that hers is a heroine’s journey shows collective unconscious is far from being infertile.

But it was Rey Nobody that truly had my cultural sociologist’s heart. Because this here, this person who comes from nothing, is nothing, has no place in the history – that’s the heroine of our postmodernist times.

One of the most frequently pointed out differences between postmodernity and modernity is freedom from social structures the former gives. We are no longer predetermined by our birth, gender, skin colour, religion, nation, we can chose whatever we want to be (that is, this here is an “ideal state” of postmodernity, obviously things aren’t so rosy and there’s a strong pull against that freedom now... that I’m about to touch upon). Now, that freedom is a great thing. But it didn’t come without a price. That freedom is a responsibility. We are fully responsible for of our lives, there is no given answer to our questions, we must determine who we are. There are so many options available, we can’t even decide where to start trying them.

We’re nothing. We have no place in the story predetermined by our parents. There is no axis mundi, nothing we can take for granted about our lives, no elders to arrange our marriage, no family business to inherit, no culture to be proud of, no religion to tell us right from wrong. Now, as I said, this is the “ideal” postmodernity, or I would even say “radical” postmodernity, not necessarily visible yet. This leads to the order of simulacra, which deny the existence of meaning. Marriage is just a business arrangement (something something patriarchalism something something), religion is just fairy tales (opium something something masses), culture just an illusion. All that matters is the tangible here and now. Try to make it fun.

Simulacra are tempting. They give you all the wisdom of nonexistence of answers. They’re an empty throne waiting for you to kill your meaning and grasp it. Or impressively pectoraled galactic emperor stretching his hand out to you asking you to abandon your fake hopes and accept him for a person you fell in love with. That’s all there is to love, you know.

But the meaning rebels. People do fall in love (in all gender combinations) and if there’s an institution making life of people who want to live together easier, what’s wrong with it? People need moral guidance, and if there are thought systems providing it, what’s wrong with them provided they do actually provide moral guidance? Yes, a painting is an illusion created by colour patches – an esthetical experience is not.

Just as Rey isn’t nobody. She has her moral sense, people and ideals she cares about, her abilities (force related and other) – and that’s what will define her place in the story. Just as there is an answer to “who am I” more and more people ask themselves in a world undefined by birth.

Post-TFA expectations regarding Rey are excellent cases for the study of postmodernist collective unconscious. There is of course the one saying she can’t fall in love because she’s a strong female character in a saga about family. Now, this does make sense if you believe marriage is an instrument of patriarchal domination over women – which it undeniably has been used as – and not a bond between people allowing them to form, you know, families. On the other hand, compulsive clinging to ReySky, Kenobi or whatever – and I say compulsive clinging, because that’s what it is for many people – well, that’s the expression of ontological insecurity postmodernity gives people. In so many uncertainties it’s difficult to find or create some stable island on which to build our microcosms. Simulacra and fundamentalisms offer the simplest answers in this dire situation.

Simulacra are temptingly easy, but so is curling up in misunderstood structures to be defended at all costs. That’s the jedi tree if you like. There was nothing wrong with that tree, but Luke cared more about the tree than actually reading and thinking about the sacred texts. And so the tree had to burn to reveal its own emptiness. That’s Luke lying about the dolorous night, because how could Rey (and more importantly he) possibly reconcile the truth with the ideal? Rey didn’t seem to have a problem with reconciling them, Luke eventually did so too, but dudebros seem to have a hard time six months later.

The most difficult questions (ones concerning identity and morality) aren’t simply called difficult only are difficult because the answer is neither set in stone nor nonexistent.

Now, it is important to note that Rey herself build her world on a lie. Worse, she built her world on denial, which is a difference between her and Luke in ot, who was told a lie about his father and had no reason to believe otherwise. Making compulsive denial an axis mundi isn’t a good idea, it’s not finding a meaning, it’s taking a symbol and projecting upon it your desired meaning. Many people think, more, the junior novelization says (I’d argue the junior novelization has a habit of jumping between objective all knowing and subjective unreliable narrators), that Rey kept up hope for her parents, but I’d say it wasn’t hope. It was fear. Hope would be if she sought every way to get out of Jakku and search for informations about them. Fear was staying on Jakku knowing the informations are nothing she wants to hear. And axis mundi of denial can be easily destroyed, taking the whole world along with it. I know it could be argued that all that matters are the results, but that’s denial of importance of ideals, whose influence on our lives isn’t only on the practical level. Rey is truly an unbelievably strong person to not  crumble down immediately, but she also had no time to reflect over the situation. The audience had. And judging by their reactions I make a prediction that....

Rey’s parents will return

I hope that had the trolling impact I intended.

What I mean is that their subject will return. To drop it now would be to deny the harm they did to Rey’s psyche, even if she patched the wound up. More exactly, the subject of her belonging will return. Rey’s current stance was built on a lie and so far nothing good resulted out of building worlds on lies in the GFFA: all the far reaching consequences of denying that Anakin Skywalker and Darth Vader were one person are the best example. The destruction of Rey’s axis mundi may have, I think, three resolutions:

a symbolic one. Ritualistic if you like. She can simply return to Jakku, find their graves and yell at them, even if ending on a forgiving note. Influence of symbols and rituals is not to be denied. She admits she lied to herself, they were garbage and wasted 19 years of her life. But admits it out loud. That could be it. In fact, that would be the healthiest thing to do, just as a projection to fight was the healthiest thing Luke could offer Ben. But t’is a space drama, healthy things are rarely the most exciting ones to happen. So

she rejects all belonging, particularly the familial one with Ben. That’s what I think the more “feminist” viewers believe she did at the end of TLJ. She held out fake hope twice, once towards her parents and a second time towards Ben, she got burnt both times, now she’ll know better. The rub in this take is of course thinking what Rey held out towards her parents was hope – as I pointed out, it was fear. One could argue she went to Ben out of fear, too – because she was afraid of being the protagonist of her own story. And it’s true, but it’s also a rethorical manoeuvre because fear of being a protagonist and hope for him are two separate things and she felt them both. And remember what I said about simulacra being as tempting as an empty throne? Because doing so she would act exactly like Kylo Ben, run away from her problems rather than face them (TBH, this is what I think she wants to do right now, judging by aggressively wanting to be alone with the jedi texts in the Poe comics. And it’s understandable, but she can’t keep on doing so for two years with no consequences.) A more extreme parallel to his mistake would be that

she is offered a fake belonging. And accepts it. Trauma is severe, she’ll accept anything to be free of the pain. That’s frankly speaking what I consider the likeliest scenario or at least the most dramatic. Twice had she resisted a temptation and chosen hope (not selling BB-8, yes it was a decision of hope what other reason did she have to believe BB-8’s owner will appear?, and not accepting Kylo Ben as he is now), third time she’ll fall. This would be especially poetic if paired with Kylo Ben who twice gave in to the temptation and chosen despair (assuming Luke would actually kill him and grasping power to destroy his past; I wouldn’t include killing Han here because then he was tempted but by hope), choosing hope the third time, probably after coup. That’s where I see dark!Rey happening. I can’t shake this feeling that with all the prime jedi and yin yang symbolisms happening in this trilogy Rey and Ben as avatars of light and dark side are heading for something like two massive powers gravitating towards each other at speed so great that upon collision they first exchange places on a small amplitude before coalescing *cough* in the middle. And what would that fake belonging be? Well, Resistance. This is what so much of audience believes right now, that she has found her belonging there, more, that she should accept that as her right belonging, that it seems possible to me that with pushing the simulacra until meaning rebels going on in this trilogy, this is what Rey will try to do. But the Resistance are now just simulacrum of the good guys, and should they not live up to the symbol, they will take her along with them.

I probably shouldn’t enjoy the angst so much

I would argue that most viewers get an intuitive understanding that something is yet to emerge regarding Rey’s parents, because something in us rebels at the thought that Disney-LF would basically say “when in doubt, kids – lie to yourselves! just remember to make it a pleasant lie and you’re all gonna end up just fine”. So the first inclination is to believe Rey’s fears will turn out to be wrong hopes will turn out to be right – her parents were in fact awesome people and Kylo Ben is either lying or misunderstood what he saw in her memories. The former makes little sense because takes away from Rey her narrative power of a postmodern heroine with no preestablished position. The former – because it takes away the terrible disambiguation of truth embodied by Kylo Ben.

[mca-attack21]

If I Stay part I

Warnings: Car accident, death, hospital. A/N: This is loosely based off of the book/movie by the same title. It is Isaac x Reader and is angsty (as is practically everything else I write). To find more of my writing check out my masterlist: Here. That is where you can also find part II and III.

Life in Beacon Hills was quiet for once, dare you say even normal? The supernatural chaos had died down, and you finally had a chance to focus on being a high school student. Your boyfriend was in Europe and thrilled that for once he didn’t have to constantly worry about your safety. 

Speaking of Isaac, you were facetiming him as you were packing your bags. In less than 24 hours, you would be seeing him in person in Europe and you could not be more excited. What made things even better was the fact that your entire family was going. They would be doing the tourist destinations, and you would be spending every second with Isaac, it was going to be amazing!

By the time 6 am rolled around, everyone was packed in the car talking about all the things they were going to do once they got there. You plugged your headphones in and listened to music looking out the window. You were by far the happiest you had been in a while, and it was only going to get better. You looked down at your phone to see texts from Isaac about how excited he was to see you in less than 12 hours. 

Isn’t amazing how life is one thing and then in an instant it becomes something else- this was supposed to be a fun family vacation - and just like that...everything was about to change.

You didn’t even see the truck. You didn’t hear the screeching of the breaks. You didn’t feel the collision. You merely closed your eyes and when you opened them you were outside laying on the ground.

The first thing you recognized was the high-pitch sirens. Then you started to sit up watching all of the people darting around frantically. You caught a glimpse of the EMTs zipping up a black bag. It was your mom. You suddenly felt sick, and searched for your dad or your brother. But you didn’t see either of them anywhere. Maybe that was a good thing. Maybe that meant they were already in an ambulance on the way to a hospital.

You stood up and went to the nearest EMT, who completely ignored you. Walking towards the commotion, you went up to Sheriff Stilinski. You were so relieved that he was here, “Hey Mr. Stilinski-” but he seemed too pre-occupied to notice you. You then noticed that there were a group of paramedics hovering over someone. Your knees buckled as you saw who it was. 

How was this happening? How could you be looking down at yourself? Was that why no one noticed you, because you weren’t really there? Through your distress you barely took in what was being said of your injuries. The main thing that you figured out was that you were in a coma and that you were about to be rushed to the hospital. You couldn’t tear your eyes away from your body. You weren’t dead because you were breathing. But still, you didn’t really look alive either. 

How were you supposed to process this? You were there, seeing, hearing, experiencing everything. But everyone else was entirely oblivious to your presence. It was like you were a ghost. You had to keep reminding yourself that you weren’t actually dead so that was impossible. 

You were taken to the hospital and straight into surgery. You decided to use this time to try to find your dad or your brother. And while you were trying to figure something out, you mind wandered to your mother. You couldn’t believe that she was actually gone. The image of her being zipped into that bag would be burned into your mind forever. It was devastating to think that you would never be able to ask her for advice again, or do karaoke, or go shopping together or--

Before you could continue down that depressing rabbit hole, you saw them come in with your brother on a stretcher. He was awake and obviously scared. You wished that you could be there for him and were relieved when you saw Melissa come out to be with him. You quickly found out that he only had a few bruised ribs and was going to be fine.

You were going to stay with him, but Stiles and Scott showed up. They asked the nurses at thee nurses station how you were or if there were any updates on your family. Even though she wasn’t supposed to give out that information to anyone, she knew Scott. They two of you came in to drop off food for Melissa several times together.

“Y/n came in unconscious with multiple injuries and went straight into surgery. Her brother is awake and only suffered a couple of bruised ribs. The two of them are going to need all of the support in the world considering they’ve both lost both their parents.”

The last six words felt like bricks. This wasn’t happening. This morning you woke up with a family. Now you were an orphan. You turned around and raced towards your brother’s room. You wondered if he knew. “Everything is going to be alright, we can get through this as long as we have each other” you told him even though you knew he couldn’t hear you. He was fast asleep which was a good thing. 

After a while you decided to try to go to the operating room to see if you could figure out what was going on with you. On your way, you passed through the waiting room which was filled with your friends. The only one missing was Isaac.

Oh god- had anyone called him yet? For all he knew you and your family were on a 12 hour flight right now. 

As if she read your thoughts, Lydia spoke up, “Has anyone called Isaac?” 

After some discussion it was decided that Scott would call. You followed him out wanted nothing more than to hear Isaac’s voice. Little did you know you picked the worst possible time to leave.

“Hello?” Isaac answered. God you loved his voice.

“Hey Isaac, are you somewhere where we can talk privately?” Scott asked still trying to figured out what he was going to say.

“Yeah what’s up?” 

“It’s about y/n-”

“I know I’m excited, she’ll be here in like...6 hours,”

“No Isaac, listen to me, she and her family never made it to the airport. They were on their way there when they got into a car accident.”

“How bad was it? Is everyone okay?”

Scott tried to hold in his emotion as he answered, “It’s bad. Really bad. Neither of her parents even made it to the hospital. Her brother is okay, just a few bruised ribs. But Y/n, she’s in a coma and had significant injuries. She’s been in surgery since she got to the hospital. My mom said that it doesn't look good.” 

You didn’t know what was worse, the pain of Scott’s word making you relive the last six hours of your life or hearing Isaac’s response. Either way you knew that you had to stay strong. You tried to focus on the fact that you still had your brother, Isaac, and the pack. It was not going to be easy, but you would make it through.

“I have to go Scott,” Isaac choked out before ending the call.

You watched as the young alpha hung his head. He was trying to keep it together and be the leader that he thought everyone needed him to be. But this whole situation sucked and it hurt and he wanted to be able to fix it so badly. 

After taking a minute, the two of you went back inside. Everyone looked even worse than they did before. That is when Melissa came up to Scott and pulled him aside. The look on her face told you before her words could. Your brother was dead. Apparently he had bleeding in his brain that they didn’t catch in time.

You should’ve stayed with him. You should’ve protected him. This whole thing was your fault. They wouldn’t even have been heading to the airport if it wasn’t for you. You just wanted all of this to be over. You didn’t want to be here anymore you didn’t want to feel it.

As those thoughts left your mind, the room began spinning. You sunk to your knees feeling like all of the energy had been sucked out of you. The next time you were aware of yourself, you appeared in an ICU room. Your ICU room, you glanced at the clock, it was after five pm. 

You then focused on your body that was lying on the bed. There were a lot of tubes and wires hooked up to different machines that you were sure all served different purposes. The blood that you saw this morning had been cleaned and was replaced with bandages. All of your jewelry had been removed, and you watch was replaced with a medical identification band. You then looked around the room itself. The art on the wall was generic and the walls were painted an obnoxious white. There was a tv, but it wasn’t on.  

You tried not to think about things. But how were you supposed to ignore the fact that your family was gone. Your dad would never walk you down the aisle, you would never be able to talk to your mom again, you brother would never have the chance to grow up. Why were you still here? How were you supposed to wake up without a family? How could you leave the pack? How could you leave Isaac?

Either way, you didn’t understand how it worked. Why were you in this in-between state, and how could you get out of it? If you thought about dying would you? If you pinched yourself would you wake up? You had this internal feeling that it was up to you, but how were you ever supposed to decide this? 

It was a quarter til eight when they moved you into a different room. And it was shortly after that when Melissa started escorting your friends in one at a time. She explained to them that the doctors had done everything that they could, now it was just a matter of if or when you would wake up.

Scott was first. He sat there for a minute before reaching over and trying to take your pain. You could tell how much he was struggling to figure out what to say to you. This must’ve been the first time that it really felt real to him.

“You know, you are the one I go to when I don’t know what to say, so this is a little unfair,” he tried to joke. 

“God Y/n, I want to tell you to stay strong and fight through this, but I’m not even keeping it together right now.”

“You’re doing your best” you said even though he couldn’t hear you.

“I’m at such a loss for words. You know that no matter what I will be here for you. My mom, the pack, Isaac, you still have so many people that are here for you. And I know you know that,” he sighed struggling to find the next words.

“It’s okay Scott.”

“After losing Allison last year, I can’t even begin to imagine losing you too,” he added as tears began to escape his eyes.

“I know that today was totally screwed up. And I would be an idiot to think that there is anything that I could ever do to fix it. I could sit here for hours telling you how much you mean to all of us and why we need you to wake up. But I can’t do that, because that would be selfish. So instead I’ll sit here and tell you that you need to do what is best for you. You are always making sacrifices for other people, you are one of the most selfless people I know. So this time I want you to know that we will be okay. Even if you decide that you need to be with your family.”

He remained it your room in silence just watching the slow rise and fall of your chest which was generated by a machine. He didn’t want this to be goodbye. He wished that he could sit in there with you until you woke up and then life went back to normal. Actually, he wished that he could wake up to find that this was all just a really bad dream. But neither of those things were going to happen, and he knew that he needed to leave so someone else could come in and see you.

Lydia was next. She was wiping away tears before she even made it through the door. She walked over to your bed and sat down. Just as quickly she stood up to reposition your nightgown and pull your hair out of your face.

“There, that’s better,” she decided as she found her seat again.

“Y/n, I’m so sorry that you have to go through this. Your parents, your brother, I can’t even begin to imagine. But I want to make sure that you realize that you still have a family. My mom, Scott’s mom, the sheriff, even Derek have all said that you can move in. You already know that the pack will be there for you every step of the way, even too much so sometimes. You are not alone. So I need you to wake up,” she said that last sentence as if it were the easiest thing in the world. She then continued to talk, but you weren’t paying attention as you were too busy thinking about what life would be like if you did wake up.  

You were drawn out of your thoughts as Derek entered your room. He two went to your side and tried to take your pain, which apparently isn’t possible when someone is unconscious and unable to feel pain. He then started talking to you about how he lost his family and would be here for you through everything. He told you that if you wanted to you could move in with him for as long as you wanted.

Liam came in next and was a mess. He told you that he didn’t know how to survive this messed up town without you and that he needed you to wake up. He started talking about all the times that you had been there for him but was cut off as a nurse came in to run some tests.

You glanced up at the clock to notice that it was almost two am. You wondered why Stiles hadn’t come in yet. But just as you thought in, Stiles came in looking completely wrecked. You could tell that he had been crying. He paced around the room avoiding looking at you. Taking a deep breath before sitting down and taking your hand in his. You could tell that he too was at a loss for words, which was very abnormal. But then again, nothing was normal about any of this. 

“I hate hospitals. Every time I come here, all I can think about is that day that my mom died. Or the multiple times that one of us has almost died here. But you have always been here for me through all of that. You were there when my dad started drinking. You’ve always stood up for me at school and helped me through panic attacks. You were there when I got sick, and never gave up on me when I got possessed by the nogitsune. Without you there would be no way that Lydia and I would be together right now. We’ve spent so many hours together studying or doing research. You were on my side when no one else was with the whole Theo thing. And you’ve saved me so many times. I can’t even begin to count the number of sacrifices you have made to make sure I was okay. I wish I had the magic words to make everything better, I wish there was something I could do to erase today. But all I can do is sit here and hold your hand. I promise that if you wake up I will be there for you until you are okay again. I can promise you that you won’t be alone,” he paused searching for any sign of recognition.

“Come on Y/n you have to come back to us, you have to wake up. If you die i’ll be devastated, I will literally go out of my freaking mind. I can’t do this without you, I don’t want to do this without you,” he was now crying. 

You just sat next to him your head on his shoulder. He sat there in silence until he got a text saying that his dad was back. He stood up kissed your forehead before leaving.

You thought that he would have been the last of the visitors. But then you saw the curly haired boy that you were so in love with peek through the door.

“Y/n you have to stay. I will move back, I will do whatever you want but you have to wake up. You are my home, you’re the only thing that keeps me human. It doesn’t even matter to me where we are as long as we are together. I am absolutely in love with you and I will be there for you no matter what.” 

He kissed your check and you just thought about how much you wanted to feel that kiss and how much you wanted to kiss him. Then something happened. You fell completely unable to move, you wondered if this was what it felt like to die. 

Your whole life flashed in front of your eyes. You saw your mom and dad, you saw the day you met Stiles, you saw your brother coming home from the hospital, you saw your fifth birthday party, you saw your first kiss with Scott, you saw the day you picked out Stiles jeep. You saw your Brother’s first lacrosse game, you saw your and Isaac’s first date, you saw Allison’s death, you saw Isaac getting on the plane, you saw the crash in slow motion, you saw your parents and brother one last time, you saw your friends, and then you saw a bright light. 

Everything was blindingly white. And then you blinked. You started to freak out as you couldn’t breath. You moved your hands and tried to pull the thing away from your mouth. Your heart rate was off the chart. You didn’t notice Isaac push the call nurse button or him begging you to calm down. You did however, feel it when his warm hands gently took yours  and forced them down. You both had tears in your eyes. You were filled with fear and pain that only subsided so much by him being there. And he was filled with an overwhelming sense of relief. All of that transpired in under a minute.

Then Melissa came in with another nurse and they forced Isaac to leave and go back into the waiting room where Scott, Stiles, and the Sheriff were talking. They looked up to him a bit surprised as he wiped the tears away from his eyes. 

“She’s awake...” he said a smile forming on his face. Before he could say another word Stiles had already started sprinting down to your room. “...but the nurses need to run tests so we won’t be able to see her for a while.,” he finished. 

Scott got up and pulled him into a hug and the Sheriff went after his dork of a son to make sure he didn’t get in the way. Scott and Isaac started calling the others and letting them know the good news.

Meanwhile, the tube had officially been removed from your throat and Melissa brought you a glass of the best water you had ever tasted in your life.

“Stiles Stilinski if you go in that room you are grounded from Roscoe, Scott, and Y/n for a month,” you heard Stiles’ dad yell which brought a smile to your face.

“Okay, you just woke up, can you tell me your name and the date?” Melissa asked. You answered this and a bunch of other questions she asked to check your cognitive levels. She tested your reflexes and explained to you in detail what had happened and the extent of your injuries. She told you that you would be in the hospital for up to a week, and had a long recovery ahead of you (which thankfully Deaton would be able to speed up). As she explained what happened to your family you cried as if you were experiencing it again for the first time. After all of that, she told you that you needed to get some rest. 

As she was getting ready to leave you asked, “Can I see them first?”

“Of course,” she smiled.

She went out to the waiting room where all eyes followed her expectantly.

“She appears to be fine, but we will have to run more tests in the morning. She knows what happened and is dealing with it as well as you could expect. She needs to rest, her body can not handle too much excitement. That being said, she has asked to see you,” she said before gesturing that they could go back.    

Again, Stiles took off sprinting down the halls with Isaac and Scott not too far behind him.

“I’m *huff* so glad *huff* your okay,” he said trying to catch his breath sitting in one of the chairs next to you. 

“I’m doing better than you at the moment,” you joked. 

He couldn’t even be slightly offended because he was so relieved to see that you were awake. And it was taking everything in him not to pull you into a hug. 

Scott and Isaac entered the room, and Isaac laughed, “I don’t think I’ve ever actually seen Stilinski run that fast.”

“How are you feeling Y/n?” Scott asked as he took a seat in the chair next to Stiles.

“Pretty great considering all of the drugs they have me on,” you smiled before yawning.

“That’s good, Stiles and I are going to go home-”

“What? No I’m not. I’m going to stay here.” 

“No your not, because Y/n needs to rest,” Scott instructed his friend who seemed to catch on. He then continued redirecting his attention to you, “But the two of us will be back tomorrow morning with some stuff from your house. Lydia is going to get you a new phone, and everyone else will be dropping by throughout the day. If you need anything let us know,” he said standing and almost forcing Stiles out of the room. 

Isaac, who hasn’t stopped smiling since he re-entered the room took Scott’s seat. You pouted for a moment before using all of your strength to push yourself over to the left side of the bed and gestured for Isaac to join you. 

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” he tried to reason.

“Please.”

And that was all it took for him to cave. He was very gentle and asked you multiple times if you were okay before the two of you finally settled comfortably beside each other. You took in the warmth of his body and the faint scent of his cologne. While nothing of the past day was ever going to be okay, here, in his arms, it felt like there was a possibility of okay, and maybe that was enough.

“I love you Lahey,” you whispered. 

“I love you too Y/n, try to get some rest,” he replied lightly kissing your forehead.

[because3am-blog]

Preceding My Conclusion..

Sooo.. A short while ago a dear friend of mine suggested I put pen to paper. Someone I admire, and perhaps friend feels like a belittlement of this individual's meaning in my world, she has in fact been instrumental in my life as of late, and helped firmly fix a smile to my face during a rather turbulent period; alas I digress. I believe she lives firmly in the delusion of my intellect, the blessed fool, however, nothing ventured and all that! As to what I should write I haven't the faintest, I think beyond my humility (remember I said that), the firm belief that what I have to divulge is of little consequence, I have never felt the pull to write for lack of topic and motivation. Yet here I am, at least I suppose this could indeed prove useful as a backlog, a point of reference, proceeding my probable institutionalisation. So to you, the reader, my condolences, I can only imagine the misfortune that bestows you to end up with either the time or the inclination to humour my pen (or buttons, it is like 2017 after all, why do we even still have pens, surely we're beyond such a primitive medium of expression)! Maybe, this, right now, is one of those grounding moments in life, you, and at great haste, should take a minute to reflect, and forge a different path forward? You're right, it's not my place to say.

The only thing I feel I could possibly impart with much grounding in use, would be a glimpse of the world through my eyes, novel huh? But perhaps, I like to question things, actually everything, and maybe this could evoke a thought in you, or maybe better yet you have an answer for me? I have always appeared as a well disguised alien to many of my peers, my family especially, for reasons unknown I struggle in equal measure with a childish inability to accept the world in the condition it is in and the inability to invoke change in any capacity. Fundamentally I appreciate change starts at home, but it never seems enough, and that alone in itself is a struggle. But to my eyes (dazzlingly blue, in case you were wondering) we have fallen, almost unknowingly, into an experience of mediocrity. Perhaps it is with the advent of technology, perhaps with our busy urban lives, or could it be some sort of Palio deficit, where we have moved so far from our roots as a species we have lost track of our senses. Most likely it is my own pessimism coming into play. But I cannot shake the belief that we, here and now, are not living well, at least not to what we deserve. Allow me a minute to explain.. (Please also refer to my previous comment on humility). Life, whatever it is, is a sensory experience. We can get into all kind of long debates on its meaning, or purpose, or even its tangibility. I confess to knowing almost nothing on many of these matters, and all of the above topics could never be bought into the realm of scientific scrutiny and quantified as such, so each and every person should and will have their own personal relationship with these questions. But as to its application, that is where we do get a degree at least of authority. So it's on the up! And yet we appear so frivolous with it? I think my mind started pondering this issue when discovering the amount of people who cannot remember what they did, yesterday, last week, a month ago. And you know what, I couldn't remember either. And these are people young, people with quick lively brains, eager and waiting to pour in memory's, to catalogue your adventure, and hopefully, with any luck, to enjoy and relish in when old age arrives. In plato's republic a particular line has always stayed with me, it is within Socrates dialogue with an elder, on ageing, it's toils and  blessings... "To the man conscious to himself of no unjust deed, sweet and good hope is ever besides him". But what of the man who is not conscious of the majority of his existence? Regardless of good or bad, morals and ethics, what if you, and I, are living unconsciously. If I cannot remember now, what happened last Tuesday, in 50 years I stand less chance still. And at what consequence comes of this. On one hand I would muse that you cannot learn or grow or develop without appreciation of the effect (or affect, does anyone really know the difference?) of the events occurring in your life; and that's important. Alas I do not feel I have the patience now to further explore why this is the case ((however I can thoroughly recommend the book Descartes error (Damasio Antonio) for anyone who cannot persevere any further into this text without an informed perspective on the importance of cognitively processing experience, it is quite possibly explained even chapter 1, go wild, catch you soon!)). But fundamentally, I think it is more prudent to focus on the fact that if you are not readily absorbing your days you are probably not using them correctly. And you don't get many, really you don’t. For all that I have forgotten, I can remember with great certainty what happened on Thursday 21st of November two years ago. On that day I parted with someone more dear to me than I believed was possible, for one reason or another our union came to an end, and as if it was yesterday I can recall the feelings and emotions and memories with better resolution than a Sony super HD 4K 10578479479 megapixel display with full Dolby surround sound. And you know what, I'm glad of that. It is a moment in my life so bleak, yet so meaningful, and I carry daily the things  learned from that. But shouldn't every day be that way? Obviously by this I do not mean heartbreaking and depressing, but vivid! We seem to have coloured our days in mono. We no longer seem to relish in taking in the full splendour of each moment. We no longer notice birds in the sky, absorb the smell of the air after a heavy rainfall. (Should my aforementioned friend ever stumble upon this I am sooo going to get a comment about my needing to partake in some kind of late night adult activities, perhaps she'll be obliging?) We take the company of our dearest for granted. We no longer listen to music, at least little further than as a mild distraction from the peripheral noise of the world going about around us, or indeed our own thoughts, let's keep those dragons at bay huh? We take no comfort in the luxuries of necessity, cooking a good meal at the end of the day, tending the garden. Without another paragraph on what it is (I feel) we do not seem to appreciate I will resolve my point. It appears we are allowing ourselves to be distracted from the beauty in the world, and if we do catch a glimpse of it not nourishing ourselves on every morsel of it, but by what, if our days are so forgettable. And the pessimists in us hold on so closely to our worries and woes, we stress fitfully on matters yet to even come into fruition. I forbid the realist within a voice. Of course these phenomena can be easily explained away. But they do not have to be, what probably feels like ages ago, I attested the fact that this is one realm we can gain at least some purchase. So of late, I have been endeavouring to absorb as much of my life as I can. Not just the good, the bad too. It almost seems taboo in our sociocultural mindset to feel negative, even with negative feelings seeming to be the predominance of our days. It is appreciated that you will 'get over' whatever grievances come your way with haste and as little fuss as possible. And whilst I agree it is best to rid yourself of upset sooner rather than later, I do not believe it advisable to skate over feelings to the comfort of escape. The most sobering moments in my life have bought about great changes in my outlook, given me an appreciation of aspects of life I might have otherwise overlooked, and above all reinforced a courage within. You learn you can cope with a lot more than you expected, often better than expected. And with that courage comes the ability to navigate life confidently, freely, openly. I still have a long way to go down that path, and am far from the authority on living a life free from the restrictions of fear, but all progress is progress. I guess what I am getting at is that there is benefit to be had from all that comes your way, if you do indeed take note of it, and apply it to your advantage. If you're happy feel really really really happy, if you're sad feel really sad, love unconditionally without fear or strings, give of your heart, what benefit becomes anyone by exerting half measures of emotion, it's the only medium we have to appreciate life! I have again fallen away on a tangent. Apologies. I resume. So in an effort to absorb experience, I have spent the time to reason with myself the parts of life that make me happy, the aspects I aspire to, and at heart keep those as the focus of my days and see what benefit my way come. One thing I will give myself credit for is the ability to wonder, my brain is both my biggest asset and my greatest daemon. I have to know all things about all stuff, because what how why and when and who. Apart from sports, sports are just rubbish! Anyway, with my nice concise introduction over.... I hope you gleam I am not as pretentious as my words may suggest, I know I am as useless at life as everyone else, probably worse, and I make no claim to possess anything other than my own thoughts and beliefs; which will vacillate with the weather! And use these words as an attempt at maintaining my focus and even maybe drawing in yours.