#she’s assertive most of the time but still kind hearted

[methinmycoffee]

The girl South Park characters are slightly under appreciated. @spinthetags’s survey where Jimmy is currently beating Wendy reminds me of that. I feel like Wendy, Bebe and even Heidi are pretty iconic, and they’ve been a part of the show for a very long time. Even Heidi, even though she wasn’t given a roll until season twenty and everyone hated her (including me) because of how she ruined Cartman that season.

Also Henrietta Biggle does not count. I cannot believe she beat Bebe she is not that good, not better than Bebe (imo)

[ambrosiagourmet]

I want to talk about why I think this is the one of the most important Falin panels:

So, Falin is really nice, right? It's one of the first things we really learn about her. She's kind even to the monsters of the dungeon - choosing to ward the party rather than fight spirits and cause them needless harm.

In the above early flashback in chapter 11, we see Marcille fawning over Falin's kindness, calling her an angel. Namari calls her soft-hearted. We see Falin choose not to fight even when a zombie attacks - instead she resolves the confrontation with a hug. After the flashback, the first thing Senshi says is that Falin "sounds like quite the person," which Marcille strongly affirms.

At this point in the story, all we have seen of Falin are these impressions; she is a healer, an angel, a caretaker with an infinite well of kindness towards everyone she meets - both friend and foe.

And honestly, that remains most of what we have to go by to understand her. The only times we get to see Falin on the page, alive and just herself, are in the opening and closing pages of the story and in the brief period of time after she is resurrected.

Nonetheless, we do have some more details to work with. For one, there is the scene that The Panel is from - a short memory in chapter 75, when Marcille flashes back to while she's dying. In that scene, Falin prepares to teleport them all out, and says that she's sorry "if there is a person at [their] destination." And that's when we get The Panel.

If you teleport someone or something into another person, the person teleported into is likely to be, at minimum, severely injured. They could die.

We can see a lovely little horrifying example of exactly why in one of the Daydream Hour doodles:

So, hmm. That's not... that's not SUPER nice. Certainly not displaying the same "kindness to all, friend and foe included" we saw represented earlier. On a basic level, this adds some nuance to Falin's kindness. We see it break a little, when pushed to the limit. We see her chose to protect the people she loves above all else.

Which makes sense! As Laios says when the Winged Lion accuses him of similarly being motivated more by his friends' safety than everyone else in the dungeon, "...most people, aside from virtuous do-gooders, would feel the same way."

So, we can take The Panel as simply showing a moment of weakness for Falin. A time when she was pushed to her limits, and that "most people" selfish side of her shone through.

However... I think there's a little more going on with Falin than just her being an angel 99% of the time, except just that once. I love The Panel because I think it helps us understand that Falin isn't just motivated by kindness - she also has a desire to avoid seeing people in pain.

Isn't that the same thing?

No, no it very much is not.

Let's look at a short comic from the Falin section of the Adventurer's Bible, because I think it illustrates this point perfectly. The group is complaining about how much Marcille's healing hurts, and comparing it to Falin's, which "doesn't hurt a bit." Marcille retorts with the following:

Now, the punchline of this comic is that, despite Marcille's sentimental assertion that she's "thinking of [them]" by letting her healing magic hurt, they all still prefer to be healed by Falin.

But hey, this wouldn't be the first time that Dungeon Meshi hides a very real character beat or insight in a gag, so let's think about this somewhat seriously.

If Marcille is right (and she knows a fair bit about magic, so we can assume that she has at least somewhat of a point), then what Falin is doing isn't kind. I suppose if someone specifically requested to not feel the pain, it could be kind, but that's not really what happened here. She is the one who felt badly about the others being in pain, and she is the one who decided, without telling them or giving them a choice in the matter, to take away that pain.

Both Marcille and Falin are healing the party, but Marcille is doing it in a way that accomplishes the task in the most straight forward way, without any additional interference. Falin is going out of her way to perform the healing in a way she is more comfortable with. A way that avoids pain.

Going back the The Panel, I don't think its a coincidence that the only time we see Falin (well, non-chimera Falin) willing to do something that could hurt someone is when any potential pain will be far away from her. If she got someone hurt or killed by teleporting the party to the surface? Not only would it be far out of her sight, but she'd be dead before she had to deal with any consequences of that action.

Falin is not a confrontational person. She doesn't push when Marcille won't tell her the truth about the resurrection, and she comforts Laios about her own death - both of those things happening in the only full chapter she is alive and conscious in the whole story.

We also know that she considered accepting Shuro's proposal, despite not having any special feelings towards him, and that Falin never explained to Marcille that she wanted them to share a meal together. When she brought Marcille various foods at the academy, she just accepted Marcille's confused rejection and gave up.

And lastly, we know that she is still in contact with her parents, despite the neglect and abuse she suffered at their hands. Although the way someone chooses to handle contact with abusive or bad family is a complicated topic, which I don't want to overly simplify, I do I think this fact gets at the heart of how she handles conflict.

So many people that Falin loves have hurt her. There are understandable hurts, like Laios leaving the village, or Marcille not understanding the food. And there are bigger, far less justifiable hurts - like her parents neglecting her throughout her childhood, and sending her away to be alone at the magic academy.

It doesn't seem like Falin has ever confronted any of it directly.

And the unhealthy aspects of this kind of avoidance of pain and confrontation is one of the things that the story of Dungeon Meshi is all about. We see Laios grapple with it before he goes to kill Falin, and we see Marcille acknowledge it at the end of the story, when she tells Laios that she has come to terms with Falin's death:

Eating is a part of life. Consuming other living things is a part of life. It isn't really possible to avoid that pain - you can only hide from the truth of it. You have to be selfish everyday. You have to eat - to choose to live. To choose to take up space.

And this is something Falin embraces, too. She comes back to life, after all.

We see her choose to come back to life.

And how does she make that choice? She eats. She consumes, and then she is asked a question by the manifestation of hunger itself:

Do you want to eat more?

There is a double meaning in the Winged Lion's final words on the next page.

When I first read this, I took it as him saying: life is cruel. You will suffer. You will feel more pain.

But perhaps, especially for Falin, this also means: you are choosing a path where you must cause pain. Where you must consume. Where you must take, and must be selfish. Because eating is the special privilege of the living, and it is their burden, too. In order to stay alive, she will need to keep eating.

And she chooses that. Chooses to be selfish. It's why her resurrection scene is so important, and it's why The Panel is so important. Because Falin coming back isn't the ultimate reward for all of the party's hard work.

It's her choice. Just like it was her choice that started everything in the first place. But this time, she doesn't choose to accept causing pain for the sake of Marcille and Laios. She does it for her own sake.

[princesssarisa]

Disney's unconventional "Cinderella" (1950) (long)

Having watched most of the many adaptations of Cinderella, I've come to realize what a unique adaptation Disney's 1950 animated classic really is. Unlike Snow White, which only had a few stage and screen adaptations before Disney produced its groundbreaking film, Cinderella had already been adapted many times before Disney's turn came, and Disney's version makes a surprising number of departures from the standard Cinderella "formula." It was definitely a fresh, creative Cinderella when it made its debut, and it arguably still is. Yet because it's become so familiar in pop culture, and today so often serves as our childhood introduction to the tale, it's easy to overlook its inventive storytelling choices. The 2015 live action remake uses several classic Cinderella adaptation tropes that the original 1950 film actually subverts!

Here's a list of the often-overlooked ways in which Disney's Cinderella stands out from earlier adaptations, and from many later ones too.

Cinderella herself. Disney's Cinderella isn't a traditional Cinderella in personality. The "traditional" portrayal of Cinderella, seen in virtually every adaptation before Disney's and several afterwards too, is the portrayal I call "The Waif": a very young, fragile, melancholy girl, dressed in pathetic rags and smudged with ashes, who makes the audience want to rescue her and who wins the Prince's heart with her wide-eyed innocence and artless charm. But whether chiefly to set her apart from earlier screen Cinderellas or from Disney's earlier delicate ingenue Snow White, Disney's Cinderella is none of those things. She comes across as older, or at least more sophisticated. Nor is she waif-like, but instead combines down-to-earth warmth with ladylike dignity, even at her lowliest. She doesn't sit in the ashes ("Cinderella" is her real name in this version), and her servants' dress is humble yet clean and only slightly tattered. She's gentle and kind, yes, but also intelligent, practical, playful, sometimes sarcastic, philosophical, optimistic, genuinely cheerful when she's with her animal friends, and yet angrier and stronger-willed than virtually all earlier Cinderellas. She doesn't beg to go to the ball, but asserts her right to go, and then sets to work fixing up an old dress of her mother's for herself. Only her stepfamily's sabotage, first by keeping her too busy to finish the dress, and then by destroying it after the mice and birds finish it for her, prevents her from taking herself to the ball without a Fairy Godmother. To this day, she stands out as a complex, unique Cinderella, which pop culture too often forgets.

Lady Tremaine. Some critics today complain that Disney makes Cinderella's stepmother a total monster instead of giving her "nuance" and call her portrayal "sexist." But can't we agree that her sheer cruelty enhances the film's dramatic power? And compared to earlier portrayals of Cinderella's Stepmother, it definitely makes her stand out. In most pre-Disney Cinderellas and many after, the Stepmother is a pompous, vain comic antagonist. Once again, Disney was innovative by portraying Lady Tremaine as a dignified, manipulative, and truly sinister villain, who takes quietly sadistic pleasure in abusing Cinderella and will stop at nothing to prevent her from going to the ball or marrying the Prince. As far as I know, she's also the first Stepmother to realize before the slipper-fitting that Cinderella was the lady at the ball and to take action to prevent her from being found. That's a commonplace plot device in more recent adaptations, but in 1950 it was a creative twist!

The mice and other animals. Viewers debate whether Cinderella's mouse friends, Jaq, Gus, et al, and their misadventures evading Lucifer the Cat are a welcome addition or take away too much screen time from Cinderella herself. But there's no denying that the presence of the mice and birds is an inventive storytelling choice, which makes Disney's Cinderella stand out! And I can provide a long list of reasons why they're more than just "filler." (1) They add liveliness, humor, and appeal for younger children. (2) They gave the animators an outlet for the type of character animation they did best, rather than binding them to the harder work of animating realistic humans. (3) They give Cinderella someone to talk to besides her stepfamily. (4) They give her a way to demonstrate her kindness. (5) The struggles of the mice with Lucifer parallel Cinderella's abuse by her stepfamily, and Cinderella's undying optimism not only keeps her from despair, but inspires them too. (6) They arguably provide a further reason why Cinderella stays with her stepfamily – not only does she have nowhere to go, but an entire community of small sentient creatures relies on her for food and protection. (7) They reward Cinderella for her kindness. From the start, her friendship with the mice and birds makes her life easier to bear, both by easing her loneliness and because they do helpful deeds for her, like mending and cleaning her clothes. They fix up her mother's dress for her to wear to the ball – only the stepfamily's last-minute cruelty requires the Fairy Godmother to step in. And in the end, they're directly responsible for Cinderella's happy ending by freeing her from her locked room. They do all these things because Cinderella has protected them, fed them, made them clothes, and been their friend. Therefore, Cinderella's good fortune never feels "just handed" to her: her kindness directly earns it.

The Fairy Godmother. It's always varied between illustrators whether Cinderella's Fairy Godmother is portrayed as a grandmotherly old woman or as youthful, regal, and beautiful, but screen and stage adaptations before the Disney version virtually always took the "youthful, regal, beautiful" approach. That is, when they didn't change her into a wise, fatherly male magician-advisor, as in several opera adaptations! At any rate, seriousness and dignity were the norm for this character in most adaptations from the 19th century through the 1940s. Making her a sweet, comforting, grandmotherly figure, with a comically and adorably absent mind, was another of Disney's fresh choices.

Cinderella's entrance at the ball. We all know the classic image of Cinderella's entrance from other adaptations. Cinderella appears at the top of the grand staircase that leads down to the ballroom, and a hush falls over the assembly, as not only the Prince, but all the guests and members of the court are amazed by the unknown lady's beauty and magnificent dress. Even in versions without a staircase, Cinderella captivates the room the moment she enters. Adaptations both before and after Disney's, including Disney's own 2015 live action remake, play her entrance this way. But the 1950 animated classic subverts it! The grand staircase leads up to the ballroom, not down to it, and Cinderella's entrance isn't a triumph at first, but a vulnerable moment as she makes her way up the stairs alone, dwarfed by the splendor around her. Then, when she reaches the ballroom, no one notices her at first, because the other ladies are being presented to the Prince and all eyes are on him. But then the Prince notices her in the shadowy background as she quietly marvels at her surroundings, and leaves his post to approach her and invite her to dance. Only then does the rest of the assembly notice her, because she's the one the Prince has singled out. It's more understated and it feels more realistic than the traditional entrance, as well as more clearly symbolic of Cinderella's venturing above her station, then both literally and figuratively being led out of the shadows by the Prince's unexpected attention.

The slipper-fitting plan. Over the years, it's been fairly popular to mock the idea of using the glass slipper to find the Prince's love, as if there were no chance it would fit anyone else. Disney's version is creative by having the slipper-fitting search be the comical, hot-blooded King's idea, not the Prince's, and making it clear that it's not, nor is it meant to be, a foolproof plan to find Cinderella. The Duke points out that the slipper could fit any number of girls, but the King doesn't care if they find the right girl or not: he just wants to hold his son to his pledge to marry "the girl who fits this slipper" and force him to marry the first one who fits it. This also means that Disney doesn't do what most adaptations do and have the Prince conduct the search himself, but follows the original Perrault tale by having a gentleman, in this case the Grand Duke, do it instead. This prevents audiences from mocking the Prince for relying on the slipper instead of knowing his beloved's face.

Cinderella breaking free and asking to try on the slipper. Even though in Perrault's original tale, Cinderella asks to try on the slipper, she almost never does in adaptations. In most versions other than Disney's, including Disney's own 2015 remake, Cinderella's presence in the house (and/or the fact that she has the other slipper) is either discovered by accident or revealed by Cinderella's allies, not by Cinderella's own initiative. In some versions, she even tries to hide from the Prince and/or the search party, either out of fear of her stepfamily or because she feels unworthy of the Prince in her rags. But not Disney's animated Cinderella! First of all, she has an assertive emotional breakthrough when she calls on her dog Bruno to chase Lucifer away and free Gus to slip her the key to her locked room. Earlier on, she urges Bruno to try to get along with Lucifer, lest the stepfamily not allow him to sleep in the house – it's clear that Bruno represents her own rebellious side, and in that scene she's really talking about herself, revealing that she tolerates her stepfamily's abuse so she won't lose her own "nice warm bed" and be homeless. But in the climactic scene, when she finally sees a way out, she gives up playing nice and seizes her chance. First she unleashes Bruno on Lucifer, and then she runs downstairs and directly asks to try on the slipper, not caring how her stepfamily will react, or what the Grand Duke will think of her shabby dress, or whether the audience will accuse her of gold-digging or not. This isn't a common breakthrough in other Cinderella adaptations, but it fits perfectly (like a glass slipper, you might say) with the Disney Cinderella's stronger-willed and more self-assured characterization.

"I have the other slipper." We can probably all safely assume that when audiences first saw Disney's Cinderella in 1950, they all expected Cinderella to try on the glass slipper she lost, with her identity revealed by its perfect fit. They never would have expected Lady Tremaine to trip the footman and break the glass slipper... only for Cinderella to calmly reveal that she has the other one. It's yet another clever and unexpected twist, not seen in any other version. Not even Disney's own 2015 remake.

Disney's Cinderella deserves far more credit than it gets for being unique among the myriad versions of the tale, especially compared to the versions that came before it.

[struggling-with-drivers]

Under the Opulence - Max Verstappen

⋗ Pairing - Max Verstappen x Reader

⋗ Summary - Your family isn't kind to you, and in fact, they all think Max would be a much better fit for your sister. Max likes to differ.

⋗ Word count - 3.4k words, hurt/comfort

⋗ Masterlist - This has been finished for some time, but I've only gotten around to given it a name Feedback and reblogs are appreciated

The grandeur of your family's foyer, adorned with polished marble and intricate chandeliers, set the stage for Max’s introduction to the world you came from. As you and Max entered, the echoes of your footsteps reverberated through the opulent space, the air charged with excitement and anxiety, but most noticeably on your side, dread. 

Gabriella, your sister, emerged from an adjoining room, her presence demanding attention. With her radiant smile and effortless poise, she seemed to glide into the scene like a queen entering her court. She was the star of the family, the golden child who effortlessly commanded attention and adoration. With her striking looks and sharp intellect, she had always been the one to effortlessly charm anyone who crossed her path. Even your past romantic interests had succumbed to her allure, leaving you with the bitter taste of never good enough.

"It's okay, we're sisters," Gabriella would nonchalantly reassure you. "They weren't good enough for you if they wanted me more."

Her eyes, adorned with an air of confidence, locked onto Max, acknowledging his presence with a subtle yet unmistakable hint of curiosity. Bluntly scrutinising Max, she drank him up with her eyes, then she battered her long eyelashes a few times before slotting into the role of the perfect twin sister.

Max, a bit taken aback by the unexpected encounter, met Gabriella's gaze with a polite smile. That was all your sister needed before stepping forward, presenting her hand gracefully, a subtle gesture that belied the underlying power dynamics at play. Max, being the gentleman he was, reciprocated the greeting with a warm shake. However, as the customary exchange lingered for a moment longer than expected, you felt an unspoken tension building. 

“Gabriella, but you – my dear – can call me Gabbie.” Her voice sang in the foyer, bouncing so wonderfully off the walls. You wanted nothing more than to leave. Their hands were still intertwined. 

Instinctively, you began to withdraw your hand from his left, realising that you were caught in an awkward silence. Gabriella's grip on Max's hand tightened imperceptibly, and you hesitated for a split second, torn between asserting yourself and avoiding a confrontation. Finally, you reluctantly released Max's hand, a subtle concession that felt like surrender.

However, your parents made their grand entrance, drawn by the commotion in the foyer.

Gabriella finally let go of Max. She stepped back, allowing a brief respite from the charged exchange. 

Your mother, an elegant woman with an air of sophistication, approached with a warm smile. "Oh, there you all are! We were starting to wonder when you'd make it to the heart of the festivities."

As she spoke, her eyes lingered on Gabriella and Max, a subtle but knowing gleam in her eyes. It was as if she sensed the unspoken currents beneath the surface. Your father, a more reserved figure, stood beside her, observing the scene with a discerning gaze.

"Mom, Dad, this is Max," you introduced, trying to steer the conversation away from the palpable tension that lingered.

With an air of practised nonchalance, Gabriella returned her attention to Max, a playful smile gracing her lips. "Well, Max, it's a pleasure to finally meet you. I've heard so much about you," she purred, her words leaving an ambiguous trail of intentions.

She tried to grasp his hand once again, but instead, he started helping you out of your coat to keep his hands busy.

Max, still wanting to leave a good impression, responded with a friendly smile. "Likewise, Gabriella. Your sister here has spoken highly of you too," he said, casting a glance in your direction, before he extended a polite hand toward your parents, exchanging pleasantries as he tried to steer the conversation towards the two newcomers in the foyer. 

Gabriella subtly positioned herself beside him, a silent claim reaffirmed. The atmosphere remained charged, your parents seemingly ignorant of the intricate dynamics playing out before them. The dreadful feeling returned to you as your mom made eye contact with you once more. You averted your eyes.

Gabriella, seizing the opportunity, looped her arm through Max's, as if marking her territory. "Max, let me give you a tour of this magnificent place. There are so many things you haven't seen yet," she exclaimed, her tone holding a mixture of innocence and mischief.

Your heart sank as you watched them disappear into the lavish corridors of your family home.

“Let them go, honey. I’m sure he will be quite interested in our family’s history.” Your mother commented, foregoing the formality of any other type of recognition or greeting to you as she and your dad disappeared after Gabriella and Max.

Leaving you on your own in the opulent foyer, you wished to leave once more.

Determined to regain some semblance of composure, you wandered into the adjacent parlour, a room adorned with plush furniture and rich tapestries. The soft glow of antique lamps cast a warm ambience, but even the comforting setting couldn't dispel the growing unease. You settled into a chair, the plush upholstery offering little solace for the whirlwind of emotions swirling within. The room seemed to close in on you as you anxiously waited for Max and Gabriella to return. The dreadful feeling intensified with every passing moment, and your mind raced with unsettling thoughts.

Finally, the door swung open, and they entered the parlour. Gabriella's laughter echoed through the room. Max wore a polite smile, seemingly having enjoyed the tour, but you couldn't shake the feeling that Gabriella was orchestrating an elaborate performance.

"This place is quite… something," Max said, casting a glance in your direction as if seeking reassurance or acknowledgement. You tried to smile at him. Gabriella, however, continued to dominate the spotlight.

"We have quite the family history," she replied with a sly smile, her eyes flickering between Max and you. "It's a shame you won't be able to hear all the juicy details."

You forced another smile in response, but the unease gnawed at you. As they settled into the room, Gabriella strategically took the seat next to Max, her gestures and expressions aimed at enchanting him right before your eyes.

The conversation flowed effortlessly between them, a dance of words that excluded you from its rhythm. You felt like a mere observer in your own home, watching as Gabriella captivated Max with tales of the family's past, her laughter ringing like an enchanting melody.

Your attempts to engage in the conversation were met with fleeting glances as if your presence were an afterthought. Gabriella was ever so quick to recapture Max’s attention, despite your valiant efforts to seek a way into the discussion.

Desperate for a reprieve, you finally excused yourself under the pretence of attending to something in the kitchen. As you escaped the room, the weight of the evening bore down on you, and you couldn't shake the sinking feeling that this family gathering had become a stage for a performance in which you had no choice but to play a reluctant supporting role.

In the kitchen, you busied yourself with trivial tasks, the rhythmic clinking of dishes providing a brief respite from the orchestrated drama in the parlour. The tension that had followed you from the foyer to the parlour lingered like an unwelcome guest, and you desperately sought a moment of solitude to collect your thoughts.

As you absentmindedly stacked plates from the dishwasher, your mother entered the kitchen, her gaze lingering on you with a knowing expression. It was as if she could sense the turbulence beneath the composed facade you were desperately trying to maintain.

"Oh, dear, are you alright?" she inquired, her tone carrying a hint of concern.

You forced a smile, attempting to deflect the obvious discomfort. "I'm fine, just needed a moment away from the chatter in there."

Your mother's eyes softened, but there was a glint of curiosity. "Well, I must say, Gabriella and Max make quite the pair. They look so good together, don't you think?"

The question hung in the air, a subtle prod at the heart of the matter. You felt a knot tighten in your stomach as you processed the implications of your mother's words. It was a commentary that cut through the facade you were desperately trying to maintain.

"Oh, Mom, they're just chatting. It doesn't mean anything," you responded, attempting to downplay the situation.

Your mother, however, seemed undeterred. "I don't know, dear. They do seem to have a certain chemistry, don't you think? They'd make a handsome couple."

The weight of her words settled on you like an anvil, and you struggled to find a suitable response. The kitchen, for a brief moment, had been a sanctuary, but now felt like a confessional where you were forced to confront the complexities of your feelings.

"I...I don't know, Mom. It's just an introduction," you stammered, your attempts to maintain composure faltering.

Her gaze lingered on you for a moment, and then she sighed, a knowing smile playing on her lips. "You know, sometimes we find unexpected connections in the most peculiar places. And if they happen to find something special tonight, well, we should be happy for them, shouldn't we?"

You felt a surge of frustration and helplessness.

“It’s such a shame his looks just aren’t quite there, but he certainly has other features to make up for it. Wouldn’t you say so as well? Yes, a shame, but Gabriella has always been so kind-hearted. I’m sure she doesn’t mind either.” Your mother continued, before finally smiling at you. 

Her message was loud and clear, as she had expressed her approval of Max as a suitable match for Gabriella. 

Your mother wanted you to break up with Max and hand him over.

It was as though Max was a commodity to be exchanged, a possession for your sister to play with until she grew tired and moved on. It made you feel sick to the stomach. 

“Dinner is all ready, your father just put down the roast on the table.”

You followed your mother into the dining room, the scent of the roast filling the air. The grand table, adorned with fine china and polished silverware, became the stage for the next act in this familial drama.

As you took your seat, Max seated next to you, your parents strategically positioned Gabriella opposite Max. The tension in the room was palpable, and you couldn't shake the feeling that every word and gesture would be scrutinised.

"So, Max," your mother began, her eyes flickering between Max and Gabriella, "how did you find our home? Quite exquisite, isn't it?"

Max, thankfully pr-trained, nodded appreciatively. "It's a stunning place with so much history."

Gabriella's eyes gleamed with satisfaction, and you braced yourself for what would come next. Your mother, however, wasn't finished.

"And speaking of history," she continued, casting a pointed look at Gabriella, "our family has quite a rich one. Gabriella, why don't you share some of the highlights? Max might find it fascinating."

“It’s alright, I think I heard enough earlier,” Max told your mom, “I would much rather hear childhood stories about her.” He turned his head, making himself able to look into your eyes, and you felt the dread spread. Despite the way he looked at you, it did nothing to calm you down, knowing your parents would not deliver what Max was expecting to be told about.

Max's genuine interest in hearing about your childhood seemed to momentarily disrupt the carefully choreographed performance. Your mother, however, skilfully manoeuvred to maintain the narrative she had meticulously constructed.

"Oh, Max, you're sweet," your mother said, offering a polite smile, "but Gabriella's achievements are the true highlights. She's always been the shining star of our family."

Your sister, seizing the opportunity, began to regale Max with tales of her academic triumphs, artistic pursuits, and social accomplishments. As she spoke, you felt the distance between you and Max widen, a chasm fuelled by your parents' insistence on casting Gabriella as the focal point of the conversation.

Max, sensing the discomfort, tried to redirect the conversation toward a more inclusive narrative. "I'm sure there are some other stories you could tell, perhaps some that aren’t about Gabriell-?"

“Please Max, do call me Gabby.” Gabriella interrupted Max.

Your mother exchanged a knowing glance with your father before responding, "Oh, there are plenty of stories, but I think Gabriella's achievements are what make our family truly special. Don't you agree, Max?"

Max hesitated for a moment, his frustration simmering beneath the surface. However, not wanting to create a scene, he nodded uncomfortably, "Yes, I guess Gabriella is quite accomplished."

Gabriella shot you a coy smile, her triumph was evident in the subtle control she exerted over the narrative. As the conversation continued to revolve around her, Max's attempts to steer it in a different direction seemed to hit an invisible wall.

Your parents, seemingly oblivious to Max's growing discomfort, continued to extol Gabriella's virtues. The room buzzed with the clinking of silverware and the murmur of praise, all while you sat there, a silent observer of your own family dinner.

As dessert was served, Max couldn't hide the subtle tenseness in his shoulders. He glanced at you, a mix of empathy and frustration in his eyes. Despite the challenging circumstances, you appreciated his efforts to bridge the gap.

When Max tried to ask about your childhood again, your mother skilfully redirected the conversation. "Oh, Max, we can talk about that another time. Let's focus on the present moment and enjoy the evening."

Your sister, seizing every opportunity to keep the spotlight, interjected, "You know, Max, I've always been curious about your interests and aspirations. Tell us more about yourself."

The shift in attention to Max was noticeable, but it wasn't the genuine interest he had hoped for. Instead, it felt like another tactic to steer the conversation away from you. Max, his patience waning, briefly shared short anecdotes about his work, nothing he hadn’t already told to the media. However, his eyes kept returning to you, his fingers intertwined with you. As though you were oblivious to the way your sister's feet – under the table – were trying to urge Max to look at her. 

The night wore on, and Max's frustration continued to build, a silent storm brewing within him. The genuine smile he had worn upon arrival had now transformed into a tight-lipped expression, betraying his growing discontent.

Your dad had taken it upon himself to serve a glass of whiskey to him and Max, while your mother brought forth an array of finger foods and other light and savoury snacks. Your family settled around the nice fireplace in the big sitting room, it’s even more extravagant and opulent than the smaller parlour room you had tried to take refuge in earlier in the day. 

When your sister, seemingly oblivious to the tension, leaned closer to Max, her voice dripping with false sweetness, "You know, Max, we're so thrilled to have you here. It's not often we get such distinguished company." 

Max, no longer willing to play along, shifted uncomfortably on the beige couch. "Thank you for having me. It's been... quite an experience," he replied, his tone carrying a subtle edge.

Your father, still under the illusion that the evening had gone splendidly, raised his glass. "A toast! To family and new beginnings."

Max's frustration reached its peak as his eyes locked on your dad’s raised glass. Max abruptly stood up, the sound of him slamming his glass down echoing in the sudden silence. The tension in the room was palpable as he looked directly at your parents.

"I appreciate your hospitality, but I can't ignore the blatant disregard for your own daughter," he said, his voice measured but firm. "I came here hoping to learn more about her, but it seems the spotlight is reserved for someone else."

Gabriella's eyes widened in feigned innocence, a practised mask that Max wasn't buying. Your parents exchanged uneasy glances, finally sensing the budding cracks in their carefully constructed facade.

"I won't be a part of a charade that dismisses her existence," Max continued, his frustration now laid bare. "If you can't appreciate the amazing person she is, then I want no part in this. Goodnight."

Without waiting for a response, Max pulled you from the couch. As you both retreated from the sitting room, leaving behind the echoes of tension and shattered illusions, you felt a strange mixture of relief and sorrow.

Max led you through the ornate hallways of your family home, the grandeur of the surroundings now feeling suffocating. The air outside was cool and crisp as you stepped onto the front porch, the distant sounds of the night providing a stark contrast to the stifling atmosphere within.

He turned to you, his eyes reflecting a mix of frustration and concern. "I'm sorry, I didn't expect it to be like this."

You managed a small smile, appreciating his genuine intentions. "It's not your fault. Thank you for trying."

Max sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Your family... it's not what I expected."

You nodded, feeling a lump forming in your throat. "It's never been easy."

"Look, I don't know what's going on, but you deserve better than this," Max said, his voice filled with sincerity. "I'm here for you, no matter what."

As Max navigated the darkened streets, a palpable tension and heavy silence filled the car ride home between you and him. The glow of streetlights cast fleeting shadows across his determined expression, the lines of worry etched into his brow.

You sat beside him, lost in your thoughts, the events of the evening replaying in your mind like a broken record. The weight of the strained interactions with your family weighed heavily on your shoulders, a burden you couldn't shake.

Max glanced at you from the corner of his eye, his concern evident in the furrow of his brow. "Are you okay?" he asked softly, breaking the silence that had enveloped the car.

You sighed, your gaze fixed on the passing scenery outside the window. "I don't know, Max. Tonight was… a lot. I’m sorry for Gabriella."

“They shouldn’t have said any of that.” Max ignored your comment, “that’s not- even I know that’s now how you treat family.”

“I’m sorry for Gabriella.” You tried to tell him once again, instead finding his hand reaching out to tangle it into yours. 

As Max's hand intertwined with yours, a comforting warmth spread through your fingertips, grounding you in the present moment. His touch was a lifeline, offering solace amidst the turmoil that had consumed your family gathering. You squeezed his hand gently, appreciating the silent support he offered.

Max pulled the car over, letting him turn to you and gaze into your eyes.

"I know you're sorry, love," Max whispered, his voice laced with understanding. "But you can't take responsibility for someone else's idiotic words. Gabriella's actions were uncalled for, and it's not your parents should have stopped it, not… Encouraged it."

His words resonated deep within you, reminding you that you were not solely accountable for the strained relationship with your parents. The weight on your shoulders began to lighten as if Max's presence alone could alleviate the burden.

You turned to him, finally meeting his concerned gaze. "Thank you, Max. Your support means the world to me."

He smiled softly, his eyes filled with tenderness. "I'll always be here for you, no matter what. We'll get through this together, alright?"

A surge of gratitude washed over you, grateful for the unwavering love and understanding Max consistently provided. You squeezed his hand once more, as he pulled out of the ditch. 

The car continued to glide through the darkened streets, but the heavy silence had transformed into a comforting embrace of shared vulnerability.

As the glow of streetlights continued to cast fleeting shadows, you realised that it was in the darkest moments that the strength of your relationship with Max shone the brightest. And with his hand clasped firmly in yours, you knew that together, you could weather any storm or awful family dinner.

⋗ a/n - thank you for reading this, sorry that it took so long to post this one

[oxenfreeao3]

I need Caitlyn “if I cannot become ungovernable I will become the government” Kiramman to have a full-on Machiavellian anti-hero arc so that The General Public finally takes her seriously.

Analysis:

I've mentioned it before, but Caitlyn's character embodies nearly all the traits of a Machiavellian with high cognitive empathy.

Firstly and most obviously, she manipulates systems and people to accomplish her goals. Vi would still be in Stillwater and much of Act II and III would not have happened if Caitlyn weren't willing to cleverly and unscrupulously lie and forge her way to success.

We can argue she's not a very good liar. I argue that doesn't really matter. One, her lies work. Two, she is clearly ready and willing to deceive so long as she thinks it's for a good reason. The inclination is what matters. I think the important question to ask is, "What is this character willing do to?"

Secondly, she's huge on agency. It's one of the main features of her character. She demonstrates (from the five-factor model): achievement-striving, assertiveness, self-confidence, emotional invulnerability, activity, and competence.

Regarding emotional invulnerability. I want to touch on this because I think it's missed. Caitlyn is an extremely guarded character. She reveals almost no personal information about herself, even to Vi. During high-stress situations, she flinches from her own vulnerability, tries to play it off, or compartmentalizes heavily.

Vi is the bleeding heart, the open book, the one who can't guard worth a damn (it's not even subtext, other characters say this to her face and I believe it has a dual meaning).

Meanwhile, Caitlyn waits until Vi is vulnerable with her and shows her respect before even giving Vi her name. (I have more to say about the "Cupcake" scene but that's for another time).

Other aspects of a Machiavellian character include:

Cynicism, selfishness, callousness, arrogance, deliberation and orderliness.

I argue that Caitlyn's character hints at the first one, gets away with the next three because she's "sweet," and blatantly embodies the last two.

Caitlyn in S1 is a sharp edge sheathed in kindness. We like what she's currently doing and think she's a Good Person because her trajectory aligns with our own sense of right and wrong. But Caitlyn is doing what she wants. What she thinks is right. Again, it's not subtext.

Marcus: "She does whatever she wants, I can't control her!"

And in S2, I think the same behaviors we currently love in her could easily be used to spin her down a corruption arc that leaves us a bit aghast -- but shouldn't leave us surprised.

I argue such an arc would be squarely in character.

Paraphrasing from the AMA:

"Everyone is a little bit opposite of who they are in Season One."

What will that mean for Caitlyn?

I don't know, but the recipe for a very interesting time is written all over her character.

[shadowbriar]

Regulus Black ‐ Jasmine, Lavender, and Poppy

Pairing : Regulus Black x (she/her) Reader Word Count : 0.6k Warning : Nothing, just pure fluff. Synopsis : Regulus made sure that she would never forget his scent ever again. Notes : My first blurb. Should I make more of these? If you like this story and would like to support me, please visit my kofi page and perhaps get me a coffee?☕  

She remembers his scent well. That very special smell of oud and leather, something that portrays luxury and obscurity. Something that feels like home. Something that screams him— Regulus Arcturus Black.

But poking on Regulus has always been one of her most favourite things to do. Even before they were romantic, teasing him has always been second nature for her. His reactions have always brought her bliss. Their harmless banter is what fuels their day and it feels like the perfect time for her to pull the first taunt of the day.

"I don't smell you from the Amortentia," She lied, teasing her boyfriend whose brows are now pinched high from the offensive words she spilled "I smelled cinnamon, wet grass, and linen."

"Bullshit, I smelled you. There's no way you smelled someone else."

Shs shrugs, closing her textbook that hasn't been read ever since they entered the library, "Maybe you smelled wrong."

"I'm never wrong about these kinds of things."

"Yeah?" She challenges, propping her chin in the palm of her hand "What did you smell?"

"I smelled jasmine, lavender, and poppy."

"That doesn't smell like me. You're just listing random flowers."

Regulus raised an eyebrow, "Your perfume's base is jasmine. You drop a few lavender oil to your seal wax on all of our letters. Your garden is filled with poppies. You are jasmine, lavender, and poppy."

A smile blooms on her face. It was one thing to be satisfied by teasing your boyfriend and another to have him spelling the little details of you. Regulus has always been the observant party of the two, she just never realised how much of her he's taking notes of.

"Also, Love, your house is always decorated with those three flowers on every corner. You are what I smelled from Amortentia. You are my soulmate."

"Well, no one said Amortentia smells like your soulmate. They say it smells like someone you're attracted to so maybe that's why." She continues her scheme, concealing her blooming heart "Maybe I'm attracted to someone else now."

Regulus' brows rose higher, looking even more appalled at her words, "Are you being serious right now?"

She shrugs.

Regulus stood from his seat. Perhaps teasing him in the library when they're the last people there wasn't such a brilliant idea. Merlin knows what he might do now. Regulus might be a calm and collected person but wrong poke and you'll wake the fury inside him.

She started to inch away, pushing her seat back until it hit the wall, giving her no other space to escape. Regulus kneeled down, levelling to her eye level and eyes her deeply. His brows were still knitted in displease but his eyes were soft. Her plan to keep an aloof expression has evidently failed as a playful smile cracks on her lips, anticipating for his next move whilst praying that he wasn't genuinely angry.

"You're a menace." He says before kissing her.

Regulus pulled her chair closer, locking her in place as he put his hands on her sides. It wasn't like she's planning to leave, anyway. No one in their right mind would want to go when they're being kissed by him, especially with such an intimate and asserting position.

One hell of a man, Regulus is.

A victorious smile was plastered on her face when they pulled away. It was a short kiss. Just enough for him to prove to her just how wrong she is about the scents she's attracted to. Regulus knew that she was lying, that she was just trying to get his reaction, yet he complied with her charade anyway.

Regulus now stands from his position. He took off his robe, tossing it carelessly to the seat he occupied a couple minutes ago. He then takes off his jumper, making her cheeks burn from the sight. He surely knows how to keep her around.

"The library might not give you the best privacy if you're planning to go nude, Love." She comments.

Regulus rolls his eyes, handing her his jumper, "Wear it."

"Why?"

"So you won't ever forget my scent again."

[angyo]

I unironically love csm 167. Not for horny, but because it's so fucked up on so many layers and if it follows up on even 1 of those layers of fuckery it's gonna be explosive.

Denji:

He's already been sexually assaulted so many times. Every time he has a dream it gets monkey's pawed into fucking him up worse. He doesn't know what he wants. Deep down he just wants to be loved and be able to trust that if he puts his soul into the hands of another person it won't get crushed. But his love for aki and power was used to break him. His love for reze and makima betrayed. His love for nayuta and the dogs used to goad him into violence. Everyone he opens his heart to either dies or uses him, so all he has left is this hope that sex gives him the love he so deeply needs without the commitment that makes it dangerous. He thinks getting his rocks off might give him the same love he needs without the possibility of having it stolen from him. An orgasm is an orgasm, even if the other person immediately betrays you you still got "love" in a far more transactional and solid sense.

But that's not how it works. Post-orgasm is a very vulnerable time, especially if it's from a high tension surprise hand job (rape) in a backalley. It's his last dream that hasn't been ruined yet and it happened after a castration attempt and will likely end with Asa looking at him like a disgusting monster and vomiting on the ground.

Yoru:

Of course the war devil can't process love. She and Asa share a body and swap a lot of emotions but they're still different people and when something they now feel strongly goes so directly against all of their lives experience they'll react in unpredictable and possibly dangerous ways, ESPECIALLY war. Yoru got the memory of the first kiss meaning asa probably got it too. Asa's not stable, she's so desperately lonely this revelation that denji never stood her up must've felt so relieving. But yoru was in charge when asa got this flood of emotion. War isn't about love or compromise, it's about stealing from the weak and kind, asserting absolute authority, and a lot of rape and pillaging. Of course when faced with such a human and kind emotion as love war doesn't care about anything but satiating the most immediately available impulse in a way that asserts her "superiority" and leaving before she'd have to actually confront the emotional turmoil she caused.

Asa:

Oh she's fucked. Just like denji she is desperately lonely and always has love ripped away from her in the cruelest ways. But unlike him, she just pretends she doesn't need it and tries to feel superior so she doesn't have to feel the real depth of her loneliness. Yet she can't help but love anyway, and every time she falls into the trap of caring it dissolves all of her defenses and when it's betrayed it breaks her core. She is sex-repulsed, which is understandable for a teenager and possibly a sign of asexuality but thematically can be tied to her fear of opening her heart to damage. There's a difference between finding it disgusting on a reasonable level and being so viscerally disgusted by the thought it can drag you into hell. Sex is vulnerable. Your expose a lot of really sensitive organs to each other and stimulate hormones that make you open yourself up and expose yourself to risks like stds. When it feels like all her vulnerabilities get hammered against her of course she'd be scared of such a vulnerable act.

And now she's got cum on the only hand she has left, denji's spit in her mouth, and the lingering feeling of his dick on her, again, ONLY REMAINING HAND. And he's going to need aftercare, and really substantial care because she just sexually assaulted him and he doesn't know she's 2 different people. He's either gonna be so immediately depressed by the anticlimax of his first time he starts isolating or so desperate for this sex to be the time it finally means love he clings to her but it's gonna be terrifying to her because yoru took her subconscious vulnerability and externalized it to hurt the guy she just realized might be the only person to actually give a shit right now. She loves him and as soon as she lets that emotion wash over her it gets used to melt him into a puddle of desperation and vulnerability right in her arm that is so far beyond anything she can emotionally handle it could make him hate her forever. The only one who ever gave a shit and in the span of a couple minutes her body has been used to deconstruct him into a million little pieces she couldn't possibly put back together.

Not to mention the fact that in assaulting denji yoru also sexually assaulted Asa but denji doesn't know that. They both need immediate calming that isn't going to happen.

And she can't run away from yoru. The girl who assaulted her, exploited every vulnerability she has, and ruined her only chance is in her head. Even if denji realizes his worth and runs away asa is still stuck. Her assaulter is in her head, and the only hand she has left is covered in jizz.

[the-traveling-poet]

Her Kind Heart

How, after all he had seen her endure, could she still smile? How could her heart be so full after being so broken? It was something Levi had admired, and soon came to love. How could he not, when she taught him many a value?

Pairing: Levi x F!Reader

Warnings: none, just platonic-to-lovers, Levi POV

Taglist: @21aurora @deepzombieyouth @braunsbabe @pelicanpizza @humanitys-strongest-brat @raginginferno267 @ackermanswifee If you’d like to be added to the taglist for new Levi contact, just DM me :)

A/N: I got this request over on Wattpad, but I wanted to post this here as well. Also ps, I meant to post this earlier in the day (for me, in EST time) but I got into a fight with a drunk man aka my father so it got postponed :)

Time and time again, he’d witnessed battle outside the walls harden and change many a cadet and captain alike.

They would become closed off, emotionally absent or angry. Some became paranoid and even lashed out against command from angers and griefs understood by themselves only.

Yet others succumbed to their traumas and became a shell of who they once were; a mere shadow of a soldier fighting for a cause they no longer believed in.

Why then, if this held true more often than not, hadn’t she fallen to these outcomes? How was her fate different than anyone else before her?

He’d seen her around HQ often enough to notice her usual cheer undiminished by the obstacles they all faced inside and outside the walls as Scouts. Ever she remained as radiant as the day he’d met her, against the odds he had silently betted upon.

Ms. Y/N L/N. She was as puzzling as she was alluring.

He’d supposed her rise in ranks might dull her gentle approach to her comrades and that kind twinkle ever present in her eye, but these things hadn’t changed. Not once. He’d never once seen even a flinch in her presentation.

How could someone witness such carnage and hopelessness, and yet remain so positive? So in control over their own heart and mind? Yet she managed, with a grace that surprised even the most weathered of veterans.

He’d managed to ask her once, masking indifference to her response despite his inner turmoil. And her answer had been as assertive as ever she always was;

“Someone needs to bring forth the morale in the barracks around HQ, so I stepped up. Many have and many will, so why not me also? Is that an issue?”

“I never said it was an issue, but how can you have the energy for it? Many have filled those shoes and fallen into the same pit they tried to help others out of,”

Levi had recounted, leaned against the stone wall at his back.

At first, he figured by her silence that Y/N wouldn’t have an answer; something he had been banking on. But to his surprise, she eventually met his eye from across the narrow hall with a kind and somehow knowing smile adorning her face.

“Why give up based on another’s downfall? They did what they could with what they had, and that’s what I plan to do. They deserve happiness just as much as myself. As we all do. Even you, Captain. Especially you.”

He’d looked at her differently ever since.

Sure, he could have snapped back with some crude imitation of humor, or pressed his rank above her at the time to show he’d know better than her how far morale got one in this line of work.

But something in him just couldn’t fathom arguing her point; she was right, after all.

And she’d spoke with such a calm certainty, that even he believed her the moment she spoke.

He began to see just how wise in the way of emotions she could be, if one paid close enough attention. And after that first official interaction, he certainly had.

As time passed, in which he mulled her response over daily, he supposed he’d never thought of things her way.

Morale was important to maintain within one’s own squad, to follow command efficiently and without doubt in your leader to complete the mission; or at least attribute to it.

He’d learned this through his training with Erwin following his ‘capture’. So of course, he was sure of this knowledge. Hadn't he been?

But to instill that hope in those around you who couldn’t find it within their own mind and heart to have a hope beyond their mundane lives? Especially those outside the line of command and even outside the military itself that had no connection to her personally? To show them that same hope and leadership, without the military rank to back it up…What would she gain?

What of the merchants he’d witnessed her pass and bid good luck onto? What of the common people she would pass on horseback on her way back into the safety of the walls after an expedition and offer her condolences before she even recognized her own exhaustion? How had they earned her personal reassurance?

He admired this about her, admittedly. It wasn’t often he found himself admiring others, he later came to realize. Not because he felt himself superior to anyone; far from it. Rather, he supposed he’d never allowed room in his heart for such grievances and responsibility outside his personal loyalties. Of course, his loyalties were to saving and freeing mankind; but had he ever considered the finer details of emotion ranging into areas he hadn’t yet reached himself? Or at least, allowed himself to reach?

That was where his friendship with Y/N had first blossomed; over idle chitchat debating one’s idea of freedom, should it come to humanity one day. Soon enough they debated their differing opinions on affairs both inside and outside the military; some of which he came to realize he agreed with her on over his own views. Her care for those around her, regardless of the profit it would gain her, which often times was none, continued to surprise him.

A sullen cadet at wit’s end, a Captain stressed to their limits, a child in the town with a quivering lip…She would tend to them as if they were her own. This in itself took him the longest to understand. And even when he had finally asked, and she had explained, it took him a little longer to fully grasp.

“That cadet wasn’t assigned to you. It’s their Captain’s job to see to their well-being,” Levi had hummed, encountering her after such an event. Y/N had merely shrugged, a warm smile still perched on her lips.

“I didn’t see their Captain around; yet they still looked so distraught.” She’d shrugged.

“You aren’t their mother.” Levi had huffed, though there was no venom to his quip. Y/N seemed to pick up on this, and offered no scowl.

“Why couldn’t I be, at least temporarily? We all need unity in times of uncertainty. That’s what makes us human.”

And how that phrase had stuck with him for years to come. Perhaps it wasn’t so wrong to reach out for guidance and company when needed…

It wasn’t until a handful of years into knowing her as his trusted friend and companion did he realize what allure she held. Not just in spirit, but in beauty; though he supposed deep down he’d always seen her attraction.

Wether it was from the looks he observantly noted with distain from the townsfolk or fellow military men and women in the MP that made him feel bitter, or from the time spent comfortably in her company being guided and comforted by her words alone; he’d realized a little late that he’d fallen for her wise and caring charisma.

Another handful of years would pass with him being stuck in his own denial and self diagnosed delusion, until he’d have the courage to face these ever growing emotions within his heart when they became too much for him to keep silently to himself. And perhaps even a little longer still until he’d actually act upon them.

But for the meantime, he was content with keeping her closer than anyone else around him, devoting his all to her saftey and her well-being in hopes to repay her own emotional support and understanding to him all these years.

Until he deemed the time was right to confess his heart, her ever present serene and calming aura was something he knew he couldn’t ever give up.

[10underoot2]

Character Study - The chilling warmth of Haein

Haein is a really misunderstood character. She has dark humour. She cares immensely but doesn't show it very openly. She hides her feelings cause she doesn't like to be vulnerable. She's very quick to say things that protect her emotions and she bites with her words just to protect herself. But all of this assertive feistiness comes at a cost. People tend to misunderstand and write Hong Haein off as mean, rude, cold and difficult to live/work with.

Her personality and tendency to appear uncaring has a lot to do with the lack of warmth she received by her family especially her mother. When she meets Hyunwoo she's no different, she puts on no pretences. Over time she warms up to him and shows him her softer more vulnerable side - all of which I'm sure aided in him falling for her deeply. But then that damned chasm occurs, and Hyunwoo much like the rest of the world forgets Haein's soft heart and soul that live underneath the iron clad armour she wears. It hurts me when I think about the pain she experienced realising she's misunderstood even from the man who once showered her with unyielding love and warmth.

Some incidents of Hyunwoo misunderstanding her are so interesting:

- The scene where Haein requests/orders Hyunwoo to accompany her to the hospital.

I love that it was shot from both perspectives. In her mind she sounds extremely soft and worried. It was a request meant to be delivered that way. I'm sure Haein couldn't register what her tone was because her intention were so soft. Why would he reject my request, He's free I'm just asking him to accompany me? But Hyunwoo had just heard about the will. That paired up with the continuous blows he's received the past two years were too much for him to take a moment and understand that this is how she's always spoken.

-The rain scene after their Yongduri night stay (I hold the belief that Haein did indeed often wait up for him).

Haein says: 'I really wasn't waiting for you.' to which Hyunwoo replies 'I know better than anyone, you're not the kind of person who would wait up for me.' In the scene you can see Haein slightly taken aback and offended by that. Because she is the kind of person who waits up for him. Her offence seems so justified. Because why can't Hyunwoo of all people see the real her. When did he forget to understand her? It must be so hurtful for her to think Hyunwoo's forgotten how warm she was with him. I imagine she used to wait up for him before the miscarriage but here she's listening to her husband say she's not that kind of person. (That little scene where Haein sits on the sofa waiting but Hyunwoo chose not to ask her if she was okay is my evidence! There was a post on this as well a while ago!)

It's also evident in her desire to run a hand over his shoulder to remove the dampness there. Her screaming at him to hold the umbrella properly. But he's so oblivious and deaf to her love that it hurts to witness.

- The bar after their day at the Lavender field in Germany at their honeymoon

Haein smiles and says, she wasn't angry after he told her that he had noticed no one else and that his eyes were only on her. But Hyunwoo remembers her being angry for another two hours. This scene was such a small example of it. What if Haein's anger did immediately dissipate but Hyunwoo just interpreted it as her still being angry. I can't offer any evidence as we don't see this scene but their different accounts make me think what if she was just feeling down but he assumed it was a continuation of her anger.

There are so many other examples sprinkled throughout the show as well. I started off really disliking her character but I've grown to really appreciate it. Because once you see how warm Hong Haein is in love, you'll see just how fierce, loyal and undying her conviction and mind is. She'll show and tell you in the most beautiful ways just how much she cares without ever telling you she loves you. She's not cold, she's just misunderstood.

Unfortunately though, life isn't a drama. So when people like this do exist, they tend to be written off as cold, harsh, unlovable. Humans have the potential to be infinitely complex creatures which is why it's been so interesting to see Haein's multi faceated character these past 8 weeks.

Just an additional thought: I also love the difference between Haein and Hyunwoo's business ideologies. Haein is sharp, to the point, efficiency, money and loyalty oriented. While Hyunwoo is soft, caring, warm and people oriented.

We see Hyunwoo's ideology against his father in law. When the FIL wanted to stab his long serving employee it was unfathomable for Hyunwoo. Hyunwoo's ties with the past employees of Queens got him so much information and support. His logical request to the manager of maintenance to make it snow comes after a long, good relationship - it's pretty evident in that scene. I loved how the show displayed Hyunwoo's ability to make deep and good relationships and how it ended up helping them to get Queens back. It's a hugeee contrast to how things run in the Hong Family. It was very fresh to see him show from his actions 'You can be nice and still get the job done'.

But even Hae-in's contacts, though acquired differently, are just as instrumental. The employee she took a stand for, the juice guy and Secretary Na. None of them would call her warm or soft but they would sing her praises if you ever ask them. It's such an interesting parallel between their characters. It also goes to show Haein is a good person, she just tends to show it very selectively and rarely. I do think the 1 Trillion club made her think of only money and efficiency for a while, but I still do believe she had been doing good away from public eyes, changing people's lives - it's just that no one was there to witness or publicize them.

[earfqwake]

Not sure if you only write for the Adult trio but if not, do you think you could make a version of big brother illumi x sister reader but instead of illumi it's Killua? Like, in the fic Y/n was originally supposed to be Killua's (But it was Illumi who mated with her instead) So could it stay like that? Again idk if you even write for him so it's fine if you can't do it! Thanks <33

Alpha Killua/Brother X Omega/Sister Reader Part 1

okay so like kind of the same basis as the illumi story just different as in reader actually is mated to killua this time, he is aged up and so is reader okay ? okay 🫰

tw: slight obsession from killua and yes incest !!! don’t read if you don’t want to. brother sister relationship though this part doesn’t contain anything explicit as it’s depicting their relationship growing up. will be multiple parts because i have a lot to say.

Light can’t exist without Dark.

When Kikyo Zoldyck found out she would be having twins she crossed her fingers and prayed to a god she didn’t even believe in that this would be the one, the heir of heiress of the family. Imagine the families surprise when two white haired babies were birthed on July 7th. Even Silva who rarely showed emotions other than stoicism was pleased at this moment in time.

Well Y/n, their new baby girl had half white hair and half (Y/H) colored hair but still this was the first time in the lineage Zoldyck history something like this happened. Though all that mattered is that Killua was born, both a male and with a full head of white hair. Since birth the two were inseparable, only fully calming their cries when they were near eachother.

At dinner they sat next to eachother always and if they didn’t the other would be visibly more upset. They napped together in random spots around the mansion always being found in the most peculiar places. Under Silvas Desk, Inside the kitchens cabinet, Underneath the staircase. And they shared a room by choice, until Silva forced them to have separate rooms at the age of 8. He needed to end their codependency as soon as possible. That didn’t stop them from sneaking into each others beds most nights.

Must have been fate, that such a blessing had occurred. Or so they’ve been told time and time again, but no one could break their bond that’s for sure. The pairs parents decided that they were more than likely going to end up as soul mates, promising strong pups no doubt.

Even though they were too young to have understood, Killua was relieved to hear this. No one would be good enough for his little sister, even tho he was only minutes older than you he never failed to remind you. He didn’t care much for other girls anyways none of them were as special as you.

They were polar opposites, Yin and Yang, but they fit together perfectly. Y/n was the sweetest most sensitive person, even though she was strong she had such a big heart. Too big of a heart for an assassin to have. A heart that Killua vowed to protect, he was his sisters keeper. The latter was more assertive and dominate than his sister, always leading them into trouble and taking the fall should they ever get caught.

“Where are they off to now?” Mumbled Kikyo as she frantically searched the forrest around the mansion for the twins. Only to find them running circles around Mike the enormous guard dog who didn’t seem to mind their company. Kikyo almost fainted when she saw your pretty blue gown now dirty from playing outside with your brother. You were her only girl so she was terribly overprotective of you.

Killua, like always hid you behind him as his mother threw a fit, because god forbid kids try be kids. “It was my fault mother, Y/n didn’t want to leave the garden but I took her out with me.” Which truthfully wasn’t a lie, you tried to warn Killua that Mama wouldn’t be happy but he said he’d leave you behind so you ran after him with teary eyes. But you had fun so a little punishment was worth seeing you smile.

Though he couldn’t always evade you from being punished he always tried. It meant the world to you that he would be willing to protect you no matter what. You wanted to be brave like him and you tried to, but your heart was just too soft. Hiding your tears and frowns didn’t work with Killua, he couldn’t just ignore it like the rest of his family.

When he would sneak into your room routinely sometimes he would catch you sobbing. Either because your punishment was too harsh, or you felt bad for having to kill your target. Your body sore from being attacked during a day of training, tears fell from your eyes as you sensed him enters your room. “I don’t want to do this Killua.. I’m trying to be strong for Mama and Papa but it hurts.” And he’d hold you and soothe you until you slept peacefully. Only then could he shed tears for you.

And he knows he shouldn’t like it, but you always cried the hardest for him and him alone.

“Onii!” She’d cry out and hug him after seeing the cuts and bruises he would have on his body after hours of pain resistance training. He didn’t cry much anymore, but it sure did hurt, though he’d never admit it to you. Hugging her closer, he couldn’t help but give you a tired smile. “I’m fine Y/n, see.” But she only whimpered and stayed in his embrace she knew he was lying. “Such a crybaby..” He sighed as if it troubled him, yet nuzzled his head into her soft hair.

Killua didn’t like seeing his sweet little sister cry, training was hard on her. At age 12 he begged his parents to opt her out of training, if he were to inherit the family business he didn’t want his sister to have to kill and possibly be killed that wasn’t a risk he was willing to take. Silva and Kikyo denied him this request, so he and Y/n ran away together to take the hunter exam.

————————————————————————

It sent us on such a journey, meeting many different people and making friends ! Real friends, we were never allowed to make any friends back on Kukuroo Mountain so imagine their surprise to see a boy their age also taking the exam. Y/n was infatuated with Gon, calling him her friend, staring at him, laughing at his jokes and it made Killua feel a bit jealous. Before Gon he never had to share Y/n’s attention before other than with his younger siblings.

“What’s the matter Onii?” Y/n questioned during the second phase of the hunter exam, they broke off from walking with Gon and the others because Kil grabbed her and rushed off into the fog without saying. He said nothing and just focused on navigating through the fog with a firm hold on her hand. Even if he was upset he wasn’t going to let anything bad happen to you.

“Are you mad at me…? What did I do wrong?” Tears starting to form in her eyes. Chest tightening at the idea of upsetting her brother. Sighing he glances at her before staring ahead again. “It’s stupid… I just don’t want you to replace me with Gon.” Voice barely a whisper he confessed his feelings to you, only you could make him vulnerable.

You hug his arm and smile up at him noticing the slight blush on his serious face. “Don’t worry Killu-nii, he’s our friend, but you’ll always be my best friend okay? It’s always going to be me and you, we came here together and we’re going to leave here together!” How could he be so naive, she’s just so sweet and she always put Kil first. Smiling Killua nodded and when they met up with the group there were no more issues with jealousy. Y/n would never leave her brother.

And eventually they both arrived back to Kukuroo Mountain after parting ways with Gon, both holding Allukas hands. During their trip the pair having learned nen and being capable users were certainly much stronger than when they left.

Ironically Y/n developed a nen ability that made her able to use her tears to heal others, mainly for the sake of Killua who she couldn’t stand seeing injured. His heart was floating when she explained the reason why she developed this secondary ability. And selfishly enough he didn’t just let her heal just anyone with her gift, if he didn’t feel they were worthy of your time or tears they could rot in hell for all he cared. Y/n trusted Killuas judgement though and didn’t question how he assessed who she should or shouldn’t heal.

The twins were great fighters naturally but with the added ability of nen they were a unstoppable duo, just as Silva had predicted. Yet Killua saw the dangers of nen with his own eyes witnessing what it did to Gon.

————————————————————————

Again he came to his Father directly with the same request that fell upon deaf ears last time. This time around however, Silva agreed only if Killua were to become an assassin and continue the family business. A steep price for your safety but he needed to know you would be safe.

It hurt him more than any method of torture to see her sad but deep down a small part of him loved that she cried for him. She was someone who cared and always showed it, making sure to kiss each of his visible cuts. “There all better, right Kil?” She’d smile at him and he went weak for it every single time.

At puberty is when you find out your sub race, whether you’re a alpha, omega, or a beta. Killua obviously was an Alpha. Stubborn and a born leader, if he wanted something he was going to have it. And you? No doubt your an Omega, naturally submissive in nature listening to your parents and following after your brothers every word. Always nurturing and caring for him and your younger siblings. So it went without question when you both presented as your said roles.

The two of you were walking side by side in the forest surrounding the mansion straying very far from your home. “See I told you didn’t I, Y/n.” He said with a toothy grin his canines nice and sharp. I nod and smile sweetly at my brother, “I didn’t doubt you Killu-nii !” He called long before we could confirm what we were.

Recalling all the times he would tease you, “You have to be be an omega! Why else are you such a big baby!” Only eliciting a pout from me and he laughed poking my cheek with his finger. “I think it’s cute, don’t worry when we’re older I promise to take care of you and your moody feelings, I’ll be a good Alpha.” His voice sounded serious like he was trying to convince me and he only laughed again as I hid my smile and blush.

“Wait up, Kil!” I ran briskly after him as I shake myself out of that memory. He was much taller than me now, and stronger. And he grew his hair out into a long messy mullet, looking more and more like Papa as we got older. (He only grew his hair out because he got jealous when you would braid and play with Illumis long hair, but he’ll never admit that. Ever.) You changed too, your curves becoming more prominent especially with the training you did. Your beauty only increased as time passed your mother making sure to always keep you dolled up.

And boy did Killua enjoy it, always telling you how pretty you are and being sure to do small things for you like brush your hair or pick outfits out for you.

Grinning mischievously Killua only goes faster, disappearing into the greenery surrounding you.

I huff and puff as I search everywhere for him in the area we’re in. “Come on Kil! I’m not going to play with you right now.” But he doesn’t budge from his hiding spot probably thinking it’s funny. Fine two can play at this game! I pretend to be upset and sigh turnin around to head back home alone. “Fine I give up. I’m going home now Kil.” I barely get three steps back in the direction we came from when I feel his arms wrap around me from behind.

I jump slightly and weakly attempt to escape his arms feigning as upset but he won’t budge. “Where do you think your going hmm? I was only joking Y/n don’t be such a crybaby about it.” He snickers when I go lax in his arms holding me there for a moment before spinning me around so he can see my pouty face. “Y/nnnn? Don’t be like that, you do this to me all the time.” He drawls out my name as he looks me over.

Leaning closer to him I give him my sad eyes and he squishes my cheeks. “Such a baby.” He mumbles looking at my lips before looking back into my eyes. He drawls forward so our noses are touching gives me a bunch of small pecks on the lips. Furrowing his brows when I don’t reciprocate his affections he mumbles on my lips “ I‘m sorry Y/n.” Sweet moments like this are regular between you especially when you’re far from home like this.

I smile and feel my cheeks heat up under his hold on me. And he knows he has me right where he wants me. My arms extend as I place them over his shoulder loosely. Instantly he accepts this by pulling me in closer, his hand on the small of my back. Placing kisses all over my cheek he still speaks in a low tone, “You forgive me?” I nod my head basking in his affections but still not reciprocating his touches. His voice sounds desperate as he pulls me back far enough to get a good look at me again. “Why aren’t you kissing back then?”

i smile sheepishly and pretend I’m going in to kiss him but flick him on the forehead. Now it’s his turn to pout as I laugh and slip from his grip running through the forrest. Smiling himself he chases after me, “Hey! I knew you were faking it you big baby.” Secretly though he’s relieved that your back to your normal cheerful self, and you’ll be sure to make up for it when he catches you.

Your laughter rings throughout the forest as Kil catches up to you giving you a wolffish grin and pulling you in closely waiting for you to finally give him a kiss. 🦋

————————————————————————

Zeno watched the two leave the mansion, shaking his head before facing his son Silva. “It’s only a matter of time now before they give into their instincts. You shouldn’t let that boy run around with her without supervision or we will be expecting pups sooner than later.” Silva only sighed watching as they disappeared into the forest line, his father was right. Regardless of how stern he was Zeno had a soft spot for the little girl and so did Silva.

Not that it wasn’t anticipated by the family that the two were doting on each other already. But it was too soon for you two to fully mate you had to wait until you were 18. Only then would you know if the two of you were truly meant to be together. He would have to get you on heat suppressants in the mean time and have Killua sent away during ruts. Taking necessary precautions, you two weren’t little kids anymore.

𝓽𝓸 𝓫𝓮 𝓬𝓸𝓷𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓾𝓮𝓭

-𝓴

[alyrasturnz]

fuck the happy ending shit!!!! i need a super angsty fic with no happy ending/fluff whatsoever

its time to go {{ chris sturniolo }}

summary — chris and y/n have been grappling with the tumultuous waves of their relationship, their desperate efforts marked by a white-knuckled grip that seems to tighten with each passing day. despite their relentless struggle to hold onto what they once had, y/n comes to the heart-wrenching realization that, no matter how much it tears at her soul, she must find the strength to let him go.

— angst (no happy ending)

warnings :: cheating 😡

the restaurant was enveloped in a soft, muted glow, casting a veil of mystery over its patrons. it was the kind of place that whispered promises of intimacy, with its flickering candlelight and secluded corners, yet it offered only the elusive dance of shadows and the hushed murmur of secrets.

each table seemed to harbor its own private world, where words were spoken in guarded tones and glances were exchanged with caution, creating an atmosphere thick with unspoken emotions and hidden desires.

you and chris sat across from each other, the dinner growing cold and the chatter even colder, each word a hollow echo of what once was. the air between you was thick with the weight of unspoken thoughts, a testament to a relationship that had once thrived but now struggled under the burden of time and unaddressed wounds.

the clinking of cutlery and the distant hum of the restaurant only served to underscore the growing chasm, a silent reminder of the intimacy that had slowly slipped through your fingers.

of late, it has become unmistakably evident that you and chris have arrived at the inevitable conclusion of your shared journey. each exchange of words seems to transform into a tempestuous whirlwind of conflict, where even the most trivial of disagreements escalate into vehement confrontations.

it is as though both of you are ensnared in an endless cycle of trying to assert your perspectives, yet these attempts are met with mutual disregard. the once gentle flow of communication has turned into a battleground, with every conversation leaving behind a residue of unresolved tension and deepening wounds.

the emotional landscape between you has become a field of strife, where the echoes of past arguments linger, and the prospect of reconciliation seems like a distant mirage.

you and chris sat in a heavy silence, the weight of unspoken words hanging in the air. he absently toyed with the food on his plate, his fork pushing remnants around in an aimless dance.

you let out a weary sigh, the sound of resignation filling the space between you. with a sense of finality, you dropped your fork onto your plate, the loud clink echoing through the room as you signaled for the tab.

chris lifts his gaze to meet yours, his head still bowed slightly, a flicker of uncertainty in his eyes. after a moment, he averts his gaze, turning his head to the side, as if seeking refuge from the intensity of the moment.

“y/n, she’s just a friend. i swear,” chris mumbled, his voice barely above a whisper. you scoffed in response, rolling your eyes with a mix of exasperation and disbelief, leaning back into your chair as if trying to distance yourself from the weight of his words.

“friends don’t look at each other like that,” you shoot back, your voice laced with a sharp edge. your words compel chris to meet your gaze, the intensity of your accusation lingering between you like a palpable force.

“yes, they do,” he insisted, his voice unwavering, each word carrying a quiet defiance.

a heavy silence enveloped the room as the tab was discreetly placed before you. with a measured yet swift motion, you slipped some cash onto the table, the rustle of bills breaking the quiet. standing up abruptly, you grabbed your purse with a sense of urgency, storming out, leaving the tension-laden air behind.

chris lets out a weary sigh, the sound heavy with resignation, as he hastens to follow after you, each step echoing with the weight of unspoken words and unresolved tension.

he leaned forward, his eyes brimming with a desperate intensity that seemed to beseech your very soul for understanding, "she’s just a friend, nothing more. you have to believe me."

you looked away, your heart laden with doubt, the weight of his words pressing down on your chest like an unrelenting burden. "just a friend? friends don’t look at each other like that."

he sighed deeply, attempting to mask his growing frustration, his breath escaping in a slow, controlled exhale. "i’ve known her for years. we’ve weathered countless storms together, but it’s never been anything more than friendship. you’re the one i love."

you met his gaze, your voice trembling with the fragility of your emotions. "then why does it feel like i’m competing for your attention? why do i feel like i’m losing you to her?"

he reached for your hand, his grip firm yet gentle, as if trying to anchor you in his reality. "you’re not losing me. i promise you, she’s just a friend. i need you to trust me."

but you could see the flicker of guilt in his eyes, the hesitation in his voice, the slight quiver that betrayed his calm demeanor. tears welled up in your eyes as you pulled your hand away, the warmth of his touch lingering on your skin. "trust? how can i trust when i see the way you look at her?"

his voice softened, but the sincerity was gone, replaced by a hollow echo of his earlier conviction. "because i look at you with love. with her, it’s just friendship. please, believe me."

your heart ached with an almost unbearable intensity, knowing deep down that his words were merely a delicate veil for the truth he couldn’t bring himself to admit. it was a fragile facade, one that was beginning to crack and crumble under the oppressive weight of your shared silence, each unspoken word adding to the tension that threatened to shatter the thin veneer of reassurance he tried to offer.

your heart ached with an intensity that seemed to reverberate through your very being, knowing deep down that his words were nothing more than a delicate veil, a fragile facade designed to obscure the truth he couldn’t bring himself to admit. this fragile construct was beginning to crumble, piece by piece, under the immense weight of your shared silence, each unspoken word adding to the pressure, threatening to shatter the thin veneer of reassurance he so desperately tried to maintain.

you took a deep breath, trying to steady your voice. "i can’t do this anymore. i can’t keep pretending that everything is fine when it’s not."

his eyes widened, panic flashing across his face. "what are you saying? don’t do this. we can work through this."

you shook your head, tears spilling over your cheeks. "no, we can’t. i’ve tried to believe you, to trust you, but it’s tearing me apart. every time i see you with her, it feels like a knife in my heart."

he reached for you again, desperation in his touch. "please, don’t leave me. i love you. she’s just a friend, nothing more."

you stepped back, putting distance between you, your voice breaking. "just a friend? i didn't want to do this but if she’s just a friend then what is this?” you said, shoving your phone in his face, a screenshot displayed on it

his face paled, and for a moment, he was speechless. "i... i can explain." he stood there, silent, the weight of your words sinking in. "i never meant to hurt you."

"explain?" you echoed, your voice rising. "how do you explain this? 'last night was amazing. can't wait to see you again.'"

he ran a hand through his hair, frustration and guilt battling in his eyes. "it was a mistake. it didn't mean anything."

"a mistake?" you felt a bitter laugh escape your lips. "you don't just accidentally cheat on someone. how long has this been going on?"

"it was just the one time," he insisted, but his voice lacked conviction. "i swear."

you shook your head, tears blurring your vision. "how could you do this to me? to us? i thought we were happy."

"we are," he implored desperately, closing the distance between you, each step laden with a silent plea for forgiveness. "please, just let me explain."

"explain what?" you snapped, stepping back. "that you threw away everything we had for a night with someone else? that you lied to me, betrayed me?"

"i know i messed up," he uttered, his voice fracturing under the weight of his own remorse. "i'm so sorry. i love you."

"love?" the word resonated with a cruel irony, each syllable twisting the knife of betrayal deeper. "if you loved me, you wouldn't have done this. you wouldn't have hurt me like this."

he reached out, but you recoiled, the pain too fresh, too raw. "please, give me a chance to make it right."

you took a deep breath, trying to steady your racing heart. "i need time," you said finally. "i need to think."

he nodded, tears in his own eyes. "i understand. i'll give you all the time you need."

with that, you turned and walked away, each step feeling like a release from the invisible chains that had bound your heart for so long.

as you moved forward, the weight of unspoken words and unresolved emotions began to lift, leaving him standing there, a solitary figure etched against the backdrop of your fading memories.

the light around him dimmed, symbolizing the end of an era, a poignant reminder of the love and pain that had once intertwined your lives so deeply.

you knew deep down that this was the last thing you wanted to do, yet the tears that streamed down your face betrayed your resolve, refusing to let you proceed.

your heart swelled with an overwhelming sense of yearning and longing, each beat echoing the depth of emotions that words could never fully capture.

it was as if every fiber of your being was pulling you back, pleading for a different outcome, one where love and desire could find their rightful place.

your entire being seemed to rebel against your decision, every fiber of your body rejecting the path you had chosen. the tears that welled up in your eyes mirrored the turmoil within, each drop a testament to the inner battle you fought.

despite the overwhelming urge to turn back, to undo what had been set in motion, you clung to the conviction that this was for the better.

it was a necessary sacrifice, a step towards a future that held the promise of healing and growth, even if the present moment was steeped in pain and uncertainty.

the inner conflict raged on, a tempest of emotions threatening to consume you, but you held firm, believing that sometimes, the hardest choices pave the way for the most profound transformations.

[elyvorg]

Kieran Part 1: It’s All About Strength

I’m a longtime Pokémon fan who happily plays through every mainline game, but I’ve never been more than mildly fond of the occasional character here and there, because Pokémon isn’t much for deep and nuanced character writing. Then I played The Teal Mask DLC and came out of it with many, many Feelings and Thoughts about Kieran – enough so that it warrants a full, juicy analysis about all of his subtleties and issues. I never expected I’d write one of these character analysis rambles of mine on a Pokémon character of all things, but here we are. Colour me surprised and impressed.

For anyone reading this in the future: this was written before The Indigo Disk came out and therefore only talks about the events of The Teal Mask. Assuming The Indigo Disk doesn’t completely drop the ball on the best character-writing job that mainline Pokémon has ever done (please; please don’t), there will probably be a Part 2 to this analysis coming in a few months. (Aaaaand here it is! But you should read this one first, of course.)

(I’ll be referring to the player character as “you” here for ease of wording, but rest assured, this doesn’t mean I’m accusing you the reader of any of the questionable ways the player character treats Kieran. I was also very annoyed at being forced to lie to him, believe me.)

His weakness, and your strength

Kieran is a kid gripped with a crushing sense of inferiority and weakness. We don’t see all of where this came from, although we get a pretty good idea of part of it – his sister. So many times when Kieran tries to protest against things and assert himself, Carmine snaps back at him for doing so. Over time, that kind of thing would have made him feel like he’s wrong for trying to stand up for himself, leading to him letting people walk all over him. I don’t want to give Carmine’s behaviour all of the blame for Kieran’s issues, though, because there’s bound to be more to it than that. I expect some of it also came from him being bullied and outcast during his time at Blueberry Academy – I hope The Indigo Disk gives us glimpses into what Kieran’s life there was like before all this.

As a result of feeling so weak and inferior, Kieran admires and idolises people he sees as strong. This becomes clear early on with how much he looks up to you just for being able to beat his sister, someone else he also sees as strong. Apparently, he couldn’t stop raving about how cool you were and how he wanted to battle you all evening back at home.

He doesn’t want you to know that, though, based on his protest when Carmine comes out and tells you so. Kieran's probably rather embarrassed for you to hear how much he idolises you, after all. He also seems to think his request for a battle would be annoying and a bother – he says “You don’t mind?” in surprise when you accept, even though asking people for battles is supposed to be just what trainers do. Why would a strong trainer like you want to waste your time battling someone weak like him?

Kieran’s comment in the battle if you land a super effective move is also very telling: “Oof, ehehe… I guess I got a lot of weaknesses…” He tries to play it off as light-hearted, but, hm, that sure is A Way for a rival character to comment on you knowing about type matchups. And he most certainly does not seem to agree with his sister when she says he’s almost as strong as her.

(Fun fact: the game actually lets you lose the first battle with each sibling while still continuing the story. If you lose to Kieran in that first battle, he assumes you were holding back against him, as if that’s the only reason he’d ever be able to beat anyone. Perhaps he’s experienced people holding back against him out of pity before – maybe Carmine used to?)

He's flustered when Carmine partners him up with you, too, even though you’re the only option that he has at least a vague rapport with now – he’s still assuming someone cool like you wouldn’t want to waste any more of your time on him than you have to. Kieran worries he’ll “get in your way” if he sticks with you, so he hangs back and stays well out of your way instead. It’s a cute way for the game to justify him not actually following you around in the gameplay even though he’s supposed to be following you according to the plot, but it also just makes perfect sense for Kieran’s character. This is a kid who constantly tries to take up as little space as possible because he’s convinced that nobody wants him around. And it’s important that he seems to feel especially this way towards the people he looks up to (with the exception of Carmine, because she’s family and he spends most of his time with her already).

Then there’s the scene where he meets Koraidon/Miraidon. At first, I assumed it was there to introduce Kieran to our lizardbike friend because they’d be relevant later somehow. But they’re not! So the only reason this scene exists at all is for the purpose of illustrating to Kieran that, in his words, “you’re special”. You are A Protagonist, capable of befriending super special, rare, strong Pokémon with ease. (Just like a certain other special legendary Pokémon you’ll be meeting soon, how about that.)

Admiring the ogre

So, as you begin the trip to visit the signboards about Kitakami’s legend, Kieran starts to open up about how much he likes the ogre. Perhaps he feels safe telling you, because you’re an outsider and won’t frown upon him for it like the locals are prone to do. He probably gets that from them a lot and has learned not to bring up the ogre in town – another thing that makes him feel left out.

Even so, Kieran starts from the angle of “it’s so strong and cool because it won one-on-three”, since that’s a more acceptable reason to like the ogre that doesn’t question the validity of the legend, and is less personal to his issues. If you agree with him that the ogre sounds cool before he’s explained why he thinks so, he responds with “I knew you’d get it!” – you, who’s also really strong and cool, would obviously recognise that same strength in the ogre right away, right?

If you’re sceptical at first instead, he stresses that “it was all alone!” and still managed to hold its own – the more personal side of the reason he likes the ogre coming out just a little. By the second signboard, Kieran’s gotten a bit more comfortable with you, enough to start touching on that more deliberately. He mentions that it’s shunned, and that he likes its strength because he admires that and wishes he could be that strong himself.

Then he invites you to see the ogre’s den, something completely unrelated to the purpose of the school trip, because he trusts you enough to feel sure that you’ll get what he’s trying to illustrate about the ogre there. He points out that it seems like a lonely, miserable place to live, and that he’d happily let the ogre stay at his house if it wanted. He’s not quite explicitly saying so, but Kieran clearly empathises with the ogre because he relates to that kind of loneliness. Though he doesn’t want to outright say that the legend is wrong and the ogre isn’t actually the bad guy – maybe he’s got backlash from the villagers before for suggesting it –  he's got to believe that to be the case.

(I’ve seen one or two people suggest that Kieran fawning over the supposed bad guy in the legend is an early hint to his potential for darkness, but I really don’t think that’s it. There’s plenty of reason for Kieran to relate to and see the sympathetic side of the ogre in the story due to his own status as a social outcast, without it needing to be a case of “he just likes bad guys because he’s Edgy”.)

Later, at the festival, Kieran has a quiet chuckle to himself when Carmine’s talking about the Loyal Three being heroes, and says it’s funny that she doesn’t know anything about the ogre. Then he conspicuously changes the subject when she implies that it’s just that he likes edgy bad guys, because that’s not it – but at least now he has someone who does get it. Carmine mentions later that she feels Kieran is trying to one-up her about the ogre, and maybe this is true. Perhaps this is one small way in which he can privately feel superior to his sister, because he’s more right than her, or than anyone in the village, about the ogre’s true nature. And while that’s more due to luck and a large helping of projecting his own issues onto it than out of any genuine inside knowledge of the truth, Kieran is the one person who understands the ogre best.

Or, at least, he understands it best… for the most part. Because there is one very key way in which Kieran is actually thoroughly wrong about what Ogerpon is truly like.

Misunderstanding the ogre

This begins to be apparent at the second signboard, when Kieran’s gushing about the ogre’s coolness and says “it didn’t even care when everyone shunned it”. From meeting Ogerpon later, we know that this is patently not true about her – she’s terrified of humans because of how they see her, so really she hates being shunned! But Kieran doesn’t imagine that to be the case about her, even though he empathises with her presumed loneliness and is basically projecting his own onto her. He sees the ogre as somebody who is shunned and alone, like he is, but who, unlike him, is strong enough to not let it get to them. Someone in the same bad situation as him, but with strength that he only wishes he could have to deal with it.

In that same conversation at the second signboard, Kieran then goes on to talk about how his sister always does everything for him, and he’d like to become stronger and more independent and reliable. And, “then, just maybe… I could be that ogre’s friend.” As if he doesn’t think he’d deserve to be Ogerpon’s friend unless he was already strong, just like she is.

He mentions a couple of times that he comes to the Dreaded Den a lot but has never once seen the ogre, which might seem a little strange at first. Obviously Ogerpon kept well hidden from him because she’s scared of humans – but, did Kieran never try to call out to her? To tell her that he’s not afraid of her, that he admires her strength and she must be lonely and hey, maybe they could be friends? If he had, then surely over time, Ogerpon would have grown to trust him and shown herself – so apparently, Kieran never did try to call out to her in an attempt to befriend her. Because he felt he wasn’t worthy of her friendship, not when he’s so weak, so inferior to someone as strong and cool as her. (A lot like how he wouldn’t have had the courage to tell you how much he admired you, if his sister hadn’t blurted it out for him.)

While you’re visiting the den with him, Kieran assumes that “a powerful ogre like that would only show up if it heard some kinda battle”, leading to him challenging you again. Since he admires the ogre for its strength, he’s assuming that the ogre also values strength just as much if not more than he does, which really isn’t necessarily true about Ogerpon!

During the battle, Kieran says he’ll “put up a good fight” this time. Which is to say, he still feels so thoroughly outclassed by you that he isn’t remotely expecting or even trying to win – he just wants to at least not go down quite as pitifully as last time, not when he’s potentially being watched by his idol the ogre. And when he loses (the game requires you to win this and all future battles against him), he laments how he’s ever going to be able to beat you, and then he muses, “If the ogre saw that battle, I’m sure it’d be thinking, ‘That kid’s got some real strength…’” He is assuming that Ogerpon would like you, far more than she’d ever like him, because of how strong you are. This is very important.

(As it happens, Ogerpon was secretly watching that battle, but as for whether she’s actually thinking what Kieran imagines she is about your strength – who knows?)

Friendship! Or is it…?

By the end of the den visit, Kieran has just enough confidence to invite you to the Festival of Masks, and to his own house to get ready to go together, which there’s no way he’d have been able to do at the start of the day. He’s so surprised but thrilled to hear that you consider yourself his friend – based on that and his grandparents’ reactions, you’re likely the first friend he’s ever made, which would not be surprising. It’s lovely watching this shy but sweet kid actually smiling and feeling comfortable around you and happy to have someone he can call a friend for the first time ever. And GHHHH it is so painful in hindsight knowing where things are headed.

Even with you calling yourself his friend, though, Kieran still feels inferior to you. He dejectedly offers to give you his mask for the festival when you find yourself without one, even though it’s the ogre mask, his favourite, his thing – because he instinctively feels that if anyone should be the one who gets left out, it should be him, like always, and not you.

The whole time, Kieran’s bound to be feeling thoroughly insecure about this new friendship. The idea that he’s actually made a friend, and not least someone as cool as you, likely feels far too good to be true, more than he deserves, and I suspect he might be constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. When he mentions to Carmine that you’re coming to the festival with him, her response is vaguely evasive, and Kieran responds to that in a very prickly, defensive way. It reads to me like he thinks Carmine is jealous of him befriending you before her, and that he’s afraid she might try to take you away from him as a result. Whether that’s actually true or not isn’t really the point (I think Carmine might indeed be a little jealous, but she would not do something that deliberately malicious) – what matters is that Kieran believes this may be the case and is liable to view all further interactions with you and Carmine in that light.

Then, at the festival, Carmine pressures Kieran into playing Ogre Oustin’ even though he doesn’t really want to. She’s probably doing this in an attempt to encourage him to have fun, but since he doesn’t find it fun (because he doesn't like this game where he's pretend-killing the ogre!), it’d be easy for him to feel like she only did it because she wanted him out of the way so she could hang out with you. And it’s while Kieran’s doing that that you and Carmine meet Ogerpon without him. Of course, that’s nothing but pure unlucky bad timing – Carmine had no idea Ogerpon was about to show up – but from Kieran’s point of view, with his obvious history of being maliciously left out of things by others, it’s easy for him to feel like there was some deliberate element to it.

At first he doesn’t know it has anything to do with Ogerpon, though. But still, when he gets back from Ogre Oustin’ and asks what you two were up to, Carmine abruptly shuts you up before you can speak and is blatantly hiding something – which Kieran takes to mean that you were laughing at him behind his back. That’s something else he must get a lot, for him to be automatically assuming it’s happening here. Really not so far off from his fear that his sister’s going to try and take you away from him, either.

Carmine’s lie isn’t done out of any malice – she is genuinely trying to protect her brother from feeling bad over being left out of meeting Ogerpon – but she sure is doing so in a way that’s going to make him feel even worse over being left out on purpose once he realises the truth. Carmine does care about her brother in theory, but this girl has zero social brain cells. And we the player are forced to play along with the lie whether we want to or not, which awkwardly turns our player-insert character into a very specific kind of character who would do so. I guess they either also have zero social brain cells, or they’re kind of a doormat who’s swayed by a forceful personality like Carmine’s. This part is frustrating, but I have to accept it because of the delightful things it does to Kieran’s arc, which really is the important part here.

Learning of the lie

The next morning, it seems like Kieran’s largely managed to brush off the weird bit last night where you and his sister were maybe laughing at him behind his back, because he greets you with a smile, ready to go see the last signboard. And then Carmine… forcefully demands that he finds somewhere else to be, because you’ve got business with her. Kieran protests that it’s not fair that you’ve been spending all your time with her lately – score two for his fear that she’s trying to take you away from him – and when she snaps back at his protest like always, he runs off.

But he doesn’t run off that far, because he stays close enough to listen in on the conversation. The discussion of Ogerpon’s story goes on for long enough – and takes long enough to get to the important part – that Kieran pretty much has to have stayed to eavesdrop on purpose, which is a little sketchy of him. Still, I can’t blame him all that much, what with his background of being mistreated, and the way Carmine’s behaviour gives him ample reason to be afraid there’s something going on here – of course he’d have wanted to know for sure. Perhaps he was even trying to hope that listening in would prove that you’re not actually hiding something bad from him and he was just being paranoid.

Except that actually, it turns out the truth is so much worse than Kieran had feared. Never mind just laughing at him – you and Carmine met the ogre without him and then hid it from him as if he didn’t even deserve to know. And, as if that wasn’t bad enough, it then turns out that he was right all along about the ogre being a good guy, and his own grandpa didn’t even think it was worth telling him that, and now you’re still just going to keep lying to him about it all and leaving him in the dark.

(Really, I have to side-eye their grandpa a lot more than Carmine here, because he’s a grown dang adult and has so much less excuse. He says he’ll tell Kieran the truth “when the time is right”, but what does that even mean? The “right time” would be right now! Heck, it should have been the moment he realised that Kieran had already intuited the truth!)

And all this being lied to and shunned and left out of things (like always) stings even more for Kieran because it’s coming from someone he’d thought was his friend. He’d actually dared to hope that someone – and not just anyone, someone really cool and strong – actually wanted to be friends with him? Of course that was too good to be true. Why would someone as cool and strong as you have ever wanted to befriend a weak loser like him, anyway? (After all, cool strong people only ever want to be friends with other cool strong people; that’s how it works, right?)

Probing about the lie

The correct thing for Kieran to do with this situation would have been to simply come right out and confront you about the lie. But of course he doesn’t have the courage to do that. He’s far too used to being shot down whenever he tries to assert and stand up for himself (no thanks to Carmine). And since he only learned about this because he was eavesdropping, it’s easy for him to imagine having that turned against him, and the whole situation being treated like he’s the one in the wrong for doing that.

Still, it seems like Kieran might want to at least indirectly give you the opportunity to tell him the truth. He heads off to the village shop to act like he was there the whole time, and then casually asks you what you were talking about back there. He’s maybe trying to hope that you don’t really want to lie to him and only got swept up into doing so by his sister’s forcefulness, and that you’ll tell him everything now that she’s not here, because, you said you were his friend, right? Later on, too, at the third signboard, the way Kieran brings up that his family is descended from the mask maker feels suspiciously relevant, as if he only thought to do so because he overheard the story and is trying to give you a chance to go, “Hey, speaking of that mask maker, actually…”

But no. It sure seems like you’re very deliberately choosing to keep him in the dark. As such, he’s bound to be feeling extra small and awkward at the signboard, just wanting to “get this over with” and be done spending time with you, because you clearly don’t want to waste any more of your time with him than you have to, right? The awkwardness of the third signboard photo, with Kieran obviously not wanting to be there, and your character’s very strained thumbs-up, is heartbreaking in comparison to how cute and happy the first two were.

During the conversation there, Kieran mentions the ogre being alone and treated like an outcast in a way that is very clearly also talking about how you and Carmine are treating him right now. The game pointedly lingers on his response to your comment, regardless of which dialogue option you choose. If you agree that that sounds awful, he says, “You think so too, huh?” – you think that it’s bad to treat someone that way, and yet, you sure are treating him that way anyway. If you instead mutter an awkward apology, Kieran asks, “For what?” This could read like he’s calling you out for not being able to admit to what you should be apologising for, but actually, I’m not sure that’s it. It could also be him genuinely asking that, because he doesn’t realise you need to apologise for anything. Hold this thought, I’ll go into it more in a bit.

It's because he’s weak

The other thing that happens at the third signboard is Kieran challenging you to another battle. He doesn’t really explain why, but I suspect he’s hoping that if he wins and proves his strength to you, you might just tell him the truth, or at least it’ll give him the courage to confront you about your lie. This is the first battle in which he says he wants to win and is actively trying and hoping to do so, rather than just accepting his loss before he’s even started. His optimism is pretty fragile, though, as he laments “it wasn’t supposed to go like this” if you hit him super-effectively, and “why does it have to be like this?” when he’s down to his last Pokémon.

But of course, he loses, just like he must secretly have been expecting to all along (how could he ever beat someone as strong as you?). And so he concludes, “it’s all ‘cause I’m too weak” – not just losing the battle, but everything. Why he’s always left out and shunned by everyone, why you lied to him and went behind his back about something you knew was important to him – it’s because he’s weak. He was battling you to try and prove that he’s stronger, strong enough to deserve better than that… but of course he isn’t.

A particularly important little subtlety is that he mutters “That’s why I…” – because it would have been easy to expect this line to say “you” instead. That you lied to him and shunned him because he’s weak, that it’s your fault for choosing to treat someone weak like this. But Kieran isn’t framing it that way. He’s thinking of it as his fault, simply for being weak, and that’s why he will always inevitably be treated like crap by everyone around him. As if that’s nobody else’s fault for choosing to do that, but simply the natural way of things when someone’s weak. As if he deserves this for being weak.

(So: what are you sorry for? You shouldn’t be sorry for anything; it’s his fault, isn’t it? Someone as strong and perfect as you could never be conflicted or in the wrong.)

By the end of this signboard visit, Kieran’s leaving on his own, saying that he’s got to get stronger with his Pokémon. All of this is happening because he’s weak, so he needs to be stronger – and apparently, that means “strength in Pokémon battling”. In reality, even if he did become the best battler out there, that wouldn’t necessarily make him any better at standing up for himself in social situations or being independent and reliable in other ways, but he’s very much conflating the different kinds of strength. This probably has a lot to do with his schooling at Blueberry Academy, which teaches Pokémon battling, leaving him overly focused on battling strength as the only kind of strength that matters. Perhaps he was picked on at school because he wasn’t very good at the battling classes, which wouldn’t have helped. I hope we see some glimpses of this in The Indigo Disk.

And on the topic of Kieran fixating on getting stronger at Pokémon battling: his Furret is never seen in his team again after this point. It was one of the first two Pokémon he used against you, so it’s presumably one of his closest Pokémon partners, which makes it heartbreaking that he ditches it from his team because, clearly, it’s too weak. Even worse, he’s inflicting being left out and shunned on someone else – someone he probably cared about – precisely because it’s weak. That’s just what happens to people who are weak, right? Guh. Poor Furret.

Outburst at Loyalty Plaza

Kieran most likely spends the next 24 hours alternating between fervently training as hard as he can, and stewing in his feelings of loneliness and rejection and betrayal. His grandpa mentions that he spent that night in his room after not even eating dinner, which, yeah, when he’s sharing a house with two of the people who are lying to him, not surprising. Oof. And more than just pain and betrayal, he’s got to be feeling so much anger, anger which he’s never been able to truly express, because every time he tries to stand up for himself he always gets shot down – but that only makes the suppressed anger worse.

The correct thing to do would have been for Kieran to confront everyone calmly about the lie as soon as he became aware of it. But because he couldn’t just do that, his resentment festered inside of him with no real outlet, until finally it becomes unbearable and explodes out of him and he has to do something to express it, no matter how questionable. So he steals the Teal Mask and runs off with it.

I don’t think Kieran actually has much of an idea of what he’s going to do with the mask. The one logical thing would have been to give it back to Ogerpon himself, but that can’t be his intent, because he doesn’t go anywhere near her den with it. And I highly doubt he’s planning to break it or anything like that, since he’d never do something that’d hurt Ogerpon. Really, I think he just wants you and Carmine to notice and acknowledge what he’s going through and what you’ve done to him – and if he steals the mask, you’re going to have to confront him to get it back.

He heads to Loyalty Plaza in particular because he’s conflating his own situation with Ogerpon’s. In amongst his pain and anger at the way he’s being treated, he’d have also been feeling a lot of anger at the injustice of how Ogerpon was and is treated, because he was right all along that she was never the bad guy, but she’s shunned undeservedly while the “Loyal” Three are lauded as heroes. Even though this outburst from Kieran is really all about his own situation, he makes it about Ogerpon first, because that’s easier for him to openly be angry about. He only brings up his own treatment as a comparison to how Ogerpon is treated like an outcast, as if the only way he can frame it as wrong in his head is by comparing it to something that’s definitely wrong. (After all, he deserves to be shunned because he’s weak – but Ogerpon didn’t deserve any of it, because she’s so much stronger!)

During Kieran’s outburst, Carmine blurts out an apology on realising that she’s hurt him – but Kieran basically just ignores it and continues to vent. Which tells us something interesting: that Kieran never did this out of any attempt to get you and Carmine to apologise for lying to him. If he’d wanted that, he’d have reacted in some way when Carmine did just that. So I think, in keeping with Kieran’s belief that all this is his fault for being weak, he doesn’t actually think you two need to apologise for anything. He’s lashing out because he’s angry and in pain and doesn’t know how else to deal with it, but he’s not consciously thinking that you and Carmine are in the wrong.

He’s also still holding onto the idea that you and Carmine were just laughing at him behind his back, which is of course not true, but when Carmine tries to say that, Kieran snaps back that she’s a liar. Given that she undeniably has lied to him about one very important thing, of course Kieran would find it easy to believe that she could be lying to him about anything and he can’t trust any reassurance she gives him. This poor kid must have such a history of being mistreated and patronised by others to jump to assuming things like this.

Lashing out with a battle

Then Kieran challenges you to another battle, promising to give back the mask if you win. Since there’s no way he is truly expecting to be able to beat you, this means that he never really intended to keep the mask forever. But he also doesn’t just want to seem like some weak pushover who’ll roll over and give in as soon as he’s confronted, so he at least wants to make you fight him for it. And based on his line at the beginning of the battle – “I know this isn’t right, but… I can’t just hand over the mask to you!” – he doesn’t want to just give up one of Ogerpon’s possessions so easily to someone who treated him like an outcast the same way those villagers back then treated Ogerpon.

Really, I think the battle – and the notably forceful way he asks for it, unlike the previous times – just comes a lot from Kieran’s anger, and his need to externalise it somehow. He even insists that he needs this battle, if you’re hesitant about accepting the challenge. There’s probably a part of him that wants to lash out with physical violence, maybe punch you or something, but he knows that’s wrong and that it’d look pathetically impotent of him anyway even if he tried. Happily, this world has a socially-accepted form of violence-by-proxy instead, so Pokémon battle it is!

As for the battle itself, Kieran’s switched up his team some more, removing Furret as previously mentioned, and adding two new members instead of just one like the previous times – but the Cramorant he uses here doesn’t stick around either. This is less sad to me than Furret, though, because he wouldn’t have been very close to it. Cramorant may even have been taken onto the team with the condition of “I’m trying out new team members to see who’s strong enough”, at which point ditching it is less of a betrayal and more of it simply failing a job interview.

(Meanwhile, the other newcomer, Gligar, clearly impressed Kieran a lot with its strength, as it becomes his ace for the final fight. Fitting that his ace there is not a long-time partner, but one obtained only after he began to fixate on getting stronger.)

He’s also more openly determined to win (despite his suppressed conviction that he could never beat you), and remains more optimistic than before even when things aren’t going so well for him. In fact, this is the only battle in which Kieran has lines for hitting you with a super effective move or a critical hit. That said, he’s still a little insecure, based on an optional line: “I need to get this right… I’m gonna make sure to give the right commands!” which tells us that he feels like his losses are his fault for making mistakes and choosing the wrong moves, rather than blaming his Pokémon for not being strong enough. He also has an absolutely great comment in this battle if you land a critical hit, which I have to highlight: “What can’t you do? You’re like the hero in a story…” It’s purely luck, but despite that, he’s seeing you as this impossibly perfect hero that he could never ever measure up to, and this delights me.

Losing the battle just seems to make Kieran’s frustration at his own inferiority even worse, to the point that he does indulge in some physical violence, towards the shrine. Which is as pathetic as he must have been expecting, and should in theory have been harmless enough. (Of course, it appears that this is what somehow resurrects the Lousy Three, but there is no way Kieran expected or wanted that to happen, so he can’t be blamed for that.) Then he gives the mask back, just as he promised he would, and (ignoring another attempt by Carmine to apologise – again, this was never about that to him) he runs off back home.

So I find it really hard to condemn Kieran for… any of his actions here? Sure, he stole the mask, but he didn’t do anything bad with it and gave it back just fine (and must have always been intending to). All he was doing was lashing out – unhealthily, but basically harmlessly – over the really very callous way you and Carmine had been treating him. And if he hadn’t done this, you two would probably never have told him the truth about Ogerpon, and he’d have remained out of the loop and never met her at all! That would have been awful!

And yet: making you and Carmine bring him into the loop about Ogerpon and getting the chance to meet her is also not something Kieran was aiming for here. Just before leaving in a sulk, he says, “Say hi to the ogre for me” – which means that he never expected to get to meet it himself. He is still, even by the end of this confrontation, labouring under the belief that you and Carmine don’t want him there with Ogerpon and that he doesn’t deserve to meet her at all.

Apologies, and a lack thereof

After you rescue Ogerpon from being bullied by the resurrected Lousy Three, Carmine shows up with Kieran in tow. Apparently she found him moping around at home and dragged him here to apologise to you about his stunt with the mask. Which, yes, does warrant an apology – but what really frustrates me about this part is that Carmine doesn’t apologise for what you and she did wrong. Sure, she blurted out a couple of cut-off apologies back at Loyalty Plaza, but those never had the intended effect when Kieran was in no emotional state to accept them. Here and now, he’s calmed down enough that he would be able to take on board an apology… but Carmine doesn’t give one. It’s possible that she already apologised at home before bringing him here, but if she’d done that, then she really ought to have got you to also apologise for lying to him, and she doesn’t – so I can only assume that didn’t happen. And you the player can choose to apologise to Kieran here anyway, but since it’s optional, it’s not given nearly the attention it deserves.

Since Kieran never gets a proper apology while he’s in a state to listen, it means he never actually ends up internalising the fact that you were in the wrong to lie to him and he didn’t deserve to be treated that way. Which would have been a really, really important thing for him to realise! As it is, he continues to quietly assume that all of this is his fault for being weak, with nobody to tell him that this way of thinking is flawed.

It's frustrating, but I do kind of get it, from Carmine at least, because she’s also a pretty flawed person. Her deal seems to be that she’s only able to be emotionally sincere in uncontrolled outbursts when she’s worked up, and when she’s calm she covers up her true feelings with bossiness and vanity. Which makes her not at all capable of apologising to Kieran when he’s in a calm enough state to be capable of registering it. These siblings’ issues do not mesh well. Still, here’s hoping that Carmine’s able to self-reflect enough to acknowledge her partial responsibility for Kieran’s suffering by the end of The Indigo Disk.

She does seem to realise her mistake here enough to make a point of trying to include Kieran in their Ogerpon adventures from here on out, at least. But it’s too little too late in terms of how Kieran views things. He seems to have assumed that Carmine dragged him here only to apologise, and not to properly meet Ogerpon or be involved in helping her out, because he expresses surprise when Carmine casually includes him as part of the Mask Retrieval Squad. He was expecting to be shunned and left out as always – what do you mean, she wants him there?

Meeting Ogerpon

The only interaction Kieran was expecting to have with Ogerpon here was giving the fixed-up mask back to her, because he wanted to be the one to do so – but she shies away from him when he offers it. Carmine comments that she’s probably scared of new people, and this is likely the truth, but Kieran’s silent response suggests that he’s not necessarily agreeing with that assessment. Remember, from earlier: Kieran is convinced that Ogerpon values strength. And he’s so used to being shunned by others, especially strong people, because he’s weak. It would be very, very easy for him to come to the irrational conclusion that the reason Ogerpon refuses him is because of his weakness, even though his sister’s suggesting something else.

Despite Kieran’s key misconceptions about Ogerpon’s values, he does continue to understand her better than most people in certain ways. When you try to head into town with her, Kieran’s the one to point out that she’s probably afraid to go in because of the way she’s been treated by the townspeople. He also comments that she’ll feel safe going to retrieve the masks from the Three as long as she’s with you. He empathises with that insecurity and social anxiety enough that, seeing it from Ogerpon in person, he can instinctively see that’s the case about her too.

And yet… seeing Ogerpon’s fear, and understanding that she’s scared of being shunned just like him (which he previously said the ogre didn’t care at all about!), doesn’t actually change the part of Kieran that is also irrationally convinced that she only cares about strength. There’s no moment in which he seems to be re-evaluating Ogerpon or realising anything new about her upon seeing her being afraid. The part where she’s shy and afraid, and the part where she’s strong and cool and therefore values strength in others, manage to be separate enough in his mind that he never actually cross-references them to realise that one of these surely can’t be as true as he thinks it is. So his false conviction that things are about strength to Ogerpon still remains, unchallenged.

Staying behind

Then, even though Carmine is making an active point of trying to include him, Kieran… chooses not to come with you on the mission to retrieve the masks. This is despite the fact that this’d be his best chance to spend time with Ogerpon and hopefully get her to warm up to him, which you’d think would be his priority when he’s quietly hoping to maybe have the chance to become her partner.

But even though it would be a logical choice for Kieran to come with them, it makes perfect sense to me why he doesn’t. As far as he sees things, you and Carmine are way stronger than him and already have the fights against the Three covered – he’d be nothing but a useless third wheel hanging back, only there out of Carmine’s pity for him and not because he’s needed. And in terms of Ogerpon, Kieran is the kid who visited her den countless times but never had the courage to call out to her and ask to be friends. Of course he knows he wouldn’t have the confidence to actually try and get closer to Ogerpon, especially not when she’s already got someone she likes (someone who’s strong while he’s weak, which is clearly what matters to her, right). He knows he’ll just spend the whole time watching Ogerpon obviously like you way more than him while not being able to do a thing about it, and it’ll just make him feel even more jealous and left out.

(Trust me, as someone with social anxiety who spent a lot of my childhood being low-key outcasted by my so-called friend groups, I get it. When you’ve lived like that, integrating yourself with new people can feel downright impossible, no matter how much you may want it.)

So Kieran doesn’t come on the mission – but it’s not like he just uselessly sulks around, either. He spends the time doing something else to help Ogerpon, something neither you nor Carmine seemingly thought needed to be done: telling the town the truth that she was never a bad guy. Because of course Kieran understands best just how hard it is for Ogerpon to be shunned and outcast by everyone, and of course he has some Strong Feelings that people deserve to be told the truth, hmm I wonder where that might have come from. This task is really difficult and scary for him, too, because he hates talking to people – but he does it anyway, for Ogerpon’s sake! What a brave lad!

(I’ve seen people side-eye the fact that the villagers accept the truth and turn around their view of Ogerpon so easily, but honestly it doesn’t seem unreasonable to me. I get the mask maker way back when being persecuted because the villagers of the time saw Ogerpon kill the Three and made assumptions, but, like, it’s been generations. All of the witnesses who had that emotional gut reaction to the fight are long dead. Most of the people alive today didn’t even truly believe the story of the ogre was real until the Loyal Three showed up – they just thought it was a fun folktale that gives their village some unique culture. So for them to be told “hey, the ogre is real, but also the story’s backwards and the ogre’s actually the good guy”… so what? I was always sceptical of Grandpa’s conviction that the truth must never be told to the village (because… people will get angry that they were lied to? So therefore you should just keep lying to them so they never find out they have something to be angry about? Yes, great tactic, it worked so well on Kieran). Kieran basically just went and proved that there really was nothing to be worried about all along and the people should have been told the truth ages ago.)

His final chance to be strong

So now we reach the end, where Ogerpon makes it clear that she wants to stay with you, and… and even though he must have seen this coming, Kieran can’t accept it happening without trying to fight against it.

This isn’t even really about Kieran wanting Ogerpon’s friendship in and of itself. It’s more about what the concept of being partners with Ogerpon means to him. This whole time, he’s been obsessed with the ogre, and yet only letting himself imagine that maybe one day when he’s stronger, he could be its friend. He’s fixated on the idea of befriending Ogerpon as something that will mean he’s strong and no longer alone and everything is good now. Obviously this is extremely irrational and not necessarily true nor the sole way to fix his problems, but that’s how things are in Kieran’s head.

And so, with recent events making him feel even more weak and outcast than ever, you being effortlessly strong and cool enough to befriend Ogerpon on top of everything else feels to Kieran like it’s about to take away his one chance to turn things around, forever. Of course he can’t just let that happen without at least trying to have things his way. He says right at the beginning of the battle: “I know you’re probably a better trainer for Ogerpon, but I… I…” – and he can’t even voice the end of that sentence. He can’t put into words why he feels like he needs to become Ogerpon’s partner even though he knows he's being selfish and she’d be better off with you, because it’s not based in any conscious logic and is all just one big subconscious irrational mess of his issues and inferiority complex.

I’ve seen a lot of people condemn Kieran for this part, saying that he’s ignoring Ogerpon’s wishes because he’s planning to force her to join him whether she wants to or not if he wins. However, I firmly disagree that Kieran has any such thing in mind here. Remember, he’s still labouring under the misconception that what Ogerpon cares about most is strength. He thinks she likes you so much because you’re so strong (remember the previous time he battled you in front of the den, where he commented that the ogre must be thinking how strong you are if it’d seen that?), and that she refused the mask from him that one time because he’s weak. So Kieran has convinced himself that if he can prove himself to be stronger than you, by defeating you in a battle while Ogerpon’s watching, then she’ll naturally choose him to be her trainer over you. Right?

When Carmine says that he has to consider Ogerpon’s feelings, Kieran’s simply silent for a moment before saying “…I want to battle anyway.” He’s not denying that Ogerpon’s choice is what matters – he just believes, or is at least trying to believe, that her choice will be determined by this battle. And of course he doesn’t say anything like “Ogerpon will choose me if I’m stronger than you”, because – well, perhaps because a lot of this is also subconscious enough that he can’t articulate it, but even if any of it was conscious, he knows it’d sound stupid. Especially the part where he’d be talking like it’s possible for him to beat you, because deep down, he still completely convinced that’s impossible.

Plus, nowhere in this does Kieran bring up the fact that he told the village the truth about Ogerpon as a point in his favour for why she might choose him – which supports that it’s not about any kind of friendly gestures to him and he’s convinced she’ll make her decision entirely based on strength. (And it also proves that he did that out of a genuine desire to help Ogerpon, without any ulterior motives of trying to get her to like him!)

Just before the battle, he says: “Whoever wins gets to be Ogerpon’s partner… So don’t… don’t you dare hold back!” – making a point of demanding you don’t hold back, even though you might think he’d want any advantage he can get towards supposedly winning Ogerpon’s favour. But this makes perfect sense when you realise what this is about to Kieran. He believes that Ogerpon will choose (and deserves to choose) whichever of you is the strongest, and this battle won’t actually prove that if he only wins because you were holding back against him.

Kieran also thanks you for not holding back when you land your first super effective hit, which I enjoy. He’s so used to being patronised and seen as weak and pathetic, so he’s actually glad that you’re taking him seriously and viewing him as a legitimate opponent.

And, hey, he is! His team is pretty stacked: a full six Pokémon with solid movesets, and even strategic held items (at least in the postgame version). Assuming you’re not over-levelled, it’s quite a challenging fight, as it should be. Kieran is trying so, so hard to be strong enough, because this poor kid has convinced himself that all of his problems and pain are due to him being weak, and he is so desperate to fix that by proving himself even stronger than you, strong enough to win Ogerpon’s favour.

When he loses, he just crumples, and it’s heartbreaking. Kieran had so much more riding on this battle than just befriending Ogerpon – this was what felt like his one and only chance to stamp out the part of him that feels crushingly inferior and like he deserves to be treated like dirt. Guhhh.

And of course the first thing out of his mouth is, “Figures.” His inferiority complex runs so deep that, no matter how hard he’d trained and how genuinely really good his team had grown, he never truly believed that he ever had a chance at beating someone as cool and strong as you. He was just desperately trying to convince himself that he at least had a shot, because he couldn’t bear to give up without trying.

I really wish you could tell Kieran how good he was in this battle! It truly is impressive how much better he’s grown at battling since the first one, in such a short space of time, too. Just because he’s not quite as strong as you doesn’t mean he’s weak, not by a long shot. But nobody tells him any such thing, so Kieran continues to view things in that irrationally all-or-nothing way. He lost, so he's weak, end of.

Then he has to stand there and watch you battle Ogerpon in order to catch her. Before all of this happened, Kieran would have been so stoked to see his hero the ogre showing off just how cool and strong she is – and hey, her powers really are pretty awesome to behold! But here, despite the amazing spectacle in front of him, Kieran just looks supremely awkward. Like he doesn’t feel like he deserves to be here. Like he doesn’t even have the right to get to see Ogerpon’s full strength in all its glory. You’re the only one who’s strong enough to have earned this.

He does make one possible comment during the battle, if you land a critical hit on Ogerpon: “You really are good… I’m no match.” Which is a bit excessive, considering that really anyone is capable of critting Ogerpon if they get lucky – but apparently Kieran’s thoughts during this battle are still incredibly hung up on just how strong you are and how he’ll never be able to measure up to you. This goes to show that his issues at this point have shifted to be more about you than about Ogerpon. Which tracks, since his admiration for the ogre was never quite about Ogerpon herself and was more about what her strength represented to him – and now you’ve come along and given him an even bigger example of impossibly cool strength, in a much more painful way.

Once you’ve captured Ogerpon, Kieran manages to awkwardly congratulate you on it – hey, he’s doing his best not to be a sore loser! – laments once again why he can’t be like you, and then runs off. No doubt he’s feeling a huge heap of uncontainable painful emotions that he does not want to show in front of you or Carmine and needs to go let out in private. This kid is Not Okay.

So, in summary: Kieran comes out of all this with the message that all of his pain and suffering and loneliness is his fault because he’s still too weak, and he will only ever be strong enough to put all that behind him once he’s stronger than you. And to do that, he needs to get so, so much stronger, almost impossibly so, no matter what he has to do to achieve it. I’m sure this will be Just Fine leading into The Indigo Disk. (: (: (:

And one last thing: the game doesn’t let this happen, but if Kieran had won that final battle against you, I believe things might actually have turned out better. Because let’s face it, Ogerpon would probably still have chosen to go with you anyway, and if she had, Kieran would have been forced to face the fact that it was never actually about strength to her. It wouldn’t even be that hard for him to understand that, given that he’d already noticed the indications that she was scared of being shunned by the townspeople and that she liked you because you made her feel safe. This would help Kieran recontextualise things a little and stop focusing so unhealthily on gaining more battling strength as the One Thing that will solve all his problems. He still wouldn’t exactly be suddenly fixed and happy, but… things wouldn’t be quite so bad, at least. Alas, you are Too Protagonist to lose and let that happen.

[mamapyjama]

Thought I ought to bring this over here for the Tumblr crew since it’s making a little buzz in the other place and I want to gather all my thoughts in one place.

So, back in 2022 I was in my feelings about Izuku (when am I not?) and wrote the following little sad headcanon on twt:

Made myself sad thinking about how the original Japanese word for Quirk is ‘kosei’, which means ‘individuality’ or the unique part of a personality. It’s no wonder Deku thought he was plain and useless. Everyone has literally been telling him since he was 4. 😓 Like, there’s no way at that age he could separate people talking about his lack of meta-ability from his own unique value as a person when they’re using the same damn word. That’s the kind of stuff that’s going to stick with you. 🥺

Sad to imagine, eh?

Fast forward to 2024 and chapter 412, and as always, I was browsing the jp fandom tweets for reactions after the official release. They often pick up on things we miss like Katsuki’s childlike language, the NTR implications of the kudoichi plot etc.

As I scrolled, I realised there was a HUGE disconnect between what we in “The West” were experiencing (mostly rage at yet another translation ‘choice’) and the existential questioning that was occurring among Japanese readers.

This is just a tiny glimpse, but you should know that every single one I saw was doing the tweet equivalent of staring into the middle distance with a haunted look.

It’s all about the panel below, which was mentioned by the incomparable Pikahlua, as it is unusual in writing ‘mukosei’ without the speechmarks that signify ‘quirkless’ (to use the English term) rather than ‘lacking individuality’.

Horikoshi always uses speechmarks around “Kosei” when talking about quirks, so the implication here is that Izuku never believed he had actual individuality/personality.

Using this interpretation, Kudou observed that Izuku held the hope that even people who were detestable (Katsuki) and those who had no individuality (Izuku) still had human hearts.

Read that again. Izuku hoped that both he and Kacchan, despite their shortcomings, had human hearts. He thinks his only worth is as a vessel, a holder of OFA, and without that he’s barely human.

Ever noticed how some parts of the fandom complain that Deku is a boring MC, that he’s just ‘nice’, and we never get his opinions on things? Yeah.

Remember how hard he cried when All Might said he could be a hero? That was the first time in his life that someone acknowledged him as someone with potential, with worth. (In ch2 he also says “I have no reason to refuse!!” when offered OFA, which always struck me as slightly anticlimactic but makes way more sense now).

And remember how he cried in a similar way when Ochako told the world that he wasn’t special but that he had a special power? She couldn’t have known she was reinforcing his deepest held insecurity, and for a moment his mask slipped. Or maybe he was touched by her assertion that he was just a ‘regular high school kid’? We don’t know, but it’s worth taking a look at these moments in this new light.

You staring into the middle distance with a haunted look too yet? I know I am.

If you’re interested in the bright side (I needed this, I hope it helps):

Narratively speaking, this is the angst section that will lead to Midoriya Izuku: Rising and the happy ending they all deserve.

And the person most likely to disavow him of this sense of inherent worthlessness is the one person who added to it the most in their childhoods.

✨KACCHAN!!✨

No one else can reassure Izuku that he is special, that he’s worthwhile and—crucially—that he always has been, because he’s the only one who knew that all along.

If you need more reassurance, remember that their Origin and Rising chapters so far have all involved each other and have mirrored the emotional journey they’re both on.

Bakugou Katsuki: Origin: Katsuki struggles to accept Izuku and work as a team to battle All Might. Eventually does the bare minimum to cooperate by lending him his gauntlet.

Bakugou Katsuki: Rising: Katsuki coordinates the pro heroes and sacrifices himself to save Izuku. His body ‘moved on its own.’

Midoriya Izuku: Origin: Izuku is bullied by Katsuki, tries to save Katsuki from a villain—his body ‘moved on its own’, and is consequently told he can be a hero by All Might.

It isn’t a reach at all to pretty safely assume that Izuku’s Rising chapter will also be intrinsically linked to Katsuki, and it is his cooperation, faith and love (however you interpret it) that will finally save Izuku from his own sense of worthlessness. Closing the circle.

So yeah, this bit could be rough for the next few chapters, but I have faith that Horikoshi will wrap it up in a way that will be so rewarding and satisfying.

I’m gonna stop now because I’m ill and I need to rest my head, thanks for reading! 😮‍💨

[lullabyes22-blog]

Snippet - Order in the Court - Forward but Never Forget/XOXO

An impromptu confession...

Forward, but Never Forget/XOXO

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, the hour is late. The day is spent. There are verdicts yet to pass. But it is time for you, as the bell tolls, to weigh the truth on its sliding scale of good and evil, and render judgment on the man and woman who, together, wedded forces and birthed a revolution.

Wedded?

Beg your pardon. That is a premature metaphor. The timing's not quite right.

Allow Silco, first, to summon his last witness to the stand. The one who stands by him, still. 

Sevika: please rise.

Introductions are hardly necessary. Most of the courtroom are already acquainted with her, Zaun being such a small city and all. If there's still lingering confusion over her identity, permit him to offer this small synopsis.

Sevika is the Eye of Zaun's XO. His second-in-command: stalwart right-hand to the loose cannon of a left.

Madam, please state your full name, for the record.

Sevika Mitra.

And where were you born, Sevika?

The Fissures.

And how long have you been here?

All my life.

What do you do for a living?

I fight.

And what, exactly, do you fight for?

For Zaun.

Only Zaun?

For Zaun... and for him.

You mean the Eye?

No, not the Eye.

Who, then? State his name for the record.

Sil.

The courtroom grows restless. The crowd stirs. Ghosts have that effect.

That's what dear old Sil is now: a ghost. That's to say, no longer corporeal. A pity. He might've made a more sympathetic defendant. Certainly, a more attractive one. Leather pants and a pair of twinkling blue eyes work wonders on a tough crowd.

But Sil—like the rest of 'em; good riddance to the lot—is gone.

The court must make do with his proxy: a shadowy wretch with the sinister thinness and ruthless ambition of a knife's edge. The two-faced serpent, thrice-damned in the name of Janna, who slithers at the heart of this tale.

You, ladies and gents of the jury, know him full well. You know his skulduggery, you know his sins, you know his sentence. You know, too, that it cannot be commuted.

But Sevika, standing tall, isn't here to testify on the proxy's behalf. She's here to plead for the absent: the ghost in the machine.

And her plea, ladies and gentlemen, is this:

Spare the proxy, so the ghost may live.

A bold assertion. But Sevika's a bold woman. A life-bitten beauty, all burnished bronze and brazen black. She keeps the surface of herself hammered flat. No cracks; no tells. But the longer one looks, the more one sees.  Her hardness hides a story. So, too, does her habit of standing in doorways and hoarding space around her body.  She doesn't simply stand her ground. She owns it: every square inch. 

Trespass at your own risk.

Silco, the proxy, has trespassed. More than once.  That's how he likes it: seeping into the cracks, and claiming them for himself. He claims Sevika, too, and she lets him. His favorite spot is forty-five degrees to the right. That's where her silhouette holds its place. Always a half-step behind him; just barely in his field of vision. Always within arm's reach, when the need strikes. Like a gun stowed under the table, or a dagger holstered in the thigh.

A cold comfort, but when your calling is violence, that's the most reliable kind.

Within Silco's expensive portfolio of assets, he'd list Sevika high on the priority register. As a worker, she's ruthlessly pragmatic—the type who poses common sense solutions to problems big and small. As a second, she is diligent in her duties—working as the Eye's social ally on the streets and handling his myriad affairs behind the scenes. As a woman, she is a bulwark of strength, with a ferocious temper that can reduce lesser men to ash.

Mind you. These are defense mechanisms, not character traits.

Revolution is bloody business. Sevika knows that she has only her instincts to trust. Those must be well-honed, lest a lapse in judgement put the entire operation at risk. She's got to be a bitch, and she's got to be a dragon.

But even dragons have their raw spots.  The rawest are the most closely guarded.

Take her left arm. To some, it's a disfigurement. But if that's all they see, they're missing the bigger picture. Her arm's a chronicle in three-acts. A symbol, foremost, of service to a cause. But also: of sacrifice to a higher calling.  And, lastly, of a vow: sealed in steel.

It's a vow that's kept her swinging for years, until the last shot's fired, and the last gasp's gone, and the last drop of victory's been wrung from the feeble, flailing fist of Fate.

It's her arm. But she'll use it for Zaun's sake, to the bitter end.

Zaun's, and Sil's.

What, Sevika, was the nature of your relationship with Sil?

I was his comrade.

Comrade-in-arms? Or partner-in-crime?

Both.

Were you lovers?

Yes.

Are you and the defendant lovers now?

More.

Explain yourself.

Ask the smirking jackass at the defence table.

Please, madam. Let's keep things civil. Though, it must be said, the defendant does appear rather pleased. There's a stack of papers in his hands. He's shuffling through them like a deck of cards: a crisply efficient thrrrrrrp, followed by a neat stacking, and a fluid two-fingered split.

One by one, he deals the papers out for the counsel's perusal. All the while, his mouth cuts in a slow, private smile.

One sheet's a license, signed and dated. The second's a newspaper clipping. The third, an ultrasound.

What, Madam, is the meaning of these documents?

The bastard's taunting you.

Taunting the court?

Yeah.

What gives him the gall?

Principally, he's a sadist.

Secondarily?

He knows a wife can't testify against her husband.

Madam Sevika—are you saying you're wedded to the defendant?!

I am.

The courtroom erupts. The jury's up in arms. The judge is apoplectic. His gavel's pounding like a war drum. Wedded? Did you say, wedded? This is highly irregular. What is the nature of the evidence? Is it authentic? When did the nuptials occur? Who recorded the proceedings? Where were the vows exchanged?

And, most importantly, why didn't anyone notify the bloody court?

Why, indeed.

The defendant's smirk spreads into a full-blown smile.

[lillysilvermoon]

Which Feminine Energy do you have?

Pile 1

You are in the light feminine spectrum, you have a very gentile, loving and nurturing energy, but it's actually well balanced!! You see, we have both feminine and masculine energy, and both of yours are in the light feminine. This means even when you have to be more rational or do some job or be put in a situation where you need to be in you Yang side, your femininity still shines. You are very connected with your emotions, intuition and spiritual side. You can be someone very sensitive depending what happens maybe you can have the need to walk away and never comeback mood, when you are putted in a place with too much hostility you probably have a hard time standing up for your self, since you are well balanced you would try to find a common ground to get through the work without engaging in any kind of competition. In the other hand, when you get attached or harassed by others you can - and will - indeed defend your beliefs, because your feminine and masculine are balanced you would be defensive, assertive and determined not to just defend what you believe and care for but to pursue your dreams and goals. I just heard "fiercely kind". You have this ability, some can even envy it, to defend what you believe with a lot of classy and calmness. Some of you probably like arts, like painting, drawing, playing instruments (and you don't have to be perfect or super good, you just enjoy it, like some hobby of y'all). You have a innocent look and charming vibes, and a very diplomatic personality. Most of you probably are The Mediator of the group and have a very child like personality

Y'all also attract a lot of sexual attention especially from men but most of you are shy and need someone who makes you feel safe to let your spontaneous side appear.

Since you are well balanced you probably have a dreamy looks - and can be a day dreamer sometimes - you are very warm and grounding, you are not afraid of be vulnerable and this authenticity together with your vulnerability makes other lower their guards. You do no game, you a very emotional available person.

Signs: full moon, water signs (scorpio, pisces and cancer), virgo, air and fire placements are important, 5, 555, 222, 5555

Pile 2

It's 222 right now lmao maybe it's a important angel number for someone here BUT let's get into your reading, shall we?

Well, your feminine energy is very free, one of your cards was 2 of Wands and the world, definitely a free spirit. You like to travel over the sea, see new places and meet new people, very extroverted energy. You know I just thought about the Gamine archetype, and there is this phrase of Princess Diana "I don't go by the rule book... I leas from the heart not head", isn't that you don't respect legal rules or anything, but you have a certainly disregard for protocol and social rules or what people call "socially acceptable", you do what you want just following your heart, just heard the phrase from Pocahontas "she goes wherever the wind takes her". Your feminine energy is very free, you do what you think is correctly regards if others approve or not. You probably will manage to have some youthful charm even with adulthood. You captivate others by your sense of humor. You have an unselfconscious sensual side and lightness that enthralls. You are receptive, compassionate and simply free.

Signs: fire signs (Leo, aries and sagittarius), cancer, financial problems, travel, 2222, 333, 444, 222, travels, ocean.

Pile 3

I don't even finished shuffling the cards and just heard "boss b*itch" and "don't take sh*it from anyone" guess we have our boss girl pile🤣. Okay I finished shuffling the cards and also heard "charming personality" and "luxurious" soooooo let's get started I'm excited. First you clearly have very strong personality, you stand up for yourself and speak your truth, you definitely don't like injustice and you fight for what's right, you definitely are in the Boss archetype (but I will talk about this later). You like to experience life, trade over seas, and probably would get involved in long distance relationships or holidays romances. Mix of beauty and brains, but with a touch of hearts, because you have a very emotional and romantic side, but is not everyone here ( actually for this Pile I think it's a VERY small group). You have a very confident aura, you like to move and planning forward to see your hard work paying off.

When a successful man meets you is like perfect match. Y'all are SO GIRL BOSS I CAN'T- really, most of you strive for success and power, your work and knowledge are very important to you, very goal oriented and honestly? You don't really need anyone, very independent, so when a man senses this, that you don't fundamentally needs him, you will ignite his instincts to chase and conquer (I'm SMILING here y'all are so damn good at this, please share your tips with us 🤣🤣). But you know what is funny? You probably thrive well in Male environments, most likely enjoy conversations about business or political stuff, but you have a very emotional side, you deal with your emotions in a very private away and don't like to share with others. But with the people you trust, you can be very sweet and sensitive. Besides, you a very romantic side. I just saw a imagine in my minds eye of a woman laying on her (very fancy) sofa in a living room (y'all know this kind of minimalist rich decoration? It's like this) reading a romance.

You also have a very luxurious personality, you like fancy stuff and care a lot about your appearance.

Signs: libra, Taurus, 1, pearl necklace, tiffany's, 1111, 66, 33, 5.

Pile 4

Like pile 1 you a very light feminine side, but while pile 1 is well balanced you let your heart rule over your heart (this means you have very feminine energy but are imbalanced) but let's see. You probably have been given too much without receive nothing in return. Maybe you feel overly sensitive, needy and emotionally exhausted. BUT, you are more than capable of overcome this, you see, since you are very connected with your heart and have a very kind, compassionate nature, it's easier for you to fall of track, but you have a courageous heart, you are not afraid of moving on of people or situations and do the work to progress, you also may like to travel and have a tendency to holiday romance like our friend 3. You have a tendency to go inwards and do self reflection (which helps you back to balance with your femininity). You have a very nurturing, maternal and kind nature, some kind of unaffected charm you know? It's the simple things, the sparkle in your eyes, the away you move your hands or your voice that makes others fall for you.

Signs: new moon, Taurus and libra placements are important, 555, 33333, 444.

Here it is♡ I hope y'all liked, I had SO MUCH fun doing this reading and hope you enjoy it. See you soon, lots of love.

- Lia

[animeyanderelover]

Anon: Could I please request yandere headcannons for: gokudera, yamamoto, spanner, dr shamal, basil, ryohei, dino, hibari, haru and squalo from khr?

Yandere Katekyo Hitman Reborn Hc's

Miura Haru

👘​There is no chance in heaven nor hell that people won't know about Haru's feelings for you because she is anything but discreet about how much she loves you. She is openly declaring how much her heart is pounding whenever she sees you and she often awakes the impression that she is retelling a love poem whenever you are around as she confesses every sappy thought she has in her mind. Haru is very obsessive because she is very firm in her decision that she will be your future wife so she is already busily memorizing everything she can about you. This may already be a tad bit disturbing as it is although it could still be trivialised as her just being very attentive when it comes to you. The attentiveness probably stops when you realise that she has even memorized where you walk as soon as you leave the house and at which times you are most likely to go out to buy some groceries.

👘​The innocent-looking cinnamon roll takes it with her observations maybe just a tad bit too far as she essentially stalks you and lies in wait for you to turn up. She would like to see her behavior as dedication to the person she loves most in the world. Can you not understand her desire to spend time with you? You wouldn't think about sending her away after she has waited for you here all this time, right? Haru is extremely single-minded in her pursuit and this makes her very delusional and dismissive if you should ever try to explain to her that she couldn't be more wrong with her assumptions. Instead you will only hurt her feelings. Whilst she would never be truly angry with you, when you see the tears bubbling up in her eyes you can't help feeling like you are the bad guy. Since Haru won't even hold her emotions back when in public, everything is made even more complicated because the last thing you want is making her cry whilst others are watching.

👘​Haru gets quite easily jealous but it is at the same time also quite easy to de-escalate her emotions if you explain to her who the person is or if you simply involve her in the discussion. Her social attitude will solve the rest and by the end of the conversation she has probably made a new friend. That is if you actually notice that she is watching because otherwise things can take a more interesting turn. Haru has a very lively imagination to the point where she feels like she is witnessing a scandal in the making whenever you converse with someone she does not know and don't introduce that person to her afterwards. For whatever reason instead of simply asking you about it, she comes up with the most complex solution of stalking you and the other person in one of her questionable outfits she chose to blend in mission failed as she follows you two around. Safe to say, you have spotted her every single time and managed to untangle the misunderstanding which quickly lifts her mood.

👘​Whilst Haru could always take the easy route of asking Tsuna for help who just happens to be the head of the mafia, she likes to take matters into her own hands. As kind and caring as she is, she can be very assertive if she wants to be and can whop someone's ass verbally if they should have wronged you. Her persistence and stubbornness are her finest weapons and she can very likely wear someone down by remaining so single-minded as she can use her stalking tendencies to find out where someone lives if she is upset enough with them. In situations where more caution would be adviced you better stop her because she doesn't seem to work with a rational mindset at times when she tries to solve even such problems for you by dressing up as a samurai or another fitting costume in her arsenal to defend you. Asking her friends for help is a last resort, especially since they are real mafioso.

👘​She has already envisioned it all. From the house you two will buy to the colour you paint the walls with the every single furniture you're going to have in your shared home. She has even started practicing to cook your favorite meals to be able to make you really happy as soon as the both of you live together. Don't even try to shatter her dreams unless you want to summon her tears. It isn't like Haru would actually ever kidnap you because she does not have the heart to do so. She would never hurt your feelings like that. At the same time she is so painfully optimistic and delusional about the matter. She is saving up money already to buy the house of her dreams and she is even telling all the people around her very excitedly about her visions. You just have a hard time ruining her her dreams because whilst she would probably accept your decision, she would never recover from her crushed dreams and hopes.

👘​Haru is very clingy and since she is always waiting for you to turn up to have the chance to spend as much time with you as she possibly can, it is quite hard to shake her off. She already has a "Haru Appreciation Day" and you get an appreciation day once a month too. It is a day where she is going to be even more affectionate and will spoil you even more than she normally does already and it is very likely that she will very soon make one to celebrate the fact that you two are a couple as well. She has a fascination with cosplaying and costumes already so she will 100% want you two to wear matching outfits or cosplay as fictional couples. She's even sewing you shirts with embroidery stating that you are her lover and she gets sad if you don't wear what she has sewn you. She doesn't understand your uncomfortableness with wearing something that has such cheesy words written on it.

Gokudera Hayato

🧨Above all else, Gokudera will be the most loyal simp you have ever seen in your entire life. He is infatuated with you to the point where he can even justify some stuff that normally should demand an apology from you as he likes to think that you are a good person through and through and that it's the fault of the people around you for triggering you. Whilst he can be a tad bit delusional with this particular way of thinking, he won't let everything you do just slide like this because even he can recognize if you were clearly in the wrong in a certain situation but even then he will probably go easy on you. Hayato, even if he likes to let you off the hook easy with his mindset, is up to a certain point still more aware of his obsession that is rapidly evolving and funnily enough he is a tad bit embarrassed about it initially. That is only a short phase though before he throws all worries out of the window and just dedicates himself to you.

🧨His dedication can go indeed quite far as he does some good research on you because even if he has quite a bit of a temper, Gokudera is also awfully smart and methodical. That naturally includes that he literally notes down the habits and preferences he is able to figure out by observing you and he will even go as far as casually stalking you, although he is smart enough to not let himself get caught. There is a possessive streak he has and he likes to express that often because of his hot-tempered nature. He has sworn loyalty and dedication to you after all even if you never asked for it and due to this oath he has made he tends to be more arrogant as well as very protective. After all none of the other people you waste your time with would know as much about you as he does not would they be willing to go as far for you as he would. If you don't see that yet, he will gladly prove himself to you.

🧨His explosive temper is going to be quite difficult to handle as he is almost always irritable and hostile to the people around you. It is because he has promised himself that he would be the one to love and protect you best that he gets even more frustrated and angry whenever someone else thinks they're the shit and can do what he can obviously do better. If his patience snaps he will beat someone up and that without much consideration or regret. Hayato is still lucid enough to realise that you probably wouldn't appreciate him beating someone up in front of you so he tries to not get physically violent if you are around, although he certainly can't hold back all of his jealousy as he instead vents out his frustration through his words. He can always beat them up later when you aren't around. Everyone who tries to charm you and protect you is his rival but he will most certainly fight for his spot for you to want him as your lover and protector.

🧨I believe the most evident sign of his sheer dedication and willingness to really uphold his oath of protecting you from all harm is shown in the almost jarring difference in his attitude when he is presented with no other choice but murdering someone. His jealous and violent behavior, as immature and harming it can be, is still a mere child's play. Even Gokudera knows about the weight of killing someone and that hasn't changed even if he is the Storm Guardian of the current mafia generation. Taking someone's life is a serious matter and for that reason he will take it just as serious as well. Instead of impulsively storming to his victim and killing them, he is far more methodical and meticulous with his plans. Depending on whom it is he sees the need to murder he either only uses his dynamite to set a trap or uses his Box Weapon. If he is going to murder someone in cold blood, he will do it properly and not play around.

🧨He will most likely show enough understanding that an abduction might be a bit more extreme but at the same time he is a part of the Vongola Family. He knows very well that the life he has chosen is not safe and that is why he tends to be very overprotective and in urgent situations even controlling as he then wants you to listen to every instruction he gives you. There is this bad reputation clinging to the mafia so Hayato greatly hesitates to even inform you about his occupation. A scenario where you get kidnapped by him is usually one where he finds himself in a desperate situation that could either include the danger of your own life or the danger of the relationship. Whilst it will be more of a spontanous decision, Gokudera still somehow manages to squeeze in a plan as he has to act swiftly, especially if your life is indeed in danger due to another gang targeting you. He knows that it'll be confusing and frightening but he is begging you for a chance to listen to him at least.

🧨Despite the bad boy image that Hayato is often cultivating, he gets surprisingly easily flustered whenever you pay any attention to him. He always becomes hyper-aware of every twitch of his lips and tries his best to not embarrass himself. Instead he's always trying to use the chance to look cool and impress you so if someone else steals your attention away whilst he is in the middle of attempting to amaze you, his jealousy quickly returns. You will be the sweetest thing to him with every small affection that you give him because he will always turn a bit red in his face. His tough appearance melts when he is around you and specifically if he is alone with you because then he can truly dedicate all of his attention and focus to you instead of getting triggered by the people around you. As soft as he can be with you though, Hayato is very serious and will enforce decisions on you if he should ever suspect your life to be at risk.

Yamamoto Takeshi

💧​Yamamoto is terribly oblivious as he will probably remain forever ignorant of his obsessive feelings. This is after all the same boy who has been treating the whole mafia affair as some sort of role play and even as he grows older and matures more, you can not hope him to ever consider his love as something that could potentially be a tad bit dangerous. At least you are lucky enough though that Yamamoto is such an easy-going and relaxed guy who isn't very possessive nor is he really controlling. What he will be though is protective and I can definitely see this as a trait that will amplify as the years go by and he gains more knowledge and especially more battle experience as the Rain Guardian of Tsuna. After all he can be as relaxed in battle and with his overall life only as long as no one he cares about greatly is brought in danger because of it. He learns that it isn't all fun and games to him the moment you are in danger.

💧​Even if you were to somehow know of his obsession with you, you will have a very hard time convincing others of it and chances are that even you will have troubles believing it. It is Takeshi's very personality that makes it so hard to accept and believe it. He is kind and warm-hearted and he has a very special ability to get on friendly terms with most people he engages with. This will mean that you will be in troubles if you would try to avoid him because not only is he going to charm most of your acquaintances and friends anyways but they will most likely pick his side and would think that you are in the wrong. If Yamamoto wouldn't be such a good and kind individual, he would be a frighteningly good manipulator so just be thankful that he is always so painfully sincere with every gesture and word of his. That doesn't mean that you will be able to avoid him if you choose to do so though as even your own friends might try to help Takeshi.

💧​Differently from Hayato, Yamamoto will showcase a great amount of patience and respect with most people you engage with. His own willingness to befriend the people you hang around with regularly only aids in this as this means that he is already familiar with most people around you anyways. Even if he were to feel jealous it is not like he is going to make a big drama about it but is going to handle the situation maturely. If he doesn't know someone yet and he gets uncomfortable with the way they behave around you, he will tell you so whilst also asking who that was. He's just informing you whenever someone has made him slightly uncomfortable with the way they are behaving around you and he will tell the other person about it just as much. It is all fine though but only as long as he can expect the same level of respect and maturity from the other person. If they instead choose to act immature, Yamamoto will make sure to keep them away from you.

💧​Usually known as a peacekeeper, Takeshi is fully capable of acting accordingly if a situation should turn dire and that is easier if you are involved than if it would be only him. He is able to maintain a level of calmness in combat but he tends to be more frantic and panicked if you should get involved which is why he takes according preparation to ensure that you won't get involved and will be used as a distraction against him. He has a code of honor though as he doesn't walk around and beats everyone up who gets on his nerves nor does he stain his sword in needless blood. He only ever draws his sword in a dire situation. Whilst he is considerate enough to give someone a warning if they should slowly get on his bad side, the fun has already stopped for him there. All signs of a warm smile on his face are already gone at that point and instead there is this serious and almost somber aura around him that makes the air heavy. Don't underestimate him, although be reassured that at least he will give his victims a swift death.

💧​Despite the existing obliviousness that he has when it comes to the ability to recognise his own wrong feelings for you, Takeshi also draws a line he tries to not tresspass under normal circumstances. Next to the act of taking a life, the act of abducting his darling is also something he normally wouldn't dare to do. His position as the Storm Guardian may be one filled with more risks and danger but he also makes sure to enable you to live a normal life. I don't really see him permanently abducting you but he will take certain meassurements for your safety if the situation calls for it. That can include relocating you to a safer and better guarded and protected place and restricting your ability to walk freely and alone around for an unknown period of time. Those conditions are never something permanent though as they only last as long as the situation is still grave.

💧​His good-natured personality might to more harm for you than it can do good for you at times because you somehow always end up being blamed for misunderstanding the situation if you truly try to avoid him or just aren't interested in him as he ends up stealing the hearts of all the people around you. Almost chivalrous in his courting, Takeshi is also unable to be stopped in his attempts to woo you. His determination is overflowing and he never gives up his hopes no matter how much you try to tell him that you aren't interested. Even if he may be considerate enough to back off and stop, you can always sense that he is waiting for the next chance. He often invites you over to the sushi bar his father owns and ends up preparing you sushi for free, even if you insist on paying.

Sasagawa Ryohei

👊​As someone who lives by the motto of living to the extreme, you can probably already imagine how Ryohei is. He gives 120% all of the time and that naturally includes his behavior around you. Ryohei dabbles into the full-blown delusional area of his obsession. You are his passion, his heart is set on fire whenever he sees you and all the potentially worrying behavior he starts exhibiting due to his feelings all fly over his head as he can easily dismiss them as acts of his passion for you. You think that it is quite creepy that he is always insisting on following you around wherever you go to the point where he even sprints to you if you try to leave earlier in order to be freed from his company? You're being silly, he just wants to make sure that he can protect you if something should happen. A particular focus of his seems to be his fixation on thinking that it is his job to protect you since he is your boyfriend.

👊​His delusional streak makes the normally already obstinate boy even more sturdy as every rejection coming from you flies over his head to the point where he even forgets that you ever had the conversation with him in the first place. Whilst he is at least not that bad to the point where he literally misunderstands everything from you as a sign of your secret feelings for him, he is still quite good in erasing everything "inconvenient" from his mind. Did I mention that he is clingy? He has to be involved in your life as much as he can and he does so even if he ends up making you a tad bit more uncomfortable by inserting himself arguably more forceful into your daily routine. If he doesn't do exactly that, he in fact can get quite twitchy as he doesn't really like not being up to date and actively involved in your life for a longer amount of time.

👊​Bring. It. On. Jealousy from Ryohei's side can very quickly activate his competitive nature where he sees every provocation from someone else as a challenge and since it really isn't his personality to back away from a fight, he will accept the challenge that probably only exists in his own mind. It isn't even out of character for him to actually ask someone if they would fight him in a boxing match. He really doesn't think such things through and he is quite fine with that as he is always ready for a fight and that eagerness is especially triggered if he finds a "rival" he has to compete against. The problem here is thst Ryohei is exceptionally quick to feel jealous, don't underestimate how passionate his feelings for you actually are. Chances are due to this that someone gets involved who isn't even interested in you and Ryohei insists on a fight because if someone isn't even couragous enough to face him, they are not worthy of you.

👊​His willingness to battle even extends to more life-threatening fights where his own life is on the line as he sees every obstacle as a chance to grow stronger. However, Ryohei is firm in his belief that his lover has nothing to do with his battles so he always makes sure never let you get involved in any dangerous activities, especially once he starts working for the Vongola Family. The thing is that he doesn't really think too much the moment someone infuriates him because then the result is usually a broken jaw as he impulsively punches them. His passion can turn quite deadly if you are at risk as it can turn into mindless wrath where he just starts violently attacking someone without stopping until he has calmed down. Whilst this reckless and impulsive behavior dies down a bit as he gets older, I would argue that the new maturity he brings to the task is perhaps even more terrifying as he lets his victim know that he is going to kill them and that they should at least show him that they have some honor by fighting back instead of begging pathetically for their life.

👊​As a student this is honestly a tad bit amusing but for the biggest portion just scary. Ryohei doesn't force you in his life because it has always been the other way around. He forces himself in your life. Whenever he is in the mood, he just pops up in front of your house and screams in front of your window that he wants to see you. The whole neighborhood knows about his feelings because he really doesn't hold back to express them to you in about every loud way possible. So during his younger years he always comes to you when he feels like you might be in danger, fully prepared to defend you. He only really gets the needed capacities to kidnap you when he joins the mafia and matures as it is only then that he realises that an abduction is a thing. At this point he has fallen out of his worst delusional phase though and only uses that option if your life is in grave danger. The whole plan will be more or less a spontanous act though as he is the one who then comes storming to your house to bring you to a safer place.

👊​Ryohei is not a good planner, especially during his time as a student. He tends to forget important stuff and details though and he becomes quite conscious of this when he starts gaining feelings for you. It would be incredibly unfitting for him to forget important details about you since he wants to be your man so he starts writting memos to not forget it. He has those same memos still years later although he doesn't need them anymore at that point. He is quite verbal and physical to express his love to you and at times he even sees it as a challenge to show you as much of his love as he can, especially if someone else is very nice to you and in this case it doesn't even matter if they are interested in you or not. He's constantly begging you to visit his boxing club or to just watch him train because he does like to show off his skills at time. Whilst the wildest parts of his personality weaken over time as he grows older, his feelings for you certainly don't.

Hibari Kyoya

🐤​Hibari is going to pose a big problem for you due to his solitary and indomitable nature as well as his naturally scary appearance. He is very possessive and shows little to no consideration to you nor to others as he wants you and he does whatever it takes to have you. Your consens isn't even really needed for that matter because as long as Hibari knows that you are his, he is going to be satisfied no matter how you may currently feel. Whilst he is actually not blind to the fact that he is very obsessed with you and that he does a lot of things that are anything but good and moral behavior, he just frankly doesn't care. Hibari is only interested in what he values and wants so he doesn't have time considering everyone's feelings, not even your own. Since he is known to use authority and even violence to everyone who doesn't follow the rules or who gets on his nerves, you can probably already imagine what that implies for you.

🐤​You have your own lovely set of rules he has made for you and he expects you to follow them as well. It is quite hypocritical that he despises being controlled or restrained but inflicts the very things he hates on you. You may be tempted to try to escape or simply ignore the rules because Hibari is actually not that present in your life but whenever you do such a wasted attempt, he finds out and will approach you quickly after with a displeased glint in his eyes. What you don't know is that whilst you may not see him every day, Hibari is watching you more often than you think. He is stalking you often from somewhere, those cold eyes trailing after you as he mentally notes every thing you do. It is due to this stalking nature that he has gathered a ton of information on you, more than you are confident with. His lonesome and possessive nature is going to isolate you naturally more, even if you aren't a social butterfly to begin with.

🐤​He values rules and expects others to stick to them. The moment he sets his eyes on you, one unspoken rule instantly becomes that no one should dare to get close to you or try to take you. Since Kyoya is quite confident in his own abilities and his strength, jealousy is perhaps not the right word to use. He is displeased and annoyed more than anything because some idiot here thinks that they can just ignore his rules. Well, it usually doesn't end well for the person anyways and unfortunately even you may become a victim to his displeasure if you should have acted in a way that has awoken the impression that you forgot that you belong to him. If this should happen often, whether it is your fault or someone else's, Kyoya will see it through to isolate you from people a lot more so that you learn your lesson. Honestly, he is being unnecessarily harsh with you but that is mainly to blame on his introverted traits.

🐤​Due to his little regard for the well-being of others, Kyoya will be especially ruthless if he decides to attack because he is always going to hurt someone. Whilst he doesn't let people die needlessly for his own interest, he will be everything but gentle on them as he just believes that people who don't value rules have to be punished. He knows that establishing his own dominance and letting others know what happens if they break rules or annoy him is the most efficient way to make them listen and obey so he does exactly that. Since you are his possession after all, he won't allow anyone to touch you nor will he allow anyone to hurt you. As cold and scary as he may be, this makes him awfully protective over you as he will go after everyone who does as much as threaten you. He is not joking around in the least bit and that means that Hibari will have a considerable kill count as the years pass by, especially once he gets involved with the mafia.

🐤​He hates crowds, he hates people, he just hates being around others in general. He prefers to be alone and he prefers you to be alone as well. It is easier to keep an eye on you then and see what you do and he also doesn't have to get irritated by the people around you. Yet I don't see Hibari going instantly for the forceful abduction because he likes to believe that you will know what you are and aren't supposed to do without him needing to actively surveil you. Don't get cocky though because if you misbehave one too many times, he will lock you away in his house and not let you leave until he believes you have learned your lesson. A permanent abduction doesn't sound appealling to him because he doesn't want to become some sort of caretaker for you as that would just tie him down. He wants you to be independent enough to get through your normal life by yourself yet obedient enough to him to know what you aren't supposed to do.

🐤​Sometimes days go on where you do not see Hibari personally but you never know if he is currently watching you from elsewhere in that moment or not. Truth is that Kyoya actually needs his solitude as well and will leave you by yourself then. If you break any of his rules, he will find out somehow after all but sometimes he just needs some time for himself. Whilst he has been acting on his possessive feelings for the most part, sometimes he gets really strict with you precisely because he has a soft spot for you. In a way one could see this as a way of you having control over him too but to not let you even get the idea that you may use his feelings against him, he is very keen on establishing his own dominance over you. It is this mindset that gives him a tough time being soft around you although he eventually mellows out slowly as years pass by until he even entrusts you with the care of his Hibirds.

Basilicum

🟤​Basil may be a part of the CEDEF but don't even expect for a minute that this means that he is aware enough to know about his own feelings. He is quite a good example of being a delusional Yandere though because despite working for a Secret Intelligence Organisation, he is quite prone to misunderstand things. Yes, he will completely misunderstand it whenever he catches you looking at him or whenever you are just simply polite and helpful around him. Apparently politness from your side is seen as signs of attraction for him from his side. This can get quite out of hand as he slowly starts reciprocate your gestures in the way he thought they were meant. He also starts helping you in your daily life and he even buys you small gifts every once in a while which he gives you whilst a blush is on his face.

🟤​He is quite shy though because whilst he is talented in many things and is the apprentice of Iemitsu, he has never been trained how to court someone and how to confess to the person he loves. This does cause him to feel awfully hesitant and insecure at times because he is constantly worrying that he does something wrong and tends to dramatise gestures and behavior from your side to the point where he believes that he has done something terrible to offend you. Whilst Basil is quite gullible and for that fairly easy to manipulate the tables can turn quite a lot when he gets desperate and looks like he is genuinely about to cry. He's on his knees and begging you then to forgive him because he doesn't know how he could continue living happily if he wouldn't have you in his life. If you think that this outburst is only going to last for a little while, you couldn't be more wrong. Are you really heartless enough to let him drown in such eternal misery?

🟤​If you worry that his insecurities might make way to jealousy, don't. He's got you covered already. He has gotten over those feelings by pretty much keeping tabs on all the people around you and spying on them as well as stalking you and noting down who all the people are you have in your life. This might be quite disturbing for you if you were to ever find out but knowing such things is very reassuring for Basil who feels less threatened by having potentially someone else who would be interested in you. If he ever does feel jealous, there is always this black hole that is mainly there because he feels like he doesn't understand them enough so he intensifies his research until he digs very deep into their life just to fill that empty hole in his heart. If he knows them after all, he can prepare himself accordingly and that helps him to feel at ease.

🟤​As a member of the CEDEF, despite his innocent looks Basil actually holds a lot more power and possesses much more skill than the average person could ever hope to have. As such he would be in theory quite dangerous but luckily he is on the kinder and polite spectrum. He may know at one point everything about you as well as all your family members, friends and acquaintances but that is just how he works as he feels uneasy if he doesn't know everything. His obsession really won't let him rest when it comes to this. This automatically means though that he can use his position as a member of the organisation to dig up some secrets that shouldn't be known if he should ever classify someone as a threat to you. There is no real use for violence for Basil unless it is a last resort because he can just blackmail someone with the information he has obtained about them.

🟤​He would be lying if he would claim that he has never imagined living with you before. In fact he starts fantasising about it quite a lot the more time you spend together with him and the more he finds out about you. He has his hopes even up that those dreams won't be dreams anymore as soon as the both of you are old enough because he tends to see things with rose-tinted glasses. There is no real threat for Basil to kidnap you though, at least for the most part. He may start shedding tears the moment he asks you if you want to move in with him and you reject him, he may beg you to change your mind but he won't do much else. You do think you see him at night standing in front of your house at times though. Basil can be quite efficient though with the load of stuff he knows about you as well as your family and friends which can be used as a very lethal way to blackmail you into doing as he says. Let's just hope that it doesn't get that far.

🟤​His extremely obsessive tendencies imply that he also knows all about your secrets and fears that only very few people may know but at least he seems to possess enough common sense to understand that he shouldn't let you know about the knowledge he possesses about you. At times he may slip up though by accidentally mentioning something to you that he shouldn't know about you but he is smart enough to always cover his mistakes up. Basil definitely uses the huge amount of information he holds in his hands to charm you as well as all the people who are important to him in hopes that they will like him. It is quite important to him that all the people you love will like him so he would be quite distraught if one of them wouldn't think much of him or even go as far as thinking that he isn't suited to be your partner.

Dino

🐎​Dino is just smooth. He is tall, he is handsome and he is quite skilled with his words as well, sure to flatter all the women around him, Dino has set his eyes on you though so he only cares about how his charm will affect you. Dino is actually quite lucid about the entire situation and he won't lie, he has spent some nights thinking about how he should feel bad about it. After all he is a very caring individual to everyone who works for him and who means something to him. Despite the hint of guilt that he manages to experience at times though, for the most part there is just a dwelling possessive feeling that demands him to claim you as his. He is careful with the way he approaches you though as he keeps his identity as well as the true extend of his feelings a secret. Even as a mafia boss, he chooses the honest route of courting you for the most part and he is actually quite confident in his ability to pull it off.

🐎​Nevertheless though, a sprinkle of manipulation here and there will still be used to just stir you in the right direction. His mature and calm exterior combined with his good looks and his smooth words can make a quite lethal combination after all and he even learns to use his occasional clumsiness to make himself appear even more endearing in your eyes. He only uses subtle manipulation for the most part though as he still wants you to choose him out of your won free will. Quite protective of those who mean something to him, this naturally starts applying to you as well to the point where his skills even increase when around you. Whilst his clumsiness then doesn't work anymore, he learns to act like he is sometimes still quite ditzy either to make you smile or de-escalate a possibly tense situation between you two. Whilst he ensures that he never reveals his more intimidating side to you though, he will be much more willing to reveal it to others.

🐎​How blessed you are to have someone like him who is not only skilled and handsome but also so mature and collected. Confidence really can do wonders and Dino showcases that perfectly. He knows that he is physically appealing and since he has gotten so insanely dedicated to you which has led to the disappearance of his clumsiness when he is around you, he is very skilled in most things he does. There aren't many people who can do the same so he can be quite relaxed as he lets you spend your time with other people. Even if there should be someone who tries their luck with you, he just watches with an amused look on his face. He doesn't even have to say anything as most lose their courage the moment he steps next to you and just looks at them with that entertained look on his face. He can switch a flip though by becoming more serious when someone is actually more than just talk. He respects that but that doesn't mean that they can just think about trying to court you.

🐎​He is not going to take it lightly the moment someone threatens his darling. Dino is very protective because he is a mafia boss who has been in this business for quite some time now. He knows how dangerous it can get in his world and that you wouldn't last long if you were to get ever involved. He is vicious to guarantee that no one can ever get that close to you simply to protect your unawareness of what he really does. Perhaps it also the fear of what you might do if you were to ever figure out that he is the head of his own mafia family. It is going to be difficult to touch even your hair in any harmful way though because not only is his organisation very big but his subordinates are also extremely loyal to him. Then there is of course also Dino who is a force that has to be acknowledged because Reborn has trained him truly well as he murders anyone who poses a serious threat without any hesitation. You must never know about all of this though.

🐎​He is definitely going to ask you to move in with him after a while of being a couple. If you reject him, that is fine. He understands that it may be still a bit too sudden and then he just waits for a while until he repeats his question to you. If it would be someone else than Dino, you could get in trouble but to your huge luck Dino is as composed as he is. There is a limit to this all though and that will be when he decides to propose to you within only two years of being a pair. That is your last chance to accept him on your own free will because after that Dino will get involved otherwise to give you the needed push to accept his offer. Even if he attempts to not be too horrible in the course he chooses to take, what he does cannot be excused as he gives you some financial troubles or sees it through that some essential things like your car or your keys get stolen.

🐎​Your life is going to be quite an easy one as long as things between Dino and you go smoothly. You will be pampered and spoiled by him a lot as a sort of excuse for his absence whenever he has to fulfill his role as the mafia boss. Lavish clothes, delicious food and expensive trips around the world all become part of your life and technically everything could go smoothly. Unfortunately Dino has never really told you what he really does for a living so the essential break might happen if you find it out in a most unfortunate moment and react horribly to the reveal. Because at this point in your life, you won't go anywhere anymore. He hasn't married you for you to leave him just because you found out who he really is. He feels sorry and believe him, he understands. He didn't desire to be the boss of the Cavallone Famiglia until Reborn trained him either.

Squalo

◻️​Whether Squalo really has any understanding for his obsession or not is not really of importance, although I like to imagine that as a second-in-command he is smart enough to recognise it. Even if he knows about it though, it does not matter in the least bit to him as he just takes it as it is with no signs of guilt or mercy which spells trouble for you, my dear. Squalo has an awfully huge ego and is very possessive to top it all as he takes pride in his strength and his skill. There is no such thing as courting you or trying to win your heart over as this is way too time-consuming and too much work for this man and since he is as powerful as he is, the easiest way is just forcing you into everything by abusing his influence and his power. You are just his one day suddenly and from that day on he makes sure through often radical ways that you learn to understand this by adjusting your social activities and your closeness to others.

◻️​Squalo has no troubles simply blackmailing you into doing as he tells you to do and isn't even shying away from threatening those around you to make everything even more efficient. His overly possessive antics definitely lead you into an isolating condition where you are partially stuck because you are too scared of him and are partially stuck because you are too scared of what he may do to other people if you would break his rules. You are constantly put under stress as you are never feeling safe even if he isn't pysically within your proximity. Your unease is not unjustified because even if Squalo has a short temper it is important to consider that despite everything he is still part of the Varia and an extremely talented assassin. It is part of his skill to watch people silently from afar to wait for the right moment so you never know when he might watch you either.

◻️​Squalo is threatening and noisy if he should ever feel jealous because he for sure will let you and the other person know about how he is feeling. You should know better than to engage with someone else, you should know better than to question his possession over you like this but sometimes you just seem to be amazingly stupid. Think about it and consider that this man is very violent and extremely deadly too. He could probably murder someone within only a few seconds, if he is feeling merciful that is. Needless to say, such events never end well for you as he is not only threatening your company but will also violently drag you away from the scene. You cannot say anything unless you dare to add fuel to his flaring temper as he frags you away, his grip on you tight and painful but it's not like he cares. You better pray that he won't search for that bastard later on to quench his anger.

◻️​Squalo is arguably one of the most vicious and violent people you could have in this cast. He is already a trained assassin, he loves fights and he has been described by Dino as a shark that has smelled blood. The only thing you can do is pray when he leaves to hunt someone down. He kills everyone who has gotten on his nerves or triggered him in regards to you. Whether the poor victim he hunts down is someone who would have been an actual threat to your life or is just someone who you seem to be too attached to is of no matter. He experiences a euphoric bloodlust whilst hunting his prey down as he displays a sadistic vein, enjoying the sight of them trembling in fear and begging for their life. Even more twisted is the fact that he tends to take his time when he is feeling especially sadistic, cutting his victims slowly down until they have either succumbed to their injuries or he got bored of them.

◻️​Technically he already exhibits a great influence over your life even whilst you are still living by yourself but as he wants complete submission from your side, you just have to wait for a bit until he finally makes the decision to relocate you somewhere else. He does it as he has always done everything in your life which is using force to have you comply with his demands. The new place you can call your home from that day on is isolated which reduces your social contact significantly and will also be installed with cameras and a security system so that you don't get any stupid ideas if he should be gone on missions. You still receive everything you need to survive and keep the house clean as he doesn't want to be your babysitter and whenever he returns to the place where you are stuck, he sort of expects from you to have taken care of the house in his absence.

◻️​He displays an extremely shitty and arrogant attitude around you where he isn't even scared to draw his sword against you if you should get on his nerves too much. Other members of the Varia definitely know you as he sometimes drags you along to show you off like a trophy, looking and sounding unusually proud as he shows you off and actually getting mad for your sake if someone else from the other assassins should insult you. That is only as long as you behave yourself because Squalo will punish you if you were to embarrass him in front of other members of Varia. He is actually willing to give you compliments if you happen to be exceptionally talented in something he deems as useful as he likes having something he can brag about to the Varia about you. He also expects getting a lot of compliments from you because of the pride he takes in himself. Don't try to insult him though because he will be quick to make you regret it.

Spanner

🔧​Spanner is willing to betray his own side when it helps him to find out more about something he is interested in. Now crank that up a few notches and give him an obsession centered around his darling and you have yourself a prime example of an obsessed man. Spanner is very willing to break private rights and throw away commonly accepted morals if it helps him to find out more about you and whilst he is careful about not to betray the Millefiore, he is willing to lie to them to keep them away from your life as much as possible. Despite those actions he takes, he is actually quite good in deceiving you to see him as someone else. He just presents himself with a laid-back and chill exterior which manages to make you feel at ease around him. What you don't seem to notice for a long time is how he observes you as you let your guard down around him, gauging your every reaction with a keen interest.

🔧​He is an engineer and he is quite talented as well so obviously he is going to abuse the skills he has to spy on you even better. Whether he wires your house when you invite him over or even installs a tracker on your phone to always be able to know your exact location, he is not holding back. He in fact occasionally even causes some devices in your house to malfunction without your knowledge when he is in your house just to have you spend more time with him because he is always the one who offers to repair them for you when you complain to him that they aren't working properly anymore. If he considers his feelings and the actions he has chosen to take so far more carefully, he guesses that his interest in you might be quite unhealthy but somehow he is far too nonchalant to really care. He doesn't have any bad intentions after all and is actually even protecting you so it can't be that bad.

🔧​With the way he is installing the listening devices and at one point even tiny cameras in your house and tracks you down via your phone, it is safe to assume that he has a very good idea with whom you choose to spend your time with when either he or you don't have a chance to see each other. He thinks it is better that way because by being able to hack your phone or other technical devices, he always knows what is going on between you and others and it saves him from being worked up over nothing. There is very little chance for him to misunderstand the situation as he can constantly spy on you. He handles jealousy fairly composed in comparison to some other members but he is definitely going to have to know more about anyone who triggers such an emotion inside of him. He just likes to be prepared in case he has to interfere before they get any closer to you by being able to blackmail them a bit.

🔧​I'm pretty sure he is just going to invent something instead of killing someone with his own hands. It's not like he is just going after everyone's threat because he actually enjoys his peace and wouldn't want too much trouble in his life. Sometimes Spanner knows that he has to do something before something happens, especially if your own life is in any danger. Then he has of course also the option of asking Shoichi for help if your life should be in potential danger and he does use the influence of his friend at times. Other times he feels like he should be the one to make sure that your life is protected though because he is the one obsessed with you and then he just builds something to assist him in his task to protect you. He is uncomfortable with killing someone personally but this seems to be a different matter if he kills someone with one of his inventions and just watches from the sideline or from behind a monitor.

🔧​With the data he collects on you as time passes by, he has technically quite a bit he could use against you if he were to ever feel like forcing you. For some reason Spanner instead likes to savor the time he has with you right now as it is. The time where you don't know that he has cameras and listening devices in your home, has a tracker installed in your phone and has hacked into your laptop and phone already multiple times. He isn't as optimistic as to believe that it will all stay a secret forever though. After all life can always take an unexpected turn and so he starts thinking ahead how he should react and what he should do the moment you would find out about the people he works for as well as his own creepy behavior he has secretly done without your knowledge. He's sure he would have to restrict you within your life somehow, partially also to protect you from the Millefiore.

🔧​You are going to be given quite a few of his lollipops and depending on what your favorite flavor is, he will adjust his candies accordingly whenever he gifts you some. He will even shape them differently if you would ask him to do so. If we ignore the fact that he always sabotages your electronical advices to his own advantage, Spanner is actually quite helpful as well as useful in your life. He is an expert when it comes to everything electronical and next to fixing your stuff for free whenever he has time, he even builds you some devices to help you in your household. He's normally quite relaxed and just likes to lean back and listen to you instead as he is not a big talker and thinks that whatever you could tell him would be much more interesting over what he could talk about. Well, not like he can really talk about some of the activities he does in his daily life to you anyways unless he wants to scare you away by revealing that he has been spying on you.

Doctor Shamal

🩺​´Shamal is a simp who is down bad for his darling and their gender doesn't even play a role in this case because will act even worse than he has already done with every other woman he has been trying to flirt with. It is highly likely that his darling thinks of it as nothing serious because Shamal is such a womanizer and has been flirting with a lot of people. You'd think that the doctor would assume so too, especially if his darling is biologically female. However, somehow Shamal has known that he feels differently for you after only meeting you one time. You are different and the fact that he feels something very special when he as much as thinks about you causes him to be quite clingy and obsessive as a reaction. He wants to be with you as much as he can and he will openly creep you out with it as he has no shame to follow you around in public and even wait for you in places he eventually comes to realise you tend to visit often. That or he's just standing in front of your door all of the time.

🩺​In Doctor Shamal's mind though, he doesn't see any of this as scary or creepy. Instead he goes down the delusional path as he is absolutely enraptured with you. He has fallen in love with someone for the first time and he just knows that his feelings for you will always be there and that he will from now on always be genuine when around you. So he makes absolutely no attempt to try to hold his feelings for you back as he showers you in presents and even tries to steal kisses from you even if you do not consent to it. He is downright reckless at times in his attempts to declare his love to you. If you lock the door and refuse to acknowledge how he is knocking on your door, it has happened that he has even climbed up the roof of another house or to your window to see you and to make you see him. As you can see, he really has no chill.

🩺​Struck with the attention-seeker-syndrome that he has, he will never be happy if you ignore him for someone else and you do it quite a lot. That's alright though, he likes how you try to play the tough game with him but he is still quite unhappy if you ignore his presence even if he is standing right next to you. You may hope that you will discourage him by doing so but instead you only fuel his passion as he sees it as a sign that he has to fight for you and prove to you that he is the right man to be your lover so in a way all people you rather spend your time with become his rivals. He is especially competitive against those who are neither family nor close friends of yours as he views them as love rivals. This all seems ridiculous and pathetic until he pulls out his mosquitoes to inflict someone with a harmless, but still severe disease because if they don't appear, you won't be able to ignore him.

🩺​All of his silliness aside you better keep in mind that this is a notrious assassin who was even offered a position in the Varia for his skills. The best and simultanously scariest part is that Shamal doesn't even have to do much to kill someone. He merely has to send one of his mosquitoes after his victim and then has to simply wait until they die from the deadly disease the insect has infected them with. He isn't a crazed doctor though so he at least doesn't let anyone around you drop dead within a day. His main motivation behind it is mainly that he doesn't want to push you into the depths of despair so we can argue about whether he is acting noble or not. He has no such problems if it concerns people who endanger your life or just don't treat you right as he can switch to a more cunning and serious side then. Everyone who doesn't respect you or even dares to hurt you will receive no mercy from him and he will get rid of such people quickly before they can pose a even bigger threat in your life.

🩺​Shamal is totally convinced that you two will live together later on. He has envisioned it all. You two will move in together, he will propose to you and then both of you will get married and be the sappiest and most lovely couple that people will have ever seen. You may not share those fantasies and dreams of his but it is not like you will ruin them for him anyways. There is going to be no competition to consider besides him anyways because all of them are battling with some tough diseases and as soon as they seem to recover, they are struck with the next illness. You see, you won't have any other choice besides him. That's alright though because he is the only one who can truly love and worship you as you deserve to be treated.

🩺​There is a potential where he could simply use his mosquitoes against you and weaken you to force you to rely on him but that is a more unlikely scenario. As indecent as he can be towards you at times, he genuinely doesn't intend any harm to come your way. Whilst he will openly admit that he enjoys it whenever you do come down with something and need his medical assistance to get better, he would never infect you with something. He can use the illnesses of others around you though to boost his image as he will offer you his assistance for free only to then take advantage of the debt you oew him after, even if he doesn't demand any money from you. You just feel too guilty to deny him some of his requests where he wants you two to spend some time together. He's going to praise you nearly all the time though for everything as your mere existence is wonderful.