#shes young and traumatized and he can't expect her to be like others her age after all she's been through and so he can't treat her liketha

[case-files-and-wine]

thinking abt maya seeing through trucy's facade because she's ALSO been a young traumatised child who grew up wanting to please the adults around her and having to be grateful to be taken in. about her accepting that this is something trucy will continue to do because as a child with no real agency it is the one thing she has to protect herself. and she doesnt try to fix it but instead reassures her as often as she can that love can be unconditional

[iivyeevy]

I've noticed that many people think that Gale is just the Mystra-fanboy that you romance unknowingly but Gale is such a deep character and I will die on that hill defending him till I draw my last breath,

he is the first companion to immediatley defend you after (potentially) getting poisoned by Nettie even though he thinks so little of himself that he considers blowing himself up for Mystra as soon as he finds out that she expects him to do so. Even though he doesn't know anything about you he is instantly ready to protect you not because you could come in handy in the future but just because he thinks that noone deserves this treatment.

He doesn't think highly of himself enough to regard Mystras request as absolutely crazy but if it were you in his shoes, he would definitely try to find another way.

Sure he does seem self-absorbed at times but I think that it is just a facade of a broken man losing everything and thus becoming burned out. He was highly gifted at a young age but just like every burned-out person he too thinks that his self-worth stems from his abilities. Him constantly seeking for more knowledge and power is his cry for help; because without the magic he considers himself a boring person that doesn't deserve anything.

Let's not forget that Mystra has been canonically grooming him since he was a boy; everything you may find annoying about him is just a product of being dependet of Mystra his whole life and being groomed and manipulated into becoming the man Mystra wanted him to be; just for her to disregard him after getting disappointed *once*. Mystra is the abuser of his story that he so despretaly tries to cut off but can't; she is his whole life afterall (literally, since his powers only exist because of her and her weave)

I think it is kind of sad that some people disregard him as the annoying magical-boot-eater of the group even though there is so much to analyze about his personality.

In the end, he too is just a traumatized guy with issues that come from higher powered entities (similarly to every other companion in this game)

~

Now, after my rant I want to share with you these creepily glitched game-screenshots

[sapphic-agent]

Ooh, we're talking about Rei? Alright, here we go!

The Todoroki family arc WAS one of the greater aspects of MHA. Keyword: was. It was great until Horikoshi decides to redeem Endeavor. The same man who practically bought his wife. The same man who neglected his three other children, Fuyumi was parentified, neglected Toya and Natso, Toya had constant breaks of his neglect, made a 5-year-old Shoto THROW UP from training so hard, physically and emotionally abused the shit out of his wife where she was on the verge of a mental breakdown everyday. Like, it's so disgusting, honestly. It's a slap in the fact to all of their trauma. Like Endeavor had YEARS to change, but randomly wants to change??? Like dude gave zero shits that Toya "DIED" via from his mental breakdown of his flames and carried on like nothing fucking happened. Also, I just wanna say people who also villainize Fuyumi can also get a big fuck you. Fuyumi just wanted a normal ass family and pushed all of her feelings in her traditional, sexist household. People react to trauma in different ways. Sure, Fuyumi doesn't always handle things the greatest, but the girl was made to look over her siblings at a young ass age. The problem with redeeming Endeavor is that, there's just somethings you can't say sorry for or fucking atone for. Buying your wife, neglecting all three of your kids, physically abusing your youngest son, physically and emotionally abusing your wife then locking her away from her children for 10 years is just not grounds to redeem someone. I thought MHA was good because Shoto saying fuck you to his dad and not forgiving was so refreshing but then paints Natsuo as the bad guy for not forgiving him, and having Shoto consider forgiving his father within one FUCKING YEAR after YEARS of abuse is just baffling to me. Ik Horikoshi is shit on writing women, but, I want to know what Rei is like outside of her dynamic of being a mom. I wanna know what her true personality is, because her abuse doesn't define her. I wanna also know more about Fuyumi because it's clear to me her parentification even carried over into adult, and even with her teaching elementary kids. Fuyumi also deserves to be pissed off at Endeavor. Shoto, Natsuo, and Dabi have shown them being PISSED at Endeavor, and they have EVERY right to. I just wanna see Fuyumi growing out of her parentification Endeavor clearly put her through.

fuck endeavor and his big toe looking ass People can change, yes. But not abusers who do the most godawful things to their family and don't atone for it. Fuck Endeavor.

Well said, anon👏🏾

I agree that the Todoroki past was a really good aspect of the MHA world before they redeemed Endeavor. It was a great aspect of world-building and it was refreshing seeing a character that wasn't begging for their abusive parent's love or acceptance. Then, 4/5 of his victims decided to rally around him and support him for the mess he created...

Why.

I'm actually really glad you brought up Fuyumi because I agree. She wasn't only neglected, she was parentified. And this wasn't something that happened when Touya died or Rei was committed, via the Touya flashback her parentification started at least around the time Natsu was born. She wants a normal family because it's the only way she knows how to cope with that childhood trauma (yes, parentification is traumatic). Yes, she doesn't go about it in a great way but we need to stop expecting victims to react perfectly. Nastu and Shoto made the choice to play nice to make her happy, she didn't force or demand them to.

Fuyumi, overall, deserves more agency. It would have been great for both her and Rei to be something outside of their trauma and supporting their abuser. They also deserve to be angry.

(I've noticed that Hori doesn't really make women in his story angry. I mean, Mirko sometimes but that's more her gag than anything. They all either cry or when they're being "strong" he just gives them this face 😐 (I'm not exaggerating: Rei, Momo, Inko, Uraraka, etc.) I mean, I don't expect a shonen mamgaka to know how to write feminine rage well, but MHA is just pathetic when it comes to this)

Hori got me fucked up for the way he treats Natsu. He's the only one able to see last the trauma/abuse (probably because he was the most removed from it) to be able to make healthy choices and create boundaries. Yet Hori over here wants to paint him in a negative light for calling out Endeavor repeatedly. It's the same thing with people who criticize Bakugou; they're made out to be in the wrong (Monoma, the pros, the journalists, etc.) even though what they're saying is completely valid.

I would also like to point out that Endeavor only changed once he got what he wanted. Not when his son died because of him. If he was going to really change, don't you think it should have been when his actions resulted in dire consequences?

[fearthhereaper]

the show needs to explore how aegon and aemond being exposed to sexuality and sexually active at such a young age was likely traumatizing for them (something they unfortunately have in common with their elder sister)

tw, cw: sa, rape

yes!!!!

i really hope we see how aemond's rape (because that's what it was plain and simple) affected his own relationship with sex and intimacy. especially since we'll be seeing alys enter the picture as his lover. i hope that they'll be able to explore his views on sex outside of marital duty, and even explore if he has casual sex. as a young prince it's expected of him to be promiscuous in some ways but to me aemond doesn't seem the type. i think it'll be more interesting to make him overcompensate for his own lack of control during his first sexual act with him acting morally superior by not practicing sex outside of marriage (not even realizing that a big part of his lack of desire for it is the trauma he experienced as a child. a trauma that was never resolved)

when it comes to aegon it's clear as day that his experience with sex is so much different than aemond's. he was shown ogling the maids which could've been either just a boy discovering his sexuality or some sign of early hypersexuality. either way i get the feeling that his own early sexual encounters led to him becoming very sexually driven and deviant. which is exactly what makes him clearly not care that he raped a girl because it was just "a bit of fun" (a truly disgusting, inexcusable thing no matter what) not to mention the fact that he's the one who had to enter into a sexual relationship with his sister as a 14(?)yo.

i think that with the news of the actress who played the prostitute who took aemond's virginity coming back we'll definitely see some sort of resolution of that storyline. with aegon i feel like the best we can hope for is for the show to acknowledge his sexual trauma of having to sleep with his sister, but i wouldn't be holding onto too much hope when it comes to humanizing aegon.

(and don't even get me started on rhaenyra and how we're supposed to find her grooming sexually liberating. her being exposed to daemon's advances, from the dubious undertones of their interactions to blatant sexual interest, is nothing more than sexual trauma disguised as her being more free than other female characters. i think her relationship with harwin was fully consensual and, bastardy aside, probably very healthy too. but her groomer will never leave her, she'll always be under his influence because he made his sexual interest something normal and mundane. which is unfortunately why she can't escape him even as an adult, and worse, she doesn't want to because she doesn't know any better in a family that thrives on incest and abusing women for the happiness of their male family members)

[pttucker]

This sort of affectionate behaviour felt uncomfortable to me, like some kind of ill-fitting clothes. Was it okay to be like this? Was it okay to experience moments like this already?

How long had it been since all of my companions were smiling together like this? Maybe, this could be our first time. They were able to smile even though the scenarios hadn't ended yet. They were able to chat away in happiness like that, and share their stories. ⸢And while looking at that spectacle, Kim Dokja suddenly felt lonely for some reason.⸥

"Well, Dokja-ssi, your communication skill has always been a little lacking, so it can't be helped, I guess. You were also like that back when we were working for the company." "…I was?" "You really didn't speak all that much to other people." I became utterly speechless after she mercilessly carpet-bombed me with facts. But then again, after giving it a bit of thought, it made total sense. I grew up without a friend from a young age. I wasn't clued in on how to socialise with other people, and back then, I only thought about how to weasel myself out of the company meal get-together. I figured that, rather than wasting time doing that, I might as well read the 'Ways of Survival' one more time instead.

I wasn't sure what to say to her. It felt as if I'd only sound like an ass just by thanking her or expressing my gratitude. The 'Ways of Survival' never taught me what I should say in moments like this.

Ughhhhh, Dokja not having a single friend and basically teaching himself how to socialize based on how characters interacted in a web novel. With the main character of said web novel being Yoo Joonghyuk so...yeah...

Granted, apparently even Joonghyuk took time to give his companions breaks and hang out with his little sister.

Of course, it's not like Dokja has ever had to pay attention to what anybody else wanted when out and about doing things, nor did he expect anybody else to pay attention to him.

Ughhhhh, the pain. I know it was heavily implied that he had no friends, like ever, on top of being badly bullied and abused and traumatized from killing his own abusive father as a little kid and mentally covering it up to the point that he thought his mother killed him, who then wrote a very popular book claiming she did just that and and and...but I think this is the first time he outright says that he never had any friends?

And it seems to also be heavily implied that the relatives who took Dokja in were perhaps not the greatest considering he apparently didn't learn how to socialize from them either and moved into a hostel at seventeen...

And maybe I'm reading too much into this, but it almost seems to me like Dokja maybe thinks, at least subconsciously, that he has to earn the right to be happy and to have friends to be happy with? Or that he has to get through the bad stuff first before being allowed to finally enjoy life? (And doesn't that say a lot about his own life in the Before?)

He mentions twice that they're happy and smiling before the end of the scenarios, with one of the times literally being him saying, "Was it okay to be like this? Was it okay to experience moments like this already?" And he just feels so alienated and alone at seeing them all do exactly that, meanwhile he's got serious anxiety about all this "affectionate behavior" that can be ripped away at any moment. That he hasn't secured yet.

And maybe that's just it. Maybe he's just worried about having fun when there's still a threat nearby that can swoop down on them at any moment, and that in and of itself says a lot about his mentality and you can see pretty easily how that can tie into aspects of his past.

And that's not even getting into the fact that some part of Dokja probably feels that getting them to the end is kind of what he's there for, it's how he proves his worth and his love for them. He has no "place" at the big found family barbecue.

Ughhhh, someone please just cuddle him. 😭 Who wants to start the Kim Dokja cuddle pile? Kids? Hyunsung?

[primeministerofantarctica]

A3! reading club: act one (chapter 1-6)

(cw: talking about parental neglect and abuse, orientalism, one mention of suicide)

Hey, ten out of twelve isn't bad, all things considered! This very well could have gone down in October. Also, since it's February (March if you wanna be generous), does that mean everyone in Harugumi's slightly younger than their Year One ages now? Ack, timelines are confusing.

Izumi casually talking about how Yukio neglected her and following it up with "well, it was probably because he loved this theater so much!" is. Oh, girl. No wonder she snapped when Sakyo suggested he'd abandoned Mankai, because if he hadn't loved it, then why did she have to go through with that?

I'm not versed enough in Japanese particles but I recognize "daijoubu" and Tsuzuru watching this trainwreck unfold and saying something along the lines of "are you guys, like, okay?" is extremely funny.

Then we get to Sakuya and Masumi's family situations, which. From a meta perspective, it makes sense to want to give your minor protagonists the freedom that having parents limits. That's why the trope of "young protagonist in kid's spec fic media is conveniently an orphan" is so common. (was? I think it's becoming less common now.) The problem lies in the lack of willingness to follow through with the emotional conflict it creates, or resolve said conflict in a satisfying manner. Sure, I'm assuming they weren't starved or physically abused, but being treated like a burden when you're a child is still fucking traumatizing! Basically I think Izumi Sakuya and Masumi should start a union. And I'm glad later chapters go the reasonably more toned-down route of "my parents have a reasonable amount of trust in me to make these kinds of decisions".

Also, can we talk about Sakuya and Masumi, because they're one of my favorite brotps here. The way Sakuya appoints himself as Masumi's surrogate big brother? He's so eager to potentially share a room with him ;-;. (personally I hc that Ms. Sakuma was expecting another child before the accident or whatever killed them, so Sakuya's been a big brother without a younger sibling all this time </3)

Wow, that doesn't sound like a metaphor for anything! You're right, Izumi, why would you go the easy route of taking something prepackaged and guaranteed when a bunch of wildly different spices can create a delicious meal if you know how to utilize them right?

Am I grasping at straws here. Probably.

The little ka-ching sound effect is adorable.

Tsuzuru, I'd think "antagonist" should be near the top of the list...also, there's plenty of plays that have been pulled off with two or three actors. Just put on "night, Mother" or something. (Joking. Don't look up night, Mother if you're sensitive to themes of suicide.)

"Tsuzuru, you picked this troupe because it had a dorm, right? ...Then maybe our best bet is to focus on more people in your shoes."

"People in my shoes? In other words...."

"The homeless?"

I CAN'T ASJHGSKSDSK

he's literally doing the 😔 face i'm on the floor.

HE'S HERE! Funny how Izumi's right about Citron not being a regular tourist right off the bat. He may not be from another troupe, but he's definitely "in character" right now.

Also, oof. Citron's my second fave in Harugumi after Sakuya, but it's glaringly obvious how much of his character is rooted in orientalism. Sure, maybe it's an act, but why is he talking about how "shameful" showing skin is when his top is (conveniently for us) THAT low-cut.

On another note, I know people have pointed out his distaste for pig's feet as evidence for headcanoning him as Muslim, but I haven't seen anyone point out how he calls Veludo Way a "mecca" of theatre. Like yeah, mecca can just mean hub, but...why didn't they just say hub? Words Have Connotations. I'm not saying this coding is good or bad, it's just a neutral observation.

AND HERE'S THIS BASTARD (affectionate)

Oh, Kasumi! (insert pointing reaction pic bc I've run out of photo space.) It's Kasumi, guys! :D

[weirdthoughtsandideas]

Writing advent calendar 2023 Day 3

Prompt: Past

Aka: Childhood rivals cause a mayhem at a christmas party

Read on ao3 or under the cut.

There was a christmas party, and Ludmila wore her prettiest dress.

It was pink, with stars patterned on it, in a silver color. 

At the same christmas party, Camila had insisted on arriving in red overalls and a green and white striped underneath.

She looked like an elf. Which Ludmila was not late with commenting when they spotted each other at the party.

They were eight, and the world had not gotten to them yet.

They were also eight, and had no form of consequential thinking.

"Who invited you to this party?" Ludmila asked. "Wait, you're dressed like an elf, maybe you're a staff member."

"Actually, my dad was invited because he is friends with the owner," Camila explained, "And he said it was ok for me to tag along."

"Camila!" That was Priscila, Ludmila's mom. She put her hands on Ludmila's shoulders, as if she wanted to steer her away from Camila. "What a nice surprise... are your sisters here, too?"

"No, just me and dad. My sisters are too small to come."

"I see... Ludmila, shall we see if there is other kids here at the party for you to socialize with?"

Priscila didn't like Camila. This was because she babysat her and her sisters once, and got traumatized. Camila thought that was fine, because she didn't like Priscila's daughter. She and Ludmila had a rivalry since they were infants. 

Camila decided to see if there was another kid at this party she could talk to as well. She scanned the room. Most kids were either much too young, or they were almost teenagers. Was there anyone else her age?

She then spotted a brunette girl, seemingly around eight, who were standing kind of bored next to what Camila presumed was her father. She decided to cure her boredom by walking up to her.

"Hi! I'm Camila! And you?"

The brunette girl looked at her, seeming to be surprised that she talked to her. Then she gave her a shy smile. "Oh. Hi. I'm Violetta."

"Nice name. What are you doing here? I haven't seen you before."

"My dad is old friends with the owner. We move around a lot, but we are celebrating christmas here in Buenos Aires this year. But after New Years we will move to Italy."

"Italy! Wow! I've never been there and never thought of going there, either!"

Violetta chuckled. "I don't really wanna move. But I don't decide that."

"Well... wanna play?"

Suddenly, Violetta's dad turned around. "Oh, Violetta can't play."

"But I want to!" Violetta protested. She got upset really fast, which made it feel like this was something that had happened before. "Why can't I?"

"I don't want you to play with children I don't know about."

"My name is Camila and I am kind."

"I'm sure you are. Violetta, I want you to stay here with me, it's a big party and I don't want you to get lost."

Camila laughed at this. "Ha! My dad has no idea where I am!"

Violetta's dad stared at her. "Then he must be worried sick. I advice you to go find him. I can help you, if you want."

"No thank you." Camila then leaned into Violetta. "You can sneak away and play with me, later."

"What did she whisper to you, Violetta?" her dad immediately asked.

Violetta smiled awkwardly. "She just told me my dress was pretty. Nothing else."

Camila nodded and walked backwards away.

Ludmila was bored, so she decided to go to the upstairs balcony and looked down at all the people. She took a sip of the "christmas mix" her mother poured up for her (which was just strawberry juice) and felt like a queen looking down at her peasants. 

"You look dumb."

It was Camila. She had suddenly appeared besides Ludmila, having a cup with drink of her own.

"Don't you have better things to do?" Ludmila asked.

"Nope. I'm bored."

They were silent for a moment. Then suddenly, Camila formed a mischievous face.

"Guess what."

"What?" Ludmila muttered, picturing something stupid to come out of Camila's mouth.

"There's alcohol in my drink."

"Ha ha. You expect me to believe that?"

"It's true. They have beer on a table. I took a can and poured it in my cup."

Ludmila scanned the room below them. Indeed, in a corner, there was cans of beer. 

"I still don't believe you."

"Smell it."

Ludmila looked into Camila's cup. It was a brown-yellow color. She smelt it.

Indeed, it smelled like alcohol. 

"I'm gonna drink it," Camila said.

Ludmila didn't believe she would drink it, so she just scoffed in response.

"I'm serious," Camila assured her, indeed sounding very serious in her tone.

"No, I know you're not."

Camila moved the cup closer to her mouth.

"You're not actually..."

Her lips were almost touching the tip of the cup.

"Very funny, you're not gonna do it."

That's when Camila started to drink it. Or, she chugged it.

At the same time, Ludmila's eyes widened in panic. "Camila, no!"

She pushed the cup out of her hand. At the same time, she dropped her own cup of strawberry juice down the upstairs balcony. It landed on an unsuspecting guest, who immediately screamed.

Ludmila and Camila gave each other and quick glance, and then ran further into the upstairs corridor, where walls were blocking anyone from seeing them. 

There was another staircase leading back downstairs. They took it, and it led them down into the kitchen. No one was there at the moment. However, they soon noticed something. A giant white and red cake.

"Ooh!" Camila exclaimed.

"That looks so delicious..." Ludmila said. "When do you think they'll serve it?"

"I don't know. Why not eat it right now?"

"Let's have a little piece."

The two girls dragged their fingers across the frosting and tasted it. 

"Mmmm!" they exclaimed in unison.

"Ok, let's get some plates..." Ludmila said.

Camila, however, grabbed a giant piece with her hand. "What? It was on the side, they won't notice it anyway."

Ludmila shrugged and also took a piece with her hand. However, she felt disgusted with herself. She hated whenever her hands were sticky.

So, as soon as she ate it up, she rushed towards the nearest bathroom to wash her hands. Camila followed her, as she didn't want to be alone in the room. Also, she was aware of Ludmila's dislike of stickyness, and thus put her cake-covered hand on her dress.

"What did you do?!" Ludmila yelled.

"Just a prank."

"Ugh!" Ludmila threw some tap water on her. Camila barely reacted to getting water on her.

"Hey, hey... just wipe it off with a towel."

Ludmila grabbed a towel, and tried her hardest to get it off. "Aah! My pretty dress! All ruined! Because of you!"

"You're so sensitive."

"Augh!"

Ludmila jumped on her. The two had a wrestle-fight, pulling each other's hair, and trying to bite each other. They moved out from the bathroom out to the common room, where everyone else was. 

"Hey, what's going on?" Camila's dad asked, noticing them immediately.

At the same time, Ludmila pushed Camila to the table where the christmas mix punch was, making it fall towards the ground. All the guests around gasped.

And then, someone came out from the kitchen. "Who has eaten of the cake?! It was supposed to be saved for later!"

Everyone looked at Camila and Ludmila, who were covered in water and cake.

"Was it you who threw juice at me?" the person who got juice on them before asked.

The girls didn't know what to reply. They looked at each other briefly, before Camila pointed at Ludmila.

"She did it! Ludmila threw the juice!"

"Camila drank alcohol!"

"Ludmila ate the cake!"

"So did Camila! And she threw cake at my dress!"

"Ludmila threw water at me!"

"Camila pulled my hair!"

"Ludmila almost bit me!"

"Stop!" Priscila screamed. "Ludmila, you have embarrassed me for the last time! I thought you were old enough to behave at this party!"

"I didn't know Camila was here," Ludmila argued.

"I'm very disappointed with you, Camila," Camila's dad said. "Can't you play nice?"

Camila glanced at Violetta, who was still with her dad. "You know, I would have played nice if that man let me play with his daughter instead! Then I didn't have to go bother Ludmila!"

"Yes, she should have played with her, instead," Ludmila agreed.

Violetta's dad frowned at the sudden accusation thrown at him.

"See, they were having so much fun!" Violetta said, "Dad, why don't you ever let me do anything fun?"

"Let's go," Camila's dad and Priscila said to their respective daughters. 

"Sorry, mom," Ludmila mumbled.

"I think you'd be much happier if that Camila girl stopped talking to you, dear."

"Sorry, dad," Camila mumbled.

"Eh, it's alright... honestly, I think this night would have ended worse if we brought the twins."

Camila chuckled, "That's true."

Every time Camila's dad and Priscila were invited to a party in the future, they were asked to not bring their daughters.

Camila and Ludmila decided to agree on blaming everything that happened that night on Violetta's dad. And honestly, once they found out of the things he did 10 years later, they agreed even more on blaming him for this night.

[godmybackhurts]

Ok I am going to go a bit insane about my guy Estrin from 8 Bits. Also if I have any other insane thoughts about him I'll put them in a reblog.

He's so traumatized. He joined the military at 17, scarcely knew a world where humanity wasn't at war with aliens, and became an ODST, a job with a very short life expectancy. He was fully expecting to die by age 30. He was born in 2517, meaning he was 8 years old when the Great War started. He joined the UNSCMC only 9 years later. He was young. And in 8 Bits, he's only 35, but has spent just over half of his life in the military, most of that as an ODST. He's afraid of shooting other humans. Not because if "what kind of monster will I become" reasons, but because there's so few left as compared to when he was a kid. Humans are comparatively rare now, and that frightens him. He doesn't want to contribute to the extinction of his own species. And he's afraid of admitting that he's scared. Not because he's too manly, but because he's a leader, and leaders need to be strong. And being afraid will show your subordinates that something is Really Bad, which lowers morale. So he has no choice but to bottle it up and pretend everything is fine. Even if it's not. Especially if it's not.

And he's tired. Tired of war, tired of fighting, tired of listening to two idiots bicker like children while stuck in a box canyon in the loneliest place in the galaxy. And if he's being perfectly honest, he kind of wants to die. Not in a suicidal way, but in an "if I don't wake up in the morning that is NOT my problem" kind of way. He just wants to be able to eat breakfast without having to scream at someone, or without someone screaming at him, or having to grab his gun. But he can't. Because he failed one too many psych evals after the major trauma of his entire squad being either killed or paralyzed. So he got sold to Project Freelancer like a dog that the UNSC didn't want anymore, and put in a canyon where only two people had enough braincells to rub together. And that other person is on the opposite side. He shoots at her, ducks behind cover, she shoots at him, etc etc. That's how his life is. Could he change it? Yes. But he's too tired to change it. Is it actively making him even more tired? Yes. It's a viscious cycle, one he'll only escape via discharge or death. But he can't die. Because as much as they hate to admit it to even themselves, he and Smithson are in love. And he'll be damned if he leaves her to deal with the perverts under his command, and she'll be damned if she does the same. Locking them into even more of a stalemate. So until he can get a good replacement, he can't leave the canyon. And he's not doing that until she gets one too.

Alright I'm done being insane for now bye

[watchyourdigits]

Falloutober Day Six

Monument

SIBLING FLUFF! This day serves as another look back into Frankie's past, to when he was little. We get a snippet of his relationship with his three older sisters. More specifically, his relationship with Elizabeth, who basically ends up raising the three others after they move to Texas following their mother's passing ~4 years prior. Lots of ranches in the West Texas/Panhandle region were bought up by oil companies in the '50s and Frankie's father isn't too pleased about the whole thing. Frankie is very young and doesn't understand his father is (mostly) speaking metaphorically and ends up a bit traumatized. Next prompts will actually be post-War this time lol Ages: Elizabeth (16), Jane (13), Mary (9.5 - the half is very important!), and Frankie (just turned 6) Word Count: 1.4k Warnings: alcoholism, corporal punishment, childhood neglect, religious themes

"What's that they're doin' over there, Pa?"

The sun had risen high in the August sky. A halo of light shone around his father's head. Frankie had to squint up at him where he sat on the porch in his favorite rocking chair, staring angrily at the horizon.

"Settin' up more of them oil rigs."

His voice bore the tone he took when he was angry about something or other. Frankie watched as his father picked up an empty beer bottle and brought it to his lips. He spit a thick, brown liquid into it with a sound that made Frankie's face scrunch up in disgust.

Frankie turned his attention to where his father was looking. The men on the rigs were mere specks compared to the looming metal infrastructure surrounding them.

"What's an oil rig 'n why're they buildin' so many of 'em?"

"All you gotta know 'bout 'em is that they're monuments of greed, built up by the kind of man that don't believe in leavin' God's creations alone."

"They worship the Devil?"

"Yeup."

"Who let 'em do that?" Frankie asked, appalled.

"'Member that old feller who up and died a year or two back?"

"No."

"Well, his kids was s'posed to take care of the place. They sold it to some company and now they're doin' this nonsense," he said, gesturing off into the distance with his bottle before spitting into it again.

"Why'd they go 'nd sell it, Pa?"

He grumbled something under his breath.

"You're askin' too many goddamn questions, boy. Get me another beer then go play with your sister's inside."

"But I don't wanna play inside - all they do is mess with their dolls! I wanna play cowboys and Injuns with Wyatt, Buck, 'nd them."

"Do I have to whoop you like last week?"

Frankie's eyes widened as his father leaned down to glare at him. Swallowing hard, he shook his head furiously.

He still had bruises on his bottom from where his father's belt had welted the skin there. It had been his eldest sister, Elizabeth, who had snagged some ointment for him from the school nurse's office.

Frankie scurried off without another word, moving as quickly as possible to grab his father another beer from the fridge. He brought it out to him in silence. His father grunted as he took it, not looking down at him.

Frankie sulked his way back into the house. His sisters were in the living room, as expected. Elizabeth, his eldest sister, was sitting on the couch. She was listening to a radio show while she carefully stitched away at something in her lap.

"I can't believe you ripped my Raggedy Ann doll," Jane said, accosting the youngest of the three, Mary. "Are you slow or somethin'?"

Mary shook her head, tears welled up in her eyes.

"I ain't slow! 'Nd I said I was sorry!"

"Knock it off, you two," Elizabeth said sharply. "I'm fixing it right now, just gimme a minute."

Frankie passed the two girls on the floor and pulled himself onto the couch beside Elizabeth. He watched quietly as she stitched away, but he grew restless.

"Hey, Lizzie? How do you make it so the string don't come out when you're done?"

"Doesn't come out," she corrected. "All you gotta do is tie a knot. See, watch."

Frankie paid close attention as Elizabeth tied off the end of the thread. She brought the whole thing up to her mouth and used her teeth to rip off the excess. She showed Frankie the finished product and he ran his finger over the stitches.

"Good as new?" he asked, looking up at her.

She smiled and nodded, bringing a hand up to ruffle his hair.

"Yup. Good as new. Here, Jane," she said, tossing the doll to her.

Jane examined her handiwork and gave an approving nod.

"Thanks, Liz."

"Any time. Now quit bein' so mean to poor Mary."

"Yeah! Quit bein' mean to poor me!" Mary parroted, sticking her tongue out at Jane.

"What're you doin' today, Frankie?" Elizabeth asked, taking to ignoring her sisters as they continued bickering.

"Nothin'," he said with a sigh. Elizabeth gave him a knowing look, so he continued, "Told Pa I wanted to see Wyatt and Buck, but he said for me tuh go inside and play with y'all instead."

Elizabeth rolled her eyes and then leaned down to whisper in Frankie's ear.

"Don't tell them I said this, but Pa's been a real ass lately, even to me. It's 'cause of all that booze he's drinkin'."

Frankie giggled as her breath tickled his ear. He pushed her off playfully.

"Maybe we play cowboys and Injuns instead?" he asked, eyes lighting up.

Elizabeth shrugged, a smirk gracing her lips.

"Don't see why not."

"I wanna be a cowboy," Jane announced, having overheard their conversation.

"No, me 'nd Frankie are the cowboys," Elizabeth said firmly. "You 'nd Mary are the Injuns."

"That ain't fair and you know it!" Mary protested, crossing her arms in a huff.

"Try bein' born first next time, then we'll talk."

The rest of the afternoon went by in a blur, with Frankie and his sisters switching off between various games as they found ways to entertain themselves. At some point, their father stumbled in from the porch and demanded they clean up, ending the fun.

Later, Jane heated up some leftover chicken for them and they ate dinner together while their father slept on the couch in the living room.

"Who wants to say Grace?" Elizabeth asked.

"I do!" Frankie said, raising his arm high above his head.

No one disputed his claim, so they clasped hands and bowed their heads.

"Thank you God and Jesus for the food you have given us. Thank you for keeping us safe. Please keep blessing us and our food like you do every day. And please make those Devils next door go away forever. Amen."

"Amen," the girls said in unison, dropping their hands.

Later that evening, Frankie couldn't fall asleep, the metal screeching and groaning keeping him awake as the sounds rolled across the flat land between the properties. He got up and put on his slippers, creeping through the halls to Elizabeth's room.

She was tangled in her sheets, dead asleep, a book open beside her on the bed. Frankie tip-toed over to her and pulled her sheets up like she did for him most nights. He grabbed the book and made sure to dog-ear it before placing it on her nightstand. As he tip-toed away, Elizabeth stirred.

"Frankie? What're you doin' up so late?" she said groggily, groaning as she rolled over to block the light streaming in from the hallway.

"Sorry, Lizzie," Frankie whispered back sheepishly, feeling guilty for waking her up. "I couldn't sleep. Those Devil money rigs are keeping me awake."

He watched in the dim light as Elizabeth sighed and scooted over, patting the bed. He wasted no time clambering in beside her, pulling the sheets up to his neck for comfort.

"What is all this about?" she asked, rolling onto her back now so she could turn her head to face her younger brother. "You said all that stuff at dinner…"

"Pa said the oil rigs are made by evil men who aren't scared of God. They use them as monuments to the Devil! Then I keep hearin' the sounds they make… They're like demons hollerin’. What if they-"

"Don't be scared of some dumb machines. They can't hurt you all the way over here."

"But Pa said-"

"Pa don't so much as know what day it is… Speakin' of which, we got mass in the mornin'."

"Yeah, yeah, I know… Pa goin’ with us?"

“Naw, he slept on the couch. His neck’s bound to be hurtin’.”

“Maybe we can ride the tractor to church instead of the truck,” Frankie suggested, wiggling a little in his excitement.

“Sure. I’ll even let you sit on my lap and steer a little if you hush up ‘bout it.”

Frankie nodded firmly and squeezed his eyes shut, trying his best to fall asleep.

A minute or so passed before he realized he'd forgotten something important he'd wanted to say. His eyes shot open in a panic and he poked at Elizabeth’s arm.

"Lizzie… Psst… You awake?"

"Hmm?"

"I forgot to say I love you."

"I love you, too, Frankie. Now please get some sleep, a'ight?"

"Okay. 'Night."

"G'night."

[tenpixelsusie]

sits ddown Talk about insjidejob to me Meow /nf .....:3

i think it's important to remember that while the show isn't the best ever, and while it has problems that should be discussed openly and critically when talking about it, i'm impressed with how it writes victims of abuse quite well. we can see that with reagan and brett that their reactions to their surroundings and the people around them present two results of abuse.

brett, in being neglected, put down, and discarded as a failure in his family, went RIGHT into people pleasing. and the thing is, it's clear that he doesn't realize that the things he experienced through childhood and the majority of his adult life are not normal or healthy, and we see him able to realize this through the episodes, from him realizing his frat brothers were just using him in part 1, to him commenting "yeah, no, i do hear it, it-it's bad.." when alpha beta expresses concern about the treehouse his family built him OUTSIDE of the main property in part 2. his casual dropping of factoids in his traumatic childhood were concerning, and he uses them as jokes many times, because how do you react to that?? (my mutual simplyender pointed this out on discord, i believe)

brett was slowly learning to gain his own backbone and finally stand up for himself near the show's ending, and if the show had continued, we would have seen him be able to heal from the treatment he got from his peers and family and confidently, well, do whatever.

reagan is a different result, with tamiko and rand's expectations and treatment of reagan leading her down a different path. due to much of rand's abuse and manipulation of reagan from a young age, she never was able to experience the normal, healthy childhood that she needed, and thus from skipping elementary school, we see that she was forced to grow up too fast (oof, hits close to home). she started training for cognito since she was 4 or 6 years old (according to rand in the mole hunt episode, i can't remember which it was right now), and due to rand, didn't get to remember her experiences with her one and only friend, so she grew up assuming that she had no friends at all. she absorbed many traits from her father, like prioritizing work over herself (to the point that she developed unhealthy habits like constantly relying on caffeine and prescriptions to keep herself awake), anger issues, and the classic using inventions to solve problems that had easier solutions.

rand was neglectful of reagan too, using bear-o in place of tending to her emotional needs, which caused reagan to develop trauma to touch because bear-o terrified her so much. poor reagan isn't used to genuine affection, to the point she's actively stunned when ron cups her face and kisses her in the appleton episode...

both reagan and brett mesh together into one giant ball of panic and bad coping mechanisms but... they care a lot for each other. their meeting was good for the both of them, and it seems as well that they help each other heal from these grievances.

brett was the first person since orrin that reagan felt comfortable hugging. he had that much effect on her life and... it's sad to see that we won't see more of them helping eachother take those stepping stones to heal.

[astramthetaprime]

Rock And A hard Place, or The Squishy Middle

So on Monday my mother was taken to the hospital. The nursing home staff couldn't get her to wake up but she was still breathing.

She's been there ever since, with virtually no change. Still hasn't responded to any stimuli. I'm told that normally when folks are on ventilators they sedate the person so they're not hurting or freaked out by having a tube down their throat. She's been off the sedation since yesterday but there's no sign of distress or waking up. And they can't figure out why.

It appears to be a confluence of things. No single thing would be the cause of this but taken together ... well.

It's not unexpected. To be honest I've been expecting to get The Call since the stroke happened. But it seems we are in the true endgame now.

And matters among the living are descending into chaos.

I do not make the decisions here. And yet, because my stepfather refuses to answer the phone, the hospital is calling me wanting decisions. But legally, I cannot make those decisions.

I can't make these decisions. Yet I am being forced to because they need to be made and my stepfather is not answering the phone. Not even for the doctors taking care of his wife during her end of life.

See, my stepfather and I don't get along. Hell, he doesn't get along with any of my family. I made it clear when he and my mother started dating (God help me, 40 years ago!) that I was done being traumatized by her so-called boyfriends and I wanted no part of it. So from the age of 14, my mother and I resided in the same house but we effectively lived separate lives. She spent every weekend with him, I spent those weekends home alone watching Dr. Who and playing my music loud and reading comic books. I enjoyed myself, was responsible for myself, entertained myself and Mom lived her life as she saw fit. By today's standards I'm sure it would be considered child neglect. Hell, when I was twelve we had a vacation in Washington DC where Mom dropped me off at the Air & Space Museum every day for a week, gave me twenty bucks for food, and left me there alone while she went off to other museums. I didn't need her then, I wasn't interested in what she did or with who, I didn't care.

I still don't.

In point of fact, I'm on the verge of hating this idiot. Because when the time comes to scrape his saggy ass off the floor, man up and take the responsibility, to figure his own shit out and take care of my mother in her last days, he refuses to answer his phone and dumps it all on me. He will take any opportunity to force me to listen to his whining and bitching about how he's so lonely when he has dozens of friends. He'll take any opportunity to try to convince me my mother was an alcoholic. I know what alcoholism looks like, and enjoying one glass of wine each night after dinner is not alcoholism.

There's a lot of questions about my mom's mental state even before all this happened, but alcoholism? Ain't one of them.

I will do what I must to keep my mom out of pain, yes. If I have to make these decisions, if I have to be the one to make the last decision, then so be it. Part of compassion is knowing when to let go. I get that. I've looked death in the eyes before, when I was too young to be expected to make the decision and too old not to realize what I saw in my Daddy's eyes. I'll make that decision. But I'll be damned if I get sued for it or threatened with criminal charges because the guy who had the actual authority suddenly realizes after the fact that I stepped over a line. I've got evidence, I've got documentation, I've got eyewitnesses that could not contact him for critical questions.

And nobody better say boo to me afterward because I expect to be left the hell alone. I think some peace and quiet and solitude to mourn my mother would not be too much to ask.

[walks-the-ages]

Okay so ANYWAYS.

Quantum Leap.

My "this was meant to be a funny shit post but now I'm taking it super seriously" prompt has officially been incorporated into my little daydream Quantum Leap AU+Rewrite+Post Canon Universe.

it's sometime after my rewrite of the whole mess that is Last Dance Before An Execution (through) Shock Theater. (LDBAE-ST)

4x01 just straight up goes off the rails because none of that made sense except for the parts I'm keeping for Future Sam to deal with.

Anyways. During the New Events that happen to replace The Leap Back, Sam starts having very strange dreams and hearing [more] voices-- and the calls not coming from inside the house either, he already checked with the others!

Nope. Instead, he suddenly has spirits communicating with him in his dreams, showing up every night throughout the Leap, trying to ask him something but he can never quite make out what they're saying.

His lack of proof (or actual, meaningful communication) leaves Al skeptical of his claims and tells him they just need to get more sleep in this Leap while they can still can.

The Leap continues in whatever plot I decide at the eventual-maybe time of writing, and it's not until the very end of the Leap, when Sam has been knocked unconscious by the antagonist, that he's able to fully understand the spirits who are reaching out to him.

Al in the outside world is frantically trying to wake Sam up so he can go like, rescue a man who's been cartoonishly tied to some train tracks or something, idk.

Anyways, Sam wakes up, saves the guy, fixes what went wrong, and Leaps.

Weeks go by, as they always do before Ziggy can locate Sam's temporal signature again.

But weeks turn into months.

And suddenly, it's New Years Eve at Project Quantum Leap, only no one feels like celebrating, because Sam is still missing in between Leaps. This is the longest he's ever been "in between" and everyone is starting to get worried.

Then, right as the clock strikes midnight, Ziggy sends out an alert--

She's found Dr. Sam Beckett.

Except his brain wave and vital signs are off the charts, and something is messing with her system and "Admiral, we need you in the Imaging Chamber NOW! We don't know what's happening to Sam but you're the only one who can tell us what's wrong!."

Al, of course, is already sprinting down the corridors to the Imaging Chamber, more than halfway there.

Al bursts into the Imaging Chamber and the new Leap materializes around him as the Chamber powers up and sprawled on a carpeted floor of a bedroom is a young woman, blankets tangled around her legs, pajama suit rumpled, and sobbing.

After the traumatic shit show that was LDBAE-ST, Al has had to take multiple sessions with Dr. Verbena Beeks himself to deal with the fallout of what *Sam* has gone through, (not to mention dealing with the shell shock from the war), so Al is fairly confident he'll be able to help guide his friend through whatever kind of panic or anxiety attack they're having and help them calm down , and usually seeing that Al is there at all is some kind of comfort so he circles around and starts reassuring them he's here --

Only to not get the reaction he was expecting.

"Syl? Sylvi? Veon! Syl vee, vee, veon!" The woman on the floor exclaims and tries to hug him, then looks embarrassed when that fails to work "Vee, sylvi, veon, Syl. Vee Sylve, onn vee Sylvi."

Al just stares, because clearly, this is Sam. But for the life of him, Al can't understand a word coming out of their mouth.

Sam tilts their head in confusion at Al's flabbergasted look, "Sylveon?" They finally enquire.

.

.

[aka Sam Leaps into Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Red Rescue Team / Rescue Team DX and lives out not only the entire main storyline but also all of the post game content until he finally passed of old age with his Partner at his side and only then did he Leap back into canon

but he spent more than a human lifetime there and doesn't realize he's speaking Pokespeak lolol.

Don't worry! It's fine! He still knows English he just has to jog his memory of how to speak it.

Oh, and how to walk on two legs again lol.

Also becoming a Pokemon is what unlocks his ability to Leap into earth animals later.

Anyways, Sam is an Eevee in Rescue Team Verse and so is his Partner!

Sam eventually evolves into Sylveon (aka the trans pride Eeveelution)

and his Partner, Eevee, because of Sam's presence in that world, evolves into [REDACTED].

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

You'd also think that they'd be more respectful towards an heir whose parent was just lost tragically, way before they were ever supposed to take up the mantle?? Like sure, maybe you could argue that Palina should have been training him or trying to force him to evolve, but wouldn't that be kind of a violation of her duty in itself? Pushing a traumatized child to train just so you or your clan can feel better is probably not how you want to be treating your like, godly ordained animal protectors. I could see there being some contempt towards her if there was a longer history of her and Arcanine not pushing the Growlithe beforehand, but unless Arcanine was old why would it matter since it's not like they expected him to die or step down soon, and also how would people even know they weren't training him well enough?

I kind of feel like the whole Growlithe thing would make the most sense if it wasn't even really about Palina per se, she's just kind of an easy target because of people being really unsettled by some things within the Clan? First, in unknown order, the replacement warden for Irida's dad either dies or become so hurt they can't work anymore, then the leader dies and they get a very young leader who only gets the position by default, then Arcanine dies and his heir doesn't want to replace him. Plus, if Volo's parents were the highlands wardens, that means that, in order for Ingo to get the position, either Sneasler was wardenless for while or that warden died right around the same time the leader and Arcanine did (my timeline there assuming that Irida didn't make leader long before Ingo fell, with Arcanine dying either a bit before or a bit after she was appointed, and Ingo being assigned as Sneasler's warden within the same year he fell. So like a year and a half, maybe two between the leader dying and Ingo making warden). Lian's predecessor would have also had to die or step down within the last couple of years, given his age, so that's. Not great. That's a lot of death in pretty quick succession, potentially mixed in with Sneasler not taking a warden, and somewhere in all that you have Palina trying to step down to become leader and Growlithe not taking up the mantle.

So then what would be the timeline of her there? Is this like, she started the training while Arcanine was alive, was... in the settlement for training? when Arcanine died, and then withdrew afterward because people were very unhappy with her and she knew that they'd never trust her as a leader (+trauma)? Or is this more of a she did both the training and the dropping out before Arcanine died because people were already unhappy with her (for some reason, possibly just because she trying in the first place since it'd be so unconventional), or she did it all after Arcanine died because they were desperate for candidates and she looking for a way out of being a warden when the others didn't accept her resignation (or something)?

Oh ouch, I was kinda thinking of a situation where the other nobles vote in defense of a noble who isn't willing to say anything against their warden, but man, to have something go so wrong that it completely breaks the trust between the two and a noble votes their own warden off the island? Imagine the trust issues that noble would have after that. Like that's a person you vouched for, that you helped pick, and it turns out that your judge of character was so bad you didn't realize they were despicable until they had already done something horrible.

I honestly can't see the whole process taking more than a couple of months, even with all the leadership workshop classes and probably stuff with like finances, history lessons, and whatnot, but who do you think was in charge in the meantime? I assume that most of the time it's the previous leader who is retiring, but given how no one actually mentions who the previous leader was and Irida doesn't seem to be getting any help from anyone but her wardens, it's probably pretty safe to say they're dead and died before Irida was chosen, and also then she really would be last viable option.

Do you think they even know? I can't see the clans wanting anyone to know that their leader was anything other than a first draft pick, so even if it's something that they could have potentially bonded or commiserated over, they, like you said, likely aren't even allowed to look overly friendly, much less become close enough to let the other in on their insecurities over the way they became leaders. Maybe it's something that could happen post-game, but it'd take a lot of trust to admit something like that if they think that the other person had it easy.

That is so sacrilegious, oh my god. I love it. Although, I feel like that's kind of a weird thing to tell your kid where they were conceived. Oh, oh wait, no, what if they were caught, specifically because they were meeting there and someone, probably a leader, came up and saw them making out or something. And Volo only figured out where he (probably) was conceived when he came to Hisui and heard about it via gossip, maybe even when he was trying to learn more about Irida. After that it's just added to his whole world view of, "I was literally made for this". Damn, dude, damn. Also, that's a little fucked up of them lol, although maybe that's part of the thrill and appeal of doing it there.

But there has to be the ability to first turn catch or catch them while they're unaware, because of how they have different catch rates. If ultra balls really are stronger or better at catching things, then there have to be times where an ultra ball is kinda overkill and you can just snap something up without actually fighting it. To say nothing of master balls. In which case, if it's something that pretty aggressive normally, why wouldn't it just fight you right when you let it out of the ball and how would it calm alphas??

True, though in that case there really shouldn't be parts of the battle where you send in pokemon to help you fight the nobles. If he was leveled the way he was supposed to be, your pokemon would not be able to take Kleavor in any capacity at that point. Which does kinda make you seem like a, "well better the Galaxy Team lose a person trying to fight Kleavor than one of ours" sacrifice (which also fits with Cabala being like, "well they offered to take Ingo, the potential ticking time bomb, why not let them do it, that way if he detonates they're ground zeroes, not us" in OoP). But doesn't Irida go to them for help even before Kamado volunteers the protag for the job? I seem to recall Irida implying that she didn't want to kill Kleavor because Kamado had sent some Security Corps people over to help but they got completely overpowered, and he was pissed about it. I might be totally off with that though.

I mean, hey, Arceus never tells the protag to deal with the impending apocalypse, so if Ingo's willing to fight the nobles why even bother to pay attention to all that? It would be kinda funny if by coincidence the nobles only frenzy as you're moving onto the next area, so you are vaguely aware of it happening as it's progressing, but it's very much a, "damn, that's wild. Anyway, time to get back to filling out my pokedex" type of deal. Well, until the Red Sky happens and Kamado kicks you out anyway, bc they only frenzied when you got to each area and he finds that suspicious as hell, and then you'd have nowhere to go because the clans don't know you and Volo doesn't have any reason to care about you. It'd also kinda suck because you'd be unable to use Sneasler or Basculegion to get to places you'd need to collect everything, but maybe they'd be willing to offer their services for some berries or something.

yeah to be entirely honest the plot point of palina being ostracized for not pushing growlithe reallly doesn't make sense with the already established fact that nobles are revered. you'd expect the heir to be receiving the noble's respect already, since the actual noble is dead, so the fact that the clan is getting judgemental about his decisions is Weird. uuunless this is all due to the very fact that they feel like they can't question any of the nobles—and so palina is just the scapegoat for all their misplaced frustration with the young lord. considering most pearl clan members probably don't see the lord of the coastlands much at all, it would make sense if they didn't really empathize with growlithe as a traumatized pup and just thought he was shirking his duties. but if that's the case then that's also weird because it suggests the wardens are way less respected in their clans than the nobles are! like, is this just a part of the position? taking the fall for the nobles' decisions because you're human and therefore fallible, unlike the blessed pokemon guardians? that doesn't make sense to me either!

yeah, it would actually make the most sense if palina had just sort of snowball-effected her way into being the receptacle for all her clan's fear and frustration. it was never something anyone consciously intended, and there was never any sudden moment where it Happened, it was just a gradual shift—she failed to keep her noble alive, couldn't become the leader her clan so desperately needed, and now she's actively refusing to raise a new lord of firespit island—every little failure adding up, making the clan more likely to judge the next failure more harshly, until finally she's just the go-to Person to Blame for everything that goes wrong. (and if so, that makes the idea that irida functionally abandoned her after the leader struggle all the worse)

i still dunno about the timeline, tbh. maybe there IS a precedent for wardens becoming leader after all, and it wouldn't have been so much her "resigning" the warden position (something that is probably dicey at best with the other wardens and your continued existence in your clan) as just an understood transition into leader. but then lord arcanine died, and she either failed out or withdrew. and calaba wasn't a candidate for... handwavey reasons, i dunno, she wasn't marked in the specific way leaders have to be, couldn't provoke a response from the adamant, or maybe she just outright refused because she feels her place is as a warden and won't consider leaving it. (even though i think she's still kind of the de factor clan leader whenever irida isn't 100% fulfilling the role, which is... regrettably often)

...okay. okay. what if that's what happened with volo's parents and their nobles. i mean, it might have been done in absentia—after they already ran off to go be together in the guild, and both of their former partners were forced to acknowledge what they'd done for their own happiness and disavow them as wardens. because, even if they're not "physically present" "in hisui" "doing their jobs," they're still, like, technically the wardens of the highlands, and so new wardens couldn't be appointed to the position until they were stripped of rank and title. electrode is definitely old enough to have been the one to do that, but i wonder if sneasler would have been noble at that point, or if it was her parent that lost their warden and she's been wardenless her entire life? we have no canon basis for her age iirc so it could really go either way.

yeah, in the vast majority of cases, the leader is probably the one to train their successor for at least most of the training, before they retire and/or die. but these uh, do not seem to be regular circumstances. so maybe irida and others had a little bit of training under the former leader, but it was very brief. regardless, i don't know exactly how much leading the pearl clan really needs, just in like, day-to-day activities, but i feel like it's probably led by a committee of the clan's wardens in the interim. this probably isn't a formalized thing, since it's so rare and the clan's so small, but. during irida's time specifically, i imagine it would have been primarily gaeric and calaba making the calls, with palina and irida sort of... shadowing them as part of their training. i don't imagine lian was appointed at that point, and even if he was he'd be too young to really have anything to offer to the discussion, so it... really would have just been those two. which in itself is probably not normal and a cause for concern—normally there's four, ideally five working together! but now at this point they're down to two functional wardens! and no leader!

oh yeah, given how removed the clans are and how much they fucking hate talking to each other, gossip probably doesn't really circulate like, at all, between them, so irida and adaman might very well have no idea what the circumstances of each others' rise to leadership were. the exception being the wardens, who probably Talk, but also have a mutual understanding that whatever's exchanged doesn't leave their circle. (though, adaman does at least know that irida was very recently appointed, since he points out a few times that she has next to no experience, but honestly that's self-evident just from looking at how young she is)

if they DID get caught, that would be even MORE reason for them to be outcast from the position: they literally desecrated the temple of sinnoh! that thing that probably like, a solid 50% of their job, specifically, is to guard and maintain! ...yeah volo's parents were not Fantastic at their jobs, huh. i feel like there might be something there where they were already questioning what they'd been taught about Almighty Sinnoh, as they got closer to each other and compared notes (and maybe even talked to cogita? she's in the area), which made them take their positions as wardens less seriously, and then volo just like, inherited their complicated feelings about it. either way, though, the "why" of it matters less than how hard they ditched their divine responsibility for each other lol

yeah, i mean anything we say about pokeballs is really just out-of-universe justification for gameplay conceits, right. maybe it's more akin to non-lethally snaring an animal, and the higher tiers are just straight up harder—but not impossible—to break out of. and alphas wear themselves out in a similar way to what they would be doing in a battle, by thrashing against the confines of the ball. or maybe it's like, the sensory deprivation of it that calms them? or, mumblesomething it cuts them off from the tainted connection to the spacetime rift that's maintaining the frenzy. i dunno.

oh yes absolutely "better them than us" is a MASSIVE part of why the Leader Trio (irida/adaman/kamado) makes you fight kleavor. you are literally extremely expendable at that point. and while iirc the security corps does suffer losses at kleavor's uh, axes, kamado actually kind of edges around outright mentioning that when discussing it with the leaders. specifically it's actually adaman who keeps bringing up the casualties and is really pushing the idea of just putting kleavor down, and he's the one who outright asks you to calm the frenzy rather than just studying it. even kamado only agrees to send you to study the lord's frenzy and figure out what's caused it.

kamado's actually very careful with the leaders as a general rule, which makes sense when you consider that this is their land and the jubilife probably only exists because they're allowing it. which, now we're getting off topic, but i feel like the reason the clans let the galaxy team settle in hisui in the first place was because they saw an opportunity for both a neutral third party to mediate their truce, but also because they knew they'd have a strong force in permanent debt to them. calculating? a little. but times are getting desperate.

qhkqjhj yeah, i think for the most part they frenzied all at the same time? but either way. kamado still sends you to study kleavor's frenzy, but by the time you get there ingo's already dealing with it so you just turn around and immediately go home. don't even worry about it, kamado, they have a guy apparently. wyrdeer DOES recognize and respect you before you ever engage kleavor, but then adaman only gives you a flute in order to help you calm kleavor, so yeah, it might be that you don't get nobles in this au. protag never even leaves the fieldlands for the entire game bc they simply are not needed ghsksh

[therealvinelle]

any heretical opinions on buffy???

Yeah, Bangel is terrible.

Angel was turned in his 20's and is several hundred years old by the time we get to the 90's. As Angelus, he is also a serial rapist, something I'm unable to wholly separate from Angel for a variety of reasons.

He first sees a fifteen-year-old Buffy when she is called to becoming a Slayer, and feels a desire to protect her. This leads to him following her to Sunnydale, hoping that he may be able to help this innocent young girl battle the forces of darkness. So far so good, a fatherly dynamic where he wanted to protect this one girl so as to do one good thing in this world is great stuff.

Buffy gets a crush on him, and it is very much a girl's crush. She's doodling his name in her notebooks, excited that she got to wear his jacket, in every way but for the slayer and vampire bit a girl who's got her first big crush on a cool older guy. It was pretty inevitable, Angel is attractive, dark, and mysterious.

Problem is, Angel returned her feelings.

I... can only recommend (or not recommend, because this will skeeve you out) people go rewatch this show, particularly season 1, and try to watch it as adults, think of how you would feel about the developing Bangel dynamic if Buffy was less the protagonist you're supposed to see yourself in, and more your daughter or little sister. Which is my way of saying that Bangel is painful to watch.

Angel returns Buffy's feelings, lets her escalate the relationship, and by season 2 he's in a relationship with a high schooler. Age gaps like that are bad for many reasons, and a specific one that applies strongly to Bangel is that Buffy has unrealistic expectations of their relationship and is, frankly, too young to be in a serious relationship. She wants a boyfriend, and Angel is the only candidate for this when she's the Slayer.

It must be said, too, that they are in love because they're in love. They fancy each other because Buffy is cute and innocent and Angel is dark and mysterious, and because they are both lonely people. It's a love born of circumstance, as they meet at a junction in their lives where the other looks like all they ever wanted. To put it another way, season 5 Buffy would not have given Angel a second look.

Not to mention, their relationship barely had the chance to happen. They get to date, ish, but Angel soon becomes Angelus and when he returns he's a mess in need of her care. Their relationship consists more of pining for the other and dramatic declarations of love than it does actually being together. Very much a teen girl's idea of romance, not so much mine.

Angel then consummates this relationship, which turns into a traumatizing event for Buffy. Did Angel know he would lose his soul, no. Am I glad the universe clapped back at him immediately for having sex with a child, even if I'm sorry for Buffy and all the other people this wound up hurting- frankly, yes, yes I am.

Just, it's framed positively by the show, but Angel committed statutory rape.

Throughout the series after that, even after Angel returns to himself, we see this relationship leave its mark on Buffy. She remains convinced that this relationship is the greatest she ever had, that she will have no truer love so there's no use even trying. She settles for "okay" in her relationship with Riley, she's not in love but he's decent enough, since she can't be with Angel it's all the same anyway. Spike she actually does come to love, but even then loving Angel is so important to her that she continues to refer to him as the love of her life. Something schmomething cookie dough.

Just, Angel messed her up good.

Alas, fandom and even Sarah Michelle Gellar swears by this ship. And I cry.

[fandomregina]

Hey!! I read your analysis posts and they're SO GOOD, can't wait for more. I'm confused about the "generational curse" thing, I'm not sure what it is but something isn't clicking for me lol. Could you please explain what the curse is and how it started with Abuela and repeated in the Madrigal trio + the grandkids? Thanks!!! :)

Hi!! I love getting questions so thank you so much for asking one!!! And thank you so much! Hopefully I can get the rest of the scene out sooner or later, but the GIFs take a while to make so we'll see :)

It's actually generational trauma (or inter generational trauma) I was talking about. The definition from online is

"the concept developed to help explain years of generational challenges within families. It is the transmission (or sending down to younger generations) of the oppressive or traumatic effects of a historical event".

So for Encanto, the trauma is Alma and Pedro loosing their home to the soldiers and Alma loosing Pedro. Not only is Alma uprooted from her home, it's destroyed. Her husband is also taken from her, being murdered right in front of her. Although she gains shelter from the mountains and a magical house because of his sacrifice, that doesn't erase the trauma she has gone through. She also now has to raise a family and lead a village. This is a very large responsibility for someone who has lost their home, husband, has been removed forcibly from their homeland, has to raise 3 children, has to pretty much lead a village, and is having to do it all alone.

Because of this, Alma strives for perfection, has high expectations for her children and for using the magic gifted to them ("[We'll] earn the miracle that somehow found us"..."But work and dedication will keep the miracle burning. And each new generation must keep the miracle burning").

We see this trauma transmissioned onto her children, Julieta, Pepa, and Bruno. And then onto her grandchildren. Here is just a rundown of how the intergenerational trauma effects each Madrigal.

Julieta: She is the healer. I kind of see her having to play the mother role at a very young age because maybe Alma wasn't able to some days or weeks due to depression. She might also be the sibling the other two would come to after a fight with Alma or if they were upset and didn't feel like they could go to Alma (or being the therapist daughter/sister)

Pepa: Her emotions. She feels everything very strongly all the time. She most likely isn't emotionally stable. Alma usually yelled about her clouds or the certain weather above her head.

Bruno: "My gift wasn't helping the family". He couldn't really help the townspeople and his gift was seen as a bad omen of sorts. He was really the blacksheep.

Luisa: Being an eldest daughter and having a lot of responsibility placed on her head (yes I know Isabela is the oldest, but Luisa is also considered an eldest (to Mirabel anyway)). Worthless if not of service and honestly her entire song shows how the generational trauma affects her and honestly I might go into an analysis post on that song alone because it is a lot.

Isabela: The 'golden child'. Always always always having to be perfect. She can't step out of line or have any imperfections. She also seems to be a people pleaser. Going through the arranged proposal with Mariano to please Alma.

Camilo: He can't be himself or being himself isn't always what someone needs him to be. He has to always be changing himself to be what is needed of him to be.

Dolores: The middle/invisible child. She hears everything and everyone. Definitely a people pleaser. I mean, she lets Isabela have Mariano because Alma want him to marry Isabela, not Dolores, so she allows it to happen for the good of the family and doesn't complain.

Antonio: My baby is so young it hurts. But he goes to show you that no matter the age you are, you're still affected by intergenerational trauma. Pepa is a emotional wreck and so her kids cannot express their emotions well because she can't or gets yelled at for it by Alma. So, Antonio, instead of having a connection with his mother, he has it with Mirabel (for example, the walking to the door scene). Antonio is also very anxious about not getting a door because he knows first hand how it might affect him, seeing how it affects Mirabel after she doesn't get one since he lived with her for 5 years. He, along with the other kids, start helping the townspeople at about 5 years old. The pressure on these kids start young, if not from birth.

Mirabel: she sees how the trauma is affecting the family and wants to start the change to help them heal from it (end of the movie)

And as for all of them, they're really only seen throughout the movie as to be used by the townspeople for their gifts (if not by the townspeople themselves, then by Alma). They would do what they're asked no matter the cost really. And the Madrigals didn't get the help they needed until the end of the movie after Casita collapses because the townspeople finally see that they aren't perfect and kinda goes to show it's ok to ask for help. Nobody truly expresses what they feel either until things just collapse.

I think this movie does an amazing job at showing just how intergenerational trauma can affect families and how it's expressed in each generation/child. Also, the short shown before the movie (at least in theaters - called "Far From the Tree") is also an example of intergenerational trauma and how the cycle can be continued or stopped.

If anyone sees anything that may not be right or wants me to add something, let me know!!

[scuttle-buttle]

What's One More?

WC: 3204

Rated: M

Tags: brief mentions of crime/mental illness/child abuse and neglect/substance addiction/theft, fluff, family dynamics, mentions of aging, mentions of difficult pregnancy, softness, anxiety attack

🧠

The harsh vibrating of a phone on the nightstand breaks your slumber. Still half asleep you toss your arm back to thump against your sleeping husband's side. With a groan he answers. You try to settle back into your pillow and the warmth of the blanket. Whoever has the balls to call at this hour has another thing coming - but later because your priority is going back to sleep.

He can't have been on the call more than fifteen seconds before he sits up in bed suddenly, turning on the bedside lamp; his movements grab your attention. You roll over. The light blinds you and you rub at your eyes to adjust. You can't make out what's being said. Looking at the clock to see that it's barely 4 am you know something bad has happened. Quietly you slip out from the covers.

Making your way down the hall you peek into your daughter's room, grateful that she's still fast asleep. Her soft snores punctuate the calm. Your nerves abate knowing she’s safe. By the time you get back to the bedroom Laszlo is up and getting dressed. "What's going on?"

He doesn't answer at first. You wait until he's finished buttoning his shirt to ask again. "Sara was called to consult on a triple homicide case - she's asked for me to come down to the police station. I don't know much yet, but it's something involving a young boy and she wants me to speak with him."

“Did he…?”

“No. He was not directly involved, that much we know.”

You nod, leaning against the door frame. This wasn't the first time that Laszlo had been called in by law enforcement and social services to assist with children and teens that needed psychological help. He had become more active around the time you graduated with your doctorate. After Sophia was born Laszlo helped fund an after school program for kids that focused on support for mental health and behavioral issues. He was so passionate about being able to help these kids. But it was never at this ungodly hour. "You'll call or something when you know what's up?" you ask through a yawn.

"Of course, Bärchen." He gives you a chaste peck. Gently he guides you back towards your bed and sits you down. "Go back to sleep, there's no need to worry. I love you." With that he left.

Your sleep is fitful with him gone. You worry over things that you aren't even aware of, over who is hurt, over how severe a situation it could be to have been called in the middle of the night, over the poor boy that needs Laszlo’s help. When your daughter tiptoes into the room around 6 you welcome her into the bed with open arms.

"Why are you up, baby bug?"

"Where's Papa?" She climbs up on his side of the bed and rubs his cold pillow. On her face is a deep frown.

"He had to go help some very important people early this morning. He'll be back to see you soon, I promise."

"I miss him. He always helps me with my shoes."

You can't help the smile that crosses your face. "I know, baby. But it's still early so let's take a nap before we have to get ready, hmm?" The two of you snuggle under the covers. With her curled into your side you do find rest, even for the short time before your alarm chimes.

The day moves sluggish as you wait for word from your husband. Little work was to be done today at the museum, so there wasn't much to keep your mind off the wondering. You considered calling. You considered texting. But you knew that when the time was right he would let you know. No news is good news, you think.

Finally the day came to a close. You picked up Sophia and stopped by the store on the way home to grab supplies for dinner. She insisted that she carry one of the bags inside - little miss independent that she was. “Careful not to drop it, okay? Use those muscles of yours to hold the bag tight.”

“Mama I know, I help Papa carry all the time,” she explains matter-of-factly.

The townhouse is quiet as you begin to unpack. You do a quick glance into the dining room and parlor to no avail. "Laz, honey? You home?" A few seconds later you hear movement from the stairs.

Your husband rounds the corner into the kitchen, swooping down to scoop your daughter into his left arm, peppering her face in exaggerated smooches. Her giggles light up the room from the dim atmosphere. He perches her on his hip. “How was your day my little dove?”

“So good Papa - I practiced my counting today at school. I can get the biggest in the class! Mommy said I must be the most smartest," she prattles on.

“Wunderbar!” he praises her before turning to you. “I didn't hear you come in." Laszlo kisses you.

Pinning him with a look you say "you also didn't call me today? You said you would and I've been worried all day."

Sophia crosses her arms and harrumphs from her father's hip; "me too Papa." He quirks an eyebrow at her before speaking.

"Yes… there is something I wished to speak with you on but didn't think it was suitable for the phone." You raise your own brows but continue to put away groceries. "I do not wish to discuss certain aspects of the case in present company-" he nods towards Sophia minutely "-but we do have a houseguest for the foreseeable future."

"Oh?" Your brows dip in confusion. This is not what you were expecting.

Laszlo peeks around the doorway and calls out "Stevie, would you come join us in the kitchen please."

Stevie? You don't know a Stevie...

A moment later a lanky boy with scruffy dark blond hair shuffles into the room. He can't be anymore than 15. His clothes are too big on him and his shoes are worn beyond belief; nevertheless he gives you a slight smile. “This is Stevie Taggert, he’s going to be staying here with us in the guest room for now.”

“Good evening Mrs. Kreizler,” the boy says nervously, his voice cracking.

You spare a look at your husband before turning to the teenager with a smile. “Ah, no need for that, kid. You can just call me by my name instead. And welcome to our home. You like spaghetti?”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Awesome! And I’m certainly not old enough to be a ma’am,” you give him a wink. You set up a pot to boil the water for the pasta. Laszlo excused himself to spend some time with Sophia, leaving you and Stevie in the kitchen.

He clears his throat behind you. “Would um… is there anything I can do to help?”

"I would love that, thank you."

The two of you get to work on making dinner. Stevie doesn’t say too much, but he is very polite and does his best to be useful. Once the food is nearly finished your family has returned ready to eat. You send Stevie and Sophia to set the table.

“Should I be worried?” you ask Laszlo quietly, watching the doorway the two left through.

“I don’t think so. I just felt that I would rather he have a familiar face to adjust with instead of being placed in a group home like many end up.”

You study his face. “You’ve taken a liking to him haven’t you?”

“Well…" his face reddens at your question. "He reminds me a bit of myself when I was his age.” The conversation is cut short by the kids returning.

The rest of dinner and the evening goes smoothly. You make it a point to not bring up any questions that could trigger the teenager, especially before you’ve spoken with Laszlo about the situation at hand. When Stevie nearly eats his weight in pasta you say nothing, wondering how long it's been since he's had a good home cooked meal. He insists on helping clean up the dishes afterwards. Without even knowing what the boy has gone through your heart aches for him.

You set him up in the small renovated basement downstairs while Laszlo puts Sophia to bed. Handing him one of your husband’s old Harvard t-shirts to sleep in you tell him “I’m sorry you’ll be down here by yourself, but if you need us for anything don’t be afraid to come get us - no matter what time it is, okay? And if you get cold there’s an extra blanket right here for you. I know it's July but….” you shrug. “Tomorrow after I get home from work we can go to the store and get you some stuff to use, some more clothes, that kinda thing.”

“Yes ma’am.” At the teasing look you give him his ears burn red with his mumbled “right sorry.”

“Alright Stevie. We’ll see you in the morning, sleep well.”

Laszlo is in bed reading when you enter the room. Nothing is said as you ready yourself for bed. Slipping under the covers you face him. He sighs and closes his book.

“I’m sorry I didn’t call. I became caught up in the day and only arrived home with Stevie maybe half an hour before you did.” He sighs a second time. “Most of the case I cannot talk about, but what I can say is he was living with his mentally ill father, whom was also an addict. He missed the last few weeks of the school year and has been regularly stealing food to get by. He has no other family. I just… it didn’t feel right to let him process his experiences away from someone properly trained to deal with these sorts of things, in addition to how traumatic entering foster care at his age can be. I spoke with those in social services and was granted temporary custody until we find another more permanent solution.”

“Of course.”

He takes hold of your hand. “You aren’t upset with me?”

“I mean it would’ve been nice to have a bit more warning… but I get it. He can stay as long as he needs to. He’s a sweet kid,” you reassure him. “I told him that I would take him shopping after work tomorrow, so if you could pick up Soph from preschool that would be great.”

“Perhaps instead we can all go? I was thinking that I would bring him to the university with me so that he’s not alone all day. You could get her and then we could meet somewhere, get dinner afterwards?”

You lean closer to him to curl around his arm and rest your head on his shoulder. He always thought so much about others, especially children. Laszlo had such a heart of gold and it honestly left you in awe of just how much he was willing to give so that others could find peace and happiness. Like the older he got the more he had to give. The thought warms you. “How are you literally the best person I know? And to think you used to be so worried about being able to be a good father and now you’re the best of all of us.” He huffs a little as you nuzzle into his chest.

“I have you to thank for that, Bärchen.” He drops a kiss to your head. “But it’s getting late and I’ve been up all day. We should get some sleep.”

Soon after you're both dreaming.

___

Stevie had been with you for three weeks. It only took him a few days to start to settle in, and you discovered that he was quick with his wit and far smarter than he let on. He was a little bit of a sarcastic smart-ass at times, but all in good nature. He was endlessly entertaining. Laszlo sat down with him almost everyday to talk about what he was feeling, the things he experienced, and ways to deal with the loss of his family. Already you both saw improvement.

Even Sophia got on well with him. Most teenage boys wanted nothing to do with little kids, let alone a 4 year old that loved playing 'spaceship barbie'. But not Stevie. On his fifth day you'd found him sat on the floor playing with her and going along with her childlike imagination. When she insisted he play the barbie that needed saving he went along with it, high pitched voice and everything. He even encouraged her to pick up her toys before bed - a feat you and your husband struggled with at times. It struck you how much Stevie became a big brother of sorts to her.

Laszlo grew even more fond of the boy. He wasn't really one for TV, but every evening he sat and watched some show on Netflix about racing with the teen and didn't complain once. Laszlo had tried to explain the role of adrenaline in racing drivers as a psychological function, but Stevie just brushed it off and said it was the driving so fast that made it "cool".

The two did bond over an unlikely subject - punk rock. When you got home from work two weeks into his stay and heard the music blasting in the parlor you worried someone had broken in. Whipping into the room you saw Laszlo in his chair tapping his foot to the intense guitar and singing; Stevie nodded along to the music as he held an old album cover. It didn't take long for Sophia to start jumping along to the music too.

"What is this?" You yelled out over the bass - you couldn't recognize it and it clearly wasn't English.

"Die Toten Hosen, a band I listened to growing up in Germany. Stevie found the record and asked to listen."

"Listen? I think you mean blow out your eardrums!" Even with needing to shout to be heard you had to laugh at the situation. How your husband had a secret love for German punk you'll never know; yet you would never let him live it down.

And when Stevie came and woke you both up in tears three nights ago you made him hot chocolate while Laszlo sat down with him. He confessed that he had never been treated or cared for like he was in your home. How he wished he could stay because he felt wanted. Your heart broke for the boy. To be so young and so lost, craving someone to simply be there for him.

Yet everyday he grew more open. He broke out of his shell. He had goals and ambitions; he wanted to amount to something bigger than he had thought he ever could. It almost shocked you at how much fire was within him.

At how much he fit in with your little family.

At how it was like he was meant to be there.

___

Laszlo was oddly quiet when you got home. Sophia had run off to find Stevie, and you tracked your husband down to his office. He listened as you talked about your day for a good ten minutes; he said almost nothing the whole conversation.

You move closer to him. Placing the back of your hand to his forehead you check to see if he's feverish or sick. He didn't feel warm. "Laz, are you feeling okay?"

He gently pulls your hand down and leaves a kiss on your palm. "The department of social services called this morning to inquire about what we want to do with Stevie. This would be the third time they have asked."

He hadn't mentioned it to you at all that they were calling already. "Okay. What do you think we should do?" You pause for him to continue.

"I told them I would need to speak with you before any further decisions were made regarding him…" His fingers tap against the wood of his desk. "I'm not sure I have an answer for them. Nor for you." He swallows. "I'm afraid of what might become of him should he go into the system. Or that he will not get the support he needs given his past. Any option involving allowing him to stay for a bit longer is a commitment I won't make without your full support, of course. I could never ask that of you." As he speaks you can hear the frustration pouring from him, feel the irritation radiating through the room. "I refuse to give up on him- I- I just don't have the answers on what to do without them hounding me and he deserves better than this, dammit."

"He does… Do you remember on your 50th birthday, what you told me?" Laszlo looks up at you confused. "You said that you had wished you were ten years younger so you had the energy and time to do all of it again. That if you were younger we would've had a whole gaggle of kids - brothers and sisters for Sophia."

"Wishing I was younger doesn't make a difference in helping Stevie-"

"Laszlo - let's adopt him." Your words stop him in his tracks. You had decided not to have any more after your daughter was born. Laszlo was nearing 50 and the pregnancy had been hard on you. But regardless you knew that you both had the means and the love to give another child, probably five or ten more children if you really wanted to. So why not start with one that's already wormed his way in to the family? "I've seen how fond you are of him already. You've taken him under your wing as if he was your own. And how good he is with Sophia? Hell I couldn't ask for a better older sibling for her - and she loves him already. And honestly, Laz, I do too."

"You think we should adopt Stevie?"

"I think we should ask, yeah. He deserves a good home and a strong father figure that's going to put him first. He looks at you like you hung the stars, Laszlo. He needs us, and truthfully I think we need him. So yeah - what's one more added to this little shindig we've got going for us?"

"Have you-"

"-thought it through? Yes. Completely."

You can see the smile he fights to hold back. "We should call tomorrow and see what the protocol is for stating our intent to adopt and getting the paperwork."

"Um…" You shuffle your feet. Nose scrunched, you confess "I may have already called them. On the way from work I asked about what would need to be done if we wanted to pursue that route, but since they already know who we are from you working with them for years it can be fast tracked." You pull him out of his chair to stand before you. "All we have to do is say 'go'."

He has no hesitation.

"Go."

Laszlo doesn't hold back his smile or his laughter as he spins you around his office floor. You're certain your children downstairs can hear your giggles.

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