#shit like this is why I do not trust walled garden devices

[hunter-rodrigez]

Microsoft is putting its foot down when it comes to unauthorized controller use. The company has begun banning any third-party Xbox controllers and accessories that aren't part of the "designed for Xbox" hardware partner program.

Source

Wow, what a great move, microsoft... I bet all the disabled people out there who rely on custom-made third-party controllers will just looooove this change...

Or the fighting game community who like to custom build their own fighting pads...

Or the hardcore racing game players who build custom steering wheel setups and whatnot...

Or just the people who can't afford to dish out $70 for an "official" controller.

Or pretty much anyone who doesn't use one of your controllers for whatever reason...

Well anyway, in conclusion:

Go fuck yourself, Microsoft

[jaggedlittleteacup]

Three Acts

Note: @call-me-moo Here ya go!

Act Two

I finally wake up after an unknown number of hours spent in some sort of medically-induced coma. Everything hurts, although my body feels delightfully and sufficiently drugged with a healthy dose of morphine. I suspect it’d be considerably worse without it, but I don’t have long to ponder this.

After a moment of taking in the situation, I make the mistake of cautioning a glance over to my right.

Mary.

Mary is here.

Mary is here, in my room, most likely to finish what she started.

I consider screaming, or panicking, or thrashing about to alert the nurses to her presence, but she would most likely shoot me and escape before then. My only option is to hear her out, or at least stall for long enough to craft a plan.

“You look tired,” she says sweetly, gesturing over to my entire body. Her tone shows she’s clearly being sarcastic.

No...shit...

I swallow, my dry throat begging for some sort of relief, and nod. “I...am.”

“Hm…probably because I upped your morphine dose. Sherlock, Sherlock, always the drug addict. What’s John going to think?” Mary laughs softly and tilts her head. “First you get yourself shot, then you get yourself high. Tsk-tsk.” A peculiar expression creeps onto her face and stretches her glossy pink lips into a grin so wide, it’s almost grotesque.

“He’ll...believe...me…” I croak out, my fingers reaching for the monitor that controls the drug influx. It’s just so far that my fingertips brush against it, but I can’t reach it. It feels as though I have become Tantalus.

“He won’t. Not over me.” She shakes her head and opens her bright red leather purse with a gentle click. “It’s all right. Allow me to up the stakes, because you obviously don’t understand.” She pulls out her gun with a sigh and reluctantly shows it to me. “The CCTV cameras are off, in case you were wondering. No-one can see or hear in this room, so if there’s anything you’d like to say…”

How could she betray us all?

I trusted her. John trusted her.

God…

“You’re…” I feel dizzy, and pause to recollect my racing thoughts. “You’re going to...kill me…?”

“No. What kind of assassin do you take me for? I don’t like killing, Sherlock, but I’ll do whatever it takes to keep myself safe. Even if it means shooting you.” Mary continues to carefully examine the dark, shiny gun as though she’s never seen a weapon before.

“And...Catherine?”

“Rosie,” she corrects with a forced laugh. “Rosamund Watson. She’s going to be our stillborn daughter.”

I allow a horrified expression to show on my face, much to her great amusement. Something in her eyes is taunting how obvious I am, that’s clear.

She didn’t...she’s not going to...

“I’m not a monster, contrary to what you think of me,” she whispers. “I got an abortion soon after that convenient revelation of yours at the wedding. The little brat ruined the bloody wine…And I was wondering why that dress was so tight!”

“A cover...story, then,” I say with a pained grimace. “You go to the...hospital under the...guise of...severe stomach pains, someone- I assume...you paid someone off…”

Mary smiles sweetly and leans back in her chair, crossing her navy blue, slack-clad legs gracefully. “Oh, clever. I wasn’t lying to John when I said I liked you. All good things must end, Sherlock, but you don’t have to,” she explains with a sigh of impatience.

I need to tell him.

“What...do you mean…?” I carefully stall, simultaneously attempting to come up with a plan while diverting her attention. A simple enough tactic, one she could probably see through with ease if she were looking for it.

“What I mean...” she says slowly, as though elaborating on something to a small child, “...is that you’re not going to tell John. Not about Magnussen, not about our little incident. Not a word, or else-“ Mary mimes shooting a gun with her fingers, despite holding a real one in her other hand. Some things never change.

“You’ll...kill...John…”

Killer. Murderer. Liar.

“Yeah, I really don’t want to. He’s adorable, you know. Not to mention how much time I’d have to waste assuming a new identity.” She shrugs nonchalantly. “But I’ll do what I must.”

What’s truly remarkable is how normal she looks. Innocent and unassuming. It’s almost...jarring, in a sense, to hear her speak such heartless words.

I have to tell John. Even if it kills me.

“I go...along,” I murmur, wincing in pain, my words still a bit slurred, “and you promise...not to hurt...John…?”

I can’t believe anything she says.

She brushes a hand against my cheek, her gaze settling on my scarred chest. “Swear to God. I’m glad we could come to an understanding. I suppose you’ll want to lower the morphine levels before you go into toxic shock?”

“That would be...ideal, yes.”

“Too bad,” she snaps, her eyes glinting in the dim light as she stands up and makes her way to the entrance of the room.

Oh, she’s enjoying this.

“Get John...in here...I need a...doctor.” I groan and reach for the machine once more. “And stay...the hell...out of my room.”

“Fine. But remember, Sherlock…” Mary presses her finger against her lips and closes the door behind her.

I estimate I have seven minutes before anyone notices I’m gone. Morphine levels are tolerable, I’ve functioned with larger doses. Now...coat, fresh set of clothes...all on the chair, good. Now to fix the bandages and somehow make it to Leinster Gardens without bleeding out. Easier said than done.

The window is unlocked. Good- breaking it would have drawn nurses to my room.

I push myself out of the uncomfortable hospital bed with a gasp of pain. My arms are weak, and so are my legs. For a moment, I’m not sure if I’ll be able to make it, but then I remember how much danger John is in.

Today we are soldiers.

I lift my body with a grunt and grab my clothes. I really should change outside, but I decide that inside the room is better. I pull on my shirt and trousers with some difficulty, and throw my coat over it all to ensure I don’t catch pneumonia in the frigid air.

I carefully unlatch the window and lean on the edge to catch my breath.

One slip and I’m done for.

My cold fingers fumble for support as I pull myself over the side and land on the narrow ledge. A fall from this height would be lethal.

For John.

I’m cautious all the way down, and don’t exhale until my feet are safely on the ground. I feel lightheaded and broken, but I have something I need to do.

I don’t even realise my hands are shaking as I pull out my mobile. I dial John’s number, every press making my stomach tie itself further into knots.

“J...John?” I ask weakly, knowing I only have a few precious seconds.

“Christ, Sherlock!” I hear his shocked voice yell from the device. “Where the hell-“

“Leinster...G-Gardens…” I say with a shiver.

I could really use my scarf right about now.

“You’re going to bloody kill yours-“

I hang up.

Not the time. He'll thank me later.

I swallow and lean on the hospital’s sturdy brick wall with a sigh. I am going to do this if it kills me. There is no doubt in my mind, not now.

Time to go meet Mary.

~

Act One linked below:

https://benaddicted-linfanuel.tumblr.com/post/656892650818011136/three-acts

Act Three linked below:

https://benaddicted-linfanuel.tumblr.com/post/656990419321864192/three-acts

[mymoodwriting]

@xcharlottemikaelsonx

Previous

“Have you ever been hurt before?”

“Huh?”

“You never went on missions with your boys, have you ever had an injury that Ten needed to heal?”

“Oh… well… no… they all kept me pretty safe…”

“I see.”

      You were quite surprised as to where you ended up. The place seemed so plain and boring, and yet you entered an indoor garden. You were amazed by the sight and then you spotted a familiar face.

“Ten!”

      You ran over and hugged the boy from behind. He seemed a bit startled at first and then overjoyed to see it was you. He was quick to embrace you, peppering your face with kisses.

“Y/n, are you okay? I’ve been worried sick!”

“I’m fine, I-”

    You whimpered as you moved your broken hand. He was quick to find the source and grab your hand. His ability to heal helped him identify injuries even if they weren’t obvious. He gently took your hand, healing it, and then glaring at Taemin.

“What did you do!”

“He didn’t do anything.” You quickly moved between them. “I broke my hand…”

“What? How?”

“It was an accident… Taemin had me talking with someone and… I got really upset…”

“What do you mean?”

“I can read minds, Taemin taught me and… I learned… I saw… I saw the things they did to Taemin…”

“You showed her that stuff!”

“I’m okay, Ten. It’s important to… understand each other…”

“Still.”

“I said I’m fine. Besides I got to know what it’s like for you to heal me, and it’s pretty cool.”

Ten sighed and ruffled your hair. “Yeah, it’s pretty cool.”

“What are you doing here anyway? This place is really beautiful.”

“Practicing.”

“Huh?”

“Watch this.”

    Ten picked a wilted flower. You stared at it perplexed, and then you saw it bloom again. You took the flower with amazement, taking in the scent.

“Wow, that’s so cool! I didn’t know you could do something like this.”

“Me neither.”

“Is that why you’re here? Making everything bloom again?”

“More or less. This is a different type of healing… I need to get used to it to be better.”

“I’m sure you will.”

“You should get back to it.” Taemin said. “I’m sure the others would like to… see… y/n.”

    It had been a while since you actually saw the rest of your boys, so you were excited to see them. Although you then remembered what you had done to Taeyong and Mark, suddenly feeling shy and guilty. You didn’t know who you were gonna see first, and you didn’t know what you were going to say either. Instead of a garden this time you entered a plain white room, seeing Taeyong huddled in a corner, some weird device on his head that blocked his vision, and a collar around his neck. You ran to him before you could be stopped, forgetting your previous worries.

“Taeyong! What did they do to you! What is this?”

“Y/n… is that really you?”

“Yes, what’s going-” Taeyong pulled you into his arms, feeling you up to make sure it really was you. “It’s me Taeyong.”

“I’ve been worried like crazy. Are you okay? You’re not hurt are you?”

“No, I’m fine, but what about you? What are they doing?” You turned to Taemin. “What is this?”

“Necessary.”

“Necessary! I thought you were being a dick to just me cause I can’t do shit!”

“What?” Taeyong’s grip on you got tighter. “What are you talking about? What has he been doing to you?”

“I’m fine, Taeyong… he’s just… helping me figure out my powers.”

“Helping?”

“… I kinda get how reading minds go… you’re really worried about Taemin’s intentions right now… and trying to figure out how to get out of your restraints.”

“So you also just go into people’s heads without permission now?”

“I… sorry… I didn’t-”

“You’re not hurt, right? You’re not lying to me?”

“No… I’m okay…”

“You gotta look after yourself okay, I’ll figure this out, so just hold on.”

“Have I not been clear?” Taemin questioned. “I have no ill intentions towards any of you, but I understand you need proper motivation to improve.”

“Then stop speaking in riddles and tell me what you want from me. You’re doing this for a reason, so tell me what you think I can do.”

“Just like that? You’ll do it?”

“Try me.”

“Excellent. Now, listen closely cause I don’t like repeating myself. You create duplicates of yourself, empty headed copies of you that function with a singular purpose in mind. In this state you cannot see, but you don’t necessarily need your eyes.”

“I said to stop-”

“What makes you think you can’t possibly connect, or possess, your duplicates? They are you after all.”

“You think I can… like… project my consciousness?”

“Of course, it would have made things easier back then too. Send out a copy of yourself while you remain behind to look after y/n, both of you safe and sound.”

“If that’s it, what’s with the shock collar? I can’t create a duplicate like this.”

“You need to get used to the pain.” Taemin pulled you out of Taeyong’s arms. “Let’s go.”

    Taeyong tried to reach for you again, but never found you. Instead he heard the door close and was once again in his solitude. At least now he had a goal, or at least something to try, since he still didn’t believe what Taemin told him was possible. Regardless he needed to do something, you were all on your own, and he couldn’t be locked up like this. For now at least he could focus on getting past the pain of the shock collar and use his power like normal.

❤

    A part of you wanted to choke out Taemin when you saw Mark was in a similar form of restraint. Kai had been in the room, casually sitting at the table, trying to get the other to eat.

“Mark…”

“Y/n? Is that you?”

“Yeah I-”

    This time when you tried to approach Taemin kept a tight grip on you. Kai was just on his phone, no interest in what was going on around him. You glared but didn’t get a chance to speak.

“You’re quite disappointing, Mark.”

“Does it look like I care?”

“You made the choice to stay, and yet you remain in your bonds even though you could have escaped them long ago.”

“As if your previous threats haven’t left the impression of not trying shit.”

“I said you shouldn’t leave this place, as you’d have no way of coming back, I never said anything about your restraints.”

“He’s not that smart.” Kai commented. “At this point I think we should spell it out for him.”

“Ya!” Mark countered. “I’m right here!”

“Taemin this isn’t fair.” You said. “I get you want to help, but why are they all kept locked up this way?”

“Ten isn’t.”

“But Mark and Taeyong?”

“Don’t forget Lucas.” Kai added.

“What!”

“Each of your powers need to be treated differently, and these methods surprisingly help achieve that.”

“How!”

“Simple, you heard what Taeyong can do. Mark simply needs to learn how to manipulate his portals in a more flexible way.”

“Huh?”

“You’ve only ever created portals big enough to escape through, never to do anything else, right?”

“So?” Mark questioned. “What’s your point?”

“Make a portal to get the collar off. Either make a portal like a collar to swallow up the dangerous piece, or create a second skin that’s a portal and simply step out of the restraints. You have so much potential and yet you do nothing with it.”

“You expect me to do something like that?”

“If you ever want to get your vision back, yes.”

“Are you insane!”

“This was always my concern with you, your own self-doubt. Y/n, what have you learned?”

“Well… I can read minds…”

“You’ve been doing this shit to her too!”

“No, y/n does require more… intimate sessions.”

“What the hell have you been doing!”

“I’m fine, Mark, I swear.”

“I can’t even look at you right now, how can I be sure?”

“Then get out of your restraints.” Taemin hissed. “I do believe you’re capable.”

“Fuck you.”

“You’d be more threatening if you weren’t in your current state. Also if you weren’t yelling at a wall.”

    Kai chuckled, and Mark didn’t even bother to move, not wanting to make the situation worse. Your feeling of trust was starting to fade, not that it was ever really there, but it wasn’t being built right now either.

“If you want him to be able to manipulate his portals in a different way than he’s used to… shouldn’t he be able to see?”

“Touché.” Kai laughed. “But it’s funny seeing him stumble around.”

“Why did you blind him in the first place?”

“Didn’t want him to just leave.” Taemin said. “Of course he could have left by now, but he shows loyalty by remaining. I suppose you have a point, and I don’t believe he’ll do something stupid. Kai, can you remove the blindfold, the collar stays though.”

    Kai got up and removed the device on Mark’s head. The boy needed a moment to adjust to the light, and then his eyes found you. He appeared relieved to see that you were alright, and you gave him a smile and wave.

“You’re okay?”

“Yup.”

“You’re not lying, right?”

“No, I’m really okay.”

“And you should get to practicing.” Taemin said. “We’ll check in later.”

“Wait-”

    You didn’t get a chance to say more as Taemin escorted you out, Kai coming along as well given he no longer needed to watch over Mark. You stepped away though, not enjoying these visits anymore.

“What?”

“Why do you have to do this? Ten’s not locked up, but the others are?”

“The others don’t exactly like me.”

“And you think this will help?”

“So you rather I let them all free? As if Mark wouldn’t grab you and run the second he had a chance. If they can all learn to do something new then they’d understand I have their best interests in mind.”

“Why not tell the truth instead of being vague? I understand what-”

“You got to see what happened, you have proof that my words are true, they won’t get that.”

“Well… what if I can? I can read minds, what if I can like… project images, and show them?”

“No.”

“I can’t?”

“No I… I’m sure you could… but I’m not onboard with you seeing those memories again…”

“I’d help with this lack of trust.”

“I appreciate that, but you still need to hone your own powers.”

“Right…”

“Come on, I’m sure Lucas would also enjoy your visit.”

    You really wish it didn’t have to be like this. You just wanted your boys back, but it’s not like you were planning to help them escape either. You started to wonder if maybe they would lose trust in you.

“Lucas hasn’t been in here long, so hopefully this goes well.”

    Taemin opened the door and gestured for you to go in. The cells were all the same, plain white walls, but you didn’t see Lucas. You walked in cautiously and before you could say a word you were grabbed and flipped over. Your back slammed against the ground, and you got the wind knocked out of you.

“Lucas!”

    Taemin and Kai rushed in, pulling the other away from you. It was hard to breathe, and you started coughing making it worse.

“Kai, go get Ten! Now!” At some point Taemin had you in his arms. “Calm down, you’re alright, just calm down.”

    Ten was suddenly in your vision, a hand on your chest. You weren’t hurt bad, so there was just a bruise to heal, and for you to regain your breath.

“What the hell is wrong with you!” When he was done with you, Ten had thrown a punch at Lucas. “She didn’t do anything.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t know it was her.”

“So you were just going to attack one of the others.”

“We were supposed to work together, and now I’m here!”

“And you think doing this will help?”

“Then why am I locked up.”

“At the end of day, this method is required for you.” Taemin admitted. “You need to focus on your hearing. If you do so, one day you’d be able to recognize y/n based on her heartbeat or breathing alone.”

“She’s okay… right?”

“I’m fine.” You spoke up with a hoarse voice. “Just fine.”

“Sorry…”

“This is for your own good Lucas.” Taemin said. “It’s not fair, I understand, but necessary.”

“I just don’t… what do you think I can do? Super hearing… it’s not much…”

“You’re underestimating yourself. If you truly focus, you could see the world without eyes. Think of it like echo location. Sound bounces off of everything, if you listen, you could possibly create a blueprint of your surroundings. Your powers would be excellent for surveillance and infiltration, not just cracking safes.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Taking your eyes is necessary, and I’m sorry for that.”

    You got to your feet and went over to Lucas. He flinched at first, startled, but let you embrace him. Your throat still felt weird, and you just had a phantom ache in your chest, but you weren’t upset with him.

“I’m not mad you know… not about this… or the train…”

“We haven’t talked about  that…”

“I don’t suppose we can talk now?”

“You can’t neglect your own training.” Taemin reminded. “And we need to examine your new ability properly.”

“Right…”

“I’ll be fine.” Lucas assured. “You should go.”

“I can come by later, right?”

“Sure.” Taemin said. “Visits are fine.”

❤

    You did get to see the others more often, although it sucked that Mark was the only one with his vision. Taemin did inform you that they were making progress, and you looked forward to seeing it yourself one day. Out of all of them Taeyong was the one trying the hardest. He knew he could get out of this, or that he had the potential to. His motivation was you, just to see cause he hasn’t had the chance to since he left you with Ten on the train.

    The first part was just creating a duplicate through the pain. He did learn to tolerate it, which certainly took a lot out of him. The hard part though was actually connecting to his double, if that was at all possible. He could feel something about him that was outside his own body. He never noticed it before, but it seemed that his clones didn’t just exist autonomously. That small feeling, he did his best to grab onto it, and just make it stronger. Then to his own amazement he did it.

    Taeyong was no longer in darkness. He needed a moment to adjust, and then he could take in his surroundings. The room was plain, and then he could see himself sitting in the corner, seeing the contraption on his head. He was about to examine it further when the door opened. He caught a glimpse of Baekhyun before a blinding white light shoved him back into darkness. Taeyong gasped, startled by the action and then he felt the pain, as if someone had shot him in the head. It was something like never before, and then he realized he was back in his original body, somehow.

“So… what’s my hair color?”

“Baekhyun? What the fuck just happened?”

“I killed your clone.”

“Why!”

“I thought you were in there.”

“I was! So why would you do that!”

“Can’t let you try to escape, besides, I thought you were used to the pain?”

“I… I… that was…”

“Do you know my hair color? Or did you miss it?”

“No… it’s brown.”

“Bravo.” Baekhyun removed the blindfold. “You get your own eyes back.”

“Did I really just…”

“Die? Possess another body? Yes, very impressive, Taemin will be happy to hear.”

“I didn’t… where’s y/n?”

“Busy with her own training. Although you need to show Taemin your improvement first, so you might want to practice some more.”

“Are you just gonna kill me again?”

“Yeah, but not so often. Good job though, I’m sure y/n would love to see it too.”

    Baekhyun excused himself, completing his task in regards to Taeyong, for the moment. When he stepped out Kai was out in the hall waiting for him.

“So did he really do it?”

“Yup.”

“Nice. When do you think he’ll join us?”

“He needs to get the hang of possessing one of his duplicates first. Then maybe he can control more than one at a time.”

“Ugh, they advance so slow.”

“We’re not the Organization. We’re not pushing them until they break.”

“But how long do we have before the Organization catches up to us? They have nothing better to do but hunt us down right now, and they’re not just gonna kill us.”

“They might if they discover y/n is a telepath.”

“Or they’ll just want to get to her first. We can protect her, but not all of the others at once.”

“We need to trust they’ll get there. Besides, this is exactly why Taemin is so focused on y/n’s training, if she gets a better handle on her powers, then we don’t have to worry about the rest.”

“Do you really think Taemin’s theory will work? It sounds far-fetched, even for him.”

“He can already do so much by bending the rules of his powers, this isn’t just a theory.”

“True, and he’s based it out of jealousy.”

“No.”

“Yes. Come on, y/n’s what the Organization wanted, Taemin was second best. If his plan really does work, you have to admit it’s kinda petty.”

“But it’ll get the job done.”

“At what cost? Y/n?”

“Whatever is necessary.”

Next

[superworldunkown]

King Explosion Marbles

AN: Yo. I literally just switched browsers and I lost my entire draft! UGH! Anyways this is not the start or point of the story but, the title relates to ‘Marble Jar friends’ from Brene Brown. I love it, and highly suggest you look into her and the meaning behind it. And, I am 100% convinced out of all of the Bakusquad, my BB would have the most marbles. Read on to know more.

Summary: Bakugou is convinced the group has lost their marbles. And yes, it was all your fault. Bakugou x POC reader (Because, Yes. Just yes.)

“UGH! I swear I could...I could just kick someone in the face right now.” 

Everyone looked up. Even Bakugou. Usually he was the overtly aggressive one of the group. In fact, what the hell?! Was someone coming for his unofficial/official place in BakuSquad rankings? But he said nothing. No one did. Mina Ashido was not one to be messed with. And the fact that she was displaying an emotion that wasn’t bubbly and bright meant danger was near. And no one, not even the Explosion Hero himself would get in her path. 

You, however, were the brave soul that dared engage with the seething hero in training, “Something up Mina?”

Everyone was currently lounging in Sero’s room. His, by far, was the nicest of the group. Bakugou’s room was still a mystery, and the group was almost certain that it was boobytrapped with grenades. And you were a general studies student, so you never offered your space for study sessions due to the rising conflict between the classes. Sero was currently lounging in his hammock while Denki and Kirishima were sitting on his bed, back propped up against the wall, currently engaged in a video on Sero’s laptop. Bakugou sat seated at the desk across the room, trying not to pay attention while he studied the open book in front of him. You were positioned on your back on the floor, your head resting against the plush pillows. 

“Yeah, you want a ride in the hammock? It’ll help calm you down.” Sero added with a bit of smoothness.

“I don’t want a hammock. I want revenge!” Mina’s eyes were practically glowing. All the boys began to mentally prepare their emergency exit plans.  

“Girl...” You patted the pillow next to you, “Step into my office.” 

Mina let out another groan before dropping to her knees and falling head first into the plush pillow. Your hand found her way to her back, running soft circles against her uniform while she kicked and pounded her fists on the floor. 

Crisis Avoided.

“Whew,” Kirishima sighed softly, “Man, I’m glad we added Y/N to the group.” His red eyes turning towards the blonde boy at the desk. Bakugou, knowing he was being watched pressed his cheek further into his palm and continued to study quietly.

“So,” you began, “What’s got you upset?”

Mina, now in a much more calmer state turned her head towards you, “Hagakure told one of my biggest secrets to everyone down in the common room! It was so embarrassing, and I know everyone was laughing! Even if they weren’t.” 

“Oh. And I bet that was something Hagakure wasn’t supposed to tell other people, right?” 

“Yeah! I mean, I didn’t say don’t tell anyone but...girl code you know! I swear, for someone so invisible she sure has a big mouth!”

Sero let out a low whistle. Mina was in full savage mode. 

“Aw, that wasn’t very manly of her.” Kirishima, bless this boy, tried to chime in to show care to his friend, however the girls gave him a dangerous glare and he quickly turned his attention back to the laptop screen. 

“Anyways,” Mina continued, “I swear I’ll never trust her or anyone again!” 

You nodded taking everything in, “Well don’t punish everyone because she made a bad decision. People have to earn your trust.  Maybe you just need to take a couple marbles out of her jar, until she earns them back.” 

Now everyone’s attention was on you.

“Huh?”

“Marble what?” Kirishima asked.

“Yeah what’s that about marbles?” Sero added in.

“What?! Did Hagakure lose her marbles or something?!” Denki practically shouted.

Bakugou just turned a red eye towards you. It was his silent ways of saying, “Explain.” 

And, you did. “You guys never heard about marble jar friends before?” taking in the confused faces you continued. Sitting up you scooted towards the small table which was adorned with a small zen garden and a few small decorative bowls, “Okay well my mom taught me that the people in your life have to earn your trust. And the more trust you have, the more you let them into your life and the more you can be open with them and tell your secrets and stuff like that.” 

The group watched as you reached for a small stone in the zen garden, placing into the bowl, “When someone does or says something kind to you, you put a marble in their jar. And when they do something that hurts you, you take it out.” You reached back for the stone, placing it back in the garden. 

Denki gave a confused face, “So, you have jars for all your friends?” 

You chuckled, “Not physically, no. But I do in  my head.” You turned your attention towards the pink haired girl, “So you can still be friends with Hagakure, she just has to earn back her marbles before you trust her with one of your secrets again.” 

“Oooh,” Mina leaned in closer, examining the bowl and the zen garden.

“Wait! How do you earn a marble?” Sero asked, he was leaning so forward he was about one inch away from falling out of his hammock. In fact, everyone was fixated on you. Even Bakugou. (granted he was still staring at his textbook, but he did turn his chair ever so slightly in your direction).

“You decide that.” You answered. The room was shook.

“So, if Kirishima let’s me look at his notes, is that a marble?” Denki asked.

“It can be.” 

The two boys looked at eachother, smiling before bumping firsts.

“What if someone lets you borrow their weight set? Do they get a marble?” 

“That could be two marbles. It depends on you.” 

“Hey Bakugou!” Kirishima smiled, “You got two marbles!” 

“Shut up, idiot!” 

“And if Hagakure tells me she’s sorry, does she get a marble back?”

You shrugged, “Sure. It’s up to you.”

Everyone was on board, especially Denki, “Hey, I charge all your phones all the time, how many marbles are you guys giving me?” 

“You’re not getting marbles that easy!” Mina laughed, “You do that for everyone.”

“Yeah.” Sero spoke with a sense of professionalism. A true, marble connoisseur, “You truly must do something extraordinary to earn one of my marbles.”  

“See if I ever charge any of your phones again! It’s now a three marble minimum.” 

Oh dear, you had to do damage control. “Guys, I think you’re taking this way out of context.” 

The sound of Bakugo slamming his book shut caught everyone's attention. Bakugou stood, snatching the rest of his school books and walking towards the door, “I can’t even concentrate with you idiots talking about stupid friendship stones or whatever the fuck you call them. Mindterms are comin’ up! Don’t you all have studying to do?!” 

Sero narrowed his eyes and gave a sly smile, “They’re called Marble Jar friends Bakugou.”

“Yeah maybe you should study how to be nice to people!” Denki joked.

Your finger drew to your lips as you shushed Denki, who was clearly in his ‘torture Bakguou’ mode.

For whatever reason, when you were around, Denki could nag and pull jokes on Bakugou and he wouldn’t get blasted to bits. He reveled in it. Bakugou fucking hated it.

Bakugou instantly became red, he wasn’t sure why. Both of your eyes connected, which only made it worse“...Fuck off! All of you! I don’t give a shit what they’re called!” He slammed the door shut grumbling all the way back to his dorm room.

(TWO DAYS LATER)

Bakugou was currently lying in bed, his face still buried in a text book, his free arm hard at work lifting a rather heavy weight. He had made himself scarce the past few days. He had mostly spent his days holed up in his room, class, or the training grounds. Midterms were approaching, and for some annoying reason, Deku’s grades were getting closer to his own. Now Bakugou’s time was devoted to keeping his top rank, and keeping Deku from coming anywhere close to his grades. Despite his valiant effort of staying totally focused, the vibration of his phone caught his attention. And, though he tried to ignore it, it pinged a few more times, gaining his full attention.

Dropping his weights and books and unlocking the device, he saw your name flash across the bright screen.

“Don’t tell anyone... I can’t afford to lose any of my marbles.” The message read, followed by a video link. Tentatively, Bakugou clicked play.

***

“Alright everyone get-Hey! Are you recording us?” Kirishima asked, staring at you with wide ruby eyes.

“What are you talking about? I’m checking out the hero charts.” You lied from the other side of the device. 

Kirishima continued to stare for an extra second before turning his attention back to the group who was all huddled around a table in the 1-A common room, mason jars and brightly colored marbles littered the wooden surface, “Okay, everyone get your Bakugou jars.” 

The group took the Marble Jar friends analogy quite literally, and prepared secret meeting to share the marble jars and where everyone in class ranked. You decided to let them have their moment. It was fun, even though marbles were rolling everywhere. 

Everyone slid their jars to the center of the table, the sound of marbles clinking against the glass filled the room as Bakugou watched from the small screen. 

“Whoa! Kirishima your jar is almost full!” Denki exclaimed while examining the overflowing jar.

“Well yeah, he is my best friend after all.” The redhead gushed slightly. He pointed at each marble as he continued, “This ones for that time when the villains attacked the USJ and Bakugou stopped a villain from attacking me. And this one is for that that one time he invited me on that trip to I-Island after the Sports Festival. That was so fun, I gave him like 5 for that. And this one’s for always saving me a seat on the bus when we head to Ground Beta-”

“I gave him a marble for that!” Mina added happily, “For when he saves us all seats at lunch...I mean, I think he does. He’s always sitting at a empty table with 5 empty chairs...Maybe no one wants to sit with him but I think he does it for us. And I gave him a few marbles for that time he told me I was going to be his partner in hero defense training. He picked me! Mr. Aizawa didn’t even assign us!” 

“I gave him one for using my real name.” Sero laughed. “That was pretty cool. I’m only ‘soy sauce face’ half of the time now!”  

“You only gave him one marble for that?! You’re cheap Sero.” 

***

The video cut before Bakugou could hear his response. As his screen shut off he caught his reflection. Was he smiling?! Damn-it. Damn you. 

His screen once again lit up, 

“Sorry to distract you from your studies.” Your message read. “But, figured you could add ‘King Explosion Marbles’ to you Hero Name list, if you were still undecided.” 

Two buildings down in the 1-C dorms you were nervously staring at your phone waiting for a response, even though it was Bakugou and you probably weren’t going to get one. Hopefully your plan worked. And, if on the rare occasion he did tell everyone that you recorded them during the ‘secret marble jar friends party’ earlier in the evening they would forgive you. Ugh, the things you did for the weird, moody, emotionally challenged friends in your life.

Your set your phone on your lap while your finger wrapped around one of your tight curls.  We’re you just friends though? You never nervously twirled your hair with anyone else. It was always him. When he gives you that cocky grin, he made your so nervous your freckles shook. And despite the brown hue of your beautiful skin, he made your cheeks glow like damn stoplight. 

Before you could further dive into your monologue the vibration of your phone shook you back to reality. 

Bakugou: “come over.”

You pulled your night shirt up over your lips to hide your smile. But, none the less you grabbed your already packed overnight bag, quickly replying back,

“On my way.”  

****

AN: Okay, how many marbles would be in your Bakugou jar? (He get all my marbles, and den some) 

[uhhhhyandere]

heheheehehehe 

no wedding yet. I really do be messing with the plot a lot, and making it when i shouldn’t but... i can’t help myself. ;p 

it’s totally true that light can be the sweetest person in order to convince anyone, and i exploit that like a bitch. as always, writing for fun, not perfection!! 

word count: 5.4k

 “I’ve been seeing you a lot more.” Rose mixed her drink with the spoon, but her eyes were happily trained on you. “It’s a good thing! Don’t get me wrong. You surprised me when you called to meet up. Usually, it’s me, then you say we’ll see, then you call me back later. It’s a nice change of pace when you call, but I know you’re busy with wedding planning and being happy.” You crossed your legs, slipping your hands under your thighs to warm them up from the ice of your own drink.  

“I think it’s probably because when the amount of stress in my life tripled is when I realized I need a break,” is what you said, and what Light told you to say if you were ever questioned on why you were suddenly so social after he allowed you the freedom to leave without permission. Perhaps he was finally tired of the calls throughout the day while he was working, or maybe there was a semblance of trust beginning to form. That, or he finally noticed that you were beginning to fester in the confines of your home and wants your spirit to lift once more, which is all the more amusing to you that he may think that would be feasible.

“Well, I don’t know how much I can do to help. I mean, I’m sure Light’s doing his part, right?” You laughed.

“Plenty.”

“Then, do you need anything at all? From me? Or mom?” As pins and needles in your hands began to spread, you removed them and stretched them out on top of your thighs.

“Can you tell me about your life?”

“Huh?”

“Your life. You know. Sato, your new apartment. Your sex life. I don’t care. Anything. Everything. I just need to look into someone’s life that isn’t my own,” because frankly, you were worried Light had something up his sleeve, and you knew, you knew, you would only bring yourself more misery if you drowned yourself in your thoughts. Your sister leaned back in the cushion and smiled to herself.

“Well, it was our three months last week. Nothing compared to you, but it was nice. I’ve never been the one for… commitment, really, but—I don’t know—seeing you and Light, it makes me think that ‘Yeah I want that,’ and it’s a nice change to hookups.” She cut herself off. Her eyes stuck on a crack in the wall below the window. With her lips parted, she sighed, and a sudden sadness fell onto her face. Her fingers played with the wood of the table for a few moments before she opened her mouth to speak again. “Sorry, I was just thinking about Oliver. Reminds me of him.”

“What does, specifically?”

“Commitment. He slept around so much in college, but, when he settled back in the US and met his partner, it was like he changed. That connection, he felt it immediately, and, right when he was brave enough to take the next step…” Rose wiped beneath her eyes, being careful to avoid the mascara on her bottom lashes. It seemed that her eyes were only watering though. “Well, you know.” Yes, you did. “I’m scared. What if I find that and then it’s just… taken away from me? It’s easy when there’s no feelings involved.” She shook her head and hid her mouth behind her hand. “Sorry. I’m supposed to be distracting you from the stress, but I’m just adding to it.”

You allowed the table to fall into silence. Every time you’ve seen Rose since Light gifted your freedom, there was a small, small voice in the back of your mind that told you to tell Rose the truth. Sometimes just parts of it, but you knew that you couldn’t unwrap a small piece without, over time, exposing it all. Even so, what harm could Rose really do with that information? She’s never ceased her devotion to Kira, and you remember it was a defining factor in Sato when she started talking to him. Would she see Kira different knowing he is not some omnipotent god descended from wherever to distribute justice on the human world? Losing her belief was too much of a risk in exchange for information she didn’t need to know.

Information she deserved to know.

“Double date.”

“What?”

“Why don’t you and Sato and me and Light just go for dinner or something? I don’t know him well, and it might be a good idea to try. I mean, when I get stuck up in the past, I try to appreciate the present by doing something. I think it’s what they all would want.” Lying comes too easy. Little did she know the dead you thought of most likely wanted you as dead as them, and, wherever Misa was, you were sure she wanted the same.

“They all?”

“Huh?”

“You said they all, as in plural.” You shook your head.

“Oh, yeah. Well, Light’s dad, coworkers he’s had who have passed, Oliver.” She folded her hands over mouth.

“I completely forgot. I—you’re right. We should set that up. Soon, and I mean soon. As in this weekend or the next? I know Light’s schedule is insane, and yours, too, with the wedding. Oh, and I’ll tell Sato that Light is okay with our beliefs, so there’s no issue there. You know, with Kira.” You shook your head.

“No, no, it’s fine. It was my idea. He makes his own schedule most of the time unless something particularly nasty comes up. I’m sure that he’ll be free. He tries for weekends off but… he’s a workaholic.” Rose laughed into the brim of her cup.

“Sounds like him. I’m sure Sato will be free too.”

“What does he do, if I may ask?”

“Oh, he’s a lawyer. He used to be a public defender, but now he’s moved to elder law since Kira first appeared.” She paused. “You know, I think that he could use it too. His stepbrother died a while back, and he looked up to him like they were blood brothers.” You nodded. “Speaking of which,” she raised her wrist, “I told Sato that I would meet him after his appointment to go to that—um—botanical garden, I think? I don’t know. I’m excited.” You watched her hurry to collect herself. “Are you coming?” You shook your head.

“No, I think I’ll stay for a bit,” you checked your own watch, “Light won’t be home for a little while anyway. You go have fun. Let this chained old hag stay here.” Rose scoffed.

“’Chained old hag’, my younger sister who is planning the best day of her life says. Call me when you talk to Light and we can set up that date. Bye! Love you!” By the time she was wishing you well, she was halfway towards the door. You smiled to yourself. No, you would keep her in blissful ignorance despite what she deserves. It only added to your list of shit deeds. Nothing new.

You dug into your back pocket and pulled out your cell phone you turned off for the duration of your coffee date and decided you would leave it that way. You could people-watch for the next half hour. Hell, you probably could for the next five hours and not even know. You could hardly remember the last time you had watched the passersby with no worries, or at least, with all of your worries suppressed to normalcy.

With each one that passed, you grew more and more envious. Though every person had problems, stressors, issues, you were sure that you would trade anything to have the struggles they are having, so blissfully unaware of the reality that is around them. How easy it was for them to simply perish from this world in forty seconds, and they didn’t even know. Too busy worrying about exams and deadlines to even care. You released a shaky breath and thought about how you would do anything to have calculus be your biggest problem.

Too little, too late. The time for self-pity has long passed. Still, you permitted yourself some time to wallow for the sake of “self-care.” To cry against the headrest of the coffee shop chair until it was three minutes passed the time you wanted to leave was a fine enough method. It gave you enough time to fix yourself so Light would never know the difference.

Though, he was nowhere to be found as you walked into your house. The only indication he was home was the muffled movement from the floor above. Before you moved to go up the stairs, the number of objects on your kitchen counter drew your attention. Multiple white binders with swatches of silk sticking out from the edges, different plastic flowers, multiple—.

“Oh my fucking god,” you muttered, dread dropping into your core like an anchor. You had a fucking meeting with your wedding planner today. You ripped your phone from your pocket a finally turned it on. Fifteen text messages. Eight calls. You were dead. You dropped the device onto the counter in order to cup your face with your hands and groan.

“Oh, nice of you to come home.”

“Light, I am—I don’t—I don’t know—.” He shushed you with an open palm. Your hands linked on the edge of the counter behind your back. Biting your lip, you kept your eyes on him, ready to take whatever he was planning to give. Light sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Stop looking at me like a wounded dog. I haven’t even said anything yet. When I allowed you your freedom, I didn’t mean to free your head from your brain either. I looked like a fool with her after calling you eight times. She asked me if everything was okay between us, if we were fighting. Do you know how annoying and more importantly embarrassing for me it was? Have you ever, for once, used your brain for anything outside of what is in front of you? Where were you, anyway? With your sister, again?” Light scoffed. “No wonder your head isn’t working as well as it used to.”

“Rose is not stupid.”

“She’s certainly not intelligent. Why have you sought her out so much, anyway? If there’s something wrong, you should be talking to me. She may be your sister, and she may think she knows what may be going on, but she never will. Rose can never bring you any comfort when she’s so in the dark. The only person who knows, who can bring you a semblance of peace, is me.” You clenched your teeth.

“Then why not tell her, then? Everything.” He scowled and a single brow rose in challenge. “She deserves to know at least how our brother and father died.” Your throat clenched, but you remained steadfast. They always say tears is how you convince someone of anything, but tears were only a sign of weakness to Light. He sighed, shoulders falling. Closing the space in between you, he brought his hand to delicately cup your jaw.

“The guilt is eating at you again. Y/N, if you decided to tell her that, you would need to tell her everything. You would risk losing all connection with her, just as your brother did when you told him.” He leaned in so his lips began to trail up your jaw, across your cheek, and towards your ear. “Not to mention the potential obstacle it could pose to me, and you know I don’t hesitate when it comes to anything that could stand in my way.” He placed a small kiss behind your ear. “Is that something you are willing to risk in order to alleviate your guilt? Is it really worth it?” His hand that was on your jaw traced up your cheek, fingernails lightly dragging across your skin. He tucked your hair behind your ear and moved his face, so he was looking directly into your eyes again. “I won’t waste my breath telling you what to do. By now, you should already know, which is why you have this freedom in the first place because you know better.” With a sigh, he retracted, leaving only his hand in your hair. “Still, should you decide to do something stupid, I won’t think twice before cleaning up your mess. Decide if you’re ready to go through that again.

He took his hand back and walked around to begin to stifle through the binders. Turning around, you helped him spread them all across the counter and the table.

“What did I miss?” Your voice was quiet, still nervous to tempt out a side of him you didn’t want to see. Light’s eyes jumped around the binders.

“You’re lucky we didn’t need to make any decisions today. I brought home everything. Color swatches, food options, flowers, music, venues, cake, everything,” You sighed. “Not to mention dresses.”

“Please don’t even mention it. I’ve always been more of a jumpsuit kind of person.” He met your eyes briefly. “I-I mean in general! No, I’ll be wearing the big, whitey giant. Just don’t even know where to start, and not just that, with everything. It’s so much. Do we even have a budget in mind yet?” He shook his head.

“Money shouldn’t be a problem.” You furrowed your brows, but he said it as easy as someone who was talking about the weather. “What? Don’t look so mystified. As long as we don’t decide to make this a royal wedding and invite the Queen, we don’t have any foreseeable problems.” In your time since you quit your job, you realized that you haven’t thought about money at all. It wasn’t really an issue that was… “in front of your face.” You scowled as Light’s statement replayed in your head. You used his card if you went anywhere or bought anything, and yet you haven’t even thought to check the bank statement.

By god, you were turning into a trophy wife. Maybe, if you knew what that really was. Whatever you were turning into, it didn’t settle right in your stomach.

“Then we should decide the vibe.”

“The… vibe,” he repeated skeptically.

“Yeah. Do we want it to be rustic, or classy and formal? Or modern? Minimalistic? Classic? I don’t know. Then we could decide colors to go along with the theme, and then flowers would follow. We work from the outside in. We just need to figure out the attendance before picking a venue. Then the date. Then—yikes, this is a lot.” You ran a hand through your hair. “Do you care?”

“What do you mean, ‘do I care?’”

“I mean, I don’t know. Sometimes guys are like ‘I don’t care,’ and—I don’t know I watch a lot of TLC and HGTV.” Light brought a hand to your waist and pulled you into his side. He rolled his head in your direction.

“Do you really think I am anything like those guys on TV?” You pushed his head away.

“Yeah, sorry. Stupid question. So, what about—.”

“Formal.”

“Huh?”

“The ‘vibe.’ Formal.” His fingers drummed against your hip. You shouldn’t be too surprised he would want it to be professional and classy given he’s been dressing for his job since high school. Though, if you wanted to pose an argument, could you? Not that you minded the formal idea, but maybe your freedom has given you some of your courage back to test your limits.

“What about rustic? Like country-side.”

“You expect me to be married in a barn?”

“Rustic does not mean getting married in a barn,” you laughed. “It’s what I’ve always imagined my wedding would look like. Maybe a sunflower field or horses. Outside under a huge oak tree on a summer day.” A smile grew on your face picturing it, but as Light remained silent, it fell into a pensive frown. Your brother would have walked you up the aisle. “Though, I guess nothing has really turned out as I’ve imagined.” Whatever moment of courage flared in you moments before died. “Formal is fine. Then the colors should coincide.”

“Gold and black.” You grinned quietly.

“Yeah, that’s—um—on theme. It’s-it’s good. I’m going to go get a pen and paper to write this all down. I think there are notebooks in the drawer in the closet.” You tore away from his side and sped to the closet. Shutting the door behind you, you released your wet and shaking breaths in the darkness of the small space. Warm tears spilled down your cheeks, and you laughed because you had no idea why you were even crying. Still, you wrapped your arms around yourself and silently squeezed your eyes shut to push them all out. The door opened behind you, flooding the closet with light. “I’m sorry. I s-swear I’m not crying. I’m not I’m—.”

Arms wrapped around your own. Gently, he guided you to move them to allow his own to take their place. He nudges his head to slot between your neck and shoulder, but he, for once, does not say anything. He need not to. This was to comfort you, sure, but you knew better to think it was a sign of care. He had to do this. To be his true, ugly self all the time would simply eradicate the pretty picture he paints that distracts you from reality. Light had to convince you that there was something there that was not twisted, raw possession. Maybe there was a time it would have genuinely worked too, but the time has long passed. All there was left to do was believe in the known lie that this was love.

And that went both ways. What you felt towards him… you called it love, but even that would be too simple. Fear. Hate. Loneliness. Were they parts of love as well? If so, then maybe love was the right word. It had to be. You couldn’t be marrying a man you hated, that you feared. You had to love him. That was the only… it was the truth. All those years, you did. You’ve loved him all this time. It was the truth.  You loved him. You would pledge the rest of your life to him. That was the truth. It was. It was it was it was it was it was it was it was—.

“I love you, Light.” A kiss to your neck was your only answer.  

  No more planning was done that day. Once your tears dried, Light led you to the bathroom upstairs by hand in silence. You followed his footsteps as he brushed his teeth, washed his face, and stepped back into the space of the bedroom. Your eyes followed his form as he opened the drawer in the dresser and placed yours and his pajamas on top. He changed himself first, unbothered by your shameless staring. Then, he turned to you.

With unmatched gentility, he gripped the hem of your shirt and slowly brought it up to your abdomen. You rose your arms to help him disrobe it. He walked around you and unsnapped your bra, throwing it alongside your shirt. Back in your view, Light motioned for you to raise your arms, and he slid your long pajama shirt down your body. Before moving to your lower body, you stepped back and discarded them yourselves and put on your own bottoms. There was a small smile on Light’s face as you turned back to him.

Despite it being the early evening, you both settled in next to each other on the bed. Light reached for the remote and began playing a movie you both had already saw from a time far different. You did not question a single thing as you nuzzled into his embrace. The warmth of his body was no lie even if the lips that sought yours were. The kisses were long. They were short. They were deep. They were shallow. They were consuming. They were fluttering. They were right. With his hand behind your head, Light devoured you, but he did no more. He did not move to your neck. His hands did not deviate below your shoulders. His show was… real. It was. When he would push far, he would filter back to shallow. When his teeth nipped too hard, his tongue would follow to soothe the pain. It was all him. His taste. His scent.  

He did not do this to Misa, to Takada. This was for you. You were his. No one else could have ever said so and told the truth. You smiled into the next kiss, turning your head to take him deeper. For all the fighting, the confidence those women had that he was theirs, and where are they now? Where has their confidence gotten them? Burned. Removed. Gone, yet here you were, alive. In a game you never wanted to play but was the front runner, you won. They got themselves killed or wherever they are. It was the truth. It was. Lips parting from his for air, you let yourself immerse into the brown of his eyes. Chests rising and falling together, breaths intermingled, this was right. It was. This was the God of the New World, and this was Light Yagami.

It was. 

“Gold and black,” you said. “With hints of purple.”

  “A double date?” You stared up at him the next morning, head nestled into the cusp of his arm and shoulder. “With your sister and her boyfriend?” You nodded.

“Impulsive idea, but it’ll look good when she tells my cousins and everyone. PR, you know? Not that you don’t already have a lot with my family who hasn’t even met you, but she talks to them a lot. Might help the day of. Might not, but… I would appreciate it. Her boyfriend is a lawyer.”

“Oh?” You nodded.

“His step-brother was too, but he died. We think. He’s missing, but he thinks that he’s dead. Well, that’s what Rose told me, anyway.” You fiddled with the fabric of his shirt that lied over his chest.

“What is his name?”

“Sato.” When you look back up again, Light was hyper-focused on the ceiling. “Do you know him?” He scoffed, moving his hand that was near your back to come forth and flick you in the forehead. You lost your head cushion in the process as he moves to get up. “She wants to set it up this or next weekend, if you’re free.” Light’s muscles flex as he stretches.

“Saturday is fine.”

“Oh, okay. I’ll call Rose, then.”

  The restaurant was one you had heard of many times but haven’t had the chance to go to yet. It was a more casual setting, but it was packed. However, Light used his magic to get a booth in the far corner. You slid next to him. “I don’t know how you do this.”

“When will they be here? I don’t like to wait for people.” Thoughts of your forgotten wedding planning appointment sail through your mind.

“Rose is always late, but she’ll show.” Light hummed in response and pulled at his jacket sleeves. It was only five minutes before you saw your sister happily heading towards your table, a stressed man of her age following behind. You and Light rose to greet her with a hug that you knew Light hated.

“Hi, Y/N. Light! It’s been so long. How are you?”

“I’m alright. How are you?”

“Amazing. Anyway, Y/N, Light, this is Sato.” You did a double-take at Light’s expression but shook it off as you greeted him. “I’ve told him a lot so, don’t be surprised of how much he knows of you two.”

“All good things,” Sato reassured. The four of you sat at the booth, and the waiter was immediately present to ask for drinks. “Though, it is great to meet the brilliant Light Yagami. Your work on that missing persons case was astounding. Who would have thought to connect the sister to the missing luggage and the misplaced car? I read over the case file.” Light smiled and laughed.

“Thank you. I try not to talk too much work outside of it, but that was a nasty case.” Rose groaned.

“We get it. You’re smart, Light. We know.” The waiter returned briefly with the beverages. “You’re lucky that you’re nice, or else I would have beat you up in college.”

“College?”

“Light, Y/N, and I are all alumni of To-Oh, though they’re both a few years younger than me.” Sato looked impressed at the three of you. “It’s where their love blossomed.” You shook your head and hid your face behind your sleeve. “Don’t get embarrassed, Y/N! It’s true. Anyway, Light, what are you up to these days anyway? I haven’t seen you in a while.”

“Wedding planning. Work. Nothing unusual, except maybe the wedding planning. That’s not really usual, is it?” Light laughed. Silence followed as you all scrutinized the menu. Light leaned over to you. “Do you want to split this?” Your normal answer would be absolutely not, but the gleam in his eye was unmistakable. Without even looking at the menu item, you nodded. “Alright.” The waiter returned to take the orders before leaving once again. “So, you’re a lawyer?”

“Yes! I used to be a criminal lawyer and did public defense here and there, but I’ve moved to elder law. A lot less stressful for the most part.” Your fiancé leaned forward, placing his chin in his palm.

“I see. Why the switch, if I may ask?”

“Oh, it’s no big deal. Criminals are dealt with without much help from lawyers. There’s a bigger force than judges and courts casting justice. Staying in the business is just financial suicide, especially with crime down the way it is.” Sato’s face fell. “My step-brother too. He was a criminal lawyer, but he disappeared a while ago. He was my biggest influence growing up. Couldn’t get a case without it reminding me of him, so I switched as well.” Light’s eyes did not move from his own.

“That’s a shame. I’m sorry. I lost my father as well, and Y/N and Rose lost their brother, but that’s why we’re here, isn’t it? The dead wouldn’t want us to cease our lives because of them. I know my father wouldn’t, at least.” Sato nodded.

“Same for Mikami.”

…What?

Light leaned back in the booth. It was nothing to Rose and Sato, but to you, it said mission accomplished. He crossed his arms and gave you only a second-long glance before focusing back on the company. You, though, you were choking on air and frozen to your seat. Though you’ve never met Mikami, having only seen him outside of the warehouse that… day, Light told you about him, and about he was almost the reason for his death should your father and you not been involved.

“…Y/N. Y/N!” Rose’s shrill voice cut you from your thoughts. “Thought we lost you there. Something on your mind?” You shook your head and laughed nervously. Tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, you dared not look at Light.

“No, sorry. Wedding things. What were we talking about?”

“I was talking about my step-brother and Light’s dad. Both of them were men of justice. I could see where you get your motivation and talent from then. Having your father as chief of police must have been a strong pull in the criminal justice path.”

“And your brother. He sounded like a good man.” Sato shrugged, scratching his nose with the crook of his finger.

“Yes, he was. He’s one of the main reasons I believe in what I believe in today. He loved Kira. Worshipped him, and when he died, I started to think the same. There was foul play in my brother’s disappearance, and I just hope that Kira has brought them to justice.” Your fists clenched under the table. Light placed a soft hand on your shaking fist and tightened his grip as you refused to loosen yours. “There’s simply no evidence. He was doing nothing different. Acting the same. Then one day he moved plans because he had somewhere he had to be. Then he was just gone.”  Light’s hand was at the point of hurting your own, so you finally loosened your fist. He still did not let go.

“I’m sorry that happened to you, Sato.”

“Has it crossed your desk, Light?” Rose asked. “Sorry. You’re with the NPA, so I thought maybe you would have seen it.” Light shook his head.

“When was this again?”

“January. A little more than a year ago.”

“It must have been around the time… something happened.” Oh, around the time you watched his brother and all your ‘friends’ die? Light must have sensed your discomfort and moved his hand from yours to grasp your thigh and rub back and forth. “It was a rough patch for me. I took off a lot of time then.”

“Oh, I had no idea. I’m so sorry. I remember I didn’t see either of you until the funeral, and even after…”

“Please, forget we said anything.” Sato finished for her. Light smiled and waved him off with his free hand.  

“It’s fine. You didn’t know. Still, I can look into your brother and see what I can pull. If I can help you find closure, then I’ll do my best.” With an earnest voice and an award-winning smile, he even had this man he just met looking at him like he had a halo and wings.

“I… really appreciate it. I can’t believe you’re actually as nice as they say. You know, sometimes highly accredited detectives can be… dicks. Thank you,” Sato’s gaze turned to you, “and congratulations to you both! I forgot to say before.” You grinned politely but could not speak.

“Ah, thank you. We’re still in early planning process, but we’re getting there.” He nudged you with his shoulder, and once again you grinned politely. “Anyway, how did you two meet? I hate to just talk about ourselves, though I can go on forever…”

You hardly spoke through the dinner, only responding when you were directly addressed. It was a good thing Light and you split a meal, as you couldn’t stomach more than a few bites. Light would squeeze your thigh when you had to respond. For the rest of the time, you were zoned out, focused on the cracks in the table, the movement of the servers, and anything else but the interaction between Light and everyone’s brother’s murderer. When it was getting too obvious your attention was purposely away from the table, you played with Light’s fingers that were on your thigh until Light offered to handle the bill and you were on your feet wishing your goodbyes.

“Are you okay?” Rose whispered as you hugged. Wordlessly, you nodded. “How are you, really?” You sighed.

“I’m fine. I promise.” You glanced to her boyfriend and your fiancé who both waited for the two of you. “Light will take care of me. Don’t worry.” Reluctant, she nodded and followed the men outside of the restaurant where you went your separate ways. You watched Rose lean happily into Sato, hands interlocked, while Light had a simple hand on your hip with his back poised and straight.

“You knew.”

“Of course, I knew.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You found out, didn’t you?” You exhaled through your nose.

“Was it because of what I said? About telling her?” Light did not respond. Parting from you and entering the driver’s seat, he did not regard you until he put the car into drive.

“Telling her was out of the question in the first place. The rest was a problem that solved itself. You know now, at least, of what would happen the moment you tell her a single thing. Risking her happiness, her and his life.”

“But not mine.” It slipped before you could even think about the words you just said. Light pondered them, eyes narrowing in thought as he weaved through traffic.

“But not yours. Never yours.” You did not know whether his words were the truth or more pretty lies, but you opted for the former. It brought you comfort, after all. 

“Do you like the idea of dark flowers with gold details?”  

[kikovalkiko]

Toxic II (Modern!Ivar X Reader)

A/N: Hi! I never thought there would be anyone that would seriously read the first part! Thank you so much for that and the feedback I got. That means a lot to me! This part is a bit longer than the last. I hope you enjoy! Let me know your thoughts! 

Warnings: Mafia, spying, angst, talking about death, a soft Ivar

Words: 2k

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gif is not mine

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POV Y/N:

The hot smoke of my cigarette filled my lungs as I inhaled while the cold morning breeze embraced me. I was standing on my balcony of my apartment. Thoughts still all over the place from the night before. As I watched the sunrise do it’s thing my phone started buzzing.

Did it work? 

Aethelwulf. He held me hostage when my family got killed. He told me it was for a greater purpose. I guess this shithole is what he ment. I didn’t had a choice. 

I tried to ignore the message and put my phone away. My phone started buzzing again.

Meet me at 9 pm at the bar Odin’s Cave.

Even though it was an unknown number I knew it was Ivar. My heart dropped at the thought that he might know about me and Aethelwulf. I immediately started panicking and lit another cigarette to cool myself down but it didn’t really helped.

As I finished my cigarette and ignored the non stop buzzing on my phone, my doorbell started ringing. I got up and went to open. Aethelwulf. 

“A little bird told me that you got invited to a little meeting tonight. Let’s get you ready”, Aethelwulf said. His bodyguards stepped in front of him and grabbed me on each side of my arm, leading me downstairs.

____________

POV Ivar:

I sat there in my office looking at the file my contact man did for me. Her face is so marvellous. I tried to remember every detail he found of her. Her birthday. Her education. Her hobbies. And most importantly her disappearance after the death of her whole family.

The door on my office opened. Hvitserk came in and told me that the driver is downstairs to bring us to the bar. We went down and we set off.

Half an hour later she came into the bar. Hvitserk and I sat in the darkest corner to prevent people hearing what we had to discuss. She looked so wonderful but so frightened. I could see her nervously looking for whoever sent her that message this morning. I could feel her heart stop when her eyes locked in with mine. I gestured her to sit in front of us and her movements followed as if she was in trance. Her eyes never leaving mine.

“I knew you would follow my friendly invitation”, I said when she sat down.

____________

POV Y/N:

I felt like I was frozen. His words hitting me like little knives.

“Guess, I didn’t have a choice, did I?” My hands were cold but sweating. 

“Do you want something to drink?”, Hvitserk asked and I immediately felt more comfortable. He sure is a player but he is lovely. Unlike Ivar.

“Yes, an irish whiskey please.” 

Hvitserk went to the bar to get the drinks. Ivar and I just sat there in silence. His eyes never left me. How can someone be so intimidating?

Hvitserk returned with the drinks and I took a sip right away, hoping that would loosen my body. I looked up at them and both of them kept staring at me.

“So, why did you order me here?”, I spoke softly, trying to break this loud silence. Ivar smirked. 

“I wanted to show you how powerful I am and that you don’t even have to think about lying to me”, he almost whispered. “I know everything about you, Y/N.” He leaned forward and rested his elbows on the table. I felt my body tense up.

“Your father was the best man of Ecbert, right?” I nodded, scared of what will follow. “But Ecbert got your family killed after Ecbert found out that your parents wanted to overthrow his reign.” Ivar’s eyes turned dark and I knew that this would not end well.

“Y/N, can you explain to me how you had to watch everyone in your family die when you weren’t even in your village at that time?” My heart dropped. He knew and I already said goodbye to my life in my head. 

“How come you tell us lies?”

“I- I didn’t- It’s not what it looks like. I swear.” I tried to form words to get me out of this shitty situation. I knew I was fucked either way. 

Hvitserk chuckled and playfully hit his brother. “Maybe we should show her what happens when you lie to us.” Ivar looked back at him and started smiling brightly.

“No, please.” I whimpered. I noticed a napkin in front of Ivar and took it. Thank god I always have a pen in my purse, which I took out. The brothers looked at me confused. 

I started to make up a story while I wrote something completely different on the napkin.

Aethelwulf took me hostage and wants me to spy on you. He put a tape recorder on me for this meeting with you. He and his spies are sitting in front of the bar in a black car. I want to help you!

As I continued telling that made-up story I turned the napkin to them. They read it and immediately checked what I wanted to tell them. They looked up at me and I pulled the top of my blouse apart to where you could see the cables. I continued putting my hair behind my ear so they could see the earpiece they put on me. Hoping no one except them sees it.

“And that’s how I watched everything even though I was on the other side if the country. They filmed everything.” I ended my story like that.

Hvitserk and Ivar looked at each other. I could tell they believed me.

“Y/N, why don’t you tell us everything you know about Aethelwulf back at our place?”, Hvitserk asked and Ivar looked at me nodding. I knew they wanted to help me. 

“Tell them yes. Go with them”, Aethelwulf told me through the earpiece. I slowly pointed to my ear, trying to tell them Aethelwulf said something.

“Yeah, sure. I’d love to.”

____________

POV Ivar:

As we arrived at our mansion I got my bodyguards to watch out for any spies. I really wanted to help Y/N break away from Aethelwulf.

We sat in the kitchen of our home and talked. I placed a notebook and a pencil in front of her and wrote out a question while Hvitserk told some stories about our childhood to show Aethelwulf that we trusted her.

Do you need anything from your apartment? We can send some of our men.

Hvitserk continued to talk about how father played with us in the garden.

I got a bag already packed for this. It’s in my bedroom inside my closet. I prepared everything days ago.

“Do you remember that, Ivar? That used to be so fun.” - “Oh yes, I always felt like a normal child with him”, I answered to keep anyone on the other side of Y/N’s earpiece from getting suspicious. 

I read the answer Y/N wrote down, looked up at her and nodded.

“If you excuse me for a second, please. I’ve gotta go to the bathroom”, I said while standing up. Hvitserk and Y/N nodded and kept a conversation rolling.

I went to Ubbe’s room and told him everything. “Go to the isolation room in the basement. There are jammer inside the wall. The connection to her devices will get lost. Then you can take them off and destroy them. I’ll get Hvitserk and go get her stuff”, Ubbe always had the best ideas. We went back as fast as possible.

“Hey Hvitserk, would you mind come with me? I want to get some snacks for us and our lovely guest.” - “Yes sure, see y’all soon.” Hvitserk and Ubbe went outside to the car. 

I looked at Y/N and she was playing with her hands on her lap. I could tell she was scared. Her eyes started tearing up, so I took her hand. She startled at my touch. 

“Y/N, would you like a tour through the mansion?” She nodded and quietly affirmed.

I showed her a few rooms before heading in the basement. I tried to calm her and showing that everything will be fine. She never let go of my hand.

“And this is our playroom. We have a pool table and…”

____________

POV Y/N:

As soon as Ivar opened the door to the playroom, besides where no pool table was, white noise came out of my earpiece and I couldn’t hear Aethelwulf. 

“Can you still hear him?” I shook my head in response. “Good. This is our isolation room. There are jammers in the walls. Every digital connection is now cut off.” Ivar came closer to me. “You can now take them off.”

My eyes started watering in relief. “Thank you”, I sobbed and hugged Ivar. He clearly was shocked but I didn’t care.

Ivar turned around so I could start taking off my clothes. Then we could get rid off the devices. As I stood there only in my lace underwear Ivar turned around without warning.

“That is a very delightful view”, Ivar chuckled when I gasped in shock.

“Sorry. Here take my hoodie.” He took his black hoodie over his shoulders and I felt somewhat disappointed when I saw a T-Shirt still covering his body. 

“Wanted to see something else?”, Ivar asked. Shit, I guess, he caught me looking. “No, I- I didn’t.” I looked away trying to seem unbothered.

“You can stay in my room, I got a big bed. Or you can stay in our guest room.” Is he telling me he wants me to stay with him?

“I think I’ll stay in the guestroom.” - “Alright. Let’s get rid of these, shall we?”

-2 hours later- 

Everything went well. We destroyed the devices and Ubbe and Hvitserk got my bag and even some more stuff from my apartment.

I layed in bed in the guestroom trying to sleep but I had too much on my mind. I had an own bathroom like every bedroom here. Ivar’s room was across from mine. To clear my mind I decided to jump under the shower, that always helps me.

When I got out of the shower I could feel myself getting more relaxed. I wrapped a towel around my body and started brushing my teeth and hair. I looked in the mirror. Now it’s time to finally get some sleep.

“Hello, love”, Ivar sat on top of my bed waiting for me. 

“Gods, Ivar. You scared me.” - “I’m sorry”, he chuckled. “Just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

Only ‘dressed’ in my towel I sat next to him. “Yeah, I am. Thank you for helping me. You have no idea for how long he made me his dog.” He smiled at me. Although he is said to be the the most dangerous man in Denmark and possibly in Europe, he is so soft. i never thought that about him until now. I could feel myself get lost in those eyes.

“I really want to kiss you right now, Y/N”, he whispered. My heart started beating fast and I didn’t know how to respond. 

Ivar put his hand on my cheek. “You are so beautiful”, he continued. His hand wandered from my cheek to the back of my head. His touch felt like fire crawling along my skin.

“Can I kiss you?”, he asked, still whispering. I couldn’t make up words but my body made my head nod. 

He pulled my head closer to his but stopped right before his face and put his other hand on the other side of my nape of my neck. I could feel him breathing out on my face. The air tensed up immediately. 

“I wanted to do this since I saw you in that tight black dress at the club last night.” Without losing anymore time his lips crushed hungrily on mine.

Tagged: @youbloodymadgenius​ Let me know if you want to be tagged :-)

[nightowlfandom]

Vampire! Kim Namjoon- A Little Game: Chapter 2

Hey guys, this is your reminder to please heed the warnings and stay indoors as much as you can. You are in my prayers and i hope this can make someone’s day.

MASTERLIST

Part 1

Leggo

...

Sleeping all day and staying up all night was a dramatic difference for you. Namjoon had suggested you train to do so if you were to survive as a regular everyday vampire. You were still a newborn fledging with no experience in this world, your mind was still human. You had yet to come to terms with everything. You didn’t want this. Yet here it was.

“ Here is your room.” one of the maids, Mona showed you to a bedroom. “I hope it’s to your liking.” 

The walls were painted an ivory white colored with gold trimmings around the windows and foyer. The rug was a red velvety color that contrastsed with the charcoal black canopy style bed frame. A mini fireplace was on the far left side of the room, the obvious source of the warmth in the air.. 

“Wow.” you crossed your arms, rocking back and forth shyly. “Didn’t have to go all out like this just for me.”

“It was Master Namjoon’s orders.”

You noticed she didn’t have any strange symbol on her like you did. You just had to ask.“Are you human?”

“Yes.” was her reply. “I have no interest in becoming one if that’s your question.”

“Oh no!” you quickly shook your head. “I was just wondering- and like…fuck I’m sorry. I probably sound like an asshole.”

“It’s quite alright.” she smiled. “I’m married with beautiful my 5 year old twins. I wouldn’t give that up for immortality at all. Not that I’m implying you wanted to give up your humanity. I don’t think any human truely does.” 

You took a good look at Mona. She had very long, honey brown hair secured in a long braid that hung down her back. She had bright green eyes, that looked almost artificial like a glass bottle. 

“I’ll be honest, I kinda wish it would have ended for me there. Can’t imagine how much shit I’m gonna have to go through for the next…forever.” you shook your head.

“Well if it’s any consolation. You are very blessed to have Namjoon as your sire. He is a great man. Be patient with him. If you need anything else, simply find me and I’ll be more than happy to assist.”

"Oh, thank you…"

"Since you seem to be one of Namjoon's more promising fledglings, I'll let you in on a little secret." She smiled warmly. "Beware of one of Namjoon's acquaintances. Roseline Petras."

"What about her?" you raised an eyebrow.

"…Let's just say she's the reason I have twins instead of triplets." she replied, her face falling significantly. "and the reason vampire laws have changed in the last one thousand years…and why Master Namjoon vowed to never mentor a fledging for as long as he lived…until now for some odd reason."

“What do you me-”

Without another word, she exited the room, leaving you to your own devices. You watched as she left, in shock. You sat at the edge of the bed, timidly looking around the room. Namjoon would soon summon you to meet him. What did Mona mean by that? Who was this Petra lady? It took just that little information to know that you already didn't like her or what she stood for…whatever the hell it was she stood for. You looked around the room, taking in your new surroundings. It had only been a few days, and yet it felt like the first day over and over again.

Before you could really relax, another maid, Maria appeared in the doorway. She had a mousy high voice, dyed pink hair and eyes so black they almost looked like Marbles. The epitome of a living doll. "Master Namjoon is ready for you now. I can take you to him if you'd like."

"Oh…thank you." you smiled, standing to your feet. You followed Maria out in the halls following her down the brightly lit hallways. "How long have you been living here?"

"Since birth. I work in the kitchens with my father. Master Namjoon was gracious enough to let us all live with him, even if we have to sleep during the say to fit his schedule. He is a gracious man. The world isn't so accepting like he is."

"Yeah…I believe it." You trailed off. "So all of you are human?"

"Not all of us…" she replied. "It's hard to explain just how many of us are so different.  My father is one of the many Gods Of Destruction, but he gave up that life. He now comes up with vampire safe versions of human foods and spends his free time gardening."

"Where was he when I was drinking cold and most-likely expired blood!?" you asked, making the young girl laugh. Though she passed it as a joke, you were absolutely dead serious. Worst day of your life...so far.

You both soon stopped at a pair of large wooden doors. "You're free to go in. No knocking required." she said without another word. She pranced away, leaving you by yourself.

"Alright…Here I go." you sighed. You grabbed onto the aged antique door handle and pushed the door open. You were welcomed by a room full of strangers. The only one you could recognize was Namjoon, who was casually flipping boredly through the pages of a book. You noticed the others around the room, they were all studying you…except for a woman who was staring out the window into space. Either that or she didn't acknowledge you right away.

The room looked like an old library archive, full of bookshelves full of old worn hardback copies of many different selections. 

"Y/N…glad to see you made it here in one piece." Namjoon looked up and threw the book down. "Come in, and close the door behind you please."

You did as you were told, but you could only stand there. Something told you to stay put. Don't make any moves…just stay right where you are and if you need to make a quick getaway you could.

"These are the friends I told you about." he motioned around the room. You took note of the seven other males and three women that stood before you. "They will be your teachers for the next few months."

"That's a lot of names I have to remember." you tried to joke, mainly to calm yourself down. The girl who was staring out the window must have snapped back to reality because she gasped the minute she heard your voice. You were surprised to see milky white eyes stare in your direction.

"There she goes…psycho." one of the women who had been sitting down mumbled. She had long blonde hair and sit poised in an armchair, one leg crossed over the other.

This white haired, white eyed woman didn't seem to care for other girls remarks because she quite literally floated towards you. Her feet lifted of the ground, hair fanning all over the place as she crossed the room. No one else seemed f

"Blessed be, little fledging. A new life has been brought to our world." she grabbed your hand. "How joyous of days!”

"Blissa, I think you're scaring her." Namjoon laughed, seeing you look at him for some sort of help. "Y/N It's okay, you can trust these people. I trust them with my life."

"Well…most of us at least." a male who had been sitting at a piano corrected him. He was dressed all in white, like an angel. "Can't say the same for some of us."

This didn't seem to faze this Blissa character, so she must have not been the one to be weary of. You suddenly remember what Mona said earlier…a woman named Roseline Petras. Suddenly, your eyes darted to blonde, sitting with her chin rested in her palm as if she was bored.

Not her a voice in your head said. The one next to her they whispered.

Blissa's smile fell…but only for a second. You probably wouldn't have caught onto it had you not been paying attention. You raised an eyebrow in confusion. You didn’t want to speak up, but something told you she was the one who put that voice in your head.

"Is something wrong my child?" she smiled, tilted her head to the side. You noticed her moving her eyes to the right, as if silently telling you to follow the direction of where she was looking. Her milky colored irises, dart once more before you understood.  You finally caught on and followed her gaze to a short, jet black haired girl, typing away on her phone.

Yes, that one, that's Roseline.

Blissa left your side and began making haste back towards the window.

Best not to tell anyone I can speak to you just yet.

"Elva! Roseline!…don't be rude." Namjoon snapped to blonde.

"…Alright alright, sorry!" the blonde sighed, standing to her feet. The other one just didn’t look up, instead she leaned back in her head.  The blonde strode up to you, almost in slow motion. "I'm Elvalina. You can call me Elva, most of my friends do…no offense but…are those the only clothes you have?"

"…Uh yeah," you answered awkwardly. You had realized you had been wearing the same shirt and jeans for about 4 days. Not the best way to make a first impression now that you thought about it.  

"…I have so much to teach you." she put a hand on your shoulder. "When I'm finished with you, you'll be the hottest fledging anyone's ever seen. "

"Hey! Let some of us meet her first before you claim her as your bestie!"

"SHUT UP HOSEOK!" she glared at the guy who was casually flicking a light on and off. "She's the first girl I've seen around you guys in a while, don't ruin this for me!"

"Nice to meet you all." you bowed respectfully. You had no idea how this fledgling thing worked, so you used human decency instead. "I'm sorry in advanced if I take a while to learn."

"This one…I like her." Elva wrapped an arm around your shoulder. “Politeness...I dig it!”

……

"Is it always this cold outside?" you stood outside with Seokjin.

"No, our senses pick up on temperatures a lot differently than humans. You'll eventually get used to to it." He replied. "Now, what do you see?"

You tried to look around the forest, but it was pitch black outside. You couldn't see a thing. "It's too dark to see. You could barely make out your own shoes on the ground." you sighed with defeat. "Maybe I just can't do it." you looked down sheepishly.

"Hey." he reached out to touch your shoulder. "It's hard at first, yeah. But you can't beat yourself up, you're a newborn fledgling. It's normal for you." he comforted. "Here, close your eyes."

"You aren't gonna scare me are you?" you asked suspiciously. Every time someone told you to close your eyes, it ended with you almost peeing yourself.

"Trust me."

"Alright, alright." you closed your eyes as he instructed. "Now what?"

"Picture the space around you as if it were daytime."

"What? How do I do that?"

"Just try."

With another sigh, you tried to recreate the image in your head, only with the sun rays peeking out from the sky. You attempted to recreate the dirt path with dead leaves and wet logs from the morning dew sticking. You pictured the warmth from the damp air against your skin, despite being cold.

"Do you have it?" came Seokjin's voice.

"I think so." you responded. You opened your eyes only to be welcomed to a crystal clear view before you. The shadows casted from the tall trees were no longer shadows, but giant pine trees. The previously bleak sky had turned into a cloudless, star speckled painting and most importantly, the moon which had previously been nothing more than a standard crescent, was the focal point of everything you could see. It was exactly like a photograph. "Woah."

"You did it didn't you? Can you see it?" you turned to Seokjin who wore a smile. "Everything's so clear isn't it." he asked. "It always it once you complete the change."

Even as a human in the day time, the forest didn't look this clear. Nothing did.

"Now…what do you hear?"

Upon hearing him ask you, you were welcomed by all sorts of sounds, so many at one time. "Everything." you replied. "It's kind of overwhelming."

"Good, you're making process. Namjoon will be pleased." he replied. "You're learning quickly."

"Good to know." you said awkwardly.

"….I know this isn't going to be the most helpful or assuring, but Namjoon is the most trustworthy man I know. I've known him for many years, longer than your great great great grandparents have been alive. Maybe even longer."

"Yeah and I'm blessed to have him as my sire? I got this talk already." you crossed your arms. "I'm just…not ready for this yet." you sighed. "I don't know how long it'll take me to get used to this."

"For some it takes all their lives. Lucky for us we have forever." he winked. "You don't have to go through this alone. If anything happens, call Old Man Seokjin." he winked.

"I'll remember that." you replied.

… (The next Night)

To say you were surprised to see Elva and Blissa standing over you.

"OH MY-" you rolled out of bed, falling on your back. "OOF-" you grunted, even though you felt no pain. "Where did you guys come from!?"

"We were here the whole time. You're a heavy sleeper. Did you know that?" Blissa smiled.

" I do now." you heaved yourself off the floor. "Not that I'm not thrilled to see you guys, but what are you doing here?"

"It's just about to be dark and we have loads to do. So get cha' ass up, fix your hair and put this on." a shopping back was hauled in your direction, courtesy of Elva.

"What exactly are we doing?"

"Seduce and glamour." Blissa said. "Not exactly on the lesson plan but fun to know nonetheless, wouldn't you agree?"

“And what better way to test these abilities then a night on the town. Trust me, you’ll be one hundred percent safe with us.”

"….Sure." you trailed off. "Let's go I guess."

....

(How are you guys dealing with this social distancing thing? Let’s talk about it! Feel free to send me a message.)

[supeson]

dreams

part one, part two, part three, part four, part five, part six, part seven, part eight, part nine , part ten, part eleven, part twelve, part thirteen

“Ma, I know! Please!” You roll your eyes as you talk to your mother on the phone. A black Lexus pulls up and you silently thank whatever above. “I’ll get it done, alright? You know I will. Now look, I gotta go, my ride is here. Alright, love you too. Bye.”

You slide into the back seat and rub your hands together. “Alright Alfred, this is the part where he kills me for reals, right? No more pussyfooting around. I was just talking to my ma, and I told her I loved her, so we’re all square.” He just looks at you via the rear view mirror. “Okay, okay, I’m done. No need to ready your throwing tomatoes. But, can you at least tell me why I have to come to the Manor today?”

“Master Bruce has something he would like to show you,” The butler says cryptically, braking the car to let someone cross. 

“Great, that’s not reassuring at all.” You cross your arms and look out the window for the rest of the ride. 

                                                              *

Even in early November, the Manor looks beautiful. The fall foliage is out in full swing, oranges, reds, and yellows exploding across the front lawn. You gotta hand it to Alfred, he’s one hell of a gardener. Crossing the threshold of the house doesn’t scare you anymore. If anything, it just makes you even more tired than you always are. 

You haven’t really seen Bruce since the whole Joker thing. There were check-ins here and there, of course. Dick popped by a couple of times, but really, you were alone. You appreciated the time to digest and recuperate from the ordeal, of course, but also couldn’t help feeling an acute sense of loneliness. You couldn’t really tell anyone what had happened that night, aside from having a scrape with the world’s loosest screw and living to tell the tale. So when he texted you, asking you to come over, you felt relieved. 

You follow the butler into the dining room and frown. “Are we? Eating again? I’m sorry, I had some fries from BatBurger earlier, so I’m all-”

He simply moves the hands and steps aside as it slides to the side. You look at him and he just nods, sweeping one had to the now-open door. You huff but go through the door. Alfred hasn’t steered you wrong yet, why would he start now?

                                                               *

There are no railings for the stairs. 

“Stupid billionaire slash vigilante. Can’t even put in a fucking railing for his own stupid stairs going down to his stupid lair. Can’t wait ‘til I hear he broke his ass going down the stairs or some shit. Would definitely deserve it, stupid bastard...” You continue to grumble all the way down the stairs, going slowly. You almost make it to the bottom, until you trip on nothing, and launch yourself down the last four steps. Your eyes squeeze shut on response and your arms come up to brace yourself for a fall that never comes. You look up into blue eyes and a small, soft smile. 

“Karma has preemptively gotten you on this one, it seems.” Bruce helps you right yourself, then takes a step back. "This is the Batcave."

You look past him to see glass cases with costumes, a wall of gadgets, a giant penny, and hell even a T-Rex display from a museum, decorating the cave. The computer is shut down, but you can hear the faint hum of all the technology in the room. You're in awe a little bit, and Bruce just watches you. You walk around him and inspect the little worktable he has set up in front of his gadget wall. You reach your hand out to touch something, but yank it back just as quickly. "Nothing in here is gonna like, get me, right? I'm not about to choose the weapon that you'll hunt me down with?"

He comes up behind you and runs his hands over some devices. "You are actually. I recommend the thermite grenade. Place it on your heart, wait a couple of seconds, then you're gone. Almost painless."

You whip around and whack him on the arm. There's barest trace of a smile on his face. "Shut up! You're not supposed to feed into my jokes! I hate you!"

Bruce rolls his eyes but follows as you continue to wander around the Cave, touching all the bits and baubles. You go to sit on top of the Batmobile, but stop. He raises an eyebrow in question and you shrug. "I don't wanna dent the hood."

He lets out a genuine laugh at that. "Trust me, it would take more than your weight to crush the hood. A supercharged Bane has been flipped onto the top of that car and didn't leave a scratch."

"How many people have you fucked in the Batmobile?" As soon as the words leave your mouth, you freeze, and wish your brain's filter would have caught that before it got out. You hear a heavy sigh behind you and try to backpedal. Badly. "I mean, you must have, right? You were young and dumb once right? Or as dumb as Batman can get, I guess. It's not impossible to imagine-"

"One. One person." And he wants to leave it at that, you can tell.

"Sorry." Bruce just rubs your arm, trying to be comforting, but falling flat. You suck in a breath and ask the question that's been gnawing at the back of your mind. "Why are you showing me all this? What's the point? It doesn't really change anything between us."

His face pinches up. "It does. It drastically changes things between us. You know my most well-kept secret now. Hell, you figured out that all of my kids are vigilantes as well. How does that not change things?"

His tone has risen, just a tad, but you still notice it and shrink back, flinching a little. He sees of course, and immediately steps back. You won't look at him as you speak.

"Look, man, I just don't get why I have to be all balls deep, all of a sudden. It sheds some light on some things, yea, but it's not like like I'm gonna go out and tell the press. You know I won't. And I'm not gonna take this as some call to action, or whatever, to put on some spandex and start fighting. I'm good, actually. I don't want to do that. Gotham has enough going on without adding some anxiety ridden nobody to the mix. I want to go home, eat some ice cream for dinner, and maybe make plans to see my boyfriend next week. If we're even still together..." Your ears are burning as soon as you utter the word 'boyfriend'.

"You're right." Your head snaps up, looking directly into Bruce's, the blue piercing right through you. "I'm pushing you, to see what you really want. I wouldn't want you on a patrol with me anway. Everyone I get involved with seems to be drawn into this life. Sooner or later they put on a mask, and go out and fight crime, and sometimes-" It's the first time you've ever seen him falter. "Sometimes they die. And I don't think I could bear to see you die. Especially at the hands of one of the many villains who think they can take Gotham for themselves."

There's a tense, silent second between the two of you. Bruce looks as stoic as ever, but you can see the tension in hs shoulders, and the glint of worry in his eyes. It's the most emotion he's ever expressed to you, and your eyes are wide. You take a step forard and hesitantly wrap your arms around him. The tension dissipates from his shoulders as he slowly reciprocates. You're silent for a while, just standing there and hugging each other.

It's muffled into his turtleneck, but he can still hear you. "Trust me, I'm never gonna wanna face the Joker ever again. Never fucking mind the rest of the maniacs you punch in the face daily."

A low laugh rumbles his chest. "Fair enough. Do you want to go upstairs?"

"Yea...it's fucking freezing down here. You might be the night, but I prefer the afternoon." You take his hand and start leading him to the stairs. "You're going up first because there aren't any hand rails."

A voice sounds from above. "Finally. Alfred made dinner and made me come get you. Glad you decided to keep it in your pants, Bruce."

You look up to see a figure in the doorway, leaning against the frame. Bruce frowns again and takes the lead, seemingly forgetting that he's holding your hand as he quickly strides toward the figure.

"Tim!"

[achtung-attitude]

BEVERLY HILLS.

“Say aah,” Trish says, holding a gilded spoon, full of soup. 

“Aaah--,” Shizuka replies, opening her mouth, allowing Trish to feed her. She closes her mouth and swallows the soup, then looks out at the beautiful, lush garden around her. Her eyes and mouth are the only parts of her body that are moving. The rest of her lies motionless on an outdoor sofa, propped up on soft cushions on the veranda of the C-King mansion. 

“Is it good?” Trish asks, sweetly. 

“Mm, it’s good!” 

There is a sudden screech of tires, and they both look over at Jerome sitting a short distance away. In his hands is a remote controller, not unlike the device used by Ricardo Cone to control his drone. But this device is not controlling a drone. The vehicle it is controlling pulls up a few feet away from them, coming to a smooth stop in the gravel courtyard. It’s a real car: a real, life-sized car of Italian make, with a gasoline engine and controlled via a tall, electronic antenna. “What you think?” Jerome calls out. “Pretty cool, right?”

The passenger door opens and Kilo steps out of it. “That is really dangerous.”

Jerome grins. “Yeah? And…?”

“... And it’s cool.” Kilo concedes and moves towards them, his feet crunching on the gravel. “Are you still paralyzed?” he exclaims, gesturing at Shizuka, “It’s been three days already, how long she gonna be stuck like this?”

“There’s no way to know,” Trish replies, “Stand abilities will always surprise you, no matter how many you face.”

“I can move a little bit already!” Shizuka claims, “I can lift my arms a bit, and wiggle my toes and everything! I just hope I get full mobility back soon. Aaaah-- Mm… I can’t find my mom stuck to a couch. Ugh, I’d hate to have to call Josuke-bro to come fix me…!”

“Josuke?” Kilo asks, sitting on the lawn chair next to the sofa. 

“Mm, my brother. Aaaah-- He’s a Stand user too, he’s able to heal any injury by bringing you back to an earlier state.”

“... You don’t think a guy like that would be useful to have brought along?”

“Well, you know, I wanted to--”

“Open,” says Trish. 

“O-Aaaah…”

While she eats, Trish butts in. “I’m sure you have your reasons for wanting to do things by yourself. And anyway, I’m sure we won’t have to bother your brother. With the progress you’re making, you should be right as rain within just a few days.”

“Mmm! Did you mean it when you said you’d stay with me until I get better?”

“Of course! It’s the least I can do.”

“Well, ain’t that touching,” Jerome says, lumbering towards the couch. He sits down on the couch just behind Trish and stares at her. She, in response, looks away shiftily. “I suppose doin’ that good deed makes up for how y’all ditched me back at the show, huh? After all that shit ‘bout keepin’ you waitin’? Oh, it makes it alllll better. Forget about the months o’ marketin’ and keepin’ shit under wraps, oh naaah, it’s allllllll good!”

“... One of my fans got kidnapped by a Stand! What was I supposed to do?” 

“Do you know what my managers said after you pulled that shit?!!”

“You all seem in high spirits,” says a new voice.

The four of them jump in their seats before  turning to look behind them to the voice. Shizuka gasps. Kilo gets up immediately.. “Moya!” Shizuka cries. 

Moya Pezzente steps out from the house, onto the veranda where Shizuka and her friends are gathered. “And who the fuck IS THIS!?” Jerome storms, “Who you think you are comin’ into my house!?!” 

“Keep back, Jerome,” Kilo growls, “She’s no thug. She’s like us.” He and Trish bring out their Stands. Moya follows suit.

“Waitwaitwaitwait don’t!” Shizuka cries, shaking her head. “She’s not here to fight! …You’re not right?”

“No, I’m not.”

“See? She just wants to talk! … Right?”

Moya chuckles. “You know, somehow I knew you wouldn’t leave. Nice to see that worked out well for you.” 

“I don’t trust you,” Kilo says bluntly. SATURN BARZ glares at her from over his shoulder and snarls. 

“Well, that’s too bad,” Moya replies, “Guess I can’t blame you. Would it help if I told you I helped protect y’all after your haphazard bullshit nearly got you killed…? No, I guess it wouldn’t. If you can’t trust me, why not trust her?” She points to Shizuka, who looks at Kilo pleadingly.

For a moment, he thinks. “... Put yo Stand away. Then, you can talk.”

Moya raises her hands, and WITCH MOUNTAIN disappears. In tense silence, she comes around the couches to stand in front of them directly. “I came to warn you. You’re not just dealing with a bunch of thugs.”

“You came to talk,” Kilo says, putting his own Stand away, “so talk.”

Moya takes a deep breath, as if she’s ready to unburden herself. “The organisation I work undercover for is called the Congregation,” she declares, sparing little time. “It’s wrong to think of them like an ordinary gang, it’s more of a corporation, formed by the union of three individual gangs, working as equals. They don’t appear in the news, they don’t tag graffiti on walls or freeways. They don’t have to. The entire city is their territory. They’ve made subordinates of almost every street gang in town, and maintains a general status quo of petty crime and bloodshed to cover up their own activities.

“La Phantasmagoria, the gang I’m under, is the drug wing, based in East LA. We move heroin, coke, meth and whatever else from south of the border, then pass it on to our subordinate gangs while taking a cut of the profits. That’s how we make the majority of our funds. Most of the sub gangs used to be independent outfits that made their own product, but under the Congregation, that’s forbidden. We only peddle. Some go-getters still try, of course. But that’s where the Daesang come in.”

“Assassins. The organisation’s execution squad,” Trish says

Moya nods, confirming her suspicion. “If they get contracted by one of our clients, or the organisation itself need somebody dead, then the Daesang are the ones to pull it off. They’re all Koreans, and they have a hold of Koreatown and most of central LA. Their leader is named All-Kill, and they’re some of the most dangerous people I’ve ever met… Including your mom, Shizuka.”

Shizuka swallows, but doesn’t interrupt. Jerome does. “Maaaaaan, what the hell you gone and dragged me into, Kilo?” 

“Jerome. Not now.” Kilo says.

Moya continues, “Brother Dust is responsible for bringing these people together, him and his gang, the original Congregation, operating out of Compton. He’s the man with the master plan, and his people deal in secrets. When a celebrity gets drunk and totals a new car, or a local politician ends up killing a prostitute, they turn to Dust. He cleans up the mess, and in return, he places them firmly in his pocket. Almost everyone in the LA underworld owe him something, and none of them would ever dare roll on him.”

“Why are you telling us this?” Kilo demands. 

“Because you, all of you, are on their radar now. Your recklessness has borne fruit that I can’t get you out of anymore. They’re coming for you. Maybe tomorrow, maybe next week… maybe today.”

“We can take ‘em, whoever they are,” Kilo asserts.

“Like you took him last time?”

Kilo’s freezes, his eyes go wide. “... What did you say?”

“If the Congregation is after you, then he’ll be the first in line. He lost a lot of cred during that fiasco in Compton. He’ll be eager to make it right, first by killing you, then by--” Then she stops talking because Kilo storms towards her and grips her shoulder hard. 

“Tarantula?!” he shouts, his blood boiling, “Where is he?! WHERE IS TARANTULA?!”

“Kilo, don’t!” Shizuka cries.

“On his way!” Moya shouts back, pushing Kilo off of her, “You have, at best, another day before he finds you. When he does, he’ll bring the full force of the Congregation on you. And some of these guys, I don't even know what they can do! It seems impossible for me to comprehend it!! All I know is they’re never going to stop! This has officially stopped being a game, you understand?! You need to pull your shit together, or else--!”

“Or else what, Hermana?”

[eyesofmist]

A Good Story Well told; a Story about a Traumatic Experience,Justified Hatred, Redemption and Love against all Odds

This post refers to a TV drama called Fatmagul, but it doesn’t really matter if you have seen it or not because the post is more about story telling and how good writing is based on details, how one apparently small detail may say or suggest much more than it seems. This is something good writers know well.

This story is about a pretty young girl called Fatmagul, who is going to marry her handsome boyfriend, Mustafa, a blue-eyed fisherman who looks like a Prince Charming. Well, he is bulding a house himself, brick by brick, the house where the couple will live when they get married. When he leaves his girl because of his misguided sense of pride and honour after she is raped by three men, he burns their house down.

His mother even says to Fatmagul that she is nothing but ashes to him any more and Fatmagul says later that Mustafa burned their house, their future and also herself when he did that.

As a result, she gets a husband she doesn't want, a husband she despises and hates. Telling why she marries this man she despises isn’t really necessary for the porpuse of this post but you can read why here.

They run away from their village and the scandal that follows the tragedy and he rents a house that, of course, doesn't belong to him, that he didn't build, that is not his. A house where Fatmagul has to live whith some members or her own family and also Kerim's adoptive mother. A house where he doesn't sleep and where he doesn't eat because he is not accepted there by his wife and he complies with her wishes. He sleeps and eats in a shed that is in the garden, a barren garden without flowers.

In the picture above there’s another beautiful detail, Kerim and Fatmagul’s brother are bringing their belongings into the rented house (only Fatmagul’s family have brought things, Kerim hasn’t brought anything and is with her family, he’s there in hostile territory, so to speak). As he unloads the objects she shouts at him ‘don’t touch that’ and runs to prevent him from touching her hope chest, the one where she still keeps her trousseau. Mustafa built this chest for her and it contains the things she kept for her wedding with her beloved.

All the family members work to turn that rented house into a place to live, perhaps a home, although it seems unlikely because everything is misery there after what happened. Fatmagul hates her husband's guts and shows this at the slightest chance, not the way we are accostumed to in most TV shows or movies but whith real viciousness. Some of the things she says feel like a slap on the face even to a spectator. Not that he doesn't deserve it, because he didn't rape her but didn't stop it either, which is disgusting enough. The fact is that neither him not Fatmagul remember if he did it or not and this is not clear until one of his former friends confirms he didn't do it. Even when this is confirmed she finds it impossible to believe him. He is guilt- ridden anyway because he didn't stop it, which is enough for him to feel like shit.

He can only look through the shed’s window longing to see his wife inside the house, cooking in the kitchen or studying in the living room, there’s no place for him in that “home”.

Anyway, I got derailed, LOL, because the detail I wanted to comment is about the house, just the house, but its so poignant and poetic to see these two looking at each other through its windows without meeting each other’s gaze, like strangers with broken hearts who have only misery in common. Whenever he tries to approach her, she averts her eyes and turns her back on him. He is the living reminder of what she suffered.

Well, we have this house that Kerim rents, which is not his, just like this wife that is not his and this “relationship” he neither built nor owns. And this is just an old dilapidated house, not like the brand new one Mustafa was building for Fatmagul and him in a beautiful sunny place. It's always cloudy here, it's cold and the house is old, ugly and in very bad condition.

All the family works to make the house habitable, they paint the walls, they cook every day, etc., but the one who mends broken things is Kerim. If anything is broken or doesn't work he fixes it. So, little by little the house starts to look different; there's a new floor, new panels for the shed walls, even the shed looks habitable although it looked absolutely awful the first night he slept there. The shed was by far what was in worst condition at first,which is quite telling.

Only looking back in time did I get this, this man, Kerim, fixes BROKEN THINGS. He didn't start from the first stone to build that little ramshackle house like Mustafa did with his new one, which was so near his parents' house. Kerim owns nothing, he doesn't even have parents, only a generous woman who raised him when he was abandoned as a kid, and he has a rented house, a “fake” family and a wife who doesn't belong to him.

He has this wife who is “temporary”, like the rented house, because he intends to go away as soon as the family is settled and she counts the days until he leaves for good because she can't even stand breathing the same air as him, as she puts it in one of the “cruel” sentences she throws at him. They both agree that the sooner he goes away the better. Until then, he fixes things in that ugly little house where he can't sleep or eat and hardly ever enters.

As I see it, all the family members contribute to Fatmagul's recovery, giving colour and warmth to that little house and also to her life that is now so cold, miserable and barren. And this feels real because she needs all of them to help her heal. The family's support is essential.

Mustafa built a house himself in his parents' grounds for him and his fiance, but she didn't take part in its construction and neither did his parents or her family. This time it is different because all of them take part in making the rented house into “a home”? I don't know yet, because I haven't finished watching the episodes, but it feels like hope.

Everything is “rented”, temporary, in another city, unwanted because none of them wanted to leave to another city, another house and another life. But here we have a girl who is absolutey broken and was an innocent virgin in love with her fiance Mustafa so little time before. First she was passive and took no part in the construction of her future and let Mustafa take the initiative in everything, later she takes the reins of her life and takes no shit from anyone any more. She studies, she starts to work and learns to drive. The girl turns into a woman and her “temporary” (“rented”) husband has patience, the patience needed to mend things or to turn ugly things into something beautiful. I'm talking about objects, but can he do the same with other types of broken things? Only time will tell because this is slowburn at its best and nothing is rushed.

How can a girl recover from a traumatic experience in no time and just because of the magic of love? Here the answer is that she can't. She needs professional help to recover and she is the only one who can start to heal from the tatters of her life when she finds the will and the strength to do so. The others can only offer their empathy, their love and support to help her.

Love doesn't conquer all and doesn't wipe her trauma with its magic. It takes hard work to fix someone as broken as she is and her traumatic experience is not just a plot device, it's taken seriously by the writers.

Anyway, we have two men here, one who loved his pure future bride and was going to have a brand new house but burned both to ashes when she was “tainted” by the evil actions of others. On the other hand, we have another who chooses to fix things and then unwittingly falls in love with a girl that has been “defiled”. He was a witness to her worst night that ended up being his worst too. In a way, she is someone else's girl and she is neither “new”, nor in “good condition”, just like the sad little house.

Unlike Mustafa's love, which didn't survive misfortune, Kerim loves her even though she was raped by three other men and everyone knows this, even though she is still in love with another man (Mustafa), even though she hates him and can't or won't forgive him and she doesn't trust him or believes him when he says he never touched her. And he feels guilty anyway because he didn't stop what happened. Kerim loves Fatmagul but doesn't expect to be loved back, not even to be forgiven, he loves her anyway and doesn't run away from the pain of being hated by the one you love. He will endure as long as she needs him. He is also willing to let go if it's better for her but ,as he says, he will never stop loving her.

This wouldn’t be the same in Western countries where a rape victim wouldn't be seen as tainted, and where girls don't wait until marriage to sleep with men, but it has a meaning in other parts of the world where some traditional patriarchal customs haven’t still disappearead as they should. Anyway, wherever you go, there’s still a long way to go until equality between men and women is really conquered. Even in Western countries many girls don’t denounce when they are raped because they fear to be under public scrutiny and that they may not be believed. They also fear their aggressors’ reactions ather the denounce or what may happen if they aren’t sent to jail.

Mustafa was in a hurry to build the new house and get married to his beautiful pure bride, but Kerim has all the patience in the world to live in rented and “shelter” houses that belong to others, with a group of family members around them, deprived of love or a woman's touch, and he fixes things gradually, step by step. It’s more about little details than great gestures.

Nearly a year passes by and he still endures, her contempt eats at him but he endures. Not only does he mend the little house but also the shed where he sleeps because his life is broken too, like the shed, due to what happend that night but also because of a terrible past he hasn't overcome. 

Eventually, she starts to trust him but even when she starts to fall in love with him, she can’t stand a man’s touch, not even his, because of what happened to her and can’t wipe from her mind. That night hovers over their heads like a curse, it’s a curse for both of them.

Little details are important though, like seeing him plant flowers in their house's flower beds when they get to have a home of their own, or like her giving him a flower pot with forget-me-nots she planted herself when they are separated.

This is a man who did something terrible, works hard to redeem himself and on the way falls in love with a girl but doesn't get forgiveness or love just because this is his heart's desire. Somewhat like Sandor and Kylo, because they all did something really terrible, it's not just a trite plot device or a trope. As far as I can see, this is treated well in Fatmagul TV show, I hope it's treated well in ASOIAF if it's ever finished, and my wishful thinking wants to believe it may be treated well in Star Wars.

[zane-rapha-the-mun]

72 for the 73rd Try(One shot) by Zane Rapha

~~~~Note~~~~ Warning this is an 18+ story There are detailed depictions of abuse, verbal, physical and sexual. Do not read if you are sensitive to extreme content!

   As he awoke, the days started like every other day. Waking up at 6:30 am, putting on work close, go to work, return to his room and await dinner, sleep, rinse and repeat.     He got up from his dirty and uncomfortable bed as the exposed springs cut into his, blood and grime covered skin, like paper. He moved to the grungy bathroom, where a broken toilet seat and a mold covered shower, clearly unused for years. He stood in front of the filthy cracked mirror, his sandy blond hair matted and blackened from the lack of showering and brushing. His naked body covered in dirt from years of working outside and it was thin from starvation, covered in scars, cuts, and bruises. He turned the tap on and drank from the faucet using his hands to scoop up the gray water to his mouth. He then went back to his room and went over to a bedside table and pulled out a drawer that had nothing but a set of clothing in it. A very stained white button-up shirt and a pair of stained and ripped up white cargo pants. Once he put on his close, he exited his room into the large hallway, home of most of all the workers, at least the ones forced to work. All of the windows in the house were blacked out and reinforced with steel bars, all the door frames and doors were also reinforced with either with metal sheets or strips. He tiptoed down the dark and dirty hallway, to the back way past the washers and dryers, slowly sneaking to try and move past the maids as they worked in the kitchen.     The kitchen was large and mostly clean. The Maids were preparing the meats on the counters along the wall next to the stove and sink, but the large bar in the middle of the kitchen was covered in close that was being folded.     "Señor Ace, your a Cena? ¿Qué quieres para cenar?" Asked one of the Maids as she folded laundry on a counter. Ace smiled at her before whispering.     "Cualquier is fine." She gave him a confused look before nodding and handing him a dirty bottle of water.     "Recuerda! One. Pure. Days." She said before he put it in his pocket.     "Gracias! Oh, y es, Recuerda, uno por día, Remember, One per day." He said, trying his best to explain.     "Sí. One. Per. Day." She replied. He gave her a soft smile and nodded yes to her.     He then went out the reinforced back door to wait for the other workers with the guards. They dressed in black suits, and most had skulls or tears tattoos on their face and neck.     Sitting, taking brakes, and speaking was not allowed. He knew the rules well, but along with the other workers was a small child, about his age when he was forced into this life.     The kid was maybe six or seven, had blue eyes, dark brown curly hair, and alabaster skin, wearing a dark red long-sleeve turtleneck shirt and navie blue sweatpants.     "Stop it, please! I want to go home. Please let me go home. I want to go back to my mommy. I want my mommy, please!" The boy cried out. He said nothing, as he knew if he spoke the guards would beat him. The kid didn't however, he begged and pleaded for his freedom and that he wanted to go see his mother. The guards soon got annoyed with the child's incessant whining. It was normal for someone to be scared, but they didn't care. The guards beat the child until his shrieking became quite sobs.     The boy laid on the ground now battered and bruised, crying in pain. "Why do you hurt me?" the child asked quietly.     He took sympathy on the child and offered a hand to the boy, as he remembered when he came here no one offered to help him out of fear. Soon a fellow worker, an older man that knew him from all the years of working together, kneeled down to the child and whispered.     "Ace want's to help you hun, it's okay to trust him." The boy lifted his head up and looked at Ace for a moment before taking his hand. The look on the child's face was that of fear, he knew how hard it was to trust when you have been beaten into silence. He gave the kid a soft smile and picked the little guy up off the ground and put him on his back, he then tied a piece of cloth around them to keep the child on his back. When he returned to his work, he picked up the rusty machete and tried to show the boy how to cut the plants with it. He spent most of the day teaching him how to use all the tools and what to do with them. On occasion, he would slip the child some fruit from the garden, making sure it was not rotted or had bugs on it.     At the end of the day, before he walked back to the house, the child asked him why he never spoke. He knew not to answer as the guards could still hear him. He placed a finger over the kid's mouth shushing him before giving him a reassuring smile. He then slipped into a dark space between two large rocks that were at the back of the garden, the roots had eaten away the stone. There was a small tree in the back of the gap, and he pulled out a dirty bottle of water from his pocket. Pouring some on it before offering the rest of the water to the boy. The boy looked away making a yuck face before taking it anyways. He smiled at the boy and made his way back out, before watching the other workers putting the equipment away, then leaving to go back to the house.     When it was time to return to his sleeping area, he took the child and snuck him past the guards to his room quietly and set him down on the floor. He then walked out to the Maids.     "Help him, please." He said to them before one translated it to the others in Spanish. They soon rushed to find things to help the kid before he returned to the room. The boy then looked up at him as he entered the room.     "Why are they so quick to help you?" The boy asked.     "Because I'm willing to help them with anything they need, and they feel that it is only right to help." He explained softly his voice was weak and sounded hoarse. The boy looked surprised that he spoke to him but now understands why he never did.    One of the Maids returned with a first aid kit and began to clean him up and bandage his wounds. They were not allowed to help, but they knew that Ace would not have asked if the kid didn't need it. The boy continued to ask questions, but he was never answered.     After the child was cleaned and the Maids left, then he showed the child a small hole under the boards where he could escape.     "We have to wait until they are coming for you, that is when the guards are inside." He explained. The boy eyed the hole apparently ready to leave as he curled up into a ball in the corner.     In the midst of the night, while the boy was sleeping, a man came to collect the kid riding in an all black van with tinted windows. Ace woke the boy than in a rush stashed the boy under the floorboards quickly before handing the boy a note.     'Now is your only chance. Run into the woods off the side of the house. Keep going south. There is a compass under a log marked 7. Don't look back.' Was scribbled on the piece of paper in what resembled a child's handwriting. He then took haste to sealed the boards backup before the child could ask anything else. He ran to the bathroom and began running the water in the sink before he ran back out shutting the door and sitting on his bed. The spring cutting into his backside making him jump a little.     The man slammed the door open as he stomped into the bedroom. He had brown hair, green eyes, olive skin, and was wearing an old worn, and tattered leather jacket, a white stained t-shirt, and black denim jeans, with a PD badge, clipped to his belt.     "WHERE IS HE ACE?!" The man shouted.     The Older boy just tiredly glared at him and pointed at the bathroom. The man then fumed at this and made it clear that the water was for once a week use only and that the child was using too much. When no one replied he slammed open the door and investigated the bathroom. Soon after he found no one in the bathroom. He stomped out to the hall muttering to himself before picking up a pipe and returning to the room; then he hit Ace on the side of his leg as hard as he could, breaking it. In a roar, he Yelled in Ace's face.     "You fucking lying little piece of shit!... After all, I have done for you. You still play the same fucking tricks! You're not going to tell me where he is, are you? Well, I guess you haven't suffered enough to know your place." The man then turned to the guard.     "Take his doors, his bed, his close, anything with value, and make sure Kyle gets to have fun with him. I want this one to bleed this time." The man commanded only to get a smirk from the guard as he waved his hand to include the rest of the guards.     They tore apart his room taking everything. He moved from the bed to the floor allowing them to take it along with the other stuff. Soon after the twin walked in, well-dressed in a gray suit, with the same short brown hair, green eyes, and olive skin. He entered the room with a large black bag full of his various torturing tools and devices, including a wide variety of knives, restraints, and various devices such as a stun baton.     The guards grabbed Ace and tied him down to the bed frame forcefully with rope before ripping open his shirt and leaving the room. Then Kyle took a scalpel from the bag and walked over to him.     "So Ace, it looks like I get to have more fun with you after all, and here I thought you knew not to help them. After all this time, I Thought you learned something. BUT NO!" Kyle slashed at Ace's stomach, making him flinch and pull against the ropes.     "You can't Save them. We have hunting dogs, you moron!" He shouted before bending over and whispering. "You are Weak, and no one can save you." He started cutting Ace's arm from the wrist down to the inside of his elbow. Ace struggled against his restraints as Kyle laughed at him.     "I'm not even close to done. You're going to hate what I have in store for you." He said as he slid the back of the blade down his stomach and cut the button off his pants.     "We are going to have so much fun," Kyle said with a sadistic tone.

    The Child crawled out from under the house and ran, daring not to look back as he made his way into the woods. A scream echoed through the woods from the house as he ran. He knew who it was, and the thought of the kind man being punished for helping him made the boy sad. Tears ran down his face blinding him before he tripped over a log marked 7 in white paint, he frantically searched for the compass under it, quickly grabbing it before he scrambles to his feet. Looking at it, he ran going south, and that was good, he thought before the sound of dogs barking became audible in the distance. He ran faster weaving through the trees as fight or flight response kicked in.      However, it soon became apparent that running was in vain as the vicious, all black, wolf, mix breeds, tackled the child to the ground. Their teeth ripping into the child's flesh with ease as he screamed out in pain. The boy was quickly covered in blood as the all tugged and pulled at his skin, tearing pieces off with large spurts of blood.     Soon the guards found the dogs and the boy as they ripped into him. They stayed back and watched as the dogs mangled him, leaving the child unrecognizable. Once the boy fell silent, they then chained the dogs up and began to buried the remains of the still breathing child. He wheezed begging for air as one of the dogs had bitten into his throat causing blood to fill his air ways with every breath. Once the dirt covered his face, he stopped gasping for air.     "What a shame." One of the guards said.       "Yeah, poor kid... Let's take the compass back to the boss man. I'm sure he'll want to show Ace that he failed." The other said as he picked the compass up off the ground.

     The room was pitch-black as the boy slept before the light was suddenly flicked on. Kyle entered the room with a strut. He lifted up the compass to show the hurt and tired boy. He then leaned in and whispered into Ace's ear.     "Wakey, Wakey. Do you remember this?... You Failed him. He's dead now." His grin turned wicked before he tilted his head to the side and continued. "I made sure of that. They used the hunting dogs and gave them the kids bloody bag to them for them to get a taste for him, and oh boy if they didn't. They ripped that kid apart so much it took an hour for the guards to identify the child. You couldn't have helped him."     The boy looked at the compass in horror before struggling against the ropes more, making his wrists bleed. He then gave in after a while, breaking down into a sob.     "He was just a kid you monster! He was someone's baby, and you took him, beat him, and now you had your rabid dogs kill him. I hope the monsters you call pets, kill you." He said softly.     "Oh, so you do still know how to talk. If I knew that was all it took I would have been killing kids a lot more often." Kyle said with a smirk before picking up a knife and stabbing him in the thigh.     The boy jumped at this but refused to yell anymore. He was determined to win in any way he had to. Even then Kyle still got satisfaction from torturing him.

                  ~~~~

    He now had a new plan of escape, but this time he knew that they would not be dragging him back. This time there was no coming back, but the monsters were coming with him.     He was untied by the guards and changed into the new close left by the Maids. A white t-shirt that was swimming around him and a pair of blue denim jeans that he needed a belt to keep on. Once he was dressed two of the guards grabbed each arm and dragged him outside. The Maids and Workers watched as they carried him to work and thrown into the fields. He slowly got up and started his work ahead of the others so he could plant his secret messages for the other workers.     By midday, all the workers were in the field and were whispering about the messages. The older man who had watched Ace grow up here took it upon himself to see Ace's request through. He went over to Ace and nodded letting ace know he would do it, even tho he may die. Ace hugged the man.     "Thank you old friend. I will meet with you tomorrow, hopefully with good news." He whispered before releasing the man. The older man gave him a soft smile before patting his arm.     "Good luck to you." The older man said.    Once Kith and Kyle entered the yard to see that Ace was behaving the older man moved into position to knock a pitchfork into Kyle's shoulder.     The guards reacted quickly to Kyle's cries and dragged the old man down to where the dogs were, soon after screams emanated from the pits. Ace took note of where the dogs where but it saddened him that someone he cared for died to help him. It made him feel responsible for the man's death. It was evident that other workers agreed, as they glared at him with hate. Many of them avoided working or going near him and whispered harmful things behind his back. Saying he wanted the old man to die and that he was a spy and a deceiver.     By the end of the day, he was severely depressed, and he wanted it to end. He quietly asked the Maids for Kyle's bloody close as he entered the kitchen. They all fell silent and looked at him like he was the devil and one Maid left the room. He knew this would hinder his success and he was saddened by their reaction. He slowly returned to his room to find all the workers standing in the hall. Angry and upset they shoved him down and kicked him. One guard had to intervene and drag him back into his room before locking his door. The sound of the guard yelling everyone back to your rooms could be heard through the door as he laid on the ground bleeding out onto the wood floor. The one Maid who left the room earlier slipped into his room with Kyle's bloodstained close in hand. She kneeled down beside him taking a clean wet rag and wiping his wounds.     "I wish I could have warned you." She whispered softly.     "It's my fault." He responded in a sob.     "No, I know my father. He was a good man. He wanted to help, and he knew you knew how." She replied softly before brushing his hair out of the way so she could see his eyes. "I trust you. I know he would want me to help you."     "I know. Thank you. I won't let your fathers death be in vain." He said before he grabbed Kyle's close and stuffed them in his shirt. He slowly made his way to the hole before lifting the boards that he used to save so many. As he slipped down, she carefully placed the boards back. He made his way under the house, it was tight, and the support struts were hard to squeeze under.     Once he made it to the opening to the outside, he crawled out slowly and snuck to the pits as quietly as he could. Once he was in the range of the sleeping dogs, the threw Kyle's blood covered close into their enclosure.     As the dogs awoke and began tearing the shirt and pants apart, he took the time to enjoy the moon one last time before heading back. He smiled for the first time in years as he was about to be free, and he could feel a sense of joy fill his stride as he walked through the garden.     A guard shined a light in his face, and he ran for it, ducking behind the pits. The guard looked around, scanning for anyone before reporting in on a walkie.     "I think Ace is loose, check his room."     Ace ran around the back and around the house to his hole and began crawling back. He rushed out from under the boards and put them back before climbing under his bed frame to sleep.     Soon Kyle slammed open the door and took note of the sleeping boy. He strutted over to him before swatting down and whispered into his ear.     "Whatever you were planning to do with the dogs you should know, we didn't just replace your clothing for the hell of it." Kyle's foot steps echoed as the made his way out of the room before slamming the door shut once more and locking it once more.     This wasn't news to him, he knew that was their plan to keep him in line, but what they didn't know was his plan never included him surviving. He fell asleep with a light sob as he knew the pain he was about to endure, but he knew it was worth it in the end.

                                  ~~~~

    The next morning he crawled out from under the bed frame, his body ached from the beating he's endured for the last two days without food. He went to the door and begged to be let out so he could go to work. The guard slid a plate under the door and yelled fifteen minutes to eat. He quickly ate as his starving body craved the food. The beans were undercooked, and the meat was mostly raw, but he didn't care.     "Once the guard returned he headed down the hall with the plate in hand. Guards walked behind him, glaring the whole time. He entered the kitchen and acted like it was a typical day. The Maids were scared and in a panic as Kyle threw dishes at them. Kyle had been asking where his close went and they didn't know how to tell him they were gone. Kith stood there with his cup of coffee as normal. Ace made an effort not to look them in the eyes as he passed them placing his plate in the sink and walking to the back door. Kyle eyed him carefully, ensuring Ace could not make a move without notice.     He continued his work as usual and awaited evening. Kyle and Kith assigned a guard to Ace's room as they spoke with a buyer. It was a long night, but the Maid kept giving the guard water, and soon he went to the bathroom down the hall. Ace quickly crawled under the boards, and the maids thanked him for what he was about to do. They asked him if he was coming back, he only shook his head no before plunging into the dark. He made it out from under the house and ran into the woods. He climbs high into the trees to watch as the guards stormed outside in a search for him. Soon Kyle ran over to the pits to realize the dogs only to find they had a taste for him. The dogs jumped Kyle and ripped his flesh to shreds as he screamed out in pain begging for help, soon Kith ran to assist his brother, but the dogs had already killed him. As soon as Kith got in between the dogs and Kyle, they then began their attack on him, ripping Kith apart just like his brother. The guards tried to tame the dogs to no avail and as soon as Kith's cries stopped the Workers and the Maids ran from the house into the woods. Fleeing fast in hopes of freedom. Ace climbed down the tree satisfied with the end result and awaited the dogs to come and kill him. He sat on the ground as the dogs ran towards him before tearing him apart. The pain was excruciating as he laid there waiting for the darkness that moved in slowly. He felt cold and wet as he realized how alone he was. He cried not from the pain, but because no one would mourn his death.

    "You are not alone young one, I am here now, and you are safe. I have so much planned for you, I'm going to show you the freedom you thought you would never have and you will find people who care for you. I promise you that."

[horrificmemes]

LOTS O’ Tips on Writing: Blindness

Hey y’all, so I’m not really a reference blog exactly, but I figured I would share some of my experience in writing (and in life) with a character type that a lot of people seem unsure of how to represent. That would be characters with partial or complete blindness. I myself have one character who is completely blind, and I too am on the low-sighted spectrum, so I figured I’d clear up a few misconceptions about characters with blindness! This is a long post, so part of it is under a read-more, but I include subjects ranging from medical details to describing non-visual senses to handling romantic relationships.

1) Blindness is totally a spectrum. Someone who is legally blind at 20/200 vision doesn’t see “nothing but black”. In fact, people who are legally blind can sometimes see enough to use some adjusted devices or read large-print books! Legal blindness (or low vision) means that someone’s eyesight is very poor even with their highest corrective lenses. 20/200 means that something 20 feet away from them has the same definition as something 200 feet away from a well-sighted person. That’s why 20/20 vision often represents “perfect” vision, because objects at 20 feet look like they’re... well, 20 feet away. Sometimes, legal blindness can be caused by natural degeneration from severe myopia (nearsightedness) from age, extreme strain, or just genetics.

2) When thinking of what a visually impaired person experiences as far as sight, ask yourself if the description is necessary first, then listen to interviews or podcasts for a description if you do need it. Please don’t take the word of someone with no eye function at all and apply it to someone with severe myopia or cataracts, because blindness varies. People with one cause of blindness may have cloudy vision, extremely blurred vision, ‘missing’ spots in their sight, or lack of color, while someone without any eye function (or without any eyes at all) will wonder why you’d even ask! Often “a black void” or “nothing but white” isn’t exactly true. Someone who doesn’t see color or light won’t see a lack of light either! Black? White? What? You really don’t have to even describe what they "see” unless they are partially-sighted.

3) Characters with all forms of disability can still do some badass shit. They can defend themselves as well as another character, they can learn to navigate a new space, they can play games and run and be athletic. They can be artists, musicians, or even own their own business. They can do their own household chores. They can be great parents. They can use modern tools and devices with the right adjustments. Don’t be afraid to let them accept - or ask for - help, but please don’t make it seem as though they’ve become useless. Give them all kinds of talents! (for example, my visually impaired muse can channel spirits, tends to her own herb garden, and is a classically-trained soprano. Possibilities are endless, you guys!)

4) Cause of blindness should be known if you insist on describing your character’s full facial appearance and how their blindness affects them. But remember this: you don’t have to draw attention to the appearance of someone’s eyes constantly. Don’t let that be the only thing that defines them. Here are a few tips though: many people who are legally blind have very ordinary-looking eyes. The cloudy white/blue eyes you often see is usually from diseases like cataracts, while paled eyes without visible pupils may be from congenital (childhood) glaucoma. Other forms of glaucoma cause black spots in the iris. Cataracts and glaucoma can coexist in one person. Eyes can have an inflamed red sclera from bacterial infection-induced blindness such as meningitis. Some infectious diseases require removal of the eyes (we see this in cats and other animals all the time). There are tons more reasons. When researching the cause of your character’s blindness, pay attention to the level of impairment, because not all causes of blindness have the same outcome!

5) People whose eyes have nerve damage don’t always move perfectly together. As tempting as it is to give your visually impaired character the ability to eerily stare directly into someone else’s gaze all the time, often people who lack nerve control in the eyes have issues of mobility now and again or even constantly: eyes that move independently, one or both eyes that won’t move at all, one pupil stuck in full dilation (anisocoria), and they may not be aware that their eyes are moving in odd places. Please don’t use this as fuel for humor, as some folk go out of their way to cover their eyes constantly because of this. Speaking of cover, not all visually impaired people wear sunglasses like the cliche in movies. Many will wear them in public because their eyes are very sensitive to light rays or because the light gives them horrible headaches, while others choose to cover their eyes because they’re aware that their eyes lack mobility control or they’re shy about a drooping lid/etc. Not everyone who has problems with vision wears something over their eyes.

More information on memories, relationships, and making the best of five senses are in the read-more!

6) Memories - let’s talk about memories. Often, someone who goes completely blind before the ages of 7-8 won’t have many visual memories at all once they reach adulthood. They may not recall color, details of faces, or how to visually recall the shapes of objects. Objects may be described with adjectives such as “sharp”, “bumpy”, “dry”, “cold”, etc. Dreams are often not visual in this case. Please avoid the stereotype of “my character has been blind since birth, but they can see perfectly in their dreams and recognize everything just fine” unless something wickedly supernatural or divine is at work. People who are blind still dream! Some have reported extremely vivid dreams that are a lot like their waking life - full of smells, taste, tactile senses, emotions, sound (and fury, signifying nothing). That was a Shakespeare joke. Fight me. Also remember that if your character has recently gone through surgery to regain sight, they could likely still automatically rely on other senses out of habit or to ‘check’ what they’re perceiving. Sure, they can see that flower pot in front of them now, but maybe they want to touch it too. Who wouldn’t? Flower petals are super nice and soft.

7) The other five senses are amazing. Did I say five? You bet your ass, I did. Because there’s one sense people tend to forget, and that’s ‘aura’ or ‘proximity’. Have you ever been sitting with your eyes closed, but you can feel someone walk behind you even if they’re trying to be super quiet? If that can happen to you, it can happen to someone without vision also! Don’t be afraid to note that your visually impaired character isn’t so vulnerable that they’re startled by everything. It’s fine to let other characters be delicate or careful with them, especially if they’re still getting to know one another and their friends are being considerate, but you don’t have to make them so paranoid that they never trust their surroundings. Have them smell someone’s shampoo as they walk by. Have them hear a whisper from an adjoining room. Have them sense the electricity of their partner just as they’re about to embrace them, or lean in for a kiss without having to be guided because they can find their lips by feeling their breath. Let them be courageous with their hands, identifying objects or people confidently through touch. Let them initiate. 

8) Speaking of partners: just because your character may not be able to see someone’s face/body doesn’t mean they can’t be attracted to them, have crushes, lust after someone, or fall in love. Think of a sighted character for a moment. What do they love about their partner or crush? I’m sure you’ve got a list of over a dozen things unrelated to appearance, and guess what? Those are perfect here! Your visually impaired muse may adore someone’s voice, their scent, their laugh, how soft their skin is, their calloused well-worked hands, how long/short their hair is, playing with their thick curls, how warm their hugs are, their sense of humor, their determination, or some talent they have that makes them incredible. Don’t refuse your character an experience without a solid reason.

9) On that same subject, it shouldn’t even need to be said: visually impaired characters cover all ranges of sexual and romantic preference. Absolutely your character can be ace, aro, or a combination. But please avoid the excuse of “they don’t feel attraction because they can’t perceive beauty, so therefore they aren’t fit for a relationship”. If sexual preference was all about how nice someone looks, I’d have 4000 pictures of Ryan Reynolds on my bedroom wall. A+ face right there. Then again, I may still make a collage of his twitter posts.

10) Give your character tools. Not just a cane, but let them use their whole body to help them navigate. Counting steps, listening for cues in a certain area, touching the furniture, and relying on memory as well. Let them walk the streets about town, remembering a certain smell from the restaurant two blocks from home, or the sound of the coffee grinder from the bookstore at the corner. In a modern verse, using an ATM card is a great way to let your character make purchases without making them worry “shit, did I just give them a $20 for my $5 purchase?” Let your character organize their things in such a way that they can pick out their necessities confidently. Independence, people!

11) Here’s a bonus note: some people have used echolocation to help them navigate (usually by tapping a cane or other tool against surrounding surfaces to feel/hear the vibration return to them). This is super cool but also super rare to do perfectly. If this is your character’s thing, it’s very significant and special to them - unless they live in a society where everyone is capable of it, this is a talent that will make them stand out and should be used wisely. It’s easy to collect lots of super cool talents and abilities and realize all too late that some people might be rolling their eyes at a very over-skilled character.

12) Your visually impaired character can be clumsy. They can have terrible sense of direction. They can be anxious or easily startled due to their natural disposition. They can mix up their night and day. All of that is fine, but it’s not all necessary. Don’t forget to sprinkle in some useful skills or even a positive outlook! A character with blindness is not a useless character or a helpless character, and one person with a visual impairment may handle their daily life completely different than another. You can have a character who is blind but not a source of pity.

This is not a complete list of everything you’d need to know, but it’s a start if you’re very interested in RPing as a character with some level of blindness. I hope this helped, and if you have questions, please feel free to IM me or ask a question off anon so that I can answer privately. :)

[spider-moon-princess]

Is He Really a Knight? Pt 2

Haha...It’s been forever, trust me, I got notes written for this, I just gotta finish it off LOL I had too much fun in this part. 

Part One

----++----

Her brown eyes stared up at him, her hands on his shoulders. “…Would you really?” She whispered. “Let me marry someone…else?”

 Souji’s green eyes stared into her already watering eyes. Holding her close like this…he didn’t want to let her go.

“Yes.” His voice hardened, immediately releasing her and letting her stumble. “If Isami-sama so ordered it, then I have no right to oppose.”

 “No right? Right?” Etsu’s watering eyes glared at him and she grabbed his arm in protest. “Okita Souji, you know there’s something here. Yes,” She looked into his widened eyes. “I fuckin’ went there. I’m tired of playing this game.”

 “Interesting choice of words, Hime-sama,” He spat the title out, trying to build a wall between them. “Where did you learn such colorful language?” Though the corners of his lips were turned into a smile, it held no emotion. “Sannan-san would be appalled his lessons were for naught.”

 Etsu grabbed his arm to pull him into the library. God forbid anyone saw them arguing and thought something indecent of the recently engaged Princess. Souji decided to humor her, since clearly, she was not done with him. “Don’t give me that shit.” She wiped at her eyes. She’d picked up her colorful vocabulary from Shinpachi and Souji. Isami-oniisama would probably be horrified if he’d heard his sweet little sister say such words.

 “Then, pray, tell, Highness, what answer do you seek of me?”

 His formality was infuriating her. Etsu grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and pulled him down to her, her lips meeting his.

 He didn’t pull away. To her surprise, he brought her closer.

 She felt like she was dreaming. Breathless, she looked up at him. “Will you?”

 This time, his resolve weakened, but he continued answering as before, “Yes. Hime-sama. If Isami-sama had you wed, I would not interfere.”

 Etsu grit her teeth and stormed out of the library. Why? Why? She’d felt his passion…why did he deny it to her face?

 She shook her head. He hadn’t denied it, he’d just said that he’d follow orders.

 Why was Isami-oniisama more important that his heart? Her heart?

 She finally let her sobs overtake her in the garden. She felt so powerless in this moment. She couldn’t do anything about this upcoming marriage or to hasten her brother’s decision.

 “Hime-sama…”

 She took the handkerchief that the tall red-haired knight handed her, dabbing at her eyes. “Sano-san..”

 He sat on one of the many marble benches in the garden and invited her to sit next to him. “What saddens you besides the news of your engagement? Did you have a spat with Souji?”

 She looked up at him in surprise. “…Wh-what…I-…” Sighing she gave up. Sano-san was too perceptive and she knew she could trust him with her problems and secrets. He’d always been someone she could go to when she needed a shoulder to cry on or vent. “…I kissed Souji-kun…” She flushed, noticing he didn’t seem the least bit shocked. “Even after calling out our feelings…he doesn’t care what happens to me! He doesn’t care if I marry another man! Sano-san, marriage is a life sentence for someone of my position. I can’t just get up and leave or even have affairs.”

 Sanosuke chuckled and gently ruffled her black hair. “I wouldn’t say he doesn’t care…His loyalty to Isami-sama is stronger than the need to listen to his heart.”

 “Damn him.” She muttered, continuing to wipe her tears away.

 “Well, I think Souji will regret it if he lets you go, hell, he probably regrets it at this moment.” Sanosuke shrugged. “And we know Isami-sama is in a difficult position.”

 Etsu’s shoulders sagged with the weight of all this going on. Looking up at the sky, she sighed wistfully, wishing she could be like one of those birds, free to roam the skies with nothing binding them. She never asked for this life, nor this fate, it was merely dealt to her.

 --

 The week dragged on. Sannan-san had focused her lessons on life after marriage, though he seemed rather put off as he was teaching her. He didn’t agree with the decision of her marriage, but he couldn’t speak out against it.

 Finally, her bags were packed, the horses prepared, and the carriage was ready.

 During that week, Souji had been avoiding her like the plague. She didn’t see his face once after that day…Even when she went to find him, he was never conveniently there.

 “Oniisama,” Etsu begged, holding onto his arm, tears in her eyes. “Please don’t send me away. Please…I don’t want to leave…”

 It hurt him too, sending off his little sister to an unknown kingdom, unknown castle, unknown prince…he didn’t know what her future husband-to-be was like, so he was wary and hesitant to let her leave, but there was nothing he could do to stop it from happening. The only viable option to overrule this marriage was to murder their father, and he could not bring himself to do so. “I’m sorry, little sister…”

 Heisuke and Hajime were tasked with escorting her to the castle. Their party consisted of a maid, and a footman besides the two knights.

 The King stepped out with a few of his personal guards. He lifted a hand and one of them moved forward to grab her arm.

 “You may be the King’s guards, but we’re the Prince and Princess’s retainers.” Sanosuke used the back of his spear to stop the guard’s hand. “She gets on when she’s ready.”

 “Oniisama,” Etsu begged pitifully once more. “Please…”

 “Enough of this. Put her on the carriage.” The King ordered.

 Two more of his heavily armored guards moved forward and each grabbed her by the elbow, lifting her off the ground. “Put me down, you buffoons! I refuse to leave!” She screamed and kicked, but it was no use. “Souji!”

 She quieted down once they’d exited from the castle. There was no point in struggling anymore.

 Heisuke exchanged glances with Hajime, his expression a lot more pained. “Hime…”

 “I’m okay, Heisuke-kun…” She called from the inside of the carriage. She had the curtains over the windows, not wished to be seen with her silent tears rolling down her cheeks. God, she felt pathetic.

 After a day’s travel, Hajime declared for them to set up camp in the forest. Etsu was left to her own devices while Hajime, Heisuke and the footman went to water the horses. The maid was preparing dinner for them.

 She had taken off her shoes and was dipping her feet in the lake they’d settled nearby. If she was forced to resign to this fate…she might as well hope for the best. Maybe the Prince wouldn’t be so bad…

 Her scream got caught in her throat as a hand clamped over her mouth and an arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her up. She struggled a bit until she heard familiar snickering. She immediately ceased her movements and tried to peer through the darkness at her captor.

 Souji?

 Yeah, that’s the person she wanted to see.

 “Why’d you stop struggling? Aren’t you in a dangerous situation?”

 She bit his hand for good measure, and he chuckled in response. “You idiot!” She turned in his arms and hugged him tightly. “What are you doing here?” She asked in a hushed whisper. The moonlight shone on his brown hair. She reached up to cup his cheeks and close the distance between them.

 “Never pegged you for the needy type, Etsu-chan.” Souji smirked against her lips. “Thought you’d be shyer than this.”

 “I can’t waste time with you, Souji. You’ll leave me at any given moment, I need to take advantage of that.” She grumbled, crossing her arms.

 “About that…” Souji cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck.

---++--

Etsu changes from time to time LOL Sometimes she’s shy, sometimes she just wants her man LMAO Also depends on who she’s with as well! 

[rilenerocks]

There are the days when you’ve just had it up to here. You feel your aging body and you see it too. That’s the way life goes. Crepey skin, lacking moisture and resilience. Weird hairs growing in the wrong places. I’m a swimmer, and now after 45 years or so of doing the same repetitive motions, my shoulders have begun to ache, the pain and stiffness waking me at night. A pressing sense of urgency pushes me to hurry up and get all those things done that are sitting on various to-do lists and which feel very important. But are they important? Am I important? I can walk down the street wearing an unmistakable cloak of invisibility which I once thought would be a magic power. Not so much any more. To the bustling young people in their invincible minds, I am unseen. I’m exercising and trying to eat right and doing brain exercises. I still remember ridiculous amounts of information about a wide range of topics. So what. The inexorable slide is still happening. For some people with good genes, the process may be slower than it is for others. Some have been forgetful for years. Others, like me, are still able to experience powerful recall. Many older folks do without the intimacy and physicality of their youth.  Lots of people drifted away from sex long ago. Those of us who still have a powerful drive may be stuck without the partner we used to have.

News at home and abroad is lousy and oppressive. You try to do some good where you can but are left feeling insufficient and overwhelmed. Everything feels annoying and you’re muttering stuff to yourself like, “shit rolls downhill,” “what goes around comes around,” and, “ha, you pompous child, one day you’re going to be in the place I am right now – we’ll see how you like it.” The fact is that older women are marginalized, kicked to the curb, both personally and professionally. Everyone just can’t be Jane Goodall, that wonderful person or other famous women who’ve bucked the odds. Lots of us are just regular.  We grew up trying to find ways to navigate societal expectations. Many us found partners who stuck and many found partners who didn’t. Some never found anyone. We went to work and school, had babies and aging parents and balanced full schedules every day for years. Those of certain economic classes, that is. The poor, the victims of domestic and sexual abuse and the uneducated are marginalized all their lives. I won’t forget that truth. I push back. I have my opinions, my morals and my standards and I don’t feel like getting kicked to the curb. When you’ve fought your way through the grief of losing a life partner, your parents, siblings and friends, you want a little attention and empathy. And you want it to be given freely without asking for it. But as the song goes, you can’t always get what you want.

 Yesterday, I wanted my husband to be alive. Of course I always want him to be alive, but some days are harder than others. I wanted something from him that I can’t get anywhere else. I’m pretty warmhearted but I have my boundaries. I don’t like people touching my face. I don’t know why. When I was young, it was okay that my mom did it. She would relax me. But as I got older, I shied away from that. There’s just something really intimate about having a person lay hands on the place where your deepest thoughts and feelings are just underneath your skin. At least that’s   how it works for me. One time, not long ago, my sweet grandson touched my cheek. I sat very still and didn’t jump away from him. But that was a challenge. He doesn’t perceive that invisible wall. I want Michael to touch my face. He would take both hands and shove my hair straight back and stare at me. Ironically, I have widow’s peak. He loved my hairline and looking into my eyes. And I trusted him. I miss that sense of security a lot. Instead there are all these other oppressive and irritating daily struggles that I’d hoped would have been far more improved in these last fifty years. Me, too. Me, too. So what do you do when you just can’t do regular life? For me, it’s hitting the road. My butterflies have flown the coop.

I left too. I set some goal for myself after Michael died. One was to see all 50 states in this country. Just before my knee surgery in July, I got up to 43 visited. Feeling antsy and discontented, I decided to take a few days and knock two others off that list, Mississippi and Alabama. My sister, who retired recently, came along with me. I have to say, these two states aren’t high on my list, mostly because my political stance is diametrically opposed to lots of people in these places. So I tried an itinerary which included nature, a little pop history and maybe some Civil War sites. I don’t talk much about the depth of my interest in that war, but I’ve been obsessed by it for years and have read a few hundred books about it. I still gave trouble fathoming the fact that people from the same country lined themselves up across from each other and blasted themselves into oblivion for four years. I thought I might find a place to ponder that subject on my getaway from reality. We started out by driving to Garden of the Gods in Shawnee National Forest in southern Illinois.

  I’ve been there before but it doesn’t get old. Imposing sandstone bluffs that emerged from Pangea as the earth shook itself into pieces are still awesome to experience. Old stands of beautiful birch trees commingle with other species and create a peaceful quiet that is really soothing. No wonder forest walking has become a recommended therapeutic device. I managed to snag a few rocks that had chipped off the large formations. After we wandered through there, with me being grateful to have knees that work again, albeit a little gingerly, we drove to a nearby town for some delicious barbecue and a good night’s rest.

  This morning after breakfast, we took off and headed to Mississippi.  The weather was pleasant, cool and sunny. I’d finally synced Michael’s ancient iPod to the car. As we zipped along, we crossed the Mississippi, heading into Tennessee on our way to Tupelo, birthplace of Elvis Presley. I like bridges and taking photos of them while driving which in turn, drives my sister crazy. Sometimes it just doesn’t seem as risky as texting.

  In any event, I got a few shots and then got interested in fields far different from Illinois’ corn and beans. Cotton fields, some harvested and others in bloom. I realized that random tufts had blown to the edge of the highway so I pulled over to collect a few.

  I don’t think I’ve ever seen this before. There are special cotton picking machines which somehow collect the cotton and roll it into brightly colored stretchy plastic bales, like hay. Imagining the backbreaking labor of slaves bent over the plants was disturbing. As we drove through Tennessee, my GPS was sending us off the main highways to shorter routes that took us through small towns and back country. I was just getting ready to make a turn on some side street when I caught sight of a marker pointing toward Shiloh National Battlefield. I’ve always wanted to go there after having read so much about it. Tennessee was considered the Western theater of the Civil War and water throughways there were critical to victory for both sides. Pittsburg Landing located close by, was a crucial port.  The battle was fought over two days in April, 1862. Over one hundred seven thousand soldiers participated with a casualty rate of 21% from both armies.  The fighting raged over terrain that was both heavily wooded and dotted with clearings where people could be mowed down. The amount of artillery was astonishing and caused devastation that astonished the country.

  There are names like the Hornets’ Nest and the Bloody Pond, accurate descriptors for what happened there. There are mass graves in several locations along with peach  orchards and farmer’s fields, those average people whose homes were in  the wrong place at the wrong time.

  Driving through the dense peaceful forest, with deer, squirrels and birds abounding, it was hard to inagine the deafening, smoky, violent madness that occurred there. It’s like traveling with the echoes of ghosts. Two future presidents fought there, Ulysses Grant and James Garfield, as did General Lew Wallace who wrote “Ben Hur.”

  And  then there were the faceless thousands who died, were maimed or survived and went back to their lives. Being on that ground was a moving experience. Times gone by in a flash of chaos.

  We finally made it into Mississippi early tonight, waylaid but glad for the digression. I’ve only been gone for a couple of days but I do feel less annoyed and grumpy about life in general. A little change of scenery can go a long way. I’m already thinking about what comes next.

  Pushing the Margins There are the days when you've just had it up to here. You feel your aging body and you see it too.

[akxle-blog1]

06. awaken

thank you guys so much for reading this! this chapter is now the turning point of the whole series. hope you enjoy! this is kinda long, too :) also, i apologize for the delay. i have no other reason but tumblr not allowing me to post it but here ya go!

edit: i forgot to add the title omg 

warning: blood, violence, alcohol

there was a knock on the door and seokjin immediately stood up from his seat on the couch beside yoongi and ran towards the door - like, really ran towards the door. he composed himself, flatten down his shirt before opening the door and revealing oh sehun dressed in a suit minus a neck tie. sehun bowed at his sunbae, "seokjin sunbae, good evening."

jin felt uncomfortable to say the least. he much preferred to be called hyung than sunbae. it was too formal for him. "sehun, y/n's finishing getting ready. you kind of took her off guard with the date." jin replied and sehun smiled slightly at him. was twitching your lips even considered a smile? probably for oh sehun it does, jin told himself. "come inside, its cold."

"don't worry about it, seokjin sun-,"

"call me hyung, oh sehun."

this time, sehun really smiled. seokjin grabbed sehun's wrist, catching the younger boy off guard. seokjin pulled sehun inside their dormitory and shut the door behind them. "follow me, we have some things to say." seokjin said as he led the way towards the living room where the rest of the boys were except jeongguk who was fetching y/n.

sehun, being the well-mannered boy he was, bowed 90° at his sunbaes and fellow hoobaes.

"we've been expecting you," hoseok said in a serious tone accompanied by a serious expression that should look intimidating but with a giggling jimin beside him - hoseok dropped the act and slapped the younger boy at the back of his neck. "you're such a killjoy, park jimin."

namjoon shook his head at them and stepped towards sehun. both boys extended their hands out and intertwined it. they did a firm shake and namjoon offered sehun a seat.

"we'll just go straight to the point while jeongguk gets y/n," namjoon said.

"don't pull any shit that will get us all in trouble, sehun." yoongi bluntly said, looking at sehun with a stern expression.

"i should have known," sehun said, his demeanor changing all of a sudden. he leaned against the chair namjoon offered him and crossed his legs. "you think i'm just playing around again?"

"well, its not really the first time you've pulled a stunt like this, sehun. we just don't want a mess." jin said, crossing his arms over his chest.

"has it ever crossed your minds - all of you - that i might actually be interested in her, no hidden agendas?" sehun asked, feigning hurt.

"no, it didn't because we fucking know your game, oh sehun." yoongi was growing mad. fucking hell, the mere sight of oh sehun irked him.

"it would still be a mystery to me why seolhyun chose you over me."

at the mention of her name, yoongi was already lunging towards sehun. he grabbed the younger by his collar, pulling him up from the chair and pushing him against the wall. "don't you say her name!" yoongi growled.

"yoongi, stop it. let him go." namjoon said, placing a hand on yoongi's shoulder.

"come on, hyung, this is gucci." sehun sarcastically smirked. he always enjoyed riling yoongi up.

yoongi pushed him further into the wall and let him go. "fuck you and your gucci." the jet black-haired boy spat before leaving.

"he was always the life of the party." sehun remarked as the front door slammed.

"sit down, sehun, god," seokjin said frustratingly. "please, sehun, take care of y/n. she might not be with us from the start but we all care for her. where will you take her?"

"the annual ball. i got permission from headmaster, don't worry." sehun said, fixing his undershirt.

"woo jiho's gonna be there," taehyung pointed out.

"which means eureka's gonna be there, too," jimin added.

"i'll just say this once," hoseok said and walked towards sehun. "THE FUCK'S WRONG WITH YOU, KID?"

"she's with me. she's in our territory, if eureka fucks with her, she'll have us to deal with them. besides, my parents didn’t invite them."

"can't you just take her to mcdo or something?"

"when we're wearing versace and gucci?"

"who gives a fuck? at least she'll be safe. we all will be safe. does exo trust eureka?" namjoon asked, eyebrows furrowed together.

"y/n's here," jin suddenly said as they heard heels clicked against the wooden staircase.

"we don't but we're civil." sehun quietly told them.

"do you trust us?" namjoon asked.

sehun smirked at the question. "i don't think that's the question, namjoon, question is - do you trust me?"

namjoon didn't have time to reply because jeongguk had already entered the room, y/n following closely behind.

"you look really beautiful, y/n." seokjin complimented as y/n blushed.

"hyung's right," sehun agreed as he approached her. "you look beautiful, y/n."

yoongi knew better than to waste the night away in the shabby bar near eichen on a school night but he didn't care one bit. earl, the owner of the bar, was surprised to see yoongi again after so long. earl was hesitant to give the jet black-haired boy his order, knowing all too well yoongi would just order one after another and earl would end up calling the school to get yoongi. he almost lost his bar because of this kid but he can't stay mad at yoongi for so long. he knew what this kid had been through growing up and he understood that what was he going through at that time where alcohol seemed to be the only solution. everyone who knew yoongi before her knew that yoongi was harsh, cold, troublesome but fiercely loyal and dedicated to his friends - his family, bangtan. earl was a witness that yoongi changed for the better when seolhyun entered his life.

"yoongi, go home, kid. you have school tomorrow." earl said as he wiped the counter and grabbed yoongi's unfinished beer. "we're closing anyways."

"i want her back, earl," yoongi said, his voice so broken and painful that it made the bar owner stop from wiping the counter. he looked at the lone customer and saw how much he longed for his dead lover. "i fucking need her."

"yoongi..." earl trailed off, placing both hands on the countertop.

"i don't think there's a day that goes by that i don't miss her. everything about her. why can't i have her back? is that too much to ask?"

"you know it is, kid. seolhyun... she's in a better place, yoongi."

yoongi scoffed at that and looked at the man he always wished was his father. "i'm so selfish, huh earl? maybe that's why death took her from me. or maybe because she chose me over sehun and the rest of them."

"don't put all the blame on yourself, kid. she chose you because she loved you. nothing more, nothing less." earl's voice was stern and firm that yoongi couldn't help but to give the bar owner a small smile. earl leaned forward towards yoongi and placed a hand on the younger's shoulder. "go back home, yoongi. it's getting late."

"can't i stay here?" yoongi asked.

"you have-," earl was cut off by yoongi's phone ringing. "answer that, it might be important."

"i don't feel-,"

"yoongi, did i stutter?"

with an exaggerated sigh, yoongi fished his phone out of his pocket and answered the call, pressing the device on his ear. "what?"

"we need you, like, right now." it was namjoon and he sounded out of breath. yoongi could hear noises besides namjoon's voices, grunts, and glass shattering.

"what the hell's going on? where are you guys?" yoongi asked, immediately standing up from the stool he was sitting on and grabbing his jacket that was lying on the counter.

"the annual ball of the oh's, come-," the other line went dead and yoongi cursed.

"what's going on?" earl asked.

"i can't explain right now, earl. i gotta go - thank you, for everything." yoongi gave him a genuine smile before running out of his bar.

right now, his brothers needed him.

this certainly was not what you were expecting your night would turn out to be. it went great, at first. you and sehun arrived at a grand mansion filled with various people and even some students from eichen. you saw the group sehun's always hanging out with and sehun introduced you to them. they were all sweet, kind and well-mannered boys, some even kissed your cheek and the back of your hand. although you had sehun with you, you can't help but to feel out of place. everything was just really grand, even grander than eichen.

when you and sehun walked through the front door of the mansion, the first thing that greeted you was a grand staircase. it was marbled and on top was a fountain. everything was either gold or marble - it was like a tumblr mansion aesthetic come to life and it was very overwhelming to be even standing there. sehun led you to the spacious garden outside and there was where you met his friends and to your surprise, his parents.

"well, this is certainly a first, sehun," his mother, shinhye, said as she greeted you with a kiss on both sides of your cheek. "this is the first time my son ever brought a date for our ball."

"we were beginning to think that he'd be alone forever," his father remarked, placing his arm around sehun's mother.

"and i'll take that as our cue to leave," sehun said, grabbing my hand in his and he dragged me away from his parents who was laughing heartily.

"they're nice, everyone is." you commented as he led you two back into the mansion. you shudder when the cool air of the aircondition hit your bare skin, sending goosebumps all over your body.

sehun noticed this and immediately took of his jacket and placed it on your shoulders. "i should have bought something else but the moment  i saw it; i knew it was just for you."

you couldn't help but to let out a loud laugh at his corny response. he looked at you, his lips twitching then formed into a huge smile. you placed a hand on your stomach, throwing your head back a little. "god, that must be one of the most cheesiest line anyone has ever said."

"well, it is the truth," sehun replied and you finally stopped laughing. comfortable silence set in the two of you and before you knew it, the two of you were already on the second floor of the mansion and were standing in front of their huge family portrait. "that's my brother, sejeon," sehun said, pointing to the man standing beside him, a huge smile plastered on his handsome face.

"i didn't see him around." you commented.

"he's not really welcome here," sehun replied, staring at the image of his brother. "guess you could say he was disinherited."

"what happened? if you're not comfortable talking about it, you don't have to answer," you said, looking at him.

"he was just a plain dick," sehun said and then scoffed. "i used to look up to him, you know? he was that guy in books and movies that everyone loved. parents, friends, teachers, even animals and plants - he was just perfect. my parents, they were so proud of him. had his life planned for him and although i wanted to be jealous, i couldn't because i knew he deserved the attention. he was my goddamn role model, my fucking hero but he just had to crawl out of his grandmother's skin and be the big bad wolf."

sehun turned to you, his eyes darker than usual. he looked so intimidating at the moment. "in my family, we have certain rules, one of those is never turn back on family. i'm guessing you could figure out what my brother did for him to be disinherited."

"he broke the rule; he turned his back on you, your family." you answered, your voice low.

"yes, my son of a bitch of a brother did and i never hated anyone more than i hate him," sehun's veins were popping out of his neck, red face from anger and you hesitantly placed a hand on his cheek, hoping it'll calm him down. he flinched when you touched him and grabbed your hand. "you're so cold."

"why did he leave sehun? hate is such a strong word to use, especially towards your brother."

but before sehun could answer, screams erupted from the guests outside and you and sehun looked at each other with wide eyes. "come with me." he said in a hurry as he grabbed your hand and led towards the hallway behind you but someone had blocked your way.

"not even gonna say hi to your big brother?"

"shit, that's eureka!" hoseok exclaimed as they watched from their car. namjoon grabbed the binoculars from hoseok's hands and placed the butt on his eyes and let out a frustrating sigh. "i thought they were on truce?"

"eureka is known for backing on their words, hoseok, i'm not even surprised they did it. i'm just really worried about y/n right now. namjoon, what should-," seokjin said but stopped mid-sentence when they heard the car door opened and jeongguk ran towards the mansion.

"jeon jeongguk!" namjoon screamed at their maknae. "fucking hell!" he screamed as he hit the back of the driver's seat repeatedly.

"hyung, we have to help him and y/n!" jimin said, worry laced with his voice.

"this is so not happening right now," namjoon grumbled as he fished out his phone. if they were gonna fight, they needed yoongi. "follow him, everyone of you. find him and y/n and get them both out of here, i'll stay behind, i'll wait for yoongi."

"you heard the leader, let's go kick some asses!" taehyun excitedly exclaimed as he pushed jimin out of the car and they ran towards the mansion.

"aish, these two," seokjin left his car along with hoseok. "let's find y/n." he told hoseok and namjoon watched as they disappeared into the mansion.

"the annual ball of the oh's-," he replied to yoongi but was cut off when he was pulled out of the vehicle, his phone landing on the floor of the car and his body on the dirty ground. "you're gonna fucking regret that."

"well, i didn't expect a bangtan member to be on an exo's property."

"same goes for your society, jiho. thought you guys were on a truce?" namjoon picked himself up from the ground, glaring at the blonde standing a few feet away from him, a bat in his hand.

"leader's orders," jiho simply replied.

"sejeon," namjoon said and scoffed. "of course. just what would your society gain by trashing a party?"

"fun, free alcohol, expensive things, a night to remember, maybe some gir-,"

"cut the bullshit, woo jiho," namjoon spat. "why are you here?"

"well, a little birdy told us sehun has got someone we very much want to meet here." a sinister smile formed onto jiho's face which almost made namjoon's skin crawl. almost.

"y/n? what do you want from her?"

"now that, that doesn't concern you," a chuckle escaped the blonde's lips. "i'm done talking, namjoon. i didn't come here to gossip with you."

"well, neither am i," a voice appeared behind jiho and he spun around only to be met by a punch from yoongi. jiho fell on the ground due to the impact and yoongi motioned namjoon to come with him inside the mansion. "go help the others, i'll look for y/n."

you felt his fingers running up and down your exposed back and you screamed through your gagged mouth under his touch. you mumbled, please's and let me go's but he wouldn't listen. sehun was in front of you, in the same position as you as well. tied to a chair, mouth gagged. he, too, was screaming, something along the line of 'don't touch her'. only sehun had wires attached to his body that was connected to a machine you were unfamiliar with.

"i'm feeling very much disrespected by you, sehun," sejeon said, and your eyes widened when a chair slid across the floor by itself. maybe you were just hallucinating, maybe this was because of the shock in your system that you were starting to see things. things that were not normal. sejeon sat down on the chair, sitting on it on reverse. he was facing sehun, his arms rested on top of the backrest of the chair while his back was facing you. one flick of a hand, the gag on sehun's mouth was pushed down.

"fuck you! let her go! she has nothing to do with this." sehun exclaimed, anger clearly evident on his face and his voice.

"oh but she does, dear brother, she does," sejeon replied and sehun only replied by spitting at his brother's face. a low scoff escaped sejeon's lips and he stood up from his chair, walking towards his brother and you screamed when his fist collided with sehun's cheek. "you were always such a brat."

"'course i'm the brat," sehun spit the blood from his mouth. "but at least i didn't turn my back on family."

"sooner or later, you'll end up just like me, sehun. you'll find out you aren't the son our parents wanted to have."

"let her go, sejeon, let her go or i swear to god-,"

"what? you gonna teleport down, get mommy and make her slap my ass? fucking try, sehun." sejeon then walked towards the machine. you felt your heart race and felt hot tears escaping your eyes. a noise erupted from the machine and you screamed when sehun screamed. his veins were popping out of his neck, forehead and arms. he was in pain, that much was very obvious. "let's see if you can teleport now."

"stop! stop! please!" you screamed through your gagged mouth. you stomped your feet, hoping it'll make you grab sejeon's attention but he sadistically watching his younger brother scream and writhe in pain. you moved your head down to your right shoulder, rubbing the fabric gagged onto your mouth with your bare shoulder. after what seemed like an eternity, the gag finally fell from your mouth.

"sejeon, please! stop! that's your brother!" you screamed, voice cracking. "please, i'll do anything you want."

that certainly caught sejeon's attention. he turned off the machine connected to sehun and the boy in front of you fell into unconsciousness. sejeon made his way towards you, grabbing the chair he was sitting on before and pulling it towards you. he sat down on it and gripped your thighs tightly. "what are you?" he asked, voice harsh and desperate.

"i don't know what you mean." you replied.

you felt a stinging sensation your cheek and you hissed in pain. "what are you?"

"i don't know what you're talking about! just let us go!" you screamed.

sejeon harshly grabbed you by your chin, his nails digging into your hips through your dress. "i'll ask you one more time, baby girl, what are you?"

"i told you, i don't-," you started to say but you were cut off by a voice.

"let her go, oh sejeon," the voice said and you watched as sejeon's pupils dilate. he immediately let you go, staring at you with a blank expression on his face. "untie oh sehun," the voice ordered and sejeon did as what he was told.

your tore your gaze off sejeon and your eyes met park jimin's. he walked towards you, knelt down in front of you as he started untying you from the chair. "it's okay, y/n, you're safe now." he said, voice so gentle and soothing.

"i'm tired, ji...min and thirs...ty," you said, eyes dropping.

"close your eyes, y/n. go to sleep." the last thing you heard was a snap of fingers and you fell into a deep slumber.

the silence was unbearable. the tension was so thick that you could cut it with a knife. everyone felt it but none of them said anything. the five boys sat around the living room. jimin and seokjin were busy tending to their cuts and bruises. hoseok, taehyung and namjoon weren't badly beaten but jeongguk and yoongi were. it wasn't anything major but would definitely take weeks before the purple bruises on their sides and the cut on his lips and eyebrows would fade away.

"she saw what i did," jimin said, throwing away the used cotton ball in the trash beside him. "sejeon probably used his in front of her, too."

namjoon's clenched his fists, closed his eyes in hopes of staying calm. he felt miserable, to say the least. this wasn't supposed to happen, he thought. he felt disappointed in himself. he wasn't angry; just disappointed. he wanted to be mad at jeongguk but he couldn't because he knew the maknae was just doing what was right - risky but it was the right thing to do. namjoon wouldn't admit it out loud but y/n had grew a soft spot on him. he was sure each of them had a soft spot for their new housemate.

but then again, she was just someone who entered their lives without notice. yoongi maybe right about her. she could be someone from eureka maybe even exo and tonight was just staged by the twisted mind of oh sejeon.

everything was just too damn confusing and namjoon hated confusion.

"what do we do?"

"you tell her," a voice appeared behind them, causing their heads to snap towards the direction. they saw headmaster lim in his night robe, a bag of snickers tucked under his arm. he had a soft smile on his face and grabbed the bag of snickers from under his arm. "snickers, anyone?" he offered, walking towards the seven boys.

"professor lim," they greeted, standing up from their seats and bowed at the old man.

"you had quite a night," headmaster lim mused, motioning the boys to sit down as he sat down on the lone chair in front of everyone. "you all will be excused from classes tomorrow alongside eureka and exo."

"what will happen to eureka, professor? they clearly broke their truce with exo." taehyung said, playing with them hem of his shirt.

"eureka will be facing Concilium with bangtan and exo." headmaster replied, leaning against the chair.

"but we didn't do anything wrong, professor, we just helped. they, exo, were clearly outnumbered. eureka should undergo demoveo for what they did tonight. it was uncalled for." jimin said, clenching his fists.

"it is, mr. park but i'm afraid crashing a party isn't a qualification for them to undergo demoveo," headmaster replied, opening a snicker bar. "as i have said before, you should tell miss y/l/n."

"tell her about our abilities?" seokjin asked, eyes wide. headmaster lim nodded, taking a bite off the chocolate bar.

"professor, you're saying it like it's the easiest thing to do. she isn't one of us, she doesn't have any ability, isn't that going against rule number ten?" hoseok asked, tilting his head to the side.

headmaster lim flickered his gaze onto yoongi and namjoon, the seemingly quiet ones. "what is your say on this, mr. kim?"

namjoon shot his head up at the mention of his surname. "i..." namjoon said but he was loss for words. what was his say on this? he was just really disappointed for putting his society - no, they are more than his society, his family, in this position. he felt a hand on his shoulder and saw yoongi giving him a light nod of assurance. the leader sighed. "i don't know, professor. i just... i'm disappointed in myself because i put them in danger."

"that's not true, hyung," jeongguk immediately said. "don't be disappointed in yourself. it's... it's all on me. i should have never... i should have just waited for your order."

"you did the right thing, kookie," namjoon told the maknae, a soft smile on his tired face. "everything is so messed up now, professor. to be honest, i agree with hoseok. you saying we should just tell her like it's the easiest thing in the world is a clear violation of rule ten."

"this is earlier than i expected but nonetheless, mr. min, have you got something to say?" eyebrow raised, headmaster lim lowered his gaze onto the pale boy beside namjoon. the old man could sense his nervousness and for someone who had the power to know everything, he wasn't sure if the nervousness surrounding min yoongi was because of his gaze or because of what he knew.

"hyung?" hoseok asked yoongi.

yoongi's gaze met headmaster lim's and the old man gave him an assuring nod. he knows, too. somehow, it made him a little bit better.

"it takes one to know one," yoongi said and the boys gave him confused looks.

"what?" taehyung asked.

yoongi sat up straight, wincing when his side hit namjoon's elbow. the leader apologized and yoongi waved him off. "she is one of us. she is like me."

"are... are you sure?" seokjin asked, shocked.

"yoongi is correct," headmaster lim said. "miss y/l/n has retrocognition, the ability to go back into time."

there was silence once again. it was so silent that you could hear a pin drop. no one was sure what to say. it was definitely unexpected. how could they not sense it?

"i was like 8 when i learned i was different, that i had that ability, why didn't she knew? or she does and just won't tell us?" yoongi asked, leaning forward.

"she's a late bloomer," headmaster lim said. "it happens when both parents are... different."

"you mean... her parents... they're both..." taehyung asked, and before he could finish, headmaster lim was nodding his head.

"both what?"

jeongguk was the first to stand up and looked at the direction of the new voice. his eyes widened when he saw y/n.

end of phase 1. 

[god-hunter]

Astonishing X-Men #7-12

I know I already talked about Issue 7, barely... But as it’s part of this 2nd (and technically final) arc of Soule’s story, I had to include it in the photo set.

So this was the “A Man Called X” arc, which was very cleverly titled.  But it was ridiculously convoluted, which kept me from reviewing it for months!  Admittedly, it was way better on a 2nd read, so here goes:

Issue 7:  X reintroduces himself to the X-Men in this issue.  They had just defeated the Shadow King and rescued Charles Xavier, but it was at the expense of taking over Fantomex’s body.  And Charles acted younger and hipper, now suddenly.  He wants to be called X now.  There’s something they don’t trust about him, and I don’t blame them.

I brought this up before, but in this issue X fixes Archangel.  The first thing X does is stop Archangel dead in his tracks, who was in the midst of an air-battle with the Air Force, or whatever.    Basically, he force-calms him down, so that Warren can still cognitively think and feel like himself, rather than being cold and death-driven.  The Ministry of Defense is concerned about this sudden attack and subsequent ceasefire, and also that more chaos seems to be ensuing elsewhere in London.

This involves Bishop & Gambit, who are still under some sort of spell.  Only it isn’t the ShadowKing this time. It’s something else, which X has yet to discover.  Before Psylocke and the others let him help them though, she needs to see for herself what happened to Fantomex.  So she dives in his head via telepathy, and finds that Fantomex volunteered to stay behind in the Astral Plane. He sacrificed his physical body in order to bring Xavier to the fore.  [Which means that this can be reversed...]

Anyway, Bishop looks into this Green Sun that is looming over the people in his area and is controlling them.  It’s a Future death incident called the Mindkiller Apocalypse, apparently, which is a huge cause for concern.

X tries to stop this green thing, whatever it is.  But instead, all he did was set the green thing free.  This being is called Proteus.

Issue 8 - So, we went from stopping ShadowKing, to somehow setting Proteus free in the aftermath.  How those 2 connect, I don’t know, but I was still curious...

“The ShadowKing must have been using shards of Proteus’ soul to create a psychic feedback loop. It nearly ripped a hole between the Astral Plane and this World...” as X puts it.  The London X-Men quickly get fed up with this, but Psylocke reels them in.  “Can we just set everything else aside until we stop him?”  [That’s fair.]

Bishop spots Proteus absolutely eating people’s souls for energy.  He tries blasting him with his guns, but that only makes him more powerful too.

Old Man Logan claims that he knows how to kill Proteus.  They have to use Metal, which he and Archangel have in spades.

Then... this issue takes a left turn.  This is where I come out of it.

X and Psylocke get in Proteus’ head.  Apparently they’re in Scotland, where the human form of him is really Kevin MacTaggert? Moira’s brother???

He brings up their past history, which I’d rather not get into.  He does a lot of self-victimizing for his past crimes, and says that after years in the Astral Plane he’d like a 2nd chance. Something X should understand big time.

At the end of this issue, X attempts to kill Kevin with psychic guns(?) and Proteus retaliates.  He X & Psylocke together, leaving the rest of the X-Men confused and worries as fuck on the outside.  They’re literally melting into each other, which is quite horrific.

Issue 9 - I didn’t know what the Hell was going on, but Soule still had my curiosity.  

We come to find that this was some sort of mind-meld or something.  Archangel & Logan immediately use their metal to strike/guard them.  Warren protects Psylocke which is touching, because they were once an item.  And Logan decides to stab X in the shoulder, because Fantomex had healing powers.  Same body, same powers, he figures.  But no, that’s not the case.

He couldn’t heal and writhed in pain until Psylocke put him to sleep.

They imediately brought him to the Blackbird to recover, while Proteus shifted over to Scotland to... reclaim his Kingdom, as it were.

He literally invades a bar, where some random civilians are chilling, and.. ‘gives them what they want.’  One civilian was flirting with someone’s fiance big time, and by Proteus doing this, now he caused the person to just savagely kill his best friend. I already skipped a lot of stuff though.

First, Proteus makes this community. He literally builds a spherical wall, and convinces these people that he is their leader, and everyone gets what they want.  Having mind powers, presumably, this is not hard.

So bam. The chaos ensues in this community, and some people are transformed into soldiers

“NO!” X snaps awake, while the Blackbird Jet flies over to Scotland.  {And then I gave away the ending already.  Jealous boy wanted his friend gone, so boom. He blew up.}  This can only mean worse in the bigger picture.  Some sort of all out war, in this community, which may spread to the rest of the World.

Issue 10 - On their way to Scotland, they tell X that they voted that Psylocke is in charge of this gang.  “Nothing personal. We just don’t trust you. At all.”  Thanks Mystique.  He utters something about wanting to drop an atomic bomb on the place, which is super OOC for Xavier.  They remind him that that’s exactly why he is not leading and then say that they’re the X-Men. They Save people.

“You’re assuming there’s anyone left to save,” X says with a dark spin on life.

This is where it gets whacky.  We see all sorts of dragons and soldiers attack the Blackbird jet, while other civilians are having orgies, or exhibiting other such chaotic behavior.

Yet again, the Blackbird crashes, but our X-Men are fine, because telepathic device.  

Then the real fight goes down.  It’s quick and rushed, to get to the point, which I like.  Crazy layout of panels across 2 pages, or our guys fighting random people and creatures.  [I doubt this is what they wanted, and more of what Proteus wanted.]

Suddenly the people stop fighting, and the ground seems to sprout up to capture some of our team.  The Shadow King’s face can even be seen within the ground as Proteus talks to them.

“The Shadow King wanted a Hellscape... so that’s what the Astral Plane was.  But I think there’s another way.  That’s why I did my little experiment here...  If you create a World using only one mind’s ideas, you get something twisted, stunted.  But if you use many minds...you get a Garden.”

Logan is pissed because he believes he killed them 100%.  Proteus explains that he gave them what they wanted.  They’re just different now.  Then he shifts the conversation over to Xavier’s dream.  “Do you still believe in that dream?”

“I do,” X proclaims.  He also says that none of them would have chosen this, if they knew it would turn out this way.

Proteus then says it’s time to let his garden grow.  On the last page, the spherical walls are broken down, and I guess this reality is lopping itself onto the rest of Scotland.

Issue 11 - The Garden quickly spreads into Edinburgh, Copenhagen, Philadelphia, Dublin, Cairo... Tokyo!!

[Whenever things get Worldly like this, I can’t help but wonder, where are the Gold & Blue teams in on this, then??]  Or anyone else for that manner??

Proteus is at the point where he feels he’s won.  But Logan and Archangel go after him with their metal.  While Psylocke and X try to attack him from inside his head.

There’s a lot of slashing and beam throwing.  It’s cool to watch, but where’s the substance or the stakes, here??

X & Psylocke use their brain waves to calm down the people in Japan.  Or ‘stop the seed’ as they call it...  [Seed of Proteus’ ever-growing Garden, I presume.]

Inside Proteus’ head, Moira appears to comfort him, but he’s not buying into the illusion.  At least, not at first.

They pull a fast one on Proteus and X gets cocky.  He says that with this kind of power, they could do anything, with a sinister grin.  

The fight on the outside gets somewhat exciting with Gambit & Rogue involved.  Bishop jumps in to try to convert his energy as well.  I like the semblance of teamwork, happening here.  Proteus shrieks, “Why? Why?  Why won’t you ever let me live?”

Then at the end of this issue, X, drunk with power cracks open his skin to reveal that he is really the Shadow King, after all.  [THAT explains those black and white dialogue boxes!]

Issue 12 - This was Soule’s big bad conclusion, and I couldn’t care less by this point.  It was morbid curiosity by this point and a quest for all things to end, which was why I got it at all.  The artistry was way better on this, from Gerardo Sandoval, though.

So despite killing the Shadow King on the Astral Plane, Mystique confirms to Rogue that none of that is real.  He he is, living, breathing before them in the Real World and it’s a double splash page of the whole bunch ganging up on him.

Then we see something crazy.  Shadow King got to Old Man Logan and made him kill himself.  I recall reading that and being super-shocked, thinking that it could actually be permanent.  Everyone else dealt with their own shit as well, and as X narrates “Only Psylocke still stands.”

Psylocke fights him in panels, while we see Bishop feeling guilty that he let the Mindkiller Apocalypse happen.  Gambit apparently tries to kill himself with his cards.

Rogue and Mystique apparently have a fatal embrace with her glove off.  Archangel feels shame, and I think flies himself into space, where he can’t breathe, then lets himself fall to the ground.

But then, we eventually see Xavier put himself back together.  He’s wearing a new outfit now, but still looks young and buff.  He uses his mind powers to help Psylocke defeat the Shadow King.

We get to see more X-Men than just the Astonishing Team, which is neat.  (It’s a bunch of heads in the background, making me believe that it’s a psychic thing.) Betsy asks, “What is this?” and he says, “All of us. Together.”

As if he mentally siphoned the power of every living Mutant, to mentally help them against the Shadow King, I guess.

And it’s their bravery, which seems to shrink the Shadow King into a little bug, which X flicks away.

Betsy asks if he’s Xavier now.  He affirms that he’s still X, but whatever shadow was in him is gone now.

By the end of this, none of them still trust him, and he just tells them, “I said I had gifts for all of you... and so I do.”

[This was kind of interesting.]

He gives Warren choice, so I guess he can go back to Angel, Archangel or just Warren. Whatever he wants whenever he needs...  He gives Remy purpose and tells him to find Fantomex and pay him back whatever he owes him.  He gives Mystique & Rogue understanding.  This one, I don’t care to understand.

He gives Bishop permission to enjoy the world, and not always worry about the future.  He gives Logan vision, to see that he is walking towards the light from his dark past.

And then, the most fucked up, but also brilliant thing is him giving them all Oblivion.  “Forget.”

He tells them.  Then he mind-wipes all of them!  Except for Betsy. She gets to remember.

“For now, you’ll be the only one who knows I’ve returned. You’ll watch me. Keep me honest.”

After they exchange threats, she asks him what their Psychic be-all-end-all was.  She suggests that maybe he could find the stronger empaths, and bring them to the school.

He tells her, nah, though.  “Why would I go back to the School? I’m sure Kitty Pryde has things well in hand.  The school was Professor Charles Xavier’s place.  His dream... There is nothing for me there.” He smirks as the sun sets in the background.

“I am not Xavier. I am X...  I have a new dream.”

-The End-

Jeeeez.  Cool that he’s back, but man oh man.  Where was Soule going with this.  He just planted this giant seed, in hopes that someone else could pick this up and run with it???

I’m not sure if Astonishing got cancelled, or if it was always meant to be a 12-part mini-series.  But either way, Soule’s story was done by this point.

And I was NOT interested in getting Issue 13, with a new writer coming on board.  But I accidentally got it in my pile anyway.  And it was waaaay fucking better than any of this.

All things considered...  I like that Charles is back.  Even if he's younger and different... and, in the background.. and none of this really matters, ‘cause it’ll get reset anyway.

In the meantime, it’s still interesting.  And I guess that’s why I collected this in the first place.  Because it seemed interesting.  So that’s that.