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still-a-morosexual-help · 3 years

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OBEY ME! LESSON 60 DETAILED SUMMARY + DISCUSSION/THEORIES

*I wrote this days after the lesson was first posted and never bothered to go back and edit it so meaning there will be me theorizing about the next lesson as well

*I write a small para for each chapter and I write it immediately after finishing that chapter so there’ll be theorizing about the next chapter too

*I swear more than usual here

*Some of the dialogue is heavily plagiarized and a few is lifted directly from the story, the game is to figure which is which.

*Summaries and Discussions/theories for all the other lessons can be found on this blog under #obey me spoilers or #my theories or #my headcanons

Welp this is it… DAMNNNNNN the last two seasons each had a lesson near the beginning of the season dedicated just to a date with Mammon and I’m praying S4 has one as well and though it sucks Mammon & MC’s hellos and goodbyes are always really sweet and ahhh how am I already missing them. I’m desperate for S4 and I haven’t even finished S3 yet… fuck okay.

Post Lesson 60 edit: The last chapter goodbyes are gonna be direct quotes cause I’m an emotional mess.

As MC is about to head outside Mammon calls out to them and tells them to bring him a cake on the way home, they ask him why he’s been so cold and distant with them lately and he frowns at them and says he doesn’t know what they’re talking about and tells them not to forget the cake and then he leaves. Asmo who had being eavesdropping laughs and says that even for Mammon that was oddly bossy and arrogant. He then asks if he can tag along with them partway cause he’s heading to the spa. As they walk past the lake Asmo tells MC not to hold Mammon’s recent attitude against him and that he’s so upset about having to leave MC again that he doesn’t know what to do with himself and since rn all he can think about is MC he’s not sure how to act around them. Asmo says Mammon’s spending too much time dwelling on this. He looks disappointed and shakes his head when he asks himself what he’s gonna do about Mammon and that he’s being a child. (IS2G Asmo is the number #1 Mammon x MC shipper???????? Relatable) MC asks him if he hasn’t been dwelling on leaving. He asks if they wish he was and says they’re always on his mind and that’s why he doesn’t seem any different now. He says the actual reason he’s still so himself and not outwardly upset is cause he has faith (HA!) that they’ll end back together again like all the previous times they had to separate. He says he’s still sad about having to say goodbye but all that makes him want to do is treasure the moments they have rn. They can hold his hand, kiss him or say that’s a really Asmo thing if him to say. He smiles and says positivity is one of his charms (Asmo ily but weren’t you the one who got drunk and cried and needed to have Satan carry you back home the first time MC left…) They eventually part ways. I’m guessing the order of the rest of the ‘goodbyes’ is gonna be Satan, Mammon and then Lucifer cause those two always end up last in that order…

EYYYYY! They run into satan and ask where he’s off to. He says he’s off to the bookstore to stock on some human books before they head home and asks MC if they want to tag along. He hands them a list and tells them to start looking from the top and that he’ll start from the bottom. He says thwy can use magic as long as no human sees them (ME: thinking back to that one human MC, Belphie and Diavolo scared the shit out of…Hmmmm). They agree and he says that knowing they studied under Solomon makes him feel safe to trust that they know what they’re doing. He says he always knows he can count on them when he needs them and that being in the Devildom without them will be troublesome (I said in the fairy dust/angel lesson that Satan & MC are incredibly similar and that their friendship is highly underrated and I still stand by that.) MC uses magic to lift a book from a high shelf and Satan warns them that someone’s coming making them loose their concentration and the book to come falling down, Satan shields them though and gets hit with it instead. They each ask if the other is alright and he says they need to be more careful that no one sees them (ME: INTENSELY THINKING BACK TO THAT TIME WITH DIAVOLO AND BELPHIE WHEN MC WAS WILLING TO BARBEQUE A MAN FOR FIRING A GUN AT BELPHIE) He blushes and tells them he’ll show what he means and he takes them behind a bookshelf where no one can see and wraps his arms around them and pulls them close (Satan what kinda romance novel pickup line was that??? Also all I can imagine is that SNL bookstore skit with John Cena & Aidy Bryant). MC can kiss him, wrap their arms around him or just thank him for shielding them earlier. He says there’s no need to thank him and that he’s just happy they’re not hurt, He then laughs softly and asks if they’ll be okay once he’s gone. They ask him in turn if he’ll be okay. He blushes and says he won’t and that just thinking about life without them was enough to drive him mad.

At dinner levi asks if everyone is there and Beel looks sad and says Mammon isn’t, Belphie sighs and says he always has to make things difficult. Levi says it’s okay and he gets it and that Mammon obviously thinks dinner’s gonna suck since Levi made it and holy shit can we pls take Levi to a therapist pls? Belphie says Levi’s beating himself up for no reason and Levi goes on a rant about how he’s an ultra-negative, depressing otaku and how no one likes being around him ajndsvddjsnk LEVI pls!!? (unrelated but Levi’s actually my third favourite) Belphie asks MC to go get Mammon and Beel tells them to hurry. They knock and enter his room. They ask him what he’s doing and he says he was just watching a shark movie Satan gave him. He asks if they’re here to tell him about dinner and that they should head back and eat and not to worry about him. He looks upset and says he’s not in the mood to eat. They say they’re really gonna miss him and he’s eyes widen for a sec before he looks away and asks if they’re some sorta kid. He then laughs though and says they’re not the only one who feels that way. He blushes and says of course he’s gonna miss them too and that they already knew that. He asks if there isn’t some other way for them to stay together forever. He says that being a sorcerer they have to make something happen. They can say a.) that despite being a sorcerer they’re still pretty green and he laughs and says the one time he needs them they’re no use at all. He blushes and tells them to hurry up and ‘ripen’ and that a green sorcerer won’t cut it. B.) being a demon he should make something happen. He says if there was something he could do he woulda done it a long time ago. Looking aside again he says hanging out with them and talking about dumb stuff is something he takes for granted and he just realized he won’t be able to do it again anytime soon, he says that once he’s back in the devildom life would be dull and that once he used to be happy as long as he had money but after they met that was ruined. And now during his free time he thinks about them and feels all worried and unsettled. He blushes and asks them to stay with him and keep him company since all this is their fault. Belphie texts them asking where the fuck they are they say they’ll have dinner with Mammon later, he then wishes them luck with Mammon.

In the music room Levi’s bemoaning how he understands that any coffee he makes won’t be good enough while a wide eyed Asmo asks him what he’s talking about cause as you can see Asmo is drinking his coffee, Levi says he never admitted it was good though. Asmo smiles and reassures him that it’s actually good and asks Belphie to back him up. Belphie says he wants no part of any of this which immediately crumbles all of Asmo’s hard work and makes Levi depressed. Lucifer pops his head in and once he spots MC asks them to come to his room. They ask what he wants to talk about, he says he’ll tell them when he gets there. To the room as a whole he says that Diavolo wants them all at the hotel the next day. This surprises both Mammon & Beel, and Satan asks if there’s another problem at the hotel, making everyone turn and eye Levi who turns red and protests. In his room Lucifer asks if MC knows why he called them and they say nope. He asks if they really don’t know or if they’re just playing dumb. When they don’t answer he says it’s about why Diavolo called them to the hotel. He says Diavolo hasn’t told him the reason behind it and asks if MC knows, saying that for Diavolo not to tell him it has to be either something that’ll supremely piss off Lucifer or something that Diavolo finds fun and exciting that Lucifer won’t like but will have to endure. They say they don’t know anything about it. He says, “what do you think you can lie to me? Have you forgotten who the fuck I am exactly!?” When they still remain silent he drops the blank faced glare and laughs saying he can take a guess at what’s going on considering they’re not willing to share. He says considering this is them they’re probably gonna do something nice for them and he tells them they’re really sweet, they tell him not to stop and to keep stroking their ego (or they can ask for a reward). He says he may considering how things go tomorrow. He then pauses and says he’s actually in the mood to indulge them today so he’ll sing their praises just for today. (They can ask if he’s sad about saying goodbye, he says yes and then blushes and says obviously that means they’re spending the night in his room – I noped out at this point. Is it weird that Lucifer’s the only brother I can’t see MC platonically sharing a bed with?) They then tease him saying this is very unlike him. He blushes and agrees, saying that when he’s with them he doesn’t have to be the avatar of pride but that’s okay because they love all the different sides of him (I thought this was really sweet, Lucifer needs to know that there’s someone who loves him as a whole even the parts of him that are massive jerks and I love that this interaction can be read as either romantic or platonic. He smiles and says he’s looking forward for tomorrow.

The brothers are all surprised when from the hotel they are taken to the currently most popular club in the human world that has been reserved all for them, with Simeon making all the food and Luke making cakes. Luke tries his best to protect the food from Beel while Satan and Mammon say how surprise they were by Barbatos’s magic making them walk out into the club after walking into the hotel. MC asks if they like it and Lucifer says of course they do and thanks them for doing this. Solomon says he has a present for all of them too, Levi worries that he cooked for them (though he asks it with the sweetest smile cause all these demons are still hanging on to not letting Solomon know his food is toxic waste in case it hurts his feelings) and Lucifer whispers to MC that if so they might all die here. Solomon says he had offered to help cook but Simeon had insisted he had it all handled (he looks awfully disappointed when saying this). Mammon cheers on Simeon and Belphie says “…yeah I never thought I’d owe my life to Simeon but here we are” Their real present is Solomon lighting up the room with what, according to Belphie, looks like a fallen star. Asmo gushes about how beautiful it is. Beel asks if he can eat it. Levi laughs and tells him he better not. Diavolo says they should officially start the party and everyone cheers. In a side lounge area Simeon says seeing the brothers enjoying the party so much makes all the effort feel worth it, Barbatos says he’s just happy seeing Diavolo having so much fun and he thanks MC. They say they could never have done it without their help in the first place. Simeon says it was MC to got them all working together to make this happen in the first place. Levi then arrives to come drag MC towards the karaoke (which Diavolo insisted they have – poor man’s still trying to sing a duet with Lucifer I see)

Satan and Asmo complain about Levi hogging the mic and singing anime songs, he yells at them for not understanding the raw passion and energy of anime songs (which isn’t that true? Anime songs have a unique kinda passion that makes you hyped that I’ve never being able to find in other songs..). Levi tells MC to forget about them and MC asks to sing a duet. Levi says he’ll queue up a bunch of duets and Mammon yells at Levi for hogging the mic and using this as an opportunity to hit on MC. Levi laughs and says that he’s not swooping in and doing anything the way Mammon said and that MC wants to sing with him. Mammon then blushes and demands to sing the next duet with them from MC. Asmo then calls the one after that and Mammon asks Beel & Belphie what they’re doing. They’re mixing drinks. MC says there new drink (demonous with scorpion powder and something else) sounds really good (cause they’re a freak like that) Belphie says the flavours do seem to go surprisingly well together and he asks Mammon to try some. He protests saying they just want to use him as a guinea pig. Lucifer’s drawn to the commotion and says they all seem to be fun, Levi asks if he wants to sing next and he says later, he then thanks MC for planning a fun surprise for them and that they were able to create some nice final memories in the human world before heading home. MC says they’ll share more great times together and Lucifer laughs and agrees saying this won’t be the last time they’re all together and this is just one of many happy memories they’ll share in the future. When they go back to the lounge area Solomon says they could hear them all talking, singing and laughing all the way from over here despite the music, emphasizing that they could hear Levi the most. Diavolo asks them to come sit and pours them another drink and says they were all talking about them and how they helped them enjoy their time in the human realm. He thanks them from the bottom of his heart. Solomon says last time they were all together in the Devildom and this time it was in the human realm and asks where they should be together next. Luke is surprised he’s already thinking about the next time. He laughs and says it’s cause he can barely wait for the next time they are all together. MC can suggest one of the three worlds. (personally I chose the Devildom cause the brothers aren’t allowed in the Celestial Realm and as much as I am completely in love with Mammon’s human world look I miss the aesthetic of the Devildom.) Diavolo laughs and says he’s happy they’ve taken such a liking to the Devildom and that he’d love for them to come back and that the brothers will be thrilled too. From the distance and getting closer they hear Lucifer telling his brothers to quit pushing him. Mammon tells him to just hurry up and go inside. Levi says Lucifer has to be with them or they won’t be taken seriously. Lucifer groans and asks if they’re actually planning on saying “this to him”. “Of course.” Says Satan. Belphie says it’s at least worth asking. Asmo agrees saying anything’s possible if you put your mind to it. They all tumble into the lounge area and Solomon asks what brings them all here. Lucifer looking tired says that his brothers have something to ask Diavolo. Mammon tells Lucifer not to act as if he isn’t part of this and as if it hasn’t been on his mind too. Diavolo chuckles and asks what they want to ask. Beel says they’ve all been thinking about something for a while now and they want to discuss it with him. The brothers all together yell: “We want MC to join the family!” GUUUUUYYYYSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!? Not me softly sobbing at the image this makes in my head ahhhhhhh!??????? AHHHHHH!?????????? MC’s shocked and speechless. Asjvfkjffvuiefhi pls don’t give me hope like this wtf and what do they mean by join the family cause I don’t mind Lucifer more or less adopting them, and like Beel said they already seem to be a part of the family but MC brought up proposals with A LOT of the brothers so is that what they mean? Like marriage??? But they’re all asking and other than Beel & Belphie wanting to share with each other and Asmo being open to threesomes none of them want to share MC so……. Also I do not see my OM! MC getting married at all but at the same time if it was to squirrel their way into a permanent position in the family then…

Diavolo’s wide-eyed and stunned silent, and then he asks “…huh!?” Solomon bursts out laughing. Luke is red faced and tells Solomon this is no time to laugh. Solomon still laughing chokes out that he’s never seen Diavolo so stunned. Luke pauses and then asks what exactly they mean by ‘join the family’ and then he turns red and demands if they mean marrying MC. The brothers obviously haven’t really thought about what ‘join the family’ means and only now realise it can imply marriage. Asmo immediately volunteers. Mammon red faced protests to MC marrying Asmo and then stuttering says that if they’re gonna marry anyone they should marry him (he screams the last part out after struggling through the first part). Levi gets pissed saying if MC marries a scumbag like Mammon they’d have a dark, terrible future (watch me put together a 200 slide presentation refuting this) Belphie tells Asmo and Mammon to back off before they mess things up. Lucifer, looking dead tired, says it’s already a mess. Diavolo goes, “Umm…Lucifer?” and asks him to explain what’s going on. He says the others want MC around on a permanent basis so they don’t have to say goodbye ever and they put their heads together and decided on this. “Marriage!?” goes Luke. Solomon says the demons hadn’t thought how they’d make them part of the family. Lucifer tells Satan that he can look at the others like they’re a band of idiots but to leave him outta it. Solomon asks MC what they think of all this and they say they want to be part of the family too (it’s implied through out the main storyline that generally MC’s someone who’s very calm and collected and who while being incredibly blunt doesn’t express their emotions outwardly much (at the beginning of S2 Lucifer even comments on them being more expressive than before they left) but I’d like to imagine at this moment they are wet eyed and beaming because of these loveable idiots who ARE their family even if it’s not official). Diavolo smiles and says he sees. Luke has problems with humans and demons mixing and being a family (LUKE I THOUGHT WE WERE OVER THIS!?) “Yes, Luke. I know…” says Diavolo. His face then becomes serious and he’s silent and contemplative. Diavolo looks at MC and says that though they aren’t aware of it there’s still bad blood amongst the three worlds and that no matter how much they all want to be a family and stay together it’s not within his power to let that happen. He looks upset and apologizes. Lucifer is silent. He says though that his goal is to one day remove these barriers between the worlds and that he’ll do everything in his power to make that happen, and as the future demon king he promises that one day he’ll make it so that they can marry anyone in this room (I’m screaming just MC – queer as hell and with they/them pronouns waiting in the human world for marriage to get legalized only to fall in love with someone from another world and having to wait AGAIN for marriage to be legalized… I’d have lost my entire shit.) “WELL, isn’t that good for you, you apprentice poaching motherfuckers but guess what I’m a human meaning WE can get married in the meantime… CHECKMATE, BITCHES~” says Solomon. Mammon actually snaps at Solomon and calls him a “son of a –“ before he remembers the child in the room and trails off and snaps at him not to say stuff like that. Belphie asks if Solomon can even be classified as a human given his age. (Can MC even be classified as fully human given the whole Lilith situation? I mean ik Lilith was reincarnated as a human but she still kept and passed on her supernatural magic. Plus there’s a Belphie devilgram that takes places pre S1 that implies MC’s not fully human plus that whole thing about fairy hallucination angel!Lucifer not taking MC’s word for it when they said they were human… it’s very likely though everyone here’s too dumb to realise it). Satan says at this point Solomon might as well be a demon. Asmo tells him not to pretend to be a human when it’s convenient. He laughs and says that even though he can’t grow old or die he still belongs to the human race. Beel says that maybe but Solomon isn’t playing fair, Levi agrees and says Solomon’s also making him jealous. Diavolo says MC sure is popular seeing as they are all fighting over them. Lucifer says he knew this would happen and that’s why he didn’t want them to have this discussion. Luke’s shocked that MC’s got demons and the world’s greatest sorcerer wrapped around their finger, MC asks him if he sees them in a new light now. Luke says he thinks it’s impressive but it also creeps him out.

Back near the dance floor, Satan laughs and says Beel’s eating too much, Beel says Satan’s drinking too much, Satan who actually seems tipsy says he’s nowhere near his limit and challenges Beel to a competition to see who reaches their drink/food limit first, Beel agrees. Given how much beel can eat I can only assume this is the last we see of Satan RIP. Barbatos, looking uncharacteristically extremely worried, tells them to slow down cause neither of them know to stop. Levi, finishing up his song, calls for Luke who booked next but Mammon says Simeon went to put the “little guy” to sleep and asks Levi to come play cards instead. Lucifer, who’s playing with Mammon, asks if he hasn’t lost enough at this point, Mammon turns red and says this time he’s gonna win it all back. Asmo laughs and says Mammon just jinxed himself. Belphie asks why MC’s looking around the room so restlessly and they can say A.) I don’t see Diavolo anywhere B.) where’s Solomon? Either way the answer is he has no idea where Solomon went but he did see Diavolo head out earlier. He says the two of them are probably together talking. MC finds Diavolo and asks what he’s up to. He says he wanted a break and to gaze at the city lights and sober up a little since he won’t be able to see them again for awhile. He asks them to sit next to him and then laughs and says he could barely believe his ears after he heard what the brothers asked. He says he’s known the seven of them for a long time and knows how close they are and that it’s unbelievable that they’d want to include someone new to the family (MY HEART!? ALSO FOUND FAMILY TROPE!) He says it almost makes him jealous. They say that they know for a fact that he’s very important to the brothers too. He’s like “thanks for saying that but rn you’re either playing dumb or you actually are this dumb which makes me question my taste but then again I’m also in love with Lucifer so…” and he says he’s jealous of the brothers not them (Sure, Jan. We know you’re jealous of them both don’t lie). He says he feels the same as them and blushes and says he keeps thinking about how it could be if they were together forever (Sir, pls Lucifer is right there. He’s available. Pls.) He says if their relationship was on that level and if their bond was deep and permanent like those of a family he can’t even imagine how amazing that’d be (he keeps repeating ‘family’ and the brothers weren’t even thinking marriage when they asked for MC to be part of their family and Diavolo was really shocked and he now said specifically it was them asking about being ‘family’ before Luke even first mentioned marriage that made Diavolo jealous. What I’m saying is that considering Diavolo’s lonely, strict childhood the one thing he wants more than anything is a family not marriage specifically). He smiles and says they beat him to the punch and that he asks them to give him time cause he’s gonna do everything he can to mend the bridges between the three worlds for MC and for the brothers…and a little bit for himself. He gives them his word.

Out on the balcony Solomon greets them and asks if they shouldn’t be down with the others, they say they needed a break and wanted to talk to him, he wonders if the others would be pissed if they knew Solomon had MC all to himself. He says he figured he’d stay out of the way today and let MC and the demons spend time together considering he’ll have enough time to hang out with them later. He says he can’t believe they asked MC to join the family and that he didn’t see that coming. He starts laughing again about how serious they looked and how shocked Diavolo looked, and how Lucifer looked like he had a migraine (Ik we all say Lucifer’s the sadist but have we considered…) MC asks if he really thinks it’s that funny (and I’m pretty sure they’re offended on the brothers’ behalf and hurt cause that’s what they want too.) Solomon says for him it’s funny. He says it’s common of a demon to ask for a business arrangement or a pact but he’s never heard of them asking humans to join their family. He smiles and says he’s beginning to think he chose a “truly incredible” human as his apprentice. MC asks what the demons in his life are to him, he gives it serious thought and said these days he sees them as close friends. MC asks if things were different earlier and he says they were but also asks that they not get into things rn cause the story is long and tedious, MC asks if he’s just trying to avoid their question and if he’s gonna tell them the truth or not. He laughs and says nope and that though you can’t tell it by looking at him he’s a little too tipsy. He reminds them that they’re barely a sorcerer rn and that they should leave questions like that for later until they can use “magic like this” without an incantation. He uses magic to teleport the others on to the balcony (what a snake. Imagine instead of going to a crowd to escape a conversation you use your magic to bring the crowd to you to avoid a conversation AND to set a line for MC to reach before they can start poking at his past.) Asmo says he’s being wondering where the two of them went and how naughty it was to sneak off together, Levi complains about being cut halfway through a song, Beel asks MC to judge his eating competition with Satan and Satan says it’s actually a drinking competition. Barbatos looking deeply concerned asks if the two of them intend to empty the hotel’s pantry AND its wine cellar. He asks MC to stop them. Lucifer’s goading Mammon and kicking his ass in a card game and Mammon refuses to give up (HC that Lucifer taught Mammon to play cards up in the Celestial Realm as a way to get him to sit still and NOT set the drapes on fire). Belphie comments on the card game and the party continues. (Pretty sure Solomon saw the demons as pawns or tools to get what he wants/ for more power and that he was much more ruthless with making pacts with them than he is now when he pesters Lucifer (aka getting Asmo drunk while he was upset and making a pact) the question is why? And why did Michael basically sponsor this? We know that the Celestial Realm and Devildom had just called a truce when Michael took an interest in Solomon so could it be that he wanted someone to keep an eye on the demons and the best way to do that was to have a powerful human sorcerer make as many pacts with demons as possible. I mean Solomon made a pact with Asmo mostly because he was Lucifer’s brother and Michael still has a heavy interest in the brothers so it could be possible that he wanted Solomon to make a pact with one of them so that he could see what they were doing?)

LAST ONE GUYS! :) I’m okay really :)))))))) Outside the manor in the morning, Barbatos tells Diavolo it’s time and Diavolo looking really sad agrees. (RIGHT OFF THE BAT HUH!?) Even Solomon seems upset when he realizes it’s time and then that damn song starts playing, that ending song that always chokes me up and this time it doesn’t feel as sad as last season because honestly the “Till we meet again” party really helped while last season all the brothers tried to run away with MC and that shit HURT but it still makes me choked up FUCK I want them back so badly. Diavolo comes up to MC and says they have to return and that though they weren’t here for a long time it was really fun. “So, till we meet again, MC” he ends with. Barbatos thanks them for all they did to make their stay in the human world more comfortable. He says next time they meet he’ll prepare a special tea for them that he’s sure they’ll like. From here we’re going to direct quotes because I am EMOTIONAL:

Mammon says, while not meeting their eyes: …Listen, why’re you sittin’ around twiddling your thumbs, huh? I saw how hard you worked to become a sorcerer, so I know you got it in ya. (He blushes, still not meeting their eyes) Hurry up and learn summoning magic ASAP! You big dummy… (he finally looks up at them and smiles) And once you learn it, you’d better summon ME first! All right? You promise, right? (MC can either hug or kiss him….AND YOU GUYS MUST KNOW ME BY NOW SO MC just kisses him in front of all the brothers just like that????????? – he blushes and looks away again) Dammit, now I wanna take you back to the Devildom with me… (He meets their eyes one more time, face still red)

Levi says, blushing and looking aside: …You know that game we were playing? Final Devil Kingdom… (He looks up at them, still blushing) Well, I’ve decided not to make any more progress in it until I see you next. (He smiles brightly then) So we need to get together and play it again as soon as possible, okay? I mean, I’m dying to move on to the next dungeon… (He looks up at them with a sad expression then and they can either hug or kiss him and look I love Levi but I’ve already made my choice so MC hugs him – he blushes and gets a determined expression on his face) I’m going to be messaging you a lot, okay? So… don’t ignore my texts, or I’ll cry. (He smiles at them one more time)

Satan says, looking confident and meeting their eyes: …There are several cats who come by the manor for food each day. Make sure to take care of them for me. If you’re on the job, I feel like I can rest easy knowing they’ll be okay. (He frowns, blushes and looks away then) But keep in touch. Let me know how the cats are doing every day. Got it? Every day. (They hug him and he laughs and then says with a smile) Knowledge is power. The more you have, the better off you’ll be. So study hard, and learn to stand on your own two feet as a sorcerer as soon as you can.

Asmo says, looking really upset but making eye contact: No matter how I dress myself up or how cute I make my nails and makeup, if I can’t show it to the one I love the most, it won’t be fun at all. (He smiles then) So, I’ve decided to think about it this way… I have to strive to make myself more and more beautiful with each passing day! 🤍 (He smiles even more brightly) So that one day you’ll fall for me completely and then you’ll be all mine! How does that sound? (MC hugs him and he giggles, and says smiling) I’m going to put a little something extra on my hug! 🤍 (he squeezes them closer)

Beel says with a soft smile looking in at them: …It was fun getting to eat together with you every day here human world, MC. (His smile brightens) You know, when you’re with the right person, good food has a way of tasting even better. I want to be able to eat with you all the time, every single day. I want that to be normal. And I’m going to do whatever I can to make it so that someday soon, it really will be like that. (MC hugs him and he blushes and smiles and says) Make sure you eat enough, okay? Take care of yourself.

Belphie says also with a soft smile, making eye contact: I’m glad I got this chance to live here in the human world. Spending each day together with you in your world has been incredibly fun. (He looks sad and looks to the side) …Having to go to sleep every night in a house without you in it from now on is going to be really sad, and really lonely. (MC hugs them and he blushes but his expression is still sad and he doesn’t make eye contact) Take care, MC…

Lucifer’s wearing that fond smile that makes his eyes squint shut and he says: …Never did I imagine that one day, I’d find it this hard to say goodbye to you. I’ve managed to shock even myself. (He looks up at them then) Once I’m back in the Devildom, where I can’t see you anymore, this feeling is probably going to grow even worse. I hope this is every bit as difficult for you as it is for me. (MC hugs him) …Let’s make sure we see each other again sooner rather than later. (He gives that soft fond smile again)

Barbatos opens the portal. Solomon tells them all to take care. There’s a flash of bright light and the opening song starts playing. “MC!” Yells Mammon with a bright smile before he jumps in. “Toodles!” Says a beaming, waving Asmo. “Till next time!” says Levi with a small smile. “Take care of yourself!” Says a brightly smiling Belphie. “Bye…” Says Beel with a smile. “See you around.” Says Satan with a smile. “See you next time.” Says Lucifer with a nod of his head and a smile. “Goodybe, MC.” Says Diavolo with a bright smile. There’s another flash and the portal’s closed and they’re all gone. The credits play thanking all the main and side character VAs over human world backgrounds and YOU! Back in front of the manor Solomon says it suddenly got so quiet that he feels lonely. MC’s silent and doesn’t answer him. “Hey,” he says after a bit, “didn’t they officially hire you as their “babysitter” because you came here looking for a job, you know that thing you need to be able to survive independent adult life in the human world… Did they ever pay you for that?” “…SON OF A B–” At the angel’s halo Simeon tells a sad, silent Luke that the others must have gone back home by now, Luke quietly agrees. Simeon laughs and asks if that bothers Luke. Luke blushes, stutters and denies it. Luke tries to change the topic by telling Simeon to hurry up and grind some coffee cause they’re about to open. Simeon says they still have enough time and Luke says he’s gonna take out the trash and runs out back to avoid his feelings and this conversation. Simeon laughs. The door opens and Simeon turns to tell them they’re not opened yet but trails off. ??? says, “I can see that, yes…” Simeon’s eyes widen and his mouth turns down, he’s too shocked to say anything. ??? says, “Well, look at you. I could almost believe you really are a human, brother…” Simeon’s entire face goes blank and settles on a cold emotionless expression though he still doesn’t reply before he slowly smiles, “…Welcome. So glad you could stop by, Raphael.” And the chapter, the lesson and the season is over. So…SO…you know I don’t even have words really. I’m not, we really are getting new characters aren’t we. I mean I said in some of the earlier summaries that at this point with the way they were hyping up the angels in this season that it only makes sense to bring them in BUT I never 100% believed they would and now I’m just???? They really are gonna do it holy fuck GUYS!? I need S4 badly like rn immediately but given that the break between S2 and S3 was really small AND that they maybe introducing at least 2 new characters the break between S3 and S4 might be longer AND I get it y’know but still I desperately need this now. Holy shit. And Simeon’s facial expressions! How he looked surprised and upset and then how his face just shut down (something we rarely or never? See from him) and then how it smoothed out into a smile ajsdvbkdwhskcjksk Raphael’s way of speaking fit exactly with what I imagined after what Asmo, Lucifer and Belphie said about him. This kinda formal, authoritative, cold, distant way. And the tension between him and Simeon!? “BROTHER!????” Does he mean brother in the same way as the Sins do or is it more brother in arms the way I see Lucifer and Simeon being in the Celestial Realm? It felt cold compared to them. Pls give me a heavily dysfunctional, distant and cold angel family to contrast with the dysfunctional but close and loving demon family I WILL SCREAM. I’ve screamed all my angel and celestial realm theories in the previous summaries (there are a lot) so I’m not gonna go into detail about them here but I will say I’m keeping my fingers crossed for morally dubious/grey angels who believe they are completely in the right at all times and I’m deeply scared of getting at least part of S4 without the brothers as we are introduced to the angels – I mean don’t get me wrong I’d love if they took time to introduce us to the angels without the brothers’ dynamics with them being involved and to give us a chance to hear their side of the story before they have the whole reunion between everyone BUT I’ll also feel the heavy withdrawal effects of being deprived of the brothers so yeah. Overall the goodbye to the brothers felt far more uplifting than last season’s one given that they ended with the upbeat opening song and not the melancholic sounding ending song. WOW okay. I’m gonna try and get through the hard lessons and unlock the chapters I couldn’t since S2. SEE YOU NEXT SEASON! LOVE AK 🤍

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blue-writes-things · 4 years

Text

Loved By A Heartbreaker | Chapter Two

Sirius Black x Reader | Fluff

“…You know sometimes I still get afraid of what’s around me, but I feel safer when I’m with you.”

| Masterlist | Series Masterlist |

Words: 1743 A/N: the 3 written chapters are all up here! just working on the mastlist post now (doing a few of them) chapter 4 is coming alone! I’ve jsut been kinda busy so I can’t write much new stuff, but I’m going to be posting all my old stuff here! Inspo Playlist

Feedback is always appreciated! - Blue

Lily and James dating was cute

Remus being genuinely happy single was sweet

Peter trying to date was disturbing at best

Sirius trying to date you was tiring

You and Lily were the first out of your friend group to get to the great hall for breakfast.

But the calm chatter in the hall was disturbed as The Marauders came racing into the room and sat down as fast as they could.

“Ha! Wormy you lost” Sirius taunted as Peter finally sat down “Have fun cleaning under James’s bed” Peter didn’t seem to care in that moment, he was more focused on not passing out, he was quite the sight, sweating, red faced and panting (Even though it’s not even that far from the Gryffindor Tower to the great hall)

“Seems we got three dogs here by the way he’s panting” James laughed getting playfully shoved by both Sirius and Remus.

“And good morning to you” You and Lily laughed.

Sirius wrapped his arm around your shoulders “Good morning, marshmallow”

No one in the group wasn’t laughing.

“I think that’s the worst one yet Pads” you said as everyone started calming down “Do you even know what a marshmallow is?”

Since Sirius grew up in a very pureblood environment he didn’t know much about the muggle world, cause if he even looked at something not ‘drenched in abracadabra’ he would get punished. So the little he knew mostly came from you and Lily.

“Yes! You use them to make s’mores” He looked rather proud of himself for knowing that “And I call you marshmallow, as I want s’more of you” He winked, everyone at the table was groaning at the pun.

“You’re driving me wild with these nicknames Siri” You shake your head, shrugging his arm off you “And you’re driving me wild” he smirks and winks, he loves twisting your words into a flirt.

“You walked into that one Y/n” James laughed, making the group laugh along with him. The conversation continued cheerfully. Sirius slipping his hand to your knee, you had raised your eyebrow at him, but didn’t move his hand. Just to tease him. Not because it felt nice, cause it didn’t. Right?

A familiar owl flew down to your group, it was The Noble and Most Ancient House of Assholes’s owl, as Sirius untied the letter getting a small nip from the owl, the rest of the group were exchanging knowing looks.

“You don’t have to open it Sirius” Remus gave a smile, everyone went back to their food and didn’t stare or intrude on the conversation.

“I know I don’t have to, and I probably shouldn’t, but what if it’s important?” Sirius turned the letter over, looking at the family's wax stamp. You quickly snatched it from his hand and slid it into your robes

Sirius was about to object but before he could, James called “Pads! Wormy! last too class has to clean under Peter’s bed”

You, Lily and Remus smile standing up walking out of the hall “Do you think they’ll realise we have half an hour till class?”

The three of you laugh “Ok, but question for you, why are the consequences cleaning under eachothers beds?” Lily asked

“There’s some scary shit under them, socks are even too scared to go under them” He almost shudders.

“What do you mean ‘scary shit’? What’s under them?” Lily asked as you turned a corner “You don’t wanna know Lily, I’ve been in there, the beds growl at night”

“Wait, why were you in the boys dorm?” She smirks, her mind went to you and Sirius ‘having fun’ yeah no, that will never happen. You and Remus look at eachother, knowing the real reason

You know about Remus’s ‘furry little problem’ and have helped him at night several times, mostly on bad nights when the other boys are exhausted too. You’ll stay there till Remus is asleep and sneak back to your dorm which is difficult, since it looks like Filch’s office is on their floor (It probably is)

You really didn’t want to give Sirius the letter, knowing it would upset him, you just hoped he forgot about it. As curfew hits and the gang are all ‘winding down’ which is doing what you all normally do, just in the common room.

You and Sirius were sitting rather comfortably together, you were on a single armchair and he was on the floor in front of the chair so you could tie his hair up for bed, so ‘My lushes locks aren't a mess in the morning’ although he just liked you playing with his hair though (But he would never admit it out loud) . You were the only person he would let touch his hair.

“Hey Y/n? can I have my letter?” He tilted his head up to look at you “Say please” You tease with a smirk, he playfully rolls his eyes at you “Pretty please” he gives you puppy dog eyes, something you could rarely say no to. You pass it to him, pulling his hair out of it’s bun and starting again, giving him head scratches every so often, knowing he loved it when you did that.

He opened it and the classic Sirius grin face fell slightly. He scoffs, throwing the letter into the fire before sitting back against the chair.

“You ok- “ James started after seeing the whole scene play out but Sirius cut him off “Yeah, I’m all good Prongs, just the normal shit, nothing interesting” he shrugs.

“Yeah?” Lily questions

“I thought it was next week! Oh merlin” You slump forward “Welp, I’m going to be up past 3am”

Looking at the clock above the fireplace “Urg, you guys should head to bed. Don’t wanna be around when I have my breakdown” everyone chuckles

“You sure you don’t want someone to stay with you?” Remus frowns “I could stay up and help if you want?”

“That’s very kind Rem, but I promise I’ll be ok” You smile “Now go to bed!” You shoo everyone away and summon some parchment, a quill and your Herbology book, before shuffling over to the coffee table by the fire. Sirius came over and sat next to you, before you could object he put his finger to your lips, shushing you “I’m not leaving, don’t bother trying” he smiles with a wink.

The two of you talked for a bit while you did your work, before falling into a comfortable silence. It was nice to have Sirius being chill, not flirting or touching you. Strangely, it made you a bit nervous, something about his postuare, how his hair was a mess. Even though you had just put it up he seemed like he was off in a far away land and not next to you.

“Sirius?” You said softly but he just continued to stare into the fire “Siri?” You repeated a little louder. Still nothing.

“Padfoot?” You used his nickname, maybe that would help bring him out of it quicker but he didn’t even flinch. At this point you were getting scared.

You knew in the back of your head this would be a dumb thing to do. But the stressed out front of your brain was screaming at you to help him. “Pads?” You slowly and gently place your hand on the one Sirius had laid on the table next to you and that snapped him out of it.

He instantly jolted, letting out a snarl and grabbed your wrist in a death grip, his nails digged into your skin, leaving indents on your wrist from his nails. “Siri, It’s just me, Y/n” His brain seemed to be trying to process who you were, but something was clouding his mind.

“Sirius, you're at Hogwarts. It’s just me and you. You are safe”

Those last three words seemed to clear his vision. His eyes softened, the tight grip he had on your wrist changed from ‘I’m going to break your wrist’ into ‘I’m going to break’

“Safe?” Sirius whispered so softly you almost missed it.

This time it was more like he was making a statement to himself. You gave him a gentle smile and nodded your head.

You placed your other hand to his cheek, he flinched at first but when he realized you weren’t going to hurt him. He leaned into your hand closing his eyes.

That gesture is what made a tear fall down your cheek. That this hurt and scared boy trusted you enough to close his eyes. Knowing you weren’t going to hurt him in any way. Knowing you would only do the opposite, keep him safe from harm, you pull him into a hug, he buries his face in the crook of your neck and bunches your shirt in his hands.

“You know sometimes I still get afraid of what’s around me, but I feel safer when I’m with you.“ He mumbled as he started to settle down, it was clear that he was still shaken by whatever he was thinking about, but being in your warm embrace, mixed with your words, he felt safe.

“You know, Sirius, I’m gonna be real with you. Sometimes I find you a real pain in the arse, but you are one of my closest friends. And I hope you know I’m always here for you” you gave him a small kiss on his temple, you knew he didn’t want pity, in fact he hated being pitied, he needed a friend.

Sirius Black is going to be safe with you

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they-write-once-in-a-blue-moon · 4 years

Text

Loved By A Heartbreaker Chapter Two

Sirius Black x Reader

“...You know sometimes I still get afraid of what’s around me, but I feel safer when I’m with you.”

Chapter One - Chapter Two

Words: 1744

Warnings: The end is angsty fluff and alludes to flashbacks / panic attacks, and I said shit like 3 times

A/N: Sorry it took me like 2 weeks to post this, I wanted to make it good! tags are at the end! Inspiration Playlist

Feedback is always appreciated! Sending love from the moon

- Blue

Lily and James dating was cute Remus being genuinely happy single was sweet Peter trying to date was disturbing at best Sirius trying to date you was tiring

You and Lily were the first out of your friend group to get to the great hall for breakfast. But the calm chatter in the hall was disturbed as The Marauders came racing into the room and sat down as fast as they could.

“Seems we got three dogs here by the way he’s panting” James laughed getting playfully shoved by both Sirius and Remus.

“And good morning to you” You and Lily laughed.

Sirius wrapped his arm around your shoulders “Good morning, marshmallow” No one in the group wasn’t laughing.

“I think that’s the worst one yet Pads” you said as everyone started calming down “Do you even know what a marshmallow is?”

“You don’t have to open it Sirius” Remus gave a smile, everyone went back to their food and didn’t stare or intrude on the conversation.

“Important or not, you can read it later. We have History Of Magic in three minutes, and it’s on the other side of the castle, so we better haul ass if we wanna get there in time and not get a detention” Sirius was about to object but before he could, James called “Pads! Wormy! last too class has to clean under Peter’s bed”

And he took off, Sirius going after him straight away “Oi! Tosser that’s cheating!” He calls after him laughing. Peter, who’s face had only just turned back to sickly white. “Why am I always roped into this?” he sighs before taking off as well. You, Lily and Remus smile standing up walking out of the hall “Do you think they’ll realise we have half an hour till class?”

The three of you laugh “Ok, but question for you, why are the consequences cleaning under eachothers beds?” Lily asked

“There’s some scary shit under them, socks are even too scared to go under them” He almost shudders.

“What do you mean ‘scary shit’? What’s under them?” Lily asked as you turned a corner “You don’t wanna know Lily, I’ve been in there, the beds growl at night” “Wait, why were you in the boys dorm?” She smirks, her mind went to you and Sirius ‘having fun’ yeah no, that will never happen. You and Remus look at eachother, knowing the real reason

You and Sirius were sitting rather comfortably together, you were on a single armchair and he was on the floor in front of the chair so you could tie it up for bed, so ‘My lushes locks isn’t a mess in the morning’ although he just liked you playing with his hair though (But he would never admit it out loud) . You were the only person he would let touch his hair.

He opened it and the classic Sirius grin face fell slightly. He scoffs, throwing the letter into the fire before sitting back against the chair.

“You ok- “ James started after seeing the whole scene play out but Sirius cut him off “Yeah, I’m all good Prongs, just the normal shit, nothing interesting” he shrugs.

The group goes quiet for a moment before Lily fills the silence. “Everyone finished the Herbology paper? It’s due tomorrow” Everyone nodded, except you, your eyes went wide “It’s due tomorrow?” “Yeah?” Lily questions “I thought it was next week! Oh merlin” You slump forward “Welp, I’m going to be up past 3am”

Looking at the clock above the fireplace “Urg, you guys should head to bed. Don’t wanna be around when I have my breakdown” everyone chuckles “You sure you don’t want someone to stay with you?” Remus frowns “I could stay up and help if you want?”

“Sirius?” You said softly but he just continued to stare into the fire “Siri?” You repeated a little louder. Still nothing.

“Padfoot?” You used his nickname, maybe that would help bring him out of it quicker but he didn’t even flinch. At this point you were getting scared.

“Sirius, you're at Hogwarts. It’s just me and you. You are safe” Those last three words seemed to clear his vision. His eyes softened, the tight grip he had on your wrist changed from ‘I’m going to break your wrist’ into ‘I’m going to break’

“Safe?” Sirius whispered so softly you almost missed it.

“Yes safe, you’re safe with me” Moving slowly you take his hand, removing it from breaking your wrist and intertwining your fingers together, giving his hand a soft reassuring squeeze. “I’m safe.” This time it was more like he was making a statement to himself. You gave him a gentle smile and nodded your head.

You placed your other hand to his cheek, he flinched at first but when he realized you weren’t going to hurt him. He leaned into your hand closing his eyes.

“You know sometimes I still get afraid of what’s around me, but I feel safer when I’m with you.” He mumbled as he started to settle down, it was clear that he was still shaken by whatever he was thinking about, but being in your warm embrace, mixed with your words, he felt safe.

“You know, Sirius, I’m gonna be real with you. Sometimes I find you a real pain in the arse, but in all honesty you’re one of my closest friends. And I hope you know I’m always here for you” you gave him a small kiss on his temple, you knew he didn’t want pity, in fact he hated being pitied, he needed a friend.

Sirius Black is going to be safe with you

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glumpiglet · 4 years

Text

Indulgence (F!ReaderxBeetlejuice)

Alright well in my other fic ‘Reassurance’ I had an idea of Beetlejuice being all hot and bothered by the reader licking a knife. And I explored that a little more… And I did realize I might have a little bit of a food kink… ANYWAYS This is the product of that. Woof, enjoy or like tell me it sucks please, whatever... I’m so nervous posting this. I’m blushing and i know this isn’t even that lewd.

Warning: NSFW! 18+! I am going full smutty smut smut with this. Beware. I’m talking about Oral, Overstimulation. Light BDSM. the works.

You believed people could find satisfaction in any number of things. Food was one for you. From a young age you took your time with meals, savouring the tastes and textures of what you put in your mouth, wanting to know best how to prepare the things that nourished you.

The career you had didn’t consist of being some five star Michelin chef, but you were a good cook. Took care with the food made and was always trying new things in the kitchen. Even spent most of the extra money you had on any appliance or ingredient that caught your fancy.

What you never expected was ever to share the company of a ghost, never mind a demonic, powerful spectre that was Beetlejuice. Or Lawrence as he let you call him.

A dead boyfriend was something you had been taking pretty well all considering. BJ was quirky, to say the least.

Lately you have been trying to give him hobbies other than attempting to scare the living shit out of those around him, and trying to get your attention all the time.

Showing him how to collect bugs from the garden, you had an old aquarium brought out and set up with the ghost, watching with pride as he took to it naturally. Filling it with dirt, sticks; creatures flitted around inside and you saw he was becoming quite the connoisseur.

Loving books was another passion of yours, had a pretty well stocked bookshelf if you did say so yourself. It had taken weeks to get Beetlejuice to confess to being subpar at reading and spelling. You didn’t know what kind of education he had had, but teaching him had been a thrill. It had been slow, arduous work, but he was coming along nicely, reading at an excellent level. You even had a decent Stephen King collection Beetlejuice seemed to enjoy.

Another peculiar thing about Beetlejuice made itself known when you cooked.

Beetlejuice acted strange when you ate. He hardly ever joined in on your meals, had told you once that he didn’t need to eat much, being dead for forever and all.

In all honesty it would have been easier had he had any desire for the food you so enjoyed.

Instead he sat at the table, and watched.

You had to get over your shyness quickly. Beetlejuice was exorbitant, a bundle of energy. Boundaries were something that did not exist to him. Even before you started having sex, he was constantly touching; playing with your hair, marveling at your soft, smooth skin.

He was particularly devilish tonight. You could tell by his sly smile, his whole body practically glowing green. Bolts of pinks shifting through his hair as he caught you up on his trip to the Netherworld. And maybe you were trying to tease him a bit tonight, comfy in a pale nightgown you knew he liked, and could felt your nipples perked with the AC running through the house.

Having to practically push him out of the kitchen as you cooked the pasta however, he kept getting in the way and you were going to burn yourself if he tried to distract one more time.

Once the dish had been cooked and you sat down to eat, watching with amusement as Beetlejuice scraped the nearest chair towards you, he plopped down in immediate proximity to you. In the past, it was common to have to tell him to get his own chair on several occasions, he had a habit of wanting to just sit into your lap.

“.......So I says to him, ‘Buddy, I don’t know where you think you are, but that’s no guppy biting your leg!”

Giggling at his boisterous story, the two of you shared a laugh as you slipped some of the noodles into your mouth. You had begun to grow your own tomatoes and zucchini, and had to say it was a success so far, they were juicy, almost sweet. This might have been the best primavera you made in your life.

Moans were coming out of your mouth before they could be stopped. Your family was always making fun of you about the way you ate, joking they couldn’t take you to restaurants because of it. It couldn’t be helped. Taste was your favourite sense, a thing that activated the happy nerve in the brain, making your body react in a subconscious way.

Beetlejuice went silent.

Taking a few more bites, humming at the flavour and oblivious to BJ’s sudden change. A moment you looked up and took notice of how the air was tense.

BJ didn’t scare you in day to day life. But you knew never to underestimate him, and to not play innocent around him. Beetlejuice was a predator, a veritable horror show of demonic talents that were solely used for scaring breathers.

Still, when Beetlejuice gave that look, golden eyes glittering with savage intent, hair blown a completely different colour; you knew it wasn’t scaring he had in his mind.

BJ pounced. Gripping your shoulders, he kissed desperately. Shoving his tongue into your mouth, you stumbled, dropping a fork as he basically hauled you up. Pinned by his body against the table, you made a noise of discontent at his assault as he pulled back, looking with eyes blown wide with lust.

“Fuck….. Sorry, babes, I need you..” Swept up in his surprise attack, a bolt of pleasure made you quake as he kissed the sweet spot on your neck, latching on and lapping the skin.

Beetlejuice was obsessed with marking, rubbing his facial hair vigorously across sensitive parts, biting and sucking sometimes on the peak of being painful. You knew he wasn’t trying to hurt you, sometimes his eagerness could take over. On the tip of your tongue was a protest, but when it was realized you weren’t going into work tomorrow….. You’d suppose he could have his way.

“Now.” The growl against your cleavage was impatient. You knew if you didn’t stop his rough clench of his fists in your nightgown, he would just rip the thing in two. As he manhandled your body, there was the instinct to submit, allow him to have his wicked way.

You knew the truth.

He missed you.

It was at your encouragement that made him go back from time to time, he mentioned having several friends ‘back home’. You felt bad for him, he had said he had been stuck invisible among the living for a long time, longer than you could comprehend.

Then one day you were being curious about ghostly things and he showed you a book called ‘Handbook for the Recently Deceased.’

“Why do you have this? You’re not recently deceased.”

He looked at you as if you’d grown an extra head, and explained slowly.

“It comes with the tote bag, babes.”

He even opened it, once you realized you couldn’t ‘being a breather and all’. It was the oddest thing you ever saw. Glowing pages filled with ancient looking text. It smelt of old pages and sulfur. A line caught your eyes ‘Proceed directly to the Netherworld…’

“This says in order to get to the Netherworld, you just draw a door.”

“Yeah that’s how it works…. Welp, cupcake, you don’t wanna read that boring thing…..Wanna see a puppet show?”

Trying to take it from you, you held it out of his reach. Beetlejuice could be so deflected sometimes. It became a game, and you were getting really good at knowing which questions to ask.

“Wait, I’m confused. You mean you’ve been able to go back the whole time? Why haven’t you?”

Snatching the book from your hands, he muttered about ‘bad idea’ and ‘stupid’ until you got it out of him.

“I never really….Belonged there. My mom was always telling me….. Demons weren’t like me, I was a failure….”

Juno. That cunt. Oh yes, Beetlejuice had told you about his ‘mother’.

Realizing if you took a trip down, you might be able to give that rotten bitch a good piece of your mind. Sadly, trying to get him to take you to the Netherworld had been a vehement ‘no’.

“Absolutely not, (Y/N). Breathers are not allowed there and…….I don’t need anything to ever happen to you.”

That had been it on that, you couldn’t exactly argue with him. Pushing murderous thoughts to the back of your mind, but the idea was never completely forgotten.

“I think you should still go and visit your friends, BJ. I’ll be here when you come back.”

Assuring him over and over it would be okay, finally he began his vacations. Time apparently moved differently down in the Netherworld, he would be gone for extended periods of time. So once in a while you had to let your little bug fly away, but every time he came back, you remembered that old saying about ‘if you love something, set it free…’

Chuckling into the present, you tried to extract from his hold. “Slow down, I didn’t even finish my dinner.”

His hands greedily twisted in the fabric of your gown, bunching it up to your thighs, you shivered as the cool table was pressed against your ass. Feeling him slipping your panties down your legs, you shifted onto the table, more than willing to help his progress.

“Babes. I’m hungry. Tonight, you gotta feed me.” His intention was immediately clear and you gasped at his vulgar words.

Barely able to stutter out a “B-Beetlejuice!” The demon dove into you.

Intense, sudden stimulation to your clit had you reeling. Gripping his magenta hair, trying to find an anchor, you couldn’t stop from moaning out.

Beetlejuice wasn’t just enthusiastic when he ate you out, he was ravenous. Drooling at your taste, his growls were immediate, low and consistent like a beast. Added vibration from his response made your pussy clench. He just started but already you could already feel the flutters of an impending orgasm,

He certainly wasn’t helping. Face buried deep between your legs you began to hear low murmuring. Deep, rasping praises that you struggled to quiet to hear over his slurping.

“Mmm….Taste so fucking good, babes… That’s right….. Feed me your sweet cum.” You had to cover your glowing face with your hand. You couldn’t take Beetlejuice’s mouth sometimes. What it said, or what it could do to you.

That was it. His voice was enough. Lolling your head back, you surrendered as the convulsions overtook your body, pussy spasming as you came. Hard. Your hips swiveled, chasing the bliss. He slowed down to tender licks, but he didn’t stop completely. Your body continued to writhe, trying to push him away with hands to his forehead. His grip only intensified.

“Ohhh, jesus….. Sweetie. I’m not nearly full yet. You gotta give me more.” His voice was granite. Dark, and tensed through clenched teeth. His face was slick with saliva and cum, trails of the mixture stringing his face to your pussy, glistening his cheeks and your thighs. He was making such a mess of you, and showed no signs of stopping.

“I-I can’t.. I’m too s-sensitive..” Changing his pace, you could go limp as he gently sucked and licked at your entrance, teasing the walls just inside; running his nose over your swollen lips.

“I don’t think so, doll…. Hmm…. I think if I stayed like this for who knows… Another hour, you could come at least 4-5 times for me. That would fill me.”

“BJ, no!” Lifting your upper body off the table, you watched as two hands appeared from under his jacket, gripping your wrists to the surface as his own kept your thighs parted. Continuing your desperate pleas, more hands jutted out. Grabbing at your shoulders, your hips. Pinning you down.

Whining, your treacherous body peaked again, just the idea of being at his mercy heady. You loved when he was like this, as vulgar as it was.

“I know you can do it, babes. Just give me a bit more of you. I need it.” Snarling into your mound, he gave you a small respite and began to nuzzle and nip at your thighs. The hands were also being kind, stroking your skin, running across your nipples teasingly; letting you at least catch your breath before you hyperventilate.

“What's the safe word?”

“Chartreuse…” You considered using it, you seriously didn’t think you could cum anymore, the pleasure was too intense.

“That’s it, baby. You ready?”

Nodding, he began anew and you sighed at his soft, kitten licks. He knew just how to bring you around and soon you were pulsing, working your way to another climax, pushed harder by Beetlejuice’s minstrasions.

“You got it…. Just relax…... Daddy gonna take care of you.”

At some point, you lost track of time. Delirious, all you could do was lay there as he continued.

Beetlejuice alternated between rough, frantic treatment, or tenderly nuzzling into you, playing against your tender inner walls with meaty fingers. Orgasm number three and four reached you at some point, one brought around so softly and sudden you hardly realized you had it at all.

The pleasure started to move into pain. After shivering through one final eruption, you cried out in slight discomfort and Beetlejuice knew immediately.

BJ pulled back, multiple hands caressed down your body, making you shudder as they disappeared back under his jacket. Soon enough, it was just his own hands stroking your trembling thighs, shushing you passionately.

“That’s it...Delicious…. Fucking gorgeous little breather….. You did so good, baby.” His voice was wrecked. Nothing more than deep razor blades cutting in the air, reaching your ears from a distance.

Dazed was an understatement. You were knocked out. Sleeping on your dining room table was a pretty good choice at this very moment, but instead you felt yourself being lifted. He was floating with you in his arms, well you supposed having a demon for a lover had to have its perks.

He laid you down on your bed and you sighed into the cool sheets against your overstimulated body. Staying there comfortably, you couldn’t even gain the strength to open your eyes to see where the devil disappeared to.

You jerked as you felt a cool cloth being run around your privates, glancing up at Beetlejuice, rapt in his attention. The aftercare he was giving you never ceased to make your heart swell. He just treated you so well.

A burst of energy made you intent to return to favour.

As he leaned over you, you grabbed at his lapels, pulling him down onto you with an ‘oof!’ As you began your descent passed his tummy to his cock, deftly unbuttoning and slipping your hand inside. You weren’t prepared for what met you there.

Beetlejuice was flaccid. The idea that something was terribly wrong with him flashed through your mind before you realized something else. He felt sticky. Heaving out a choked, sensitive sound, he grabbed at your hand to still it. You put two and two together.

“Did you-?”

“Uh, yeah…….I came like three times during that… I guess I better get these off.” Giggling at his honesty, you watched as he snapped his fingers, transforming from big bad ghost with the most to the snugly little bug you hunkered down with nightly.

Pajamas you had provided for him when you found out he only owned the one suit…. Yikes. You’d have to ask him for that in the morning to wash.

Snuggling into your bed, once again thankful for his cooled body against your hotness. You ran your hand through the thick fuzz on his tummy, murmuring words of adoration to each other, you felt safe enough to drift off. Knowing that Beetlejuice would be right where you left him.

#beetlejuice the musical #beetlejuice x reader #beetlejuice broadway #betlegeuse #beetlejuice x you #beetlejuice musical #beetlejuicexreader #musical!beetlejuice x reader #charles deetz #lydia deetz #beetlejuice #adam maitland #barbara maitland #beetlejuice fic #delia deetz #the maitlands

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paragonshep · 4 years

Text

Happy N7 Day, friends and ememies, and welcome to an unplanned stream-of-consciousness thought experiment I like to call

The Bare Fucking Minimum

What is this, you ask? Well I am, once again, thinking about Jacob Taylor. Specifically, I’m thinking about the complete shitshow that was Jacob’s story arc. What were the themes, the overarching concepts? And were they deliberately trying to piss off everyone who romanced him?

In honor of the announcement of a remaster that will almost certainly do nothing for him, I’m here to ask: if we assume that all the major story elements must remain the same, what’s the minimum that could be changed to bring all of his everything from a major shitshow to a minor shitshow?

Let me preface this by saying that 1) I am not a writer, and 2) I am not black. The scope of this post is fairly limited, and mostly relates to tidying up the themes and emotional arc while keeping the actual events largely unchanged. I’m fully aware that Jacob’s loyalty mission, for example, is absolutely steeped in racist tropes, and that a lot of people out there would prefer to just throw the whole thing out and start over. I get that, but that’s not something I’m equipped to do, so if that’s what you were looking for, this post probably isn’t the one for you.

This is also pretty much spun right off the top of my head. I didn’t draft this, I’m not really digging too deep. I’m just collecting and laying out some thoughts I had floating around in my head, so this is gonna get pretty disjointed. Feel free to throw out your own thoughts in the notes. I may or may not dive in and chat with y’all, since this is mostly just to get these thoughts out of my head and on a page. We’ll see once things get going.

Anyway let’s start at the top.

1. What’s it all about, when you get right down to it?

So, Jacob’s whole arc is a complete fucking mess and feels like they just threw a bunch of random shit at it to see what would stick, but ultimately I think it’s about masculinity and Jacob’s conception of what makes a man. I think the key to Jacob as a character is understanding what traits embody masculinity, and which people he thinks have missed the mark. There’s clearly things like strength and integrity, but follow-through, duty, and keeping promises seem to be major elements in his definition of masculinity. Put a pin in that, we’ll come back to that later. Unfortunately, it’s time to talk about...

2. The Loyalty Mission

Oh boy. Welp. Let’s get this over with, I guess.

So obviously this is racist and really shit and really Bioware should just throw the whole thing out, but again, that's not what we're going here. This is the part I've given the least thought to, so it will probably be short and not come to many conclusions. anyway let's grit our teeth and look for the theme that ties in into Jacob's greater narrative arc. Specifically, if Jacob's whole thing is "what makes a man", then we need to look at how exactly his father missed the mark.

Spoiler alert: it's duty.

Ultimately, his father was captain and it was his obligation to get the crew home, even if it was personally inconvenient. It was his duty as a father to try to get home himself for the sake of his family. It was about obligation, oaths and promises he broke. Can I get some uhhhhhhhhhhhh fucking themes. Dive into that shit more.

I’m too tired to get more into it bc I’m actually writing this section last, but it’s interesting to note that even afterwards Jacob’s feelings about his father are complicated. Like, he hates the guy and thinks he’s despicable, but he still feels a need to try to find that things he got even half right. He can’t bring himself to write off everything the man ever was. That feels like a rich vein they could have done something with, but they didn’t.

3. The Romance, ME2

This one is an absolute fucking mess.

So there are two threads running through the core of this romance arc: the kink/powerplay element and the time element, and a major problem of the romance is that it doesn’t really know which one it is.

So, I know a lot of people dislike the whole kink element just on principle, but I’m not here to do that. Not everyone is into soft vanilla stuff, and it’s a little irritating how much of the fandom (and the world) tries to paint kink as inherently evil or unhealthy. THAT SAID, the kink here is inefficient in terms of storytelling, it’s sloppy writing, and the whole time I played the romance I was thinking “What’s the point of this?”. The problem with that element, and the fact that the ME2 love scene focuses on it, is that it does not serve any overarching narrative, either in terms of romance progression or Jacob’s whole character. It feels slapped on. It’s just not good storytelling. (and while i’m generally for kink, I am also side eyeing Bioware for slapping this on ME’s first black character and only him. not offensive in and of itself, but feels like part of a greater racist picture)

I’m honestly shocked they didn’t lean harder into the whole theme of time, and specifically time running out, because it seems like the obvious choice. It’s built into the whole main plot of ME2, and it’s an element of multiple other romances. You’re all heading into a suicide mission, there’s a serious chance you’re all going to die, and you don’t have enough time. Like what the fuck! That would have been emotionally satisfying!

Imagine if the final romance scene had featured Jacob coming to see Shepard and having this whole speech/rant about how he doesn’t like to rush into things, how he likes to take it slow and really get to know each other, but now there’s no more time and you both might die tomorrow, and he might regret this choice if you live but he knows he’ll regret not making it if you die!!!!!! That’s some real shit! it completes a narrative arc! It ties into shit we know about Jacob outside his romance!!! Why the fuck didn’t they go that route!!!!!!! Can you tell I’m still angry!!!!!

4. ME3

So Jacob’s role in this game is pretty minimal, so there’s not a lot to work with and not a lot to change. Good thing I can fix like 90% of its issues with one change:

It’s not his child Dr. Cole is carrying.

Like that alone you can use to fix a bunch of issues without changing the core themes of his character arc! It works in a romance and non romance playthrough! You can still do a fatherhood “doing better than my own father did” arc even if Jacob didn’t contribute the sperm, Bioware!!!!!

So here’s how I picture it: The stuff about meeting and getting to know Jacob can stay the same. The father of Dr. Cole’s child is someone we never meet who is generally out of the picture. Possibly one of the other scientists she was working with who were killed when their part of the project was complete. Her partner disappears, she goes to Jacob for help, and Jacob promises to help her and her coworkers get out and keep them safe. Remember that shit I said back under point one about keeping promises? Boom! Narrative arc complete. This would also serve as an excuse to keep Jacob from coming back the the Normandy, since he made a promise to Brynn and he’s going to see it through. This works even with a romanced Jacob, because he can love Shepard and also note that she’s not the person who needs him most right now! Is this a perfect solution that would please every player? By no means! But I bet a lot of us would be less absolutely livid about it!

In conclusion,

I realize actually implementing these changes would actually be a whole lot of work, and this is not, in fact, a simple quick fix. My point is mostly that this did not require changing any actual plot beats, just recontextualizing them, and that Bioware and the writer(s) responsible could have saved themselves a lot of angry players if they’d just picked a coherent theme for this character and stuck to it. There’s no excuse for Jacob’s writing being as incoherent and terrible as it is.

I could probably write a lot more about this, but since I’m basically illiterate this took me pretty much all day to write and I’m tired. Bioware Stop Being So Racist Challenge, and Happy N7 Day.

#mass effect #ME #ME2 #ME3 #Jacob Taylor

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poundstonaira · 4 years

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Solid x Reader - Barely Bothered

A/N- so basically like I noticed that I don’t post anything on this blog at all so...yikes. If anyone likes Solid then this is a one shot for you.

Word Count: 2046

“Goodbye.” I say nonchalantly as the silver haired boy asked me to be his girlfriend for the fifth time today I believe. Ever since I was accepted into this squad, the Captain’s younger brother has been obsessed with me, he’s always trying to spark a conversation with me, always stalking me when I go to my room, always admiring my body and how slim thick I am, and always asking me multiple questions.

I honestly don’t know why he is so obsessed with me, I’m not annoyed by it since I’m barely bothered by anything in general and I always mind my business and ignore things that I find irrelevant or stupid- but this? This is fucking dumb.

“Why are you saying goodbye? You know I’m going to keep following you until you say yes. You’ll just have to submit to me in the end anyways.” I hear Solid snicker from behind me, following me.

I just want to know...Why do people like this exist? I groan to myself as I walk a bit faster down the hallway.

“Oh? Why are you walking faster? Do you really that’ll keep me away from you?” I hear him smirk from behind me, his footsteps getting louder. I really want to RUN away but that will make me look like a scaredy cat and my room is right around the corner. This isn’t good.

Damn. What should I do? I think to myself as I sweatdrop. I really hope someone is at the corner to stop him or this could get really ugly for me or him.

As I finally turn the corner, I see the Captain waiting at my door.

Yes! Finally somebody strong enough to get me away from this weirdass boy.

“Hello, Sir Nozel. How can I help you?” I greet him, walking towards him. I turned around to see Solid still following me but, when he saw Nozel, he started walking way slower and his expression wasn’t like the sadistic one he had earlier; it was more gentle and innocent, like a little kid.

He wasn’t acting like that when he was stalking me. What a scaredy cat.

Nozel does nothing but stare at me until he notices his little brother right from behind me. “Solid, I’ll need you as well.” He says to his little brother as Solid stands next me.”

Shit. I hope this isn’t about Solid chasing me around the hallways. If it is, it’s Solid’s fault.

“What did I want to say?” Nozel asks me as I give him a poker face. Didn’t he just come at my door for something? Wasn’t he going to say something to us?

“Yes, you were standing at my door for something, weren’t you?” I responded as Solid stood there, daydreaming.

“Oh, that’s right. The two of you will be going on a mission together.”

HUH?

I stood there, my mouth agape, my eyebrows raised and my eyes squinted in pure disgust, while Solid just had a sadistic smile spread across that annoying face of his while staring at me with eyes of pure malice. God. I hate this fucking squad. I should’ve just picked the Crimson Lion Kings and I wouldn’t ever be in this predicament.

“Could you repeat that, please?” I pleaded, hoping that he messed up what he said and that it was only me going on the mission.

“I said_ you and Solid_ will be going on a mission together tomorrow in the morning.” Nozel responded slowly, making sure I understood every word he said so he doesn’t repeat himself

Welp, there goes my dignity, my pride, my happiness, and my personal space.

“Is that all?” I asked, looking down at the smooth, blue carpet floor with a look of sadness and lost hope.

“Yes.” That was all the Captain said before he walked away, leaving me with his crazy little brother.

“Well then. It looks like I’ll be claiming you as mine tomorrow. Get ready to be owned tomorrow, Y/N.” Solid sadistically grinned as he ruffled my hair, I quickly moved his hand away from me.

“Please, do me a favor and shut up. I think the world would be a better place if you spoke less nonsense and more common sense.” I snapped back as I walked towards my room and slammed the door, leaving Solid all alone in the hallway. I heard him laugh as he walked away, probably think of all the lovely things that he would do to me in the near future.

I just hope that I don’t wake up tomorrow…

Next Day!

It was the next day and I had just finished getting ready for the day and the mission…

Shit. I shouldn’t have woken up. That is a mistake I’ll regret.

I forgot I had the mission with that annoying fool today. I probably won’t get the chance to ignore him...Damn it!

I slouched as I unlocked the door of my room, I walked outside to see Solid and his annoying sister, Nebra who was snickering behind her hand like it was no man's business. I really hate her with all my heart and that dumb, and crazy hairstyle doesn’t make it better. Who told her that that horrible excuse of a hairstyle on her head looked good? Not me.

“Morning.” I yawn, not paying the two any eye contact. I see Solid walk in front of me as he then puts his hands on my shoulders, making me stand up properly and an annoyed expression plastered on my face. This is totally making me break my character, I’m not the type of person to show that I’m annoyed, pissed, or happy but this boy right here is just making me not myself.

“That isn’t a proper way to greet your future boyfriend, Y/N.” The said boy groans as his hands move from my shoulders to my lower back. I cringed at the feeling as I still avoided eye contact with Solid as I looked at the blue carpet. “I was expecting you to greet me properly, not like any random peasant.” I heard the silver-haired boy groan as he pushes me into his chest making me let out a little gasp.

Just what the fuck is he doing? Why is he trying to hug me?

I heard his older sister let out an ugly laugh as she always does. She really pisses me off, she pisses me off more than Solid does and that is a shocker. But you can’t really be surprised because she is a royal and she doesn’t know how to do her hair properly so… there's that.

“Me and you are going to have fun today. Got that?” I heard Solid sadistically chirp as I tried to free myself from his embrace. I’m not even making any process getting out of his arms… he isn’t even that muscular and I’m having trouble getting out of his skinny ass arms… Just what kind of strengths do these royals have!?

“To hell with that. Let me go. Now.” I demand with no tint of anger in my voice, still struggling with his embrace.** **

“Why should I when the hottest person in the entire squad is in my arms, hmm?” My face erupted into flames the moment the bastard said “hottest”. I’ve completely had enough of his obsessive behavior and Nebra’s ugly laughing. This needs to end, there should be no reason why he is holding me in his arms.

I finally break out of Solid arms, making him groan at me.

“Why’d you let go? That was my first time showing you affection, you know?” Solid snapped at me. I didn’t care, he just needed to know that I was barely bothered by him liking me but he has taken it too far today and on this mission, I won’t let him take advantage of my emotionless persona.

“If you forcing me into a tight hug is showing your way of loving me, then maybe this will show you how much I love you.” I sighed as I walked closer to him, close to his face, I felt his minty breath on my face and had a great view of the blush spreading across his cheeks. I lean and give him a full kiss on the lips.

I felt his smirk on my lips as I leaned in more. I heard Nebra gasp from behind me but I didn’t give damn, what mattered is that I could get Solid to shut the fuck up for the day.

“Oh? So you do love me…” Solid muttered viciously between the breathtaking kisses I gave him. I slid my arms around his neck, making him lean towards me a bit more, his arms slid to my lower back.

If I’m being honest, I’m not really trying to kiss him. I’m just trying to get him to pass out so I can go on the mission alone and call it a day.

Nebra can take care of him. I don’t really care about him. Honestly. I’m only doing this so I can have a peaceful day and go back to bed. Simple as that.

The silver-haired boy licks my lip for an opening in my mouth which was a big mistake on his part. Since my tongue is really long, I could use that to my advantage to make him choke. I opened my mouth and slid my tongue into his mouth. I heard him let out a little moan, I slipped my tongue deeper into his mouth but not so deep that he could choke- not yet.

“Y/N… it feels amazing but… I… can’t breathe…” I heard Solid moan out breathlessly, his face flushed and his grip tightening. I felt bad but, this is what he asked for. I didn’t want any of this if I’m being completely honest.

I fully connected his lips as I ignored what he just breathed out, completely cutting off his space for air. His gasps for air got more and more desperate as I just kept on suffocating him with my tongue. I felt Solid’s face sweating and his face getting a bit purple, his grip on my lower back weaker.

“Y/N, what are you doing!? You're going to kill him!” I ignore Nebra’s pleas for me to stop suffocating him.

Eh. She’s right but, I really don’t care. He is a royal and he can get the best healthcare in the Kingdom, he’ll be fine.** **

I hold onto him for a few more seconds before finally disconnecting my lips with his, coming with a string of saliva as well. As soon as I let go, the blue-eyed boy fell on the floor, completely out cold. I pant for a bit as I wipe my wet lips, seeing a bit of his saliva on my wrist. I raise my eyebrows at the fact that I just made out with the Captains little brother to the point he passed out. Well, at the end of the day, that was my goal.

Nebra ran over to him and saw his knocked out body, she then looked up at me and gave me a look of horror on her face. It was like I was a murderer getting ready to kill an innocent woman who just saw her husband die right in front of her because of me.

It looked so hilarious. It’s quite rare to see the Silva's in such a pathetic state like that and to be honest, it was quite enjoyable. Nebra could tell Nozel whatever she wants but, with my emotionless personality, to him it wouldn’t seem like I did such a thing. He would think that Nebra was doing her daily snitching on innocent people and ignore her as usual.

That was fun. I wonder what he is going to do when he wakes up and sees that I already left him.

I walk away, leaving Nebra and her now unconscious brother all alone.

Solid Silva. What a funny name that I’m_** barely unbothered by.**_

#solid silva #nebra silva #nozel silva #black clover #black clover scenarios #black clover headcanons #black clover x reader #solid silva x reader

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evenings-peripeteia · 4 years

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12/6/2020 Sunday 9:35pm

I hate everything and everyone. Most importantly myself. Should just fucking kill myself with how easily I get angry now days. Good riddance to everyone. Will feel bad for the pain it’ll cause my family for a bit, but fuck everyone else. The family will get over it in time too. Not like they can’t see this coming. Big fucker shocker, am I right? Where will Jesse be in 5 or 10 years? In the fucking ground as some ash.

12/12/2020 Saturday 7:55pm

Had my doctors appointment on Thursday. Got out on antidepressants and also anxiety medicine. Will see how that goes. Before I left I asked about the spots on my neck and now have to go back in a week and few days to do blood work because they think it’s elevated sugar levels (aka, diabetes). Welp, shocker considering it’s genetic and I’m also 275lbs and drink almost nothing but soda. I know I joked about eating myself into an early grave, but would rather die quicker than that

12/19/2020 Saturday 8:41pm

I lied. I still want to die. Fingers crossed I fall asleep tonight and just never wake up.

12/24/2020 Thursday 11:10pm

Haven’t been writing here as much since I’m not as stressed from work since I’m on vacation. Still wouldn’t mind disappearing. If I could push a button the would make my family forget I ever existed and also put Yen & Shani in a good home, I’d immediately push that button and then kill myself. That button totally exists, right?

12/25/2020 Friday 11:06pm

Merry Christmas. I didn’t get my present I wished for in my last post. Guess just gonna have to kill myself instead

1/5/2021 Tuesday 3:32am

Still off work. It will be awful when I get back I’m sure. Have a follow up doctors appointment on Thursday for new antidepressants and anxiety medcien, and get blood work to probably find out I’m diabetic. I don’t know if the medicine is working, so who the hell knows.

12/31/2020 Thursday 11:25pm

So I’ve done nothing to prepare to try and sell my home, but if I do end up selling it, then I can have some extra cash to put into a life insurance policy. Then I can start my two year count down. But doubt I’ll get my shit together to sell the house.....

1/5/2021 Tuesday 3:34am

Still off work and go back next week. Know it will be awful but I have no one to blame except myself for wasting my time off like always. I have a doctors appointment on Thursday for how my antidepressants and anxiety medicine is doing as well as blood work results to see if I’m likely diabetic or not. I don’t have a good answer if the medicine is working or not, like always. I feel it makes me more numb than anything, so I guess that drowns out the overwhelming suicidal feelings, but the thought are definitely still there.

1/11/2021 Monday 4:45pm

First day I was suppose to be back at work and I put I was out of office on my calendar last minute because I couldn’t get to sleep until 5am last night. I’ll have to go back tomorrow no matter what though. Already panicking. Will be awful. I had my doctors appointment follow up where found out I’m not diabetic, but I am grossly unhealthy and if I don’t diet and exercise, I’ll eat myself into an early grave soon. Shocker. I wasn’t joking when I said I’d eat myself to death all those times. Depressed? Eat and sleep, rinse and repeat. Then kill myself.

1/24/2021 Sunday 10:44pm

Haven’t posted here in almost 2 weeks. I may be doing “better” now that they doubled my antidepressants medicine, but I’m still not doing well. I’m emotionally mature, I can’t bring myself to do anything I need to, I still get angry easily and can’t interact well with people, I have awful road rage. So I don’t want to die as much, but still wouldn’t mind if I never woke up. I’m just more numb while typing this instead of being overwhelmed and wanting to break down crying and kill myself.

1/31/2021 Sunday 11:59pm

Have my follow up anti depressants call this Friday. I don’t know what to say even though they’ve doubled it. I’m still depressed and angry all the type. Had a few road rage incidents the past week and hate myself. It’s so pathetic I can hardly leave my house. Not as suicidal lately, but still think I should just die.

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ask-xayah-therebel · 4 years

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What to do, what to do.

I feel like I really oughta do something with this account considering it’s existed under approximately seven different URLs, and this is quite literally the first post on it in.. Three(?) years of having the account.

Idk if anyone will ever even see this to be honest, it’s kinda weird. Part of me wants to get back into league RP stuff, but that shit was hella fucked, and so many people in it left such a sour taste in the back of my mouth. Like, probably over 70% of every encounter i’ve had with someone that I can still look back on and go “what the everloving fuck” in disgust is from that community.

But, it was kinda fun. Somehow.

The other part of me however is going “Why the fuck would you do that” and instead just wants to write, so this might just turn out to be one of those things where I’ll every now and then put a short drabble or some shit on and kinda hope I don’t hate it, just to keep myself writing and hoping.

The third and final part though just kinda wants to use it as a blog- I only ever really come on here now when i’m drinking anyway, so using it as an emotional outlet could be very interesting. Simultaneously though, I tried using that coping mechanism before and it was bad. Like, hella bad. 15 year old me was stupid.

Speaking of, holy shit it’s been a while since I first set out on here. Six years. I’ve made and lost so many friends since then- Through here, and outside of the site. Think about it, so many trends and people have come and gone over the last six years, to a point that I remember worrying if my writing would ever be good enough, and here I am at doing a university course to make computer games. Never woulda thought it’d be possible back then.

Of course, if you said to me six years ago “Kid, in six years time you’re going to have made some fucking terrible decisions but you’ll have come to terms with almost all of them. In six years time, you’ll be doing a course on something you currently dream of. In six years time, you’re up at 4am drinking and writing what amounts to a small essay on god knows what.” I’d go “yeah you’re talking out of your ass, now go away so i can fuck exams up some more”.

The world changes so much, it’s so weird. Kinda cool though.

Anyway, I’ll probably come back to this with some kinda answer in the next several days when I’m procrastinating doing my animation assignment that’s due in.. Three days time? And I still need to actually learn to animate, and create several game ready animations, then import them into a game platform. Christ.

Welp. To future me- I hope you fucking did your assignment and got it in on time.

To anyone reading this- I’m amazed you found this, and am very, very concerned that you did. Like i don’t know if you were stalking old blog names of mine and found this one with this post? Or if tumblr just recommended it because this website is a shithole. But congrats for making it through this far either way, I guess.

Speaking of.. Jesus I’ve had a lot of blogs haven’t I. Katarinaishyperashell, lady-of-clockwork, yasuothetempest, ask-xayah-therebel, adanceofbladesandblood.. That’s quite a few aye. And that ain’t counting the ones I’ve remade over the years, or can’t remember the names of.

So many people who convinced me to stick around on those blogs, so many of them that made me so happy. And depressingly, I can’t remember a single one of them.

Well. I remember them, but the ones I remember have already moved on as far as I know. A shame, but I’m glad they ain’t doing what I’m doing, sat here typing out their thoughts while being blinded by the white log that is this text box. Or maybe they are, and I just don’t know it.

Regardless, I should probably sleep or at least get my sorry ass in bed. Got lots of animation work to do tomorrow.

So, to anyone who has found this and read through it all, congratulations on getting through the ramblings of a man who really needs a sleeping schedule and to do their assignments. If you skipped to the end, I don’t really blame you either. But aye, if anyone who’s read this remembers any of those old blogs- I feel hella bad for you, but hit me up. Chat about memories n all that jazz.

Take care, and sleep well.

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ravagedfeelings · 4 years

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I guess it's been a year since my last visit in this account. As I read my old posts, I just can't help but to be proud of myself for making it this far. I moved on from the person that I always talked about in my posts. The heartbreaks, tears, pains, and everything I've been through. I can say that I made it.

D, I'm done with you. I think I already forgave you because I know I'm also one to blame on what happened to us. I was so immature back then. I want you to be mine all the time that I forgot you also have your personal life. You have that before you met me. One time, as I was scrolling through my timeline on Facebook, I randomly thought about you. So what I did was backread our conversation in Messenger. It made me laugh knowing how paranoid I was back then. It made me kinda miss you, miss the friendship that we had. All the good times that I had with you, even though all the interactions were just through chat because we never met. I never met you in person. I never had a chance to hold your hand, walk with you, laugh with you, or hug you. Anyway, I wish you all the best in life. I will treasure the good memories. I have already accepted the fact that your chapter in my life is done. PS: I still have the Adventure Time toy that I got from my nephew which I planned to give it to you, but welp, shit happens.

C, I guess the reason why I'm on this account again is because of you. I don't want to bother my friends with my rants and emotional outbursts saying I still miss you, that I'm still not getting over with you completely. Sometimes, I still cry when I think of you. It's been three months since the last time we talked. I was dumb for hoping that we'd work out. I hate that you met her first and realizing you're still not over her. You want "us" to give it a shot, but you're still waiting on her hoping she'll be back. I don't want to be your second option so it really hurts letting the thought of "us" go, letting you go. I like you, you like me, but you're still in love with her. Well, I don't know if I fell in love with you, I always deny it to my friends and even to myself, because I don't want to think that I'm here again in this situation falling in love with a person that I never met or only met once. My heart is hurting for myself that I never get to experience the things that people my age should experience when they are in love. Being held, getting a hug or kiss, watching movies, eating meals together, and all those little things. I never thought that liking or loving a person can be this hard that I can be with them only in just my imagination because I only met you once. I know it's bad to be envious about others but I just can't help but to compare my situation with them that sometimes, I asked God, "Why?" Anyway, I wish you all the best in life. Who knows, maybe we're just a victim of wrong timing, right? I admit, yes, there's a little hope in me for the both of us but right now, I just want to move on from you. I just want to let you go completely that maybe if God allowed us a second chance, we can start over. I don't know. Who knows? Also one thing, I really do hope that someday, you will find the courage to move on from her - not because I want you to be with me, but because it's what you deserve. You also deserve to be free from anything or anyone that keeps you hurting. PS: I never said this to you but you're the first person, that is not a family or relative, who held my hands and kiss my cheeks. Also, still not watching anime again because it always reminds me of you.

L, to you myself, I love you. Thank you for always being there for me. I know sometimes I'm harsh to you but that's just because I want what's best for you. Yeah, I know we're stupid and dumb when it comes to love but I hope that you will never surrender because I know someday, someone will accept and love you for who you are. Thank you for going through each day. Always remember that I'm always here for you no matter what tomorrow will bring. I love you.

---

September 22, 2020

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angelofthequeers · 5 years

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Hold Me By Both Hands: Chapter 38

Disclaimer: I don’t own ML.

Finally got power back, hence the super late update. I’ll update at the usual time after this, in like 12 hours or so.

Chapter 37 | Chapter 39 | AO3 link

“This is weird,” Marinette says after beating Misterbug at yet another game of Ultimate Mecha Strike III. Even though her arm’s still in a cast, she utterly rules at this game, to the point where Misterbug’s pretty sure that she must somehow be cheating. “It’s been like three weeks and I’m still not used to seeing you in spots.”

Welp. This is the perfect time. Misterbug’s been putting it off for weeks but Tikki’s right; he can’t just not tell Marinette that he knows she’s Ladybug.

“I get that,” Misterbug says. “Must be like making out with yourself, huh?”

Marinette’s cheeks pale ever so slightly. “H-Huh?” she stammers. “I don’t get the joke.”

“Marinette breaks her arm, then Ladybug can’t fight properly?” Misterbug says. He gives her a soft smile. “I know it’s you, bugaboo. Kitten.”

A high-pitched noise escapes Marinette, as though she’s a kettle that’s been put on to boil. Before Misterbug can try and reassure her, to at least get her to stop making that sound and attracting every dog within the city limits, Marinette grabs the cushion from her chaise lounge and starts to scream into it.

“Well,” drawls a familiar voice. Misterbug can’t help the wide smile that spreads across his face at the sight of Plagg emerging from on top of Marinette’s bed. “Good job, kid, you broke her.”

“Plagg!” Misterbug holds out his hand to let Plagg land on it. When he scratches Plagg under the chin, the little cat kwami purrs and practically melts into a puddle of black goo.

“Oh my god.” A wide-eyed Marinette is watching the exchange, the cushion clutched against her chest, ready for her to scream again. “You – I don’t – oh my god.”

“That’s my line,” Misterbug teases. “I can’t believe I fell for the same girl twice. I – ow!” he yelps when Marinette punches him with her good hand.

“Why didn’t you tell me, you – you jerk?” she bursts out. “Weeks! You’ve been pretending for weeks! I would’ve loved to know that my boyfriend knew my secret identity!”

“Hey! Easy!” Misterbug catches her hand and squeezes. “I’m sorry. I just…I was scared you wouldn’t be interested in me if you knew who I was. I can’t say why – identity reasons – but…you’re amazing, Mari, and –”

“Wait, what?” Marinette’s brow furrows. “I mean, you’re an idiot if you think I wouldn’t be interested in you unless you were, like, Chloé Bourgeois or Lila Rossi or something, but why would that stop you from telling me? I still don’t know who you are.”

“Oh. Uh…” Misterbug scratches the back of his neck with his free hand. “I guess I was psyching myself for an identity reveal. I didn’t want to leave you in the dark when I knew who you were.”

“Well, one of our identities should stay a secret, at least,” Marinette says. “But I can tell you right now, if you think I’ll run away from whoever’s under the mask, you’ve got another thing coming. Would you have run if you’d found out I was Marinette back when you liked Ladybug?”

“What? No!” Misterbug says. “You’re Ladybug. Ladybug’s you. I would’ve thought myself super lucky because even back then, I knew you were an amazing person. I freaked out when I thought Chloé was Ladybug when Lady Wifi unmasked her because…I can’t be into Chloé. I’ve never seen her like that.”

“Gag me,” Plagg mutters, but he’s ignored.

“Then there’s your answer,” Marinette says. She leans in and gives him a quick kiss. “Trust me, if you’re nothing like Chloé used to be, I don’t think I’ll be very disappointed.”

“Right. Tikki said I wouldn’t be.”

“Tikki’s very wise,” Marinette says with twitching lips. “You should listen to her.”

“I hear a certain princess is very wise as well,” Misterbug says, and Marinette giggles and rests her head on his shoulder. “But I really do think it would be a good idea to tell you who I am.”

“What? But if Hawkmoth finds out –”

“Hey.” Misterbug squeezes her gently. “I’m the one who takes hits normally, remember? And I know who you are. It’s way less dangerous for you to know who I am. And if we know each other’s identities, we can coordinate as civilians. We can cover for each other. We can…we can be a team in and out of the mask, milady. I feel like I’ve got…more power over you by knowing, if that makes sense, and I don’t wanna feel like that. We’re equals. We’re partners. Purrtners, if you will.”

Marinette’s quiet for a long, long time. Just as Misterbug’s about to start babbling an apology, to say that he’s not pushing her and he won’t reveal himself if she really doesn’t want him to, Marinette takes a deep breath and pushes herself upright.

“Okay,” she whispers and squeezes her eyes shut. “Okay. You’re right. I trust you, lovebug. If you’re sure…”

“I’ve never been surer of anything, kitten.” Misterbug takes Marinette’s hands, then says, “Tikki…spots off.” His transformation drops in a flash of pink light, and Marinette sucks in a reflexive gasp of air.

“Marinette!” Tikki nuzzles against Marinette’s cheek. Giggling, Marinette releases one of Adrien’s hands to reach up and cuddle Tikki, and…wow. She’s never been more beautiful.

“Tikki!”

“Ugh, gag me,” Plagg groans. “Just open your eyes already.”

Marinette lets out an explosive breath, then nods and opens her eyes. Adrien can see the exact moment that she fully processes who’s sitting across from her by tracking the journey mapped across her entire face: shock, disbelief, a split second of panic, then sheer, unmistakeable joy.

“Oh my god!” She slaps her hands over her mouth and rocks back and forth. “My god! It’s – how did I never – Adrien – I’ve been fighting Hawkmoth with – I’ve been making out with Adrien!”

“What d’you think, Sugarcube?” Plagg says. “Most hilarious reveal so far or what?”

“Plagg, you’re a jerk,” Tikki huffs. “…But yes, this is one of the funniest.”

“You know what’s really funny?” Adrien says as Marinette’s shoulders begin to shake. “You kept turning me down for me. And I let you go for you.”

“We’re both a bunch of idiots!” Marinette sags against Adrien’s chest, laughing so hard that tears stream down her cheeks.

“I know, right?” Adrien grins. “We could’ve been dating months ago.”

But Marinette shakes her head at that. “No,” she hiccups when she’s finally wrestled her hysterical laughter under control. “That’s one thing I don’t regret. We weren’t ready months ago.”

“Well, we’re ready now,” Adrien says. “And now that we know each other…holy shit, now I can hold you and kiss you whenever I see you. I don’t have to wait till I’m transformed.”

Marinette’s cheeks stain a dark pink colour. “W-Well…if Adrien Agreste wanted to ask Marinette Dupain-Cheng to be his girlfriend…I don’t think she’d say no.”

“But what about a certain alley cat?” Adrien gasps dramatically. “His heart would be shattered!”

Marinette snorts and shoulders him. “I think that alley cat could learn to share.”

“Hmm. You just might be right.” Adrien jolts when an idea occurs to him. “Hey, wanna make it official right now?”

Marinette squints suspiciously at him as he fumbles to pull his phone out. Before she can protest, he’s slinging an arm around her and holding out the phone, then kissing her cheek as he pushes the camera button. Thankfully, she seems to catch on just in time, as she’s giggling with her eyes closed in the picture when Adrien pulls away.

“Are you okay with this?” he says once he’s brought up Instagram. “I don’t wanna post if you don’t want me to. I’m not sure how my fans will react.”

“You know what?” Marinette throws her good arm in the air. “Do it. It’s either this or we make out in public at school tomorrow, and I’d rather save my eardrums from Alya.”

Adrien snorts. He types out casual sat afternoon gaming w my princess xx as a caption, tags marinettedesigned, then presses post, and it only takes literal seconds before notifications start pouring in by the scores.

“My god,” Marinette says over his shoulder as the notifications explode to the point where Adrien’s forced to silence his phone. “What must it be like to have a normal life?”

“I dunno,” Adrien says. “You tell me.” He twists to kiss Marinette, and she squeaks and nearly falls off the chaise.

“That’s cheating!” she complains. Before Adrien can make a witty response to that, Marinette’s phone starts to ring, and she groans as she grabs it to answer it. “Great. That’ll be Alya.”

“Pardon the fuck me?” shrieks Alya’s voice when Marinette presses answer, so loud that Adrien can hear even without the phone being on speaker. “Do you mind telling your best friend why she had to find out that you’re Adrien Agreste’s princess from Instagram? Like a common fangirl?”

“Uh, because it literally just happened two minutes ago?” Marinette says. Adrien settles back against her as she tries to soothe Alya’s wounded pride, and his eyes slip shut against his control because…lying here with Marinette is just so peaceful.

She must be dreaming, because there’s no way Marinette Dupain-Cheng is lucky enough in any universe to have two boys she loves be one and the same. But no, when she arrives at school the next morning and Adrien’s face lights up when he catches sight of her, she’s forced to concede that this is very much real.

“Marinette!” he calls, attracting the attention of everyone around him. Marinette speeds up into a run, her loose hair streaming behind her, because her boyfriend – her kitty, her lovebug – is waiting for her, and he’s so radiant, and it’s like she’s running on a cloud to get to him and sinking into sunlight when his arms are finally around her.

“You only saw me yesterday!” Marinette says into his shoulder. Around them are the sounds of people either cooing or loudly sobbing, but Marinette can’t bring herself to care about anyone else except the person holding her.

“Exactly,” Adrien says. “It’s been way too long.”

“Such a flatterer, my sunshine.”

“My sunshine? I like that one. Better than when Lila calls me mio sole.”

“Oh, hush, you silly sunshine prince.”

“Gag me,” mutters a familiar voice from behind them. Alya’s regarding them with crossed arms and a raised eyebrow, while Nino grins and shoots Adrien a thumbs-up from behind his girlfriend. “You’re gonna be that sickeningly sweet couple, aren’t you?”

“You’re just still bitter that you had to find out on Instagram,” Marinette teases. Alya rolls her eyes, but her lips do twitch, so she can’t truly be annoyed at Marinette and Adrien.

“Dude, how’d your old man take it?” Nino says as they head into the schoolyard. Marinette’s heart jolts.

“Oh! Right! You have to have told him, right?”

“Actually, he didn’t say much,” Adrien says. “He just gave me this look and said that so long as Marinette didn’t distract me from my obligations and we didn’t do anything to cause a scandal or make him look bad, he couldn’t care less who I dated. Although he did remember Marinette as the winner of his contest and the one who impressed Audrey Bourgeois, so you really made an impression on him, princess.”

Princess. Marinette giggles and rests her head against Adrien’s arm. She’s never going to get used to that, is she?

“Oh, hi, Chloé,” Alya says when a familiar face steps into their path. Chloé takes in Marinette and Adrien, then grimaces.

“Congratulations,” she forces out. “I’m happy for you, Adrien.”

Adrien’s face lights up. “Thanks, Chloé,” he says, and he lets go of Marinette to throw his arms around Chloé. After a moment, Chloé melts into his hug and pats his back, and Marinette had thought that she’d feel even a smidge of jealousy…but how can she, when the look on Chloé’s face is so genuinely blissful? After a moment, Chloé clears her throat and steps back.

“Just – you better not hurt him, Marinette, or I’ll destroy you,” a flustered Chloé says. “You’ll wish you’d never heard of him in your life.”

“Of course, Chloé,” Marinette says, rather than shooting back with snark like she would at any other time. “And thank you for being okay with us. It feels good to have the blessing of Adrien’s first friend.”

“Yeah, whatever,” Chloé scoffs. “You’re just lucky his best friend approves of you. I’m gonna go find Sabrina now so I don’t have to watch you two be disgusting.” She turns and struts off with her nose in the air, and Marinette exchanges a little grin with Adrien when she catches sight of a little yellow head poking out of Chloé’s purse. One look at Adrien’s matching grin confirms that he’s also seen Pollen.

“Oh my gosh, you two are together?” Lila seemingly appears out of nowhere, causing Marinette to jump. From her hazy memories of the day she’d broken her arm, she vaguely recalls a red and brown figure leading her away and saying something about Chat Noir, and although she can’t remember for sure if it’s Lila, it’s still enough to leave her just wary enough around the other girl.

“Um, yeah!” Adrien kisses Marinette on the top of the head. “Just yesterday, actually.”

“Really.” Lila beams, but there’s something…off in her eyes for the tiniest fraction of a second. It’s something that’s happened a few times now, but Lila’s been nothing but friendly despite her compulsive lying, so Marinette’s not sure if she can really trust what she sees. “That’s so amazing, guys! But I thought you weren’t into him anymore, Marinette?”

“I never said I wasn’t into him,” Marinette says. “I just put my crush aside to focus on being his friend.”

“And that’s when I realised I loved my angel,” Adrien says. Marinette groans and buries her flaming face in Adrien’s chest.

“Stop being such a sap, sunshine,” she mumbles.

“Aww,” Alya coos. Although Marinette can’t see her, the wicked smile on Alya’s face is audible.

“Well, you definitely deserve each other!” Lila says. “Oh, I have to go and call Paige Turner, the famous author! This would be the perfect inspiration for a book!”

“She’s totally lying,” Marinette grumbles when Lila’s gone.

“Yeah, but sooner or later, she’ll shoot herself in the foot,” Adrien says. “Jagged Stone, Clara Nightingale, Paige Turner…one day.”

“Alright, enough about that,” Alya says with an unnerving smile. “It’s interrogation time, you two!”

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dyker-farmer · 5 years

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Ok this was supposed to be a quick draw and a description to go with, that blew into a full chapter and now it's also on Ao3 SO happy reading ig idk

I never see Shane works that don't go all in for romance nor explore the more realistic ugly parts of recovery, and I kind of crave That TM. So let me have at it too with the self-insert whump mumbo jumbo; no romo version.

Set post-8 hearts event, Farmer Uidelsib is two years or so in, full house built and married to Emily. They/them pronouns, same as me.

Diverges from then on, Shane-centric from an outside POV for the most part.

[[MORE]]

Take that can away if you can.

Gulp it down. Chapter 1/2/3/4

There's a few to-know to survive life in society, in the valley; there's no good way to comment on the age nor weight of both resident housewives, you can't say no to Evelyn's homemade cookies- and why would you, you fool-, you do not fight at the Saloon or you'll get no cheese anymore on your pizza and only sparkling water for drinks, and-

And you don't mess with Shane's alcohol related ritual.

Except I did, that night, because you do that, when your two-years long friendship with the guy taught you better than letting his impulses overcome yours, when your buddy is trying to recover from teenage long-lasting into early adulthood, trauma-enhanced heavy addiction, and you know, you know tomorrow he'll feel like absolute shit and question his right to therapy the moment he'll stop his pounding skull from splitting. Wonders what a three-dosage paracetamol can do.

At least he doesn't drink it out anymore.

So yeah, when you're in my shoes, you get that Joja store-bought crap out of Shane's hand, and you brace yourself for the incoming lash out.

The first fractions of seconds are always those to look closely into most. It's only a glimpse, but before the scowl slips on like a well-worn boxing glove ready to strike, there is always this open page I learned I needed to decipher as quick as I could.

Tonight, it's heartbreaking. When I peck his forehead- doting big sibling habits die hard, even when you're actually the youngest of the pair- the eyes I catch looking at me are so confused and bare of any emotion, except for the sorrow that goes beer-soaked tears, it pangs. I get used to the breakdowns, working in the fields I do when I'm off the farm's, but it's not the same when it's a friend.

When I straighten back, offensive beverage in hand, it's already gone in a flinch, away from the empty space behind the chair and onto the table, as he snarls.

"Wha- giv'me back- 's mine!" I don't know how much he drunk before he met up with me, but from the slurring, it's a Lot. A season and a half into sobriety. That's harsh.

I ignore him and walk behind him, pondering where to put the beer for now.

"Y-you can't just do that! It's my booze I got with m'money, not some- who d'you think you are?-" He sputters indignantly, angry tears fewer than the sad ones but still there. He tries to turn around and grab behind his back, but the wild movement is way off and only gets the chair to nearly topples down. I rush in time to stabilize it, and profit off the moment to set a strong hand on his shoulder.

"I can just do that, 'cus it's my house I got with my money, and I think I'm your pal who knows when you've had enough. Dude, I trust you to be an adult, but minutes before, you were already so torched I had to keep your neck upright so you didn't faceplant into the table, and you nearly just kissed my floor good evening. Not to mention you clung to my arms the whole way from the little entry stairs to the kitchen because, quoting, 'If I don't I'll fall in the hole and won't get up'."

I turn to the fridge again, going to open it, before I think better of it. Likely enough, we'll both forget it was there in the first place, it'll stink up my fridge- it's Joja's- and it'll be money out of Shane's pocket for nothing. I set it on the counter, with the rest of the pack. He'll put it to cool down when he's back to Marnie's. Or he won't, probably.

That's not a worry for now.

When I caught up with him, it was a few feet below my doorstep; he'd probably slipped up trying to climb the three steps up to it, and settled for it. He was nursing that same can, muttering to himself, head down, curled up on himself. Except for that leg sticked out, he probably hurt it when he fell, I'll have to look at that and work on it if it's too swollen. Hopefully that'll spare us from a visit to Harvey's.

Bad memories. Not mine, and it's warm and not raining outside, but. Déjà-vu.

Anyways, he looked the picture of "help I've fallen and I can't get up- and even if I can I won't because Fuck You", and it's been a hassle to have him cooperate. But when I asked if he wanted to leave, he shook his head with a fervor no somnolent drunk should have. That resulted in a lovely streak of vomit down the wall right next to the door. That's also for later. If Eryza doesn't lap it up. Ew. This cat's never predictable.

Now, he's staring at his hands, sitting at my table, contemplating something too far down for me to see- or maybe just zoning out with a sleeping brain. Then he mumbles. "Sorry."

I get back to the table and sit at arm's length across of him. "Nah, 's okay. I don't mind being a helping hand or touchy-feely, must be the frog-eater in me. Not for the helping part." I'd chuckle but my quip falls on deaf ears.

I go to put my hand over his. When he doesn't blink at it, I try and shake a reply out of him, gently. He startles and hawkeyes our joined fingers. When he's finally looking at me, I raise a single eyebrow. He doesn't say anything, but when he pulls back his arm, I let him. We both straighten up, and it's hard to keep up the eye contact.

"So…" There's a heavy air on us. Suddenly, like the last year didn't happen, we're sitting a stride away of each other, and yet it feels like he's all the way back to the forest, looking down at waves.

"Do you want me to do something?" I bend myself a little closer to him, not moving otherwise.

He puts his head in his hands, shivering. Can't tell if it's the AC or his system kicking the alcohol out, or itself, in stress. I think I hear something, but it might as just be his shuddering breath.

"Shane" I insist, voice level, not pressing. "I need words. I want to help, I truly don't mind, but I need words to know what to do." He's never shown signs of going nonverbal before. If he does, I'll improvise. Until then… I need words.

Time ticks slowly as we wait. Then, with great effort and deep fatigue, he drags his palms up from under his nose to his temple, spreading some snot and wet tears across his face from his scrunched shut eyes. Lips trembling but finally showing, that attempt to let out a sound that's not too garbled. He coughs, sniffles a bit, breathe in again, sounding like a sick dog, and blows through gritted teeth before his jaws go slack. Eyes still closed, he whispers, and I have to lower myself some more toward his crouched form to catch it.

"Can I get something to drink…?" His voice is hoarse.

The demand could be comical, if we were into sour humor. And we usually are. But right now, we're not finding the joke in the lines. I stand silently, and as I walk to the fridge again, I let my hand brush his shoulder- same spot as before.

I take a minute to choose, look into the pantry. When I'm back at the table with my items of choice, he's still sitting there, his cheek is cushioned on his arms, face hidden from view. His shoulder, except for the occasional tremor, rise and fall in rythm with his snores. Breaks my heart to interrupt that, but not really. Hangovers are mean bitches with the sharpest nail art on the blackest of boards.

"Psst, dude. C'mon." I rustle his hair backward. He hates when I do that, says it tickles, and it makes him sneeze. So I obligatory do it once a day if I can. Let's say today's my late quota for the last four days I haven't seen him.

He gruffly tells me to kindly refrain from such pleasantries, and raise bleary eyes back up at the table. I can also guess he tried to bat a hand at me, but his coordination is off and he slaps himself lightly on the ear. Then he glares bewildered at his hand for a few seconds, obviously insulted. I profit of this moment to grab a small basin from under the sink, on second thought.

When he brings his attention back to me, I'm sitting again. Between us, a jug of fresh milk from this morning, a small sack of peppers, and a juice carafe sit aside a green glass bottle. There's also some bread, mostly for me to munch on. Because, hmmm dough. He squints at it all, especially at the bottle. Probably trying to read the label.

"Yeah no, didn't get you one of my best wine, not sorry."

"Hot pepper… juice?" He looks at the actual peppers next to it. "With actual peppers?" And then I get the squint too.

"Hmph, I know you like your elongated hell tomatoes, man, what can i say."

At that, a feeble snort.

I decide that it is the highlight victory of my soirée.

"Welp, have at it." I gesture to the half-liter liquor glass right by his left.

He fumbles with the drinks and some splashes around, but I lay back on my chair, arms crossed, letting him do his thing. While I don't hold back from growing downright doting on him when I got to- or even when I don't- I don't see how more devotion right now would be not smothering. He can break my fancy glass cups if he wants and spill my milk, so long he doesn't cut himself or cry over it.

Now, you could be thinking that plain water would have done the trick just fine, if not better, in rehydrating him. Here's the thing, though; going from booze to tasteless liquid, for Shane, that's a sure way to puking his heart out. And I'd rather not have us deal with an acid bile throat burn on top of near alcohol poisoning. Sorry to not spare you the squeamish details, but his oesophagus is pretty sensitive ever since that stomach pumping back at the clinic. Hot fiery hell fruits he can do just fine, with relative moderation and hydratation- hence the milk and juice- but liquor bursting its way back from his guts? Nuh uh.

It had taken lots of coaxing, but he'd explained the plain tastes, or lackthereof, were very hard for him to deal with, especially when contrasting with strong ones like beers and whiskeys. I'd shackle it to gustative hypostimulation, but I don't know enough about him that way to say. He'd said sparkling water was a good compromise.

But I don't have sparkling water, because I do not like suffering.

I might buy a pack for when he visits though.

And I do know a handful about him already. Shackle that to perceptiveness and a stubborn streak on top of a year and so long camaraderie.

And having a certain uncontrollable fear of failing to act quick the next time coped with by accumulating information and patterns compulsively.

I shake my head to focus on the present again. He's switched from juices to soaking bread in milk to eat it small portion after small portion. He pauses in mid-bite when he catches me staring. He's still hunched on himself and red-faced and a tad bloated. His cheeks are drying and he's blown his nose. I smile calmly. Worst of the storm passed, unless I screw up and blow it.

"Ywou wan' chom'?" He offers a dripping piece of bread. In moments like this, when he's sobering but not quite, the resemblance with Jas are unmistakable. The glint in his reddened eyes that open wide, and his blank-but-not-quite wondering expression, it's all here to paint a scrutinizing but vulnerable picture of tired but bright minds.

"Nah thanks. You done with that milk?"

"...Sure." He eyes it, wary. He knows where this is going, and he doesn't like it. I take the drink off the table, and his gaze follows my movement until I bring it to my lips.

He frowns. A silent warning.

And as I lock onto him with a dead stare, not blinking a millisecond, I down the rest of the 2 liters jug in three, five gulps. I even take the time to lick my new mustache away, and close my mouth with a click of my tongue.

His expression is the macabre marriage of beffudled horror and pure affliction, disgust if you will. The face of someone who doesn't hate milk, but has grown out of it enough to not be able to live off the stuff like the brave souls I'm apart of. And probably with reason, as I actually can't, like most 20+ years old, digest the liquid in large amount. But I smile like a smug cat, perfectly content.

Cats really can't digest milk once adults, it's all social mythos.

We silently judge and fuck with each other like that for a while more, as more time passes, until the room's elephant gets it all humid with its prancing around. Enough that tears and nervous sweats start again, for no apparent reasons but the residual anxiety from the whole chain of events that led to this.

"I think we should talk about this."

--- to be continued.

#alcohol cw #emetophobia cw #self hatred cw #stardew valley shane #sdv shane #stardew valley #stardew valley farmer #sdv farmer #1!Dow Farm #Farmer Uidelsib #☆my art☆#♧Shane #*watch me push my autistic headcanons onto chicken boi*#*just you wait for the trans and hispanic ones*#*i'm about to destroy this man whole career of self depreciation*#*highly functionning dumbass energy vs immovable but movable force of sadness*#food cw #*fuck tumblr for not letting me put a read more on mobile rip ur dash y'all*#☆writing☆

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