#shooting for an august publishing date maybe?

[jaime-brienne-fic-exchange]

Signups for the Fourth Annual Jaime x Brienne Fic Exchange 2023 are now open! 

What is the Jaime x Brienne Fic Exchange?

For the past few years, we’ve been running a mid-year (or thereabouts) exchange for all JB writers. Interested writers sign up via the above form, and are assigned prompts from another participant. They must then write one completed fic of at least 1000 words incorporating one (or more, if inspiration strikes!) of these prompts. Fics are then posted, anonymously, between August 21st and September 4th, before identities are revealed on September 12th! 

By the end of the exchange, a participant will have written one fic and received one fic. There is no upper limit on the length of the fic you can write, however it must be completed and fully posted by September 4th.

Is there a requirement to join?

You must have an AO3 account and be willing to write a complete story of at least 1000 words before the due date. It doesn’t matter if you’re an old pro or it’s your first time writing a fic for the fandom, or even your first time writing a fic ever. 

The only other requirement is that if you participated in the past and did not complete a fic or inform us before the no fault default date, you must complete a Little Oathkeeper of at least 1000 words before participating this year. (Unsure whether this applies to you? Please reach out and I’ll check!)

How does matching work?

We use Google Forms to try to ensure everyone gets prompts within their expressed interests. When you sign up, you will answer some questions about both your reading and writing preferences–ratings, canons, squicks and triggers–as well as supply three prompts. The organisers will then match you with someone whose preferences and prompts align with yours on as many points as possible, while keeping an element of randomisation. If you’re interested in reading E-rated book canon, we won’t assign your prompts to someone only interested in writing T-rated modern AU! 

What are prompts?

Prompts can be anything really! Maybe it’s your favourite trope, or a song that makes you think of Jaime and Brienne. Maybe there’s a piece of fanart that makes your heart go pitter-patter, or a fic premise you would love to see. All forms of prompts are welcome, though we ask you to keep in mind that they are meant to be a jumping off point for your writer and anything too sparse or too detailed might be difficult. A good rule of thumb is to provide prompts that would get your own mind whirling with possibilities! 

What are the key dates?

Signups are open from TODAY until MAY 28TH, 23:59 UTC. (What time is that for me?)

Assignments will be sent out by JUNE 5TH, and completed fics must be posted by SEPTEMBER 4TH. This is a later writing window than previous years due to some real life commitments.

Consequence-free dropout deadline is AUGUST 14TH. Any writers who dropout after this date or have incomplete fics at the end of the posting window will need to write a bonus gift before participating in future exchanges.

Fics are to be anonymously posted in the Ao3 collection between AUGUST 21ST and SEPTEMBER 4TH, and authors will be revealed SEPTEMBER 12TH. 

Fic posting guidelines will be published closer to the due date.

Are you doing Knight Writers again?

Of course! Life happens and you may not be able to complete a fic on time, and that’s okay! Knight writers are wonderful volunteers who will step in and write a fic when people are unable to complete their assignment. This year knight write requests will go out via email and the Transformatives Werks Discord, and you don’t need to be an exchange participant to join–just keep your eyes peeled on Discord, or shoot me an email as jbficexchange@gmail.com to be added to the mailing list for Knight Write requests.

Any questions? Send an ask!

Sign up here

[keydekyie]

Oh my god I'm done. I'm finally done. Holy shit.

~122,331 words~

31 chapters

fuckin... 6 years???

holy shit

[angryinternetduck]

Masterlist

harry styles x reader: 

Bet On It - 5.9k You and Harry are friends; you’re betting he wants more. It takes a few joking confessions of love, a no-show date, a yellow flower, and charming forms of communication to determine a winner. 

a ghost of a chance - 600 You just don’t have a ghost of a chance with Harry Styles.

oh to stay - 4.9k a friends with benefits situation featuring rules, tennis balls, and crumby bread puns. 

Lucky - 6.7k 🎃 The house is haunted, the cat is lucky, and the neighbor is not, in fact, a ghost. A halloween fic published in August!  Cocoa - 4.5k 🎄 A Christmas party at James Corden’s house turns into a hot chocolate excursion with Harry Styles. You’re supposed to call, he’s supposed to text, you look cute and in love... And according to Harry, you’ve got a nice voice. Harry Styles x famous!reader; a Christmas fic published in August <3 

sleepover - 1.5k Pure fluff. You and Harry have a sleepover, he does a gecko impression, and wow, he sure does love you a lot.  yellow & blue - 2.7k Pure angst. Harry reminiscing, regretting, despairing you and his relationship with you at the 2020 Brits. 

a mutual feeling - 9.5k You’re antsy, Harry’s not your friend, and the answer - is yes. Harry doesn’t do relationships but he does do sex. a boxerry au of sorts where Harry’s dad is your trainer but you’re a better fighter. 

When All Feels Lost - 30k Three chapters of you, a struggling actress, and Harry Styles, a has-been producer, trying to find a play just terrible enough to be perfect.  

Pickpocket - 1.5k Stolen rings, a far away Harry, and lots of ice cream. You moonlight as a pickpocket, and Harry’s proper entertaining.

‘twas the night before tour - 925 Quiet dinners, sweet singing, and clumsy dancing. When he comes back, he’ll bring you a wedding ring. 

goodnight n go - 5k Harry’s gotta go. He’s always gotta go, always just about to miss his train, and your apartment feels emptiest right after Harry leaves. Your heating’s down, Harry can’t cook, and it’s disorienting to wake up in Harry’s arms. A game of Go Fish and some not-so-cool moments later, and, well, Harry’s goodnight n go is pretty much out the window. Based off Ariana Grande’s goodnight n go! 

Key - 4.3k Harry’s a cute barista, he wore some atrocious neon green crocs, and his sole purpose in life is flattering you. You’ve got to quarantine, so you consider buying a monkey and painting the cafe. Two proposals and several cookie deliveries later, and still nobody knows what’s happening with quarantine. But you and Harry will figure it out together. Written for the Quarantine Challenge!

Questions - 855 He’s missing out on all the fun, you’re less subtle than you think you are, and Harry stole a telescope. Plus a shooting star. For the amazing Fic Slam!

A Clean Break - 1.9k  You said you wouldn’t cry, and he said it would be a clean break, but the “want” is present tense. Harry’s got a dog named Noodle.  Noodle - 2.2k The before and after of A Clean Break. Harry gets a dog, eats some ramen, and then takes a detour on his way to a double date. 

Sweet Creature - 1.2k It starts with a few notes, and ends in a kiss, and Harry’s written a new song.

I Guess So - ~400 You want to drive, but it’s just so hard to argue with Harry Styles. 

Sunshine - 4.6k Harry calls you Sunshine and you light up his world like nobody else. Only problem is that you’re both involved with other people. Then, suddenly, you’re not, and he’s not either, and Harry still compares you to a star. 

Cheers - a little under 1.5k  A college au kinda thing where you’re a bit tipsy, very rambly, and not a fan of the Christmas in July party you’re at. Written for the 20k fic celebration! 

Like a Fool - just under 2k A college au of a reader insert featuring a coffee discussion, some rom coms, and a bad Grease reference. Also, there’s a party, and there’s a kiss, and there’s just a bit of heartbreak.  ...In Love - 2.5k A little while later, and there’s a double date. Harry has a thing against pencil tapping, and this wasn’t his plan at all. One more double date, and a little switcheroo, and you’re a fool in love. [part two of Like a Fool]

Meant to Be - 1.5k It’s cheesy, but true: you and Harry were meant to be. You just hope your first fight won’t ruin everything. Written for the Boyfriendathon!

fireworks - 2.5k A reader insert featuring lots of fireworks, a lack of wine, and a New Year’s Eve party. Harry doesn’t like fireworks, but he gets them anyway. He should dye his hair pink. Some failed dates, a birthday surprise, a summer wedding.

Ice Cream - 1.5k Maybe you work at an ice cream shop. Maybe Harry Styles comes in one night, pissed off his face, and maybe he throws up all over you and figures he’s got to take you out to dinner to make up for it.

Brit Awards 2014 - 415 words He was having a wee. The toilets were ages away. Really.

harry styles x original female characters:

Kiwi - 2.3k

She’s crazy, she has a cactus, and she smells like caramel; Harry Styles is into it and gets a song out of it.

Carolina - 2.7k She’s got a family in Carolina, and she’s at a bar, and Harry Styles sees her, and they click, and then she’s gone, and Harry writes a song.

Canyon Moon - 3.2k She’s got a yellow guitar, and a rabbit named Rabbit, and Harry Styles keeps thinking back to that time under the canyon moon.

Only Angel - 2.3k She loves old rom coms, and she used to play piano, and she’s got Harry Styles wrapped around her little finger. She’s pandemonium, and there’s nothing she can do about it. Meet Me in the Hallway - 1.8k  She’s still pandemonium, but she’s breaking his heart. Over and over, but Harry can’t let her go, because she may be the pain, but she’s also the antidote. Arabella’s gotta get better, Harry needs his morphine, and purple is the color of royalty. [part two of Only Angel]

~ fic rec ~

[unearthcd]

kristine froseth, cis woman + she/her | you know august james pettersen, right? they’re 25, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, eighteen years? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to all these things i’ve done by the killers like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole handwritten notes, messy ponytails, spontaneous midnight excursions thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is january 1, so they’re a capricorn, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( tessa, 24, pst, she/her )

hey, babes! i’m tessa (24, pst, she/her) and i’ve been rp’ing on this blue website for way too many years. i’m stuck in this wonderful gossamer and wouldn’t have it any other way. anyway, below is august’s bio—she’s a newish muse, so i’m running with the vibe (for lack of a better word) and we’ll see how this goes! always feel free to message me to plot or chat here or on discord (swamp rabbit#1745). okay, let’s do the damn thing!

name: august james pettersen nicknames: aj, aug, a, james, etc. age, birth date: 25; january 1, 1996 hometown: irving, north carolina occupation: model sexuality: pansexual

growing up in irving

august james petterson is the daughter and only child of jameson and erik petterson. she’s the product of surrogacy, the men having sought out and found a lovely woman to help them have a child back in massachusetts where they previously lived. the hoops they went through to have their daughter and both legally be considered her parents were plenty, but with successful careers in architecture and publishing (think founder and editor and chief of something architectural digest-esque) they were able to commit the time and money to make it happen.

not a year after her birth, the three of them relocated to irving, north carolina to be with two of her grandparents whose health was rapidly deteriorating. having packed up their things and taken the short flight, they piled into the elderly couple’s sprawling home on aquila drive. ah, old money. sadly, they’d end up passing a few short years later, just before august started school. the family inherited great wealth and was left the house.

always a fairly quiet kid, august wasn’t the most social student in school. in fact, she spent much of her time with a small group of friends and, after branching out a small bit in high school, in the theatre department. long story short, she wasn’t a very popular person. in fact, with her apparent wealth and quiet demeanor, it wouldn’t surprise me if she was considered aloof, stuck up, or strange by her peers (but i’ll leave that UTY if they attended school together!). in earnest, she was just an observer and never enjoyed talking just to make noise. she liked having an intimate group and just doing what she enjoyed.

at the same time, the lack of a bursting social life and hijinks à la grease and clueless fed her early onset senioritis. she dreamed of and planned for getting out of irving. and when the time for college came, she did!

leaving home

we’d like to congratulate the senior class of 2014! that fall august moved to—drumroll please—new york city for college. what can i say, she’s an east coast babe. she got into NYU and studied english, thinking maybe she’d get into publishing down the line, because she’d always loved reading. truth be told, she wasn’t married to the idea. in fact, she wasn’t married to her education in the slightest. she’d chosen NYU purely based on location and, honestly, who can blame her (’:

her sophomore year of university one of her friends got it in her head to attend a modeling agency open call and, not wanting to go alone, convinced august to go along. while they weren’t interested in the friend, they did take an interest in her. and you know what? it made her feel special and wanted and admired. so she went with it and, with practice, became pretty damn good. her jobs, however, started interfering with her studies. so, without much convincing, she dropped out of school. she was making enough money to rent an apartment with a couple roommates in the village and made modeling her full-time gig. over the next few years her career began to take off a bit, with clients like for love & lemons and victoria’s secret pink (bc we have the real content, so why not use it?). probably a beauty campaign here and there. you know, commercial work etc. etc.

cue “dorothea,” you'rе a queen sellin' dreams, sellin' makeup and magazines

quiet, small town girl is on her way to making it big! whoo! right? well, there came a point where she became a total workhorse. august wanted to please—she wanted to find her place, her people—and, convinced this was it, she did everything in her power to keep moving up. she was a stray cat, she was looking to be taken in by anyone, praised and cared for for anything.

but that isn’t sustainable, and after a while she cracked a bit. ended up letting off steam by partying with so-called friends, picked up a small smoking habit she’s since been trying to kick since. befriended a band at some point (shout out to beau) and groupied the east coast leg of their tour for a couple weeks, because the front man asked and was charming and looked at her like she was exceptional. then the magic faded and she left to go back to her little apartment and next booked job. really, she was just going where she felt people wanted her and everyone kept telling her it was great! everything’s fine!

coming back // present

she realized after that that she’d fallen into this entire thing and, while she was grateful for much of it, she had to wonder if she even liked it. it really hit her one day smack in the middle of a job. that evening she went home, once again packed up her things, and flew home. a special kind of subtle chaos. a not-at-all-adventurous eat, pray, love.

i want to say her agents aren’t the worst people in the world and, while angered by her abrupt departure, realized she needed a break. like, a month-long visit home. it was the holidays and her birthday, after all! lol, oh, no. bets on when they start calling her like, ‘hey, where the hell are you, what’s the deal’?

now, after dropping out of school and putting her career on pause (?), she’s back living with her parents, probably looking at her savings account and wondering if she has enough $$$$ to rent an apartment or room [potential connection idea?] until she decides wtf she’s doing. she’s stuck between feeling like she’s backsliding and feeling like she needs to take the time to figure out what she wants.

personality // fun facts

+ lively, spontaneous, passionate, humorous (or so she likes to think)

- lost, impulsive, insecure in many ways

tiktoks for the vibe: 1, 2, 3

being an adult is a scam

*calls u dude and babe in the same sentence*

she wasn’t bored, she was just restless between adventures

the first person to laugh at herself.

let’s-screw-around-and-talk-about-nothing-for-hours-until-it-inevitably-turns-into-something-deep.

“i always feel like, when i meet people, they have a bigger impact on me than i maybe do on them.”

very honest. the girl isn’t messing around (unless she totally is)!! will ask you out as soon as the thought occurs to her, like, “hey, uh, we should go out sometime. (:” :slight_smile:

very, very dreamy, but head not empty, head filled with the same bit of film dialogue on repeat over and over for, like, a week. head still processing the end of a book she finished two weeks ago. head making up prose about the faint freckles on the bridge of your nose and the way your hand’s moving about.

big music person, be it modern, classical, live, vinyl. attaches a lot of emotions and memories to songs. 98% chance you’ll find her at the nearest bar hosting live music, right up front.

her penmanship is beautiful, thanks to a love of the written word. she’d rather stick a post-it note on your door than shoot you a text. loves letters, postcards, etc.

does want to whisk you away on fun, spontaneous adventures, but will go by herself if for whatever reason you’re not available or up for it.

[path-of-my-childhood]

Taylor Swift Bent the Music Industry to Her Will

By: Lindsay Zoladz for Vulture Date: December 30th 2019

In the 2010s, she became its savviest power player.

n late November 2019, Taylor Swift gave a career-spanning performance at the American Music Awards before accepting the statue for Artist of the Decade. (Swift was perhaps the perfect cross between the award’s two previous recipients, Britney Spears and Garth Brooks.) Clad in a cascading rose-colored cape and holding court among the younger female artists in attendance - 17-year-old Billie Eilish, 22-year-old Camila Cabello, 25-year-old Halsey - Swift had the queenly air of an elder stateswoman. After picking up five additional awards, including Artist of the Year, she became the show’s most decorated artist in history. “This is such a great year in music. The new artists are insane,” she declared in her acceptance speech, with big-sister gravitas. That night, she finally outgrew that “Who, me?” face of perpetual awards-show surprise; she accepted the honors she won like an artist who believed she had worked hard enough to deserve them.

Swift cut an imposing adult figure up there, because somewhere along the line she’d become one. The 2010s have coincided almost exactly with Swift’s 20s, with the subtle image changes and maturations across her last five album cycles coming to look like an Animorphs cover of a savvy and talented young woman gradually growing into her power. And so to reflect on the Decade in Taylor Swift is to assess not just her sonic evolutions but her many industry chess moves: She took Spotify to task in a Wall Street Journal op-ed and got Apple to reverse its policy of not paying artists royalties during a three-month free trial of its music-streaming service. She sued a former radio DJ for allegedly groping her during a photo op and demanded just a symbolic victory of $1, as if to say the money wasn’t the point. Critics wondered whether she was leaning too heavily on her co-writers, so she wrote her entire 2010 album, Speak Now, herself, without any collaborators. In 2018, she severed ties with her longtime label, Big Machine Records, and negotiated a new contract with Universal Music Group that gave her ownership of her masters and assurance that she (and any other artist on the label) would be paid out if UMG ever sold its Spotify shares. Yes, she stoked the flames of her celebrity feuds with Kanye West, Kim Kardashian West, and Katy Perry plenty over the past ten years, but she’s also focused some of her combative energy on tackling systemic problems and fashioning herself into something like the music industry’s most high-profile vigilante. Few artists have made royalty payments and the minutiae of entertainment-law front-page news as often as Swift has.

Within the industry, Swift has always had the reputation of being something of a songwriting savant (in 2007, when “Our Song” was released, then-17-year-old Swift became the youngest person ever to write and perform a No. 1 song on the Billboard Country chart), but she has long desired to be considered an industry power player, too. A 2011 New Yorker profile of Swift circa her blockbuster Speak Now World Tour noted that she initially intended to follow her parents’ footsteps and pursue a career in business, quoting her saying, “I didn’t know what a stockbroker was when I was 8, but I would just tell everybody that’s what I was going to be.” In an even earlier interview, she fondly recalled the times in elementary school when she stayed up late with her mother, practicing for school presentations. “I’m sick of women not being able to say that they have strategic business minds - because male artists are allowed to,” she said this year in an unusually candid Rolling Stone interview. “And I’m so sick and tired of having to pretend like I don’t mastermind my own business.” Of course, she still spent plenty of time sitting at her piano or strumming her guitar, but in that conversation she painted herself as someone who is also “sit[ting] in a conference room several times a week,” coming up with ideas about how best to market her music and her career.

And so over the past decade, Swift’s face has appeared not just on magazine covers and television screens, but on UPS trucks and Amazon packages. Her songs have been featured in Target commercials and NFL spots, to name just two of her many lucrative partnerships. That New Yorker profile also found her to be uncommonly enthused about the fact that her CDs were being sold in Starbucks: “I was so stoked about it, because it’s been one of my goals - I always go into Starbucks, and I wished that they would sell my album.”

“Taylor Swift is something like the Sheryl Sandberg of pop music,” Hazel Cills wrote recently in Jezebel. “She has propelled her career from tiny country artist into pop machine over the past few years with little shame when it comes to corporate collaborators.” Such brazen femme-capitalism will always be a turnoff to some people (“the Sheryl Sandberg of pop music” is even less of a compliment in 2019 than it was when Lean In was first published), but it’s undeniable that it has helped Swift maintain and leverage her status as a commercial juggernaut more consistently than any other pop star over the past ten years.

In the 2010s, with the clockwork certainty of a midterm election, there was a Taylor Swift album every other autumn. (Yes, there was a three-year gap between 1989 and Reputation, but she all but made up for it with the quick timing of August’s Lover.) The kinds of pop superstars considered her peers did not stick to such rigid schedules: Adele released two studio albums this decade, Beyoncé released three, and even Rihanna - who for the first three years of the decade was averaging an album a year - eventually slowed her roll and will have released just four when the 2010s are all said and done. The only A-plus-list musician who saturated the market as steadily as Swift did this decade was Drake.

Still, Drake’s commercial dominance was more of a newfangled phenomenon, capitalizing on the industry’s sudden reliance on streaming and his massive popularity on platforms like Spotify and Apple Music. Drake might be the artist who rode the streaming wave most successfully this decade, but - with her strategic withholding of her albums from certain platforms until they better compensated artists - Swift was often the one bending it to her will. And she could do that because she didn’t need to rely on it solely: Somehow, against all odds, Taylor Swift still sold records. Like, gazillions of them. When Swift’s 2017 record, Reputation (some critics thought it was a critical misstep, but it certainly wasn’t a commercial one), moved 1.216 million units in its first seven days, Swift became the only artist in history to achieve four different million-selling weeks. And, of course, all four of these weeks came during a decade when traditional album sales were on a precipitous decline. At least for those mere mortals who were not an all-powerful being named Taylor Alison Swift.

“Female empowerment” has been such an ambient, unquestioned virtue of the pop culture of this decade that we have too often failed to take a step back and ask ourselves what sort of power is being advocated for, and if its attainment should always be a cause for celebration. Is “female empowerment” any different from the hollow, materialistic promises of the late ’90s “girl power”? Is “female power” inherently different or more benevolent than its default male counterpart? Maybe this feels like such a distinctly American hang-up because we have not yet experienced that mythic, oft-imagined figure of the First Female President, and have thus not had to contend with the cold reality that, whoever she is, she will, like all of us, be inevitably flawed, imperfect, and at least occasionally disappointing.

As she’s grown into her own brand of 21st-century American pop feminism - sometimes elegantly, sometimes gawkily - Swift seems to have come to a firm conviction that female power is essentially more virtuous than the male variety. This was a side of herself she celebrated in her AMA performance. Swift opened her medley with a few fiery bars of “The Man,” her own personalized daydream of what gender equality would look like: “I’m so sick of running as fast as I can,” she sings, “wondering if I’d get there quicker if I was a man.” She wore an oversize white button-down onto which the titles of her old albums were stamped in a correctional-facility font: SPEAK NOW, RED, 1989, REPUTATION. Plenty of the millions of people who scrutinize Swift’s every move interpreted her choice of outfit and song as not-so-subtle jabs at Big Machine’s Scott Borchetta and the manager-to-the-stars Scooter Braun, with whom Swift is still in a messy, uncommonly public battle over the fate of her master recordings. (The only album title missing from her outfit was “LOVER,” which happens to be the only one of which she has full ownership.) She has framed the terms of her battle with Borchetta and Braun in strikingly gendered language: “These are two very rich, very powerful men, using $300 million of other people’s money to purchase, like, the most feminine body of work,” she told Rolling Stone. “And then they’re standing in a wood-panel bar doing a tacky photo shoot, raising a glass of Scotch to themselves.” Though she is herself a very rich, very powerful woman, she reads their message to be unquestionably condescending: Be a good little girl and shut up.

It is true that many record contracts are designed to take advantage of young artists, and that young women and people of color are probably perceived by music executives to be the marks most vulnerable to exploitation. But it is also true that Swift signed a legally binding contract, the kind that a businesswoman like herself would have to respect if it were signed by somebody else. Braun, who has been asking to have these negotiations in private rather than on Twitter, claims to have received death threats from her fans.

Even as she’s grown into one of the most dominant pop-culture figures in the world, Swift sometimes still seems to be clinging to her old underdog identity, to the extent that she can fail to grasp the magnitude of her own power or account for the blind spots of her privilege. “Someday I’ll be big enough so you can’t hit me,” she sang on Speak Now’s Grammy-winning 2010 single “Mean,” seemingly oblivious to the fact that, compared to 99.99 percent of the population, she already was. The mid-decade backlash to Swift’s thin-white-celebrity-and-model-studded “girl squad” - none of which was more incisive than Lara Marie Schoenhals’s hilarious parody video - took her by surprise. “I never would have imagined that people would have thought, This is a clique that wouldn’t have accepted me if I wanted to be in it... I thought it was going to be we can still stick together, just like men are allowed to.”

“Female power” is not automatically faultless, and can of course be tainted by all other sorts of biases and assumptions about class, race, and sexual orientation, to name just a few more common pitfalls. Swift’s face-palm-inducing 2015 misunderstanding with Nicki Minaj revealed this, of course, and plenty of people felt that her sudden embrace of the LGBTQ community in the “You Need to Calm Down” was a clumsy overcorrection for her past silence. Maybe she would have gotten where she was quicker if she were a man. But it would take a more complicated, and perhaps less catchy, song to acknowledge she might not have gotten there at all had she not also enjoyed other privileges.

Art has its own kind of power - sneakier and harder to measure than the economic kind. The reason Taylor Swift has been worth talking about incessantly for an entire decade is that she continues to wield this kind, too. “I don’t think her commercial responsibilities detract from her genuine passion for her craft,” a then-17-year-old Tavi Gevinson wrote in a memorable 2013 essay for The Believer. “Have you ever watched her in interviews when she gets asked about her actual songwriting? She becomes that kid who’s really into the science fair.”

After so much industry drama, much of the lived-in, self-reflective Lover is a simple reminder that Swift was and still is a singular songwriter. Yes, this was the decade of such loud, flashy missteps as “Look What You Made Me Do,” “Welcome to New York,” and “Me!,” but it was also a decade of so many quieter triumphs: the pulsing synesthesia of “Red,” the nervous heart flutter of “Delicate,” the sleek sophistication of “Style,” the concise lyricism of “Mean,” the cathartic fun of “22,” the slow-dance swoon of “Lover.” But like so many of her fans, and even Swift herself, I still find the most enduringly powerful song she’s ever written to be “All Too Well,” the smoldering breakup scrapbook released on her great 2012 album Red. “Wind in my hair, I was there, I remember it all too well,” she sings, an innocent enough lyric that, by the end of the song, comes to glint like a switchblade. In a decade of DGAF, ghosting, and performative chill, remembering it all too well might be Swift’s stealthiest superpower. She felt it deeply, can still access that feeling whenever she needs to, and that means she can size you up in a line as concisely cutting as “so casually cruel in the name of being honest.” Forget Jake Gyllenhaal or John Mayer. That’s the sort of observation that would bring Goliath to his knees.

“It is still the case that when listeners hear a female voice, they do not hear a voice that connotes authority,” the historian Mary Beard writes in her manifesto Women & Power, “or rather they have not learned how to hear authority in it.” At least in the realm of pop music, Swift has spent the better part of her decade chipping away at that double standard, and teaching people how to think about cultural power a little bit differently. She sprinkled artful emblems of teen-girl-speak through her smash hits (“Uhhh he calls me and he’s like, ‘I still love you,’ and I’m like, ‘This is exhausting, we are never getting back together, like, ever”) and did not abandon her effusive love of kittens and butterflies in order to be taken seriously. As an artist and a businesswoman, she made the power of teen girls - and the women who used to be them - that much more perilous to ignore. Because they’ve been there all along, and they remember all too well.

[melyaliz]

Past loves and future babies pt. 8

Masterlist

Fandom: Marvel (MCU) 

Pairing: Steve Rogers x OC (Read like) 

Notes: Hey hi hello! It’s been a rough week and I kept telling myself I would get to this but with editing the novel, trying to publish/market a short story, and getting my website up this slipped through the cracks. 

And then one of my friends passed away Friday and MAN the end of August had been insane and I’m still in this weird fog of like “what is going on?”

ANYWAY! Special thank you to  @little-dark-empress and @idk123906​ of asking to join the Tag Team! 

All Masterlists @melyalizarchive

Connect with me! AO3 / Instagram / Pinterest

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“Oh hello, beautiful!” Dixie sighed, throwing herself onto the bed pulling the pillow to herself. Cuddling up she let out a long sigh of pure contentment. What was it about a fresh bed after a long emotional day that just… was the most wonderful thing in the world? 

Behind her she could hear Steve chuckle. Glancing up between messy hair and fluffy cotton she could barely see him grabbing some pajama pants from the dresser. 

“Are you going to change?” he asked 

Rolling onto her back Dixie heaved a huge side. The worst thing in the world is having to leave a bed once you have curled up in it’s wonderful fluffy embrace. “I guess…” she drawled, dragging her words out as if it would extend her stay.

Something hit her and she blinked sitting up looking at an oversized tee shirt sitting in her lap. Steve had turned his pack to her gong toward the bathroom to change. Ever the gentleman as always. They were supposed to be going at it like rabbits yet he still afforded her whatever privacy he could. 

“You know what,” Dixie said, kicking off her pants and shirt before slipping on the oversized tee, “We should start buying pjs and splitting them, you can have the pants and I'll take the tops.” 

“That sounds like a good idea.” he said coming back in. The sweats hanging low on his hips showing off that beautiful torso of his. It was kind of unfair how perfect his body was really. 

“I’m nothing if filled with good ideas. Some would even say it’s my only quality.” 

Steve came and laid down next to her looking up at her from his side, his propped up by his arm. 

“I wouldn’t say that’s your only quality.” his hand brushing the hem of her shirt absentmindedly, “You’re also very caring.” 

Dixie looked down at him, her own gaze meeting those large blue eyes so focused on nothing. Lost in his own thoughts.

Then he looked up at her.

And Dixie felt the very familiar clench in her stomach where she wasn’t sure if she was going to be sick. His look was so intense. So deep and genuine it made her want to run. It’s that panic, the dred when you are in the ocean and come up for air only to see another huge wave rolling over you. That feeling of being tossed unsure what way is up as the water rushes through your ears. 

“You are just so focused,” he continued, “You have a way of just taking things as they are accepting the problem as it is before attacking it. I’ve never met anyone like that.” he wasn’t looking away, his gaze was so steady she felt like she was a deer caught in a headlights.

Why is he saying this? Why would he think that? 

“We… I... “ she looked away, the urge to leave so strong she almost did it. Why was it so hard to take a compliment? Why couldn’t she be grateful for the kind words. “You can only solve a problem if you know it’s there. Everyone knows that.”

He chuckled rolling onto his back, finally looking away from her. Breaking the spell that he had been holding over her. It was like a breath of fresh air. Slowly she was able to climb back onto shore away from those deep blue eyes. 

“I guess I do that too, but with my fists. Bucky always used to get mad at me for not backing down from any fight.” 

“See, maybe that’s why we were chosen, because we wouldn’t give up.” 

“Yeah.”

Where they even chosen? The message had been so unclear. Part of her wondered how they had actually met. What was that meet-cute that had caused that cattolious for this future savior of the universe.  

“Cool” she scooted down into the covers, not sure what to say. Cool works I guess. Pulling the covers around herself getting ready to try and sleep. Although all the exhaustion she had previously felt was suddenly gone. Her body felt like it was burning up. Buzzing with an energy that she needed to run out. 

“Thank you,” it was soft, more of a whisper, maybe more to himself than to her. 

Turning she looked at him. Eyes locking, both studying the other lit by only the bedside light. Giving them a warm golden glow. 

“Thank you” he said again gently brushing away a few strands of hair from her face. Playing with the locks watching them fall from his fingers, “For reminding me of who I was.” 

There it was again. That unbalanced. That pounding in her heart that she wasn’t sure if it was a panic attack or something else. All she could do was nod as he leaned forward gently kissing her forehead. So soft and tender. 

Her hand found his fingers just a few inches away, unsure what to do she placed her hand over his. He made the move forward twisting his plan so his larger hand was enveloping her own. Fingers intertwining he pulled her closer to him moving his body over hers. She didn’t fight him. She wasn’t even sure how. 

His body was so much bigger than hers. Something that was painfully obvious as he leaned over her kissing her nose before pulling away to look down at her. Their hands still intertwined; he pulled it toward his mouth, kissing her fingers one at a time. His eyes never leaving hers. 

Her heart, her poor heart. It wasn’t sure if it wanted to flutter with excitement or pure anxiety. As it was she vaguely wondered if she might have a heart attack. Or maybe it would drop into her stomach and bleed out. 

Their lips met in a chaste kiss. Gentle as he asked for her permission. He never went too far, always slow and hesitant waiting to see if she would pull away. 

She wanted to pull away. 

Not like this. Not after what he had said to her. Not with the way he was kissing her. It was too sweet, too tender. It was too intimate. 

She had to be so scared of being intimate with someone. 

He pulled away again and studied her. Their eyes locked, both looking for something. 

Fuck. 

She had told him he needed to work on whatever was stopping him. But what about her? Her fears of getting hurt was making her get more hurt. It was simple, she could enjoy what this was without falling in love. All she had to do was stop thinking about it. 

After all romance, love, it is all mental. So if you say you're not in love you aren’t. 

Pushing herself forward she kissed him. Made the first move. Enjoying his taste, the feeling of his body over her. Her free hand moving to his broad shoulders gently moving over them. Pulling him closer to her. He lowered himself posisting his body between her legs as he kissed her back. 

He felt good over her, his hips gently brushing over hers slowly warming her body. All those cloudy emotions slowly being pushed away by another emotion. 

She pushed her hips up closer to his grinding up into him. She could feel his bulge through the thin material of his sweats. Letting out a soft grunt he pushing into her. Riding her panties with his own sweats. There was a slight falter and something cracked.  

Something about it made her laugh. Them dry humping like a couple of teenagers. 

Steve pulled away slightly looking down at her as she curled up giggling “I’m sorry” she said trying to pull herself together but she couldn’t help it. 

“What?” 

“I just… Why is this always so awkward? I just can’t see you as ” she giggled “I just” she burst out giggling again. 

Steve sighed “Maybe if we just kiss?” 

That made it worse. Maybe they would play some 90’s love ballads too? Boys to Men anyone? You know to get in the mood? 

Chuckling Steve rolled onto his back watching her a smile on his lips. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry” she giggled trying to compose herself. 

“No, I like you like this.” Steve said then propping himself up he studied her, “It’s late and there is no rush. How about I take you out on a proper date tomorrow?” 

“What?” she frowned.

“Well this isn’t working so let’s actually try to get to know each other.” he reasoned 

“That makes sense” she nodded as Steve reached out grabbing her arm pulling her close to him. Cuddling up wrapping his body around her with a new determination.  “Tomorrow I want to take you out dancing.” 

“Ok” She told him softly her fingers brushing over his strong arms that were wrapped around him. Although she was pretty sure there wasn’t a place they could do his type of dancing but she also didn’t want to say that and runin the moment. He was moving past a heartbreak. Let him believe taking someone out dancing was still a thing. 

Maybe it was. Honestly Dixie had never been to Georgia who knew what mythical date stops it held.  

This was for the future she thought softly. It was for their baby. After all, shouldn't their child know they had a good relationship. As she let her body relax in his embrace she told herself this was fine. She would be fine when he left. 

“Besides,” Steve said, “I like this” he mumbled in her hair 

“I am pretty cuddly,” Dixie giggled, poking her thick stomach only to have Steve move her finger away so he could wrap his arms tighter around her waist. 

“You really are.” 

--------------------

“There is no such thing as dinner and dancing anymore” Wanda sighed as Steve stood there looking helpless. He had gathered his team together ot help him plan out the best date for dixie and they were worse than useless. Instead of being helpful Sam had started cracking jokes. Bucky had gotten mad Sam wasn't taking it seriously. Tony had just chuckled with a glass of Whiskey watching them fight. While Wanda tried her best to be helpful by shooting down every idea Steve had. 

“I promised her,” it came out more needy than he meant. He just wanted to do something nice for the pretty girl. After all Dixie had put up with so much these past few weeks. She deserved to be taken out on the town.  

“You’re little Captain Kirk isn’t going to be upset with what you do. She knows she’s here to help save the future.” Tony shrugged, “Just take her out to dinner and a movie or something.” 

“Yeah man, why dancing?” Sam asked, still unable to wrap his mind around the fact that even after all this time Steve thought there were clubs with big bands that people requested where they could dance. 

“I want her to feel special” 

“Whatever you do I think she’ll feel special that you planned it,” Wanda said softly. “I think she just wants to feel like she belongs here.” 

Steve turned to her surprised. He had never thought of that before. Dixie always seemed pretty content to just live her life. Sure she interacted with the other avengers but she normally kept to herself. Happily doing her own routine, the only person she really interacted with on a semi daily basics was the little witch.  

He was about to respond when the alarm for the base went off. The avengers looked up confused as the sirens blared lights flickering around them. 

“That’s not a good sign. Tony mumbled standing up

----------

Dixie sighed, running her fingers through her hair as she looked over her stuff hanging in the small walk-in closet. What kind of shit does one wear to go dancing? She hadn’t really packed any club clothes and even if she had it’s not like she could picture Steve at a club. Although she also wasn’t sure what other kind of dancing they could be doing. 

Maybe she should have asked. 

Was there time to drag Wanda out to get an outfit? 

Was it even worth buying an outfit? 

Since moving in with the Avengers she had been given a small salary for… baring Mr America’s children. Honestly thinking about it now she wasn’t much more than a glorified hooker. It wasn’t like they were paying her for much other than to get pregnant. 

She really wasn’t earning her keep was she. 

Eh, money is money. 

But back to the moment at hand. 

What does one wear to a dancing date with a man who grew up in the 40’s. 

Most of her clothes consisted of leggings and jeans. Lots of fun graphic tees and a pair of leather leggings she just couldn't part with. Slowly moving stuff aside her eyes landed on that one black dress that every girl needs in her closet. The one she would use to sneak into buildings and stuff. It was but a simple sheath dress that could be dressed up or down. 

You can never go wrong with a black dress really. 

Slipping it up she studied herself in the mirror. 

It did fit her perfectly and she had been grateful when Mac had made her buy it. Guess it would help her sneak into Steve’s dick.

Although that metaphor kind of didn’t work but hey, a girl’s got to try. 

“This is going to be good” she told herself in the mirror pulling her hair back trying to decide how she wanted to wear it, “You got this Dixie, you are a fucking queen.” 

Flashing herself a smile started to unzip the dress when her phone ran. Frowning, she picked it up, seeing Mac’s name on the ID. he never called her without texting her first. Something was up. 

Something not good. 

“Hey Mac what’s going on. 

“Dixie, you have a problem.” 

As if on que the lights flickered and alarms blared over head. Quickly zipping back up her dress Dixie ran toward the door of her apartment. 

“What the fuck?” 

-GET TAGGED!- 

Masterlist

Forever tag:  @the-shadow-of-atlantis​​​ @coffee-randomness​​​ @0hmydeku​ @xx3fsxx​ @daisyboobear​​​  @jason-redhood​​ @hello-i-lovespiderman-blr​  @pinkwitch21 @tomhncharliep  @cdwmtjb8​ @thespacebuns​​

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[richincolor]

Title: Dating Makes Perfect Author: Pintip Dunn Publisher: Entangled Teen Pages: 278 Availability: August 18, 2020 Review copy: ARC via publisher

Summary: The Tech sisters don’t date in high school. Not because they’re not asked. Not because they’re not interested. Not even because no one can pronounce their long, Thai last name—hence the shortened, awkward moniker. But simply because they’re not allowed.

Until now.

In a move that other Asian American girls know all too well, six months after the older Tech twins got to college, their parents asked, “Why aren’t you engaged yet?” The sisters retaliated by vowing that they won’t marry for ten (maybe even twenty!) years, not until they’ve had lots of the dating practice that they didn’t get in high school.

In a shocking war on the status quo, her parents now insist that their youngest daughter, Orrawin (aka “Winnie”), must practice fake dating in high school. Under their watchful eyes, of course—and organized based on their favorite rom-coms. ’Cause that won’t end in disaster.

The first candidate? The son of their longtime friends, Mat Songsomboon—arrogant, infuriating, and way too good-looking. Winnie’s known him since they were toddlers throwing sticky rice balls at each other. And her parents love him.

If only he weren’t her sworn enemy.

Review: The summary had me immediately. Do I love fake dating stories? Yes. I’ll admit it. Enemies forced together? Yes. That too. There are lots of rom-com formulas here, but they’re so fun. One reason there are so many is that Orrawin’s mom is planning the dating practice and based on rom-coms she and her husband have watched. You’ll see nods to Always Be My Maybe, To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before, Pretty Woman, When Harry Met Sally and many more.

In addition to rom-com references, there are so many mentions of food. So, so many. You do not want to be hungry when you read this. That would be pure torture. Orrawin, also known as Winnie, loves food and focuses on it quite a bit. She’s not particularly interested in cooking, but certainly makes a point to appreciate everything that finds it’s way onto her plate. Food is also one way to win her heart. Seeing all of the mouth-watering descriptions may inspire readers to head to the kitchen or nearest Thai restaurant. Sometimes authors or readers create an audio playlist for a novel, this one is calling out for an accompanying cookbook.

Besides a serious appreciation for food, Winnie is also an artist and spends a lot of time sketching Mat so she can shoot Nerf darts at his annoyingly attractive image. Winnie made me smile so many times with her goofiness. She also has the ability to find joy in small things like a skirt featuring the heads of cats or tights decorated with hedgehogs, which is also endearing.

As a child of immigrants, she is walking the tightrope of trying to find her way without disappointing her parents. Her family and her Thai culture are extremely important to her. This is how she gets all mixed up with the fake dating scenario though. She doesn’t think she can fully be herself and still keep everyone happy. There are plenty of cringe-worthy moments as she struggles to find her way. There are also sweet, fumbly, romantic scenes too.

Recommendation: Get it soon especially if you’re looking for something to make your heart a little lighter. Winnie shines brightly and her story is just the thing if you’re wanting or needing a distraction.

[acoolchickouthere13]

July 10, 2019- Amazon prime day concert

July 23, 2019- shares likes with Joe on Instagram, shoots the lover music video, releases the Archer single in the livestream, and gets VMA nominations, does an interview with CBS Sunday morning

First secret session in London Friday August 2nd, 2019

Karlie Kloss turns 27 August 3, 2019

I still believe this was taken during the Australia winter 2016 trip, when Taylor was “26”

August 4th, 2019

Second secret session in Nashville Sunday August 4th, 2019(Over 100 fans were in attendance, apparently, as the event was said to include guests from a Nashville session AND an alleged Rhode Island session. (There are rumors the original Rhode Island session was canceled because the date got leaked))

August 5th, 2019 Nashville

“When we talked seven years ago, everything was going so well for you, and you were very worried that something would go wrong.

Yeah, I kind of knew it would. I felt like I was walking along the sidewalk, knowing eventually the pavement was going to crumble and I was gonna fall through. You can’t keep winning and have people like it. People love “new” so much — they raise you up the flagpole, and you’re waving at the top of the flagpole for a while. And then they’re like, “Wait, this new flag is what we actually love.” They decide something you’re doing is incorrect, that you’re not standing for what you should stand for. You’re a bad example. Then if you keep making music and you survive, and you keep connecting with people, eventually they raise you a little bit up the flagpole again, and then they take you back down, and back up again. And it happens to women more than it happens to men in music.

But you also had good things happen in your life at the same time — that’s part of Reputation.

The moments of my true story on that album are songs like “Delicate,” “New Year’s Day,” “Call It What You Want,” “Dress.” The one-two punch, bait-and-switch of Reputation is that it was actually a love story. It was a love story in amongst chaos. All the weaponized sort of metallic battle anthems were what was going on outside. That was the battle raging on that I could see from the windows, and then there was what was happening inside my world — my newly quiet, cozy world that was happening on my own terms for the first time. . . . It’s weird, because in some of the worst times of my career, and reputation, dare I say, I had some of the most beautiful times — in my quiet life that I chose to have. And I had some of the most incredible memories with the friends I now knew cared about me, even if everyone hated me. The bad stuff was really significant and damaging. But the good stuff will endure. The good lessons — you realize that you can’t just show your life to people….words are my only way of making sense of the world and expressing myself — and now any words I say or write are being twisted against me. People love a hate frenzy. It’s like piranhas. People had so much fun hating me, and they didn’t really need very many reasons to do it. I felt like the situation was pretty hopeless. I wrote a lot of really aggressively bitter poems constantly. I wrote a lot of think pieces that I knew I’d never publish, about what it’s like to feel like you’re in a shame spiral. And I couldn’t figure out how to learn from it. Because I wasn’t sure exactly what I did that was so wrong. That was really hard for me, because I cannot stand it when people can’t take criticism. So I try to self-examine, and even though that’s really hard and hurts a lot sometimes, I really try to understand where people are coming from when they don’t like me. And I completely get why people wouldn’t like me. Because, you know, I’ve had my insecurities say those things — and things 1,000 times worse….But I can’t really respond to someone saying, “You, as a human being, are fake.” And if they say you’re playing the victim, that completely undermines your ability to ever verbalize how you feel unless it’s positive. So, OK, should I just smile all the time and never say anything hurts me? Because that’s really fake. Or should I be real about how I’m feeling and have valid, legitimate responses to things that happened to me in my life? But wait, would that be playing the victim? ...I needed to grow up in many ways. I needed to make boundaries, to figure out what was mine and what was the public’s. That old version of me that shares unfailingly and unblinkingly with a world that is probably not fit to be shared with? I think that’s gone. But it was definitely just, like, a fun moment in the studio with me and Jack [Antonoff] where I wanted to play on the idea of a phone call — because that’s how all of this started, a stupid phone call I shouldn’t have picked up….I don’t think I’ve ever leaned into the old version of myself more creatively than I have on this album, where it’s very, very autobiographical. But also moments of extreme catchiness and moments of extreme personal confession….

But is the idea that as your own life becomes less dramatic, you’ll need to pull ideas from other places?

I don’t feel like that yet. I think I might feel like that possibly when I have a family. If I have a family. [Pauses] I don’t know why I said that! But that’s what I’ve heard from other artists, that they were very protective of their personal life, so they had to draw inspiration from other things. But again, I don’t know why I said that. Because I don’t know how my life is going to go or what I’m going to do. But right now, I feel like it’s easier for me to write than it ever was.

...I’m not scared anymore to say that other things in my career, like how to market an album, are strictly strategic. And I’m sick of women not being able to say that they have strategic business minds — because male artists are allowed to. And so I’m sick and tired of having to pretend like I don’t mastermind my own business. But, it’s a different part of my brain than I use to write. [THIS IS AFTER SHE SAID DBATC WAS INSPIRED BY “SOMEONE GREAT” ON ELLEN]

You’ve been masterminding your business since you were a teenager.

Yeah, but I’ve also tried very hard — and this is one thing I regret — to convince people that I wasn’t the one holding the puppet strings of my marketing existence, or the fact that I sit in a conference room several times a week and come up with these ideas. I felt for a very long time that people don’t want to think of a woman in music who isn’t just a happy, talented accident. We’re all forced to kind of be like, “Aw, shucks, this happened again! We’re still doing well! Aw, that’s so great.” Alex Morgan celebrating scoring a goal at the World Cup and getting shit for it is a perfect example of why we’re not allowed to flaunt or celebrate, or reveal that, like, “Oh, yeah, it was me. I came up with this stuff.” I think it’s really unfair. People love new female artists so much because they’re able to explain that woman’s success. There’s an easy trajectory. Look at the Game of Thrones finale. I specifically really related to Daenerys’ storyline because for me it portrayed that it is a lot easier for a woman to attain power than to maintain it….for me, the times when I felt like I was going insane was when I was trying to maintain my career in the same way that I ascended. It’s easier to get power than to keep it. It’s easier to get acclaim than to keep it. It’s easier to get attention than to keep it….maybe this is a reflection on how we treat women in power, how we are totally going to conspire against them and tear at them until they feel this — this insane shift, where you wonder, like, “What changed?” And I’ve had that happen, like, 60 times in my career where I’m like, “OK, you liked me last year, what changed? I guess I’ll change so I can keep entertaining you guys….the question posed to me is, if you kept trying to do good things, but everyone saw those things in a cynical way and assumed them to be done with bad motivation and bad intent, would you still do good things, even though nothing that you did was looked at as good? And the answer is, yes. Criticism that’s constructive is helpful to my character growth. Baseless criticism is stuff I’ve got to toss out now….I’ve never been to therapy. I talk to my mom a lot, because my mom is the one who’s seen everything. God, it takes so long to download somebody on the last 29 years of my life, and my mom has seen it all. She knows exactly where I’m coming from. And we talk endlessly. There were times when I used to have really, really, really bad days where we would just be on the phone for hours and hours and hours. I’d write something that I wanted to say, and instead of posting it, I’d just read it to her.

the lyric in “Daylight,” the idea of “so many lines that I’ve crossed unforgiven” — it’s a different kind of confession.

I am really glad you liked that line, because that’s something that does bother me, looking back at life and realizing that no matter what, you screw things up. Sometimes there are people that were in your life and they’re not anymore — and there’s nothing you can do about it. You can’t fix it, you can’t change it. I told the fans last night that sometimes on my bad days, I feel like my life is a pile of crap accumulated of only the bad headlines or the bad things that have happened, or the mistakes I’ve made or clichés or rumors or things that people think about me or have thought for the last 15 years. And that was part of the “Look What You Made Me Do” music video, where I had a pile of literal old selves fighting each other. But, yeah, that line is indicative of my anxiety about how in life you can’t get everything right. A lot of times you make the wrong call, make the wrong decision. Say the wrong thing. Hurt people, even if you didn’t mean to. You don’t really know how to fix all of that. When it’s, like, 29 years’ worth. No one gets through it unscathed. No one gets through in one piece. I think that’s a hard thing for a lot of people to grasp. I know it was hard for me, because I kind of grew up thinking, “If I’m nice, and if I try to do the right thing, you know, maybe I can just, like, ace this whole thing.” And it turns out I can’t.

It’s interesting to look at “I Did Something Bad” in this context.

You pointing that out is really interesting because it’s something I’ve had to reconcile within myself in the last couple of years — that sort of “good” complex. Because from the time I was a kid I’d try to be kind, be a good person. Try really hard. But you get walked all over sometimes. And how do you respond to being walked all over? You can’t just sit there and eat your salad and let it happen. “I Did Something Bad” was about doing something that was so against what I would usually do. ...a couple of years ago I started working on actually just responding to my emotions in a quicker fashion. And it’s really helped with stuff. It’s helped so much because sometimes you get in arguments. But conflict in the moment is so much better than combat after the fact.”(x)

Third secret session in LA Tuesday August 6th, 2019

Also does a livestream announcement

August 10 LA Party with YNTCD and ME! Costars #drunktaylor -purple nails

[royz-yade]

Cure Vol. 192 Interview Kuina (Royz) (English Translation)

Magazine: Cure Vol. 192 Release Date: September 2019 Type of Interview: Personal Interview Scans: Rine (thank you!!) Translator: VerwelktesGedicht for Royz-yade 

____

– First of all, I want to start with the same question I asked the other members [Koudai and Tomoya] as well. During those 10 years of band activity was there ever a “keypartner” who has any effect on you in a particular situation? Yes, Sugiyama Katsuhiko-san.

– Ah, that person you wanted to meet and talk to [They talked about it in the issue from August 2016]. Yes, he is the famous composer who made songs for Nogizaka46 and Shiritsuebisuchuugaku. To be honest, he invited me to go out for dinner and also invited me to his house afterwards. Then we listened to the Royz songs together that I’ve composed and he gave me advices like “I think it might have sounded even better if you did this or that here.” We talked a lot about compositions. 

– I thought maybe your father is also a keyperson for you? He goes to Royz lives often. Yes, he came the other day as well (laughs) My surroundings often tell me that but my parents are with me since I was born, so it’s normal for me. That’s why I wasn’t really aware of that.

– By the way, what did you father tell you for this tour? I often receive advices from him. For the MC or that I shall be livelier during the encore. But he tells me more often now that it was fun! “It’s good if the members are doing all this having fun.” That’s what he told me.

– Are you having fun? As always (laughs)

– That sounds like you (laughs) You aren’t really updating your Twitter or Blog a lot with impressions of concerts or so on. Indeed.

– Are you publishing that less because you want to draw a line somewhere? I don’t write my live impressions or a blog entry if I don’t have any strong thoughts on it. I hate writing about something I only have lukewarm feelings for. It’s obvious that holding a concert is fun. I write about it if it was more than fun.

– I see. Maybe fans long for more words from you… Yes. Isn’t that obvious in times like these? There is Social Media and after lives people usually write “Thank you!” I hate that. If you write it again and again it loses its value. That’s why if there is something I definitely want to tell I want to tell it right away and bluntly.

– I agree. Also, recently you play a lot of games and publish that a lot. Hahaha (laughs), yes.

– Is it different for you if you publish things as a game player? It is different. But I simply like those games. Just by having the same interest and something in common can change people’s point of view. Usually people easily say about Visual Kei that it’s “kind of… [strange]” but I already got told by people who like those games that they’ve also listened to our songs.

– Wow, that’s really nice! These games became a reason for people to listen to our music and it’s nice to spread it like that. It’s nice to get the chance to try out something new besides games and bands. I think the other members think the same.

– That’s right. I could hear something you usually don’t let anyone hear. It moves me. Ah, no no (laughs)

– Alright, so please let me ask something that has to do with your 10th anniversary plan. This year Royz turns 10 years old. What are your feelings about it? For the first time in history I thought so much about everything. I got the chance to think my own person over. It’s not that I was suffering or anything. I just thought about a lot. Stuff like “Am I okay with how it is now?” And I thought a lot about this Visual Kei scene.

– Speaking of this, we’ve also talked to Koudai about this Visual Kei scene in our last issue. Kuina-san, what do you think about it? Seen from a public point of view, I wonder: Isn’t it like that that people in the Visual Kei scene aren’t getting excited anymore? I wondered a lot about the reason. There is no strong point in Visual Kei. If you’re shooting a bit dark music videos… J-Pop artists do that, too. If you speak of our make-up, K-pop artists do that too all the time. There are also normal artists that write menhera lyrics… And speaking of music, isn’t the spectrum too wide? When I thought about what Visual Kei actually is I couldn’t come up with an answer myself.

– So you wonder what the policy of today’s Visual Kei is… That’s definitely something to think about. I don’t think there is any person who can answer this. There is no „correct“, is there?

– In this situation, personally how do you want it to be? I think we won’t have any awareness of the expression “Visual Kei”. It’s important for everyone to say „We are Visual Kei!“ but even though you have that kind of feeling we shouldn’t be captured in that frame. That’s what I am aware of.

– So it’s better to not be aware of an actual definition, increase the degree of freedom and publish more things? That’s how you can see it.

– I see. I want to ask something else regarding your 10th anniversary. Is there anything you remember in particular that happened during that time? I wanted to try and ask you about it even though you usually don’t remember much about the past (laughs) There isn’t anything (laughs) If you had asked me 1 or 2 years before I would have said “the departure of our member” but I don’t really talk about that time anymore.

– So, let’s put the talking about the past aside. What is it that you are aware of these days? My own life. Recently I think if I die I want to think that my life was satisfying and fulfilled. I wondered what I need to do to achieve that. But I don’t think that I should think about that (laughs)

– You want to finish everything with the thought of “It was a good life”, don’t you? Somehow, my dream of the future is “freedom”. That’s the only thing I definitely don’t want to make any compromises about. But our boss often tells me „Do you want to reach your dream or do you want to reach freedom? Which is it?” When I say that I don’t want to do this or that with my band then they say “Well, first of all then you need to decide if you want to fulfill your own dream you want to fulfill or if you want to put a limit to that and choose freedom?” That’s pretty much a stock phrase, isn’t it??

– You mean like: “You also need a bit of patience to reach a dream”? Yes. But I need to fulfill my dream as well as reach freedom (laughs)

– I wonder how one is able to reach both. That’s also what you think about, isn’t it? Yes. But these days the things that make me angry are more or less gone. I have the attitude to live freely.

– Earlier you were like “I need to do this!”? Yes. I thought if I make my boss so angry that he fires me then it would cause a lot of trouble. Or rather… I think I got over it. Even if I get angry at and will be completely defeated I still think I might want to agree with them. So I started to feel like I’m fine with everything and prepared myself for the worst.

– And the worst is occurring naturally? Yes, before realizing that, it turned out like that.

– Is that so… But even though that is an extreme way of thinking, when it has been decided for you to die then you want to agree on that. Yes.

– So, how satisfied are you with Royz’ current activities? About 50%. I think we have to do way better. But I don’t feel like dragging anyone around.

– From the songs you released on “IGNITE” I liked “Set me free” the most. In your “Royz History” video you said that your words have been used in the lyrics: “I don’t think that it is not right to continue with what I’m doing right now but how close can I get to what is right?“ Yes, but the memory that I’ve really said something like this has vanished (laughs)

– Do you think Royz is on a way that leads closer to what is right? I don’t know about this yet. It’s still hard to judge what is the right and what is the wrong answer.

– So, you will keep a close eye on what is lying ahead, won’t you? I’m really glad you told us that much today! No no, I will probably have forgotten about it tomorrow (laughs)

[heartbeatan]

Technicality (Chapter 1)

Return to Hoseok Fanfictions.

Return to Table of Contents.

Return to One Nights Series.

Return to Masterlist.

Chapter 1

You inhaled deeply as a warm breeze swept across the terrace and tickled your skin. It was a cool August evening, so the warmth was welcoming. The rooftop space was vibrant with the sound of chatting patrons, the clinking of glass from their drinks, and a light, soulful R&B track playing in the background. You had gathered at this chic cocktail lounge with your colleagues to celebrate the wrap up of a few days of interviews and photo shoots for a full-length feature about your start-up business’s success. It will be published in next months issue of one of the nation’s most read magazines. Just in time for the end of summer break and the beginning of a new season. You all looked fabulous, still rocking the hair and makeup treatment from the shoot, but even luckier for you, they let you keep one of the dresses. It was a black boat necked, long sleeved asymmetrical cocktail dress that cut perfectly a few inches above the knee and was subtly patterned with an array of black sequins giving it the occasional eye-catching sparkle. It wasn’t body hugging, but it was tailored perfectly to give you a curvy, hourglass shape. However, the highlight was the open back which creeped dangerously low. Its understated sexiness fitted perfectly into the lounges sophisticated ambiance – it also made you feel like a million bucks.

After sharing some cheer and appetizers, your party began to disband; it had been a long few days after all. But you weren’t quite ready to go home. It was just one of those nights. You decided instead to take a seat inside at the bar and text a friend if she wanted to meet you for a few more and maybe see where the night would take you.

You climbed up on the bar stool and set your clutch down on the counter and composed and sent your message. When the bartender arrived, he presented you with a fresh beverage.

"Someone bought this for you." he said.

"Oh? Thank-you. Who?" You looked around the lounge for the culprit. There weren't many people in there.

"Uhhh... I don't see him anymore..." he furrowed his brow, but ultimately he was indifferent to the mystery. Surely, he’s asked to play cupid to patrons often. You looked down at the glass and took a sniff. Old-fashioned... Your go to drink when you were feeling fancy. You took a sip and exhaled a sigh of satisfaction. Whoever bought this for you had good taste.

"You look amazing," a voice spoke from behind you. You knew exactly who it belonged to without even looking. It was a voice that instantly brought with it a diverse array of emotions, from bitterness to excitement.

Damn.

He slid up next to you and leaned against the bar. You didn’t look up immediately, but you could feel his gaze on you and, not-unexpectedly, the tension and heat between you rising. Hoseok.

Hoseok and you had met at a party of a mutual friends just under a year ago. It was instant chemistry in the way that you didn't spend much time connecting "emotionally" in those first few weeks. But, eventually, what began as a fling turned into movie nights and dinners and you really started to enjoy each other’s company… with your clothes on.

You had begun to develop feelings for him and had expected that all this time spent together would eventually have turned into something official. The bump in the road came after you discovered he had still been seeing other women. Technically, you were never officially dating, nor discussed inclusivity (a point he referenced several times once you confronted him) - but, technically… you didn't give a shit about his technicality… at that point he obviously wasn't interested in pursuing a real relationship with you if he was still looking elsewhere. So, you decided it was best you cut ties and end your "arrangement" before any serious feelings began to develop.

You were still a little bitter, or maybe just embarrassed by your miscalculation, but you hadn’t spent the last few months pining over him… Fantasizing about him, however, was another story. Really, who could blame you? Your escapades together led you down several inconspicuous alleys, parks, and coat rooms. The two of you were insatiable together and the city was a constant reminder of that. He was someone who at times knew your body and libido better than you did - he could turn you on and play you like a fiddle at a moment’s notice. In conclusion, no love was lost, but great sex died that night, and you hadn’t seen him since… until now. You knew this day would come, luckily it was on an evening when you were looking amazing.

"Thanks for the drink." Determined to hide any regrets you may have had, you straightened your posture and turned on your stool to greet him with a smile. Seeing him, however, made your heart skip and instantly reincarnated all the carnal desires you had for him when you were together. Not only was he looking unbelievably fine in a stylish, tailored, casual two-piece suit, but his lower lip was drawn between his teeth and he was giving you a full scan from bottom to top until his eyes locked with yours. The look on his face was one that you had seen many times before - and it usually ended well for both of you.

“My pleasure. I’m just glad your tastes haven’t changed.” His tone made it seem as if he was implying more than just your taste in liquor.

“It’s been months and you’re already trying to turn on the charm, are you?” you cocked your eyebrow to tell him to take it down a notch.

“I can’t help myself when I’m around you.”

“If only you could’ve remembered that when I wasn’t around,” you mocked him with a smile. Something flashed across his eyes. You weren’t sure what emotion it was, but for a moment his flirtatious persona seemed to be replaced. Only for a moment though.

“Do you remember that time when we came here?” he asked. Of course, you remembered; in fact, you spent a good portion of the evening trying your best to not remember. But his words instantly flooded your thoughts and body with the memory of that night. Your skin began to tingle the way it did when he pulled your panties off in the darkened corner of the coat room located just beneath where you stood now. You remembered the feeling of his breath on your face and the sounds of the delicate moans he made each time he thrusted into you. Although it was months ago, his presence made you feel as if it had happened only moments ago.

You instinctively crossed your knees and squeezed your thighs together as the memory and its phantoms washed over you. He watched you as you did and his expression brightened as he got the validation he had been looking for - he wanted to know if you were still turned on by him. Unfortunately, your body had betrayed you and showed him that you still were.

“I remember,” you replied casually.

“If only we were still together n…”

“We were never together. Remember?” you cut him off. “We had an arrangement.”

He was clearly caught off guard by having his own words thrown back at him. That emotion which you caught a glimpse of moments ago was back. Was he hurt? Regretful? Or, just angry? “I may have said that then but you and I both know that wasn’t the truth.”

“Really? What was our truth, then?” you were being slightly patronizing - that bitterness you were trying to hide had begun to show. Regardless, it finally silenced Mr. Charisma. He clenched his jaw and look down at his drink which he swirled around on the bars surface. A long pause ensued. He either didn’t have an answer or wasn’t sure if he should give one. Maybe he was just intimidated by your candor. You turned away from him and took a sip of your drink to calm yourself. “Don’t answer that. It doesn’t matter now anyways.”

He nodded slightly but remained silent. The silence between you two was becoming uncomfortable but as luck would have it, the bartender reappeared and offered to refresh your drinks. Perhaps on top of playing cupid, the bartender also knew when to call a timeout in the middle of lovers quarrels. You could have used that moment to leave, but something kept you cemented to your seat and ordering another Old-Fashioned. When you were alone again, Hoseok finally broke the silence.

“It does matter,” he looked back up and met your gaze. “I’m sorry for how I treated you.”

It wasn’t so much the apology that gave you pause, but the way he said it. It felt genuine, not apart of a game. For a moment you felt vindicated.

[lnd-hq]

ANNIE OAKLEY & FRANK BUTLER

Years Active: 1876--1926

                 ANNIE...

     Both lucky and extremely talented, Annie Oakley used her astonishing marksmanship to escape a poor childhood in Ohio and become the first female superstar in what had been a male-dominated profession.

     Annie was born Phoebe Ann Moses in 1860 in rural Darke County, Ohio. Her father died when she was young, and Annie was sent to the county poor farm. At age 10, she was sent to work for a family who treated her cruelly -- she called them "the wolves." Eventually, Annie ran away from them and was reunited with her mother. Annie helped support her family by shooting game in the nearby woods and selling it to a local shopkeeper. Her marksmanship paid off the mortgage on her mother's house and led her to enter a shooting match on Thanksgiving Day 1875. To Frank Butler's astonishment, Annie beat him in the competition.

                FRANK...

     Born in Ireland, eight-year-old Frank Butler was left in the care of an aunt while his parents searched for a better life in America. At age 13, he made his own way to the U.S. and took a variety of odd jobs to survive. Butler cleaned stables, tried glass blowing, and even managed an on-stage dog show that ended ignominiously when the fire alarm rang at a nearby station and all the dogs raced off. 

     Butler then developed a shooting act, banking on the growing popularity of marksmanship displays in America in the 1870s. He and his partner would perform as one of up to 18 acts in a variety show, rattling off trick shots for about 20 minutes before giving way to a ventriloquist, juggler, or magician. Butler frequently issued a challenge to any local shooting champions, and in November 1875, while he was performing in Cincinnati, someone took him up in it.

              LOVE NEVER DIES...

     The last opponent Butler expected was a five-foot-tall girl named Annie. "I was a beaten man the moment she appeared," Frank later said, "for I was taken off guard." His surprise continued when his young challenger scored 25 hits in 25 attempts--Butler missed his last target and with it lost the match. But he recovered quickly enough to give Annie and her family free tickets to his show, and soon he began courting her. 

     Butler had been married and already fathered two children. He never drank, smoked, or gambled, traits that appealed to Annie's Quaker mother. The couple was married on August 23, 1876, although Butler would later claim June 20, 1882 as the date. Perhaps Butler was not yet divorced when he first met Annie, or maybe the later date was given because Annie had lopped six years off her actual age in the midst of her rivalry with the younger sharpshooter Lillian Smith. Either way, the marriage was a happy one, lasting for some 50 years. Frank, an amateur poet, would write of his wife: "Her presence would remind you, Of an angel in the skies, And you bet I love this little girl, With the rain drops in her eyes."

     Butler initially kept performing with a male stage partner while Annie tagged along. That changed on May 1, 1882, in Springfield, Ohio. Butler's partner had become ill, so he asked his wife to go on with him and hold the targets. Butler kept missing that night, and a spectator shouted, "Let the girl shoot." When Annie successfully did just that, it triggered uproar, and soon the shooting team of Butler and Oakley was born. As Annie's fame grew, Frank spent less time on stage and more on management. He handled finances, dealt with logistics, and served as Oakley's press agent. When Hunkpapa Lakota leader Sitting Bull famously "adopted" Oakley, Butler made sure to place an advertisement drawing attention to the fact. And when an anonymous California man published a letter praising Lillian Smith and slighting Oakley, Butler composed the indignant reply. He occupied much less of the limelight than his celebrated wife, but Butler didn't seem to mind--he understood that her success helped both of them.

     Frank took his turn as family breadwinner after Oakley left Buffal Bill Cody's show in late 1901. That year, Oakley suffered a spinal injury from a train wreck. She underwent five operations and was left partially paralyzed for a time. Oakley made a full recovery, but she toured less often during the last part of her career. However, her shooting expertise never faltered and she continued to set records. In 1922, in a shooting contest in Pinehurst, North Carolina, Oakley hit 100 clay targets straight from 16 yards--she was 62 at the time.

     While Oakley occupied herself with her libel suits against William Randolph Hearst's newspapers, Butler became a representative for the Union Metallic Cartridge Company. After Oakley's final Wild West show in 1913, the couple settled into a comfortable retirement, wintering in North Carolina, taking automobile trips, and hunting. The two raised money for the Red Cross during World War I and participated in other charitable endeavors. "Don't you know it's the part of a brother of Man," Frank wrote in a 1911 poem, "To find what the grief is and help what you can?" When Annie Oakley passed away, Frank Butler only stuck around another 18 days, dying on November 21, 1926. One biographer reported that Butler stopped eating after his wife's passing, leading to his own death from malnutrition and starvation.

ANNIE OAKLEY is OPEN ! FRANK BUTLER is OPEN !

[richsretroreviews]

Spider-Man PS1 Review

Release Date: 15th September 2000 EU, 30th August NA

Developer: Neversoft

Publisher: Activision

This game is 18 years old already holy shit snacks.

Plus, given the release of Spider-Man on PS4 this seems appropriate to review now to see how far Spidey has come.

I remember the first time I played this was in my first year of having my PS1. I was 7 and I got my first demo disc and this game was one of the first games I played on it. I remember too there was Walt Disney World Quest: Magical Racing Tour, but Spider-Man is what I spent the most time on. He was one of the first superheroes I was ever exposed to as a kid next to Superman, Batman, Hulk, Iron Man and the X-Men. And I remember spending so much time watching the 90’s animated Spidey series.

 The demo I played had only the first level and no music. Don’t even think it had Black Cat in it either yet. But the first time I swung on my first web it caught me. And then I stuck to the wall on the side of the next building and it filled me with such excitement. I was Spider-Man! Then beating the first thug and so on. I played that level so much as a kid. But it wasn’t until around May 2017 I first got to play the full game for myself. In fact the first Spider-Man game I had was this game’s sequel; Spider-Man 2 Enter Electro.

But the game!

The plot of this game revolves around a supposed reformed Otto Octavious. He’s hosting a convention when Spider-Man comes and ruins the show by stealing Ock’s tech. Though it’s later revealed to be Mysterio posing as Spidey, and obvious it wasn’t Spidey because Parker was in the audience at the time, Eddie Brock also present at the convention is angered at Spider-Man’s thievery. He turns into Venom and goes off on a vengeful quest to kill Spidey once and for all. But, after a boss battle or two with Venom and saving Mary Jane from his grasp, you end up working along side him to stop any further symbiotes getting out and about.

Meanwhile, the lie of Spidey stealing Ock’s tech was all a ruse so that Ock can enact his next big attack; filling New York with a smog (so your levels set outside are forced to be on the rooftops, which is a clever work around the level designs and the popular fog technique used in PS1 games) and from this, with some help from Carnage, he plans to use symbiotes to gain control of the world.

Along the way you get help from Black Cat, have a brief encounter with Daredevil, Punisher and even Lizard if you navigate the sewer levels correctly, Human Torch and even Captain America at the end!

For bosses you to beat you get Scorpion (who you have to save JJJ from), Rhino, Mysterio, and the two big bads of the game Carnage and of course Doctor Octopus. And, especially made for this game, Monster-Ock! Doc Ock wears Carnage’s symbiote and you have to run like fuck away from him which made for one intense gaming moment.

The gameplay is simple but very fun. You get to shoot webs, punch, kick, jump high, web swing a limited distance and wall crawl. You can also pick up and throw objects and on certain levels get special web upgrades like lacing your webs with fire when fighting against the symbiotes.

You can be creative with your webs too; you can shoot web balls, make web gloves for added punching damage, web yank your foes towards you or to your left and right (which makes for fun times tossing bad guys off of buildings) and a web dome where you encase yourself in web, use it as a shield and explode out for an area attack. You have to be careful though because you do get a limited amount of webbing to use. At most you get 10 cartridges. You can collect more to refill your webs along the way of course but the more you use your webs and your web dome especially the more they’ll get used up. So use them sparingly.

For enemies you get thugs with guns, thugs with scales and thugs made of goop.

The boss fights are interesting. Scorpion is a simple punch and dodge affair. Rhino you get him to ram into guff and punch. Venom you have to catch from him disappearing and you punch. Ok there’s a little bit of a pattern here.

But Mysterio you have to attack on 3 different plains on his giant self. That does make for a clever boss fight I think but there have been criticisms on how it’s laid out with the electrified floor and not enough time to get out of the way of attacks and attack back with web balls, if you can get them to work.

Carnage you have to catch in sonic waves and then you can pummel and Dock Ock you avoid his arms, get him trapped, lower his shield and pummel away. Monster Ock, yeah you just run.

But the one thing they got right is playing as Spider-Man. For his first 3D outing you feel like Spider-Man and it’s so much fun to jump and punch and swing around as him. It’s not the same as modern Spidey games of course where you get open worlds to swing around in, but this was classic action adventure gameplay in closed in levels.

The levels are laid out like comic books which is appropriate. There’s 6 different sections of levels each with their own comic book cover but 34 levels overall. That’s a lot but really, they’re all quite short. Which isn’t a bad thing at all honestly. Given the game’s technical limitations each level makes the most of Spidey’s abilities, introducing new enemies, environments and boss battles.

You get levels set on rooftops, in offices, at the Daily Bugle, and down in the sewers, so you really get about New York.

You could probably get through this game in 2 hours on your first go through but there is plenty to go back and play through.

There’s 3 different difficulties to play through each given you different rewards such as new costumes. And each costume has (or hasn’t with some) got in game abilities so this adds for more replay value to go through the game again in a different costume of Spidey’s. There’s comic book covers to collect and not to mention lots of easter eggs to go on the hunt for.

Oh, and there’s even cheats. Remember when games did cheats to add more fun into the game? You get big head mode, unlock everything if you’re lazy and just want to dive in with everything readily available to play (If that were today you’d have to pay to unlock everything fast), debug mode, invincibility, unlimited webbing, and all game covers.

 This game I always felt closely tied in with 90’s animated series at the time. It used the same voice actor for Ock for one thing, but also just the design of the game and especially the logo used for Spider-Man’s name for the game. And given I was a huge fan of the cartoon at the same time I loved the similarities between the two. I could watch the series and then go play Enter Electro and live out my childhood fantasies of being Spider-Man.

And today this game is still a lot of fun to play. It’s lasted this well 18 years on. The gameplay is as sharp as it has ever been, it sounds good still-- I mean the soundtrack is catchy, dialogue is great and effects! The story is strong for its simplicity. It’s hard to find any faults within this game.

Maybe you could argue with some technical difficulties like how moving about can be a bit stiff at times especially on the wall crawling and there isn’t much in the way of dodging enemies attacks apart from jumping at the time of your spider sense going off. But there’s a reason this game got such high praise 18 years ago and still to this day it’s a solid game.

 Comparing it to how Spider-Man looks on the PS4, Spidey’s come a long, long way. And it’s nice to see the leaps and bounds that have happened between now and then from this game, to see how far the games have developed into becoming a fully realised and immersive Spider-Man game and experience. It’s spectacular, it’s amazing! Sorry, I had to…

 But, yeah. Damn good game. Solid. Go get.

They really should use Monster Ock in the comics...

Where to purchase: Ebay; £11.84 - £25, $12-25 (16/09/18)

Amazon; £23.88, $15- 126 (16/09/18)

[ajw720]

"later in march" oh ok so what they mean is that she's just been dragging it out the over the span of ACS so she can fully hijack all of d's promo. GOT IT. though at this point i doubt it'll ever open with her involved. my guess is she's gonna wait til ACS is over then bail for "personal reasons" or some similar BS. god-willing, it'll be because that criminal tragedy of a stunt-engage has to end somehow & she'll want to devote all her energy to milking that for whatever it's worth.

Anon, October, December, February 28, later in March.  When hell freezes over.  Appears to be gross negligence at this point that she is not able to open its doors.

The license appears to have been filed in August 2017 or at least that is the last status update.  Well after she had purchased this establishment.  And yet it is still pending. How is that even possible?  I think it is supposed to take 90 days. I know sometimes there are delays, the system backs up, one does not provide all of the required info.  But over 7 months?  Especially considering this is the Von Beard Family business. I would think they well know what paperwork is required to file an application for a liquor license as well as the amount of time it takes to have one issued. They do have i believe 2 bars in LA so they have been through the process before.

My theory, she either paid to have it delayed or she is intentionally delaying some critical piece of information. (OR there is something in her background that is concerning the licensing board, I mean this is a person who recorded herself engaging in illegal activity and had her friend post it on the internet so she could show off that ring so she isn’t exactly the swiftest).

I would imagine her intent in purchasing it was to make D perform at her demand. And when things started to wrap up (which clearly was happening last year) and she realized D would not be available long-term,  and a deal was struck which I would guess included him supporting her at least opening the business as part of the pay-out, she decided the best strategy was to drag it out indefinitely to fully capitalize on the promo for ACS.  

To date, we have had a Kardashi/an do a photo shoot there, her live in bf film his video, several private parties with SK and several other “friends” and of course the big “preview” that was completely conceived and organized by D (and I assume C).  And nothing else, which means currently that “business” is losing $$$ every day. If I were an investor, I would chalk it up to a loss and force her to sell. 

If I were to hazard a guess, she and Team Inhuman starting plotting the encage last fall.  Obviously they would not inform D as he would have stopped it, so they kept naming start days and delaying due to lack of license to make it appear that a good faith effort was being made to get the bar opened.  Looking back you can see they laid the foundation in early janaury with several articles speculating on an “engage” even enabler T/raci posting there was so much to celebrate on NYE.

I actually believe D was still in the dark about this. I can actually trace to when I think he realized things were changing when all of the print articles were published and he was repeatedly called a “white, cis, hetero male” with a gf.  But even the night ACS premiered he appeared to be in good spirits despite the fact that he had mentioned her 3 times that day.  I just don’t see the change in his demeanor being that dramatic post-engage, which was immediate, if he had time to prepare for the announcement.  Plus why drag out the announcement if he was on-board and not capitalize on the globes and ACS premiere, why not a better photo with a ring, why announce it on a night he was either on stage or inbtwn gigs which makes zero sense, and why no better text on the IG post??  There are so many red flags it is unreal.  I think they knew he would fight it and informed him maybe the day or so prior.

Point of all of this being that I think the bar delay is beyond intentional. It was used as a tactic to maximize ACS promo, to ensure she was included as she knew D had every intent of moving on with his life and leaving her in the dust, and so that they could deliver the final blow, forcing him to participate in a fake engage, which they knew was a hard no for him, would cause severe emotional distress, and that would add to the pile of lies and make it that much harder for him to come out not to mention delay him coming out as I believe happened.

I actually tend to agree with you. I am really starting to think it will never open its doors. After all, if D is not available to perform, which is the only reason she wanted the bar, there is not point. My guess, she will be so emotionally distressed when either a break up occurs or d comes out that she will simply not be able to function and run a business.  Which is comical as the fact is she simply is not able to run a business period regardless of circumstance as that requires effort, worth ethic, and not following D around the world so one can actually invest time.

I personally don’t care if it opens or not. I don’t care if she tries to get every mi/arren to cry injustice when she is no longer the paid plus one. 

I just want it to be resolved so we can end this already and D&C can move on with their lives. They have earned it.

[christopherwatsonbooks]

Gatekeepers

People ask me why I self-published Covenant Spring. The short (and true) answer: I couldn’t secure an agent to rep it, nor could I place it with a publisher. But there’s a deeper reason that I feel speaks to why we all do this in the first place. Kindly settle in.

Years ago, I was represented by a very well-known NYC agent who had no luck placing my very first novel, a hard sci-fi adventure. So it goes. But he invited me to pitch him anything new. I sent him Covenant Spring, which is very much *not* sci-fi.

The agent read Covenant Spring and passed. Again, so it goes. I asked if he would give me a reference to another agent where it might be a better fit. He replied that there were plenty of potential agents in the AAR directory. Ouch.

Whether he intended it or not, I took the agent’s reply as tantamount to a newly single friend asking you to introduce them to someone nice, and you telling them that there are plenty of nice people in the phone book. In other words, buzz off. Again: ouch.

It’s a business but it pissed me off. Still does. Yet I soldiered on. Several years and dozens of fruitless queries later, I shelved Covenant Spring, convinced (nearly) that there was no audience for it. There certainly was no interest in it.

I wrote other things, one of them a paranormal murder mystery about a redneck psychic, titled The Handyman. I was living in Charleston, SC. A local publisher grabbed it and ran. It got good press and better notices. A sequel was requested.

I got halfway through the first draft of the sequel when the publisher folded. Ouch. Ever try to place a previously-published book with an agent or new publisher? Like looking for a date in the phone book, only less rewarding.

I was profoundly discouraged. How do you determine when the universe is telling you to give up, or challenging you to try harder? Where’s the line that divides faith in oneself from delusion? Am I just too blind to admit that my writing sucks?

I was pulling weeds in my back yard. Charleston, in August. Eye-stinging sweat, swarming gnats. Feeling sorry for myself. Gnawing on the (I felt) injustice of it. Cursing, muttering. Years of writing, and for f**king what? More disappointment? Why did I bother?

Why indeed. I truly considered the question for the first time in ages. I didn’t write to pay the bills -- I had a good job. More money’s always nice, but I wasn’t in this for the cash. So why was I so angry? What did I *truly* want?

I wanted people to read my stuff. That’s it. And I was angry because the designated gatekeepers -- agents, publishers -- were standing in the way of that. They were determining whether my stuff was worth reading in the first place. Because *I* was giving them that power.

@andrewvachss declares, “The lie is that writing is a meritocracy. The lie is that the cream rises to the top. The truth is that it's a crap shoot.” Because, he says, “there is no objective standard for judging writing. At all.”

He’s right. That’s how art is. It moves you, or it doesn’t. But the gatekeepers judge not whether your art is ‘good,’ but whether it’s likely to move others enough to pay for it. Fair as far as it goes -- again, it's a business -- but it's a wholly subjective judgment based on a litany of inconstant considerations, from what the arbiter du jour determines the market wants (today), to personal taste, to whether they had a satisfying morning bowel movement.

As the cliché goes, the system stinks but it’s the only one we’ve got. Only it’s not.

Maybe my writing sucks. Maybe it’s mediocre. Maybe, it’s good. Regardless, I realized I’d rather put my book directly into a reader’s hands and let *them* decide, have *them* tell me, than put another jot of energy into another f**king query letter.

I straightened my back, wiped away sweat. The yard looked great. I felt better. And a year and a bit later, here we are. You and I.

The book is Covenant Spring. I love it with all of my heart. Maybe it's destined to languish on the dusty shelf of obscurity, read by few. It'll have lots of company. Maybe it'll move one or two of those who give it a chance, in whose hearts it may inspire poetry.

Maybe no one will read this. It's an odd sensation, writing these words, knowing all they may be or are likely to be are stones tossed in a well. That the first and last time they're read is now. This moment. These words, this full stop.

That may have to be enough. Like strawberries in snow. It'll break my heart, but so it goes. Perhaps my love for my love will fade with time, but more likely I will become accustomed to turning away from it for longer times. And then I will see it again, and wonder again how I could have ever forgotten, and my heart will ache once more. Like the good Mr. @neil-gaiman's narrator, my own melancholy ocean, at the end of my own narrowing, twilight lane.

You can find Covenant Spring on Amazon. Whatever you might think of it, I’d love you to tell me. Thanks for listening.

Maybe I should pull weeds more often.

[crowngfriend964]

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Who are the men behind Black Players for Change in American soccer?

New Post has been published on https://tattlepress.com/soccer/who-are-the-men-behind-black-players-for-change-in-american-soccer/

Who are the men behind Black Players for Change in American soccer?

Before he became an executive director for a Black player coalition in Major League Soccer, Justin Morrow received death threats during high school in Cleveland when media coverage of his soccer talents became too much for some.

Before Jeremy Ebobisse became a board member for that same coalition, the Portland Timbers forward was a youngster from Bethesda, Maryland, enduring N-word taunts from opponents in his club soccer games.

Calling out systemic racism in society and vying for more opportunities for Black people in MLS is nothing new for Morrow and Ebobisse – but they used to do so on their own.

Now, as board members of Black Players for Change, an independent, player-led coalition that has more than 170 members, they are helping create tangible change for the Black community in MLS. The group, which was founded on Juneteenth one year ago, is not only impacting Black players, coaches and staff as professionals, it is also empowering members as Black men in America as they combat racial injustice.

The Black Players for Change assembled on the field July 8, 2020 at the ESPN Wide World of Sports Complex ahead of the first match at the MLS Is Back Tournament.

Submitted: Major League Soccer

In its first 12 months, the coalition has become a force. Members protested on the field at the MLS Is Back Tournament last July, raising their fists for 8 minutes and 46 seconds to remind the nation of how long Minneapolis police officer Derek Chauvin knelt on George Floyd’s neck, murdering him.  The group also helped transform MLS stadiums into voting polls in November. It has vowed to build 12 soccer mini-pitches for Black communities, and it established the league’s first diversity committee, which gave it a seat at the table with MLS owners and Commissioner Don Garber.

But to solely harvest one year of change as a feel-good highlight reel overlooks the emotional roller coaster the men representing the coalition are riding, as they seek to expand opportunities for Black individuals in American soccer while forging bonds as brothers.

“There’s already so much that goes into a player’s career, in terms of being successful on the field,” Morrow told The Tennessean. “But for me, this has been about leading a group of men in pursuit of a goal. We win sometimes, we fail sometimes, but we always do it together.”

Black Players for Change has grown from an Instagram group chat, started by Morrow to create a safe space for Black players expressing their frustrations after Floyd’s murder, into a fully working organization that communicates and conducts business through WhatsApp and Slack.

The byproduct has been the creation of a tight-knit organization that allows Black players such as Morrow — the Toronto FC fullback in his 12th year in MLS — to connect with some of the league’s youngest. The dynamic has created an atmosphere that encourages players to speak up and find their voices.

Justin Morrow, 33, is the executive director for Black Players for Change and is a fullback for Toronto FC in Major League Soccer.

Submitted: Black Players for Change

“If we can be the ones to empower (players) to do that,” Morrow said, “that’s exactly the reason why this organization exists.”

More than just a co-founder, Morrow, 33, is the group’s elected leader. He has perfected walking the line between a serious focus for work and keeping things light with jokes.

Those skills, along with his passion for a cause bigger than himself, comes from his father, Leroy.

Starting as a 23-year-old patrol officer for the Cleveland Division of Police, when Morrow was 2, Leroy climbed the ranks to become a lieutenant by the time Morrow was 13 and eventually became a commander.

“He was just so dedicated and rose up the ranks,” Morrow said. “&mldr; I saw that he was always trying to work harder for our family, and pull us up, so that’s always in my mind like, ‘Don’t mess around.’ ”

Morrow heeded that advice as he blossomed into a star at Saint Ignatius High School, a prominent Catholic school in Cleveland. As a junior, Morrow had helped the Wildcats win their first state championship. His prominence grew as the Cleveland Plain Dealer published stories about both his talent and his team. 

That prominence came full circle that fall, when Morrow was called to the principal’s office with one of his close friends on the soccer team. The school had received a letter with death threats addressed toward them. Police were present and the FBI was involved. 

The letter contained racist language, and according to The Athletic, it made reference to a photo that had appeared in the Plain Dealer of Morrow, his teammate and their white homecoming dates. 

FBI officials eventually identified the person who made the threat.  The person had also sent similar racist messages to professional athletes.

The incident was an eye-opener, Morrow admits, but not a detriment.

Justin Morrow, executive director for Black Players for Change

I just wanted to create something that lasts longer than I do.

“Those things happen to you and maybe you don’t consciously let it affect you, but subconsciously you know it’s always there,” he said. “It’s always there. It shapes the way you see things, so it’s just been as a steppingstone to get to where I am today.”

Morrow matriculated through majority-white Catholic schools at every level of his education. He played four seasons at Notre Dame from 2006-10 and was the treasurer of the campus NAACP chapter, which he helped start. It was his way of making change in a predominantly white environment.

“I just wanted to create something that lasts longer than I do,” Morrow said. “My time studying at Notre Dame was fantastic, but it’s always short for everyone. The same will be with Major League Soccer in my professional career.”

Ebobisse, 24, also grasped racism from an early age. Growing up in affluent Bethesda, Maryland, the Timbers forward was one of two Black kids in his grade during elementary school and was naturally exposed to politics near the nation’s capital. He played for Bethesda SC as a youth, which included Alex Van Hollen, the son of U.S. Sen. Chris Van Hollen (D-Md.).

“I was in and around his campaign events and got to understand from a distance what it took to run successful campaigns and to legislate,” Ebobisse told The Tennessean.

But as Ebobisse grew older, his Bethesda SC squad became more diverse with players from Potomac, Bowie and Baltimore. But he still endured gaslighting. Some of his peers in Bethesda and at Walter Johnson High School – where he graduated in three years – insisted racism didn’t exist, as they spewed the N-word in Ebobisse’s presence. 

It wasn’t until his sophomore year that Michael Williams – who played soccer at Howard University, an HBCU in Washington – became Ebobisse’s AP World History teacher. Williams, who also coached Walter Johnson’s soccer team, gave Ebobisse a new way of attacking racism and oppression.

Jeremy Ebobisse, 24, is a board member with Black Players for Change and a forward for the Portland Timbers in Major League Soccer.

Submitted: Black Players for Change

“The way he taught me to look at the world from where I was, breaking down the Eurocentrism in everything that I received up until that point, definitely set me on a course to challenge narratives as I see them and to understand biases everywhere,” Ebobisse said.  “And if I can understand the bias, then I can understand information a little bit better.”

Ebobisse is still on that course. Now as a five-year veteran with the Timbers, he collaborated with the Players Coalition, which consists of NFL players, in the spring to help pass the Juvenile Restoration Act.Maryland Senate Bill 494 would abolish life without parole for youths and institute a judicial review for sentence reduction after 20 years of confinement. In September, Morrow did the same in tandem with Players Coalition members in Ohio, helping pass Ohio Senate Bill 256.

Jeremy Ebobisse, on learning and understanding biases

The way (Michael Williams) taught me to look at the world from where I was, breaking down the Eurocentrism in everything that I received up until that point, definitely set me on a course to challenge narratives as I see them and to understand biases everywhere.

Such a platform is new to Ebobisse, who is revered by his teammates and respected by Portland’s activism community, including Rose City Justice, which led several intense protests in the city last June. In a way, Ebobisse is empowered and it’s credit to Black Players for Change.

“In 2017, 2018, 2019, I would have never had the chance to use, for example, my club in order to further my message directly or to create content or to change internal policy,” Ebobisse said. “It was pretty nonexistent, whether it was because I was a draft pick that hadn’t broken into the team yet, or because the social climate wasn’t there for it. I think it was a little bit of both. 

“Now that’s not the case. … We’re asking the tough questions, not only in Portland, but nationwide and at the league office. I think it’s really important and that’s a testament to BPC.”

Black Players for Change sparked unprecedented progress in its relationship with MLS last summer.

BPC’s board of directors secured a meeting with Garber after 10 MLS clubs chose not to play after the August shooting of Jacob Blake, a Black man, by Kenosha police in Wisconsin. In that Sept. 24 meeting with Garber, MLS owners and BPC, the league committed to a $1 million contribution to BPC through 2024, coupled with a package of six initiatives.

The meeting accelerated MLS’ hiring of Sola Winley as vice president and chief diversity, equity and inclusion officer. Winley, who is Black, had championed diversity and inclusion as executive vice president of corporate strategy at A+E Networks.

CJ Sapong talks playing for Nashville SC and Black Players for Change

CJ Sapong talks playing for Nashville SC and Black Players for Change

Jeremiah O. Rhodes, Nashville Tennessean

The meeting also helped establish the MLS Diversity Committee. Winley sits on the committee with  Morrow, Sean Johnson of New York City FC,  and Earl Edwards Jr. of the New England Revolution. Garber, a crew of MLS owners, a resource group of Black MLS employees and the Soccer Collective on Racial Equity (S.C.O.R.E) also make up the committee.

“We’re players in a room with MLS employees, front office employees and owners of our teams,” Edwards said. “In those spaces – granted, we’re players – we want to be viewed more as men, as Black men that are trying to make a change.

Earl Edwards Jr., 29, is a board member with Black Players for Change and goalkeeper for the New England Revolution.

Submitted: Black Players for Change

“I think that dynamic of us being players – feeling like players – and them being owners looking at players a certain way, being in the front office looking at players a certain way – (it’s) that border of interactions we don’t normally have. Now (they’re) taking feedback from players, specifically Black players,. I think it’s just new for them and for us to be outspoken, demanding certain things or telling them what we want is new for us, too.”

For Johnson, sitting on the committee has made an impact on him. The committee’s April 20 meeting happened as the Chauvin guilty verdict was being revealed. Chauvin killing Floyd sparked a national reckoning for social injustice and police brutality.

“I remember specifically – I shut off my (Zoom) video. I went into the living room,” Johnson said. “I took about 15, maybe 20 (minutes) which felt like forever because it was it was a very emotional moment for me, sitting there with my girlfriend and hearing the verdict.”

Johnson called BPC’s impact on him an emotional ride. For Morrow, leading the group has created a series of life lessons. And for Ebobisse, the power of the platform makes him proud.

But after a long pause, all three elected to focus on what impact Black Players for Change will have on the Black community beyond the coalition’s first year in existence.

“Youth soccer into college soccer into professional soccer has not been the most welcoming of environments for Black people in this country – Black men and women,” Ebobisse said. “So alongside BPC and other organizations, we have a big role to play in changing that and I think we’ve already put a lot of people on alert and gained a lot of collaboration as well.”

Jalil Anibaba talks playing for Nashville SC and Black Players for Change

Jalil Anibaba talks playing for Nashville SC and Black Players for Change

Jeremiah O. Rhodes, Nashville Tennessean

BPC’s work impacts stretches outside the American soccer bubble. Morrow and Ebobisse represent BPC in working with the NBA Players’ Association on advocating the passage of the George Floyd Justice In Policing Act, which prohibits racial profiling, reforms qualified immunity, bans chokeholds and federal no-knock warrants, such as the one used in the fatal police shooting of Breonna Taylor, a Black woman, in Louisville, Kentucky.

Juneteenth is a celebration for Black liberation and the end of slavery in the U.S. To Black Players for Change, the holiday also marks the birth of a brotherhood, whose work in American soccer continues.

“If we don’t do it, nobody else is going to and that’s exactly how we feel,” Morrow said. “That’s what’s so special about this organization.

“I’m not a guy that looks back very often,” he continued. “I just turn the page and get on to the next thing. And maybe there’s a minute for us to pause and appreciate what we’ve created and at the same time, continue to teach about Juneteenth, which is only growing. So, we have a big job to connect the older generation to the current generation and understanding of how we’ve gotten here today.”

Justin Morrow, Toronto FC

Jeremy Ebobisse, Portland Timbers

Quincy Amarikwa, MLS free agent

Jalil Anibaba, Nashville SC

Earl Edwards Jr., New England Revolution

Ray Gaddis, retired MLS player

Bill Hamid, D.C United

Sean Johnson, New York City FC

Ike Opara, Minnesota United FC

CJ Sapong, Nashville SC

For stories about Nashville SC or Soccer in Tennessee, contact Drake Hills at DHills@gannett.com. Follow Drake on Twitter at @LiveLifeDrake. Connect with Drake on Instagram at @drakehillssocer.

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