#shotgun setup

[theroguebanshee]

Tactaload Flash-5 Stock: The Revolutionary Shotgun Upgrade You Can’t Ignore

Tactaload Flash-5 Stock at SHOT Show 2025: Revolutionary Shotgun Upgrades SHOT Show 2025 was packed with exciting innovations, and Tactaload once again delivered with the Flash-5 Stock and their all-new shotgun forend. The Tactaload Flash-5 Stock remains one of the most innovative shotgun upgrades available, offering fast reloads and integrated ammo storage. This year, they’ve expanded their…

[enemiestolovershoe]

Silent Tension

Matt Sturniolo x enemie!reader

Summary: Matt and Y/N were best friends until one argument turned them into enemies. Will they ever find a way back to each other?

Warnings: arguments, fighting, making out, lmk if you find anything else.

Words: 5.2k

The kindergarten days felt like a lifetime ago now. Back then, the four of you were inseparable. Matt, Nick, Chris, and you were a perfectly chaotic little crew, spending recess planning adventures and sticking together against anyone who dared mess with one of you. Matt had been your closest match back then—quick-witted, stubborn, and full of ideas. You thought that bond would never break.

But high school changed everything.

It started small, with arguments over who got shotgun during group rides. Then came the endless bickering about group projects and plans. By sophomore year, the fights had escalated into something sharper, something mean.

“You can’t just do everything yourself,” Matt said one night, frustration thick in his voice.

“It’s not my fault you can’t handle it!” you snapped back, shoving a notebook into your bag after another group study session gone wrong.

Nick, sprawled on the couch with a soda in hand, raised an eyebrow. “Uh-oh. Here we go again.”

“You’re such a control freak,” Matt muttered, crossing his arms.

“And you’re lazy,” you shot back without missing a beat.

Chris, ever the calm one, stepped in. “Alright, that’s enough. Can we focus? This isn’t helping anyone.”

But Matt wasn’t done. “You think you’re better than everyone else because you plan everything to death. Newsflash: it’s annoying.”

“At least I don’t sit around waiting for other people to pick up the slack!”

“Guys, please!” Chris sighed, rubbing his temples. “You’re giving me a headache.”

Nick grinned, throwing a pillow at Matt. “Yeah, cool it, bro. You’re scaring Chris.”

By junior year, the tension had spread beyond school. Group hangouts became a minefield.

One night at the mall, Matt and you ended up in yet another screaming match over something stupid.

“All I’m saying is, we didn’t need to spend an hour waiting for you to pick out a stupid hoodie,” Matt said, throwing up his hands as the group headed back to Nick’s car.

“It wasn’t just about the hoodie, Matt,” you snapped, glaring at him. “Maybe if you weren’t so impatient, we’d actually enjoy going out as a group.”

“Impatient? You’re the one who wasted everyone’s time.”

Nick piped up from the backseat, turning to grin at Chris. “Think we should start selling tickets? This is better than reality TV.”

Chris shot Nick a look. “Not helping.”

“Whatever,” Matt muttered. “Next time, just leave me out of it.”

“Gladly,” you said, slamming the car door behind you.

The ride home was silent, the air thick with unresolved anger.

Then there was the infamous beach trip during senior year. What should’ve been a relaxing day turned into yet another battlefield.

“Can you at least try to help with the setup?” you asked, struggling to hammer an umbrella into the sand while Matt sat under the shade of a nearby tree, scrolling on his phone.

“I’m supervising,” he said with a smirk, not even glancing up.

“You’re useless,” you muttered under your breath, loud enough for him to hear.

“Excuse me?” Matt stood up, his tone sharp.

“You heard me.”

Nick and Chris exchanged a look, already bracing for the explosion.

“Maybe if you weren’t so bossy, people would actually want to help you,” Matt shot back.

“Maybe if you weren’t so lazy, people wouldn’t have to pick up your slack,” you retorted, standing toe-to-toe with him now.

Nick broke the tension with an exaggerated sigh. “Okay, Mom and Dad, can we chill? Some of us are here to, like, enjoy the beach.”

Chris stepped between you two, his voice calm but firm. “Seriously, stop. This is getting old.”

You stormed off, muttering under your breath about how impossible Matt was. He didn’t try to follow.

By the time you were 21, things were worse than ever. Group events had become rare, mostly because no one wanted to deal with the inevitable clash between you and Matt.

At one game night, the tension boiled over again.

“Can you not cheat for once in your life?” Matt snapped as you reached for a card in a particularly heated game of Uno.

“I’m not cheating, you idiot. Maybe if you paid attention, you’d actually win for once.”

Chris sighed from his spot beside you, his patience clearly wearing thin. “It’s a card game. Can we not turn this into World War 3?”

Matt ignored him, leaning forward with a scowl. “You always do this. You can’t handle losing, so you find some way to bend the rules.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, Mr. Perfect. I forgot you’re the expert on everything.”

Nick laughed, shaking his head. “Man, y’all really need couples therapy.”

“Nick, shut up,” you and Matt said in unison, which only made him laugh harder.

Chris stood up, clearly done. “Okay, game night’s over. You two can keep fighting, but I’m not babysitting anymore.”

As Chris walked out of the room, Nick looked between you and Matt with a smirk. “So, who’s gonna admit they’re in love first?”

You threw a pillow at him. “Nick, I swear—”

Matt scoffed, crossing his arms. “As if.”

“Exactly,” you snapped, glaring at him. “You’d be the last person I’d ever—”

“Good! Glad we’re on the same page,” Matt interrupted, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

Nick laughed again. “Man, you two are exhausting. But, like, in a fun way.”

Chris peeked back in from the hallway, his calm voice cutting through the chaos. “You’re not fun. You’re a headache. Both of you.”

As the tension settled for the night, you couldn’t help but wonder how it had come to this. Somewhere along the way, the friendship you once had with Matt had turned into a battlefield, and neither of you seemed willing to wave the white flag.

It was a sweltering summer afternoon, the kind that made everyone irritable. You’d come over to hang out with Chris and Nick, hoping to escape the heat and distract yourself from a long week. Matt, as usual, was there too.

From the moment you walked in, you could feel the tension. It was always there with Matt—humming under the surface, waiting for one of you to ignite it.

“Alright, who’s down for a Mario Kart tournament? Loser buys slushies,” Nick said, grabbing controllers from the cabinet.

Chris nodded. “I’m in. But Nick, you’re buying either way.

Nick grinned. “Bold of you to assume.”

You grabbed a controller, feeling a flicker of competitiveness. “Hope you’re ready to lose, Nick.”

Matt, leaning against the counter, crossed his arms. “You should worry about yourself. You’ve never beaten me.”

You rolled your eyes. “There’s a first time for everything.”

The game started off fine—until you accidentally bumped Matt’s character off the track.

“Oh, come on!” Matt exclaimed, leaning forward. “You did that on purpose.”

“It’s called strategy,” you shot back, grinning.

Matt’s scowl deepened as the race continued. When the final lap ended, your character crossed the finish line ahead of his. You threw your hands up triumphantly. “Yes! Finally!”

Matt tossed his controller onto the couch, glaring at you. “You only won because you cheated.”

You blinked, the excitement draining from your face. “How did I cheat?”

“You bumped me off the track,” Matt said, his tone accusatory.

“That’s part of the game, Matt,” you said, trying to keep your voice steady.

“No, it’s not,” he snapped. “You’re always like this—always cutting corners to get ahead.”

“Cutting corners?” you repeated, standing up. “It’s a stupid game. Maybe if you weren’t such a sore loser, you’d actuallyhave fun.”

“Oh, I’m the sore loser?” Matt said, getting to his feet as well.

Nick, sensing the brewing storm, raised his hands. “Alright, time out. It’s just Mario Kart, guys.”

Chris sighed, already rubbing his temples. “Can we not?”

But the two of you were locked in now.

“You always do this,” Matt said, his voice rising. “You act like you’re better than everyone else, but you’re just as petty as the rest of us.”

Your jaw dropped. “Are you kidding me? You’re the one making a big deal out of this!”

“Oh, because you’re so perfect, right?” Matt shot back, sarcasm dripping from his voice. “You can’t handle being called out, so you turn it around on me.”

“Maybe I wouldn’t have to if you weren’t so impossible to deal with!”

Chris stood up, his calm demeanor cracking slightly. “Seriously, enough. This isn’t worth fighting over.”

“Stay out of it, Chris,” Matt said, not taking his eyes off you.

Chris frowned but didn’t argue.

“You know what your problem is?” Matt continued, stepping closer. “You’re so controlling. Everything has to be your way, and if it’s not, you freak out.”

“I’m not controlling,” you snapped. “I’m just tired of cleaning up after you all the time!”

Matt scoffed. “Cleaning up after me? You don’t even know what you’re talking about.”

Nick tried to step in again, his voice light but firm. “Guys, seriously, take a breath. Go outside or something.”

But it was too late. The fight was spiraling.

“Don’t I?” you said, crossing your arms. “You’re lazy, Matt. You never help with anything unless someone forces you to, and then you complain the whole time.”

“Oh, I’m lazy?” Matt shot back, his voice sharp. “At least I don’t bulldoze over everyone like you do. You think you’re so much better because you plan everything to death, but really, you’re just scared of messing up.”

Your chest tightened, his words cutting deeper than you expected. “Wow. Thanks for the insight, Dr. Matt. Maybe if you spent less time tearing me down, you’d actually accomplish something for once.”

Matt’s face darkened. “Tearing you down? You’re the one who’s always on my case. Every little thing I do, you have something to say about it.”

“Because you make it so easy!”

“You know what? I’m done,” Matt said, throwing his hands up. “You’re exhausting. No wonder people can’t stand being around you.”

“Excuse me?” you said, your voice trembling with anger. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

Matt didn’t back down. “It means maybe your ex had a point.”

The room went silent.

Chris and Nick both froze, their eyes snapping to Matt in disbelief.

“What did you just say?” you asked, your voice low and unsteady.

Chris stepped forward, his voice firm. “Matt, don’t.”

But Matt ignored him. “Maybe your ex wouldn’t have cheated on you if you weren’t so suffocating.”

Your stomach dropped. Tears pricked your eyes as his words sunk in. “You’re unbelievable.”

Chris immediately stepped in, standing between you and Matt. “That’s enough. You’ve crossed the line.”

Nick’s voice was louder now. “Matt, what the hell is wrong with you?”

But Matt wasn’t done. “I’m just saying what everyone else is too scared to say.”

Your hands shook as you struggled to hold back tears. “You’re such a coward,” you said, your voice breaking. “You can’t handle your own issues, so you take them out on me. Well, congrats, Matt. You finally broke me. Are you happy now?”

Tears streamed down your face as you turned away, unable to look at him anymore.

Chris stepped forward, his calm voice laced with anger. “Go to your room. Now.”

Matt hesitated, glaring at you one last time before storming off, slamming his door behind him.

As soon as he was gone, Chris turned to you, his expression softening. “Hey, come here.”

You let out a shaky breath as he pulled you into a hug.

“Why does he hate me so much?” you whispered, your voice cracking. “What did I do to make him like this?”

“He doesn’t hate you,” Chris said softly, rubbing your back. “He’s just… an idiot.”

Nick grabbed a glass of water and handed it to you. “Yeah, a massive idiot. Like, the biggest idiot I’ve ever met.”

You tried to laugh, but it came out as a sob. “I can’t keep doing this, Chris. Every time I come here, it’s like he’s waiting to tear me apart.”

Chris pulled back, cupping your face gently so you’d meet his eyes. “Listen to me. You didn’t do anything wrong. He’s just angry—at himself, at whatever—but it’s not about you.”

“Then why does it feel like it is?” you whispered, tears still streaming down your face.

Chris sighed, pulling you back into a hug. “I don’t know. But I’m going to fix it, okay? I promise.”

Nick sat beside you, patting your shoulder. “Yeah, and if he doesn’t apologize, I’ll pants him in public.”

You let out a weak laugh, wiping your eyes. “Thanks, Nick. That’s… oddly comforting.”

Chris stayed by your side, his calm presence steadying you as you tried to piece yourself back together. But no matter how much he reassured you, Matt’s words lingered, cutting deeper than you wanted to admit.

About an hour had passed since the fight, and the tension in the house still hung heavy in the air. You were curled up on the couch with Chris, his arm draped protectively over your shoulder. Nick sat on the floor in front of you, scrolling through his phone and cracking occasional jokes to try and lighten the mood.

You’d stopped crying, but your chest still felt tight, your breathing shallow. Every time you thought about what Matt had said, it was like the wound reopened.

Chris’s hand absentmindedly rubbed your arm. “You good?” he asked quietly.

You nodded, though you didn’t feel entirely okay. “Better. Thanks for… you know, being here.”

“Always,” he said softly.

Nick glanced over his shoulder with a faint grin. “If you need me to distract you, I can pull up Matt’s senior photo. That thing’s a crime against humanity.”

You let out a weak laugh. “Thanks, Nick. I think I’ll pass.”

Just then, footsteps sounded from the stairs. Matt was coming down, his movements hesitant but deliberate.

Your stomach immediately twisted into knots, and you stiffened against Chris.

He noticed immediately. “Relax,” Chris whispered. “You’re safe.”

Nick, sensing the shift, turned to Matt with a warning look. “If you’re coming down to start something again, you can turn right back around and go upstairs.”

Matt shook his head, shoving his hands into his pockets. “I’m not here to fight.”

You looked at him warily, unsure of what to expect.

“Actually,” Matt continued, his voice quieter than usual, “I wanted to talk to Y/N. Alone.”

You stiffened even more, your breath catching in your throat. “What for? So you can tear me apart again? Bring up my past and rub salt in the wound?” Your voice cracked, still raw from earlier.

Matt winced, his jaw tightening. “No. I’m not here to do that. I… I want to apologize. But I’d rather do it one-on-one.”

Chris’s grip on your shoulder tightened protectively. “I don’t think that’s a good idea right now,” he said, his calm tone carrying a slight edge.

“Yeah,” Nick chimed in, crossing his arms. “She’s been through enough today. Whatever you need to say, you can say it in front of us.”

Matt shook his head. “Look, I get it. I’ve been a total dick, okay? But I need to fix this, and I can’t do that with you two hovering.” He turned to you, his gaze earnest. “Please, Y/N. Just give me five minutes. I promise, no fighting. No bringing up the past.”

You stared at him, your heart pounding. You didn’t trust him—not after everything—but there was something different in his tone. He didn’t sound like the sharp, defensive Matt you’d been clashing with for years. He sounded… vulnerable.

Chris’s voice broke through your thoughts. “You don’t have to do this if you’re not ready.”

Nick nodded. “Seriously. You’ve got nothing to prove to him.”

You hesitated, your gaze flicking between Matt and his brothers. Part of you wanted to shut him down, to tell him to leave you alone. But another part—the part that was tired of the constant fighting—wanted to hear him out.

You let out a shaky breath. “What do you want to talk about?”

Matt glanced at the door, then back at you. “We still need to grab those slushies. We can talk on the way there. Neutral ground.”

Chris frowned. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“I’m not going to do anything,” Matt said, his voice firm but not aggressive. “I just… need to talk. Please.”

You looked at Chris and Nick, then back at Matt. Against your better judgment, you slowly nodded. “Fine. But if you say anything—anything—like what you said earlier, I’m leaving. Got it?”

Matt nodded immediately. “Got it. No low blows. I swear.”

Chris sighed, his hand lingering on your shoulder as you stood up. “You sure about this?”

“No,” you admitted, your voice still shaky. “But I’ll be fine.”

Nick raised an eyebrow. “Text me if you need a rescue mission.”

You gave him a faint smile. “I will.”

Matt grabbed his keys and held the door open for you, waiting as you slipped on your shoes. Your anxiety bubbled in your chest as you stepped outside, the warm summer air doing little to ease the tension in your body.

You glanced back at Chris and Nick, who were watching you like hawks from the couch. Chris gave you a small nod, his silent way of telling you that he had your back no matter what.

“Let’s go,” Matt said quietly, leading the way to his car.

As you got in, you couldn’t help but wonder what he was going to say—and if you’d regret giving him the chance.

You slid into the passenger seat, the car’s interior thick with unspoken tension. Matt climbed into the driver’s seat, closing the door with a quiet click. He rested his hands on the steering wheel but didn’t start the engine. Instead, he leaned back, staring straight ahead, his jaw tightening and loosening as if trying to find the right words.

Finally, he broke the silence.

“I am so fucking sorry, Y/N,” Matt said, his voice low but steady. “I don’t even know where to start. I—I don’t know what got into me earlier, but I regret it. Deeply. More than I can even put into words.”

You turned to look at him, studying his face. There was no trace of his usual anger or smugness. He looked… tired. Defeated.

He let out a long breath, running a hand through his hair. “I was out of line. Way out of line. What I said about your past, about your ex—it was cruel, and it wasn’t fair. You didn’t deserve that. Not then, not ever.”

You stayed quiet, unsure of what to say, but he continued.

“The truth is… I’ve been carrying around all this anger for so long. At first, I thought it was because you were always pushing my buttons or calling me out. But the more I think about it, the more I realize that it’s not about you at all. It’s about me. I’ve been projecting my own shit onto you, and that’s not okay.”

His hands tightened on the wheel as he glanced at you briefly, guilt etched into every line of his face. “You’ve been nothing but honest with me, and I’ve thrown that back in your face every chance I got. I don’t even know why. Maybe because it was easier to lash out at you than to deal with my own crap. But that’s not an excuse. I’ve hurt you, over and over again, and I hate myself for it.”

Your chest tightened at his words, the sincerity in his voice catching you off guard.

“I guess… I’ve been jealous of you,” Matt admitted, his voice quieter now. “You’ve always had this way of handling things—like, you’re so driven, so put-together. Even when things fall apart, you don’t let it stop you. And I hated that because it made me feel like a mess in comparison. Like I couldn’t measure up.”

“Matt…” you started, but he held up a hand.

“Please, let me finish,” he said, his voice almost pleading. “I know that doesn’t justify anything. I’ve been a shitty friend. Hell, I haven’t even treated you like a friend. I’ve treated you like someone I could take my frustrations out on, and I’m so, so sorry for that. I’m sorry for all the fights, all the insults, all the times I made you feel like you weren’t enough. Because you are enough, Y/N. More than enough.”

Tears welled up in your eyes, but you blinked them away, unsure if you were ready to forgive him yet.

Matt turned to face you fully now, his eyes earnest and a little glassy. “I don’t want to fight anymore. I’m tired of it. I don’t want you to feel like you can’t be around me, like you have to walk on eggshells every time we’re in the same room. You’ve always been there for my brothers, for all of us, and I’ve done nothing but push you away. I don’t want to do that anymore.”

He hesitated, swallowing hard before continuing. “I know I’ve got a long way to go to make things right. And I don’t expect you to forgive me right away. But I’m asking for a chance—a chance to show you that I can be better, that I want to be better. Not just for you, but for myself too.”

You felt your lip tremble as you tried to process everything he’d just said. The rawness of his apology, the vulnerability in his voice—it was so unlike the Matt you’d been clashing with for years.

Matt reached over hesitantly, his hand hovering near yours on the center console. “I mean it, Y/N. Every word. I’m sorry. And if there’s anything I can do to prove it to you, just tell me. I’ll do it.”

For a moment, you sat there in silence, his words hanging heavy in the air. Then, finally, you spoke, your voice soft but steady. “Why didn’t you just tell me all of this before? Instead of… everything else?”

He let out a bitter laugh, shaking his head. “Because I’m an idiot. And because it was easier to pretend it was your fault than to admit I was the one with the problem.”

You looked down at his hand, still hovering near yours, and after a moment of hesitation, you placed yours over it. His fingers curled around yours gently, as if he were afraid to scare you off.

“Matt…” you began, your voice trembling slightly. “I’m not saying everything’s magically okay now. But… I appreciate you saying all of this. I really do.”

A faint smile tugged at the corner of his lips. “That’s all I can ask for.”

You looked down, your thumb brushing over the back of his hand. There was something vulnerable in the air between you two, a tension that was unfamiliar and heavy but not unwelcome. For once, Matt didn’t feel like your enemy. He felt like someone who was finally trying to understand you.

“Can I…” Matt hesitated, his voice unusually soft. “Can I hug you?”

You blinked at him, taken aback by the sudden question. But the sincerity in his eyes made you nod without thinking.

“Yeah,” you murmured.

He exhaled in relief and leaned over, wrapping his arms around you carefully, almost as if he were afraid you might pull away. His embrace was warm, solid, and it took you a moment to relax into it. But when you did, you felt a strange sense of comfort, the kind you hadn’t felt around him in years.

You rested your head against his chest, and his hand came up to gently cradle the back of your head. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered again, his voice muffled but still so close to your ear.

“I know,” you replied softly.

You weren’t sure how long you stayed like that, wrapped in the quiet, tentative warmth of his arms. It felt like the weight of all those years of tension was melting away, even if only for a moment.

Eventually, you shifted slightly to look up at him, and Matt looked down at you. His expression was open, more vulnerable than you’d ever seen him before. For a brief second, neither of you moved, and the world outside the car seemed to fade away.

You hadn’t realized how close you were until your eyes dropped to his lips. They parted slightly, and his breath hitched. His gaze flicked to your mouth, and suddenly, it felt like the air in the car had grown impossibly heavy.

“Y/N…” he whispered, his voice low and unsure, as if testing the waters.

You didn’t respond—not with words, at least. Your breath caught in your throat, your heart hammering as you both leaned in, hesitantly at first. There was a moment’s pause, so brief it was almost imperceptible, and then your lips met.

The kiss was soft, tender, and filled with a quiet kind of desperation. It wasn’t rushed or messy; it was careful, like neither of you wanted to break whatever fragile thing had just been built between you.

Matt’s hand slipped from your back to your waist, pulling you just a little closer as his lips moved against yours. The warmth of his touch sent a shiver down your spine, and you found yourself responding instinctively, your fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt.

The kiss deepened slightly, and Matt tilted his head to the side, his nose brushing against yours. It was intimate in a way that left your heart pounding, your mind spinning.

Without breaking the kiss, Matt reached down and adjusted the seat lever, pulling it back to give you more room. His hands settled on your waist, gently guiding you over the center console and into his lap.

You let out a soft gasp against his lips as you straddled him, your knees pressing into the seat on either side of him. His hands stayed firm on your hips, grounding you as his lips continued to move against yours, slow but deliberate.

It was new, unfamiliar, and completely overwhelming—but it didn’t feel wrong. For once, it felt like the two of you weren’t at war. You weren’t fighting or tearing each other down. You were just… there, together, in a moment that felt like it belonged to no one else but you.

You weren’t sure how long you’d been kissing Matt, but it felt like time had stopped. The warmth of his hands on your waist anchored you, and the way his lips moved against yours felt so natural, so unlike anything you’d ever expected from him.

Between kisses, Matt pulled back just slightly, his forehead resting against yours. “Y/N…” he murmured, his voice a little breathless. “I don’t think I’ve ever…” He trailed off, a rare flush creeping up his neck.

You blinked at him, your chest heaving as you tried to catch your breath. “You’ve never what?”

He let out a quiet laugh, his hand brushing a strand of hair from your face. “I’ve never thought this would happen. Us. Like this. And… I kind of hate myself for waiting so long.”

His honesty left you momentarily stunned. This was Matt—your rival, the person who could always get under your skin. And yet, sitting here, holding you like you were the most fragile thing in the world, he wasn’t that Matt at all.

“Well, it’s happening now,” you said softly, a small smile playing on your lips. “And I don’t know if I’m ready to forgive you completely, but… this feels different. You feel different.”

“I am,” he promised, his thumb grazing your cheek. “I swear, I am.”

You leaned back into the kiss, this time with less hesitation and more certainty. His hands tightened on your hips, pulling you closer as the tension melted into something softer, more electric.

“Y/N,” he whispered against your lips between kisses. “I don’t want this to stop. But… if you want me to slow down, justsay the word.”

You shook your head slightly, brushing your nose against his. “I don’t want you to stop.”

His lips curved into a faint smile before they captured yours again. It wasn’t rushed or chaotic; it was patient, deliberate like he wanted to savor every second.

But just as you started to lose yourself in the moment, there was a sharp knock on the passenger-side window.

You froze, your eyes widening in panic as you turned to see Nick and Chris standing outside the car, smirking like they’d just won the lottery.

Matt groaned, letting his head fall back against the headrest. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” he muttered, his hands reluctantly dropping from your waist.

“Guess we’re busted,” you whispered, unable to stop the embarrassed smile that tugged at your lips.

Sliding off Matt’s lap, you scrambled back into the passenger seat, smoothing out your shirt and running a hand through your hair. Matt rubbed the back of his neck, looking equally flustered but unable to hide the amused smirk tugging at his lips.

Rolling down the window, you were met with Nick and Chris’s grinning faces.

“We just wanted to make sure you didn’t kill each other,” Chris said, barely holding back laughter. “We didn’t see the car drive away, so, you know, better safe than sorry.”

Nick leaned down, his grin absolutely wicked. “But clearly, you two found a different way to sort things out.”

“Real mature, Nick,” you shot back, though your cheeks were burning.

Matt leaned over the console, his arm casually draped across the back of your seat as he looked at his brothers. “Do you guys not have better things to do than stalk me?”

“Stalk you?” Nick gasped in mock offense. “We were concerned. Imagine our relief when we came out here and saw you weren’t choking each other—though, to be fair, this is definitely the opposite of what we expected.”

Chris snickered. “Honestly, I’m just shocked Y/N didn’t punch you in the face. Progress, I guess.”

You glanced at Matt, and to your surprise, he was smiling—not the smug, teasing smile you were used to, but a genuine one that softened his whole face.

“You know,” Matt said, his voice calm, “for once, I’m kind of glad you two interrupted. Otherwise, we might’ve stayed in here all night.”

Your jaw dropped slightly, and you smacked his arm playfully. “Matt!”

“What?” he said, feigning innocence as he held up his hands. “Just being honest.”

Chris raised an eyebrow. “Well, as much as I hate to break up this little love fest, are you guys still getting the slushies? Or were you planning to sit here making out until the sun comes up?”

You groaned, covering your face with your hands. “I can’t deal with you two.”

“Hey, you chose this life,” Nick quipped, winking.

Matt laughed, and to your surprise, the sound was lighthearted, even happy. He reached for the keys and started the car, shooting a glance at his brothers. “Don’t wait up.”

“Oh, we’re definitely waiting up,” Chris said with a grin. “This is going straight into the group chat.”

“Nick,” you groaned, giving him a pointed look, “if you just type one word—”

“I make no promises,” Nick interrupted, stepping back from the car as Matt began reversing out of the garage.

As you drove away, you couldn’t help but glance at Matt, your chest still fluttering from everything that had just happened. He caught your gaze and smiled, his hand resting on the console between you.

“Still okay?” he asked softly, his voice low enough that only you could hear.

You nodded, a small smile tugging at your lips. “Yeah. I’m okay.”

And for the first time in years, you actually meant it.

[kayakima]

Headcanon list: how the 104th cadets are when they’re drunk

(bonus Porco and Pieck)

Eren: Exclusively shotguns Twisted Teas. Could go either way between the one itching to fight anyone and everyone (especially Jean) or the one that ends up getting really emotional and crying in the bathroom. Sometimes he’s both. Wants to take his keys and start driving and has to be stopped by multiple people.

Armin: THE karaoke king. He’s awful, too. Nobody butchers ABBA quite like him and there’s probably 10+ blackmail videos shared between JCS that they hold over his head whenever they need him to do a favor. Annie gets really flustered watching him but everyone knows she loves seeing him have so much fun. Sasha joins in at some point.

Mikasa: Can down seven grapefruit White Claws and you’d never be able to tell she was drunk. Cleans up Sasha after she pukes and then makes sure Eren’s sleeping on his side after he finally passes out so if he pukes in his sleep he doesn’t choke. Stands in the corner watching and is generally very pleasant and active with everyone. Brings her own snacks but happily shares with Annie. Takes videos of Sasha and Pieck playing pranks to post online.

Ymir: Hogs a bottle of Crown Royal and gets really touchy with Historia later. Winds up taking her to the couch in the corner and they’re that couple that everyone ends up steering clear of out of a fear of interrupting because they’re making out and are really bad at being discreet about it

Historia: Chugs Pink Whitney like it’s nobody’s business. Is initially hesitant about going to the corner with Ymir because she wants to socialize but once she does she will not leave unless the house is burning down. Wears NASTY white air forces that are her go-to party shoes.

Reiner: Pretends to like Casamigos because he thinks it looks nonchalant but discretely steals all the Jell-O shots and takes them in the bathroom so nobody sees him. Everyone thinks he’s doing coke and he’s forced to admit to the Jell-O shots when Connie notices they’re all missing after an hour. Plays King’s Cup with Porco and cries with joy when he wins.

Annie: STRAWBERITAS!!!!!!! Similar to Mikasa in that she pretends to not be drunk but is a lot worse at hiding it. Surprisingly gets really huggy when she’s drunk and when she’s not watching Armin sing she’s clinging onto Pieck like a baby koala. Compliments everyone in really awkward ways (“Mikasa, you and I use the same fabric softener, I can smell it.”)

Bertoldt: Quiet drunk until that Deep Eddy’s lemon hits his bloodstream and then suddenly he’s “freestyle” dancing. Everyone considers it a hazard because he’s swinging his arms and legs around not knowing he’s hitting people on accident. Accidentally raids Connie’s room and eats his “special” brownies and then greens out.

Marco: Brings his own homemade raspberry lemonade. He’s happy to be involved but generally wants to make sure everyone’s safe and gets home alright. Puts half a shooter of Tito’s in it and freaks out because he’s scared he’s gonna fail a breathalyzer now. Brings a Polaroid camera to take pictures (mostly of Jean). Calls an uber for Sasha and goes home with her to make sure she doesn’t puke in the uber.

Jean: Jack Daniel’s is like water to him. That one guy that has the durability of a toddler and will jump off the roof onto a table to break it and somehow walks away with no injuries and no memory. LOVES to beat Porco at beerpong and asks Pieck if she saw him throw the winning shot. Always suggests going swimming. “Punch me in the face Eren, I swear I won’t feel it!”

Connie: ACTUALLY likes Casamigos. Gets so drunk he starts yelling at people in Spanish and nobody even knew he could speak Spanish, not even himself. Made Jell-O shots for Sasha. Somehow knows and has official setups for every possible drinking game in existence. Hosted the party and refuses to let anyone change the playlist that’s like 90% fetty wap.

Sasha: Green Apple Smirnoff. A Taco Bell cravings box HATES to see her coming. Ends up throwing up on Jean. Raids the fridge and pantry with Pieck. Takes videos of EVERYTHING because she knows she’ll forget what happened if she doesn’t.

Bonus Pieck and Porco

Pieck: Mixes the jungle juice and puts a fuckload of Beefeater gin in it. Dances for a bit with Benzodiazepine and can throw ass but chooses not to because “I only do that in the club”. Double checks to see if Jean is actually hurt after he jumps off the roof. LOVES to see Jean and Porco fight over her but doesn’t go home with either of them. Takes all of Connie’s cups out of the cabinet and then fills them with water before putting them back in the cabinet.

Porco: Watermelon Four Loko is to him like bread is to butter. REALLY sore loser when Jean beats him at beerpong and Reiner beats him at King’s Cup. Yells at everyone to talk to them even if he’s two feet away. Gives Pieck his jacket and Jean gets really jealous. Willing to get into a fight with Eren and actually does start kicking his ass until the fight is broken up.

Lmk if you want a part 2 lmao

[rwrbficrecs]

WIP Wednesday

A bit late but happy new year 🎊 starting the year off strong with 10 WIP recs - enjoy!! ❤️

the world forgetting, by the world forgot by @leaves-of-laurelin (book-verse)

@dot524: This is an extraordinarily sad and poignant story about the tragedy of a failed relationship and the efforts to bring it back together. Alex and Henry used to be together, but they grew apart. As part of their breakup, Henry underwent a procedure that caused him to forget Alex, and Alex decides to do the same thing. What will they do when they realize that it was a mistake? This is an Eternal Sunlight of the Spotless Mind AU, and I’m not familiar with that story, but the fic is engrossing and well-done. It’s also almost finished. Check it out!

Like Because, Love Despite by @aforgottennymph (book-verse)

@dot524: Alex and Henry are work rivals who are both working themselves to the bone. It turns out that they used to be together, but they broke up. Their assistants, Nora and Pez, have come up with a plan to get them together - mainly to make their own jobs tolerable. But Alex and Henry are working through a painful past, and things are not always as they seem. I was snorting reading the most recent chapter - this one is just fun, joyful, and hilarious. Plus there are some flashbacks to their relationship that make you feel all the feels. Can’t wait to see how the author gets these two together!

Break Out by @cricketnationrise (book/movie-verse)

@na-dineee: Ice hockey is the perfect setup for an MLM romance, right?! Novels like Time to Shine are a prime example, and there are already some amazing firstprince x ice hockey AUs out there. And now, cricketnationrise started one too – yay !! Humor, fluff, and eventual smut – ok, enough said, I’m in!

i'll be riding shotgun by @callmevenji (book-verse)

@na-dineee: As with ice hockey, road trips are just as popular setups for many beautiful rwrb fanfics. With this one, I’m able to tick off some of my favourite tropes, like enemies to lovers, oblivious Alex with abandonment issues, or found family. The author’s previous fics have always amazed me, and I’m sure this one will be no different – the setup is just too good!

tis the damn season by @littlemisskittentoes (book-verse)

@na-dineee: I think this is Sarah’s first multi-chap fic? Alex and Henry were childhood best friends, a friendship that meant the world to Alex. But that’s all in the past. Still, Alex’s stubborn heart never stopped loving Henry... The WiP is posted about halfway through, and it’s as beautifully poetic as you’d expect from Sarah. The small town setting gives off such cozy vibes – it’s just so lovely !!

The Love Lasts So Long by @chaa-kiao (book-verse)

@na-dineee: The Foxes are close friends of the Claremont-Diazes. However, Alex can’t stand Henry. Like, not at all !! Naturally he's kind of shocked/annoyed to find out that Henry will be spending Christmas with them. As usual, Alex is totally oblivious to his feelings, but they'll get there, won't they?! I love this author, and am so glad that they're posting again. A story about falling in love, discovering their feelings, and the magic of Christmas - even in January just perfect.

The Final Rose by @tinyarmedtrex (book-verse)

@na-dineee: Alex is the new Bachelor, and it's Henry's job to keep everything running smoothly. Of course, the whole thing gets off to a rocky start. Henry can't stand Alex and his easy charm, but as he gets to know him, he starts to warm up, realising his feelings are anything but professional. Are we here for this?!! Yes, we are, aren’t we?!

Sweet Little Lies by @celaestis1 (book-verse)

@dot524: Canon divergent AU where Alex misses the royal wedding and Cake-gate never happened, but a flirtation between June and Henry and a lavender relationship did instead. Alex is still obsessed with Henry and has to confront his own feelings as the situation unfolds. So excited to see where this goes, especially since I’ve loved this author’s other works!

Driven to Distraction by @happiness-of-the-pursuit (book-verse)

@na-dineee: Since last year’s photos of TZP and Nick at F1 events, we’ve all been waiting (okay, maybe just me … but you too, right?!) for this AU. And now it’s here, written by none other than happinessofthepursuit. It’s going to be 10 chapters, rated E, Enemies to Lovers—and chapter 1 already leaves you wanting more.

Married at First Sight by @omgcmere (book-verse)

@myheartalivewrites: If you heard squealing across the oceans on Sunday, it was probably me when I saw the email notification for this beloved author publishing her first fic in 3 years. Alex and Henry sign up to do a reality show (if you haven't watched it, don't worry. I haven't and I'm enjoying it all the same!) in which they are supposed to get married to a complete stranger--except it turns out they already know each other, and Alex has been nursing a grudge for years. We're only a chapter in but the tension has already built up to an excellent level and I can't wait to keep reading.

check out our past WIP recs here ❤️

[fadelion]

I didn't read a lot of the Future State arc, but I will fully admit that the image of Duke Thomas with Black Lightning as his stand lives rent free in my head.

Duke out here sneaking people out of the locked down surveillance state that Gotham has become, suit but no mask since vigilantes have been outlawed, is a known Person of Interest by the militarized cops and forces running the city, and this is how he comes back after he gets caught in a sting/setup: defiant, back on that good shit, and with Black Lightning riding shotgun in the sword on his back.

Duke "I know I'm a problem, do you want me to be YOUR problem" Thomas, people!

[redheadspark]

All Shook Up

Summary - Druig takes care of you after hours.

Warnings - SMUT WARNING! NO MINORS ALLOWED!

A/N - I got inspiration for his one shot from the GORGEOUS photoshoot Barry Keoghan did with Bumble for Valentines Day's. With him in front of the Pool Table... ;)

Enjoy responsibly :)

“Fuck…FUCK Druig!”

“That’s the idea, darlin’.” 

You opened your eyes seeing the lights shining down above you as hands were griping your hips so deliciously and possessively, your mind was in a pleasurable fog while your back was rubbing against the material below you.  Your thighs, though spread with no abandon, were starting to burn while you were covered from head to toe with sweat.  All you were feeling and sensing was red-hot heat, insane pleasure from the top of your head to your toes, and an insane high from Druig making love to you.

No, he wasn’t making love to you.  He was downright devouring you.

This was his idea, you had no idea you would end up literally on your back on top of a pool table with Druig drilling his cock into you at a steady rhythm.  He wanted you to come out to his pub and poll hall that night, you two haven’t been able to spend some time together as a couple since you both were busy.  Your workload and a full-time job were making you mostly unavailable for a date night or a late-night hang out with Druig, just as Druig running his pub kept him away for several hours on end.  

But finally, you had time to hang out with Druig after closing time, you were able to catch up with your mutual friends Makkari and Kingo.  The pub was pretty busy, Druig being a hands-on owner, and was all over the place.  You loved watching him at work, seeing him reload new kegs when they were out, checking in on his wait staff when they looked swamped, and even waiting on dirty tables You knew he was a devoted owner of the pub ever since he inherited it from his old boss and mother figure Ajak, doubling the profits and popularity in no time.  He moved into the apartment that was on the second floor, right on top of the pub with a massive view of the city below.  It was the best setup for him, and for you when he asked you to stay over for the night or for the weekend. 

He asked you to stay after hours when he locked the doors and lowered the blinds, and before you knew it, with a few glasses of wine and using some of his weed, the night led you two to this predicament.  

“Jesus, you look amazin’, sprawled on his table for me,” Druig growled as he thrust hard, you moaning loudly and reached for his spare hand for him to lace together near your head.  His other hand was cradling your neck, his body hunched over yours as he had you along the edge of the pool table.  It started with making out, Druig perching you on top of the Pool Table with ease as his kisses along your lips were making you dizzy.  

Something about Druig and his way to draw you in, to make you feel so loved and safe, you would fall under his spell every time.  He loved you and cared for you, showed you respect to the tenth degree, setting the bar far too high for any other guy to come around.  

After shotgunning the smoke from his parted lips and feeling his tongue dance against yours, you were falling for him all over again.  His hands were all over your body, pushing up the summer dress you were wearing to be bunched around your hips, and his thumbs then hooking along your panties to let them drop to the floor.  Before you knew what was happening, he was kneeling between your legs and making you shake in pleasure with both his lips and fingers inside your aching pussy.

It was almost like liquid fire along your skin, your fingers digging in his brown hair as your other hand was holding hard to the wood of the pool table.  It was almost like an erotic scene to be certain, to hear and feel Druig moan against your cunt as he was picking along your folds before flicking his tongue right up against your clit to make you scream. You were feeling the adrenaline from both the wine and the weed, but both were nothing compared to the pure lust that was in your veins as you were trying to stifle your moans by biting your lower lip.  

Druig must have heard it, pausing his movement and looking up at you as you were shaking from the insane pleasure.  You watched with glossed-over eyes, Druig on his knees with his eyes on yours whilst his head was still perched between your quivering thighs.  You saw the moisture painted on his lips and chin, you mewling from the sight as Druig sunk two fingers into your pussy as he smiled wide.

“Don’t be quiet on me darlin’.  I want ya nice and loud for me,” He commanded, his fingers curling as you fell back in a heap.  

After cumming from his tongue and fingers, Druig then had you bent over the side of the pool table, chest against the green material as he sunk his cock in from behind and took you then and there.  It would have sounded almost guttural from anyone else passing by, even that late in the night since the only sounds that were heard were the balls rolling around on top of the table and the slapping of skin.  Druig kept his hands everywhere on your skin, your sundress still on but barely as he was kneeling your breasts under the dress and sinking his fingers into your hair while his hips were constantly rolling over and over.  

You felt that tightness all over again, from this new angle and how his cock was so snug within your inner walls and hitting that sweet spot deep inside of you.  Druig always knew the best way to make you feel all the pleasure in the world when you two were in bed together, especially the first time he sunk into you.  Something in the way he fucked you, both in intensity and yet with gentleness as he watched you come undone under him.  He was entranced by the sight of you orgasming on his cock, calling out his name in such a way it was almost like a religious experience.  

This night was no different as he reached around to flick his finger against your clit, rotating it twice before you came so hard you were dragging your nails along the green cloth.  He hunched over you, holding you close while you experienced the aftershocks from your climax before he gave you a filthy kiss along your neck.

“How close are ya?  Tell me, sweetheart,” Druig commanded with a grunt as he was fucking you a bit faster now, seeing you shaking and biting your lip as sure signs of you about to reach the peak.  You look up at him, smiling in lust and bliss at the sight of Druig above you.  His eyes drilling into yours as his brown hair was plastered to his face, the open blue shirt he wore that night for work still on but now stuck against his chest and back from the sweat, he looked gorgeous to you.  With his muscles along his arm and chest and the distinct v-line from his hips, you were under his spell with no sign of snapping out of it as he was staring at you like you were prey that he wanted to devour.  

You must have looked like a mess, your summer dress now on the floor and being bare naked on top of one of his pool tables.  He loved seeing this side of you, not wound up tight like you usually were because of your job.  Druig always made it his mission to make your walls come down when he was with you, whether it was with back massages or sending you to the spa that his friend Sersi ran, seeing you relaxed and at ease made his heart happy.

But his favorite way of releasing your tension was fucking your brains out.

“F-Fuck, I…I’m so c-close!” You moaned as Druig kept thrusting, going a bit harder now while he watched your eyes roll back in ecstasy while the tip of his cock hit your sweet spot deep inside of you.  He leaned down, the new angle made you both moan sinfully as he wrapped his hand behind your neck to have you sit up.  You were so close to falling over in a blissful orgasm that you knew would shake up your world, you just needed a bit more of a push as Druig pulled you to be chest to chest with him.  You clung to his back, pressing your head into his as he bottomed out completely into yours.  At this point he was now grinding into you, the sheer force of his strength behind every push into you almost made the pool table shift and squeak, yet neither of you cared.

“Cum on baby…cum on my cock.  I wanna feel it, every single ounce of it as you cum and drench my cock,” He growled against your neck as he was grinding over and over.  You tried to speak, but all you could do was moan as the peak was so close, literally on the tip top of your spine and about to crash over your head.  Druig felt it too, how your pussy fluttered around his cock that was throbbing and aching to unload deep inside of you.  He just needed to tip you over the edge and knew precisely how to do it.  Your neck was so sensitive and so responsive, that he placed his lips over your neck right where your pulse point was.

He bit down very lightly, you screaming as you finally orgasmed and clung onto him.

It triggered his own orgasm too, emptying himself inside of you like a heartbeat and not slowing down or stopping.  You both were plastered to one another, coming down from your highs as the loud moaning was turning into whimpers and hums.  Druig kissed your skin wherever he could, still holding you tight as his hips were slightly moving again and again and still emptying himself inside of you until he felt himself spent.  Even Druig was shaking while his heart was beating rapidly against his chest, pulled away slightly to stare at you, and smiled in bliss.

There you were, coming down from your orgasm and yet still looking beautiful and almost heavenly in his arms as you were open and bare to him.  He loved the way you looked and felt beautiful in your own skin, for as long as he knew and loved you Druig loved the confidence you had and he wished he had it himself.  And you were sagged against him, Druig was rubbing his hands along your skin and kissing your cheeks as you lazily smiled, both in satisfaction and in exhaustion.

“Jesus Druig, I can’t even…I can’t walk,” You hummed, out of breath as Druig duly chuckled.  You looked over your shoulder at the scratch marks you made on the green cloth, grimacing a bit, “I’m sorry about your table.”

“You kiddin’ me?  It’s sexy as hell!” Druig reassured you, making you laugh as he kissed you sweetly and pulled out of your carefully.  You shook from the feeling of being empty, though Druig never released you from his arms as he spoke again against your jaw, “I’ve hated this pool table anyways.  I can call to get a new one tomorrow.  Come on, I wanna take care of ya in the shower,”

You squealed and laughed as he lifted you in his arms bridal style, both of you still naked with no shame as he strolled over to the backdoor that led to a pair of stairs that then led to his small and cramped apartment.  

The End.

Fic based on this masterpiece of a photo :

Tagged - @a-lumos-in-the-nox

[sirfrogsworth]

Curious what's your grudge with sm7b is.

Like, imo, if one microphone had to become popular, sm7b is one of the better options. It's well-liked among professionals for its frequency response and smoothness, the fact that it's a dynamic microphone means that it sounds good even in poorly treated environments (picks up less room echo).

I think it's a really versatile mic. Ofc there are better options for certain situations. But you can't trust each person to research everything, esp cuz it could lead to them picking an even worse option. At least it's not blue yeti anymore

The SM7B is a fantastic microphone, but it is a pain in the ass.

It's very insensitive, which is great for dynamic singers who go from quiet to loud, but for a regular speaking voice it needs a cloud lifter to boost the gain. Even then it needs to be relatively close to the mouth. It's XLR, which is another hassle. It has a shitty pop filter and no real shock absorption. And it really needs EQ to sound its best.

All of that can be overcome, but I just think it is a lot of work for a simple podcast setup. A USB microphone just makes a lot more sense to me for most people. Though I agree the Yeti is a travesty. It's trying to be too many things at once and doesn't do one thing very well.

I also think aesthetics should be a concern, especially since a lot of podcasts have a video version. Some may disagree, but I think the SM7B is an ugly mic. And it is so large and unwieldy that it usually blocks half of the face.

And there are so many really beautiful mics that sound just as good or better. If people have good sound absorption in their recording space, they could use a more sensitive mic and place it farther away so it doesn't block the face.

I really like the Earthworks Icon.

I just think that is a gorgeous mic and I like the sound better than the Shure.

But there are tons of really beautiful options.

For video, people could also do a high quality lav mic or a shotgun mic out of frame. They don't need to have any visible microphone and they can still get very good sound quality.

And if they only care about the absolute best sound quality, picking out a mic should be a personal thing. I feel folks shouldn't just get what everyone else is getting. They should get something that specifically suits their voice. For example, if you have a deep baritone and want that boomy radio voice, perhaps get a broadcast microphone with good proximity effect. Different mics suit different vocal ranges and people rarely consider that.

There are so many amazing microphones out there and every single podcaster is limiting themselves to the biggest, ugliest, and hardest to use option.

I think folks should stop following this fad and do a little research to find a microphone that specifically suits their needs. They should listen to sample recordings featuring a similar voice to their own. They should consider ease of use, aesthetics, and sound quality. They may find the SM7B works best for them. And I would have no problem with that. But if I were investing that much money, I would want to be sure it was the best option for me.

I really like EposVox for mic reviews. He focuses on their use for streaming and podcasting. But I would still seek out sample recordings matching one's vocal range.

[skybrushus]

Note. To the best of my knowledge this is not based on any existing Fallout Equestria storyline, nor does it follow any particular plot in Fallout 4. This is just the narrative that popped into my head as I worked on this piece.

    Amber stepped out of the vault and squinted as the late morning light assaulted his eyes. Amber's outdoor excursion was driven by his desire to speak to Vault 69's resident armorer Lock n' Load about some repairs that were being done on his rifle. As such the hybrid pony/dragon felt rather naked just carrying his holster 9mm pistol.

    However the stallion reminded himself that there was four of the vault's sharpshooters to keep an eye on the area surrounding for raiders and dangerous wildlife. One of those sharpshooters was Coco Pommel with her 14.5x114mm anti-tank rifle. Link

     The stallion had been told by another vault armorer that had Lock n' Load needed to go outside to test fire a weapon. Thus his outdoor journey. Amber wondered why Lock n' Load had to go outside to test fire a weapon since vault's indoor firing range could handle everything up to 30mm autocannon ammunition?

      There was suddenly a series of quick shots and the stallion followed the sound. He quickly found 4 mares standing in front of a hastily setup shooting range. One was the vault armorer; standing next to burly earth pony mare was 2 pegasus mares that Amber recognized as being from Stable 69.

    However the other pony was new to Amber. A fuchsia colored earth pony mare wearing an eye patch and festooned in black leather garments was firing a rather short, brutal looking shotgun. It was a rather unorthodox device. 8 barrels of 20ga were arranged in a circular cluster. As Amber watched the earth pony quickly shouldered the shotgun and fired 4 more rounds. Then the mare unlocked the action and smartly snapped downward exposing the chambers. With her left hand she reached for a large stud inside at the center of the barrel cluster and then smartly yanked it back. As the stallion watched the spent shotshells were ejected from the barrels. Then with practiced efficiency the mare began extracting new shells from a belt around her waist and started reloading the chambers when that was accomplished Lock n' Load look at the 2 pegasus mares.

      "Okay get us a brisk wind going away from us. Then we'll test gas discharger."

       The mares took off and came to an hover about 8ft off the ground. Then they began vigorously flapping their wings. As they did a steady breeze started blowing away from themselves and the other ponies gathered there. The fuchsia looked at the armorer who nodded her head. The other mare shouldered the weapon and pulled the trigger from forward trigger group. Suddenly a large cloud of whitish vapors and a tight stream of liquid erupted from the weapon. All of this enveloped a rudimentary mannequin about 7yds away. Obviously it had been setup for this demonstration. After a second this began to disperse away from the ponies gathered.

        Amber spoke as he walked up the small group. "Well that's a very distinctive demonstration." He looked at the newcomer. "And hello. My name is Amber....and you would be?"

        The newcomer gave the stallion a quizzical look. "Name is Cheerilee. Are you a member of this Vault?"

        The stallion grinned. "Yep! And who would you be and what do you do around here?"

        Cheerilee frowned. "I'm a school teacher."

         Lock n' Load spoke up answering the question that was rolling around in Amber's mind. "We're doing this test outside because the firing range's ventilation and filtration system is on the fritz and I didn't want to flood the vault's air circulation system with tear gas."

        This is a Patreon reward for Skyline-Twilight. The weapon she's holding is a prototype Colt Hillberg Defender shotgun. It's a very obscure weapon. Not even Ian at Forgotten Weapon Link has done a video on it yet. So most of the reference images and information I had came from the 1978 book The World's Fighting Shotgun written by Thomas F. Swearengen. Link He had wrote an extensive article in the book on it. It was a developed to fire 20ga shotshells while having a nonlethal tear gas dispenser built into the weapon.

I hope you like what you see. Please help make more art like this possible by supporting me at Patreon

[tendie-defender]

Shotguns are really my wheelhouse outside of the Spas12.

BUT!

PSA’s 570 concept has me interested.

I know their 50BMG is getting all the attention and the Mac11 “at home” is something I would most definitely get. But the 570 is a modular system that allows you to use existing aftermarket parts AND it has a setup that allows you to switch inbetween semi auto and pump action like the spas12.

[puck-luck]

ik bea was mad, jack and luke were separating her and quinn during the car ride like wdym she couldn’t even hold his hand

So here's my vision!:

The car setup while Bea is texting about that is like

Quinn Jack

Luke Bea

So, I think it would be really difficult and very unsafe for Bea to be holding Quinn's hand in any seat EXCEPT shotgun, which Jack took and refused to give up. Goon behavior.

All is resolved when it's Luke's turn to drive, though, because Quinn just takes his seat next to Bea. Then, they can hold hands. But still omg three wholeeee hours where Beaquinn can't touch? Wow for two people who love physical touch, that must've been torture... (I'm being sarcastic and teasing them)

[recoiloperated]

I'm looking at needing a more CQB centric rifle setup in the next year.

I'm probably just going to swap a one power/ magnifier stack on the bravo 353, and put the six power lpvo on old the OG carbine because it has the world's crustiest first generation one to four on it.

Tbh I need to finish a bunch of gun projects and stuff before I mess with it too much.

The shotgun bayonet projects, the M16A1 de-ishing, the 723... I think that's about it.

[kimberlyeab]

I saw your reblog on Cadence’s post, sounds like they aired out some dirty laundry in a half assed callout post and I apologize you had to put up with that. But your post got me thinking about the HDG Discord’s rules for stories, and the resulting creative sterility I feel has followed. Maybe I’ve just shotgunned too many of these fics back to back, but I feel that the rules of the Discord have resulted in HDG fics following only a few preset plot lines and that in many of these fics you could swap the names of the human or Affini characters and hardly notice because the setup for the plot and the character’s motivations aren’t very distinct from one fic to another. I’m not even slamming the authors for that, most of these people are happy amateurs working on these fics in their free time and I do take that into account. I feel the issue comes from the HDG discord wanting an SCP-esque friendly collaborative writing experience but aren’t willing to allow the massive creative variety that allowed SCP to flower as it has. Am I cooking or cringe?

Personally i think you're cooking. It does feel like the general populace wants one kind of story and punishes those who venture beyond it. i even expressed that i thought the community has lost a lot of its teeth from the early days. Seems like they really wanna sand off the edges.

Like Abscissions is held up as a defining work for the setting and had an affini inflict plenty of physical and emotional harm on Terrans but it's not a topic you can explore anymore.

But also i'm the motherfucker who got banned so i am probably biased. But if people have these issues i can safely say there is a community outside the established discord if you're willing to trade in views for creative freedom.

my discord is always open.

[fluentmoviequoter]

The Freak and The Princess (II)

Summary: Eddie lets you walk by during his rant in the cafeteria, stumped by your quietness and manners toward the town freak. He then decides to be the perfect gentlemen. [Part 2/5] 1.7k+ Words

Warnings: blood and stitches, flirty best friend Steve Harrington?, but other than that none that I know of!

A/N: Thank you so much for all the love y'all showed Part 1! I feel like I should call this Part 1.5 because Eddie isn't in much of it but it is setup for an eventful Part 3. (Apologies for any inconsistencies in the formatting, I’m uploading from the mobile app and I'm planning to review it later.) I edited this and proofread it, but please point out any errors or things that you like! And please send requests; all the characters I write for are under my tag #characters! Hope you enjoy! :) Part I

The Freak and The Princess

Part Two: More of a Prince

“I’ll see you in the morning,” Eddie said, opening the door of his van for me.

“Eddie, you really don’t have to drive me to school every day. It’s a 10-minute walk, I can manage.”

“I’m sure you can, but I’d prefer knowing you’re safe,” he said, more serious than I’d heard before.

“Thanks. For chauffeuring me everywhere and for the milkshakes.”

“Anything for you, princess.”

He waited until I was safe inside to pull out, waving as he drove away. I put my things away and collapsed on my bed, groaning as my phone rang.

“Hello?” I answered.

“Hey, babe. We have a slight problem. Are you busy?” Steve asked, slightly out of breath.

“Russian soldiers slight or Dustin fell off his bike slight?” I questioned, sitting up.

“The second one. There was an accident and there is a lot of blood, and I don’t really know what to do.”

“Where are you?”

“Hawkins High. Back parking lot. Thank you,” he said before hanging up.

“What did you get into, Steve Harrington?” I whispered as I grabbed my purse and started running toward the school. I turned the corner into the back lot, seeing Dustin and Lucas lying on the blacktop, laughing weakly.

“Steve?” I called as I approached.

“Oh, thank you,” he mumbled, jogging toward me. “They were playing some game and got spooked by something, I think? They won’t really tell me what happened, and they won’t let me take them to the hospital.”

I nodded, handing him my bag and kneeling by them. I noticed that most of Dustin's blood was from a gash below his hairline.

“Steve, I need something to stop the bleeding. Is there any cloth in my purse?” I heard him open it before handing me a white shirt. “Sorry, Eddie,” I thought before pushing it against Dustin’s head. “Hold this here, keep firm pressure,” I instructed Dustin before turning to Lucas. “Where are you hurt?”

He held up his arm, a deep cut spanning his forearm.

“Steve?” I asked, looking up at him. “He needs stitches.”

“No hospitals!” Dustin and Lucas yelled.

“Fine, fine,” I said, thinking. “Can you get us into the school, Steve?”

“Let me go check the doors. If they’re locked, I can’t, not without breaking in anyway,” he said before running toward the building.

“What happened?” I asked Dustin.

“You can’t tell Steve,” he said. I nodded, and he started talking again, “We were playing a new game that Eddie showed us, I don't remember the name of it. Neither one of us realized Jason and his goons were here until they came out and started hitting us.”

“Jason Carver did this?” I asked.

“Yeah,” Lucas said slowly, watching me from the corner of his eye.

I clenched my jaw, looking back to the building to see Steve running back, shaking his head.

“I have the stuff to do it at my place, can you drive them?” I asked.

Steve nodded, helping Dustin up and into the car as I did the same with Lucas. I had one side of my shirt pressed against his arm to stop the bleeding.

“Dustin gets shotgun,” I said, climbing into the back with Lucas to keep pressure on his cut. His blinks were getting heavy. “Stay awake, Lucas, talk to me about your D&D Campaign, basketball, anything.”

He launched into a speech about the current campaign, not stopping until we got to my house and climbed out of the car. We got them into the house and sat them down at the dining table.

“Steve, get towels and the first aid kit. Both are in the closet in the hallway,” I instructed.

He returned quickly with the first aid kit and a handful of towels. He pressed one of the towels against Dustin’s head, tossing the Hellfire shirt into the kitchen sink. I laid a towel under Lucas’s arm, pulling the alcohol and stitching supplies from the first aid kit.

“This is going to hurt, Lucas,” I said gently, kneeling beside him, “if you feel like you’re going to pass out, don’t fight it, ok?”

He nodded, and I poured the alcohol on his arm, grimacing as he yelled in pain. I started the stitches, noticing that he lost consciousness after the fourth one.

“Dustin, stay awake, man,” Steve said to Dustin. “What does he need? The bleeding stopped.”

“I don’t think he has a concussion, but we need to be careful. Just put a bandage on his head and we’ll keep an eye on him. If he falls asleep, just make sure to check on him and wake him every hour or so.”

Steve placed a bandage on Dustin’s head, tossing two bloody towels into the sink. He helped Dustin to the couch before filling the sink with cold water and hydrogen peroxide. I put the last stitch in Lucas’s arm, the twelfth one. I replaced the towel under his arm with a clean one before wiping off the excess blood and wrapping it. Steve carried him to the couch before coming back to the dining room.

“Thank you,” he said, picking up the loose first aid kit supplies and placing them back in the box.

“Of course. Glad they’re ok.”

“Mind if we crash here tonight? I’ll take them home first thing in the morning.”

“That’s fine. You can take the guest room if you want.”

Steve nodded, thanking me again. The doorbell rang, and I looked at Steve, who shrugged and followed me to the door. I looked through the peephole, relaxing before pulling the door open.

“Whoa! What happened?” Eddie asked as he saw me, stepping across the threshold and gently grabbing my face.

“Dustin and Lucas got hurt,” I whispered, tilting my head toward the couch. He looked over, saw the bandages littering their bodies, then saw Steve standing behind me.

“You ok, man?” Eddie asked him, pulling away from me and closing the door.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Wish I’d been there when they got hurt. They won’t tell me what happened. I’m gonna head to bed though, we’ll be out of here first thing.” He walked down the hall, and Eddie turned his attention to me again.

“Let’s get you cleaned up?” He phrased it as a question, giving me an out.

I nodded as I grabbed his hand and led him to my bedroom and attached bathroom.

“Swanky digs,” he said as I grabbed some clothes and set them on the vanity top. He grabbed a washcloth and a bar of soap from my shower, setting them by the sink. “You change, and wash any blood off your skin, then let me know when you’re done.”

I stepped into the bathroom, pulling the bloody clothes off and washing with the washcloth as I went. I opened the door, carrying my bloody clothes to the kitchen and adding them to the sink. Returning to my room, Eddie was sitting on my bed, his boots and jacket discarded by my window.

“C’mere,” he said, holding his arms out. I climbed onto the bed and fell into his arms. “You alright, princess?”

“Not really,” I whispered. “It could’ve been so much worse.”

“But it wasn’t, because you and Steve were there,” he said, hugging me and rubbing my back.

“Why’d you come back?” I asked, voice muffled by Eddie’s shirt where I had my face buried in his chest.

“You left your history binder in my van. I’m assuming you’re not going to do your homework though?”

I laughed, shaking my head and cuddling closer to Eddie.

“Can I stay here tonight?” he asked. I nodded against him, and he moved to lie down, pulling me to lie beside him, tucked into his side.

“Are you ok? You seem- I don’t know,” I shrugged at the end, failing to find the right word.

“Post-terrified? ‘Cause that’s exactly how I feel. When you opened that door covered in blood, I swear my heart stopped.”

“Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, princess. I didn’t know what was happening and I was scared, that’s not your fault.”

We lay in silence for a few minutes until Eddie asked, “Wanna skip school tomorrow? Get a long weekend?” I shook my head, already planning what I was going to do to Carver tomorrow. “It’s really late, I don’t think you should go. We all could use a day,” he said, pushing a piece of hair behind my ear. I finally nodded, wrapping my arms around him and trusting he was right. “Get some sleep, princess,” he said, kissing my temple before I drifted off.

I woke up to someone knocking on my door. I wiggled out of Eddie’s arms, opened the door, and saw Dustin standing there.

“Thanks for your help. We’ll see you at Hellfire, right?”

I nodded as Steve came up behind him.

“Go get in the car, Dustin. Thanks again for last night. I called Keith and got us both the night off,” Steve said as he pushed Dustin towards the door.

I smiled my thanks and hugged him before he walked out at the sound of his horn honking. “I’m coming, you little buttheads!”

I turned around to return to bed and saw Eddie smiling at me.

“Have I ever told you you’re a really pretty princess?” he asked, morning voice in full effect.

I fought a losing battle against my ever-growing smile and shook my head as I sat back down.

“Well, you are. Pretty, gorgeous, breathtaking, the list continues.” I turned and hid my face in his shoulder. I felt his shoulder move as he laughed, his hand rubbing circles on my back. I spoke quietly into his shoulder, even though I knew he couldn’t hear me.

“What was that, princess?” he asked, gently lifting my chin with his ring-clad fingers.

“I said, you’re more of a prince than you realize,” I repeated quietly.

A huge grin broke out across Eddie’s face. He pulled me into a hug, collapsing on top of me. “You are something special, princess.”

We spent the day together reading, watching movies, listening to music, and eating most of the snacks I had in the top cabinet, hidden from Dustin. When he went home at the end of the day, my focus shifted entirely to Jason Carver and how I would make him pay.

Taglist: @loonalockley @paleidiot @kimmi-kat

[hometoursandotherstuff]

Modern 2005 house right on the lake in Wolfeboro, New Hampshire. 7bds, 7.5ba - $12.5M.

Very long hallways. Slightly disappointed that these upper windows overlooking the water are in the hallway. What a perfect statue for a shotgun house, too, b/c the rooms are as straight as an arrow.

The front area of the living room has panoramic views.

What a massive area to furnish and this furniture is so dull. There should be something high on the wall to draw the eye upward and bring the wall down.

The large monolithic fireplace is double-sided and on the opposite side of the living room is the dining area. Love the built-in shelving, but I would like it a little taller with an added sliding library ladder and an interesting background of either contrasting paint or wallpaper.

Chef's kitchen has a bit of a mid-century modern vibe.

I now like green b/c I'm so sick of houses that are devoid of color, I like it as the new neutral. At least it gives this beige room some pop.

This house is very long. Look at this hall.

The primary bedroom faces the water, has room for a full living room set, plus an office area.

The en-suite is very Zen. Look at the wooden tub setup. You can be buried in that thing.

Large secondary bedroom has a good view and a door to the outside.

As you know, every rich person's home must have a home gym, even if they only go in to dust it off.

Deck along the back of the home has a hot tub, and overlooks Lake Winnipesaukee.

Oversized sauna fits at least 4 butts.

Lower level patio.

Plenty of room to house your boats.

Property measures 6.2 acres.

[hekateinhell]

UNO REVERSE SILLY ASK what’s the road trip setup between louis, lestat, and armand? who’s sitting where, how long can they drive before they have to take a break, in your human au what are their favorite road trip snacks???

Omg I also love silly asks! I’m gonna set this in Exposed verse—y’all don’t have to read the fic, just know this is a Human AU where they’re teenagers and in love and figuring shit out :)

I’m imagining Louis’ wealthy parents own a cabin in upstate NY and they tell him he can invite his “friends” up for the weekend (they’re pretending they don’t know what goes on in Louis’ bedroom, they’re indulgent but they’re still Catholics yk).

The boys take Louis' car because it's the nicest one. I feel like Louis isn't necessarily materialistic, like he doesn't care what kind of car he has but he's definitely a grandma control freak about it! Don't Eat in The Car, Don't Fiddle With The Vents, I Swear to God, Lestat, If Your Boots Track Dirt in Here...

So, Louis is driving because it's his car and Lestat drives like a maniac. Lestat calls shotgun but he makes the mistake of assuming Armand would honor said shotgun declaration, and once he finishes showing off how quickly he can slam some suitcases in the trunk, he bounces up and finds his seat taken. No amount of threatening, pleading, and bargaining will make Armand budge from that leather seat—Lestat attempts to physically displace him and ends up bitten for his efforts, leaving him equal parts sulky and horny as he retreats to the backseat and Armand smugly settles into the coveted role of Passenger Princess.

Snacks! aka The First Rule to Go Out The Window

Armand’s favorite roadtrip snacks are Combos Pizzeria Baked Pretzels (these are one of Kacy’s fave roadtrip snacks too, which is why they instantly popped into my head for Armand, but tbh I really do think he would enjoy something unique and savory!) and a peach flavored Monster energy drink that doesn’t seem to have an effect on him one way or another.

Lestat gets the biggest Coke in a cup you can get in North America and a large hashbrown from McDonald’s (I’m sad to report we don’t have a Buc-ee’s in New York state otherwise he’d get Beaver Tots, which is exactly the same thing as tater tots but with a more suggestive name). He does have a bladder the size of a walnut and every half hour they have to pull over somewhere so he can piss.

Louis is like me, he thinks he’s above gas station snacks and fast food until he’s in the thick of it and he’s stealing bites from everyone else, but by God, their last stop before they arrive will be at a sit-down restaurant with cloth napkins and sanitary restroom facilities.

Bonus

Louis is an audiobook in the car kind of guy; he’s not interested in hearing about Lestat’s playlists, and Armand is on thin fucking ice with the volume dial as it is.

What should have been a three hour drive turns into five hours with all the stops, and Lestat always wanting a new drink in his hand and then needing to pee. Armand really lays the PDA thick on Louis with Lestat stuck in the back, earning him a few well-deserved yanks on his curls, however, Armand does have the presence of mind to relent and switch seats with him for the final leg of their journey so Lestat won’t spend the weekend in a horrible mood.

✨Compromise!✨

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary594

5/18-19/25

sunday - monday

worse than i expected.

a lot happened in a long span of time. dense and mostly very stupid, at times not awful but frequently tinged with some unpleasantness.

so, after getting ready and stuff, my gf's mom comes. the people we have today, are her, my gf's brother, and his gf. we got the gift, they gave her a card. the device her brother brought was really, i don't know, a lot. it's one of those things where you put your penis inside and make a mold and then, like, pour something in and make a clone of it. i think those must not work at all and the thought is rather terrifying. it's an unpleasantly intimate gift. but i guess it's the thought. or something. not really. he says he had to stand in a crowd of 50 guys in the breakroom, who are all standing around waiting to get sex toys, for free, cuz they're for whatever reason not in good enough condition to sell, and he says, let me get that, for my sister. really. he was insisting to us, that we use it, for him. for him. he kept saying that, for him, because of his social sacrifice.

so that's the beginning, with the group. and then we're off. we went to this one thing, in a shopping zone, maybe the right word would be an arcade... a shopping arcade. that's a fun thing to say. it was this bandai gachapon setup, i got 2 coins, i got this super cute hello kitty cardcaptor sakura thing. i got it mostly cuz i tend to like clamp's work, and the thing's cute:

my keychain is so #kewl.

i also saw this there:

gf got another one from this collection and some other knick knacks, her brother and his gf had fun there. then we stood around, waited for her mom, her mom came, then we went down the strip to the restaurant. it was a stupid place... our friends were there already, a couple, our friends from her school/workplace, really nice we hang out frequently he's the one who does ketamine sometimes and his gf, they went to the napalm death show with us. he's fond of her mom, as a character. we're driving around in this parking structure to get someplace settled, and she's just going in circles, getting in people's way, her son is telling her to look out and stuff, she begins screaming, like, quit telling me how to drive or you'll make me get in an accident, you're what's gonna get me in an accident. etc. she drops us off, goes off to drive in circles more to find a spot, we go up, say hi to our friend in this place.

the restaurant is called happy camper and it's like, today's super windy, it's summer and there is an awful amount of pollen and dust and shit in the air, and i have bad allergies, and this place is halfway outside, it's not actually enclosed it's just sort of got tarps up around the outside, it's like... i dunno. it's just basically sort of outside, even if it's more closed off there's a whole irritating breeze coming through, it's sort of warm, it just sucks. nothing too bad. as soon as her mom shows up, drinks are ordered, over the course of lunch, her mother orders 3 martinis, gets my gf to order one, she hates it, her mom takes the rest, brother gets bottomless mimosas (he had about... i dunno 7 pitchers which is equivalent to two glasses), gf gets these two alcoholic arnold palmer things basically, as well as these like, birthday things. i dunno what they are. like shotgunning flutes? i dunno. stupid as hell. but basically these 3 (as far as i know (lawl)), get super wasted over the course of lunch, and it's just difficult for me to be around drunk people at this point. it makes my nerves raw and it fries me. so i'm like getting... i dunno, it's a lot. the family dynamic, the place is loud as shit, the music is awful, everyone is shouting and screaming, and at one point, in effort on her brother's part, to lock in us using the penis cloning device, begins loudly shouting about how he humiliated himself for it, joking, not upset, but the table behind us was a big family with like kids and they had to relocate because of it and like... you know. it was exhausting. at one point, her brother, watching their mother drink, talked about her drinking being why he had to go off to pennsylvania for a chunk of highschool, spoken without much context. the context is, his mom was attacking him drunkenly, he was getting stronger and bigger than her, he was able to defend himself, she kept saying, if you keep doing that i'm gonna call the cops and kick you out, you need to leave, you need to leave, so he left. this isn't even getting to the food situation.

the food there was like mid at best. for one. and it's not like i spent money so whatever but like, it comes back later. but her mom shows up, things get started. the food is like... my gf, this is her birthday, she didn't really even want to come here, the plan was later tonight to go to korean bbq but that got nixed because, i dunno, time, basically. i told her that it'd piss her mom off so much and it was clearly irritating to her that my gf had other things she wanted to do on her birthday, instead of doing what her mom wanted to do. (weird aside, during the lunch her mom kept talking about how she did so many projects for my gf in school, proudly, as if it's good to be so controlling and weird about your child's work and prevent them from struggling to fruit an idea), her mom is like obsessed with my gf really liking the buffalo chicken pizza, at this place, so she wanted to order that for her, her brother already wasted, during ordering, was like, yeah barbecue. confused, the guy put in barbecue pizza, then her mom was like, putting in orders for two more pizzas, because, i don't know. other people had other food, our friends ordered their own stuff. when the wrong one showed up, her mom just ordered the buffalo one again, after trying to complain and the server was like, i dunno i had it clarified by him. and her brother was like, i'm drunk! and he was! and her mom just threw more money at the problem. so with all the drinks and the pizza which was not good the bill was pointlessly, freakishly, huge. her mom ordered a pizza nobody even ate too, she was like, who wants a vegetable pizza, let's get a vegetable pizza. no one wanted it. she didn't even eat it. the bill was split between her mom and brother and our friend like, put in some money of his just to pay his portion + tip and then they just took all that and used it on the tip. which the guy deserves but still. i don't even want to say it, it was a freakish amount of money her brother and mother wasted on like, i don't even know... like 150 each of them??

but both at this point were really happy and wasted, as was my gf. at one point her mom told this story, we prompted her, about how she drunkenly drove off to utah because she wanted to run away from her family (about this she said, "i'm sure you can guess why," gesturing vaguely at both of her children), and how she wanted to see something beautiful so she tried to go to zion, wasted, drove nowhere instead, didn't know where she was, and then came back. she also told us how when she had a c section to deliver my gf, she almost died and how she deserves something today too because of that. this story always changes between her brother and her, someone different is always blamed for almost killing her. always switches place on birthdays, gives reason to get crazy i suppose!! but we all know her mom's just been hard relapsing lately. very ugly stuff.

so whatever, we go into the mall, her brother's got this plastic bottle full of extra mimosa that he finishes over his time in the mall, getting progressively more wasted. and my gf has some extra alcoholic arnold palmer in a can. they're both daydrinking walking around, we saw some stand selling fake labububus,

they decide they want to see real ones, we go up to this popmart store, there's a huge line, i say, we're not going there's a stupid line, my gf's like, nooo, and then sees the line, and then is like, did you see the line??? and i was like, yes. downstairs they went into urban outfitters, her and her brother, to see monchichi toys, which were all in a few buckets. it was cute to see them bond over that, her brother turns, walks, stumbles right into a display with a bunch of those stupid cups, like stanley-ish, i dunno. the insulated kind. he picked up nearly all of it but it was very, you know, one worker helped and was nice about it. on the way out i shielded the thing because i didn't want more fuss. their mom is sat on a massage chair near the entrance we came through during all this,, her and her brother go off to one too after seeing monchichi, in the center of the mall. and they're just there sitting forever, and his gf is holding 3 boxes of pizza, while these two drunken freaks are just getting their backs handled by these machines that made my gf and i independently think of the weird insect-like mechanical chairs in crimes of the future. to help the guy digest food. it was unnerving watching the black pleather undulate with many invisible limbs. waves at night, pushing their bodies around, they kind of gave themselves over to the strange insect-like things, both so floppy and drunk, they did not seem to possess themselves at all. the mall was overall nightmarish. i was like, let me make sure your wasted mother isn't asleep, i walk back to her, she's obv still super drunk but sort of calm, i feel like normal around her then. which is i guess a bad sign. but she's nice and then her thing finishes, we go back over, she's in pain (she is partially drinking to manage pain (which is 'understandable,' but mostly it feels like an excuse i don't know, is that cruel to say?)), she tells me to slow down, i slow down, we get there eventually. her and her brother are still just wobbling in the chairs, kicked around pleasantly. the pizzas are at least by that point set on the middle console so she's not doing too much work. they say they don't wanna go anywhere yet, so his gf and i go down with the mother's keys to at least put the pizza away so no one has to carry it. we get to talking in the parking garage looking for where she parked her car (she gave awful directions), and while we're talking she tells me, well she drove here wasted, she started at 10am. and then her bf/ gf's brother calls saying, where did you two go, we're all very upset, come back, come back now. we do not, we find the car, we put stuff away, she tells me about their stepfather being a dick to her, i tell her he once threatened to call the cops on me for no reason, once simulated a break-in because he wanted attention, he's just a stupid liar, don't listen to him.

back up on the surface, in the mall, we reconvene, i get my gf off to the side, for no real reason, i wanted to tell her to please sober up but i didn't because it'd have been mean and pointless, and she wasn't really difficult or anything, just wasted and happy. she's always happy wasted but sometimes, or usually, is too much for me. and then 2 more drunk people is way too much. but all i told her was her mom was drinking since 10 am, and she was like, since 10?? but she knew, as soon as she got in the car today, that we were being driven by a drunk woman. i'm just always assuming she's not. i expected drinking today, just, that it'd begin when i saw it. i was asking her if we were going to go to the hello kitty cafe, that seemed like it'd help her sober up but it'd also maybe make her sick, the icecream she wanted and alcohol would not mix. so we went more places in the mall. first was... yeah, that was when they went to build a bear. on the way up there, her mom split off from us, she wandered off into a california pizza kitchen, immediately i called it, that she went to whatever bar is in there, and started drinking. her kids were in build a bear, i was, as was her brother's gf. i didn't really like it. her brother really wanted pikachu, he got a pikachu, then he, very drunkenly, ambling, stumbling, slurring, to his sister, around the store, i'll buy you one, anything, i'll take care of it. he kept saying, paying for food, i'll pay for jubilation. it's good to spend money on jubilation. he went on a rant, about how he doesn't save money because he can always pay for what he has, that when he has a kid, he'll lock in then, but until then, he doesn't need to worry because he can pay for what he needs. then he said, maybe i'm infertile, i had chlamydia for a year. on and on. said, instead of buying zyns, i'll buy diapers. so he was inside build a bear telling his sister, my gf, that he will buy her anything she wants, she looks around, finds a peter rabbit one, gets that. she put a cotton candy scent in him, and rabbit sounds when you squeeze his hand. i am afraid she loves it more than me and i feel that way any time she gets a stuffed toy of some kind. i don't mean to be jealous. i guess i'm just lucky it's things that are far away and inanimate objects i have to be insecure over. her brother got pikachu, put the smell of strawberries in him, or his gf decided on that, and he got the pikachu sounds. both were stuffed firm, as far as i know. her brother got a suit, for pikachu. his gf got him a cowboy hat. my gf got ribbons for the rabbit. the pikachu was named trumpachu. my gf named the rabbit bunni. when i heard the pikachu would be named trumpachu, and they were up at the console thing, naming them with the birth certificate and stuff, i had to get out, my feet hurt, some kind of social humiliation was bound for the group and i wanted to not experience that. i realized there were no benches up in the walkways on the floor i was on, found a basically empty kay jewelers and sat in there a while. the people there left, the woman asked if she could help me. she seemed disquieted, i think i was very vacant and distant when i said, no i'm waiting for people. i realized i was not waiting for them to find me, my phone had died, they might have wandered off without me. i was no longer managing the drunk people, they might lose me in here. i had long thoughts of being abandoned in a mall, which made me feel the way you feel as a kid, about being lost, and also not at all, returning to those same feelings, feeling them grow into something else, wanting the total coldness of abandonment and to not have to deal with it anymore, afraid too. trying to figure out where they'd go. looked for them in the hello kitty cafe, went back up, looked in the build a bear, saw them come from the hot topic 2 storefronts down. was relieved, was still scared.

in the hot topic, my gf bought her brother a luffy hat. she said the women in the store knew a lot about j fashion. thinking now, i sort of wish i talked to them a little more or something. but at the time i was very burned feeling, and fried, so i was like, okay. i mumbled it. they were wandering around, we went into the lego store, after people peed. i got a cool pen in the lego store. i mostly just needed a black ink pen for writing stuff in my notebook if i need things differently colored, the red can be annoying. and variance is helpful probably. the lego store was cute, my gf got a free minifigure, her brother bought the pen and a 5 dollar f1 thingy for my gf. everything in there is mostly too expensive though. they talked to my gf's brother about the one piece lego stuff. he was holding onto his donald trump pikachu tightly. he loves it. i wonder if at this point "loved" might be the best tense. we convened briefly in one of the extra foodcourt things and left stuff with her mom and his gf.

after that was a skincare store. i got some more extra hyaluronic acid, and some dark chocolate pocky i shared with her brother and her. both really liked it. it was very good. she got some lipstick, and it's good on her. that was a nice time. she got her brother a shin-chan hair tie. at this point the whole day was looking up more, everyone was closer to not entirely wasted, and these last two stores weren't i dunno, build a bear is depressing, i told my gf, i remember watching my stepsisters get theirs made when i was a kid, and i never got to have one. i think that was at disney land. i don't feel like i missed out but it made the whole thing seem dumb and i don't have any nostalgia for it. i guess it's sad in the way being excluded from anything is sad. i thought about the guy who drove into the ivf clinic, and how he said he didn't like anything. i worried briefly about being like that. i wondered what makes people not care about some things people care about a lot. i care about a lot of things people care about. but sometimes i feel cleft apart from that even, i care about clothes, but i think so much is ugly and i hate going into regular stores, i care about music but i hate a ton, i care about people but i can't manage to get along with a decent amount of them. i guess i'm just particular but the world feels like it doesn't want me to be, or anyone, or maybe it's just america, and that makes you feel really crazy. then i thought about that guy, and how i knew people like him, like his dead friend, got depressed about the resemblances, that lots of people are just like that, that it doesn't really matter, how misguided and bad so much internet philosophy is, etc etc etc. so the new stores weren't depressing, i wasn't thinking about manchildren, violently suicidal antinatalist vegans, super moralistic radfem terf vegans who resemble the terf antinatalist vegan who had a guy shoot her in her head except they're not antinatalist or suicidal at all but are super moralistic and weird and probably unhappily obsessed with all the bad things lots of men do, still. blah blah blah, i was just thinking, this is okay, or, i like this, or, we're okay.

we return, then we go, to the hello kitty cafe. we order, her mom calls, says. i'm going to the car now, i'm gonna warm it up, i'll go to the car now, okay. then she does. her brother comes, he's like, what's going on, we're like, she's just going to go sit in the car i guess, he's like, okay. he sits there happy, he's nice to me, he's nice to his sister. the family is drunk and nice to eachother. but it's not like, disingenuous. he can be nice not drunk, frequently, he is. he kept telling me how when he talks to me, i make him feel a lot better, because i dunno, i don't know what it is about me. overall, i'd rather be good for him than bad for him. i'd rather be good for everyone than be bad for everyone. i guess i just feel guilty, about being not mean to him, but it would mostly hurt to be mean to him, at this point. i do not like the way family feels as a concept. i do not want family, i feel forced at gunpoint into various family-ish arrangements. i also feel too, i don't know, i can't burn bridges easily. even when maybe i should. i tried, years ago, with him. but we're in proximity, and have been for longer than we weren't. and i just feel bad for him a lot. it's difficult to condemn him entirely and it seems like this new job seems to give him some kind of opportunity to find a way out of being... the clumps of bad behaviors and thoughts that he can be/have. but who knows. he bragged at lunch, today, about calling some women at a party bitches and how powerful it made him feel when they were taken aback. most people like that never get away from it. i don't know what to do. i don't know. would he he ever listen to me? i guess i have to try, right. at some point. i hope i am not cowardly about that. maybe all he really cares about is that i listen. what i have to say, sometimes, a lot of the time, to some people, is of no consequence.

when you're quiet, people do just think you're stupid. when you speak up as a quiet person, they just assume it's an idiot talking. i think about the bit from alan clarke's road where the one character articulates that sort of feeling a lot. it's maybe the most seen i've felt from a film.

this aside, we were in the hello kitty cafe, forced to scarf down orders because of her insane mom. his gf came, she said, she said she was in california pizza kitchen getting drinks, i was like, called it. i just wanna draw attention to the way her mother separates herself, because she always says, it's a sign of intelligence to be alone, and want to be alone, but really she does it because she wants to sneak various things, when we got to the car in the parking garage, my gf's brother's gf (lawl), she was getting in to drive, saw a white claw in the driver's side cupholder. she handed it back to us, it was open, i was holding it, her mom was like, get out, get out, i'm gonna drive. brother's gf was like, okay okay. when she got in the car, i opened my door to pour the drink out, emptied it, threw the can into the car's floor. i figured it would probably be best to get rid of the alcohol and reduce our likelihood of getting caught up in someone getting another dui. she got to driving a while, out of the complex, into the road back to the street before the real awful part of day began, what it was:

where is my whiteclaw, i had a whiteclaw up here. i had a whiteclaw up here. what did you do with it. who took it.

my gf and her brother were watching one piece on his phone in the back drunk and laughing and my gf said:

i drank it all already, haha.

he brother said:

she drank it all yeah.

her mother:

no, no, you can't have. don't fucking lie to me. don't fuck with me.

she said:

it's all gone.

he said:

it's in her tummy.

she said:

i drank it all, mom.

her mother:

fuck you, you didn't. you're pissing me off. i'll leave you on the side of the fucking road. i spent so much money on you, this is how you treat me? i spent 20 dollars on the whiteclaw, this is the strip!

(i want to note that she really spent probably closer to 30 dollars on more than one white claw, she was exaggerating/had the stupid brain people get when drunk, when one thing is huge seeming)

she then grabbed my gf's hand, my gf, screaming:

she's scratching me, she's scratching me!!

i said:

(mother's name)

her mother:

i'm grabbing your hand the way i did when i'd drag you to church. (slurring).

the car moved in silence mostly after this. her and her brother laughing watching one piece while her mom was trying to give them silent treatment. my gf was like:

is this the newest episode?

she said:

this is kind of good...

(my gf likes good anime and i think she was more catching some strange emotional thing from her brother loving it so much (which is sweet, how much he likes it (i just don't want to embarrass her by making it seem like she likes bad anime (she takes this kind of thing very serious)))).

in the back of the car:

clink clink clink.

i put the can under my heel (i was wearing high heeled boots which hurt my feel eventually but it was okay), crushed it. her mom did not seem to notice.

more silence. radio up to drown out the anime.

the two in the back:

turn it down. we're watching this.

mother doing nothing. brother's gf silent on her phone. wifi dies on his phone. sad. they bullshit the rest of the way home.

i wanted to scream kind of, i hated their mom so much during all of that.

when we get to our apartment, the plan was to drop things off, and then get back in the car and go get dropped off where our friend went after lunch with us. a poetry event with the mfas. i think it's maybe good we didn't end up going. we didn't end up going because her mom said:

you know what's going on now.

she said:

if you don't you're a fucking idiot.

took the can from the floor, threw it out in front of her in the big dumpster, which was maybe cunty of me but it felt right. i got the food we had for us from the back, and our stuff, but i forgot the dildo thing. which is okay. her brother also left his fascist pikachu in the car. her mom hated its name, which makes me wonder if she destroyed it, threw it out, did anything to it, to like, get back at her child who she resents. my gf got hers at least. she kept him in his box. after we all got out of the car, and were by the gate, i yelled:

bye (mother's name)!!!

she seemed bothered by it, which was the point.

we were all in the apartment, sitting on the couch, her brother more wasted than my gf's ever seen, basically entered some total trance state, catatonic and loopy, hardly able to do anything, becoming clammy, sweating a ton, totally gone, my gf blasted music in his ear, drunk and hyper, he was like, not happy about it but okay with it? i don't know. he regarded her the way hippos regard flies, a limb without will or force swings gently in an annoying direction. mostly i think he didn't like when she yelled in his ear if he liked the music or was okay. he made her play some bad new-ish kanye song from 2020. it made him wake up sort of, he sang along with it, knowing it by heart. he spit his zyn out onto himself, laid in the mess, laughed, stared at the ceiling, closed his eyes. waved a hand around, said some words incoherently. during this time, their stepfather is texting his gf, saying things like, you chose to stay with that circus, uber home now, take my car, fuck you don't take my car, i expected this, them and their mother drinking, should have known. i knew this would happen, i can't believe you didn't. don't come home. uber home. uber somewhere else. fuck you. you should have seen the warning signs. fuck you. etc.

we told her just go home with her bf because clearly this man means nothing he says, just uber home. so they did. he got in the uber okay, for a person that drunk, and i had them leave with a plastic bag for him to puke in if necessary.

after that, our friend from lunch came over, we told him what happened, he treated us to a japanese restaurant we like, which sort of saved the day. he's excessively kind and he said the poetry event wasn't actually so bad, since everyone was kept on time. then he dropped us off. and now it's 12:30. i started writing this at 9-ish. i was washing my face and all that. hopefully this captures enough of it. some truncations made obviously, it'd be impossible to get it all down perfect. especially the part with our friend but that was uncomplicatedly nice and nice of him. many thanks to him for that, and for people paying for us generally today. they didn't have to.

i saw this at hachi which felt like it captured today very well:

dreading the fact i will have to see her mom again at some point. during the ride she said she's just gonna say she doesn't know where her car is, the way my gf didn't know where the whiteclaw was, and not help us with groceries. in general, what she does, is forget what she acted like drunk, and then never take responsibility.

here's what i looked like today:

the one where i pantomime gun to my head felt especially potent today, as i did it, haw haw.

i listened to that city of caterpillar album while writing this, and then this song, on repeat, a bunch. it's just so good to have on. the melody is so.. idk. it helps draw things out i guess.

so that was my day. i didn't really do anything creative, today. i had no time. we spent all of today out. incredibly exhausting.

my gf said that this is far from the worst she can do / be, and it makes sense, she used to put away bottles of vodka and dig herself deep into a dark hole where she would behave totally violently. this is still within a... normal, sort of place, i guess. she's just gonna die like this i guess. either way, it's not pleasant, and the fact that i might still see her at her worse, kill herself soon, whatever, isn't pleasant. but i'm not even like, upset at the image. it's just a whatever thing. like, it could happen, she certainly seems to wanna.

i don't think i've ever seen her truly violently, as my gf has, gone. the most i think i saw before now, and maybe the most still, was this time she came into my gf's bedroom while i was sleeping there, and i just hid from her because i didn't understand what she felt like she had to say to us, and i was like, wearing girl clothes and didn't feel like being harassed for it at that point, it was early on in that for me. and she was like, i'm not a monster, i'm not a monster.

oh, well.

now it's 1 am. i just wanna sleep. wonder if i'll have a nightmare about this.

had a friend be very annoying online today too. overall the feeling is trying to be tough online. she is not tough, or jaded.

whatever, whatever, whatever. i'm in a mood for obvious reasons probably.

maybe human life is malignantly useless.

not really, not at all, but sometimes people will act in a way that makes you think that, and i think that's totally crazy.

but i like people and things and being alive and my gf and my friends.

so,

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!