#should have mentioned it sooner on here but i forgot that this account has like. 10 thousand more than any of my other ones

[gertritude-art]

Embarassingly, I haven't mentioned it on this blog, so I figured I would officially state that I stand against the ongoing ethnic cleansing/genocide of Palestine by Israel. I genuinely don't know what to say other than that I hope every politician - especially those in my country, the US - who has signed off on the murder of what is now twenty thousand civilians suffers forever.

[belphegor1982]

I posted the last chapter of this on AO3 just before bed and completely forgot to post it here as well. Typical bird-brained Bel. But here it is now if you wanted to read it and missed it! I’ll ad the AO3 link in a reblog, as usual :o)

Jigsaw Pieces

Chozen, uneasy

Daniel, adrift

Amanda, sleepless

Sam, shaken

Johnny, fixing things

Daniel, not alone

Daniel can hardly believe his eyes.

Seeing Johnny and Chozen side by side, Robby flanked by Miguel and Sam, Anthony behind his sister smiling proudly – it’s just surreal.

Sure, they’re not literally all here; there are a few gaps where students should be if this were a class (like Chris, or Mitch, or Demetri who mentioned something about getting a summer job last time), but even if the group isn’t complete, Daniel’s surprise is.

These past ten minutes have been one hell of a roller-coaster. He can still feel the warmth of Amanda’s hands holding his, the breath that rushed out of him when he stepped into Mr. Miyagi’s room for the first time in eight years, the tightness in his chest that hasn’t really had time to loosen yet. Mr. Miyagi kept his most painful memories in a box, on a cabinet, but at least he was brave enough to open that box from time to time. Even after the burial, even after almost a decade, Daniel has refused to open the door to his bedroom. His own memories of Mr. Miyagi are everywhere – on the wall of his home dojo, in the power and grace of his daughter’s karate, in his own soul – but that empty room is the last, final proof that the man himself is gone forever, and facing this fact for real takes a strength Daniel’s never felt he had. Until ten minutes ago, when Amanda gently guided him in front of that door and said I’m right here. And stood aside silently, her presence both supportive and unobtrusive, while he took in everything – a thousand memories, a thousand reminders of what used to be and can never be again.

The last bonsai Mr. Miyagi was working on has lost much of its original shape, but it’s still alive. Amanda must have come in regularly to water it in the past eight years.

“Is it gonna be okay?” he hears himself ask across thirty-four years while staring anxiously at a different bonsai.

Mr. Miyagi answered calmly then, “Depends. If roots strong, tree survive.”

Between his dogged nurturing and the strength of its roots, the bonsai in question lived, and still thrives to this day. Sometimes Daniel wonders how old it actually is. But then Mr. Miyagi was always good at taking care of lost causes and pulling off miracles.

Mr. Miyagi was also the only one able to defeat both John Kreese and Terry Silver, and easily at that. Over the past week Daniel has sometimes wondered what he would have made of the current situation. He has wished, more than once, for his old mentor to make things right again, or even just to have his back like he never failed to even when Daniel was pretty sure he didn’t deserve this unwavering support. Maybe he would have approved of Daniel’s capitulation – maybe he would have advised Daniel to step off a lot sooner, before kids started to get hurt – maybe he would have urged him to keep fighting. But you can’t ask a dead man what he thinks. You can’t ask a dead man anything. Tugging on a ghost is as useless as trying to catch the wind.

Except…

Mr. Miyagi did leave something of his here, and not just in the mementos left untouched and the warmth of the little house, the wood and the shoji walls. Of all the people standing in front of Daniel in the bright summer sunlight, only two knew him well (Amanda and Sam), three met him in person but only have sparse or superficial memories of him (Chozen, Anthony and Johnny), and the rest only know him from a picture on the wall and second-handed accounts. Yet it feels like he’s here, standing next to Amanda, smiling fondly. Like he never really left.

Daniel is hit by a memory, like a flash, of Mr. Miyagi and him going out to fish the day after the Obon festival. No training, no karate of any kind – just the two of them, a little boat in a secluded Okinawa inlet, and companionable silence in the sun. Not that Daniel would have been up for much more at that point; his fight with Chozen the night before had left him black and blue and utterly drained of energy. The stakes probably had a lot to do with it. Daniel had never had to fight for his life before.

“I forgot to thank you yesterday,” he said at some point, and Mr. Miyagi turned to him, eyebrows raised under his hat.

“For what?”

“Well, you kinda saved my life with that little drum back there. If you hadn’t… You know. I think the outcome would’ve been very different if you hadn’t been there.”

Mr. Miyagi twisting the little handheld drum back and forth had not only reminded Daniel of the eponymous technique. The lone reedy taptaptaptap had grown into a loud clatter as everybody else picked up on it and banged their own drums, a clear show of support that had confused the hell out of Chozen. Daniel, bruised and bloodied and almost out of hope, walking the wire between almost laughing and almost crying, had drawn strength from his last reserves from that sound – and won, somehow.

Mr. Miyagi didn’t reply right away. He adjusted his fishing rod across his knees and nodded.

“Drum not save life, Daniel-san. You down, you pick self up. Drum just remind you… Not alone. Got people in corner. And me.”

And then, just as Daniel’s throat went a little tight, M. Miyagi tilted his head to the side and added with an eh face, “Figure of speech.”

Daniel grinned at that.

“Well, thanks for bein’ in my corner. And, uh – you know I’m in yours, right?”

“Hai.” Mr. Miyagi’s eyes softened. “Miyagi know.”

They’d shared a smile, then gone back to gazing at the sunlight winking on the sea. It had been a good day.

The people standing in Mr. Miyagi’s garden right now could all be holding pellet drums. The two situations are night and day, literally, but the emotions rising in Daniel’s chest are very similar.

Mr. Miyagi may no longer be in his corner, but that doesn’t mean he’s alone – not anymore, like Sam just pointed out.

All the students – plus Amanda – bow as one, like they’re waiting for the lesson to begin, like it hasn’t been almost two months since Miyagi-Do (and Eagle Fang) shut down. Eli, Robby, Abe, Sam, Bert, Miguel, all of them – even Anthony, for the very first time. Sam’s smile is beaming when she straightens up, her eyes very blue.

Daniel looks at Chozen on his left, a silent question – though what he’s asking exactly, he’s not sure. Chozen answers with a determined nod nonetheless. Its meaning is clear: both vow and encouragement. We can do this, all of us. And the thing is, Daniel is starting to believe him.

He hesitates for a half-second before turning to his right and meeting Johnny’s eyes. But the expression in them is familiar, if always surprising to see on the face of his old enemy/rival/frenemy/friend. The last time Daniel saw it, Kreese had just thrown the gauntlet at them, and Johnny cemented their alliance of circumstance with three words – We won’t lose – and a look that had helped quiet down the snarling mess in his chest of fury, fear, and retrospective horror at what he’d almost done. Because if Johnny Lawrence, cold and grim and with the bruises from Kreese’s stranglehold just starting to form around his throat, could stand tall and steady and say “we”, after everything, then perhaps all wasn’t lost.

Johnny doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t need to. His small nod and the look in his eyes speak volumes. And just like that night last December, Daniel relaxes a fraction, with the beginning of a smile this time.

They bow to their students simultaneously, the three senseis, and as Daniel straightens up he can’t suppress a smile that seems to come from somewhere deep in his chest.

And a very distinct feeling of missing pieces, finally falling into place.

______________________

The end! I really hope you enjoyed this little story. I did writing it, even (especially) the parts that hurt :’) Please tell me if you did!

(Also I couldn’t help bringing Mr. Miyagi back a little, if only in flashbacks 💜)

[s-hera]

He's So Pretty! (1)

Child Sanzu Haruchiyo X Child Reader! (7/8 yrs old?)

~ tags. contains spoiler from ch. 241(?), Mention of blood, Fluff, Angst if you squint, Childhood to lovers!

~ wc. 0.6k

~ A/n. From my Alt Account, I already said that i'm going back on this account and write again for my 115 followers.

One | Two

“Ha-haru? Are you fine?” you asked the boy that's crying in front of you.

“No, Onii-chan gets mad at me again…it’s always my fault, i should stop talking to senju”

“Ehhh? Why? You’re the best big brother!”

“I always get scolded because my brother thinks i’m teaching her boyish things”

“Mhhhh…well you don’t teach her boyish things, right?”

“Of Course not! She’s the only girl, she need to act like a lady”

‘But being boyish sometimes is definitely fine and she hang out with you and your friends…and, and your brother is friends with your friends older brother too”

“Yeah, he always hangs out with shinichiro-kun”

“Senju’s older siblings are both boys too, you should expect her to act boyish, your brother should!”

“He won’t listen to me anyways, i not gonna hangout with senju anymore”

“Then senju would feel lonely, don’t you think?”

“...”

You and haru were childhood friends, both of you attends the same pre-school. His house is just a few steps away from you too, that’s why you two often meet, you haven’t met his friend but you already met his siblings, he always talks about how his past few days went like you two were really the closest friends!

One day you saw haruchiyo…with a bandage on his face, the bandage doesn’t look new at all, the blood almost covers it all, crying right on your face while your mom gives him a warm entrance.

“Haru-chan, what happened?” your mom asked him, but she was treated with a silence.

“Are you fine?Do you want something to eat? Or, or replace the bandage?” you asked panickedly since he was treats your mother with a silent treatment and the haruchiyo you know, the akaashi haruchiyo you know is talkative and loud.

“ ‘m fine mrs. l/n…this, this is nothing”

“No, haru you’re lying!”

“y/n, don’t shout at him, do you want some fruits or something? y/n’s father is going home sooner maybe you want some ice cream or something sweet?”

“Ice cream would be fine, mrs. l/n”

“You’re so polite haru-chan! And stop calling me mrs too, call me aunt or auntie…you were very closed with my dearest y/n, treat me as you mom too, ok?and let’s re-do your bandage, if that is fine with you of course!”

“Please, aunt” he said to your mom while looking like an abandoned puppy…

“Stay here for dinner too, i would be cooking something delicious!”

And the time flies as if nothing happened, but he was there on that house couch, on your house couch looking beautiful, like he always been. With his new bandaged face…but his wounds, when your mom looked at it she was shocked too.

“Do you mind telling us what happened?”

“This is no-nothing, aunt! No worries”

“Are you sure it’s nothing?im worried for you”

Lies, you know it was a lie…you didn’t want to push him or anything, thats why you didn’t bother asking.

And after that, after all of that…time really flies, just like three weeks ago haru was in your couch and now you would be leaving him.

“Im sorry, really sorry…my father got promoted, we need to leave and go somewhere faraway. But- but! Don’t be sad, tey won’t sell our house in here! I promise, im gonna comeback here! And buy ice cream with you everyday”

“I understand, no need to explain that much…” but deep inside him, he was afraid, afraid of being lonely, afraid that he doens’t have a people to call home anymore, he’s afraid you won’t comeback or even remember him, he’s afraid of you and your family leaving.he can’t do anything about it, better just to shut up and be silent.

“Forgot to tell you that, haru your face and scar is pretty! Just like your blue diamond eyes!” things you said before going in the car and leave japan.

© 2022 by s-hera━ all rights reserved! comments, likes, and reblog are highly appreciated. plagiarism is strictly prohibited.

[achliegh]

Golden

FEEL FREE TO SEND ME ASKS ABOUT HOW YOU LIKED THAT CHAPTER

OR IF YOU DIDN'T LIKE IT PLEASE TELL ME WHY

THANK :)

Yeehaw Leo… it's all because this song came on one day (I don’t even really listen to country anymore so it really is fate). Leo is based off that song, each chapter is going to be based off a yeehaw song too.

Characters belong to @lumosinlove

Beta: @the-most-slyterin-hufflepuff & @punkkkboi

TW/CW: Smut, terrible yeehaw sayings and jokes, injuries, mentions of past death/suicide, minor character death, underage drinking, mentions of past arrests, cringe

Chapter Songs (listening in order is recommended):

Chapter 13:

Anchors Away

Clay was bored, wandering around the mall with nothing to do. Thomas was at practice, Noelle was at work at the aquarium. He was alone again and he really didn’t like it. Leo was busy cleaning the apartment for his mom who is showing up later tonight and Reg was hanging out at the rink.

Clay thought about going to the rink but everytime he goes for longer than 20 minutes he gets a head cold. He was walking past a recently closed store and heard faint music coming from inside. He walked in and noticed a small table set up with two men who were jokingly singing along to the song.

Clay took note of all the posters around the small store.

‘Feeling like you need a purpose in life?’ Yeah, he does. Everyone around him is doing actual things with their lives. Reg has started going to art school for errotic photography and portraits. Leo has been selling horses over video calls with rich clients and helping his mother set up times for the clients to go down and visit the horses at the ranch. Obviously, the hockey boys are playing hockey. Noelle is a year away from graduating and was recently promoted, and Clay just kind of existed…

Leo jokingly called him a houseboy when he mentioned how he just stays at home and cleans, now that's all he is ever called by Leo and Reg and it really makes Clay feel worthless. He knows they don’t mean anything by it but…. It still stings.

He moves on to the next poster. “Want financial benefits, healthcare, and more?”

That would be nice, to make his own money for once instead of his parents randomly filling his account with too much money. Something he knows he shouldn’t complain about but he wants to make a name for himself.

‘Join the U.S Navy.’ He paused, he doesn’t know a lot about his birth family, but he does know they were in the military. He has no clue which branch and he knows if he asked his parents they would help him in a heartbeat. But maybe this was a way to find out on his own.

He left the mall feeling lighter, a pep in his step.

He just enlisted in the navy. He was going to make something of himself and maybe even feel like he isn’t just watching his friends and partners pass him by.

Then it hit him, the one thing Leo and him promised each other they would never do is join the military. Because they both know how it fucks people up. Leo lost his uncle, and Clay’s dad lost his own father to PTSD from not having proper care after. Maybe he just screwed up…. But there was no going back now. He wouldn’t.

Walking in the house, Noelle was looking beautiful. She was wearing a pair of sweats rolled up twice at the waist and one of Clay’s old ratty t-shirts. Her curly hair was in her normal ponytail and she was putting on her sneakers. She looked tired from work.

Earlier in the week when Clay and Leo announced Eloise was coming to visit for a few days Noelle started stressing immediately. She has always worried about meeting parents because they always seem to dislike her when they first lay eyes on her, she blames it on her chronic RBF. Clay reassured her that Eloise would love her and actually already loves her from all the stories Clay has told her on her weekly calls.

Eloise was coming tonight, fuck! It was his birthday today and he forgot to mention it! Oops...

Thomas was sitting next to her, freshly showered in his own sweats and t-shirt looking relaxed, he was wearing some socks with little hamsters on them that Clay found for him a while ago. It made his heart jump and he felt his face stretch into a smile. He was scrolling through his phone and Thomas’ whole face opened up in a bright smile as soon as he saw Clay. He made Clay feel so special in a specific way, a way that is so different from how Noelle does and he loves them both.

He needs to tell them that.

“I have something to tell you guys… honestly, I don’t know how you will react but what's done is done.” He puts his hands in his jean pockets and taps the hell of his boots to the toe of his other boot. He was fidgeting and knew the other two noticed. It made him even more nervous.

“That doesn’t sound like good news.” Thomas looks at him a bit worried. His smile was still there but it fell slightly and Clay just wanted to fix it. He noticed Noelle had paused stomping on her shoes, oddly similar to Logan, it made him want to stop what he was going to say but… communication is important!

“Well, I first need you guys to promise me something, then I will make Finn and Logan promise the same thing when we see them because I know I will have to tell them.” He has to tell them, so they are ready for Leo just, not being okay.

And it was all gonna be Clay’s fault.

“What's the promise?” Noelle finishes putting on her shoe and looks up at him. She is trying her best to keep her face neutral but he could tell the wheels were turning in her brain.

“Do not tell Leo, I need to be the one to tell him… and I know he isn’t going to react well. Same goes for Reg but I will probably tell him a lot sooner than Leo.” He keeps on switching his feet that he is tapping and finally looks at them.

It’s now or never.

“I enlisted in the navy today.”

“Okay, Reg and I are going to pick up Ma and then we will be right back!” Leo has been all smiles all day. Finn knew he was close to his mom but this is just adorable.

“Drive safe!” Leo and Reg wave as they leave the apartment and as soon as the door closes Clay is standing in front of Finn and Logan who are snuggled together on the couch. Logan was wrapped up in Leo’s favorite blanket that his grandpa made for him before he passed away. It was a woven blanket with an image of Peanut on it. That blanket has seen Leo and Clay in their worst moments.

He was surprised Logan wasn’t scared of it given his fear of horses.

“Alright you two, I need to tell you something and it needs to be kept secret from Leo and Reg, if you so much as tell them a peep I will never forgive you. That will make family reunions super awkward.” Finn looks up from his phone where he and Logan were reading the comments on their latest tiktok on their joined account.

“Don’t look at me.” Finn raises his hand on surrender and looks at Logan who rolls his eyes annoyed and snatches Finn’s phone away to keep reading the comments.

“I enlisted in the navy-” Clay didn’t even get the full sentence out before Logan had thrown the phone down on the cushion next to him and Finn covered his mouth with his hand looking shocked.

“YOU DID WHAT?”

“Mama!” Leo hugs Eloise tightly as she drops her bags to hug him back. “How was the flight?” He squeezes her tightly before noticing her new hearing aid is flashing is three blinks then a pause and three more blinks. “I think your hearing aid is dying. Make sure to charge them when we get home.” She either ignores him or doesn’t hear him even though she can normally hear him this close.

“Rick was a great pilot as always, even let me bring y’all some moonshine he made. It's watermelon and raspberry!.” Eloise pulls away after one last squeeze and sees Reg and her smile widens. “Reg! I’m so happy you’re here!” She waits for him to open his arms as an invitation to hug him so she knows he is comfortable with her touching him and she does as soon as he opens his arms. Tighter than she did Leo. “Have you been eating well? How about sleeping? Did you ever enroll in college?”

“Yes, yes and yes.” Reg can’t help but laugh when she picks him up still hugging him and sways him around. He isn’t used to this much affection from a mother figure but… they love it.

“I’m so proud of you for following your dream.” She pulls away and smiles at him with a sincere smile and brushes his hair back. “Your hair looks nice by the way.”

“Thank you.” Reg and Leo help her with her bags and pack them into the truck and drive the short way back to the apartment. Talking about everything and anything. The door man sends a wink Eloise’s way and she holds up her left hand where her wedding ring is. Letting him know she is taken. Walking up to the apartment they smell an odd smell through the door and everyone shares a look.

“I promise it doesn't normally smell this way unless… oh no.”

“What does that mean!?” She leans over to Reg to whisper as Leo fiddles with his key in the lock.

“It means Finn and Logan tried to cook something.” Reg whispers to Eloise as Leo opens the door, Clay was the first to greet them, smiling his million dollar smile he hugs Elosie so tight it surprises her.

“Hello Bluebell! I was surprised I didn’t see you at the airport. How are you doing sweetheart! Twenty years old today! You’re all growing up so fast.” She kisses his forehead and they pull apart. “You look good. Your mother wants you to call her later tonight so she can sing happy birthday.”

“It's your birthday!” Noelle pipes up and looks at Clay offended. “And you didn’t tell us!” He cringes before turning to her.

“Oh, I guess I forgot.” He walks over to her and kisses her cheek while Eloise puts her hand on her chest from just how cute they are.

“Seems like that should have been the first thing you told us this morning instead of, ‘ I feel like a jellyfish’.” Thomas laughs a little and kisses both Noelle and Clay’s cheeks. “So cute.”

“It slipped my mind!”

“Okay, what is that smell?” Leo leads Eloise towards the kitchen after she is done fawning over how cute those three are. Finn and Logan are suspiciously standing in the way of the countertop right next to the stove. “What are you hiding?”

Finn turns bright red and Logan looks anywhere but Leo. Eloise sets her purse on the counter and walks over to them, giving them both kisses on the cheek.

“What did you make us?”

“Well… we tried to make a cake from your cookbook-”

“It didn’t go very well.” They both move to the side to reveal a lopsided cake with some diluted frosting dripping off and random coconut flakes floating around on it. “Can you at least tell what it is?” Logan casually turned the plate so the ‘good side’ was facing Leo and Eloise.

“Umm… not really. Do you mind just telling us?” Eliose was examining the cake, trying to figure out what cinnamon cake she had in her cookbook. None that she can remember.

“Something called,” Finn walks over to the book and notices Clay and Reg standing to the side with their phones up and probably recording. “Divinity Cake.” The room was suddenly really still and quiet. Eloise looked like she was about to cry and Leo was just staring at the cake in shock.

Then Eloise brokedown in laughter, to the point where she was laughing so hard she was on the ground holding her stomach and crying. Finn and Logan were visibly confused and looked to Leo for an explanation, only to find him trying to conceal his laughter in the crooks of his arm.

“Oh my god! What is so funny?” Logan looks at the cookbook and then back at the cake. It looked terrible but they tried their best! They didn’t burn the house down at least.

“Oh my lovely lovely boys.” Leo wraps an arm around both their shoulders and pulls them in close so they are all cheek to cheek for a moment. “Divinity cake is usually cooked for your in-laws in the south.. To prove you are worthy of being a good wife.” explains through his laughing breaks. “This is amazing.”

Eloise eventually stands up and dabs her eyes so she doesn’t smear her makeup. Pulling the two embarrassed boys into a tight hug. “Y’all are so sweet. Thank you for the cake.” She gives them both sloppy kisses on the cheeks and then pats where she just kissed. “Alright I’m going to put my things in the guest room and then we can cook something up for y’all to eat.” She smiles and takes most of her bags to the guest room but forgets her purse. “Finn, would you be a dear and grab my purse for me?” She calls out and Finn being the sweetheart he is, grabs the bag and tries to take it with him as he walks past.

The bag won’t budge, Leo is watching with a smile on his face and his arms crossed. Finn tugs at the bag again and eventually gets it off the counter, it nearly knocks him over with how heavy it is. He scurried to Eloise’s room and gave it to her. She holds it like it’s nothing.

He makes his way back over to Leo and sinks into his chest, his face buried in his neck. Logan is still poking the cake, showing off just how gelatinous it is. Clay and Reg are comparing videos that they took and laughing at how they zoomed in on different faces. Sending them to each other.

“I’m sorry we messed up the cake.” Finn looks up at Leo and sees the sweetest little smile, showing his dimples off. Finn has noticed Leo’s tan from the summer is fading and it is making the small scar across his nose more prominent. It was cute.

“Honestly, it’s better than anything else y’all have made. Plus, now Mama can teach you how to make it the right way for the next time she visits.” Leo kisses his eyebrow and wraps his arms around him as Finn pouts even more. Logan eventually makes his way over and rests his head on Leo’s shoulder.

“Maybe it still tastes good?” He closes his eyes and rubs his cheek on Leo’s soft shirt and tough shoulder, massaging his jaw muscles. His arms are crossed.

“We can try it afte Mama and I make some food, how about y’all pick out what you want so she can put on her mini cooking show.” Leo feels the boys lean off of him and smiles as he watches them pour over each page of the book looking for a meal they want.

“Alright, I’m ready to cook.” Eloise comes back into the room and gathers everyone so they are sitting on the other side of the counter, unless they are Reg or Leo because they are allowed to help cook. Finn and Noelle have taken the two seats while Clay and Thomas are on either side of them watching and Logan is in between them.

They all watch as Eloise explains what she is doing in hopes it helps them understand and make them want to try and make this on their own. Logan gets in trouble for focusing on Leo instead of what she is teaching and she gives him a smirk.

“You remind me a lot of Wyatt, you know that? Around the same height too.” She smiles as she fiddles with her ring after she washed her hands to get the rest of the flour off her hands. Leo is watching the food in the oven as he leans against the counter and nods in agreement with her.

“I do?” Logan looks at her a little confused, he sadly never got the chance to meet Wyatt but he always pictured him as more of the strong and silent type who was also tall, giving Leo his extra few inches of height.

“He was 5’10 and the sweetest man I have ever met, he was goofy and carefree like Finn and always had this hard look in his eyes like you do. Unless he was looking at Leo or I, or in your case Leo. Please don’t look at me like that.” Leo snorts and smiles.

“That would be kinda weird.” He turns his head over his shoulder and smiles at his boys. “Why don’t we tell them some stories about dad? I never really talk about him because… well, it still hurts.” Eloise smiles a little sad at her son and gives his arm a comforting squeeze. Her love language.

“Well, he was in the air force.” She notices Clay looking away, Noelle suddenly looks uncomfortable and Thomas looks a little sad. Something was off. “He and his twin brother Wess joined at the same time, and flew fighter jets together. His brother was shot down and Wyatt made Leo promise to never join. After he came back he vowed to never leave again. He kept his promise.” She smiles at the image of him coming home still fresh in her mind. “He was in love with music, sometimes I think he loved music more than us. He tried to get Leo to learn how to play instruments but the poor boy is so tone deaf he couldn’t figure anything out.” She laughs a little as Leo smiles. “I remember when Leo was being taught the guitar Wyatt would be thrown into laughing fits when Leo would play the wrong chords and smile up at him like he just did something.”

“I thought I did!” Leo laughs a little and turns around to face everyone else. “Look It took me forever to learn rhythm, and now I can dance like there is no tomorrow… still can’t sing though.”

“Ahmen!” Clay pipes up and ducks as Leo throws a spoon at him.

“Shut up!”

“Wyatt did manage to teach Clay how to play fiddle somehow, do you still play?” Eloise checks the food in the oven and determines it's not done.

“I haven’t played since… yeah I haven’t played in a while.”

“He was so proud of you. Wyatt was also a sportsman. He loved sports, especially baseball. So when Leo came home and told Wyatt he joined the team, they went out back and played catch for, I don’t know, hours.”

“My arm was sore the next day.”

“He came to every single game of Leo’s besides one, and was his biggest fan. He made shirts with Leo’s player picture on them and wore them to every game. No matter how many times Leo begged him not to!” The timer goes off and Reg gets the food out of the oven.

“Is this done?” He asks, Eloise comes over to check and nods.

“Looks good! How about we eat?” She smiles and has everyone line up so she can dish it out for them.

Thomas and Noelle are getting ready to leave when Eloise asks Clay to join her outside. He gives them a worried look but follows her. Outside is cold, and there is a bit of snow on the railing of the balcony.

“Talk to me Clayton, something is wrong, I noticed it earlier.” She looks at him and taps her foot as he pulls out a cigarette and lights it. “Clayton.”

“I joined the navy, and I haven’t told Leo, and I ask that you don’t tell him either because he needs to hear this from me.” He is looking out at the traffic below so he doesn’t have to watch her face. He knows she is upset with him.

“Is that what you really want to do?” She walks up next to him and joins him in looking at the traffic. Clay has always admired how strong Eloise is, she has been through a hell of a lot and still has this calm and stable energy.

“Yes.”

“Then you made the right choice.” She turns and looks at him, smiling in a way that he knows is trying to hide her sadness. She ruffles his hair as he finishes his cig and puts it out on the bottom of his boot. “Have you told Noelle and Thomas?”

“Yeah.” He knows his short answers sound hostile but he wants to be away from this conversation.

“They support you?” She always makes sure he has support, it hurts sometimes. Like he can’t just get support himself and he always needs help.

“Yes.” She nods and walks back towards the door.

“Then you better spend as much time with them as you can.” She goes inside, leaving Clay to think about everything by himself.

It was dangerous.

He walks back inside and they leave. Noelle turns around from the passenger seat and smirks at Clay. He was in for a fun night.

“I’m off to bed boys, we have a busy day tomorrow!” Elosie kisses her boy's cheeks and walks to her room.

“I like you mom.” Logan says as he tackles Leo to the ground straddling his back with his scented markets in hand. He tugs at Leo’s shirt, he complies and takes it off. Logan has been dying to do this all day.

“I hope not too much!” Leo crosses his arms under his head until Finn sits down next to him and he pulls his thigh so it's underneath Leo’s head. Leo shivers as the cold marker hits his skin and Logan begins coloring.

“What other stories do you have about Wyatt?” Finn rubs his fingers over Leo’s short hair that has really grown out over the past month, it was starting to curl at the ends making Leo look sweet.

“He used to read to me when I was little, then when I was able to read I would read to him until he fell asleep and started snoring.” Leo smiles and Finn can feel it on his leg. “He was also my coach for little league baseball for a bit and he was great but not everyone liked that he was my dad. Other parents thought I was getting special treatment. Also he would argue with the umpires and get in trouble!” Leo bursts out laughing and Logan gorans.

“Leoooooooooo! Be still!” Leo calms down and lets Logan keep coloring the flowers of his back piece.

“Sorry sorry, I just remembered when he got kicked out of a game because an umpire called Clay out when he was safe. It was hilarious. He called the umpire a muppet.” Smiling Leo yawns and blinks a few times.

“You can fall asleep, we will wake you up and go to bed when Logan finishes.” Finn is scrolling on his phone and is petting Leo’s head as he feels it get heavier with sleep. Finn looks up at Logan after making sure Leo is asleep.

“We need to tell him we love him.”

“Yeah, we do.” They smile at each other and share a peck before going back to what they were doing.

The next morning Finn and Logan wake up with a Leo sized dent in the bed and not Leo. They wander out to the kitchen and get smacked in the face with the smell of blueberry pancakes. They float into the kitchen and smile at the sight. Eloise has her hair in curlers and is in a thick grey robe and Leo’s sweatpants because she doesn’t own a pair. Her face is free of makeup and it shows how well she has taken care of her skin over the years. She is flipping a couple of pancakes while Leo sips on some apple juice. Just chatting away about the plan for today.

“Okay so after family skate is the party at Pascal and Celeste’s.”

“I won’t be at family skate dear, I have some work to do today.” She puts the last pancake on a plate, making sure that each plate has two, she takes two plates over to the table while Leo carries the other two.

“Ma, you promised me you wouldn’t work while you were here.” He sighs and sets the plates down. He sighs and sits down, not noticing the other two people in the room, he starts poking at his pancakes with his cheek on his hand and elbow on the table. Sulking.

“I know sweetheart but these people are someone who your Daddy tried to sell to for years. They plan to get two mares and then I will be at the party. On time. I promise.” She puts the dishes from cooking in the sink and fills the pancake batter bowl with hot water before grabbing her cup of coffee and walking over to sit next to Leo.

Logan and Finn share a look. They shouldn’t be listening to this.

“Okay but, just please be there towards the beginning of the party. I want to introduce you to my-... the team.” Leo furrows his brow not understanding why he about called the lions his team, when he doesn’t even play hockey.

“I will try my best, Merigold.” She pats his hand and Logan and Finn make their entrance, yawning and stretching as they walk over to the table. “Morning boys.”

“Morning!” Finn smacks a kiss on Leo’s temple as he walks past and Logan does the same, taking their seats and chowing down.

Later that day Eloise was putting her hair in a ponytail as she checked to make sure there were no creases in her uniform. Well, it's not a uniform but what she likes her and Leo to wear when they go to sell.

A black tall-neck turtle neck with long sleeves and tight to the body. Some khaki colored riding pants with tall back socks and brown riding boots. Professional yet comfortable. She was selling to the Malfoy family today, the father is buying these mares for his sons wedding coming up. She is still convinced that they only want their mares because Wyatt is gone, making Knut horses more desirable.

They were in contact with Wyatt for years and were not very nice. She knows she needs to make this sale though. Walking out to the living room to grab her purse she sees Leo moping on the couch by himself. She sighs out of her nose, walking over to him and petting the top of his head.

“I promise I will be there tonight, with moonshine.” She smiles as Leo rolls his eyes.

“I trust you.” Then he stood and gave her good luck and a hug before walking back to his bedroom… not the master bedroom. She takes a deep breath and leaves the apartment.

The rink was cold, Leo was bundled up in his new coat, hat and gloves while rocking his normal jeans and boots. His brand new skates were in hand, not broken in so he was wearing two pairs of tall socks just to help against blisters. Clay actually owned a pair of skates and has been skating since he was younger because he has family in Montana that he would visit for the holidays.

Jerk.

Leo was sitting in Finn's stall just trying to stay warm while he watched Noelle tie one of Clay’s skates and Thomas tie the other. Leo had to admit, he was so happy for Clay, seeing him with that sappy smile makes Leo know that he’s okay. He never smiled like that with Ashley.

Logan walks over to him, completely ready to skate and looking good. He was wearing his favorite well worn sweats and Leo’s new thrifted sweater that was dark green, showing off his eyes. He was wearing his normal cap backwards and Leo has always found it funny that Logan will never wear a hat forwards.

“Ready to get laced up?” Leo nods and holds out a skate to Logan. “You’re very quiet right now, are you that cold?” Leo just narrows his eyes and gives a short nod. Logan shows him how to lace up and once his other skate is on he stands up and nearly falls over.

“This is going to be terrible… is there a dentist nearby? I have a tendency to fall teeth first into the ground.” Licking over his chipped tooth absentmindedly he looks around. There were kids running around in skates and jumping into other players arms. He smiles a bit and rests his elbow on Logan’s head who is wear much more worn down skates so Leo is a fucking giant to him. “You’re the perfect height.”

“Yeah yeah, lets watch you try and walk. Then we can find Finn who I’m guessing is talking to Syd.” Logan helps Leo take a few steps knowing Leo has no balance at all. In skates or not. He has witnessed this name trip over nothing.

“Whose Syd?” Leo starts walking on his own and feels like this isn’t so bad.

“My oldest sister. Aubry is here too. They also play professional hockey. So… don’t get on their bad sides.” Leo stops walking.

“You never mentioned your sisters will be here! I thought I was meeting them when we go to visit your parents in a week! Oh boy… Do they know about you and Finn?” Leo continues walking after Logan grabs his hand and leads him out of the tunnel.

“Yes they know about me and Finn, I told my family first because… well my parents love him and my sisters all had a bet so… yeah. But they don’t know about you because I didn’t know if you were ready for that.” Leo stops him before they completely exit the tunnel and presses him up against the wall, kissing him softly.

“Thank you.” Leo smiles when Logan does and they pull apart to see they are the last out of the tunnel. Walking out Leo stops in front of the ice. “Yo, I don’t know if I have enough ego to let me fall face first onto the ice in front of a whole hockey team yet.”

“What, you aren’t up for the challenge?” Clay skates right up to him, not as seamless as everyone else but still pretty well. He has this challenging look in his eyes and Leo knows exactly what is going to happen. “I knew you weren’t good at everything.” Leo launches himself at LCay who skates out of the way just in time for Leo to miss and barely holds himself up as he glides across the ice.

“Clay! When I get my hands on you, I swear!” Then he falls flat on his ass and gorans laying down, staring at the ceiling annoyed. This sucks.

Clay is having an absolute field day, Laughing his ass off as he skates up to Leo and helps him stand. Patting his back for a moment and letting Leo get his balance he then pushes him over and skates away.

“CLAYTON!” Leo falls basically into a middle split and it distracts Finn from his conversation with Logan and his sisters, hitting Logan’s chest until he looks over at Leo who is still being taunted by Clay and now Reg.

“I didn’t know he could do that.” They share a look and both seem to get ideas around the same time because their faces get all reg and they high five.

“Who is that?” Sydney is readjusting her hat as she looks at Leo. “He’s a cutie, I wouldn’t mind getting a piece of that.”

“Agreed. He is really handsome.” Aubry nods in agreement and Logan is suddenly possessive. He glares at them.

“Back off, he’s mine!” He crosses his arms and turns his attention back to Leo who is now talking to Katie who has made herself at home on his leg. Leo looks like he is trying his best not to shake from how cold he is.

“You have Finn, let us have our fun.” Aubrey hits his shoulder and skates over to Leo and Katie. “Need some help?” Katie smiles at her. Leo looks up at her and gives a shy smile because he is embarrassed. Nodding she holds out her hand, Katie grabs his other hand and helps him up. With Katie on one side and Aubry on the other, Leo starts more skating and less falling over.

“Awww they are so cuteeeee.” Sydney smiles at them and hears Logan grumble, looking at them annoyed and Finn is still snorting everytime Leo stumbles. But Finn has this look in his eyes that Sydney has only ever seen him give Logan. She hopes there isn’t anything shady going on between those three.

Eventually, Aubry and Leo stake back over to Finn, Logan and Sydeny who are all still chatting on the ice and sipping their hot chocolate that Celeste brought.

“Can I have a sip?” Logan holds up his cup over his shoulder to Leo’s lips, because Leo is behind him, and holds it as he takes a sip. “Mm, so yummy. I’ve never really had this before. Hot chocolate?” Leo doesn’t really drink warm drinks at all, even the coffee is normally cooled down to where it isn’t hot, sometimes iced.

“You should have Finn make you some, he is really good at it.” Finn kisses Logan's forehead and smiles.

“It’s like the one thing I learned how to make properly. Alex taught me! He is coming to the party later tonight if you want to meet him.”

“I’d love to meet him! Now, I’ve met Aubry. I’m guessing you are Sydney? Logan talks about you guys sometimes but I don’t know a lot.” Leo smiles at her and reaches his hand out to shake hers.

“You have a southern accent…” Aubry and her share a look.

Logan is definitely not keeping him from them.

[wandasleftshoe]

Too Young Too Burn

Mobius x Female Reader

A/N: so my account was deleted lmao and this is a re-upload. this post was originally getting some likes so I decided to repost it, and hopefully this time my stuff doesn’t wack out. But for first time readers, this is my first ever fic lol! I was cracked out on nicotine and red bull when I wrote it, so it might be all over the place. alsooooo if any of u like this, I turned on my asks so feel free to request something! I’ll do any Marvel character, male/female/gender neutral, so feel free to ask lol turns out I enjoy writing

Word Count: 2.5k 

Triggers: bad language, kinda sort angst, a tragedy ending in suicide, death

It started off as a simple school boy crush.

She was a new member to the office, a new analyst that would train alongside Mobius, nothing was supposed to come of it but a friendly coworker relationship. (The only kind of relationship allowed in the office, the Time Lizards have sticks up their asses.) The first day he met her, she was in a standard TVA uniform, beige slacks and a button up shirt of another drab color. Though when she entered the room, an air of confidence came with her, sweeping him off his feet like something out of a Midgard fairytale. She was introduced to him as [y/n] [y/l], newest to the TVA’s section of analysts, preferring to study dangerous variants, much like himself. He was immediately taken by her attention to detail, he felt her eyes studying him the entire time his bosses boss introduced them to each other.

Her attention to detail, as mentioned before, was brought to his attention when she mentioned his hands fiddling with the hem of his blazer. She noted that he didn’t give off a nervous energy, but with the way his hands were going you would have thought that the boss had caught him doing something he wasn’t supposed to. As they continued their conversation, more and more was pointed out that he didn’t even notice himself; she seemed to be a perfect fit for his team.

Their first day consisted of standard paperwork and the general office tour, Mobius introduced her to his boss, Ravonna Renslayer, as well as a strew of other office members they pasted in the hall that Mobius could remember a name for. Let’s be real, he just rambled on so that he could try to forget how kindly she smiled at him and how her eyes twinkled when talking about the job at hand. He thought if he could get past the first day and the excitement of gaining a new coworker, the odd feeling creeping into his heart would go away.

As the day went on and he got to know his new coworker better, he believed the relationship would grow into an unstoppable workforce bond. As the nice coworker he is and to start this unstoppable force off right, he offered to buy her dinner at a restaurant not far from the office (totally not to hang out with her for a little while longer). The time they spent both at the office and eating dinner, Mobius couldn’t quite help but find this new girl fascinating and for lack of a better term, lovely.

But it was just a school boy crush, right?

Time went on, sooner rather than later, Mobius and [y/n] found themselves working together quite often on cases. New cases left and right, most of them being Loki variants, surprise surprise. The more difficult they grew, the more time Mobius spent with the (not so) new girl. Between late nights in the office and many almost death situations, the two found themselves becoming close friends amongst the sea of the neverending bureaucracy. Though still as before, he felt that odd feeling in his heart growing stronger each time she brought him his coffee just the way he liked it or added fuel to his jetski fantasies.

What solidified that feeling in his chest was the night he and [y/n] went on a smaller mission by themselves, July 29th, 1890.

It was a clear night, though somber, both knowing what was supposed to happen. The air was warm and the moon was shining bright over the quiet fields of Auvers-sur-Oise. No, they weren’t looking for a variant of Vincent, he did indeed die tragically in this nexus event. No, no, they were looking for the person who burned all of his paintings in a rage, hence throwing off the timeline. Without the paintings, no memory of Van Gogh would be left for the future, and that’s not how the Time Lizards wanted it to be. So they were there, under the melancholy skies of France.

It was taking longer than planned, they ended up having to spend the night in an old cabin near the edge of the old town. A slow fire burned in the den of the cabin where [y/n] was reading, while Mobius was trying to find some sort of food to keep the two of them from going to bed with their stomachs rumbling. To no avail, there was nothing in the abandoned cabin so he gave in and entered the den of the cabin. There, he was met with the serene and abnormally domestic [y/n] in front of him. Usually the new girl was like a chicken with it’s head cut off; running around the office to put her wild theories to the test or just the general hectic vibe that went along with their job that made her hair stick out on all sides of her head from her running her hands through it in frustration. But this scene sitting quietly in front of him was something he didn’t know he wanted in his life. She was sitting on the ancient furniture with a book in her hands, hair down and surrounding her face in a way that made his heart palpitate. She was relaxed for once, not an ounce of stress weighing on her shoulders as she immersed herself in the world of whatever book she found on the old shelves. He could even see that her work shirt was untucked and her shoes were off, showing off her mix matched socks. He didn’t even know mix matched socks were a thing, but she pulled them off perfectly.

She looked up when he hadn’t said anything for a solid 4 and a half minutes, he was too busy taking in the scene in front of him to notice he was just open mouth staring at her. It didn’t bother her really, though silence with Mobius around was quite unheard of, so she filled it.

“Suis-je trop vieux pour alimenter cette passion et la laisser me consumer - ou suis-je encore trop jeune pour savoir quels dommages cela fera?”

“I’m sorry, w-what?”

“Am I too old to throw fuel onto this passion and let it consume me — or am I still too young to know what damage that will do?” She said again, in english this time. She knew he could understand her, everyone in the TVA could speak and understand a multitude of languages. She just wanted to see what his reaction would be when she said it to him. “It’s a quote from this diary. The person who wrote it was in their mid 20s when they did this entry, they’re writing of their partner. They were in love, but poor and couldn’t afford to be married. The writer got an offer to marry into a wealthy family, but they turned it down, hoping for everything to work out in the end.”

The explanation of the words she spoke before hit Mobius a little harder than they should have, the author of the diary was caught between a rock and hard place. Much like he found himself in right now, even if he refused to believe it before tonight. Seeing the domestic life he could have right in front of him made his head spin, his heart hurt, and his love for his job lessen a bit. He was grateful to the Time Lizards for creating him, for giving him the life he has in the TVA, but seeing what life could be like on Earth startled him. He didn’t know he wanted it until it was right in front of him, taunting him like a cat chasing a laser light. A life on Earth, with the girl sitting right in front of him; that was all he wanted. Jetski be damned (not really, he would love to have a jetski alongside this lifestyle). Even if he couldn’t live a normal life on the Sacred Timeline, he wanted to be with her. After all this time getting to know her and the little details of her soul between official meetings and paperwork piles, he finally realized what that feeling was in this moment.

But he knew it could never happen. Not here, not in the TVA. It simply wasn’t allowed. So he swallowed his feelings, but he never forgot that sweet, peaceful night. They talked, laughed, and even cried together that night, both of them tucking that memory in their hearts and reliving it in times when they most missed the feeling they didn’t know they could miss.

Again, time passed from that night in France, they did eventually catch the variant and reset the timeline. After, they only grew closer as the late nighter grew later and newer, tougher missions appeared on their radar. Their biggest being the Loki variant killing more and more Minute Men, and the case was beginning to take a turn. They brought in a new Loki variant, one front 2012 just after the attack on New York. He was cunning and a very good liar, but he grew on both Mobius and [y/n]. It wasn’t long before they actually found the dangerous Loki variant with 2012 Loki on their side, but he betrayed them and followed the other Loki into the portal, losing both a friend and a lead.

This devastated Mobius, it was his last chance to prove to the Time Lizards that their Loki could be trusted, that he was changing and doing good for the TVA. But he’s a Loki, and they all should have guessed something was going to happen. But they guessed what would happen next.

They found the two variants, out of sheer luck in the Lamentis apocalypse. When both were brought in, it wasn't long before all hell let loose. Mobius found out the TVA was actually just made up of variants, they were all variants, and none of this was what it had been told to them. It was all lies. At first it gutted him, he didn’t believe Loki, but after some snooping, he found out they weren’t lying. Then, hope sparked in his chest. Life without the TVA meant, eventually, he could live out his domestic dream. With the girl of his dreams, [y/n].

With the (fragile) trust in Loki and hope in his heart for a new life with [y/n], he flew into action. He busted Loki out of the loop he had originally put him in, and swapping his Tempad with Renslayer, he now had the proof that Loki was telling the truth. With this renewed faith in his friend, he was going to expose the truth to everyone. They had a right to know, they had a right to their former memories. They had a right to free will.

Only, he didn’t get that far. Suddenly, he and Loki were being escorted to Renslayers office. If there’s one thing about Mobius, he had good intuition, and the feeling he had in his gut was telling him something was very wrong. Of course Renslayer knew he switched their Tempads, he knew he wouldn’t have much time, but it felt like only a matter of minutes before he was caught. He didn’t even have time to go find [y/n] and explain to her what was going on, he didn’t have time to tell her his feelings, and he knew he was going to get pruned if Renslayer found out before he could spread the truth.

But once he stepped into Renslayer’s office, the feeling in his gut froze, sending goosebumps all over his body.

Not only were he and Loki standing in the middle of her office, but so was [y/n]. She was thrashing against G-17, who had her in a chokehold. The scene made his blood boil, [y/n] had no idea what was going on, she was innocent. The thought of anything happening to her gutted him, he wasn’t going to let that happen.

“I uh, I think I grabbed yours by mistake,” he starts out, trying to get out of this smoothly, but he knew Renslayer was going to take that obvious lie, he was no god of mischief. She gave him a cold look that only the devil himself could forge, and ordered D-90 to take the Tempad from him, shaking her head at Mobius in disappointment.

“Mobius, what’s going on?” [y/n] asked, her voice wasn’t faltering, but her usually confident demeanor was gone. She was worried, she knew something bad was going to happen, she knew something was going on with the two variants, it just hadn’t been disclosed how fucked the situation was. All Mobius wanted to do was take her away from this place and tell her what she meant to him. Before anything could happen to him.

“Tell her, Mobius. Tell her how you’ve betrayed the TVA and joined forces with the two Loki Variants. Tell her how you betrayed her trust,” Renslayer says with a silver tongue, looking coldly at not only Loki (the usual) but also Mobius, a look he’s never received from her before on any other occasion than a joke. He could feel his time ticking away, he could only stall so much and there was nothing left to stall. All he had was the truth.

“Look, [y/n], they’re all lying to us. We’re all variants, all of us, they took us from the Timeline. This place- this place isn’t what we think it is.” He says, begging her with his voice to believe him. In all the time they’ve known each other, this is the first time he’s begged her. Though he didn’t need to, [y/n] trusted Mobius with her whole being. Time and time again, she’s saved his ass and he hers. They were bonded in a way she didn’t know was humanly possible, she knew he wouldn’t lie to her. She felt it in her soul he was telling the truth.

“I believe you.” Her voice was soft, even in this terrifying moment, she still found a way to calm him with a gentle smile even as she was being held by the throat.

But that was all taken away when he saw the pointed end of the pruning stick going through her. A guttural roar that escaped him was animalistic, loud enough that surely the entirety of the TVA heard it. Her body was thrown to the ground by D-90, and it took every Minute Men in the room to hold Mobius back from Renslayer. That was it, his whole future ripped away from him right before his eyes, and he didn’t even get to tell her every secret feeling he held for her. No promises of the future they could have together without the TVA. There was nothing left.

He didn’t even hear Renslayer telling one of the Minute Men to prune him through his weeping, and before he knew it, a searing pain took over him.

[rynnaaurelius]

Writing Updates

-So this post isn’t gonna be very long, if only because I just finished blocking out everything (Or as much as I can, before the characters flip me the bird and do what they want).

-Just a “Here’s where we’re at” thing, as much to keep me accountable beyond incomprehensible outline notes, as to entertain people.

(Uh, warnings for spoiler-esque things? Nothing big, though if you’re not done reading through a series, beware)

Sing, O Muse (Of Heroes Once More) (Time travel ‘verse):

-So this chapter’s looking like it might be a bit shorter than I’ve recently (ha) been putting out? Not for lack of things to do, but how it’s plotted now has a pretty clearly defined endpoint. This may or may not mean I post sooner. We’ll see.

-Basically, it’s got three sections: First one to establish the time jump between Ch. 3 and this one (As well as give Annabeth some grounding), second one to establish our questing trio in her, Clarisse, and Silena--as well as play around with the Golden Fleece quest a bit--, and the third one is. . .well.

-One word: Reyna.

-It’s also Annabeth’s POV, which is fun. Her feelings about Percy are complicated, though, fucking hell. Not that I blame the girl.

-Silena was not convinced to turn spy by Luke, for obvious reasons. Doesn’t stop her from having complicated feelings with the whole building war thing, and she’s difficult to nail down.

-I know there’s not a lot of Leo mentioned here, especially after his dramatic entrance last chapter, but I swear he’s relevant and important, it’s just not something directly connected to Annabeth’s plotline right now.

-Context-less Snippet: “How’s the ship, Captain Chase?  Crew still loyal enough and dead enough for you?”

-What I’m currently listening to for this chapter, because I can and should inflict my questionable music tastes on everyone: “Avalanche” (Thomas Bergersen)

The One Where Percy is a Magician of Questionable Competence (Magician!Percy ‘verse):

-Some days, I really regret naming this universe what I did in the name of validating my own cleverness. Mostly when I have to type it out again

-Anyway. This is the Training MontageTM chapter where Percy learns how to use a sword. As well as the one where Percy begins to unlock Annabeth’s Tragic BackstoryTM.

-But that’s after Amos, Carter, and Zia show up ready to kick ass and take names, only to find a sleep-deprived Sadie and Percy sharing looks and going, “. . .knew we forgot something.”

-Also a three section chapter. The first one consists of Brooklyn House being chaotic idiots because I love them--with a side of Percy lying/having an identity-crisis, plus a healthy dose of angst on the Amos front--the second one is the Nico update.

-He’s not having a great time, guys

-This is the last bit before the time jump, Kronos is an asshole, and Setne is the worst.

-But Nico’s still calling him Uncle Vinnie which is funny, at least.

-Anyway Nico “joins” the Titans. I’m not sure if it really counts when you’re a traumatized, grieving child with an evil ghost promising you your dead sister back/a Titan is threatening to destroy you, but there you go.

-Then it’s a time jump, so we can see Percy getting his ass handed to him by Clarisse a month later.

-*jazz hands* Training Montage!

-So Percy’s having a marginally better time at camp. Annabeth’s still half-convinced she should kill him, but she also likes him against her will, so that’s a net win, in Percy’s book.

-Oh yeah, there’s also Tragic Backstory unlocking, which is made more interesting by the whole “The Greeks got the shit beaten out of them” thing I’ve got going on in this ‘verse.

-Context-less bit:

“So. You are to be the child of the prophecy?” Nico di Angelo stared up at Kronos and back at Vinnie, who gave him a grin and thumbs-up.

-Yes, they’re literally that one How To Train Your Dragon meme, no, I don’t have regrets

-Music to be inflicted upon you all for this chapter: Child and the Guardian Angel (Peter Roe)

-This round of writing’s going to be fun, because this is where the next part of the story truly kicks into high gear.

[gra-sonas]

Hey! I hate to ask this, you already do so much for us! But would you mind just a tiny recap of Vlamis’ live from last night? You don’t have to go into a ton of detail or anything, I just saw that it was a half hour long. I have a weird anxiety thing that keeps me from watching lives and stories for the most. Still haven’t even been able to work myself up to watching the vlamburn one as much as I’d love to! 🙁

Either way, thank you for everything!

Okay, nonnie. I went and watched the whole thing again and wrote you a detailed account of what’s been said. I’ll link the live again, then you can watch here if you want to. Or not. Up to you. 🤗 Hope this helps. 💕

Brushing his teeth and flossing for 3 minutes while talking.

800 new follower lately “where have you been before?”

“Do you do anything to your hair at night?” He adds Moroccan hair oil in the morning, nothing at night.

“What’s your favorite of the drop?” He hasn’t seen everything from the drop (like the COSMIC tie-dye) bc he’s in Santa Fe. He loves the COSMIC and MALEX embroidered things (“so subtle”) bc they are in Vlamburn’s handwriting, he loves the Manesqueeze shirt bc you can make Alex and Michael kiss by putting your wrists together. He *loves* the candle (there’s one burning on his bedside table), the silky PJs are great, but he can’t decide on just one favorite thing.

“How’s Jesa’s sanity?” She needs like 3 weeks of sleep. He explains, that while we *are* the Vlambase, the Vlambase merch company’s just Jesa and Vlamis. Jesa has a team, but all the day-to-day things, ideas, emails/customer service (Jesa), the newsletter (Vlamis). They hadn’t collaborated with anyone before Tyler, so working with him was a new experience. 

One fan mentions how they wanted to buy stuff but couldn’t. Vlamis says that he’s been there, and when he wanted something in the past he couldn’t afford, he started putting away a Dollar a day. 

“Thought on One Direction?” Vlamis is a Harry Styles guy. “Harry Styles’ swagger is next level!”

“What do you think about Russia? Will Vlambase merch be available here?” Talks a bit about how annoying things are with shipping companies, says they wanted to protect themselves for the holidays, and now that the Christmas rush is over, some shipping options have become available again. 

“Who came up with  MANESQUEEZE” He ponders about it, and settles on Jesa. It was Vlamis’s ides to put tiny Alex and tiny Michael on the sleeves so that they can kiss tho. And Tyler came up with the idea to put a “toupee” on his head (in a previous drop, the NEVER LOOK AWAY design had tiny Alex and tiny Michael on the sleeves, but poor Alex was bald) for the design.

Someone got a MALEX pin and the candle. He knows the pin sold out fast, and he feels bad about that. They want everyone to get everything they want, but it’s difficult to make proper calculations how well an item will sell. The pandemic made things even harder. Like the PJ sets. Normally, they would wait until the sale ends and see how many sets were actually ordered, but during the pandemic, stock listings have been changing dramatically from day to day, so they had to pre-order the PJs and robes to make sure they had a certain number at their disposal. He said that they “overshot” on a couple of things, but ultimately sales have been great, and he appreciates that.

“I’m excited to make the MANESQUEEZE doodles kiss bc I do that with the NEVER LOOK AWAY shirt” Vlamis jumps up and shows his closet that’s full of Vlambase merch items.

“Why am I here, it’s almost 3am” He mentions that he’s been staying up until 4 in the past couple of days, but he has to be on set in 7 or 8 hours. 

“Hello, just wanted to let you know that I got a tattoo for you” Vlamis asks for a photo and to be tagged.

“Kyle the packer [Vlamis’s roomie KA, who works in the warehouse when a new drop is ready for shipping]” Vlamis says they’re working him to death.

“Please save this live” He doesn’t know whether he’ll save it. Thinks the one with Tyler was important, but since it’s just him, he doesn’t think it’s important.

“I followed Jesa, Jesa is the real MVP” Vlamis says that Jesa is “a beast, and best in the game”. Quickly explains who Jesa is, and that she’s his partner in the Vlambase merch company. He mentions that she recently called him with an idea for Valentine’s Day, and he was like “Jesa, we need to relax!” But she loved the idea. She’s a big fan of RNM and the characters (and Tyler). “Jesa’s amazing.”

“What about new Soli art [Soli’s the artist who created the Boys Will Be Boys art for a previous drop]?” Vlamis smiles. “What about new Soli art. I like that idea. 😏“

“Your house [in New Mexico] is so cute.” Vlamis says thank you and shows the ceiling of the house (which he likes best). “Santa Fe is dope!”

“I adore your teeth” *shows his teeth* Says he had to wear braces (some even adjustable)

“I could’ve used my birthday money to buy something but I forgot” 🤨 << Vlamis’s face. “How you you forget, man?”

“Back to Twitter after this live” He mentions that he’d just been on Twitter before the live.

He got retweeted by Mountain Dew and loves it.

“I’m from Australia and hope my merch arrives before winter” Vlamis says he hopes shipping will be fast. 

“Love the Valentines” They’re not actually Valentines, hence they’re “Love Notes”.  Vlamis considers doing them not just around Valentine’s Day. 

“You catch any of the CW shows returning this month?” “Might have to” But he knows what he’ll be catching on the 12th. “Prodigal Son, baby!”

“Where did you get the Game Boys?” Those are his Game Boys. He has a Game Boy Advanced and a Game Boy Color. 

“How do you feel about Forlex?” *scoffs* 😒 “Yeah” 

“So excited for the robe!” Vlamis gets excited. “The robes and the PJs are so comfy!” Talks about how it’s a bit weird, bc they don’t make them themselves.

Several people mention that their closet looks like his closet bc of all the merch and he loves that. 

“How do you feel about Forlex” *gets agitated* “Why are you asking me this? Don’t do that to me, alright?” *softer* “Don’t do that.”

“How are you doing?” He’s doing very well. Very relieved that eh sale went well. This drop was like 3-4 months of work, the night before the sale felt like an entire month, too. Jesa and Vlamis Facetimed for more than 5hrs. They set up the website, and that’s how the glitch with the GIVE ME MALEX OR GIVE ME DEATH shirts and poster happened. They made a mistake and only noticed after the website went live. 

“Do you know when S3 will air?” No, he thought it might’ve been sooner, but apparently not.

“I love your poetry from the last drop so why no poems this time?” He writes poems when he’s inspired, he hasn’t written a poem in a while. He’s currently preparing to direct his first movie in June 2021, and he’s been very focused on that. 

“The Meet & Greet day changed.”  Filming schedule changed bc they had snow, the schedule’s changing constantly. He’ll be set all day tomorrow (well, today, Jan 11) from 8am until 8 or 9pm. Sometimes they might even wake up in the morning and learn that the schedule’s been changed. 

 “You could talk about nothing and we’d still watch.” He doesn’t want to talk about nothing, wonders if anyone has any questions about the sale.

“I’m so excited about the robe. I was going to buy more but I’m broke.” He says we should be responsible.

Someone’s still waiting about their Black Friday stuff, but he says it’s the shipping company, not them. 

“Vlamentines" He *loves* that, thinks it’s a good pun. 

“Gotta support Aurora.” Always. 🥰

“Jealous Guerin in S3?” You’ll see, you’ll see.

“I placed 3 orders, last one last night. Give me Malex or give me death.” He loves it. He also mentions, that they’re working hard on figuring out how to combine orders in the future so people don’t have to pay for shipping several times. They just can’t do that logistically at the moment. 

“Real talk, how often do you check your DMs?” He says, that some people might’ve noticed that he occasionally likes random photos on people’s IG pages. When that happens, it’s a sign that he read someone’s DM. He feels bad when he checks his mentions with a delay, and people’s stories have already vanished after 24hours. He sometimes doesn’t get to checking DMs for a week.

“Will we ever get the original pic of the kiss recreation?” *smiles* *waggles his eyebrows* “Maybe in the morning”

“So happy the Trevor Project was chosen for this merch drop!” He’s very happy, too. According to him, it was a no-brainer. Tyler’s worked with them in the past, so it made even more sense. They wanted to make sure that Tyler felt very strongly about wherever they’d be donating. 

People urge him to go to sleep. “You want me to go to bed?” 

“Why is your merch not available in India?” *deep breath* “It should be, it’s ridiculous. Unbelievable.”

“Your poetry was awesome.” He appreciates the praise and promises to write some more poetry. 

Someone asks whether the movie he’ll be directing in June will be a comedy, but he says it’s the opposite. He’s mentioned in the past that Aurora and him will both act in the movie, but apparently he forgot about that. He doesn’t want to jinx the movie and doesn’t know how much he should reveal just yet. Talks a bit about 5 Years Apart. 

Someone mentions that it’s Jeanine’s birthday on January 14th. 

“Do (or don?) a face mask, Vlamis.” He refuses. Mentions his friend and roommate Spencer Waldner, who makes face masks.

“If there’s leftover merch, will you do another sale?” He says that most things are actually sold out bc they use Blank Clo’s blanks and will only make what’s been ordered.  They might try to restock some pins tho, bc they went so quickly. 

“USPS are a joke” He defends them. “They’re a public service, they’re trying hard, guys.”

“You should do a Vlambase drop with the Real Vlamis [a.k.a. Jeanie]” He’s excited and thinks it’s a good idea and asks if anyone’d be interested. 

Someone congratulates him on directing his first movie. He points out that he’s directed before (Making It, a 3-part web series, it’s on YouTube).

 “Would you ever come to Australia Comic Con?” He’d love to. Mentions that he’s supposed to be in Paris in May for a convention, but he’s not sure whether that’s gonna happen considering how things are currently going with the pandemic. 

Some more talk about 5 Years Apart.

Circles back to doing a merch drop with Jeanine. People like the idea. 

“Please save this live.” After an IG update, things have changed and he doesn’t know how to do it. In the past he had the option to save it [for 24hrs], now he can only upload it to IGTV. 

“$30 shipping to Australia hurts my soul but I did it anyway.” He appreciates that and mentions, that he lived in Australia for 6 months in the past.

“Sing some Bright Eyes” He thinks his singing would hurt people’s ears. 

Jesa Joy pops up in the chat and urges him to go to bed. 

“Jesa is yelling at you.” Vlamis says that Jesa’s a “yeller”, and that she has a tattoo that says “Don’t yell tho”. He admits that Jesa often yells for a good reason. “I need to be yelled at sometimes.”

Someone asks him to accept a request to join his live. He says he’s pretty tired. 

He says hello to someone from Germany (not me btw :P) “What’s up, Germany ✌️” 

More people ask him to sing, but he says he cannot sing. He says it’s not like a joke  or him being modest, he straight up can’t sing and is a horrible singer. 

“Will there be a sequel to 5 Years Apart?” Maybe a sequel called “10 Years Apart” (he’s joking and visibly tired)

“Should I buy anything before the sale ends?” Yes.

Jesa Joy’s from Michigan, and Vlamis’s grandma’s from Middlesborough, Kentucky.

“Is Tyler singing again?” He doesn’t know. “I hope so. Love that kid’s voice” (Tyler’s 3.5 years older than Vlamis :P)

He’s getting sleepy and will read a little bit before bed. Considers drinking some Mountain Dew. 

“Do you take design ideas.” Sure. Sometimes he sees design ideas from people they’ve been working on for months, but he’s gonna “steal” an idea from someone, he’ll tell them. He’ll steal it, though. 

“Are you still reading SAGA?” He read the first one and is half-way through the second. He’s currently reading a book called “My First Movie” by Stephen Lowenstein. “How cliché.” Aurora got it for him.

Purple Skittles are his favorite. Purple everything.

“Your girlfriend’s the best girlfriend.” She is, she really is.

Asks Jesa Joy whether he should go to bed now.Even though it’s late, he’s hungry. Considers eating something. People tell him to go to bed.

He asks “Should I get naked and put on the PJs?” *waggles eyebrows* “I’M KIDDING, YOU’RE SICK. YOU’RE ALL DISGUSTING.” xD

“Don’t eat!” He laughs.

Says goodbye and says that Jesa’s posted a surprise picture. 

“Any advice for aspiring actors?” Tells them to make their own stuff bc no one’s gonna hire them. (He’s being sarcastic). “It’s dark, but it’s what you need to hear.”

“Okay, love you guys. Thank you again! It was our best sale yet. Means a lot to me. Means a lot to Tyler. Us doing so well might mean that Tyler will work with us again. So I really appreciate it. Okay, I love you all.”

Jesa promises to post the pic in 4 minutes. He’s excited. “See, I got her to do it! The picture is kind of ridiculous.”

*pretends to take off his shirt, stops halfway through* “Noooooo, noooooo, noooooo!”

*throws kiss* “Love you guys, good night.”

[just-call-me-the-intrusive-thot]

Forever Is A Long, Long Time

Pairings: Romantic Logicality

Verse: An Unlikely Suspect (Among Us AU)

TWs: Makeout mention, implied sexual activities, they’re really soft honestly..

Summary: Patton and Logan have been dating for a couple years now, but with only a month til their next voyage on the Skeld, and Logan working overtime to be the best Captain the crew could ask for, they rarely get some alone time. Luckily, Patton has the perfect idea...

(Recommended music: I Wouldn’t Mind by He Is We)

–

One Month before the Skeld Departs: 

Patton excitedly made his way along the corridors of MIRA HQ to reach the cafeteria; he’d been stuck in the greenhouse all morning and early afternoon tending to the needs of the plants and their development cycles, but finally he could spend time with his boyfriend. Logan had been working so tirelessly, Patton couldn’t help but admire his passion and drive. 

After all, the Skeld’s next captain needed to be someone the crew could feel safest with after all. Not that Patton ever believed his boyfriend was incapable, if anything, he believed Logan was already more than qualified for the job. The crew echoed the sentiment as well. But Logan seemed determined to keep working himself into the ground at this rate.

Patton had decided to fix that.

In his backpack rested lunch for the two of them, made ahead of time to spare them the long wait in line, the cyan-clad crewmate merrily continuing his trek to the cafeteria until he could see that familiar silhouette approaching the intersection of the threeway corridor.

“Logan!”, Patton beamed cheerfully, his radiance only matched as Logan turned toward the voice of his beloved. Once they were within touching distance, Logan was more than welcome for the embrace Patton offered.

“Greetings Patton,”, he chuckled, clearly already exhausted, “I apologise for not dropping by sooner-”

“Don’t you go over-working that noggin of yours any more, Logan! You’ve been working hard, so I wanted to surprise you with a homemade lunch!”, he opened his backpack and pulled out the lunchbox he’d prepared when Logan stopped him gently. His hand softly caressed Patton’s, “That sounds wonderful Patton, but I would sooner enjoy it… well… with just the two of us?”, he gestured to the rather full canteen with a quick nod of his head.

Pat noted the red tint cradling Logan’s cheeks, standing out against the collar of his dark blue uniform. Equally flustered by the thought of spending some one on one time with his boyfriend, Patton agreed, “Of-! Of course!! Where um, would you like to-”

“We may do so in my cabin-”, Logan offered, making sure to clarify, “Simply for convenience! I mean, we have work we must be on call for-”

Oh my god, how could someone so tall and handsome look so adorably flustered in an instant? 

Patton giggled, “It’s fine, Logan, lead the way!”

The trip through the halls brimmed with mirth and starlight; Patton’s puns - while Logan maintained they were still awful - never ceased to wrench a fond sigh and a smile from his boyfriend. Once they were comfy in Logan’s cabin, Patton carefully opened up the lunch box to present an array of home cooked goodies; a tub of pasta each, and some mini berry tarts made specially with Crofters Jam. The latter made Logan’s eyes glisten in a way Patton hadn’t seen since their last trip to Earth.

“Starlight,”, Patton nearly melted at the love in Logan’s tone, “Where did you get this? We haven’t been authorised for any recent excursions back to Earth...”

Patton grinned cheekily, “I miiiight have specially asked Remy to get his buddies at the Earth station to beam over some~!”

Logan gasped, “Patton! You know full well-”

“I know, “all snacks and supplies must be given a month in advance to be checked over”, but I always follow protocol every other time I’m manning the loading bay! One little stowaway isn’t gonna get me in trouble. Besides, I wanted to make this really special before your debut as our new Captain!”

A tenseness found its way up Logan’s spine, going easily noticed by Patton. His smile softened into a gentle concern, “....You’re ready, Sunshine. I know it.” An easiness settled on Logan’s shoulders at the nickname, prompting Patton to continue, “It’s scary being in charge, I really, really don’t blame you for being anxious about it, but if anyone can keep us safe, it’s you, Logan.”

Gracefully, Patton softly picked up a blackcurrant tart, softly holding it for Logan to take a bite, earning a flush of rosy pink across the taller man’s cheeks.

“Heck, I trust you with my life, now and forever, Sunshine.”

Logan gave a small huff, but his smile was unwavering as he took a bite of the tart. The delicious homemade filling was nearly as sweet and filling as the love and support Patton offered so readily.

“Forever is a long, long time, Starlight. But I agree.”, he licked his lips, “Your baking never ceases to amaze me, it’s delicious.”

“Well then, I suppose I should try it-”

“Absolutely.”

Without missing a beat, Logan softly set the treat aside and brought Patton in for a kiss. Soft and slow though that changed with a gentle licking of Patton’s lower lip. All of a sudden, the cyan crewmate could taste the berry flavour lingering on Logan’s tongue, letting himself be pulled into Logan’s lap. Their kisses always ended up this way; deep, romantic, full of longing, a scream of “I love you” in every second that melted away. 

Patton let out a small gasp as Logan broke their kiss to trail his lips down Patton’s neck, “Logaaaan… I thought you said-”

“Change of plan.”, he murmured against Patton’s neck, “Turns out I would rather die than be without you for too long.”

He joked, softly meeting Patton’s flushed gaze, “Besides, I am the Captain now, I believe I am allowed to bend the rules a little…”

Patton had no intention of arguing. It wasn’t how he’d planned their time together to go, but hey, the ring in his pocket would just have to wait a little while longer….

----

Part 1 of the An Unlikely Suspect pairing snippets!!

~

It’s so fluffy I almost forgot this canonically happens a month before the events of An Unlikely Suspect and OOF is that a punch to the gut. .... did I still add in a bunch of details that will make you all want to pry off my kneecaps with a spoon? Absolutely.

Here’s the original fic for those who haven’t read it yet! (do heed the tags! and there is a sequel in the works!)

Taglist: @somehow-i-got-an-account   @cateye-glasses   @fandomsofrandom @patton-cake @does-this-look-logicality-to-you @justalittlecorrupted @irritating-lady-knight @katlikethesword

[that-sw-writer]

Prompt #3 was so good!! can you please do a part 2? I love your writing💕💕

Thank you!! And thanks for requesting it, I was meaning to write a part 2 and totally forgot 🥴

I’ve also renamed the series ‘come back to me’

Summary: Kylo isn’t ready to let you go, he’s willing to do anything to bring you back from the brink.

Word count: 2218

Warnings: probably terrible use of medical dialect by me, lost of angst, mentions mental health/trauma, mentions death

PART ONE

MASTERLIST

Come back to me II

It had been a month, and Kylo still felt numb.

He still visited you every day, but there was always that impending sense of doom lurking around you like a dark shroud.  It was just a matter of time before one of the doctors became brave enough to tell their Supreme Leader the harsh truth.

The truth that his wife had been in a coma for a month, that he had sourced the greatest medical professionals in the galaxy and even they couldn't draw you back to consciousness.  You had sustained extensive injuries, and that was before the malnutrition and presumed mental trauma had been taken into account.

Eventually somebody had to speak up.  The medical staff had spent a long time arguing over whose responsibility it was to tell Kylo that he needed to start thinking about letting you go, and eventually they decided to approach him as a pack... after all, the saying was 'safety in numbers.'

When the Chief Medical Officer had given him his two options: let you go, or keep you alive on the basis that you might never wake up, he had said that only by giving your body a chance to sustain itself would you possibly awake; although the chances were extremely slim.  Kylo had simply ordered them all out of the room in an angry fit.

He wanted to demolish the walls with his Saber, but you were laying there so peacefully, he couldn't bring himself to do it.  You had been the source of all of his happiness for so long now, he had no idea how to cope without you - in short, he wasn't coping without you.  He was becoming more and more destructive by the day, especially where the pirates who kidnapped you in the first place were concerned.  He was ruthlessly hunting them down across the the galaxy, following up every lead, every rumour, no stone was left unturned when it came to your captors.  If he couldn't have you, he would at least have their blood as compensation.

Part of his destructive nature was stemming from his own guilt.  If he had just gotten to you sooner, perhaps he would have caught you in time for the medical team to save you.  But he hadn't made it fast enough, in fact the doctors had said that it was a miracle in itself that you had survived, even if you were comatose.  On paper, you should have been dead, but your sheer will to live had kept you going.

Kylo sat by your bedside, and clutched his head in his hands as he tried to process his frustration.  He wondered what you were dreaming about - one of the doctors he had brought in from Coruscant had told him that your brain was still active, and that you were able to dream, as well as possibly register things that were going on around you.

He just hoped that you were dreaming of happier times together, like when you had taken a trip away to Bespin together.  Just the two of you, pretending that you could have a life outside of the First Order, although naturally the Supreme Leader and his wife were two very recognisable faces.  Nevertheless, you had never felt so at peace in one another's company.

You strangely looked at peace now, Kylo thought.  Your features were relaxed and soft, and for what it was worth you were looking in much better health than you had when he and the Knights had brought you back from Bor.

"Please don't let those animals be your finals thoughts, my love."  He quietly urged you.  If you could subconsciously register what was going on around you, he knew you would hear his voice.  "You deserve the galaxy, and I promised I would give it to you.  I'm just sorry I let you down."  Emotion now filled his voice, and he prayed that nobody would come in and see him in such a vulnerable state.  "I will hunt them down and avenge you, that's a promise I can keep."

He knew you better than anyone, and he knew that if you had your way you would be hunting down your kidnappers and getting revenge singlehandedly.  He owed it to you to find them, either that or he was just trying to rectify his own mistakes.

"D-don't blame yourself."

Your final words still haunted him, he heard them every day.  How could he not blame himself?  He could have done so much more, or even better, he could have stopped you from pursuing that distress beacon in the first place.

Another day passed, and he once again found himself sat at your bedside.  Even Kylo had to admit that he couldn't do this forever, it wasn't fair on either of you.

"If you stop supporting her, what happens?"  He asked the Chief Medical Officer, his eyes not leaving your face.

"Her body has to either sustain itself, or it will fail.  But Supreme Leader, you must know that the chances of her surviving are extremely low.  In fact, I would say near impossible."  He didn't want to get Kylo's hopes up, he understood that.  But Kylo believed that your will to survive had brought you this far, and he wasn't ready to give up on you yet.

"Do it."  He quietly said, every muscle in his body screaming at him to do something to stop this, but he knew it was necessary.  If he lost you, he would never recover, but perhaps this could be the spark you needed to finally wake up and come back to him.  Either way, he couldn't allow you to live out the rest of your days unconscious in the med-bay.

A team were gathered, ready to deal with any possible eventuality.  They had tried to suggest that the Supreme Leader leaves the room, but Kylo was adamant on staying, because the second you were close to consciousness he would have something they didn't - the Force.

Despite you not being Force sensitive, he could sense your presence from a mile away, and he always knew how you were feeling.  It was now his last lifeline to you, if he felt even a spark of life come from you then he wouldn't dare give up on trying to save you.

It all happened so fast, the machines were cut, the only thing left active being you heart rate monitor.  The steady beeping immediately began to rise, up and up until it was dangerously high, then suddenly it flatlined.

"She's going into cardiac arrest."  The Chief Medical Officer exclaimed, the team sweeping into action to try and save you.

He couldn't get a look in, the sea of bodies surrounding you had his own heart rate rising.  Could he have just made a terrible mistake and lost you for good?

When the medical officers stepped back, the only sound filling the room was the monotone beep that symbolised your heart rate.

"I'm sorry Supreme Leader."  The Chief Medical Officer spoke quietly, "we'll give you some time."

When everyone else left the room, tears were already uncontrollably pooling in the corners of his eyes.  His whole world was shattering before him.

He wasted no time in moving to your bedside and gently taking one of your hands to hold in both of his.

"This can't be it, I can't have failed you again."  He whispered, bringing your hand to his lips to press a soft kiss to them.  Your hand was still warm, and he couldn't believe he had come so close and still failed to save you.

"Please-" he begged, unsure as to who he was even speaking to now, "please don't take her from me."  His voice cracked as the weight of losing you finally hit him like a tonne of bricks.

As if the Force had heard his pleas it called to him, and he listened.  It drew him towards you, but he wondered what the point was - it was too late now...  But then he felt it, tiny, almost non-existent, but it was there.

The smallest flicker of life remained in you, your will to survive still fighting, but quickly fading.  He knew he had to at least try and pull you back.

His hands ever-so-gently released yours, placing it back by your side in favour of placing one of his hands on your chest.  He dug deep, deep enough until he could reach that tiny flicker of life within you and he started to pass his energy to you.

Kylo felt himself becoming physically and mentally drained as he passed almost everything he had into you, but when he heard intermittent beeps coming from the heart-rate monitor he knew that he had to push through.

His hand was then met by yours, warm, gentle, alive.  Your eyes fluttered open next, your pupils taking a moment to adjust to the harsh light in the room.  Usually when people awoke from comas, it would take them weeks, months even, to recover.  But you felt reinvigorated, as if you were ready to jump up at a moment's notice and undertake a mission.  Whatever Kylo had done hadn't just brought you back to consciousness, it had brought you back to almost full health.

Satisfied that you were alive, and unable to physically give you anyone, Kylo stopped and collapsed to the ground, his breathing laboured as he tried to regain his strength.

"Kylo-" you tried to speak, but your voice manifested as a mere croak, barely audible.  Your throat was so dry, you were starving hungry, your limbs were aching, but all you could think about was your husband.  He had just saved your life.

"Supreme Leader-" assuming he was about to walk in on a grieving Kylo Ren, the Chief Medical Officer's expression was truly one of shock when he saw the scene before him.

Kylo hunched over on the floor, trying his best to remain conscious after giving up almost his entire life-force to his wife, who was now alive...  You were trying your best to sit up, but struggling due to your limbs being out of practise, and all of the machinery you were wired up and attached to.

"I need a full team in here, now!"  Was all he could think to yell, and immediately he had doctors and nurses arriving in the room behind, each and every one of them looking just as shocked at the scene before them.

As the Force began to catch up with Kylo and fill his veins once again, he was able to pull himself back to his feet, although he still looked like he could collapse at any given moment.  Nevertheless he shoved everyone aside, paying them no mind whilst they tried to read your vitals and work out how in the galaxy you were alive and well suddenly.  He moved to your bedside and cupped your face in his hands.

"You're really here?"  He quietly asked, part of him thinking that he was dreaming right now.

"Yeah, I'm really here."  You whispered back, your voice beginning to sound more recognisable as you now.

He didn't say anything else, he just pulled you close to him and momentarily buried his face in your neck.  He usually refused to show such vulnerability when you were around people, but he was beyond caring about that right now.

You could feel his tears dampening your skin, and your hands gently weaved through his hair, soothingly stroking his dark locks to remind him that you really were there.  Had you not been so dehydrated, you probably would have also been crying - but in your current state you weren't physically capable of it.

When he became aware of your need for medical attention, he reluctantly pulled back and pressed a lingering kiss to your forehead before withdrawing to allow the medical staff to do their work.

He stayed by your side for hours, until eventually you insisted on leaving and going back to your quarters.  Some things never changed, and Kylo knew that whenever you were in the med-bay for one reason or another you were always keen to leave as soon as possible.

The Chief Medical Officer agreed to your release, but only on the basis that a medical droid be present in your quarters to take your vitals hourly and see to it that you undertake a good diet and stay hydrated.  They were also concerned about your mental wellbeing, although  everything was seemingly fine, you were overwhelmed and it was more than likely that the aftermath of everything you had been through hadn't hit you yet.

That night you and Kylo didn't say much to each other.  You had been somewhat aware whilst you were comatose, and you knew just how much pain he had been in without you.  You had bathed, dressed, and simply laid in bed together with him holding you in his arms.

The last time he had properly held you, you had been on the brink of death after days of relentless torture.  He had started to accept that he would never hold you again, and it felt surreal that you were here in his arms.

There were so many issues he had to iron out, including brining your captors to justice, but for now you were the only thing on his mind.  He never wanted to let you go.

[buttdawg]

AEW’s Darby Allin Problem

All I’ve heard for weeks is the hype over CM Punk’s debut on the 8/20/21 edition of Rampage.   I was looking forward to it, although I kept my expectations low, because I didn’t know how long this relationship would last.   Also, unlike the entire population of Chicago, I learned to move on after he left WWE in 2014. 

But I respected the hell out of him for leaving WWE, and I liked his stuff from 2011 to 2014, so it was nice to see him come back on his own terms.   And Chicago is practically a second home to AEW, so it’s nice to see AEW create this special moment for the Chicago crowd.  It’s like watching a stranger propose on the sidewalk.   You don’t have to know the couple to get invested in it.  And Punk looked great, like he forgot to age these past seven years, so yeah, this was a feel good moment.  

Except that I knew he was gonna bring up Darby Allin, and as soon as he did it just sucked the fun out of the whole thing.  

Let’s get this out of the way.    During the #speakingout movement last year, a lot of prominent wrestlers got called out for abusive behavior.    One of these was Darby Allin, but he never faced any serious consequences.   I believe this stems from the fact that his accuser, Hawlee Cromwell, didn’t mention him by name.  I’ll put screenshots of her tweets below a cut, in case it’s too upsetting, but suffice to say she was in a relationship with another wrestler in 2016-17, and he emotionally abused her.  He threatened to leave her if she didn’t have sex with him, and this is rape.   

On June 18, 2020, Cromwell didn’t name any names, because she didn’t feel comfortable doing so.   At least some people must have figured out it was Darby Allin, but I think most people had no idea who she was or who she was dating at the time, so they saw Darby mentioned in these callout lists and decided it had to be a case of mistaken identity.   I know I was confused at the time, because whenever anyone talked about the allegations against Darby, they would point to an accusation which... made no mention of his name.  So it was impossible for most people to connect the dots. 

Perhaps because of this, Cromwell clarified her accusation on August 6, 2021:

No plausible deniability here, either you believe Hawlee Cromwell or you don’t, but she’s definitely talking about Darby Allin.  I’m not trying to tell fans how to respond to this.  I’m not trying to suck the fun out of the CM Punk return, but I do want to put the facts out there, because I spent a few months not knowing whether Darby had accusations against him or not.  Now we know for certain.  He does.  

Personally, I take Hawlee Cromwell at her word, and I don’t see this as any different than the accusations against Joey Ryan or Velveteen Dream.   It’s often been suggested that AEW won’t do anything about Darby because he’s so popular.    That may be true, although I suspect it also has to do with the number of accusers.   My understanding was that dozens of people spoke up about Joey Ryan, to the point where it became almost impossible to ignore.   I have a sinking feeling that AEW just doesn’t see this as a big enough issue to deal with.   They either don’t care, or they don’t believe the allegations, or they don’t consider the allegations worth acting upon.   Or maybe they’re hoping the heat died down last year and everyone forgot about it.   Well, I’m not forgetting.

Anyway this kind of belies the whole feel-good moment of CM Punk’s return.   Tony Khan can talk about how much he wants to earn the fans’ trust, and how much he wants to do the right thing, but every week he keeps putting Darby on TV, making him harder and harder to ignore. 

Even if I didn’t believe the allegations against Darby, I find it kind of stupid that Punk should come back after all these years, but the biggest thing on his mind is Darby Allin.  This was practically the same thing they did with Sting last year.   And we also have Taz maintaining a hate-boner for Darby long after the end of their feud, and we have Jon Moxley and Eddie Kingston palling around with the guy on TV.   We seem to be building this long list of A-1 talent solely devoted to getting Darby Allin over.   I don’t think he’s worth it.   That’s my opinion without the abuse allegations.   If I take the accusations into account, then I have to add that he doesn’t deserve this kind of push either. 

I’d like to continue to support AEW, but dammit, they really aren’t making it easy for me.  I’d like to think I’m wrong about all of this, but that’s why I put Cromwell’s tweet up there, to keep me honest.  If Allin’s the kind of man she says he is, then sooner or later this is going to blow up in AEW’s face.   They could have cut him loose a year ago and been done with it, but now they’ve committed, and it feels like watching a trainwreck in slow motion.   I could be wrong, but I don’t think I am. 

Mostly, I’ve just kept this to myself, but watching Punk out there, talking about his own rough patches, it reminded me of why I respected him in the first place.   He didn’t buy all those ice cream bars to be cute, or to pander.  He used ice cream as a talking point in 2011, to illustrate how tone-deaf WWE management was.   Handing them out in 2021 to prove that things could change if you make a big enough stink.   I don’t know if Punk knows about Hawlee Cromwell’s accusations, or if he’s looking the other way for his own sake.    All I know is that you can’t just sit back and pretend everything’s okay.    This Darby Allin thing isn’t okay.   And I guess I have to say something.

The above images were taken from this tweet, dated June 18, 2020.

[frustrated-writer-skyeknight]

The One with the Runaway Groom, Part 2

Previous

After Dimitri finished his Iced tea, Jack had the group moved back into his apartment especially since they were getting too much attention with a heavily sweating, nicely dressed companion. Plus, there was a call that needed to be made. Sooner, rather than later, before the cops would be called on Jack for abduction of an heir. Surely, Dimitri wasn't a child nor was it time enough yet to report a missing person.

But Jack also knew that his friend's parents didn't like him that much and wouldn't put it passed them to blow the situation out of proportion.

If that meant the others taking space of his apartment as if they lived there, for certain leaving him a lot to clean up after... Well, it wasn't like that wasn't already usually the case. At the very least, it forces him to clean his place often. And in the event his mom would drop by for an unexpected visit, the tidiness would prompt the idea: 'Hey yo, your son is doing fine and not living like a slob just because he separated from his ex-wife.' It helped that Jamie had moved out of his apartment and went to take up space in his older brother's guest room, something he couldn't do with Jack still living with Elsa originally since she used it as an workshop of sorts for any of her fashion design projects. So it wasn't like he was completely on his own in housekeeping, it had been rough going at first when Elsa first moved out and Jamie couldn't move in until he had finally paid off the lease in his previous, smaller unit.

"I’m fine, uncle Vlad. No, really. I know you haven't met him yet, but Jack's a good friend from college so don't worry about..."

Dimitri was using their phone. Because apparently, in his whim to run from the wedding, he forgot that he had given his Smartphone to hold to his best man and uncle, Vlad. Meanwhile Jack was refilling bowls with chips and pouring drinks for everyone, who were watching TV, Jamie was taking stock of ingredients that he could cook for he and Jack's dinner. After deciding on one, he closed the fridge and went to join the others at the center of the apartment.

"Ever notice that the most popular KDramas usually involve love triangles, petty jealousy, and cliché main guy heartthrobs? I could never understand the hype." Hiccup mused, taking a Dorito from the bowl Jack had set down. "Songs are awesome though, even though I don't know what they're singing about half the time."

Jack shrugged, pulling over an ottoman to sit on so he would still be near the chips. "I don't know, I only watched one so far. Because of my in-laws. Well, ex ones anyway. And Kingdom isn’t like that..."

"Yeah, but that one has the overused zombie infestation plot to make up for it."

"When will you guys just watch shows for their purpose?" Jamie raised a brow. scrolling through his phone and thinking of which film to watch instead. No one seemed too heavily invested in Start Up right now anyway.

Who even put it on then? Jamie supposed one of Elsa's friends or other, since this Netflix account was shared between her and Jack. Something they continued to share even after the divorce, as they didn't see the need to stop.

Astrid shrugged, "And what’s that?

"Entertainment."

"Well, when it’s actually doing its purpose I guess."

Jamie rolled his eyes, about to question why they weren't changing what was playing when he was cut off as Dimitri, from the Island counter, was starting to get particularly loud as he talked over the phone. "...I’ll feel much better if I wasn’t hearing dad cussing like a sailor in the background." He said in a bit of a huff, "You know what, just put him on and let’s get this over with…"

Jack took his own phone and paused Netflix, much to the ire of Jamie, so they could all turn to not-so-subtly eavesdrop on Dimitri, even Jim stares at the Russian after acquiring a muffin from the fridge.

"Yeah, it’s m─dad no─Well, if you stop cursing my existence long enough to let me explain─Is mom there? Cause she’d be rubbing soap on your mouth by now!" Dimitri spat at the phone angrily.

Jamie cringed, awkwardly getting up from the couch to head to his room.  Jack and the others passed the Doritos around. As far as he was concerned, it wasn't anything he hadn't seen before.

"─Me?! An ingrate?! I don't owe you anything; you're the damn parent, it was your job to provide those things! And you never even came to watch those Equestrian competitions I joined, and I only ever took up lessons on your demands; I never asked you to spend on those lessons!"

Jim didn't know what the argument was about, but he was definitely taking Dimitri's side. "Huh, dad troubles." he hummed as he walked back to the others, "A good enough reason for the Russian ran."

"In your case," Hiccup shrugged, "your dad ran though…"

That got him a glare from the part time Astronomy professor, "This muffin" Jim growled, holding the muffin towards his friend. "could be used as a lethal murder weapon, Haddock."

"In your hands? I don't doubt it, bud."

"Znayete chto, k chertu eto, ya prosto skazhu eto!"

Astrid, Hiccup, and Jim blinked in confusion. They turned towards Jack, who raised a brow in response. "I was his roommate," he said. "but I didn't learn his language. Turn up the subtitles or something."

"I’m gay, and always have been since forever. Even Anya knows!"

Jack raised his closed fist up, before a finger folded out, "Called it."

"He was your roommate at college." Hiccup pointed out leadingly, "Of course you called it."

The silver blond scowled at the brunette, "We weren't like that," he said. "More like he kept claiming he was bi, when I kept telling I already knew he was gay."

"Yeah well, tell mama I love her but screw you pops!" Dimitri huffed, putting the phone away to scream at it before bringing it back near his ear. "It’s my life, and I’m gonna live it the way I want…… Well, maybe I don’t need your roof to return to. I’ll just stay here…… Hey! he may be bottom feeder Jack to you, but he’s my friend bottom feeder Jack! And what the hell, his big ears don't even have anything to do with the possibility of him being a gold digger."

Hiccup and Astrid both snickered, as Jack looked unamused. "I guess we established I’m still bottom feeder Jack..."

"With big ears."

"I was pointedly not mentioning that."

Then, Dimitri continued with some tone of finality, his voice lowered as if sounding tired now, it somber up his audience. "It’s my decision now, dad… Well, maybe I don’t want to keep my inherita─" He cuts himself off quickly, his eyes widening. "No, no! I said maybe!" There was a click at the other end of the phone, and Dimitri's face fell. "Well, now I’m cut off." He places the phone back on the counter and slumps on a dining room chair. "Shostakovitch… I don’t know if the heatwave is just hitting now, or if I’m having a panic attack…"

At the phrase 'panic attack', Jack moved. The paper bags weren't where they usually were, and he remembered Jamie was the last one who went grocery shopping. He called for his brother, who returned outside to get the paper bag. The silver blond gave it to Dimitri, placing a hand behind the Russian's back as well to rub comforting circles against it, pretty much what they'd do for each other whenever one of them came back to their shared dorm room drunk after random frat parties they've been invited to.

Jack: Okay, just take calming breaths buddy. It's not the end of the world.

Dimitri: *breathing quickly, narrowing his eyes at Jack*

Jack: Okay, maybe it's a big deal but c'mon, don’t look at me like that. I mean, what were you expecting? Just… You know, think of less stressful thoughts. Think happy thoughts.

Dimitri: *inhales* I am *exhales* drawing a blank… Little help?

Jamie: 🎶Think of a wonderful thought. Any merry little thought…🎶

Jack: 😐

Dimitri: 😑

Jamie: 🎶 Think of Christmas, think of snow. Think of sleigh bells off you go!🎶

Dimitri: *throws off paper bag* Not like that.

Astrid: *shrugs* Made me happy. You should join the choir, Jamie.

Next

[a-crimson-lion]

The Moms Of BNHA

[Warning: Spoilers and Potentially Triggering Opinions follow. You've been warned.]

[Also: Long Post.]

So, I've been thinking about this when I should be doing, homework (lol), but... can we talk about a certain trio of moms in BNHA?

Inko Midoriya

Inko is probably the least problematic mom I'll be talking about today. Does that make her perfect? Hell no! But she tries so hard for Izuku, and it shows. Even if she doesn't support Izuku's dreams of heroism once he's diagnosed as Quirkless, it's clear that she supported him in any other way she could think of. She's also worried about his well being, as we see after the mall confrontation and the aftermath of Kamino. And when she sees Izuku's dreams finally becoming a possibility after a lifetime of doubt, she apologizes, fully supporting Izuku's choice in life from there on out. Sure, after Kamino she considers pulling Izuku out of UA, but that's not from a place of selfishness or malice. It's out of worry. She wants her son to be happy, but she also wants him to be safe.

Honestly, I can't think of any legitimate reason to full on hate her...

Rei Todoroki

So Rei... gosh where do I begin?

She's definitely more problematic than Inko, or rather, her situation is. People tend to get on her case because she was apparently just as abusive to Shoto as Endeavor was, and-

Can... can we talk about this for a moment?

I understand that what Rei Todoroki did was wrong, end of discussion. I understand what Rei did only worsened the circumstances for her family, her son, and herself. I understand that while her institutionalization wasn't fair, it was likely for the best given her state of mind. But to put the blame squarely and soley on Rei's shoulders?

That's where I draw the line.

I only say this with the experience of a novice, but from personal experience, most people don't just randomly lash out spontaneously. In my case, it's usually a series of offenses (minor or major) that I refuse to respond to because I feel like that will make me a bad person, but that residual rage? It builds up. Sometimes you can let it out in minor spurts, but it's not enough. One day, one way or another, it will boil over. All that anger, all that frustration, all that rage will combust. You won't be able to stop it once it starts. You'll feel tense. You'll punch things, not caring whether you'll break them or they'll break you. When you get tired of that, you'll storm off into your room and angrily sob into your pillows, or yell/growl... or both. And when it's finally over, you'll still feel like crap. And it'll be a long while before it feels like you or anyone else can forgive yourself.

This is me anywhere from several months to several years. Rei Todoroki had to put up with Endeavor and his abusive behavior for about a decade.

Rei was abused, end of story. Rei's children were abused, either physically or neglectfully, end of story. We've seen Shoto's training. We've heard Endeavor hitting his wife and hearing her scream. People are not perfect. People are not invincible. To expect that someone like Rei could keep her head held high when it felt like the world was against her is like expecting a stone to say the same shape and size out in the open for thousands of years.

In the end, it all wears down.

Rei even knew this herself. She knew she was breaking down, and tried to call on her other family in order to stop something bad from happening. Too little, too late. Rei sees her son, the left side of her son, the side that her husband was responsible for, in a sense. She remembers all the beatings, all the physical and mental degradation against herself and her kids, and she snaps. She has finally had it with Endeavor, and in her fury, she pours boiling water against his face. Only it wasn't her husband's face. It was Shoto's. Her youngest child, her little boy, the one Endeavor was the most brutal to. The one she had wanted to live without fear of a beating.

And she just struck him without a second thought.

There's immediate remorse. Rei doesn't stew in her rage; the guilt overtakes her almost instantaneously. You could argue that trying to ice boiling water is not the best method of preventing a burn, but it's the intentions that matter here. From what I've heard, the scar could have been a lot bigger if Rei just stood there. Plus, I don't think it's necessarily common that people think 100% sanely when they're overcome by extreme emotion. Saying Rei was wrong for trying to soothe her son's burn even if it wasn't the best method is like getting made at a fireman for successfully putting a forest fire out, even of the trees are no longer living.

It's permanent damage, but would you rather deal with that, or something worse?

And just imagine how Shoto feels in all of this. There's sadness. There's betrayal. Of course some of it is directed at Rei, and deservingly so. The one person he felt he could trust basically just turned on him, seemingly out of nowhere. And yet... even though Shoto is a child, he's far from naive. He knows that Endeavor isn't a good person. He's heard his mother's cries, likely her arguments with his father, and he's even been a witness to Endeavor's abuse towards her. She may have done the deed, but for Shoto, the scar isn't his mom's fault. It's Endeavor's. He was the one who abused them, he was the one who took away their sense of happiness, of safety, he was the one who pushed them to the brink and then pushed them some more.

If he had just been a bit more considerate, a bit more reasonable, a bit more human, Rei's breakdown might have been delayed, if not outright nonexistent.

And can we just talk about the Rei/Endeavor parallels for a bit? Nowadays the manga readers are in the midst of Endeavor's redemption arc. I personally think that it's mildly problematic, but I will admit that it's probably better for Endeavor to not continue being a sorry excuse of a human being for the remainder of the series. That being said, I'd like to point out that Rei came first. Rei threw the first jab, and immediately felt remorse afterward. Shoto walked back into Rei's life, and she did not take that opportunity for granted. She spent the time shortly after her hospitalization trying to get better, and this is only more apparent when we see her for the rest of the series. As for Endeavor? His change in behavior was a lot slower. I'll admit that functionally speaking, he's a good hero, but as a person he's the scum of the Earth. He doesn't try self-evaluating after Shoto's fight with Izuku when Shoto says he only used his fire because he forgot about Endeavor. Even at Kamino, Endeavor is still an ass to All Might even though they have bigger things to worry about. And when he sees Small Might, exposed to the world? His first idea is to state that knowing he'd never catch up to All Might drove him to abusing his family.

Endeavor, buddy, that was your call. Not All Might's. Quite frankly, I don't think he's even aware of the BS you put your family through.

One of the few things that frustrates me about Endeavor's redemption is not that he has one; it's that under different circumstances, it wouldn't exist to begin with. Without All Might's retirement, without Endeavor forced into the spotlight as the new #1 Hero, there is no development on his part. I'd have the gall to say that Endeavor would still be a narcissistic asshole if All Might managed to hang on to his power for a while longer. Without the pressure of being #1 on his shoulders, Endeavor continues (in vain) to try and surpass All Might, or at least get Shoto to. He's still a good hero functionally speaking, but how long until his obsession starts to cloud his judgement? How long before the #2 Hero eventually slips up in his rage-fueled fervor?

I'll say it again: it's good that Endeavor is trying to change, but without any actual unprovoked self reflection on his part, it's not as impactful.

So to sum it up, I don't think Rei deserves all the hate she gets. She deserves to be held accountable for what she did, yes, but she's also a human being who was put into a mentally toxic position. It's a miracle she didn't snap sooner, and it's a miracle she's finally making progress with help from her kids.

Mitsuki Bakugo

And finally, the reason why I started down this train of thought.

I'm not even gonna try beating around the bush here: Mitsuki Bakugo is a bad parent.

Notice how I didn't say abusive. No, that does not mean I'm validating her. It just means I personally haven't seen or heard enough in the series thus far to justify whether she should be held on the same level as Endeavor, if not close.

I still have enough sense to see that she's not a good parent though. Far from it, actually.

So far we've only seem Mitsuki officially in a parent teacher meeting after Kamino, and a brief mention of her from Katsuki during the Remedial Course Arc. It doesn't paint a good picture. Right from the get go, her first scene is her hitting her son on the head and calling him weak. This isn't some slapstick or tough love, as some people will say. This is something entirely different, and it should tell readers two things.

Mitsuki is disconnected from her son.

Mitsuki is a carbon copy of her son.

Now take that second point with a grain of salt. People have said time and time again that Mitsuki is basically a genderbent Katsuki, which is accurate to a degree. She's also more mellowed out than Katsuki, as she can talk to other people without trying to assert her dominance. She's actually surprisingly aware of her son's superiority complex as well, but... For all that, it's obvious that Mitsuki isn't actually fully aware of her son's issues. Like her son, Mitsuki is also too focused on her son's brute strength. Calling him weak isn't some karmic justice for all the times Katsuki has said the same to other people; it's a feedback loop that feeds into Katsuki's insecurities, which feeds into his inferiority complex, which feeds into his superiority, which then repeats ad infinitum. You could argue that maybe Katsuki has acted too thick-skinned around his mom to let her actually get a feel for his problems, but I personally doubt that she's really tried to understand her son, or maybe she just... gave up.

And then there's Katsuki saying that he was raised with violence. "BUT CRIMSON, SHE HAS TO BE ABUSIVE IF SHE'S WILLING TO HIT HER KID, WhY cAn'T yOu AcCePt ThAt!?" Well, from what I learned, people can hit their kids and still? Not? Be abusers? Spanking used to be a thing, y'know, and while it's heavily controversial nowadays, I doubt that the good parents used it at the drop of a hat. Kids can be jerks; I was one. Back to Mitsuki, I doubt that this line meant from the day Katsuki had been four years old, his life had been hell. I feel like even if Mitsuki was still brash, she didn't immediately start beating on Katsuki when he started to get a big head. If anything, I'd assume she waited about two years at most before she started letting the fists fly. Keep in mind, almost everyone Katsuki meets admires him for his abilities. Who's to say his mom wasn't one of those people at the start? It wouldn't have been until Katsuki ego started becoming a noticeable issue that Mitsuki decided she needed to tale care of it. Only problem? Mitsuki makes bad decisions, just like her son. Resorting to physical violence and verbal taunts did nothing to help Katsuki, but it's what Mitsuki knew how to do, so she rolled with that. I'm not giving Katsuki a pass because of this, however. Shoto essentially went through the same thing, and his response was not to endlessly shout at others or display dominance. The violence targeted at the boys was brutal, but violence doesn't justify more violence. Katsuki may have had a convenient excuse to start being an ass to people, but so did Shoto. And yeah, "Earlyroki" was an ass, but at least it wasn't intentional.

Before I go, I just want to bring up really quick where Masaru falls into this. One could argue that Masaru's also to blame for how Katsuki turned out for not stepping in but... have you seen Mitsuki, or even Katsuki for that matter? No offense to Masaru, but he's kind of a doormat character. He only married Mitsuki due to her persistence, and while Masaru's "Oxidizing Sweat" quirk is likely destructive, Masaru himself is... not. He seems to be the exact opposite of his wife and son personality wise, only instead of canceling them out, his lack of dominance forces him to run for cover should a dark omen come about. We've seen what Katsuki's done to Izuku before UA. Masaru basically has to put up with two of those, and unlike our protagonist, he doesn't have the resilience to withstand that much anger.

So...

TL;DR. Inko Midoriya is a great mom who just wants her son to be safe and happy. Rei Todoroki cares a lot about her son and is willing to work to show it, even in the face of setbacks. Mitsuki Bakugo is a terrible parent who either needs to figure out what's wrong with her son properly, or leave to someone who can.

Thank you for your time.

-Crimson Lion (24 November 2019)

[gayphoenixx]

Storytime:

When I was 13 my best friend at the time helped me to create a facebook account and email address then secretly kept info to snoop on what I was doing on them, fast forward I met a girl online and we became super flirty and close because I’m gay hehe but in the closet.

Homegirl saw the messages while violating my privacy, screenshot them, then just stopped talking to me with no explanation...and she was cold with it too like a stole her man or something, dirty looks and all. I was so heartbroken because I basically didn’t have anymore friends.

This went on for like a year or two her not talking to me and me genuinely not having a single clue what happened but fortunately I started making friends most of them were queer girls and this was my happiest time in high school.

I mean I went from eating alone in the bathroom to having a fake best friend to being dumped suddenly by said fake best friends to being apart of a friend group of funny queer girls who I could relate to and feel comfortable with.

Then randomly one morning my former best friend came to me talking about “I’m ready to tell you why I stopped talking to you.” Like wtf after I moved on and forgot about your ass you’re coming to me with this old bs...but I highkey wanted to know why so I sat and listened. Big Mistake.

She goes, “So one day around the time I stopped talking to you a girl messaged me telling me that you two were together and she sent me screenshots as proof” my heart sinked, my face got hot & I literally started having an internal panic attack right there and then, mind you the only people who knew I was gay were a FEW of the people in my friend group even tho they were queer I didn’t feel comfortable telling all of them about my sexuality... oh and did I forget to mention that I live in a super homophobic 3rd world country where you can basically get away with k wording and r wording gays, yes so we gotta be careful out here plus I always knew she was homophobic and yes I was still friends with her even knowing that information, I was young, insecure and lonely plus almost everyone you come across in this damn country is homophobic so you either get used to it or head out...

so then she went on a whole ass rant about how she doesn’t agree with that lifestyle, she feels uncomfortable with me around because I may start liking her, it makes her sick and I just stood there in silence taking it on the verge of tears trying to keep a straight face, I mean I was chilling on this nice, peaceful, beautiful morning getting ready for a happy and productive day and I’m suddenly being attacked about my sexuality and private life by this hateful bish

Then I started to worry that she would tell my parents because we lived in the same neighborhood so we were THAT close, we would have dinner and sleepovers at each other’s houses on the regular and were pretty close to each other’s parents...

Then she popped the question, “I just wanna know are you gay or were you experimenting, is it just a phase or you confused, help me understand” I took this as an opportunity to save myself from possibly getting disowned by my parents, I said “I’m not gay ok....*long pause*......I don’t know what that was but I’m straight and that’s been over a long time ago” 🥴😕 she smiled and said “well that’s ok I guess I should’ve come to you sooner, It’s gonna be hard to trust you again but we should be friends again...” can you believe that she’s the one in my business and she has a hard time trusting me?!?!

Inside I’m like bitch hell no!! but I just smiled like the little bitch I was and followed her downstairs to buy a donut, shaking and trying to stay on her good side because I didn’t want to risk getting her upset, afraid she might Out me and ruin my life... we went on being “friends” for some time and all that time I felt as if I was walking on eggshells whenever I was around her, like she was holding my secret and those screenshots over my and I fell into a deep depression and life of self hate...I didn’t even tell my friends who knew about my sexuality what happened.

So...how did I find out that my so called best friend was creepy h0e who’s violating my privacy? Like yea I angrily confronted the girl I was talking to online she told me it was a lie but I didn’t believe her and blocked her. So how I found out, While at fake bestie’s house one day like a year later I got a hold of her phone and started looking for the pics, found them and A LOT more convos....and I could tell they were taken from my chats which means she was going into my account... You know you can tell when a chat’s screenshot is from your pov vs. someone else’s, yeah well all of what she had were taken from the account, it was at that moment I remembered that she was the one who created my FB account and she knows password and ish... but what did she want with my private conversations, why was she doing this?!? I deleted the screenshots, deactivated my FB account, pretended nothing happened and I haven’t created another FB account or told any irl about my sexuality since then. End of memory.

[the-blueish-trashcan]

He’s in Charge; Chapter Ten

Pairing: Henry/Bertrum

Warnings: Mentions of murder

A/N: Hey folks! Sorry for the late update! I worked late last night and honestly forgot about updating, so that’s on me! In this chapter, Henry learns a little bit more about what’s really been going on in the studio, and begins to put the pieces together. He ends up confiding in Bertrum, who does his best to understand what his partner is going through.

Chapter word count: 2,993

{First part} {Previous part} {Next part}

Chapter Ten; Suspicion

Shuffling into the break room the next day, the first thing Henry noticed was Susie Campbell, who looked to be settled in for her lunch break as well. She turned and waved as he came in.

“Hey, Henry! How are you?” She asked cheerily. Settled across from her was an anxious-looking young lady with auburn hair nursing a steaming cup of coffee. Compared to Susie, she looked like she hadn’t slept in days.

“I’m alright, I suppose.” Henry gave a generic answer as he went for the coffee maker. “What about yourself?

“I’m pretty good! I was talking to Joey the other night, it sounds like he’s got a couple plans in the works. He didn’t really tell me what it is, but he sounded pretty excited to have my help.” She responded.

Henry shook his head. “I don’t trust anything Joey has planned for this place, have you seen how many people he’s gotten rid of lately?”

At that moment, the woman sitting across from her speaks up. “He even fired Louis the other day. We barely even make a living wage, both of us work more than one job to make ends meet.”

“You’re kidding.” Henry turns to her, coffee pot and mug in hand. 

“I wish, I can’t afford to work here alone. Writing scripts was hard enough between the two of us, I can’t take it.” She replied, shrugging.

“Sure, things might be getting a little empty around here…” Susie started, “But Joey says if everything works out, we’ll be bringing in enough to get everybody a raise, not just the actors.”

“Whoa, wait a second. You’re getting a raise and half the departments in here are getting dismantled? That’s it. I’m out, I can’t take this anymore. The twenty-four hour diner down the street would treat me better than this, and that says a lot.” The writer finishes her coffee in a long sip, standing up and heading for the door. She doesn’t bother to push in her chair. “Hate to leave the rest of the studio hanging, but I can’t do it anymore! Nice knowing you, Susie!”

Stunned by the encounter, Henry turned to Susie, who only shrugged. Unsure what else to say, Henry simply went back to his desk.

*****

Just as Henry arrived at the studio the morning after, he was practically stopped at the door by a tired, worried-looking Jack Fain. He looked disappointed at the sight of the animator, but only slightly. “Morning, Henry.” He lifted a hand in greeting.

“Morning. Is something wrong?” Henry tilted his head to the side.

“Just…” Jack shook his head, taking his hat off to run a hand through his hair. “Norman didn’t show up this morning. Harrison had to break down the door to the band room ‘cause Norm and Wally were the only ones with keys. It’s not like him to skip out on work, I’ve seen him come in with a scarf around his face just ‘cause he was sick…”

Henry’s eyebrows came together as he reviewed the events of the previous night, fear suddenly gripping him. “Do you think Joey fired him…? I just saw him last night when I was leaving.”

“I don’t know about firing, but I’ve got a pretty good idea of who does. I’m gonna go talk to Cohen about it. You were the last one to see him, you should come with me.” Jack started down the hall, gesturing for Henry to follow.

“Where does he even work? I’ve never seen his office.”

Jack shrugged. “He’s down in the basement, not far from when your man was working on that theme park. It’s pretty out of the way, everybody misses it.”

Henry nodded, falling quiet as he continued to follow the lyricist.

*****

As promised, Grant’s office- which proved to be more of a converted broom closet than a room- was far down in the studio, but much closer to the lift than Bertrum’s work area had been. The door itself was closed, the beaten-up wood bearing two paper signs with shaky writing scrawled across them. One read, “All pay inquiries MUST be made through Joey Drew”, the second reading, “Two week’s notice MUST be given to Joey Drew before quitting”. 

Henry frowned at the signs as Jack knocked on the door, calling out, “It’s just me, you there, Cohen?”

“Jack? Y-yeah, come on in.” The trembling voice of Grant Cohen answered.

As the door swung open, a wave of cold air hit Henry full on, and he immediately pinned the cause as the open hole in the wall and exposed pipe in the back corner. Grant’s tiny desk next to the door was littered with papers, some of which spilled onto the floor as well. His trash can was overflowing with them, though those were mostly crumpled. At one side of his desk, a lamp flickered, shining mostly on a bulky camera and the photos that had to have come from it. From the door, Henry couldn’t see what the pictures were of, but he didn’t care to find out. 

“Hey, who’s been fired lately? And who quit?” Jack leaned on the frame, watching as the accountant shuffled his papers.

“Uhm…” He moved one under his lamp, squinting at it as his hands caused it to shake. “Yes, uhm… Well, technically there were… Three people fired total, and six that allegedly quit in the last…” He flipped a few pages. “Two weeks, about? I-I mean, there’s more before that, but…”

Henry leaned into the room a little more, over Jack’s head. “‘Allegedly’?”

Grant blinked up at him, pushing glasses up on his nose that weren’t there. “Well- Joey said to- to take them off the payroll… But I never filled out a termination form for any of them, so I’d just have to assume they quit suddenly.”

Jack looked up at Henry, then back to Grant. “Is one of those six Norman Polk?”

Grant skimmed over his papers again. “Yes… Joey told me to take him off after hours last night.”

“That’s not right. He wouldn’t just… up and leave without telling us, he’d… He’d at least make sure someone could do his job before, right?” Jack asked the room.

“I don’t know about that… Joey’s been dropping his pay pretty steadily over the last couple weeks.” Grant shrugged, arms folding on his desk.

“Something… really isn’t right here. When I saw Norman the other night, it was right after he was in Joey’s office yelling at him. He didn’t sound like he was about to quit on everybody, he was going to…” Henry trailed off, watching Grant’s eyes widen. 

There was a moment of tense silence before Grant spoke again. “W-well he- maybe he- maybe he got fed up and left, I-I’m sorry, I’m not sure what to tell you.” His voice shook as badly as his hands.

“For God’s sake… Thanks, Cohen, I need to go talk to Sammy about this right now, this is out of control.” Jack suddenly turned and stepped past Henry, taking off down the hall at a brisk pace. Henry, not wanting to move that fast, just waved and closed the door on his way out.

He was halfway to the lift when he felt someone grab onto his sleeve from behind, tugging on it slightly. When he turned and looked down, a still wide-eyed Grant stood before him. He wrung his hands in front of him for a moment, trying to find his voice. “Henry, you- I need to ask you something about- about Joey…” He almost mumbled.

Henry tilted his head, only briefly glancing back down the hall. “What about him…?”

“I know you deal with him a lot personally, I do too… Listen, I heard from Wally before Joey- before he was fired that… something weird happened with him last week, and I really shouldn’t be talking about it to you or anyone really, but he told me you saw it happen. What was it you saw with Joey, exactly?” Grant’s words were frantic, nervous.

His eyebrows came together in confusion, taking a moment to think. “Do you mean when he was coughing up sludge…?”

“Yes, exactly! You’ve seen it too! So maybe you’ll believe me! Look, Henry, Henry, he’s doing things here, it’ll take so much time to explain and I swear I will explain it somehow, but you need to know right now that he’s up to something other-wordly, and it’s very dangerous. You’re already seeing the consequences of that all over the place here, I needed to know that I wasn’t the only one that noticed it, none of it can end well, that’s so, so obvious already.” The smaller man babbled.

“Whoa, Grant, slow down…” Henry put a hand out, setting it on the man’s arm. 

“No, no, no you don’t understand, I swear, he’s trying to summon something, or… I don’t know what he’s really doing! But it’s bad, it’s really bad. I know too much, alright? I know too much about him and what he’s up to with some of the people here, and I doubt Wally or Norman or those people in the band-” He suddenly pressed his lips together, his eyes falling on the ground.

“What are you talking about?” Henry asked quietly, hardly making any sense of the accountant’s rant at all. 

“It’s not safe to talk here, not about this. Someone’s going to hear, and tell him, just like Wally-” Grant stopped himself again. “I’ll explain it all. I will, and it’ll be set right someday.” 

Henry didn’t get a chance to try and get him to explain one more time, the accountant took off back down the hall before he could be stopped. 

Henry was suddenly left alone in an eerily empty, dim hallway, wracking his brain over the accountant’s words and what was really going on in the building.

*****

Friday night, on his way home from the studio after a mostly uneventful day, Henry found himself still contemplating Grant’s ramble from the morning. Between the way he spoke about some of the former employees and the sudden disappearance of Norman, Henry was more than suspicious about what was happening. Nearly at his apartment, he turned the car around, mental destination set for Bertrum’s house. 

When he pulled up to the building, the gate automatically opened for him like usual. No sooner had he stepped out of the car than Ferris came barreling towards him from the yard, causing him to hold both his hands out, repeating “no!” to the dog. Ferris stopped short at his hands, licking both of them. Somewhat relieved, he reached out to pat him on the head a few times.

“Henry!” Bertrum called from across the yard, jogging to catch up with his dog. He had a chewed-up baseball in one hand and looked like he’d been home for a while. He wore a plain black t-shirt and dark-colored jeans, something Henry hadn’t expected to ever see him in.

“Hi… I’m sorry I didn’t call, I was on my way home and just sort of… decided to drop by.” He crossed his arms over his chest.

Bertrum squinted at him ever so slightly. “Did something happen? You know I’ll come back there if I have to.” 

“I’m not really sure. Can we go inside? I’ll tell you about what I think.” He asked almost hesitantly. 

“Of course. The downstairs is being cleaned at the moment, we can sit in the living room upstairs.” Bertrum offered.

“That’s fine.” Henry nodded, heading for the door with Ferris close on his heels. On the way up one set of stairs, Henry caught sight of Bertrum holding Ferris’s collar, trying to direct him upstairs as well.

After a moment’s struggle, the dog had the idea, rushing up and past Henry, disappearing into one of the other rooms. Bertrum caught up to him then, a hand coming to rest on the small of his back. “Now did something happen?”

“Something’s seriously wrong there. More so than normal, there’s something happening behind the scenes that just doesn’t add up.” Henry blurted, letting Bertrum guide him into the living room. He shuffled over to the couch, removing his shoes and setting them to the side. He sat down in a way that he was able to face the other side of the couch, legs folded. 

“How do you mean?” The designer questioned, kicking his shoes off and sitting next to Henry. 

“Alright… Now… You didn’t know a lot of people there. You met Wally, right? He was the janitor.” He started.

“I did. He was… something.” Bertrum confirmed.

“Okay, well… Rumor has it Joey fired him. Rumor has it Joey also fired part of the band and the other part quit suddenly. Then suddenly someone absolutely essential to our whole operation disappears. At first, I thought it was just to cut costs.” Henry pauses, waiting for Bertrum to nod, signalling him to continue. “Well, me and someone from the music department went to talk to Joey’s accountant today. That man’s scared, Bertrum. He’s scared of Joey in the same way I am and he claimed to know too much about Joey and what he’s doing.”

“Do you think Drew’s been threatening him the same way as you?”

Henry nodded slightly. “It wouldn’t surprise me at all. He’s smaller than I am, and Joey’s clearly been controlling aspects of his job, too. But that’s not everything. He said that three people out of nine who disappeared suddenly had been fired, the others he just assumed quit.” Bertrum nodded for him to continue again, his eyebrows pulled together in consideration. “He assumed. He never actually talked to those people, he wasn’t told to do any paperwork for them when they left or anything.”

“Is it random? These people suddenly disappearing, are they random?” Bertrum asked, fingers tapping his knee.

“Sort of? I’m not sure who all was fired and who quit, I didn’t ask, but… Our janitor supposedly was fired, our projectionist quit… We only had one person in those positions, and a lot of the orchestra suddenly stopped working.”

“And… this accountant… He’s trustworthy?”

“More than Joey, he just seemed really frantic, it didn’t really make any sense but the more I think about everything he said to me, the more it feels like he knew more than he was letting on…” He sighed, running a hand through his hair.

“Drew has been… continually more aggressive and controlling, yes?” 

“Yeah, you saw how he’s started to treat me, and with the whole thing with the-” Henry freezes, a look of realization taking over his face. “Wally knew about Joey’s new hobby. He knew because of me. And Grant said Joey was doing something demonic and then Norman saw it and- Oh, God…” Henry suddenly stood up, eyes wide, a hand gripping his hair. “They knew! Wally has friends in the band and then they disappeared, what if he told them about-”

“Henry, darling, slow down.” More concerned before, Bertrum reached out towards Henry with both arms.

Henry gave him his hands and slowly sat back down. “Bertrum, I saw Joey coughing up black sludge. It was dripping from his eyes, too, and his eyes turned color, and you don’t have to believe me, but I was not the only one that saw it. Joey didn’t want me to see it though, it’s- it’s something he’s obviously trying to cover up. I told Wally about it and he disappeared and Norman saw it and now he’s gone, too…”

“Do… do you think he killed them, Henry? You think he’d go so far as to kill someone?” He ran his thumbs over Henry’s knuckles, looking him in the eyes.

“I don’t know! He might have, he…” The images of Joey’s office flicker through his mind. The pictures, the lists he hadn’t paid attention to, the way they looked to have been thrown together. “He has hit lists.” The last part came out as a shocked whisper.

“Hit lists? Henry, I don’t want to sound like I’m doubting you. I don’t mean to, I’m trying to understand this, but do you think perhaps you’re the one that’s paranoid? That studio has been seriously struggling for quite some time.”

“All I know is that my friends are disappearing and no one knows why, because some of them haven’t been fired like Joey says.” Henry shook his head. 

“The man is in a wheelchair, dear. I don’t think he’d be able to do much harm from there unless he ran someone over repeated. You sound like you just need a break from that place.” Bertrum reaches over to gently hold one of his cheeks, tilting his head.

“I’ve seen him stand. When he was first starting to cough up sludge, he stood up and made a grab for me, that’s when he started coughing. Who’s to say he hasn’t been walking, too?” 

Bertrum made a noise like he was thinking for a moment. “I suppose I have a couple favors I can call in regarding… investigation… Would you feel better if I got in touch with someone that could look into Drew?”

Henry’s gaze shifted to the side and towards the floor, considering the question. “I don’t know, I couldn’t ask that of you. Not right now…” He sighs. “I don’t know how much longer I can take it, working there. With everyone disappearing and Joey…”

Carefully wrapping his arms around him, Bertrum started to pull Henry close, eventually leaving the man practically in his lap. “I agree that you need time to sort things out in your mind. If you’d like to stay the night, you’re always welcome to.”

“Thanks…” Henry adjusted himself to be more comfortable, laying against the other man. “I think I’m going to, I don’t want to intrude or anything, though…”

“Don’t worry about that right now. Everything will be alright.” Bertrum reassured.

Henry nodded in response. “If you say so…”

[misslisterkeepsajournal]

1822 Tuesday 23 July

6

12 3/4

Good bed, very clean and comfortable, and slept well - Rainy night, and rainy morning - yet no prospect of doing any good by waiting, and off from Bala (the White lion Inn, John Ellis) at 7 25/60 - the upper road to Corwen only ten miles, but have come the lower (14 miles) thro’ the vale of Edeirnion, on account of the scenery - Beautiful vale - the Dee nearly close on our right most of the way - winds most beautifully, flowing gently between its low banks occasionally prettily wooded - what a contrast to the torrents to which we have lately been accustomed to. A beautiful vale - But it rained all the way to the last of the 2 turnpikes about or near 1/2 mile from Corwen, and our view was sadly spoilt by the thickness of the weather and the gig-top up -

Did not know the town or the Inn again - could scarce believe it the same place we stopt at on Sunday-week - (page 44). Left Bala at 7 25/60 and got here in 2 20/60 hour at 9 3/4 - Breakfast immediately -

(Llangollen - King’s head, new hotel - Mrs Davis. 2 3/4 p.m.) Left Corwen at 11 35/60 and got here in 1 1/2 hour (10 miles government-made road, most excellent in spite of having been almost deluged with rain) at 1 5/60 - the vale of Corwen beautiful certainly, but, as I have repeatedly told my aunt would be the case, it now seemed tame after the scenery we have seen - yet the vale of Edeirnion pleased us, even in the rain, and we prefer it to that of Corwen which saw more distinctly - as we had the top down all the way - a drop or 2 of rain just after setting off, and a shower for about the 3rd mile from Llangollen - heavy rain just after we got in -

Mrs Davis received us at the door, and came into our room to answer our inquiries after Lady Eleanor Butler - Mrs Davis was called up at one last night, and they thought her ladyship would have died - she was however rather better this morning - the physician does not seem to apprehend danger, but Mrs D- is alarmed, and spoke of it in tears - Miss Ponsonby too, is alarmed and ill herself  on this account - pain in her side - “She is a lady” said Mrs D- “of very strong ideas; but this would grieve her too” - Mrs D- has only known them 13 or 14 years during which time she has lived at this house but she has always seen them “so attached so amiable together” - no two people ever lived more happily - they like all the people about them are beloved by all, and do a great deal of good - Lady Eleanor had the remains of beauty - Miss Ponsonby was a very fine woman - Lady Eleanor Butler about 80 - Miss P- 10 or 12 years younger - the damp this bad account cast upon my spirits I cannot describe - I am interested about these 2 ladies very much - there is something in their story, and in all I have heard about them here that added to other circumstances makes a deep impression -

Sat musing on the sopha scarce wotting what to do - irresolute and moody - thinking of Pi [Mariana] low about her I cannot shake off the impression of what she said at Chester about delicacy in calculation delta’s [Charles’] life Mr Powis etc I know not how it is I am shockingly low altogether - Mrs Davis being going to inquire after lady Eleanor Butler my aunt and I walked with her to wait for her giving an answer to our inquiries - the physician there - strolled about for 10 minutes, and not being gone and it threatening to rain, returned and only just got in before a tremendously heavy shower - then sat down and wrote the above of today - I feel better for this writing - In fact, come what may, writing my journal - thus as it were throwing my mind on paper, always does me good -

Mrs Davis just returned - brought a good account of her ladyship and a message of thanks for our inquiries from Miss Ponsonby, who will be glad to see me this evening to thank me in person - shall about go 6 1/2 or 7, just after dinner - this is more than I expected I wonder how I work my way and what she will think of me Mrs Davis wishes me to give all the comfort all I can and not to mention that I know of her having been called up last night -

(9 p.m.) Dinner at 6 before dinner about two hours upstairs washing cutting my toe nails putting clean things etc At 7 went to Plasnewydd and got back at 8 - just an hour away and surely the walking there and back did not take me more than 20 minutes - shewn into the room next the library the breakfast room, waited a minute or 2, and then came Miss P- a large woman so as to waddle in walking but not taller than myself - in a blue shortish waist-cloth habit, the jacket unbuttoned shewing a plain plaited frilled habit shirt - a thick white cravat, rather loosely put on - hair powdered, parted, I think, down the middle in front, cut a moderate length all round and hanging straight, tolerably thick - the remains of a very fine face - coarseish white cotton stockings - ladies’ slipper shoes cut lower down, the foot hanging a little over - altogether a very odd figure - yet she had no sooner entered into conversation than I forgot all this and my attention was wholey taken by her manners and conversation - the former perfectly easy, peculiarly attentive and well bred, and bespeaking a person accustomed to a great deal of good society - mild and gentle, certainly not masculine, and yet there was a je-ne-sais-quoi striking - her conversation shewing a personal acquaintance with most of the literary characters of the day and their works - She seemed sanguine about lady Eleanor’s recovery - poor soul! my heart ached to think how small the chance - She told me her ladyship had undergone an operation 3 times - the sight of one eye restored - couching by absorption - I said I believed it was neither a painful nor dangerous operation - she seemed to think it both the one and the other - mentioned the beauties of the place - the books I had noticed in their rustic library - she said lady E- read French, Spanish, and Italian - had great knowledge of ancient manners and customs, understood the obsolete manners and phrases of Tasso remarkably well - had written elucidatory notes on the first 2 (or 4 # I think) books of Tasso, but had given away the only copy she ever had - contrived to ask if they are classical - “no!” (said she) thank god from Latin and Greek I’m free” - speaking of translations she mentioned La Cerda’s (I think it was) as the best according to some + bishop friend of hers of Virgil, and Cary’s as being most excellent of Tasso, literal and excellent for a beginner, and which she should recommend to any one wanting assistance - She somehow mentioned Lucretioius but it was “a bad book and she was afraid of reading it” - I asked why - He was a deistical writer - I mentioned Dr John Mason Good’s translation adding that I believed he (Dr Good) was not a high church man - “no! She knew he was heterodox” - I observed that she might think all the classics objectionable - “yes! they wanted pruning; but the Delphin Editions were very good - as people got older, she said, they are more particular - she was almost afraid of reading Cain, tho’ lord B- [Byron?] had been very good in sending them several of his works” - I asked if she had read Don Juan - she was ashamed to say she had read the 1st canto - She said I had named Mr Bankes - and asked if it was Mr Bankes Cleaver - I thought not, did not know him; but he was the most particular friend of a friend of mine - it was Mr Bankes the great Grecian, said to be now the best in England since Mr Porson’s death - She did not think he had ever been there did not know, did not remember him - she asked if I would walk out - shewed me their kitchen garden - walked round the shrubbery with me - She said she owned to their having been 42 years there - they landed first in South Wales but it did not answer the accounts they had heard of it - they then travelled in North Wales, and, taken with the beauty of this place, took the cottage for 31 years - but it was a false lease, and they had had a great deal of trouble and expense it was only 4 years since they had bought the place - Dared say I had a much nicer place at home - mentioned its situation, great age, long time in the family etc She wished to know where to find an account of it - Said it had been their humble endeavour to make their place as old as they could - Spoke like a woman of the world about my liking the place where I was born, etc said I was not born there - my father was a younger brother - but that I had the expectation of succeeding my uncle - “Ah! then”, said she, “you will soon be the master and there will be an end of romance” - Never! never! said I - I envied their place and the happiness they had had there - dared say they had never quarrelled - “no! they had never had a quarrel - little difference of opinion sometimes - life could not go on without it - but only about the planting of a tree - and, when they differed in opinion, they took care to let no one see it” - At parting, she shook hands with me and gave me a rose; I said I should keep it for the sake of the place where it grew. She had before said she should be happy to introduce me sometime to Lady Eleanor - I had given my aunt’s compliments and inquiries said she would have called with me but feared to intrude, and was not quite well this evening - she (Miss P-) gave me a sprig of geranium for my aunt with her compliments and thanks for her inquiries - Lady E- was asleep while I was there - Miss P- had been reading to her “Adam Blair” the little book recommended to me by M- at Chester - I had told Miss P- I had first seen an account of them in La Belle Assemblie a dozen years ago, and had longed to see the place ever since - She said some people had been very impertinent, particularly Dr Mavor who had in some way displeased (laughed at or something) their old housekeeper to whose memory they have erected a monument in the church yard - and it seems the ladies have a particular objection to Dr M- but Miss P- appears to have lost her teeth, and occasionally mumbles a little, that, as a stranger, I did not always perhaps quite understand her - It seems 2 of the Cromptons and their brother (of Esholt) were lately sketching the place - the ladies sent them chairs - went out to speak to them (for they were retiring fearing they had offended the ladies) formed an acquaintance and wanting to know something aobut the Derwentwater family which the C-s could get to know, there has been a correspondence - Miss P- said she had not answered their last letter, but meant to do it - Lady E and Miss P- seem great pedigree-people antiquaries, topographers, etc -

The Ladies of Llangollen: Miss Ponsonby on the left, Lady Eleanor Butler on the right - Image Credit: Wikimedia Commons

I came away much pleased with Miss P- and sincerely hoping Lady E- will recover; to enjoy a few years more in this world - I know not how it is, I felt low after coming away - a thousand moody reflections occurred; but again writing has done me good - went to and returned from Plasnewydd in a gleam - showery afternoon and evening - I mean to dry and keep the rose Miss P- gave me - ‘Tis now 10 1/4 - sat talking to my aunt came upstairs at 11 10/60 forty minutes siding my things in the imperial - used the syringe with cold water three times today great deal of discharge -

Reference: SH:7/ML/E/6/0031

[whispersafterdusk]

The Master’s Apprentice - ch 11

Something like a week (maybe two weeks?) passed before he saw Brelyna again; Onmund thought it had to be late at night - it certainly wasn't early enough for Varea to have come back - when he first noticed the shadow slinking into the room, only for it to be revealed as Brelyna in darker robes and a black cloak once she'd gotten close enough to the little flames he held in each hand.

"Divines... Oh, Onmund..."

He went to say something but his mouth was dry, his lips cracked; all he could manage was a weak smile as he clenched fists and extinguished the flames. ((Continued below cut))

Brelyna hurried over to him and pulled her cloak off, spreading it over his legs and tucking it in around his hips -- he was too chilled to really feel anything from it but appreciated the gesture.  The cloak had been hiding most of her and definitely concealed a small sack she held in one hand; the sack was dropped to the ground near his feet as she shuffled on her knees to bend and peer at the shackles.

"What...what are you doing?" he croaked.  He licked his lips to try and work some moisture back into his mouth but all he could taste was blood -- his nose had bled rather frequently lately and his busted lips usually scabbed over in the night and somewhat glued his mouth shut (and of course Varea hadn't bothered to feed him anything...thank the gods THAT wasn't an issue anymore).

Brelyna continued to poke and feel around the shackles with the tips of her fingers. "I'm getting these off, and then we're leaving," came her distracted answer.  She began to mutter and wave her hands; Onmund could sense her trying out a variety of spells on the shackles, trying each in sequence until finally the cuffs popped open and his arms flopped painfully down to his sides -- his hands were tinged purple and he had cuts and bruises around where the edges of the shackles had dug into his skin, his shoulders were on fire from being trapped in the same position for so long, and soon after his hands began to burn and tingle as blood rushed back into them.

"What's she done?"

"I have no idea but it's nothing good.  No one even remembers your name, Onmund -- no one knows you're here anymore.  Or that you ever were here.  And everyone obeys her without question. I think she was trying to control me as well, and I think it worked a little bit because after a few days I sort of...forgot about you too.  I would have come sooner if not for that."

Onmund peered blearily up into her face.  "Why are you here now, then?  You should run before you're caught-"

Brelyna shook her head and reached out to briskly rub her hands over his. "No, no - she's gone, she's left the College - her and some of the others...at least Tolfdir, Colette, Faralda, and Arniel, maybe more.  I don't know why.  Maybe that's why I snapped out of it and remembered."

Left the College...?  He tried to pull his thoughts in order, to try and remember if she'd let anything slip; all he could recall was just...pain, and a lot of it.  There wasn't any recollection of her (or him) speaking at all, really.  Had he finally been broken and he just didn't remember it?  Gods, he hoped not...Kestrel would kill him for sure -- but since he WAS alive, maybe that meant Varea hadn't managed to rip the information out of him.

So, why was she gone?

And...what did he do now?

Well, that second question was a lot easier to answer than the first once he got his head in order; once he could feel his fingers again he cast a few restoring spells over himself and was relieved to feel the aches and pains fading -- he'd tried multiple times before now to try and mend himself but his numbed fingers and scrambled mind hadn't been able to handle the finer details needed to cast from the restoration school (...ugh, falling back into that mindset already).  It took a lot out of him just to get himself back in order and once he'd mended himself back into a functional human being he found Brelyna waiting there with a pair of boots (they looked like HIS boots and he wondered what she'd done to retrieve them) and a cloak similar to her own but in a midnight blue.

"Brelyna, I-"  He paused, wondering what to say.  If he told her anything, especially now, then she was stuck with him...  "I need to escape, and you need to run.  Just find somewhere safe, far away from here, and - and I'll come find you again when you can come back."

"What?  What do you mean?  I'm not - I'm not running away, I want to help you.  This is MY home too, Onmund.  These are my - our - friends and teachers.  I can't just abandon them...we have to stop whatever Varea is doing."

"I KNOW what she's doing," he growled.  "Or, I think I do.  I'm pretty convinced I know.  But the problem is if I tell you anything about it, you..."  He stuffed his feet into his boots, frustrated -- what could be considered "safe" to tell her?  "Look, I - when I was trapped down there, yes, I found another mage.  I became HER apprentice, and she's really strict on who she allows to know about her and her secrets.  If I tell you any more then you'll be bound by those rules too, if not killed."

Brelyna's eyes widened and she took a step back from him.  "You ARE under someone's control..."

"No, no no no - I'm not under anyone's control!" He was almost pleading at this point - Divines, could just ONE PERSON on this damned continent believe him?  Just once?  "Yes, there's a spell on me, and yes, she placed it on me.  It can't control me but it can kill me if she wants me dead -- it's...it's..."

...fine.  Fine.  There wasn't time to argue this.  It was easier to beg forgiveness than it was to ask permission and if Brelyna ended up immortal too then he'd have endless lifetimes to earn that forgiveness.

"-it's an experimental spell meant to make me immortal - she's immortal too."  Close enough to the truth - fine details would take too long.  "She can tell if its being tampered with and she can trigger it to kill me.  And it's because there's something a hundred - no, a thousand times more dangerous than the Eye of Magnus down there, and she has to keep it safe and hidden.  As her apprentice I was helping with that until Varea managed to rip me out of her hands.  If I had to guess I'd say Varea knows what's down there, came here pretending to be Thalmor so she could establish herself, work her magic, and then snatched me up too as part of whatever plan she has to steal what we were protecting.  Believe me when I say it's something worth dying for and killing to protect."

Brelyna's eyes went even wider.  "Oh no..."

"So we have to get out of here and try to-"

"-Onmund, she didn't leave alone, remember?"

He stopped, thinking a moment...yeah, she HAD mentioned that several of the College masters had left along with Varea.   "Damn it, that's right...and Kestrel won't have any reason to stop and consider who she's killing in the middle of a fight.  I definitely don't care if she kills Varea but the others are in danger.  We need to get out of here NOW.   We have to...to... To beat them to her, somehow."

His legs felt wobbly even after mending himself and he slipped twice climbing up the rickety ladder out of the Midden; there weren't words to describe how that first lungful of fresh Skyrim air had felt. The elation at being free was short-lived however, replaced instead by a gnawing sense of dread as he quickly glanced around -- no one seemed to be near.  Good.  They could slip out unnoticed.

Brelyna followed close behind him as he led the way out of the College and across the narrow bridge that connected it to the mainland; no one had taken Faralda's  usual place at the start of the bridge to greet newcomers and once their boots sank into the snow of Winterhold's streets there weren't even any guards in view.

"Where are we going?"

"Saarthal -- I think I know how to climb down," Onmund answered.  "-were there still supplies in Saarthal?  Specifically, food?"

"There should be... Arniel was still making regular trips there until recently - I don't recall him or anyone else carrying anything out of there."

"Good.  You'll need as much as you can carry."

They crunched along a few feet more.  "-WE will need as much as we can carry.  Don't think I'm going to let you starve yourself on my account."

He blew out a breath that fluttered his lips together.  "It's a long story but I don't actually need to eat anymore.  I'll carry what I can but it'll all be for your sake, not mine."

Glancing over a shoulder he caught Brelyna's expression of equal parts confusion and suspicion but she didn't press the issue and stomped along behind him as they waded through the snow and out of Winterhold, their steps turning toward rougher wilderness and the tiny foot path they'd cut through the mountainous area that would eventually spit them out on a hilltop overlooking Saarthal's entrance. The snow wasn't all that deep but Onmund was quickly tiring; the lack of sleep and all that time spent within Varea's "tender" care had done more to him than he'd realized - more than what a healing spell could help.  Saarthal wasn't that far from Winterhold...if he could just reach it then before climbing down he could rest a bit (or maybe Kestrel would notice them and help too).

Right as they crested the hill Onmund felt a sudden...shudder rush through him -- a sort of full-bodied shiver, little more than a twitch, and just as suddenly he found himself staring up at the sky.

But his glimpse of the sky was just as brief as the shudder had been, and then there was nothing.

----------------------------------------

In a way Onmund imagined himself back in the Hall of Mirrors.

His awareness of himself was scattered into many reflections that he switched between, seemingly at random: there was his body, with his mind looking out through his eyes like wide windows; he was also above his body, looking down at where it lay on a dusty bedroll beside a pitiful fire and even more pathetic looking dunmer woman; there was the feeling of being very small, and curled up on the bosom of a familiar but unseen presence; and, of course, at times his floating self seemed to flicker around the room to gaze down at his still body from many different vantage points.

When he found himself awake and aware within the "him" that floated above himself he squinted down at his body and saw that his chest still rose and fell -- his physical form was alive, at least.  There wasn't enough of "himself" in this floating form to puzzle out what had happened or how to rejoin with his body but "it" took comfort knowing that so long as the body was alive then there was a chance to fix whatever this was.

Brelyna was sitting beside his body, knees pulled up to her chest and staring intently at him; "he" had no way of knowing what she was thinking but she'd at least dragged his body out of the snow and into...wherever here was.  There wasn't enough "him" to remember where they'd been heading or what they'd been doing, and in between her blinks he flicked over to another place somewhere within the room -- "he" felt he was over her shoulder now, looking down at himself.

And it was the perfect angle to watch as his body sat up and held its head.

"Onmund?" Brelyna pushed forward onto her knees and crawled toward his body, reaching out to grab his body's shoulders.

His body shrugged her hands off and ran its hands down his chest and across his face; his expression changed to confusion, and again his body shoved out a hand to push Brelyna away.

"Sit down and be silent, girl," came his voice...but, "he" hadn't said anything.

Brelyna blinked at him, then looked angry; his body threw the top of the bedroll off itself and looked down at its legs.

More words came out of his body then.  "Well, this was unexpected...and poses a problem.  --would you stop your fretting, child?  He's alive, just asleep."

"Who are you?  You're not- you're not Onmund.  What are you?"

"He" watched as he pushed a hand through his hair.  "I'm his master, girl.  This was not intended.  Where are we?"

"His...master-"

"-shut up and focus," his body interrupted.  "Where are we?  This is more important than anything else right now."

"S-Saarthal," Brelyna answered after a pause.  "Onmund wanted to climb down to you."

His body rubbed a hand along its chin (and "he" abruptly switched to be looking out of his own eyes).  "I see... Well, that's good then."   His body stood and kicked the rest of the bedroll out of the way.  "That bitch and her little minions have taken the crown and made a proper mess of things.  We need to get my spirit back into my body, and then plan to get it back."

"Onmund" imagined his eyes going wide: Varea HAD been after the crown!  And...what had she done to his master?

"What have you done to Onmund?"

"He" watched as his body tugged its boots on - Brelyna was somewhere behind him.  "Before you get all up in arms I promise you that he's fine -- my soul has merely displaced his and possessed his body.  He's still inside here-" one of his fingers tapped his temple "-and he's fine.  It seems that spell that tethered us together had an unintended side effect...though now I wonder why my last apprentice's soul didn't attach itself to my body like I have with Onmund's...  Curious.  But something to examine later.  Follow me, be silent, and do whatever I ask you to do.  Understand?"

"But-"

"I asked if you understood.  Yes or no."

"He" didn't like the tone coming out of his mouth and Brelyna didn't look like she liked it either but she muttered an understanding and followed along behind his body as it led the way from the claustrophobic little side room; the hall beyond it was very nearly completely caved in -- "he" wondered how Brelyna had gotten him in here through this jumbled mess of rock and soil and in the same instant was grateful that she'd hidden them so well.  As his body climbed through the small openings "he" could feel the bite of stone into the knees as well as the sting of a few scrapes along his arms and hands as his body periodically lost its balance or something shifted underneath them and they slipped.

"His" point of view changed a few times as they carefully crept along the halls of Saarthal, heading for the far room with the dragon wall in it that led to the way down to Kestrel's lair, but when they reached the room that had once held the Eye of Magnus his body jogged down the stairs and actually moved to step up onto the base where the Eye had once floated.

"Get up here, yes - right there, yes," came his body's instruction to Brelyna, urging the dunmer to stand beside it (and very close).  "I've never been in this situation before so I don't care to make risks where I don't have to."

"Onmund" watched as his body went into a casting that was full of intricate, delicate hand movements; both his body and "himself" vibrated with the ancient power that was draining out of the base and into their crafted spell -- a thin line of light manifested in the air in front of them and with the sound of ripping parchment pulled open into a roughly oval-shaped portal that shifted between an orange and white light.

"In.  Quickly," his body ordered.

Brelyna brushed by so closely that his body was nudged aside, and her form quickly disappeared from view through the portal; "his" vision was blinded by the white-orange light as his body followed her through and came out in a decidedly darker room that smelled of damp soil and positively vibrated with rapidly fading magic.

His body raised a hand and conjured a small magelight orb, illuminating a room that was perfectly square and hardly bigger than the rune circle that was carved into the stone floor -- "his" viewpoint was again limited to what was in view of his body's eyes but it did seem like this room lacked any sort of way in or out of it...no doors or windows that "he" could see nor anything to suggest that there was or had ever been doors or windows.  

"What IS this?"

"In days long forgotten mages would open portals willy nilly, from wherever they were to wherever they were going -- those sorts of spells were a simple matter to intercept or redirect.   However, leaving from or going to a specially prepared circle such as this-" his body tapped the toe of a boot against one of the runes - there was no telling how old it was yet it still looked brand new "-was considerably safer...especially if you are like me and make it so anyone who tries to get in here gets rerouted to this circle, which they can't leave unless I permit it."

Brelyna squatted down on her heels to peer at the runes.  "...I don't even recognize most of these."

"Of course not.  From what I've seen with Onmund it doesn't seem like your College teaches much at all.  Come along."

"Onmund" tried not to panic as his body turned toward the wall to its left and walked directly at, and then directly through, it and out into a hallway he knew well; the wall behind them looked as blank as he'd believed it had been -- he'd never known there was another room hidden here, and this was only a few yards from the door of his own bedroom!   Without waiting for Brelyna his body began to hurry down the hallway; "he" began to notice signs of a fight - scorch marks, broken lanterns, patches of frost still clinging to the walls, and several busted doors - the closer they drew to Kestrel's room, and once inside it "he" was overwhelmed with a feeling of guilt and anger as he saw the corpse of Tolfdir laying on its back near to the stone slab that Kestrel's coffin (now shattered and strewn around the room) had once rested on.

"-oh no...you DID kill them..."

"He" was faintly aware of Brelyna's accusation -- as his body hurried by Tolfdir's remains he tried his best to get a look at it but couldn't see much more than a bloodstain the size of a fist soaked into the shoulder of Tolfdir's robes...he was otherwise uninjured and without another scratch on him so far as "Onmund" could see.

"This was not my doing.  Believe me when I say a small group of mages is hardly a threat to me...but a servant of a Daedric Prince using stolen souls and blessed by her patron?  THAT is considerably more than I was prepared to handle."

His boot kicked out and moved some of the shattered remnants of her coffin away from the hole in the stone slab; as his body swung around and began to lower itself down the stone ladder "Onmund" shifted again and was able to watch the top of his head as his body went down and "he" had little choice but to follow.  Brelyna carefully climbed down above him and stuck close to his body as they hurried down the line of coffins to where the runed corner - once hidden from view by illusions - had been blown outward and into the room where the crown had once been.   Beyond the jagged corner in the crown's room were the remains of Colette, Arniel, and Faralda -- all of them bore similar bloodstains on their shoulders and, like Tolfdir, were otherwise unharmed.

In a twisted, maimed heap at the base of a plain stone pedestal was Kestrel's remains; it was definitely bizarre to watch himself pick up the broken and bloodied body and carry it from the room as though it weighed nothing.  Kestrel's illusions were gone and "he" could tell that while she still looked skeletal (little more than leather stretched over a frame) her face was somewhat fuller than he recalled seeing before...maybe that spell between them really was giving her back more of a living appearance.

Not...that it really mattered now.  But his body didn't seem disturbed to carry the remains of its master; when they came to the ladder his body had laid Kestrel's on the floor then laid with his head between her thighs and her legs over his shoulders, paralyzing the corpse in that position before slipping free and lifting it to sit on his shoulders -- with the corpse balanced on his shoulders his body then climbed back up the ladder and plodded over to the mostly untouched white coffin that still stood against the wall.

"Thankfully they didn't damage this one or we'd all be in trouble..." his body muttered.  It released the spell on Kestrel's body, then moved the coffin flat with a gesture and lowered the corpse in.  "All right, you - come here," his body said, gesturing for Brelyna to come stand behind it.

"Here?"

Onmund's body nodded when Brelyna stepped behind it, then turned its back to it.  "Yes, there -- if he falls, catch him.  When he wakes back up just stay with him and wait on me, I trust him to know what he can, cannot, and should not do."

His body lifted its hands in front of it, keeping its fingers together and pressing the tips of its pointers and thumbs together to form a sort of spade shape between them; inside "him" he felt a tugging. It was insistent but not like Varea's spell had been -- where Varea's had hooked in and ripped him upward this one felt more like it was carefully peeling a part of him away.

"He" crashed back into his own body abruptly; each limb spasmed and he tipped backwards into Brelyna's arms, gasping air into his lungs and flinching as the coffin in front of them slammed shut.

"Onmund - is it...you?"

"It's me...that was...that was really weird and I never want to do that again," he panted.  Brelyna helped steady him on his feet and finally he was able to turn around to look at her.  "You're all right?"

"A few scrapes but I'm fine.  You...really scared me, collapsing like you did."

"In my defense I didn't do it on purpose," he replied with a small laugh.  "It... It's been a very strange year.  And, I guess now that you've met Kestrel I can tell you everything.  I know what she's going to ask you when she wakes up."  He wanted to add 'IF she wakes up' but knew that Kestrel wouldn't have gone through the trouble of retrieving her body if there wasn't a way to restore her.  "So...let's go across the hall - there's a sitting room there and the chairs are rather comfortable - and I'll tell you the entire story, and then you can ask whatever you want.  Can't guarantee I'll know the answer but I'll try.   No more secrets."

Brelyna nodded and picked her way across the mess of the room and out into the hall; Onmund glanced over to where Tolfdir lay, grinding his teeth together at the sight of his dead mentor.  Varea may have gotten what she was after but Onmund was determined to make her pay or die trying...which, considering how Varea had seemingly destroyed Kestrel in a fight, he wasn't at all sure how he could accomplish the first rather than immediately suffering the second.