#should probably get back into coding tbh
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Ah yes, the start of Internetting everything and selling data to corporate miners. Never trust technnology kids. Trust me, I'm a Computer Scientist
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a bit ago i got real sick of the fact that i wassn't really progressing myself and decided to cave and start trying to make games again, only to get real caught up in the idea that i was at best wasting my own time and at worst wasting other peoples time . and with the full benefit of hindsight i have to say Fuck That Shit, why the hell did i ever think that
#flopswords#literally all my life ive been convinced.that my contributions to society would be somewhat frivolous Whyyyy did that only suddenly become#a problem#i think i k ow the answer but still#goofy as hell tbh#anyway ishould. probably get back to learning godot skmetime soon#the relative lack of programming is not my favorite but ive also not done that stuff in a Hot Minutes so i should prolly just suck it up#and accept that a more code intensive engine would have only been an impediment
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Just wanted to drop in and say thank you for finding and posting the ONI logs that you do! As someone who loves the story of the game but absolutely would not have the energy to find all of the logs that aren’t on the wiki legitimately its nice to be able to see some of them. The one w/ nails in it is especially interesting! Nails was already one of my favorite dupes but that log made me like them even more tbh. Everyone say thank you to Human Nails™️ for making dupes like actually cognizant.
Also, saw your ONI stuff on artfight! I am absolutely not plotting and scheming anything at all i swear :]
Oghhhh tysm :')!!!! I've been feeling a bit self conscious abt my oni obsession lately so this means a lot! I still need to get around to making my oni story catalogue actually readable, I started a while back but ran out of steam after the like 50th incident with said one with Nails in it lol. And I actually recognized you from artfight! Saw your oni guys a few days ago and I'm honestly obsessed with them, it would be a shame if I had my hand forced and had to draw them :3c
#rat rambles#oni posting#I hope Ill have the energy to draw multiple of them tbh Im bad at chosing what characters to draw#but yeah it is rough to be an oni lore enjoyer in this world where all out of game sources are horribly outdated#and even the stuff thats not outdated on the wiki is often just. straight up wrong.#I believe I went and fixed some of the worst stuff at one point but I mostly only fixed the easier stuff to fix if Im remembering correctly#as in incorrect names and job descriptions and stuff#I should go check if the jackie thrratening to burn nikola's work thing is still there because as far as I know thats just not true#I think that was probably a misremembering of a seed is planted where nails talks abt jackie burning some of their work#because outside of that I dont think jackie burning stuff was ever explicitly brought up?#or maybe I just dont remember it or smth it has been a lil bit since I've reread everything#Ive been rereading some stuff every now and then but I havent sat down and binged it all again yet#well hey Ill have plenty of time to comb over everything once I get back to cleaning up my log doc eventually#and then maybe after that Ill. sigh. go update the wiki. sighhhhhhhh#I rly dont want to but at the same timr Someone needs to for ppl like you aka most of them who arent going to manually hunt it all down#cause trust me it feels like loosing your mind to try to find all the logs in game even while actively cheating#you know its bad when I had an easier time learning how to read the code and finding the logs there then actually finding them all in game#plus as far as I know a decent amount of them are dlc exclusive which makes it even more hard to get into#well maybe not harder but more money yknow#but yeah Im glad I had the experience of hunting lore stuff down manually but I would not wish it upon others lol
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you jealous? pt. 2 | c.s. & m.s. |
chris sturniolo x fem!reader x matt sturniolo



read pt. 1 here <3
summary: y/n hasn't quite figured out how to share, but sure as hell wants matt to learn.
warnings: NO THREESOME; smut; unprotected p in v; oral (f receiving); fingering; dirty talk; all 3 of these mfs are toxic af tbh; choking; SEVERE lack of girl code (booooooo); 18+
notes: omg i have wanted to write a pt. 2 for SO LONG but genuinely could not figure out a way to write it without making it a threesome (not yucking anyone's yum here i just physically recoil any time i've tried writing that stuff) (i do eat it up when other ppl write it tbh). anyways i finally sat down and forced myself to come up with a plot bc this has been hands down my most requested pt 2 of any of my work and my sole purpose on this earth is to please. sooo i hope u all enjoy reading this absolute freak show love u alllllll <333
oh yeah btw this is 7,322 words dkm
“Fuck Chris, keep going.” I whined, digging my nails into his bare shoulders and tightening my legs around his waist as he drove his cock into me relentlessly. His dimly lit room was hot and provocative, filled with the erotic sounds of our bodies slapping against each other. “Mmm baby, you f-feel so good.” Chris groaned, his curly brown hair feathering across my cheek as he buried his face in my shoulder; sinking his teeth into my delicate skin cruelly. I felt a bead of sweat drip down my temple as Chris’s rhythm began to grow sloppier. “You want my cum, pretty girl?” His crude words made my stomach tense as he breathed them against my skin. Wrapping my legs even tighter around his rolling hips, I nodded my head despairingly. “G-god, yes!” I cried out, running my hands through his damp hair.
I let out a sharp moan as Chris brought his thumb to my clit and began rubbing it in rhythmic circles. My body was set on fire, not far from my own orgasm as I felt his cock begin to swell inside of me. “I-I’m close.” I breathed, my jaw slack as I began to lose myself to the pleasure coursing through my veins. My senses began to fail me. Chris’s room suddenly became a black hole. I could no longer feel the soft mattress beneath me or hear the music playing from the tv. As I grew closer and closer to my orgasm, the only sensation that I was able to comprehend was the feeling of Chris’s heavy body pinning me down as his cock slid through my trembling walls. I released a sharp, desperate moan as I felt the rubber band in my stomach grow tense; so close to snapping. All I needed were just a few more sloppy thrusts from Chris, a few more circles against my bundle of nerves and I—
“Shut the fuck up sickos!” I gasped as Chris stilled above me, the sound of my best friend’s bellowing voice and a harsh knock on Chris’s bedroom door pulling us out of our trance. “Y’all need to hurry up, we’re leaving for dinner in 20 minutes!” Nick shouted through the door. Chewing on my bottom lip to stifle a laugh, I looked up at Chris in disappointment. His heaving chest was rising and falling as he smirked down at me, before leaning down and playfully biting my nose. I grabbed onto his forearms — each one confining me underneath him — and tried to gently push him off of me with a sigh.
“We should probably get ready, Chris.” I admitted, feeling the disappointment radiate through my unsatisfied body in ripples. As I attempted to adjust my body, I felt the remnants of my nearly-there orgasm in the pulse of my core around his thick shaft. Before I could make any real progress in climbing off of the bed, Chris paralyzed me with one sharp snap of his hips. I gasped, unable to deny my need to cum, as he snaked his hand to the back of my head and laced his fingers through my roots; keeping me in place. His eyes were still glossed over with desire, and he licked his smirking lips before he spoke. “We will, just as soon as we cum.”
𓆩☆𓆪
After hurriedly getting dressed and fixing my makeup, I climbed up the basement stairs on wobbly legs with Chris just behind me. Tugging down my short black dress, I walked into the kitchen and found Nick leaning against the counter with a knowing look in his eye. “You look a mess.” Nick deadpanned, rolling his eyes at me. I felt my cheeks grow red under his playful glare, avoiding eye contact as Chris chuckled behind me. “You’re weird as fuck for even walking downstairs to begin with kid.” Chris snarked back, draping his arm lazily across my shoulders. Nick scoffed. “Sue me for wanting to be on time for our reservation, dumbass.” I stifled a laugh listening to their flying insults. “Maybe if you figured out how to go five minutes without sticking your dick in my best friend you would have seen one of my many texts, and we could have avoided all of this.”
Although I had been trying to hide the fact that Chris and I had been sleeping together from Nick, I would be lying if I said that I hadn’t felt a flood of relief when he had ended up catching us on the couch together a few weeks ago; me with my face pressed into the cushions and Chris lining himself up behind me. Nick had been more than a little pissed at first — likely due to the crude imagery of us burned into his retinas — but after a long, honest conversation filled with more than a few vile insults thrown our way, he calmed down tremendously. Since then, he had seen enough of Chris and I slipping away to the basement that he really didn’t seem bothered by it anymore. I had felt guilty about keeping such a big secret from my best friend, but he seemed to understand why I had.
One thing I still hadn’t told him, however, was what had happened the night of their last party. What he didn’t know was that Chris wasn’t his only brother who had kissed me, touched me, slid himself in between my thighs. Wasn’t his only brother who ran his soft lips against my warm skin, leaving a trail of goosebumps in his path. Wasn’t his only brother who had whispered filthy words in my ear; who had made me cum so hard that I dissolved into a puddle. Chris wasn’t his only brother who had fucked me, and it was crazy, because I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about any of that since Matt slipped out of his dark room that night.
As if reading my mind, I was pulled from my dirty thoughts by the sound of Matt’s door creaking open. Looking up from my shoes, my eyes immediately locked onto his; twinkling in odd amusement as he seemed to examine my appearance. He walked into the kitchen casually, sliding into a seat at the table before pulling his phone from his pocket. Nick walked up behind him and fixed the back of his hair. “Did you hear how loud these fucking losers were?” He asked Matt. I watched as Matt’s shoulders seemed to tense up before he shook his head wordlessly. To this, Nick groaned. “Then I guess I’m just the lucky one.”
My eyes were glued to Matt’s profile as he seemed to aimlessly scroll on his phone, his body language seemed fairly relaxed but I could see the tense muscles in his flexed jaw. “Uh, anyways,” I began, pulling my attention back to the rest of the room, “We ready to head out?” I looked up at Chris and shot him a quick smile. “Soon,” Matt replied, looking up from his phone and directly at me; his eyes shining with provocation, “Sophie will be here any minute.”
As if on cue, the doorbell rang and Matt hoisted himself from the chair and sauntered over to answer it. From where I stood frozen in shock, I heard Sophie’s familiar voice as she greeted Matt, and cringed when I heard the unmistakable sound of them kissing. After a moment, Sophie breezed up the stairs and into the kitchen where we were all still congregated, her sweet-smelling perfume preceding her as she air-kissed first Nick and then Chris. With a smirk, Matt walked up behind her. “Y/n, you remember Sophie, right?”
Even with my racing heart and heavy limbs I ignored his jeering tone, unwilling to give him the reaction that he so clearly desired. “Of course!” I replied, internally cringing at the high pitched faux-excitement in my own voice. “You’re coming to dinner!” I did my best to sound pleased, but by the look Matt gave me outside of Sophie’s view, I knew that I hadn’t convinced him.
Sophie had been an on-and-off again fuck buddy of Matt’s for a few months. She and I actually got along really well, and we spent a lot of time together at parties before the night that Matt and I fucked. When Chris and I began freely hooking up, I was always worried that she and I would cross paths on the nights that I slept over, but it had seemed that Matt and her hadn’t been spending any time together for weeks. Now that they seemed to be back on again, I couldn’t shove down the red hot jealously burning in my veins.
Sophie giggled, tossing her long black hair over her shoulder. “They didn’t tell you, I presume. I should have just texted you myself, can’t trust these guys to relay information.” She sidled up to Matt as she spoke, wrapping her arm around his waist possessively. Nick scoffed. “I would have told her if she ever left her and Chris’s sex dungeon.” I blushed from Nick once again sharing my business with everyone in his general vicinity, and watched as Matt quickly grabbed Sophie’s arm, pulling it from his waist. “We’re gonna be late, let’s go.” He mumbled, holding onto Sophie’s hand haphazardly as he began leading us to the garage.
As we reached the car, I watched as Matt opened the passenger door for Sophie before getting into the driver’s seat. As Chris opened the door for me, I grabbed his arm and gave it a soft squeeze. “Sit in the back with me?” I asked, looking up at him with doe eyes and adding a whisper of seduction to my voice. He looked down at me with a smirk, arching his eyebrow before following me into the back seat of the car.
I settled into the seat beside him as Matt began pulling out of the garage. It was dark outside, so as I looked up at Chris, all I could see was the burred outline of his gorgeous features. “You okay pretty?” He asked, his voice low as he looked down at me with slight concern. I nodded reassuringly, realizing that I needed to get my act together because even Chris, the most oblivious of the triplets, was picking up on my sudden strange mood. “Just hungry.” I lied, shooting him a forced smile. The car filled with the sound of Nick and Sophie’s laughter as Matt drove. “Oh my god! Matt was telling me…”
I forced myself to tune out the conversation that was happening at the front of the car, willing the night to be over so that I could seethe with jealousy in private. As I tried to absolve my embarrassing bitterness, my eyes fluttered to the rearview mirror, where I caught Matt’s vision already burning into mine. My breath hitched under his intimidating gaze, and even in my growing anger with him I couldn’t ignore the pit of arousal that I felt growing in my core. I knew that he was trying to get some sort of reaction out of me — wanted me to feel the way I was feeling. He had been purposely trying to make me jealous, so I decided that I would do the same.
Keeping my eyes on his, I lifted my leg and draped it across Chris’s lap; causing my short black dress to hitch up to my hips. As if reacting on instinct, Chris immediately responded by bringing his hand to my bare skin, exploring it for a moment before finally leaving it to rest on my upper thigh; just inches from my exposed lace panties. I watched Matt’s gaze darken as his eyes followed his brother’s movements against my skin, and I shot him a menacing smirk before dropping my own hand onto the crotch of Chris’s jeans.
Matt’s eyes widened briefly as he watched my hand delicately run along Chris’s growing bulge, his grip tightening on the steering wheel. Even in the dim light, I could see his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed hard, doing his best to focus on the road despite all of the thoughts that I knew were racing through his head. My gaze was pulled from Matt as I felt Chris’s warm mouth against my ear. “Didn’t get enough earlier, baby?” He whispered, nibbling delicately against my soft earlobe. His hand moved even higher along my leg, until his fingers reached my barely-covered heat. Satisfied with the reaction that I was getting from Matt as well as the feeling of Chris’s fingers gently dancing against my core, I felt my anger begin to diminish and instead be replaced with burning desire.
Turning to face Chris, I placed wet, open-mouthed kisses along his sharp jawline, causing him to grab onto my hip and pull me so close to him that I was practically on his lap. His hand laced through my hair and he jerked my head up before attaching his lips to mine. I palmed him roughly through his jeans as his tongue slipped into my mouth, and even with my back turned I could still feel Matt’s fiery gaze burn my skin.
“Oh my GOD! Get off of each other!” Nick shrieked, turning to face Chris and I in the backseat. “I swear to fucking god I will punch you both in the mouth.” Chris pulled his lips from mine, a goofy smile taking over his face. “You’re such a fuckin’ spazz Nick.” He retorted as he tried to pull my dress down slightly. Nick replied by burying his face in his hands and screaming dramatically. “A SPAZZ? You were swallowing my best friend’s face in DIRECT EARSHOT from me! You’re lucky I didn’t just projectile vomit on you.” Nick retaliated, smacking the leather seat as he spoke.
“We’re here.” Matt deadpanned, stopping the argument between his two brothers as he parked his car. I looked up at him once more through the mirror, but this time his eyes refused to meet mine. Once parked, Matt turned off the ignition sharply, his jaw clenched, before immediately jumping out of the car as if it was on fire. I noticed the slightly concerned look on Sophie’s face before she tentatively followed him.
Feeling surprisingly giddy, I crawled out of the back seat and hopped out of the car; embracing the cool breeze against my burning hot cheeks. “Let’s eat!” I exclaimed as Chris climbed out after me and pulled me harshly against his front; bringing his lips to mine again. As he kissed me, I listened as the rest of our group began walking in the direction of the restaurant. His hands moved from my waist down to my ass, where he squeezed gently before pulling his mouth from mine just enough to speak. “I know what you’re doing, Y/n.” He whispered against my lips.
Feigning innocence, I looked up at him through my eyelashes as I waited for him to continue. “What, one night with Matt wasn’t enough for you?” He asked, his gentle voice laced with amusement as his hand snaked up my dress, finding my clit through my lace thong and rubbing soft circles against it. Nibbling on my bottom lip, I shook my head no. Chris smirked at my admission, and his eyes filled with an indecipherable look that made goosebumps raise on my skin. “It’s okay baby, you know I don’t mind.” He replied, his encouraging words and working fingers making my stomach tie itself into knots. Running his middle finger through my soaked folds, he shot me a charming smile. “I’ve already showed you how well I can share.”
With that, he gave my ass a sharp slap before placing one final kiss to my nose. Using his grip on my flesh, he guided me in the direction of the restaurant where everyone was waiting for us in front of the doors. My head spun from the notion that Chris was so willing to let me have exactly what I wanted, which coincidentally was both him and his brother. I practically floated in the direction of the restaurant, riding the high that his words gave me, until I noticed Matt pressed against Sophie, peppering her with kisses.
Matt’s eyes lifted as he heard Chris and I approach and, upon noticing Chris’s arm draped around my waist, appeared to deliberately deepen the kiss he was sharing with Sophie. I watched as she giggled against his lips, seeming to still be oblivious to the unspoken battle playing out before her. Doing my best to seem care-free, I let Chris guide me into the restaurant and to our table. I sat down with Chris to my left and Nick to my right, while Matt and Sophie sat across from us.
As the waiter set down menus in front of each of us, Matt’s eyes briefly locked with mine across the table. I watched as he seemed to be studying the dynamic between me and Chris. His eyes traveled from Chris’s long arm that was draped over the back of my chair to his fingers lazily drawing circles against my exposed shoulder. Sitting much closer and under a much brighter light, I suddenly felt deeply exposed in the restaurant with Matt’s eyes on me. I did my best to ignore him, keeping my sight on the menu in front of me as I listened to Chris, Nick, and Sophie’s chatter.
As I continued to study the menu, I could see Matt pull Sophie’s chair closer to him in my peripheral vision. Swallowing harshly, I used all of my strength to keep my eyes trained to the blurred words in front of me instead of focusing them on Matt’s hand grabbing onto Sophie’s upper thigh. Feeling overwhelmed with conflicting desires, I wanted nothing more than to sink into my chair and disappear from the restaurant. Every time I saw Matt move closer to Sophie or heard them speaking to one another in hushed tones I felt flushed with anger, yet my core flooded with arousal as it flexed around nothing.
The waiter came to begin taking our order. Once it was my turn and everyone’s attention was on me, I suddenly felt the all-consuming need to get away from the table; sure that if any one of them looked at me hard enough, they would be able to pick up on my unspeakable desire. Unable to take it anymore, I suddenly shot up from my seat. “Uh, I — Chris, just order me, uh, order me whatever. I’ve just gotta, um, run to the washroom!” I stammered, taking off in the direction of the restrooms before anyone had the chance to reply.
My head spun as I walked calmly towards the hallway leading to the washrooms, sure that once I took a few moments to collect myself that I would be okay to go back out there. I took deep breaths as I approached the women’s washroom, just a few short steps away. I just needed to be away from the group. Away from the bright lights. Away from Nick’s scolding tone. Away from Sophie. Away from—
Just as I placed my hand on the door knob, I gasped as I felt a strong hand grab my arm, stopping me in my tracks. “Y/n.” That familiar voice was in my ear, barely above a whisper; his words hot against my skin. Snapping around to face him, I was immediately taken aback by our close proximity. Blaming it on my maddening arousal, I quickly recovered before crossing my arms over my chest defensively. “What’s going on?” Matt asked, his eyes filled with the same look of frustration that was surely mirrored in my own.
“Nothing’s ‘going on’,” I lied, doing my best to keep my voice steady and inconspicuous. “Go back to your fuck buddy over there,” I nudged by head in the direction of our table, out of sight from where we stood outside of the washrooms, “Don’t want her thinking she’s wasting her time tonight.” I cringed at the bitterness of my words, and mentally apologized to Sophie for them. Matt’s eyes narrowed. “She’s alright out there.” He replied, his words biting the air between us. “Come on Matt,” I scoffed, leaning against the wall, “If you want her to crawl into your bed tonight the least you could do is spend time with her over dinner.” My voice was filled with indignation, but I was no longer able to control it.
“She’s not crawling into my bed tonight.” He replied, his hushed tone somehow still sounding exasperated. I let my head fall back, releasing a sarcastic laugh. “Oh really? Then why the fuck did you invite her to dinner?” I replied, finding his lie humorous. “Maybe because I knew it would drive you crazy.” He growled, taking a single step forward to close the gap between us. My confidence wavered at his sudden change in personality; the Matt that I was so used to now long gone. I watched, silent and stunned, as his eyes flicked down to my lips for a moment before meeting my gaze again. “You don’t like seeing me touch her, do you?”
I tried to maintain my expressionless face and avoid reacting to his question, although my body had already begun to vibrate with desire. “Why would I? I’m fucking Chris, remember?” I smirked, satisfied by the reminder that he’s not the only one who can play this game. Taking one step closer to him, I leaned close — so close that I could smell his cologne and see his pulse hammering against his neck — before whispering. “His cum is still drying to my legs.”
Matt’s breath hitched at my words, and as I pulled back slightly I watched as his eyes darkened with lust. He took one final step towards me, his lips almost touching my ear as he seemed to struggle against whatever was running through his mind. Recognizing the shift of energy in the space between us, I decided to prod him even more. “What, now you’ve got nothing to say? You jealous or something?”
He stayed silent for a moment, the only sound being his heavy breathing against my ear. The feeling of him so close to me was suddenly heightening my senses, and I grew overwhelmed with heat. It wasn’t long before my breathing began to match his — ragged and desperate — as I waited impatiently for what he had to say. Suddenly, a sharp gasp fell from my lips as Matt’s hands ran up my bare thighs, snaking up to the sides of my skirt where he hungrily squeezed my fleshy hips; pulling me harshly against him so that I could feel his throbbing bulge against my radiating heat. As soon as my body made contact with his, a soft whine fell from his lips before he finally managed to whisper.
“My car.”
Unable to even attempt to think twice, I began following him back through the restaurant door and towards his car. As the cool air hit my skin, Matt grabbed me and began pulling me in the direction of the black car as though he couldn’t wait another second. Frantically, Matt opened the back door and hurried me inside, quickly following after me and closing the door shut behind him. Before I could even process what was happening, he pulled me onto his lap, his hands roaming everywhere at once as he claimed my mouth in a bruising kiss.
In an instant, all of the tension that had been simmering between us all night came to a boil, and I found myself at the mercy of his devouring lips. I whined against his greedy, open mouth as I straddled his lap, my dress riding up to my waist. His uncharacteristic aggression and desperation caught me off guard, but I embraced it with a submissive moan. One of his hands tangled in my hair while the other moved to grip my ass firmly, grinding me against his hard length. I gasped at the relief that the friction was giving me, and as I did he released a sharp hiss. “Fuck, Y/n.”
Responding to his powerful control over me, I rolled my hips against his bulge, relishing in the satisfaction of its rigidity against my clothed heat. “Matt.” I cooed, my lungs constricting from what could only be described as deep-rooted, insatiable need. Looking down to our writhing bodies, I recognized the small pool of arousal that I had already left on him; tainting his jeans a darker shade of blue. Following my gaze, he looked down and discovered the wet patch as well. Cursing under his breath, his eyes seemed to lock onto the spot as he continued to roll my hips against his lap shamelessly. “What got you this soaked?”
My eyes rolled to the back of my head and I bit down on my bottom lip as I ignored his question, caught up in the waves of pleasure surging through my body. In my silence, Matt groaned before his hips bucked up involuntarily to meet mine. “Answer me Y/n,” He said, his voice low and menacing, as he grabbed my chin and forced me to meet his wild stare, “Is all this for Chris?” My brows knit together in almost uncomfortable pleasure, and I writhed at his obvious jealousy. Looking down at him through hooded lids, I shook my head slowly.
Matt’s eyes searched mine intensely, his grip on my chin tightening slightly as he demanded an answer. “Then tell me who made you make this mess.” He rasped out, his free hand sliding up my thigh to press firmly against my clothed clit. Reacting immediately to his thumb’s pressure against my clit, I let out a desperate cry as I rolled my hips against it. I tugged at the base of his t-shirt before running my hands along his skin beneath it. “Y-you Matt.” I finally replied, growing wild with lust.
“Fuck,” Matt breathed out, his dilated pupils radiating desire. “Get these fucking panties off now.” He whispered, but without giving me the chance to slide them down my legs he grabbed onto the waistband; ripping them in half and leaving me exposed. I whimpered from the raw desperation of his actions just as he pulled down the top of my dress; letting my tits pop free before he slipped one hungrily into his mouth. Without wasting another moment, Matt grabbed onto my ass with both hands and used his grip to lift me up. Gasping, I leaned against the driver’s side door as Matt propped me up in the air; my legs spread and my glistening core just centimetres from his face.
My legs shook in anticipation as Matt seemed to take a moment to admire my cunt, his eyes glossy and unblinking. “The things you fucking do to me…” He muttered, more to himself than to me, before finally attaching his mouth to my throbbing clit. Immediately, my back arched off of the seat behind me as Matt’s tongue drew relentless circles against my bundle of nerves. His lips acted as the perfect suction, drawing guttural moans from the depths of my soul. My hands slipped into his hair, holding him in place as I fell into an erotic trance. “Oh god…oh god…” I shakily cried out like a mantra, unable to control any part of myself as his tongue set my soul on fire.
Matt released soft moans against my sensitive skin, his own satisfaction palpable as he devoured me into shambles. My clit responded to his movements like an obedient servant, sending jolting shockwaves through my body on each lick. “Fuck M-Matt.” I whined out, incapable of forming any cohesive thoughts besides the dizzying image of his blissed face contentedly pressed to my folds. I grew hyper aware of each movement of his tongue, and recognized the steady pattern that he stuck to; consistently drawing me closer and closer to an orgasm. My body began to contract, and I found myself writhing under his firm grasp on me as I nearly fell apart in his hands.
“G-gonna cum!” I cried out, my own squeaky voice unrecognizable as I was washed away by a full-body orgasm. My grip on Matt’s hair tightened as his tongue worked tirelessly against my pulsing clit, making sure to work me through the crashing waves of my orgasm. Moans spilled past my gasping lips as I trembled against the driver’s seat, so far gone that I could barely feel anything beyond the radiating pleasure surging through every nerve in my body.
Even after I had ridden through my high, Matt continued running his warm tongue through my folds, collecting all of my arousal on his tongue and moaning in satisfaction. My body jolted as I came down from my high, needy for more. As if he was reading my mind, Matt finally pulled himself away from my core, glancing up at me once before admiring my swollen folds once again. I watched as he sucked on his bottom lip, using his grip on me to spread me open even more and marvelling at the mess he had made.
Growing impatient, I squirmed under his gaze. “Matt,” I whined, watching him as he looked up at me with a smirk. “Somethin’ on your mind sweetheart?” He asked, his voice filled with amusement. Incapable of caring anymore, I nodded fiercely. “Say it.” He taunted, bringing his finger to my opening and sliding it in, before quickly pulling it back out and admiring my slippery wetness that was now dripping from it. “N-need your c-cock.” I admitted, earning a grateful smile from him.
After sucking his finger clean, he gently lowered me back onto his lap. “You’re drowning in your own juices thinking about my cock, huh?” He began unbuckling his belt with shaky hands. The needier I became, the farther my walls dropped, yet I was still shocked by the filthy words that spilled from his mouth. My eyes fell to his hands as they worked against his shiny belt, and I licked my lips hungrily. “Haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.” I admitted, unable to pull my eyes away from his crotch as I waited for him to remove his jeans. “I need it so fucking bad Matt.” I confessed, my voice wavering.
The moment his belt came undone, he cursed under his breath, clearly turned on by my desperation. “Haven’t been able to stop thinking about you, either.” He admitted, his soft words riddled with gruffness, before shoving his jeans and boxers down just enough to free his rock-hard length. My eyes soaked in the sight of his swollen member, deep veins travelling up to his dark red tip where a bead of pre-cum was slowly dripping. After a moment, he grabbed my hips and yanked me back down onto his lap, the head of his cock pressing against my entrance. He groaned at the contact. “Fuck, so soaked.”
My core trembled in anticipation, the heat of his raw member pressing against me almost too much for me to bare. “S-sorry.” I replied, feeling my arousal begin to drip onto his thighs. “Don’t ever apologize for being this wet for me.” He breathed, the proximity of our bodies seeming to calm him slightly as one of his hands slid up my waist and up to my tits; where he toyed with my nipples gently. “Jesus.” He breathed, voice hitching as he adjusted me in his lap, his tip just barely entering me.
As he sunk me down his length, my jaw dropped as I felt my walls begin to stretch around his head as it crested my entrance. I was still raw from Chris earlier in the day, and I whined softly from the intoxicating mix of pain and pleasure. Noticing my sensitivity, Matt released a sharp hiss. “You okay?” He asked, holding me still for a moment. I nodded rapidly, desperate to be filled. “Y-yes.” I replied shakily. Matt let out a strained groan as I began pushing myself further down his shaft, rolling his hips upward to bury another inch inside me.
“You f-fill me so g-good.” I moaned as I slowly took more and more of him. “Fuck, don’t say shit like that sweetheart.” His nails dug into my hips as he pushed me down further, finally bottoming out deep inside me. A gruff moan escaped his lips once every inch of him was engulfed by my pussy, and he gave me a moment to adjust to the pressure. He must have felt my walls begin to relax, because after a moment be began lifting me up slowly, until just the tip remained inside of me; teasing. Then, with a powerful thrust, he slammed me back down burying himself to the hilt once more.
I gasped as all of the air left my lungs at the feeling of his cock filling my insides. My nails dug into his shoulders as I struggled to keep my composure while he slammed me up and down his powerful length. “Fuck, Y/n. F-feel so g-good.” His voice strained with lust, he kept one hand on my hip and the other moved to my throat, gently squeezing as he began to drive up into me. He began fucking me with brutal intensity, his movements so much angrier and desperate than the last time; all of his emotions on full display. “C’mon baby, n-need to see you l-lose your m-mind.” He groaned, his head falling back against the headrest.
“Fuck!” I cried out, completely engulfed in the pleasure of Matt taking out all of his pent-up frustration on me. “W-want your cock a-all to m-myself!” I moaned, so recklessly caught up in him that I didn’t care how greedy I sounded. In response, Matt grabbed onto my hips and flipped me so that I was the one in the seat. Leaning over me, he pulled the lever so that the seat moved back, making me lay down slightly. He only took a brief moment to adjust himself between my legs before plunging himself back into me, slamming his cock relentlessly through my spongey walls.
“Fuck, you’re so selfish,” He hissed, slamming into me harder with each thrust, “I have to hear you moaning my brother’s n-name almost every goddamn night but you d-don’t want me to fuck anyone else?” Recognizing the despair in his tone, I grabbed onto his fluffy brown hair, tugging at the roots gently as I smirked at him through hooded lids. “Does anyone else f-feel as g-good as me?” I asked, my voice punctuated by each of his thrusts. “You’ve got t-to be fucking k-kidding me.” Matt growled, his pace turning almost punishing if it weren’t for the anguish of his voice. Growing even more aroused by his state, I bit my bottom lip flirtatiously. “D-does Sophie f-feel this good?” I asked again, knowing his answer just by the look across his face.
“N-no.” He huffed out, snapping his hips into me harshly as though this fact was distressing. “N-not this g-good.” He added. His hand slid from my throat to grasp my chin roughly; forcing eye contact. His harsh grip along with his words drove me crazy, and I felt animalistic as I stuck my tongue out; running it along his salty skin. “You’re making me lose my fuckin’ mind.” He groaned, his eyes locked on mine intensely.
I greedily pulled his thumb into my mouth, wrapping my lips around it before sucking on it fervently. Obsessed with the new-found power I had over him, I locked my arms around his waist as he continued pumping into me. I moaned, my lips vibrating around his thumb before I let it drop from my mouth. I watched through my eyelashes as his eyes glazed over, completely lost in the pleasure he was feeling as he seemed to rapidly approach his orgasm.
“N-need you t-to learn how t-to share m-me.” I whined, my body growing burning hot as I fought against my own impending orgasm. “Jesus Chris.” Matt’s grip on me tightened painfully as he slammed into me again and again, his body tense in my hands. “The—the f-fact that you…” He struggled to speak, his cock twitching inside of me, “D-don’t say shit…like that.” He grunted, his rhythm growing sloppier. I dropped my mouth to his neck, leaving open mouthed kisses along his clammy skin. “P-please,” I cried, urgency laced in my words as I balanced on the edge of my orgasm, “N-need both of y-you.”
“You’re gonna fuckin’ k-kill me.” Matt choked out, his movements so sloppy now that I tightened my legs around his waist to hold him steady. His head dropped to my chest for a moment, seeming to contemplate what I was begging him for, before he suddenly grabbed a fistful of my hair; pulling my head up to look at him. My eyes dropped to his swollen red lips as I let him hold me in place. “Please,” I mouthed, “Please f-fuck me w-whenever you w-want. W-whenever Chris isn’t u-using m-me.”
His eyes stayed locked onto mine, burning with possessiveness and desire and telling me that he had moved past his deliberations. He brought his lips to mine and engulfed them in a heated kiss. Pulling away, he kept his forehead pressed to mine as he spoke in a gravelly tone. “When you’re not in Chris’s room, you’re mine.” I bit my bottom lip at his words, their intensity shooting straight to my core. Nodding my head, I felt myself begin to lose the battle. “F-fuck. I’m…I’m s-so close Matt.” I whined.
“Say it,” He begged, his fingers digging into my scalp, “Say you’re m-mine.” I moaned at the feeling of his cock as it began to pulse against my walls, his orgasm so close I could practically feel him falling apart. “I’m y-yours.” I squeaked out, and as soon as the words left my mouth I was consumed by my orgasm. As he continued to pound into me, seemingly re-charged by my words, my legs began to shake and a plethora of moans fell from my lips. “Oh fuck.” Matt choked out as my convulsing walls milked his cock, and as my back arched off of the seat and my nails dug into his skin, I felt his warm seed shoot deep inside my trembling cunt. His hips continued snapping into me as he came undone, guiding both of us through our highs until we simultaneously fell into a peaceful trance.
Matt collapsed forward and I leaned against his sweaty frame; my body heavy with exhaustion. My arms wrapped around his neck, where I brushed the wavy tips of his hair gently as we both came back down to earth. His breath slowly steadied against my neck, his lips brushing feather-light kisses against it as he calmed down. After a moment, I felt his lips turn up into a smile against my skin. “You’re gonna fucking ruin me.” He chuckled. Straightening myself up, he pulled himself off of me and I locked eyes with him. “Do you have a problem with that?” I asked, my voice still breathless. His gaze lingered on mine for a moment, a soft smile still plastered to his face. “I wish I did, but I don’t.” He replied, pressing a gentle kiss to my eyelid before pulling himself slowly out of me.
Finally able to recognize the kind Matt that I was so used to seeing, I smiled in relief. “Well, we should probably get back to the table. I’m sure they’re all wondering where we’ve been.” I sighed before adjusting my dress, wincing as I did from how raw I felt. Matt and I quickly fixed ourselves so that we didn’t look freshly fucked, and before long we were out of the car and walking back towards the restaurant on shaky legs. As we reached the front doors, I whispered to him, “I’ll go sit down first, and you come join us after a couple of minutes.” Matt nodded, shooting me a soft smile before I slipped through the doors and headed back towards our table.
Thankfully Chris, Nick, and Sophie were all laughing; deep in conversation as I arrived at the table meaning they likely didn’t see my limp as I walked towards them. “Hey, you okay? You were gone for so long.” Nick asked with concern once he noticed me. Doing my best to seem casual, I chuckled softly. “Yeah, I’m all good. Just bumped into an old friend in the washroom.” I lied, surprising myself by how quickly I came up with a rather believable cover-up. Seeming to accept my response as the truth, Nick began chattering again to Sophie. Satisfied, I gingerly slid back into my seat beside Chris, shooting him a quick smile. I noticed a glimmer of amusement in his eyes as he peered at me with curiosity.
Just as we had agreed on, a few minutes later Matt appeared at the table. “There he is!” Sophie cheered happily as he sat down beside her. “I thought you got lost!” She attempted to joke, though behind that veil I could see the concern in her features as she examined him closely. I pulled my bottom lip in between my teeth, filled with nerves, as I waited to see what excuse he had come up with. “Sorry, I got an important phone call I had to take.” He replied, the lie slipping off of his tongue effortlessly. That seemed to be enough to satisfy Sophie, as she visibly relaxed before leaning against him cheerfully.
Matt’s lie didn’t seem to work on Chris, however, because in my peripheral vision I noticed him glance between Matt and I; staying completely silent. My breath hitched as I felt him suddenly pull my chair closer to him, and my heart began to race as he gently pushed my legs apart; hidden from everyone else by the table cloth draped over my lap. I felt my cheeks begin to grow warm as I slowly understood that he hadn’t been fooled by Matt and my lies, and I trembled in wait.
Suddenly, I had to stifle a cry as I felt Chris’s finger press against my sore — and completely bare — heat; and I heard his throaty chuckle as his finger ran along the small pool of cum still leaking from my opening. Casually, he swung his arm over my shoulders and pulled me into him. I felt his lips curl into a smile against my burning ears before he whispered in a low tone, “That’s my girl.”
─ ⊹ ⊱ ☆ ⊰ ⊹ ─
#sturniolo triplets#sturniolo smut#sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#matt sturniolo#chris sturniolo fanfic#chris sturniolo x reader#matt sturniolo smut#matt sturniolo x reader#matt sturniolo x you#matthew sturniolo#chris sturniolo smut#chris sturniolo x you#the sturniolos#the sturniolo triplets
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Always a bit puzzled by people saying that anyone who wanted long-term consequences for TotK Zelda's sacrifice are "edgy".
I'm not even particularly in the camp that she should have remained a dragon forever (I think this should have been Ganondorf's fate, it would have been sooo much more impactful than to explode him and move on but anyway). To be honest, I wish the rules for turning back would have been 1) clear 2) active gameplay on the player so that it feels like it's something we have earned, and 3) not make her have amnesia about it and/or at least having her gain some crucial insight because of the experience.
(also: doesn't she crave knowledge? isn't that insanely mean to have her watch over every civilization and every bit of history ever and then take it away from her? kind of dislike how totk privileges the comfort of the player's feelings over what the characters would actually want or need tbh)
To be perfectly honest, I fully expected us needing to turn her back before engaging Ganondorf so we would fight him together, especially since Zelda as a compagnon exists in the game code already (though in a very subdued state). It feels very very strange to me that all of this mechanic of Sages following us existing and yet we never have the very climactic cool Zelda-staple moment of facing Ganondorf or Ganon together (OoT, WW, TP, ST and probably more that I'm forgetting all did this in some way --even BotW had Zelda more involved than in TotK). I'm not sure Mineru was a compagnon that was needed over Zelda honestly, especially given the kind of non-insight she gives us on the zonai (even if the idea of the mecha is cool, it really could have been Zelda using her zonai + sheikah knowledge to pilot one for us or something).
But anyway: yeah, even if this isn't what I would have wanted personally, I think wanting Zelda to remain a dragon is kind of arguably more respectful of her relationship to Link, in a way, that what the game ended up doing. When she enacted this sacrifice, Zelda decided to trust him to such a extent that she lost herself, reciprocated his trust in her and his devotion to her, and now the future of Hyrule exists beyond her and beyond what Hyrule once was, but she trusts them to follow through and be happy and she will watch over them from the stars moving on. It's fine if we manage to save her from that fate, but even if we don't, honestly this sounds like a beautiful story/tragic romance to me, if you want to read it that way. Tragedy doesn't necesserily involve edginess. Fictional pain isn't always mean, or out to get you.
#totk#totk critical#zelda#link#when will my brain return from the imprisoning war...#take it from me: a professional edgelord#but genuinely I was quite disappointed when I realized I wouldn't get to fight alongside Zelda at all#I thought for sure the first descent was a setup for the final descent when we would be reunited#and then confront Ganondorf together#I don't know to me that would have just made sense#she's the one with the most beef with that man Link is honestly just here so she doesn't have to call an über afterward#link doesn't have half as much reasons to want ganondorf dead as zelda does#which didn't help the feeling that I had as much emotional investment in the situation than the friend you call when you get in trouble#ganondorf isn't even directly responsible for zelda returning to the past NOR turning into a dragon! the guy has no idea what's going on!#anyway. this game's plot is very weird.
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RAGBROS CODED SONGS
under the cut bc it’s a long post
Ribs by Lorde - this song has such a longing for the childhood and/or past
“you’re the only friend i need; sharing beds like little kids; we’ll laugh until our ribs get tired”
it makes me think of them staying up past their bedtime and telling stories under a blanket
Shots by Imagine Dragons - there are lyrics about reminiscence and places you used to go with someone
and then of course the obvious “i shot, shot, shot a hole through every single thing that i loved”
i’d say this song is more Diluc-centric for sure, focusing around him realizing “oh God, I fucked EVERYTHING up didn’t i?”
and maybe that realization hits him after he returns to Mondstadt and sees how different Kaeya is
Brother by Madds Buckley - this song was written for Touya and Shoto from BNHA, but it goes along with ragbros as well i think
“i left you alone, in a house and not a home”
“Brother, i watched the sky burn; and all i learned was smoke fills the lungs like a disease”
i want to CRY every single time i hear this song
What’s Wrong by half•alive - just the lyrics “time’s always right to fix what’s wrong”
and maybe both of them think “i should talk to him” every time they see each other but they don’t because they’re scared
also these lyrics are SO kaeya omg
had to take pics bc i wasn’t about to type out ALL of this:



Burning Down by Alex Warren - this ENTIRE song feels like diluc’s internal monologue right after kaeya told him the truth about his origins
once again, way too many lyrics to type out bc i would just be typing the entire song
Achilles Come Down by Gang of Youths - to me, this song feels like people talking to Kaeya after Diluc left
kind of asking for him to come back to them, bc even though he’s an expert at masking his emotions, i KNOW people like Jean and Adelinde would be able to tell that smth was wrong
Oysters in my Pocket by Royal Otis - when you’re young you think you have all the time in the world, and you think things will stay the same
you think you’ll always be with your childhood friends eating popsicles on the back porch and you don’t want to think about the future
and i think that’s what ragbros felt, they thought they would be best friends for the rest of their lives
Nobody’s Soldier by Hozier - both of them broke away from smth they were previously a part of: Kaeya with K’hanriah (probably spelled that wrong idc) and Diluc with the Knights
they’re forging their own paths from what their parents expected of them
Evelyn Evelyn by Evelyn Evelyn - this song is about two conjoined twins (Eve and Lyn) and how close they are, and then how they want to get away from each other
how one wants to separate and the other doesn’t know what they would do if separated
“We grew up so very close”
Harpy Hare by Yaelokre - just watch this:
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP86yYPpJ/
crepus wanting to keep his kids safe and then everything happens on That Night :(
Wires by The Neighborhood - honestly i feel like this song can go both ways
either diluc about kaeya after his return, or kaeya about diluc after his return
Two Birds by Regina Spektor- this song just speaks for itself tbh
a lot of people use this for ragbros animatics and it 100% fits them
Seventeen by MARINA - just the lyrics “could never tell you what happened the day i turned seventeen”
(yes ik diluc was 18)
bc it seems so impossible for them to talk about, such a HUGE topic to tackle and they’re scared of it. scared of talking about it and everything going wrong
but anyway. diluc’s 18th bday is when their worlds crumbled around them. how are they supposed to explain that to anyone else but each other?
The Fall by half•alive - “it’s like sharing a dream with someone, once you say it out loud it can’t be undone. i cant trust the fall”
they would trust each other, but they can’t anymore
diluc thought they would always be brothers
kaeya didn’t know things would fall apart like that
they trust each other when it comes to things like work and keeping Mondstadt safe, but when it comes to each other? it’s just so hard


Traitor by Daughtry - another song that speaks for itself
“the only thing worse than a hater, is a traitor”
definitely diluc talking about kaeya here, probably in those years he was away
My Alcoholic Friends by The Dresden Dolls - kaeya. this song is kaeya. 100%, through and through, kaeya.
after diluc left, he feels lost. he’s trying to figure out what to do with his life now that the person he shared it with is gone

i know you guys have sent songs in my asks and i’ll def be looking through them!! i just moved back from uni and have been INSANELY busy unpacking and everything
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What hindu gods/deities are lgbt (I'm sorry if this is rude or ignorant I just wish to learn as I've heard some are)
Dw it's neither rude nor ignorant. Now before I start I do wanna say that almost all the queerness we see in Hindu mythology is highly subtextual most of the time, which is like pretty obvious cuz these were the ancient times. So this might lead to a varied number of interpretations, and I can only offer the same. But most of them are pretty convincingly queer, so let's get into it cuz why tf not. (This is gonna be a loooooong post so buckle up)
Vishnu
This fella is probably the most pan-coded deity in the entire pantheon. Extremely comfortable with both his masculine and feminine side, Vishnu can sometimes be considered one of the peak genderfluid icons out there. His avatar, Krishna, despite being referred to as the Parampurush (in other words the manliest man in the entire universe), his physical appearance (which is what is considered to be a very feminine body for a man today, i.e., slender and soft) breaks the stereotype of what masculine man should look like. There are paintings of him and Radha where I've stared for like a hot minute trying to figure out which one is Radha (mostly in grayscale cuz otherwise their complexions are a dead giveaway) and yet, he slays it like a badass.
Then we also have Mohini, the goddess of beauty probably the best seductress out there, and the only female avatar of Vishnu. Through her having a union (yk what they mean by that) with Shiva (AHEM subtext amirit), Vishnu gave birth to Ayyappa, and wouldja look at dat he has two dads, which was actually prophesized. Mohini in one of the versions of Mahabharata (not the original one) ALSO slept with Iravan (Arjun's son) the night before he was gonna offer himself as a sacrifice for the Kurukshetra war. Reason was that Iravan had a wish to get married and spend the night with his wife before dying, and wishing his wife would mourn for him after his death. So Krishna felt bad for him, turned himself into Mohini and married him. The next day she held her husband's body and mourned for him like any wife would. We can also go back to the time where he sported (make of that word what you will) with Arjuni (female version of Arjun) as well as the female version of Narad (for a year in the latter's case).
In short, we can see how chill Krishna is with his fluidity with sexuality and gender, so much so that it's hard to put a label on him sometimes, which is fine. But yes interpreting him as queer wouldn't necessarily be a preposterous claim after all.
Shiva
Tbh Shiva is also pretty queer-coded, given his union with Mohini (and yes he specifically ASKED Vishnu to turn into her and hence he KNEW it was his best friend after all), and him turning into a woman to join Krishna's leela that one time, which also denotes that he's pretty confident in his gender fluidity as well, to some extent. He also has a sort of female avatar, who's actually very underrated. I think it's called Shivani. Also no one can deny the tension between Shiva and Vishnu let's be real here. They even have a ship name- Harihar, PLUS that "Vishnu is in the heart of Shiva and Shiva is in the heart of Vishnu" line. Btw this was a joke, but now you know why they're one of the popular ships of Hindu mythology. I personally have very neutral stance to the kind of bond they share, whether you call it platonic or something else.
(Note that I personally do not consider Ardhanarishwar and Vaikunthakamalaja as any genderfluid thingy because I just see them as literal fusions of the two couples, but yes many consider these two fused versions of Parvati-Shiva and Lakshmi-Narayan respectively to be gender-nonconforming, or non-binary of some sort.)
Lakshmi
Why did I add her here? Because I have a feeling she might be bi, given the fact that her husband is also technically her wife, considering we take Mohini into account, who I'm pretty sure she loves just as much as she loves Vishnu. But again, that's just my take on it.
Agni
Now he's one of the more popular queer-coded Hindu gods, specifically known for his implied poly-esque relationship with his wife Svaha and Soma (the wind god). Now many sites on Google have claimed Soma to be his husband, but I am yet to find a scriptural evidence for that claim, so I suggest you to take their words with a grain of salt. But what IS true is that these two guys do share a pretty profound bond. There was also this one instance where Soma went to a mountain and Agni followed him. Then both of them at the top of that mountain, 'became one' (what does that mean? not sure but it sure as hell sounded romantic. anyways). Also Soma is considered the "seed" and Agni the "progenitor" hence releasing the "seed". Now again what does that mean? Idk but that's sus as hell for sure.
Plus, Agni is also very well-known to be the (oral) receptor of Shiva's (and sometimes Soma's but not sure about the second one) semen, which he then flung into Ganga cuz it was too hot to bear for him, and that's how Kartikeya/Murugan/Skanda (Shiva and Parvati's son and a God of war) was born. So yeah.
Mitra-Varuna
These two.... are another pair of popular queer-coded Hindu deities. They're almost always summoned and worshipped together, and you can say they have canonically.... well had a union, and good news is none of them became a woman for the deed. Their union is recorded in the Shatapatha Brahmana 2.4.4.19, where Mitra is said to have "implanted his seed in Varuna" (hmmm nothing homosexual going on here) during the waning moon. Many people consider this a metaphor for the cyclic nature of celestial phenomena so it's upto you to interpret it however you want.
Now they also give off that sunshine x grumpy vibe, with Mitra being the god of friendship, sun, daylight, dawn and stuff while Varuna is the god of the waters, moon, nighttime, dusk etc. Plus, the latter has anger issues but he has a bubbly Mitra (pun intended) to calm him down for dat :D.
They are also known for siring two sages, Agastya and Vasistha after they accidentally released and mixed their semen into a pot as a result of getting enchanted by Urvashi (one of the apsaras or celestial nymphs).
Budh and Ila
Budh is technically an AMAB non-binary (or intersex) deity (and technically the planet Mercury) born to Chandra (who's also synonymous to Soma most of the time) and Tara, to put it simply, and got cursed to be neither male nor female because Chandra had an affair with someone else's wife -_- (Tara was the wife of Brihaspati, or Jupiter, who was also the guru of the gods).
Ila is another genderfluid deity. Some versions of the myth says they were born a woman, some say they were born a man called Sudyumna, while some say they were born a woman, but since their parents wanted a son, Mitra-Varuna (who they preyed to) changed their gender and Sudyumna was born (but then there was some issue with the rituals, which led to the duo to turn him back to a woman, which is when they took the name of Ila. Ik, too much gendershifting going on, bear with me). Anyhoo they got this genderfluidity from Shiva's spell and every month they'd change sex from Sudyumna to Ila and back to Sudyumna and so on. Budh got enchanted by Ila and married her, and bore the Pururavas with her.
Later on, some versions say Ila permanently turned into a man with Parvati's boon. But personally interpreting, Budh was technically still married to Sudyumna so..... idk what happened to them afterwards tho. I hope they were still spouses...
#I've probably forgotten many others#im high on tiredness excuse me#feel free to add yall#imma go sleep#hindu mythology#hindu myths#hindu gods#vishnu#lord vishnu#krishna#krishnablr#hindublr#desiblr#lord shiva#shiva#lakshmi#mohini#agni#soma#mitra#varuna#hinduism#hindu#mythology#desi tumblr#desi tag#desi side of tumblr
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freedom of nature's gifts
h/alsin b/g3 allergy, kink tav, 2.1k for those not familiar with the fandom: enormous kinky beefcake bear-coded druid who is felled by nothing wanders off into the woods to sneeze without disturbing his companions for those familiar: pls enjoy astarion being an absolute bitch about it for .5 seconds regular goodies: allergies, vouyuerism, partner with the kink extra flavor: giant man, giant snz, formerly indomitable force meets pollen, forced politeness, h/alsin being a sap tbh THIS IS JUST FOR ME I WROTE THIS FOR ME OK SORRY YOU HAVE TO SEE IT
“And here I thought druids were supposed to appreciate all of nature’s many charms.” Astarion’s musical voice drips with amusement. Tav picks up on it outside his tent as the lithe shadow of the elf passes over the sun drenched silk of his doorway. Just behind him, Karlach’s larger figure marches diligently along the same path.
“Oh, he’s appreciating them all right,” she snorts.
Tav rubs his eyes and rolls over. It’s morning, or at least it feels like it from the ache in his spine and the slightly cool air whisking over from the lake. He picks his head up and tries to follow the thread of conversation. His companions are talking about a druid, so they must mean Halsin. Tav hasn’t seen him since the night before.
Memories come warm and sticky like honey. Halsin’s hazel eyes fond in firelight. A low chuckle. A massive hand settled onto the small of Tav’s back. His heart quickens just at the thought.
Outside, Karlach sighs with a note of sympathy. “Never heard anyone sneeze so much in my life.”
Tav’s heartbeat nearly catapults out of his chest at that. His fingers fist in his blankets before he tears them away and scrambles up. Despite wishing to burst free from the tent like a demon, he tries to make his movements as unhurried as possible. It’s with great effort that he emerges from his sleeping arrangements without appearing impatient and affects a bored glance over at the others as they settle around the warm embers from last nights campfire.
“Morning,” Tav says and makes a show of scrubbing his eyes.
“Good morning to you too, darling,” Astarion purrs, “And aren’t you looking lovely?”
“Heya, soldier. You sleep okay?” Karlach waves.
Tav nods. His patience has limits, however. “What were you guys talking about?”
Karlach gestures back over her shoulder towards the tree line, “Halsin. Surprised you didn’t hear him earlier this morning. Poor guy was sneezing his head off before he crawled off to the woods to do it in private.”
The warm flooding of pleasure in Tav’s stomach doesn’t stop his momentary concern. “Is he alright?”
Astarion’s eyes glitter with amusement, “He says it’s the flowers growing nearby setting him off.”
The vampire looks positively delighted to be delivering said information, as if he knows what it’s doing to Tav. Tav knows that’s impossible, and Astarion is clearly just tickled by the irony of it all, but it still makes his cheeks flush with unexpected warmth.
“A druid with allergies! Ha!” Astarion claps his hands once, “You can’t make this up.”
“I should go see if he needs anything,” Tav chews the inside of his lip. His body feels like it’s full of needles.
Thankfully, he has a well-known weak spot when it comes to Halsin. His abrupt need to go to check on him isn’t exactly out of the ordinary, nor is it any cause for suspicion. Astarion merely waves him off with a delicate hand and Karlach nods sagely. “Tell him he can come back any time, big guy’s too hard on himself.”
“I’d rather he stay out there,” Astarion balks, “I’d like to preserve my hearing, thank you very much.”
Tav leaves them to squabble and heads for the tree line where Karlach indicated. He knows he should probably change into something other than the clothes he slept in but he’s too warm already and the thought of delaying getting to Halsin makes her skin feel even more prickly and sharp.
—
Given how familiar he is with the volume with which Halsin can expel an irritant, Tav has some idea of what he’s getting into. Even still, the first far off sneeze he manages to catch once he’s in proximity stuns him with its power. The druid still has to be a few hundred feet off but Tav hears it clear as day. It's an unrushed, heavy thing with so much of Halsin’s voice in it, his knees go weak.
It only takes him a matter of moments to close in on his lover’s position. And when he does, the sight there unravels him completely.
Tav has never seen Halsin at the mercy of anything that wasn’t his animal form. That particular loss of control has always been wickedly erotic to him as well, just for the sheer rarity of it. It's not something Halsin enjoys succumbing to, however. The first time it happened when they made love, he’d been apologetic about it. Sheepish, even.
Halsin is a man who is undaunted by much of anything. It’s not surprising that the few things able to bring him to his knees are difficult for him to come to grips with. Tav thinks surrender must be a strange concept for a man who has burdened himself with nothing but crippling responsibility for over a millennia. When is the last time Halsin let himself truly be vulnerable to something? Does he remember how to surrender?
Tav would argue that yes, he does, because that's the only word that describes what’s happening here.
Halsin’s sitting under the cover of a tree on a large stump. He’s clearly been in the throes of this fit for some time, true to Astarion and Karlach’s report. Evidenced by the redness of his nostrils, the tears slicked down his tattooed cheek and the limp handkerchief laid open in his massive palm. The man appears breathless, panting with indulgent, open-mouthed gasps as his nostrils swell. He doesn’t even bother to open his eyes as he lets another clockwork sneeze take him.
“huh’uRRSSCHHHH’HOO!”
if he’d been using the handkerchief before, he’s abandoned it now, optioning to simply sneeze down in its general direction rather than try to contain any part of the expulsion. And Tav can see why. There’s hardly any point. Halsin's sizable chest swells with one, languid breath and whatever fire’s been stoked within his sinuses catches again and he sneezes without reprieve.
“hh’RRRAAAASSH’UUE!”
He still hasn’t opened his eyes. Tav wonders how long he’s been stuck like this, in an endless cycle of chest-clearing sneezes with barely a breath between. The idea of it being more than a few minutes is deeply intriguing to him, but also a little worrying. How much can one man possibly sneeze? He’s never seen Halsin like this. In fact, he can count on one hand the number of times he’s seen the druid sneeze. Tav has, after all, been paying attention.
“hh’RrrRSSCHH! hh? Hh! Hh’hhRRUSSh'SHOO!” Halsin teeters on the edge of a third, eyebrows bunched together, an allergic tear sliding down his cheek. He hangs on the precipice for an agonizing moment before roaring with the ferocity of a bear into the final one. “Hh’hhRrAAASSCHHH’uHH!!!”
His shoulders tremble with the force and Tav’s vested interest in the display finally makes room for guilt. He steps forward, purposely landing hard enough on the foliage underfoot to snap a twig and announce his presence.
“Halsin?” He calls.
The druid tenses. He straightens up and his eyes flash over to the treeline, surprised and a little guilty. He attempts a smile as color rises to his cheeks.
“Ah, my heart! I did not hhhea—excuse mhee’hh’WHFFHSHH!” He turns away promptly and smothers the harsh sneeze into his handkerchief, cutting the volume in half.
The propriety he insists on in front of Tav makes Tav’s legs feel like jelly. Moments ago he was sneezing with reckless abandon into the open air without a care in the world, but now he insists on sparing his lover from the display for a reason Tav can't ordain. They've seen each other bloodied and spent a thousand different ways before. How is this any different? Halsin twists away from him further, his massive shoulders swelling as he ducks into the handkerchief again. “H’hWHHFFSSShH!"
“Seven Hells, Halsin,” Tav murmurs. He lays a hand on the man’s back, “Bless you.” "My thhha-"
Tampering back those massive sneezes seems to make them vindictive, and Halsin can’t even get a proper thanks out before he's flinching back into a reflexive fit of them, once more trapped in his sodden handkerchief.
“wFFHSCHH! H’tSSCHh!” Halsin lifts his head and gasps desperately. Tav feels an odd sense of relief as the druid eschews a sense decorum for a cleansing, powerful third. “hhrh’RRSHHH-SHOO!”
“My thanks,” he murmurs directly after, but tends to his nose quickly before turning back to Tav. He sniffles unproductively and Tav notices his nostrils sharpening as they flare in an effort to stave off what he’s sure is another impending sneeze.
Tav gently tucks a lock of auburn hair that’s come loose from a braid behind Halsin’s pointed ear.
“Bless you,” Tav frowns, “How long has this been going on?”
Halsin looks dangerously close to another sneeze, but blinks furiously until the need abates. His auburn lashes look darker with irritated tears. He sniffs as delicately as he can, which Tav can only assume is incredibly unsatisfying, and gives a weak smile.
“The better part of the morning, I fear.”
“You could have woken me,” Tav murmurs, stroking fingers through his long hair.
Halsin chuckles, “I thought I might have, given the racket I was m—ma—ah, oohn...onnce more, apologies—“ He turns away and clamps the handkerchief over his nose and mouth. “h’WHFFHSHH'uhh!"
His lungs fill and he dips lower towards his lap.
“hh'RrSCHH!”
“I believe that was twice,” Tav teases, despite feeling his trousers getting uncomfortably tight.
Halsin lifts his head just enough to try and find a dry edge of the handkerchief. It doesn’t happen in time. His hazel eyes go narrow, unfocused, and he sneezes across it and his knuckles.
“Huh’uSSHH’HOO!”
“Gods, Halsin.” Halsin gives an experimental sniff. When he's certain it's not going to lead to another sneeze, he sags slightly and tilts his head back. "Oak Father preserve me." Tav's delirious at this point. He crouches down to get to Halsin's eye level, his hand lingering on the druid's knee. “How long does this usually go on?” Tav asks, worries for both of them at this point.
Halsin sniffs hard and finally finds the dry edge of the handkerchief, using it rather anticlimactically to dab at his raw nostrils. He blows his nose once while shaking his head. "Truthfully, I'm not certain. It hasn't been this bad in some time." "Would changing shape help?" Halsin chuckles, "Then, I would be sneezing as a bear." "Is that more pleasant?" "Perhaps for some," Halsin's eyes shimmer with sudden mischief beyond the allergic tears. Tav blinks. He takes a moment to process, then gapes. He smacks Halsin's knee and the druid gives a chesty laugh. "You bastard, how long have you known?" Tav asks. "My heart, you are many things, but subtle is not one of them," Halsin knuckles at his reddened nose and gives a warm smile that makes Tav melt on the spot. "Look, it's not like I meant to enjoy your suffering, I--" Halsin holds up a hand, "When have I ever given you the impression that you need apologize for your desires?"
Tav blushes. Halsin continues sniffling and tugs him forward by the hip. As he stumbles closer, Tav reaches for his face. His thumb clears away the track of an allergic tear from Halsin’s scarred cheek. "I do feel bad that you're miserable.”
“If it brings you pleasure,” Halsin says, his voice low, “Then I am not miserable.”
Tav lowers himself into Halsin’s lap. The druids hands dwarf his waist as he supports him, and also prevent him from worrying at his nose as he starts to lose himself to into the persistent tickle once more. Halsin goes to raise an arm but Tav captures it, lowering it back to his hip.
Halsin, to his credit, doesn’t even stop to question it. He lets the sneeze take him over fully, though habit still makes him turn his head as it barrels through him.
“h’HHRRUSSCHHH!”
Now that he’s seated astride him, Tav can feel the way his body clenches. Halsin has to be three hundred pounds of solid muscle, and each one of them turns to steel as he surrenders himself to the sensation. His chest quivers under Tav’s eager hands as he waits torturously for a second and his other hand reaches around the small of his back, holding the smaller man in place as he--
“uh'Hhh-!...huuh...eh'HUHH’ESSH’SHOO!”
Spray dapples in the sunlight from a break in the canopy of trees above. Tav's almost unseated from the man's lap with that one but certainly has no complaints. He's beaming as Halsin sniffles blearily once more and dips close to kiss at Tav's throat. "Tell the Oak Father I said thanks," Tav murmurs in bliss. That earns him a sharp pinch from Halsin, but thankfully no fewer kisses.
#idk if this is even a fandom on snzblr but#it is to ME ok#also hello everyone it's me again with more content specifically catered to my interests#but this time in a fantasy setting#h/alsin#my giant druid beefcake husband#i just know this man has aggressive earth shattering dad snzs and i think everyone should know thanks#snz fic#snz kink#snzfic#snzblr#b/g3 tag#i am leaving on vacation so goodbye for a bit#have this absolutely pure indulgent nothingness before i go
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saw someone talking about "scary dog privilege" on here today and cant find the post again but i guess it refers to when women are bothered less in public when accompanied by a large dog, and bypassing the quibble i have with calling that a privilege, i can absolutely 100% confirm it is true.
i was approached by a 30s-40s single white man wearing the Dipshit Uniform (guy in a baseball cap who looks like he drives an f-150 and has voting opinions i would not agree with) on the street the other day and all he had to talk about was Churchgrim. that he was VERY large, looked like a good boy, obedient, what breed is he, etc. this is the only interaction i get from men in public anymore unless i do not have the dog with me, at which point it goes back to the usual bullshit. however it has to be an actual scary-looking dog and you have to visibly have control of it. this is not why i got a large dog, it's just a side benefit. it probably has a lot to do with the masculine cultural coding of any large dog breed that isnt a poodle or a sight hound more than it does the actual violence potential of the dog, but those two things are related. notably, not a SINGLE man has tried to mansplain dog care or handling to me for five years. not one. i cant explain this because its not like being visible capable at a task or skill will stop them in any other circumstance, including when you are holding a literal firearm.
i remember reading some stupid op-ed from some idiot woman who got a dog "for protection" on her jogs and was baffled when men were not intimidated by her golden fucking retriever (although they should have been; goldens bite a lot, statistically, probably explicitly because people do not take them seriously)
the fact that men's body language and tone of voice has changed so drastically from before when i had a 90lbs black shepherd mix standing next to me is pretty damning tbh. all people both intentionally and unintentionally modulate their communication styles around that type of dog to display respect, interest, or fear, experienced dog people can be identified instantly by their comfort and confidence with the dog, and people with dog phobia are the opposite. the dog instinctively puts himself between me and approaching strangers, probably not out of a defensive instinct in grim's case but because strangers are interesting and he wants to be closer to the object of interest, but the physical barrier this creates is a great benefit to me.
specifically, men talk to me much much much more like they are speaking to another man when the dog is there. part of that is men are often genuinely interested in knowing information about a large dog of grim's type and are not using the dog as an excuse to flirt with or harass me. grim has a phenotype that is familiar to certain experiences within the united states as a "porch dog" or "yard dog" or "farm dog" that everyone who has lived in rural areas has usually known or owned a few notable examples of, and thats a general class of dog that tends to be good at listening and responding to humans and has a lot of opportunities to display intelligence or good judgment, so people with rural experience tend to associate him with good memories. he's also "handsome" in the dog sense because he got to keep his balls until he was 3, on the advice of his vet, and as a result he developed nice-looking musculature and a big thick neck which you dont get on city dogs much. he gets a lot of positive attention from older ladies as well, who you'd think would be afraid of being knocked over, but who are always just besotted with him for reasons i havent quite figured out yet. maybe they like seeing a youngish woman with a dog like this, i know that i feel good and happy when i see younger women and girls in situations where they seem safe or protected to me. i think to myself, "i don't have to worry about her" and i feel relief. observing young women and girls often triggers anxiety for women who are even just a few years older than they are, out of pure empathy. its one reason it's so important to be kind to younger people than you are.
anyway it's damning to the men because of course men don't think rationally that the dog would understand and be offended or angry if they sexually harassed or disrespected me. but they are still on their best behavior because the dog is an implicit threat that i can defend myself. and perhaps not only did they have nothing real to discuss with me before now because they assumed we had nothing in common and that i was an idiot or not human, but they are watching themselves carefully to only express normal human civility. i dont get that from random men without the dog. mostly (not entirely but mostly) i get either casual disrespect/disregard, or outright sexual harassment. when i was younger and less experienced with men and had fewer cycles of these interactions, i was completely unaware of how disrespectful these approaches or comments were, which is the interpretation i can see less-experienced women making now, even if they're my age. and when i was 20, my 30 year old friends seemed pathologically misandrist and defensive to me. it was purely the difference in our actual mileage. that sucks man. wish we could just be normal around people and not have to expect the worst constantly.
anyway, good dog
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Mistakes
Miguel O’Hara x spidey!fem! reader
Will Miguel let you in?
Miguel angst is MY thing fr, this is another self serve fic tbh. GOD i love this one, he’s so damaged and broken like fr we can fix him. I’ll probably do a part 2 bc writing this had be squealling
it’s been a hot minute. i’m on holiday for a month and i genuinely used my phone for this one. giggles

Miguel honestly felt like a ghost story as of late. He had been hiding out in his mancave a lot longer than what was deemed usual by the others and no one really had the incentive to find out what the hell he was doing and why the hell he wasn’t leaving.
More like no one wanted to have their spinal chord ripped out and dangling in front of them.
Miguel was as complicated as ever, his aggression seemed to be boundless and his drive a never ending abundance of determination. Though he was admirable as a leader, he was almost impossible to see through. It was his knack. His ge ne sais quois. He was a calloused man, haunted by demons he couldn’t escape- not because he wanted to, but because he would lose the last memory he had when he was genuinely happy. And that was with his daughter. Who he lost. Who he was responsible for losing. It had been almost a month since anyone had seen him. It was most definitely a period of self isolation for him, but it had been too long for the other spiders without a leader. They needed him, so did you.
It was bothering you now, what the hell was he up to? Did brooding really cost this much time? It seemed either ridiculous or…unsettling. You didn’t know which one you prefered. Day after day or constant wondering sent your mind spinning frok fraction to fraction: all you could do was wonder, be slightly irritated and…concerned about him all at once. Miguel was always on time, always prepared and valued hypervigilance and attentiveness…so why wasn’t he following his own moral code?
You told Gwen that you should check on him to make sure he was still fucking alive. She heavily disagreed with the idea but even Jess didn’t know what had gotten into him. Unlucky for them, they didn’t know the secret spot into his lair you find the first day of getting into the Society. The tour of HQ was quite enlightening, the amount of hidey holes were insane. Your heart was racing at the idea of visiting him unannounced, but you hated this and it was getting frustrating. Hell, you weren’t scared of him and you made it very known to him.
You decided to go late at night when no one else was at HQ. Jesus, if he was still here at 3 in the morning then he really was reeling… and no-one was there to pull him back from the unending void. Miguel’s hidey hole was on his ceiling so you quite literally had crawl through his vents which was very humbling and quite a blow to your blossoming ego. After that embarrassment, you were irked and already impatient. He better have a damn good reason for being like this.
Your crawled out of the vent at let your adhesive fingers crawl around the shadows of his cool, airy lair. Your eyes scanned around, it seemed void of any personality, no personal effects or anythint tying him back to his humanity. It wasn’t surprising but…saddening. You crawled further down the wall to get a closer look. It was a mess: broken tech, metal pieces, vials and serums stewn over the floor like it was just collected dust that just happened to land there. You tilted your head even more- there were weights and water bottles everywhere, he must have been extensively working out…or physically pushing himself as punishment. What really caught onto you though was the many monitors that were indented with a fist…his fist. Your mood soured at the latter. Turning your head to his platform, you finally found him, standing snd staring at his orange screens blankly, breathing heavily. His back tense and his gaze weary as he watched the last good memory he had with his daughter play out on his screen. In this light you could see the illumination on his cheeks. He’d been crying. The thought alone made you freeze. The portrait of the Miguel you knew was crumbling between your fingers, as you glanced at the screen you saw him happy, smiling. You weren’t sure if he’s done that ever since then.
You crawled out of the shadows, inching further and further down the wall next to the platform, wanting to make your presence known. When was the last time anyone comforted this man? When was the last time he wasn’t filled with grief and anger?
“Miguel?” You say softly as not to startle him, but with his lack of Spider senses he definitely was startled. He jumped and grabbed a broken monitor and threw it at you, it didn’t take much to dodge him but a look of concern painted your face.
“H-How did you get in?” He bellowed but you just hopped off the wall and onto his platform, not giving him the time of day to adjust himself to the fright you have him.
He definitely was working out again, he was bigger since you last saw him…but face to face, he seemed so deliriously exhausted.
“That’s not important right now.” You responded nonchalantly but oddly seriously at the same time.
“Why are you here?” Miguel eyes were gleaming red, he had a particularly awful few days, weeks, he didn’t need to see the horror of another face seeing who he really was. His nostrils flared as you acted so careless, who the hell did you think you were?
Your back leaned against his desk as you paused for a moment, not sure if you wanted to be truthful or not. “I wanted to see you.” You say sincerely and Miguel shot you a perplexed look. No one saw him for the sole purpose of just seeing him, not that he can recall anyways. “You aren’t the easiest person to get a hold of right now.” You raised your eyebrow at him.
“I don’t want to be.” He grunted truthfully, averting his gaze away from you before turning into the snarky Spiderman he’s known to be. “But yeah, adorable. Really, really interesting, very cute. I was going to say fuck off and leave instead but yes, this is worth my time.” He bit back sarcastically. Anger was running through your veins at his response. God, he was such an ass sometime and he needed to know but instead you did the thing you were sure to regret later: being kind to him when he was like this. You took a deep breath to regain a cool and sentient composure.
“Look, I know you’re going through a lot right now so I’m going to disregard that.”
“I don’t want you here.” Miguel pinched the bridge of his nose and fell back into his chair, completely finished with all of this.
“Well tough shit.” You glared at him, sighing and then offering a sympathetic smile.
Miguel didn’t say anything, he knew a battle with you would pour salt into the wound and prove to be fruitless. So you both sat in silence and observing each other’s purpose. The tension between you both was palpable, so you decided to test the risky waters.
“How old was Gabriella?” You say gently, giving him a trusting look. If only you could get him to open up, the panic and anxiety would start to decrease if he just talked about all of this to someone who cared about him. As much as you hated to admit it, you did.
Miguel’s face froze as you asked him that, he wasn’t sure whether to lunge at you or not by asking him such a thing. He was too tired to argue or fight, he didn’t have it in him anymore. He was breaking and he didn’t want it to be infront of you.
“Nine.” He mumbled, staring away from you as if he was ashamed. “When I lost her…she was nine.” A sliver of sadness fell through you at the sentiment. It’s a new feeling for Miguel, someone actually having the guts to ask him these things. His suspicious look starts to turn into a frown, a mixture of anger and sadness. He didn’t know what to feel.
“I know I don’t matter at all in this situation, but it’s not your fault and you deserve forgiveness.” You say sincerely, surprising both him and yourself.
Miguel felt like he had just seen a ghost, his heart felt slow as the cave of despair started to ache again, he felt like he was being suffocated. Forgiveness? He didn’t deserve any forgiveness. Not after the damage he had done. Not after the pain he inflicted. It clawed at his throat until his breath was perpetually scarce.
“Forgiveness…” He scoffed, completely dismissing the idea. “I don’t- I can’t take your forgiveness. I’m not worthy of it…” He trailed off, the lump in his throat becoming bigger and bigger.
“You work yourself too hard.” You mutter, inching closer to him, staring down at him you raise your hand reaching out for him but he grabbed your wrist.
“Don’t pity me.” He grunted and gripped tighter but you snatched your hand away with a scowl.
“I’m not pitying you. You just…You look exhausted. When was the last time you went home? Jesus, when was the last time you slept?” You ask, genuinely curious. Miguel didn’t know how to answer the question without being slightly embarrassed.
“I have nothing there. I’m needed here.” His tone was clipped and all you could do was sigh.
“Miguel…please tell me, tell me what you’re thinking. Tell me so I can help you.” You say a little more firmly than intended but it definitely got the point across. “I want to help you if you let me.”
Miguel looks at you and sighs, seeming to deflate slightly. “My mind is filled with a never ending list of tasks to complete, a never ending list of dangers to face and battles to fight, a never ending list of problems to solve... I... I don't have much peace." He rubs at his temples. “But you've already seen that, I guess.... I'm not sure how you can help me with any of this." He sighed and winced slightly when he thought of Gabriella. “All I ever wanted was a family, to be happy. Meet a nice girl, have a few kids and settle down…but I love being Spiderman and I tampered with something I had no reason to be messing with. I can’t be both. I can’t have both. Shit as for love, I don’t think I can ever get close to another woman again. I can’t lose anyone else. The last thing I need right now is a lecture about love.”
You give him a small wry smile, your hands reach forward and tuck a small tuft of hair behind his ear. Miguel froze at the small gesture of kindess and tenderness, he hadn’t felt that in so long, he hated he way he was reacting to it. You didn’t know what else to do or say, you just knew what you wanted right now. You leaned down and engulfed him in a hug, your face resting on his shoulder and your arms slung around his neck. His eyes shot wide open at the sudden gesture. He was close enough to inhale your hair and feel your skin, he hugged you back and breathed in and out, finding a semblance of peace, a moment where his mind wasn’t filled with static noise and self loathing. Your scent was…sweet and completely intoxicating if he was being honest. ‘’Thank you…” He muttered into your shoulder.
You let go and stand up straight again, offering a hand so he can stand too. You were suprised that be took it and you were more surprised to feel that his hands were…soft. “Let me take you home. I’ll make you some tea, get you to relax, yeah?” You offer gently with a little smile, hoping he would let you do this for him.
Miguel's eyes widened at your suggestion and he stared at you with hope for a moment. “Why? Why are you doing all this?” he asked. He rarely spent time with anyone outside of work. Why would you even do any of this for him?
“Because you’ve done so much for everyone else and no one has ever taken care of you. God forbid someone wants to help you and all of a sudden theres this hidden agenda.”
The realisation dawned on him, when has he let anyone get close to him? Never. Now a pretty girl wanted to take care of him, listen to his problems and make him feel deserving of the forgiveness he dreamed of. Miguel wasn’t sure if it was a delusion or crazy dream or not but he was relieved to take in your sweet scent. Maybe you had an ulterior motive, the thought made him frown. He hated feeling vulnerable and showing any kind of vulnerability was out of the question.
“I’m not leaving you tonight. Okay?” You confirm sweetly, knocking all of the air out of his lungs. He felt a strange sense of security, he felt…safe at the idea. “Come on.” You fiddled with your multiverse watch and opened a portal to his apartment, you grabbed onto his bicep and pulled him in, landing in the living room.
Jesus, it looked like it hasn’t even been lived in. Everything was clean, too clean. “Nice place.” You half joked and Miguel just shot you a smile that he was trying to conceal, it didn’t really work. Miguel felt his neck heat up, when people got to know him he was actually really shy. He sat himself on the edge of the couch, planting his elbows on his knees and raking his hands through his hair. His kitchen was walk in, expensive. As you were brewing his tea, you caught glimpses of his back, he really had been working out. You stop your mindless gawk and find his mugs and place a tea bag in two of them, you also search for his whiskey. As you poured the hot water, you splashed a little bit of whiskey. God knows he deserved it.
You walked around to couch and Miguel’s head shot up as you stood infront of him, offering him the mug. As you stood, he took an opportunity to really look at you. To survey and study you. You were…attractive, that he had no problem admitting but this…This was a new side of you he had never seen. You were showing him kindness when he didn’t even deserve it. Miguel winced slightly at the idea of letting another woman into his life, the last time that happened he lost everything, he was still weary of your intentions.
He grabbed the mug and you sat next to him, curling your feet up and facing him, gawking at him more like as you sipped your tea. This scene felt…very domestic. “Thank you…” He said, not showing any emotion, being stoic as expected.
“God stop thanking me. It’s the least I could do.” You said with a shy smile.
“It’s just…different. No one has really- Well, I haven’t been looking after myself.” He muttered
“When was the last time anyone looked out for you?” You ask, genuinely curious. He had the whole world at his feet, yet it was like he was lonely.
“Years ago, my brother Gabriel…I don’t really see him much…” It was clear he didn’t want to talk about it, but he missed his brother, he hadn’t seen him in a while. While you were in the kitchen, you saw a frame of him and his brother when they were about teenagers, playing. It warmed your heart slightly to see that he did actually care.
“You can’t let the mistakes in your past define you. It’s not who you are. Bad people don’t worry about the pain they caused. You are good.” Miguel took a moment to ponder your words, averting his gaze and then turning his head to face you.
“No you’re good.” He said gently. “It’s like being good is all you know…I’ve lost myself beneath violence and blood and chaos-“ Miguel sighed as he put the mug down on the coffee table, losing his cool for a second.
“Hey,” You grabbed onto his bicep and he shot you a startled yet curious look. “Do you trust me?”
Miguel paused, he didn’t trust people easily but after you so patiently listened to him and did all of this for him, he couldn’t say no to you. “Yeah…”
“Turn around.” Miguel did as he was told, a little confused at first, but his back was facing you. You brought your hands to his shoulders and kneaded his tense muscles. God, he was so rigid. It’s like he had never relaxed in his life. “These broad shoulders must be so exhausted.”
“Yeah…” Miguel closed his eyes, revelling in the feeling of your fingers gently caressing him. Jesus, his body was coming undone with just a few touches. Your fingers pressed and massaged his sore muscles, travelling further and further down his back.
“Is this okay?” You whisper.
Miguel let out a deep sigh, his muscles loosening under your touch. “Yes...keep going please.” Miguel's voice was still quiet but clear, and he even let out a soft groan of relief.
You travel lower, caressing and massaging the pressure points of all his soreness. “God, there’s so many knots in your back…when was the last time anyone did this for you?” You question eagerly.
Miguel closed his eyes. “...never,” he replied, his voice slightly breathy. “No one has ever..." Miguel paused. “These days no one has ever cared enough or been allowed to be so...intimate with me.” He was caught off guard by what he said. He just screwed his eyes shut and let out a deep sigh. Your presence and your soft caresses calmed his mind to his very core and relaxed his body. You noticed that Miguel, who usually always carried himself with professionalism and control...was now like a deer in headlights, unable to comprehend your touch.
You stop your actions for a moment to contemplate what he said, he’s so touch starved, he hasn’t felt the warmth of anyone else in so long. It surprised you to an immeasurable degree, women must throw themselves at him. Instead you just wrapped your arms around him from behind, nuzzling your face into his neck to take in his scent once more. Miguel was stunned into silence, you were so surprising, so understanding of how he gets, how he lets himself go. He wasn’t sure whether to cry or not, you slung your arms against his neck and all he could do is grab your hand and kiss your palm. He didn’t know how to thank you. He swore he would never get close to another woman ever again but here he was, broken down and completely at the mercy of you. He could kiss you…but then he would shatter the promise he made to himself. He would be vulnerable all over again, he’d mess it up again. What kind of idiot would he be if he didn’t learn from his past mistakes? His worst mistake? But your scent, your presence, you were just so damn inviting. God, he was a man after all… but would making you his ruin you?
#miguel o’hara angst#miguel o’hara#spiderman#spiderman 2099#miguel o’hara x reader#miguel o’hara smut#miguel ohara x fem!reader#atsv miguel#spiderman across the spiderverse#miguel ohara x y/n#miguel ohara imagine
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Fragments of Us - Chapter 5. | c.sc

pairing: choi seungcheol x f. reader genre: angst, fluff, smut (minors fuck off, in the nicest way possible) warning(s): just teenage angst tbh. nothing crazy. summary: two years after a messy breakup, seungcheol and yn reconnect unexpectedly. word count: 17k (?) start date: nov. 20, 2024
a/n: trying to post this has been a pain in my ass!!!!! the formatting might be off idkidkidk. anyways, here's a throwback ch. of how everyone becomes friends. even a romance that no one sees coming :)
I didn’t expect the group chat to explode when I sent the text. I thought I'd get a thumbs-up emoji, maybe a "cool" from Jeonghan.
Instead, I got this: GROUP CHAT: chaos but make it childhood trauma
Me: so uh I'm transferring to seoul high lol...
Dokyeom: WHAT?!?!
Jeonghan: I JUST WOKE UP AND YOU'RE DROPPING LORE????
Jihoon: It is 8:07... Can we not do this right now?
Me: surprise...? starting monday lol
Jeonghan: MONDAY? MONDAY AS IN TOMORROW MONDAY?!
Dokyeom: I AM SWEATING THROUGH MY PAJAMAS! I'M TOO YOUNG FOR THIS MUCH JOY
Jihoon: You're fifteen.
Dokyeom: EXACTLY!
Me: I finally convinced my parents. gave a whole speech about how I am emotionally dependent on you guys. very persuasive stuff...also may have cried a little. theatrically.
Jeonghan: That's my girl.
Dokyeom: THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!
Jeonghan: wait DO YOU GUYS REALIZE WHAT THIS MEANS?!
Dokyeom: hallway chaos? synchronized class skipping? group projects that get nothing done?! COMFORT LUNCHES???? we are gonna be unstoppable
Jeongahn: no no. bigger than that! SHE HASN'T MET SEUNGCHEOL YET
Me: uh..who?
Dokyeom: oh this is going to be good
Jeonghan: I bet he falls for her in a week
Dokyeom: bold. i say three days
Me: WHO IS SEUNGCHEOL? WHY IS HE FALLING?
Jihoon: Please. Do not encourage them.
Jeonghan: Seungcheol is just... you'll see. tall. soft-spoken. occasional disaster.
Dokyeom: mysterious hallway menace. emotionally stable-ish. probably writes poetry in his notes app. no. he DEFINITELY does.
Me: you guys are weird.
Jihoon: You're just now realizing this?
Jeonghan: anyway. we're doing a full seoul high crash course tomorrow. meet at the park, 1pm. bring snacks and an open mind.
Me: should I be worried?
Jihoon: Yes.
The group chat has been suspiciously quiet since last night. Which can only mean one of two things: 1. They've fallen into a group nap. 2. They're planning something.
And based on the fact that Jeonghan texted me this morning—just a selfie with two sunglasses on and the words "ready for war"—I'm guessing it's option two. When I get to the park, they're already waiting on our usual patch of grass near the busted basketball court.
Jeonghan's lying down like a man who's never known stress. He's got a cold drink in one hand and his phone in the other, probably making a playlist for "walking around and talking like we're in a coming-of-age movie."
Dokyeom sees me first and immediately jumps to his feet like I just stepped off a plane from overseas.
"THERE SHE IS!" he yells, full of golden retriever energy. "BACK FROM THE ACADEMIC VOID!"
I laugh as he jogs over and pulls me into the tightest, most dramatic hug possible. "You saw me last week."
"Yeah, but now you're a Seoul High kid. There's a difference. You've been reborn."
"Okay, calm down. I haven't even walked through the gates yet."
He holds me at arm's length. "You're glowing. It's the transfer student effect."
"Please stop," Jihoon mutters as he arrives, earbuds still in and energy already drained. "It's not even 1:05 and I'm regretting this."
Jeonghan finally sits up, brushing grass off his jeans. "Come on, Ji. It's her prep day. Our girl's about to enter the war zone that is public education with no map."
"I was at a different school for two weeks, not exiled."
"Same thing," Jeonghan shrugs. "Anyway. Welcome to Seoul High Orientation, Chaos Edition."
He stands dramatically and pulls a folded piece of paper from his pocket.
"You made an itinerary?" I ask.
"It's color-coded."
"I'm scared."
Dokyeom leans in. "I helped. My section is the cafeteria, obviously."
"I'm going to regret this," Jihoon says again, but he follows us anyway.
Stop #1: The Front Gate:
"This is where you'll see at least four couples pretending not to be dating," Jeonghan says, pointing at a bench by the sidewalk.
"Also," Dokyeom adds, "don't walk near the bushes after fifth period. One time I saw someone get tackled by a rogue soccer ball and it never left me."
"Duly noted."
Stop #2: The Vending Machines:
"Row three. Bottom left," Dokyeom says with a hand on his heart. "That chocolate milk will change your life."
"The green tea's okay too," Jeonghan adds, "if you want to feel emotionally empty for forty-five minutes."
Jihoon throws a pack of crackers at him. "It's just tea, Han."
"It's a lifestyle, Ji."
Stop #3: The Courtyard:
"This is where we eat," Jeonghan says proudly, spreading his arms out like he's presenting a kingdom. "Under the big tree. Shade, good breeze, low teacher traffic."
I smile as I take it in. "It's cute."
"We're not," Jihoon says.
"No," I agree. "But this is."
By the time we're halfway through the tour, I've got a mental folder labeled "Seoul High Survival" and about thirty Jeonghan-led side tangents I did not ask for. But the truth is... this? This is everything I missed.
The laughing. The bickering. Jihoon pretending not to care while handing me the exact snack I love without saying a word. Jeonghan spinning wild tales of hallway drama. Dokyeom trailing behind me to make sure I don't get trampled by a roaming club rush. I feel... settled.
Like the two weird weeks at my old school were a glitch in the system, and this chaos, noise, and love is where I'm meant to be. We end the day back at the park, laying in the grass like we're thirteen again and avoiding responsibility.
"I still can't believe you're gonna be with us again," Dokyeom says, arms stretched above his head.
"Yeah," I say softly. "Me either."
There's a pause. Just long enough for Jeonghan to get ideas.
"So," he says slowly, "on a scale of 1 to 'should I get my tux ready,' how soon do we think Seungcheol's gonna fall for her?"
I groan. "Why are we back on this?"
Jihoon sighs. "We never left it."
"Who is this guy again?" I ask, squinting at them.
"He's in our lunch period," Jeonghan says. "Tall. Wears hoodies like they're armor. Brooding, soft-spoken, suspiciously poetic."
Dokyeom nods. "He's also weirdly graceful. Like, if a cat and a tree had a baby."
"What does that even mean?"
"You'll see."
"Is he nice?"
"Too nice," Jeonghan says. "It's suspicious."
"He's gonna fall for you in under a week," Dokyeom adds.
I roll onto my side and squint at the sky. "You two are insufferable."
"And yet," Jeonghan sings, "you love us."
"Regrettably."
Jihoon tosses a leaf in my face. "Can we go home now?"
"Yeah," I say, still smiling. "Let's go."
Tomorrow's going to be the first page of a brand new chapter. Same neighborhood, same chaos, new school. And maybe... a new character.
We end up at my place because, well, we always do. I don't remember when it started—sometime around elementary school when my house became the designated "safe zone" after long days of bike riding, hide-and-seek, and overly competitive UNO games. But even now, the pattern hasn't changed. They drift toward my front door like gravity pulls them here.
My mom isn't even surprised when we walk in. She waves from the couch and asks if we want tteokbokki or ramyeon for dinner.
"Both?" Dokyeom asks, hopeful.
She nods like she expected that answer, already moving to the kitchen. Legend.
We pile into the living room—bags tossed in the hallway, shoes left in a mess near the door (except Jihoon, who lines his up neatly like the responsible citizen he is). The TV's playing something none of us are paying attention to, and Jeonghan claims his usual spot on the beanbag like a throne.
"This house smells the same," he says, inhaling dramatically. "Like candles and comfort."
"Like old books and guilt," Jihoon mutters.
"Like snacks and serotonin," Dokyeom adds with a dreamy sigh, already halfway through the chips he found in the cabinet without asking.
"You're welcome," I say, flopping onto the floor with a soda in hand. We hang out like that for hours.
Jeonghan plays with the filters on my phone and takes the ugliest selfies known to man. Dokyeom puts on music and dramatically lip-syncs to every chorus like we're in a music video. Jihoon half-watches from the couch, half-judging all of us, but he doesn't move or leave—he never does. And me? I soak it all in.
The noise. The laughter. The bickering. The way Jeonghan throws popcorn at Jihoon and misses, hitting my ceiling instead. The way Dokyeom sings off-key just to make me laugh. The way Jihoon pretends to hate it, but keeps pushing the bowl of snacks closer to me whenever it gets too far. This is what I missed. Not just the chaos. The comfort. The absolute certainty that no matter how weird or awful or overwhelming tomorrow is... I'll have this. These people.
Around 8:30, we're sprawled out on every available surface—Dokyeom upside-down on the recliner, Jeonghan draped over half the beanbag like a Victorian ghost, and Jihoon holding the remote like he's the last sane person left on Earth.
"We should go over the schedule again," Jihoon says suddenly.
Jeonghan groans. "We already did that."
"I wasn't paying attention," I admit, taking a long sip from my drink.
"See?" Jihoon gestures toward me like he's in a courtroom.
He pulls out his phone and opens the Seoul High schedule app. "You start with History. Room 2B. I'm in 2C, so we'll walk over together."
"You memorized my schedule?"
"No," he says too fast.
Jeonghan coughs, "Soft."
"I'm being helpful," Jihoon mutters.
Dokyeom sits up like he's had an epiphany. "Wait, who's walking her to lunch?"
Everyone looks at each other.
"Not it," Jihoon says immediately.
Jeonghan gasps. "How dare you."
Eventually, my mom calls us for dinner and we crowd around the table like we're still kids coming in from playing outside. Elbows bump. Someone drops chopsticks. Jeonghan steals from my bowl. Jihoon sighs. Dokyeom does his happy food dance. Everything feels stupidly perfect.
Later, when they've all gone home and I'm finally alone in my room, the silence feels louder—but not empty. There's a warmth in it. A weightless sort of joy that hums beneath the quiet.
I set out my uniform for tomorrow, check my backpack one more time and then crawl under the covers.
My alarm goes off at 6:45.
It's rude. Aggressively loud. Too chipper for this hour. I silence it with the strength of someone who briefly considers faking an illness but remembers she fought tooth and nail to transfer here. No backing out now.
I lie in bed for a moment, staring at the ceiling, letting the reality settle in: I'm starting over. Sort of. New school. New teachers. New classmates. But not totally new.
I get up and head to the bathroom. My uniform looks fine—I tried it on twice yesterday to make sure it wasn't weirdly too long or too short. I do my hair in a simple style and throw on a little lip balm before grabbing my backpack and heading downstairs. Mom's already up, making toast. She smiles when she sees me.
"Nervous?"
I shrug, slipping on my shoes. "Excited. Mostly."
She hands me a packed lunch. "You're going to be great."
"Thanks, Mom."
"Say hi to the boys for me. Especially Jihoon. He's the only one I trust not to set something on fire."
"I'll let him know he's the chosen one," I laugh, heading for the door.
We agreed to meet at the corner near Jeonghan's house—same spot we've used as our unofficial meet-up location since elementary school. I'm a few minutes early. I adjust my bag, check my phone, and take a deep breath. The air is crisp, that September kind of cool that says summer's still hanging on but barely.
"Wow," a voice says behind me. "You actually showed up on time. New year, new you?"
I turn around and roll my eyes. "Hello to you, too, Jihoon."
He's in uniform too, blazer slightly wrinkled like he didn't bother ironing it. His backpack looks like it's already carrying emotional damage.
"I had a feeling you'd say that," I grin.
"I had a feeling you'd be annoying this early in the morning," he deadpans.
"Don't worry. I'm just getting started."
Before he can respond, someone yells, "FRESHMAN PRINCESS!" from across the street.
Jeonghan.
He runs up dramatically, iced coffee in hand, sunglasses on like it's not 7:20 a.m.
"You're lucky I'm walking with you," he says, looping his arm through mine. "The hallways are a battlefield. I will protect you."
"Why do you look like you're attending a music festival?" Jihoon asks.
"It's called style, Hoonie. Look it up."
Dokyeom appears seconds later, full of sunshine as usual. "WE'RE DOING THIS, GUYS!"
"We are," I say, grinning. "Day one."
Jeonghan adjusts his sunglasses. "Let the chaos begin."
The four of us start walking—shoulders bumping, shoes dragging, backpacks swaying. It feels weirdly perfect. Like we've done this forever.
Jeonghan launches into a dramatic retelling of a cafeteria fight he witnessed last week (spoiler: it involved pudding and questionable martial arts), while Dokyeom swears someone in the second-year class is secretly famous on TikTok. Jihoon grunts at regular intervals to remind us that he's still here and still suffering.
The sidewalk, the trees, the sound of their voices bouncing off each other like background music in the best kind of teen drama.
The front gate is already swarming when we get there—students spilling onto campus in loose clusters, backpacks slung over shoulders, half-asleep conversations floating through the air. It's loud and chaotic in a way that feels alive. The moment we step through the gates, Jeonghan slings an arm across my shoulders like we're on parade.
"Fresh meat," he whispers dramatically. "Do you smell it, Jihoon?"
"Please don't talk to me."
Jeonghan completely ignores him and gestures to a group of students near the front steps. "That's where the morning gossip happens. Most of it's fake. All of it's entertaining."
Dokyeom leans in like he's narrating a documentary. "That corner near the vending machines? That's where couples break up before first period."
I squint. "Is that real?"
"Yup," Jeonghan says. "We once saw someone dump their boyfriend with a Post-it note. Iconic."
We make our way through the hallways, Jeonghan pointing out every landmark like he's a tour guide and I'm a visiting diplomat.
"Left hallway is the music room. Where dreams go to die."
"I thought you liked music class," I say.
"I do. I just hate being graded on vibes."
Jihoon groans. "I swear to God—"
"Language," Jeonghan says sweetly.
By the time the warning bell rings, I've got a decent sense of the building—where my classes are, which bathroom stalls to avoid, which stairwells are used for crying.
I make it through first period with only one awkward "Are you new here?" moment. Second period is better. By third, I manage to raise my hand without my voice shaking. And suddenly, it's lunch.
"So," Jeonghan says, linking our arms as we weave through the courtyard, "are you emotionally prepared to meet the guy we've already decided is going to fall in love with you?"
"I'm sorry?" I blink. "Back up."
"Seungcheol," he sing-songs. "Tall, quiet, mysterious. Hoodie guy. Pretty eyes. You've heard us mention him."
"I thought you were joking when you said he writes poems and sulks during gym."
"Oh, he does. But he's also a walking soft boy aesthetic, and I just know you're his exact type."
I narrow my eyes. "And what exactly is his type?"
"Dangerously witty, occasionally unhinged girls who will probably roast him for wearing the same hoodie four days in a row."
"I'm honored," I deadpan.
"Listen," Jeonghan grins. "If he doesn't fall in love by the end of lunch, I'll give you five bucks."
"That's it?"
"Emotional damage isn't cheap, YN."
We round the corner and there they are—Jihoon, sitting cross-legged on the grass like he's contemplating life, and Dokyeom, animatedly telling a story with full body gestures and a dramatic reenactment.
Jeonghan waves like he's entering a fan meet. "Boys! Look who I found lurking in the halls like a lost soul."
Jihoon groans. "God, spare me."
"Jihoon," I grin. "Still allergic to joy, I see."
"Still the human equivalent of spilled soda," he mutters, but he shifts slightly so I can sit beside him.
Dokyeom cheers. "Our girl's officially one of us again! Let the unhinged lunch sessions resume!"
"Can't wait," I laugh, sitting down and pulling out my lunch.
"So—how's Seoul High treating you so far?"
"Eh," I shrug. "Nothing chaotic so far".
"Yet," Jihoon adds.
Jeonghan suddenly sits up straighter, lips curling. "Incoming."
I glance toward where he's looking. And then I see him.
Seungcheol.
Tall, broad-shouldered, sleeves half-covering his hands, hoodie slightly oversized. He's walking toward us with the calm of someone who's used to being invisible, but the kind of invisible people still notice. And he's looking at me. Just for a second. Then he looks away.
When he sits, he doesn't say anything. He just nods at Jeonghan, gives Dokyeom a quiet greeting, and glances in Jihoon's direction like he's silently asking about my presence.
"This," Jeonghan says, all false casual, "is YN."
Seungcheol turns to me, eyes soft but unreadable. "You're the transfer?"
"That's me," I nod. "Fresh meat. Bring on the hazing."
He blinks. Slowly. "We don't really do that here."
"Shame," I say. "I had a whole dramatic speech prepared about rising from the ashes."
A pause. Then, just barely—he smiles.
Oh no.
His smile is the quiet kind. The kind you almost miss if you're not paying attention. But I see it.
Dokyeom's eyes widen ever so slightly.
Jeonghan hides a cough behind his hand.
Jihoon mutters, "Here we go."
"So," I continue, leaning back on my palms, "you're Seungcheol. I've heard things."
That gets his attention. "Like what?"
"Mostly that you wear hoodies like armor and possibly write sad poetry."
He looks stunned for half a second. Then says, "...I plead the fifth."
Jeonghan loses it.
"God, you're already corrupted," Jihoon mutters, stabbing at his lunch like it wronged him.
"Don't worry, Ji," I grin at him. "I'll leave your delicate moral compass intact."
"You broke that years ago."
"I never touched it."
"You threw it out a window."
I grin. "You're just mad I beat you in Mario Kart and the spelling bee."
Jeonghan gasps. "You did not bring up the spelling bee."
"She spelled 'acquiesce' in record time," Dokyeom says proudly.
"She whispered it," Jihoon grumbles.
"Power move," I say with a shrug.
Seungcheol is quiet—but I catch him smiling again.
Twice in one lunch. Interesting.
As we all start eating, I feel Jeonghan nudge my shoulder. When I glance over, he's grinning like a devil.
"No love at first sight," he whispers, "but I'm feeling a solid slow burn."
"Shut up and eat your rice," I whisper back.
But I'm smiling, too. And across from me, Seungcheol keeps glancing my way.
By the time I unwrap the sandwich my mom made me, the conversation has unraveled into three different threads: Dokyeom trying to convince us that aliens are real, Jeonghan attempting to set up an impromptu talent show, and Jihoon—bless him—trying to ignore all of it while chewing like it's a stress reliever. And then there's Seungcheol. Silent. Observing.
Twisting the cap of his drink back and forth between his fingers like it's giving him something to focus on. I don't know what it is exactly, but something about him makes me... curious. He's not cold, not standoffish—but there's a distance. Like he's not sure if he should be here, but he is. Like he's still deciding what kind of person he's allowed to be in front of me. Which, okay, that might be projecting. But I'm intrigued.
"So, Cheol," Jeonghan says out of nowhere, eyes sharp with barely contained mischief. "YN is a spelling bee champion. Impressive, right?"
Seungcheol looks up mid-sip. "Spelling bee?"
"It was fifth grade," I say quickly. "Jeonghan's just bitter because I beat him."
"She spelled 'rendezvous' and I panicked and said 'cow,'" he says, hand to chest. "A dark day for me."
Jihoon sighs. "You spelled 'cow' in a French vocabulary competition."
"And I spelled it perfectly."
Seungcheol blinks. "Sounds like you deserved that loss."
Oh. Oh. He speaks. Seungcheol actually laughs. Just once. Soft and a little caught off guard, like he didn't mean to. Jeonghan stares at him like he's just grown wings.
Dokyeom, not even trying to be subtle, leans over and fake-whispers, "Is this... is this the most Cheol's ever spoken to a new person?"
Seungcheol shoots him a look. "You're not helping."
"I'm not trying to."
Jeonghan leans in. "This is a safe space, Cheol. You can admit you like her."
My head snaps around. "Jeonghan!"
"What?" he says innocently. "He's clearly smiling in, like, two-minute intervals. That's basically a love confession." Seungcheol buries his face in his hand.
Dokyeom claps. "I knew it! I said three days. We're ahead of schedule."
Jihoon doesn't even look up. "You two are the reason I have stress-induced eye twitching."
"I'm honored," Jeonghan beams.
I wave my sandwich between them. "Can we maybe not make my first lunch here about whether or not I'm breaking someone's emotional armor?"
Seungcheol peeks up from behind his hand, gaze flickering to mine, half amused, half mortified.
"I don't have emotional armor," he mumbles.
"Sure," I say, giving him a playful look. "You've got hoodie sleeves pulled over your hands like they're hiding state secrets."
He blinks. Then smiles. Again. That's smile number three. We're keeping count now. Jihoon pinches the bridge of his nose.
"I can't do four years of this."
"Oh, you can," I say sweetly. "And you will."
Jeonghan claps. "God, I missed her."
"Missed?" Jihoon repeats. "She's been gone two weeks."
"Two long weeks," Dokyeom sighs dramatically.
"Thank you for acknowledging my impact," I say, wiping my hands on a napkin. "I like to think I leave a small trail of chaos wherever I go."
Seungcheol glances at me. "You do."
I raise a brow. "You say that like you have evidence."
"I've known you for thirty minutes."
"And that's enough?"
He pauses. Then nods.
I smile, leaning back on my hands. "Fair."
The bell rings not long after that, too loud, too soon.
Everyone groans, especially Dokyeom, who slumps forward like the concept of geometry is personally attacking him. As we start packing up, I catch Seungcheol glancing at me again. Just for a moment. Then he looks away like it didn't happen. Jeonghan sees it, of course. He lives for it. But, for once, he says nothing. Which somehow feels louder. As we all start heading toward the building again—Jihoon and Dokyeom walking ahead, already arguing over which staircase is faster—Jeonghan lingers behind with me.
He leans in close, voice low. "So. Thoughts?"
I raise a brow. "On what?"
"On the quiet boy who, by the way, totally laughed at your joke and voluntarily spoke to you more than six syllables."
"Maybe he's warming up to me."
"Maybe you're the sun."
I scoff. "You are so dramatic."
"And you," he says, nudging my side, "are so lying if you say you didn't like it."
I don't answer. Because I don't have to. I'm still smiling.
Back inside, the hallways feel stuffier somehow—more humid, more crowded. Someone's playing music on a Bluetooth speaker a few lockers down, and two second-years are mock-arguing about who owes whom bread from the vending machine. It's normal chaos.
I trail behind the boys as we head to our lockers. Jeonghan's retelling the story of the "spelling bee betrayal" for the third time in twenty minutes with new embellishments. Apparently, I now wore sunglasses and whispered the final word like a spy. Jihoon is visibly trying not to throttle him.
"Please," Jihoon groans, "I will pay you to shut up."
"Okay, but like... ten bucks minimum," Jeonghan says without missing a beat.
Dokyeom turns to me. "So what's your next class?"
"Math," I say, feigning dread. "Room 1C. I had a good streak going and now it ends."
"You're with me," Jihoon grunts. "Come on, let's go before the students clog the stairs."
"Your optimism is infectious."
He just rolls his eyes and starts walking, and I follow—throwing a quick wave back at Jeonghan and Dokyeom. Seungcheol's there too, halfway turned, backpack over one shoulder. Our eyes meet briefly. It's not a long look. Just one of those quick, tiny moments of recognition. But it lands. Harder than I expected.
Math Class – 10 Minutes Later - It's exactly as tragic as I feared. The teacher drones on about number sets and functions while my brain tries desperately to remember what integers even are. Jihoon passes me a spare pencil when mine breaks, muttering something about "karma for being smug."
I spend half the class doodling stars in the corner of my notebook and pretending I'm absorbing something. I catch Jihoon glancing over once to see if I'm paying attention—he doesn't say anything, but I feel the judgment.
By the time the bell rings, I've retained maybe five percent of the material and zero percent of my dignity.
"Remind me to steal your notes later," I say as we pack up.
"I won't."
"Wow. Some best friend you are."
He slams his notebook closed. "Some best friend you are. You abandoned me for two weeks and came back with main character energy."
"That's because I am the main character."
"God help us all.
I meet up with Jeonghan and Dokyeom in the stairwell before our last class of the day. Seungcheol's already there too, leaning against the wall, scrolling through his phone. He glances up when I approach. Doesn't say anything. Just gives a small nod. I return it with a smile and nudge Jeonghan. "So how much longer are you guys pretending you're not planning something?"
He puts on his best "Who, me?" face.
"I don't know what you mean."
"Sure."
"I just think it's cute," he says, way too casually. "The quiet boy and the witty transfer. Enemies to lovers but, like, without the enemies part."
"You've been watching too many dramas."
"Only for research."
"On what?"
"Your life arc," he says, linking arms with me again. "And frankly, it's delivering."
I groan. "Please let me survive a week here before you assign me a love interest."
"No promises."
Last Period – Literature: We file into class and the teacher, Mr. Park, gives a welcoming smile and points me to a desk near the middle.
To my left: Jeonghan. Of course.
To my right? Seungcheol. Because fate is a very funny, very chaotic little thing.
We exchange a brief glance and both pretend we're not aware of the other's presence. Jeonghan's already watching us like a director behind a camera lens.
"You good?" Seungcheol asks quietly once the teacher starts talking.
His voice is soft. A little husky, like he doesn't talk much by the end of the day. I glance at him, then nod. "Yeah. Math tried to kill me, but I pulled through."
He chuckles under his breath. "Jihoon?"
"Obviously."
"I could tell. You looked like you were planning your escape."
"Still am."
Another small smile. God, he's unfair.
Class goes on, and we don't talk much after that, but he's there. He passes me a spare worksheet when mine goes missing. I hand him an extra pen when his runs out. Small things. Quiet things. Things I didn't expect to matter. But they do.
By the end of class, I don't know what we are. Not friends. Not strangers. Something in between. But as we walk out and our arms brush just barely in the hallway, I kind of want to find out. The moment the final bell rings, the hallways erupt like a prison break.
Bags zip. Lockers slam. Someone's already blasting music from their phone and another kid's yelling about losing a shoe.
I find Jeonghan, Dokyeom, and Jihoon by the usual stairwell. Jeonghan's sitting on the ledge like he owns the building. Dokyeom's halfway through a banana. Jihoon's glaring at both of them like he's aged five years since lunch.
"Everyone survive?" I ask as I approach.
"Barely," Jihoon mutters. "I had to stop Jeonghan from starting a fake fire drill."
"It was a tiny flame."
"It was a lighter," Jihoon snaps. "And you tried to pass it off as a 'science experiment.'"
"Art is subjective," Jeonghan shrugs.
Dokyeom claps me on the shoulder. "First day down. Look at you. Thriving."
"Thriving is a stretch," I say, adjusting my backpack. "But I didn't fall down the stairs, so I'll take it."
"Low bar," Jihoon says.
"High success rate," I shoot back.
We fall into our usual rhythm, feet dragging down the sidewalk toward our neighborhood. The sun's dipped lower in the sky, softening everything into gold. The street's quiet, familiar.
"I still can't believe you're actually here," Dokyeom says, smiling. "Like, physically attending our school. Eating our cafeteria food. Existing in the same hallways."
"You say that like I moved across the country and didn't just live ten minutes away."
Jeonghan loops his arms around both mine and Dokyeom's. "It felt like long-distance."
Jihoon walks a few steps ahead, muttering, "She was literally here last weekend."
"Emotionally long-distance," Jeonghan corrects.
"Unbearable," I say dramatically. "I had to spend lunch with strangers for two weeks. Strangers. Who didn't even know about Jihoon's middle school bowl cut."
Dokyeom gasps. "The legend returns."
Jihoon glares over his shoulder. "I will destroy you all."
"Anyway," Jeonghan cuts in, grinning, "now that we're whole again, I propose a welcome-home homework session."
"Which means...?" I raise an eyebrow.
"We invade your house."
"Obviously," Dokyeom grins.
I don't even bother pretending to argue.
We tumble into my house like we own it. Shoes come off, bags hit the floor, and my mom just glances up from the kitchen with a raised brow.
"Living room. No fire hazards this time."
"That was one time!" Jeonghan shouts.
"It was smoke," Dokyeom adds helpfully.
"It was scorched noodles," Jihoon mutters, heading straight to the dining table like this is a business meeting.
I head to the kitchen to grab snacks while Jeonghan and Dokyeom claim the couch like they're royalty returning to their thrones.
As I come back with chips and sodas, I catch Jeonghan elbowing Dokyeom with a smirk.
"Operation Slow-Burn is already underway," he whispers.
"Did you see how he looked at her during lunch?" Dokyeom stage-whispers back. "I thought he was gonna short-circuit."
"Excuse me?"
"Nothing!" Jeonghan says brightly. "Love the snacks."
"You're terrible liars."
"We're visionaries," Jeonghan corrects. "There's a difference."
"I have literally no idea what you're talking about."
Dokyeom gives me a very unsubtle side-eye. "No thoughts about a certain quiet boy with hoodie sleeves and resting brooding face?"
I throw a chip at him. "You're reading into things."
"Sure," Jeonghan hums. "And he definitely wasn't looking at you like you hang the stars."
"I—" I pause. "He barely said five words to me."
"But he said them with feeling," Dokyeom nods, serious.
"You guys need help."
"You need to admit you're thinking about him," Jeonghan sings.
"I'm thinking about getting through math homework without setting something on fire."
Jihoon, without looking up: "You're all exhausting."
"Thank you for your support," I say.
He gestures with his pencil. "Don't drag me into your weird rom-com subplot."
"It's not a rom-com subplot," I say quickly.
"Uh-huh."
I flop down onto the carpet with a dramatic groan. "Why did I transfer again?"
"Because you missed us," Jeonghan says, already stealing a chip. "And because fate clearly wants you to fall in love with someone who wears the same hoodie every Tuesday."
"I literally just got here."
"Exactly," Dokyeom grins. "Perfect timing."
I groan again, but as I open my notebook, my brain is already replaying the exact way Seungcheol smiled at me in Lit class. Soft. Cautious. Real.
Which is so not helpful. At all.
The house is quiet now. Too quiet.
The kind of quiet that only happens after the storm—that specific kind of stillness that lingers after Jeonghan has stopped singing show tunes, Dokyeom has stopped dramatically reenacting hallway drama, and Jihoon has stopped muttering about all of us being incurable idiots.
They left an hour ago, but the energy still lingers in the living room. Empty soda cans on the coffee table. An abandoned sock (Jeonghan's, probably). Jihoon's neatly stacked math notes, which he "accidentally" left behind so I'd study properly.
I clean up on autopilot, the rhythm of it soothing in that "I'm trying not to think about things" kind of way. But of course, the moment my hands aren't busy, my brain betrays me.
Seungcheol. Ugh.
I flop onto my bed, face buried in my pillow. This is ridiculous. We barely spoke. A few jokes. A soft smile. Some hoodie-based banter. That's it. Right? So why did I feel so weird when he looked at me? Not bad weird. Just... noticeable. Like something was shifting and I hadn't caught up to it yet.
I roll onto my back and stare at the ceiling. I try to convince myself I'm just reacting to the idea Jeonghan and Dokyeom planted in my head.
But still... He was so quiet, but not in a dismissive way. Just careful. Measured. Like he didn't waste words, so when he did speak—when he asked if I was okay, or offered a pen, or actually laughed—it felt... important.
And now my best friends are trying to turn this into a slow-burn romance with plot twists and emotional development and who knows what else. I should tell them to chill. I should also tell myself to chill.
Instead, I reach for my phone. No texts from Seungcheol, obviously. Why would there be?
Just the group chat, where Jeonghan has sent a blurry picture of Jihoon looking like he's contemplating homicide and labeled it: "mood when YN and Cheol lock eyes again tomorrow."
I snort. I hate them.
I also love them.
I send a single middle finger emoji in response and toss my phone aside. Then I get up to get ready for bed.
Shower. Skincare. Pajamas.
I brush my hair out slowly, the silence in my room now soft instead of heavy. Comfortable. I line up my uniform for the next day. Repack my bag. Plug in my phone. When I crawl under the covers, I feel it again—that calm hum in my chest. A flicker of something new.
Hope? Excitement? I'm not sure. But whatever it is... it feels good. Like I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. Maybe Jeonghan's right. Perhaps something is happening. Maybe not. Either way... I think I'm okay with finding out.
I wake up before my alarm. Which is disgusting. And uncalled for.
I lie there for a moment, blinking at the ceiling like the main character in a coming-of-age movie. Then I remember: I go to Seoul High now. With my best friends. With a hoodie-wearing boy who may or may not be quietly unraveling every time I look at him.
Cool. Not thinking about that.
I get up, get dressed, pull my hair into something presentable, and head out with my backpack slung over one shoulder. As I step outside, I see Jihoon waiting at the corner of the street, already holding a convenience store coffee and looking like this is the 37th Monday he's endured in a row.
"You're early," I say, blinking.
"You're late," he says, even though I'm literally on time.
"Someone's cranky."
"I'm walking to school with Jeonghan and Dokyeom. Of course I'm cranky."
Right on cue, we hear them before we see them. Jeonghan's singing something dramatic and entirely off-key, and Dokyeom is beatboxing badly in support.
"They've been like this since I left the house," Jihoon mutters.
"God gives his toughest battles to his most sleep-deprived soldiers," I say solemnly.
The boys turn the corner, and Jeonghan gasps like he's seeing me for the first time in years.
"There she is! The girl who haunts our group chat dreams!"
"Hello to you too," I say, rolling my eyes.
"We were just talking about how love can bloom in the quietest corners of a lunch period," Dokyeom says, completely unprovoked.
"Not this again."
"Sweetie," Jeonghan says, linking arms with me. "We're not saying you're in love. We're just saying if this were a drama, yesterday would've been the pilot episode, and the viewers are already emotionally invested."
Jihoon groans and we start walking.
"Anyway," I say casually, "what classes do we all have today?"
"History first for me," Jeonghan says. "Gonna sleep through 70% of it."
"I've got physics," Dokyeom sighs. "Pray for me."
"History," Jihoon mutters. "You too, right?"
I nod. "Yup. And Seungcheol, I think."
There's a subtle pause. Jeonghan smirks and Dokyeom quietly gasps. Jihoon speeds up like he's trying to leave the conversation physically.
"I swear we didn't plan that," Jeonghan says.
"Again, terrible liars."
At School – Before First Period: I'm heading toward History when someone falls into step beside me.
"Morning."
I turn. It's Seungcheol. Same hoodie (black this time), hair slightly damp like he just showered, eyes a little sleepy.
"Oh. Hey," I say, surprised. "Didn't think you were an 'early to school' kind of guy."
He shrugs. "Usually not. Got a ride today."
"From who?"
"Hyung."
He doesn't elaborate.
I nod like that explains something. "You ready to sit through Mr. Ahn's metaphors of doom again?"
"No," he says. "But I brought gum."
I grin. "A man with a plan."
He glances at me, lips twitching. "Want one?"
I blink. "Seriously?"
He offers me the pack like it's no big deal. I take one. Our fingers brush. (It means nothing. I tell myself that twice.)
"Thanks," I say.
He hums in response, and we walk the rest of the way in companionable silence. Not awkward. Just quiet. Safe.
History Class – Partner Work: Mr. Ahn's in rare form today, assigning a group analysis project and giving us exactly two class periods to finish it. "Pick someone near you," he says. "Someone you won't get distracted with."
Naturally, I turn to my right and meet Seungcheol's gaze at the same time he meets mine.
There's a silent moment of agreement.
We pair up again.
"Déjà vu," I say as we pull out our notes.
"You regretting it already?"
"Too soon to tell." He chuckles.
We start reading the passage together, breaking it down. He's sharp. More insightful than he lets on. His handwriting's messier today, and he keeps clicking his pen like it's a nervous habit. He only glances at me three times while I talk.
(Okay, four.)
And every time I catch him doing it, he looks away fast, like he got caught shoplifting. I pretend not to notice.
After Class – In the Hallway: I'm gathering my things when Jeonghan and Dokyeom ambush me like I just won a prize.
"So?" Jeonghan asks.
"How was group project part two?" Dokyeom grins.
"Educational," I say dryly. "About the text. And nothing else."
"Oh please," Jeonghan says. "I saw the gum exchange. Very flirty. Very symbolic."
"He handed me a stick of gum, not his heart."
"Same thing, if you squint."
Jihoon appears out of nowhere and shoves a worksheet into Jeonghan's chest. "This is what you should be focused on."
"Oh god," Jeonghan groans. "Homework? Already? YN, distract him."
"Yeah," Jihoon says. "That's going well."
I make a face. "You guys are insufferable."
And yet, when I glance down the hallway and see Seungcheol turning the corner—
I smile.
After Literature, the day picks up speed. There's a moment between classes where I find myself alone for the first time all day—just me and a hallway full of lockers and too-loud morning announcements. Jeonghan and Dokyeom are in gym. Jihoon had to go to the music room. Seungcheol disappeared like a vapor trail the second class ended.
So, for now, it's just me. And honestly? It's kind of nice.
Third Period – Environmental Science: I slide into a seat near the middle and pull out my notebook. The room smells like pencil shavings and leftover dissection trauma. There's a poster of a polar bear on the wall that looks weirdly judgmental.
A guy drops into the seat next to me a few seconds later. Tall-ish, tousled hair, blazer unbuttoned like a walking dress code violation.
"Hey," he says, friendly. "You're new, right?"
I blink. "Wow. How'd you guess?"
"You still look like you're trying to map out the school in your head."
"I am. I'm also emotionally invested in locating the vending machine that doesn't steal my money."
He grins. "West wing. Third floor. Kinda cursed, but it spits out two sodas if you hit it just right."
I squint. "You're joking."
"Only sometimes. I'm Taeyang, by the way."
"YN."
"Cool name."
"Cool vending machine tip."
He laughs, and the teacher calls class to attention before he can say anything else. We end up as lab partners for the day. He's sharp and surprisingly funny, and he doesn't hesitate to hand me the better pencil when mine breaks again.
It's... easy. Different.
Flirty, maybe?
No. I'm reading into it. Probably.
Fourth Period – Art
Art ends up being the class where I meet two girls who immediately adopt me like I'm their new emotionally damaged project.
"Transfer?" one of them asks, a girl with pink clips in her hair and a neon green pencil case that could double as a weapon.
I nod. "Is it that obvious?"
"You're not slumped over like the rest of us," the other one says, pulling out paintbrushes. "That's how you spot the new blood."
I laugh. "I'll slump soon. Just give me time."
They introduce themselves as Jiwon and Hyejin. We get paired up for the color theory project, and within ten minutes, they've added me to their group chat, offered me half their snacks, and told me everything about the "hallway couples ranking" that apparently exists.
They're weird. I like them immediately.
Halfway through class, Hyejin leans in. "Be honest. Are you dating that tall guy from lunch yesterday?"
"Who?"
"You were sitting across from him. Hoodie. Deep voice. Intense stare. He looked like he'd murder someone if they took the last bread from the cafeteria."
"...Seungcheol?"
"YES."
Jiwon hums. "He doesn't talk to people. And he laughed when you made that ramen joke."
"You were sitting near us?"
"We're professional eavesdroppers," Hyejin says proudly.
"She made him laugh," Jiwon repeats. "That's not normal."
"I'm not dating anyone," I say quickly.
But my face is warm and they notice. Of course they do.
By the time the final bell rings, I'm exhausted—but in a good way. Like I actually survived the day without totally embarrassing myself. I head to my locker, swinging my bag over my shoulder. As I round the corner, I see Taeyang again, leaning against the wall like it's his part-time job.
"Hey," he says when he sees me. "You made it through the cursed vending machine and polar bear judgment class."
"Barely," I say, smiling.
"You walking home?"
I hesitate.
Before I can answer, someone appears just past his shoulder—hands in his pockets, hoodie up.
Seungcheol.
He doesn't say anything at first. Just nods at me.
"You coming?"
It's directed at me. Not rude. Not rushed. Just... expectant. Like he already knows what the answer is.
Taeyang raises an eyebrow but steps aside. "Guess I'll see you tomorrow?"
"Yeah," I say. "See you."
I fall into step beside Seungcheol as we head toward the school gate. He doesn't ask about the other guy. Doesn't say much at all. But his shoulders are a little stiffer than usual. And when he hands me a piece of gum again without looking at me? I take it. And I definitely notice the way his fingers linger an extra second this time.
"That guy," he says.
I glance at him. "Huh?"
He nods toward the building. "From earlier. Tall. Wavy hair. He was talking to you.”
Oh.
He means Taeyang.
"Right," I say slowly. "That's Taeyang."
He waits. Like maybe I'll offer more.
I do, eventually. "We had science together today. He's... chill."
"Chill," Seungcheol echoes, like it's a word he's holding up to the light.
I squint at him. "Why?"
"No reason."
There's a silence.
Not awkward. But dense.
He looks straight ahead, jaw tight in that unreadable way that makes me wonder if he's actually annoyed, or just thinking really, really hard.
"You don't like him?" I ask, half-teasing.
"I don't know him," he says. "I just—he looked familiar."
"You mean you were watching?"
He cuts me a look. "No."
I smirk. "You sound a little defensive."
"I'm not."
"You sure?"
He exhales slowly, muttering something that sounds suspiciously like "Jeonghan warned me."
I snort. "Okay. That's ominous."
He finally meets my eyes again. "He said you'd be loud. Smart. Kind of a menace."
"Accurate."
"He didn't say anything about the guy with the vending machine tips."
I blink.
And suddenly I get it.
"Oh my god," I say slowly. "Are you asking if I like him?"
His face doesn't change.
But his ears go pink.
"I'm just asking."
"Are you?"
He's quiet for a beat.
Then, without looking at me: "You seem... interested."
I raise an eyebrow. "And that matters to you?"
He freezes. Almost like that question knocked the wind out of him.
Neither of us has spoken for a few moments, but the quiet between us doesn't feel awkward—it feels... new. The kind of silence that makes your heart race a little faster because it feels full of possibilities. I shift on my feet, gripping the strap of my backpack, suddenly very aware of how close he's standing. Not close enough to touch, but close enough that I notice the warmth coming off his arm. If I leaned even slightly—
I don't.
Before I can say anything, voices ring across the courtyard. Jeonghan's dramatic tone and Dokyeom's telltale laughter echo toward us, Jihoon's quieter voice not far behind. The rest of our trio. I instinctively take a step back, just a small one. Not because I'm nervous—but because I can already hear the teasing. Sure enough, Jeonghan spots us and throws his arms out like he's discovered something scandalous.
"There you are!" he cries. "Were you two having a dramatic goodbye scene? Did I miss a confession? A single tear?"
Dokyeom gasps, clutching his chest. "They were definitely about to ride off into the sunset."
"We were just talking," I say, trying for casual but not quite managing it. I tug at the strap of my backpack. "Nothing scandalous."
Seungcheol laughs softly beside me, scratching the back of his neck. He looks flustered—but in a good way. A small smile tugs at his lips, and he doesn't move away.
"Just talking, huh?" Jeonghan peers between us, pretending to analyze the situation like a detective. "Then why are both of you blushing?"
"We are not—" I start, but Dokyeom gasps again, exaggerated.
"I knew it," he declares. "Even Jihoon can see the tension."
Jihoon raises an eyebrow. "I see a group of idiots standing in the way of me going home."
That shuts them up for half a second.
Seungcheol steps forward, lightly herding us toward the sidewalk. "Come on," he says, voice warm. "Let's walk."
The teasing simmers but doesn't disappear. Jeonghan throws an arm around my shoulder while Dokyeom hums some made-up theme song behind us. Jihoon trails behind with a dramatic sigh like he's already regretting this friendship.
Eventually, the group shifts and rearranges, and I find myself walking next to Seungcheol again. We're quiet for a few minutes. Our friends are louder ahead of us, bouncing jokes and stories back and forth like it's a game.
I don't mind the quiet. In fact, it feels... easy. Comfortable.
At some point, the group starts to split off—first Jihoon, then Jeonghan and Dokyeom, with parting quips that make me roll my eyes and laugh anyway. And then it's just me and Seungcheol again, heading toward my block under the soft pink-orange glow of sunset.
We slow near my house, and I turn toward him.
"Well," I say lightly, "this is me."
He nods, hands still tucked in his pockets. "Thanks for letting me walk with you."
"Thanks for not letting me get roasted alone," I reply, smiling.
His laugh is soft. "I tried my best."
A breeze picks up, rustling the trees overhead. I tug my hoodie sleeves over my hands and glance at him.
"I guess I'll see you tomorrow?" I ask.
"You better," he says, and the easy way he says it makes my heart skip.
I laugh. "Okay. Goodnight, Seungcheol."
He offers a wave, stepping back a little. "Goodnight, YN."
Just a quiet goodbye, a shared smile, and something lingering in the air—something that feels like the beginning of whatever this is turning into.
The next month is... a lot. In the best, most overwhelming, "how is it still only October?" kind of way.
I start to feel more settled. My locker stops rebelling against me. The cafeteria lady remembers my name (and my love for extra dumplings). I finally master the timing of the vending machines, so I don't end up behind the juniors who take ten years to choose between chips.
I make more friends, too. A few girls from chemistry. A tall kid from art class who speaks exclusively in dramatic metaphors. Taeyang, who seems weirdly dedicated to impressing me.
And I mean dedicated.
Every other day, he's got some new joke or skill to show off.
"You like magic tricks?" "Not particularly." "Too bad. Pick a card."
He's sweet. Harmless. His confidence is... kind of admirable, in a dizzying, secondhand-embarrassment way. But he's not the one I keep looking for across the hallway.
That's still Seungcheol. Or it was, anyway.
Things started off light. Banter. Subtle smiles. The kind of soft teasing that made my stomach flip. But lately... something's changed. He's still kind. Still around. But the playful touches and lingering glances? Gone. Like he flipped a switch.
One day we're laughing about Jihoon's handwriting in homeroom, and the next, he's slipping out early without a word. I can't tell if I did something wrong. If I imagined all of it. And maybe I'd spiral about it more if life didn't hit the accelerate button halfway through the month. Because that's when the transfers arrived.
Sonya. Wonwoo. Mingyu.
Sonya and I clicked instantly—like, soul-twin, "why haven't we met before?" levels of fast. She's sharp, effortlessly cool, and chaotic in all the best ways. The kind of person who could break your heart or braid your hair while texting four people at once. She's already doodled all over my notebooks and claimed the empty seat next to me in nearly every class we have together.
Wonwoo is quiet, unreadable, and low-key the reason Sonya's been wearing lip gloss every day. I caught her once staring at him during physics like he was the main plot and Newton's Laws were filler. She hasn't denied it.
And then there's Mingyu.
He's tall. Stupidly tall. With a smile so dazzling it should come with a warning label. The second he tripped over a desk in the middle of our history class and tried to play it off by finger-gunning the teacher, I felt it—just the tiniest flutter. A tiny, potentially dangerous flutter.
We started talking after class. Nothing big. Just little moments. Laughing at the same memes. Complaining about Mr. Cho's ancient projector. And maybe, just maybe, I started to enjoy seeing him walk through the door a little more than I should've.
Our friend group grows faster than I can keep track of. One minute it's just us—me, Jeonghan, DK, Jihoon, and (sometimes) Seungcheol—and the next, we've absorbed half the school.
Soonyoung (the human equivalent of a triple-shot espresso). Joshua (so nice it's suspicious). Jun and Minghao (from China, both effortlessly cool and too pretty to be real). Vernon (the calm one who quietly says the funniest thing you've ever heard). Chan, who insists we call him Dino and corrects us every single time. And Seungkwan, who could probably emcee the school assembly and a karaoke night back to back.
It's a lot. But it's also kind of magical.
There's something about walking into the courtyard and seeing all of them spread out—laughing, shouting over each other, fighting over snacks—and realizing they're my people now. This is my world. And it's getting bigger, louder, better by the day.
Still, every now and then, I catch Seungcheol watching from the sidelines. Not distant, exactly. Just... unsure. Like he's holding something back. And I don't know if it's because of me. But I miss the way we used to orbit closer. I miss the tension, the teasing. The not-so-subtle "maybe" that hung in the air between us. I don't know what's happening anymore.
Then:
It starts with a pencil.
Not in a cliché, "he lent me his and our fingers brushed" kind of way. No, it's much more embarrassing than that.
I forgot mine during a quiz. And panicked.
Mingyu noticed before I could even fake confidence. He tapped his pencil twice on his desk, then slid it toward me with a little smirk like he was waiting for me to crumble.
"You look like you were about to borrow Jihoon's soul instead," he whispered.
I stared at the pencil, then at him. "You're a lifesaver."
"No worries," he grinned. "But you owe me. Pencil tax."
"What's pencil tax?"
"I'll come up with something dramatic later."
And he did.
Later turned into a boba run after school, "to repay the pencil debt." He insisted on paying anyway, even though I argued it defeated the purpose. "Consider it interest," he said, before handing me my favorite drink—somehow, he remembered. Things like that keep happening.
He finds me at lunch, dropping into the seat across from me like he's always been there. Laughs a little too hard at my jokes. Offers to carry my books between classes. Sometimes I catch him watching me from across the room, and when I glance back, he just grins like I've proven a point he never said out loud.
Sonya teases me constantly now. Elbows me every time Mingyu says something even vaguely flirty. "You like him," she sings once, and I almost launch a shoe at her.
But she's not entirely wrong. There's a tension there. A spark. Something light and new and easy. And it's exciting. Still... it feels different. Not better, not worse. Just different.
Like Mingyu flirts to make me smile—and Seungcheol used to flirt like he couldn't help it.
And lately, Seungcheol's been quieter than ever.
I still catch him around the group. He's still himself, still warm, still steady. But he doesn't sit next to me anymore when there's space. Doesn't say much unless someone asks. There's a distance there now, soft and subtle but noticeable if you're looking. Which I am.
Especially when I see him glance between me and Mingyu and then look away, like something stings and he's pretending it doesn't.
Jeonghan notices, of course. He watches me watch Seungcheol like he's tracking subtext in a romcom and mentally rating our tension out of ten.
Meanwhile, Dokyeom's thriving on the chaos. He makes jokes. "So YN's starting a love triangle? Bold of you this early in the year." He says it with popcorn in hand like he's waiting for someone to make a dramatic confession under the bleachers.
Jihoon, as always, is unimpressed. "It's not a triangle," he mutters one afternoon. "It's a bunch of teenagers too emotionally repressed to talk to each other."
"Beautiful," Jeonghan says. "Poetic. But I'm still taking bets."
I don't say much. Because I don't know how I feel. Mingyu is warm, sweet, and charming. He makes me laugh. He makes it easy. But Seungcheol still lingers in my head—quiet and careful and frustrating in a way that makes me miss him even when we're standing in the same room.
And if I'm honest? I don't know who I want to pull me closer first. But I know I'm waiting for someone to try.
It all comes to a head on a Wednesday.
We're at the table behind the science building, the one our whole group's unofficially claimed as our own. It's shaded, slightly cracked, and only fits half of us comfortably, which means someone's always sitting on the tabletop, legs swinging over the side, or plopped on the ground with a bag as a makeshift pillow.
Today, it's a full house. Joshua's trying to teach Jun and Minghao how to play some card game with far too many rules. Dino's munching chips and yelling "no spoilers!" every time someone even hints at the ending of the movie we're watching this weekend. Seungkwan is explaining, in alarming detail, the ranking of idol survival shows based on emotional damage. It's chaos. Loud and colorful and familiar.
I'm perched on the bench beside Sonya, legs crossed under me, sipping a cold drink she made me try from the corner store. It's too sweet. I love it anyway. Mingyu flops down dramatically across from us, hair ruffled, tie loose around his neck. "Is it hot, or is it just me?"
"It's always just you," Seungkwan mutters.
"It's hot," I say, fanning myself with a worksheet. "Maybe you shouldn't sprint here from PE like the main character in a drama."
"Hey, I make it look good," Mingyu winks.
Sonya leans toward me, whispering out of the side of her mouth, "He's flirting again."
"I know."
"Do you like it?"
"I don't know."
Across the table, Seungcheol's quiet. He's sitting with his elbows on his knees, picking at the label of his water bottle. Not sulking, exactly. But not present, either. He hasn't joined in the conversation, hasn't made a snarky remark in minutes. He only glances up when I laugh at something Mingyu says.
And it's a glance like a paper cut—quick, sharp, barely there, but it stings all the same.
Later, I sit on the edge of the table with Sonya and Jun, dangling my legs while they argue about the worst cafeteria meals. Mingyu comes up behind me and taps my shoulder with the back of his hand.
"Hey, YN. I was wondering—do you wanna study for the bio quiz later? I was gonna hit the library after school."
Before I can answer, I feel eyes on me. I look up instinctively, and sure enough—across the yard, Seungcheol's looking right at us. I freeze. He doesn't. He just holds my gaze for a beat too long, then turns away like nothing happened.
"Uh, maybe," I tell Mingyu. "Let me check my notes. I'll text you."
He beams. "Cool. No pressure."
As he walks away, Sonya nudges me again. "You're torn," she whispers.
"Yeah," I breathe. "I think I am."
Because here's the thing: Mingyu makes me feel wanted. But Seungcheol makes me feel seen.
And lately, I'm starting to realize—those aren't the same thing.
That night, Jeonghan calls me.
"I'm just saying," he starts without so much as a hello, "I've never seen him look at anyone the way he looks at you."
"I don't know what you mean."
"You do."
"I really don't."
There's a pause.
Then, softer: "Do you like him?"
I don't answer. Mostly because I don't know how.
Jeonghan sighs. "YN. Look, I'm not trying to rush you. But you gotta figure it out before someone gets hurt."
He doesn't say who. He doesn't have to.
The next day, Seungcheol doesn't sit next to me in class. And I realize it's the first time in weeks he hasn't. Something's shifting. And I have no idea which way it's about to go.
By Friday, I've had enough.
Enough of the tension, the unreadable glances, the way Seungcheol pulls away just when it feels like we're getting close. It's like trying to hold smoke. One second he's warm and steady by my side—the next, he's distant, half-vanished, like I imagined the whole thing.
And I'm tired of waiting. For a look. For a sign. For a maybe. So I make a choice. It starts with a simple yes.
"Yes," I say, turning toward Mingyu in the middle of lunch, interrupting a story about the disastrous time he tried to cook instant noodles without water.
"Yes?"
"To studying," I clarify, smiling. "Today. After school. I'm free."
He grins like I just handed him front-row tickets to his own birthday party. "Really? Nice. I'll even buy you snacks. Brain fuel. My treat."
"Careful," Jeonghan chimes in, not even looking up from his phone. "She has expensive taste."
"She eats hot Cheetos and banana milk like it's a five-star combo," Jihoon deadpans.
"She's consistent," Dokyeom defends, patting my back. "I respect that."
Mingyu laughs, turning back to me. "Whatever you want. I'm just happy you said yes."
It's cute. He's cute.
And when he smiles like that—boyish, soft around the edges—I let myself feel it. The flutter in my chest. The way my cheeks warm just slightly. I let myself feel wanted.
After school, we sit across from each other at the library table closest to the window. Golden light filters through the blinds, striping his notebook and my half-eaten snack bag. He's easy to talk to. Funny. A little clumsy—he drops his pen twice and accidentally elbows his drink across the table—but he makes me laugh in the way that makes your stomach clench and your jaw ache.
We quiz each other until the sun dips low enough that the librarian flips the lights on, and even then, we don't leave right away. We just linger—talking about music, favorite ramen shops, weird childhood dreams.
I don't realize I've been smiling for most of it until Mingyu says, "I like it when you laugh."
"What?"
He shrugs sheepishly. "You laugh like you mean it. Like it takes over your whole face."
And I feel it again—that tiny flutter. Except this time, there's no guilt tethered to it.
"I laugh a lot around you," I say, quiet but honest.
He doesn't say anything. Just reaches out and flicks a crumb from my sleeve with this soft, fond expression that makes something in me shift.
Maybe I'm allowed to like this. Maybe I'm allowed to let it happen.
The following day, I walk into school and find Jeonghan already waiting at my locker like a nosy guardian angel.
"So?" he asks, eyes twinkling. "How was your little study date?"
"It wasn't a date," I say, unlocking my locker.
He gasps. "That means it went well."
I roll my eyes, but I can't help but smile. "It was... nice. Mingyu's nice."
He hums. "Seungcheol's been sulking."
I glance at him sharply. "What?"
He shrugs. "Didn't say anything, but he had That Look on his face when you left with Mingyu. You know the one."
I don't answer. Because I do know the one. And because part of me wants to look back and ask, why didn't he say anything? But I don't.
Instead, I close my locker and say, "Well, I'm done waiting."
And for the first time in weeks, I mean it.
The next few days are a whirlwind. Mingyu finds any excuse to talk to me—passing notes in class, sliding into group conversations with ease, offering me the last choco pie from his lunchbox like it's a rare gem. It's sweet. He's sweet.
After all, Seungcheol has been nothing but quiet glances and half-smiles lately. A ghost of what we almost were, if we were ever anything at all. And I'm not chasing ghosts anymore.
So when Mingyu slings his arm over my shoulders during a group project and leans in a little too close to whisper a joke in my ear—I laugh. Loudly. And I feel Seungcheol's eyes on me across the room. Burning. Brief. Then gone.
It happens again at lunch. Mingyu's sitting beside me, our knees brushing beneath the table, and he's animatedly recounting a story about him and Wonwoo getting chased by a rogue cat outside a convenience store. My head tips back in laughter just as Seungcheol sits down across from us, tray clattering a little louder than necessary.
Dokyeom clocks it immediately. His eyes dart between Seungcheol and me like he's watching a tennis match.
"So," he says loudly, drawing out the word, "how's the new dynamic duo?"
"Us?"
Mingyu flashes that dimpled grin. "We make a good team. YN's the brains, I'm the moral support."
"And the walking disaster," I tease, nudging his knee.
Seungcheol's fork pauses midair.
Jeonghan leans back in his seat, hands behind his head, wearing the smuggest grin I've ever seen. "You know, this is fascinating. Really. The romantic tension in this group is going to reach critical mass soon."
"You're not allowed to turn real life into fanfiction," Jihoon says flatly, not looking up from his lunch.
Minghao glances between all of us, brows raised. "Do I want to know?"
"No," Seungcheol mutters, stabbing a piece of kimchi like it insulted him personally.
I glance at him, heart hiccuping at the tension in his jaw. There's something different in his gaze today. Not soft. Not shy. Sharp, almost. And for the first time, I'm the one feeling watched. Later, after lunch, as I'm walking to class with Sonya and Mingyu, I hear footsteps fall into rhythm beside me. Seungcheol.
"Hey," he says, voice low. He's not looking at me, just forward.
"Hey," I echo, unsure.
A pause.
Then, suddenly: "You and Mingyu."
I glance at him. "What about us?"
"Are you...?" He trails off, running a hand through his hair, clearly frustrated. "Never mind."
I stop walking. "Cheol."
He stops too, just ahead of me. Turns around slowly. His expression is unreadable. Quiet and conflicted in that Seungcheol way I'm starting to resent a little. The silence stretches until it stings.
"You don't get to ask," I say softly. "Not if you're not going to answer anything yourself."
He swallows. Nods once. "Fair."
Then he walks away. I stay frozen for a moment, heart tight in my chest.
Behind me, Mingyu gently touches my arm. "You okay?"
I turn to him. Smile. "Yeah. Let's go."
Because maybe Seungcheol is finally feeling something. But right now, I want someone who's showing it. And Mingyu's hand brushing mine as we walk says more than Seungcheol ever has.
Over the next week, Mingyu becomes a permanent fixture at my side.
At lunch, he claims the spot next to me before anyone else can. In the hallway, his hand always hovers a little too close to mine. When we're paired for assignments, he grins like he's just won the lottery.
I don't stop him. If anything, I lean in—literally and figuratively.
"YN, are you even listening?" Mingyu nudges me during study hall.
I blink, caught mid-daydream. "Huh?"
He chuckles, tilting his head, his smile doing that devastating thing again. "I was saying if we survive this group project, I owe you bubble tea. But now I'm thinking you owe me one, for enduring your zoning out."
"I was thinking deeply about math, thank you very much."
He raises an eyebrow. "Right. Totally math. Not me."
I roll my eyes. "Don't flatter yourself, Kim." But my grin gives me away.
After school, he walks me home. Not always—but more often than not. He kicks pebbles down the sidewalk and talks about his dog, his love for horror movies, how he once tried to dye his hair blue and ended up looking like a Smurf. I laugh until my stomach hurts. And I realize—somewhere along the way—I look forward to this. To him.
He's warm, magnetic, easy in a way that makes me want to stay close. And he's not shy about how he feels, either.
"You ever gonna let me take you out?" he asks one evening, casual like it's not the question that's been hanging in the air for days.
I freeze for a heartbeat, startled. "Is that what this has been? You flirting with me to get a date?"
He chuckles. "What gave it away?"
"I don't know... the constant compliments? The boba bribes?"
"Hey," he says, feigning offense, "you never said no to the boba."
I smile. "Maybe I didn't want to."
He slows to a stop, just outside my gate, backpack slung over one shoulder. "So? You gonna let me?"
There's a beat of silence between us. Then I step forward, poking him lightly in the chest. "Only if you let me pay for the second date."
His grin is immediate. "Deal."
Across the street, someone calls his name—Wonwoo, waiting at the corner.
"I'll text you," Mingyu says as he jogs backward, that smile never leaving his face. "Don't ghost me, YN!"
"I won't!" I call, heart thudding in my chest.
And I mean it.
This feels like me choosing myself. Even if, somewhere deep down, part of me wonders what Seungcheol would've done if I hadn't said yes.
It only takes a day for the news to travel.
Okay, maybe not "news" exactly—but in the world of high school hallways and group chats that never sleep, one look at the way Mingyu slings an arm around my shoulder as we walk into school the next morning is enough to set the tone.
"So," Sonya drawls, flopping into her seat beside me in homeroom, "did I miss the memo or are we officially crushing on the tall golden retriever now?"
I open my mouth to deny it—and immediately close it again when Mingyu appears in the doorway and flashes me that sunbeam of a smile.
Sonya follows my gaze. "Aha."
We haven't labeled anything, not really. But when we sit next to each other in class, his knee taps mine like a secret. When we pass each other in the hallway, his fingers find mine for a second longer than necessary. During lunch, he doesn't even ask before dropping his tray next to mine like it's the most natural thing in the world.
"You two are gross," Jeonghan declares one afternoon, after watching Mingyu wipe sauce from the corner of my mouth with his thumb.
I snort into my drink. "Says the guy who made Dokyeom recreate a proposal with a bread roll in the cafeteria last week."
"That was performance art," Dokyeom argues, dead serious.
Seungcheol, sitting across from me, says nothing. He's been quieter lately—still around, still part of the group, but the easy rhythm we were building before has shifted. I catch him watching sometimes—his gaze lingering a little too long, his laugh just a beat late. And when Mingyu leans in close to whisper something in my ear, I swear Seungcheol's whole body tenses, just for a second.
Jihoon notices too. I can tell by the way he watches Seungcheol watching me. But he doesn't say anything. Just occasionally shoots me a look across the table like he's silently asking, You good? I am. I think.
Mingyu makes it easy. He's warm and silly, and ridiculously charming in that "trip over his own feet and still land cool" kind of way. He gives me attention without making it feel like pressure. He listens when I ramble about my favorite books, offers to carry my backpack when I'm too tired, and remembers that I like exactly three ice cubes in my iced coffee—not two, not four, three.
We aren't official. But everyone knows So when Mingyu finds me by the vending machine after sixth period and grins, I already know something ridiculous is coming.
"Date idea," he says. "We recreate that scene from Titanic."
"You mean—the boat?"
"No," he says seriously. "The door. We build a raft and test whether both of us could've survived."
I stare at him. "Why are you like this?"
He just shrugs, still grinning. "If we're gonna be iconic, we might as well start now."
I laugh, and his fingers brush mine, soft and deliberate. Behind him, down the hall, I catch Seungcheol standing by his locker. Our eyes meet. And just like that, the breath in my chest wobbles. But Mingyu's hand finds mine again, and the moment passes.
At lunch the next day, Jeonghan pokes me on the side as he plops down beside me. "So... when's the wedding?"
I throw a carrot stick at his head. Dokyeom catches it mid-air and eats it like it's a treat. Jihoon rolls his eyes so hard they practically leave orbit. And across the table, Seungcheol watches me and Mingyu laugh with that unreadable expression again—like he's trying to figure out when exactly everything changed. And maybe—just maybe—he's wondering if it's too late to change it back.
Then, a note. Not a text. Not a DM. A literal folded-up scrap of notebook paper slipped under my water bottle during lunch while I'm deep in conversation with Sonya.
I blink down at it: For YN (a very important human). Do not open until after lunch. This is very serious.
I raise an eyebrow.
Across the table, Mingyu is very busy pretending he isn't watching me. He's focused on peeling the sticker off his banana like it's a bomb he's disarming.
"Did you just—" I start.
"—hmm?" he says innocently, eyes wide. "Banana?"
Sonya leans in. "Girl, open it."
I wait. I do. But the second the lunch bell rings and trays start clattering, I unfold the note. Inside, written in very questionable handwriting and at least two different pen colors:
YN,
This is going to sound cooler in my head than it probably does in real life, but go with me here:
You're one of my favorite people. You're funny and smart and terrifyingly good at making fun of me. You make school days feel like movie scenes. And I like being near you. So I was wondering— Wanna go on a date?
Like a real one. Just me. Just you. No Jeonghan hiding in a tree with binoculars (hopefully). Just us.
I can even promise I won't talk about conspiracy theories or make you taste-test my weird smoothie recipes. (Unless you want to.) Check yes or yes:
[] yes [] also yes — Mingyu
P.S. If this note flopped, pretend I dropped it by accident and never read it. I'll fake a nosebleed and run.
Mingyu is still at the trash can, very slowly and very dramatically throwing away a banana peel like he's buying himself time to pretend this isn't happening.
I stand, and he turns, eyes locking with mine, hopeful and slightly terrified. I hold up the note, shake it once in the air, then grin. "You forgot a box that says obviously."
His jaw drops, and Sonya whoops behind me. Mingyu bolts over like a golden retriever off the leash. "Wait, is that—was that a yes? That's a yes, right?"
I laugh. "Yes, Kim Mingyu. It's a yes." He fist pumps. Loudly. And then, without warning, spins me in a circle like we're in a Disney Channel hallway. We nearly knock over a trash can.
Jihoon—passing by—pauses, blinks, and just mutters, "I hate all of you," before walking off.
That night, I text him:
Where are we going?
He sends back:
Anywhere. But I hear the smoothie place by your house now has a "girlfriend discount."
Me: ...so that's what this was about.
Mingyu: Only partially. Mostly I just like you. Also I need you to tell me if my shirt options are ugly.
The Date: The smoothie shop near my house is a little too on-the-nose. Cute fairy lights strung across the windows, chalkboard specials written in curly letters, and some kind of acoustic cover of "Love Story" playing faintly over the speakers. It feels like it should be cheesy. But with Mingyu bouncing beside me in a denim jacket two sizes too big, it just feels right.
"This is totally not a first date spot," I tease as we step inside.
"Oh, no," he says seriously. "It's way better. I figured, why not take the prettiest girl I know to the ugliest-tasting smoothie bar in Seoul?"
"Wait, the smoothies are bad?"
"Terrible," he grins, eyes crinkling. "But the straws are biodegradable."
We both burst out laughing. We order something purple and suspicious-looking, and Mingyu insists on paying ("They're giving me the loyal customer in love discount," he claims). He grabs the booth in the corner, then proceeds to quiz me on my zombie apocalypse plan, my Hogwarts house, and whether I believe in aliens.
"Your ideal date involves conspiracy theories and doomsday scenarios?" I laugh.
"Only if they end with me holding your hand."
My face burns. He's grinning like a goof and not even trying to be smooth—but that's the thing. It works on me. Everything about him does.
Later, we walk to the nearby park, still sipping from those stupid smoothies and talking about everything from childhood dreams to who we'd pick as our three-person heist team (Mingyu, of course, picks himself three times). And as the sun dips low, casting pink and gold across the sky, Mingyu reaches for my hand. Not in a big, dramatic way. Just a soft brush, fingers curling slowly around mine like he's testing the waters.
I let him. And squeeze back.
The Next Day – Lunch Table Chaos: I barely sit down at our usual lunch table before Sonya blurts, "So? How was it?!"
Dokyeom nearly spills his milk. "Wait—it happened?!"
Jeonghan, of course, is already leaning across the table like an aunt at a family reunion. "Tell us everything. Did he cry? He looks like he'd cry on first dates."
"He did not cry," I laugh, stealing a bite of Sonya's lunch. "But he did try to convince me Bigfoot is a misunderstood forest gentleman."
"I stand by that," Mingyu calls out from the other side, cheeks puffed with rice.
Joshua, wide-eyed and clutching his tray, just hums. "Honestly? I kinda believe that."
"Of course you do," Jihoon mutters, stabbing at his food.
I glance around, still giggling from the whirlwind of voices—and that's when I notice. Seungcheol isn't here. The realization hits me like a wrong note in an otherwise perfect chord. His usual spot, right across from Jihoon, is empty. Untouched lunch tray. Unclaimed seat.
"Where's Cheol?" I ask, trying to sound casual.
Jihoon doesn't look up. "Said he wasn't hungry."
Jeonghan glances at me briefly, something unreadable flashing in his eyes before he shrugs. "Probably sulking about that gym class dodgeball loss." But he's lying. I can tell.
And when Sonya nudges me under the table and raises her eyebrows, I realize she knows it too.
Mingyu, bless his oblivious heart, just throws an arm over the back of my chair and starts talking about a new movie he wants us to watch together. And I nod and laugh and listen...
But in the corner of my mind, all I can think about is that empty seat—and what it might mean.
Later That Day — After School: The hallway is quieter than usual. Most students have already scattered, and I linger near the lockers, heart thudding just a little faster than normal.
I spot him down the corridor—leaning against the vending machine, hood up, staring blankly at the row of drinks like they personally offended him.
"Hey," I say softly, stepping up beside him.
Seungcheol doesn't look at me right away. He just shoves some coins into the machine and presses a button. "Hey."
I rock back on my heels. "You missed lunch."
"Yeah," he mutters. The bottle thuds into the slot below, and he bends to grab it.
I pause. "You okay?"
He twists the cap off the drink. Shrugs. "Just had stuff to do."
"Right," I nod slowly. "Important vending machine business."
That gets the faintest twitch of his lips—but it doesn't reach his eyes.
"I noticed you didn't say much today." I tilt my head, watching him. "Everything cool between us?"
He finally looks at me. His gaze is steady, a little guarded, but not cold. "You and Mingyu looked pretty happy."
The shift in my stomach is immediate. I blink. "We are," I say carefully. "But that doesn't mean I want... weirdness between us."
Seungcheol huffs out a quiet breath—half laugh, half sigh. "There's no weirdness, YN."
"You sure?"
"I'm sure," he says, offering a small smile that looks practiced. "We're good."
But I don't quite believe him. He takes a sip of his drink, and before I can say anything else, he pushes off the vending machine and gives me a gentle nod. "See you tomorrow."
And just like that, he walks off. And it hurts more than I expected.
The Rest of the Week — Group Dynamics Shift: By Tuesday, things settle... sort of.
Mingyu's still walking me to class with his ridiculous grin and carrying my backpack like it's a love declaration. Sonya has become the official president of the Mingyu and YN Defense Squad (self-appointed, naturally). Dokyeom and Jeonghan are insufferable about it, whispering behind their hands every time Mingyu so much as breathes near me.
"Should we start planning the wedding now, or...?" Jeonghan hums, scrolling on his phone.
"I call best man," Dokyeom says immediately.
"You're both banned," I deadpan.
But behind the teasing, I notice the subtle shifts.
Seungcheol still shows up—but he's quieter. Laughs when someone cracks a joke, but it doesn't stick. He doesn't sit next to me anymore. Doesn't meet my eyes as often. Even Jihoon notices.
"You know," he says one afternoon, sitting across from me as we all do homework at the café down the block, "he's not mad at you."
I look up from my notebook. "I never said he was."
"You don't have to," Jihoon says bluntly. "Just saying... he's still figuring out how to be okay."
I glance toward where Seungcheol sits at the far end of the booth, headphones in, nodding along to whatever playlist he's buried in. He looks calm. But I know him well enough now to recognize a performance when I see one.
Still, I can't bring myself to fix it. Not yet. Not when I'm still trying to figure out if I made the right choice—or if this ache in my chest is trying to tell me something I'm not ready to admit.
Thursday Evening – My Room: My curtains are drawn, the soft yellow glow from my desk lamp the only light in the room. The usual clutter—books, my hoodie draped over the chair, a pair of mismatched socks near the bed—makes it feel lived in, but tonight, it just feels... still.
I'm lying on my stomach, chin resting on my crossed arms, while Jihoon sits in the beanbag near the window. He's been here for about an hour, supposedly helping me revise for our bio quiz. But so far, we've gotten through maybe one and a half flashcards.
My head's been elsewhere. And Jihoon knows it.
"Okay," he finally says, flipping the flashcard in his hand without even looking at it. "Spit it out."
"What?"
"You've been sighing like a drama heroine for the past twenty minutes," he deadpans. "What's going on in that overactive brain of yours?"
I let out another sigh for good measure. "It's nothing."
Jihoon levels me with a look. "YN."
I groan and bury my face in my arms. "It's just... everything."
"Be more vague," he says dryly. "I dare you."
I push myself up so I'm sitting cross-legged, fiddling with the string on my sweatpants. "It's Mingyu. And Seungcheol. And me. And the universe, probably."
"That narrows it down."
I toss a pillow at him. He dodges it with a smirk and waits.
"I like Mingyu," I admit quietly. "I really do. He's funny, and sweet, and he makes everything feel easy."
Jihoon nods, not saying anything yet.
"But..." I pause. "There's always a but, isn't there?"
He raises an eyebrow. "Usually."
"It's just—Cheol." My voice dips without meaning to. "He's been pulling away, and I keep wondering if I did something wrong. If... I misread everything from the beginning."
Jihoon leans his head back against the wall, thoughtful. "You didn't misread it."
I look up, surprised. "What?"
"He likes you," Jihoon says simply. "It's obvious. Has been since the second he met you."
"Then why—?"
"Because he's Seungcheol," Jihoon shrugs. "He cares too much and doesn't always know what to do with it."
I chew on my bottom lip, heart heavy. "So now what? I'm dating Mingyu. I chose him. But... sometimes I still catch Seungcheol looking at me like—like he's still hoping."
Jihoon doesn't respond right away. He watches me for a long moment, then finally speaks.
"You don't have to have all the answers right now. But you do have to be honest—with yourself and with them. Especially with Mingyu."
That hits a little too close. I look down, twisting the cardigan sleeve I'm wearing—Seungcheol's cardigan, still folded around me like a comfort I can't let go of.
"I didn't mean for it to get this complicated," I whisper.
"Yeah, well," Jihoon mutters, grabbing a second flashcard. "It's high school. Welcome to the chaos."
I huff a quiet laugh, even as my heart tightens in my chest.
Jihoon's about to say something else when my door creaks open without warning.
"Hope I'm not interrupting anything scandalous," Sonya says, poking her head in with a teasing grin. "But someone left the kettle on, and I figured you'd want tea before your existential crisis fully peaks."
"You made tea?"
"Peppermint," she says, stepping into the room and holding out a steaming mug like peace offering. "And don't worry—I added a spoon of honey, because you look like you've been dragged through three emotional monologues and a slow burn romance arc."
Jihoon snorts from his beanbag. "She's halfway through act three, yeah."
"Perfect," Sonya says, settling cross-legged beside me and handing over the mug. "Now spill. What's the verdict? Are we madly in love with Mingyu? Or is the Seungcheol situation still taking up real estate in your head?"
My cheeks burn. "You guys make it sound like I'm living in a soap opera."
"You kind of are," Sonya says, not unkindly. "With less backstabbing and more brooding hallway glances."
"She's not wrong," Jihoon murmurs.
I take a sip of tea, the warmth blooming in my chest like something close to comfort. "It's not that I don't like Mingyu," I say quietly. "I do. He's... everything, really. And I'm happy."
Sonya hums. "But?"
I stare at the rim of my mug. "But sometimes I think about Seungcheol. And not in a what if I picked him instead kind of way, just... in this quiet, sad sort of way. Like we missed something."
Sonya is quiet for a beat. "I think that's allowed," she says finally. "You're not a robot. You're allowed to feel complicated things."
Jihoon sighs like this entire conversation has emotionally aged him ten years. "You should just host a love triangle support group at this point. I'll make snacks."
Sonya grins. "I'll bring tissues."
I laugh, setting the mug on my nightstand. "You guys are the worst."
"But also the best," Sonya says, bumping her shoulder into mine. "And for what it's worth? Mingyu clearly adores you. And Seungcheol... well, let's just say the boy's been looking like a kicked puppy every time you're not around."
"That's an insult to puppies," Jihoon mutters, but he doesn't deny it.
I bury my face in my hands and groan. "This is so messy."
Sonya leans back on her palms, giving me a knowing look. "Yeah. But if anyone's going to make it through high school love geometry without combusting, it's you."
Jihoon lifts his mug in mock toast. "To surviving teenage angst."
I lift mine too. "Barely."
Sonya smiles, clinking her mug against ours. "To the chaos. And to figuring it out."
If you had told me a month ago that I'd start dating Mingyu, spend almost every lunch by his side, walk home with our hands brushing more often than not, and then break up without a single tear or fight—I would've laughed in your face.
But here we are. A month later. Still sitting across from each other at lunch. Still teasing, still bickering like always. The only difference now? There's no flutter in my chest when he smiles. No skipped heartbeat when our shoulders bump. And the same goes for him.
It didn't happen all at once. There wasn't a big moment or a dramatic shift. Just... a series of little ones.
The way our conversations started drifting toward other people. How we started hanging out with the group more than just the two of us. How I stopped overthinking my texts, and he stopped calling me babe and went back to YN without either of us flinching.
And then one night, walking home, we looked at each other and just kind of... laughed.
"This feels weird, right?" he said, tugging at his hoodie strings.
I snorted. "So weird."
He smiled at me. "I think I like you better as my chaos partner."
"Same," I said without missing a beat. "You're a terrible flirt anyway."
"Wow," he gasped, clutching his chest. "And to think I almost let you meet my dog."
"You don't even have a dog."
"I was gonna get one for the bit!"
We broke up right there on the sidewalk—if you can even call it that. No tears. No bitterness. Just two people realizing the thing they were holding onto so carefully wasn't quite the thing they thought it was. And that was okay.
Of course, the group didn't take it quite as smoothly.
"You what?" Jeonghan asked the next morning at lunch, his eyes nearly bugging out of his head.
"We broke up," I said simply, popping a grape into my mouth.
Dokyeom blinked. "Since when?"
"Last night."
"And you're... fine?" Jeonghan asked, narrowing his eyes like he was waiting for the emotional breakdown to surface.
"We're good," Mingyu confirmed, sitting beside me and digging into his sandwich like he hadn't just blown everyone's minds.
Jihoon, across the table, barely looked up from his notes. "Told you it wasn't gonna last," he mumbled, scribbling something in his margins.
"Wow, thanks for the optimism, Ji," I said dryly.
He shrugged. "You're happier now. That's what matters."
Meanwhile, Soonyoung sat frozen, blinking rapidly. "Wait. So you're not together? At all?"
"Nope."
"And there's... no secret pining? No dramatic tension? No hidden love letters?"
Mingyu and I looked at each other and then back at him. "Nope," we said in unison.
Soonyoung slumped dramatically in his seat. "Man, what's the point of even being in high school if we're not living in a K-drama?"
Joshua laughed from down the table. "They're being adults about it. You should try it sometime."
"Never," Soonyoung replied. "I live for the drama."
Mingyu just leaned back, grinning. "Then you're watching the wrong couple."
Everyone's gaze collectively shifted.
And I didn't even have to look to know who they were looking at.
Because the moment that sentence left Mingyu's mouth, I could feel it.
The way Seungcheol went quiet across the courtyard. The way his eyes flicked to me just a second too long. The way Jeonghan raised an eyebrow, and Jihoon sighed like he was already bracing for what came next.
But that? That's another story.
For now, I'm single again. And strangely at peace.
Mingyu and I still share jokes. Sonya's still my right-hand girl. And Seungcheol... well. He's still watching from a distance.
The rest of lunch goes by in a blur of half-listened conversations and forced laughter. Mingyu's still cracking jokes, Sonya's nudging my elbow every time someone mentions anything remotely flirty, and Dokyeom keeps dramatically reenacting his imagined version of our breakup like it was some tragic K-drama finale.
"But what about the line, YN?" he cries, clutching his chest. "The 'I like you better as my chaos partner'—oh my god, it's like Shakespeare in hoodies."
"Please stop," I mutter, hiding my face behind my water bottle.
Seungcheol hasn't said a word.
He's at the end of the table, poking at his rice like it personally offended him, occasionally muttering something to Jihoon or Vernon but otherwise staying quiet. I sneak a glance his way and catch him already looking. He looks away just as fast.
I sigh and peel the wrapper off my snack bar with too much force, the plastic crinkling louder than it should.
He's been like this for weeks now—ever since I started getting closer to Mingyu. No more casual banter, no more half-smiles between classes, no more sarcastic jabs that made my stomach flip for no good reason. He hasn't been rude, exactly. Just... distant. Neutral. Professional, almost. Like we're classmates, not friends. Like we never spent an entire walk home laughing about nothing. Like he never let his hand rest on the small of my back like it meant something. It's driving me insane.
After lunch, I catch up with Sonya while heading to science class.
"Okay," she says, pushing her hair out of her face, "you and Mingyu are good, we've emotionally processed that, blah blah—now can we talk about the fact that someone hasn't looked at you for more than two seconds all week?"
"Which 'someone' are we referring to?" I ask innocently, even though I already know exactly who she means.
Sonya gives me a deadpan look. "Cheol. Your mysterious, broody almost-but-not-quite something."
I snort. "We were never—"
"Oh, save it," she says, waving me off. "I was there when he offered you his cardigan and stood outside your gate like he was auditioning for a romance movie. That's not 'just friends' energy."
I open my mouth, then shut it again. Because she's not wrong.
"I don't get it," I finally say, rounding the corner with her. "He was warm and sweet and borderline flirty for a solid two weeks. Then I start talking to someone else and he ghosts me emotionally. Like, what is that?"
"He likes you," she says easily. "And he's sulking."
"That's not how you handle your feelings."
"It is when you're a teenage boy with the emotional range of a teaspoon," she says, dead serious. "Give him time. Or don't. You could always call him out and see what happens."
I hesitate. "That feels... risky."
Sonya shrugs. "So is every good story. But for now, we let him simmer in his mysteriousness. Come on. Mr. Lee's class awaits."
We slide into our seats just as the bell rings. I try to focus on the whiteboard, the lesson, anything that isn't the brooding figure two rows behind me who won't even breathe in my direction. But I can feel it—the way the air changes when he shifts, the tension rolling off of him like a silent tide.
He's not mad. But he's definitely something. And for the first time in weeks, I realize: I want to know what it is.
The courtyard is quiet. Golden sunlight spills across the cracked pavement as the last few students filter out of the gates, voices trailing behind them until they're swallowed by the street noise beyond. I should be heading home. I know that. But I linger by the gate, backpack strap gripped tight in one hand. I had told the others I'd wait for them—Jeonghan, Jihoon, DK—but somewhere between my last class and the front gate, I changed my mind. I wanted space.
"Hey," a voice says behind me. Familiar. Soft.
I don't turn around immediately, but I already know who it is. Seungcheol. He approaches slowly, like he's not sure he has the right to. Maybe he doesn't.
"You waiting for the guys?" he asks, tentative.
I shake my head. "Decided to walk home alone today."
He stops a few steps from me. "Oh."
I don't say anything. I shift my weight, eyes fixed on the sidewalk ahead like it might open up and swallow me whole.
There's a long pause. The kind that makes you feel every second pressing down on your chest.
"I wasn't sure if you'd talk to me," he says eventually.
I glance over at him, just enough to meet his eyes. "I'm still not sure I want to."
His face tightens, just a little, like he expected it but still hoped for something else. "Fair."
I start walking. Not fast, just enough to signal that I'm not interested in standing still. He hesitates for a second, then follows beside me, matching my pace.
We walk in silence for a block. A cool breeze kicks up, rustling the trees above. I don't look at him, and he doesn't push.
Then, finally: "I owe you an apology."
I stay quiet. He continues anyway.
"I should've said something. Should've explained why I pulled back. But I didn't. I just... left you hanging."
I stop walking. He stops too. I turn toward him. "Yeah. You did."
The air shifts between us, heavier now.
"I got jealous," he admits, voice low. "That's not an excuse, but... it's the truth. I didn't know how to deal with it. Seeing you and Mingyu—he's easy to like. He makes you laugh. You looked happy, and I thought maybe that was better for you. Safer."
I blink at him, stunned—not by the words themselves, but by the nerve of him saying them now, like we could just pick up where he left me.
"You ghosted me because you were jealous?" I repeat, disbelief threading into my tone.
"I didn't mean to—"
"But you did." My voice is soft, but it doesn't waver. "You disappeared. You didn't check in. You didn't say a thing. Not even when everything felt like it was falling apart."
He looks like he wants to reach for me, to close the space between us, but he doesn't.
"I'm sorry," he says again, quieter this time. "I really am."
"I'm not saying I don't care," I say, biting the inside of my cheek. "Because I do. That's what makes this worse. You were my friend, Cheol. You mattered to me. And you just... vanished."
He opens his mouth to say something, then closes it again. The streetlamp above us flickers, casting long shadows that dance at our feet.
"I get it," he finally says. "I messed up."
I nod once, slow and deliberate. "Yeah. You did."
Another pause.
"I don't expect you to forgive me right now," he says. "I just... needed you to know. I never stopped wanting to be around you. I just got scared. And stupid."
I close my eyes for a beat, then take a breath. When I open them, I meet his gaze squarely.
"I need time, Seungcheol."
"Okay."
"I don't hate you. But I'm still hurt. And I don't want to pretend like that didn't happen just because it's easier now."
"I'm not asking you to," he says gently. "Take all the time you need."
I nod, hugging my arms around myself.
"I'll head home from here," I say, already taking a step back toward my side street. "I just want to walk the rest of the way alone."
He gives a short, understanding nod. "Okay."
"Goodnight, Seungcheol."
"Goodnight, YN."
And just like that, I turn and walk away. Not angry. Not broken. Just tired—and healing.
The morning sun barely filters through the half-drawn blinds when I settle into my seat for first period. The classroom buzzes with the usual energy—shuffling bags, chairs dragging across tile, someone in the back already cracking dumb jokes—but it all feels muted to me. Distant.
I rest my chin on my hand and let my eyes wander to the window. The teacher walks in and starts reviewing the homework, but the words blur around the edges. I manage to scribble down a few things, but I can feel it—everyone else is moving forward, laughing, chatting, doing normal high school things, and I'm stuck.
It's not that I want to mope. I hate being that person. But after last night—after Seungcheol's awkward half-confession and my own barely stitched-together response—I don't exactly feel like myself. The whole walk home played in my head like a loop I couldn't escape. The way he said it was jealousy. The way I had to shut it down.
"YN," the teacher calls, snapping me out of my daze. "Can you read question five?"
"Uh—yeah. Sorry." I fumble with my textbook, cheeks warm, and read the question aloud, trying to focus. But it's hard when I can feel the eyes on me.
Sonya leans over as soon as we're dismissed for group work, her voice hushed. "You good?"
I nod, too quickly. "Yeah. Just tired."
She doesn't push, just shoots me a look that says she doesn't believe me but will wait. That's the thing about her—she always waits. By the time lunch rolls around, I already know I'm not going. I shove my bento back into my bag and make a beeline for the music room instead. It's usually empty during this time, the piano tucked in the corner and sunlight pouring in through the tall windows. Peaceful. Quiet.
I slide into the back row and pull out my sketchbook, pretending to doodle while my thoughts swirl. Somewhere down the hall, I hear laughter—the kind that belongs to Jeonghan and Dokyeom, probably arguing about who forgot to grab snacks for the table. I imagine Jihoon rolling his eyes. I imagine Seungcheol sitting there too, pretending not to notice I'm missing.
But I hope he does. Because maybe if he notices I'm gone, he'll realize how much he made me feel like I wasn't worth staying for. And maybe, just maybe... he'll finally do something about it.
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#seventeen#choi seungcheol#dokyeom#vernon chwe#jeonghan#seungcheol x reader#mingyu#seventeen seungcheol#seventeen fanfic#wonwoo#kwon soonyoung#seungkwan#svt dino#woozi#svt joshua#svt jun#xu minghao#cheollollipop#seventeen fic#seventeen scoups
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On the topic of songs as the Gravity Falls characters, I'm your man by mitski and you'll be back from Alexander Hamilton the musical is SO Bill coded, omfg
Thanks for coming to my discussion great fanfiction might cry
I’m Your Man by Mitski is SUCH a beautiful piece. I’m a big fan of her’s and this song feels essentially like Bill at his most self-loathing/pitying. It feels like a moment when he gets a pinch of self awareness and shows away from it. Especially with lines like “you believe me like a god, I’ll destroy you like I am” and “When you leave me I should die. I deserve it, don’t I?”.
You’ll Be Back is just hilarious. I love how poncy and irreverent it is. It would be just like Bill to fluff off the very real threat Ford could pose and how serious he is about cutting Bill off while assuming everything will work out and that he could bring Ford around. 🙄😂
I also invite you to consider Star by Mitski as a Billford song. Whenever I hear it, I always think of Ford in the wake of Bill’s death either burning everything or visiting his statue and wrestling with his complicated emotions over their relationship and its end. “That love is like a star. It’s gone we just see it shining.” “Keep a leftover light burning so you can keep looking up. Isn’t that worth holding on?” Ahhh I have too many emotions about this song 😖☺️
Glad you like the fanfic! Tbh you’ll probably cry a couple more times before it’s done 👀
#gravity falls#book of bill#bill cipher#stanford pines#billford#a human condition ao3#anon ask#answered asks
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𝐄𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐞 𝐈𝐬 𝐀 𝐓𝐚𝐝 𝐒𝐮𝐛𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐯𝐞 (2)
nsfw ver
sfw ver here !

pairing: eddie munson x fem! reader
reader is poc and plus size coded!!!
reblogs are appreciated!!!
type: smutish
• Submissive!Eddie who is always so so needy. Having missed out on much action his entire highschool career due to being the freak, a drug dealer, and then eventually just too old for anyone there left him such a desperate mess.
•Submissive!Eddie who borderline worships the ground you walk on because you were the first person to give him a chance, and you were his first of many other things.
• Submissive!Eddie who feels as though he should be dominate, but he just enjoys the pleasure of you taking care of him so much more.
• Submissive!Eddie who let’s you take the lead with kisses. He waits for your tongue to swipe his bottom lip so that you could lick and nip into his awaiting mouth.
• Submissive!Eddie who can actually never seem to shut up unless you’re dominating him.
•Submissive!Eddie who absolutely loves blowjobs from you. He just loves to look at your pretty face! He makes the cutest noises: little whimpers, grunts, and moans. He loves how you pull off just as he is about to cum, you let it splatter onto his own stomach, chest, or even his face. It makes him feel so slutty.
• Submissive!Eddie who loves eating you out even more. He loves being smothered between your insanely thick thighs, and the excessive heat makes him delirious. He loves when you instinctively tug on his long, shaggy hair and either push him further into your heat or pull him away from it when you’re in the mood to edge yourself and make him especially desperate.
• Submissive!Eddie who begs for it. Begs you to “Please, please” let him dive back into you.
• Submissive!Eddie who loves praise in and out of bed, but in bed it could get him to finish 2x faster! He’s been ridiculed and beaten down by words all his life. He just loves how sweet you are to him.
• Submissive!Eddie who loves to hear how good he is doing.
• Submissive!Eddie who loves when you claim him. “Doin’ so good, Ed. My good boy.” and “All this for me, Eddie?”
•Submissive!Eddie who actually feels as if he can’t get enough of you! He begged you to ride him for the first time, and once you finally did agree, he couldn’t help but stare up at you as if you hung the sun and the stars.
•Submissive!Eddie who is probably into pegging.
Don’t know how I feel about writing smut tbh. I’m going to do another sfw part to this though. Writing smut just isn’t my cup of tea rn.
#plus size reader#eddie munson#fem dom reader#eddie munson fanfic#fanfiction#stranger things#bipocreader#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x female reader#eddie stranger things#sub eddie munson#fem reader
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Idk why but Sparkbreak ( 500 ) from the Roleswap seems like the type of " player " that resets a bunch of times for the " best outcome " or will reset if their favorite character/cat dies in a patrol or moon skip.
That probably sounds insane so let me explain. Moth ( 404 ) seems to have the type of playstyle of someone who's trying to tell a story/stick to a certain rule list like for challenges. Ik it's all to make cat's suffer but she's very methodical ( like cm only players interested in story lore would headcannon their rng kitty to have psychology broken at the sight of their God and then moon reset until they get the Kill Yourself prompt (( now that I say that that sounds like shade at you I promise it's not )) )
But Spark ( 500 ) would have the playstyle of getting to attached to every cat within the small clan and not wanting anything to happen to them, so I see him resetting moons that have death in them, resetting when a patrol outcome results in injury/death, and other odd things ( like if the clans prey stores are low just coding in more or even turning it completely off ).
But tbh thinking about it this way, I'd hate ro like in a 500 world. Could you imagine watching a friend/sibling/parent/partner die right in front of you? Then in an instant your back in your nest at the start of the day and they come in the den bringing you food like always. You never starve because the pile is always full, but you take note that it's always full, and that even if every cat was hunting at all times, they still couldn't catch that much. You feel like you should've been dead a long time ago. You're an elder that's surpassed life expectancy, you're suffering but something won't let you die. You're his daughter, he'd never hurt you, but in helping you he is.
Sorry for the ramble I'm mentally ill
I liked reading this! And this is an interesting idea for reverse Spark/500 in the sense that he’s the opposite of 404. Maybe instead of becoming hateful of everyone and himself he sees it as an opportunity to protect everyone he loves from what horrors he’s witnessed, and not 404’s differing mindset of wanting to break others down because of the mentioned horrors.
This has its drawbacks of course—the cats in the clan, the favored ones at least, will basically be invincible to any obstacle. They’re healthy and well fed. They will have no memory of dying or being in pain because 500 made sure they could never die. Imagine if they saw someone they loved die, and in the next moon, they’re suddenly conversing with you like it never happened. Everything is perfect, but too perfect, in an uncanny and fake way. Maybe your inferior mind can’t pinpoint exactly what’s wrong with your life, but something is definitely not right.
What if 500 picks favorites like the ‘favoriting’ system the actual game has? What does he do with the cats he doesn’t like? Would Out Of Bounds be turned into a prison for those cats if they end up dead? Would he cause their deaths to stay out of their ‘perfect clan’? How would 500 deem which cat is more favorable? He’s extremely protective to who he loves… and that’s his biggest flaw. Everyone else will languish, because to him, that’s the way it should be for them.
Or think of this! If he really wants to… he could alter a cat completely. New personality, appearance, quirks, a completely different cat, and everything would change to fit his view so that you’re the ‘ideal version’. One moment, you’re yourself. Next moment, you’re unrecognizable to yourself. Good for him, probably good for others, but for you? You would never know.
So what we’re getting at is; 404 and 500’s way of managing the game is just another example of dystopias and utopias… Neither are favorable but that’s what’s fun! Two sides of the same coin, meddling with something that they shouldn’t in order to benefit themselves… I think they’d fit this song really well actually.

I did base his design off of AM! Since it’s something I didn’t really do for 404 and I still want him to be based off of the same things that inspired 404, but just enough so that he’s his own thing. His original sketch had him look way more similar to him, but I went for a more cat-like look instead
#vspc asks#au stuff#NO idea why I went hard with his design I adore it so much#I also accidentally cropped out schwip’s beautiful beverage pfp so sorry dude
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Starlit bonds
A/n: hello I’m sorry I’m late with this chapter I’m gonna post chapter 3 also soon. Tbh I’ve been writing this on my own time and reading it myself 😂 I’ve been lazy but thanks for the patience. Also to refrain from saying in-game chara a lot when sylus is moving and speaking it’s the chara unless I say otherwise.
CH.2 – First Impressions
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☆ Content: interactive romance, sci-fi setting, shy!love interest (Y/N), slow burn, reverse-harem, eventually smut maybe, Black MC coded but anyone can read, Black Mirror-ish, ocs also in the chap u can imagine what u want them to look like though
Characters: Sylus, Kaela, Reyna, Nova, Y/N, and the crew.
📌 Synopsis:
A new captain, a new crew, and a ship that runs on more than just fuel—it runs on trust. Sylus might have thought stepping aboard was the hard part, but fitting in? That’s an entirely different challenge.
Sylus pressed the choice.
“Bold move? Should I be worried about hazing rituals?”
The first woman let out a short laugh, shaking her head as she lifted her mug to her lips. “Oh, you’re sharp. I like that.” She took a sip before setting it down again. “Don’t worry, Captain. We’re not that cruel. Well, most of us.”
The second woman, the one with the glasses, simply raised an eyebrow. “Hazing? Hardly. But fitting into a crew like ours… that’s another matter entirely.”
The third woman, who had yet to speak, finally leaned forward, her elbows resting on her knees as she regarded him with cool amusement. “Hazing rituals are for rookies,” she said, tilting her head. “We just watch and see if you can handle yourself.”
Y/N shifted uncomfortably beside him. “Um… we should probably start with introductions,” they interjected, their voice quieter than the others.
As soon as Sylus seen the girls, the screen in front of him flickered, and a sleek HUD overlay materialized—an “Introduction Protocol” prompt activating automatically. Each crew member’s name, role, and specialty appeared in glowing text beside their image, a faint pulse marking their presence in real time. A small “Crew Compatibility Rating” hovered at the bottom—currently unavailable.
[Press to Continue] he pressed.
Meet the Crew
☄️Kaela – Ship’s engineer, weapons specialist, and general problem solver. “If something’s broken, I fix it. If something—or someone—needs taking care of, I handle that too.”
📍 Reyna – Navigator and tactical analyst. “If you want to know where we’re going or how to get there in one piece, I’m the one to ask.”
🛸 Nova – Pilot. “Don’t get in my way, and we won’t have a problem.”
📡 Y/N – Communications and research specialist. “Data analysis, language interpretation, signal tracking… um, things like that.”
Sylus noted the stark differences between them—Kaela’s confident, teasing demeanor, Reyna’s composed and methodical approach, and Nova’s no-nonsense attitude. It was a dynamic crew, and it was already clear that they weren’t the type to follow just anyone.
His eyes flicked back to Y/N on the screen, you stood slightly apart from the group, hands clasped in front of yourself. You hesitated for a moment before speaking.
“I… I handle communications and research,” they said softly, almost like they weren’t sure their role was as important as the others. “Data analysis, language interpretation, signal tracking… um, things like that.”
Kaela shot you a grin. “And she makes a mean cup of tea.”
Y/N’s face turned a shade darker, and they ducked their head slightly. “I just… like to be useful.”
Sylus couldn’t help but find the contrast between them and the others fascinating. Where they were bold and direct, Y/N was quiet, reserved—yet there was an undeniable sincerity to them.
Dialogue Choice Appeared:
🔹 1. “Sounds like an impressive crew. I’m lucky to have you all.” (Leader-like response)
🔹 2. “I get the feeling I’m going to have my hands full with you guys.” (Playful response)
🔹 3. “I’ll do my best to keep up—just try not to leave me in the dust.” (Confident response)
Sylus hovered over the options, his mind already racing with possibilities.
Sylus pressed.
“I get the feeling I’m going to have my hands full with you guys.”
Kaela grinned, leaning back against the counter with an easy confidence. “Oh, you have no idea, Captain.” She lifted her mug in a mock toast before taking another sip. “But hey, at least you catch on quick.”
Reyna smirked slightly but said nothing, merely observing him as if making her own silent assessments. Nova, on the other hand, gave a quiet scoff, arms still crossed. “As long as you can keep up, we won’t have a problem.”
Sylus raised his eyebrow, he really wished he could respond on his own, he looks back at his screen, the camera then pans to a small shift in movement beside his in-game avatar.
Y/n fidgeted slightly, her fingers curling at the hem of her sleeve again. She wasn’t laughing or teasing him like the others—if anything, she looked like she wanted to disappear into the floor.
“I-I think you’ll do fine,” she murmured, glancing up at him briefly before quickly averting her gaze.
Sylus felt an odd twinge in his stomach at the way she said it—like she truly meant it but wasn’t used to speaking her thoughts aloud. The others may have been testing him in their own ways, but…it felt like you was rooting for him.
He sighs, what am I even feeling right now he thinks. it must be all the coffee I drunk earlier coming back to me yeah…must be that…
Before he could dwell on it more a chime rang out from his device. The ship ai had interrupted.
“Captain, your presence is required at the Command Center for further mission briefing.”
Reyna shut her tablet with a quiet snap. “That’s your cue.”
Kaela stretched, rolling her shoulders. “Looks like playtime’s over.”
Nova was already pushing herself off the couch. “Let’s see if our new Captain can handle the pressure.”
Y/n hesitated before taking a small step toward the door. “I’ll… I’ll show you the way.”
Sylus in-game character nodded, following as she led him out of the common area and down another long corridor. The others trailed behind them, their presence a silent reminder that his thoughts about just being a casual player was dwindling by the second.
As they walked, a notification popped up in the corner of Sylus’ device.
[New Tutorial Unlocked: Crew Bonding Mini-Games]
Objective: Engage with crew members in interactive scenarios to build rapport and unlock unique character moments.
Below the prompt, a smaller window displayed an alert:
[Mini-Game: Synchronization Test – Assist y/n]
A brief description followed: Help y/n calibrate the ship’s internal communication relay. Improve synchronization for better teamwork!
Sylus blinked as a glowing waypoint appeared just ahead of them, leading to a small control panel embedded in the wall. Y/n noticed it too, her eyes widening slightly.
“Oh… this relay needs recalibrating,” she murmured, half to herself. She hesitated before looking up at Sylus. “Would you, um… mind helping me? It won’t take long.”
A mini-game interface overlaid the screen, displaying a series of circular nodes connected by shifting energy lines. A small tutorial prompt explained the mechanics:
[Tap the nodes in the correct order to match the synchronization sequence. Time your inputs carefully for a higher accuracy rating.]
Sylus smirked, cracking his knuckles getting ready for this mini game. Alright, let’s see what this game’s got.
He began the mini-game. The nodes pulsed in a rhythmic sequence, and he had to tap them in order, matching the glowing pattern as it flickered across the screen. The first few were easy, but soon the pulses sped up, testing his reaction time.
Y/n voice cut through the game interface. “Oh! That was close—try again!” As if taunting him to try harder, he rolls his eyes continuing.
Sylus barely caught the mistake in time, adjusting his timing just as the final sequence locked in. The screen flashed SUCCESS! in bright letters, and a soft chime signaled completion.
[Mini-Game Complete! Crew Bonding +5 | y/n Affinity Increased]
Y/n let out a small breath of relief, a tiny smile forming as she glanced at him. “You’re… really good at that. Thank you.”
Sylus in-game character talks. “Told you I had this under control.”
Her expression softened for a moment, and for the first time, she met his gaze fully.
Then, another notification popped up.
[New Mini-Game Unlocked: Combat Training – Spar with Nova]
From behind them, Nova’s voice cut through the moment. “Alright, Captain. Time to see if you can actually fight.”
Sylus sighed, rolling his shoulders. “No rest for the wicked, huh?”
He didn’t think he would actually be excited to explore this game even more. If Luke and Kieran ever found out he would have to kill them. He laughs a little to himself going back to the game.
As soon as Sylus tapped the screen, the game transitioned seamlessly into Combat Training Mode. His phone vibrated lightly in his hands, and a sleek UI overlay appeared, displaying his health bar, a stamina meter, and a set of virtual buttons for dodging, attacking, and countering. They were just fighting with bare hands for now.
A tutorial prompt popped up at the top of the screen:
[Combat Mini-Game: Spar with Nova]
Swipe to dodge | Tap to attack | Hold to block
Nova cracked her knuckles on-screen, shifting into a ready stance. A countdown appeared.
3… 2… 1… BEGIN!
The moment the match started, Nova lunged forward. Sylus instinctively swiped left, making his in-game avatar dodge just in time. His phone buzzed slightly with the motion, adding to the immersion.
“Not bad,” Nova commented, smirking. “But let’s see if you can keep up.”
She struck again, this time faster. Sylus tapped quickly to block, but Nova’s next attack broke through his defense. His screen flashed -5 HP, and a sharp vibration signaled the hit.
Okay, this is more intense than he expected.
He adjusted his grip on his phone and tapped to counterattack, landing a quick strike. Nova’s health bar dipped slightly, and she let out a small grunt.
“Finally fighting back? Good.”
The game picked up in pace, forcing Sylus to react faster. Nova was relentless, weaving in feints and sudden bursts of speed that made dodging tricky. His thumb flicked across the screen, narrowly avoiding a heavy strike that could’ve ended the match.
Then, a notification popped up:
N Strike – Tap when prompted to execute a perfect counter.]
Right on cue, Nova went for a strong attack. A glowing circle appeared on the screen with a quick-time prompt: TAP NOW!
Sylus reacted instantly, his thumb slamming the screen. His avatar ducked low before delivering a precise counterstrike, sending Nova stumbling back.
KO!
The screen flashed VICTORY, and a new notification appeared:
[Mini-Game Complete! Combat Skill +5 | Nova Affinity Increased]
Nova dusted herself off, rolling her shoulders as she studied him with newfound respect. “You’re not bad, Captain. Maybe this won’t be so boring after all.”
Sylus exhaled, shaking out his hands. He hadn’t expected a mobile game to get his adrenaline going like that.
Y/n, who had been watching quietly from the sidelines, looked both impressed and relieved. “That was… really good.”
A new dialogue choice appeared:
1. “That was intense. Think I earned my place here?” [Confident response]
2. “You weren’t holding back, were you?” [Playful response]
3. “I got lucky. Next time, you’ll probably destroy me.” [Humble response]
Sylus hovered over the options, a smirk tugging at his lips.
This game was way more immersive than he had expected.
With a smirk, Sylus tapped the second option.
“You weren’t holding back, were you?”
Nova raised an eyebrow, crossing her arms. “Would you rather I did?” she shot back, her tone edged with amusement.
Sylus’ phone vibrated as a new prompt popped up:
[Nova Affinity +2 | She respects your confidence.]
He grinned to himself. Nice.
Kaela, who had been lounging nearby, chuckled. “I’d say she went easy on you, Captain. But if you’re happy with a small win, who am I to ruin your moment?”
Sylus exhaled a laugh, rolling his shoulders as if shaking off the tension from the fight. “A win is a win, Kaela.”
[New Objective: Continue the Ship Tutorials]
Y/n, still standing a little apart from the others, cleared her throat softly. “Um… should we move on? There’s still a lot of the ship to see.”
Her quiet voice was enough to shift the energy in the room. The crew members exchanged glances before stepping aside to let her take the lead again.
As Sylus followed y/n down another hallway, his phone buzzed again, displaying another mini-game notification:
[New Mini-Game Unlocked: Engineering Puzzle – Assist Kaela]
He sighed, shaking his head with a grin. This game was seriously going all out with immersion.
He moved the screen around changing the perspective. Moving the camera to y/n, he noticed how she kept stealing quick glances at him, as if debating whether to say something. Maybe it was just her shy nature, or maybe…
Sylus smirked.
This game wasn’t just about romance or adventure—it was about connection. And the more he played, the more he realized he wasn’t just here to pass the time.
Ok he was hooked.
A/n: ok I’m gonna stop right here I’m not sure if this is long I think it’s long enough… Also I’m not sure if u guys want all the extra game stuff in the story with the other girls but I won’t make it too much I think. Anyways if u wanna be tagged then comment. Also could use some mc pics for my chapters so feel free to message me if u want.
Tags:
@kaylauvu
@codedove
@crazy-ink-artist
#sylus x y/n#sylus x you#sylus fic#sylus x reader#sylus x mc#lnds sylus#love and deepspace sylus#lads sylus
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S18e2 episode reactions!!
Spoilers…obviously
Okay so I already have a lot of thoughts going into this episode… because even though i swore to no spoilers I accidentally opened social media and saw a post…about what happens - and let me tell you, my heart dropped
I’m really not happy with this, but i hope they have a good story reason for this, he deserved better and i love him
I feel a little bummed going into this tbh
Okay but of course I’m still excited because beyond everything, i love this show
Ahh this is going to be JJ coded isn’t it
Okay this episode is going to be a big one
Omg they are giving us all this happy and domestic Tebecca to drown us with sadness later :((((((
They’re so adorable, fuck it, i can’t not like Rebecca anymore (didn’t trust her in s16)
Oh this is it
Ooh it took me 5 business days to realise they were ft’ing
I’m trying so hard to focus but i can’t think but about ‘IT’, what happens this episode
But voit first
OOOH sexy brooding Luke yes please
Ah come on, old story, bad guy is innocent when he wakes up from coma thing, feels a little overplayed, but if I know CME, this is going to be flipped on its head to shock us later
DR. OCHOA - THIS IS THE NEW GUEST STAR! Hello ma’am
DAD??????
I called it, little Elias sees Rossi as his dad
WAIT - is this why they need Spencer? Is this going to be a way to introduce him back? To help with Voit? Besides of course … what’s coming
AWW GREENVEZ (i love the Luke and Tyler’s bromance)
Oh god they paired Luke and Tara up so Luke and the doctor could have scenes right? Oh god, please let us have garvez at LEAST
This kind of interview is Tara’s wheelhouse right? I missed these scenes where you saw her academic prowess
Was that a sneaky smile, Elias? grr, i can’t trust you
Show him lee duval - that’s his real name, that’s what’s going to trigger something
He doesn’t remember stuff from Sicarius and post, he probably only remembers things from before he became Elias — that’s why he’s calling Papa Pasta “dad”
SECOND STREET??
Lukeyy you okay?
Angry Luke is hot
Look i don’t mind Tyler and Penelope scenes as long as we keep this platonic, friends
Penelope’s outfit is so cute
Is she the actor from ‘Cruel Summer’?
Yes! I just checked - she is
“Shitload of science” lol I love Emily
Dave after how many 1000 years of profiling do you not know that you should not promise anything?? LOOK AT JJ’S FACE SHE AGREES WITH ME
Um what is happening???
Oh, heck this is a scary as fuck episode
Dang, in the age of technology
“Little help”, meaning Elias???
How does Penelope find this?
Oh - okay, thank you Tyler
Oh god this is a jj season for sure
Woah — em looks so good! That blouse is so cute on her!
Did the hospital only give Elias….one pair of pajamas/sweatpants?
Elias is smarter than ANYONE gives him credit for - DEFINITELY knows what he’s doing
Go you ty ty, go you!! Contribute to that profile
Aww he’s kinda adorable asking questions
OOH they’re doing a likert but in person
This is so interesting
“Not anymore” well damn
they’re letting ty ty go own his own??
Oh frick there’s no way he’s going to be able to do this, he’s so new
Okay I’m scared so scared, it’s getting to the end of episode and the news is coming I’m scared
I kinda hope they do this without audio it’ll be more powerful
Oh god come on Penny, Luke and you are forever please
Aw she’s at least a good friend i can read that as platonic
OH fuck this is it
I’m so scared
Fuck fuck fuck
Oh that’s something else bad about JJ fuck
Oh okay thank god
Oh god no this is it
WILL?? They brought josh just back for this one moment to do this to him?
My babe im so scared
I’m so scared
FUCK WILL
WHY DID THEY DO THIS FUCK FUCK FUCK
I CAN’T EVEN FOCUS ON THIS TEBECCA SCENE I KNOW WHAT’S COMING AND I’M SO DAMN SAD
There are too many emotional things happening right now and I’m so overwhelmed
Yay garvez in the same scene together - and yes, literal crumbs and i can’t even focus on it
I CANNOT FUCKING BELIEVE THEY DID THIS
AND LEFT US LIKE THIS I’m CRYING IN THE CLUB
😥😥😥😥😥😥😥😥😥
Poor JJ. Poor Henry. Poor Michael.
Poor me.
I honestly have to process this a little more and I’m going to come back with a longer thought out reaction this weekend
Until next time, friends.
RIP William LaMontange Jr. I love you, bud.
#criminal minds#criminal minds evolution#garvez#luke alvez#jennifer jareau#tyler green#garvez fanfiction#emily prentiss#david rossi#penelope garcia#tara lewis#tebecca#spencer reid#greenvez#william lamontagne jr#elias voit
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