#side note i love iu's through the night so much

[katnisspeetaprim]

D-Day Japan Night 1 (Always, Us)

Min Yoongi/FemIdol!Reader Part 1 Here

Summary: You are finally able to join Yoongi on stage for his solo tour in Japan... Based partly on this request, but also part 2 of the Suchwita couple! There may be more parts to come to this, depending on how much you guys like this!

Warnings: Established relationship, fem!reader, idol!au, pregnancy, mentions of sex, mentions of marriage, happy tears.

Word Count: 1536 M.list

It had been a few months since the episode of Suchwita that got a little too personal. You and Yoongi had yet to have an official wedding ceremony for your family, but in all fairness, he had since started his first solo tour.

Yoongi had wanted you to join him from the start of his tour in the US, so that you could accompany him on stage for certain songs, but unfortunately that wasn’t possible.

You had schedules with your own group to fulfil, and when those were finally over you fell ill, so the earliest you were able to join Yoongi on stage was for his first show in Japan.

‘Now I’m very excited for this next song.’ Yoongi moved back to centre stage, sipping from his straw as he did so. ‘I have a special guest. Please welcome my beautiful wife, Y/N!’ He gestured to the back of the stage as you ran up the stairs. The crowd screamed loudly as you appeared, showering you with love and support. You jogged up to Yoongi and gave him a quick side hug, before taking your place at the second microphone.

‘Hello everyone!’ You greeted with a big wave. ‘Thank you for having me! I’m excited to be here!’

‘Y/N hasn’t been feeling well lately, so please show her lots of love.’ Yoongi announced, causing the crowd to gasp out and call your name.

‘Until she’s 100% better, she’s only going to perform one song. I hope that’s ok.’

Performing People pt.2 with Yoongi was a dream come true. Despite both being active idols for over a decade now, you’d never actually had the opportunity to perform together. You knew you had big shoes to fill by singing IU’s part, but the crowd seemed to be having a good time, and that’s all that mattered.  Yoongi was also being extremely protective, with only letting you perform one song. In truth you felt fine, just a bit of sickness here and there. But then again, maybe his worry wasn’t all unfounded...

When the last notes of the song rang out, the arena went wild. You once again hugged Yoongi, but also kissed him too, making the crowd go even crazier than before.

‘Ok that’s enough PDA.’ He spoke into the mic.

‘Thank you for having me tonight. I hope to see you again tomorrow!’ With that, you gave a bow and made your way off stage, so as not to hold up the show too much.

‘Y/N everybody!’

You’d met Yoongi in the car taking you back to the hotel, not wanting to be hanging round the arena for ages after the show. You knew what he was like sometimes.

‘Hey.’ You smiled and reached out for him as soon as he opened the door. He leaned in and kissed you with a smile.

‘Why didn’t you wait for me?’ He looked at you questioningly as the car pulled away.

‘Just eager to get back is all.’ Yoongi gave you a look, but just settled for taking your hand and pulling out his phone, so he could look up peoples thoughts about the show online.

‘This is just gonna be a quick live whilst we eat.’ Yoongi spoke to the camera as he arranged the food on plates for himself and you. He had taken to doing lives after his shows recently so he cold engage with his fans a little more, even if it was only whilst he ate.

‘Yes Y/N is still here. She’s just getting dressed.’ The chat started to move faster, really jumping on the implications of what he had just said. Yoongi was puzzled for a moment, before he started laughing, realising his mistake.

‘Please get your minds out of the gutter! She was in the shower.’

‘You’ve been live for two seconds and you’re already corrupting people.’ You joked, pushing open the bathroom door. You could hear him speaking through the wall as you freshened up.

‘It’s not my fault that’s how ARMY’s minds work!’

‘Bye guys, bye!’ You blew a kiss to the camera as Yoongi switched it off.

‘Ah, what a night.’ Yoongi stretched out as he tossed the garbage to the side.

‘I hope that’s a good sigh mister.’ You crawled over to your husband and straddled his lap on the small armchair.

‘Definitely.’ His hands came to rest on your bum, squeezing playfully.

‘Excuse you, that’s rude!’ You laughed. Leaning down and kissing him deeply. Yoongi moaned into the kiss and slid his hands under your shirt, squeezing your breasts. You broke away to lift your shirt over your head and quickly re connected your lips. He groaned as you rubbed against his growing bulge. Yoongi ran his hand across your body and round your back, about to unhook your bra, when suddenly there was a pounding at the door.

You quickly jumped away from him and ran into the bathroom to fix yourself, in case whoever was at the door needed to come inside. As you retreated, you heard Yoongi curse as he adjusted himself in his pants, before getting up to probably murder whoever was at the door.

A few minutes later, you re emerged from the bathroom fully dresses, just as Yoongi closed the main door.

‘Who was it?’

‘Just a staff member wanting to give me the schedule for tomorrow.’ He stalked back over to you and roughly grabbed you by the waist, causing you to gasp out and giggle. ‘Now where were we?’ He smirked against your skin.

You and Yoongi lay side by side, naked and tangled in the sheets. The room was dark around you, though neither of you were asleep. Just enjoying each others company.

Yoongi lay on his back, arm under your neck and fingers softly stroking your shoulder, as you lay on your side, hand resting on his chest.

You have to tell him. You thought to yourself. There’s no point waiting any longer and now’s a good a time as any.

‘Yoongi...’ Your voice was hoarse as you spoke, a reminder of your recent activities. ‘I need to tell you something.’ He just hummed in response. Taking a deep breath, you just blurted it out.

‘I’m pregnant.’ His fingers stilled on your shoulder. He was silent, almost as if he were processing your words, when he suddenly sat up, forcing you to do the same.

‘Are you serious.?’ He stared at you, mouth agape.

‘Of course I’m serious.’ You looked down, smiling as you pushed your hair behind your ears. ‘I know we didn’t really talk about it after Suchwita, but we haven’t really been careful, so maybe it was meant to be.’ Before you even finished speaking, his arms were flung round you and he was kissing the top of your head.

‘I can’t believe it! I’m gonna be a dad!’ He cried out, joyful tears already falling from his eyes.

‘And I’m gonna be a mom!’

‘Wait.’ He pulled back so he could see your face. ‘ does this have anything to do with you being sick recently?’ You laughed and gently wiped away his tears and playing with the ends of his hair.

‘Yes dummy. Morning sickness. I’m surprised you didn’t put two and two together.’ He smiled brightly and leaned in to kiss you. He suddenly pulled away and jumped out of bed, flicking the light on as he went.

You groaned out and covered your eyes at the sudden bright light. When you opened them, you were met with Yoongi pacing back and forth along the room, still with a wide smile plastered across his face.

‘What are you doing you doofus?’ You laughed at his antics.

‘I feel like I have a lot of energy to burn off suddenly!’ You threw your head back against the pillows and let out a hearty laugh.

‘Come back to bed, it’s like 2AM!’

‘You think I’m going to be able to sleep after getting the best news of my life!?’ He exclaimed, exasperated but still joined you back in bed none the less.

‘You need to be rested for the concert tomorrow.’ You snuggled back up to his side.

‘Will you still be able to perform with me tomorrow?’

‘I’m not made of glass Yoongi. I was pregnant when performing tonight you know.’ You chuckled lightly.

Just as you were about to fall asleep, you were jostled awake by Yoongi reaching for his phone and shooting off a quick text, before disregarding it back on the side table.

‘What was that?’ You asked sleepily.

‘I text the BTS group chat and told them you’re pregnant.’ He said nonchalantly.

Your eyes snapped open and you shot up with a start.

‘You told your members I’m pregnant through text!?’ You couldn’t believe what you were hearing right now.

‘It’s easier this way.’ You stared down at your husband in disbelief. This man was going to be the death of you....

One the side table, Yoongi’s phone was already vibrating none stop. Instead of answering, he just reached over and put it on silent, before dragging you back down to cuddle.

He causes chaos and then just ignores it, naturally.  

[iuteamstarcandy]

[INTERVIEW] 230922 IU in Elle Korea Oct Issue (Part 1 of 2)

Q : You are full of good news for your upcoming 15th debut anniversary which will take place on September 18. Starting from the media art exhibition, you also had your “IU Concert: The Golden Hour” film premiere and now the fan concert which will be held for 2 days at KSPO Dome.

I have been really busy. Since there is not even a day for me to rest in September, I have been wondering whether I will be able to prepare the fan concert well or if I should delay the fan concert, but in the end, it will be the most fun if we celebrate the debut anniversary during the debut anniversary. It is a little bit too much, but I am doing my best to prepare for it.

Q : I think the meeting between Elle and IU which takes place today can also be a present for people who love you.

That’s true. Especially since I can show my new side whenever I have a photoshoot with Gucci. I hope that throughout September my fans will find it as a gift.

Q : You uploaded on your SNS, “Fan Concert? Although it’s my first time (doing this), I have a feeling that this is my expertise”. After preparing for it, do you think so?

Because of my “You Have Done Well” filming, I have to go back and forth between Andong, Jeju and Yeoncheon. Whenever I get to Seoul, I practise for the choreography and the ensemble, and it is really tiring? But when the practice session started, it became like a festival (laughs). We picked less popular songs that we ourselves like, boldly rearranged those songs that seemed like fans would probably have listened to a lot before and it is has been really fun while preparing for the fan concert.

Q : The fan concert was sold out during the pre-sale for fanclub members. You are an artist who is ahead of taking countermeasures to prevent organized ticket reselling or scalpers from reselling tickets for a premium. Is it a characteristic of yours that you need to solve a problem whenever it happens?

Although it will not be eradicated just because I step forward on this issue, I still think it's important to show my willingness to do something about it. As a result, we worked together with other companies to come up with some good ideas to deal with this.

(TL note: If you report a scalper and Edam Ent investigates and finds evidence that the person is indeed reselling the ticket, then Edam Ent will give you the ticket instead as a prize. If you already have a ticket to IU’s concert, then you receive an unreleased IU photocard instead as a prize.)

Q : During the media exhibition “Moment,” last summer, which was held to celebrate your 15th debut anniversary, you released a little bit of the guide recording version of your popular songs, like “Through The Night” and “Palette”. Is there any reason for that?

If I am able to record the guide version, I will usually record it by myself. Through this process, I have great affection for the song, because you can improve your song interpretation skills or your knowledge about music. After all, music is about discovering really good moments even if they are raw and sloppy. I thought it would be nice to show the guide recordings which I have collected and listened to by myself all this time, so I picked a few of them. I also thought it would be nice if I let people listen to just a teeny bit of the song that I prepared for my new album, so I also revealed the unreleased song. I am proud of the fact that everyone got really excited about it.

Q : You also created “Uaena’s Room” for the exhibition while thinking about your fans. To IU, what kind of a person is Uaena?

I have shown everyone a few times my ‘storage place’ where I collected all the items that I cherish. I re-created the storage place at the exhibition and then made “Uaena’s Room” which looks like a mirror image of it, as if this is a décalcomanie. It started with the idea that I think Uaena are people who are very similar to me. I don’t know what kind of life each Uaena has, but I feel that I know the attitude and focus that a person has when you like someone and how soft your heart becomes in that moment.

Q: It’s already been 2 years since you released <Pieces> at the end of your 20s. In the album introduction, you wrote ‘the pieces in between my 20s that I didn’t bother to take out’ and included 5 songs right? Which piece do you think is the odd one out?

Even when I was recording “Drama” which I wrote when I was 20, I worked on it while thinking, “Ah, I can’t make my voice sound like this anymore. If I do it now, it seems like I’m just pretending.” Yet, on the other hand, I’m not someone who changes much as a person. I also feel that the parts of me that are immature and lacking will not dramatically become more impressive (laughs).

Q: Do you feel pressured about releasing your new album?

During the course of preparing for this album, there was a point when I did a 180 degree u-turn. Having released albums one after another without any hiatus so far, this time I have not released my own album for about 2 years, so I think during this period of time, the direction of my thoughts has changed a lot. Now that my songs are taking shape one by one, I think 2 years passed by rather slowly (TL note: meaning 2 years has been a long time). I feel like I’m rich because I like how the songs turned out. I’m talking about my ambition here. I think this is a good time for me to say such things.

Q: You’re the idol of idols too. There are many KPOP artists who covered your songs, bought your merchandise and shared their concert reviews with their fans. Why do you think you have received so much love?

Staying faithful to music is something that I take pride in. I think it could be the closeness and happiness they feel towards someone they have been watching for a long time. As someone in the same industry, perhaps it’s the feeling of wanting to cheer on a senior who has been doing this for a long time. I’ll do my best to repay them with my gratitude when the moment comes.

Translated by IUteamstarcandy

Magazine source: JongHeon_IU0516

[niel-trbl]

Future

Best friends to Lovers!Kang Daniel AU

Note: for the times where you experienced 썸 (some) with your good/best friend and wished that when you do convey your feelings it would somewhat end up this way

“_______, are you done? we’re going to be late,” Daniel stood by the door, watching you putting on makeup

“hold on, i’m almost done! okay which one?” you held 2 lipsticks

“you know i like the red one on you” you smirked at his comment and proceeded to put on the wine red lipstick

“i don’t get why you’re putting on so much makeup. who are you trying to impress?” he gazed at you

“um my future partner? what if i meet him by chance at the wedding?”

“and you’re going to leave your best friend behind?” he pouted

“well…”

“omg you’re really considering it?! i’m leaving” you quickly held his arm, preventing him from leaving

“i’m kidding! c’mon Niel, how can i leave my dearest best friend?” you teased him, pinching his cheeks i wna do that tbh

this would be a good example of your everyday conversation with your best friend, Kang Daniel

you and Daniel have been friends since elementary school

how you first became friends was definitely interesting (?)

your class had to run rounds around school for gym

it was only your second round and you already felt tired so you decided to escape from running

as you were finding a hiding spot, you saw Daniel crouching down and playing with a cat

he got shocked when he saw you behind him

“don’t rat me out please!” he begged you

you then learnt that he too was trying to escape from running rounds that day

that was how you became close friends

both of you grew up together and been there for each other through every milestone, relationship, break up, etc. in life

basically you spent most of your time together, except for when he left for Canada (?) for a few years

it was truly the hardest time in your whole friendship and when he came back, both of you promised to never leave one another

your friend from high school, Doyeon, had invited you to her wedding so you decided to attend it with Daniel since both of you had no one to bring as your plus ones

daniel in a SUIT swoon

you finally arrived at the wedding venue, just in time for the couple to exchange their vows

“I see these vows not as promises but as privileges - I get to laugh with you, cry with you, care for you and share with you. I am blessed to not only be able to share, but to have you be a part of these great memories I am able to cherish forever…”

tears started forming in the corner of your eyes

you took a deep breath in attempt to hold it in but Daniel beat you to it by handing a tissue to you smooth move danik

you managed to mumble out a thanks in between of your sobs

he hushed you then let your head rest on his BUSAN TO MASAN shoulders

you wouldn’t know what you would’ve done without Daniel around

you quickly went ahead to the married couple to congratulate them right after the exchange of vows

“Daniel didn’t pop the question yet?” Doyeon sneakily whispered to you, while Daniel was conversing with her partner

“what? no, we’re not together,” you felt yourself blushed

“oh… i thought after high school, you guys would finally come around and share a future together. it would’ve been so nice to see that,” she said, holding onto your hand

once the ceremony was over, it was finally time for the banquet your favourite

of course Daniel went all out

you came to the table with a plate full of food but he came back with 2 plates and still went back for 2nd round

till this day, you wonder how is he able to consume so much food and still look so good drop em tips boi

“get me some too!” Daniel told you when you stood up to get dessert

you stood in line, with a plate in hand, waiting for your turn when someone approached you

“________? is that you?”

“Sungwoon? omg hey it’s been so long!” he gave you a side hug

you met Sungwoon during your internship, you both were rather close

however, whenever you brought up Sungwoon in your conversations with Daniel, he will immediately tune out

both of you would fight every time he does that, you knew he did so because he was jealous but you never understood why and he would never tell you the reason

Daniel saw Sungwoon’s hand resting on your waist a little too comfortably and he immediately tensed up

he didn’t want to make a scene so he calmed himself down before making his way to the dessert table to get you or more like to make Sungwoon take his hands off you

“babe do you need a hand with those?” Daniel slowly turned your attention to him, which caused Sungwoon to move back, away from you

“babe? wait what?” you were surprised by his choice of words

“ah i see… i’ll talk to you later _______,” Sungwoon walked away, clearly flustered by the situation

“Sungwoon wait- omg Niel are you serious? we were just talking! i can’t believe you!” you pushed him

“he was getting too close! what if he did something to you?” he quickly followed behind, catching up with you

“so what if he is? Daniel, you need to stop being so overprotective of me. I can take care of myself! You can’t just do that all the time. Sungwoon’s a really nice guy and now he’s probably scared to talk to me again coz of you. Forget it, I’m going home,” you stomped away from him

“wait, i’ll take you home. it’s getting late,” he ordered, which you quietly obliged to

the ride home was abnormally quiet

usually both of you would sing along to the songs on your playlist, making jokes and laughing

this time, the radio filled the silence, even so it felt uncomfortable

his grip on the wheel tightened even more, putting all of his focus on the road

you just looked out of the window, deep in thought about what happened earlier

he clearly was being jealous and you hated every time it happens

you aren’t going to stop hanging out with Sungwoon or anyone just so that he will stop being jealous, that would be unfair to you

but you just wish that he would stop it

you finally reached the carpark of your apartment building

you unbuckled your belt and reached for the door handle but Daniel stopped you immediately

“can we talk? i don’t want you to go home all angry”

“…”

“look i just want to apologise. i can’t help but feel jealous and i am sorry that i had to put you in that position,”

you still didn’t want to budge, you crossed your arms and avoided eye contact

he suddenly wrapped his arms around you, hugging you close

“i’m sorry! i didn’t know any better, kid,” he bopped your nose

you felt your heart beating quickly and the heat on your cheeks

you immediately tried to push him away but Daniel hugged you even closer in return

SOMEBODY STOP THIS MAN you are supposed to be angry at him!!!

“hey c’mon please? i’m really sorry about that. let’s turn that frown upside down,” he cupped your face and gave you your favourite eye smile, the one he knew you couldn’t resist i’d faint irl tbh

you can’t help it but to just gave in and forgive him

“just because i forgive you, doesn’t mean i’m not serious about it”

“i know, i’m sorry. i can’t help it,”

“but why? if it’s about them stealing me away from you then-”

“wHAT? NO! i mean yES. i mean- ah i can’t tell you now,”

“WHY! you always can’t tell me why and i want to know why right now”

“i just can’t, no not now please. i’ll tell you next time,”

“no i want to know it right now! can’t you just-”

“I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU OKAY”

silence filled the car once again

you were shocked coz you didn’t expect to hear those words

you had always thought you wouldn’t share mutual feelings coz he had never looked at you that way

and the girls he dated were in no way similar to you, all the more it made you think that you didn’t stand a chance

hearing those words from him made you flustered

“this wasn’t supposed to turn out this way. i wanted to bring you out and tell you how i felt. i even got tips from Doyeon’s partner on it!”

listening to what he had to say made you hide your face in embarrassment

you were so touched, you ended up sobbing into your palms

“wait, no no don’t cry, please. i don’t want you to cry because of me, that’s the last thing i ever wanted,” he held onto your hands

“is that why you couldn’t tell me every time i asked you?” he nodded quietly

“i’m touched by you. i never knew you felt the same way. thank you, for telling me,” you kissed his cheek

Daniel held onto your cheek then pecked your lips

“i’m still going to bring you out and confess to you like how i planned” he grinned to you

[nightbts]

through the night | jjk | 07

pairing: jeon jungkook + stylist! reader

word count: 6.5k

genre: fluff, angst + idol! au

parts: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7

author’s note: and that’s the end everyone, thank you so much for everyone who has loved and supported this fic; it was definitely rough at times but I’m glad I was able to finish it! I hope you guys enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it :’)

listen to this playlist while reading! 

best of friends. that’s what you and jungkook were. as their stylist for several years now, you and jungkook got along like no other and over time developed a friendship that was special to the two of you. but what happens when an IU collaboration deal, a jealous childhood-best friend and secret feelings get intertwined with the simple life you thought you were living?

Humming one of their recent tracks mindlessly, Jungkook slipped his phone back into his pocket after sending Jimin a quick reply, telling him that he’d be there in the studio in just a couple minutes.

As he walked down the hallway, his eyes momentarily fell upon the staff room, knowing if you were to be found anywhere at this time, it would be there or your office.

But after already taking the long way to walk by your empty office, he knew there would be a good chance of you inside those doors. A slight hesitation in his step, he groaned inwardly as his feet automatically walked towards the staff room. Damn, his weakness.

He didn’t even know what he would say to you if you were there. Hello? How are you? Even the thought of it sounded ridiculous to him.

You had been the one to avoid Jungkook, no explanation given, yet he couldn’t help but feel guilty when he gave you the same treatment. He didn’t like it, not a single bit. Not when it pained him every second to see the distraught look on your face, when he just wanted to have you in his arms and tell you to tell him everything, that’d he be there no matter what.

Finding himself reaching for the doorknob, his grip faltered when he glanced up. Jungkook felt his stomach instantly drop as he looked through the small rectangular glass window on the door, his eyes falling on you and Jiho with your lips connected, as you stood there, pressed against the countertop.

Hands trembling, Jungkook looked down at the floor. He knew he had no right to feel hurt, or jealous, yet there he was feeling those emotions in the worst way possible, his heart twisting uneasily in his chest. Before he could fully comprehend the situation, the door had swung open, causing him to back up several steps. There you stood, face flushed with a flustered look painting your soft features. Yet, the second your eyes landed on him, he watched as all the color drained from your face, your eyes widening in fear.  

“Jungkook.”

“Y/N, I—” Jiho’s voice echoed from behind you, his words trailing when his eyes fell on the figure standing in front of you. Frozen, you watched as Jungkook’s gaze slowly moved behind you, instantly hardening as he let out a small scoff. Just when you were about to say something, Jungkook excused himself, twisting around and walking away.

“Jungkook, wait!”

Jungkook heard your voice yet he didn’t stop, only getting more determined to walk faster. “Jungkook—”, you pleaded when he felt your hand grab his wrist, tugging at his arm, causing him to turn around.  

You looked a mess. A panic-stricken expression clouded your face, eyes wide and ears red. Yet as Jungkook’s eyes trailed down to your slightly swollen red lips, it was like another punch right to his gut.

“Please, hear me out.” you started, “Whatever you saw, that wasn’t what—”

“You don’t need to explain anything to me, Y/N.” Jungkook answered without looking at you, “It’s none of my business.”

“No, no, please. You’ve got it all wrong.” Grabbing both of his hands, you made him face you. Despite the usual feeling Jungkook got whenever you touched him, this time he only felt anger bubbling inside of him. “I- I know the last couple weeks have been all kinds of messed up, but please just listen to me—!”

“Y/N”, Jungkook cut you off, this time letting his gaze meet yours, “I already said, you don’t need to explain yourself. Why do you? It’s not like we’re in a relationship or something, right?” he laughed bitterly, yet the words felt harsh even on his own tongue.

Your face falls at that as you slowly drop your hands to your sides; there wasn’t a single lie in the words he said, yet you couldn’t help but wince as they cut through you like knives.

“R-right. I just...I don’t want you to get the wrong idea—” you started when you heard him scoff under his breath, “The wrong idea? You sure didn’t seem to have a problem with that for the last couple weeks.”

You took a step back as you watched him squeeze his eyes shut, his fists clenching together at his sides. Jungkook had tried remaining calm, civil at best, despite what he had stumbled upon. But the more you spoke, he couldn’t.

“You gave me no explanation, no warning, no signs, nothing.” he spat with clenched teeth, as the image of Jiho’s lips on yours appeared once again in his mind, “So don’t act like you’re saving me from getting the ‘wrong idea’ right now when that’s what you’ve been giving me for weeks.”

“Jungkook, you don’t know what you’re talking about—” your voice trembled, despite the hint of warning laced within your words.

However, Jungkook barely took notice of it as your words only caused him to chuckle humorlessly, “I don’t know what I’m talking about? What a joke.”

Moving closer to you, he narrowed his eyes at you before spitting, “I had you go from talking to me every day to now barely even sparing me a glance. And guess what’s worse? You only acted that way with me, not with any of the other members or staff. Did you think I wouldn’t notice that and even when I did, that I’d be oka—?!”

“Well, what did you expect?!”

As the question slipped past your lips, Jungkook saw the way your once pleading eyes quickly hardened as you stared down at the ground, biting down on your lip. Staring at you in slight surprise at your sudden outburst, Jungkook’s brows furrowed. But before he could say anything, you spoke again.

“It must be easy for you to forget Jungkook, but it isn’t the same for me,” you spoke harshly. Watching as confusion clouded his features, you chuckled bitterly, “Of course you wouldn’t know what I’m talking about.”

Your heart started to feel heavy in your chest; simply standing in the presence of Jungkook for this long was enough to make you want to cry and yell at the same time. How were you supposed to make him understand, when the things you wanted to tell him were a secret you had held so dearly for years now?

From the second you knew you had fallen for Jungkook, you had a feeling a day like this would come. You weren’t going to be unrealistic, there was no easy way confessing to your world-wide famous best-friend, that you also worked with, that you were in love with them. But you were still foolish; you told yourself you’d find someone else, or that over time reality would strike you again and you’d magically lose feelings, but you should’ve known none of that would ever happen when you had loved the boy standing in front of you with every ounce of your body.

Mustering up the strength you had left, you asked him the question you had been dying to know the answer to since that night, “Did the night at the studio mean nothing to you?”

Jungkook took in a sharp breath.

After a long time, Jungkook looked straight at you. You watched his gaze soften, shifting into something that appeared to be a dangerous mix of sadness and warmth.

“Of course it didn’t Y/N. That night meant everything to me.”

His words should’ve comforted you. His words should’ve had your heart racing in your chest, had your palms sweating like crazy by your side while you would’ve fought the urge to break out into a heartwarming smile.

Instead, all that left your lips was a bitter chuckle.

“Everything to you?” you repeated dryly, “Is that why you went on the show and serenaded and flirted with IU like your life depended on it?”

Pulling harshly at the loose strands of your worn-out sweater, you spoke, voice shaking with every word, “Listen Jungkook. I never asked you for anything. You chose to be my friend. You chose to get close to me. And you chose to act the way you did that night. So, you have no right to be upset when you did all that. You gave me hope, made me feel things I never felt before and then just—” you hiccuped as a lump formed in your throat, “just acted like none of it mattered to you.”

As silence filled the space around you, the tension became so thick one would need a knife to cut through it. What you had said was enough for even a child to understand; you didn’t have to say it directly for Jungkook to know how just how you felt towards him.

Feeling the emotional exhaustion bear down on you, tears pricking the corners of your eyes you finally spoke, your voice much calmer, dangerously still, “I’m leaving. I can’t do this anymore right now.”

Your words seemed to finally jolt Jungkook back into reality. Still in shock from the things you had said, his mind unable to fully comprehend the meaning behind them, you watched as he shot you a frantic look, “No, Y/N, wait—”

You stared at his feet, your throat dry, “No Jungkook. I’m sorry, I’m leaving.”

“Y/N,” he sighs but you raised your hand up to shut him up, as you slowly backed away. Turning around, you came face to face with another person that only caused your head to ache even more. You watched as he gazed at you worriedly, his hands reaching out towards you when you gently pushed him off, “No Jiho, not today. I need to be alone.”

You turn away from both of them, as you walked away, leaving them behind as they stared at your retreating figure. Your hair did a good job of covering your face as you let the tears roll down your cheeks, hoping to lessen the pain and confusion that overwhelmed you.

“It’s okay to cry, Y/N. Just let it all out.” the soft voice comforted you through the laptop speakers. Whimpering, you pulled your knees up to your chest as you cried harder. Several minutes passed before your sobs began to quiet down.

“God, I hate my fucking life.” you cried, as you wiped the tears that had claimed permanent residency on your face during the last couple days, “I knew from the moment I felt something towards him, nothing good was going to happen.”

Sighing, Chungah shifted so that she propped her chin up on her palm, her face bobbing up and down before finally settling in front of the camera. Frowning slightly at the sight of her sister, she said, “Y/N. You know it’s not your fault. It was inevitable.”

“What about Jiho?! That was never supposed to happen!” you groaned in frustration, falling back against the pillow as you stared up at the ceiling.  

Pursing her lips together, she nodded slowly, “While that did come as a surprise to me, it kinda makes sense too. After all, he was your friend for a long time and had stuck through a lot of your shit.”

Narrowing your bloodshot eyes at her, you replied sarcastically, “Thanks. It’s not like I asked for confirmation on how horrible my life was.”

Moaning for the nth time that day, you sniffled, “I just...I thought Jungkook felt the same way you know? Especially since he almost kissed me that one night—”  

“Well, maybe he does.”

You snap your head up to look at your sister, “What?”

She shrugs. “Have you ever consider hearing him out? It’s not like you walked in on him making out with IU, it was a variety show. Doesn’t a shit ton of editing and directing happen to create something that’s desirable for viewers?”

You opened your mouth to retort, however as you let Chungah’s words sink in, you found yourself having nothing to say. Still, the bitterness you felt inside you would take a lot more than some common sense from your sister to leave.

“But then why didn’t he tell me that? Didn’t he think that would hurt me?”

“Y/N. Did you ever think maybe he didn’t know you liked him either? What makes you think he knows to begin with? You aren’t exactly an open book.”

“Are you on his side or mine?” you scowled defensively.

“I’m not on anyone’s side.” She laughs lightly. “I’m just saying, you were the one to ignore him first and he didn’t even know why. And then, he was the one who saw you and Jiho kissing. Now, if Jungkook really did like you, imagine how much he’s hurting.”

Pursing your lips together, you hung your head low as you let out a soft sigh. You knew she was right. Looking back on it, you knew this all along. Yet somewhere in you, the fear of being wrong about Jungkook was far more frightening to you.

“Y/N.” your sister calls you. You look up and meet her eyes through the laptop screen as she gave you a small smile, “I know everything is confusing right now, and things are hard because these are two people who mean a lot to you. But, you are causing yourself and them more pain by ignoring them. Just, try having a normal conversation. Hear each other out. I promise, it’ll clear things up and have you feeling a lot better in the end.”

That night, you had trouble falling asleep. You let yourself scroll through all your social media accounts mindlessly, however without fail you’d see something BTS-related and there he would be, staring at you with his heart-fluttering smile through your iPhone screen. Groaning, you twisted around in your bed, moving towards your nightstand to put your phone away when you heard your phone vibrate.

[12:47] jungkookie: hey, r u awake?

You stared at the notification banner with wide eyes. Contemplating whether to answer him or not, your sister’s advice came into mind; with hesitation, you clicked on it and started typing your response.

[12:47] you: yea can’t sleep for some reason

[12:47] jungkookie: same, me too

Biting down on your lip, you finally sighed before locking your phone, unsure of how to respond. However, before you could put it away, your screen lit up again.

[12:48] jungkookie: can we talk?

[12:48] you: it’s pretty late jungkook... don’t you have a recording tmrw?

[12:48] jungkookie: i'll be okay can i call?

[12:48] you: i don’t think now’s a good time, jungkook

You knew what Chungah said was right, but everything was still fresh for you. You were afraid, that whatever Jungkook might say to you that night—anything really—you’d be too emotional to handle it properly.

You needed time.

[12:48] jungkookie: maybe tomorrow then?  

[12:49] you: i have a lot of meetings tmrw maybe some other time

You watched as the grey typing bubble appeared and disappeared for several minutes after you had sent your last text message. You sat in fear, hoping he would drop it but also couldn’t help but anticipate what he had to say.

[12:50] jungkookie: that’s okay, some other time it is goodnight Y/N

You stared at the text for a while before pressing the lock button, shoving the phone underneath your pillow. Sleep, you needed to sleep.

“One second!”

Holding the iPad closer to your chest, you took in a deep breath as the studio door swung open. Dressed in simple sweats, yet managing to still look effortlessly handsome, you watched as Jungkook pulled his headphones back, so that it was only covering one ear. Gaze resting on you, his eyes widened slightly in surprise.

“Y/N?”

Looking away, you mumbled softly, “I was assigned to discuss styling plans for your upcoming interview regarding the collaboration.”

Eyes glancing back at the digital clock that rested on his desk, he [said], “Right! I forgot about that. Come inside...”

Reaching out, Jungkook held the door back as you quickly slid yourself past him, moving to the opposite side of the room. Closing the door behind you, he turned around to face you.

“We can sit on the couch if you want.” he offered.

Nodding slowly, you made your way over to the navy blue couch which sat  across from his recording equipment. Following you, he sat beside you while still remaining a significant distance away.

You didn’t know whether to feel hurt or relieved.

“So—” you started, clearing your throat as you forced yourself to push your emotions aside and act more professional, “IU’s stylist sent me over what she’s planning on wearing and he suggested that we try to color-coordinate.”

Unlocking your iPad, you opened up your dropbox which was filled with different sketches and samples of outfits you had pre-planned for him. You clicked on the file IU’s stylist had sent you, “This is what she’ll be wearing.”

Jungkook moved in slightly closer to you, as he peered over your hands to see the image you pulled up. Sketches of a pale satin blue sundress appeared on the screen, followed by an image of IU wearing the dress itself.

“Wow, she looks amazing.” he whispered in awe when he suddenly looked up at you, a flustered look spreading across his face, “I-I mean, so would anyone else—”

Ignoring him, despite the pang of jealousy that came with his side comment, your lips pursed into a thin line as you continued to scroll down the files. Jungkook gulped beside you, scolding himself mentally for being an idiot who couldn’t control his thoughts.

“Pants or Jeans?” Jungkook murmured softly, causing you to look at him in surprise.

“Huh?”

Pointing towards the notes you had scribbled in the bottom corner of the page, he said, “You wrote, pants or jeans here. Personally, I think black slacks would work well with this outfit.”

“Ah, that.” you replied, quickly nodding, “I think you’re right too. Here, let me show you some of the sets I had paired.”

Within minutes, the discomfort you had initially felt had worn off as you and Jungkook continued to discuss more about his outfit choices and all the specific technicalities that followed with choosing certain brands than others.

“Honestly, you know I’m not too picky. These aren’t really my style, but I’ll wear what I need to for the interview.” he said to which you laughed slightly, “Jungkook, if we let you dress up in your style, you’d just wear all black.”

“Hey, what’s wrong with that?!” he grinned, flashing you a cheeky smile.

You had missed moments like this. Moments where he would crack jokes with you, give you a playful wink when he made a cheeky statement or smile at you when you could lend him words of encouragement. Moments you had decided you couldn’t handle anymore because of your growing feelings.

But maybe you could return to normalcy; maybe if you tried hard enough, things could be the same.

Shaking your head in amusement, you gave him a knowing look before bringing your attention back to your notes. Circling the option the both of you agreed on, and adding some final notes for alterations, you pressed the lock button.

Looking back up at him, you noticed he was already staring at you, a soft smile resting on his face. Upon being caught, he quickly lowered his gaze, staring down at his hands that were clasped together tightly in his lap.

“I-I should get going now,” you said softly, the tension slowly starting to build up to what it was when you first got here.

“Y-Yea...”  

Giving him a small goodbye, you got up from the couch and made your way towards the door. Watching you from behind, Jungkook had to hold himself from reaching out and grabbing your arm to stop you from leaving him. He should’ve asked you more questions, more details about his outfit, more about the interview itself even though you wouldn’t know the answers to them, just to keep you with him here longer. Instead, he watched as you walked away.

Reaching the door handle, your sister’s words rung through your head, causing you to hesitate. Sighing under your breath, you contemplated turning around or simply leaving. But before you could come to a decision, a voice pulled you out your thoughts.

“Y/N, w-wait...”

Fingertips barely grazing the top of the handle, you stiffened as you heard the couch creak, followed by footsteps moving towards your direction.

“Can we talk?” you heard him ask softly.

Shutting your eyes tightly, you let out a shaky breath before turning around halfway. Jungkook was looking down at your feet, his brows furrowed tightly together as he shifted from one foot to another.

“I just—” he started with a sigh, running his hands through his hair, “The way I said things the other day were really harsh, and I regretted them the moment I said them. I just feel like, there are a lot of things unspoken between us and I just wanna talk—”

“Okay.”

Stopping mid-sentence, Jungkook looked at you in slight surprise, “O-Okay?”

Nodding, you completely turned around so that you were facing him, “Yea, let’s talk. Chungah said I needed to hear you out...” you trailed off, ending with a soft mumble, “Or something like that.”

At that, the corner of Jungkook’s mouth twitched, “Chungah said that? Guess I owe your sister, huh?”

Laughing lightly, silence quickly filled the room soon after, neither of you knowing what to say, or where to even start. Finally, as the tension grew enough to suffocate you, you let out a huge breath, lifting your eyes to meet his, “Jungkook—”

“Wait, before you talk, can I say something first?” he quickly intercepts, his eyes pleading as you gave him a silent nod.

“The things you said the other day had me thinking a lot,” he started, “When you mentioned the night at the dance studio, and then the show with IU, I started thinking about what you were trying to say because in that moment, I was filled with so much pent-up frustration that I didn’t even try to understand. But after I was much calmer, I thought about it and...I think I get it now.” Scratching the back of his neck, you saw what you thought was him blushing as his face flushed a deep shade of red, “A-and, I wanted you to know that I feel the same way too.”

Blinking at him, you stared at him for what seemed like too long before he gave you a flustered look, “I just—I thought about how I felt that night in the dance studio with you and then I thought about all of the other times you made me feel the same way, whether it was when you were by my side during the tour or when you were always supportive of everything I did, everything started to make sense.”

You knew exactly what he was saying, yet you couldn’t believe your own ears. Your hands shook at your sides, as you quickly clutched the material of your skirt in attempts to hide your nervousness from Jungkook.

“W-what made sense?” you asked in a soft whisper. Meeting your gaze, he saw the way you looked at him earnestly, anticipation dripping from your gaze. Chuckling softly, Jungkook stepped closer to you. His hands slowly reached down to yours, removing them from your skirt and enclosing them within his own.

“It made sense that all this time Y/N, I was in love with you.”

You blinked furiously at him, his words causing your heart to beat so loud, you could feel it drumming in your ear. Yet as you stood there staring at him, his eyes suddenly making your knees weaken, the only words you could muster up  were, “W-was?”

Lips parting, Jungkook stared at you before stifling a laugh. The look on his face was enough to break you out of your initial shock; frowning slightly, you gave his shoulder a gentle shove.

“I’m being serious...” you murmured, feeling embarrassed as you looked away.  

Jungkook smiled, almost shyly, before lowering his head and crouching down to match your level, forcing you to meet his gaze yet again.

“Am.” he whispered softly, his brown orbs staring lovingly into yours, “I am in love with you. So damn much.”

Tears pricking the corner of your eyes, you shook your head in disbelief as you felt every neuron in your body explode, a million fireworks going off as you stood there staring at the boy who you loved so much, admit that he loved you back.

Before you could regret anything, you threw your arms around him and pulled him into a hug, your head resting on his chest as you could hear the way his heart thrummed against it.

“Jungkook, I love you so much too.” you finally whispered, laughing lightly through the tears that escaped your eyes.

Wrapping his arms around your waist, he pulled you closer to him as he held you tighter, his head resting perfectly into the crook of your neck, “I never thought I would hear you say that.”

Pulling away, you gave him a silly look, sniffling, “You’re an idiot. Who wouldn’t love you?”

Laughing softly, Jungkook said with a fond look, “I didn’t care about anyone else, except you Y/N. You were all that mattered to me.”

Feeling a new wave of tears come about, you were about to ask him when he had learned to get all gushy like that when a certain someone came to mind. Noticing the smile on your face had faded, your brows furrowing together, Jungkook looked at you in concern.

“What’s wrong?”

Pressing your lips together, you looked up at him, “I need to explain myself too, Jungkook. That day when you saw me with Jiho—”

“Y/N, it’s alright—.”

“No, it’s not! You deserve to know—”

Pressing a finger to your lips, you closed your mouth as you looked at him with wide eyes. Laughing at the expression on your face, he finally said, “We talked about it. Jiho and I. He told me everything, so don’t worry. You don’t have to explain.”

At that, you blinked at him in surprise, “You and Jiho talked? When?”

“The same day. When you had left us both standing there, I kinda got upset at him but in the end we talked it all out and he told me everything.” Jungkook replied. He remembered the way he had turned to face Jiho as soon as you had left his sight, his gaze blazing with anger at the older man when he suddenly saw Jiho with his head hung low, defeat evident in his eyes. Both of them had sat down in the staff room, the room where just minutes ago Jiho had kissed you, a moment he knew he would regret for his entire life. There, he had told Jungkook everything. From how he knew Jungkook had liked you, how Jiho had loved you for so long and how he didn’t think Jungkook deserved you. But eventually, Jiho had admitted that it was his own selfishness and insecurities which were stopping him from accepting Jungkook.

“Ah, really?” you mumbled. Your eyes fluttered close as a soft sigh evaded your lips. During the time you spent avoiding Jungkook, you had ignored Jiho’s texts and calls too. You felt like the world’s biggest hypocrite.

You felt a hand brush against your cheek, pulling your attention back to the boy who stood before you.

“I know what you’re thinking, and I can’t even imagine how much he’s hurting. But, this isn’t your fault, okay? Just remember that.” Jungkook told you in hopes of reassuring you.

A moment passed before you finally spoke, “I-I just...I wish I had known before. I wish he had told me so I could’ve told him that all my life, he’s always been the older brother figure in my life. The timing of all this is just horrible, you know?”

Pulling you back into your arms, Jungkook rubbed your back softly as you took comfort in his touch. One on hand, the guilt gnawed at you but on the other, you knew this was what your heart had been waiting for all your life.

“Y/N, don’t feel guilty about being happy. We’ll figure this out together, step by step, alright?” Jungkook whispered into your ear. Hearing his words, you felt your heart fill with warmth, the word together causing you to break into a smile as you nodded.

“Yea, together.”

“Jungkook! Where are we going!”

Flailing you arms about, trying to grasp onto something to make sense of where you were, you felt a warm hand slip into yours before Jungkook scolded you in a hushed whisper, “Could you be any louder!? I snuck away from late night practice for this. Hoseok hyung will kill me if he finds out!”

Attempting to roll your eyes underneath the blindfold Jungkook had haphazardly tied across your eyes, you instead chose to pout, whining softly, “Hey, you’re the one who kidnapped me. I just wanna know where we’re going~”

Suddenly, you felt your cheeks squish together, the motion causing you to go still as you felt Jungkook’s hot breath dangerously close to your face. Lips puckered like a fish, you stammered, “J-Jungkook—”

“Stop acting cute or I’ll kiss you, dumbass,” he mumbled softly, his words causing your cheeks to heat up.

Releasing your cheeks, Jungkook grabbed your hand again as you bit down on your lip to prevent yourself from saying anything else. You let Jungkook lead you up a staircase, when you heard the sound of a door creaking open, a sudden gust of wind welcoming you.

“Are we—” you started when you felt Jungkook move behind you, untying the blindfold as the cloth fell from your eyes. Blinking, you let out a soft gasp as you took in the sight in front of you.

“What is all this?” you whispered out loud, as you looked around in awe. You were standing in the rooftop of the BigHit building as the area looked completely different to how it usually does; blankets were spread around with pillows of all sizes everywhere, some even resembling a fort. Beside that laid a mini grilling set, meat and veggies resting on the side as a pack of beer cans sat beside it. String lights were hung from across the area, the soft yellow lights twinkling like stars as the brought a gentle warmth despite the darkness that enveloped the night sky above you.

"D-do you like it?”

Glancing up at Jungkook, you stared at him as he peered down at you nervously, rolling his lips between his teeth. Shaking your head in disbelief, you threw yourself onto Jungkook, your arms wrapping around his neck as you grinned, “Do I like it? This is amazing Jungkook, I absolutely love it!”

You watched as he sighed in immediate relief, his shoulders relaxing as you turned back around to look at the set-up one more time, “Jungkook, why did you do all this, I’m—”

Wrapping his arms from behind you, he rested his head in the crook of your neck as you turned to look at him, his face just mere millimeters away from yours, “I wanted to do something special for you. A surprise first date.”

You raised a brow, before musing, “A date? I didn’t realize we were dating, Jungkook.”

Jungkook suddenly looked flustered, his eyes widening as he broke out into a fit of coughs, nervous laughter spilling past his lips, “I-I, uh, um—”

Stifling a laugh, your hand grasped the collar of his jacket before pulling him down to your level, kissing him right on the cheek. Pulling back, you gave him a playful wink before grinning, “I’m kidding, dumbass.”

Blinking, he watched as you pulled away from his grasp and made your way to the area he had set-up for your date. His fingers slowly grazed the spot on his cheek where you had kissed him, the feeling of your soft lips still stuck in his memory.

“Jungkook, are you coming or not?” he heard you call, as you tried your best not to laugh at the flushed look on his face, despite having your own heart race as your lips tingled.

//

After you and Jungkook had eaten every last ounce of meat, even playing an endless round of rock-paper-scissors to see who would get the last piece, (Jungkook won, but still ended up feeding it to you. “It’s called true love,” he grinned cheekily.) the both of you were finally full and were now resting against the mountain of soft pillows around you as you overlooked the bustling nightlife beneath you. 

Cracking open a beer can, Jungkook handed it to you as you gave him a small thank you, before taking a sip, the cold liquid rushing down your throat.

“Mm, that’s good stuff,” you hummed in appreciation, quickly taking another sip as the bittersweet taste fills your mouth. 

“Slow down there, I don’t want you getting drunk that fast.”

“Why, you planning on doing something?” you teased boldly, not knowing where this surge of confidence within you came from. Rolling his eyes in amusement, Jungkook simply moved closer to you before wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you closer to his side, allowing you to naturally rest your head on his chest, his own resting atop your head.

Snuggling closer into his touch, you let out a sigh of content before you finally said, “You know? This reminds me of the time you called me to drink with you on the rooftop of your old dormitory.”

“Hmm, really?” 

“I remember saying some really dangerous things back then when I was drunk,” you chuckled softly, “I’m pretty sure I asked you back then if you liked me.”

Taking another sip, Jungkook’s brows quirked, the corner of his lips twitching in amusement, “You did? Wow, what did I say?”

“You didn’t hear me,” you replied with a snort looking back on the memory, “And then I caught myself, so I quickly changed the question to ask you whether you had ever liked someone.”

Shaking his head, Jungkook laughed, “Of course you did that. Imagine if you had actually answered me Y/N, you could’ve saved us several years.”

At that, the smile on your lips fell. Removing yourself from him, you turned to stare at him with wide eyes, “W-what?”

His brows knitted together in confusion as he took in your shocked appearance, “What? What happened?”

“What do you mean by I could’ve saved us several years?” you repeated slowly, your gaze unwavering while Jungkook blinked, before you saw his lips curve upwards into a smile.

“Y/N,” he started, his eyes softening. The way he looked at you reminded you of when he had told you he loved you, your heart fluttering at the memory. Jungkook gently tucked the stray strands that fell out of your ponytail back behind your ear, before he whispered softly, “Did you think I only started loving you recently?”

You blinked once. Twice. Until his words seeped into your brain. 

“W-hat?” you stammered. The bold character you played so confidently seemed to fall apart as you stared at the boy in front of you, his gentle gaze making you feel something almost indescribable. 

Jungkook’s hand was now cupping your cheeks, as his fingers gently brushed against your cheekbone, “I didn’t know it at first. I always thought we were just really close, nothing more than best-friends. But later I realized—” he chuckled softly, shaking his head as if he couldn’t believe it himself, “—I realized that, all this time, what I felt towards you had always been love. I’ve loved you since the beginning Y/N...” 

“Jungkook.” you whispered with a soft smile, tears shimmering in your eyes.

As his name left your lips, Jungkook’s heart skipped a beat as his eyes flickered down to your lips before meeting your gaze once again, your cheeks flaring up in response. Just as he started moving closer, your eyes began to flutter close when you felt his hands graze yours, before he carefully removed the beer can from your hand, setting it aside. Glancing at it in slight confusion, you blinked curiously at Jungkook when suddenly you felt a pair of gentle, warm lips meet your own. 

Lingering for only a little while, it was enough to have you chasing as you immediately pulled Jungkook’s neck back towards you so that you could kiss him again, your chest bursting with a feeling you had never knew existed. The softness of his lips enveloped yours as they gently, lovingly glided across your own, his hands trailing down to your waist as he pulled you flush against him.

Losing your balance, before you knew it you had fallen against Jungkook, pushing him back as the both of you fell against the pillows around you. Pulling away with a soft chuckle, your foreheads were touching as you felt completely breathless, a shaky breath escaping his own lips as his eyes fluttered open to meet yours, sparkling like the stars above. 

Leaning back in, he pressed a soft kiss to your nose, and then your forehead, his touch sending flutters down your spine. Finally, Jungkook pulled you into a hug, and you basked in the warmth of his body as you hummed in content. You thought you could probably stay like this forever, and if time decided to stop at this exact moment, you’d be fine to be in this exact position, under the stars with the boy you had loved so much. It was crazy to think how long you had dreamed of this, to be able to hold him, kiss him and call him yours. Yet, before you knew it there you were, living it all. 

“I don’t wanna leave. Can we just stay here?” Jungkook murmurs, arms tightening, “like, all night?” 

Chuckling, you leaned back and rested your arms on his chest, “You know we can’t, Hoseok would kill you.”

Even though he knew you were right, instead Jungkook chose to purse his lips together into a pout. Laughing, you brought your hands up to his cheeks and pinched them lovingly, cooing as he simply batted your hands away, whining softly. The both of you burst into soft giggles as you gently brought his face back to yours, hoping to continue where you left off. 

Bang!

Freezing in the position you were in, Jungkook and you turned around abruptly as you saw the rooftop door swing open, slamming the wall behind it, the sound echoing in your eyes. Your eyes widened as they fell upon a figure standing at the entrance,

"Shit.” Jungkook murmured, while you ducked your head back into Jungkook’s chest, your face flushing in embarrassment. 

Hoseok crossed his arms across his chest disapprovingly, despite the hint of amusement that played across his lips. 

“Jeon Jungkook!” 

[iconic12]

Tough Love - Asahi

Tough Love - Asahi

Any music is fine <3

Pairing: producer!Asahi x internproducer! gn reader

Warnings: insecurities, shouting(?), anxiety (?), a mention of crying

Genre: Angst, Fluff (at the end)

Author’s Note: Hi! This is pure fiction! I just got any song for the story, so you’ll be seeing some random titles every now and then. I’m not a producer so there may be some inaccuracies. Anyway! Hope you enjoy this fic!! Keep reading under the cut! <33

The day is done, and the night is coming. I’ve been working hard for the past 12 hours at the studio for the upcoming evaluations. I’m here, working as an intern at YG Entertainment. Hoping to find a place here to make a career out of. My other friends are in the other rooms also working their heads off. Our assignment is to make a song, and it has to be perfect. This is our first evaluation. If I fail this, the judges will get the wrong impression of me.

Someone knocks on the door. “Y/N!! OPEN THE DOOR I NEED HELP!” “Yes Bora, what do you need?” I answered. “I can’t think of any lyrics!”, “well that happens sometimes, I don’t know what to do either. I mean, I have the melody down, but I can’t think of anything to write about.” “We are both going to fail, aren’t we” “HEY! Don’t say that. We got in for a reason. So, all we have to do is work our hardest.”, “You’re right, thanks. I’ll write about that!”. “Wait what?” Before she could hear me, she closed the door and ran to her studio. ‘Hmmm, everyone seems to be getting things right nowadays…. Can’t say the same for myself” I thought. Just go to keep on working I guess....

The next day..

Evaluation day. The most dreaded day of every intern and trainee. Everyone is panicking and it’s scaring me even more. “Interns, please come inside the practice room” Okay, it’s time. I have to be confident, or else I’ll be an easy target. “Hey, are you scared?” Bora asked. “Of course I am, these are professionals who are going to be judging us.” “You can do this bff, don’t be too scared.” “Thanks!” We sat down on the benches, and waited for the mentors to come in. A few minutes later, the door clicks and reveals our three mentors and two guests. “Omg they are the treasure members” “It’s Asahi and Choi Hyunsuk sunbae” “Omg they’re legends” as the amount of murmurs grew, our head mentor spoke up. “For our evaluations from now on, we’ll be having guest mentors, Asahi and Hyunsuk of Treasure, joining us. Please give them a hand.” After the applause ends, he speaks again. “Okay, let’s start the evaluations. Beware that we have the camera to record your progress. Thank you” As they go through all of our names, the more I get nervous. I’m panicking, help.. I can’t do this. As I was thinking to myself, I was cut off.

“L/N Y/N '' Okay it’s time. I stood up and went to the front. “Hello, I’m L/N Y/N.” “What’s the title of your song?” “It’s called BBIBBI (original by IU).” “What’s it about?” “It’s about the toxic society we live in and the standards put up by the media for artists” “Okay, let’s hear it” I clicked the play button. They all have blank faces, what are they thinking? Do they hate it? As a train of thoughts kept on running, I didn’t realize that the song ended until one of the mentors spoke up. “Okay, what do you think of the song?” he asks the panel of mentors. “It was enjoyable and the vibe was nice,” says the head mentor. “Thank you” As each of the judges give their comments, Asahi speaks up, “I didn’t really enjoy it, it’s not exactly my type and it was kind of a typical topic to write about” he says blatantly. Ouch, that hurt. Oh my god, that’s so embarrassing, the mentors must think I’m stupid or something. After an awkward silence, someone speaks up, “Okay thank you, next”

“Okay, thank you for attending. Results and rankings will be up in three days. Thank you.” As everyone starts to leave the room, Bora stands up and pulls me with her. “Come on, it’s not that bad.” “It's horrible Bora, I was completely embarrassed over there. I was put on spotlight and was given the worst comment a producer could get. TIMES 3! I just want to bury myself in a hole and disappear. You didn’t even see the way others were looking at me. They were looking at me with pity, PITY!” “Hey, don’t say bad things about yourself. Just move on and let’s keep on working harder.”

Three days pass and I rank at the bottom. God this hurts.

Months later…..

Months pass by, month after month, after month. Nothing but criticism. From him.

I feel like I’m not going anywhere. It’s starting to get to me. Am I not good enough? Am I really as bad as he says I am? This is killing me. There is another evaluation coming. I really want to disappear right now. I can’t do this. They don’t know the amount of times I had a breakdown in my studio. It hurts too much to still be here. Just one last evaluation. One more, if it goes wrong, that’s the last straw for me. I just have to give it everything, I guess.

This is my last song. This is it. Hopefully this will work.

Evaluations are on going. My name is called. “L/N Y/N” “Okay, what’s the title of your song and what is it about?” “The title is How You Like That and it’s about saying goodbye to a toxic and painful past, and leaving those who hurt you behind.” (this is just a version to match the story!) “Okay, play it for us then.”

I waited as their eyes were judging me, shaking their heads every now and then. Great, they hate it. As the song ends, they say, “Thank you, next”

To cool off some pressure, I went to a café to get a drink. As I sat down after ordering, someone approached me. I look up and I see a middle-aged man. He hands me a card and says, “Hello, I am Kim Myeong Jun and I’m the head of Music Production at SM Entertainment.” “Oh, hello! May I help you?” “I heard that you are an intern producer at YG. We heard a snippet of your work and we would like to offer you a position at our company as a producer, not an intern.” “Wow, that’s great…” “You don’t have to decide right now, we can give you a week to think about it. Hope you could consider our offer.” he smiles and says. “Thank you so much, I’ll think about this and I’ll call you about my decision.” I smile back. As he stands up and leaves, I think to myself, ‘This is great. Should I take it?’

After much thought, I decided to take it. It hurts too much to still be in a company that doesn’t appreciate my work.

The next morning, I walk to the office and ask for a resignation form. Although, I don’t understand why the woman at the desk looks at me with shock. Did something happen? Anyways, I have a day to move out and submit this. I have to hurry up. While walking in the hallway, I accidentally bump into somebody. “I’m so sorry!” I look up and I see him, Asahi… “Oh, hello sunbae.” He greets back and all of a sudden asks, “What’s that in your hand?”, “Oh, this is a resignation form.” “You are leaving the program?” he asks. “Yeah, I got a better deal somewhere else, so I have to resign. I’m sorry but I don’t have that much time. I’ll see you around.” I bow and turn around to leave. “Why are you leaving?!” he shouts. I huff and turn around. “It’s because of the treatment I get here. I get treated like trash and I get nothing but degrading comments from you and the other mentors.” “It’s for your own good!” “No it's not!! You aren’t teaching me anything but to feel bad about myself! You hate me just admit it!” “Hey! Nobody said I hated you” “Then why do you treat me that way? Huh? What did I ever do to you?!” I said. “You are a good producer. That’s what you are. Okay? You are good and I’m teaching you the way I was taught. With pressure. I don’t hate you. Your last song was very good, the best we’ve heard in months from any intern. But it was your choice to leave and quit.” he says. And he walks away. Leaving me in shock.

A few months later…

I’ve been doing great here. I really enjoy being here and making a contribution to artists’ music. I still keep in touch with Bora and everyone else and it sounds like it’s going great over there. I just feel kind of bad with how I left things with Asahi. I was so disrespectful. I still think about it every now and then. I wish I could apologize, but I can’t do anything about it.

Mr. Kim comes into the room and says, “Okay! We are having a collaboration with YG Entertainment so here is the list of people joining us for tomorrow’s meeting.” YG?! Oh my god. I take a look at the list, and I see my name. Of course it’s there, I think. “Hey Y/n, didn’t you work there before?” Yoojin, another producer, asks me. “Yeah, but I was only an intern.” “Oh, interesting. You’ll be having a blast from the past I guess!” “Yeah, I guess.”

The next day...

Wow. It feels different to be here again. I got out of the van and followed Mr. Kim into the building. They really upgraded their system, I thought. We are led to a room and I greet everyone. “We are just waiting for some people if you don’t mind waiting.” someone says and we just nod. “Hello, sorry for being late.” I look at who says that and I see someone who I never thought I would see again. Asahi and his members. Great. The universe is really not on my side, is it.

After the meeting, someone walks up to me. I look at who it is, and I see Asahi. “Hi. It’s been a while.” he says. “Oh hi, yeah. It has been a while.” A silence washes over, and I say, “Um, I just wanted to apologize for how I acted, you know, last time we met…” “No, it’s my fault. I was the one who was too harsh on you. I apologize.” “Oh, it’s alright. So, does this mean we’re okay?” “Yeah, we’re good,” he says and smiles. “Would you like to help me out with something?” he asks. “Sure, why not?” I said and smiled as he led me to a studio. ‘He’s not as bad as I thought he was,’ I think to myself.

What they didn’t know about those bad experiences was that it was the start to a blooming friendship.

The End

[k-llama-llama]

The Right Choice

Stray Kids AU: 9th member

Tori x Stray Kids

Tori makes a decision.

A/N:  Please check out my PATREON (patreon.com/kllamallama) for exclusive posts you can’t get anywhere else, as well as lots of other cool benefits!

Requests are OPEN and your feedback is still greatly appreciated!

Masterlist and other Follow Me links in bio!

“I’m going out, do you need anything from the store?” Tori called out as she pulled her shoes on.

Chan came out of the kitchen. “You’re going out?”

“Yeah.” She grabbed her mask out of her pocket. “Is there something you need?”

“Just this.” He glanced quickly to make sure they were alone and then leaned in to press a quick kiss to her lips.

Tori frowned. “I meant things from the store, you loser.”

“Nah, I’m good.” He grinned. “But you’re going to the store?”

“Yes!” Tori laughed. “What’s so confusing?”

“You’re bringing your laptop.” Chan noted. “You don’t usually do that.”

“I’m going to do some work at a coffee shop.” Tori lied. “Why, do you need me back for something?”

He shook his head. “Just for practice later. We’re going to start recording soon so you have to get familiar with the new songs.”

“I’ll be back.” Tori promised. “See you later?”

“See you.” He kissed her on the cheek. “Be safe.”

Tori made her way down to the street, hailing a cab and getting in. Truth be told, she actually had a meeting with JYP, but she didn’t think now was the time to broach the subject with Chan. She’d tell him tonight, after she talked it over with JYP and decided what she wanted to do.

Too quickly, the cab pulled up at the JYP building. Tori hurried in, straight to the elevator and up to the administration floors. She knew JYP was expecting her, but she still knocked timidly on the door frame.

“Come in!”

Tori snuck in, giving a bow and a polite smile to the man as she took a seat at the couch in his office.

“Tori, glad you could make it?” He closed his own laptop and walked over to sit across from her. “Any progress?”

Tori nodded, opening her bag and setting up her computer. “I looked at the notes you sent me and tried to work them into the song. I finished it last night.”

“Well, let me hear it!” He exclaimed.

Tori hit play, leaning back into the chair to watch as he took in the music. If she’d been proud of the song when she first showed it to him weeks ago, that was nothing on how she felt about it now. She’d poured everything into the song, and now felt that it was the perfect song for her.

“It’s really good.” JYP nodded. “You’ve really cleaned it up, but your style still rings through.”

“You think?” Tori grinned. “I’m pretty happy with it.”

“So am I.” JYP agreed. “So we need to talk about your next steps.”

“Right.” Tori bit her lip. “I was thinking about that, and maybe I could just release it as a bonus video. You know like the one Jisung is working on.”

JYP sighed. “Is that really what you want?”

“Well, it wouldn’t be too much of a hassle and I think it would be a good idea.” She said, settling her hands in her lap.

“Can I ask you a something? And will you answer honestly.”

“Of course, sir.” Tori nodded.

“You love this song?”

“A lot.” She confirmed.

“So why not try to release it as a Stray Kids song?”

Tori tilted her head. “It’s not really....I don’t think the style would suit Stray Kids.”

“But it would suit you?”

“I think so.”

“What do you think the other members would say, if you were to go solo?”

“I....” Tori thought for a moment. “I think they would support me no matter what I did. But I love Stray Kids.”

“So if you love the song, and you know it suits you, and you know they’d support you, why not let this be your solo debut?” JYP asked, a smile on his face.

Tori swallowed. “I don’t want to take away from the group. It shouldn’t be all about me.”

“The group wouldn’t be all about you.” JYP reminded her. “But this is a chance for you to take some time and advance your career.”

Tori looked down at the screen, where the muted song was still rotating through. She’d worked so hard on it, and she knew that in another world, it was exactly the type of song she would want to release.

So why not in this world?

“I don’t want to leave Stray Kids.” Tori said finally. “But I want to release the song.”

JYP grinned. “Good. That’s what I was hoping you’d say.”

“So...” Tori managed a smile. “What happens next?”

“We refine the song a bit, schedule a shoot and figure out when we’re releasing it.” JYP told her. “And then we find a promotion schedule that works and it’s good to go.”

“I have....” Tori coughed. “I have ideas for concept and stuff.”

JYP studied her for a moment. “You’re just full of surprises.”

“What do you mean?” Tori tilted her head. 

“Well, I know you’ve had lyric credits before, and you’ve done choreography, but I think this is the first time you’ve worked on something that is your own style.”

“I think so too.” Tori admitted. “But I’m happy about it.”

“That’s the most important thing.” JYP smiled. “I have another meeting, but if you can send me the final version of the song, we’ll arrange a meeting where you can present all of your ideas.”

“Sounds perfect.” Tori grinned, closing her laptop and standing. “Thank you sir.”

JYP held out a hand. “Excited to work with you, Tori Park.”

Tori shook his hand with a smile. “Excited to work with you too, sir.”

The second she was out of the office, she was dialling Felix’s number.

“How did it go?” Felix asked as soon as he picked up the phone.

“I’m doing it!” Tori exclaimed. “I’m doing it, Lix and I’m so excited.”

“It’s going to be awesome!” She could hear him cheering on the other side. “You telling everyone tonight?”

“Chan first, and then yeah.” She confirmed. “But, oh my god, this is insane.”

“You’re going to be a solo artist, Heechul-ah.” Felix told her through the phone. “You’re going to be like the next IU.”

“You haven’t even heard the song yet, how do you know it’s any good?”

“Easy, because you wrote it.” Felix laughed. “Hurry up and get home to tell everyone. Oh, and can you-”

“I’m stopping to get snacks.”

“You’re the best.” He told her. “I’m your number one fan.”

[satoruvt]

the color of you - you (7)

thank u for reading. this was an amazing ride. i hope this last chapter is as meaningful to u as it is to me.

pairing → keigo takami x reader

word count → 3249

summary → you’re not really dating, so you can’t really be in love with him... right?

song inspo → kill my time and best years by 5sos and the Tiniest bit of eight by iu x suga!!!

this chapter → y/n’s sad, two cute girls, a text, a talk, kisses, a happy ending for our favorite idiots in love.

warnings → super emotional sex at the end lol

It’s taken a while for you to get to functioning level. A while, you think, because it’s been two weeks and you just now are starting to take note of the dirty dishes in your sink and the pile of laundry in the corner of your room that you haven’t washed yet. Because it’s been two weeks and most nights you lay in your bed and sit there and stare at the wall. Because it’s been two weeks and you still replay what you said, over and over in your head, because it’s been two weeks and you have to will yourself not to cry when you see Keigo on news reports on TV or in the local newspaper.

A while. And you’re still not… okay, yet. It might take a while longer to get there.

The days go by quickly. You spend your time baking, like usual, but it’s lonesome now. It was never lonesome before Keigo - tiring, sure, but it never made you lonely. He never helped you out anyways, he sat on top of your counters and snuck spoonfuls of cake batter and icing like a brat (and pouted when you said no more, like a brat). And when you’re not baking, you’re scrolling mindlessly through social media. Or crying. Or laying in your bed. Or all three, at once, on the worst nights, because this shit sucks.

In retrospect, you have no idea why this hurts so much. Keigo and you, despite legal arrangements, were never really dating. He was never yours to lose. He was a friend, when it came down to labels. Fake boyfriend, if you really wanna be technical. That’s it, though, nothing else - you two are - were - friends.

Still, it hurts. It hurts a lot. It hurts so much sometimes you think you feel it physically; some nights ago you thought about it and almost-felt a bright flash of pain over your heart, like your brain expected it to happen but it didn’t. You cried for a bit after that. Ran yourself a bath at near-three in the morning, soaked emotionlessly in the hot water in the quiet. It didn’t make you feel much better, not really, but it soothed you at least for a short time.

You’re walking to Angel Cakes (the clouds are painted different shades of gray, so you hurry just in case it starts to rain) when you feel your phone buzz in your pocket. Your music stops - a call, it seems - and when you pull your phone out to see the number you see it’s Keigo’s publicist. You figured it was coming, but - again - it’d been a while, so it still takes you a bit by surprise.

You don’t even get to murmur out a greeting before the guy’s speaking. “Why did you call it off so suddenly?”

You blink, sigh, don’t even bother with a hello anymore. “I just… couldn’t do it,” you answer, and it’s at least kind of true. Vague, but true.

Keigo’s publicist sighs, this time, and you can almost see him pinching the bridge of his nose. “Okay, well, legally, you’ve only got three weeks left to keep this up. You don’t have to talk to him often, but don’t make it obvious something happened. Do you think you can do that?”

“Do I have a choice?”

“If it really bothers you, I won’t pressure you. Neither will Hawks. But I hope you stick around for what little time is left.”

The call ends with a gentle “okay” on your end, and then his publicist thanks you and hangs up. By the time you put your phone back into your pocket you’ve arrived at the bakery. You walk through the front, offer a few of your employees a tight-lipped smile, then make your way directly into the kitchen.

The day is so slow and so fast at the same time. It seems to take hours to mix ingredients, but proving dough for three and a half hours seems like fifteen minutes. That’s how it’s been lately - slow and fast and stagnant and flowing all at the same time. You stopped, but the world didn’t, and it makes you dizzy to try and catch up. Somehow it happens, but you feel barely there.

You’re usually just in the kitchen most days - you are the head baker - but all you’re doing is waiting for a few batches of cupcakes to cook, and it’s a busy day, so you decide the front of the house could use some help. You tell one of your employees to go on their break while you take over at the register.

The customers come and go; you write down names, call out orders and hand out pastries and coffees. Two girls walk in at one point - memorable, since one of them has bright pink skin and they’re both wearing UA uniforms, you recognize - and you smile at them when they come up to the counter, but they don’t order anything.

“Can we have a picture?” The pink girl asks, eyes blinking at you. You furrow your brows.

“What? Why?” is your first reaction, and the other girl - who has pink cheeks and a cute bob - speaks.

“You’re Hawks’ girlfriend! We love you,” she says, adding the last part shyly, and both of them look up at you hopefully.

Her words send you into a brief moment of thought - you miss Keigo. You’ve known that you do, it never leaves, it’s always in the back of your mind at the very least, but seeing these girls, knowing they’ve followed yours and Keigo’s relationship, knowing they fully believe you and him are together… it does something to you.

Nonetheless, the gesture is nice, and it makes you smile genuinely for the first time in a while. “Okay,” you agree, chuckling at their delighted giggles. They turn around, the pink girl holds her phone out to catch the three of you in a photo, and you throw up a peace sign and the cutest face you know how to do. As icing on the cake, they both order something to go, too. You call out a thank you for your support as they exit through the doors, grinning back at you.

The thought of Keigo lingers in your mind as your employee from before comes back out and you retreat into the kitchen once more.

-

You need to tell Keigo.

If he doesn’t already know. You need to tell him, because ever since those girls visited the bakery, you can’t stop thinking about it. You need to tell him because regardless of how much easier it is, you hurt him by not just explaining that he didn’t do anything, and there’s only, like, two weeks left until the contract is done, and if he never wants to see you again, he won’t have to.

You need to tell him.

You unlock your phone, finding your messages app and then Keigo’s contact. He’s sent a few texts since the two of you last talked in person (all asking if you’d be willing to sit down and talk) but he hasn’t sent anything in a while. Before you lose the little courage you have, you type out the message and send it.

y/n

can we talk?

Keigo responds almost immediately, and somehow it makes you feel worse about everything.

keigo

Yeah, of course

You tell him to come to the bakery after closing tomorrow, and he says he’ll be there. You put your phone facedown onto your sheets and breathe.

-

The next day isn’t slow and fast. It’s just fucking fast. Fast enough that it seems like only a few hours pass between when you get there and closing, and then you send all of your employees home and you’re wiping down the counters and waiting for Keigo to show up. Because you’re talking to him today. Because you’re going to tell him you love him. Wow.

You’re turning your open sign over so it projects “closed” to the outside world when you see him. He stands outside the doors, watching you watch him, and when you make eye contact with him it’s like a breath of fresh air and pollution all at once. Both of you stay where you’re at, still, until you see him offer a small smile and you don’t feel as tense, not anymore. He opens the door and you move to throw a dirty rag behind the counter.

“Hey,” Keigo says after a moment. He stands in the middle of tables, hands in his pockets, and you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding.

“Hi,” you respond, and God, it’s so awkward. “Um, do you - do you want anything? I could make coffee, or - I have, like, two leftover donuts from today, I know you like them.”

“No, I’m okay. Thanks.”

It’s so awkward. You nod, then gesture to an open booth in the dining area for both of you to sit. Keigo does and you follow, sitting on the opposite side. You get strange deja vu from it. There’s silence for a moment, but then you can’t stop yourself from speaking, opening your mouth a few times to get the right sounds formulated in your head.

“I’m so sorry, Keigo,” you say quietly, meeting his eyes. He looks confused, brows furrowed. “I didn’t mean to - to do this, I never thought I would, I’m just - God, I’m so sorry. I fucked everything up. I did this to us.”

“No, what?” Keigo responds. You fiddle with your fingers on your lap. “This wasn’t just you, what are you talking about?”

Your heart is pounding. You want to look at him, to see him, drink him in because you’re pretty sure it’ll be the last time you’re able to, but tears sting your eyes and you can’t see properly, so you keep your head down. “It was,” you murmur instead, wiping whatever’s slipped out as briefly as you can before looking out the window. The street in front of Angel Cakes is empty. In your peripheral vision you see Keigo tense, lean away from the table between you.

“You have to say it,” he tells you. He knows. He knows, he knows - time moves in slow motion, when you turn your head, when he blinks, the way he sounds when he speaks.

“I love you, Keigo,” you say. It comes out so easily. Too easily. It feels so right to say it, even despite the circumstances.

It’s so quiet. It reminds you of the night of the conference, and you know what’s going to happen. He’ll leave. You know it’s coming, he -

“Really?” Keigo asks, and why is he grinning like that?

“Yeah, I -”

“Holy shit. Holy shit - Y/N, me too. I love you too.”

What?

Keigo laughs like he’s relieved and you can’t move, can’t breathe, all you can do is look at him. He looks so beautiful and you blink yourself out of your trance, licking your lips before you speak again.

“You - too? You feel the same?”

“Yeah. Have for a while.”

A moment passes, but then you furrow your brows - “Why the hell didn’t you say anything? Do you know how much time that could have saved both of us?”

Keigo laughs, and it’s genuine and you know it is because his eyes crinkle at the ends. He shrugs, remnants of a smile still on his lips, when he finally speaks. “I thought you knew, and you didn’t feel the same. I figured that’s why you were acting weird, why you told me to leave after the conference.”

You need to move. You stand up, exit the booth, pace a little before stopping. “No, I…” you pause, running a hand through your hair. “I realized how I felt and thought you didn’t feel the same at all, and I didn’t want to tell you and have it ruin everything, because so much is at stake with your image and the bakery -”

Amidst your ramblings, Keigo had stood up as well, standing in front of you. He shushes you and you let him, looking up at him.

“So what I’m understanding is that we’re both fucking idiots?” He questions, and you let out a breathy laugh. 

“Yeah,” you say, still smiling. “I think so.”

The two of you just stand there for a moment, basking, before the thought hits you: you can kiss him. You could kiss him before, sure, but that was… for his image, for the contract. You can kiss him for you. You can kiss him because you want to.

You barely lean forward, but Keigo seems to get the message. You go slow - you don’t want to scare him away, you don’t want to scare yourself away. You want to remember this forever. But you close your eyes and feel your way through it, sigh when your nose bumps his and then you’re kissing him, for real, for you. And it’s so much better than it ever was before, because you know he loves you, he loves you.

It’s short, but you let yourself sink into it, fall into Keigo like you never let yourself do before. His arms wrap around your waist as yours come around his shoulders and you stay like that for a minute, feeling and breathing and loving, before the two of you break away.

“You’re really good at that, hero,” you say, just like the first time, and Keigo grins. A thought crosses your mind and you take half a step away from him. “So, um, the bakery’s closed, and I was just gonna head home but would - do you - do you want to come with me? To, uh, to my place?”

You’re sure you sound stupid, stuttering and fumbling over your words, but when you meet Keigo’s eyes he looks like he couldn’t be more enthralled by an invitation. So you grab your things and lock up Angel Cakes and the two of you are at your apartment in fifteen minutes flat.

You unlock your door, throw your things down on the couch and turn around to face Keigo, who’s still at the door.

“Be honest,” he starts, “did you bring me here to kill me?”

“Obviously,” you answer quickly, and he laughs and you laugh and it’s so much better than before because he pulls you close again and presses giggly kisses against your lips and you do too. And then giggly kisses turn to kisses, and kisses turn deeper.

They’re deep enough that it’s getting kind of hard to breathe correctly, and when his hands move on you you sigh. He turns his mouth down to kiss at your neck and you swallow, relishing in the feeling of his tongue against your skin, before letting out a hoarse call of “bedroom,” which you feel Keigo grin at.

He stops his assault, though, and lets you lead him to your bed. You gently push him onto it, get him to sit down, then pull away enough to take your shirt off and when it’s off he just stares for a moment. It makes you a bit too aware of the fact that you’re here, with Keigo, and this is very obviously leading somewhere, but then he makes cute grabby hands at you and you giggle as you situate yourself between his legs. 

It takes little time for both of you to strip down completely, never leaving each others’ hold for more than a few seconds. You end up under Keigo as he preps you, curls his fingers into you until you’re mewling and gasping into his open mouth.

“Keigo,” you call, but more to ground yourself. Euphoria shoots from your core to your toes to the top of your head. “Please, I - I need -“

“What do you need, sweetheart?” He’s murmuring, silvertongued and sweet, “I’ll give you anything, just ask.”

A million cheeky responses run through your head but then one of his fingers rubs over your clit and you want to sob. “You. You, Kei, only you, just -“

Keigo groans, pulling his fingers away from you only to mumble a disgruntled “where the hell are the condoms” and when you giggle breathlessly he sends you a playful glare. You reach a blind hand to your bedside table, pull open the drawer with a bang and don’t even bother to shut it after you’ve pulled out a condom. 

He’s quick to put it on (and you pretend you aren’t absolutely mesmerized by his hands as he tears open the package), and once he’s pressed up against your entrance he looks up at you, a lingering question of “you’re sure?” and you nod.

“Love you,” Keigo gasps as he enters you. “God, I love you.”

His words make your heart swell and he pauses, letting you adjust to him before you ease him into a rhythm with a gentle roll of your hips. He feels like honey, warm and slow, taking his time with you and you wouldn’t have it any other way. He feels so good and sounds so beautiful and you love him, you love him, you -

Neither of you are rushing, and there’s no need to. You’re already close, your sighs and whimpers rising. You look up at Keigo and sweat shimmers on him like gold, drenched in the lingering blue light of the sunset - he reminds you of the world. Beautiful and true and glowing. You tell him you’re close and your voice is wrecked with emotion and his eyes are bright, bright.

“Thank god, I was never gonna last long,” he says, and you chuckle as best you can, air stripped from your lungs with every drag of him inside of you. “You drive me crazy.”

One of your hands runs down from around his neck, traces up until it rests on his cheekbone. He looks so gorgeous like this - gentle yet exasperated, hair curling wildly around his face and mouth hung open. He leans into your touch and moves his hips faster, and the one hand that isn’t occupied with touching him runs down between both of your bodies until your own fingers reach your clit, tracing circles until you explode.

Your orgasm rips through you slow and sweet like something you’ve seen coming from miles away. As you come down from your high, Keigo’s just reaching his, and you swear to any deity you can that it’s the most beautiful thing you’ll ever see. His wings unfold and spread in a flash of bright red, eyes clenched shut and he moans, letting himself fall further on top of you. He doesn’t let his entire body weight collapse onto you, and you lazily pull your arms around him as he shudders under your touch. 

The two of you lay there like that for some time, simply basking in each other. Eventually Keigo pulls out of you and disposes of the condom, and the second he gets back into bed he’s curling himself into your arms, burying his face into the crook of your neck. You close your eyes and smile into his hair.

“I love you,” you tell him. “Thank you for letting me love you.”

“You’re welcome,” he responds, and you scoff, but he takes himself out of your neck to look directly at you. “Thank you for giving me a chance to be loved by you,” he says. “You’re all I’ve ever wanted.”

All the colors in your universe appear in him.

[ningningxx]

blueming - choi beomgyu

summary: pre relationship au! m/n is a tired college student that falls in love so easily. beomgyu is the cute barista that he falls for.

word count: 3k

now playing: blueming – iu & i’m so pretty - nature

notes: first in a series

m/n stumbles into his least favorite coffee shop exhausted, with a migraine, clutching an ice pack, and a gloomy disposition, wondering why everyone is so happy. it's not his fault, honestly it's not.

it's minju's.

she dragged him out last night to go shopping, which ended in disaster. he tripped over jewelry laying on the floor, got pushed into a wall and got slapped in the face, hard. not only that, but he got awoken by freaking justin bieber of all things and the starbucks across the street from his study hall is closed, and now he has to run all the way across to the other side of campus just to get a cup of freaking coffee.

wait, he also got knocked out after being hit by a trombone at orchestra practice.

he's internally yelling at minju in his mind before deciding to actually let her know how he feels via a strongly worded text message (she'll probably be fuming that he woke her from her sleep but he's too angry to care) just as he reached the front counter. still pounding away at his phone, he grunts out his order, dropping the exact amount of money for his venti-frappucino-with-three-espresso-shots. yeah, he's definitely not having the best morning.

"sorry, could you repeat that?"

m/n looks up, ready to glare viciously and direct his bad mood at the barista who obviously pays no attention... but instead gapes at him because the barista is actually really cute and damn maybe he's already got a crush. and, oh shit, he's the guy who minju tutors sometimes on weekends.

the barista (beomgyu, m/n remembers) stands there with an uncomfortable smile, awkwardly standing there behind the counter. (m/n would be lying if he said that wasn't one of the cutest things he's ever seen.) "your order?"

m/n gapes a little more before regaining his composure, a polite smile gracing his features. "yeah - right, sorry. um, a venti frappuccino with three espresso shots." he pushes the coins forward, waiting awkwardly.

beomgyu smiles again, this time an actual smile gracing his features (m/n will never admit that he swooned a little), appearing amused if anything. "right," he quickly scooped the change up before yelling behind him. "yein! large frap, three shots!" he registers m/n's change and hands m/n his drink. "thanks for coming to golden swirls! have a great day, m/n-ssi."

m/n blushes because beomgyu actually knows his name and he may or may not be screaming inside because of it. someone behind him coughs, interrupting his inner emotions and m/n is so glad that he's not in high school because he so has a schoolgirl crush.

"thanks- i'll be going-" m/n runs out of the door before he could embarrass himself further, almost dropping his coffee as he goes and accidentally knocking his laptop bag that's swung over his shoulder into the wall outside. he looks at beomgyu through the large window, watching how he serves the next customer before quickly heading off towards his next class.

not even ten seconds later, he's managed to almost break his laptop, spill his coffee over a random stranger and he just wants the ground to swallow him up. his patience has run thin and he finds himself swearing because of how awful this one morning has gone. fuck today, fuck his life, just fuck

.

most of the time, m/n's lucky to have minju in his life. they share an apartment together with minju running a home business as a pastry chef, she helps him with all of his assignments and they've known each other forever. but today, he really hopes that he has awoken her from her sleep (he doesn't want anything horrible to happen to her, he loves her too much) because it's her fault that he's injured. (maybe not completely her fault, not that he'll ever admit it.)

after getting back to the apartment and telling her of his god-forsaken awful day, she has the audacity to laugh.

she laughs so hard that she ends up falling off the couch, her makeup smudging which he's sure she'll be upset about. he doesn't really appreciate that she's laughing and he thinks that maybe he should take photos or a video because she laughs like a horse on crack. he chooses the third option which is attempting to make her spontaneously combust with the power of his glare.

"what the actual fuck." if anything, she laughs even harder and starts rolling around on the floor. he grabs a nearby throw pillow and launches it at her.

(she retaliates, flipping the couch over and them sitting on his back, she tries suffocating him with a surprisingly lethal fluffy cushion.)

after she stops attempting to strangle him and they put their living room back to the original state, they return to their previous conversation. but he immediately wishes that she's still attempting to murder him, because she is smirking. (he's so going to be antagonized for another week)

"so what basically happened, is that you publicly humiliated yourself in front of a cute guy and now you've turned into a weeping willow." she almost bursts out laughing again after her summary, instead pinching his cheek.

m/n immediately recoils, covering his face with another throw cushion. "yes, thank you for reminding me of the possibly most embarassing period of my life."

"you could've been worse. you could've spilled coffee on him, you could've fallen flat on your face as soon as you walked through the door." she laughed while he blushes even harder than he thought possible. (leave it to minju to bring up previous events.)

"i hate you," he manages to squeak out from underneath the pillow, curling in on himself.

"i love you too," she pats his head affectionately. "now i'll order some chinese food and we'll spend the whole night watching cheesy rom-coms while i try to cheer you up with some horrible puns and jokes."

(m/n cracks a smile because he honestly couldn't ask for a better best friend.)

--

after finally managing to finish his music assignment and edit another three essays as well as helping minju with baking cupcakes, m/n skypes kangmin. kangmin (the same person who chose to go in china instead of staying in seoul, the traitor) has been the third member of their group ever since the beginning of elementary as well as the exact reason for m/n's sexuality crisis. (which may or may not have included a temporary relationship and a lot of making out.)

it's not like m/n can hold it against him, but of course he still wonders why all of his friends have to be so damn good looking and adorable.

kangmin, unsurprisingly, doesn't answer the phone the first time but the second time yejin had picked up the call. yejin was the last member of their group and was the most creative and independent of the bunch. she was the first person that m/n had met that he loved within the first five minutes of meeting. of course, sometimes she was over-dramatic and hyperactive but it didn't really matter, she was still one of his best friends.

"hey m/n!" yejin smiled, flashing her pearly whites. "kangmin is currently busy working on that huge programming or digital project that he got a week ago."

yejin faces the camera towards kangmin, showing him with his head in buried in his hands. there were papers strewn all over the desk while his computer was closed. she subtly takes a picture of his distress before tapping him on the shoulder. kangmin's head snaps, a grimace present until his eyes lands on m/n's face appearing.

"m/n!" kangmin yelled, snatching his phone off yejin. ignoring her rude remark, he positions the phone in a way that both yejin and himself appear on the screen while still being close enough to hear. "sorry, i love you but this stupid piece of code is giving the biggest trouble ever and i just can't take it anymore."

he groans dramatically in his hands while yejin rolls her eyes at him, patting his head fondly.

"you'll be fine." she coos at him, rubbing his hair affectionately. "what's up m/n?"

"i may or may not have met someone..." m/n trails off, laughing at their reactions. yejin starts clapping excitedly and squealing while kangmin's head snaps up with a bright smile on his face.

"who is it? it's not that creepy guy in orchestra is it? if it is, you could do so much better.." yejin rants, not stopping even when kangmin covers her mouth with his hand.

"and i may or may not have also embarassed myself in front of him." yejin shuts up straight away, both her and kangmin starting to giggle.

"how bad was it?" kangmin inquires, a cheeky glint in his eye. "falling-flat-on-your-face-bad or peeing-your-pants-because-you're-so-nervous-bad?"

"neither,"

stares.

"maybe worse,"

more stares.

"it was clown-at-kangmin’s-eighth-birthday-bad."

long story short, kangmin’s parents had hired the wrong person and accidentally hired a drug dealer who tried to convince the kids that the cocaine he brought was sherbet. 

kangmin’s parents were mortified at the time but kangmin continues to tell the story whenever he gets the chance.

m/n eventually ends the call because yejin and kangmin are laughing so hard at him and, god, why does everything with him have to be so complicated and embarassing? (he may also have rejected the next two calls, accidentally)

minju, being the absolutely amazing best friend that she is, is so much more helpful than his other two friends. meaning that since she's already laughed at him, she's moved on to the point where she decides that she's going to be a helpful friend.

(m/n shudders at the thought. last time minju decided she was going to be a 'helpful friend', he ended up in the hospital for two weeks and failed two assignments.)

unfortunately, minju turns out to be his only option to call when he sees beomgyu again at the shop.

"please, please, please, come here right now. starbucks is closed, beomgyu's on shift and i need someone here to make sure i don't embarass myself."

turns out, this is the one time that minju isn't available.

"you should've asked me before. i'm too busy. i've got to juggle six different pastry orders and they all have to be done in a couple of hours because i'm catering for a wedding."

well, fuck. m/n looks inside the coffee shop again, noticing that this time beomgyu is looking back at him. beomgyu smiles and waves, while he leans against a broom. m/n can't help but smile back, pocketing his phone and walking through the door.

as soon as he's in the door, he sees the broom that beomgyu is leaning on slips and makes him fall over. he rushes over to beomgyu quickly, helping him back up. beomgyu blushes a bright red while m/n helps him back over to the counter despite being told numerous times that he's fine.

"seriously m/n-ssi, i'm fine." beomgyu giggles. he fucking giggles and suddenly there's a hand on his arm and somehow all the oxygen has left his lungs and why is it so suddenly hot?

"are you sure?" m/n asks again, checking for any injuries. beomgyu nods again, walking awkwardly back behind the counter.

"venti frap, three shots right?" beomgyu's eyes shine, a small blush coating his cheeks. m/n nods, handing over his coins.

beomgyu scoops them up but accidentally drops a few on the ground. after all the coins are picked up, yein suddenly appears by his side with a coffee in her hand.

"smooth move, casanova," she nudges him playfully, before handing the coffee to m/n. beomgyu blushes brightly, moving over to start cleaning the counter.

"thanks, i guess." m/n says awkwardly. "i'll see you later, yeah?"

he runs out the door, waving to them as he goes. he's a few metres away from the coffee shop before he does a happy dance because he didn't embarass himself in front of beomgyu.

(this doesn't erase his bad luck however. he manages to keep his coffee intact, but someone else spilled their coffee on him, he got attacked by a rabid cat and chased by a group of dogs on the way home.)

--

the next time m/n sees beomgyu, it's in the comfort of his own home.

but that doesn't mean, he's ready to face his crush.

m/n's woken up by minju's banshee scream, her high pitched tone filling his entire room. he wishes his first instinct was to cover his own ears but no, his first instinct is to get up and make sure the bathroom door is closed. (every time minju screams, the large mirror in their bathroom 'mysteriously' breaks. and the money that pays for it 'mysteriously' comes out of his own wallet.)

he walks into the living room and he knows he looks like a mess.

his hair is strewn everywhere, making him look like he just got zapped with lightning. he's wearing a plain white shirt but he's only one inside while the other half is wrapped around his shoulder, exposing his lower body. he's also wearing his rainbow briefs while he's got kittens on his socks.

m/n's barely got his other arm in the shirt before he hears a cough behind, where he's met with beomgyu's blushing face.

beomgyu looks like he's trying so hard to look away, he's got his face hidden behind one of his books but his eyes are visible at the top, (it certainly has nothing to do with the way his nose starts to bleed a little) while minju doesn't look much better herself.

she hadn't bothered to brush away her bangs and instead was trying to pour herself a cup of coffee, a large yawn escaping her lips.

"we, meaning me, wants you to make us breakfast," minju speaks like she doesn't know that she just embarrassed m/n in front of his crush. (to her credit, she probably doesn't. she occasionally leaves their apartment half naked because of her tired stupor.)

"uh, r-right." m/n stutters, running back to his room, locking gazes with beomgyu before his door swings shut.

minju eyes him weirdly as he goes. (usually he'd yell at her to stop being lazy and do it herself but he seemed to be too stunned to do anything. she'd have to bring beomgyu around more often.)

"is he okay, minju?" beomgyu puts the book down.

"he'll be fine," minju yawns again, wrinkling her nose. "i've already accomplished my duty as a best friend by bringing you here." she ignored beomgyu's questioning gaze, bringing her mug to her lips.

m/n walks out of his room, looking more presentable but also looking like he was going to cut a bitch. (in every case, minju.)

"give me that," m/n swiped minju's mug from her hands, taking a deep gulp of her bitter coffee. he ignored minju's scathing remark and turned to beomgyu, unstartled. "will pancakes be okay, beomgyu-ssi?" his voice took a much softer tone than when he spoke to minju.

"yes please, and i'd rather you'd just call me beomgyu, m/n-ssi." beomgyu smiled.

"then i would insist that you'd do the same, beomgyu-ah." m/n smiled, shooing minju out of his kitchen and getting the ingredients out.

minju huffs and takes a seat next to beomgyu, crossing her arms.

"are you ready to carry on, beomgyu-ah?" minju asks, wiping her face with a wet wipe.

"gimme a sec," beomgyu rests his head on his arms as he watches m/n move around in the kitchen.

m/n's got his headphones in his ears as he hums delightfully, flipping pancakes with ease. he dances his way around the kitchen, pulling out syrup and strawberries and eating utensils, preparing breakfast with a soft smile on his face.

beomgyu can't help but watch the other male with a dumb smile on his face, not looking away even when there's a steaming hot plate of pancakes in front of him.

"i hope you like them," m/n smiles, taking out his left headphone. he fucking smiles at beomgyu, who feels his entire being heat up. (beomgyu tries to ignore the way his heart pitter-patters in his chest. that traitor.)

when beomgyu takes a bite, he moans in delight. m/n pretends to not notice, shoveling his food in his mouth. (his blush totally does not give him away.)

"so m/n-ah," minju starts, taking back her mug and refilling it. "when's your next class?"

"i'm free today. my chemistry professor called in sick so he just emailed everybody their latest assignments. i'm going to die." m/n cringed, taking a sip of his water.

"i bet physics is looking pretty good right now, huh?" minju had a triumphant look on her face.

"people who take physics usually don't have a life, or friends." m/n flicked her forehead, distracting her long enough to steal her coffee again. "no offense, beomgyu-ah."

"none taken, m/n-ah." beomgyu shrugged his shoulders. "what do you study?"

"i'm making my life hard by majoring in dance with a minor in chemistry." m/n put his two thumbs, his entire being oozing with sarcasm. "commuting to two different campuses four times a week, what fun."

"that's like me!" beomgyu's eyes were a little wider. "i'm a vocal major with a minor in physics. moving between the two campuses is such a pain."

"does that mean you know soobin-hyung? i think he's a vocal major as well?" m/n asks.

"bunny-hyung?" beomgyu's eyes glaze over in realization. "he takes care of me, you know, being one year older. does that mean you're friends with yeonjun-hyung? he still owes me twenty dollars."

"soobin-hyung owes me fifty!" m/n almost yells. "but it's okay because he buys me lunch every other day."

"oh my god, they're perfect for each other." beomgyu rolls his eyes, stabbing his pancake with his fork.

"they're disgusting. i hate seeing them meet up, like they haven't seen each in a million years when in reality it's been like four hours." m/n agrees, wrinkling his nose.

minju looks between the two males, wondering how they could be so oblivious towards one another.

"they're idiots. idiots who hopelessly crush on each other." minju complained under her breath. she held up her phone, pretending to use it as a mirror, only to snap a pic of m/n and beomgyu interacting with each other, bright smiles on both of their faces.

m/n briefly looked at her, a weird look on his face.

"you'll thank me later." she smiled innocently, tapping her phone with a wink.

[justcallmenikki7]

Afternoon Surprises

Pairing: Min Yoongi x Reader

Summary: you won an afternoon with the biggest boy band in the world, but winning an afternoon with them seemed fabulous, but winning a date with a rapper was even better.

Warnings: fluff, fluff, fluff

Notes: another update? I’m surprised too.

Request: Hello. Thank you for your amazing work! I'd like to request something. The reader won an afternoon or evening with bts and they get along super well. And one of them (preferably yoongi) would really like to get to know the reader better and so they get close. Thank you again and I hope you have a really nice day! Love and greetings from Germany :-)

Notes pt2: OMG!! I have a reader from Germany? This is amazing! I did not think that anyone from other countries would be reading my works! This is an honor it feels like. Thank you lovely for reading my works! This makes me wonder where all of my supporters of from!   ~Love and thanks from USA :-) <3

That rainy Monday in junior year, the first time ever hearing of BTS, you were hooked. That was in 2015, two years after they first debuted, and the first time your friend had shown you them. To be honest, you were not into KPOP, but for some reason, BTS intrigued you. You never knew way, it could have been their passion for music and dancing, or their personalities, or just how intriguing they were. They were different from all of the other KPOP bands your friend has shown you, and you have always loved different.

Four years later, the love for BTS has never faded. You were always up to date, or tried to be, on them. You were not like one of those sasaeng fans, or the obsessed fans that you have seen. Of course, you did fan girl if you saw them on tv (sometimes exaggerated when your cousin was around you), and you did use memes of them in conversations with your best friend just to mess with her. You do know that the memes always made her day, in her words, ‘one of the unique things about you.’

So, the day when BigHit did a special contest, the reward the person winning having the chance to spend one day with BTS exclusively, you of course signed up. You are definitely no heathen. The night you signed up, you went to bed playing different scenarios on winning. It took two days on BigHit getting back to you, and you dreaded on opening the email. You had the thought on not getting the chance to win, knowing that the email could be a possible ‘thank you for signing up, but I hate to inform you that you did not win,’ kind of one.

That is why when you saw the ‘Congratulations!’ on your phone screen, you almost pissed yourself. You could not contain the excitement that you felt, having the urge to call your best friend and scream into the phone the whole time. That night, you were pretty sure that your best friend went to bed with a blown ear drum. You reread the email at least fifteen times, letting the realization that you will be meeting the seven dwarfs who have helped you through the both bad and good times.

“Holy fucking shit.” Was the first thing you said when you pulled up to a very expensive hotel in your city. It was so nice, and so classy that you felt intimidated. Of course, you have stayed in the ‘Holiday Inns’ and had considered those to be classy, but this, right in front of you, is a new kind of classy.

The man in the black suit opened your door, helping you step out of the limousine, before shutting the door behind you. He then led you inside the hotel, chuckling at your ‘awe’ expression by everything that you saw. But the chuckles that followed his chuckle was what made you freeze in your spot. You recognize those chuckles.

Turning around, you felt the urge to cry.

There stood in all of their glory was the seven saving graces that you have been wanting to meet for the last four years. The fangirl inside of you was overpowered by the overwhelming emotions you were feeling.

“Oh my gosh,” you gasped out, not knowing how to react.

You could hear their chuckles, something that made you relieved. This was a sign from them that was basically silently said by them ‘this is a normal thing for us.’

“I’m so sorry, I just love you guys so much. And like, I—”

“- Love, it’s okay. Don’t apologize.” Hoseok reassured you, coming over to you to hug you. “Jungkook felt the same way when he met IU.” He chuckled, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“Hyung!!” Said boy whined, “Don’t call me out like that.” He pouted. Jungkook’s reaction had you laughing and shocked. Shocked because you never thought you would be able to witness this side of him in person. You have been so used to seeing him do this kind of reaction over youtube videos and fan made videos, that the real thing is so much better. Turning to look at you, Jungkook gave you his famous bunny smile, “Hi! You must be Y/N! I’m Jungkook, but you must already know that.”

“H-Hi,” you stuttered out. “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry.”

“Hey, stop saying sorry. You have nothing to be sorry about,” a cool, calming tone demanded you. Looking towards the person who said this, you saw Min Yoongi giving you a teasing demanded look.

Clapping his hands, Namjoon got everyone’s attention. “Alright, how does lunch sound? We have the whole day, and let’s start it off by getting to know one of our biggest fans!”

When you guys got to the restaurant, you automatically felt out of placed. You insisted on having the boys take you to McDonald’s or even Taco Bell, but both Jungkook and Taehyung were very persistent on this place because of the reviews that they heard.

“You seem very surprised,” Namjoon spoke beside you, a small smile on his face.

“That’s an understatement,” you laughed, looking up at the tall man. “It’s very … classy.” You said in awe, looking around at everything, trying to take in what you are seeing and ingraining it in your memory as best as you can.

“She’s so cute, Hyung.” Jimin giggled next to Hoseok, a goofy smile on his face.

Blushing, you tried to hide behind your hair. You could not believe that you are actually in the presence of your idols. This whole ordeal seems so unreal, so dream like to you. Lost in your thought, you did not notice a presence beside you, that is until you felt a hand on your shoulder.

Looking up, you were met with a concerned looking Min Yoongi. “You okay?” He asked you, concern laced in his tone.

“Yeah, I’m just still in shock. It seems so unreal.” You told him in honesty, not losing eye contact with the older male (he’s only older by three years).

“Well, it seems unreal to meet someone as beautiful as you.” He confidently said, a smirk on his face when he saw you blush.

“Oh,” you were lost for words, taken back by the compliment – especially one from the one and only Min Fucking Yoongi.

“Guys!” Jin yelled, catching everyone’s attention, “We got our table!”

Shaking your head, you tried to get yourself composed before following the boys, not noticing the rappers stare. As you were walking, someone threw their arm around your shoulders.

“Ahh, young love,” Taehyung spoke, pulling you into his side, “it’s so magical.” He smiled down at you with his boxy grin.

“What do you mean?” You asked, giving the taller boy a confused look.

“Noona will just have to wait and see,” the maknae teased beside you giving Taehyung a knuckle punch.

Sitting you down at the table, the two boys sat beside you, making you even more confused. Yoongi sat right in front of you, smirking at you.

The rest of the lunch resulted in you telling the boys about yourself, answering their questions, and was loaded with laughter. Once lunch was over, the boys decided on taking you to an amusement park, something that was encourage by the maknae line. On the way there, Yoongi walked beside you, asking you questions about your favorite taste in music. The both of you found out that you two have the similar taste in music, something that had the both of you getting excited about the fact. As you and Yoongi were talking about music, you two did not notice the six boys cooing and making kissy faces at you both.

“Wait, you used to sing at your old job? But I thought you said that you used to be a waitress?” Yoongi questioned, giving you a confused look.

“I was a waitress, but my boss allowed me to sing, which brought more customers in.” You cleared up, “the people loved it.” You smiled, reminiscing.

“That’s awesome!” Yoongi gave you a gummy smile, making you smile back at him, not being able to resist his contagious smile. “Would you like to do a song with me?”

Feeling confident, “is that your way for asking me out on a date?” You teased, butterflies filling your stomach.

Smirking, Yoongi pushed his shoulders back, gaining confidence in himself, “Yes, it is.”

Smiling at him, you nodded your head, “Then yes, I would love to do a song with you. Or, go on this date with you.”

The both of you were too distracted by smiling at one another with huge grins on your faces to hear the boys rooting on the both of you.

[kpopnonous]

Forever Young | Yoongi x Reader

WARNING: angst, death, sadness,suicide, mentions of sexual activities, cyber bullying.

COUNT: 1.94K

“example of the past/memory”

“example of the lyrics”

“example of the present/now”

So are you happy now?

Finally happy now, yeah?

"Yoongi! Stoooopppp!" You said giggling as you felt his slender fingers running along the side of your ribs

The man looked at you and smile, wholeheartedly, before hugging you.

"If I stop loving you, then I'd be broken" You blushed at his words.

Yoongi always had away with words, even if he didn't put any thought to it, you'd always have a wholesome reaction to them.

You leaned forward and kissed his lips. In return, he did the same as he laid you down to show you just how much he loves you.

Yoongi sat in the front row, holding the boy's hand tightly. Trying to hold himself together.

"You look lovely," He told her. He could faintly see the smile on her face. He moved his finger to put a strand of hair behind her ears.

"Thank you for making me feel loved," She told him, as she lightly kissed his cheeks.

뭐 그대로야 난 다 잃어버린 것 같아

( Well, I’m exactly the same )

( I think I’ve lost everything )

You sat there, reading the comments under your music video that you've released. Being a singer wasn't an easy job. It's even harder when you're dating one of the biggest singers in both Kpop and the International industry.

The comments weren't as positive as you expected it to be. They weren't even talking about the music, they were talking about your relationship with Yoongi. Most saying you're only with him because of his fame, money, and exposure.

It hurts to see that your ' fan base ' can say that they love you but then leave negative comments when they've found out who you've been seeing.

It's not like you're now dating him, you've been dating him for two years but decided to make your relationship public in January, to start the new year off with a positive note, but sadly you were failed.

You cried and cried and cried. Reading every single one until one of the comments really get to you. They were speaking about your ex-relationship, with your ex-boyfriend, who used to constantly abuse you, and rob you of your money.

In March, he made claims stating that you were the abusive one in the relationship and would steal his money for your own personal use. He made those accusations on social media. The matter is still being taken care of in court.

You saw a message from Yoongi, his words trying to comfort you as he can't be with you physically due to being stuck in Korea.

You didn't bother replying. You lay in your bed thinking about what you could have done differently.

A week later, it was April the 4th, the day when BTS would be coming back in the states to visit. You were excited to meet them, especially Yoongi. You needed to feel his hands, his hugs, his mouth on you

You quickly got dressed and headed to the boys house. You bought foods for them.

As you reach the door, you ran quickly to knock on it, you saw Jin first, then greeted them all one by one, leaving Yoongi for last. You walked up to him and hugged him tightly. Feeling the tears spill from your eyes.

He hugged you back tightly as if you'll leave him. You pulled him to your lips and kissed him with Passion as you can hear all the groans and disgust from the boys.

He broke the kiss and says "Lets take this upstairs yeah?"

"Okay," you said as you both head to the room to begin your lovemaking.

Later in the night, you woke and removed the sleeping Yoongi's arms away from you. You got up and grabbed a piece of paper and start writing down words. Words that you feel emotionally.

After you were done you put the note on the desk, went into your bag for some pills and took them. You then went back to bed, kissed his forehead, and went back to sleep.

Yoongi woke up the next morning, smiling as he remembers last night's activities. He pulled your body closer to him as he rests his face into your neck.

"Morning," he said, as he kissed your neck, but you didn't move. He poked your shoulder but you still didn't move.

He raised his body and laid you on your back.

"Hey, Y/N, wake up" But there was no response. He shook your body lightly, then harsh. His eyes started to water at the ideas in his mind.

"HEY HEY WAKE UP PLEASE WAKE UP!" He kept yelling trying to get your body to move, but was disappointed.

Hoseok who was doing a Vlive, saw the comments asking what was the loud noises coming from, he decided to get up and check to see its coming from Yoongis room.

"Y/N GET UP!" Hoseok opened Yoongi's door to see him shaking you roughly and crying. He walked up to him to see you lifeless.

He quickly realized what was going down and went to call the other boys.

The rest of the boys came into the room and saw what was happening, Jin and Namjoon trying to pry Yoongi off of you, Hoseok and Taehyung crying as they try to wake you up, Jimin standing in shock and Jungkook next to the desk with tears into his eyes. He saw the letter and handed it to Yoongi who grabbed it. He opened the letter and read it. After he finishes he burst out in tears for he felt guilt for not helping you.

모든 게 맘대로 왔다가 인사도 없이 떠나

( Everything comes at will and leaves without a goodbye )

The news broke out later that evening. Some fans and news reporters we're following the boys into the hospital. They even bribe the staff for some information.

Yoongi sat in the music studio, writing words after words trying to find the lyrics to make with his new collaboration.

He's trying to find the words to fit the beat of that song and to express how he feels.

' I really love the beat for love yourself! ' he remembers you telling him that. Then instantly words started flowing out, one after the other.

After 5 hours, of writing the lyrics. He emailed the song to the artist that you loved. He knew that you would have loved the song because he made it, he made it because of you. He closes his eyes, thinking about how you would smile whenever you saw his face, he smiled lightly at the memory.

But the smile vanishes quickly as he remembers what happened to you.

"Happy birthday Yoongi!" Everyone said as they watch the gummy smile appear.

You walked up to him and kissed his surprised but smiley face.

"How did you?"

"I have my ways"

Walking into the park, to have a nice quiet evening. You and Yoongi sat on the bench and watch the two couple play with their daughter

"Hmm, when we get older you think we will have a girl?" You asked smiling at the scene.

Yoongi soon joined your reaction and says

"A girl? Please it's going to be a boy"

After winning the AMA, Yoongi quickly rushed the boys to go home so that he could celebrate with you.

"Hyung! Stop rushing! I didn't get to say Hi to Nicki Minja!" Jungkook exclaimed with a whine.

"See you wouldn't understand, what i feel, you'll forever be lonely."

Lonely

That's the one word that hunts him now. He's lonely lost without you. Pathetic.

"Sir I’m sorry, but the autopsy says from a drug overdose. I’m sorry for your losses." The doctor told Yoongi as he keeps breaking down.

Namjoon looked at the doctor confused

"Wait losses?"

The Doctor looked confused for a bit

"You didn't know? She was three weeks pregnant"

The boys were in shock when they heard the news, they all looked at Yoongi who cried even harder when he heard the news.

이대로는 무엇도 사랑하고 싶지 않아

( I don’t want to love anything like this )

"Uh hey vlive how are you?" The boys ask as they made a vlive. The fans noticed the change in the boy's mood. They answered the fans questions about new music and etc. Yoongi mostly zoned out of the whole live until a question came up

'Where's Y/N? Doesn't she lives with you guys? Did her and Yoongi broke up?" That fan must have been clueless as to what took place. The boys looked at Yoongi sadly as he leaned forward towards the camera.

"She was killed by society." A few people have been asking as to what he meant, the ones who know what happened, made comments about how they are sorry and how you shouldn't have been through that.

다 해질 대로 해져버린 기억 속을 여행해

( It’s all done as it gets dark. )

( Travel in the memory )

He got up and left the room, making the boys end the vlive.

Yoongi hugged IU, she smiled sadly at his figure. Small, paler than usual.

"Im sorry for what happened." He smiled at her since she understands and feels what he is feeling since she has lost 3 people she loved a lot.

"Im glad I’m working with you on this." She replied as she patted his back.

"Me too."

He sees you in a white flowery dress, hair loose as the breeze plays with your hair.

He sees your smile, that lovely smile of yours. That smile that could melt away his cold heart.

"What are you doing over there?! Come here!" You shouted to him in a cheerfully  as you put out a hand for him to grab.

He walks closer to you, grabbing your hand. You ran, tugging his hand with you, giggling crazily.

"You're crazy!"

우리는 오렌지 태양 아래 그림자 없이 함께 춤을 춰

( Under an orange sun ) We dance with no shadows )

"And yet you love me!" You said sliding down the hill with him holding onto your waist.

When the ride had ended you pulled him up and ran to the river, Han's river. The first time you guys met.

"For once I’m actually happy," You said as you looked out into the river.

"Hmm? For what?"

정해진 이별 따위는 없어 아름다웠던 그 기억에서 만나

(There is no such thing as decided farewells) ( Meet me in that memory that was once beautiful )

"For you. You were like a gift to me. You've helped me when I thought I've given up. You showed me love, care, and affection. You and the boys. I’m grateful to have people like you guys into my life."Smiles. That's all you've been doing. Smiling.

He runs up to you and holds your face. He looks into your eyes and cries all of the pain out.

"If I had known you were hurting. . . "

All you did was just keep smiling. That’s one thing Yoongi admires about you. How you could smile through the pain

Forever we young

"If you had known, you would have been hurting too. I didn’t want you too. I wanted you to think I was fine. But just remember I love you." You said as you kissed his cheeks. You turned away and waked away from him.

"Wait wait!!"

He opens his eyes and looked around, confused as to what's going on, then smiled at the memory, then angry at what had happened.

He decided to visit the Jamwon Park were you guys last met in Korea before you left. He found a bench and sat on it where you guys normally sit. He looked to the left and saw one of your favorite flowers dancing with the winds.

He smiled as he remembers a few things. One of them is a quote you've said.

"People maybe went, but they always leave traces of themselves behind."

He closes his eyes as he can feel your kisses from the breeze. He opened his eyes and smile, as he will never forget the romance you both shared, for he will always love your existence and for what you had taught him.

이런 악몽이라면 영영 깨지 않을게

( If it is this kind of nightmare, I won't ever wake up)

I hope you guys enjoy this. I’ve been debating if I should post this or due to you know. I love both IU(i fucking love her) and SUGA.(yeah we all know that I admire him) I also admire and respect the one’s who helped create this song. I’ve been looking up to them since their debuted. (i grew up with kpop). Please don’t resolve to this. Seek help.Your actions can affect the one’s who loves you.

masterlist

[justjeonday]

eternal you┆min yoongi

With you gone, the ground under Yoongi’s feet seems to be crumbling, the color in his life fading as the days without you go by. The only thing left to keep him going are the memories he made with you, sunday mornings, exchanged smiles, fingers skimming over soft skin, lazy kisses, nights spent by Han River. To these moments, he travels to see you again - to exist in the utopia that was you once more.

— song; eight - IU ft. SUGA ( i listened to this piano cover)

— pairing; min yoongi x dead!reader

— WC; 5.9K

— genre; a lot of angst with hints of fluff, idol!au, husband!yoongi, dead!wife!reader

— rating; PG/PG13

— warnings; sad yoongs :(, mentions of death, descriptions of mild depression??, lucid dreaming or something, overall there’s nothing that graphic it’s just sad :((

— notes; this took me so long to finish and at this point i’m not even sure what this was supposed to be but i hope you enjoyyy <33 

— thank you to @tigertaehyunq, dear Penny, for reading this through and helping me along the way <3

gif found here.

(not fully edited)

The sky, once blue and pretty, has become gray and monochrome.

The world around Yoongi has turned cold, dull. All he sees is grey, ashes of what once was happiness, of what once was love. Since you’ve been gone, everything around him has turned somber, days at work filled with insincere empathy and shallow ‘how are you’’s.

The utopia that came with knowing you, being in your presence, that was made up of the memories you two created together - that was made up of you and him - now broken, shattered into thousands of pieces.

Yoongi has tried, more times than he can count, to pick them up one by one and put them together, but the biggest and most significant piece - you - is gone. All he has left are the memories, the times he got to spend with you and the things you did together, the important yet all too small pieces to patch it all back up.

These only make up half of his heart. The rest is hollow - empty because you’re no longer there.

He sighs as he pushes the door to your apartment open, almost expecting to see you on the couch typing away on your laptop, your eyes leaving your screen to look up at him with a smile - arms reaching out for him to come embrace you. But you’re not there.

The space is dark and the couch is cold and empty. It’s quiet, no TV playing on a low volume in the background like it always used to since you hated the silence that surrounded you when you were home alone, no dancing lights flickering across the surfaces in its reach.

You’re gone.

The apartment almost feels foreign to him, nowhere near entire without your presence. Yoongi has never considered his home to be a place - not since he first fell in love with you. The meaning of home changed completely when he first realized he loved you. Ever since then, it’s never been a space - never just walls and a roof.

Home was you.

It was your embrace, the warmth of your body radiating against his own as you held him tight - your fingertips skimming over the skin at the back of his neck, coming up to brush through the hair at his nape. It was your eyes and the way they lit up as you smiled at him. Home was the sweet nothings you whispered into his ear just before you fell asleep, it was your laugh and the feeling of your lips against his; the taste of your favorite lip balm.

He releases a broken chuckle at the thought, the sound shattering the silence around him. Your damn lip balm. It tasted of coconut, pleasantly so - he must admit - and it was a sweet tang lingering on his lips after you kissed him, the trace of you remaining on them in a way that made his heart flutter, but oh how he disliked it sometimes. He didn’t like how it took away from the raw feeling of your lips pressed against his. But it was so incredibly and typically you. You carried that lip balm around wherever you went, saying you wanted your lips to be soft when he kissed you.

He didn’t care about that. He never did.

Yoongi feels his heart break, again - like it did earlier today when he woke up, and yesterday, and multiple times the day before that day. How much is there left to break before it all gets too much, before it’s too broken to continue on beating?

He stands still as the door falls shut with a click behind him, his gaze falling from the couch down to his feet as he lets his head hang low, chin pressed against his sternum, a hand placed on the wall next to him - scared the ground underneath him is gonna crumble. He’s scared, as it all comes crashing down on him, after being able to keep it inside at work, containing the emotions all he could, hiding behind fake smiles. Only by filling his schedule to the point of exhaustion being able to distract himself from a wandering mind, from the truth - the hurt.

As the clock turns four, he looks up from his notepad feeling numb but expects to be able to breathe out and relax after days of hard work - yet he can’t. His breath is shallow as he collects his things in the studio, shallow as he gets into his car and drives home, thinking maybe, just maybe he’ll be able to breathe when he gets home. But still, as he steps inside the door, his breath only reaches his throat.

Because, to him, there is no home anymore. Without you, there is no place for him to breathe out, your arms no longer reaching out to welcome him home. Without you, he’s lost - astray with nowhere to go.

Yoongi feels as if he hasn’t been able to breathe out since he got that call - since he found out you were gone. It feels like the oxygen doesn’t reach his lungs, as though his breaths are empty, as if every time he inhales it's a waste of air.

Now that he’s in the apartment, silence and dark surrounding him, it leaves too much space for roaming thoughts. Too much room for longing and remembering, eyes involuntarily traveling to find everything that reminds him of you. He can’t stand it - the silence is much too loud.

He needs it to stop, yearns for the pain to numb until he can’t feel anything anymore. Hoping things will get better feels like sitting in a car at a broken stoplight - stuck on red.

He feels exhausted, like the weight of the world is pushing down on his shoulders. He finds himself at times, silently praying it’s all a nightmare; a painful dream his mind has created - that he’ll wake up soon enough to feel you snuggling into his chest, warm breath fanning across his bare skin.

It feels surreal, that you’re not here anymore; that you’re simply gone.

He still expects to wake up in the middle of the night, cold and shivering because you stole the covers all for yourself. As his alarm goes off in the morning, he awakes awaiting you to release a groan at the annoying sound before holding him tight, not wanting him to leave for work and let the bed turn cold next to you.

Yoongi sighs, standing up straight before kicking his shoes off. He walks further in, making his way straight towards the bedroom - leaving the rest of the apartment untouched like it has been since you were here last. He keeps his gaze down by his feet, lethargy following his every step.

He can’t bring himself to glance into the kitchen, knowing your favorite coffee cup is gonna be on the counter - left there in your hurry to work like it always was. He doesn’t wanna see the note you had left him on the fridge, the one he was reading with a smile on his lips just minutes before the world came crashing down on him - before the light broke.

He still remembers every word on that piece of paper.

‘Hi, my love~

I’ll be getting off work earlier today, would you perhaps want to take a walk to Han River and watch the sky with me?

Imagine this; you, me, some fried chicken, soju, and a sunset - sounds pretty great right?

I’ll call you as soon as I can.

Sincerely, always yours.‘

He stood by that counter with the note in his hand, the biggest smile on his face as if he was a teenager who got a yes from his crush. He felt so incredibly full of love at that moment, his heart warm and fluttering as he chuckled at your lame way of asking him on a date.

Despite the long day at work, filming for their variety show at multiple locations, producing music, he felt energetic as he read the note - excited to be able to spend some time with you.

But it only lasted a short while. The warmth - the fluttering. His heart skipped a beat in his chest as his phone started ringing, expecting to see your name on the display as he grabbed it from his pocket. He was met with an unknown number, feeling his heart drop for a reason he had yet to know. Something felt wrong.

It’s probably nothing, right?

“Hello?” He answered, eyes wandering as he waited for an answer.

Right?

“Hello, this is a call from Asan Medical Center in Seoul” a woman spoke at the other end of the line, “am I speaking to Min Yoongi?”

His eyebrows knitted together in concern. “Yes?”

“Your wife has been in a terrible traffic accident, we rushed to the scene as quickly as we could but we’re sorry to inform you she didn’t make it.”

His breath hitched in his throat as the woman spoke, his hands trembling and knuckles turning white as he gripped his phone harder.

“No,” he said in disbelief, “no, she can’t be-”

“I’m so so sorry, Sir - we couldn’t save her, she passed away at the scene. Her injuries were far too severe.”

Yoongi wasn’t able to hear the last few words clearly, the woman’s voice becoming distant as his head started spinning, his knees going weak underneath him - causing him to slide down the side of the counter until he was seated against the floor.

“Sir?”

He let his hand fall limp against the floor, his phone falling along with it - eyes staring blankly before him.

That was the moment his world was flipped upside down, when everything fell apart. It was the moment when the paradise that was you, that was constant, broke, and fell to pieces right in front of him.

The painful memory is etched into his mind and trying to forget it has ended up useless - it plays on repeat whenever it gets too quiet, whenever there’s room for losing himself in the intrusive thoughts that roam his mind.

He sometimes wonders how much you were hurting, praying that you didn’t have to suffer for too long.

He trudges in the dark, entering the bedroom and naturally making his way over to the left side of the bed; his side. He falls back against the mattress after shrugging his coat off, a huff of air escaping him as his back hits the surface. It feels too big, too empty; too cold. The smell of you still lingers on the fabric, and he relishes in it - closing his eyes to let his mind picture you laying right there next to him, heat radiating from you and mattress sinking at his side.

That was the last way he saw you, the last way he felt you close, after all. As his alarm sounded through the room that same day his world turned dark, the sun was already up - shining in through open blinds the two of you forgot to pull down the night before. After silencing the sudden sound, he turned to you and saw the way you frowned, stirring from your sleep.

It was like any other day, waking up and looking over at you only to be embraced as you awakened. He saw you like that every day, and you always looked so beautiful. Your hair falling over your pillow, your eyebrows furrowing at the alarm, your lips parted ever so slightly - eyes fluttering as you stirred awake beside him.

The way the sun hit your skin that day took his breath away, he could lay there for hours just admiring your beauty - the way you glowed, your skin golden on top of white sheets.

You must be an angel; his angel.

Closing his eyes to imagine you next to him still, has become a habit he can’t break - only minutes after falling asleep to enter a state, a utopia where hurt no longer exists, in which the word goodbye is no longer known.

A place in which you are eternal.

Yoongi finds himself staring into a void as his subconscious stirs to life, body still numb - limp against the cold bed. Having done this control-your-dream thing a couple of times now, he’s gotten pretty good at having his way with the dream.

He had read about it just days after you passed, the need to see you filling every part of his being. He had read the instructions carefully, but skipped the paragraph about any possible side effects - he couldn’t care less, he just needed to see you.

He needs to see you happy. He needs to make sure you’re okay, and that every time you fade, every time he awakes to reality - there’s a smile on your lips.

He figured the void had become his side effect, the emptiness, the cold - it scared him.

He tries to control his mind, concentrating on imagining a place where you’d feel the happiest. You loved sitting by the Han River with him, watching the sunset flipping through soft pages of your favorite books. Yoongi smiles, mind going back to your letter. Your last written words.

‘You, me, fried chicken. soju, and a sunset - sounds pretty great, right?’

He wants to take you there. He knows how much you looked forward to it, always cherished the time off of work the two of you had together - you made sure it was special, every moment of it.

You loved the sky, he always wondered how you were content just sitting under it and admiring its beauty for hours on end. You were one of those people who believed the theory that ‘looking at the sky seven times a day will make you happier’. Maybe it was true. He could count on two hands all the times you were negative since he met you all those years ago - perhaps the sky made you feel more positive, happier.

Yoongi arises from the void, a groan leaving his lips at the uncomfortable and solid ground underneath him. His eyes flutter open, squinting slightly at the sudden yet soft brightness of the sun shining his way - creating an orange glow in the world around.

The bustling sound of Seoul resonates through the atmosphere, groups of people scattered around the patches of green and on steps of cement along Han river - a soft beat from a nearby cafe playing in the background. He notices the smell of coffee and flowers lingering in the air as he breathes in.

It all feels so real, almost too real.

His hands come up to run over his face, rubbing the sleep from his eyes and attempting to adjust to the light before he opens them again. Looking to his right, he sees you sitting next to him on the picnic blanket placed underneath the both of you. You’re clad in your favorite dress; a loose, white dress with daisies on it.

He’s dreaming again.

You’re here.

He’s finally able to breathe properly, the air feels light rather than heavy in his lungs. You look so beautiful, still unaware he’s admiring you. You stay seated with legs folded in front of you, your skin glowing as you read your book, flipping the pages as a soft and pleasant breeze blows through your locks. The orange sun creates a golden aura that glows around your frame, making his heart skip a beat at the beauty that is you.

It’s the first time he’s seen you here since a week before you passed, it makes him want to shout in happiness and pain all at the same time.

Trying to gain full control of the dream, Yoongi pushes the thoughts of pain away as best he can - but he feels them linger, holding onto him. He focuses on you, relaxing in your presence - feeling that sense of utopia you brought to anyone you held dear to your heart.

You shine - so bright. He swears you’re as bright as the sun. Brighter, even.

The sun. That’s what you were. His sun, his warmth, the light that brightened and lit his path, showed him the way home. With you, winter didn’t feel so cold - night never seemed too dark.

Yoongi was always a little afraid of the dark before he met you. You had laughed at him when he said he slept with a light on. He always had, ever since he was little. But with you, there was no need. You’re his safe haven - his glow in the dark.

A blissful sigh slips past his lips at the sight of you, the feeling of having you in his reach again. He misses you so much.

He can’t help but bring a hand up to lay it over the small of your back, thumb tracing circles over the fabric of your dress. You turn at the touch, looking up from your book to notice he’s awake.

“Hey you,” you smile at him. “You fell asleep for a bit.”

He just hums in response, turning to his side and reaching his arms out to you with a pout forming on his lips - beckoning you to fall into his embrace. You chuckle softly at him before putting your book down, making sure not to lose the page you’re on before laying down in his arms.

“I missed you,” you say against his neck, turning the both of you so you end up on top of him.

I missed you.

A phrase he constantly heard from you. Always. Even after a quick trip to the store, no more than twenty minutes, he’d come home to you telling him how much you missed him while reaching your arms out to embrace him. When waking up, you’d turn to him and tell him that same thing - even though he’d been right there next to you in bed all night.

It was something so simple, three words put together into something that made his heart spread with warmth, that were said over and over, to you as important as a hello - yet they meant so much to him. As he time and time again is hit with the realization he’ll never hear those words again, his heart breaks impossibly further.

“You always say that,” Yoongi groans as you shift on top of him. “I’ve been right here all along.”

You chuckle at his words, leaving a kiss by his exposed collarbone just next to the collar of his shirt before laying your head down on his chest. “But still,” you mumble, “I didn’t get to talk to you or kiss you.”

He scoffs before letting out a chuckle, his chest vibrating under you. “You’re weird.”

“No,” you pout, “I’m in love with you.”

The deepest parts of his heart turn pink with love, growing like wildfire until his whole chest is painted.

Oh, he loves you so.

Seoul sounds at a soft volume around you as you breathe each other in. Your eyes are fixed on the orange and pink hues of the sky, following fluffy clouds as you feel yourself relax against your lover’s body - his chest falling up and down slowly as he breathes - lulling you to a state of tranquility.

“I miss you too,” Yoongi says, his voice just above a whisper - the words only for your ears to hear.

You smile and lay your arms over his chest in front of you, propping your chin upon them as you look into his eyes, trying to read him and his reason for the unusually affectionate words told to you.

“You’re just saying that so I don’t feel bad,” you snicker.

“I’m not,” he defends, showing no signs of being anything less than serious, eyes locked with yours as his fingers brush a strand of hair behind your ear. “I miss you so much.”

You find his words rather strange, considering the circumstances. Having been by his side for several years, you’ve come to know him inside out - and you know he prefers showing his love and appreciation towards you through actions, whether small or big, rather than using words. That’s just how he is.

Now and then, he’ll take you out on a date, and on those special occasions he’ll tell a few words but that’s it; and that’s enough. He doesn’t have to do more than that for you to know. You’re aware he loves you just as much as you love him, even though he might not voice it as often - and you know that just as thankful you are to have him, he is to have you.

Showing it, he does in the smallest ways. When he reaches for you first thing in the morning, calls you to ask if you want anything from the store when he’s on his way home, mindlessly running his fingers along your skin as you sit close watching the sunset, placing soft kisses on your shoulder as you count stars after the blanket of night is thrown over the world - him, the moon and its stars left your only light in the dark.

He occasionally makes you dinner or buys you a new book, saying ‘it’s nothing’ as you thank him, which you’ve learned is code for ‘I wanted to show you how much I appreciate you’. These actions, yet so simple and small, mean just as much to you as the few times he’s said the words out loud.

To speak them this casually, sitting by Han River with people around, with tired eyes and lazy kisses, is not like him at all.

Yoongi, however, is aware this is temporary - a mare dream in his head. He knows this is far from what his reality has now become without you, that you’ll be gone again when he wakes up in your bedroom, in a bed turned cold.

But he’s willing to take the pain of that realization again if it means he gets to see you - if it means he can feel you next to him again. If it means he gets to show you how much he loves you just once more before he has to wake up to the nightmare that has become his life, then he’ll do it all over again.

He wants to say to you what he didn’t have the chance to, wants to show you how much you mean to him every moment that allows him to.

Yoongi feels a tear escape his eye and roll down his cheek as he’s brought back to the present, looking at you through blurred vision; admiring every beautiful feature. You notice it as it sparkles in the sun, turning golden as though there’s sweet honey running down his skin.

“My love,” you whisper, your heart squeezing at the sight of him sad, “what’s wrong?”

He shakes his head at your question, bottom lip quivering slightly.

“Don’t be sad,” you say softly, fingers brushing through the hair behind his ear.

“I’m not sad, I just-” he inhales a shaky breath, wiping the stray tear away as a small smile tugs at the corners of his mouth, “I’m just happy you’re here with me.”

A slight frown settles across your features, your fingertips running over his face softly, skimming from his cheekbone down to his bottom lip - your eyes following in its trail before looking into his warm brown ones, creating their own sunset as the sky reflects in them.

“I’ll always be here.”

His heart feels heavy as he hears your words, knowing that in reality, it’s not completely true. He knows he’ll wake up in a few hours and turn over to feel the bed is empty, waiting to hear your groan and feel your arm fall over his waist, only to realize you’re gone all over again. He’ll have to go about his day as normal, distracting himself with work. He’ll drive home just to walk straight to the bedroom, waiting to see you in his dreams again.

He feels as if he's stuck in the same space of time, reliving the day just after he found out about your passing, almost like he’s on a constant loop. Stuck on a circling path that’s never-ending - like the earth orbits around the sun, stuck traveling on the path encompassing it.

It’s a constant cycle of euphoria, realization, and reality - a nightmare - and it hurts. Oh, how it hurts. But he’s not sure he’ll ever want to step out of that pattern, ever. If it means he still gets to see you, the pain means nothing to him, he’ll put up with it - no doubt he will.

He’s much aware he can’t live in this false reality forever, but for now, this is how he’ll survive - this is the only way for him to get through this, the only thing that will keep him going.

Yoongi hugs you tightly as he turns, ending up on his side with you next to him - your chest pressed against his. “I know you will,” he says, leaving a quick kiss on your lips.

He hums after pulling away, waiting no more than a few seconds before leaning back in to feel your lips against his again - making you close your eyes and kiss him back. His lips stay pressed against yours for longer this time before he yet again pulls away with another sound of approval coming from his throat.

You smile as your eyes flutter open again, looking at Yoongi as he licks his lips.

“You like it, don’t you?” You say as his eyes open to lock with yours.

He rubs his lips together before answering you, “like what?”

“My lip balm.”

“I don’t.”

He does.

“No?”

“It’s too sticky,” he mutters, “I don’t like it.”

“Yes, you do,” you chuckle, “I saw how you licked your lips just now.”

He looks at you, no response coming from him at your contention.

“Cat got your tongue?” You tease.

He huffs at you, gummy smile stretching across his lips as he turns away from you to lay on his back. “Shut up.”

You laugh, sitting up to look out over the river - the horizon behind skyscrapers and buildings now a deep orange, beautifully fading into the peach hues higher above.

Yoongi follows you up, sitting next to you as he runs a hand through his hair. He looks at you, following your line of gaze to see the sky and all its tones. He must admit it’s beautiful, almost breathtaking, the vibrant colors laying across the sky - but as he looks back to you, he knows nothing’s ever looked more beautiful than you do right at this moment.

As you turn to see Yoongi shamelessly admiring you, he doesn’t bother averting his gaze even as you catch him.

“What’s that look for?”

“You’re so beautiful,” he mumbles, his head shaking ever so slightly as though he’s in disbelief.

“Ahh, stop.” You reach over to nudge his shoulder, despite the smile on your lips at the compliment.

“You are,” he says, his tone matter-of-factly with a shrug of his shoulders.

“I can’t believe you,” you laugh, “since when did you get so cheesy?”

He doesn’t say anything else, a silence settling over the two of you as you stay eyeing each other.

He’s a soft boy, after all. Under the rapping, dark, deep voice stuttering over beats, the black clothes, the intimidating energy he radiated, he is soft. Sometimes you get random urges to boop his nose or squish his cheeks because he’s so adorable, but maybe that’s just you being weird.

“Thank you,” you say softly after a few seconds, blood rushing to your cheeks.

You cherish and admire him, and with the amount of love that fills your being - you swear there are hearts in your eyes.

Yoongi notices the way your cheeks have been dusted pink, his heart warming at the sight, fluttering in his ribcage as your hand finds his - interlocking your fingers together.

“Come here,” he mumbles, pulling you closer.

You happily oblige and settle in front of him, sitting in between his spread out legs, your back leaning against his chest behind you.

He lays his arms around your waist, placing kisses along your exposed shoulder. You relax against him, head falling to rest on his shoulder - letting your eyes fall close. Your hands find his as they lay across your stomach, your fingers skimming soothingly over the back of his hand.

He leaves a few kisses on top of your head before hugging you closer to his front. You almost melt against him, but a sudden shatter in front of you causes a squeal to escape your mouth, tensing as you press further into Yoongi at the unexpected noise.

You see glass scattered on the cement path in front of where you’re seated, alcohol pungent in the air as it paints the ground dark, liquid spreading. You look over to see a drunk man, who had fallen to the ground after the throw - two police-men now surrounding him.

The bottle lays broken on the ground, once a perfectly intact piece now fragmented into hundreds - impossible to fix.

Yoongi is startled as well, the sudden shatter of glass against the cement causing him to lose control of the moment. Darker thoughts start making their way back into his mind and as his gaze falls upon the pieces scattered across the ground, he can’t help but think of the broken utopia that resides without you.

His grip on the dream feels as if it’s fading slowly, and you feel more distant to Yoongi although still right there with him - until you speak again, bringing him back to present - though he’s not in full control of the dream anymore.

“Was it bad?”

Your words confuse him, and he feels his heart getting heavier. He lost it. He lost the moment.

“What do you mean?”

Your mood has changed, he senses it instantly. You slump against him, looking down at your lap as you run your fingertips over the back of his hand.

“When I passed,” you elaborate, “how bad was it?”

Yoongi’s breath is caught in his throat, now aware of what you’re talking about. He releases a sigh at the topic, feeling a lump forming in his throat. He wanted this to be the perfect dream, but instead, he let you down.

After no answer, you shift and turn so you’re facing him. You look at him, any trace of a smile on his face gone - his eyes dull.

“You can’t keep doing this to yourself,” you whisper, taking both his hands in your own.

Yoongi feels as though the air thins around him, looking down at your intertwined hands as his eyes start stinging with tears. His hands suddenly feel cold on your hold.

He knows you’re right. He knows.

“It’s the only way I get to see you anymore,” he whispers, still avoiding your gaze as he continues, “it’s the only way for me to tell you what I didn’t have the chance to.”

You look at him, heart breaking at the sorrow that resides within him, how dull he seems.

His voice is unsteady as he speaks, his hands fiddling with yours. “I didn’t get to say goodbye.”

“Yoongi-”

“God,” he lets out a chuckle, though it’s broken. “Your note, I read it just before I found out you-” He doesn’t finish his sentence, breath heavy in his lungs - throat closing in.

His hands leave yours to tug at his hair, his head falling forward to rest against his palms - his body suddenly weak, his heart frail.

“You were so excited to go here that day, weren’t you? And then you-”

“Yoongi,” you stop him from going further, “we’re here now, aren’t we? It’s okay.”

You grab his hands again, trying to calm him.

“But we’re not forever,” he says, now looking into your eyes with blurred vision as tears threaten to fall, “This isn’t real, I’ll wake up in a cold bed, and you won’t be there with me.”

“I will, even though you might not see me. I’ll always stay by your side, I’ll always listen when something is weighing you down, I’ll give you all the energy I possibly can when you’re feeling low. My hand is always in yours, even though you might not feel it.”

He exhales an erratic breath, head falling onto your shoulder.

“I’m nothing without you,” he mumbles against the skin of your neck, “you were my everything.”

Your heart breaks as you hear his words. What could you have done to prevent all this? Could you have taken a different turn? These thoughts roam your mind, a sorrow inside you because you caused this - because you left him.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper, leaning into him.

“Don’t,” he says, “this wasn’t your fault.”

Seoul fades around you, every person disappearing until it’s just the two of you left; you, Yoongi, and the orange sun.

“Promise me you’ll try to get better.”

He doesn’t say anything, his breath hot against your neck.

“I know it’s gonna be hard, and that it’ll take time - but please find happiness again, enjoy work, laugh with your friends, watch the sunset, meet new people,” you speak, eyes watching the sky as you hold him close. “I’ll be with you every step of the way until we see each other again, I’ll hug you in the morning, I’ll tell you how much I miss you, I’ll kiss you - but only after I’ve applied my lip balm.”

He lets out a soft chuckle, his tears falling onto the skin by your collarbone.

“Promise you’ll never leave.” He sits up straight to look at you.

You cup his face, wiping tears away with your thumbs. “I will never leave you, I promise.”

He leans into your touch, more tears falling as he closes his eyes.

“I’ll be your angel.”

“You always have been,” he whispers as a small smile settles on his lips.

You tear up at his words. “I love you.”

“And I love you.”

Yoongi decided the sun would never set that night, and you sat watching the sky for hours - enjoying having each other close for the last time in a long time. At one moment, you had pointed at the sky and said ‘like the clouds, all will pass - you’ll be okay, my love’, and those words comforted him more than he ever thought they would.

You promised each other not to cry as the colors started to fade, as the light slowly turned dark. Instead, you held each other close and made sure to share one last kiss before the moment was gone.

Yoongi woke up that morning, and his bed didn’t feel so cold anymore. You were there, although indiscernible, he knew you were lying right beside him - one arm coming up to hold him close.

Just like you told him, you’d be there when he woke up.

He still missed you, and at times he felt he couldn’t breathe at all - but you let him know everything will be alright, that eventually, everything’s going to be okay. He had a long road ahead of him until that day would arrive, but you’d walk with him - and that was all he needed to keep going.

And for the first time in a long time, he smiled. The blinds that had been down since you’d been gone, he pulled up that day to look at the sky, which was clouded and gray, but it didn’t bother him anymore.

For,

with you

the sky will always be beautiful.

masterlist

© justjeonday | 2020 | all rights reserved | reposts, translations, or modifications of my work in any form is not allowed.

[runabout-river]

Chicago P.D./Mayans M.C. crossover Part 1

Thanks for @hardcore-flower​ who came up with this crossover idea, which I couldn’t stop thinking about the last few days. I love crossovers, though in this case I have to admit that I didn’t actually watch Mayans M.C. but I did watch Sons of Anarchy from start to finish, which is probably the reason why I immediately started daydreaming about this:

(note: unlike with @hardcore-flower ‘s idea, I don’t think Antonio would actually join a criminal gang, I also had background hanktonio planned but in the end I left it out completely, also just the spare backdrop of the Mayans on account of me not knowing the show, also also this got so long that I had to split it into two parts)

Part 1.

The tension between him and Hank was climbing higher and higher though it was obvious that Antonio suffered significantly more under it than his boss. All of their strife came directly from their police work, especially when Hank’s brutality and cover ups escalated again, something that slowly started to bleed into their personal lives. He tried to fight that criminal energy that reared its ugly head every time their job became hard, or when it was just that easy to get away with it, and at first he believed in himself and Hank.

The Intelligence Unit could and should operate lawfully and under public scrutiny but with the way Hank was handling many of their cases it seemed as if he saw himself as the arbiter of the law and the only protector of his sheep, the innocent populace. Antonio believed in law and order and that no one should be above it. Not criminals, not Hank.

He thought it meant something when Hank became the sergeant of the IU and didn’t throw him out immediately. That him trying to have Casey killed really was just a one-time act of temporary desperation and insanity. Later he thought that he could be some kind of counterweight to Hank’s worst ideas and impulses, balancing out the unlawful interrogation techniques by reducing them to a bad cop/good cop routine or just making sure that all the threatened violence really was just for show.

At first it all seemed to work out, at least to an acceptable degree which Antonio could live with. He spent his whole career working in Chicago and as sad as it is to admit but police brutality of varying intensity always existed in the force and Antonio himself ended up being complicit in it, especially in his younger years. But he expected better from the Unit in this day and age and set out to make it so.

It worked for some time but unfortunately just as Hank’s police conduct got worse, Antonio’s resistance and endurance of dealing with it got brutally hit as well. Physically he had to deal with getting shot at for the second time in two years, courtesy of some drug dealers and Pulpo, which later led to being prescribed Oxycodone to deal with the pain. Laura left him on top of that which hit him hard emotionally. Three years into working with Hank and Antonio’s mental wellbeing was suffering which the addiction to his painkillers both helped to alleviate but also made him hurt in other ways.  

Then Justin died and everything went from bad to worse. Hank killed his son’s murderer which Antonio confronted him about immediately afterwards. But it was a bad time to oppose the sergeant and Hank made sure that Antonio felt it for the next year. Physically hurting suspects became the norm instead of just an extreme occasion. Even threats against mere witnesses became more and more common and were followed through in more cases than Antonio liked to admit.

And worst of all? The team got turned into Hank’s way thinking, following his orders without doubting them in any meaningful way. Antonio never counted on Erin and Olinsky to rear Hank in but to see the rest of them not only going along but actively participating in illegal interrogation techniques, illegal observation and the kind of brutal police work that would go viral if it were ever recorded on a phone, saddened him to an unimaginable degree. He should have prevented this but obviously he failed.

He should have tried to build some kind unity with the others who were thinking more like him when he had the chance, but Whilhite died and left a gaping hole in Antonio’s heart. Ruzek found his new mentor in Olinsky and Hank fired Sumner at the first excuse. Atwater was more malleable than he thought and Burgess was too eager to serve some kind of justice instead of the right one. Roman was a good police officer but Hank would have never put him into the unit. Mouse, like Jin before him, had not much of a say in the way the unit worked and Nadia would have followed more into Erin’s footsteps than someone else’s. Trudy didn’t work inside the unit but unfortunately she herself had a certain tolerance for Hank’s behaviour as long as she didn’t see it with her own eyes.

Only Jay was his last hope but that hope diminished with every new case. Maybe it was because of Erin or maybe it was Antonio himself who couldn’t keep him in line, but Jay had less and less to say about hitting a suspect one too many times and lying about it later, or about rearranging the scene of a shooting to suit the needs of the IU. He was even passed the point where he either removed himself from the brutal interrogations or watched them silently.

Right now Jay was a willing participant in all of that, ready to excuse anything and everything they did in the name of justice served. Worst of all Antonio could see the guilt in his eyes when he heard those words from him, making him feel bad deep down because he was the one who brought Jay into the team. Jay’s sense of moral integrity seemingly eroded before his eyes and he couldn’t do anything to stop it.

And Antonio himself? If he was not getting outright benched for certain raids and suspect retrievals he was sent to other places, far away from whatever fingers were being broken right now. Opposing Hank was unbelievably stressing. Being put into place was humiliating. Reporting the most egregious instances to the higher ups felt more and more like putting his carrier and occasionally even his safety on the line.

His pill problem only got worse because of that. Every back and forth with Hank and every losing argument with his team got so stressing that he took one like a smoker would a cigarette. It was sad and infuriating at the same time, frustrating and heart breaking in equal measure. Sometimes Antonio didn’t know where to put all his emotions or what to do with them deep in the night. When he finally found room to breathe normally again a nagging thought kept him awake, that maybe, maybe he had problems other than just an addiction.

In the end it was fear that slowly started to rule his life, mostly the fear that he might end up like Jay, of surrendering his principles to Hank Voight. When the next case came everything in Antonio’s life seemed to come to a halt. The case was convoluted and a little chaotic, one where you just had to work through tons of witnesses who named more witnesses, where you had to temporarily expand your IT workforce because of the insane amount of data that needed to be analysed.

But the Intelligence Unit had more “efficient” ways to fall back to, direct and critically faster as Ruzek said. Uncompromising police work was necessary as Burgess put it. It came to a point where the team expected everything that came out of Antonio’s mouth to be a critique of some sort and they went the extra mile of shutting him out beforehand. It wasn’t just Hank anymore, it was the whole team this time. He was being excluded on the grounds of not bending the rules and laws to his whim, of not being a criminal with delusions of righteousness. It was devastating.

His last confrontation with Hank went poorly but this one was just plain awful, the backlash more than excessive. It got physical for one, and one of the others was also there to witness it. He tried to get across just how unnecessary any violent action was right now, an ironic statement if there ever was one as he was uncomfortably pressed against a wall at that moment, but his sergeant basically took that as an attack against his character, his authority and even his whole career which he sacrificed so much for.

It ended with him being sent home for the day, an action that mystified Antonio to no end. Why wouldn’t Hank just fire him already if he was just that much of a hindrance to “real police work”, if he was always “guilt tripping” everyone out of “spite”. If they didn’t want him there then they should just throw him out. Vote on that if they have to, hardly anyone would be on his side. So instead of going home he drove back to the station, taking two pills after getting into the car and another one inside the police building.

He went their room up and down for a while, only pushing himself to come to a decision when the arrival of the others became a dreadful possibility. He printed out the resignation form, filled it out and put it on Hank’s desk. Slowly and haltingly his badge and gun followed. Antonio took one last look around the office, swallowed another pill and left while forcing himself not to look back.

(note: I would apreciate it immensely if someone with mother tongue level of english skills could beta for me before I put this on Ao3 :)

[myivfjourney]

Naps? Yes please!!

9/3/20

Ok, so it's been a few days since I've written - alot has happened!

Quick update to my last few lines in my prior post.

I got the "go ahead" from the doctor to begin stims..the TSH of 3.5 doesn't seem to be a current concern.

My husband got the job and signed his offer today ! Yay!

My meds didn't come on the Thursday like expected inspite being in the phone for 2 hours dealing with it. They came Friday after further investment of time.

Anyways...

Backtracking to last week of August...

I finished the last birth control pill August 24 and was so ready to move to the next step. I had so much back and forth phone calls with the specialty pharmacy that my meds came the Friday. I day before I needed to start them although my doctor and I confirmed the orders weeks prior. I was so upset. Had I not called to verify a few days prior it would have not made it in time. Always very people.

Anyways we begun stims on Saturday August 29th. My husband and I rewatched the videos to be sure we were "doing it right" ...we made it out the first night alive. Menopur stings ladies! But the good news is it does go away after like 1 minute.

I'm on day 6 of Stims right now and all I want to do these past few days is nap.

The stims have gifted me a small lingering headache and complete tiredness. YAY!..u really shouldn't have.

On the same day we begun stims I started spotting and by Sunday I had a heavy flow. Monday morning I couldn't wait to call and find out ...apparently its "withdrawal bleeding" from the birth control and also my uterus is shedding its lining. Since it measured 8" last time, I had lot to lose thus bleeding for 2 more days. I'm spotting today..still pink..but hoping it stops soon.

Last night I had to get 3 injections because the re-inject pen for Gonal would only give me a dose of 100IU since we've used 200 IUs each night thus far as my dosage (it comes as 900) ..but..the night before somehow when my hubby injected me, only 175 IUs discharged so I needed another shot of 25 to even out the 200. So needless to say two nights in a row I've had 3 stabs to the belly...how lovely! I've gotten use to it so its fine.

I visited the doctors office on Wednesday (yesterday) and looks like we're pacing well. They want to see me tomorrow again for further monitoring.

Can I just tell you about my left overies for a quick sec? I mean..I've already covered my periods so why not.

My left girl seems to be hiding out behind my uterus down under. So finding her is always a bitch. The nurse looked for a good few minutes before giving up. She then called in the doctor to look around for her. I waited about 5-8mins on the bed (on my period) after being poked around with the probe for several minutes. When the doctor came, in order to find her, I was asked to literally turn and lie on my right butt cheek while the probe was inside ...only then Ms. Lefty graced us with her presence....they got the picture they needed.. ( when he saw her I heard him count out to 10 but I didn't ask what it was..follicles? ) Gosh I hate this process. It's so gross. I wonder if it will be this hard when I'm going in for egg retrieval? I can't go on my right butt cheek under sedation...oh my God. The cramps that will follow...

I am hopeful for tomorrow's visit. I'm starting to feel very "lumpy" in the sides of my belly. Something is happening ...aka...growing!

The doctor didn't say anything about follicles yesterday so you bet your ass I'm asking tomorrow. I need to know what we're working with here. I was instructed to stay on my current dosage of meds until next visit.

Cheers to good news tomorrow. God knows I need it.

On a different note outside of IVF -

I lost my Job on Tuesday Sept. 1, 2020! My position was eliminated and I'm now a statistic of the wrath of Covid. I dont want to get emotional but sometimes I can't help but feel defeated. I need to find a sense of worth and value. I haven't spoken to my best friend or anyone about this process, my career downturn and how I'm feeling. Partly because I don't want to be pitied and treated "special" like a delicate lamb or something. You are my only outlet of expressing how I feel. The anonymity helps for transparency.

With my body not able to conceive naturally I've had to turn to science for my miracle....and thank heavens for science... while its a challenging process I was ..and still am..going to be strong and positive through it. But, things like losing the job you loved so much and the amazing benefits that it provides is a big hit. I had an amazing position with an amazing company...amazing compensation and worked with amazing people...and now its all gone. Officially on September 18 my coverage ends. Luckily my egg retrieval should be well before then.

My doctor will most likely opt for a frozen transfer (higher success rates) so that puts me into October and I feel like I'm in limbo. Do I still apply for jobs now knowing I have so many doctors visits still upcoming and when I get pregnant will I face any discrimination and not be hired?

I never heard back anything from the job interview last week btw. I must have applied to about 50 job postings at this point. No interviews and a few rejections but mostly crickets.

Am I worrying too much? 😕

Well you try going through Stims...tell me how you feel.

My hubby's position was also eliminated and so he was technically out of a job for a week. But his boss ( same company) before he got promoted reached out with an opportunity. He interviewed and got the job. So he's back reinstated with his company after 1 week and starts this new role (promotion with more pay) on Tuesday after the holiday. Crazy times I tell you.

Anyways...as usual I chirp away...more to come after my visit tomorrow.

Off to take another nap.....yawns!!!

[moonliney]

I really don’t like her

 4.8K wowowow pretty good for the first post if I do say so myself ;)

 Genre: Angst with a hint of fluff, Idol!Au

 Summary: Yunhee has been BTS’s best friend since they debuted in 2013. 3 years later and stronger friendships than ever, she debuted with her own group as well and is now battling the stress of work, life, and her so called feelings for her best friend Jung Hoseok, also known as BTS very own J-hope. Let’s also mention that she is super naive and does not understand what the fu** love is until a certain girl from J-hope's past comes back.

 Really IMPORTANT author’s note and warnings: A lot of “oppa” usage (though it’s meant to highlight Yunhee’s young personality), these are MC instead of Y/N because I’m planning to make a whole series and having names for the girl characters help me keep track so please understand :), might be some confusion in the beginning but it will all makes sense in the end ( think of it like the Reply 1988 korean drama ish), for those who have kept on reading till here, thank you so much and as the great Jungkook said multiple times, “LET’S GET IT”

 Inspired by IU “ I really don’t like her” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4fAY-zesnQ

Month December, Year 2016 ~

Hip hop music pounded vibrantly from the practice room as J-hope, Jimin and Yunhee moved effortlessly along the beat of the bass; J-hope with his powerful consistency, Jimin gliding as graceful as an ice skater and Yunhee with her young yet strong charisma looking back at her in the mirror. They occasionally danced together every now and then when they weren’t busy rehearsing or producing new songs. It had been a while though as BTS was rising in fame internationally and Yunhee had just debuted this year from a girl group survival show so schedules were always packed.

“ girl let me know, girl let me know, although I know already everything is over” ~

The once upbeat music suddenly turned solemn and sad as J-Hope ran over to pick his phone up. Jimin turning seductively did a little body wave at the 19 year old girl who laughed, lightly pushed him back.

“ Yoboseyo...Nari-ah?”

Yunhee looked over at J-hope’s shocked face that was blended with confusion as his eyes started glazing, her being so close to him she recognized that as a hint of hurt in those pretty brown orbs. Not less than a millisecond, he blinked and his face now hardened to an expression Yunhee had never seen.

“ No, I’m not busy today…okay, we can go there...yeah just like old times.”

Jimin with eyes wide, scoffed and whispered to Yunhee, “ How likely of him to leave us for Nari noona. After what she did to him, I can’t believe he is agreeing to see her.”

“ Nari?” Yunhee wondered for a second knowing the name sounded familiar but no face appeared in her memory.

“ Nari, remember the one that broke up with Hope hyung for another man. He was so sad about it, he spent days dancing in the practice room trying to distract himself with Dynamic Duo songs.”

“ I can hear you, you know?” J-hope smiled slightly at the younger two who stifled with shock and a little fear of being caught eavesdropping. He then grabbed his jacket and looked over at them with his dimpled smile, “Sorry guys, I’m going to go now. It was nice practice, let’s do it again when we’re all free.”

“ Oppa,” Yunhee spoke up hesitantly as she walked towards him, “ where are you going? Are you going to be okay?”

Some people may have snickered at Yunhee for her bluntness but that was how she was, she had a tendency to say things straight up not on the basis of being rude but more on curiosity and child-like innocence.

J-hope leaned over ruffling her hair, “ I’m fine, don’t worry. I’ll text you when I get back.” He opened the door and walked out leaving the two youngsters alone, both of their expressions filled with concern at the thought of their friend seeing someone who had hurt him so badly.

Later that day ~

Yunhee sat down on the couch with a sigh as she stared out the window of BTS’s dorm. It was getting quite late already, 10:07 PM to be exact and J-hope wasn’t home yet. All of them had schedules in the morning and for both of them to not be at their respective dorms could cause quite some trouble for themselves. She, however, was more worried about her best friend. For the past 3 years of knowing him, she could positively say she knew everything about him and vice versa. She knew the basic things such as his favorite songs and food, how he liked his coffee, and could most likely predict his outfit choice for the day. She also knew the deeper things such as his struggles in making what he considered “perfect” music and the pressure that falls heavily on him if a dance performance was not performed well not only by him but all the members too. However, one thing that seemed to be guarded was his love life. He never spoke about it to her and she had even considered the possibility of him never having a girlfriend as he would have been too busy trying to debut. One rare occasion changed her mind though as Yunhee resurfaced it from her memory.

Month September, Year 2013 ~

It was about 3 years ago when the boys were filming Rookie King and Yunhee was still in high school, their friendship was only 3 months in yet it was possibly the strongest and most friendships Yunhee had ever had. The boys treated her well, most of them seeing her as a little sister with few exceptions here and there specifically, the maknae line who also saw her as a fellow prankster whom they loved to tease.

Humid air filled the warm autumn night as Yunhee walked to their small dorms bringing them dinner; the menu of the night being warm white rice and meat with fresh kimchi to top it off. The boys had just finished filming and she knew they did not have time and money to have a hearty meal so on some days, she would cook more amounts of her dinner to bring to them. Expecting to see 7 pairs of eyes as she opened the dorm’s door, she was surprised to only see 5. The 5 rushed over to her with grins as the scent of home-cooked foods filled their nostrils while she handed them over their dinner smiling at their silliness.

“ Where’s Hoseok oppa and Yoongi oppa?” Yunhee peered around at the tight kitchen. Namjoon engulfing his mouth with his favorite food looking as cute as a hamster, tilted his head at J-hope’s door  

Giggling, she walked to the pointed direction opening the door, “ Oppas, I brought dinne-.” She froze as J-hope looked up at her with his swollen teary eyes having Suga next to him with a hand on his shoulder, a sign of comfort. She quickly bowed apologizing and turned to walk out but the sweet voice of J-hope called her name letting her know it was okay to stay. As the young girl turned around, Suga stood up and excused himself out as he gave her a small smile leaving the two of them to stand in still silence, the air conditioning buzzing loudly like it was a full on blizzard.

“Hoseok oppa,” Yunhee spoke up gently as she walked towards him, engulfing him in the most loving hug she had ever given to someone. She didn’t know why she did it or if it was the right thing to do, but her grandmother had always told her that touch was the best form of communication to comfort someone when you didn’t know what was going on. Maybe her grandmother was right as J-hope hugged her back leaning his head on her shoulders. For some reason, this pained Yunhee even more than that time she twisted her ankle and thought she could never dance again. Her oppa was always calm every time she had seen him, yes she knew about his energetic bright side as his fans loved him for and he did have some of those traits in his daily life as well, but sometimes he was quite mellow and serious. Both sides of him Yunhee had loved but this new side of him, the hurt sadness tore at her heart the longer the seconds passed.

Eventually, J-hope let her go but still leaned over to stroked her black hair as he explained the reasons for his tears. Apparently, they had to sing some songs and talked about their past love on the new episode of Rookie King which was not a big deal for the boys except, J-hope had perhaps reminiscent a little too much of his feelings while singing Dynamic Duo “ Solo” leading him to fall into a abyss of what had happened with his past love.

Yunhee now sitting next to him leaned over to rest her head on his shoulder as she listened closely with understanding. The latter had never experienced this so-called heartbreak before but her love of melodramatic movies indicated to her it was painful and possibly the worst thing to experience. With that, she made a conclusion to stay with J-hope that night even though he had protested tremendously worried about her grandmother’s approval. The young girl brushed it off, a hint of her young rebellion showed through her grin and that night, they fell asleep facing each other, J-hope with his wounded heart and Yunhee with the thought to protect J-hope from this girl. In her dreams and reality, she engraved in her own heart that although she has never met this girl, she already didn’t like her.

Present 2016 ~

A rustling of keys snapped Yunhee from her memories as she peered over seeing a tired J-hope walk in slowly until he paused and noticed her.

“ Yunhee? What are you doing here? It’s so late, don’t you have a schedule tomorrow?”

She didn’t know what to say, yes she was worried about him but she worried about the other boys too when they came home late, however, not to this extent. This time it felt like her worries were not only about him coming home late, but Nari, their relationship, what she meant to him and everything in between. Her head started hurting at this new frustration occurring but she ignored it to answer his question, “ Yes, but I was worried. I remember you talked about N-nari ( the name being hard for Yunhee to say) and I… I just wondered when you would be back?” Ending her statement as a question was not the move, she thought groaning at herself, the headache now being a bigger problem than before.

J-hope smiled gently at Yunhee for her kindness, even at a young age, she always looked out for everyone and made sure BTS were always doing well as individuals and a whole. That is why he felt he had to owe her an explanation of what happened today, positive that the young girl would understand him.

“ Yunhee-ah,” he walked over to sit on the sofa and held her soft hands noticing a slight tremble, “ Are you cold?...No? Okay well I have to tell you something okay?” She looked up at him with her big round eyes and furrowed brows wondering if staying late was a bad idea after all. A moment passed before she nodded, afraid to hear, but as the saying goes curiosity does kill the cat.

“ Nari called me to meet up today because her dad passed away and their family was left with a lot of debt...she is still in college and her mother works at part-time job so they don’t have much money to pay it off and she knows I am the only person who could help her pay off the debt until she gets a job.”

“ So she is using you to pay off her debt?” Yunhee bluntly said with a sour expression.

“ No, didn’t you hear me? She is paying me back after the debt. It’s not like she only wants to reconnect for money, she knew me before any of you did.”

The young girl looked at him aghast and hurt at the fact he would even say that. He had never scowled her before no matter how many times she teased or pranked him with the maknae line, yet one girl from his past, the one that left him so coldy could make him turn against her in an instant.

J-hope seemed to notice her upsetness and started to feel guilty himself, “Yunhee-ah, you know this is just a nice thing I am doing for a friend. You are so kind-hearted yourself, you should understand this.”

The latter hearing those words directed at her ,as if she was a little child, stood up and looked at him. “ I do understand. You’re looking out for a friend and that is completely fine, it’s your life...wouldn’t want to get in the way of you and your long-time friend.”

“ Yunhee, you’re also my frie-.” “ I think I should go back to my dorm.” Yunhee hated herself for being so petty but at this moment, she was hurt, confused, and worried so with all those negative feelings, it unleashed an immaturity from her. “ I’m going to call my manager to take me home so don’t worry about it oppa.” Smiling slightly at him, she leaned over and gave a quick hug to prove to J-hope she was okay even though she really wasn’t.

Later that night, Yunhee laid on her bed holding the angel necklace J-hope had given her on her birthday. Feeling the little jewels bump against her fingertip, the girl sighed and sat up to grab her notebook. Emotions were something Suga told her to express through music if it hurts too much to say and at this point, she was feeling that as the early bothersome headache had now traveled down and created the worst heartache she had ever experienced.

Next week ~

Laughters and chit chats can be heard from Big Hit’s break room where the staffs and idols come to hang out, eat, or discuss different things like the new scandal that is occurring on the news, what concept would be best for BTS’s new comeback, Yunhee’s new rising fame in choreography to what foods taste best with soju and if Namjoon really lost his 3rd AirPod of the week.

“ I’m telling you, I remember I put it on the shelf before we left to perform and when I came back, it was gone.” The leader said exhaustingly, how he can lose so many things beats him but at this point, he was getting tired, the new AirPods just came out and for him to lose it 3 times already was causing him to worry about his mental state.

The rest of the members and Yunhee laughed and shook their heads knowing quite well this would not be the last time RM misplaced his AirPods.

“ Hyung, it must be a ghost ooooooo.” Jimin said trying to scare RM with the thought of paranormal activities happening in BTS’s very own dorm.

“ Ah, don’t say that. It scares me.” V pouted cutely knowing he was also sharing rooms with RM and any ghosts that mess with the tall man would have messed with him as well.

Yunhee gave the sulking V a pat on the back, “ It’s okay Tae tae, ghosts don’t exist.” Though whether she was trying to convince him or herself, she was unsure.

“ Namjoon, you’re really lucky we’ve been making more money. How can you afford to spend so much on your lost things?” Suga snickered.

“ I told you it wasn’t-” RM paused noticing a lack of reaction from the otherwise talkative member, J-hope who did not hear a single word of what was going on, his face glued straight at his phone screen. “ Yo Hope, I know we see each other everyday but you’ve been nonstop on your phone this week. Yunhee’s here too so at least act like you are in this conversation with us.”

J-hope looked up at everyone who were now staring at him. “ What? Sorry guys, Nari just got out of class right now and was telling me about it. It’s so interesting seeing how people go to college and live their lives being just...normal.” He smiles, not aware of the maknae line rolling their eyes at him.

“ Nari Nari Nari that’s all he talks about nowadays.” V whispered to Yunhee as the latter increasingly grew more insecure. Is that what oppa likes about her? The girl thought to herself. That Nari was normal compared to their everyday idol lives, that she went to school with her friends or maybe had a cute part-time job as a barista and on some days, walked freely around without hiding and lived her life, that she was like new fresh air compared to the tight suffocating industry they worked in?

“ Yah Hoseok, tell me the truth.” Jin now spoke up a bit annoyed by the dancer’s distraction as well. “Do you like her? You talked about her a lot and we know you two had history.”

The previous loud chatters were now replaced with complete quietness and tension as if one little shake could disrupt the whole place as everyone waited for his response.

“ No, it’s not like that,” J-hope reassured them, “I’m over her, like you said what we had was history. Past. Done. I mean she was in my previous dance team so we’ve been sharing a lot of ideas and tips for choreography but it’s the best thing for BTS right now, a new outside perspective on our performance. If anything does occur with us, I’ll let you guys know. Like RM telling us about Luna, I’ll let you guys know okay?”

Some nodded while others mumbled in agreement, still not convinced this was just two friends catching up but it was better to hear from J-hope than nothing at all. One member, though noticed Yunhee’s down look frown so being the good older brother he was, decided to step up. “Yunhee-ah, do you want to go with me to my genius lab? There’s a new song I’ve been working on and I like to see your outside perspective on things.” Suga said smugly jabbing at J-hope’s reference to Nari’s outside perspective earlier.

30 minutes later ~

“ So then, I left because I didn’t want him to tell me anymore about him and his ex girlfriend. Do I want to know more now? Yes. Should I ask though? No.” Yunhee said while walking around crossed armed in the small yet beautifully designed studio.

The pale man sitting down now thinking for a minute before choosing his next words, “Why shouldn’t you ask? Yes, she had been in his life for a while but she left. If you think about it, you and her share the same amount of years knowing him.”

“...because it’s intrusive...and I’m afraid to know what he’ll say.” Remembering how he scowled her last week about Nari knowing him for a long time before any of them did throbbed at her heart, it wouldn’t have been the first time though as his words were repeated in her mind every night she laid awake since. “ They’ve known each other before he debuted and she’s from the outside world...she’s different. Plus she’s a dancer from his old dance team! She could possibly be the best dancer there is...” Sulking even more now, Yunhee sat down on the sleek couch. It had been a while since this so-called low self esteem appeared in her life especially since after debut, she was praised a lot for her strong dance skills and cheery charm but now it felt like none of that mattered in comparison to Nari.

“ Yunhee, I know Hoseok. Yes he might be enjoying time with Nari now but she’s not the one for him. Whether she is a good or bad person, it just doesn't seem right seeing them together. Hoseok deserves more…. but before you ask Hoseok about his true feelings, you should ask yourself that as well.”

Looking at him wide eyed, she repetitively shook her head. “ Oppa! I have no idea what you are talking about, I am just a concerned friend.”

“ So you’re telling me, your-” he stopped looking at the clock, “ 25 minute rant and pile of insecurity lining up in my studio was just because you were a concerned friend? Okay then.”

Yunhee glared at him before proceeding to stick her tongue out. “ Yoongi oppa, didn’t you have a song you want to show me?” “ No, I just brought you here cause I knew you needed to talk. Besides I don’t need an outside perspective on my new song.” The 22 year old boy smirked.

“ Okay, Agu S T D. I need help on this new song I’ve been working on though. I got the verses and bridge part first weirdly enough but I’ve been trying to make a chorus that really sums up everything. It’s going to be in the majority of the song so it has to be good. Please help me out.” Yunhee asked cutely and handed over to him the notebook she had kept in her bag as he flipped to the bookmarked section.

Is she still so great?

Does your heart drop just by a single phone call?...

Why is she calling you when she coldly left you?

It’s frustrating to see you pick up the call too

As I see you go through this, I still stick by you

For that, I’m the bigger fool

I’m the bigger fool for waiting for you

Suga after reading the song lyrics looked up staring intensely at the waiting girl who was also meeting his gaze , “ Oppa? How is it? Do you like it?...Ow!” Her blue notebook tapped lightly against her head by Suga’s hands.“ Yah, what kind of concerned friend writes like that? If I wrote something like this for Taehyung when he is being weird, people would ship us more than Sope….but it is a good song. I can work on the composing with you tomorrow if you can get the chorus done tonight. You’re at the right place, you just need to look further than the song and think thoroughly about what you want to convey.”

The younger smiled brightly and thanked him with a cheeky air kiss leaving the elder to blush and look away constantly shocked by her outgoingness.

Ah Yunhee, Suga sighed, why can’t you see your own feelings too? Why can’t you understand the one that deserves Hoseok is you?

The next day ~

A bright energetic Yunhee bounced on her way to BTS’s studio floor holding her finished lyrics in one hand and an iced green tea in the other. She spent the whole day yesterday thinking about Suga’s words and was finally able to finish the chorus, ignoring the little voice in her mind though about her feelings toward J-hope. She did not want it to ruin her day and after finishing her first full song, she was eager to see it come to life. As RM once told her, “ Better make use of your emotions because it can turn into something beautiful.” She was doing exactly that as she basically jumped out the elevator and headed towards the passcode studio.

A certain doe-eyed boy though stopped her track. “Noona? What are you doing here?”.

“Oh Kookie, hi! I’m going to Yoongi oppa’s, he’s been helping me write a song and I’m soooo excited!” The maknae now looked at her more wide eyed than before with a hint of nervousness as he shuffled around, “ Ah r-really? Okay, well just letting you know... Nari noona is here with Hope hyung.”

“ What?” Yunhee’s blood ran cold like the iced green tea that was condensing in her hand, “Why?” “ He wanted to show her around a bit, they were dancing together in the practice room and..yeah.”

 Dancing in the practice room...that was something we did, Yunhee thought miserably. “ B-but it’s our practice room, no one can just go in… it’s fine. Thanks for letting me know Kook. I’m going to go to Yoongi oppa now.” She then proceeded to walk past the worried maknae ignoring the tears welling up as he stared after her, him hoping there was a way Nari would be gone and everything would go back to normal.

Knock Knock...Beep!

The passcode unlocked as Yunhee walked inside quietly setting her things aside. “ Yun yun, did you fi- hey why are you crying?” “ Oppa,” Yunhee broke, running to hug the older male with tears rushing down, “ He’s with her here. They’re dancing together and I’m so sorry, I don’t mean to cry but my heart hurts so much, why does it hurt so much?” 

Yoongi cradled Yunhee in his arms, heart aching at the fact that the girl who was always there for them, the bubbly strong girl who never wanted to see anyone hurt was breaking down herself. “Oppa, is she going to replace me?” Suga froze then quickly pulled her back by the shoulder peering directly into her eyes, “ No Yunhee. No one is ever going to replace you, you’re our sister and no one in this entire world can make you go away… It’s going to be okay, I’ll have a talk with Hope but for now stay here and rest a little.” “... no, please I want to finish the song.”

Suga looked at Yunhee who was now standing up to get ready to sing the final touches. They’ve been working for an hour now arranging things together much to his concern but Yunhee had always been the type to get up quickly or in this case, determined to finish what she started.

Yunhee took in a deep breath, this was it. That last verse and then it would be sent to BangPD to see if he liked it or not. She honestly didn’t know if she wanted it to be sent though, the whole song being a little too close to home and personal for it to be her first released one, but some part of her was even more worried what Hoseok would think once he sees it. Would he know it was about him? Would he know her...feelings? Ugh, yes leave it to Yoongi and his damn Pisces energy to make her realize it, but she did in some ways care about Hoseok...more than a concerned friend.

No, she definitely cared about him way more than that. She felt happy when he was happy, she was sad when he was sad. Everything he felt, she took it upon herself to feel twice as much. If there was something on her mind, she would rush to him in less than a heartbeat and he was always the one she wanted to impress out of everybody.

 I like him...I like him a lot, Yunhee thought. He helped her become a better person everyday from his caringness and he was the one person who she would give up her dancing for even though her skills were her biggest pride. Yunhee chuckled lightly. Once emotions were opened they really opened the whole way, but now she has to focus and sing. Yoongi has been looking at her weirdly for a while now anyways, so closing her eyes and gathering all her new found emotions, all of the memories she shared with J-hope and the 11:11 wishes she prayed for him, started to use her ethereal vocals and sing the pitiful song.

How much did you like her to be like this?

How much did you love her to be like this?

What was so great about her?

Why are you like this?

How much did you like her to be like this?

How much did you love her to be like this?

How can you make me be in pain?

I’ve never met her but I really don’t like her

Yunhee let out a sigh due to all the pain and ache she had felt released in this song, it was like a part of her was free now. No matter what happens to Hoseok and her, she would trust in fate to do the bidding, as long as she was content and free she was going to be okay. Who knew fate would hear her that very moment though.

Opening her eyes, she glanced up and went stone rigid as the first pair of eyes she met were the most beautiful ones belonging to the recipient of this song itself, Jung Hoseok. And just her luck, standing behind him was also the muse, a small brown hair girl who could only be named as Nari. 

Guess this time Yunhee will really have to meet her and see if she likes her or not. Just great.

Part 2 https://moonliney.tumblr.com/post/619869275003453440/35k-of-pure-love-genre-fluffier-this-time

Aaaaand that’s a wrap people! Omg, maybe I should have put a warning that this would be really bad ahshshjsnahkgkfkfk but thanks for reading! feel free to leave comments or ask questions I’m open to answer anything :) quarantine got me being sooo lonely...bye!

[girlgrouptrash101]

IU - Proud to Call You Mine

Request: "Hey! Are you taking request. If so, could you do a one shot where reader gets jealous of k-pop male idols fan boying over iu"

Warnings: Nothing NSFW, just fluff ahead

Word Count: 1,046 Words

A/N: I feel like I kinda went way off the request and got carried away but,,,,,, oh well sznsnjsjs sorry

Jieun wanted nothing more than to see your face in the crowd at her latest music show performance. It had been a little while since she had promoted last, and with all the new groups and singers debuting these days, she was worried that people wouldn't remember her.

Your girlfriend knew that if you were there cheering her on, she could just focus on you and forget her nerves. That way she could deliver her best performance and get the crowd going.

Jieun performed wonderfully as always, and your heart swelled with pride to know that girl on stage was all yours, and you were the lucky one who got to take her home afterwards.

Since the day you met her, you knew that Jieun was meant for the stags. Maybe it was how a single high note could have a crowd of thousands holding their breaths, the goosebumps that appeared on your skin after every time she performs, or the way her smile can light up even the most crowded of venues when she gets up on the stage.

You headed backstage after Jieun's performance, showing your visitor's pass to the security that your girlfriend got you earlier.

Your heart beat a little faster as Jieun saw you coming, a smile on her face as she waved. Just before you got to wrap your girlfriend in a hug, some guy who you vaguely recognized from seeing him on television before.

He spun your girlfriend around, his hand looking a bit too friendly on her shoulder, moving it slowly down to her waist. You felt jealously burning as he looked at her like she was his, and you could clearly see Jieun was trying to finish up the conversation so she could get away from him. Why couldn't he just take a hint?

You approached, bowing at anyone passed you as you made your way over to your girlfriend.

"Uh, Jieun? Hey." You said, getting her attention and bowing to the guy who looked a little puzzled as to who you were, and why you were interrupting his conversation.

"Hey, Y/N! So, how did I do?" Jieun said, her hands coming to wrap around your neck as yours moved to her waist.

"Excuse me." A deep voice interrupted you just as you opened your mouth to reply to Jieun.

"Yeah?" You asked, wondering why he was still trying his luck to get near Jieun when she was clearly in your arms.

"I was talking to IU noona, back off." He said, crossing his arms as if to seem threatening. Jieun laughed a little as you snorted, ignoring him and turning back to your girlfriend.

"Hey, you can't just ignore me like this!" The idol said, pushing on your shoulder to get you away from Jieun.

It was your girlfriend who stepped in to put this guy back in his place.

"Excuse me, but you have been nothing but rude since you approached me, and I have no time for it. Stop being childish and leave us be, please." She said, her tone firm as the boy furrowed his brows.

"You're crazy. Who even is this anyway?" He said, gesturing to you as he rolled his eyes.

"You're really just not getting it through your skull are you?" Jieun replied, laughing a bit at the offended look on his face. He shook his head anyway, wanting to know who had the pleasure of taking up all Jieun's precious attention.

Jieun just rolled her eyes and turned to you, not giving yourself much time to think as she grabbed your collar and pulled you in. You smiled against her lips, holding her small waist close to your body.

You pulled away from the kiss with a smirk, looking at the guy with raised eyebrows and an expression that said, 'Why are you even still here?'

"Whatever," He scoffed, turning on his heel and leaving the way he came to the relief of you both. You couldn't help giggling at the whole situation, Jieun joining in on your laughter when she realised what had just happened.

You held Jieun by the waist as she brought you to her dressing room, doing as much PDA as possible on the way so that no one else was confused about your relationship with the girl beside you.

She pulled you into her dressing room, bowing to the stylists and makeup and hair team as they went home for the night. You helped your girlfriend get changed back into her leggings and hoodie that she was wearing earlier. You glowed with pride as you noticed it was actually your hoodie hanging loosely off her small frame. You couldn't help yourself as you pulled her in for another kiss, your hands circling her waist once again. Jieun reciprocated the kiss, playing with the baby hairs on the back of your neck.

You pulled away with a smile, pecking her one last time before grabbing her bags and helping her out to her manager's car.

"I never got to talk to you properly," You said as you finally walked through the apartment door and the familiar scent of your girlfriend enveloped you as you walked over as slumped on the couch.

Jieun followed suit, dropping her bags on the floor and moving over to snuggle beside you. Your arms wrapped securely around her, starting to talk again now that all your girlfriend's attention was on you.

"You did so well tonight, as always. I'm just really proud to call you mine, and I hope you know that. I love you, baby." You said, pressing a kiss to a now blushing Jieun's temple.

"Thank you for being there, nothing makes me happier than seeing you in the crowd, supporting me when I'm doing what I love. I love you too."

With that, she pressed another kiss to your lips, smiling as you tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Now, hows about Netflix and cuddles?" You said, pulling away and squishing her cheeks together as she laughed a little at you.

"Well, that sounds good to me babe," Jieun replied when you finally stopped teasing her, pecking both of your cheeks with a grin before settling down beside you and curling into your side comfortably.

[iuinspires]

IU’s Versatile Voice

One of the things which always amazes me is the versatility of IU’s voice. Someone who is new to IU and listens to a random sampling of songs from her discography for the first time might be forgiven for thinking that they were sung by different people. For IU has the ability to vary her voice to pull off a variety of styles – it can be cutesy and girlish, light and sweet, deep and soulful, or sultry and playful, depending on the mood and genre of the song. To make my point, I’ve chosen four very different songs to highlight each of these qualities of her voice.  

Cutesy and girlish

IU’s cutesy and girlish voice can be heard in songs from the early days of her career, when her company was trying to promote a cute image after the failure of her debut album Lost Child was blamed on its overly dark and mature concept. I’m not a fan of IU’s songs from these era – Boo and Marshmallow are a travesty in my opinion, and even IU herself seems quite embarrassed whenever she performs them these days – but you can’t deny that she managed to pull off admirably the aegyo she was expected to deliver, through her voice. To highlight this I’ve chosen to feature Nagging, IU’s 2010 duet with 2 AM’s Seulong that I find reasonably catchy and not overly cringe-worthy, even if it isn’t exactly my kind of song. It’s a light-hearted pop ballad where the lyrics are like the banter between a couple, and IU’s voice exudes a cute, girlish charm that is well-suited to the song and harmonizes well with Seulong’s voice.

Light and sweet

This is probably what IU is best known for – her light, sweet and mellow vocals, exemplified through popular sentimental ballads like Through the Night and The Shower, where her voice lends a delicate touch that complements the lyrical nature of these acoustic songs. I love so many of IU’s ballads that I had a hard time choosing one song feature, but I finally decided on IU’s Autumn Morning from her last album, Flower Bookmark 2. Here, IU’s voice demonstrates a pure, sweet clarity that does indeed seem like a breath of fresh morning air. I love how there is an element of gentle cheeriness to her voice as well - listen carefully, and at 1:12 when IU sings “ah-chi-meh”, you can almost hear the smile in her voice. Even though I do not understand Korean, listening to her sing this does evoke the image of a beautiful morning with clean, fresh air, bright sunlight and chirping birds!

Deep and soulful

While IU applies a light touch for many of her songs, she has the capability to exercise strength and depth with her voice where needed. One of the best-known examples of the power of her voice would probably be her three-octave note in her hit song Good Day, where she belts out three consecutive high notes in the chorus. I prefer, however, songs where IU demonstrates the strength of her voice in more subtle ways by going deeper - such as in the chorus of When a Love Passes By, or in this song I’ve chosen to feature: a cover of the oldie Forgotten Seasons, which IU sang in her drama You’re the Best Lee Soon Shin. Here, IU’s voice is much lower and deeper than usual, producing a lovely, rich resonance that sounds suitably soulful for this poignant song.

Sultry and playful

This is my favourite – the sultry and playful side of IU’s voice. I love this aspect of her voice because it showcases the unique huskiness of her vocals which goes particularly well with jazzy songs, such as those in her Modern Times album that I really enjoy (check out Modern Times, Love of B, Red Shoes, Between the Lips, all of which are great songs). One of my greatest loves amongst songs of this category, however, would be Zeze from IU’s 2015 album Chatshire. I know it was a controversial song (and probably one with painful memories for IU fans due to the unfair accusations levelled at IU for its lyrics), but that doesn’t detract from the fact that it is an excellent piece of music. I particularly love IU’s live performance in the acoustic version of the song in the video below. Notice how her voice has a special, lilting charm which conveys a sense of mischief and playfulness, with subtle details like the soft, suppressed chuckle at the beginning of the song (0:26 of the video).

The four songs I’ve chosen are just a tiny sample from IU’s vast discography - there are many other songs where IU’s vocal quality demonstrates all of these abovementioned qualities or even defies categorisation. They do, however, provide a quick snapshot of how versatile IU’s voice can be, and prove how IU is not afraid to experiment with a variety of musical styles. I know there are critics who say that IU’s singing skills are overrated, and that IU doesn’t have the best vocal techniques. But for a layperson like myself who isn’t vocally trained, listening to IU sing is a great joy, for she has the ability to tell a different story and convey a variety of emotions with her beautiful voice. And that to me, is what matters most at the end of the day – to listen to music that has the ability to touch the heart.