#sidenote: it just started pouring here

[bookshelf-dust]

you've ruined everything.

billy hargrove x fem!reader

word count: 2,867

warnings: swearing, kissing, mentions of past/ongoing trauma, brief smoking, mentions of death, vecna (yes he counts), a pretty violent kill just not described in graphic detail, billy and reader are a mess

requested here

a/n: sylvia, this one's for you (really hope you read that in eddie's voice). so i kind of ended up with a recreation of some season two moments during the plot of season four, if that makes any sense. for context: everyone is still in hawkins, billy is upside-down-aware, everyone is chill with each other. this was my attempt at something riveting, but i don't know if that's what i accomplished. sidenote: for vecna's end, i want you to picture the endings of david in the lost boys or top dollar in the crow (sorry if those are spoilers). i hope you enjoy this!! <333

————

"Max..." Vecna's voice felt like a shiver. Max felt it skate down her scalp, tickle the base of her spine. As if someone had poured ice water over her head.

It was almost funny that he'd chosen her, really. She should've seen it coming.

This young, freshly traumatized girl. This girl who'd been dealt a shitty hand: uprooted from her father, from her hometown, disputed over by new friends. Best of all, she'd watched her brother get ripped apart—mentally and physically. Yeah, he'd lived, but Starcourt had still happened.

Maybe the Mindflayer was dead, but at what cost? Obviously their efforts had been in vain if Vecna was running amuck. But this time, it didn't seem like anything could be fixed. It felt like Vecna was the end.

"Your time...is almost at an end." His voice reverberated around the concrete walls of the school hallway. At least she’d thought it had.

“Max!” You were snapping your fingers in her face, an aggressive gesture, a tone in your voice you’d never used with her. It had been in her head. He’d been in her head.

Max’s headphones hadn’t left her ears since Nancy and Robin told you that music worked. That it’d saved Victor Creel (for the most part). And it would damn well save Max.

But He was getting angry. Vecna didn’t approve of your tactics. He didn’t like your plan.

Save Max. Save Max. Save Max.

So He flipped another page. Swept down another path. He looked into you. Listened.

That boy from the summer. Billy, was it? He’d hid something away. Tucked it nice and snug in the back of his mind. You.

You’d do just fine.

Vecna closed his eyes, let the vines do their job. Let them tether him to your world. He felt through that red blur, felt for you. Found himself sifting through your memories.

"Billy, would you please sit still? You fucking popped at stitch." You sounded aggravated with him, but you'd kissed the angry skin on his side anyhow.

He caught glimpses of you and that boy.

"Max, you have to tell Billy these things. He needs to know how you feel." Max hadn't known how to tell the boy how scared she'd been when she thought she'd lose him.

It seemed you played a great role in both of their lives. He wondered why he hadn't chosen you to begin with.

It seemed a different approach would be necessary this time. Messing with your mind clearly wasn't going to be the best move. Not like it had been for Chrissy. For Fred. For Patrick. Max.

So He started appearing for you. Showing himself off. Making himself known to you.

God, He was like a shadow.

The first time you'd been in the car with Steve. A glance in the rearview mirror and Vecna was in the backseat. You would've laughed at the odd manner of the situation, if it weren't for the way the monster was looking at you.

Like you were a hindrance.

You'd jumped, causing Steve to jump, but you'd gotten him to brush it off, keep his eyes on the road.

The more Vecna showed up, the more you understood what he was playing at.

He was outside the gym the night of the championship game when you'd gone out to get some air, the bleachers being way too crowded and sweaty for your liking. Billy had offered to go with you, but you knew he was much to invested in Lucas winning the Tigers the game.

You didn't even flinch when you heard that growl--familiar at this point. In fact, you patted your pockets, grabbing hold of the pack of Marlboros and the lighter Billy had shoved in your jacket earlier.

The spark caught, a little flame igniting, and you lit a cigarette. Watched as he made his way towards you. He really was ugly.

"You've ruined everything."

You felt it that time. How Max had described the way Vecna's voice carried.

To you, though, it felt like when someone lights a fuse, when you watch the flame snake up up up. And then it stops. There’s just no boom. It simply feels like the empty space after the firework goes off, the air dead quiet. You thought you could get used to the feeling if need be.

Of course, you didn’t tell anyone about this. About your experiences.

Not like Max had. Like Billy that night last summer when he’d dialed your number, hands sweating and shaking, in the telephone booth.

This wasn’t about you. This was about keeping Hawkins safe. Keeping Max and Eddie safe.

You didn’t tell anyone except Will. You thought he’d understand that instinct to not worry anyone else, and he did. Be able to tell you anything that might help. But then you realized you were burdening him with all of this, and you quit.

But your friends had started to notice when nothing was happening to Max—when she made it past the week mark, when the symptoms had stopped.

No way it was that easy. That, what, Vecna had just given up? No. It was never that simple.

————

“Yeah, yeah, I’m coming.” Steve stomped down the stairs, swung the door open.

He was met with you.

“Why are you sweaty?” Steve propped his arm up against the door frame.

“Don’t worry about it. Where’s the bat?”

“Huh?” Sometimes you thought he really did need to be told everything.

“Nancy’s bat. The one with the nails?” You waved your hands above your head for emphasis. I need to borrow it. Please.”

“That’s my bat.” Steve set his hands on his hips, his most common motherly gesture.

“No, Steve. It’s Nancy’s. You took it at Jonathan’s house, remember? Fuck, okay. That’s not important. Would you just get me the damn thing?”

Steve obliged, though slightly frightened by what you could need it for, but, frankly, he thought you were a badass and could handle whatever it was.

He marched back up the stairs to his room, leaving you in the doorway. You heard him mumble along the way. “Nancy’s bat my ass. ‘S totally my bat. I’ve used it way more.”

————

Will was panicking. He’d always been good at keeping secrets; he did it nearly every day of his life. But he cared about you. You were like a sister to him. And he understood why you’d come to him, and even why you’d stopped, but when Steve called the Byers residence in question of why you might need a bat, he entered full freak-out-mode.

He had this image in his head of you being all alone, trying to fight this thing, and it made him sick. He didn't need to feel for the goosebumps on the back of his neck to know that it wasn't just in his head.

His hands were sweating as he picked up the phone, dialed Max's number.

"Hello?"

"I need to talk to your brother."

"Will? Why do you need to talk to Billy?"

Will could hear muffled music around the sound of Max's voice, so obviously Billy was home.

"It's about Y/N. I think something bad is going to happen. I think she's going to die."

————

Steve lazily rose from the couch, pausing the television. He followed the obsessive knocking once again, raising his hands in surrender though no one could see him. "Alright! Jesus, I'm coming, I'm coming. Can't you people just leave me alone for a while?"

This time, when he swung the door open, he was met with none other than Billy Hargrove. The apparition of such a creature was so odd to him, that Steve laughed. Actually laughed. Billy did not like this.

"Shut the hell up, Harrington." Steve did, but only because he didn't like the look on the blonde's face--like something was wrong. He realized that there was no reason for Billy to be here other than if something was wrong.

"I need your help." Steve had to bite his tongue. This was insane.

"Byers said that Y/N was here tonight, that she's gone off a-and I would fucking rip you a new one for not telling me about this Vecna shit, but I don't have time for that one right now. It's just that you guys have done this before, and I'm not exactly cut out to go off looking for her on my own--"

Steve cut him off, having never seen Billy ramble, or look remotely mentally distressed. "Hey, man, it's totally fine. I'll get a hold of Nancy, and you could go pick up Robin or something--look, we will figure it out, okay? I know this is a lot."

Billy shook his hands out, zipped up his jacket. He didn't like this. Not even a little bit. He wondered if this what it had been like for you when he'd been flayed: the constant buzz of fear, like you were gonna slip and fall away from him.

But he was also angry with you. You told him everything. This meant you'd been keeping something serious from him, and the both of you had worked so hard to get to a solid point in your relationship where all of your cards were on the table, no matter how shitty the hand was.

Sometimes it was just hard to be open.

Billy sat on the steps inside Steve's place, half registering that he was on the phone with Nancy who was simultaneously arguing with Mike.

There'd been a day once, back when he was still recovering, where he was sat on the edge of the tub, you with your knees pressed into the rug below you. You'd rubbed your hands together, trying to warm up the salve before you touched him. Billy's sides had always been ticklish, but that on top of the sensitivity of healing wounds meant you had to be very gentle with him.

Billy had tried to argue that he could do it himself, but he'd lost that battle, and let you at it.

"C'mere," you'd mumbled. You'd distracted him with a kiss while you moved your hands over some of deeper scars just below his ribs. He'd registered your palms being there, but he couldn't find it in himself to give a shit when your kiss told him he'd be okay.

You dipped your fingers back in the tub of medicine, spread them over a scar on his hip. "You're my favorite person in the whole world, Billy Hargrove." He'd scoffed.

"When I said you could tell me anything, I didn't mean cheesy shit like that."

The sound of the receiver being slammed back down snapped Billy out of his reverie.

Steve looked at Billy, put his hands on his hips. "Okay, Hargrove. Let's do this."

————

You'd parked your car a ways off from the quarry, and rock crunched under your feet as you made towards the edge overlooking the water.

This was the best place for you be be alone that you could think of. The moon was full tonight, the light shining over the water. It was beautiful in the way that the lights in the mall had been beautiful that night last summer.

You paced, waiting for him. The bat was heavy in your hand as you swung it back and forth, what with the nails jammed into the wood, listening to the swooshing sound it made in the night air.

You weren't entirely sure why you'd brought it, but the idea of coming out here empty handed felt unbelievably stupid.

Fog was rolling in over the water. Fitting.

And there he was. Big and writhing and evil. An image of Billy screaming flashed through your mind. Vecna had done that. Hurt your pretty baby.

"What are you doing out here, Y/N?"

"Thought we could have a little chat, you and me."

"Is that so? What makes you think you're so special as to get that kind of treatment?"

"Nothing, really. Thought we could make a deal. You seem to like me a whole lot, what with the trauma and all. I was thinking you take me. Leave Max and everyone else alone. I think you've had plenty of fun already."

"Oh, but there's always so much more fun to be had, Y/N."

But you'd caught that shift in his demeanor. Vecna hadn't expected you to give yourself up. Chrissy had run for her daddy. Fred for the hills. Patrick thought his friends could pick up the slack. But you. You were so different. So enticing.

You'd caught Lord Vecna off guard. Eddie would think it astronomically badass.

Your thumb shifted Billy's ring around your middle finger, the other hand still swishing Nancy's bat.

"I think it's pretty solid. Take me and do whatever it is that you think you need to do to feed that ego of yours. But stay the fuck away from my family. They've had enough."

"Yeah they have." Steve's voice. Steve's voice. You turned your head in time to see Billy hand the brunette a lighter before Vecna was alight, struggling for you, for anything.

But he looked shocked at the arrow that pierced his chest, and knocked him backwards. A fucking arrow. It had been Robin. The group of you gathered to watch Vecna fall. It was almost poetic, considering the way Henry had ended up in his alternate dimension.

Not so much when you mumbled, "Where the fuck did you get a bow, Buckley?"

"I tried to take up archery in middle school," she shrugged.

You watched Vecna burn from above, his body having impaled a stalagmite at the edge of the quarry floor. It felt almost ethereal.

You spun around, suddenly remembering that Billy was there. He was looking at you, but he was practically fuming. You hadn't seen him that angry in a long time. The rest of the group noticed, but Steve spoke first. "I think we oughta go make sure he's like, for sure, cooked."

Nancy eased the bat from your hands and smiled before pattering away.

"Billy, I--"

"Don't, Y/N. What the fuck were you thinking coming out here, huh?" He was an animated arguer, a hand gesture accompanying every frustrated word. But you didn't miss the glaze over his eyes. He'd obviously been worried sick.

"Oh, I don't know Billy, maybe that if he took me, that it wouldn't be Max. That it wouldn't be Dustin, or Eddie, or Steve's funeral that I'd be going to. That it wouldn't be fucking you lying dead somewhere!"

You'd moved closer to him in your haste.

"One sacrifice is better than a handful, Billy."

"No, Y/N, it's not!" Billy shouted, his words echoing around you. "If you die and I live, I'd have nothing. You have people that depend on you."

Billy's words knocked the wind out of you. You couldn't breathe.

"Billy."

"It's different for you. Your family needs you. Nobody needs me."

You stepped in front of him, taking his hand in yours. "I do. I need you."

A tear slipped down Billy's cheek, and you reached out to hold his face. He leaned into the weight of your palm, trying to control his breathing.

"Were you ever gonna tell me that you felt this way?" You asked him.

"Were you gonna tell me about Max or this Vecna creep or that you obviously thought it was okay for you to go off getting yourself killed?"

"Billy."

"Tell me. I need to know."

"Billy, I think you've got it all wrong. If I die, the rest of the group will go on. Steve and Robin and all of the kids. It doesn't make a difference if I'm here or not. I thought that by doing this, I could somehow fix it for them. For you. Make sure that your lives would be somehow different. Safer. That I'd be worth something."

"But you are. To me. You think I keep you around for no reason, Y/N? It's not like I love you or I need you or anything?"

"Yeah but I'm sure you c--"

"No, I fucking couldn't. There's no one else out there for me. Not one as good as you. As badass. You were shit talking him, weren't you?"

Billy laughed, but that didn't stop the tears laving over his freckles.

"Yeah. But, Billy, you gotta know that Max needs you. That Lucas needs you. Who's gonna teach him to be better than Steve, huh? Robin needs you. She wants to grow out a mullet, you know. I need you, Billy."

Billy wrapped his arms around your back, firm and warm.

"We're such fucking losers."

"Welcome to the club!" Robin's voice made you jump, and Billy's hand absentmindedly rubbed your back to soothe you.

"Shit, Rob! How long have you guys been back up here?"

"Long enough to hear all about your shared trauma." Nancy said, clapping her hands together happily.

Billy rolled his eyes and kissed you, his lips chapped and a little salty, but comforting nonetheless. He couldn't give a shit if Robin was making gagging noises behind him.

God, the two of you were so fucked up. But you were more than happy to be fucked up together.

————

please let me know if you liked this! feedback is always appreciated!! comments and reblogs mean more than you know. <33

tagging just to be safe: @zaypay

[zaevauhm]

Rain Drabble

you’re an f1 driver, partnered up with lewis, a crash happens that brings you close to your biggest rival

word count 1.5k

mentions of accidents + sex

sidenote: this was a dream I had a year ago, and my friend asked me to write it all out ahhahshs,

i am not a max fan (dont necessarily dislike him either) but yeah, enjoy my loves

Rain. Lots of it was pouring down, straight into the Red Bull Ring. Completely zoned out, you watched it pour down the windows, as the last fans with worried expressions on their faces were making their way out of the circuit. You were sitting in a conference room, Lewis to your left and Max to your right. Christian and Toto fighting each other right in front of you. What were they even yelling so hard for? And why couldn’t you stay with the medics for a little longer, again? It felt like your head was slowly being ripped from your body. The pain was starting to kick in badly, as the adrenaline wore off. Still, it felt like you would pass out any minute by now. It was so hard to keep your eyes open.

There had been an accident, either Max or Lewis, your teammate, had squeezed you into the wall at a certain point, without a thing you could have done about it. Numb and frozen in those milliseconds, you allowed the car to fly into the wall at 250 km/h, you in it.

Toto was furious, banging the table in front of you, having Lewis trying to calm him down. ‘’This is completely unacceptable! It is obvious that your boy is the one who caused it, Christian, just look at the fucking footage!’’ He ranted and ranted. You noticed an apologetic Max opening his mouth, before immediately being shut down by his team principal, with nothing more than a face that screamed thunder. ‘’That nearly fucking killed my driver, Christian. Measures need to be taken. It can’t go on like this. I can’t send her out again, risking her life in every lap just because your boy doesn’t know how to keep his distance.’’

It felt as if the meeting took hours, your pains only increasing. Lewis gestured for you to lean against him, but it was the last thing that you wanted. Your on-off relationship with your teammate was something you’d rather forget about, completely. He wanted to keep you a secret, so be it. As you stared back out of the windows, you noticed that Max caught your eyes. You stared him dead in the eyes, for a moment before he whispered to you softly. ‘’I’m really sorry.’’

‘’I know.’’ You gestured, beneath your breath.

Lewis noticed, as he was watching your every movement. He leaned back in his chair, obviously displeased by the fact that there was any communication between you and your rival. You couldn’t care less about his feelings at this point.

Finally, several hours later, you were released of everything. You had showered, changed, and took some more pain killers. It was nighttime by now, the circuit dimmed. Most drivers were inside of their motorhomes, resting or still having brief conversations.

You walked by yourself, keeping your eyes on the ground, holding a water bottle under your right arm, squeezing it against your ribs, as well as your medical files. You were feeling completely drained, tired, wanting nothing more than to lay your head down and sleep for days. The soreness in your back and neck was almost unbearable. You took your phone out, 11:39 PM. 8 Missed calls, Lewis. You locked your phone again and put it back in the back pocket of your jeans.

You got interrupted from your thoughts as someone bumped into you, quite roughly. ‘’Watch where you’re going you piece of…’’ You couldn’t finish your sentence as you noticed who was in front of you. Broad shoulders, a bit taller than you, piercing blue eyes staring you down. Max.

‘’You pushing me into the wall just doesn’t do it for you, huh? You had to make sure to knock me over here as well.’’ Your tone dead serious, although you didn’t mean to come across as angry, not necessarily. It was too late anyway, and frankly, he deserved it.

‘’I thought you weren’t mad at me anymore.’’

You raised one eyebrow at the Red Bull driver, utterly confused. ‘’Just watch where you’re going next time, you might actually keep us alive.’’ You spilled, before walking off towards your motorhome.

‘’Y/N.’’ A voice echoed right behind you, as you walked up the stairs, about to enter through the front door. It was almost completely dark at this part of the circuit. Without a single soul in sight, the familiar voice startled you. ‘’What do you want from me?’’ You looked over your shoulder, down at him.

You had never actually spoken to him, nor did he ever linger in your mind. You didn’t know him at all, why was he suddenly following you around? He had already apologized, after all.

‘’May I?’’ He asked, waiting for your permission to follow you up the stairs. You nodded, still zoned out, as he slowly walked towards you, before standing awfully close in front of you. Was he trying to intimidate you? If so, it was slightly working.

‘’I wanted to apologize.’’

‘’You already have, Max. It’s fine.’’ You tried to shake him, but he wouldn’t have it.

‘’Properly.’’

Your eyes widened, as you knew exactly what he meant. Was he being serious?

He took all of your stuff out of your hands and placed it on the table next to your door.

Slowly, he made his way back towards you. Step by step, you stepped back until your back was leaning against the glass window of your motorhome. His breath was awfully close to your neck now, sending shivers down your back. What was it about him?

You gasped when you felt his lips touch your bare neck, as if you hadn’t been touched for years. He took his head back, examining you, smiling at you devilishly. He was everything Lewis wasn’t. The polar opposite, in fact. Maybe that was it? Maybe you longed for something different, after years of being with Lewis in secret. Well, he was willing to give it to you.

He allowed himself to come close to you again. ‘’Does that feel good?’’ He whispers onto your lips, making you smile a little. ‘’Yes.’’ You just noticed how big he was in comparison to yourself, his body was blocking any view you had before by now.

He grabbed your waist and pulled you closer onto him, gently squeezing you in the process. He slowly made his way to your chest, leaving a trail of kisses as he went down, before releasing you from your jeans, your phone falling down with it. He looked up at you, asking for permission again before pressing soft kisses onto your thighs. His eyes sparkled something in you, that left you wanting him to do with you as he pleased.

He continued kissing your thighs, before gently pulling your string to the side, leaving you filled with anticipation. You were surprised to learn that he actually knew what he was doing. You felt his tongue drawing circles around your entrance, soft moans leaving your mouth as your hands were clinging to the glass behind you. Did you just hear something move inside of your home? He lifted his head up a little, licking you from entrance to top, making your legs weak. Suddenly, he got up, roughly turning you around and pushing your face onto the glass, pulling your arms behind you. You gasped. ‘’So this is what it’s like to be Hamilton.’’ His voice was filled with anger. You gasped within yourself. The fact that he knew, somehow, was something that couldn’t bother you at that moment. You wanted more. He entered you with two of his fingers, deeply, making you curve your ass up towards him. You moaned, leaning your head back against his shoulder. ‘’This is what he gets to taste, huh?’’ He whispered into your neck, making you even weaker. He stopped his movements, forcing you to answer him. ‘’Tell me.’’

‘’Yes.’’ You moaned, shyly. For sure your cheeks were bright red by now. The mixture of pleasure with the amount of pain killers and medication the medics had pumped you full of, left you in a strange, unknown state of mind. You loved being touched by him, somebody other than Lewis. He shook you from your thoughts as he sped up, getting you close to the point of orgasming right there. Your phone was staring right at you, lingering on the floor, as Lewis’ caller ID was shown on the screen. It just made you feel shyer than ever, the fact that two men wanted you more than anything, at the same time. And which men… They hated eachothers’ guts. ‘’Are you going to listen to me?’’ His voice filled the atmosphere around you. You nodded, slowly. ‘’I want to see you cum.’’ He whispered as you saw him looking down in the reflection, to your phone. You did, Max holding you firmly, feeling how weak he had gotten you. It felt as if you got your senses back, right there in that moment, leaving you confused and wanting to run. ‘’I’m sorry, I have to go inside.’’ You stumbled, as he grabbed you by your arms, making you face him. ‘’It’s okay, you don’t owe me anything. I just wanted to make you feel good. Also, no one is hearing about this.’’

‘’Okay.’’ You trusted him.

You opened your door; Max still right behind you, as your breath got stuck into your throat, almost bumping back onto him as you saw who was staring you down from behind the glass. Lewis.

[reverie-starlight]

Bestie, my love, light of my life (for reals :( ) I’m in my thoughts™️ thinking about atsumu being like. Super, always prepared with a plan b whenever your plans get changed bc he never wants to disappoint you and I’m soft smh 🥺🧡 going above and beyond to make you happy; pls feel free to feed me because the brainrot is so real????

gn!reader, pure fluff <3, but mentions of anxiety and feelings of helplessness but like very minor. no angst.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

UMMM OKAY YES. as someone who absolutely hates and does not respond well to change, i would be sososososo appreciative of this??? i really drew from personal experiences here- 

like?? he would so totally have a plan b because he knows you don’t like it when the things you planned together don’t go the way you wanted, he knows it makes you anxious when things you thought you had control over get seemingly ripped away from you by the universe. 

but he knows you never end up making plan b’s on your own because once you get excited about something, you let yourself think there’s no way it could end up not happening. and you know you shouldn’t set yourself up for disappointment, but it’s so easy to forget about a plan b when you’ve figured out everything to perfection.

which means he makes sure you both have a back up plan so you still feel like there’s a sense of security when it doesn’t go to plan. 

(a smol sidenote abt the lengths atsumu would go for you: if he could, he would totally take on the fates in a fist fight if it meant keeping a smile on your face forever.)

he doesn’t always need to come up with a backup plan but he has one anyway!!

the night before he has to use his plan b for the first time, you're sitting in bed and excitedly rambling on about everything you're going to do the next day ( for the third time that week since you planned it) as he gets ready for bed.

he has a smile on his face that you don't see because you're staring up at the ceiling instead. "okay so we're going to wake up early and head to the café for breakfast, then the zoo, because it shouldn't be busy on a week day... and after that I thought we could head over to that new photo op place with the cool backgrounds and take some cute pictures. it's been a while since we've done our own mini photoshoot. does that sound okay, 'tsum?"

"it sounds perfect, baby, thank you again for planning it all out."

you give him a shy smile and shake your head a bit. "it's nothing, I'm just glad you're going to enjoy it too. it's not often we both have a day off together, so I wanted it to be perfect."

except the next morning you head out only to find that the café you wanted to try out was closed. you frowned, but atsumu just took your hand and lead you back to the car. "it's okay! I know another place we can go, it's not too far out of the way. you'll like it, I promise."

you debated for a second, not sure if you should just wait for it to open or go along with your boyfriend's idea. but ultimately he convinced you that it was much better than throwing your schedule off by a couple of hours.

he heard you sigh as you got into the car and shook off the minor setback. it was one thing, surely the rest of the day will go as planned, you reasoned with yourself and turned up the music a bit, wanting to sing along with atsumu as he drove.

thankfully you ended up adoring the place your boyfriend suggested, and you were in much better spirits the next time you got in the car.

you weren't aware, but he was happy that the first part of his backup plan came in handy.

the next item on your list was the zoo. you were ready to walk off your meals and look at some cool animals, now, but the second you arrived in the parking lot, it started to rain.

and not just a light drizzle, either, it was pouring.

"what?!" you yelled, "I checked the weather three times yesterday and once before we left, it wasn't supposed to rain! I mean, I brought umbrellas just in case, anyway, but we can't walk in this!"

you looked so distraught that atsumu reached over to rub your arm. "baby, it's alright! here- we can sit in the car for ten minutes and if it doesn't let up anytime soon, I have an idea for what we can do instead."

a whine escaped your mouth. "but 'tsum, our plans-"

"it'll all be okay, y/n/n, I promise. do ya trust me?"

you nodded and gripped his hand. he brought them up to his mouth and kissed the back of yours a few times. "I know you wanted everything to be perfect, but don't let a couple changes in our plans ruin your mood, alright, sweetheart? anything I do with you is perfect for me."

"you are disgustingly sweet, I love you so much," you laughed at him as he let out a shocked sound.

ten minutes later, the rain still hadn't let up and he drove you over to the aquarium a few blocks away. truthfully, when he found out you'd both have a day off together he had planned out his own day for the two of you just in case something like this happened. he'd never tell you unless you explicitly asked, but it was something he always did for you.

and thankfully, his plans weren't so different than your own. café, then animal themed attraction. then a mini photoshoot (because he knew you were getting antsy with all the "fan" accounts of his bringing up how you guys never post each other anymore so it must either be a PR thing or a breakup). then home for dinner and hopefully lots of cuddles after.

he pulled into the parking lot and he noticed your eyes light up a bit. "the aquarium? atsumu, you genius!"

he grinned and sat a bit straighter in the driver's seat. you were never shy about complimenting him or feeding into his ego.

after parking the car and reaching for the umbrellas, he glanced at you. "get ready to run, there were no spots open close to the entrance."

you nodded and got out of the car, undoing your umbrella and making a mad dash for the building. the both of you were laughing the whole time, earning some stares from bystanders.

once you were inside, you purchased your tickets and made your way through. atsumu would never admit this either, because he hated to see you disappointed, but he was glad the zoo didn't work out. now he got to see your eyes shine brighter, both with excitement and the reflection of the water from the tanks as you stared at the sharks in awe.

it was safe to say he definitely admired you more than the sea life.

you left the aquarium a few hours later happy and holding a stuffed dolphin that he insisted on buying you from the gift shop. you glanced up at the sky before stepping out from underneath the entrance. "it stopped raining, finally."

he took your hand and made way to the car. "photo op place next?"

you nodded and got in the driver's seat. "my turn to drive, you don't know how to get there."

"GPS exists, baby."

you gave him a deadpan look. "last time we used GPS we were half an hour late to your brother's dinner reservations because you insisted you knew a faster route."

"in my defense I didn't think there would be so much construction."

"mhm, just let me drive."

"...fine."

twenty minutes later, you were trying not to pop a blood vessel while you spoke to the lady at the reception desk. "but there's nothing on your website about needing to make a reservation! it literally says that walk-ins are an option!"

"I'm very sorry, but there's a limit to how many people can enter the rooms at a time and we're at max capacity right now. the next available time we can get you in is next week, if that's alright."

you wanted to cry. atsumu could see you struggling to stay calm and quickly sent the lady a charming smile. "no, that's alright, but thank you anyway! have a nice day."

when you got back to the car, you finally gave in to the stress that had been building up all day. you were thankful that atsumu always had a solution to your issues that worked out, but you felt so out of control now that literally everything you planned for the day had gone wrong.

tears welled up in your eyes and atsumu rubbed your back. "it's okay, baby, let it out."

"I just wanted our day together to go smoothly, and I know you said earlier you were happy with anything but I had it all planned, 'tsum. and it ended up being a really nice day, I'm happy about that, but I feel so useless! I hate it when things don't go to plan."

"I know, sweetheart, I'm sorry what ya had planned didn't end up happening, it's frustrating. I hate seein' ya disappointed, but think about it- we stayed on theme with what ya originally had planned. it didn't differ too much."

you shrugged and nodded a bit. "I guess..."

he wiped away a tear and kissed your cheek. "can I take over one last time? we can still do our photoshoot. I know a real pretty place, much better than whatever this place had to offer for sure. and then dinner and what we watch tonight is all your pick."

you glanced at him and nodded, attempting a small smile. "sure, 'tsum... thank you. this might have been a lot worse if you hadn't been here. I appreciate you, you know how to make me feel more secure in moments like this. I love you."

he winked and smiled back at you. "anything for the love of my life."

fine, maybe things hadn't totally gone to plan, but you were learning to let go of that. you trusted atsumu, so you just had to trust that everything would be okay so long as he was involved. he always made sure of it.

(and in the end you got some really amazing pictures that definitely silenced those accounts saying you broke up. obviously no one would assume that after atsumu posted a... just slightly too-hot-for-instagram photo of the two of you posing with his hands all over you in front of some roses...and then one more from the very end of the night when you were cuddled up in bed.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I... kinda don't love how this turned out I won't lie. I don't hate it, but I'm scared I didn't do it justice, I'm so sorry emmy!! but regardless, I hope you enjoyed, this prompt was SO CUTE!!! and thank you for sending it innnn <333

have a nice day everyone :)

pls consider reblogging, it helps me out <3

[catihere]

Ethan feels stupid. He understands perfectly well that this is pointless and useless, a waste of resources and stupid anxiety of his mother. Kore was just like him, born with a purpose and born to die doing it. She accepted her fate bravely and humbly, raising her head and looking into the eyes of her death. She didn't ask to be saved, and she didn't dissuade Alabaster from trying to protect her like a baby just because it was useless and this would further inflame the protective instincts of the son of Hecate. Al was a stubborn little asshole. But nevertheless, he stood here in the old, dilapidated temple of his mother Nemesis and burned his offerings for her in a large bonfire - good beef, fresh fruits, sweet honey cakes and high-quality, like Italian cheeses. Incense burned pleasantly filling the ancient room with its fragrance. The wine given to him by the children of Dionysus himself was poured into the ground near the temple. Ethan spoke only when he felt the weighting of the atmosphere and the ghostly smell of cigarette smoke from the very cigarettes his mother smoked. "Mother, Lady of Harmony," he tried to speak confidently, "They say about you that you are able to influence fate, controlling luck and failure... could you show your favor to Kore Pythia Hayashi, daughter of Apollo and our oracle." The atmosphere had softened a bit, but it still remained strong. His mother listened to him and was not angry, Ethan felt some relief. "She's not arrogant, she does so much for us, she helps a lot and tries her best, she got so much bad luck in life starting from the ability she got from Apollo and ending with her early death... Mother, please could you give her some luck?". His mother's voice above his ear is a calm and measured whisper: Son my, her fate is predetermined, but still I'll try something.

•Ethan prays to his mom to help Kore in some way, he just can't sit back and watch his friend approach his death.

•Poor Ethan, he bought these luxurious offerings for his mother at a super expensive supermarket full of rich spoiled snobs. He had to literally put up with those who are his natural enemies.

•Yes, Nemesis pulled some strings and played some role in the fact that Kote was reborn as Aelia.

@kore-pythia-hayashi

OH MY GOODNESS I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS

Ethan’s narrative voice is sooo on point, you are absolutely nailing his POV. I imagined this scene very vividly; it’s certainly something he would do. He would not bear to pass to his death knowing that he did nothing to help his friend, the best way he could. He’s extremely keen on making a change, no matter how much he’ll cost him, and he obviously loves his friend and feels both pity and admiration for her.

I love the idea of Nemesis listening to his continuous prayers and taking a part in reincarnating Kore as Aelia. (Sidenote: I’m sure Hecate did too, she’s a necromantic and Orphic goddess and I’m certain that she continued watching over her girl even in death)

Lastly, I really want to point out how funny is too me to imagine Ethan shopping in one of those fancy places full of mortal snobs. My bro is HOLDING HIMSELF BACK from burning that place down. Oh, what doesn’t he do for his friends?

I love this so much, I feel infinitely lucky that you share your amazing work with me. And I’m sorry that my reply took so long, my little sibling distracted me again…

[zmediaoutlet]

Happy wincest wednesday!

How do you think their relationship would have progressed if the events after s2 didn't happen (aka sam not dying and dean not dying)? would they always be as tight of a unit as they were in s2 or would sam eventually seek "independence" like he did when he went with ruby (or was that because of the demon blood)? Also do you think sam would've reacted to dean coming back to life differently (less cool about it) if he weren't using his powers but being "old sam"?

(does that make sense)

hello, hello, anonymous wincest friend! i know you sent this in plenty of time but it has Been A Week and so i'm just getting to it --

-- sidenote i know that wednesday is the day for wincest but i hope everyone feels thrilled to be wincesty on any day that we can manage, yes? yes. okay, so --

This is a really interesting question, friend anon. In a sense this is like -- imagine myself back in 2007 when people were writing early-years wincest, contextless, without the weight of the future and also without the weight of the deepened past that we got over the many years of actual canon information. That's really hard to do, haha! But I'll try, for wincest saturday. Although this is a two-part imagining, so, let's see-- let's take the second part first:

How would Sam have reacted to Dean coming back to life in s4 if he hadn't been using his powers?

Very interesting question. Part of the question inherent in that is: is he still working with Ruby? I think we might have to say no -- her whole job is to corrupt him with hubris, and how would she manage to cling on if she doesn't have the excuse of ""helping him"" by getting him to use his powers? So we'll imagine a world where -- whatever, Sam stabs her with her own knife when she shows up -- and that sobers him up a little from his grief spiral, and of course he's still trying to figure out a way to bring Dean back, and maybe he's still even looking for Lilith, but he hasn't spun off onto that path-of-good-intentions that made so many things go wrong in s4.

So -- Sam's still had a hard goddamn summer, but he's not got that early corruption set in. Maybe still talking to Bobby. And one day he opens up his motel room -- he ordered pizza and he's tired and his leads keep petering out -- and there's Dean, standing there, Bobby over his shoulder, and Sam's luck is never this good so of course it's a shapeshifter or a demon or a -- and of course, it is Dean, and that means -- it means --

I don't know if you'd be able to peel them apart, honestly. Bobby'd start getting uncomfortable. ...My 'stick to canon' heart is elbowing me to remind me of how in s6 when Sam got resouled, Dean was perfectly happy to go off and do a case without him, but I really do think this'd be different. Sam would have been operating on a possibly Mystery Spot-esque emptiness and lack of hope and Dean coming back pours light and color back into his life in a way that the demon blood/Ruby/corruption path he was on just didn't allow. Of course he was happy in canon to have Dean back, but killing Lilith had become the main goal that overshadowed Dean's return bc Ruby needed that to be true, and here it wouldn't be. And that just. Does a lot. If they hadn't already consummated the wincest, strong chance a first time would happen within that first month back.

What if Sam and Dean didn't die and instead just kept 'normally hunting', presumably still after avenging John & Mary by killing Azazel since those are the events of s2?

So this is yet another world. I suppose if Sam doesn't die that means that he's the 'winner' of the Special Kids olympics. Whether he opens the devil's gate or not, the trouble with Sam not dying means that Dean doesn't sell his soul, and if Dean doesn't sell his soul he can't go to hell as the righteous man who will start the apocalypse, which means Lilith doesn't get killed at the right time, which means that they aren't the vessels of angels and none of that terrible shit happens. And so, without all that...

If the apocalypse doesn't happen, and they're just hunting and cleaning up demons and getting on with their lives, I think... they break up. Not necessarily in a super sad way, and not even necessarily angry. But there's no reason for them to stick together, not really. Maybe Sam meets some girl, in some town. Maybe going back to college seems feasible. There'll always be another ghost, another werewolf, and the thing is that now we're past s2 and they know so many other hunters, it doesn't feel like the end of the world if they find a job and pass it on to someone else, you know? Hell, maybe Dean wants to settle down, slow down. He never was as bought in on the hunting as he actually seemed. But -- in the same way that I always hold firm to the opinion that they make themselves into soulmates -- without all the shitty, scary things that happen to them over the middle years -- their soulmate status isn't actually there. They're still tied together by history and love, but it's a thinner weaker connection than it would be in s5, s7, s11. So Sam goes back to law school. Dean opens his own roadhouse. They talk, they maybe even still go on hunts occasionally. They're good brothers. They aren't more.

Healthier, probably. More fun for me? Absolutely not, lol.

[fille-lioncelle]

I posted 2,167 times in 2022

56 posts created (3%)

2,111 posts reblogged (97%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@sevenpoints

@sequencefairy

@aimmyarrowshigh

@savvylikeyeahhh

@uneventfulhouses

I tagged 2,085 of my posts in 2022

Only 4% of my posts had no tags

#watcher - 193 posts

#ryan bergara - 151 posts

#heartstopper - 145 posts

#shane madej - 130 posts

#ryan and shane - 111 posts

#fandom is awesome - 108 posts

#spoilers - 89 posts

#l'art pour l'art - 87 posts

#amazing - 73 posts

#charlie and nick - 70 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#can i do it when i'm like 85 and in case i come out in a completely different time period it's fine cause granny was gonna die soon anyway?

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Guys. Please. How do I unpin a post. 😭😭😭 I cannot figure it out.

8 notes - Posted August 21, 2022

#4

Saw The Batman.

Things that movie did:

make me hold my breath

make me cry

make me giggle and kick my feet in delighted excitement

it right

8 notes - Posted March 11, 2022

#3

Okay, so, admittedly I hadn't watched Goncharov until, like, yesterday. It's one of those films you hear about but it just never sounded like my thing, you know?

Anyway, I watched it because I found the whole "loss of identity" thing Tumblr has been talking about really interesting, especially with Sofia and Katya, but then when I saw it it really struck me how I hadn't seen a lot of this talk about Goncharov and he's literally Goncharov! The reason for the season, baby!

I think part of the reason we're maybe all eating this up right now is because it's it just loss of identity, it's active rejection of it. Not of identity as such but of a specific identity he feels locked into.

The whole chapter where he takes Katya home to the village and you get this sense that people there are both afraid of him but also kind of still treat him like the boy he was when he left? His mother is the only character I think we ever see call him "Luca"! You wouldn't even know the guy had a first name! (Sidenote, love that that was Scorsese's mom.) (Sidenote to the sidenote: have we considered Goncharov as fictionalised autobiography cause I have thoughts.)

Anyway, Goncharov in Posianna is Luca. He's very big fish in a small pond, or at least he fears that's all he's ever going to be if he stays - so he leaves for Naples back when, meets Katya (and Andrey!) etc etc - goes to Moscow - and then returns. But at every stage he keeps having to work harder and harder to convince people he's this tough guy, right? He keeps having to prove himself and not just to other people, but, I think, crucially, to himself! It's like a fake it till you make it in mirrorverse because there's this sense of this not being where he "should" end up (and then we also already know that the stuff with Andrey is still coming up and how that's gonna go). It feels like he keeps trying to make the mythos of himself bigger and bigger because he's measuring himself against some sort of weird ideal that keeps outgrowing him. And, like, who can't relate, eh, generation of "you can be anything!".

On that note - I find it really interesting that Katya is kind of his foil here. She starts in Moscow but she keeps yearning for smaller places, but then once she gets there, she hates it. She could never be happy in Posianna. She actually needs the bigger ponds. (And Sofia.)

Anyway. It's not a fully formed analysis or anything, just something that kept nagging at me while I watched it. And maybe I'm just projecting but I find the deliberate construction of the self vs. the "authentic" finding of the self an interesting thought.

10 notes - Posted November 21, 2022

#2

Multifandom December Fic Countdown

Yup. We're doing this again.

Look. This marks the 10th year I'm doing this. I can't not.

-- Whaaaat, I hear you say. How old are you?? Shush.

Tempting as it is, because I am weirdly competitive about the most useless things and also let's not lie, there's always a pet fandom, it feels weird to break with tradition in this, the anniversary year, and fandom-lock my prompts.

So, I'll be using @skepticbeliever-bookclub's lovely prompt list, but I'm opening the list up to any and all fandoms you've seen me reblog stuff for. If you want to ask for something else, just give it a shot! I may or may not treat Watcher requests preferentially on account of abovementioned competitiveness and favouritism but I'll try to hold back on that.

-- But wait, you say. There's only 24 prompts on that list! Correct, I say. I'm adding 7 wild card prompts for AFTER these 24 are done. So I'm giving definite preferential treatment to those 24 but the other 7 are entirely up to you on a first-come-first-serve basis.

I've also reblogged @aimmyarrowshigh's Hannukah bingo - if you give me a prompt that fits that either in combination with one of the 24 or as a wild card, I'm also giving it preferential treatment. As I am not Jewish (or even Jew-ish) though, I ask for goodwill and patience with my fills.

The usual set up applies: I'm not here for rape, abuse, or death fic in this month and I aim for about 1k per fill.

Any other questions, just shoot me an ask or a message.

Without further ado!

Candlelight

Ghost

Ring

Chestnuts

Evergreen

Cosy

Scarf

Hot Cocoa

Cold Toes

Hope

Quiet

Family

Joy

Cider

Snowman

Night In

Candy Cane

Tradition

Eggnog

See the full post

11 notes - Posted November 29, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Just a heads up: if you read Heartstopper fic, someone has been posting deliberately horrific stuff (so far I've only seen two stories) clearly meant to upset people to the AO3 tag. I'm not sure reporting them will go anywhere since it's all technically labelled correctly from what I can tell without actually reading it? But they also are arguably being homophobic in graphically violent fictional ways so. Maybe??? Hopefully they'll get bored of being a miserable person and simply leave.

Just, if you want to avoid seeing it, exclude the warnings (particularly rape, graphic violence, and death) from your search and proceed as normal.

18 notes - Posted May 24, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[all-seeing-ifer]

top five angel episodes 🔫🤭

oh you think you're being funny? you think you're being funny miles? well jokes on you angel is a good show sometimes and I can prove it! (sidenote I'm only a couple episodes into season 5 in my rewatch so that's why there's no season 5 episodes here)

Birthday - hehe it's that one episode that you watched and really liked, and you were RIGHT. obviously cordy is my favourite part of the show (pour one out season 5 is so sad for me) so I'm biased towards episodes that focus on her, but I also think this one is just genuinely really excellent. an amazing conclusion to the cordy's killer visions plotline that just does it in such a fun and engaging way with the whole "cordy gets to live out her dream life" plot point. also while it's not the most important part of the episode the baby connor era is (mostly) one of the favourite parts of the show and I enjoy that this episode has plenty of that

Are you now or have you ever been - haunted houses (hotels)... flashbacks bleeding into the present.... a mccarthy-era cold war setting... themes of paranoia and the potential for human cruelty.... gunn becoming a part of the angel investigations team... "this is a place of evil" "not anymore"... they actually made this one for me specifically they sat down in the year 2000 and said we need to write this episode specifically so a weird little guy called isabel who won't be born for a couple months will lose their fucking mind over it

The Pylea arc - cheating by combining like 3 episodes into one but I think the Pylea episodes specifically are connected enough for it to be understandable. not the most thematically deep or character focused of the show's episodes but it's just such good campy fun, man!!! getting to see the angel investigations team take part in this delightfully ridiculous high fantasy pastiche is so... it's just so fun!! and charming!!! and cordy gets declared princess of a hell dimension!! and lorne spends like a third of the arc as a literal talking head!! and we meet fred!!!! I love fred wish she didn't end up just getting reduced to love triangle fodder!!! it's just a really great time overall and honestly a much needed breather after how dark and angsty the rest of season 2 got

To Shanshu in LA - the episode that caused me to become Very Autistic about this show. angel investigations are a FAMILY and I LOVE THEM!!!! cordy buys angel art supplies bc she wants him to get a hobby bc she CARES ABOUT HIM. AND SHE TELLS HIM NOT TO FEEL EMBARRASSED ABOUT DRINKING BLOOD IN FRONT OF HIS FAMILY!!! it's fine i'm normal about it. also (surprising I'm sure from the guy behind the 9k pinocchio themed cordy and angel tax benefits marriage fic) I find the whole concept of the shanshu prophecy and angel's desire to become human again incredibly compelling, so this one really got the cogs in my brain turning

Orpheus - the fact that angel and faith friendship means enough to me that I'm willing to include a season 4 episode here really says it all. yes you do have to ignore everything with cordy and connor in this episode in order to enjoy it and I'm aware that that's a bit of a tall order, BUT faith and angel's little trip through the mindscape together is so good that for once I'm willing to let it slide! (though actually it does pain me to say this but the joke where fred asks the others if they think cordy and connor's relationship is a bit messed up and then it cuts to cordy (or fake cordy, rather) telling connor he needs to kill his dad did get a laugh out of me. i didn't want it to, but shoutout to mere smith for writing the one moment in this entire storyline that I kind of liked) BACK TO THE GOOD STUFF obviously faith's interactions with angel/angelus are excellent (like it's crazy how well the angelus stuff in season 4 suddenly starts working as soon as he's played off against faith SORRY I'M VEERING CLOSE TO JUST COMPLAINING ABOUT SEASON 4 AGAIN I PROMISE I REALLY DO LIKE ORPHEUS), faith making the choice to keep living and keep fighting to be better instead of accepting her death, the "I'm dying" "It's a lot easier than redemption, huh?" "I did my time" "Our time is never up, Faith" dialogue (GIRLS WHEN SHOW THESIS STATEMENTS) AUGHGGH. THEY MEAN SO MUCH TO ME. also willow's cameo is very fun and I enjoy watching her flirt with fred :)

[lord-shitbox]

gozumezu thought dump. you are not prepared for the word count on this one

^me looking at a picture of a katana (gozu has one of those)

he has 2 japanese swords hes only drawn with one in his first several manga appearances but hes got 2 in the later cameo towards the climax of the uhhh. spiral palace arc? where kuroumaru says hes got a crush on tsurara. the anime gave him 2 always.

anyway thinking SOOOO hard about mezu behaving in fucked up ways. i think his puppetry is solid Hatsu level but what about Hyoui (invocation & possession fear/osore) levels). the fear that cuts through fear. I think his puppetry doesn't work by physically forcing his. puppetees(??) to move around so much as it controls their minds... like:

that yokai professor he was puppeting at the very first rikuo goes to nejireme / umerakuen arc in volume 2: he was able to control what the dude was saying by speaking himself, and when he detached the strings the guy "woke up," confused by his location

when he puppets torii and maki, they are put in a dazed/unthinking state

just went back and squinted at the gozumezu spy arc (ch 37+) i think Gangi-Kozou was gozumaru's brainwashing chant, actually..

regardless like. I think his fear strings take over his puppets' brains & force them to move their muscles rather than literally pull their limbs into place like inanimate puppets in real life behave. speech wouldn't be possible otherwise & it explains the lack of consciousness in his puppets.

notes..offensive mezu abilities.....

I have to add this in: the "anti-yokai wards" in the ANIME were talismans placed by mezu against non-gyuki yokai [because the resort is actually run by the Gyuki clan] but in the MANGA it's a whole metal garage door to physically block invaders because the resort belongs to Kiyotsugu's family & hes rich. Negoro and Uwajima smash it open. so I don't consider the talismans to be anything relevant

ability to control corpses? they don't have minds but nerve impulses could be simulated... it would take like. a LOT of energy though. a living person has energy in their body to generate muscle contractions n shit because theyre alive. dead people dont though. maybe it'd be easier to puppet a corpse to move so violently their body starts falling apart than it would be to do that to a living person. thatd compensate for the extra energy itd take

transform the material properties of the strings to be like needles /spikes or wires capable of cutting?

gozu's brainwashing chant is underrated & something the anime cut out, actually, so im like the only fucker thats up and caring about it ,

i think mezu becoming a strong strategist would also be nice & in compliance with his position in the clan in canon. he commands the ushi-oni corps (sidenote ushi-oni is the exact same kanji as Gyuki, gyuki is just read as a compounded word & ushi-oni is read like the kanji are standalones) & also has the job of Control Gozu as the vice- young head of the gyuki clan. i think his silly charisma would make for an interesting dynamic with the rest of the warriors in the faction, even tho NONE OF THEM ARE SHOWN it's implied they're ruthless like Gyuki & Gozumaru. having some silly guy who's not even that strong command you might lead to some resentment, & ithnk mezu maintaining his position despite not being particularly strong on ihs own would b interesting...

a few ways i think someone dissenting against him could go. 1) mezu puppets other members of the clan against the dissenter. 2) the rest of the clan is like "shut up man he's our silly little guy." 3) gozu pulls up & is like "shut up man he's MY silly little guy (deputy younghead) hes working here to help ME out." 4) gyuki i think would be like "you doubt my judgement?" with a really scary glare & if they continue to oppose him he either challenges them to a duel or makes gozu do it.

anyways. new train of thought

mt nejireme is probably rigged to shit and back with traps. mezu pours marbles down the stairs type shit. rikuo's probably grown out of traps now that hes 12/13 instead of 8 but he would probably have fun setting them with mezu

12 yr old day rikuo is trying too hard to be normal & doesnt want to inconvenience everyone but i think end of manga rikuo is probably restabilizing as a Happily Weird individual & would be down with pranks again. night rikuo would participate & be like. what hey who did that. not me. wow mustve been the wind

similarly i think gozumezu 14 yrs old era would be living hell (really funny) they would get into NASTY arguments like gyuki throws them out because they dont shut the fuck up level bad. mezu would go "visit" the main house (he'd bring gifts, bought with gyuki's credit card, which is ok because it's for the main house and appropriate :> gyuki wont mind [he's right]) and have a generally nice time hanging out there. gozumaru would be miserable though hed be like FINE ill be on my OWN. living on the streets for a while kind of miserable. i think it'd be interesting if he wound up at that one Tengu's place... the forest near Kyoto where Rikuo has another training arc with Gyuki. He'd go train with that guy for a while before eventually going back home to Gyuki and saying sorry. Mezu would eventually confess to the people at the main house that he's there because he got in trouble & they would be like go home and say sorry itll be okay :) #friendshipismagic etc. he does & they make up yayyyy the arguing resumes in a week and a half

just checked im thats like 950 words. as is normal and standard. thanks come again

[chainsaw-to-the-heart]

"Cloudbursts are the worst! Now my hair is drenched and it'll frizz like a bloody ball of lint! How rude that the weather cannot give a lady proper warning. I didn't even have a chance to open an umbrella!"

[borathae]

↳ Index [Chapter 32 - Yoongi]

Pairing: Yoongi x f.Reader

Warnings: way too many emotions omfg, sub!Yoongi, emotional kissing, kneeling, oral (f.receiving), multiple orgasms (f.receiving), squirting, sex against a window, spooning sex on a sofa, holy fuck I don’t even know what to say, he opens up to her and it’s so emotional and fucking raw and I just want to scream

Wordcount: 9.1k

a/n: *breaks down in tears* also sidenote, the oral sex part of this scene was the yoongi smut scene which i deleted accidentally. the pain is still here

Yoongi isn’t in his wing when you come back up to return the keys. Nor in his music room nor in his study and neither in his bedroom. You close the door to his wing behind you, walking down the hallways. He isn’t in the kitchen either nor in the grande dining hall. You have already given up hope of finding him tonight, when you suddenly see light coming from the sitting room.

You quicken your steps, squeezing the keys in your hand. The door is merely leaned closed, opening easily when you press your palm against it. It squeaks loudly. And there he is, having his head turned to you and with a glass of whiskey in his hand.

“You actually came”, he says dryly, studying you from head to toe.

You step into the room and close the door behind you.

“Yeah, uh I did”, you murmur, fumbling with the keys.

Your eyes meet.

“Do you want to join me for a drink?” he offers.

You hesitate for a moment, you really do. Mostly because the thing which had happened a mere hour ago was still haunting your mind. How he held you gently and kissed you softly. You blink quickly to get rid of the memory.

“Sure, why not”, you say, forcing a smile to your lips.

By the time you join him on the couch, Yoongi has already poured you a drink. He hands it to you, expression just as cold as usual. The keys you have placed on the table next to the bourbon bottle. He watches you retreat your hand.

“So how was the talk? Did you get the answer you wanted?” he asks you.

“I was...” you falter, lowering your eyes to the glass, “...I was too scared of it, so I didn’t ask.”

“Mhm. I see.”

“But he told me where Namjoon could be.”

“Really?”

“Yeah”, you nod your head, “he wasn’t sure, but he heard Namjoon talk about a finca somewhere along Rias Altas to his creations before all of this went down, so maybe start looking there?”

“Huh, well what a pleasant surprise, I was sure that this conversation would be fruitless.”

“I told you” you look at him with dark eyes, “I told you last time, if only you had given me five more minutes I would have gotten the answer out of him, but of course you doubted my abilities.”

Yoongi studies you from head to toe.

“Are you surprised? Even now, I can smell that you also fed him some blood”, he states, sipping on his whiskey afterwards.

Your heart stops for the briefest of moments.

“Excuse me?” you gasp, scared to look at him and yet your eyes flit up.

He lets them linger on yours for a moment before he looks away.

“Relax, I knew you would. Don’t worry, one little bag of blood to a vampire in his state is the equivalent of taking three bites of pasta for a starving human”, he looks back at you, “your deed was noble, but didn’t help him shit.”

You gulp, stomach twisting painfully.

“I’m sorry”, you whisper.

Yoongi scoffs and laughs, leaning back on the couch. Why is he laughing?

“Not in a million years would I have thought to hear those words from you”, he says, still laughing, “what’s with the sudden change in manners ___?”

This is the third time he is doing it. He is calling you by your name. It is weird hearing him use your name to address you. It makes the conversation you were having so much more real.

“I’m-“, you lower your head, “-trying to be nicer to you. After all, you did save my life. Multiple times actually.”

Yoongi lets his eyes race over your features. He straightens up with a sigh, closing the distance between you and him slightly. You can smell the whiskey on his lips and the cologne on his neck.

“We both know this isn’t true”, he says, tilting his head to the side, “tell me what you really want.”

“I-I d-don’t want anything from you”, you stutter.

“I can hear how your heart is racing in your throat”, he says, eyes flickering up red for the briefest of moments, “so tell me honestly. Why did you join me for a drink? Why are you so nice to me? Is it so I would release Taehyung earlier than planned?”

He saw right through you. What to do? Shall you try to deny it and risk getting called out on your lies? Should you tell him the truth and risk angering him?

“I count your silence and ragged breathing as a yes”, he says dryly, leaning back on the couch again, “go on then, convince me ___.”

Your breath hitches, your eyes landing on his crotch. Of course he would want that. You knew he would. With your throat feeling dry you get to your knees on the couch and break the distance between you and him. Your fingers land on the button of his pants.

“What is it you think you are doing?” he hisses, fingers closing around your wrist.

“You, you wanted me to convince you”, you stutter, eyes racing between his’.

“I meant with your words” he spits, “not your body”, he growls and pushes you away.

Your back collides with the armrest of the couch, knocking the air out of you. You are left staring at him, shocked to the core.

“I’m so confused.”

“What’s there to be confused about? Use your words, convince me”, he says, fixing his pants.

You blink rapidly, mouth opening and closing.

“Speak”, he orders you in a growl.

“Oh, ah”, you cough twice, “yeah sure, uhm. Could you release Taehyung sooner than planned?”

Yoongi scoffs.

“So that was your big plan? To straight up ask me?”

You nod, gnawing on your lower lip. Yoongi scoffs again and takes a sip of his whiskey.

“And why should I?”

“Because Taehyung is already suffering enough with the loss of Jimin, he doesn’t need to be locked up in a dungeon on top of that”, you say and you can see how honest surprise washes over Yoongi's face.

“Taehyung is grieving?”

“Yes, very much so”, you can feel how your heart grows heavy in your chest, “he thinks we don’t understand his pain and that we are happy Jimin is dead.”

Yoongi clicks his tongue and as if on command all of the emotion on his face disappears.

“Jimin deserved what he got.”

“Maybe he did, but maybe we should have also considered the option that he didn’t.”

“And why is that?”

“Have you ever asked yourself why Jimin died? Why was he so far away from Taehyung when they clearly wanted to run away together? It would have been logical for him to stay by Taehyung’s side and not die so far away from him.”

Yoongi drinks his whiskey, eyes racing from side to side as he thinks of a logical solution.

“What if Jimin protected Taehyung?”

“No”, Yoongi says and shakes his head, “he’d never do that.”

“But if he did? What if he deserved a chance just like Taehyung does? What if he just needed one last chance? Just one more? What if this one last chance would have been enough to finally save him?”

Yoongi scoffs again, shaking his head.

“I guess we will never know”, he says dryly, downing his whiskey in one go. He pours himself a second glass, dark eyes focused on the outside world.

“Yeah, I guess”, you take a shaky breath, “and that is the fucked up part here”, you add in a whisper.

The whiskey tastes bitter on your tongue. Not just because whiskey is supposed to taste bitter, but also because of all the guilt you were feeling. Never in your life would you have thought that a day would come when you would feel guilty for Jimin's death. But hearing Taehyung talk so highly about his best friend and having to hold him as he cried for countless minutes, changed you.

“So that’s why I’m asking you to let him out sooner than planned. Taehyung is suffering enough already.”

The fire sings its song behind you, warming your back. Yoongi takes a sip of his whiskey and then another one. He straightens up again, pulling one leg up on the couch.

“Please?” you add, pouting.

Another sip. His dark eyes are glued to the outside world, his jaw is tensed.

“Yoongi? Are you hearing me?”

"Yes." 

"So? What say you?"

He stands up and walks over to the big windows. His arms are behind his back, his whiskey glass tangling between two of his fingers. He looks like a prince in this light, with the moonlight outlining his silhouette and the snowfall as his backdrop. White silk shirt tucked into tight black linen pants and raven hair shimmering in the lights of the fire. He really does look like a prince. Beautiful, with his skin glimmering silver just like Taehyung's always does.

“Give me this night to think about it”, he says then and you could have sworn you actually squealed in excitement.

“Thank you Yoongi!” you jump up from the sofa to rush to his side, “seriously, thank you so much!” and because you were far too happy for your own good, you pressed a quick kiss to his cheek without thinking any of it. You just wanted to thank him. 

His glass slips out of his fingers and lands on the floor in a loud shatter.

Yoongi looks at you with his lips parted and his eyes comically big. 

Embarrassment floods your system in an instant. What is it with you and being a total goddamn idiot?

“Oh my god, Yoongi. I am so sorry, I don’t-“

Yoongi kisses you. The air gets knocked out of you, the glass falls from your fingers. His arms close around your body, one hand is in your hair and the other on your lower back. You whimper and gasp as Yoongi presses you against his chest, keeping you so close it feels as if he wanted to melt with you. You stumble, grasping his shoulders so you wouldn’t fall. 

Yoongi sighs. Your back comes in contact with the window, cold seeps its way through your clothes immediately. Oh how you are shivering and not from the sensation. 

The kiss deepens, Yoongi presses himself closer until you can’t help but feel warm just because of his body heat. His fingers twist in your hair at the same moment as a quiet whimper left his chest and his tongue licked over your lips.

Oh what a weak woman you are, you think, as you feel your own body draw closer to him. Your fingers entangle in his hair, your lips part. He tastes like whiskey. Oh what a contrast to his tender lips.

The kiss breaks then. His excited breathing fans over your face, his forehead is pressed against yours.

“Can I have you?” he asks, rubbing his nose up and down the slope of yours, “just like this. Right here and now?”

You have fallen too much already. Your body has been bewitched. Is it vampire magic or honest attraction? You don’t know the answer to it, but you don’t care because the feeling is addicting.

“Yes”, you say, twisting his hair.

“___”, Yoongi claims your lips in one last kiss before breaking it and falling to his knees.

“Oh?”

He pulls your pants down, helping you step out of them. Then he leans down, doing the unthinkable of kissing the instep of your foot.

“Okay, what the?”

He breaks the kiss with a sigh, eyes flitting up to meet yours. The devotion in them steals your breath away. Then he leans in, connecting his eager mouth with your inner thigh and kissing his way up to your core. Your breath hitches with each inhale you do. This view is fascinating. Min Yoongi on his knees, looking up at you after he kissed your foot. You must be in the wrong movie.

Yoongi moves, using his teeth to rip your panties off in one swift movement.

“Jesus, what are you doing?”

He spits the ruined fabric on the floor and looks at your core. His eyes sparkle as if he is looking at his goddess. He connects his mouth with your core a second later, eliciting a gasp from you.

“Okay, fuck”, you groan, stumbling in surprise.

Yoongi moans, burying his face deeper in your pussy. His mouth is working desperately, filling his veins with your taste and making you feel lightheaded in the process. His strong arms are cradling your legs, big hands resting on your butt and massaging it softly.

Yoongi draws closer, forcing you to take a step back. Your head hits the window, your back arches off of the cold glass.

“Oh god Yoongi”, you croak, knees buckling when Yoongi sucks your clit between his teeth and swirls his tongue over it. Only a second later and he has released you of the sweet torture, now using his entire mouth again to taste you.

Sweet, sweet nectar coats his throat, forcing his veins to appear on his porcelain cheeks. And yet you don’t see them. You don’t see the veins or how Yoongi’s thighs rub together or how he looks up at you with utter submission in his gaze. You don’t see anything except colourful stars behind squeezed shut eyes.

“Fuck princess”, he croaks, squeezing your thighs, “holy fuck.”

Indeed. Holy fuck. Yoongi is making you feel so fucking good that you feel dizzy. 

"You taste so fucking good", he chokes out, using his tongue to give himself more of your taste. 

It makes you shiver in the process, hips chasing his tongue and pussy burning up. He is so hot. Taehyung spoke of how vampires will become warmer when consuming fresh blood and yet it seems that all it takes for Yoongi to burn up is your sweet taste. 

His fingers are prickling, electrifying to feel on your body. They are running up and down your thighs, exploring your lower back each time he grips you tighter.

"Seriously...fuck", you let out, sneaking just one glance down at him. This is all it takes to make him feel a million times better.

His eyes are dark red, bordering black and while it was intended by nature to inflict fear, all it does is turn you on. Yoongi carries so much submission in his gaze. If his position wasn’t so giving of his current mental state, his eyes tell you everything you need to know. 

"You're crazy, seriously crazy", you moan.

Yoongi agrees with a hungry growl, lifting himself enough that he can smother himself with your pussy. The position is uncomfortable, straining his neck. Yoongi could change it, make it more comfortable for his own sake. But he doesn’t want to. He wants to feel the way his neck bends back, if that means that he can look at your face as he is feeding on you. 

He takes the tremble he forces out of you, picking up the new droplets of your pleasure with eager licks of his tongue. 

"Ah, yes", you sigh, trembling once again. He is so good. He is seriously so good. Slow and yet eager. Gentle and yet desperate. Tender and yet hungry. It is obvious that he is holding back, that he is making this all about you. Yoongi could treat you differently. You know that he could, the reminders of all the places he ruined you in are imminent in your brain. He could ruin you, break you with just a flick of his tongue, corrupt you. But he doesn’t. He treats you with utter care tonight and it is driving you up the wall. 

Or in your case, up the window. Just as Yoongi drags his hot tongue through your folds, your body moves against the cold glass in a sensual squirm. Yoongi welcomes your body movements with eager hands, using his long fingers to massage your hips. 

He looks at your face again, having to growl. He parts your folds with his tongue before using nothing but its tip to explore your clit. He feels your pulse under his tongue, hears it too. Just as he hears your thoughts. They are scrambled. 

This feels so good. Fuck, he's on his knees. This is crazy. Why is he on his knees? He kissed my foot. Yoongi. Fuck I literally can’t. He's on his knees. 

Yoongi moans, pressing himself closer. 

"Ah", you let out, gasping for air.

This feels so good. Holy fuck this feels so good. Oh no, I'm slipping.

"Yoongi I-" 

Yoongi throws your leg over his shoulder before you can even tell him about your weak knees. Like this your pussy is so perfectly presented to him. 

Yoongi breaks away, letting his eyes flit down. His vision is blurry, but he doesn’t care. He can see her, she may be hidden behind the blurry curtain of closeness and his instincts, but he can see her. He groans, placing his hands right next to your pussy. He squeezes desperately, forcing your legs to open just slightly. 

He darts his tongue out and licks your pussy. He starts at the bottom until finishing on your clit, using the flat of his tongue to get as much of your taste as possible. 

He could get more. He would just have to slip inside, use his curse to its advantage and explore your insides with his gluttonous tongue. Yoongi fears however that if he gave in tonight, he would never come back from whatever madness he is riding on. 

He draws back with a shaky exhale, forcing his tongue to return to normality. 

"Princess", he croaks, making you look down at him with half-lidded eyes. He rests his head against your lower stomach and dances his hands to your lower back. 

"Yoongi", you gasp, eyes widening.

"Princess…"

He squeezes you, turning his head just to press his lips into your lower stomach. He inhales and exhales, shoulders shaking in what looks like emotion. You can't make out what exact emotion it is, but you know that Yoongi must have something really intense going on inside of him. 

"Fuck, ___", he presses out, burying his face back in your core. 

"Oh, ah, hah", you close your eyes, "this is literally s-so good." 

He is making out with your clit, licking and sucking on her while his hands are traveling to your ass. He keeps one resting on your buttock, using the other to outline your leg, which he so perfectly threw over his shoulder.  

He is burning up. With each second, he is burning up more and more. He never told you, but you have the softest skin. His fingers haven’t touched such softness in centuries. He loves touching it. He seriously does.

He takes your clit between his pouty lips and forces her to throb. Your knees buckle, Yoongi supports you easily. You gasp, Yoongi soaks it up gladly. You cover his chin with your pleasure, Yoongi tastes it happily. Because this is his destiny tonight. He is destined to accept whatever you give him gratefully. The world carved him just so one day he could be on his knees in front of the only woman who manages to make him want to be gentle. 

"I'm close", you press out, reaching for his hair. You twist it, eliciting shivers to run down his spine. 

Yoongi already forgot that he is able to shiver and now that he did, it forces him closer. Closer and closer and closer. Closer to his favourite taste and favourite scent and perhaps biggest damnation. And as he draws closer and his tongue glides over your clit, there is only one single thought repeating itself in your mind. 

He's going to make me cum.

Yoongi goes dizzy at the volume your thoughts are coursing through your brain and he does everything in his power to bring you to where you taste the sweetest. 

"Yoongi", his name in your voice sounds like honey to his ears, "I'm cumming." 

He welcomes it with a ready mouth, eyes glued to your face. It is barely possible to look at you, now that your hand is holding his hair so tightly. But Yoongi manages. He will manage everything if it means that you can climax on his tongue. 

He groans, trembling right with you. You taste so fucking divine and Yoongi has to do everything in his power to keep his fangs hidden. 

"Oh god, stop", you whimper, squirming in his hold, "stop Yoongi, stop." 

He is greedy. No. Gluttonous. He wants more. So much more in fact that he can feel his mouth lock itself on your pussy. His instinct is to bite and rip. He obviously doesn’t. Instead he sucks and licks and tortures your poor, overstimulated clit until it is throbbing.

"Slow please. Oh god, it’s so - ah! Slow!"

You are fleeing, writhing away. Yoongi takes your other leg and throws it over his shoulder as well, barely feeling your weight. His arms are cradling you, supporting your squirming hips and holding them in place.

"Holyfuckinghellwhatthefuck", your words become a jumble of words, your voice is pitched, "yoongislowohgod." 

Yoongi moans, pressing himself closer. He knows you have it in you. He knows you can give him more. You are just one second away from it. One flick of his tongue, one eager suck. You can do it. One flick. Give him more. One suck. Yes. Finally you are tensing. One suck. One flick.

"Yoongi", you squeak out, gasping a second later when he surprises you by making you squirt all over his tongue, "wait, holy fuck wait I am- ah!" 

Your body convulses and each time it does, you feel your hottest pleasure squirt out of you. And holy fuck, it feels so good.

"I'm sorry. I, I can’t stop. I can’t- ah, ah! Ah!"

Yoongi hears how good you feel but how embarrassing you think this is. How you fear that you are totally repulsive now that you are wetting his face with your cum whilst wishing for more at the same time. Yoongi shows you with hungry slurps and guttural moans that there was nothing better tasting in this world than your orgasm and that he is grateful for every second of your sweet shower.

He only finishes once you are wincing in true overstimulation. He releases your pussy, staying close for the sole purpose of inhaling your scent. You smell especially mellifluous after a good orgasm. You tremble so sweetly in his arms, Yoongi doesn’t want to set you down just yet. 

"Princess fuck", he rasps, lifting his head. Your orgasm is dripping from his hair, glimmering on his pretty lashes, his face is glistening in it too.

"Yoongi I didn’t mean to." 

"Thank you", he breathes. 

“W-what?”

“Thank you”, he repeats. His cheeks are wetter than before. Was it truly just your high which left them in such a state? “thank you so much.”

You should be the one, who feels completely wrecked and yet it is Yoongi, who seems to shiver more than you do, barely managing to set you down.

"Princess."

"Yoongi…"

Yoongi comes up and cups your face, resting his forehead against yours. He is shaking, eyes closed and lips parted in ragged breaths. 

“Fuck”, he presses out, “holy fuck, princess”, he croaks and then he kisses you. He kisses you so deeply that you feel dizzy, feeding you the taste of you. Oh how tightly he holds you. How much he trembles. You touch his chest, feeling it lift in a shaky inhale.

He sighs and starts licking into your mouth almost hungrily. There is urgency in his kisses. He doesn’t kiss you like he did back in the music room. The tenderness was still present and yet his tongue carried desperation. And as Yoongi presses you against the window with his hips the desperation repeats itself between his legs. He grinds against your stomach, eliciting a sigh from you and him.

“Can I have you more?” his voice carried the weight of a plea, “do you want me?”

“Yes Yoongi, I do”, you whisper.

“Fuck”, he croaks and kisses you again.

Pants get pulled down and taken off, shirts get ripped open and discarded on the floor. Only your bra he leaves on, keeping his torso covered as well. Yoongi picks you up without struggle and presses you against the window. You gasp, goosebumps rising all over your body now that you are so naked and bared.

“It’s cold”, you whine.

“Not for long”, he rasps, eyes meeting yours, “I’ll warm you up”, he adds, sinking you down on his length slowly.

“Oh god Yoongi”, you groan, eyes fluttering closed.

"Yes princess, yes. Take me, yes. Take all of me."

Yoongi presses himself closer and bottoms out. He shudders, moaning shakily. His hot breath tickles your neck, his lips follow. 

"You did it, princess. You have me, all of me", he whispers, "how do I feel?" 

"Good, so good." 

"Oh princess…" he presses out and kisses your neck, doing so slowly. No bites, no teeth, not even sucking. Just kisses. As if he wanted to worship your body with his lips. There it is again. That tenderness, that softness as if he was too scared to hurt you. It leaves you feeling breathless.

“___”, Yoongi sighs before he starts to move. Slow rocks of his hips, tender kisses on your neck, a gentle grasp of his fingers. This isn’t at all how you know him. Almost as if he was a completely different person. And for an unexplainable reason it sends electricity all through your body.

“Hold onto me”, he tells you in a whisper and as you wrap your arms around him and run your fingers through his hair, Yoongi moans. Maybe your ears deceived you, but there was so much sadness in that sound, almost as if he tried to cover up a sob instead.

“Don’t let go of me, hold onto me. I promise, I’ll hold you”, he whispers, kissing your jawline, “don’t let go of me.”  

That begging, those words, this desperation. You have already experienced this before. The night when you and Taehyung slept with each other for the first time. Back then you were confused as to why he acted so completely different all of a sudden. And that is when it dawns on you. Humanity. It came back to him that night. Just as it does for Yoongi right now. The kneeling, his devotion, the tenderness. Yoongi is finally feeling again. You can’t lose this moment. This is his opportunity.

You tug at his hair, making him lift his head. His dark brown eyes greet you, sparkling in the moonlight and reflecting the snowfall outside. His cheeks have gained colour, his lips are parted. He is breathing shakily, your name rolls over his lips without sound. Closer he presses himself, allowing soft moans to escape him.

You cup his cheek, closing your legs around him. He whimpers, eyebrows furrowing and eyes racing between yours.

“Kiss me Yoongi”, you whisper, clenching down on him.

Yoongi squeezes his eyes shut and groans, hips faltering for a moment. With his lips quivering in a silent sob, he closes the distance between you and him. He kisses you sloppily, with passion and in need. He kisses you until your head feels dizzy and his length is soaked in your arousal. He kisses you until your lips are tender and your lungs ache for air. He moves through the room with you in his arms as he kisses you. It is fast, you can feel how your bodies cut through the air.

Then you feel softness against your skin. Yoongi placed you down on the sofa. He is behind you, his arms slung around your body. You are so close to him.

“Isn’t the snowfall nice?” he says, lips ghosting over your neck. He is rubbing his length against your thigh, spreading his arousal all over your skin.  

“Y-yeah”, you choke out.

“I think so too”, he says and kisses your neck again. He wraps his arms around you, sighing your name as he does. You shiver in his hold, pressing closer all on your own. Yoongi slips into you again, making both of you moan.

“That’s so good”, he whispers, hugging you tighter, “it’s so good.”

He is going just as slowly as he did before, wanting to savour this moment for as long as possible. He is so deep in this position, crazing your special spot with every roll of his hips. It makes you moan oh so sweetly, chest heaving up and down in desperate pants.

“Is that good for you?” he makes sure, big hand massaging your breast through your bra.

“Mhm, yeah, ah.”

“I’m glad”, he whispers, burying his face in your neck. He moans and whimpers, hugging you closer to his body. He is so hot and you are sure that if his heart was still beating, it would be racing right now.

“And what about this? Does this feel good for you?” he whispers and connects his thumb with your clit.

“Oh”, you groan and need to gasp for air. His thumb feels rough on your skin, but most of all it makes your stomach clench in hot pleasure, “oh god, don’t stop, oh god please.”

He will make you cum if he continues what he is doing. Any minute now and your body will be shaking.

“That’s it, pull me in”, he moans, hugging you tighter. His body rubs against yours, warm and soft. His hand slips under your bra, cupping your naked breast.

“Ah Yoongi”, you gasp, nipple hardening immediately.

“Say it again.”

“Yoongi?”

“Yes, oh fuck, ___”, he moans. He kisses your neck, lips wet and parted in continuous moans. It is like he wants to merge with you. He is holding you so tightly, not even the dust particles in the air could part you. His length swells inside of you, filling you up even more perfectly.

“You’re perfect”, he sighs, sending warmth through your body with the way he massages your breast, "holy fuck, you’re perfect", he whispers, “did he ever tell you that? Did he tell you that you are perfect?” he asks, pressing his thumb closer to your clit.

“I’m close”, you whimper, the sensations are too much.

He cups your cheek and tilts your head back. There is so much warmth in his eyes.

“Let go”, he whispers and goes to kiss you.

One last flick of his thumb and you are clenching down on him. Yoongi swallows every moan you have to offer, caressing your cheek as you are shaking in his arms. Once your orgasm dies down he breaks the kiss, smiling down at you. You are breathless, frozen in the best way.

“Say it again”, he breathes.

“Yoongi”, you whisper.

“Oh god yes, ___”, he moans, voice pitched. His face scrunches up, mouth falling open and eyes closing. He whimpers and freezes up, “___”, your name stumbles over his pouty lips and then his seed covers your walls, his arms almost breaking you from how tightly he holds you.

This is the first time you see him actually enjoy his orgasm. In the past it was as if his climax didn’t even affect him, maybe even as if it bored him. So seeing him so totally out of breath and with his face scrunched up and heated in bliss, it hits places on your heart you really didn’t want to be hit at tonight.

“Fuck”, he chokes out and then his body grows limp, head falling into the cushions. He pulls you into his chest. You are resting on his upper arm and Yoongi takes the cushion, resting his chin on the crown of your head.

“This was nice”, he whispers, slurring his words slightly.

“Yes, I think so too”, you say quietly, still trying to figure out what to do with that fluttering heart of yours.

Yoongi cuddles closer, nuzzling his nose into your hair.

"Did you feel good?" he asks, voice chocolaty sweet. 

"Yes." 

"Good", he kisses your hair, "that's good." 

You shiver, finding yourself draw into him. He is so tender. It sounds oh so silly but you really missed being treated like that. Just hugs and cuddles after slow fucking. You shiver again, drawing his arm closer around your body.

“Are you cold?” he asks, giving you a squeeze.

“No, uhm”, you look at your intertwined fingers, “maybe a little bit.”

“Yeah? I can get you a blanket if you want me to”, he offers, kissing the shell of your ear repeatedly.

“Uhm, oh, ah yeah that’d be nice”, you stutter.

“Be right back”, he says, removing himself from your body.

Yoongi returns with your clothes and a blanket. He hands the clothes to you. He also had put his pants back on. His shirt is sticking to his torso now that he was so terribly heated.

"I ripped your shirt", he confesses and chuckles shyly, "I'll stitch it up, promise."

“No it’s fine, thanks”, you accept your clothes, putting them back on.

“There you go, the blanket”, he says softly and drapes the blanket over your naked shoulder, “that should keep you warm for now”, he adds, showing off his gums as he sends you a smile.

“Thank you”, you croak out, overwhelmed with his caring heart. His smile is blinding. Why is he never showing it? It is literally so beautiful.

Yoongi gives your head a little pat and then sits down on the couch so you and him would be facing each other. He stretches his legs out, nudging your hip with his toes.

“We’ll talk to Taehyung tomorrow. Alright?” he says, voice warm and soft.

“Wait”, you look at him with widened eyes, “really? So you’ll release him?”

He nods and smiles softly.

“Wow this is”, you laugh breathlessly, “amazing news. Thank you Yoongi, you are awesome.”

He lowers his head shyly.

“It’s nothing really”, he mumbles, scratching the back of his neck.

“I think it’s really…” you move closer, making yourself comfortable between his legs. Yoongi stares at you as if you were the ghost of his dead grandmother, not knowing where to put his hands. You rest your back against his chest, head falling on his shoulder. Yoongi exhales shakily, doing so to cover up the sniffle which escaped. But you heard it and ignored it, not wanting to scare him into turning off his humanity again.

“…I think it’s really nice of you to do”, you whisper, pulling the blanket over both your bodies.

Some time passes in which you and Yoongi share silence and watch the falling snow. Yoongi basically panted for the first five minutes of being so close, but calmed down as time passed. Now all you hear is his steady breathing and the occasional lick he does when he sips on his whiskey. Yoongi got new glasses and prepared both of you a new drink. At first you thought that he wouldn’t return to his previous position, but he did. You didn’t call him out on it, not when he sent you such an unsure look. So you quietly opened the blanket for him and allowed him to return to his spot.

You are starting to become sleepy. He is so warm, he really is. And with the fire crackling in the background, you felt so comfortable that you felt sleepy. His fingers dance up and down your stomach, only adding to the relaxation.

Yoongi has his eyes closed. He is happy that you can’t see him, because he normally doesn’t close his eyes around other people. It makes him too vulnerable. In this moment however, all he wanted to do was to close his eyes and drift off to sleep.

“Yoongi?” your soft voice pulled him back.

“Yes?”

“Do you think that we would have been able to save Jimin?”

“Stop dwelling on things we can’t change”, he answers you, surprised to feel a weird lump forming in his chest.

“I just feel so guilty. Jimin seemed different when he talked to me.”

Yoongi sends you a glance.

“He talked about my magic ring and how it made his brain scramble. He told me that he hears voices in the back of his head and that Namjoon put them in there.”

“He said that?” Yoongi sounds genuinely surprised.

“Yes”, you nod your head, "what if Jimin never wanted to be evil, but was made to be? What if Tae is right and we could have saved him?”

“I don’t know”, Yoongi answers you and all of a sudden he felt so terribly guilty. He knows it wasn’t his fault, but he still feels guilty.

“Why did you spare Taehyung? Why is he so different from Jimin?”

"I promised you, didn’t I?" 

"Yeah, well…sorry, I know."

Yoongi looks down at you, letting his eyes wander over your features.

“And because he makes you happy”, he says in a whisper.

You crane your neck to stare at him in shock. Yoongi looks into your eyes, swallows deeply and starts laughing nervously. He shifts on the couch, taking a sip of his whiskey.

“It's hilarious, isn’t it?” he begins, “how we call being emotional humanity and yet I have never seen creatures more cruel than humans. They murder and kill each other, torture the different, rape the weak and curse the foreigner for simply being a foreigner”, Yoongi looks out the window, watching the snowfall, “and they do all of that with their emotions on. Love, compassion, empathy. Those emotions are still in humans and yet they are the ones acting like actual monsters.”

Yoongi takes a sip of his whiskey.

“At least my species has this ridiculous excuse of ‘the spot’ on which we can blame our awful deeds”, he scoffs dryly, “you humans, you do all of this out of the cruelty of your own hearts.”

You sit up, pulling the blanket up your shoulders. You keep close to Yoongi however, fearing that if you didn’t, this magical moment would end. Your eyes drift outside to the snowfall. It had increased in the past hour. Yoongi speaks again.

“That is why I find it quite hilarious that we call it humanity. Isn’t it more human for us vampires to keep our emotions shut off?”

Your eyes meet for the briefest of moments.

“I don’t think so”, you say.

“And why is that?”

“Because even though us humans are awful, fucked-up monsters and a lot of the time it seems as if we had our emotions turned off, there is still so much beauty in being human.”

“And what would that be? Mortality? Illnesses? Aching bodies?”

“No”, you shake your head, “laughing with someone so much that your belly hurts and tears stream down your face, or hugging someone and sharing in their warmth”, you send him a smile, “or telling someone a compliment and watching how it brightens their day instantly.”

Yoongi merely laughs dryly and shakes his head.

���How ridiculous”, he grumbles.

“No it’s not ridiculous, that’s what being human is. Sharing little moments of happiness with each other”, you touch his knee, “being human is being happy.”

Yoongi shakes his head.

“No, being human is being cruel, but most of all…” he furrows his brows, “…most of all it is being sad.”

“Sad?”

“Yes, sad.”

Yoongi stays silent for a long time. Outside the wind had picked up. It swirls the big snowflakes around as if they were all lost in a desperate dance. The whiskey doesn’t burn as much on your tongue anymore, it tastes kind of good now that you think of it. Yoongi takes a deep breath and sighs.

“Having my emotions on, brought me nothing but misery. You think I wanted to be a Creator?”

He looks at you for the briefest of moments just so he could see if you were shaking your head or nodding. You shake it, shrugging your shoulders afterwards.

“I was cursed by a sorcerer to be a bloodsucking demon for eternity, all of us were. My friends and I”, he lowers his eyes, fingers tightening around the glass, “most of them are dead by now.”

“Most of them?”

Yoongi nods his head, “there was a time where me and Namjoon were like brothers.”

You widen your eyes in shock.

“Namjoon is also a Creator?”

He nods his head, “there was a time where we were considered as gods. The great almighty Creators, the chosen ones, the punishers of the Heavens. Fuck”, Yoongi scoffs, “what a load of bullshit.”

He takes a sip of whiskey.

“The people feared us and yet prayed to us. They came to us to ask for forgiveness for their sins and to beg for eternal life.”

Yoongi sneaks a glance your way.

“Namjoon was the one who discovered that our blood can heal.”

“What?”

“It was my fault. I had many lovers back then. We all had. And one night I…” he blinks rapidly, hitting his own knee twice, “…I lost control and wounded her fatally. She didn’t die instantly but laid in my lap as I had to watch her choke on her blood. Namjoon saved her. He fed her a droplet of his blood and healed her.”

“Yoongi that is…”

“We thought that she would turn into one of us. An undead bloodsucker. But she didn’t, we watched the torn flesh in her throat heal and listened as her heartbeat sped up again. She survived because Namjoon fed her his blood.”

“I don’t know what to say.”

“That night, he swore that healing humans would become his purpose and soon people came to our temple, carrying their wounded loved ones or dragging themselves on their wounded limbs, and asked for a droplet of our blood. Namjoon was loved at that time, he was seen as a benevolent god and people cheered his name as he walked the streets.”

“That’s….what changed?”

“The humans’ view on us.”

“How? You helped them, you healed them and gave them hope. What could have possibly happened to change their view on you?”

“I happened.”

The room is silent for a breath. Yoongi’s eyes seem black for the briefest of moments.

“Me and three other Creator bastards happened. We wanted more, we didn’t want to spend our eternity being worshipped or helping mortals. We wanted blood. That is all we wanted. Blood.”

Yoongi drinks from his whiskey. His hand was shaking as he did.

“We began slaughtering people. We did it in the secret of the night first and only to those already doomed to die. But we grew greedier and greedier until one night…fuck”, he hides his face behind his hand. He inhales and exhales shakily, “it was a family ___, they came to us to pray for a bountiful harvest and I slaughtered them all in front of the eyes of every human and Creator which was present in that cursed temple.”

Yoongi twists his fingers in his hair, tripping tears from his ripped-open eyes. They were focused on the ground, racing left and right as the memory haunts his brain in vivid detail.

“I just wanted blood”, he chokes out in a painful whisper, “I didn’t hear their voices, I heard the rushing of their blood and the beating of their hearts. I, I didn’t smell the scent of the cake they offered us, I smelled my biggest damnation in their veins. And I went down those steps and…” he reaches out with trembling fingers, “…ripped them to shreds within seconds”, he presses out, closing his hand to a tight fist, “I didn’t want to do it and yet I did.”

“Oh Yoongi.”

“People hated us from that day on. They called us demons, cursed us, threw rocks at us or spat in our faces when we passed them on the streets. I destroyed their trust and the rest of my friends had to pay the consequences.”

He drops his head.

“The humans formed a hunting party for us. They forged weapons out of the only tree capable of killing us. It grew on the spot where the Sorcerer turned us into the monsters we were.”

“I read of this! Your blood and the dark magic soaked the grounds and from it a tree darker as the night grew. It is said that it wept black blood when one cut it. That is why you bleed black blood when you get hurt because your veins are poisoned by the same dark magic as the resin of the tree.”

He looks at you with big eyes as if he hadn’t expected you to know the story.

“The Hunters carved weapons out of its wood and then sealed you in a cave with magic to starve you until they could slaughter you easily.”

“___”, he whispers.

“I read of it. In one of my books. I read of it, but thought that it was nothing but the silly talk of an imaginative person.”

Yoongi reaches out and touches your hand. It was as if he reached out for help, as if your knowledge was the only light he saw in his darkness. The touch lies heavy on your skin, bearing consequences most grand to your heart as it made you turn your wrist and lock your fingers with Yoongi’s. And Yoongi reached right back, closing his fingers around your hand as if he never wanted to let go.

“So it happened? Those stories I read weren’t just ghost stories, they are your past, your memories, your…” you scoot closer, eyes racing between Yoongi’s, “…life.”

"Yes", his voice was barely there. 

"Yoongi, no. So it’s true. Oh, Yoongi."

“Fuck”, he lowers his head, lips trembling in a constricted sob, “we were having a party when the Hunters came, we were drunk because the people we drained had booze in their blood. Alcohol works better for us when we consume it through blood.”

“I already figured.”

“They ambushed us and shot us with wooden arrows to poison us enough so they could drag us to the cave. I hid when it happened and watched my friends die. I still hear their screams some nights”, he squeezes his eyes shut, “I was so scared”, he whispers.

You thought that you would live your life without ever hearing such words from Yoongi. Fear. It was an emotion you thought him incapable of possessing and yet in this moment, as a crystal tear ran down the bridge of his nose before tripping from its tip, it was soaked into his expression and filled the air around him with its presence.

“I’m so sorry Yoongi”, you say softly, draping your arm around him.

“I watched as Namjoon was knocked unconscious. He laid there, just five feet away from me with an arrow in his head and his opened eyes staring at me. So I grabbed him and ran as fast as possible. Just one other friend survived, I don’t see her these days. Perhaps she is already dead, I don’t know.”

“What was her name?”

“I can’t remember”, he whispers, “I haven’t seen her in two thousand years.”

“Oh, damn. That’s a very long time.”

He nods his head and continues.

“Namjoon was different since that night. Maybe the arrow in his brain hurt the part which was responsible for empathy, but he was different when he woke up. I could see it in his eyes. They were filled with hatred.”

“So that is what broke him? The arrow?”

“Perhaps, it was laced with dark magic after all. Or perhaps it was the humans’ hatred, which broke him. He swore to seek revenge on them. He hated them with all his heart. All he had wanted to do was heal them and they repaid him by shooting an arrow through his head. His hatred for them turned him so mad that after one hundred years of anger, I found no trace of my brother left in his eyes.”

Yoongi touches his own forehead, pressing out a painful curse.

“We went separate ways and for a long time I didn’t see him. I didn’t know if he survived or if he was killed. I didn’t know if he found peace or if he was still lost in perdition. I just knew that I had lost my brother a long time ago and that I had to be punished for what I had done.”

He lowers his eyes.

“I chained myself up”, he says then and for a moment you feel confused.

“What does that mean?”

“I was meant to be locked away for eternity. While Namjoon haunted the earth like a ghost of revenge, I locked myself in the deepest tunnels of my castle. I chained myself up in a casket and forced myself to dry out. That was supposed to be my fate.”

“Oh…”

“You know what the fucked up part of drying out is?” he asks, looking at you from the corner of his eyes.

You shake your head. 

“Although your body is decomposing, your mind isn’t. You feel everything. Each time another part of your body rots, you feel the anguish. Until everything has rotten away and your brain is the only thing left”, he zones out, “that’s when the seconds turn into centuries because you know that you are trapped with your thoughts and all the reminders of every terrible thing you ever did.”

He lowers his head and presses his eyes shut, inhaling shakily.

“I tried, I really tried to keep my emotions on. But one day it just got too much, so I turned them off”, his back heaves up and down in a heavy breath, “it helped a little. Not much, because I was still trapped with my thoughts, but at least…” he clenches his hand to a fist, “…at least they didn’t hurt so much anymore”, his voice is barely there as he speaks.

“I’m really sorry Yoongi, this is terrible”, you say and you mean it. You rub little circles on his upper back, hoping that they might give him some sort of comfort.

“Thank you”, he says.

“But what changed? You said being chained up was your fate, so what changed?”

“The curiosity of humans”, he sighs and clenches his jaw, “one day my casket was opened by a group of men. One of them-“, he takes a sip of his whiskey, hand shaking as he does, “-he cut himself on a nail and a droplet of his blood fell on my lips.”

Yoongi lowers his head. His shoulders shake as he inhales.

“What happened Yoongi?” you whisper the question.

Yoongi shoots up and throws the glass across the room, letting out a boneshattering yell as he does. You flinch, shoulders rising to your ears in protection. He looks at you, eyes filled with tears.

“I ripped them to shreds, every single one of them!” he screams, entire body shaking, “and once I was finished with them, I slaughtered every village in a radius of thirty miles. For hundreds and thousands of years I was torturing myself with redemption and I hadn’t changed shit!”

He is by the fireplace by now, hitting the marble frame with such strength it shatters into a million pieces. His knuckles are cracked open, but heal within seconds. He inhales shakily, dark hairs hanging into his face messily. The fire reflects in his eyes, making them burn in darkness.

“I didn’t want to kill all those people and yet I did”, he says quietly, “I couldn’t stop”, he whispers, shoulders beginning to shake in silent sobs, “I, I couldn’t stop. I, I knew it was because I had my emotions off. Fuck”, he sobs, “fuck, if only I hadn’t given in to temptation, if only I had kept on suffering like I was meant to do. I could have saved all those people.”

Yoongi looks back into the flames, crying silently. He looks so broken. You leave the couch to join him, wanting nothing more than to grant him a little comfort.

“Now I’m all alone”, Yoongi whispers, “it’s just as it was meant to happen.”

“Meant to happen?”

“It was all in the prophecy of the sorcerer, that I was one day meant to be all alone on earth, with my friends dead and surrounded by my own worst fear.”

“What is your worst fear?”

“To be the source of pain to other people.”

“Oh Yoongi…” you step closer, “that’s awful.”

Yoongi flinches when you run your fingers up and down his spine, but doesn’t move away. Maybe, if your eyes didn’t deceive you, he even leaned into your touch.

“That is why the sorcerer cursed you and your lineage to insatiable hunger. Innocent people get hurt and killed. And the killer is left with painful guilt. This is the true curse of your lineage.”

“You are surprisingly clever for a human”, Yoongi murmurs.

You wrap your arms around his middle and rest your head against him. Yoongi drapes his arm around you. He isn’t shaking as much anymore.

“So when did you turn them back on again? Your emotions I mean” you ask.

“I never did”, he says quietly, “if I allow myself to feel again, all I will feel is pain. It is better to stay cold and indifferent for eternity than to feel.”

“You don’t sound to me as if you have your emotions off.”

Yoongi scoffs, “I think, if you lived with your emotions off long enough, you start to develop a convincing enough pattern to fool people.”

“I don’t think that’s it”, you look into his eyes, meeting incredible fear in them, “I think you are just scared to admit that you actually care a lot about the people around you”, you say quietly and give him a little squeeze, “but it’s okay to care Yoongi.”

Yoongi flinches and shakes his head. He looks at you with such intensity it makes you nervous.

“I don’t care about anyone”, he says darkly and shakes you off.

Yoongi lets his eyes linger on your lips for the briefest of moments. For just a second he hesitates. For just a second he hopes for you to reach out and pull him back. For just a second he lets you know that he does care, that you are the only good thing in his life, before he pushes himself off of you to storm out of the room instead.

“Yoongi! Wait! I didn’t mean to offend you!”

Yoongi however slams the door shut and when you open it mere seconds later he has already disappeared into the night.

[ughdontbeboring]

Not Mine

Andy Barber x WoC Reader

sometimes things are just for borrowing…unless you know what you want

warnings: smut, marriage talk, divorce talk, Minors DNI

sidenote: my reader is always thick but this can still be read by anyone. dont use my shit anywhere in any form. if you likes it, loves it, fucks with it then reblog and comment all that good shit!! Lots of love! I appreciate yall and the love 💚

this is the dress reader is wearing!

this is the short follow up aka blurb

X

X

The hot Boston sun poured through the large floor to ceiling windows. The windows allowed you to see out but not to be seen into, not that it mattered, she’d still be right here even if the whole firm was watching. Shit the fucking world could be watching and she asked if they had a good enough view. 

“Look at how wet you are” the deep Boston accent made her eyes open to get a look down at herself, his long thick fingers pumping into her.

He was right, she was wet as a ocean. 

Her eyes slowly drifted up to his. Andy Barber hot shit DA stood towering over her, his stormy ocean blue eyes boring into hers while she sat spread eagle on his desk, her legs bent at the knee and hovering in the air. Her legs burn from the position and lack of support but she’s be damned if she complained with how good he was fucking her. She felt herself clench around him as her body warmed, the action causing him to smirk. He knew she got flustered whenever her gave her that eye contact. 

She broke the eye contact as her eyes screwed shut, the sensation of her orgasm creeping up on her. “Shit Andy I’m almost there”.

“I know girl, I know” He said in that voice that did something to her. It was almost degrading and she felt her stomach flip. Andy was the only one who had her into that shit. It wasn’t even something she knew she liked until Andy. 

His hand grabbed her neck forcing her face to angle up toward his. They stood their watching each other as he finger fucked her. There was a certain intimacy to the moment that she tried to ignore. She could see something had changed in Andy’s eyes over the months they’d been fucking. 

Honestly it was supposed to be just that. Fucking. Andy was a married man. Separated from his wife but married still, until they wrapped up divorce. If they ever did. She felt like it was taking forever, not that Andy made any false promises of them being together. She just didn’t know how long she could fuck with him if he stayed married any much longer. It has already been 8 months. 

Andy didn’t talk much about it and she hardly asked. She only brought it up every once in a while. A status check she’d say. Andy always had the same answer, he was still waiting on Lorie to sign. 

She didn’t care what people thought about her, but she did know their “arrangement”, if anyone ever found out could be used against him and labeled a affair and in turn effect his job. Even if they didn’t start talking until they had separated and Lorie was in the process of filing. 

Though she wanted this to strictly be fucking only, she didn’t want anything to ruin what Andy had worked so hard for or for people to view him negatively. 

Andy would say he didn’t care, but she felt like that was his dick talking. 

The rough hand around her neck tighten before her upper body was yanked forward. Her hands flew to his chest, her fingers digging into his crips white button down. Andy fingers withdrew quickly before landing 2 quick smacks to her wet pussy.

YN yelped as her body jerked. 

“Oh shit Andy please” she moaned out, tears running down her face as he drove his fingers back into her. She was so close.

“Eyes” He demanded.

Her shot open at his tone and held his. 

“You like knowing someone could walk in at any moment don’t you” he asked as her back arched off the desk and she grinding down on his hand. “That’s why your fucking soaking my hand baby, pussy dripping because you want someone to see you on my deck spread wide the fuck open for me, taking whatever I’ll give your greedy little pussy”.

Oh fuck him, he knew just what to say and just how to fuck her to give her unrivaled pleasure. 

“Daddy” she groaned loudly as her orgasm hurdled into her. Andy watched as her eyes rolled back, her body jerked and shook on his fingers and desk. Her candy sweet slick dripping down his hand even more as the sound of her wet cunt bounced off his office walls. 

He continued his assault on her swollen cunt as he stepped forward, helping her ride out her high. He pressed his heavy body into hers to help her come down from her orgasmic state. 

Her face cuddled into his neck as his lips sucked on her shoulder, before leading up to her neck, anywhere he could reach. 

Her breathing was starting to steady slowly.

“Damn Andy” was the only thing she could say as she started to catch her breathe. The attorney chuckled deeply as he pulled his fingers form her. 

Her eyes opened just in time to see him sucking his fingers, before he pushed them into her own mouth. She sucked as she eyed him. 

“Damn YN” 

They both laughed before Andy pulled her into a deep passionate kiss. Her brown legs wrapped around him as her fingers gripped his shirt tighter. 

Once her short summer dressed was pulled down the furtherest it would go, Andy gave her ass a final smack before running his hand up her body. 

“Where were you off to before I convinced you to come by?” Andy asked causing YN to giggle.

“I’m running a little late but to meet my girls for lunch, it’s just a few block from here”

“Hmmm. So after girl time-“

“Andy your wife is here” Andy’s assistant could be heard in the office through the loud speaker. He huffed as YN slightly pulled away. “Sorry I meant Lorie” she corrected herself.

“So later?-“

“Andy” 

YN and Andy turned to the voice. They were no longer touching but still pretty close. Lorie stood by the door watching them. 

“Thank you for your time Mr. Barber, you really are the best in the city” YN said slightly disappointed by Lorie’s disturbance. “I’ll let you speak with Lorie”. 

Andy cringed before a quick hand ran down his face. He didn’t want her to leave like this and he need Lorie’s shit right now. Unless it was about Jacob or the divorce papers he didn’t want to hear what she had to say. 

YN turned on her wedges and walked toward the door, she was just passing Lorie when she spoke. YN steps came to a slow pace as she turned to Lorie not catching what she said. 

“Lorie-“

“Mrs. Barber” Lorie curtly corrected YN, while cutting off Andy. 

YN stood staring down at the woman, was she serious? She was going to try and play wife now? Heat started to swarm within YN’s body. 

She looked between Andy who was about to speak and back to Lorie. His not yours she told herself. As much as she wanted to cuss Lorie the fuck out the reality was Andy wasn’t hers. He wasn’t Lorie’s either but she was technically his wife. 

She kept her face unfazed as she took one gaze at Andy before turning to leave. His not yours.

x

x

🥴

i wrote a little extra blurb for this, kinda like a different ending, if yall want it let me know and I’ll follow up with it!

also this is the visual for yn and andy and also the visual i was inspired by.

[peonierose]

Once (1/5)

Book: The Nanny Affair & Open Heart Crossover / AU

**This story takes place before it was revealed that Addison would come back/is alive **

Part I of IV / Miniseries

Pairing: Sam Dalton (M!MC) x Addison Dalton (F!MC)

Words: 1,400+

TW: Illness, cancer, mental health

Rating: Angst

Summary: Addison has stage four ovarian cancer. So Sam and Addi seek a consultation with Dr. Ethan Ramsey at Edenbrook. Will they make it in time?

A/N: I wrote this story in October 2021 and I haven’t even realized my anger, grief and all my sad emotions made it into this mini series. This is for a good friend of mine her name was Mira. She was a bright star that unfortunately lost her fight against ovarian cancer on Dec, 19th. 2019. She was a true fighter, a genuinely nice person. We love you Mira. And you will always stay with us. No matter what happens. Mira this is for you. Because you deserve everything good in this world. Because you went away too soon. In honor and in memory for our dear friend Mira 💚

Sidenote: @txemrn Thank you for being a badass cheerleader from the start for this project 💚💎 and of course to @annieruok94 for proofreading and telling me its a good story 💚😽

P.S. Here’s a list of songs I was inspired by give it a listen it you want 😊

———————————————————

”Don‘t forget that you loved me once.“ -Maren Morris - Once

———————————————————

Part I

It was a normal day, or as normal as it can be. What counts as normal anymore?

I sighed, while absent-mindedly checking some e-mails, and drinking my second cup of coffee. I took a sip noticing that the coffee turned cold and tasted stale. I cringed putting the mug aside.

I wasn’t really focused on anything. The e-mails all blurring together turning into one giant blue mess. My mind occupied with thoughts about our fight from last night, and how to fucking help someone who doesn’t want it. I drag a hand over my face and release a deep breath.

I was in the middle of replying to an e-mail to Dr. Ramsey, regarding our consultation set for today, when I heard the soft padding of footsteps coming from the direction of the bedroom.

Rubbing my hand over my face, I look up with tired eyes, only to see Addison, my wife, enter the kitchen and pour herself a cup of coffee.

Taking in her grey nightshirt (one of my old college shirts) that was hanging loosely from her tall frame. She stood with her back to me. Shoulders ramrod straight holding on to the kitchen counter with her right hand for support, as if she was readying herself for another confrontation.

With me.

A white hot jolt of pain shot through me. This distance between us. This giant insurmountable wall. It pains me.

Every conversation ended in an argument or like most recently in shouting matches, that left both of us wounded.

I sighed again and put my phone down on the table with a loud thud.

“I can whip us up some pancakes if you want?“

My words laced with concern for her. Following her every movement and holding my breath, anxiously waiting for her reply.

She turned around, and I noticed the bags under her eyes. She looked thinner and more frail.

Her long blonde hair gone, replaced by a wig. Her usually tan skin paler, then I remembered. Wanting to reach out and caress her cheek, just to feel the warmth and soft skin beneath my fingers. But I curled my fingers together, stopping myself.

I could see the toll that the cancer was taking on her. She refuses to change her habits. She’s a workaholic just like me, overworks herself when she should rest.

“Thanks. But I’m not hungry,“ she’s about to walk away.

But I can’t let her leave like this. I just can’t.

“Addi, please. You have to…“

She whips around, holding on to the mug so tightly her knuckles turn white. Clinging to it as if it was a life-line.

“I have to what? Be perfect, so that the mighty Sam Dalton isn’t embarrassed by his sick wife? Because that’s inconvenient for you?“ She retorts bitterly, huffing out a breath.

I inhale a sharp breath, my jaw clenching, trying to regain some sort of control over myself. She’s looking for a fight. I know her. But I don’t want to give in. Biting down hard on my bottom lip.

Counting down to five and let out a breath I was holding in.

“What do you mean? Where is that coming from? I love you Addi, what makes you think I’d be embarrassed? I’m trying to shield you from nasty comments people would make. I don’t want you to have to endure that. Please be reasonable, Addi. It’s not about me. I worry about you. You don’t eat well, you can’t sleep. The doctors said you should cut down your hours. You’re overworking your body, when it’s clear that you’re tired. You…“

She makes a wide gesture dismissing me, spreads her hands and counts on her fingers.

“You have to do this, you have to do that. Are you listening to yourself, Sam? I’m dying.“ I can see tears welling in her eyes. Ready to spill forward. Her green eyes pleading with me.

I get up from the chair I’ve been sitting on and walk towards her, to embrace her, but she takes a step back and my arms fall limply to my sides, my fists clenching. My lips pressed together in a thin line.

“Don’t say that Addi. We can still find a solution. Nothing’s written in stone…“

“Please I just…I’m tired Sam,“ she whispers. She swallows visibly and continues. Shaking her head

“I’m tired of all the probing, testing and all the hospital visits,“ her voice breaks and her whole body shakes with her sobs. I turn my head, not wanting her to see my tearstained face.

This time when I take her in my arms, she doesn’t say anything.

“Shh. It’s going to be okay.“

I don’t know who it is I’m trying to convince more.

Her or me.

She buries her face in my shirt, leaving wet spots everywhere. Clenching and unclenching her hands in my shirt.

I gently brush my fingers through her hair, not caring that it’s a wig. I just want to feel her.

Just us and nobody else. Even though she lost weight, she’s still the most beautiful woman to me. Moving my hands up and down of the small of her back trying to show her I’m here, and that I’m not going anywhere.

It feels like hours have passed rather than minutes. She steps back and wipes away some remaining tears. Her gaze unfocused. Glazed over.

“All I’m asking for Sam is time. To just think,“ she closes her eyes, her lashes casting crescent like shadows on her pale skin.

She continues on absently. Hands slightly shaking as she brushes a strand of hair behind her left ear.

“I promise I’ll take care of me. Don’t worry too much. Then I’ll be back for the appointment so we can receive more bad news, from Dr. Rodney,“ she said with a finality that scared me.

“Actually his name is Dr. Ramsey…“ I start but she stops me with her words.

“I don’t fucking care what his name is,“ she all but shouts at me.

“What makes you think, the opinion of that doctor at Edenbrook will be any different, from the dozen others we’ve sought out in New York, Sam? Let’s face it. I have stage four ovarian cancer, and I’m going to die. I tried chemotherapy, but the cancer has already spread to my lungs. It’s too aggressive,“ she shakes her head violently as if she was trying to shake off the memories. Her strands of hair flinging wildly around her face.

“Maybe there’s something else we can try. A different treatment plan or maybe radiotherapy?

What about surgery?“ I suggest. The ideas taking root in my mind. Giving me some hope.

“I also read there are new case studies that have shown some promise…“

She shudders like she can’t stomach the thought.

“I don’t want to be their lab rat. I made my peace with this Sam. You should do the same.“

The finality in her voice ringing in my ear like a constant echo.

I rake my hands through my hair, feeling myself getting more frustrated by the minute

“So that’s it? You’re ready to just give up? That’s not the Addison I know. The Addison that I know and love would fight this with everything she has.“

Her eyes flash with anger

“Then maybe you don’t know me as well as you think you do. I don’t want to have this conversation with you over and over again. We’re constantly fighting. This is leading nowhere,“ her voice wobbles.

“I’m sorry, Addie. I just want to help you, and I’m feeling at a loss here, because I don’t know how. You’re shutting me out. And I don’t know what to do,“ I mutter sadly.

She looks at me with her tear stained face.

My heart breaking in two. For both of us. Because she’s right, every doctor we saw, said the same thing: “It’s terminal“. But I can’t give up. Not just because of Addi, but also because of the twins. Who will never get the chance to know their mom properly.

With those words she leaves the kitchen and gets dressed. I stand there not able to move or say anything. With a final thud the front door closes and I’m alone.

Out of sheer anger and frustration I throw the mug against the wall and let out a cry of frustration.

The mug shatters into a million of pieces. Coffee spilling on the white wall. Dripping in slow rivulets down the floor. Creating a black puddle. I slide down the wall burying my head in my hands. The only thing that can be heard is me breathing and the tears that I don’t want anyone else to see.

Where did we go wrong?

If you’ve read this story thank you from the bottom of my heart. Let me know if you’d like to be tagged or removed. Lots of love PR 💚

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[genshin-obsessed]

Your blog is everything I wanted and more. Im a lurker for your writings ahaha if you can guess who i am 👀

How about the guys reacting to s/o's death. Can be a group writing but if its too much, just Diluc, Childe, Razor and Kaeya would be nice. I think they would have interesting reactions >:3

First of all, Anon. I LOVE YOU. I wanted to write this out but thought it might be a bit too much but then you went and requested it!! I guess I have no choice but to write this out! >:) (That’s also why I did all the characters) second. Guess who you are o: may I get a hint? I have 2 people in my mind tho o: Warnings: Death, mentions of blood, angst. Pure angst.

Sidenote: The woman in this is my OC named Toxin! Whenever I need a really big, bad villain, she’s my go-to! That’s all!

Includes: Aether, Kaeya, Venti, Diluc, Razor, Xiao, Xingqiu, and Childe!

Scaramouche & Zhongli Here | Part 2 Here

You Die!

You ran as fast as your feet would carry you, desperate for an escape. A scream erupted from your lips as the ground shook beneath you, causing you to stumble and fall over. You had received an emergency request to help fight… someone. The request wasn’t very detailed but someone needed help and you couldn’t turn your back on them. So, you went ahead and tried to help.

You should’ve been careful. You should’ve brought help. But you didn’t and you were paying for your stupidity. The person that you were fighting was strong. She was tall, pale, and had long black hair. Her unearthly glowing green eyes were terrifying. She was fast and all of your attacks were unable to touch her.

As you ran, only one thought crossed your mind. The smiling image of your boyfriend. Tears welled up in your eyes, blurring your vision as you tried to run. How you wished you could be in his arms, feeling safe and sound.

As you ran out of the forest and down the field, the woman appeared in front of you, catching you in her arms and stabbing you with a poison dagger. You shrieked as your hands curled around her clothes. The sharp pain turned into a burning sensation and you looked up at her. Her face was inches away and she smirked, her eyes glowing bright by the second.

“Finally. But you’re not the only one I wanted to break.” What? What did she mean? Her head turned to the left and you followed her gaze and the second you saw what she was looking at, your heart shattered.

The woman pulled the dagger out and it seemed to vanish as she smirked at your boyfriend. The tears slid down your cheeks as you weakly reached out to him for help.

“(F/N)!” His heart stopped as he watched the woman disappear and you fall to the floor. He sprinted to you, picking you up in his arms as blood poured out of the wound. “H-hey! Hey, keep your eyes open! J-Just stay awake!” He held your head against his chest, trying to calm himself, but how could he? You were bleeding out in front of him. 

He looked down and ran his fingers along your cheek as your skin started to turn purple. The poison had taken its effect and it was moving fast. You were leaving, you would leave him just like Lumine left him. He was gonna be alone all over again.

“A-Aether… I-I l-love you.”

“I love you too! You’ll be fine, everything’s g-gonna be ok.” Who was he kidding? You weren’t going to make it. But he couldn’t admit it. Aether still had yet to find Lumine and he’d never gotten over losing her. You, you were his light. You were his guiding start. You were his moon, his everything. 

To think that he could lose you? No, no! He didn’t want it. He didn’t want a world without you. A world without you was pure torture. So why? Why was the universe so hellbent on taking things away from him? Why did it demand everything precious to him?!

Why you? 

A pained cry left his lips as your hand fell to your side and that light disappeared from your eyes. “N-no. No, no, no, no! W-wake up! Please wake up! Do-don’t leave me! Don’t you leave me too! Not like this! PLEASE DON’T LEAVE ME!” He held your lifeless body against him, his head pressed against your chest. He couldn’t hear it… he couldn’t hear your heartbeat.

“No… NO!” He ran as fast as his feet could carry him and caught you before you hit the ground. The woman had disappeared but he didn’t care. You were… you were dying! How could he stop it? He wanted to stop the bleeding, he wanted to stop the way your color was changing, he wanted to stop time!

“K-Kaeya… h-how-”

“I was told to come here. A messenger came to me and said you called me and told me to come here.” He explained, taking your cold hand into his, pressing a kiss against it.

“I-I’m sorry…”

“No. Don’t apologize and don’t close your eyes. Please, just stay up a little longer.” He wanted to pick you up and run to the nearest doctor, but he knew… it wasn’t worth it. He wouldn’t make it. He’d never felt so worthless and weak. He swore to protect you and keep you safe and now that you needed him… he was useless.

“T-tired…” Slowly, your eyes closed and your hand fell limp in his. Kaeya’s eyes widened as the tears slid down his cheek.

“(f-f/n)? B-baby! No, wait! Don’t do this! Pl-please no!” He took your hand and pressed it against his cheek, but the second he loosened his grip, it fell. Kaeya shook his head, tears flooding down his cheek as a scream erupted from his mouth. “(F/N)!!!”

Slow. He was too slow. Why couldn’t he be fast enough?! That woman, he knew her. He knew her and he vowed to hunt her down and tear her to shreds. But right now…

Venti picked you up with trembling hands, letting his now bloodied hands touch your cheek. He couldn’t even talk, his voice quivered as he looked down into your eyes. No. This wasn’t happening. You weren’t going to leave him like this.

“H-hey, love. E-everything’s going to be just fine. You’re fine.” He tried to keep his smile up but it was so damn hard when he knew the truth. He couldn’t do anything, he couldn’t even lie to himself. You were slipping away and all he could do was watch. He knew he was the weakest of all archons but why? Why couldn’t he be a little bit stronger to save you.

“I-I wa-wanna sl-sleep-”

“NO!” He frowned and pressed a kiss to your lips. “No, don’t sleep. Not yet. Just stay awake a little longer and then we can both sleep together tonight.” You weakly nodded, but you couldn’t stay awake any longer. You felt like you were moving, but your body was slowly going numb, until everything disappeared. “(f/n)? (f-f/n)? H-hey! Hey this isn’t a joke! WAKE UP! WAKE UP, PLEASE, PLEASE WAKE UP!”

The second he saw the woman step away from you, a fiery phoenix flew towards her, but she’d disappeared before it could hit her. Diluc ran to you as he watched your body fall to the ground.

He fell to his knees and quickly picked you up, shaking you a little. There was something that snapped inside. He’d always kept his composure, but after seeing what had happened, his emotions burst out of him. He wasn’t in control of anything. He couldn’t control his thoughts, emotions… or your death.

“It’ll be fine! Everything’s fine!” He said, pressing his hand to the wound. You winced at the pain as your skin started to turn purple and blood spilled out of your mouth.

“I-I’m so-sorry.” He shook his head, taking your face in his hands.

“No. I’m sorry. I sh-should’ve gotten here faster.” He was still trying to convince himself you were going to be fine, but deep down, he knew the truth. He knew the ugly truth that was coming up.

“D-Diluc… y-you’re pretty.” His eyes clenched shut at your words as a tear slid down his cheek.

“Don’t leave. Th-there are so many things I-I want to do with you. Pl-please don’t leave me. Wh-what d-do I do?” You smiled weakly at him.

“Y-you b-be the Darknight H-hero…” He scoffed and looked down at you.

“Without you… I’m nothing.” You wanted to say more, you wanted to deny his words, but you were so tired. Slowly, the world faded away and you could no longer hear his cries. “No! NO! NO!! DON’T DO THIS TO ME! STOP! COME BACK! PLEASE BRING MY (F/N) BACK!”

The wolf within had appeared but he wasn’t able to catch up before the woman disappeared. He ran to you and picked you up, seeing the blood gushing out of the wound.

“N-no! (f/n)!” Tears flooded his eyes as he watched your color turn purple. That woman, she reeked of poison so she must’ve poisoned you.

“Shhh…” You muttered, holding your hand to his cheek. “D-don’t c-cry.” He didn’t know what to do. He felt so lost and helpless, but the worst part… he knew what was coming. He shook his head vehemently and tried to pick you up, but you let out a cry of pain, making him lower you back down.

“I c-can save you!”

“I-it’s ok… it’s ok, Razor. I… I’ll be ok.” He hated those words. He hated everything you were saying so much. Razor adored you, he missed you every second he couldn't be with you and normally, he’d never hate your words. But today… right now, he hated how right you were. He shook his head as the tears slid down his cheeks as he felt you slip away.

“Do-don’t do this t-to me. Not you too… they left me. Why do you want to leave me too?” You weakly tugged him down and made him kiss you, but half way through the kiss, he felt your head fall back and he knew. You were gone.

He knew that woman that had done this to you. He knew her and he was going to make sure she paid. But right now… right now you were more important. Xiao took you in his arms as tears started to fill his eyes. He’d never felt like this before and he hated feeling like this.

You made him feel so powerful, so invincible, so untouchable. But right now, he felt so vulnerable and broken. If he had been faster, if he had just gotten here faster he could’ve saved you. He could’ve been hugging you, seeing your skin bright with life, seeing your glimmering eyes, seeing that dazzling smile. But no, he was a failure.

A sob escaped his lips as he watched you starting to slip away. He pulled you close, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“D-don’t do this. Pl-please don’t leave me. Y-you pro-promised you w-wouldn’t do this to me!” He looked down at you but you still had that angelic smile on your face. Why? Why would you do this?! You touched his cheek and spoke; your voice was a quiet whisper, but he heard it.

“I-I love y-you, Xiao…” He shook his head and glared at the sky before shutting his eyes. He didn’t want to see it. He didn’t want to see this happening to you.

“I love you too. S-so much.” He felt your body go limp and another sob escaped his lips. “Y-you pr-promised you’d c-come back to me.” He raised your face closer to him and pressed a kiss against your lips. “P-please come back to me. I-I can’t live without you… I do-don’t want to.”

He sprinted down the hill towards where you lay, gathering you in his arms when he was at the bottom. He didn’t know what to do, there was so much blood, so much poison, and no hope. He fell beside you and pressed his hands onto the wound as blood gushed out.

“No, no, no, no, no, no, it’s ok, it’s ok, everything’s just fine!” You winced in pain in your torso, but it didn’t last very long. It only took a minute before you lost feeling in your legs and arms.

“Xingqiu… i-it hurts.”

“I know, I know and I’m so sorry! If I was faster, I could’ve helped you. It’ll be ok, I promise, my love. I won’t stop until you’re taken care of.” Why didn’t he believe his own words? Maybe it was the fading light in your eyes, maybe it was the color draining from your face, maybe it was the sheer amount of blood that poured from the wound… but Xingqiu didn’t have a single ounce of hope. Why? Why was the world doing this to him? Why was it punishing you like this? Did he do something? Did he commit a sin that was so unforgivable that the universe or the gods would punish someone as sweet and amazing as you?

He wanted to cry, but he bit his lip to hold the tears back. His eyes were glossy and his vision was blurry, but he refused to cry. He wasn’t going to show you the fleeting hope in him. He wasn’t going to show you that he was  a liar.

“Xingqiu… w-will y-you g-give me one l-last kiss?” His head snapped to you and he shook his head.

“It won’t be our last kiss! We’ll have more chances. We’ll have so many more chances.” He did kiss you however. It was short and sweet, as he returned to applying pressure onto the wound. His eyes flickered to you for a second before his entire body tensed. You were staring at the sky… with dull, lifeless eyes. “(f-f/n)? H-hey… hey wake up.” He gently shook your shoulders. “Hey, stop. Th-this isn’t funny! I know you like playing tricks on me but this isn’t funny! St-stop!!” Finally, he broke. He laid his head on your chest as his tears started to flow. 

“NO!” Oh, he knew that woman well. He’d worked with her once. She was, indeed, powerful. She was a killing machine and there was a time where he was impressed by her. But right now he felt nothing but pure hatred for her. But that had to wait, because you… you were dying.

Childe pulled you into his arms, holding you against his chest and kissing your head. He was trembling and his emotions were a mess. Tears trailed down his cheeks as he looked down at you. The wound oozed with red and purple, so he knew you’d been poisoned.

“H-hey, darling. You ok? Everything’s just gonna be ok, you hear me?” You gave him a weak nod as you looked down at the wound. However, he took your face and made you look up at him. “No, no. Just look at me. Nothing but me.”

“I-I won’t… I’m tired.”

“HEY! Don’t you dare close those beautiful eyes on me! Everything’s going to be fine! Everything… everything is fine. Do you hear me? Don’t you dare even think about leaving me. Don’t you… don’t do it. Please, god I’m begging you (f/n)! Don’t leave me all alone in this world!”

“I-I ca-can’t stay…”

“Yes, y-yes you can! You can’t leave me, please d-don’t.. I-I don’t know what to do! What am I supposed to do?! Just go on, pretending everything’s ok?! JUST PRETEND LIKE THE LOVE OF MY LIFE DIDN’T LEAVE ME?!”

“Shh… d-don’t get so angry.”

“I-” He sighed, taking in a shaky breath, “I love you so much i-it’s hard to breathe without you. Do-don’t take away m-my reason for li-living.” You didn’t answer. You only weakly smiled before your eyes closed and your head fell back. Childe’s eyes widened and he shook his head. “N-no. No- HEY! No, no, no! Please no!” He held you against his chest as he let out a scream. What else could he do besides cry.

Your boyfriend stood up, holding you tightly in his arms. There was only one thought in his mind as he glared in the direction the woman had gone. 

There was nothing left for him. So he wouldn’t stop; he would relentlessly hunt that woman down and tear her apart completely. That way, she could feel an ounce of his pain.

[legendofzoodles]

Era of Hylia Lore 2

Demise’s War against Hylia

So, the world of LOZ was created by Din, Farore and Nayru. They had the ultimate say in what to put into this world, probably spent a good amount of time on it and therefore probably didn’t want to see it destroyed. If that’s the case then why does Demise exist? Was he created by all three of them or just Din? If so, why would the gods created something that could destroy everything else they had created?

I don’t like the idea that he was created by the gods and was evil just cause chaos as some sort of experiment, because that’s not very compelling. Let’s say he was created by the gods, and he wasn’t made inherently evil. Such that his tribe was just a tribe like all the others (sure they were demons living underground, but that don’t mean they’re automatically evil). And like any other tribe, they sought to expand their territory and gain power. To achieve this, they waged war on the surface tribes- who at that point had all been assimilated into Hylia’s land, so it was basically a war against her directly and take over her land.

Then again, fact that Demise’s forces come from a fissure in the ground is interesting. Like did he and Hylia have beef even before the war? Maybe Hylia had a tussle with them in the past, but because they weren’t very powerful back then and weren’t deserving of her protection, she just sealed them underground (this would be before Allen’s time). Angering their king, who learnt from the battle and spent the next century or two learning magic and crafting his own version of the Goddess sword and Ghirahim.

Ooh sidenote: Fi isn’t special. I mean, she’s the spirit in the Goddess sword so she is, but inherently she isn’t. By that I’m suggesting that any powerful magic wielder can create an intelligent life form that exists in/is a weapon. Of course, some would be more powerful than others depending on who made them, with Fi being the most powerful to exist because a Goddess made her.

Demise had a strange piece of dialogue in the final battle in SS. I can’t remember what it was exactly, but it was something about how Hylia reincarnating was stupid and how pitiful the human form is compared to her divine one. And I’m thinking that...Demise respected Hylia. I don’t think he hates her like he hates Sky, and I’m gonna go out on a limb here and suggest that Demise was inspired by the Goddess Sword and forged his blade to be like to Hylia’s. They’re practically equal and opposite swords, so similar in design that it can’t have been just a coincidence, right?

Anyway, Hylia had known for a while that the demon tribe would launch an attack. Maybe the Golden Goddess warned her through visions, maybe she foresaw the event in dreams or maybe after the battle I proposed earlier Demise straight up told her that he’d return with a vengeance. This might have prompted her to pick up a hero and take on the beta-Sheikah as her servants in the first place. Extra muscle to secure her victory and legacy.

The reason she didn’t do anything to stop the attack before it happened was...uh...idk, she was arrogant and didn’t see them as a threat or something like that.

Once the actual war starts and thousands of bloodthirsty monsters, demons and low-level grunts pour out from the gaping split, the surface dwellers are kinda collectively fucked

Like, all their armies were dismantled by Allen and his crew under Hylia’s orders, so they were vastly outnumbered. No one other than Allen’s crew were especially good at fighting as there was peace in Hylia’s land, so no need for soldiers. They weren’t really given time to train up a proper army because Demise basically popped up out of nowhere.

It descended into total chaos, as Hylia grossly underestimated her enemy and had to watch the land she took care of crumble apart as her people fled in panic, rag tad resistance groups made up mostly of peasants and low-skilled tradesmen were slaughtered and tribes turn against each other in a bit to save themselves. They may have all shared the land under Hylia’s rule but they were not united.

Seeing the writing on the wall (though it was more like hastily printed chicken scratch), Hylia acted swiftly, gathering together all the living Hylians and leading them to the Sacred Grounds in preparation to be sent skyward bound.

When I played SS, I thought it weird that Hylia took the Hylians up to the sky and seemingly left the other tribes on the war-torn surface to eat shit and fend for themselves. I wasn’t sure if it was because she was instructed by the Golden Trio to protect just the Hylians, or if she herself wanted to take only them or if she had the power to only take them and physically couldn’t manage anymore.

Tbh, I still don’t have an answer that puts her in an honorable light, at best it makes her incompetent. Saving only one tribe when there are others (these being the gorons, beta-Zora, other now extinct races etc.) in desperate need of help is a dick move on her part. The only way to justify this negligence is if they actively avoided her help and took Demise’s attack as an opportunity to free themselves and flee. Since they didn’t help each other, they obviously didn’t extend a helping hand to the conqueror who low-key put them in the situation to begin with.

While Hylia was executing the mass evacuation of the Hylians, Allen and the boys were deep in the fray, holding back Demise’s forces from reaching the Sacred Grounds. Uh, they fail and they all die, with Allen never even getting the chance to fight Demise. That’s right, he dies to the onslaught of grunts, not even making it to Ghirahim- who’s in humanoid form and kicking ass I guess.

This has to be how it went down because Demise himself says this in the final fight, “Extraordinary. You stand as a paragon of your kind, human. You fight like no human or demon I have ever known.” meaning that he never even encountered the first hero, that or he put up such a pathetic fight that Demise forgot his existence. Which...oof.

I’m gonna say here that Allen fell because he didn’t have the backup he needed, he had all the heart and courage in the world, but lacked power in the form of aid from others. Wild in AoC couldn’t defeat the Calamity without the help of every tribe in Hyrule. And Allen being some dude who got a little power boost needed people to stand by him as well as the support of Hylis. However, the tribes he once subjugated abandoned him, the Hylians who had been coddled and looked after for years were too useless to even be meat-shields and his Goddess had left him alone in order to save what was left of her people.

Allen didn’t have the Triforce of Courage or any special magic, so he likely clung to the power of the Goddess Sword and relied to much on it’s strength rather than his own. It’s no wonder he failed, he was literally just some guy, he wasn’t as untouchable as many thought.

Hylia had to face Demise herself. After starting the process of lifting up land into the firmament (I think with the Triforce), she flew down on her crimson loftwing, used her divine powers to decimate Demise’s army as she soared past the front lines- seeing the mangled corpses of Allen’s comrades as she passed.

Suddenly a faint light from below caught her eye, she flew down to see Fi waving at her. The exhausted spirit informed her that the hero had fallen and that only she could stop Demise from taking over the world. There was no time to waste, Fi transformed once again into sword form held now by her true master, as she raced into battle.

Hylia reaches the Demon King amidst a wasteland littered with the freshly deceased of both their people. She speaks first, berating the monster for his unjust attack, his cruelty toward her people, his cowardness for letting his minions lead the charge and his unholy defiance for challenging the Goddess of Light.

Demise is unfazed by her accusations, amused by her anger and responds calmly. He tells her that he gave her a fair warning, that it is her fault for not taking his threat seriously and prepare accordingly. He rightly lists all the times she imposed her will and control over others because she arrogantly believed it was for their benefit. Of course nobody would stand by her after all she’s done, why risk your life when you have your own to protect? And in this case what he’s doing now is what she has done for centuries, only difference being, she’s on the losing side this time. In his opinion he sees no point in wasting his strength on those weaker than him. But if he is a coward for having minions to carry out his orders, then Her Grace is no different, for she hides behind the mighty blade forged for her yet wielded by some lowly human he’s never even seen. Not to mention that he doesn’t need the Goddess’ support, for he found a way to rise to their level with his own power alone (yeah I’m talking dark magic, but is that inherently evil?). As far as he’s considered, they’re equals.

This disgusts Hylia, who immediately engages the fiend in combat, using the Goddess Sword effectively against his deformed cursed blade (Ghirahim was in blade form when Hylia approached him I suppose), recalling the many lessons she had with Allen. His teachings proved advantageous and along with the full might of the Goddess Sword she weakened Demise just enough for her to seal him away with her power...or the Triforce...or both, whichever.

Once the ordeal finally over Hylia begins to take in the shear devastation the conflict caused. She wanders the tattered rubble covered foundations where cozy homes once stood, the bloodied trampled flowers that bloomed in the once lush green fields and the murky waters of the now heavily polluted rivers that branched out across the landscape like veins, connecting every broken part of the land. Their blood was on her hands, she could have prevented this but didn’t. Why? What went wrong? She had all the power and wisdom in the world, yet here she was standing alone as her empire collapsed.

Well, she wasn’t alone. Allen was alive (barely), and Fi led the confused and tired Goddess to where he lay. Upon seeing her champion so thoroughly brutalised made Hylia weep and regret ever getting him involved in this. What had she been thinking? He wasn’t ready for any of this. The duty fell on her to protect what the Golden Trio created, yet she put the burden onto others and for what? For them to die in a hopeless struggle?

The Goddess can only watch the man slowly bleed out, she cannot heal him for she needs to conserve what’s left of her power to complete the last part of her plan.

The hero himself knows he is dying and accepts it, he was honoured to fight in her name and apologises for failing her, his comrades and their people. Hylia insists that he did not fail her, in fact it was the opposite, she had failed them and in the spur of the moment poured out her plans to reincarnate herself to maintain the seal on Demise, build up her strength to finally defeat him once and for all in the future.

Which was a mistake, because Allen insists that he be reincarnated too so that he can carry out what he started and avenge his comrades...heroic stuff like that. Hylia wanted to let him rest and join his loved ones in the afterlife (or the other world or wherever dead people end up in LOZ), but she honoured his dying wish and entwined their fates together. In another lifetime, they would end this.

~~~

Lore for the Era of Hylia 1

Lore for the Era of Hylia 3

[lesbianincelsnape]

I wrote some of that love potion fic, experimenting with “excerpt based goals” rather than “wordcount based goals” (in this case it meant that I posted to my fiction channel that if I didn’t post 5 excerpts I’d donate $50 to GiveDirectly) and here’s what I have

1.

Such potions required dangerous ingredients forbidden to him in the abbey. But there were certain laws that dictated when simpler ingredients could substitute for more complex ones. The market in dragon's teeth would be obliterated overnight if every brewer simply had the patience and skill for... but never mind. His mind had been working all day on how he might create such a mind-control potion with only what he had in stock.

It was a solved problem – he had come up, in theory, two different ways to do it, both brews taking over two years to come to fruition. An intellectual puzzle, nothing more. But as he lay awake - absently rubbing his bare calves against the sheets - reviewing those two solutions and willing himself to generate a more elegant third, he suddenly saw a different way those mental pieces could fit together, into... what? –

He followed that chain of thought. It was as if his mind had lifted up and started gliding towards a light.

2.

Pearl dust, rose thorns, peppermint, all standard ingredients in an expanded beginner's kit –

His hair, his memory, a teardrop, a drop of semen –

In theory, just in theory –

He was wide awake, suddenly, heart hammering. A rectangle of moonlight bisected his wide, bare room, and its bright edges throbbed in his vision. He mentally retraced his steps, motionless.

"I may have invented the best love potion in the world," he told that light on the stone.

3.

The clock caught Harry's eye – a little past three. He looked around for the vial, found it on the counter behind him. He uncorked it, preemptively grimacing against the bitterness, and poured it directly on the entrance of his throat, hoping to avoid taste bud contact entirely.

It flowed down his throat, almost flexing his tongue for him into a swallow

!

of that liquid, rich like whiskey... or bone broth concentrate, it was organic, like some expensive and healthy animal had been killed to make it.

Organic, that was the right word, there was something so body-y about the taste that it was reminiscent of sex, or a sick ward. He disbelieved it could be evocative of both even as both notes rang through his body, slowly and exquisitely replaced by a sweet aftertaste: poppy honey lining his esophagus, amazing.

The flavor suffused Harry as he buckled onto the floor. Pain erupted in his knees like a fire alarm going off one house over. He was laughing in amazement because he was a child, watching his mother heal the scrapes on his knees with just her wand. He had seen her use it before, but here, seeing it applied to this his own skin, he was registering with new clarity that his mother lived with one foot outside of this world. He was constantly chasing after her, hungry for her attention, wanting her to turn around and look at him when she spoke back to answer his question. He asked questions because that was what she turned around for the most.

Sidenote: One thing I want for Snape's compressed life narration as he grows up in this story is for him to stop using his own name in his self-narration. when he is a boy, Severus is Severus, and in adulthood he mostly stops using his name for himself – as his desire to name himself in the world, to look at himself, decreases sharply. So he is just ‘he’ in his adult self-narration:

4.

And there was the child, whose existence hung in the distance like a frozen arrow. He knew it was an infant. Yet it was a bundle of nerves and blood and magic that as going grow and become smarter and eventually hate him. It was eerie that this thing would hate him, but didn't yet. He knew he wasn't allowed to hate it back if it didn't hate him. And yet, it was destined to, so was he allowed to hate it back or? The hate tore at him the way it didn't tear at him when aimed was real hateable people. He didn't want to be the kind of person who hated a baby. Babies were stupid and harmless, if annoying – he knew that. There was truly something nonsensical about hating something that couldn't even talk yet. And yet he did. It split him apart.

5.

"You haven't lived like someone who expected an accounting," he said into Snape's ear. "When you defected to Dumbledore, you thought, that was it, Dumbledore was holding you to account. But it wasn't a high bar, right? He expected you to be a low, miserable bully, unable to haul himself out of his depressions? And you fulfilled his expectations for over a decade. Never thinking there would be a more stringent accounting. You bloody fool, you thought your life was over? That the grading was done? That you didn't have to grow, because no one would love you enough to judge you for it in any important way?"

Snape made a kind of whistling noise through his nose, hard.

"I love you," said Harry harshly, "now, and so – you are now being judged again. I am looking at you, oriented to you. There is someone to disappoint."

[fashion4standusers]

okay joining the bandwagon, i got a little collection of jojo ocs and so far i've been doing pretty good design-wise. However, I've been struggling to conceptualize a few of them. Most notably, my SBR cowboy maiden. Love her tons just... can't get a design/not sure where to start. I can say, however, she is being based around the song Gira Gira by ADO and specifically it's lyrics/aesthetic if that helps any i just dont know how to get it all to work together lol

so after listening to the song the major thing that i'm thinking of is that she wears a literal mask of some kind-- either a masquerade-type mask that covers the top half of her face or a full-face mask. i think the half-mask would make her seem more mysterious, while a full face mask would be more creepy; masquerade masks have an air of glamour, while a full mask is unsettling because you can't read the emotions of the person underneath at all. so, you'd have to ask yourself if you want the character to be fairly down-to-earth or more eerie.

i think she should also have some sort of big, wide-brim hat-- either a cowboy hat (duh) or some kind of big sun hat-- or maybe a hood. for the rest of her clothes, it might just be the image in the YT video influencing me, but i think of something a bit flowy and lacy. i'd say either make her top OR her skirt/pants loose and ethereal, and then make the other piece a bit tighter, more colorful, more JoJo-ish, if that makes sense. like, a lace blouse with wide sleeves paired with leather pants, or a long tiered skirt paired with a patterned halter top a la Jolyne.

Photos under the cut!

here's some stuff that i could picture fitting well with the concept you gave:

Kentucky Derby hat / Andre' Lucat SS18 / Betsey Johnson SS94 / Bora Aksu SS22 / KNWLS FW22 / Anastasia Pilepchuk / Orville Peck

(sidenote: whoever at tumblr decided to make it so fucking hard to format photos on desktop/literally not possible to format photos in asks, i hope someone pours milk in your underwear drawer)