#silly ezio

[isa-belle1367]

Ok, so actually, the reason why altair couldn't swim in ac1 was because of a glitch in the animus. However, desmond doesn't know that. So imagine desmond just assuming altair can't swim *when he can.* Now, just imagine the chaos.

"Omg, altair, get away from the pool you're gonna drown!"

"Wtf no I'm not."

"Bs you can't swim for shit."

"YES I CAN TF?"

(In walks ezio.) "Did I just hear altair can't swim?"

"I CAN SWIM IDK WHY DESMOND THINKS I CANT."

"Omg, Altair can't swim!"

"Ezio I swear to fucking God"

"Be quiet. I can take you out with a hose."

*altair jumps in the pool to prove he can swim*

"WTF YOU CAN TOUCH WATER AND NOT DIE?! WHEN DID YOU LEARN THIS?!"

"Since, uh, idk BIRTH"

[sc4llywag]

Ac Tumblr fandom I love you but when I see Ezio dialogue and there's a mention of "my friend" or "oh my God" specifically in Italian, it is vital to say dio MIO, not mio dio!

That also goes for amico mio, not sure why these rules are like they are but I've established them with an Italian friend of mine and hope you guys learned some silly factoid today! Love you writers and meme makers<3

Any corrections are appreciated 👍

[tinyoctopusgirl]

don't talk to me or my son ever again

(sadly, the small ezio plush got refunded to me because it didn't reach enough people :( )

[tendebill]

*kisses you platonically*

mwah mwah mwah >:3c <3333

i have three ezios lined up in my wip folder but i do not have the strength to start them yet lol. someday tho.... their time will come.... (same for my other wips, because man there is a lot of them)

[thatcrazycrowgirl]

Assassins/Templars as Someecards:

Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad:

Ezio Auditore:

Connor Kenway/Ratonhnhaké:ton:

Haytham Kenway:

Aveline de Grandpré:

Edward Kenway:

Shay Cormac:

Arno Dorian:

Élise de la Serre:

Jacob Frye:

Evie Frye:

Bayek of Siwa:

Alexios:

Kassandra:

Eivor:

[lestatlioncunt]

the day i'll resurrect my ac2 oc it's going to be over for you all

[monterigatoni]

Changed my url if you're confused about who I am. Was gostisbeeshere, but no longer

[mylonelydreaming]

It's been over a decade but part of me still hasn't recovered from this

[lyranova]

Since I wasn’t able to write anything today I decided to make OC inspired drinks using THIS picrew! From Left to Right; Neva, Alistar, Ezio, and Aloys~! Feel free to make your OC’s (or canon characters) if you want 🥰!

[theghostofwilburtheworm]

crying about your own ocs feels pretty silly for me, yeah dude im crying a lot no nothing happen its just these lil guys i made in my head i made them too sad so they made me sad

[isa-belle1367]

What do you think would happen if Connor, Altair and Ezio all travelled in time to before Desmond died? Can you list some headcanons on how they would all interact with one another and how they would react to modern day stuff?

Omg I'm so sorry this took so long to respond to. I have notifications for Tumblr off, so sorry but I will absolutely do this. 😈

Desmond's brain due to the bleeding effect, defaults to "This isn't real, so it doesn't matter what I say." so he is extremely honest and unhinged around them.

Connor would HATE fast food, like with a burning passion. He would think its gross, oversalted, etc.

they would all be protective of Desmond. Like he needs to go on a field mission and all of them are just like. "You're doing WHAT?" "No, you're not going." "Desmond. You. Are. Not. Doing. That."

Ezio would be so scared at how expensive everything is.

They would bond over their trauma and talk about gruesome topics like they are nothing. "Yeah, so I watched my father get hanged." "Omg no way, I watch my father get murdered by templars." "My dad was a templar, so I had to kill him."

Connor hates all technology, thinks its loud and annoying. Ezio's fine with it, but doesn't use it often, probably has a flip phone. Altair would love technology, mostly bombs, he def loves how far bombs have advanced. Desmond has yelled at him for blowing up the kitchen multiple times.

Altair would teach them the best way to keep their blades in top condition.

Altair and Ezio would basically adopt Connor and make him super unhinged. "Manners? Throw that shit away. Now, have you heard of arson?"

Desmond would mention that Altair didn't know how to swim to Ezio, and Ezio would immediately start pulling water-based pranks on Altair. Bucket of water in the doorway, shoving him in the pool etc. Altair is extremely confused.

Desmond makes broke boy spaghetti and Ezio has an aneurism.

They would all hate bill but for different reasons. Altair hates him because Bill reminds him of Al Mualim. Ezio hates him because no mentor should hit their student, he thinks he is a disgrace to the brotherhood. Connor hates him because he just gets bad vibes from him.

When they discovered air conditioning, they nearly died.

Altair nearly died of heat stroke due to humidity.

Altair would be good at using technology, because he spent his life studying Isu tech.

One time they all went on a mission together and they spent the entire time trying not to laugh. Nothing was accomplished.

All of them absolutely despise the animus. They will smash it to bits given the chance.

They all teach each other their native languages so they can talk shit and not be discovered. Desmond finds this amusing.

Ezio is scared to look at price tags.

They all have silent footsteps and don't realize until they have snuck up on like 5 people and its only noon.

Altair has a coffee addiction. He also has the diet of a pre-med student. red bull mixed with espresso, hopes and prayers, and a small thing of stale fries.

[sc4llywag]

I'm not saying you HAVE to

But I really like getting stupid asks PLEAAAAASE ask me about ass creed or my interests

Putting my interests in the tag fuck you

[sulfies]

Wolves in Romé pt1

Desmond ran. His paws trotting on the stone floors of Rome, with the wind licking at his maw, he did not stop. 

They were after him… the crazy furry cult.. the followers of Romu- Romunucu… or whatever Shaun had called them. They weren't so silly once they appeared to be real and very much after Desmond.

Desmond who had a tail and two furry ears and paws and a whole wolf body. Desmond who had woken down at the sanctuary that held that ugly armour, covered in fur, no longer human.

Did Rome even have wolves?

An arrow flew past him and he stopped his flashback with a sad inhuman yelp to keep on running. Didn’t these guys worship wolves, shouldn’t his species be considered sacred to them or something?

His paws slipped slightly on the smooth dirty stones as he took a left to an empty alley. He was glad it was dead of night, Desmond did not think crowds could handle a wolf running up and down the streets. 

Another arrow flew past as Desmond tried to plan his route, he remembered that there was an entrance to a forest he could maybe get to if he took a turn two streets down to the left… or was it to the right? He never had to do this without the animus map on his right corner before.

Desmond howled suddenly as pain shot through his back leg.

 He got hit… 

One of them had to hit eventually but damn it hurt. He took a sharp right, eyes blind in pain and crashed muzzle-first onto a dead end.

The kicked puppy noises that left his inhuman form were pretty sad.

“There you are finally! Come here doggy”

3 cackling shadows came over him as he backed into the end, laid low, teeth bared, snarling.

 Desmond knew he was fucked. His new wound was hurting and he was tired, he didn't think he could take all three of them with these odds but at least one would come down with him if he did.

One of the cultists, the one at the front, stepped up holding his sword between them to put distance between his very biteable arm and his sharp teeth. Desmond barked at him and bit the air… teeth clanking in a clear sign of step the fuck away but the man only grinned.

“We have been waiting for you little pup, come on now don't make this hard for us. Romulus is not the most patient…”

Desmond only snarled and growled back again, thunderous rumble from his chest never stopping as the other man swung his sword around his face.

Suddenly, a landing shadow on the clothesline above them caught the corner of his eye.  As he snarled and dripped sylva everywhere for his life he could see the shadow shift and move right above the other two wolf furries slowly, like a predator eyeing its catch.

“Come on you stupid dumb mutt…”

The sword's tip slashed at his muzzle and Desmond's attention shifted back to his main threat as he growled once more, his snarl fully on display as he started tasting blood from the dripping wound. Oh, how he wished he had his gear. 

Busy with keeping the sword in his line of sight, Desmond only saw a glimmer of metal before the two men staying behind, laughing at his desperation, crumbled onto the cold stone road behind his main attacker. There was no other sound as Desmond saw his savior rise from the bodies that cushioned his fall and make his way over in small steps.

If he had lips he would have the biggest grin right now.

“Why don't you leave the poor dog alone Amico, I’m sure we can find a lady that is more of your…taste”

Ezio spoke. 

Desmond knew that voice as if it was his own.

The remaining follower whipped his head around and Desmond saw his opening.

He lunged at the man's arm holding the sword, bringing the man down in a scream with his soft arm in-between his very sharp teeth. They slammed down to the hard ground in a roll and the man, to his credit, managed to land a punch on his nose, kicking him onto a stack of empty crates. Desmond would have been madder if he hadn't taken a chunk of the man's flesh between his blood-soaked muzzle as he was thrown across.

The man's agonized screams filled the alley and left as quickly and abruptly as they started. Desmond could not see what happened from where he was thrown into but he could guess where one or two pointy metal objects could end up in a screaming man on the floor.

When Desmond could get the dirty cover they put over the half-rotten crates out of his eyes and tangled limbs he saw Ezio leaning over the man with a chunk of an arm missing.

Ezio turned his head to where he was lying down, wiping his blades on the dead man's robes.

”You poor thing must have been scary to get chased by these lunatics.”

Yes, it was.

Desmond stayed where he was, breathing heavily as the adrenaline slowly started to leave him.

“Let me look at you little pup… I think I saw his sword hit but it's too dark.”

Desmond huffed what was supposed to be a snort when he saw Ezio slowly get on his knees, hand stretched out, crawling closer over to where Desmond decided to lay inside the old broken crates.

“Come here Cucciolo…” snapping his fingers, he whistled.

He whistled. He didn’t think Desmond was actually a dog…surely. It was dark but he was clearly larger than a village dog with way sharper teeth even in pitch black.

“Come on I won't harm you~”

Yea, I, might harm you! 

If he had been a regular wolf that is, Desmond thought.

Another whistle and Desmond gave up trying to teach Ezio common sense. 

“There you are mi Bello…” Crawling under the boxes and bits he could see Ezio take in his size. “You are a bigger thing than I thought huh, couldn't see much at this hour but not a puppy I recon…” 

Yes… He was very much not a puppy. Desmond rolled his eyes as he stopped in front of Ezio shaking his coat to get rid of bits and dust. Moonlight on his fur the assassin was now finally able to get a real good look at him. 

“Definitely not a puppy… oh boy… Not even a dog are you?”

The hand he held in front of him wavered a bit, clearly wasn't sure if he wanted to keep the limb so accessible now that he knew the animal in front of him wasn't the friendliest of spiciest or a man's best friend.

Ezio wanted to laugh, Desmond also did because why the fuck was Ezio Auditore alone in an alley at night face to face with a wolf he rescued from some crazed bastards. And why was his arm still out!?

“H-how about you don't hurt me?” 

Of course, only Ezio would try to bargain with a wild animal. Stubborn dumbass, but this was a better scenario than having Ezio put him down for a rampage a wolf could cause on the streets.

As the man tensed further, Desmond trotted closer with his eyes on Ezio. His hand was still but he could see from Ezio's face how much he wanted to move it away. 

Once again, stubborn dumbass.

He heard the man take a sharp inhale as he brought his wet nose to his palm, he waited a bit sniffing mostly for show and for Ezio to let go of the breath he held. Slowly, placed his maw onto the open palm, his blood-soaked fur dirtying the man's gloves.

“No way…”

He looked back up to Ezio to find the man's eyes twinkling with glee he had never seen in any memories he watched. Tilting his head into the palm Desmond felt the man finally get the courage he needed to start petting him as his fingers twitched between his sticky fur.

“Leonardo is going to lose his mind… Pazzesco! I am petting a real wolf…” 

He wouldn't be alone, Desmond was losing it for sure. Well, he had been losing it actively since the animus but becoming a wild animal in the 1500s Renaissance? I think he got to a point past therapy on day one of Abstergo kidnapping.

He was a wild animal in Ezio’s Italy…. He was getting pets from THE Ezio Auditore in THE Renaissance.

“Who's a good boy~ Look at that tail wag!”

Oh god, and his tail wagged…. 

Desmond turned his head to look at the betraying limb but when he did the twist bumped his back leg right onto Ezio’s knee. He jolted in a yelp as pain shot through him, he had almost forgotten he had an arrow to his glute.

“Oh Cucciolo... wait a second boy”

Desmond stayed in a low whimper as Ezio dug into his pouches. Getting bandages and a flask, he looked over to the wolf with sympathy.

Lips pressed flat Ezio spoke in a teasing tone his face did not reflect ”Facciamolo… we are going to make a little deal you and I” He placed a gloved hand to his own chest “I promise to help you heal…” then pointed at him…

Desmond looked into his eyes unimpressed as Ezio tried to bargain with, again, a literal wolf. He hoped his animal face was expressive enough to get his point across.

“...and you have to promise not to bite, Capisce?” 

His hands scratched at his ears and Desmond had to admit it felt nice, like a relaxing massage on just the right spot. “This will hurt, I am sorry.” Then the same hands moved slowly toward his legs. Desmond knew Ezio talked from experience when he said his warning.

God and he couldn’t even have alcohol to ease the pain that was about to come!

Ezio’s eyes darted between his wound and his face a few times.

 He was clearly expecting to be bitten.

 Then again what wild animal would not if you yanked an arrow out of them? Desmond could not blame him really for thinking of his limbs when he was making a chew toy out of one a minute ago…

Ezio's hand closed around the arrow shaft in a gentle pressure.

Both of them took a deep breath.

“Please don't bite me!”

Yank.

Desmond was not proud of the voices that came out of him…

[oediex]

My love for gaming is partly anchored in my love for stories. I gravitate towards games that weave a rich narrative involving complex and thoughtful characters in a world to be discovered slowly but impactfully. That's what Dragon Age: Inquisition, with all its flaws, did for me six years ago, and it's how the Mass Effect trilogy crashed into my life only a few months ago, birthing an obsession I didn't know I needed. It's why the Ezio era of the Assassin's Creed series is, in my opinion, still undefeated, and it's what, years ago, kept me playing Horizon: Zero Dawn all the way into the early hours when I really should have been sleeping.

When sequels get caught up in the hype of their forebears and their disappointing ambitions fail to remember their origin in tale-telling, especially while chasing some passing trend only desired by money-loving investors, a light dies in my heart.

Assassin's Creed: Odyssey was, as per Wikipedia, complimented by critics for its story-telling, but I have yet to find the parts that would have brought about such praise. Kassandra is fun, certainly, and her backstory is promising, but I fail to understand her motivations. Perhaps the choice system has something to do with this, but she also seems to be thrown into larger situations that are not warranted by our knowledge of who she is, a young girl growing up to be a mercenary on a small island under the wings of a silly, get-rich-quick schemer who has a penchant for getting into trouble. How does she come to be in command of a ship, despite seemingly having no previous experience with it, and embroiled in a battle of the Peloponnesian War as if she's been fighting wars her whole life? I don't know who this woman is, what drives her, and which experiences inform the actions she undertakes.

I do like her muscled arms, though.

[w0nd3rplay]

time period — teaser + taglist

commission art by @ramshackledtrickster

SUMMARY — silly 14 year old Yoomi Moonstar would always wake up in another world, it's one of her magic's major drawbacks, she'll always find a way to either go back home or stay for a bit then go. But the catch is that: it wasn't her magic at play, it was cancelled out and she time travelled to the mid 1770s. WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING???

In celebration of my 17th birthday coming up this Sunday (and to celebrate Ezio's too!) here's a dramatic yet lowkey time travel crackfic featuring my oc Yoomi entering one of her creator's recently joined fandom (as early as January to March 2024). Featuring: giving two of my fav assassins the fire god liu kang treatment, everyone that died in their respective games? Yeah they're still around! they also got love interests that don't die for the plot! maybe yoomi provides commentary on templar ideology??? Where's Haytham??? Where's Connor's dad??? Who knows. Stay tuned as the first chapter is released on June 23, 2024 12:00 p.m. PST (Philippines Standard Time)

This is not the same Yoomi from the MKverse, and not even an assassin's creed version of her. This is the original Yoomi presented in this bio whom I'm planning to revise her backstory.

TAGLIST (reblog to join or pm @orbitinytheworld if not interested so I can remove you from the list)

@scentedcandleibex @lunar-cherries @laismoura-art @urara04 @theblueshark @ramshackledtrickster @valyrra @iwaslostbeforeijustwantcoolart @doodlers-journal

[irus-yo]

Dante Auditore Da Firenze

Do not ask why. Dante reminded me of Ezio for really silly and odd reason. Lmao.

Here's my actual in game fashion which made me draw this. :3