#since some of us are rereading rn

[kithtaehyung]

[orcelito]

me looking at the sword & cornett manga page & seeing ppl talking about it & seeing mention of orcelito and getting Whiplash bc im so used to NEVER EVER EVER seeing mention orcelito outside of my own so i was like "?!?!?!?!"

like Yeah u dumbass he's the deurotagonist of course ppl r talking about him

[scarletenvy]

Hey it's me the pearlet thingy anon, yes she did mention buying the red bob wig "and I went with pearl" (that's her exact words). You should probably watch mistress isabelle brooks vlog with violet as her guest she kinda give comments there about her s7 sisters, I find it funny because it seems like violet still remember everything that happened that season like when kandy ho try to come for pearl 😭😭😭

thank you for the recommendation !! i admit i’ve been very lousy with following anything drag (race) related the past couple years but i do miss s7 so much so i’ll definitely check that one out !!

[munchy-k]

danmei list that no one asked for (long post incoming)

ok so I've accumulated a pretty decent list of danmei that aren't as well known and I want to talk about them!! so here we go! these aren't in any particular order btw

Nan Chan

an aloof, listless immortal and a very hungry caterpillar fish demon go on an adventure to retrieve a runaway bell 🔔. and also they both have amnesia. CUE ANGSTY BACKSTORY REVEAL!!!! 🔪🔪🔪

I'm sure it's to no ones surprise that this is first because I'm a SLUT for nan chan. if nan chan has one fan it is ME and if there r no fans I am DEAD!! I love this novel so much it has the perfect combination of painful angst and sweet sweet lovin' !! the main couple's relationship makes me feel so warm and fuzzy inside 🥺👉👈 (probably because I am a touch love language girly and these bitches be touching!!!) and I LOVE the characters sm. especially my little meow meow Jing Lin and his adorable little stone figure. I live for the interactions between Cang Ji and the stone figure! it may be a little difficult to read the first time around since the plot gets a little convoluted but it all makes sense in the end! 10/10 really recommend!!

How to Survive as a Villain

transmigration plot! rich ceo gets transported to a novel as the villain emperor and gets buddy buddy with the novel's MC so he doesn't get killed. ends up buddying too close to the sun and accidentally becomes the leading lady. drama ensues!

this is another favorite of mine!! this one is another good mix of angst and romance and the MC is so funny and likeable. there are also two cute side couples which is always fun! (one of them is f/f so it gets extra brownie points with me🤭) its also not too complicated which makes it great for casual reading ^^ p.s. this one has an official eng tl now! its being published thru rosmei (like nanchan) so it has to be ordered thru a 3rd party distributor but I think its worth reading 👀

Living to Suffer/ Till Death Do Us Part

living to suffer: ancient wuxia style prequel where the characters meet as a humble doctor and member of a demonic sect and their fate intertwines. this one has a BE

till death do us part: early to mid 1900s setting sequel. the reincarnated characters meet again as a elementary school teacher and rich playboy and face the struggles of having a relationship. this one has a bittersweet ending

THIS...... OK THESE NOVELS... let me tell you something. this made me SOB. oh my god especially the ending of TDDUP. I saw a review saying "I honestly could believe there lived a Shen Liangsheng and a Ch'in Ching, and that they fell in love..." and hard agree because something about this story felt so real?? which made it all the more intriguing and heartbreaking!! its set around the time of the japanese invasion of china and the cultural revolution so it does talk a lot about politics but it wasn't a difficult read imo. BUT BE WARNED! there is a LOT of smut. (not rly vanilla either..) and the relationship does get pretty toxic at times 😬 but it gets better by the end of the book and the toxicity actually does add to the story and character development. if u give it a try please read the prequel (living to suffer) first!

After Being Forced to Marry the Evil Star General

a deputy prime minister MC who's powerful, high-maintenance, and hated by the public is arranged to marry a laid-back general who is much loved and praised (but also rumored to be cursed!). this is an arranged marriage + enemies to lovers novel

I'm actually in the middle of rereading this one rn 👀. I think this one is also good for casual reading since it isn't very complicated. in the beginning the interactions between the main couple r rly funny because they just clash all day long lol. its also got a little angst sprinkled in 😎👍 I did see some reviews saying that the MC is not likeable since he does some kinda bad things and he's stuck up but I still liked him idk 😭 I feel like his flaws made him more interesting

Married Thrice to Salted Fish

a doctor MC who only wishes to study medicine (and poison oop) gets arranged to marry a guy whos dying. turns out that guy has been taken over by a transmigrator! transmigrator ML then proceeds to die and come back as someone else.. more than once 😭

if you love a couple that schemes together then this is the novel for you! the MC in this book kinda reminds me of the MC from the book I mentioned right above. (these titles too long man 😅) I found the repeated "reincarnation" plot to be pretty interesting. the interactions between the couple were pretty amusing as well and since the ML is from modern times he randomly uses modern slang. MC even picks some lingo up from him loll

Xiao Jiu

about a 9th prince MC whos trying to win the heart of the emperor's cold and aloof bodyguard! call him the prince of rizz because it works eventually 😎 this is an age gap romance with a smidge of angst and political drama

this a short and sweet story! the ML is described as cold a lot but he actually becomes rly sweet and warm later on so he isn't one of those stone faced characters. I don't have much else to say about this besides "its cute, I like it" 😅

Guanshan Muyu

wife-chasing crematorium story! it's about a outlaw MC who's kidnapped by the very guy who betrayed him. ML wants to win MC's heart back but issues from the past cause a bunch of misunderstandings :( but it is a happy ending!!

man.... I haven't read a wife-chasing crematorium story before this and I was not prepared for the amount of ANGST. basically everyone is miserable for the entire damn time! 😭😭😭 but that's not to say it wasn't a good story!! all the suffering made the ending feel even sweeter 🥰 if you cry easily maybe keep a pack of tissues on hand when you read this 😂

I wrote this in my notes app while reading and I feel like it summarizes the ML pretty well bahaha 👇

"qi yan: my girl is mad at me. I hope I die"

It’s Not Easy Being a Master

transmigrator becomes the villainous shizun in a novel he read and attempts to avoid a bad ending but *gasp* the novels MC (ML) has been reborn with all the past memories!! MC tries to get close to ML while ML is like wtf is going on ! seems like a typical "transmigrated as a villain" type plot until suddenly it's not... 👀👀

this one was rly fun! there's a big plot twist that I found rly interesting and unique! very fresh!! fresh produce!! 🥒🫑🥕🍅 I also like the MC a lot he had a rly silly personality hehe. I think this novel is good for people who like solving mysteries alongside the characters since a lot of hints are dropped throughout

Golden Stage/ Terrace

arranged marriage between a court dog and a general who's become phsyically disabled. everyone knows that the two HATE each other... but do they really? 👀 no, it's not an enemies to lovers, but the other characters seem to think so! 🤭

great novel!! very good!! I love the dynamic between the main couple! they love to banter so their interactions are entertaining. there's a bit of political plot but it's nothing too complicated and the angst is minimal. I also like that one of the main characters is a ambulatory wheelchair user. this one also has a official eng tl now but I'm not sure from which publishing house

Sharing Rain and Dew

MC whos staying in the palace dies a painful death but then gets reborn several months in the past. he spends his time stressing about his impending death but for some reason the Emperor has suddenly become super clingy and doting

this one is very very short, only 5 chapters + 3 extras, but it's quite funny and cute. despite being so short the story is actually pretty interesting? good for a quick, casual read

list over!! I have a few more but this is already too long of a post 😭 I hope someone can find this helpful for some reading recs!

[tolkienbrained]

when i first heard about yoshiden i was like ok cool ship but it doesn't make much sense but THEN i started thinking about it and found and absolute goldmine.

first off, we all know or at least can tell that one of the main overarching themes in chainsaw man is the subversion of common shonen tropes (which fujimoto does wonderfully, mind you) such as "the perverted main character". denji is a subversion of this trope for many reasons which should be discussed in a different post but how wonderful would it be for the sex-crazed women-obsessed character to realize that, oh, maybe women aren't the only option and end up with a guy? i say bisexual denji rights. although to be fair it's true that so far there hasn't been any indication for this in the manga, i don't think denji is at the point where he has realized exactly WHY he's so obsessed with women (cough mommy issues and touch-deprivation).

linking that last point a bit with the Yoshiden Thesis™ we have the fact that a lot of his affection for makima in the first part was most likely linked to this deprivation of love as he grew up and possibly to his lack of a mother figure while he was growing up. and of course makima herself instigated this affection and knowingly manipulated denji. most women denji has known until now have used him, and hurt him in different ways (or just have been older women that shouldn't be messing with a sixteen-year-old anyway). in fact, the ONLY genuinely positive relationship with a woman denji has in part 1 is with power, and it's completely platonic. and it's not only women who have hurt denji, most people in part 1 (with some notable exceptions (aki and power my beloveds)) were not interested in denji, didn't want denji, just cared about chainsaw man and the chainsaw devil. yoshida is someone tasked with protecting DENJI and making sure DENJI gets to live a peaceful, happy life. he has shown a willingness to put up with denji's ridiculousness and has even seemed amused by it. it's too early in part 2 to honestly tell, but we could even say he cares about denji (or possibly will soon since fujimoto needs more characters to break denji's heart even more, fucker).

once again coming back to the "women-obsessed, sex-crazed" part, denji being deprived of affection made him grow up thinking that was the only way to show affection and love, possibly because of how media and society, in general, are very sexualised. a lot of his arc in part 1 was him realizing this isn't true, as shown in his relationship with power and aki. it would be a nice finishing touch to that arc for him to realize that not only are platonic affective relationships possible and just as important/fulfilling as romantic ones, but how romantic relationships also aren't just limited to women and sex by falling in love with yoshida.

of course all of this is talking from a fandom/fanfic standpoint. these are just the reasons why i personally love the ship and consume content on it, and i'm in no way saying "this is definitely going to be canon!!" lol. i went a bit off the rails here but i'm just obsessed with yoshiden rn.

TL;DR yoshiden FUCKS and would go greatly along denji's arc and the themes in chainsaw man.

EDIT: oh my god i just reread this and i mean fucks as in it's very cool not as in they're fucking each other i'm crying LMAO

EDIT2: seeing the recent chapters all of this is most likely going down the drain but i'm still shipping yoshiden idc

[hermitw]

(anime-only friendly post)

I'll have to reread JJK0 to rly have a stance on this but

At this point I feel like Geto did nothing wrong, even if the worm curse was not drugging him like banana fish (explained here).

Geto was misunderstood. He didn't declare that he was planning to kill all non-sorcerers. Gojo said that. Geto called him ignorant for it and walked away for not being listened to. To have a world of sorcerers could take a gradual path by teaching, by finding those like Nanako and Mimiko (one of the guys in their family was in a similar position, I forget his name rn). Geto traveled far for a family of sorcerers and to remove cursed spirits.

I think his parents weren't killed for being non-sorcerers, but for being a part of that cycle of violence toward them. Geto might have given them a second chance, taking the twins to his parents house, when they got violent. We don't know exactly what went down with them.

Gojo continues to have negative rizz (this analysis contains manga spoilers. Tldr, Gojo misunderstands another lover, potentially) so it feels like a pattern to me.

We've often pointed out that Sukuna's love language would be violence, that using his stronger techniques is a sign of respect toward his opponent.

But I'm realizing now, Gojo is the same way - it shows that a partner can keep up with them. We know that Geto and Gojo used to get into fights at school (and Geto even used his curse manipulation technique without notifying the staff first, like he usually would because of the unregistered cursed energy). Geto said fuck the rules, I'm on your level (by your side).

BUT AT THE KFC, Geto didn't pull out a curse. He didn't fight (for) Gojo - not even when he pulled out the hollow purple hand. Geto just told him to choose his own path, there would be meaning in that. That he's no longer by his side. Geto said there would be a point to killing him, but I think it was to follow the order of his execution, to feed into the oppressive system on jujutsu sorcerers. Geto decided to be the one who diverges from the rules of jujutsu society, to decide that some non-sorcerers have so much power that they are as dangerous as curse users, even if they have no cursed techniques.

Geto had come to terms with the separation - they'd been sent on missions alone too often, and he felt left behind by Gojo's growth (along with how different he was since the fight with Toji - they didn't grow closer from that traumatic event, but became distant from there).

I would love to see someone who's fluent in Japanese break down their conversation - to me it reads like Geto is telling Gojo, I have a family now. I have to look after them. And if my parents were just like the group that killed Riko, or the village that beat up and locked kids in a cage for having abilities... Then it's irresponsible of me to let the cycle of hate continue there, just because they are my parents.

Anyway, Geto killed people. He targeted those in power, those with money, those who exploit the weak for their own greed, those who scapegoat innocent children and criminalize sorcerers for the curses' atracks (when the curses are only born from the non-sorcerers in the first place).

First, the village with Nanako and Mimiko.

Then his own parents (which I'm going to assume were the same way, I have my own headcanon that he left his family early for a monastery and then went to jujutsu high but I'm not rly sure what's up).

And the cult - he specifically calls to the stage and kills the man who hired Toji to kill Riko. And had Shiu gather to that meeting the members in positions of power and money.

There's also the deal with Geto calling non-sorcerers monkeys, which carries a gross and racist feeling (at least through a western lense, I've seen so many jokes about him being racist and planning a genocide, but I don't think that's really accurate). We can say that it was sleep learning from Toji. I think it stuck with him for a very simple reason.

Yuki Tsukumo gave Geto an existential crisis by telling him that curses only exist because of non-sorcerers (except for when a sorcerer dies and becomes the curse). Geto knows what curses taste like. Think about going to the zoo - you can smell the monkey area already, can't you? It's very distinct and memorable. It stays with you. The curses that Geto swallows are like that, but even worse. I posted here about the smell lingering in his sinuses and that's why he uses sanitizing spray after seeing Mrs. Sa(i)to and her daughter.

So just like monkeys live and poop and are associated with the stench, non-sorcerers get emotional and leak cursed energy. Others might see and hear curses, and occasionally they might smell (sorry Eiso I know you're insecure about having a musty back but I can't think of another example, maybe this doesn't happen with cursed spirits), but Geto is alone in knowing the taste and making this connection.

Anyway, Geto still clearly believes that the strong should protect the weak, whether they're sorcerers or not, that's what he spends his life doing.

And when he died saying that he still hates those monkeys - hate is different than genocide. He's been basically eating their vomit for the majority of his life. Not to mention the curses that killed his friends.

Ultimately, though, we don't get to see anyone Kenjaku uses as a vessel live their own life except for Geto. And I don't believe that the worm would have been necessary for most victims - but Geto and his best friend were 2 of the strongest sorcerers. Whoever Kenjaku was living as at the time had to be calculating and careful.

I don't know when Toji got the worm, but I think that Kenjaku needed to use it on Toji himself, and not only as a mediator to pass it onto Geto.

Idk much about Toji's life, but it seems like he was healing with his wife, and maybe he was still taking out curse users (though I want to use that term lightly bc ultimately it's the higher ups who decide who is a sorcerer vs a curse user), but I'm not sure he would have gone after Gojo or Geto or the star plasma vessel without the sudden grief or the worm.

Kenjaku likely was the founder of the time vessel association (which makes me laugh when Toji says thank you founder and shiu is like, ugh he is not the founder dumbass), which is from the Nara era. At the least we know that he was trying to destabilize Tengen. He needed someone to kill Riko. He needed Toji to lose his sense of reality, responsibility. (kenjaku was probably either in that group or sending them messages that they believed were like a sign from god)

So i feel more confident now in believing that Kenjaku did cause Megumi's mother's death. It seemed to happen by the time of Gojo and Geto's first year in jujutsu high.

In the end, love wasn't the greatest curse of all. It was the failure to understand Geto -

And Geto decided that he didn't need anyone to understand. He was giving up on Gojo, and on the rules.

It seems like Yuki Tsukumo and Geto kept in touch, judging by the end of the Shibuya incident. I wouldn't be surprised if one of their goals was to teach more people to become sorcerers or at least control their cursed energy, even if they can't see spirits.

Even if Geto were now curse user witn a death sentence, he still used his technique to absorb curses, a way to remove them from non-sorcerer victims without the stress or violence of exorcism (he didn't have to keep swallowing curses, instead of manipulating the ones he already had. But most people don't have resistance to curses, so he prioritized making things easier for the weak).

I imagine that some of these people got hyped about it, asking to learn, and were able to join a class that might focus on breathing techniques, visualization, etc (even if they could just control emotions better, that would help}. Larue's ability would make him a good teacher, and we really don't know what role he would have played otherwise.

[booksandmore]

I’m sorry but CC only has herself to blame for making TMI known as “the incest books” in all of the reading communities outside of TSC fandom.

She herself ruined TMI becoming as big as it could’ve been & TSC in general by putting incest in all 6 books of TMI…That’s why no one posts about it on Booktwt or Booktok..

There’s no point in being upset at readers judging TMI for having incest in it when that’s a valid criticism.. Clace kissed multiple times for three books all while not being officially sure whether or not they were related or not..then CC got petty & doubled down on the incest after being criticized for it already & had Clary kiss her biological brother in book three after people already hated it with Clace in the first two books.

Clary’s brother almost rapes her in book five and tries kissing her in the last book. TSC is not GOT where it gets a pass. Non TSC stans really want a LI calling his girlfriend’s Dad his own Dad 💀 Jace was calling Clary’s brother his brother while being romantically involved with Clary. Just because he was adopted by Valentine as a kid didn’t make it normal for Cassie to have Jace call himself a Morgenstern or to call his girlfriend’s brother his own brother.

TMI hate = CC’s own fault.. any TMI stan bitterness should be directed at her own questionable writing choices. Sorry but seeing TMI stans hating that TMI is judged for this all when it’s the authors own fault is weird yk? It’s been too long, Cassie understands why TMI gets hate. As a TMI stan it makes me upset that she dragged the incest on the entire series because I can’t proudly ever talk about Clace, Seb or TMI as a whole because she got weird with the writing in that series on purpose to spite people who criticized the incest in Books 1-2. It was petty for her to drag on incest for that long knowing people hated it..It’s her fault.

I’m tired of people outside of the fandom being judged for not liking the incest for Clary with two Mmc’s when..it’s valid not to like or be comfortable with. TMI stans always having to make excuses for her too is even sadder bc it’s not our fault or other readers’ it’s the authors fault for putting that in a fun YA series that didn’t need incest AT ALL. That’s probably why the show was a flop and the movie, no one could take the series seriously with that arc for Clary with Jace and her brother Sebastian..

no yes i totally get it!! it is frusterating to see tmi get dismissed but im not gonna force anyone to do anything they dont like. it’s valid to not want to interact with something cause it grosses you out, i’ve definitly done that before as well. we all have our limits and that’s okay!! that said feel free to ignore the rest of this i just wanted to explain my thoughts more thoroughly but it got a bit long😭you might not like anon sorry

first of, i do admit it’s been a while since my reread and also, i haven’t touched the other series since i first read them so i can really only speak for tmi rn, and if i get anything wrong that’s on me

i should probably clarify that my original posts were create because i was just so baffled that people were sayong cc has some kind of incest kink and that’s why she was forcing it into her books. like?? an author choosing to engage with darker taboo topics doesn’t mean they’re into it im pretty sure. its not like i know her personally, but if she had a kink i sort of suspect it would show up in the rest of her books yk? is it really that hard to imagine that she’d include it for a reason?😭

for me, maybe because i’m used to books like the secre t history or older classics, i tend to look past the taboo of it and focus on what it does for the story/reveals about charchterization, if that makes sense?

i think that tmi is very much about family, and sebastian having these fucked up views about family (where he mistakes romantic love for familial love) really goes to show how horrible valentine was as a father, and how terribly he was treated and how desperate he was for love. i think he doesnt know what it means to be loved by family and that’s why he substitutes it with something else. cause i think that deep down inside he does have a normal brotherly love for clary, its just that he doesnt know any other way to show that

for me the incest thing is a plot device and it frusterates me how no one wants to engage with it that way. could it have been done differently? probabaly. but they don’t even try to examining why it’s there at all! they don’t bother analyzing or asking, hey, does the author have any particular reason for putting this here, or writing it the way she did? they just dismiss it as gross and go away. but i really do think it has a purpose and point in the story that gets lost on a lot of people

the thing is, it’s meant to be uncomfortable! it’s meant to be gross! it should weird you out!! i doubt cc meant it to be viewed positively, especially when neither the charchters nor the narrative does. it’s meant to show how badly these adults and this society have fucked up these children, and robbed them of being able to love freely and safely yk?

most of my frusteration really just comes from how puritanical fandom has been. you can choose not to engage with something if it grosses you out, that’s fine and valid and we’ve all done that before. but looking down on someone for wanting to engage with it objectively is??? i think it’s just etiquette to not engage with what you don’t like. block the tag. curate your own experience. that kinda stuff

again anon if you chose to read this anyway i really do respect and understand what you’re saying. i’m really sorry if i came across as mean or rude but like. i really really love tmi and i cannot tolerate it being dismissed like that

[amethystfairy1]

Hi Amethyst! It's been a hot minute since I sent an ask in, but I have been reading both fics every day (still obsessed lmao) (also I name changed btw, used to be ElenaLoo)

Anyways, I had written a whole ask waxing eloquent on all the wonderful things going on in ttsbc, but I accidentally shut off my computer partway through and frankly I can't be bothered to write it all out again lmao. Just. It's beautiful (wow isnt that so meaningful and deep? im sure you're feeling very complimented rn)

The REAL thing I wanted to talk about was Traveling thieves (which is by far my favorite fanfic of ALL TIME), and all the amazingness in ttsbc made me forget it even existed for the past few weeks. But the other day I was just like "oh yeah. Traveling thieves." and then i reread the whole thing. whoopsies.

Ummm anywyas there's so many thoughts in my head about all the little guys, but recently I've been on an Imp and Skizz obsession (just scroll on my page for .2 seconds and you'll see) and YOU. You left them on a CLIFFHANGER. >:((( (not actually mad btw). I just. so excited for them. They're out alone in the woods right now and Skizz is going to have the perfect opportunity to kill Impulse and get away and I just am falling apart thinking about them. (I drew them to cope lol, posted on my blog but also later here so that I can talk about it more). I can see this playing out a few ways. Obviously Skizz isn't actually going to kill Impulse, so he's either going to 1) make up some excuse as to why he can't do it right then, but still plans to do it eventually, or 2) he does it. but he doesn't. Skizz attacks Impulse when he's not expecting it, there's a scuffle, and Skizz comes out on top---BUT THEN HE CAN"T FINISH IT!!! and it's a whole thing where even tho skizz tried to kill him, imp is still so understanding and skizz cries and impulse just freaking gives him a hug and

sigh

Whatever you do will be beautiful, I'm sure. I think you mentioned you're switching to tt after this fic, so crossing my fingers it's imp and skizz. (Though, would also be very happy with Martyn and Ren :P) (or anything really i just love tt)

Anyways, I had the art on my blog but I'm also putting it here so i can say things about it to you

Mostly I'm just very proud of their expressions, with Impulse being all concerned glancing over at Skizz, meanwhile Skizz is completely deadpan staring forwards, also looking very tired bc he needs a break from this universe. Also I switched up my Impulse design a lil bit from last time (if u even remember that lol it was months ago now). you would think, just looking at them, that Impulse took way longer to design, but nope, I was messing around with Skizz for at least double the time, trying to figure out how to have him facing forward whilst still showing some of the scars on his back. I gave up eventually xD (all that means is that im gonna have to draw him again later, from different angles)

actually that made me remember a question I had: are you planning to ship Imp and Skizz? Ik you said Zed and Tango are going to be a thing far in the future, but... skizzpulse? plzzzz plz pretty please haha im not obsessed

aaaaaand that reminds me of another question, is skizz going to be in ttsbc? (pretty please also same question as tt, if he was in ttsbc, are him and impulse together? Im addicted to them all i care about these days is some good imp and skizz shipfics, and you're such a fantastic writer, both with plot and the vibes of the words themselves. u could write such good imp and skizz. just imagine the possibilites! (am i selling it?))

aaaaaanyways. im gonna go reread the old tt skizz fics because theyre delicious and painful, like eating knives. u have a good day :))

HIIIIIII

I ADORE THIS ART SO MUCH! I gave you all my rambles on the reblog but it's SOOOOO COOL!

I'm sad the waxing eloquent about TTSBC is gone 😭 but that's ok!

I'm so glad you're enjoying TT and all the drama going on in there! Imp and Skizz are definitely having a time and a half with all of this nonsense going on...I love all your theories! I won't confirm or deny anything of course, but I'm so happy you're excited for them!

I will not be shipping Imp and Skizz, sorry! I just personally don't ship them, so they're gonna remain platonic...I mean, in TT who knows what the hell they're doing to be fair 😆 but yeah, Zedango is going to be a thing in the distant future, but no Skizzpulse! Sorry!

Skizz is not in TTSBC at the moment, that doesn't mean he never will be! Just haven't found a spot for him yet...and no, he also would not be with Impulse, I'm so sorry I just don't ship them personally! I think it's a very cute ship tho!

Enjoy rereading the TT Skizz fics!!! Thank you again for the gorgeous art!!!! I love it!!! 💖

[isatoru]

ok bro so i don't know how to make this post SDJFHSH and say hi hello i missed everyone without being awkward and facing cricket noises since it's been over a year since i’ve logged in LMFAO and ppl still following r gonna be like ??? but .... ASKDUSDL HELLO!!!!! 🙂‍↕️ to everyone that is still here ... <3

I MISSED YA'LL SM OMG ;---; i hope some of you still remember me so this won’t be too awkward 🙂‍↕️🙏

on that note!!!! i have returned because i have really bad gojo and isagi brainrot since rewatching/rereading jjk + getting into bllk fr this time LMAOO (also getou and rin... among others but currently mostly those!!) I AM ALSO CURRENTLY REWATCHING BNHA TOO AFTER SO SO LONG AND </3 getting back into that fs... shouto is currently hitting and i have not once thought abt him like that lmfaoo

+ i have so many fics i have completed that i want to post !!! i have been cooking in isolation and after much needed self growth and love in writing <3 ;v; (gojo, isagi, and nanami ones mostly lmaoo AND ALSO A SUKUNA SERIES I WANT TO POST) AND IDK WHAT TO POST FIRST LOL

also bro i want to yap about characters and arcs analysis sm lmao... i've gotten into just. writing analysis of stuff i read and get into -- i might even make a separate blog for that since i'm like heavily into berserk (like really bad bro, i willingly sat and wrote essays for fun during finals week just bc of berserk KJSDFH) and souls games too rn LMAOOO (bg3 as well perhaps if anyone is into that too!! i love shadowheart a lot... 500+ hours... and ow <3 1k+ yikes) i mostly just rlly wanna yap about blue lock and jjk and bnha somewhere even if it's to the void on here lmfaooo

also to the mutuals (that remain... <3) please do not be alarmed if u see me in ur notifs reblogging fics for my current faves and yapping in ur tags 🙂‍↔️ like in the next few days LMFAO i have been deprived of reading good fic for soooo long bruh and now im like. I NEED TO READ FOR GOJO AND ISAGI SO BAD…. i missed fic so bad...

would ya'll be chill if i posted writing out of the blue here lmao and changed my username ??... it wouldn't be too awkward ?? 🙂‍↔️ (for the username i will change it in a few days despite my impatience so i give everybody like a chance to get used to me being on their dash so it won't be too alarming LMAOO)

[thefourchimes]

lots of encanto AUs i want to talk about so here you go

so uh, i've been brain rotting and hyperfixating on encanto for a bit now, and its been very fun

tho i've barely talked about some of the ideas and aus i have and want to share, so i guess i want to do that now in a way, so uh... (mirabel voice) lets go lets go

List of AUs here:

Time Travel AU

Big Hero 6 AU

[Redacted] AU (not the au's actual name, hidden for reasons)

Ghost Cocoon AU (fusion idea au i came up with of the cocoon au by @raefever and ghost grandchildren au by @jerseyk112, both found in @gamerbearmira's blog)

Giftless Grandkids AU (idea by anon, also found in @gamerbearmira's blog)

Undertale AU

Gravity Falls AU

P.S. some of these au ideas are not originally mine, but i've contributed to them in some way, and i've credited and tagged the creators

More information of the AUs found below

1. Time Travel AU

first au i've ever thought about, cool hue sisters centered, because i love them sm and i was still finding my footing in encanto and the fandom when i thought of this au, and yeah

its where isabela and luisa get sent back to the past after going after and protecting mirabel as casita falls

i gained the idea after seeing how the two older sisters were still so terrified of alma and disappointing her that they couldn't stand up for mirabel and for themselves, but as casita was falling, they weren't about to let their baby sister go, not after everything

despite this being the first au, its also still really vague and barebones in a sense, not much planned yet and its all just vibes, plus i just really wanted a cool sisters au because i love them sm

2. Big Hero 6 AU

ah yes, big hero 6 au, my beloved

came to be when i figured out bear aka @gamerbearmira's reference in one of her encanto one shots, the scooby doo one where they got arrested, and she used bh6's aunt cass' rant for alma's rant in said one shot, and then it led me to realize the potential of encanto big hero 6 au with bear, so that was fun

there's a post in bear's blog for the au, so you can check it out

there's a bunch more info that we haven't shared yet, but it's all written up in the docs for it, so yesyes

honestly been a bit since i touched the au personally, as i keep getting distracted by the other ones below

but yeah, planning on exploring of this au soon <3

3. [Redacted] AU

ah yes, this au, the 120 and counting pages one in my docs

and the 120 pages are mostly just details and planning for the au, not a single written thing yet

this au is not called redacted au, but the name itself is redacted because the word itself is a bit of a spoiler and im still trying to find a better name for it in general

i have no idea how to explain this au

first thing to mention is how its very much inspired by Take Back the Kingdom by @optimistic-violinist and @impossiblefangirl0632 (sorry for the tag, i can take it out if you'd like) and i really really recommend this fic, its so so good and it changed my brain chemistry on so many levels

so yes, i really got inspired by this fic, and it will very much be shown in this particular au with some things and tropes, but ofc im doing my own spin on stuff and the details, and from what i have rn, i think it really evolved and is still evolving as time goes on

another thing to note about this is how the idea came to be because of TBTK inspiration and a dream i had on the day i was taking a metaphysics midterms exam (this is completely unnecessary to mention but oh well, i still remember that moment so vividly)

the dream impacted just exactly how this au is going to go

what is the dream about? you'll find out whenever i get to write this au

all i can say without spoiling much is that there are lots of memory shenanigans and angst, plus the very fun trope of "your found family is your actual family"

also once more, read take back the kingdom, very good fic, 11/10, much recommend, will reread again

4. Ghost Cocoon AU

this au is the fusion of the Cocoon au and the Ghost Grandkids au, both still found in @/gamerbearmira's blog

ghost grandkids au is from @jerseyk112 and cocoon au is from @raefever, and ofc bear has a lot of ideas and thoughts for these aus in her blog

i was rereading bear's cocooned fic for the 17123723507 time and while i was at it, i remembered the ghost grandchildren au, so i decided it would be pretty fun to fuse the two aus together in some way

and so i did (first ask, second ask)

basic premise of this au is really just the ghost kids' healing and them protecting their younger selves and their family

this fusion au interested me so much that it got to the point where i actually wrote a 3683 word first chapter of sorts(?) for this fusion au already (bear has seen it but i havent posted it at all)

planning on continuing it when i feel like it tho hehe

so yes its been wild with this one

5. Giftless Grandkids AU

giftless grandkids au, my beloved

just as the name says, au where all the grandkids are giftless

all i can say is everything and nothing changes all at the same time with this

this au was sent and suggested by an anon in bear's blog

this is also the one where bear and i went wild on for the past few days

pretty sure bear is gonna be writing this au, if im not mistaken? so its very exciting

there's a lot in store for this au and it'll be fun

6. Undertale AU

undertale au yesyes

not the type where the characters are these characters tho

this idea is where we'll be throwing the grandkids into the underground for an adventure of a lifetime!

so basically characters of one media meet characters of the other media type

and the kids are gonna be going through the plot of undertale, technically in frisk's shoes here

this au is still very vibes and not much planned, there's lots of potential to play around tho, so im thinking of exploring this at some point soon

7. Gravity Falls AU

gravity falls au this time!!

now this au is the one pure vibes one, absolutely zero planning or thoughts, just vibes and aspirations for it

not even sure if it'll be like the undertale au where characters of one media will meet characters of the other media or if it'll be characters from this media are gonna be these characters of that media in this au

i just thought it would be fun to have an encanto gravity falls au idea, but still dont know where it'll be going in general

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

So that's about it, there's actually a few more ideas i havent mentioned yet, but let's just say these ideas are exactly like the gravity falls au vibing no planning, except much worse in a sense, so i have no idea what kind of footing there will be at all with those aus

but anyway, i digress, these are some of the ideas and aus i have and would love to share and write and uh, yeah

if you have any questions on these aus, feel free to ask if ever, my asks are open (this is the first time im saying this in a post omg help)

but anyway yes the brainrot and hyperfixation is real

if you got here to the end, congrats have a pic of my dog for your effort and dedication <333 see you around <3

[aro-screams-into-the-void]

Ouggth wait wait. I am Thinking. More TCF x EPIC the musical crossoverss.

Scylla for the Ghost operation when Hais island was destroyed and the ships were all taken out. (That is when that happened right? It's been a minute since I reread part 1-)

Thunder Bringer. Can't decide if it'd be better with Cale as Zeus or the White Star as Zeus. The real question is who's Ody and who's Euryluchus. Oooo or the lich that Roslyn fought (I can't remember his name 😭)

I need Suffering but with the sirens as LSH and CJS. WAIT SUFFERING BUT WITH DERUTH AND JOUR.

Different Beasts....I feel like it could fit almost anyone in Cale's group? Or in KRS' team.

The Underworld and No Longer You would be sooooo good. The gang gets trapped in some sort of illusion (or actually go to the underworld somehow) and see the Harris Villagers, the Molan clan, Alberu's mom, LSH and CJS, etc etc. OH WAIT WAIT the prophet could be The World Tree! As for the lyrics (I know they're referring to the future but let's say they'd refer to the last in this case):

A song of past romance: Deruth/Jour, Alberu mom's/Zed, KRS' parents, Ron/his wife

Sacrifice of man: literally anything with Cale

Portrayals of betrayal:...? I can't think of anyone in the main group being betrayed rn (the white star and sheritt?)

A brother's final stand: LSH and CJS

See you on the brink of death: again anything with Cale

Draw your final breath: hmmm, maybe the end of the Wind Island test? Or Calebab

Man who gets to make it out alive: Cale

But it's no longer you: again Cale since he used to be KRS. Or maybe OG!Cale now that he is KRS

[karouvas]

Pleas elaborate on that challengers au??? Obsessed rn

So I’m going to properly get to working on this once the next chapter of “Reading TRB” is up and once I can rewatch the movie to develop the ideas more but I’ll just type up some of my brainstorming / thoughts and post it here rn!

— basically a Challengers au where Gansey is Art, Blue is Tashi and Adam is Patrick. Was discussing with a few other people and I think Adam could also potentially be a Tashi but that fits more for a Rodansey au which would also slap if someone wants to write it but I’m going for the Bluedansey version because I was in major brain rot over them over my last reread. 

— so the set up of Gansey and Adam meeting in high school is similar just without the other chars as factors (Ronan might still show up in the fic but if he does it’ll be the timeline where they’re older he won’t have known them in high school). With Gansey still the rich golden boy and Adam as the scholarship student and them having an unlikely really close and intense friendship.

— I’ll actually have tennis be something Adam picked up for kind of mercenary reasons he needed an elective + he wanted to spend time with Gansey kind of in the way he goes along with the Glendower quest for Gansey. But then it was noticed that he’s really good at it and Adam would capitalize on that and use it as a way he can get out of Henrietta even if at first he thought that would be through his book smarts. He does also grow to love tennis but isn’t fully cognizant of that the way he struggles to understand love in the series (his relationship with tennis follows a similar path to his relationship to magic in the books basically, arc wise). 

— Even though I know it is canon in the books that he’s Captain of the rowing team I have the hardest time jockifying Gansey in my mind because suuuuch a fucking neerd (affectionate) I’ll keep some of his nerdy interests obv but trying to redirect my perception of him overall for this. Taking a bit of inspiration from my friend Kevin Day for this re: balancing the jock-nerd. But I think playing sports professionally to him is partially going to be his escape from being just like his father / living the life his family wants for him, while also being more passably acceptable in the eyes of his family than some other things he could pursue, as well as being something he genuinely loves. 

— enter Blue she meets them at a tournament beginning of college like in the movie, she  comes from a small town like Adam but will change it to her being from a different state still in the south. I am keeping her background of being raised by the psychics of 300 fox way and Maura will be an active character in the later part of the fic/movie, but for her tennis is her something more in a sense and when she finds that she doesn’t want to give it up. But at same time she’s sensible as much as she has big dreams, so she still wants to go to school and have other skills besides going pro also I think getting into tennis would have in some ways accentuated the bullying/judgement she got from her peers in high school, and then once she proved herself to be good there also would have been elevated respect but I think that effects her whole superiority-inferiority thing, it doesn’t change her general mo with new people and she’s still quite isolated and lonely (more so than in canon since she didn’t meet the Gangsey in hs), but I think a bit more.. actively trying to be seen as socially acceptable with specifically professional situations. I also kind of want a plot point to have to do with how her style changed when she got into tennis and navigating expectations of her style related to her profession, which will be interesting for continuing the pursuit of looking on the outside as you are on the inside theme from the books. 

—Oh and even though the 300 fox ladies are still psychics there’s no kiss curse involved so I do think this version of Blue has had a couple boyfriends and a girlfriend, none of them were serious relationships because her priority was tennis and she’s a prickly babe but I do think this could change her relationships with the boys in interesting ways, especially Blue x Adam tbh because so much of how it plays out in canon is influenced by it being both their first relationship… 

— I do think that it’ll be better for me and my writing process to write this chronologically rather than bouncing between the timelines the way the movie does, and I’m definitely going to use all three perspectives so we’ll see what feels right at different times but I think I’m going to start with Adam pov, the first switch to Gansey pov will be in the breakfast Tashi-Art scene (which is a super tdt era Bluesey coded scene imo but anyway), Blue’s injury is from her pov and maybe some going back and forth between her and Gansey’s povs for a bit in the middle, then I want to weight the second timeline to mostly Blue pov and some Adam I’ll see if another Gansey pov fits in there or not. But obviously will play it by ear this is just what I’m thinking rn.

— for the relationship dynamics: when it comes to the college years the dynamic structures are already pretty similar imo which is a big part of why I wanted to write it particularly the dynamic circa the Dream thieves of Gansey going back and forth between Blue and Adam’s sides of the relationship drama then getting with Blue when both their relationships with Adam implode is … I don’t actually need to change much there. I do think I’ll tweak the story of Patrick teaching Art how to jerk off so the gist is the same but it fits into the early trc dynamics of Gansey trying to wingman for Adam and give him advice about girls and at one such occasion there was a practice kiss, and then maybe also a practice handjob. Like I said some Art/Tashi scenes like the “he’s not in love with you who wouldn’t be in love with you” scene give Bluesey to me already and there’s a general patheticness (affectionate) to Art/Gansey that’s similar. I do need to think more about how to shift their dynamic for the adult Art/Tashi stuff since that’ll be more challenging I think… and Tashi/Patrick scenes kind of rely on them both being prickly and argumentative in a way that very much fits the energy of Bluedam’s multiple iconique fight scenes I’m especially going to have fun paralleling the Tashi/Patrick car convo (feels like I can get significance out of Gansey being the one associated with his car and inclined to having romantic moments in them) with the Bluedam ninos fight. 

So, there are some bullet points I have other thoughts obviously but this is already quite long so if your curious about something else specific feel free to ask (also in general re: that poll am open to questions about my ideas for those aus. or about my in progress fic, or whatever)

[memberment]

Genesis Updates For Todayyyy

Good morning everyone. Not really though I've been up since 11. Crazy, right? ANYWAYS. I'm barreling through 19 and the haunting realization that I need filler so Tweek doesn't suck is slowly dawning upon me.

Updates will pull up later after I go to iHOP because that's all Americans do. We lie and be menaces online and go to iHOP. Anyways. Enjoy the art I made on the bus while going to my doctors appointment to combat all the iHop I eat.

(yes I figured out how to properly use the eraser tool and I am going at it)

But also can I get some input here I kinda wanna change the art style of all the stuff I have so far to fit this kinda vibe but IDK how to implement it because color is SO important to the fic and I want the beginning stuff to look cute. Like I need a visible difference between the characters at the beginning versus them at the end. If anyone has any ideas please enlighten me bc I would LOVE to make these changes while I only have like five things done and not when I have like 30. Much love.

I lied I'm not going to iHOP it just started storming like crazy. SO ENJOY UR UPDATES <3

6:24: We are now 62.8k deep and chapter nineteen is done. On my way to twenty!!! (Things are getting interesting.)

Another one bites the dust ig

9:57 Me writing creek like I'm not about to kill them in six chapters is fucking insane LMFAO

12:35 I keep getting distracted but guys I feel so fucking bad for Craig rn LMAO

1:12: Craig has gone crazy and I have too because I'm playing with CSS instead of writing.

3:53 STOP I'm rereading because my chapters grow slightly shorter and I will not let that slide and there are things that need to be implemented but reading this without warning actually just made me wheeze LIKE WHO DO I THINK I AM LMFAOOOO

okay happy 7am I am closing this doc with 66.1k and chapter 20 is pretty much done GOODNIGHT.

[shadowuserannie]

KOTLC Miraculous AU (pt. 2)

Did not expect the people saying they would actually read it;

So fun fact, it's been a hot minute since I last reread KOTLC (well aware the graphic novel doesn't Really Really count). So now I'm making a list of Fitz character flaws that I want to use my narrative to punish him for, so that he can grow, in my AU.

Because Fitz isn't just the angry golden boy. He's someone who doesn't realize all this privilege is a privilege. The Vackers may fight for 'good' but they still largely benefited from the KOTLC system. Playing back into why Plagg is a good match for him-in canon, both Adrien and Keefe don't care about the status that being Mari/Sophie's boyfriend comes with. But Fitz does.

So Detruire is flirty towards Ladybug. Because who better to impress and benefit his status than the superheroine of Paris?

Then the attraction stops being superfluous. He gets a vibe check-from LB or Plagg, maybe both. Plagg has had too many holders to count, and too many who were angry but angry because of their low status in life because of where they were born/born into poverty. Fitz is angry because of his pressure and lack of freedom (in this AU)-which while is equally valid, means that Plagg will be able to vibe check Fitz's privilege. Will be able to question him, call him out, get him to realize the superfluous reasons why he chases Ladybug.

So that he falls in love with Sophie. The clumsy, funny, slightly awkward classmate who smiles just a little crooked and tugs on her eyelashes and isn't all-powerful, isn't all-seeing. Just Sophie.

(Not the perfect Ladybug. Not the perfect Moonlark.)

(HAHAHAHAHAHA WATCH ME MANIPULATE THE SQUARE FOR MORE TORTURE)

so yes, YET ANOTHER PLOT LINE IG

(fixing character issues ONE BY ONE)

wait but then see Sophie realize Fitz isn't perfect. She screams in Detruire's face that Ladybug isn't perfect, she's not perfect, it's not possible for anyone to be perfect and chasing such an ideal is stupid. See her realize her own hypocrisy. Let Ladybug watch as Detruire changes, stops flirting and gets more genuinely joking instead. Treating her as a real person and not something to attain. LB watches Detruire change, and she starts to fall for someone who has proven they can. Because Detruire listened, and Detruire is trying, and fuck SHE JUST GOT HIM TO QUIT FLIRTING WITH HER-

(extra torture when I reswap the square yay)

Also before you ask, no this is not going to be some kind of s5 swap. Idk when I'll insert this in, BUT IM DEFINITELY NOT GETTING STAMINA TO EVEN THINK OF THAT RN so it'll likely be earlier in the timeline

Rayni as Lila; I saw this in a reblog, AM ADOPTING!! (thanks @ohmygoly) I dislike extra salt and I like the tentative beginnings of Rayni's canon redemption, so let's see if I'll get there before SM either hits or misses in canon!

(also @tiana4evahh I have Plans with Dex and the Lila thing hahahaha hes one of my favs)

Biana as Kagami; BEFORE I GET SHOT. Remember that canonly badass Della will have to be Emilie Agreste. So while Fitz is homeschooled (and I already have a plot reason worked out why Della agrees) Biana Vacker is sent to multiple boarding schools from a young age. When she returns, she doesn't like Sophie trying to make moves ON !HER BROTHER!! So for a while, Sophie sees her as an enemy. (also that means no Kagami/Adrien will exist in this AT ALL JUST TO CLARIFY UTTERLY)

Biana eventually befriending Sophie despite disliking her at first. Biana seeing her brother's indecision and making HER MOVE. Short Sophie/Biana while Soph tries to get over her current thing for Detruire. Biana TELLING HER OWN BROTHER NOT TO HESITATE IM TAKING LUKANETTE AND MAKING IT KAGAMINETTE I DO WHAT I WANT

Btw yk how in canon Mari and Adrien don't question their powers? Sophie and Fitz are too nosy not to HAHA AND THEY START HUNTING DOWN THIS AU'S MASTER FU ALONG WITH HAWKY

Also side note that's kinda irrelevant; When Tam and Linh eventually come in when I finally figure out how to include them, assume they are either already adopted by Tiergan (this will be indicated by their last names being Alenefar and them being proudly introduced as such) or have yet to be adopted by Tiergan and thus the plotline will come later (not introducing themselves with last names)

(@tiana4evahh okay fine I won't scrap this, but I will likely make changes if I ever write in full ao3 fanfic form and not just bullet-pointed)

And finally! While I am taking suggestions for this AU, I'm not going to do stuff because one character in KOTLC matches one in MLB perfectly. That'd be boring. I put characters in slightly unexpected roles because I think the angle would be fun to explore and wouldn't be the same role, same character, same lines. This is adapting MLB's story and adapting KOTLC's characters. I'm not looking to make perfect comparisons and copies (hence my reasoning why Keefe is not the Chat Noir/love interest in pt 1) I'm trying to make a new story where everything is not a repeat of just one of the stories it's adapted from. Not just a copy of MLB but with different names. So please do not expect as such.

Go ahead and rag on me for repeating this too much, but I've always preferred story value and not surface comparisons, which is why I am trying to make this completely clear. I'm not going to make one KOTLC character be the exact same role they had in KOTLC. This is why I am exploring the temporary Sophie/Biana. If you tell me the roles don't perfectly match, then okay! Go create your own AU! (this is not sarcastic) I just don't want getting comments on the whole [but it's not the same thing] because it's not MEANT to be an exact match, and again, sorry for being repetitive. I may include this on all posts of this AU until I finally start writing and fire spoilers.

[jello-fello]

i've STILL been studying writing and the overall craft of What Makes A Good Story and ngl i'm so in love with it that for the first time in my life im like "oh but what if i DID go to college (for english) but as of rn i shant

HOWEVER

now im rereading some old work from age 12 all the way until regenerate fate and im like god i have so many problems with my writing i SUCK. but then i recall how many of you kind folks have complimented my writing and stuff and im like oh no it's not that i'm Bad its just that now that i've learned how i could have been Better its so blaringly obvious in everything im reading lol.

again, for example, WHY DO I NEVER DESCRIBE ANYTHING? im all dialogue and action like im a yapper fr. so im having fun learning stuff like setting description and how to build a Vibe

that being said. the setting for the book is 2012ish seattle in autumn. and i am learning how to PROPERLY use pinterest for the first time in my life in order to Secure the Aesthetics and i'm having like. fun. planning my novel. i

i've always been very vocal about just sitting down and writing 10 pages without Any prior planning and just Pants'ing it. however. i am using a trial of scrivener and Meticulously Planning everything that i am so so so obsessed with this. like i feel like that one Its Always Sunny meme of charlie w the board in the best way

anyways, i'm going to be very hyped abt this for a while i think it's my current passion project since i can no longer draw or really do any phsysical hobby (which has also led to my lifelong realization that i'd like to be a writer specifically, and that it's always been my biggest strongsuit in school and i somehow never realized it. writing still hurts but it hurts the least so whateva).

the story has changed a lot since i last posted about it but it's still a slasher / thriller / Is It Supernatural or Is It Psychological kinda story

[spacexseven]

hi tuna hi hi 👋 I gotta quick one for ya. I was staring at one of dazais mayoi cards, the one where elise gives him a little stuffed bunny (can't send pictures over anon unfortunately but its called lamplit winter if you wanna look it up), and then i reread ur softzai piece and it made me brainrot really really bad so imagine. giving yan dazai a little stuffed animal...

like, look, I feel like dazai, even the crueller versions of him like subordinate darling dazai, is something of a sentimentalist. everything and anything darling gives him is a present and he wants to take good care of it. like, even something as innocuous as a pencil you dropped is something hell keep in a little shoebox beneath his bed. its all part of his delusion, his secret hopeless romanticism. touching (or heaven forbid, breaking) something he got from darling is enough to get people sent to the hospital, or even killed. so imagine ACTUALLY giving him a gift of some kind. youre at the arcade, you win a little stuffed animal, you give it to dazai cuz you have no use for it. you dont really think much of it, really, but HE sure does. mafia/subordinate darling dazai would be a special case. hed probably pretend he doesnt care for the toy at first, both to you and to himself (especially since subordinate darling would probably give it to him sarcastically), but he doesnt have it in him to get rid of it. hes always had a bit of a soft spot for cute things.... and the cramped storage compartment he lives in is so dreary...... no, nevermind that, he'll just. throw it over in the corner. whatever. no need to even go through the effort of disposing of it, thats how little he cares!

of course, he finds his eyes drifting to it more often than not, thinks about what you giving him something like that might Mean, etc. he still refuses to admit he appreciates it, or you, but then maybe one night... he finds himself having another nightmare... and as he sits there, cold, lonely, distressed... his eyes catch the little stuffed toy you gave him. before he can really think about it, he grabs it and drags it into bed with him. he was never given things like this, as a child, so holding it feels... nice. comforting in a way he hasn't experienced. it even still smells just like you; and if he closes his eyes, he can PRETEND its you... he can imagine himself holding you tightly, burying his nose in your hair, laying on your chest and listening to your heart... his little fantasies get him back to sleep very quickly, and it becomes routine. sometimes, if hes particularly lonely or the delusion has completely overtaken him for the day, he'll even talk to the toy like its you. I could also imagine this leading to him stealing some clothes from you, once your scent starts to be replaced with his own on the toy, nothing you'll miss, just a shirt or two he can use to supplement your presence while he sleeps!

I'll cut myself off here cuz I am going NUTSO but yeah. thats where my head is at rn <33

- 🩹

im so sorry for how long it took me to get to this omg these weeks have been hectic :( i dont know if i uslaly write dazai this gloomy but i like it

dazai treasures anything you give him leave behind, but instead of dedicating a corner of his room to your items and presence, dazai likes to spread things out in his place like how you might leave it if the two of you were together. he leaves a used tube of chapstick in the drawer beside his bandages, he places a half-empty tube of toothpaste beside his own in the bathroom (making a note to buy the same one as you from now on so it feels more real, this fantasy), he keeps your shirts stacked up beside his, trying to make it feel natural. somehow, the possibility of you living with him seems so far-fetched so instead, he turns to building the future he'd like with your missing items, playing into his little fantasy. of course, the obvious lack of furniture in his room is inadequate for you, too miserable to be called a house, unlike your own apartment with the wallpaper and the trinkets you have placed everywhere.

if anyone messes with anything lying around (unlikely, since nobody really visits him anyway), dazai would fly into a rage. every item has been meticulously placed in its appropriate place, and slightly nudging it away or putting it elsewhere would cause the fragile facade to crumble and demolish the delicate atmosphere. when he gets back at night, he makes sure to check that everything is in its place—the chapstick he so desperately wants to use (a pathetic attempt at getting close to you) but doesn't want to taint with his touch, the shirts he cradles so delicately, pretending you were there, when the loneliness feels more crushing than usual and he can't bear to accept his reality.

if you happened to give him anything, regardless of the reason, dazai would be over the moon. sure, when you casually ask him if he wants the stuffed toy you won, he scoffs and pretends like he's not interested, but ultimately takes it anyway. its soft texture and blank eyes don't mean much to him as it is, but knowing you were just holding it in your arms, experimentally squeezing it a few times before telling dazai you couldn't keep it, makes the toy the most valuable thing in the world for dazai. no matter how out of place the cute, round thing looked in his bandaged arms, surrounded by his coat, dazai found himself holding it tighter. with this, he can fool himself into believing this was a date and not just a detour from your usual work. he can lie to himself and think that you wanted to impress him by winning the toy, no matter how far it was from the truth.

the toy is painfully out of place in his dark room, not really looking right on the dresser or inside the closet. so he throws it onto his bed instead, thinking about how desolate it looked still. he doesn't think much of it until he goes to rest, observing the round toy sitting beside him. outside, the sky rumbled, and he felt his hand squeeze the soft belly of the toy. despite himself, he found himself smiling a little. it was sort of cute, with the blank eyes and stuffing. he'd never had something like this, and now that he did, he didn't know what to do with it.

while he was thinking about it, he realized the toy might have your scent, seeing as it was held by you for a while first. awkwardly, his arms wrapped around it and he pulled it closer, feeling like a child who had just received his first toy. it was soft; lacking the warmth humans had, but he wasn't about to be picky when this was already something he never had.

for a minute, he thought back to that pleased expression you had when squeezing the round stuffed toy in your arms, and he thinks you'd like to have it when you moved in. with his eyes closed, it's easier to pretend the inanimate object is more human and more loving. it's easy to imagine it was you in his arms, asleep, except for the lack of warmth.

dazai sighs and his eyes open, still holding the toy. it was nice while it lasted.