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#single word because its stupid you're even making him do that
skunkes · 5 months
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can't fool him
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sttm99 · 7 months
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Bakugo falling for a 'popular' girl.
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Sometimes Bakugo felt stupid for falling for you. Not that there was anything wrong with you, or that you weren't up to standard. Quite the opposite. Quite frankly, you were out of his league.
You were one of those crazy pretty Management Course girls that had boys and even girls falling at your feet. You were so used to being hit on and flirted with, it was like you were desensitised to it.
He'd held open the cafeteria doors for you one afternoon, much to the amazement of his friends. They gawked as he stood near the door, holding it open for you and one of your friends, and instead of receiving some blushy words of appreciation, you just muttered a dismissive thanks and walked through without sparing him a glance.
He stood there for the next few minutes, fists clenched by his side, head turned down with wide eyes and red cheeks, whilst Kirishima, Kaminari and Sero guffawed.
Then he looked back up in your direction, and watched as some random boy literally ran over to pull out your seat for you, and another had even gone to get your food tray so you wouldn't have to.
He paused.
Was that what he was competing with?
How would you ever notice him if every other boy in school practically worshipped the ground you walked on?
He began brainstorming, with the help of Kaminari, because he was considered to be the more romantic one of his friends.
"You just keep proving why I was right to call you Dunce Face!" Bakugo yelled at his blonde friend, cursing at and dismissing every single idea he'd been given.
"I think Kami's actually got some good stuff, Bakugo. You're just picky." Sero defended.
But of course Bakugo was picky. This was you! He'd watched you, studied you, despite how creepy that sounded. He knew the things you'd scoff at and scorn, and he knew the things you wouldn't even bat an eyelash at.
"You're all idiots!" He yelled at them and stalked over to his room, slamming his door shut behind him and pacing the space.
It was later that evening, that Kirishima had pulled him aside and told him to just be forward with you.
"Just go talk to her. Like, actually talk. Not opening the door, or pulling out her chair and expecting her to fall at your feet. It doesn't work that way."
Bakugo contemplated it, turned the idea over and over in his head. He nodded at Kirishima's words, deciding that would be what he would do.
He wasn't some blushy boy that couldn't get any words out once in your presence, and he wasn't some entitled brat that thought he deserved your favour for doing the bare minimum.
He was better than all those idiots. And he'd show that.
The next day at school, he caught you on your way to lunch, stopping you and asking for your time.
"Sorry," you began, your pretty, fake smile making its way to your lips as you looked at him. "But I'm really in a hurry right now. Maybe later?" You said softly.
He knew that wasn't true. It was a tactic you used, the same sequence of words you gave all the boys so as to avoid stupid confessions like his.
But he was better than them.... he'd show you.
"Please," he said, resisting the urge to bite at his lips at how uncharacteristic of him this was. "I just- I want to ask you something."
You sighed softly, looking at the girls by your side and urging them to walk forward. They did, but not before offering Bakugo sympathetic smiles, as though they knew you'd reject him, as though they knew he'd come out of the conversation with a broken heart.
"What is it?" You said to him, one hand on your hip and your weight on one leg. "I really don't want to miss lun-"
"One date." He blurted out quickly, wanting to go through with it before any nerves caught up with him. He wasn't used to this; asking girls out, flirting, courting. He'd never participated in the stupid, juvenile acts of romance with his peers, when everyone was just realising that the opposite sex wasn't all that disgusting.
He didn't know how to do this, but he wanted you, badly.
"A date, huh?" You said with a slight smirk, pushing away the strands of hair that had fallen over your forehead.
You could admit the blonde haired boy standing before you was attractive, very much so; with wide shoulders and bulky arms, and a sharp jaw and intense red eyes.
That, and he was Katsuki Bakugo. A student notorious for his refusal to indulge in romance with his peers, considering himself above it, and finding the whole ordeal to be a distraction from his goals. That driven, obtuse boy was standing here asking you for a date.
It swelled your ego just a bit.
He nodded. "One date. I-"
"You do realise that you asking me for a date doesn't exactly make you stand out from all the other boys." You cut him off with bored eyes.
He almost gapes at you.
"They all do this, ask me out cause they think they're better, or different from the ones that hold the door and pull out my chair. I reject them. All of them. Why shouldn't I reject you, Bakugo?" You ask.
He steels his resolve, taking a step to you, almost dwarfing you in his height and mass. He's big, and he knows it.
"You know my name. Do you know the names of those shitty idiots that drool over you?" He raised a brow.
You scoffed. "Even if-"
"You should know that I'm never one to play games. I don't believe in wasting my time. I want to spend it with you..., because I like you. Even if I don't know you all that much, Yn. One date. Let me prove it. That I'm worth it."
You stayed silent for a moment, a little smile tilting your lips upwards. "A restaurant date... cause you're making me late for lunch. So the good stuff will be gone."
He chuckled softly, the sound rich and throaty. "I'll give you anything you want, Yn."
You smiled at that. "Really?" You teased.
He took another step to you. You could smell his cologne now, could see some of the little blemishes on his pale skin.
"I'll give you everything. Whatever you desire."
You nodded smugly. "I like that. Good."
"So...?"
"When's the day?" You smiled up at him coyly.
"Saturday. I'll pick you up at 8?"
You nodded. "Alright then. See you Saturday, Bakugo." You offered him a small wave as you walked past him, making your way into the cafeteria.
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sallowsswan · 20 days
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Not A Gentle Lover
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Tom Riddle x Fem!Reader
Warnings: Smut, pure smut, rough sex, p in v, fingering, praising
Summary: Tom pulls you away from what you're doing to have his fill of you...again.
Soo this is my first time trying to write smut, it's not the best and my punctuation is probably messy but I'm still posting this anyway~ Minors DNI 18+ (hides away in shame)
Tom Riddle was not a gentle lover.
He was possessive, obsessed even, when it came to how good your fucking cunt felt when he was buried so deep inside of it. This was the fourth time this week the head boy had sought you out, always without a single sentence uttered. Just those dark eyes boring into yours as he grabbed you by the wrist and pulled you away from whatever it was you were doing. You followed behind wordlessly, trying to keep up with his pace as he nearly dragged you to his private chambers.
Once the doors were locked his hand had already snaked its way up inside of your skirt, sliding one finger inside your folds while his thumb plays with your clit. Hissing at how wet you are from just the mere touch he’s burying his head into your neck as he’s pushing you backwards, both of you stumbling until you fall back against the mattress of his bed and he’s towering over you. He slides a second finger inside of your cunt making your back arch up as he begins to pump his fingers in you. The way your walls squeeze around his fingers is maddening, how can something like this feel so damn good? He shows no mercy to your clit, rubbing it till the point he knows you're overstimulated. Your whines turn into cries as tears prick at the corner of your eyes threatening to spill over, until your hips buck against his hand begging for release. But Tom Riddle wasn’t a gentle lover
Instead of giving you your orgasm, he rips it away, leaving you nearly sobbing as he pulls his fingers out and shoves them into your mouth, and you hopelessly suck on them as he’s using his other hand to unbuckle his belt and get his pants down. The way he moves is like a man starved, so desperate and in need. When he’s free from his restraints he’s leaning over you as he pulls his fingers out from your mouth. His hand pulls your skirt up until it’s resting over your hips. There’s no foreplay, no easing into it, he unceremoniously shoves his cock deep inside of your cunt and growls at the sensation of you taking him in. He moves his head burying it into the side of your neck as his hands move down to your thighs gripping them tightly as he spreads you open more. “Good Girl.” Two little words, yet they can carry the pleasure of the entire world in them with how he says them when he’s with you. This was his way of praising you. You were such a good girl for taking his cock in the way you did. Such a good girl for letting him fuck you stupid, and such a good girl for never pushing back with him. Tom Riddle was not a gentle lover, this man was the definition of rough. His hand found its way to your throat as he began to mercilessly thrust himself deep within your cunt, not stopping when you whine or whimper because he knows his good girl can take it. 
And boy do you ever.
You’re left writhing beneath him, hands fisted into the sheets as words escape your head and all that comes out of your pretty little mouth are cries of pleasure mixed with pain. Tom has the skill to fuck you so hard that you’re left sore and wanting more. You already know tomorrow is going to be a rough day for you from the grip he’s got on your thigh and the way it’s making its way slowly toward your hip. With each thrust his hips seem to find more prowess, more power as he rails into you with such an intensity it makes the bed beneath you two shake. He’s growling against your neck, the sensation of his lips vibrating against your skin drives you mad as you can barely make out what he’s saying…is that parsletongue? You wonder if in his state he’s trying to summon the basilisk in the chamber of secrets, or if he’s merely trying to will his own basilisk deep inside of you to stay strong long enough until he’s had his fill.
It was the latter.
Tom proceeds to fuck you like this for hours, in that time the rest of your clothes find their way strewn across his room and with every orgasm he gives you he fucks you right through it. This man is like a tom cat in heat, unable to stop himself until one final grunt escapes him and he cums deep inside of your cunt one last time collapsing onto the sheets beside you. Things stay like that until you both pass out, and when you wake up hours later on your side, and you are sore all over. Your mind is reeling over the events that just happened, you’ve done this with Tom many times now and yet every time you guys finish you end up waking up wondering ‘what have I done?’ ‘Am I just a plaything?’ ‘What does this mean?’
And every time this happens you feel an arm slide underneath your head, and another wraps its way around your waist. Your mind has been so loud that it wakes Tom up hearing the way you’re spiraling inside your head. He presses his body against your back and his lips press against your neck, his touch almost like a feather as he presses a kiss against it making his way up to your ear where you hear his voice rasp out something that shuts your mind off immediately and you relax into him.
“My Good Girl.”
Tom Riddle may not be a gentle lover, but he knows his way to keep you wanting more.
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heyy congrats on 350+ followers (assuming im not too late? haha) i ADORE your hcss omll they make me giggle and kick my feet at 3:00 AM (they also help me sleep at night lol). if its not too much to ask could you do hcs abt Jason Grace x gf!reader in an argument + making up?
✮⋆˙ we do not go to bed angry in this house; jason grace argument blurb
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content: jason x fem! reader argument blurb warning: fighting but resolved with fluff author's note: see im not the only one who wants jason angst but this one ends happy, trust!! i love love the aesthetics for this one but the fight is weak but the child of divorce in me would rather die than write a different kind of fight, ya know???
"ha! that's a joke, right? please, you're not that stupid, jason," you hissed at the boy, slamming the door shut behind you as you guys walked into your shared apartment. you guys had thought it would be fun to go out with friends, hang out and play some pool. all good, right? yeah, it was fine, until this girl just walked up to jason, dragging him away and chatting him up for the whole night. and despite you trying to free him from her grasp, he stayed, even shooing you away at certain points. so, yeah, you were a tad bit mad. okay, you were pissed.
"y/n, i don't understand what the big deal is! we were just talking and you could see me the whole night!" jason insisted, tugging his jacket off and throwing it onto the couch with a sigh. you'd been having the same fight the whole ride home and he was just done talking about it.
"the big deal is that you allowed her to occupy your space! hell, you even wanted her around. jason, do you really not see how that looks to me?" you asked, your chest nearly heaving as you begged him to understand. jason just turned his back, his hands gripping the kitchen counter.
"i wouldn't do that," he hissed out and you squeezed your eyes shut, holding in a sigh. you knew cheating was a sore spot for him, what with his dad and all.
"that's not-"
"it is, though. why else would you care? you know i wouldn't do that, of all things."
"jason, just listen-"
"y/n, i can't when you-"
"jason, that's not fair-"
"we're done for tonight. im sleeping on the couch," jason boomed, slapping a hand against the counter. silence fell over the apartment for the first time since you entered. jason turned to look at you but you put your back to him, a clear sign that you were on the verge of crying.
"i'm sorry i raised my voice," he whispered, taking a hesitant step towards you but you just moved further away.
"go get your clothes so i can go to bed, grace," you muttered, refusing to look at him. you heard a small sigh leave jason's nose before he walked into your shared bedroom - except for, tonight, i'd be your room.
jason took up post on the couch but everything felt wrong. no matter what way he twisted and turned and fluffed his pillow and adjusted his blanket, sleep continued to allude him. he flopped onto his back and stared up at the roof, wishing he'd just heard you out. just let you explain it all and so he could understand and fix all of this. becuase he was quickly realizing the reason he was struggling to sleep was because he missed you. even the things he'd typically complain about; your breathing in his ear, the confusion of your legs tangled up with his, the way you were always freezing in bed. and he was missing it.
and then he heard the bedroom door creak open, causing him to tilt his head to see better. you, utterly exhausted, slumped out of the bedroom dragging a blanket behind you. without exchanging a single word, jason opened his arms wide and you plopped down straight into them. he held onto you tight, ensuring you wouldn't fall during the night. you snuggled into the crook of his neck, hesitantly pressing a sleepy kiss there.
"couldn't sleep," you whispered against his skin before taking a small pause, "...without you."
"same," jason murmured back, his eyes turning droopy now that he had you in his arms, "...im sorry, really. i just...i wasn't thinking about how it looked to you. you know you're the only girl ill ever have eyes for, right?"
"i do, which is why i don't understand why i get so mad. and it's not because im scared you'll...ya know. just the thought of you maybe leaving makes me sick, like maybe you'll find someone better or-"
"no. never."
"my sweet boy," you whispered and jason could feel the twitch of your lips against his neck, "let's sleep, yeah?"
"finally can with you here."
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hanrinz · 10 months
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✩ ‧ ₊˚ TO LOVE AND TO HOLD — MICHAEL KAISER
wherein your boyfriend is terrible at pick-up lines, but it's okay he's cute anyway.
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your boyfriend of four years, michael kaiser is terrible with a lot of things. namely, with his incapability of cooking meals, his terrible sense of time—if not for you maybe he won't even come to some grand events his team holds in time.
but this main habit of your boyfriend that just takes the prize, is him making awful pick-up lines.
may it be a line he saw from a rom-com movie or he's seen on the internet, he'll make it a mission to use it on you every single time.
what makes it worse, is that he doesn't even say it right.
your boyfriend is a lot of things, but using a good pick-up line is not one of them. your boyfriend is idiotically cute and sometimes a jerk.
it baffles your friends how you ended up with such a man like michael kaiser. maybe, it was his dumb jokes or his stupid face, you'll never know.
love is blind they said, maybe it's true for you.
on a cold afternoon, where you and kaiser are walking down on the road for a grocery run. the sun hides behind the clouds and the breeze blows through lightly.
scrolling through your phone as you check the list of the items you'll be buying. walking aimlessly as your boyfriend leads you, a hand placed on your lower back.
surprisingly he's quiet, looking at the buildings and the speck of white flakes that falls faintly on this day.
you continue to revel in the comfortable silence you were wrapped into, listing down some items you've been thinking on top of your head.
milk, strawberries, chocolates...
mind blanking from the things you need at your home, you turn to your lover. whose attention was taken by the surroundings, it's a rare sight to see.
your kaiser is quiet and deep in thought, an eerie scene in your honest opinion, but you don't point it out loud.
instead, you call out to him.
"what do you want for dinner?"
silence.
for someone who likes talking off his mind, your boyfriend didn't even hear you. well, that's something new.
you only call more.
"kaiser? hello? ...love?"
the same response was met.
you wonder what was weighing on your boyfriend's mind for him to drown out the world. it makes you think if he's ignoring you, but you didn't dwell on it for much any longer.
huffing as you try once more, with a louder voice.
"kaiser—"
your boyfriend's head turns all so suddenly to you, interjecting your words.
"—my hand is kinda heavy, can you hold it?"
your boyfriend is really terrible, you conclude.
a smile was plastered on his face, his stupidly charming smile was hanging on his lips. the kind of one that you're familiar with, the one where he finds another pick-up line to use.
he looks at you expectantly, gauging your reaction to what you think of it, you presume—his amazing lines.
and you try to stop the ever growing grin that makes its way to your face, but failing miserably.
only replying to his charms back.
"that's not how the line goes, but you're cute so fine."
a chuckle leaves your lips, making kaiser pout. compared to the pick-up lines he had uttered before, this was definitely better, but not the best.
but it's fine—it's okay because it was him, you think.
"hey, don't laugh! i tried my best okay?" he cried out.
another laugh leaves your mouth, that you tried to stifle—keyword: tried
you took his hands with yours, squeezing it three times in a way to comfort him, dragging him to the store that comes into view.
"okay, mr. i-tried-my-best, whatever you say." you teased, before letting yourself freely laugh at his antics, that only makes him pout more.
your boyfriend was really bad at this, but you don't mind. it's fine, because he's stupid and yours.
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◞♡ likes & reblogs are highly appreciated ! okay,, first time writing for this man i hate him i swear :x based on this prompt btw !!
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senawashere · 7 days
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We're on this together. (Chapter 1)
Bradley Bradshaw × Fem!Wife!Reader
Summary: Nobody warned you for how hard it is to become a mother,same for Bradley.
TW: infertility,mentions of miscarrige,mentions of hospital,mentions of getting pregnant,mentiones of ivf. Mostly angst.
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Tears were streaming down your face,your hands were trembling. Searching for Bradley's number in your contact list has never been this difficult.
Your fingers slid across parts of the screen you didn't want to touch, making your frustration even worse.
The phone line rang at a deafening volume. Once, twice, three times until it goes to voicemail.
His stupid voicemail.
"Hi,its me Bradley. Please drop your message!"
Taking this as a sign, you chose not to try again.
After all, talking to Bradley about it right now would only make him worry for nothing, considering he was busy on deployment and miles away from you. He was about to return this week.
It wasn't something he could solve. Maybe it was but not right now.
Within a few minutes your phone rang. As his name popped up on the screen, a heart emoji next to it and his photo of him grinning stupidly, you felt terrible for doing this to him.
Not only did you let down your own dreams, you were about to let down his too.
You replied, remaining silent. You expected your voice to sound like a lump in your throat.
"Baby, are you there? I couldn't get to the phone in time at first."
You were motionless, your lack of words showed him that. "I'm fine", giving yourself some time, you suddenly started to feel everything you didn't feel until you got home.
"I was at the doctor's today."
"Why are you talking like it's the end of the world? Are you okay?"
Throughout his breathing, it was easy to imagine him even stopping whatever he was doing to pay better attention to you; Not because it wasn't there before. You should have called Penny or someone, they would know how to take care of you.
"Wait, is it about babies? Tell me you're joking," he finished with a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. You could imagine and hear it perfectly.
In the past, when you received good news, you would pretend that something bad was coming, now it's just another thing you regret doing.
You were selfish for talking to him, he was so far away; You could talk to him about it when he got home.
Talking and doing this and that now would cause him more anxiety than he ever had in his hectic daily tour life. Still, he was the only one you needed.
"No, quite the opposite."
The call suffered a long pause, filled with his deep sighs and persistent tears streaming down his cheeks.
You didn't let a single tear fall until you got home, but did you verbalize it? Putting it into words made things different; it felt more real.
"Fuck," he mumbled, clearly a little out of place.
“I can't have kids, Bradley,” your words were interrupted by the growl you were trying to hold back.
He could tell when you were talking to him that everything hit you at once. Over the years, he was able to recognize even small details.
''I'm the reason we tried and it never worked. I cursed it."
"No, baby," he took a deep breath. "Please don't blame yourself. You know it's not your fault." You ran your fingers desperately through your hair; This is what it must be like to feel useless on the phone. Just what you imagined before you made the call. It was bad to announce this to him. "Are you alone? I can ask someone to check on you. They’ll do that, okay?
“Please,” You didn't want to spend the rest of the day by yourself. Also, even though you didn't want to talk to anyone but Bradley, you knew Penny would understand you better, she knew how to make you feel less bad, it would be nice to be around her. And once she mentioned she went through something like that so maybe she would understand you.
Being alone with your harsh thoughts will not be a good option anyway. "I thought about calling her, but I finally gave up, I didn't know what to do, I still don't. Calling you still doesn't seem like a good idea, but I didn't know what to do."
Your weak voice was killing Bradley. If it made him sad to hear that, he couldn't imagine what it was like for you.
"You did great, baby, this is a tough situation but we're on this journey together. You can ask for anything baby, remember?" He smiled, a muffled smile came over the line; It made you feel a little better.
"We can still have children, you know that."
You wanted to tell him that what works for others may not work for you, that your condition may not be that malleable because your condition is genetic. Still, you didn't know if they were true or not, all your thoughts might just be the result of your momentary frustration, but they might also be true.
You need to talk to Bradley about this, everything that's going on in his mind. You didn't want to do this over the phone anymore.
“We can try,” you sniffled, still avoiding the tears you didn't even know were falling. "We can try." You repeated, trying to convince yourself.
"Talk to me, baby. Try to distract yourself a bit, huh? Please. Do you want me to turn the call off? Maybe you can take a long bath with your favorite bubbles or eat something different. That might help."
Even though it sounded wrong, his desperation to help you was adorable. Talking to him made everything perfect, his voice was soothing, you could hear him talking for hours. Now it was no different.
“I just want to hear your voice,” you said, lying on the cold floor of the main room. It would be nice to sleep. It seemed reasonable to forget the previous hours for a few minutes. "You are busy?"
"Not exactly."
"Then tell me how the mission went."
His voice sounded flatter and softer, you could imagine how uneasy he was even from the phone, it was possible to imagine him striding around the room with the phone in his hand. He talked about the mission details the night before. The contrast of how you described your previous day with what happened at the right moment was painful, happy and suddenly you were breaking it.
Everyone knew that Bradley dreamed of having kids, that kids were running around the house and so were you, you wanted to have kids with him even more but with you he would never have one.
"Can I say something?" You asked, taking a deep breath,cutting through his words. "I love you,I love you so much."
Everything was unfair, you both tried so hard. He, too, had become weak from trying, just like you.
"I love you too, baby. This," you could see him in your mind, pausing and gesturing with his hands, "this won't change anything,okay? I still love you so much as the day i fell in love with you."
"We are on this journey together."
"We are on this journey together.”
—-----
Your body trembled.
A cold hand was wandering around your waist as you slowly opened your eyes, feeling a ridiculous headache fill your vision. Your eyes found Bradley crouched on the ground in front of you, and he looked good compared to you. His eye bags were not purple from the 4 hour sleep he was getting,or his hair wasn't messy after the cold,rainy and windy weather out there.
"What are you doing here?" You frowned. Bradley chuckled as you laid your head down once the headache made you feel like you were going to throw up. He could answer your question but you were flattered, he wouldn't think you noticed he was there because he knew you needed him.
So he ignored it, helping you get up.
"Come on, get up. It's cold on the floor, I'll put you to bed." He tried to get you to stand up for him - he failed; but you shifted your weight onto his body, wrapping your arms around his neck, which he found worriedly cute.
“I need you,” you whispered, drunk and sleepy, burying your face in his coat. Let its scent warm you. He smelled amazing.
It was a relief to hear him say that. He didn't want to get into an argument about how it would affect his job in the near future, as you had fought before for the same reason. "I know my baby." He kissed your hair, hugged your waist, and carried you to your room. “She wants to lay down with me.”
He laid you down on the bed, doing the same as he lay on your side, face up and facing the white ceiling.
They both knew it was necessary to speak, but neither knew who should speak first or what they should speak about.
You ran your fingers over his stomach, placing your palm under his shirt, warming his cold hand with your body. You moved closer to his body, nestling into his side as he wrapped his arm around you.
"Tell me, what's on your mind?" He said without looking directly at you.
"There's a lot", your mere words made his throat dry. “It's weird knowing your body can't do what it's supposed to do, especially when you want it to,” you gasped through sobs, his grip pulling you closer to his chest for comfort. "I'm afraid you'll stay with me and a few years from now you'll realize you made the wrong choice." These words hurt him. It hurt him so much to see you blaming yourself.
He hugged you even tighter and asked you to look at him. "I'm not going to leave you, okay? I'm in love with you. That won't change, and it's not your fault. We can try IVF as if it will work, and it's worked for a few people, and we'll have a happy and healthy baby. We have the money for it. If the money I make as a pilot isn't enough, i can even find a part-time job. I can enter just for you, I'm married to you and I love you so much, why should I leave you?"
There were tears in your eyes and you hoped he was right. "What if it doesn't work? If my body miscarries? If we try and never succeed? I don't know if I'm ready to try again-"
Before you finished your sentence, he grabbed your cheek and gave you a messy kiss. He was far from okay, he was desperate, you didn't know how to decipher whether he was trying to silence you or show his emotions. The salty taste of your tears accompanied by the burning in his throat didn't help at all.
You put your hand on his chest and stop him. He was in distress, he probably wanted to stop you with a waterfall of negative thoughts but he didn't know how.
“I don't want to try, I just don't know what to do yet, and it's killing me right now.” You were complaining.
He kissed your forehead and let you lie down.
"We will find a way. It's still new, we can think better or find other ways. Adoption is also a good option, but of course if everything happens at the right time."
You stayed silent for a while, imagining a parallel where Bradley was right and things worked out. Although you were still not convinced by this, you agreed with him. After all, there would be no other way, and you still wanted to have children.
“Adoption sounds good,” you mumbled against his chest. You hadn't thought about it yet, it hadn't even crossed your mind. “There is no risk and there is no way we can go wrong.”
You felt relieved that he was there for you, guiding you to feel better about this.
"You see?" he asked with what looked like a weak smile. "We'll find a way because I don't plan on having kids with anyone but you, so it has to be with you. Whether you like it or not." He joked, drawing a smile from you as he touched your nose with a wet kiss.
It was incredible how he managed to make even the most difficult moments seem lighter.
"Good, because I still want to have your stupid kids.”
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I'm tagging people who might be interested:@ohtobeleah @sebsxphia @callsigns-haze @sorchathered @greenorangevioletgrass @teacupsandtopgun @roosterforme @floydsglasses @lyn-js @bradshawssugarbaby @torchflies @its-dee-lovely @its-the-pilot @friedchips94 @bradshawsbaby @hardballoonlove @perfectprettypisces @topguncortez @hangmanapologist @bradshawsbaddie @shanimallina87 @djs8891 @themusingofagothicsoul @promisingyounglady @the-romanian-is-bae @mamachasesmayhem @jessicab1991 @iefitzgerald-blog @charcole-grey @waterriseslew @desert-fern @promisingyounglady @lewmagoo and if you are not comfortable please tell me!!
REBLOGS,LIKES AND COMMENTS ARE HIGLY APPERICATED🤍🤍🤍
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seung-mong · 9 months
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shoot to kill - bangchan
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includes: ex (?) bf! chan x fem reader, ANGST idk im in the mood to break hearts ig, fluff at the end, soft smut, mostly chan reassuring and praising reader
"alright fuck, then maybe we should just take a break."
the words leave chan before he can really think about it, hanging in the air like a knife that's been thrown and stops midair, your gaze ice cold and freezing it in it's track.
"really. thats your solution? a fucking break?" you scoff, your (chan's) shirt that usually hangs loosely suddenly suffocating you, wrapping you in a snake-like grip and making your head feel like you're going to explode.
"yea, i just dont think us being together is good for us anymore."
chan has a bad habit. he says shit he doesnt mean, blames the anger that builds in his chest and spits out words he knows will hurt. because thats what he wants to do. he knows its wrong, fucked even. the way he wants you to hurt the way he hurts.
"christopher."
its a plea. take it back, please. you stand there in front of him, defenseless. the way his full name falls off your tongue sounds wrong. it's devoid of all the emotions you'd usually call him with. where's the gentleness, the softness you usually regard him with?
"maybe we just.. need to stay away from each other right now." chan's voice is steady, betraying the way his insides seem to shake, he's not sure if he's shivering from the cold, or the way your eyes seem to look at him as if you're seeing him for the first time.
"you can't be serious." it hurts to speak, your words squeezing out of you as you struggle to breathe, tears freely flowing.
he should turn this around. surrender. no, he isn't serious. he's so stupid and he loves you and he's just so hurt by what you said a while ago and he's tired and- "i'll sleep at changbin's tonight."
your chest hurts, physically feels like its being ripped apart as you stare at your lover with empty eyes. "thats your solution? to run away? over such a stupid-"
"stupid?" chan laughs hollowly, running a hand through his hair, feeling all the anger rise in him again. "it isn't stupid, y/n. you're the one who keeps running away. you're the one who keeps pushing away this conversation every single time i bring it up." he's raising his voice now, can see how tense his body is from the reflection on the glass window.
"you're asking me to pick up my whole life and move to seoul with you. this isn't some silly request like asking me to pick where to eat for dinner, it's my whole fucking life, chris!" you raise yours in response, taking a step closer to him.
"that's what i did for you! i dont understand it, y/n. i moved to chicago. for you. picked up my whole fucking life and moved because i loved you. so why can't you fucking do that for me? this is my work, y/n." he takes a step, towering over you.
"no, don't twist it like that. we made plans, chan. we talked about it for months. it wasn't some spontaneous decision. we both wanted this-"
"well maybe i dont want this anymore."
oh.
...
"you don't mean that."
...
"channie? please. you don't mean that." your voice is breaks, shaky as you step away from him, clutching at your chest.
he can feel guilt eat at his stomach as he watches you, whole body shaking as sobs rack through your frame. he needs to apologize, he knows it. but you've hurt him too.
"i just... i need a break, y/n."
you sink into the couch behind you, shaking your head when chan hesitantly approaches you, kneeling on the floor in front of you. he places a hand on your knee, and his chest tightens when you flinch away from him.
"love-"
"don't." you spit the word out, refusing to even look at him.
"love, please-"
"a break's what you want? you fucking have it. tell changbin to expect you." you push his arm away when he makes a move to reach for you. you unfurl yourself from the couch, stepping aside from the man who holds your heart, ignoring his calls of your name as you walk into your shared bedroom, slamming the door shut behind you.
sleep comes quickly when you cry yourself to sleep, curled into a ball in your bed, heart empty as the overwhelming scent of chan sticks to his pillows. you faintly hear the soft click of the front door, and then complete silence.
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it's hard to remember how you fell asleep, almost as if there was a smooth transition from sobbing heavily into your pillow and breathing into a deep sleep. your head is pounding when your eyes open, puffy and sore from your tears. your throat is dry, stomach aching, and heart heavy.
there's a chance chan will never sleep beside you again.
you push aside the bitter feeling, letting out a painful groan when you stretch your limbs, swinging your feet off your bed. the floor is cold, and you have to tiptoe to the bathroom to freshen up.
you look as horrible as you feel. you try not to spend too much time looking at yourself.
the thought of spending your whole day alone in your big apartment makes you uneasy, part of you wishing you could stay cooped up in your room forever. but you know deep down that's not what's truly bothering you, not when the uncertainty eats at you from the inside.
how is he?
is he thinking about you?
why hasn't he messaged you?
...... is it really the end?
you walk to the door, taking a deep breath as tears brim just below your waterline, promising to be productive today, and not to wallow in self pity all day. your scream leaves you before you can register what exactly is sitting by front of your door, large frame leaning against the door toppling over in his sleep.
"what the hell!" you scream, heart suddenly beating too fast at your liking as you finally take the scene in.
"baby?" chan's voice is croaky, as if his throat had been scratched raw. he's still wearing the clothes from last night, shoulder leaning against the doorframe before you swung the door open, causing him to lose balance.
"what the fuck are you doing here?" you sigh, guilt tugging at your heart when chan stands up, groaning and rubbing at his back.
"i- i didn't...."
you stare at him in silence, unable to control the way your brows furrow in anger. he stares back at you, lips suddenly going dry when he sees the way that you look at him, as if he was a bother.
"i thought you went to bin's." you push past him, heading straight to the kitchen as if you had no worry in the world, pretending to busy yourself with dishes despite there not being a single dish in the sink.
"i..... i couldn't leave you." his voice cracks as he takes another step toward you. you turn your back to him, denying him of your attention as you pretend to busy yourself with breakfast, pulling open drawers and taking out pots.
"wow. that's rich." your voice is laced with pure venom when you bite back, sinking deep into chan's heart as he shuffles awkwardly to stand by the kitchen counter.
"you locked the door."
you only hum in response.
"i.... i tried to go in, thought i'd apologize to you but.... it was locked."
"yea. you don't really expect anyone to go in your room when you're on a break."
the silence is heavy on your shoulders, but you know if you say any more the tears will start pouring. you're too mad at chan to break down in front of him, pride and ego wrestling as you maintain your unbothered facade, working your way around him as if his presence meant nothing to you.
"i turned down the job offer last night."
you drop the spatula you were holding in your hand, letting it clank against the metal pot.
"you what?" you finally turn to face him, disbelief etched onto your face.
you finally soften when you see chris mere feet away from you, eyes red and puffy a sign that he had been crying too. his hair is a mess, and his clothes from last night look rumpled, as if he had been restless all night.
"i- you have to know, my love. i will always choose you, nothing else. i was stupid and-"
"christopher, i never said no." you feel irritation rise in you again, but you take another step closer to your lover. "i never said i didnt want to go. i needed time to think, chris. time. to process. and now you've turned down your dream job and i-"
"i know, i know." chris reaches out to you, letting out what you think is a breath of relief when you dont push him away as he wraps his fingers around your wrists. "but i.... this job, it's going to be demanding and i'm constantly going to have to move and.... look, chicago is your home." he raises a hand to cup your face, wiping away the stray tear that had slipped down your cheek.
"and seoul is yours." you argue back.
"no, you are."
you let out a sob at that, allowing yourself to fully melt into chan's warm embrace. he immediately scoops you into his arms, pressing your face into his chest as he kisses the top of your head repeatedly, patting your hair down.
"it doesnt matter what im doing or where i am, as long as you're there." chan starts to choke up, pulling your face away to properly look you in the eyes. "i dont know what the future holds for me, love. all i know is that i want you by my side. in ten, twenty, thirty years." he plants soft kisses all over your face as you sniffle.
"but i- i feel so bad. i dont want to stop you from doing what you want." you groan, but chan simply giggles lovingly at you.
"i dont want you to think that, i dont even think that. its just a job, y/n. its not even a job i really want. it pays well yea, but it's not something id drop everything for. especially not you." he wipes away the tears that are still falling, cooing at you when you hiccup.
"i love you, chan. i'm so sorry." you sob, pushing your face into his shirt.
"don't apologize. i should be the one saying sorry. i was such a dick last night, i-" he sighs, wrapping his arms around your shoulders. "you know i dont mean what i say, right?"
god he hopes you say yes, he prays to any god, even those he doesnt believe in that you know he never means those things. he doesnt think theres anything worse than the possibility that you could actually think he doesnt want you or a life with you.
"i- i know. but... still hurts when you say it." you sniif, wiping away your tears with the back of your hand.
chan pulls away to look down at you. "i know, my love. im sorry. i'll work on that, i promise. can't stand it when you're sad. i hate knowing im the one who hurts you." he leans down to kiss you, the salty taste of your tears making his chest hurt.
"let me love on you, yea? let me take care of you baby, please."
you nod, jumping up when chan taps at your thighs. he catches you, wrapping his hands around your thighs as he carries you to your bedroom. "need to feel you," you sigh when chan gently places you on the bed.
he stands in between your spread legs, quickly throwing off his hoodie and letting it fall to the floor, leaving him half naked. he leans down to hover over you, lips instantly finding yours in a messy, heated kiss. his hands find their way under your shirt, tips of his fingers grazing your underboob.
"wanna fuck you in my shirt." chan hums against your cheek, squeezing your sides when you squirm against him.
"wanna feel your skin on mine though, please baby?" you beg, holding onto chan's shoulders as he kisses down your chest. he hums in agreement, rolling his shirt off so it sits on top of your breast.
"i'll give you whatever you want, baby. just ask me. promise i'll give it to you, i'll take care of you." he presses soft kisses across your stomach and chest all the while, only pulling away to lift the fabric off you. chan eyes you hungrily, only dressed in your underwear.
"you're the most beautiful girl ive ever seen, my love. so perfect for me." he sighs, fingers tangling in your hair as he kisses you deeply.
"want your pants off, need to feel all of you." you whine, fingers already flying to undo his pants.
"such a good girl, using your voice. you know id do anything you asked." he hums, kicking everything off until he lays bare against you, cock already hard as it rubs against your thigh.
"enough with the teasing, channie. need you in me."
"there's no rush, baby." chan hums, fingers dipping down to see how wet you are, surprised to find you already soaking.
"huh. guess she was crying for me too, hmm?"
you lightly slap at his shoulder, fighting the scolding smile that threatens to paint your face. "just put it in already, please."
"hmm. since you asked so nicely." he kisses your cheek, lips still against your skin as he pushes in you, holding your legs as par apart as he can. your breath catches in your throat at the feeling of him stretching you, fingers digging onto his broad back as he settles deep within you.
"feel good?" he asks, pillowy lips trailing across your face.
"so deep- love you, channie." you babble, and chan can't help but giggle. he presses his bare chest against yours, feeling satisfied when every inch of his skin is met with your own. his hands find yours, interlocking them before he dips down to kiss you on the lips.
"lets go slow, kay baby? need to feel all of you. every inch." he coos, hips slowly pulling back before he sinks back in, keeping the same torturously slow pace.
you whin when it starts to get too much and yet not enough at the same time, heels digging into his lower back to push him in quicker everytime he pulls out. "please, channie. need it faster."
"greedy," chan tuts, rubbing his nose against your jawline. "but, what my love wants, she gets."
his pace starts to pick up, lewd sounds of skin against skin filling up the room aside from the occassional moan you let out. chan grunts against your ear, letting out deep sighs and high pitched whimpers everytime you clench around him or reach up to kiss at his neck.
"m close," you whine, throwing yoru arm around your lover's neck to pull him closer. he easily complies, keeping the same rhythm as you press yourself against him.
"wanna feel you cum, baby. wanna feel that pretty pussy clench around me." he groans, fingers finding your clit and rubbing tight circles on the bud.
you let out a silent scream when you cum, legs shaking against chan's waist as he fucks you through your high, letting out a breathy whimper when he feels how tight you've become.
"fuck! love you so much, channie." you sob.
that's what pushes him over the edge, shooting his load deep inside you as his hips stutter, groaning lowly with every thrust. he buries his face into the crook of your neck as you hold him, back sweaty from all the movement.
your breathing seems to sync as you both calm down, chan's hands rubbing up and down your sides as yours curl into his hair, holding him snuggly against you.
"i love you more than anything, y/n." chan suddenly breathes against your neck. he pulls away to look at you, and your breath catches in your throat when you see his eyes are brimming with tears.
"channie?" you pout, gently carressing his cheeks with your thumb. he leans into your touch, quickly kissing the palm of your hand before he nuzzles into it.
"don't wanna lose you. hurts so fucking much just thinking about it."
you're caught off guard by his sudden vulnerability, but you coo at him all the same. "you won't lose me, baby. we'll get through everything." you promise, heart squeezing when his tears start to fall.
"almost did. hate myself so much for hurting you." he sniffs, quickly wiping away his tears.
"baby, listen to me, okay?" you sigh. you try to sit up to look at him better, but chan whines, resting his head in between your chest and tightening his hold around your body. you giggle at him, hands quickly finding its way to his hair as you play with it. "you won't lose me. we just gotta... talk through everything, okay?"
"but i hurt you.... i dont think when i get mad. say things i dont mean."
"and you said you'd work on it. i trust you." he lifts his head up so he looks up at you, chin resting on your stomach.
"i love you. i hope you believe me when i say that. honestly, i dont think those three words can even begin to describe how i feel for you." he sighs, pinching at your side.
you giggle at him, thinking back to how he called you his home.
you push away the curls that cover his eyes, smiling down sweetly at him. "i know what you feel for me channie." you reassure him, pulling him up by the shoulders so he hovers directly above you.
"'s exactly what i feel for you, my beautiful boy." you coo, pulling him down for a kiss.
taglist: @abcdefgiwsmcty@n034sy@148-seungmin
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gavisfanta · 2 months
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ACTIONS - GAVI
summary: gavi has an outburst
warnings: swearing and fighting
You shivered as you walked along the street, the oh so familiar street you walked along multiple of times.
Not because you really wanted to but because you had to.
A cold breeze hit you as a car drove past you and stopped just a meter in front of you on the road.
Fuck, it was Gavi's car. As you reached his car you noticed that the window was rolled down. "Get into the fucking car." Gavi yelled and you sighed while fighting back tears.
"I said get into the fucking car!" Gavi yelled even louder, you almost burst out crying as you got into the car, sitting into the warm seat you put your hands between your knees and kept your head low. You however gazed up at the center console to see that your seat was heated.
"What the fuck were you thinking?! Arent you ashamed of yourself?!" Gavi yelled as he drove back to his house.
You couldn't help but cry, tears burning on your cheecks as they rolled down and finally fell down into your lap.
"Oh now youre crying, gosh Y/n you're such a slut. Making a mess out of everything but then playing the victim, it's always the same with you, I'm tired of your bullshit!" Gavi yelled, his words hurt you, every single one felt like you've been stabbed into the stomach.
"I'm sorry." You whispered, he parked down the car in the driveway of his house. He then grabbed your jaw and made you look up at him.
"Listen here, if you say you're sorry one more fucking time I swear to god I'm gonna beat the shit out of you." Gavi said angrily as he held your jaw so tightly in his grip that you thought its gonna break.
"I love you." You whispered as tears ran down your cheeks. He scoffed while opening the door and going inside your house.
You cried as you got out and followed him into the house. "You're so stupid, my god how can anyone even love you Y/n? All you do is fuck around. You're a fucking whore." Gavi kept yelling at you while you took off your heels.
"I love you." You whispered again and looked up at him. He scoffed again and grabbed your upper arm, his touch felt like a knife right into your heart.
He walked over to the bathroom, dragging you with him as you cried out.
He pushed you into the bathroom forcefully. "Get in the fucking shower." Gavi yelled at you, you stepped into the shower and shivered as he looked at you, his breathing was heavy and uneven.
He then grabbed the showerhead and turned on the water, he turned the water from the very hot side into the cold one but still a bit warm, he held it right into your face, the cold water spraying right into your face, mixing with your tears.
"Does this feel nice? This is how you make me feel everyday!" Gavi yelled again and you couldn't even keep your eyes open.
Everytime you tried to open them you came face to face with Gavi, you didn't wanna see him.
"I love you" You said again and lowered your head. Gavi finally turned off the water and he pulled you out of the bathtub with force. You almost slipped on the wet marmor floors. He held you steady as he then walked out of the bathroom again and slammed the door shut.
You looked down onto the floor of the dark bathroom as you felt water running down your whole body. You listened carefully as Gavi walked over to the front door and left the house, you immediately sat down on the cold marble floor and started to sob.
After about 10 minutes you regained the strength to stand up and walk into your shared bedroom with Gavi.
As soon as you walked into the room you saw a hoodie and joggers spread out on your side of the bed. It had to be Gavi who put those out for you, then you got changed and walked down to the kitchen again.
Your cheek was covered by dried up tears and your eyes still red while you sat down on the couch.
It wasn't the first time you and Gavi fought, but this was the most brutal fight of them all. You've never experienced Gavi this mad and at first you didn't even want to belive that this was real.
Gavi was the sweetest thing to exist on this planet, atleast to you so you didn't really understand while he was so angry now.
After about an hour of waiting for him to come back home you eventually gave up and walked up into the bedroom.
Still wearing his hoodie you slipped under the covers and pulled the blanket up to your neck. Just about 2 hours later after you drifted off to sleep, Gavi quietly made his way up the stairs. He took off his shirt and his jeans and slipped into shorts. He looked at you on the bed, sleeping pescefully. The truth was, Gavi felt horrible.
Ever since he got injured he stacked up the emotions inside of himself, he knew that he had to let them out but he hoped that it wouldn't happen with you.
He also knew that this wasn't an excuse for being so horrible but he will make up for it.
He crawled into the bed and you were turned around, facing his side of the bed. Gavi put his forehead against yours and closed his eyes while exhaling deeply.
"I'm so sorry, I love you." He kissed your forehead and then laid down next to you in the bed. He turned to other way to face the wall as he couldn't stand seeing the tears in the corner of your eyes.
After you were a hundred percent sure that he had fallen asleep you cuddled closer to him and hugged him. You knew he needed comfort and someone to calm him down.
He didn't let you give it to him yet, because before he could trust you he needed to trust himself.
The injury had a bad impact on him at first, he learned how to live with it now, some of those outbursts still happened.
Gavi was just so thankful that you had the patience with him and showed him that you really loved him. After he was back to playing he asked you about it one day.
"I still feel bad for the way I yelled at you while I was injured." He turned his head to face you, but you just shook it off. "No seriously, if I was you, I would have left, why didn't you, I mean I was horrible to you."
"Because there were still signs that you loved me. I know that it affected you a lot, words mean a lot but actions mean way more."
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jeonqkooks · 11 months
Note
jungkook #33 from the fluff list 💗 (even better if its like fboy badboy jungkook getting flustered and shy around oc hehe)
daft pretty boys | jjk
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pairing: jungkook x reader
prompt: "i can't think around you."
rating: G
word count: 0.8k
genre/warnings: classmates to .. lovers?, college au, basketball captain!jk, he's neither a fuck boy nor a bad boy he's just a cute boy <3, fluff, swearing as per uzh, i plagiarized MYSELF bc the shit mentioned here was actually taken from my final paper for a film class two years ago lmaooooooo
as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡
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If there's one thing that Jungkook absolutely despises, it's when people think jocks are dumb. It's a common misconception and it's downright hurtful sometimes; just because Jungkook is the basketball captain, doesn't mean that anybody has the right to assume he's got hay for brains.
However, if someone were to come up to him right now and say it to his face, he probably wouldn't disagree.
"So yeah, if they lose the memories of these relationships, I think they'd also be losing parts of themselves that make them whole, because an individual's identity is an accumulation of multiple smaller identities they have with every single intimate relationship that ultimately forms one collective identity, y'know?" you finish, and it's not until then that Jungkook comes back down to earth, realizing that he's just been staring at you this whole time. "Anyway, what do you think?"
"Huh? Oh, yeah! Same, uhm," Jungkook stammers. "I also thought about their collective relationsh- I mean, collective identity and multiple identities and-"
You purse your lips as you take in his whole demeanor, like a nervous child fumbling with his words. "Did you not watch the movie?"
He did watch the movie. In fact, Jungkook watched it three times over the weekend because that's how much he liked it. When he registered for this class - History of Popular Cinema - at the end of last semester, he was hoping that it'd be an easy elective so he could focus more on basketball and his core courses. And for the most part, this film class is easy. All he has to do is watch movies and hand in a few short essays every now and then. Piece of cake.
Then the final paper rolls around and the professor assigns everybody a partner to work with. In theory, it should still be a piece of cake, because there still isn't that much to do anyway.
So why is it so fucking hard all of a sudden?
Jungkook had never really noticed you before you became his designated collaborator for the month. Never saw you on campus, never saw you attending the games. Hell, he didn't even know your name until this final assignment.
"I watched it," he defends himself lamely.
"Okay. And?"
"It was good."
You frown, and all Jungkook can think about is how adorable that crease between your eyebrows is. How he just wants to reach across the table and smooth it over, or better yet, kiss it away.
He's fully aware of how stupid he must look, with his sweaty palms and his words falling over each other like goddamn Jenga pieces, in front of a girl that he's been obsessed with for weeks now. Jungkook doesn't normally do crushes, but the more time he spends with you to work on this lame ass paper, the more he finds his mind drifting to you even when you're not in his vicinity.
He thinks you're so pretty when you absentmindedly bite your lip whenever you're concentrating. He thinks you always smell like jasmine, and he's delighted by how your scent lingers on his own clothes after every time you meet, like he's carrying home a reminder of you. He thinks you're ten leagues smarter than him when you text him whole paragraphs detailing how postmodern filmmakers flirt with the concept of identity fragmentation through different types of cinematic manifestation as a reflection of the realistic postmodern person, because what the fuck does that even mean?
"You're not doing a very good job at convincing me you watched the movie," you say.
Jungkook groans internally - and a little externally too - as he runs a hand down his face. "I watched it, I promise," he tells you. "I watched it, and I really liked it. It made me think about a lot of deep shit that I don't normally think about."
"Uh huh," you say slowly. Your frown is still there, but now it's embedded in confusion as you try to understand his dilemma. "Then tell me about that. What was the deep shit?"
"I can't."
"Why not?"
How is he supposed to explain that every single thought he had suddenly grew legs and yeeted itself out the window the second he saw you arrive today, wearing a stunning smile and a t-shirt that says Caution: Full of Shenanigans? Not once in his entire life had Jungkook felt so no thoughts, head empty.
"Because I can't think around you," he settles on being honest. "Because I keep thinking about you when you're not here, yet when you are, I can't even think at all."
It takes a minute for his words to sink into your brain, and Jungkook watches nervously as a blush spreads across your cheeks, so rosy that he just wants to grab your face and pepper kisses all over. For the first time since he has known you, you don't know how what to say.
The sight of you, rendered speechless by him being rendered an idiot, has Jungkook blushing too. Despite the patch of bashful silence that ensues, somewhere outside the metaphorical windows of his and your minds, both your thoughts are riding off into the sunset together, holding hands.
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all rights reserved © jeonqkooks. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted 27.05.2023]
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aimbutmiss · 26 days
Text
It didn't take Mihawk long to catch up to whatever was going on between Shanks and Buggy.
And no, it wasn't because he used to listen to Shanks sob about the clown at dirty bars on random nights back in the day. His previous knowledge of their relationship was not needed with how obvious the red head was being at the moment.
Shanks watched Buggy's every move, listened to his every word as if they were sacred—as if he'd be punished by God if he missed a single thing.
His eyes moved down, to the red lips.
He licked his own in hunger.
He looked away, biting his lips.
So, Mihawk was no genius, but you didn't need to be one to see the desperate need and want in the man's every move.
Buggy saw it too, he was certain—but he ignored it like his life depended on it. He went out of his way to act like everything was normal between them, as much as he could. But the clown's phenomenal act had its limits too. You could see it crack in the way his breath hitched when their eyes accidentally locked, or when their knees bumped under the table. The recovery was fast after those single seconds, but Mihawk's eyes were faster. He watched, he saw, he knew.
The meeting was (thankfully) over, and Buggy was the first one to rush away despite Shanks' proposal to share a drink, leaving them behind. The man in front of him was clearly down in the dumps, but Mihawk had no intention of consoling him. He had done that on many nights in their youth with nothing in return, so he had learned his lesson the hard way. It was better to let the man drink away his worries on his own, as he usually did.
He was more worried about Crocodile, who had looked on the verge of killing Red Hair the entirety of the meeting. And even now, after everything was over, he was still fuming in the seat beside his. The two men didn't like each other, that was another obvious take away from the night. This meeting was a stupid idea from the beginning—Mihawk was surprised Crocodile agreed in the first place. Maybe it was curiosity that pushed him towards that decision, maybe something else—the man was certainly harder to read than the other two. But now, on his cigar number-God-knows-what, Crocodile probably regretted that decision.
He gently laid a hand on the man's thigh in reassurance, shifting his focus away from Shanks. "We should go home now. Let's not keep Buggy waiting."
Crocodile slowly came to his senses, calming down. He put out his cigar with a smirk, staring at Shanks head on. "You're right." He wasn't acknowledging what Mihawk said, but what he meant. No matter what the red head did it was them who got to go home to Buggy, not him. The frustration was unnecessary.
"It's always nice seeing you, Red Hair." Not necessarily a lie, but said to console Shanks nonetheless. He ended up doing it again... He still did have a soft spot for the sad man after all. With that, Mihawk got up to leave and walked side by side with his "business partner" to where Buggy was waiting for them. He was probably gonna be a lot more silent than usual, lost in his thoughts of the past, but that was okay. He wasn't alone— Mihawk would make sure of that. Because, unlike with Shanks, when he consoled the clown he actually got love in return. It felt nice, being loved after loving your whole life. He was glad he met Buggy, and ended up where they are somehow.
Mihawk was a man who didn't like leaving things to luck, but when it came to this—to them, he was grateful for it.
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6eeznut · 11 months
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I swear i said "i hate you" but my soul and my twitching cock says otherwise.
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Uchiha Sasuke x Chubby!Reader
A/N : this is the first time i make a fanfic :} sorry if this is so bad but i want to try to make a fanfic from a longg time and if this one was bad, then... i'm just gonna say sorry 😔 also i want to make more Naruto x Chubby reader because i rarely see Naruto x Chubby reader, since theres only a few of those that doing Naruto x Chubby reader so i was like "fine. i'll do it Myself." anyway enjoy! :D
TW : Bad Grammar, First-ever Fanfic of mine, Bullying, Denial, Noncon - Dubcon, Violence, Meanie!Sasuke, Jealousy, Stalking, Noncon-taking Pictures, Degrading, Yandere (put this here just incase cus i had no idea 💀), Tsundere.
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Uchiha Sasuke who is in denial when he caught his eyes on a chubby!reader. he tried to resist the fact that he's in love with someone that isnt even a match with his benefits. he'll look down at you and calling you mean word, he tried to make his own self move-on from you by busying himself, but neither of that work. in fact, he gets more and more in love, and more & more obsessed.
He's confused. why would he be in love with someone that didnt even match a single thing he has? he's smart, handsome, could pull anyone he wants yet he's in love with someone who is a complete opposite of his. this is ridiculous. this is dumb. he thinks you put a magic love spell on him. he fucking hates you. yet he still 'silently' following you everywhere you go. until he sees that you're getting closer to someone, he's gonna be annoyed. why would you hang out with them anyway? and he's gonna lose it when he knows that the person you talking to has a feelings for you. oh boy, he's gonna lose it!!
He tried to calm himself down. "this is so fucking ridiculous." thats all he said, yet his mind is still fulled by you and your stupid soft tummy. he really really lose it when the person that likes you trying to touch you, kiss you, and just trying to be more and more closer to you. he'd be coming from somewhere you cant see him coming and beat the shit out of that person, and after that he's gonna drag you up with him wheter you want it, or not.
and after that, he'll take you with him. he'll lock you up in room that you could consider as his and dont be surprised when you see the room is filled with a plenty photos of yours that you never take. in the darkness of the room, Sasuke will come up right in front of you, from the darkness. & in a mere of a second with his hand, he grip your neck hardly, almost choking you. and making you whimper. "didnt you fucking know how long i've been suffer seeing you hang out with someone!? happy without me!? are you really that dumb you dont even realize that there's someone who is much better than those that is in love with you!?" and while he said that with his ROCK-HARD cock that has been anching and twitching since he sees you.
and with that, he's gonna make you on your knees for him, and suck him off until he'd dried out while he saying something like "i fucking hate you" and we all know he didnt really mean it. in fact that was the time where he come so fucking hard in such a short time, and still he's unsatisfied.
And at the end of the day all of your faces is going to be covered by his dripping cum and your saliva, & he's gonna give you the messiest and the sloppiest kiss you've ever imagine. he cant help but chuckle when he see your eyes rolled back when you suck him off, he thinks its funny, hot and also cute (lol). but when he heard you say "are we d-done?" with cum dripping out of your mouth, his reaction would be a smirk ;) because the real fun has just begun. also he really wants to humiliate play with that soft tummy of yours so... Good (fucking) Luck :D.
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A Fresh Start [17]
Din Djarin x F!Reader
Warnings: losing tempers, arguing, mentions of alcohol and a bit of binge drinking, angst, people getting drunk
Word Count: 15k (i am so so so sorry, i know y'all said you wanted long but this is probably insane. i just needed to end it in that specific place to get the theme i wanted to touch on finished😭 i think you'll like the content if you can bear through it lolol)
Summary: When you made plans for your future they never involved being hired by a Mandalorian to baby-sit his adorable, green gremlin of a child. However, after your life fell apart in the span of one disastrous night,  you found it to be the only feasible option you had left. Nevarro was a  far cry from Coruscant, but the thriving community turned out to be  exactly what you needed. Every day you spend in Nevarro you  fall more  and more in love with your new life, but when your past rears its ugly head you find that perhaps peace wasn’t meant  for everyone.
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#17: CLOSE YOUR EYES, NER KAR'TA
"to be in love with you is to know that even on the days you make me so mad i could scream, i still want to kiss the hell out of your face." ⏤Beau Taplin. "it's the way you wrinkle your nose when you're disappointed in me."
a/n: y'all would not believe the trouble tumblr gave me in posting this smh anyways sorry again this is stupid long (i did warn y'all im a mouthy motherfucker) but hopefully it can make up for the absolutely heartbreaking episode we all suffered thru today :)
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“If I asked you to kick Karga’s ass, would you?”
“Without hesitation, ner kar’ta.”
You couldn’t help but snicker under your breath at his quick answer. Din was lying reclined in the cot beside you with Grogu napping on his chest. It was an entertaining contrast. The soft father rubbing his son’s back as the child snored while promising immediate violence at a single word from you. The awkwardness of yesterday morning seemed to have dispersed after your confession to him. Add to that the fact that Nima was sleeping in a medically induced coma on the cot you sat on the edge of, and you were on cloud nine. There was still a ways to go and you hated that your close friend⏤ your family⏤ had been injured in such a traumatizing way, but her arm would be saved.
The bacta tank had healed what it needed to. It fixed bone, muscle, and tissue nearly 80%. You didn’t want to risk letting the tank manage the injury to the full 100%. Repairing hand injuries was a tricky thing simply because the tendons and muscles in the hand were so complicated. You’d rather set her hand the old fashioned way⏤ make sure she didn’t lose any function. Nima would be devastated if her dexterity was compromised. Her job, her passion, relied on her hands.
“Anything else I can add to our to-do list today other than fighting the High Magistrate of Nevarro?” Din asked with a hum.
You grinned at him. “I’ll let you know if I think of anything.”
Din nodded his head once. Your eyes glanced down at the hardware holding Nima’s hand motionless so it could heal properly. You had already adjusted them, applied a healing paste, then wrapped it, but you couldn't help but re-check your work over and over again. Your obsessive behavior came in handy when Karga had stepped in ten minutes or so ago to check in on Nima. Though his ‘checking in’ had turned into offering you a job once more. It seemed like every type of denial you had he had a counterpoint.
Your main one being that legally you weren’t allowed to practice medicine. You still had a license because the trial questioning whether or not you were ethically to blame for Soran’s death had ended in your favor. However, one stipulation⏤ which had come from a psychological evaluation the hospital made you go through after you were attacked⏤ was that until Kurt’s trial was over you shouldn’t be in the position of making medical decisions. It had been something you were more than happy to abide by as you ran from your life.
Karga’s cheeky reply had been that he was the High Magistrate and as such he could allow you to do anything you wanted to do. Especially if that thing you wanted to do was be his city’s physician. 
A thought formed in your mind and you huffed out a sigh. You could see Din tilt his head toward you in question. You faced him, “Would I be crazy for considering taking Karga up on his offer?”
“I wouldn’t say crazy.” Din replied. “But why? I don’t want you to feel obligated because Karga won’t leave you alone.”
“It’s not that.” You said. The thought grew in your mind, a chaotic frenzy that wouldn’t leave you alone. “If I hadn’t been here, Nima would’ve lost her arm. She might have even died. I stopped that.” Din remained silent and let you think aloud. “I can keep making that difference. I have to. If I don’t then… If something terrible happens then isn’t that my fault?”
Din sat up, holding Grogu to his chest so the boy didn’t fall, “No. No, it’s not. Thinking like that, taking on that guilt, isn’t healthy.” He threw his legs over the side of the bed so he was sitting up and facing you. “Don’t make a decision based on guilt, ner kar’ta.”
“I guess you’re right.” You mumbled.
He stayed silent for a beat before reaching a hand out to you. You stood and took the singular step that would get you close enough to settle your hand in his. Din pulled you forward so you stood between his legs. The cot was on a lower setting which left you staring down at Din while he was forced to tilt his head to stare up at you. 
“Take guilt out of it. Pretend like you’re one of many that Karga is trying to hire for this job.” Din said. You lifted the hand Din wasn’t holding so you could scratch Grogu’s head. His mid-afternoon nap would be over soon and he’d be awake and bouncing off the walls with energy. “Would getting this job make you happy?”
You pondered over the question. There was a thrill in medicine. One you quite enjoyed when you weren’t forced to care for the people who meant the most in the world to you. Plus, thinking long term, you couldn’t be Grogu’s nanny forever. It wasn’t feasible. Not that you wanted out of their lives. You were so entangled in the web of their lives that that was hardly an option anymore. But, if you wanted a real relationship with Din one day, you couldn’t be his employee. You’d have to find a different way to make credits and support yourself. 
“I think so.” You nodded.
“As long as you're happy, then I think you should do it.” Din replied, but the sigh he released didn’t match the approval of his words. “I just don’t want you to make yourself sick with stress.”
“Worrywart.” You teased. Din chuckled and the rumbling in his chest must have roused Grogu. The boy began to rub his face against the metal he was lying on sleepily. You ran a finger alongside his ear. “Hi, baby boy. Was buir too loud? Did he wake you up?”
Grogu mumbled, then turned with outstretched arms. Din lifted him as you reached out. When you pulled the small child to your chest he leaned his head against your shoulder but you knew he wasn’t sleep based on the way he let his small fingers rub against your shoulder back and forth⏤ just like you and Din would do to him. Grogu was mumbling soft words you didn’t recognize.
“Mhmm, tell mama all about it.” You hummed.
Din’s hands had rested on your hips when he didn’t have Grogu to hold. His thumbs tracing circles over your shirt right above your belt. He nodded, “Do you want children of your own one day?”
Your eyes widened in surprise at his sudden question. It was the last direction you expected this conversation to go. Your jaw popped open slightly. “Uh, wh⏤what?”
“Just curious.” Din shrugged nonchalantly.
To be honest, you had never given it any thought. That was a future decision for future you to make. While in training, you told yourself it wouldn’t be something you needed to even think about until after training was over. Then when you were working in the hospital, you told yourself you needed to get settled in your job first. Finally, your life spiraled apart and during the last year that was hardly something that was on your mind. It was funny that you went full circle and all of that led you to standing in Nevarro’s clinic thinking about a future with children of your own. 
Taking care of Grogu was an experience that had given you more factors and variables to consider, but still you weren’t sure what to say. You shook your head and spoke the truth. “To be honest, I haven’t thought much about it.”
“You’re so good with Grogu, is all.” Din replied.
“What about you?” You paused. “Er, that’s not what I⏤ Obviously you already have a child. You have Grogu.” Din chuckled at your babbling. “I meant, would you want… more?”
Din tilted his head and a very casual nod. “I think so. I like the idea of a big family.”
“Do you have siblings?” You asked suddenly. “I’m realizing just now that I don’t know a lot about your life before Nevarro⏤ other than Grogu and the bounty hunting.”
“No siblings.” Din shook his head. “Not by blood at least. After I was brought in by the Mandalorians, as a foundling, I grew up with a few other kids I considered to be siblings on Concordia.”
“Wait, you were a foundling? Like Grogu?”
“Yes.” Din nodded. “I was born on Aq Ventina, but when I was young… My town was destroyed in a Separatist attack. Battle droids destroyed everything. They… I lost my parents. I would’ve been killed myself if a Mandalorian hadn’t saved me.”
You stepped around him so you could sit down on the cot beside Din. He followed your movements with his t-shape visor. You lifted the hand not holding Grogu to settle on his knee. “Din, I am so sorry. I had no idea, I⏤ I wouldn’t have asked⏤ I shouldn’t have asked⏤”
“It’s alright, ner kar’ta.” Din chuckled and set his hand on top of yours. “I knew you didn’t know, but I wanted you to know. Besides, I started this line of questioning.” He squeezed his fingers around your own. “I know you said you were from Naboo. Can you tell me more? Do you still have family there?”
You fell into a casual conversation with him telling him about the family you still had there. Sharing a few memories that couldn't help but slip out when they came to mind. You felt bad that you were talking about happy memories when Din had just admitted to a tragedy, but he continued to ask question after question leading you into them. Which led to him sharing a few memories of his own from both worlds that he walked. Din lingered on a story about his parents⏤ a happy one he held close to his heart based on the soft tone he spoke in.
“How much do you remember of them?” You asked.
“Enough to know they were good parents.”
“I’m sorry you didn’t get to spend more time with them.” You replied softly.
In response, Din lifted the hand on top of yours to bury it in the hair at the nape of your neck. He leaned you toward him and set his forehead against yours. The two of you only remained that way for a moment before Grogu sat up and rested one hand on your cheek and the other on his father’s.
“Skraan.” He blurted. Din and you broke apart, laughing, but Grogu was solely serious as he repeated himself. “Skraan, skraan, skraan.”
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Din knew what he had to do. The part he was struggling with was the how. Oddly, in his mind, the first step was going to be the hardest bit. Steps two through whatever included taking the N1 out to Mandalore, find the living waters, bathe in said living waters, bring back proof to the Armorer, be redeemed in the eyes of his Covert, return to you as a full fledged Mandalorian rather than Apostate, and request to court you properly. Simple. Easy to remember. Din didn’t even need to write it down. However, step one involved telling you that he was leaving Nevarro and that was going to be tough.
At first he thought he’d just bring you with him, but then you told him you wanted to try being Nevarro’s physician. Din couldn’t pull you away from your home right as you had grown comfortable enough with your past to retry medicine. So, that was out. Then, when he had worked up the courage to say good-bye, Cara quit. That one had caught Din off guard. It happened days after Nima’s accident. Cara claimed she got an offer to be part of special forces with the New Republic⏤ an offer she couldn’t turn down. She even took the time to remind him that this was never a permanent thing anyways. 
However, Cara left in the dead of night without even taking the time to wait until Nima woke up. Din didn’t believe that was a coincidence. He was more than familiar with the concept of running from emotions. When Nima finally did wake up, the look of heartbreak on her features when he had to answer her question of where Cara was had been tough to handle. Din reminded himself that his plan was not the same as Cara’s. He was not leaving you to stay away. Din was not running from you. If anything he was running to you. He just wanted to be the very best version of himself before propositioning you, and Din wanted to do this right.
Before he left, he was going to explain this to you⏤ in great detail. And, if you truly meant what you said about allowing him to uphold his Creed, you’d understand. Din repeated that to himself over and over again like a mantra.
Regardless of how that played out, Din was stuck. It was one thing when he was leaving Nevarro short one marshal temporarily. Now the city would be missing him and Cara, and in good conscious he couldn’t let that be.
Mayfeld, hands laced behind his head as his feet were kicked up on his desk, called out. “Come on, Mando. What? You don’t trust me to hold down the fort while you’re gone?”
“Exactly.”
“Uh, ow.” Mayfeld complained. “You could’ve at least pretended to think about it before answering so fast.”
Din chuckled under his breath. Honestly, his relationship with Mayfeld had come a long way. How he felt now was a stark difference in comparison to how badly Din wanted to shoot him in the face when they first met. After what happened on Morak, after revealing his face in front of Mayfeld, Din truly respected the man⏤ trusted him. The truth is he would never forgive himself to leave Mayfeld here to deal with all the responsibilities alone. That wasn’t fair to his friend. All those facts didn’t deter Din from mocking and mildly bullying the man though. That was much too fun to give up.
“I have a friend flying in today to baby-sit you.”
“Nice. Got me a nanny too?” Mayfeld replied. “Hope she’s as pretty as yours.”
Din knew the man was only trying to rile him up, and he technically had picked the exact topic that could do it. But, Din didn’t take the bait. He shrugged. “He’s not really my type, but I’ll let you make the call on that.”
“Alright. So I’ll be the Marshal, and he’ll be my Deputy?”
“No. He’ll be Marshal, and you’ll still be Deputy.”
Mayfeld dropped his feet off the desk, hands falling to his side, and his jaw popped open in shock. “Hold on! The new guy gets to be Marshal before I do?? You’re just gonna promote him over me? Immediately.”
“Exactly.”
The man scoffed in response and crossed his arms like a petulant child. It reminded Din of the way Grogu would pout when you told him you couldn’t snack on cookies or cakes right before dinner time or when Din would wrestle a full sized critter out of his son’s mouth before Grogu could swallow it whole. Mayfeld shoved up from his seat to cross the room and pour himself a cup of caf. Din stayed where he was⏤ leaning against Cara’s old desk.
“You tell your girl that you’re leaving yet? Or is that still a secret?”
“I’m going to tell her.” Din said firmly.
Mayfeld slurped out of his mug, purposely trying to annoy him, “You said that four days ago, then three days ago, then two⏤”
“Keep talking and I’ll demote you from Deputy.”
“Is there even a level below deputy??”
“I can make one.” Din replied dryly. A wide grin crossed Mayfeld’s face and Din shook his head with a grumble. “Today. I’ll tell her today.” Mayfeld just stared at him from above the rim of his mug. Din pushed off the desk. “I’m going to do it.”
Mayfeld shrugged in response and Din resisted the urge to throw something at the man. He huffed and turned to leave. Mayfeld called out behind him, a teasing comment, and Din threw him a crude hand gesture over his shoulder causing the man to burst out in laughter. 
It barely took him any time to get from the station to the clinic. When he stepped through the front doors he was greeted by Aayla and one other worker he wasn’t familiar with. The Twi’lek waved him in and hit a button on the desk to unlock the backroom doors. It was the sound of your voice that greeted him first.
“⏤and if you pull those staples out, you’ll be dealing with me.” You stood at the end of a bed with your hands on your hips and your face drawn in concentration. Aayla had found and wrestled you into a white coat when you started and Din would be lying if he said he didn’t like the look on you. Din especially liked watching you take control of a room. You could command a scene with voice and stare alone, and Din really, really liked watching you do it.
“Baby girl,” A vaguely familiar voice chimed and Din frowned at the nickname, “Dealing with you would be my absolute pleasure.”
Din stepped further into the room to see that a worker from the hanger, a Trandoshan man he couldn’t recall the name of, was sitting on a cot with a long cut from wrist to elbow. A line of staples was holding it closed. Din crossed his arms and tilted his head. “Yeah? How about dealing with me?”
The Trandoshan looked to him at the same time you did, and he found it comical how different the reactions were. Your face split into a bright, gorgeous smile while the hangar worker stiffened up and averted his eyes.
“Well, hi there, Marshal.” You cooed and stuck your hands into the pockets of your white coat.
“Do we have a problem?” Din asked, trying to keep the amusement out of his voice.
You turned to look at your patient and raised an eyebrow in question. The Trandoshan glanced at him before looking back to you and shaking his head rapidly. You nodded and reached out to set a hand on Din’s forearm. “I think we’re okay here.”
“Can⏤ Can I⏤?” The worker pointed to the door.
“Yupp. Keep it dry. Come back in a week, and I’ll see if you’re healed enough to take the staples out.”
The Trandoshan jumped up but paused when he realized he was going to have to pass Din in order to get out. Even though Din was technically blocking the way, he kept his position so the man was forced to squeeze around him. When the man was finally out, your laugh filled the air and Din sighed in admiration. You shrugged, smile still in place, “That was kind of fun.”
“How’re you doing?” Din asked.
“I’m okay.” You nodded and then scrunched your nose once. “It’s so weird. I’m still not used to this, but at the same time I am?” You motioned around yourself. “It’s familiar, but it’s not. Am I crazy?”
Din shook his head, “Of course not.”
“Hmm,” You took a step closer to him so you had to lift your face to meet his visor, “I think you’re biased.”
He grinned under his helmet then shrugged. “Maybe.”
“So, what can I do for you, Marshal?”
“Have you had lunch yet?” He asked, and you shook your head in response. “Can I walk with you to get some? You aren’t busy are you?”
You shrugged out of your white coat and tossed it onto a cot. “That’s the beauty of working for a man who is super desperate to keep you around. I can do what I want.” Din chuckled and followed you out of the room. As you passed the front desk, you called out, “Aayla, I’m going. Just call me if any real emergencies come in. Okay?”
“You got it, doc!”
As you both stepped out, Din offered you his arm and you slipped yours through it. He nodded back toward the clinic. “Who is the new girl?”
“Miriam.” You answered. “Aayla is training her to work the front desk so I can train Aayla. She’ll be able to help me with little stuff. I think she’s got a lot of potential.” Din nodded toward a stand merchant who greeted him first. “We’ll be able to see more if I have an assistant, but we still can’t do any routine kind of work. Karga still needs to get another physician to work that side of things.”
Din hummed. “I hear he’s working on it, but I’ll… encourage him to work faster.”
“Oh, don’t worry about it.” You shook your head. “I can be plenty annoying on my own. You should’ve seen how much I bothered Admin back in Coruscant when I wanted them to buy the emergency department a whole set of ultrasounds.”
Din could imagine the scene and he wished he could’ve seen it. He’d have to make sure he had a front row seat for when you began to hound Karga for this. Without even discussing it, it seemed you both had the same sandwich place in mind⏤ the one that sold the cookies Grogu liked. Din didn’t bother ordering for himself. He wasn’t overly hungry. He mostly just wanted to spend time with you and make sure you took a break to eat. Din watched as you greeted the owners by name and after ordering your food you ordered a pack of cookies for Grogu as well. He could barely even pay attention to the conversation at hand because he was so busy watching you.
Even when the owners offered you the meal for free as a thank you for taking the job in town, you insisted on paying the full price. As you walked out, you frowned at him. “Are you sure you don’t want something to eat?”
“I’m fine, ner kar’ta.” He replied. Din planned finding a bench where you could sit and eat⏤ you had commented about how much you loved the current weather this morning⏤ but the sound of his communicator made him groan.
“What’s going on?” You asked.
Din lifted his vambrace to see he was being hailed to the hanger. “Oh. I have a, uh, friend visiting today. He’s here early.”
“Really?” Your eyes widened.
“Yeah. I’m sorry. I have to go meet him.”
Din had begun to pull his arm away, but you kept your grip around it and briefly bit down on your lower lip drawing all his attention to the shape of the lips he loved so much⏤ the lips that haunted his every dream. You pleaded, “Can I please come with you?”
“You want to?” Din was surprised.
“Yeah!” You bounced in place. “I’d love to meet your friend. I mean, if that’s okay?”
“Always. You should start eating while we walk.” Din nodded.
You snickered. “Okay. Bossy.”
Din’s eyes snapped to you, and he chuckled. The two of you changed direction toward the hanger. 
It wasn’t like you weren’t going to meet Cobb Vanth eventually.
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The week had gone shockingly well. Better than you could’ve hoped, but then again your expectations were incredibly low. Working in the emergency clinic was actually enjoyable. Karga had tried to rope you into doing everything, but you put a hard stop on that for obvious reasons. Nevarro was still relatively small so when it came to emergencies⏤ there really were not many emergencies. Only a patch up job here and there like with the Trandoshan this morning. Again the bar was low considering you started this job with Nima nearly losing her arm.
Nima had been doing very well physically, but, as much as she tried to hide it, emotionally she had taken a toll. You weren’t sure why Cara left so abruptly. Din and you had talked about it in depth one night after dinner and he seemed to think it was because she had cared too much for Nima too fast. The only opinion you had on the matter was that Cara had certainly gotten on your bad side. You were loyal to your oldest friend and it irked you beyond belief that the once deputy of Nevarro had left when Nima needed her most.
“Where’s your friend from?” You asked as Din and you neared the landing pad.
“Tatooine.”
“Ah, my neck of the woods.”
Din chuckled. “Were you even there long enough to call it your neck of the woods?”
“I lived in Mos Espa for at least half a year. In Tatooine years, that feels like a decade.” You replied and the laugh that left him made your cheeks warm. 
He glanced over at you, your arm still looped through his, “What made you choose Tatooine, anyways?”
“It’s kind of a depressing answer. Definitely a mood killer.” You winced. Din’s feet came to an abrupt stop and he turned so he was facing you entirely. You should’ve guessed he’d have that kind of reaction. You shook your head. “I took care of a patient who said Mos Espa was where lowlifes and runaways escaped to when they had no other world to call home. So…” You shrugged. “I went to Mos Espa.”
“Ner kar’ta⏤”
“I don’t feel that way now. A lot has changed, and I’m not the person who initially fled to Tatooine,” You said quickly, “But you asked why I went, so I said.” With your next words, you kept your voice low so only he could hear you. “I promise I’m okay, Din.”
Din gave you a curt nod. With an amused shake of your head, you slipped your arm through his once more and tugged him toward the landing pad. The Mandalorian warrior let you drag him along, and you could’ve swore he was dragging his feet on purpose to make it more difficult for you. The chuckle that left his helmet confirmed this for you. 
“How long is your friend staying for?” You asked, and Din stayed quiet. “And is his visit a social call? I imagine he’s heartbroken being away from the sands of Tatooine.”
Din’s feet came to a stop once more, but this time it came as a surprise. You paused with him and gave him a curious look. He tilted his head. “About that, I wanted to talk to you about⏤”
“Mando!”
You and Din both turned at the voice. Walking in your direction was a very familiar face. Cobb Vanth? The marshal of Mos Pelgo was a far way from home, but he looked no different than the day you last saw him. His signature red scarf around his neck acting as a homing beacon for your eyes. Vanth’s eyes were initially focused on Din, but then they dragged over to you and he shook his head in surprise.
“Little lady!? Is that you??” Vanth grinned. 
Din and you both snapped to look at one another again rather than the new arrival. At the same time, the same words left your lips. “You know Cobb Vanth!?”
Vanth spread his arms out as he continued to approach, a large duffel bag hanging from his back, “Well, ain’t this a surprise!”
The shock wore off and it finally occurred to you that Cobb Vanth was here. Right here, right in front of you. You let out a laugh and rushed to meet him halfway. He greeted you by wrapping his arms around you in a tight grin⏤ a laugh leaving him as well. What felt like another lifetime ago, you had met Cobb Vanth on your arrival to Tatooine. Though your plan had been to settle in Mos Espa you had accidentally ended up in Mos Eisley. In an attempt to get from one place to the other you got lost in the desert briefly after the land speeder you rented ran out of fuel halfway. It had been your fault for trusting the man you got the speeder from. Rather than dying you were saved by the man you were now hugging. Vanth had even been kind enough to get you to Mos Espa eventually.
You pulled away from Vanth. “It’s so good to see you! You look great.”
“Oh, I know, darling.” Vanth winked. “But still not holding a flame to you.” You chuckled and a hand settled on your shoulder. Din had walked over and you took a step back so you stood right beside him. Vanth motioned to the Mandalorian. “You never told me you knew Mando.”
“I didn’t back when I was with you, Vanth.” You glanced between the two men. “How do you guys know each other?”
Vanth readjusted the bag around his shoulders. “Now that, little lady, is quite the story.” He continued on talking about how Din came looking for a Mandalorian and found Vanth decked out in Mandalorian armor. He followed it by describing how Din ended up flying into a krayt dragon to kill it from inside out. A detail you did not love to hear. “We’ve been best buddies since. Right, pal?”
Din didn’t respond. You were still in awe at the coincidence of it all. You missed your Mandalorian by literal months. Din had swung through Mos Pelgo right before you had. What would’ve happened if you met him then rather than now? 
“Mando?” Vanth questioned. Waving his hand once in front of the helmet. “You alright?”
“I’m fine.” Din replied and you wondered where the tension in his voice had come from. You slipped your arm around his once more and he seemed to relax marginally. He cleared his throat before nodding. “How was your trip, Vanth?”
Vanth’s lips stretched back out into a charming grin. “Hey, I can’t complain. Gotta say Nevarro looks better than I thought it would. I’m excited to explore it.” He chuckled. “The weather ain’t too bad either. I was worried I’d miss that desert air.”
“Don’t worry. These lava plains are plenty hot enough.” You replied. “How long are you here for?”
“Suppose 'til Mando here gets back.”
It took a second for the words to register in your mind, but Din picked it up much faster based on the way his entire body tensed once more. Until he gets back. Gets back? You slowly pulled your arm away from so you could turn and look at him. Before your hand could fall away entirely, Din caught it with his own⏤ holding it against his arm. 
“Wait⏤”
“You’re going somewhere?” You furrowed your brow in confusion. He hadn’t mentioned anything about a trip. Din paused and somehow his hesitance irritated you. “Where?”
Din sighed. “Mandalore.”
Your eyes widened, “Manda⏤ The Mandalore that may or may not be poisoned still?”
“Um. Yes.”
“Okay.” You replied. “Alright.” You pulled your hand out from under Din’s hand and shot Vanth a quick, firm smile. “It was really good to see you, Vanth. Welcome to Nevarro! I guess I’ll be seeing you around.” Din took a step toward you, his nickname for you leaving his lips, but you took a step back. “I need to get back to work, but I’ll see you at home?”
You didn’t give him the chance to answer and turned to leave. If Din called out after you, you didn’t hear him. Your footsteps were rushed as you tried to wrap your head around the information you had just learned. Were you angry? Maybe. It wasn’t a clear cut anger though⏤ it was muddled. There were too many other emotions swirling in your head, but the main one that started to push to the front was disappointment. Every time you thought you understood where you stood with Din it seemed like something happened that made you question it all. Had he just planned on leaving the planet without telling you? Or maybe he wanted to wait until the last second and just wave to you as he took off, or hang a note on the fridge for you to find the morning of. Even if you weren’t in this weird back and forth romantic thing with him, as someone who literally lived in his home and helped care for his child you were incredibly involved in his life. If you were a team, then you needed to know the plan.
More irritation boiled up in your blood, and you found yourself changing direction from the clinic to a familiar house. Your fist was banging on Nima’s door before you fully even registered what it was you wanted to say. Nima opened the door, in her pajamas, and your eyes glanced at the metal brace surrounding her right arm out of habit. 
Nima deflated and whined, “Please, please, please, please tell me you’re here to clear me for work.”
“No. Two more weeks. I’m not changing my mind on that.” You replied and she groaned. “I’m here because apparently Marshal Mando is leaving the planet and hired a replacement marshal but didn’t think to tell me any of this.”
“Come on in. I have alcohol.”
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“I told you! I told you⏤ didn’t I tell you??” Mayfeld cried then spun to look at Vanth who was leaning against the wall. “I kriffing told him. Days ago.”
“Please stop talking.” Din groaned as he hung his head back while slouching in the seat. Din thought that the worst part of learning you and Vanth already knew one another would be the tight hug you literally ran to give him. Vanth had pulled you up off your toes in the hug, and the primal side of him yearned for a fight. His hand literally twitched toward his blaster⏤ his kriffing blaster. As if he was going to shoot down his good friend Cobb Vanth who left his town to do him a favor. 
Din had a problem. He was a problem. Growing up the way he had, with the losses he faced, he tended to be possessive of what he considered his own. Din liked to think over the years he had gotten good at reigning that behavior in. He didn’t shoot Vanth, after all. Still, that side of him didn’t hesitate in rearing it’s ugly head in moments like when he watched Cobb Vanth hold you for what he considered to be a second too long. It wasn’t until your arm slipped through his, a soft smile on your face, that he felt the logical side of him slip back into control.
Then, of course, it all went downhill when Vanth accidentally admitted the thing he had yet to tell you. Watching that smile fall off your features, feeling you try to slowly pull away, felt like he had taken blunt force trauma to the chest. It physically hurt and left a raw, aching wound and it only got worse as he watched you walk away. Din put the pain pretty high on the list of ones he experienced, and this was coming from someone who had a job that led him to be stabbed repeatedly. 
“I am sorry about that, Mando.” Vanth spoke up.
“It’s not your fault.” Din straightened his posture and shook his head. “I should’ve told her ages ago. That’s on me.” Vanth had apologized to him multiple times during the walk from the tarmac to the station. He’d do so between asking questions about the town that Din was supposed to be giving him a better tour on. Din rested his elbows on knees. It dawned on him that there was a question he hadn’t asked in his distress. “How do you know her?”
Vanth crossed his arms. “It was a couple months after you left, actually. She got lost between Mos Eisley and Mos Espa.” Din’s eyes widened at the thought of you getting lost in that Maker forsaken desert. Vanth chuckled. “Her land speeder ran out of fuel. It was by pure chance I ran into her. She stayed in Mos Pelgo for a few days then I took her the rest of the way to Mos Espa. We stayed in touch though⏤ here and there.”
Briefly, Din wondered what his life would’ve looked like if the two of you had been in Mos Pelgo at the same time. It was a curious thought but he knew both of you had been different people at that time. Even if it, in the great scheme of things, wasn’t that long ago. Less than a year. Then again, as quickly as you had wormed your way in his heart he couldn’t imagine meeting you months ago would’ve been that different. Din sighed and stood, he grabbed a holopad off the desk remembering that despite his dilemma in breaking your heart today he still had work to do. 
“Yeah.” Vanth hummed. “Little lady and I didn’t see each other often, but she’d visit me or I’d visit her for the occasional hook up.”
Din’s head snapped to glare at Vanth and, in an attempt to ensure his hands were free, he slammed the holopad back down onto the desk⏤ ignoring the tell tale sound of cracking glass. Vanth’s lips curled up into a mischievous grin and Din was half tempted to drag him back to the tarmac and ship his ass to Tatooine. Mayfeld burst into laughter and Din just shook his head.
“Sorry, brother.” Vanth chuckled. “I saw how up in arms you got out on the tarmac. Couldn’t help myself.”
“Hilarious.” Din replied. 
Eventually, Mayfeld and Vanth wandered out so the newest temporary marshal could get acquainted with the town and meet Karga. It gave Din a couple of hours to work though he spent most of it internally spiraling over the moment your entire face fell. He hated that he had been the cause of that⏤ just because he had been too scared to fess up. His communicator began to go off and Din answered it.
“Hi, Marshal?” A woman’s voice said. Din confirmed who it was. “This is Ms. Wynn, I’m in charge of Grogu’s class. Everything's still fine, but class ended about twenty minutes ago and I haven’t seen you or Soran. Is everything alright?”
Din shoved up from his desk’s chair. “I’ll be right there.”
On his way out the door, he called Aayla at the clinic to see if you had just gotten caught up with a patient, but the woman claimed she hadn’t seen you since he took you out for lunch. The clinic had been quiet otherwise. Din’s stomach churned uncomfortably as he hurried to pick up his son. Were you alright? Or were you so upset that you refused to even care for Grogu? Din knew the moment that thought crossed his mind that he was wrong. Regardless of how upset you were with him, you’d never take it out on the little boy. Din just hoped you were okay.
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You narrowed your eyes at Nima as she downed the last of her beer, “Is this all you’ve been doing all day? Drinking?”
“Well, I can’t work, so…” Nima shrugged. When she offered you a drink you had turned it down, technically still on shift as the physician, but she hadn’t stopped from drinking herself. You had come here to rant about Din, but as it turned out you both had plenty to complain about. For hours, you and her had sat on the back porch of her house . The last thirty minutes or so you were trying to pry information out of Nima about how she felt about the Cara situation, but the mechanic would simply shrug it away. You knew she was hurting more than she claimed though. “Do the skies look gross to you?”
“What?” You blurted and slumped down in your seat.
“The sky. It looks…icky.”
You peered up best you could, and in her defense icky was probably the best word. The day had started clear, but the sky now had a greenish tinge to it. It reminded you of the beginnings of a storm, but you couldn’t see any clouds. You leaned out further to look and by doing so it gave you a clear view of Nima’s kitchen through a side window where you saw a clock resting against her wall. 3:37. Dank farrik. You jumped up.
“Karking⏤ Grogu!” You panicked. Shit, shit, shit. “Stop drinking, Nima.”
She mumbled a confirmation that you didn’t firmly believe then started sprinting back to the center of town. You had never, ever been late to pick up Grogu before. Guilt gnawed at you imagining Grogu looking for you in a crowd of parents and not being able to find you. Maker, how could you lose track of time like that? You got to the school in record time to find that all the kids were gone. Ms. Wynn was cleaning up around a room and she said Din had come and picked him up about ten minutes ago. 
As much as you wanted to avoid Din for a little while longer, you needed to see Grogu so you could apologize to him. On your way in you passed Mayfeld and Vanth who were standing in the lobby. They both raised their hands to greet you and you blew past them without preamble. You were a woman on a mission. 
“Grogu?” You called out, searching the room. Faintly, you could hear Grogu calling back to you and he waddled into the room a second later. You breathed a sigh of relief and knelt down to scoop him up into a hug. “I’m so sorry, baby. I am so, so sorry.”
“No sorry.” Grogu hummed giving your cheek a small pat making you chuckle.
The sound of a throat clearing had you glancing up to see Din leaning against the doorway that would lead back to his office. You were in an odd position because you were still upset at him from leaving you in the dark, but you were also ashamed and embarrassed at missing Grogu’s pick up time.
“Hi.” You mumbled awkwardly.
“I’m sorry.” Din blurted. Your eyes narrowed. Was he not going to address the ‘you abandoned Grogu’ thing first? “I should’ve told you sooner that Grogu and I are going to Mandalore.”
You slowly stood up with the cooing child in your arms. “You and… You’re taking Grogu?? To Mandalore??” If he heard the rising anger in your voice, he didn’t show it. “The planet that, again, we don’t know is even habitable?”
“Of course. Where I go, he goes.” Din shrugged nonchalantly. You blinked once, and Din finally seemed to catch onto at least one of the thoughts you had. “I want you to go, but I can’t pull you away from Nevarro. Not when you just started working in the clinic, and if I did choose to leave Grogu here that would just be added stress for you.”
Right. Because worrying about Din and Grogu on some wasteland of a planet wasn’t a stress factor. You locked your jaw and let out a slow breath through your nose. The boy in your arms seemed to latch onto the tension faster than his father did based on the worried looks he was bouncing between the two of you. Finally, you found your voice, “I forgot Grogu at school. I lost track of time. I⏤”
“It was an accident, I know. I’m not mad.” Din said calmly. 
He wasn’t mad. Din wasn’t mad, and somehow that made you even angrier. A part of you wondered if he was purposely not showing any anger in an attempt to keep you from being angry. One mistake for another mistake. Tit for tat. Maybe he was trying to make up for the fact that he knew he upset you, but you hated the calm demeanor he still seemed to carry. It occurred to you then, that you wanted him to be angry. You wanted to argue. The Mandalorian in front of you was the picture perfect example of composure and it pissed you off.
“You’re not angry.” You enunciated each word.
“Of course not, ner kar’ta.” Din shook his head. He drifted closer. “We should talk more about this trip⏤”
“Why?” You shrugged and pasted a large smile on your face. If he wanted to be composed then you’d be composed too. “I should check on the clinic one last time before heading home. I’ll take Grogu with me. Get as much time with him as I can before you boys go on your little adventure.”
Din shifted his weight from one foot to the other, a nervous tic you usually only saw at home, “Yeah. I might be late getting back. It looks like there might be a volcanic ash storm rolling in soon. Nevarro hasn’t seen one since before the guild left here.”
“No problem.” You said. “I’ll see you at home.”
Din began to take a step toward you, but you turned on your heel to leave with Grogu. You knew you were being petty, but right now you didn’t really care. If the two of you were playing mistake for mistake then this seemed fair too. You were petty to him and he didn’t tell you that he planned to leave you alone on this planet without him or Grogu. Tit for tat.
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Din watched you leave with the sinking feeling that the interaction between the two of you had not gone well. Mayfeld stepped in with an incredulous look while Din continued to just stand with his arms crossed over his chest.
Mayfeld scoffed and motioned behind him, “How in the hell did you make it worse?”
Din mumbled a string of curses in every language he was familiar with and pushed past Mayfeld to leave. The man fell into step beside him. As much as he wanted to chase after you, he needed to help get the city prepped for the oncoming storm. Mayfeld, never able to take a hint, shook his head, “I mean, geez Mando. How is it you can string up a quarry in seconds, but can’t figure out how to apologize to a woman?”
“Where is Vanth?” Din asked, ignoring Mayfeld’s own line of questioning.
“Walking your girl to the clinic then home.”
Din locked his jaw. That was good to hear. He wanted to be the one to walk you and his son back to the safety of your shared home, but considering the circumstance he was just glad you weren’t alone. Din ordered Mayfeld to take the eastern side of the city and warn all citizens to bring in or tie down their outdoor belongings while he took the west. 
He didn’t get it. Had you wanted him to be angry at you? Din was a little peeved, it’d be a lie to say that he wasn’t. He had to leave work to pick up Grogu despite you taking on that responsibility this morning. Since starting at the clinic, you and him had taken turns, but Din liked to know beforehand so he wasn’t just up and leaving the station. If an emergency happened, where you were needed with a patient, that was more than understandable, but that hadn’t been the case. You had just lost track of time. A very human mistake to make, and honestly it was your first when it came to Grogu. So, yes, Din was a little peeved, but he wasn’t angry.
Din pushed it out of mind. You knew the truth, and he could better explain himself tonight when he got home. Right now, he needed to focus on the task at hand. 
According to Karga, the volcanic ash storms were quick but deadly. The closest volcano would spew out a hot and devastating breath of ash. It’d roll over the city, blanketing everything in darkness, but it usually was blown away and gone in a matter of hours. Din had heard plenty about them, but they had never occurred while he was planet side. As long as there was proper prep to begin with then it should be a smooth transition. Karga, ever the planner, had built the city buildings with proper metal shields to roll down over windows and doors in the case of a storm. Everybody would stay indoors for a half a day, and then they’d spend the rest cleaning up.
Din wondered if his helmet was equipped to withstand the ash. It should be. The beskar and his flight suit would keep the hot ash from burning his skin, and if his helmet worked correctly then the filter should keep out most of the dangerous ash. He only wondered in case he needed to venture out to save a citizen or two. They were making the rounds to tell everyone that staying indoors was an order, but Din knew with his luck one or two people would ignore the warning.
It took hours to ensure the entire city was ready to be locked down and make sure that Vanth found his place and that it worked for the man. Din had simply housed him in Cara’s old place. It was still furnished and it wasn’t like Vanth needed anything permanent. The storm was still being estimated at being 24 or 36 hours out. It would give Din, Mayfeld, and Vanth time in the morning and afternoon to run through the city once more for final checks.
“Hey,” Din called out as he stepped into the house with a sigh. When he rounded the corner he noted that you were in the kitchen alone and cleaning up. He glanced around, “Grogu?”
“Bathed and in bed.” You replied without missing a beat. “It’s late.”
“Yeah, sorry, getting the city prepped took longer than I thought it would.” Din groaned. “How was⏤”
“I have leftover dinner for you.” You interrupted him and motioned to the stove. “But I figure you’ll want to clean up first.”
Din nodded in relief, “Thank you.” You gave him a tight nod, a smile that didn’t reach your eyes painted your lips, and he paused before heading back to the shower. “Hey, you’re not going to bed are you? I wanted to talk.”
“I’m not going to bed.” You shook your head.
“Good.” Din turned and hurried off. From the moment Vanth let slip that he was leaving, Din had been craving to sit down next to you and explain everything. He wanted to take your hand in his and reassure you that everything was going to be okay, they wouldn't be gone long, and it killed him to leave you behind. Din wanted to explain that he was leaving to find redemption and revenge. Though, he wasn’t quite sure how you’d handle that information.
As Din washed the day off of him, he wondered how you’d feel about that? If he told you the absolute truth that he planned to find redemption in part so he could court you. If he told you that he planned on tracking down Daelar to rip the man’s throat out. He wasn’t positive how you’d handle either fact, but he was positive that he needed to tell you. Din was human, he made mistakes, but he made it a mission in life to not make the same mistake twice.
After getting dressed, Din carried all his armor, sans his helmet, into the room to set aside. He paused long enough to check in on Grogu and tuck the blanket thrown haphazardly around the hammock around the boy’s small body. “Nuhoy morut'yc, adi’ka.” Din readjusted the stuffed frog in Grogu’s hammock with a smile and left the room as quietly as possible. A nervous energy settled along his skin and he rolled his shoulders once, “Ner kar’ta?”
The kitchen was empty and Din titled his head in confusion at the finding. His eyes landed on a plate of food waiting for him on the island counter and drifted closer. Sitting beside the plate was a small note with the most passive aggressive of all smiley faces he had seen drawn.
‘Went out with Nima. Don’t wait up’.
Din aggressively tore his helmet off and the only thing that kept him from slamming it onto the counter was the knowledge that the sound would wake up Grogu. His nervous energy melted into irritation. Sure, he hadn’t clarified that he wanted to talk when he asked if you were going to bed, but Din knew his intentions had been clear. That’s why you had deliberately answered his question in such a specific manner. His hands clenched and unclenched as he took a slow and steadying breath. 
He wasn’t angry. He wasn’t. Din repeated this under his breath in an attempt to convince himself of it.
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It was funny. The last time you sat in this cantina with Nima, in these exact chairs, the two of you had also been talking about Din. The subject last time was how awkward it was to tiptoe around him in his own home. Mashal Daddy, is what Nima had called him last time.
“Marshal Dickhead.” Nima scoffed before taking the shot in front of her. She pushed your shot glass closer to you and you tossed it back as well. The liquid burned the entire way down and you grimaced. It had been ages since you drank to this degree⏤ you were a light weight now. “That’s what he is.”
You shook your head. “No, he isn’t.”
“Okay, I need you to work on your shit talk.” Nima pointed at you. “Defending the person you’re complaining about is kind of redundant.”
You tapped your glass and the bartender wandered back over to pour the both of you another shot which you took without hesitation. Nima tried to get them to pour another, but you shook your head and ordered two mixed drinks instead. At least those had something other than straight liquor in it. 
“I’m pissed at him, but I don’t wanna shit talk him.” You replied.
“Then what do you want to do?”
“I don’t know.” You sighed. “I want to fight.” Nima gave you a questionable look and you shook your head. “Not physically. Maker, I don’t have a death wish.” Picking to tussle with a Mandalorian could possibly be the stupidest choice in the galaxy. “But I want to argue with him.”
Nima narrowed her eyes. “Why?”
“Because I⏤ I⏤” Your words got caught in your throat and you tried to wash it down with a large swig of your drink, to no avail. It was dumb to want to argue, wasn’t it? Couples tried to avoid that. Not that the two of you were an official couple. You groaned and buried your face into your hands⏤ already feeling dizzy from the drinks. You wanted him to be upset with you, to feel comfortable enough around you to show that he was upset. Up until now, the two of you hadn’t had any real arguments. Sure, there were little tiffs here and there about nothing important, and it typically always ended with Din conceding the point with a shrug. Despite what most people seemed to think, you knew that towering wall of beskar had emotions. He had a lot of kriffing emotions, and you wanted to see all of them. Even the negative ones. 
“I think I get it. The ‘wanting to argue’ thing.” Nima said softly. You lifted your head to look at her and she gave you a small smile. The Twi’lek reached out to set her hand on your shoulder with a comforting squeeze. “You want to have hot, angry make-up sex.”
Despite the sullen thoughts weighing you down, her words made a loud laugh slip from your lips. Nima look affronted that you were laughing at her theory, but you just shook your head and let the laughter die down to chuckles.
“I was serious.”
“I know you were. That’s why it’s funny.” You replied and took another sip of your drink. “But, I think I want to have not angry sex with him before I go for the other stuff.”
Nima’s eyes widened, “Wait, you guys haven’t⏤” You shook your head. “What the kriff are you waiting for!?”
“I don’t know.” You admitted. It was a fair question. “I think we’re going slow.”
“But, why?” Nima replied. “It’s obvious the two of you wanna jump each other’s bones. Half the city thinks you’re already married to him.”
You furrowed your brow, “Yeah, why is that? I get that the evidence stacked against us is damning, but to just assume we’re married?”
“Oh, I’ve been telling everyone the two of you are married.” Nima replied.
“What? Why??”
“I don’t know.” Nima shrugged. “Seemed fun. Figure it’ll be true one day.”
You scoffed, “Well, it won’t be if he disappears on the cursed world of Mandalore.” 
The words fell out of your lips with more pain than you meant to convey. Nima’s face fell and you lifted your drink to knock back the rest of it. That was a possibility, wasn’t it? Din and Grogu leave you to never return. Then what? You live in the house you shared with them alone? Listening to the ghostly echoes of where they used to be?
“Shots.” Nima called out to the bartender. “We need more shots.”
The two of you were four more shots in when a familiar face wandered toward you. Vanth leaned against the bar on your other side with a smile that you could tell was concerned. “Hey there, ladies.”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, buddy!” Nima drunkenly lifted herself from her seat, nearly toppling over, and pointed at Vanth. “We aren’t interested. She’s married,” Nima pointed to you then pointed back to herself, “And I like pussy.”
Vanth’s eyes widened and you dragged her back down into her seat. “First, stop telling people I’m married. Second, stop announcing to the bar that you like pussy. And, third,” You motioned for Vanth to take a seat beside you which he did, “This is Cobb Vanth. He’s a friend from Tatooine and the replacement Marshal while Di⏤ Mando is gone.”
In your own tipsy stupor, you had nearly said Din’s name aloud. Luckily, Nima was too gone to notice and Vanth didn’t seem to care. He leaned over to over his hand in greeting. “It’s nice to meet you…?”
“Nima.” She replied curtly and held her hand out like a queen offering it to a peasant. You rolled your eyes, but Vanth just changed the position of his own hand to take hers with a small shake.
“Nima.” Vanth said. “Can I buy you two drinks?”
“I insist you do.” Nima nodded and pulled her hand away.
You chuckled with a shake of your head and tossed back the rest of the one in front of you so Vanth could get you a fresh one. Nima was babbling about something mechanical that you couldn’t follow along with and directing her words to anyone who glanced her way. 
“I’ve already apologized to Mando, but I feel like I owe you an apology too.” Vanth said. “I’m sorry about what happened on the tarmac.”
You snorted. “It wasn’t your fault for assuming Mando wasn’t keeping secrets.”
“I don’t know if I’d call it a secret.” Vanth shrugged, catching the bartender’s eye and holding up three fingers. He turned back to you. “I think the poor guy was just scared.”
“Mandalorians don’t feel fear.” Nima blurted out from behind you, apparently a part of the conversation now.
You shook your head. “I don’t care if he was scared as long as he tells me that he is.”
“Fair request.” Vanth shrugged. The drinks were brought over and you took a small sip of yours. The tipsy buzz floating in your skull was slowly shifting to just plain drunk, and a sadness crept in alongside it. You suddenly wished you were at home curled in bed⏤ curled in his bed. Listening to the soft snores of both him and Grogu. “So,” Vanth’s voice snapped you out of Din’s dark and safe room and back into the noisy cantina, “Where does that leave the two of you?”
“She’s dropping his ass.” Nima barked.
“Nima⏤” You whirled on her.
“You don’t need him! He’s abandoning you!” Nima cried and you took in the way her lower lip quivered for just a moment. “We don’t need either of them! They can⏤ They can go explore the kriffing galaxy or join the New Republic’s special forces team or whatever it is they want to do! We don’t care. We’re better than that. We don’t need them.” She turned and shook her head before taking a large sip of her drink. “I’m better off without her.”
You reached out, wordlessly, and pulled her hand away from the glass so you could hold it. Nima tangled her fingers with yours and squeezed once⏤ hers eyes glistening with unshed tears. You knew she had taken Cara’s departure worse than she wanted to admit. Nima was right. She didn’t need Cara. Nima was strong and beautiful and smart and incredible. Cara had been a friend but she had also been a bump in the road. She left selfishly when Nima needed her most, but Nima was going to rise above it. However, she had been wrong about you.
You did need Din. That’s why the thought of him leaving Nevarro was so jarring and painful. Coming here had been a way to escape your past and hide out, but you had never expected to find someone who would grow to be so important. Honestly, it was a bit scary if you thought about it for too long, but the truth was that you needed Din in your life. Him and Grogu. Without them, you’d have a gaping hole in your heart and you weren’t sure there was anything else in the universe that could fill that. Din hadn’t fully explained his reasoning, you hadn’t given him the chance, but you knew he wasn’t leaving you. Nima had been blindsided by Cara and left with nothing. Maybe it would’ve taken him forever, but Din wouldn’t leave without saying good-bye and you knew⏤ deep, deep down⏤ that he’d fight tooth and nail to return to you. 
“I’m sorry to ruin your night, Vanth.” You said, “But I think we’re gonna call it quits.”
“Don’t be silly.” Vanth shook his head. He tossed back his drink before rising himself. “I’ll walk you ladies home.”
You gave him a thankful smile knowing you were in no state to navigate to Nima’s house in the dark, put her to rest, then find your way back home yourself. Vanth chose to help Nima walk considering you had at least a little better control over your legs. The three of you stumbled out of the cantina into the warm night air⏤ it was time to go home.
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Din didn’t have the time to put all his armor on, it was nearing one in the morning when his communicator went off, so he had simply thrown on the upper half of his flight suit, gloves, and boots. It left him in one of the more ridiculous outfits he wore considering his sweatpants did not match any item he adorned, but he just needed to get the door.
When he swung it open, Vanth stood on his porch with you in his arms sleeping soundly. He nodded toward your figure, “She was wide awake when we dropped off her friend, and was doing decent on the way here, but by time I reached the end of you street she was dozing off on her feet.”
“Thank you.” Din mumbled. He was quick to step forward and take you into his arms⏤ not enjoying the way you were snuggled into Vanth. Though he did appreciate the man bringing you home. “I really do appreciate this.” You shifted so you could bury your head into the crook of his neck and Din sighed. “Was she… How was she when you found her at the cantina?”
Vanth didn’t answer at first. He stared at Din for what felt like a long moment before looking at you then back to him again. Vanth chuckled, “I know I’m new to town, brother, so take this with a grain of salt.” He shook his head. “But it’s obvious she cares about you as much as you care about her. A fight now and then is normal, but don’t let it go on for too long. You don’t get time wasted back.”
“Thanks for the tip.” Din mumbled. 
Vanth gave him a quick nod before turning on his heel and leaving. Din shut the front door with his foot and carried you through the quiet house until he reached your room. The thought that you spent the night drinking until you were too inebriated to get home yourself bothered him more than he wanted to admit. You were a grown woman who could do what you wanted, but you had gone to specifically avoid talking to him. He found that incredibly annoying. 
It was like you were purposefully trying to rile him into lashing out, and that’s the last thing Din wanted to do. Din had a temper, but back during his bounty hunting years that was easily handled. He’d get angry, he’d go hunt a quarry and burn that emotion right out of himself. Now, he was in a setting where he didn’t have an outlet and he worked hard to keep that temper under wraps. Din had lashed out at Karga a time or two since his arrival, but that was expected and Karga was no stranger to his anger. 
Din settled you on your bed and began to carefully take off your boots followed by your socks and pants. He kept his gaze off your lower half as his only goal was to make you more comfortable. He stood and pulled your covers up to tuck you in. Din paused for a moment before pulling his helmet off and tucking it under one arm. He ran a hand through his messy hair and sighed. Maker, you were driving him up the wall. You had no idea the kind of fire you were playing with. It’s not like you were in danger, Din would tear his own heart out before hurting you, but he didn’t want to yell at you. 
“Ni aalar sha yaim ti gar.” Din sighed aloud. A reminder. He leaned forward to press his lips against your temple. Din would not lose his temper with you because he could not afford to lose you. He turned off your automatic alarm sitting on the night stand by the bed and wished you the same farewell he had to Grogu earlier in the night. “Nuhoy morut’yc, ner kar’ta.”
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The headache you woke up with was nasty, and you swore in that moment to never drink again. Probably a fruitless promise to yourself, and not the first time you had claimed it, but right now you were miserable. You groaned and rubbed your face in your pillow before sitting up with a grunt. There was a weird amount of sunlight in your room and not just in ‘my poor hungover eyes are overly sensitive’ kind of way. You rubbed your face, glancing around, and it was then you realized the alarm sitting by your bed was off.
“Shit.” You breathed and jumped out of bed. The sheets tangled around your lower leg and you hit the floor with a curse. First you forgot to pick Grogu up from school and now you’d be late to taking him to school. Maker, you were so stupid. As reliving as it had been to drink and talk to Nima last night, it hadn’t been worth it for this. The speed in which you got dressed was startling and you burst into Din’s room to find it empty.
Your hungover brain realized much too late that this could’ve been bad if Din were in here with his helmet off. “Grogu??” You hurried out of the room and into the hall. When you stepped into the kitchen you were met with the smell of food and the sound of babbling. Grogu sat in his high chair eating with his father right beside him dressed and ready for work. “Grogu.”
“Ma!” Grogu greeted briefly before diving back into his food.
Din turned to stare at you and you rubbed your face in embarrassment, “I’m sorry. I don’t know why my alarm wasn’t on.”
“I turned it off.” Din shrugged. “Vanth brought you home late. Figured you needed to sleep in.” Din rose from his seat and began to try and clean Grogu up from the mess he had made of breakfast. “You’re fine. I can take Grogu to school this morning.”
“What?” You gaped in disbelief. 
“What?” Din echoed. 
“You hired me to take care of Grogu while you worked and I am failing at that right now.” You spat.
Din scoffed. “Failing is a bit dramatic. You made a mistake. It happens.”
“I show up passed out from drinking on a work night, and your response was to tuck me in and turn off my alarm??” You said as your voice began to raise. “Seriously??”
“Wasn’t a work night.” Din replied calmly. “I wasn’t on schedule.”
You groaned in frustration, “That’s not the damn point, Din!”
“Then what is the point?”
“The point is you’re supposed to be upset! You’re supposed to be angry!” You snapped. Grogu cooed nervously from his seat and you bit back as much of your anger as you could. “It’s a normal human response. Why can’t you just admit that you’re angry at me!?”
Din set his hands on his hips and shook his head. “Why do you want me to be angry at you so badly?”
“Because I want you to be human around me!” You snapped.
Din stiffened, and as much as you hated the way you worded that, you thought maybe it would be the line that pushed him over the edge. Instead, he just gave you a tight shrug. “Sorry. I didn’t realize I wasn’t being human around you.”
“Really?” You laughed in broken disbelief. “You’re not even going to react to that shitty thing I just said?” Din remained silent. “Whatever. I’m taking Grogu to school.”
“You don’t have to do that⏤”
“Actually, I do.” You replied sharply and scooped the boy up from the chair. Grogu reached up to set a hand on your face and you sighed⏤ momentarily finding peace. When your gaze lifted up to spot Din once more the peace fell away. “It’s my job. Remember? Might as well do what I was hired to do while Grogu is still in Nevarro.”
Din didn’t respond. He stood stock still. Enough so that a stranger could walk in and confuse him for a droid. On your way out, you scooped up Grogu’s bag by the door and hurried out. There was a sharp, acidic tang in the air that greeted you and you flinched at the smell. The sky was uglier than it had been yesterday, but you were already late so you pressed on. 
The entire rushed walk to school, you spent it apologizing to Grogu for yelling at his father in front of him. You shouldn’t have lost your temper in front of the child. As if he understood the situation entirely, Grogu babbled along with you and continued to give your face small pats of reassurance. Right outside of the school, Ms. Wynn stuck her head out to greet you.
“Hey, Wynn. I am so sorry about yesterday and for being late this⏤”
“Hurry, get in.” She grasped you by the wrist and tugged you inside. She shut the door tightly behind you and you glanced around the room to see all the children being kept busy by the other school workers. You gave Ms. Wynn a confused look and she sighed. “The storm is coming sooner than everyone thought. The watch people are estimating it to hit city center in the next twenty minutes or so. You can’t be outside.”
You shrugged, “I can get to clinic in fifteen.”
Grogu wiggled and whined in your arms so you set him down so he could run off to play with his friends. Ms. Wynn shook her head. “No. It’s not worth the risk. Volcanic ash storms are incredibly dangerous. The entire city is locking up right now.” You still thought you’d be able to make it, but before you could argue further your communicator began to beep. “I’ll let you take that. I need to start class.”
You nodded and watched her walk off before activating your communicator. “Hello⏤”
“Ner kar’ta?” Din’s voice crackled to life⏤ panic evident. “Where are you and Grogu??”
“At school. Wynn just locked us in for the storm.”
“Good.” You heard Din breathe out a breath of relief. “Just stay there until the storm passes. It should be over by this evening.” There was an awkward pause of silence before he cleared his throat. “If you need anything, call me. Please.”
“I will.” You replied. Then added, “You’ll be safe at home, right?”
“Yes.”
“Good.” You hummed. “I’ll, uh, talk to you later.”
The call ended miserably and you wandered to the side of the room where you could drop into a chair. The good news was you wouldn’t have to worry about Grogu like some parents probably worried about their kids. Minutes later, the sound of strong wind and debris rattled the metal sheet covering the window you sat by. It made you jump in alarm and you silently thanked Wynn for stopping you.
That had come much sooner than twenty minutes.
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You had to applaud Ms. Wynn and the other workers for their tenacity. The storm outside sounded miserable and terrifying, but the kids seemed nonplussed by it with the way the teachers distracted them. Around the end of the first hour, Aayla contacted you to ask about a few people who had wandered out into the storm and then stumbled into the clinic. Most of the injuries had been superficial⏤ the exposure short term as they came from nearby buildings. You walked her through how to mix some paste for burns.
It was during the second hour that the patients got too complicated for Aayla.
“I don’t know what to do, Doc.” Aayla’s voice shook. “I keep having him use his inhaler, but after a few minutes he ends up needing it again.”
“I’m worried he’s scorched his lungs. His asthma making it that much worse.”
“Do I mix a paste? Or⏤ Or make a solution?”
You sank in your seat. It was a solution that needed to be made, which you trusted Aayla to do, but that fluid then needed to be aerosolized. That way the patient could breathe it right into his lungs. Working with the machine that did so was tricky and even you weren’t the best at it. You hated the idea of getting Aayla to attempt it only to make a mistake and take on that guilt herself. She was still new to medicine. That kind of guilt shouldn’t be weighed on her conscience considering she hadn’t been trained for this.
“What’s his oxygen status right now?” You asked.
“It’s in the mid-80s and that’s with an oxygen mask on.”
Dank farrik. He might not make it to the end of this storm. The patient could crash much sooner than that. You gave Aayla a few orders to keep the man stable then pushed to stand. You caught Wynn’s attention and the woman drifted closer after helping a child with a small task. She gave you a warm smile, and you returned a skeptical one.
“Hi. So, I need a jacket, scarf, and some sunglasses.”
Wynn warned you against your idea, but you were dead set. You had no choice. So, ignoring her advice, you pressed on. You soaked the scarf in cold water then wrapped it a few times around your mouth and nose to use as a makeshift filter. The glasses would hopefully at least protect your eyes a little, and the jacket was to cover up the remainder of your skin. You were thankful you hadn’t worn shorts today. 
You had traveled to the back door to leave that way none of the ash would slip into the same room as the kids. It would take you 15 minutes to get to the clinic. It was now or never, you supposed.
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Din was furious. His temper running hotter than the volcanic ash whipping around him. As it turned out, his helmet would keep out the dangerous conditions surrounding him. Grogu’s teacher had reached out to him to let him know that you had traveled out into the storm to reach a patient. She had done so to ensure that someone else was aware of the situation. Din had thanked her before rushing out himself. 
He asked one thing of you today. One. 
He just wanted you to stay inside the kriffing school with Grogu. It wasn’t asking a lot considering the literal fire and ash raining outside. It was common sense for someone to stay inside. Din was literally just asking you to follow common human survival instincts, yet you still left. You left, not protected in beskar as he was, but rather dressed in a wet scarf and jacket. As if that was going to help a karking thing.
Din tried to hail you over the communicator but it never got through. He told himself it was because of the storm. If even a little ash got into the communicator it’d glitch. That had to be it. Din refused to believe anything could have happened to you. Still, fear mingled with his rage, but he chose to ignore that for the time being.
Black and gray wind swirled around him, whipping his cloak in every direction, as flickers of burning ash drifted in the air. It was so thick that he could barely see a few feet in front of him. If he wasn’t careful, he could step right over you on accident and not even know it. The thick ash was beginning to settle on the ground in thick piles like the snow of Hoth. When he reached the clinic doors, he saw the metal shutters were down. Din didn’t hesitate to slam his hand against the metal as hard as he could.
If nobody opened the door soon he’d break through the shutters. Sure, ash would collect in the clinic lobby, but he’d deal with that problem later. Luckily for everyone, the shudders cracked open and Din quickly slipped through. Miriam, the new girl, had opened the door for him. Din didn’t mean to blow her off, but he sped past her. She was clever enough to open the second set of doors without him having to have asked. 
Inside the room, were a few people sitting on the cots or against the wall with a pink paste rubbed into splotches on their skin. Aayla stood in front of an older man who was struggling to breathe. A nebulizer, the same kind of machine that blasted a mist of medicine for Grogu, was being held up in front of his mouth.
“Where the kriff is she?” Din snapped.
Aayla nervously stiffened in place. She pointed out of the room, “There’s a small break room down the hall. She’s⏤She’s in there.” Din spun to leave, but Aalya called out to him. He nearly ignored her until she spoke again. “I think she’s more injured than she lets on. There’s some leftover pink paste from the last batch for her skin burns. Right now, she’s using the other nebulizer.”
Din huffed out a small thanks before snatching the jar off a side table and following her instructions out of the room. He wasn’t familiar with the back halls of the clinic, but he didn’t need any more clues to find you. Halfway down the hall he could hear a barking cough. Din picked up his pace then threw the break room door open hard enough that it slammed into the wall.
You startled where you were sitting at a table with a nebulizer mask held in front of your face. Your eyes widened in surprise and you opened your mouth to begin to say his name only for you to begin coughing violently. Just for a moment, his anger subsided. Din hurried over and set a hand on your shoulder to evaluate your injuries.
“Injuries. What’s wrong?”
“Just⏤ Just some burns.” Your voice was hoarse. “Worst of it⏤,” You began to cough again, “Lungs. In my lungs. Medicine will help.”
You took a few more deep breaths of the nebulizer and Din let his eyes trace your exposed skin. There were patches of mildly burned skin on your hands and on your forehead and upper cheeks. The pattern made it clear to see the shape of the sunglasses you had worn. Din tore off his glove and threw it aside rougher than he intended. Your eyes widened but you didn’t say anything. Din dug his fingers into the paste and began to rub it over every single burn he could see on you⏤ no matter how small. 
When he was appeased that he got every single injury, Din shoved the jar aside angrily and huffed, “Are you out of your damn mind?”
“No.” You replied. Your voice already sounding better. “It’s not like I had a choice.”
“Excuse me?” Din narrowed his eyes at you.
“I had a patient who needed me.” You shrugged. Then, you had the audacity to roll your eyes and mutter under your breath, “Just relax, Din.”
Din pushed to stand so fast that the chair he sat in went sprawling back and you jumped at the sound. He set his hands on the table and leaned toward you. “Relax? Did you just tell me to kriffing relax??” You stared at him silently, and Din took a step back with a shake of his head. He scoffed. “Relax.” Din felt his blood boiling under his skin. “Bic ni skana'din.”
“Din⏤”
“No.” Din snapped. “You’re going to sit there, and you’re going to listen to me.” He leaned in once more. “You wanted me angry? Well, now I’m angry! Dank farrik! What the kriff were you thinking!? I told you to stay in the school. I made myself very clear.” He slammed a hand down onto the table in frustration. “Do you realize how badly that could’ve ended?!”
You set down the nebulizer mask, “Din, I had to⏤”
He reached out to snatch the mask from the table where you set it and forced it back into your hand. Din shoved your hand up so it was holding the mask by your mouth once more. “No, you didn’t. Those patients look fine in there.”
“The old man wasn’t.” You snapped back with a glare of your own. “He might not have made it till the end of the storm.”
“Was there a chance he could’ve?”
“I mean, I guess, but there was just as equal of a chance that he wouldn’t. I⏤”
“Then that’s the risk that gets made.” Din yelled. “You don’t risk your life like that ever again. Do you hear me!?”
“I’m a physician!” You cried. “What would you have me do, Din? Risk him dying⏤”
“Yes.” Din reached out and wrapped his hand gently on the side of your face. Din was breathing hard, his rage making him shake, but he kept his touch soft as he forced you to face him. “That’s exactly what I would have you do. I don’t give two shits about him, but you I can’t live without, ner kar’ta. Is that not clear to you!?” 
You shook your head. “You don’t mean that. You wouldn’t risk him dying.”
“Wouldn’t I?” Din let out a harsh laugh. He wouldn’t risk one of the citizens of his city dying. In your shoes, he probably would’ve done the same thing⏤ but that wasn’t the point. Din sucked in a sharp breath trying to get back to the point he was making. “If I tell you to stay put, in order to keep you safe, you will listen to me. Do you understand?” Your eyebrows furrowed deeper and Din understood the immediate distaste for his words, but he didn’t care. “I said, do you kriffing understand?”
The nebulizer stopped on it’s own and you tossed aside the mask before standing up with a scoff, “I understand, but I’m not promising you I won’t do the exact same thing again.” You tried to walk around the table, out of his reach, but Din mirrored your movements and met you on the other side to block you in. You shook your head. “This is my job. Helping people is what I do. I’m not going to put people at risk just because you don’t trust me to be competent enough to succeed.”
Maker, you were the most frustrating woman⏤ Din’s hands found his hips as he leaned into your space. “You think it’s a trust thing?” He barked out an angry laugh. “All it takes is one mistake, one miscalculated step, and that’s it. It’s not about competence or about trust. It’s about gambling, and I’m not going to let you gamble your life away for a stranger.”
“As if you’ve never gambled your life for a stranger before?? I highly doubt that.” You spat. “Din, you’re a good man and if you think⏤”
“No.”
You narrowed your eyes. “What?”
“I said, no. I’m not.” Din said through clenched teeth. You were going to be the death of him. He was vibrating with frustration. Fear grabbed control of him at the realization that this was who you were. You were good, to your core, and this was going to keep happening. It was clear on your face that you didn’t believe his words. You weren’t getting this, and Din wasn’t good enough with words to get you to. Resolution settled in his mind, determination, and his next words came out in a low growl. “Close your eyes.”
You blinked almost owlishly. “Huh?”
“Close your eyes, ner kar’ta.” Din demanded, his hands traveling to his helmet without pause. Your eyes widened in alarm before shutting tight. It scrunched your features up. Din tore his helmet off and slammed it onto the table before closing the space between the two of you.
Din had never kissed someone before, which seemed ridiculous considering the other acts he had performed, but the idea of it seemed easy enough. His hands found your jaw and he tilted your head up enough that he could press his lips firmly against yours. Din held them there until he felt your entire body slowly relax. He pulled back just a bit and opened his eyes to see your features had softened though your eyes remained closed. Din’s nose brushed against yours, unable to bring himself to pull away from you any further. He mumbled the next words out, exhausted, but tightened his grip around your face in hopes to get his message across loud and clear, “I am not a good man. I’m a selfish man, and there is nothing I wouldn’t do⏤ no line I wouldn’t cross⏤ to keep you and Grogu safe.” Din leaned his forehead against yours and sighed. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I kissed you without asking permission. I just… Ner kar’ta, I cannot lose you and I didn’t know how to…”
“It’s okay.” You mumbled. “I‘ll forgive you on one condition.”
“And that is?”
“Kiss me again.” You breathed. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling yourself up to your toes, and Din didn’t hesitate to meet you halfway. His lips pressed against yours once more, but this time it wasn't so simple. It was messy, for lack of a better word. Your lips moved against his, furiously, and Din mimicked every action. It was as if the anger of your argument had shifted and transformed into this moment right here. Teeth clashing against teeth, tongue pressing against tongue. The kiss was desperate and felt like a battle. You versus him in a competition to devour the other, and Din was never one to back away from a challenge. 
He hooked his arms under your legs, lifting and turning, so he could set you on the table. Din’s hands shoved aside the nebulizer machine that sat in the way and he heard the device clatter against the tile floor. He’d buy the clinic a new one. Din pressed into you forcing you to either catch yourself by reaching back or continue clinging to him. You chose to keep your arms around his neck, wrapping around even tighter, and Din had to readjust and wrap his arms around your waist to keep you both from collapsing onto the table.
Din took a chance by nipping on your lower lip and the moan that left you was the perfect reward. He licked into your open mouth, a similar action you had done to him, and it deepened the kiss once more. Finally, breathlessly, Din was forced to pull back just enough to get air. You were panting as well⏤ the only sound in the room being the heavy breaths you shared between one another and the howling storm outside.
“I’m sorry I forgot to pick up Grogu.” You said and the disappointment in your whispered words made his chest ache. “I’m sorry I left last night instead of staying to talk. I’m sorry for yelling at you this morning.”
“No, I’m sorry.” Din replied. “All of this could’ve been avoided if I had just told you about Mandalore. I also promise to get more angry at you if you promise it’ll always end like this.” The soft, breathy laugh that left your lips was like a reassuring melody. You were safe. You were in his arms. You were okay. Din let out a breath of relief. “Ner kar’ta…”
You tilted your mouth against his to let a soft kiss linger against his. The exact opposite of the kind of kiss the two of you had shared. You sighed, “Why did it have to come to this? Why wouldn't you just admit you were upset with me?”
“I… I was worried about scaring you away if I lost my temper.” He admitted. “Things felt so good between us, so perfect, I didn’t want to ruin it.”
“Telling me how you really feel is never going to ruin anything, Din. I want that. I want to know what you’re thinking.” You replied. “Fighting isn’t always a bad thing.”
Din pressed his lips softly against yours once⏤ twice⏤ three times. “I can see that.” Maker, maybe taking his helmet off was a bad idea. After getting to feel your lips against his it was going to be twice as difficult to maintain his control. “I need to put my helmet back on, ner kar’ta.”
You chuckled and set a soft kiss against his cheek before releasing him. Din took one more second to stare at you, unhindered by his visor, and he loved the way your lips were swollen from his. He grabbed his helmet and tugged it back on. When it was back in place he let you know. It was cute the way you peeked out of only one eye, just in case, before letting both open. 
“I think I’m ready to talk about Mandalore now.” You shrugged. “Unless, you have something better to talk about?”
Din chuckled and gave you a small shrug. “We can talk about how you were my first kiss, if you’d like.”
“I am?” Your eyes widened. “Seriously?” He nervously gave you a small nod⏤ face burning under his helmet. “Oh man, I am so sorry. If I had know I would’ve⏤ would’ve⏤ I don’t know. Been gentler?” Din laughed at the concern drawn all over your face. Your lips twitched up but you gave him a small shove. “I’m serious! Maker, I was basically going for your tonsils…”
Din lifted a hand to hold your chin. “I’m not complaining.” He leaned his cold forehead against yours. “And by the way, I am proud of you. I’m so proud of everything you do. I… Can you promise to at least call me before you do something risky?”
“Yeah.” You nodded. “I can promise that.”
Din would take the victory where he could.
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mando'a translations:
Nuhoy morut'yc, adi’ka
Sleep safe, little one.
Ni aalar sha yaim ti gar
I feel at home with you.  
Nuhoy morut’yc, ner kar’ta.
Sleep safe, my heart.
Bic ni skana'din.
Expression of being angry or repelled, i.e. ‘that really ticks me off’
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girlboybug · 1 year
Note
writing request for a smut fic with established relationship with javi x reader? dialogue prompt: javi: “he looked at you funny” reader: “i didn’t know you were the jealous type..”
OOO i like this muahaha >:) i hope you enjoy hehe, thank u for requesting!! <3
art deco
"shining like gunmetal, cold and unsure. baby you're so ghetto, you're lookin' to score."
or the one where jealousy happens to be a good look on javi.
what’s playing 🎧 : art deco by lana del rey
content warnings : SMUT, jealous!javi, blowjobs, face fucking, car sex, semi public sex (?), unprotected sex (extremely unwise w javi idk wtf he got goin on down there), creampie, breeding kink, dirty talk, themes of slut shaming, threats of exhibitionism, threats of restraints e.g cuffs, brat tamer!javi (been dying to write that)
trigger warnings : mentions/threats of gun usage, alcohol, both reader and javier are tipsy at best, if there is anything i missed pls lmk!
word count : 4k
a/n : im pulling SO MUCH out my ass w this bc i havent finished narcos and only rlly pay attention when pedro or boyd is on screen and even tho im half mexican my ass cannot speak spanish for the life of me teehee sorry yall
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you’re a bad actor. 
you’re also bad at lying and honestly, just generally bad at the things javier happens to be especially good at. 
but that’s okay, javier likes you like that. it’s refreshing, endearing, to be with someone who hasn’t gotten good at lying or pretending to be someone they’re not. and actually, he’s currently watching you fail at that right now. 
you’re at the bar, swirling around your drink that he bought for you, pretending to not notice the way he’s eyeing you from across the club. he thinks it's cute how you keep stealing glances at him, giggling to yourself whenever he catches you.
you two do this little song and dance every now and then, it keeps things exciting and fun, and you never have complaints about it. 
you pretend to be the single, bored girl sitting alone at the bar, and javier just so happens to swoop in, introducing himself as the man who’s been ordering drinks for you all night, ready to charm you into his bed for the night. it’s stupid when you say it out loud, but the way he fucks you when you do this little act makes it seem like the best goddamn idea he’s ever come up with.
it’s harmless fun between a couple, and the tension you two create throughout the night is always a recipe for mind blowing sex. however, it seems things are going a bit off script tonight. 
a man invites himself to the empty barstool beside you that was reserved for javier, but he’s oblivious to the little game you’re playing right now. “hi there,” he says, grinning, and you try your best to hold back a long sigh while you greet him back politely. 
javier’s hand tightens around the beer he’s got, wishing the neck of the bottle belonged to the man staring you down. he decides he’ll keep watch for awhile, he trusts you, and wants to see how this’ll play out, despite his patience already wearing dangerously thin.
“can i buy you another drink?” he asks, motioning towards the dwindling liquid in your glass. its not a difficult question, but the answer isn’t coming to you like it should be. 
you are playing the role of a single woman tonight, and you won’t let anything go further with this guy than receiving a free drink. 
eh. why not? 
“yeah, sure, thank you.” you smile back, and he hurriedly calls over the bartender, asking for two glasses of whatever it is you ordered. javier shifts in his seat, his jaw coming down harder than it was just a moment ago as he watches you share a drink with someone that isn’t him. 
javier follows his wandering eyes, how they trail up and down your figure, making it obvious he’s wondering what you’ve got on underneath.
javier wants to walk up to him to tell him how he knows what you’ve got under that dress, because he picked it out. 
god, this night fuckin’ sucks so far. 
“i noticed you for awhile now, what’re you doin’ here all alone?” he asks, and you get a little nervous with the way he gets closer to you. “i’m just waiting for my boyfriend to show up.” you answer, deciding the single woman role didn’t feel as fun anymore. 
“ahh, i see.” he replies, and you expect him to scoot farther from you, or better yet, leave. but much to your dismay, he stays. 
“it’s just,” he starts, and you glance down at your shoes, saying a silent prayer for him to get on with what he’s got to say before he leaves you alone for good. 
“you’ve been here for awhile now, you sure he’s comin’ honey?” he questions you, faux concern in his voice and you close your eyes for a moment to hide the way they roll at him.
“yeah, i’m sure.” you reply curtly. “how about i keep you some company while you wait for him then, how’s that sound?” he gets closer than you would’ve liked, boldly resting his arm around your shoulders, and yep, that’ll do it. 
javier’s beer clatters down onto his table as he shoots up from his seat, stalking over to you. he’s quick to join you, standing tall behind your seated figure, his strong chest a familiar surface against your back. 
“uh who’re you–” 
“her boyfriend.” he answers, eyes lowered testingly, practically itching for him to give him a reason to swing. “hi baby,” you beam, turning around and craning your neck up to give him a kiss. he leans down, holding your chin while he kisses you. 
with your lips still connected, he stares at the scoffing man that just sits and watches. 
“yeah well i wasn’t the one who kept her waiting all night so why don’t you get lost? we were havin’ a conversation, weren’t we sweetheart?” he looks at you as if you’d actually agree, and you open your mouth to defend javier, but he doesn’t need you to, he’s more than eager to put this guy back in his place. 
he steps away from behind your back, moving right in front of you now, leaning in close to the man. he reaches around to his lower back, sliding his gun to the side of his waist before he’s got it in his clutch, pressing it to the man’s ribs.
“you have 3 seconds to get the fuck out my face before i stop being so polite.” he whispers in his ear, and the man stiffens with immediate fear once he registers what’s being pointed at him. 
he swivels out of the stool, hastily hopping out to make his way out the club all together. javier turns back to you once he’s out of his field of vision, expecting a profuse thank you javi, but he gets quite the opposite. 
“what the hell was that?” you question, sounding angry, and uh oh, you saw that. 
“baby,” he starts off but you just huff, climbing off the stool. “that was way too far,” you point at him and he sighs, holding your arms, rubbing them up and down, trying to settle your irritation down. 
“but he was making you uncomfortable, and you didn’t see the way he was looking at you–” 
“and what way was he looking at me for you to pull a gun out on him?” you whisper yell and he starts to join you in your frustration. 
“he looked at you…funny, like he was just thinking about fucking you the entire time.” he sounds upset that he even has to explain himself to you about this, and you catch it, deciding to throw it back at him when you turn on your heel to leave. 
he growls with annoyance as he follows you out the club, grabbing your arm and forcing you to turn back and look at him.
you exhale sharply, looking up at him, switching your weight onto your left foot. “i knew you could be a little…impulsive sometimes but jesus jav, i didn’t realize you were the jealous type that would do something so…stupid.”
his annoyance is fast to turn into a hard glare, and you see the sudden shift, instantly feeling regretful. he purses his lips to the side, laughing dryly. “stupid huh?” he clicks his tongue and you shake your head, walking closer to him now.
“javi, i’m sorry,” you try to remedy the mess of this situation, but unlucky for you, what little patience he was holding onto is now gone. 
he grabs the hand of yours that’s reaching towards his jaw, he isn’t in the mood for it. he pulls you along by your wrist to the parking lot. 
“yeah, you’re about to be baby,” he mutters, and your heart picks up, your heel clad feet in turn picking up speed to keep up with him. 
he ushers you into his backseat, slamming the door behind you once you’re both in. he tugs you into his lap, your legs on either side of him, your knees making contact with the cold vinyl. his hands find their way to your ass, squeezing it hard.
you gasp a little, arching into his chest. the second you move in closer, his lips are on your’s. it’s not gentle, it’s not slow paced, and it’s not soft, no, that’s for when you’re good. and you’ve been anything but. 
you’re grinding in his lap, his growing bulge feels perfect right up against your dampening panty clad cunt, too perfect that you can’t stop yourself. you’re moaning in his mouth, struggling to keep up the pace and intensity in the way his lips are moving with your’s. 
he tastes like beer and cigarettes, smells like it too, with traces of his cologne that you love. he’s like paradise incarnate and you want to live in him forever. 
when he pulls away you're left panting in his hold, lips parted, brushing against each other, stealing the other person’s breaths. “you know,” he sighs lowly, his words trailing up your spine, leaving shivers in their wake. 
“just because i let you pretend you’re single for the night doesn’t mean you actually are,” he says, and he sounds serious, but there’s something hidden in his air, something challenging, like he wants you to argue just so he can put you right back where you belong. 
you nod heavily like he speaks words of righteousness, cupping his jaw in your hands. “i know javi, i know,” you pepper his face in kisses, but he remains still, outwardly unphased.
“guess you just got too excited at the thought of bein’ a slut huh?” he breathes out flicking a brow at you, keeping you in close when you try to inch away from him at his accusations. 
“i’m not a slut–” he unfolds your offended arms, hands leaving your wrists to hold your thighs that rest on either side of his lap. “no baby it’s alright, s’not a totally bad thing. i like sluts. they let you do whatever you want to ‘em,” he grips your thighs, forcefully sliding you off his lap and letting you land down on your knees before him. you gasp, holding onto his legs for steadiness. 
“and they let you all while tryin’ to convince you they aren’t sluts. isn’t that funny? he chuckles, caressing your cheek, peering down at you while he does so. 
“javi,” you say, you don’t know what to say next, the only certainty that remains is that his name never sounds wrong coming from you. 
“if you wanna be a slut so bad then go ahead, i won’t stop you.” he shrugs, leaning back into the seat, arms stretched out beside him. you swallow away your stuttering, running your hands up and down your thighs. “what do you want me to do?” you ask smally, looking up at him from under your lashes. 
he readjusts, lifting his hips in the air, settling back down closer to you. he tilts his head, eyes flickering from his crotch back to your gaze, “what sluts do best baby.” he says under a gravelly breath. your thighs close just a little tighter at that, feeling eager to oblige to his insinuations. 
you unzip his levi’s, unbuttoning them before you’re pulling him from out his boxers, throat getting tight at the way he pulses in your hands. precum is already beading at his tip, and you lean forward, flicking your tongue over it. he hisses quietly, a hand coming behind your neck. 
your lips envelope the tip, shutting your eyes when you trail down until you can’t take any more of him down your throat. he groans, throwing his head back, bucking his hips into your mouth. you gag around him, hand trembling while you try to jerk off what you can’t fit into your mouth. 
he rolls his head forward, holding you by the back of your head, starting to thrust further in, chuckling to himself at the way you gag. he lets you slide off him, jerking his slick cock off while you catch your breath. 
you’re staring at each other in the thick air, the night breeze sneaking in from the cracked windows, making your nipples perk from behind your lacy bra. 
the moon glimmers through the side window facing javier, and it panels his cheekbone, across his jaw and down his chin, trickling over the curve of his collarbones. 
he looks so beautiful like this, sitting tall in front of you, looking at you like he could tear you apart with one hand, jaw clenching when your thumb slides over the head of his cock. 
the way he’s looking at you elicits a reaction from your body before your mind can reach it. you lean back down, taking him deeper into your mouth. 
you don’t mind the way he keeps your head still, using your mouth the way he likes. 
he fucks your mouth like he wants to prove a point, and at this moment he doesn’t even know what the point is, he hardly even remembers where he’s currently at, the only thing that makes sense is how fucking good you’re taking him down your throat. 
you’re being so good, so perfectly compliant for him, and what’s fueling you is the tingles exploding between your thighs at the way he’s using you. 
the grunting utterances of your name in his spewing breaths adds propellent to the roaring fire building in your lower tummy. 
his groans get a little airier, picking up in quantity, coming out one after the other, fucking your mouth so deep your nose brushes against the brown curls sitting just above his cock. “look at me,” he instructs through gritted teeth, and you listen, blinking away your teary eyes to look up at him. 
he sends one, two, three, hard thrusts into your mouth before he pulls out, resting the tip over your lips. he pants to himself, shutting his eyes closed while you take this time to do the same and catch your own breath. “what’s wrong?” you sound a little rasped, and he can’t fight the smug look on his face at your voice. 
“as much as i’d like to let you continue, i got better things planned baby,” he chuckles breathlessly, pulling you back up into his lap. 
he pushes your dress up, exhaling when he sees how wet you are in the panties he picked out for you. “javi, i didn’t bring any condoms, do you have one?” you press your hands to his chest, momentarily halting him, and he looks at you, scoffing quietly. 
“huh. sluts don’t usually care about that kinda thing.” he rubs the head of his cock over your clothed clit, watching your lowered eyes fully shut, a moan slipping out at his ministrations, proving him right. “s’not gonna fit like this,” your whimper when he moves your panties to the side, flicking himself up and down your folds. “it will baby, i’ll make it fit.” he promises, pressing a kiss to your lips.
you rarely ever got on top, he was always very adamant about taking care of you, whether that means you’re on your back, legs thrown over his shoulders or you with your wrists being hoisted by his tight grip while he fucks you senseless.
the constant is, he’s always on top. 
he’s big, no matter the position he’s got you in, it’s always a stretch he has to ease you into. which is why you’re typically reluctant to get on top, but right now he isn’t asking, he’s telling. 
“javi, s’not gonna go in like this,” you whimper nervously, curling into his chest. head on his shoulder. he rolls his eyes, fingers gliding right over your clit to shut you up. and it works, naturally, he chuckles. 
your breath gets faster when he swirls over your clit with his fingers, squirming around in his lap. he holds himself from the base of his cock, circling over your fluttering hole. your arms wrap around his broad shoulders, fingers playing with the back of his hair. 
he starts crowning into you, pushing in the fat head of his cock, pausing the breath in the middle of your throat. it rumbles out as a pained moan when he continues pushing in. “god javi,” you whine, legs on either side of him flexing with nerves at the intrusion. 
“doin’ all the work for you baby, jus’ take it for me,” he mutters in your ear, his mustache tickling your jaw while he rubs your clit to ease you into it.
“actin’ like i haven’t fucked this pussy before, know you can handle it, sè una niña grande para mí,” he murmurs, kissing your cheek, and you melt, nodding desperately. “i am,” you mumble, bracing yourself for when he bottoms out inside you. he thrusts upward, holding you by the fat your ass, pulling you down onto him. 
the air is knocked out your lungs, and all you can do is hold on to his leather clad shoulders for dear life. your hips start moving in sync, rolling into each other, and you feel insane, it feels so good, you start thinking maybe you’ll do this more often.
the sting from the stretch subsides soon, but the feeling of being full stays, and you keep it, loving how good it feels. the head of his cock nudges deep inside you, bobbing up into your throat and you fall apart, fucking yourself on him, addicted to the way he hits every little spot inside you that you need. 
you’re moaning, panting loudly in his ear, and he eats every single one of them up, gripping your hips when he guides you down onto him. kisses lay wetly across the side of his neck, teeth graze over his ear, praises of how fucking big he is, and how good he feels inside you, relay to him over and over, making his cock twitch when he picks up the pace in his thrusts. 
“you’re so nice while i fuck you baby, maybe this is how i should shut you up more often huh?” he teases, but you don’t care, you’d start arguments with him if it meant he’d always feel this good in you. 
“in so deep,” you whimper more to yourself but he hears you, he hears it all. he hears how fucking soaked you are around him, hears every little breath, every little moan that comes out of you. 
he smacks over your ass, chuckling to himself when you whine and clamp down around him. “maybe i should go find that guy huh?” he leans forward, lips on your shoulder when he ruts up into you deeper, right there to hold you closer when you keen into him at the hard thrust.
“ ‘should find him and fuck you in front of him, show him how its done, what do you think of that baby?” he grunts, hands tightening over your hips. 
you just moan, babbling something incoherent when you grind down onto him, his words acting as a lighter underneath the growing flame while you bounce on him. you squeeze around him, your body unashamed of how much you like the idea of such a dirty act. 
he feels the way you clamp down around him, chuckling breathlessly, his hand traveling behind your neck to force you to look at him. “or maybe it’s you who’d like that,” he taunts, expecting a shy shake of your head, but you just nod, trying to meet his thrusts. "i'll do whatever you want javi," you whimper pathetically, and god, that does something to him. 
"know you will, so sweet baby," he groans, leaning back to watch where you both meet, loving the sight of his cock entering and disappearing into your cunt. 
you tug at the hair from the back of his head, messily kissing all over his jaw and cheek, and he takes it all, adoring how clingy you are with him right now. he pulls the front of your dress down, hooking his fingers under the cups of your bra and groaning to himself when he sees your tits, pretty and pert under the bra, he of course, picked out for you. 
black see-through lace, his favorite. 
"gonna be the death of me, mi vida," he murmurs to himself, latching his hot eager mouth over them. he assaults the soft skin with his tongue, teeth grazing over your sensitive nipples, a smirk forming around the flesh when he teases the ghost of a bite, wanting to laugh when you squirm and arch your back at his actions. 
his fingers find their place back to your clit, rubbing over the nerves like clockwork, syncing the way you bounce on him with harder thrusts, making the pleasure surrounding you inescapable. 
breathing is getting harder, but it feels unimportant, everything does when it comes to javi. in this moment if he told you to stop breathing altogether you honestly just might listen to him. 
but it's so much so soon, and you want to hold onto the moment for as long as you can, enjoy each stroke of his cock deep inside you longer, and if he keeps touching you like this, you know you won't last. you paw at his hand, trying to push the relentless wrist away. "no more javi, m'gonna cum too fast please," you whimper, but he doesn't agree. you're finished when he's finished. 
"do i need to cuff you to the headrest or are you gonna keep those hands to yourself?" he spits, sounding harsh, sounding serious. you whine like a wounded puppy, shaking that empty little head of yours. 
"but javi," he grabs your chin, guiding your gaze downward when he moves his jacket to the side, revealing the cuffs that hang from his belt loops. "think i'm kiddin'? hands to yourself or around me. otherwise you get these. your choice," he's still inside you, and you can't take it, you throw your arms around him, hugging him close while trying to get him to move again. 
"gonna be good, gonna listen, m'sorry, please move javi, please?" 
he senses your desperation, and gives in, continuing his thrusts. you sigh in relief, following the way his hips piston up into you with your own. 
"can i touch you?" you whisper, unsure if you're allowed to, but javier relents, nodding with a kiss to your neck. you slide his jacket off eagerly, quickly unbuttoning his shirt before your hands are running along the warm skin of his shoulders, squeezing them when he thrusts right there. 
your hands drag down his chest, nails lightly digging into his tanned skin when your head falls back, rising and falling up and down on his cock. his mouth is on you again, tongue swirling over the curve of your chest, gripping them roughly in his wide palms. 
he watches you from this view, how you lose yourself when he's got his cock in you, and he thinks maybe he should have encouraged you to ride him earlier. 
he's getting close, watching you has only pulled him closer to the end, his cock twitching the more he imagines how good you'd look dripping in his cum. he imagines your trembling thighs being parted by his hands, your abused hole just leaking and leaking from his cum. 
"m'close, gonna let me finish inside mi vida?" he grunts, and you nod heavily, clamping harder down around him when he asks. "please, please javi," you beg, and who is he to deny you? 
his fingers run around your clit once more, those tight circles from the pads of his fingers bring you right there alongside with him, moaning his name in an incomprehensible voice while his face rests in the crook of your neck, bouncing you on top of him. 
"always wanted to cum in you baby, always wanted to fill you up nice an' good —fuck—, make you fuckin' full of me, just know you'd look so fuckin' good just drippin– shit," you're squeezing him like you never have before, his confessions, the ferver in the way he fucks you is just too much, your body acts before you can even process what’s happening. 
you cum all around his cock, and the pulsing of your walls, the whimpers of his name from your pretty lips is all he needs to join you in your blinding orgasm. he's cumming inside you, grunting your name and how fuckin' good you are for him, his mouth hot on your neck while he fucks you through your shared orgasms. 
he doesn't let up on your clit until the pleasure bleeds into pain, and you can't take it. with heavy breaths you collapse in his arms, panting like you've just ran a marathon, sweaty forehead resting on the cool leather of the seat. 
he gently shifts your hips backward, looking down at his cum that pours out of you. he likes the mess, likes how your cunt looks when he rubs his cum across your throbbing clit, you jump at the stimulation, begging him in a tired voice, no more javi. 
he listens, taking sympathy on your spent body. he puts your panties back over you, tucking himself away before he repositions you so you're properly sitting in his lap, letting your legs stretch across the rest of the backseat. 
"you okay mi bebita?" he murmurs softly, and you hum a sleepy yes, still buzzing from your orgasm. "still mad?" he asks jokingly, pulling a hazy giggle from you.
“i think you just fucked any anger i had left out of me." he laughs proudly at that, rubbing your back. "yeah? maybe that's how we should settle all our fights then." 
599 notes · View notes
atxxzist · 1 year
Text
with a touch of sweetness | c.s
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pairing: choi san x f!reader
summary: working at a cafe, you have to deal with a certain customer with dimples who always like his iced coffee extra sweet
genre: fluff, slight angst?
word count: 2.6k
a/n: i should be using this time to write my series but this idea came to me at 1am and i couldn't stop myself sdjskdssfkf
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friendly brew
the font isn't too eyecatching, the style is a little bland, and the size of the cafe isn't ideal. but it's right next to a big and bustling university--attracting a lot of customers.
usually young, sleep-deprived college students, but it does well in business despite its shortcomings; a couple regulars who are very loyal, they frequent the place so often, you've come to match names to faces, as well as their usuals.
especially, choi san.
your face drops when you see it's him, trying to reframe from an eye roll as you go to tap the screen, mumbling in such an unenthusiastic tone, "one iced coffee?"
"yes please. and with extra vanilla syrup, please."
you don't say anything, a huff under your breath because you don't know why he always want his extra sweet. the regular one is already too sweet, in your honest opinion.
"thank you, angel."
"don't call me that," you snap quietly, pinching your brows together.
"why not?" his mouth draws a straight line before leaning closer to the counter and settling his arms on it, a smile eventually blossoming on his handsome face that makes those stupid dimples pop out. "you really are one, though. you always make my coffee the way i like it."
"because that's my job," you reply, going on to scribble his name on an empty cup before turning around to scoop up some ice for the drink.
after pouring the brewed coffee onto the cup of ice and milk, not forgetting the extra vanilla syrup as he requested, you place the finished product on the counter again before slapping a lid over it.
"well, then how come yoojung and kangmin never makes it the way i like it?"
you shrug, scooting the drink his direction.
"maybe they just don't like you? i mean, can you blame them?" you try to be snarky, but instead pretty much walked yourself into his trap.
"so... does this mean you like me?" he smirks, the retort immediately whisking your breath away. "because i swear..." he picks up the cup and takes a sip, your eyes innappropriately trailing to his adam's apple before he puts it down again to glare at you.
"you always make it the sweetest." he smiles softly and you hate how your heart dances around in your chest; hate the look in his eyes, and hate how much--
"you haven't even paid for it," you change the subject, trying the very best to hide the effect he has on you because god knows how smug he'll be if he finds out you're also just very good at putting on a performance.
he giggles and searches his pockets, pulling out a ten dollar bill and placing it on the counter.
"keep the change."
he grabs the drink and downs another sip, uttering in that usual sly tone, "thank you again, angel."
the wink before he fully exits is the last thing that does you in. he's so annoying, but like every other times, you can't help but to look forward to his next appearance.
ever since you got hired six months ago, having been a replacement for an older lady who had quit, there's not a single monday, wednesday, or friday that you do not see him. those are the days he comes in.
the boy having sparked an interest in you shortly after the first encounter, finding out the mean ahjumma who never made his drinks the way he likes it--it was always either too bitter or had too much milk--have been replaced by a girl about his age with a pretty smile, and who always makes his drinks exactly the way he prefers it.
"you know, angel, maybe someday, you'll finally draw some hearts around my name," san remarks, observing his name written plainly on the cup.
a dry chuckle tumbles out of you.
"you should be grateful i even wrote your name when i really wanted to put dickhead instead."
he frowns, placing his free hand over his chest and pretends to be in pain.
"ouch. i thought this was friendly brew? you're not being very friendly right now."
your interactions with him typically plays out like that, always with the small banters and playful exchanges; your harsh words and dismissive behaviors countering his that are the complete opposite.
but whenever you hear the bell to the door clink and you see it's him, the butterflies in your stomach along with the tiniest smile that graces your lips always prove otherwise.
"what other names to substitute instead of dickhead? maybe pervert? creep? nuisance?" you cock an eyebrow.
"okay now, that is a reach. i just really really like you."
there's a short silence that befalls when he says that, your eyelashes blinking and the quietest gulp traveling down your throat.
"san, don't say things you don't mean."
"who said i don't mean it?"
"but... i'm mean to you."
his lips quirks to the side, his shoulders shrugging and not moved in the slightest from your statement.
"i don't mind."
"and also, i can't even stand you."
"even better. i love a challenge."
you roll your eyes, bouts of giggles suddenly appearing from behind, turning around and seeing yoojung and kangmin straightening up immediately as if they weren't prying on your conversation with the boy who you have already denied having a crush on.
you absolutely do not like san. not at all.
you just get a little giddy at the sight of him, and lately, you've developed a knack for listening to stories about how his day at campus went, although you always act like you don't care.
and sometimes--not often--but sometimes, your stomach will churn in the weirdest way whenever he'll talk about his female classmates; the worst being when he actually comes with one of them, her eyes full of admiration and his with something you can't quite read but still effective in invoking that pang of jealousy you're in denial of.
but something else so consistent about him aside from his flirty tactics, is the smile on his face never falters. you don't think you can ever recalll a single time he didn't walk into the shop with that idiotic grin.
which is why you know something is off the minute he comes up to the counter and a rather sullen look is his current expression.
"one iced coffee?" you're the one to speak up, and he nods in return, the silence from him is almost too out of character.
he doesn't even seem to be paying much attention when you go on to write his name, his mind seemingly elsewhere, so you take the chance to grab a sticky note to write something on it, sticking it on the cup when finished.
"one iced coffee with extra vanilla syrup."
he fiddles with the pockets of his jacket and gives you eight dollars to be exact. you remember asking him why he would sometimes give more than the cost and he told you it was for the 'service'.
yoojung and kangmin has assured you they never got tipped for their 'service' before.
he picks the drink up and shoots you one last smile, mumbling, "thank you, angel."
you have to remind yourself that san isn't just the cute annoying guy who would always hit on you every time he comes in for his coffee. that he has a life outside of conjuring up butterflies and pestering you, he's going to have bad days and you shouldn't overthink so much.
next time he comes in, it will be with that idiotic grin alongside those pleas that's become a permanent residency in your head.
except... he doesn't.
not this wednesday and not the following friday.
you see wooyoung the next monday, recognizing him as san's friend the few times he came with him to grab a cup of americano.
it's a constant battle whether you should or should not ask about his friend who'd usually pay you weekly visits, but now all of a sudden dropping off the face of earth.
eventually, you settle for should not, bidding wooyoung the customary parting; a melancholy feeling brewing when there's no sight of the black-haired boy with sharp eyes and dimples on wednesday, as well.
it's a known, rather unspoken fact that you always look forward to the showing of san, no matter how pestering and annoying he is with his attempts that makes you want to roll your eyes all the way to back of your head, the small ten to fifteen minutes exchange you'd have with him were always the highlight of your shift.
if he has given up or found someone else who makes his coffee even better, you think it'd be nice to get a proper notice at least.
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friday shifts are usually your favorite because there's no tedious routine you have to follow, like commuting from class a good couple minutes away; you get to rest on the weekend after, and you start early, so you get out early, allowing the remaining of the day to be spent however you'd like.
the hour and a half left before you get to clock out is slow, the counters being wiped over and over again because you're trying to kill time, bending over and under to get spots you think you might have missed, when you hear the sound of footsteps approaching.
"welco--"
the word cuts short and the towel in your clutch drops onto the counter, your eyes only able to stare ahead in a starstruck gaze at the person before you, your heart doing laps but at the same time, there's a wave of relief that comes over.
"hi." san smiles, his messy black hair slightly falling over his eyes and the gray hoodie he's wearing clipped under his backpack makes him look like the college boyfriend you wish you had.
you swallow a knot, playing it cool.
"darn, i thought i finally got rid of you for good."
san chuckles... damn him for being so good looking.
"oh, i know you were miserable, yearning for that something that was missing from your everyday life."
"please..." you dismiss, actually hating how much truth it holds.
"you're not going to ask why i was gone?" he pouts.
you lowly sigh in annoyance, though the question has been plaguing your mind ever since his mysterious disappearance.
"okay... why were you gone?" you try to contain the tone, afraid you just might let the eagerness slip through.
"i was sick."
you raise an eyebrow in concern.
"oh... well... how are you now?"
his eyes swell innocently, genuinely surprised by the softer voice.
"a lot better now. thank you for asking, angel." he cracks a tiny smile.
oh, how you have come to miss such a nickname that used to raise your blood pressure just because you haven't heard it in over a week.
"i thought you have officially ran away or maybe you found a better shop."
he retracts with an offended scowl on his face.
"never. i would never do that to you."
you fight off a smile, quick to tap the screen and divert the subject.
"one iced coffee?"
"well, yes, but actually," he fidgets in his spot, "i was thinking if you want to uh... hang out after your shift?"
you look up from the screen to glare at him.
"huh?" you heard him, you just... want to make sure.
he's always flirted with you shamelessly, but actually asking you out is something he's never tried before. of course he's had a few impulses but have always reframed from acting on them, until now.
"i'm asking if you want to do something together. cause you know... just figured we can catch up. when you're done with your shift, of course."
the longest stare-off between you and him ensues shortly after, and you think for the first time, san might be growing shy.
you chuckle quietly, breaking the silence, and a smile blossoming on your lips.
"i get off in about an hour and a half."
"perfect. i'll come back then."
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you find san seated on a nearby bench when you're out, watching the way he whips his head side to side to admire the scenery.
"your coffee," you announce, your arm stretched out, and he snaps to you immediately, eyes scanning over your attire.
he's never seen you in anything other than your work uniform. he thinks you look even prettier with that sweater vest and pair of jeans. but then, you're always too pretty for your own good.
"extra sweet?" he asks, all playfully.
"extra sweet," you reply, taking the seat next to him and observe as he goes to confirm it.
"doesn't taste like it."
you scoff. "well, maybe you have officially lost your taste bud."
he hums and scoots even closer to you, the side of his leg touching yours.
"that would require more testing. maybe you can help? bet you taste sweeter than anything. i wonder how it would be, to kiss an angel."
an even louder scoff falls from you.
"don't flatter me. and i'm not kissing you."
he laughs and shakes his head.
"i'm not lying when i say that. i was honestly having such a shitty time, having been denied an internship i really wanted, only to get sick not even a day after."
the amusement on you is fast to dissipate, replaced by a look of sympathy.
"oh... was that why you looked so down that day?"
he smiles rather lightly.
"yeah. but it's whatever. i'll just try again next time or apply for a different one."
there's a moment of the birds chirping high in the sky and the sound of pedestrians walking until you speak again.
"sorry to hear..."
you feel bad for him, understanding the feeling all too well; like you're incompetent and not good enough. on top of that, he even got sick afterward.
"i always knew you cared about me," he says, breaking all the empathy bones in your body--you having to settle for a major eye roll.
"pfft."
"you know... when i sick, i always looked back to your note and it always made me feel a little better afterward despite quite literally dying in bed."
a sheer chuckle bubbles out of you at the confession.
"i don't believe you," you tell him.
he looks you straight in the eye and shakes his head, vouching for his honesty.
"i'm forreal. look, i even brought it with me today."
your eyebrows furrow together as you watch him search his hoodie with his free hand, pulling the familiar piece of paper out of one of the pockets, still able to comprehend the black ink you were responsible for.
i added just the littlest bit more of vanilla syrup bc you seemed a little down. not too much though bc i'm already worried abt ur glucose level. but hope u feel better soon.
"you're... crazy."
the temperature on your cheeks heats up like crazy, san witnessing them in action as they turn a bright shade of pink, unable to help the lovesick smile that breaks out on his face.
then another stare-off follows, the longest silence hanging between you two that both badly wants to break but too unsure how.
you take the opportunity to admire his features; his keen jawline, sharp eyes, and oh... the slit in between one of his eyebrows that makes him look extra attractive.
then your gaze travels to his lips. plumped, luscious, and just waiting to be taken in--and it must've been how you've been wanting to kiss him for so long now, that one second you're apart, and the next, your lips are stilled against his when you go to place a peck on them.
pulling away, you search him for a reaction; he's a bit dazed and stunned, until the corners of his mouth turns and a soft smile overtakes his expression.
"you really are an angel sent from heaven."
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ktchie · 8 months
Text
'It's the hope that kills you'
Ted Lasso x Reader
Fluff and Angst
♡ other tags: attempt at humour/ no proof read we die like Rupert should've / possible part two
♡6.1k words
◇ In which Y/n wanted to confessed and Ted has a pastel pink apron.
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•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°
She consider herself as a tough independent woman who rather die and be beheaded than show any ounce of feelings or a hint of affection.
Her therapist said it's because she grew up in a household that doesn't show much emotion or any vulnerability. And they're right, she remember the time she saw her Dad shed a tear on the night of her high-school graduation, hiding behind his hands and cool dad stance before abruptly going to the bathroom and staying there for 40 minutes - he came back with red eyes and a terrible pun joke. As if nothing had happened.
So it is perfectly understandable that she grew up hating vulnerability, choosing to stay rigid and emotionless rather to have her whole soul on the palm of her hand. It doest help either that she's the eldest kid, the pillar of her siblings, the one who lays awake at night thinking any and every problems her parents throw at her way, worrying about it to the point her chest hurt and she has to learn to calm panic attack in such a young age.
So that being said, she never really had the full experience of romance or being in a relationship. She flirted with a few men on her lives and had fucked them plenty of times but she never really did the whole holding hands thing and all that cheesy stuff that people always whined about once the clock hits 10 and loneliness hits you like a freight train.
But meeting Ted, meeting Ted makes her want to dive head first on whatever corny things couples do in this day of age. Whether it be kissing on the rain or robbing a bank at 2pm in a Sunday afternoon.
She stared at him from across her, sitting so patiently like an overgrown child with a cup of steaming hot coffee.
"Something you need, Ted?" Her tone of voice held nothing but pure professionalism that made her quietly hissed.
Ted looked at her with his big brown eyes that makes her heart all googoo gaga, she sometimes wonder if Ted is secretly part of some hidden government group because she swore that puppy eyes could stop a international fued.
"Oh you know, just wanna visit ya'" he stated with a cheeryness only he can produced in the morning, all dimple and wide smiles. "'been awhile since I saw you, thought you're actually avoiding me but boss said that you're six feet under with all the work you got goin' on"
She chuckled at his words "Ted, I don't think there's anything in this world that could keep me away from you" she answered with a subtle smile, if she wanted him she would get him, whether it be by words or thousand of prayers.
Ted looked at her silently, wide eye and a blossoming blush on his cheeks. He looks ethereal underneath the early morning sun, a fallen single strand of hair dangling on his forehead that makes her hand itch with yearn to fix it.
"But I have been awfully neglectful to the rest of you, haven't I?" She decided to move on from her flirting (?), she doesnt want Ted to dropped dead on the floor from all the blood on his head. "I've been busy these past few weeks, but Will told me about the team plan get together on Sam's restaurant. I'll make sure to attend it, even shoulder the payment if we can get Sam to give us the bill"
Ted nodded his head, tounge tied for once, some part of her rejoiced while the other part, the one who always fear rejection and if she's being too much or too stupid, fear for whatever friendship they have (or had, if worse comes to worse)
"I-well" he cleared his throat, looking at her through his weirdly long eyelashes that always made her tear up in awe and envy.
"We can uh' y'know, we can split the bill, don't hav'ta shoulder it all by yourself"
"No its alright" she shook her head, she contemplate touching his arms, feel the soft fabric of his awfully comfy looking sweater and the skin underneath it but she decided not to, Ted might freak the fuck out and leave the room yelling 'HR! HR!' And have her fired and be shamed by the rest of the Richmond community for touching their beloved American wanker. "Consider it as my payment for forgetting to visit the locker room"
"Wasn't your fault, anyway" he shrugged before gesturing to the tower of folders and impending blueprints for the upcoming renovations and building upgrades. "I mean take a look at that, the great mt. Everest would cry if he saw this monstrosity. Even looking at it makes my stomach all funky" he shudder at its sight. "Do you even take a break? Jeez."
She sighed and leaned back on her office chair "from time to time, 15 minutes or 5. I like to finish my work early so.."
Ted frowned, he has one of those upset looks that makes her heart clenched and crack little by little until it exploded on her chest and she has to pretend she wasn't in pain so he could view her as a normal human being and not a lovesick teenager. "Ya should take a better care of yourself, you can't just go 'n on 'n on workin' till you drop dead" if it's possible, his doe eyes turned even more sadder. " its not good for you"
She bit her lip, her thighs moving up and down underneath her desk. She never liked it when he's anything but happy. "I can go take a rest when I go home and take a rest some more once I finish of all this work. its fine, don't worry too much about me"
"How can I not worry about you?" Ted leaned in, sad eyes and furrow brows. "Youre my-" he sighed before he shake his head "heck, If I had known you're over 'ere slowly killin' yourself i would have yank you from your desk till you're screamin' and cryin'"
Screaming and crying huh? Oh she can do that, alright.
"Ted.." she sighed, trying her hardest to ease the furrow on his brows "its fine, im fine. Don't worry about me too much. there's another game coming up, thats what you should be focusing on yeah?"
Ted sighed deeply, leaning back on the chair before nodding. A lock of hair fell down on his forehead, perfect it was, and y/n thought he never looked more beautiful then. She wonder if Ted kept his hair perfectly gel all the time or if he had ever let his guard down on the four walls he had been forcely call his home.
She would love to see him just him, just Ted, with his goofy smiles and bad puns and old reference from a bad film made years before.
She would love to love him, flaws and imperfections and bad days. She would paint him beautifully, perfect at every stroke of her brush and no smudge of mistakes and yet she knows she still wouldn't do him justice. Ted is just too perfect, too lovely, too godly to be even be depicted on a rough white canvas of this wretched world. Ted deserves to be painted in the walls of the church, or at every thread of the clouds, he was meant to be seen and to be watched and to be memorize until his kindness and his generosity and smile are engraved deep within everyone's heart. Y/n wanted to worship Ted with utmost devotion that her mouth would utter prayers like a second breath, until her two pressed hands bleed and flowers grow between her palm.
She watched him sat across her, his gaze darting everywhere on the carpet before a smile slowly broke on his lips, eyes suddenly lighting up and whole body perking up.
"Hey" he looked up to her, grin and joyful gaze "guess what I cooked last night" he had said giddily
"if you get it right I might just have to take a peek on that ridiculous sitcom you've always buggin' me to watch"
She scoffed, offended. "Modern family is not ridiculous, it's the best thing that ever happened to television-"
"Now hol' up. You're gettin' ahead of yourself now, sugar" she pretended the pet name didnt make her stomach flip and twist and did all kinds of wwe wrestling stunt. 
"I'll have you know that you're wrong, there are tons of- you know what, I ain't even gonna argue with you because we're both too tired for this and I'm too excited to tell you what I cooked last night, so just guess, come on"
She squinted her eyes before sighing as she started to think. "Well, last time we spoke you wouldn't shut up about barbecue and kebab and that one burger that sounds like it could kill you from one sniff"
"Triple cheese burger with bacon crisp, 3 sunny side eggs and curly fries dipped in ranch and garlic sauce with side on-"
"Sounds awful. Americans and their ridiculous food, seriously how are you not dead yet?"
Ted had shrugged with a sickeningly sweet smile "have no idea, but its good 'n ya know what they say 'enjoy life while it lasted'"
"Curse that qoute for manipulating you, let's just pray you wouldn't drop dead in the middle of the court because we can't handle your decaying body and another lose at the same time"
"You betcha! Now guess what I cooked!" Ted was almost jumping from his seat, propping his head on his palm as he stared at her.
"Come on, now"
"Curry"
"No"
"Friend chicken?"
"Nope, but boy I would love to have that right now"
"Salad?"
"Heck no! You kiddin' me?"
"Uhhh, curry?"
"You already said that!" Ted pouted lightly and she almost reach out to trace the bottom of his lips and mumbled how sweet he look right now but thankfully she stopped herself.
"Allright I give up" she threw her hand up and sigh "anything you cooked is fantastic anyway, doesn't matter what it is"
"Oh, arent you a sweetheart" he smiled at her so adorably it made her tooth ache. "I'm glad you think so because I just cooked f/f!" Ted yelled so excitedly, arms spread wide and eyes bright.
She looked at him with agape mouth
"F/f? Are you serious?" She grinned so widely, it has been awhile since she tasted it, mainly because the only f/f she had ever ate is the one her mother cooks.
"Course! I wouldn't lie to ya!" Ted had stated "I couldn't get some shut eyes last night so I decided to make it, better to do something than nothin' at all am I right?"
She's still looking at him, as if in trance. "Wow Ted..I mean im pretty fucking pump but-well, why did you make it? You could have baked, you usually bake when you have nothing to do"
Ted looked away from her, cheeks suddenly getting warm and pink under the sunlight. "Oh you know..just miss ya' I guess"
Her heart crumbled and melted inside of her chest, she could feel its warmth drip from every nerve she has and settle deep within her guts and lay there until she has to curl her toes in a pathethic attempt to calm herself down.
He took a peek at her under his lashes. "I was so used seeing you every darn morning 'ere so it makes me all sad and upset when I don't. Even coach beard had to knock some sense in to me, told me to keep my marbles together or else he'll hide my barbecue sauce" he lightly chuckled "pretty heavy threat, if you ask me"
"I didnt know you miss me so much"
"Are you kiddin' me? I miss ya a hell'ava lot more than 'much'" Ted had almost yelled "i miss ya more than Roy misses running! And thats alot"
She laugh quietly, both in amusement and the tickling feeling deep on her stomach that normal people (with normal amount of love on their heart) would refer as butterflies, but for her, for someone who love too deep and too vast and too much and for a girl like her that grew up reading stories and fairy tales and movies characters with soft confession under bright stars and harsh rains, she could refer the feeling on her stomach as a clawing beast, a magnificent one born on legends and shaky words of the fear locals, with a ferocious growl and wild eyes and fangs as big as a tallest house.
In short, everytime Ted does something so adorably lovely on her eyes she could feel the entire animals on her stomach.
She looked at him with a gentle smile, eyes bright and so so soft - looking at him a like proper lover would. "I miss you too, Ted" she had said almost like a whisper, like a sin. "More than you could ever know"
The statement sounded too intimate, the tone too romantic to be said between casual friends and even the silence after it could be written in a pages of old romance stories - describe it like moment after the music, where the two of them stares at one another with that yearning look that makes all the reader sick to their stomach.
Her words sounds like a confession, one that is so gentle even the gods up above would melt where they stood. She didn't utter the proper words of 'i love you' and didn't open her palm where her bleeding heart lay and offer it to him with a desperation - but the way she said her words, the way every letter soud so much like a sudden whisper in a night of passion and sudden realization of devotion and adoration makes her statement more than a confession - as if it was an oath, a promise set on stone. Like a knights word as he kneeled on his king and offered the edge of his swords, bare against the world, bright steel and fierce glare as his lips mouth his promise, the words he would live and die on, where war would start and where it would end - be it by his blood or his foes. And similar to that y/n is ready to be let down on where she sat, to spill her heart like a leaking wound and let it stains them both, let him know how she feels, how serious, how much time she had spent pinning after him, yearning, adoring him so silently like a lovesick suitor from afar.
Ted grinned at her, dimple deep on his cheeks and that damn fallen hair on his forehead that makes him so so lovely. He opened his mouth and y/n waited with bathed breath and wonder what words would come out but before he could even roll his tounge the door of her office opened with a harsh loud push.
"Y/n we have to- oh. oh Ted! Good morning!" Higgings strolled in clumsily and no matter how much she love the little dork she kinda want to crush his glasses on her palm and send him home.
"Higgins! Nice to see ya today, buddy" Ted stood up to greet him and to give him a pleasant hug and if the coach is annoyed at anyway, he didn't show it. God he's so kind its annoying..
"You too, Ted. You too" Higgins replied with a smile that reserved only for Ted, filled with gratitude and adoration before he turned to her and she watch, with great amusement and a little irritation, when that smile fell down on his lips. "And uh, we need to talk"
She sighed mournfully, waving a goodbye to the wonderful conversation she was having with her love and to the words he would say earlier. She gestured Higgings to sit across her before she met Ted's eyes.
"Im afraid we'll have to cut our cheesy conversation here, Ted. Duty calls and if you want someone to blame, blame Higgings" she pointed at the man with a teasing smirk that had Higgins poor heart rapidly beating with nervousness.
"What? But I'm merely doing my job-"
"Im fucking with you" she patted his shoulder with a light laugh before glancing at Ted, who still remained at her office with a smile.
"I'll gave you a call later" Ted had said "let's have a dinner, ill cook for ya'"
She bit her lip to keep the ridiculous love sick smile threatening to rip her mouth apart and nodded "ill look forward to it, have a good day"
"You too, sugar"
And he was gone and if Higgins wasn't infront of her, staring at her with that bewildered look only spooked squirrel could do she would have stood up and do a cartwheel on her carpeted floor because holy fucking shit Ted is going to cook for her, just for her, not like those times where they eat together on the locker room and she has to sneakily steal his lunch - tho she knows Ted wouldn't mind Beard is another problem, she still thinks Beard has a few dead bodies on his back, the man has a stare of a despondent convicted murderer inside a prison cell. Its crazy.
"Oh." Higgings blink rapidly, his mouth subtly and slowly forming a smile. "You and Ted?"
She squinted her eyes "We're friends"
"Not with that look in your eyes, no"
"What did you eat today to have you acting this cheeky, my dear Higgins?" She looked at him up and down with a scowl.
The man let out a grin
"I should be the one asking that" he then leaned in "or should it be 'who did you meet today that have you acting this lovesick, my dear y/n?"
She flush red "You're fired"
"That'd be the 205 times you've fire me and I will continue to ignore it as long as I live"
"The first time i did that you sobbed on my shoulder"
"Well its.." he looked away "it was a different time"
"Sure it was"
____________________________________
"Look what we have 'ere-"
"JESUS, ROY!" She had jumped 2 feet from where she stood, clutching her heart and her car keys.
"What the hell man!"
"What? You got yourself an American man and suddenly you're weak of heart?"
"That doesn't even make any sense.." she mumbled with a disturbed look as she stared at him. "What are you even doing here? and I dont have an American man, get your head straight"
"Its a fucking parking lot, im allowed to be here" He commented with a glared as he not so softly leaned on her car.
She sighed through her nose, annoyed. "What i meant was, why the fuck are you even standing about in here and suddenly appearing from the darkness like a...hairy angry batman"
"Im not fucking hairy!"
"you shed like a golden retriever, you're not fooling anybody!"
Roy, the dog, growled in annoyance before he blocked her way to the driver seat.
"Please move or ill yell bloody murder" she stated suddenly so so exhausted.
"Why actin' so rush? Got somewhere to be?" She squinted his eyes at him, suspicious and contemplating why is he being such a dick.
"Why are you talking to me like you're about to take my lunch money?"
Roy, with the little patience he has, growled once again before he shook his head, as if he was the one getting annoyed and tired on the conversation. Then he stared at her, right on the eye, as if wanting to burn her soul and cook her alive.
"Youre really not going to tell me?" He had asked, hands on his hips.
"Is that how it is?"
"What?" She ask, confused.
"You and Ted" Her eyes widen, what is he on about?
"Me and Ted? What about us?"
"Higgin-" he cleared his throat "I mean, someone told me you and the little prick was getting all chummy in your office. Even got yourself a fucking date, how lovely"
She sighed "there wasn't a date Roy, Ted and I are friends. And we aren't getting 'chummy' or whatever kind of meaning that word has in your vocabulary and tell Higgins-"
"It wasn't higgings"
"-tell him to keep his damn nose out of my business or ill key his car"
Roy stared at her for a long second before he clenched his jaw and mumbled a 'fuckkkkk'
"We're-" he swallowed before he looked upwards to the sky, as if begging the gods above to give him more strength. "We're-..f-friends, arent we?" Her eyes soften in both adoration and amusement as he grimaced with every letter he spoke.
She chuckled "we are, no matter how much you disdain that word"
"Then," Roy had sighed "believe me when I say that that cowboy Mr. Rogers is fucking inlove with you"
Suddenly the air felt too thick and her clothes felt too hot. "Roy, i think you're wrong. Ted wanst-"
"Don't you fucking dare tell me he wasn't because a blind bloke could see it in a mile away, he wouldn't fucking shut up about you. fuck sake, He even draws you!" He yelled dramatically, hands shooting in a air in a form of exaggerated irritation that only Roy Kent could do. "Those past few days where you lock yourself up in your bloody office has been the worst days of my entire life, Ted looks constipated half of the fucking time and all he does is broods and broods and fucking complains about you. He's insufferable! Beard has to talk to him in the bathroom to get him straight!" He massage his temple before sighing and looking at her so gently then, so softly, like a brother would, like a friend would do, like someone you can hold onto when life gets though and days gets bad.
"Believe me, he's inlove with you.." he softly said like a whisper.
"In every possible way a human could love, he's inlove with you"
Her breath hitched from her throat, tounge heavy on her mouth and her heart beat could be hear from miles away. The beast inside of her guts fell silent, almost asleep, like his words strike straight to his heart and send him down on the ground, wounded and shaken and could never get back up.
"I came here to.." Roy cut short, finding the proper words. "To tell you how happy I am that he finally work the balls to ask you out, but turns out he's still a fuckin' pussy and a mess of a man"
She chuckled and shook her head.
"Ted is.." She lick her lips and leaned on her car, Roy beside her and shoulder apart.
"I don't think Ted would do the first move, he's..afraid, I think. All his life Michelle was the only woman he knew, only woman he loved and if what you're saying is not true, then she's the only woman he would forever love" she said almost mournfully. "Divorced is hard, specially for someone like Ted who loves too much and give too much, maybe that's the reason why I'm hopeless inlove with him to the point of humiliation but who fucking  cares, right?" She shrugged.
She then swallowed before sighing a shaky breath. "I'll uh, ill confessed tonight. While we eat dinner, ill..ill try, and if- y'know, he doesnt like it then I'll back off" she bit her lip as her gaze burn holes to the pavement.
"I'll love him from afar, cheer for him from the stands and sob on my office if I saw him and sassy together again"
Roy chuckled "i remembered that one" reminiscing her worst times of sobbing half dead on her office table mumbling how cruel it is to love Ted and asking what Sassy has that she does not.
"Maybe ill hire a hit man too, have them kill you so you could forget about it" she bumped his shoulder with her own and lightly laugh when Roy grunts.
"I'll write it with my fucking blood, believe that"
"Write it with your chest hair and ill believe it"
"You fucking cunt-"
____________________________________
"Sorry 'bout the mess.." Ted gestured to the perfectly clean living room with a sheepish look. "didn't have time to clean up. I'm just too excited to cook for ya I forgot about everything else"
"That so? Well I'm excited to taste it, I'm sure it'll be wonderful" she smiled at him as she put the bottle of wine down on the marble kitchen bar.
"Oh it'll blow your socks off, its nothin' like the food at Sam's restaurant but its darn good if I say so myself" She watched silently as Ted, adorable adorable Ted, wore his pastel pink apron, tied it around his waist and fluff it with a lovely smile that almost had her clutching her precious weak heart.
"Im sure it'll be delicious" she say, referring more to the cook rather than food. "I like anything you do anyway, so"
Ted glance at her and smile, all dimple and bright eyes. It made her smile too, softly, subtly, like one of those yearning smile that hides thousands of words and promises and hopes and desperation.
Ted went back to his cooking, whistling a tune she swore she heard before. He was telling a story, one about a fish and a basketball and a prom that gone wrong but for the life of her she could not listen.
She thought about her conversation with Roy, the words he had utter that made her want to pour her heart out and confessed to her love. She dont want to be hopeful, being hopeful is nothing but a wish on the wind in this place. It is the poison that rots your mind, that decays the flower and the trees and the grass, break the ground you stood up upon - watch it crumble and crumble until your legs become weak and your bones break from your flesh and you fell ill and sick and cough blood until you die and wish that you should have done better, that you should have stayed quiet and at peace and settle from staring from afar instead of watching your own skin slowly peel away as you continue to hope and hope and hope and watch as the filthy earth swallow you whole and- Jesus christ she should really stop reading those sad terrifying books Nate had been recommending her alot, its ruining her head in the worst ways.
"Ya feel alright?" Ted's voice woke her from her thoughts.
She looked at him furrowed brows and concerned eyes. "Im good, it's nothing"
"We could just watch a movie, you know? Order some good ol' pizza and have a laugh on some bad movies and oh! You know what? we could just watch your favourite-"
"I rather just taste your food, Ted. If you don't mind"
"But you look tired" and there it is again, the puppy look, the vain of her existence. God he's so terrible she kinda want to kiss his face and pinch his cheeks.
She chuckled "arent you sweet"
"Oh gosh! I didnt- darn, I didnt mean it that way, sugar!" He was panicking, going all over the kitchen with his cute apron on and little sauce smudge on his cheeks.
"You l-look tired but y'know still pretty, and cute and-and you know? Please darlin' I didnt mean to offend you i just want to-"
"Hey, hey, hey.." she called out to him with a barely contained humour smile "I get it, I was fucking with you. I'm just joking, calm down"
He slumped dramatically on the counter with a sigh "oh goodness, you had me there. Thought I was gonna loose ya'"
They had talked a little bit, or maybe too much, she couldn't exactly remember how long it was or what it was about but she had know they had laugh and jest and share a few stories of their childhood and back when they're still a foolish teenager who didn't know what they want and where they belong - she  still don't know now if she was being honest, she wasn't really the kind of person that plans ahead of time, or give a genuine thought on what she wanted to do in the future and how she will get there but Ted is, Ted knows, Ted understand what he wants and how he will get there and what he see himself on the future and in which place and who he was with, it made her fall a little more inlove with him.
"How was it?" He had asked as he leaned in, nervous and fidgeting.
"Oh gosh please say somethin' I'm about to blow a nerve over 'ere"
She laugh "it was good!" And it is, the best curry she probably had.
"Its perfect, Ted. Even the spiciness is perfect"
He blew out an air "oh thank god, I was so worried ya wouldn't like it! And to be completely honest with ya' I thought I switched up the salt and sugar halfway"
She laugh again, it wasn't even funny, she's just inlove and a complete fool.
Ted started to talk about his day, down to what he had ate for breakfast and how terrible his coffee was 'it tasted like cow piss' his words. He then talked about his theory that Nate is secretly a goverment spy forced to work with him for a very dangerous top secret world breaking undercover mission - when she asked why he think that - 'because nate is a genius and there ain't no way he was a water boy before I came here and coach beard told me he saw nate yesterday slap a fly in a speed of light and didn't even flinch'
It was ridiculous theory but she then remember the amount of gory psychological thriller books Nate has been recommending her for the past few days and a good amount of them involves a spy or two. She wasn't convinced but she'll keep an eye out just incase.
"-it wasn't that much of a big deal"
"You set your school on fire!" Ted had exclaimed rather dramatically, on her opinion, as she told him her high-school tales.
"Thats like- Thats arson!"
"Its not arson if they don't know someone set it on fire" she tap her forehead lightly as if gesturing Ted to see how smart she is. And Ted, bless his heart, actually nodded.
"Youre right, thats smart. Look at ya' getting away with crimes in such a young age!" He grins so beautiful she was actually proud of what her foolish younger self did back then.
"You sounds awfully proud of me bring a criminal"
"Well its kinda awesome and speaking of awesome!--" his eyes was bright and there's a little smudge of sauce near his lips, he looks adorable and loveable and she just suddenly want to kiss him stupid and tell him how much she loves him-
"--Sassy and I are going on date this weekend!"
A glass shattered on the background.
She wasn't adventurous or a sucker for pain and near death experince but if someone had ask her what it would feel like when an arm go through her chest and crush her heart in one fist, she would describe what she's feeling right now in exact gruesome detail that even Nate would vomit on the corner.
She couldn't stop her smile for falling from her lips or the soft disbelief of 'oh' that escape from her tounge, its amazing how a simple two letter words sounded so broken out of the millions she had uttered before.
"Thats great, Ted" she thank every God there is that her voice didn't came out robotic "im happy, you deserve someone who can take care of you"
Ted nodded his head with a grin that is far too wide for his cheeks and then he stared talking, he was saying something but she couldn't hear it, didn't bothered to hear it, she was too busy wondering if the feeling of absence on her chest had been there long before or had just recently appeared now.
"-aint it funny?"
"Yeah" was her response even if she didn't hear any word of it, she avoid his gaze as she wiped her mouth with a tissue and cleared her throat - there's a vile stuck on it that she couldn't seems to swallow.
"Ted, I-uh, I think I'm gonna go home. I'm not feeling very well" she was a liar and a coward but she rather die than cry infront of him -  and suddenly she was young again, alone in her room, toes cold from the floor board and clenching her hands into a tight fist and wondering what is it about her that is unlovable.
"Oh, uh, okay" Ted stood up from the table "are you feelin' dizzy? Does your tummy feels funny? Do you wan-"
"I don't" she said firmly, she was upset, mad, not to him but to herself, for even hoping that she could have this. "I don't need anything, thank you" she lied and swallowed the humiliation of even wanting to say everything she wanted to say to him. All those words she wanted to confessed makes her sick to her stomach because how fucking dare she believe she even has a chance? How foolish to even assume she could have Ted?
"Nothing like a good rest would fix" she had stated, hoping to ease his mind but her chuckle came out weak and sad.
"Okay uh, ill walk you to your apartment - I mean, flat, christ-"
"Its okay" she grab her bag "I can walk by myself"
"I don't think its safe-"
"I can handle myself"
"Still, you look a little pale and I can't have a gal like yo-"
"Fucking hell Ted!" She had yelled and the guilt settled on her stomach as soon as she did so.
Ted look at her like she wasn't her, like another person came on his flat with a face of a friend he adores and she wanted to laugh because how could she want to love him and care for him when she could barely be half of a kind person that he was?
"Just- fuck, I got it. I can handle myself just dont-" she sighed through her nose and looked down, she could feel the tears on her eyes and but none of them fell down.
"Just let me be, yeah? I'm not a fucking toddler you need to be coddle all the time"
There's a pause before Ted nods "Okay" his eyes were sad, sadder than anything she had ever saw and it would've break her heart if it weren't shattered before.
She looked at him silently, a second. She almost wanted to say it, say the words, just lay it all on the table and let Ted feast on the remnants of her broken heart and whatever is left. He'll take good care of it, she knows. That's a kind of man he is. Maybe even fix it together with some melted gold.
"Im sorry" Ted was the one who apologized even if she should be the first, it made her guts coil. "I didnt mean to upset you, I was just-just worried. I'm sorry"
She looked down and clenched her fist, dig her nails on her palm.
"You have nothing to be sorry for, I was being a dick and I have no excuse-"
"Youre tired and you're not feeling well, 's okay"
"Its not, Ted" she shook her head "I shouldn't have talk to you like that, you're my-" she swallowed "youre my friend, I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry"
Ted smile, sad and worried all at once. "Its okay, I forgive ya'"
He shouldn't be, atleast not this easily.
"Okay" she nod her head once before she turn to the door with trembling hands.
Ted appeared next to her and held the door open for her. "Be safe, sweetheart"
'Don't' she wanted to whisper but felt too tired to do so.
"Call me when you get home"
"Will do"
The ground was wet as she walked and the road felt much sadder than before, the cold night air beg her for warmth and instead of the heat of her flat her mind travel to the warmth of his hands, of his touch. Y/n briefly wonder how she came to be like this, how she love so fiercely like a beaten dog and dig claw marks on everything she ever love just to watch it be yank away from her as easily as her tears could fall.
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kakushino · 9 months
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Haganezuka's apprentice - Fem!Reader
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You'd heard about his temper, or rather, you heard his temper, long before you first saw him. The need for new swordsmiths went beyond personal wants and so, you found yourself as one of the would-be apprentices under masters of their trade. Your master though? Haganezuka Hotaru
Since you would be entering the Swordsmiths' village proper, as a citizen and not a visitor, you had received your own hyottoko mask, as ugly as the rest of them, yet crucial for its anonymity. You were grateful to it though, because it hid your scowl during your first few weeks under Master Haganezuka's dubious tutelage.
"Not like that, you stupid shithead!"
"This is shoddy as hell. Again."
"Useless brat."
"If Kamado got a sword like this, he'd be coming back for another in a day."
It was all you could do to not blow up on him. As it was, you just shut your mouth and tried to keep up. You weren't even sure if he knew you weren't a man; after all, the masks did distort even voices.
You understood though, really. He was forbidden from touching the forge until he healed up and just tried to focus his energy on you, but he went about it completely wrong. 
Every insult and snide comment fueled your wrath. It was time to show him what you were made of, what you learned and what you could do. 
With bandage-covered hands from the blisters and rawness of overworking, you did what you did best as of late - forge.
The day you presented your first 'passable' wakizashi (passable for him, very good for others) was the day his comment felt less offensive and more… like a compliment?
"Hmpf, guess you aren't that incompetent, brat."
With time, the heat of his words went out of the window, his vulgarity dwindling as you improved in leaps and bounds. Despite his harshness and unpolished way of teaching, you'd become a swordsmith who could stand on her own two feet. Your apprenticeship would last for years more though, giving you plenty of time to really get to know your master.
"You didn't buy yourself any dango? Idiot. Here, take one. Don't tell a soul or you're dead."
"Here… What do you think it is? I didn't know you were so stupid you couldn't recognize tea. You like this type, don't you? So shut up and take it."
"Tsk. Brat. As if you could distract me from my- is that Gyomaru's dango? Hand it over."
Haganezuka Hotaru was just abrasive on the outside, but a big softie on the inside. 
A big softie who couldn't take care of himself properly at times. 
"Master Haganezuka, you need to eat. You've been in here for over a day." You cautiously touched his shoulder, hoping beyond hope he would snap out of the Zone. You'd brought dango and tea, hoping to entice him with the smell at first. It wasn't working, obviously.
He said nothing, just continued to hammer away at his latest work. 
“Master Haganezuka?” you shook his shoulder a little, making him pause for a moment before he continued. Your patience wore thin. You scowled. You’d be surprised if the ugly expression wasn’t permanently fixed into your face with how often you wore it when dealing with him. 
Maybe taking off his mask would make him pay attention to me?
Spoiler alert: It did not.
But it did make your face feel hot when you saw how handsome he was under it. A few shiny scars from the not-so-recent village attack still stood out against his pale skin, making him even more attractive.
Sweat made his dark hair stick to his skin, and suddenly, you were curious about the whole picture; you untied his scarf - it wasn’t like he was going to un-Zone anytime soon, you reasoned. You were not ready for the dark wavy tresses spilling over his shoulders. It was not fair how much of a looker he was. Was this man really single?
You continued to study him, memorizing his features for long lonely nights in your accommodation. Soon enough, you realized you were being a creep and should stop at once; you needed to finish what you started after all.
“Master Haganezuka!” you reached for his other shoulder to shake it. What you didn’t account for was the fact it was his blind side. Instead of an insult or even a scathing remark, you were nearly slashed with a red-hot blade in the face. You took a quick step back and it thankfully only knocked off your hyottoko mask to the ground, the wood smoking a little where the iron made contact with it. You stared at it with wide eyes, your heart in your throat and terror pulsing in your veins. “...”
“...you’re a woman?” 
Your eyes met his, both of you staring at each other in disbelief. “You didn’t know?” 
A flush rose to his cheeks, before his expression turned to white ash. “The old man is gonna kill me.”
"How did you not know I was a woman? The Chief told you when he was introducing me."
"I wasn't listening," he huffed, looking away. 
"More importantly, you just tried to kill me!" 
"Not my fault you were being stupid, brat!"
"You were being stupid. You didn't get out of here for over a day! You have to eat! And sleep!"
"Sleep is for the weak! I need to finish this project-" Haganezuka turned back to his bench, reaching for his hammer.
You snatched the tool before he could touch it. "No, you don't-" You high-tailed it out of his forge, clutching his favorite hammer as if your life depended on it.
"Wait-! You useless wench!"
Your master swore up a storm, hurling insults, screaming at you and chasing you with his half-finished blade. 
Kanamori even ran out into the street in his pajamas, mask askew, a katana of his own in hand, thinking there was an attack again. Seeing Haganezuka, he huffed and went back to sleep, too tired to deal with this right now.
A few days later, the Chief came to officially scold your master. You had a kick out of it, thankful your mask hid your smirk.
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