#slept a full night again
Text
srry abt complaining all the time but my god i am in pain
#used my legs 3 days in a row#i’m made out of concrete now#he’s been asleep for over 48 hours#i slept a full night#woke up to do outside errands all day#slept a full night again#he’s still asleep#i hope he is okay#i wish i could join him
2 notes
·
View notes
Note
I feel you, its so bad 😭, I had to go on a functioning adult human schedule for school and good god, out the house by 7am... bad bitches are not built for that..
WE REALLY ARE... and man, I can brute force myself into any schedule if there are things that HAVE to be done at certain times (like school, like you said) but it absolutely never feels "right". it feels like waking up at 3am to go to the airport type of shit.
and it is truly so annoying... to get hit with the "that's a Normal schedule, you need to Fix your schedule" okay. alright. but let me hit you with this one. is it "normal" or is it just conducive to a 8 - 5. because no matter what my sleep schedule is like, or how locked in I am, I'm more clear headed at night + more productive and energetic. and no matter what, I'm tired during the day, especially the brightest times of day when the sun is allegedly supposed to be signaling my brain to be awake and alert. and it doesn't matter how much sleep I got.
#I can wake up in The Early Morning after going to bed at a reasonable hour the night prior and be exhausted throughout the daytime#and if I make it to the night then I'll suddenly perk back up. if I woke up at 7am that morning (with 8 hours of sleep under my belt)#I can comfortably stay awake until 5 or 6am that very next morning.#I need to Adapt to the daytime schedule- but if I loosen my grip on myself at all I will instantly SNAP back to the nighttime one.#full rubberband moment.#I don't need to transition back into it. my body just wants to click it back in place#I'll go right back into the swing of it as soon as I'm allowed to again#sergle answers#also I don't have trouble sleeping in daylight hours. yeah I have the curtains drawn in my room#but they aren't Blackout curtains. it's dim in there but not Dark. that doesn't impede me at all#it is crazy the way that people are so confident in telling me to my face that I'm on a bad and lazy schedule#bc they are categorizing my wake-up time as 'sleeping in' bc they're measuring it on their standard of when THEY go to bed.#i could go to bed at noon and wake up at 3pm and they'd say that i slept in
153 notes
·
View notes
Text
Wine stains on porcelain
(Alternatively: @katkastrofa and I have created 5 OCs in 3 days and I suffer from chronic “I wanna draw the little guysssssss” disease)
#my art#artists on tumblr#the legend of korra#original characters#I have not figured out a tag system yet so for now this is all they’re getting#their names are liba and abyan and I’m very much obsessed :)#they’re the children of two of our other newest OCs. Himman and Summiya#the latter of whom just happens to be Zaheer’s older sister#but he ran away from home years before these two were born so he most likely isn’t even aware of their existence#I mean. I’m sure he suspects his sisters had children. but that’s the extent of what he knows#anyway#quite a few headcanons came to mind as I was drawing so I’m gonna type them out while I can still function#(haven’t slept for two nights in a row. I’m starting to doubt whether I’m actually alive or not)#Liba is older by about a year but once they grow up a little it’s barely noticeable and people assume they’re twins#over time they stop bothering to correct them because really. they’re so close they might as well be#they were both burn with port wine stain birthmarks on their faces. much to their mother’s dismay#she has a whole perfectionism complex and needed her children to reflect that to maintain the family image#thus they were taught how to hide the marks early on. but the powder makes them constantly sneeze#liba is very self conscious about it bc of what her mother put in her head. Abyan less so bc while he’s expected to be perfect#his future doesn’t depend on his looks. he always tries to comfort his sister whenever she spirals too deep. no matter that she’s older#when no one is around to hear he calls her Lili <3 it annoyed her at first so she dubbed him Yanyan in retaliation#but over time they both grew to love the nicknames and now use them unironically#they’re the ultimate partners in crime. their goal? gaining as much freedom from their mother as possible#and sooner or later they will manage to do so permanently. which will make Summiya fall apart. but that is currently Kat’s domain#speaking of. hi Kat. I know you’ve already seen this in pencil but look! I coloured them!!#the birthmarks were both kinda annoying and rather fun to do. maybe I’ll change them later. I was too tired to look at refs so I improvised#and there’s no detail in clothing since again. 0 energy whatsoever. but once I refine their full body designs I shall go all out#that reminds me I need to go collect my new sketchbook. might do it on the way home from the store#okay I’m getting distracted. is this my very unsubtle way of trying to influence Kat to write that Summiya fic?#maybe. maybe not. you can’t prove anything 😁
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
ive barely slept for days, im so exhausted i basically don't even know what day is it.
#yesterday a customer told me it feels like a monday and i was like haha yep yep while wondering in my head what weekday it was again#and i legit couldn't come up w an answer#during the hours i slept last night i had a dream where i said i wanna start smoking. what customer service does to a person 😭😭#to think i only started last week and im not even working full-time 🥴🥴🥴🥴#as im typing this a big group of elementary schoolers just hopped on this bus. pls kill me i can't take this#my posts
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
loki season two has me screaming crying throwing up trying not to get dragged back into the mcu trenches
#i am stronger than this. i am better than this!!#by the trenches i mean consuming fanfiction at an unhealthy rate. fourteen year old me was insane i think i was on ao3 more than i slept#that’s not exaggeration. i was getting four hours of sleep on school nights and frequently went to bed at 5am on weekends#it is ONE good story. one. literally not worth it. i don’t even care about ninety percent of the mcu characters#i will ignore the little voice in my head reminding of the sheer amount of fanfiction. this was my pre-tumblr days#so my fandom interaction was like. youtube and ao3. maybe instagram posts sometimes. it was so much fun like. zero drama zero discourse#i was honestly living my best life. got less interested when i joined tumblr and went full doctor who mode#and after endgame i watched i think wandavision and loki and that was it. just didnt care anymore lol#i know exactly why this is happening tho. currently the thing i am insane about is my own damn project. which i am in the process of writin#for obvious reasons no fandom there. bc it lives in my mind twenty four fucking seven#i do wonder if i’m kind of growing away from fandom anyway? the closest i’ve got since toh ended was homestuck tbh#i want to feel obsessed with something again!! everything i’m into now - tma tlt and the like - i love them#but it doesnt hit like it used to. i don’t know it’s hard to explain#like video essays that i would have loved a few years ago!! the hour long ones about representation and queer media#they just irritate me now! i got halfway through one last week and had to bail i just could not care less#how did 2020 social media have me convinced that x character being gay was super important politically economically socially etc#ofc the answer is that i was a baby lesbian getting even less social interaction than normal#like representation is important obviously but also. sometimes it was not that deep#i don’t know if i’m making sense tbh but you get my drift#morganposting
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
I don't know what has been going on, but for the past week I've been dealing with a bad case of vertigo. Towards the end of the week it was getting better so I hoped it was going away but over the weekend it got worse again. I'm going to have to go to the doctor at this point, I don't know what's going on but I'm so dizzy all the time.
#text post#my post#i've had like a few hours here and there where i feel okay#and then it hits again and i can't even watch tv or scroll tumblr bc it makes me sick#i slept a full 12 hours last night. i'm just dizzy and exhausted all the time#this is why i haven't answered the lovely ask game asks i got btw#i've had no energy and honestly haven't even been able to think straight past the dizziness most of the time#idk what's happening but it sucks
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
On a bright note today i saw :
- one cat (in passing as i was in the bus : it was black)
- a magpie (either reckless or supremely unconcerned about the fact that the bus was upon her and she kept HOPPING as she crossed the road instead of like. flying away.)(get this. she was... jaywalking)
- lots of dogs ! pretty colored ones with eyes white as ice
- a big black heron flying up above
And i did :
- buy vegetables and fruits at the market
- get my blood taken, got the results, won't die tomorrow apparently (real reading of the results will have to wait on monday or tuesday)
- find good (well i hope. we'll see in time) new shoes for nature/long walking. not a fan of the plastic-instead-of-usually-in-metal bits, but they felt really comfortable and fitted to my feet which is rare
- listened to live music ! saw a lot of people having fun. it was quite nice
#3615 my life#trying to rentabilize my last two days of holidays...#i'm not rested at all#but i have two new pillows since yesterday and i didn't even agonize hours before buying them#(also because i bought the too and at least that way i can find which one is better for me and have a second one for guests / reclining)#trying the second one tonight...#i don't have pillow case of the right size for them which also change the feeling. the harder one too ensconsed was harder as a result#i slept ok but it wasn't full peacefulness of the face (which lives half into the pillow as i sleep)#but this means the soft one which i feared was too soft to use by itself and not crick my neck#might actually be the perfect way to have a “middle hardness” effect between the soft and hard one#i will not have gotten to sleep before midnight a single time in those holidays. bad look for my 'get your night cycle right again for july
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
how in the world does anybody nap for only 30 minutes
#becca.txt#one of the things the sleep doctor recommended to help with the narcolepsy symptoms was 30 minute naps#and i remember being like how???#and he was like yeah take a 30 minute nap so you can get recharged and still sleep at night#and again i was very confused because i can take a six hour nap then wake up for an hour and sleep a whole eight hour night#and i still wake up as exhausted as if i slept four hours#definitely retaking that test again this year to see if i'm still in the medical gray zone or if i can get a full diagnosis#it'll change literally nothing but a definitive answer would be nice#it's too late in the game i've gotten used to being like this and i can manage but yeah a proper answer would be nice
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
unfortunately it's still so fucking over 😔
#did not have a restful night's sleep at all#only slept for 5 hours and woke up with swollen eyes and the headache still isn't gone#my mom keeps saying that i have to pull through and that it's always difficult being the new one but i refuse being treated this way#the problem is i can't just quit bc i received a scholarship from them & agreed to work full time for a year in return#i could pay back the scholarship with interest charges but i don't want to spend my entire savings on that#i found a really good job offer from another pharmacy but it doesn't really make sense to apply there since i'm still tied to my current..#pharmacy for 11 months#but i'm scared that once those 11 months are up i won't be able to find such a good job offer again#tbh it sounds too good to be true bc it claims you only have to work 4 days a week and no saturdays that would be ideal#but i doubt there will still be such an offer in a year... i really don't know what to do i'm so indecisive :(#i uses to really enjoy working in my pharmacy despite the long working hours and even having to work full saturdays..#but it's just getting worse every week and i can't stand to work with one of my colleagues anymore she's just insufferable#my concerns are not taken seriously and i'm clearly taken advantage of and treated poorly bc i'm the new one#☁️
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
The difference between insomnia as a symptom and having a "decreased need for sleep" is that, while both results in you spending an ungodly amount of hours awake and not able to sleep, insomnia will result in a exhausted sleepy person while someone with a "decreased need for sleep" will not be sleepy or exhausted.
#rambles#tmi and bad decisions ahead#i have barely slept the past three nights#i can't fall asleep nor can i stay asleep#and while i can sense something is off enough with my body that it probably would be a good idea to get a full night's rest...#i am at regular functioning capacity#i'm not tired or sleepy... i don't need a nap#i am pretty much fine for the most part#which is even funnier considering that i am sick right now and that's when people feel exhausted the most#hypomania is a trip man#i'm beginning to think that certain games like instinctively triggers my hypomania#because this only started after i started playing graveyard keeper again...#games like that put me in this weird state of mind where i hyperfocus and obsess to the point that i can play for like the entire day#and this is coming from someone who usually does not play a single game for more than an hour at a time#so to go from one hour to like.... 8-10+ hours is rather concerning...#a part of me does wonder if it's actually hypomania or if i'm just physically weird#idk i don't think i've been displaying other hypomanic symptoms... at least i don't think so....#either way regardless my plan for this evening is to get drunk AND take one of my meds that causes drowsiness so i can hopefully sleep well#wish me luck! :)
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
sigh 😔
#so fucking frustrated with my sleep rn!#was trying to fix it so last night i slept like??? 3/4? hours?#and i literally refused to go anywhere near my bed all day. made sure i was always doing something and i waa quite productive tbh#only to feel exhausted at 10.30pm and think ok. Maybe you can sleep now and get a full sleep then wake up early#i can usually only sleep 6 hours at a time which is enough for me i think#anyways so i fall asleep. only to fucking wake up at 11pm. so i basically just had a nap#and i know what im like. i wont be able to sleep for at least a couple hours now so basically my sleep was fucked#i tried so hard to just force myself to lie back down and try to sleep again but i couldnt do it#i know its not that big a deal but im just so. fucking tired. and i guess i just kinda hate how hard i tried to sort my sleep just for it#to fail so miserably. like its usually not great. hasnt been for years but this is honestly on some other level.#anyways idk why im here complaining about it. will probably delete this later. time to go do whatever awake ppl do i guess#le text post
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Flashing vent gifs below the cut. I don't know why this helps, but it does.
#I woke up and did something stupid#just venting dont ask#also I can't take my fucking mini press because for 3 nights I've woken multiple times to my heart pounding too fast and too hard#I skipped it and my heart was steady all night#which I know because I barely slept#but still managed to have nightmares#I'm sick and depressed and I can't even fucking sleep#I wish weed didn't cause such intense panic attacks#a bitch could use a good high#even with all the switching and black outs happening again I still feel like I need a break from life#maybe the hematologist will pump me full of sane people blood#that's how blood works right?#vent#flashing images#flashing gif#eye strain#depression#and shit#it genuinely does help though#went from extremely intense emotions and bad thoughts™️#to able to deal with it and calm down really quickly
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
OH!!! FUCK I FORGOT I GOTTA FIND AN ARCHERY RANGE NOW THAT I DONT HAVE TITS IM SO EXCITED TO LEARN HOW TO SHOOT CORRECTLY
#i took a full oxy last night and slept well and took one again this morning and feel. pretty good#saw a tiktok that reminded me i love archery :) but it was really hard bc tig biddies but not anymore!!!#idk if i will Get A Bow again(depends on a lot#most of all money shits expensive even on craigslist)#(and my Tax Return Treat this year is going to be a nice seat for my kayak so i can stop sitting on bunches up towels)#(depending on how big my return is i might get a nice roof rack but i doubt it)#god im so excited to Go Do Sports this year im Never Going To Be Inside#i really hope Rob gets his social security so i can afford a pay cut and work a fun job at the audoban society as a tour guide#it speaks#i need a male thot job#also DEFINITELY going to learn to surf this summer the class is only 40$ and i need to do it#also i need. to wait at least a month if not more before i actually do that i know my accurate draw wieght is going too b something patheti#probably 20-30 lbs. if the range is cheap and close by id like to work up to 60-70 but if not its fun to just shoot#i was big talk last summer about deer hunting but i just cant find a good basement freezer#definitely going to fish though#foods too expensive not too
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
what. the FUCK is going on with my brain today 👁_👁
#im like 80-90% sure i had a manic. thing ig#and now i think im in a more depressive one#its noticeable but not like. impairing#really none of my disorders are tbh theyve always been chill somehow#i have no idea what i have yet or if i have anything but theres no fucking waaaaay this is the sleep deprivation from 1-2 days ago#<- actually 2 days ago (stayed up all night day 1#[i forgot i cant use commas oops] and slept at night on day 2)#whats weird to me though is that the manic thing only lasted like a few hours#and i assume this part will too#idk of thats normal or of its supposed to be longer#if*#oh and a 2nd weird thing - did a tiny bit of research so far#it said some symptoms of bipolar 1 and that its usually longer and i just. suddenly felt like crying/really sad over it???????#calmed down and just left google tho lol and went here#since ive told noone about it yet#so.... yeah. oh and a semi related thing i think i may have ocd too#<- i will never get 2 brownies instead of 1 knowing i cant eat it all again#<- felt like they had to eat the 2nd one even tho it felt terrible to since i was full#so yeah our brain is. weird#oh also. 5s. like everywhere#i sorta. did actions/took steps in 5s at one point#and when i specifically put times in the microwave i end them with 5#<- since i do that. pretty often#....and i have to have 25 tags on this now#which is easy bc i have enough to say to make it work B) -yesod
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
sorry if i come off as combative or angry today. i am not allowed to eat until noon-ish tomorrow and my brain, unfortunately, needs food to function emotionally
#also I'm in pain and i haven't slept a full night in awhile bc of the stress abt tomorrow. so. not helping either#hope you can let it slide for one day i should be nice again tomorrow hopefully 👍
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
SLEEP! I FINALLY HAD SOME SLEEP!!!
#i have no clue how long i slept#i think it was like 11.30pm or something that i went to bed last night and that was it i immediately conked out#mind you i had dozed off on the train and was falling asleep on the sofa once i was home lol#i woke up now and it was 1.30pm LOL#i needed the bathroom once but immediately fell asleep again I've never slept so easily or so much holy shit#the paris trip feels like a wonderful dream now (except it actually happened and i was so excited i ended up getting insomnia lol)#and yes i may end up briefly posting about my fave city in the world (one of them at least ;P) later but you have been warned!!#also i didn't take LOADS of pics bc i was only there one full day and i met up with someone too so i was too busy ✨living in the moment✨#also ISABELLE SMILED IN MY DIRECTION I'M SO HAPPY#ramblings of a cruel mistress
1 note
·
View note
Last Seen Blogs
lucas-is-mine
You Complete Me
quiddity11
Quiddity
sleepwalkawake
We Are Very Charming People Mother
justjon2
Mind's Musings