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fairene · 4 months

Text

gravity / ln

lando norris x fem!reader

reader uses she/her pronouns, no use of y/n.

where your life with him is just beginning.

yes! yes! i have insane brainrot for lando norris! yes! this is meant as a single 'oneshot' of sorts, but i am open to taking requests of this so called 'universe.' reader here is a stem major, particularly physics (shoutout to the stem students!) which helps perfect the progression. also was inspired by interstellar.

wc: 15.2k woops!

warnings: smut! -- MINORS DNI!!, porn with a lot of plot! angst, drinking, language, friends to lovers, corruption kink (minor), choking, soft!top lando.

it was all consuming; he was, at least, with his curly hair, upturned eyes, smile that brightened the entire room. utterly irresistible, any woman could agree. they’d jump his bones the second he gave them a lingering glance, a playful wink. but that’s all it ever was with those girls— glances, observations. but you, on the contrary, were a fixation. an obsession, one might call it— actually, someone has before. but you ignored it and let it fly over your whimsical head. how could a man like lando norris ever glance in your direction like he did those models, influencers?

you were always just his friend. his best one, yours too you’d admit only in the solace of your lonesome in the hours of the evening. you met him when you were studying abroad in london at the ripe age of nineteen. you were there on a research term for a professor at your university, though it was much far north of london's borders. still, the girlfriends you managed to make would insist on your attendance to the night club scene on the town.

who were you to deny any pleasantries? a hardworking student. a student with a vision, a dream to be more than what society compressed women to be. you’d rather be out to the stake like a medieval witch than become a loftily homemaker. while it was some of your friends desires, yours stretched far beyond the horizon of which any life was palpable.

a nerd in short terms.

you studied physics. with as much fun as your girlfriends had in the club, you found it in the quiet evenings if your research. you’ve devoted a great deal of time for your studies, but hey— every girl lets go here and there.

the one time you did, you met him. in the late evening hours of the bustling club, drink in your hand, short dress sticking to your sweaty skin, he scared your close friend, laurel.

“boo,” he had said with a low tone, grabbing the girl with a blonde bob by the shoulders. she shrieked despite the loud atmosphere and spun around, slapping him on the chest.

“lando!” she exclaimed, which had your attention drawn upward from the half bitten olive in your martini. he was taller than her, than you, muscularity built with a low taper cut of chestnut hair. he was freckled, and the first thing you noticed about him was the way that his eyes smiled.

they curved up at the edges and you could feel the warmth of the sun drip in from the rooftop. even though it was past midnight at this point.

“i didn’t know you were coming,” laurel breathed at an awkward pace then turned to face you. she outreached her hand for you to take with your free one. you did, feeling warm from the alcohol that you had downed from the night.

“lando, this is my bestie from school,” she introduced you by name, to which you gave a small, dramatic courtesy towards the brit. his eyes caught on your act, gleaming with something you could even see in the yellow hued lights of the club. “this is lando norris, rookie of…what team again?”

you glanced from laurel to lando, brows raised. he hesitated for a moment, gracing you with a lopsided smile that, in time, you’d come to adore.

“mclaren. formula one racing.” he answered, taking a hand to brace the back of his neck. he felt the need to clarify for you, which you took in earnest. he earned a light ahh in your reaction.

you were impressed, to say the least. you hadn’t ever met a formula one driver in the flesh, nor you could say you were a devoting fan. of course you knew what it was, watched it on sundays when your uni friends would turn it on, but that was it. as smart as you were, it seemed that someone knew more about something than you did. you reeled.

“and you like it?” you said after a beat, swirling the toothpick inside the olive around your finger. lando seemed to contemplate your words, taken back by such a question. without a doubt he liked racing, otherwise he wouldn’t do it. but that’s not what she was asking, was she? it weighed on him more as his mind unraveled the layers to such a question, but he ended on a simple answer:

“i don’t know if i could love anything more.” a jest, playful and lightheaded when it came from him.

but how the whims would be tested over the years.

────────────

a year later

“a whole season, lando?” you asked him, hands drawn out before you to iterate the sincerity of what he was asking.

a season of going to races with him.

you were graduating within the next two semesters. twenty two now, whereas he was twenty three. but you had qualified to graduate early, as your intent was to do as such, but the tempting leave of absence form that sat in your lap tempted you even further.

you sat in his monaco flat, a frequent place you visited or stayed until you recently gained residency in monte carlo. it was efficient enough for what you needed to do for work— france around the corner, italy to the west. the best physicians rallied in europe, and staying in the isolated united kingdom was not the best option for you. you caved at his months of pleading to move to monaco.

your legs crossed as you glanced from his pacing, anxious position. your fingers tapped incessantly at the piece of paper before you, pre-addressed envelope sitting on the coffee table.

“why not?” he questioned, putting his hands up in defense, stopping before you. he looked down at you, his heart thundering in his chest. say yes he wanted to plead. his knees felt weak. wobbly as your eyes looked back at him, determined. he loved that look. it drove him wild, enchanted by how the cogs of your brain turned.

you sighed, looking off to the side out the floor to ceiling window. “how would i even pay for all—“

“you wouldn’t drop a pound.”

you were taken back. you could never expect him to pay for that. you knew he was well off, given his hefty contract, but you are friends. friends don’t use each other for money.

“lando—“ you began to shake your head.

“no, no, don’t do that.” he stopped you, earning a glare from you. he shivered, relishing in how vindictive you could be. he hasn’t seen it many times untamed, but the fantasy had his blood roaring. “if money wasn’t a problem, would you come?”

“well—“ you attempted to come up with a defense, but nothing formed. you were at a loss of words. “what would i even wear?”

it was february when you touched down in jeddah. lando has instructed you to fly on the jet with him, side by side for the entire eight hour journey.

you were taken back by the sudden personal touches and longing looks from him. something has changed. over the past year he’s had a few girlfriends, none of them serious so he’s told you, and you believed him. your blind affliction to nod your head and whisper okay was the only way you found that you could truly protect yourself. ignorance is bliss, or whatever the poets say.

with your legs crossed the entire flight and eyes peering from the window, you never once felt lando’s eyes drilling into your face. though he was entirely enamored by your bravery, your understanding how important this was to him.

you may be the only one to truly understand his passion. as he began to understand yours.

on your lap was a research journal translated from german. your professor had sent it over to you for your leave of absence, along with ideas for your masters thesis. she was a kind woman and you appreciated all the work she has done to support you. especially translate it from german.

you tended when you felt lando spread his legs, knee bumping into your calf. but you didn’t shy away.

“what’re you reading?”

“do you really want to know?”

he didn’t hesitate. “why wouldn’t i?”

your chest tightened at his soft tone. you’d never get used to that, would you? when you were in such close proximity with him, he would become so gentle, caring. not that he wasn’t in public spaces but… what was the word you were looking for?

intimate

“after your season i fly to germany to finalize my thesis. i’m still struggling on a topic, but…” you flip back a few pages in the book which was messily annotated and sticky-noted. you stopped on the event horizon section. “this one caught my eye. always fascinated me.”

lando scanned the page. it wasn’t the words he was reading, but the marks you left behind. messily written notes in the margins, smeared ink, bright orange notes with rather… rushed drawings of a black hole, surrounded by streams of… “what is it?”

your eyes glimmered. lando wanted to take a picture of you then, turning from your corner of the window and towards him. your palms smacked the page as you excitedly explained the phenomenon in far too great detail for lando to really pay attention, but he was so engrossed in your intellect and pure passion that slipped past your lips. your sweet, honeyed lips—

“lando?”

“hmm?”

“what will it be like?”

“what?”

“all of it.” your fingers tended around the journal creasing the pages unbeknownst to you.

lando reached over, not thinking rationally, and grabbed your hands. they were colder than his. he was always warm. so warm. a light gasp left your lips when you looked up at him.

“i’ll give you some pointers. ready?”

you nodded.

────────────

he kept a hand on you at all times. unhindered by any sudden movement, feigning to latch at the small divot of your back. you’d grow used to its presence as you scaled the tarmac, hopped into the passenger seat of the mclaren— opened by him— and glanced down at how his hand made claim to the skin of your thigh the entire drive.

he’s stressed. you’d tell yourself, not thinking anything more of it. because what else could it be?

────────────

the entire time you kept modesty in mind. you had pestered lando about your choice of attire, thinking specifically about the nature of your outfits.

“i don’t want to be disrespectful.” you said sternly, looking between the stylist lando paid to dress you, and him. it was your debut at lando’s side and you were determined to make the right choice. you were never usually like this— cold and bullheaded, but he was growing to…enjoy it more than he should.

you stood there tapping your foot with your arms crossed. you shrugged towards the outfits she provided you. you shook your head at a few and decided to ask.

“what about orange?”

orange.

lando thought about falling to his knees for you right then and there. to see you sporting his team colors for him was a dream that he would never want to wake from.

the stylist nodded, raking through the options. there was one that was made of silk, a dress that covered you to the ankles, to the forearms. an abaya it was called. if you were going to be representing lando, which he mentioned on the plane, then you were going to do it right.

and you’ll be damned before you’re ever wrong.

────────────

you certainly underestimated the crowds.

with the season opening, you and lando had been swarmed upon your arrival. he warned you of this, but to which the gravity of it you greatly underestimated.

your fists bawled at the material of the dress, clenching with unspoken anxiety. you were never much of a public person, but you’d be willing to find out if that were true or not today.

“hey,” lando nudged your shoulder. you glanced at him with a light smile. “you got this.”

that comfort was enough alone to let you be pulled from the car. lando opened the door for you. immediately swarmed by flashing cameras and the devilish heat of the middle eastern sun.

questions were thrown at him about you, who you were, and you’d let him do all the talking.

you straightened your posture, gripped the handbag tightly, and kept a soft smile to your features.

lando would stop on occasion to sign some memorabilia, which was a perfect time for you to observe. he was kind with the people who were such loyal fans to him. dressed in the mclaren jerseys, hats, he’d sign anything that was thrown his way. even some arms were thrown in his direction.

it was endearing for you. watching him thrive in his element. your heart warmed at the sight. a new found affection blossoming in the pit of your stomach.

a thump was heard on the ground before you. you turned, glancing back at lando who kept moving forward. it was a mclaren hat dropped by a teenage girl wrapped in a similar garment to yourself. you traipsed over, crouching down to pick it up, and hand it back to her.

“here,” you offered in a sweet tone. your smile was brighter. the girl was clearly elated, bouncing on the balls of her feet.

“are you and lando dating?” came a question from the girl beside her. she was earned a slap to the shoulder, being called rude.

you laughed lightly, shaking your head. “no, no, friends from home is all.”

you saw a phone held up, recording the interaction. but it didn’t scare you. why would it?

“do you want to wrap your hijab? it’ll fly loose in the wind…” the girl asked nervously, placing the mclaren hat on her covered head. you were taken back for a moment, glancing down at the rather lazy job of the stylist, and took intent note that it was rather windy today. it would be hard for you to maintain it by yourself.

“you would do that for me?” you took a step closer to the barricade, which had lando snapping his head over his shoulder to wonder where you went.

he ogled, watching as a young girl began tying the ends of the scarf in an intricate, skilled manner around your collarbones, your neck. his eyes were caught on the smile you graced, the laugh that left your lips. it was such a delicious sound, intoxicating, one that he wished to drown in. if that were his fate, he’d gladly accept it.

his staring was noticed, fans beginning to call his name louder. he swallowed, hands flexing at his side before he signed a few more hats and posters.

────────────

what you didn’t expect was the way that lando looked in his fire guard suit. the black emblems that contrasted his tan skin, bolstered the tone of his muscles. there was barely anything left up for the imagination as you brought the tip of your finger to your mouth, crossing your legs on the orange couch. you couldn’t seem to sit still.

“you alright?” he asked out of concern, but you didn’t miss the slight curve of his mouth. he knew what you were thinking. you were always so responsive to him, so good, even when there were no words transpired.

“peachy!” you confirmed, sitting back against the couch, your leg bouncing as you tried not to let your eyes meddle on the muscles of his neck, the veins in his hands, the bracelets that dangled from his wrists.

he gave you a look of doubt before his teammate walked in with a girl at his side. oscar, you remembered. you had met before briefly at a press conference you attended in monaco. the girl beside him was his girlfriend— she was entirely too sweet and studied a similar focus as you did.

the two mclaren drivers patted each other on the back, while the woman approached you. she sat beside you with a tick of picking at her fingernails.

your hand found its way on top of hers. “first time, too?”

she nodded and introduced herself formally. you did the same. you laced your fingers with hers, stopping the habit from ruining her lovely nailbeds.

lando watched the interaction from over oscar’s shoulder, a cheeky smile etching onto his face. oscar caught wind of his inattention, and glanced over his own shoulder briefly.

he turned back to lando with a toothy grin. “i’ve been trying to get her to stop that habit.”

because within the matter of minutes you were both talking, not once did his girlfriend raise her fingers to her mouth.

────────────

you pulled and fixed at the collar of his race suit. lando sucked in a low, tight breath. you missed the sound, focused on making sure he looks presentable for the national anthem. it would be any minute he’d climb into the car to do a practice lap.

when you were satisfied with the result, you dusted off the top of his head and was going to let your hand fall to your side. but there was a stain of soot on his chin.

without thinking twice, you grabbed his chin between your fingers. his eyes went wide at the action. his fists clenched at his side, body rigid with the feeling of your unexpected touch.

you licked your thumb before wiping it away, his stubble rough against your fingers. his head crooned visibly into the shape of your hand. the warmth from his cheek getting slightly hotter. heat rushed to your own face, flushing you in your orange dress.

whatever moment was transpiring between the two of you, you didn’t want it to end. neither did he. his breathing softened, but his heart was pounding. your thumb swirled over his cheek once before you gripped him tighter.

“you got this, lan.”

there was the first time you graced him with that nickname. the rest was history for him, knowing that he was a dead man walking at your side. if you weren’t going to be his, he would ruin you. such sickening thoughts had him mulling over what you meant to him. you made time out of your busy schedule for him, and so did he. you were there to answer his calls. he was there to be at your beckon and call. he would wreck his entire career if it meant your undivided attention.

he would pivot, skid, take more reckless actions on the track if it meant having your hands on him. your eyes. your love. he wanted it all with you, he learned, from that first weekend in jeddah. with your communally wrapped headscarf, caring nature, your determination… he wanted it to be his. he wanted you to flourish with him. he wanted to be the reason you blossom.

with your unwavering strength at his side, he could conquer the world. fuck the championship, he wanted it all to be with you. maddening thoughts would consume him day and night after that first weekend, knowing there was only more to come throughout the season. he could only imagine how these months would fare, but he didn’t bide into fantasies. he would expect the unexpected and let you consume him entirely.

────────────

miami was everything you thought it to be. bustling with life, parties, music. it was a stark contrast to what your life at university looked like— though you didn’t mind the occasional outing, of course, especially when lando was at your side.

he was a beam of light crafted by the gods of the sun, brightening every room he stepped in. he was utterly magnetic, drawing others around him, letting them have a joyous laugh. it made you giddy, proud, that he could hold himself so well in the mediocrity of the crowds. while you etched yourself at his side, clamoring for his shadow, he held you tightly at every opportunity.

his hand at your back, clutching for dear life. warm and soothing, you’d lean into him, clutching the hem of his black mclaren shirt.

it had been a friday night. his free practices had been stellar as you watched eagerly from the mclaren paddock. you’d earned a status of earning a headset, your consistent attendance rivaling tidal waves in the media. you always told yourself not to look, not to peek, but you couldn’t help it.

accounts were created in your honor. in your fan name. the mclaren fans loved you, and you loved them. the video of your first appearance at the paddock had gone viral within the community. your sensibility for adhering to culture norms gained you rapport. though you didn’t know why— why wouldn’t you dress appropriately? it grudged you how low the media could stoop, but you were honored nonetheless to gain such positive attention.

of course there were the negatives. some were born to hate and you could live with that. many thought you were using lando for his money, just another stupid girl who didn’t deserve to be at these races. you kept yourself modest from the media with a private account, similar to charles girlfriend, and found that it was better to remain a mystery to those who weren’t a part of your life. you owed them nothing.

though you never breathed these negatives to lando. he would be furious and absolutely say something in public. the last thing you wanted was for him to fight your own battles, yet you thought this nothing to be more of a playground spat. you could handle it; lando doesn’t call you sting for no reason.

on the bright side, you had a steady, growing relationship with oscar’s girlfriend, and even considered each other to be best friends.

though lando would disagree ardently, reminding you that he was always first, no matter the circumstance. he’d whine like a child and pout. how could you resist that face? even when you would playfully hold up four fingers and raise your brows, his number four, contrary to one, he’d scoff and laugh, your ability to see through him was astonishing.

at the club tonight there were bottles and bottles of champagne being opened and passed around in the driver's honor. in your time there you had grown close to all drivers, except a few give or take. but while you carved relationships with the boys, it was the women you sought refuge in.

charles' girlfriend, a tanned brunette sweetheart, would bake for you. in return you would host wine nights with the other women. you’d become accompanied with her new furry companion, little leo leclerc, and you fell in love with him instantly. his little licks of appreciation, his tiny wagging tail. gosh, you loved the pup.

carlos’ partner, rebecca, had intimidated you at the beginning. she was tall, fierce, blue eyes unwavering with confidence as she spoke of deep experience throughout her years in the paddock. it took her longer to adjust to your presence, feeling doubtful of your friendship with the british driver, but changed her mind when she saw you dehumidifying lando’s race suit that hung in the tents in japan’s humid weather.

no one stood around you whilst you did that. no one asked you to. you did it because it was ruthlessly hot and you didn’t want lando to contract a heatstroke.

lily held a place in your heart that none of these girls could truly replace. she was your rock from the first race. you both learned together, wrought each other of the nail biting habits, and laughed amongst the radio calls between the pair of drivers.

the rap music thundered the floor you stood on. heels tall and encompassing, you’d admit plainly you got used to the treatment lando awarded you. nothing but the best, he told you one evening under the moonlight. the words were imprinted in your mind.

alexandra, charles’ sweetheart, called your name.

lando’s grip tensed at your back. you could feel it. you glanced at him, then to alexandra.

“come dance~!” she swayed, floreale spritz in her hand. she egged you forward with her hand, and you loosened yourself from lando’s side.

you had no obligation to stay by him. it’s not like you were dating.

though many would disagree with that.

you mumbled something incomprehensible to lando. he bent his head down towards your mouth, angling his ear to hear your voice.

“will i see you on the dance floor tonight, mr. norris?” you teased, body warm from the cocktail you downed. his head turned, a signature smirk daunting his face.

“want me to?” he said, bringing his lips dangerously close to your ear. you shivered, his breath hot and wet as it graced the curves of your cheeks.

“only if his highness can make time,” you looked up at him through your weary, drunken eyes. something shifted, then, as you stared up at his green eyes. it was dark in the club, but not as dark as his stare. it intimidated you, but not nearly as much as it intrigued you.

“always make time for you baby,” he said, tone playful and airy but it was more than that for you. baby. he was just drunk, wasn’t he? he didn’t know what he was talking about. didn’t know he was talking to you. don’t let it get to your head. “just tell me when. think charles is dying to dance.”

you looked over your shoulder to see charles being teased by sweet alexandra as she shook her head, pointing at you. this was a girls dance, that told you.

before you turned, your hand cupped lando’s neck. he grumbled; you felt it through your palm. it was a nonverbal okay. you spun, threading yourself out of lando’s grasp. he let his hand linger for as long as he could before you slipped away, the imprint of his hand leaving you bare and cold.

it was quickly replaced by the rambunctious action on the dance floor. lit up with multicolored tiles, alexandra grabbed your hand and raised them above your heads, swaying to the heat of the music.

she was a natural beauty. no wonder charles fell in love with her.

you mimicked her dance moves to the best of your ability, hands sliding down your waist, through your scalp and over your head.

alexandra laughed and sashayed, giddy with fun and life. you did the same, unable to withstand her pulsing vibrato. you twirled her around you, she did the same. heads turned at your giggles, a few grunts of laughs had you looking over your shoulder.

the men of the club began to swarm. but in the moment, you didn’t care. let them gawk if they so wish. you felt untouchable.

your body slid parallel to alexandra, hips gyrating with an orbit of its own cosmic makeup. she grabbed onto your waist pulling you close when you rocked from side to side. your hands slid up your neck, down your chest— exposed from the evening gown you chose for the evening festivities.

the swarm intensified. one man attempted to twirl in front of you and alexandra, reaching to touch your forearm, but that’s where the line was drawn.

a body pushed itself between you and the man, alexandra standing up straight behind you. you recognized him instantly— signature smell bringing you an insatiable comfort that soothed your soul.

lando stood before you, face close to yours. he didn’t look pissed off…just…cocky?

before alexandra peeled away, you tilted your head back to her shoulder. she whispered, “needy, needy, needy…”

charles whisked her away for a dance. you didn’t get to respond. there wasn’t much for you to say though, watching how happy alexandra became when charles wrapped his arms around her. you felt sour. what was this feeling?

“you didn’t ask me,” he said into your ear, bringing your attention back to him. little to your knowledge he watched as you glanced between the happy ferrari couple, your face scrunching and hand coming to cover your lips.

you gave him a quizzical look.

“to dance!” he laughed, big and goofy. but there was an edge to his tone. was he peeved? did he think that you forgot about him?

“wanted you to come get me.” you slurred, lifting your arms to throw them over his muscled shoulders. when you were met with a hard surface. your eyes bulged at just how big he’s gotten this year alone. it made you want to touch him more, explore his body behind the polo mclaren shirt.

he raised his brows at you. “yeah?”

you pursed your lips together, letting your eyes flutter. “wanted you to hunt me down, little lando.”

his hands fell to your hips, fingertips functioning your skin. his demeanor shifted. your words igniting such a vicious flame inside his heart that burned for you and you alone. you were practically fucking edging him with your words. he wished it was the other way around. how insatiable your screams could be, the little noises you’d make.

you warmed even more when his head dove into your neck, lips parting so you could feel his tongue. “‘ve already got you.”

“do you?” you challenge. lando loves a good challenge.

he tucked you against his body, saying nothing more.

“dance with me.” it wasn’t a question. but a statement.

rolling your eyes, annoyed that he didn’t answer you, you pivoted on your heel. your back against his abdomen. you’d surely regret this on the morrow, but that was a problem for then. now, you only felt sturdy as you leaned your weight into lando. he supported you with ease.

dancing with him was always the easy part. he knew how to move his body, sway his hips, and lure any girl into the trap of his toned and tanned arms. but it was never you up until now. you’d always dance with the other drivers, girls, friends, but never him. it was something far too intimate for you, but you weren’t sure how lando thought about it.

but your friends noticed.

rebecca snuck up behind alexandra, carlos at her arm.

“look at him,” she gestured to lando who was entirely smitten with your let-loose expression. his hands were tight around your hips, legs spread to cage you against him. a fortress came with the name lando norris, and you were his queen.

“entirely in love.” rebecca concluded, and alexandra agreed with a nod.

“you should talk to her.” charles suggested, clearly feeling the pain his friend was going through, yearning at a distance.

“and say what, char?” alexandra asked her partner. “do you love him like he loves you?”

“is that a bad idea?” charles retorted and was met with silence between the two girls.

“we’ll figure something out.”

against your bodice, you felt the hard imprint of his dick blistering against his jeans. but it didn’t frighten you, not like his touches used to. your tour of the grand prix’s continued your closeness amongst one another, so…

your hips continued to sway, egged on by how lando ran his arms up your waist. it felt good–his hands, the tension woven into them. he felt good.

you turned around to face him, letting your hands wrap around his neck. he looked euphoric beneath the dim lighting, rbg hues collectively making him look like he was glowing. he was, in truth, because of you. always because of you.

the two of you were making eye contact now. not just any, but you thought it was the most intense of your life. his eyes rimmed with red, exhaustion you thought, and you suddenly felt guilty for keeping him out for so long. it’s not like you weren’t tired yourself.

you raised your head to his ears. “we should go.”

he narrowed his eyes, looking disappointed that the festivities were ending so soon. “you want to?”

your head nodded. one hand came down to brush against his hand, taking it between yours. “tired.”

the alcohol had taken its course through you. head pounding with a soft thump, you clasped your hand with lando’s. he returned the same force, swiping his thumb over your knuckles. he didn’t hesitate when you said you were tired. that was that for him. he had no other reason to stay.

“just wanna say bye to them,” you said, making your way over to rebecca and alexandra. they turned to you when you had lando in tow, entirely at your whims.

“we’re meeting tomorrow?” you confirmed. both girls nodded, a shared glance between them making you feel uneasy. alexandra told you to come to ferrari’s paddock. you’d nod your head before they both raised their brows at each other again, sheepish smiles flashing in your direction.

“what?” you prodded. they smiled at you again.

“nothing. we just can’t wait for tomorrow.” rebecca soothed your concerns, though it didn’t prevail as much as you hoped.

“that was weird.” lando said into your ear when you were close to the exit.

“right?” you were glad he noticed. he always noticed these things. too observant for his own good.

before you stepped foot out of the club, you turned back when you felt a thump. like a body had fallen to the ground. you stopped in your tracks.

the man that grabbed your arm laid face flat on the ground. lando looked down at you, looking smug. though he didn’t hit him.

“must’ve tripped.” he shrugged.

“should watch where he’s going.” you said, knowing that he didn’t just trip.

“guess so.”

────────────

saturday afternoon you were standing beside rebecca and alexandra when qualifying started. you wore a casually chic outfit. pants, a shirt, matching accessories. the stylist lando hired was getting to know you better. she understood what patterns you liked, your sense of aesthetic. it felt like a homecoming.

“so,” alexandra crossed her legs as all three of you sat on the couch. “what happened with lando last night?”

you were taken back. “what do you mean?”

they exchanged a look.

“you left together!” rebecca held up her hands as if pointing out the obvious. she was, really.

“so…?”

“so…! he went back to your room?” alexandra pleaded in wanting to know details. details of an extravagant night that didn’t happen.

“we share a hotel room,” they gasped. your hands thrown up in defense. “not like that! he gets two bedrooms for us.”

the girls settled, not looking entirely pleased.

“besides,” you sighed. “we’re friends. he doesn’t see me like that.”

so confident

alexandra and rebecca burst out in a laugh. “are you serious?” alexandra wondered.

you bristled, brow raised, wondering what she meant. “yes…?”

rebecca sighed your name, “have you seen the way he looks at you–?”

“or how he follows you around like a puppy.”

“how he pays for everything for you.”

“oh! how he scares any man off who tries to talk to you.”

your mind went numb. is this true? you thought lando was like that with everyone– kind, considerate, conscious. but as you sat there considering their words, just wondering how much truth was attached to them.

“are…are you sure?” you hesitated about finding the answer. what would that mean for you?

“absolutely.”

“one hundred percent.” they said at the same time. so this is what they wanted to talk about.

shit. maybe you were blind. it had gotten tempestuous over the course of these last few months. his growing attentiveness, his softness, his eager eyes whenever you’d make him coffee in the morning. no one makes it as good as you, he’d say.

would it be so bad that you…weren’t upset with it? you loved being friends with lando. he was always there to listen to you, support you. he cherished your time together. but what if there was a slim chance that you were wrong? that you were in over your head?

the last thing you wanted was to be embarrassed.

“what do i do?”

the ferrari girlfriends exchanged looks.

────────────

lando qualified in fifth for the miami grand prix. you thought he did absolutely wonderful. it was a close quali, he was pushing his car to its limits, but it wasn’t enough in the final stretch. a sigh left you as you were watching the tv, lily at your side.

oscar placed just below lando at sixth. “i don’t get it,” you said.

lily looked at you, confused.

“they should be faster. mathematically, i mean.”

lily was an engineering graduate. the question you brought forth had her perking up. you could see the cogs turning in her head.

“the physical body of the car offsets it.” she tapped her thumb against her elbow, arms crossed. she raised a hand to bite at her thumb, but you stopped her.

“you’re right. i don’t know–” you just had a weird feeling about this race. about lando. what rebecca and alexandra said…”lily.”

“yeah?”

“do…” you took a light breath in, suddenly intimidated by the answer you could receive. “do you think lando is in love with me?

a beat of silence.

“without a doubt.”

the mclaren plated with number four rolled into the garage. lando jumped out, taking off the neck guard, then his helmet. his hair had gotten longer this month. curls were starting to frame over his forehead. his stubble was more prominent. he was tanner. had his jawline always been that sharp?

he patted his engineer on the back but was looking for something. his eyes were darting all around the room, concern beginning to encompass his face. until he found you and lily, you, in the corner with her. you looked absolutely beautiful today. you had been worried about your outfit, wondering if the colors were too contrasting, or if they washed you out.

lando didn’t think there was any color that could wash out the beauty of your skin. you were too bright for that, always glowing.

when you saw him, you beamed. but it was different this time. the way he looks at you. how is he looking at me?

he took a few steps forward before you met him half way. your fingers found the zipper to his jumper, the action was new for you and lando. he welcomed it, looking down at you with a smile.

“you did amazing.” you breathed, undoing the zipper. though you couldn’t reach his eyes with your own. your hand shook against the zipper. he noticed, face falling with a slight frown.

“are you alright?”

“perfect,” you answered a bit too quickly. you still haven’t looked at him. you went to turn away, but he grabbed your elbow with a light grip.

“hey, look at me.” he pleaded, voice entirely too soft and gentle for your state right now. the way he follows you around like a puppy. but why did you blush? why did you fiddle with your fingers, bite your lip?

you looked up into those lovely pools of green. they shimmered so elegantly. your breath caught in your throat.

“what happened? did–”

“do you want dinner tonight?” you blurted, suddenly feeling stupid and small. you kept shrinking with each passing second that he didn’t answer. little did you know, he felt like the earth was flipped on his head. was he dreaming? did you ask to have dinner with him? surely you just meant with all of your friends…

“we always have dinner,” he said with a light laugh. you felt shivers creep up your arms. Goosebumps.

“me. just you and me.”

“oh.” oh? that’s all that lando could say? yes. that was it. his brain was short circuiting, unsure of what you were inferring. was there a deeper meaning to this? was he thinking too hard? you’ve gotten dinner just the two of you before. but not in a long time.

he was absolutely speechless as he looked at you, heart racing in his chest. It was just about to pop out when you opened your mouth to retract your statement and apologize.

“what’s the dress code?” he bit his lip to hold back his childlike grin.

“fancy.” you snipped back, feeling entirely too giddy that he seemed to come alive once again. you thought he would reject the idea, a part of you hoped that he did– silly, right? but you were terrified of confrontation. confrontation that rebecca and alexandra could be right.

“fancy?” he said, taking a step closer to you.

“did i stutter?” your tone was playful as you raised your brows. his tongue got caught on his teeth as he pursed his lips.

“wanted to make sure i get to see you in a dress.” the comment slipped from his lips easily, suavely. you blushed again. he noticed, surely. it was a rare occurrence that you blushed, even rarer for him to be the reason. what was this feeling in his chest? pride? pride that he could be the one to make you bashful. he felt like a king, wanting to conquer the skirts of your heart.

“maybe i’ll let you pick it out.”

lando’s face couldn’t light up any further. what did he do to award such treatment? such…such…god, he was entirely enamored with you. there was not a moment that went by that he didn’t wish you were his. he wanted this to be the norm. whatever it was. was it a date? was he supposed to hold your hand, kiss you? god, god, god, if he got to kiss you…

“deal.”

you were back in the hotel in an instant. the clock read 6pm, and you told lando no later than 7:30. both of you were in the kitchen filling up your bottles of water, cracking jokes between each other. when you were refreshed and relaxed, you spoke.

“still picking my dress?” you lead him to the door to your room, opening it for him. he followed behind you without a second thought. his eyes weary, glossy. like he was about to cry or something.

you stood at the doorway to the room. it was a chaotic mess of clothes, ruined sheets, open bottles of water. if lando noticed the state, he didn’t say anything. thank god.

but he did

lando was keen on noticing every detail of how you lived. your habits. it was the only way he could figure out how your mind worked– the spectacular thing that it was. he turned his head over his shoulder to you, gesturing towards the closet. you nodded.

he opened the door to the closet, dresses hanging by the dozens. damn, the stylist really put her money’s worth, didn’t she? rather his money, but if it meant for you to look jaw-droppingly stunning, who was he to complain?

the british driver ran his fingers through the numerous dresses before him. different combinations of cotton, silk, satin. they all felt different at his fingertips, yet you would always be sweet to him. but something else caught his attention–

a lace bodice piece, lingerie, that hung low from a hanger. he waited a beat. another. he pulled it with both his hands, showing you the hanger with a curious, raised brow.

you flushed.

never in your life did you run as fast as you just had. you tried to snatch the hanger from him, but he held it high above your head. he was laughing.

“lando!” you screeched, trying to climb up his body to reach it. it only incited a more intense laugh from him. he hummed.

“what’s this for, then? hmm?”

“i–” you stuttered, not really being able to know what to say. “she gave it to me!” the stylist.

his laugh quieted. “did she?”

“yes! if, you know, i dunno–” you rubbed your arms together anxiously. “if i ever met a guy. or something. it was stupid!”

you tried to get it back from him. he didn’t relent. you stomped your foot.

“lan, please…” you whispered, looking up at him with his unreadable stare. lando was always the type to know how he felt through his eyes, but now…you didn’t know what you were looking at.

“did you?”

“did i what?” you huffed, crossing your arms.

“meet a guy?”

you looked away, embarrassed. “no. not like i was trying, though.”

he relaxed, noticeably.

keeping all these guys away from you…

“it was just a fun idea. now will you pick something? else i’ll change my mind.” you threaten him. he hung the lingerie piece back up, surrendering instantly.

you headed to the on-suite bathroom, starting to get ready for your night out. though his tone echoed in your mind– “did you?” – he sounded…deflated. bested, by some indomitable force. you had a growing epiphany that the ferrari girls were right, and you were just too damn scared to admit that such a beautiful man could be interested in you of all people.

lando knocked on the door frame, watching as you finished up your look. you glanced at him through the mirror, then turning to see the dress he held. it was a long, black dress with lace flowers embroidered into it. it even had sleeves, lace ones, that could keep you warm with the miami breeze. it got rather chilly when the sun went down.

his choice was rather impressive. dare you say that you liked it. you grabbed the fabric piece from him, taking it off the hanger and leaving it on the counter. it was beautiful– must’ve cost a fucking fortune– breathtaking, though.

did you even deserve to wear something so elegant?

“gimme a sec,” you said, shooing him out of the bathroom before you changed. the dress slipped on with ease, much to your shock. but its downside–the zipper. you tried for about three seconds to get it up in the back, but you gave up.

you opened the door.

“lan?” you called for him, voice whimpering for his attention. he shifted from your bed, scrolling on his phone. he looked up immediately, eyes widening at the site before him. you were absolutely breathtaking. his hands twitched, desperate to touch you.

and you weren’t opposed, you thought, given your insolence towards any patience you had for the zipper. ‘test the waters,’ is what alexandra had said to you when you asked her for advice. ‘see how he reacts.’ rebecca followed up.

testing the waters

that’s what you were doing

you turned your back to him, shimmying out of the bathroom. “zip me?”

“yeah. yeah of course.” he launched to his feet. the dress was so low down the curve of your back. he wanted to trace your spine with his fingers. he was gentle with his touch, warm to the skin. you absentmindedly leaned into him, back arching.

he zipped the piece with ease, letting his fingers trace the back of your neck. you shivered, goosebumps crawling up your shoulders. he felt them, quickly glancing at the side of your face to gauge your reaction. was he going crazy? your body was so receptive to him. it was addictive.

you pulled away. his hands felt empty, your back felt cold.

“thanks,” you smiled bashfully, unable to look him in the eyes. so fucking cute, he thought. “go get dressed, will you? i’m getting hungry.”

lando bolted from the room, and you managed a short laugh to yourself. while you were alone, you glanced at yourself in the mirror. you still felt entirely undeserving of such a gown.

you slipped on your shining black heels and had to adjust to their feeling. you were never good at walking in them, but this tour was a playground for you to learn how. you wanted to learn. you felt badass walking around like you had pointy claws.

in your hands was a matching leather clutch, simple and handheld. you waited patiently for lando, though it took him barely no time at all to look so put together.

you heard the clink of his loafers before he made himself known. turning around, you got a good look at the man you’ve gotten to know over these past few months.

it was chilling the way your body electrified. heat pooled in your lower belly, tingling with lust. he was dressed in a black dress shirt, few buttons undone revealing his chains, with a black jacket and taupe pants. his loafers were black with a silver buckle at the center of each shoe.

he was fiddling with the cufflinks at his jacket when he noticed you gawking at the shape of his abdomen, to his exposed neck. he didn’t want to say a word, afraid that it’d break your moment of admiration. that you would never look at him in such a…virtuous manner.

but he could never control his tongue.

“my eyes are up here, darling.” you snapped your head up, blushing. you crossed your legs over each other, leaning against the kitchen isle.

darling

you were caught red handed. there’s no point in pretending. your blood burned hot in your veins, the petname coming as second nature from his lips. you wanted to hear it again.

“didn’t know you cleaned up so well.” you pushed off of the isle with ease, waiting for him to join your side. “used to all the sweat and pajamas.”

he tsked at you, sheepish at your witty remarks. he hoped that no matter what it would always be like this; you and him, full of banter and fun.

“and you look…agreeable.” his smile was bright, mischievous. you pushed his arm away as he came to rest his hand on your lower back. “kidding!”

he lowered his voice and connected your eyes with his. “you’re breathtaking.”

and for the first time, you believed him.

────────────

the restaurant he chose was more than you could imagine. with high ceilings, a valet, lights in the shape of mystical orbs strung together on the walls. the floors were made of marble, the tiling on the sidings were matte black.

but lando didn’t give a fuck about the decorations. he was staring at you. you in your beautiful dress, carrying yourself so elegantly. you were born to fit into this life, whether or not you believe you deserve it. he would do anything to prove that you did. that you were worthy of every dime he spent.

“right this way, madam.” the waiter ushered you, but you didn’t move until you held out your hand for lando to grab. you’ve never asked him to sober.

he didn’t hesitate, never did, and latched onto your hand with a warming grip. you tugged him along through the restaurant while he kept getting distracted from you and how you walked so well in those high heeled shoes. he remembers a time when you couldn’t. and look at you now.

the waiter seated you at your two person table. lando pulled out the chair for you. you smiled appreciatively.

“aren’t you the gentleman.” you acknowledged his kindness, his face brightening as he seated himself with ease. he pulled into the table, leaning over it. you did the same, eager to meet his face with a bashful smile and your hands rubbing together.

lando looked nervous, but most of all happy. he is happy. to be sitting here with you, in your presence, and most of all, you wanted to be here with him. he didn’t miss how you leaned towards him, your legs crossing over one another as the point of one of your heels grazed his knee.

“so tell me,” he picked up his water glass, taking a sip. you watched the way his adam’s apple bobbed, the water running through him. you gulped. “why dinner?”

your hand touched the back of your neck. “‘m not allowed to want to spend time with you?”

“didn’t say that, did i?” he placed the glass down. “all this, i mean–” he gestured to your dress, his shirt, the restaurant. “you tryin’ to tell me something, darling?”

one of your fingers ran over your lip. darling. god, it sounded so good coming from him. it put you in such a state of heaven, feeling entirely weightless in his presence. you were staring at him speechless, before you heard a clatter of glass behind you. you were ripped from the safety of your trance.

“maybe,” you muttered, looking away for him briefly before attempting to switch the topic. “anyways-”

“what was that?” he said languidly, the softness of his tone unrecognizable. his eyes were blown wide, taking in every subtle movement that you made. you felt like you were under a microscope being analyzed by his prerogative. you felt stripped bare– but that wasn’t such a bad thing, was it? no. no it wasn’t. the thought had you blushing. what weren’t you blushing about today?

“the race,” you continued on, disregarding his questioning. “are you nervous?”

he leaned back in his chair in defeat. fine, if she wanted to play it that way. he knew exactly what you said. but he wanted to hear it again. he will hear it again if it is the last thing he ever hears. you said “maybe” and didn’t brush him off with a scoff. his advances towards you had always been playful and light, but you never indulged him so…earnestly. he was caught off guard. in fact, he’s been caught off guard…a lot these past few days. something has shifted–

but what?

“am i supposed to be?” he wondered. you never really asked him those kinds of things. he always had your full reassurance.

“no. it’ll be just like any other, won’t it?” you felt like you were talking out of your fucking ass. you, all of a sudden, didn’t know how to talk to your best friend. it was gibberish, dry, god, how the fuck did he put up with you beforehand?

you began fidgeting with your fingers. his eyes latched on the movement.

“are you nervous?”

you swallowed the lump in your throat, unable to look at him. you didn’t know he leaned in again until you felt his knees bump with yours. you jumped, but sunk into his light touch.

“i dunno– no? no, why would i be nervous?” you continued fidgeting. “it’s just…it’s all so dangerous, isn’t it? i’ve done the math before. at your speed if–”

“hey.” he cut you off, grabbing both your hands. “hey.” he breathed, looking at you with his widened, sparkling green eyes. your hands were sweaty against his, a byproduct of your anxiety, but he didn’t seem to care when he brought them to his lips, gracing you with a sweet kiss on the top of your palms.

your breath hitched in your throat.

“didn’t know that you worried about me so much.” he gave you a light laugh, his eyes crinkling with a smile. he bit his lip.

“what? of course i do,” you looked at him in disbelief, your hands still held in his. “i mean– why wouldn’t i? we’re friends, aren’t we?”

‘aren’t we?’ was branded into lando’s heart. he swallowed, pulling back and letting your hands fall to the table. “‘course we are.”

“you are both such a beautiful couple.” your waiter approached. you bristled, glanced quickly to lando, and an idea bloomed in your head. test the waters, the girls said. “what can i get for you lovebirds?”

lando sat up straight to correct him, but you stopped him. “you are too kind,” polite smile was gracing as you ran your fingers over the menu. “what are the specials?”

lando’s jaw dropped. he shut it before the flies flew in, but he wouldn’t forget this. no amount of alcohol or fantasies could recreate that feeling. this feeling. you glanced at him while you were ordering, puckering your lips.

god, he wanted to kiss you. Ruin you. make you his.

dinner went smoothly despite a perpetuous tension lingering over the pair of you. you’ve never fiddled so much before with anything; your dress, napkin, glass. but you were still there with him, and he always knew the perfect way to make you laugh. you wanted to kiss him that night, beneath the glimmer of the moon, but you couldn’t do it. you couldn’t muster the courage to break the barrier.

but you would, in time.

on your way out of the restaurant you were keen on grabbing his hand first. you felt him tense and he covered his mouth with his free hand, surely hiding a cheeky smile.

the cameras were flashing when you came down the steps. you’d be trending on every social media platform, especially with how bright your smile was, and how tightly you gripped his hand.

────────────

race mornings were always chaotic. but you somehow managed to make it to the track at the end of the f2 race with lando at your side. In the mclaren hospitality room, you straightened his collar of the fireguard, taking a deep inhale of his subtle cologne and natural scent. you felt dizzy, struck by the desire to run your hands over his chest.

your touch lingered longer than it normally did. he noticed. what didn’t he notice?

especially after your stunt last night. he didn’t get a wink of sleep. he was up all night staring at his phone, watching the pictures light up his feed. he wasn’t embarrassed, shocked, nor ashamed. the british driver was entirely elated. with your graceful composure, assuredness in holding him at your side.

he scrolled through the comments, too, but there was not one negative thing he could find. spare a few comments that he had to bite his tongue on responding to, you were gaining an overwhelming amount of support from his fans.

your fans.

there were accounts made in your honor. outfit accounts, update accounts, people with your face as their profile picture. he scrolled through every one of them. he was maddeningly obsessed.

but what changed? why were you acting this way? not that he was upset by this change…but your inability to tell him…tell him what was going on frightened him. he felt anxious.

“what’s going on with you?” he brought his face closer to yours, lowering his voice so no one else could hear the both of you.

“nothing. it’s nothing.” your tone was hastened, weary.

“it doesn’t sound like–”

“we’re ready for you, lando.” his engineer interrupted the two of you with a polite smile.

the british driver sighed.

you placed your hands on his chest. “i’m fine.” though it did little to soothe his woes.

he looked at you weary eyed, brows turnt upward with concern. he didn’t believe you.

“i just…” your hand trailed up his neck, thumb caressing his bottom lip. he stayed perfectly still beneath your fingertips. “really want you to win.”

you placed a soft kiss on his opposite cheek.

“you got this, lan.”

he kissed your thumb that was on his lips and said nothing else before he jumped into the mclaren.

────────────

you were on absolute edge the entire race. it was an uphill battle. you’ve never been seen so anxious with your headset on, tapping your feet anxiously against the concrete. arms crossed over your chest, it was down to the last few laps. lando had been hard running in first.

first. lando was in first.

you could feel this in your blood. he was born for this.

and when he crossed that fucking finish line, you’ve never felt so much joy in your entire life.

he yipped and punched his fist in the air, his screams were pure music to your ears.

his engineers came to pat you on the back, gauging your all too excited reaction. lily was at your side, too, jumping and giving you a hug.

lando jumped from his parked car, ripping off his helmet and neck guard. he was on top of the fucking world when he jumped atop the crowd of mclaren workers, them holding him up with ease and chanting his name.

you stood beside lily, hand covering your mouth to stifle your sobs. you couldn’t be more proud of him than in this moment.

he caught your eye from above the crowd, watching the tears fall down your face. when he jumped off his celebratory pile, he ran over to you.

you threw your arms around his neck, launching yourself against him. he caught you, he always would, and held you tight. he would never let you go. never. your tears wet the base of his neck.

“lando…” you said into his race suit that smelled of burnt rubber and sweat. you didn’t care. this was your lando.

he pulled back, looking at you with concern. it was a characteristic look for him these past few days.

but you wanted that to go away.

you wanted nothing but his happiness. his joy. his passions. to see him on top of the world. but you wanted to be right there with him, side by side.

your lips were on his before he blinked. he was taken back, surprised, and face dripping in sweat. your hands gripped around his muscular neck, tugging him to you. you wanted more. you wanted this. this over anything. him over anything.

he returned your kiss when he was done pinching himself. your lips were entirely too sweet. luckily he had a sweet tooth.

his hand cupped the back of your head, tilting you towards him for a better, deeper angle. you moaned into him as he sucked on your bottom lip, teeth grazing the sensitive skin. you were floating, floating in the world of lando norris. you never wished to return to the ground.

but you did. the cheers around you got louder. you realized you would too if this kept up.

the new grand prix winner wasn’t finished, though, when his free hand gripped your hip. you stifled a giggle by smiling into his mouth, catching your breath. “lan,” you chuckled.

“don’t tell me this is a dream.” he had tears swelling in his eyes, lips plump from your kiss. “i might just have to–”

you cupped his cheek.

“real.” you assured him. “i’m real. this–” you brought his gloved hand to your heart. “is real.”

he bit his lip, though it did little to conceal his smile.

“drink some champagne for me.”

he kissed you once more. a telltale we aren’t done.

and you sure as hell weren’t.

────────────

“don’t understand why we’re celebrating out there,” lando gestured to the door as you were putting your heels on in a hurry. “when we could be here.” he pulled you to him, your back flushed against his chest. you leaned into him, sighing.

“because your friends want to celebrate,” you finished putting on your shoes. “me included.”

lando’s hand tightened around your waist. “you’re not my friend.”

your brows upturned when you spun around to face him. your expression was sickeningly innocent. “‘m not?” your hands landed on his chest, turning your head to the side with fluttering lashes.

“absolute minx,” lando seethed with a hearty laugh, leaning in to kiss you. your noses brushed together, his lips coming to graze yours. but you smiled and pulled away from him before he could taste your lipstick.

he made a move to pull you back to him by your elbow, but you gave him a look. “we’re going to your celebrations, lan. don’t care what you have t’say.”

he groaned, his head falling forward to your shoulder. your hands raked through his hair, down the back of his neck. he practically purred like a fucking kitten under your fingertips.

“and as far as i know,” you kissed his temple. “we’re still friends. haven’t asked me to be your girlfriend, did you?” your hands curled in his hair, pulling him to meet your eye. he bit his lip, blushing!

“you’re blushing, baby!” you cooed, reaching to squeeze one of his cheeks.

“can’t blame me,” he muttered, head darting back into the crook of your neck and leaving soft kisses down to your collarbones. “the most beautiful woman has her hands all over me…what am i supposed to do with m’self?” he chuckled and you felt his teeth against your sensitive skin. you sucked in a breath with a smile.

“ask her,” you lowered your voice, whispering into him. “i’m sure she’ll say yes.”

“would she?” his head perked up, flushed and warm from your neck.

“in every universe, lan.” your humorous tone turned serious. he gulped, adam’s apple bobbing when he felt the weight of your words. “you know that gravity is the only force that can travel through any dimension? any time, any place, it will be found.”

he was listening to you intensely, voice cracking as he spoke. “i would find you.”

your eyes widened at him.

“through any black hole, space phenomena, wormhole,” his breath fanned your cheeks. “i’ll always find you.”

you leaned in to kiss him. he met you halfway, swallowing your mouth with his. you let him push you up against the counter, your hand gripping the ledge so you didn’t tumble over. you opened your mouth and his tongue slipped in without hesitating. he explored the corners of your mouth, the shapes of your teeth, your own tongue.

your moan was deep from your chest when you felt his hand start to slip up your thigh. his pinky scathing the fabric of your thin underwear. you gasped when he ran trailed over your cunt, already wet and swollen under his touch.

"all for me, baby?" he chuckled into your neck, soothing your cunt of its tumultuous ache.

you nodded, but that wasn't enough.

"words. need words."

"fuck. yes, lan, all for you." you moaned when he flexed a finger inside of you, the sweet burn was tender to your growing coil in your belly. but things just can't go smoothly, can they?

you were brought back to earth when your phone began to ring. fuck.

you tried pushing lando off of you, but he grumbled against your lips. you smiled, but detached from him. “lan,” he shook his head, refusing to let you go. “lan, it’s probably everyone wondering where you are.”

“don’t care.”

“you should.”

“don’t.” his mind didn’t change, finger still exploring you before you shook him off.

you kissed the tip of his nose. “we won’t stay for long, okay? besides…”

there was a sheepish look on your face. “i have a boyfriend to show off.”

lando didn’t need to be told twice to get you swept off your feet and into his car.

────────────

the entire drive there his hand was on your thigh, so high that he traced the lining of your black laced underwear with his pinky. you gripped his wrist tightly, but said nothing the entire ride there.

when you pulled up, a valet man opened the door for you. you stepped out and were met with ten times the amount of flashing cameras that you were used to. you got this. with a straight posture and elegant– as elegant as you could muster– composure, you waited for lando to meet at your side.

you weren’t disappointed when you felt his hand on your lower back, guiding you through the crowds. shouts were sent your way, his way; “lando! lando! is this your girlfriend? are you dating? what’s her name?”

he made sure to answer only one question with your nod of approval before he climbed the steps to the nightclub.

“lando! is this your girlfriend?”

“yes,” he said with his charming nature, turning back to look at you, starstruck by your beauty. you smiled back at him, hand caressing his chest. the cameras went wild at your natural pose with each other.

inside the club was much better. with a restricted guest list of close friends and family, you were at ease. when you entered you were met with all three of your closest girlfriends. lily, rebecca, and alexandra. they squealed when they saw you, sprinting in your direction leaving their boyfriends in distress by their absence.

“congratulations, lando!” lily said upon her arrival first, then glancing to you. “and an even more congratulations is in order? are you fucking kidding me!” she said with utter glee. you leaned further into lando’s side if that was possible. he relaxed at your touch, hand loose at your hip.

“i knew it.” rebecca said with certainty.

“she really did,” alexandra confirmed.

you rolled your eyes at the pair of them.

“i’ll get us drinks, baby.” lando whispered into your ear, his nose jutting against your hair. he gave you a kiss to your head and departed from your side, meeting up with the guys, too.

“tell us everything!” alexandra jumped up and down.

“there’s not much to tell.” you shrugged, hands thrown up in defense. “i just thought about what you said. you were right. i was so, so blind.” wasted time was a fear of yours.

“we’re proud of you anyways. have you seen all the paparazzi for you?” rebecca opened her phone, scrolling endlessly through her timeline. “i fucking hate you. you look perfect in every one of them.”

“oh please,” you brushed her off. “have you looked in a mirror, becca?”

it was a stellar night. you found yourself on the dance floor shortly after with your favorite drink in your hand, per lando’s stellar memory of your order.

without another moment longer, your hips were moving over lando’s on the dance floor, his hands loose on your hips as he ran them up and down your body. you decided you weren’t going to have more than one drink tonight, preferring to remember every moment of this celebration.

the song was a bumping rap tune, easy to follow along with your suave moves. “suave,” you were just letting loose against your now boyfriend. the word was still foreign to you, but you felt increasingly giddy at the mention.

lando, though? he was a changed man. not only did your kiss bring him ultimate luck before his race, he now has you at his side. he’ll do anything to keep you there. fuck, how did he get so lucky? he had a feeling something was going on, but never would he think it would be your lips on his after his race. he can still taste your tears.

you cried for him the entire time he was up on that podium, absolutely relishing in the national anthem played in his honor. and he could only keep his eyes on you. your glittering, magnificent eyes that sparkled beneath the miami sun. they sparkled for him, only him, on this marvelous day.

and he would let everyone know that you shined for him. that you were his. while he may have won his first race, you were better than any trophy he could ever get.

eventually, everyone raised their glasses for lando and cheer’s to his victory. you held your glass high, downing the entire thing. he did the same, only keeping to a few so he could see you as clear as day. he felt the same way…he never wanted to forget a moment with you.

you faced him now, body still swaying to the music. with your chest brushing against his, you felt a growing heat over your neck. as the night went on, the sweatier lando became. the more his tanned skin glowed beneath the hue of the lights. the more his cologne pumped through your nose. it was impossible to not be intoxicated by him, drunk on his affection.

with your hands gripping his neck, you looked up to him through your hooded eyes, a look that he wished he could take a fucking picture of.

“what?” he said into your ear.

you only shifted closer into him if that was possible.

“need me, baby?” he chuckled low and wicked. you shifted on your feet, tightening your legs together. you almost did before lando stuck his leg out, having you tightened around him.

you nodded rapidly into his neck, clutching the fabric of his shirt. it was an appropriate time to leave, too, given that many have already bid their goodbyes. lando was only sticking around for you, after all. “please,” you whimpered into his ear, mouth wetting the skin beneath his chin.

“fuck.” he cursed, maneuvering your body towards the exit with ease. his hands felt so good around you. you wanted them everywhere all the time.

you bid your farewells to your friends with haste, feeling a slight guilt for leaving so…suddenly.

but lando didn’t.

the drive back to the hotel took no time at all, lando blowing through every fucking stop sign and light that came in his direction. his hand was firm on your thigh this time, white knuckling the steering wheel. you stared at him, his side profile. he was too irresistible like this–needy, urgent– so you leaned over to kiss the side of his face, down his neck with sensual, puckering kisses.

he leaned his head back, giving you access to his thick neck. you had no idea how he kept focus on the road, but you had full faith in him to get back unscathed.

“i know, baby,” he sighed, low and deep. “almost there.”

pulling into the valet, you opened the door yourself. lando threw the keys up in the air to the doorman and proceeded to rush you through the lobby. you couldn’t contain your giggles when he kept pressing the elevator button over and over.

“that doesn’t make it any faster, you know.” you commented, your own foot tapping against the cool marble of the ground.

“i’ll show you fast, baby, watch your mouth.” chills ran up your spine. your legs clenched together again and you couldn’t meet his eye.

bastard.

when the elevator opened, you shuffled inside and he had you against the wall before you could catch your breath. his lips attacked yours, moving down to your jawline, peppering your neck with slower, intense kisses. you moaned, biting your lip to conceal the sound the best you could.

he moved to your chest, your collarbones being the first to be victim of his biting kiss. he would bruise the skin atop your breasts, marks for only him to gawk at. it looks like you won’t be getting any miami sun any time soon. or ever if his swirling tuck keeps suckling against your skin.

“fuck, lan.” you whimpered, looking down at him below you, hands cupping his neck in place. he would happily be imprisoned by you like this. he would never go hungry.

he groaned at your breathless response, adhering heavily to his actions as he didn’t miss an inch of your skin with his sloppy kisses. you pulled at the curly hair of his scalp that had his eyes rolling back into his head. you watched the delectable sight, your panties becoming increasingly damp as the seconds rolled by.

the doors to your floor opened. lando didn’t move for a moment. you pulled his head back from his devouring of your skin. “you’re fucking me in your bed or not at all.”

“you’re the death of me, darling.”

you were swept across the floors of your hotel, lando fumbling with the key to the room anxiously. you kissed up his neck in anticipation until the door clicked open and you were practically tossed inside. he slammed the door shut, throwing the “do not disturb” sign on the handle. not a soul would bust in on the two of you.

you were ripping off your heels and throwing them across the floor before you were latched onto him again. but it didn’t last long until you wanted more. you weren’t going to fuck him in this kitchen, either. you were going to do it right, despite your hazy mind and actions.

lando chased after you like a mad man. you squealed running through the hotel room on your tip toes until you burst open the door to his place. the bed sheets were ruffled, clothes on the floor, and it smelled like him. you bit back a moan at the sight, lando’s chest meet your back.

his lips were back on your neck, your shoulders. he tore through the fabric of your dress, undoing the zipper with methodical fingers. the gown fell to the floor, leaving your chest bare and your panties thin and otherworldly.

you were ethereal.

there wasn’t an ounce of shame inside of you when you spun around to face him. his hands were running up and down your bare skin, feeling how soft you were. a cuss fell verbosely from his lips, like honey.

you backed away from him with an enticing look, swaying your hips before you fell backward on his bed, hands threading over your head. a palm came down to trace down your sternum, your lower belly, the hem of your dampened panties.

lando watched you through his darkened eyes, almost black with desire. black holes. they sucked up the light around them, absorbing it without second thought. you wanted nothing more than to be absorbed by him. wholly.

he stalked towards you like a hunter, back straight with his lip caught between his teeth. he wanted to ravage you right here– tear the underwear from your hips, fuck you into another dimension, but he would resist. all he wanted was to savor this moment, this vision, of you laying out before him, bare and vulnerable. all for him. you trusted him with your intimacy, your touches. he’d do nothing more to keep you like this.

the british driver stood over you, your legs coming to squeeze together until his knee shoved its way through. your thighs dangled over the edge of the bed, burning with the scorching heat of your core.

one of his fingers came down to run over your chest, your nipples, your abdomen. you squirmed at his teasing touch, feeling everything and absolutely nothing at once. you mewled deep within your throat, begging for more.

he stopped at the band of your underwear, latching the same finger beneath it and drawing his hand back. the fabric peeled away with ease, your cunt glistening at his will. he noticed, of course, nostrils flaring with a tense angst of lust. no woman had looked as beautifully sinful as you have. you were a blessing and a curse– the most angelic devil he’s ever met.

“beautiful,” he cooed, trailing two fingers over the crease of your thighs, over the lips of your pussy. you whined again, shifting your hips to get him to touch you where you needed him. badly. he tsked, at your impatience.

it took him all of a second to launch atop of you, his turn to cage you in with his toned arms. you watched as his veins pulsed, blood running viciously hot through his body. it had you glancing down at the outline of his cock through his pants, the indent firm and mesmerizing.

you salivated, a string of drool leaking from your mouth. he wiped it away with his thumb and a chuckle, looking at you from his elevated position above you. “soon, sweet girl.”

that was enough for you right now. his lips attached to your chest once more, spots already swollen and bruising with his previous attack. he moved to your breasts, cupping them in his palms, kneading the flesh. it felt heavenly to be beneath him like this– you never thought you could be so vulnerable with a man like this before.

the british driver’s mouth moved to your opposing nipple, latching onto it with his tongue swirling over the sensitive bud. you whined, mouth opening for a loud gasp at the curdling sensation. you felt that feeling in your lower belly, a white hot coil that was desperate to snap.

you were so soft beneath his touch. he could mold you, bruise you for his own gawking at a later date. and you wanted him to. you were his and he was yours. nothing could change that now.

he moved to the other breast, not daring to neglect any part of you. it was euphoric how delectable this was. you’ve never been touched so intimately. no one has cared this much about your pleasure. but to lando, it was everything.

his gospel was on your pleasures.

“lan, lan please,” you whimpered, squirming beneath him when he wasn’t between your thighs yet. “need you so bad.”

“i know baby,” he said into the skin of your belly. you felt his smirk. he kept trailing down and down. “so pretty,” he sighed, coming face to face with your folds, swollen and beating for his touch.

you clenched around nothing, and the desperation has never been so poignant.

and then his tongue was on you, spreading you wide. you gasped, so responsive to his touch, and grappled onto the curly strands of his hair. he was deliberate with his touches, fingers digging into the plush skin of your thighs. his tongue drilled into you, curling upward that had you biting back your moans. despite your efforts, it was a failure. you were slack jawed and squirming beneath him. his grip tightened around your thighs in response, surely bruising the skin.

he tongued every corner of your pussy, swiping over your clit once that had you jolting upward. he memorized the spot, stimulating you to the point where the coil began to itch to snap.

there was no hope for you when he was getting impatient and added a finger to rub circles on your clit, his tongue continuing to thrust in and out of you. pleasure would build and build, rising to an ultimate bliss when he found that sparkler inside of you.

at the angle he caressed with his tongue, you bucked your hips into him further. you felt him chuckle into you, his throat vibrating with such a cocky sound. he found a spot that made you fucking tick and you were entirely at his disposal.

he abused the motion of his fingers, the assault of his tongue. you felt entirely undone by him, progressively getting tighter and tighter at his motions. “come on, baby…” he spoke into you. you couldn’t help the uncontrollable arch of your back. “you’ll be a good girl and come for me, won’t you?”

yes, yes! your mind shouted, fingers hanging onto his hair for dear life. you moaned, soaking further with his words of encouragement, eyes rolling back into your head. ‘course you needed him to talk you through it. how silly of lando with such an oversight. “so good, lan…”

“i’ve got you,” he uttered. “fuck baby, so pretty f’me. come on now,” and you needed nothing more than his sweet praise brushing past your ears to have the coil inside of you snap.

you saw stars as you came on his tongue, sweet nectar filling his mouth with a gulp. he kissed every part of you, cleaning you with his tongue. you watched, weary eyed, amazed by how hot the action was. your pussy clenched. he felt it. glancing up at you from his position on his knees.

“taste so good, sweet girl.” he cleaned up the excess from your plump folds with two fingers, bringing them towards your mouth.

you opened your mouth on cue, his eyes widening with awe. you were fucking perfect. lips latching onto his plush fingers, you sucked them clean amply. you’ve never done such an act before, but it felt…natural. his dick was painfully hard in his pants, almost cumming at the sight of your lust filled eyes.

“my perfect girl…”

you whined, sitting up on your elbows and clenching your hand to etch him closer. he listened on command, climbing to you. it was his shirt, pants, socks, shoes, everything that was on him that bothered you.

fingers coming to yank at the hem of his shirt, he swiftly understood your nonverbal wishes. he tore his shirt over his head, throwing it to the corner of the room, and you fiddled with the belt of his jeans. your fingers worked fast and anxiously, throwing the damn belt across the room with a slap. he gripped your chin with a laugh as he loomed above you.

“want you,” you demanded of him in your sweet, cracked voice. he wouldn’t make you beg this time, pulling his garments down with a swift motion. his cock sprung free and up towards the skin of his lower stomach. you flushed. precum was seeping from his tip, dripping onto your thighs. fuck, you whimpered under your breath.

he didn’t settle for a grace period to settle from your orgasm. he wasn’t nearly finished with you. his hand came to cup the side of your face, your lips finding the skin of his palm. wet kisses covered the surface. he groaned. “you got me baby. relax for me, yeah?”

you nodded eagerly, unable to speak as you wiggled your hips from side to side. he bent over and continued to kiss gingerly down your neck, his tip teasing your swollen cunt. you gasped into him, pulling him close to you. he grumbled, finding this angle inadequate. soon enough your legs were over his shoulders with one swift movement.

lando dipped down for a kiss, his lips hot and feral against your own. soon enough, you felt him clamor inside of you. the stretch was invigorating, your entire body springing to life with his beating cock. “oh my god,” your head flew back into the sheets sinking inward as he felt too heavenly to be real.

“that’s it baby,” your cunt tightened around him with those sweet words. as he progressed further, you felt yourself fall further and further into pure bliss. you’d find no such place elsewhere, only in the comfort of his arms. you knew that to be certain. “taking me so well…”

you sucked in a breath, letting out a hoarse moan when he bottomed out inside of you, walls clenching entirely too tight and he thought he’d cum right then and there. but he withheld the best he could, promising to never cum before you did. he needed to see your face when you’d finish on his cock.

“fuck…move, move lan, need you.” you whined, adjusting extremely well to his size. he didn’t even need to prod you to beg for him, you were already a willing candidate. he always knew you would. your sweet eyes, droopy and dolled up for him at the races. he’d imagined these scene over and over in his head, and never once did it disappoint when he’d fist his cock. now you were here, and your cunt was even more heavenly than he imagined.

“anything, baby.” his pace was even and controlled, but you could see that he was tense. through your bedroom eyes, you could feel the tension through his cock. you appreciate the sentiment of taking it slow, but you knew how he was.

he liked to be fast.

“more,” you moaned, his head shooting up to look at you with surprise. you cupped his cheeks, flushed face begging him. “fuck me, lan. need you so fucking bad, please, please–”

he would burn the fucking world for you. you didn’t know it at that moment, but he had never been so in love with you than he has been before. he adhered to your wishes, losing the tension in his shoulders as he began a rough pace against your cunt.

it was his only goal to make sure you felt him in every part of your body. he stretched every corner of your walls, squeezing him at every increasing thrust. he explored you fully and promised to know every inch of you.

“taking me so well,” he grunted out, hips flexing in and out of you with an egregious pace. it was to your ultimate liking to get fucked so well by him.

“lan…” you drawed out in a moan, lost in the stars of his throttling pace. “you’re so good. so fucking–” your own pleasure cut you off, squealing when he shifted only slightly and had your core clenching him tight.

he let out a greedy snicker, knowing he found a spot that made you unbelievably tick. it was his to find, and his to use. you would know no better pleasure than what he awarded you.

“oh fuck–!” you yelped as your release continued to build, the tip of the iceberg in reach. lando felt it, too, with his own stomach tightening and desperate to cum inside of you. you were a trigger for all his desires, and it would be sent off with a singular please that could leave your lips. the power you held over him and didn’t even know it…

“always gonna make you feel good, baby.” he promised you, dipping his abdomen over yours for a deeper, tighter angle. you whimpered, unable to speak. he would do it for you as he kissed over your cheeks, your jawline.

his hand came to the column of your throat. your eyes flared with an undeniable attention and intrigue. you clenched around him, and he hadn’t even applied pressure. “always.” and you fucking believed him when his fingers swiped at the sides, applying the slightest pressure of his fingers to your airway. you fell lax against the sheets, trusting him with every part of your body. no one else would feel this way for him. no one except you.

your eyes swelled with hot tears, breaking when he was firmer with his grasp, even with his hard cock beaming in and out of you.

he lavished at the sight. he never knew he was so hungry up until now, starving for your affection, your pleasures. how perfect you were could never be summarized in words alone.

“i love you,” you sputtered out, breathless and flushed hot. lando’s pace didn’t falter, but his grip around your neck loosened.

“say it again,” he demanded, face pushing up into the crevice of your neck.

“love you so much, lando,” it was a promise you made to him. to yourself. he swore against your neck, his breath hot and humid against your skin.

“come for me. come on, my love.” his words were only encouraging you towards and ultimate release, your tears hot against your cheeks. “i’ve got you, i’ve got you baby. so good for me, aren’t you?”

“yes, yes!” you whimpered, coil of lust for the british driver snapping a second time, harder, bringing an entire galaxy into your vision. you traveled through time and with lando, you found yourself grounded together in every universe. this was home.

your cunt tightened, causing his pace to get sloppy, his own release parallel to yours. you milked him dry, panting and chests heaving together.

he fell on top of you, his full weight comforting against your wet skin. he didn’t pull out yet, too exhausted to find the effort.

“did you mean it?” i love you.

“yes.”

lando became shy as he found himself brushing your nose with his. “i love you, too. have for a long time.”

a long time

“i will love you in every life time,” you said, earning you the brightest smile that the driver could muster. a lifetime.

“a lifetime…” he repeated, in a daze. “love you so much…” he said your name into your cheek, giving you a plump kiss. “infinite lifetimes would never be enough.”

you peppered his face with kisses. this was your gravity. the force that kept you grounded throughout time. if you ever got lost in the cosmic reaches, you would be able to find him. find home. find the beacon of light that he provided.

you were safe here, and so was he. and does gravity know no bounds between objects. you would be attached to one another for the rest of your living days, and even further throughout the cosmos. and that was enough for you, for now.

────────────

weeps;;

i am also open for requests <3

2K notes · View notes

2-dsimp · 7 months

Text

Welcome everyone to the mini cyoa tutorial ! NSFW edition!

Cw: fem!reader, possible noncon, Yandere tendencies, dark content!

-This is just a small spin off series meant to help familiarize ourselves with the mechanics of the OG cyoa! Since it’s been awhile (>^ω^<) If there are any questions feel free to ask anything and I’ll answer to the best of my abilities!

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Current location: [on Campus] at {Zhongli’s Tutoring club}

—-//———————//———

Secret admirer! Ayato wanted to surprise you with his presence since he’s been abroad for his studies for so long. He already knew your location since he’s got eyes everywhere tailing his favorite princess.

Secret admirer! Ayato conversing with Tutoring club leader! Zhongli trying to shoo him off so he can spend some quality time with you. But Zhongli remains calm and politely refuses any of his attempts to whisk you away. Since he states that as your tutor, it’s his responsibility to escort you home safely.

Both of them are hesitant to let you go with the other and are heavily distracted. So they wouldn’t notice if you decided to leave the study room by yourself.

—-//——————//———-

1st objective: find a way home

—-//———————//———

—> {Opt to go home alone}

—>[Choose to go with Ayato]

—> <Choose to go with Zhongli>

—-//——————//————

Votes end Tuesday midnight 🕛

—-//——————//————

Player inquiries ✨

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ikeuverse · 8 months

Text

NEW BEGINNINGS — l.heeseung

PAIRING: dad!heeseung x fem!reader GENRES: fluff, humor, a pinch of angst WC: 8.7k+

WARNINGS: mention of unwanted pregnancy, turbulent relationship, drinking, some swearing. let me know if i've forgotten anything too.

SYNOPSIS: flirting with your brother's brother-in-law wasn't in your plans after returning from studying abroad. it wasn't something you were going to stop either since heeseung was the epitome of beauty. but when there's another woman's name in the story. what happens? you don't want to be caught between a betrayal… or so you thought.

NOTES: i think this turned out a lot cuter than i intended. initially it was going to be very short, but i wanted to add a bit of plot and maybe add a one chapter or two to it to give more attention to yn with the little one and the development of her relationship with heeseung. i hope you like it!

part 2 | masterlist

Studying abroad for your university degree was a dream. Spending two years in Barcelona seemed like such a distant dream, but in the blink of an eye, you were already on Spanish soil. And as if that were fast enough, those years passed so quickly that before you knew it, you were back in the apartment you shared with your younger brother.

Sighing, you threw yourself on the sofa and let the tiredness of the trip take over. Smelling the familiar scent of Jay's cologne that hadn't completely disappeared.

Being back was incredible. Now, finally, you could work in your field and be close to your family too. It hadn't been that long, but you still felt sad not just because you missed them, but because you had missed important moments with each of your family members.

Like, for example, when your parents bought their dream house. Lots of rooms to welcome their children and anyone else who wanted to sleep over. A backyard so big that it had room for your father's gardening, a swimming pool, and a small hut where your mother made a studio for whatever artistic thing she was obsessed with at the moment.

You also missed out when Jay started dating her in his final year at university. The girl was simply incredible and you got to know her over a video call, but it still wasn't the same. It was different from his older sister's attitude – even if it was a year apart – where his girlfriend would come over to your parent's house, you'd make a huge fuss and a fake scene of jealousy.

Not that you weren't jealous of Jay, but Heejin was so sweet and loving that all you could do was sigh and smile at her as she introduced herself on her cell phone screen and told you that she was looking forward to meeting you in person.

And Heejin threw such a big party as soon as you arrived. She was in charge of making the snacks and taking them to your mother's house, telling you so much about her that you were dizzy, smiling from ear to ear at the girl's excitement. Jay watched in the background, laughing now and then when you looked at him, silently congratulating you on having found someone as nice as her.

"Do you like chicken? I learned how to make this chicken paste last week and Jay loved it, I think you'll like it too" she said shyly, handing over one of the snacks she'd brought.

And she got it right. You loved it so much that you even asked Heejin to make it the next time you two met. Which never took long because she was always at her apartment with Jay or her parents' house.

It seemed that as well as being a sister-in-law, you had found a very good friend.

"I'm home" Jay announced loudly as soon as he walked through the living room door, making you abandon your thoughts completely as you jumped onto the sofa "Did I scare you?" he laughed as he looked at you, messing up your hair before walking past you and straight into the kitchen.

You stood up, walked over to where he was, and leaned against the doorframe to watch your brother get a bottle of water from the fridge.

"So" Jay turned to you, his breathing a little labored and you noticed that he was completely sweaty "I came running because it's going to rain, don't think nonsense" he warned you, noticing that your expression began to change as soon as you saw his state.

Your laughter filled the kitchen along with Jay's, and he walked over to the worktop and sat down on it.

"I didn't think anything" you held up your hands to defend yourself, biting your lower lip to hold back another laugh "I got home from mom's a while ago, I was lying there thinking about so many things."

"About what, for example?" Jay came around the counter and sat on the stool behind you. This forced you to get down and turn around to face him, watching your brother still enjoying his cold bottle of water.

"About how, even though I love Barcelona, I've missed out on a lot with you all here."

"Come on, y/n. We've already had this conversation" Jay warned.

And it was true. He knew how much you wanted to complete your fashion course abroad, but at the same time, you didn't want to leave your parents. Jay chose to stay, earning well-deserved recognition at the gastronomy school in the city itself while supporting you every second.

"I know, but I can't get this weight off of me" you pursed your lips, forming a pout that he grimaced at.

"How about we go out so you can forget about it?" Jay proposed, seeing you try to hide a smile as he leaned over the counter and took your hand "Come on, I still have some friends you know who are dying to meet you again."

"Who, for example?" you asked.

Jay seemed to think for a moment, remembering all the people from his college that you knew. Even though you only studied with Jay for a short time, it wasn't enough to get to know all his friends or maintain a lasting friendship with them. Since your brother was well known, you were afraid that he would approach you just to get to him.

"Sailor will be there" Jay shrugged, knowing that she was the first girl you'd made friends with on the design course, "and that insufferable Jake."

"Oh, my little brother will be there?" you smiled dreamily, seeing Jay roll his eyes.

"Little brother? That son of a bitch is just my childhood best friend, not your little brother, y/n."

You laughed so loudly that you saw Jay shrug his shoulders as he did so. Going around the counter, you hugged your brother and laid your head on his shoulder, sighing a little lighter after talking to Jay. It always calmed you down.

"I'm going to love hanging out with them, and especially with you."

Jay kissed the top of your head and you could feel him smile with his lips up there after he returned your embrace. His fingers were cold from the bottle he was holding, now gripping your body as he got up from the bench to stand next to you.

"So get ready, because we have this program every Friday. And you're part of it from now on" he said, pulling away from you and telling you that he was going to take a shower because it was too sticky.

You just agreed, thinking of preparing something to eat with your brother after he got out of the shower. And you started to get a little more excited until Friday arrived to meet up with some friends again, and finally go out with your brother after so long.

"Why do you spray so much perfume?" you almost shouted from your room as Jay passed you in the hallway of the apartment, stopping walking and heading straight for your door.

"I sprayed it a couple of times" he said "Okay, four" he corrected after noticing your serious countenance looking at him "I get nervous every time I go to meet Heejin, so…"

"That's cute" your lip formed into a pout, beckoning him into your room while you finished getting ready "But I don't think she'll care how smelly you are or not. Considering we're going to a nightclub."

"You're right" Jay tried to relax, throwing himself onto your bed in a lazy way. "It's just that I never stop thinking about how much I can impress her since we started dating, you know? It's so different."

"How different?"

Having these conversations with Jay was something you loved, mainly because it felt like he was older and not you. So listening to him ramble on about something or even vent about anything made the two of you feel even closer to each other.

Hearing how in love your brother was made you so happy and smiley, even more so because every time he mentioned Heejin, or even you said her name or said you were talking to her, Jay sighed. A complete fool in love, you joked.

He never denied it because he really was. And it was clear every time you saw the two of them together since you arrived. Holding hands, caresses and hugs, declarations and compliments. Something so loving that there wasn't even room to tease your brother about how sweet he was being.

"We can go now" you said after a while when Jay again told you how he felt about Heejin. And how he was afraid of losing her.

Your role as older sister was to make sure that your younger brother was doing a great job and that he was an amazing guy. Not to mention that the two of them got along very well and had your approval, so that was enough.

Jay left that apartment so happy that he was smiling to the parking lot, then with you to the club to meet the rest of his friends. He didn't even notice the smile, only when he arrived and felt his jaw aching after talking to you so much.

"Hold my hand so you don't get lost until we find the guys, okay?" you just agreed as you headed for the entrance to the club and Jay gave you the names for access.

Entering the venue, you and your brother had to dodge a few – a lot – of people dancing back and forth, others trying to make conversation with both you and him, but backing away when they saw you holding hands. You caught a scream in your throat and then laughed along with him, people probably thought you and Jay were a couple because you were holding hands. Ew.

"Finally!" the voice shouted from ahead and you looked over Jay's shoulder.

With his free hand, your brother nodded and then continued to approach until you were close enough to let go of your hand.

"I thought you weren't coming" Jake ruffled Jay's hair as he approached the group, hearing the boy's curses before turning his eyes to you "Little sister!"

"Little brother!" you replied with the same excitement, only for both of you to tease Jay, who was cursing at both of you. Jake was quick to run towards you and hug you.

"Don't ever travel that long again, I've missed you so much" he whispered while still hugging you.

"I promise I'll take you with me next time" his smile widened so much that you swore his cheeks were sore from smiling so much.

Saying hello to Sailor, your only friend from university, was something you were looking forward to. She had been one of the only people at the beginning of your school year before you moved to another country, who came to talk to you without any interest in your brother. Sailor was so nice, communicative, and giggly. The two of you got on so well that even when you moved to Barcelona, contact wasn't lost. Your happiness was undeniable when Jay told you that she was still in the group of friends, now as Jake's girlfriend.

Sunghoon was another friend of the boys that you got to know as well, arriving close to high school where he was drafted onto the soccer team that Jay and Jake played on. Of course, the three of them would become friends. He introduced you to his girlfriend. Joan, it wasn't someone you knew, but she seemed nice because she complimented you a lot and even asked how you were able to put up with a bunch of boys without slapping any of them.

Maybe I slapped you here or there, but I swear I could have done more. Joan's laugh was cute, and Sunghoon's small eyes when he smiled as he listened indicated that this man had been completely snared.

"Hi, y/n. I'm so glad you came" Heejin, your sister-in-law. So beautiful, with a comforting hug and very caring. You remember that, ever since you arrived, she asked Jay if you were all right every day.

"I guess you'll all have to get used to someone else in the group" you told her as you hugged her, tightening your arms around Heejin. She kissed your cheek and then pulled away from your face a little.

"Oh, this is going to be amazing. This way my brother won't feel so lonely" she whispered because she was too close to your face, so her voice wouldn't be hard to hear. You frowned at that, what do you mean her brother?

You hadn't paid attention to the people around you unless they came to greet you. Or you hadn't taken the time to notice who was with your group until your eyes shifted from Heejin's face to focus on the male figure next to the three boys.

Of course, you'd heard about Heejin's brother and even seen some pictures of him with Jay on social media. But you were so focused on your studies or even on finding out how your brother was doing that you didn't even have the luxury – or the time – to go and find out who Jay's new friends were, apart from the ones you already knew.

Heejin gradually moved away from you and, at the same moment, the only boy who hadn't said hello was waving to the boys and heading towards you and your sister-in-law. He couldn't take his eyes off you and you couldn't take your eyes off him, it was as if neither of you wanted to miss each other's next move.

"Hi" what a voice that is, my God. You wanted to shout to yourself "I'm Heeseung."

Heeseung, of course. The name wasn't strange. Considering how many stories Jay posted with Heeseung, who was always at parties with your brother.

"Hi, I'm y/n" even if he knew her name, it wouldn't hurt to introduce yourself, right?

By now Heejin had already stepped aside and let you talk to Heeseung, but you hadn't even bothered.

"Now I have someone to keep me company," Heeseung smiled and you swore you let out a loud sigh, but because of the volume of the music he hadn't heard. Good!

"Why? Are they that bad?" you asked Heeseung.

He leaned a little towards you, his hands in the front pockets of his jeans as he shrugged in the process. Heeseung's breath smelled of strawberries, so maybe he'd had a drink before you arrived.

"Wait until everyone's drunk" he whispered, "You can bet on which couple gets the hottest out of all of them."

"Can we bet money? Me and you?" your eyes lit up at the word bet, looking like a child who had just heard the most magnificent thing in the world.

Heeseung wanted to ignore the way he was smiling so much, feeling his heart skip a beat with your smile and your gaze so close to him. Even though he had leaned towards you just to talk. He wanted to think so, after all, you were all out clubbing, and if he wanted to have a conversation with you, he'd have to get closer.

And because you were so beautiful and smelled so good, he was simply attracted.

"I didn't bring that much money today" Heeseung pursed his lips "But we can bet drinks at the bar, what do you say?"

"Will you buy me one?"

"Now? Of course" of course, he had to stop this "I need to show you the best drink in this place before you get hooked."

"Do the honors, then" you smiled back at him, almost shouting when Heeseung's hand gently touched your back. Even though no skin was exposed because your shirt covered most of it, his fingers seemed to have shocked the spot.

Heeseung felt a warmth emanating from his fingertips and wondered if he had overstepped any boundaries since he had touched – even on your back – without your permission. But as soon as you started walking, being guided by him, the boy saw no problem in following you with his hand still touching you.

"Hey, Mingi" Heeseung waved to the bartender as soon as you and he arrived at the bar. From the intimacy, the place seemed to be frequented quite often by him and your brother's friends. The man behind the bar waved cheerfully.

"The usual?"

"Actually, I'll have a Rum Punch" Heeseung's slurred accent almost made you sigh again, but you held back only because he held your gaze even though he was talking to the bartender in front of you "For this young lady here."

"Oh, new here?" Mingi began to prepare the drink, showing off his skills with the utensils and how to stir that metal glass that you didn't even know didn't spill a drop.

"I've been away for two years" your voice came out a little louder than you would have liked, but Mingi smiled and shook his head "I'm Jay's sister."

"No kidding!" he seemed shocked by the information and you almost asked if it was bad to be Jay's sister or something "Jongseong, that ugly guy, has such a beautiful sister?"

Shit, your cheeks started to heat up. But you couldn't tell if it was because of Mingi's compliment or because Heeseung's hand slid from your back to your waist. He was still touching you, and it didn't seem to bother him or you.

"Here, Miss Park" he smiled after placing the glass on the counter, "enjoy the best of our bar."

You thanked him and took the glass, turning to face Heeseung.

"I hope you like it because, honestly, it would suck to say this is the best drink and have you hate it" he pressed his lips together, looking a little apprehensive about your reaction. You laughed at how cute he looked, agreeing with a little nod.

Touching your lips to the glass, you took a small sip just to test it out. As Heeseung said, it would be a shame for you to hate something that he advertised so much. But no, you loved it! And your murmur of approval only made his smile grow even wider, so you took another long sip before offering it to him.

"Come on, have some since you introduced me to it" you smiled at him as you tilted the glass for Heeseung to take. But he seemed too busy still holding your waist, with both hands this time. One on either side of you, making you want to scream and at the same time take a step forward and stand so close to him.

That drink wasn't taking effect that quickly, but it was Heeseung's fingers on your body that were making you like this.

So you held your breath a little when he leaned over, touching his lips to the glass and looking at you. A silent request for you to turn the contents just right because he wanted to drink from your hand. Heeseung wanted you to give him the drink.

And you did.

You carefully turned that glass until he had a good sip and then turned away to wipe his lips with the tip of his tongue and moan in satisfaction at the liquid going down his throat.

"Like I said, y/n" he said, his eyes wandering around the club and then finding you again. Heeseung leaned close enough so that his face was close to yours – for the second time that night – and his gaze quickly fell to your mouth "This is the best drink in the bar, and the night is going to be so long that we can try as many as you want" why had he whispered that part? Why was Heeseung whispering while staring at your lips?

You just nodded, sipping some more of that good, newfound liquid, as you felt him pull you into the middle of the dance floor.

The boy was right, it was going to be a long night.

You didn't know that your sister-in-law was a graduate in the same field as you at university in Barcelona. You also didn't know that you would receive an offer from the studio where she worked and, a few days later, be hired.

You also didn't know that your relationship with Heeseung had become pure flirtation, smiles in each other's direction and gentle touches on the hands, waist, and even long hugs when he went to pick up Heejin and ended up giving you a lift too. Or when he went to visit Jay to play video games in his living room. You also didn't know that you would let Heeseung lean his head on your shoulder and fall asleep so deeply on the first night of movies in your shared apartment with your brother after Sunghoon said he didn't want to go clubbing that day.

Everything was going so differently from what you had envisioned for your return to the city, but no way could describe the way you felt with Heeseung. Because it was different, wasn't it? You felt that way.

Because you didn't feel a chill in your stomach when Jake laid his head on your lap after coming home from work, or you didn't feel your face heat up after Sunghoon kissed the top of your head when you all decided to meet up for dinner. So why did you feel those things with Heeseung? He also lay on your lap, he also kissed the top of your head. But only he was able to take away your sleep some nights, resulting in you being almost late for work and hearing Heejin ask if everything was okay.

"Jongseong was playing late again?" she asked angrily, making you laugh.

Thinking about your brother, you wanted to answer but settled for pressing your lips together to avoid smiling.

"I've just had a bad night" your lips quickly curled into a pout and she imitated you.

"I know someone who can help you with that" Heejin hummed, picking up her cell phone and typing a few things as she watched you go to your desk.

Trying to stop her from talking to Heeseung was practically impossible, as she and Jay did a great job of making you feel awkward in front of him. But not in a bad way, not at all. The two of them only managed to make you shyer and shyer every time something happened.

Do you need help with the popcorn in the kitchen? Heeseung, help y/n. I'm watching the movie with your sister.

Are you going out for dinner? Heeseung and y/n sit next to each other, their seats already assigned.

When you all decided to go to the amusement park together and he wasn't too keen on entering the castle of horrors? My sister will hold your hand and, if the fear goes away, you can kiss her as a reward. Jay's sentence could have been a whisper only to him and Heeseung, but because you were so close, it was sure to have been heard.

"Y/n, I… I'm sorry—" you took his hand, entwining your fingers in Heeseung's as you smiled at the boy.

"You heard my brother, right?" now Heeseung felt even more courageous with your words. So he could kiss you after everyone had passed through that castle of horrors? Surely he wouldn't miss it.

But he did.

As soon as you all left, Heeseung received a call that he urgently needed to go home. You didn't object and the others seemed to understand perfectly when the boy said goodbye, you being the only one who received a quick kiss on the cheek before he ran out of the park.

"I wonder what happened?" Sailor asked as you all started walking to the park's next attraction.

"Maybe it's because of Aimi, he said he'd be alert in case he needed to go home" Jake intertwined his fingers with Sailor's and walked beside her.

Just then, you stopped. Wait, Aimi? Heeseung had someone else? No, it couldn't be.

All that time you two were exchanging, you were being part of a betrayal? Holy shit. It couldn't be possible.

The whole situation put a lump in your throat and your stomach began to churn. You walked with your friends out of sheer habit, seeing that they were all in the queue for the rollercoaster. By instinct, Jay looked in your direction and saw how scattered you were, walking over to stand next to you.

"It's just a rollercoaster, you know? You don't have to be scared" he joked, laughing a little as he put his arm around your shoulders.

Trying to be gentle, you pushed his arm away, starting to feel a weight on your chest that you didn't even know existed.

"I… I'm going home" your voice came out shaky. Shit, don't do that, y/n!

"What? Y/n, is everything all right?" Jay looked at you now rather worriedly, holding you by the shoulders and, once again, feeling your hands drop as you walked away.

Your brain didn't process the fact that your legs were quickly pulling you out of there, walking away from the roller coaster queue while you listened to the boys calling you. You ignored it completely and walked to the parking lot where you tried to look for your brother's car since Heeseung had left and you had gone with him to the park.

"Shit. Shit, shit, shit" the curses were starting to flood out of you as your eyes stung, but you weren't going to cry. Not because of that.

For God's sake, the two of you hadn't even kissed, why feel so stupid?

"Y/n, I found you!" Jay was panting behind you, having stopped running and feeling his heartbeat speed up even more from the little exercise he'd done to find you.

He then walked towards you very slowly, trying to catch his breath and testing whether he could do it since you had pushed him away twice in less than a minute.

"Hey, are you all right?" he asked "It was the rollercoaster game—"

"Why didn't anyone tell me?" you interrupted him.

Jay frowned in response, glancing at you as soon as you stopped right in front of him and caught a glimpse of your face in the dim light of the amusement park parking lot. He saw your watery eyes and knew you could cry at any moment.

"What about?" he asked you again, and you realized that it couldn't be that he knew either since, in your brother's mind, you were like that for the roller coaster. But wasn't it obvious that it was for Heeseung? It didn't make sense.

Your chest ached a little more when you remembered his static face when you left quickly and how your friends commented on the girl so naturally that it was as if you weren't there.

You opened and closed your mouth, tried to say something and nothing came out the way you wanted it to. It sucked that everything was like that. When you finally plucked up the courage to talk to your brother, your phone rang, startling you both.

The handset came out of your back pocket and Heeseung's name flashed up on the screen. You didn't realize the grimace you were making until you looked at Jay and saw that he was waiting for you to pick up, but you didn't. You simply hung up. You simply hung up.

"What's going on?" he kept looking at you.

"Nothing" another ring from Heeseung and you would have hung up if Jay hadn't been quicker and answered on the second ring.

"Hey dude, it's Jay" you could hear Heeseung's voice in the background, but you couldn't understand much of what he was saying. Something seemed to touch the back of your brother's mind because he laughed deeply as he looked at you.

What's funny, asshole? You hissed while he still had your phone to his ear and was talking to Heeseung.

"Maybe that's why, but I'm not the one who's going to explain it to her" your brother's gaze was mixed as Heeseung said a few more words and the two finally hung up.

"What the fuck was that, Jay?"

"Heeseung called me… I mean, he called you to explain why he'd left so quickly" he told you.

"I think Jake already did that" you shrugged, showing how encouraging the conversation was because your sarcastic smile said it all.

"Listen, sis. It's not that—"

"Jay, please don't" you whimpered "I'm feeling terrible because all this time no one told me that Heeseung had someone else and we were acting like…"

"A couple, I know" you really hated it when Jay was able to complete his sentences more directly because maybe you would only respond like two people with more touches "That's exactly why he needs to explain it to you, not me."

"I don't want to listen, thank you."

"But you kind of will" he pursed his lips and put his hands in his trouser pockets, running his tongue over lower lip to suppress a smile "Because every two weeks Heejin and I go to Mom's for lunch, and this time since you're here, I'm going to make a point of calling Heeseung too."

"You wouldn't do that…"

"Oh, I would" Jay smiled this time.

And you knew for sure that your dear brother would be able to do it.

You felt like jumping over the kitchen counter and lunging at Jay, but you were left to stir the chocolate in the pan to make a ganache for dessert. Your brother, smiling even too much, put the tomato slices in the glass dish while looking at you now and then and holding back a laugh.

"Cancel it with him, please" you almost cried, almost got down on your knees to Jay begging him not to come.

"Nope" he hummed, excitedly, "I like having my brother-in-law here. Besides, Mom loves it when he brings Aimi along."

"You're a motherfucker—"

"Hey, why am I being cursed at?" your mother chimed in. Jay burst into laughter and you just rolled your eyes, choosing to forget the conversation.

But your brother seemed to have plans to annoy you all weekend, and it was only Saturday. You wouldn't be able to stand it without hitting him once.

"I was telling y/n about Aimi" Jay said.

"Oh, I miss her so much" your mother said with such love that you rolled your eyes at the melted chocolate just so you wouldn't have to face the two of them who were heaping praise on Aimi.

For God's sake, did they have to do that in front of you? Maybe your mother didn't know what had happened between you and Heeseung, so the poor thing wouldn't be punished by your eyes almost shooting her. But your brother would. That asshole was going to pay dearly for every mention of Aimi's name and the way he openly smiled at you after saying it.

It didn't make sense for Jay to tease you about it, it didn't make sense for any of your friends to be into that sort of thing. Everyone there was dating, so why did things have to go that way with Heeseung?

Had Jay already cheated on Heejin, so he was an accomplice? Or had Jake and Sunghoon also been unfaithful, hence the partnership?

It wasn't easy to get into your head and you spent almost the whole week mulling it over, as well as running away from all Heejin's questions and why you were ignoring her brother.

"I just… I don't know, Heejin" you replied.

But she knew, of course, she knew. The only way to understand what was going on was to ask Jay, and like a good gossip, he would tell his girlfriend. Heejin even thought about clearing up the misunderstanding, but as her boyfriend had said, Heeseung was the one to do it.

So it was easy to convince him to go to lunch at your mother's house. You wanted to think it was because of the pool out back or her food, not because he had to explain something to you because you didn't want to hear it.

You refused to fall for his charms while he explained why he had cheated on you for a long time – totaling a month and a half, unfortunately, you counted – only for you to discover that there was another woman. And it wasn't even Heeseung who told you, it came out of Jake's mouth.

If your friend hadn't said anything at the amusement park, would you have known about her? Or would you continue to be fooled until you kissed Heeseung, fell even more in love and then he left you?

"Shit" you cursed quietly when the doorbell snapped you out of your thoughts.

All the food had been ready for a long time and you and your brother had decided to wait, sipping a glass of wine that your mother always left out for you to enjoy while they cooked.

It had to be the Lee siblings, so you decided to fill your glass and lean on the kitchen counter, not having the courage to move your feet as your brother walked past you and smiled with his mouth against the glass he was drinking.

"My love" Jay called out, and you knew it was Heejin he was greeting.

"Heeseung, Aimi!" that was your mother, and your stomach immediately churned at the mention of her name "Y/n, come over here."

I don't want to.

You should answer, that's what you had to do.

But contrary to your thoughts, your feet betrayed you and made you walk to the kitchen door so slowly that you were almost dragging yourself. Perhaps the glass of wine could have helped and stopped you from hugging them both, it would have been a perfect excuse while you just greeted everyone and went back to the kitchen.

As soon as you arrived, your eyes went straight to Heeseung and… A child? Heeseung was holding a little girl in his arms and she was the most beautiful thing you'd ever seen.

Dark hair, curious eyes, and flushed cheeks. She closed her little eyes as she smiled when Jay approached to take her in his arms, hearing the most delightful giggle you could ever remember a child having.

"Hey" Heejin greeted you before anyone could say anything. The two boys were very entertained by the little girl, who was mumbling a few things and talking to them, while your mother was already looking for a cartoon channel for her to watch "Are you okay?" your sister-in-law toasted with her full glass, and it was then that you noticed that she was holding Jay's glass.

Your head just nodded, saying nothing until Heeseung's eyes landed on you. He frowned when he saw how much wine was in your glass and you couldn't hide it since, as it was full, any sudden movement to place it behind your body could cause it to tip over.

Jay still had the little one on his lap and held her hand as he turned to you. She smiled in your direction and you tried to smile back, begging the heavens you hadn't made a face to scare the poor thing.

"Hi, y/n" Heeseung said directly to you as soon as you arrived at your mother's house. You shook your head at him, a silent way of saying hello. Your voice would waver if you said anything since it was the first time you'd seen him since the day at the amusement park, so you couldn't risk having a shaky, slurred, or harsh voice. So just a nod would be fine.

"You can choose any cartoon that uncle Jay will watch with you before lunch" Jay raised his hand and the little girl clapped it, making an animated hi-five as you watched your brother walk over to the sofa with her.

Your eyes lingered too long on the two of them animatedly chatting about the colorful cartoon characters that you didn't notice that Heejin had gone to talk to his mother and Heeseung was standing in front of you.

Hands in his pants pockets, hair slightly mussed, and biting his lower lip. He looked a little apprehensive for his taste.

"Y/n…"

"Bathroom" the little girl announced before Heeseung could even finish his sentence. He quickly looked over to where she was sitting and excused himself as he picked her up.

"Ready to use the bathroom?" he had such a beautiful smile when he talked to her that it seemed too encouraging, you almost forgot that you were angry with him "I'll be right back" Heeseung said before disappearing down the corridor in search of the downstairs bathroom.

That's how long it took you to stare at Jay and take a long sip of your wine before you saw him return with the little girl still on his lap.

"I did it, uncle Jay" she celebrated and Jay got up from the sofa, picking her up again.

"You were amazing, you know that? Your dad and I are so proud of you," he said.

Dad?

You bit your tongue to keep from screaming at that moment. The only thought running through your mind when Heeseung was still in the middle of the room but with his gaze fully on you.

"Y/n, that's Aimi" he pointed to the little girl who, as soon as she heard her name called, turned towards him "My daughter. And sweetie, this is y/n, uncle Jay's sister."

"Fuck" you whispered so quietly, not out of indignation, but because there was a child and you couldn't swear at her.

So your only reaction – apart from widening your eyes – was to gulp down all the wine and feel it burn your throat as you ran to the kitchen.

Your luck was that Aimi only nodded for a few seconds before turning her attention back to the drawing she was watching with Jay, so your state of panic hadn't had much effect on her. Unlike Heeseung, who walked in quick, hurried steps to the kitchen to chase after you.

The search for the wine was tireless. That bottle had run out a while ago and all you had to do was find another that your mother kept right there, but no. Those hands stopped you from opening it. Those hands stopped you from opening the mini cellar under the counter and made you turn to him.

"Wine won't help you much" Heeseung whispered to you.

"I just need to… I…"

"You need to sober up because I think we need to talk, don't you?"

Why did he have to whisper everything? And why did Heeseung have a relentless habit of leaning towards you every time he stood in front of you to say something?

"It's okay" was the only thing you managed to say because the next second his lips were on yours. Briefly, a kiss so quick that you couldn't even process the softness of Heeseung's mouth against yours.

"Great choice of wine, by the way" he licked his lips before leaving the kitchen, just as quickly as he came in after you.

Heeseung was right, you two needed to talk. You were just putting it off all day because you felt like a complete idiot, thinking all sorts of bad things about him and your friends when, in fact, Aimi was just a child. And Heeseung's daughter.

All right, he also felt stupid for never mentioning it since the first time you and he started to get even closer, but the real thing was that he was afraid. He didn't want it to always be the same.

You swore that every moment at your parents' house would lead to a conversation with Heeseung because he never took his eyes off you, only to look in on Aimi or help her with something when no adult was doing so. He was such a helpful father and that only made your heart swell even more for that man.

Your mind just didn't process the fact that little Aimi would be clinging to you the moment everyone sat down to lunch.

"Sweetie, let y/n eat…"

"Dad" she pouted as she sat on your lap, smoothing her long hair so that it didn't fall on the plate in front of her.

"It's okay, I think I can help you, can't I, Aimi?"

"Yes" she turned her head to look at you, and that smile like her father's made you smile too.

Aimi was polite, only asked for your help to cut things she had difficulty with, and ate her vegetables without complaining while Heeseung just watched until she finished eating so she could get off your lap. So you could eat right then.

You noticed that Aimi sulked throughout lunch while the others ate until they finished their meal and she held out her arms to you.

"I thought we were going to watch a cartoon" Jay pouted when he saw that Aimi hadn't gone to sit on his lap.

"Actually, uncle Jay thought he'd get away with doing the dishes" you pretended to whisper to Aimi, hearing her giggle immediately afterward "But I think she'd rather stay with auntie y/n now, wouldn't you?"

When she nodded, it was enough for Jay to make a scene in which Aimi laughed even more.

Spending the afternoon with that child was the most incredible thing that could have happened to you over the last few days.

Watching cartoons with Aimi, hearing about colors and how she could count to forty. Or how she knew about animals because uncle Jay had given her a book that made sounds with a magic pen. And he bragged about the compliments in the present.

You felt your heart warm even more when everyone decided to spend time in the back garden, your lap serving as comfort for Aimi who played with the end of your hair until Heeseung signaled that she had fallen asleep on your lap. You didn't mind. She didn't weigh anything, she was cuddling you so comfortably and her little body was sleeping so nonchalantly that you just held her there and paid attention to Heejin's words, who was telling you about something at work.

Your eyes caught Heeseung's from time to time, and he couldn't help smiling as he looked at you and then at Aimi. Your daughter had liked you and that made Heeseung feel better, maybe the fear had passed and he could talk to you.

"Hey, y/n" Heeseung whispered close to your ear. You did everything you could not to move abruptly and not wake Aimi on your lap, so you just looked at him, noticing that his attention was everywhere but on what was happening in front of him.

Now it was your father who was talking about something you and your brother had done during a family vacation. Heejin laughed, asking something and you simply decided to pay attention to the man next to you.

"I can take her inside, I think I'll put her on the sofa because it's getting cold and your arms will go numb afterward" he kept whispering, making you laugh.

"I'll help you" you also whispered, settling Aimi in your arms and getting up with her still on your lap.

This was quite common, considering that Jay was always the one to take Aimi when Heeseung went to family lunches. But now you were there, placing Aimi on the three-seater sofa, wrapping her in cushions, and taking the blanket from Heeseung's hands to cover her carefully.

"She's beautiful" your voice came out so low, the compliment was so natural that you only noticed when Heeseung leaned his shoulder against yours and let out a low laugh.

"I think I did a good job" you laughed along with him, looking away from the little girl to the boy next to you "Do you have some time for me now?"

"Of course."

It couldn't be put off any longer, you knew he wanted to talk too so maybe it was time since everyone was talking outside and Aimi had gone to sleep. It was just you and Heeseung on the other side of the room so as not to wake the little one.

Being on the smaller sofa had never been a problem, but the proximity to him was what was making you apprehensive. Their legs touching each other, Heeseung's hands searching for something to hold, opting to leave it on his knees as he looked across the room. He looked at his daughter.

"It happened in the famous cliché of the first one-night stand in university" he moistened his lips and laughed humorlessly, then looked at you and bit his lower lip "Aimi's mother didn't want to keep her."

"What?" your eyes widened at that. You noticed that he sighed, perhaps he was about to tell you something difficult, so your instinct was to take one of his hands in yours, intertwining your fingers and showing that you were right there. Next to him, listening very carefully.

He sighed, taking a little more courage.

Heeseung and Jay had met and it wasn't by chance, they had been assigned roommates in university as soon as Heeseung had been admitted to his course. He and the boys have been inseparable ever since.

Like any university party, which you knew your brother was part of, Heeseung also liked to have fun like any other adult who had just been admitted and wanted to enjoy his youth. But irresponsibility got to him.

Unprotected and fruitless sex only happened in the movies his sister watched, because it wasn't like that with him. Months later, the news that the girl was pregnant devastated him and he wasn't sure what to do, but he thought that they could take care of the baby and that he would be there to help her.

That's not what happened. Heeseung lived on threats all that time.

I don't want to keep this baby unless you stay with me.

It was cruel, she was cruel to Heeseung. But what could he do? That woman was carrying his baby and he could only try to do everything to please her until the child was born. Aimi was beautiful from the first minutes of her life and was the joy of the Lee family.

"I think we should break up" that sentence made Heeseung sigh with relief, he knew it wouldn't last in a relationship that he had sustained only for the sake of the child.

Agreeing was the only right thing to do. But he also didn't know that she would give up any contact with the little girl, literally taking away any responsibility, walking out and never getting involved in the little girl's life since birth.

"The guardianship is completely yours, and she will never go near my niece again" Heejin had done everything since the second she found out she was going to be an aunt, and she had done everything could to make sure that woman would never go near Aimi.

Almost three years passed and he thought it would be difficult, but no. Heeseung was a father – solo – but he had such an immense support network, like his friends, his family, and Jay's family. Aimi didn't miss a mother figure in the slightest because she was surrounded by the love he always knew she never lacked.

Heeseung's fear revolved around any relationship that wouldn't accept his daughter, or that the child's mother would somehow resurface trying to give up something she never had a right to just because he was moving on with his life.

"I don't think you need to worry about that" you said in a low tone, letting him breathe a little after telling most – or almost all – of the story, "Heejin made it very clear and you know how much weight her words carry."

Heeseung laughed.

He clasped his hands even tighter in yours, tilting his head to rest his forehead against yours too.

"Believe me, over the years I've tried to get into relationships and one of them said that I spent more time with Aimi than with her."

"What—" you moved away for a few seconds, just long enough to face Heeseung, and then returned to your starting position, leaning your forehead against his "I think the danger now is that I'll be spending more time with her than with you."

"Will I be double-changed?" false indignation in his voice and Heeseung's hands loosened from his for a brief moment. You would have protested at the loss of contact if it hadn't been for his fingers slowly trailing up your cheek "If that's the case, I'll take it just fine."

"Then start thinking about it, Lee Heeseung."

"I'm thinking, Park Y/n" and then his lips met yours halfway.

A slow kiss and the perfect movement of each other's lips in such calm synchronicity. It was as if they both needed it as their tongues moved slowly, tasting the drink from hours ago and how Heeseung's warm muscle curled into yours. Your hands met his on his face, deepening the kiss even more and letting out a sigh when he slid down the sofa to be even closer to you.

That kiss was on another level, you felt like you were in paradise while Heeseung's lips were still on yours.

He slid his mouth along your jaw and down to your neck, small kisses left on your skin making you shiver completely until they were interrupted by a whimper.

You and Heeseung separated very slowly, both of you looking at the other sofa and noticing that Aimi was starting to cry quietly as she stood up, scratching at her eyes and with her hair completely messed up.

Heeseung got up from the sofa where the two of you were, walked over to his daughter, and bent down in front of her.

"Hi my love, did you have a bad dream?" he asked her, the little girl's eyes going to her father and they were completely watery. She held out her arms for him to take her, and so Heeseung did. "Hey, are you okay?" he asked back, with no reply. Aimi still had a pout on her lips and her eyes were almost streaming with the tears she was holding back.

That was enough for you to pout at the scene in front of you, holding back a scream as Aimi looked at you and her eyes lit up.

Her little arms went out towards you so excitedly that she almost threw herself off Heeseung's lap. You quickly got up from the sofa and picked her up, kissing her on the top of the head before making her lie on your shoulder.

"Sweetie?" Heeseung called out after she had snuggled into your lap.

"I want y/n" she said sleepily, yawning as she lay on your shoulder and practically falling back asleep within seconds.

You and Heeseung looked at each other, holding back a laugh as the little one went back to dreamland after being snuggled in your arms. He approached the two of you, kissing Aimi's cheek and then kissing your forehead before placing his own against it. Faces close together.

"I think I'm getting your daughter for myself" you hummed, kissing his lips in the process.

Heeseung laughed, nodding in denial as you moved away to go to the larger sofa in the living room.

He wanted to deny it and play with you, but seeing Aimi on your lap and that scene in front of him, all the fear Heeseung had was gone for sure.

#enhypen #enhypen fluff #heeseung fluff #enhypen heeseung #heeseung #lee heeseung #enhypen au #enhypen scenarios #lee heeseung fluff #enhypen masterlist #enhypen x reader #heeseung fanfics #heeseung x reader #lee heeseung x reader #enhypen imagines #bay writes.

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starlightxsvt · 1 month

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When A Villainess Loves | c.sc

synopsis ➳ four years of obsessing over him. so what if he is taken. you don't mind being the villainess if it means you get to have him in the end. genre ➳ chaebol au, thriller, dark romance. pairing ➳ heir!seungcheol x villainess!f.reader wc ➳ 19.4k warnings ➳ manipulation, blackmail, cheating, guns, blood, destruction of evidence, murder, death of minor characters, cursing, accident, scarring, adoption, heavy make out, fingering, marking, every character is corrupt more or less basically, also for plot purposes reader's last name is kim.

pick your poison babe

i'm poison either way

When you met Choi Seungcheol for the very first time, you were 13 years old.

One sunny afternoon, while making your way to your grandpa’s study with your homework clutched to your chest, you were graced by the sight of him. He was stepping out of the room after meeting with your grandpa when the sound of your footsteps prompted him to stop and regard you with curiosity, head tilted to a side. He was only 18 back then, full of dreams and passion as he prepared to move abroad to finish his degree before returning home to inherit his father’s company.

“Hey,” he had said, unsurely. With a squeak, you ran away and hid in a nearby room, too shy to talk with a stranger. You remember him standing there for a moment, confused by your behaviour before slowly walking away with a shake of his head.

The second time you saw Seungcheol, you were 18 years old, five years after your first meeting. He had come back after finishing his degree and was preparing to take over his father's billion-dollar company. In celebration, Mr Choi threw a party inviting all his family and friends and since your grandfather was one of his oldest business partners, it was natural for you to be invited with him.

It was that fateful winter evening when you fell in love with Seungcheol for the very first time.

In all 18 years of your existence, dating never interested you. You preferred to keep to yourself, read and spend time with your grandpa. You had realized early on that observing and judging people was much more interesting than talking to them. Especially because no one could ever resist asking you about the big scar on your left cheek. It was irritating; the prodding gaze of strangers who stared at your scar with wonder, treating you like a science experiment. So it wasn’t surprising for you to grow up without having many friends. You didn’t need them anyway, you had your grandpa.

Life was mostly uneventful and you did not mind having it that way. But then, at 18, when you caught a glimpse of Seungcheol and the man he had become, you realized, your life would never be the same. The sight of him had thrown your heart into a frenzy, one you could never recover from.

Gone was the lean young boy with bright eyes and messy hair. In his place was a calm but serious man who knew how to command a room with just his presence. Everything about him; the way he moved, the way he talked, the way he brushed his hand through his slick black hair, the way his suit hugged his muscular frame made your stomach dip and heart throb.

That evening, your sole focus was him, following him around the party with your eager eyes but too shy to go and talk to him. You remember uttering one word to him when he was talking to your grandfather and his eyes landed on you.

“Congratulations.” You had said, giving him your best smile while your stomach was tied up in knots.

He gave you a small smile and a nod before looking away but that little interaction was enough for you to fall head first for him and fill your long nights with dreams.

“He has grown up to be a fine man, no? Choi Corporation is in very good hands.” Your grandpa had commented.

You had to agree.

Seungcheol was a fine man, the finest you had ever seen. So fine that the thoughts of him kept you awake at night, the memory of his smile filled your stomach with butterflies and made you want to write poetry about.

You had decided right then and there that you would make friends with him, grow close to him. It would have been easy to do since his father and your grandpa were already close.

Your plan began with you scouring the net, trying to find every possible information about him and the things that you could not find, you would discreetly ask your grandpa. You were going to set your plan in motion by visiting the golf ring where Seungcheol regularly golfed on weekends. On a Friday night in early February, as you were laying your golf outfit out for the next day with childish excitement, your grandpa came into your room to give you the worst news of your life.

Seungcheol was getting engaged that Sunday.

To the only daughter of Lee Media, the country's biggest media company. The holy union was agreed upon by the elders of the family since it was beneficial for both parties and most importantly, the heirs had no objection. They grew up in each other's presence anyway.

Even worse, after the engagement, Seungcheol was moving to Hong Kong to better oversee the company business and when he was to return, the marriage would take place.

That news would have made any normal person give up. It would have brought them back to their senses and forced them to focus on their own life.

You, however, did not.

Overnight, you were a changed woman.

You attended his engagement party with a smile on your face and watched as he put the ring on that disgustingly beautiful woman’s finger. That day too you spoke to him briefly, congratulating him on his engagement and wishing him luck for his work abroad. With his fiancee, Sumin Lee, you talked plenty; initiating the conversation by introducing yourself and carrying it on by complimenting her dress and her ring. You did not miss the way her gaze would repeatedly fall on your scar, judgment and questions flashing in her eyes. Something was unsettling about that woman, something in the look of her eyes that made you want to scream and warn Seungcheol to stay away.

You could not do that, of course.

Instead, you said goodbye to the man you loved and let him leave.

Your game began after that.

You played the first move by getting his number from your grandpa and texting him once he had left.

Hi, it's ____. Hope you have reached safely.

That was the first text you had sent him.

When he replied, you struck up a conversation, asking for recommendations for golf sticks since you wanted to get into golfing. The rest was surprisingly easy. You bonded with him over golf even though in reality you could not give two shits about that boring sport. The conversations flowed naturally and you always made sure it keep things casual, asking for recommendations and advice on anything and everything as if he were a brother to you.

And like that, four years has gone by.

You started living a life completely different from the one you had envisioned for yourself.

Once upon a time, you wanted to be a librarian. You had no interest in overtaking your grandpa’s business and he had accepted that. In the last few years, however, your previous notion changed. You realized that you needed to take over the company and actually get on the field to continue playing the game you were enjoying. Your grandpa was dubious at first but for the last two years, you have been in the position of the vice president of Kim Associations and you must admit, you have been performing beyond what you thought you were capable of. Your grandpa, who has been extremely pleased with your work, resigned a little while ago and assured you of your capabilities to take over.

And finally, today is the day.

Your inauguration ceremony which will officially mark the beginning of your journey as the president of Kim Associations.

“Are you ready, madam? The guests are all here.” Your assistant’s voice snaps you out of your thoughts. You blink, refocusing your attention on your reflection in the mirror. Combing your fingers through the strands of your hair that have been perfectly styled, you speak, “I’ll be out in a second, Yuna.”

“Yes, madam.” The door shuts quietly behind her.

Sucking in a deep breath, you stand up, carefully scanning your outfit in the mirror one last time. Pleased with how the white blazer and pants look on you, you strut out of the dressing room and into the hallway leading to the grand room where the guests await.

As soon as you can get over with the boring ceremony, you can move on to the bigger tasks. Seungcheol is supposed to return home this month which means your time is running out. As soon as he is here, the preparations for marriage will start and you cannot let that happen. You must act fast.

With the ending of your acceptance speech, you step down from the podium, slightly woozy because of the continuous camera flashes. Yuna holds out a bottle of water for you to take a quick sip. As you screw the lid closed, your eyes wander over the room before stopping.

A small gasp parts your lips.

On the other side of the hall, you see Seungcheol talking to your grandpa.

As if sensing your stare he turns his head and his gaze matches yours. A beautiful smile sits on his lips, his eyes shining as he starts heading towards you with a large bouquet of flowers resting on his arm.

Time slows down, and everything around you fades into background noise. Breathlessly, you watch him, soaking in every minuscule detail and committing them to your memory. And lord, is he a vision. Dressed in a three piece grey suit, his freshly styled hair and his blinding smile, you briefly wonder if he is a fragment of your imagination.

You blink a couple of times to snap yourself back to reality before schooling your expression as he stands in front of you.

“Congratulations, President Kim.” He grins, cheeky and proud as he offers you the comically large bouquet.

A huge smile kisses your lips as you accept the flowers. “Seungcheol, I am very pleasantly surprised.”

“That was the intention.” He laughs and it is then that you notice a figure standing right behind him.

It is Sumin, of course, standing next to him with a plastic smile as she congratulates you.

Your mood sours but you don’t let it show.

“You were supposed to return later this month, no?” You peer inquisitively at your love.

“What can I say, business finished early.” He shrugs.

“Which is good because we have a wedding to plan, no honey?” Sumin slings her arms through his as she throws a flirty smile at him. His hand rests on hers and your blood boils.

“Of course.” Your smile is so fake your cheeks hurt. “It was lovely to see you, Seungcheol. I have some investors waiting over there for me. We will catch up later, okay?”

“Of course. Go ahead.”

You push past Sumin, immediately dropping the fake smile as your fingers grip the stem of the flowers in a chokehold.

One week passes by and you fail to make time to catch up with Seungcheol— one-on-one at least. As the new president, piles of work awaited you every day at the office that you had to get through. With the very little free time you had after work, you would text Seungcheol only to get a reply that he was busy preparing for the wedding or visiting his in-laws.

Tonight you were invited to dinner by Seungcheol’s father as he held a small dinner for his close friends and family. You went with the hopes of seeing Seungcheol which were quickly crushed after your arrival. Turns out he and Sumin were out of town for whatever reason and would be running late. The sight of Sumin’s family making themselves comfortable and their boisterous attitude prompted you to leave as soon as dinner was over.

Another bad day has come to an end.

You lie in your bed, wide awake even though it is well past midnight. The work that waits for you in the day ahead along with another myriad of meetings overwhelms you. Your grandpa has not been feeling well so you need to visit him. Plus, there is this tiny issue of Seungcheol getting married to Sumin. You are not sure how you should approach this issue. Creating a scandal is always a good idea but that would end up harming the man you love. Of course, there is always another option…

One thought leads to another which leads you to sleep. At the crack of dawn, you are jolted out of your sleep by what you first think is your alarm. Then you fathom it is your phone ringing.

The caller is the caretaker who lives with your grandpa.

With your heart suddenly beating like you just ran a marathon, you pick up the phone.

“Miss Kim, your grandfather had a stroke. We are on the way to the hospital.”

The next few hours are a blur.

You have long lost your sense of time. After what feels like ages since you reached the hospital, you find yourself, along with some relatives, sitting in a sterile waiting room, the walls bleak and grey.

The clock on the wall reads ten in the morning. No sunlight peeks through, however, because there are no windows where you sit.

“You should have something to eat,” your secretary quietly suggests standing next to you. Her words reach your ears but you fail to register them, staring blankly at the floor.

Life without your grandpa sounds weird. He is the only person on this planet you love and trust unconditionally, the only person who understands and loves you the same way you love him.

He cannot just die, can he?

A while later, you don’t know how long, the doctor comes to give a briefing about the patient's health. He says a lot of words which can be summarized as this: your grandfather had a stroke that caused him to fall into a sleep-like state. When he will wake up from this coma is unknown, it could be days, it could be months. For now, his condition is stable and you can only pray it stays the same.

And just like that, there is a sudden shift in your life as you fall into a new routine. Working from dawn to dusk and then spending the evenings next to your comatose grandpa, holding his hand and hoping he would wake up. People come to visit, including the Chois. On the first day that Seungcheol visited, you shed a tear in his embrace before returning to your hollow, expressionless self. Soon, days blend into weeks which transform into a month.

You start becoming more accepting of your reality. A part of you wonders if this is how your grandpa is preparing you to live a life without him. He has always been in your life as a protective shadow since he adopted you at the age of ten. A car crash took your parents away from you when you were very young, so you never missed them. Your memories of your early childhood are next to non existent but after being adopted, every day was something worth remembering. A kind stranger welcomed you with open arms and legally became your grandfather. He was so much more than just a grandfather, though. He was akin to your parents, a best friend, a guardian.

How does one cope with losing such a precious person?

Life sure will not be fun without him judging from the rumours that you hear going around your company. The way the board of directors and shareholders keep hinting that you may be an unfit candidate to rule over the company in the absence of an experienced man like your grandpa.

Why? Because you are young and unmarried.

How sensible that sounds.

While you may not be getting married any time soon, Seungcheol definitely is. His wedding with Sumin is set in exactly three months which does not leave you with much time on your hands. Your grandpa’s collapse was a momentary distraction but at the same time, it was a learning experience. People started showing their true colours and it helped you come to a decision.

You will play the long game and you will hit two birds with one stone.

The villa where Sumin’s party is taking place is situated a little outside the city.

She has recently launched her own clothing line with the money given by her in-laws as a pre-wedding gift but that part is a secret to the public.

It is almost dinner time when you arrive and the party is in full swing with the music blasting and people covering almost every place of the villa. The place is mainly littered with influencers and models and you recognize a few familiar faces who approach you first to say hi.

You see Sumin skirting around, talking to people animatedly, posing for pictures and ordering the staff around. She has not noticed you come in but you do not mind. You will be seeing her personally very soon.

Dinner finishes and you start saying your goodbyes, using a headache as your excuse. After ensuring everything is set and your plan is successfully in motion you head for the abandoned factory located about a couple hundred meters behind the villa. The place is quiet and poorly lit but best of all, it is a place without any CCTV cameras. People never bother to come here, one because it is an abandoned, dusty factory and two, it ends in a dead end which is also a junkyard pile.

The watch on your wrist reads five minutes to ten thirty which means Sumin will be here anytime soon.

You wait for her under the only lit lamppost in the area, watching the bugs fly around the light before fixing your wandering gaze on the autumn night sky, the faded echoes of the music from the party your background noise. The sky is glittering with stars tonight, you observe.

“Hello?”

The sudden female voice makes you turn around.

Sumin is standing there with a confused look which quickly morphs into caution when she sees you. “So it was you? You asked me to come here?” She questions with a hint of annoyance as she holds up the note you left for her at the dinner table.

Come to the junkyard at ten thirty. If you tell anyone about this it will be very bad for you.

Your reply is a sweet smile which you know will aggravate her.

“Seriously, I don’t have time for your games. I have a party to get back to.” She huffs, crumpling your note and throwing it down to the ground.

“Of course you do,” you nod, stepping closer to her. She waits for you to elaborate but you deny her the pleasure, instead observing her with a mysterious smile. Her petite, thin frame is drowning in an unbuttoned pink fur jacket. Underneath that, she is dressed in a glittery pastel pink crop top and a matching mini skirt with knee-high boots. As if that wasn’t enough glitter, her eyeshadow and her brown hair are equally shining in glitter.

Life must be so fun for her.

“Hello? Care to explain why you brought me out here?” Sumin snaps two fingers before crossing her hands over her chest, and tapping the tip of her heel on the concrete.

You release a deep sigh before looking her straight in the eye. “Break up with Seungcheol.”

She blinks three times as she processes your words before letting out the biggest scoff of amusement. “Come again?”

“You heard me. Break up with him while I’m asking nicely.”

Sumin appears only more flabbergasted which she expresses with a high-pitched laughter bubbling up from her throat. “The audacity you have! Coming to my party and then calling me here with a threatening note only to tell me to break up with my fiance? Holy shit, you really are crazy!”

You silently watch her with your arms crossed, unamused.

Her expression only grows brighter, lighting up with elation as if she just solved the world’s biggest mystery. “I wasn’t wrong! From the day I first saw you at my engagement party, I knew something was up with you. Your eyes were always following Seungcheol! You are delusional, thinking you can take him from me. Even if I break up with him, do you think he would take you as his wife? He treats you like a sister— no no, I’m being too kind. He tolerates you! You are a pesky little ant that keeps bothering him but he is kind enough not to crush you! You are so fucking unbelievable, ___.”

You warned her, she did not listen. Time to bring out the big guns.

Reaching into your handbag, you pull out a small rectangular envelope before tossing it to the ground in front of her.

“What is it?” Sumin asks, raising an annoyed brow. You remain mute as you wait for her to pick it up. With a huff, she does so as she pries it open and pulls out the photos stacked inside. After flipping through only two of them, the colour drains from her face as she screams and drops them all from her hands.

“You! You bitch! Where did you get them from?” Sumin’s eyes are as wide as saucers accompanied by a look of sheer panic on her face that brings you immense joy.

“Oh sweet Sumin,” You smirk. “You should be careful when having an affair behind your fiancee’s back. You are a chaebol, after all. People are always watching.”

“You psychopath!” She hisses, marching towards you. In a fit of wild rage, she grabs you by the collar and screams. “You think you can get away with blackmailing me! I am the future wife of the Choi Corporation’s president. Everyone will believe me. I can just claim those are fake and you are doing this out of jealousy!”

You cannot stifle a chuckle. Calmly, you grab her hands and hold them tight as you challenge, “Sumin, you are awfully noisy for a cheater. You know I can just send these to the press, right? No matter what your truth is, they are going to eat it up. Your reputation will forever be ruined along with Seungcheol’s. Do you think the Chois would let that happen? They would cut you off immediately.”

“You!” Sumin’s frustrated cry pierces the night silence. “You fucking scarred bitch! I will fucking kill you! Do you think my father would just let you go?”

You smirk. Gripping her hands tightly, you pry them off your collars before shoving her away. “You don’t get to touch me, you scheming cunt.”

Sumin stumbles back a few strides when you start taking slow steps towards her, your hands resting behind your back almost as if you were out on an afternoon stroll. A new look of horror sets on her face when you come closer and whisper in her ear, “I know that your daddy is broke. He has barely been keeping his company together for the last three years. The only reason you are marrying Seungcheol is so you can get half of his money and save yourself.”

A shaky breath comes out of her lips as Sumin steps back from you, her figure trembling. You smile, taking another step closer to her. “I also know the things your daddy did to keep this secret from getting out. But imagine what the Chois would do when they discover that your family— a bunch of thugs, was planning to use them from the very beginning. Partnership? Ha— That was never your intention. You just wanted to take advantage of Seungcheol and his company.”

Sumin keeps looking at you, eyes wide and full of disbelief, panting heavily. Her eyes are the personification of loathing and it creates a sense of achievement so big within you, you feel like bursting.

You have seen enough of her drama.

Stepping even closer to her, you sneer. “Break up with Seungcheol before I ruin you and your entire family to the ground.”

“Never!” She yells, taking you by surprise and shoving you down onto the ground. The hard concrete scrapes your palms which you use to brace yourself, leaving behind a sharp sting.

“I am not going to break up with him! Choi Seungcheol is mine, you beast! My father may be bankrupt now but you don’t know what we are still capable of. We have gotten rid of insects like you many times before. It won’t be hard to shut your mouth forever, you bitch!” She hisses, looking down at you.

You roll your eyes, dusting off the dirt from your palms.

“If I were afraid of dying I never would have joined this game, Sumin.”

She sputters, gritting her teeth, eyes shining with tears of frustration, her hands forming fists. She glares at you for a long moment and you can see the gears shifting in her head through her expression as she gradually composes herself before looking down at the ground, shaking her head and laughing. “That is alright. I will start with your grandfather, then.”

The blood in your veins runs ice cold, making you suddenly grow stiff.

She continues to laugh. “That old man is already on life support. It won’t be abnormal if he dies suddenly, will it? Right now, in fact?’’ She grins, pulling out her mobile and teasingly shaking it in her hand. “What do you say? Should I make a call? Show you how easy it is for me?’’

You breathe in and out sharply, your hands forming fists at your sides. Before you can open your mouth, she continues.

“Oh right! I forgot something important. Before I kill him, you should know a secret, ___.”

You remain rooted to your spot, glaring at her. She grins. “Your grandfather, Kim Han Oh? He is your real grandfather, not a kind old man who happened to see you one day and adopted you.”

What?

A scoff of disbelief falls from your lips. “The fear of being exposed has made you crazy, no? You’re saying anything now.” You sigh, standing up and shaking off the dust from your clothes, almost feeling pity for the girl. There is no way she could be serious right now.

Sumin’s lips break into a larger grin as she slowly moves closer to you, her eyes flashing dangerously. “Oh, poor you! You know nothing, sweetheart. Kim Han Oh is your real grandfather. You are connected by blood. But that is not even the best part.” She stops to let out a giggle. “The best part is, you ended up in that orphanage because of him.”

In the eerie stillness of the night, the only sound is the sharp intake of your breath as your body grows stiff. “You are lying.” Your breath comes out uneven.

You wish your words came out stronger.

“Oh, ___. I wish I were. Your father had you out of wedlock. Your mother was a waitress at a bar when she met your father. When you were 3 years old, he finally decided to confess to your grandfather about his secret family, hoping he would accept you and your mom. He never did. He kicked you three out of his house and while returning from his place, the accident occurred.” Sumin pauses, inspecting your behaviour carefully. She tilts her chin up, pointing to your face, “That scar marring your face? You got it because of him, sweetheart.”

By now, your entire world has collapsed as your body starts shutting down, making your vision blurry as you lose your footing. You choke on your breath, trying to form words of disagreement which comes out as a pathetic whimper. Your hands search pointlessly for something to hold onto and with nothing around you, you fall back down on the ground, panting harshly.

The dim ray of the street light falling over you gets blocked by Sumin as she towers over you with a fiendish smile of victory. Sitting in front of you, she places one knee on the ground and rests her hand on the other.

“It hurts, right? It will hurt more when I tell you that the Choi family is aware of this as well.”

Your eyes fly to her face, wide with alarm and despair.

“That’s right, they know what a filthy, low-born you are. Discarded by your grandfather and then taken back out of pity.” Her words are pure venom, each one hurting more than the last. “You prance around thinking you are the queen of the world, chosen among others because you have something special but in reality, you are a disgusting mutt who does not know her place.”

You cough which morphs into a sob as tears start to blur your vision.

This is not how this was supposed to go.

“How dare you,” Sumin breathes, reaching out her claws to tuck a piece of stray hair behind your ear, “even think of touching Seungcheol, hm? He is mine. Even if I fuck ten guys behind his back, he would choose me any day over someone like you.”

“Shut up!” You cry out.

Sumin chuckles. “You should not have poked your filthy nose in my business, ____. I have ruined you with just my words, now watch as I ruin Seungcheol right in front of you.”

“No!” You hiss, clutching her shoulders. She pries your hands off. “Oh yes. I will marry him and I will destroy him and everything he holds dear. Why? Because I can. Because this is my payback for thinking you can mess with me!”

Pushing you away, she stands up, giving you one last look of victory before marching away, the heels of her boots leaving behind echoes of mockery as you pant harshly.

At the last moment, you call out. “Sumin?’’

She turns around. “Ugh, what now—”

A gun goes off.

If there was no silencer, the haunting echo would ripple through the night air. In its absence, there is a small click followed by an eerie stillness as Sumin drops to the ground, falling on her side with a clean bullet hole sitting on her forehead.

Lowering the gun in your hand, you wipe your tears and stand up. Your handbag lies on the ground haphazardly and you pick it up, putting the gun inside like it was when you came here.

With a heavy sigh, you walk towards where her body lies and watch her remain still, looking at you with the blankest pair of eyes as rivulets of blood flow down her temple.

Surprisingly, you do not feel any remorse. For one second, before pulling the trigger, you hesitated, thinking this decision would come back to haunt you. Now, in the beautiful silence of the night, you do not. Somewhere deep down, you knew this was inevitable, hence you brought the gun.

“You should not have underestimated me if you knew where I came from. Filthy people like me will do filthy things for the people we love. We are villains.” You sigh. “Rest in peace, Sumin.”

You spare one last look at her before walking away from the scene, picking up the photos and the note she dropped earlier on the ground along your way.

Morning comes faster than anticipated.

As soon as you come downstairs after waking up, you find your secretary waiting for you with her tablet in her hands, standing at her usual spot even though it is the weekend. The look, however, on her face immediately tells you that the news of Sumin’s death has spread. Schooling your expression, you cross the stairs, heading straight for the kitchen. “Morning, Yuna. Is today not a Saturday?”

“Yes, madam. But…” She hesitates. “Did you hear the news?’’

“What news?” You pick up a glass of orange juice and sip on it.

“Sumin was murdered. Kim Sumin.”

You widen your eyes, setting down the glass with a loud clank. “What?’’

“Yes,” Yuna fidgets as she steps closer to you, eyes shining with mischief as if she is about to share a big secret. “Last night. Apparently, she was shot in the head. The Lees and Chois have given out special orders. No news outlet knows the details of her murder. It is being kept under wraps.”

“I see. How unfortunate,” You stare at the ground before going back to finish your juice.

“Since she was murdered last night while the party was ongoing, the police will be questioning all the attendees. You will also get a call sometime soon.”

“Hm, I left early so I won’t be much help but sure.” You pretend to be absent-minded. “Anyway, is there anything in my schedule today?’’

Yuna opens her mouth to speak but you get her off with a raise of your hand, “Never mind, it doesn’t matter. Cancel it. I need to visit Seungcheol and see how he is doing. He should be at home, no?”

“Yes, madam.”

There is a sort of eerieness in the air when you step inside Seungcheol’s mansion. A mais greets you, announcing that Seungcheol is busy seeing a visitor in his study. You lie, telling her he is already expecting you and march towards his room, your heels clicking against the marble floor. You ponder whether it is your imagination that makes his otherwise magnificent home look dull. Maybe it is because of the dark weather outside along with the empty hallways and the lack of usual decorative lights that cast this entire place with a bleak, grey spell. It feels like you have entered the haunted castle of a prince mourning the death of his lover.

If only he knew she was not a lover but a witch.

The voices inside Seungcheol’s study are loud and frustrated enough that you can hear them from the outside quite clearly. Standing in front of the wooden double doors, you lean closer and easily identify Sumin’s father’s voice as he yells. “I need to know who is behind this as soon as possible!”

“Trust me when I say that I will get to the bottom of this.” Replies Seungcheol. “The one who killed her is also an enemy of the Choi family.”

How dramatic.

You roll your eyes. Would he feel the same if he knew what she was doing behind his back?

“That is why I am telling you to trust me. You cannot make rash decisions now. I have employed a good friend of mine as the leading officer in this case. The truth will be out sooner or later.”

“It should be out soon! The bastard ruined us! He killed my daughter and ruined this entire family!” The old man keeps yelling.

You smirk.

It is a she.

He keeps going on about giving his trust to the Chois and telling Seungcheol that he has his full faith in him. You cannot help shaking your head in mirth. Of course, Mr. Lee will say that. He knows that the less he is involved in the investigation, the better because otherwise, all his dirty secrets will be uncovered. He just needs to act like a devastated father and let his daughter’s fiance take care of it.

As you sense their conversation coming to an end, you walk back a few steps, pretending as if you just arrived and are about to make your way inside. The door to the study opens as Mr. Lee steps out, frustrated, murmuring something under his breath. He does not look to be grieving at all which is not a surprise for you. You knew very well that Sumin was only a tool to get him what he wanted, money.

You greet him with a sad expression but he is too busy thinking to himself that he absentmindedly sends a nod your way before marching away.

Once again, you grin.

The entire situation keeps getting more hilarious.

With a deep breath, you take a moment to compose yourself before pushing the door and stepping inside his study. Seungcheol who was staring out the window with his hands on his hips turns around as he hears you step inside.

“___?” He is surprised.

Your heart skips a beat as his eyes meet yours. He looks beat down, like he did not get any sleep the whole night, his appearance dishevelled. His white shirt is crinkled, folded messily up to his arms, his hair unstyled and the slightest dust of stubble covering his chin. A glass of half-drunk whiskey sits on his desk.

For one horrible moment, you wonder if he loved Sumin. That would not be possible, this marriage was only a business deal.

“Hey,” You give him a sad smile which comes out genuinely. Stepping closer to him, you pull him in a gentle hug. “I heard the news this morning. I am so sorry.”

Seungcheol nods, reaching for the drink and finishing it in one go.

“Does the police have any leads?”

“No.” He grunts. “It is quite almost the perfect crime.”

Oh my.

“What do you mean?”

“There is no CCTV footage. It was a blind spot that remained empty most of the time. Sumin did not receive any text messages and there is nothing on her phone that indicates any threats. The last footage of her is her leaving the party by herself and walking towards the abandoned factory. The crime scene was also clean as hell. There are no signs of struggle and the gun is yet to be found.” He grows more frustrated with each word.

You reach to rub his arm soothingly, “Give them some time, I am sure they will find something.”

“I fucking hope so.” He sighs, rubbing his face with his palms.

A grim pause settles in the air and it slowly becomes unnerving. You promptly ask, “Seungcheol?”

“Hm?’’ You calling his name brings him out of his head and makes him turn around to face you properly.

For a horrible moment, your throat closes up.

As you look into his eyes, flashbacks of the previous night come to you in tsunami waves as you feel yourself slipping into an endless pit.

You have tried your level best to keep the things Sumin revealed yesterday out of your mind but when you look at Seungcheol, a loathsome sense of betrayal overtakes you. At the same time, there is fear. You are terrified that the look in your eyes gives you away, telling him about the crime you committed last night.

It is all-consuming, paralyzing.

Amid the battle of words and thoughts inside your mind, you end up asking, “Did you love her?”

He frowns.

You hold your breath, watching and waiting. A look of offence seems to cover his face and you hate it. He should be saying that he did not love her, they were in an agreement of convenience and she was like a friend to him.

“Why do you ask?’’

You shrug, “No reason. I was just curious. I wonder what it feels like to lose a loved one.” You look away, putting on a face of ponder.

Seungcheol remains silent and you start accepting your defeat, realising he probably fell in love with her.

What a horrible sensation.

“I was not in love with her if that is what you are asking. I was comfortable with her like a friend and I was happy to share my future with her. She was nice and kind and beautiful, so somewhere along the line I saw myself falling for her.”

For some reason, his words hurt more, despite him saying he is not in love with her. You detest that look in his eyes, a look that says he has transported back in time and is remembering her with fondness that you wish he would feel for you.

“I see,” you whisper. “Anyhow, I hope you find her killer. If you need any help, I am here.”

“Thanks,” he nods. “The police will probably drop by sometime to ask general questions.”

“Hm, I am happy to help even though I am not sure how helpful I can be.”

“It is just general procedure, so don't worry about it.”

“I am not.” You smile.

The next afternoon an officer in plain clothes pays a visit to your office. You have been expecting it and you welcome him in your space, offering him a seat on the large couch in the middle of your office room. As you sit down in front of him, an assistant brings two cups of tea before leaving you two alone in a room of silence minus the ticking of the clock.

The officer begins. “I am Sergeant Thomas. You probably know why I am here.”

“Yes, sergeant, I am aware.”

“Right.” He nods before producing a small notebook and a pen from his pocket.

“So this is a basic procedure. Please try to remember as many details as possible.”

“I will try my best,” You nod, crossing one leg over the other.

“Did you talk to the victim on the night of her murder?’’

“No. I arrived late and left early. Besides, she was already very busy talking to everyone.” Truth.

“Did you see anything different about her? Like she was uncomfortable or scared?’’

“No, she seemed to be her normal bubbly self.” Truth.

“Did anything unusual happen at the party?”

“Unusual?��

“Maybe any argument or fight? Between any of the attendees?” He shrugs.

“No, nothing like that.” You shake your head.

He nods. “And when did you leave the party?”

“Around 9.45 pm.” Lie.

“Why did you leave early?’’

“I had a long work day and a headache was creeping up on me.” Lie.

“Right,” he nods, jotting something down in his notebook. “And when you were leaving did you see anyone suspicious around the area?”

“Not that I remember of, no.”

“Did you see the victim outside? Maybe with someone or by herself?”

“No.”

The officer sighs loudly. “I guess that covers it.”

A smile creeps on your lips but you cover it by offering him a sympathetic look. “I suppose you have not found many leads yet.”

“Unfortunately so,” the man nods, sipping his tea. “This will be a tough case to break.”

You shift in your seat, “How did she die, if you don’t mind my asking.”

“She was shot in the head.”

You gasp, covering your mouth. “Oh no.”

He nods. “Thank you for your time, President Kim. If you remember anything else please contact me.” He stands up, holding out his card. You take it with a nod. “I will sergeant, thank you.”

“Good day, then.” He sends a nod your way before walking out of your office.

You watch him leave with a diabolic smile before crumpling his card and throwing it in the trash, heaving out a loud sigh.

Level one completed successfully.

2 months later

Life is mundane.

With your grandpa still being comatose and the investigation of Sumin’s murder coming to a standstill due to the lack of evidence, there is nothing to keep you on your toes.

With the lapse of time, you had grown to be indifferent about everything.

Until now, when debates have sparked about Seungcheol’s capability to lead the Choi Corporation. Finally, the time has come for you to make your second move. They have been facing a hard time, wavering stock prices and a heavy debate over being in favour or against Seungcheol as the company’s head. With Sumin’s murder and the end of the union with Lee Media, things are extremely unstable as the power-hungry board of trustees deems him unsuitable to lead the company. Not to mention rumours have been going around stating that the Choi family was behind Sumin’s murder.

Now is the perfect time to start working on the second half of your plan. You have been helping them secure investments, regularly sitting for meetings with Seungcheol and his dad to plan new projects. Your plan can now be initiated seamlessly.

Today is another one of those days and you, Seungcheol and his dad have come together in his office after work to go over the profits of the latest joint venture.

“This is good but we can do better.” Mr Choi says, setting down the sheets on the coffee table and rubbing the bridge of his nose. “Most shareholders are still against Seungcheol and they want quick results.”

At the mention of his name, the man sighs and looks at his father, exasperated. “Dad, we have gone over this. We need to keep working to rebuild what we have lost. And we’re starting to see results. The board will give up sooner or later.”

“We need something more solid, son. We need something right now to prove to everyone that Choi Corporation still has a very bright future.”

You cannot resist this perfect opportunity.

Setting down the spreadsheet you were holding, you lean back on the couch and cross your arms before looking at Seungcheol. “You need to form a union.”

Seungcheol raises a thick brow. Mr Choi shuffles, peering at you inquisitively. You have to stifle a pleased smile. “Choi Corporation needs to form a long-term alliance with another big industry.” You pause. “And what better way to do that than through matrimony.”

There is a stretch of silence followed by your words.

Seungcheol scoffs, “What non—”

“Aha!” His father interrupts with a look of pure elation on his face. “You are so right! Why did I not think of this before…” The light in his face starts to diminish. “But which elite family would agree to ally with us now, unless…” An unmistakable flash of hope sparks in his eyes as he looks at you.

Absolutely delighted, you wait for him to voice the words.

“___, would you… be willing to?” His voice is full of hope.

“Dad!” Seungcheol gasps, standing up and scowling at his father with bafflement.

Oh baby, you are yet to be surprised.

Completely ignoring Seungcheol’s outburst and holding eye contact with his father, you reply. “I would be honored to.”

“What?” Seungcheol whips his head at you.

“Then it is settled,” Mr. Choi stands up with a clap of his hands. “We need to start preparing.”

You finally let your gaze travel to Seungcheol who is looking at you like he cannot believe you just did that. There are unsaid questions in his eyes, mixed with confusion and maybe even suspicion which he does not get to voice because he is going after his father. “Dad, you cannot be serious. Sumin’s case is still unsolved and—”

“You can solve that after the engagement, no? It is important to save the company right now. I understand how you feel but this way we can secure your future. I have known ___’s grandfather for so long and this would be a perfect match.”

Seungcheol looks at his father, distraught. His mouth opens but he fails to form words, raking a frustrated hand through his hair instead.

Watching their interaction you know for sure, you have won this round as well.

The next day you pay Seungcheol a visit on your way home from work. When you step inside his mansion, there is a different air about you which is reflected in the way you walk; like you own the place. You find Seungcheol in his study as you expected, still dressed in work clothes as he sips a cup of coffee with his eyes trained on his laptop. For a moment, you let yourself admire the way he looks in that white shirt folded at the sleeves, the top two buttons undone and his perfectly messy hair that can only be made by continuously running his hands through it.

This man is going to be yours.

Knocking on his open door, you make your presence known and step in, “Hey there.”

Seungcheol looks up and when his eyes lock with yours you see the lack of shine they previously used to have when he saw you. There is also a change in his reaction as he greets you by simply uttering your name.

You had expected resistance from him so it is fine.

“I came to check up on you.” You state in your friendliest voice as you stop in front of his desk. Pointing towards the couch on your left, you ask. “May I?”

He nods, watching you sit down and place your crimson handbag on the mahogany coffee table. Then, he gets up and comes to take a seat on the couch opposite you.

“You don’t look well.” You start.

“Yes,” he watches you carefully. “I’ve been trying to adjust myself to the upcoming changes.”

You heave out a sigh. “Listen, I know you are not up for this change—’’

“That’s an understatement,’’ he remarks drily.

You frown. “I don’t understand why you are mad at me.” You do not hide the indignation in your voice.

Seungcheol regards you silently and you can see that he is trying to hold back questions; questions he has about this sudden partnership, your prompt agreement and your intentions behind them. You see it all in his eyes and you know he does not voice them because they would hurt you, because his suspicion is just a form of his own resistance and he has no proof to back up his theories.

After a long moment, he exhales loudly, letting his head hang low before rubbing his face with his palm.

“This is just…too sudden.” He huffs out a breath before shaking his head. “I still cannot believe you and my dad just fixed my engagement right in front of me without asking me once.”

A small smile graces your lips. “Seungcheol, you know that I will not get engaged to you if you are not fully on board with this idea, right?”

You hold his gaze and notice how his features visibly soften as he nods. You continue. “I understand you are still hooked on what happened and I won’t force you to move on. This will just be a business partnership which will benefit both our companies.”

“You’re right.” Seungcheol murmurs, his eyes cast down as if he is lost in thought.

“Your father wants us to get engaged next week. Are you okay with that?”

Your words make him sit up straight, newfound determination sparkling in his eyes. “That works for me. How about you?”

“Me too.” You give him your most flattering smile.

You get engaged to Seungcheol on a Saturday.

The ceremony is very small— almost nonexistent, taking place only in the presence of Seungcheol’s family, his secretary and yours. Somewhere within you, you sense an emptiness caused by the absence of your grandpa. At the same time, remembering him leaves a bitter taste in your mouth. You are still wrapping your head around the information Sumin revealed to you months ago.

Of course, you did some digging and went deeper to find out about your parents, which you never thought you would do. You never thought you would long for them or feel sorry for them, but you do now. Still, the anger does not fade away. It won’t until you get to confront your grandpa, which is why he must wake up. He has to.

Immediately after the short engagement ceremony, an official statement is released from both of your companies, sending the press into a frenzy. They treat it as if it is the biggest happening of the decade, even bigger than Seungcheol’s previous engagement, writing hundreds of articles and gossip tabloids. The general public does not hold back either, coming up with various theories linking you, Seungcheol, and Sumin together. Many say that you will be the next victim of the Choi family— they will get rid of you like Sumin.

Their words make you laugh. If the people knew the truth, what would they say? Would they understand you?

Probably not.

Which is fine, because your lifelong dream has come true.

You are going to marry Choi Seungcheol.

Just one week after your engagement, your grandpa wakes up from his coma.

You are stepping out of the plane after returning from your business trip to Hong Kong when you check the text from your secretary. Your grandpa woke up from his coma two hours ago and is very stable now.

The news has you standing still for a moment. There are mixed feelings but the most prominent feeling you sense is dread. You wonder what he will say. Would anything he say make you love him the way you used to?

Probably not.

When you step into your grandpa’s VIP ward, it is crowded. Your secretary, your grandpa’s caretaker and your future father-in-law are already there, hovering around his bed.

“Look who is here finally!” Mr. Choi grins as he spots you, standing up from his seat that is right by your grandpa’s bed. “Come in, come in.”

Your grandpa is seated on the bed, his back supported by pillows, looking a lot better than the last time you saw him. As soon as he sees you step in, his eyes shine and a large smile spreads on his lips.

A piece of your heart breaks.

“I hope you don’t mind, ____. I have already told him the good news.” Mr Choi says mischievously and you force a smile at him.

“Mr. Choi, could I have a moment with my grandpa, in private?”

“Of course, of course!” He nods and ushers everyone out of the room. When the door closes behind you and the silence settles, you step towards the bed.

“____, come, come! Sit.” Your grandpa motions to the seat by his bed.

Once you are seated, he immediately captures your hand in his, his frail, bony fingers clasping yours tightly as his eyes shine with unshed tears. “Oh ___! So much has happened. How could I miss it all! My little girl got engaged and I missed it!”

You cannot bring yourself to meet his eyes and for some reason, he fails to spot your weird behaviour. He continues, “I have missed you so much. Did you miss me? The nurse told me you have not been visiting regularly.” He looks at you expectantly.

You have to swallow a hard lump in your throat when you finally speak. “Grandpa, we need to talk.”

He lets go of your hands, pinching his brows together. “What is wrong?”

“Is there a secret you are hiding from me?”

“What? What secret?” He scoffs. “What are you—”

“You are my real grandfather, aren’t you?” You snap.

Time stills for a moment. Your grandpa watches you, his eyes slowly widening with alarm as seconds tick by. “I…y-you—” He stammers, looking bewildered.

You bite your lip hard to stop yourself from crying. “For the last two months, I have been waiting. Hoping, praying, that what I learned is not true even though everything pointed out otherwise. Please, tell me I am wrong. Tell me I am misunderstanding, please! Tell me you did not lie to me, grandpa!”

By now tears are rolling down your cheeks as you grab his hands in a desperate hold. He does not meet your gaze, looking down instead as he tries to stifle a sob.

“Why did you do it?” Messy tears blur your vision as you shake him, trying to make him look at you. “Why did you hate my parents so much? Why did you hate me so much, tell me!”

“I did not hate you, please— I…I did not know better.” He pleads, holding your hands. “I…I expected better things from your father. He was never the son I wanted him to be and when I found out he had a hidden family, I…I just lost it. I did not want them to die, you have to believe me.” His eyes are wide, his grip on your hands tightening as the desperation comes off him in waves.

“I felt so guilty that I…I could not look at you. You were so young and the accident left you with that scar and I felt responsible for it. So I sent you to that orphanage but that did not ease my guilt either. I sent you away but I did not forget you. I did not abandon you, I swear! I always had my eyes on you and I made sure you were taken care of. Years went by and as you grew up, I saw what an amazing future you had ahead of you. You— you were good at everything! So I decided to adopt you, give you the opportunity to fill out your potential—

“So I was an investment?” You cut him off with a glare.

“No!” Your grandpa begs. “It wasn’t like that! I…I learned to overlook my guilt. I…I did it out of love, ___. I was miserable without you. You have to believe me.” His eyes hold so much hope and desperation yet every word he says makes him appear more like a stranger to you.

“I don’t care!” You yell, snatching your hands from his grip. The rage flowing through your blood prevents you from remaining seated. You stand on your feet and look down at him, your teeth gritting in anger. “I don’t care if you did it out of love! You lied to me. If you loved me, you would have told me the truth when I was old enough. Did you think I never would have found out? Do you…do you know how awful it made me feel when I heard it from a fucking stranger!” The rage, the betrayal, the frustration you feel is maddening.

“My child, please, I’m sorry. Just listen—” Your grandpa’s pleas to listen fall deaf on your ears as you glower at him. How could he do that to you? How could he do that to your parents? How is it possible that your heart is ripping apart in pain for two people you don’t even remember?

Absentmindedly, your hand reaches to touch the faded scar on your left cheek, the surface still slightly bumpy to the touch.

Your grandpa grabs your hand once more, breaking the train of your thoughts. As soon as he touches you, you step back, snatching your hand away from his grip.

“___, please, listen to me.” He begs.

“No,” you shake your head. “I loved you. You were my rock, grandpa. And this is how you repay me?”

The longer you look at him, the crueler you find yourself becoming. The man you have known your entire life starts to appear more and more unfamiliar. Wiping all the tears from your face, you take a deep, shuddering breath. Your hands curl into fists as you look him straight in the eye and announce. “You are not invited to the wedding.”

“What?” He gasps, his mouth hanging agape as one of his hands reaches out to try to grab onto you.

“You heard me. Don’t try to contact me. If I want to see you again, I will come find you.”

You don’t look back as you storm out of the room.

The old man’s pitiful sobs do not make you turn around as you block the noises by loudly shutting the door behind you.

The first thing you do when you get back home is open a bottle of wine. Chugging a quarter of it, you plop down on the cold living room floor.

Your phone vibrates with a new message inside your pocket and with an annoyed grunt, you fish it out. There is a missed call from Seungcheol followed by a message from him saying how happy he is that your grandpa woke up. Along with it, there are a bunch of texts from different people in your company and other firms, telling you how glad they are for you and what gifts they have sent for your grandpa.

It is aggravating. In a fit of rage, you hurl your phone away as it hits the couch first before dropping face-down on the floor.

Fuck them all.

You down more of the red liquid, finding the bitter taste oddly addictive. The more you drink the sweeter it tastes as a soothing haziness settles in your brain that numbs every feeling, every thought you had.

With the bottle almost empty and clutched to your chest, you soon fall asleep on the floor.

Next thing you know, you are violently being shaken awake from your slumber.

The first thing you feel is a raging headache that leaves your vision blurry for a few solid seconds. When you regain it, you find Yuna hovering over you, grabbing your shoulders. Behind her, you spot the worried face of your housekeeper, Mrs. Min.

Your secretary keeps saying something but the throbbing headache prevents you from hearing any of it as you struggle to sit up straight. Taking a deep, staggering breath, you squeeze your eyes shut before opening them again.

“Madam, are you okay? Can you hear me?”

You finally manage to look at her straight. “Fuck— what is it Yuna? What are you doing here? What time is it?”

“It is 2 am, madam. We have been trying to reach you for the past two hours. Your fiancee is on his way. You were not opening the door so I called your housekeeper to let me in.”

Right, Mrs. Min knows your code.

“I don’t understand, what is the emergency?” You sigh, irately rubbing your temples to ease the headache.

“Madam,” your secretary pauses and you have to force yourself to lift your head again and look at her. “Your grandfather passed away two hours ago.”

Suddenly, your mind is clear.

Your body stiffens, and the headache instantly fades into thin air. You are more alert than you have ever been before.

Wide-eyed, you stare at her, waiting for something you don’t know. Maybe she will say that it is a prank, maybe you will wake up any moment from this nightmare, maybe she will repeat herself and you will realise you heard wrong.

None of that happens.

Yuna continues. “I am really sorry. He was in his sleep when his heart rate suddenly spiked before stopping. They could not bring him back.”

You pick yourself up from the ground before gently sitting down on the couch, your eyes trained on the blank wall ahead of you. An agonizing wave of anguish swallows your whole being as a gaping hole of numbness spreads within you with the passing of each second.

You don’t blink. You don’t move. You don’t cry.

You sit and stare at the wall until your secretary offers. “Should I drive you to the hospital?”

You nod.

“Would you like me to call Mr Choi and tell him to meet you there?”

You nod again.

At noon, the funeral ceremony comes to an end.

You get a glimpse of the fruitful life your grandpa lived by the number of guests who come to give you their condolences.

Thankfully, Seungcheol and his dad took over early on as they ran the ceremony and managed the guests while you sat in a corner in silence.

The entire ceremony finishes without you shedding a single tear. Neither do you cry in the car as Seungcheol drives you home.

However, the minute you step into your penthouse and tread sluggishly to your bedroom, you spot the photo of you and your grandpa on your nightstand and finally break down.

Holding the photo frame tightly against your chest, you curl into a ball on the floor and howl like a dying creature. Tremors wrack your body as your sob intensifies along with the soul-crushing remorse and pain for what you have lost.

Perhaps it is your ruinous crying that makes Seungcheol knock on your door as he steps in with a mug of hot tea and finds you curled up and wailing on the floor.

He looks distressed and unsure for a moment, debating whether to give you some privacy before going against it. Instead, he comes closer and sets the mug down on the nightstand before gently placing a hand on your shoulder.

You continue weeping and Seungcheol slowly maneuvers your feeble body into a sitting position before he scoops you up and sets you down on the bed. But he doesn’t let you go. His arm remains a firm hold around your body and without thinking you wrap your arms around his neck as tightly as humanly possible, trying to bury yourself and your sorrows in his body. Your action makes him only embrace you tighter as he uses one hand to stroke your hair repeatedly in an attempt to comfort you.

“I fought with him the last time I saw him,” you yawl between sobs, face mushed in Seungcheol’s shoulder. “I fought with him, Cheol! He hates me…he will never forgive me.”

“Hush, hush now.” Seungcheol soothes, holding you tighter if that is even possible. “It is alright. He knows how much you love him, ___. He could never be mad at you.”

“I should have told him how much I loved him!” You howl, digging your fingernails into his back. “What have I done, Cheol? How could I do that?”

“It is alright. Everything will be okay.” Seungcheol chants repeatedly while tenderly rocking your limp frame, allowing you to cry your heart out. The tears that had not flowed in the last ten hours pour out ceaselessly, making a mess on Seungcheol’s jacket.

Time ticks by. The tea grows cold. The sun starts to lower in the sky.

When you have finally calmed down and can breathe without choking from tears, Seungcheol lets you go.

He sits in silence next to you as you wipe your tears and snot using his handkerchief.

“You should eat something.” He whispers. You shake your head, crumpling the piece of cloth in your hands as you gaze at it in a blank stare.

Next to you, Seungcheol sighs. “Would you like to lie down for a bit? I will give you some privacy.” He stands up but you immediately pull him back down before wrapping your arms around him and resting your head on his chest. His arms snake around your body once more as you listen to his heartbeat.

You realize how glad you are to have him next to you. How could you ever go through a day like today without him holding you in his arms?

“Thank you,” your voice is the faintest whisper of gratitude. For a moment, you think he did not hear you but then he shifts, cupping your cheek as you look up at him.

“You don’t have to thank me. I am sorry this is all I can do.” He tenderly brushes a thumb over the scar on your cheek, making your heart soar.

You immediately shake your head. “You are doing so much.” You whisper, eyes trailing down to his lips. Mirroring your gaze, Seungcheol’s eyes also travel to your lips and unconsciously, you find yourself leaning a tad bit closer to him. Once again, he mirrors your actions.

Your eyes fall closed and a moment later, you feel Seungcheol’s soft lips against yours. The kiss is tender and shy as if the waters are being tested. You lean in, grabbing the lapels of his jacket to bring him closer. Against your touch, his body relaxes as the kiss deepens, drawing out a soft moan from you. You taste peppermint on his tongue, a sigh of pleasure escaping your lips when he returns your kiss with equal fervent, exploring your mouth.

The kiss is beautifully breathtaking. It is everything you imagined and more, your late night fantasies gift-wrapped in a pink bow.

Seungcheol is the first one to pull back as the two of you pant for air, still holding on to each other. His eyes trace all over your face as if he is trying to remember every small detail about you. You do the same, peering at him through your lashes as your thumb strokes his cheek and you lean in for another kiss.

This time, it is more passionate as Seungcheol envelops you with his body, gently pushing you behind so that your back meets the mattress. He lays on top of you, one hand holding on to the nape of your neck while the other explores your body, moving from your waist down to your legs. His warm hand traces down your leg under your skirt before coming back up as he squeezes your thigh.

A moan falls from your lips, breaking the kiss and he uses the opportunity to bite your lip softly.

His eyes lock with yours for a moment, his hand hovering near your inner thigh as he silently waits for your permission. You comply, reattaching his mouth on yours and opening your legs wider as he gives the flesh of your thigh a particularly harsh squeeze, the pad of his thumb stroking your inner thigh, so close to where you want him to touch you.

Then, you feel the warmth of his fingers over your core before he cups your pussy over your panties.

You whimper. “Please.”

“What?” He mouths against your lips.

“Touch me,” you reply, chasing his lips to reconnect with yours.

Seungcheol obeys you, his fingers slipping underneath your panties and brushing against your pussy. The sensation, the touch you have craved for so long makes you jolt in pleasure, a shaky breath falling from your lips. His biceps become your anchor as you grip them firmly to ground yourself.

Seungcheol’s lips trace your jaw before trailing down your neck while his fingers rub your pussy. Your hips writhe, chasing his touch while he peppers your neck with kisses before fixing on a particular spot beneath your ear that makes you whimper. Then, he pushes one finger in, dark eyes trained on you as your pleasure amplifies.

“Yes,” you shut your eyes closed, revelling the feeling of his finger inside you. Soon, one finger becomes two and he slowly moves them in and out of you. One of your legs wraps around his waist while you pull him closer to smash your lips against his. Your tongue meets his with a fiery passion, an urgency to claim his as yours. Inside you, his fingers pick up the pace, making your body taught as you start climbing your high.

“C-Cheol…” You pant, looking at him with pleading eyes even though you are unsure if you want to come right now or draw it out.

“Hm?” He hums, eyes hazy with a film of lust. As if teasing you, his thumb brushes over your clit ever so slightly, drawing out a shuddering whine from your lips that makes him chuckle quietly. The sound feels like magic to your ears, a drug to your system that heightens your pleasure. His teeth dig into the soft flesh of your neck, undoubtedly leaving a mark.

“Please,” you heave, clutching his shoulder with one hand and wrapping the other around the broad expanse of his back. Humming against your neck, he uses his fingers to rub an even deeper spot inside you as his thumb rubs your clit mercilessly.

“Oh fuck, yes,” You hiss, throwing your head back, your toes curling as you clutch him tighter. “I’m gonna come.”

“Do it then,” his voice is a quiet order.

He curls his fingers inside you and flicks your clit hard which does the job for you. Your release is a tidal wave of mind-breaking pleasure as your body goes tense, your hips arching off the bed, your mouth hanging open as a reaction to the overwhelming pleasure.

The onslaught of pleasure leaves your vision blurry with unshed tears and your mind numb to everything as you slowly descend from the throes of heavenly bliss.

When your mind has regained some clarity, you see Seungchol still lying on top of you, his eyes locked in on your lips which he is touching with the fingers that were inside of you mere moments ago. Without breaking eye contact with him, you gently hold his hand and push his index and middle finger inside your mouth, sucking them. Seungcheol’s adam’s apple bobs, his eyes flickering with impure intentions that are clearly expressed from his hard-on digging into your belly.

Sucking his fingers clean, you pop them off your mouth, your hand still holding his. Your fingers trace over his knuckles and veins, your eyes never daring to stray from his. It is as if a sudden spell has been cast on the two of you that has locked you in a trance of breathless admiration. It is a shame all good moments must come to an end.

As if zapped by electricity, Seungcheol suddenly pulls his hand out of yours as he gets off your body. The air in the room suddenly shifts to slight awkwardness as Seungcheol blinks furiously, adjusting his pants.

“I…I am sorry.” He mutters, not looking at you as you sit up on the bed. “You were mourning. I should not have done that.”

“I asked you to.” You state with a frown. Does he regret it? “I needed to forget…things for a moment.”

Seungcheol’s eyes finally meet yours as a sigh escapes from his lips and he nods, looking unsure. “Right…”

“I liked it a lot.” You find yourself saying. The look in your eyes is heated, mirroring a newfound fire of desire he has lit within you. Seungcheol swallows, gaze transfixed on you before he clears his throat, the look in his eyes shifting.

“Get some rest.” He whispers, walking out of the room and gently shutting the door behind him.

Turns out one can live with soul-crushing guilt.

It has been a week since your grandpa’s death and you find yourself slowly falling back into your old routine. As the days pass by slowly, the pain somewhat lessens but your guilt remains the same, your conscience constantly reminding you of what could have been if you behaved differently with him that day.

That is an answer you will never receive because what is gone is gone, and you are forcing yourself to learn to live with it.

Things with Seungcheol are slightly tense as well. After that particular moment you two shared last week, he has been avoidant. Since that day there has not been any one-on-one interaction between the two of you as he has been checking up on you from time to time with brief text messages. His aloofness has bothered you of course but you have decided not to let it get to you, happy with the fading mark he left on your neck and the memories of that afternoon.

That is why, on a Tuesday afternoon at your office, Seungcheol’s sudden visit surprises you because it is the last place you would expect him to show up.

You straighten up in your chair, palms resting on the armrest as he marches into your office, dressed in his regular office wear that is covered underneath a long black trenchcoat, an odd sort of hurry in his steps.

Your silly assumption that he is here to take you on a surprise date quickly changes when you notice the expression on his face. His jaw is clenched, brows knitted in a frown as he regards you with an accusatory glare.

“Seungcheol?” You stand up behind your desk. “Hey, what brings you here?”

Seungcheol’s brisk steps eat up the rest of the distance as he stands in front of your desk, sparing little space between the two of you. Instead of replying, his eyes remain fixed on you for a moment too long, making you hold your breath.

Your gut senses severe doom from how he regards you, an unfathomable look in his eyes. Finally, he interrogates. “Is there something you are hiding from me, ___?”

“What?” You blink, stumped. “Why would you ask that?”

Seungcheol falls into silence once again as your mind starts running rampant. No matter how desperately you try to convince yourself that he could not possibly be talking about that thing, your mind ends up going there. The silence and the foreign look in his eyes make your fear unimaginably real with each passing second.

“I need you to be honest with me.” He says as he inhales deeply, as if trying to hold his emotions at bay, his eyes never straying from yours. “Please. I am giving you a chance.”

Your heart runs a mile a minute as you suddenly find yourself at a loss for words. The entirety of your body grows as stiff as a board while you find yourself falling into a bottomless pit of ruination. Seungcheol remains unmoving, watching you with a pointed gaze as you struggle to read him, struggle to find the right words. You feel so naked, so transparent right now as if he can read everything fleeting through your mind.

Damn it, how did he find out?

“Madam, the board meeting started five minutes ago.”

A sharp inhale transports you out of your spiralling mind as you whip your head away from Seungcheol when your secretary peers into the room with the reminder.

Like you have been struck by lightning, your body jolts. “Y-yes, I am coming. Give me a minute.” You give her a look of dismissal before focusing on your fiance. In your most composed voice, you say, “I don’t know what this is about, Cheol but we can continue this conversation—”

“I will send you an address.” He cuts you off with a seething glare, stepping away from your desk as if he is about to leave. “You will be there at 9 pm, ___.” There is no room for arguments.

He leaves before you can form an answer and you stand rooted in your spot with tremors in your hands and a parched throat, your feet suddenly too heavy to move.

You deep down knew this would happen one day, didn’t you?

You would be found sooner or later but you never wished to be caught by Seungcheol. You would have much preferred to be caught by the police and given a life sentence. At least that way, you did not have to face him.

“Madam?” There is a knock on your door once again, making you jump.

“Damn it, Yuna! I said give me a minute!”

It is one minute to nine pm when you arrive at the location Seungcheol had sent you earlier in the day. You realized karma had gotten you when you clicked on the location and realised it was the exact place where Sumin died.

The world stopped spinning for a moment too long.

Out of pure shock, you dropped your phone from your hands as your knees gave out and you fell to the ground, the realization that everything is coming to an end too much for you to fathom.

Surprisingly, though, it has been easy for you after the initial shock wore off. You had accepted your fate.

Gladly, in fact.

No more pretending now. It is a relief. He knows the real you and whatever decision he makes now, you will accept it gladly. You do not feel remorse for what you have done and you do not see a point in hiding anymore.

And so, you sit in your car, parked a few meters away from the place where he called you. Seungcheol is already here, his car parked a few feet ahead of yours. When you glance at the dashboard clock, you see it is two minutes past nine.

With a loud sigh, you pop the muscles in your neck before stepping out of the car. A gust of chilly air flows by, making you shiver slightly. With your hands fisted in the pockets of your trench coat, you walk ahead, the sound of your heels against the granite your only company.

All too soon, you find yourself in front of that abandoned factory and when you look left, it feels like deja vu. Seungcheol stands there, underneath that yellow street lamp, right where Sumin stood that night.

Your eyes meet his, cold and unblinking and if you did not know any better, you would think he was a statue. A very mesmerising one.

You inhale a lungful of the cold night air before turning left and walking towards him, trying your best to ignore the subtle tremble in your legs. With a few feet of distance left between the two of you, you come to a stop and breathe. “Good evening, Cheol.”

He keeps looking at you impassively but you start noticing the minute changes in his eyes. They shift from disappointment to betrayal to anger and you know very well what lies ahead of you.

Yet, you are unreasonably calm; so calm that you surprise yourself.

Just when you are preparing to start the conversation since he is immobile, Seungcheol reaches into his coat pocket to fish out his phone. His brows tangle in a soft furrow as he scrolls through it before lowering his hand and gently tossing it on the ground, a few steps away from your feet. The device remains face-up on the ground as a video plays.

A dash cam footage from the night of Sumin’s death. You can tell from the angle that the car was parked on the cliff right after the empty field behind where you stand, at an angle that is looking straight at the side wall of the factory, just a couple of meters before the left turn to the front of it. The video keeps running, grainy and slightly blurry due to the distance and the darkness of the night except for a faint hue of yellow light from this very street lamp. You know very well what the next footage will be.

As you imagined, the video plays on and a few seconds later, it shows you coming from the direction of the warehouse before marching away, out of the view.

“There were two cars parked on that cliff that night,” Seunghcheol points upwards, to the cliff behind you. “This is the dash cam footage of one of the cars. Care to explain, ___?” The fury in his eyes is unmistakable.

You breathe out a soft sigh. What does he want? He knows very well what this footage implies so why did he not just hand this over to the police? Standing here in front of him while he demands an explanation feels nothing short of torture to you.

“Go ahead,” He hisses, taking a step towards you. “Claim that it is not you. Tell me I am getting this wrong. Fucking say something!”

“You know very well, Cheol. What do you want me to say?” You finally find your voice which is as soft as a feather.

Furious, he marches towards you, grabbing you by the collars and it is truly a deja vu of that night. “Why did you do it?” He screams, shaking you, his pupils wide with bristling resentment. “Why did you kill her?” He hollers again.

His face is a mere inch or so away from you, so close that you can feel his warm breath puffing out in the cold night air, so close that you can feel the blizzard of emotions radiating off him.

He really cared for her. He might have loved her without even knowing.

Fuck, that thought burns like acid down your throat.

“She had everything I wanted.” You finally find yourself whispering. Seungcheol grows still upon hearing your words as you see the storm in his eyes die down. The entire world seems to quiten for a second as you only hear the two of you breathing. His brows remain furrowed as he regards you with confusion, his grip on your collar faltering. You breathe out, repeating. “Sumin had everything I ever wanted, Cheol.”

“And what was it?” He snaps.

You swallow a lump in your throat but never lose eye contact with him. “You.”

Like he has been electrocuted, Seungcheol lets go of you and takes an immediate step back. His pupils dilate as his mouth opens just slightly in bafflement. You find his reaction almost funny. Overdramatic as well.

Is it really that shocking?

“Stop playing fucking games, ___.’’ He scoffs after the shock has worn off.

“It is true.” You take a step towards him with a new surge of energy in your blood. “I have wanted you since forever…since I was 18. Since the day of your father’s party after you returned from abroad I have longed for you.”

With each word you speak, his jaw hardens and a look of disbelief and something akin to disgust graces his face.

“I have loved you for so long, Seungcheol and then Sumin appeared one day and took you away.” Your pitch loudens as your desperation grows.

He needs to understand you, he needs to see you.

You are not some cold-blooded monster. You are just someone madly in love with him.

“So you killed her!” He seethes.

“She was not right for you!” You cry, eyes blown out, teeth gritting. “She did not love you, Seungcheol! She was using you!”

He closes the gap between the two of you as he roughly grabs the side of your neck, tilting your head upwards. “Shut. Up.” He seethes, his eyes so dark, his gaze so fierce you almost feel like you have been burned down to a pile of ashes. “You are not only a murderer but also a fucking liar.”

A mirthless laughter escapes your lips as you take a step back from his grip and shake your head. You had expected this. You understand he will not believe you this instant but now that he knows what you have done, it will not take too long for him to find out what Sumin and her family was up to. He will believe your words then.

It is a shame you will most likely be behind bars by then.

“Stop laughing!” He shouts, frustrated. Raking a hand through his hair, he stares at the ground before looking back at you, his eyes shining in a look of desperation and betrayal. “I trusted you. You were like my family, ___. How could you do this?”

You cannot bear how disgusted he appears with you.

Why cannot he just shoot you like you shot Sumin?

“You are my family too, Cheol.” You blink back tears. “The feelings I have for you are beyond something anyone can ever comprehend and…it is fine. I prefer it that way. I would burn the world for you, Choi Seungcheol so please don’t look at me with so much hatred.”

“You—” Seungcheol shakes his head with a frustrated grunt. “Just tell me where the fucking gun is.”

There is a faint smile you cannot hold back. “I got rid of it long ago.” You pause. “But don’t worry, this dashcam footage will be enough along with my confession.”

He looks at you with disbelief.

You give him a sad smile.

“Don’t act noble, ___. I know what you are capable of.” He hisses. “I will not trust a word that comes out of your mouth.”

“I am not lying. I won’t run away, Cheol. I promise. Just don’t call the police to my office. I would rather be arrested at home.”

Seungcheol is perplexed with your attitude and after a long moment of silence, when you realize he has nothing more to say, you start walking backwards.

“Goodbye, Cheol. It was really nice knowing you.” With your vision blurry due to unshed tears, you flash him a smile before quickly turning around and heading for your car, not looking back.

You drive all the way home in silence before finally parking your car in the parking lot of your apartment. As the engine dies down, leaving you without its gentle hum, you sit in silence and let the reality of your life wash over you.

You have had a good life. You wonder what it will be like behind the bars. You will plead guilty no matter what your lawyer says and you have no intention of lying and claiming you feel remorse for your actions. A life sentence awaits you for sure, maybe with no parole.

Shaking your head at the absurdity of your future, you rest your hands over the steering wheel, putting your head on them and closing your eyes. Your engagement ring digs into your forehead and you look up to see the small diamond glinting softly. It suddenly feels foreign on your skin and the longer you look at it, the worse it appears. Prying it off your fingers you fist it in your palm, half tempted to break it.

“I hope we can have a good life.” You remember Seungcheol’s words when he slipped that ring on your finger.

And finally, the dam breaks. You clutch the little trinket to your chest as you curl your body into a small ball and weep with your head hanging low. Soon, you cannot stop stifling the noise as your sobs turn into violent cries and in a fit of rage, hopelessness and longing, you punch your dashboard hard enough for your knuckles to bleed.

At some point, the blood seeping from your knuckles dries but your tears don’t.

You do not go to your office the next day for obvious reasons.

Instead, you spend the day cleaning your apartment and setting everything in its place one last time while waiting for uniformed officers to knock on your door.

Hours tick by and it never happens, puzzling you.

When the remnants of colour start fading from the dusk sky, someone rings your doorbell. You open it to find Seungcheol’s driver.

“Mr Choi has asked you to come to his house.”

Baffled even further, you quickly change your clothes and follow him out. The man drives you to Seungcheol’s mansion and you hesitantly step outside of the car when you reach your destination all too quickly. The lady who is Seungcheol’s head of staff comes to greet you as she escorts you to his study, holding the door open for you to step in and then closing it softly behind you.

In the dimly lit room, Seungcheol sits at his desk with a glass of whiskey in his hand, his chair turned around so that he faces the window behind him. Tentatively, you walk closer to him and he slightly turns his head to look at you. His eyes are barren, devoid of any emotion, almost inhumane.

A breath catches in your throat but you do not break your eye contact.

“Why did you bring me here?” You whisper, for some reason too scared to speak out loud.

“To have a serious discussion about our futures.” His tone is flat as he swivels his chair to face you.

What is that supposed to mean?

Swallowing, you wait for him to elaborate.

“Does anyone else know what you did?” He asks.

His question throws you off slightly. “Just you. Though…in a way, my driver knows. I asked him to leave early with the empty car and told him to lie and say I was in the car if anyone asked.”

“So basically he knows.”

“Yes, but he is probably the only employee I trust. He has been extremely loyal to my grandfather and me.”

“This is a murder we are talking about.”

“If he wanted to rat me out, he would have done it by now. Besides, he did not witness it.” You frown, pausing. “Wait, I don't understand where this is going. Why are you asking me this?”

Seungcheol sighs, standing up. Pressing his hands flat on his desk, he looks directly into your eyes and leans closer. “Because I am going to cover it up.”

“What?” You had to have heard that wrong. There is no way—

“I am going to bury what you did.” He grunts, appearing disgusted with himself as he speaks the words. “I already got rid of the CCTV footage.”

Your jaw drops, as you subconsciously step back, gripping the back of the couch behind you. “I- I don’t understand…”

“I am not doing this for you.” He spits, scowling at you. “I am doing this for my family.”

You are still at a loss for words, trying to process everything coming out of his lips.

Seungcheol exhales a sigh of defeat, “I have thought about this long and hard. I cannot do this to my family, especially to my father. He was so excited about my marriage to Sumin and now he is ten times more excited to see us getting married. If he found out his ex daughter-in-law was murdered by you, his future daughter-in-law, someone he has always been fond of,” he shakes his head. “It would kill him. Plus, the company would suffer. The board wants to see me married and if my second engagement is ruined as well, I will not be running the company any time soon. My father would be devastated.”

You inhale a lungful of air. “So… you are saying you will still marry me.”

“That is the only way left is it not? Marrying a murderer.” He grits his teeth, his eyes shooting invisible arrows of fire at you.

“No.” Suddenly, your brain clears up. “No, it is not.” Your voice is determined. “This is not what I want!”

“Excuse me?” Seungcheol scoffs.

“I do not want to trap you in this marriage. You are marrying me against your will. I do not accept this. We will come up with an excuse. You can say I cheated on you or something.”

Seungcheol watches you in silence for a long moment before rounding his desk and coming close to you. Making you jerk in surprise, he grabs your arms and holds them tightly, his eyes flashing dangerously in the dimly lit room. “Listen to me very carefully, ____. You have ruined me enough to last a lifetime. Do not ruin my family and my company now. From now on, you will do as I say and play the part of the happiest bride-to-be. Is that fucking clear?’’

You stare at him in defiance.

“Is that clear?” His tone drops as his gaze darkens, giving you goosebumps. “You have done enough for me. No need to act noble and say that you don’t want to trap me when this was your plan all along.”

No, no. That is not true at all. You wanted him to love you. You wanted to be there when he needed help and you wanted him to come to you voluntarily. You were protecting him. He was never supposed to find out all this.

“Seungcheol, you are mistundertsanding me—”

“Are we clear?” He yells, shaking you by the arms.

“Yes.” You whisper.

“Good.” He releases you. “Get out of my sight.”

You blink back tears and swallow a lump in your throat, slowly stepping towards the door with unsteady feet. Just as your fingertips touch the knob, you come to a stop. “Seungcheol?”

You hear a sigh of annoyance. “What?”

You turn around and ask, “Is there anything that you have been hiding from me?”

He raises a brow. “What could you possibly mean by that?”

There is a slight shrug of your shoulders. “Nothing, I just… You know, something like the fact that you knew that me and my grandfather were in fact, related by blood and he adopted me not because I was the one who caught his eye among all the others at the orphanage but due to his guilt for killing my parents.”

With each word that leaves your lips, Seungcheol’s pupils dilate and, ironically, he looks more astounded now than when you confessed to killing Sumin.

For an achingly long moment, heavy silence hangs in the air and you never let your eyes stray from his, patiently waiting for what he has to say.

“How did you find out?” His tone is low.

“Sumin told me.”

You really did not think it was possible for him to look even more bewildered but he does. He abruptly marches towards you and leans forward, asking. “Sumin?”

“Yes,” you sigh, rolling your eyes at his shock.

“I don’t understand—”

“You know,” You cut him off. “I don’t remember my parents so I have never missed them and to some extent, I now understand why my grandfather did what he did. What I don’t understand is why he lied to me, why you all lied to me. And why I had to hear the truth from someone like Sumin. It doesn’t make sense, does it? You all were in the joke and no one once thought how I would feel if I found out.”

“You were not supposed to find out.” His tone is flat and the look he is giving you is enraging; like you have no right to be mad.

“And you were not supposed to find out that I killed your ex-fiance!” You scream.

Seungcheol exhales loudly, rubbing a hand over his face as he looks down at the ground. “Why did Sumin tell you this, ___?” His tone is sharp as if you are being investigated at a police station.

“Does it matter?”

“Of course it does!” He hisses, frustrated. “Why would she go out of her way to tell you that?”

“I found out some of her secrets and I threatened her with them.” You don’t let your eyes stray from his.

“What secrets?” His eyes darken.

You rub a frustrated hand over your forehead while resting the other on your hip. Not this again.

“It's better that you don’t know, Seungcheol.”

“Answer me, ___.” He inhales a sharp breath and grits his teeth, his patience is running thin.

So is yours.

From the pocket of your trousers, you fish out a recorder and toss it over to his table. “Since you want to know so bad, here you go. It has all the answers, the last conversation I had with her and her final moments.”

You see apprehension in his eyes as he watches the little black device sitting on his desk. “After listening to that, you might go back on your word.” You warn. Because the sound of you unlocking the safety of your gun is in there. Because the sound of Sumin’s lifeless body hitting the ground is in there.

“And if you decide to hand me over to the police after this,” You give a nonchalant shrug. “I completely understand. Just don’t destroy the record. There is only one copy and it is the best evidence you will have of this case.”

Seungcheol stands rooted to his spot, looking at you impassively as you close the door behind you.

Three days go by and the police do not come and you realize, once again Seungcheol has decided to brush what you did under the rug. It is a fixed feeling, mostly bitter if you are being honest with yourself. What lies ahead of you now is a bleak future where you and Seungcheol will live under one roof with stifling disgust. His friends and family will visit and you will have to pretend to be the happiest couple in front of them.

As you are returning home from work on Tuesday with all these thoughts bridling in your head, you receive a text from an unknown number.

Someone has texted you a location along with a message.

I have your man. If you want him to live, bring me 10 million dollars in this location within the next hour. Come alone or I will slice his head off.

For one moment you think— no, try to convince yourself that you are seeing things wrong and this is only a prank. However, you start to break into a cold sweat when you dial Seungcheol’s number with shaky hands and it goes unanswered. Petrified, you call his secretary next and he picks up on the fifth ring.

“Madam-”

“Where is Seungcheol? I cannot reach him.” You try to keep your voice as stable as possible yet a tremor slips through. Your gut prepares you for the worst when you hear a commotion in the background as his secretary takes a second too long to reply.

“Madam, I am really sorry. We were leaving work when two vans surrounded us on the highway and threw smoke bombs at us. They hit me in the head and took away Mr Choi after knocking him out. But don’t worry madam, the police have been informed—”

You hang up.

Fucking hell.

The first thing you do is dial your secretary, throwing her into a furor as you order her to arrange the money and have it ready in half an hour at your place.

When you reach home, you quickly discard your work clothes and put on a hoodie and sweatpants along with some good running shoes as a disguise. Your next task is to hurry down to your basement where you have stored your grandfather's collection of antic guns. You had it moved here after his death and thank god for that. Picking a long-barreled revolver, you check the chamber before tucking it in your waistband.

Upstairs, your secretary waits with a duffel bag in her hands, struggling to hold the weight. Her face is littered with unsaid questions as you snatch the bag from her hands and storm past her. The weight of the cash hi nders your mobility, making you slower.

“If you say a word about this to anyone else I will gut you. And if you keep your mouth shut and go home like nothing happened, I will triple your salary.” You hiss at Yuna who’s eyes widen hearing the reward.

Firing your Hennessey to life, you press the accelerator hard as you pull your car out of the basement and zoom down the street. The clock on the dashboard says you have exactly twenty-five minutes till your one hour is over and you whisper a silent prayer to whoever is up there for a traffic-free road.

As you near your destination, you realize the location that was sent to you is a small, old two-storeyed storehouse near the seaport, once used to store cargo. Located a little further from the main port, it is a dingy building with cracked walls and missing windows and a backdrop of thick, dense forest, appearing haunted in the darkness of the night.

With a deep inhale, you step out of your car and lock it. A slight shiver runs down your spine as you calculate your odds of rescuing Seungcheol safely. You don’t know who is waiting for you in there and if they even have him with them. Of course, you have a suspect in your mind and if they are alone, it should be easy to tackle them. Still, you make a risky decision.

You call the police.

“Hello, I have a tip about the kidnapping of Choi Seungcheol of the Choi Corporation. I am sending you my location. How long will it take you to get here?

“It will take about 12 minutes for the officers to reach the scene. Are you alone ma'am? Please do not go inside if you—”

You hang up the call and march towards the building carrying the duffel bag. With the reassurance that the police will be here soon, you step inside.

The ground floor is eerily quiet and almost shrouded in complete darkness.

Somewhere nearby, the wolves howl.

The utter lack of light and noise tells you that the first floor is empty so you follow the stairs up to the second floor, illuminated by tube lights hanging very low from the ceiling.

Your cautious steps lead you to a wide, poorly lit hallway on the second floor. However, as you step into the corridor, you see a faint glow of orange hue on your right.

This is it.

Feet moving automatically, your whole body tenses up as you grip the duffel with one hand and keep the other free, hovering over the back of your waist. Unlike the first floor, the construction of the second was left incomplete so at the end of the hallway there are no individual rooms but instead a big one.

And there is Seungcheol.

With his hands and legs tied to a chair, he sits with his head hanging low, his tired frame illuminated by the small fire lit in front of him.

Best of all, there is no one else in the room.

“Seungcheol!” You cry, running straight to him.

He is baffled, gaping at you as you rush over to him, scrambling to untie his hands and legs as fast as possible.

“___? I- I don’t understand…How did you—”

“Hush.” You whisper, untying the last knot to free his leg before standing up to take a look at his face. There is a wound on his head, half-dried blood soaking his hair as your stomach forms knots, worried.

“We need to get you to a hospital.” You whisper, throat dry as you reach behind him to undo his hands.

“What a sweet reunion it is, no?” A familiar voice echoes, halting your action.

You whip your head around and there he stands, the man you suspected.

Sumin’s father, Lee Ryunwoo. You should have taken care of him long ago.

The blood in your veins runs cold as you immediately step in front of Seungcheol to cover him. The man emerges from the shadows, waving a gun in his hand as he orders, “Try to play smart with me and I’ll blow your head off.”

“Why did you kidnap him?” You ask, watching his movements warily as you cover Seungcheol with your frame. “Do you think you can get out of this so easily?”

From behind you, Seungcheol’s quiet voice echoes. “He knows, ___.”

You freeze, immediately understanding what he is referring to.

What? How?

“You are awfully mouthy for a bitch who shot my daughter,” Ryunwoo smirks, stepping closer to you. He presses the barrel of the gun to your throat before pulling it away, flashing you a cruel smirk. You swallow the lump in your throat as your brain frantically thinks of the next move. Maybe calling the police was not the best idea.

“Imagine my surprise when I find that recorder.” You watch cautiously as he walks past you and kneels in front of the duffel back, his gun aimed at you. Using one hand, he opens the zipper, shuffling the cash around as he checks it. “Yes, I had someone break into his office after he started acting dodgy. I knew something was going on.” He pauses to look at Seungcheol. “Everything was going so wonderfully. You were so confident about a lead and then you suddenly claim it was nothing? You should have been more careful, son.” He chuckles with a shake of his head.

You assess the situation, carefully watching his body language. Despite the gun in his hand pointing at you, his eyes are cast downwards, focused on the money.

You realize this might be your only chance.

Ever so carefully, you pull your revolver from your waistband, pointing it just slightly over his arm and pull the trigger.

Your sudden action has both the men confused as the bullet flies a mere half an inch above Ryunwoo’s hand, making him drop his gun and fall on his ass.

“___! Stop!’’ Seungcheol yells from behind you, struggling to free himself from the chair while you step towards Ryunwoo, pointing the gun at his head.

“Where is the recorder?” You ask.

He has the balls to chuckle. “This little thing?” From the breast pocket of his jacket, he slowly pulls out the little black device.

“Hand it over.” You order, stepping closer.

His cackle echoes through the barren room, overpowering Seungcheol’s yells of protest.

“Come and take it.” It is a challenge.

You grit your teeth, popping a vein in your neck. “I could just shoot you right now.”

“Like you shot Sumin?” The smirk does not wipe off his face.

“___, for fucks sake! Don’t!” Seungcheol yells.

You would have gladly taken the shot had the police not already been on their way. Against your will, you decide to play his game. Pointing your gun with one hand, you extend the other, holding your palm open. “Give it. Now.”

The tip of your fingers brush against the device when the police siren is heard. Ryunwoo immediately pulls the device back as he bellows, “You called the cops, you bitch!”

Using his momentary distraction to your advantage, you lunge at him, knocking him down hard on his head and snatching the recorder from his hand.

The next moment someone grabs your arm to pull you off of him and you look up to see Seungcheol. “Cheol! You—”

“The police will be here any second. They will investigate you if you hurt him.” He warns, pulling you towards him. On the floor, Ryunwoo groans, cupping his head and spewing curses at you. Outside, the sirens grow louder as you hear the commotion and the footsteps of the officers entering the building.

“Come,” Seungcheol attempts to guide you away by your shoulders when suddenly, you are dragged down. Ryunwoo’s abrupt pull on your leg makes you fall face down on the ground as the gun slips through your fingers upon impact. Seungcheol tries and fails to grab onto you in time as you are pulled backward by a rough grip. His entire body comes to a complete halt with his eyes widening in fear when he looks behind you, slowly raising his arms in surrender.

At the entrance of the room, the officers crowd, yelling at Ryunwoo to drop his weapon.

That is when you actually feel the cold barrel of his gun pressed to your temple.

Oh fuck.

Exhaling a shaky breath, you turn your head ever so slightly to look at him.

“I am going to blow your brains out and then go to jail, you cunt. How dare you trick me?” he sneers, venom dripping from his tone. His eyes are akin to a madman’s as the warnings of the officers fall deaf to his ears.

He really is going to shoot.

Your eyes wander over to Seungcheol one last time before they fall closed the moment a gun goes off.

There is a ringing in your ears and you realise the right side of your face feels wet.

A couple of seconds pass by before you open your eyes to find Ryunwoo lying on the ground behind you with a bullet hole in his head. The police rush in as Seungcheol tugs you towards him, wrapping his arms around you as you stare at the dead body.

You feel like you are stuck in a trance as everything around you moves in slow motion, your eyesight getting slightly blurry as your heart thumps loudly in your chest. You do not know whether it is relief or trauma but your legs suddenly feel like jelly.

Seungcheol has to call your name multiple times to make you look at him. “___? Are you okay? Did you get hurt?”

You shake your head, blinking a few times to focus your vision. You are still lost in your own head, thinking about how close you were to getting exposed and how you managed to save yourself by a hairsbreadth. “The recorder?’’ You question quietly.

“Don’t worry, I have it.” He wraps his arms around you tighter.

A faint smile of relief comes to your face and you dare to rest your face on Seungcheol’s chest. To your utter relief, he does not oppose you but gently cradles your head.

“Thank you.” You hear him say. Surprised, you look up at his face to be greeted by a shocking sight. There is a beautiful smile on his lips that makes his eyes shine.

“For what?” You croak, suddenly emotional.

“For saving me.”

10 days later

Seungcheol’s best friend Jihoon is getting engaged today.

Clad in a pastel pink blouse and a matching skirt, you silently sit next to your fiance in the car, your eyes trained outside the window. Seungcheol, like most times, does not attempt to break the delicate silence.

It is frustrating, especially because this is how he has been for the past ten days. Silent. As if his ex-father-in-law did not hold a gun to your head and then got killed by the police. As if you did not murder his ex-fiance and the proof of it is in his hands.

The morning after that fateful night, both of you were asked at the police station for your statements. It was a basic procedure before they started uncovering the skeletons in Ryunwoo’s closet; the murders he committed right after he became the CEO of Lee Media to hide his corruption and the money he embezzled. His bankruptcy also came to light along with the millions of dollars of debt he was in and the shady works he did to earn money for it.

Soon after that, the news of Sumin cheating on Seungcheol also came out. Someone anonymously leaked pictures of her and the model she was dating and the public was ruthless with their comments even though Sumin was dead.

After all the news broke, they were the talk of the town. A group of reporters even tried to swarm you at every chance, hoping to get some details from you.

When you met Seungcheol later in the week, he did not bring up the issues at all and instead went about his day as normal, bewildering you. One might think that the news never reached him. He never addressed them and you were too anxious to bring them up, afraid to lose the minimum attention you were getting from him.

Still, your worries have not vanished into thin air. It has been a weird few days and the more time passes, you cannot help but think things will go awry any second and you will fall face down into a nightmare all over again.

The car comes to a halt in front of Jihoon’s house and a valet holds open your door, helping you step out. Seungcheol rounds the car to come next to you. “Come on,” he says, buttoning his suit and stepping forward. Your hands reach for him mindlessly as you stop him by grabbing his hand.

He turns back, a brow raised in confusion.

“Seungcheol.” You state, looking him in the eye.

“What?”

You have a lot to say; so much that the thoughts tangle into intricate knots in your head and provide your lips with nothing. He waits for you to speak and you finally whisper, “Do you still have the recorder?”

The look in his eyes changes as he steps closer to you, holding eye contact. “Why? Do you think I handed it over to the police?” He sounds amused.

“I—” You pause, unsure what to say. It is undeniable that a small part of you has been worrying about that.

A short laughter of amusement comes from his lips before he becomes serious. “I burned it, ___.”

Your eyes widen in astonishment. Parting your lips, you let out a breath of surprise.

“I…I don’t know what to say,” You whisper. “I was scared. You have been so quiet the last few days and—”

“I am trying to put what happened behind me.’’ He states, something foreign flashing in his eyes.

You remain silent, watching his face intently, hoping he can see the gratefulness in your eyes. His gaze is soft, brimming with an emotion you can’t put a name to but constricts your throat and makes your heart soar with hope. “Seungcheol, I—” You are cut off as he presses his lips to yours in a bruising kiss that makes your toes curl. You lose your balance, your body falling against his as you melt in his arms.

A heated look of mischief and desire swims in his eyes when he pulls back to look at you.

“Call me Cheol,” he smirks, gripping your hand tightly by weaving his fingers with yours. With long steps he heads for the entrance, tugging you with him who is now sporting a love-struck grin.

When a villainess loves, she makes sure to get the guy no matter what it takes.

Want more of them? Click here for a bonus scene of 2k words that is only available on my Patreon! It is not only smutty but there is also a part from Seungcheol's pov!

A/N: okay, so that was that. how was it? do lmk your feedback. also, if you have any questions about the characters or anything you are curious about, send me an ask, I'll fill in the blanks for you. what did you think about the ending? i purposefully left it a bit open because i don't see them being all head over heels for e/o (i mean oc is a simp ofc but not cheol). in fact, i imagine a very different ending for them in the long run, lol. and who knows, maybe i will write a part 2 someday, no promises tho. and if you noticed (im sure you did) this one does not have almost any smut. the reason for that was one, i find it extremely hard to write and two, i might write a small smutty epilogue in my patreon depending on how well this fic is received. we'll see. anyways, i'll stop the rant now. stay healthy and happy!

#seventeen smut #scoups smut #seungcheol x reader #scoups imagines #seungcheol smut #seungcheol scenarios #seventeen scenarios #seventeen fluff #seventeen imagines #svt imagines #seventeen angst #svt smut #choi seungcheol #seventeen seungcheol #seungcheol fluff

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ranaibrahim · 13 days

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Hi everyone, this is my story in a few words!

Fortunately, I still remember my name: Rana. I can also remember that I’m a graduate of the Faculty of English-Frensh literature then I completed my master’s studies in education.

Being from northern Gaza means that I have lived through war, aggression, siege, massacre, pain, loss, torment, and also “death”, which life here forces you to look at with your own eyes.

As October approached, the catastrophic chapters of this story dramatically unfolded. It fills my heart with darkness every moment. I open my phone gallery and scrolling up to that promising life where I no longer belong.

Pursuing my Phd education abroad with a good scholarship was always my goal which I believed would be achieved but due to the complete destruction of the city and continuing displacment from place to another, I couldn’t register in any program and I lost the chance this year.

I was working and training in a company inside “Al Jammal tower”, which is one of the largest towers housing software and languages companies in Gaza, where we were mixing commitment and fun, dreaming of a better future. But once our company became a target and was completely destroyed, my business was shattered as well as my dreams, leaving me heartless and soulless.

We are not numbers. Remember, despite the difficulties I face in Gaza and the challenges I face with courage, I always realise that my story is a small part of the stories of 2.2 million people who face difficulties and struggle to survival in harsh conditions.

🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉

But there is a glimmer of hope amidst this darkness. With your support and generous donations, I can rebuild my life from the ashes and hit my goal. Every donation, no matter the size, will have a significant impact.

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for your unwavering support in this urgent matter.

@palestinegenocide @queerstudiesnatural @90-ghost @el-shab-hussein @northgazaupdates

@apollos-olives @riding-with-the-wild-hunt @vakarians-babe @90-ghost @fairuzfan

@sar-soor @fallahifag @humanvoicebox @plomegranate @queerstudiesnatural

@commissions4aid-international @international-network @nabulsi @mushroomjar

@palestine @communistchilchuck @northgazaupdates2 @ghost-and-a-half @kyra45

@the-bastard-king @feluka @sayruq @chososhairbuns @commissions4aid-international

@soon-palestine @palestinegenocide @kyra45-helping-others

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oddinary4bts · 3 months

Text

Chasing Cars | ch 10 (jjk)

☆summary: when your brother goes to study on a semester abroad, your life collides with his best friend Jeon Jungkook, who's coincidentally your roommate. Will you survive the collision, or will you crumble into dust?

☆pairings: brother's best friend!Jungkook x younger sister!female reader, Yoongi x Hoseok

☆rating: 18+ (minors DNI, this chapter contains mature content)

☆genre: forbidden love?au, college!au, slice of life!au, smut, angst (as usual a lot of it), fluff

☆warnings: side character breakup, jungkook is still a little jealous lmao, alcohol, curses, they both are anxious to lose each other tbh, explicit content: hickey, breast play, oral sex (male receiving), jerking off, fingering, protected sex

☆word count: 10.1k

☆a/n: fun fact, this is the chapter that made me choose the title for this fic!! and this is also where the angst starts :') I hope you still enjoy reading <3 and thank you to @moonleeai for beta-ing, you're the best <3

☆series masterpost

☆add yourself to the taglist here!

☆☆☆☆☆

If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Chasing Cars, Snow Patrol

☆☆☆☆☆

Monday, March 25th

You hate college. More specifically, you hate having to turn in multiple lab reports every week. There’s just something about building a lab report that irks you.

You don’t know how researchers do it. You think you’d go insane if you had to write report after report after report but…

You’re already going insane after all.

You sigh, rubbing a hand on your forehead as you look at the tables you’ve been trying to make for half an hour. Yoongi, sitting across from you, raises his head from his laptop, an eyebrow cocked. You offer him a tight-lipped smile, going back to your report as he doesn’t pry, focusing back on his own work.

As much as he spoke to you at the party last week, Yoongi has been a lot more silent today. You reckon you might know why - Hoseok said in the group chat that he’d come to study too, and he’s yet to show up. It’s evening now, and you have a feeling he’s just not going to come.

You don’t know if you can entirely blame him - it’s Spring Break after all, and most people are trying to forget about college for the week.

But you can’t, because you’ve got that lab report to work on and a final to study for.

You blink a few times, trying to bring your laptop back in focus, and then you go back to work. You spend another thirty minutes fixing the tables, not caring that the titles clearly could be better. Nabi said she’d go over everything you’ve done, and you know she’s much better with titles anyway.

You’re lucky she’s your lab partner.

“Are you hungry?” Yoongi asks all of a sudden, and you startle, looking up at him.

Right in time, your stomach grumbles, and you let out a small laugh. “Yeah, a little.”

“Want to order burritos?” Yoongi suggests.

You nod enthusiastically, and he chuckles, picking up his phone. The smile that was on his lips dies almost immediately, and he deeply sighs. You furrow your brows questioningly, glancing outside of your study rooms.

Jungkook isn’t working today, yet you find yourself looking for him all the same.

“What’s wrong?” you ask Yoongi, pushing Jungkook away from your thoughts.

Even though every thought of him makes you warm inside, giddy like a teenager with a crush.

“Hobi,” Yoongi simply replies.

You purse your lips, picking up your water bottle to take a long sip as you search for something to say. You settle on, “You guys talked after the party?”

Yoongi nods. “Yeah.” He pauses, sighing deeply again before handing you his phone. “Just choose which burrito you want.”

You grab his phone, quickly choosing what you want to eat as he remains silent, typing away on his laptop. You’re aware he’s avoiding the question, but you have a feeling he needs to talk. It’s in the way he worries at some dry skin on his bottom lip, an anxious tell you recognize all too well for having it too.

“How did the conversation go?” you ask as he finishes up the order, putting his phone back down on the table.

“It went okay,” he admits, yet he looks defeated. You understand why when he adds, “He told me he doesn’t want to be with me anymore.”

You widen your gaze. “Oh.”

“Yeah.” Yoongi laughs bitterly, slightly shaking his head. “I feel blindsided. We were all happy before the party and now…” He shrugs vaguely, letting out a choked sound that almost passes as a chuckle. “It just came out of nowhere.”

“I’m really sorry…”

He shrugs again. “What can you do? I really just jumped in too fast without realizing that he was reluctant. I was stupid.”

“I don’t think you were stupid,” you say, trying to sound reassuring. “You’ve had feelings for him for a long time, and it felt like you were finally getting something in return. Anyone would have been blindsided.”

“I should have known when he insisted we take it slow and not share a room though,” Yoongi insists. “And though the sex was great there was a lot of stuff he was uncomfortable with. Not that I ever did anything without him wanting to do it but…” He wets his lips, glances your way before setting his gaze on his keyboard again. “I was his first guy.”

“Yeah, he told me,” you admit.

Pink dusts Yoongi’s cheeks, and you can tell he’s embarrassed by the turn of the conversation. So this time you don’t pry, letting him figure out what he wants to say next.

“I think he realized that he’s not into guys all that much,” Yoongi eventually says. “Like… he wanted to try it out and turns out it’s not as nice as he thought it’d be kinda thing, you know?”

You nod. “It sucks that it had to be with you though. You didn’t deserve that.”

Another shrug, like it’s all Yoongi knows to do right now. “Yeah, I guess.” He chuckles, a sad sound that makes you want to get up and hug him, though you know Yoongi’s not big on physical touch. “I don’t know if I should be mad or sad,” he admits a few seconds later.

“You’re allowed to be both.” He cocks an eyebrow as if not convinced. “I’m serious,” you insist. “You like him. Obviously, it’s going to hurt if he decides he doesn’t want to be with a guy. And obviously, you’re allowed to be mad too, because to you it can feel like he was leading you on.”

Yoongi meets your gaze. “Have you ever thought about becoming a therapist?”

His statement surprises you, and you laugh, scrunching up your nose. “No?”

“I think you’d be good,” Yoongi says. He sighs deeply again, picking up his phone. “Food’s on its way.”

You’re technically not allowed to eat at the library, so you end up eating on the steps outside when the food arrives, the fresh evening air welcoming after being stuck in a small, stuffy room for a couple of hours. Yoongi keeps pouring his heart out to you all along, as if he’d been holding everything in for too long, and the dam finally burst.

You’re happy to be there for him. Even though most of it is the same thing as at the party last week, you’re happy he’s comfortable enough to confide in you, and you try to cheer him up.

“If you want,” you say after a time. “I could try to speak to Hobi. See what he really thinks about this all.”

Yoongi holds your gaze for a few seconds before looking away, his eyes shifting to the cloudy sky. “Nah, I don’t think it’s a good idea,” he says. “I’ll just have to move on.”

You don’t know what to say to that, so you just nod. “Your choice. I’ll be here for you.”

He smiles, sighing. “I know. Thank you.”

On that note you return to your study room and to the lab report awaiting you. Yoongi busies himself with his composition as you work, and you finally finish taking care of the text for the results about half an hour later. Nabi said she’d do the discussion, so you send her the link, asking her to tell you if she wants you to fix anything, and then you close your laptop, folding your arms on top of it.

“Done?” Yoongi says, pushing his headset down so that it rests around his neck.

You nod, dropping your face on your arms. “And I’m dead.”

“When do finals start for you?” he asks.

“Next Tuesday,” you admit.

“Isn’t that early?” Yoongi asks, gaze widened in surprise.

It might be. You only have one then though, and you still have two weeks of classes in your other courses before the rest of your finals. You’ll still take it - it means one less final during the true final week.

You tell so to Yoongi, who admits he doesn’t have finals, instead having projects in three classes. It leads to a conversation where you compare biology to his music major, and another fifteen minutes go by in comfortable silence when the conversation dies of its own volition, as you scroll on your phone and Yoongi keeps on working on his music composition.

You startle when someone knocks on the door of the study room. You glance that way, eyes widening when you notice Jungkook on the other side. Yoongi lets out a small laugh at your expense, and you get up, opening the door for Jungkook.

“What are you doing here?” you ask as he walks in, two coffees in hands.

“Thought you might need this,” he says, offering you one.

You take it with an eyebrow cocked quizzically, and then you watch him as he drops in one of the empty chairs at the table. He’s got a backpack with him, and he pulls out a laptop and a notebook from it while you and Yoongi are just stunned silent.

“What are you doing?” you ask again as you sit back in your chair.

“Figured I’d come study here with you guys,” he explains simply.

You glance at Yoongi, who shrugs.

“Oh?” you let out, settling your gaze back on Jungkook.

“Unless you guys don’t want me to?”

Yoongi saves you by replying, “No, you’re all good man. I was leaving anyway.”

He clearly wasn’t, as you’re the one who finished writing your report and he was still in the middle of his composition, yet he still gets up, closing his laptop and putting it in his backpack.

“Text me if there’s anything,” you tell him as he’s sliding one of the straps of his backpack on his shoulder.

His Adam's apple bobs as he swallows, and he nods curtly. “Will do. Thanks for everything.”

You offer him a small smile, and then he’s walking out, not once looking back.

“Did you really have to come here?” you ask Jungkook, and it sounds far more accusing than you meant it to be.

“What?” he lets out. “Just wanted to see what the hype is all about when it comes to the library.”

You offer him a no-bullshit look. “Were you jealous because I was studying alone with Yoongi?”

Jungkook frowns, a crease appearing between his eyebrows. His lips jut out in the hint of a pout, and something melts inside of you, like it always does when it comes to him.

“He’s the one that left the second I got here,” Jungkook points out.

“Because he’s going through a hard time, dumbass,” you say, punching Jungkook in the shoulder.

He rubs at the spot, his pout intensifying, if that’s possible. “He still could have stayed, I wouldn’t have minded.”

Jungkook isn’t wrong, and though you really want to be there for Yoongi, you know he’s the kind of person that needs space a lot. Or at least that’s the impression he’s given you in general, and you really hope he didn’t leave because Jungkook showed up.

“I was done though,” you admit, patting your closed laptop. “I was thinking about heading home.”

Jungkook flicks your nose, taking you by surprise, and you sit back in your chair as you shriek. It earns you one of his bunny grins, and you truly are melting like snow in the sun. “Well then you’re going to have to stay with me for a little longer, mmh?”

You tilt your head to the side, though you can’t help the smile that tickles the corners of your lips. “And do what?”

“Study?” he sarcastically lets out. “Do whatever it is that you bio majors do.”

You end up doing so, rereading your notes for your first final. It’s boring, and you don’t think it’s really productive when Jeon Jungkook is sitting next to you, stealing quick glances in your direction.

You catch him for what feels like the tenth time, and you roll your eyes. “Stop looking at me.”

“Why?”

“Because,” you offer as an explanation. “We should go home.”

He narrows his gaze at you. “Why?”

“People could see us here.” And go and tell Taehyung about it.

“I’ll handle Tae if he gets upset, don’t worry,” Jungkook tries to reassure you, but it does the opposite.

Indeed, a drop of lead forms in your stomach because, what if Taehyung learns?

You don’t want him to know. It’d complicate everything, ruin everything.

“Besides,” Jungkook adds, “I’ll have to handle him in April anyway.”

You frown, a confused crease streaking across your brow. “Why?”

Jungkook meets your gaze. “I’m going to Paris with Jimin to see your brother at the end of the semester.”

Your heart starts racing in your chest, anxiety flooding your blood. “Oh?”

Jungkook toys with his piercings, scanning your features carefully. “Yeah. It’s been planned for a while.”

“You didn’t tell me.” You’re aware you once again sound accusing, but you can’t help it.

Not when you see the expiration date of your relationship with Jungkook flashing in your mind.

“Sorry,” he apologizes. “I just didn’t think to tell you? I thought I mentioned it when we Facetimed Tae the other day.”

You can’t blame him for not explicitly telling you - the trip has likely been planned for a while, and it’s not like you speak about your brother a lot. Though you mention him once in a while, you’ve both been good at avoiding talking about him. Now that he’s mentioned the Facetime call though, you do recall, and it’s like a hand is squeezing around your heart some more.

“No worries,” you say, and you offer him what you hope is a reassuring smile. “When do you leave?”

“April 29th, I think? I’ll check.”

You nod, and you look away from Jungkook to stare at your laptop instead, though your gaze loses its focus as your brother invades your thoughts. You think about what he’d say - you know he’ll be furious, and he’ll likely kick Jungkook out of your apartment.

Jungkook will never be able to handle Taehyung. Not when he’s being an overbearing asshole like only he knows to do.

“Peach,” Jungkook says in a small voice that almost sounds whiny. “Why do you look so upset?”

“You can’t handle Tae,” you say. You worry at your bottom lip and then take a deep breath. “It’s really better if he doesn’t know.”

Jungkook remains silent for a few seconds, though he nods his head. “Okay.” He nods again, offering you a tight-lipped smile. “Do you want to head home then?”

“Yeah,” you answer without a beat of silence. “Yeah, I think we should go home.”

Jungkook’s gaze drops to his laptop, and you feel bad. You truly do - he looks defeated, much like Yoongi looked like earlier.

“Can we watch something when we get home though?” you quickly ask.

You can’t help it. You can’t stand the sight of Jungkook upset - it’s just wrong to you.

He immediately brightens, a small curving his lips upwards. “Yeah?”

You nod. “Yeah, definitely. Should get some cuddles in too.”

His smile widens, and he meets your gaze, the usual mischievous twinkle back in the depths of his eyes. “Sounds like a plan.”

And it really is. You think, you don’t need more with Jungkook. You don’t need the relationship to change, don’t need anyone to know. Because it’s simple right now, and there’s beauty in its simplicity.

Wednesday, March 27th

“Don’t!” you shriek, but Jungkook ignores you, stealing the TV remote from your hands.

“We’re not watching your reality TV show,” he says as he plops down on the couch into a lying position.

You glare at him, frowning as you fold your arms on your chest. “You like it.”

“Sometimes.” He flashes you a bunny grin that makes you gulp around a sudden lump in your throat. “But right now, I’m in the mood for a movie.”

You look up to the ceiling, searching for salvation yet finding none. “What movie?”

“Just come here,” he says, opening his arms for you.

You can’t resist. His gravity is too strong, and he pulls you in, like he’s the sun and you’re the comet.

Though you might come from the Kuiper Belt, you know you’re bound to crash into him anyway.

Once you’re nestled in his arms, Jungkook resumes his scrolling on Netflix.

“What about this?” he asks.

“Extraction?” you say as you eye the movie he stops on. “I’m not in the mood for action.”

“Then a romantic comedy it is.”

You chuckle against him, pecking the mole on his neck. He chooses the movie Always Be My Maybe, and then tightens his grip around you.

“I like that movie,” you say.

“You’ve seen it already?”

You reach for his hand before he’s able to change it. “Yeah, but I don’t mind,” you reassure him.

He nods, and that’s how you end up watching the movie, slowly dozing off on his chest. You’re in and out of sleep, watching the bright screen whenever you wake up, and when the credits roll in, Jungkook yawns over you.

“Were you sleeping?” you ask, faking offence.

“You were,” Jungkook points out, flicking your nose as you raise your head to look at him.

You move your face away, resting your head on the couch. “Barely.”

Jungkook cocks an eyebrow, and then you both burst out laughing.

You like this. You like the intimacy of being with Jungkook in your own home, like that in between these walls you get to call him yours. It’s treacherous, but oh so inebriating, like he’s summer wine you’ve become addicted to.

Instead of watching another movie, Jungkook goes to his room to retrieve his speaker, and he puts a random playlist on while you fetch a rosé bottle from the fridge, where you’ve left it before watching the movie. You’d decided to spend the evening in despite both your friends and his friends asking to hang out, and so you’d gotten a bottle earlier today.

That, and the board game Ticket to Ride, your favourite board game.

“That’s not how it works,” you complain a while later, when you’re one glass in and Jungkook grabs a locomotive and wagon card from the five on the side.

“What?” he lets out.

“If you take a locomotive you can only take one card,” you remind him.

It’s his first time playing, and though the game is fairly simple, you’ve noticed Jungkook has a tendency to try and cheat his way to the win. You’re tempted to let him keep the two cards when he offers you puppy eyes, yet you stand your ground, holding your hand out.

“Give me the wagon back.”

“Take it from me,” he teases, lips stretching in a smirk.

“Oh, you want to play this way?” you reply in the same teasing tone, and Jungkook toys on his piercings.

“Maybe?”

You get up from where you’ve been sitting on the floor, walking to the other side of the coffee table. Jungkook watches you, an apprehensive yet excited look in his eyes, and he laughs the second you drop behind him, hands aiming for his sides.

He leans against you, his large frame almost enough to make you crumple to the floor, and you wrap your arms around him, holding him close.

“Give me the wagon,” you repeat.

“Or what?”

“Or I’m not playing the game anymore.”

He looks over his shoulder at you, a pout on his pink lips. “Okay then, take your wagon back.”

He gives it to you, and you smile victoriously before pecking his cheek. “Thank you.”

You walk back to your side of the table, though you stop halfway, eyes brightening.

“I love this song!”

Jungkook leans back on his hands, tilting his head to the side as Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol starts playing.

It was your favourite song growing up. You used to listen to a different version of it you’d heard on Grey’s Anatomy, and you’d listen to it whenever you felt sad. Whenever you needed to feel like you weren’t alone in the universe, like someone was waiting for you, somewhere.

And as you look down at Jungkook while the lyrics start, you know someone was waiting all along.

“Sing it for me,” Jungkook says, smiling softly.

You can’t help the blush that creeps on your cheeks. “I don’t know how to sing. But you do!”

He chuckles, yet immediately starts singing as you offer him a hand to pull him up to his feet. He obliges, and he rests his large hands on your waist as you wrap your arms around his neck, holding him close. He sways you to the music as he softly sings, cheeks dusted in pink, and you pull him even closer, resting your head on his chest.

Simple intimacy. That is what you and Jeon Jungkook are made of, and you think, if he’d ask you to lay here, in this moment, you’d lie with him until eternity took you in its hold. Until you’d be nothing more than dust between the stars - remembrance of what was once great.

But April is looming closer, a giant towering over the both of you, one step away from crushing you under its boot.

“You know,” Jungkook says while the song continues in the background.

“Mmh?” you let out, looking up to meet his gaze.

His eyes are heavy with emotions, and you swim in them, bathe in them. You feel complete, cherished, and you hope he knows you feel the same way.

You hope he knows you’ve been falling in love with him despite the odds.

“I’ve never been like this with anyone before,” he admits, his voice gentle. “I’ve had situationships, I guess, but nothing like us.”

You smile softly, your heart racing in your chest. “Me neither. You’re the first.”

It’s true. Though you’ve sort of dated Sam Hwang for a few weeks during the summer, it was nothing like it is with Jungkook.

Sam Hwang never looked at you the way that Jungkook looks at you.

Jungkook leans forward, resting his forehead against yours as he keeps on swaying you both to the music, the song nearing its last chorus. Your eyes flutter shut from the proximity, and your breaths mingle as you fall silent for a few seconds.

“I love having firsts with you,” he whispers.

You almost reply that you love him. The moment calls for it - the atmosphere is that of romance, the music is close to your soul, and he… He’s the blood in your veins and the oxygen in your lungs. Yet you can’t say it - you’ve never told anyone you loved them before. And you’re not even sure you truly love him. Yes, you have feelings, but everything is overshadowed by the knowledge that you’re bound to end.

You don’t want to tell him you love him and make it too real only to have him slip from your fingers the second Taehyung learns.

“Me too,” you instead reply. “I love spending time with you.”

It’s as close to the truth as you’ll get, and he allows it, pressing a soft kiss on your lips. It’s slow, patient, like the whole universe will pause for you two. He pulls away when the song ends, bending to grab his phone on the table.

He restarts the song, and the second his phone is back on the table again, you pull him back in, tiptoeing to kiss him again. He wraps his arm around your waist, holding you tight against him, and you sigh at the pillowy softness of his mouth, at the way his piercings feel just right pressing indents in your lip. His free hand cups your cheek, holding you in place as he deepens the kiss, tilting his head to the side.

His tongue swipes at your bottom lip, almost hesitantly, but you open up for him immediately, tasting the rosé in his mouth as he kisses you deeply, languidly. The kiss never accelerates, yet it’s infinitely passionate.

Much like that first kiss you’d exchange, during the power outage on Valentine’s Day.

You think you knew then - he’d kissed you so softly, like you were fragile, just a flower petal a second from being blown away. Even then, he’d cared for you, and it’d scared you.

But there’s nothing scary about this. There’s nothing scary about the way he gently hikes your shirt up to slide his hand underneath it, his fingers tracing idle patterns on your back, leaving goosebumps in their wake. There’s nothing scary about the way he sighs when you run your hands through his hair, gently tugging at the soft strands. There’s nothing scary about the way he backs you towards the couch, spinning around at the last second so that he can sit down.

There’s nothing scary about him pulling you in, always, so that you straddle his lap, connecting your mouths again a second later. No, it’s only natural. He’s the wind and you the leaves. He’s the sun that shines on you, his moon.

You were always meant to collide after all, and though the aftermath might be terrifying, all you can do right now is enjoy it while it lasts.

Jungkook tentatively grinds up, his arousal evident as he presses against your clothed self. You let out a breathy sound that makes him push his tongue in your mouth, and you suck on it, earning a grunt from him as his hands drop to your hips to drag you on him again. You grab at the hem of his shirt, disconnecting your mouths just long enough to pull the fabric off him, and then you’re kissing him again, crashing your lips on his hard enough that you think you taste blood, though you don’t care.

You just want him. Need him, so viscerally you think you’ll combust.

“Peach,” Jungkook lets out as you move to his neck.

Unable to resist, you suck a hickey on him, a bright purple mark on the spot where his shoulder connects with his neck. He groans, leaning his head back against the couch to give you better access as you lick at the spot, soothing the sting.

When you straighten, Jungkook meets your gaze, his chest quickly going up and down. You’re just as out of breath as him, and when he reaches for the hem of your shirt, you let him take it off you, leaving you in only your black lace bralette. He looks at your breasts, cupping them in his large hands as he sighs appreciatively.

“Every time it’s like you get more beautiful,” he murmurs, and he looks up at you then, his eyes crinkled at the corners in what you can only call adoration.

“Kook…”

His hands return to your waist, and he wets his lips, playing with his piercings. You grind against him, and his eyes immediately flutter shut.

“You think we can fuck out here?” you tease, rolling your hips.

“On the couch that your brother bought,” he replies, and there’s something so sinful about the thought that you know you’ll do it.

It’s not like Taehyung is around and will know.

So you bend forward, capturing Jungkook’s mouth in another languid kiss while you unbutton his pants. When the button comes undone, you straighten, standing between his legs so that you can pull the jeans down his legs. You leave the boxers on, eyeing his length as you kneel, hands resting on his thighs.

“Can I suck your dick?” you ask.

He chuckles. “Yes. But please be quick, I want to be buried inside of you.”

You narrow your gaze at him, but let out a laugh despite yourself.

You focus on his dick again then, on the wet spot at the top where his purple underwear has turned darker. You bend forward, littering small kisses along his shaft, and you tentatively lick at the wet spot, the taste of his precum filling your mouth. And though you’d planned to tease him, to be the brat you know he likes, you give in right away, pulling his boxers down just enough so that you can lick at his slit.

He lets out a breathy sound that has you bite your lip as you look up at him through your lashes. He’s got his head thrown back, eyes closed, and from this angle, all you can see is his sharp jaw.

You pull his boxers down more, and he helps you by raising his ass for a few seconds. His dick springs free, already rock hard, and you immediately grab the base to hold it up as you finish taking off his boxers, letting them tangle around his ankles. You’re quick to lick a long stripe from between his balls up to the tip of his cock, and then you take him in your mouth, hollowing your cheeks around him.

He bucks his hips, fucking up into your mouth, and you moan when he hits the back, your eyes immediately watering.

He lets you lead after that, hands lost in your hair as you bob your head up and down, working him closer to his high. You love the feel of him in your mouth, love the way he grunts and praises you under his breath, and you think you’d be able to come from just hearing him, pleasuring him.

It doesn’t get to that though. When Jungkook truly nears his high, he pulls you away from his dick, and you meet his gaze to see his pupils are blown wide, filled with so much lust all you can do is obey when he says, “Go get a condom in my room, mmh?”

You nod, and you get up to walk towards his room, feeling his gaze burning on you as you pass the threshold and head to the night table. You pull a condom out, and you walk back to the living room to find Jungkook jerking himself off, his grip on his dick tight enough you know it has to hurt a little.

“Put it on for me,” he says, and he stops jerking off, holding his dick up for you.

You sit next to him, pulling the condom out of the tinfoil package, and then you roll it on his dick. He hisses as you do so, but the second it’s on he pushes you back until you’re lying on the couch and he’s hovering over you.

His hair falls in his eyes, and you quickly push the strands back. He leans in, pressing his lips on yours for a kiss far softer than what you expected, and you smile against him.

He grins when he pulls away, eyes shining with lust and adoration again, and then he’s taking off your pants, taking his sweet time. Kissing every inch of skin revealed, from your inner thigh to a spot below your knee. He stops after that, instead eyeing the wet spot on your underwear, and then he pulls at his piercings, sending you a dark look that makes you go molten.

“I want to fuck you in this,” he says as he finishes taking off your pants, his free hand going to your hip where he traces your underwear. “Want to ruin your panties.”

“Do it,” you challenge him.

He doesn’t need to hear more before he’s returning over you, and his hand pushes your panties to the side so that he can run a finger between your folds, and then circle your clit. You grind your hips, seeking more friction, but Jungkook doesn’t oblige, instead pulling his finger away from your pussy.

“Be patient,” he whispers, and then he kisses you again.

The kiss is feathersoft, gentle, and you lose yourself in the very essence of him. You don’t care - you just want this moment, forever. A scene constantly replaying, away from the atrocity of the world, with your favourite song as the background music.

“Please,” you beg in a soft murmur when he pulls away from your lips, and this time he obliges, returning his hand to your pussy. This time, he pushes in, and you sigh against him as your walls clench around his digit.

“You’re already so wet,” he says, and then he’s kissing you again, his tongue lapping at yours.

You moan in his mouth, hands lightly scratching his back as he adds a second finger. You can hear squelching sounds between your legs, and you’d be embarrassed if it didn’t feel so good that you can’t form a single coherent thought.

“Fuck,” you curse, and Jungkook chuckles, pecking your cheek.

“You take my fingers so well, peach,” he praises. “Will you take my cock just as well?”

You moan again, and you nod your head yes. “Yeah. Please.”

He smirks, pulling his fingers out of you. You both eye them - they’re covered in your juices, and it’s decadent, sinful.

Even more so when Jungkook puts them in his mouth to clean them thoroughly, drinking in your juices.

“So sweet,” he whispers after, and then he shifts, straightening between your legs so that he can align his dick with your entrance, your panties still pushed to the side. He meets your gaze, his own dark with lust. “How do you want me tonight?” he asks, rubbing his dick on you slowly.

“Just fuck me, but come near,” you say, pulling on one of his wrists so that he leans over you again.

He smiles, infinitely soft despite what you’re doing, and then he pushes in, ever so slowly. Inch after inch, Jungkook spears you with his dick until he bottoms out. He stills there, and you wrap your legs around his dainty waist to keep him as close as possible. He obliges, stealing a deep kiss on your lips, and he slowly pulls out before slamming to the hilt again, and you moan in his mouth.

The rhythm he establishes is slow and steady. Deep, in a way that makes you see stars in his gaze. Or maybe that’s just the way the light reflects in his eyes, or the emotions still swirling in the depths of him. You don’t know. All that you know is that you’re falling and falling, with no chance to ever stop now.

You’ve crossed too many lines to ever be able to stop. So you’ll enjoy it while it lasts. Chase all the cars around his head until you can’t anymore, until the last nail is in the coffin and you have to say goodbye to this, to him.

But for now, you enjoy. And you enjoy as best as you can, eyes fluttering shut as he slightly picks up the pace, whispering sweet nothings in your ear. You hold him close, arms and legs tight around him, and you moan as he makes love to you.

At least that’s what this feels like. And you wouldn’t want it any other way. You just want the warm proximity of his body on yours, of his lips kissing your mouth. Jungkook gives you all, and you hope he knows you’re giving all to him in return.

Everything. You’ll give him everything until you have nothing left to give, if he so takes it.

“Fuck, peach,” he whispers. He slows down his rhythm, meets your gaze. “I’m really in love with this pussy of yours.”

You know why he says it that way. Know exactly what he truly means but can’t say, and you take that too, keep it locked up in a safe corner of your heart.

“I know,” you whisper, cupping his cheek, and he rests his forehead on yours again.

“I’ll fuck you like this every day,” he says, and it sounds like a promise.

A promise that maybe you’ll make it past your brother’s return.

“Please do,” you beg, and then you’re kissing again, and he’s pounding into you harder, seeking completion for the both of you.

You come before him. Nails digging in his back while you arch yours, walls pulsing around him. That’s what sends him over the edge, and Jungkook climaxes, his head falling in the crook of your neck as he comes and comes.

He’d paint you white if it wasn’t for the condom, and the thought makes you grind your hips instinctively. He kisses your neck in retaliation, and you moan softly, tilting your head to give him better access.

When you’ve come down from the high, you glance towards the coffee table and your abandoned game of Ticket to Ride. The sight makes you laugh, and you press a soft kiss on the mole on Jungkook’s neck as he asks, “What’s got you laughing?”

“We never finished the game,” you remind him.

He lifts his head just enough to look at the coffee table. “Damn,” he lets out. “I totally forgot about that.”

You can’t blame him. When you’re together, you forget about everything, too - he becomes the center of your universe. And you wouldn’t want it any other way.

“Should we finish it?” you ask.

He meets your gaze, pecks your forehead once. “Shower first?”

You can’t say no to those big doe eyes, so you follow him to the bathroom.

And while he washes your back, you hear the clock ticking, your expiration date looming closer with every second that passes.

Saturday, April 13th

The movie theatre is packed.

You’re waiting in line for popcorn with Nabi, Namjoon and Ria, while Seokjin, Hoseok and Yoongi go to the bathroom. The hall of the movie theatre is loud, and you’ve been standing in silence with your friends as you wait for your turn, though you’ve been eyeing the menu as you’re trying to decide what to order.

You settle on a medium-sized bag of popcorn to share with Yoongi, and Namjoon and Ria grab different candies and chocolate bars for themselves and your other friends. You’re walking towards your movie room when you notice an all-too recognizable tattooed boy, who stands taller than the group that surrounds him.

His eyes light up when he sees you, and he grins broadly as he waves at you.

Four pairs of eyes turn to look at you - Jimin, Sera, Lisa and Eunwoo - and you smile at them, though your gaze quickly shifts back to Jungkook.

You’d told him you were coming to the movies with your friends before going out for drinks. You’re not surprised he’s decided to pull up - despite everything you’ve told him, he’s jealous of your friendship with Yoongi. Which you reckon is funny - Yoongi is trying to fix things with Hoseok, and all you’ve been doing is offer help to him when he needs it.

You don’t think the relationship is fixable, but you haven’t had the strength to break it to Yoongi yet. Not when they had a moment last week, and he’s been far too happy about it since then.

You walk over to where Jungkook’s standing, your friends in tow. It’s hard to stop yourself from hugging him, but you manage to do it, instead greeting everyone and smiling at Jimin as he asks what movie you’re going to see.

“Dune 2,” you reply.

Jimin snorts, saying, “Thought so.”

It sounds ominous, and you slightly furrow your brows, glancing towards Jungkook. He only shrugs his shoulders as he purses his lips.

And that’s how you end up mixing friend groups for the movie. You’re not surprised when Jungkook manages to sit on your left - he’s clearly been scheming for this all along. Yoongi, entirely oblivious, sits on your right.

“I haven’t even seen the first movie,” Yoongi says as he leans towards you. He quickly glances further down the row, where Hoseok sat with Namjoon and Nabi.

Jungkook mirrors Yoongi, and he’s so close you catch a whiff of the detergent he uses to wash his clothes. “It was practically a walking simulator in the desert. Not much to miss.”

Yoongi nods, sitting back in his seat. He offers you a knowing look, and then turns towards Seokjin and Ria on his other side, joining whatever conversation they’re having. You purse your lips, before sliding your gaze back to Jungkook.

“What are you doing here?” you ask through gritted teeth.

“My friends wanted to see the movie,” he says, shrugging his shoulders. “Thought we could go at the same time.”

You look up to the ceiling, though a smile is playing at the corners of your lips. “What a coincidence.”

He grins. “What a coincidence indeed.”

It makes you chuckle, and before you can say anything else, the light of the movie theatre dims, leaving you in only the glow of the screen as it comes to life.

You eat your popcorn as many movie trailers pass on the screen, Yoongi taking some once in a while. The movie starts when you’re halfway done with the bag, and soon you’re lost in the scenes, too focused to eat.

That’s when Jungkook strikes, stealing a handful of popcorn from your bag.

“Hey!” you whisper-shout, and he winks at you as he eats a mouthful of the snack.

“What?” he whispers back once he’s swallowed.

“That’s mine.”

He flicks your nose, leaning closer to say directly in your ear, “What’s yours is mine, and what’s mine is yours, peach.”

You narrow your gaze. “You haven’t even bought any snacks.”

He shrugs. “I knew I’d steal yours.”

You roll your eyes, slightly shaking your head as you look back towards the screen, and he chuckles softly. Scenes flash in front of your eyes, and you get lost in the action. It might be an hour later, or just a few minutes, when Jungkook pokes your knee, attracting your attention.

You glance at him, but he’s focusing on the screen, his skin looking honey-like in the light. You furrow your brows in question, but when he doesn’t say anything, you shrug, looking back at the screen.

He does it again thirty seconds later, and this time he’s stifling a laugh when you glance at him.

“What do you want?” you whisper as you lean closer to him.

“You,” he replies simply, his eyes darkening as he meets your gaze.

You gulp. “We’re in the middle of a movie theatre with all of our friends.”

“I know,” he says, shrugging. “I’ve just been thinking of how you feel around my…”

You punch his shoulder before he can finish his sentence, and Lisa throws you a look that makes you sit back in your seat, folding your arms on your chest.

“Just focus on the movie, Kook,” you mumble.

He chuckles again, but before he can say anything else, Lisa nudges him. He glances at her, leaning closer when she whispers something you can’t quite hear.

His whole demeanour changes after that, and he sits back in his chair, a slight pout on his lips. Gone is the playfulness, but you think it’s safer that way. He’s way too obvious when you’re in public, and though Taehyung still hasn’t said a thing, you know it’s bound to explode in your face soon.

Jungkook is leaving for Paris in just a few weeks after all.

It douses you, and you finish watching the movie with a lump in your throat, one that doesn’t disappear even when you’re at the bar later, your friend group mixing with Jungkook’s far too easily. Of course, Jungkook notices, and he sits next to you, nudging you.

You glance at him, noticing the concern in his eyes.

“Is something wrong?” he asks.

“No,” you lie, but he sees through it immediately.

“Is it your cramps?”

You’re on your period. Obviously, he knows, and he’s been sweet about it, buying you snacks and putting his hands, always warm, on your lower stomach while you cuddle.

You purse your lips, shaking your head. The concern doesn’t disappear from his features though, and you feel bad. Enough so that you say, “I’m just…”

You trail off as Lisa appears, sitting on the other side of Jungkook with two beers in hand. She gives one to Jungkook, who thanks her quickly before setting his gaze on you again. Yet she lingers, and you find yourself unable to speak, shrugging your shoulders.

“If there’s anything, just let me know,” Jungkook says, and he offers you a small smile that does nothing to tame the worry in his gaze. “I don’t mind heading home earlier.”

You nod once, and the conversation dies as Hoseok appears on the other side of the table, cheeks red with the shots he’s already downed.

“Not drinking tonight?” he asks you.

You shrug. “Not really in the mood.”

Hoseok narrows his gaze in his suspicion. “I’ve never seen you not in the mood to drink.”

You chuckle. “Well, now you have.”

You’re relieved when he lets it go, especially as you sensed Jungkook tensing by your side, an indication that he was going to intervene if Hoseok didn’t drop it. There’s a short silence, during which you notice Hoseok looking at Yoongi where he’s drinking with Namjoon and Seokjin, a few tables over.

You glance at Jungkook, motioning towards Hoseok. Jungkook frowns, not understanding, and you quickly pull out your phone to text him.

[10:37 pm] You: i want to talk to hobi about yoongi but not in front of you guys

Jungkook pulls out his phone to read your message. He doesn’t reply, yet he nods, turning towards Lisa. “Where are Sera and Jimin?”

“Ordering something at the bar,” Lisa replies, entirely unaware. “Why?”

“Want shots?”

Lisa beams under Jungkook’s gaze, and you taste bile in your mouth as they get up and walk away together, Jungkook shooting you a quick glance over his shoulder.

You can complain all you want about Jungkook being jealous of Yoongi, but you’re just as jealous of Lisa after all.

“What’s up with you and Yoongi?” you ask when they’re out of earshot, gaining Hoseok’s attention.

“Man…” he trails off. “I don’t know. I don’t know how I feel.”

“Is that why you’ve decided to switch universities?”

You’ve been asking yourself that question for weeks, but Hoseok has been good at avoiding you, clearly realizing that you’ve grown closer to Yoongi.

Hoseok widens his gaze, and the blush on his cheeks deepens. “No? I said it’s because I’m following a professor.”

“What professor?” you ask, cocking an eyebrow.

Hoseok shrugs, his eyes dropping to a knot in the wood of the table. “Why do you care?”

“You’re my friend,” you remind him. “No matter the history that we have. I’d be sad to see you go.”

He chuckles, and it’s a lot more bitter than you ever expected to hear him. “Listen, I don’t really want to be questioned. Is Yoongi the one that asked you to ask me this?”

“No,” you say. “Not at all. I’m just worried about you.”

“About me?” he repeats. “I’m all good, Y/n.”

He doesn’t sound convincing at all, so you say, “Just make sure you don’t do something you’ll regret.”

“I already did,” he admits, and his glance towards Yoongi is far too telling. “I’m not into him like that. I don’t even know if I’m into men like that.”

“Have you told him?”

He shrugs. “Here and there. I think he knows.”

You think so too, as Yoongi had mentioned it when you’d studied together a few weeks ago.

“Just make sure you’re honest with him, and honest with yourself,” you say after a few beats of silence.

Hoseok purses his lips, nodding once. “Will do.”

The air turns awkward as Hoseok just keeps on staring at the knot in the wood. You feel bad - you used to be a lot closer to him, and in just a few weeks, your relationship shifted. But you think it might be for the better - you can’t imagine how Jungkook would feel if you were close to someone you used to sleep with, considering he’s jealous of a friend you’ve never done anything with.

Not that that would stop you from being friends with someone. Especially not when April 29th is coming soon, and with it, your situationship - you’re not sure you can call it a relationship - will end.

“Where are you moving?” you ask.

“San Diego,” he replies quickly, and a shy smile appears on his lips, like the thought excites him. “I can’t wait to not have to deal with winter anymore.”

“I can imagine,” you say, chuckling. “Though winter wasn’t too bad this year.”

“If there was an inch of snow then it was bad.” He says it wisely, and this time you laugh as he breaks into a smile.

The conversation is easier after that. Still heavy, because you both know the friendship likely won’t survive the distance, but you still manage to have fun as you speak about classes, about life, and about what he’ll do once he’s in California. Half an hour passes like that, and then you move to the bar, agreeing to grab a single drink.

You settle on an Amaretto Sour, and Ria and Nabi join you at the bar. You end up doing Lychee bombs with them, and then you follow them all back to the table where the rest of your friends are, along with Jimin, Sera and Jungkook.

You’re relieved to see Lisa isn’t there. Not that she’s not nice. She always is, despite her obvious attraction towards Jungkook. And though she clearly senses that something’s happening between you and Jungkook, she’s never said anything, and you respect her for it.

You sit between Nabi and Ria, and Nabi quickly melts against Namjoon next to her. You snort at the sight, turning to say it to Ria, who seems to be in a staring contest with Seokjin across the table.

You don’t really know what’s happening between the two. Ria mentioned that she’s not interested in him, saying he’s just gotten out of a relatively long relationship, and you’re not close enough to Seokjin to know his opinion.

You’re just observant, and you know just how much the air fills with electricity when these two are concerned. Lightning is bound to strike at some point, and you just hope it does so without hurting anyone.

You wonder, is that how the people around you perceive you and Jungkook?

The evening unfolds, calmer than your usual outings - you find yourself going home just a little after midnight. Jungkook’s with you, and he unlocks the door as you slowly walk up the stairs, shooting you a glance.

“You sure everything’s okay?” he asks as you finally reach the top.

You purse your lips, meeting his gaze. The streetlight down the stairs reflects in his gaze, and he looks angelic, innocent like this.

“Yeah, I’m just…” you trail off. “You’re leaving soon.”

His features soften, and he opens the door for you to walk in, following behind you. “I know,” he says once he’s shut the door.

You turn the lights on, meeting his gaze. Unable to help yourself, you cup his cheek, thumb swiping at his skin. “Want to share a bed tonight?” you ask.

As if you haven’t been sharing a bed for weeks already.

“Yes, of course,” he immediately agrees, and he covers your hand with his own, tugging you closer. “If you kiss me first.”

That makes you smile, like only he knows to do, and you tiptoe, pressing your lips on his in a featherlike peck.

“That doesn’t count,” he complains, lips jutting out in a small pout.

“Then kiss me,” you challenge. “Kiss me stupid.”

You don’t need to ask twice - he closes the distance between your mouths, lips ravaging yours, and you lose your hands in his hair.

Later, after you’ve sucked his dick in the shower - you don’t like having sex on your period, but you still wanted to make him feel good - you lie down in your bed, the fairy lights making the atmosphere far gentler than it should be.

It’s treacherous, and you lie with your head on Jungkook’s chest, listening to his steady heartbeat. Chasing Cars is playing on his speaker, and you hold him tighter, putting all of your love in the act. He kisses the top of your head, mouth lingering against you.

“I’m happy you came tonight,” you admit. Indeed, despite the anxiety of Taehyung learning, you like hanging out with Jungkook. Like spending as much time as possible with him right now - the clock is ticking after all, and the sound resembles that of a bomb about to go off.

“Me too,” he whispers.

You lift your head, meeting his gaze. “Have you talked to Taehyung recently?”

The question takes him aback, and his eyebrows knit together. “I speak to him almost every day, why?”

Because you’ve been avoiding your brother like the plague. Because you know the second you speak to Taehyung, you’ll blurt out the truth, and you’re not ready to face his reaction yet.

You doubt you’ll ever be ready.

“How is he and the girl doing?” you ask. “Ariane?”

“Good,” Jungkook answers. “They’re pretty much official now.”

Your lips stretch in a thin line, and you rest your head on his chest again.

You don’t want him to see the jealousy in your gaze.

“Good for him.” It sounds just as flat as you feel - like a tire pierced with a nail, emptied of all air.

Jungkook must feel it too, because his grip around you tightens, like he’s trying to fuse your bodies together. As if it’d save you from the looming heartbreak.

“We’ll figure it out,” Jungkook whispers a while later, when you thought he was asleep.

You hope he doesn’t take your silence personal - you just don’t think you can figure it out.

Taehyung would never let it happen. So silence is what you offer Jungkook, and you wonder if the beat his heart skips is an indication that he’s breaking, much like you are breaking too.

Sunday, April 28th

Time goes by fast. Sometimes, you think it’s even faster when you’re trying to hold on to something - like sand slipping through the fingers of a fist held tight, time has been slipping away.

The end is near.

You’re sitting on Jungkook’s bed, watching him as he packs his suitcase. He’s been lazy, stopping often so that he can kiss you, hold you. He’s been clingy lately, much like you’ve been.

Like you’ve been trying to fit a whole relationship in just a few weeks.

Jungkook lifts his head from his sock drawer, meeting your gaze. He smiles, but there’s sadness behind his pupils, lurking in the depths of his eyes. You want to take it away, but all you manage to do is smile a weak smile.

“I wonder if they’ll want to go to the Catacombs,” Jungkook says.

He’s been saying random stuff once in a while as he packs, grasping for a conversation you haven’t been able to join in. But you try, you always try, and you know he’s not mad at you for it.

Jungkook could never be mad at you.

It’s strange how he changed in the last four months. You think back on the Incident, that dreaded Incident you had believed to be the most embarrassing thing in your life. Today, you know it wasn’t. It was the start of something great, something you wish never had an expiration date.

But nothing gold can stay, or so they say.

“I bet they’re creepy,” you answer. “Not sure I’d go if I were you.”

“I assume you’re the kind of person who gets scared while watching horror movies too, huh?” Jungkook teases, and he walks towards you, hands full of socks.

He drops them in the suitcase at your feet as you slightly shake your head, a teasing smirk growing on your lips. You doubt it meets your eyes, but it’s the best you can do.

“Says you, who prefers watching romance over action,” you tease.

Indeed, the first few times you’ve watched movies together, he’s suggested going for action first. But he never once appeared disappointed when you chose a romance movie, instead beaming at you as he nodded enthusiastically. It was adorable, endearing, like everything is when it comes to Jungkook.

You can hardly believe he used to sleep around, used to be the most renowned fuckboy in your college. Nowadays, Jungkook appears more like a hopeless romantic, and it’s easy to figure out why.

As someone who never received love from his family, he’s been craving it his whole life. At least you think so, and you’ve been giving it to him, pouring it to him, by actions rather than words.

“Nothing beats romance,” he declares, and you chuckle as he plops down on the bed next to you.

You turn your head towards him as he lies down, one hand on his chest.

“Is that why you cry in every movie?”

He frowns, a pout adorning his lips. “I don’t.”

You cock an eyebrow, because obviously he does, and you both burst out laughing at the same time.

No matter how dreaded the circumstances are, the chemistry between you and Jeon Jungkook is undeniable. And as you look at him, you wonder if there’s a universe out there where you’re allowed to be with him. Where older brothers aren’t a thing, and where you get to call him yours, to scream it from the rooftops.

It douses your enthusiasm, and your smile falls as you look away.

Jungkook sits up, cupping your cheek to force you to look at him again. He scans your features for a few seconds, and you stare at his eyebrow piercing, as if that will keep you from crumbling.

“You know…” he lets out. He sucks on his lower lip piercings, pulling at them so hard you think it has to hurt. “I’ve been thinking.”

“Yeah?”

He nods. “I really want to make us work.”

His simple sentence empties everything in your head, in your soul, until there’s just him left.

“But how?”

“I’ll speak to Taehyung,” he says, for what has to be the thousandth time. Indeed, you’ve had that conversation before, but you never once agreed. “I’ll speak to him in Paris, and then when I come back this doesn’t have to be over.”

“This?” you repeat.

“Us.”

You sigh, and you look between his eyes. Hope lights his gaze, and you think there has to be a museum out there to exhibit such beauty.

Jungkook is breathtaking in every way that matters.

“Tae will kill you,” you say, and the hope slowly withers like flowers in the fall. “Try to have a nice trip instead.”

“Then we can talk to him when I come back,” Jungkook suggests. “Together. I can use you as a human shield if he tries to kill me.”

You snort, and the hope reignites in his gaze. “What if it doesn’t work?”

“Then he’ll be mad,” Jungkook simply states. “I don’t want to lose you, peach.”

Fuck. You’re in love, and you’re in love deep.

“You might lose his friendship,” you say, but your resolve is melting away far quicker than you expected. Because he’s offering you a silver lining, a life vest in the storm that’s been raging inside your head for weeks.

“I honestly don’t care,” Jungkook says, but you see it in his eyes: he cares, and he’d be hurt. “I’m sure he’ll get over it.”

You highly doubt so but… what if he does? What if he forgives Jungkook, forgives you?

Then you wouldn’t need to travel to another universe. You’d have this one, and you’d have Jungkook.

Maybe you should try.

“Are you sure?” you ask, voice smaller than the atoms holding your body together.

He nods vehemently. “I am. 100%. I don’t want to lose you when we’ve barely just started.”

“Kook…”

He kisses you then, as if he needs to show you with action instead of words. You end up tangled in his bed, your bodies connected on a level deeper than the physical, yet you wouldn’t dare say it. And he doesn’t either, not even when you inevitably go to bed later that evening.

You’re nestled in his embrace, a few minutes after he’s turned his LED lights off, when you say, “Kook?”

“Mmh?”

“Don’t talk to Tae in Paris,” you say. “We’ll wait for you to come back. And we’ll talk to him together.”

“Okay,” he whispers. “Okay. If that’s your wish, then I can do it.” He’d said so earlier after all.

You nod. “I think it’s better if it comes from us both instead of just you.”

“Makes sense.” Jungkook kisses your forehead, and a soft smile spreads on your lips. “And peach?”

“Yeah?” you murmur.

“If you miss me too much, feel free to sleep in my bed and wear my clothes, okay?”

“Okay.”

He kisses your forehead again, and despite the words exchanged, you fear it might mean goodbye.

Prev | Chapter 10.5 | Next

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no but why did I forget how sad this chapter was? Help, they are so afraid to lose each other :') anywayyys what did you guys think about this chapter? Did you like it?? Please let me know:)

#chasing cars ch 10 #jungkook smut #jungkook angst #jungkook fluff #jungkook x you #jungkook x reader #jungkook fic #jungkook #jjk smut #jjk angst #jjk fluff #jjk x you #jjk x reader #jjk fic #jjk #jeon jungkook #btswritersclub #chasing cars #chasing cars series

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