#snl wants this situational comedy

[keyki421]

Jo Koy didn't offended anyone. He simply isn't funny.

I'm annoyed that people are now trying to claim that people are being too sensitive in regards to Jo Koy's jokes. Let me set the record straight. No one was offended. No one is being too sensitive.

THE MAN AIN'T FUNNY.

Ya'll are so confused by cancel culture and wanting to label everything as "too woke" that ya'll defend the dumbest comedians. Jo Koy's jokes were on the level of an elementary/ middle school child. They were just nonsense jokes that didn't make any sense and simply weren't funny. This crowd has been insulted before. They can deal, it just has to be FUNNY.

Ricky Gervais did it. He did offend some, but the majority of the actors laughed at his jokes. They didn't take anything he said to heart. What are people supposed to do? Laugh when they don't find something funny.

Comedy has gotten worse not better and it has nothing to do with wokeness. Ya'll celebrate comedians who are basically adult bullies. Their jokes don't have any substance to them. They are easily forgettable jokes, because all they do is make fun of something that is so obvious. It's like calling a fat person, fat. It might get a chuckle, but all you are really doing is pointing out what everyone knows and what everyone can see. No one is actually thinking and processing your joke.

The bulk of Jo Koy's jokes are exaggerated Asian accents, culture and situations. Those are this man's bread and butter. He basically can't survive without them. He couldn't do that at the Golden Globes, so he flopped. It also feels like he didn't even watch the movies he was supposed to joke about. He was so clueless.

Side Note: Does anyone know how he even got this hosting job? Cause I really wanna know. Jo Koy isn't even that popular or known enough to host an award show. Most of the comments I saw, where people trying to figure who the fuck he even was. Kristen Wigg's was right there and yet they skipped past her. I know her and even the unfunny skits she did on SNL, are more laughable than anything Jo Koy did that night.

[magentagalaxies]

Writing an Essay on Brooklyn 99 So Maybe I Can Stop Thinking About It Every Day:

i can't wait for like 20 years from now when we'll be able to have thoroughly researched academic articles about what the fuck happened with brooklyn 99 and its place in the culture bc even tho i haven't cared to rewatch a single episode since it ended i still think about the show at least once a day because of how fucking surreal that situation was. and ik we already have some (very good!) video essays about the copaganda aspect of it but i feel like we're not gonna be able to understand the full scope of what this sitcom means until decades from now

like it's just so bizarre when you think about it, bc while police and the broader "justice" system have always been viewed as inherently cruel and biased to target minorities and uphold the rich white cishet status quo by many people, this view wasn't quite as mainstream when the show started. the show being set at a police department likely carried none of this baggage to the people working on it when it was first pitched. the thought process was (likely) more like well, we already have sitcoms that take place at all these generic jobs, so "cop" is a natural continuation of that list, as well as well, police dramas have been huge for the past twenty years, so having a sitcom set at a police department allows us to spoof that and get some cool action sequences, and let's be real andy samberg needs something to do after snl. like not excusing the glorification of cops by any means, but imagine if you were the creator of "the office" and then around season 6 it became impossible to ignore that paper companies were inherently racist and killing people and there was a movement to defund them??? again, it's not a perfect analogy bc there are just inherent parts of being a cop that should have tipped people off that maybe this isn't the best for a goofy comedy, but i don't think this show was made with any malicious intent, it was just very bad luck

but the "goofy sitcom about cops comes out when cops are still seen (by the mainstream) as normal guys and stays on the air long enough to have an existential crisis in 2020" thing honestly isn't the only reason this show fascinates me. i think this aspect has been covered by other people a fair amount, and honestly it's not even unique to brooklyn 99 (there are still a TON of cop shows on the air rn, even cop comedies! none of them have reached the same heights as brooklyn 99 but yeah unfortunately the "defund the police" movement did not kill cop shows). the real reason brooklyn 99 has retained such a bizarre place in sitcom history, and why it even had this identity crisis to begin with, is in its tone.

if i had to guess the three things brooklyn 99 is most remembered for are:

being a copaganda sitcom that tried not to be and imploded on itself

the cold open bits that were such widespread memes that even if you've never watched the show you can probably quote at least two

the diversity of its characters

we're going to focus on number three. brooklyn 99 was a groundbreakingly diverse show from the very beginning. the number of people of color in its cast was beyond most sitcoms at the time, and captain holt being openly gay was a plot point from the pilot episode. however, i don't think the show really embraced its status as "the woke sitcom" until around season 2 or 3 (i don't remember exactly when the shift happened and i don't want to rewatch it to find out) in the earliest episodes, the tone is more focused on typical sitcom tropes combined with parodies of police drama tropes. this is also a very egregious era for people to look back on like "hm the behavior of these cops isn't entirely ethical even tho they're the supposed good guys," but again other people have covered this topic way better than i can

however, in seasons 3-5 brooklyn 99 started to take off in liberal circles because of its "progressive" politics. the show's female characters were badass and had actual personalities! the show had characters who were people of color and acknowledged racism existed! the show even started having episodes that acknowledged these issues, and its cast pushed for advocacy as well. as someone who was deep in the "brooklyn 99 is out unproblematic fave" culture of that era, i specifically remember rosa's coming out episode as a huge moment for queer representation, and i remember how much people applauded the episode where terry is racially profiled by another officer for shedding light on the issue. the characters on brooklyn 99 weren't just seen as "the good guys," they were seen as an ideal diverse friend group. the retort whenever someone pointed out the copaganda was to point out the depiction of other cops on the show being "the bad guys," and explain "brooklyn 99 isn't saying all cops are good, it's saying that our main characters are an example of what police should be like, and we can work together to make the system better!" i'll dissect this take more later, but for not this is just a snapshot of what the culture was like.

the main thing i remember from being on tumblr during the heyday of brooklyn 99 was this phrase being repeated over. and over. and over. again:

"this is proof that you can be funny without being offensive!"

sure, brooklyn 99 wasn't the only show to be given this tag line by its fan base, but i associate this take with brooklyn 99 more than any other show that was popular during that time. especially when it comes to the cold open bits, like "now number five", or "the full bullpen!" or "hot damn!" it would also be applied to bits about queerness like "bye rosa!" or "BONE???" which is understandable, since most sitcom audiences were used to queerness constantly being the butt of the joke and it was nice to just hear bisexuality used as a non-judgmental pun for once.

this was also during an era where "offensive comedy" was very heavily taken over by the right wing, especially trump supporters. in the minds of many, "offensive comedy" just meant a conservative saying slurs and getting butthurt when people stopped laughing. the right was offensive and grotesque, so the left would take the high road and be tolerant of everything. we don't want to offend people, but we still want comedy, so brooklyn 99 is a nice way to reassure ourselves that we can still laugh while being as inoffensive as possible. the ironic thing is i'm sure someone can find a reason to find any one of these brooklyn 99 cold opens offensive. i'm not going to make a callout post for every single potentially offensive thing in these bits bc that just feels like making up a guy to get mad at, but my point is "offensiveness" is subjective and not the deadly sin we thought it was.

(to detour slightly, this idea of "proof that you can be funny without being offensive" was so internalized in me that i ended up self-censoring my own works so much. it actually wasn't until i discovered scott thompson's comedy that i realized being "offensive" in the overt queerness of your work is actually so much more powerful than trying to look unproblematic. homophobes are gonna find you disgusting no matter what you do, so don't censor yourself to seem better than them because at best they won't care and at worst they'll see you as the death of comedy)

season five was the peak of brooklyn 99 imo. the show was diverse. the fandom was everywhere. the comedy was iconic. then it was cancelled. not the social-media-version of cancelled, that will come much later. fox, the network brooklyn 99 aired on, pulled the plug on the show after season five, leading to a massive uproar on twitter in defense of the show. major celebrities were tweeting about how they watched it every week, people were petitioning other networks to pick it up, and eventually someone did!! brooklyn 99 was brought back on nbc through season 8 and we all lived happily ever after

just kidding but can you imagine?

whenever brooklyn 99 pops into my brain these days, i keep coming back to the same theory, which is that the show would be remembered much more fondly if it was just cancelled after season five. i would've been sad, sure, but think about it. it's 2018. this show is still viewed as the pinnacle of positive representation by so many people. its fan base is vast and passionate, and it even ended on the classic wedding episode for the will-they/won't-they couple. yeah it's a shame to let all that momentum go to waste and not have a proper sendoff for everyone, but we move on and fans fill in the gaps themselves through their own creativity. a few years down the line, our nation finally experiences a reckoning with police brutality and the defund the police movement gains traction. this of course taints the legacy of our beloved cop sitcom, but we didn't know back then (even though we really should've), and since the show is done we can just enjoy it as escapism while also being firm in our beliefs irl. this system isn't perfect, but the question of how do we remember brooklyn 99? is a lot easier when brooklyn 99 is not currently airing

but brooklyn 99 was airing, and seasons 6-8 were a mess. even beyond the copaganda conversation, things just felt a bit off. the shorter seasons definitely didn't help, since they took away a fan favorite aspect of the show (the halloween heist episodes, which honestly are the only things i'm ever tempted to rewatch anymore) and gave us less and less time in the world of our characters. jake and amy had a kid, because that's what sitcom couples are supposed to do. we saw rosa's girlfriend. and rosa's girlfriend. and rosa's girlfriend. the show dealt with mass shootings, the #metoo movement, and other topical issues.

then the world shut down, and middle class white people finally had to reckon with the realities of police brutality since they couldn't look away. brooklyn 99 of course was swept up in this conversation, and since they were always known as the most progressive sitcom on television, they had to do something. but it was looking more and more like despite all their efforts "progressive cop show" was an oxymoron, and all they could do was try and minimize the damage while making a swift exit.

there have already been several essays on how brooklyn 99 handled its identity as a "cop show" in its final season, and this essay is already long enough so I won't get into the weeds even more here. some aspects were a good step towards important conversations (rosa quitting, jake's realization that everyone sees themselves as one of the good ones, etc.). some were... trying their best? but also vague enough that there was no substance beyond just saying "this is a thing" (amy's arc about submitting a proposal defunding some police programs? i don't even remember if that's what it was about since it was so vague). and others were just kind of baffling??? like. the show ends with jake quitting being a cop, which is good. and his decision is framed as entirely about wanting to spend more time with his son... but also the whole reason he got to spend more time with his son was because he got suspended for intimidating a suspect and being super unethical??? and that's never brought up again or cited as a reason for jake quitting. like, they already had rosa quit because she realized being a cop was just contributing to a corrupt system, and jake has just had the dark realization that no matter how golden-retriever-husband he is, he's still a corrupt cop??? but they fully ignore that and make the finale about family??? idk it just feels like they wrote the finale before everything went down and never bothered to rewrite it.

but the important thing is that brooklyn 99 finally ended, and rather than being met with the standing ovation of its almost-finale in season five, it was met with... still a moderate amount of applause, but mostly people looking away and awkwardly asking what to do with it now. in the years since, i have barely seen anything about brooklyn 99 on the internet. idk if it's just because of who i surround myself with, but to contrast, i still see things about the office, parks and rec, community, scrubs, 30 rock, etc. years after they ended. i didn't even like the office! and these shows certainly had problematic elements as well (even my favorites on this list, community and scrubs, have some jokes that really don't hold up), but even tho i couldn't scroll past 5 posts on tumblr in 2015 without seeing a fandom redraw of "and i know that if i run at terry he will catch me" "JAKE I'M HOLDING COFFEE!", brooklyn 99 has kind of... vanished?

the only times i'm forced to think about brooklyn 99 now (outside of this essay bouncing around my brain every 24 hours) are when i see a post where it is the butt of the joke or a piece of discourse that we all know the right side of. a netflix synopsis of the show prioritizes saying it's "full of memeable moments" but never uses the word "cop." that's obviously bad, but also, that's accurate to how we thought of the show back in 2015. the cop thing was easily ignorable by its fans. or, more potently, on a post about how cops shouldn't be allowed at pride, some clueless steven universe blog pipes up "what about captain holt?" and is treated to a barrage of "HE'S A FICTIONAL CHARACTER STOP BEING A BOOTLICKER." and maybe that's evidence of the more damning legacy of brooklyn 99, that for all its progressive storytelling, it's still a cop show. and even if you're a fan who knows most cops aren't like our main characters and they're just an example of how the system should be, that still makes you idolize the idea that there could be people like these characters who made you feel seen, and that they're working in the police force. that if you say "ACAB" you could make captain holt sad, because even though the show and fandom tried so hard to make the police identity secondary to their mission of diversity, the police identity has to come first in order for any real change to be made.

that's all i have for now. i'm sure i didn't explain things entirely perfectly and that there's major aspects to this conversation that i missed, but that's why i'm excited to read someone else's analysis in 20 years. i'm very curious to see what brooklyn 99's legacy will be like then.

[carterreviewsmovies]

Big Daddy (1999) Review

Big Daddy Directed by Dennis Dugan

Year Released: 1999 Duration: 93 Minutes Filming Format: 35mm Video: Colour Audio: Dolby 2.0 Surround Language: English Aspect Ratio: 1.85:1 Joey Lauren Adams Marathon 1/3

Adam Sandler's 1999 film, Big Daddy, tells the story of Sonny Koufax (Adam Sandler), a law school dropout, living in comfort on the settlement money he had earned a year prior (due to an altercation with a taxicab). Life is drastically changed for Sonny when a boy named Julian (Cole Sprouse, Dylan Sprouse) is dropped at his door. The child turns out to be the illegitimate son of Sonny's roommate Kevin Garrity (Jon Stewart) who is away on business in China. In a convoluted scheme to prove he is responsible to his girlfriend, Sonny decides to pose as Kevin to social services, caring for the child himself.

Sonny begins by allowing Julian to make his own decisions such as picking his clothing, what he eats, when he sleeps, etc. While this parenting method makes Julian happy, it quickly unravels once he is enrolled in school. The teacher quickly complains about Julian’s lack of progress, personal hygiene, fashion sense, and tendency to relieve himself on the walls or in potted plants. Finally grasping the severity of the situation, Sonny makes a change with the aide of Layla (Joey Lauren Adams) in raising Julian. The hard work put into both Julian’s development and Sonny's maturing as an adult is soon tested when social services begin to ask questions regarding Sonny's true identity.

While Big Daddy did not perform as well with critics as its preceding films (Roger Ebert gave the film one and a half stars out of four), it is a turning point in Sandler's career. Once known for his raunchy, nonsensical, and abrasive comedy, we now see a softer side to Sandler's character. We see a man who wants to change, a man who deep down craves responsibility and leaves behind his younger years of partying for something more meaningful.

The film also serves as, what I believe to be, a very important part of modern history in the terms of Hollywood's transition in accepting the LGBT community. Peter Dante and Allen Covert play two guys who were a part of Sonny's law school friend group. They, later on, discover their sexuality and are now in a relationship. While occasionally taking shots at their expense (in a good-hearted fashion) and Jonathan Loughran's character expressing visible discomfort, the film shows us men that are willing to at least try to understand. Sonny at one point explains to Layla "Nothing really changed, we just watch a different kind of porno now." This line drives across the main theme of love the film presents. In a notoriously misogynistic, prejudiced industry, we have one of the world's most popular comedians exclaiming it doesn't matter who you love, and that acceptance and caring are learned virtues that can be attained as long as you're willing to be open-minded.

At times the jumps from humour to sentimentality can be jarring but I feel it works in favour of the film. The transition of emotions is messy, but so is raising a child. It's messy, chaotic, confusing, and overwhelming. Sometimes things don't make sense but things will work out if you persist in your love for your child, partner, or friend.

Overall one of my favourites of Sandler's 90s movie run, ranking close to Billy Maddison. Sandler in his earlier years is obsessed with the theme of having to grow up and he has somewhat manifested this theme in his own life. We all know and love the goofy SNL era of Adam Sandler, many of us even love his raunchy later-in-life comedies like Grown Ups (mostly for nostalgia's sake), and we get to see him as a mature actor now in films like Punch Drunk Love and Uncut Gems.

-- Carter

[acapacityforenduring]

loustat, armand/daniel <3 and armand/louis and armand/lestat while we're at it

thank you for not stopping at the first two. these guys might not be on penny dreadful levels of polycule insanity, but they are nearly there. im going to give you a novel bc well where else am i gonna do this? im gonna reference book (including later ones i havent read) stuff so if ur avoiding that for some reason uhhhh consider not doing that bc spoilers are fun

loustat: when i read the book, i did not have time for this ship. i hated both of the characters and the writing was so bad that i just did not want to hear it. however…well, we all saw what happened in real time this fall. i was always interested in some of the broad strokes of the book, and the show filled them in in a way that really clicked for me. i love how they are endgame like if they were my friends id make sure they stayed on separate continents but i LOVE to see them bother each other as a viewer. why must they keep trying even though they have irreconcilable differences? theyre soulmates thats why. it’s an interesting ship bc of the unreliable narration. i love the shows version with them having a courtship and a real relationship near the beginning. gay enough indeed!! the way lestat loves is so interesting to me so of course im interested in the love of his life. yes it’s sometimes the wrong kind of love expression but at its heart it’s sharing a coffin and anything for louis (which isnt an ideal like lestat maybe think about urself but. cant go on lestat trauma tangent!!)

armand/daniel: love this one as well but for its normalcy. and yes it’s normalcy amidst completely batshit antics, but still!! like it’s a ship of boyfriends not husbands you know? and yet i take it way too seriously. i think it really gives armand a chance at something good. yes he repeats some patterns from when he was a human in a relationship with a vampire but i think there are crucial differences. i love all the pet names too. oh i should comment on them in the show. idk tall armand and notblond daniel does remove some of the layers but of course itd be fun to see him fuck that old man and i hope they got up to some fun stuff in the past!

armand/louis: i could almost stand the parts of the book with armand. idk it just seemed so much more tolerable. you cant even say oh i was young and just liked a relationship that seemed less complicated on the surface bc of what i was shipping back then. so yeah i do like it as a ship and i think it’s hilarious that they build this wonderful life together in the later book canon and then lestats like hey louis want to live a life that youll hate with me? and louis goes immediately. thats comedy baby. but it’s nice that they both have this place (their relationship) where they can kinda chill and recoop.

armand/lestat: i love mess!! bc i like armand, i do think it’s too bad lestat rejected him. it totally makes sense for who lestat is, and maybe armand wasnt reaching for him for sustainable reasons, but i think itd be fun if they got together in a different situation, sometime in the era of the books or after. just for fun! theyre in each others lives anyway.

ive also seen daniel/louis and daniel/lestat which are both funny and both ruby approved. i love how these vampires are always falling into each others beds, so i support every configuration possible (except for characters i hate they should die :) ). theyre like the kissing family on snl to me

[tomwambscunts]

Based on che show notes (tysm @andydismukes) and the entire season 47 I believe with my whole heart that we only need 6 feature players, dismukes, pdd, ego, rosebud, jake, deetch, bulla, jost, yim, alex, stephen. All due respect to other people but these people are the future. I know you’ll agree lol

I’ve been saying the exact same thing for months but also this is a vision of a younger audience. It’s only natural for us to connect with Dismukes more than Tucker’s writing or Heidi for example. But snl has a wider audience than that, it’s different for a 50 year old who has been watching Kenan for 20 years. Someone has to resonate with them, so I get why they lean into keeping these people around but I believe it’s more about wanting their presence, and less about their comedy. I think with the newer hires it’s the reverse situation (well mostly). But yes, of course I agree with this.

[suckitsurveys]

What’s the most worthwhile thing you’ve done in the last year? I went to a bunch of comedy shows and concerts last year and honestly had one of the best summers I’ve had in a while.

What foods make you want to gag? Nothing, really. There’s a few things I don’t like but it doesn’t make me gag.

Do you consider yourself to be organized? Yes, I do.

Have you ever made out with someone? Yes.

What time do you get sleepy? Always.

What music do you listen to? A buncha different stuff.

How old were you when you started to walk? A little before 1yr.

Which member of your family do you get along with the best? My dad.

What cheers you up when you’re sad? Kitties, watching TV, my husband, food.

What do you sleep in? Tshirt and undies usually.

Have you ever tanned topless? Nope.

Wear jewelry? Yeah, earrings and my nose ring mostly. Sometimes chokers and necklaces and bracelets.

What’s something you’ve been told you’re good at? Planning stuff.

How much can you eat? A lot.

What’s the furthest away you’ve ever traveled? SLC I think?.

Are you a cat or dog person? Cat.

Have you ever done drugs? Just weed.

What does your room look like? It’s cozy and taken over by cat trees lol.

Recommend a really amazing book. Nah.

Recommend a really amazing song. I’m really into Olivia Rodrigo right now so anything by her.

Recommend a really amazing movie. Wet Hot American Summer.

Who’s your favorite actor/actress? Paul Rudd, Aubrey Plaza, Will Arnett.

Have you ever run away from home? No.

Do you exercise ever? I do. I’ve been going to the gym every day except Wednesdays when I do an in home work out.

Do you like your hair, the way it is and the colour? It needs to be dyed again already. I wanna do something dark again before I go to NYC.

Do you have any friends named Baloo? Or is he just in the Junglebook? I don’t know anyone named Baloo.

Are you a Disney movie fan? Sure, I have ones I like.

Do you eat seafood? Yes. I LOVE seafood.

When was the last time you cried? I think I got teary eyed over a tik tok the other day.

Do you have good working habits? Hahahahahah I’m literally doing this survey while I’m at work. And the other day I almost missed my time to clock out because I was talking to someone.

So where the hell do you want to go in life? I don’t know.

What are your boundaries? I have different ones for different situations/people.

What are some of the funniest things you can think of? certain SNL sketches or stand up comedian bits.

What are two quirky little things about you? I hate self-describing things as quirky.

Are you claustrophobic? Not really.

Do you like getting wasted? Not so much anymore.

List three things that you look for in a friend. Good sense of humor, similar values, ability to put up with my hyper-fixations hahahaha

Do you prefer Angels and Airwaves or Rhianna? Eh.

What religion are you, if any? I’m not.

If your house was on fire (and your family escaped), what would you save? My kitties, hands down.

Do you have any sash belts? No.

What do you have on right now? Include everything, nail polish, makeup, etc I don’t feel like listing everything.

Does caffeine make you hyper? I don’t think it does jack shit for me.

[jakeperalta]

Totally agree with the last anon. It's just like mean for no reason? Also if Taylor moved on and is happy..why is it still being brought up all the time? I don't even care about him but sometimes it sends me into a spiral. I honestly think about if that was me in the situation, like if I was a writer dating a famous actor...and people said mean things about me. I would also want to be very private in that situation personally. I know it's silly, but this is also a plot of a book I'm in the middle of which made me think it lol. I know we don't know the full details though and how he wants to be famous too. I also feel like its something I'll have to worry about with my future hypothetical bf's friends..like they'll all be happy that my hypothetical bf finally left me for being weird introverted or disabled or whatever. I feel like I've seen that in a few movies so I'm sure it would happen in real life..it's something I've been worrying about more and more as I get older to not even wanna try dating but this has made me worry about it more in the past months and makes me so insecure. I really wonder if this is a common thing or not among extroverted people. Like how people were saying Taylor looked so happy and free at the VMAS..not having to worry about Joe anymore or something just bothered me..idk. I feel very embarrassed sending this and I'm sorry other people feel like this too.

yeah I think probably most people very much wouldn't want to be famous (especially anything adjacent to taylor level fame) and if anything it seems more weird to not want to keep your life private when it's under that much scrutiny, even if you're in a job that can come with some fame. speaking of books this makes me think of romantic comedy by curtis sittenfeld about an snl writer dating a heartthrob major celebrity, the concept of a "normal" person dating someone so famous is interesting.

you're definitely not the only one to have those anxieties/insecurities around dating! it's so easy to feel like the sort of limiting party in a relationship, even when that isn't actually true, and especially given that there's this idea of being happy and free that's usually synonymous with being outgoing. but ultimately I do believe most people are more understanding and accepting than it can seem based on that type of post <3

[themovieblogonline]

Eddie Murphy is Funny AF in You People

You People is the new Netflix romantic comedy starring Jonah Hill, Eddie Murphy, Laren London, and Nia Long. The movie is co-written by both Joah Hill and director Kenya Barris the creator of Black-ish. You People tells the story of a Jewish white man and a black Muslim woman who fall in love. the biggest draw in this movie is the social and cultural clashes with the in-laws that lead to some funny AF moments in the movie. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pCMHc-IFAB0 You People Netflix Review I really enjoy you people and I'm going I definitely recommend catching this when you have the time. Here's what I liked: THE GOOD I came into this movie for Eddie and Eddie Delivers. Sure, Jonah Hill's Ezra makes me laugh but I came here for Eddie. Eddie plays Akbar Mohammed the father of Lauren London's Amira Mohammed. I get a different style of comedy from Eddie than I expect but I still really like it. Akbar goes out of his way to make the engagement to his daughter difficult for Jonah Hill's Ezra.  Eddie is matched by his counterpart in Julia Louis Dreyfus who plays Ezra's mother Shelley Cohen. Shelley nails the typical tone-deaf mom perfectly and is hilarious in her performance. Thank you Netflix for providing this SNL reunion I didn't know I needed. Ezra Miller and Lauren London are the focus of the love story in You People and are surprisingly cute together. They're meeting is adorable with Ezra mistaking Amira's car for his Uber and giving her a scare. The montage of their dating life is adorable and I actually believe them as a couple while watching. The crap hits the fan when Ezra wants to marry Amira and decides to ask her parents' permission. Nia Long flexes her comedic range and is able to shine alongside Eddie and Jonah in Rosco's Chicken and Waffles. I really like the absurdity of the moment as it's a creative way to highlight Akbar's polar opposite personality. My favorite parts of You People are when Amira and Ezra's families interact. The humor in these moments can get dark, and sometimes cringe, but they often deliver some funny moments. David Duchovny delivers a super duper dry humor love-it-or-hate-it performance. I won't ruin it but he has a moment in the movie with Lauren London's Amira that had me chuckling. The littering of guest stars for family members makes for some fun moments and adds spontaneity to an already surprising movie. THE BAD Some of the situational humor feels forced or just feel unrealistic. Jonah Hill and Eddie Murphy are paired together in some of the funniest scenes in the movie but also some of the worst. There's a scene in which Akbar brings Ezra to play basketball in a black neighborhood.  It's a love-it-or-hate-it scene and I just don't like it. I also don't like the barbershop scene even though I understand the intent. There's also a random joke later about storming the capital that's also a miss. This movie suffers from a lot of missed opportunities. There are times when You People will build momentum and tease leaning into some potentially funny moments but shies away at the last second. These moments happen throughout the movie when You People feels like it's on the verge of greatness but holds back. Even the ending of the movie shies away from leaning into some of the subjects and wraps things up neatly seemingly from out of nowhere. OVERALL You People is a very enjoyable movie and is entertaining from beginning to end. I feel like I came into this movie for Eddie and but I left with a family. This movie does a great job of walking the line and bringing humor to sensitive topics. I can see this movie played for a lot of families of couples in similar circumstances and I will absolutely recommend this to any that I know. Read the full article

[wizzard890]

One of my biggest pet peeves is when books or movies are like "what if it’s the past but with things like selfies and shutter shades and yas queen" and don't....have anything to say with that. I’m not talking about comedies, I’m talking about historical anachronisms that get deployed in dramas. 

Like, this is a stylistic choice, and thanks to things like Hamilton, it’s one that’s becoming more and more common, so I get all sorts of opportunities to think about why some examples are so shallow and annoying, and why others work so well. 

I think of it as the difference between Sophia Coppola’s Marie Antoinette - an enormously sensitive and successful example! - and the Broadway musical Six, which is the poster child for “doing an anachronism to make the Notorious RBG crowd cheer”. 

In Six, Anne Boleyn is portrayed as a ditzy party girl who didn’t think anything could touch her until something manifestly did. She’s not into politics or long-term plots, she just wants to fuck around and have a good time. The creators cast her as a dumb popular chick in way over her head. 

Now, do I find that an enormously boring take on Anne Boleyn? Obviously. But the real question is why have they chosen these specific anachronisms? The phone, describing her letters with King Henry as “texting” and “replies”. It’s a sort of SNL take on history, lazily swapping courtier with influencer; her “lol”s and “sorry not sorry”s don’t bring you any closer to the emotional truth of her situation. 

(And before you say “but Six is a comedy!” it’s a: not really, and b: a musical that contains a harrowing song* about a woman’s experience of being sexually assaulted as a child, and then again at multiple points throughout her life**, so I do feel they had the range, had they chosen to reach for it.)

Dramatic anachronism, when employed well, gives us touch points to recognize. It renders a world that may feel alien as legible to a modern audience, who come in with their own associations and biases. And so the best anachronisms are specific.

“Wouldn’t it be kind of funny if Anne Boleyn was a party girl because she was a big deal in court and everyone had hard opinions on her?” That’s a sketch idea, not a thoughtful deployment of anachronism to deepen an audience’s understanding of what’s happening in front of them. 

Contrast with this famous shot from Sophia Coppola’s 2006 movie Marie Antoinette. 

Now, what is the point of those Chuck Taylors? What do they communicate to an audience, especially in the mid-aughts? What do they think of when they think of out of touch rich girls who spend all their time shopping and drinking and spoiling their little dogs and wearing pastel colored high tops? Oh right:

The movie is not asking: what if Anne Boleyn was sort of like a girl who shops at Revolve? It’s not even asking: what if Marie Antoinette was a girl like you, who probably owns high tops?

It’s asking, directly: what if Paris Hilton, someone you all already hate, with her baggage and inadequacy and shallowness and mean-spiritedness and humanity and probably genuine unhappiness -- what if she had an angry, starving, justified mob at her door, who blame her for something that is, in part, her fault. Would you feel sorry for her? I mean, people chase her around all the time in real life, and make her miserable, and she’s starving herself to death in front of us and everyone calls her a slut and an idiot. And maybe she, Paris Hilton, is an idiot. Anyway, focus on the screen: should this gluttonous, unprepared, wasteful, shallow Austrian woman be tormented unto her ultimate demise for being an idiot? 

That’s what successful, thoughtful anachronism does. It asks you to make connections between yourself and the past, your social impulses and the things that governed people long dead. It wants to help you recognize the ways that we are different and how in others we never change. 

It’s a powerful tool when employed directly, and I think it’s a huge bummer that writers rarely seem to understand that. 

--

*All You Wanna Do is the only number in the show that actually works, because they use the tee-hee pop princess conceit to pull the rug out from under you and reveal something genuinely horrible.

**Six has a tone problem. 

[harry-on-broadway]

Tying You to Me: Chapter One

Chapter One

Rating: M || Word Count: 2.2K || Series Masterlist 

April 2017

“The stuff we see in this job should entitle us to financial compensation for emotional damage.”

Quinn Roberts looked up from the papers she was sorting. “What is it this time?”

“Next week’s musical guest has their lunch order in their rider.”

“And???” Quinn silently cursed under her breath as she lost count of her stacks. Simultaneously sorting scripts and listening to Marcus complain was more difficult than it seemed. “That’s not so bad. Remember the one host who insisted on fresh water for their cat every hour on the hour? Or the one who was just a flat out jerk about everything”

“This isn’t demanding. It’s just gross,” Marcus sighed. “They want tuna salad and something called a ‘bullet coffee’ which, according to Google, is coffee, butter,” he paused, “and some sort of supplement.” He looked across the table at Quinn. “Whatever happened to iced coffee and a bagel?”

“You know how these Hollywood types are,” Quinn shot back, turning her attention to the next set of scripts. “They’ll spontaneously combust if they ingest a carb.”  

When she started her internship at Saturday Night Live four months ago, Quinn hadn’t anticipated that the majority of her job would consist of sorting papers.

Or that she would instantly become best friends with her fellow intern Marcus, who was putting in his time working in guest relations.

But things weren’t so bad. At least that’s what she reminded herself when she swiped into 30 Rock six days a week. She was one step closer to living her dream of being a real comedy writer, and she had already seen half of her favorite celebrities. Jimmy Fallon was even hosting this week. And though she considered herself to be more of a Seth Meyers girl, it was undeniably cool to see some of the biggest names in comedy and entertainment go through the paces of putting on a live show each week.

When she’d secured the spring internship after her final semester of college and been given the choice between working in the writer’s room or helping with musical guests, her brother had jokingly teased her for picking the nerdy writer’s room role over what he deemed to be the cooler job. But after worshiping at the altar of Tina Fey and Amy Poheler since she sneakily started watching SNL in the second grade, there was no way she could turn down her dream.

As she had imagined her time at 30 Rock over the years, she had always pictured herself rolling up to the iconic building in some chic outfit, with her iced coffee and canvas tote in hand. After seeing her talent early on, Sarah and Chris, the head writers, would take her to drinks at the Rainbow Room where she would pitch them on sketches before heading to a party with Amy, Cecily, and the rest of the cast.

The reality of her situation was much different. Rent in New York, even with four roommates, was astronomical, and dreams of the daily iced coffee and drinks at fancy bars were quickly replaced by her and Marcus raiding the breakroom and foraging for leftovers after table reads, hoping the cast wouldn’t notice a missing slice or two of pizza. Her high-fashion outfits were traded in for jeans, t-shirts, and Birkenstocks – the only uniform she could tolerate during the 18-hour days she and her fellow interns worked.

But every time her parents and brothers called, she didn’t tell them any of that, knowing it was simply the dues she had to pay to get where she wanted. A couple rough years would be a small price to pay for comedy fame.

Quinn started re-sorting the pages and Marcus continued to rant about the weird requests he’d seen over the past several weeks, determining that the two of them needed to make an official ranking at the end of their internship, before turning the conversation to what the two of them should have for lunch. As they were debating the pros and cons of Thai food versus burritos, they heard a knock at the door and instantly sat up straighter, making an effort to look more attentive, a dance all interns became familiar with, fearing that a supervisor could be just around the corner.

But much to Quinn and Marcus’ surprise, it wasn’t their supervisor at the door, but Harry Styles.

“Sorry to interrupt but I was told to come here and get a script?” He looked at them expectantly.

“Sure. What sketch are you looking for?” Quinn asked.

“Uh, I think it’s the Family Feud one?”

Quinn looked at the surface of the table before finding the pink pages that corresponded to that particular sketch. She offered them to Harry and tried not to stare at him as he stepped forward to claim them.

“Thanks,” he said, clearing his throat. “So, do you all like working here?”

Quinn and Marcus blinked slowly, then turned to look at each other. Hosts and musical guests were mostly nice but neither typically went out of their way to converse with interns.

“It’s nice,” Marcus said. “Sure beats an office job.”

“Yeah,” Quinn said in agreement. “It’s really cool to know you’re working somewhere with such a storied history. Like it still doesn’t feel real that I get to work here.”

“I bet,” Harry said. He locked eyes with Quinn and opened and closed his mouth in rapid succession, looking like he was about to say something. Quinn looked at him expectantly, before he turned on his heel, mumbled what sounded like “thank you,” and walked out the door.

“Well that was weird as fuck,” Marcus said.

“It was.”

“Was he in the Christian boy band, with the rings?”

“No,” Quinn said with a laugh. “That would be the Jonas Brothers. He was in One Direction.”

“Were you a fan?”

“Like…casually.”

“Like fuck you were casual. How many posters did you have and was there a cardboard cutout as well?”

Quinn laughed. “There was maybe one poster, and no cardboard cutouts. He wasn’t my favorite anyways.”

“Why? Not a fan of hunky dreamboats?”

“Marcus, you sound like my grandmother!”

“Well, she must be a wise woman.” Marcus looked at his watch. “It is almost time to eat and we haven't made a decision, so I will be going to get both Thai and burritos. You’ve got drinks and you know I like the Orange Fanta from the vending machine by the dressing rooms.”

As Marcus left the room, Quinn quickly finished her sorting and rose from her chair, stretching and feeling her back crack before walking to fetch her wallet from her cubicle. Once the change was procured, she walked towards the vending machines, taking her time and savoring the moments spent away from work.

Free to focus on something other than scripts, her thoughts turned to Harry. It still felt so bizarre that she was allowed to be so up close and personal with celebrities of his caliber. She felt giddy thinking about how excited her high school friends would be knowing she was an arm’s length away from their favorite singer. While she admittedly hadn’t been his biggest fan back in the day, she had to admit that he was much cuter in person. She rounded the corner, pleased to see that Marcus’ preferred soda was still available and as she placed the coins in the vending machine one at a time, a voice interrupted her again.

“Excuse me.”

She turned, and saw Harry Styles once again staring at her.

“Yes?”

He cleared his throat, which Quinn surmised was a nervous habit. “They said if I needed anything to just ask and I was wondering if it would be possible to get something to drink?”

Quinn looked around. She worked primarily with the writers and had never handled anything close to guest relations. That was Marcus’ department and Catrina usually worked face to face with the celebrities. Neither of them were there.

Quinn weighed her options. She could tell him to find someone else and risk getting in trouble with her supervisor, or she could take one for the team and cover for Catrina. She pulled her phone from the back pocket of her jeans and pulled up her text thread with Catrina, ready to tell her to come do her job. But as she typed out the text, she caught another glimpse of Harry out of the corner of her eye, and the almost bashful look on his face made her pocket her phone.

“What do you need?” she asked, swiftly reaching down to grab Marcus’ soda.

“Uh….some tea?”

“Are you sure about that?” Quinn said with a teasing smile.

“Yes?” Harry returned her grin.

“What kind? Hot or iced?”

“Hot green tea?”

Quinn had no idea where they stocked the items for guests and she searched her brain trying to remember if the break rooms had any green tea. “Give me one second and I can run out and get you some.”

“Oh, I can go with you,” Harry offered.

“That would kind of defeat the purpose of me getting it, right?”

“Oh, yeah.” Harry flushed.

“It’s not a problem. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

Quinn maneuvered around Harry and walked briskly down the hallway. She and Marcus only had a short period of time for lunch each day and she had not planned to spend a single second of it fetching tea for British singers.

But, there was that something about Harry – a strange mix of humility and confidence she’d picked up on in the brief moments they’d spent together – that made her say yes, so she figured running to the Starbucks in the concourse and grabbing a tea wouldn’t be too much trouble. She tossed Marcus’ soda on the table in their office and dashed to grab the elevator.

She rode down eight floors and bolted as soon as the doors opened, hooking a right and powering down the long hallway to Starbucks. As she was getting ready to round the last corner she came face to face with a crowd that she quickly determined was the line to order.

Fucking lunch rush and fucking tourists.

She craned her neck trying to count how many people were in front of her and stopped after she hit 22. She twirled one of her earrings between her forefinger and thumb, considering her plan. She could spend the rest of her lunch waiting in this line or she could try one of the 15 other coffee shops located on the block. But the time spent leaving the building would probably equal the time spent waiting in li –

“Hey, Quinn.”

She looked up to see Jacob, a barista she had befriended her first week at the show, wave to her from behind the counter. She waved back realizing she might have a solution. He gestured for her to meet him at the counter, and as she left her spot in line she heard the tourist behind her offer a not-so-gentle reminder that spots would not be saved.

“Do you need something?” Jacob asked.

“Yeah, a hot green tea.”

“Is this for…”Jacob trailed off and cocked his head, intimating that this drink was for one of the show’s guests.

“It is.”

“Be right back.”

Within 90 seconds, Quinn had a green tea in her hands, while Jacob had a $10 tip and a promise that he could attend a taping of a future episode. Quinn dodged the crowds once more and was back in the elevator before she knew it. When she got back to the eighth floor, she saw Marcus poking his head out of their workspace searching for her. When he saw the Starbucks cup in her hand, he frowned.

“I could have grabbed you a coffee if you wanted.”

“It’s not for me. It’s for Harry.” She paused as his name rolled off her tongue. She felt weird speaking about him with such familiarity, but Mr. Styles felt equally as bizarre.

Marcus raised his eyebrows. “Since when do you do drink runs for guests? Isn’t that the princess’ job?”

Quinn chuckled at the mention of their nickname for Catrina, who rarely expressed interest in anything other than her phone and had clearly scored her internship through nepotism. “She wasn’t around and he saw me so I offered to go.”

“Mmmhmm.”

“That’s what happened!”

“I’m not challenging you, but you do sound a little defensive.” He grinned as Quinn playfully glared back. “Go give the man his tea and come back quickly. They gave us extra chips and guac.”

Quinn stepped around Marcus only for Harry to seemingly appear out of nowhere. She stretched out her hand, offering the tea. “One hot green tea.” She paused. “Well, it was hot. It might just be warm now.”

Harry chuckled. “I think I’ll survive.” He took a sip, and looked at Quinn. “Thanks again…” He stopped, searching for her name.

“Quinn.”

“Thanks again, Quinn.”

“Not a problem.”

She held eye contact and, once again, it looked like Harry had something more to say, but instead he silently lifted his cup to Marcus, who mockingly doffed an invisible cap in return.

“I said it once and I’ll say it again,” Marcus said softly as Harry walked down the hallway. “That was fucking weird.”

***

Author’s note: Thank you so much for reading! This was just a quick glimpse into Quinn and Harry’s world, but I can say with certainty that future chapters will be much longer. Big thanks to @sunnyville36 for the header image and being such a great cheerleader. If you have any thoughts, theories, or questions, don’t hesitate to send an ask -- I’d love to chat!  

talk to me! || join the taglist! || story inspo

taglist: @whitechocolaterry @rivercran @laur-sogolden @oh-honey-styles @nevertoooldtodancelikeamaniac @tbslhrry @andwhenshesays @haute-romance-quotidienne @hslllot @luvonstyles @woody32271 @ambee789 @very-berry-harry @last-saturday-night @confusedbanshee @kakaym​

[betweenthescarletmoon]

Maaza Mengiste has written the most wonderful, gorgeous, treasured, poetic, profound article I have ever read, and i am so glad she spilled all those words to tell us an actually riveting and fascinating (and even subtly heartbreaking) story of Oscar Isaac's life. I want to read everything she has written.

Everyone check out her Esquire article about Oscar, it feels like a dream from how all-encompassing and immersive it is.

I'm gonna talk about it a bit so read it before getting spoiled by me.

I feel like this article, unlike literally any other piece of content or media about him, gave me such meaty psychological information, about how he thinks, about how his experiences shaped him, about what he believes, about how he copes. It was a story interweaved with so much care, so much tenderness as it was putting his life out for all the world to see. I can tell that a man as charming, as funny even during his grieving process (like during the Hamlet theatre set in between rehearsals), perhaps as proud and private as Óscar, felt comfortable for the first time to dig deep into things that he had all the right to keep to his chest.

Of course, there's another article (and perhaps a few more) that mentions some of these important parts of his life, but there's something about Maaza, who absorbs these stories. She analyzes them. She explores his psyche behind his words, and shows what she finds to us. It's so entrancing.

It clarifies the mystery to me, about how he depends on his characters, on these really intense months with new co-stars or co-theatre-actors, to truly feel and process all the wonders and tragedies that life throws at us. It explains why he plays characters with so many struggles (many of them struggles of loss, particularly the loss of parents, or of childhood trauma), and why he says that each of them represents a part of him that lies dormant, waiting to be triggered or awoken by a different situation in life. It explains why he plays Hamlet, and Jonathan Levy, and Llewyn Davis, and Marc Spector, who all hold so much resentment yet so much longing towards their parents, these parents who either are in the process of slipping from these men's hands, or have died already.

The detachment, the outsider-complex, the mixed and complex identity, the chaotic and unstable life of moving and moving and moving, the trauma of death and new life happening at the very same time, all feed this need to bury oneself into someone else, just for a while. To get to know this other someone, to discover all their different intonations and emotions and behavior and dreams and fears. To connect with this someone else that is inhabiting your body, in an indirect, third-person way. Disconnecting from your soul to watch yourself from the outside. Learning about who you are (or could be) from a safe place.

I do this in writing all the time. It's truly a normal thing, to wish to get lost in something, in art, to see yourself through that because you can't understand your identity on your own. It may not be the healthiest coping mechanism in the world, but it's a human response. To twist the chaos of your life, the confusion of your pain, into a story. Into a character. Even into a celebrity. (Am i doing that right now? Perhaps.)

I just hope to keep analyzing that and arriving at a safer, healthier place myself. To resolve things internally, and grieve, instead of choosing to escape. To show who i am to safe loved ones instead of recurring to comedy as an armor. To try to explore myself, rather than explore someone else. I hope we all learn to do this. I hope óscar does too. He deserves to find himself.

[hangovercurse]

Live from New York

You’re hosting SNL and get close with one of the cast members

Request: “hi! can you do something about pete where the reader is hosting snl and throughout the week they’re flirting with each other but she’s unsure if they should date and he convinces her? maybe a combo of fluff/angst/smut? it can be whatever :,)”

Pete x Reader

Warnings: Cursing

A/N: I told myself I wasn’t going to take that long on this one and then I ended up watching an entire documentary on the making of an SNL episode because I wanted to be as accurate as possible… someone stop me pls

Word Count: 2834

Monday

Despite being a swiftly rising actress, you hated being the enter of attention. You’d always gotten anxious as a kid when a teacher made you stand in front of the class for presentations or during first-day introductions. So being front and center in a room of 30 people who were all there to study and try to impress you was not something you found pleasant.

“Hi, I’m Y/N Y/L/N.” You spoke timidly to the crowded room, people clapping from their spots on the floor or various couches around the room, “it’s great to be here.”

Lorne cleared his throat, “alright, let’s start with you, Anna.”

You looked around the room as a young woman pitched the first sketch of the night, listening intently to her ideas while trying to match faces with the names Lorne had given you earlier. Then your eyes locked with a pair of deep brown ones, the man wearing a soft smile on his face. He radiated gentle energy despite the tattoos you could see running down his arms.

The pitches continued with an air of lightheartedness and fun. You found nearly everything funny, so you couldn’t even begin to imagine how you were going to cut any of the sketch pitches.

After a lull in ideas, Lorne announced that cast members could now pitch ideas for Weekend Update character appearances. The man you’d taken an interest in earlier, who you’d since learned was named Pete Davidson, pitched a new set of characters for you and him.

“You know those weird stoner kids in high school who were always hanging out in the parking lot and acted really weird and mysterious? Those characters who just give really vague answers to anything you ask and act like they’ve seen some shit when they have the most normal home lives.”

You giggled, knowing the exact kinds of kids he was talking about. Colin and Michael also chuckled, writing the idea down with some notes of their own. Soon after that, everyone went back to pitching regular sketches, Jost and Che pitching an unusual number of sketches featuring you and Pete.

After a few long hours, the session wrapped; everyone leaving the office space except for you and Lorne, “so, what did you think?”

You chuckled lightly, “you have some seriously talented people on this show, Mr. Michaels. I don’t understand how you guys write an entire show every week.”

“We all work very hard; I’ll tell you that. Now, talk to me. Anything you really liked or really hated?”

You shrugged, “you’re the comedy mastermind, I know nothing. But I thought that weird kids from high school bit was pretty funny.”

Lorne nodded, “So did Jost and Che it seems. Sometimes the kid has a good idea.” You giggled at his reference to Pete as “the kid.” He sighed, “anything else? I noticed you liked that proposal sketch.”

“Yeah, that one was super funny. I will say, I wasn’t too in love with the dad-teacher one, but I would have no problem with it being done with someone else as the daughter.”

Lorne and you spent the rest of the workday discussing the different sketch ideas that came up and gauging what type of comedy suited you best. Before you left, he introduced you to Donna, your dresser who would be helping you out throughout the week.

Tuesday

After a quick tour of the studio by Donna, you were given a list of cast members and writers who wanted to meet with you to get ideas about sketches. You first stepped into a small room with a desk and futon, Donna introducing you to Chloe Fineman and Celeste Yim.

Chloe smiled brightly at you, “okay, so we were thinking that we could do something where I bring you to a sleepover with some friends that you don’t know. But at some point, you try to go to sleep because you have a soccer tournament in the morning but everyone else is being loud and it turns into this big overdramatic argument.”

You giggled softly, “I love that!”

After writing with them for a while, you were whisked away to room after room, finally landing in Colin Jost and Michael Che’s office, where they were hunched over a computer with Pete.

Colin smiled at you, “hey Y/N, how’s your day been?”

“Busy, how are you guys?”

The men responded with variations of “good,” before Michael spoke, “I know it’s late, so don’t feel obligated to stay longer than you’re comfortable with.”

You shrugged, “what time is it? It doesn’t feel that late.”

Pete laughed, teasing Colin and Michael, “c’mon guys, don’t you know that the young people of New York don’t sleep?”

You giggled in agreement as Colin frowned, “I’m only 38, that’s not that old.”

“I’m only 26, Colin,” you said, laughing at the men.

Michael patted Colin on the shoulder, “Jost, we’re getting old.”

Colin frowned before clearing his throat, “anyways, we had a couple ideas for some sketches with you and Pete, if you’re up for it, and we wanted to hash out your weekend update appearance.”

You smiled and nodded, “yeah, that sounds great.”

The rest of the night (and into the early morning) was spent with the three men, eventually joined by Heidi Gardner and Kyle Mooney to work them into the scripts. A majority of the writing process was simply messing around with various sketch situations until someone found a joke that worked best.

Pete watched you carefully the entire night, doing everything in his power to make you laugh. You had no complaints, doing your best to not openly flirt with him in front of the rest of the cast (and failing quite miserably).

Wednesday

Wednesday was the designated day for the roundtable readthrough. You took a place between Pete and Lorne, who began the reading, “we’ve got 41 sketches so let’s get started.”

The table read was just like any other you’d been through; Lorne wasting no time between sketches to discuss or joke. You struggled with containing your laughter throughout the reading, trying to act professionally. It didn’t help that Pete was making jokes any chance he got, eliciting even more giggles from you.

The three hours seemed to take no time at all as sketch after sketch was read out loud. Every so often you would catch Lorne looking at you with an eyebrow raised, usually after you read one of the sketches with Pete.

After everyone was dismissed, you were led to Lorne’s office with the head writers and producers. There was a large wall covered in sticky notes with each sketch’s name written on one. Lorne turned to you, “what do you think?”

You scanned the wall, listing off some of the sketches that you really liked, though most of them were  great, so you had trouble narrowing them down.

Lorne let out a small laugh, “you guys noticed how she picked out the sketches with Pete in them, too, right?”

Your face went hot, immediately turning to face the ground. Colin and Michael chuckled, “we noticed,” the latter commented.

“There’s nothing wrong with it, Y/N, just wanted to point it out to you.” Lorne teased before turning back to the wall and thinking.

You giggled, “you guys suck.”

As embarrassed as you were, your anxiety was surprisingly low. You had been worried about hosting since you got the invite, but the cast and crew had been nothing but kind to you. Even just being able to make jokes like this with the writers made you feel oddly comforted.

You worked on narrowing down which sketches to keep for rehearsals and which ones were going to get cut immediately, a job that was very easy for Lorne but very difficult for you.

Eventually you got it down to enough sketches that Lorne was satisfied and he sent out the list to the cast. He led you out of his office, “you know, you have a real affinity for comedy,” he told you. “I don’t know if you’ve ever thought about sketch comedy, but from that read through you seem to know what you’re doing.”

You blushed slightly, thanking him, “we’ll see if you’re still saying that on Saturday.”

He chuckled, “have a good night.” You waved at him as you walked towards the exit, running into none other than Pete Davidson.

“Hey, you headed out?”

You smiled, “yeah, just got out of my meeting with Lorne. Did you get a chance to look at the revised sketch schedule?”

Pete nodded, walking with you to the door of the theater, “yeah, I noticed you kept a lot of our sketches in there,” he bumped your shoulder, a playful smirk on his face.

A giggle rolled from your lips, “what can I say? We’re funny together.”

He raised an eyebrow, watching as you flagged down your taxi, “whatever you say.”

“Are you complaining about having to work with me?” You asked, opening the door.

He chuckled, “oh yeah. I am just dreading tomorrow.” Sarcasm laced his words, making you laugh.

“Goodnight, Pete.”

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

Thursday

Donna ushered you around all day, making sure you were in the rehearsal space when you needed to be and supporting you from the side. This part of the process came naturally to you, as it was the most similar to rehearsing and filming on movie sets.

When you weren’t rehearsing a scene, you were hanging out with Pete. It was strange how easily you got along, your humors aligning almost perfectly. Not to mention he was a huge flirt and was making it more and more obvious with you. You flirted right back, earning looks of amusement from Lorne throughout the day.

The day was a whirlwind, and by the time you were able to go home, you were exhausted. Pete walked you out to the street again, talking about one of the sketches that went wrong earlier until your taxi pulled up. This time he opened the door for you and helped you inside, “see you tomorrow.”

You smiled up at him, “bright and early.”

Friday

After hours of rehearsing, you plopped onto the couch in Pete’s dressing room, where you had found yourself a home over the past few days, “I don’t know how you guys do this every week. I’ve been here for four days and I’m exhausted.”

Pete chuckled, “to be fair, you’re the host. The key is to try and only get one sketch into the show so that you don’t have to do anything during the week.”

You laughed, letting a comfortable silence fall over you. Pete studied you, taking in your tired appearance, “you’re doing great though, being a host. I’ve seen some people come in and try to take control of everything and then no one has fun. You’re really good at just letting the comedy speak for itself. Not many people do that.”

Shrugging, you responded, “I mean, I’m not a comedian, I’m just an actor. You guys come up with everything. I don’t know enough to try and control things around here, I just do what I can to make your visions come to life. I figured that’s what a host should do.”

Pete nodded, “yeah, but again, a lot of people want their SNL episode to look a certain way. You don’t seem to care.”

“I just want to have fun, honestly.”

He smirked, “are you?”

You looked up to him with a smile on your face, “definitely.”

Suddenly the speaker in the room rang out, “Y/N and Pete to main stage 1.”

Groaning, you lifted yourself from the couch, Pete watching you with amusement, “c’mon Ms. Host, we’ve got a show to rehearse.”

Saturday

The day was hectic; filled with rehearsal after rehearsal. Lorne and Donna made sure that you were comfortable all day, but you could feel the stress radiating from every inch of the studio.

Stronger than that, though, was the sense of excitement buzzing around everyone. You were fit into more costumes than you could count, all leading up to the final dress rehearsal of the night in front of the live studio audience.

Dress ran smoothly, but you could see Lorne cutting lines from sketches from stage out of the corner of your eye. Luckily, Pete distracted you from all the anxious energy. “I know Lorne looks like a psychopath, but that’s just what he does. Everything’s fine, don’t stress about it,” he said over dinner.

You chuckled, “thanks. I feel so out of my league this week.”

“I told you, you’re great. Everyone here loves you. I heard Lorne talking about wanting you back as soon as possible.”

Rolling your eyes, you responded, “yeah right, I’m never gonna do anything big enough to get me on this show again.”

Pete laughed, “you could always make guest appearances with me on the Weekend Update.”

“You aren’t sick of me already?” you joked.

After dinner you were paraded around by Donna, who got you into your style for opening monologue. She smiled at you through your dressing room mirror, “how are you feeling?”

You gave her a nervous smile, “terrified, but ready.”

The lady chuckled, “you’ll do great. I’ll be right offstage if you need anything.”

“Thank you, for everything this week.”

She squeezed your shoulders, “don’t mention it, though if you really want to thank me, go ask that Davidson boy out on a date.”

Your eyes went wide, “Donna!”

A chuckle rang out through the room, “what? I say it for your own good.”

She led you through a maze of hallways and tunnels until you were in place to walk onstage, the speaker announcing your name to the audience followed by cheers.

Exactly 90 minutes later you were gathered with the cast on stage, “thank you to Fletcher, Lorne Michaels, this amazing cast and crew, and thank you all for watching. Goodnight everybody!”

You turned to Pete, who was standing beside you and let him pull you in for a hug, “you did it!” he cheered.

You passed around the cast, giving hugs to as many people as you can before Lorne announced, “that’s a wrap on Y/N Y/L/N and Fletcher!”

Everyone cheered, clapping for you and your musical guest before heading to their dressing rooms to change into their night clothes. You went back to your own dressing room, taking a moment to bask in the feeling of accomplishment.

A knock on your door pulled you out of your haze, “come in!”

Pete entered the room, a wide smile on his face, “congrats!” You let him pull you in for another hug, “so I know that there’s supposed to be this big party after the show, but I was wondering if you’d let me take you to dinner instead?”

Your breath got caught in your throat, those words being the last thing you expected to hear from him. Of course, you wanted to say yes because you did, truthfully, really like him. But part of you was hesitant.

You’d dated your fair share of celebrities, and things always ended very publicly and typically poorly. On top of that, you couldn’t help but feel that this might be happening a bit too quick. You started to doubt that he would still have feelings for you in a week since he wouldn’t be around you nearly all the time.

And then there was the issue of your insane work schedules. Having just lived through his, you weren’t sure if you would be able to keep a relationship like that.

“Pete, I think you’re amazing and I really like you, I just-“

Pete nodded his head, cutting you off, “I know we only met like a couple of das ago, but people go on dates with literal strangers all the time.”

You sighed, “it’s not that, Pete, it’s just that…” you paused, searching for words, “things like this tend to be very public with me, and I really don’t want to have a relationship where there’s all this pressure by the media to be perfect.”

He shrugged, “I get that, but it’s just dinner. And we can go somewhere quiet and private, no one has to know. And if things go further then we’ll just keep it on the down low until you’re ready. Trust me, I know what a public relationship is like, I’m not a huge fan either.”

“Yeah, but what about your work schedule. I mean, I’ve only lived in your world for six days and I want to sleep for a month. How do you even hold a relationship on this schedule?”

Pete moved closer to you, fingers grazing your arm, “we can make it work. I promise. Just give me one date, and if it’s not the best first date of your life, you have no further obligations to me.”

You giggled lightly, leaning into his touch, “I’m only saying yes because you’re kinda cute.”

He smiled down at you, eyes twinkling, I’ll take it.”

[hugh-lauries-bald-spot]

garashir

Who is more likely to hurt the other: *drumroll* JULIAN!!! why do i think this??? cause garak is comfortable with him, its been years and only now does he finally feel safe, and with safety comes ✨resurfacing abandonment issues✨, garak couldnt hurt him!! julian, on the other hand has duties, morals, if he absolutely needed to, he would hurt garak for the greater good, to garak, the greatest good there is is julian.

Who is emotionally stronger: this is like the "which is heavier, a pound of feathers or a pound of gold" there both such traumatized bitches with bad coping mechanisms so i dont think the answer is black or white because theres a diaspora of different ways you need to consider both of their lives and experiences before even TACKLING this question

Who is physically stronger: i think it's julian because of the augment stuff in theory but in practice its garak, julian only uses his augmented strength in dire situations (or if hes drunk and needs a neat party trick), but garak is the one who like moves their furniture or does hand to hand combat because julians role in the marriage (regardless of their marital status) is to sit there looking pretty

More likely to break a bone: julian, mans is built like a twig (affectionate) and also just gives of weak bitch energy (affectionate) whereas garak... like could you REALLY actually fight garak and cause any damage?? like ik he gets punched repeatedly (comedy) but in an actual scenario? doubtful

Who knows the best way to upset the other: oh so foreplay i think they both always try and upstage the other in terms of annoyance, garak being an intelligence agent picked up on what annoys or ticks julian off but he doesnt have the unparalleled cringefail energy of Julian Subatoi Bashir, besides riling up garak is step one to a fun night for those two ;)

Who is most likely to apologise first after an argument: julian. you think Elim "Certifiably Petty" Garak is gonna be the FIRST to apologise?? no way. hell apologise eventually but in a really... garak way ykwim?? subtly admitting hes wrong and with a shit eating grin or smt

Who treats who's wounds more often?: i mean julian obviously, the fondly calling garak idiot in an exasperated way, a soft kiss on the hand as hes convalescing and the like, but if julian so much as stubs his toe garak is preparing a quadrant wide ban on furniture

Who is in constant need of comfort?: Theyre both cuddly and sweet and kinda codependent sometimes, but garak IS a lizard man and a heat seeking missile and hes gotten the taste of love and will be damned if he loses it

Who gets more jealous: Garak is jealous more often and is super vengeful, like you even LOOK at julian in an inviting way and its a gambit to see if you live through the night. but BUT i love jealous julian with my whole heart and have a great many opinions and scenarios if anyone wants em

Who's more likely to walk out on the other: see question one i mean julian has a whole life, a career and, again, a moral code to adhere to, and if need be he WILL leave garak

Who will propose: *alec baldwin voice* i was just thinking about this and i think its *drumroll* JULIAN cause garak wont actually believe julian wants to be with him forever, hell think julian feels like he has to say yes because hes compassionate and too good for this world, so he wont object. Garak feels like hell be coercing julian and since he refuses to hurt him, julian knows its up to him (but of course garak is the kind of gay whos had his wedding planned since he was 7 but figured due to his job and general unlovability in his opinion, a dream was all it was) (note: the alec baldwin thing is an snl reference)

Who has the most difficult parents: REALLY??? i mean both of their parents are so bad, so abusive, and so deserving of being shoved out of an airlock with no mercy. they both did similar things to their kids, changing them, breaking them and rebuilding them in a more suitable vision in their eyes, and without either kid's consent! tain(t)'s abuse may seem worse because he completely used his son while not even acknowledging his paternity, and so one might think that thats the natural decision, but lets not breeze past physically changing a person they deemed unworthy of even a *CHANCE* and completely psychologically remaking them.

Who initiates hand-holding in public: Julian, usually. hes a generally touchy person and physical contact is natural, easy, he does it with as much thought as blinking. garak initiates sometimes, but thats just if someone is ogling his husband and he needs to show them hes accounted for.

Who comes up for the other all the time: i dont actually understand this question but this is how i interpret it, i think garak just randomly pops up in med bay all the time, just like "oops i stapled my hand, why dont you tenderly caress it while addressing my wound and fondly calling me an idiot.", julian is usually pretty busy what with saving lives and whatnot so garak is more than happy to visit him

Who hogs the blankets?: lizard man, i know this because as a person who is always cold i in fact need a nest. julian, the furnace of the relationship, is happy to keep his husband warm tho and usually ends up the little spoon anyway, and if its really THAT cold hell just replicate some fleece pajamas

Who gets more sad: garak. mans has 99 problems and bitches are several of them, whether the bitch is ptsd, panic attacks, body image troubles, his dad, his mom, just plain old missing cardassia, i mean hes lived a life and most of it sucked balls, what can i say

Who is better at cheering the other up: julian the sunshine man, of course! hes his husband's doctor, he knows about his troubles and has many ways of helping! he reminds garak to take his meds, hes got healthy habits to help engrain in their routine, hes got a smile made of honey and sugar and love, hes warm and knows that garak just needs a hug, most of the time and maybe a shoulder to cry on when nobody is around

Whos the one who playfully slaps the other all the time after they make silly jokes: garaks silly jokes are usually subtle, vaguely threatening and very dark no matter who hes around (if youve seen nbc hannibal thats basically what i mean), and julian has to remind his feral murder husband to have some tact once in a while, and a slap on the arm or an elbow to the side usually does the trick

Who is more streetwise: julian is younger but also chronically cringe and swagless (affectionate), garak, who was in intelligence, is a gossiper, and has many sources of information, knows whats a la mode and what will be a trend given time, even if he wont partake in it (julian will but he cant wash the cringefail energy from his every action)

Who is more wise: garak has more life experience but is very very cynical, and thats not always the correct way to go. his advice really only applies to him and situations similar to the ones hes been in. julian's is more hopeful, but thats because of his nature and profession, he deals with life or death in front of him in the day to day and garak's cynicism would be a terrible course of action. so when it comes to wisdom, i really think it depends on what you're dealing with that requires either of their advice, but hypothetically, you should ask them both and maybe mix the answers

Who is the shyest: garak. julian is actually, genuinely personable and nice, garak is only cordial but its so clear he wants to die every time he speaks to another person (social anxiety, can relate)

Who boasts about the other more: good god they both think the other is just the hottest, sexiest, sweetest, best lay in history and they WILL tell you about it. i suppose since julian has like no professionalism with like the entire senior staff hell just bring garak up all the time and just blather for hours but when given any opportunity garak WILL talk about julian like a teenager about their first partner and his compliments are plentiful and they all sound like hes praising the moon and stars themselves

Who sits on whos lap: Julian "Trophy Husband" Bashir, and he LOVES it. he LOVES sitting on garak's lap at social functions, at home, in front of miles to make him uncomfortable (garak and bashir will just make direct eye contact with him and smirk). Julian knows hes a pretty twink and is happy to sit in his man's lap and display it.

*SHARP INTAKE OF BREATH* thats all folks

[mermaidsirennikita]

Jason Sudeikis had a image rehab? Why? I only started registering him with Ted Lasso and now with all the drama with Olivia Wilde and thier kids

It wasn't anything huge, but Ted Lasso, imo, made a lot of people identify him with Ted Lasso--super wholesome, bargain basement Coach Eric Taylor (Kyle Chandler >>>>), the "ragtag team of soccer players/entertainers" thing. And I think that was preceded somewhat by him settling down with Olivia and having two kids.

But before Olivia and honestly... probably during... Jason has a reputation for comedy that was a bit raunchier? Which, like, there's nothing wrong it, it's just nothing like Ted Lasso. He was the Sardonic Guy with a tiny bit of an edge on SNL. He was very "bro". He hosted the MTV Movie Awards (which is where I believe he made the "I might be a dad soon" joke about January, the one that makes me think he almost definitely isn't her baby's father) he was in some fairly racy movies (Sleeping with Other People, Horrible Bosses, to a lesser extent We're the Millers). Ted Lasso is barely a comedy in that it's more "feel good/inspirational"; Jason was a raunch com guy. He came up with the class of like, Kristen Wiig and Andy Samberg (who imo was never quite as edgy~, tbh) and Fred Armisen. Fred Armisen I want to point out... Because Fred and Jason are or at least were pretty tight on SNL. And Fred has been referred to by women he's dated and himself as like... Kinda pretty awful to be with. Not saying that means Jason is that way, but since people on the internet seem to assume that being vaguely associated with someone means you're fundamentally the same person as them, it's weird to me that Jason doesn't get this treatment. It's almost like people only do that when they have other, more arbitrary reasons to hate someone!

Anyway, Jason was known as kind of a dog in Hollywood, and that did not change, from what the rumor mill says, when he got with Olivia. He allegedly began dating a younger Ted Lasso employee/coworker (idk the exact deal, but I know she worked on the show) while he was with Olivia, and named the character of Keeley after her. A lot of people reported that they began dating in 2021, after he and Olivia broke up--but a lot of articles actually report them dating "again" in 2021, which suggests it started earlier. Might I add, Jason had known Keeley since filming Horrible Bosses 2. Which was released in 2014. Make of that what you will.

I'm not saying that Olivia didn't leave Jason for Harry.... I don't know the timeline there, and frankly, it's funny to think of Ted Lasso getting cucked by Harry Styles. But I don't think that was a situation where she shot first, if you know what I'm saying.

The thing is that Olivia is another one of those people that I don't like. But for the second time today I say I don't have to like you to be fair. She's been subjected to some really intense sexism from the Harries, who are now co-opting Florence Pugh (not a woman without bad decisions herself, might I add) as their righteous victim to come down on Olivia. Because she's fucking the guy they either wanna fuck, or they wanna see fuck Louis Tomlinson. It has nothing to do with her dating her star (something I can think of like... an outrageous amount of male directors doing over the history of cinema, without anyone caring). It has nothing to do with whatever hypothetical feud she may or may not have broiling with Florence Pugh, a concept that has been derived largely from an absence of social posts. It has nothing to do with whatever she may or may not have done to Jason Sudeikis, which we don't know about beyond rumors and whatever bullshit he pulled to make their damage more public. It comes down to an obsession with Harry Styles.

[cocosstories]

Pete Davidson One Shot

Hi! Could you do working over at pete's and accidentally getting snowed in and having to stay over? And finding out he has a crush on you too?

It was freezing when you finally got to Pete's door and he let you in.

"Here, let me help you with some of that."

He says as he takes some of the things out of your hands and sets them on the counter.

You were one of the assistants on SNL and had been sent to Pete's to go over stuff for the final few shows of the season.

"Thanks, it was getting pretty heavy."

You smile as you shake your hands, trying to get the feeling to come back.

"No problem. Hey, you want some tea or something?"

He asks, heading to the kitchen.

"Yes, please."

He nods and starts the water and you sit down in front of the paper work and begin sifting through it.

"Alright so Lorne wanted me to make sure you knew he was looking for at least two new music videos by the end of the season. The second one being for the finale."

You begin going over all of the notes you had gotten in the morning staff meeting just as he sets a hot cup of tea in front of you.

"Yeah, I've been working on a few just so we have options. I'll have them ready by next week for sure."

Pete takes a seat on the empty chair next to you and begins looking through some of the sketches you had brought.

Being in such a close proximity to him, you shift uncomfortably in your seat, trying not to make it too obvious.

"You good?"

He looks over to you with slight concern.

"Yeah, um I'm fine. Just still cold I guess."

You shrug and take a sip of your tea.

Pete watches you for a second before getting up and grabbing one of his hoodies from his closet.

"Here, this should help."

You smile as you take it and put it on.

"Thanks."

A few hours and a ton of work later, you are finally through everything Lorne had sent with you and ready to leave.

"Oh. Your sweatshirt."

You say as you remember you are still wearing it.

"Nah. It's cool. Just get it back to me whenever."

He says, stopping you from taking it off.

"Um Pete?"

You say as you try to open the door but are unable to from the amount of snow that has built up against it.

"Oh shit. Well, it looks like we are stuck here for a while."

Pete tries and fails to push the door open, finally giving up a few minutes into his efforts.

"So what? I just have to stay the night?"

You ask as you mentally flip off the universe for putting you in this situation.

For years, you had crushed on Pete, watching him go from relationship to relationship. Your friends and coworkers had always told you to just go for it but you never thought he would even look twice at you.

"Oh come on Y/N, it won't be that bad, I have food and all sorts of movies. And hey, at least the power is still on."

He says and no more than a minute later, the lights go out.

"You just had to say it didn't you?"

You sigh with a slight laugh at the pure comedy of the situation.

"Hold on, I think I have a flashlight somewhere."

He laughs then goes in search for a source of light while you stay close to the door.

A few minutes later, Pete returns with two flashlights in hand and gives you one.

"Well, I guess we should get comfortable huh?"

He says as he points his towards the couch which was a bit more visible with the candles he had lit on the coffee table.

"Yeah. Comfortable."

You mumble under your breath as you follow him and sit down on the opposite side.

"You know, I don't bite."

He says breaking a long silence, pointing his flashlight at your face.

You shield your eyes from the bright light.

"No, but you do smell."

You joke, trying to hide the desire to be close to him.

He scoffs.

"You know you want me."

Your head jerks up with his comment. You had always tried to make sure Pete never knew about your feelings for him, always feeling as though he could never return the feelings anyway so there really was no point.

"That was a joke."

Pete says after you don't say anything back.

"Joke, right. Yeah I know."

Your heart begins to beat faster as Pete moves closer to you, worried that he has upset or offended you in some way.

You don't look at him, instead you stare at your hands in your lap, picking at your fingernails until he places on of his on top of yours to stop you.

"Y/N, what's going on?"

He asks quietly, feeling your small hands shake under his big ones.

"You do like me."

It was more of a statement than a question with a touch of surprise added into his tone.

Still unable to look at him, you just nod feeling foolish to even have the feelings in the first place.

Pete lightly lifts your chin so your eyes meet his.

"I like you too."

Despite the sincere smile you can see through the flicker of candlelight, you search his eyes for any sign of the punchline to the crude joke you were sure he was playing.

"Y/N, did you hear me? I like you too."

He says again as you just stare at him.

"I heard you, I just don't know if I believe you."

He sighs and looks at you, frustrated.

"Why don't you believe me?"

"You're Pete Davidson and I'm just plain old me."

You shrug.

"There is nothing plain about you."

He lightly brushes a stray strand of hair from your face and behind your ear before easily pulling you towards him to meet his lips.

The kiss ends a few minutes later, both feeling sparks fly around the room as the feelings you had long tried to hide from one another were now finally, out in the open.

[merakiui]

idol au anon inspired me to send some of my own hcs so here we go~

Xiao is definitely a producer imo! I don’t see him as someone who would want to be up and performing, however he’s probably very popular and sought after in the industry. I think he’d be signed with one of the biggest companies and probably work with really famous groups.

Scara is a soloist (maybe he was in a group but split from them) and has probably had his fair share of scandals in his career due to his attitude and general personality, but I also believe he has his way of getting out of it, mostly because it’s pretty clear that he doesn’t give a damn about what the media thinks. He believes that they should focus on his music (which is top tier btw) rather than him as a person. He doesn’t use this as an excuse to be horrible, though, and I can definitely see him as being the type to take situations on by himself rather than letting the company deal with it. He probably also defends fans and other idols if needed (like if they’re swarmed by an aggressive crowd or being attacked online) and has definitely called out sasaengs on multiple occasions. Another hc is that he takes great pride in producing his own music and concepts so he gets as little help as possible.

Tbh i don’t really see Zhongli being an idol, but he could be the leader of a group. He’d probably be the lead vocalist if that was the case. Otherwise, he could be a manager or even the CEO of a company. Maybe the one Xiao works for?

Childe is DEFINITELY an idol in a group. Often in the center, he’d probably be a vocalist as well and/or main dancer. He’s really popular as well as he interacts with fans all the time and always knows how to create the right mood for whichever song they’re performing. He’s just got the natural charisma for it. I also see him as being an actor on the side. However, he’s also one of the idols where a lot of fans believe that he puts on an front a lot.

Maybe I should actually start writing instead of sending asks all the time whoops...

Omg I hope cookie anon reads this! They were the one who sent in the idol au idea for Scaramouche.

I’ve seen a few modern au concepts where Xiao is a gamer or a twitch streamer. But as an idol I definitely agree with what you wrote. There’s no way he’d get up on a stage and perform in front of so many people. But he does have talent! I think he’d compose a lot of instrumentals for popular bands and groups. He’s probably done some solo work in the past, such as releasing music that captures his edgy aesthetic. If you’ve heard Takayan’s music and lyrics, that might be a genre he typically enjoys. Maybe even the aesthetic that Corpse Husband’s music has.

Scaramouche would definitely love working alone with little to no help at all! He tends to get a lot of fans because of his appearance and music style. Some even fall for his personality, too. But he’s mainly focused on putting out music that he enjoys making. He doesn’t care about the public’s opinion of him, but he does care about his fans. Scaramouche is often very vocal of his disapproval of stans or creepy sasaengs, saying that they can enjoy his music and his personality as an artist but he draws the line when they tweet strange things at him or try to find personal information about him.

I think Scaramouche also puts out some edgy music, too! But it’s nowhere near as edgy or solemn as Xiao’s music. He strikes me as the type who likes to play around with instrumentals a lot and will sometimes release an instrumental he likes, as he doesn’t want to ruin it with lyrics. His lyrics tend to be very meaningful when you look beyond the ‘teenage angst’ and pity parties; and as a result of that his fans like to find the hidden meanings in his lyrics (and occasionally in his PVs if he ends up doing one to go along with a song).

Zhongli is like the emergency member who’ll provide sounds or a few quick chords if the group is having trouble thinking. But I see him as being a manager for one of those idol groups; maybe he often works alongside Xiao, who tends to be put in charge as a spare manager in case one of the idols gets into a scandal. Sometimes Xiao will watch them as a bodyguard (or just moral support) to make sure they don’t stir up more trouble. Looking at Venti ahem.

Speaking of Venti, he is definitely an idol. Either he works with a group or he does it solo. His music genre is usually light and airy, always happy and sweet. Although if you strain to hear specific chord progressions you’ll find that the melody is often on the verge of becoming melancholic. His lyrics are also oddly sentimental, too, and that causes his fans to get emotional when he sings certain songs over a happy beat. Due to the fact that Venti likes to drink, he often gets caught by tabloids and fans when he tries to be sneaky. This leads to a strict scolding from his manager and he usually winds up in Xiao’s company as a result. The two of them seem like strangers at first, due to Xiao’s inability to socialize, but eventually they bond over their mutual love of music.

Childe does have the makings of a perfect idol: attractive face and body, confidence and charisma, and the brightest smile the world’s ever seen. He knows he’s got all of these assets and he uses them to their fullest potential. If he wasn’t an actor, I could see him as a model for specific clothing lines or other brands. Sometimes you’ll see him promote the newest luxury brand and sometimes he’ll be promoting something as simple as toothpaste. Either way, his fans eat it up every time. As a result of his outgoing personality and openness with his fans, he tends to get a lot of stalkers. He’s had to move many times because of this and has even had to stay overnight at his company’s studio because of the sasaengs.

Also, if Childe were an actor on the side I feel like he’d do a lot of comedy skits (think of SNL). I can see him replying to fans on his social media pages and he’s even followed some fan sites because he loves to see them keep up with facts and information about him. He might even correct them if there’s an error, just to avoid any misunderstandings between fans. He’s also the type of idol who doesn’t shy away from the camera, even if it’s sudden. You’ll never catch him off guard because he’s always ready to smile and pose for the paparazzi. Along with this, Childe always welcomes his fans to approach him in public if they recognize him. He loves to take selfies and give out hugs to his fans. If you bring a pen and a sheet of paper, he’ll even sign it for you!