#so I am very invested to an extreme degree lol

[girlscience]

I am intrigued by the wip titled “zaz” if you would like to share some about it fjdjdjdk

Ohhh yes I will absolutely share about Zaz!!! It is more or less a huge ass on-going worldbuilding document. There has been a vague idea of an alien world floating around in my head since about 2018 I think? And I finally started writing it all down and putting some actual detail into it. This document includes such things as angle and axis of rotation of the planet, placement of tectonic plates, ocean and wind currents, tides, a bit of flora and fauna, alien biology and culture, the very rough beginnings of an alien language, and some other related bits.

The aliens that live on this planet are the ones I have mentioned before that have horns like pachycephalosaurus and practice a sort of headbutt wrestling. The alien race is called Ma't'am. Zaz specifically is the name of one of the ma't'am, I am going to use them in a space dnd game, but they are also my sort of "way in" for understanding the culture and life in a more specific way than broad cultures (this whole world exists far beyond the scope of dnd but it has kind of given me an excuse to go wild over it lol). Zaz is a diminutive form of zazaz, which is a sort of bamboo like mangrove tree that their people use to do everything from building ships to weaving baskets to making clothing. And it connotes something like solid/sturdy/useful/multipurpose. The planet is mostly covered by ocean (fun fact the 'sand' on the planet is actually lots of small sea glass so the whole ocean is sort of like stained glass) and the majority of the landmass is islands. There are groves of zazaz trees around many of the islands, and because the ma't'am are entirely ship-living nomads the zazaz trees and a few other mangrove like plants are the only land based organism/object that they interact with.

This is my very loose map of the planet (excluding the wind and ocean currents, they are on another layer and make it hard to read). It's not super great, I have definitely made better maps before, but I think it gives a pretty clear picture of the shape of the world! The world is about the size of Mars, so it is quite a bit smaller than earth. I made some very loose calculations about human populations from a few different areas and time periods and concluded that there would be around 100 million ma't'am living on the planet.

I have about a bajillion other thoughts on this world and it's people, but that's the pretty basic overview I think? Someday I hope to draw Zaz and some of the other Ma't'am and their world.... but who knows if that will ever happen. I will absolutely share more information about all this if anyone wants it! I think about it all the time and love theorizing and worldbuilding with other people :)

[batsplat]

I’m gonna sound like a boomer but we’re never gonna get any rivalries on par with vale’s feuds or actually any pre late 2010s feuds anymore. and I think social media is definitely one of the major reasons why. now you have to watch what you say bc it’s gonna be immediately broadcasted and some your 253655665 followers or insta or twitter are gonna overreact and go hurl abuse in another guy’s comments. and this is so lame.

right there with you anon. I've been wondering about the 'why are athletes these days so boring' question for years (not in motogp specifically) and one theory I've seen touted is just the increased professionalisation of sports, how much more all-consuming it is from childhood onwards - essentially suggesting athletes today don't have the time to develop a personality or cook up feuds lol. and I think there's probably something to that theory - the current demands of professional sports are inevitably producing some singularly single-minded athletes, far more pr-friendly and moulded into being acceptable to the average consumer... but the other part of the equation just has to be the incredible levels of scrutiny they're subjected to. social media and the rabid fanbases it helps cultivate have to be a part of that

I'm always wary of speaking too definitively about the vibes of an era I wasn't around to experience - obviously controversies back then were also, in fact, controversial, sometimes athletes had to walk back their comments, fanbases certainly were rabid... but it's all a question of degree, isn't it - and how relentless the content consumption is, the ferocity of the news cycle, how inescapable everyone's opinions on everything end up being. if you look at the general tone of the alien era, I just don't think that kind of thing would be possible nowadays. it really wasn't just valentino either, and it's always worth remembering the context of the time in which valentino rose through the ranks. his first major feud, after all, was with a notoriously abrasive rider who was hardly beloved by his non-valentino opponents - and let's not forget how he was physically threatened by two riders after his very first grand prix (to be clear, I am not endorsing threatening seventeen year olds and think it's probably quite good they don't do that anymore). god, if casey said some of the stuff he used to come out with nowadays, and not just about valentino either... the discourse, it would be bad. the jorge/dani feud too would surely have reached cataclysmic levels of toxicity

and there's a lot of people who say, 'well, why don't you think competitors can just be respectful to each other, why can't athletes just be tough in competition and friendly outside of it, why do you need everyone to hate each other' - look, I think it's fun! sports is supposed to be about extreme emotions, heightened emotions about these artificial contests that feel larger than life. in one sense, it really isn't that serious, but on the other hand it obviously couldn't be more serious. more important than life or death, as the cliché goes, or that orwell 'war minus the shooting' quote mat oxley is ever so fond of - but that's only because we ascribe it meaning. which allows it to exist in this fun zone where we can live out these bizarrely dramatic stories that are high on emotional stakes, but for all intents and purposes are rather less high on material stakes (certainly for the fan). it's a release of a kind, sometimes an escape. now, personally, I enjoy my drama with a little bit of edge, of nastiness, which I understand is a personal preference but don't think (as is sometimes suggested) means I am any less invested in the sporting side of the equation. it is the substance of the sport that provides the scaffolding for the human interest stories it generates, but fundamentally nobody would give a shit about sports without the human interest element - and to me, a feud is simply an extension of that principle

another probably controversial critique of the 'why can't everyone like each other' stance is that I just fundamentally believe it to be dishonest. or, look, maybe there are some competitors out there who can feel nothing but warmth and love in their hearts for the opponent who has just beaten them - which is very lovely for them, they're clearly far better people than I am. but I don't buy everyone feels that way and I also don't buy this is something that has changed with a generation or two. obviously, the norms within any given sport end up shaping how the athlete approaches competition, what they believe is acceptable to say or do, or even to think or feel. the emotions might be visceral, they may even resemble hate, but the question is to what extent we allow them to be expressed. if these people don't like each other, if they think uncharitable thoughts towards each other, then, y'know, let them have at it as far as I'm concerned. respect is overrated. and even when it's not just earnestly felt emotions, even when they really are just playing games, attempting to fuck with their rivals... well, that's the other question, is it. is it acceptable to deliberately attempt use 'psychological' tactics, perhaps even intimidation, to win a contest or not? to me, the answer is 'obviously yes' and 'that's how sports works', but I accept not everyone agrees lol

I have particularly little patience with this stance in motogp, I think, because the belief that 'riding in a manner that could physically hurt another human being' is an acceptable element of competition but 'not conforming to social niceties afterwards' is not feels viscerally absurd to me. now, the former just has to be countenanced to some degree or other as part of the moral calculus you are performing in even engaging with the sport, because fundamentally you cannot 'objectively' determine how much risk riders can acceptably put each other in before it crosses a moral line. as far as I'm concerned, then, you might as well have at least some patience for the latter too - we're already morally firmly in the grey here. and intimidation still happens, after all, mind games are still all the flavour... but there's this constant need for subtlety, to keep the nastier side of competing hush hush, that I find deeply tedious. sure, sometimes subtlety can be nice, but at this point it feels less like a personal preference and more an ironclad requirement. and this is the thing, right. sometimes, people are arseholes. professional athletes certainly are. sometimes, just like their fans, they feel violently extreme emotions. especially if they've just been competing. but of course, if every single controversy attracts such out-sized vitriol from fans, a moral referendum on everyone involved, a boiling pot of feverish partisanship... well, it's unsurprising if athletes try to steer clear from all that, isn't it

I also don't think we're going to get another feud that can get mentioned in the same breath as valentino's offerings any time soon, though perhaps next year we can have a good go at it. (ironically, of course, this is still an extension of one of his feuds - you have this built-in vitriol which I reckon at times allows it to worm its way past the filters all of these people have developed.) which, you know, I don't need them to artificially cook up feuds just for the sake of it. beyond broader trends between generations, obviously this is also a question of individual personalities and how they happen to interact with each other. if valentino's feuds are as good as it gets, I can live with that - I do still enjoy the sport plenty, am grateful to valentino for providing me so much good archival material to pour over and dissect, and don't want to ask for too much here. god knows, the current version of motogp is still highly dramatic by the standards of my main sport, and unfortunately I still watch that shit all the time. but it's still a bit of a shame that competitors don't seem to get a lot of choice in the matter these days. and it's a bit of a shame that fans seemingly prefer it this way, going by the vitriol they heap on athletes over any and every offence. it's also a bit of a shame that it feels like there's no real escaping the relentless partisanship of online fan spaces. personally I'm not all that into discoursing about whether things are 'good' or 'bad' and more into establishing whether something's 'interesting' and then thinking about it some more, which doesn't feel like much of an option if you for some reason ever get struck by the desire to interact with other fans online. but it is what it is, y'know. at least we'll always have that time valentino put a curse on a guy

[threeletterslife]

Update

TL;DR: below the keep reading, vote on my update schedule

Hey everyone :) It's been a while—five months since I've last posted on this account and nearly a year since I've posted the 35th chapter of LOD

First and foremost, I want to apologize for being gone much longer than expected, and I will apologize again for being unable to offer more clarity about my absence, for now and in the future. Thank you to everyone who sent kind asks/messages checking up on me and to everyone who was invested enough in LOD to inquire about an update schedule. I felt a lot of guilt for not being active and for not delivering or meeting expectations, so just wanted to send out my sincerest apologies :')

I will attempt to answer the three most commonly asked questions I've gotten during my hiatus in this post:

Will you be continuing LOD?

Yes. As I've said time and time again, I will never abandon a story that I've invested so much of my time into. Call it sunk cost fallacy or delusion but I will finish LOD if it's the last thing I ever fucking do lol. Updates will be slow, however. But I promise you now that I will never actually leave. If I do suddenly disappear for years, that honestly means that I've died lol

When will you be posting a new chapter?

This depends on you guys. In all honesty, I have chapters 36 to 39 "ready" to publish. I am not in the position to write at this moment in time, so this would mean after I post chapter 39, there's no telling when the next update will be :( I have two options for you guys:

OPTION 1: I can post all of the chapters I have written in one go

Pro: You'll have access to all of the existing (and finished) LOD content, which is very well-deserved, so you can binge-read to your heart’s content

Con: You'll probably have to wait over half a year for chapters 40 and beyond

OPTION 2: I can post one chapter monthly/bi-monthly on a consistent schedule

Pro: I'll be able to buy some time (it'll take 4-7 months to post the remaining chapters) to write so that by the time I post chapter 39 (later this year or early next year), I'll most likely have chapters 40+ ready so you won't be as much in the dark about my future update schedule

Con: You'll only get one chapter every ~1.5 months. I also can't guarantee I'll have chapters 40 and beyond ready to go after I finally publish chapter 39 but I'd try my best

Are you alive? How are you doing? Are you okay?

I'm managing, though it's been a while since I've felt like I've been living. I've been in survival mode constantly for the past year, and it's quite draining. But the good news is that I'll be graduating next year with my degrees, so I expect I'll be freer then. I'm currently taking classes and working at my internship so I'm constantly inundated with projects and exams

I have been writing, though. That's one thing in my life that will never change. College has been hard on me, though it has also been such a privileged, fun, and rewarding experience. It helped me grow up or maybe even devolve in some ways. I've met some diabolical people around here, and have had not-so-great experiences that definitely forced me to become less trusting and stern. Sometimes I miss my old self, but I also know that I've grown into someone who can be more tolerant of the complete BS that is occasionally adulthood LMAO

Anyway, I'm extremely oversaturated with STEM everywhere I go, which given my majors, is a no-brainer. But I find great reprieve in art, especially art that I create to heal myself. So I've slowly come to realize that the content that I want to create—and the content that makes me happy to create—is not well-aligned with LOD. Over the past year, I've been working on small side projects, such as an original collection of short stories that I feel really at peace with. I've said it before and I'm saying it again, but LOD has always been my challenge piece. I don't dabble often in fantasy, and I wanted to give it a go; I'll finish what I've started. But I would also hate to reduce what LOD is to a simple word like "fantasy," though that was my excuse to avoid writing it for months. I actually think LOD's a lot more than that. In a way, it's a character study; it's not purely about the magic systems. In fact, I don't even think I put that much emphasis on the magic systems in the first place. It's more about the characters, and what the people have to go through during a war, which I've also realized becomes increasingly pertinent given the political climate right now

I'm getting into ramble-town territory, so I'll stop for now. I think with all that being said, I'm doing okay. I'm exhausted, but I'm also an incredibly privileged person, so I should be grateful for where I am in life right now and the people who have helped me rise to this level (you included!)

I'm excited to graduate, and I'm excited to write every single day once I start my full-time job. My life goal is to publish a book, though I don't think it'll be a novel—either a novella or a collection of short stories. Anyway, if you've come this far, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I will forever be grateful for this platform that I have and also be incredibly honored that people read what I put out here. I'll begin posting as soon as the poll is completed

Thank you for being patient with me, and I hope you stay happy and healthy <3

[webshootersandwingdings]

In case you didn't see, there's a rumor going around that a Captain Marvel game may be in early development.

As someone who is into comics and games, I feel particularly attacked by this lol. Carol Danvers is my favorite hero. A Carol game is my ultimate pie in the sky dream.

She has been playable in a number of games on console and mobile, but I unfortunately believe this rumor to be untrue.

Here's why:

I have a lot of thoughts and I like to type, so this will be needlessly wordy. Scroll to the bottom for my TLDR.

First of all, rumors like this spread all the time. People just make stuff up and other accounts will spread it like wildfire. It happens constantly in the world of gaming just as it does in film.

But I don't think Marvel is willing to gamble on Captain Marvel to this degree.

I will preface what I'm about to say with a gentle disclaimer that The Marvels was not a great financial success for many reasons. I personally was disappointed by it, and think it has a lot of issues as a film. And I overall am not a fan of the way Carol has been adapted in the MCU. But casual fans generally enjoyed it. Marvel, however, did very little to actually ensure its success. Not even considering the strikes, they put little effort into marketing, promoting, and merchandising it. They let it release with all its issues. Even if you love it, you can see where it's messy with rewrites and editing.

On the comics sides of things, Marvel again keeps setting Carol up for failure by giving her to writers who either are unfamiliar with her or outright misunderstand and even openly dislike her. They don't even promote her comics. The final issue of Wong's arc just released last week and Marvel social accounts didn't even include it in their "New Comics This Week" posts. In my opinion, that is egregious. It definitely gives fuel to the "They only keep a Captain Marvel title going for copyright reasons" fire. It's not a good look. But it does give the impression that Marvel has little faith in Carol Danvers. Or at least, inconsistent support.

Now, video games are at a point in history where they cost more and take longer than ever before to produce. Development cycles for a AAA big budget game can be 3 to 8 years. The cost to develop, in the tens of millions. Insomniac's Spider-man 2 reportedly cost somewhere around $300 million. Creating a game like that is a huge investment, which in turn means it's a huge risk. Marvel's biggest moneymakers have historically been Spider-man and X-Men, so it's no surprise they would look to those properties when considering video games. With the MCU and the increase in Avengers popularity, you see a focus on Captain America, Iron Man, and Black Panther titles. But Captain Marvel has never been one of these titans of profitability. The first Captain Marvel film was an outlier. But it's clear that whatever reasons people flocked to the theaters to see it then did not stick. It may have made some new Carol fans, but it didn't turn Carol into a pillar of the Marvel Universe. And even though all reasonably minded people know the misogyny rooted reasons for the manufactured hate on her, the fact remains...She is a highly contentious character.

Almost all female led projects seem to become punching bags for the "anti-woke" masses, but Carol was really the trailblazer in a way lol, sadly. In no small part because of the wild misinformation spread about Brie Larson. But dislike for the actress has been transferred to the character, as tends to happen. Again, incorrect and presumptive takes on sales and popularity have made most discourse surrounding Carol Danvers extremely prone to toxicity. There even tends to be issues with fans of other female characters, as if Marvel is only allowed to have so many women-centered projects. The point is, Carol is divisive in a way most male heroes are not.

The unfortunate reality is that there has been a growing movement in the last few years of the same level of toxicity in the gaming arena. Painfully often, you will see clickbait over the shape of female character's chin as a "lack of femininity". Clout chasers and outrage bait accounts are working tirelessly to tear down and decry female creatives, female characters, and women in general who do not fit their ideals. If a woman exists in a way that they don't like, they claim she has been purposely made unattractive to demonize heterosexual men. If a women is competent, she exists purely to emasculate men.

All is "woke" all is "DEI" all is" forced diversity" ....Essentially, buzzwords for "there's a woman in this who isn't sexually satisfying to me" . . . With this being the current state of gaming, how successful do you think a Captain Marvel game would actually be? Realistically? Marvel undoubtedly knows this. I would love a Captain Marvel game. But would the general audience? Would causal gamers?

TL/DR:

Games are very expensive and cost a lot of time and money to produce. That means they have to sell a lot of copies to make any money. Carol is a divisive character that has a lot of baggage attached to her name at this point because of toxic online discourse, and there is a subset of male gamers who are atrocious about women-led games to the point of rivaling even the most toxic mcu 'fans'. It would be a huge gamble for Marvel to invest in. And I don't see them doing it for lack of guaranteed sales. If they did, it would probably be a smaller-budget AA title or the game would be an ensemble deal with Carol as a part of a larger cast.

Speculation:

If this was 10 years ago, the obvious first women of marvel led game basically writes itself. A spy-thriller / shooter starring Black Widow would have been extremely safe, if a little lacking in innovative gameplay. Many games like that already exist, so putting a Marvel Universe coat of paint on the genre would have been too easy. Today, there really is no clear lead for a sure success. Any woman of the X-Men is high in popularity, but I assume most fans would rather have an ensemble game with other mutants rather than a Rogue or Storm solo game. The next most popular female hero is probably Scarlet Witch. But Marvel may be unwilling to have a magic based game so soon after Midnight Suns, and if they did you know they'd probably do Doctor Strange before her, despite the legion of vocal Wanda fans who would be willing to support it.

It sucks because even though it's 2024 it's very clear how male dominated Marvel products still tend to be. I would love a AA She-Hulk game that combined Ace Attorney like court room text based gameplay with side scrolling beat em up action...maybe even some dating sim elements. But after the She-Hulk show on Disney+, is Marvel ever going to invest in such a thing? With so much negativity and fake outrage surrounding almost everything starring a woman, what is Marvel willing to invest in?

In the past, Marvel has tried to prop up Carol as their Wonder Woman. But as I said, support for her has been inconsistent. Maybe it is that they know its a bad look for all their games to be male led and they want a competitor to the upcoming Wonder Woman game... but I feel skeptical.

Highly doubt anyone read all this, but it's nice to get my thoughts out in any case.

If Carol got a game, I would be beside myself with excitement. There'd be no living with me lol

[tubbytarchia]

Someone asked for other reasons I hate Estonia but there's a lot so I'm making it into a post instead lol

TLDR: very conservative (eg homophobic), expensive living rates and low pay, we get no good stuff, estonians are rude, russians in estonia are rude, domestic abuse rates, estonia is a lame country

I am not claiming that these are exclusive to Estonia, please fuck off if you think that makes my complaints invalid

Estonians are piss conservative (so majorly transphobic, homophobic, anti-abortion etc) (Also racist)

Estonians are fucking rude. There is extremely little common decency like respect for the elderly and junk. Estonians are so quirky because they're so introverted (Estonians very frequently describe Estonians as such) (and often easily aggravated) and then they're SOO introverted that they refuse to even help others. It's not a norm to tip ANYONE or thank workers like bus drivers. I sprained my knee at a store entrance and that shit hurts so I had to keel over for awhile, and yet I felt like I was being a bother by not getting out of the way enough for all the people who couldn't care less. I have so many personal examples but I'll give you my best: My pregnant sister passed out in the middle of a major grocery store only for NO ONE to call for an ambulance until she came to and had to do so herself.

Something I barely ever hear anyone talk about!!! But domestic abuse!! Casual domestic abuse is so normalized that no one ever says anything, a survey from a few years ago found that 1 in 6 Estonians are sexually abused in childhood alone. A survey from this year found that 41% of the women questioned experienced domestic abuse at the hands of their partner. I cannot understate how big of a problem it is that victims just DON'T TALK (and that's not their fault!!!! It's the country's!!!)

About 25% of our population is Russian, and I would not complain about this if 1. Russians living here weren't massive assholes a lot of the time, expecting everyone to speak Russian instead of them learning Estonian or just being fucking respectful (DISCALIMER MY EXPERIENCE AND WHAT I'VE HEARD FROM OTHERS and junk, I'm not generalizing everyone, is this really a racist comment? I seriously do have wayyy more negative experiences with Russians than pleasant, that doesn't mean there aren't decent or nice Russians living here) and 2. if Estonia DIDN'T ENFORCE Russian. I get it, the Russian occupation and whatever shit! But these days you can't even become a good paying DOCTOR with a doctor's degree if you don't also speak Russian

Minimum wage WAS recently increased but the increase was to 4.60USD. While Americans get 7.25USD and I've heard you can get paid like 10USD as a fast food worker too which is crazy to me. Not in Estonia you fucking can't. Wages in general are pretty piss poor and it's often more affordable to just work overseas

Estonia is quaint which is also a plus but to me mostly a minus because I feel so stuck here. Non-Estonians are like "but you have a lot of forests!" like lmao that's the highest possible praise that Estonia can be given. It is incredibly boring here and our highest "mountain" is 318m

The cities are boring. I feel that only two places here can even be called cities, the rest are more like big towns. The capital has some very cool and pretty places but that's about it (ofc Estonia has many cool and pretty locations but compared to other countries? Ughh. Barely any skyscrapers, not many elevated roads or tunnels... all that good stuff)

Our prices are set to become the most expensive in all of Europe!! Local prices have already in some cases doubled in the last year and continue to increase almost monthly, set to increase by another 20% at the start of 2024 lmaoo

Not many big brands. We get some fast food places but no Wendy's or Starbucks or whatever. Nobody wants to invest here, we got Subway recently and they left not even a year later

Not much geek stuff. Estonia has 2 anime stores TOTAL. 4 proper card game stores TOTAL. I'm frankly amazed we even get a singular convention, but we have absolutely no locals. Stores have started selling stuff like Pokemon toys very recently. Even in Finland (overseas neighbor), Pokemon/Digimon/Yugioh was everywhere. And here? Lmao no not ever. Not even ANY school clubs or anything. We get choirs and that's it

Shipping is abysmal. It costs like 10 bucks to send most stuff from Estonia to ANYWHERE in the world, yet it almost exclusively costs 30-50 bucks to ship anything from the US. And shipping fees from even the UK aren't very good either. (Which, again, abysmal accessibility to geek stuff, because people barely ever sell anything in Europe internationally. Mostly US and UK people do, esp because they are the only ones who get any cool stuff)

Local production is expensive as shit because there's little choices because we're still a tiny country. Ofc having your stuff produced in China is always cheaper but then you also gotta wait 3 months for shipping!! Unless you wanna pay 50EUR+ for it of course

Very strict gun laws so I can't go and buy a gun to off myself from this miserable country

[why-its-kai]

i am apparently only good at researching something if i am extremely invested in it. unfortunately it is only ever stuff relating to my hyperfixations and the urge to find out more happens in a very spur-of-the-moment way with high chance of me going off on multiple tangents. unfortunately there is really no way to use these abilities in any school settings to get a degree bc the way my brain works simply does not comply with expectations of schools. i do not choose when or how long it'll take for me to complete a project. i simply follow the impulses when they come. i simply can't stick to a set schedule or meet deadlines with the way i work when i go into research mode. a project could be done in a few days or span multiple months/years even but i really cannot predict going in how long it will take me or even be able to finish. and extremely specific knowledge of something like one anime series is not helpful towards getting any degree. i do not control the hyperfixations and unfortunately i've never become so completely engrossed in any topic that could get me an actual degree in something useful lol. sometimes i wonder if i did have some actually "useful" interest/fixation like in sciences or art or literature if i could've succeeded in college and gotten a degree

[lovingchopshopbarbarian]

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[toshipingu]

Chevalier is not a shitty war strategist

I saw someone say Chevalier is a bad war strategist. It is time I avenge my unconventional husband.

DISCLAMER: THIS IS SIMPLIFIED HEADCANON. It is NOT entirely based off real events!

Note that the Ikemen Prince game is not focused on war strategy and that there is probably much more going on under the table. The game is a very romanticized view of life so I will try to make this a bit more believable.

I am modelling their relationship similar to Italy, UK, France + Germany in World War 2. It’s a bit more realistic compared to the ultimately simplified ass version in Ikeprince. (I have too much time on my hands today lol). But the map is almost the same just flipped about 90 degrees clockwise.

The technology is VERY demoted compared to in real life WW2. Read more for paragraphs of this...history war stuff I am oddly passionate about :D

Apologies for the bad English and unorganized text...I don’t wanna invest too much time into this. And this is just for fun; don’t take it seriously!!

** this is very simplified!!! The relationship is not exactly the same in real life. I meant the geography is slightly similar in MY rotated map. I’m writing about literal fictional characters so I’m altering the comparison to the 4 European countries as much as I want -- this is NOT canon :)

I thought it’d be easier for people to compare it to the game if the map was slightly similar to ours in real life. The ‘history’ is EXTREMELY simplified. I am comparing the CONFLICT between the countries and have still changed it up a bit i.e. The geographical ‘Italy’/Benitoite never siding with Germany/Obsidian when in reality there existed the Tripartite Pact with Japan as well in which I have omitted. There is no mention of specific historical details - I only took small chunks from history books and videos since it’s easier to explain!!!

I am NOT a historian. This is obviously simplified to the level of  the game’s flowery explanations. It’s basically CARTOONISH so take it with a  grain of salt 🤦‍♀️

 Chevalier’s War Strategy: To declare war on Obsidian.

Ignoring the existence of powerful countries similar to Japan, Russia, China and America, this war is simpler. I will be localizing the war at only this area.

1. Simplified descriptions of the countries:

Jade is a neutral UK without their naval fleet. 

Benitoite is an upgraded and allied version of Italy (Italians were cowards in war) +  naval fleet. 

Rhodolite is a smaller France. 

Obsidian is an agriculturally poor Germany. Just a military-rich but people-poor country if that makes sense.

Take into account that a powerful country should also have a prospering population, not just fancy war weapons.

Benitoite and Jade are neutral.

Also, war is not a beautiful thing. And men back then were merciless as hecc.

2. Situation

Here Obsidian has no allies whereas in WW2 Italy was a (bad) ally to Germany.

The country/countries Obsidian is currently trying to colonize is similar to Poland (a small and poorly equipped country at the time.)

There is a naturally impenetrable ‘border’ between Rhodolite, Benitioite and Obsidian. This is incredibly convenient for Rhodolite and Bentioite.

3. Likely scenario

Looking at the map the first thing that comes to mind is: Why don’t Jade and Obsidian just take over Rhodolite and (maybe) Benitoite (totally possible)?

You will see that Jade is a very important piece of the puzzle here.

--> Jade is a neutral country which can not be threatened or attacked under the law of war. But Jade can still choose who to side with if they want. It would benefit Obsidian greatly if they sided with Jade so they have 2 borders to penetrate through instead of the half mountain covered border between Rhodolite and Obsidian.

--> Obsidian can ‘ask’ Jade to join forces with them, or Obsidian can try to force Jade to side with them. Declaring war or attacking Jade is a big NONO idea because it would automatically lead to international action against Obsidian for attacking a neutral country - here, Obsidian's power can't oppose international war backlash. Furthermore, severing trade relations with Jade is catastrophic for the not-so-prosperous Obsidian. IDK what other countries Obsidian is trading with but it’s probably not as important as trade with Jade. I assume Obsidian also steals from other countries they conquered so keep in mind that they are still incredibly powerful.

--> ‘Asking’ Jade to join forces is a risk. Obsidian has no way of really knowing whether or not Jade would agree to this unless Obsidian causes or if there exists some (staged) bitterness between Jade and Rhodolite - unlikely as Obsidian is still trying to colonize other countries - and Rhodolite seems pretty chill with Jade.

Chevalier is correct: currently, it is the perfect time to declare war on Obsidian

--> Obsidian is currently, actively trying to colonize Rhodolite. It is inappropriate of Rhodolite to just sit there. Chevalier will have to act quickly before Obsidians ‘centuries ahead technology’ actually gets on the battlefield (still currently fighting with swords...machinery under development). Also note that Obsidian would probably be relatively exhausted (i.e. resources used) from battling another war with the so called small country

This is the best time for Rhodolite to fight back before Obsidian becomes more powerful.

--> Assuming that Obsidian is the only colonizing power of the 4, colonizers would look very BAD in this situation. Obsidian is basically a war bully, and EVERY surrounding country (not just Rhodolite) is under their threat, including Jade. Yes I know it’s against the laws of war to attack a neutral country but keep in mind that Obsidian is the only colonizer here. Colonizers conquer and exploit .

4. Antiwar faction and unstable government

--> Anti-war faction: Target Chevalier’s faction only. A small part of the (indecisive, rich and selfish) population as we have seen in Chevalier’s route. They are scared but they still mostly understand Chevalier’s motives. I was really confused when they wanted Rhodolite to quite literally surrender to Obsidian. Giving yourself to a colonizing country is not stopping war...but letting them exploit your land, resources, people etc. The princes were not talking gibberish when they said that letting Obsidian in would turn the citizens of Rhodolite into slaves.

5. No King??

--> By the time the Belle selection is over, Obsidian would probably be done with their colonizing up there, but it is possible that they could still be preoccupied.

Note that Obsidian used up resources to fight that particular war and should be relatively exhausted (requiring time to recover)

Having no King doesn’t seem like a big problem on the surface -- because it probably isn’t really in Rhodolite. The king is forma power and the final military decision should be made by him-- if Chevalier becomes King this becomes straightforward. 

BUT, say no king has been chosen yet and Rhodolite is on thin-ice with Obsidian. The decision sits with the princes and (maybe Sariel sorta). 

Keeping the dead King secret is possible if Sariel does his magical demon silencing shit. I think it is very likely that Leon’s faction would listen to Chevalier -- because realistically speaking, a country must take defense AND offense against a colonizer. Leon’s ideology of being defensive only will not work. It would only corner them.

I’m not going to expand on this point because it’s so freaking complicated. Dead King does not mean dead millitary tho.

6. Declaring war

--> Obsidian declaring full-ass war on Rhodolite is not a good idea especially if Jade still has great relationship with Rhodolite.

In this instance, to allow development and safety of Jade itself, it’s very likely that Jade would side with Rhodolite to keep trades up with rich countries like Benitoite (which is Rhodolite’s ally) and Rhodolite itself, instead of siding with an exploiting conquerer with poor land and bad primary resources like Obsidian. But I still assume Obsidian has other types of resources i.e. coal and fossil fuels that would come into great use during the industrial revolution.

--> Rhodolite, Benitoite and (very likely) Jade declaring war on Obsidian: Forcing Obsidian into submission is still a full fledged war, and it is likely that Rhodolite would be able to persuade Jade into allying with them. 3 good millitary forces vs 1 great advanced colonizer. Forcing Obsidian into submission means they three countries could also take advantage of Obsidian's existing natural resources, military supplies and advanced technologies to develop themselves. 

Note that I assume all countries have relatively similar war tactics and intellegence and strategy.

7. conclusion

Declaring war on Obsidian isn’t a terrible idea. 

And we could see that Chevalier lowkey is pretty unmoved about casualties (on the surface) if it means protecting Rhodolite.

Chevalier’s war strategy isn’t bad (I guess).

//

(Mass casualties for all choices)

If you read until here, you’re nuts but thanks. I am relieved to get this 20 minute rant off of my chest.

Sorry for the bad English and disorganization 

[k-s-morgan]

Why were Will and Francis so jealous of each other? The comments calling the other person ugly (and impotent lol) come to mind. Was it because Hannibal played them against one another so effectively or because they were both infatuated with him? It feels like they “respected” him as the apex predator and also as the only other person to know their true natures, but they weren’t willing to share. (Also I am sorry about your grandmother, I hope you and your family are doing okay considering ❤️)

Thank you so much <3 And yes, I think you got this right. Both Francis and Will were jealous of one another, and they were both infatuated with Hannibal in various ways and to differing degrees. To Francis, Hannibal was an idol. To Will, Hannibal was an annoying shit, but one he invested too much into to let go. 

Francis

I actually have a separate post about it somewhere, but Tumblr’s search system is terrible sometimes, so I’ll just copy what I have in my drafts. 

Francis apparently had such an overwhelming interest in Hannibal that it was even sexual. From his notes made for the show, this particular bit (transcribed by Bentley):

“I think we are so similar and could be the best partners that history could have seen. Let me show you what we could do together doctor. I am so eager to please you to be your friend your lover perhaps. Why not I think we could love each other doctor. Don’t you want to have someone that is the one in your life. That special someone that is always here for you. It is me doctor? I am!”

Bentley transcribed other parts of the text, too, which seem to be referring to Will. Here’s an interesting part:

“He faces you, he traps you but in the end he is broken! Do you think he understands you? Do you think he really appreciates your magical power? Does he realize how special and unique and wonderful you are doctor. I have my doubts, I don’t think he really sings the wonder, the salvation that can come from following you, knowing you. ”

That’s extremely interesting because it gives a much deeper insight into Francis and his motivations. For one thing, one of the phrases that always bothered me in the show is his description of Will - namely, the mention that he’s “not very handsome”. It’s from the books, so it might apply there, but Will in the show is handsome, very much so. Francis seems to resent him.

Then, he gets hurt and believes that Hannibal betrayed him after the aborted phone call. But what was it that bothered him so? Hannibal did warn him on time and he wasn’t caught, he didn’t reveal his identity. However, after that, Francis talks about betrayal and stages the performance with Chilton that mirrors what Will did to Freddie. The burning ‘Freddie in a wheelchair’ is a symbol of betrayal that connects Will and Hannibal. Francis must have a particular reason to repeat it so literally. He knows about their history, he probably reads between the lines, too. So why he did get so angry now, to the point of wanting to kill Hannibal and recreating a scene from Hannibal and Will’s past?

My theory is, Francis believed that Hannibal is no longer interested in Will and is focused on him instead. He read the article about Will visiting Hannibal for 'consultation’ on his case and believed that Hannibal sent him away. After this, he calls Hannibal for the first time and tells him, “I’m delighted that you have taken an interest in me … I don’t think you’d reveal my identity even if you knew it.” But after Hannibal showed that he’s still associating with the FBI, one way or another (via the phone call), Francis must have realized Hannibal is playing with him, and that it’s Will who might be his end game. He must recall that Will stumbled upon him in the museum, that Hannibal urged him to attack Will’s family, and he connects the dotes, realizing that Will is the central player while he, Francis, is a pawn. He might have been conflicted about Will’s role all this time, hence his notes, but the phone call became the last straw. Hence 'betrayal’ symbol and talks of how Hannibal betrayed him while he just “wanted to share”.

It also explains Francis’ changing attitude to Will. He touched his photo once at the start, which denotes his interest. He threw him away like a toy in the museum, and while it’s just an interpretation, to me, he looked pissed at Will in particular. When he tells Hannibal later that Will interests him, it can’t be just from their museum encounter. Francis clearly knows a lot about Will (likely from Freddie’s articles), but he doesn’t like him because he thinks him unworthy of Hannibal, which his notes prove. But in TWOTL, Francis is very unsure about Will, when he attacks him at the motel. He is no longer certain what to think of him (since he thinks Hannibal has chosen him). He automatically treats him with some sort of respect because of who he is to Hannibal and what he must represent.

Notably, this respect turned into fury in the finale, where he attacked Will quite viciously. Interesting that he went to ruin his face first and foremost. Considering his own insecurity, it says a lot about his many-layered jealousy, from deep to superficial physical level.

Will

Will, unlike Francis, has a long history with Hannibal. He sees himself as someone who has a right to Hannibal after everything they’ve been through, and he hates the thought of not being special or even a sole object of his obsession. This explains Will’s reactions to Randall, Bedelia, and Francis. 

An interesting conversation happens in S3 after the attack on Molly and Walter. Will came to yell at Hannibal for targeting them, then promptly forgot about them and got jealous of Hannibal’s interest toward Francis.  

Hannibal: Before he became the Red Dragon, this shy boy would not have dared any of this.

Will: Now he thinks he can do anything. Anything. Anything (he's so emotional here, he's nearly shaking).

Hannibal: Fear brushes the walls of your chest, circling inside you like a bat in a house. Get hold of it.

Will: The Dragon's gotten hold of his.

So resentful. 

Hannibal: The Dragon likely thinks you're as much a monster as you think he is.

Will: Is this a competition?

He sounds very pissed here, and my opinion is that he came to be angry about Molly but ended up being angry about Francis being more daring and impressing Hannibal. There is definitely some murder jealousy happening. Will sets up Chilton right after this - in my opinion, partly to show that he can do anything, too. 

So the jealousy is both ‘professional’ and personal. Both Francis and Will crave Hannibal’s attention and admiration, but alas, only one of them actually holds them. 

[barbellsandbetasheets]

I am very suddenly dealing with the idea that my PhD is ending and feeling all the fear about the future that I managed to not feel during it, now all at once. 

I have a good job, and it is engaging to some degree, but ultimately I am already bored and I can’t imagine it will get much better. I don’t really get to do science! And the science I do get to do is completely constrained by the need to make money. Even as we bring more different technologies to scale, I am likely to be bored stiff by it all. The thing is, though, this job will pay for an interesting lifestyle. Today it doesn’t seem like that matters because it’s so hard to make friends with whom to share that lifestyle at my age anyway, and finding a partner is even harder, especially in this shithole. I know there will be other places, but right now in this moment my world feels totally finite and almost fully explored already.

On the flip side, pivoting back to pure research is going to (maybe) satisfy my creative needs, but it also means accepting poverty for at least a couple more years, if not many more. Which means no money to build a life I want AND no people to share it with. Writing that out makes it sound extreme, but the reality is that it’s hard to build new relationships even if you don’t factor in financial constraints. When you do, it’s even harder, because new relationships are expensive. This is very much what I experienced in grad school, in which I could afford to do only a very limited number of interesting things. With that said, I did manage to build a few new relationships during, and I also learned how to make the money side work, so I’d be walking into a postdoc with that knowledge and experience under my belt.

And all tangled up in that is the fact that I’m 32, which isn’t even old old, but it’s old enough to be thinking about how 2-5 more years of not really making much money is going to really hurt my ability to own property, have children, and retire at a reasonable age. Of course, when I think about those things I get panicked on top of being sad because my brain has been trained by trauma to fear any kind of stability, even though its natural autistic wiring is extremely geared for stability. 

It’s like I desperately have to get out of my current situation because the stability of it is killing me, but the risk associated with doing a postdoc is not tolerable, because I see a future in which I’m alone and destitute as a sad old man in that scenario. And, ultimately, I’m deeply afraid of being alone in all scenarios anyway. Getting some financial support from my idiot father (whose latest adventure is to open a CrossFit gym? Goodybe inheritance lol) would drastically change all the scenarios in front of me right now. I think he could probably get rid of all my debt if he really wanted to. This would free up so much of my time, income, and brain power.

I know the solution to the way I’m feeling right now, and I need to commit to that solution otherwise I may literally die. I’ve been here before and it almost killed me then; I need to nip it in the bud with some short term stuff immediately and do some longer term planning to determine if there’s a future I can believe in. I need to 

Engage more with creative pursuits, including taking on new projects

Read exciting books

Invite people into my life more, even if it feels weird

Get back to training

Get back to eating in a structured way

Set and track more goals

Look into volunteering

Get my goddamn driver’s licence

Investigate getting on antidepressants

I’m going to accept the costs associated with doing these things without consideration, because honestly I can’t afford not to, and the ~6 months of investment into figuring this out isn’t going to ruin me.

Longer term, I need to either figure out a side hustle with which I can support myself, or find a way to do both my current job alongside the research I’d like to do. Tutoring is a great fallback, but I wonder if there are other opportunities, like consulting, that might be more time efficient and interesting, and how I might get into those opportunities.

I know I can survive this, it’s just going to take some work, a lot of vulnerability, and even more structure.

[curiosity-killed]

Hi....If you don't mind me asking, who are your favorite MXTX characters (top 5 from each novel)? And why? I'm sorry if you've answered this question before.

Aw of course I don’t mind! Though I feel like my answer is going to be a disaster bc I love these casts so so much aha let’s see:

✨ SPOILERS AHEAD ✨

MDZS/CQL

1. Wei Wuxian

Ah so I feel like this is obvious based on the sheer quantity of things I produce and the effort I put into hurting him 😅 but yeah! I love how much of a classical tragic hero he is and I love how much love he has and how that gets twisted around and shaped into a collar of spikes around his own neck. I saw gif sets of wwx before I ever knew about CQL and my reaction was “fuck. I’m going to love him” and I do! And I love that he does learn from his past and I love most of all that he learns to accept the love he is given and is able to make a happy ending in a place of being loved and held in respect and appreciation

2. Wen Qing

On the other hand, I did not expect to be like “mine now” with Wen Qing. Don’t get me wrong, the sexy immortal look got me but it wasn’t really till I started writing fic that I was like ohhhhh Oh Boy. Wen Qing is brilliant and ruthless, fiercely loving and aloof and cold. I love that she gets the lose-lose challenge of balancing what is right for her family vs what is right in the world, what she owes to her sect and what she owes to individuals. The golden core transfer is my favorite dubious science experiment in p much all media I’ve consumed. She gets to be so human—prickly and tough and also achingly gentle and afraid and putting on a tough face and sometimes still crying. “I’m sorry and thank you” ! Im!!

3. Jiang Yanli

The first fic I wrote for this fandom was literally “Jiang Yanli died no she didn’t” lmao I do feel like I underserve Jiang Yanli in that I often fall prey to using her to further the complexity that the male characters are permitted while denying her the chance to be given the same space for development and breath — something to work on! But in that, I really genuinely love how tightly she binds herself to her family and how she tries so hard to be what others need her to be—and then she does make a choice for herself and for a single moment at least, she gets to be loved and to be happy and to have this, a husband and a son and a place, for herself. And terribly I love how much she permeates the story still after death. She is the unspoken voice, the face turned from the camera but always still present, carried in the hearts and names and memories of the ones left behind

She deserved better but—I am weak for the tragedy of it all

4. Jiang Cheng

Another surprise (tho hardly surprising in hindsight): Jiang Cheng is just...horribly understandable. He makes terrible choices and his greatest heroism is undone by a choice made for him or, in the case of “killing the Yiling Laozu” is a lie. He is such a youngest sibling who doesn’t want to be the youngest until all at once, he’s the one in charge and he doesn’t want it at all. He is full of anger and hurt and so much love he doesn’t know what to do with it, doesn’t want it anymore, has no place to put all of its terrible, overwhelming flood.

5. Lan Wangji

I almost didn’t put Lan Wangji or Jiang Cheng on here and then I realized that this is sort of a list of characters I’m pickiest about in fic and...yeah. I think what I love best about Lan Wangji is his journey of grief and healing and through that, his decision to step into world. Where Wei Wuxian’s decision to travel and be removed from the cultivation world (in varying degrees depending on your headcanon preference lol) is really, really important to me, Lan Wangji’s decision to go from being an isolated lone agent working apart from the systems of the world to being involved and invested in changing those systems and working to make them better is also really important to me. I’ve talked before about how relatable Lan Wangji is to me (esp with regards to our interaction with the outer world) and there is something deeply hopeful and comforting about post-timeskip Lan Wangji being in his like mid-/late-30s and still making decisions and growing and changing and choosing to invest himself in the world and the future

yeah. i have thoughts here that I don’t really have the maturity, life experience, or articulation to put into words but Lan Zhan Good basically

TGCF

1. Xie Lian

suuuurpriiiiise!! Yeah honestly mxtx’s mains in TGCF and MDZS really just hit all my buttons basically. What appeals to me most of all about Xie Lian is, fittingly, how he is humanity taken to extremes. His capacity for incredible kindness and compassion is equaled with his capacity for cruelness and ruthlessness. His heaven-shaking highs are matched with calamitous lows. He is the hyperbolic of what it is to be human—and he is also the small moments, the wildflowers and the maple leaves and the mundane chores and the comfort of whispered conversations late into the night. I could quite literally go on for pages about what I love about Xie Lian but I am not Hua Cheng and can restrain myself LMAO

2. Hua Cheng

of all the characters on these lists, Hua Cheng is the one I’m pickiest about tbh! When I say I love him for similar reasons as Xie Lian I don’t actually mean this as being similarities between the two but the fact that both of them so richly convey mxtx’s points about the nature of humanity and what it is to be human. Hua Cheng is both the boldest and most arrogant of all and also the most vulnerable, the one who shies away from the truth because he’s braced for it to hurt and isn’t sure he can take it. He is gory blood rain and an umbrella to shelter a fragile bloom; he is a blade whose wounds only heal if he permits it and he is a sacrifice that he brushes aside as a fit of madness. *pats his head* this boy can fit SO MUCH inside him that he refuses to acknowledge

3. Jun Wu

Definitely my favorite antagonist in recent reading. I was doubtful of him from the start (something something issues with authority something something probably should talk to my theoretical future therapist shhh) but the unfolding of his reveal was so delightfully painful and exquisite that I was like “YES!!!” reading all of it. About the epitome of a satisfying plot twist imo. But about the character himself, I love how he parallels so many — Xie Lian in his rise and fall, his glory and disgrace; Hua Cheng in his fixation and ruthlessness; He Xuan in losing himself to the plot and not knowing how to move forward. I love that he feels beyond human in a way the others don’t—he’s so old and has gone through so much and he doesn’t feel things the way humans do anymore, doesn’t remember right how love squeezes the heart or how hate can exist without acting on it. I love that he thinks he knows how to control everyone and that it’s such mundane things that fool him: Xie Lian’s absurd stubbornness, Hua Cheng’s foolish faith, Yin Yu’s...emotional maturity??? Not Sure how to verbalize that one. But in the end, he is defeated by both the humanity of others and by his own—he’s so tired. He’s exhausted in a way that gods and ghosts aren’t meant to be. He is, under the armor and the masks, the curses and the power, human—benevolent and cruel, evil and good.

4. He Xuan

I love my fish man! No but really I love how He Xuan is so fixed on his one goal that he refuses to acknowledge anything else in his (after)life—which doesn’t make it go away. I love that he is left unmoored, purposeless through the very act of completing that which gives him purpose. I love his long con and the ways he clings to himself but loses himself not in the act but in the telling himself it’s an act. I love that he tries to be a moral man and then becomes a ghost king, a calamity. His reveal is also terribly badass and I do love his bone fish wholly unironically. Like I’m not going to get a He Xuan tattoo (for one thing I’ve been meaning to get a tattoo for 5 years and still haven’t gotten around to it) but also. B o n e f i s h

5. Mu Qing

Of course! The Jiang Cheng of tgcf lol Mu Qing (which my phone desperately wants to autocorrect to my Qing) is so...gah he’s such a mess! And he so fully commits to the belief that no one will ever see and understand him as he is but will always view them through their own convictions about him and his actions — which is simultaneously heartbreakingly lonely and also. Sir You Are a Clown. I genuinely think he’s owed apologies from both Feng Xin and Xie Lian for their treatment and assumptions of him and think that he would be HORRIBLY offended at the thought (while secretly touched? But like secretly even to himself). He will never explain himself and will just clam up tighter the more people accuse him and it’s such a self-sabotaging behavior and also so horribly relatable. I love u sir, you’re a disaster

SVSS I have not read but I do really like the moshang art 😂

[emersonfreepress]

okay so is there content that you had planned for the ROs and story in general but then scrapped cause there wasn’t a good place in the story to stick it in? and if so, can you share what it was? 👀 👀 👀

yes, definitely. *rubs hands together* oh man, you done asked THE question today xD I can't wait to get into this 😁

Academics. I almost decided to have classes and grades be a minor part of gameplay, but the more time I spent designing it the more I realized I wanted nothing to do with it 😂 I haven’t really enjoyed academic gameplay in other interactive fiction because I 1) hate having to choose between studying and interacting with awesome characters, 2) have terrible short term memory, and 3) hate school in general!! So instead I just opted to have the MC be really good at school, point blank period so I could focus on social drama and relationships instead! 😆

Physical skills. I spent literal months crafting the catering scene around setting up stats for stamina/endurance, dexterity, and strength instead of just magnetism, confidence, and persuasion. They had their own backstories with the MC’s parents being overly invested sports parents instead and I think the background choices were like... martial arts, gymnastics, and track? But yeah, I ended up scrapping it all because I was spending hours on research about those individual sports so I could integrate them into the MC’s narrative organically but like... when I tried to think of what use they would be in the actual story, I came up blank. Best decision yet, esp since it means a lot less coding!

Skin tone customization. For one, I noticed that a lot of my favorite IFs don’t offer that customization and it hasn’t impacted my experience at all. For two, I originally realized I might as well not implement it since I am striving real hard not to introduce any customization that won’t actually be mentioned in interesting or meaningful ways in-story. I don’t think it’s really all that common for real life friends (esp in high school?) to comment or compliment each other’s skin and like... when it comes from someone who doesn’t share a similar complexion or ethnic background, that type of commentary gets... d i c e y. So then I wanted to be sensitive to that but what’s the pay-off? An RO mentioning how they love your skin tone once? Awkward sentences with the MC referring to their own skin color? Idk, just wasn’t vibing with it. I’m open to revisiting it in beta or something but for now it’s scrapped.

Singing, Rapping, and Gaming as Hobbies/Talents. I feel bad about scrapping these, honestly 😂 They’re great and I really wanted to incorporate them but it just came down to already having a lot of stuff to code. Plus, I know I can write the Hobbies/Talents I stuck with far better. And for Book 2 purposes, as well!

Leo. as @sourandflightypeaches ​​ asked me about a long while ago, I had to scrap an entire RO 😢 His name is Leo, he was the nephew of wealthy west African diplomats residing in Emerson, and I love him dearly! His backstory was largely based on my mother’s childhood and the circumstances she lived through after immigrating to America. and... ok, i’m about to go on one hell of a tangent so buckle up and bear with me if you can 😅

my intention with this story, aside from writing things that I personally enjoy (graphic violence, spooky woods, social drama, romance, conspiracies 😚), is to explore greed, wealth, and how the ways people and families interact with those two things influence young people and who they grow up to be. here i go sounding pretentious af 😝 and here’s where I apply a cut for those who want to preserve a little mystery to the main characters!

With Gabe, we’ve got someone who grew up with very little stability or financial security but who has found unscrupulous methods to gain status and money, with both noble and selfish motivations.

Kile has some of that childhood experience in common with Gabe, having been in the foster care system since infancy, but they lucked out when they were adopted into massive wealth by a caring, loving couple—a couple that uses their wealth and privilege to be far more lenient and protective of Kile than is actually reasonable or responsible.

Jack comes from a prestigious wealthy family on his dad’s side who he loves dearly but there’s no getting around the fact that they love him back as much as they despise his working class mom.

Jessie is a spoiled sweet heiress (being the baby of her family and the only girl) and while she lives blissfully ignorant of the harmful source and impact of her father's income and career, she bears the weight of the expectation to fulfill very traditional gender roles, including her behavior and appearance, but also extending to her career and life plans.

Rain's wealth led to them growing up sheltered and isolated but also extremely accommodated, giving them maximum freedom and opportunity to discover and develop their personal talents and interests. However, they have almost no positive relationship with their parents who have essentially decided to give up on a kid that couldn't be exactly the accessory they tried to mold them to be—both in terms of their identity and personality.

Rupan/Rohan, at their very core, rejects everything about conformity, self-importance, and excessive luxury—which means they have never, ever truly fit in with their peers. Going full non-conformist, however, has resulted in them becoming alienated from much of their family, as well, despite them all loving each other very much. Their history with false friends and betrayals has led them to over-indulge in their vices and reckless behavior to compensate for that isolation. Sometimes, they just get in over their head and many times, they know better. Every time, it's just that the feeling of finally belonging is utterly intoxicating.

Vivian/Vincent has two extremely successful parents who didn't inherit but instead built up their wealth and they aspire to be just like them, to a degree that is well and truly unhealthy. Their mother specifically is an over-achiever and applies mountainous pressure for them to follow in her footsteps, especially academically. Vi is completely capable of achieving what their mom expects of them, but they were already an extremely sensitive perfectionist so this has made them intensely critical of themself. This is a large part of why they are such a rigid, no-nonsense person and that in turn has made them one of the most disliked people among their peers—which is a huge personal failure to them since their father is a very well-liked and socially successful person in town.

And the Emersons are peak privilege: inherent high social status, brains, looks, charisma, athleticism, and massive wealth. They could never have been anything less than extremely popular, just by virtue of their last name and the nature of the town's social dynamics and politics. And they do enjoy that privilege (esp Curt lol). However, it should go without saying that being so high profile, even (or maybe especially) just in the isolated scope of your hometown, isn't always a boon. Their family's and their own perceived failings are widely discussed and privately mocked and/or celebrated. Real friends are scarce while fake ones and snakes are plentiful. Plus their dad is a gigantic dickhead who sees his kids as extensions of his own status and reputation and not much else. Public shortcomings make for an unbearable time at home and the world outside the estate is at once overly accommodating, full of assumptions, and even subtly hostile at times—all unrelated to their own actions or character.

And with the MC, I think the narrative will make it clear there are several ways that story can go. You start off with irresponsible parents that have lost their wealth due to their own mismanagement and material ambitions—how that affects any individual MC should differ based on choices and consequences!

So why bring any of that up when I was supposed to be talking about my cut OC? 😂😂

Leo was going to be the unwelcome recent addition to his uncle’s household, the son of a brother his aunt hates for (petty af) Reasons, and she took that resentment out on him directly by restricting his access to nearly every aspect of the family's wealth. Especially material goods and living conditions. He was basically treated like the help, tasked with playing nanny for his many younger cousins and burdened with doing the homework and providing academic cover for his dumb as rocks cousin in the same grade as you all. To sum it up, he was basically a victim of trafficking at the hands of his own family with his uncle out of town enough to feign ignorance to how bad his wife was treating his nephew and his aunt going out of her way to keep him busy, at home, and isolated. This is sadly a super common form of trafficking in Francophone African cultures (although I don't think most people view it as trafficking. and I’m sure the same is true of other cultures but I don’t want to speak outside of my purview). And like I mentioned above, it’s how my own mom's (and idek how many cousins') child/teenhood went.

It’s a perspective on modern wealth, privilege and greed that I really, really wanted to tell. I am confident in saying it hasn't been explored in interactive fiction yet (though correct me—and direct me 👀—if I'm wrong) and out of all the wealth/greed explorations I came up with, it's the one I have the closest personal ties to and the strongest feelings about. The characters and plans I had for it were detailed and I'm proud of them but at the end of the day... I just couldn't find a place for Leo in the story at large.

Leo was, in fact, the last main character I came up with, when I had already designed and fleshed out the larger story and started crafting the timeline of major events. I think the worst thing I could have done for a story and perspective that I care about this much is shove it into a plot that didn't have room for it at the very base level, regardless of how well the character or his story is written. Shoe-horned characters always stick out. I didn’t want to disservice Leo by having him be the character that did nothing or could be removed from the main plot without affecting it at all, y’know? That’s so much worse than just forgoing the indulgence, imo :((

ugh.... Leooooo 😭 I'm so sorry bb, I failed youuu 😥

[onewomancitadel]

I sincerely don’t get the ire directed at Rose/Garden. What happened to all of yous lol? He’s a boy with an ancient reincarnated wizard in his head and she’s a girl who has inherited the purifying embodied power of moonlight and silver to protect life, they both have mystical things going on for them that are entirely removed from the real world. If the way the story is going the way it seems to go, Oz will probably be freed from Oscar and reunited or at least healing the wound with Salem (she can’t be killed). RG is easily going to be a slowburn and not happen for ages, especially because it involves the main character.

I’m not even that invested in RG, it’s not really that structurally or thematically interesting to me (yet), I have very particular tastes, even if I don’t categorically dislike friends to lovers. Hopefully V9 ramps up some of the longing and makes it more overt, though I do think symbolically RG is extremely obvious on paper. I guess I am saying RG is obvious to me even as a non-RG shipper. Also I think it’s really weird what’s happened to fiction consumption, like to a degree yes fiction affects reality, especially when you send death threats over your hatred for your pretend made up ship, that is affecting reality because you yourself see no separation lol. (general made up person you pronoun used there).

Btw this isn’t a backhanded compliment and this is just intended to go on my blog not show up in tags and annoy people. RG is so harmless and just a little friends to lovers ship with little to no funny business going on other than magical powers that only exist in the world of Remnant.

I don’t know it’s sort of funny to me, but I guess R/eylo is pretty similar in that it’s an extremely harmless vanilla ship by all rights but people lose their absolute minds over it (Ben never even hurts Rey, Rey invades his head all the same, she cuts up his face, they’re enemies and then even when they’re supposed to hate each other in TLJ they don’t and they have fee fees for each other, because the conflict doesn’t fucking matter, if the First Order and the Resistance didn’t exist they would be that couple making out constantly and holding hands too much), I guess because it’s just people-shipping-what-me-no-like. I mean yeah I absolutely loathe J/aune slash W/eiss as a ship and it gets in the way of my OTP but I just live and suffer and let other people do what they want and just personally whine on my personal blog.

[texxasserialroundup]

Incoming college students.. listen up!

I have been asked about some tips or advice for incoming college students, both traditional and non-traditional, so here it is.. enjoy!

So I am what you call a non-traditional student I did not go to college right out of high school it took a couple years for me to realize that it was important for me to pursue a higher education beyond my high school diploma. My very first freshman semester I took two classes, one of these was a developmental math course ( I ABSOLUTELY LOATH MATH!) and of course I dropped out of college soon after, honestly I don't even think I did like a full month of classes I just stopped showing up. I wasn’t motivated and all I really wanted to do was hang out with my friends and do hood rat shit (LOL)  Fast forward 4 years after that, when I AGAIN decide to get my act together, it took that mixed with having some personal experiences to kind of get my head straight in regards to my future endeavors and what I want to do with myself. When I say that it's hard to do college by yourself, y’all... it is so hard, it doesn’t help that I'm an introvert who doesn’t like to ask for help from tutors because I feel like I am burdening them and I’m worried that I will embarrass myself with dumb questions.  Neither of my parents graduated high school so that was no help with homework or studying and at the time I was going to a Community College and so the atmosphere is not quite like a four-year University. Everybody just kind of stays to themselves so it is not like it is easy to mingle make new friends, there is not a lot of on campus activities and stuff like that so that also made it difficult. But also I did not know how to study, honestly I'm not going to lie to you guys, I'm currently working on my third college degree and I still don't know how to study and sometimes that really kind of like puts things into perspective about our educational system in regards to the way that they teach towards a specific curriculum. I think that teaching students how to study is extremely important. The way that I get through my college classes is a lot of crying, and I am not being sarcastic, that is exactly what happens. I do a lot of crying, there is a lot of frustration, there is a lot of screaming at myself, there is a lot of self-bullying and personal demons that I battle with. I do not feel like I learn like everybody else, I cannot just read something or watch a video and retain information. Everything must be repetitive; I must read it over and over and over, I must highlight things and make up little phrases in order to remember topics like the Krebs cycle. So, it is repetitive, and it slows me down, it is frustrating, and the experience overall is overwhelming. Especially recently with covid a lot of my classes have been online which essentially translates to teach yourself a brand-new topic, good luck, and may the force be with you kind of thing. For people like me who deal with what my boyfriend calls “impostor syndrome” it really rattles any self confidence that I built throughout my college career and it makes me feel like the achievements that I've done so far aren't valid and that I don't deserve the degrees that I have and that maybe it was a mistake . With these things being said I just want to spread some positivity and some good vibes in regards to anybody who is a freshman going into college, a current college student, or a non-traditional student such as myself who feels like they might be too old to go back to school. Everybody is dealing with their own struggles and college is not easy, if it were everybody would have a college degree. Some tips from myself would be not to be afraid to ask questions, if you're like me, I have really bad anxiety and I don't feel like I can bring myself to ask a question during lecture in front of the class so I'll either email the professor afterwards or I will speak to the professor one-on-one during office hours or I'll try to grab her as soon as class is over before she leaves an ask her a question. The reason why I say this is because college moves very fast and the professors honestly it seems like they're not going to put any extra effort into helping you understand a topic if you don't express your confusion or if you don't understand the topic. At the end of the day you're paying for your college education and you need to create self-confidence and remind yourself that you're worthy and that your questions do deserve to be answered no matter how ridiculous they sound in your head no matter if you think that it will sound dumb. I cannot stress enough the importance of getting your questions answered. My second piece of advice is to utilize any type of group study offered, like I said before, I have really bad anxiety and it's hard for me to just walk up to a stranger and ask to be a study buddy. What I've noticed though is that a few students will get together or it will just be one student and they will start a group chat through either GroupMe or through text message or you know through canvas which is the educational platform that my University uses, and it really helps because you still have access to study guides, notes, or if you miss a day you can reach out and ask what you missed. As well as review and go over important topics and information posted. A lot of the times you don't even have to be face to face with these people, all of it is through text messaging or email. Another really good piece of advice is learn how to use OneNote and Google Docs and learn how to use it in a group format so that multiple people can work on one document together in real time so you can watch somebody else edit a midterm review while you're also adding to a midterm review it.will.save.your.life! Just spend a couple minutes, get on YouTube watch a quick tutorial nothing crazy just a quick rundown, y’all, I am telling you it will do wonders. Next piece of advice will have to be not to compare yourself to other students. My first semester of college at a four-year University I went all out on the school supplies, I bought so many journals, I bought so many sticky notes and planners and different colored pens and sharpies and highlighters. I had index cards, I had binders, I had sectional post-its, basically if office depot sold it I had it in my backpack.  I quickly learned that I did not need half of that crap, but when you're excited about going to your first year of college you want to be prepared and if you're like me I watched other people’s YouTube videos about their experiences and things that worked for them and so I tried to pick and choose what I thought would work for me. Long story short it did not  help and I think that really played a big part in my self-loathing in a sense because I would see all these other students super organized with beautiful handwriting, multi colored notes and just over the top every day, never faltering, just like the perfect student it seemed. It's okay not to be super organized, it's okay not to have the perfect notes, it's okay if all of your notes from all of your classes are in one notebook, if it works for you, it works for you.  No matter what that may be, just keep in mind that this is your college journey no one else’s. Finally, I will emphasize to invest money in a good backpack. Like do not take the backpack from high school with you, I did that, and it was a disaster honestly. It is like my dad used to say growing up, “you get what you pay for.” You are going to be carrying a lot of stuff, probably a tablet, a laptop, textbooks, journals, binders, you name it and you need support for your shoulders, for you back and for your neck. I say this from experience, my college campus is one of the largest public universities in the state of Texas, it takes me 20 minutes to get from my car to the campus, once on campus, I have another eight minute walk to get to my first class. So, it is detrimental to me and my physical health to have a good backpack with support that holds everything and equally distributes the weight correctly. I know this sounds crazy but that is probably the one thing besides getting a good laptop that I would invest a lot of money in. Lastly, I will leave you with this, college is a scary experience for many people and right now we're in very uncertain times which only adds to the stress, but I want you to know that there are resources out there for you and other students and faculty who are more than willing to work with you and accommodate accordingly. Please do not be afraid to reach out to anybody for any type of assistance whether it be academic, mental or physical help, we are all in this together. Be kind to one another and stay curious. -SLR

[rainydawgradioblog]

a covidsation with mary claire

For the first Covidsation for autumn quarter, here is an interview I did back in May with Mary Claire, my dear friend and one of my favorite local artists. Mary Claire is a singer-songwriter based here in Seattle who makes “sad girl rock” (see: Mitski, Angel Olsen, etc.). I first met them through the DIY scene and was lucky enough to book them at the finale Red Room show, a house venue I used to live at and help run. As evidenced by the picture below taken that very night, seeing Mary Claire play live is a magical, mesmerizing, captivating experience. Often accompanied with minimal, but tonally-rich instrumentals, their powerful and hauntingly stunning voice paired with visceral, poetic lyrics transport you into another realm. I *highly* recommend listening to their album Phantom Limb, which you can find on your streaming platform of choice or you can snag a physical copy at Everyday Music on the Hill like I did! Last month, they also just released an incredible stop-motion music video for their song off PL called “I Don’t Like Drinking”, directed, edited, and animated by Barb Hoffman, which you can find here! Thank you Mary Claire for these thoughtful responses and for creating such vulnerable, beautiful art <3

Lola Gil: Tell me about your project. How has it evolved? Which artists are you most inspired by? How would you describe your sound?

Mary Claire: Hi hi I’m Mary Claire. I was never someone who was playing music since they were a little kiddo, it was something I picked up my senior year of high school. But pretty much everyone in my family has some amazing and weirdly specific aptitude for music, so I think being surrounded by that kind of allowed me to gather an eclectic, personal understanding, appreciation, and internalized feeling for music, so I never really took lessons or anything like that. I enjoyed and still enjoy that from the start, I was okay with the fact that I didn’t know “academic” theory and I just played with what feels and sounds right. And I still do that. So I played around with all those youthful punk feelings and had an angsty band in high school that was not bad for small town Sacramento. I think I learned so much from that and it gave me a flood of unhindered and unhinged confidence for recording, performing, maneuvering stage mechanics and technicalities, etc. Also it introduced me into the world of songwriting that I did for that band and for myself that just immediately poured out of me, which led me to what I’m doing now. I am extremely lyrically-focused and write mostly about lived personal experience that I surrender to and make extremely overly-wordy. I went from a solo act, to a bigger full piece crunchier band, to me and a piano player, back to a solo set, so I’m really just kind of evolving with my resources, the songs I’m currently living in and playing, and with what would bring everything to life most fully. 

I’m inspired by everyone, even if I don’t necessarily sound like them or listen to them all the time. Like, my adoration for incredibly angry punk music is what got me started in the creation of my own music, so that foundation will never leave me. Even though I won’t sound like IDLES or Shame or Pissed Jeans, their point of view and their devotion to cramming so many words into one breath is a place I also come from. We execute similar feelings in different ways. And though I currently am not anything like Yves Tumor, King Krule, or FKA Twigs, the layers in their stuff sends me so far. But I think lyrically and melodically, I pull inspiration from and sink most into Mitski, Sasami, Angel Olsen, Palehound, Big Thief, Bella Porter, Darci Phenix, Fiona Apple, Sufjan Stevens, Izumi, and Weyes Blood. 

Someone once said my tunes are “sad girl rock” and I think that sticks in a fun, quick way, so that’s what I tell people. But more recently, the stuff on my upcoming album I think is like a sad, fucked up, incredibly fast-paced nursery rhyme book (lol). I’m really excited for this album I wrote, more than anything ever. Also my good friend and twin flame Francis is helping me record it and is giving me a lot of knowledge and challenges and affirmations and inspiration. I owe a lot of this second album’s production and complexity him. There are a lot more people involved in the recording of this one, so it’s a lot fuller in a new and exciting and scary way.

LG: As an artist, how have you been affected by the pandemic? I saw most of your tour you had booked was unfortunately cancelled-- are you planning on rescheduling?

MC: Rescheduling feels so completely beyond me right now, so I am just considering it to be cancelled until things in the world really start to settle down to some degree of safety and responsibility. However, the silver lining in all of this ‘rona stuff is that it has given me a ton of time to recenter myself with my music and devote my own energy into recording and feeling the core of my upcoming album. I think when the world is moving so fast, it’s easy for me to feel like I’m behind, like other people are getting shit done faster and in a more “impressive way”, in a way that matters more or has more inherent value. So when we are all forced to stay at home with ourselves, not only does it remind me that all of those insecurities are completely not real and are in fact a delusion borne from a capitalistic-productivity-equals-artistic-worth-framework, but I also get time to actually enjoy and fine tune what I otherwise might have just thrown out into the ether desperately and prematurely in hopes to be current and up to date and ~with it~.

LG: Have you been working on writing any new tunes? Have you been involved in any other creative projects recently?

MC: When I was recording Phantom Limb, I wrote the majority of my next upcoming album, so while those songs don’t feel incredibly new, there is a ton of stuff I have yet to share and that I am so eager to scream to the world. It feels like some of the stuff I am most proud of making in my entire life. 

But since I left for Berlin to study abroad last fall to when I came back to Seattle this January, I really hadn’t written anything new. I think I had been going through a lot of personal and immense change and hard growth that wasn’t particularly inspiring, it just sucked and was intense and necessary, but sometimes all that bad stuff is not something you can just make art out of. Plus I had to just do something totally different and invest and surrender to techno and being a gross city Eurotrash gremlin and let that out cathartically. But recently, I wrote my first super new song in what feels like ages, and I’m so happy. I was afraid maybe I’d forgotten how to do it, but it’s pouring out of me again and I feel like me again. I have also been working a bit back and forth with a friend from the project World Peace. We just keep sending clips back and forth and weaving our separate projects together a bit, which is something I’ve never done and I’m having a ton of fun, especially because our music is so different. Besides that, I have some plans to work with another good friend Izumi after having adored them the moment I moved here. 

LG: How have you personally been dealing with the pandemic and the craziness that is 2020? What has your quarantine experience been like so far?

MC: I went home to Sacramento for a month and watched more TV than I had probably in my entire life. It was really good to see my family and siblings who I miss so much. But I came back to Seattle in April and since then have just been spending my days in a limbo of online school weirdness. But I’m so fortunate that I live with so many people who are all so unique, all of whom I feel are my best friends. So I definitely don’t get too bored:)

LG: What music have you been listening to during quarantine? What has been your go-to isolation album?

MC: Okay to be honest, when I begin to think of my next album and what it feels like inside of me, I make one single playlist with like hours and hours of songs on it and it’s the only thing I listen to for like a year. So I’m prone to listening to the same stuff perpetually forever and always, but I think I’ve always sort of been like that. It makes the feeling familiar. But since I’ve felt close to the sounds of my upcoming album for a long while now, I’ve actually pretty much been listening to what is my ~album 3~ inspo playlist, because I already feel that beast growing inside of me. I’m a planner. 

Most of the artists on those playlists are the ones I listed above in regards to who I feel are my biggest inspirations. But right when quarantine started though I would pretty much only play Man Alive!, I would just go through the whole thing and then restart immediately. When I was in Sacramento, my family had a rule I could only play it with headphones because it was literally nonstop, that’s just how I consume things; I take a bath in them until I feel every single part of what was made. But other than that, I’ve been bumping Peter Campanelli’s Pesto Baby and crying a lot about it, Darci Phenix’s (my best bud from Sac) Juniper Street which is some of the best songwriting literally ever, and Francis Farmer’s Bruised Fruit which is SO expertly recorded and thought out, I am so lucky he is my friend and wants to record my upcoming album with me.

LG: Arethere any spring shows that you were particularly looking forward to attending that got cancelled?

MC: Pretty much all of them imaginable. 

LG: How do you think the Seattle music scene is going to be like post-COVID?

MC: Hopefully, this can recenter us and remind us we’re all really really and truly in this together. It’s up to us to lift each other up and get each other on bills and spread the word and create community for those who need it most and for those whose lives rely on this art. Seattle seems like it is really good at that on a small scale, but once it gets to a little bit larger stage, it’s easy for people to forget where they came from, who supported them, and what should be at the forefront of our radars. I think shedding this cool guy persona and getting back to why this shit is so important and listening to/PROMOTING smaller artists who are making The Best stuff is something everyone could be reminded to do. 

LG: In this funky era of social distancing, how do you think artists can support each other during these weird and difficult times? How do you think social media is facilitating and/or inhibiting connection within Seattle’s overall creative community?

MC: I think people’s ability to make what seemed like such an immediate switch to social media music promotion and shows was really amazing. However, it makes me feel a bit hopeless and dystopian and sci-fi in a weird way. That being said, trying to resist the change has only proven to be detrimental to me and kind has come back to kick me in the ass. Like, I should not be turning down opportunities just because livestreams kind of freak me out in how foreign and disconnected they can appear to be. I’m no better than them, and it’s important I think to accept things where they’re at instead of pretending they’re not happening. 

That being said, I think everyone has been maneuvering with such grace and empathy and compassion for others in a way that I can really feel, and I hope that sticks around forever. 

- Lola Gil

[sisternightingales]

inspired by marie, i’m leaning into my laziness and am gonna plop some character blurbs below!!!! i’m sorry this ended up so much longer than i anticipated lolol. 

Leandro “Leo” Weston – 26 y/o pain in everyone’s ass. That’s it, the end. 

Smart, sharp clever, charismatic, he has all the tools to do whatever he wants, he just.....doesn’t know what that is. Well, he knows it’s nothing to with The Weston Group™️, the family development company, much to his parents’ massive disappointment. Meanwhile he’s just wondering when people will stop expecting things of him already, he’d rather just take things as they come, play high stakes poker with his friends until like 6 in the morning, not really have to think about Serious Things, is that too much to ask??? [’Dancing Through Life’ plays loudly in the background].

The Westons have always been pretty serious, high brow folks – conservative and insular, buying into that whole “wealth sticks together” mentality, helping their buddies with deep pockets so long as their pockets get helped too, which sort of became engrained in Leo at a young age. He’s white, he’s male, he’s privileged, he’s everyone’s worst nightmare. He’s casual with his wealth to a sickening degree, never maliciously and usually for someone else’s benefit, but it can be incredibly disconnected and tone deaf. When creatures made themselves public knowledge, his parents lmfao reacted Poorly and, while they’ve never really come out and said like fuck creatures, they’re also kind of like fuck creatures and aren’t above using their developments to displace or disenfranchise cuz, yikes, they kinda suck. Which really doesn’t sit well with Leo, because yes, he also kind of sucks and has a lot of insensitive moments, but he doesn’t suck that much (right?? lol).

SO here he is: growing, trying to learn and educate himself re: how to not be a societal menace with his systematic privileges and just trying to be better than his parents and help people he cares about. He’s buckling down, he’s taking things more seriously. He’s getting invested and passionate about the creatures rights movement, very publicly opposing his family which he’s sure they’re fuckin’ thrilled about. He’s just trying his best ok!!!

in popular culture: logan huntzberger, sirius black, fiyero tigelaar, christopher hayden, greedling.

Tera Cota – chaos gremlin, or I guess more formally referred to as ‘faery’

Okay, so, her Christian name is not Tera Cota, but the one she chose for her human persona because 1. her faery name is too complex for peasant human tongues to say, and 2. it’s fucking hilarious, she’s fucking hilarious. So that’s lmao who she is.

Extremely unpredictable, Tera lives as a catalyst. She’s a powder keg. She does things to do things because she wants to without any thought of who it affects and how, and then likes to sit back and watch how it all goes up in flames. Like she’s the human (or faery?) embodiment of a just-struck match being thrown onto something. Let’s see what happens. She’s selfish and thoughtless, impulsive and vulgar. Aggressive and wild. True and pure faery chaos.

But she also finds humanity extremely fascinating. She loves to dick around with them in as many ways as she can, of course don’t get her wrong, but there’s also something soft about humanity that she is drawn to more than she’d want to admit. The camaraderie and human bond is bizarre and foreign and is something that she’d be interested in exploring. You know, for science. 

Currently, hanging out in the human world working in a restaurant, trolling people on social media, trying to make contact with her changeling twin brother – the other half that she’s always felt like she’s been missing oh so desperately for the last idk however many faery years old she is. Honestly, ready to just fuck shit up.

in popular culture: literally she’s just that wolf pupy twitter account