#so here's hoping that'll make it easier to finish

[xsaltburnx]

Don't leave me

Comforting Farleigh after Felix's death

Farleigh Start x female reader

a/n: I really wanted to write this because I feel like Farleigh needed someone to comfort him and tell him everything's going to be alright after he got yelled at and he definitely deserved better, poor baby, (also that's what I think the scene is about, if I got it wrong, sorry)

warning: Felix dying, swearing, everybody treating Farleigh like shit, drugs, Farleigh crying a lot

word count: 3,299

You have known Farleigh for as long as you can remember. He's always been there for you. Your rock, your shoulder to cry on, someone who knew all of your secrets and all your problems, always ready to help you. Even if it was 4 pm or 4 am, you called and he was there.

And you were always there for him. Even though most of the times you two were on different continents and hours and miles away from each other, you never let something like that ruin what you two had. Then things started getting a lot easier because Farleigh came to live in England and since then you were inseperable. Yes, you did spend quite some time at Saltburn even when Farleigh wasn't here because you were really good friends with Felix and then later met Venetia, who you've clicked with just like that. Yes, sometimes they had their own opinion on Farleigh and sometimes you hated the way they talked about him but he somehow learned how to shake that off and not take it too seriously, so you did exactly that even though deep down it hurt to listen.

When you joined Oxford university, you and Farleigh became even closer and you eventually fell in love with him. You kept it a secret for quite some time because you were afraid to talk about your feelings because you didn't want to lose him. He was your home and you weren't planning on losing that, but luckily he felt the same and that was it. He was everything you always wanted and you swore you would never let him go or do anything that would harm him or let him battle his problems alone. No fucking way.

Everything was going great. You finished another year at Oxford, celebration obviously planned there and then later at Saltburn. Summer was about to begin and you had a feeling this summer was going to be one to remember. And oh boy it was.. but for very different reasons.

"Hey baby." Farleigh walked into your dorm, closing the door behind him, his arms immedistely wrapping around your body, hugging you from behind. "Did you finish packing?" He aks gently as he looked around the room, your clothes still splatered across the floor and your bed, messier than the first night you came here.

"Shut up." You playfully hit his arm as you heard him chuckle in your ear, his lips connecting with the top of your head in a gentle kiss. "I still have so much to do, I'll never make it in time."

"Yes you will, I'll wait for you, you know I'm not leaving." He spun you around, his hands resting on your waist as he pulled you closer and hugged you tightly, one of those as you called them grizly bear hugs.

"Then help me pack?" You batted your eyelashes at him and made a pouty face, hoping it would work.

"Oh no, that's not fair, don't do that, you know I can't resis that face" He said and kissed your lips swiftly, his fingers tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. "Of course I'll help."

"Is anybody else coming with us?" You asked while folding your t-shirts, placing them neatly inside your suitcase.

"Oliver fucking Quick." Farleigh trailed off.

"What?" You quickly turned around to look at him, unsure if you heard that correctly. You obviously didn't like him, I mean Fekix though he was a very inspiring person but you and Farleigh? You didn't get the hype and always held him on his toes.

"Yeah, Felix invited him. I don't know why, something about him not wanting to go home because of his parents."

"Do Elspeth and James know that?" You asked, crossing your arms.

"Yes, apparently Elspeth is extremely excited to meet him. That'll be interesting." Farleigh closed one of your bags and placed it on his shoulder. "Damn, what do you have in here, rocks?"

"Very funny, no, all the vibrators you gave me." You said, laughing, seriousness washed over his face.

"Oh really?" He dropped the bag on the floor and grabbed your waist, hoisting your body up on his shoulder, his large hand smacking you on the ass. Your laugh echoed throughout the room, probably audible outside too, but that's how Farleigh always wanted you to be. Such beautiful laughter, it was like music to his ears, like daisies adorning a beautiful meadow. He gently put you down on the bed and laid on top of you, his thumb caressing your soft cheek.

"I love you." He whispered, a special kind of sparkle in his eyes, a smile plastered on his face.

"I love you too, Farleigh." His hot breath washed over your face, his lips slightly brushed yours before he kissed you gently, a moment of bliss before the big storm.

~ ° * ° ~

Summer at Saltburn? Always crazy and busy, but the busy part? Partying and laying out on the freshly cut grass or swimming in the pool. That was all you did there every summer. Not a bad life, you always thought to yourself, but sometimes it was nice to go back to reality and to a real life.You'd be lying if you said you didn't get used to this kind of life, the glamour, the dinner parties, dressing up,it was quite fun to a certain point. When it was too much, you and Farleigh packed your bags and left for a week or two, all alone, away from all of it. But to someone, this life was inviting them in more and more as each day passed.

And then the Cattons decided to throw Oliver a birthday party. 200 people? 300? You lost count. I mean if it's a party then it's a great idea, but for the entire night Farleigh had a very strange feeling about everything that night. He watched Oliver just skulk around almost every room in the house, people not paying too much attention to him. Most of them only knew him as "the birthday boy" but only a few of them knew his actual name. There was something strange about him, Farleigh always kept an eye on him.

...and he was right...

Around 11 am you felt someone shaking your body, trying to wake you up. You opened your eyes and saw Farleigh standing in front of you and you immediately knew something was wrong. His eyes were wide and his hands were shaking, his mannerisms completely different than how he usually is.

"What is it?" You asked and instantly sat up on the bed, fear in your eyes and in your voice, your heart suddenly picking up its pace, a sudden wave of ringing filling up your ears.

"Felix is missing." Farleigh trailed off.

"What?" You quickly got up and didn't even bother to put on shoes. You ran outisde and saw Venetia in the water, walking around, waving her hands underwater. You ran towards her with Farleigh, both of you joining her, hoping he's not in here and that he's fine. Then you heard a gut wrenching scream coming from the maze. You looked at Farleigh and instantly felt tears well up in your eyes. You shook your head and walked as quickly as possible to the edge, climbed and got up, the three of you running towards the maze.

You knew the maze like the back of your hand so it was easy to get to the center, but at that moment you wish that you could just get lost in there because what you all saw was something you would never be able to forget as it was buried inside you mind very deeply.

Felix was laying there on his stomach, golden wings still attached to his back. His body a pale colour, almost a hint of blue, his beautiful eyes now without that incredible spark that you got so used to seeing. His lifeless body was something you never thought you would have to see in your life nor did you want to but for some reason you couldn't look away.

Venetia, you and Farleigh fell to your knees, grasping onto one another, looking for comfort as tears just started coming out, the pain in your chest unlike anything you've ever experienced before. It was as if someone ripped out your heart, a huge hole right in the middle of your chest. Your ears started ringing and you felt like you were going to pass out. You suddenly felt like you weren't on this planet anymore, completely disoriented and if Farleigh and Venetia weren't grasping onto your body, you don't know how you would have dealt with this alone. You let out a loud scream, your chest convulsing from all the sobs that kept coming out of your body.

You don't know how or when you got up, left the maze and changed your clothes or when on earth did everybody gather for lunch, but there you were, sitting at the table with James, Elspeth, Venetia, Farleigh, oh and yes, of course, Oliver.

The curtains shut as the room plunged into darkness, making it look red like blood, not a hint of daylight. It somehow looked terrifying and gruesome, very unpleasant. You were sitting next to Farleigh, his face kind of emotionless as he kept staring at the table, not moving his gaze from the same spot. You reached out to him, grabbing his hand and squeezing it, making him snap out of his thoughts, a sob suddenly falling from his lips. On your left was an empty chair and an empty plate. Felix's spot and when you first walked in and saw it, you broke down again.

Suddenly there was a hint of a squeaking gurney on the outside, meaning they were passing the window with Felix's body and then there was a sound of doors closing. A tear rolled down your cheek as you closed your eyes, your hand suddenly slipping away from Farleigh's.

"Oh my God... May I be excused, please?" Farleigh whimpered and got up from the table, his cheeks stained with tears.

"No. We haven't finished lunch." James replied, not even looking at Farleigh.

"Lunch is cold. You want me just eat it like nothing is happening?"

"What else is there to do, darling?" Elspeth looked at him, sadness noticable in her eyes.

"Anything! Anything-" You looked at him as he screamed out, a whimper escaping your lips as tears started falling from your eyes again. The pain was unbearable and seeing Farleigh like that broke your heart and how everybody acted like nothing ever happened, like Farleigh was the only one who actually cared and the only one who saw how messed up it was that everybody was acting like this. James slammed his fists on the table, the plates clattering. You jumped, your body shook from fear, the sudden change in tone almost too much.

"Farleigh! Will you be quiet?! Sit down and eat the bloody pie! Just eat it! Eat it and shut up! Eat the bloody pie!"

Farleigh sat down and grabbed his fork, placing the pie in his mouth but unable to chew through the meat. Small pieces flew out of his mouth and onto the plate, a tear rolling down his cheek.

"You're not the only person here with feelings. None of us wants your bloody American feelings!" James trailed off and suddenly there was silence inside the room. You didn't even try to put anything in your mouth because you felt like you were going to throw up.

"I think it’s delicious." Oliver suddenly said, Farleigh snapping at him.

"What the fuck are you still doing here?" you look at Oliver and his expression and there was nothing on his face. Like he didn't care. You wiped away your tears and placed your hands in your lap.

"Wait, does no one else find it weird?.. No one else finds that weird?"

"Farleigh.." you whispered and placed your hand on top of his, your fingers grazing his in a comforting way.

"I wouldn’t throw stones if I was you, Farleigh." Oliver replied in a strict tone, a fork in his hand.

"Excuse me?"

"Please stop." Venetia sighed and said quietly.

"What is he saying?" James asked and looked at Oliver.

"I..I've no idea." Farleigh said, clearly confused what Oliver wanted to get with all of this.

"What I'm saying is that I'd feel guilty too."

"Guilty?"

"If I was the one racking up lines the night someone died."

"Fuck you." Farleigh stared back at him, cursing, only hate for Oliver in his body at that very moment.

"That's not a denial." Oliver replied as he leaned forward a little bit, his gaze moving between you and Farleigh.

"You took it too far, Oliver." You interrupted them, defending Farleigh.

"Is that true?" James asked, pale with fury. He looked towards Duncan signaling him to leave. "Search Farleigh's room."

"No." Farleigh crumpled into his chair and started sobbing. Now you were a little bit scared. Your eyes widened, not surely understanding what they were going to do about this situation. Seeing and hearing what was happening was making the situation even harder. You couldn't take your eyes off Farleigh and when you saw tears continuously welling up in his eyes, you couldn't help but start sobbing as well. Your heart was breaking.

"Get out." Sir James said angrily.

"Please, he didn't do anything.." You looked at Sir James, begging, trying to make him see that it really wasn't his fault and that he had nothing to do with all of this. Of course he didn't believe you, he didn't even acknowledge you.

"No, wait-" Farleigh whimpered and wiped away his tears with the sleeves of his jumper.

"What's happening?" Elspeth asked after wiping her mouth eith a linen cloth.

"Aunt Elspeth- Elspeth-" he said desperately but got interrupted by James.

"Don’t you dare look at her!"

Elspeth looked liked she was now ignoring Falreigh, not wanting to look at him at all. Could she ever look at him again after this? Who knows.

"Get out!"

Farleigh looked around the table, searching for somebody to look at him, to see they were making a mistake but no one looked at him except for you. Not even Oliver. He got up your hand slipped off, hanging next to your body. Your lip trembled at the sudden empty feeling, your head hung low as you kept staring at your fingers. Farleigh grabbed onto the chair, picking at the stitching.

"I won't mention this to the police. That's all you get. Nothing more. Ever again." James trailed off and that was the last thing you heard from him that night. Farleigh turned to the side and left the room, leaving you alone with the Cattons and Oliver. You wiped away your tears with the back of your hand.

"You didn't have to do this. It wasn't his fault." You snapped back at Oliver, his eyes quickly looking back at you. A hidden smirk adorned his face, a sinnister look in his eyes.

"You know he did it. He was racking up lines the whole night. Felix could've taken whatever Farleigh was using." Oliver replied, his plate now half empty. "Even when you two were fucking outside. It was like a freak show."

"Fuck you." You quickly got up and threw the linen clot on the table, your legs feeling like jello. "If you'll excuse me, I can't be in the room with someone who cares more about a fucking stranger than a member of this family."

You turned around on your heels and walked out of the room. The second you closed the doors, you let out the biggest sob, a long hallway making it echo throughout the house. You felt like you were falling apart from the inside out.

You stood outside Farleigh's room as you quietly knocked on the door, only a quiet sob audible. You silently opened the door and what you saw broke your heart completely. Farleigh was laying on the floor, his knees pulled towards his body, his arms wrapped around them as loud sobs fell from his lips.

You looked around his room and saw how big of a mess it was. Everything was scattered on the floor. His clothes, his books, all of his belongings on the floor. You bit your lip in hopes it would stop you from crying, but it didn't help.

You walked over to his sobbing figure and knelt down, your arms immediately wrapping around his body.

"Farleigh... baby.." you whispered, his body shaking.

"They think I killed him." He whispered through his cries, his tears soaking the carpet underneath him. "I didn't do it." His cries kept getting louder and it was harder for you to stay quiet because you couldn't stand him being like this, broken, like he didn't mean anything to anybody. Like it was all his fault. You wanted to fix everything and make it all okay for him because that's exactly what he deserved. He deserved better and to be treated right.

"No, Farleigh, you didn't do it. It's not your fault, please don't think that. You didn't kill Felix." You told him, your hands caressing his arms, comforting him, hoping it would help him even just a little bit.

"Now I feel like I did." He cried out, his face now buried in his hands.

"Hey, come here." You grabbed his arm and gently pulled him, moving his hands from his face. You intertwined your fingers with his and helped him sit up, his knees once more pulled towards his body. You wiped away his tears with your thumbs, gently caressing his cheeks before you cupped his face, making him look at you directly in your eyes.

"You didn't do it, why would you think that? Because of Oliver?" He just nooded and closed his eyes, a single tear rolling down his cheek. It felt like someone was sitting on your chest, the pressure and the pain in your heart from seeing Farleigh like this was unbearable.

"Fuck him, Farleigh. He's a nobody, a fucking leech and if I could get rid of him, I would. You're so much more than all of this. You deserve everything in this world and if they can't see it, fuck 'em." You trailed off, tears welling up in your eyes and your voice breaking every other word.

"Everybody is leaving me, pushing me away like I mean nothing." He sobbed and quickly got up as he started pacing around his room, his cries so loud that it seemed like he was fighting for air. You jumped up and stood there in place for a few seconds, somehow unable to move.

"Are you also going to leave me?" His voice cracked and right then he looked like a little kid. You dare to say that he looked absolutely defeated. "Please don't leave me."

A loud cry fell from your lips, his words hurting you, hurting how he thought that you would actually leave him after everything. You shook your head and practically ran towards him, your body smashing into his

You wrapped your arms around him tightly, your face buried in his chest as you sobbed quietly. His arms squeezed you, almost as if he was afraid if he held you lightly or if he let you go, you would somehow slip away.

"I will never leave you, Farleigh. I could never. You're a part of me and if I lose you, I'll lose myself. Please don't ever think that I would leave you." He kissed the top of your head, one hand still wrapped around your body while the other gently caressed your hair.

"Now let's get out of here. Okay?" You kissed him on the lips gently, his arms resting on your hips. You had to get out of this house, had to get away from Saltburn as soon as possible. The only good thing about all of this? Farleigh by your side.

"Okay."

[milkweedman]

TDF DAY 2 (june 30)

Onto the fancy jacob lambswool. This wool is ridiculously soft and fine even for a non-jacob fleece, but for a jacob it's almost unbelievable. Were it not for the fact that it's clearly piebald I would be very suspicious that it is actually rambouillet or some other fine wool. But it's jacob and I'm even more fond of it for that.

Anyway, for my first attempt I wanted to see how distinct I could keep the colors while still combing it all at once. I did white on one side, gray in the middle, and brown on the other side. Definitely didn't homogenize but also didn't stay distinct at all, so if I want a nice barberpole through the colors I probably need to comb each color separately and then just spin them all together.

I spun most of this one on a drop spindle until I fully destroyed my right shoulder like an idiot (an idiot who now can't raise it's hand without its shoulder dislocating instantly), and switched to supported. Supported was definitely less painful, but I'm still having the issue of not being able to keep my arm upright for long enough to make a lot of progress. So, this will need to be spun on a wheel.

Will benefit from being plied on a wheel too I think.

Mostly because it's thin enough that I really cannot visually tell how much twist I'm adding (and nor can I feel it because it's so thin and soft you really can't feel a single ply.) At least with a wheel I have an easier time being consistent, so I think I could get a much much better yarn on my wheel. That'll probably have to wait for next weekend, idk.

Anyway, here's the finished skein, steam blocked and twisted up. It's 1/10th of an ounce and 23 yards (3 grams and 21 meters). Way denser than I was hoping for. I can probably go a bit thinner, but I did think my average with this fleece would be thinner right off the batt.

Not sure how I'm going to go about spinning the rest of tdf. Maybe I'll try waking up early (well... earlier. I already wake up at 5am for work) to spin before I leave. I don't seem to be able to use spindles anymore without extreme pain... problem is the same is also true to an extent of my wheel. My body is such a piece of buzz killing garbage, but whatever. I will figure something out as I am not yet emotionally ready to have to quit doing tdf. Probably next year I will not have a choice, but hey ! Not thinking about it.

Probably gonna spend the rest of the day knitting something with this laceweight to see how it works up.

[sweetlikehoneystingslikeabee]

can we get the rogues party finding out their s/o is dyslexic?

Rogues Party with Dyslexic S/O

Okay! These are shorter given the subject. I do not have dyslexia, so if I make mistakes, let me know so I can learn/fix.

TW: none

Riddler

His partner asks him one too many times how to spell something. It's not a problem! Not at all, he gets to show off- But he does end up asking and it comes about.

Unfortunately he has to come to terms with the fact they probably didn't tell him out of fear he would equate it with low intelligence. He will quickly remedy that. Their brain just works a little differently, is all!

If theres a machine or device he can make to help, he's doing it. Just say the word and it'll be done.

Penguin

He first notices because his love tends to avoid certain work, instead having a device read aloud for them as they try their best to focus on it. One of the goons makes a side comment about it and brings it to Oswalds' attention.

He asks plainly if it's because of a need or simply to make things easier. When they tell him why they use it, he buys them a special scanning pen for dyslexia. The best on the market, gift wrapped for them.

Anything else? You just need to ask.

Mad Hatter

Honestly, no matter how he finds out about it, he takes it as an excuse to read books aloud to his partner. He'll read out loud whatever you want, really, but now you can both enjoy an intimate Alice in Wonderland reading together.

Scarecrow

He has an idea but chooses to let his s/o confirm it.

He's pretty neutral about it. If they ask him why, he'll state how common it is. That doesn't make it not important, but it's not something that changes how he perceives you or how he would treat you. He'll support you how you need him to.

Victor Zsasz

Literally doesn't notice until he's told. Doesn't care much after. Unless it's effecting you in a way he can assist, he doesn't think about it.

Killer Croc

Look, he finished high school later in life, so he was definitely behind education wise. While he doesn't have dyslexia himself, he relates since dyslexia can have that effect.

Fuck anybody giving you problems about it, okay? Anyone tries to make them feel bad for issues they might have, he's there to back them up.

Harley Quinn

She first notices when her s/o is having trouble telling left from right, a common symptom. That along with other things shes noticed, it all clicks.

Why didn't you tell her, lollipop? She wouldn't have judged them! Maybe you just didn't think it was a big deal. She hopes that's it. She'd be a little hurt if you intentionally thought she'd be a jerk about it.

Poison Ivy

They trip over a word several times and Pamela tries to help by showing them the word on her phone. Its then and there they tell her how they're dyslexic. Ah.

It's not likely to come up often unless she notices you mispronouncing something or misspelling. Then it's a polite correction if it's the two of you. Better here in private than someone getting fresh later.

Two-Face

Harv is in the camp of "I only care if you do" while Harvey wants to be as accommodating as possible. Do you know the wonders of... 🌟graphic organizers?🌟

Genuinely, Harv just doesn't want to make it weird for you. He knows what it's like when people hyperanalyze a way you're different from them and make it awkward. None of that for you if he can help it.

Harvey is a giant nerd and a problem solver so he's going to be making new solutions you've never even thought of.

Black Mask

It comes out when he makes fun of them for reading slowly. "What, you need help or something?" And is going to feel like the biggest fucking asshole when they tell him. As he deserves.

He makes up for it by being especially defensive against anyone else. Yeah, they need to take their time, you got a problem? There's at least one bullet in his jacket that'll solve that for you!

Mr. Freeze

At first it begins out of irritation as they forgot an important date. Again. It seems to be a frequent issue but considering he himself is timely and never forgets a date of theirs...

it all comes out at once and immediately makes sense. He apologizes for being too harsh or cold. Now that he knows it's not a lack of trying, he's going to be as helpful as possible wherever they might need it.

Ras al Ghul

Noticed almost immediately based upon a variety of symptoms but never says anything until they bring it up. Its their business and news. He has all the time in the world for them to tell him.

There's quite frankly a lot of his home that wouldn't be the most accessible for someone with dyslexia. It's hard enough reading in a language you know, try reading instructions for a dead language and then trying to explain it!

He will, however, do his best to make sure in his home, his beloved is doing alright.

Bane

Like scarecrow, he knows the signs and has his suspicions but decides to not say anything. One, what if he's incorrect/his s/o isn't diagnosed and he just makes them self conscious? Two, he figures if they want him to know, he'll know. His own trust issues in the past has caused him to keep things until he felt ready. He understands.

He has no problem being something of a "translator" when needed. You don't give him guff when he makes the occasional mistakes in English, he's not going to give you any because of brain mix ups.

[wordsandrobots]

Had a pretty bad day so I'm going to boast about something.

I didn't mention it at the time but posting Chapter 14 of Ragnarök in G Minor on Friday took it past the previous high bar for individual Wishing on Space Hardware fic-length set by The Ares Affair (72,872 words vs 69,850). And this latest story isn't even halfway done. That'll come next week, and take the total word count for the series over 550,000 words.

(I'm hoping to land at about 555,000 because who wouldn't?)

Which is nice, and a good reminder of why, exactly, it took me half a year longer than expected to get Ragnarök finished. Because that did kind of disappoint me, but looking at it like this, it makes sense. There was a *lot* to get through to tie the overarching story together and give everybody some sort of key moment. My problem with writing fic for Iron-Blooded Orphans is that I want to write about ALL of it, and every single character, so it was probably inevitable that it wouldn't conclude with anything less then a doorstop of a fic.

Chapter 14 also marked the end of the character arc I started with the first IBO fic I wrote and I want to write a brief commentary on that. I'm planning a proper 'author's note' essay when the whole series is done, but this . . . this is something more specific.

(Behind a cut because it is talking about endgame stuff for Wishing on Space Hardware, which is already a post-canon fic for Iron-Blooded Orphans, so, yeah. Take heed and beware ye spoilers.)

I can't remember when exactly I decided one of the climaxes was going to be a three-way fight between fun-house mirror versions of the Devil of Tekkadan. Like much of WoSH, it fell out of the ever-expanding churn of ideas IBO left me with. But it's an obvious thing to do: take the legacy of the anime's protagonists and fracture it against itself for the sake of drama. Because whatever else, we are talking about a group of deeply traumatised child soldiers and there remains the potential for a lot of bad things to follow the hopeful ending of the show.

Embi is all the worst parts of Tekkadan. Violent, arrogant, selfish, reckless -- he's the vessel into whom I poured all that and more, to the point of having him actively reject the better parts. Heart-sickened by the death of his brother, the bonds of comradeship fray until he can't stand the sight of his former squad-mates, much less the miraculous returnee from the dead who catalyses the events of WoSH. At the same time, he can't stay at his worst. He struggles with new connections because they threaten to pull him from his grief. He doesn't want to move on. Embi roots himself in an old dream of being like Mikazuki, in the life of a mercenary soldier. Fighting is all he knows and beyond it lies the terrifying prospect of hope and trying. He'd have much preferred to burn up over Mars. At least that would have been a safely familiar ending.

Ordsley suffers the myth of Tekkadan, transformed by people who saw what a group of Martian children 'achieved' and wanted to surpass them. Yet the curse inflicted on him -- for he is of course a werewolf, turning with the influence of the crescent moon -- is to become unwilling legatee of Mikazuki's reality: the beast and the boy, the contradictory dreams of someone trapped by a system that sees people as raw material. For the smart young man at home on the proper side of history, it's a hell of a shock to reckon with the humanity of those condemned for their rebellion. Here, finally joining the survivors on the battlefield they once called home, the pieces click, for at least a moment. There are no easy answers in a world that offers children a choice between killing and starvation, but perhaps in the middle of the fray, it is easier to understand why they call each other friend.

Then there's Shino. The lovely, blood-thirsty himbo I thought it would be interesting to pluck from his canonical fate.

I know when I decided to shatter his prosthetic. The middle of last year, after reading writing by amputees, talking about how they are depicted, how that feeds and feeds off narratives fundamentally disconnected from their lived experiences. Still, I don't want you to get the wrong idea. I'm not trying to speak to those experiences. The canon has sci-fi prosthetics. It's detached from the real world. It's just, the ways it also problematises them . . . the way, particularly with the addition of 598 and his cybernetic eye, that dovetails with the propaganda drive from militaries to gift high-tech limb replacements to those mangled in the course of fighting . . . I don't regret pushing myself to dip my toe in those waters.

You see, I wanted to tie together the strands of Shino's trauma. His instinctive reach for quid pro quo in his relationship with Yamagi, finally answered with the truth of everything positive he left behind on his first 'death'. His great bête noire, that failure of his last-ditch effort to save Tekkadan, coming full-circle as he's given another chance, another challenge, met this time with greater experience and maturity, and the knowledge of when not to fight. Third-best no longer, bolstered by all those who taught him what it takes to fly.

And as he gets to prove his mastery -- in ways beyond Embi's suicidal commitment and Ordsley's engineered supremacy -- he also reckons once more with that pernicious belief he is only fit to fight.

There isn't an answer, you know. Those doubts about ourselves, those demons, don't go away even when we let them go. We just learn to carry on regardless. To accept the possibility that we can live anyway, and to stop throwing the best parts of ourselves under the bus in our rush to distance ourselves from the worst.

So the arm is smashed to bits, the fate of the mobile suit pilot, the soldier, the body spent in violence. But Shino finally sees his younger self in a positive light and does what nobody else was able to for Embi: tell him it's OK to leave. Whatever it takes to be happy, even if that's a million miles away. He treats Ordsley as Ordsley, not Mika 2.0, reinforcing Ordsley's newfound balance. Above all, throughout everything, he is not alone. This final fight is spent with Eugene right at Shino's side, backing him up, trusting him. The Ryusei-Go is Tekkadan as a community, the part that truly never wilted. Because the reason Shino can have this moment of catharsis is that he is loved. So many people, building him up, giving him a future.

Everything he would do for them, unhesitatingly, and has, more times than he will ever realise.

I don't know if it's character development, exactly. Honestly, I don't know if the chapter actually encapsulates these things the way I wanted it to. I've read it too many times to see it straight any more and, even with a lovely band of readers I am privileged to have commenting, I'm doubting myself a lot these days. I don't sit well on my laurels, with the things I've completed, the word counts and the tick-marks. I worry it's still not enough. Put a fair of myself in Shino, there.

But I think it's good. I think it came out the way I wanted it to. I think it's the right thing for the story, to take a giant mecha battle, the tragic, inevitable conflict, and flip it around into an act of firefighting. I think I should be proud I got here, even if I never expected to when I first sat down at my keyboard to explain why the hot bisexual anime boy was still alive, actually.

So I'm make a note, to myself, that I did. That I should be proud. That I am, of me, for doing that.

And if you're reading this and you're going to be reading the rest of the story -- I'll just say, Shino himself is going to tell you why his vivid pink robot arm needed to be demolished by a giant sword. There'll be another, eventually (they do have a cyberneticist on speed-dial), but for now, well. You'll see.

[bloggingboutburgers]

Do you have any advice for someone traveling to Europe from the US for the first time?

Hi!! I'm so so sorry for replying so late TwT This week's been messy!! I hope I'm not too late TwT

Seeing as I'm the European one in my long-distance relationship with my queerplatonic partner, and THEY've had to come to Europe from the US for the first time to visit me, I took the liberty of asking THEM for some advice, which I feel would be more accurate^^ They've given a lot of input, so everything's under the cut! (Many thanks to them <3)

Okay I'm just going to be transparent here. If you're traveling to Europe by yourself, then be mindful of any testing or documentation needed for that travel. ( Good starting point is here [https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/international-travel/before-you-go/travelers-with-special-considerations/schengen.html]) It's always good to make sure you have them at the ready since the international airport of where you live, will most likely check that when confirming your check in. Currently from my understanding, people from the United States will need the European Travel Information and Authorization System (ETIAS) in order to come in to the EU. ( website over here [https://travel-europe.europa.eu/etias_en]) That starts January of 2024. However, once you have it, it's good for three years. They're not accepting applicants at the moment but it's important to have that at the ready if you are planning to visit in the next following year and onwards. Aight, so that's the whole technical aspect of it. Here's like genuinely wish someone told me when I traveled by myself to Europe.

[16:37]Bruh, I underestimated how long the flights are. Absolutely get a airline that provides food regularly because you'll definitely be needing it or bring some food with you. The hunger factor gets to you! Also water, please do get that! During those flights, I've had window seats and they've been serving me well! Like honestly if the section is going for the restroom, you follow the herd, just to make it easier. Also, gauge if ya can chat with your seat neighbors! They've been pretty cool from my experience! (My first ever flight to Europe, there was a couple with a service dog with them! They kindly allowed me to pet the dear but sadly had to move to a better seating for them. Which I respected! Though as a result I had a whole lane for myself! Boi the leg space was a god send! Gosh! Yeah! The leg space in economy is cramped! In all transparency, I'm petite! I fit fine but for my fellow average and up companions...yeah it's a bit uncomfortable. Just be sure to do stretches before and after the flight!) Let's see...I've brought my own head phones which was solid for the movies provided at the flight and if you want some music while you read! I finished vol 1-3 of "The Adventure Zone: Balance" when I first visited with some nice tunes! Then I read some long fanfics from AO3, which were super solid. Nonetheless, whichever is most comfiest for you to spend hours doing for entertainment with slight constant movement is more power to you! It's okay to give yourself options too! Hmmm...once you land, at least where I landed, there was small letterings in English that assist in directing your way through the airport. Though more often than not, there's veterans that just know their way and usually the crowd is heading the same way. So know where your going but usually if you follow the herd of peeps heading to customs, ya know ya have arrived. Gosh, okay, I'll stop right there! Thank you for reading my Ted talk!

That's for my partner's advice! And as for a bit of mine:

Definitely don't forget about the ETIAS document if that'll apply to you. It's a fairly quick process but it's crucial.

Don't expect a great level of English proficiency everywhere in Europe. It can vary from country to country. Typically countries that speak latin languages (like France, Italy or Spain) tend to be less fluent in English and you'll have more trouble Englishing your way there. Of course, that's all evolving with time, but yeah.

...Overall honestly that's the European in me talking but don't expect too much from Europe Europe is kinda mid /j /hj

[lavellenchanted]

I would love to know more about Steggy Fake dating!!

So this is a multi-part AU that started with a very quick off-the-cuff ficlet for Steggy Week back in 2018 but then spiralled when people seemed to enjoyed it! It's based on the premise of broke flatmates Steve and Peggy faking being in a relationship for a paid study so they can make rent that month, and shenanigans ensue because of course they have feelings for each other.

I've got up Parts One, Two, Three and Four on here, and Part Five is currently languishing in WIP hell but I do noodle on occasionally. I would ideally like to finish it off and then polish up the first couple of parts and get it up on AO3 as a proper multi-chap fic but who knows when that'll happen.

Here's the start of Part Five:

Dr Helen Cho is a doctoral student, who explains as she lets Steven and Peggy into her office that she’s running this study as part of the research for her thesis - which uses a lot of complicated language but  Steve eventually understands is, essentially, exploring the psychology of intimacy.  In his mind he had conjured an image of someone clinical and dispassionate in a white lab coat with a clipboard, but Dr Cho’s in jeans and a tailored navy blue blazer, a university lanyard around her neck and a pen tucked behind her ear, just visible where her hair is swept back into a knot at the base of her neck. Her eyes are warm and she clearly cares about her subject. “That’s why we’re focusing on romantic couples first - moving from dating to cohabiting will naturally impact how intimacy develops and is experienced, but I’m not just looking at it from a romantic perspective. I’m also planning on running studies on platonic and familial relationships as well,” she says, gesturing for them to sit in the chair opposite her desk, while she settles herself and readies her laptop for taking notes.  Steve can’t help thinking that if she had started with her platonic study first, he would have been saved a lot of bother. Although he supposes that, strictly speaking, platonic might not the best word to use for a friendship where one side is trying to conceal the fact that they’re in love with the other. “That’s also why you two make such a fascinating case to have as part of the study, as a couple that cohabited platonically before you started a romantic relationship,” Dr Cho continues. “I’m very interested to see how your data will compare with our other couples.” She smiles at them, clasping her hands on the desk in front of her, and has such a poised, confident air that Steve is immediately sure she’s going to see straight through their lying. Which, honestly, would be no more than they deserve; now that he’s met her, he cannot help feeling a twist of guilt that they’re potentially jeopardising her study by lying to her, and he fervently hopes what they’re doing won’t completely skew her data. Maybe she can sense his discomfort, or maybe she’s just trying to act the part, but whatever the reason Peggy reaches across to lace her fingers with his and rest their joined hands on his thigh. The weight is warm and reassuring - albeit a little distracting - and grounds him enough that his shoulders lower and some of the tension seeps out of him. They’re doing this because they’re desperate, he reminds himself. It’s this, or an eviction notice. “Well, we can’t wait to get started,” Peggy says. “Great. Let’s just get straight into it, shall we? This will just be an informal conversation, so I can get to know you outside what you put in your applications and learn more about your relationship. Then I’ve put together a questionnaire for you to take home and fill in separately before the next session. Are you both happy for me to record this?” “Record it?” Steve repeats warily. “Yes, just audio, not on camera.” Dr Cho holds up a dictaphone. “It makes it easier for note taking and means I can replay your answers - it won’t be shared with anyone, nor will there be any copies.” “Oh, well, sure, I guess.” Steve glances at Peggy who nods, seemingly completely at ease with the whole process. A few moments later, the recording has started and Dr Cho has her fingers hovering over her keyboard, set to type as they speak.  “So - you’ve been dating for eight months, but you’ve been living together for a year, is that correct?” “Yes, that’s right.” “Did you know each other before you started living together?” Peggy shakes her head. “No. I only moved to New York a year ago, to study law at Columbia, and I answered Steve’s listing looking for a roommate. We’d never met before that.” “Have either of you ever cohabited with a romantic partner before?” “No,” Steve says, but at the same time Peggy, a flush stealing over her cheeks, says in a clearly reluctant voice, “. . . Yes."

[tuulikannel]

I almost forgot that @lazytoufu (she's got her old username back, yay!) asked about all my wips, not just AC ones. So here's two Hikaru no go ones.

Heian_ghosts is a continuation to my long fics about Sai's life & death. I had all but forgotten about it... and here's the question: what should I do with this fic? It's actually finished. There's 50k words of it. Just, I always felt that it's way too slow and I planned to edit it some day... but given that I had forgotten it's existence for past five years or whatever, I wonder if that'll ever happen.

So now I'm thinking that maybe I should just publish it. It's called either just Ghosts or then Ghosts - living and dead, I'm not quite sure yet. It's basically about Hikaru and Akira (and a young Abe no Seimei who's also a part of the story) dealing with the consequences of all that happened in the earlier fics.

chicagoseq is pretty much exactly what the name suggest, an untitled sequel to my Hikaru no go & Dresden Files crossover, Chica-go. I doubt it'll be ever written, though... In it, Hikaru returns to Chicago years later together with Akira. He's hoping that introducing Akira to a real wizard would make it easier to tell him about Sai.

Akira is going along, a little confused, a lot jet lagged. They came to Harry's home - or at least where it used to be. Those who know, this takes place some time after Cold Days... so yeah, things have kinda changed. A lot. XD

Here's a little snippet. ^^ Akira's pov.

“Well.” The headache was intensifying. “If you’re done staring at this building, maybe you could tell me what you were expecting to find here?” “My friend’s home,” Hikaru said quietly. Akira twitched. This building wasn’t old – but it hadn’t been built yesterday, either. “You mean you didn’t know your friend has moved? When were you last in contact with him? Or is it her?” he asked with growing annoyance. Damn it, he had traveled to the other side of the world, he had the right to know at least something, didn’t he? “Both, really,” Hikaru said. “That is… I was exchanging letters with her, and she told me how he was doing, but… I’ve not heard of her for a while.” “How long a while?” Akira asked with forced patience. “Well, I… did get a card from her… uh, about a year ago? She said she was really busy with some new job she had…” “A year ago?!” Akira exclaimed. Then he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Okay, so. If your friends aren’t here, how do we find them?” “Umm, I think we should…” Hikaru blinked at the street, as if only now realizing the taxi was gone. “Get a taxi…?” “You will pay for it this time,” Akira muttered as he dug out his phone to call for one.

[grokebaby]

Okay more attention for Mewmew as well time to make a wall of text talking about em.

Can you imagine how hard it must be to remain optimistic and cringily whimsical in a world like this? Especially with the kind of life Mewmew has faced? M joined the galactic alliance initially to, ykno, play heroics when times were different, mew was younger and the world felt easier to conquer (in the non evil way ofc). Then splash, witness mass death, large scale disasters and violence. Did you know Mewmew never told the alliance m had the normal cat form? That's how m was able to move on to a different, more peaceful life. Can you imagine the scoffs, eyerolls, condescendion and covert bullying one gets when they talk in Uwuish naturally, can you imagine trying to train yourself out of it? Out of the way you feel most comfortable talking in?

Quite literally hiding the softer side of yourself from others to remain strong and retain respect from your peers.

Evilicus was of course the meanest about any mannerisms or speech style Mew let slip but that'd be expected of a nasty personality like them. But the people who are supposed to work beside you, quipping about it even after knowing that that's just how you naturally talk, for some time now? Ouch.

Imagine, Mewmew having to exist beside stern serious faces who lament about the poor state of the world, as if it's the default? As if it's how it always will be? Imagine, being told how naive and, frankly, stupid you are for believing otherwise. "Maybe you're not suited to working here" they told mew, because m had the audacity to say No, the world is a very beautiful and hopeful place, and living beings don't naturally default to selfishness. No, not even demonic entities. "I'm sure-" Mew said, "I'm sure even Evilicus' goons laugh and live a little between battles, I'm sure of it! I'm sure they don't all hate the world and wish for destruction, of course they don't! I'm sure, many of them are scared and tired!"

"Well, that's too bad", they replied to Mew. "Doesn't change the situation, and there's nothing we can really do about it".

Yeah, obviously. But are you people allergic to acknowledging it? Stop celebrating over seas of corpses just because they belong to the opposing side. "They're monsters! We're allowed to feel accomplished for saving this lot!" - at the cost of lives. Thinking, feeling lives. "It's war. Get used to it"

"Maybe I don't want to get used to it.." Mew thought. Too late to back out just yet, though. Evilicus' powers grow by the day, and it's too big of a risk to ignore. "Just this one." Mew thought, "Just take care of this one, then you can leave and finally see a happy face around. Then you can rest. The world just needs to be saved, and this threat detained." m told mewself every night. Then - Maybe then, mew can go back to being ms most genuine self. The one that talks in nyas with a straight face.

Evilicus is defeated, great work team! Time to finish them.

What? Like, kill them?

Obviously. Imagine how much suffering Evilicus caused. Obviously kill them. They deserve it.

"Regardless of if they do -" Mew argued "It doesn't fix anything now! We need to focus on rehabilitation over punishment!"

Seriously, Mewmew? That's insulting.

"Is it..?" is it so insulting to want all life - evil, wicked, nasty life too, to have it's own value? No matter what? Does the value of your life decrease the more you hurt people? Is it really equality if your value can decrease through your actions? Is that humane?

"Just this one", mew thought. "Save one life more, and then you can go home and be done with it." save Evilicus, and that'll be the last heroic deed you do, Mew told mself. And then you'll have done enough world changing, and can focus on simply making people smile.

And that persistent, hardheaded mf kitty did it. Mewmew saved one more life, arguably the most wicked of all, the one least deserving of a hero. Rest well earned.

But it's not so cut and dry, is it? Nothing really is. Evilicus now lives - on unwanted time ofc. Someone doesn't simply disappear after being defeated (no matter how much they'd want to). Evilicus shows up, and of course, time to still help this one wicked, nasty life to carry on. Patch them up, feed them, and send them off again. Then Mewmew can rest easy once more, knowing m didn't leave a helpless person (a wicked, horrible person) to suffer and potentially, slowly die.

But it's not so simple, is it? It never fucking is. Evilicus is an asshole, frankly, and wears Mewmews patience to the minimum, even outright hurting em in the process. Why do you still bother. Why are you still so fucking kind. Aren't you tired of it.

And Mewmew says "No, I'm not. I won't get tired of being kind. That's impawsible!"

But nothing is impawsible, as Mewmew used to say.

However, it pays off, doesn't it? Imagine, being nice and decent to the worst person you know, it does actually make a difference. You can actually make a difference. Imagine. Evilicus can indeed feel remorse. You can't believe it either but it's happening?

Mewmew finally sighs a small sigh of relief. Maybe now, we can rest easy. Could you imagine?

[slytherinshua]

He's just precious. I definitely need to watch some of his live performances! I love it when artists really get into the music. Yechan is quite fun to watch, he seems to get quite into it. And Wonsang!! I love it when he is making faces while playing bass (generally I'm reacting the same way to his parts ahaha)

People are honestly so tough to deal with sometimes lol. I'd become a recluse if I could ahaha. I was talking about this with my brother once, when I finally have enough money to move out (not anytime soon 😭) I NEED to live with someone else. Partly for safety, but also because if I don't I'll become a hermit and never leave ahaha (also because I despise cooking and there is a very real possibility that I'll just starve instead lol). I'm glad you enjoy talking to me, I do too! (Feel free to message me anytime too!)

That's exciting, I hope it goes well!! Are you working towards grades or anything? Or do you just go along with music that you want to learn? Lessons on zoom seems interesting, online classes were hard enough sometimes so music lessons must have been something else. It is literally so hard to find motivation to practice! Like I want to be better, but I don't want to practice ahaha. Although I use to really have to practice because my mum taught me for a while so she'd definitely know if I didn't 😭

Oh wow you were so close to them!! I'd probably forget to how to pose as well, although I can't really pose in general without it being awkward lol. That's really cute that he was telling you what he was going to do

i remember my favourite hyunsang song (or maybe favourite song of all time in general) is snowflake and i watched the live of it and there's this one part where he looks back at his band/orchestra behind him and just smiles so widely before he goes up onto the lifted platform to do his guitar solo AND IDK IT MADE ME EMO CAUSE I NEVER SEE THAT BIG SMILE FROM HIM HES SO CUTE (here if u wanna see it btw)

yechan is always so mesmerizing to watch he gets SO into the music and playing you just can't take your eyes off of him!! wonsang always has fun with it and dances, smiles so wide, or focuses really hard when hes doing hard parts on the bass i just love him i could talk about him all day

yeah and its pretty bad i don't have like any interaction irl its all online and im kinda thankful for that because its a lot easier to deal with interactions online than in person its a lot less stressful 😭😭 but i never go outside i swear 😭😭 i feel like i would get so lonely if i was living alone even though i don't tend to think of myself as someone who needs in person social interaction... but i think it would build up and hit hard if i no longer had people around me to talk to even a little every day like my family.... hehe i will its so fun to talk to you ^^

rn i do plan to take another music exam probably grade 6 since that'll be the easiest to do. i need it for a high school credit so we'll see how it goes. i've done grade 3 and grade 5 in the past and got first class honors both times i think but it's still extremely stressful i think i cried both times lmao 😭😭 technically im more grade 8 or 9 piano but i don't want to do a higher level when i don't need to and haven't been playing for a year so we'll see how grade 6 stuff goes.... online lessons for piano were interesting for sure 😭😭 it was harder to do stuff like ear training and having the teacher not like exactly there with you made it harder to progress... i also forgot abt my piano lesson times a lot and would oversleep 💀 i really lost motivation to practice around the same time i was getting burned out because of school idk... back in 2020 i was so motivated with piano i would practice so much and that's actually why after i finished my grade 5 exam i progressed like 3 levels right after. i remember getting the grade 6-7 books but all the pieces were so easy in them all of sudden just cause of how much i practiced lol. but now i think i'm gonna struggle a bit to pick things back up before it gets easy again. damn having your mom as your teacher must've been hard but also nice in a way i assume?? i remember my mom used to bribe me with stuff to get me to practice, and one time i wanted to quit and she would not let me which was good cause i would've regretted it so hard but at the time i was not happy that i couldn't quit 😭😭

i remembered a pose for the second pic we took but for the first one my mind was just so blank, party cause i didn't know we were gonna do group photo immediately and also cause sangyeop was RIGHT there talking to ME. like he literally told me to sit i prob would've been fine if he hadn't spoken but like he did so ITS HIS FAULT FR 😭 i wanted to follow the pose he said he was gonna do and i did for the second pic since he said a heart pose but like damn my brain didn't want to understand what a flower pose was....

[icedmetaltea]

Health anxiety: something is wrong Me: no dude lol you're being dramatic everything is fine Body: randomly develops a nut allergy (?) Body: blood pressure consistently 130-150/80-110 at night for some reason Body: suddenly can't tolerate yogurt- including lactose free Body: Mysteriously loses 1-2 lbs per week when not on diet past month Body: constant anxiety even when not pmsing Health anxiety: come on man Me: EVERYTHING IS FINE EVERYTHING IS FINE EVERYTHING IS FINE WE'RE DEFINITELY NOT GETTING CANCER OR HEART DISEASE OR ANYTHING AHAHAHAHAHAHA

(incoherent venty stuff below, tw for suicidal thoughts and just... idk weird psychosis type stuff ig)

I can't even go to the doctor cause agoraphobia and like... even then they just blame everything on anxiety. Even when my BP is this erratic, anywhere from 110/60-156/110, and I can't make a telehealth appointment for some goddamned reason that they won't explain

And I don't know if they'll sign that form so I can get ebt and ya know not starve (I sent it via email but I got said email from a static-filled call so I don't even know if it's the right address or if they'll do it digitally)

And from the sounds of things they won't make me a note to file for a tuition appeal so I'll be saddled with a $700 fine that'll go to collections if I can't pay it by december WHEN I HAVE $600 IN MY BANK and I need it to pay for basic living essentials till I can get approved for SSI IF I even can which will take at LEAST 6 months

and everything adds up, toothepaste, paper towels, laundry soap, dish soap, sponges, trashbags, pads... the list goes on and it adds up so fast

And nobody aside from the therapist has shown any goddamned empathy for me when I've made calls, it reaaaally feels like the doctors and nurses just hope I kill myself, cause it'd be easier for them, cause I'm a burden, cause it's easier for me to die than for them to make me a telehealth appointment or sign a goddamned 1-paper form so I can fucking feed myself and not be saddled with debt

it'd be so much easier for everyone

I've been thinking about blowing my brains out all day. it used to be just when I was pmsing but it's been pretty much all month when my imaginary friend isn't distracting me with stupid shit and/or age regressing to cope

I just think, sure the gun would be expensive but then I wouldn't have to worry about money anymore, or panic attacks, or being a financial burden to my mom, or being a disappointment, or PMDD, or sleeping till 4pm when the depression gets bad, or anything

Nothing at all. Just blackness. Or maybe there's something after death, idk. Maybe I'm going to heaven or hell, but either way hopefully things just... are different there. No more capitalism. No more mental health shit. No more jobs and school and people working just to work and then die, no more of your worth getting judged by how smart you are or how valuable you are as a wage slave

No more heart pounding, no more gasping for air for the 20th time as I try to sleep, no more walking around in dreams where I feel like a ghost (and yet I look forward to it bc at least it's... different. It's somewhere than isn't here) no more waking up disappointed that I even woke up

No more thinking about how my parents are gonna die someday and then I'll really be alone

No more thinking about how my sibling left me

No more thinking about how my best friend left me

No more anything

I don't expect to make it to the end of this year. I don't know when I'll do it but it's kinda a given. I should've just let myself freeze to death back in December like I'd originally planned. At least I could die to something I loved. Why'd I bother sticking around? What have I gained? I'm just living to live

What, to finish all those books? I have hundreds, I'll never finish them all

To finish that game? I'll never finish that either

To get on SSI? I probably won't even be approved before trump takes power (be honest with yourself, you know he will. A war's coming and it ain't lookin good for people like us. He wants people like us dead)

It's so dark and lonely tonight. I have a billion thoughts in my head and it's supposed to be better now bc it's not my luteal or follicular phase... I can't even have the one good week I'm supposed to have PMDD-wise

I just can't stop thinking about how much better everything would be without me. And idk I feel kinda in a way like said imaginary friend is like... idk shutting down my body somehow. Cause even they know it's for the best. I know that's just psychosis brain talking cause they're not real but at times like these I wonder

But man, I wish if that was the case they'd make it quick and painless. A gun would be easier, just saying. Oh but it'd be too loud, make too much of a mess, blah blah blah... it's quick and effective. Sure it might not work and turn me into a vegetable. Prolly wouldn't though. It works more often than hanging/blood loss/jumping. I know they don't want me gone but even they have to admit it's about time. They've known it for a long time. I should've frozen to death. It would've been quick in 0 degree weather. We could've listened to music. Mom and dad wouldn't have found us till morning.

But no. Just had to chicken out

Ugh

[joe-england]

Reminiscing

This is an old picture, drawn way back in 2014.  Almost ten years, then.  It still applies!  I'm still so grateful you're all here, willing to help this clumsy semi-functional cartoonist out.  Sometimes it feels like most of that time's passed overnight, slipping by like a breeze.  But not this last year.  2023 has felt like one of the longest years of my life.

Like I've said, there've been a lot of family matters demanding my attention.  I guess I could blame my lack of progress partly on those obligations pulling my time.  But I don't really want to blame anything right now, or make excuses, or beat myself up like I usually do, or think about the tough stuff, and how it's probably not going to get any easier any time soon.  I want to be glad for what I've gotten, the steps we've made.  A lot of it thanks to you!  I want to look forward to things.  And there is a lot to look forward to.  Witch Warp is calling next year.  I insist.  I think I was waiting for the perfect premier date, and I can't imagine a better day than February 29th.  Get it?  It's warpy!

But obligations are calling at the moment, I don't even have time to write much.  I was hoping to have some nice new picture finished, but that'll have to wait.  Right now I just want to wish you a very happy holiday, whatever you celebrate, whether or not you celebrate, and hope for all the best for all of us today and tomorrow.  It's crazy out there, and we need all that good hope and love that we can get.  So thanks so much for being here, and for being you.  And if 2023's tragedies have hit close to your home, then let's find a better new year soon, together.

Doctors Without Borders

Save the Children

Alliance for Middle East Peace

- Joe

[despair-to-future-arcs]

This is huger than I thought!

This seems like a huge concern from the looks of it, the fact Jin let this happen at all...

So are we going to continue to investigate all this - it seems important and I think we should, sir.

I do believe so, Biju - how long do you think it would take you to get through all this bank information?

Given we just started on the 80's, I think it should take a day or 2 to finish this but I'll need help with cross referencing of who was suppose to attend Hope's Peak Academy and who wasn't.

Well... maybe me and Koichi could assist you here; after all given Junko mention my family's name I think going to the archives of the Esumi Papers and confirming who was suppose to attend would help.

Yeah so if ya need some help there, we could go through all this and help ya with this information.

Thank you - I think that'll make my work load much easier and can help us with a proper list.

And how long do you think this will take you all?

Well there's a lot of files to go through and to write a proper list, I say about a few weeks to a month - yet again, anything can change with the investigation so will be sure to update as much as we can.

So you can leave this to us and will get back to you guys once we organize everything.

Thank you 3, best of luck to you 3 and hope for the best.

*As then Kyoko, Hikari and Kazuo walk out of the room*

Well I think I'll inform the others about this and get to work then.

Right right, I think I'll take my leave as well - I do hope you all get your rest then, good day.

*After that Hikari and Kazuo leave which Kyoko walks down the hall*

I better be sure if Byakuya is okay...

[toastess-with-the-mostess]

Let's Rewind! Toast watches Voltron: Defender of The Universe (1984)

Season 1, Episode 5: The Princess Joins Up

Just from the episode title alone, I know my boy Sven is about to be tossed out like TRASH

I wonder what Zarkon wants with Allura, Lotor hasn't been introduced yet so maybe just a political prisoner or something

All the guards and prisoners are like ??? because haggar swears she'll upgrade the winner of this next gladiator fight so they can go against voltron if they didn't push the "all the soldiers were robots not people" narrative so much I'd agree but one of them asked how she could improve robots,, many ways sir and it's worse because she uses magic

Again some of these robeast and alien designs are so cool, very creative and reminds me biology is a suggestion when it comes to making a new species

A look into haggar lab, interesting actually it's just being used as a torture chamber where she infuses magic into them while they're still awake to feel the pain, horrifying

On Arus again, now it's the team calling out to the remaining Arusians into the tunnel to give them safety in the castle AND LANCE ALMOST FALLS OFF A CLIFF, GREAT START It's ok Keith grabs him before he dies

Pidge and Hunk are also trying to convince some people to come by, too bad their main selling point is wanting their cooking because it doesn't work with them either

I couldn't find a gif of the team sitting on this brick wall which I thought was super cute, and I don't want to screenshot that rn, so now it's up to imagination but fr trust me the team are all cuties

"I hate to give [Allura] the bad news :(" to "Sorry! No one wants to help!" PIDGE A LITTLE MORE TACT PLEASE LMAO

Something interesting, Hunk points out that they can't use Voltron to outright attack Zarkon and Allura agrees because he's a defender Knowing that they defeat everyone at the end after outright attacking castle doom, it seems kind of ironic BUT ALSO in Voltron Force (2011) we get an episode that revisits this legit subject and answers why or why not that would change That'll be a fun episode to review when I get to it

Again why would he want Princess Allura so bad, political prisoner is my best idea here This is probably where the Keith/Allura shipping started because after Coran mentions that Keith is super quick to threaten violence against the guy if he tries to touch her I mean ignoring the fact that it's one of the more obvious pairings lol

An attack! And they destroyed that satellite dish thing that Sven and Allura just finished building, rip

They routinely call the lions "space lions" which I guess makes sense but if Earth or at least the GG have been in contact with aliens for god knows how long it feels like it's kind of redundant to specifically say they're from space

Again with the GoLion references, I don't remember it being this abundant it's just them saying the name GoLion btw, nothing subtle LMAO

This week's robeast is called the Dieklops! They named this one pretty well, so there's some hope for the future, This one is heavier than the last one at only 4100 short tons!

I like to think that the team fights in the lions first before forming Voltron because they're trying to see what it can do, and it's a lot easier to annoy a robeast into showing its cards when there's more of you

Activate interlocks, dynotherms connected, infracells up, mega thrusters are go! They finally did the chant this time! Maybe it's because I religiously rewatch Voltron Force (2011) but I expected them to say "Let's go voltron force!" but instead they just shouted Voltron that's ok too I guess

I didn't comment on the transformation sequence last time, but it's pretty cool because it reminds me of some frankenstein's monster type stuff especially because there are a lot of electricity crackles and zaps seen and heard when voltron forms

AND IM FREEEE FREEE FALLIN

Ok but actually though that's a really interesting landscape near the castle, pretty secure in case of ground attacks but what about when natural disasters hit? It probably isn't that safe

I know the show just pulls phrases out of its ass to sound futuristic but "nucleonic circut" is wild

Alfor CREATED voltron?? Again I'm twisting it to my own version because I can't trust them telling a linear story here, but my thinking is that after Voltron was officially split into five, Alfor later discovered them and had them slowly rebuilt as mechs which is why they form like this now

Man these guys suck at dodging

oh shit now the castle is getting taken apart I know what happens next but it's still wild

HELLO?? CORAN WHY WOULD YOU TELL HER TO SURRENDER WHEN YOU SAID THAT ZARKON NEVER BACKS DOWN

I think it's a nice touch that Voltron has expressions whenever he fights, kind of hints at his magical nature even though in this show they're just treated as machines and nothing more

Alfor ex machina returns and confirmation that Zarkon is the one who killed Alfor

Goodbye decrepit old castle of Arus, hellooo new futuristic version!

OH SHIT WATCH OUT ALLURA STAYS STRAPPED ok maybe I was wrong about this episode being the one where Sven gets nerfed

Robeast is defeated but as Allura monologues they show a slide show of all the lions with their pilots on top, except the first one we see is blue and Allura on top lol that must've been weird for kids who saw it air

Episode end! Another short one it feels like, or is it because it was such a simple premise This is the last one for tonight, and hopefully I'll be able to do one tomorrow, but it's my busiest day of the week :/

[acefaun]

Good morning! 💞

Here a little peice advice as a Tolkien fan-

• Buy the paper back edition of The Hobbit, and read it.

• Buy the paper back edition of The Lord Of The Rings, read it. ( I am currently reading the first book). There's a whole book containing the series at one place, but it's somewhat expensive.

• Buy Child Of Hurin, read it.

• Buy Beren and Luthien, read it.

• Buy Fall Of Gondolin, read it.

• The Silmarallion ( the big history book ). Take as much time as you need.

• The Unfinished Tales Of Numenor. I recently bought the illustrated deluxe slipcase edition. Let's just say my dad, told me not to buy any more books for at least until my next birthday. But the maps and the illustrations are Worth It. I am on a book buying BAN!

• The History Of Middle-earth series. There are 10 books in this series.

• The Nature Of Middle-earth. I want to buy this, the cover is mesmerizing. The beautiful purple colour. 💜

If this feels overwhelming, take a deep breath.

Remember, you are a Tolkien fan, even if you have not read everything or if you have simply watched the movies.

This is my personal reading order. Most people will recommend you to read The Silmarallion after you finish reading the Lord of the Rings, but i think that can be a bit overwhelming.

Another thing, you don't need to have multiple copies of the same book, if you don't want to. Especially those deluxe slipcase editions. For me collecting is useless if i don't read it.

I hope reading this was helpful. Please note this is my personal reading order. Take as many breaks as you need to.⚘💙

Good day, my loves! 🥰

Thanks for all the help navigating the Middle-Earth universe! I was feeling a little overwhelmed first jumping into the fandom because I was like "What order does all of this GO IN??!" But I figured that out and was able to watch the movies first.

But navigating the book will be a lot easier now! I'm glad I have some expert advice! I just ordered The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings, so that'll come in on (hopefully) Friday and I can get started. I'm soooo excited to start something new since I read all the Harry Potter books!

I kind of wish I had these good books with me now though. It's my day off of work but I'm stuck putting up with stupid cramps. It feels good writing outside in the shade with some yummy mint ice cream, but where't my heating pad and a good book?

Secondly, I found that child-Legolas x child-mc fic I was telling you guys about last week! It turns out it wasn't a finished draft, so I'm working on the ending, then I'll edit and post it. So it should be up soon!

As for this… You guys can always feel free to send me suggestions beyond this exciting reading list I was provided! But you gave me the wonderful idea of making an actual reading list like I have my watch list for movies, shows, and anime. I figured if I started making a list of things that peak my interest then I'll never get bored! Especially if I don't feel like reading something now, I'm probably going to get into a reading mood sooner or later.

So, this is what I've got so far:

Lookin' good, if I do say so myself!

LET'S GO, MIDDLE-EARTHERS!

[potatoes-are-magic]

My Kimchi recipe

The kitchen is all unpacked, so I figured I'd make myself a fresh batch of kimchi to celebrate! Based off this recipe here. I don't really use measurements for anything other than the sauce ingredients. This recipe is pretty flexible, and every batch tastes a little bit different.

Ingredients

2-2.5 lbs napa cabbage (about 1 head)

Salt

Daikon radish, as much as you'd like (I matchstick it)

Carrots, enough until it looks right (also matchsticked, but honestly, any shape works)

Green onions, a bunch, cut into 1 inch batons (as in the bunch/bundle they're sold in at the grocery store)

For the Sauce:

1 small potato (no really)

Fresh ginger, about an inch

1/4 onion

1/4 asian pear (yes, really)

6-8 cloves of garlic

1/4 cup fish sauce

1/2 cup gochugaru (korean red pepper flakes, I use a very rounded scoop)

1/4 cup salted shrimp* (don't skip this ingredient! It's what finally made my kimchi taste like the H-mart stuff!)

1/4-1/2 tsp sugar

1/4-1/2 tsp salt

Steps

Take your napa cabbage, clean it, core it, and cut it into chunks. A more traditional recipe would leave the cabbage whole, but chunking it makes it easier to work with.

Cover it in salt, enough that it feels like you dropped your cabbage in the sand, and mix. Work it in! Crush it! It should start to get wilty and sweat.

Add enough water to cover, and put a plate, bowl, something on top to keep the cabbage below the water. Brine it for about 2-3 hours

Now to make the sauce! Remember that small potato? Take it and peel it and grate it! Don't shred it. You know that evil looking side of the box grater that seems to do nothing but make the thing painful to hold? Use that side.

Take your grated potato and add it and some water to a small saucepan. Cook it for a few minutes into you have some gluey potato gloop. (this actually replaces the rice flour paste used in more traditional recipes). Let it cool

Take the rest of the sauce ingredients, and throw them in a blender/immersion blender/food processor. Something that'll turn this stuff into paste.

Add the potato gloop we made earlier. This will help the sauce to spread farther and stick better.

Once the cabbage is finished brineing, drain it, give it a rinse and drain again. If you skip this step, it'll be too salty to eat once it's done (learned the hard way).

Throw in the other vegetables and dump in the sauce, enough to cover it, and mix! If you use your hands, wear gloves (also learned the hard way).

Taste test. This is very important! This is the last step before we ferment it, and the last chance you have to make any adjustments.

Now that your kimchi tastes the way you want it, it's time to ferment. Pack your kimchi into a crock or mason jar. Do so in layers as you go and make sure it's packed tightly.

Put your weights in, and put on the lid! The kimchi is dry packed and will produce liquid as it ferments. These weights will keep the vegetables under the liquid. If you're using a mason jar, keep the lid loose or remember to burp it to release the gases. A water sealed crock will do this automatically.

Ferment on the counter or 2-4 days depending on how warm your kitchen is. Keep it out even longer if you prefer a more sour kimchi.

Once it's done fermenting, either put it in a mason jar or tighten the lid and put it in the fridge to slow the fermenting process. Your done!

And that's it! This recipe usually makes about a half gallon of kimchi and will last in the fridge for months.

Any leftover kimchi sauce you have can be used on other batches or added to other vegetables to make other kimchis. Cubed daikon kimchi or a quick cucumber kimchi are yummy options.

Hope you enjoy!

[orcelito]

Dawn of the Final Day... aka this is the day I gotta shoot for finishing all my writing and editing, if possible. I did manage to write like 1.5k words yesterday, so I made progress... just not as much as I wanted to.

But I discovered the secrets of the universe last night aka I discovered that YES putting the fan in front ofnthe cracked open window will send cold air into my way too warm room, so it's actually a manageable temperature now. Crazy how that works. I'm hoping that'll make it easier to write since it means I can hide up here to write rather than hope all is quiet downstairs.... I'm gonna try my best