#so i guess i gotta suffer | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hillerskaroyals · 2 years

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#is this a shared experience?#i stg no matter how hard i try the swedish pronunciation always sounds wrong when i say it #but i can’t call them ‘will’ or ‘willy’ and ‘simon’ (pronounced sigh-mon)#it just feels wrong #also while making this i realized that i always call them wilmon but since it’s a combo of their names would it be ‘vilmon’#how far do the swedish roots go #all i want to do is talk about my silly little swedish show but i feel like the dumbest most pretentious fool when i say #‘yeah so wille (ville) is the crown prince and simon (si-mon) is a non res at hillerska (hillershka)#like smth about how i say it is wrong and i truly don’t think i can fix it #so i guess i gotta suffer #that being said i’m a swedish pronunciation and swedish dub hoe. it just sounds stupid coming from me #also i was truly on the struggle bus trying to type all the names out phonetically for both languages so i hope you appreciated it #young royals #young royals shitpost #my yr thoughts #late night yr #mine

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blushinggoku · 3 months

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Been trying to read some goku x reader fanfics (because I love him and cringe culture is dead) but there's soo few out there it's insane. I'm disappointed in this fandom for not loving goku more

#listen I understand he's married but that's what AUs are for #also there's way more vegeta x reader fics out there than there are ones with goku and that's a crime #he's the MAIN CHARACTER ffs!!#vegeta is written better and has a well written story arc that is true #but still #I guess this is the only way he could beat goku huh #this is should probably be a case of “if you want someone done right you have to do it yourself”/#“you want this foc so bad make it yourself”#however A) I'd get too flustered writing goku x reader fics.#B)I'm already busy writing some stories for other fandoms that take all of my time #and C) I'd be afraid to make any of dbz's characters OOC (I need them to be accurate for my peace of mind or I'll cry)#so I will just suffer knowing there is not much of the fics I want out there #I have read a couple of good ones. but I'd only recommend like 2 of them #btw I gotta ask how tf is this possible. dragon ball has existed for 40 years and there's barely any selfshipping fics wtf #again especially pertaining the main fuckinh character. it baffles me. boggles my mind. makes me sob #star scrambles #goku

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smilesrobotlover · 1 month

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Got up at 5 in the morning to workout only to discover that the gym opens at 6 for spring break I hate it here 😭

#I TRIED SO HARD TO CONVINCE MYSELF NOT TO SLEEP UNTIL SIX #LIKE NO WERE FULLSENDING TO 5:30 #BUT NOOOOOOOOO NOW IM JUST TIRED ABD MAD #I’m tempted to just…. go back to sleep and skip today lol #but I missed yesterday and took last week off so…..#hmmm #guess I gotta suffer 🙄#at least it’s almost 6 for me

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opens-up-4-nobody · 3 months

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...

#its sort of funny. i think my medication is working pretty well. i feel stable in a way i never really have before #is it the dopamine stablizer or is it my ion channels? whos to say. it doesn't matter. but it also doesnt change some things #the ways i think and react negativly to change. but it makes it easier to deal with. i still experience this strange dispaire on the #weekends or anytime im not working. i think the oddest thing is thst i dont think ive ever been this consistenly sad #not in a depressed sort of way. just a passing thoughts make me tear up sort of way. it doesnt feel out of control. it just feels like a #prelude to grief i guess. bc my mum is still in the hospital and its so hard to kno what that means from halfway across the country #my sisters are both home right now. they both live within 3hrs of where we grew up. one sister lives in the city my mom goes to for #treatment. so they have the opportunity to see her more than me. i dunno if they do tho. we dont really talk. i dont kno if they're as sad #as i am. if im overreacting bc i cant physically see what's happening. what the feeling is in the room. not that she would probably complain #shes the suffer in silence type. my dad keeps texting us pics of our shitty lil sunroom that hes redoing #to make my mum a lil sanctuary. he must be sad too. its his wife. hes staying with her in the hospital rn. i dunno its so weird #when i talk to my counselor she assumes i find out info thru calls or talk to my sisters abt it and i gotta b like nah we dont really talk #i get my info thru text. i havent talked to my parents on the phone in like a month. i dunno we just dont talk. so i dont kno how to reach #out and be like yo so whats up? shoulf i plan on coming home this summer for a bit?? like???#this is the disadvantage of leaving thr place where you grew up. probably when i finish my phd i should move closer to home #somewhere in the Appalachian mountains maybe. somewere in the eastern deciduous forrest. somewhere with thunderstorms.#but thats years from now. who knows what ill b doing. for now im just sad and tired and i dont quite kno what to do in the short or long #term bc im feeling the weight of my mental limitations rather intensely. but maybe im just being self limiting #whatever. i dont have a dead mum yet. shes not even on hospice care. things are just uncertain and dont look so hot #i just dont see how it can get better from here when chemo gave her secondary blood cancer and shes still full of tumors #i dont think im being that dramatic. it just objectively seems not great for survival #unrelated

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goon-in-gotham · 7 months

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Day 25 of Timtober - fear

#dc #tim drake #timtober #i have projected on my fear of repression and being muted on to timmy #yall think he would actually suffer from this or 🤔#i mean hes bi and also very gender and living in a high class fam gotta have some effects #oooof yeah jack drake bro #jack drake def homophobeic :///#mabye yeah #not just about lgbtq i think #mabye gets seen as silly little boy does not know shit about himself dont trust him no hes not gay hes just confused #oh god im realiseing my tramua #bruce is not homophbic and he has a bf and also surrounded by loving freds and fams so he probablly not so repressed #any more at least #hn #i mean autism also repression #so #double i guess #wait actually i have thriple 🤔 i get extra points?#ok mabye more than thriple #oh god i am so repressed arent i #well timmy will also be ive decided then #hrn🤔🤔🤔#wow this is long tags

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sga-owns-my-soul · 11 months

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me: i love rodney mckay he's such a good character and he deserves so much better than what the writers did for him

me writing fan fiction about him: hmm what if i make him experience the worst trauma ever and also make him feel directly responsible for it haha what if

#angst warning but #i'm literally writing a fic rn where teyla dies in child birth #and ronon and john (and rodney) blame rodney #like?????#WHY #what am i DOING #gotta make him Suffer i guess #i've already cried twice writing this fic it's awful!#but also so good and i'm actually p excited for it #what can i say i'm really good at writing angst #we don't need to look too deeply into that dw about it #anyways poor rodney #i do love his character it's just hard to tell from the situations i write him into #rip sorry bud 😂#rodney mckay #sga #personal rambles #ignore this

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nonbinaryaubrey · 2 years

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imagine if you tried to reconnect with your old friend group after 4 years but then one of your old friends died and the other one moved away. which then ultimately lead to the rest of you dying. and you got trapped in your old friend's dreamworld, meet your other friend who died four years ago and then finding out you are going to lose all of your old memories slowly by being stuck here. would that be fucked up or what?

#playing forever au #MORE CONTEXT PROVIDED IN THE TAGSS i guess. readg.#omori #sorry if this makes NO fucking sense i dont know how to explain this AU #ITS BASED ON MY REVIVED MARI LORE FOR CONTEXT #this was the post neutral ending au i was talking about ..#its i guess meant to be one of the bad conclusions to the revived mari stuff.#and probably the worst possible follow up to the neutral ending. yknow. everyone dying.#IM SOSO SORRY THIS SOUNDS EDGYYY IM AWARE. i want it to be more tragic than anything....#but i dont know how to explain it so it comes across as more edgy suffering bullshit </3 SAD. u gotta trust me on this one im trying #uhh context to how i came up with this. playing the hikikomori route with a friend and seeing basil at the picnic blanket -> remembering-#that at this point in the timeline his rw self is.. prrobably already dead (cant remember) -> lol wouldnt it be funny if he got trapped-#in headspace like how mari did in my AU -> remembers the neutral ending on the sunny route and how everyone saw basils body -> oh no.#aubrey.txt

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wayfinderships · 9 months

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The best part of being in a polyship with P.rompto and N.octis is the fact that anytime I see art of the two kissing I'm immediately all "Fidngkdjfkdk My bfs!!! <3 I'm so happy to see them kissing and being happy!! They're both the best!"

#pan rambles #More often than not seeing ship art (with canon characters) of my f/os makes me feel a bit :(#Which means I'm suffering gamers #because my two F.inal F.antasy 16 crushes have canon romantic love interests so I gotta see a lot of ship art😔#Makes me feel a little insecure about possibly shipping with them #(Although now that I think about it...A lot of my ff f/os have a love interest. 😔 It's a curse I guess)#(I get new f/o at the cost of feeling a little inferior to their canon love interest)#but Ahem! where was I? oh yeah by BFs!#I love seeing P.rompto/N.octis ship art! Makes me happy!

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masquenoire · 10 months

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He is so not in the mood for work today but unfortunately for him, taking the day off sick isn't an option, not when he's the boss. On goes the black suit which stands as it's own warning; the first guy who pisses him off can count himself lucky if all he gets is a broken jaw.

#💀 || musings #!shitposting #Guess who woke up with cramps today!#That's right dis bich #Therefore Roman must also suffer with me today #White suit = everything's fine #Black suit = When the boss wears black you better step back #Roman doesn't mind so much when blood gets on his suits but it's a different matter when it's his own blood #period tw #period cw #tfw you wanna cuddle up in bed with your doggos but you gotta keep the morons in line #Beware his hair-trigger temper!#Moreso than it usually is asdfghjkl #I don't wanna work tonight either :/#Just tired and ugh

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abstract-moth · 8 months

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for once I would like to be struggling academically bc my brain actually struggles to comprehend the material and not bc I have some dumb*ss sh*t going on in my personal life

#I got club stuff eating all my time #had to become the RA at my dorm #all my friends dropped out of my program so all those relationships are evolving #one of my best friends for the past two years is acting badly and I may have to stop being his friend #have to address some long standing medical issues #ofc my family issues have not gotten better at all #need to start therapy again and ik my therapist and I don't click but hey she's covered by insurance and I'm tired of looking #stupid beginning of the year bureaucracy to deal with #ppl at my dorm went to a big party and now everyone is slowly getting sick #president of my club is assigning me more work and the only solution is to tell her to do it instead but then SHE will have too much work #so I guess we both gotta suffer #plus I gotta lead my own team this year and get back to some assignments I told them to do #missed my German class 2 weeks in a row and have my first class tomorrow REALLY BEHIND bc I haven't studied German since May #also haven't been keeping up with French #and I really gotta do well academically this year #and probably find a job #and go to the gym #and not end up in the hospital again #university shenanigans #original post

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yukinyaminyato · 3 months

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*puts on a lip tint i haven't used in a long time*

me: tastes like mold.... ? 🫠

#guess i gotta throw this in the trash when i get home 😭 it also lowkey burns....#i already applied it & im on a train so not gonna wipe it away immediately but uh. this has never happened to me before....#if i suffer any consequences then it's my own stupidity 😔#my posts

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yappacadaver · 6 months

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im just obsessed with his themes and motifs, i love when guys have suffering tailor-made just for them, and i love watching how their psyche tries to grow through the torture dungeon's twisting labyrinth, until the shape of their soul is a cast of it

#it's like pouring molten metal into an ant colony to make a cast #rational thoughts being the ants #mr delver i wont u...#this one goes out to all my favorite blorbos though #only the men though surprisingly i have a different type for women (creator of the torture dungeon)#but yea kakashi went through this too and it was so potent it probably shaped my 13 year old brain for good #though i gotta say in the suffering olympics raymond is probably one of the only ones to give kakashi a run for his money like i legit #hjave a hard time handing out the gold to either of them #i guess i would honestly HONESTLY have to hand it to raymond which is so!!! girl kakashi is an active combatant living under martial law To #but kakashi gets the chance to get better and he gets it multiple times... kakashi ends up with a family... even when things are bad he has #comrades and??? not to be like that but he has power. he's not helpless. he COULD have run away from it all (not saying he shouldve but it #was an OPTION at least)#Raymond is connecticut clarke if connecticut clarke had to resist against the forces of hell itself alone for his entire life with little t #no hope of ever escaping. no family. likely no friends (definitely none that are close and understand his situation). the only power he has #is a get out of jail free card but it's not free you have to carve a bit off of mama you gotta have a kidnapping victim to torture like. he #has nothing.#AND THE DAMN GET OUT OF JAIL FREE CARD ONLY WORKS SOMETIMES LIKE????? get crumpled ig

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scare-ard--sleigh · 4 months

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bad news; slept like Absolute Shit last night

good news; took a nap & feel great

even better news; marketing article extension GRANTEDDDDDDDDD 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳

#silver jelly #tbh i hate so much when i tell someone i haven't slept well and they're like 'well i haven't slept since i was four years old' like ???#okay???? it's not a competition?????? i'm allowed to be sleepy????? hello ???????? your suffering isn't virtuous take some damn ambien?????#i mean this guy's an asshole; i know this.#also not an asshole thing but i found out today he's 37 and he'd never heard of a goldendoodle and fr i was gobsmacked i'm sorry.#like i 100% understand not knowing all the dog breeds; there's a LOT!! but he's an editor and our primary client is a dog trainer???#the last batch of articles for them were 'how to adopt a goldendoodle in [state]' ????#and goldendoodles are...........i mean they're not exactly cirneco dell'etnas or kuvaszs you know what i mean?#i think i saw goldendoodles every day in dc. plus it's like -- golden. well that must be golden retriever. quintessential dog right there #a real dog's dog. then; okay; 'oodle' gotta be poodle! everyone knows a poodle!#i feel like columbo rn scratching my head. never heard of a goldendoodle. learn something new every day i guess!#i wasn't a dick about it tho i said 'they're a real marvel if you haven't seen them. they look like little men!' and sent a pic.#i just can't let that stand tbh. you gotta see em.

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desperatepleasures · 5 months

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trying not to think about it but also i need to figure out what im gonna do with my hermit crabs and it's not like. urgent but at some point im gonna have to figure out how to change out their substrate and also there's a solid chance i'll have to rehome them someday :(

#(not rehoming them anytime soon but i wanna mentally prepare myself a little for when that day comes)#anyway re: substrate change. this is a 45gal tank filled with ~50lbs of sand etc. and i live in a 4th floor walkup #playsand comes in 25lb bags which i am not physically capable of carrying up 3 flights of stairs. my ex had to do it when we moved here #maybe i can like. hire someone to carry it up the stairs???#but then i have to figure out how to dispose of their current substrate which again. LOTS of sand.#i could probably board them at work for a week or so in a smaller tank while i do the changeout #idk man it's just like. a lot #i feel bad their tank is so fucked and it's like. i can't physically fix the problem!!!#and as far as rehoming like. idk if move out someday i really doubt im gonna wanna move the tank.#i guess it depends on what kinda living situation im going to #and eventually i'll have to move out. or my roommate will move out and i won't be able to afford the mortgage on my own #and still have to move out lol #anyway again none of this is happening soon i just need to accept the reality of the situation #and like am i really gonna go through the nightmare logistics of a substrate change only to rehome them soon after?#but on the same token. am i really gonna give someone a nasty-ass tank? lmao #so. idk. i gotta think on that one.#i just feel bad for them i mean they have a fairly good quality of life #especially considering what most hermit crabs suffer lmao #but. i wish i could do better for them #i could probably find someone to take them at least because of my job lol #the logistics will suck no matter what and also i love those little guys and i'm getting sad just thinking about it :(#but they're only gonna get bigger and i definitely can't upgrade their tank in my current living situation #so either way something has to give ya know?

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the-cat-at-the-theatre-door · 1 year

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trouble is her only friend a demeter fanmix [listen]

#i gotta stop doing this in a mania at 8PM at night #Demeter #fanmix #my fanmix #okay so technically you should be sad doesn't make sense because she *did* have a baby BUT it's the surrounding context #it's...a progression i guess?#because i like to read demeter as started in the tribe - maybe had issues with anger and such #rebelled all that stuff #left because [insert reason i think of here]#got caught up with bad crowds #got seduced into a worse one #fell in love with macavity but shock surprise he thought of her as a possession - macavity loves macavity and pretty things #met friends - struggled - fell in love maybe - suffered more - had jemima - escaped #went back home suffered there but is starting to heal #etc etc etc #ends with her family and that's what she really wanted all along isn't it?#popped in the anxiety train from time to time so warning #for screaming and pops of electronica #but that kinda entwines her with macavity #blah blah blah no one cares jemi #popped in *my* favourite ship in there because i can #also since catnip as a drug is canon in the 2019 film you think macavity is a drug kingpin #?#(i'm kidding but also...not?)

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aeide-thea · 8 months

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wot show is so obsessed with architecture and tbh i'm not mad about it???

#the number of like. elaborate little symmetrical rooms they have for things to happen in…#part of me is loling but part of me is like. you know what? they've got a theme. respect.#tvblogging #(also i'm just getting to 2x08 now and like. it IS funny being a show-only*)#[*ok technically i read like. two? three? of the books back in like 2020 or something but. they weren't Formative Texts of my Adolescence]#(bc i remember everybody on here was *freaking out* abt‚ i think‚ 2x07)#(and like. in retrospect i guess i understand what that was about! but i gotta admit it didn't quite have the same emotional weight for me)#(even though intellectually i understand it was supposed to)#(i mean i also think i like. often don't get that emotionally invested in romances i see onscreen?)#(not sure if that's fundamental to the medium for me or if it's because everything is so compressed)#(however i AM kinda thrilled abt this season's regendering of Uncommunicatively Angsting Blorbo vs Their Long-Suffering Support Person)#(also honestly i always really love when we don't have to do a whole performative abasing reconciliation situation)#(and someone's just like. look. our relationship is so much more deeply rooted than this one wobble. obviously i'll take you back.)#(i think honestly bc it's like. a confidence fantasy.)#(like you got SO much witcher fanfic where geralt had to‚ like‚ prostrate himself at jaskier's feet)#(to acknowledge the harm geralt had done him and how jaskier deserved so much better etc etc etc)#(and it just felt to me like the writers were really speaking to their own insecurities and what *they'd* personally need)#(bc that interaction would've thrown *them* into a tailspin so obviously it must've thrown jaskier into one)#(and like. that's valid or whatever‚ obviously! but like. sometimes don't you want to imagine what it's like to feel secure instead???)#(like 'actually i know i'm good‚ you know where to find me when you get over yourself and remember you know it too'?)

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