#so i just put up with them. benefit of a long ass video is that ads r annoying but not utterly infuriating

[orcelito]

Watching critical role on my ps4 on YouTube only to have some random Google pixel 6 connect then immediately disconnect

Like who are you and why did you touch my ps4. Bitch

[bratzforchris]

Moonlight, M. Sturniolo

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*

Summary: Matt's favorite way to unwind after a long week of work is to smoke and enjoy the benefits that come with having you as his girlfriend. Songfic; loosely based off of "Moonlight" by Kali Uchis

Pairing: Matt x feminine reader

Warnings: Smut, drug use (marijuana) and sex under the influence, p in v, oral (f receiving), fingering, masturbating (m), cowgirl, marking, dirty talk, pet names (baby girl, doll), really long

Word Count: 3k

A/N: This is not a want...it's a need. Anyway, enjoy some smut to start your Monday the right way ;)

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*

Friday nights were Matt’s favorite night of the week. After a long week of work and the Friday video going up, he could finally enjoy true, quality time with you. You two would make dinner together, talking about each other’s week and sharing both your high points and low points. That was nice, sure, but he enjoyed what came after far more. You would sit out on the back deck together, passing a joint back and forth and gazing up at the stars. Sometimes these nights were quiet and would end with you both tucked up into bed, passed out before midnight. Other nights, the weed would loosen your tongues, leading to playful banter and clothes strewn across the living room. 

✧˖°.

“Hey sweetie,” You smiled as Matt stepped into the kitchen, holding a brown paper bag. “How was your day?”

“It was fine,” Matt shrugged, coming around the island to wrap his arms around you as you stirred the pot on the stove. “Nick and Chris were good. We got the video up smoothly so…successful Friday, I guess.”

You turned towards your boyfriend’s chest, spoon still in hand. “That wouldn’t happen to be my favorite salsa, would it?” You asked, gesturing towards the paper bag in his hand. 

“Oh, I dunno,” Matt kissed your forehead playfully. “What do I get out of it if it is?”

“A kiss? Best boyfriend of the week award?”

“I’m the only boyfriend of the week,” he grumbled, a smile dotting his face. “But yes, it is your favorite salsa.”

You squealed as Matt set the bag down, immediately tearing into it. Your favorite salsa was locally made, only sold in the small bodega near the triplet’s old house on the outskirts of LA. Ever since you and Matt had gotten your own place in favor of furthering your relationship, the salsa had become more of a rarity, making you cherish Matt even more every time he went out of his way to get it. 

“The tacos are done!” You exclaimed proudly as you began to set out the spread. 

“I’m more interested in this spread,” Matt snorted, landing a smack to your ass. “Are those new leggings?” he had gravitated towards your kitchen table, sitting down in one of the chairs with that cursed manspread that would’ve looked humiliating had it been on anyone else. 

You looked down at the black leggings you had put on earlier in the day for this sole purpose. You’d just gotten them in the mail yesterday, and you knew they would drive Matt absolutely wild. He had a slight obsession with you in black. Nevertheless, you decided to have a bit of fun with him, smiling with a blush. 

“Later, Bernard. We’re about to eat.” You knew Matt hated his middle name, and you could only dream of the ways he would get back at you later for it. 

Sure enough, Matt groaned, burying his face in his hands. “I hate my middle name. It’s so stupid.”

“I disagree,” You giggled, fixing Matt’s plate. “I think MaryLou picked a lovely name.” You smiled, setting his plate in front of him and planting a kiss on his plump lips. 

You quickly fixed your own plate, setting down in the spot across from Matt. Taco Friday was a weekly tradition in your small household, as was sharing the week’s highs and lows. You listened as Matt talked about a recent milestone he had hit on his personal YouTube channel, but your eyes were more fixated on his lips. It’s not that you didn’t care about what he had to say; rather, you were just so overwhelmed by how purely handsome your boy was. 

“What was your favorite thing this week?” Matt asked you kindly after a while. 

“Oh um,” You blushed, pushing your empty plate away and standing. “Does this count?” You hummed seductively, straddling yourself across Matt’s lap and tangling your hands in the hair at the nape of his neck as you kissed him. 

Your boyfriend moaned into the kiss, grunting and shifting as your leggings brushed over his sensitive cock. “What happened to later?” he teased, a small smirk tugging at the edges of his mouth. 

“You’re just hot,” You giggled. “That’s all.”

You usually weren’t as bold as you had been just now, normally opting to let Matt take the lead on affection and sexual encounters. Something was different about tonight, though. You couldn’t keep your eyes off him as you two cleaned off the table, or when you stood side by side at the sink, tag teaming the dishes. 

The air thrummed with the sparks that were flying between you as you changed into one of Matt’s big t-shirts and comfortable shorts and him into a white shirt and plaid pajama pants. Even though it was early, you always liked being in comfortable clothes to smoke; it made the experience more enjoyable. 

You didn’t miss the way Matt’s eyes rinsed over your body in his clothes. Even after over two years together, it still made his head spin that you were all his. Every inch of your body belonged to him, and him to you. He loves your body, how smart you were, your adorable face, and the way you lit up from the inside with joy whenever you were happy. Like right now, as you grabbed your rainbow striped pouch from your nightstand and grabbed his hand, tugging him out onto the back deck. 

“This is probably my favorite time of the week,” You announced, smiling as you plopped down in one of the deck chairs. “I love the view.” You hummed quietly, gazing up at the darkening sky as the stars began to peek out. 

“I love this view more.” Matt cooed, tapping your nose. 

“You’re so corny.” You giggled, but blushed nonetheless. 

You opened your pouch, pulling out a blunt and lighter while Matt turned on the speaker, playing Mac Miller’s Swimming album. The lighter in your hands was a special one; it had become a custom gift your boyfriend had given you for your most recent birthday, with a picture of you both on the vinyl wrap. It had been a gag gift at first, but Matt smiled every time you two used it, simply because it reminded him of all the times you two had shared. 

“You want first hit?” You asked him. 

“Nope,” Matt told you. “Ladies first.”

“Such a gentleman.” You laughed, hanging the joint between your lips as you lit up. 

You inhaled for a moment, letting the sweet smoke fill your lungs, before exhaling and passing it to Matt. Even though there were only two of you, you had to say that this was your dream rotation if you could call it that. Matt was perfect in so many ways. He was in tune with all your moods and now was no exception. He had his eyes trained on you as he took a long drag, before turning his head and blowing a cloud of smoke towards the night sky. 

“I’m so fucking lucky.” he hummed, staring up at the moon as you took another hit.

“Me too.” You smiled, scooting your chair closer to him as the joint dangled between your lips. 

“Like…I live this fucking amazing life. I get to have fun with my brothers for a living and then I get to come home to my own house at twenty years old. I have my own house and a beautiful girlfriend,” Matt paused to look at you, suddenly shy. “And you support me more than anyone else ever has and I just…I’m really lucky and I love you.” he whispered, the weed already loosening his tongue, despite only having one hit. 

“I love you, Matty.” You whispered, pecking his cheek and passing the blunt back to him for another hit. 

Normally, Matt would protest anyone calling him Matty, but he loved you, and when you said it, it made his heart swell. He smiled, taking another long hit and blowing the smoke towards the stars. “I think I love you more.”

You smiled, curling into his side. You and Matt sat in silence for a while, passing the weed back and forth and enjoying the night sky and the music until Matt suddenly turned his head, looking at you. 

“You’re really fucking beautiful.” he smiled, voice and body overall more relaxed than they had been an hour ago. 

No matter how long you and Matt had been together, his words about how gorgeous or perfect you were never failed to make your cheeks heat up and the butterflies in your tummy take flight. You carefully put the lit joint out on a small ashtray that was laying on the outdoor table and then crawled out of your chair and into Matt’s lap, laying your head against his strong chest. 

“And I think you’re really handsome,” You hummed. “And sexy. Definitely sexy.” You giggled, still high from all that you had smoked. 

Your boyfriend held you on his lap by your hips, whispering sweet nothings to you as he kissed your lips softly, then moved along to your jaw. Each kiss was slightly more intense than the last as the moonlight shone down on you two, until Matt finally hit the sweet spot behind your ear, where he suckled softly, the scent of weed hot on his breath. Moaning involuntarily, you ground your hips against his lap, the ache that was blossoming in your growing as you felt his boner. 

“Do I turn you on? Making you need to get off on my leg, baby? Or is that weed talking?” Matt asked you, sneaking a hand inside your shorts. 

Just as he had suspected, you weren’t wearing any panties under the soft cotton, which allowed him to easily slide a finger between your folds. You whimpered as Matt left a trail of hickeys down your neck, rubbing soft, slow circles on your already-dripping clit. In between each new mark he added onto you, your lover would speak of all the things he loved about you and your body. Some of them were unintelligible in his smokey haze, others were little quirks you  didn’t even know he had noticed.

“Matt,” You whimpered, holding yourself steady against his shoulders as he fingered you. “Don’t be a teas…” Your words were cut off when he hit a particularly sensitive area, causing you to hiss with arousal. 

“I think we need to take this inside.” Matt chuckled, easily picking you up and wrapping your legs around his waist. 

He knew that he wouldn’t be able to control himself much longer. As much as Matt had grown in his letting go of anxiety over what other people thought, he really didn’t want your neighbors to watch you get fucked. That was for his eyes only. His cock was already threatening to burst with the need to just fuck you and feel every inch of your skin, of all of you, against him. 

Once he had successfully made it inside, still carrying you, of course, Matt began to kiss you with fervent need, not being able to hold back any longer. He didn’t break the kiss as he carried you into the bedroom, sitting down with you against him. 

“Oh doll,” he moaned, marking his love for you on your collar bone. “I can’t wait to eat that sweet little cunt until you’re absolutely dripping. Show you what happens when I get high, yeah? How much I think about you and your pretty pussy.”

You whined, gripping Matt’s hair in your hands as he pulled your (his) shirt over your head, admiring your bare breasts. He loved your tits, he really did, but that wasn’t what he was here for. Your boyfriend nipped at your boobs gently, making sure to leave enough of a mark for tomorrow. The soft flesh was turning pink with his hickeys as he sucked his way down your chest and tummy, laying you back against the bed. 

You were already arching and wriggling against the sheets before Matt had even gotten your shorts off. The sheer tone and implications of his teasing were making you wildly horny, eager to feel his tongue and fingers inside of you. Matt smirked when he finally, finally pulled the fabric off, eyeing the feast before him. You were already dripping, your thighs slick with arousal. 

He took his time to continue circling your clit slowly, teasingly, enjoying the way you whimpered and grunted. Once he began to pump a finger inside of you, it was downhill from there. You were grabbing onto anything you could; his hair, his biceps, his shirt, eager to just have him touch you more. Matt smirked at your eagerness as he thrust another finger inside of you, causing you to wiggle and whine. 

“Think you can handle my mouth, baby?” he asked you. “You know how much I love dessert when I’m high and this? This is the perfect dessert.”

Without another word he thrust his head between your thighs, eating you out at such a rapid, dizzying pace that your cunt was already clenching within the minute. Matt didn’t stop at just his mouth, though. His tongue was gliding over your clit while he pumped his fingers in and out of you, creating a sinfully filthy symphony of your little moans whimpers combined with him enjoying all that your pussy had to offer. 

“Matt…” You whimpered, panting with the need to climax. “Gonna cum.” you groaned, back arching. 

“Go ahead, baby,” he cooed in such an obscene way, it just turned you on more. “Cum all over my fingers and tongue.”

You didn’t need to be told twice. You immediately let go as your orgasm took you over, legs shaking and near-screams leaving your mouth. It was one of the strongest climaxes you had had in a while, leaving you greatly exhausted as white-hot heat released from your core. You fell back against the pillows, panting, as Matt lifted his head from between your legs. Your cum was dripping down his chin and his hair was a mess, but he didn’t seem to mind. He just licked his lips, a coy, wolf-like smile on his face. 

“You think we���re only going one round, baby girl?” he chuckled. “I haven’t even gotten you to cum on my dick.” 

Despite the roughness of your words, Matt placed a kiss on your forehead and lips, before pulling his own shirt and pants off. Not speaking again, your boyfriend began to jerk himself like there’s no tomorrow, head thrown back and eyes closed as his wavy curls fall across his sweaty face. You could tell by the look on his face that sinful fantasies of you were playing through his head, and that excited you as well, giving you more vigor for another round. 

Matt reached over to his nightstand, still palming his dick, and grabbed a condom. You heard the unmistakable sound of foil ripping, before your boyfriend rolled the rubber onto his cock. However, he didn’t immediately slam into you. Instead, he laid down beside you, looking up at you with lustful eyes. 

“Get on top. I wanna see that sexy face when I cum.” he groaned, his boner absolutely aching. 

Slightly nervous, but also excited, you climbed atop Matt’s legs and lined yourself up with him. You weren’t very versed in riding him, but when you did, it was always an experience. Matt nodded at you kindly when you began to pick up speed, whining with his eyes screwed shut as your hips bucked against his own. 

“Is this okay?” You asked seductively, but a hint of nervousness laced your voice. You were still rather high, and you didn’t want to do anything to make the wonderful night you two were having thus far miserable. “I don’t wanna ruin it…”

“No baby…” Matt hissed, throwing his head back. “This is perfect–oh god, right there, Y/N. Good girl.”

With his encouragement, you rode Matt faster, knowing he was close to his own orgasm by the look in his blue eyes. You were already sensitive from your first orgasm, and you always came quicker the second time. 

“Oh god,” You moaned. “Matt, I’m gonna…” You didn’t get a chance to speak again before you were clenching around his dick, your release taking over your body. 

The sound of you climaxing just revved up Matt’s hormones and he immediately came right after you, completely filling the condom. It was quiet for a bit, save for the sounds of you both coming down from your literal and sexual high, as you slid off of his cock, laying down beside him with a great sigh. Your boyfriend removed the used condom, tying it off and throwing it into the trash beside the bed, before scooping you into a spooning position. 

“That was great,” he yawned, naked body pressed against your own. “Can I say something?” he asked you shyly. 

“Always.”

“I feel less insecure when we have high sex…” Matt admitted shyly, voice trailing off at the end. 

“Honey,” You said firmly, but not unkindly as your head cleared. “I understand, but you know I love you regardless, right? You’re the best romantic and sexual partner I’ve ever had.” You smiled kindly, yawning as well. 

“Really?” Your boyfriend asked, a hint of hope in his voice. 

“Really,” You nodded. “I love you, Matt. You’re my sun, my moon, and all of my stars, babe.”

Matt blushed under the weight of your words, pulling you closer to him. “That makes me feel better, actually. Thank you.” 

“Don’t worry, hun. We’ll never lose our Friday night routine.” You placed a kiss on Matt’s cheek and the snuggled into his hold, ready to enjoy the rest of your favorite night of the week. 

tags ♡: @aemrsy @jake-and-johnnies-slut @runasvengence @idek3000hi @oobleoob @faygo-frog @mayhem-72 @mimi-luvzyu @sunsetsturniolos @strnlvr @chrissturnswife @suyqa

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[a-substantial-trash-pile]

hey guess what. it's finally time for my Stardew Valley Loredump. i’m about to ramble about my farmer and yo-yo/yoba and shane in a probably long-ass, disjointed post because i have a problem ok. not expecting anyone to read it all of course—just want to finally write these brainstorming shenanigans down. the loredump will be below the cut below the image 👇 (WARNING: IT'S LONG):

SAMUEL IZAWA:

*samuel is 28 years old, pan, japanese okinawan (no im not self projecting hahaha), and goes by he/they. main thing is that they’re from “our world” where stardew valley is a video game, but he died and ended up in the stardew universe. because i think isekai tropes are fun and silly. as the player, samuel can do things others in the stardew world can’t do, such as: 

summon the in-game HUD that’s only visible to him, so he can see health/energy levels and inventory and all that.

speaking of inventory, it’s essentially a pocket dimension samuel can shove stuff in. the inventory doesn’t really care about size/weight/etc as long as it’s something the system considers an “item.” so like samuel can put a whole ass four poster bed in there but he can’t do that to a person or a whole house. samuel just needs to touch the item to make it disappear into his inventory. he can then summon it back out when he needs it. the game’s inventory limit system remains the same. samuel gets 12 slots on their own, but if they have a bag on them it increases to 36.

can access the player menu you can normally access in game. so like profile, skills, collections, relationships, etc are all there. no options or quit tab though. having the relationship tab is a nightmare for samuel, who has major insecurities about what people think of him. that tab is a quantifiable measure on how much people like him. it a real brain demon for him to know it exists and is right there for him to access anytime. 

can see the “stats” of food and healing items. hp/energy recovery amounts, buffs, etc. 

*funny thing is that samuel has never played SDV himself and only has knowledge based on what he’s heard and seen online secondhand. ironically he was planning on playing the game for the first time before the whole dying thing ruined it. they can’t even remember how they died, but it doesn’t bother them as much as they think it should. they didn’t leave much behind in that life.

*anyway, i’m talking a lot of game terms here, but don’t get it twisted. while samuel has all these game systems going on, the SDV world is very much a real one that doesn’t normally work by that logic. by that i mean time flows normally like in our world and there isn’t just 4 months in a year. things exist outside the valley. there’s a whole planet of places and people. 

*luckily samuel has help in navigating this new world in the form of yo-yo the junimo, who is the first living thing samuel sees when he first wakes up in that joja cubicle. yo-yo helps explain a lot of things and guide samuel around in its own abrasive way. he’s also there to be like, “hey i gave you a second chance at life so you kinda owe me actually. sign this contract.” and samuel, who is a pushover and also confused, is just like, “ok.” (yo-yo sounds like danny devito btw. because i think it’s funny.) 

*i call the contract a “magical girl contract” because that’s essentially what it is. samuel gets access to extra powers/abilities on top the stuff he can already do as a player. in return he fights monsters n shit for yo-yo and generally does things for them that they can’t do easily on their own. the extra benefits include: 

higher pain tolerance. which isn’t always a good thing. especially when you tend to not be great with self-preservation like samuel is. 

can heal most injuries by just eating/drinking stuff to regain hp.

yo-yo can teleport the both of them around as needed, but it’s tiring and it drains a lot of magic. distance matters too.

yo-yo can spawn items but it drains magic as well. the more valuable/rare the item, the more draining it is. spawning items is already a magic-intensive thing in the first place. also yo-yo isn’t creating the item out of nothing. they’re actually randomly taking it from wherever it already exists in the world. for example, say yo-yo “spawns” a jar of pickles. somebody in the world is going to open their fridge and discover their jar of pickles is missing or maybe a grocery store will have a sudden empty spot on its shelf. yo-yo doesn’t have control of where the items are taken from (or so they claim).

samuel and yo-yo’s magic pools became connected so they can both do more than they could do on their own before. this is one of the reasons why yo-yo wanted a contract with samuel, who has a larger magic pool than normal due to being from another world. but it’s possible for one side to use up all the magic for the both of them. 

*samuel’s personality can be summed up as Awkward People-Pleasing Tired Sad Garbage Dork. either he’s dressed like a grandparent in sweaters and turtlenecks or he’s wearing a button up shirt with the collar undone and jeans. they usually have their neck covered in public to hide the mark of yoba embedded there. he has a “resting bitch face” as some may call, but that’s just because his brain is busy over-analyzing 193828 different things. he loves being outside in the grass and dirt, looking at bugs n shit. he’s also a nerd who likes to play video games and ramble about the lore in them (he likes RPGs the most, but if the game’s got a good story and cool world, he’s into it). they like to do things with their hands like model building/painting. in their new stardew life, they get into woodcarving after willy teaches them the basics (he carves shane a little chicken). 

*samuel does NOT know how to say “no.” absolute pushover. their self-worth is based on how much they’re liked by others, which isn’t healthy obviously. he has a fear that the only way he can be liked is by being useful. he’s scared that he is inherently a bad and selfish person, because he can’t say for sure if he’s helping others purely out of kindness or because it just makes him feel better about existing. deep down there’s anger/frustration that’s accumulated over the years, anger towards himself and also others because he’s always doing things for other people—going above and beyond—but it never feels like enough. at the same time though, they hate it when these thoughts come up because they believe that you shouldn’t go into helping somebody expecting that you’ll get something out of it. he hates how much of a hypocrite he is. he hates how he bases so much of his self-worth on the opinions of others, but feels helpless to it. they usually just push these emotions down because samuel feels guilty about them. how can they be a good person if they’re thinking like this? how can they deserve to exist with this mindset? however they get a chance to let out the anger/bitterness/frustration through fighting monsters. kind of disassociating in a way. this also isn’t a good thing because his demeanor is much colder and scarier during combat. having someone who’s felt powerless for so long suddenly gain power is a dangerous thing.

*this mindset when monster fighting shatters when samuel meets krobus and realizes that monsters aren’t just the simple enemy NPCs their brain had been automatically categorizing them as. guilt galore. he gets real depressed about that for a while but yo-yo, krobus, and shane are there to help him. 

*SPEAKING OF SHANE… it’s crush at first sight for samuel because hot damn is shane their type. i mean just look at him. mamma mia. haha anyyyway, they first meet at the stardrop saloon. samuel’s waiting at the bar for his to-go order near where shane is drinking. shane’s looking sad, so samuel gives in and decides they’ll start a convo to maybe distract him from whatever’s bothering him. samuel employs the “crack a dumb joke to hide the fact that i’m nervous because i’m talking to a hot person and then use that opening to introduce myself” strat. shane, being an asshole, is like, “oh so you’re the new farmer. here’s a tip: don’t bother me.” samuel takes 999 damage and their brain immediately goes “THIS IS MY FAULT I FUCKED UP like who wants to be talked to by a stranger when they’re sad goddammit why am i so bad at this?!!” it’s overall not a great first impression. after that, samuel tries to avoid shane out of embarrassment, but circumstances keep making them run into each other. for instance, samuel works a lot with marnie with her being a mentor figure to him in animal husbandry, so he and shane have a lot of opportunity to interact through that (plus marnie is secretly trying to get them closer to each other). through these meetings and shenanigans, samuel and shane get to know each other better until one day they’re friends. then good friends. then best friends. then kiss friends. then marry friends. :)

YOBA (A.K.A. YO-YO): 

*yo-yo is ????? years old and goes by any pronouns but most of the time it's it/they.

*yo-yo is actually THE yoba, but they’re not the completely benevolent creator-of-all-things humans have made them out to be. maybe they were in the past, but now they’re selfish and rude and swear a lot. but they do still care, even if they don’t admit it (tsundere-ass). yoba is currently stuck in the form of a little junimo and is substantially weakened because it gave too much of itself away to the world in the past and got burned for it. because the world kept taking and taking. and now there’s war and pollution and shit and yoba/yo-yo is maybe just a teensy tiny bit angry and bitter now. but it’s ok because now they got this human from another reality to help them reclaim the pieces of itself. and maybe along the way relearn how to love the world again.  

*oh also yoba didn’t create the whole planet like the creation story claims. they’re technically an alien that came across a young planet full of life and decided to stay and help it develop. 

*main reason yo-yo made a contract with samuel is because it needs help finding/reclaiming the pieces of itself. pieces can usually be found in strong monsters empowered by the piece. this isn’t always the case though. sometimes it’s in an ancient artifact. sometimes it’s in a specific place like a temple. sometimes it’s in a person. 

*samuel doesn’t have to deal with having an existential crisis about yo-yo, since he’s from our world where yoba doesn’t even exist as a god. yo-yo claims to be the one responsible for bringing samuel over into the stardew universe, but there are holes in their story. where did yoba even find the power to do such a thing when they’re in such a weakened state? mysterious. 

*the first time yoba reveals itself to shane is kind of chaotic. it’s in the middle of the night when yo-yo suddenly appears in shane’s room, grabs his face with its little stick arms and yells, “WAKE UP!!! YOUR BOYFRIEND IS IN MORTAL PERIL!!!” shane is like, “WHAT THE F–”     it was an act of desperation on yo-yo’s part, because samuel was in trouble and shane was the only one it could think of going to for help. essentially samuel meets something Bad in the deep mines, something that takes him out of commission and puts him in a trance state while draining his lifeforce. y’know, the classic kind of trance state where you need to figure out how to get the person back–how to snap them out of it. yo-yo tried and failed, so that’s where shane comes in. it’s the classic “love-interest-breaks-main-character-out-of-mind-control-with-sheer-power-of-love” trope. except shane does punch samuel during it. lovingly. in the face. hey it works ok.     after the chaos is over and everyone’s safe and gathered together, samuel and yo-yo explain everything to shane (well more like samuel explains everything while yo-yo wishes outloud that they had their memory erasing powers back). shane, who is canonically an atheist, learns that this talking pottymouthed jerkass apple is actually THE yoba and is just like, “yeah. this might as well happen.” and then he remains atheist because what else are you going to do when you learn that god is a talking pottymouthed jerkass apple who calls you a bitch and is also responsible for your partner having to go do dangerous shit. he and yo-yo have a rocky relationship at first to say the least. but once they both realize how much the other cares about samuel, things get a little better. 

*yeah, yoba may be a bitch and they may be angry and they may be bitter, but they really do care, even if they try to convince themselves otherwise. even though so much got taken from it, it still cares about humans and dwarves and shadow people and everything else on the planet. and when it eventually comes down to it, yoba will step up to protect what it loves, even if it means losing everything again. 

SHANE FINCH: 

*this post was technically supposed to just be about my farmer and yo-yo’s lore and stuff, but i gotta give some personal headcanons i have about shane… like for instance his last name is “finch.” because i thought the bird theme was cute. he’s 29 years old, bi, and half asian, half white (in our world that asian half is korean). i’m not being specific because i don’t know if korea even exists in the stardew world, since all we know in the game is that there’s a “ferngill republic” and a “gotoro empire.” i was thinking of just headcanoning that stardew’s planet is essentially the same as earth. so like most of the same countries/nations exist except the history diverged a bit along the way, leading to the ferngill republic and gotoro empire. OK SORRY for the tangent—back on topic.

*so shane is a trans man who started transitioning back in high school. he had two best friends who were very supportive and really helped him on his journey to figure himself out. those two friends were like family to him. it was good that he had this support because his parents were always pretty shitty and shane transitioning just made them act even shittier. the only good family member of shane’s is marnie, who was supportive, but she lived far away, was busy, AND wasn’t on good terms with her sister (shane’s mom), so shane didn’t get to see her much. 

*the moment shane became a legal adult, he got away from his parents, finding a place with his two best friends and moving in together. oh and his friends’ names were rosa and heath. should’ve probably mentioned that earlier oops.     shane, rosa, and heath go to the same college together, suffer student loans, graduate, etc. haven’t thought of what shane would get a degree in yet—most likely something “generic” because he’s unsure of what he wants to do himself (i feel u bby). 

*ok so rosa and heath were dating since high school, but they were so comfortable with shane and vice versa that things never got that awkward living together. however when rosa and heath got married (“yoba, FINALLY,” shane would say), shane felt like it was time to find his own place, much to the devastation of his bffs. the apartment ended up close to where rosa and heath lived of course—the couple made sure of it (“stop backseating my apartment hunting!” “MAKE US”). 

*rosa and heath get pregnant and have a healthy baby girl that they name jasmine. i headcanon jas as black (from heath’s side) and portuguese (rosa’s side). everyone is thrilled about the baby. shane was immediately offered godfather role and he happily accepted. jas was the cutest baby ever and he adored her. he babysat jas all the time. 

*jas was 4 years old when rosa and heath tragically passed away in a car accident. they were coming home from a business dinner when they lost control of their car on some black ice and slid into oncoming traffic. shane was babysitting jas when he got the call. in the span of one cold winter night, shane and jas’s world shattered. 

*rosa and heath didn’t have any reliable relatives either. those relatives only came to take the money and belongings. shane was the only one jas had, so he adopted her. he tried his best to pick up the pieces. he really did. he lasted for a year trying to raise a kid on his own with the salary of a dead-end job, but he knew the situation wasn’t good with the money and how much his mental health was spiraling. he knew he and jas were in dire need of more support (“jas deserves better than this”). so he turned to the one person he had left to rely on: his aunty marnie. and that’s how shane and jas ended up in pelican town.

*shane’s joja jacket was actually originally rosa’s. rosa worked as an accountant for joja and would get free promotional items all the time from the company. the jacket was one of the only things she actually ended up using because “it’s pretty comfy for being joja bs.” she would wear it all the time, much to her more fashion-conscious husband’s chagrin (yet he would patch up any holes she’d get in it anyway). after rosa died, shane kept her jacket. there were a lot of memories in it. 

~~~

ok that’s it for now. if anyone actually read all that, thank you for even wasting your time to process my ramblings. i’m sorry it’s so fucking long like jfc.

*who is mr. qi?

[pianocat939]

IM SORRY. I CANT STAND IT ANYMORE.

I HAVE TO RANT ABOUT THIS.

I saw another fucking video of a preteen doing skincare.

Now I’m like hardly older than these people, but parents SHOULD NOT be letting these kids have those skincare products.

Not because it’s bad for them to know about it, or you know have fun with it, but rather so the underlying effects that can happen later on.

Now as someone who had skin issues since like 9 and even now I hate it when I see anyone but especially youngsters putting on random bullshit on their face.

You see, skin is developing alongside the stages of puberty. This includes producing more oils or having changes in overall skin qualities. So when kids put products into their face (without medical advice) it actually damages their skin more than benefitting it.

Like Drunk Elephant is not worth the fucking hype. I haven’t checked any of their products, nor have I read all the ingredients, but I’ve seen a few of their products have alcohols.

Generally speaking alcohol is just unnecessary chemicals that is put in the products for business reasons (shelf life, or like scent idk). Which often can irritate or cause acne in the skin.

So imagine a little kid puts this stuff on their face. It can not only damage their future skin, but may cause them to be more acne prone too.

Which is where I come to the conclusion that parents SHOULD NOT be buying their kids some expensive hyped up skincare products. Instead, they should the proper research to find ones that are harmless to their youngster skin.

I don’t want people to have to go through the shit I have to do for my medical treatment. (My routine at night is like: 2 cleansers, 3 medicines, 1 redness reducer, and like another 2 moisturizers. Which doesn’t sound bad, but I have to wait for like 10 minutes for the products to soak in for 2 of them. Which ends up in me spending like more than half an hour each night. Worse part is this is all medicinally prescribed.)

Usually the less ingredients it has, the better it is.

I’m sorry, I just had to scream that because I’m sick of preteens doing all this bullshit when I’m sitting here doing my long ass routine.

[rainbowchewynuggets]

IT'S DONE IT'S DONE IT'S DONE IT'S DONE

I've been grinding away at this for months. I can't wait for people to see it. This project turned out to have a lot of gears behind it, so check out the artist statement below!

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

I love this song. The first time I heard it, I already began picturing a story where a woman stumbled upon a gathering of birds in the forest and became so enthralled by their song that she partied with them until she became a bird, herself. It turns out that isn’t too far off from the singer, Yma Sumac’s, first experiences learning to sing. She would imitate the animals near her home in the hills of the Andes mountains as a very young kid, developing a vocal range that would make her famous later on.

From there, I fell into a montage of research on her life and the Peruvian festival music that defined her early career, as well as the complicated story of the exotica music she became most known for in the United States. I followed that up with a month-long dive into northwest Peruvian culture, mythology, ornithology, flora, and topographical studies. Then, I blacked out somewhere during the drawing phase, and now I’m here.

While I really value what I’ve learned while doing this project, I think it’s important to note that I did it all as an amateur researcher and a foreigner to the subject. I decided it would be a little conceited to try to make a totally accurate depiction of a traditional Peruvian festival, so I instead focused on referencing the regional variation of these traditions. Costumes and music have their own specific designs and textures depending on the area, and dances and festivities reflect local history. Yet, it all shares the same themes of celebrating prosperity and surviving hardship. Common motifs and characters reflect a shared heritage and cultural identity that coexists with individuality. It’s all just very cool to me.

So I asked myself, what if these birds had their own version of these traditions? What would a bird sing a folk song about? What would be new and cool to Yma, but still familiar enough that she could join in? (I got lucky, since Peruvian festival culture is already very reverent of birds and feather patterns.)

What I ended up with pulled a lot from the Carnaval de Cajamarca, which originated in the next town over from Yma’s childhood home of Ichocán. It also references these dances, among others:

Huaylarsh - Los Emplumados - Marinera - Tondero - White Dance / Los Chunchos

It’s also important to know that I took a lot of creative liberties with my research to pull the story together. I hope I haven’t used any elements in a harmful or insensitive way–and if I have, I’d like to know so that I can apologize. (I also missed out on some cool stuff, like the White Dance always having shaker beads on the legs.) I highly encourage you to have a look at some of the sources I did, and to look further if you’re interested. I found it all very enlightening, and I hope you will too.

Yma’s wikipedia, which seems like a mostly accurate overview based on other sources

Her official website, curated by a fan and friend

A segment on NPR about her musical career

The interview I got the opening from

The ornithology archive that saved my ass

I’d like to work on uploading all the frames as an image reel somewhere so they can be looked at individually. Might take a while, though.

Thanks for watching!

(To those using a screen reader, the video description follows this message. I'd like to apologize for putting the description as the last thing on the post. Not only is it extremely long, but this seemed to be the rare instance where the description would benefit from the context of the post's commentary before being read itself. I wrote and formatted this description in a way that I hoped would apply to aid various disabilities that impede enjoying music videos, and I am very interested in getting feedback.)

DESCRIPTION

[The following is presented as an animatic (a series of still images edited into a video) set to music. The art is drawn with condensed yet fuzzy pastel-like linework and full color. The song used is “Chuncho” by Yma Sumac. The song was composed to imitate the various sounds of tropical birds and animals. It has no lyrics, at least in a traditional sense. I, the describer, have tried my best to translate the especially abstract nature of this song into language that can be interpreted through text. Please use the best of your imagination to fill in the rest. An audio description will always refer to the visual description that follows it.

Audio: A male interviewer asks, “Since you are referred to the bird who became a woman in your native Peru, Ms. Sumac, may we hear your exotic voice?”

Visuals: A title card appears with gold lettering on a black background. It reads one word: Chuncho. The word is depicted as if it were carved into a flat surface with loose individual strokes.

Audio: A woman answers, “I will try to imitate the birds, as I did in my earliest years in the mountains of Peru.”

Visuals: Credits appear, also in gold text: Sung by Yma Sumac (Zoila Augusta Emperatriz Chàvarri del Castillo. Drawn by Carlie Hughes (rainbowchewynuggets).

Audio: The music begins with the steady four-note strumming of a guitar, which will continue throughout the song. Then, it is accompanied by low ragged notes from a heavy woodwind instrument.

Visuals: A green cicada flicks its wings as it rests on a plant with jagged leaves and a little white flower growing from the middle. Beetles of green, red, and yellow crawl around on trees and ferns among puffy yellow blooms. Yellow humpback beetles huddle together on a cold stone surface as mothlike butterflies cling to hanging purple-grey moss in the background. A cluster of butterflies of black, green, blue, orange, purple, and red flare their wings along stems and vines. A line of spiny cocoons hang from a vine leading up the center of the group.

Audio: A vocalist, the same woman as before, begins to sing in vocables. Her first notes are short, round, and bubbly, like the chirping of a small bird. The lilt of a flute follows.

(“B-bm, bui-bui-buiii…”)

Visuals: A small village sits on the side of a forested and scrub-covered mountain at night. Buildings twinkle with yellow and blue window light through the darkness. At the edge of the forest, a tall lean woman appears with warm orange skin, long black hair, a simple green dress cinched at the waist with blue trim on the neck, hem, wrist, and waist, and a powder blue shawl tied at the chest. She sneaks away from the village into the temperate tropical forest, glancing back to make sure hasn’t been followed. She grows more at ease as she leaves the buildings behind and strides between bushes, deeper into the trees. She passes a flowering plant with orange petals. Its bulbs are held aloft on long, long stems.

Audio: The vocalist sings in elongated threads of notes, wavering in a minor key in a mischievous way.

(“Whu, hu-uuuu…”)

Visuals: The woman grazes her fingers along a bush with little black berries and white spiky flowers. Her hand passes up and down with the shape of the bush, like the rise and fall of an ocean wave. She walks uphill, past pink clover and increasingly frequent stones.

Audio: The vocalist clicks and rolls her tongue with her notes, like drops of water splashing across stones.

(“Dlu, dlu-dlu-dlu-dlu-buiii…”)

Visuals: A voice suddenly gets her attention. The voice passes by as a green line with wide wave forms. The woman follows it. She passes through a stone forest–dense moss-covered rock formations that reach up toward the sky. The ground below is streaked with snake trails. The line of song is now yellow. It leads her forward along a trail through the rocks. She climbs a more precarious formation of boulders, through dense shrubbery and a dramatic rocky landscape. As the voice shifts redder, her colors shift pinker. Even the environment’s colors are shifting to pinks and blues. She climbs a hill, past tall spindly trees and a nearly vertical mountainside. The pink line of song leads her still upward.

Audio: The vocalist belts out the deep throaty call of a tropical bird trying to be heard far and wide. The notes increase in frequency, then widen into a whoop that softens to a murmur. The flute follows her with a few short forceful notes.

(“Ah, bya bya bya-bya-bya-bya-bya-byaaa, whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-wi, wa-wa-wa wiii…”)

Visuals: When the woman reaches the top of the hill, a light shines up at her from the other side, returning her original colors. Below, she sees a gathering of human-sized bird people celebrating on a leafy platform. They’re dancing in different sized circles around a tree at the center. Rainbow colored ribbons of different lengths have been tied to the branches of the tree and hang down to form the silhouette of a condor. More ribbons and colorful bulbs hang from the leaves above. The line of song (now light blue) travels in a circle around the tree trunk. The camera zooms in, revealing details of the birds and their costumes. The birds are pigeons, hawks, cuckoos, seedbirds, and corvids. They’re all dressed in colorful hats, vests, slacks, and dresses with patterns that reflect those of their feathers. A circle of spotted woodpeckers closest to the trunk wear purple gowns and party hats. The party’s singing expands the blue circle of light. A wider circle of yellow, green, and white birds sit and watch the celebration from the edges of the platform. As a line of bright manakin birds zip by with their hands clasped together, the woman approaches from a nearby branch. She’s enticed by the party and joins the dance, clasping hands with a green parrot and leading the line with a broad smile on her face.

Audio: The vocalist makes a quick sudden series of escalating notes, then makes a hard sound with her teeth and returns to a low whoop. The flute echoes her.

(Ba-bana-baba-cht!,  waw waw waw waw waw waw waw wiii…”)

Visuals: The birds switch to individual dances. A short red woodpecker and a tan long-necked bird with ribbons in her hair dance and sing together, their lines of song intertwining. The woman and three pigeons in red and black dresses stomp their heels in a quartet dance. She follows their steps flawlessly, familiar with the type of dance. When they begin to sing and whistle, she joins them–though her voice isn’t as strong as theirs and her line of song is thin and brittle.

Audio: The vocalist makes a low growl, at first imperceptible, that grows to a steady rumble. The flute follows.

(“Rhhh…, rhh, rhh rhhh…”)

Visuals: Then, the lights darken and redden. The woman stops to notice all the other birds heading to the back of the platform. They climb and flutter up to sit in fruit-bearing branches that grow just beyond. The woman finds herself a spot and picks a piece of fruit to eat. She takes a bite as a show begins. A band of various birds wearing ponchos and cloth hats sit down by the show platform. They play their instruments (flute, guitars and a drum) and count in the performance.

Audio: The vocalist makes more short bubbly chirps. They grow higher in small strings of notes until the phrase ends with a low long note.

(“Bom-bom, t-bom-bom-bom, mbom-bom wiii…”)

Visuals: Five owls appear, bathed in magenta spotlight before the center tree trunk. All of them have their yellow-spotted wings wrapped to mostly cover their black and gold-trimmed dresses. The four owls on the sides are short and red, while the one in the center is tall and bright purple. As all five begin to sing a golden song, they operatically open their wings and extend their feathers. As the light darkens to violet, the black and gold patterns in the folds of their wings leap out as if exposed to blacklight. They extend their arms upward and then double over to kneel on the stage, fully splaying their wings in a dramatic display. The woman watching is transfixed.

Audio: The vocalist rolls a noise from the back of her throat. Once, twice, three times–before hitching the roll up and down and letting it trail off. The flute makes a low hollow arc of a note.

(“Ghhh, ghhh, ghh gh-gh-gheee…”)

Visuals: Cut to the next performance. Two teams of blackbirds with long waving feathers compete, standing on each other’s shoulders to form two pyramids. The one at the top of each team lunges forward to try to strike the other with a long stick, propelled by their team. Their feathers glow with yellow light from above. The team on the left—with orange vests and red sashes—strikes first, only nearly missing. They gloat as the lime vest and green sash team on the right recoils and protests. Then, it’s the green team’s turn to take a confident lunge, forcing the red to frantically pull back in time to dodge. On the next strike, the red team buries the stick in the top of the enemy pyramid (actually tucked under the green leader’s arm). The victim feigns a mortal wound, and the entire team flies away. The red team poses, victorious. The red leader gets down to the floor to greet the widow of the green team, wearing a green dress. She peers at him from behind a silky black wing. As soon as he lands, she whacks him over the head with her own concealed stick. He is surprised. She is unamused.

Audio: The vocalist lets out a ghostly wail that wavers wildly like an eerie wind, higher and higher. A shaker instrument rumbles beneath her voice.

(“Woaaa… woaaa… woaa–”)

Visuals: Next, it’s dark. Three colorful birds in masks and costumes tread the air at an angle on the left side of the screen against a blue and green background. There’s a yellow spiky one, representing lightning. A blue round-feathered one, representing rain. And a spade-feathered green one, representing trees. Long beaded threads tied to their wings and tails wave and tangle across the screen as a group of five hummingbirds in shades of red struggle to survive the “storm” raging around them. The colored ribbons of the central tree are muted and flutter with the power of the wind. Two other birds hug the trunk, nearly out of sight. There’s a prop on the floor to the right made to look like a stone alcove, where more hummingbirds are hiding. The storm bringer birds beat their wings hard, casting the strings of lightning, water, and leaf shaped beads in huge chaotic waves. The five hummingbirds in vests and dresses wince and tumble against the wind, flying together in a tight circle. The threads crisscross behind them, an overwhelming force on the tiny birds’ scale. A red line of song floats up to reach them, guiding them down to the nest.

Audio: When her wail is at its highest, the vocalist pushes it further into the voice of a shrill songbird. The note hangs high in the air, then takes a few steps down and up. The segment ends with the sudden interjection of the low round voice–as if in surprise–and a trailing mumble.

(“Haaa, aa-aa aa-aa aa-aa, hoa? Ah, bw-huh…”)

Visuals: Those in the stone nest finish singing and reunite with the others, pulling them down to safety. A blackbird hiding behind the trunk spreads its wings, sitting on the shoulders of a brown woodpecker. The blackbird’s vest and wingspan are covered in yellow, signaling the coming of daylight. The storm birds retreat and sit still on a nearby branch. The wind is suddenly gone.

Audio: The guitar plays alone.

Visuals: After the stage performances, the audience members move back to the platform. They’re gathered off to the far left side of the central tree trunk, standing in a circle around a single figure. The light of the gathering area is deep plum-purple in far off areas and warm dull pink over the crowd. The empty space around the single dancer is salmon red, and the figure herself is blue.

Audio: The vocalist perfectly mimics the sound of a flutter, of delicate waving in the wind.

(“W-w-w-w-w-w-w”)

Visuals: The camera zooms in on her hand as it flits a pink handkerchief in the air.

Audio: The vocalist belts a pair of bold staunch vocables. The second note is held for several seconds before fading out.

(“Kyen, kyen…”)

Visuals: The camera pulls back to reveal the rest of her. She’s a blue eagle with wings that grade from red at the arms to pink to blue at the wingtips in a wavy pattern. Her smiling beak is bright pink. Her dress is royal blue with reddish-pink trimmed ruffles on the hem of the skirt, waist frill, neck frill, and the flower decoration on the side of her head. She stands with the hem of her dress in one hand and the handkerchief extended in the other in an open invitation to dance. A pale pink spotlight frames her head and shoulders against the darkness, and a dark pink line of song passes behind her. Her partner, an eagle of the same coloration with a blue vest and pants, pink shirt, pale orange sash, a blue hat in one hand, and a pink hanky of his own raised in the other, is calling to her. He puts his hands behind his back and takes high steps toward her. When the two are close, they turn and walk parallel to each other in a slow circle. The male’s back is to his partner. He looks at her over his shoulder with a smile and abruptly splays his feathers to be cute. There’s a layer of pink under his outer coat. She grins, entertained.

Audio: The vocalist repeats the two vocables, twisting the end of the second up into a high wavering trill that eventually soothes and disappears.

(“Kyen, kye–eee, ee, eee, ee…”)

Visuals: The two turn to face each other, circling tighter and tighter in unified song until they’re face to face, looking deep into each other’s eyes. With another turn, they’ve passed by each other and out of sight.

Audio: The vocalist makes a whisper, a ghost of the two vocables. Then, a few quick whistles, barely loud enough to hear.

(“Hyo, hyo”)

Visuals: The woman, who has been captivated by the dance, suddenly notices that the crowd has dispersed around her. Partners are walking off in all directions, leaving her alone. The dance is over.

Audio: The guitar picks up, getting faster and louder for a bit.

Visuals: The woman walks alone in the blue night air along a tangle of tree branches that form a pathway. She walks with her hands behind her back, her face looking preoccupied and a little disappointed. Bushels of soft leaves pass by in the background.

Audio: A high, light pleasant note from the vocalist overtakes the guitar. It grows until it fills the soundscape.

(“Aaa…”)

Visuals: An orange song reaches her from the direction she came, and she stops. When she turns, she sees a blue swift standing on the branch path, far behind her in an opening in the trees. The underside of his feathers is dingy orange, and he’s wearing a black vest, white pants, a rusty red sash around his waist, a bright green kerchief around his neck, and an orange rectangular accessory tied around his neck like a necklace. His face is obscured by a white hat with an orange band. He bows low with a hand on the hat. The hat comes off, revealing inviting eyes and a smiling orange beak. The woman grins and accepts the invitation with determination.

Audio: The vocalist draws long high vocables that resemble a wail. They trail off with a low note.

(“Whoa whoaaa…”)

Visuals: She and the swift untie the fabric around their necks and step toward each other as the line of song forms a ring above them. The woman holds the ends of the shawl in her hands and her hands at her hips with the body of the shawl hanging behind her waist. The bird holds his kerchief out in one hand with the hat in the other, held behind his back. He takes measured winding steps along the branches. The woman mirrors his steps, then pushes off of the main path and lands on an outcropping branch.

Audio: The vocalist’s song wavers back up and demurely bobs up and down, intertwined with tweeting from the flute.

(“Hoa…  ohee…”)

Visuals: Her voice, seafoam green and a little stronger than before, trails behind her. She darts back onto the main branch and ducks behind the bird, then circles around to face him, the two only a few feet apart. They exchange steps pushing the other forward and back and flicking their garments in time with their movements. The woman’s voice grows stronger, nearly matching his. The bird quickly catches up as she moves backward, dancing beside her. The two dancers then leap from the main branch and fall down into the rocky forest below, passing by grassy plateaus and vines creeping through stone. Their song follows all the way down. They leap across boulders in the moonlight, side by side. The swift suddenly stops and folds his kerchief around the center of the shawl, hitching the two together. 

Audio: The vocalist belts a complex series of syllables that mimic the heavy majestic cawing of a large bird or hawk. The flute makes itself known a little as the voice fades out.

(“Hlau-lau-lau hau-au-wau-wa-wiii…”)

Visuals: The woman, at the receiving end of the momentum, is swung wide and lets out a vibrant complex line of song that could match any bird’s. The two pull closer to each other and end their song on a low steady note. Then, they bow to each other as the camera pulls back. They’re standing on a rock that rises above a basin of  water among huge formations of rock. Pairs of birds dance all around them in the shallows.

Audio: The guitar takes over for a bit.

Visuals: The camera cuts to an upward view of a varied group of birds sitting in branches, staring downward with interest. The light from the moon coming down through a break in the trees above is now cool green. The light coming up from where the birds are looking is orange-red. 

Audio: The vocalist lets out the aggressive growling of a cat.

(“U-wau, wau-wau-wau-wau”)

Visuals: Below, the woman is dancing in a line with three reddish woodpeckers in a greenish clearing in the trees. They wear intricately detailed dresses in different combinations of bright green, yellow, red, and black with geometric and floral embroidery. The dresses are cinched at the waist with a piece of fabric covered in colored bands. Their heads are covered in scarves with the same colors and patterns. They sing and step aggressively toward the left of the screen. At the other side of the clearing, a line of four red and white faced woodpeckers with green beaks and wings face right. They wear bright green hats, kerchiefs, and sashes, yellow and black striped vests, and dark red pants with yellow tassels at the ankles. Their black shoes tap against the ground as they make quick little dance steps and flutter yellow handkerchiefs. They hold onto the brims of their hats and then lean down with a flourish of their arms, exposing the red crests of their heads sticking up underneath. The dance then changes formation. The girls dance in a line to the left as the boys step in a line to the right. 

Audio: The growl hushes down to a wavering whisper, like wings beating in the dark.

(“Tchwahh-cwah-cwah-cwah-cwah-cwah-cwah-cwah…”)

Visuals: Out on a cliff by a waterfall, the scene is bathed in cyan. The line of dancers–alternating male, female, male, female–do a hopping dance from partners on the left to those on the right and back again as they move along the cliff, passing behind the waterfall as it disappears into the greenery in the foreground.

Audio: The guitar asserts itself again.

Visuals: Everything is suddenly red. A guitarist in a blue poncho and a red neck sash frets the neck of a guitar with a brown feathered hand. Rainbow ribbons are tied to the headstock. A deep orange song emanates from the strings.

Audio: The vocalist quickly accompanies the guitar with a harmonized version of the growl that revs up climatically, taking steps up the scale until it’s at its absolute height.

(“U-wa-wa ee-ee eh-oh! Oh-oh-oh-ohh!”)

Visuals: A congress of the partygoing birds stand in lines facing each other, all wearing blue outfits with red kerchiefs with rainbow tassels on them. The group jumps up and down in unison as part of a dance. The party breaks into smaller dances, and the woman dances by herself. She’s wearing a green skirt and flowy purple top with red underskirt, waist cinch, and scarf. Rainbow tassels are attached to the overskirt, and they swish with her movements. Beside her are a hawk woman and a pair of long billed bird men dancing in a circle with their ankles locked. A pair of red birds with white streaks on their wings suddenly hoist the woman into the air, as other birds are hoisted in the distance. As she’s held aloft, she sings and spreads her arms, revealing more tassels on her top, resembling wings. Her song is immense and beautiful. The camera focuses on one of the hoisted birds in the background, who has executed a handstand with the person who threw them. The blackbird’s feathers are all sorts of bright colors. The song passes by behind him. The excitement of the party disguises the presence of a looming pair of yellow slitted eyes peering out from a dark spot between the leaves nearby. A trio of purple pigeons dancing in a line with twigs and colored strings in their hands dip and weave together. The one in front balks, noticing the threat at last.

Audio: The high energy of the music suddenly cuts out. The shrill call of a small bird climbs up out of the silence.

(“Eee…”)

Visuals: A striped short legged pampas cat pounces into the center of the dance field. It misses the birds, but the illusion is shattered. The bird people are just birds again. They fly in a frenzy up through the trees to the safety of the early morning sky. The hilltop erupts with silhouettes of wings.

Audio: When the small bird’s call is at its highest, it tumbles back down and transforms into a low disquieting wail. The guitar re-enters.

(“Ee-ee-ee-ah-ahh ahh oohhh…”)

Visuals: The pampas cat has retreated into the dim tawny forest. It stands on a bent tree branch among bushes and hanging moss and stares into the camera with glowing yellow pupils. A tiny rodent scurries by and into a bush. The cat notices and darts after it. Nearby, dozens of bats hang from the underside of a rock formation that extends over a field of berry bushes. Their sleepy heads are tucked into their folded wings. A straggler flaps up to join the rest as the sun continues to rise. Elsewhere, a hive with wasp-like insects resting on the outside hangs over a rock. Sunlight gleams over the scene from a break in the trees in the background. A large brown mouse climbs up on the rock, backlit by the sun. It grabs a wasp in its teeth and leaves before the rest of the hive can wake up.

Audio: The vocalist makes a low steady murmur. A couple shakes from the shaker instrument follow.

(“Hoo…”)

Visuals: A colony of green and brown frogs with purple eye ridges, yellow faces, and orange bellies are asleep on dewy ridges of rock. A green cicada hangs out on a leaf off to the top left corner. The mouse jumps down through their resting spot, waking them all up. The frogs croak a green song as the cicada hangs on for dear life on the swinging leaf. The wind moans through the crevices of another stone forest. The little flowering shrubs that grow on the rocks bristle in the breeze. A variety of green, yellow, and blue lizards poke their heads out of the rocks, into the morning light.

Audio: The vocalist repeats the murmur. The flute follows this time.

(“Hoo…”)

Visuals: The camera pulls back to view the entire rock formation. The still rising sun shines only on the top half of right-facing stones. Long spindly tree trunks grow from the top left, out of sight. Long grass waves on the ground below. An alpaca-like vicuña raises its head from the long grass, facing the light. In the branches of the trees above, various birds perch facing left.

Audio: The vocalist makes a mysterious sound that begins as a harsh sound between her teeth and ends as a whisper. It echoes in the background.

(“Chwah-ah…”)

Visuals: The camera turns back to the village. Golden light casts diagonally across the brown roofs and tan buildings. The silhouette of a small bird flies toward the center of town.

Audio: The vocalist makes the sound again, then pulls the whisper up into a harsh repeated rasp from the back of her throat.

(“Chwah-ah qwah-qw-qw-qw-qw-qwah-qwah-qwah”)

Visuals: Down in between the one-story houses, the bird flutters down. Long shadows lay across a passage leading toward a door on the side of a building. We see the shadow of the woman land in the soft dirt path where the bird’s would have. She heads toward the door at a walking pace.

Audio: The call returns to a whisper. The vocalist clicks her throat in a short series of hollow sounds, nearly like the creaking of wood.

(“Qwk-qwk-qwk-qwk-qwk, qwk qwk qwk qwk”)

Visuals: As she opens the door to enter the purple interior light of the house, we see that she’s back in her green dress, but now her shawl is red. The sun glints in her hair. Before she goes inside, she looks back and winks at the camera with a smile. Then, she slowly pulls the door behind her until it’s shut.

Audio: The vocalist lets out her breath entirely as the accompanying music trickles into silence.

(“Haaa…”)

Visuals: The screen is black for a few seconds.

Audio: The high whistling call of a green manakin can be heard over the rustling of forest trees. The call’s tone is raised at the end, like it’s asking a question.

(“Twee?… Twee?… Twee?… Twee?”)

Visuals: The end card appears. Yellow and green lettering and a border lay on a black background. The text reads: Yma Sumac. Peruvian soprano and composer. October 13th 1922 until November 1st 2008. Biographical and reference info in description. Chuncho, 1953. Written by Moises Vivanco. Capitol Records, Universal Music Publishing Group. Carlie Hughes. Tumblr @rainbowchewynuggets. www.carliehughes.com. End ID]

INDEX

[heavyhitterheaux]

Commitment Part 2

AN: yall didn't think I was just about to leave yall hanging? TOXICITY AT ITS FINEST.

Synopsis: After fully committing to being in a relationship with Jack, he can't help but to still have reservations in the back of his mind that you might go back on your word.

Pairing: Jack Harlow x Previously Toxic!Reader

Read Part 1 first

Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere

After fully committing to being in a relationship with Jack for a few months, everything had been going perfectly.

At least from your point of view.

You had cut off everyone for him including people that you had been messing around with for a number of years.

You remember thinking before you made the decision that you would miss the multiple gifts and expensive trips, however, you had gotten something 100 times better.

Gifts couldn’t keep you warm at night, but your boyfriend could. 

It was your goal to make this work and to be able to hopefully not get your heart broken in the process or do anything to break his. 

Jack had shown you his potential of being a good boyfriend to you early on even when the two of you only had been friends with benefits. You could tell that he genuinely cared for you and wanted the best for you as well as the situationship that you two had been in. 

You hadn’t been in a relationship for the long term since you were 21 and admit that you were scared shitless.

Scared of getting your heart broken for the second time.

The first time had done a number on you and the recovery process had involved you treating men as if they were disposable.

Because in your mind, they were.

Since you had been treated the same way by someone who you thought that you were going to eventually marry. 

You had just finished a video shoot for your new single and would be meeting Jack and the rest of PG at one of your favorite clubs in Vegas around midnight.

They were celebrating Jack and Urban’s birthday since both of the days were extremely close. You had already spent Jack’s birthday with him and had gotten him more gifts than he knew what to do with, but knew that he wanted to do something together with Urban.

As far as PG goes, you knew that they weren’t very fond of you considering how you acted towards Jack for close to three years. 

They would see how this would affect him and they were honestly surprised that you finally said yes to being his girlfriend. 

They were always nice to you, but you could tell that if Jack saw an opportunity to get out of this relationship tomorrow that they would tell him to take it.

It definitely hurt your feelings in a way, but because of your reputation and how you had acted in the past, you could only get so mad.

The best thing you could do is to try to prove everyone wrong and make them see that it had been a good decision on behalf of Jack. 

You were putting the finishing touches on your makeup and all that was left to do was slip on your shoes, while your hair was currently in tribal braids that Tiffany had done for you earlier in the day. 

Your hotel wasn’t far from the club seeing as you were staying on the strip and decided to catch an uber. Even though it wasn’t far, walking in these tall ass heels would not be smart on your part and you could only imagine the blisters that would show up tomorrow morning. 

You knew that you would probably be going to leave with Jack anyway when the night was over. Both of you made note to spend as much time as you could with one another since both of you would be in Vegas for the next three days. 

Once you arrived at your destination, the bouncer sent you in the direction of V.I.P. and told you that Jack had been expecting you.

You would get butterflies in your stomach every time his name was mentioned or before you knew that you would see him. 

You hadn’t seen your boyfriend in at least a week and was excited to be able to spend time with him as well as his friends.

You saw it as an opportunity for you to get to know them better and to show that you really were a good person deep down despite what may have been said about you before. 

It was time to hopefully turn over a new leaf and change the way that people perceived you in the spotlight. 

Making your way toward V.I.P., you spotted Urban sitting next to your boyfriend looking high as a kite and your boyfriend who literally had one girl on his lap whispering in her ear making her laugh while there was another one sitting on the opposite side of him trying to gain his attention. 

Ace made eye contact with you and was trying to warn Jack that you were there and to stop his antics. You assumed because it was so loud that he didn’t quite understand what Ace was saying and he didn’t know until you were right up on him.

“What the fuck is going on?” You said while looking at your boyfriend who you were now making eye contact with and he simply shrugged. You were doing your best to stay calm, but deep down you wanted to murder him. 

“Celebrating my birthday of course. What’s wrong?” Jack curiously asked as he turned away from the girl on his lap and gave you his full attention. 

“Are you…. Are you serious right now? Celebrating with a whole bunch of bitches who aren’t your girlfriend sitting on your lap? Oh, and yall can move away from him before I do it my damn self and trust you won’t like it if I do it.” You replied while crossing your arms and the two girls did what they were asked.

PG was watching the entire scene unfold in front of them and the exchange had made it awkward and no one quite knew what to do.

“Yeah, I’m serious. Or did you forget how you acted towards me for almost three damn years?”

“We aren’t doing this right now. There was not a title to what we were! And I told you that from the beginning and you were okay with it!”

“And I kept asking you to be my girlfriend, but what would you say? Oh, that’s right you said no because apparently you wanted me as well as the string of married men to sleep with and have access to.”

“Oh shit.” You heard Shloob mutter before looking between the both of you.

“But, I told you yes months ago, so why are you acting like this?” You were honestly trying your best to fight back tears, but you knew that it was only a matter of time before they were to fall. 

“Oh, so you don’t like when you get a taste of your own medicine, huh?”

By now, Urban had stifled a laugh and you did your best to ignore it. Out of all of the people in PG, you knew that he really didn’t like you for what you had done to Jack. 

Hated you was probably more of the correct word. 

“What are you even talking about?!”

“I know you haven’t given them up and have been cheating on me this entire time. You think I’m honestly that stupid to believe that you cut off everybody for me? People you've been dealing with for years?”

You were standing there with tears in your eyes not believing that Jack had the audacity to accuse you of something such as cheating without having any evidence. 

“What makes you even think that?!”

“Simple. Your track record.” Jack replied while shrugging.

“I’m not cheating on you and I haven’t since you asked me to be your girlfriend. Why would you even ask me if this was going to be the end result? See for your fucking self.”

You immediately threw your phone at him and rushed to get as far away as possible from him.

There was nothing for you to hide and he even knew the passcode to your phone.

It was only a matter of time before he felt like a complete asshole. 

Once you made your way back outside, the tears were flowing down your face and you didn’t bother to do anything to stop it.

You had no idea where you were headed, but it had to be far away from Jackman Thomas Harlow.

You had been walking the strip and trying to hug yourself in an attempt to keep warm because the temperature had definitely dropped a few degrees.

The pain in your feet from your heels had since long been forgotten and you knew the only thing that would be able to make you numb and take the pain away at least temporarily before you figured out what you were going to do was alcohol.

There was a little bar on the strip that you had passed two blocks before and you turned around to make your way back to it.

You took a seat at the bar and the bartender could tell from your solemn expression that something was obviously wrong.

“That type of night, huh?” He calmly asked while looking over at you.

“Yeah, but I guess it was my fault to begin with. Can I get an amaretto sour?”

“Sure thing. And how is it your fault if you don’t mind me asking?”

As he began to make your drink, you took a deep breath before answering him.

“So. I was friends with benefits with this guy for almost three years. But I also had other friends with benefits during that time as well. The first guy I mentioned would ask me periodically if I ever saw myself in a relationship with him and I honestly didn’t know at first. It wasn’t until I really got to know him that I told him that I could.”

You took a deep breath before continuing the story as your drink was placed down in front of you. 

You immediately downed it and asked for another one.

“And then what happened?”

“So, earlier this year he got fed up about it and told me that I needed to give him an answer within 24 hours and I took some time to think about it. By the end of the night, I told him that I wanted to be in a relationship with him and that I was cutting off everyone for him.”

Drinks number two and three were now gone.

“And then tonight we’re supposed to be celebrating his birthday as well as his best friend’s birthday and I go to V.I.P. to see girls all over him and he was like ‘oh, so I guess you don’t like getting a taste of your own medicine’. Basically he was convinced that I had been cheating on him this entire time and did the same thing to get back at me. But the thing is that I haven’t looked another man’s way since he asked me to be his girlfriend. I threw my phone at him and walked the strip and now I’m here. I guess I got what I deserved.”

Number five, six, and seven were now gone. 

“I literally have nothing to hide and he knows the passcode to my phone anyway. He’ll be disappointed when he doesn’t find what he’s looking for.  I’m just so hurt at the fact that he thought I would do that to him. Everything had been going so well from my point of view but I guess not. His friends don’t like me, every time I try to get to know them it’s like they don’t even bother.”

After you had thrown your phone at Jack, he simply rolled his eyes.

He slipped it into his pocket before beginning to once again partake in the festivities around him. 

However, now the phone felt like a million pounds and he wanted to know if you were telling the truth.

No.

He needed to know.

It wasn’t until he began scrolling through it when he noticed that you had been telling the truth the entire time.

Now he felt like shit.

He had been the only one that you had been steadily communicating with and if he went to a text thread of one of the people that you said that you had cut off, you never responded even if they were being persistent. 

“Fuck.”

“What’s wrong?” Urban asked while looking over at him. Urban didn’t like you in the slightest and wasn’t interested in getting to know you no matter how much his best friend wanted him to.

“She was telling the truth.”

“Wait, what?” Now Urban had gotten a dumbfounded look on his face. 

“She really did cut everyone off for me. She literally only texts me back and no one else.”

“Damn, I honestly thought that she hadn’t changed.” Urban replied while scratching the back of his neck.

“Me too and now I have no idea what to fucking do. I have her damn phone so how am I even supposed to know where she is?”

“Did she have her air pods? You can track her if she has them on her.”

“And then what? I find her and I know for a fact that she probably doesn’t want to talk to me.”

“You aren’t going to find out sitting here.”

Once Jack had gotten outside, he turned on the feature that would allow him to locate the air pods and hopefully you had them on you.

Otherwise he didn’t know what he was going to do.

He wouldn’t be able to live with himself if something happened to you knowing that you were more than likely by yourself.

It took him about twenty minutes to find you at a bar on the strip completely wasted with your head resting on your hands.

Jack looked up at the bartender who simply shook his head at him. 

“I was trying to see if I could call someone for her, but she told me she doesn’t have her phone and couldn’t remember your number. I take it you’re the boyfriend?.”

“No worries, I got her. And yes.” Jack responded back to the bartender before looking over at you.

“Y/N?”

You’d recognize that voice anywhere.

The voice of the person that you absolutely wanted nothing to do with. 

“Get the fuck away from me, Jackman.”

“Baby, just come on. You need to sleep this off and then we can talk about it tomorrow.”

“No, you don’t trust me. I can’t be with someone who doesn’t trust me.”

“Baby, please. I’ll explain everything tomorrow.”

“Just… you got what you wanted. The same way I treated you is the same way you got back at me. I got it, okay? You won if the goal was to hurt me back.”

“Y/N, I’m not talking about this while you’re drunk. I’m not leaving my girl by herself at 3 in the morning on the Las Vegas strip.”

“Who says I’m even your girl anymore? And I may be drunk, but I know for a fact that you hurt my fucking feelings.”

“And I’m sorry about that, I really am.”

“Hmm? Are you? Did you find what you were fucking looking for in my phone? I told you that it was you! That I only fucking wanted you!” You scream at him with tears cascading down your face. 

“I know… I….”

“Happy six month anniversary to us, huh?”

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[cierraonline]

S1EP6: BLACK COSPLAYING! LADY IN THE GREEN DRESS! BILLIE JEALOUS OF ZOE!

1 “I feel like I’m going to throw up.” “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

2 “I think I’m developing a TikTok obsession.” “Same, sometimes I just have to delete the app.”

3 “I just found out us having two refrigerators isn’t normal.” “Well, it’s how we grew up, so who cares? Plus, we have two different diets and tastes.”

Rolling. . . . . .

Whatever TF This Is Podcast

Season 1 | Episode 6

BILLIE BLACK COSPLAYING! LADY IN THE GREEN DRESS! BILLIE USED TO BE JEALOUS OF ZOE!

“Aww, did you think we were going to leave you hanging again for another three weeks?” Billie teases. “Well, my beautiful lovely people, you’re watching 'Whatever the Fuck This Is Podcast,' and today’s guest is Zoe.” The camera spans over to the couple’s childhood friend.

“Hey!” Zoe waves to the camera from her position on the couch on the right side of Siren. “I can’t believe I was finally invited to the podcast.”

“Trust me, it’s not that fun,” Siren shook her head. “We sit on this couch for hours trying not to rant or lose focus and deal with Billie’s long-ass useless storytimes that never gets to the point.”

“My storytimes are superior. You’re just a hater,” Billie playfully rolls her eyes.

“You saying shit like that is the reason why your fans think we hate each other and should divorce,” Siren mentions one of the obvious comments they see about their relationship from Billie’s side of fans.

“Bro! It’s only the new fans, or as some of my old fans call them, ‘What I Was Made For’ fans,” Billie straightened her posture. “And I just wanna be like, what is wrong with you guys? Like, what’s not clicking, Steven?”

“I think it’s funny until they find themselves making analytical videos in a factual voice, and then dumbasses start to believe it. Then it just turns into a debate between the old and new fans.”

“You mean like how a few people are saying Billie is doing black cosplay?” Zoe mentions.

“Oh my fucking God, yes!” Billie jumped up in her seat. “I’m just like, how the fuck did we get to that conclusion? Everything I’m doing now, I was doing before. So how am I black cosplaying?”

“Well, let’s ask the only black person in the room,” Claudia turns her head to Siren, who was quiet about the situation.

“That sounds racist,” Siren laughs, turning to make eye contact with Claudia.

“Oh my Go—” Claudia covered her mouth, worried that she actually said something racially wrong.

“Relax,” Siren saw how the wheels were quickly turning in the older woman’s mind. “Do I think you’re black cosplaying or appropriating? No. Do I think you are strongly influenced by black culture? Yes.”

“And I’ve said that many times!” Billie expresses. “So I’m just confused on how things got blurred.”

“I can actually answer that question,” Siren says.

“Okay, answer it.”

“It’s a common thing where white artists will say they are influenced by black culture, but the only time we see that is when they are in their rebellion era. We’ve seen this notably with Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber.”

“Justin? No?” Billie shook her head in denial.

“Are you dumb? Let’s be real, in what world would Justin Bieber have been able to put out a song with Big Sean and then the next album is Journals? Now, let’s fact-check this. Yes, Justin says he was doing all types of shit with his friends before the fame. But the thing is, they were white friends. There’s a big difference in having white friends doing wild shit and having black friends doing wild shit. Towards the Believe album, Justin entered his rebellion era and coincidentally started hanging out with Young Money Entertainment young crew. You have a white boy who is starting to rebel, and to make it noticeable that he’s rebelling, he hangs out with people who, at the time, had young black people in their palms.”

“So how does that equal to Justin black cosplaying?”

“It’s simple. Nobody but him benefited and profitted from being seen altogether. Justin befriends Lil Twist, has a song with Tyga, has a whole tattoo sleeve, dresses a certain way typical in streetwear in the black community, and has the two linked chains around his neck. It’s ‘oh, he’s in his bad boy era.’ Journals comes out, he has a whole new fan base where black people are now looking at him that weren't before. Journals becomes his best-curated album to this day, the album that has mostly black producers, songwriters, and artists on it. Do you really think Baby singing Justin at the time would’ve really had a song with R. Kelly? Then people forget the rebellion era doesn’t last long. When being in the rebellion era stops being productive and profitable and starts being counterproductive, there was like an automatic exit route for him. He goes to rehab and starts diving into religion, but those people you saw him with are no longer there.”

“Because they were bad influences on him,” Billie debates. “Why would he keep people who were supporting his bad habits around after getting help?”

“And I knew you were going to say that,” Siren rolled her eyes. “Okay, take out the bad people, why did the clothes, the jewelry, how he even fucking walks and talk, go back to the old Justin? Because it was all part of the rebellion era, which is white artists using the black community as the place to rebel unapologetically until the wave is over. Purpose comes out, different sound, no more rap or R&B influences except for like three songs. It sounds like the album that should’ve came out after Believe if Journals didn’t exist.”

“That’s so true about the placement of the Purpose album,” Zoe chimes in.

“And let’s be for real for a second, the only time we ever see a glimpse of the rebellion era Justin is when he’s on a track or in a video with a black artist. Like, did you not see him performing ‘Private Landing’ with Don Toliver? When has Justin ever gone on stage and shared a blunt with a white artist. He might've got drunk but never smoked on stage?”

“Wow,” Billie was in a way mind-blown because she never realized this from the standpoint of a Caucasian person. “So wait, do I do that? Because I remember back then you were like, ‘calm down.’”

“Yes and no,” Siren shrugged her shoulders. “When we were like sixteen, you had your moments of black cosplaying with the accent and how you acted around some of our friends, specifically those who are rappers. But for the most part, you are just influenced by black culture. But really, everything now is just you seeing what I do and wanting to do it too, but that’s just because you are clingy to me.”

“So you’re saying I copy you!?” Billie exclaims with a goofy look on her face.

“Yes,” Everyone in the room answers.

“What! No, I don’t!”

“For so long, I said I’m going to get fangs, and you’re like, ‘eww, don’t do that, you’re not a fucking vampire.’ I get my upper canines composited to fangs, and next thing I know, it’s all Billie wants. You even had a magazine cover shoot with fangs in, and not to mention the same jewels I had for Coachella weekend.”

“Okay, so what?” Billie playfully pouts, waving her wife off. “I’m not copying, I’m just inspired by my wife.”

“But I also feel like you developed this pressure due to social media to act and look a certain way in order to fit into my aesthetic. So people would look at us and automatically know we are together.”

“N—”

“And before you deny it, you literally admitted it to me when we were shopping and just kept asking, ‘oh, what am I getting?’ so you would know what to get so we wouldn’t get comments about our couple appearances like Justin and Hailey.”

“Anyways, talk about the TikTok that had you cackling like a coyote all FUCKING night, keeping me up,” Billie says.

“Okay, so last night Zoey101 over here sent me a text asking to see my going-to-the-club heels,” Siren points to her only female best friend, who was next to her, turning red because she knew where this was going. “So I got up out of my COMFY spot and showed her my heels. I sent the picture, and in return, she sent me the TikTok.”

“Okay, so there this lady in a green dress talking about how women aren’t wearing heels to the club and then she shows her outfit?” Zoe explains the TikTok.

“Zoey101 is being nice,” Siren shook her head. “First, the lady messed up when she said she didn’t look her age, which she very much did. And there’s nothing wrong with that, but it’s like, why lie when you and I both know you look 34?”

“Oh my God!” Billie covered her mouth.

“So she went on this rant about how the new generation is ruining club culture by not wearing heels. Which I agree with, but wearing heels isn’t accessible to everyone because you see women having to run for safety and you can’t really do that in heels.”

“I didn’t see a problem with the TikTok, and when I went into the comments, I was so confused. So I texted Siren, and I automatically understood that lady was not the right messenger for that message,” Zoe busted out in laughter.

“I was thinking the lady was going to pop out with something I have in my closet, and she didn’t.”

“Can we see the TikTok?” Billie asked, wanting background information. Taking her phone out of her pocket, Siren AirPlayed the TikTok on the screen in front of them. “Oh, babes,” Billie winced in secondhand embarrassment. “Aging is beautiful; be proud that you are 34.”

“Okay, now here’s the heel reveal,” Zoe points out. All the women start laughing hysterically.

“Billie,” Siren turns to her wife and sees her trying so hard to hold in her laughter. “Billie, just let it out.”

“N-n-no,” she shakes her head, covering her mouth. “Okay, baby, sho-show me your h-heels.”

“Here,” Siren shows her a picture.

“Ahhhh,” Billie finally releases her laughter and doubles over, holding her stomach. “Ha haha. Nooooo!”

“Right message, wrong messenger,” Claudia shakes her head, wiping her tears.

“I feel so mean for laughing and showing it to the meanest person I know,” Zoe says, waving her hand to cool herself down.

“You shouldn’t feel bad for laughing; she should feel bad for lying,” Siren shrugs her shoulders. “But anyway, let’s move on so Billie can stop hyperventilating next to me. Once upon a time, Billie used to be jealous of me and Zoey101.” This causes the dyed brunette to stop and glare.

“Why are we bringing that up?” Billie rolls her eyes. “I was five and didn’t know any better.”

“I have to tell the story to explain how Zoey101 and I went from enemies to best friends.”

“Is this the part where you do a flashback?” Zoe asks, taking a sip from her Stanley cup.

“We couldn’t find a good actress who shared the same energy as you,” Rodrick speaks up for the first time in the video.

“Poo,” Zoe pouts.

“Don’t worry, we’re still holding auditions,” Siren pinches her best friend’s thigh, which is their thing.

“Wait, you guys didn’t like each other?” Claudia points between the two girls who are silently having a pinch war.

“No, because Siren was such a mean girl growing up,” Zoe answers. “And not like bully-mean, I’m talking ‘I want nothing to do with you’ mean.”

“And Zoey101 was too pink and bubbly… Like, I already have to deal with a bubbly Billie, now her. Young me couldn’t handle it.”

“It was to the point where if I said something to her, she wouldn’t even answer, just looked at me and then turned around,” Zoe explains, laughing.

“So what changed?” Claudia asks.

“Zoey101 over here is a liar,” Siren gives the last pinch to the short-haired woman. “At the age of five, I was already watching MTV, and I don’t know if anyone remembers, but MTV had the tester season of 16 and Pregnant before the actual 16 and Pregnant series came in 2009. Billie forced me to come over to her house for a sleepover with her and Zoey101, and later on, Billie was knocked out, and we were still up. I turned on MTV and started watching the show, and Zoey101 was like, ‘Oh, I love this show too.’”

“Mind you, I had never watched it before and wasn’t even allowed to watch anything besides PBS Kids,” Zoe laughs. “But after I think five episodes, I got obsessed, and we started binge-watching.”

“When I saw that she actually liked it, I thought, okay, she actually isn’t this pink and bubbly person because what other five-year-old would watch this show and not be confused and scared, and Zoey101 over here was just getting mad.”

“So that turned us into best friends who just had to have scheduled days where we watched the show, and then we grew up watching Teen Mom.”

“So why was Billie jealous?”

“Because they excluded me from their secret hangouts. I didn’t even know that’s what they were doing until I was 14, so that’s nine years of having to deal with whispering, secret binge-watching nights, and gossip about certain people,” Billie tries to defend herself.

“We didn’t tell Billie because she’s a snitch,” Siren deadpans.

“No, I’m not!” Billie exclaims.

“Yes, you are.”

“It’s not like you try to… but you are,” Zoe agrees with Siren. “You just get so happy to have a secret that you end up telling it.”

“I am good at keeping secrets!” she boasts. "I'm keeping one right now!"

“So you admit you have a secret right now?” Claudia raises an eyebrow.

“Yes!” The answer automatically flies out of her mouth. “W-wait, no! I don’t have a secret,” Billie shakes her head with wide eyes.

“So what’s the secret?” A smile widens on Zoe’s face.

“I-I don’t have a secret,” Billie softly denies, trying to cover up she almost let something slip.

“Yes, you do. Tell us,” Claudia smirks. “Siren, what’s her secret?” She turns to the snow-white-haired woman.

“I didn’t know Billie had a secret,” the brown-skinned girl shrugs her shoulders.

“Mhmm,” Zoe looks at the couple suspiciously. “Billie, you tell Siren everything, even things you should just keep to yourself. So what’s the secret?”

“I don’t have a secret,” Billie shakes her head, glancing at her wife.

“Right now, Zoey101 and I are binge-watching TLC’s Unexpected, which is basically 16 and Pregnant but with generational curses, and we hate almost all the mothers,” Siren swiftly changes the subject.

“Oh my God, yes!” Zoe’s mind shifts to the duo’s new show obsession. “So basically, everyone on the show fell victim to teen pregnancy… well, not victim, but you know what I mean. It’s 2-3 generations of teen pregnancy. Anyway, the mothers that were teen moms themselves think they’re better than their daughters. But there’s this specific mom we do not like at all.”

“Shannon,” Siren fills in the blank. “She basically makes everything about herself in any situation when it’s about Makayla.”

“So her background is she lost her boyfriend at the time, turned into a drug addict, and gave Makayla and her son to her parents to raise. She’s back in Makayla’s life and claims she wants to help and parent Makayla as she’s now a teen mom. But mind you, everything that should’ve been about Makayla, she made it about her with her selfish ways… Let me not even start,” Zoe shakes her head, feeling her blood pressure rise just thinking about it.

“In Season 1, Makayla wanted a baby shower, so everyone was on board to do that for her. And it basically turned into Shannon wanting to share the baby shower.”

“She wanted to share a baby shower with her teen daughter who’s pregnant?” Billie squints in confusion.

“Yes,” Zoe and Siren affirm.

“Anyway, she and Shelly, the baby daddy’s mom, get into it because throughout their kids’ relationship, Shelly never met Shannon before, and the first time they met was at prom pictures. Shelly’s point was that you shouldn’t want to share a baby shower with your daughter but instead help organize it. Shannon’s point was no one asked her to help with anything and that she didn’t want to step on her parents’ toes, who actually raised Makayla. And Shelly’s like, no one should have to ask you to help with your daughter’s baby shower.”

“That’s logical,” Billie nods, agreeing with Shelly’s point of view.

“I’m invested in this now,” Rodrick comments, causing all the women to look at him with humorous expressions due to his facial expression showing deep interest in what was being said. “I want to watch with you guys.”

“Me too,” Claudia raises her hand.

“Same,” Billie nods.

“Okay, I guess we can start from Season 1 again because we aren’t explaining jack shit to y’all,” Siren shakes her head.

“Plus, it’s Rotel night,” Zoe smiles.

“Y’all even have themed food nights?” Billie looks at the two bewildered. “Where the fuck do I be?”

“In your room,” the two answer.

“Really, Zoey101 and I are the only ones in the house for real,” Siren shrugs her shoulders. “You’re in your room, and Rodrick is simping for someone out of his league at fancy restaurant.”

“Sometimes Finneas joins us and Dre when he’s not touring,” Zoe adds.

“What else do you guys do?” Billie is now curious.

“Well, at 7, we take Shark and T’Challa on a walk and chat with some of the neighbors,” Zoe adds.

“Mrs. Tinka is the one who’s been baking us those pumpkin muffins,” Siren points to the bakery display case showcasing the neutral orange-colored muffins.

“And this is why I’m jealous,” Billie points to the two.

“Well, stop being in your room all the time,” Siren remarks. “Claudia, close us out.”

“And with that, here’s the recap. Billie is not black cosplaying; she’s just influenced, but the same cannot be said about Justin Bieber in the past. When it comes to the club, ladies, please wear those expensive heels and not the granny’s 2000s. It was the right message, just the wrong messenger, but we appreciate her for trying. In terms of everyone’s favorite lesbian couple, is Zoe and Siren dating behind Billie’s back? The world may never know. Also, if you need a new show to watch, take a look at TLC’s Unexpected; it’s got Zoe and Siren hooked… and Rodrick… and me, to be honest. And that is it for this video’s recap.”

“I’m Billie.”

“I’m Siren.”

“And you’re watching ‘Whatever the Fuck This Is’ Podcast.”

[satancopilotsmytardis]

hello hello!

Omg I just saw that there is a slot open for the kissing prompts and I was reading the SpiderShiggy fic again and,,, May I ask "lifiting your lover up" with ShigaDabi? The way you write Dabi all flurstered by Shiggy's strength is so good hsduaidfhuisdaf

As always your fics are amazing and I hope you have an amazing day <3

Prompt: Lifting Your Lover Up

Normal day at base. Dabi got in well past three in the morning from running his jobs, went to bed, woke up somewhere around noon, shoved whatever he could find downstairs into his mouth and gone to debrief with Duster. Nothing strange. All perfectly average and normal. Except the fact that Shigaraki hadn't been creeping in the bar working, sulking, or playing video games. So Dabi had knocked on his door instead. No answer, opened it just enough to peek inside and there was a stunning lack of mop-headed boss. Okay, so that was weird. He'd tracked down Kurogiri then. 

"Hey mist man, where's Duster?" 

And 'Giri had looked up from whatever he was reading. "I believe Tomura Shigaraki is down in the basement training." 

He'd raised a brow at that, but shrugged and went towards the basement stairs. Never seen Duster train before. How much training does a person who kills with a touch really need? Gone downstairs to give his report so he could do something else with the rest of his day. 

Had come down the stairs a while ago, he thinks. Can't really be sure because he's just been staring for a while. Probably shouldn't be. But Duster is training. Knew about the gym in the basement, assumed that it was more for their benefit, has never seen Shigaraki down here before. Has never seen Shigaraki shirtless before. Absolutely did not know that the pale skin beneath his long-sleeved shirts makes way for lean but well-defined muscle. Knew he was fast but didn't know he was strong. Has been watching him spar against Twice's doubles, easily as acrobatic as Compress and having absolutely no trouble destroying the clones of them as Twice produces them. Is still staring, his temperature having crept up a little higher, when Shigaraki and Twice call it for the day. Shig is sweating, but doesn't look tired, pushes his hair back and his eyes are bright and his lips twisted into a smile as he talks to Jin. Takes them both a second to notice him. 

"Yo, Dabi! Who invited him?" 

Shigaraki looks immediately more attentive, knows that he's come for a debrief. "Give me a second, I'll meet you upstairs," Duster tells him. 

"Yeah, sure, whatever." Really glad the attitude is a conditioned response at this point because his mouth is embarrassingly fucking dry as Shig rolls his shoulders and Dabi sees every muscle in his back fucking move. Holy shit. Yeah, quickly turns his ass around and goes back upstairs. Would absolutely not be able to explain himself if he starts smoking. 

Barely able to focus on the debriefing even when Shig meets him in the bar a few minutes later dressed normally. Can't stop thinking about the muscles hidden under his shirt. Is kind of wondering about what ones and what else might be hiding under his jeans too. 

///

It gets worse from there. Dabi manages to put the knowledge that Duster is secretly kind of ripped, and is absolutely hiding that behind his nerdy gamer schtick, away deep in the recesses of his mind. Absolutely not going to let himself be attracted to the creep. No fucking way. It was just a surprise and it really shouldn't have even been. Duster is obviously a close-combat fighter who's been training to be the next biggest supervillain in Japan for at least a decade. No fucking duh should he have at least some physical prowess to back that up. It was stupid of him to not have been expecting it. He moves on. 

Only he doesn't because knowing Shigaraki is strong and can fight is one thing. Seeing him using that strength is another entirely. 

Happens after a good job. Came back flushed with stolen tech that they're going to have reoutfitted into gear for them to use as they move forward. No one got hurt, they didn't even get spotted, and the take was fantastic. It is a rare moment when they're all in good moods and looking to celebrate. He's even in a good enough mood to stick around and they all have more than a couple of drinks. Getting late and deep enough into their cups that the others are dropping like flies. He's still up, would have to be drinking much, much faster to get the alcohol to build up enough in his system to mess him up before his quirk burns it off, Duster too because he drinks but never very much. Is pretty sure that's because of his own quirk. Really, really would not want to see someone with a quirk like his lose control of his higher faculties. Late enough and enough of the League passed out on the couches and floor. Not really enough room for that and their cohorts are in what's going to be a very uncomfortable tangle of hungover limbs in the morning. 

Not really expecting Shig to go over and very carefully extract Toga from that mess of limbs, but it makes sense, the two of them are the only ones living with Duster and Kurogiri here at the moment. She has a bed. He's expecting Shig to coax her somewhat awake to make her way upstairs, but he bends down and she blinks blearily at him and puts out her arms like a toddler. Dabi snorts and Duster rolls his eyes. But then Dabi is nearly choking on his fucking tongue because Shigaraki bends down low enough for her to loop her arms around his neck, hooks one under her legs and the other around her back, and lifts her off of the couch like she weighs nothing at all. Carries her towards the stairs and mutters to him, 

"Come on," on his way up. Dabi trails after him, mind fucking gone at that easy show of strength. Duster moves to the side of the hall when they get to the top of the stairs and he finally gets with the fucking program. Opens her door so Shig can bring her inside, follows him in and turns down her sheets. Shig pokes at her as he sets her down, "At least take off your shoes." 

Toga manages to kick them off and then flops back down onto her bed. Dabi throws the blanket back over her, "On your side, brat, don't need you drowning in your puke." 

She flicks him off and rolls over to face Duster, reaching out to catch his wrist. He pauses and she gestures for him to lean down. Visibly amused, Shigaraki leans down and lets Toga whisper something into his ear, hand covering her mouth so Dabi can't even try to read her lips. Duster looks more amused, eyes flicking up to look at him, and then murmurs back, "Is that so?" 

"Mmhmm," Toga agrees. 

"Interesting, you'll have to tell me more about that when you're sober." 

"Okay Tomu, night night." 

"Goodnight." 

"Thanks for tuckin' me in 'abi," 

"Yeah whatever, go to sleep, brat." 

They leave her room, shutting the door behind them, but Dabi's pretty sure she's out before they're in the hall. Waits half a second before his curiosity gets the better of him. 

"What'd she say?" 

Not expecting Duster to consider him for a long moment, eyes raking over him assessingly. "She's drunk. I'll talk about it with her in the morning, see if she actually knew what she was saying and meant it." Doesn't answer his question, "And then, if it's still relevant, we can talk about it."  

Raises a brow, "Okay, you cryptic motherfucker, night." Grateful to be able to go to his room and away from the other man. Didn't realize how fucking hot the alcohol and Shigaraki's easy show of strength had crept his temperature. 

///

Out in the field with Duster, Compress, and Toga. Supposed to be some spy shit, he's only there in case things get heavy. 

Things get fucking heavy.

Really not expecting to be up against Best Jeanist at the tail-end of the job and he's really overworking his quirk to keep his fibers far, far away from himself and the others as they run across rooftops to their extraction point. It's a nightmare, but they're handling it. It's going to be fine. Two more buildings and he can see Kurogiri's portal is already open and waiting for them. His bad luck that he misses one of the fibers as he jumps to the second to last building. It curls around his leg and he whips around and burns it off before it can restrain him or yank him in, but he loses his balance, drops onto the roof and rolls his ankle hard enough that he's pretty sure he popped some staples and it hurts enough to have him gritting his teeth. Fuck. Tries to keep pushing anyway, one more jump. Just one more. 

Knows that he wasn't able to push hard enough halfway through the arc and his stomach starts to drop. Think fast. Not going to be a splatter on pavement or arrested this early into the game. Oh this is going to fucking suck. Half twists and sends a massive burst of flame towards the wall of fibers that are coming after them. Big enough, hot enough, that he goes rocketing forward the last meter towards the other roof and the seams around his wrists are aching and smoking. Fuck. Lands hard, barely on the edge of the building and stumbles, starts to lose his balance. 

Shigaraki's hand locks around his wrist, grip bruising and pinky raised. Before Dabi can react he's pulled in, can't even blink before he's yelping, suddenly being lifted, his arms frantically grabbing hold of the other man so he doesn't lose his balance again as Shigaraki picks him up bridal style and darts the last few feet through the portal which closes immediately after them. And then he, Compress, Toga, and Duster are standing in the bar with Kurogiri. Well, they're standing. Dabi is being fucking held up by his boss and desperately trying not to turn bright fucking red. 

"You alright?" 

"Uh, yeah, might've fucked up my ankle a little but I've had worse. Thanks for the save." His voice is a little thinner than it should be. "You can put me down." 

And Duster does, but he carries him over to the couch first as Compress grabs the first-aid kit. Shig switches places with the other man when he comes back over and Toga catches Shigaraki's wrist again and pulls him down, covering her mouth again as she whispers to him. Her eyes aren't covered though and they are shining with her mirth. Duster's brows pull together slightly as he gives her that same bemused smile before responding, 

"You're sure?" 

"Yes!" 

"Interesting," never heard Shigaraki's voice purr like that. Between that sound, being able to lift him, and overusing his quirk, he's having a hard time lowering the temperature of his skin. Has to if Compress is gonna help him wrap his ankle. Shifts his focus to that instead. 

///

Actually fucked up his ankle more than a little. Ends up needing a crutch for a little while which is so fucking annoying, but at least none of them got fucking arrested. He'll put up with this bullshit on that merit alone. However, he does notice Shigaraki watching him a lot out of the corner of his eye. Absolutely going to set him on fire if he thinks he's a liability now even though he fucking took on the number four hero and managed to limp away with only a sprained ankle. Been working on planning the next job downstairs in the bar with Duster when it gets late enough that going to bed before sunrise sounds like a good idea. Reaches for his crutch without paying attention and knocks it over. 

"Fucking," this sucks, realizes it's fallen too far away and he's gonna have to use the couch to stand up before he grabs it. Sees Duster move closer. Well at least he's saving him some dignity by just helping him without him having to ask--

"Put your arms around my neck," 

"Wha--!" Dabi makes an extremely undignified squeaking sound, scrambling to grab onto Duster as he leans down and hooks his deadly hands under his thighs, just barely below his ass and lifts him. Hooks his legs around his hips too and Dabi's face must be bright fucking red beneath his scars as he clings onto Duster like a fucking koala, faces barely three inches apart. "What the fuck, Shigaraki, put me down!" 

"In a minute." And his voice is low, eyes half-lidded and smug. "Toga has been telling me that your blood smells hot every time you see me doing something like this." Fucking, little brat and her snitch nose. Going to burn it off her face. "You definitely feel hot but you always feel hot." Leans in a little closer, close enough their noses brush and Dabi makes another very undignified sound, temperature spiking another few degrees in spite of himself. Duster's smug smile widens. "Can I kiss you?" 

Really fucking dumb and embarrassing that as soon as the words are out of the other man's mouth his hands are shifting so that he can tangle them into Shigaraki's mop of thick pale hair and is smashing their lips together. Can't help it. His wiry, bratty boss is fucking holding up his weight, doesn't even seem bothered by it. That's so fucking hot he might be on the way to boiling his brain again. Definitely feels like it when the hands around the back of his legs tighten as Shigaraki kisses him back, just as hard and hungry. All teeth and tongues, heat and promise. There's definitely a bit of smoke on his breath when they part for air. Too soon, Dabi is absolutely about to lean back in when Duster murmurs against his lips, 

"I can put you down, Dabi. Or I can hold you against a wall and fuck you stupid."

Makes a very undignified sound at that, but Dabi is more than willing to give up any scrap of dignity he's ever clung to if he gets that in the next thirty seconds, so he just drags Shigaraki back in for another rough kiss. Already knows that the boss is strong, time to put his stamina to the test too. 

Thanks for submitting!

[anotherisodope]

Just found out that we dodged a huge bullet

You ever have a friend who just completely derails your life with their drama every time you run into, talk to or even hear about them?

Got one like that. We’ve been trying to help him for months in a Movie of the Week level family drama situation that has, along with some other stuff, totally eaten my life. And now, things have gone from bad to cartoonishly awful, in one night.

(Now edited for clarity. I shouldn’t write when I’m that pissed off, sorry!)

The Cast

Me: Gold medalist in competitive napping

My man: Has lived with me almost two decades, there’s rings involved, you get the idea

Gonk: A formerly close friend of ours who is making himself less close with every damn day that goes by as he slowly transitions from a cinnamon roll to an ego-burdened military douche. Calling him Gonk because he increasingly, stubbornly, refuses to listen to even basic common sense if it gets in the way of what he wants to do

GFF: Gonk’s friend who has been putting him up until Gonk starts Basic Training in another state

Evil Sister: Gonk’s sister, a raging assclown whom I sometimes call the Wicked Bitch of the East--with good reason

Our friend Gonk is the sort who never, ever, EVER contacts us unless he needs something, and he’s caused all kinds of disruption, but we’ve stayed loyal as hell and supported him. I was even going to move this guy into my house before he torpedoed that plan with a set of Bad Life Decisions. (Long story I’ll cover later).

Bit of backstory. Gonk has a very bad relationship with his sister, who is a far, far bigger asshole than he’s ever dreamed of being. Evil Sister was left the house and their parents’ whole estate after their mom died (so our friend wouldn’t lose his disability benefits), and promised to “look after” Gonk to his mom’s face. Once Mom died, Evil Sister promptly started proceedings for kicking Gonk out, and turned abusive in the meantime.

One thing she’s done is weaponize the police against Gonk every time she gets mad at him, meaning she calls them on him and tries to get him imprisoned over issues he can’t even be arrested for. Argument? Call the cops. He swore while playing video games? Cops. He had a meltdown from her verbal abuse and started yelling and crying? Cops. I’m actually surprised they still come out at this point.

We’ve explained to Gonk, as have the police, that what Evil Sister is doing is a form of abuse, isn’t appropriate use of law enforcement, and wastes police time and resources as well. Gonk’s seen it, he’s felt it, he’s been told multiple times: weaponizing the police so you can hurt someone you’re mad at (especially over petty shit) is really, really wrong.

So Gonk has been staying with another friend, GFF, for a few weeks before he starts Basic Training (a whole other awful story), basically to get away from the Wicked Bitch of the East. It was a huge act of generosity on GFF’s part, and a relief for Gonk, us, and everyone who cares about Gonk. At least...until yesterday.

Last night, everything blew up very suddenly. GFF kicked Gonk out and threatened to harm him if he came back. Why?

Because Gonk decided to call the cops on poor GFF, in GFF’s own home, IN AN ARGUMENT OVER WHO OWNED A FUCKING PACK OF CIGARETTES.

That’s right. Gonk, the guy who had the police inappropriately called on him over small shit multiple times, and is in the best possible position to know how wrong that is...turned around and did it to someone else. Someone he was depending on for shelter.

The cops kicked in the door, GFF’s dog escaped and vanished, and needless to say GFF is absolutely furious. He wants nothing further to do with Gonk and will probably kick his ass, or worse, if that hypocritical dumbass tries to come back. In fact, he’s already threatened to do so.

Gonk has nothing to say for himself. He is back with Evil Sister now, for the moment. I’m just praying he doesn’t show up on our doorstep again, because this has destroyed the last of our trust in him--which thanks to other crap was already badly damaged.

I am SO goddamned glad now that Gonk didn’t end up living with us. I don’t want anyone in my life who calls the cops on innocent people he’s supposed to care about, over petty shit. Of all people, Gonk should know better. But he got big mad and tossed friendship, common sense and decency out the window over an under $20 purchase instead. Nothing GFF did for him mattered to Gonk--not even opening up his home.

That could easily have been us. And I don’t want to give Gonk the chance to make it be us. Before now, I was worried about his safety, but this is the last straw. Now I just want him to leave town for his training and never come back.

[theoldaeroplane]

jouwnaling

had a really, really nice day yesterday, was just in a lovely mood all day. I think it may have been related to the fact I did not get high the night before, so I'm going to try to test that theory and dial my usage down. I really enjoy weed and think it has a lot of benefits, especially for neurodivergent folk, but I'm recognizing that I used it as a way to cope with my situations last year. I'd like to wean myself off it a bit and be more present now that my life is starting to not suck. Still gonna keep it around for fun and really bad ruminating though. Weed makes it so much easier for me to hang out with people in person for a long time, and to go into overstimulating spaces.

Been having tons of fun rotating my version of Link in my brain for Antebellum (the WIP name of my LoZ fic). He has so many problems. He is a dumb motherfucker. I'm also consciously putting a lot of things I've been struggling with into this story, both to process them for myself and to give the fic, you know, that extra layer of authenticity, relatability? It's nice, I'm excited to be excited again. I'm gonna fuck up that elf boy so bad.

Had my second yoga class last night, it was nice. I'm not sure if I can afford to keep going but I'm going to try to. In a way it feels silly to pay for something I could technically do for free at home with a YouTube video, but I think the atmosphere makes a significant enough difference to be worth paying for.

Finally made a vet appointment for the dog. She needs her shots and I can't put off the fact she needs dental surgery any longer.

I really, really need to reopen commissions, but I still feel burned out on art. I'm trying to make some adoptables and YCHs as a middle ground. Haven't had a lot of success there yet. That said, I've been putting a lot of my energy into cleaning up my house and taking care of myself. The house is coming along really well, and hopefully soon I'll have it leveled out enough to make it a nicer space for my creative endeavors.

I applied for another job this week, one totally out of my field and experience: house cleaning. It's not something I'd ever considered, but I found the listing by chance and it occurred to me that a job where I just clean and listen to podcasts sounds like heaven. Especially for my autistic ass. No constant stream of customers. No dress shirts. No repeatedly explaining terms and price sheets. Just show up and clean. I'm sure such a job has its own frustrations (hard on the body, exceptionally gross houses, telling people when something is not in my job description, driving a lot), but, like. My current job---while I genuinely like a lot of the work, and I really love my boss and coworkers---the customer service aspect is killing me, the dress code brings back bad memories, and even though I'm working full time (over full time, even, I'm there 8:30-5 because I take a thirty minute lunch break) I'm not making enough to fully support myself. I keep getting sent home early because there's nothing for me to do, and my boss is only a regional manager and has been very forthcoming with the fact I am already at the absolute highest end of the payscale for my position without taking on more responsibilities.

The fact that I can be working full time and still have to rely on a side hustle, and even THEN can't put anything aside for savings, is awful. I can't do more hours, I can't take on more responsibilities, and I can't get a second job. Any of those things would seriously compromise my mental health and I have to take care of myself. I've always dreaded it when I'm asked to take on more responsibilities at my jobs. I don't want advancement, I don't want to manage anyone (I can barely manage myself!), I don't give a shit what my title is. I want to do my work really well, get paid, and go home.

And the cleaning job, at the absolute lowest end, still pays about 5k more per year than my current position.

So, currently, yeah, housecleaning sounds like a dream job. Show up. Clean. Leave. Repeat. The company in question also has glowing employee reviews on Glassdoor, with the worst things being "could pay better" and "sometimes there's favoritism." I don't have any qualms about """being a maid""" on like a social level or whatever. I like the idea that I would be making a tangible difference for individuals, instead of printing out hundreds of advertising mailers that are going to go directly into the trash. I finding cleaning very satisfying. I like the idea of not sitting around bored because there's no customers and nothing to do and I'm not allowed to have my phone out, and then getting sent home early so I miss out on half my pay for that day. And so much less masking! My god! It sounds like paradise!

The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, but sometimes that's because it really is better grass.

So. Hoping to hear back about that soon. I filled out a questionnaire thing for them yesterday that seemed like it was basically checking to see if I was a narcissistic sociopath or not. I have a weekend without any Special Events happening for the first time in like a month, just my tabletop games and my volunteer work. My clothes and bedding are all washed, I got most of the dog piss smell out of the carpet from when I was too exhausted to take her out often enough, and I cut my hair. I have a writing project again. I've been making new friends and reconnecting with old ones. I adore going out to the barn every saturday. My therapist says I'm doing really, really well. Everything's coming up Corgi, for now. Fingers crossed :)

[coll2mitts]

#15 A Star is Born (1954)

When life unfortunately imitates art.

A Star is Born is a tale of addiction and fame that has four film adaptations that have nothing to do with the fact it's clear Oscar bait (although Judy did famously lose this one to Grace Kelly).  Did you guys know the entertainment industry changes and exploits people?  I surely didn't realize this until now, and that's why the academy has consistently rewarded movies that talk about how weird Hollywood is.  Y'know.  Cause there's so few of them.

I'm being glib, as this movie is probably one of the more sympathetic views of the big studio system, for all its flaws.  It focuses on Esther Blodgett, a singer in a touring band, and how her encounter and subsequent relationship with big-star actor Norman Maine changed her career, and thus her life.  This film is 3 hours long (it used to be both shorter and longer, for reasons explained later), and it *feels* that long.  For every moment of levity there are 30 minutes of pain, and while this feels tedious sometimes, it does a great job of illustrating the highs and lows of caring for someone struggling with addiction.  They burn so brightly in those small moments when everything is spectacular that it's almost worth slogging through the periods of grim instability that does nothing but foreshadow a bleak future.

For those of you unfamiliar with the story I will give a rundown below.  If you're curious how this 1954 version differs from the other three films, Be Kind Rewind has an excellent video that you should watch after reading this.  Seriously though, check out her channel, it's incredibly informative.

Esther Blodgett (Judy Garland) and the Glenn Williams Orchestra, lead by her buddy Danny McGuire (the adorable Tommy Noonan, who will forever be Gus in my eyes) have booked a gig during a benefit concert.  Norman Maine, a famous Hollywood actor, is supposed to perform as well, but he shows up drunk as a skunk and is having much more fun harassing the cast and crew than he is preparing to go on stage.  While his PR agent Matt Libby has correctly identified Norman is in no position to be in front of people, he tries to distract him by sending him to the dressing rooms to be interviewed.  This works for about 5 minutes until he hulks out and joins Esther and the gang on stage just for funsies.

In the sprit of 'fuck it, we'll do it live', Esther succeeds in getting Norman involved with the act as comedic relief, he gets the positive attention he craves from the audience, and everyone laughs like this isn't a big disaster played out in public.

Norman tries to thank Esther for saving him from looking even more like an ass by trying to get her to go to a second location with him.  Even though Esther finds this strangely sweet, Danny wisely helps her escape to their next gig and Libby takes Norman home to sleep it off.  That would be the end of it if Norman didn't arise from the grave like a vampire at 2:30am to hunt down Esther like she's his prey.  He finds her at a club on Sunset where her and her friends are rehearsing, and oh my god, it's so glorious.

I love Judy's voice; I get goosebumps every time I hear her.  She's such a powerhouse.

Also, FUN FACT: The composer of this song, Harold Arlen, scored Gay Purr-ee, so if you also think "The Man That Got Away" bares a striking resemblance to "Paris is a Lonely Town", there's a legitimate reason for that.

A now-sober Norman bombards Esther with metaphors about her excellence and gradually isolates her from the group by physically dragging her around.  Danny tries to separate them, but Esther leaves with Norman all the same to go back to her place and discuss her career goals.  When she reveals she wants to get a #1 record on Hit Parade, Norman retorts that Esther's dream is not big enough and she's wasting her time paling around with undignified gig musicians.  Esther is only slightly insulted by Norman's blatant disregard of the work she's already put in to get where she is, but buys into his promise to snag her a screen test.  Esther then breaks Danny's heart by quitting the band and asking them to move on to San Francisco without her.  Danny tries to change her mind by suggesting she might not want to trust a flake (no matter how charming he is), but Esther believes Norman sees potential in her nobody else has, igniting her desire to aim higher.

Of course Norman gets loaded after leaving Esther's house and his late night call to the head of the studio, Oliver Niles, is completely blown off as Norman trying to impress some broad he likes.  Instead, the studio ships Norman out to work on his next picture, completely abandoning Esther for 5-6 weeks.  Esther, never hearing back from Norman, moves into a cheaper place and gets a job as a roller skating waitress in an attempt to make ends meet while she attends auditions.  She manages to book a VO gig singing in a shampoo commercial, which helps Norman locate her upon his return because he recognizes her distinct voice on the television.  After tracking Esther down at the boarding house she's slumming in, Norman finally follows through with his promise and lands her a screen test.

This montage of Esther and Norman separating and reuniting is particularly bizarre as it is presented as pages in Esther's scrapbook - still sepia-tinted images with the character's dialogue dubbed over it.  It didn't feel intentional, as some of the scenes are live action, like a car or a bus pulling away from a building, or a shot of a woman's hand dipping into shampoo.  I initially assumed this artistic decision was to cut down the film's length, but the dialogue was still there, so it wasn't succeeding if that were the goal.  I later discovered the version of the film I was watching was the "restored" director's version, as the original wide-release had 30 minutes removed by order of the studio in an effort to cut down its considerable runtime.  Unfortunately, when Ron Haver, the film curator at the L.A. County Museum of Art, attempted to find the lost footage for the film's 1983 re-release, he discovered these scenes were truly lost to time (literally, as they could not find the original film reels).  Their "remedy" included displaying production stills with VO from the audio tapes they were able to locate.  Honestly, I think all of this particular section could have stayed on the cutting room floor, as it's a 30-minute detour that ends with Norman getting Esther the screen test, anyway.  I'm assuming these scenes were included as a way to show Norman struggling to help Esther despite his alcoholism, and Esther's new commitment to become famous.  We get those impressions through their initial interactions, so this not-so-little side-quest truly feels redundant. Later lost scenes, however, such as (spoiler alert) Norman's marriage proposal to Vicki, are pretty baffling omissions. I don't think the cuts robbed Judy of her Oscar win like Lorna Luft does, but it does fuck up the movie's continuity.

Upon Esther's first visit to the studio, the makeup department completely change her look after going into great detail about her flaws.  Norman hates the outcome and redoes her makeup to restore Esther's natural beauty.  Although Esther is nervous, she nails the audition and starts to book small parts, like those that require putting on a full face of makeup only to wave out the window of a train.  They even yell at her when they see her face, which is as blatant of a metaphor for being a woman in showbusiness if I ever saw one.  After the studio changes Esther's name to Vicki Lester, Norman convinces Oliver to cast Vicki as the lead in a new picture after their previous one bailed.  Upon release, the film becomes a wild success, and Vicki Lester's star quickly rises.

Y'know, I really want to take a tally of the percentage of the musicals on this list that feature their white stars in blackface or parody other racial stereotypes, cause it's more than I thought it would be.  Judy's daughter Lorna has mentioned Judy's foray into impersonating other races was "of its time", but I'm finding it incredibly exhausting and lazy that blackface is consistently used as shorthand for being poor or othered.

While the first half of this movie isn't necessarily incredibly upbeat, the rest of it goes downhill from here.  While Norman's newly released movie is getting terrible reviews, everyone is now obsessed with Vicki.  Feeling as though he's done what he could to introduce Esther to the world, Norman tries to leave her, citing he's an too-old disaster that will only drag her down.  Esther responds to this by confessing her love to him, and instead of Norman bailing, they quickly get engaged in the creepiest eavesdropping-est way on the back of the promise that Norman will quit drinking.

The pair first run to the head of the studio because apparently they need his permission to move forward with this doomed marriage.  Oliver gives his approval hoping that Vicki will be the positive influence that helps Norman stay on the straight and narrow. While Libby feels as if they're setting a trap for Vicki, he agrees to spin the story for the positive in order to give Norman some much needed good press.  Of course they exhaust any temporary good-will Libby was extending to them when the embarrassingly-named Mr. Earnest Sydney Gubbins and Esther Blodgett elope to a tiny courthouse to get married in secret.  When they reach their roadside motel honeymoon destination, Vicki hears her new song "It's a New World" on the radio as it reaches #1 on Hit Parade, implying that all of Esther's dreams have now come true.

They start their new life by purchasing an expensive house on a ocean-side cliff, only for Oliver to break the news to Norman that the studio has decided to let him go because of his inconsistent behavior.  Libby publicly plays it off like Norman is pursuing other opportunities, while in reality he's relegated to a house husband, making sandwiches, taking messages, and pensively putting golf balls.  While Norman seems generally supportive of Vicki's budding career, a delivery man calls him Mr. Lester and the bruise to Norman's ego sends him into a bender.  This starts to jeopardize Vicki's career when Norman decides to crash her Oscar acceptance speech by stumbling on stage and publicly declaring he needs a job. 

3 months later, Norman is in rehab and Vicki is on set filming her latest movie.  When Oliver comes to check on her, Vicki breaks down to one of the few people that understand her predicament, as she's both frustrated and scared by Norman's behavior.

Judy serves a heartbreaking performance during this monologue, with many speculating that this particular story hit too close to home.  Judy's life somewhat mimicked Norman's, as she was fired from MGM because of her inconsistent behavior as a result of her own addictions.  She was forced into the entertainment industry before she turned 3 years old, and even as a child was given amphetamines to keep her working and skinny. As she got older those habits became harder to break, especially when barbiturates were added to the mix to help her sleep. Most of her life had been spent earning money to provide for her parents, and then her own family, without the ability to choose if she could keep her pregnancies, or take time off after she was allowed to have Liza, in order to keep the checks rolling in for the studio. After years of constantly working with the help of prescription drugs, Judy struggled with mental health issues that the studio went through great lengths to hide, and the press was ecstatic to exploit.

Judy's husband at this time, Sid Luft, produced A Star is Born in order to cast Judy in this role and make the movie a musical.  Filming was difficult, but both Judy and James gave outstanding performances, as you feel the love between them while the heartbreak of addiction takes a toll on their marriage. Judy and Sid's relationship similarly didn't work out, as Sid confessed it was too difficult being with her.  Judy hated him toward the end of her life as custody battles kept her from her children. If you've listened to any interview with Judy or her kids, she was incredibly loving and supportive of them, valuing her family over everything else. She ended her life completely disillusioned with the same industry that lifted her up, because they were even more gleeful in knocking her down by depriving her of her own voice.

Judy is mostly remembered as a young girl belting out "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", or bounding around with Gene Kelly or Fred Astaire in romantic comedies, but this movie (specifically this scene) shows how underrated as a dramatic actress she was. The end scene of this movie between Esther and Danny legitimately scared the director, as Judy had never screamed on camera before. During Judy's eulogy, James Mason said "she could wring tears out of hearts of rock," and he's not wrong.

Upon Norman's release, he runs into Libby, who lashes out at him in frustration, leading to a physical altercation that Norman follows up with another bender.  After several days of no-contact, Oscar and Esther find him in jail on a drunk and disorderly charge after he crashes his car, and Esther begs the judge to let him come home with her so she can take care of him.  She puts Norman to bed and confides in Oliver she's quitting the business to take care of her husband and give his sobriety a fighting chance.  She has forced herself to believe that love will now be enough, and that Norman can be fixed if she can devote her time to him.  When Oliver protests because Norman's career is through, Esther reiterates she wouldn't have her career without Norman's connections and encouragement.  Unfortunately Norman overhears this conversation from the other room, and takes it upon himself to release Esther from the burden of being his wife by wading into the ocean and drowning.

As much as Esther wants to process her grief in her own time, her good friend Danny pushes her to rejoin the land of the living by attending the same benefit concert she performed at a year ago when she met Norman.  Norman was incredibly proud of the fact he discovered Vicki, and Danny posits he would be disappointed if she threw it all away because of him.  Vicki decides to show up at the shrine, and when she takes the stage to introduce herself as Mrs. Norman Maine, the crowd goes wild.  While they were dismissive of Norman and his disease while he was alive, they revere him and support Vicki after his death.

This is not a movie I would revisit often, as it emotionally takes a toll, but this is an absolute must-watch. Judy's performance proves why she's considered a legend - she's funny, flirty, hopeful, frustrated, heartbroken, and devastated, and all-the-while her voice is a goddamn masterpiece. James Mason similarly does a splendid job at portraying a charismatic and caring, but flawed and proud protagonist. I'm fairly uninterested in seeing the other versions, as I could easily be happy with this being the definitive telling of this story. Judy is absolutely everything, I don't know why anybody else would even try competing with her performance.

Thanks for reading!  If you’ve enjoyed this post, please consider helping me fund this project by donating to my ko-fi :)

[asahicore]

this will be long so....

as always let me know your thoughts otherwise i will find you and hold you at gunpoint,

you dont need to hold me at gun point (idm if you do) to tell how much i love your works. ♡

“Right, sorry.” You cleared your throat and sat up straighter. “I completely disagree with your statement, Jongseong. Just because a movie has young teenage girls as its target audience doesn’t mean it is completely insipid and has no value, like you’re insinuating. If you look at Mean Girls, for example-”

ah LOVE IT WHEN MY WOMEN ARE SO SEXY WITH THEIR WORDS LOVE IT. funny i have done this exactly, cuz i do be writing mails for my friends lol. Fun fact never watched mean girls in my life #not like other girls fr 🤭

“Oh, and Jay, I do have to side with Y/N here. There’s a surprising amount of things that can be said about that film,” your tutor admitted with an apologetic smile.

Yn 1 - jay 0

“Yes, Jongseong, that’s exactly the case. I’m sooooo obsessed with you, I took this class just to see you.”

spoiler if im not wrong she actually did ask jake bout it, and took the class in the old (ill see later on in the fic) or was it another fic.

“You see, Y/N, I also major in Visual Studies. I’m not a single honors Econ major like you. Loser.”

STOP I JUST DECIDED ON WHAT TO STUDY DONT MAKE ME CHANGE TO BUS🤢🤮BUSIN🤮🤢BUSINESS STUDENT (/j i love the capitalism kids they do know how to keep the country running i hope, lowkey wanna do econ tho...) GOIN OFF TOPIC

“H-hi, Heeseung.”

No. Fuck off. no I DISLIKED THIS MAN SM IN THIS FIC

"It’s not even just about that, Y/N. You know his reputation, he’s clearly bad news. There’s no point in liking a guy like that.”

See even jay agrees. yall might be enemies (lovers) but take his words on this pls

“Whatever. When he inevitably hurts you, though, I’ll say I told you so.”

aren't you the one that hurts her before him 👎👎👎 or was that SCENE AFTERWARDS HMMMM (future me exactly fuck you jay how could you hurt my girl like that.)

If anybody remembers this, they’re probably thinking that you were fucking awesome. Can’t you see how everyone is cheering you on in the video?”

we love a supportive friend ! pls this is so me 😭😭😭

“you literally asked Jake to tell you what courses he was taking this semester and when his tutorials were, and when you somehow managed to be enrolled in a class that’s supposed to be reserved for Visual Studies students, you emailed the tutor to make sure you’d be in the same group as Jay. I’d say that requires some effort.”

SEE I TOLD YOU. I KNEW SHE DID THIS, HAHAHAHA GIVING MIXED SIGNS BABE FRR

“Is no one gonna say it?” Sunoo asked, bewildered, looking around at your friends. “It sounds like you like him, Y/N.”

SO TRUE ITS SO ?!?!??! OBVIOUS YN GET YOUR MIND INTO IT good that you didnt put that much effort into heeseung that ass

Sieun took your hands in hers and tried to convince you with her eyes, her eyebrows furrowing slightly. “But think about it, Y/N. It’s the enemies to lovers trope!”

Agreed EXACTLY BEAUTIFUL GORGEOUS NEVER DONE BEFORE BEST TROPE.

“I’d come, but the idea of serving rich people as they give out ten thousand dollars when they could give a million and it wouldn’t even affect them in the slightest, not to mention having to do it with a smile on my face, makes my skin crawl, so no thanks,” Sieun said. She wasn’t wrong, but this was also Jay’s parents you were talking about. Not only would Jay be there, and your presence would surely piss him off, but his dad’s company was one of the top of the country and being introduced to their world, maybe even getting to know some people there, even just as a waitress, could really benefit you in the long-term. You’d never admit it to him, but you’d been dreaming of working there ever since you’d first heard of it. Nothing might come out of this, but it was worth trying.

Sounding like you love jay more than heeseung babe. I dont blame you me too <3

The two boys in front of him groaned in unison. He raised his head and added defensively, “What? I’ve barely said anything yet.”

FELT mE TOO THEU BOTH ARE SO OBSESSED WITH 3ACH OYHER PLS

Jay rolled his eyes. “No, of course not, but I’m gonna be hyper-aware of her presence and I don’t want it to distract me.” A third groan. “Plus, I don’t like the idea of her being there as a waitress. She should be with the students who talk to the guests, she deserves it more than anybody I know.”

CUTE FUCKING CUTE

“It’s 2022, Sunghoon, nobody says things like ‘man up’ anymore.”

😭😭😭😭😭

“You always say that, but how the fuck am I supposed to ask her out when she’s only ever seen me as her rival? Plus, she’s head over heels for that prick.”

Give it a chance park WE NEVER KNOW HMMMM.

oh it just hit me what happens or their fall out in a way. now im sad now im too sad to continue ill be back after a moment im back and im gonna erase memory of what happens SHHHH

He hated the idea of you having to be there as a waitress, handing out drinks and mini toasts to entitled guests who probably wouldn’t even look at you. There had to be a few strings he could pull, right?

YAYY MY JAY BOY GO SLAY GET YO GIRL OF DREAMS IG 🤣

“Wow, he does have good taste.”

WOAH WOAH GO JAY I SEE YOU BABE HEHEHENE

While they didn’t make you look like a Hunger Games Capitol citizen, when they were done with you, the reflection that looked back at you in the mirror was uncanny.

I LOVW THE REFERENCE PLUS I LEGIT THOUGHT OF THAT WHEN THEY SAID MAKE UP AND LITTLE GLAMMED UP LOL

Because you’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met and the world should know about it, was his immediate thought. But of course, he’d never say that out loud, so he opted for,

SAY YOU COWARD SAY IT. OR ELSE IM GOING RUN BEHIND YOU WITH THIS BROOM FONT MAKE ME GO ALL ASIAN MOM ON YOU JAY FUCKINH SAY IT TO YN #biggestyn&jayshipper

is it me or is it a bilingual thing to suddenly change to ur mother tongue when you're extremely excited or extremely annoyed cuz its taking a lot in me to not swtich languages right now and you wont understand shit i said😭😭

“Anyway, I’m doing the closing speech soon. I’m gonna be awesome, so look closely, yeah?” You knew he wanted to look cool, but you thought he sounded like an excited kid who was about to put on a show for his family. How cute, you thought, and immediately chased that thought away from your brain. That damn champagne must’ve been laced with something.

look at you yn finally finding who you actually like awwn <33 cutie Jay is such a cute i wanna hug him. give him a highfive or something idk honestly.

Nothing was off-limits when it came to their rivalry, and you were most definitely not an exception, not to Heeseung. He couldn’t stand seeing Jay have something he didn’t. At that moment, he made up his mind.

FUCK. OFF. HEESEUNG. I HOPE YOU TRIP AND FALL OR HIT YOUR TOE NESR YOU BED.

this is a one-time thing. Find an excuse, say we broke up or whatever. Fake dating is like, the most predictable trope ever,”

IT REALLY IS BUT I STILL LOVE IT AND I EAT IT UP EVERYTIME 🤭

"Y/N, be honest with us. Is Park Jay your sugar daddy?”

sunoo 🤝 me

big brained frr

After a moment, Sieun broke the silence: “Y/N, you’ve become a real walking rom-com. I’m so proud of you.” 

me too. can my friends be in one too its so borING I NEED SOME EXCITEMENT IN MY LIFE TOO wtf

“Y/N, that’s literally the whole concept of fake dating. You’ll think it’s only that one time, and before you know it, you’ll be married with three children, and it won’t be fake anymore,”

SO TRUE FORTUNE TELLER LOL.

“And you’ll be blowing something else soon…” Sunoo muttered, just loud enough for your table to hear.

its NOT A LIE SOOOOOO 🤭🤭

“Your whole rivalry thing is too cute, I can’t take it seriously. You won’t admit it to yourself, but you clearly like Jay a lot more than you do Heeseung,”

PLS THINK BOUT WHAT HE SAID YALL ARE SO IN LOVE ITS SO ?!?!?&#(#,#((# MAKES ME WANNA BREAK THE FORTH WALL AND PUT YOU GUYS TPGTHER AND BE LIKE THEY LIVED HAPPY AFTER THE END.

She looked at you with a knowing smile that moms loved to wear. “I do know. You’re the one who doesn’t.” You’d dismissed her with a roll of your eyes. Everybody around me’s going crazy, you thought.

see RVEN THE MOM KNOWS YN PLS TAKE THE HINT FOR FUCK SAKE IM GOING TO..... ITS SO CUTE HONESTLY TLOVE YN BEING IN DENIAL KINDA.

“Yeah, I noticed. I don’t think anything you’ve ever done or said offended me more than that one time you showed up to class wearing a ‘where the hell have you been, loca?’ t-shirt.”

STOPNDKDKD I DIDNT GET TO FINISH TWILIGHT CUZ I THOUGHT IT WAS WERIDS NGL BUT LMAOO GO ROCK THAT T-SHIRT IG.

“Just say I’m pretty and move on, Jongseong.”

OMFHSIBDKDKDKD

I thonk i missed some parts here but anyways

“but my father’s company, the one I’m in charge of now, only started being successful when I was in high school. My dad worked his way up from the ground, so he and I both know what it’s like to not be well-off. I’ve tried to not turn Jay into one of those rich kids who think they’ll rule the world just cause they have money, and… well, I hope I did a good job.”

HE REALLY IS !!! i love him !! I love mamaa and papa park sm they the best ngl <3 everyone so nice they are so nice and fun lovw jay sm ill cry sp bad odk what im even saying right now. The whole dinner scene has my heart its so really cute and wholesome.

“Fine, fine!” you said between breathless giggles. She finally relented. “I think Jay’s hot.”“Do you, now?”

I SCREAMED I WAS ON THE FLOOR I WAS DOWN BAD TOO

The fact that he was manspreading and leaning back on his hands, the top buttons of his shirt undone and his trousers stretching against his thighs, wasn’t particularly helping.

only one word and one word only hot.

“Um, I’ve got something, actually. I forgot to give it to you with the rest of the things.” He fished a small box out of his bag and got up to stand behind you. He took out the necklace and put it around your neck, asking you to hold your hair up. You complied, looking at his reflection in the mirror. His hands slightly brushed the back of your neck as he locked the necklace, and you had to keep yourself from visibly shivering at his touch. This was infinitely worse (or better) than him zipping up your dress.

SCREAMIHDJD BLEEDONGD IGHTISNS LOSINGSIDB BFODHURHEODNO

DHEMEOOBPKSGSUHSK

OKAY JUST REALIZED THE PART I REFUSE TO ACKNOWLEDGE IS COMING SOON QND I DONT WANNA EVER REMEMBER THAT HAPPILY EVER AFTER WITHOUT THAT PART SHH

He walked you to your room, tucked you in bed and even got a wet wipe to take your makeup off for you. ”The sight of Jay cooking breakfast for you and your mother alone was enough to cure your hangover. You sneakily watched from the staircase as he expertly flipped pancakes and cooked eggs at the same time, all while holding a conversation with your mom. You walked into the kitchen and poured yourself a cup of coffee before taking a seat next to your mom, trying to but failing to suppress a smile. “I didn’t know you were also a housewife, Jongseong,”

He really is we love a house wife jongseong so much. love my men as housewives fr

“Y/N, there’s no way in hell you don’t wanna date that boy. Hell, if he wasn’t half my age, I probably would."

SAME YN's M0M SAME ME TOO

“Isn’t it common knowledge that Breaking Dawn is the last book in the series?” “It’s just that you’ve mentioned them so often, I thought I should check at least the first one out. Turns out they’re pretty addictive,” he admitted sheepishly. “Research purposes, of course.” A short silence ensued, the sort of silence you should’ve been used to with Jay by now but that always made you feel giddy - the sort that’s awkward in a lighthearted way, the sort where you’re repeating all the words that have just been said in your head and committing them to memory. The sort where you hope the other is feeling all the things you’re feeling.

STOP THATS SO ?!?!?#&¥#, I FEEL SP HAPPY SO FEELINGS MY FEELINGS ARE BEINGNPLAYED I FEEL SO I LOVE WITH IT WHEN PEOPLE SOMETHING WHEN PEOPLE LIKE IT SM AND YOU GET THE POINT JAY IS SUCH A SIMP omfg JUST KISS ALREADY GUYS ITS HRUTING ME MORE. #jaylittlesimp

“But you did. I think that shot of you will end the film perfectly.” 

omg. omfg. omfg OMFG IM GOING TO LOSE IT IM GOING TO JUMP IM GPING TO MELT EVAPRATE IDK SCREAM THROW UP THAS SONDIDNDKDNDB I LOVE IT WTF I LOVE THIS SCENE SO MUCH ITS SO RAW AND SO BEAUTIFUL I JUST. I CANT. I CANT.

“Then we’re more similar than I’d thought,” you said, and looked at him again.

we love some bonding time fr

“Um. Yeah, I knew,” he mumbled. He still wouldn’t look you in the eye. 

“Since the beginning, really. My dad’s not the type to do favors, and he wants to keep up that image. So if you’re my girlfriend, he wouldn’t give you the internship.”

stfu jay i. i BO BOOO BOOO no it broke me so much cuz yn reallyvwanted that internship and jay cpuld LEAST HAVE HINTED HER IG ?!??!! URGH fucker. oh god that would mean.... heeseung ew.

“That’s none of your business, Heeseung,” you replied curtly, opening the book.

exactly leave taje social que and LEAVE.

Plus, you had the perfect dress for the occasion.

SEXY LOVE IT MWAH

It was his turn to laugh. “Wow. That’s impressive. You managed to fool me.” His smile dropped. “Now get the fuck out.”

I hope you get kicjed in your balls. I curse you wtv. Hate you.

You sighed amusedly as if Heeseung was just joking around. “I just think it’s funny that you won’t fuck me because I’m not actually Jay’s girlfriend, when that’s not stopped you from getting with a different girl every single weekend. Whore,” you said, adding that last part in a whisper.

SPEAK THE TRUTHH BABE

“I like you too, Y/N.”

finally amd they lived happy ever after the end.

the "yeah" YEAH IM THAT WAS HOT.

“That’s okay. I would’ve waited my whole life if it meant I could have you at the end.” Butterflies erupted all over your stomach at his words. You kissed him like you’d stop breathing if you didn’t.

Me too hun me too

THAT WAS SO CUTE OMFGDUDBNFN I LOVE IT SM ONCE AGAIN YOU DID IT IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL NOW I GO CRY AND ANNPY FRIENDS ABOUT THIS AGAIN. THANK YOU FOR WRITING THIS MASTERPIECE

anon what if i start crying in this train… this is like. the best kind of feedback ever 😭😭😭😭 the freaking out over jay and y/n being cute and being idiots is so real tbh.. all those keyboard smashes are making me so happy hahaha also the fact that this is a reread 🙏🙏🙏 thank u so so so much anon u deserve the world for this fr it literally means so much to me… you’re off my holding at gunpoint list 🙏 also thanks for hating heeseung this much it’s what he deserves ANYWAYS RHANK Y THANK UOU THANK YOU I LVOE YOU HOPE BOYH AIDES OF UOUR OILLOW ARE COLD TONIGHT

[south-park-meta]

Hi! Stan is definitely my favorite character, but he was a bit of an ass in “Butterballs”. That said, I’m curious how you (in your hc) think he was able to overcome the fallout of his anti-bullying campaign? The backlash from his peers? His San Diego incident? His peers’ reaction to said incident? How he made up with Butters? How do you think he bounced back from all this?

Tbh I don't think he made up with Butters. I DOUBT it's something he really worked to apologize for. Butters and Stan don't like each other that much even when they're hanging out.

I guess I don't really see it as something that's overcome with his peers as a whole either. To some extent Stan has deeecent social collateral because he does with some frequency come through for his peers so tbh I think his San Diego thing wasn't even that necessary. I don't get the feeling that the kids keep ripping on each other for their dumbassery unless the dumbass in question is Cartman. So the San Diego stuff was just being self-flagellating and probably made Craig go 'your best friend's really weird' to Kyle or something but after he got back I imagine he just got weird glances for a couple days and then everyone stopped caring.

In general I feel like the kids have the benefit (and hurt) of being in such a small town. They know each other so well that I think the vast majority of characters DON'T work to apologize. Not just in this case or just with Stan but I tend not to see the characters as apologizing unless they're BFFS or something-- I see Stan and Kyle putting effort into apologizing if they actually manage to converse slights in a healthy way, particularly as they're older. But in general, nah. Not just cuz they're kids or because their parents as a whole don't stress the need of making amends, but because they're in such a small group that it's taken for granted that 'they know the REAL me'. Like, they feel comfortable enough to feel understood without NEEDING to apologize.

With Butters in particular Stan's group all looks down on and mocks Butters and Butters dislikes the whole group (sans Kenny) but sucks up to them periodically. That's really not a dynamic I see as any effort being made when there are wrongs (Stutters is one of the few pairings that actually puts me off incidentally lol).

I guess with an idealized hc I'd say Stan worked hard to apologize to Butters or his peers but....nah. I don't think he did. And I don't think it's something that the peers would hold over him for that long. It's just one of those things where if he acted like a tool in the future they'd make a little sly comment about 'that time you made Butters be naked in a music video'

[want2belikegracekelly]

The Diddler and other stories

I'm back dah-lings

It's mid September and alot of things have happened and so I shall begin with the arrest by the (actual) Feds of Brother Love. Wow it get's better the ninja just got denied bail. Even after he diabolically offered a 50 M bond. how much evil money does this guy have. it's quiet all over celebrity land as the indictment was unsealed and the government confirmed there was videos. So DIddy Evil or Sean Johnson n' Johnson (1000 bottles of baby oil is beyond narsty sir!! its fcken diabolical)

is wearing the orange jumpsuit in fed jail awaiting his next court hearing. I know all them attendees of the "freak offs" needing IV transfusions coz the sessions be so back-to-back are all wondering am I next on the meet the Feds? I feel that this mans need to be under the jail. For all those caught up in his evil web may your freedom be soon and may your peace be abundant.

I will never be able to articulate the fact that black women survivors are rarely believed and that a video of an egregious act had to surface for y'all to believe that brother Love was a monster. May he get all the years

Onto other stories, so this couple of weeks have been hard for the women who have been putting trust in ninjas. all I have to say to you is you have got to listen to the prophetic message of sister Khia when the she said Don't Trust No Niggaz

It all began when everybody was shocked when Dave Grohl had a baby on his wife after 21 years of marriage. Gworls were crying, vomiting, losing their damn breath but since i have been on the words of Khia I knew "you put your trust in a nigga? Stupid ho, how you figure He won't fuck your best friend and your sister? lie to ya, a-then screw ya" so 21 years hasn't changed who he is inside

the were still trusting in some British podcaster whose platform is mainly black women and they went to a white very racist podcasters show in USof A to keke with him. Shucking and jiving to derogatory stereotypes of black women, Nigerians and Muslims. My brothers just sat there and got dog walked on a podcast laughing at themselves. that white boy played you like a fiddle and laughed at you. we knew you were for the snow but to just sit there and take it like that, bruh STAND the FUCK UP!!!

but to say fight or flight in your apology. both you dudes was bigger than that guy and could have made his ass uncomfortable with just a "What do you mean by that?" make everybody uncomfortable.

but now you know Khia wasn't lying!!!

(also to say you didn't find a hot babe in ATL we know you fucking lying!)

so, before you go forgiving them coz of that weak ass apology remember Khia's words " Oh, you forgave him, ho? Dumb, silly ho That nigga don't mean you no good"

What I'm trying to put across to all you ladies with list of "non-problematic " men including Chosen running mate Tim you had better decenter these men from your lives, free yourself, stay knowing it could all blow up in your face coz good men also be benefiting from the systems of oppression. Hope for the best on your list sis but anything can change

Finally, I remember wondering how extremely racist DT campaign was going to be and I must say, final boss racist statements were not on my bingo card. to have the audacity to say immigrants are eating pets. Wow! Turns out some Karen in Ohio wrote this in her Facebook post and the thing caught traction. Now schools be closing early in Ohio due to death threats all on the backdrop of white woman lies! JD I fuck couches guy even has the gall to say they will make up lies to get people to listen. The brown woman who bore your kids must be one of them self-hating ones. this also applies to all the black and brown people descendants of immigrants voting for this man. you gotta hate yourself alot to think racist whitpypo will be salvation!

I can't help you see the truth but imma just leave it at how long will they play in your face before you stop licking them boots. As for the whites riding with this madness, under the banner of God's chosen or saving America, I never fucked with you, never will and stay losing forever!!

It will always be black women, believe black women, black women are beautiful up in here

[milosperfectlove]

(Tis I, Mint. Hi Vivinyan) 6, 8, 17, 28, 32!!

hi mint (meownt? mwint????)

putting dis under the cut cus this got pretty long oops

ask game

6. how do they wear their hair? do they care a lot how their hair looks?

vivian's hair is naturally curly, and she likes wearing her hair as a short bob with full bangs. she takes care to brush it every morning, wash it regularly, and get it trimmed when needed, but that's about it. relatively minimal effort. she doesn't have the time or energy to do anything particularly fancy with it. too much of a hassle.

most of the time, she just lets her hair loose. when it gets long enough for a ponytail or pigtails, she sometimes opts to put it in a low ponytail or low pigtails, with sidebangs hanging out. if she's putting her hair up, it's typically to help her focus on work, or to help make a coord look more put-together when preparing to go out.

8. do they have a nickname? who gave it to them? if it's not derived from their real name, what's the story behind it?

"vivi" and "viv" are very easy nicknames to derive from her name, so anyone who's the type of person to casually call people by nicknames is likely to call her by that of their own accord, and she's been called as such by a few different people before. these people have been those that vivian was only vaguely acquainted with through sharing a class or some other, so she's neutral on being called as such by them in particular. being called by a nickname does process as special attention though, so she appreciates the attention, at least.

she likes being called by those nicknames a lot more if it's coming from a friend, though, and some of her closest friends opt to call her by "vivi". i like to imagine that milo just calls her by "vivian" even after they start dating until vivian specifically asks him to call her by "vivi". i think he'd be convinced that vivian wouldn't like him in particular calling her by "vivi"??? to which vivian has to remind him that they are literally dating and he's already calling her darling, love, etc. from there, i think he's more likely to use "vivi" when he's feeling especially lovey-dovey, especially on M route.

17. how did they spend their summers/free time as a child?

vivian mostly stayed inside and played video games, drew characters she liked, or browsed the web. she was a very lonely child who spent most of her time online, so when given the free time, she'd stay at home on her computer all day, every day.

it was fun to go out whenever her parents specifically had an outing planned, but she hardly requested anywhere to go herself. it was a pain in the ass to convince her parents to go anywhere if they weren't already planning for it.

28. how do they show that they care about someone? how do they express that they don't like someone?

if vivian feels attached to someone, she'll be enthusiastic to spend time with them, although she'd feel really nervous asking them if they'd like to spend time unless they're close with each other. she'd also feel much more compelled to share her interests with them and listen to them about their interests. she gets nervous about sharing her interests with people unless specifically prompted - she'd rather not risk getting mocked for the things which she's passionate, so if she's sharing them with someone else unprompted, she's pretty certain the other person would react positively. if she's friends with the person in question (as in, she's certain that the other considers her a friend as well), she'll send them posts that remind her of them. memes and funny posts, cool art and photography, whatever she happens to come across on her feed that she feels the other person would enjoy. her expression of care isn't limited to these things, but it's what comes most naturally to her.

if she doesn't like someone, her expression of such depends on whether or not she feels that she'll benefit personally from remaining as amicable as possible with the person in question. if she feels she'll benefit from being on good terms with them, she'll put up her sweet front and try to express any disagreements she may have as gently as possible, keeping her irritation to herself. at worst, if they're really annoying, she'll bitch about them to her closest friends, out of earshot. however, if she feels that there's nothing to gain or lose from keeping up the front around them, she'll drop the front and be very blunt with her irritation. such a position comes pretty rare, though, so most of the time, it's gonna be the sweet front.

32. do they have any habits that aren't particularly self-destructive, just maybe odd?

a lot of her vocal stims tend to be just cutesy sounds, and those ones are especially present whenever she's moving around. even simple actions like pulling open a door or stepping down off the curb to cross the street often warrants her making a noise. this is one of those things where she's not trying to be cutesy on purpose, but she does feel like this adds to her cute charm.

[needabetternamelater]

"We've already established that prisons put a lot of innocent people away so we can't never be 100% sure someone is guilty of a crime unless we have a whole group of people recording it at once on camera-" I mean, even then, we can't be 100% sure. At least one person could be a paid actor, several people could have decided to film at a point that cuts out crucial context. I don't think this is the case in any of the famous circumstances so far, to be clear, but if we're going by 100% sure, we can't use that either. "oh wait we have that with a whole bunch of cops? Video proof of them killing people just out in the open for you me and god to see?" Who is the 'we' here? "and they're still walking free?" Yeah, I happen to think this is a bad thing. You apparently don't. "oh" Look, you were the one wanting more of 'no-one going to prison ever' not me. "You're living in a hypothetical world where we are 100% sure every crime ever committed had proof of the person committing it. We don't live in the 2002 hit thriller Minority Report starting Tom Cruse." No. We're not 100% sure of anything - even the cop example! I dare you to link and quote to where I said that. "But even if we did I'm just not sure rape and emotional trauma is a good punishment for crimes. That cop who stood of a guy's neck until he died don't deserve to get ass raped in prison. That's not probably going to make him better person when he gets out." Rape isn't a good punishment for crime, no. Should we deliberately inflict emotional trauma on him? Fuck no. Should he spend some time in a mandatory rehab facility that he's not allowed to leave 100% voluntarily? Yeah. Do I particuarlycare if that causes him emotional trauma for his own benefit? Not for him, no, but only to the extent that it helps other people. If it's important for you to call that something other than prison, that's up to you. But not everyone will go along with your definition. I agree that won't make him get better when he gets out but uhh..We could also resolve that problem with 'whole life order' thus rendering whether he's better or not a moot point.

"He probably deserve to have a punishment bestowed upon him by the family members of the person he killed, whatever that may be, but that's a system of government we don't have." Oh, fuck no. That system was so fuckin' bad that we invented prisons and police as the reform. This is how we get blood feuds and mobs. Look, Capital Punishment sucks donkey-balls but at least capital punishment after the trial sucks slightly less than before the trial. I don't think we should have the death penalty at all. But so long as we do, we should at least *try* to prove their guilt to *some* standard first.

What do prison abolitionists want to happen? Just answer the goddamn question.