#so i just woke up last tuesday and stopped using it

[ambivalence-is-me]

Your Power (1)

Pairing: Azriel x reader

Summary: Meeting Azriel and the inner circle was not in your plans by any means. But it happened and it was not your brightest moment.

Word count: 3.4k

Warnings: mentions of death

A/N: Had this idea for a while and wanted to get it out! I haven’t read Silver Flames soo anything that might seem out of place is totally on purpose. I apologize for any (all) grammatical error :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

‘’YOU!’’

Azriel saw you the second you started walking their way. Your wide-eyed friend behind you trying to keep up with your drunk self. As always, he was on high alert even when his family told him to relax and enjoy the night. So, when he saw where you were headed, he quickly analyzed the situation and realized you weren’t a threat, even more as your friend tried to get you to stop.

He looked at Rhys, who in return raised an eyebrow at you and gave you his charming smile, and then back at you and decided to entertain the scene before him.

‘’You’ve forgotten about us, you know that right?! How can you continue to act all high and mighty while the rest of us are breaking down more and more each day!’’

You had one finger pointing at Rhys, your other hand bunched up in a fist on your side. They (Azriel, Rhys, Cassian, Feyre and Mor. The rest of the inner circle didn’t bother to go out that night and join them at Rita’s) all knew you were drunk but you were looking at them so fiercely, your voice never quivered, you definitely had all of their attention.

‘’Yes, you saved us but for what? To cast us aside when you’re done?’’ You looked to Feyre then. ‘’And you! I had such high hopes for you! A high lady yes, go females! But you’ve done the same!’’

Azriel saw how Rhys stopped smiling the second you turned to his mate, still recognizing that you were all bark and no bite but knowing how Feyre was going to save every single word you were saying in her brain and was going to overthink it later. Clearly, the amount of drinks you’ve had didn’t make you forget you were currently yelling at the High Lord and High Lady.

‘’Velaris needs you, the people need you! So do something about it!’’ With this, you finally dropped your hand, looked at them one last time before storming away. Your friend, once again, running after you not wanting to look at them after what you had done. She knew you were going to regret this outburst the next day.

And you did.

The second you woke up the next day, everything came rushing back and you wished you had a hangover so you wouldn’t have to think about it. A hangover sounded a thousand times better than thinking about how foolish and stupid you looked the night before.

Like, really? To go to the inner circle’s table, drunk, and yell at the high lord and lady? Surely, they were either going to forget about it or kill you. Or maybe they’d kill you and THEN forget about the incident. Sure, that’s what was going to happen.

But you quickly dismissed the idea when two days passed and nothing happened. Your life went back to normal and that was it. As if, the encounter you had with Velaris’ (and probably all of Prythian’s) most powerful fae was nothing. It probably was, you were just another common fae.

So, two days passed and you put it on the back of your mind focusing on your duties. Today, first thing you must do is drop off your nephew at school.

On Tuesday mornings, your sister-in-law wakes up before the sunrise to get ingredients for the shop meaning she couldn’t take your nephew to school. Therefore, you volunteered to do it. You loved your nephew and would do anything for him and his mother. Anything to make their lives easier. Sometimes your mom would join you but most times, it was just you and you were more than okay with that, savoring all the time you can with your nephew.

‘’Excellent! You’re gonna ace that test, kid’’. You sent him a big smile, squeezing the hand you were holding as you made your way to the school.

‘’I hope so. Mom said she’d let join her to the meadows if I did.’’ Of course he was interested in joining his mother. Like her, he loved nature and everything it provided them. He said he wanted to follow her footsteps and he was unknowingly also following his father's.

Your brother.

‘’Then you better get your boots ready, kid. I’m positive you’re gonna do great.’’

He gave you a big smile. He had your brother’s smile and you loved that about him. It made you feel like he was always there with you. It made missing him hurt less, even if years had already passed.

Both of you continue the walk to school. Talking about anything and everything. Like you, he was a yapper. But not everyone got to see that side of you. Many said you were quiet but that’s only because you don’t trust easily. Once you trust someone then they couldn’t get you to shut up. It was one of the many things that made you, you.

As you were nearing the school, your nephew stopped. ‘’What was that?’’

You looked at him confused ‘’What was what?’’

He looked around as if trying to locate whatever thing he saw. ‘’ I don’t know. It looked like a shadow’’. You looked at him even more confused. A shadow?

‘’Maybe it was a dragon’’ He looked at you unamused. ‘’Dragons don’t exist, Aunt Y/N’’.

‘’Maybe they should’’ you murmured under your breath. You shook your head and forgot about it as you looked at the school. You sighed. ‘’All right, kid. Go in there and do everything I wouldn’t do.’’

He gave you a look. ‘’You’re not supposed to encourage that’’. He was so mature for being so young.

You giggled and gave him a push towards school. ‘’Give ‘em hell! I’ll see you later!’’ You waved and sent him a kiss goodbye.

Once he was inside, you made your way to work.

Before you were even born, your family owned an apothecary shop. Your mother made sure you and your brother knew all about the family business as you were growing up. Your father passed away when you were a babe, having no recollection of him. Therefore, your mother ran the business until you or your brother were old enough to take care of it.

Growing up, you knew quickly that you wanted to do nothing with it. Nature was not your thing, you had great respect for it but it didn’t come naturally to you the way it did for your brother. He loved it and he loved spending time in the shop with your mother learning about it.

They had decided then that he was to stay with the shop once he was of age and finished his studies. You, on the other hand, gravitated to another side: music and arts. You loved anything that had to do with music: listening, playing, creating it; you name it. If there was music, you’d be there. A trait you’d inherited from your father, that’s what mother always said.

You had a job at a music shop and you loved it. It was everything you ever wanted and you were SO SURE that the man that owned it was going to promote you and one day maybe even give it to you. You wanted to take care of it, of the instruments, of the stories behind them. The shop had nights where the people would come and play together creating beautiful music. You wanted to play in all of them. Music was one of the things that made you extremely happy.

But then the war happened and your brother died.

And all of your plans to stay at the music shop died with him. You couldn’t stay there and let your family business die with him too. Your mother, nephew and sister-in-law were heart broken (as were you, of course. Heart broken doesn’t even come close) and you knew they were in no shape to run the shop.

So, there you went and stepped up to the plate. It was very hard at first to get the hang of it. You weren’t your brother, you didn’t have the same patience or love for it but eventually, you made it through. A year later, your sister-in-law decided to work there as well, saying that it made her feel closer to her husband.

You understand her completely, because sometimes you feel like he was there. It made you somewhat happy that you didn’t give up on the shop, on his dream even if you had to give up yours. Also, you have so much respect for her, not imagining how it must feel to love someone (romantically) so deeply, someone you swore was going to be with you for eternity and then having them gone so unexpectedly. Never to see them again.

You had your flings sure, but in all your centuries of being alive, you had never fallen in love the way your brother and sister-in-law were. Their love story was one of the most beautiful stories you’ve ever experienced and you hope to have one yourself one day. But until then, your day must go on.

‘’Good morning!’’ You said to Sabrina, one of the faes that also worked in the shop. She looked at you and smiled back.

‘’Morning, boss!’’ She was younger than you by a few centuries and you enjoyed having her in the shop. Somehow, she was always up to date with the town’s gossip so it was great to yap with her.

‘’How was your night, huh? That male still thinks you’re his mate?’’

She gave you a mischievous smile and a wink. ‘’Oh yeah, you should’ve see him. I got him to fix my bathroom sink. For free of course’’. Oh yeah, she scared you as well. She was a beautiful fae (and she knew it). With eyes and body that resembled siren’s, she could have any male she wanted and somehow tricked them into believing they were mates. Like a siren would indeed.

You thought it was both hilarious and dumb. You’ve heard tales of mating bonds, of how precious, powerful and extremely rare they were. And yet, somehow the males believed Sabrina when she would tell them that she was their mate.

‘’Males are dumb and will believe anything you say to them so long you give them attention’’ She would always say. She was right in one thing for sure, males are dumb.

‘’You’re evil’’. You said with a laugh and went inside the office of the shop.

Ugh, this work was so boring and tedious, you thought. How did your brother enjoy this? Shaking your head to clear your thoughts, you sighed and started working.

Until about 20 minutes later, Sabrina stormed inside the office. You looked up at her confused, she wasn’t one to barge in like that.

‘’Yes? What’s wrong?’’ She was wide eyed, mouth opening as if she’d seen a ghost. So, you told her just that. ‘’You look like you’ve seen a ghost’’.

‘’Shadows actually’’ She whispered. You looked at her even more confused. Shadows? Like the ones your nephew saw this morning?

‘’Shadows?’’

‘’Shadowsinger’’

‘’Shadowsinger? Sabrina, you’re not making any sense’’. Truly, she was scaring you. Shadowsinger, what the heck did she mean?

‘’He’s here!’’ She whispered yelled. ‘’The high lord’s Shadowsinger. He’s here and he’s looking for you’’. Her frightened eyes never steering from yours.

The high lord’s-what? But then, it all clicked in. Your eyes and mouth opened wide.

‘’Shit shit shit’’ you whispered yelled as well. Standing up from the chair and pacing in front of Sabrina.

‘’What did you do?!’’ the whisper-yells continued.

But you weren’t listening to her, you were replaying that Mother’s awful night in your mind. ‘’I’m gonna die, he’s gonna kill me’’. You whispered and Sabrina let out a squeak, hands quickly going to her mouth.

‘’No! You can’t! I can’t lose this job, Y/N! I’m still so young. Oh my Mother. Who’s gonna tell your mother? I can’t tell her! She scares me.’’ Sabrina continued her rambling, you listening to bits and pieces and further feeling fear run through your body.

‘’My sister-in-law is ready to take over okay? Just, make sure you hide my body and everything will be okay. You’ll make sure of that right?’’ In another scenario, this would be downright funny to you but right now, you actually believed that the male behind the door (who was probably listening to all of this) was actually going to murder you.

Sabrina shook her head repeatedly, motioning with her hands as well. ‘’Absolutely not. That is a lot of responsibility here. I’m technically a witness here! What if he kills me too?’’ After saying that, she froze, and you saw how pale her face was getting at the thought of dying at the hands of the Shadowsinger.

So once again, you had to step up and be the strong one. With that thought, you stilled.

Okay so you were drunk and decided to go to the most powerful high lord (and high lady) and told them off. Not your brightest decision, clearly, but everything you said that night was true. It was what all of the citizens of Velaris were thinking but no one had dared to say out loud, specially directly to the rulers of the city.

After the first attack the city suffered, Velaris was a slowly sinking ship and it seemed like the inner circle wasn’t paying attention to it or its citizens. But you were. Because you were also one of them, another citizen. But you were very observant and most importantly, you listened. You listened to their troubles, fears and never ending grief. You and your family were all testament to that. So when it seemed like time kept passing and no one was stepping up, you said something.

Drunk, mind you, but it was said. So, if one of the most powerful faes of all time was there to kill you, then you’d find a sense of pride amidst all of the fear inside you, and then die knowing you tried to help the people of Velaris.

Even if they would never know.

‘’Let him in’’ You stated after clearing your throat.

Sabrina’s eyes stayed wide open. ‘’Are you sure?’’

‘’He’s not going to want to kill me in front of you okay? I- just’’ You sighed, none of this was making sense. ‘’Just let him in, please’’.

But both of you knew that there was no other choice but to let him in. So with that, Sabrina nodded, looked at you as if it was the last time she ever would, and walked out to get the male.

You struggled to stay still, hands fidgeting, looking straight at the door and swallowing down fear. Any moment now, he was going to walk in and death-

Holy Cauldron, he was the most gorgeous male you’ve ever seen.

You quickly replayed that night in your mind, trying to remember if he looked as good as he looks now but truthfully, your vision was hazy and focused only on Rhysand and Feyre. You were honestly glad of that, that you were so focused on your goal and not exactly looking at him because if you did, you’d cower and retreat at the sight of his beauty.

He was one beautiful intimidating male, that’s for sure. And one who was here on a mission.

‘’Hello’’ You squeaked out. Quickly clearing your throat and recovering (trying to at least). ‘’Is there anything I can help you with?’’

The fact that this female, the same one who had the balls to go up to his high lord and tell him off without a second thought, is the very same female who is now standing before him and looking at him like she wanted to run away, had him fighting a smile.

He’s a male who takes his job very seriously, known for being closed off and stoic. So when Rhys sent him to find the female who had left an impression on all of them and whose words stroke a nerve, he did it without a second thought. It wasn’t that hard to find you, he was really good at his job and also, your family business was well known in Velaris. People knew who you were and even though not all of them knew the real you, they knew you were a kind, caring and hard-working fae.

After finding everything he could about you, he reported back to Rhysand and Feyre. You were born and raised in Velaris, good grades, even better behavior, worked at a music shop, were now the owner of the apothecary, mother stayed at home, no father, has a sister-in-law who works at the shop, has a nephew, brother dead, no husband (that he could find at least). You were just another common fae. A really pretty one, one of his shadows had whispered to him.

He agreed.

He could see you getting antsier the longer it took him to reply. So with an raised eyebrow, he extended his hand toward you that held a parchment you had failed to see when you were too busy ogling at him and wondering if the death was going to be a painful one.

You saw it now. You also saw his hands. The rumors were true then. They were filled with scars, you wondered for a second how they must feel to touch.

Shaking those thoughts out of your head, you cleared your throat and stepped closer to take the parchment. ‘’Um-okay, thank you’’.

Really? Your thanking him for what exactly? You grabbed it and looked at it for a second before staring back at him. Not wanting to lose the opportunity to stare at his eyes up close.

Those rumors were also true. His hazel eyes were absolutely beautiful. For Mother’s sake, did he have an ugly bone in his body?!, you thought.

‘’Open it’’ How can someone so beautiful and intimidating make you feel things with just their voice? Is this what his prisoners feel before they die?

You could listen to him talk all day, but his reputation tells you that he’s not one to talk much, not like you. Which is exactly what you’re going to start doing if you continue to stand in his presence.

You weren’t sure if he was going to stand for your yapping. ‘’Oh! Sure-okay.’’ Clearing your throat once again, you looked away from his eyes and finally focused on the piece of parchment.

Opening and reading it, you gasped and your eyes widened.

‘’Dear Y/N Y/L/N,

We are inviting you to a formal meeting that will be held in two days, morning time at The Library. Please confirm with Azriel of your attendance.

We eagerly await your presence.

Rhysand and Feyre

High Lord and High Lady of the Night’s Court. ‘’

A meeting? With you? For what? Do they all want to have a part in your death?

You really need to stop thinking that they’re going to kill you, they would have done it by now…right?

Your ongoing thoughts were definitely not helping with the nerves. Why the heck did they want to meet with you?

Reading it a third time, you saw the name Azriel and assumed this was the Shadowsinger standing right before you and patiently waiting for your response.

Right, response. You’re supposed to confirm your attendance. But, were you going to go? Were you really going to say no to your high lord and lady? You might’ve been brave when you were under the influence but any other day you weren’t exactly courageous or anything. But what was at stake here? Maybe this was your chance to apologize for that night. You weren’t going to apologize for saying the truth but perhaps how it was delivered. Okay sure, you can do that..right?

‘’Right-umm’’. You looked at the male before you, noticing the brightness of his hazel eyes and was that amusement? Was he..amused by all of this?

‘’I’ll be there’’. You decided. Fuck, you weren’t sure about this. But it was out there, Azriel heard it and was sure going to report it back.

Azriel nodded and took a step back from you.

You were glad of the extra breathing space. It was still early, how the heck were you supposed to focus during the rest of the day?

‘’I wouldn’t leave your body here, I’d hide it. Can’t leave evidence behind’’

Did he just make a joke? Of your death? He obviously heard you and Sabrina then. And the male had the audacity to find it funny!

So, the cold and ruthless Shadowsinger had humor then…a dark one it seems. Interesting.

Too shock to reply to that, you saw a hint of a smile on his face before he quickly hid it and left. Leaving you with a memory of his eyes and smile engraved in your brain.

What the fuck did you agree to?

[gurugirl]

More of You | bfd!harry

there's a reference to his hair drying all curly after a shower so i had to use this image

Note: Can be read as standalone

Summary: Harry's at your place for a couple of days and you're enjoying having him all to yourself.

Word Count: 5.1k

Warning: 18+ only, smut, lying, cheating, age gap, breeding kink (you guys asked for the breeding kink and this one is full of it), fluff

bfd!harry masterlist

Harry convinced you to call off work the next morning. You were due to go in that afternoon but Mondays were slow anyway and tips were generally subpar when it was slow. Plus you rarely called off so once wouldn’t hurt anything.

He listened as you rolled over in bed and called your boss.

You made up an excuse about being sick to your stomach. And being sick as a server is a big no-no so your boss didn’t even put up a fight. He told you to feel better and then said he’d see you Wednesday because you already had Tuesday off. Two whole days with Harry uninterrupted sounded like heaven.

You sat up to place your phone back on your nightstand and intended on getting up to put a t-shirt on and make coffee but Harry lunged toward you and wrapped his arms around your middle, pulling you back into the bed. His strong arms easily keeping you from getting up.

“Where are you going?” He said as he pushed you down and leaned over you, caging you in by putting his thigh over yours.

You laughed, “I was going to make coffee.”

“I think we should stay in bed for a while longer,” he spoke as he brought a hand up to your neck and then ducked down to kiss your lips.

And that pretty much had you melting into your mattress and feeling fuzzy and blurry with his lips against yours.

You pulled your arms around Harry’s back and felt the scratches you’d given him the night before. You helped him clean them because you’d done some damage.

“Harry you already fucked me,” you moaned as he began to lower his lips down your body.

He stopped the wet path of his lips down and looked up at you, “So? I have an appetite. You just do something to me, Y/n. Prepare yourself for two days of this.” And with that, he attached his mouth to your cunt and you yelped.

You woke up that morning and had hot quick morning sex. You got off so impossibly fast that Harry even had to question if you’d been faking it. But of course, you weren’t. It was just everything all at once. His love, his body, his words, his presence.

And now he wanted to take his time with you. Get you all worked up again and fuck you slowly, filling you up with everything he had to give you.

With your thighs wrapped around his head and Harry’s quick tongue at your clit you came for the second time that morning. But he felt you yanking at his hair and you were begging him to get inside of you again.

“Desperate for me again? Fuck I love that.” He moved up your body and you were writhing under him.

“Yes. Please, Harry. Fill me up full. I need it.”

Harry let out a soft laugh as he kissed each of your nipples. You hadn’t even had time to clean up after the last round because you’d called your boss. So you were still full with his come, which he could taste as he was eating you out.

“Does it really feel that good, baby? You know you’re already stuffed with my come right now. Right? You want more?”

Nodding your head you pulled at him impatiently, “Need more. Want to carry your babies and drip with your come every day all day long.”

Harry groaned. Your sex drive matched his libido perfectly. He loved it. How much you enjoyed having sex. How slick you got and how fertile you were. It all fed into his primal kink to breed. You might have been on birth control but he could have fun with it. He knew you were dirty and enjoyed it too.

He plunged into your hole, pushing his previous orgasm deeper inside of you. The wet squelches were sloppy and obscene. You were so incredibly wet and still dripping with him that it made things even messier. He sat back onto his haunches and slowly thrust into you, pulling back and plunging in until his pubic hair dipped into your messy, wet pussy.

Your legs were spread apart wide as you looked up at him. Harry was honed in on where his cock was spreading you apart. You moaned at the feel of it. Everything was so wet and sticky. You knew it would be on your sheets.

“Fuck me just like that Harry. Deep, get it in there.” You panted your words. Harry was going deep but he wasn’t going hard.

Harry moaned and turned his gaze toward your pretty face, his hands at your hips, pulling you toward him on each thrust, “You just want to be my come hole? Get filled up over and over again?”

You could hear the desperation in his voice. He was already close to coming.

“Yes, sir. Need you to keep pumping your babies into me. Fuck your come into me, and then fill me again so it gets into my womb.”

“Shit, baby. So creamy…” Harry panted as he continued pulling you over his cock like you were a toy he needed to fuck down over himself. Your tits wobbled with each pull and he could hear how wet everything was. Messy. “Gonna breed you, baby. Make you a mommy, yeah? Keep draining my cock deep into your pussy until you’re fat with all my babies. That what you want?”

You cried out and nodded, “Yes! Oh my god… yes!”

Harry could feel his heart thundering in his chest. He’d never been able to do what he was doing right then. Back-to-back orgasms. Even when he was younger he needed to recover. He’d always had a high sex drive but his natural refractory period typically meant he needed some time in between. But god, with you? It was like you just pushed all his buttons exactly like he needed.

He moaned as his eyes roved your sexy form. A pretty thing and all his. Soft thighs shaking, tits wobbling, tummy getting fucked into, wet lips wide open with a fucked out smile… All his.

“Come in me, Harry. Please, sir. Come inside of me. Make me all yours…” you moaned. You were really getting into the breeding thing. Never had it appealed to you before Harry. And maybe the reasons you liked it so much with him were selfish. Because part of you would love to have him get you pregnant. Then he’d really be all yours. You knew Harry would do anything to take care of you and he’d forsake everyone for you. Just as you would for him.

Harry’s thumb landed on your clit and you wailed in ecstasy, throwing your head back as you grasped the tops of his thighs, “Yesss!”

He watched you arch and tremble and felt your pussy fluttering around him so he kept at what he was doing. He could tell you were near your end.

“Gonna come on my cock? Milk me of everything I’ve got? Selfish little thing wants all my come inside of her pussy doesn’t she?”

You groaned lowly and sputtered out a cry. You were actually crying. You had tears on your face but it wasn’t because you didn’t like what was happening. It was because you liked it too much. “Want it all. Want all your come inside of me. Only mine,” you babbled on about his come only being yours and how you needed it inside of you.

He closed his eyes for a moment to keep his thrusts steady because his view of your pussy taking him, creamy white arousal pushed down over the base of his cock, his come leaking out of your hole and down your ass… he was about to explode inside of you again.

“Fucking come then, baby. I’m gonna give you my come but I need to feel you coming first, honey. Come on, Y/n.”

You blubbered and cried and then you snapped. The loud wail that fell from your lungs had Harry taken aback. It was… loud. But he had little time to consider the kind of noises you two were making in your bedroom with your bed bouncing and creaking loudly and your high-pitched moans and yelps.

The moment you cried out as he felt you squeeze around him and your thigh muscles tightened he could feel you orgasming. He coughed out a loud groan and poured into you finally, pressing his hips against yours and rocking down into you so he could get his come inside of your guts and fill your walls with his sperm.

You both whined and cried, you much louder, but the overload of come inside of your pussy was like a small fountain. It dripped down your ass cheeks and soaked the bed under you. Harry had himself buried in so deep and had a hold of your hips so you couldn’t pull away, his balls snug against you as he pumped and pumped into you.

“Shit!” He groaned. He had come so hard that he saw specks in his vision and he felt lightheaded.

When he caught his breath he collapsed over you and felt your legs wrap around his low back, “Harry… oh my god. I love you so much.”

He smiled into the pillow and turned his head so his lips were at your ear, “I love you, baby.”

.           .           .

You were floaty and soft feeling after you’d had two orgasms. Harry was not feeling much different. He kept you close to him after. A short shower together to rinse off and touch and be together. Harry kissed your shoulders and your neck as you leaned your back into his chest under the stream of tepid water.

And in the kitchen with a breakfast of coffee and oatmeal, you teased him about the way his hair was drying in wild curls on top of his head, “You should really just do it like this, Harry. It’s so sexy,” you pushed your fingers into his hair.

He chuckled with a bite of food in his mouth and shook his head, as he watched you. When he’d swallowed his bite he pulled your hand from his hair and fit his fingers in between yours, “That is not going to happen. S’too messy.”

You shook your head, “I like it. It’s wild but it’s cute. Looks like you just had some really good sex.”

Harry pinched your thigh and pulled your chair right next to his before dragging you into his lap, your back hitting his chest with his mouth at your ear as he spoke, “My sex hair is only for you to see, baby.”

You grinned as you felt his hand grip your chin and turn your head so he could kiss your lips.

Harry’s phone rang suddenly and you quickly moved off his lap to let him up. He picked up his cell phone and looked at you before lifting the phone so you could see that Fae was calling him. A signal to keep quiet.

“Hey Fae,” Harry paced into the living room as he answered.

You busied yourself putting the bowls away but couldn’t help but hear his side of the conversation with his daughter.

“Okay… well, we haven’t even really discussed it yet so-“

He was silent for a moment as you rinsed the dishes but then heard him again, his tone was upset.

“Fae, listen to me,” he sighed and you watched as he walked in front of your couch, back and forth, “That’s not it. No.”

He laughed in frustration and then sat down, “I’m not home because it’s the middle of a work day, Fae.”

Harry leaned back into the couch and closed his eyes.

You knew she’d be talking to you about this soon. You imagined Fae called to find out what was going on with him and her mom. She’d want to vent to you. And all you could think about was how you’d navigate the lies.

“Sweetheart, this doesn’t change anything, okay? We just need some time.”

When he finally hung up you sat down next to him and waited for him to tell you what was said.

With his back still into the cushions he scooped your hand into his and brought it up to his chest, “She’s pissed at me. Asked if her mother was going to divorce me.”

You swallowed at the ��D’ word. It was something you only allowed yourself to indulge in alone. You ran over all the scenarios in your head. It would be messy. Everyone would hate you but you’d have him in the end. And if that’s how it all wound up, that didn’t seem like the worst thing. No. The worst thing was to not end up with him after it all.

“Are you okay?” You asked, your body turned toward his.

He turned his head and looked at you with a smile, “I’m here with you so I’m okay. You make me happy, Y/n. I don’t know what’s going out outside of this but I know when I’m with you, I’m fine.”

You felt the same. Everything outside of your apartment was iffy and shaky. But inside, with Harry’s hands on you, his eyes on you, his voice, his existence connecting with yours… everything was fine.

With the TV on you and Harry curled into one another and watched whatever daytime television show was airing. The call from Fae had changed the air a bit. Harry didn’t want his daughter upset with him and you were on edge wondering when she’d be calling you to vent.

But you had him with you. He was at your apartment with you because that’s where he chose to go. And that had to mean something. Because you were sure his wife expected him to beg her to come back. That he’d be doing anything at all to win her back and explain himself and prove to her that nothing was going on. But he didn’t do that. Instead, he came to you that very night. Rather than going to his wife’s sister’s house to talk to her and smooth things out, he found his way to you and made love to you, and brought a bag so he could stay. Even if it would only be for a couple of nights it meant something.

And even though the air had changed, Harry still stayed within arm’s reach of you. At Lunchtime he had you sitting on the counter next to him while he made you sandwiches and then you sat together on your couch to eat.

“I brought something with me. For us,” Harry spoke in between his bites as he looked at you.

“What did you bring?”

He swallowed his bite and the look on his face told you that he needed to work up the nerve to say what he was about to, “Remember that toy I bought for you?”

You nodded. You did remember. The one that you told him to take with him when you were upset. The one his wife found in his study. There seemed to be a lot of negativity surrounding that toy so you could understand his hesitancy in bringing it up.

He scratched the back of his neck as he leaned forward to put his plate on your coffee table, “Was thinking we could test it out. If you want to.”

“Test it out?” You grinned and placed your empty plate down over Harry’s on your coffee table.

He raised his brows and shrugged, “Do you want to? Just to see?”

There was no way you’d say no to the man. Of course, you’d enjoy testing out a toy with him. You watched Harry connect it to charge and then you read over the instructions and Googled reviews.

The thing was mostly already charged when it arrived so after cleaning it off Harry brought you to your couch and laid the pink toy on your coffee table.

He stayed on the floor on his knees between your legs and pulled you down for a kiss, “You ready? Gonna get you worked up first and then we’ll see what that thing can do.”

Harry was already slipping your panties down your legs as he spoke. His lips against yours were soft and his hands gently spread your thighs further apart.

He pushed you back into your couch and began to peck wet kisses up your thighs and he had his hands holding your hips in place.

“Want you all wet first. Make it feel really good for you,” he spoke as moved his mouth upward to the space where your inner thighs were softest.

He sat back and pushed your t-shirt up over your tits and licked upward over your breasts until the air cooled them and your soft moans invited him to do more.

He planted his gaze on yours as he bent down and pulled at your thighs, causing your bum to slide off the edge of the couch so he could have access to your pussy.

And he put that access to good use.

He softly licked and kissed your clit and your labia, speaking filth in between as he went, “This little pussy is so pretty,” he puffed hot breath over your clit before softly tonguing at the hood, “and it’s all mine to fuck and lick and kiss. Can’t wait to see how she’s gonna look riding her new pink toy.”

You began to laugh at his “new pink toy” comment but it was cut off when he sucked your clit into his mouth with a slurp.

He lifted again with a grin, “She’s all wet now, look at that,” he thumbed at your crease and ran your glistening arousal over your clit before bringing it up so you could watch the spectacle of how wet you’d gotten for him so quickly. The string of arousal connected from his thumb to your cunt was broken as he moved his thumb up to your lips.

You wrapped your lips around his thick thumb and licked off your arousal.

“You ready to take it on a test drive now, baby?”

You laughed through your nose, “Why not?” You said with a grin.

Harry opened his phone and pulled up the app, selecting a pre-programmed setting for vibrations.

“Rub your clit for me,” he directed as he pressed the bulb to your entrance. It easily slid in with a gentle push and you moved your fingers from your clit when the little wand slid into place.

The moment he pushed play you felt the deep rumble inside. Now, you’d played with toys on your own before. You had a decent vibrator. But you knew this one could be used from his house on you while you were in your apartment.

“How’s it feel?” He asked as he looked from your pussy where the little pink antenna was sticking out to your eyes. He was still on the floor between your legs, his hands at your thighs to keep them apart.

You swallowed and nodded, “Yeah… uh… it feels good. Kind of like you’re fingering me with vibrations,” you giggled but then the programmed settings suddenly increased the thrumming inside and you gasped, widening your eyes. Oh yeah. That felt pretty good.

Harry watched you for a bit as you progressively got wetter. Having him right between your legs watching a toy rumble inside of you was quite odd. You’d never done anything like it before.

“Oh!” You yelped when the vibrations stuttered and stopped, started to life, and began to repeat in a pattern that you knew was hitting your g-spot, just like the booklet said it could. It was small but it definitely reached the spots it needed to.

Suddenly your phone began to ring.

You and Harry looked at one another for a moment before you lifted it to your ear quickly to get it over with.

It was Fae. Immediately she commented that she was surprised you’d picked up.

“Oh yeah, I called off today. Wasn’t feel very great. Just needed some rest. What’s up?”

You looked at Harry who had his eyes on you already.

Fae wanted to come over. She asked if she could stop by and you hated, loathed to lie to her.

“Maybe tomorrow afternoon I can meet you for lunch? Not today. I really am not feeling up to it.” You turned your face from the phone and gasped, dropping your mouth open as the vibrations were rattling your insides.

So, she told you about her father and her mother and how she was worried. Told you that her mother had left their home to stay with her sister and how Harry didn’t seem too concerned.

“I’m sure he cares, Fae. He loves you and your mother!” You hadn’t meant to speak so frantically at the end but the toy was still working inside of you.

“No! I’m okay! Sorry, I burnt myself. Can I call you back?” Again, your tone was too keyed up but you truly couldn’t help it as you panted, turning your mouth away from the receiver in hopes that Fae wouldn’t hear you.

It turned out that Fae was getting ready to head into the store to go to work. She had wanted to drop by on her way but you were in no position to allow that. Clearly.

You rushed off the phone as your chest heaved. You’d need to deal with the guilt of lying to her and brushing her off after.

Harry shook his head and grinned at you, “You okay?”

You nodded, “I think so. This thing is really good, though, Harry.”

It was. Once the pre-programmed selection started to pulse in heavy vibrations you grabbed Harry’s hands from your thighs and pulled him up to your mouth to kiss.

He laughed against your lips and used one of his hands to pull his pants down. You could tell he was stroking his cock as he kissed you but you, being the selfish girl you’d come to find out you were, you wanted him to come inside of you.

Pushing at his chest you reached down to pull the toy out, “Inside of me. I want your cock.”

Harry groaned and fumbled with his phone to turn off the vibrating toy and shut the app off. His cock hung heavy and angry as he turned back to you, getting to his knees and swiping his tip into your soaking wet crease, “You like my cock better than the new toy I bought you?”

His grin as he asked was cheeky. His cock was far larger and meatier. And it was attached to him. So of course you liked it more.

“God nothing compares to your cock, Mr. Styles. Now, fuck me.”

Harry shifted his head to the side and squinted at you, “Where are your manners?”

You bucked your hips up and pulled at his shirt, “Please, sir.”

That’s all he needed to hear. He smiled, keeping his eyes on yours as he pushed through your tight little entrance and moaned deeply, “That’s so good. God every time is better than the last,” his words were soft as he pulled back and slowly plunged in.

You couldn’t agree more. Every time you fucked it kept getting better. It was like you two were fusing and morphing into one. Like he knew all your spots and you knew all his. The connection was deep and more than physical. It was everything.

With his hands at your hips, keeping your pussy close to the edge of the couch Harry fucked into you as he kissed you hard. You’d gotten so wet, once again, that even the squeak of the couch couldn’t cover up the sound of your pussy getting fucked.

“Hear that? So juicy for me. You need this don’t you?” Harry pecked kisses down your jaw as he whispered into your skin.

“I need you, Harry. I always need you.”

The delicious rhythm Harry built had your tits bouncing and Harry’s balls swinging but it wasn’t enough. He was struggling with the angle. He pulled out and stood over you, taking your ankles into his hands, and pushed your feet up, pressing your thighs into your chest so you were folded nearly in half with your pussy exposed for him.

The initial plunge of his thick cock through your tight muscle had you whimpering and clawing for something to hold on to.

“Oh fuck!” Harry growled as he drove into you forcefully. The fit was tight and your grip on him, every inch he gave you, had his strong thighs shaking.

You loved it. Loved how thick and wide he felt, loved that he was already whimpering as he pounded you into the couch, loved that your pussy was doing that to him.

“You want my come, baby? Want me to fill you up again?”

You whined and nodded into your knee, which was pressed next to your face with how Harry was holding you down, “Please!”

You heard a moan from him and then felt him press onto your clit as he continued to plunge into you. He was breathing heavily. The angle was work for him. He had one foot on the floor and his other was on your couch as he fucked down into you, grinding himself in with a swivel of his hips every time he buried himself balls deep.

“Yeah? A greedy girl huh?” He panted, “Wants all my come in her tight hole. Wants to be filled up and fucked and bred, yeah?”

You grunted and felt tears roll down your face as you tried to relax into the position to let him completely take control of you and your body. With his fingers on your clit, your body naturally wanted to chase his movements and press into him further but he had you held down so tight you couldn’t move your limbs or your hips properly.

Harry’s cock massaged your inner walls with each tight thrust down into you. You felt every single bit of him filling you over and over again. His breaths were strangled and he began to groan loudly.

Suddenly he let go of your legs and kneed up to you on the couch, positioning himself over you and pulling your thighs over his hips as he rocked into you in a more intimate position so he could see your face and you could see his.

He looked down over you and brought a hand up to your face, “My pretty, baby. God, look at you,” he cooed as he gently placed his palm over your cheek, never ceasing the movements of his hips as he rocked into you.

You moaned, finally able to use your lungs and your voice properly, as you reached up and put your hands onto his face, “Harry, ohhh…” The feel of his pubic bone pressing into your clit at the new angle had you aching to come.

You watched him hover over you, fucking into you slower than he had been before. His face was flushed and you saw the veins in his neck strain as he gasped.

“Come in me. Please give me your come…” Your words came out broken and breathy but he understood you, keeping his eyes on yours.

“I will baby. Gonna give it to you again. Fertile pussy needs my come doesn’t she?”

Nodding you clenched around him and bucked your hips into his, “Yes!”

But Harry wasn’t going to just come like that. You knew he wouldn’t. He always wanted you to get yours first. His languid strokes, deep and meaningful, the drag of his hips into yours so you could feel him against your clit, the eye contact, his dirty words, “Be a good girl and come for me, baby. If you’re good I’ll stuff you full of my come again. Fuck it all into your tummy like you crave.”

You were already gasping and trembling with your heart thudding rapidly in your chest but his words pushed you over the edge. You panted and sucked in a sharp breath as your orgasm took over your limbs. Your head was spinning as you spasmed around his cock while he continued drilling into you with heavy, wet thrusts.

“Shit… just like that, baby. Good girl!” He coughed his words as he worked you through your ecstasy until his balls contracted and he began to come, letting your tight pussy milk him once again, drinking his come in until you were satisfied. Until he was properly drained, stuffed deep inside of you, panting and twitching as he dipped down to kiss you.

You wrapped your arms around him as he gently laid over you, his lips against yours. He smoothed a palm over your thigh and kept himself buried in your guts until you both parted for air and laughed together.

“God Harry… I can’t get enough of you,” you breathed your words, and Harry’s broad grin as he looked down at you was loving and full of something like joy.

“Good. Wouldn’t want you to feel like you’d had enough. I’ll keep giving until you decide you don’t want anymore.”

You tightened your thighs around him and shook your head, “Never gonna happen. Never gonna have enough. Always gonna want more of you.”

His pink lips quirked up on one side as he gazed over your hot face. You were sure you looked like hell. A sweaty mess, with ratty hair and no makeup.

But that wasn’t how Harry saw it. He looked at you and wondered what would have happened in his life if he’d have been born later, or you’d have been born earlier. Could you have fallen in love and started a family and then things would have been easier for you both? He looked at you and saw the prettiest girl, a smart and fun young woman that he was madly in love with, for better or for worse. He looked at your face and he felt nothing but peace and satisfaction when you looked back into his eyes. He hadn’t been so happy in a long time.

You pushed at him and laughed, “What? I look like I live on the streets don’t I?”

Harry shook his head and pressed his lips to yours before looking back down at you again, “No. You look like my love. My heart. Could use a brush, but you’re still gorgeous,” he laughed his words and you pushed at him again before he tackled you with his mouth and made your heart leap with adoration and affection and tender comfort. You couldn’t have been more at peace.

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[roosterforme]

It's Okay, Daddy's Here | Rooster x Reader

Summary: Even after your honeymoon is over, you find yourself needing your husband all the time. One Saturday, when Bradley is out with the guys, you have an itch you just can't scratch by yourself. When he comes home and finds you a desperate, horny mess, he assures that "It's okay, Daddy's here." 

Warnings: Smut and fluff

Length: 2200 words

Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader

This was written to accompany my series Is It Working For You? along with a bunch of my one-shots and other series! (But it can be read on its own) Check my masterlist in my profile for the reading order!

You couldn't understand what had happened to you since you stopped taking your birth control pills, but you'd been insatiable for the last month and a half. The ten day honeymoon you and Bradley had spent in Hawaii had been pure perfection. And now you'd been enjoying your husband as frequently as you could get your hands on him since returning home.

"What do you mean you're going golfing tomorrow morning?" you asked Bradley as you got undressed for bed on Friday night. You paused, naked with his tee shirt in your hands, and gaped at him. "Roo. That'll be hours. And then the guys will want to go out for drinks," you whined. "You won't be here to fuck me."

He groaned and patted his lap before he reached for you. "Tee time at the country club is Javy's Christmas present to all of us, so I agreed to go." You tossed the shirt aside and climbed up onto the bed to straddle his thighs. "But I can cancel, Baby Girl," he grunted, palming your tits as you leaned in closer to kiss him.

"No," you moaned against his mouth. "I don't want Javy to be mad at me. But you better do me so good right now, Roo. Seriously."

"Don't I always?" he growled, flipping you onto your back and running his fingers down along your belly and over your tattoo. "Don't I always take care of you?" 

"I have the best husband," you whispered as his lips connected with your neck. Then his fingers met your clit, and he eased his body weight down on top of you. And it was heavenly. And he fucked you hard into the bed until you came, screeching his name. And then you slept all night long, curled up on his warm chest in a state of satiated bliss. 

But as soon as you woke up to a cold, empty bed late Saturday morning, you flopped onto your back and tried to coax yourself back to sleep once more. But you couldn't. The need was almost immediate as you sat up. The bedding smelled like Bradley, and you knew you needed to go into the other room. 

After you grabbed your glasses and pulled on his soft UVA shirt, you went to make some coffee. But as it brewed, your mind wandered to how good he looked in his white golf pants and polos. You hoped he was wearing that deep blue floral print shirt that hugged his biceps. 

"Good Lord," you gasped, fixing your coffee the way you liked it and walking out onto the back patio with Tramp. But even the chilly December San Diego air couldn't cool you down. Bradley was probably getting all sweaty right now, gripping his nine iron and wearing those soft gloves. 

"Jesus," you whined, pacing around and sipping your hot coffee. "Just chill. You made it through work all week without him." But that wasn't exactly true. On Tuesday, you'd fucked him on your lunch break in the backseat of the Bronco in the parking garage. And on Thursday afternoon, he'd come into your office reeking like jet fuel and fucked you up against your file cabinet.

Tramp looked up at you when you let out a noise close to a whimper. You finished your coffee and went back inside to start packing for the Christmas holidays, but as soon as you opened your underwear drawer, you caught sight of all of your wedding lingerie, and you had to leave the room again. 

A shower. That would help. But you tried hot water and then cold water, and you just ended up with your back pressed against the tile wall, stroking our fingers over your clit. You must be ovulating. That would explain a lot right now. But as you tried to get yourself off, you kept coming up short. 

"No," you whined, dipping your fingers into your own slick before bringing them back up to your clit. When you managed to get the tiniest bit of relief, you finished up in the shower and went to get dressed. 

But you ended up pulling out your vibrators only to glare at them, because they did not look as appealing as Bradley did. "Fuck," you grumbled, tossing them back where they belonged and kicking your drawer closed. 

How much longer could golf possibly take? You'd be fine until you could get the real thing. You could wait.

-----------------------------

Bradley rushed through the eighteenth hole, hoping to get back home to you faster, but the guys weren't having it. 

"Let's hit up the bar," Hangman drawled. "Drinks are on me."

Bradley opened his mouth to protest, but Jake cut him off and said, "And don't even try to use your wife as an excuse, Bradshaw. You and Angel can go a few hours without your hands all over each other. The honeymoon is over."

But it wasn't. It really wasn't. Bradley wanted his hands and mouth on you at the moment so badly, he hoped the honeymoon would never end. 

"Fine," he grumbled. "One drink." But one turned into two, and the jukebox at the Hard Deck was playing Christmas music, and Penny got him to dance with her before he was able to sneak out. He had been gone most of the day.

As he walked back to the Bronco late in the afternoon sunlight, he texted you and let you know he was finally on his way home. Your response was almost instantaneous. 

Baby Girl Bradshaw: Hurry

"Damn," he muttered, starting up the engine and rushing home to get to you. He thought maybe you'd be waiting for him in bed, wearing that little red lingerie set he liked so much, but what he discovered was even better. 

"Holy shit," he muttered as soon as he walked inside the front door. His golf bag clattered to the floor as you turned your head to look over your shoulder at him.

"Roo," you moaned, and it was the neediest, most beautiful thing he had ever heard in his life. And before he knew it, he was palming himself through his white golf pants at the sight of you naked, straddling the arm of the living room couch. Your back was to him as you rubbed your bare pussy up and down the arm, back arched and whining softly. 

He stumbled closer to you, his eyes glued to your ass as you moved in the most appealing way. You were leaving glistening streaks of your slick along the upholstery, and it was so fucking hot. 

"What's going on, Baby Girl?" he managed to ask as you looked back at him again.

"I can't help it," you gasped, your voice bordering on pitiful as you sucked in a deep breath. "I'm so fucking horny, Bradley. I've tried masturbating all day, but nothing feels as good as you do." 

"Oh, Sweetheart," he rasped, unzipping his pants and getting himself ready. "You should have called me."

"Please! I need you. Make it go away."

You were almost in tears now as Bradley put his hands on your hips, helping you rock your soaking wet pussy against the couch. "Shh. Daddy's home now. It's okay, Daddy's here." He stood behind you and kissed your bare shoulder, letting his fingers skim up your belly to stroke the undersides of your breasts. 

"Oh! Your fingers feel so good," you groaned, planting your hands on the back of the couch and rocking your hips a little faster.

"How did you get like this, Baby Girl?" he whispered next to your ear, pressing the front of his body to your back as you rocked your pussy along, trying to find some satisfaction. "You're like a dog in heat," he groaned, squeezing your nipples. 

"I know," you keened, head tossed back to give him access to your neck. "I'm ovulating."

"Oh, hell," he grunted. That was music to Bradley's ears as you bumped his hard cock with your ass every time you rolled your hips. "You need me to fuck you?" he asked softly, licking a stripe up your neck. "You need my cum?"

"Please, Daddy," you begged softly, but he could hear the desperation there. "Fuck me."

Bradley eased away from you and lifted you up a bit by your hips as you whined. "Aww, Sweetheart," he said, stroking his fingers along your ass down to your soaking wet pussy while he admired the wet spot on the couch. "You need me."

You looked back at him and nodded as he palmed your ass up in the air. "I need you, Daddy," you said, your voice breaking with tears in your eyes.

Bradley stroked your soft skin and asked, "Do you know how bad I want you knocked up?"

You nodded again, practically on the verge of tears. "I know it."

Bradley set you down gently on the arm once more, tipping you forward slightly so your clit was rubbing against the wet spot you made. Then he grabbed his cock as you wiggled your ass at him, just begging to have him fill you up. 

"I got you," he promised, rubbing himself through your wetness. "I'll take care of everything."

With one steady thrust, he filled you and bottomed out. A sound of relief escaped you as you moaned, "Daddy." Bradley pulled you snug to him by your hips, and with each fluid thrust, he helped you rock your clit against the couch. 

Bradley kept you going at a steady pace, fucking you nice and slow as he guided you along, praising you for being the perfect wife. "You always look so good for me. With your pretty pussy and that ass on display. You know how much I like coming home to find you ready for me?"

"Tell me," you whispered, starting to clench around him. 

He kissed along your neck as you jerked yourself along a little faster. "I love it when you're waiting for me to fill you up. I love how needy you are."

Bradley knew you were close now, so he let you ride the arm of the couch and bump back along his length while he held himself still for you. And then you were cumming, shaking against his body, reaching back for his hands as you clenched around his cock and sobbed softly. 

"You feel better?" he asked, still fucking you slow and steady. You were like a feral animal that only he was able to tame. 

"So much better," you whispered, turning and licking his bicep. "You're all sweaty, Roo. You smell so good."

"Damn it," Bradley grunted. Now he was starting to feel slightly unhinged over you. His wife needed him so badly around the clock right now. He expected that your body would start to adjust to being off birth control, and this extreme need for him would start to ease up. But for now, he didn't mind one bit. And he wanted to keep you filled up with his cum until it took.  

He slammed into you a little harder as you gazed lovingly at him over your shoulder. "You can do it, Daddy." He reached for your chin, grabbing you and kissing you a little rough. 

"Oh, fuck." Then he was filling you before he collapsed against your back. Bradley ran his hands along your pristine skin, paying extra attention to your tits as he caught his breath. "I can't believe I found you riding the couch like this."

"Nothing would even take the edge off, Bradley. Just you."

He squeezed your tits and ran his nose behind your ear. "I love you. Next time, you call me. I drop everything for you whenever I can. You understand me?"

"Yes." Your voice was soft and calm now, and he could tell you were feeling much better. 

"That's my girl." When he withdrew from your pussy, and his cum leaked out onto the arm of the couch, Bradley whispered, "Don't move."

He dug his phone out of his pocket and took some photos of you turning to look at him with a sweet, fucked out expression on your face and a messy pussy. He knew those images would keep him warm when he was deployed. Then he helped you stand right in front of him, and both of you admired the soiled arm of the couch together.

"Beautiful," Bradley murmured next to your ear, stroking his fingers along your belly and wishing. 

He watched you run your finger through the mess before licking it and turning to kiss him. You traced his lips with your tongue and he tasted himself before you said, "I'll clean up the couch."

"No, you're going to go get in bed like a good girl. And after I clean up out here, I'll be ready to take the edge off for you again. Okay?"

You threw your arms around his neck and hugged him, and then he watched your ass as you headed to bed to wait for him to take care of you again.

--------------------------

Roo always takes care of his wife! Thanks @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls.

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[ladykailitha]

Staking a Claim Part 2

Hello! We get a resolution to the last cliffhanger and add a second less dire cliffhanger.

I will be posting this on Sundays and Tuesdays until it's completed for a total of six parts. Thursdays will be reserved for whatever story I want to update that week. It might be the soulmate AU, the werewolf AU, or even omega AU. Wednesdays are still for WIP Wednesday.

Part 1

***

Steve woke up with a pressing need to throw up. He sat up in a hurry and looked around. He didn’t recognize his surroundings and didn’t know where to go to empty his guts.

Someone thrust a bucket into his hands and he gratefully puked into it. A warm hand rubbed his back and that person began muttering encouraging inanities.

Finally he was able to stop and he looked up to see who his rescuer was.

“Eddie?” he murmured. “What happened?”

“Hey, babe,” Eddie whispered back. “Don’t worry about that right now. I just need you to keep throwing up whatever’s in your stomach, okay?”

Steve blinked at him a moment before he was forced to vomit again. It came out through his nose as well as his mouth. His nose was raw and his throat wrecked. But he couldn’t stop.

Tears ran down his face as he body continued to reject whatever it was that was causing this.

“That’s right, let it all out.”

Again Steve stopped and he looked up at Eddie mournfully. “I hate this.”

Eddie pulled him into his arms and held him tightly. “You think you can make the short walk to the bathroom?”

Steve nodded and went to go set down the bucket but Eddie stopped him.

“You might want to hold on to that just in case.”

Steve looked at Eddie then back at the bucket. He nodded.

“You hold onto your new friend Mr. Bucket,” Eddie said lightly, “and I’ll hold onto you. Okay?”

Steve nodded again and let Eddie help him to the bathroom. Eddie took the bucket and set it in the bathtub. He opened the toilet seat so if Steve needed to throw up, nothing would impede that and went in search of a spare toothbrush. He didn’t think that any of the guys would want Steve touching theirs and he wasn’t about to let him touch his.

“Eureka!” he whisper shouted. “When you feel up to it, you can use this to brush your teeth.”

Steve stared at him blankly like putting anything in his mouth would be a nightmare right then.

Eddie took a deep breath and held it for a moment. “Right, that’s not important at this moment. Got it. Priorities, Munson. Get it together.”

Tears streamed down Steve’s face and he whispered, “I’m sorry. I tend to ruin everything.” And then promptly began throwing up again. He started to shake as the vomiting and the cold got to him.

Eddie walked out and Steve really began to sob.

Then there was a warm blanket placed around his shoulders. “You didn’t ruin anything, Stevie. I promise I’ll tell you all about it when your well enough to hear it, but it wasn’t your fault.”

Steve sobs became hiccups then the hiccups became sniffles and then Eddie looked down to see that he had fallen asleep.

Eddie rocked him back and forth on the cold bathroom floor, trying hard to not fall in love with this man.

*

When Steve woke up a second time, he was in a cramped bathroom, wrapped in a warm blanket and pressed to Eddie’s side.

Eddie must have felt him stir. “Hey, baby. How you feeling?”

Steve buried his face into Eddie’s neck. “Like I’ve been run over. I didn’t think I drank that much to get this hungover.”

Eddie carded his fingers through Steve’s hair. “Do you still feel like you need to throw up?”

Steve lifted his head as he thought about it. “No. I feel like shit, but not like my guts are going turn themselves inside out.”

“Good,” he said. “I’m glad. Why don’t you take a shower and brush your teeth and I’ll set some clothes for you to change into on the toilet seat, okay?”

Steve nodded.

Eddie helped him to his feet and got the water in the shower started for him.

Steve stripped out of his clothes and got into the shower. He closed the curtain and just let the warm water wash over him. He thought hard about what happened last night.

The only thing he remembered was that he had been having a great time and then nothing. He heard the door open and then close quickly. He peeked around the curtain and saw the clothes on the toilet seat as promised.

Steve relaxed with a sigh. He looked around the shower and was surprised to see how neatly organized it all was. But he didn’t want to take anyone’s shampoo or anything so he just rinsed his hair instead. The body wash on the other hand was something he had to use. He opened each one to smell them, not wanting to grab something that would give him a migraine later.

He settled on the third one. It was woody, like pine. But not super strong or fake smelling. He got to work scrubbing himself down.

Once he no longer felt as though he’d been dragged out of hell by his balls he stepped out of the shower and dried off with the big fluffy towel that was on the hamper.

He dressed in the clothes Eddie had set out for him, complete with underwear. They still had the fold lines and wrinkles fresh from the pack. They were black boxers but then Steve couldn’t really see Eddie wearing anything else.

He slid them on and they were warm and comfortable. Next went the warm sweats and then finally the band shirt. He looked at himself in the mirror. He looked and felt like shit. There was nothing for it. He had to go out and face the music.

Or at least Eddie Munson, which as far as Steve was concerned was the same thing.

When he walked out into the main part of the apartment, he could tell it was still early enough that everyone else was in bed, but not so early that it was obscene to be seen awake after a night at the bar.

Steve slid into one of the bar stools at the counter and watched as Eddie made breakfast. Eggs, link sausage, bacon, and hashbrowns.

“That’s a lot,” he murmured. “I’m not sure my stomach is going to appreciate your effort.”

Eddie grinned. “It seems really counter-intuitive, but greasy foods tend fair better on hangovers and upset stomachs. You’d think it’d be the opposite, but nope.”

Steve cocked his head to the side. “Huh, I never would have thought it either.”

“Why don’t you call someone to let them know you’re okay, while I go rouse the boys?” Eddie suggested as he turned all the heat on the stove to low. He nodded to the phone on the wall.

“Robin!” Steve cried. He looked around for a clock for the exact time. “Shit! I was supposed to be at work twenty minutes ago!”

***

Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

@spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @artiststarme @swimmingbirdrunningrock @gregre369 @pyrohonk ​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @chaoticlovingdreamer @maya-custodios-dionach @goodolefashionedloverboi @messrs-weasley @val-from-lawrence @i-must-potato @danili666 @carlyv @rozzieroos @wonderland-girl143-blog @justforthedead89 @emly03 @bookworm0690 @itsall-taken @vecnuthy @bookbinderbitch @redfreckledwolf @littlewildflowerkitten @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @scheodingers-muppet @mira-jadeamethyst @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @genderless-spoon @anne-bennett-cosplayer @irregular-child @lololol-1234 @r0binscript @monsterloverforhire @mugloversonly @live-the-fangirl-life @f0xxyb0xxes @lublix

[steddieas-shegoes]

"Stevie, I am begging you, please don't tell Wayne."

Eddie was bleeding.

He was on the floor and he was bleeding.

Steve was standing in the doorway, shocked into silence, watching Eddie try to put pressure on a wound that should have mostly scarred over by now.

His last checkup had been good, they'd even said the stitches could come out on his next visit, and he could officially start physical therapy.

So why was he fucking bleeding?

"Dammit. Can you grab a wrap from my room?" Eddie asked him, tone entirely too calm.

"Shouldn't I take you to the hospital?" Steve managed to ask.

Eddie's head turned to him, eyes widening as he seemed to realized what was happening.

"No, I- this is kinda normal? It's happened a couple times," he tried to smile, shrug it off.

"A couple of times?! Eds, this isn't normal. They gotta stitch you up better or something, c'mon I can take you," Steve leaned in and tugged on the arm he was using to hold himself up, ready to take his weight and help him out the door.

"No!" Eddie sighed. "We can't."

"I can call Wayne, then, and he can come get you-"

"Stevie, I am begging you, please don't tell Wayne."

Steve froze.

How long had Eddie been hiding how bad this was?

"You haven't even told Wayne? Eds, you should be mostly healed. You were mostly healed at your last visit! What's happening?" Steve was doing his best to stay calm, but calm went out the window when he thought about Eddie being taken from them long after the threat was gone.

"I ripped a stitch a few days ago, so I've just tried to be careful, but sometimes I move wrong. It'll stop bleeding in a minute. It looks worse than it is," his eyes were pleading for Steve to just drop it, let him handle it on his own.

But Steve was not about to let something go wrong, not when it came to Eddie.

"I'm taking you to the hospital. I'm calling Wayne. You can hate me if you want, but I'd rather that than have to tell Dustin that you bled out on your fuckin' bathroom floor." Steve put his hand over Eddie's on his side, applying more pressure. "Can't believe you ripped your stitches and didn't tell anyone."

"I was handling it!"

"Poorly. Handling it poorly."

Eddie huffed, but surprisingly didn't argue further.

He actually stayed quiet for most of the ride to the ER, even kept his gaze lowered when Wayne walked into the room he was being stitched back up in.

He remained silent on the ride home, preferring to ride with Steve while Wayne followed behind in his truck.

He didn't wait for either of them before making his way to his bedroom.

"Thanks for callin'," Wayne said to Steve as he watched Eddie close the front door behind him. "You can head out, I'll stay with him until the kids come by tomorrow."

"If it's alright, I think I'd like to stay," Steve hesitantly replied. "I'll take the couch. Just don't wanna be too far."

Wayne looked him up and down, much like he'd done the first night Steve refused to leave Eddie's side in the hospital.

Whatever he found, he seemed to accept, smiling at Steve.

"Might as well stay in his bed. Gotta keep a close eye on that one," Wayne winked and walked inside without an answer from Steve.

A close eye was really all Steve had intended, but of course, when they woke up tangled together the next morning, his intentions started to shift.

They shifted more when Eddie, half-asleep and on some minor pain meds, pressed a soft kiss to Steve's chest before falling back asleep.

——————————————————————

I could have done anything with this line and I chose dramatics. Happy Tuesday.

ATTENTION: I reached 5! This is 1/5 and the rest will probably be posted throughout today.

[undressrehearsal]

right back where we started

summary: ellie is on tour as the opener for a popular band. she begrudgingly passes through the hometown that she had sworn she would never see again and runs into the one good thing she left behind.

tags: some sad stuff, ellie has daddy issues, mentions of alcohol, modern au, not rockstar ellie but that same kinda genre???, no smut in this one sorry this is all setting the scene, this is another shorter one 3.6k words

a/n: listen. I'm gonna level with yall. life's been fucking insane. it's been what 3 months since I posted something?? and it's because 1. my fiancée and I are buying a house 2. and planning a wedding 3. I work 45 hour weeks (at a job I hate so much omg) 4. I'm writing a book and 5. I'm preparing for a p major surgery (I go on tuesday)

so yeah, life's been insane. but I missed writing fics. I'm writing my book so I never stopped writing but writing a lil fun fic just hits different yk?

anyway enjoy and look forward to a few (I'm thinking 3?) parts of this

love yall. reply and lmk if you wanna be added to my tag list. also I'm posting this on my phone so the formatting might be fucked lmk

part 1

Ellie couldn’t remember the last time she had been in this city.

Well, that wasn’t entirely true. She could remember exactly the last time she had been in this city. She had watched it disappear in her mirror when she had driven her bike west three years ago in search of the horizon. She had hoped she would find something more once she got there - more than the dingy dorm room she had loosely called home and the classes that had made her eyes glaze over; something more than playing at the bar’s open mic nights, her guitar hard to hear over the noisy din of drunk students and drunker professors; something more than a future that had been planned for her by the time she was in high school.

Her dad had kicked her out after she dropped out, of course, but that was fine. She had planned to leave that night anyway; she had kept a packed bag hidden underneath her bed for months. She hadn’t seen him in three years, either, and she planned to keep it that way.

But when she woke up and saw the city outside the bus window, silhouetted against the rising sun, something in her chest rose to her throat and refused to be swallowed back down.

She hadn’t missed it - but as she looked down at her shaking hands, Ellie figured her body must not have gotten that memo.

The band she was traveling with were still sleeping; she could hear the singer snoring in her bunk, could see the bassist's leg sticking out into the aisle. She had never been a morning bird - back at her shitbox apartment, you'd rarely catch her up before noon - but something about being stuck on a bus for days made her restless. It was her first time touring - after three years of playing at open mics and taking small jobs singing at the senior center - and she wasn't used to feeling her own bed constantly shifting beneath her.

Which is how she always ended up pacing the length of the bus, tapping her fingers against her thighs as the confined world around her slept, waiting desperately for the driver to pull off to whatever venue they had booked. She wasn't sure what the band did before their shows in the evenings, but she didn't stick around long enough to ask. Maybe it was rude, but she couldn't force herself to hang out with the band who only chose her because their usual opener had “flaked” on them - which was how they described it when the opener couldn't travel with them for several months after their mother had just died.

So, yeah, Ellie couldn’t find it in herself to feel bad about it when she rushed off the bus as soon as it parked, not even sticking around to let the band know where she was going. They wouldn't care either way. Hell, they were probably so hungover they wouldn't wake up until their show started in several hours.

The driver - his name was Zachary (never Zach) and he was the only one who paid her any mind - helped Ellie hoist her bike down from the rack on the back of the bus. The band had teased her about bringing it, bitching about how it showed she didn't want to hang out with them. She had been tempted to tell them they were right, but she couldn't really risk losing the first real gig she’d gotten. She lifted the seat and dug her helmet out, waving to Zachary as he disappeared back into the bus to get his own well-deserved rest.

The purr of the bike was a familiar comfort beneath her. Lowering the visor of her helmet to block out the sun, she squinted at the streets sprawled before her. She realized, with dizzying familiarity, that she was in the next neighborhood over from her old apartment. Hell, she had watched a few shows at the venue she was playing at - something in her stomach clenched.

Fuck, she needed coffee.

With the wind cold against her bare arms, Ellie let the world fly by, the city waking up around her. Her phone remained snuggly in her bag; she didn't need directions here, the familiar streets leading her down well-worn paths, winding all the way back to a life that was no longer hers.

It was muscle memory that led her back to the coffee shop she had frequented as a student. She looked up at it, a glow around its worn brick from the rising sun, and something tightened in her chest. They had replaced the patio chairs - the old ones had been practically falling apart three years ago - but otherwise it hadn't changed.

Ellie cursed under her breath, swallowing around the foreign lump in her throat, and climbed off her bike. When she took the steps two at a time, it felt like somebody else had taken the wheel. It was a familiar stranger that opened the door.

The smell hit her first. They say that scent has the strongest tie to memory, and the smell of burnt coffee beans hit her like a punch. There had always been a sweetness underneath it, something she had never been able to place but thought might be honey? When she stepped up to the counter, she could even smell the milk they were steaming.

The barista - a young girl with faded pink hair tied up into space buns - looked up from her phone and said, in a voice teetering on the edge between cheerful and bored, “How’s it going?”

Ellie took her in briefly, noting the brown corduroy overalls and the star-shaped nose ring, and was comforted knowing that this place was just as queer as she had left it. She would bet money on the fact that if she peeked over the counter, this girl would be wearing beat up Docs. She was young enough to be a student - probably an English major, if she had to guess.

She always ordered the same thing - iced mocha with oat milk. She had never understood why her dad drank his coffee black.

The barista - her tag said Dianna She/Her/Hers - eyed her as she rang Ellie up, brows quirked. When she smiled, dimples caved her cheeks. “I haven’t seen you around before. Are you a student?”

Ellie fought the urge to groan - this girl was just trying to be friendly (and was probably trying to decide if Ellie’s flannel meant she was gay or was just a bad fashion choice), but the last thing she wanted to do after failing to sleep on a bus and waking up at the ass-crack of dawn was to make small talk.

Still, she smiled and said, “I used to be.”

She paid and stuffed the remainder of her cash into the tip jar. When Dianna thanked her, her cheeks were as pink as her hair. Ellie could feel her eyes lingering on her as she walked away, nodding awkwardly in thanks.

This place really hadn’t changed in three years. The coffee shop had a reputation of students writing all along the walls - over a decade ago, they had simply stopped trying to paint over it, so the walls were littered in signatures and drawings and claims of call this number for a good time. Scattered poetry was written along the edges of the windows, an incredibly detailed Sharpie drawing of a cat peeking over the top of the doorway. When she searched for it, she found that her own scrawled handwriting was still there, small letters where nobody would think to look, right underneath the thermostat: Find me where the sun sets east. Don’t forget me.

She swallowed the lump that threatened to choke her and stepped away. Her eyes stung from sleep deprivation and nothing more.

Ellie scanned the room and found that, to her annoyance, nearly every table was taken. Students huddled around notebooks and laptops, engrossed in their work or else on Netflix to avoid studying. Professors blinked wearily, clutching their own cups of coffee as though they were lifelines holding them to this realm. Ellie could see the spot she had frequented herself - a booth tucked by the window, where she could write her songs in a dingy notebook without anyone looking over her shoulder.

Now, there was a guy with his cheek pressed to the cold surface, snoring lightly.

Ellie jumped when Dianna called her name, holding out a cup so filled with coffee that it trickled over the side and down the glass. Ellie took it gingerly, holding it in careful fingers to not spill any more on the countertop.

Dianna held onto the cup for several seconds longer than necessary, her fingers - cold from the glass - lingering on Ellie's. When a crooked smile pulled at her lips, her brown eyes sparkled. There was a teasing tilt to her voice when she said, “I hope to see you around, Ellie.”

Ellie gave her what she hoped was a friendly smile - judging by the way Dianna’s cheeks bloomed pink, she must have succeeded - before turning away. She almost felt guilty for the relief she felt when she found there was no phone number left on her glass this time. She was never sure whether it was nicer to ghost somebody or to send a gentle rejection through text, and she did not have the energy for that decision.

She turned, searching for an empty seat to slouch in and try not to fall asleep into her coffee, when her eyes found you.

You hadn’t changed a bit.

Well, that wasn’t entirely true either. You had changed - anybody would in three years. You had changed your hair, and now you dressed differently than she remembered - you used to bitch so much about how you couldn’t dress how you wanted, and now, looking at you three years later, she was happy to see that you were finally dressing like all those pictures you had saved in your little Pinterest folder of “outfit inspo.”

Ellie could see the mark of three whole years, but truthfully, you hadn’t changed. You were slouched over a laptop, leaning way too close to the screen, and you still had that pinch between your brows when you concentrated, the one that she used to run her thumb over; she could still feel how soft your skin was beneath her fingers.

She should have ignored you - she should have gone to slump in a corner of the coffee shop like she had planned, trying not to fall asleep into her cup and pretending to not notice you even as her eyes kept cutting across the cafe to find you again. She should have pushed the memories away just like she had pushed away all of the other memories associated with this city - hell, she should have never come back to this city in the first place. There were too many memories here that she had spent three years, a thousand miles, and an ocean of whiskey running away from.

And yet Ellie found her feet carrying her over to your table of their own volition. She walked the tightrope between who she is and who she once was, chasing a memory of the only good thing she left behind.

You didn’t look up at her as she approached. You kept your head bowed over your laptop, your bottom lip stuck between your teeth. There was no reason for you to look up - Ellie could have been any nameless stranger coming to bother you when you were clearly just trying to work.

But Ellie had never been good at leaving well enough alone. Which is why she hesitated for only a moment before reaching out and tapping lightly on your shoulder. She had to bite back a laugh when you jumped, pulling your headphones from your ears and swiveling around to look up at her.

She’d be lying if she said her heart didn’t do an embarrassing acrobatic jump when you met her eyes. And she had always been a terrible liar.

“Hey,” Ellie said, trying her damnedest to keep her voice steady; she only somewhat succeeded. She cleared her throat, lowering her voice when she said, “Remember me?”

Satisfaction bloomed warm in her stomach when your eyes widened, taking in the sight of her. Truthfully, she must’ve looked like shit; she had had to take a disturbingly brief shower at the last rest stop - the water apparently didn’t get any warmer than antarctic - and she hadn’t looked in a mirror for a few days. She had forgotten to pack her brush, so her hair must have been standing up at odd angles. And God knew what the lack of sleep was doing to the ever-growing shadows under her eyes.

But none of this stopped you from running your eyes down her body, cheeks pink when you finally looked up to meet her eyes again. And Ellie couldn’t stop the slow smile that spread across her face, her own cheeks growing warm. It wasn’t intentional when her voice dropped another octave, nearly a murmur when she said, mostly to herself, “Yeah, you remember me.”

“Holy shit, Ellie?” You jumped to your feet, a smile pulling at your lips as you gripped her arm. The familiar shine in your eyes did something funny to her stomach that she was way too stubborn to name. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

“I was just, uh- just passing through town,” she found herself saying, rubbing at the back of her neck. It wasn’t exactly a lie, but explaining to you the actual reason she finally came back to this hell-hole town suddenly seemed daunting. “Wanted to check out some old haunts, I guess.”

And then you just… looked at her, for several long moments - long enough to make Ellie squirm. Your eyes bore into hers, searching for something that she had buried three years ago.

You jumped, and whatever spell that was floating between you broke when your phone buzzed from where it still sat on the table. You scooped it up and flashed an apologetic smile to the glaring student a few seats away. Swiping at the screen, you cursed under your breath:

“Fuck, I have to get to class.” You looked back up at her again, a question behind your eyes, and Ellie had never wished so hard that she could read minds. You hesitated for only a moment before saying, words rushed, “Do you want to walk with me?” Before Ellie could respond, you continued, picking up your cup and fiddling with the straw, “It feels like forever since I’ve seen you and I want to catch up. But you’re probably busy, so you don’t have to-”

“I’d love to,” she cut you off, trying to smother the smile that pulled at her pink cheeks. She failed drastically when you smiled back at her.

After asking for a to-go cup from Dianna - thankfully no number written on the plastic cup either, despite the way the barista eyed Ellie as she left - she followed you out the door and back into the blinding morning sun. The mid-October air bit at her cheeks, creeping under her flannel; the cold coffee in her hand made her fingers sting, but you were already walking away, so she grit her teeth and followed.

And it was like you both just fell back into place, aligning with each other as though that empty space had never existed. You were working towards your graduate degree, Ellie discovered, and were working as a TA to get through; the class you were heading to was the dreaded public speaking class that you taught around your own curriculum. You laughed as you talked about some ridiculous speech a student had recently presented, and Ellie had forgotten just how much she liked the sound until it was burying behind her ribs again.

Ellie didn't tell you exactly why she had come back. When she’d left, you had known she was chasing a dream - it was the main reason she had presented when she broke up with you. The idea of long distance was too hard - too complicated - and Ellie didn’t want anything tying her to this town.

Even so, her body still wanted to fall into old habits. She told you about her roommate and how, when Ellie had been up too late writing a new song or her roommate had had a late shift at the hospital, they would play truth or dare until they were too drunk to stay awake, and her fingers brushed against yours, muscle memory making her reach for you. Ellie told you how she had visited her sister, Sarah, while passing through Houston, and she wanted so badly to lace your fingers together. She wanted to wrap her arm around your waist - hell, she even wanted to grab your ass right where everyone could see, just like she used to. She tucked her free hand in her pocket.

“You still haven’t told me why you came back,” you said, coming to a stop in front of the Communications building - it was just as tall and ominous as Ellie remembered. Her stomach lurched at the site, remembering all the speeches she had to make in her own classes. She supposed Public Speaking wasn’t a useless class now, considering she didn't stutter when she had to speak in front of an audience now.

Ellie shrugged, dropping her cup into a trashcan without looking at you. “Like I said, I’m just passing through-”

“Bullshit,” you said, but there was no malice behind it. You tilted your head to meet her eyes and smiled at her, even as your eyes held something unreadable. “The Ellie I knew couldn’t wait to get out of this shithole - her words, not mine. She wouldn’t simply pass through - she would go out of her way to stay in the next town over. So,” you crossed your arms, “what changed?”

Before, if you had ever crossed your arms at her, Ellie would reach out and gently pull your arms away from your chest, pulling you into an embrace. She wanted nothing more than to pull you into her, instinct unaware of the three years and a thousand miles that had separated you. Instead, she leaned against the wall of the building, the brick biting into her back. “Nothing’s changed. Trust me, if it was up to me, I wouldn't be here.”

For only a second, your face twisted into something unreadable that pulled at Ellie's stomach. But you quickly schooled your expression, tilting your head, your smile soft. “Listen, I have to go - if I'm too late, these fuckers are just gonna try to skip. But we should meet up later - I want to catch up.” When Ellie opened her mouth to say you had been catching up, you continued, “Really catch up. I want you to tell me everything - it's been years, so we have a lot to cover.” You looked at your phone and cursed. “Look, my last class ends at 3:25. Meet me on the green after?” For good measure, you stuck out your bottom lip and added, “Please?”

Ellie had never been good at resisting that look - she had given into you so many times from that look alone. She had to bite back the sudden, stupid smile pulling at her cheeks, so she pressed her lips together and looked away. After three years, you still made her cheeks flush without trying.

“Okay,” was all she could say.

Without warning, you rushed forward, wrapping your arms around her neck briefly. Her hands hovered at your sides, unsure of where to go. Feeling your body pressed against her again - feeling the warm brush of your breath against her neck - short-circuited her brain, leaving her gasping on dry land.

Before she could figure out where to put her fucking hands, you murmured in her ear, “I really did miss you, Els,” and pulled away, just as quickly as you had come. Ellie's mouth hadn't even caught up to her brain by the time you were gone, the door closing softly behind you.

Later, after she had had a proper breakfast from McDonald's, she was still thinking about you. Seeing you again had opened up a bottle that she had sealed away, and the cork wouldn't fit back into it. Her fingers itched with the memory of your skin beneath them. When you had hugged her, she had smelled the shampoo that you apparently still used, and she remembered how it had felt to have your head on her chest, breathing you in as she pressed a kiss to the top of your head. And your lips next to her ear - that opened a whole subcategory of memories that she tried desperately to push away.

She was only here for the night. She lost count of how many times she had to remind herself.

Ellie was stopped at a red light, leaning her bike from one foot to the other, when she felt her phone buzz in her pocket. She glanced at the blinking crosswalk sign - twenty seconds, so she still had plenty of time before the light turned green - before fishing her phone out. She had to squint against the sun, straining to make out the screen. She nearly dropped the phone when she saw the familiar name popping up on her screen, fumbling to open the text.

There was a screenshot of an Instagram post from the venue she was going to play at. The band's name was in bold letters, stars pasted around a grainy picture of the group. And in small letters underneath - like an afterthought - was her name: Ellie Miller.

And underneath, in all caps:

YOU'RE PLAYING AT THE HAWTHORNE?????

Her face flushed all over again. After all these years, you had still kept her number.

tag list: @macaroni676 @ellstronaut @elliewilliamsmiller0 @elliescoolerwife @letsreadsomesins-shallwe @liliflowers-blog @filtered-sunlight

[clockwayswrites]

This isn’t me feeding you all this week.

Timeline Masterpost Wc:1535

“Hey, sorry. Do you have anything that’s good at getting out blood stains?”

Jason blinked sleepily down Danny, who was standing at his door with a pair of jeans and a shirt clutched in his hand.

A hastily bandaged hand.

Jason resigned himself to waking up the rest of the way. “What did you do to yourself?”

The answer was lost as Danny ducked his head down in embarrassment.

“Didn’t quite get that,” Jason drawled.

Danny shuffled, peering up at Jason from under his bangs. “I said I was just trying to cook lunch.”

“Okay Tuesday, get in here.” Jason stepped back to let Danny in. He motioned with a little wave when Danny just blinked back at him.

“Tuesday?”

“Because nothing good ever happens on a Tuesday—”

“You’ve said.”

“—and you are just bad luck.”

“I am— no, okay, that’s fair. Guess my name is Tuesday now,” Danny pondered as he followed Jason into his apartment.

Jason steered Danny over to the kitchen island, sitting him down at it while he went to grab the first aid kit that he kept above the fridge. “How’d you cut your hand?”

“Can of beans.”

“Can of beans,” Jason parroted back dryly. “How’s you cut your hand on a can of beans?”

“I opened it and was fishing out the lid, but part of the side was sharp and it cut my hand, just a little bit, but it made me jolt and then I cut myself on the lid and… yep. Here I am, sitting in your kitchen, bleeding. Which really sucks because I need to get my pants clean since they’re my only pair decent enough to wear in public.”

Jason closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “You only have one pair of jeans?”

“Don’t judge me. It used to be two but there was that Ivy attack last week and it was me or my pants in the fight against the vines.”

“Tuesday…”

Danny’s brow crinkled adorably. “No, it was Wednes- oh, right, nickname. Really living up to it already, aren’t I?”

“You really are,” Jason said. His words were gruff, but he made sure to keep his touch gentle as he took Danny’s hand and started to undo the bandages. “So I’m going to clean and bandage this up properly. Then I’ll throw your cloths in the wash.”

“I was just going to wash them in the tub, I don’t have enough to waste a load on,” Danny protested.

“It’s fine,” Jason said. He wiped away the blood, getting a sense of the cuts under it. Hand wounds were tricky because they were prone to reopening, but it didn’t look too bad. “I’ve got a washer in my unit.”

“Really? I didn’t think they had the hookups.”

Jason gave a little huff of a laugh at that, which caused Danny to give a scowly little pout. “What’s so funny?”

“You’re new here or you’d know I know the owner. It comes with perks.” Jason ran a disinfectant wipe over the cut, shushing Danny soothingly as the other hissed at the burn. “So like I said, I’m going to thrown your clothes in the wash. Then I’m making breakfast—”

“It’s after eleven.”

“I just woke up, it’s breakfast,” Jason said with the firm tone of someone in the nightlife. “And then we’re going shopping because you need more than one pair of pants.”

Danny ducked his head, mumbling again.

“Speak up Tuesday. And hold your hand still,” Jason instructed as he carefully applied the liquid stitches.

“I said I don’t have the money to buy new pants, that’s why I need these clean.”

Jason tilted Danny’s hand, inspecting his work. Just to be safe he added on a few butterfly bandages. “I didn’t ask if you had the money, I told you we’re going shopping.”

“I— what?”

“I’ll buy you the pants, Tuesday.”

“What?! No! No, nope,” Danny explained waving frantically.

Jason’s hand shot out to grab Danny’s wrist before he could undo all of Jason’s hard work. Danny froze under his grip, which Jason made sure to loosen. “Stop moving until I’m done, okay?”

“Okay.”

Jason watched Danny for a moment to make sure he was actually going to listen before nodding and getting to work wrapping the hand. “I’ll buy you the pants and anything else you need. I’ve got the money for it and I’m not exactly doing anything else with it. Call it a house warming present or some shit if you need a reason to accept it.”

“You already brought me cinnamon buns last week,” Danny pointed out in a mumble.

“Naw, now I know how you eat. Those weren’t a house warming present, those were a survival package.”

“I- that’s not! Hey!” The blush Danny was now sporting made the scattering of freckles he had all the more obvious.

Jason just chuckled as he looked over the first aid one more time before releasing Danny’s hand and peeling off his gloves. “Now be a good boy and sit there while I put your stuff in the wash.”

Danny opened his mouth and snapped it closed before he just gave a meek little nod.

Leaving Danny to sit, Jason took the clothing to his washroom. He prepped the clothing, thankful as he often was for Alfred’s special blend of stain remover. He’d check before putting them in dryer, but he was confident that the blood would come out.

Danny was still perched on the barstool when Jason came back to the main room. He was leaning to the side, almost tipping the stool over in his efforts to looking around curiously, but didn’t seem to have moved from his seat. When he spotted Jason he set back up properly. The stool made thunk as it righted; Danny winced.

“Are you good with eggs and toast?” Jason asked as he rounded the island.

“No toast.” The words were surprisingly vehement— enough to make Jason turn to look at Danny in surprise. Danny rubbed at the back of his neck, ducking his head again a little. “Sorry, I just really, really don’t like toast. But eggs sound great.”

Jason hummed, opening his bread box. “Do English muffins get the same hate as toast?”

“Those are… like the Egg McMuffin things, right?”

“Tuesday, you’re killing me here,” Jason said with a sigh. “Yes, if you want a horrible example, they’re like the Egg McMuffin things.”

“They’re fine?”

“Okay.” Jason pulled them out and then moved to the fridge to grab what he would need to whip up a knock off eggs Benedict. “So, what brought you to Gotham?”

He might as well get some information while he cooked.

“What makes you think I’m not from here?”

“Trust me Tuesday, it’s very clear you’re not,” Jason said, glancing over in timeto catch Danny’s pout.

“Fine, I mean, you’re right. I’m here for college. I got a partial scholarship to Gotham U.”

“Good on you. What are you studying?” Jason asked as if he didn’t already know.

“Engineering, which I know, nerd.”

“No shame in that, the world needs nerds.” The bacon hissed as it hit the heating pan. “How are you finding Gotham?”

“Different. This is nothing like where I can from. But it’s not as bad as everyone said it was. I’ve met some really nice people, some of them even keep cooking for me.”

Jason laughed at that. “Yeah? I hear good enough food gets your a mirage proposal.”

“Sorry, that honor is so far limited to bready things. Did you make these muffin things yourself?” Danny teased.

“Not this time. Like my sorta Grandfather says, they’re a faff to make.”

“And whatever you’re doing now isn’t?” Danny said, leaning over the counter to watch as Jason separated an egg.

“This? This is just a hollandaise sauce.”

“Oh, is that all?” Danny deadpanned.

“Shut it— it’s meant to be a ‘minute sauce’,” Jason explained, tossing the shell and washing his hands. “Just an egg yolk, melted butter, lemon juice, and a good whisking.”

“Huh, never had it before,” Danny said, propping his head up on his hands. “No one cooked much at home— other than my mother’s fudge.”

“Why fudge?”

“It was good motivation for my father, basically. I think she uses it to get him to do the… house work she doesn’t want too. Not that anyone really took care of the things that really needed to be done.”

The bitter note to Danny’s voice was a little concerning.

“Well, I can teach you to cook a few basic things.”

“You don’t hav—”

“Think of it as ensuring you don’t burn down the building I live in.”

It would give him a chance to figure out the minor mystery that was Danny Nightingale, even if it was seeming more and more like a case of Tuesday luck.

Danny narrowed his eyes at Jason for a moment before his shoulders drooped. “Sure. I guess at this point it’s clear I need the help and I can’t afford keep living on take-out.”

“I promise, we won’t jump right to hollandaise,” Jason said as he started whisking vigorously. Sometimes his crime boss muscles came in handy for more than punching.

-----

AN: Danny with Hood: grins like a feral beast I'm gonna bite him. Danny with Jason: gets called a ‘good boy’ and blue screens

Jason is despairing over here. He just cannot. So much despair. At least Danny is cute. Eventually I’ll write some actual sugar daddying lol but at least Jason has offered now.

Goon squad (I tried to catch everyone- best place to be sure to be added to the list is to ask on the masterpost! Please make sure you aren’t already on the list though. I’ve also removed all name that wouldn’t link.) @addie-lover-of-stories @bathildaburp @d4ydr34min9 @sometimesthingsfallapart @vythika96 @worthlesswall @aroranorth-west @chrysanthemum9484 @ver-444 @impulsiveasshole @meira-3919 @lazy-bouqet @cryinginthevoid @thegatorsgoose @cutelittlebeanie @blankliferain @ramblingkat @screamingtofillthevoid @themirrorghost @skulld3mort-1fan @may-rbi @nixthenerd @moonlupine @olivethetreebitch @overtherose @roseinbloom02 @v-inari @nappinginhell @imchildish8775 @leftmiraclechaos @mygood-bitch99 @ailithnight @busterkeel @avelnfear @ravenshadow17 @demigraceling-blog @maskygirl55 @sroomheaddoc @undead-essence @desertbogwitch @addie-lover-of-stories @magic-pincushion @phantom-dc @gin2212 @meira-3919 @apointlessbox @hollowgast1 @cutelittlebeanie @friends-fam-fiends-hellothere @serasvictoria02 @dulceringo @mushroom-jack @icedbluesoul @coruscateselene @escelia @firegirl108 @crystalqueertea @booberrylizard @phoenixdemonqueen @shorterthanadverage @pyramaniac @seraphinedemort @fallenangle67 @chaoticchange @soren1830 @trippingovermyfeet @nutcase8691 @themirrorghost @vehan-tikkun-olam-and-stuff @a-salty-sal @guardianrex @dsabian @8-29pm @consouling @jotaroslooseeyebrowhair @smol-book-nerd @help-i-need-a-cool-username @bianca-hooks123 @girlnic @punderfulfandoms @willakk @orbr

[fortunapre]

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒𖧞 16+, swearing, mediocre writing, use of Y/n

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆𖧞 oscar piastri x fem!reader

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓𖧞 (scene ii) 1.7k

𝐀/𝐍𖧞 thanks for reading and sticking with me, as i’m writing this in listening to christmas songs. is that pathetic? ❄️ 𝐏.𝐒 i got the chess idea from Nicole’s interview on the Red Flags Podcast. Honestly, Oscar gives such chess-prodigy vibes.

Go back? (Scene i) click here

𝐖𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐀𝐟𝐟𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐬 𖧞 scene ii 𖧞 (𝐂𝐚𝐛𝐢𝐧 𝐅𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫)

Tuesday, December 11th

I woke up with my pillow on the floor and my blanket halfway off the end of my bed. I was a mess, but last night was easily the best sleep I’d gotten all year.

Last night, after a delicious dinner made by Nicole Piastri, I went straight to my room and cuddled up with a book. Granted, I never got past page 1 because I fell asleep immediately. The heat of my blanket against the cold and the hot tea I had made had me nodding off and slipping into a dream within seconds.

Now that I’m awake, I barely remember falling asleep or the dream I had. As a matter of fact, it took me a few seconds to even remember where I was.

After fixing my bed, I took my half empty cup of tea and walked downstairs to the kitchen to get a new cup but was instead met with a wall of muscle. This made me spill my day-old tea on whoever was in front of me and made me so surprised that I almost fell, if it wasn’t for the arms of said wall, holding me still. Once I gained my balance I looked at who I bumped into, fully ready to start apologizing.

“What, is this your first time with legs? Why do you keep walking into me?” I then realized I’d ran into the one person I was hoping to avoid.

“Shut up, Oscar. You’re the one walking into me. Maybe use your eyes for once.” I retorted, walking past him while shoving his shoulder. Oscar turned around, tongue in his cheek, obviously annoyed. Good.

“Yeah, sure.” He replied, following me into the kitchen. “I guess it’s also my fault I now have peppermint tea all over me, yeah?”

I just then realized the big wet patch on the front of his white tee, clinging to his chest. It took a lot of effort to look away from the outline of his muscles thanks to the shirt now sticking to his abs. Gross, I tried to convince myself.

Once I moved my eyes from his abs to his face I saw his expression. His eyebrows were raised and a smirk played on his lips. I just rolled my eyes and turned towards the sink to rinse out my mug. “Might as well have been your fault, you're the one standing in the middle of the walkway.”

He just rubbed his eyes out of annoyance and opened the fridge, giving up on the argument. I just ignored his presence and began making more tea, the smell of peppermint filling the kitchen.

The parents walked into the main room, all dressed and looking like they were planning on leaving.

“Are you guys going somewhere?” My brother asked from the stairs. Him and my sister looked like they just woke up and stood on the staircase.

“Yeah, me and your mom are heading into town with the Piastris. Did you guys want to come with me?” My dad answered. The twins excitedly ran back upstairs to get dressed, meanwhile I just shook my head, not wanting to go anywhere.

“No,” I answered. “I think I’ll just stay back and read or something.” I smiled at my parents hoping they’d understand.

“Oh, are you sure-” my mom began but Nicole stopped her.

“Oh, let her stay, mate. She’s obviously tired.” Nicole took my side. “Besides, her and Oscar can spend some time together. I doubt he wants to go shopping, huh?”

My eyes widened at this and looked between Oscar and his mom.

“Ok, hon.” my mom said, wrapping a scarf around her shoulders. “We’ll be back in a bit.” But I was still caught on having to stay home with Oscar.

“Wait. I didn’t mean-” I tried, but was interrupted.

“Alright, have fun guys.” Oscar quickly cut me off, with a smile to the group of adults. My eyebrows furrowed at Oscar’s words and his seeming nonchalance at having to stay home with me. I was staring at the side of his face, hoping he’d look at me because what the fuck. The twins raced down to the door in seconds, bundled in winter coats.

As the group left out the door Oscar turned his head and spoke so that only I could hear him. “Relax. The cabin’s big, stay out of my line of vision and we won't have a problem.”

Later that day, the rest were still gone, longer than I had thought. I was in the main room, on the couch, cuddled in a blanket, watching a random show on cable. It was insanely boring and as the couple on screen started making out under mistletoe, I went on my phone. Jeez, how long is this scene? I looked up and the two were still lip-locked.

From behind me, I heard Oscar walk out of his room, downstairs and stop right behind me on the couch. When I looked up he had a grimace on his face, watching the romantic scene on the television.

“What in the world are you watching? Christmas porn?” He joked, looking down at me. I just rolled my eyes at him and grabbed the remote, turning the tv off. “You keep rolling your eyes, they’re gonna get stuck.”

I almost rolled my eyes again but decided against it. “What do you want?” I asked sharply, wanting him to leave. “What happened to ‘stay out of my line of vision’?” I said, craning my neck to look up at him above me. He just smirked and stared at me.

“Nothing,” he finally replied, “I just was bored.”

“Yeah, well. Go be bored somewhere else.”

“You know you have to be around me all month, right?” He walked around the couch and jumped on the couch, stretching his legs over my lap. I shoved him off, making him almost fall off the couch but he caught himself. I looked at him and saw he had changed. Instead of a tea-soaked shirt, he was now sporting a black hoodie and gray sweats. The hoodie sleeves were pushed up, showing his forearms. On top of an outfit change he must have also taken a shower, given his hair was a bit damp, clinging to his forehead.

“Whatever,” I said finally. “It doesn't mean I have to enjoy it.” When he didn’t say anything I looked away from his outfit and to his face. His eyes were on my legs, eyebrows furrowed. Only then did I realize my blanket had moved, showcasing my comfy, yet small, pajama shorts. I warmed at his stare and quickly covered back up with my blanket.

He shook his head like he was trying to shake the image out of his mind. My cheeks were definitely red, but I ignored it, going back to my phone. Minutes later, oscar was still in the same spot and when his silence got unbearable, I looked up from my phone at him.

“Well?” I asked. He broke his gaze from the floor, looking at me. Still, he didn’t say anything.

“Let’s play a game.” he finally spoke. His voice had somehow dropped a bit lower and his eyes were boring into mine. “I’m bored.” He added.

“What?”I was confused. “What game?” I was fully expecting him to answer with a video game or monopoly but he surprised me.

“Chess.”

“Chess? Do you even know how to play?” My eyebrows shot up, as I asked him.

“Of course I know how to play.” His voice was still deep, and he still held his stare. I shivered under his gaze.

“Ok. Let's play.” I answered quieter than I expected. I had no idea what I was about to get myself into.

We sat on the floor, the chess board between us and I left the blanket on the couch, having gotten too warm. Oscar had let me be the white pieces, because ‘I'll need all the help I can get,’ according to him.

As I was about to move the first Pawn, Oscar stopped my hand. Right when he touched my hand to stop my movement, he immediately took it back and ran it through his hair.

“What?” I asked, confused. “I know how to play…”

“Yeah. I know you know how to play it’s just that…” he began. His hair was all messed up from running his hand through it. And damn if it didn’t look good. I never considered it fully, but in the back of my mind, I’ve always been aware of Oscar’s attractiveness. He’s a racing driver, he’s got to stay in shape and all that, so obviously he was… well. He was definitely in shape. And his brown hair and brown eyes were a nice pairing to his sharp jawline. I was in deep thought, mulling over Oscar’s looks, when a hand waved in front of my face.

Oscar was waving his hand in front of my eyes, breaking my trance. Instead of bringing up the fact that I was so obviously checking him out, he just held that god-awful smirk and motioned to the chess board. My cheeks grew warm, yet again.

“Did you hear me at all?” He asked, the corner of his lips tugged upwards, having caught my stare.

I cleared my throat and nodded. “Yeah, you said you wanted to do something else, but didn’t you just say you wanted to play this?” I asked. “We just got it set up, what are you changing your mind about?”

“No. no, no. That’s not what I meant. I meant, like, we should add a twist.” He replied.

“What, like strip-chess,” I teased. His smirk dropped and he grimaced.

“What? No! I meant we should ask the other person a question after every move.” Oscar said, surprising me.

“Um,” I thought about it. Why would he want that? I don’t have anything to ask. I thought to myself about possible questions he would want to ask. “Sure, why not.” He smiled at my agreement and rubbed his hands together like he was getting ready.

“Alright then, Y/N.” he said, “let’s play.”

(SCENE iii) click here!

pinterest-piece 𖧞 𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐟𝐟𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐬 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐬

[jpmarvel90]

Grief

Masterlist Natasha Masterlist

Relationship: Natasha x Reader, Sister Wanda x Sister Reader

Summary: After Clint's death, Natasha falls of the rails and her marriage is at stake.

Word Count: 6554

Y/n’s POV:

When Clint died, it affected everyone in the team. But most of all, it affected his best friend, Nat. After his funeral, Nat started to withdraw from everyone, including me, her wife. Her walls went up and she almost went into self-destruct mode. I barely saw her. She would be out all-night doing God knows what. Most of the mornings when she would eventually come back home, she was drunk or high.

She had stopped working, which was for the best anyway as she wasn’t in the right mind set for it. But work was always her outlet when things got rough for her. I barely saw her and when I did, she would talk to me. I was lucky if I got a good morning or goodbye. She would never tell me where she was or where she was going. At first I would wait up for her, terrified something had happened, then she would come in to bed in the early hours, not even addressing the fact she had been out all night.

Eventually, I would be asleep before she came in and then she would be gone before I woke up. I felt helpless that I couldn’t help her. I would try to get her to open up, but she would just ignore me. We started to argue more, something we had rarely done. If we disagreed, we would always talk about it. Even if we didn’t end up agreeing, it would rarely end up in a fight. Now, it seemed like just saying good morning would get a rise out of her.

The team were worried too, and they had all tried to help her as well. But it was no use. I spent so much time talking to my sister Wanda about how I was worried that she was slipping away. But she would encourage me to be patient and just be there so when she was ready to talk, she knew I was there to listen. But she was becoming nasty and the worst she got, the harder it became.

I would tell myself that she had lost her best friend, the man that saved her life and gave her a second chance to fight for what was right. If I ever lost Wanda, I would be devastated and know that I wouldn’t cope. I was Natasha’s wife. It was my job to be there for her, for better or for worse. But it looked like better was never going to make its way back again.

It was late on a Tuesday evening when Natasha stumbled through the door to our house. The smell of alcohol seeped off her and she looked a mess. When looked closer, I could see lipstick on her neck. I felt my heart constrict at the sight, but I wasn’t going to jump to any conclusions. “Nat, where have you been?” I asked calmly, making way towards her. She just started to giggle. “I wanted a drink.” She slurred out, pushing past me to the stairs.

I followed her and watched as she stumbled around trying to get herself ready for bed. I knew there was no use in talking to her now. She was drunk and probably wouldn’t hear anything I had to say anyway. So, I waited. I sat up in bed and waited until she woke up a few hours later. One thing about Nat was she never got a hangover so was always ready to function the next day. She looked at me surprised when she saw me awake and watching her. I heard her sigh, but we needed to talk. It had been 6 months since Clint died and she was getting worse. I know she is grieving but this isn’t healthy, and I hate not being able to help her. What sort of a wife isn’t able to comfort the person they love?

“Where were you last night?” I asked, keeping my voice calm and low, not wanting to frustrate her. But it didn’t work. “I was just out for a drink.” She said coldly, making her way to the bathroom. “Please Nat, I’m worried about you. I want to help you.” I said trying to contain the emotions. “I don’t need your help Y/n. I’m fine.” She huffed, doing everything to ignore looking in my direction.

“I know you’re hurting, and I can’t begin to imagine how you’re feeling, but you can’t keep doing this. It’s unhealthy.” I said and I could tell she was starting to get angry, but I wasn’t planning on backing down today. “Exactly, you don’t know what I’m feeling so just back the fuck off.” She spat, shoving past me to leave.

I ran down the stairs and blocked the door so she couldn’t leave. “Natasha, I’m your wife. I’m not going to force you to talk to me, but please talk to someone. You need help. I’m worried about you. I don’t know where you go and then you come home drunk and last night you came home with lipstick on you.” I said frustrated, my resolve breaking.

She slammed her keys down on to the counter and walked towards me not breaking eye contact. “I do not need you telling me what to do. Being my wife doesn’t give you some special pass to know everything about me. And the so what, I was having fun last night. Isn’t that a good thing?” She said with an evil smirk on her face. “Fun with someone else is that what you mean?” I ask, almost at a whisper, terrified of her answer.

She paused for a moment before answering. “Yeah, someone who doesn’t badger me at every minute of the day.” She said it so casually, and I felt my heart shatter. She cheated. “I mean that little to you, that you would go and cheat?” I asked. “This just isn’t working anymore Y/n. Neither of us are happy. Let’s just cut our loses whilst we can.” Her words were cold and callous. “Nat, you don’t mean that. We’re married, we’ve been together for 8 years. You’re grieving and if you need space, then I’ll give it to you. But please, this isn’t the end for us.” I argued, tears filling my eyes.

“Well, maybe 8 years was enough. This isn’t the grief talking Y/n. I can’t do this anymore. I think we should break up.” She said, not making eye contact anymore. I felt sick and my legs were shaking. “Break up? You want a divorce?” I asked in shock, and she just nodded. I was speechless. I looked at her and I knew that there was nothing that I could do. I moved away from the door and walked away from her, tears streaming down my face.

When I heard the door close, as she left, I fell to my knees and broke down. I couldn’t believe that the woman that I had fallen in love with could do that to me. Not wanting to stay in this house any longer, I grabbed my bags and filled them with my clothes and anything I wanted to take with me. Which wasn’t much as I didn’t want the memories of this anymore. I locked the door and push my key through the letter box. I packed up my car and made my way to the compound.

I was greeted by Jarvis, and I asked where Tony was. As usual he was in his lab. I was making my way there when Wanda saw me and chased after me, trying to find out what’s wrong. “Y/n/n, please slow down. Have you been crying?” She asked as I ignored her and found Tony. “Y/n what do I owe the pleasu…. Y/n, oh God what’s wrong” He asked, his voice turning to one of concern. “Can I move back in please?” I asked with no emotion to my voice.

Both him and Wanda looked at me confused. “This place will always be your home, but what about Nat?” Tony asked and I felt myself shudder at her name. “She’s asked for a divorce.” I stated and they both gasped. Wanda pulled me into a tight hug. “She’s just grieving Y/n she didn’t mean it.” Tony tried to comfort me, but it was no use. I shook my head. “She said it wasn’t that. She wasn’t happy and she um. She cheated last night.” I shared and I felt Wanda’s grip on my arm tighten. I looked up to see her eyes going red. “I’m going to kill her.” She said but I grabbed her hand.

“No Wanda. It’s not worth it. Clearly, I was stupid to ever believe that she ever truly loved me. I never should have let my walls down.” Wanda’s eyes calmed and she looked at me with pity. “Please don’t put them back up Y/n. I can’t see you like that again.” She pleaded but it was too late. I didn’t plan to let anyone back in. “Tony, could you give me a number of a divorce lawyer? I’d rather get this done and out of the way so we can move on.” I explained.

I noticed his eyes move towards Wanda with concern, but I ignored it. “Sure, I’ll email you the details for when you’re ready.” She offered with a kind smile. I thanked him and made my way to my car to grab my bags. Wanda helped as we unpacked my things in silence. I had never felt so lost and hurt. Wanda could feel the pain I was in, and I could tell it was hurting her to see it. I started to block off my mind, not wanting her to her my thoughts. The first step to building my walls back up.

Third Person POV:

The team were shocked by Natasha’s actions. They barely saw her anymore, but how she so callously broke up with Y/n was something none of them expected. Natasha had never been happier than when she was with Y/n. They all knew she was hurting, but to cheat on Y/n and ask for a divorce was a complete shock. Although they understood that Natasha was grieving, many of them were angry at her.

Y/n had done nothing but be there for Natasha. She had never pushed, and she had taken every argument and insult that Natasha would throw at her in the heat of the argument. She stayed when many people would have left. Instead of working to get better for her wife, she pushed her away and did the one thing that was unforgivable. She broke Y/n’s trust the moment she decided to cheat. The team didn’t recognise Natasha anymore and they didn’t know what to do. They only person they thought that could get through to her was slowly falling into their own pit of depression.

Y/n thought she was being strong by hiding her feelings and focusing back on work. But the team could see past it. They knew she was hurting, and it pained them that they couldn’t help. When Y/n and Wanda joined the team, both of them struggled to settle in. But Y/n found it harder. She had spent more of her life in Hydra, and it took years before she was the fun, caring and loving person that the team grew to know. They were terrified that she was going to fall back to being that broken girl that joined the team 10 years ago.

Everyone was shocked when Y/n got divorce papers so soon. They thought she would give Nat time to realise her mistake, but Y/n was beyond hurt now and was doing everything she could to protect what as left of her heart. Wanda was most worried. Not being able to understand how Y/n was feeling scared her. Even in Hydra when Y/n would block Wanda from her mind, she still spoke to her. But this time she had totally shut herself off.

Y/n threw herself into missions and was nearly always away from the compound. For Fury it was great. Her success rate was high, and she never complained regardless of what the mission was. He started to use the fact that she was hurting to his advantage, which frustrated, Tony, Steve and Wanda. But Y/n passed all evaluations and was will which didn’t really given them a leg to stand on to stop it.

On team missions, it was clear that Y/n was reckless. Not with the safety of others or the success of the mission, but with her own life. On multiple occasions she would come back with some form of injury, but it wouldn’t stop her. Y/n main focus was to get the job done and protect Wanda. The last person that she truly cared for.

She still loved the team, but Wanda had been there her whole life. Y/n would do anything to make sure her sister came home in one piece, regardless of the cost. Wanda was the last person Y/n could lose. She knew she would never come back from that if she did. Y/n would rather die if it meant that Wanda survived.

It was a solo mission that ultimately brought trouble for Y/n. Fury had underestimated the forces that Y/n would go up against and within a few hours, Y/n was missing. Steve was leading comms from the compound and her tracker and comms were down. There was no sign of her. Tony started to do all he could to find her, whilst Steve had to have the difficult conversation with her sister.

He found Wanda in the common room reading when he took a seat next to her. She looked up and instantly her eyes started to gloss over. “Its Y/n isn’t it.” She said before Steve could say anything. He nodded sombrely. “She’s missing. Tony and SHEILD are doing everything they can to find her.” He explained and Wanda broke down. Steve was quick to pull her into his arms to hold her. “I can’t lose her Steve. She’s all I’ve got. I should have done more. She was hurting and I couldn’t help. My own sister. I let her go back to closing herself off and now she’s gone.” Wanda cried into Steve’s shoulder who tried to keep her calm.

“You did everything you could Wanda. Do not blame yourself. No one could have helped her in the state she was in. You being there was what she needed, and you did that. This was just her way of coping.” She consoled. “I’m terrified Steve. My sister can’t be dead.” She sobbed. “Y/n is dead?” both Steve and Wanda’s head shot up, anger filling the witch’s eyes when she saw the source of the voice.

Nat’s POV:

Losing Clint was the hardest thing I’ve had to go through. He was the reason I was able to make a difference and start to clear my ledger. He made a choice to save me and give me a second chance. One that lead to me gaining a family and a job that allowed me to make a difference. He was the reason I met my wife.

I knew I was pushing everyone away, but I couldn’t help it. I could feel the grief consume me and I was angry at everyone. So, I didn’t what I did best, I ran from my feelings. I knew I was hurting Y/n but in my mind, I didn’t care. I knew she would be there for me when I got my shit together. She didn’t push me at the start, and I was grateful for that. But then she would question where I was more, and I didn’t want to talk about it. So, I pushed her even further.

I started to dread coming home and seeing her. Our relationship wasn’t the same anymore. I know it was my fault but in the heat of the moment, I decided I wasn’t prepared to do that anymore. So, I did something I never thought I would do. I broke her trust and then asked for a divorce. I could see her heart break but the grief I was feeling was selfish and I didn’t care. So, I left.

If I had not been so fucking stupid, I would have seen that Y/n had done everything I needed to work through my grief. I was just too stubborn to do what I needed to. I let it consume me and I didn’t care who I hurt along the way. Even if that was my wife. The woman that I adored with all my heart. The woman I would die for. I was an asshole.

I lied to her. I didn’t cheat. Well, I guess technically you could say I did. I kissed another woman, then as it started to go further, I realised what I was doing and stopped it. I couldn’t do that to Y/n, even if I couldn’t see that everything else I was doing was toxic towards her.

After going on a 3-day bender, I found myself at the door of Clint’s old house, knocking. Laura opened the door with a smile which dropped when she saw my state. “Natasha, what are you doing here?” She asked a little shocked. I hadn’t seen her since the funeral. I could face her knowing that Clint was gone. Clearly my subconscious had brought me here. “I uh. I don’t really know.” I told her honestly and she was quick to pull me inside.

She made a pot of coffee and we talked for a while. I apologised for not being around. But she said that she was doing good. She had her good days and her bad, but she was strong for the kids, and they were finally started to heal as they knew that Clint wouldn’t want them to be stuck in a cycle of grief.

Her words hit home with me. If his wife and kids could move on with their grief, why couldn’t I? “Don’t take this the wrong way, but you look awful.” Laura said with a smirk, but worried eyes. “Yeah, I’ve not really been dealing with everything so well.” I explained and she nodded. “So I’ve heard.” She responded and I looked at her confused. “I see the team regularly. Tony told me that you and Y/n aren’t together anymore.” She said and I was shocked that she knew.

“I must say, you’re a fucking idiot.” She said and it shocked me. “What?” I asked confused. “You let go, well pushed away, someone as great as Y/n. I never too you for the cheating type Natasha. I know you’ve been grieving but you were selfish. Grief doesn’t give you a free pass to hurt someone else.” She scolded me and my eyes dropped to my hands in embarrassment. “We weren’t in a good place. We were fighting all the time and it seemed like the right decision.” I defended.

“Well, you’re even more of an idiot than I thought. Y/n was terrified that she was going to lose you. That you’d end up hurt or worse. She did everything that you wanted until it was becoming too much. Then you broke her trust for what? Because she cared too much about you to let you throw away your life as you were doing. You know, Clint didn’t save you for you to fall back to your old habits.” She said sternly. She really wasn’t letting me off the hook here.

“I would do anything to have even one more minute with Clint. Yet you are happy to throw away the one good thing in your life?” She questioned and I could see the hurt in her eyes. “If you want to self-destruct, fine. But breaking someone who worked so hard to build themselves up is unacceptable. Life is short, don’t throw it away.” As she spoke, it was like a movie reel was playing in my head of all the horrible things I had done to Y/n over the last 6 months. Then I saw everything good thing she had ever done for me. I was a coward, and I didn’t know if I’d ever be able to fix what I’ve broken.

I spend the next couple of weeks with Laura. She helped me to get my shit together. Spending time with her and the kids help me to come to terms with losing Clint and finally being in a position I could move on and honour Clint in the way he deserved. I had to make myself better not just for me, but for my wife. I eventually went back home ready to fix things with Y/n. Firstly, I needed to explain to her what really happened that night.

I opened the door to our house, and it struggled to open as there was a pile of post. I picked it all up and was surprised when I saw a key underneath it all. I picked it up and realised it was Y/n’s key. I called out to her, but knew she wasn’t here as her car was gone. I made my way up to our room and saw all of her things were gone. I don’t know what I was expecting. I asked her for a divorce, so of course she wasn’t going to wait for me anymore.

After clearing up a bit, I started making my way through the mail and paused when I got to a large A4 envelope. I opened it and felt my heart complete shatter. It was divorce papers. Fuck, I was too late. I grabbed my keys and made my way to compound. I knew she’d have gone back there to be with Wanda.

Tears were falling down my cheeks the whole way there. I can’t believe that I hurt the one person I love more than life itself. How could I let my grief get to the point I was willing to let her go? When I got to the compound I ran as quickly as I could to find her but was greeted by a sobbing Wanda in the common room. Steve was holding her, and I could tell that he was holding back tears as well.

Then I heard the words that shattered my world. “I’m terrified Steve. My sister can’t be dead.” Wanda sobbed and I couldn’t believe what I had heard. I was speaking before I even knew it. “Y/n is dead?” I asked. They both looked up at me and I could see how angry Wanda was. Her eyes had turned red. She stood up and marched over to me and before I knew it, I was on the floor with a bloodied nose and Wanda stood over me.

Ok I deserved that. Jeeze she packs a hell of a punch. “This is all your fault! You were so selfish that you pushed her to her limit.” Wanda screamed at me. I could hear the pain in her voice. What had happened? Where was Y/n? Was she actually dead? I had all these questions flying around my head, but the words didn’t come out. At my silence, Wanda started to generate an energy ball. I prepared myself for the impact, but it never came.

I looked up and saw Wanda’s hands drop to her side, the energy ball extinguished. She fell to her knees, heart breaking sobs leaving her. I sat up and pulled her towards me. I hated seeing her like this. She fought my comfort but eventually gave in. When she had calmed down, she pulled away, the anger had replaced the sadness that filled her eyes a moment ago. “If anything happens to Y/n, I’ll never forgive you.” She said coldly and walked off.

Steve was looking at me like I’d never seen before. He was disappointed but also hurt. “Steve, where’s Y/n? What is going on?” I asked needing to know what was actually happening. Steve went on to explain what had happened and the guilt was just continuing to grow. “She shut down Nat. It was like she was when she first got here. Her only priorities were missions and protecting Wanda. I know you were grieving, but I never thought you’d ever be able to do what you’ve done to her.” I couldn’t respond to him. I knew exactly what I had done and how unforgivable it was. I just had to hope that Y/n would come back safe to try to fix this.

For the next two weeks we all worked as hard as we could to find Y/n. We attacked numerous Hydra bases in the hopes we’d get more information, but it was useless. The more time that went on the more we realised, it was a high possibility that Hydra didn’t have her and that she had been hurt, or worse, in a fight with them.

Over these weeks, I had slowly been able to gain the others trust back. Wanda still hated me, and I didn’t blame her for that, but we worked well together. We both had the same drive and we understood how the other was feeling. We often would end up in the kitchen late at night talking about what was going on in our heads. “When I lost Pietro, I thought I would never get out of the darkness, but Y/n was there guiding me back to the light. When she started throwing herself into missions, I knew it was only a matter of time before something would happen. I tried everything I could to get to her, but she had shut me out. I failed her.” 

I watched the turmoil on Wanda’s face. I hated that I had caused Y/n to close herself off to the world again. “Wanda, it’s not your fault. I broke her when I promised I never would. She cares for you, and she would hate that you are blaming yourself.” I try to comfort her. She sniffles and nods in acknowledgement. “Why did you do it?” She asked quietly but her eyes were boring into me.

I took a breath. “It’s a shit excuse, but with all the fighting we were doing, I convinced myself that we were coming to an end, and it was best to end it. I was too lost to realise that I was the cause of all the fighting and Y/n was just trying to help. When I came home to find the divorce papers, it felt like my world stopped. I took her for granted thinking that she would always be there no matter how horrible I was.” I explained. I was waiting for another punch or yelling but nothing came.

Wanda looked at me with sad eyes. “Is that why you cheated?” She asked and was quickly shaking my head. “I didn’t cheat. Well not like she thinks. I lied.” I said and I saw a hint of anger in Wanda’s eyes. “You lied about cheating?” She asked clearly not believing me, but I quickly told her to go into my mind and see what really happened that night. When her eyes returned to their normal emerald green she sighed. “I’m terrified that I’m going to lose her, like I lost Clint, but she won’t know that I’m sorry and I truly love her. She’s my light, my life. I can’t live in this world without her.” I started to cry and was shocked when Wanda comforted me.

“You broke her walls down once, maybe you can do it again.” She said calmly. “You really think she’d let me back in?” I asked surprised. “There was one emotion she couldn’t shut off from me the last few weeks, her love for you. It was so strong she couldn’t block it off. That doesn’t mean that she’ll forgive you, but I know she got the papers to protect herself. She thought it would stop the pain, but it didn’t.” She explained and I felt a small bit of hope.

The next morning, I was woken by Steve rushing into my room. “The quinjet is about to land. Y/n is on it.” He said out of breath. I shot out of bed and ran with him to the landing pad. “Do we know how she is?” I asked, wanting to be prepared for what we were about to see. “No, Fury’s team found her but there was no report of her condition.” He shared. We arrived and I stood next to Wanda, taking her hand in mine to give her comfort.

We could hear an argument from the back of the yet. “Y/n, you need to go to the medbay, please just get on the gurney.” We could hear Bruce say frustrated. “I’m fine Bruce, I don’t need a bed. My legs will be able to carry me to the medbay and I’ll let you do what every you need to do.” Hearing her voice was a relief and I could hear Wanda let out a big of a chuckle. As Y/n appeared at the back of jet, I noticed that she was covered in cuts and bruises and her shirt was saturated in blood.

Bruce was walking next to her, helping her as she limped her way over towards us. Wanda was quick to let go of my hand and made her way to Y/n. She was hesitant but still pulled her into a hug. “You scared the shit out of me! Don’t you dare do that again.” She scolded, but Wanda was quick to hug her again. “Here, let me help you.” Steve said, jogging over to help Bruce get Y/n to the medbay.

My heart rate was increasing with every step closer they took. Then our eyes met and for a brief moment it was like I couldn’t breathe. “As if getting shot wasn’t bad enough.” She muttered under her breath, but loud enough that I could hear. I followed as they took her to the medbay and watched as they started to patch her up. Wanda stayed with her whilst the rest of us observed from the waiting area.

Once he was done, Bruce came out to give us an update. “She’s doing good. Bullet wound to her shoulder and abdomen, but both were through and throughs. She did a good job of keeping them clean and stemming the bleeding until she was found. She got some small injuries such as broken ribs, fractured eye socket and a few broken fingers. But they’ll heal over time. She’s lucky.” She explained and we thanked him before making our way into the room. I took my place next to Y/n and couldn’t hold back anymore.

I grabbed her hand between mine. “Thank God you’re ok. I was so scared.” I said through tears. She turned to look at me, but her eyes were empty. Wanda was right, she had closed herself off again. She didn’t respond to me, but she also didn’t take her hand away. “What happened?” Wanda asked from her seat next to Y/n’s bed. “Mission went sideways. I was able to fight them off as best I could before I got hit. Thankfully I was able to get away. But the bleeding was too much so I took shelter in an abandoned hut. I was in and out of consciousness for a while and with no comms I had no way to call for help. Eventually I was found by a hunter and his son. They helped me get in contact with Fury and now I’m here.” She summarised.

Wanda held her hand tighter and ran her hand through Y/n’s hair. “I thought I lost you. Please, you have to be more careful and stop taking so many missions.” She pleaded. We were all surprised when Y/n agreed so easily. The team started to disperse, saying their goodbyes leaving just Wanda, Y/n and me. Wanda looked between us and stood up to leave. “I’ll come back later with some dinner.” She said but Y/n wouldn’t let go of her hand. I could tell they were having a conversation in their minds and obviously Wanda won when Y/n let go of her hand.

I sat in silence for a moment thinking about what to say, but it turns out I didn’t have to. “Have you signed the papers yet?” She asked coldly. Her words were like daggers to my heart. “No, and I don’t plan to.” I responded and she scoffed. “You were the one that wanted a divorce Natasha, just sign them and we can move on.” She retorted, not making eye contact with me once.

I know Y/n more than I know myself. I can always get a pretty good read on her. I thought it would be difficult if she had closed herself off, but I could tell she was in so much physical pain, that she wasn’t able to fight to keep those walls up right now. And I knew she didn’t really want me to sign the papers. She’s trying to protect herself. “I don’t want to move on. I want to make things right with my wife.” I said firmly. “Ex-wife.” She muttered and once again her words hurt. But I deserved it.

“You’re not my ex-wife. We’re not divorced yet and I don’t plan of letting that happen.” I insist. “If you don’t sign them, I’ll go through the courts if I have to. I have grounds for divorce. You cheated on me. My lawyer said that I can proceed with that alone.” She explained and I realised just how much she had done in a short space of time. “Well, I didn’t cheat, your grounds are gone. So how about you just talk to me for a moment before trying to force through a divorce that neither of us want.” I kind of shouted and I saw her flinch slightly.

“Don’t lie Natasha, you’ve already hurt me enough, please just stop.” She said, her voice cracking. “I’m not lying. I did kiss another woman that night. I was drunk and then as she wanted more, I stopped it. I didn’t sleep with her because even in my drunk ass state, I couldn’t do that to you. You don’t know how much I regret even kissing her, let alone then letting you believe that I cheated on you. Wanda read my mind, she can show you that I’m not lying.” I quickly explain hoping she’ll believe me.

“Then why did you say you did? Did you just want to hurt me?” She asked and I hated my response, but I had to be truthful. “At the time yes. I was angry and I thought the only way I could process everything was in my own stupid way. I was frustrated when you would try to help so I just pushed you away and then lied so I could get you to leave me.” I said shamefully, unable to keep eye contact. I could hear her sniffling and it was killing me knowing I was causing her pain all over again.

I then heard shuffling as she started to get out of bed, pulling off the wires attached to her body. “Hey! Where do you think you’re going?” I said jumping out of my seat to push her back into the bed. “I can’t stay here right now. My own wife just admitted that she wanted to hurt me. When all I had ever done was try to help her through her grief. I took every harsh word you ever said to me because I knew you were hurting, and you didn’t mean it. It was more important that I was there for you. But that night, I looked in your eyes and I could tell you did mean it. My wife, my Natasha, would never have treated ANYONE like that regardless of what she was going through.” She was crying and she was angry, and she was right.

I fight with her a little to make sure she stays in her bed. I can’t have her hurt herself anymore. “Please just stay here. You’ll make your injuries worse. If you want, I’ll leave and give you space.” I tried to bargain with her. She huffed and dropped back on the bed, giving a slight hiss in pain. “I don’t want space. I want to stop feeling all this pain. I want to stop feeling like the world is slowly falling from underneath me. I can’t do this until you let me move on. So just sign the god damn papers.” She almost yelled.

I did this too her. I caused this pain and turmoil by being selfish. But I wasn’t going to give up on her. “I’m not signing the papers.” I insisted once again. “I made you a promise on our wedding day that I would fight for us through anything. I broke that promise which I will never forgive myself for. But I still plan on living by that promise now. There is no one else like you in this world. You make me feel whole and without you there is just darkness. I let myself get lost in grief and used it as an excuse to act out. I know that you still love me. I also know that you are trying to protect yourself because you think that I’ll just end up hurting you again. So let me make one more promise to you that I will never break. I will never stop loving you and I will never hurt you again. Just please give me one more chance.”

I’m pleading to her through my own tears and every minute of silence is slowly killing me. I’m losing her, I’ve fucked up and I’m going to lose her. “Please, what can I do to get you to give me one more chance.” I begged. She sighed but looked up at me. “Go to therapy. You need to process what happened with Clint before you can commit to our marriage again. You need to help yourself before you can help me.” She said and I nodded along in agreement. “Anything for you. I’ll get myself sorted and I’ll be the best wife that you deserve. But you need to make me a promise.” I said, hoping I wasn’t crossing a line.

She raised and eyebrow at me but encouraged me to carry one. “Stop closing yourself off and going on dangerous missions to deal with your own pain. Wanda won’t cope if she loses you and I need my funny, caring, and loving wife.” I explained and she looked down to her lap, but she eventually nodded.

I sat on the side of her bed and pulled her towards me and placed a kiss on her head. “We’ll get through this. I’ll make everything up to you and we’ll be back to where we were. Ready for the rest of our lives together and maybe starting that family we talked about.” I said hesitantly, hoping she still wanted the same things that I did. “I love you, Tasha.” Those simple words brought warmth to my heart, and I started to sob into our embrace before responding “I love you too my Angel.”

[allywthsr]

THE SONG OF OUR LOVE | (h. lewis)

summary: a normal day in the Wroetoshaw household

wordcount: 2.1k words

pairing: harrylewis x singer!reader

warnings: none

notes: first imagine! please be nice and comment your thoughts! The song Y/N is writing is : all 4 nothing by lauv :)

On this surprisingly warm Tuesday morning, you woke up at around 9:00 am. Despite having an early studio session, which didn’t start before 11:00 am, you decided to get up early.

Your boyfriend of eight years is still sound asleep on your shared bed.

The cutest little snores came out of his slightly opened mouth.

You looked into the mirror you had put up on the wall, seeing your T-shirt, well, Harry’s T-shirt, an old Sidemen merch you pulled out of the other side of the closet a few days ago. And an old pair of shorts you bought from your favorite shop when you first moved to London.

On your tiptoes, you sneak out of your bedroom trying not to wake up your favorite person.

You had this song idea stuck in your head and you needed to write it down or record it somehow. Thinking of the recording app you had installed on your phone, you went to your home studio, which the boys of your crew had set up for you.

You opened the door and to the left, all of your guitars were hanging on the wall. Yet your favorite guitar was standing next to the fluffy white couch you picked out for this room. Wanting to have a comfy and nice looking space for when you were creative.

The couch was mostly used by your boyfriend Harry when he was lounging on it while listening to your recording or mostly writing melodies and lyrics.

Across from the couch you had your little setup. A table where you placed your monitor, attached to the table is a microphone which you could move around to any position you‘d like, some noise-canceling headphones were placed on top of the microphone, ready to be picked up. And last but not least, the matching white fluffy chair, where you spend hours and hours trying to write the perfect song.

When you woke up, at around 1:00 am, when Harry went to bed after a little work dinner with Callux, Calfreezy, Chip, and Will (which turned into a ’who can down the most Sambuca shots in 10 seconds‘ challenge), you had this song stuck in your head. You just needed to write it down somehow, too scared that you wouldn’t remember it when you went to the actual studio.

You sat down on your couch and picked up the guitar next to you. Getting your phone out, you opened the recording app and pressed play.

You started to play the guitar quietly trying to play the melody you had stuck in your head.

After finding the right tune you started to hum quietly.

”I‘m so in love, I‘m so in love

I don’t ever wanna stop this ride that we’re on

I don’t ever wanna say goodbye

Then all of these nights they would be just for nothing“

Thinking of Harry, you wrote another love song. This boy is stuck in your head and you can’t seem to get him out of there, not that you wanted to.

The thought of saying goodbye to him made your heart clench. After being in a relationship for a bit longer than eight years and knowing each other since primary school, you couldn’t imagine a life without him.

He was your soulmate, and you were his.

You’ve spent so many nights talking, laughing and just enjoying each other’s presence while both of you had a busy day ahead, often oversleeping in the morning and being late to important meetings, these nights couldn’t be for nothing.

”Third of October

We were never sober

First few times that we hung out

But we fell in love somehow“

Third of October, the day that Harry asked you to be his. It was back in Guernsey. You guys went for a walk and that’s where he asked you.

The first time you hung out with him as in ‘I like him more than a friend‘ was at parties. With him being 19 and you 18, you were allowed to legally drink alcohol and both of you did that. A lot. You don’t remember much, but some of your friends took pictures of you that first night you went out together. It was in July 2015 and you came to London for a visit, Harry insisting to go for a ‘few pints‘. The few pints turned into a few shots and before you realized both of you were peppered.

The picture shows you on a bench near a park as Harry clung to you while you were trying to hold your puke in.

Not one of your greatest moments but definitely a key one for your relationship.

After that you started to visit Harry more often in London, always going out to clubs but you guys also had your quiet moments.

Cuddling with a raging hangover after a wild night out. Or playing Mario Kart when you both couldn’t sleep, getting too angry at the other for throwing blue or red shells.

In October he came to Guernsey and that’s where it happened.

”First time that I met you

I didn't have a damn clue

That I love everything about you

Now I can't think of life without you“

The first time you met him was the first day of primary school. You instantly clicked and hit it off perfectly. With playdates, sleepovers, and exploring the island together.

It was clear from the beginning to both of your parents that you would end up together.

You never thought of Harry that way until you turned 16. Suddenly your heart skipped a beat when you saw him, you felt nervous to talk to him and whenever you guys touched, you thought a lightning struck through your body.

Thinking back to that time, brought a smile to your lips, not able to imagine a life without him anymore.

”Eh, did you know that you're my whole heart?

Eh, did you know that I never stop? No

Giving you everything I got 'cause I'm so

I'm so in love, I'm so in love“

You couldn’t believe how lucky you were to have Harry by your side. At this point, if he would leave, you would follow him, because he‘s yours and you’re his.

”and then just repeating the beginning and maybe another verse not sure about that yet“

You told basically yourself so you wouldn’t forget what you wanted to do with the rest of the song.

Just as you were about to press the stop recording button, the door to your studio opened and a very sleepy Harry came through it.

”what are you doing? I woke up and you weren’t by my side anymore“

You let out a laugh, ”I had this song idea stuck in my head since you came home. I needed to record it somehow.“

You put the guitar back onto its stand making sure the app was still recording, as you loved putting little extras of talking at the beginnings or endings of songs.

”Oh really? Can I listen to it?“ Harry came closer to you. You stood up and gave him a hug.

”I wanna record a demo in the studio later and then I can show you,“ Harry not being happy with this answer looked at you with a pout on his lips.

You giggled and kissed his lips, which just looked absolutely delicious this morning, with his beard being a bit longer than usual.

Harry being Harry, tried to deepen the kiss.

”No Harry come on, I have to go to the studio soon and you have meetings and a video shoot later, we don’t have time.“

”I only need five minutes, Y/N please.“

You shake your head and looked at him with your stern look.

Harry let out a sigh.

”Get a girlfriend, they said, it’s going to be fun, they said,“ he looked at you playful.

You slapped his chest, and now it was your turn to pout.

”Harry I‘d love to, but we really have no time. Later, alright? I wanted to ask you something anyway,“ you loosened your arms from the embrace you still shared. ”I wanted to go to Talia later, to talk about recording a song together, do you wanna come? Talia said Simon is going to be there too.“

”Yeah sure,“ he nodded while a grin started to form on his face, ”but if you want to see Mushu, you can just say so, you know. Don’t have to pretend that you want to record with Talia.“

You looked at him offended. You loved Mushu, ever since T and Simon got him, you‘ve been nagging Harry to get a dog. He‘s still refusing, constantly reminding you what happened to Herb. Your argument, that you both were practically kids and weren’t even able to take care of yourself when you got little Herb, does not convince Harry in any way.

”I love my Talia and we‘ve talking about recording music together for ages now. Even thought about making a whole album and just call it ’the sidewomen‘ to get more money, you know using your name and stuff,“ you grinned at him. ”But yeah, Mushu is also a reason I wanna go there,“ now changing into your baby voice, ”I mean have you seen that sweet fluffy face? He’s a furball, how can you not love him?“ A smile appears on your face just at the thought of Mushu and his incredibly soft fur.

”You know, sometimes I‘m scared you will leave me for a dog,“ Harry voiced his concern.

”Maybe you should start barking before I actually do.“

”I love you, Y/N, I really do.“

Your heart forms into a puddle and the pout appears on your lips again.

”I love you too, you’re the sweetest.“

You shared a kiss, as Harry’s hand connected with your right ass cheek, creating a loud slap sound.

”HARRY,“ you let out a shriek.

”I would love you even more if you would finally join me in the bedroom again.“

A grin appears on your face.

”Alright, but we really have no time. Let me just save the recording and then I‘ll come.“

With Harry leaving the room, you turned around and walked to your phone which still lays on the couch, where you left it.

You pressed the button, to stop recording. With a smile you saved it, making sure you could hear Harry and you talking, as you knew what to put at the end of the song you just recorded.

Taking your phone with you, you walked to the bedroom where Harry was waiting for you.

/////////////////////

When you and Harry both returned from the duties you had for the day, it was around 4:00 pm. You’ve been in the studio all day, recording the song you thought of this morning.

And Harry had a recording session with the boys for more Sidemen and Side+.

You’ve been excited all the time you’ve spent in the studio to finally show Harry the new song.

With Harry lounging on the couch, typing away on his phone, as you walked through the door of your living room, you couldn’t wait to be in his arms again.

You threw yourself on top of him. Harry immediately put his arms around you and squeezing you close. With your head propped up on his chest and the perfect view of his face, you couldn’t believe he was yours.

”Hiya“, you smiled at him, looking into his eyes.

”Hey there“, he smiled back at you, as he started to rub his hands up and down your back.

”I have the first demo version of the new song I started on today, you wanna listen to it?“

Before he answered, he moved your legs on both sides of his and sitting up straight, so you sat on his lap.

”What a question, of course Y/N. Show me right now.“

You giggled at his serious expression and pulled out your phone where the producer of the studio saved one of the versions.

”But have in mind, this is only a demo version, it’s not perfect and still a lot is missing.“

”As if I care, just show me.“

You selected the file of the final demo version and clicked play. Turning up the volume a bit more and your voice filled the room.

”I'm so in love…“

After the last chorus was played Harry wanted to start talking, but you only placed your index finger on his lips to shush him.

Harry looked at you confused with a tilted head, curious what’s gonna come after the song was finished and then he heard his own voice.

”You know, sometimes I‘m scared you will leave me for a dog.“

”Maybe you should start barking before I actually do.“

”I love you, Y/N, I really do.“

”I love you too, you’re the sweetest.“

[mintkookiess]

If Only.

Worst mistake to write angst while listening to a sad playlist oh my god I kid you not, I started ugly sobbing during the climax that I needed a quick break before continuing. Don't mind me, just gonna sulk in a corner for a while.

Love,

Mint

Summary: Hanahaki disease. That’s all I’m placing here.

Tags: Miles Morales x reader, Hanahaki disease, angst (no happy ending again), death, don't forget your tissues, not proofread, maybe I'll do it later

Warnings: Major character death, mentions of blood

Your eyes pried open on another normal, already dragging, Tuesday morning. The alarm clock on your bedside table wasn’t even loud enough to wake you, seeing as how you slept through it. You carefully laid to your side, as the all-too-familiar cough climbed up your throat. This went on for a minute until you see a small pile of petals on the floor. 

“Shit…” You muttered to yourself, groggily grabbing the glass of water that you’d already prepared the previous night like always. This was the normal morning routine for you.

Wake up. Cough those stupidly red petals. Get through the day. Cough even more petals. Go home. Sleep. Repeat.

On this particular morning, however, it was quite different because you could hear the voice of your best friend outside your dorm.

“Hey, you awake yet?” Miles asked, knocking softly to make sure he doesn’t wake you if you were still asleep. You always thought that was kind of him. 

You forced yourself up and out of your bed, shoving back the blankets then dragged your feet to open the door. 

“I’m awake. Why are you here? Thought you’d be waiting at the school entrance like usual.” You said huskily, still with that morning voice. Your best friend shook his head, “I kinda woke up a little early today so I thought I’d come to pick you up from your place instead.” 

You couldn’t help but smile. 

He was just too good for you.

“Fine. Let me get changed at least.” You chuckled, before closing the door in his face. You laid your back against it, sliding down to the floor as you felt that familiar ache in your chest.

In just a few seconds, you started hacking once more right then and there.  

Ah, was it because I wasn’t expecting him here this morning?

“H-Hey, you good?” You hear Miles ask from the other side, making you scramble up. “I’m fine Miles just um… choked on my saliva.” You lied. Your hands quickly grab the tiny broom and pan you kept and started sweeping up all the red petals that decorated your floor. 

You then threw every single last one in your already overflowing bin. I’d have to clear that out before he sees it.

You quickly changed into some more decent clothes before grabbing your bag and heading out to see Miles laying against the opposite wall of the door, he gave you a small smile and stood up. “Ready?” 

You nodded in response, making sure to lock your door before you both head down. 

“Oh right, Gwen is actually coming with us to class today if that’s okay,” Miles said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his hair. 

You made it like your life’s mission to ignore Gwen at all costs. It was entirely selfish, but it wasn’t like it really did you any favors with your… disease. Miles had confronted you about this a couple of times, but you just came up with lie after lie. You didn’t want to, because you can’t exactly tell him the true reason. 

Of course, your best friend knew you were lying, but he just didn’t want to pry because it might make you uncomfortable. And you were thankful for that. Until now. 

“Miles—”

“I know I know I just… It was a last-minute thing.” Miles said, trying to reason with you, “It’ll be just this once I swear. I know you’re not exactly a fan of her but, can’t you still try? I mean maybe if you got to know her better—“

“Fine.” You sighed, finally agreeing. 

Doctor Sanchez’s words suddenly echoed in your head like a siren that was loudly warning you. 

“Stop feeding yourself even more hurt. Ignore, lie, and do anything you can to stop. It’ll slow it down, but not much.”

Oh, how you knew. This was practically engraved into your mind, heart, body, and soul. You said this to yourself so many times like an oath. Avoid the hurt. 

But you can’t keep being a bad friend to Miles any more than you already have. 

The both of you continued to walk to the lobby of your school in complete silence. Miles could only bite his lip in nervousness, though he just wanted to ask why you happened to dislike Gwen so much, he just didn’t want to make you mad. His grip on his backpack’s straps only tightens at the thought. 

What is really going on with you? He thought to himself. 

Your eyes stared straight forward as you both reached your destination. It wasn’t long until it spotted the familiar blonde girl from a distance.

Gwen gave a light wave to the two of you as she walked toward where you both were standing. 

“Hey Gwen, what’s up?” Miles greeted, his face lighting up in an instant like some Christmas tree in New York. 

You forced yourself to look away but still got a glimpse of it. 

Why did I agree to this?

Your chest tightened, and you instinctively covered your mouth with a hand. No please, not here. Not right now.

“Um hey…” Gwen cautiously greeted you. She tried to give you a friendly smile to which you only nodded.

Miles could already sense the growing tension and suddenly clapped his hands together. “So, physics class? We gotta bounce or we’d all be marked late.” 

“Yeah, we should go.” You mumbled, walking past them while still covering your mouth as if it would stop the cough that was threatening to let out. 

Gwen and Miles looked at each other worriedly but silently followed behind you. 

You could hear them talk in hushed voices behind you, but your entire focus was on trying to not cough in the school hallways. 

The Hanahaki disease isn’t exactly a secret. Everyone knows what it is. And you’d rather burn in hell than have people find out. Especially him and her.

Your other hand clutched your chest as you tried to walk faster because you wanted to keep a safe distance between you and the other two as much as possible before you practically start vomiting those red petals on the school floors. 

“Is… she okay?” Gwen whispered to Miles with clear concern. She knew you didn’t exactly like her, she wasn’t an idiot. Gwen believes that it’s because she suddenly entered your two-man friend group without warning when in reality, it was so much more than that. 

“Sorry about her…” Miles sighed, his head hung low and a frown decorated his lips. You were his absolute best friend, and to see you being like this with Gwen makes him ache. If only, he could know what was wrong, but he also wanted to respect your space. It has him torn between two cautious choices that could end up in the worst way possible. He just didn’t know how deep the consequences would be. 

Other than the different morning you had, it was just like any other day. You were able to stop yourself from coughing for the most part, but if you couldn’t take it you’d excuse yourself to the bathroom, letting out a few petals in the toilet and flushing them away. 

During lunchtime, it was usually just you and Miles at the cafeteria, but Gwen decided to tag along once again. So you had the utmost pleasure to see the two joke about and discuss things that you never understood because you weren’t a Spider person like them.

You watched as Miles laughed and smiled at everything she said, and all you could do was mindlessly stab your food in hopes of drowning out and forgetting what you're currently witnessing. However, you immediately started coughing. Your hands instantly flew to your mouth to keep the petals in your mouth. 

You gave Miles a panicked look before running out the cafeteria and into the bathroom, immediately vomiting all the petals that had accumulated inside your mouth, and for the rest of lunch, you were stuck there, filling up the toilet with the petals that were such an eye sore to you as hot tears flowed down from your eyes.

Miles had tried to bring it up during the succeeding classes, only for you to turn him down every single time. He finally gave up, but was still worried because he sensed something different about you today. 

Your doctor did prescribe you some suppressants for the disease, but you refused it time and time again. Taking those suppressants would make you slowly lose grip on your feelings for Miles. 

As much as it hurt you, you didn’t want that. 

To hell with those fucking petals, who cares if it’s taking your life little by little every day?  Your love for him was too great, too good of a feeling. It was worth it. 

It’ll be worth it. 

When you asked your doctor how much more time you have left, they didn’t give a direct answer but you knew. You already knew that it wasn’t long. Few months give or take. Maybe even shorter than that.

Once classes were done, you gave Miles your usual goodbye hug before heading out of campus to the hospital for your daily check-up for the Hanahaki disease. 

Your doctor did the usual tests, examining a petal of yours, conducting blood tests, scans, etc. 

After an hour, she called you back into her office for the results. You were halfway into taking your seat as she already shoots the question that you’d been dreading to be asked. 

“Have you been taking your suppressants?” 

In truth, you didn’t tell her that the pills were just laying on the floor somewhere in your dorm. You weren’t going to be lectured by your doctor. 

“Yes.” You lied, eyes looking everywhere in her office but her. Your eyes focused on this particular vase, where a single flower laid there. It was the same shade of red as yours, making you chuckle.

Before your doctor could start telling you about how important commitment was to the treatment, you start wheezing. 

But this time, it felt different. 

Your lungs felt like they ran out of air, your throat was like it had been clogged and you couldn’t breathe. Your eyes widened as you took sharp inhales, but for some reason, you couldn’t exhale at all. You fell off your chair and into the floor, gripping your throat, nails digging to scratch your skin from the excruciating pain. 

Doctor Sanchez was quick to get down to you, rubbing your back as her face filled with worry. “It’s at its final stage, you have to tell him—“

“No!” You yelled, surprised that you were even able to utter a single word. Shortly after that however, you were back to heaving. Your hand was now in a fist, punching your chest in an attempt to get out whatever it was that was in your lungs. 

Your mind started to fog up, and your vision was slowly going black until you saw it. 

The fully formed flowers on the ground. 

There were no petals, this time they were fully bloomed roses. 

They were so pretty that it was almost laughable. Something beautiful was stemming from your despair and suffering. At least there was one thing good happening from your godforsaken disease. 

Miles, on the other hand, barged into your dorm to bring the textbooks he borrowed from you, or at least that’s what his excuse was gonna be to you. It was your number one rule that he shouldn’t just come into your room when you were gone, but he could sense something off with you today. Much more than usual. And he was determined to find out.

He had an extra key for emergencies, so he entered without any problems. He took in your room, setting down the textbooks on your desk as he took a seat by the edge of your bed. 

She’s not here. He thought to himself, sighing. 

As his brown eyes roamed the different bits and bobs around your dorm, he suddenly spotted something behind your desk. Miles squinted his eyes, wondering what it was. “Is that… a petal?” He wondered out loud. He crept up to it, crawling under your desk to grab the petal. “What the…” His fingers examined it carefully until he spotted something from the corner of his eye. There were more. 

A lot more.

His eyes slowly widened at the bin of red petals. It was so full that the petals had dissipated around it on the floor. Miles’ eyebrows scrunched up together, wondering where all these could be from until… it dawned on him. 

“Hanahaki? But… but how I…” He stuttered. He pulled the bin towards him with shaking hands, inspecting the petals that had a rich shade of red. Almost similar to that of his Spiderman suit. 

She… She had this all along and hid it from me I…

He spots another item, it was a pill bottle. Except its contents were scattered, and the bottle itself was cracked as if it was thrown against the wall and fell behind your desk. 

Miles picked it up, dreading to see what it was. He slowly turned it around to see the words “Hanahaki suppressants - Y/n L/n 30 pills 150 mg” written in big bold letters that stared back at him.

He drops it out of shock, chest heaving and breaths coming in quickly. 

He was confused, so confused about everything. Why would you hide such a thing from him…? 

Doctor Sanchez called for emergency assistance, she grabbed the intercom in a panic. “Code blue! I repeat code blue! Medical assistance to room 1304 now! Code blue!” 

In a matter of seconds, doctors and nurses have already carried your body to a hospital bed, as roses continuously shook out of your mouth.

Your entire body was flaring up and all you could do was scratch your neck so hard that it almost draws blood. Your nose and ears have started to bleed out, and it was as if your skull was being cut open and stabbed repeatedly.

You couldn’t even form words as the nurses continued to push you into room 1304 for emergency treatment. The people at the hospital looked over in pity and nervousness as they watched the girl with the Hanahaki disease being pushed across the hallway as roses start to flood after her bed like a trail. 

Even if it felt like the pain was eating your entire body alive, all you could think of was him. 

Please, I need to see him. Even for just one more second, please.

But Miles doesn’t even know anything about this, and it just increases your already large amount of regret. 

I should’ve told him. Even though I know he doesn’t like me back, I should’ve told him. 

He’s my best friend. And I can't even say goodbye.

But maybe this was for the best. I wouldn't want him to see me in such a pathetic state.

Miles was quick to suit up, flinging himself out of your window in a matter of miliseconds. He didn’t know where to find you, and all he could do was rack his brain on the places that you could be in. As he continuously swung around the city, tears formed in his eyes behind his mask.

He was angry. So angry at himself for not noticing. Furious at the fact that he already knew something has been off with you for the past months, but he didn’t try hard enough to know what it was. He was mad because he just let you suffer alone. 

Some friend I am. He thought on repeat. 

He tried to use his senses to see if he could pinpoint your location, running and swinging between endless crowds and roads, because something felt terribly wrong. 

Miles didn’t know what exactly it was, but he knew. 

He had to hurry.

“Time of death… 5:47 pm.” Your doctor read from the monitor in a monotone voice. She wrote down the information with trembling hands. Her eyes crept up to see you on the hospital bed, frozen and still.

The static sound of the heart monitor was so deafening and seemed louder than it normally was. There was a heavy silence in the hospital’s emergency area as everyone present stood still. 

Another poor youthful soul had been taken by such a cruel disease.

Suddenly, the door banged open, and there stood Miles who was breathing heavily as he tried to catch his breath. 

His brown eyes spotted you and it was as if time had stopped running, as if the world around him disappeared just like that. 

Miles slowly took in the sight before him, your doctor who stood by the edge of your bed with a deep frown, you who was laying still, eyes closed. He also tried to process the flowers that filled up the entire floor of the room. These were roses, but he knew their petals. 

“I believe you are him?” Doctor Sanchez asked with a poor attempt at a professional tone. Miles’ mouth was still agape in shock, his mind refusing to process what he was seeing as he slowly looked at her. “Wh-What?” The doctor sighed, hugging her clipboard to her chest. “You’re her unrequited love, yes? You’re Miles Morales?”

The poor boy couldn’t muster a single word right now, so all he could do was slightly nod at her. “Time of death was 5:47, the cause is… Hanahaki.” She reported with an aching heart as she sees Miles’ expression. 

“I… I never knew until I saw the…” Miles couldn’t even bring himself to say it, that maybe if he didn’t then all of this wouldn’t be true. He took slow steps towards you, each one being heavier than the last as if they weighed a thousand pounds.

It felt as if his heart stopped beating, and his body no longer functioned as he stared down at you. His quivering fingers tried to grab your hand, only to find that it was cold… Too cold…

Right at that second, tears had already started to stream down his cheeks silently. Miles bit his lip hard as he started to harden his grip on your hand. He placed it between both his hands and he rubbed violently.

Maybe if he did so, he’d be able to bring back some warmth into your body. Maybe he’d feel that familiar tingling sensation that he always felt when both your hands would touch. He was silently praying that it was a prank, that he’d feel your fingers wrap around his, and that you’d tell him you were fine. 

But it never came. 

Your chest wasn’t rising up and down, there seemed to be no more color in your face, no more life. Your lips have turned a faint blue as dried blood surrounded your nose and ears. 

He refused to think of what this meant. He wasn’t going to believe it. He… He just can’t. 

“But I… I love her too.” Miles hiccuped between tears. He felt his legs give out, making him fall to his knees but the flowers had cushioned him from hitting the floor. Even in this state, you manage to keep him from feeling pain.

Doctor Sanchez’s breath hitched in her throat and she couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. “She thought you liked someone else. She didn’t want you to worry so she hid it I… I’ve tried to tell her that she should confess, to tell you how she felt but she… she was dead set on thinking that… she was never enough for you.” After one last breath, she walked towards the door. “I’ll… give you some privacy.”

Once the door closed behind him, Miles weakly stood up and that’s when it started. He let out the most painful cry so loud that everyone outside the room could hear. 

His hands gripped his hair, pulling at it vigorously as he continued to bawl his heart out in agony. 

The truth was, he loves you more than anyone in this entire world. He loves you with every fucking fiber of his being, with every cell in his body. All of it was yours, every heartbeat of his was dedicated to you. You were a major part of why he wanted to keep being Spiderman, so he could protect you. 

So he could shield you away from any harm or danger. 

And yet, he still couldn’t save you. 

He started to feel suffocated as he punched the floor with his fists, almost cracking it in the process. 

He was so goddamn furious at himself. 

He felt like the biggest fucking coward in the entire universe. 

If only, if only he had mustered even the slightest of courage to tell you of how he felt, then this wouldn't have happened. You'd still be alive. 

Miles was now wailing in anger and pain that he couldn’t even begin to describe. 

The realization has finally started to kick in. 

He had lost you. 

You suffered alone because you thought your love for him was unrequited and would never have been returned. 

You didn’t believe in the possibility. But oh how wrong you were.

You didn't see the passion, love, and admiration in his eyes whenever he looked at you. You failed to notice the little things he did for you, like remembering your favorite things, or bringing you to your favorite places.

How he would pluck flowers from the school garden and gave it to you, or maybe even the times where he'd let you copy his answers on a test.

You just thought he was such a good friend.

If only… If only the both of you have tried a bit harder. Maybe then, it didn’t have to end this way.

Fin.

More of my Miles content here babes!

(if yall wanna be on my taglist feel free to let me know!)

[clarisse0o]

Camp Wiegman-Part 12

Lucy Bronze x Ona Batlle

Alternative Universe : Military School

Word : 6k

Masterlist

———————————————————————

Tuesday, November 3; 6:15 AM - Ona and Alexia's room.

I stand straight as a rod beside my bed. Bronze has just entered. I’m glad I haven’t lost my morning routine. I didn’t face any difficulty except that waking up was hard and abrupt due to the alarm. Luckily, my day of rest yesterday helped me recover and find motivation again. The disagreement with Bronze was quickly forgotten. I woke up alone. She had let me sleep while she went back to work. I found out when she returned just before noon to have lunch with Engen and me. She wanted us to eat before the midday bell. At least she spared me the rush hour. After that, she allowed me to stay in her room for the rest of the day as long as I didn't venture out. I promised it wasn’t my intention. I once risked it, and it didn’t end well for me. I just wanted to keep busy with movies, which I did until dinner time. I had to stop to eat with the two instructors, as agreed with Bronze. It was hard to change her mind. I was disappointed to end the day by returning to my room. I enjoyed hiding in her room. It had become my den, isolating me from the world. Needless to say, I was worried about reintegrating with the students. Bronze accompanied me to discreetly help me bring back my things. All it took was stepping into my room for any unease to vanish, thanks to Alexia. She welcomed me like a little whirlwind, not wanting to let go. It seems she eagerly awaited my return. Bronze had kept her updated regularly, but it didn’t stop her from worrying and missing me. Today, I return to the real world. Classes resume at eight. I have a knot in my stomach just thinking about it. I still don’t feel ready to return, but I have no choice. I show no signs of distress and patiently wait for Bronze to finish her inspection. It’s almost strange seeing her so impassive and expressionless again. It wasn’t like that in her room.

You can go.

Alexia doesn’t hesitate to head to the exit. I follow, but Bronze stops me by holding my arm. I turn to face her.

How are you feeling?

Better... No more fever, no nausea. I don't have much muscle pain either... I replied.

So, are you ready?

Uh-huh. I don't have a choice anyway.

Good.

I look at her attentively, squinting slightly. She’s not like usual. I don’t know what’s different, but something seems off. There’s only one way to find out...

So, how’s my work after a week? Is it done properly, Commander? I teased.

The princess finally follows the rules; that’s good, she retorts without a hint of humor.

I frown. That’s not the response I expected. I thought she’d play along. I examine her more closely. Now that I pay attention, her eyes seem swollen. And she has visible dark circles.

Are you okay?

We recently had a discussion about friendship, Batlle. It didn’t end well, so stop trying to be friendly and go eat, she orders.

She’s clearly not herself. It’s been a long time since she called me by my last name. And for such a small matter. It’s not like I asked a personal question. She’s not well, and I can’t do anything about it. I let her go, feeling powerless. I stare at the door for a moment, completely frustrated. She just brushed me off.

Ona, you coming?

I pull myself together at my roommate's call. I expected her to be gone already. Well, whatever. Bronze is right after all. She’s not my friend. It’s not my place to worry about her, even though I do and would have liked to be there for her.

Yeah, sorry. I'm coming, I say, returning her smile.

Our relationship has evolved since she learned I’m a former junkie. I feel I can trust her. I’ve grown attached to her. She seems to feel the same. She keeps saying we need to make up for the lost time of this past week.

What did Bronze want? she asks.

Just checking if everything’s okay, I shrug. She’s just doing her job.

I see.

She smiles at me in a way I can’t quite describe. I don’t dwell on it. I’m eager to get to the cafeteria. I’ll see the others, and my appetite is back. This will be my first breakfast after a long week of abstaining. I intend to savor it. When we reach the table, everyone is happy to see me. They ask if I’m feeling better. It seems no one knows about my withdrawal except Alexia and Leah. Wiegman and the four educators in charge must have covered it up as a flu absence. At least I’m spared the cliché stories about my past and pitying looks. Everything goes well this new morning. I just have a lot of questions about Bronze, who completely ignored me when she passed our table. I hope it’s not my fault. I don’t see what I did wrong, except for that conversation the other night. She didn’t seem resentful yesterday. Amidst all this, time flies. It’s almost time to return to class. We walk through the hallways to our first lesson.

I’ll join you, I tell Alexia. I need to use the restroom.

As you wish, but hurry up. It’s almost time.

Yeah, I’ll be quick.

I leave her to enter the nearest restroom. I need to gather my thoughts for the start of this morning. I first use a stall, then wash my hands. I take the opportunity to splash water on my face. Why am I in such a state over something so minor? I feel weird, like I have a bad premonition. Damn responsible person. She annoys me by making me question so much. I hit the counter in frustration. I wipe my face and leave the restroom. I sigh, seeing the empty hallways. Great, now I’m late. Perfect for a return. I walk slowly and heavily toward my classroom. A few minutes won’t make a difference since I know I won’t be allowed in anyway. When I reach the door, I knock. It opens shortly after.

Miss Batlle makes her grand return and in style, the teacher remarks right away. You start well after more than a week of absence.

Sorry for being late.

Save your pretty words and go to the instructors’ office, will you?

Of course. I know the way! I retorted sarcastically.

What did I say? I wouldn’t be accepted. I reverse course to the office of Bronze and Engen, which I know very well. I had to do archiving with Bronze there on my first day before moving boxes upstairs. I knock on the already open door to announce my presence. It’s a large space where two desks face each other. There are several filing cabinets. Nothing exceptional. There are more than one such room on the first floor. Six to be exact. One for each instructor pair. Naturally, I’m assigned to my responsible person’s. I enter the room, and Engen looks up to greet me. She’s alone, which is strange. Bronze should be here.

Batlle, she calls, surprised. Already on the first day? What brings you here this time?

Late, I grumble, sitting on the chair in front of her desk.

Late? I saw you in the halls earlier. Did I allow you to sit?

Urgent need, I half-lied. I’m not standing until Bronze arrives. Especially since I just got back.

Bronze won’t be here today. I’ll handle you for the day.

What? I blurted out in surprise.

Is that a problem?

Now this is the last straw! She raises her head from her paper, arching an eyebrow. She’s not the problem. It’s Bronze’s absence. It’s a first! She’s never missed a day since I arrived.

Okay, what’s wrong with her? Is it me?

Excuse me? she frowns. What are you talking about?

Why is she absent?

She’s entitled to a day off, isn’t she? Especially after the week she had because of you. And why am I even telling you this? It’s none of your business.

I noticed she wasn’t well this morning...

I lower my head, feeling uneasy under Engen’s scrutiny. I have regrets and don’t even know why. Maybe I spoke too much when I hear her chuckle. I must look ridiculous. I bury my head in my collar, not daring to look at her.

I don’t know which of you two worries more about the other, she murmurs.

What?

Did I hear right? Bronze worries about me? Why would she? She was asking me to keep my distance this morning... So, she talks about me to Engen. This thought warms my heart.

It has nothing to do with you, Batlle. She just has a day off to rest from her week, she explains. Anyway, that’s the end of it. How many hours are you missing due to your refusal?

Two.

Well... she murmurs, thinking. Since she’s absent and she fell behind because of you... You have two hours to sort and alphabetize Bronze’s files, she says, pointing to my responsible person’s desk.

Bronze is more original with punishments.

Stop arguing, Batlle, and get to work.

Just as friendly as Bronze... I sigh and change places, settling into my manager's office chair. Engen looks at me strangely before a sly smile stretches across her lips. She doesn't ask me to move, surprisingly. She continues her work while I focus on the task she assigned me. I don't even know where to start given the number of files scattered on the desk. I don't ask for help and try to do my work without flinching. This place is literally changing me. Just a few days ago, I would never have accepted a punishment without complaining.

Tuesday, November 3; 6:45 PM - Cafeteria

I sit down at my seat, placing my tray on the table. My first instinct is to look at Bronze's table on the educators' side. She wasn't there all day. I know because I was late again this afternoon. Engen had to take care of me. I like her a lot, but Bronze is irreplaceable when it comes to creative punishments. I straighten up in my chair when I finally see her. She's there, at her table, with Engen! We are directly across from each other. It feels like our spots were meant to be. She talks to her colleague without acknowledging me. I hope Engen doesn't say anything. She noticed my remorse because she assured me all day that I had nothing to worry about. I let go, realizing I won't get any sign from her, and try to follow the conversation happening around the table.

"Seriously, it's you?" says Alba.

"You're really in trouble, girl ! They're looking for the culprit, and it looks bad according to the rumors!" adds Lotte.

"I don't care at all," says the one in question, who is none other than Leah.

"What did you do this time?" I ask, getting to the point.

"Oh, nothing very interesting. I just tagged the sign and the walls of the establishment."

"What!?"

"It's not just laps around the field you'll get this time," laughs Alexia. "What are you playing at, seriously? Are you trying to compete with Ona for the number of punishments or what?"

Without thinking, I stand up from my chair under the incomprehensible eyes of my friends. It's my only chance. Too bad if I regret it later. Hopefully, I won't feel bad in the meantime. I walk to the educators' area. I find myself between the two instructors and stare directly into Bronze's eyes. I know Engen is also looking at me, but she's not the one I'm interested in.

"It was me," I blurt out into the void.

"It was you what, Batlle?" Engen intervenes.

"The tags. I did them."

"What the—"

Bronze raised her hand to signal her colleague to be quiet. For the first time since this morning, her eyes land on me. Her green irises pierce through me, giving me goosebumps.

"Really?" she finally asks. "I leave you alone for one day, and you manage to do something like this? Why come forward only now?"

"To take responsibility for my actions. It would be stupid for someone else to face the consequences in my place," I respond confidently.

She looks me up and down. I really don't know if I made the right choice by accusing myself without reason. One thing is certain: it was the only way to get her attention.

"Very well. Go clear your tray," she orders. "I'll deal with you tonight, no matter what state you're in. And you won't even be able to complain tomorrow morning when you wake up."

I manage a smile. My plan worked! My God, it worked! I nod and backtrack to my table. I almost trot with impatience. I'm met with confused looks from everyone at the table.

"What just happened?" asks Alba.

"I pleaded Leah's case by accusing myself."

"What?!" Leah reacts. "But why did you do that? Besides, you're not even really in a state to—"

"Don't worry about it," I cut her off. "Be glad you won't get punished!"

I reassure her ass he knows about my situation regarding the withdrawal. I feel good for a first day, so it should be fine. I think I'm the only person who is eager to get a punishment from Commander Bronze.

"Later, guys."

I go to clear my tray where Bronze is already waiting at the end of the line. I feel her eyes on me the whole time; it's unsettling. Once I'm done, she turns her back to head towards the exit. I follow her without thinking. I take advantage of the silence to observe her. I'm glad to see she has regained her color since this morning. We pass by my room where she orders me to put on sportswear. The commander is back, and I'm almost happy about it. I hurry to change, and we head to the gym. I bite my lip to avoid complaining. I asked for this. It will help me get my muscles working again after lying in bed for a week. Leah will really owe me one for taking the blame for her! We wander through the corridors of the establishment, which are almost unfamiliar to me. I haven't had many sports classes as Bronze often punished me at the same time. We stop in front of a large door that she opens. She pushes me to discover the room. I take a step back, not seeing anything in the darkness. She prevents me from fleeing with an arm around my back and pushes me inside. I'm quickly trapped with her in the room. She turns on the lights to reveal the setting, leaving me speechless. My God, tell me I'm dreaming. We are in the climbing room. What is her goal? I turn to gauge my instructor. She smiles with a raised eyebrow.

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah. We're starting with this, and then we'll see."

Oh my God... I feel dizzy. I hate climbing. I look at the top. It's really high. There must be at least ten meters of height there!

"What do I have to do?" I ask to be sure.

"It's obvious, Ona. You're going to climb up there," she says, pointing to the top of the wall.

"Are you kidding me?!"

"Do I look like I'm joking?" she retorts. "Stop talking to complain, or I'll have worse in store for you later! You'll do the one at the back. I'll belay you."

"Belay me?"

"Yes, I'll hold you with a rope. I could very well let you climb alone, so be glad."

"Bronze... I can't... I'm afraid of heights," I admit.

"Not my problem," she says indifferently. "You should have thought about that before. Here, take this."

My throat tightens when she hands me a harness. She really has no pity. I imitate her and reluctantly put on the harness. We move to the back of the room to reach the last route. Damn... What mess have I gotten myself into this time? I'll never make it. I'm really afraid of heights and not just a little! Just being on a chair already scares me. I inspect the wall in front of me, covered in numerous holds. Just imagining myself up there makes me dizzy. I look to my left to see an insurmountable wall named Bronze.

"Sorry, but I really can't..."

"It's not negotiable, you should know that. Just don't look down and trust me. Come here."

She ties the loop of my harness with the route's rope. She does it with such ease. I can no longer escape. She gives it a sharp tug to check the knot's solidity. I'm starting to panic. Bronze seems so comfortable with any sport, but that's not my case. She finally takes the other end of the rope to attach it to a metal loop she ties to her harness.

"There, we're ready. You can start. I gave you the easiest route. The holds are big and easy to reach. »

I sigh as I face the climbing wall. The last time I climbed was back in high school, and I was far from being any good. I start to climb, using one handhold, then two, then three... and I'm already stuck. I'm less than a meter off the ground, and I don’t know where to put my foot next.

"To the right, Batlle," she directs me.

"That's way too far!"

"Of course not. Use your legs to climb, not just your hands. You’ll never make it otherwise."

"What kind of punishment is this, seriously?" I snap.

"Alright, enough complaining. Climb that damn wall now. We’re not leaving until you reach the top."

And I know she's serious. Bronze likes things to be finished. Especially punishments. There’s never been one that I’ve abandoned halfway. I place my foot on the hold she indicated and muster all my remaining strength.

"See, you can do it when you try."

I continue climbing higher and higher. I had to stop several times after making the mistake of looking down. Bronze had to reassure me and encourage me to keep going. I have no idea what time it is, but it’s definitely late. I struggle to grasp another hold, and finally, I reach the top! I let out a proud yell, which makes Bronze laugh. It’s the first time I’ve succeeded, and it’s all thanks to her. She made sure I didn’t give up. I sigh in relief.

"Can you lower me down now?"

"No."

"What do you mean, 'no'!?"

I wish I could see her face, just to know if she’s joking. Her voice doesn’t sound like she’s joking. Unfortunately, I can't verify it. I cling to the wall, trying not to let go.

"No. I’m not letting you down. Not yet."

"This isn’t funny! I’m really scared and can hardly hold on. Everything hurts!"

"I’ve got you. You’ll stay up there until you explain why you took the blame for something you didn’t do."

"Excuse me!? What makes you think that? I did it!"

"Those tags were done Sunday night, Ona. Last I checked, we spent the evening together. Besides, the drawings look like they were done by a kindergartener. It would be a disgrace for someone who practices art as a hobby. To top it off, we already found out who the culprit was just before dinner."

Damn it! She got me like a rookie. Here I am, stuck against this wall like an idiot. She brings me back to reality.

"So, Ona. Don’t mess with me and tell me the truth!"

I’m literally backed into a corner. I close my eyes and rest my head against the wall. I have no choice, I have to talk. My limbs are giving out, and my head is spinning. I’m trembling all over. I’ll lose my grip soon.

"I wanted to get your attention..."

"Get my attention?" she repeats, surprised. "Why?"

"You ignored me all day, and I noticed you weren’t doing well this morning... I was afraid it was because of me, even though Engen assured me otherwise."

"You can’t be serious, Ona? You got yourself accused of something so serious just to get to me!?"

"It seemed to be working until now..."

"You’re such an idiot!" she says bitterly. "But you’re brave, I’ll give you that. Alright, let go of the holds. I’ll lower you down."

"I can’t."

"Don’t be ridiculous. Let go!"

"I’m scared!"

She sighs as I cling tighter to the wall. I can’t help it; it’s stronger than me.

"Ona, there’s a reason I made you climb up there."

"Oh really?" I sneer bitterly.

"It’s a trust exercise. I need you to trust me, not just in climbing."

"Stupid exercise!"

I’m on the verge of a panic attack. I’m holding back tears that are welling up in my eyes.

"Ona, please, I won’t let you fall, I promise."

My trembling won’t stop. It’s an awful feeling. I close my eyes to fight against myself. I know I can trust her. I don’t know what I’m waiting for. I take a deep breath before letting go without thinking. I squeak as I swing back and forth, hitting the wall. She stabilizes me before slowly lowering me down. I force myself to open my eyes to see myself floating in the air. My heart is pounding with fear, but it’s not so bad after all. I’m relieved once my feet touch the ground. I collapse against the wall, trying to regain my composure. Bronze smiles at me and crouches down to untie my knot. She really got me this time. She knew it wasn’t me. She just wanted to corner me to make me talk. She surprises me by placing her hand on my forehead to check my temperature.

"You haven’t had any more episodes?"

"No, it was fine today..." I murmur.

"Hmm. Engen told me that you were late. Was that also to get my attention?" she teases.

"The first one wasn’t. Well... not intentionally. The second was to check if you were absent for the day."

She raises an eyebrow before bursting into laughter. It’s a genuine, pleasant laugh. She shakes her head before leaning against the other wall. It’s true it would’ve been smarter to choose the other wall. The climbing wall’s features hurt my back, but I’m too exhausted to move now. I watch her pull her legs up and wrap her arms around them. It’s a very childlike position for her. I savor the silence that follows. I realize I missed her presence today. It doesn’t stop me from feeling stupid for confessing my obsession with her. I watch her stare at an invisible point in front of her, looking completely absent. Several minutes pass before she speaks again.

« Why?"

« What do you mean, « why »? »

« Why did you want to get my attention? » she repeats, finally looking at me intently. « It’s really confusing. Just a week ago, you hated me. »

I lower my head, thinking. She's right. It is confusing given everything I’ve said to her. I don’t even know when my feelings changed. I nervously play with my fingers. Admitting my true feelings would reveal too much. I sigh as I look at the ceiling.

« You’re the only one who cares about me here. Well, no. You’re actually the only one who’s cared about me for years, I correct myself. I appreciate the attention you give me, even if it’s sometimes annoying to have you on my back. I’m sorry for getting so worked up the other night. I felt like everything I thought was wrong and was afraid you’d become cold again like in the beginning . »

« What exactly were you thinking? »

"Well... I thought you were only helping me because you were ordered to. That you were doing it professionally and not because you liked me. »

« Of course, I’m doing it professionally, but not just that, Ona. By accepting Wiegman’s offer, I volunteered to supervise you and enforce the rules. That’s all. The rest is from me. »

I feel remorse now. I lower my head to hide my embarrassment. I’ve been making a fuss over something that doesn’t exist. I suddenly feel really foolish.

« If I really didn’t care about you, I would have let them send you to a rehab center like Wiegman and your mother planned, she adds. I dissuaded them because I trusted you, and I was right to. »

« Thank you…"

« I’m not doing much. »

« Yes, more than you think. »

« Like what, for example? »

« You’re the only one who can stand up to me. You punish me without mercy and manage to make me comply with orders I would never have followed before... You’re also the only one who pushes me to succeed in what I undertake. You show that you trust me, and that reassures me », I conclude.

I’m a real idiot. She wants the best for me, and I keep digging myself deeper. I watch her as she remains silent. She seems lost in thought.

« You have a very contradictory personality, you know? »

« What do you mean? »

« You act like a tough girl who doesn’t care about anything and is afraid of nothing, but after spending time with you... I’ve discovered that you have a serious lack of self-confidence. My punishments have chipped away at your armor. »

I don’t respond. There’s nothing to say since she hit the nail on the head. Bronze is very observant. She just figured out that side of me without me wanting her to. I bite my lip.

« I wanted to thank you for what you did for me this week. »

« It’s normal. »

« I must admit it really pissed me off to see you so down this morning. You don’t hesitate to help me when I have issues, and I can’t even do anything for you. I thought about it so much that I went over every situation from last week, fearing I had done something wrong. »

I need to get this off my chest so she knows how I feel. I felt bad for her. I’m aware that our relationship is evolving, but I hope our attitudes won’t change. I really enjoy annoying her. It’s become my favorite pastime here. It’s fun, and I love that she takes care of me... Even if the punishments aren’t always great.

« I got dumped last night. »

I look at her in disbelief. I don’t know what surprises me more: the fact that she’s confiding something very personal or that she broke the rules. I had already asked her questions about herself, and she had kindly brushed me off.

« The commander dares to break rules? » I reply with humor. « And seriously, did someone actually want you?! »

« Of course they did! » she huffs, hitting me on the shoulder.

« Sorry, »I chuckled. « It was too tempting! »

I managed to get a small laugh out of her. She rests her head against the wall and closes her eyes. She really seems affected. I should have noticed this morning.

« He’s just an idiot. He doesn’t know what he’s missing. »

« Oh really?" she chuckles, looking at me.

« Absolutely. Even though you’re a super annoying commander... I imagine that outside these walls, you must be a nice person. I got a little glimpse of that this week. »

« I’ll remember those words. »

« Hey! That’s out of the question! I’m trying to cheer you up here! »

I managed to get her to laugh a little more. It’s nice to hear, and it reassures me at the same time.

« You say that, but you don’t even know what happened. For all you know, I could be the worst bitch. »

« Is that so?"

« I don’t think so. Only with you when you annoy me. »

« That’s mean. »

« Realistic. »

I smile at her response. I love having these casual, spontaneous conversations with her. I know it’s short-lived, so I’m enjoying it. As soon as we leave this room, I’ll have to deal with the commander again. She’s too obsessed with the rules to be any different.

« How long were you clean before last weekend? »

I sit up at this question. It seems like we’re in a moment of trust. I turn to face her and let my head rest against the wall. Her eyes are looking at me intently, very interested in my forthcoming answer. She’s taking a risk by asking me to open up... I sigh and play with a strand of my hair.

« I left the rehab center on September 18. One year after I entered. »

« Just a week before you came here? » she’s surprised.

« I guess my mother preferred to send me to this hole at the other end of the country rather than risk seeing me relapse, » I chuckle bitterly.

« I’m glad she did »

« Really? » I frown.  « I could have done without a military school. Just like the rehab, actually. It was really my worst experience. »

« Drugs are just a never-ending spiral once you taste them. I hope you won’t fall back into it. »

« It was just a rough patch, that’s all…"

I murmur this as I pull my knees to my chest. I’m very thoughtful about everything I’ve been through.

« «You complain about school, but if she hadn’t sent you here, I wouldn’t have met this cheeky kid you are. »

« That’s true, » I say with a shy smile. « You’re right. »

We enjoy the calming silence after all these emotions. It’s been a long time since I confided in anyone other than Mapi. She didn’t even have to drag it out of me. Mapi got the full story. She won, as she’s now the only one who knows everything. It’s no wonder she’s my best friend. She’s the only one I trust implicitly. I know she’ll never let me go, or she would have done so already.

« Still, I know about your love life before your first name. »

« In your dreams, I’m not telling you ».

« Why? You’ve already broken many rules tonight. One more or less…"

« You’ll find out sooner or later, but not tonight. You already know more than you should. »

I give up to keep the good mood going. I’m curious to know, but it will have to wait. I’ve tried to find out, but no one knows. It feels like a golden rule, but it seems ridiculous.

« If you don’t tell me, then tell me why such a beautiful girl is still single? »

« I don’t think t— »

« Oh come on », I interrupt. « You can talk about it to someone. And besides, who am I going to tell? I have no friends here. »

« No friends? What about the Putellas sisters or Leah and others? » she lists.

« Well, alright... I might have friends... Actually, I didn’t really want any attachments... I hate relationships; they always end up causing pain. Except Alexia didn’t get that memo... She can be very endearing. »

« We’re not so different after all, » she murmurs.

« Why do you say that? »

« I’ve been criticized for not being present enough and not investing enough in my relationships, she confesses. That weekend I couldn’t come home was the last straw. I’m not good with attachments either. I’m actually more of a feelings handicap who runs away at the first sign of trouble. »

« So I’m to blame."

"What? No, of course not! » she quickly responds. « It was planned that I wouldn’t come home the weekend you returned. Wiegman ordered me to keep an eye on you the whole week. I informed them of my absence well in advance. It was just that things were already bad before, and the news didn’t sit well. It’s in no way your fault, I assure you. »

I am to blame, even if she says otherwise. If she had returned, she might still be in a relationship. Can I be selfish for not wanting things to change? If none of this had happened, we wouldn’t be here sharing private conversations. I wouldn’t change it for anything in the world. I feel comfortable around her. I no longer feel exposed when confiding in her.

« Do you promise that everything we’ve talked about stays between us? » she asks.

« Of course », I promise. « And I’m not the type to break my promises. »

Time continues to pass. I hope it’s not too late. I’m dead tired, though. This first day has really worn me out. To think that just yesterday I spent the entire day in bed.

« I’m going to take you back to your room, she breaks the silence by standing up. You need to rest. »

« Do you work tomorrow? »

"I suppose I have no choice if I want you to behave. You might try to get my attention. »

« Oh, come on, I chuckle. »

I can tell she’ll bring up this story more than once. I accept her hand that helps me up. We put the equipment back in place before leaving our confessional space. Students are still hanging around in the hallways, which means it’s not yet past ten o’clock. Bronze accompanies me to my room, and I’m glad to see that it’s empty.

« Well then... Good night », she says.

« Thanks for everything, Bronze, » I reply softly.

« See you tomorrow, Batlle. »

I smile as she ruffles my hair. I don’t like the gesture, but coming from her, it doesn’t bother me. Once she’s gone, I head to the bathroom for a quick shower and put on my pajamas. I don’t waste any time sliding under the covers afterward. I’m physically and emotionally exhausted from the day, even though it’s better now. It was a special exchange, and I’m glad I’m the only one who knows about it. I get lost in my thoughts, but it doesn’t stop me from falling asleep effortlessly, with a smile on my lips.

[eviesaurusrex]

“ᴍʏ ʀᴇꜱᴘᴏɴꜱɪʙɪʟɪᴛʏ ɪꜱ ʏᴏᴜ.” | ʙ. ʙᴀʀɴᴇꜱ

GIFs not mine!

Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

summary: Bucky’s girl has to get her wisdom teeth removed, and he would go to all lengths to protect her from that experience—but he has to deal with the aftermath and takes care of her in the best possible ways.

word count: 2.1k

warnings: mentions of blood and surgical environment, mentions of pain and panic, Bucky being overprotective, mentions of his nightmares/night terrors, mentions of teeth removal, but overall more fluff than angst!

author’s note: This is entirely self-indulgence on my behalf bc I got mine removed on Tuesday, and it was probably the scariest experience I ever had in a doctor’s office. So, I need to imagine Bucky would be there and worry about me and take care of me.

;

He sat in the hallway, forearms resting on his knees, of which one bounced rapidly to ease the need to jump up and walk straight into that room. Steve was right next to him—Bucky suspected that YN had asked him to sit down with him, just in case—and he was thankful for his best friend’s company because the sounds he could pick up in the distance almost drove him mad.

Bucky knew that Steve probably heard them more clearly, but the faint sounds were already enough for him to want to jump up and save his girl from the excruciating fear she now had to face in there. She sounded like an injured and scared animal, and he could hear her sobs traveling to his ears—it reminded him so much of the sounds he woke himself with night after night, the panic all-consuming, and only her tender touches could pull him back out of the memories. Listening to YN making those exact same noises almost broke his heart to a million pieces.

“Why can’t they just put her under,” he mumbled angrily, hands pushing through his now short hair, which YN had cut for him during a sunny but lazy Saturday morning. Steve softly patted his shoulder. “You know her body would burn through the anesthesia faster than they could work, and they can’t use the stuff Bruce developed because she tends to get high blood pressure from it.” Steve tried everything to get through to Bucky, to console him, to make him understand that this was the only option—and that everything would be alright. “She will push through it. They gave her something to calm down, and she doesn’t feel any pain.” His words seemed like a joke as another sobbing moan was heard by the two super soldiers. “Doesn’t sound like it,” Bucky mumbled, face buried in his hands.

The blonde man sighed deeply before speaking up again. “Friday?” The AI instantly woke to life. “Yes, Captain Rogers?” He threw a look at his friend before asking the question. “How is YN holding up in there?” They had to wait a few seconds before Friday spoke again. “Agent LN‘s blood pressure is slightly elevated, but Doctor Hilton just said they would be done in only a couple of minutes. The last tooth is rotated, and he needs a bit longer to remove it than he did for the previous three. I will notify you when they are done.”

Bucky slumped back against the wall behind him, releasing the held breath in a deep sigh, but still continued the wringing of his hands. The wiring sound of his metal arm increased as he raked his metal fingers through his hair once more, his eyes closed and dark brows furrowed. At least he didn’t hear the pained moan coming from his girlfriend anymore, but he still could make out her soft crying.

The following minutes passed as slowly as eternity probably would feel before Friday announced that the procedure was finished and the last stitch was made. Neither Steve nor the nurses who worked in the medbay of the compound could stop the brunette soldier as he jumped off the too-small chair and rushed through the hallway. He didn’t even bother to check if he was allowed to enter the sterile surgical room; instead, he just stalked in there, throwing everyone a dark look, before hurrying himself over to YN, who still rested on the horizontal chair, eyes red and puffy from all the crying, tears still running down her already slightly swollen cheeks.

“Oh, YNN,” he whispered gently and softly, prying open her cramped fingers, which held tensely onto each other. He took her hand in his, pressed it against his chest, and leaned down to pepper her forehead in soft kisses, not wanting to risk hurting her if he dared to kiss her cheeks. “You did so well, doll. So, so well,” he continued his whispered praises and brushed the salty tears off her cheeks and from underneath her eyes with a feather-like touch of his thumb. She looked up at him, tears still clearly visible in her watery eyes, and another sob escaped her throat. But suddenly, she choked on it, and a bit of blood escaped her lips as she coughed, which Bucky was fast to dab from there with the towel laying on the surgical tray right next to her.

“There. All gone.” He smiled down at her, and YN stretched her arms out to him, desperation and the remnants of panic and fear on her still pretty face, and he softly pulled her into his arms, lifting her off the chair. “Make sure she lays upright for the first couple of days,” the surgeon says after Bucky has turned with her securely in his arms. “Cooling is essential, so start with it right away. When her cheeks swell up, you can do lymphatic drainage—Friday has the instructions. Check-up is tomorrow, and we will remove the stitches a week from now.“ The soldier nodded after every point made. “The painkillers and the antibiotics are in this bag, along with some instructions concerning her nutrition for the upcoming days, but Friday also generated a meal plan.” Again, another nod from Bucky while YN just clung to him. “She did really good,” Hilton smiled at last and released the couple.

Bucky carried her out of the room and let Steve accompany them on their way upwards onto the living floor. YN threw the blonde a thankful look before opening her mouth slightly. “Thanks, Stevie.” It was only a mumble, almost incomprehensible due to the cotton pads between her teeth and the still working local anesthetic, numbing her entire mouth, including her tongue, but Steve understood her nonetheless. “Everything for my sister-in-mind,” he returned with a soft smile and gently rubbed over her back. “Get some rest, cupcake.” She nodded at his words before snuggling her head back onto Bucky’s shoulder while Steve walked off and left them at the door to their shared bedroom.

“How is the pain, doll?” YN shrugged at that, clinging to him as he tried to put her on the bed and wanting to leave her alone. “Dongo,” she mumbled, and the soldier smiled down at her, crouching in front of the sitting woman. “Was never my intention, pretty girl. Just wanted to get your shoes off. Do you want some fluffy socks? One of my Henleys?” She nodded at both with brightening eyes, and Bucky smiled again before softly kissing the crown of her head, a hand gently combing through her hair. “Be right back, darling.” And he held his word, returning with her favorite pair of fluffy socks—the ones with candy canes and reindeer—and her favorite Henley—the dark red one. He helped her into both, always careful not to touch her cheeks.

He moved her into the middle of the enormous bed, propping her up with the pillows lying around and tucking her in. “Gonna do a quick run to the kitchen to get you those cooling packs, doll. Need anything else?” She shook her head and watched him as he left and even stared at the door when he returned only minutes later—arms filled with all kinds of stuff.

YN raised both brows in silent question after Bucky had neatly piled everything on top of the bedside table and tried to figure out how he could attach the cooling packs to her face. He would hold them day and night, but the soldier was sure that his girlfriend wouldn’t be fond of that suggestion. “Don’t give me that look, doll. Y’know, I can’t let you starve or dehydrate. Nat gave me those drink meals? And Tony found some of those squeeze puree bags Peter used when he got his removed. I don’t know; it says something about banana and strawberry flavor, and that sounded quite good, didn’t it? Oh, and I got you lots of water, and Wanda will bring some tea later. She said it would be antibacterial? S’supposed to help with the healing and—…” He rambled without pause, and YN gently pressed her pointer finger onto his lips and let him shut up. “Sorry,” he mumbled against her skin with a bashful smile.

“Give me those.” YN took the cooling packs out of his restless, moving hands and pointed to their shared closet. “Could you bring me a scarf?” Bucky was up and on the other side of the room within a blink of an eye and held three options over his head, a questioning expression in his eyes. “Which one?” YN smiled softly and slightly shook her head. “Doesn’t matter, silly,” she told him, but Bucky still treated the decision like the most important one on this day. “I think we should go with the grey one. It’s soft enough for your skin, it’s not too expensive to be crying over it when you ruin it, and it’s big enough for whatever you might wanna do to it,” he finally decided and brought it to her before plopping down next to YN and watching her in her doings.

She folded it in half lengthwise and put the two cooling packs in the middle before wrapping them in the fabric. Then, she lifted the now-heavy scarf and started to make a knot on the top of her head—the section with the packs now tightly resting around her chin and cheeks. Bucky stared in awe at her inventing mind, and a chuckle escaped him after YN had turned her head to face him. “You look like a little bunny. Or that one Disney character with the long ears.” YN giggled at that. “You mean Goofy?” He nodded with a grin before pulling her close to his body.

“How is the pain? Do you need some of those painkillers?” He had to make sure that it didn’t get worse while he was gone. And he was glad he asked because she nodded slowly, almost shyly. “Yeah… Think the anesthetic is wearing off,” the agent mumbled, and he was quick to get the package from the bag and one of the water bottles he had brought. “There you go,” he mumbled after carefully removing the blood-drenched cotton pads from her mouth, and she had thrown one in and emptied the bottle halfway. “Don’t have to feel embarrassed, love. Just tell me if you need another one, yeah? You don’t have to suffer only because you think you have to.” YN nodded gently and leaned her head heavily on his shoulder.

“I was so scared in there,” she finally dared to whisper and felt his hold around her tighten. “I know, love. Heard you through that entire hallway. It broke my heart not to be able to protect you from that. But you did so, so well. My brave girl,” the usually grumpy super soldier mumbled into her soft hair, pressing several kisses to her temple. “Sorry for worrying you. And scaring you. I just… just couldn’t stop the tears and the sounds because it hurt so bad but didn’t hurt at the same time because everything was numb, but my jaw…” The memory of the feeling when a tooth was pulled out alone made her nauseous again, not to mention the sickening sound when the surgeon had to crack one of her teeth in order to get it out of her damn jaw.

Bucky held her even closer at that and hummed softly. “It’s over now, love. And stop apologizing, hm? It’s my responsibility to worry myself to death when it comes to you. You’re my everything, YNN. It’s natural for me to worry about’ya.” She looked up at him and accepted the incoming forehead kiss with tiredly closing eyes, finally feeling comforted and loved and safe again. “But y’don’t have to hang here the entire week. I know you have missions and the evaluation of the recruits, and—…” Now it was Bucky’s turn to tenderly lay a finger to her lips and urge her to look up at him again. “Did you really think for a second I’d leave you all to yourself? To let you look after yourself alone? Silly woman,” he grinned and pecked the tip of her nose with a soft kiss. “You’re my responsibility, doll. So it’s my responsibility to take care of you this entire week. Haven’t had so much time with you in weeks, so I’m very willing to stay right here where I am.”

YN blinked slowly, comprehending his words, and sniffled a bit as tears tried to rise in her eyes. “You really stay here?” She couldn’t understand the luck she had to have Bucky at her side. But his nod showed her that he meant it. “You can bet on it. You will be so sick of me after these seven days,” he chuckled and let her cuddle tightly into his chest. “Not possible,” she whispered, and within a few seconds, Bucky felt her body getting heavier in his arms and all he did was hold her while she slept off the adrenaline and panic from earlier.

;

As already mentioned, this was entirely selfish to write because I really needed that. But still, I hope y’all enjoyed it at least a bit :3 As usual: comments, reblogs, and likes are much appreciated!

taglist: @seasonofthenerd @onecrazydirectioner @meeksmusic83 @nyctophilic0vitnir

[thefallennightmare]

i’m leaving this here for headcanon tuesday so i don’t forget

if you’re comfortable would you maybe write something andy x reader x noah where they’re both going down on her (and it’s her birthday)

andy’s kissing her hip while noah has his turn and they just keep alternating. andy will bring her so close to the edge only to pull away just so noah can keep going with twice as much fervor.

ends up turning into a little friendly rivalry. who can draw the prettiest noises, pleasured faces,…. they’re incorrigible the way they egg each other on. you’re so spent by the end of it.

@thescarlettvvitch @missduffsblog @hayleylatour @sleepyomens @loeytuan98 @artificialbreezy @marvelousmal @bngurngheart @lma1986 @dsireland86 @wild-child-7747 @calleyx13 @illmakeyousaywow @jaded-and-hollow-souls @exitwoundsx @shayzillaaaa @badomensls @princesspeach-00 @burning-outx @shadowseve @collective-heartbreak @klutzy-kay24 @sorrowsofsilence @sweetlittlekitsune @shilohrosechicken @itsafullmoon @toospooktocute @niicoleleigh @thatchickwiththecamera @hoe-for-daddywise @whenthesummerdies @cookiesupplier @concreteemo @thisbicc @sammyjoeee @pathion @flowery-mess @tashka @Karenfranco @its-inourblood @amelia-acero @xxkittenkissesxx @cncohshit @xserena-13 @collidewiththesavannah

WHEN I TELL YOU I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE! I know it might not be everyone's cup of tea so feel free to skip! SMUT BELOW THE CUT!

"Oh my fucking god," you moaned, feeling one warm mouth leave wet kisses along your hip and another flicking its tongue over your clit.

Andy hummed into your skin, kissing up from your hip to your stomach.

"God, huh?"

Noah's eyes flicked up from between your legs, a devilish smirk playing on his lips.

"There's no God here, angel. Just you, Andy, and me," he winked before fucking you with his tongue again.

You grasped at the blanket beneath you, both Noah and Andy taking their turns to lap up your arousal and fuck you alternating between their tongues and fingers.

You woke up by kissing your lips and Noah's face between your legs.

"Happy birthday, angel," Andy muttered against your lips.

It almost became a race between the two of them, who could bring you closer to the edge before stopping just for the other to lick and suck at your clit with twice more vigor than the last.

"Noah," you panted when you gazed down at him, seeing your arousal coat his lips. "Please."

His fingers slowed inside of you. "Please what, angel? Use your words."

Andy's teeth grazed over your nipples, playing with them. "Come on. Tell Noah what you want."

"I just want to cum, please."

Noah hummed while pressing a soft kiss to your clit causing you to almost scream out in frustration or pleasure.

You weren't sure.

"What do you think, Andy?" Noah cocked an eyebrow at the other man. "Should we let our angel cum?"

Your eyes begged with his dark ones but something wicked glinted behind them.

"Not yet."

[tim-shii]

DAMN I LOVE YOUR ITOSHI SIBLINGS FIC SO MUCH ❤️ TOO MUCH CUTENESS, especally when baby key call her brothers 'nii-chan' ❤️❤️❤️ Imagine baby kei ask both her 'nii-chan' for some 'siblings quality times' together, and both sae and rin cant say 'no' to baby kei despite their 'relationship' ❤️❤️

a/n: aa tysm for saying that omg i love kei shes the best ever 🫶 this request is so fun to write hshdhah live laugh love itoshi brothers ‼️ not beta 😣 baby itoshi is named kei ofc ,, this is like a part two to the baby itoshi fic i wrote on my old acc but u can read it separately dw enjoy reading mwamwa

rewatching football matches isn't new to itoshi rin. as a player for the national team, he gave himself the responsibility of analyzing and observing the opponent's tactics in order to think of possible plays that would shut them down. 

thirty minutes into the game, rin can't help but furrow his brows. the most skilled player on the team is about to make a goal that got the team the first half of the match. concentration was written on his face, completely focused and silent. there he is, reeling back his feet, about to shoot the ball in the goal. soft patters on the floor echoed in the loving, but rin was too focused on the game to notice. 

taps on his knee caught his attention. looking down at kei who just woke up, hair a mess, blanket in one hand and a plushie clutched to her chest. "good morning you gremlin. 'ya had a nice nap?" said rin as he picked her up and settled her on the couch beside him, pinching her cheek gently after.

"can we play with sae-nii today?" kei yawned, small fists rubbing her eyes. her brother froze, mouth agape, unsure what to say. how does he tell his three year old sister that her brothers have a strained relationship with each other and can't even stand being in the same room for one minute.

"what if he's busy?" rin tries to reason. god forbid he'll have to spend an entire day with sae. kei looked away, huffing grouchily. "but he said he's free today. he told ma yesterday."

oh great, they've talked the day before. "but what if i'm busy?" 

"rin-nii doesn't do anything but soccer. what are you busy about?" sometimes he hates how kei, his sweet little sister, is so blunt with her words. but because she's cute, rin decides that he'll let this one slide. 

realizing that he's playing a losing game, he had no choice but to nod at her. pursing his lips in a forced smile, rin nodded to kei. "how about you go pick out your outfit today while i go ask him?"

"yay!"

itoshi sae, the prodigy of japan and a valuable gem in the soccer world, rarely gets days off. instead of resting, he would rather spend his time practicing alone in the field. however because of a promise he made yesterday, his cleats are left alone in his locker. 

itoshi sae has been glaring at his phone for three minutes. getting calls is a rare occurrence for him. other than the calls his manager makes and the spam calls he gets from a certain demon, his phone stays silent most of the time. 

so why is his brother, the one whose last decent conversation with him was before he left for spain, calling him on a random tuesday morning. before he could answer the call, the ringing stopped, quickly followed by pings.

itoshi rin

'meet us at xxx' 

'kei wants to see you'

'don't be late'

an amusement park. of course, of all places in the world, in japan, kei would pick out the amusement park. sae doesn't necessarily hate the place, he just deems it too bright and … bright.

"sae-nii!" kei ran towards him, immediately hugging his legs. rin follows behind, a small pink bag hung over his shoulder. if the two brothers made eye contact, they certainly didn't make it obvious. silently handing the bag over to sae, rin ruffles kei's hair. "okay you gremlin, nii-chan's here. i'm gonna go now."

"where are you going?" kei frowned at him. "i thought we're all gonna play together?" 

if rin was thinking about leaving, now he was not. one look at kei's sad face is enough to trigger all phases of guilt he'll experience if he chooses to walk away. "but i'm busy, kei." 

the two brothers were staring intently at their youngest sister, observing her every expression. once they noticed the trembling of her lips and the tears starting to pool around her eyes, telepathically, the brothers made a temporary truce to try and get along today. 

"rin's just gonna go buy the tickets, kei. he's not leaving, right rin?" sae picked her up, patting her back as he stared at rin, silently telling him to play along and just get the tickets.

"right. c'mon don't cry, i'll be back with the tickets and we'll go to your favorite rides." 

kei's eyes seemed to sparkle at that. "all of them?" 

"of course, kei. i saw a dango stand, let's go get one." sae steered away, ending the conversation before they agreed to more of kei's ideas. rin turned away, too, after waving at kei, to walk to the booth and purchase the tickets.

sae and rin may not get along due to their contrasting ideals and dreams but for their little sister, they'll always be willing to set aside their 'strained relationship'. after all, her happiness will never not be important for both of the brothers.

likes & reblogs are appreciated !

[btsficsandsuch]

Hey ,hope you are doing okay. I wanted to request a taehyung × reader where she gets hurt or something when he was on tour but she tries to hide it from her but he finds out eventually. angsty with happy ending

Here you go. I hope you like it!!

I’m Alway Worried About You

This is not how you planned your Tuesday night going. Thankfully the emergency room wasn’t too packed and they were able to get you seen pretty quickly. “Okay Y/N. It seems you have a bad case of pneumonia. Everything will be okay and you’ll make a full recovery but we do want to keep you for the next 24 hours to give you some breathing treatments and make sure it doesn’t get any worse.”, the doctor advises you. You simply nod your head in agreement and watch as we walks out the door.

“You should really call Taehyung and let him know what’s going on.”, your best friend speaks up. “No I can’t do that. He’s on tour and he’ll freak out. He’ll be on the next plane back.”, you say shanking your head. She laughs, “And that would be a bad thing why? It’s obvious he loves you.” “I know he does but he’s already given up so much for me. I don’t want him to get in trouble. Plus the doctor said I’ll be fine so there’s no reason he ever has to find out about this.”, you reply. After convincing your friend that you’d be okay and didn’t need her to spend the night you said goodbye and settled in for the night.

The following morning you woke up extremely tired and with a massive headache. When the doctor told you that you’d be getting breathing treatments you didn’t think he meant every hour. You just finished yet another treatment when your phone started vibrating on the table next to you. Checking the screen you saw Taehyungs name flashing. You’d already ignored two of his calls so you knew if you did it a third time he’d have someone looking for you so you had no choice but to answer.

“Hello”

“There you are Y/N! I was getting worried.”

“I’m sorry Tae. I was in the shower.”

“It’s okay. How are you? I miss you so much!”

“Aww babe I miss you too! How much longer until you get back?”

“Umm like two weeks.”

“Oh that’s not too ba-“

You’re cut off before you can finish. “Here you go Miss. These are your discharge papers. The dr will be in shortly to give your lungs one final listen.”, the nurse says before turning and walking away. You’re glad they weren’t currently checking your blood pressure because the machine definitely would’ve blown up. You were praying Taehyung didn’t hear that but before you even continue he asks,

“Discharge papers and doctor? Y/N are you okay?”

“Yeah I’m fine Tae. It was in the drama I’m watching on tv. The female lead was in the hospital.”, you said hoping he buys the lie.

“Alright. Well I have to get going. I’ll talk to you later. I love you Y/N.”

“I love you too Tae. Be safe! Tell the boys I say hi.”

After the call ended you let out a long sigh thankful that he didn’t ask any more questions. The doctor came in shortly after and checked your breathing. He said you still sounded a little sick but much better than yesterday. He gave you a prescription for an inhaler to use if you felt like your breathing was getting worse and signed off on your discharge. Your best friend was waiting in the lobby to take you home.

The next couple weeks went by fast. Every day you felt a little stronger and you only had to use the inhaler twice. Today was an exciting day because Taehyung was finally coming home after being gone for the last couple months. As soon as he walked in the door you ran and jumped into his arms, “I missed you so much Tae.” He spun you around the living room before giving you a kiss, “I missed you too Y/N.”

After spending some time catching up you both realize that you’re starving and decide to check out a new restaurant that just opened up. The meal was great. Taehyung told you all about the tour. He showed you all of the pictures and videos he took. You couldn’t stop the smile that was on your face. As the two of you made your way back home you held his hand close, just happy that he was finally there. You both walked from the car over to the elevator ready to get upstairs and cuddle and watch the newest drama everyone keeps talking about. You went to press the button on the elevator when you noticed a big yellow sign taped to the doors ‘Out Of Service. Please Take the Stairs. Sorry For The Inconvenience’.

Taehyung scoffs next to you, “For how much we pay to live here you’d think they could keep everything in working order.” You nod in agreement but have no choice but to take the stairs. Luckily your apartment is only on the fifth floor but it’s still quite a few stairs to take. With each staircase it gets harder and harder to breathe. Taehyung notices, “Are you okay Y/? We can take a break.” You shake your head, “No this is just a reminder that I have to start working out more.” The two of you continue up and finally reach your floor. You never thought you’d be so happy to see the tacky green carpet of the hallway leading to your apartment.

Now it seems that with each step your lungs are getting weaker and weaker. Sure you’re not the most physically fit person but you’ve never been this exhausted before. Then you remembered how the doctor told you that your lungs could be weaker for the next couple months as they fully recover from the pneumonia and that’s why he gave you the inhaler. You had stuffed the inhaler in the back of your nightstand drawer thinking you’d never need it again and wanted to make sure Taehyung never found it.

“Y/N are you sure you’re okay? You don’t look that good.”, he says pushing open the door to your apartment. You try to respond but realize you don’t have enough breath in your lungs to speak. You start to panic and begin pointing at your chest. “What’s wrong? Do I need to call for an ambulance? Y/N, try to breathe.”, he says clearly upset. Still unable to speak you start briskly walking back to your bedroom, Taehyung following close behind. Once you get to your nightstand you start pulling out item after item throwing them on the floor until you get to what you’re looking for. The navy blue inhaler. Quickly you follow the directions and push down inhaling the medicine and holding your breath. You Wait 10 seconds and do it again. After another 10 seconds you take one more inhale. Closing your eyes you sit on the bed and wait for the medicine to take effect.

Thankfully it only takes a couple minutes for the medicine to start working and slowly you can feel your lungs taking in more air. When you finally open your eyes you search for Taehyung and see him standing in front of you with wide eyes. “Y/N, what’s going on? We’ve been together for five years and you never told me you had asthma and I’ve never seen you use an inhaler.”, he asks with hints of fear and anger in his voice.

Taking another deep breath you grab his hand and pull him next to you. You decide it’s best to come clean. “I don’t have asthma. A few weeks ago I was admitted to the hospital with pneumonia. They gave me this inhaler but I didn’t think I’d need it so I didn’t bring it and I’ve been feeling much better but I think taking all of those stairs overworked my lungs. I’m sorry if I scared you.”, you said unable to look at him. “Of course you scared me Y/N. I thought you were dying. Why didn’t you tell me you were in the hospital? That’s not fair to keep something like that from me.”, he said trying but failing to hide the anger in his voice. “I’m sorry Tae. The doctor said I was going to be fine. If it was something serious I would’ve called you. I just didn’t want you to worry about me.”, you said squeezing his hand.

Taehyung lifted your chin so you were looking at him, “Y/N, I’m always worried about you when I’m not with you. I worry if you’re safe, if you’re healthy, if you’re happy, if you’re eating and sleeping well. Just like you’re always worried about me. If something happens and I’m not here I need to know about it. Even if it’s a paper cut you got while opening the mail. Even if I’m on the other side of the world. Promise me if something ever happens again you will call me, no matter what.” You nod and kiss his cheek, “I promise. I’m sorry.”

He gives you a big boxy smile, “Good. Now let’s clean up and then meet me on the couch. We’ve got a whole drama to binge watch in one night so we better get started.” You laugh and begin placing things back in the drawer except for the blue inhaler you can’t seem to find anywhere. Panic sets in until you see Taehyung in the living room holding the inhaler and talking on the phone. You bite your lip trying to hide the smile that forms as you hear him say, “Yes the prescription is for Mrs.Y/N Kim. I was wondering what would be needed to be able to get enough of these inhalers to put one in every room of the house and to have one on me at all times.” You laugh at his concern. You know they’d never give you enough to do that but for the time being you’ll let him have this moment and you feel your heart swell at how much he loves and cares about you.