#so i've been wary

[walkafter]

I feel hope      Deep in my bones           Tomorrow will be beautiful

[elvisqueso]

Pocahontas (1995): 3 times Pocahontas is compared to her mother + 1 time she's recognized on her own merits.

rambling lil meta under the cut

see, what's crazy about this whole situation is that it makes me wonder what exactly pocahontas's mom was like to have left such a massive impression on literally everyone in their community? there's that outright statement that "yeah, your mom's spirit is in the wind, basically, and our people venerate her as a spiritual guide (at the very least)." we know that she's the main connection between pocahontas and grandmother willow, and there's an implication in there that whatever leadership role she held in the village is expected to fall on pocahontas's shoulders someday.

i am so convinced that this role is some kind of spiritual leader/shaman position. wise-woman, priestess, whatever it's called. we don't see anyone else besides kekata performing any kind of spiritual rites, and even he isn't seen acting in direct contact with spiritual entities. kekata has to perform chants, provide offerings, and use a medium. pocahontas can just fuckign. talk to the things. how is she doing that? why isn't anyone else really able to do that? john smith could talk with grandmother willow but would he be able to if pocahontas wasn't there (i actually think he could but that's a different post)? has she ever done that for literally anybody else? nakoma never mentions grandmother willow. nobody mentions grandmother willow. apparently, the only two people who knew about her before pocahontas brought her new bf over was pocahontas and her mom.

i'm losing track of myself here, but the point is pocahontas is Highly aware of the ghost she's expected to live up to. and it sucks. and there's a lot more to her character arc about this but the eventual come-around to accepting that she has a responsibility to be more than herself and more than her mother's ghost is so heartbreaking because it also meant she had to let go of her soulmate at the same time so i c ry

[dlartistanon]

Arturiana was the most unexpected thing to have happened and I have never jumped on a ship this fast

[dont-offend-the-bees]

Fuck I hate being an adult. I need a more adult adult to help with the volatile emotional situation.

[bikananjarrus]

i finally started reading the high republic books! i finished light of the jedi last night, so here are a few of my (non-spoilery) thoughts:

jedi doing cool shit with the force is my favorite thing and there is SO much good jedi doing cool shit with the force content

also the way the force was described was just, really beautiful. it's been a while since any visual star wars medium has really made me feel in awe of the force, but this did the job so well.

the little worldbuilding aspects were really cool. (hypserspace travel still being developed, bacta isn't mass-produced yet, etc.) this book was just a really nice reminder about how cool and strange and fun the star wars galaxy can be (when actual effort is put into making it that way)

on that note, god it felt good to have good star wars content. like this was SO. GOOD. (and i'm so so excited to move onto the next books, but i kind of didn't want this one to end bc charles soule is such a beautiful writer. and he made every pov interesting and engaging; i was never bored)

i think maybe my favorite pov to read from was bell's. he made me laugh, and soule wrote him in such a way that was youthful but not childish, and it was just such a joy reading his pov. i felt so connected to him immediately, and was so proud of him by the end of the book! can't wait to see where his story goes. (also i love his and loden's relationship and i have SO many feelings about the end of the book like..... iykyk.)

avar and elzar. avar and elzar. AVAR AND ELZAR. they've got me down so. bad. help.....i love both of them individually, and their dynamic together is everything to me actually. (i have so many more thoughts on them, but i’ll come back to them later)

another bullet point to again say how much i LOVE jedi doing cool shit with the force, and relating it to elzar and a) how he describes the force as an endless sea.... yeah. i'm in love w that description; and b) him wanting to push boundaries, explore all that the force is capable, is just really really cool.

the epilogue. I have not stopped thinking about it. like i got yearning and terrifying force visions all in one chapter?? charles soule did that for ME <3

i'm reading the main books for phase one in order, so next up is test of courage, then into the dark. (even though i reallyyyy want to just go right to the rising storm lol)

[the-punforgiven]

Ok I'll bite. Should I watch Dungeon Meshi?

[yuseirra]

Coming to think of it, Aqua and Ruby becomes considerably darker and twisted when they have the black star eyes/are under the black star's influence. They become depressed, a bit unstable, lash out sometimes and cause the others around them to worry because their personalities change for the worse

But Kamiki still manages to sound pretty kind as he has these eyes, for instance, he had them when he talked with Ai in 154 and he was so soft even though what she said would have occurred as a shock. It was something really hurtful. If you think about it, do we ever see him treat others in a cruel way? It's quite the contrary, isn't it? I think he was always very polite in terms of the way he spoke and we never see him being aggressive even in terrible situations. We don't know what he actually did behind the scenes, but when we see him actually do something in present time, he doesn't seem too bad aside from the ominous aura he has.

Then just how kind is this guy without the black star? I think this guy's inherently really sweet. I think it's safe to say he used to be that way, and the more I examine his behavior, he's still retained that part of him. When someone makes a movie out of the worst nightmares of his life, he cares about them for having acted out something that painful. When someone says something very cruel, he says that was only natural. He's generally still polite, and he really is prepared to carry what he thinks is his fault and "rot away"(what does this mean.. Is going to jail all there is to it?;;)

I think he's supposed to be a really tender guy... It's just that the initial idea we got about him was too far from it and it overrules what he actually is. If Ai loves a guy, that is a lot. He must have been really nice to her and have had given her a lot of happiness in order for her to believe 'yes this guy's it. I want to stay with him forever' because it's really difficult to achieve. Ai leans on the avoidant type, and it's so hard for someone like that to find someone to feel that strongly about and wish to settle together with. I feel she was able to love her children with affection due to the positive experiences she's had with him.

It's not depicted so much in detail but they are both smiling in the flashbacks and the imaginations, they were pretty good together.

I wonder just how kind he would have been if his life wasn't so tormenting, and even while it being that way, he still??? Does manage to appear to be sweet at least outwardly? I think that IS indeed a glimpse of his true nature?? Which makes me believe he really is inspired from/an incarnation of the god who directs people to goodness?? I was very wary about this guy but he seems selfless. I feel like he'd have been an angel if things weren't so messed up. Is he still? He actually may be?? He was a good kid. I think Ai wanted to help him, willingly, because he was one and she didn't want to see someone like him suffer. She must have opened up to him because he was good to her.

Yeah.. That's my passing thought for now. Oddly enough, I can't think of things he did that are "evil" except for the things he "claims" to have done or are ambiguous at this point. When that gets revealed, my thoughts may change. For the time being, he's been mild and considerate and kind and even timid. That was so interesting because it contradicts what was being suggested before he made his appearance. It's been so fun and intruguing to look into, but it'd make sense for me if this is really it because what Ai's said... That can't just sprout from nowhere. It doesn't happen unless he's been really good to her.

[trobairitzposting]

i think i have a problem with 'mirroring' other peoples hcs/worldbuilding/characterizations back to them during conversations because of needing-to-be-liked disease and then getting upset when they never ask about or show interest in my own, even though not everyone is going to have the same standard of conversational reciprocity and that's fine. like missy how are they going to ask about things they didn't even know existed!!

[imminent-danger-came]

God with Sandy and MK training next season, the "Why do I break all the things I love?" line is going to bite me in the ass

[seventh-district]

not even gonna tag this properly bc i don't wanna get Involved but i do have some Thoughts i need to get out into the void so here we go

(aaa quick edit: CW for mention/discussion of Boothill leaks)

[gay-victorian-astronomer]

woof, tomorrow morning is going to be stressful...

I'm presenting my thesis (not quite defending it because the department handles things weird, but still giving a 15 minute talk), which would be bad enough on its own, but I need to also hunt down my PI about some paperwork shit beforehand that's super last minute because I missed an email in the finals shuffle, so I'm worried he'll be upset about it and aaaaaa

[saints-who-never-existed]

Look, I know this is very random but thinking about Manson and his Shetland origins brought me back to this video concerning Shetlandic/Shetland dialect, and I thought perhaps others might be interested to see it too.

It features Christine De Luca, who not only has an incredibly lovely, mellifluous voice but is also a celebrated poet who was made Edinburgh's Makar in 2014 and has long been an advocate for Shetlandic.

[rawliverandgoronspice]

.

one of my major problems with my job is that I get sososo tired of trying to figure out how to interact with people in a way that is honest, productive, but also doesn't bruise anyone's egos, and I can feel myself getting worse at it as time goes on and it's genuinely what drains me and stresses me out the most by far

[mellowdarkness]

Actually the previous post touches up on something I've been wondering about greatly lately

What is myself. What am I truly

The way I think of myself with knowledge of the inner workings of my mind is I think radically different from the way I present myself to the world as a whole.

The outer or inner layers display so differently between different people online or irl and none of them quite manage to grasp the whole of my character in a satisfactory and instead exacerbates some more or less desirable traits of mine while overshadowing a lot of the others

The disconnect is sometimes so large that I can't quite imagine someone used to the outer layers to ever manage to reach the core and remain interested in a meaningful way!

Is there anything to do about this

[sarah-sandwich-writes]

HOLD ON WAIT UP HOLD THE PHONE

I KNOW I WAS GONE FOR A FEW MONTHS THERE BUT HAS BLUE LIKE DON'T FORGET ABOUT ME ALWAYS BEEN A PART OF A SERIES OR IS THAT A NEW DEVELOPMENT???

I FEEL LIKE ITS CHRISTMAS ALL OVER AGAIN FUCK Y E A H

Okay so

I...

have been cooking

by which I mean illusions of grandeur and

schemes

And I have not been forthcoming lol Everyone kind of disappeared all at the same time so I kind of stopped talking about what I'm doing but I have been biding my time, quietly putting mechanisms into motion and plotting and occasionally cackling over my cauldron.

I finished the first draft of Blue like don't forget about me and didn't like it so I cut out all the sci-fi fantasy stuff (bye bye aliens farewell superpowers) and in November wrote a new first draft that's all contemporary romance babeee and I'm so in love with it I'm turning it into a little 3-part (possibly 4 if I can't control myself) series.

The original childhood years have been split off into a prequel novella called Red like my bleeding heart in your hand. Then Blue like don't forget about me will take place 20 years later. Nash works at Cherished Hope Nursing Home

“And what is it you do? At the nursing home, I mean.” I wipe shit off of old people. And Teddy’s a hockey player. What’s Luke, an underwear model? He shouldn’t have come.

Teddy comes back to town for a funeral and

Teddy looks at him for the first time in twenty years and every ounce of warmth leaves his expression. Message received. He should not have come.

OKAY SO AND THEN the next book will be Jo's POV and is called Violet like these delights. and MAYBE there will be a 4th from Luke's POV bc he gets to live this time by the grace of god (me) but it'll depend on how Violet goes (its current state is mostly vibes and a single overarching theme so, stand by).

Red needs a clean-up round of edits to snip out the few little threads that connected it to OG blue. And rewritten blue is basically done. I've done the major revisions and am about to start line edits and after those are done I'm sending it out to beta readers (lmk if you're interested).

There are concise actual summaries in my pinned post btw lol

WHICH REMINDS ME

The series title is Wildflowers of Deliverance. Which I'm extremely proud of. Did you notice did you notice how each title incorporates a wildflower did you did you? and the town they grew up in where Nash and Teddy first met is called Deliverance!!! It's okay I know I'm a genius.

And this brings us to the meal okay? because like I said I've been Cooking™ quietly but steadily for a few months now. ANd what have I been cooking? PLOTS and PLANS

I've decided on a pen name: Sarah B. Elisa

I've created a(nother) side blog for it that will be exclusively centered on my og writing and geared more toward readers rather than writers like this blog is: @sarahbe-writing

I'm going to create a website (as soon as I convince myself to spend money)

and a newsletter (as soon as I convince myself to spend money and do work)

I'm still waffling between trad publishing and DIY. I really like all my hats and it would be a shame to have to share them but oh my god I don't want to do all the marketing but trad pub seems hit or miss on how well they market you so I might get half of my hats taken away and still have to do the marketing bullshit UGH

anyway

OH YEAH and the OG draft I wrote for Blue? I'm going to spin it back to its OG OG roots [parkner, naturally--Return of The childhood friends to estranged almost lovers to super-powered rivals to reluctant allies to friends to lovers finally wip!!! AKA: We Were Gods (we were kids)] and that will fix all the things that went wrong and I didn't like 😌 so it's basically like double Christmas I think

[waningwithoutwaxing]

Wow. He's really asserting that poor people are willing to do any kind of horrible thing to get money. Do you want to know who really can do anything to get more money? Who has no qualms about crushing people and skirting laws to get more of it? Corporations. The unfathomably wealthy. The ones who don't even need more money to live. That's who.