#so if anyone wants like sources or to know if I'm citing something or if it's just my thought process

[neroushalvaus]

Okay I am going to use the Somerton situation to talk about something that is very important to me. Following the discussion I have seen former Somerton fans being disappointed in themselves and questioning how they can ever trust another video essayist again. I have also seen some people being smug because to them Somerton was obviously unreliable from the start. As a person who also saw the "red flags" in Somerton, I would like to skip the smugness and talk a bit about what the red flags were to me.

Someone else has probably posted something similar and Hbomberguy's & Todd in the Shadows's videos touched a few of these points, but they didn't focus on them or how to spot these things. I think it is a good thing: I think it would have reinforced the idea that Somerton's fans were to blame for being lied to, and these youtubers didn't want to pin any blame on the fans. Also, some of the things I'm going to talk about were not by any means proof of him being unreliable, they were common tropes I personally associate with people who are bullshitting on internet. Think of it as something like spotting terfs: If you consider following a tumblr user and find out they have at some point posted "males will always be a danger to females no matter what they say", it is very possible that they are not a terf. Maybe they were having a bad day and were just wording their post badly – But you should probably search "trans" from their blog before following them, just to be sure.

So, the tropes in James Somerton's content that I consider red flags:

Lack of sources. This one may seem obvious and Hbomb talked about this in his video, but the lack of sources in his videos was outrageous. Video essays are called essays for a reason, they are not supposed to be just a guy talking about whatever comes to his mind, they should be well researched essays. Obviously video essays should contain one's own thoughts and interpretations and those do not need citations. But James Somerton didn't come out of the womb knowing everything about LGBT history, Disney and film theory, if he actually knew something about all this stuff, he should have learnt it from somewhere. There should be sources he could point to. It is very common that even when a video essayist doesn't tell you where they got all their information, they open their video by saying stuff like "when I prepared for this video I read the book Also sprach Zarathustra by Friedrich Nietzsche and this one thrilling blog post about lesbian cruising in 1960s Sweden". From what I've seen, James does not really do this. From watching his videos you could arrive to the conclusion that James Somerton does not read any books, he just knows everything. There are situations where people don't feel the need to add sources, like when the information is considered common knowledge or when the topic relates heavily to the essayist's actual academic field or profession. This is okay and very understandable, but can sometimes be dangerous, since if the video essayist markets himself as a marketing specialist, people are more likely to take his word for stuff that has to do with marketing, even without sources. It is understandable that in many situations an essayist may think "why should I cite a source? I know this thing!", but doing your research well is partly about checking if the information you are certain of is actually true. Also, as Hbomb pointed out, if you can cite a source, your audience can go learn more about the subject. It's not about anyone doubting you know your stuff, it's about learning. That's why well-respected video essayists usually cite their sources very clearly.

Lack of pictures and screenshots. This is about different kinds of sources again, many things on this list are kind of about sources. An example: When James Somerton made a video about JKR, he mentioned something about Rowling at one time saying that trans students in 30-50Feralhogs (or whatever the wizard school is called) could use magic to present as their gender. If this was any other video essayist, you'd expect a tweet to pop up, or something else confirming Rowling ever said this. Nothing pops up, obviously because Rowling didn't say this, but you can't see anything fishy in that because things rarely pop up in Somerton's videos. He doesn't show you court documents when speaking about a court case, he doesn't show you the comments apparently mad at him for implying the gay anime is gay when he is complaining about people being mad at him. There is a reason people show screenshots and tweets in video essays. When a good video essayist says JK Rowling has tweeted that all people who menstruate should be referred to as women, the video essayist shows the tweet so people know they are not making it up. If there were hoards of annoying bitc-- I mean, angry white women whining about gay sex in HuffPost articles or Somerton's youtube comments, he should have no trouble showing you those. Remember that you should not trust someone just because they show you pictures or screenshots. Pictures can be photoshopped, screenshots can be doctored. Many youtubers are aware that you listen to their videos while cleaning or while walking your dog and don't actually see the screen all the time, and some may take advantage of that by saying something like "and here she threatened to kill me" while showing a text message where someone said "die mad about it". A screenshot alone isn't much but you should demand to see the screenshot.

Passive voice. I am once again bitching about this. Somerton repeatedly says things like "it's been said that" or "it was common knowledge that" or "a legend says that" or "according to most interpretations". He doesn't say who says it, making it very hard to fact check and that seems to be his goal in some cases.

Relying heavily on anecdotes. Writing a dense, analytical video about film theory or history can be exhausting and you may want to pepper in little fun facts. However Somerton seemed to rely on these heavily; he can't just talk about how he has totally bought every lie told by The Pink Swastika, he also needs to tell a cute little anecdote about SS men forcing sexual favours out of men. He can't just tell a story about a court case, he needs to add in ridiculous stuff about the jury booing. This is what I mean by not all the things on this list being necessarily proof of someone being unreliable. Many people use anecdotes and little stories in their storytelling, it makes the videos flow better and it's hard to decide which anecdotes are valid and which are not. A source obviously makes an anecdote a bit more believable, but here are some things that instantly make me fact check an anecdote:

It's a bit too convenient, poetic or ironic. Sometimes real life is weirder than fiction but if an anecdote is "perfect" and has an amazing punchline and you could write twelve poems about it, there is a possibility it was invented by pop science books.

It assumes your political enemies are stupid. Dunking on conservatives, MRAs and transphobes is always fun and after you've seen a lot of this kind of content it's easy to believe anything about these people. You must resist the impulse to believe everything that may make your opponents look stupid.

The person telling the anecdote implies it is an example of a larger, systemic problem. You know what's worse than taking a random happenstance from human history or internet and basing an entire political theory on it? The said random happenstance being made up. You should in general be wary of people telling one story and explaining why it's an example of everything that's wrong in the world. We live in a huge world. You can always find a white woman who loves cute gays but hates the idea of Nick Heartstopper and Charlie Heartstopper getting nasty but that doesn't mean it's an indicator of a larger issue.

Simplifying complex issues. We all know that "only the boring gays survived the AIDS crisis, and that's why gays started to only care about marriage equality and military" is a horrible, insensitive thing to say, but you also have to think about it for like two seconds to realize that it can't be correct. It kind of reminds me of the "roe v wade caused the crime drop of 1990s" claim in Freakonomics. It sounds logical and simple, like a basic math calculation. Societal issues rarely are like that, though. You should never believe anyone who tells you about a huge societal shift and says it happened because of one thing and one thing only.

These were some of the things I noticed in Somerton's content that caused me to distrust him. I hope these were helpful to you and feel free to add your own "red flags" if you feel like it!

[sophieinwonderland]

Now, why would you dare me to embarrass you and your pals like that?

I appreciate how you wanted my attention so bad you posted me to not one, but two subreddits.

Makes a girl feel special! 🤣

I have actually never seen Wikipedia cited as a source about endogenic plurality. Though I do see anti-endos all the time, when asked for sources, telling people to just Google things.

Anyway, here's @guardianssystem's document filled with academic papers about endogenic plurality:

I've compiled my own, but honestly, theirs is better organized than mine.

And in the interest of fairness, here are all the anti-endo papers debunking endogenic plurality:

Sorry, I forgot. Those don't exist. Oops. 🤷‍♀️

Echo chamber? LOL!

Weren't you the one spouting a bunch of lies on Tumblr, got totally debunked, posted the people who debunked you to r/systemscringe to have a hugbox where fakeclaimers could assure you how the people who contradicted you are all fakers, and then blocked everyone who disagreed with you?

Weren't you also the one who, when shown a quote from an expert in dissociative disorders who worked on the DSM-5 saying that a disorder isn't a disorder if it doesn't cause distress, argued that the people who defined what disorder are must be wrong about that definition?

You're a misinformation machine who can only find support when huddled in cringe subreddits. Don't try to talk about people in echo chambers.

Also, you know most of psychology is just... listening to people? That's how it's been as long as the field existed. DID (or MPD at the time) was a recognized disorder since long before the first brain scans were conducted on DID patients. It's saying something though when basically every single scientist who has ever researched endogenic plurality has said they believe it's a real thing, or that it could be. While absolutely zero academic papers have expressed that it's fake.

There is also an fMRI study into tulpa systems that's been in the works, but results have yet to be published.

Sure, if that's what you'd like me to call you, Crazy. 😊

Anyway, Crazy, you should know that just because you personally find something scary doesn't mean everyone will or that the thing is bad. Personal preferences are a thing.

In a study of tulpamancers though, most generally reported their lives becoming better after the practice.

78% reported improvements in their mental health, and 91% on overall life.

There are many out there who would jump at the chance to have someone there with them that knows them intimately, and to never have to be alone again.

If it's not for you, then so be it.

But it's certainly not something to be afraid of.

And maybe, for those who are willing to commit to the practice while America struggles with an epidemic of loneliness, it's something worth being open to.

This is actually pretty fair.

But that's now, and I'm looking at course of history and trends of plural acceptance.

300 years ago, any plural would be viewed as demon possessed and end up tortured or killed for their plurality.

70 years ago, all plurality was seen as a mental illness, and it was common to force plurals, as well as anyone else associated with mental illnesses, into asylums.

30 years ago, the first real plural communities were able to connect on the internet and form in small numbers.

8 years ago, the first studies into endogenic plurality started being conducted. 4 years ago, the ICD-11 acknowledged that you could have multiple distinct personality states without a disorder. 2023 marked the first, but certainly not the last, time a system used their system name as an author of an academic paper.

Recently, new plural resources have been designed and put into use. More servers than ever are using Pluralkit. And Simply Plural went from 100k users at the end of 2021 to 210k at the end of 2022.

Progress is happening far more rapidly than you realize. And you had best be ready for it.

BOO! 👻

Oh, hey, I just realized... this is literal pluralphobia!

Liberté!

Egalité!

Fraternité!

And yes, The Future is Plural! 😜

[inchidentally]

Why do you think Max f protect Lando like his children? Do you think he does it because he saw how Lando struggled in f1 and couldn't just stand there and watch?? 🤔

oh anon idk how much Lando/Max F lore you know but Max has been Lando's protector from day one. Lando was teeeeeny tiny for his age up until like 19?? so Max was bigger than him up until around then. I'm still learning a lot about them as I go but Max's protective instincts toward Lando run extremely deep. it's why I can't decide if they're more common law husbands, platonic soulmates or each other's weird gamer racing gremlin guardian angels.

I think for me one of the biggest standouts for me about their bond is how much Lando wanted to look after Max when Max left racing for good. because when you read about Max's particular struggles, it's like hearing Lando all over again:

Getting bad results each weekend was just having more of a knock-on effect on my mental health. Normally, I’d say that’s one of my strengths through a championship. That’s how I’ve been able to win titles, I’m able to stay calm under pressure and I don’t let many things get to me but when you have a bad qualifying result and you see guys up there that you know you’re capable of beating, it definitely takes a dig at you inside and it’s been a lot to process throughout the year. -- As soon as more thoughts come into your head, it gets worse, then you start panicking, over-driving, and it all goes wrong. I think a lot of the pressure is in your head, but it does get to a point where it just all piles on you. [source]

it's got to mean the world to have a best mate who can completely and openly identify with exactly what you're feeling - esp since they're each now looking at racing from the inside and the outside.

what I find interesting is that Max was just as much of a hyper competitive kid as everyone who came up through that system and from what I can tell he performed strongly enough to easily assume he could make F1 (but he doesn't seem to have assumed that) so him taking to this tiny kid with all these little quirks who was absolutely dusting boys older than him, idk that's just something special about Max. he comes across as kind of gruff or misanthropic at first but he's extremely emotionally intelligent and self-aware - he's always the one to open up and be vulnerable to Lando and unlike Lando he doesn't squirm or make jokes when things get serious. it sounds like I know the guy super well which obv I don't but idk, it just feels like Max is an easygoing but also extremely loyal guy - especially with Lando.

anyway I'm not enough of an authority on nortrell and if anyone wants to add to this please do <3 but yea

side note I always love how in this video we get a sort of funny confirmation that Max approves of Oscar as temporary guardian of Lando. but then I get a little emotional and serious about that bc Lando has cited precisely Oscar's ability to stay calm and not let things pile on top of him as something he's reminded to do for himself. and that Oscar quickly observed Lando and after only a couple months (or maybe even just a month) as his teammate realized that patience and loyalty are what make Lando feel the most relaxed and comfortable with someone. he's adorable and fun w the friends who make him laugh all the time and swat him down when he gives them attitude. but as a self-described shy kid who's also hyperactive, you can see the difference between Lando alone with Max and Lando with other friends. and well, Oscar spent years before his McLaren contract watching that dynamic so. makes sense he'd get the nod of approval from Lando's closest friend <3

[susiephone]

Or, a crash course in checking your sources. Because we've all seen some absolutely bullshit stuff spread around the internet, and Tumblr definitely isn't immune to it.

It can be hard to sort out the fact from the rumor from the propaganda when a story is actively developing, especially one that is fast-moving and has a lot of voices coming in from all sides, but it is vitally important that you check your sources before spreading a claim.

It's easier to verify or disprove a claim about something that's purported to have happened in the past, so, admittedly, checking stuff that's purported to be happening now is a messy, confusing process. All the more reason to err on the side of caution.

I am not a journalist or professional researcher or historian or anything like that, so this is all coming from a layman who does their best to be informed. If I get anything wrong, or anyone more qualified has something they want to add, please let me know in the notes.

Why should I check my sources?

Because you should care whether you're spreading propaganda or not.

Because sometimes in the heat of the moment, when emotions are running high, it's easy to be misled.

Because every time you spread misinformation to help your own cause, even - or especially! - if that cause is righteous, it becomes a ding on your credibility, and the credibility of your cause.

Because when you don't, a journalist loses their wings. Probably. Fact-check me on that.

How do I know when to check my sources?

If you don't recognize the source, check it.

If you hear a claim and think, "Wow, that is so cartoonishly evil," or, "That's so absurd I'd think it was far fetched if it was in a movie," or, "It's weird no mainstream outlets are reporting on this," check it.

Now, a claim sounding too bizarre or evil to be real doesn't always mean it isn't--I mean, half of what I hear about George Santos sounds like an SNL sketch and it always ends up true. But check it.

If the claim sounds like something a Nazi would want you to believe, check it.

If a claim is only being spread by one or two small sources, check it.

How do I check my sources?

The following sites are great resources for fact-checking.

PolitiFact. Ranks claims on a truth-o-meter and provides context for what's true, mostly true, kinda true, and made-up.

Media Bias/Fact Check: Publishes lists of fact checks from other credible sources, and ranks media outlets on their bias and trustworthiness.

Climate Feedback: Verifies claims about science, especially climate change.

Lead Stories: Verifies claims as they develop, especially stuff spreading on social media.

Here is a list of sources Media Bias/Fact Check considers to be the least biased.

What are some red flags to search for? / What are some questions I should ask myself?

Does the claim only come from a handful of small sources?

Do all those sources only cite each other?

It bears repeating: does this claim sound especially sensational or over-the-top? I know it sounds basic, but when you're furious at somebody (be it a person or a government or a system), it can be easy to believe every horrible thing you hear about them. But just because someone is awful doesn't mean every rumor about them doing awful things is true, and you still have a responsibility to keep your criticism accurate.

Who provides funding to the source? Do they work off of grants, reader donations and subscriptions, government backing, private donors? Do they not disclose their funding at all?

Has the source been caught spreading false info before? How long ago was this? Did they issue a correction in a timely manner? Was the journalist who spread the false claim fired or otherwise reprimanded? Does it seem like it was a mistake, or was there an agenda at play? Has the source taken steps to reestablish credibility?

Who benefits from me believing this?

Okay, I did all my fact-checking, and I'm really not sure if this claim is true or not.

Then don't share it.

If more information comes out and it turns out to be true, then go ahead.

But if there's doubt, don't share it.

Okay, sure, but the claim sounds like it could be true, and-

"Could be true" and "is true" are not the same.

Fine, but the person or government it's talking about has already done so many awful things, even if this specific rumor isn't true-

DON'T. SHARE. IT.

I am going to come to your house and bite you.

Further information.

How to fact-check like a pro.

The Psychology of Fact-Checking.

What is fact-checking?

Misinformation (YouTube video)

And there we go! If anyone has anything to add, go ahead, but I will be monitoring the comments and will be blocking any nonsense.

There's enough misinformation spread by bad actors in our current media landscape. Please don't make their job any easier.

[olderthannetfic]

Long post coming in which I look at the alleged examples of racism the EndOTWRacism campaign cites.

I'm sympathetic to EndOTWRacism, I really am, and I think some of the things they're asking for are broadly reasonable (diversity consultant, more admin tools --though not in the time frame being asked for).

But reading through their examples of supposedly "obviously" racist works is...something.

They love to cite that transformers fic about George Floyd, but that fic had zero hits when it was found and was posted anonymously. I understand it's offensive, but frankly, there is nothing in that summary that suggests the author was being deliberately offensive, and because it's gone now, we cannot see the fic to decide for ourselves. Stitch calls the author a "known racist troll" but offers no source for this beyond a link to a completely innocuous unrelated fic.

Stitch also cites one instance of readers finding a racist fic, leaving critical comments on that fic, and then being assailed with racial slurs by the author as evidence of harassment. That's... a nonsense accusation. If you go into a space you know will upset you, post things that will upset others, and then get upset by how those others respond, you are not being harassed. I don't know what you expected to happen. You are overall correct in what you are saying, but arguing with people in the comments of a fic is not activism.

Stitch also references a Holocaust a/b/o fic and Dr. Pande's response. I don't know how you read what Pande said and come out thinking they were the good guy here. Pande was absolutely harassing that author. They posted repeated comments on that fic after they were deleted, after the author explained their reasoning. Pande didn't like this reasoning and so continued to comment. Also, the author did not want to get Pande fired. That's just a lie. The screenshot to the tweet accusing the author of this makes it extremely clear the author did not want to get Pande fired.

Stitch cites one incident without actually citing it in which someone was told by AO3 not to harass an allegedly racist author. Source needed, but based on the other examples they cite I can make an educated guess here.

Perhaps most telling of these examples is the one in which someone impersonates Stitch in the comments of a fic. Other users proceed to criticize fake Stitch. Despite no mention of race in their responses, Stitch accuses the responders of being racist. This example makes it very clear that Stitch views anyone who disagrees with them about fanfiction to be racist, regardless of whether race is brought up or not. The only way to examine race in fandom without being racist is by agreeing with Stitch.

The hockey fic example offers no evidence that things happened as stated. No screenshots, no links. If other people cannot verify what you claim, you should not be citing it in your campaign.

It is very hard to take this campaign seriously when Stitch, who I was only vaguely familiar with before this, is the primary source. They repeatedly misrepresent situations in order to fit their narrative of victimhood, lie outright when the source is right fucking there, and seek out harmful content then get upset when they are harmed.

The campaign also appears to be using Stitch's questionable methods outright. See how they discuss AO3's admittedly sloppy June 2020 post about addressing racism. This campaign argues that AO3 has not implemented any of the promised features except for blocking, which is an absurd argument if you actually read the post from AO3. Of the six stated changes, two have been implemented (comment controls and blocking), two are too nebulous to say whether they've been done (reassessing warnings and reviewing ToS), one I'm not sure about (has collection searching improved?), and one (improving admin tools) is an actionable thing that has apparently not been implemented.

Maybe they did review their ToS and archive warnings and just came to the conclusion that they were fine as they are. I have no idea, and apparently neither does this campaign.

Anyway. I find this all frustrating. There are real issues to address here, somewhere, but this campaign buries them beneath layers of bullshit. Reading through their Call to Action and FAQ multiple times feels like reading any other bullshit fandom call-out post. They cite misrepresented or non-existent sources, outright lie, and frame those they disagree with in the worst light they can.

I implore anyone reading this to examine the campaign's posts and look closely at their sources. Decide for yourself what is going on here, don't just take the campaign's word for it.

--

[bp-zb1fics]

hi! i love how you write bp trainee!reader fics and i was like ‘omg imagine jay x g group trainee!reader’ so i came here to request something. i wanted to request jay chang confessing to g group!reader during the boys planet finale, or something a long the lines of that. i wanted to see your take on how he would confess to someone, you can always switch up the plot or even ignore this ask if you don’t want to write it! <3

If this was a movie

pairing: jay x g group reader

genre: canon, fluff

tw/tags: lots of pining, confessions, a kiss or two, some swears, jay kinda dramatic and very in denial, kamden, matthew, ricky best wingmen, a lil hui vs jay action but not really 

wc: 1731

summary: it’s the sleepover night before the finale and jay has something to tell you.

a/n Hi! First of all thank you so much for this lovely request, it was an utter pleasure to write and I really enjoyed it and I hope you will too! I'm always a sucker for canon fics because it's so fun to take the show we all know and love and hate sometimes bc mnet kinda shady and write about it. I've lifted lines directly from the sleepover segment from episode 12, just be citing my sources. I definitely would have included reader/ mc/ y/n's pov but ended up keeping it to jay's pov for some reason, idk maybe it's like writer brain. If anyone wants a "your pov" version, do let me know~ that would be a fun part 2

Check my pinned for more fics~

Italics mean it’s spoken in English.

Jay tips his head back and exaggerates his cringe, laughing along with everyone at Gunwook stealing Junhyeon’s aegyo. Only he can’t help but let his eyes linger back to you giggling quietly from where you’re leaning against Hoetaek, the elder playing with your hair. 

And even if he knows that Hoetaek is a little more familiar with the former Cube trainees like you and Matthew and Sung Hanbin, he can’t help but feel the smallest twinge of jealousy. He wanted to be close to you like that, to mess with your hair until you pout at him and he can’t help but-

“By all means, keep staring, we might as well get a neon sign that says I LIKE YOU and put it on your head.”

Kamden mumbles from beside him, effectively snapping him out of his maladaptive daydreaming. 

“Oh my god dude, shut up.”

He hisses, still keeping one eye on you as you lean into Hoetaek’s touch. Think positive, Jay. Even if you're also a fellow English speaker, at least you’re far away enough that you probably won’t overhear them. Ricky snickers from his other side.

“You’re so subtle, man.”

He levels them a look. It’s their last night, can’t he get a break?

“It’s our last night Jay, you know, you should tell them.”

Apparently not. 

He looks up and Kamden manages to look even more unimpressed than he usually does, head tilting a little more than 45° for emphasis.

“Nah, it’s cool, besides, they’re definitely not into me.”

Jay deflects, ignoring the sinking feeling that begins to take hold. 

“You don’t know that.”

“I’m pretty sure I do.”

“Just try.”

“You’re being very persistent today, Kam, I dunno, it’s kinda sus.”

Before Kamden can fire back, the whole conversation about memorable first impressions turns around and bites Jay in the ass because the universe loves messing with him.

“So who was your best first impression, Jay-ah?” 

Suddenly everyone’s looking at him expectantly. Kamden and Ricky look like they already know and Jay knows that they know that the answer sitting at the tip of his tongue is just across the room, Hoetaek’s arm around their shoulder. Still, Jay hesitates.

He’s had a crush on you ever since the Star Level test. You had immediately caught his attention walking in. Sure, there were perfect visuals like Jiwoong and Hanbin but you were the most attractive person he’s ever seen. And you were talented, Jay could swear your performance was one of the best but Kamden’s convinced that he’s just biased.

But even though you’re both from G-group, you’ve always ended up in different teams, leaving Jay with not that many opportunities to talk with you. When he does end up around you, he just can’t, defaulting to his usual over the top expressions for laughs. While he’s always thought of himself as a confident person, he just finds himself fumbling around you. It doesn’t help that you seem to stick to Hoetaek or Sung Hanbin or one of your team members. You’re friendly with each other, sure, but nothing more than that. 

Right, back to the question.

“The person I remember the most is Yujin.”

He immediately feels the collective disappointment that emanates from his corner of the room as the rest of the trainees react, Matthew even sitting up to hit him with some bombastic side-eye. He pretends he doesn’t hear Kamden sighs, doing an impression of Yujin which looks more like a possession honestly. The others laugh. Jongwoo’s comment is the crutch he needs to limp away as he holds Yujin in check as competition.

Of course, it wouldn’t be that easy.

“For me, as soon as I heard Jay sing, I felt like I was in trouble.” 

Hoetaek speaks up and Jay forces himself into another exaggerated look of surprise and shoves down the ugly feeling that jumps out at the way you hug one of Hoetaek’s arms. 

“Your competitor?” One of them jokes.

Not just in singing, Jay thinks.

“But you did watch Love Me Right, hyung?” Jongwoo asks. Jay really wants this conversation to move on.

“It was so hard to watch Love Me Right.” He watches as Hoetaek shifts so that you can lean more comfortably.

“That’s not the only thing that’s hard to watch right now.” Ricky breathes out. Now Kamden and Matthew are snickering.

Just smile, Jay. 

“Honestly, I wanted to give up when I saw you, hyung.” He manages to grit out without giving himself away, hopefully. 

Everyone laughs and Jay desperately sends a prayer to the universe to let his pain end. Ironically, it’s Kamden and Matthew who come to his rescue.

“Actually, I’m curious about something. Did I give off an American vibe?”

The conversation swerves towards Matthew’s imitation of Kamden, the apparently routine mispronunciation of Jiwoong’s name and Kamden’s impressive first impression of Ricky’s hair.

By the time they move on to Keita’s first meeting with Zhang Hao, Jay thinks he’s in the clear.

He's not.

Kamden proceeds to smack his arm and he meets eyes with Matthew whose usual bright smile was beginning to border on shit-eating grin territory.

“If you didn’t notice, they’ve been looking at you the whole time we were talking.” Kamden says lowly, Matthew nodding in agreement.

“Nah, you’re capping.”

“No, for real, Kam and I were literally right here giving some top-tier content and all they could see was you.” Matthew insisted.

“That doesn’t mean anything.”

“It definitely means something.” Ricky counters because he was apparently listening in on them the whole time while everyone else watched Jiwoong wax poetry over Hao’s violin playing. Jay shakes his head.

“It really doesn’t.”

Kamden looks like he wants to jump on him and start shaking some sense in. Matthew sighs. Ricky just shrugs and lies back down.

“Ah well, we’ll have to see then. I didn’t let Kam slander my hair and my catchphrase for nothing.”

After having to spectate the absolute trainwreck of awkwardness that is Zhang Hao and Kum Junhyeon, there’s the slightest chill that goes down Jay’s spine that he ignores, figuring it must be the weather.

It was definitely not the weather. He should have run while he still had a chance.

“Actually, there’s another pair I want to see.” Matthew speaks up. Suddenly he feels Kamden and Ricky both watching him like hawks as if he’s going to bolt any second now.

After Matthew names you and him, Jay actually wants to bolt. Kamden and Ricky are extremely helpful in explaining to the others the minimal interactions you two have had as the “least close trainees in G-group.” You look like a deer in headlights as Hoetaek gently shoves you towards the middle of the room, whispering something to you before he goes back to his spot. 

“Wah they’re both so red.” Jay becomes acutely aware of how much his cheeks are burning as he sits across you. You don’t seem to be any better, making eye contact before looking literally anywhere else.

Well, might as well get over it so he can go back and die of embarrassment.

“Uh, the first time I saw you was during the Star Level test. I thought you were very talented.”

Damn, when did Korean become so hard? Maybe it was the way your hands were holding his, can you feel how fast his pulse is racing? Okay Jay, you can do this, just speedrun it.

“And I really liked the song you performed, it really fit your voice. Your stage outfit was also very pr- very noticeable, it made you stand out. And I really wanted to get to know you more but we were in different groups all the time which really sucked and you don’t know how many times I wished you chose Home so we could perform together or the Star Creators would put us both in Over me and I understand, you’re really perfect for the concepts of your songs and it’s crazy how much I like you, seriously so crazy.”

Pin-drop silence. Three things, in order, that Jay realises.

Speedrunning this might not have been the best idea.

Switching to English midway through the conversation is a skill that he didn’t know he was capable of considering his level of Korean would definitely be more byelingual than actual, intelligent multilingual like Matthew.

He might have confessed his feelings to you. No actually, he did. Fuck, now would be a great time to get on the next plane and fly off to the States and cry to Beomhan for a month. Forget debuting, he’d settle for a nice normal life without the evil editing and the screen time robbing and the utter stress of eliminations.

But before Jay can actually bolt, you speak up.

“Uh- uhm…” You look so unsure that it freezes him there, seated in front of you, holding your hands like it’s his last lifeline.

“I really like you too.”

Everyone gasps and begins murmuring quietly.

“Wait, my English is bad, what are they saying?”

“Finally, they’ve confessed, I knew it.”

“Wait who confessed?”

“That was like an American romance movie, wow.”

Then the clapping starts. Jay tears his eyes away from you for one second to look at Kamden in utter disbelief. His co-conspirators don’t miss a beat.

“Congratulations, you finally did it! Thank fuck.”

“Be happy together, you two!”

And because Ricky apparently wasn’t satisfied with the slander he had put himself through.

“Now kiss.”

Which turned into a chant because even the trainees who didn’t speak English fluently knew what they were talking about. Someone even helpfully throws a blanket over Yujin to protect his eyes.

Jay turns back and finds you giggling. While it looks like embarrassment, now he could feel the way your fingers interlocked with his, your eyes flitting to his lips. The chanting becomes background noise as he leans in, pressing his lips against yours firmly.

Fireworks explode in the background as you pull away.

Everyone applauds with the occasional whistling, oohing as Jay tugs you to sit between his legs, Ricky graciously scooting over to make space.

Kamden claps him on the back and Matthew flashes both of you a thumbs up.

God, he loves hates these guys.

As the conversation settles back down and everyone decides to actually sleep, you sneak another kiss before cuddling up to his side.

Jay smiles. Maybe this is a movie.

[matan4il]

I don't know if you source news from asks, but here's one. Canada always raises the flag of countries we have diplomatic relations with in Ottawa, our capital, on their independence day--and this year the public ceremony for the Israeli one has been cancelled. https://www.thecanadianpressnews.ca/national/ottawa-cancels-public-ceremony-for-israeli-flag-raising-citing-security-concerns/article_161bc224-8d59-50e9-81a2-97235341796f.html 'Security concerns.' They won't even admit to why there are security concerns, just cancel a ceremony for the Jewish population.

Hi Nonnie!

Thank you for this link. I haven't heard it on the news here yet, though I imagine soon enough it'll get reported, because this is so fucked up.

This is literally giving in to bullies. "Oh, you're threatening our Jewish population and our relationship with the Jewish state? Not by talking us into believing you're right, but by threatening violence? We'll just give you exactly what you want, then. This coping tactic has NEVER backfired ever in history, and bullies always relent after you give them a finger, they never continue demanding the whole hand..."

If there truly are security concerns, and that's logical, then... raise your security investment in this event, don't cancel it. Don't reward bullies and threats of violence, because you WILL get more of that. And certainly don't cancel such an event before even consulting the local Jewish community, for which it is so meaningful. Because yeah, I'm gonna let you in on an (easy to guess) secret: as an Israeli, I never knew this ceremony is even taking place. I'm not on a personal level gonna cry over it being canceled, because it was never something I realized I "had." And even as it's taken away, I'm well aware that Israel will continue to thrive despite this, and that a canceled flag ceremony is not more important than us finishing off Hamas, getting our hostages back, and taking care of our civilians' safety. But will the Jewish Canadian community continue to thrive, when it sees this? THAT is what they should have asked themselves, before taking this dumb step and surrendering to antisemitic goons.

It's despicable. It's exactly what's been happening on college campuses as well, and it WILL breed more hatred and violence, first towards Jews, and then towards anyone else the Jihadis don't like. For example, if it was so easy to vilify Israel, why not vilify regular Iranians, who want to see their Islamist regime removed, next? And one day, people will be sitting in a college campus class, trying to understand where it all went wrong. The answer will be these small steps, one at a time. The wilful surrender to bullies and violence.

I hope you're okay, Nonnie! Please take care, and know that Israelis, each one of us who will hear about this, we'll be thinking of you and supporting you as much as we can from afar! xoxox

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)

[copperbadge]

Hi Sam! I’m really interested in what you said about taking an adderall before socializing so that you don’t have to spend the next several days agonizing about the awkward shit you said. I’ve never heard anyone talk about that as a benefit before.

Is it because taking it makes you less likely to say the awkward shit at all? Or because it just makes you less likely to fixate on it later? I mean, either way sounds pretty good, I’m just curious and intrigued.

Yeah, it's pretty fascinating. I'm going to try to put this in coherent order but there is a lot going on here, so let's start with the disclaimer that a lot of this is anecdotal or based in casual research, so I don't have sources to cite, but you should be able to google and explore for yourself.

SHORT VERSION: Adderall doesn't alter my behavior, at least as far as I can tell; it might somewhat inhibit my bad habit of interrupting, but that’s not why I take it. I take it because it prevents me from reacting emotionally to awkward moments in a social situation or remembering those moments later. The result is that instead of thinking "Oh, that thing I did was super awkward" and obsessing over it, when it probably wasn't awkward and if it was nobody remembers it anyway, I just don't have any strong emotion attached to it so I don't remember and feel bad about it later.

It's like if the color red constantly burned your eyes, and you could take a drug that would turn down the saturation. You still see the color, but now you see it the way everyone else sees it, and it doesn't hurt anymore.

The long version is...more complex, but I'm including it because I want to talk about why this maybe happens.

The reason I have such fraught emotions surrounding socializing is that I have Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, which is a common aspect of ADHD. It's not the only reason one might obsessively relive embarrassing moments, but if you have ADHD, RSD is the likely cause. RSD is linked to poor emotional regulation which derives from a deficiency in executive function. So this whole family of ADHD symptoms -- poor focus, poor short-term memory, time blindness -- all come from a basic failure of executive function, and so does RSD. And luckily for me, my poor executive function can be treated with stimulants (some people, even people with ADHD, don’t respond well to them). 

Even though RSD seems dissimilar to other aspects of ADHD, because the stimulant addresses a neurological root cause, anything stemming from that cause is, to some degree, alleviated by the medication. 

RSD can manifest in various ways. I'm generally fine when I'm present in a social situation, but I struggle to resolve shame and anxiety around past behavior. I have spent a lot of time worrying that people who, let's be clear, I know love and respect me, have finally had enough of me and something I said or did was the last straw. I know intellectually this is not the case and I have spent my adult life striving to remind myself of that so that I don’t come off as a needy creep who constantly has to be reassured of other peoples’ affections. Emotionally, however, I was incapable of reconciling these memories. They just hung around in my brain, causing me a lot of pain and regret.

So there’s a chain reaction of saying something, realizing it may have been somewhere between "slightly weird" and "deeply upsetting", and encoding it in my memory with strong emotions of shame and fear attached to it. I then involuntarily relive those memories and the emotions attached to them afterward -- usually only for a few days, but depending on the event, sometimes off and on for years. I suspect this derives from our very early ancestors, who had to hard-code dangerous situations into their memories so if they encountered them again they'd recognize them as dangerous. My brain simply encodes every social interaction as having a fairly high level of danger. This situation is fucking life-threatening, don't go near one again or you'll feel like this forever. Except in my case "this situation" is not dangerous, it's just a dinner party with friends or a meeting with a colleague or a first date. 

It seems that the Adderall switches off that instinct to categorize social interaction as inherently dangerous by allowing me to regulate my emotions. If I’m not feeling fear in the moment -- because there’s no reason to be afraid! -- then my brain doesn’t categorize the moment as dangerous, and won’t remember it negatively later. I won’t really remember it at all. So my memories go from “A dinner party where I said three terrible things that I feel shame over” to “A dinner party where I had some really nice conversations.” Do I remember the conversations? Not in detail, and that’s fine. That’s how memory is supposed to work. 

And now, because I know if I take an Adderall half an hour before a party starts I won’t feel shame or fear after the party ends, I’m even more capable of relaxing and enjoying myself, meaning I’m even less likely to feel negative emotions that would cause me to remember things with shame later. I just thought shame was a price you paid for socializing; I knew the amount I felt wasn’t right, but I thought everyone else just put up with some amount of it. But no, it turns out when your brain isn’t constantly looking for a fucking lion trying to eat you in the middle of cocktail hour, the reason people go out and socialize is that it’s...fun to do. And it turns out when I’m not subconsciously terrified that I’m about to be drowned in quicksand, I actually form fond and positive memories of things. 

Which is a little wild to be experiencing for the first time at the age of 43, but better late than never. And it means that while I still struggle a great deal with emotional intimacy, I’m much, much more capable of maintaining social contacts and deepening friendships because my friends can see and talk to me face-to-face and I can enjoy my time with them more. 

[dogbunni]

i think something fascinating is how nendou is supposed to be too dumb to notice anything but really? a lot of times he does notice quite a lot (especially when it's about Saiki), he just tends to either not question it, or drops it as soon as Saiki or someone else disagrees.

Like when Saiki was standing up for him when he was accused of stealing his classmate's purses, Nendou *knew* Saiki was somehow involved simply because he saw him stare angrily at Takahashi.

When Saiki's dad was replacing Saiki at the surprise party, or Toritsuka was standing in for him, Nendou was always the first to notice.

It's also interesting how he always manages to happen to be helpful to Saiki in a way? His likeability has to drop? Let's give him a hug. There's too much attention on Saiki bc he was good at judo? Nendou makes it so all the attention is on himself. There's bugs in Saiki's house? Well good that bug-crushing Nendou is there! The Newspaper Club bothers Saiki? Well...Nendou at least tries to get rid of him. A literal bookshelf falls on Saiki? Nendou takes the hit for him AND THEN ASKS HIM IF HE'S OK.

And as much as Saiki acts all disgusted, he does see the good in him. The first thing Saiki does when Saiko is about to leave is get Nendou to talk to him bc he knows he's good tlat that sort of stuff. When those girls are inviting him on a fake date Saiki WRITES HIM A SWEET NOTE bc he doesn't want it to break his heart.

I just-

i can't ok-

too many feelings-

I've been looking at this ask for hours I just keep coming back and reading it again.

nendo truthers we are so valid and also honorary members of PK academy

but also. YES ALL OF THIS. I've been SAYING nendo may be book dumb but he has high stat in wisdom. part of the reason why I ship him and saiki is bc they compliment each other that way. like saiki is a genius, but he's also a dumbass. he (despite literally reading minds) just doesn't really GET people. he goes about trying to be normal in the least normal way. and then nendo will not know basic math but still say the most beautiful and profound things when only mildly provoked. I'm too tired to cite sources rn but if anyone else has screenshots to hand. gimme.

anyway. I literally have a one shot in the works about this topic. just nendo dropping some sweet words of wisdom on saiki without even really realising how sage and intelligent he's being and saiki's life being forever changed (for the better) by it. thank u <3

[whomadewaffles]

Pjhazel incorrect qoutes Part 2!

this one feels more pj-centric so...sorry to the haters, but I think she's amazing so.

As last time, long post under the cut, sorry for not citing the sources, bad language and raunchy humour abound ect ect.. enjoy!

--------

Hazel: Pspspsps

Pj *walking over to her*: What are you doing idiot, trying to call a cat?

Hazel *frantically taking notes*: Holy shit it worked

*note: to me, Hazel is dog coded, and pj is very cat coded*

-------

*Hazel has a date with a girl at school, and pj is having a normal one about it*

Josie *gasps*:...You're JEALOUS!

Pj *clearly jealous*: I am NOT jealous. And I'll tell you why I'm jealous - Because I'm not jealous!

josie: You're not making any sense.

Pj:  - Oh and all of a sudden you're the President of Things that Make Sense?!

-------

Pj *talking to Mr .G with the club about the next meeting or something*

Pj: Cool, thanks, dad

*everyone staring at her*

Pj: Why is everyone staring at me?

Isabel: You just called Mr .G “dad”.

Pj: *scoffs* No, I didn’t, I said thanks, man.

Mr G: Do you see me as a father figure, girl?

Pj: No! If anything, I see you as a bother figure cause you’re always bothering me.

Josie *not one to miss out on messing with her best friend a little*: Hey! Show your father some respect.

Pj: I didn’t call him dad!

-------

Hazel *carves "pj + Hazel" into a tree*

Pj: What a nerd.

Pj *adds "4ever"*

_______

Hazel: We should get you to a doctor for a check up immediately. What if it happens again, and there isn’t anyone around to help you? What if it’s congenital? Oh my God! Was it me? Did I hurt you?

Pj: …You realize any other person that made their partner pass out in bed would simply feel really proud of themselves, right?

--------

*Hiking*

Hazel: Mother nature is beautiful

Pj *panting trying to catch her breath*: MOTHER NATURE IS A WHORE!!!!

-------

Pj: relax, Principle meyers won’t be able to trace this back to us.

Josie: Are you for real? He traces everything back to us! He traces things we haven’t even done back to us!

-------

Pj: You're wearing make-up.

Hazel: Oh, it's just eyeliner. Do you like it?

Pj: ... Looks okay... I guess.

*later*

Pj *freaking out to josie later*: she looked so good.

Josie: I know.

Pj: I'm so gay.

Josie: I know...

---------

Pj: Being horny 24/7 and a virgin is not for the weak.

------

Hazel: Do you even have a self-care routine?

Pj: "Keep going bitch" said to myself in different accents.

--------

Pj : Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality.

Pj: I'm a gorgeous hot mess.

--------

Hazel: Sometimes I worry I'm being awkward, but then I remember it's half my charm, so I redouble my efforts immediately.

--------

Hazel: Things look a little tense.

Pj: Don't worry, I'm gonna open with a joke.

Hazel: Please don't.

-------

Pj: But now they come for my girl?

Pj: My sweet, defenseless hazel?

Hazel: ...

Hazel: …I know how to make bombs.. I have 16 taekwondo medals, and I'm the best fighter in the club?! I killed someone with a football helmet?!

------

Pj: Good news! I didn’t screw up!

Hazel: …

Pj: I screwed up less badly than usual!

Hazel: …

Pj: Screwed up with less immediate consequences than usual

---------

Pj: *drunk and hitting HEAVILY on Hazel*

Hazel *blushing*: Usually, I would love to take you up on the offer, pj, but you're too drunk to consent...

Stella-Rebecca: Aww, that's sweet, Hazel. I'm sure pj appreciates that you don't want to take advantage of her.

Pj: THE HELL I DO!

---------

*pj driving with hazel in the passenger seat*

Pj: I'd be really lost without you, Hazel.

Hazel: Pj! That's so sweet, I'd be lost without you aswell.

Pj: No, no, literally, where the fuck are we.

--------

Pj: Would you still love me?

Hazel: ...If what?

Pj: *voice cracking* No, that was the question..

*note: its pj's abandonment issues coming through*

_______

Pj: the power of women's history month is coursing through your veins

Mr.G: Women's histordeez nuts!

-------

*Warning: this is an ANGSTY one, my friends- don't worry, they work it out. As a sidenote; watch the scott pilgrim show if you haven't already. It's so good*

Pj: the truth is, I was too afraid to face you and my feelings

Hazel *angrily*: So you left without a word?!

Hazel: You made me feel like nothing.

Hazel: You we're afraid? Good for you!

Hazel: All I ever wanted was for you to see me.

Pj *holds back tears knowing she fucked up badly*

-----

Hazel: No, I'm not tired of being nice. Yes, I still just wanna go apeshit. These things can coexist, stop asking me.

------

Hazel: my kink is saying something incredibly corny and watching you speed run the five stages of grief as you realize with horror you still want to fuck me.

Pj *pillow over her face*: I am begging you, Hazel, please get a new kink…

------

Pj: Hazel figured out she can sneakily stick a note on someone’s back.

Pj: But she doesn’t know they should say things like “kick me”, so they just have cat facts on them.

------

Hazel: You idiot!

Pj: I’m sure you’re right, but why?!

------

Brittney: Can you come collect your freak of a girlfriend please, she's doing things

Hazel: No.

Hazel: I set her loose on purpose, she needed enrichment.

-------

Isabel: Ever since you started dating, you've become really nice and kind to Hazel. It's sweet

Pj: Well, duh, I'm not stupid. You don't bite the hand that fingers you, or whatever the saying is.

_______

Pj: I need bitches, how to I get bitches wise one 🙏🙏🙏

Rhodes: Well, first off, you gotta stop calling them that, girl.

---------

Pj: It's nice to see you again.

Hazel: Are you talking to my cooch?

Pj: Yes.

---------

Pj: Vulnerability is like so hard. If I told you anything sappy, Hazel, please know that I had to do hand to hand combat with seven layers of embarrassment, regression, and abandonment issues.

--------

Hazel: Pj, people love you and care about you whether you like it or not. I love you whether you like it or not. And no matter how hard you try to push me away, I'm not going anywhere. So just get used to it, okay?

-------

Pj: I guess I’m just a bad person.

Hazel: No, you’re not a bad person. You’re a terrific person. You’re my favorite person. But sometimes you can be a real asshole.

_____

[rabbiteclair]

I'm super interested in the paranormal/cryptid post- where did you find the stuff about Japanese and US paranormal encounters? Finding a pattern in encounters like these is something I've always been curious about.

(repeating all the disclaimers from this post, which means that among other things, this isn't gonna give you many historical accounts, and it's very focused on the kind of people who wanna throw their accounts out onto the internet.)

The Japanese Side

The big one I might as well get out of the way up front: Kowabana. The site's got some stories, others exist in podcast form, but the books themselves are up to 12 volumes of translated stuff from 2chan's occult board, the vast majority of which is in the format of first-person accounts of supernatural encounters. If you know any Japanese internet horror stuff, this is where 3/4 of it came from--Hasshaku-sama, kunekune, Kisaragi Station, etc.

(If you aren't solely focused on the 'first-person account' thing, Tara Devlin's parallel Toshiden and Bankai series cover most of the rest.)

Other people have translated this stuff over the years, with wildly varying levels of quality. Saya in Underworld and Okaruto are some of the ones I've found useful in the past.

If you can read Japanese, there are quite a few sites that collect and curate this stuff, and then other sites that aggregate those sites. As an added bonus, a given story might exist in multiple different forms between these sites, and then half of the sites don't exist anymore because this stuff goes back twenty years. I've spent a decent amount of time browsing these, but couldn't give you a good list of solid ones. There is in fact a pretty decent starting list on Tara Devlin's old Tumblr.

There are some Japanese Youtube channels that document a lot of this stuff too, but tbh the only times I've watched them is when I'm about nine google searches deep looking for something, so I don't have a good list.

The American Side

I started making a list here, but it honestly wasn't much of a list. A lot of the English ones that I've encountered have come from some combination of 'wandering on the internet,' 'being on /x/ back when it was new,' and 'the story was included in some other piece of media.' (Like, Oh No Ross And Carrie is probably the single place where I've heard the most accounts of UFO stuff, but I'd be a weird person if I cited that as a good source for them.) Unlike the Japanese side of things, I've never had much reason to approach them in a systematic manner.

Considering that my big source for this on the Japanese side is 2chan's occult board, you'd think that 4chan's /x/ would go here, right? But nah. I mean, there are first person accounts on there, but they're nowhere near as prevalent. There are several places trying to archive /x/ stuff though, so it's out there for anyone who wants to dig through it like a trash gopher.

But, if you want your 'hundreds, if not thousands, of first-person supernatural accounts in one place' counterpart to Kowabana, the best resource on the English-speaking side that I know of is Monsters Among Us. Yeah, it's audio, but that's life. It also has really thorough show notes, which serves as a pretty good starting point for finding other resources. I'm pretty sure there's a whole ecosystem of this stuff on Youtube.

(Really though, if anybody knows of any big text repositories of English, first-person accounts of this stuff, curated to weed out the complete trash, I'd be interested in that myself.)

[fluentisonus]

Hello, sorry if you’ve already said this before, but where are you finding your folk songs? like a specific book or website? (i’m always looking to expand my collection and i have never heard of long lankin before)

thanks in advance :D

Hey!!

So originally I just got folk songs from ones I heard growing up, because my dad was fond of folk music & played me a number of bands I'm still fond of. A lot of ones I come across now are still basically from rabbit holes of songs I fell down with these.

However! If you're looking for more thorough catalogues of folk songs, the main ones you come across are:

Child Ballads -- These are only ballads. They were collected by Francis James Child in the 19th century, and they're all numbered, so if you've seen songs mentioned as like "Child 93" that's why, especially because a lot of these songs don't have consistent names. They're primarily collected in his 5 Volume book The English and Scottish Popular Ballads (Vol. 1, Vol. 2, Vol. 3, Vol. 4, Vol. 5), linked there to where you can read it for free. The great thing about these is it will list all the variations of the songs he found as well as where he found them, with a little scholarly discussion of the song and its history on each. As someone that loves like. the process of transmission & the context of songs this is very appealing to me personally. It is old fashioned in its scholarship etc though.

Roud Folk Song Index -- This is a Much larger more modern index of songs: for comparison there are only 305 child ballads, whereas the Roud Index has nearly 25,000 songs (including all the Child ones). These also have numbers, so you'll often see something like "Child 93; Roud 6" where they overlap, or "Roud 2989" where they don't. Obviously because it's so big there's no book for them all, and likewise not as much commentary on individual songs. You can search them by number here, or by subject (!!!) here. The fact that this index exists is really cool, and especially that you can search it like that, although sometimes I find it a bit hard to get what I want, or have it layed out as clearly as in Child, I think just because it's so big.

This isn't really a major index like Child and Roud so you won't get it cited anywhere, but Mainly Norfolk is an index of folk songs mainly focusing on more modern recordings of the songs and their different variations. So for example you'll get a page for a songs and it'll tell you all the bands that have recorded it, and the differences in their lyrics, and what they said about the song on the back of the CD, etc. Which is fun for me particularly because I'm often accessing them through having listened to modern recordings and I'm curious about that.

You can also find various collections of broadsides and things (Roud includes a lot of broadsides I believe but if you want to look at them specifically), one of my favorites is the Bodleian Libraries online collection, which even has images of a lot of them I believe. This is fun if you like print sources.

And then a lot of these I'm just searching in Youtube as well, haha. You never know what old man recording a song he heard from his grandmother with 10 views and 2 likes you might find.

I hope this was helpful & answered the question! I will say I don't have any sort of expertise in this, it's entirely based on me just fooling around, so if anyone more knowledgeable than me has anything to add or any corrections to make feel free!

[sophieinwonderland]

Hi! Voices & Gemstones here, I saw your reboot of my post about the phrase the future is plural and I wanted to ask something. I would send my ask off anon but it's my main blog and I'm a little ehhh about using it lol but I come in good faith

Im a trauma based system, trying to navigate syscourse and I agree the human brain can split with no trauma, I just... Struggle with the idea someone could purposely give themselves alters in the same way we've known systems to function.

Do self created systems have amnesia & memory issues too? What about issues with control of the body & fights for front? Foreign thoughts and emotions? If it's a self created system why would you create these problems? It doesn't seem possible or reasonable to us, but we can't not ask.

If life stress is what compelled someone to start a self made system then... Doesn't that count as some form of traumagenic?

And like we said way forever ago on our blog, we don't care what source you claim as long as it helps your function in life, we just

We want to understand different sources of plurality better, and you seem very passionate about education, so we wanted to ask. Thank you for your time

- Gemstone System

Thanks for the questions! 😁

Do self created systems have amnesia & memory issues too?

Nope! I mean, not generally! There's like, one guide that purports to be able to induce amnesia between headmates, but the process requires months of mental conditioning and I don't know of anyone who has actually gone through it.

I have noticed we have sort of speed bumps when trying to access someone else's memories, and our own memories often pop up in our head more easily than memories from other headmates do. But I wouldn't call that amnesia.

What about issues with control of the body & fights for front?

Sometimes.

It depends on the system though, and it's not something that I feel happens too often.

For us... by the time I was created, my host was already a mature adult. (I think with a lot of systems who are plural in childhood, the lack of maturity probably contributes to internal conflict and sets up adversarial relationships.) If I wanted to front, we could talk things out. Most of the time, he'd let me if I asked, but If he didn't want me fronting right then, we could work out a compromise so I could front later instead. It doesn't always work out perfectly. But 99% of the time, negotiation works.

Things were a bit harder in the very beginning, but we got better with thime.

Foreign thoughts and emotions?

Like, passive influence where we feel the emotions of other headmates? Yeah, we get that.

If it's a self created system why would you create these problems?

Most tulpas are created for companionship, with loneliness being a major reason cited in studies of tulpamancers.

Something that's important to understand about tulpamancers is that most don't make tulpas for the switching part. I think originally, in the very very early days long before I got here, the tulpamancy community didn't even know switching was possible, and it was something they discovered later.

How a lot of tulpas start out is purely in the inner world or imposed externally. And learning to switch often takes effort and practice. Maybe that's another reason you won't see many fights over front in the tulpa community, because switching is often an act of love, where the host is willing to dedicate their time to it just to allow their tulpas to be happy and interact with the world. It's not generally something that we'd be fighting over.

If life stress is what compelled someone to start a self made system then... Doesn't that count as some form of traumagenic?

I don't think so. At least not in the same way.

The typical traumagenic systems is a system who experiences trauma as a child. They separate this trauma and their brain tries to distance them from it. As they undergo repeated trauma, they have to return to that traumatized state and the dissociation becomes ingrained into them as a trauma response, often resulting in the presence of triggered switching once the traumatized state develops into its own entity that holds those trauma memories. At the same time, in avoiding trauma, they distance themselves from the traumatized part, creating these memory barriers.

While one could argue that loneliness is traumatic and therefore headmates created due to loneliness are traumagenic, the tulpa isn't holding traumatic memories of loneliness. They're just created to provide companionship.

Hope that helped clarify things a bit!

Have a nice day! 😁

[sapphyreopal5]

I saw that you pointed out people noticing the romantic undertones of Jensen’s post and I believe you said before that Jensen probably isn’t completely straight and I’ve thought the same thing about justin cause apparently his last ex wife “knows” things about him…… Is it possible there’s something there between Jensen and Justin? Like more than friendship?

Hello Anon, hmmmmm interesting thought. So one of my best friends and I have been talking about this possibility lately. We all know about the J2 stuff with Jared and Jensen and the tinhatters and the hellers and things like that. It's interesting that you ask about Justin and Jensen, Anon. My best friend and I were talking about this some like I mentioned earlier. I'm big on talking about things like synchronicity, divination, sometimes numerology, and other spiritual related topics. I'm passionate about discussing these kinds of things, always was and always will be. I couldn't help but notice the weird "romantic" tone in 1 of the 2 photos Jensen used to announce he is going to be on Tracker or at the very least very friendly. It's funny Jensen called him brother, but the only instance I could find of them hanging out publicly was a photo Clif posted on his Twitter on 12/31/2012 of the 3 of them out and about in Malibu.

I couldn't quite find a source for this ex wife saying that referring to Justin, which I assume you mean may be Chrishell? I am aware that Justin and Chrishell "broke up" via text with Justin informing her he had divorce papers signed, all of which supposedly side-blinding her about it. Justin married his now third wife Sofia only a few months after his divorce with Chrishell was finalized. Her former co-star and on-screen nemesis Christine Quinn apparently "lied" to the media at one point saying she heard Justin and Chrishell were in therapy before filing for divorce, which Justin cited the reason as "irreconcilable differences". Hours later, Chrishell fired back at the media while saying Christine knows nothing about their marriage. Whether she was truly side-blinded or not we will never really know. It's interesting knowing that Chrishell's last 2 men she was with didn't want children but she did, yet now is married to G Flip (who is by the way a woman) as of last May. Awful funny how Chrishell ended up marrying a woman and was also on Days of Our Lives from 2013 to 2015, hmmm... For anyone interested in a said timeline for their relationship, here it is. Point is, it's possible Chrishell said something like this off the books or indirectly as she said a lot of things while devastated about their split.

I decided to look into some things and I could not help but notice today more parallels between Jensen and Justin. I wrote here a few days ago about other parallels between Dean on Supernatural, Russell on Tracker, and even between Jensen and Justin's personal lives. I realized after making that post that both Chrishell and Jensen were on Days of Our Lives at different times; Chrishell married G Flip last May in Las Vegas (and has implied she is "bisexual" but still likes masculine energies). This might explain some things about where Jensen might've REALLY gotten the inspiration for his daughters' names from. This post here that shows Jensen with Clif and Justin was posted on Clif's (now defunct) Twitter "yesterday" with the post being dated January 1, 2013, making it so the photo was originally posted December 31, 2012. Weirdly enough, THIS is the ONLY photo I could find of Jensen and Justin hanging out publicly together like EVER and it's hard to find when or how exactly they met and have yet to find a solid answer.

This Forbes article talks about how Jensen let Justin store his brewing system in his personal shed for at least the better part of a year if not longer. The article stated cut back to 7 years ago, with this article being dated May 2018 which puts things to 2011 or maybe 2012, assuming Jensen was being more general than specific. Did they rub elbows while doing auditions on the show Smallville all those years ago, as someone else speculated on my last post about Jensen and Justin? Interesting, if they're such good friends why have we heard so little of them hanging out and being friends?

This magazine article shows around January 7, 2013 is when Danneel and Jensen announced. When I was doing research on Justin, I realized something strange while thinking about this earlier today along with Jensen's daughters. He has 1 daughter who was born July 3, 2004 named Isabella Justice Hartley. Jensen has 1 daughter who was born May 30, 2013 named Justice Jay Ackles. According to this tinhatter's post, Jensen's nickname for Jared is Jay. My best friend asked another tinhatter about if Jensen ever calls Jared Jay and said "may be a couple times?" In the con videos I've watched of Jensen referring to Jared he ends up calling Jared well Jared or something else many times over. Jay, I haven't heard him call Jared Jay at least yet.

However, this screenshot here does show Jensen referred to Justin as J in a comment made on Justin's post from October 12, 2021. Is it just a funny coincidence that the one public photo of Jensen and Justin, who has a daughter named Isabella Justice, hanging out TOGETHER and PUBLICLY was about a week before it was announced Danneel and Jensen are expecting their first child together they ended up naming Justice Jay? Did Jensen really just simply like the name Justice after talking to Justin about his daughter's name knowing he and Danneel are expecting? Does "Jay" REALLY refer to Jared or Justin or himself? Hmmm...

NOW, as for Arrow, well according to this website: "And when it came to Ackles' daughter, they started off choosing her initials and took it from there. “We wanted an AA name and we both liked Arrow,” he explained. Ackles and Harris married in 2010 in Ackles' hometown of Dallas, Texas, after falling in love on the set of the 2007 romantic comedy Ten Inch Hero." Funny, this website is "SheKnows". Is this some strange hint from the seers "she knows" as in Danneel as to why he liked the name Arrow? I say this because I realize Jensen and Justin both played different roles at different times on the show Smallville. Jensen was on it for season 4, Justin from season 6 onward. Jensen played Jason Teague, while Justin played Oliver Queen aka Green Arrow.

Here is this article showing that Jensen by the way will be returning to Tracker more for season 2 and how Justin said Jensen "would be perfect for it", the role of his brother. Hmm.... In the article, you can find the quotes I mentioned below. However, I doubt they were at all surprised when Jensen wanted to join the show. Jensen did like multiple of Justin's posts regarding Tracker, so I'm sure Jensen and him started talking a little bit before he actually joined the show.

The casting of Colter's brother was also a pivotal decision, driven by the need for a strong actor to portray this complex relationship. “And then, when it was time to cast Russell Shaw, I was like, ‘We built this whole thing up. It’s important that we get somebody in there that is just a juggernaut. Somebody that you would believe because he’s gonna go toe-to-toe with Colter, in a good or bad way, and that you also believe is his brother.’ And I just thought Jensen Ackles would be perfect for it," Hartley explained. He was initially unsure about securing such high-profile actors but was thrilled when both showed eagerness to join the project.

In this, Justin also stated:

Hartley also revealed that his This Is Us co-star Jennifer Morrison would be making an appearance in the finale, and confirmed the return of several key characters, much to the delight of fans. “[Sofia] is coming back. Jensen is gonna come back. Melissa is gonna come back. There’s another leak for you. They’re all coming back,” he stated.

When my best friend and I were talking about this, she said "I can't move" because she was in such great shock about this connection. Maybe within 15 minutes of her saying that, she told me she felt an earthquake and that her entire bed moved as she was laying on it. This was actually not even an hour before this article posted, showing Jensen will in fact make more appearances on Season 2 of Tracker. I asked my best how far she is from where this earthquake with a magnitude of 4.1 hit and said about 20 miles. I mentioned before that Russell/Jensen and Colter/Justin on the show hadn't talked in about 20 years. Assuming another Tumblr user's speculations are correct about meeting during auditions for Smallville or close, seems like Jensen and Justin may have met over 20+ years ago or even through some work related event through the CW. I'm sure we'll eventually figure out exactly when they met but I've been noticing the number 20 show up a lot with Jensen and Justin. The numerology meaning for 20 is quite interesting, given what else I've said about the number 11 being bad for Jensen and 12 possibly being good. According to the Google overview of what 20 means in numerology:

The number 20 may also indicate a potential for spiritual growth and the beginning of a spiritual journey. Numerology encourages people to trust in the divine powers and follow the spiritual guidance they receive, leading to personal development and achieving one's soul mission.  Some say that people born on the 20th of any month tend to have a natural inclination towards harmony and cooperation. Others say that these people are often diplomatic and fair-minded, and that the number 20 bestows a strong sense of intuition and sensitivity upon those born on this day.  The number 20 vibration may experience a test of patience and humbleness. It may also symbolize a new beginning or new perspective on life.

Like I said in my last post regarding Justin and Jensen, are they the new J2? Is it possible they have had some romantic ties in the past or do they just like to joke flirt the way Jensen and Jared do? I don't know, you decide...

[emperornero]

Hiii <3

Sorry for the really weird question but how do do you imagine Nero physically speaking? I know it's strange but I have to make a drawing of him for a history project and I'm eternally UNDECIDED ✨

hello! i need to preface this post by saying that i absolutely suck at describing voices [especially in english] so if this is worded poorly im sorry but for the love of god im not able to do this in any other way [sobs]. i hope citing historical sources about his voice makes this less akward. as always a reminder that ancient roman historians were negatively biased against nero in their narrations but these are the oldest sources mentioning his voice. so yeah.

when it comes to tone and strength of nero's voice [at least when he was younger] we know that it was rather delicate and not made for loud public speeches. it was described as "weak and husky" [husky not as in "deep" but "hoarse". the latin word used here is "fuscae"]. nero did voice training in order to make his voice stronger. the practice was described by suetonius in his "the twelve caesars"

cassius dio describes it as "slight and indistinct" in "Roman History"

manner of speech is another thing. closest thing that comes to mind right now is this description from tacitus [but once again this is about young nero. like right-after-becoming-emperor young.

if anyone else here wishes to add something or is able to put together a normal description i would be so thankful. also if any other sources come to your mind tell me please i probably missed something

ALSO if you want to you can show me the drawing after youre done with it :]

[reginavulturum]

Terry's Birthday: Fandom, the Internet, and Citations

Or, a too long, too in depth essay on a fictional character's birthday

If you aren't thinking I'm a total nerd by the time you're done reading this than you didn't really read this. But, let's start at the beginning. Recently I posted a timeline I made for "Batman Beyond" and in the time since I made that post there's been something I've seen pop up in tags which I'd never heard of before. A few people were saying that Terry's birthday is August 18th. I was really interested in the source of this claim because I had no recollection of ever seeing it anywhere before now. I looked it up on google (as you do) and found this date scattered around the internet. Case closed, right? But I quickly realized there was a consistent problem on every site I came across. None of them cited a source for Terry's alleged August 18th birthday.

Just look it up yourself and you'll find that the date is ubiquitous across the internet. Yet, as far as I can tell after all my research, it's also completely unconfirmed. I mean, I may have missed something, but if I have than someone else is going to have to point it out to me. I also made a post prior to this one asking people to cite a source for Terry's birthday and no one has so far. You can have a look at that post if you want to know what I consider a good source on this subject. In any case, if this date or any other had been confirmed in any piece of media or in an interview with any DC creator involved in Batman Beyond than I think I would have found a citation for that source somewhere by now.

Right now it kind of seems like August 18th is fanon that's been recycled into "canon". This seems to have happened through a process of source-less wikipedia edits being parroted across reddit threads, sites featuring profiles of comic heroes, other wikis, etc. The less popular June 27th birthday for Terry seems to have gone through the same process. Here are links to some of these sites: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

As my research continued I came across some possible witness testimony of the first mentions of these birthdates:

a.) In this archived thread from the DCAU wiki, in quotations below, I've copied an excerpt of an exchange between two users that I feel is most relevant to this post (emphasis mine):

"So, I've noticed lately that a lot of different sites have been stating Terry's birthday to be August 18th with various years attached to the date. The earliest mention of which I could find is an edit to his wikipedia page in 2008 (which prior to the change stated his birthday was June 27th). I don't remember a mention of when he was born on the show or tie-in comics, and the third volume of comics didn't come out until 2010, so would anyone here know where these dates originate from? -- ReachingForRevolution (talk) 17:48, September 26, 2013 (UTC)"

"I've done some extensive timeline research, and I never came across a good source for those dates. All I saw was a wikipedia edit war with those two dates, but neither is correct AFAIK. The most cited year of birth is 2023, which is speculation as well, but there's at least some foundation for that. --Tupka217 17:56, September 26, 2013 (UTC)"

b.) A similar claim was made in this thread. The relevant excerpt, written by the user "Yojimbo" on October 16, 2023, is in quotations below (emphasis mine):

"No official birth date was ever given.

There was a wikipedia edit war in the 2000s but no source was ever given for either disputed date, June 27, 2023 and August 18, 2023."

As I've travelled down this rabbit hole, I've begun to suspect I won't be able to find exactly where it began, but this is as close as I've gotten. Allegedly, sometime around 2008, there was an edit war on Terry McGinnis' wikipedia page between at least two users over the birthdates of June 27th and August 18th. Now, how or why that edit war even started, I don't know. Why those dates, I also don't know. What I do know is that August 18th is the birthdate that gained the most popularity in the end and spread across the internet.

I'm not trying to step on anyone's toes with this post or call anyone out, really. If anything, this post exists because the subject was interesting to me and I've found the journey enjoyable. If you want to say Terry's birthday is June 27th or August 18th, then please do. Fandom is about fun, not perfectly sourced and cited dissertations on fictional teenagers' birthdays...unless, of course, that sort of thing is fun for you. I know I've loved every minute researching for and writing this...because I'm a massive nerd...but I certainly don't adhere to a strict reading of the timeline myself which is something I plan on covering in an upcoming addendum to my timeline.

In summary, my own research has produced no officially confirmed birthday for Terry McGinnis. This leads me to believe that August 18th and June 27th are fanon birthdates. It may be that I've just not found the citation for one or the other of these dates so I'm open to anyone who can provide me a good source. But really, none of this matters in the grand scheme of things, although it's interesting to see the way user edited/moderated wikis can sometimes bring less clarity rather than more. I'm sure this isn't the only example of that. Assuming I'm right and these birthdates are fanon, I wouldn't consider this a cautionary tale or anything so dramatic. Instead, I'd say this was a case study in the interaction between fandom collated information about fictional works as it exists across the internet and why the adage, "cite your sources", will never die...or something like that...