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chloesolace · 1 year ago

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Book Review: "The Scarlet Veil" by Shelby Mahurin

Spoiler-free

Genre: young adult, fantasy • Triggers: trauma, death, graphic descriptions of corpses, kidnapping, blood, misogyny, murder • Year of Publication: 2023

Plot: ★★★★

Characters: ★★★★

Writing Style: ★★

Re-Readability: ★★★

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General Thoughts

During the first half of this book I thought I would end up disliking it, and was very disappointed because I have been looking for an aristocratic vampire romance for ages. Not reverse-harm, not vampire warrior, no, the actual aristocratic-long-hair-wine-glass-in-hand-elegant vampire one might associate with figures like Carmilla and Dracula. This is also the main reason I did not DNF this, and I'm really glad I gave it a chance, because it ended up getting better the further I got and had me at the edge of my seat toward the ending.

I do wanna say that I have not read Serpent & Dove and although this is a spin-off with the same characters (just a different one taking on the role as MC), I understood everything I needed to. So, in my opinion, reading the Serpent & Dove trilogy is not necessary in order to read this. Sure, you might not have as much of a connection with the characters when you begin to read, but everything that's relevant to the story is explained quite nicely in my opinion. Now, moving on to the actual review.

Plot

The plot is a murder mystery. Bodies of supernatural beings turn up with two puncture wounds in their throats. Without getting into spoiler territory, I can say that the plot is very interesting and has some nice twists in there, too. You will definitely be entertained by it if you enjoy this sort of thing.

Celie being kidnapped and brought to the vampire castle is a scenario I also enjoyed reading. There was a bit of an enemies-to-lovers dynamic going on at times, since Celie, our MC, justifiably disliked Michal, the vampire king, in the beginning. Yes, I know that being kidnapped and then falling for your kidnapper is somewhat problematic but really, this is fiction and YA (not a dark romance). Celie was not actually treated like a real prisoner, and that only progressed further as the story went on; she was dressed in beautiful gowns, walked around the castle grounds and island, and even went on an undercover mission with Michal at a brothel *ahem*.

Also, if authors tried making every fictional scenario inherently healthy and unproblematic I'd die of boredom. I want that in real life, not my books x). But I digress.

Characters

I really disliked Celie in the beginning. Her actions and internal monologue felt juvenile, to the point where I seriously struggled to believe she was 19 and not, say, 15. I understand that she was supposed to be this soft, feminine and lady-like character and this is actually a character type I'd like to see more of, as feminity is often demonized and seen as weak by readers. However, it wasn't Celie's "lady-like" personality I had an issue with, but how she felt infantilized sometimes. The other characters kept her entirely separate from any plans they made, even if she was directly involved in one of the murders since she found the body. This is a good idea, but the execution made it feel like "go away, the adults are talking" instead of "she is too traumatized to take part in this", which is what I believe Mahurin was going for. It is also easier to believe the former due to Célie's often childish behavior and reactions. You can be soft and feminine but still behave a bit more maturely, which is what I would have hoped for her. Still, her character development was fairly satisfying. She still has a long way to go, I think, and I am looking forward to hopefully seeing that develop in book two.

Michal is a character I hope to see Mahurin elaborate on more. We don't know that much about him yet, so it is really hard to judge. He states at some point, and this is no way a spoiler (honestly, it felt kind of random for him to say it), that he is afraid of love. Why? What happened for him to develop that fear? So far I can say that I love how he has a very ruthless and violent side, but can also be extremely caring and sweet at the same time.

I also loved the side characters, at least the vampire ones, Odessa and Dimitri. Especially Odessa. I cannot say much for the Serpent & Dove characters because they mostly appear in the first section of the book, which is exactly the section I disliked.

In general, I enjoyed the characters. I'm giving four out of five stars, though, because as I said before, I think Célie's character could have handled a bit more maturely in the beginning, especially since she was supposed to be 19.

Writing Style

As always, this is entirely subjective but I include this part in my reviews since writing styles have made or broken books for me, and I would like to offer those interested in the books insights into the style before buying it, so you can decide for yourself if this is something you'd enjoy reading.

Oh boy. I didn't really like it, I fear. Firstly, the narrator is a first-person present tense which is already not my favorite combination, but it is easy to overlook really. The main issues I had were t-t-the c-c-onstant s-stuttering l-like this. It was wholly unnecessary in my opinion and widely overused. I also think we have been past this in publishing and established that there are better ways to write stuttering t-than t-t-this. There are stuttering writing guides online. I actually loved the fact Celie stuttered, since it showed her character development very well, I just wish the stuttering had been written differently.

Secondly, the constant italicization of words for emphasis got on my nerves, too. Using it sometimes is totally valid, but I swear there was not one page without at least four or five italicized words for emphasis, and that's not even counting the constant repetition of sentences that had already been said at some point before, just so the reader doesn't forget anything. Those were also in italics, of course.

Overall, this improved toward the end of the book, though. Celie's stuttering ceased and so did the italicization for emphasis (mostly). Still, this is something that annoyed me a tremendous amount and one of the reasons why it was so hard for me to get through the first part of the book, hence the two stars.

Re-Readability

I think this book can definitely be re-read. Especially if you enjoyed the romance scenes between Michal and Celie, like I did. However, keep in mind this book has about 620 pages so it is not short by any means. Also, I would probably skip the first part of the book if I ever re-read it and jump straight into Celie arriving in Requiem.

Conclusion

In essence, I enjoyed this book. It was exactly what I was looking for in terms of vampire romance, but it also pulled me right into the story and I am very excited to see what will happen in book two, especially after that ending. I don't think I will pick up Serpent & Dove, however, since the story of that trilogy doesn't peak my interest as much.

#book review #YA #the scarlet veil #celie tremblay #michal vasiliev #serpent and dove #serpent & dove #booktok #shelby mahurin #book reviews #books #fantasy #fantasy romance #vampire romance #vampire book rec

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oneiromania · 2 years ago

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Welcome to oneiromania's RP blog!

♥ ABOUT ME ♥

Hi, call me Nei! I'm a 22 year old female student with just a little over two years of RP experience, though I've been writing for a lot longer than that. Ever since I got into the RP scene, I've been itching to write with others and finally let some of that brainrot escape its fleshy prison. I try my best to be friendly and understanding, and I don't want or plan to get into any internet (and especially Tumblr) drama. I just wanna write!

I like to chat OOC when I vibe with my RP partners, and I'm prone to gushing about the characters, sending songs and playlists relevant to the RP, making Pinterest boards, sharing memes, and so on! I'd appreciate it if my partner shared the enthusiasm, but I get that that just isn't for everyone, and as long as the RP is fun and consistent, and my partner is respectful and understanding, I don't mind a more chill OOC experience.

♠ RULES ♠

Standard DNI criteria. MAPs, TERFs, racists, and other assholes, get the fuck off my blog.

You must be 18+. As I am an adult myself, I don't feel comfortable writing with minors regardless of the contents of the RP. I also prefer to write with people no older than 30.

I mainly write over Discord. I say mainly because I haven't yet decided if I'm going to make RP sideblogs for specific characters! I'll update this post if I do, but generally I don't RP outside of Discord. Additionally, I like making a private server for easier organization, and I like using Tupperbox. If you don't know what that is or how to use it, I'd be more than happy to teach you! But Tupperbox is not a must.

NO REALISTIC FCs. This might seem like a strange rule, but I simply cannot do RP when the faceclaim is a real person. This goes not only for actors, singers, and other celebrities, but really any photos of real people. You can use picrew or neka, or your own art, or even art you found on the internet. (I'm cool with using photos of real life outfits and stuff for reference, though!)

I write fandomless OC x OC, and sometimes CC x CC. I'll list my fandoms later, but generally speaking, I'm currently comfortable writing only a few canon characters.

My preferred ships are MxM and FxF, and I can also do ships with NB and genderfluid characters. I can do MxF as well, but I vastly prefer queer relationships, and I'll only do MxF if I really feel like it fits the RP. I hope you'll understand! Also: ships don't have to be romantic, I enjoy platonic and familial relationships as well, including friends, found family, and even enemies.

I write third person past and present, and I don't accept RP written in first person.

I can write anywhere from semi-lit/literate to novella. It depends on my mood and what the scene requires. Currently, I'm very busy, so I can only do shorter replies – around 2-3 short paragraphs, and likely not super detailed. Please just use good grammar.

Currently, I DON'T do NSFW. I'm comfortable with flirting and intimacy, but I prefer fading to black when it comes to sex scenes. It kind of depends on the RP and my partner if I'm willing to do more, because I need to feel comfy with writing it first!

I don't double. I know doubling means different things for different people, but however you define it, I don't do it.

My activity varies, as I am in college so sometimes life gets stressful or I get busy. I'll likely do at least 2-3 replies a week, though. At least one reply a week is what I ask from my partner.

Limits and triggers will be discussed before the RP.

Work with me when plotting! I CANNOT plot alone or figure out characters alone, if you're going into this with no plot or character ideas whatsoever, we're gonna have a difficult time figuring out what to write.

♦ WHAT DO I WRITE? ♦

I do both angst and fluff.

I like a lot of genres and settings! I have some plots in mind but I'd love to hear what you have to offer! The genres include: fantasy (high, medieval, victorian...), victorian settings, modern, sci-fi, supernatural, horror/thriller, futuristic, slice of life, and more.

I'm open to dark subject matter/whump. Since I enjoy horror, I also enjoy dark and gritty themes, as well as things that might be upsetting to explore. So long as we're both being mature about it, there shouldn't be a problem. This will, of course, be discussed in detail before we start writing.

I'm prone to making OCs on the fly or repurposing existing OCs, so even if I don't have an OC for our specific RP, I can make one in a matter of several days.

I reblog RP prompts and plots and make my own posts when I have an idea for a plot, so check out the rest of my blog and see if you like anything!

♣ FANDOMS ♣

This is a list of fandoms that I'm into! This doesn't necessarily mean I will RP characters from this fandom, instead, I'm listing them in case you're interested in RPing in the same or similar universe! I don't do CCxOC, but I do enjoy putting OCs in an existing fandom's universe, or making a world similar to that of the fandom. I also just get inspired by these fandoms, so if you look at any of these and think, "I'd love to do something inspired by this!", I think we can make some fun plots!

Fandoms which are bolded are those which I have CC characters I can RP, and I will write the characters I RP next to them

In no particular order:

Alice in Wonderland (the book, the sequel, the animated movie, Alice: Madness Returns)

Demon Slayer

Jujutsu Kaisen

Bungou Stray Dogs (have read the manga up until chapter 88) → can try my hand at a couple of characters!

Fate/Grand Order → Merlin (Caster), Jeanne d'Arc (Alter), Gudao/Gudako, probably more

Hades → Zagreus, Thanatos

Cookie Run: Kingdom → Shadow Milk Cookie, Pure Vanilla Cookie

Detroit: Become Human

Deep Sea Prisoner games (Mogeko Castle, Wadanohara, Gray Garden)

A Night In The Woods

Bloodborne

Soul Eater (anime)

Puella Magi Madoka Magica

Arknights (not super confident writing canon characters right now, but I'd love to use the setting)

Spirited Away

Spy x Family

Wolfmaker/8bit RPGs (Mad Father, Witch's House, Pocket Mirror, Ib, Alice Mare, LiEat I, II and III)

Honkai: Star Rail

Noragami

Black Butler

Tokyo Ghoul

SCP foundation

Corpse Party

Little Nightmares (1 and 2)

and more, probably!

~LINKS~

A link to the overview of my current OCs! There's a short description for each of them, and a few of them have full docs ready, while for the rest, I can explain a bit more about them if you're interested in writing with any of them.

For my plot ideas, search the tag #nei's evil thoughts!

For my writing samples, search the tag #nei's evil scriptures!

I hope to find some more RP partners on here and write some incredible stories! If you'd like to discuss RP, please reach out to me via DMs and I will send you my Discord handle! Happy writing everyone!

#roleplay #rp #role play #rp finder #roleplay finder #rp partner #roleplay partner #nei's evil thoughts #nei's evil scriptures #[ rat bastard. ]#[ poisoned youth. ]#[ shattered doll. ]#[ apple of discord. ]#[ bloodied teeth. ]#[ fire in the blood. ]#[ crimson witch. ]#[ winter monarch. ]#[ golden fang. ]#[ ??? ]

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honkster · 5 years ago

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Why the Dream SMP’s way of storytelling is IMPOSSIBLE to recreate in any other medium.

This has been in the back of my mind for the longest time. I think I finally got it.

People have talked about this before, and they’ve put forward some good points, and good for them – most of them are correct. It’s the way the ccs interact with each other, it’s how plot is mixed in with banter, that’s all good! I wanna put more out there.

So you know how you open a book to read, you start a new show, you sit down to watch a movie – that’s all produced by some sort of company, someone who made it specifically for you to enjoy. You expect a certain dramatic flair to it, certain cinematic choices, certain ways of writing, certain camera angles, certain reactions to things. That’s just ingrained expectations of things now.

The DSMP? Doesn’t have that.

The low expectations work very much in its favor. It’s a Minecraft role-playing server with a bunch of famous youtubers/streamers, who are all good friends and have great dynamics with each other. So when you expect “just another Minecraft video” but in stream form, or you watch the videos because there are certain people in them, you don’t expect to be dropped into extreme lore and sensitive topics, realistic situations proposed in game form, a combination of serious stuff and just fun times with friends goofing around – and you’re pleasantly surprised.

We, the fandom, are used to it a bit more now. How excellently they manage to make a serious story in such a “ridiculous” medium, how much it affects us all and gets our creative juices flowing. But even the ccs can’t predict some of the things that happen. And that’s fun.

The whole election ending the way it has? That was on us. And it made some of the most angsty content there has been in the DSMP. People still theorize about the arc and make connections to now – that’s pog!

Fundy being adopted by Eret – that sparked the whole “Fundy just wants a dad – let’s get him some love” thing that made FundyWasTaken and other Fundy+someone ships happen. I see a different person paired with Fundy every week, and somehow, I agree with all of them. I really got into Fundy because of that stream where Eret “slept through the adoption” and Fundy confronted his real dad and spent time with his granddad. That little stream gave us more insight into Fundy’s whole character (Nevermind Fundy showing off his acting skills – you go you funky little fox), but also justifies some of his actions now. DryWaters? Wanting to kill Technoblade? Fucked up reasons, but we still love him.

Phil being broken out of house arrest ahead of time – still made a great stream and Phil agreeing with Techno’s want for revenge – that made us all very happy. The SBI!!! The AE! And that’s also a thing!

That even if we do know or have predicted what’s going to happen, begged it out of the ccs basically, it is still incredibly fun to watch. Where some books/shows/movies fall short and reveal too much and end up being “too predictable”, they’re not fun anymore. I read this somewhere before, that sometimes holding back EVERYTHING from the reader, and relying on shock value to make a good story is just bad. Whereas if you progress the story naturally and let the reader make some predictions of their own and then they end up being right – that’s a lot of serotonin right there. It’s the re-readability that makes it slightly better the second time.

The DSMP takes this concept and fucking yeets with it. Letting fans engage in the story, letting them theorize and then be right, even acknowledging the fanart that was made, just engaging with the community that their roleplay created – that makes it so much more fun. I bet that even if the whole script was revealed to the fandom we would still watch every plot stream. Even if we knew vaguely what happens in the stream, we would tune in and enjoy every second of it. Because the ccs are just that good, we love them that much, we love this plot that much.

Oh and the unpredictability helps too. Tommy in exile was the vague concept of a lot of the streams – it’s taken that and ran with it in a lot of different directions. All quite enjoyable.

Having said all of that… The fact that this type of telling a story is impossible to recreate in any other medium is… kinda saddening? It is incredibly unique, and I’d say has things that not a lot of the people that produce mainstream media would even consider. “Just friends hanging out” – how would that make the script progress? “Engagement with the fandom, even considering their wishes for the characters” – but we’re telling a story here!

The only thing I can think of that would come close to the vibe, would be just a bunch of writer friends coming together, thinking up a universe and general plot, and then each deciding to write a few of their own characters in that universe. When one author focuses on their main characters, the side ones can feel left in the dust, or not fleshed out. The DSMP is just “every character can write their own story”, which takes a lot of the strain from the “main writers”. But the general thing of “just friends hanging out” would be taken away from it. We’re being serious here, why would we change the tone so quick?

With all of that in mind… I kinda wanna make some predictions? And I don’t know if they’re correct, but it’s fun to theorize. See?

1. L’manburg will die.

And not just because Techno has 54 withers. The country is cursed – it definitely is. There is little sentimental value that can be felt for a few flimsy stilts built on top of a crater. It might go out in a blaze of glory, with the withers (Is history repeating itself an interesting enough plot point to recycle a whole arc?), but it might just be forgotten. Yeah there have been some angsty headcanons about how “no one cares about L’manburg anymore, save for two people” and it just gets abandoned, but how about it just becoming irrelevant?

This all comes back to Dream, it always does! His want, need for the server to be “one happy family again”, it just means one thing. He wants the server to return to the peaceful anarchy that it was before L’manburg. No rulers, no factions, no nothing.

That’s never going to happen.

Try as he might, Dream cannot affect that change that L’manburg did to the server. The introduction of a faction, one that can exist without the interference of a higher power – why do you think so many factions have sprouted up since? And it’s not even serious factions a lot of the time, it’s just a few friends deciding to build their bases on a plot of land that they claim is a nation now. L’manburg has changed the mindset of these people, now an alliance with somebody is a political move. An alliance doesn’t exist if it doesn’t have a faction, and that faction can remain neutral for only so long.

Basically, L’manburg introduced the factions mod into the server.

And the fact that every faction now has enough relevance to hold weight in a war also means that every nation on the server is doomed to follow the downfall of L’manburg. Eventually, they will get into a fight they can’t win, go up against the wrong people, anger someone they shouldn’t have. All factions will either be destroyed, or lose relevance, until their creators, residents and such just… move on.

(And really you can go into meta and talk about real governments and compare them, but it’s far more simple than that. The server isn’t built for peace, it isn’t meant to be a relaxing place where you can just vibe, it may have been made for a few friends to play Minecraft together, but it has turned into An Author’s Curse. The curse that follows any kind of story being told – the fact that peace is boring. People watched the first streams of the DSMP because they liked the ccs, and that’s valid. But how many more people tuned in to watch the war streams because there was PLOT and there was CHAOS and there WASN’T CALM PEACE ANYMORE – that’s the curse of every writer. That you can write about someone just living their life drama-free, you can make interesting peace with characters or circumstances, but it’s always leading to one inevitable conclusion – war, drama, because people read that. And at this point, it’s just a predictable outcome. No matter how much you say that you are retired, that you’re done with violence (Technoblade), something will happen that will prove to you that you believed in people too much. No matter how “neutral” you may be in the matter, no matter how much you claim that you have no allegiance (Philza), you will be forced to pick one, because out of all the bad things, you pick the least worst one, the most appealing to you, the one that can benefit your want of revenge.

And I can go on, but this is far too deep for one simple reason – The Author’s Curse is so prevalent here because THERE ARE ABSOLUTELY NO STAKES. It’s a video game – you die? You respawn. Something gets destroyed? You can just rebuild. Sure, you’ll want to kill the person who did wrong to you, but whatever they did wrong can just be replaced, remade, recreated. So why not have wars? Why not cause massive amounts of destruction “for the plot”?

It’s literally a playground. How all authors have their little playground with their characters that they meticulously plan out, the DSMP is that playground for all of these people.

And it’s fun! Sure! I like it! I’m just really skeptical whenever someone in character says that they “just want peace”, “are retired”, “swear off violence”, “are building just a little city for themselves”. Because you can do that, nothing wrong. But eventually, no matter how much you distance yourself from all of the chaos happening, all of the wars, you will return.

Because it is just much more fun.

It’s the curse. A cursed cycle.

And everyone is in it.)

2. The prison.

I don’t have anything on the prison because I don’t have anything on the book. Yeah I’ve done a whole post where I overanalyze what it could be, but it doesn’t make it any clearer. Whatever it is, it’s made out to be a huge plot point, something that can only be revealed when the prison is finished.

Cursed. The prison’s reason for being constructed is the book, but the book is only relevant when the prison is finished. We can only wait, and theorize, as we do.

(My only theory is that the book is information about another op on the server. Or at least something related to op or creative mode. Dream only fears one thing on this server, and that’s Technoblade, so if his one fear is the most skilled player on the server, what else could give him existential fear?)

3. The SBI.

Again, I don’t have anything! Yeah the reunion seems to be going smoothly, one member at a time, but there is already conflict in their beliefs among each other. And all that’s happened is a vague “maybe one day we’ll strike”.

Is history repeating itself an interesting enough plot point to recycle a whole arc?

Is L’manburg’s destruction AGAIN really necessary to hammer home the idea that no one likes that place anymore?

I don’t know. Whatever happens, no one’s in the right. No one’s in the wrong either. They’re all not good people and that’s that on that.

4. The Clingy Duo.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

That’s all.

(Okay seriously? All of these arcs are connected. You know what happens when everything seems to be connected to one another?

A giant, dramatic final showdown between the two opposing sides.

Cause it’s just Chaos vs L’manburg. Those are the sides. People that want L’manburg to exist and people that want it gone. There are no other sides, there isn’t someone who’s like “Well maybe it can exist if we do this and this” cause no one wants to put in anymore effort into this cursed country. The only people were the clingy duo and now they’re separated and everyone is just leaving and Tommy is on the Chaos side like at this point he doesn’t care about L’manburg he just cares about Tubbo but he has to convince Tubbo to leave L’manburg but will Tubbo be convinced but will Tommy even consider leaving L’manburg and breaking free from its curse AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

Goddamit.)

5. The Egg?

Dunno shit about it. Like the prison – it seems important, but we’re just not being given enough information. Is it a coincidence that the moment Dream commissioned the prison the Egg popped up? Or are the two directly related?

I don’t know. But as long as someone is finding ways to fight the Egg, that’s fantastic. Bad juju indeed.

6. Oh the Butcher Army want to kill Dream!

Hah.

Okay I’ve seen people make the case that the Army is just a bunch of people with trauma repeating the cycle of ab*se that they went through and yes.

Just yes.

And the fact that no one is actually looking at it that way and no one is there to like.. help them or even help them understand that what they are doing is just irrational, even though their reason for doing it and the result they hope to achieve is YES and the only thing that a lot of the people of the server who want peace should try to go for as well, they cannot stand up to Dream on their own. They just can’t, they will get punted into exile. They need allies, and they need powerful ones, people that have also been wronged by Dream and want him gone.

But the cycle continues, and no one knows where it ends.

(Okay but from a writing perspective? Getting rid of Dream is the end goal. It is the be all end all of all conflict, well… most of it, at least most that’s related to the supposed “good side”, or “the side that’s been most victimized”. But from the same perspective, that side is just… no longer. It has proven that is just as bad, if not worse than the final boss. I have to agree that Techno has to pay for his crimes, even though I like him a lot, but Techno did in fact cause insane damage. Yeah L’manburg rebuilt, yeah Wilbur probably caused more – still he isn’t completely free.

But that’s a discussion on morality more than laws.

L’manburg is doomed to die. Dream is doomed to be fought, and probably won against (simply because he has won far too many times already, you know how everyone seems to hate OP characters…). But the Butcher Army is doomed to fail against Dream. So how does that work?

Welp.

Is history repeating itself and interesting enough plot point to recycle a whole arc?

The answer is no.

I’ve repeated that question three times now, and the answer to it is no. No it is not. L’manburg can be destroyed again, and it can be rebuilt again, but the sentimentality that people feel for it will not remain. The cycle of history ends somewhere, and it’s not too far a fetch that it ends here.

So what happens when Technoblade, Philza and Tommy roll up to L’manburg with withers and a destruction wish, only to be met with a bunch of traumatized children with axes and a death wish?

Well, I’ll spare the details, but from a purely writing standpoint…

The two sides team up.

Think about it – The Butcher Army doesn’t care about Technoblade anymore. They’ve seen that Dream is the one pulling the strings, they know that even if they do care about trying to eliminate Technoblade again, they have to get rid of his strongest ally – Dream. But through their anger, they’ve lost their fear. You should fear Dream, he’s a fuckin op. Techno is correct in not wanting to go against him.

But after Tommy? After seeing the Butcher Army at their lowest, screeching about Dream being the villain?

Will Techno finally go past his thinking of “government is evil, always government is source of problem” and realize that Dream has the most evil government in mind for his rule?

I’m still kinda sad that Techno isn’t making the conclusions he should about Dream. But he’s starting to – and really, the SBI-Butcher Army team up is the most logical thing that could happen.

Watch me be completely wrong or miss something and I’ve got ALL of it wrong. I would love that.)

(Also it’s very funny to me that Dream is literally simping for Techno while he’s just here like “Listen bud I would stab you on sight if you didn’t have creative mode”. Dream KNOWS that Techno can and will kill him given the opportunity. Techno knows that that opportunity may never arise.

It’s a weird type of stalemate, to be sure. But goddamn is it interesting.)

Anyway... if you read through all of this... I could bake you a cookie? Thank you! I like to ramble.

#dream smp #gooood its just a block game #ITS JUST A BLOCK GAME #...dammit #anyway #debate me #on everything please

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amazingphilza · 4 years ago

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DSMP!OC HEADCANNONS

i dunno if ppl on here make dsmp!ocs for themselves outside art but here’s my long list of headcannons?? idk what to call this, but assume all names have c! before it ofc :]

,, this is kinda messy & probably has a lot of plot holes but i just needed a space to write out all my thoughts LOL

also cw / ment of manipulation & ib: dsmp wiki <3

character origin :

previous life was the l’mantree :D

allegedly planted by schlatt, we will never know who’s my canonical parent(s)

reborn as a dryad after niki burns the l’mantree

i think being a dryad would fit especially since they’re typically nymphs of oak trees :]

appearance :

my character’s mc skin has long light brown hair & is seen wearing a flower crown with petals that are around the color of a pale violet and navy blue

clothing would consist of black shoes & a long light grey sweater that falls down to the legs and covers most of the hands which adorned with 2 black stripes on the upper arms

lore / history :

since my past life was the l’mantree, i would’ve known the ins and outs of the history when l’manburg was still standing, up until niki burned the tree

after witnessing everything, i’d hold a grudge on niki (+ allies?) and loyal to wilbur since he’s the whole person that made a meaning of the land of l’manburg

however i’d still be on edge w any side because i could sympathize with everyone to some extent after seeing some sort of distress from everyone at some point

i think seeing both sides of the spectrum when l’manburg/manburg still stood could change my perspective of some other characters

but at the same time, not everything was completely centered in l’manburg so i wouldn’t know the whole story of everyone’s character

i’m currently writing this just after tommy has left the prison & mostly everyone is treating him differently, so i’d try to befriend him by not showing that i dont care about his past & trauma but also not being fully faithful about our friendship ahaha,,,

he seems like the type that needs someone to see through his past history but tommy would definitely disapprove of my character visiting dream at the prison (i would do it anyway :))

vowing my current life to wilbur, i would help dream escape to revive wilbur & follow along with their plans of chaos

i don’t fully support dream but he is the only way to wilbur, making me comply with dream’s decisions

“growing up” in my past life and witnessing endless conflict, it is the only thing i know and understand; chaos

but i think during the process of helping dream & wilbur i’d keep my connection with them secret, being the person to obtain all the inside information they need

i could see myself as a type of equilibrium like ranboo but in a bad way, i don’t know how to explain it

but i would try befriending ranboo since he seems like he is involved in many things and would know a lot, despite his short term memory

unfortunately i’m not sure how much his character actually knows since i haven’t been able to watch his pov that much but i’m sure there’s a lot in his memory book...

to blend in as a normal person within the rest of the characters, i’d surround myself with connor a lot

not only because he needs more lore, connor is one of the “normal” citizens of the smp so i believe being with him doesn’t bring as much attention to myself, unlike people that’s related to the egg and their noticeable features after associating themselves with the egg

he is currently only on bad terms with techno which is rly good when comparing that to other characters and their relationships with other people

connor could probably sense my real intentions eventually & tell everyone else that i’m not who i say i am but if that’s my flaw & my downfall is caused by connor, so be it! sorry dream & wilbur

i feel like for being a young dryad, i’d still fool around with dream/wilbur & help give tommy an small “advantage” to defeating the two ?

like yes i’m supposed to be on your side but where’s the fun if tommy can’t do anything to begin with?

i honestly don’t know if wilbur was revived he’d actually be his vassal but let’s assume that happens, but either way i’m with wilbur on his decisions

but ya dream seems like the type to punish me for helping tommy and send me to the afterlife to learn & become smarter like wilbur had done or smth

in the end, i just want to give tommy bits and pieces that tease him from ending all the wars and problems he has been faced with

like here’s some info about dream and wilbur but it won’t be no where close to enough

but who knows, ghostbur said ‘villains are just heroes that aren’t convinced yet’ & maybe tommy could eventually grow on me & change my ways,,

maybe me fooling around & teasing tommy with answers he’s been searching for is a way to mask that i want to be a good person

ok but imagine after knowing so much about dream/wilbur, the revive book, & the afterlife & then i switch sides,,,

surely if tommy can’t put and end to them, dream would make sure i’m gone for good instead

but also if me & connor are in good terms & he’s canonically a necromancer & can bring ppl back to life,,,,

personality :

to all besides dream & wilbur, i’d try to act passive and friendly on the outside to get on everyone’s good side

however under the mask i am more mischievous & strive to cause more problems for everyone on the server from the inside out

in a way, i’ve taken up some of dream’s manipulative personality but still very understanding

i’d like to think of my character as a good listener,, trying to do less talking than others so i do not open up about my true self and intentions

i’ve seen rumors about schlatt & mexican dream also being revived along with wilbur & i feel like i’d have some soft spot for schlatt & pick up a few things from his own character, not sure what though

schlatt planted l’mantree theory, dad!schlatt au part 2 !! /j

because of my character’s closed off and quiet personality, i feel like i’d be pretty analytical

i would know how to slip between the cracks with some characters & notice the smallest things to make them question themselves

maybe my character is good at holding their composure, and not that susceptible to being “emotional” in a way so it’s easier to face people

like i understand when a situation is sad, etc but i can’t show emotion towards how i feel about it (i don’t know if that makes sense but ya!)

i wanna try to elaborate more,, like imagine my character before tommy visits the prison, i would be unfazed from when i found out he died to the point he’s released and we find out he’s been revived

everything is a constant blur hehe

i just can’t fully process everything i guess? i dunno if that’s helpful but yeah!

in the end though, my moral compass has been very tainted; despite wanting to show my loyalty, it can be slightly easy to sway me, making me internally feel guilty to other people

but me trying to get on everyone’s good side to impress wilbur/dream to seem useful to them would ruin me before i would even realize that i’m another “pawn”

we know damn well dream is faking it till he “makes it” but yk,,

but i’d be stuck in this kind of dilemma of not knowing what thoughts are my own or just something trickled down from wilbur or dream

there’s like maybe something that clicks in my head like “maybe i wanna think for myself for once” or smth

like who am i really?

powers , bonuses , etc :

since dryads can technically manipulate plants in some ways, theoretically i could control the blood vines to some extent ???

i’m pretty sure dryads can communicate with plants so i could understand what the blood vines are saying as well

maybe i could get a good sense of what the egg is all about and stuff

assuming that i understood anything that was happening with the egg in the first place but anyway—

i guess similar to ranboo like how he can’t really be around water without some type of amour or something, it would make sense for me to primarily reside in a type a forest or be near one ?? who knows

seems a bit morbid in a way because of the whole history but if i can somehow easily get rid of the blood vines without it affecting me (if there is still some there) i think it would be kinda pretty to build a tree base in the middle of the l’manburg crator (iskall tease)

like it can show a sign of some rebirth, not the same government repeated once again but a new era in general

you know how you see like destruction years after it the disaster or smth happened and it gets all overgrown with plants and stuff? ya that’s what i’m going for in my head (mumbo jumbo s7 tease)

i know it’s covered in glass already but i dunno, some broken glass and a giant tree emerging from the whole thing and all the rubble seems cool

i’m not a good builder but i have the vision LMAO

omg puffy is like a sheep human hybrid im pretty sure & like there’s a specific type of dryad that are a protector of sheep & other animals?? i’m not exactly sure but that seems like an interesting element to incorporate somehow

also glatt randomly planting a oak sapling in quackity’s lore stream yes pls feed my nonexistent dsmp character lore /j

i honestly dunno how to incorporate the fact dryads can turn shapeshift into trees when trying to escape something but i read something that if a dryad stays in a tree form for too long they’ll forget who they are and stay stuck as a tree?? which like woah that’s cool & some material but at the same time what—

since everyone’s backstory is kinda a mess, mr beast parent tease bc he planted a bunch of trees /hj

i have realized wilbur saying like “the whole reason i built this nation is gone” & blowing up everything or whatever is kinda a plot hole in like ‘why would i follow wilbur if/when he’s revived when he said this?’ but i’d like to think he was the one that made some meaning of the area lmanburg was on, which includes the lmantree

like he was the one that started everything and created that sentiment of that land, and however he views it now is how i would see it now

he gave meaning to my past life and now in my current life, i feel this obligation to repay him for it

not really lore bc i think it was cc!tommy talking to cc!ranboo about his height & age when he first joined but yk it would funny to make my dsmp character than his just to slightly spite him anyway

canonically 6’4 dryad yes . /hj

also i have no idea anything about hannah and her lore but we do be flower buddies :D

also omg like this isn’t at all important but the way ranboo can pick up grass blocks will just have me at awe, i dunno seems in theme with the forest/plant stuff

and i remember reading like there was something about dryads and apples but i can’t remember but i’d give tommy a bunch of apples /hj

apples am i right chat,,,,,

i’ll just have infinite apples in my inventory, like kill me in game, not like losing lives kinda deal but just in general and boom stacks of apples

“bee i get you’re half tree but do you just poop apples out like they’re nothing??” “girls don’t poop” /j

ok but like no matter how many streams i watch i cant grasp where everything is but omg but no if i was new to the server & stuff, canonically & not, i would feel my character to be the curious kind to explore everywhere

like besides a mini tour from some other person in the server, since my character only knows things in the bounds of lmanburg, i’d go off exploring different places like pogtopia, the sewers, showchester, etc

i feel like my character would be really into history, like they would have questions about what happened to lmanburg after the last war? what was life like before wilbur? what was the whole history about the antarctic empire? i dunno but reading a bunch of books from a library seems really interesting

oh but in theory, me and tubbo are loosely related if you wanna count schlatt as my “dad” because he supposedly planted the lmantree ???

i mean could make sense but it seems like a stretch

also if my character ever got close to schlatt, i’m not sure if this is canon, but i swear one time he mentioned how the whole dsmp sever is just a game/server in a game & he’s the only one that knows that ??? but like imagine if i found that out canonically,,,,,

big existential crisis pls

and i’m not 100% sure how dryad shifting works with like going from female to tree form and stuff but if i’m able to morph into different girls on the server & act as them,,,, the about of problems that can cause in the lore omg

lemme frame niki real quick and get inside information /j

oh ya and like hey bee do you support the government then? yes but no. whatever my “fav” person is canonically (assuming this is based in the beginning of this whole hc) whatever wilbur thinks, i think. head empty. but subject to change as the dsmp storyline progresses and stuff :]

ngl i wanna throw in some like random lore that doesn’t make sense to throw people off but i can’t think of anything

not actually really lore related but my choice of stream music like how ranboo has his undertale stuff that makes everyone cry, i will have in love with a ghost

yup i like in love with a ghost sm & i’m pretty sure their music is like not dmca too which yay but yk theoretically never gonna stream on the dsmp but still a fun aspect to think of bc i love listening to music & it’s very impactful to a story & associating something to it makes it more meaningful :D

like i could imagine the chill pop lofi piano stuff fits witha few lore streams of like exploring the whole smp before my character would really go out with being this lost villain in a way?

tubbo’s gangnam style who?

like i feel like i made my character bad/evil so they could have potential to get better in the future

on one hand, i’ll end up w dream and/or wilbur for the rest of my life, which is okay but i could also switch to be with tommy or even disregard all of them and be with techno/phil or quackity & potentially schlatt even who knows

also i cant wait for more connor lore tho, like as much as i tried to make my character give him more content i wanna see how everything goes with him having connections to schlatt & stuff

anyway i would’ve made concept art for my character but i honestly don’t rly like my art currently but who knows LMAO

and lastly if u read all of this ily /p

i might update this later when there’s more lore but ya

#bee for dream smp 2021 /j #dsmp headcanon #dream smp oc #dreamsmp headcanon #dsmp hc #mcyt x oc #dsmp x oc

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dis--parity · 4 years ago

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get to know the mun!

repost, don’t reblog.

——— basics! ♡

(PEN)NAME: Aria (some may know me as Verseau)

PRONOUNS: she/they

ZODIAC SIGNS: Aquarius sun, Cancer moon, Saggitarius Rising

TAKEN OR SINGLE: taken by two lovely people,,,

——— three facts! ♡

I’m trans! I’ve only just started HRT this year after jumping through a couple hurdles but I’m over half a month in now and I couldn’t be happier with my progress so far! I’m hoping to be even more outwardly feminine in my daily life in 2021 and I’ve already taken a lotta good steps towards that!

I’m a student of mechanical engineering (though I kinda wish I was doing electrical engineering or software engineering bc I’m so much better at that)! My early aspirations for robotic science kinda got birthed into Alex’s interests in-character, and though I definitely retain an interest in it, if not just for writing her character then because robots are fuckin awesome, I dunno if I’ll be able to find a career in it myself... I’ve yet to really figure out what I wanna do with it but I’ll get there someday!

Alright this is a bit of a weird story but listen... I went to this like, catholic private school when I was doing secondary school (high school for you yankees) so we had to have mandatory services in chapel. And, y’know, kids don’t wanna be sat there listening to bible stories for half an hour of their lunch break so our chaplain occasionally spiced things up by bringing shit in. So, one day, he’s telling the story about adam and eve and the snake in the tree, two other kids played adam and eve (they weren’t naked before you ask, why would you think that) and I played... the tree. So I just,, stood there? And then we got to the part where the snake appeared in the tree, at which point the science teacher pulled out this FUCKING BALL PYTHON HE KEPT AND WRAPPED IT OVER MY SHOULDERS. SO,, i just had to stand there and stay calm while this snake was coiling around my neck and everyone else was looking at me all :monkaS: like,,, I got out ok but that’s all I was known for for like a week after that service, god.

——— experience ! ♡

Ooosh, I’ve been in the RP scene since, uhh... 2014? 2015? Embarrassingly enough my first few roleplays were in the F/NA/F scene on shamchat and chatzy with a group of friends (which I got to via reddit of all places). After that, I migrated to tumblr and got involved in the scene while re/born/ica’s AU was The Scene in that rpc, eventually my character (it was only Iris at the time, but I eventually brought Alex in too) evolved into fandomless OCs and I stuck around the tumblr rpc for the next few years to come. I also love roleplaying on discord and I’m generally better with activity there and better at organising threads so if y’all wanna move any threads to a private discord server just hmu! My discord is V.Aria#3817

——— muse preference ! ♡

Oooh,,, I think my OCs are actually pretty flexible when it comes to this kinda thing. Alex is the poster child of the blog (always has been tbh,,) but I love love LOVE getting interactions with yeong-hui and garis as well!! The theme of this blog is actually about their diverging stories and how they both coped with similar trauma in vastly different ways (highlighting the disparity between their ways of life, their circumstances, and who they are as people). As for the kind of people I prefer to interact with,,, let’s get this straight, I like a bastard character who’s kinda tastefully awful to others but not in a severe way but if your character is just Asshole then like. chances are we won’t get along. I’m also vvv much a fan of chaotic muses, smart muses, and definitely muses with a more compassionate personality bc y’know what? that’s kinda exactly what they need!

——— FLUFF / ANGST / SMUT! ♡

FLUFF: Oh yes!!! I love love love both romantic and platonic fluff, just the kind of quality time and gift giving and shit that forges a bond between characters? Good shit, all the time! I love plotted romances so if you have an interest in that don’t hesitate to hit me up bc I’ll definitely do that for you whenever I get the chance

ANGST: OHOHOH... I haven’t actually had the chance to write a lot of angst recently, but both of my characters are BUILT for that shit! I wanna be able to have a plot where just, outbursts happen, trauma gets the better of the muses and they break down and they need comfort, or one of them gets badly hurt or in a bad situation and we’re forced to see how the other one contends with the situation!! I haven’t written that in so so long and I wanna see more of it!!

SMUT: I get it’s not for everyone and I tag all my nsfw on here bc of that (i’ve been thinking of making an nsfw sideblog but idk if there’s any interest,,) but! Writing smut and intimacy between muses is peak shit and I’m ALWAYS down for it!! Both of my muses are down for one night stand stuff as well - although romantic smut is the GOOD good shit always, it’s also really interesting to see how relationships develop as a result of sleeping around and just,,, otherwise casually interacting!

PLOT / MEMES: I find it easier to jump into interactions with a good open starter or an ask meme - I’m actually embarrassingly reliant on ask memes to really get any interaction going one way or the other so I encourage reblogging them and sending some in to me as well!! However! A plotted relationship dynamic is also very very good, I love exploring dynamics like two muses being coworkers/business associates, or roommates or just, someone they met at a bar or something. That’s just for setting the foundation but I also love throwing out ideas for interactions between our muses!! When I get sent a sentence starter meme I always have fun answering them and always look for a thread to sprout from them!!!

tagged by: @aemiliiu (thanks so much hun!!!) Tagging: uhhhhh,,,, I dunno who else would appreciate this but if you wanna have a crack at it, do it and tag me!

#[The Voice From Beyond] OOC

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calamitousrpgarchive · 5 years ago

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Hi. This could be a long shot but I used to rp on jcink and I left it almost a year ago to take a break as I found the communities very toxic. I miss my characters and I forgot you there were rp communities on tumblr! I have never rp'd on tumblr before and I'm not sure how it works, as in where is the actual place where written character posts are or where members chat? I'm a newbie to tumblr rp and would love to join. I would appreciate some advice on how to start! xx

Hey there! Thank for for taking the time to reach out to us, we’re more than happy to try our best and give you to tumblr RP rundown! Sorry to hear you had a poor experience elsewhere - rest assured, if you want to be part of Crooked, we don’t bite! (We even have Game Nights !)

A summary of what I’ll try cover:

Your blog is where you post as your muse/character per se, you can reblog musings and anything you like about your character(s) on here for the group to see.

Your replies/roleplay interactions are also on here where you can post responses to open starters and engage in all that’s happening! (If you don’t use discord - we use it as our OOC platform, your OOC communications will go on your blog(s) too!)

So, to begin, the way the process of on the dash RP-ing works is generally: You create a tumblr account separate to your personal/main. You can use a little trick in the sign-up process to avoid creating new emails and losing track. For example:

[email protected] can be used for your personal tumblr escapades! And then, for an RP one, you can use the same email, but format it like this: [email protected]. (It still goes to your same inbox, but it allows you to have multiple accounts - if you’re using them for different groups.)

I already feel like I might have lost you a little here - so, let me continue off this topic... we can always help you set-up later!

Once you have a tumblr account, you can then decide if you want to keep it organised in the sense of individual character blogs or if you want to compile multiple characters onto one blog; then use the tumblr tagging system to make it clear which you’re using if you have gathered a few muses! We have a mixture in the group who use Mumu blogs (multi-muse) and those who use individuals - it’s purely personal preference! Despite using a Mumu myself here in Crooked, I generally prefer individuals because it makes it a little easier to keep up with the replies I may owe!

Alrighty, so there’s that ramble added... It’s honestly much simpler to navigate than I may be making it out to be - my apologies! Essentially, you reblog interactions at your pace and create new ones for those to engage in and your threads are you ongoing interactions. If you would like some examples, I’ll list the admin blogs below so if you wanted to have a quick scroll for examples of how we kind of interact - there’s not really a right or wrong way!

@crxxkedevil , @twistedxpromises & @eternallyxcrooked

These listed above are all mumu blogs - so we have multiple characters we have compiled into a single blog, whereas we have members that have a main blog and then add side blogs for each picked up OC character. But you should be able to see the method of roleplay in each of these. There is also no rule on length or tense you write in ... you’ll see some variation, I’m sure. As long as it’s understandable and we can gauge interactions, you’re on for a win! Hurrah!

I feel like that’s the getting started basics kind of covered? Everyone has their own tumblr tagging system on their posts to be able to retrieve former interactions and such.

A beneficial program (I’d recommended getting.) is a free add-on for google chrome browsers called XKit as it offers the ability to edit posts once they’ve been posted and you can reblog just the newest interaction instead of swarming the dash with previous/repeat engagements. Honestly, if you haven’t realised I’m Queen of the Rambles - you... do now... but truly, we’re all friendly and willing to help you every step of the way! You’ll pick it up in no time, I’m sure! A lot of information and step-by-steps are covered in sections of the Main blog that might give you some insights beyond my explanations!

As for discord, this is the OOC platform we use for out of character interactions and general day-to-day conversations. (Also, game nights... and lots of other chaos.) It’s also free and is available on both mobile & desktop. There’s no obligation to be part of the server there - but you’re more than welcome to get to know your fellow members and RP-ers! Helps with plotting threads and interactions too.

As a last addition: we’ve broken down the process a little on the Navigation page (Mobile Navigation, here.) so you’re able to look at things pre-application and then post-application to try encourage an ease of access for all. Hopefully by looking at some blog examples of ours and having a meander through the CrookedSoulsRPG main blog that you should find some helpful resources. We also have a resources blog, here if you want to look at gifs and icons... especially if you’re potentially not used to using gifs/icons/gif icons in your interactions, we try to where we can and there’s many faces for inspiration if you haven’t acquired an arsenal of faces yet!

Thank you again for sending this in! I hope that this somewhat helped you in your starting up process? If you need clarification on more, you’re more than welcome to hit us with all the messages you like, or if you want to pop in an application if you think you’e got the ropes and an idea of what muses/characters you wanna throw into the Crooked world. A quick read down our guidelines to check they’re all good for you and you’re away!

We’re more than happy to continue helping you through the process in any way we can - we’re all very welcoming! Please, don’t be shy! Believe me, we’re all been there before, we all start somewhere!

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cxncordia · 6 years ago

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So, am I still in hiatus?

Sorta.

First of all, what happened?

Last night, on the gay smut server, I gave a “gossip” about a topic that came up: it was something I have heard from another friend regarding the topic. And from there on invoked a discussion about social issues in media. My big problem with these discussions of social issues in media is that they tend to turn into a “woke metric” to see which shows deserve more laurels for being more “woke”. After the discussion happened and I was online again, I mentioned my opinion. Sarcastically, sure, but an honest opinion nonetheless. Somebody else mentioned how what I said had nothing to do with the topic and then I elaborated again on it. I stood by my point on a second paragraph, mentioning that things needed to be looked at in context. I didn’t want to keep on discussing, so I went ahead and deleted those messages because, there was no real reason for them to be kept there.

After this discussion I went to get a haircut, but I noticed I could not reach one but two of the indie roleplaying servers I was inside. I thought it was an error, but still asked a friend about it.

Turns out that I was banned.

When I came back from my haircut my friend sent me screenshots of the discussion that happened. Not only was I banned, but I was made out an exhibition and there were some other people adding in very nasty things and unfounded actions that supposedly I did.

I was mad, so for that very reason I came back here, put everything on hiatus and took a step off. I was very close to delete because this is the last straw on a series of times that this shit happened.

But after taking a moment, reading a few books that I have on this kind of situation and taking a moment to myself, I decided that no, I was not going to take a hiatus. One, I like writing and this is something that is inherently me. Two, I have friends in here that I like to keep on touch with and people that were interested in my well being. Three, there’s a lot to be said here and I will use this space to say it.

---

I admit discussions like this aren’t that uncommon in the server and I usually have strong opinions about them. I have also differing opinions at times and I mention them. I admit not having always the best words or sometimes being very sarcastic. Maybe something gets lost in the translation when I’m not being sarcastic? (Because I think a lot of people forget that English IS my second language) Maybe it’s my way of being? It’s not the first time I’ve been called “abrasive” or “combative”.

But it’s also something that I admit I like about being me. As a gay man growing up in a hyper macho family, inside a city that kills people for less than pennies and in a country that still repaints white over rainbow walk lines on the roads during Pride, being combative is the only way of being. Letting someone walking over you is just not an option. And while I admit this is not an excuse, there is also a lot of misjudgement here. You’re also forgetting that I come from a generation that did not have any rights whatsoever and that could not do what many can do now. Gays in my time were a plot twist, a side note, or a thing you translated as “cousins”. So yes, I’m combative.

The server is also forgetting that many times this combative behavior has helped me and them. Or how many times my response came out of provocation. Once when dealing with a horrible troll that was taking screenshots out of our server, creating unnecessary drama and targeting another rper. And another time when I went to the admin asking him to remove a very aggressive roleplayer in the past (who took everything literally and made every single discussion about them). The first time I had to close the server because I was not going to have someone like that. The second time I was told by the admin that they were onto “doing something.” I don’t know if they did or not, but the rper left on their own hand.

Same thing when I was the admin of the server: I had to be there, settle a bunch of discussions and arguments directly with the individuals starting them, from having to face the “selfie leak” (where people were posting their nudes) and the “actor leaks” (where people were posting actors leaks) as well as facing some racist and misogynistic roleplayers. To do all that, I needed that “combative” spirit in order to get down to the bottom of things and set things on their right place for the good of everyone. So yeah, my combative behavior has helped me and has, to a degree, helped the server.

I will admit that I’m aggressive. But I will also admit that I’m not stupid or rigid. When conversing with others and expressing their needs I’m the first one to adjust to their needs as best as I can. And that when being told that I need to correct something, I can do it (as long as within my limits, of course). And when admitting mistakes, I’m also the first one to do it. (Hence the reason to this post). That said: I think I was unjustly banned. I was not given a direct warning and I was blindsided. But I will not go down the rabbit hole of “conspiracy”, it this is true then to each their own.

The combative behavior is only half the problem and that’s on me, I will admit it. But there is also another half of the problem that needs to be addressed.

The other part is the fact that some people just don’t have the skills to call someone up on their “problematic” behavior and instead gang up together and come from behind. The other part of the problem resides in people preferring to adjust others to their experience than to take control of their own comfort (I admit that blocking someone up in discord is difficult because you only see big blocks of text, but hey, you still have control over your experience).

The other part of the problem definitely lays on the fact that the admin didn’t warn me directly at all before the ban came. The times it was done indirectly were so subtle I did not notice and that there was no reason to have been made a show after the ban. (Because also, the server is forgetting the times they “teased” me for being “old” or liking certain things. How they were aggressive and I punched back in retaliation. Are they banning these players on “lack of respect and rudeness” too?)

So with this in mind, some things need to be done:

I apologize to anyone who had a hard time because of my opinions. I admit not seeing how my words could be aggressive and how my behavior probably hurt you. On that, I acknowledge my actions and I’m sorry for hurting you. Know that it was not personal and when it was, it was probably taken privately. That said I still believe that you should do what’s best for you and take matters into creating your own positive experience (like blocking someone you don’t wanna read). I admit that it may be difficult on a place like a public discord server, and for that I apologize as well.

I apologize to anyone who was scared or that I ignored last night. I am sorry, you deserved better. I had no mind to respond to you so that’s why I was evasive. I hope you can find in yourselves to understand where I was coming from and why I did evade you.

Thirdly I apologize to Alex, the main admin of the gay server. I do not believe you did right. I do not believe you did correctly and that I was unjustly banned, but I will give you that it was better for you this way. You avoided any confrontation and any aggression by not facing me or warning me directly, so I can’t blame you for doing what you did. I apologize to you for releasing the content of our conversations. I don’t think I released anything private, but still, that was petty AF of me. At this moment, I still think this was unjust, but maybe in a month or a year I will not even look back at this opinion or give it as much weight as I’m giving it now. So for now, this “hollow” apology is probably the best I can come up with.

That said, I am a firm believer of making my own experience as comfortable as it is for me, so:

I am now fully private, which means that I’m not taking threads from anyone that I don’t know or haven’t talked through in the past few months. I am sorry, but I don’t want to be open at this moment.

I am taking it slow. Very slow. So I am making a slow comeback. It’s not fair to those that played with me and had no bearings in the server matter, so that’s why I’m returning. But I’m gonna go as easy as I can.

There’s a big chance that I’m restricting myself from playing with anyone associated with that server. I know that this is my pettiness again. So, I’m going to put on hold the threads of the people that I know are in the server and ask myself of this rule in a week to see how I feel.

I am not exposing my opinion on tons of matters and it’s very likely that I will unfollow those blogs that I know do a lot of these commentaries. I’m also unfollowing rpers who do tons of OOC posts. My problem is that I’m a very reactive individual that when reading something that is BS or simply doesn’t sit right with me, I will speak up. I realize that yeah, not everybody wants to read my opinion, but also that there’s a lot of misinformed people that I enjoy correcting. So, for both of our sakes I am doing something there.

So, lesson learned?

It’s too early to call it that. And it’s too early to call an epiphany. But know that I will keep my truth as best as I can and I will focus on cherish the people that do love me and support me.

#el griton: ooc

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sineala · 7 years ago

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hi uh, it's the stupid-question anon again. what i meant is, even if you manage to complete a story, it's stuck at around 5-6K words, and you somehow just can't write anything more than that measly word count, whether complete or not. but it seems you've never had that problem, so thank-you anyway for the response!

It’s still not a stupid question, and, yes, absolutely I have been in that situation. Before I did NaNoWriMo I definitely hadn’t written more than 5k of anything and literally none of it was finished. It took me a while to get to Hey You Can Finish Things and then Hey You Can Write Long Things and then Hey You Can Finish Long Things. These are all separate stages! I promise you I did not spring into being knowing how to finish a 100,000 word story. I learned how to do it and I firmly believe that you can too. I started off writing extremely mediocre unfinished Iceman/Gambit hurt/comfort songfic in which the song in question was in French and all accents were spelled phonetically! If you read it you would cry! And they wouldn’t be good tears!

First off, I wouldn’t call a 5-6k story measly. Some of my favorite stories are short stories. @kiyaar, for example, can routinely DESTROY ME in about two thousand words. Sometimes less. I have favorite stories in other fandoms that are literally just drabbles, traditional hundred-word drabbles. Some ideas just lend themselves to being told in 5000 words. That’s not a problem, in my view. That’s just the nature of the particular story that you’re trying to tell. And, hey, I would say that if you are actually FINISHING STORIES, of any length, that is amazing and that is a heck of a lot better than I was doing when I started. So go you!

But if what you’re saying is that you are dissatisfied with the length of the stories that you are writing and you would be happier with your writing if only you could write long stories, that is a different problem. I am no kind of writing professional, but this is what I would suggest:

Try NaNoWriMo, or a similar writing challenge with a length requirement. The goal is just to get the words out. It doesn’t matter how good they are. It doesn’t matter if your plot makes sense. Just start with something, anything, and keep writing. You are going to sit there and write 1,667 words per day for a month and by the end of the month you will have 50,000 words. They might not be your favorite words, and you might not be finished with the story by the end, but they will be 50,000 words of a story. As long as you keep putting words on the page, you will get there. Just keep going. Look, in my one NaNo novel I made half of the story take place in a dream of the characters’ past lives on an alien planet and this was probably a terrible narrative idea but while I was writing it it was amazing because if I couldn’t think of what to write in the actual plot I could just make all the characters fall asleep again and have another dream.

(Something like a Big Bang is also a possibility, in which you would be matched with an artist; I find them motivating because for me a great writing motivation is the fear of disappointing other people who were counting on me to finish the story. You may want to wait until you know you can write to that length before trying one. Or just throw yourself in the deep end of the pool! It’s all good.)

If you have the ideas but the problem arises in the act of Getting The Words Out, finding a group of people who do writing sprints may be helpful. (You can also do them yourself, but I find that having other people is the key for me.) Basically this is everyone setting a time and then writing for 15-20 minutes and then cheering each other on. On the 616 Steve/Tony server we actually have a bot to run sprints for us and keep statistics of your wpm and personal best and so on.

If the problem is that the ideas you are thinking of just can’t sustain a longer story, there are also answers to that one. There are probably books about plotting and various writing exercises and whatnot and if any of that seems like it’s helpful to you, then go for it, but off the top of my head, the way to Get More Words is twofold:

One: Just be more wordy. Expand sentences, expand thoughts, describe things more. Maybe this is where one of those writing-exercise books would help. I don’t know what your style is, but if you’re not verbose, play around a little. Use all the adjectives! What is your POV character thinking right now? How about now?

Two: Get another plot or two. Honestly the reason I end up with these monster stories is that I generally underestimate how long it is going to take to resolve my B-plot. But the more plots you add, the longer the story will be. Say you want to write a story where Steve and Tony have to learn to love each other again at the beginning of Avengers v4 and trust each other and deal with all their unresolved Civil War feelings. You could have them have a few conversations and that would be over in 5k, easy. But if they’re still trying to learn how to be friends again and the problem is also that Tony was damn near positive that the SHRA database was deleted because he has the amnesia to prove it, but now someone is abducting kids with minor superpowers whose only commonality is that they were probably on the list that he no longer remembers and he has to work together with Steve and Steve’s sneaky black-ops team and deal with all the feelings he has about that (possibly especially given that Steve is dating Sharon again who is on the black-ops team, and maybe that isn’t going so well)... well, that’s more than 5k, and also sign me up because I wanna read that. Goddammit, I might even want to write that.

I hope that helps some. Really, honestly, this is a thing you can learn to do. I promise it is learnable. It’s not magic. It’s practice. It’s a lot of practice and a lot of just sitting there and getting the words out.

#Anonymous #replies

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astroellipse · 4 years ago

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live blogging but it’s all one post and not actually live at all. this one is really long open at your own peril.

This has to be one of my favorite cutscenes in the game... I skipped most of the cutscenes in this questline with “Tsuyu” and whatever else went on because I don’t care for it, aside from some funny Asahi bits. And this cutscene is the KING of funny Asahi scenes, him just getting straight up murdered. It’s even funnier the second time around because now I realize... he was never actually acknowledged by Zenos. That was Elidibus controlling his body, simply using Asahi’s devotion for his own devices. And I realize now that Elidibus was trying to back up Emet-Selch’s own carefully laid plans, which... is something to keep in mind for later. I can’t wait to see more of Fandaniel later I love his/Asahi’s voice actor. And I know it’s fairly negative in this case but I can’t help but enjoy the campy villains...

And now I can finally stop skipping cutscenes! I realize I just now skipped the part where Alphinaud set out on his doomed journey to Garlemald, but... man I didn’t want to hear Gosetsu cry about Tsuyu I just hate that plot point so much. They really shoulda just let them die.

Oh my god I forgot that Gosetsu is bald now. I know it’s like a tradition thing and serious and everything but. Hhhh he looks so silly without it... Doesn’t help that it lets you see the outlines of all the polygons comprising his head...

Oh man I appear to have gotten events swapped around. Is it now that we see that energy source on the Azim Steppe? We’re about to go and put up that barrier in the Brume, which I’m pretty sure i thought came after ShB for whatever reason. I think I’ve mentioned it in a previous post... though that one I also think I deleted for an unrelated reason, I think because I was tired and got some details wrong and in my frustration and exhaustion threw the whole thing out. I’ll have to write down those particular thoughts again, after I see whatever it is that’s about to happen.

Oh man. i wonder if Hien doesn’t realize that Y’shtola is blind. They get to the Azim Steppe and he’s immediately like “Let me show you my favorite spot where you can see the pretty fields and sky :)” and she returns with “Yeah yeha okay let’s get on with what we came here to do”. Very funny. Actually Hien and Y’shtola are in general very funny together I like seeing him react to her talking to him like he’s an idiot.

So, the legend goes that a “wayfaring soul” came to the Steppe and received a sliver of Nhaama’s power in the form of a shard, and used it to cleft the earth and raise it to the heavens to avert calamity, then made an offering of blood. The sliver of power is Allagan technology, which was used to raise Azys Lla and create Dalamud. The dialogue has been very particular about referring to the person in this story as “wayfaring soul” and not shorter synonyms like “traveler”, which i think is probably deliberate? Especially with this now being the lead-up to ShB.

I guess now would be a good time to re-write some of my thoughts about the Steppe. It is not an original theory that Azim the god and Azem the ancient are related if not one in the same. They are both light, and related to travel. The WoL is expressly referred to as a traveler by Cirina’s grandmother, and iirc Azem is as well. Azim descended from the heavens to walk amongst his children, who are all nomadic. If they do have a relation, then the people of the Azim Steppe might be thought of as Azem’s people. I say this because I’ve been wondering why the Empire hasn’t touched the Azim Steppe, the real reason. The Xaela would make incredibly useful conscripts, and could be easily trounced by a suitably large magitek army during any one of their squabbles, or I’m sure the Empire could destabilize them in any other way. And that isn’t even to mention the large energy source hidden away in its cliffs, which have to be giving off some kind of signal. I wonder if the Empire ignoring the Steppe has anything to do with Solus and his sentiment for Azem.

I suppose I should actually get on with re-seeing this part, then.

God. I love y’shtola the bit with Magnai is so good. The voice acting. He sounds so hurt with his “Little...?”. “Look into my eyes” She’s blind you absolute dumbass.

Alright. Well. I didn’t actually gleam anything new. We’re about to go into the meeting sequence and. God. This is another one of my favorite cutscenes in the game. the visual effect used to represent the WoL’s soul being torn from their body is so cool... I wonder which outfit I should wear? I’ve changed all of them I think since uploading screenshots last. AST is cute and what I’ve been using for the last few quests to soak what little exp I can, but... this is a bit too serious for a cute healer in a skirt and glasses, plus the collar on the shirt would cover his face in some of the shots... DRG it is again then, I guess. It has sort of taken over as my primary class. I enjoy playing it more than BRD :\

“Let us hope that the coming meeting passes more peacably than the last such gathering in ala Mhigo” jfc Y’shtola. Hhhhhooooo here we go!!!!!!! Hhhhh I love Alisaie I remember this was the part that solidified her as precious little sister numero uno.... god... the scene where she gets taken away I’m already nearly tearing up I love Shadowbringers man holy shit.

Raha you dumbass!!!!! Endangering everyone like that. Literally takes five tries before he gets it right, and trying to explain everything while the WoL can’t rightly hear. I know he’s desperate but goddamn dude. Just. God. I’m so excited. I’m excited to see Urianger get to be an actual character again. I’m excited for the Scions to actually care about each other and especially the WoL. Also to see Doran grapple with these troubles as Secret did, finally finally learning why the hell he’s here, what Secret is and what he is, and... coming to terms with it. He was excited when it first happened, before his memory was sapped, mostly a product of being fused with Secret for so long without a will of his own, but... after experiencing all this, seeing these people as his friends. Learning to accept his place in the story much more easily than Secret...

There’s a reason I’ve kept the title “The Last Resort” on him. It’s for my own purposes. Secret has still not accepted that she as a person, though not her soul was created for the sole purpose of being a hero. If she can’t accept this in time... she might resort to letting Doran take the reins. Forfeiting her personhood altogether. This path would rely on unofficial lore about Fantasia, about how it warps reality to make it so that you were always this race or that... I might actually do it, too. I’ve done more things right with Doran, and I have friends on this server. I... suppose Secret would take Doran’s place in my personal narrative then. Which. Feels bad. Like a disservice to Secret, though... I suppose it doesn’t have to be. At this point Doran is still no less relevant to her. Secret will have simply gotten literally washed away with her memories.

I’m uh. Starting to think I might be too attached to Secret. The thought of having her not be my main character, of neglecting her in any way, of having to make this choice is. Making me genuinely emotional... though I suppose I’ve seen enough people on here talk about how they cry about ocs and whatnot.

Anyhow. I think I might change Doran’s hairstyle for Shadowbringers. might make it longer. It seems only appropriate, it having been so long... and something more elegant would be fitting. Maybe I’ll finally find and settle on an AST glam that is suitably pretty. I adore my current one for how cute it is but it doesn’t exactly fit ShB’s vibes.

Oh wait back to serious stuff. It’s funny that Lyse didn’t get called. G’raha explained it as the people closest to the WoL were called, and... for even Urianger to be called and not Lyse. It has funny implications.

MAN....... WHY does this game put Alisaie through so much :(((((((( Endwalker had BETTER give her and Alphinaud some damn good development like they implied. LET THE WoL BE THEIR OLDER SIBLING OR SOMETHING...... The WoL and Alphinaud were so good together during HW, and then them and Alisaie in this sequence and a few other scenes before now and during ShB but... it just doesn’t feel like it’s there during ShB, not with all the other adult characters around.

Granted I do this with every kid in this game. I saw Myste and even before I knew what their deal was it was just

this plays in my head every single time i see a kid. Let me adopt Unukalhai. Game. Game I am demanding now let the WoL care about others. That poor kid has just been sitting in the Solar for two entire expansions then some, and not even as a result of being a necessary quest npc stuck in a time bubble like Urianger’s double in the Waking Sands like he’s aware of what’s going on. I... actually imagine he might be relevant in Endwalker. Reaper comes with your very own voidsent, which means the void will be relevant again which might mean Unukalhai will be relevant!!! At the very least to the Reaper questline, if it has one.

Continuing the story again. Actually you know what LET THE WOL HUG THEIR FUCKING FRIENDS!!! It wouldn’t take THAT long to set it up for each different race which I assume is what keeps them from having the WoL physically interacting with much of anything but it would be SO GOOD!!! IT WOULD BE WORTH IT!!! I wanna give Alisaie a hug she’s suffering so much :(

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH IT’S HIM HIM HIM HIM IT’S EMET-SELCH FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YES! HELL YES I’VE BEEN WAITING!!!!!!!!!I forgot he was introduced here!!!!!!!!!!! It sounds like his voice actor hasn’t settled into his voice yet at this point though :0 And his theme!!! i love his theme I thought it was so weird at first but it’s fitting...

Oh my god did they not update Varis’s model since his debut? Look at this shit

Why are his pupils square... and blown up as it is on my screen it’s like... i can see individual splotches of color on his texture??? Incomparison Emet-Selch’s eyes are still sharp up close and instead of weird splotchy skin you can see individual pores. I just. Why. Didn’t they update him???

OH LMAO RIGHT AND THEN VARIS JUST SHOOTS HIM! GOD. And the FACE they have him make. Emet-Selch is such a good character.

Actually I’ve decided that Garleans are just ugly. I think that’s just it actually.

And then there’s... Black Rose, was it called? This would be confusing to see if you didn’t do those sidequests in Gyr Abania. Granted they were to unlock aether currents but I imagine plenty of people skipped them. This would have been a very abrupt introduction, and it loses relevance so soon after...

Hmm. With the story bringing back what I now realize are forgotten/resolved tidbits about the Empire, I can’t help but wonder if they’ll bring back the Optimates, what with us finally seeing the Garlemald in person in Endwalker. They would make for a good enough rival faction.

I have... changed Doran’s hair... it’s really just his old hairstyle but longer, the highlights are even in the same place though they’re fainter. He has gone through subtle changes between expansions. First I changed his lips to a darker color, flip flopping between not wearing lipgloss to a peach color then to as dark as you can get without wearing actual lipstick. Then I changed his eyebrows, still short but angled slightly downwards. And now his hair is long... the implication is that he’s let it grow out over time. It looks nice with most of his outfits, even plays nice with DRG’s hood, though as I expected my previous AST glam is a no-go. It actually looks cute from the front but it sticks right through them hem in the back and we can’t have that.

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh may have just spent 800k gil on a nice shirt. On the bright side my AST glam is now just about as pretty as I can get it. I took the vibe I liked from the old one and now Doran’s a little... uh... maybe I shouldn’t have given him long hair.....

Ah shit I haven’t put together a GNB glam yet and I’m running low on funds... the only reason I could even afford that shirt was bc one of my fc members gave me and the only other guy that was on 1mil one night at random :| I really like the current glam but... it’s too cartoony for ShB!!!! hhhhhhhh Maybe I’ll be able to utilize some of the next Scion set once I get it...

hhh back to story... there’s this person in my FC that’s super talkative, but 56 and married and getting into over-sharing territory :| not like... weird oversharing but man I don’t need to know you get hives that was unprompted. Chill otherwise and it IS like 12 but wtv.

Aw man if that guy in the most recent trailer really was the twins’ dad then no wonder Alphinaud is out here looking to make any man who’s nice to him out as a father figure. There’s Estinien, Arenvald, now Gaius... and you might count Urianger and Thancred, and maybe the WoL.

Oh, Ascian lore! There’s a hierarchy. Red masks stand above black, already knew this. Those joined to the Source stand above those adrift in the shard. I don’t think I would have understood this the first time.

“A silent agent of death... Now that I think on it, Black Rose may well possess the perfect aspect.” I... is this him pondering whether this is how the Calamity will take shape, or deciding it?

Oh I really don’t like Varis’s voice acting. I’m glad he dies soon. Although, that “... It was by design!?” was pretty good. So is that information that Garlemald is an Ascian construction is absolutely hilarious, as is Emet-Selch toying with Varis.

OH. Emet-Selch has all these clones because Varis choose him as a test subject while messing around with Allagan cloning technology. I thought for some reason that the clones had been Emet-Selch’s doing.

“I’ve a feeling this won’t be the last time his bravery in the Empire will serve us here in Eorzea.” Said by Raubahn about Alphinaud setting back Black Rose production. Probably obvious foreshadowing for Endwalker.

Sharlyan... attempted to negotiate peace with the Empire? That’s not exactly surprising, though it is still new to me. Tucked in optional standing-around dialogue from Alisaie

Oh my GOD I hate Varis and his idiot hat. This scene is so uncomfortable and not just because I have to hear Varis speak. All of the city-state leaders act like monumental shitheads just to create tension and let Varis put them down it’s stupid. You idiots you’re supposed to be engaging in peace talks not venting about the Empire. Put aside your pride and play parley with the single most hated man in the world. It’s literally all just to stall for time, why would they do any of this. And oh my god, who even let Aymeric speak here. He brings up his stupid little battle with the dragons or his daddy issues at every opportunity. Yes yes we all played Heavensward but I can assure you it was not for its politics or message about war. Like yeah that whole ordeal ended terribly. We just killed the evil people/dragons and that was that. Solved purely through force.

Hhhh I forgot about this. That Varis AGREED with the Ascians. “There will be but one race--a perfect race--as we were when time began.” HHghghh. Oh right and he freely admits the bit about Garlemald being built by an Ascian.

Hm. Currently the Ascians’ plan is to bring about more Calamities which would be terrible and kill lots of people. Fandaniel... wants to kill everyone. I wonder how he accounts for the other shards. Wouldn’t it have made sense to at least try and work with his fellow Ascians? Either to round all up all the souls in one place before blowing it all to hell, or by sabotaging their plans and creating more situations like the one that created the Void. Or if decimating the Source would kill everyone anyways.

“Don’t you dare leave me alone.” ALISAIEEEEEEEEEEEEE AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I HATE THIS PART! I HATE IT! DON’T TAKE HER AWAY THAT SCENE HURTS SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!

Taking a break to do my dailies for poetics bc I BARELY make the ilvl requirement for the next dungeon. anyhow. In this prae run there’s a Haurchefant look-alike called “Haurchefant Corpse”. He’s wearing a white suit and a halo, and is a scholar. I’m still laughing man wtf!!! Dude kinda sucks though he didn’t summon his fairy before the battle with Nero and only got out like two offensive spells lmao

Alright. Story again. G’RAHA. STOP BEING A CRYPTIC ASSHOLE!!! ALISAIE!!!!!!!!! HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I KNOW THEY REUNITE SOON BUT... HER REACHING FOR THE WoL... WHO LET THEM BOTH ONTO THE BATTLEFIELD!!!!! I’ll fucking cry man... this is cruel...

Oh my god I was looking to see if there were any story sidequests at this level i skipped the first time and saw that there IS story with Unukalhai that I haven’t seen, currently. Because I haven’t been able to do all of the savage trials with him... maybe once I get to 80 I’ll be able to convince someone to unsync them with me for first clears... the questline is called “Void Quests” too... Ah. To do this last questline you have to have ALSO done all the role quests. Good thing I’m leveling one of each currently lmao... wait. I don’t have a caster. I suppose I’ll have to level summoner on him after all...

“But no one is invincible, Doran. Not even you. So please, take care of yourself out there.” Foreshadowing of the WoL nearly getting merc’d on the battle field. Side note I had to look that up because I’ve been thinking of that word a lot lately. And now realize that it is not a real word but a gaming term? Also that it’s written like that. It comes from CoD4. Or. Actually. reading more I have no clue where it comes from though I did know it was in relation to mercenaries at its root even if its meaning doesn’t.

Ah... speaking of this is probably the last story bit I’m going to do before bed. Though. I... think this leads right into entering Norvrandt. Oh holy shit Doran’s forehead is so big now. he looks so goofy in this shot they took away his fucking eyebrows.

I’ve mostly been wearing his new AST glam since I changed his hair and that at least has glasses... and GNB wears a full-face mask and BRD has a half-face mask. But this. This looks like a lil bit silly ngl.

Ohhh I forgot you fight as Hien against Elidibus/Zenos... While waiting for the WoL to arrive. i love fighting as DRG against Zenos. Same reason as I enjoy using SMN. Fighting using the power of a beast, it’s fitting. Also goddammit G’raha... Why are you so stupid. My guy. Thank goodness Estinien is some kind of stalker because my god. Ohhhh riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight it’s later you actually go to Norvrandt. Rn you just get a lil peek at G’raha. Again, waaaay too recognizable. Literally not even a secret.

Hhhgh... hearing Aymeric speak to the WoL.... they are Friends it is Cute. He like... actually tries, I realize. He makes it clear that he’s fond of the WoL past the obvious hero stuff. Godddddddd this is adorable... Aymeric is still an idiot but he is an incredibly endearring idiot. Ah... and Count edmont comes to visit too. His fatherly relationship with the WoL is adorable as well... I still remember their moment during the DRK questline.

Hhhhhhhhhhhhhggggggg and Tataru crying about seeing the WoL... fwiends... ShB is GOOD. And the WoL goes and kneels in front of her.. ghghhh

Ahh that WAS finally the end of the intermediate stuff. Oh my god I love this game. Jesus christ this is so good. And I finally got the new travelling outfit! Hopefully this��ll give me an idea for a GNB glam... I... can’t use the body piece cause it’s too gaudy but the others would work maybe.

Oh shit I finally lost my sprout too! I’m gonna stop writing now just gotta finish up some business...

#mmorpg hell

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tinypurpleparrot · 7 years ago

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Fanfiction Writer Asks

Fuck it, I’ll do it myself, because I know I can’t count on you nerds to actually ask anything. :p

1) How old were you when you first starting writing fanfiction?

I really don’t know. I’ve been writing creatively since I was like 6. I don’t really remember writing for fandom until Pokémon, but I’ve been in fandom since the original Sailor Moon and Ronin Warriors/Samurai Troopers.

2) What fandoms do you write for and do you have a particular favourite if you write for more than one?

I guess the Yogscast. Except I only really like a few of them, and it sure as shit isn’t the main channel people. I haven’t found a new obsession because I can’t sit still for tv anymore, and I’m a patient gamer/reader. So once I find something I like, it’s probably old and everyone’s already moved on.

3) Do you prefer writing OC’s or reader inserts? Explain your answer.

OCs. I am boring, shy (and thus no fun), and quite good at ruining the moment.

4) What is your favourite genre to write for?

Action/Adventure. Fight scenes. Getting out of dire as fuck situations. Underdogs.

5) If you had to choose a favourite out of all of your multi chaptered stories, which would it be and why?

I have so many… XP I guess a story I wrote in called Royal Infamy. It was literally hundreds of pages long, spanned at least 4 different fandoms, and could’ve been a standalone series if I just changed the names. Unfortunately it’s been lost to the ooooolllllddddd (and I mean 2001) internet. I like to think that maybe it’s on some ancient server, saved by those sorts of people who try to archive the entire internet and have literal exabytes of hoarded data. It was also how I met my SO of 13 years.

6) If you had to delete one of your stories and never speak of it again, which would it be and why?

A Prince of Persia fic. I don’t even like Prince of Persia.

7) When is your preferred time to write?

I never get as much inspiration as when it’s 1am and I’m supposed to be going to bed like a normal person. But never at a normal hour in the evening unless I’m inspired at work and have to rush home before I forget.

8) Where do you take your inspiration from?

It used to be from all the anime I used to watch, now it’s cobbled together from fantasy books and video games.

9) In your xxx fic, what’s your favourite scene that you wrote?

Like erotic fic? Eeeh. I’m so terrible at it that I literally only have one, I’m writing it right now, I’m not finished, and I don’t particularly like it because I keep subconsciously writing away from the part where they hold hands because I’m conflicted and discomforted by the whole thing, to be honest. Like, even when I was adolescent and supposed to be thirsty as teenagers are, I just wasn’t and couldn’t. My ex tried to get me to write something for him, and I still couldn’t do it. *shrug* It doesn’t help that I’ve never been big on shipping. …Those characters sure are standing next to each other, yep.

10) In your xxx fic, why did you decide to end it like that? Did you have an alternative ending in mind?

Hahah… endings. That’s good. (Also see previous question.)

11) Have you ever amended a story due to criticisms you’ve received after posting it?

Not that I can recall, unless you count ‘stop doing that thing’, ‘okay’ *does it more*

12) Who is your favourite character to write for? Why?

Rythian. Fuckin’ edgelord. Just everything about him and his OC is *kisses fingers*.

13) Who is your least favourite character to write for? Why?

Unfortunately Rythian is usually entangled with other people from the Yogscast. :p

14) How did you come up with the title for the xxx?

Current project doesn’t even have a title, that’s how non-committed I am to it (she says even though it’s fast approaching a novelette.)

15) If you write OC’s, how do you decide on their names?

If it’s an OC of a particular universe, there’s probably a naming convention, and I go by many names. If it’s just generic freestanding story, I keysmash and pick through it until it rolls off the tongue.

16) How did you come up with the idea for xxx?

Classic ‘rivals who hide their sexual tension behind their distaste for one another.’

17) Post a line from a WIP that you’re working on.

“I haven’t seen your face since when you first came back from The End. And the … incident with trying to rid you of your curse.” He chuckled. “I’ve actually seen a lot more than your scars.”

18) Do you have any abandoned WIP’s? What made you abandon them?

Like 75% of my work is abandonware. I have ADHD, I get bored, and I usually take so long, the fandom “dies” before I can finish. And the moment is gone.

19) Are there any stories that you’ve written that you’d really love to do a sequel to?

Royal Infamy. And make it mine this time.

20) Are there any stories that you wished you’d ended differently?

Probably Royal Infamy.

21) Tell me about another writer(s) who you admire? What is it about them that you admire?

Ilona Andrews. Her style is exactly what I aim for. …Okay maybe not the monster fucking, but the rest of it. Exciting, tense, a little bit scary.

22) Do you have a story that you look back on and cringe when you reread it?

The Prince of Persia fic. The first draft of the erofic. The weeb crack.

23) Do you prefer listening to music when you’re writing or do you need silence?

Silence. My brain goes 100% towards analyzing music and then I can’t focus on anything else.

24) How do you feel about writing smutty scenes?

Eeeeeeehhhhhh *whines* I don’t wanna…

25) Have you ever cried whilst writing a story?

Nope. I don’t write that kind of pain.

26) Which part of your xxx fic was the hardest to write?

The part where these two people who’ve tried to murder each other could even reasonably be in each other’s presence, let alone fuck. Also eternal hatred for evasive genital description brought on by a broken, puritan society.

27) Do you make a general outline for your stories or do you just go with the flow?

I should start making outlines. My current three projects keep going off the rails.

28) What is something you wished you’d known before you started posting fanfiction?

To go in with no expectations of people ever responding let alone giving feedback to anything. You’re just tossing shit in a hole and for every ton, one flower might grow.

29) Do you have a story that you feel doesn’t get as much love as you’d like?

I did a thing about how Lalnable Hector created Echo, and *crickets*.

30) In contrast to 29 is there a story which gets lots of love which you kinda eye roll at?

Twenty years later, I still get emails about a fic I wrote about Birdy the Mighty (C-tier anime about a dead boy soul-sharing an intergalactic cop’s body.)

31) Send me a fic recommendation and I’ll post it for my followers to see! (The asker is to send the rec not the answerer)

32) Are any of your characters based on real people?

Other than putting slivers of wish fulfillment in, no.

33) What’s the biggest compliment you’ve gotten?

Someone found a fic I wrote in two weeks in an archive over 20 years old and sent me kudos. Like, that shit should’ve been buried. But they found it.

34) What’s the harshest criticism you’ve gotten?

Mary Sue. And you’re goddamn right she was. And I’ll fucking do it again.

35) Do you share your story ideas with anyone else or do you keep them close to your chest?

Nope, not for fear or anything, I just don’t think to share before it’s done because I’ll probably abandon it anyway.

36) Can you give us a spoiler for one of your WIP’s?

You’ll be unsatisfied with the ending.

37) What’s the funniest story you’ve written?

You fucking made me open one of my old Gundam Wing crack fics to check. Now I don’t know because I’m still cringing.

38) If you could collab with any other writer on here, who would it be? (Perhaps this question will inspire some collabs!) If you’re shy, don’t tag the blog, just name it.

*shrug* Like… I haven’t done a collab in *checks calendar* 17 years. I don’t have any live fandoms. I’m not big on trying to meld with other people’s styles.

39) Do you prefer first, second or third person?

Third.

40) Do people know you write fanfiction?

No.

41) What’s your favourite minor character you’ve written?

Can’t think of one. I usually don’t have minor/background characters?

42) Song fic - What made you decide to use the song xxx for xxx.

…Okay, now I seriously can’t tell if xxx means erotic or a particular example. 😐 Anyway, I for some reason lost the ability to link songs to fics/personalities. I just don’t think of any particular person when I hear a song and vice-versa.

43) Has anyone ever guessed the plot twist of one of your fics before you posted it?

That would imply enough people cared.

44) What is the last line you wrote?

Despite the queen pushing him, he couldn’t move even if he wanted to (which he didn’t.)

45) What spurs you on during the writing process?

If I don’t fucking do this it’s going to bother the fuck out of me for weeks, even if I don’t finish. Just get it on paper so it goes away.

46) I really loved your xxx fic. If you were ever to do a sequel, what do you think might happen in it?

More action and intrigue.

47) Here’s a fic title - insert a made up title. What would this story be about?

48) What’s your favourite trope to write?

The antagonist finds the protagonist’s berserk button and realizes that maybe they should not have pushed it.

49) Can you remember the first fic you read? What was it about?

I can’t remember fics I wrote. And shit, that was at least 23 years ago. (She says even though she can perfectly remember her first fantasy novel 30 years ago. (The Gammage Cup))

50) If you could write only angst, fluff or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why?

Angst. I think. I’ve gotten good feedback from my more serious stuff.

#fanfiction #about #check out my fanfiction tag. :p

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baby-come-bach · 5 years ago

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All writing asks!

Oh daaaamn! Thanks, bro!! @brynhildr13 !!!!

In response to this post!

1. What is your preferred place to write (notebook, laptop, cellphone, etc.)?

~Normally I try to do everything on my laptop in Zoho’s Notebook app. I seriously love the app, and there’s a desktop and mobile version that will sync so if you’re on the go you can still edit your notes! If I’m ever stuck I’ll hand write in a paper notebook and that usually works really well for me.

2. When did you start writing?

~I started writing back in the third grade, when I wrote and illustrated a comic series called The Evil Substitute Teacher from Mars! Obviously it was of a third grade quality and I had no intentions of being a writer at that point, but it was the first time I seriously flexed my skills even though it was just for fun!

I started writing fanfiction in my freshman year of high school.

3. What is your favorite thing to write?

~I love to write stories that take characters through intense emotional journeys. I absolutely love quality character development when you can track it from beginning to end.

4. Fluff or angst?

~Angst. I have little to no interest in writing a love story or love encounters as the primary plot. It’s hard to emulate the kinds of emotions people feel during those encounters when I’ve had minimal experience.

5. How would you describe your style?

~Hmmm . . . I would say . . . healthily balanced between pragmatics and prose. I try to make things as literal as I can when there’s action happening, but when I describe character’s emotions I literally love to pour on the cheese.

6. Where do you usually find inspiration?

~In general, for overall fanfic concepts I’ll find it in the source material, in a detail that wasn’t well-expanded. For specific ideas within a story, and for specific language to describe something I’ll borrow from both the source material and other writers in canon-based fics.

7. Do you listen to music to help you write?

~Hell yes.

8. What’s the biggest “challenge” for you as a writer?

~I love to write and I mainly write for myself - meaning I write the stories that I would want to read. But it’s extremely easy to fall into the “Nobody else will want to read this/Nobody is reading this = it must be bad and I’m a terrible writer” mindset. Surprisingly, that hits me harder than comparing myself to other writers. I understand and embrace that my style is different and the way I tell stories is unique. I actually really love how I write in comparison. I also struggle with pacing.

9. Where do you usually go to write (bedroom, living room, etc.)?

~When I’m at home, my bedroom. However, occasional changes in scenery do wonders for my inspiration, so I also love public libraries. When it’s very late at night (and it usually is because I’m a night owl to begin with and I work two jobs), I love to go to Denny’s. The people at my local Denny’s know me by name and I have the same server almost every time. They let me sit there for hours and hours (and if I do stay, I always leave a gigantic tip).

10. Can you give us a sneak peek of your current WIP?

~We’re mid-fight scene and this is unedited (I’m just really self-conscious lmao). It’s from my Dissidia fanfic, A Petal Among Thorns:

“’Cosmos's assassins!’ the Emperor sneered. He laughed, calling his staff from its resting place next to the throne. "I'm glad you could make it!" Removing Cloud first would be the most important thing. That, and deflecting Terra's magic. Cloud lifted his sword behind his head and slashed it down, and an arc of power careened off the blade towards him. The Emperor slammed the end of his staff into the ground and called a cluster of purple mines in its path. The Blade Beam collided with the mines and they detonated on contact in a cloud of smoke, the sound booming through Pandaemonium.”

11. How many stories have you written so far?

~18, though not all are complete.

12. What’s your favorite thing you ever wrote?

~In the first version of A Petal Among Thorns, I wrote a giant fight scene between a goddess and her warriors. It was intense and epic, and really maximized my skills at the time, and I loved every second of it.

13. How many chapters does your longest series have?

~Well, the new and improved version of A Petal Among Thorns has 45 posted chapters at 171k words, and I’m working on 46. The original Petal, which I finished, ended with 64 and had 108k words. Both are my longest so far. the most words, though, is Horrible Bosses with just under 200k.

14. What’s my favorite character/person to write for?

~This is so tough. But I think the Emperor for A Petal Among Thorns. He’s a classic kind of “Muahahaha” villain and I absolutely love getting into that evil headspace.

15. “OCs” or “Reader” inserts?

~If it’s an either/or question, then I say OCs. But nothing against Reader inserts. I love those, too. If it’s a do I read or write them question, then not really. I did one back when I was in high school. But I do read them and I support writers who do. There’s no such thing as cringe culture anymore so don’t let any elitists make you feel shitty for writing them.

16. Can you tell us anything about your current WIP?

~Sure. I’ve got four major ones:

1. A Petal Among Thorns (Dissidia Final Fantasy) - Cosmos just sent a group to take care of the Emperor since he’s been plaguing her and her warriors, but they’re caught unprepared when they realize he’s been secretly amassing power.

2. The Krypt (Mortal Kombat) - The group just found Master Hasashi and Kenshi, two out of the whole group they’ve been looking for. Their next order of business is to escape the spider caves, but it won’t be so easy.

3. Legends Yet (Final Fantasy XII) - Balthier and Fran are preparing to infiltrate the Archadian Palace to go after a special item. Little do they know the palace is more prepared than they thought.

4. This is My Punishment (Final Fantasy VII: Dirge of Cerberus) - The Turks go looking for Vincent after he fails to report in. They confront Dr. Hojo about it, but he’s smug and disinterested.

17. How long was the longest fic you ever wrote?

~The longest COMPLETE story I ever wrote was the original A Petal Among Thorns with 64 chapters at 108k words. The longest INCOMPLETE story I have right now is the rewrite of A Petal Among Thorns with 46 chapters at 171k words. The most words I ever wrote was Horrible Bosses at just under 200k but with only 15 chapters.

18. What fandoms do you write for?

~Final Fantasy and Mortal Kombat and Hetalia are pretty much it right now, but a variety of FFs! I have written for Assassin’s Creed too, and Voltron, and I did one very self-indulgent Black Butler self-insert.

19. What is/are your favorite fandom author/authors?

~Poisonous Panda on AO3 (she used to have a tumblr but she deactivated for some reason), and Jaydee Grey on ff.net

20. Have you ever written an AU?

~No. All my stories take place in the actual world and parameters of canon. Although, I guess Petal could be considered one, since Rosa was never called to the cycles in any Dissidia game except Opera Omnia . . . ?

21. What’s your favorite AU trope?

~I don’t know if I have one. I read them but they’re not my go-to. I usually stick to canon stuff first.

22. A fanfiction cliché you can’t help but love?

~Hmmmm . . . I think descriptions of eyes. Not like, the word ‘orbs’ or anything, but the use of gemstones to describe color. I love the aesthetics associated with gemstones and their luster and how they shine, so if someone has “emerald green” eyes, or “amber” eyes, “crystalline blue”, etc. It makes me understand that their characters’ eyes are aglow with something, that they have character or passions or an ideas.

23. For how long have you been a fandom writer?

~I started my freshman year of high school, so . . . 10 years?

24. Have you ever had an idea for a story and forgot about it?

~No, I usually write stuff down right away. But as I develop my stories they rarely stay along the path enough to end up using the idea. Either the plot point is too out in left field now, or the characters are too far along in their journeys to make it work in-character.

25. What do you do to motivate yourself to write?

~Motivation? I don’t know her.

In all seriousness, I have ZERO self-control, so I can’t bribe myself. I mostly use my own desire to see my stories finished, plus nice comments and reviews from users on AO3 and ff.net. They’re so few and far between that a single one can make my entire day.

26. How did you find out you like to write?

~I’ve always enjoyed telling stories, from the third grade up! Making my own comics, and novelizing games I used to play, like Pac-Man World 2! I sort of never stopped, but WHAT I wrote matured as I grew older and joined fandom.

27. Are there any writers (fanfiction writers or not) that have inspired you to start writing?

~No, I was writing in general before I knew what fanfiction even was. But what inspired me to start writing fanfiction in particular was reading a Dissidia fic on ff.net by the name of Slash and Burn, that hasn’t updated since 2011. Reading that fic made me realize that the stories and scenarios I was coming up with surrounding these characters I loved could be transcribed and posted, and that other people were doing it too! I simply started writing down what I already was imagining for these characters outside of the events that happened in their games.

28. What’s your favorite fandom to write for?

~Final Fantasy, hands down!

29. Describe your style in three words.

1. Balanced

2. Introspective

3. Natural

30. What would you say is the most ‘famous’ fic you’ve ever written?

~Definitely The Krypt for Mortal Kombat on AO3. Writing for an active fandom is vastly, vastly different than writing for an older, stale one. The Krypt has the most comments and shares. On ff.net, it’s Horrible Bosses.

31. Blurbs or drabbles?

~Drabbles. Flesh it out more! I wanna be more immersed in whatever this is!

32. Have you ever written smut?

~I have written ONE SINGLE SHEEPISH scene in chapter 13 of Horrible Bosses. It was my very first attempt at smut and it is god-awful. Go check it out on AO3 if you want (and can withstand the second-hand embarrassment!)

33. How long does it usually take for you to write?

~LMAO that depends entirely on if I can get started for the day. If I can start and I can stay focused, I’ll easily write 3,000 words in one sitting. If I can start but I’m not focused I can usually still grind out anywhere between 100 - 500 or so words. But I’ll go days without touching Notebook if I can’t even get started.

34. What’s your favorite font to use when writing?

~I don’t put much stock in fonts but the one I’m using now on Notebook is Montserrat. I will change it every so often if I want something new though. Changes in scenery help my focus most times.

35. Which do you prefer to write: longer or shorter fics?

~Longer definitely. Shorter fics are easier but I love the challenges associated with aligning plot points with character development, as well as pacing.

36. how do you keep yourself inspired?

~My love for the fandoms I’m writing for usually does it. I love these universes and characters so much that I want to spend more time with them and watch them grow and change in ways that are or aren’t necessarily spelled out in canon. That, and the idea that since I’m writing stories I would want to read, then I’m the only one who can tell this story in my own way, so it has to be me.

37. Have you ever written something you didn’t like but posted anyway?

~Hell yeah. It be like that sometimes. Sometimes you stare and stare at a chapter and you absolutely hate it but you can’t figure out why and eventually you get pissed and say, “Fuck it, i have to post this to move on,” and you do. Specific examples for me are a few chapters in the new Petal.

38. What is your “strong suit” as a writer?

~I pride myself on my characterizations, to be honest. I feel like I have a good sense of who these characters are based on canon, and I can translate their reactions well to situations that test them.

39. What’s your favorite trope?

~I actually really, really love when characters are injured or slipping physically or emotionally, but they keep it to themselves for the sake of others. It can be for any reason - they don’t want to be a bother, they think they should be strong enough to handle it, etc.

40. How many likes do your fics usually get?

~Depends. The most I’ve gotten on anything was ~70 follows/favorites for Horrible Bosses on ff.net, and 128 kudos on The Krypt on AO3. Those are outliers, for the most part. My more popular fandom fics float around 20 - 40 kudos, my smaller fandom fics float around 5-10. The mean average for AO3 kudos across all my fics is 32, and the mean average for ff.net favorites is 14.

41. Have you ever used a prompt?

~No. it’s very, very hard for me to imagine characters into scenarios that I didn’t myself come up with?? I’m not sure why.

42. What is your weakness as a writer?

~Pacing.

43. Have you ever cried or felt any emotion while reading something you wrote?

~Yes, I cried when I wrote the aftermath of the large battle I talked about earlier, between Cosmos and her warriors in the first version of A Petal Among Thorns.

44. Have you ever done a collab with another writer?

~No, I’m too self-conscious.

45. One thing you love about fanfiction.

~I love how it allows fans to expand upon these worlds and universes that were created for us. I love how it allows us to demonstrate our love by interpreting things that were either not touched or not expanded upon in canon. It also allows me to express myself in a healthy and creative way.

46. What’s your favorite emotion to cause on your readers?

~Nothing makes a person sexier than physical pain. But I also love anger and regret.

47. What’s your favorite thing about writing?

~See above. Writing fanfiction is another way that I express my love for something that matters so much to me, which are these pieces of media I write for. It also gives my daydreams purpose and doesn’t make me feel like I have to bottle them up!

48. Do you post your writing in any other platforms?

~Yep! AO3, ff.net! I’m Keyblader41996 on both.

49. What app/apps do you use to write (word, notepad, etc.)?

~I’ve got notes all over! I’ve got some in Notepad on my Mac, and I have some in Notebook by Zoho on their site and app, I have some in my paper notebooks, I have some in my college textbook margins and notebooks, etc. My favorite to use is Zoho’s Notebook.

50. One thing you don’t like about fanfiction.

~Thinly veiled, arbitrary and unnecessary bullshit that is masqueraded as “constructive criticism” when I didn’t ask for it, and when it’s easier for the commenter to just, idk, LEAVE THE FUCKING FIC?!?!?!!??!?!?! Rather than spend ALL that time just to be shitty???????????? get away from me.

51. Least favorite trope?

~I dislike time travel.

52. Favorite words to use when writing?

~I love facial descriptions and body language: He crossed his arms. Her eyebrows furrowed. She winked coyly. His fists balled at his sides, trembling. She jumped, clapping her hands enthusiastically. etc.

53. Least favorite words?

~I hate describing clothes and bodies/figures. Hate it.

54. Do you usually like what you write?

~It depends. I cycle through different phases. (1) This is great. (2) Oh god, what the fuck??? is this??? (3) I can’t even look at this, it’s so bad. *Stops writing for days* (4) Wait, why did I hate this so much? It’s a great starting point! (5) Edit (6) YESSS YESSSSSS YASSSSS!!!!!!!! (7) Post

I can start at any one of those numbers and go from there but it’s always in that order no matter where I start.

Thanks so much for asking me these!! I love them!!!

#brynhildr13 #my post #baby-come-bach #writer asks #thanks man #writing

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