#so im gonna just change a Few things to chapter 4 and edit the first 3 chapters

[wizisbored]

🤔👖 (fanfic ask game!)

🤔 What is the hardest part of writing fic?

writing fics that are specifically meant to be funny as the primary goal is hard. like parent-creature conferences, or my old tgwdlm fic teachers pet. hard to know if things are as funny as i think i am

more generally to my writing, though, sometimes characterisations can be a little hard to keep straight. its not something id say i really struggle with, but its a thing. beetlejuice in particular, i feel the general fandom portrayal is a bit off from the source so i gotta run through scenes from the show in my head to kinda double-check him sometimes. especially when im twisting him to be a nicer (bugebroph) or meaner (snake oil). and in a similar vein to that, it can be interesting trying to balance characterisation in aus where ive changed a character's (usually lydia's) upbringing (bugebroph, netherborne, dragon au, etc). because obviously they're going to be different because of that, but you gotta keep them them. bug is more of a brat, netherborne lydia was taught not to trust and is deeply traumatised, dragon lydia is kinda naieve, but theyre all still lydia. hopefully.

also im not great at describing settings. does not help that i like cluttered rooms and the maximalist aesthetic, so if i design a place theres gonna be a lot of stuff to describe but also i have to avoid making it into a page of just stuff that is in a room. netherborne is currently being held up by such a dilema.

👖 Are you a planner, plantser, or pantser? Is it consistent?

eh its kinda somewhere in the middle? a couple times ive written the first chapter or so completely off the top of my head with maybe a couple notes and then properly outline the rest (netherborne was like that, ive started infernal children without outlining.) general mo tho is i start with one of these:

(thats netherborne, you can see it starts at 4 because i didnt plan up to 3. green boxes are unique to this one, theyre the flashback sections)

every idea i have goes in a box. sometimes its a major plot point, sometimes its just a little dialogue idea. if i know it comes before/after/around the same time as something else i join them up. and then i arrange them into chapters, alternating colours to distinguish them. sometimes i plan a few ahead, sometimes i finish a chapter and then open this to see what the hell i can put into the next one. so like, i know roughly where the plot is going and things that are going to happen, but not really when or in what order most of the time.

(here have another one. thats snakeoil. sure hope these are small enough to be illegible)

from there i write an outline in bullet points. these used to be far more loose but ive been writing more and more detailed ones lately. sometimes they approach being their own rough draft tbh. but i find it really makes writing easier to get down roughly what happens before i think about anything like scene transitions or exact wording or anything.

(thats some bugebroph)

sometimes i note down my ideas in this format too if ive got a really clear idea i dont want to forget and thats a bit long for a box

and then from there its first draft, edit, proof read, and done :)

[euphoricfilter]

I would never have guessed that you consider Smut as one of your weaker points, bc for me it was really good while I was reading it, means that once you are more confident about it, Babe you'll kill it.

YES blowjobs are better when you are reading them than seeing them, but for me it applies to majority of things in sex lol. The pegging HAHA sorry it's something I have seen its usual on pet play.

But after reading that I'm excited to see you experiment with those new themes you talk about. The request sounds interesting Lmao, take your time tho, wouldn't want you to stress because of it. Gonna be stalking your page until then.

Also the title is perfect haha <3

i’m gonna cry, thank you 😭

writing in itself is still relatively new for me so there are definitely areas i can improve on. i ‘started’ this blog at the end of january this year (i’d had it for a while i just never uploaded) with DTIK and i literally uploaded the first chapter like a week after i wrote it and that’s where it all started and my experience is like the last 10 months. i had written in the past when i was like 13-14 but it will never see the light of day, it was very much the unrealistic, mafia bangtan but i was convinced to write an empowered woman that didn’t need men, which they don’t, but my writing was so crusty i can’t read it now without giggling. i have 60 something drafts of wattpad 😭 of crusty old fics.

i think the first time i wrote smut was 4 months ago? maybe? it could be 5, i know i was still in china at the time because i remember i’d said i wanted to add smut to the last chapter of TBAH but then i was like yeah idk how to write this in part 9 and then an anon was like “i think it’s time they fucked” and i was like yeah you’re probably right. and i remember sitting there thinking what the hell am i supposed to say, this is kinda awkward and i was stupid and thought an ot7 fic would be a good place to start. writing smut for 8 people is so freaking hard so i had to split it up into subunits 😭 and then i started writing “smut” in DTIK but they haven’t actually had sex yet so it doesn’t really count and then helping hands came along + rope bunny and that basically all my experience so i’m happy i seem to be good at it 😭

my skin crawls when a bj post comes up on my twitter, i scroll past them so quick THE NOISE I ACTUALLY HATE IT 😭 it’s so much better when you read it 😭 i’ve read some out-there smut, and i think ‘wait that’s kinda hot’ and then i think logically in real life what that would be like and i want to cry because it would be foul

don’t be sorry about the pegging 😋, it’s actually not something i’ve thought about putting in a fic before but also it reminds me of that rumor that prince william is into pegging so i can’t take it seriously

IM SO CLOSE TO FINEIHINF THE REQUEST. i’ve edited to main part, and it’s like 50/50 it’ll come out tonight if i could just hurry up and write the sexy lil smut scene but also i have ptsd from wattpad smut so i always try to make sure it’s nothing like that and there’s a decent amount of detail to fuel the reader’s imagination 😋

i always think about, what if someone stalks my page because recently i went through a few of my old posts and it’s kinda crusty ngl, the other day someone liked a post i made months and months and months ago that literally only had the tag of the au so only people that followed me at the time could see it and i was like oh someone liked that but they would have had to have scrolled so far down, i don’t post a shit ton on here but they would have been so deep into my page i wanted to cry because i can’t remember half the stuff i post and there’s definitely some dark stuff crawling in the depths of this blog but that au was cute so i’m glad they liked it 😭

while we’re on the topic of my writing weaknesses, titles. i’m so shit at naming my fics it’s awful 😭 i changed “open” like 3 times before it became that name because i cant name my fics for shit it’s so bad 😭

[n7punk]

I literally rush to Ao3 to see what was the name of the college AU where drunk kissing happens so I could ask if that's the one. Low and behold you've already made the TOHT series page to stop us from guessing.

i thought it might be obvious what i was working on with the tagline after the series title, but i also knew it was super random to be returning to a fic from two years ago.

the anniversary of toht starting is on the 29th, so I'm probably going to post the first chapter of 'silenced words & daydreams' then. i think its going to be like 3-4 chapters (since im already on chapter 3 and haven't hit everything yet, but im also not that far in).

toht is probably my fic i've returned to the second most, after ditm (and, incidentally, those are the ones ive done edits of, though the toht edit was a lot more minor than the ditm one, not adding anything and preserving the phrasing & styling that i now wouldn't use because its confusing at times but... thats part of the fic, and that fic is seared in my brain, so i don't want to change it). i did a reread while i was sick last month and it got me thinking about all the Thots i had for the verse that i never wrote so... here we are.

i've been working on novels lately (wrote one, revised an old one, and started a third one in the last three months) but i've been working on catradora fic a little here and there. i had the OotW fics i posted recently, i have three au addition fic wips, and ive... ahem... 'gathered research' for another (not to mention i still have like 4 new au ideas and a whole list of OotW ones). don't know when any of these wips will be done/ready (one dates back to last summer.....), but catradora definitely never left my mind, i've just had other projects on the forefront.

oh god please no XD for the past few months, ive been turning anon on for like, the week i post a fic and then turning it off to not get random ones. i also just turn it off whenever i'm fatigued because it greatly reduces the number of messages i get (not that i mind messages, they just take energy and i dont always answer). though i am fatigued right now, i turned it on to give people options to guess because i wanted to see how long it would take :P

i will say, one thing that has changed is i haven't really had interest in writing smut in... a long time. so its not likely to show up much for the time being. that's been seen in a lot of my fics this year, though. ive had more interest in writing stuff that is rated T or M rather than outright E, so the hornies are just gonna have to wait more. sometimes its part of a plot so it still shows up, but i just haven't been interested. that's also why i haven't returned to the Do It For Me series despite having a whole list of ideas for it, because most of them would definitely be rated e.

[az-cain]

Right back at ya, Az 😈

What’s your process for writing fics? Do you write off of bullet points or distinctive scenes? How much research goes into it? How much time does each step of the process take you?

Do you dive into character analysis and speaking patterns beforehand in order to portray a character as accurately as possible or simply write them as you perceive them?

general process?

umm mostly i write one-shots, so i just sort of do what i’m thinking atm? like if i feel that it will be less than 6k words (one sitting of writing or less) then i will just write it all down usually in either the tumblr post immediately or on a google doc. if it’s a longer one or i’m feeling that it’s gonna be multiple chapters, i will write out the bullet points in a google doc and after i finish each point i erase it.

bullet points or scenes?

usually i will just scribble it all down quickly and go back and edit? like i have certain phrases that i really like when i write that usually come in my first draft- i remember one being “she stretched his name on her tongue like her favorite taffy” and one i’ve yet to use, “it will crumble to the ground and the rats will feast on mounds of cheese”- but otherwise my first draft is a little bit less descriptive. my usual first draft is very colorful- it’s my favorite kind of language. and i don’t mean swearing, though i like that too.

i have certain scenes i really want to write, but feel need background so i can’t. like i have their whole world and past w this character in my mind but really don’t want to write their whole story. or in the case of my abandoned fic on ao3, i did back before i changed drastically and as did my writing style. i’ll link that scene (i posted the blurb of it a while ago) here.

how much research goes into it?

oh my,, this one varies from fic to fic but like the one w matt murdock and the bullet wound??? it was like hours of research and a few suspicious asks on quora. most of what i write is based on personal experience so if i’m researching it’s through my notes app, ykwim? and to find specific color names i use That One Thing you can find on google images

how much time does each part take?

depends what i’m writing. if im planning it’s usually like 1:5:2 planning to writing to revising. if there’s no planning it’s about 5:4 writing to revising bc there are usually better ways to go about getting through the plot that i only see at the end, if that makes sense?

do you do character analysis and research speech patterns beforehand?

not really, but i feel that my memory of a character is fairly accurate to canon. if i’m not sure or it’s a character that isn’t fresh in my mind, i’ll go back to the source material and check if i feel i did their mannerisms and voice/speech justice. if i’m writing something i know or realize to be ooc i’ll put that as a warning or disclaimer with the trait that i feel to be ooc in my fic.

[thosch3i]

Hi hi! So the lost tombs and chronology all super confuse me. So tlt2 ended on a cliffhanger that was not resolved by tlt3 which is ultimate note, but now there is another tlt3 that I am guessing is made by the same studio as tlt2 (but not UN) that actually follows tlt2? And it has the same WPZ as tlt2 (but sadly different WX, ZQL though I’m sure these guys are great). You seem to know what you’re talking about so I’m hoping you can help!

UN also ended on a cliff hanger so I’m wondering if they’ll get a sequel from their studio that comes before tomb of the sea.

ahhh hello anon! yes ahaha the dmbj dramas are certainly very confusing--because they keep switching the screenwriters/entire production team between dramas. huanrui did tlt1 (2015), tlt2 (2019), and the sequel to tlt2 (2021). they're also technically the production company for un (2020), but linghe did like all the directing/casting/writing so its significantly different in tone and quality from the other dramas huanrui produced. npss (dmbj author) did sha hai (2018) and tltr (2020), with sha hai being in collab with linghe, so you can see lots of parallels with un and shared cast. (gonna add that i dont know much about the m9 because that’s not what im personally interested in, so i’m only going by stories with wu xie & the iron triangle.)

unfortunately, the dramas pretty have no continuity as a result of all the weird shit and multiple studios doing different dramas and messy stuff going on behind the scenes. the author's production company currently has all the rights back for filming future dramas, which is......imo, a good thing for book fans who love the author but a 😬 thing for book fans who like the original story more than what the author is now doing with it. I'll uh avoid saying too much opinion stuff though so no more on that 😅

that aside! yes 云顶天宫 “explore with the note” part 2......is the direct sequel to tlt2 and done by the same studio. unfortunately the writers are different and im not sure how much of the production team is the same either. idk how much you know about the novels so brief summary here--for the chinese version, the main story has 9 parts split among 8 books (though the official eng tls have each part being a different book) with some important content being as follows:

official eng title “cavern of blood zombies” (first time wx goes into a tomb, first t3j meeting)

official eng title “angry sea, hidden sands” (xisha seabed tomb, introduce a-ning)

official eng title “bronze tree of death” (bronze tree in qinling, wx & lao yang solo adventure)

official eng title “palace of doom” (heavenly palace on the clouds, introduce bronze gate)

official eng title “deadly desert winds” (golmud, introduce hei xiazi, desert, rainforest, tamutuo)

official eng title “graveyard of a queen” (the rest of that arc, wu sanxing & xie lianhuan reveal, jade meteorite, amnesiac xiaoge and escape, sanshu vanishes for good--also i think the official eng tl covers a couple chapters of the beginning of the next part too)

阴山古楼 (searching for xiaoge’s memories in banai, miluotuo cave, i think introduction of wu erbai)

邛笼石影 (auction/hotel iron triangle fight, introduce xiao hua & xiuxiu, wx & xh on the mountains alone while pz & xg go with granny huo)

finale (rescue from zhang family mansion, changbai mountain goodbye, 10 years promise)

after the main story are the main sequels:

zang hai hua (tibetan sea flower; unfinished & abandoned) covers wu xie a few years after xiaoge has entered the gate, searching to understand xiaoge’s past

sha hai (tomb of the sea; unfinished & abandoned) covers wu xie’s plan to wipe out the wang family, after zhh

chongqi (reunion: the sound of the providence) covers wu xie’s lung disease and how he recovers from that, set after they pick up xiaoge again from the bronze gate. thunder city and everything.

灯海寻尸&万山极夜 (still updating on wechat) don’t worry about this one since it’s still a WIP lol

btw between sha hai and chongqi there’s also ten years later (a short story) that covers how wu xie and pangzi pick up xiaoge from the bronze gate and take him home

the dramas Do Not Connect To Each Other At All, which the exception of tlt2 & tlt2 pt2 somewhat, but they go in this order:

盗墓笔记 / the lost tomb 1 (2015): covers part 1 but with major OCs and filler, and includes the auction scene from part 8 for some reason, so introduces xiao hua early.

怒海潜沙&秦岭神树 / the lost tomb 2 (2019) technically “explore with the note”: covers parts 2 & 3 but with major OCs and filler, introduces xiao hua & xiuxiu (and hei xiazi briefly) early. last couple episodes also cover the beginning of part 4. not a direct sequel to tlt1 despite being done by the same studio.

云顶天宫 / heavenly palace on the clouds (2021) technically also “explore with the note”: covers part 4 with major OCs and filler (and the same changes carrying over from tlt2). some episodes are identical to the last couple episodes of tlt2. works as a direct sequel only if you ignore the last couple episodes of tlt2 that take place in the snowy mountains. (those episodes of tlt2 were filmed after this drama was filmed, and im still not sure why they dragged the wu xie and xiaoge from tlt2 back to changbai mountain to film those episodes.)

终极笔记 / ultimate note (2020): covers parts 5-8 with minor OCs and minimal filler, also introduces xiao hua & xiuxiu early. the only adaptation that resembles its source material most of the time.

沙海 / tomb of the sea (2018): covers the second sequel with major OCs and filler. includes some bits from zhh and the short story “three days of silence”.

重启之极海听雷 / the lost tomb reboot (2020): covers third sequel with major OCs and filler.

in addition there is the prequel series mystic nine (2016) and side movies for the dramas that the author produced. there is also a single standalone movie--time raiders (2016) that is....well it’s. very strange. it’s fully subbed on youtube if you’re interested?

the best way to watch the dramas is to assume each one is its own self-contained AU set along different points of the dmbj timeline because even the dramas the author himself worked on don’t have continuity LOL (and with the exception of ultimate note & sha hai most of the time, also assume most characters are pretty OOC from the novels).

i uh regret to inform you though, that ultimate note will not be getting a sequel unless the author magically decides to not care about making money anymore and sells the rights to film the finale to linghe or something ^^;;;; it’s....unfortunate bc un is the most highly-rated dmbj adaptation on douban by A Lot, but it’s an adaptation that the author had literally nothing to do with whatsoever.

more information on some of the side movies/stage plays/manhua/donghua here.

summaries of the main novel stories (currently through zhh) here.

edited mtl (some of which has apparently been looked over by native cn speakers) of the novels following where official eng tls end here. (there are many scattered extras as well.)

you can get the official eng tl books/ebooks on amazon or elsewhere(?), but if you have problems purchasing them or like you just dont wanna support amazon or something, dm me off anon. (also i dont want to be mean but frankly the official tls are kinda bad too ^^;;;)

a rough timeline (spoilers galore) for the dmbj novels here. (fair warning im not 100% sure how accurate all of this is--they put three days of silence as 1991 but looking at the info in zhh, it seems like it should have been before the 1950s...but it’s more than fine as a general overview.)

anyway i hope that was helpful in some way? dmbj is a Very Confusing thing to get into ahahaha, one of my twitter mutuals has made a few carrds if you think they might be helpful: book, dramas (slightly out of date bc it says heavenly palace hasn’t aired yet), ultimate note (got its own carrd by virtue of being the only adaptation aside from sha hai sometimes that most og book fans acknowledge lol ^^;;;)

also anon if anything wasn’t clear or if you had more questions feel free to ask again sorry ahahaha im kinda tired rn @.@ 

[samanthadalton]

Star crossed lovers (au) part 4

pairings: poppy x mc (bea)

warnings: throughout this fic there will be mentions of substance abuse, homophobia, sexual abuse, violence, NSFW, mentions of abandonment, depression and death including suicide

in this chapter specifically there are mentions of guns too 

reader discretion is advised

taglist: @somewillwin @save-me-the-last-dance @baexpoppy @cloud9in @stanzoeywade @ognenniyvolk @thepotatobleh @crazzyplays @rxssians @helpconfusedpersonhere @dopeyouth 

(i just wanted to thank you guys for your patience with this fic because i know im not the most consistent with my posting so thank you for reading, also i’ll fix any errors later on) 

word count: 4.9k 

part 1: part 2:  part 3:  

Never bring a knife to a gun fight

Rumours of Poppy’s outburst at volleyball practice began to spread like wildfire, students all around Belvoire gossiped about the intentions behind the strawberry blonde’s confrontation. 

Some of the stories fabricated insinuated that Bea threatened Poppy to counter her friends’ behaviour, while others believed that Poppy was simply doing some charity work by helping Belvoire’s least fortunate. Not one of the rumours came close to the truth, that the girls were just simply in love. 

Saturday rolls over quickly and Poppy’s in her bedroom with Veronica sprawled out on her bed, hugging a pillow to her chest, while Poppy lays on the other side of her. Chloe however,  awkwardly sits on the edge of the bed, ostensibly feeling apprehensive about being in the same room as Poppy as she reels in from her last one on one confrontation with the strawberry blonde. 

The two girls laying down, engage in idle chit chat until they’re pulled out of their conversation when the dumb blonde lets out a small cough capturing their attention. 

“So.. are you sure you can’t ditch your dinner plans and come to the party?” She anxiously places some of her hair behind her ear, as she meets Poppy’s gaze but the blue-eyed girl holds the eye contact, determined to mitigate some of the awkwardness from the room since she’s barely spoken more than 10 words to the strawberry blonde since Thursday. 

Poppy and Veronica share a look, the unspoken words covertly communicating their plan to go to the party in the south, but the two girls remain silent, avoiding the question. Chloe stares at the two girls, oblivious to what the shared look actually means, and when her question remains unanswered she opens her mouth to ask again until Poppy clears her throat slightly and sighs, “I told you Chlo, it’s a work dinner, we don’t have a choice, our parents are forcing us to be there.”

“Yeah but you could I dont know, speak to your dad? I’m sure he would understand”

‘I’m a Min Sinclair, I can’t pick and choose what dinners I can and can’t go to, it doesn’t work like that,” Poppy adds a bit of sterness to her tone hoping the dumb blonde would get the point and leave it alone but Chloe’s infuriating relentlessness compels her to keep cracking down on the strawberry blonde, inclined to make her change her mind. She drags her body from the edge of the bed to the middle, and perches herself on her knees as she faces the two girls, “the party won’t be as fun without you guys there”. 

Poppy lips move to an imperceptible frown as her mind and heart begin to battle over whose party she should go to tonight. While she promised Bea she would go to the party tonight, Chloe was acting suspiciously clingy and things between the two girls were still fragile. Warily watching the strawberry blonde lost in speculation, Veronica intercepts before Poppy can come up with an answer, “have you met her dad Chloe? There’s no way Mr Min Sinclair will let us miss the dinner for a party, don’t be stupid” 

Veronica’s cutthroat tone is enough for the dumb blonde to stop pushing and she purses her lips in retort. Veronica almost feels bad so she adds, “but I agree, the party is gonna be dead without the two of us there” she smiles and slightly nudges Poppy with her shoulder hoping to alleviate some of the awkwardness. However to her dismay, the atmosphere slips back to being awkward and the girls reside in the uncomfortable silence that follows until Poppy’s phone begins to chirp with messages. She apprehensively picks up her phone but can’t help the smile on her face when she sees Bea’s name pop up on her screen.

B 💖

Hey beautiful, can’t wait to see you at the party tonight 

Zoey’s looking forward to seeing Veronica tonight but don’t tell her I told you that otherwise she’ll kill me 

Also can’t wait to see what you’re gonna wear tonight 👀🥵

After reading the series of texts from Bea, Poppy’s practically grinning like a Cheshire cat as she types out her response, her attention shifts solely focusing on the brunette and she mentally reprimands herself for doubting which party she should go to, since the choice is undoubtedly clear. 

Past memories of her going to parties with Bea surges through her mind and she revels in the memory of her first ever southside party. She recollects how nervous Bea was as the 15 year old girls made their way to the drinks table and Bea accidentally spilled her drink on Poppy’s top, after having a couple of beers beforehand, and Poppy teased what a lightweight she was. Bea’s face practically reddened with embarrassment as she offered her girlfriend to wear her hoodie to cover the drink stain, while she walked around the party in her tank top and caught a cold the next day. It was the small moments like that that made Poppy appreciative of Bea’s kindness and thoughtfulness and reminded the strawberry blonde exactly why she loves her. While reminiscing about the past, Poppy’s practically pulled from her thoughts when Chloe taps her leg, frowning. 

‘Who are you uh talking to Poppy?” 

Poppy visibly stiffens and turns off her phone, her mouth begins to feel dry as her brain goes into overdrive trying to come up with an authentic lie. “Just uhh going through my insta dms, the amount of creativity these creeps have is hilarious” 

Chloe gawks at Poppy, not entirely convinced but she nods in response, not wanting to press the matter further. Veronica quickly sits up, a soft gasp leaving her lips as she stares at the time on her phone, “Crap, I gotta go and edit my video so I can upload it tonight”, she gets up to grab her bag and Chloe uses the opportunity to leave with Veronica as she knows that her and Poppy are yet to still be on normal speaking terms. After a few goodbye hugs and a promise from Veronica that she’ll see the strawberry blonde tonight, Poppy walks them down to the front door and watches the girls leave. 

Just as she’s about to head about to her room, a voice booms out from the living room, Poppy freezes mid-step on the stairs and internally sighs, ‘crap’ she thinks to herself, her dad’s home. 

“Poppy, come over here for a second”, Poppy mentally braces herself and holds her head up high, keeps her posture straight and walks into the living room to see her father sitting on his favourite chair and a stack of documents on the table beside him. 

“Hi daddy”, she places a sweet kiss on his cheek and he makes a gesture for her to sit opposite him on the sofa. He places his hand on the frame of his glasses and takes it off and begins rubbing at the glass with the hem of his shirt before placing it back on his face. 

“I feel like I’ve barely seen you this week princess, how was your first week as a senior?” 

Poppy usually gets nervous when speaking with her father about any aspect of her life really, because he isn’t always the most affectionate or warming person. She purses her lips together in thought before answering, “It was good daddy, I’m in a lot of the AP classes so I’ve been making sure I stay on track for what’s expected for the classes”. 

Her father beams at her response and slaps his hand against his knee, “that’s my girl”, but his expression quickly sobers as he fixates his gaze on the blonde, “so, you didn’t run into any problems this week?” His tone is almost intimidating and suggestive as Poppy subtly sinks into the sofa a little, her thoughts beginning to run wild as she struggles to grasp at her father’s implication.

“Uh no, not really dad” 

“Huh, I heard that friend of yours, Chloe? She had a fight with that Hughes girl on the first day back. You wouldn’t be foolish enough to indulge in something so trivial would you now?” 

Poppy clings to the edge of the sofa with a deathly drip, knuckles turning white at the mention of Bea but she lifts her body slightly in an attempt to show her father she isn’t fazed by her name and clears her throat slightly, “no dad, Chloe thought it would be a funny joke but I ended up getting detention for just being in the courtyard.” She begins to shake her head a little, “I would never involve myself in something so ludacris” she exaggeratingly rolls her eyes and fidgets with her perfectly manicured nails, soliciting her lack of interest in the topic. 

Her father gleams at her with a hint of satisfaction, and curtly nods his head at her before swiftly changing the subject. “Rita, tells me you’re planning to go to a party tonight?” 

“Umm, yeah, just a celebration party at Ford’s house, his parents know about it and- ” 

Hayden Min Sinclair raises his hand in the air and the words die out of Poppy’s mouth as she awaits for her dad to speak, “just be safe, and make sure you’re home before 12, just call Carter if you find yourself in need of a ride home”. Of course, Mr Min Sinclair would never offer to pick up his daughter himself, he knows that his daughter should be less dependent on him and should be able to fare for herself. Poppy briskly nods and moves to stand, “Well daddy, I should let you get back to your work”, she gives him a polite smile and moves towards her room, letting out a huge exhale as she closes her bedroom door. She hates hiding things from her father, but he makes it impossible for her to confide in him at all, it’s times like these where she wishes her mother was still here. 

……

Bea spends her afternoon alone after dropping her sister off at her friend’s house for the weekend and worries about her mom being AWOL and has concerns when she doesn’t pick up her phone. It isn’t until the late afternoon her mom casually strolls through the front door, her makeup has practically vanished, with only a few remnants of it smudged across her face. She moves towards the kitchen to grab a glass of water until Bea’s stomps towards the kitchen with a scowl etched onto her face as she pulls Isabella away from the sink to face her. 

“Where the fuck have you been? I’ve been calling and texting non-stop” Bea raises her voice and points accusatively at her mother who in response blanky rolls her eyes at Bea and moves towards the cupboards scrounging for some food. Bea’s blood begins to boil as she balls her hands up into fists, her knuckles turning white, she pushes her mom against the counter and lifts her face up to look into her eyes, “You’re fucking high aren’t you?”. She takes in her mom’s features, seeing her incredibly red eyes and her chapped lips, and her slightly slanted demeanour. 

“Get the fuck off me” Isabella pushes Bea away from her, “last I remembered I’m the fucking parent here” 

“Then act like it!” Bea screams at the top of her lungs, her breaths heavy, her tone enraged as she stares down at her mother, “I have better things to do than to worry about where you are or whether you’re laying dead in a ditch somewhere” 

Isabella just places her hands on her head, trying to dull the noise sprouting from Bea’s mouth, “God, you’re hurting my head” she sniffles and simply grabs a packet of chips from the cupboard and a bottle of vodka from under the sink and retreats to her room without saying another word. 

Bea chest heaves heavily, she has no idea what to do about her mother, sometimes she wishes that she wasn’t there, then maybe she would have less to worry about. She could be a normal teenager with normal problems, instead of constantly babying her mother and being a second mom to her sister, but she remembers that she should be lucky to have a mom, no matter how shitty she might be. Her phone in her pocket buzzes and she grimaces a little when she sees the text from Poppy

P💋

hey babe 

V and I decided to go to Ford’s party just for a little bit 

Just to make a few quick introductions but we’ll be in and out of the party 

Can’t wait to see you 🥺

Bea feels a tiny pang in her heart but at least Poppy wasn’t going to completely ditch her for the night. She hoped that tonight would be just about them, that for once Poppy would let go off all expectations and just focus on herself. But Bea knew Poppy carried the world on her shoulders, that being a Min Sinclair meant that she had to sacrifice a lot, but sometimes Bea felt like she was the only thing being sacrificed, that she was the only thing that could easily be cut off. She types out a half-hearted reply to Poppy, something along the lines of ‘can’t wait to see you too’ and with that she grabs her jacket, turns around to catch a quick glance at her mother’s closed bedroom door and leaves for the party. 

……

Poppy and Veronica are walking towards Ford’s house, the faint thumping of bass music echoes throughout the neighbourhood while the girls are fixated on their hair and outfits as they walk towards the front yard. Both of the girls are wearing smart suits, to make their lie about going to a company dinner more compelling. They leave their real party outfits in the back of Veronica’s car which is parked a couple of blocks away from the house and before they enter the house Poppy grabs Veronica’s hand. 

“I told Bea that we will be in and out of the house, so let’s not waste any time. We just say a few hellos and then we go” she flips her hair throwing it back over her shoulder while Veronica rolls her eyes. 

“Hey you’re the one who decided to stop by Ford’s party, I would rather be in the southside partying it up there.” 

Poppy piercingly shushes Veronica, and in one swift move places her hand over the ombre-haired girl’s mouth, “Are you trying to expose us or something? Don’t mention the” she conspicuously u looks around and whispers, “don’t mention the southside here” 

Veronica pulls Poppy’s hand from her mouth and exaggeratingly shudders while shaking her hands, “Oh no, I forgot the southside is like Voldemort we don’t speak of it” sarcasm dripping off every word she says. 

Before Poppy can answer, a series of screams reverberates from inside the house and a few seconds later, Poppy and Veronica are engulfed in a huge bear hug from Chloe, “Oh my god, you guys made it”, she screams enthusiastically while jumping up and down in her spot clapping her hands together. 

Veronica sticks her fingers in her ears are glares at Chloe, “chill Chloe, you’re gonna burst my eardrums” 

Poppy laughs and playfully slaps Veronica on the arm and turns back to face the dumb blonde, “We’re just passing by, just because we have to go to a stuffy work dinner doesn’t mean we have to show up on time” 

Chloe grabs the two girls by the arms and pulls them into the foyer where they’re greeted by more of their peers. Ford is already half naked with a red solo cup in his hand and he waves the girls over before offering them a drink which the two girls politely decline. 

“Oh come on, one drink won’t kill you” 

“We said we’re good” Veronica’s tone is cutthroat causing Ford to back off and resume his strip pong game. 

“Ayyyyyy there are my two favourite girls” Carter slurs his words slightly and slinks an arm over each girl’s shoulders and migrates the girl’s to the back of the living room where the speakers are playing. “I thought Chloe said you guys aren’t coming? You change your mind Pops?” he flirtatiously raises an eyebrow at Poppy who playfully pushes him back in return. 

“No we still have to go to the dinner” she gestures at her suit, “we just wanted to say hi real quick” 

Chloe ambles towards the girl’s and grabs Veronica’s hand and pulls her to the dance floor without waiting for the ombre-haired girl to refuse, leaving Poppy and Carter alone. 

“So… do you really have to go? I mean you could have a lot more fun if you stayed” he takes a careful step towards the strawberry blonde, closing the distance between the two as he leans in to whisper in her ear, “we could play strip pong”, he leans back a little to stare into Poppy’s eyes. 

Poppy lets out a small awkward laugh, “um, as much fun as that sounds, Veronica and I really should get going. I don’t wanna piss off my dad” she takes a step back from the quarterback and wraps her arms around herself.  

Carter gives Poppy a long unwavering look, one she fully couldn’t dissect and understand, but he breaks the silence, “well, I hope you have fun, Chloe was worried you were ditching us for someone else” 

“Yeah, my dad’s business partners. Because work talk is absolutely riveting and exactly how I wanna spend my saturday nights” her voice brimming with sarcasm as she gives Carter a quick hug goodbye and grabs Veronica and pulls her out of the house after making a few more rounds with the rest of the students of Belvoire. 

…….

“This is a party, loosen up a little” Zoey rolls her eyes and hands Bea a red plastic cup, before taking a small sip from hers, “don’t tell me the princess of Greensburg decided to not show up” 

Bea lighthearted rolls her eyes and takes a huge swig of her cup, “she said she’s coming, okay? She’s just saying a quick hi to her friends” 

“Yeah sure, because she would rather hang out with the people at the bottom of the food chain than preppy rich kids who can probably afford a better sound system and drinks than this” 

“Oh hush, you’re just in a sour mood because Veronica isn’t here yet” Zoey pinches Bea on her arm, “ow ow, okay, it doesn’t make it any less true though. I mean you practically begged me to invite her” 

“Shut up. I don’t care if she’s here or not. But let's just say I’ve been doing a lot of wishful thinking and I’m wearing my best bra tonight” she gives Bea a sly wink who just laughs. “So,, I still can’t believe you let Poppy off that easily after the shit that happened on monday” 

Bea stiffens a little, her expression quickly sobering as she turns to face Zoey, “look, we spoke about it and we’re moving past it. I told her she isn’t exactly out of the dog house but I’m not gonna sit here and wallow about it. What’s done is done” she gives Zoey a fixed look, meaning that she was done talking about it and Zoey raises her hands in defence

“Maybe if you let me beat Chloe’s ass then I would let Poppy off” Bea playfully shoves Zoey with her shoulder, “only if I can join you”, the two girls laugh until Zoey catches Bea staring into the inside of her cup, her eyes barren. “Hey, I’m sorry for bringing it up. It just pisses me off that those entitled bitches think they can do shit like that” 

Bea solemnly shakes her head, “well, it’s Isabella’s fault to be honest. Everywhere I go, it’s like I’m haunted by her past and all the shit she’s done. Like they all expect me to become a deadbeat like her” 

Zoey empathetically rubs Bea’s back, as the brunette clenches her jaw slightly to stop her lips from quivering, and she blinks back the tears forming in her eyes before letting out a sad laugh, “God, you just told me to lighten up and I just made this entire atmosphere depressing” 

“Bitch, who cares? You’re my best friend, you know you can talk to me about anything, anytime” she gives Bea a one armed hug while balancing her drink and when the hug breaks off she drains the rest of her cup. “Do you want another drink?” Bea shakes her head and Zoey flounces off to grab another drink. Bea bops her head along to the music until a pair of hands cover her eyes from behind her, and a soft voice whispers in her ear, “guess who?” 

Bea grins and delicately removes the hands from her eyes and turns around to see Poppy in her skin tight pink dress and moves in to give a long lingering kiss. “You finally made it” she kisses the strawberry blonde again before realising Veronica is standing behind Poppy with her arms crossed waiting as her eyes move to scan the backyard. “Hey Veronica, if you’re looking for Zoey she went inside a few minutes ago to get a drink” Veronica nonchalantly raises an eyebrow and looks towards the house, “well, I’m suddenly feeling parched, I’ll see you girls later” she gives them a wink and struts towards the house. 

Poppy laughs while shaking her head but stops when she sees Bea appraising her, looking at her up and down with lust in her eyes. Poppy gives Bea her signature smirk and does a small twirl for the brunette, “so you like what you see?” 

Bea moves towards the girl, hugging her curves while staring into the blonde’s eyes with undisguised desire, “mmhmm, you look gorgeous”, she nods towards the group of people who are dancing along to the music, “dance with me?” 

Poppy grabs Bea’s hand and manoeuvres her to the middle of the makeshift dance floor and the girls laugh, drink and dance for a couple of songs until Bea whispers into Poppy’s ear, “let’s get out of here” 

She takes the blonde’s hand and moves towards the inside of the house and they stumble towards the bedrooms, and when they open the first door they simultaneously gasp when they see Veronica and Zoey making out on the bed, both girls half naked. 

“Oh my god Bea get out” Zoey throws a pillow towards the door and in response Bea throws her head back laughing, “sorry, sorry, but the bra is kinda cute Zo”. Zoey gives Bea the finger as they leave the room and eventually, they find an empty bedroom and are already locked in a passionate embrace before the door even closes. 

Bea roughly shoves Poppy against the door pressing her lips to Poppy’s, devouring her as her tongue slips into the blonde’s as her moans set the brunette alight. Bea caresses her tongue with Poppy’s and breaks the kiss to start kissing down her neck and then her jawline until she reaches the sensitive spot behind her ear and begins to suck at it. A moan escapes Poppy’s lips as her hands wrapped around the taller girl’s neck as her eyes roll back begging for more. 

Bea pulls back and the two girls begin shredding off their clothes before jumping into the strangers bed, their lips locked once again, reigniting the very same passion. Bea sits up and leads Poppy onto her lap, she grabs the blonde’s hips and presses her down onto her thigh before whispering into her ear, “ride” and without missing a beat, Poppy does. She unrelentlessly presses her sensitive spot down on Bea’s thigh and rocks her hips, as she buries her face into the crook of Bea’s neck, muffling her moans. Bea feels the heat emitting from the blonde’s legs and lets out a groan as her hands grip Poppy’s hips even more and she begins alternating between kissing and sucking at the blonde’s chest. 

“Please Bea” Poppy’s breaths come in hot and heavy as she begs for release, so Bea decides to give into the desire and flips the blonde over, pressing her deeper into the mattress while her fingers play with the waistband of her panties. She slips her hand inside and uses her thumb to encircle her clit, before slipping a finger inside her, and she begins pumping. Poppy’s back arches off the bed, groans echoing in the room as Bea slips another finger in, letting the blonde’s moans guide her as she brings the girl to the edge and lets her ride in the orgasm not stopping until she slumps back into the bed. 

…. 

A little while later the girls get dressed and make their way back to the party where they see Zoey and Veronica in the corner whispering sweet nothings to each other and giggling. “They should just date already don’t you think?” Poppy leans on Bea’s shoulder, humming peacefully as she looks at the two girls. 

“They should but they won’t. They’re both terrible with commitment”, Bea places a sweet kiss on Poppy’s forehead, “drink?” 

“Yes please” 

Bea squeezes Poppy’s hand and strolls into the house to grab the drinks. While waiting for Bea, Poppy stands in the front yard staring up at the sky until a unfamiliar hand, cups her ass and whispers into her ear, “what’s a girl like you doing alone here”, Poppy jerks away form the stranger, her nostrils flaring as she gives the guy a deathly stare. 

“Don’t fucking touch me” 

“Wow, I like my girls rowdy” he tries to touch a stray piece of the blonde’s hair that sticks out but she grabs his wrist and pushes him back, her eyes scanning the front yard hoping Bea will be back. 

“Hey! What the hell is going on here?” AJ sidles up to Poppy as he begins to stare down the young man who just demeaningly laughs in AJ’s face. 

“Get outta here kid, can’t you see I’m talking to someone” 

“Well she has a girlfriend so get lost”. The stranger stares at Poppy, an unsettling glint in his eyes before he steps forward and puts two of his fingers under Poppy’s chin lifting her face a little, “so you’re a lesbo? Well we can change that”. Before Poppy can step back AJ shoves the boy back who in retort takes out a knife holding it out against AJ. “fuck off now”. 

After catching up with a few friends, Bea hears about a commotion in the front yard and rushes out to see AJ barricading Poppy with his body while someone holds out a knife to his chest. Poppy’s eyes flash when she realises Bea is here and Bea moves behind the figure and takes out a small pocket knife from her jeans and lightly presses it against the stranger’s neck. Poppy lets out a small gasp, her body trembles slightly as she takes in the fact that Bea is holding a knife. 

“I don’t know who the fuck you are but you better back the fuck off right now unless you want to get your throat slit” her voice is quiet but her tone is challenging. The stranger raises his hands in the air and Bea warily puts the knife down, avoiding any eye contact with Poppy. In a swift move, the stranger throws Bea’s knife out of her hand, puts her in a headlock and presses the knife against her throat, creating a small cut as blood lightly begins to trickle down her neck. 

“No!” Poppy moves forward but AJ steps in front of her and in a flash he grabs an object from the waistband of trousers and holds it up to the stranger. Everyone in the front yard begins to panic and move out of the way as they all segregate themselves from the confrontation.

“AJ stop” Bea pleads with the young boy when she realises he has a gun in his hand as he points it to the stranger. 

“Move away from her now or I’ll shoot” his voice trembles slightly as his hand shakes but he grips the gun tighter as his gaze pierces into the stranger. 

“You won’t do it” he presses his knife into Bea’s throat a little more, who just winces at the pain while Poppy painfully watches the ordeal unfold, her heart hammering into her eardrums. 

AJ places his hand on the trigger, his stance unwavering, “try me”. The stranger grimaces at AJ before removing his knife and pushing Bea forward, “you better watch your back kid” and with that he runs from the party. Poppy moves towards Bea, her hand cups the part of Bea’s neck with the cut and she turns to look at AJ, whose eyes are blank like he’s just seen a ghost. 

“AJ, I-” Bea steps towards AJ who just looks at Bea with grief and embarrassment, “I’m sorry Bea” he puts the gun back in his waistband and runs off without looking back. 

“What the fuck, Bea are you okay?” Poppy begins to examine the wound but Bea’s thoughts are enveloped in everything that just happened, her body trembles slightly as she takes in the fact that AJ now has a gun. In the background of the commotion, the fireworks are set off, colouring the sky in an array of colours but the girls can barely focus on them since they knew they were in deep shit.

read part 5 here

[chimswae]

BTS Caretaker CH18

Summary: She may think she has Bangtan Sonyeondan wrapped around her fingers. She may think it is easy to love the members equally without hurting any soul. She may think the boys wont fall head over heels for her. She assumes it is okay to show a little love and affection towards the boys, what if she gets it all wrong? What if it only brings more complication to her already complicated life? Can she survive their charms? Will she be able to resist them? What if they just wont let her go?

- Pairing: BTS x Oc ( Yoongi x OC, Jungkook x OC)

- Genre: Fluff, Slight Angst, Romance, Idol!au

- Word Count: 4,121

- Author Note: I apologize if some of the thing in BTS caretaker sound cringy, i wrote this in 2017 lool so the old me is so hmmm , hahaha as much i wanted to edit it again, Im afraid i am gonna change the whole thing :< so i leave it be ahhaa thank u for reading <333

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Chapter 18

“To earth Ji Seul, why you look extremely lost these days?” Mrs Hwang nagged while her hand place the pancake swiftly filling the empty plate. Exhaling a tired sigh, Seul pinched the bridge of her nose easing the tense in her head. Her mother was not convinced with her answers, so she probed from Seul again “Did something happen at work? With the boys again? Or were you caught by their managers?” she bombarded her with questions.

Seul grimaced “It has nothing to do with the boys. Thankfully, I didn’t bump into any of them these days. They must be busy” her tone of voice was rather confusing at that time. Mrs Hwang on the other hand noticed the discomfort on her daughter’s face.

“If it has nothing to do with any of the boys, why Jin sent me a text in the middle of night just to ask your whereabouts?”

Seul look dumfounded as she flinched upon hearing Jin’s name “Why is he texting you and asking my whereabouts?” she mumbled with a little confusion evident across her face. As far as she concerned, the last text that they exchanged was two days ago. A simple new year message with a smiley emoji at the end of it, and she did give him a quick reply afterwards.

“According to Jin, he couldn’t reach you since yesterday”

“Why is he so clingy? What a mama boy, you are not even his mother. You are mine” Seul rolled her eyes in annoyance. Now, Jin went behind her back just to annoy her. Great.

“Technically, I raised those boys. They can claim me as their mother whenever they want. So, did you actually check your phone?” the older woman raised her eyebrows with so much interest. Most likely her interest was focusing on Seul’s love life. Considering how Jin would always come to her after his fail attempt to reach Seul, it appeared a little too fishy to her.

Her replied was a short no yet she quickly grabbed her phone to look for Jin’n text. Seul bit her lower lips reading through Jin’s message that sounded unimportant at first however her eyes rounded upon reading the last text left by him.

“OH MY GOD!”

“What? Why? What did Jin say?” glancing at Seul’s bewildered expression trigger her curiosity.

“OH GOD! I TOTALLY FORGOT!” she patted her forehead softly, humming to some low cusses. Unamused, Mrs Hwang gave her daughter a stern look still waiting for her answers, and the panic girl finally spoke up “They are filming their music video today, so Jin has already placed an order from our store a week ago. A food support for the staffs! I totally forgot about that. And I am in charge of it. Shoot, how can I forget that!”

“Tsk, Ji Seul when will you stop this clumsiness of yours”

She took a glance at her phone screen again “I only have three hours to prepare the thing” grunting under her breath, she tapped her fingers on the table nervously.

“And why are you still here? Go, before you upset your client!” her mother gave her a final look accompanied by a soft flick against her forehead making the girl squirmed. Pouting away the pain that consumed her, she leaned in giving her mother a quick peck on the cheek.

“I will get going now, don’t forget your treatment today. I have reminded Hoon about it, he is free this evening and will pick you up. Don’t go alone mother” she reminded her like an old grandmother causing the older woman to chuckle in her seat.

She nodded “Alright old woman, stop nagging me. Now, go!”

“Bye mother” with a final wink, clumsy Seul strutted to the main door with one hand tying her shoelace and other hand clutching onto phone near her ears. It would be one hell of a day if she failed to deliver it as requested. Her friendship with Seokjin was that close to the extent of exchanging the information of their personal life. The only thing he knew was Seul had another job which wasn’t only caretaking the boys, and that she worked in a tea shop.

Therefore, it led to this task that she’s willing to do for Jin.

 ----------------

“Alright that cup should go that way, you don’t want them to knock it off when they line up later” Seul scanned the truck diligently making sure they reposition the things that she pointed out few seconds ago. With a satisfied smile, Seul beamed “That will do! Thank you” the male shot her a grateful smile and proceed with other job.

Thanks to Wongeun, she was able to complete everything within two hours since the guy kept on track of special services requested by their client making it easier for Seul tending her job. She arrived at the filming location that was set one hour away from the city. An abandoned building, and it was intimidating at first but as soon as her eyes laid on the vehicles and staffs working on the other side put her at ease. At least she was heading to the right place.

One of the staffs in her early 30’s walked up to Seul with a friendly smile “Are you here for BTS food support from Armys?” she tilted her head scrutinizing the banner hanging loosely against the truck.

“Oh no, this is actually BTS food support for the staff. They have personally hired our shop to deliver it for everyone” her small eyes rounded as if trying to process the information that she just received and soon to be replaced with a wide grin.

“Really? We are not aware of it! Thank you, I will bring you to meet their manager then. We are filming the last scene at the 4th floor” she escorted Seul as she nodded willingly, tailing the friendly staff from back. Seul had to find warmer place, her white was turning a rosy in the cold.

Gnawing at the area, Seul was amazed to see the huge set prepared for the filming. The filming set was even colder indoor, though it was dusty, she could see staffs running from every corner tending their job patiently. Since this was her first time, she was a little excited to witness everything in live. Every nook and cranny of the area were filled with staffs and expensive equipment. That made this thing turned into a little dreamy for herself. Not that she ever imagined taking a step into such a large set, it was more amazing to be able to witness the boys danced to their new songs before her.

Hiding behind the staffs, she took a peak at the loud music boomed across the room. She heard shuffled of footsteps against the dirty floor, they were dancing hard. Amused Seul could not take off her eyes at the boys dancing to the music so perfectly and every step taken by them were super on point.

Who could stop these babytan. They were beyond amazing.

She noticed how their hair colour had changed following their upcoming back. Even though, she was watching them attentively, Seul made sure to be careful just in case one of the boys noticed her presence there. Facing the boys were the last thing that she ever wanted today.

Light taps on her shoulder brought her out of her dreamy state “Miss, the manager is still out for an errand, but he requested you to wait in the waiting room” Seul smiled and complied to her words. Taking a last glance at the boys, she didn’t realize her eyes met Jungkook’s causing the maknae to lose focus for a second.

“Cut! I think we need to retake one more time, Jungkook’s part is not in sync with others” the director exclaimed.

Jungkook bowed deeply “I apologize for my mistake Director-nim”

“Nah, it is alright. You guys have danced for an hour non-stop. Let’s take five!” Jungkook’s eyes were diligently looking for that one person that he hopped to see ever since the new year night. Ever since the thing he had with Seul three weeks ago, he had no time to visit the girl. Another thing was that, he totally forgot to ask for her number instead he just fled into thin air that night without a word.

What would she think of him?

“Jungkook-ah, your makeup next to be fixed” said one of the stylists making the younger guy to turn to her with a blank expression getting ready to be pampered again.

------------

Hoseok was monitoring their individual shots from the cameras while cackling excitedly. Stood beside him was sleepy Jin, whom ended up laughing along to Hoseok sudden outburst as they made fun of each other. When Jimin’s individual shot came in slow motion, the two older guys hollered “Look at Jiminie! He looks so squishy here” Hoseok retorted.

“I look super awkward here, look at my hand” pointed Jimin with a small pout.

“No, you are not! You look great, this look need to be protected at all cost” Jin smug proudly, resting one of his arms on Jimin’s shoulder. Namjoon’s butt in, chuckling away showing off his dimple “How did you stroke your hair like that? Does this hair need to be comb all the time” the leader teased Jimin only to receive a small whack from Jimin across his arm.

“I think Namjoon hyung looks the coolest when he raps” Jimin returned the compliment earnestly. To be truth, Namjoon is a cutie behind the camera but when he’s on camera his character change instantly as he’s living up to the name, Rap Monster. The boys would always spend their times monitoring each other during the break and ended up with compliments or mere tease just to liven up the mood.

Yoongi on the other side was getting his hair styled back to its original state earlier this morning, and immediately snapped his head to the boys’ direction upon he heard his name being summoned.

“Yoongi hyung running is as funny as me running” Namjoon gruffy giggled garnered the older guy’s attention.

“YAH KIM NAMJOON I HEARD THAT” Yoongi scowled with a meaningful glare.

Namjoon raised his hand in defeat “I did not say anything, Jimin did” like a flash he fled from the scene before getting nagged. Jimin gave the leader a disbelief looks as he returned his attention back to the screen, joining others laughing at their new victims, Jeon Jungkook.

The younger guy came with a confused face at first and quickly turned sour as soon as he realized his hyungs were teasing him. Jimin glanced at Jungkook’s side profile, smiling warmly like a proud brother he is, earning the latter’s attention. Noticing the stare, he received from Jimin, he swung his arm around Jimin’s neck, breaking into his cute bunny smile. They needed no word to describe how much they cared of each other, it was long gone ever since they became friends.

One single look meant everything. It was well understood by them.

Burying himself in his jacket deeper to seek warmth at the corner was Namjoon. He leaned against the cold wall, with his eye fixated on his phone screen. A message popped up from his screen got him to straighten his body almost immediately, as his forehead creased into deep frown.

His eyes scanned the area carefully making sure no one caught him acting weird before he left the area to more secluded place. Namjoon’s slender fingers glided across the screen and pressed his phone closed to his ears desperately to reach someone “Come on pick up” he grumbled in annoyance.

Attempt after attempt yet he failed to reach that one person he’s been dying to see since the news broke. His heart was broken into pieces upon receiving the news from Bang Pd a day ago however he would not let the thing to mess up his concentration on this filming.

Not to mention, he was scheduled to meet Bang Pd tomorrow so what’s the point of bringing it up now. He refused to believe the rumours that he heard at first, but it became more evident when he failed to reach the person to get the confirmation. Was it just him or the person was trying to avoid him? The truth was out to public now. The person had been keeping the secrets away from him when he deserved to know the truth.

It was hard for both of them. Yes.

It was complicated. Yes.

It did not give that person any right to go behind his back and left him in the dark.

It was torturous for him too.

Namjoon had been trying to keep his composure cool since yesterday despite the issues that he’s having right now. He did not want to disappoint his bandmates not when they had worked so hard for this comeback. Bangtan topped everything, he could not risk the group for his personal problem. When this filming end today, he would solve this thing right way.

Yes, that was the actual plan.

It came to no avail, when she came unannounced.

“SHIT! PICK UP” he grew frustrated. Namjoon really wanted to stop her from ruining this filming but that woman was so thick headed. For once and all, he had to end this. With that, he picked up all his might to make a quick run to the south wings. He sprinted using the last ounce of his energy in hope he would be the first one to reach there. Things could go from bad to worst in the blink of an eye.

Namjoon could not let that happen. Not here.

‘Please please don’t be inside’ he chanted inside his mind on repeat as he made a sharp turn at the corner, entering the room. His eyes landed on a figure with her back facing him, and without thinking straight he embraced the person into a tight hug.

He knew she was struggling in his embrace, but he did not care any of that. All he cared was to hug her one last time before he heard the sad truth. “Nuna…Is it true” he buried his face at the crook of her neck, fighting his own tears. Namjoon inhaled her sweet scent which he found oddly different that she usually does. Did she change her perfume?

Screw that. He demanded answer from her now. It was the truth he needed.

Her heavy breathing could be heard clearly as she was about to say something, however Namjoon was quick enough to hush her with another reply “No don’t answer yet. I don’t think I am ready to hear the answer from you, nuna” said Namjoon. His voice was completely broken as his tears already cascaded down wetting her shirt.

She gasped knowing Namjoon was crying and ran her fingers to his arm that wrapped securely around her, trying to loosen it up a little but come to no avail. He held onto her even closer “Nuna..Why is this happening to us? I thought, you wanted to wait until we figure this thing out” the latter mumbled.

“I am sorry nuna, it is my fault. I should have just make up my mind about you. If and only I am being honest to myself and Bang PD, this would not happen. You would not be….married to someone else… and you lost.. your job because of me” her mind paused momentarily, and her heart sank allowing the sadness engulfed it darkening her world.

“I tried… I really tried to fight for us. I did not try hard enough. Why are you marrying him when you told me that you love me? Am I a fool to you? Does my world is a little bit too much for you to handle? Why…you lied to me? You ignored me for a month. You did not even look at me. You are disgusted of me. Am I embarrassing you?” Namjoon’s word came out at once as if he’s rapping through it.

It stabbed her heart, the pain that he experienced, she could feel it.

Another silence.

Namjoon’s breath was shaky, he bit his lower lips holding back the resentment that he had for her. All the time that he spent to fight for this love burnt down to ashes in one night. He felt his world crumbled down in front of him, what else could he expect?

She’s married to someone else.

She gave him hope when she knew it was impossible to be together again.

She fooled him.

She toyed his feeling.

She was toxic.

Their relationship was toxic.

And, it came to this.

He must end it.

“I…am letting you go. Loving you was a mistake. Holding onto you was a mistake. Falling for you was my biggest mistake. I will mend my broken heart but..i will never forget what you did to us. You always put the blame on me. Now, I know who to blame” Namjoon murmured, raising his head slowly. He’s ready to face the truth now.

Bang PD was right, there’s no point on holding onto something that’s not his.

If she really loved him, she would wait for him.

“Fate is to be blame. The time that we spent was beautiful, so did the things that pain us” she heard him continue with so much regret and anger. His harsh breath gave her a goose bump. She needed a moment to decipher everything that she heard, why was it so complicated? It burdened her to witness something that she’s not supposed to.

‘Seul you are in a deep shit’ she mentally cursed hoping that Namjoon would allow her to say something and free her from this.

“Namjoon-ah….what are you do-ing?” there was another voice behind them, a familiar one to Namjoon. It came to his realization that the woman in front of her was not the same person that he expected it to be. Reality hit him so hard making him to spin clueless Seul facing him “W..hat” his face was losing colour when her face came into the picture, it was, Seul, their caretaker.

“What are you doing here…..” he breathed.

The woman made way inside with discomfort look evident across her face “We need to talk Namjoon-ah…” she eyed Seul from head to toe with a hint of jealousy. Namjoon still could not believe he just said something foolish in front of Seul and as a result showing the weak side of him. No one knew about his relationship except for his members. For some reason, Bang PD discovered it a day ago that rendered him speechless.

Out of nowhere, their caretaker was there and witnessed something that she’s not supposed to, how screwed up this could be. There was a long silence between the three, and Seul was still a little tipsy over Namjoon’s unintended confession awhile ago causing her mind went numb.

A pair of warm and small hand wrapped around her wrist startling her, bringing her soul back to her body. Seul’s dark brown orbs melted into Jimin’s soft one as their eyes met “Let’s go, you are at the wrong place” he murmured under his breath. Giving a quick glance at Namjoon, the older guy averted his gaze from meeting him. He was too embarrass to face Jimin as if he could read Jimin’s mind demanding an explanation and to fix the mess that he created.

Namjoon watched Jimin and Seul figure disappeared from his vicinity leaving him and his lover in the empty room.

“Let’s talk then”

He would find his ending soon.

 ------------

The two of them were standing side by side at the rooftop, staring blankly into the darkness. Seul knew the scene awhile ago was not intended for her to see, yet she couldn’t stop replaying it inside her mind. Namjoon’s sadness lingered and scarred her. Just how much it pains him, she wondered.

“Are you alright?” Jimin inquired could not comprehend the silence anymore. He gazed at Seul with concern hoping the girl was not too affected by it. Jimin ended up following Namjoon a while ago since he wanted to notify him about the filming only to see the guy dashed in panic passed him. Hence, to his surprise, Jimin saw Namjoon was holding onto a girl inside the room and he heard everything. Seul’s presence inside the room surprised him even more then he realized Namjoon messed it up.

He did not want to pressure the older guy anymore, therefore he came into decision to bring Seul out of the mess and let Namjoon settled his issues first. Sooner or later, Namjoon would open up to them about his problem. Jimin’s main concern was Seul seeing how pale she appeared, he knew it was not a good idea to stall.

It took her a moment to regain herself back before responded to Jimin accompanied with a heavy sigh “Yeah.. I did not expect to witness that. I feel guilty for…you know.. invading his privacy. It is his secret” Seul looked down on her feet with deep guilt.

“Don’t be.. Things happen for a reason. Namjoon hyung was not in a right mind either to differentiate you with her” Jimin smiled sadly.

“I am sorry for being a nuisance. I am complicating things for him. I really hope she doesn’t misunderstand. That will be bad”

“She deserved that. She hurt hyung. She deserved to be hurt” She decided to seal her mouth and not to ask further questions. Seul looked up, scrutinizing Jimin’s sharp feature. His eyes fluttered close, as soft sigh escaped from his pink plump lips making him even more dashing under the shining stars. She could not remember when was the last time to see Jimin this up close probably ever since the embarrassing bedroom scene last year.

Until then, Seul had no chance to meet any of them as they were busy preparing for their comeback.

“What are you doing here Seul-ssi?”

“It has been a long time, right? Well, I am here to work. The food truck outside is prepared for the staffs as a gratitude from you guys. Didn’t Jin inform all of you at all about that?”

“Ah..yes Jin hyung did mention about the food support thing. Didn’t know you’re working for the company?” his cheeks were tugged upwards into a cute smile.

Seul smiled softly “I work for them, so it is a special request made by Jin a week ago. I was about to leave discreetly until something unexpected came up, I guess we are fated to meet after all” she rubbed the back of her neck. Speaking of fate, these days Seul decided to just follow the flow of her life instead of putting too much pressure and plan on it. She grew tired running away from the truth therefore she’ll see how things went then came up with counter measure afterwards.

“Cool. You are a caretaker and a tea lady” he retorted with a light chuckle.

She found herself smiling at the image of his pink ears, as it matched his hair due to the coldness. Seul pulled out the heat pack casually from her jacket, since she brought extras with her. “Jimin-ssi, you may need this” she tiptoed a little matching his level and pressed the heat pack on both side of his neck.

“Keep warm, you don’t want to get sick” her eyes glimmered brightly melting Jimin’s heart. Jimin was lost in her kind gesture, as his hand skidded on top of hers “Thank you” he squished her hands.

Seul turned crimson red at the contact “Hmm..No problem” she pulled her hand quickly which upsets him a little. The feeling was soon washed over by Seul’s next move. She took off her warm gloves and took his hand in her sliding the glove over it without trouble. Seul repeated the same step with his other hand without breaking the smile on her face.  

“As I expected, it is the same size” she unconsciously caressing Jimin’s hand admiring it as if she’s the girlfriend. She bit down her tongue and hold back the coldness that started to lick her exposed skin. Releasing Jimin’s hand, she answered her phone nodding throughout the process. From the conversation, Jimin knew she’s ready to go but was he ready to see her go?

“Jimin-ssi, I have to go to meet your manager. Get inside and keep yourself warm alright? See you around” she never forgets to give a quick bow before leaving dazed Jimin behind. He smirked knowingly as he clasped his hand together loving the warmth from Seul’s knitted weave gloves.

 This work belongs to  Chimswae © 2020. All Rights Reserved.

[clumsyclifford]

Rules: It’s time to love yourself. Choose your 5 favourite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you’ve brought into the world. Tag as many writers/artist/etc. you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

okay well em (formerly jbhmalum) tagged me to do this and then i forgot and then i lost track so now i am DOING it !!!! here we go oh man i have 35 works on ao3 alone i don’t know how i’m supposed to choose

1. hello, hello aka child stars au - yeah so...i’ve practically never written anything chaptered before and certainly not with as many chapters as this and i’m really fucking proud of it. nuff said i think !!!

2. more than just a neon weekend - i think this is one of the most beautiful/visceral things ive ever written?? it has a lot of lines that i’m really proud of and also it landed surprisingly well which is always nice

3. let your waves crash down on me and take me away aka baby driver au - i’m similarly proud of the writing in this one even moreso because it’s one of the first things i wrote here and every time i read it i’m like........there’s no way i wrote this fic. just think conceptually it’s really cool and well-executed

4. a part of my heart that you’ll never change aka brazil fic - so........i just love this fic. one of the most self indulgent things ive ever written (probably THE most self indulgent at the time i posted it) and yet people other than me actually enjoyed it ????? also i think cam would kick my ass if i didn’t include it on this list so lucky for you cam i genuinely love brazil fic

5. let’s forget the past (i swear we’ll make this last) aka the iydk fic -  okay. i think this is a slightly controversial last choice but i have to say, this is one of my favorites. like......yeah. i don’t know. i just really really like it. young dumb lashton is good.

however i feel like given the fact that i have This Many Fics i am entitled to a few honorable mentions so those go to: emo lashton, spiderman!au, zouis friendship fic, AND lastly (partly because i just posted it and partly cos first jalex), slutty slutty APMAs fic

i really don’t remember who’s done this so im gonna tag some of my wonderful content creator friends @calumcest @5sos-fan-boy @blackbutterfliescal andddd @redrattlers love u guys

[ohh-baekhyun]

Just For One Night | 2-4

✨Foreword: Baekhyun has always been carefully platonic in his interactions with his best friend’s little sister. He resolved to keep her at arm’s length despite his attraction towards her. But one night, one kiss changes everything.

✨Genre: romance, fluff!

✨A/N:  Hiii, since a few anons told me that they can’t access my google doc so here you go :) I didn’t edit this like what I did to the first chapter so uh you know what im gonna say I keep repeating myself haha! BTW, the FINAL part is out too! 

Last night felt too good to be true; like a dream I wished I would never wake up from. But I did. I woke up the next morning feeling in dismay knowing that I had to face reality. Our time together was over and everything between us would return to where it used to be. Baekhyun would see me as nothing but his best friend’s sister.   Tears burned in my eyes because more than I’d realized, I’d been waiting for someone like him. Sadly, he wasn’t mine. I stared down at his strong arms winding around my waist, enjoying the feeling of having him close for one last time. Last night, he’d woken me up for another round of sex. When we’re done, he’d kissed me goodnight and hold me to sleep. He hadn’t let go ever since, not even once. The feeling was kind of beautiful, and I wished we could stay like this longer. I made a stealth move to twist my body around in his arms and tilted my chin up to look at him. His eyes were closed, his chest rose and fell with every breath that he took. I’d never seen anything quite so peaceful before. Watching him sleep, being in his arms, my heart squeezed with a longing so deep I can’t help the tears from falling. He was someone I wished I could wake up to every morning. I lifted my hand up to cradle his face and pressed a kiss to the corner of his lips. Baekhyun made a low humming sound in the back of his throat as his arms tightened around me. I froze against him, my heart rate picking up. But a few seconds later, his hold around me loosened. Relief moved through me and I let go of the breath I was holding. I debated if I should wake him up before leaving. Part of me wanted to stay, but a bigger part of me didn’t want to have to deal with the awkwardness. So I figured it would be better if I leave. We could pretend last night hadn’t happened, move on with our lives and keep our relationship as platonic as it was before. Maybe that was what Baekhyun wanted as well. After all, he’d only proposed one night. I peeled his arms away from my waist, shifting to the side of the bed then sat up and swung my legs off the mattress. I looked over my shoulder to check on him before rising to my feet. My muscle was aching all over. I glanced slipped on my clothes before quietly made my way out of his bedroom and his apartment. I checked my phone in the cab, and was hit by a reminder that today is Kyungsoo’s wedding.

Baekhyun will be there too.

Oh Crap.

When I stepped foot into the sitting area of my shared home, I found my best friend lazing on the couch with a cup of Greek yogurt in her hand, her attention fixed on the TV in front of her. She hadn’t noticed my arrival. “Babe,” I called. Since she didn’t answer, I moved closer so I was standing in front of her, blocking her view. She glanced up, her eyes rest on my face for a fleeting moment before drifting down and back up again. Her brows raised curiously at me, “Where were you last night?” “...” My best friend knew me so well she could tell from my silence that something was bothering me. “Come sit.” She scoot over and pat on the empty space next to her. I flopped back against the couch, turning slightly to look at her. She cast me a worried look, “Tell me what happened.”   “Baekhyun and I...we,” “Baekhyun and you what?” She probed. “We might’ve…slept together.” “Oh God.” She gasped, disbelief written all over her face. “How?” She gripped my arms, shaking me. “How did it happen?" “We were talking on the couch…and then somehow, we were all over each other. I tried to stop it but––“ “But what? What happened next?” She urged,  looking so engrossed. “––He told me it’s only for a night so I said yes, then we went at it.” I blushed. “Like animals” “I’m not surprised.” Her lips twitched as if suppressing a laughter. “Those hickeys say it all.” My cheek felt so hot it could cook. I had noticed those bite marks in the cab on my way home. I just didn’t care to cover it because there’s no need to. Soyeon and I were as comfortable around each other as two married couple should be. We were like sisters and I trusted her with my secrets, just as she trusted me with hers. “Do you think Baekhyun would be mad that I left without telling him?” I asked. “You did what?” Her lips parted in shock. Her reaction didn’t make me feel good at all. “I just...I wasn’t sure If I should wake him up.” “You should have!” she raised her voice, shocking me. “He's not just a guy you pick up at the bar to hook up with for God sake, what were you thinking?” My guilt tripled in an instant. I hadn't meant to treat Baekhyun like a one-night stand. He meant so much more than that. “I don’t want any awkwardness between us. What if he wakes up and regret sleeping with me?” She shook her head. “I doubt that. This is Baekhyun we are talking about. He cares about you too much to hurt you.” “How could you be so sure?” My best friend looked at me like I was stupid. “How could you be so blind? Anyone with a pair of eyes could easily tell that Baekhyun loves you. Have you seen the way he looks at you?” “He looks at me the same way since I was little.” Soyeon gave me a long stare, then she sighed as if giving up. “Whether you believe me or not, Baekhyun is going to be so disappointed when he wakes up and finds that you’re gone.” I slumped back against the couch, groaning in frustration. “What do I do?” “Call him,” she says. “Apologize.”

I decided to take a shower first before calling Baekhyun as I needed time to think of what to say. All I knew was, I should apologize. And then what? Do I tell him how I feel about him? What if he didn't feel the same way? Worst, What if I scared him away? OR What if Soyeon was right? That Baekhyun indeed harbored some feelings for me? I sat in the bathtub, hugging my knees to my chest while my mind drifted to last night. And the words Baekhyun had said to me ran through my head. Any man would be lucky to have you... That probably meant nothing....he must have said that to all the girls he had dated before... I think about you for every damn second of the day. Did he mean that in a romantic way or was it purely sexual? Maybe its the latter...or maybe not....God, I'm so confused For the next one hour, I sat there thinking about all those maybes and what ifs. I was getting drowsy. Without me knowing, my eyes fluttered close and I drifted off to sleep. I hadn't realized my head was sinking underwater. Sleep left my brain spontaneously, and my eyes shot up in shock when I felt a pair of hands gripping my arms, pulling me out into the air. "What the hell are you doing?" a male's voice boomed across the small space of the bathroom. I saw Baekhyun through my blurry vision as I rubbed away the water that got into my eyes. He was squatting next to the bathtub, looking all horrified and worried. He reached for a clean towel on the cabinet below the sink, "What were you trying to do??" he fumed, dabbing the towel over my face. I was too dumbstruck to even form a word. Not to mention I wasn't wearing anything......I was naked........naked......wait? naked! Awareness crashed into me and my hands moved up instinctively to cover my chest, "Why are you here?" I snapped. His face twisted into a frown, "Were you trying to kill yourself?" "Kill myself?" I mimic the frown on his face, but mine was of confusion, "What are you talking about?" "Answer me!" "You answer me! What are you doing here?" Baekhyun answered with a loud grunt and then he bent forward and dipped his arms into the water to spoon me out of the bathtub. "Baekhyun!" I squealed, folding my arm over my chest as if it would help to cover my nakedness. Why did I even bother? he had seen me naked anyway. He carried me all the way out into my walk-in closet and placed me down on the marble countertop, water dripping down from my drenched hair and skin. "Explain." he demanded as he leaned forward to rest his palms on the space next to my hips. My forehead creased, still not understanding what he was fussing all about, "What do you want me to explain?" "Why were you drowning yourself in the bathtub?" I shot him an incredulous stare. Did he really think I was trying to kill myself? "I did not, Baekhyun. I fell asleep." "You fell asleep?" he asked as if he couldn't believe what I said. "Yes, I fell asleep," I confirmed. "It happens sometimes when I'm tired."   "Oh........" he muttered, embarrassment was evident in his expression, "Okay......" "Guys, what's wrong, why is it so loud in-." At the sound of Soyeon's voice, I brought my head around. Our eyes met and she was standing frozen in the doorway of my walk-in closet, "Oh dear," she turned around, "I'm so sorry....I didn't mean to disturb.....you guys can...you know....continue do your thing....whatever it is........" she babbled. "It's not what you think it is," I corrected her immediately. "Have fun!" she shouted teasingly before fleeing the scene. "Great, now she's going to think that we-" I trailed off as I turned around and caught him grinning at me, making my heart rate sped up. His gaze made its way down my bare skin and in a nanosecond, the air around us was charged with tension. I cleared my throat and he brought his gaze back to my face with a low hum. "What brings you here?" I asked softly. “We need to talk.” "About what?" I asked, feigning ignorant. “You might want to wear your clothes first…I'm loving the view, but its pretty distracting, baby." He suggested with a grin. Heat pervaded my cheek. "Can you wait outside?" I asked, trying to buy myself some time to think. He nodded, and in a heartbeat, his lips were on mine for a quick kiss. "Don't take too long," he said against my lips. And then he walked away, leaving me hopelessly confused by the kiss.

When I stepped out into my bedroom, Baekhyun was on my bed. I caught a glimpse of my journal lying on a pillow next to him. He was staring at it, and as his hand started to move to reach for it, my legs acted on instinct. I strode forward, stopping before him and snatched it away. Baekhyun's head snapped up at my sudden presence. It was a relief he hadn't gotten a chance to open it. This diary held too many secrets I'd been keeping to myself all these years. It was an outlet for my feelings for him since I was little. "What is that?" he asked. “My journal.” I slipped the diary under my pillow and lowered myself on the bed. I turned to him and asked, “What do you want to talk about?" The air changes again. "You weren't there when I woke up this morning," he muttered with a tone laced with disappointment. "You were still sleeping. I didn't want to disturb.” which was true. I wasn't lying. "And you think it's okay to leave without a word?" he said with a slightly raised voice this time. "I'm sorry. I was..." I paused for a bit of a second and then I admitted, "I was confused." A muscle in his jaw tightened, "So you're confused, and that gives you the right to treat me like a hookup you use for a night and get rid of the next day? Do I mean so little to you?” I flinched at the tone of his voice. Growing up, Baekhyun had barely gotten upset at me. But If he did, means I had really done a huge mistake. And this time, I knew I did.   "I didn't mean to. I'm sorry." “Am I just a rebound?” He asks sharply.

“No. Of course not,” I deny.

For a moment I was uncertain how he was going to respond to that. But slowly, the tension in his face eased and I saw understanding in his eyes, "Next time you’re confused, we talk. You don't have to run away." Next time? Will there ever be a next time? There was a deep silence before my soft voice filled the room, "I guess I left because I was scared.” "What is there to be scared of?" "I was afraid that you'd wake up and realized that being with me last night was a mistake." tears pricking my eyes as I spoke. "I don't want you to regret anything because last night meant something to me." He held my gaze with his gentle one and his hand reached out to cradle the side of my face, "Last night meant something to me too." he confessed, "Being with you wasn't a mistake. It will never be." My heart throbbed at his confession, I almost felt like crying.

"I never regret any second of it.” he continued, "I'd do anything I can to make you mine again.” And with that, tears rolled down my cheek. Happy tears. Baekhyun scooted closer, tugged me into his arms and I rested my head on his chest. My heart throbbing harder in my chest.  "Are you still confused?" he asked as his hand brushed at the back of my head. "I'm not sure if last night changes anything." Baekhyun answered with a chuckle, "Of course it does, sweetheart." I leaned back and stared up at him with a question in my eyes, "What changes?" "This." he said before his lips crashed down into mine. A startled gasp slipped from my lips. My hands moved up to hold onto his arms as our lips moved against each other in a long ardent kiss. When he pulled back, he whispered, "Now I get to kiss you whenever I want to." A blush spread across my cheek, "So," I said, chewing on my bottom lip, "Does it mean we are a couple now?" The side of his lips curled up, "Do you want to be my girlfriend?" If he could read my mind, he'd hear me screaming a loud yes. But feeling playful, I shrugged instead. "I'll think about it." A warning flashed in his eyes. Two seconds later I was pushed back against the pillows with him hovering over me. "Think faster."

We spent the remaining of the afternoon in my bed. My back leaning against his front and his arms hugging me from behind. We were sometimes talking and sometimes just quietly enjoying each other’s company. Unlike the relationships I had before, being with Baekhyun felt real to me. He gave me butterflies, he made my heart flutters, he gave me tingles and many other beautiful feelings no man could ever give me. Most of all, he showed me love even before he said it to me. It might be a wishful thinking but I'd like to believe that perhaps Baekhyun felt the same for me too. “Should we tell your brother now?” Baekhyun asked. I looked up and cast him a troubled look, “Now?” “What's wrong?” “Hypothetically speaking,” I said. “If my brother disapproved of our relationship, what would you do?” I wondered anxiously while waiting for his answer. “Hypothetically speaking,” he imitated, “If your brother disapproved of our relationship, would you run away with me?” That was surprising. Knowing how much he treasured his friendship with my brother, I’d assumed he was gonna say let’s end this…“Where are you taking me to?” “Anywhere you want,” he answered. “Just you and me.” Loving the idea, I showed him my expectant smile, “Let's go to your grandmama’s home.” His brows rose up and he gave a quiet chuckle, “I’m starting to think you are obsessed with my grandmama’s home.” “I am,” I admitted simply. “Would you take me there, please?” “Anything for you, sweetheart.” he lowered his head so that his nose brushed along mine. Baekhyun’s grandmother lived in a vacation home at a beach called The Dolphin Island. I’d never gotten a chance to visit as I was on my internship when Baekhyun and the rest planned a trip there last summer. I'd heard from my brother of how beautiful the place is. He told me that the sky would turn pink during sunset and that dolphins would appear swimming across the ocean too. I could only imagine how surreal it felt to witness such a breathtaking view…. Feeling elated at the thoughts, my face beamed with blissfulness. “I can’t wait to be there!” “You make it sounds like we are really running away.” “Aren't you the one who suggested the idea?” “It was a hypothetical question, my dear.” My brows drew together, “So you weren’t serious about it?” Sensing my disappointment, Baekhyun let out a sigh, “I wasn’t kidding when I said we’ll run away if your brother doesn’t approve of our relationship. But first, I’d like to try my best to convince him to let me date you. ” he explained. “I will fight for us no matter what." The die-hard romantic in me was melting into mush. I turned myself around so that I was straddling him, and then I kissed him. Earnestly. “I will fight for us too." I whispered as I pulled back. His lips quirked in amusement, “Really? What are you gonna tell your brother then?" I pondered for a brief period of time before answering honestly, “I'll tell him that I had a huge crush on you since I was ten and that I'd rather die than not be with you." Two brows rose at me in question and surprise, "You've been crushing on me for so long and I didn't know about it?" “Because back then, I was only Chanyeol’s little sister in your eyes,” I muttered. Regret veiled his expression. "I'm sorry." I assured him with a smile as I shook my head lightly, “I don’t want you to feel sorry. I’m telling you this because I want you to know that.......it has always been you.”   That made him smile. While keeping his loving gaze on me, he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. My cheek felt warm and my heart palpitated. I knew if I didn’t break the silence, we’d end up kissing again and I had a feeling it might even lead to something else. As appealing as it sounded, I wasn't going to do it in my shared apartment especially not when the room wasn't soundproofed. If Soyeon heard us, I swore she'd never let me live a day without her teasing. "You know," I broke our gaze and leaned over to slid my hand under a pillow next to him. His eyes followed my hand as I pulled a diary hidden under it. "I've been writing about you ever since the day I met you," "You were only seven when I first met you." Stunned that he remembered, my face lit up, "And you were fourteen." I said as I handed the diary to him. "These are all about me?" he asked while taking the book in his hand. "You might want to skip the first few entries. I wrote them when I was five. It's mostly about Disney princesses and my Barbie dolls." Chuckling, he flipped to the very the first entry. "I want to read everything." July 20, 2000. Dear Diary, Today, everyone is not happy. Mommy and Daddy are very angry at Chanyeol because he bring baby mouse back home from school. Mommy say we cannot keep baby mouse at home because it is dirty. But baby mouse is very cute and my brother say baby mouse is hurt so he want to take care of it. Mommy and Daddy want to throw away baby mouse. Chanyeol is very sad because baby mouse is gone, and I am sad too because I don’t like to see my brother being sad. November 3, 2001. Dear Diary, Today is a good day because I made a new friend! He's my brother's best friend and his name is Baekhyun. He is very kind just like my brother and he makes me laugh a lot. I hope to see him again soon. August 14, 2002. Dear Diary, Today, Baekhyun teaches me how to ride the bicycle. I am still not good at it yet. I kept falling and cried because it's so hard. But Baekhyun told me it’s okay because he used to fall many times too. He said I shouldn't give up and If I keep trying, I will be able to ride the bicycle soon. May 1, 2003. Dear Diary, Today, As I got home from school, Baekhyun and Chanyeol were hanging out in my room. They were talking about a boy in their class. I don’t think they like him very much but I'm not sure. They repeated the word asshole a few times. I didn’t know the meaning of those words and they wouldn't tell me because they said I am too young to understand. I was so curious that I went to Mommy's room to ask her. Mommy got so angry at me. She told me that is a bad word and warned me to never say it again. Then, she went to my room to reprimand Baekhyun and Chanyeol. I felt guilty because it was my fault they got into trouble. When Mommy left the room, I thought they were going to be upset but they laughed at me instead. I am really confused. And I still don't know what asshole means. For the next half an hour, I sat next to Baekhyun as he read each page and laughed at the most of them. It was until he turned to the entry I wrote when I was seventeen that he stopped and turned to me with a frown. June 24, 2012 Dear Diary, I think I might have my first sexual awakening today. I nibbled my bottom lips with a bashful smile. It was a relief I didn't include the details of my "sexual awakening" in my diary. It would be more embarrassing if I did. "Did I.....?" he guessed

"Yes, you did, my friend." His brows puckered, "I don't know how to feel about it. It sounds a bit.....pedophile like." I giggled at his discomfort, "Come on. It's not like you were attracted to my boobless and buttless teenager body. Plus, you were still dating Jaesi at the time." I was referring to his ex-girlfriend whom he dated for seven years. The two had an on and off relationship before they finally decided to end it a month ago. "Good point. But, what did I do to spark your....uh....sexual awakening?" he queried. "Promise me you won't make fun of me if I tell you?" "I promise." ".....You didn't do anything actually," I said. "I'm not sure if you remember, but I did walk in on you shirtless." His lips curled into a slow and smug grin, "I've always thought you were innocent." "I was seventeen.....you know.....hormone and all." "Didn't know you're such a pervert." he mocked. Embarrassed, I snatched the diary away from his grasp, "Shouldn't have let you read it." "Hey, I was just joking." he coaxed as he nudged my arm with his elbow. "Let me read the rest of it, please." his face was now nuzzling in the crook of my neck, making me titter at the ticklish sensation. "Fine fine...But....Only if you tell me when did you start seeing me differently." I bargained. I've always been curious and now was the best chance to ask him about it. "What do you mean differently?" "When did you start seeing me as a woman?" I clarified my question. He threw me an are-you-serious look, like it was such a wrong thing to ask. "I'm not telling you that. It's a guy thing that will probably creep you out." "I won't. I promise.” I pleaded in a sweet way that managed to waver his resolve. He let out a defeated sigh, "Okay.." "This is fun!” I chirped. He shook his head at my excitement before he started speaking, "You were nineteen. It was during one of the weekend gatherings at Kyungsoo's villa." "Oh my god, I remember!" I interjected, "No wonder you were being such an overbearing ass that night." He clucked his tongue in annoyance, "Do you want to listen or what?" "Sorry." I gave him an apologetic smile, "Go on." "You brought a date with you. I couldn't remember the asshole's name. I think it was something Sook.." "Seok-jin." I supplied while trying my best to suppress my grin. He was clearly jealous.   "Whatever," he rolled his eyes, "You know I wasn't in the best mood that night. I needed some fresh air so I went outside to the park nearby. And then, I found you and the asshole kissing under the tree and-" As the memory of that night returned vividly to my mind, my eyes widened, "Oh my god! So it was you who threw rocks at us while we were kissing." I deduced with a loud voice as if I just solved one of Sherlock Holmes mystery. Baekhyun treated me with another stern look for interrupting his speech. "Last warning." "Sorry." "I was suddenly feeling so jealous and turned on at the same time," he confessed somewhat gruffly as his eyes lingered on my mouth. "My mind started to imagine how your lips would feel against mine, how you'd taste like when I......." his voice trailed away as our eyes locked in another heated stare. My breathing became heavy as the air around us thickened. His lips were moving closer to mine and half a second before we closed the distance between us, Baekhyun's phone rang, interrupting our moment. He made a low scowling sound under his breath. I sighed inwardly as he pulled back and shoved his hand into his jeans pocket, I peered over to look at the caller id and my forehead creased as I saw Aera's name written on the screen. Aera was Kyungsoo's twenty-year-old cousin who had a crush on Baekhyun. "Why is she calling you?" As if he something struck him in the head, he cursed again. I became more curious, "What is it?" "I've promised Kyungsoo that I'll be Aera's date for his wedding tonight."

I was smiling on the outside, pretending that I wasn't at the very least affected by the news that my boyfriend was going on a date with another girl. But on the inside, I was livid with jealousy. I knew there was nothing to worry about since Baekhyun had zero feelings for Aera. He was just doing a favor to his best friend. Still, it was a little difficult to accept the notion that I had to share my boyfriend with someone else. Especially since we had just made our relationship official less than an hour ago. Baekhyun had repeatedly asked me if I’d liked him to bail out. But, how could I possibly say Yes when I knew the girl had been looking forward to this day. Plus, Aera was a nice girl and I actually liked her. I’d be an evil witch if I ever ruined her dream date with Baekhyun. “Are you sure you are okay?” "Yes I'm okay," I told him for the umpteenth time, "I know you are just doing a favour to Kyungsoo. I completely understand." "You really sure?" he tried again. Forcing a wider smile, I spoke through my gritted teeth, "Yes Baekhyun, I am 100% sure.“ "See that fake smile?" he pointed at my lips, "You are so jealous." “I told you I'm not." I denied. "Yes you are." he insisted. My smile faltered and my forehead creased, "Why can't you just drop it?" I groaned. "Fine," he rolled his eyes, "It's actually good that you are not jealous because you know....a date involves holding hands and-" "No." I shot him a death glare, “No holding hands.” He gave me a smug smile, "Are you finally admitting that you are jealous?" Too tired to argue, I reluctantly admitted, "I am jealous..." my voice sounded almost muted. "I know that." "No holding hands!" I reminded. “I won't. But what if she holds mine first?” he said with a smirk I wasn't sure what for. "Do I push her away?" Part of me was tempted to say yes but I knew how much it hurts to be pushed away by a guy you like. “Don't push her away.” I said as I scooted closer to him, “You can link arms with her like this,” I slid my hand around his arms as a demonstration, “or this,” I reached down to hold his hand with a loose flimsy grip, “Just, not like this.” I clasped his hand tightly with interlaced fingers, “This is how you hold my hand.” A low chuckle left his lips, “Are you always this possessive, sweetheart?” “Would you let another guy hold my hand like this?” I quipped. Baekhyun’s grip tightened around my fingers in reflex, “No other man touches you but me.” he said hoarsely. "Understand?" "Are you always this bossy, Mr. Byun?" "Do you understand?" he repeated, warning in his tone. "Okay okay...." Men are such a caveman sometimes. "But you are not allowed to touch another girl as well. No hug, No kiss, just holding hands. Deal?" "There's no woman I'd rather touch than you." Liking his answer, a pleased grin formed on my lips. “We're good then." I said, "Oh...And....please don't flirt or tease her like you always do to me." I added, "You know your mouth can be quite uh....powerful." Baekhyun was flirty by nature and we all knew just how good he was with words. Those who didn't know him well might mistake that he was genuinely interested. False hope sucks big time.   “My mouth? Powerful?" he asked. "Like how?" I shrugged, too embarrassed to explain, “I don't know.” “You mean like the time I made you come so hard with my mouth?” he muttered casually. God, how could someone be so blunt? "You really need a filter for your dirty words.” I said, shaking my head. An evil smirk spread across his lips. He leaned down so that his mouth was sitting next to my ear. “From what I recall," his voice lowered to a whisper, "your wet pussy enjoyed my dirty words just fine.” “Oh my god! You filthy bastard!” I pushed him away, feeling a flush of heat spreading across my cheek. At my flustered reaction, he burst into deep laughter, “You are such a prude.” he joked. I stared at him with an unamused expression. And as his laughter fell away, he stared back at me silently. "What?" Slowly, a feral grin formed across his face, hinting me that I was about to be attacked by his filthy words again. Oh no….no more.... "I....I have to get ready for the wedding." I muttered before crawling to the front edge of the bed to get away from him. But I could only go so far when Baekhyun hooked his fingers around my ankles from behind. I looked over my shoulder with a frown, "What are you doing?" Without a word, he pulled my legs back, causing a surprised squeal to escape through my mouth. My bent knees were being straightened at the tug of his hands that I dropped on all four. Next, his body fell on my back, pressing me down against the soft mattress with his weight. “Get off me! You are so heavy.” I let out a feebled cry as I struggled to move under him. And all he did was laugh, gloating over my helpless state. I moved my free hands behind and attacked his waist with soft tickles. It's his weak spot, I knew. When his body wriggled above mine, I took the opportunity to shift under him, but, he was so quick to pull me back into a tight hug. “Got you!” his arms and legs circled around me as he pressed my back against his chest. Having no strength to move any longer, I relaxed into his hold, "I can't believe you are twenty-nine." I panted. Baekhyun dropped his head on my shoulder, "I can't believe you're mine." It took me seconds to register his words and then the rhyme behind it. And as I did, I fell into uncontrollable laughters. As he laughed along with me, he planted soft kisses along the bare skin of my shoulder up to the side of my neck. The rumbling sound of his voice did happy things to my heart. His lips made its way up to my ear and when his teeth pulled at my earlobe, I hissed at the sudden sharp pain. “Does it hurt?” he asked, sounding a little sorry. “A little." I murmured, "But I like it." Baekhyun chuckled, the rumbling sound of his voice did happy things to my heart. "You're funny." he nibbled my ear again, gentler this time. Time melted away quickly when we were together. When I glanced up at the clock, I realized we'd been laying here for nearly four hours. "Baekhyun," I called out softly and he hummed in response. "You need to leave now else you'll be late for the wedding. We're supposed to arrive earlier remember?" “I know,” he breathed gently into my ear, “Let’s stay like this just a little longer."

Baekhyun had finally left my apartment to get himself ready for the wedding and well….his date. And I was left alone in my room as I changed into the dress Jisoo had specially designed for the bridesmaids. The dress was strapless with a sweetheart neckline, and the upper half of the bodice was embellished with a few sparks of glitter, not too shiny, but just enough to make it glow. There’s a thin sash fitting around the waist, and then, the tulle fabric fell like a waterfall from the waist down to the floor. Oh and the color. Sky blue. Just like the color of Cinderella’s dress. I stood before the dressing table and stared down at the display box where I stored my pieces of jewelry. I was looking for a necklace to match my dress but my eyes caught a glimpse of something and I picked it out. It was the Dior pearl earrings Baekhyun had gifted to me for my birthday. Smiling, I looked up at the mirror and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. While I was struggling trying to fit the sharp end of the stud into my pierced earlobe, someone knocked on my door. “Yeah?“ I responded. “It’s me. May I come in?” a male's voice met with my ears. “Sure. Come in.” Through the reflection in the mirror, I watched as the door eased open slowly. Soon, my brother entered the room and I turned around. He was wearing a single-breasted jacket in black and a grey silk tie knotted around the collar of his white dress shirt. His face beamed up as he saw me in my blue dress, “Look at you,” he admired, “You look stunning.” Have I mentioned that I loved my brother? “Thank you.” I gave him a self-deprecated smile. "You don't look so bad yourself." He walked over to my side and gave me a hug. As he pulled back, he looked down at the earring in my hand. "Need help with that?" I nodded, passing him the tiny piece of jewelry that looked a lot tinier in his big hand. I couldn’t help but grin at the delicate way he handled the earrings. When he was done with one ear, he proceeded with the other. He did it so effortlessly that it amazed me. “How could you be so good at this?” I wondered.   “I practiced a lot,” he grinned, “on the girl next door.” He was talking about Soyeon, and I wondered where she was. “Have you seen her?” I asked. He shook his head. “She’s still in her room. She wouldn’t let me come in.” “I think she’s probably freaking out right now,” I said as I giggled, “She seems to have a phobia of dresses.” “How the hell do you wear this stupid dress?” See.... My brother and I turned around to find the owner of the voice. And there she was, standing near the doorway, holding the blue sash she couldn’t figure out how to tie. My eyes sparkled at the sight of her in her bridesmaid’s dress. It was almost as similar to mine, but hers was designed with a Sabrina neckline, making her collarbone looks more prominent. I’ve always thought Soyeon looked naturally beautiful without makeup. Even wearing just her usual t-shirt and jeans—the casual girl-next-door style she preferred—she looked gorgeous. But this….this is just perfect. She’s perfect. And as I moved my gaze to Chanyeol who was standing next to me, I was struck speechless by the way he looked at Soyeon. His eyes were gleaming with so much affection as though she was the most precious thing in the world. I swore no man could possibly be more in love than my brother. “You must be the luckiest guy on earth,” I said in a soft whisper. “Don’t ever lose her.” “I know…” he smiled. And while keeping his loving gaze locked on his confused girlfriend, he whispered back to me, “I’m going to marry her someday.” My my…he had got to be the most romantic man in the universe. “You better do.” I murmured, “Because I’m not letting you marry anyone else besides her.” And I meant what I said. Growing up as siblings, Chanyeol and I had always been protective of each other. I’ve seen a few women come and go in his life. Some betrayed him and some just wanted him for what he had. At the end, he was left broken-hearted. As a sister, all I ever wanted was the best for my brother. And I knew he wanted the same for me too. I loved him so much that it broke me to see him hurt. Someone like him deserved much better than a woman who could never see him beyond his good-looks and his wealth. There's more to him than that. This man had the biggest heart that was made to love and he deserved to be loved as much too. With Soyeon, I knew I wouldn't have to worry. She loved my brother truly. She made him happy. In fact, I’ve never seen my brother happier than he is now. They had to stay together. Forever. “What are you guys whispering about?” Soyeon voice brought our attention back to her, “Can someone help me with my dress?”

I arrived at the venue two hours before the ceremony started. Soyeon and Chanyeol had to use the washroom and I was asked to go ahead without them. The moment I entered the hall, my eyes wandered over the vast space that could possibly hold a capacity of five hundred seated guests. Standing at the entrance, I spotted the other bridesmaids and groomsmen crowding around the front seats. They were in the middle of a conversation, incognizant of my arrival. I walked right down the aisle, underneath me was a red velvet’s carpet that led from the entrance towards the altar. Suho, the eldest one of the group and also the best man, was the first to notice me as I approached. At the sound of his voice calling my name, the other shifted their attention to me and I greeted each one of them with a friendly hug. These people were my closest friends, meaning, each one of them knew about my recent break-up with my ex and they were very very concerned. It was honestly a little tiring for me to convince them that I was alright. But, still, I was grateful to be surrounded by kind people like them who cared about me. A couple of minutes later, Chanyeol and Soyeon arrived at the hall and we were left with Baekhyun and Aera. While waiting for them, the guys started discussing a work-related topic, while the girls raved about the lovely wedding decorations. I, on the other hand, was more interested in the music ensemble that was currently having a soundcheck. The string quartet was playing the instrumental version of Elton John’s Can You Feel The Love Tonight. I made my way up the altar and took a seat on the vacant grand piano bench. While I sat and listened attentively to the music, I noticed something was missing. The melody. The strings were only playing the accompaniment without the melody. I wondered if Kyungsoo had hired a pianist or if the grand piano was here just for display. While I was immersed in my own thoughts, I felt a gentle brush of a hand across my cheek and a familiar low voice saying ‘You look beautiful’ to me. My heart skipped a beat and I looked up. Standing there was my boyfriend, Baekhyun, in his black suit. He was staring down at me with those warm eyes that had never failed to mesmerize me. Butterflies fluttered in my stomach. Will I ever stop feeling this way? That feeling of giddiness and excitement whenever he was around. God...I hoped not. “Thank you.” I smiled up at him. “You look fine too.” More than fine actually, you look perfect…. "Scoot over," he instructed, and I shifted to the side to make some room for him to sit. We were sitting side by side on the bench with our arms and our thighs touching against each other. Such simple contact caused my heart raced. All of a sudden, his fingers gripped my chin, turning my head so I was facing him. He made quick glances from left to right, looking almost suspicious. I was wondering what he was going to do until he leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine for a quick kiss. Gasping, I leaned back, “What if someone sees us?” I said in a loud whisper while shifting my gaze to the group of people down the stage. I felt a surge of relief when I saw that they were still occupied with a conversation among themselves. And I’d also noted the absence of his date, “Where is Aera?” I asked, looking back at him. “She's in the toilet,” he answered. “Why are you sitting here all alone?" My bottom lips jutted forward in a pout, "Because I'm sad that my boyfriend left me alone for another girl." "Sweetheart," his face hardened, suddenly turning serious, "You just have to say the word and I'll ditch my date for you." Shaking my head, I reached up to brush my knuckles across his cheek, "I was just kidding, my love." In a matter of seconds, the tension on his face dissipated, "Say that again?" he said, as though he couldn't believe what he just heard. "Say what? I was just kidding?" "No. The last two words." "My love?" His face lightened up and he hummed in satisfaction, "I like it." I chuckled, "I can see that." "Say it again." "My love." He looked so happy that it amazed me. Did he realize how endearing he is? I'd say the word over and over again just so I could see that smile on his face. "You fascinate me, Baekhyun." I told him sincerely as I ran my thumb across his cheek in a soft caress. He lifted his hand and placed it over mine, "You do the same to me too." 

Final Part is here. 

[comicteaparty]

February 17th-February 23rd, 2020 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party week long chat that occurred from February 17th, 2020 to February 23rd, 2020.  The chat focused on Crossed Wires by Iris Jay.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

Comic Tea Party

BOOK CLUB START!

Hello and welcome everyone to Comic Tea Party’s Week Long Book Club~! This week we’ll be focusing on Crossed Wires by Iris Jay~! (http://crossedwires.irisjay.net/)

You are free to read and comment about the comic all week at your own pace until February 23rd, so stop on by whenever it suits your schedule! Discussions are freeform, but we do offer discussion prompts in the pins for those who’d like to have them. Additionally, remember that while constructive criticism is allowed, our focus is to have fun and appreciate the comic!

Whether you finish the comic or can only read a few pages, everyone is welcome to join and chat with us!

DISCUSSION PROMPTS – PART 1

1. What did you like about the beginning of the comic?

2. What has been your favorite moment in the comic (so far)?

3. Who is your favorite character?

4. Which characters do like seeing interact the most?

5. What is something you like about the art? If you have a favorite illustration, please share it!

6. What is a theme you like that the comic explores?

7. What do you like about the comic’s story or overall related content?

8. Overall, what do you think the comic’s strengths are?

Don’t feel inspired by the prompts? Feel free to discuss anything else that interested you!

Alex_makes_comics

Just started on this comic. It's highly addictive. The art is super expressive ( I am always really jealous of people who can use dot shading effectively), and the story is fast paced. It keeps you turning pages. I did not see the twist of the vr helmet coming at all and I love that. I love thinking I am reading one thing and then finding out I am reading something else. It suddenly made the character design choice of having a dragon samurai as the MC so much more understandable. This choice was fun to begin with, but it so much more perfect when you realise it's an avatar. I'm only on page 25 and I have to get back to work,so it's early days yet for a favourite character. So far, I'm just annoyed at all the characters for talking in class

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

I made it through the comic, and it was a really fun read! I like how the mechanics of the universe embellish the concept of hacking without... making it "unrealistic"? Like, I often see hacking portrayed in media as just typing gibberish code and saying "i'm in", which is generally pretty silly. What Crossed Wires does is turns hacking into essentially real-world heists, where you need disguises and acting and people watching your back. Sword fights aside, that's actually way closer to how hacking actually works (like, it's easier to get someone to tell you their password than to crack the password database). My absolute favorite example of this is the ending of Chapter 02 (which is also my favorite scene of the comic). Michael has been built up as this absolute dirtbag, and the number of creeps he somehow has following him has made him nigh-unbeatable. I'm not going to spoil exactly how the gang gets to him in the end, but watching him get beaten down was one of the most satisfying things I've ever seen in a comic.

RebelVampire

I agree that story wise, the way it handles hacking is really unique. Which tbf to TV, real hacking is generally actually very boring. And as @snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights) says, there's actually easier ways like just getting someone to tell you their password that are way easier. In real life, even, the first thing companies who are hired to test another company's security do is just show up in person and try to trick their way past people. People are really the worst enemy of all security. But anyway, even though it's a bit weird, I definitely think turning hacking into this real life VR experience is unique while capturing the real life flaws that humans create for security ventures. I also like that the beginning really just starts right up with this premise without taking like 20 pages to exposition. Just gotta accept a fighting dragon, which works really well in this case.(edited)

My favorite moment in the comic so far is actually probably the one morning chat between Cass and VRRMN where they have a serious talk about their relationship and the future. I actually like that their relationship is built on the point that sorry isn't enough, and that while you can see VRRMN's sincerity, you can also justifiably see why Cass isn't going to forgive so easily. And it was just a very real and heart breaking scene since no matter the direction,, nobody was going to be happy. Which tbf, I also like this scene because Cass is my favorite character. I like that Cass is a smidgen more down to earth than some of the other characters so far, and I really like this dilemma where Cass wants to leave hacking, but keeps coming back. Plus Cass is cool and badass, so there's that too.

Ironically, though, I think I like seeing Cass and Alan interact the most. I like this kind of...brother sister relationship they have going on where Cass just wants to protect Alan who is way too eager to get over his head. So all their interactions are super cute

But lets chat about art for a second. I really like that the art style in this is like this interesting mix between modern and cyberpunk. When it comes to stories where you have VR or similar involved, there's a lot of directions to go. Some just use the same art style throughout, some drastically change it, etc. It all depends on what is being sold to the reader in terms of setting. What I like about the art, though, is that despite it really doesn't change much, I'm sold on both the modern real world and the cyberpunk sort of feel I get from the world of the hackers. I always feel like both aspects are unique and have a lot of character, which I don't find in a lot of other similar comics

Iris Jay

Iris Jay here, author of Crossed Wires! Thanks for the rad comments so far, it means a lot that y'all are reading my weird queer hacker comic. <3

And I'm glad you dig the worldbuilding!! XW originally started as a Hackers fan comic, and I wanted to capture the same general feeling of it-- a cyberpunk story that wasn't happening in some neon-lit future, but now, the present, albeit with slightly better graphics capabilities. (Of course, with VR technology rapidly catching up, it's probably going to be historical fiction by the time I'm done with the series, buuuuut what're ya gonna do...)

Cass gets a LOT of cool stuff coming up very soon in the comic. I'm super excited to show y'all where the story goes next!

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

Oh, one other thing I love - I really like how both of the main protagonists are trans. Like I really think it adds some interesting parallels and theming to the story - these are both characters who felt rejected by the world, they went into VR for escapism and for avatars that portrayed who they really were. And I'm interested to see how the theme of a person's VR avatar being very closely tied to their identity is explored further in this chapter (I'm guessing it will be, particularly with regards to Cass).

sagaholmgaard

Im only about 30 pages in but I dig the style difference between the digital world and the dots for shading, and the real world with the greyscale shading. It's really cool. And the use of big areas that are colored black!! Love that kinda stuff, want to get better at using that myself!

Comic Tea Party

DISCUSSION PROMPTS – PART 2

9. What exactly is the Amphisbaena Project and how does it work in a way that it physically affects a person? What is the goal of the people who revived it, and who revived the project in the first place?

10. Do you think Cass will ever forgive Vrrmn/Theresa for the events that happened between them in the past? Can their relationship be repaired, and how will their soured relationship affect their separate relationships with Alan?

11. Do you personally believe in the hackers’ mission in exposing wrongdoing despite it being illegal? In general, what do you think the story has to teach us about standing up for both ourselves and for society?

12. Overall, how do you think the events of the story will change Alan, his relationships with others, and his pursuits of hacking? How will the other characters change and grow as people over the course of their adventures?

Don’t feel inspired by the prompts? Feel free to discuss anything else that interested you!

RebelVampire

I feel like the Amphisbaena Project maybe started as like an anti-hacker measure. Since it's not like hackers are doing legal things, so it walks that ethical grey line of what is and isn't ok to do to law breakers. Like, if someone is invading your home, is it fine to shoot them. But now I think the people who revived it (which I have no guesses as to who yet), are using it to eliminate business rivals. Cause that sounds like something a corporation would do. As for how it works, I think it's just a simple matter of information overload to the brain, just on like...a brain-breaking level. Which this leads me into the moral quandry of, do I believe in the hackers mission. The short answer is no, because personally speaking I don't believe breaking the law is good in most cases, and often wrongdoing taints the results. However, I also emotionally understand why people would do this. The characters have made their personal mission sort of clear, and that makes me empathize with their plight. So all in all, I feel the story teaches us that standing up for yourself and society isn't easy. Whether it's an emotional or physical hardship, there are sacrifices and sometimes, you just gotta be ok with that.

Let me move onto character growth. I don't feel Cass will ever forgive Vrrmn, but I do think Cass will move past it to the level of being cordial. And I think Alan will be a big part of that, since both seem nice enough to not want to put Alan in the middle of their personal issues. So while the relationship will never be what it was, they'll probably be able to say How are you without Cass sneering. XD As for Alan, I kind of feel that the story will teach Alan more humility. We've already seen quite a bit of this, but I think his overwhelming confidence could still be more tempered as the story goes on. Not just because Alan will face strong people, but with more experience comes more wisdom. So at the end, Alan will be able to recognize that those boasted skills in the past weren't so great. As for other characters, I feel like I need to know them more before I can say.

Comic Tea Party

DISCUSSION PROMPTS – PART 3

13. What are you most looking forward to seeing in regards to the comic?

14. Any final words of encouragement for the comic?

Don’t feel inspired by the prompts? Feel free to discuss anything else that interested you!

RebelVampire

What I'm most looking forward to in the comic is probably just seeing more of Cass. I'm interested to see where Cass goes both emotional and physically as the hacking world begins to change somewhat do to the events of the story. Overall, this is a stylistically interesting comic that covers a lot of ground with lots of interesting visuals that complement the story well.

Comic Tea Party

BOOK CLUB END!

Thank you everyone so much for reading and chatting about Crossed Wires this week! Please also give a special thank you to Iris Jay for volunteering the comic and creating it! If you liked Crossed Wires, make sure to continue to support it via some of the links below!

Read and Comment: http://crossedwires.irisjay.net/

Iris’ Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/irisjay

Iris’ Shop: https://shop.itsnero.com/

Iris’ Twitter: https://twitter.com/irisjaycomics

[ngame989]

I'm new to writing fanfic, and always work solo, so when I saw you have a whole team at your disposal, it blew my mind. I've got a list of questions about that: 1. How did you guys find each other and get started? 2. How does your work flow look for a story vs. a page/chapter of the comic? 3. How much do you love having an editor? 4. How does your work change from draft to final? 5. The quality of your prose is very consistent, is that just you as a writer, or is it your team keeping you good?

1. Seddm, EA, and Dino were all good friends of mine from the fandom from before or during Season 3 (I started watching the show between 2B and BFM). Toxic started watching the show sometime in late 2018 and messaged me on Tumblr for some sort of formatting help, or tips and tricks for getting posts more noticed in the fandom or something? I don’t remember and Tumblr DMs are awful to navigate, but we quickly bonded over what really matters most.

Lawchan had been a longtime follower of the show and fanfic author who inspired me to get into it back after 3A and we started talking and became friends at some point in the last year or so. BMC popped into my askbox when I opened it up to headcanon suggestions and ended up sending me over 100 in a span of 3 days that were all wonderful and creative so we started talking more. This really is a “team” in a loose sense, I just have a ton of awesome and creative and supportive friends willing to help out with this.

Oddly enough, this project started less than a day after (and was inspired by) Lake House Fever. I had already been thinking about getting back into fanfiction writing after S4 ended and we were pissed and salty and just needed good Starco thoughts so I hit him up and we started chatting and thought “huh wait a Star and Marco section of a family photo album would be a cool concept for some sort of series” and it evolved from there. We’d planned out a lot of the basics for the comic before the show ended and were waiting on the canon resolution before going any further, and Cleaved shook a lot up for what the postcanon status quo would be, so my whole aforementioned group all sat in a Discord channel on and off for literally 8+ hours the day after Cleaved and roundtable’d the entire backbone of the Earthni timeline for almost every major character (so if there’s people in the credits for TGG that haven’t shown up directly in any works yet, that’s where they contributed).

2.  Overall I’m the project lead and head writer so the majority of specific ideas, what should this page have or where is the story going, etc, come from me although anything we do gets signed off on by at LEAST me, Toxic, and Seddm first.  For comics, I usually plan the concept (Star goes here, these people are talking to each other, happy or sad, etc) and then let Toxic do his thing - he’s great already but is SUUUUUUUUPER amazingly wonderful at reading my mind and making visuals that represent my thoughts even better than the visuals in my head for them. He’ll do a rough page layout and sketch, we workshop that, then he does line-art, we look for any issues or revisions there, then he colors as I make the dialogue.  Usually takes a few days of back and forth.

Honestly my workflow for writing fics is absolute ass and you should not learn from us (ESPECIALLY me) if you’re getting into the game, hahahaha. Every day that I say I’m gonna write something, I usually end up dicking around at my computer until 1 AM and THEN decide to write a little bit and lose sleep over it. A lot of Glow was written between 2 and 6 AM on a Saturday night. I’m ridiculously nitpicky of my own work and half the time before I even finish typing a sentence I’m already erasing it because I decided it was dumb or did something wrong, which makes drafts take F O R E V E R, but the silver lining is that my first draft is already very polished by the time it’s done.

Overall, we play to our strengths - Seddm and I are general idea guys, “wouldn’t it be funny/cool if X” or “we should tell a story about Y” etc, and Toxic is especially wonderful at coming up with fantastic visual designs or gags or whatever else. So there’s plenty of times where I’ll give him the rough outline for a comic page and he’ll slip in some goofy background thing that makes it so much better, or I’ll give him a joke idea and it’ll work amazingly. I also like to call Seddm my “internal debate moderator”. When I’m struggling to figure out what to do for something, I’m often torn between a few ideas. Getting outside advice on it can obviously be really helpful, but there are times that it leaves me even more confused about what to do. But because my and Seddm’s understandings of the characters and senses of design and humor are so damn similar, he can basically serve as both a neutral voice and still part of my own thought process at the same time, which really helps me get my own personal ideas in order before running them by others.

3. Editors are great and wonderful and perfect and I love my friends to death for graciously helping week in and week out with this when I ping them with “hey guys shat this out, sun has been up for an hour so im gonna go fucking die now bye”. As stated earlier, perhaps my need for one isn’t AS high because I self-edit so compulsively as I go, but it’s soooooooo easy to get caught up in your own head and intentions and not spot obvious issues with your own writing that outside voices help a ton.

4. Whoops I guess I answered already. Very little.

5. Given that edits don’t change much about the structure of my writing, I guess it’s me - thanks! But my team is great about keeping me in line with my own vision in editing and hitting any lines that just seem out of place. There was one particular cut line in Glow that I won’t post here that was easily a full standard deviation of naughty greater than the rest of the fic’s tone (unintentional, it was very late -_-) and that got caught and shot down real quick lmfao.

[speremint]

hi! i ADORE you and ur work, ive been kinda cheering u on in silence but im gonna work on being a more Obvious fan :P anywho sorry but i was wondering if you have any tips on starting a comic? Ive been wanting to for months but im a bit nervous on where to start on the story + art process!

First of all, thank you so much! I appreciate the support regardless of how vocal it is ❤❤❤ 

In terms of starting a comic, I completely understand the hesitance; it’s difficult to start a comic, and speaking from experience, motivation is one of the most challenging things you’ll deal with. 

1. Support Network: 

Find people who you can bounce ideas off of and will help you write/develop the story and characters! Support networks will keep you motivated and also act as a test audience for ideas so you can make sure your story is cohesive.

2. Planning: 

It’s really easy to get wrapped up in planning, but keep these things in mind:

                   a. How many characters? What are their names, personalities,                                 motivations, goals, careers?

                   b. What is the main issue they are dealing with? Why do they care?

                   c. What location/time period?

                   d. How long do you want this comic to be

I heavily recommend not doing a long story as your first comic; I kept trying to do these massive comic plots that involved a SHIT TON of world building, multiple main characters, and various plot twists, and this fucked me over so badly. I got too caught up in the tiny details and so stuck on certain things and characters having to happen that I never ended up drawing anything because I stressed myself out.

3. Understand that you will have to cut characters and plot points, and you must be willing to do so

A lot of issues I notice with other artists, and especially myself, is that you’ll have these characters that you desperately want to put into a universe together, or you’ll have this one plot point that you really, really want to do… and in trying to force pieces into the plot that don’t necessarily belong, you end up with a congested, awkwardly forced cast that don’t blend together well.

One of the most common things I’ve read with comic startups is to make your plot first, THEN make the characters, and while making Brimstone and Roses, I definitely can see why. Trying to bend a plot around precreated characters with their own backstories is a headache and a half, and can stagnate your progress.

More under cut

4. Understand that no idea is original, and THAT’S OKAY.

It’s hard to come up with something that’s never been done before, and while I’m not saying to just rip off someone’s story, I am saying that it’s important to get that no matter how hard you try, someone has done something similar before. This is okay though! Part of storytelling is taking a familiar thing and bending it or reinterpreting it so the audience can see it from a different perspective. Don’t be discouraged, be motivated and see how you can change your story.

5. Time Management and understanding format

Create a rough schedule and stick to it; comics are really fuckin’ hard to make. They take a LONG time, and can be difficult to get people interested in so it means that you will start with a small audience and have to build. If you’re using Webtoons, there’s already a large base on there of comic readers, but do know that it’s not guaranteed you’ll be an instant success and it’s hard work to grow an audience. 

Bimonthly updates are suggested at least, just so that your comic doesn’t lay stagnate and the updates will make your comic appear more often on the ‘new’ page, which will lead to more viewers. A lot of people also like to read comics once they have a few episodes so that it’s not so painstaking to wait for updates.

Personally, I’ve been trying to do weekly updates, but I am also taking summer classes so I’ve tried to break up my workload into 1 day is for thumbnails and rough sketches, 2-3 days is for line art, 3 days is for coloring and posting.

6. Be passionate about your comic

It’s hard to say to be passionate about your comic whenever I just said that you shouldn’t use characters/plots you’re already invested in, but honestly? You really do need to love what you’re working on and the characters involved because otherwise it will be really difficult to get yourself to draw them constantly. Talk about the characters with your friends, do sketches for fun, just do ‘What If’ scenarios; get yourself involved with them and their personalities and it will be so much easier.

As for my process;

I have a synopsis of the entire comic written up already (so I know each arc and what will happen, and the character developments of all characters involved).

I then took that and broke it into arcs, and then the arcs into chapters. I take each chapter and estimate how many panels it will be and if it should be broken up due to length.

Once that’s done, I create a script like so:

I then do thumbnails on paper, which usually are stick figures and very fuckin’ ugly (always plan for the word balloons).

Then, on my computer, I do a rough sketch of all the panels and readjust as needed based on pacing

Then I just do refined sketch, lineart, then coloring, then the after effects (lighting, tonal variation, etc.), and finally add word balloons before slicing it up and uploading to Webtoons. I’m sorry; I’d give a more in-depth reveal of my process but it’s fairly straight forward and I don’t honestly have screenshots of the editing stages.

 It’s mostly just a lot of time consumption and planning.

I hope this helps! And good luck with your comic! Feel free to bounce ideas off of me if you want!~

[allmyfangirldreams]

Would you be interested in a (7 part) series based entirely upon the Harry Potter Books/movies except from another character’s point of view?

Before I start, I’d like to say that if this idea happens to already exist and I didn’t know about it then please ignore this post as a whole cause thats really embarrassing!

I’ve been thinking about this for like forever and I’ve read a few posts of people also wondering what having the Harry Potter series be from another character’s perspective would be like so I thought it might be a really fun idea to try it. I have a plan but I’m not really sure if anyone would really be interested in it so I wanted to get some opinions from you guys.

Here’s what I wanna do: I want to write a series based on every single Harry Potter book/movie (mainly books) but I want it to be based on another character’s experiences. If enough of you support this idea of mine, I plan to go through each chapter and rewrite it from whatever character you guys most want me to focus on - this will take a lot of time and but if people get to enjoy it at the end or the day, I really wouldnt mind putting that effort into it. (I might not be able to have the same exact number of chapters in the original book especially if the character is hardly mentioned but I’ll try my best!)

This will clearly be based on what I imagined happening and most of it will be made up since the specific character might not be mentioned in that chapter however Im going to also use some interviews with JK Rowling and try to gain ideas about what she thought of the characters and what she thought would happen and base all my writing on that.

My personal choices if I do go along with this would be either be Draco Malfoy, Severus Snape or Sirius Black/Remus Lupin but of course I also want some of your opinions on whom you would be interested in the most.

Let me explain to you why I’d like to do each of those characters and how I plan to do it for each of them.

My top choice would is Draco because I actually would find it the most interesting to go through his experiences through each year at hogwarts. I’ve always wondered how things would’ve been like if he was the main character and I’ve always wanted to know what he’s thinking - especially through the last few books.

As well as that, Draco would also be a good choice since he’s been there ever since the start of the series all the way to the very end and I want more detail on his character development since everything he’s been through is also pretty damn horrific for a teenage boy and I don’t think the original books did him any justice with his character development.

Obviously it would be somewhat hard to write this because Draco is not in all of the chapters of the books but I’d use the books and movies and try to imagine what sort of things he would be doing at that particular time and what sort of things he might be feeling and like I said, I’d take into consideration all of Rowling’s thoughts of him and all of the facts we’ve already got in the books.

Some things that I’d really enjoy writing would be things like Draco meeting Harry on the train, his thoughts and feelings after being rejected for the first time, Draco ordering Dobby to warn Harry and stop him from going back to Hogwarts, being afraid of the dementors and the escape of Sirius Black and so on.

I’m not gonna lie; I am a huge Drarry fan so if I do go along with Draco, expect to see some sort of pinning or like ‘in love but unaware of it’ kinda things. However this will not change the story line/ending of the actual story; Draco won’t end up with Harry in their first year and neither would he do so in the seventh since that is not what happens in Harry Potter. Although that would not likely happen in the rewritten books, because that is not the purpose of this is, I’d happily write an eighth year of hogwarts (after all other books are complete) that might focus on Drarry and their relationship if you guys really want that.

(I got inspired with some post from someone stating that they’d like to read a book or fanfic that revolves around Draco - I think it was by @rosesforlester here on tumblr that was posted in around March last year - and I’ve seen other posts here and there asking for the same things so…)

My second option would be writing the stories from Snape’s POV. I’m not the biggest fan of Snape however I know that many people for some reason are so I begun thinking about it. It might really be interesting to see things he might’ve gone through in order to keep Harry safe or gain Dumbledore’s trust and maybe his feelings might be interesting to some people who really like him and appreciate what he’s done.

I also know Snape is one of JK Rowling’s favourite characters so I might be able to get a lot of ideas from her interviews or from pottermore and such so thats why I’m considering writing his point of view however in my mind it’s kind of hard to imagine what Snape could’ve been doing or feeling since he was pretty much seen as a cold heartless character until the last book so bare with me if you would like me to do his perspective.

Lastly, Sirius’ or Remus’ perspectives. This obviously would not be a 7 part series if i decide to do it from either of their perspectives as they are only there for 3-4 books and they’re hardly mentioned but I’m in love with both of them and what they’ve gone through so I really want to write their side of the story.

For me personally, it would be really interesting to know all about Sirius’ mind. I want to have flashbacks based on the night James and Lily died, I want to experience his thoughts during Azkaban and the hatred he felt when he saw scabbers on that newspaper article and I want to write all about the nights he spent trying to forget those horrifying 12 years he spent locked up.

As for Lupin, I want to know all about how broken he was the night he thought 3 of his best friends were dead cause of someone he used to trust with his life, how he felt lonely every night as he thought of all the maruaders went through together, how after every full moon he missed this 3 animagus friends who became that way just for him, how betrayed he felt for 12 years and finally how happy he was to see Harry and have tea with him at school and to realise that Sirius really never betrayed him at all and that he’s back now and its all okay except it’s not.

For both Sirius and Remus, it would he more like another version of their experiences during the first magical war and their experiences together with James, Lily, Peter and Severus during Hogwarts and all of that. It will basically be the marauders books that we never really got from JK Rowling but it will hardly follow the plan like Draco’s point of view would.

Also I’m one of the biggest fans of the marauders so a 7 book series based on their life would be everything I’ve ever dreamed of but since we aren’t getting that anytime soon, from the looks of it, I’d happily be the one to write it if you guys also like the idea. I’m also a big fan of wolfstar and since we dont know much about the marauders’ experience at hogwarts, in my version wolfstar might be referenced or it might be canon or whatever - I don’t know yet.

Anyway, I’d love to know all about your thoughts on my little idea and if you’d be interested in any of it. Feel free to comment or message me directly with your support and opinion on the character you’d most wanna see and your thoughts on my plan as a whole! It will be a huge motivation for me since this task is a really big one and your support is what will make it happen.

Also, feel free to also offer your own opinion and reason if you think theres another character that I did not mention that would be better to focus on - let’s discuss and debate!

I’d appreciate all the support and if any of you are willing to help with the research, editing or any other area you think you’d be of help with please don’t be shy to message me and I’d love you even more!

Reblogs would be most appreciated as it would also help spread the word! Thank you so much!

(All of my social media links are in my bio)

[maythedreadwolftakeyou]

Fic Writer Meme! tagged by @aban-asaara, thank you!! a nice meme to self-indulgently wind down with after a stressful day...

What is your total word count on AO3?

160,546. I had forgotten all about the AO3 stats page until having to dig that out, oops. I have more short drabbles etc on tumblr as well (and a LOT of stuff I just... never finished/posted anywhere).

How often do you write?

varies hugely depending on what else is going on in my life. In good times, I aim for daily, at least 500 words. During years I participate in NaNoWriMo, 1500-2000 per day in November. Other times I just can’t make even 500 happen with work/etc. Still more other times, my depression kicks in and I’m pretty useless at everything, and unfortunately go months with no writing at all. 

Do you have a routine for writing?

I try to write in several short bursts. If doing 500/words/day, then two chunks of 250, and some editing/planning on top. If during NaNoWriMo, 4 chunks of about 500 words each. If I really push myself to get them done in sections, I spend less time fiddling around, but the break between them makes it still relaxing/fun.

I also have a computer/document setup that works very well for me. I write on a laptop that can scroll between several different ‘desktop’ screens. I have one for fun stuff, and set one aside for writing. The only browser window/tabs allowed to be open on that desktop are writing-related ones--research, youtube clips of scenes, wiki articles, etc. All other fun stuff goes on the other desktop where it can’t distract me while I get through a section. Then over the browser I have two word documents: one on the left titled “[StoryTitle.docx]”, and one next to it titled “[StoryTitleNotes.docx]”. On the left is the “final version” of what I’m working on--aka the working document, with the most current edits/chapters/etc. The right “Notes” one is for outlines, summaries, lines I had to delete but might want to use somewhere else, passages I haven’t gotten to yet but wanted to sketch out before I lost the inspiration for them, quotes that I want to echo the feel of, copied dialogue from the game so I don’t forget it, etc etc. Anything related to the story in the working document that I might want to reference. The notes doc can be fairly messy--my level of organization for it changes from project to project. But it makes it WAY easier for me mentally to delete and tweak things when I can put them somewhere else just in case it turns out the first way was better. 

What are your favorite kinks/tropes/pairing?

Ohh... my pairings are pretty obvious, I’m really into Lavellan/Solas, Hawke/Fenris, and Shepard/Garrus. 

But what I’m really into is Hawke/the concept of found family and also various coping mechanisms+mental health issues; Lavellan/the weight of duty above all else, Shepard/the giddy knowledge that you won’t survive what you have to turn yourself into in order to save everything you love, Ryder+Sam/breaking the boundaries of what it means to be a single conscious entity...  

my big literary kinks are pretty much any narrative that has to do with one or more of the following: self-sacrifice, the transcendence of humanity in pursuit of a goal, the knowledge of the futility of one’s actions, the duality of self plus other, the terrifying and terrible beauty of rage, stubborn and violent perseverance in the face of insurmountable odds, the frailty of people who nonetheless fool everyone into believing they’re not broken. I am also a very big fan of nontraditional formats, and the meta-narrative of a story over usual structure. 

tl;dr: I like my fiction weird. 

Like... I recognize that most of my fics. Do not include a majority of these. And the ones that do aren’t really very popular. The one that gets closest to these concepts is probably the people you love become ghosts inside of you, and like this, you keep them alive which very few people read and got almost no attention. But I knew that when I posted it. I wrote it for me, after finishing the ME trilogy for the first time. The above tropes show up way more in my original writing, while I use fanfiction as a break from these more complicated/heavier themes, and to just have some fun with less technical writing. They’re there, just in smaller doses.

Fics with that sort of bend are WAY harder to search for than ones based on pairings though so like... if you have recs for anything that follows the above themes. please send them to me. i’m dying. please. 

Do you have a favorite fic of yours?

How can I not answer this with Fallout from the Fade? It’s my baby. It’s the longest thing I’ve consistently written, without getting bored and abandoning it halfway through. It will probably take me a while yet (depending on mental health/writing pace/etc) to finish but I know how it ends, and most of how to get there. It’s also the third fanfiction I had ever started writing. The beginning feels rough to me when I go back to it (which an inevitable fact of my decision to post as I write/not use beta readers, which I still think was the only way for me to do this story), but I still think a lot of my ideas were clever and my execution may not have been perfect but it was pretty good. I’ve learned a lot while writing this fic.

And also I love to make people suffer. Knowing that people have shed literal tears because of things i have written fills me with the delightful glee to push forward. 

But really. Comments mean the world to me. They spur me on through rough patches where I otherwise abandon works. I’m really not used to having an audience: most of what I’ve written in my life is original content that I don’t post/share. Having other people also invested makes me feel accountable, in a good way. 

Other honorable mentions: I think Grief is one of my best fics in terms of execution and balance. Less a man than a wild cat and A Slip of the Tongue were both exercises in pacing/timing as well as forays into the highly unfamiliar territory of comedy. The aforementioned the people you love become ghosts inside of you, and like this, you keep them alive satisfies my eternal desire for weird presentation and ideology taking a front seat over narrative structure (I have like. 4 other partial fics similar to this that will probably never be posted because I know they’re what I want to explore, not what other people actually want to read).

Your fic with the most kudos?

Fallout from the Fade, with 626.

Anything you don’t like about your writing?

I wish I was more consistent about sitting down and working. I managed it for 6 straight months when I started the fanfic gig, but to be fair, during that time I also had no friends and spent 5 days every other week camped out in Death Valley with no internet and nothing to do but write and brainstorm. Having the barest scrapings of a social life now that I’ve moved doesn’t do much for wordcount, it turns out.

Now something you do like?

I think I can write about mental illness realistically without it coming across as either overdramatic or idealistic. I like my descriptions, when I allow myself to use them (y’all don’t want to see how flowery most of my works would be without my self control). I have visibly improved since I started writing in 2015. 

i feel like a lot of my original circle on tumblr isnt active/writing anymore but gonna tag some people w/ no obligation… @leviathanmirror  @seekingidlewild @littleblue-eyedbird @loquaciousquark @kayla-bird and anyone else who wants to answer!! feel free to tag me if you do it, im lonely... 

[meiizumi]

Castle of Shikigami: An informal rant nobody asked for about my most obscure obsession to date

STOP i spent like 2 days writing this post and im only posting it on tumblr because it’s the one website i’m a member of that can hold the most text. i wanted to infodump somewhere...... read this to learn something i guess (´･ω･`)

Bad voice acting is the Peak of comedy to me, and while I was looking for something to laugh at one day, I found this game called Castle Shikigami 2 for the PS2. The US version of the game's dialogue is rife with machine translated text that makes no sense, and awkward voice acting to boot. They even have voice actors saying the wrong lines, voice actors speaking implied commands, and a few voice lines are left in Japanese. Apparently, Roger Craig Smith (Sonic the Hedgehog's current voice actor) was in this game but I don't think he's even credited?! I think I know which character he voiced but I’m not exactly sure.

The history behind this game’s localization is REALLY weird. Castle of Shikigami/Shikigami no Shiro was originally an arcade bullet hell shoot em up game. The series was created by Alfa System and it was one of Alfa System’s main IPs. There are three main shmup installments and a text adventure game for the PS2, Nanayozuki Gensoukyoku. Nanayozuki was practically fanservice for whatever number of CoS fans there were back then. Each main game in the series was originally an arcade cabinet, but they were all ported to PC and home consoles. In CoS 2′s case, it came out on the PS2, Gamecube, and Dreamcast, but only the PS2 version got localized. The western publisher, XS Games specializes in publishing quality budget titles such as “Bass Pro Shops: The Strike” for the Wii. I theorize they didn’t care too much about the actual content of CoS 2 and were more focused on selling a game quickly for a low price, so they just machine translated it and adjusted a few things. If you’re wondering if Castle of Shikigami 1 was also translated this badly, the answer is No. XS Games instead removed all the dialogue from the western release of CoS 1, and released it with the title “Mobile Light Force 2″.

“Wait, what do you mean ‘Mobile Light Force TWO’ if Castle of Shikigami 1 is the first game in the series?” If you want to know what Mobile Light Force 1 was, it’s GUNBIRD; another shmup game, but by a completely different developer than Castle of Shikigami. I don’t know why they did that. What really kills me though is that both MLF 1 and 2 use the same boxart, which is COMPLETELY unrelated to the actual contents of either game. AFJQHJFOKLJFDS look at this

There’s more hilarity behind Mobile Light Force that isn’t hard to find so you can search that up if you’re interested. But thankfully, Castle of Shikigami 3's Wii edition got more of a proper localization by Aksys Games.

Now I would bluntly say something like “stan castle of shikigami” but:

1. This series’ lore is insanely convoluted. It’s an essential part of this expansive fictional universe referred to as “Mumei Sekaikan” (I don’t know what this translates to in English) where there’s like, 7 different parallel worlds. There’s more obscure ass games and manga that are tied to this universe, and I think there’s even a tabletop RPG made based off it. Have you heard of “Gunparade March”? Most likely you haven’t; it’s an obscure video game made by Alfa System that also got adapted into an anime, and I feel it can be described as Mechas x Persona. One of the characters in CoS 2 is just one of the GPM characters going undercover to find her senpai who traveled to the CoS world. Or something like that. The 7-world universe isn’t explicitly talked about in the game but they make so many references to it without defining anything that it’s like you Must know about it. There is NO documentation in English about the Mumei Sekaikan I could find on the internet, although there is a wiki in Japanese where I got a ton of knowledge from (GOOGLE TRANSLATE IS MY TRUSTED FRIEND) I feel like I might be THE person in the United States who has the most knowledge on the Mumei Sekaikan, and I could go on another tangent talking about what I know so far (and who this one specific dude Shibamura Yuuri is) but I won’t.

2. The writing isn’t excellent and can be pretty Unwoke ™; the first game came out in 2001 and the third game came out in 2005 if that gives you a sense on what era these writers were in. As far as the games dialogue goes, the characters appear kind of flat. CoS 1 and 2 Kotaro (i refuse to use the official “Kohtaro”) is stupid and driven by JUSTICE to a point where it’s annoying. I can’t tell if Hyuga is trying to be a Ladies Man in CoS 2 and 3. Kim, a religious tae kwon do instructor, spends CoS 2 thinking about how he should atone for his sins, then he turns himself into jail at the end. Sayo’s backstory is that she was a shrine maiden raised as a “human weapon” to have no emotions and her only goal in life was to kill god and then die, something like that. However, after CoS 1, she gets a crush on Kotaro because he actually treats her like a human and Of course that’s what you’d expect from the main teen girl and boy in the series. In CoS 3, Sayo's character is mostly played out to be a major tsundere for Kotaro even though surprisingly HIS character in this game changed a ton compared to 1 and 2 (he had to kill an illusion of his older brother, who he learned actually died earlier, and now he has to kill an illusion of his childhood sweetheart... damb that shit sucks :/). He’s still stupid though

There’s a gag in CoS 2 that I can’t clearly remember where it’s like, Niigi makes Sayo and Fumiko, who are both romantically interested in Kotaro, think that he’s only into little girls? Meanwhile, Fumiko’s magic goes wrong and her appearance turns to that of a child though in response she’s like “hee hee maybe Kotaro will like this”. basically more On-Brand early 2000′s anime unwokeness than average. Speaking of Fumiko, she’s a 400+ year old militaristic witch who constantly teases Kotaro (who’s like 16 or 17) and she wants to marry him for his magical potential since he’s like one of the candidates for becoming God??? From the official CoS 3 character descriptions, “Her hobby is to steal the men from other women. Her second hobby is trampling upon people.” She canonically stole her stepmother’s husband from her stepmother (the 3rd boss of CoS 3). I don’t get how that shit would have worked

3. The game itself is HARD af but to be fair I’m a scrub gamer. I can’t get past stage 3 on easy difficulty without continuing. Yes i bought CoS 1 on Steam, Yes it has a port on steam i feel like i should have mentioned this earlier

4. Besides CoS 1 having a port on Steam, CoS 2 and 3 might be hard to obtain legally. The poorly translated CoS 2 was apparently super cheap back then, but since it’s an old game, its value might’ve increased. When I tried looking up prices for English CoS 3, all the listings were like at least $40 and being broke I wouldn’t want to spend more than $29 for a Wii game in 2019... honestly I just emulated CoS 2. shout out to PCSX2

Last month I was desperate, bored enough, and deep enough in the Shikigami rabbit hole that I tried to find the manga based off of it online. The CoS manga only tells the events of the first two games so I still don’t really get anything about CoS 3, like who Mihee, Batu, and Emilio are supposed to be. However, the plot events also differ. For example, Roger Sasuke exists as a character in CoS 3 but in the manga he literally Dies. There’s 11 total volumes of this; 3 volumes dedicated to CoS 1 and the latter 8 (the “Twisted Castle arc”) dedicated to CoS 2. Only the very first 3 chapters were scanlated to English all the way in 2011. Fortunately, I did find the entire manga uploaded though............... in CHINESE. So you know what I did? I “read” the entire thing using my phone’s Google Translate OCR app to take pictures of each page and comprehend the translations. Of course I still don’t understand CRAP because of the Mumei Sekaikan jargon + machine translation but I understood enough to get emotionally attached to some of the characters. I wish I hadn’t. At least through the manga I learned that the characters DO have some depth and pre-established relationships. For instance, the reason why Roger Sasuke became a ninja is because when he first landed in Japan as a kid, he was getting bullied or something and he didn’t know Japanese then Kotaro saw this and told the bullies to stop. Then after Roy /sorry i mean Roger learned that he was set to home-stay with the Kugas in the first place, he decided to dedicate his life to Japan in order to protect Kotaro back. I think. DO U SEE HOW ABSURD THIS SHIT IS Anyway Nanayozuki takes place between the second and third games and sets things up for CoS 3. There’s a full playthrough of it uploaded to YouTube and I think it contains a lot of juicy lore, but it’s just too much to go over with Shitty Google Translate OCR. There’s also Shikigami no Shiro novels which apparently contain the most backstory, but I have a 0% chance of finding these online for free. Not to mention that these would ALSO be too much effort to Google Translate.

in conclusion: You don’t HAVE to play Castle of Shikigami. Like, I’m not gonna recommend it for the content, but if you love shmups and are looking for a shmup game you haven’t heard of then I will recommend it for the gameplay (old touhou mutuals assemble theres a POWER-UP-BY-GRAZE MECHANIC). I’ve counted like 4 total fans outside of Japan that like this series for the story, and I don’t think that number is going to increase because I doubt CoS 2 will ever get retranslated and ported. I just want you to know that this series exists and that there’s a ton of wacky shit behind it besides the bad Castle Shikigami 2 dub. also if someone knows enough japanese or chinese and has an INKLING of interest in this series umm talk to me and help me decipher stuff

I‘m kinda sad that the series is pretty much Dead though. This is the most recent piece of official Castle of Shikigami art I could find, and this was for the 2018 New Year. The next most recent piece of official CoS art I found was also drawn by the character designer Sonoda Miku all the way in January 2008, commemorating the end of the CoS manga serialization. Alfa System released a spiritual sequel to Castle of Shikigami on the Japanese Switch eShop called Sisters Royale, with character designs I think are still by Sonoda. By “spiritual sequel” I mean that it has some of the EXACT same shot types as CoS and the same mechanic where grazing bullets increases your power and score. This is the closest we’ll get to a Shikigami no Shiro 4. I wonder what the business decision behind that game was but it actually looks like fun and I want to play it so OK Go off i guess

[cynthiajayusa]

‘Schitt’s Creek’ Creator Dan Levy Talks Queer Journey

Oh, sure, Dan Levy gets excited. Really, he does! The sparkle may not be written on his face – cherubic, distinguished, writerly; one with features much like his actor-dad, Eugene Levy – but inside you can bet he’s screaming. It’s a Canadian thing.

Our conversation takes place on a day in mid December, the day after Pop TV’s Schitt’s Creek, his farcical and heartfelt sitcom about a family stripped of their riches that is lovingly created as a gift to this godforsaken world with his father, has picked up a Critics’ Choice nod for Best Comedy Series and Levy is screaming. Really!

“We have a limit to how excited we can be about ourselves,” he says, snickering. He continues, Canadian-modesty fully intact: “But it’s a thrill.”

The thrill humbly extended to a tweet written by the out 35-year-old conveying gratitude for the show’s recent wins when GALECA: The Society of LGBTQ Entertainment Critics awarded Schitt’s Creek with two honors, TV Comedy of the Year and Unsung TV Show of the Year, during their annual Dorian Awards. (Full, proud disclosure: I’m a member, and I voted for Schitt’s Creek in both categories.)

Get Levy talking about Mariah Carey – the diva inspiration for one of season 4’s sweetest and gayest lines, pertaining to his onscreen boyfriend, Patrick (Noah Reid) – and he won’t stop screaming. We spoke about the Elusive Chanteuse’s prominent place on Schitt’s Creek and about what’s in store for his lovably dramatic character, David Rose, mom Moira (Catherine O’Hara), dad Johnny (Eugene Levy) and sister Alexis (Annie Murphy) in season 5. Plus, this season’s coming out story that Levy says was an emotional shoot and “my proudest episode.”

I was feeling such disappointment when the Golden Globes and the Emmys didn’t acknowledge Schitt’s Creek yet again this year. So, this Critics’ Choice nod must feel like, “Finally, awards committees are catching up to the rest of the world.”

Slowly but surely we’re cracking into that illustrious group of shows that get nominated for things and it’s a wonderful feeling. We’re a very small show, and I think for very small shows that don’t necessarily have huge resources to promote themselves for award consideration, a nomination from the critics at this point is fantastic. It means it’s been word-of-mouth, and I think the fact that we are also streaming on Netflix has cracked us open to an entirely new and different audience as well.

And listen, our team, first and foremost, just wants to tell really interesting stories and wants to have fun when we go to work every day, and that has always been the goal for me as someone who’s running the show. The minute you start to look outside and think, “Oh, we’re being recognized for this; people are putting us on lists,” it’s wonderful but it can really change the experience of making your show. Suddenly you’re more concerned about, “Are things living up to the standards that the media have kindly set for us?” And that can be really intimidating.

So I try not to pay attention as much as I possibly can; especially when we’re making our show, I try to disengage from all of that so we can really focus on what’s ultimately going to serve our characters. But I’m not gonna lie: It’s been a joy over the past couple of years to see our show up there in the ranks of other shows that I have long admired myself. So I’m just ultimately bursting with pride for our team.

How are the Roses coping with each other during season 5?

Season 4 was a really emotional chapter in this family’s trajectory and we were able to really peel back some layers and show a lot of growth. Season 5 is really about having fun. The guards are down a little bit, which means we can have more fun with our characters, we can put them in stranger situations.

We tried our best to pair characters this season with characters that have never been paired before and really take stories outside of the box and expand our world a little bit, so this season was always intended to be the shiniest and brightest and boldest we’ve ever done. But I’m just really excited because there’s so much in store in season 5. It’s bursting with life and joy and I can’t wait for, particularly, a few episodes.

David does a lot of things this season that, for me, as a gay kid growing up, were horrifying: tree-climbing, baseball. What was your favorite David adventure to shoot this season?

The fun thing about David is he’s someone who has put on such a front for so long that he has really, over the course of his two years in this town, allowed himself to just get in better touch with himself and expose himself to vulnerability in ways that he never would have. So something like the first episode of season 5 (laughs) – constantly feeling the need to prove his relationship and how far he’s willing to go for it – was really fun. I mean, the day was grueling and I was stuck up there (in the trees) for, I think, seven hours…

So by the end of the shoot, your face was David’s. You weren’t even acting anymore.

(Laughs) The character and me as a person really came together in those moments. But yeah, I would say the excitement of our first episode back is really an indicator of what’s to come.

I can’t believe these characters are just now trying on Moira’s wigs. How did that not already happen?

The idea was, for us, that she needed to be on a totally different continent in order for David and Alexis to even dare touch that wall, because of all the things, all the buttons you can press with Moira, those wigs are everything (laughs). So we thought it could be really fun, considering no one’s ever tried them on. And we never ever really touched it, but that was really out of respect for Moira, who was holding court in her home. Now that she’s away we can all sort of have some fun with it, and getting to select which wig we got was a really fun process too. I tried on that little blunt, blonde wig that I wear in the episode and thought, “Well, this could be good for my real life!”

Will there be more Mariah stuff? And also, how much Mariah is played on set?

A lot of Mariah is played just in my life, which seeps into my professional life. She tweeted about the show last year after the Mariah Carey reference in our season 4 finale.

You recently celebrated that tweet’s anniversary on your IG.

I’ll be celebrating that anniversary for years to come. I lost it. There’s been some amazing people who’ve said some wonderful things about the show, but the Mariah Carey tweet, to me, was like, I don’t even know how to process that. I think back to being a teenager, putting up Mariah Carey posters on my bedroom walls. It was a full-circle moment.

The last time we chatted you told me that one episode in particular this season made you cry. Why is it so meaningful to you?

It’s a layered thing. I find it sometimes quite emotional to be in the position that I am in, to be able to tell queer stories and show them on a mass scale, to write moments and stories, and in this particular case a love story, that seems to really affect people. It’s hard not to think back to a time in your life where you didn’t have that kind of freedom. For me, I think back to high school when I was still in the closet and wondering if I would ever be able to live out in the open. To now be in the position that I am, getting to write what I find to be a really lovely queer romance that millions of people get to watch, it’s quite profound.

And how about the episode’s impact on you?

It’s a particular moment that I had to write that is something that most queer people go through and articulating that, dramatizing that, is just a very meaningful episode for me and for a character in our show. It’s a coming out episode. So getting to write that and trying to find a way around that kind of story that’s been told several times in film and television and literature, finding a dynamic way into that story and out of that story, was probably the greatest joy and challenge I’ve had as a writer for TV. And now that we’ve cut and polished the episode it’s my proudest episode we’ve done as a show.

Given that you understand the weight of this show on your audience, I’m guessing David and Patrick will never break up.

(Laughs) Um, I don’t ever want them to, but you never know what happens. All I know is that we do understand what our fans are enjoying and we certainly wouldn’t want to do anything to jeopardize their loyalty.

It’s the first successful relationship I’ve had in a while and it’s not even mine.

Funnily enough, me too.

For the Schitt’s Creek: Up Close & Personal tour, you and some cast members are touring various U.S. cities. How did the idea for the tour start and are there any Tina Turner musical numbers?

(Laughs) The idea for the tour started mainly because I think so much of the success of our show is based on the enthusiasm and the word-of-mouth that has come from our fans. And the feedback that I’ve received from our fans has been so much more than, “We love your show”; it’s long letters about how this show has provided sort of a safe space, a happy space, a joyful space in dark times. We seem to have a relationship with the people who watch our show and love our show that is slightly deeper than I think the relationship that a lot of people have with the shows that they watch on TV.

Shooting the show in Canada, we don’t ever really have access to a lot of our fans. We shoot for three months out of the year and the rest of the time is me editing or writing the show, and a lot of the response and feedback we got from fans was a desire to interact with the cast, and so we started developing this idea. It’s a Q-and-A, it’s very casual. We show some things we’ve never shown before, we show some behind-the-scenes stuff, we show some bloopers, and there may or may not be a musical performance that may or may not involve a Tina Turner song sung by someone who may or may not play my boyfriend on a television show (laughs). But for us, it’s a great way for us to meet our fans and for the fans to come and say hi in person. We did our first in Los Angeles a little while ago and it was incredible. There was so much love in the room.

Regarding the writing, do you think in terms of meme-able moments in the writers’ room?

No, no! In fact, there was some kind of Instagram sticker – you know the GIF stickers you can use? There’s one of Moira that apparently had like a billion views or something insane, and I’m always sort of amazed how people have taken moments from our show and turned them into these little internet memes, because when we’re writing we never really think about that. But it’s quite an expressive show (laughs), so I understand how it would be very easy to take some reactions from our cast and make some sort of universal reactions of disgust or confusion.

I used your face when I was disappointed by the Golden Globe nominations.

(Laughs) I’m so happy that I could be there for you in that time.

Has working on this show and writing queer characters with your dad bonded you in ways you didn’t expect it to?

I honestly don’t know, actually. The show has been sort of wonderful in the sense that we have been put in a position where we get to see each other every day. I think just going through the experience of making this show and seeing its success has been a wonderful thing for the two of us.

There are just times in your life when things happen that you’ll never forget and you know that you’re sort of in the middle of doing something quite special and lasting, so I know that whatever I do after this show, we’ll always have this time together, we’ll always have this sort of chapter of our lives that we got to immortalize on screen, which is quite lovely.

source https://hotspotsmagazine.com/2019/02/28/schitts-creek-creator-dan-levy-talks-queer-journey/ from Hot Spots Magazine https://hotspotsmagazin.blogspot.com/2019/02/schitts-creek-creator-dan-levy-talks.html