#so many of these songs have videos that i never knew existed and have never seen before

[scarlet-bitch]

You'd Have to Stop the World...

11.5k words, FWB Eddie X afab!reader, 18+ Explicit Content - MDNI, use of "baby" as a nickname, no use of y/n, little to no description of reader, set in Hawkins 1990 so everyone's aged up accordingly, no mention of upside down - could sorta be canon if you pretend vecna was defeated and eddie never got attacked by the bats but reader wouldn't know it ever existed. * fair amount of smut in this especially the beginning - it's a fwb plot so... but yes, there is plot. lots of angst and some fluff*

a/n: most of my ideas are usually inspired by a song - the concept for this came entirely through a playlist I made, so l added the track list! Feedback is greatly appreciated! Thanks for reading and as always, I hope you enjoy! xo, scarlet 💋

Struggling through a dry spell, an ideas comes to you when your attractive friend Eddie vents about his recent disappointing hookups. What starts as casual fun gradually complicates as physical and emotional boundaries begin to blur.

“I keep recalling things we never did / Messy top lip kiss / How I long for our trysts / Without ever touching his skin / How can I be guilty as sin?”

A few years ago, you met Eddie Munson, thanks to an introduction from your then coworkers, Robin and Steve. What began as a casual acquaintance in a larger group quickly evolved into a genuine friendship.

But as with many great friendships, a new romance - this time with Matt - changed the dynamics. As your relationship with Matt grew, so did the distance between you and Eddie. Matt didn’t like him, his dislike fueled by a few key grievances: he accused Eddie of overcharging for weed, could barely tolerate Eddie’s metal music - and was visibly irritated by the number of times you dragged him to Eddie’s shows. Yet, beneath it all, Matt’s discomfort had a more personal edge. He was convinced there was something more to your friendship, despite your insistence on its platonic nature.

“Okay, sure, whatever you say,” Matt insisted, his tone dripping with frustration. “But I’m telling you, he definitely wants to fuck you.”

Matt’s reasoning included:

• “He never makes you pay for weed.” 

⁃ Ah, the classic move of the charming drug dealer - Robin and Steve are also lucky recipients of Eddie's personal stash. Generosity? Sure. A sign of deeper feelings? Unlikely. 

• “He flirts with you.”

⁃ Eddie flirts with everyone. This isn’t a private act of seduction - it’s his default setting. And sure, before you dated Matt maybe you’d indulge in Eddie’s flirty nature but it was just all in good fun. 

• "He call's you - Baby." 

⁃ The nickname was not some romantic gesture, Eddie's just a menace. It all started after a shift at Family Video, you and Robin went back to Steve's house. Eddie made an entrance, a blunt was passed, and you started rambling about the ridiculousness of the name "Baby" in Dirty Dancing. "You know, it's funny you hate it because 'Baby' suits you perfectly," Eddie quipped. You shot him a look of annoyance, but Eddie, with that trademark grin, decided it was a keeper and has called you it ever since. 

• “The way he fucking looks at you.” 

⁃ This is where the plot thickens. While the other signs are easily explained, you didn't quite see what Matt was ever referring to. 

Yet, every time Matt voiced his theories, your mind couldn’t help but drift to thoughts of Eddie in bed. He had quite the reputation as a good fuck and it was undeniable that he was incredibly attractive. But the guilt of entertaining these thoughts, especially while with Matt, was crushing. So, you shoved them aside.

In December of '89, Matt accepted a job that meant relocating out of state. By then, your relationship had lost its spark, of course, except for the one area where it still managed to flicker - the bedroom. You both knew it was time to let go, the idea of a long distance romance wasn't practical when the only thing holding you together required physical proximity you would no longer share.

Despite it being the obvious choice - the end of nearly two years together was tough, but as the saying goes, when one door closes, another opens. With Matt no longer in the picture, your calendar quickly filled with late nights and laughter, surrounded by Robin, Steve, Eddie, and your ever expanding social circle. It was the start of a new era, as you entered the new decade. 

"These fatal fantasies / Giving way to labored breath / Taking all of me / We've already done it in my head / If it's make believe / Why does it feel like a vow / We'll both uphold somehow?"

Four months into being single, and the dry spell was becoming a cruel joke. Every date you'd been on had left much to be desired, as none of them ever ended with you on your back. Ultimately a waste of your time. 

It was an added frustration to be out with Eddie and watch him glide from one partner to the next with such ease. You even found yourself feeling a bit envious of his conquests, because the more time you began spending with him, the more you understood why Matt had his suspicions. 

On quite a few occasions, you caught Eddie's gaze lingering on you. The stolen glances and charged looks sent your heart racing. Gone were the days of pushing these thoughts away. Now, you found yourself indulging in them, late at night, hand between your thighs, wondering if the fantasies might ever become reality. 

“Don’t play dumb, I know you fantasize. You could have me on my back every night.”

One night, after having your friends over for dinner, Eddie decided to stay and chill after Robin and Steve had left. He sprawled on your couch, legs draped over the coffee table, grumbling about the monotony of his recent casual encounters and the lack of sexual chemistry he'd been experiencing.

Eddie looked at you, cutting himself off mid rant, his fingers deftly rolling a blunt. "It's cool if I smoke in here, right? Or d'ya want me to go on the balcony?" 

You hesitated for a moment before nodding. "I don't usually love it, but why not for tonight?"

With a grin, Eddie continued on his ranting as he finished rolling. Lighting the blunt and taking a long drag when he finished his complaint. 

"Okay, but bad sex is more often than not, still enjoyable," you said, in response to his last comment. 

Eddie held out the blunt offering you to take a hit and while normally you’re pretty weary to cross fade, you were feeling adventurous as you grabbed it from his fingers taking a hit. 

"I get what you're saying, but nothing's been like, mind-blowing. I was getting head the other day, and I was literally counting the minutes until it was over. I think it would've been more enjoyable if I'd just taken care of myself." 

You let out a laugh, the smoke escaping in a light cloud. "You think counting maybe prolonged the experience a bit, bud?" Passing the blunt back to Eddie. 

"No, baby, the counting's what got me there." He smirked before taking another hit. 

You rolled your eyes playfully, but his words sparked thoughts of your own dissatisfaction.

The two of you sat there listening to the soft sounds of The Cure album you had on, as you took turns with the blunt. Eddie's gaze didn't leave you, his eyes focused on your lips - the movements of your mouth. The subtle way your lips parted and closed around the blunt had him entranced. 

You were too lost in your own thoughts to notice his staring. "I think this is one of those grass is greener situations. l'd take the bad sex. There's only so much I can satisfy myself, and sometimes I- well, I just want to get railed." The words slipped out before you could fully think them through but as soon as they did, you felt a rush of heat flood your cheeks.

Eddie's eyes widened slightly, a blush of his own creeping onto his face as he exhaled smoke. "Oh sure." You'd always been open about discussing sex, but this was a new level of candor for you and it caught him by surprise. It also made his cock twitch.  

You weren't sure what it was - the alcohol, the pot, the adrenaline from your embarrassment, - but Eddie's complaints mixed with your own dissatisfaction sparked an idea. You set your wine glass down, turned to face him, and criss-crossed your legs on the couch.

Passing what was left of the blunt back, you asked the question that's been on your mind for weeks.

”Eddie… are you attracted to me?" you asked, trying to keep your voice steady despite the flutter in your chest.

"What?" He asked as he put the blunt out.

"Eddie," you pressed. 

He chuckled, the sound a bit shaky. "Everyone thinks you're pretty, you know that."

"That's not what I asked," you countered. "I'm asking if you think I'm like, hot - not just pretty."

A smirk played on Eddie's lips as his eyes scanned over your figure, nodding. “Yeah, you’re hot,” he said, taking a sip of his beer and letting his eyes linger on how the soft fabric of your clothes hugged your chest. Truth be told, he thought you were fucking heaven sent. 

"So why haven't you made a move? I've been single for months." 

"You know me, baby. No attachments. Couldn't have you falling in love with me."

You scoffed. "Really, that's your excuse?"

His gaze met yours, a touch of defensiveness in his eyes. "It's not an excuse. It's just how I am. I don't hook up with friends, it can get messy." 

"Got it," you replied, considering letting it go, but curiosity had taken hold. "Do you ever fantasize about them, though?”

A wry smile appeared on his lips. "Depends on the friend, I guess.”

"Cut the shit, Munson.”

His smile grew. "Alright, yeah. A lot more than I probably should have.”

You leaned in closer, your voice dropping to an intimate whisper. "If it's any consolation, I've fantasized about you a fair bit too.”

"Oh, yeah?" he breathed, his voice huskier than before.

"Mmm-hmm." You shook your head slowly, maintaining eye contact. You noticed the way Eddie's eyes darted down to your lips and then back up to your eyes. 

"What about?" he asked.

"I could tell you," you whispered, "or I could show you.”

Eddie's laughter was shaky as he looked away, running his hand through his hair. "Tempting," he whispered, leaning back and trying to create some distance. His arousal, however, was unmistakable. 

The room fell silent. You could see the inner conflict in his eyes: the struggle between desire and his self imposed boundaries. The sight of Eddie's hard cock straining against his jeans had your pulse quickening more than the conversation had. You felt yourself growing wet, the heat between your thighs demanding attention.

"So even though it's clear we both want this, you're willing to just let it go because of some vague principle?" you asked, frustration tinging your voice.

Eddie's expression grew serious. "I wouldn't want to complicate our friendship just to get off.”

"And if I promised you it wouldn't complicate anything, that nothing would have to change - it would just be a good time?”

His breath hitched at your words, his eyes soaking in your presence. "Then... maybe I’d rethink some things."

You sighed, acknowledging his hesitation but also feeling the urgency of your own desire whether Eddie joined you or not.

“Well, you think about that,” you said, standing up and heading toward your bedroom. “You’re welcome to join me if you decide you’re in. If you decide to leave, the spare key is by the door. Just lock up and I’ll get it next time.” You closed the door behind you

Eddie sat on the couch contemplating for all of 5 minutes before his decision was made. Of course he wasn't going to let this moment pass him by. He stood up, his mind racing as he walked toward your room.   

When Eddie opened the door, he found you lying in bed, bathed in the amber glow of your lamp, only in your panties. You were lost in your own pleasure, hand moving beneath the fabric, eyes closed tight as breathy moans escaped your lips. 

"Fuck," Eddie muttered under his breath, his gaze locked on the scene before him. He froze, taking in every detail. The gentle, desperate movements of your fingers, the soft sway of your breasts, and the way your lips formed an O with every soft whimper. He was mesmerized.

He moved closer, cautious not to disrupt the moment. You whispered his name, soft and needy. "Eddie..."

The sound of your voice, so vulnerable and inviting, was nearly enough to push him over the edge. He groaned, a deep, guttural sound that came from the very core of his being. As he stood at the end of the bed, your eyes fluttered open, taking in his presence.

You kept your eyes locked on him, focusing on his face, the way his gaze was fixed on you.

Looking at you like this, made him feel as if he was witnessing the eighth wonder of the world. "What are you thinking of?" Eddie asked, needing to understand what was driving you.

"That this is your hand instead of mine, just like l've been imagining for weeks," you admitted, voice trembling slightly.

Eddie's breath hitched. "Can I see all of you?" he asked, desperation lacing his voice as he sat on the edge of the bed. 

You nodded, slowly sliding your panties down your legs and tossing them aside, revealing your glistening cunt. You returned your hand, teasing yourself gently. Eddie's eyes were fixed on you, the sight almost too much for him to bear, a low whimper escaping his lips.

"How would you touch me, if it were your fingers?" you asked, voice a seductive whisper.

Eddie slid up from his spot on the edge of the bed, closer to your side, as he began directing you on how he would pleasure you, eyes glued to your movements. "I'd start by gently tracing my fingers, just like you are now."

You whimpered as he continued his instructions, caught between the fantasy he was describing and the reality of your own touch. His guidance was driving you wild, but the need for his direct touch was growing unbearable. Breathlessly, you said, "Eddie, please."

“Tell me what you need,” he rasped, his eyes locked on yours. 

“Touch me,” you pleaded.

Eddie knew what you meant; you wanted him to replace your fingers - but he needed to kiss you and at the vague request for his touch he couldn't help but use that as his cue. He leaned in, his body hovering over yours, cupping your cheek and pulling you into a kiss. The kiss was rough, and raw as if years of restrained longing were unleashed in that heated moment. His lips were demanding, his tongue wrestled with yours, the taste of beer mixing with moscato. You bit his lip and Eddie’s groan was deep. 

His free hand found its way to your thigh, gripping it tightly, driving you further into your own touch. The intensity of his actions only heightened your pleasure. You gasped into his mouth as your climax hit. Eddie’s grip on your thigh never letting up as you clung to him, struggling to steady yourself through your orgasm. 

As the waves began to subside, you whispered raggedly, “I need you.”

Eddie trailed his hand from your thigh to your cunt, only for you to stop his hand. “No. I need more, I need you inside of me. Now.” 

Eddie groaned at your desperate plea for him to fill you. Without a word, he began undressing. His breathing was labored as he quickly removed his shirt, tossing it aside. He fumbled with his jeans, eager and clumsy in his haste to free his hard cock. When he finally did, you let out an audible gasp, taking in the sight of him. He was so fucking perfect.

“How do you want it, baby?” He asked, eager to give you anything you’d ask for. 

“What have you fantasized about?”

Eddie hesitated, “We don’t have to -”

“Tell me,” you demanded. 

“You, um, you’ve got great tits,” he all about moaned. “I think about you riding me a lot.”

The words were barely out of his mouth before you pushed him back to lean against the pillows, a sly smile on your lips. You reached for a condom from the nightstand, tearing open the wrapper with a quick, practiced motion, and rolled it over his throbbing cock. Eddie’s eyes followed your every move, sighing at your touch. 

With a deep, steadying breath, you positioned yourself above him. Your hands rested on the headboard while his hands gripped your thighs, his fingers digging in as he watched you. Slowly, you began to lower yourself, the initial contact making both of you gasp. The incredible stretch of his cock stung as you lowered yourself down inch by inch. It was almost overwhelming, but so perfectly pleasurable. Eddie’s eyes widened, his breath coming in quick, ragged bursts. 

“Fuck,” he said through gritted teeth. His hands tightened on your thighs, reminding you just how much he wants this.

You continued to sink down, savoring the sensation of being filled. Once fully seated, you paused to adjust, getting accustomed to his size. Eddie wasn’t the longest you’d ever had, but by no means was he small. Close to 7 inches if you had to guess. He was however, the thickest not by an absurd amount but enough to notice the  difference. He felt phenomenal. 

You began to move, lifting yourself slightly before sinking back down. The room began filling with the sound of your mingled moans. As you established a steady rhythm, Eddie’s moans grew more frequent, his grip sure to leave bruises. “Fuuuuuck,” he repeated, his voice rough with pleasure.

You shifted from leaning forward to putting your full weight on him, arching your back slightly as you moved your hands from the headboard to behind you, resting them on his thighs. In this position, you had better control and began to increase your pace.

“Aghh - just like that,” Eddie groaned. “Show me how much you want it." Eddie’s eyes were locked on you, taking in every detail - the bounce of your breasts, the flush on your cheeks, the intense pleasure on your face. You looked stunning.

He moved his hands to your breasts, groaning as he squeezed them gently. He adjusted himself so he was sitting up, his hands moving to roam over the rest of your body as he began kissing your skin. He started at your collarbone and moved along your chest until he reached your left breast. Kissing and nipping at the soft skin before enveloping your nipple into his mouth and sucking gently. You shuddered at the added stimulation, moving to rest your hands on his shoulder for better stability as he moved his mouth to your right nipple. 

You were finding it hard to keep quiet, biting your lip to stifle your moans as the combination of his mouth and the fullness of his cock drove you closer to ecstasy.

Eddie, however, was having none of that. Removing his mouth from you chest, “Don’t hold back," he rasped. "Let the whole fucking building know how good it feels to have my cock inside you.”

You let yourself moan freely, the sounds echoing in the room as you quickened your pace.

"Ooooohhh god,” you cried out as your orgasm began to build. 

You swirled your hips, adding a tantalizing motion that made Eddie mumble curses of pleasure. His hands moved to your hips, gripping firmly as he reclined against the pillows. You leaned forward with him, placing your arms on his chest for support as you rode him with increased intensity.

“Such a good girl,” Eddie said in awe, his eyes locked on you as you chased your orgasm. The praise spurred you on, and you let out a loud cry. Eddie’s lips curled into a wry smile as he watched you, clearly enjoying the effect his words had on you.

“You like that, huh?” he teased, his voice dripping with satisfaction.

You whimpered a feeble “yes,” your voice barely audible as you tried to keep up with the intense pleasure.

“Thought you might,” he chuckled. “Be the good girl that you are and cum for me,” Eddie instructed.

That was all it took. Your hips began to falter as your orgasm ripped through you, sending your body into a shuddering climax. Eddie’s groans of satisfaction grew louder as he watched you come undone on top of him. He gripped your hips tightly, taking over control and thrusting into you with a fierce rhythm, pushing you seamlessly into another orgasm.

As you came down, your body collapsed against Eddie's, still trembling from the aftermath of your third orgasm. Tears gathered at the corners of your eyes, the intensity of the pleasure overwhelming you. Eddie, sensing your exhaustion, slowed his thrusts, his hands gently tangling in your hair as he lifted your face to look at him.

“Shit Eds” you whispered, your voice barely audible. “I don’t know if I can come again.” 

Eddie’s lips curled into a mischievous smile, his eyes gleaming with determination. “Sure you can, baby. You haven’t even gotten what you wanted yet,” he said, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek before repositioning you both.

The sudden loss of him inside you made you whimper, the emptiness leaving you desperate to be filled again. Eddie lifted you, placing you on your knees, and then knelt behind you. His hands took hold of your hips, and he lined himself up with your entrance before thrusting into you with a forceful, deep motion. The immediate fullness made you moan, the new position allowing him to penetrate you more deeply and hit your g-spot perfectly with every thrust.

“Fuck, oh fuck,” you cried out, your voice raw with pleasure as he continued to thrust into you with a relentless rhythm.

“This is what you wanted, right baby? To get railed?” Eddie asked, his voice a deep, gravelly whisper. His hands squeezed the flesh of your ass as he drove into you.

“Yes!” you cried out. “Please Eddie, harder,” tears streaming down your face.  He responded by pounding into you just as you asked. 

Leaning forward, Eddie kissed the skin along your back, his teeth grazing your flesh with gentle bites, adding another layer of sensation. Your hands gripped the sheets tightly, knuckles white from the strain, as desperate cries of pleasure fell from your lips. His left hand slipped between your legs, fingers finding your clit and rubbing it frantically.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, don’t stop,” you moaned, your voice trembling with need. Eddie’s fingers worked your clit with determined precision, the added stimulation making it clear you were about to lose it.

As the pleasure built to its peak, you screamed his name, your body shaking uncontrollably as you came. Eddie’s grip on you tightened, his thrusts never faltering as he felt you clenching around him.

“There it is,” he moaned, his voice filled with satisfaction as he felt you coming undone. Your mascara ran down your cheeks in streaks, merging with your tears as you reached the height of your pleasure. Eddie continued to pound into you as your orgasm subsided, savoring the way you responded to him.

He was relentless, driven by his own need to reach his climax. He removed his hand from your clit,  gripping your hips firmly as he thrusted into you with increased force. “I want you to cum with me,” he growled.

You cried out, your voice filled with desperation. "I-I ahhh..." Your words were swallowed by your moans as Eddie kept thrusting. 

"You can do it," he encouraged, his voice low and steady. "I know you can."

Eddie's thrusts grew more intense, his rhythm never faltering as he drove you toward another climax. His hands gripped your hips tighter, his own breath coming in ragged bursts as he neared his release.

"Atta girl," Eddie growled. His thrusts grew sloppy, driven by the raw intensity of the moment. You clenched around him, surrendering to the pleasure as euphoria washed over you. The sensation was all -consuming, a final, powerful climax that left you gasping.

Eddie's own climax hit hard. He let out a string of moans, his body shuddering as it hit. His thrusts became erratic, his grip on your ass tightening as he rode out his release.

Eddie collapsed beside you, both of you breathing heavily, basking in the afterglow. The intensity of the night had left you feeling dizzy and euphoric, your body still tingling from multiple orgasms - five mind blowing orgasms, to be exact. The most you’d ever had with a partner before was three - and while still sensational it was nothing compared to this. Making it clear that Eddie Munson was the best fuck you’ve ever had.

As you started to come down, you glanced over at Eddie. He was staring at the ceiling, his face a mix of disbelief and deep thought. "Eddie, what's going on in that pretty head of yours?"

"Can I level with you?" he asked, his voice serious.

"Of course," you replied.

"It's pretty obvious that what we just had was too good to be a one-off," he said, his eyes meeting yours. "And it's not going to be easy to just go back like this never happened. I mean, I can't just pretend I don't know you've got a praise kink." He teased. 

"Eddie!" You laughed, giving him a playful nudge.

"I'm only half kidding. I clocked that shit when I tried to teach you guitar, this just confirmed it," he admitted with a grin.

You rolled your eyes, a smirk on your lips. “So, what's your point?"

He shifted, propping himself up on one elbow and looking at you seriously. “If you can handle keeping it casual, I think we should do this again.”

“Fucking hell, Munson didn't we address this on the couch? I wanted to fuck you, I'm not in love."

Eddie laughed. “Right, I know. But sometimes it can lead to that, and I just want to make sure you understand if we continue to hook up it will never be anything but physical. I can never offer you more, is that clear?" 

You grinned. “Crystal."

"So, friends with benefits?” He asked. 

You nodded, a smile tugging at your lips as your eyes locked with his. 

"It's a Sexually Explicit Kind of Love Affair" 

Two months had passed since you and Eddie established your friends-with-benefits arrangement, and you had both adhered to a set of rules: open communication, no exclusivity, and keeping things private. Your frequent hookups had become a thrilling part of your routine, each encounter more intense than the last, and quite a few that were unforgettable. 

Fucked You in the Bathroom When We Went to Dinner:  The two of you went to dinner with your friends to celebrate Vicky’s birthday. Amid the celebrations, you and Eddie shared knowing glances across the table and when the opportunity arose, you both slipped away, heading towards the restaurant's bathroom.

As soon as the door closed behind you, Eddie's hands were on you, pulling you close. He pressed your back against the wall, as his lips found yours in a rough kiss. His mouth began trailing along your jaw as you you reached down to unbuckle his belt. Eddie's pants were down around his knees, his hands hiking your dress up, growling when he saw you had no panties on. You lifted your leg, resting it on the sink, back still pressed to the wall as Eddie wasted no time before guiding himself into you. Your hands immediately threading through his hair as he sunk in. 

Eddie's thrusts were urgent and desperate. "Fuck, can’t get enough of you," Eddie gasped, his breath hot against your neck. 

You could only respond with a series of breathless moans. The pleasure building rapidly as Eddie's movements grew more intense. His hands gripped your hips firmly,  holding you in place as he drove into you. 

Your climax was approaching quickly, and you couldn't help but let out shrieks of pleasure. Eddie's hand reluctantly coming to cover your mouth to stifle the sounds. He loved hearing you, but not here. 

“Shh, baby. I know." He whispered feeling you beginning to clench around him. You bit the palm of his hand to stop the scream that was desperate to escape you as your climax hit. His thrusts growing erratic as he came with you, burying his face in your neck, his breaths coming in ragged gasps.

As you both caught your breath, you quickly adjusted your clothes, and you fixed Eddie's hair. You walked out first heading back to the table. Eddie arrived a few minutes later, drink in his hand as if he had been at bar the whole time, a satisfied smirk on his lips as he sat down.  

Knee Deep in the Passenger Seat: It'd been a lively evening out at the bar playing pool with Chrissy, Eddie and his bandmates. You were keenly aware of the effect your outfit was having on Eddie as you'd chosen a particularly short skirt that barely covered your lacy black panties if you moved too much. So each time you bent over to take a shot, your underwear was tantalizingly visible. 

As you lined up for another shot, Eddie approached, leaning in close.  To any onlookers it would seem like he was giving you a tip to make your shot. "You're such a fucking tease," he murmured, his breath warm against your ear.

You turned your head slightly, catching his eye with a sly grin. "I know, but you love it," you whispered back. 

Eddie's gaze was fixed on you as he walked back to his spot against the wall. As you knelt over the table to take your shot, a smirk tugged at your lips knowing he was clearly struggling to focus on anything other than the view you were providing. 

If Eddie could have had his way, he would have sunk to his knees right there and ate you out while you were bent over that pool table. But patience is a virtue. 

As you turned to face him after landing your shot, you knew he was trying to maintain his composure.

When it was time to leave, Eddie offered to take you home.  "Chris, I’ve got her. I pass her apartment on my way home anyway.” While that was true, you knew that wasn't his plan.

As you walked out, Eddie's eyes never left you, his gaze focused on the way your hips swayed with each step. When you reached the van, he opened the passenger door for you and you slid into the seat, feeling his intense gaze on you. 

As you settled in your seat, you looked at Eddie who was still standing next to you. A sly grin pulling at his lips, as he stepped in. You were confused until he knelt down on the floor in front of you, shutting the door. His expression one of eagerness.

With his hands now gripping your thighs, he pushed your skirt up, his fingers brushing against your skin. "I've been wanting to taste you all fucking night," he hummed, his voice low and filled with need. 

You looked down at him, a teasing smirk on your lips. "Aw look at you, did I tease you so much that you can't even wait?"

Eddie’s big doe eyes, looked a lot less innocent in this position, darkening at your words. Hunger written all over his face. 

In an instant he pulled your panties to the side, leaning forward so his head was nestled between your thighs. His tongue making contact with your bare slit, with a tantalizing slow lick. You gasped at the feeling. Eddie moaned against your pussy, "You taste so goddamn good,” his voice vibrating through your core. 

The moment his tongue touched your clit, he was relentless, alternating between licking and sucking. Your eyes rolling in the back of your head as he savored you. 

Within just a few short minutes you were a moaning mess, hands tangled in his hair, breath ragged, eyes screwed tight as you could feel yourself on the brink of your orgasm. Then suddenly, Eddie pulled away. Your release immediately ripped away from you. 

His face flushed and glistening with your essence, looked up at you with a smirk. “Look at that, I can be just as much of a tease as you," he rasped.

You whined at the loss of contact. "Please, Eddie.” 

“You’ll have to wait, baby.” He said, readjusting your underwear and skirt, wiping his mouth as he dipped out of the van and walked to the drivers side.

Truth be told, this was just as upsetting for him as it was for you. You were intoxicating and if he was being honest he’d love nothing more than to continue to devour your sweet cunt until you came all over his tongue - multiple times. But he thought it only fair that you feel the same strain that he had all night. He’d make it worth the wait when he got you to his trailer. 

You're on your knees, I'm on the case: You had the day off, so what better way than to spend it in Eddie's bed. When you arrived at his trailer, he answered the door shirtless, wearing only boxers with a towel draped over his shoulder.

"I'm about to shower," Eddie said, ushering you inside and closing the door behind you. "I'll be out soon. Feel free to watch TV, the remote's on the table."

As Eddie went to shower, you settled on his couch, finishing up the episode of Seinfeld that was on. After about ten minutes, you began to get restless.

You could hear the shower running, steam cascading into the hall because Eddie didn't shut the door completely. You made your way to the bathroom, knocking on the door to let him know you were there as you walked in. 

"Be out in a second, just gotta rinse my hair."

"Mind if I join ya instead?" 

There was a brief pause before he responded, a hint of amusement in his voice. "Sure, come on in."

You quickly undressed and slipped into the shower the steam enveloping you. You were facing Eddie as the water was cascading down his hair. Some droplets hitting your body, as Eddie glanced over you with a grin. 

You gave him a playful smirk before immediately dropping to your knees, positioning yourself in front of his hardening cock. Eddie's eyes locked onto you, filled with anticipation.

Without hesitation, you took him into your mouth, the warmth of the water mingling with the heat of your breath. Eddie's response was immediate. His breath hitched, at the feeling. "Ahhh," he grunted, his voice thick with pleasure. 

You began to move, sliding your lips up and down his length with practiced ease. Eddie's hands gripped the shower bar for support, his fingers tightening as he struggled to maintain his composure.

"Holy Shit," he gasped, his voice strained with pleasure. "You're so good, that feels so fucking good." 

You continued your rhythm, your mouth and tongue working him expertly. Eddie's groans grew louder, the pleasure clearly overwhelming him. "Oh god, yes," he panted, his hips thrusting gently to match your movements. 

The water continued to cascade around you both, mingling with the sounds of Eddie's pleasure as you pushed him closer to the edge. "Don't stop, baby" he urged, his voice breaking. "I'm gonna cum."

With a final, deep stroke, Eddie came hard. You kept your mouth on him, sucking every drop as he moaned and gasped, his hands gripping the shower wall for dear life bracing himself.

His face was flushed, a mix of steam and sweat glistening on his skin. He looked down at you with awe and satisfaction. "You're fucking amazing," he said, his voice barely a whisper.

You stood up, and Eddie cupped your face, capturing your lips in a heated kiss. As your mouths moved together ,his cock began hardening again, ready for round two in his room.

"I know, "Baby, No Attachment!"

As the months passed the frequency of your encounters with Eddie had evolved beyond merely getting off. At first you considered that it was just your friendship deepening, but as time went on, you couldn't help but feel that these interactions between you were teetering the line of something more. 

Eddie's band practices had effortlessly blended into your weekly routine. “Want to come to practice again?” he’d ask, flashing a grin. The first time he invited you, you joked about whether he had a fantasy of hooking up in Gareth’s garage or something. Eddie only laughed and said, “Nah, I just figured you might enjoy hearing us play and I thought it’d be nice to have you there.” Of course you went, and enjoyed every second of it, maybe even more than the shows. Seeing Eddie perform offstage, goof around with his bandmates, and brainstorm new arrangements was incredibly fun to witness.

By the third week into attending practice, Eddie offered another invitation. “Want to come with me to visit Wayne this Sunday?” he asked one afternoon. You hadn’t seen Wayne since he left Eddie the trailer, and although the invite surprised you, you agreed. Wayne’s warm hospitality was a delight, and seeing Eddie with his uncle gave you a new insight into his life - it felt special he shared it with you. 

You began noticing more changes in your own habits. Instead of going to social events alone, you often opted to ride with Eddie. Your weekend hookups had bloomed into near everyday occurrences, leading you to spend a lot more time at his trailer, as it offered much more privacy than your apartment - Eddie and you were rather loud. Eddie's loud anyway, but when he's inside you he doesn't shut up. Always talking you through it, telling you how good you're making him feel and he loves hearing what he does to you, so you never hold back. 

On more than a few occasions you’d accidentally fallen asleep over there, and eventually Eddie just began inviting you to stay the night in the first place. Gradually, your personal items like a toothbrush, a few changes of clothes, and your favorite books made their way over. You were there so often that it was shifting from a convenient arrangement to something that felt more like a shared space.

The boundaries you’d set were being tested, and it was becoming harder to maintain the pretense that this was purely physical. The line between attraction and emotional connection was blurring, and although Eddie had always insisted that this arrangement was meant to stay casual, his actions seemed to contradict that. In those soft moments with him, at practice or Wayne's, or when you were lying in his bed wrapped up in his arms after another incredible fuck, you found yourself dreaming of more and every time you did you'd think back to Matt's insistence that there was something between you and Eddie. Back then you thought it was Matt's jealously, eventually giving way that it was underlying attraction but now like this you can't help but think maybe there has always been more simmering between you both. 

You didn't dare say it though, you wanted to remain the “chill girl” who didn’t push. But the more time that passed the more you felt caught between holding your tongue and addressing the growing complexity of the situation.  

"It's fine, it's cool, you can say that we're nothing but you know the truth." 

The summer heat was beginning to wane as you and Eddie arrived at Steve’s Labor Day party. 

You were enjoying yourself, chatting with Nancy when you overheard a conversation nearby. Eddie was talking to Chrissy, who had just referred to you and he as a couple. 

“Oh, no, we’re not together,” Eddie said, a dismissive edge in his voice as he responded. The words hit you like a slap. You knew what you had signed up for, but it still stung, especially when the lines had been blurring for months. 

You attempted to shake it off, focusing on the friends around you. However, as the evening wore on, the frustration you felt was hard to ignore. Eddie’s behavior had been increasingly confusing. And this comment felt like the final straw - if your friends could see it, why couldn't he? 

When the party ended, Eddie drove you back to his trailer with Metallica blasting through the speakers. The music did little to ease the anger you were feeling. 

Once inside the trailer, Eddie reached out his hands gripping your waist, as his lips found yours. The kiss felt good, almost intoxicating, but your anger quickly reclaimed its hold as the words "we're not together" echoed in your mind.

You pulled back, needing a moment to regain your composure. Eddie’s eyes searched yours, confusion in his gaze. “What’s wrong, baby?” he asked softly.

"I'm not really feeling it right now,” you said firmly, pulling away from his touch. "I think I'm going to head home actually." 

Eddie’s face fell for a moment before a small smile played at his lips. "You don't need to go, stay the night. We can watch a movie."

A few months ago, this invitation would have felt like a friendly gesture. After all, the beauty of a ‘friends with benefits’ arrangement is that it starts with a foundation of friendship. But tonight it was just a bitter reminder of how these nights have morphed into something much more complex. At the start of your arrangement, movie nights often transitioned from watching the film to fucking until the credits rolled. This felt natural, expected. But now the dynamic of movie nights has grown significantly more intimate; cuddling on the couch, Eddie softly playing with your hair, and gentle kisses between scenes. All gestures that are only typical in, well - relationships. You've had enough. 

"Eddie, are you being avoidant or are you truly oblivious to what's going on?" 

Eddie’s brow furrowed. “Wait, what? What are you talking about?"

"Us. This," you said, gesturing between the two of you. "It feels different, and it has for a while now." You took a deep breath, struggling to steady your voice. "Eddie, even our friends notice it."

"This is about Chrissy's comment?" he asked, annoyance seeping into his voice.

"You were so quick to dismiss it."

"We're not a couple, so that probably has something to do with it," he said, with a laugh, his irritation evident. "What was I supposed to say?"

You gave him a short nod, as you began to gather your things. "It's not even about what you said, it's about what you're not saying." 

The frustration was evident on Eddie's face. "I thought we were both on the same page about this," he said, following you.

"Dammit, Eddie," you turned towards him, your voice rising. "We were, but it’s hard to feel like we’re still casual when my favorite bra lives in your dresser!"

Eddie’s expression shifted, a flicker of guilt crossing his face, but he still held his ground. "From the start, I told you I don’t do relationships. I never promised you anything more than what we agreed on."

You scoffed. “I know, and that’s exactly why I’ve kept my mouth shut for so long. But you’ve pulled me into every aspect of your life, and it’s not the same anymore. If you weren’t so hung up on that concept, maybe you’d admit what you’re feeling.”

“Don’t," he said sternly. "Don't try and make me out to be the bad guy because you couldn't keep your own feelings in check.”

His words felt like a punch in your gut. You could feel the lump take perch in throat, trying to swallow it back but the tears were coming. 

Eddie’s expression softened as he noticed your your eyes glistening. He watched helplessly as you continued to pack, his frustration morphing into anguish as tears streamed down your face. "Wait,” he pleaded. "Let's talk, we can take a step back."

Your hands shook as you stuffed your clothes into your bag, sobs coming in ragged, painful gasps. “A step? We'd have to take twenty." you choked out, your voice breaking. 

Eddie looked away, struggling to reconcile your pain with his own fears. "I just, I'm sorry I confused you. I didn’t mean to give you the wrong idea."

"Maybe you didn't intend for things to change, but they did. We both let them. I did because I liked it, why did you Eddie?" 

His stomach twisted at your words.

 “Every rule we set, you broke," you continued, bitterness lacing your voice. "It was all ‘let’s keep it discreet’ until you kissed me between songs at practice. What the fuck was that?! ‘We need open communication,’ but you never talked about any line we crossed." Your voice rose despite your sobs. "For fucks's sake Eddie, we haven't been exclusive yet for six months, you’ve called after me! Going as far as turning down others because you want me in your bed. Whether we fuck or we don't."

Eddie stood still, motionless, as the weight of your words sunk in.

"You can try to downplay this all you want, but deep down you know. And it's why your past hookups could never satisfy you the way I do.” Tears streamed down your face as you glared at Eddie.

He just stood there, hit with the reality of your words. The silence grew heavy as he struggled to find a response.

"I don't know what you want me to say. I can’t just flip a switch and become something I’m not. I made my stance clear from the beginning." His voice wavering as he spoke. 

You shook your head in disappointment. "Got it." Your tears fell harder, and Eddie’s own eyes were on the verge of tears as he watched you zip up your bag.

“Baby,” he started, his voice trembling as he reached out a hand towards you. 

“Don’t, Eddie,” you scolded, your voice a harsh whisper. “You don't wanna call it love, fine. But it's done." 

Eddie’s face twisted in confusion and frustration as you finished speaking. He seemed to get only a fraction of what you were saying. "Okay, okay," he said, his voice cracking with desperation. "We'll just go back to how it was before. I mean, we can just forget about all this..." 

"You're not getting it, Eds" you replied, your voice steady despite the tears. "I can’t be your friend.” 

Eddie’s face contorted with panic. "No, don’t say that," he pleaded, his voice trembling. "I’m sorry I led you on. We can go back - just like it was. We can fix this." Tears welling up as he tries to grasp what you're saying. 

"Eddie, it wasn't just that. This whole thing between us has made me realize that maybe… maybe I had feelings for you long before we hooked up."

Eddie's face pales, his panic escalating as he tries to comprehend what you're saying. "What the fuck is happening right now?" he says, his voice rising in distress. He collapses onto the couch, his body shaking as the gravity of the situation hits him full force.

"Before we, before this, you said you didn't," he mutters, almost to himself, as he tries to reconcile your words with his memories. 

"I didn’t realize it then," you admit, your voice breaking. 

Eddie’s face was wet with his own tears now, his hands trembling as he held his face, taking in your words.  

"I never would’ve let anyone else call me a nickname I hated. Anyone else’s persistence would’ve been stopped but it just sounded so pretty coming from your mouth..." Your voice was choked with emotion. “And I think being honest with myself about that, along with everything we’ve been doing... I've realized that maybe I was  being a fool to think it was ever just attraction."

Eddie breaks down, his tears flowing freely. "Goddammit" he chokes out, his voice thick with regret.  “I can't-"

You cut him off knowing what he was going to say. "I know Eds, you've made it clear," your voiced cracked sobs breaking through the words. "You were right to worry this would get messy, I'm sorry I told you I could handle it." You took a deep breath and looked at him one last time, the ache in your chest almost unbearable. You slung your bag over your shoulder, heading for the door.  "I'd probably do it again though." You whispered. 

"I don't want to lose you,” he said, his voice wavering as he tried to hold back his emotions.

You paused, your heart aching with the weight of his words. "I have to go," you said finally. With one final glance at Eddie, you turned and walked out of the trailer.

“You just need a better life than this / You need somethin' I can never give”

Eddie’s tears fell uncontrollably as you left.  Watching you walk away was like a rift tearing through time and space, an unbearable ache that pierced his soul. 

His mind spiraled in a loop, like a broken record that kept repeating the same line: It was a mistake. He knew better, he knew better than to get involved with you, but he had, and now you were gone. Eddie had wanted to believe that you could handle something casual, he risked it because he had an insatiable hunger that only you had satiated. His own denial ran so deep he hadn’t even fully accepted the magnitude of what was happening between the two of you until your words hit him like a freight train tonight. But as Eddie sat there, drenched in regret, his mind wandered to all things you. 

Eddie had always been branded the freak for being a little outside the box, and while he stayed true to himself it was always a bit toned down when he met new people. However when he met you, he knew he didn't have to do that.  While you could fit neatly into the box, you didn't care to. Eddie was instantly captivated by you, and it wasn't just because you were stunning - it was your wit, and charm that pulled him in. 

He could never forget the first day he realized he wanted to kiss you. It was one of the early times you hung out - that night you were complaining about "Dirty Dancing." You just kept rambling - so comically irritated, he found it hilarious and he wanted to just shut you up with his lips. He couldn't help himself coining, "Baby" for you. It had felt right rolling off his tongue, and even though you shot him an annoyed look, he could’ve sworn he saw a hint of a smile. Eddie then proceeded to try and get you to reenact the lift scene from the movie, but you refused with a firm “Fuck no, Munson.” Robin wouldn't either, but Steve, high as a kite, agreed. Of course it ended with them flat on the floor and the four of you laughing your asses off. For whatever reason that night marked a turning point for your friendship - the two of you began spending time together outside of your shared circle. It was always a little touchy, a little flirty and Eddie was constantly having to push the urge to kiss you outside of his mind. 

Steve was always trying to persuade Eddie to just go for it, but Eddie wasn’t interested. He typically only hooked up with the same person three times - if ever more than once. He feared that if he ever got involved with you he wouldn’t be able to go back, and commitment was something he wasn't into. Fast forward three years and nothing's changed. Still, one night around two years ago he nearly let his guard down. 

A group of you had gathered at a nearby bar before Corroded Coffin’s first paid show at The Hideout.

“Let me buy a round for you guys, a little liquid courage before tonight!" you insisted. Gareth joked that it wasn't necessary when they had Eddie's good luck charm - You. “Is that why you keep me around, Munson?” you teased, planting a playful kiss on his cheek. “For a little extra luck,” you said with a wink and a smile before heading to the bar. In that moment, Eddie was certain he had to kiss you. 

When you returned with a round of tequila shots, your cheeks flushed and your smile bright, you explained that the handsome guy at the bar; Matt - asked you out and then proceeded to buy the round of shots for you when you'd said yes.

As Jeff raised his shot and toasted, "To Matt!" Eddie looked at you, realizing that it was better this way. It would have been foolish to kiss you. You deserved someone who could offer you more. 

Eddie’s mind whirled, jumping from that almost kiss to the fateful night on your couch. He should've went home because from that moment everything changed. You were sensational, the way your body responded to him, the way you sounded, the way you made him feel. He was right to know himself, that after a taste, he would never want to go without. He was selfish for this.

The past 6 months together Eddie had recognized little shifts, but he'd ignored them. Looking back it was probably June when things first began to change from the raw thrill of a good time to something that hinted at a little more intimacy. Your presence had turned his bed into a sacred oasis, where he felt truly seen and understood. The laughter, the warmth, the touch - it was all part of a connection he cherished. Yet, every time it felt like it was too much, he would push it out his head, trying to drown out the truth that he felt something more. Even if he wanted to risk all for you, he couldn’t. He wasn’t good enough to make you his.

This painful realization was a truth he had to face. His fear of inadequacy and his belief that he couldn’t sustain a meaningful relationship had driven a wedge between you. And now, with you gone, he was left grappling with the reality that he had pushed away the one person who had made him question his own defenses. Sitting on his couch, a headache pounding from his tears, he tried to sleep, searching for some sort of peace.

In the weeks that followed, Eddie rarely visited his bedroom. It was a space tainted by your absence. His home felt hollow, so he picked up extra shifts at the diner, and crashed at Gareth’s when he could. He thought about reaching out to you, admitting you were right, that he loved you too, but he knew it wouldn’t change a fucking thing. He still couldn’t give you what you wanted. He wasn’t ready for a relationship, not when he didn’t believe he was enough.

You deserved the best, and Eddie didn’t think he was that. He was still  a pot dealer,  bussing tables to make ends meet and for some free food, just dreaming of a future with his band...

Eddie had been so absorbed in the band that he had drifted from the usual social circle. The only time he’d seen Steve and Robin since your departure was after one of his show the last weekend in September. They had approached him, and Eddie, looking weary and regretful, had apologized for not being around much. He wanted desperately to ask about you - God, he did - but he struggled to find the right words.

When Steve and Robin happened to mention they hadn’t heard from you either, Eddie’s heart sank. You were probably avoiding them, likely to keep from running into him. Steve, with a knowing look, asked if the two of you had gotten involved. Eddie gave a brief, vague answer that painted a picture of your arrangement without exposing too much. 

“Maybe try reaching out to her though.” He suggested. 

 Robin nodded solemnly. “Of course,” she replied, understanding the complexity of the situation without needing more.

The days blurred into weeks as Eddie threw himself into his band, trying to escape the gnawing emptiness and the haunting memory of you. Each gig was an  escape, but it never lasted. The real struggle was coming home to an empty space, a home without the one person who had made everything feel right. 

“Back when we were still changin' for the better / Wanting was enough / For me, it was enough" 

It was the kind of night that makes you want to crawl into bed and pull the covers over your head, except you weren’t in bed. You were behind the wheel of your car, heading home after leaving the man that you loved. 

As the tears flowed freely, your mind drifted to the most serious relationships you’d had. Your college boyfriend, your relationship with Matt - both seemed like mere practice compared to what you shared with Eddie. He wasn’t just the best fuck you’d ever had, he was the best person you’d ever known. The thought of never being around him again was agonizing.

Returning to your apartment felt like a warm welcome from an old friend. You had spent nearly all of August entwined in Eddie’s bedsheets, living for the hope that maybe, just maybe, you could have a future together. You uncorked a fresh bottle of Riesling, not even bothering with a glass as you tried to drown out the fact that Eddie was never truly yours.

Weeks after leaving Eddie, the silence was deafening. The ache of not hearing from him, of not knowing how he was, ate at you incessantly. You knew that this was your choice, yet you'd expected some sign - any sign - that he was still there, still thinking of you.

You threw yourself into work, hoping that staying busy would numb the pain. But this came at a price - you isolated yourself from your friends, avoided their calls, and shut yourself off from the world that might remind you of Eddie. When Robin buzzed your intercom one evening, her arrival was a welcome disruption to your self-imposed exile. She stood at your door with pizza and ice cream in hand, a silent understanding in her eyes.

"Hey," she said softly, a warm smile breaking through her concern. "I thought you could use some company."

You invited her in, your heart heavy as you tried to muster a smile. You sat in your living room, as you finally let your emotions spill out. 

Between sobs, you managed to ask, "How is he?"

Robin took a deep breath, clearly choosing her words carefully. "He hasn't been around either, but Steve and I saw him last weekend, he's been busy with the band. They're doing really well - they’re working hard to catch the eye of an A&R rep to help develop them. When we told him we hadn’t heard from you, he briefly explained why that might be, and not that I wouldn't have anyway - but he was one that suggested this." 

He had thought of you. That was enough to make you break down again. Robin wrapped her arms around you.

“It’s okay," she whispered.

Robin comforted you the rest of the night. Reassuring you that in time it will get better. As Robin was on her way out you told her that while you missed everyone it was just too hard right now, and you needed more time. 

She nodded, understanding. "We’ll be here whenever you’re ready."

As she left, you felt hope amidst the sadness. But even with that hope, you found it difficult to move forward. You almost mustered the courage to attend Jonathan and Nancy’s Halloween party, but after getting dressed, you couldn’t bring yourself to go. A week later, you had plans for lunch with Steve and Chrissy but the nausea of confronting your emotions kept you from following through. It was still too soon to be around the people who reminded you of Eddie, so you stayed away, in your cocoon of sorrow, hoping that someday the pain would ease enough to allow you to step back into your life.

“And from the outside / It looks like you're tryin' lives on / I miss the old ways / You didn't have to change/ But I guess I don't have a say / Now that we don't talk"

It was the second week of November, and you’d decided to go out for drinks with some colleagues. You were at a bar you’d never been to before, located on the other side of town - quite far from the usual spots you and your friends frequented. With the slim chance of running into anyone you knew, you let your guard down and enjoyed the evening. 

You were so engrossed in your conversation that you almost missed it. At first, you thought you’d imagined it, but then you heard it again. Your stomach dropped, and a wave of heat washed over you as you recognized Eddie’s unmistakable voice. Looking around, it was Gareth you spotted first, and as you looked for Eddie, your heart sank. He looked drastically different - his once long hair was now a buzz cut, cigarette hanging out of his mouth, while dressed in a navy striped button-down. His signature leather jacket draped over the back of his chair the only remnant of the man you remembered.

Despite your attempts to refocus on your colleagues, your attention kept drifting back to Eddie and the band. They were celebrating with a round of shots, and you wondered if they were marking a milestone. Since the round of drinks you’d suggested for their first paid gig, you knew they had a tradition of celebrating this way. Your heart sank as you overheard Eddie’s toast: the local station had agreed to start playing their music, and they were promised a small tour around neighboring states in the new year.

Watching the band’s journey over the past three years -  early gigs at house shows to paid gigs at dive bars - you knew you had to say something, not just to Eddie but to all of them. You were proud of their progress, and after witnessing their hard work at countless practices this year, it felt right to acknowledge their accomplishments. You couldn't deny that it almost felt kismet, that you were here tonight.

As your coworkers began wrapping up their night, you excused yourself. You made your way over to the band’s table, your heart racing. As you approached their table, Gareth’s eyes lit up as he saw you.

“Well, look who it is!” Gareth exclaimed.

Eddie turned, his smile dropped as he took in your presence. 

“Of all the gin joints, you walk into the one I’m in?” you joked, attempting to ease the awkwardness. The band chuckled, and you continued, “I couldn’t help but overhear you guys. I just wanted to come over and say congratulations. I know how hard you’ve all worked.”

The band echoed their gratitude before Gareth suggested you join them. A sudden, overwhelming discomfort gripped you. This was a mistake. Every lingering feeling you had for Eddie was rushing back, and you found yourself struggling to maintain composure. "Oh thank you, but I need to get home” you say, attempting to mask the unease. “But I’m really happy for you all.”

As you start to walk away, Eddie rose from his seat. “Baby, wait" he called out. 

There it was, the nickname only he called you. The one you'd been aching to hear.

You stopped, turning slightly to face him as he reached you. "I um, just wanted to say, thanks for that. I really appreciated you coming to to the table.” 

"Of course." you say softly.

His eyes roam over your figure as he takes in the way your dress fits, and a low, almost involuntary groan escapes him. “Wow, that dress, you.. you look incredible." 

You give him a thankful nod. It hurt you to hear him say that, knowing you'd bought this dress months ago solely with the intention of him taking it off.

"Me? Look at you, you look so.... I don't know. Refined, maybe?"

Eddie raises an eyebrow. “Is that good or…?” 

"Oh y'know you always look good," you reply, trying to keep your voice steady. "But I’d be lying if said the hair didn’t shock me a bit at first,” you admit.

Eddie’s eyes soften, and he responds with a chuckle. “It’s weird for me, still. I haven’t had a buzz cut since middle school. But I just needed... a change.” His words hit you harder than expected, and you feel tears prickling at the corners of your eyes.

You nod, unable to hide your emotion.

He smiles, though it’s tinged with sadness. “I want you to know I thought about reaching out but I wasn't sure...." he trailed off. 

You nodded again, acknowledging the sentiment, a small smile on your lips as you try to swallow the lump forming in your throat. “I really should go, but I am truly so proud of you, Eddie,” you said, your voice wavering. “Ever since I met you, I’ve seen how hard you’ve worked for what you want and I'm so happy that it's paying off."  

The words seemed to break something in him. Instinctively he reached out, wrapping his arms around you, pulling you against his chest. “I’ve missed you,” he breathed into your hair.

You hugged him tightly, tears rolling down your cheeks. “I’ve missed you too,” you whispered back, feeling the warmth and comfort of his embrace. For a moment, it felt like time had stopped, and you wished you could stay there forever. But as much as you wanted to linger, you knew you had to go. You slowly pulled away, forcing a smile through the tears. “I'm really glad I got to see you,” you said softly. 

Eddie looks at you, his gaze lingering as if he’s on the verge of saying something more, but he simply nods. “Me too,” he says quietly. 

“And I’d give up forever to touch you / ‘cause I know that you feel me somehow / you’re the closest to heaven that I’ll ever be / and I don’t want to go home right now”

The ride home felt like déjà vu. Another teary-eyed drive to your apartment after walking away from the man you loved.

Once you were home, you sank into the couch. Wrapped in a blanket, tears streamed down your face as The Smiths' The Queen Is Dead album played on the record player. For the 17th of November, the weather was a bit of a mess. It honestly felt poetic, the thunderstorm mirroring the emotions you were feeling. Every crack of thunder echoed your sobs.

About an hour into your pity party, you were starting to regain some composure when the buzz of the intercom startled you. You figured it was your neighbor, who often used the wrong buzzer, so you hit the button to let them in. Just as you were about to lay back in your spot on the couch, you heard a knock at your apartment door. Curious and a bit irritated, you peered through the peephole and froze. It was Eddie, drenched from the rain, with tears streaming down his face. Your heart raced as you swung the door open, and he walked in, shutting the door behind him.

"Eddie, what-" Before you could utter another word, he started rambling.

“What are the fucking odds you’d be at that bar tonight?” he began, his voice breaking. “On a night that was supposed to be a highlight in my life, all I wanted was to share it with you.” His words came out in fractured gasps, his tears mixing with the rain on his face.

“When you said I fought for everything I wanted, it felt like a knife twisting in my chest... because it’s a lie when I let you leave.” His voice cracked, and he struggled to steady himself.

“I should’ve told you this at the bar,” he choked, his tears falling harder now. “It felt like fucking fate that you were there tonight, and I still let you walk away. Again. I'm so sorry for the way things turned out. I should've fought for us. I should've fought for you. I let you go because I couldn’t admit I loved you. Even though you knew - of course fucking you knew - because you see me, all of me. And you’ve loved me through it, even when I didn’t think it was possible.” He buried his face in his hands, wiping his tears and catching his breath.

“I was convinced I wasn’t enough for you,” he continued. “But you wanted me all the same. I’m so sorry, I should’ve called you weeks ago. I’m sorry for being scared I couldn't be what you deserve, but every day without you has been fucking hell.” His breaths came in jagged, broken waves. “I thought I could move on... but the goddamn world would have to stop before I could ever stop feeling this for you... It’s always been you.”

“Eddie,” you breathed.

Eddie stepped forward, his hands cupping your face. “I'm still not sure if I'm the man you deserve, but I'd like to try if you’ll have me.”

You nodded at his words, tears streaming down your face. Leaning in, you pressed your lips to his in a kiss that began tenderly but quickly deepened, fueled by a desperate need to reconnect and erase the distance that had come between you. Your moans mingled as your tongues met, and Eddie's hands tangled in your hair. When you finally pulled apart, both of you breathless, you rested your foreheads together.

“I love you, Eddie Munson,” you whispered.

“I love you so fucking much, baby,” he murmured, placing a kiss on your forehead.

[sthavoc]

A Latina singer who does sings in English and Spanish who's actually very famous who has been dating Enzo for years but people are just now finding out and putting it together. People now realizing there's been so many sightings of them together or him at her shows.

🎤« 𝐀𝐍 𝐈𝐑𝐎𝐍 𝐌𝐀𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐍 𝐓-𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐓 | ENZO VOGRINCIC

𖥔 ࣪˖ pairing: enzo x latina!singer!fem!reader

𖥔 ࣪˖ summary: enzo and you have been dating for the past 3 years. nobody knew you guys were a thing but after reaching his peek after the drop of Society of the Snow, fans begin to piece pieces together.

𖥔 ࣪˖ warnings: only fluff I believe

𖥔 ࣪˖ note: I love this idea!! did this in headcanons. I hope you enjoy this anon and everyone<3 for the sake of the fic i’ll say she wrote some of the songs but all credit goes to its respective well talented owners.

☆ You and Enzo had met at a cafe. A classic frankly. The thing was that you had a concert in the city and Enzo was just visiting. The two of you hit it off well.

☆ You weren’t sure if to feel surprised or not at the fact that he didn’t know who you were at first. But later he told you he didn’t know much about famous people so that fairly made you understand. In some way, it also made you feel better at the fact that he wasn’t dating you because of your fame but because of the kind of person you were.

☆ If the man had the opportunity, he would go to your concerts. He would even take pictures of your fabulous outfits and of the whole arena filled with fans. It was as if you had your very own photographer.

☆ You would write him songs. There was no denying it, and he would know. One of his personal favorites was Lover. When you wrote it, both of you had just turned one year. To you, it felt like you had been dating that man for years instead of one. You were in love, and the fans knew it.

☆ Your favorite song for him was Disfruto. Not only because it was in Spanish but because that was your way of expressing that you would do anything for Enzo to feel safe with you. Never let him down since he is the one you want to grow old with and spend every important moment with.

☆ Later on, fans began to spot Enzo in your concerts. The thing was that in most of your shows, he wore hats, and due to the dimness of the light you wouldn’t be able to see much from his complexion, only his apparel. They would ask themselves. Who is that guy? However, overall they were happy for you.

☆ When the movie dropped, everyone was going insane with Enzo. That also entirely complicated how the two of you would have your relationship established now. Your fans knew you had been dating someone, and you somehow managed to keep the man a secret. But did you?

☆ When Enzo got his fans, and his media only grew bigger, a lot of pictures were revealed on the internet. Some of them would be from the movie, with the boys, from previous years, him as a teenager. There were specific ones of him with an Iron Maiden shirt. For some reason, the fans recognized the shirt.

“I swear I’ve seen that shirt on before him before.” They would say.

When they also went into one of his highlights out of curiosity and found a picture he had taken at one of your concerts. At first, they assumed he was a fan of you, but later when videos of the mysterious man at your concerts started to pop up again was when they began to question. Since some of the shirts Enzo would wear, he would have pictures with them. But fans still wouldn't be sure.

☆ Until there was a picture. You had posted a picture years ago of Enzo but you couldn’t see his face completely. Only a tad bit of his eye and nose. He laid on your legs as he napped, while your hand rested on his cheek. It almost covered most of his face, and he wore the Iron Maiden t-shirt. You had taken that picture down but of course, screenshots exist.

☆ Fans were jolted by the image and asked when that picture was taken. Everyone was saying that the picture was from 2 years prior, and that was when they started to connect everything thoroughly. That Enzo was the mysterious man in your concerts and the picture he had taken of the arena was just him being supportive. And that from that very picture was where they recognized the shirt from.

“YOU GUYS that was Enzo all along!”

“you’re telling me we’ve seen this man even before he reached his fame???”

☆ Enzo and you had gone public officially, after a month since the two of realized the fans already knew. You would go on dinner dates, breakfast, and brunch. And of course, if he had time in his schedule, he would still be there at your concerts. Videos of him would be on the internet the next day. With his camera resting on the strap around his neck and a huge smile carved on his lips with the glint of love in his eyes.

“Guys, look at Enzo being the best supportive boyfriend he is.”

[heartfullofleeches]

Yan Clown/Circus + Imaginary Friend Darling Blurb

Throughout life, friends come and go, but you - were always the first.

Things were simple in the beginning. Sit with that lonely kid at the playground, wipe their face with your sleeves, and ask if they wanted to be friends. They always said yes. You were inseparable. Playing until streetlights came on plus a seat saved for you at the dinner table when they reluctantly returned home. The biggest fears you faced where the monsters under the bed and the dark... then came school, homework, the future. Your playdates became so far and few, they put in the efforts to make new friends and you were so happy for them.

"Y/n? Who's that? Quit talking to yourself and come hang out with us."

But none of them ever wanted to be yours. Your friend was never home anymore and when they were it was always school work or video games taking their attention. Your place at the table was given to someone else. They'd gradually drift away from speaking to you and it was like you never existed in the first place to them, and maybe you never did - so you left. Back to that empty that existed before it all. There, you remembered all your friends. All your precious memories and the treasures they gave you their parents questioned them about when they disappeared. You hated it there. You didn't want to reminisce on the good times - it only lead to wordless goodbyes. Why - why did they always leave you behind?

"I got invited to a slumber party this weekend... Everyone turned out to be so nice once I gave them a chance like you told me to.... You'll... always be my best friend, but I have real ones now. I'm not a kid anymore - and I can't live in a fantasy world forever."

Of course you always knew - but did your time together really mean nothing? The smiles and tears, joys and fears - were those fake too? This was how life for you went and has gone your entire path. Make a new friend, wait for them to make their own, force yourself to forget, and repeat. You never, ever blamed them for abandoning you. It was your biggest dream to see your friends go out in the world and do all the things you rambled about for hours - you just wished you could've been their when they made their dreams come true. If they could make those fantasies reality, why couldn't you be real too them? It's not fair-

"Hey! You gonna put your raspberry in the square yet? I don't mind waiting cuz you're really cute - but I've eaten most of the blueberries already and if I eat one more I won't have enough for a win."

A new friend - you kept them waiting, lost in your thoughts like that. There's something different about this one... They're a lot bigger than your old friends and dress strange just like those funny people in shows. How old are they?

"28..... Is my favorite number because that's how many waffles I can eat before throwing up. I dunno my age really, I like a lot of candles on my pie so it's hard to remember. I'm probably waaaaaay older - or younger, but I'm definitely not younger than eighteen because I get a new doll every year - and there's a ton. Hey, when's your birthday so we can get your collection started?"

An adult - An adult can see you, but why?

"Hmmm, I dunno how you got in here either. I was just thinking about how great it would be to have someone to eat all these waffles with since I made 29 today - and poof you appeared outta nowhere. You gotta so me that trick eventually - wanna be pals? I'll give you... a quarter, no- half the stack if ya stick around. My name's Gus. Gus the clown."

A clown... Alot of your friends loved those, others were terrified. This one reminded you alot of them. So silly and carefree, just like they always were before reality kicked in. It was never that way for Gus. You'll never forget the shocked look on their face when you told them chocolate milk didn't come from brown cows. They serenaded you with songs detailing your adventures together and nearly had a heart attack when you played peekaboo together which they later tried to play off as good acting - the tear smudges in their paint was just from hot how was is.

At the same time, Gus was far more mature they let on. They fantasized about finding the missing piece to their act and heart, and hopefully marrying that special someone someday. They were all smiles - but as soon as someone got hurt they knew when to drop the act and when to use it to their advantage. You prayed the day they found someone they wouldn't ditch you like everyone else.

It turned out there were a lot more like Gus. True to their status as a performer, they worked and lived in a traveling circus with others who were accepting of you - and had the eyes to see you. They never doubted your existence like parents used to and believed near ever word Gus said even when at the point in time you were nothing more than the ramblings of a mad-clown, and greeted you in kind. Overtime, you became corporal for these performers too and the brief hellos turned to bear hugs thrust upon dolls Gus' sibling made for everyone to have when they wanted sat hello. They still couldn't touch you, but for the first time everyone knew you were their and love you the same, if not more than the friend you came for. Sometimes it really did feel like you were a real person. If only....

"Ouch!"

You pull your hand away from Gus' as the clown bursts into a fit of giggles - yelping in pain as they clap their hands together, electrocuting themselves on the buzzer.

Whoo! That definitely sends a shock through ya. Can't believe that got you. Hey - that got you... you've never been hurt by any of the things we've done before."

They're right. That really did hurt. Wait. It hurt. You've never been able to interact with anything before - leaving Gus overwhelmed on brunch dates when they devoured your share. What's going on?

Gus expresses the confusion you're both feeling with a high-pitched scream. They dart around the room, nabbing their emergency supplies of candy from beneath their pillow. "Ahhhh, idea - Y/n, try one of these - hurry!"

You take one of the licorice sticks and shove it in your mouth. If picked up the treat wasn't proof enough, the explosion of flavor on your tongue confirmed your theories.

"It's...good."

Gus races in a circles, squeeling in delight as they grab and pinch your plush - warm cheeks. "They've never been warm before! This is amazing. Ahhh, next test- here goes!"

Shutting their eyes, Gus rams their lips against yours - grinning with teeth against your skin. They kiss your lips, cheeks, and noses - smothering you with a hug, soaking up the beat of your speeding heart.

"You have no idea long I've wanted to do that...."

You're still reeling from everything going on. "W-what's happening, Gus?"

"No clue! If you want my guess, I'd say so many people believing in you made you real like that one movie with the puppet. The others! Oh, man everyone's gonna love this! Come on!"

Gus picks you up and sprints to the main show room. They gather everyone into the area along with the biggest mirror they could find. They try to explain, but the excitement gets the better of them. Frustrated by everyone's agreeable questions - they rip off the blanket covering the mirror and your reflection, and the crowd goes wild.

"That wasn't there before! Can we touch Y/n now???"

"I call dibs on giving them their first piggyback ride!"

"Wonderful timing! I knitted you a lovely scarf before I forgot you technically were a figment of our combined imaginations."

"If they're really here and can touch stuff... They can be part of the show - can't they?"

Thats right. You'd fit right in with your history too. After a celebratory dinner and cuddle session - the preparations for your big debut were made. As expected, everyone loved you. You and Gus were the starting act, and two halves of the same whole. People saw you, they praised you, loved you. The adoration of the crowd was like no other, but everything after the curtains were closed was even better. Gus kept to their promise of never leaving you behind. You were that missing piece - someone they couldn't live without. It was time for you to finally grow up and leave the ghosts of the past where they lied.

"Aw, don't be like that, sweetie. You'll love it once we get there."

This is bullshit. Their college gradation and their folks were dragging them to some circus. Luckily they had a few buds pull through for an aftershow at a nearby bat.

"Maybe your opinion will change when you see the staring act. That clown reminds me a lot of that friend you used to go on about. What was their name again? I think it was -"

Y/n. Your name and smiling face were plastered on a billboard they passed. It was no vague resemblance - that was their first companion down to the scrunchie you wore around your wrist that they gave you on the day they gave you the lukewarm mercy of a goodbye. It couldn't really be you - right?

"Look how big you've grown...."

No-

"Your parents tell me you're graduating this year. I'm so, so proud of you. Are you going to become a scientist just like you said?"

How?

"You always said it was so you could find a way for everyone to see me too... I'm sorry for holding you back for so long. It's good that you made friends. I made alot too - really good ones. With them, I can live in fantasy and the real world at the same time. It's so much fun."

What are you apologizing for? Why are you acting like you're the one that abandoned them. You were everywhere to them. Everything they ever achieved was because of the shoulder you gave them to lean on. Being with you was like a dream - but everyone has to wake up eventually.

"Oops! Looks like a wasted all our time. I have a few more scheduled greets, but maybe if you stay after we can chat a little more before you leave. See you!"

They don't want to leave. There's still so much to be explained; to say and do, but just like them - you were gone as you appeared. They had to see you again in a better time. Do imaginary friends drink coffee?"

"How's it feel to be the one on the other end of the stick?"

Another clown stands behind them. It was the same one that shared your act. Gus. What do they want?

"Y'know I know alllll about what happened between you two. I know everything from their past since as their bestest friend - and potential future spouse - it's my job to make them loved enough to spill every, little detail. You shouldn't have come here. You're not the first to recognize them - and you won't be the last.

The ball of their wrist juts painfully against their skin as the clown grabs their arm.

"I won't let any of you get back into their heart. I won't let anyone hurt them again. You can't just take back what you broke when someone else fixes it. I'll make you feel what they felt. I'll make them forget you - and anyone who tries to take them from us that I promise and promises are meant to be kept. Quick question before you go though - think Y/n will like these matching necklaces I made us? Anything looks cute when its on them - but think it'll fit better than that old scrunchie."

[agendabymooner]

newsflash ! pierre g. x ofc (singer!ofc)

“i ain’t interested in being a pretty name on your list.”

summary: somebody’s got to humble pierre gasly; enter ensley soleil, a musician who happens to be a friend of a friend of a friend. OR ensley has already written a line or two in songs about a boy like him, but pierre wants to prove to his crush that being ‘liked by pierregasly’ also means that he’ll pursue her like a man she never knew existed.

content warning: willne and rich brian appearance, middleman!lando, “liked by pierregasly” 🤓, use of explicit language, mentions of cheating/past relationship (unnamed ex)

note: talking to a guy so here’s a content hehe (also i noticed you guys liked the sebastian vettel one… good because i would have cried tbh. might update colour me your colour next, then i’m gonna try to update the daniel ricciardo wedding mini series).

masterlist

liked by pierregasly, wroetoshaw, brianimanuel

view 3102 more comments

willne you should come back to uk tbh 🙈 liked by ensoleil

ensoleil i’m quite happy here thx :)

user1 WELCOME BACK TO LONDON ENSLEY !!!!

user2 ok but that man fumbled real hard though 🚩

user3 that man bagged a baddie and cheated on her??? a shame smh

user4 “liked by pierregasly” 💀

user5 as a henny and f1 fan, wtf pierre

user6 pear noticed her post??? bruh. landonorris ain’t that your friend?

user7 how are henny and lando connected?

user6 ensley is friend’s with willne, who is lando’s friend. she’s made an appearance or two in a quadrant video before.

user7 ok but like she lucky tho

user8 she and many girls alright.

liked by willne, charles_leclerc, estebanocon

view 21039 other comments

user1 how far out*** OOOH YOU FUMBLED THIS ONE PIERRE

charles_leclerc i am so sorry for the chances that you will never have after messing up her lyrics

user2 the tote bag, the booktok and LANA DEL REY??? mans down bad fr liked by pierregasly

user3 you’re really working hard huh pierre 😭 liked by pierregasly

pierregasly take every shot you are given, am i not right? 👌

yukitsunoda0511 you’re working too hard pierre 👎

maxverstappen1 because you’re already her favourite 🤣 pierre isn’t even allowed to breathe in her direction

user4 it’s true; i was the glass of daiquiri whenever henny sent him a death glare. mans v persistent tho so mad respect to him

ensoleil you really won’t stop will you, you baguette? liked by pierregasly

pierregasly that’s the least stereotypical shit i’ve ever heard from you and you called me remy from ratatouille

ensoleil sorry 🤓 do u want me to kiss it better

pierregasly no 😊 a date would be really nice though

user5 NAW THIS MAN THINKS HE SLICK

[peachi-blossom]

My thoughts on Hazbin Hotel as a non HH fan

Originally, I was just here to watch people criticizing Hazbin Hotel. But when the recent controversies came in, I feel like I have to step into the fandom rabbit hole.

As a non Hazbin Hotel fan, I've watched the pilot, read the prequel comics, watched the ADDICT music video, and finally the show itself. (I've watched the show on March 15th.)

NOTE: I didn't watch the show on TV so I watched it on a pirated website instead and read the transcript because no way am I watching this in front of my parents, my siblings, or Grandma. This is my personal opinion on the show.

Pilot: So Hell is basically Earth except it's painted red and inhabited by demons. The background has too much red, but not as bad that it makes my eyes bleed. I don't like how the female characters have the same color scheme except Vaggie and Niffty (pilot only). For example, Charlie, Katie Killjoy, and Cherri Bomb. The only two funny parts of the pilot is when the top hat demon says "Wow! That was s***!" after Charlie sings Inside of Every Demon is a Rainbow and when Angel pokes his head in as Vaggie is giving Alastor a warning. I didn't like the daddy joke. It just sounded bad. Also, why is there a joke about harlequin babies?

Prequel comics that are no longer canon: Basically the prequel comics focuses on Angel Dust and Alastor.

For Dirty Healings, it shows how Angel Dust first met Charlie and Vaggie. I knew that Vaggie's name was named after a uh, you know. Ugh… Why did Vivienne Medrano had to name her that? Also I hate Valentino.

As for A Day In The After Life, it just shows why Alastor is the most feared demon in Hell. Also he swears after seeing Vox.

ADDICT music video: I genuinely have no thoughts on this music video. I think this was just bait for the SA and CSA victims. Sorry for those who like the MV.

Episode 1: This is worse than the pilot. I did NOT like the beginning part. It's biblically inaccurate for multiple reasons, but I feel like a few people only talk about this one thing. Sin didn't exist until Adam and Eve ate the fruit of knowledge of good and evil. Not only that, but it's also misogynistic too because it was just Eve who ate it. What makes it misogynistic is that it implies that all women would have to bear the sins of Eve ALONE. There's rampant swearing and sex jokes. Also, isn't Archangel Michael supposed to be the leader of the Army of God? Anyways I'm siding with the angels.

Episode 2: The red is so bright that it hurts my eyes. It doesn't help the fact that Alastor blends in the background. Oh yeah, when Vox tells Sir Pentious to kill himself, it made me feel sad because it reminded me of the Shay incident. The time when the stans drove Shay to kill themself because they were uncomfortable with the large age gap of HuskerDust.

Episode 3: Why? Why is there a BDSM sex dungeon?! I know that was Angel's idea, but still. Why?! I seriously have no words. When Zestial says "What troubles thou?" I was like "Huh?". It should be "What troubles thee?". I think his Old English has grammatical errors. The Egg Boiz, Carmilla, and Zestial are bearable because they never said a swear word. Off topic, but Velvette's swirl streaks on her hair makes me think of a swirl ice cream.

Episode 4: Before the show came out, I saw SlayQueenArt's post on Twitter (X) that says Vivienne Medrano hired Raphielle II, aka R2ninjaturtle, who has a rape fetish and isn't a SA victim. As someone who is formerly addicted to porn, this episode is insulting on so many levels. I didn't watch the whole Poison sequence because of that. And don't get me started on Loser Baby. I hate this song so much. It felt like it is blaming on SA and CSA victims for being SA'd. Like it is blaming me for being addicted to porn on and off when I was EIGHT. I know there are some victims who like episode 4 so I will leave them alone. I seriously hate how Charlie behaves like a toddler at the end. No grown adult should behave like a toddler like she did because being raped isn't a silly thing to cry over. Like, hello? She is the supposed to be the main character. Oh yeah, there was NO warning for the episode when the show premiered and it triggered the victims who watched it. SA and CSA victims are not losers. Former porn addicts are not losers. Nobody is a loser. I am NOT a loser.

Episode 5: Wow, Vivienne Medrano really turned Lucifer into King George from Veggietales. I guess this is what happens when King George gave in into his obsession with rubber ducks. I didn't like Hell's Greatest Dad because of the unnecessary rivalry between Lucifer and Alastor, but at least Mimzy ended the song. Oh boy, this is where I hate Alastor now. No really, he is Vivienne Medrano's first edgelord oc. He has gone full edgelord and is basically a Bill Cipher wannabe now. His full demon form is not even scary compared to Bill's final form. He no longer stands out from the main cast even if he rarely swears. Mimzy is basically the embodiment of the hooked nose stereotype. Wow, the embodiment of a Jew stereotype. How racist.

Episode 6: That was an absolute slap in the face at SA and CSA victims and me when Sir Pentious got SA'd! Seriously, Vivienne Medrano doesn't even care for the victims at this point! What's worse is that he is based off of her old ex-friend, DollCreep. Why did she whitewashed St. Peter?! I know there are white Jews, but he was born in ancient Israel so I wouldn't think he'll be looking like a white man with blonde hair and blue eyes. How come angels don't know how souls get to Heaven?! We got the Ten Commandments! We got Jesus Christ who took our place to die for our sins so we wouldn't have to bear these sins! Emily and Sera are bearable because you know. I hate how Niffty is being treated like a child when she's NOT. What's worse is that Niffty is supposed to be Japanese because of how people INFANTILIZED Asian people, especially women.

Episode 7: My issue with Out for Love is that when Carmilla tells Vaggie that she should fight for love and not for vengeance. Well, Vaggie always fight for love and never for vengeance. In Whatever it Takes, she literally says that she'll always protect Charlie. Where is the vengeance in that? That is poor character writing. Rosie is basically the blood libel stereotype where the Jews are cannibals. Again, that's just racist against Jews.

Episode 8: I thought the finale was pointless because there were no stakes and Sir Pentious' heroic sacrifice was comically anti-climatic. Like, why did Sir Pentious's so called friends cared about him when they didn't help him at ALL in episode 6?! I'm not a fan of the CherriSnake ship because Cherri only becomes interested in him because he has two "joysticks". Not to mention he kissed her without consent and she thinks it's hot after that. The problem with More Than Anything (Reprise) is that Vaggie reassures Charlie that she changed many lives, but she only changed one. I'm so glad Adam defeated Alastor first. There is absolutely no way Lucifer slept with Eve. Oof for Lute and Adam. You both fought well until the end.

The character designs are awful. Every male character basically looks like The Once-ler from The Lorax 2012 movie except for Adam (I know Alastor doesn't have a top hat, but still gives off the vibes. Zestial is more Burtonesque.). Not to mention they are all skinny twigs except for Adam (I think). The female characters in Hell have the same color scheme except Vaggie (again). For example, Charlie, Katie Killjoy, Mimzy (though her dress is a little darker), Cherri Bomb, and Niffty (show only). They have too much pinks, reds, yellows, whites, and blacks. I love pink, but this is too much. What's worse is that they blend in the background and again it hurts my eyes. There is NO color variety and I feel like my eyes are burning.

That's my thoughts on the show.

[gatitties]

Hey there, weird request but could you do maybe like I usually goth and quiet reader who seems like they'd hate white girl music, gets drunk, and starts Screaming/singing "call me maybe", and professes their love for Taylor Swift? Just a silly request from a silly delulu girl😍😋thanks babes👍

─Strawhats, Kid Pirates & Whitebeard Pirates x reader

─Summary: You swear you hate white girl music and yet it only takes a little alcohol for you to know all the songs you swore you hated.

─Warnings: none

nahh it's okay, here we're all delulu (me too 😔🤌🏻)

─ You spend a large part of the day listening to music, either in private or at a respectable volume in meetings so as not to disturb.

─ Everyone knows your tastes and how much you complain about music, especially if it's white girl music, they will never hear you listening to that kind of stuff.

─ You argue a lot with Brook about songs and sometimes Franky joins in, since they are both the ones who precede you in your obsession with listening to music at all hours.

─ Now, your sober and drunk side are different people, or at least, concepts of your personality that others should forget, we are not going to review all the embarrassing things you have done while drunk.

─ But something that they remind you constantly like breathing was that time you had too many drinks that your body couldn't handle.

─ It was in a bar while you were celebrating having liberated another island from some random tyrant, the atmosphere was great and you loved the music that accompanied it, but the moment you crossed that line, between sobriety and drunkenness, that's when you lost it.

─ You went crazy when “call me maybe” started playing, shouting at the top of your lungs, some of your comrades looked at you suspiciously, Luffy just followed you while Brook thought you were an imposter.

─ Robin had to take you to the boat that night while you ranted about your favorite artists, being the complete opposite of what you used to listen to on a daily basis, she wasn't the only one, because Nami ended up learning Taylor Swift's entire discography.

─ They asked Chopper for something to put you to sleep because you couldn't stop humming songs even with your eyes closed.

─ Nobody, absolutely nobody except Heat, listened to that kind of music.

─ You expressed countless times your most sincere hatred towards white girl music, throwing hate at the main artists or songs in particular, everyone at Victoria Punk knew about your dislike towards the genre.

─ Maybe the only one who caught you listening to those songs was Wire, but you threatened to cut out his tongue if he said a single word about this.

─ Although it wasn't necessary, when in one of the many celebrations for defeating any strong opponent, you got drunk, putting aside your hatred and embracing your tastes closely that night.

─ Kid almost choked on his beer when he saw how both you and Heat started a dance battle that ended with both of you singing “Last Friday Night.”

─ Taking advantage of the fact that the next morning you would regret it, he recorded everything to show you, making fun of you was always fun for your captain, especially if it was his revenge for recording him canoodling with Killer at the previous party.

─ Even when most of the crew got tired or fainted from exhaustion, you continued giving your concert.

─ Killer had to drag you back to your bed after you vomited a couple of times on the way, listening to how you would describe fun facts from the album "1989", he patted you on the back and left you, hoping you wouldn't throw up again.

─ The next day you chased Kid all over the ship to erase that singing video from existence.

─ Only Thatch knew about your guilty taste for that type of music, he was also a secret fan, since no one used to enter the kitchen apart from him and a couple of other people, you took advantage of that time to do private concerts.

─ The problem was that Ace discovered you while he was trying to steal food, and sometimes he has just enough neurons.

─ Probably not all the crew knew your musical tastes, but most definitely knew what kind of music you didn't like, because you were always complaining if any of those songs came on the radio.

─ Oh, everyone missed how you enjoyed the songs, moving your lips singing in silence.

─ The fact is that Ace, in one of his brilliant ideas, took you on stage in the middle of a party, although it wasn't something that caught everyone's attention, it definitely caught the attention of your closest people.

─ Not only were you drunk, but you also started singing “Don't let me down” with Thatch with everything you had, Ace joined in, slurring the lyrics but following the rhythm.

─ Izo knew it was time to get you off the stage when you started to wobble more than necessary, you hugged him to keep from falling, listing each of Taylor Swift's albums and each favorite song from her respective album.

─ The next morning you had completely forgotten what happened that night, more concerned with receiving Marco's hangover pills, he made fun of you for your performance but since you didn't remember it you just told him he dreamed it or something.

─ It was Whitebeard who made you remember what you had done that night, completely embarrassed not by singing those songs, but by the drunkenness you had gotten, you are glad to have such an understanding father right now.

[iamthecomet]

15 years ago, today, my friend Ellen died. And I can't let this day go without telling you about her--at least a little.

She was 17. It was five days after graduation (she was barely allowed to participate because adults can be such assholes to kids sometimes). It was raining. It was her first time driving that far by herself.

She didn't know how to steer out of a skid. Her mom hadn't taught her yet. There was time.

Ellen and I weren't best friends. We lived an hour and a half away from each other (each of us had a 45 minute bus ride in the morning). We didn't hang out outside of school--except when we went to see Twilight on opening night the November before she died with a group of other girls.

But, we were friends. We liked the same things (books, and music, and writing, and acting). We commiserated. And laughed. And sang. And raged together. We loved each other the way high school girls do.

And I could write thousands of words about her. I have. I will again. I wish I could tell you all about her. I wish I could give you the joy of knowing her--wish I could conjure the magic of her so you could feel it, just for a moment.

She was an artist. A musician. An actress. She was an extra in a real Hollywood movie, with a brief second of screen time that still kills me to watch. She was a teenager. She was annoying and loud and dramatic and made good choices and bad ones. She had one of those laughs--you know the ones. She was a lot. All seventeen year olds are.

She exists now in art left behind. In old recordings. In the songs she wrote that her mom sings for her. In the video of her graduation speech. In the ring of hers I wear around my neck every day. In the index card she made for me on a bad day--proclaiming her love for me when she knew I needed it most.

I love her. I miss her. She has been gone almost as long as she's been alive. I wish I knew how to share her with all of you. I wish I had more reasons to talk about her. I am endlessly glad I knew her.

If you read this far. Thank you. Thank you for spending a couple minutes with me. And with Ellen.

Grief stays with you. It sneaks up on you. It lives with you. While I wish with all my heart it didn't happen--that she was here--it did. And she isn't. So I am glad for my grief sometimes. It means she was here. It means I was lucky enough to know her.

I wish you could have known her too. She should have had so many more years than seventeen.

I'll leave you with her words. Ones that will never leave me. I hear them sung in her voice--even though I never got to hear her sing them (I've heard her mother sing them though, maybe that's close enough).

"And yes, the sun still shines. But never the same as when you were alive."

[inmydelusionalera]

How would ATEEZ react when their s/o is dancing to one of their songs?

Genre: fluffy

Warnings/triggers: N/A

Gender: Any

Hongjoong

You're dancing in the kitchen to 'treasure' without being aware of the fact that Hongjoong was stood right behind you, watching you dance your heart out. You even attempted to rap his parts. Once the song finishes, you hear clapping from behind you which startles you. 'How long were you watching?' You were slightly embarrassed because you're not the greatest dancer or rapper in the world. He laughs at you and smiles, 'long enough, it was actually kinda cute and you're definitely my favourite rapper.'

Seonghwa

As you're cleaning the living room, you dance with the vacuum cleaner to 'wave'. You know the choreography so well as you've watched Seonghwa's fancam so many times. 'Ahh how many times are you gonna listen to that song?' Seonghwa appears from behind you, smiling as he watches you dance. His sudden appearance doesn't stop you from dancing and as you continue to dance, he eventually joins in with you. You end up dancing for a while, but don't worry, you managed to get the chores done as you now had a dancing Seonghwa to help!

Yunho

You were in your feels as the song 'turbulence' is playing and you were making up your own choreography to go with the song. Yunho comes downstairs after gaming for a bit and sees you dancing and you instantly make eye contact. As he walks towards you, he he smiles and holds his hand out for you to take. 'Let's make our own choreography together.' You and Yunho start slow dancing, never breaking eye contact. The world around you no longer seemed to exist and it was just you two. Something binding always seems to happen when you dance together.

Yeosang

'Crazy Form' would be blasting from the speakers as you try to learn the choreography as a suprise for Yeosang. You knew it would be hard as it requires skill and energy but you also knew it would be worth it. As you're deep in concentration, you don't notice Yeosang enter the room from behind you until the song ends and you collapse on the floor exhausted. 'Waaaa, how have you kept this talent hidden from me for so long? We could've been doing TikTok challenges together!' He was genuinely impressed and now forced you to do TikToks with him- have fun!

San

You had always admired how San was able to look sexy and cool when dancing to hard choreography and you wanted to try it for yourself. You place a chair in the middle of the room and start playing 'cyberpunk'. His part of the song was enngraved in your head so all you had to do was make your body do what he does. 'Haha you're so cute when you try copy me, let me help you before you hurt yourself.' San walks over to you and guides you on all the steps but you were so distracted by him that you were none the wiser by the end.

Mingi

You were watching an award show video where ATEEZ were performing 'bouncy'. The song had gotten to the last chorus and you couldn't help but want to join in, so you spring onto your feet and join in with the boys on the screen. Once the song finishes, you turn around to sit back down, to be greeting with a camera pointing straight at you. 'ENCORE, ENCORE, ENCORE,' Mingi would jokingly be yelling at you. You go to grab the phone off him but he's too quick. 'I promise not to show anyone if you perform the whole song just for me.' You're confused by his sweet yet strange request but you comply as you don't want anyone to see the video. He's lovingly smiling at you throughout the song, silently encouraging you. He was never going to share it- he just wanted to see you perform.

Wooyoung

'The real' was a song that had been playing non-stop in your head and you took this as a sign to finally learn the choreography. You replay Wooyoung's fancam several times in order to memorise it and when you're eventually ready, you begin. You practice for hours and you were so focused, you didn't hear Wooyoung come in. But you sure heard him when he saw you dancing: 'OMG Y/N. YOU'RE AMAZING.' Wooyoung is you're biggest fan and he would be cheering and clapping with every step you made. When you finish the song he jokes about you becoming an idol but really, he just wants you to perform for real.

Jongho

You were bored as you were alone in the apartment, scrolling through social media watching dance challenges. This gave you the inspiration to try it yourself and you decide to learn the chorepgraphy 'deja vu'. It wouldn't take you long to pick it up as the chorus was relatively easy. All you had to do was film it and post it but as you were in the middle of recording, Jongho comes home and sees you dancing. He's a bit shy at first once he realises which song you're dancing to but his shyness quickly turns into admiraton. He watches all the takes you record in awe and even picks his favourite one out for you to post.

[asklilmissrarity]

Progress Update on Melodi

Hello, everyone!

Happy New Year!

On December 15th 2023, I made the public announcement that Lil Miss Rarity will receive no further comic updates from me, finally confirming a common theory that I had lost the will to continue creating it. Lil Miss Rarity, just to confirm here, is now public domain and I encourage fan-blogs and will proverbially pass the torch to anyone who would like to take up the mantle.

It wasn't an easy decision to make because of how many times I'd promised I would never stop updating it, and I did in fact have future plans for it (I will be making a video on YouTube describing how I'd planned to continue the story, and how I would have ended it if I ever did).

But in its wake came Melodi, a spiritual successor to Lil Miss Rarity, and I've decided that a story-driven video game with ongoing updates would be the smartest decision, at least for the introduction to the series.

And so along came this twiggy elf. (Important note: Her booby size on her sprite is exaggerated, same as her head size. The in-game art for cutscenes will show more proper body proportions.)

Melodi is now just four directional (diagonal movement) sprite animations away from being a complete character sprite, which means creating a proof of concept will be just a matter of time.

As of today, I have completed:

The intro cutscene for the game, leading to the introduction of Melodi and her teacher, Eliah Sterium (Multiple full color images accompany that cutscene)

Seven unique songs entirely composed by myself (Literally learned how to make music a week ago just for this project)

Four directional movement sprites consisting of 6 frames of pixel animation each direction (Including separating each part to make them usable for other characters' sprites)

Four directional idle animations consisting of 6 frames of animation each direction (Again, making paperdolls to use later for other characters)

A discord server for the ongoing production of Melodi RPG where I'll be answering questions, including answering as the characters from the game similar to the LMR ask-blog

27 (just counted) preliminary sketches to flesh out character designs and have reference for myself

Eliah Sterium's design, making the ladies go gaga

Mountains of lore (a lot of which can be found in the Discord's lore channels)

Personalities for the primary cast of deadbeat magic school students

Art for the title screen

The entire storyboard for Episode 1 and Episode 2

The pricing model for the game (Episode 1 will be a free demo, and all remaining episodes will be bundled together in a $10 purchase)

The "Pet Cwow" option on the Quit Game menu and what happens when you pet him (You'll see)

The entire intro in-engine (Screencapped above with Eliah there)

Many new fans/friends who've introduced themselves in the Discord

And, I have received (on December 31st) my very first negative review of the game, which I will cherish. Someone who knew nothing other than "It's a game about an elf who goes psychotic" and saw the title art said that the game was basically doomed to fail because Melodi has large breasts, to which I replied "Imagine being this fucking butthurt over tits existing" which set him off into an obnoxious and insulting rage that ended with "Enjoy nothing but horny virgins playing your game and ignoring the dog water, generic ass story." A quote that I will never, ever, ever forget, and if I someday make a physical release of the game, I promise you, that quote will be on the back of the box.

There's even more than just all this, I've already sunk tons of hours of time and effort into the production of Melodi and I am super excited to continue.

I want to thank everyone for the support of the game so far, and I hope once people know more about the story and characters, the game sees the same kind of fandom that Lil Miss Rarity once had.

Luv you all

~Jay Tonique

[suzy-queued]

DVD Commentary: These Foolish Games

@stocious asked if I could share behind-the-scenes commentary from These Foolish Games. @shamelessdvdcommentary

Give us some stats - (when you wrote it, word count, how long it took to finish, is it a one-shot/multi-chapter, etc) I wrote it from March through November of 2022. It's a 15-chapter fic, 96,884 words.

What was the initial inspiration for your story? I love the "Shop around the Corner" scenario where people fall in love via text but hate each other in person. I've only seen versions of that trope where the love portion happens via letters but they remain enemies in real life. I wanted to see what would happen if they were chasing each other in a huge love square. Picture me giggling and saying, "All we want out of Gallavich stories is to see them fall in love over and over again. What if every major character in this story is either Ian or Mickey in alternate forms?!"

What was your favorite scene to write? Hands down, it was chapter 4, when they watched the training video. This Mickey is based on a friend I had in high school named Jason. He and I had health class together, and we'd chat and joke around during class. But two strange things happened: (1) when we were OUT of class, he wouldn't even make eye contact with me. It was like I didn't exist. (2) when we watched videos IN class and the lights would go down, it was like we were dating. He'd hold my hand and lock our feet together and trace shapes on each other's arms. I never knew anyone who could Jekyll and Hyde so quickly between three different dynamics. Were we friends, strangers, or crushes? That history with him churns in my brain, and I wanted to capture how that felt in this story.

How did you come up with the title? I took the title from Jewel's song.

Other working titles included: This Bitter Chase Addicted to that Rush Shock + Awe Rules of Engagement Cock it and Pull it Locked and Loaded Brace for Impact A Shot in the Dark Caught in the Crossfire Come Out and Play Mark and Misfire

Are there any little moments or references you hope readers will notice? That every chapter (except one) had a two-word title. I like coming up with chapter titles, and I thought that was fun.

Was there anything you struggled to write? If so, how did you overcome this? I painted myself into a corner with the criminal aspect. My notes said something like, "Hector is doing something related to theft in the facility. This theft leads to unsafe circumstances. These unsafe circumstances are serious enough for his franchise to be threatened." I know nothing about trampoline engineering. I know very little about underground markets and precious metals. You don't hear a lot of media coverage of trampoline parks as mob fronts. I visited soooo many sketchy websites and researched what could possibly net Hector a decent enough chunk of change. I read documents about safety liability and franchise law. The takeaway is, anything can be solved with the right amount of research.

You know what was really fun to research? Videos of people doing wall runs.

Did the storyline change in any way as you wrote the story? I started with a more dramatic rivalry between the laser tag staff and the bounce center. It was a blood feud, and if you crossed those lines, you'd be dead. It was a life-threatening and tense dynamic, which we as the readers would see as parody but the characters would take 100% seriously. Total noir, Quentin Tarantino vibes. The more I wrote, I couldn't sustain that intensity with a straight face.

Jett was originally "Finn," but I didn't want "NotFinn" to have the same initials as "Noel Fisher." Chara was originally "Samantha."

If you are writing a particular trope or genre, was it your first time writing this? I never put so much texting into a story! Whew! It was cool to figure out how to do AO3 skins for this story. I set it up so that Ian's texts were always orange and Mickey's texts were always blue. That was done with a skin, so I didn't have to code it fresh for every chapter.

What are you most proud about in the story? (plot, characterization, dialogue, twist/cliffhanger, etc) I'm most proud of keeping the identities straight. It was … a lot. With all the Shakespearean name swapping, the reader could still follow who was who (I hope).

Are there any ‘behind the scenes’ info you’d like to share - e.g. what’s going on in a characters head in a certain scene or how you came to write a certain line? I can share a little about the process of keeping a long story straight. I made a dossier of all the characters, locations, and scenes as I was going. That way, I could glance at the notes instead of having to re-read entire chapters to find details.

As with all my stories, I hand-wrote this one. I filled three notebooks.

Are there any ‘easter eggs’ in your story - e.g. references to other stories you’ve written, a trope you often use etc? One trope is that I create art for each chapter. I also like to create logos for each story I make. Here is the full TigerZone logo:

I also create Spotify playlists for all my stories. Here is the one for These Foolish Games.

If you’ve chosen your most popular story, are you surprised by the popularity? This is my most commented-on and kudoed fic, which makes me so happy. I think it's well-deserved.

Were you nervous or excited to post this story? Yes. The nerves never go away, no matter how much you've written.

Anything else you’d like the readers to know about the story? Here are a few images that show the inspiration as well as what was happening in my life as I wrote it.

Our family (pre-covid) enjoyed laser tagging and trampolining.

We had a tornado and major power outage in 2022, which didn't stop me from writing. We took a trip to Chicago, and I was poking my head into every laser tag arena we saw.

That summer, as I was writing, Noel was in Brooklyn filming The Calling. I also went to Brooklyn, a few weeks later.

After the story was complete, my husband gifted me a printed copy. 😭❤️

This is open to all writers! Pick your favorite story you’ve written or your most popular or the one you think deserves some more love! Or ask your followers to suggest their favorite fic of yours!

Thank you for the ask! This is so much fun. I can't believe how many wonderful friends I made from this fic.

[hkthatgffan]

Well, today's the day! Hilda comes to an end. I figured now more than ever is time I make this post on just…how I feel about this incredible show ending and why it means so much to me…and why I'm grateful to Luke Pearson and the whole Hilda team. So, long post below ahead!

I found Hilda in 2018 via a post on the Gravity Falls sub of the trailer. Right from the start, something felt special about this show. And like many, I tuned in to watch it when it began. I didn't know what would be in store as I began it, but I was excited. This was at the end of the summer as GF hype for Lost Legends and the box set died down. So, getting in to a new show seemed like the best idea. It took literally hearing that theme song for me to instantly fall in love with Hilda. There was something so familiar and wholesome just bursting out of that opening. It was a feeling hard to really explain. By episode 3 and specifically the ending of it…I knew I had my next favourite show.

Everything about Hilda just felt perfect to me. The animation was incredible, Hilda as a character was enjoyable and full of life, the story felt fresh even if the core concept seemed familiar and all in all, I just loved the atmosphere this show radiated. It also made me so happy to see Canada have a part in Hilda. The Canadian animation industry is one I love given how much of a part of my childhood it was. And so to see it have a hand in this incredible show just made me so happy. Mercury Filmworks did amazing with Hilda. And I think that's how I began to understand why Hilda feels so familiar; it reminds me of those old cartoons I grew up on. Those Canadian Nelvana shows that were so wholesome & yet so fun to watch…while also not afraid to be bold. Hilda was that kind of show for a new generation!

I also didn't shy away from poking some nods to Gravity Falls. It was a great way to help spread Hilda's existence to more people and to this day I get messages from people who tell me they found Hilda because of my tweets, or videos or more. That means the world and I am grateful to have helped you discover this show. And like any show I fell in love with, I also bough the books and other merch for it. The Hilda graphic novels were amazing to read and see how the show grew from them, the figurine still just fits in my shelf, and the tie in books and more are always fun to collect. I'll miss it. Not to mention the memes…of which I made a few. The Hilda fandom is insane, yet so funny. Like all fandoms it has its ups and downs but I've met some amazing people because of Hilda and some who I remain great friends with. You know who you are <3

Hilda's conclusion means that the last of my holy trinity shows is now over…and with that, the end of an era. Truthfully, IDK what my plans are post Hilda. It was the last show still airing that I truly was 110% passionate about. That's not to say there aren't other shows, But there will never be another Hilda for me. Hilda is a show unlike any other I have seen. Yeah, perhaps it's not the most popular or the biggest or the best cartoon out there. But OMG, no other show since ever made me as happy and passionate as Hilda did. It's one of a kind!

I said in 2018 that Hilda is everything out of a cartoon that I wanted. I still believe that.

No cartoon is perfect and our definition of perfection is our own. If you ask me though…Hilda is the closest cartoon I have ever come across to my definition of perfection!

With that, while I am heartbroken to bid farewell to Hilda…I am happy I got to experience this show as it aired. I'm grateful for all the memories I made in the 5 years I had it. I'm grateful for the adventure and above all else…I'm grateful to have seen Hilda! ❤️

2018-2023

[davidtennantgenderenvy]

As i approach the end of finals week, I’m taking a moment to reflect on all of the absolutely CRAZY things that have happened during my roller coaster of a sophomore year of college!

This is of course, going to go down in the history books as The David Tennant year. What started as a silly little reawakened special interest in my favorite actor has somehow opened doors for me that I never could have imagined. Writing a two hour video essay about this man is NOT how I thought I’d be spending last semester, but not only did it become one of the proudest creative projects of my entire life and connected me with so many amazing internet buddies, but it was also invaluable in helping me come to terms with my queerness and come out to my friends and family. Thanks to a silly little short about David’s BAFTA outfit, he KNOWS I EXIST NOW, which is still so wild. And finally, he inspired me to write my most ambitious piece of music to date, my 8 month labor of love Crowley’s Lament, which put to the test basically everything I’ve learned about music and performing and has been received so beautifully by you guys.

This year wasn’t all about him, though! I finally got to make my collegiate stage debut in my first opera, and Iolanthe ended up being the dream role I never knew I needed- an endearing and inspiring character that was such a fulfilling challenge for an actor and singer to play. I learned loads of challenging classical, musical theatre, and pop rock music this year, listened to a ton of new albums (Will Wood might be one of the most incredible musical discoveries of my life?), and learned a ton about music theory and history. One of my favorite classes this year was Film and TV music analysis, and I got to apply my knowledge by composing the score for one of my Discord mutuals’ short films! I turned 20 and on the same day got to perform in an original musical for my friend’s composition recital. I took part in my first ever crew assignment, had two of my pieces performed at Project 21 concerts (one with a full band!), and my original Fullmetal Alchemist song Even Into Hell was choreographed for a collaboration with the school of dance, which brought my piece to such gorgeous emotional life.

I’ve gotten closer to friends old and new, and just when I’d accepted that romance probably wasn’t in the cards for me any time soon, I met (well, started DM-ing), the most amazing person through the most unexpected set of circumstances (that honestly deserves its own video sometime in the future). My brilliant internet friend-turned-parter Merlin @elsinore-and-inverness has brought so much light and joy into my life, and I can honestly say I’m the happiest I’ve been in years.

Next stop, THE UK!!! I’m not only studying abroad on a once in a lifetime Shakespeare trip, seeing loads of West End shows AND performing at the Edinburgh Fringe, but I also get to meet my favorite London boy in person :)))) could NOT be more excited

[helplesslyblue77]

It Felt So Wrong(It Felt So Right)

Genre: Smut, minors dni

Pairing: Step Dad!Bang Chan x Reader, Step Bro!Felix x Reader

Word Count: 3.8k

Warnings: Step-Sibling Incest, Step Dad!Chan, Step Brother!Felix, Smut, slight degration, Daddy Kink, use of slut, Moral Dilemmas but less than youd think because the author is lazy as fuck

Notes: its very much focused on the reader and there is no m/m action cause chan and felix r related and thats to much even for me,

ok so...you know how its like 3 am and you just had a whole cryfest about how knowone will ever love you and you are obsessing over men who dont even know you exist? and then you feel dumb and take a shower and chug an energy drink while you eat Pizza and smash out like four chapters of your WIP and one very dirty convoluted oneshot????

Yeah.

Anyway i literally cannot watch any clips from Bang Chan's lives the man makes me so Delulu its not ok.

The Title is from 'I Kissed a Girl' by Katy Perry, i love that song man.

You had just turned fourteen when your mother had come home, sat you down at the table, and announced she was getting married. You had not been surprised. You wished her well and snuck upstairs while she talked loudly on the phone with her friends, hardly sparing you a glance.

Your mother seemed to bring home a new man every few years, and at this point, you barely even cared.

And she barely spared a thought for you as well. You were well-fed and had your credit card, but you lacked the love only a parent could give you. Your mother was much too caught up in her pretty jewels and visits to the country club to pay you much thought. 

She was selfish, your mother, and used her pretty face and ample figure to get whatever she wanted in life, whether it be money, clothes, or men, she could have it all. The other men your mother seemed to favor never really spared you a glance, too caught up in your mother's boob job to pay attention to her only daughter, so you really had no expectations when it came to this new man.

But when you were finally introduced, you noticed how he was different.

He looked at you, smiled at you, and acknowledged your presence unlike so many of the others had. He even brought you a gift, a pretty silver necklace with a small charm.

He was handsome, and of course much younger than your own mother. Christopher, he said his name was, and he smiled at you warmly, introducing his son to you. Felix was sweet, pretty with a smile like the sun and the two of you hit it off immediately, rushing indoors to play video games while your parents snuck off.

You pretended not to know what they were doing. 

You adjusted well to the two of them, Felix transferred into your school and you showed him around, introducing him to your friends. He meshed well into your small group and in no time at all, you were happy as can be. You hoped they would stick around, your mother tended to trade off men very quickly., tossing out the old and bringing in the new every few years.

It was the first time you could remember hoping she didn't get a new boy toy, hoping that Chris and Felix would stick around. But then, in your Junior year of high school, it happened.

You remembered the frantic call from the hospital. Felix’s hand gripped your own tightly as you watched your mother's monitor flatline. You felt guilty, like maybe you should have felt more devastated, but truthfully, you weren't that sad.

You shed tears later, however, wetting the sunny yellow of Felix’s favorite t-shirt. It wasn't the fact that your mother was gone, no, it was your stepfather's devastated face that made you sob like a baby in Felix’s arms. 

You hadn't loved your flighty, unreliable mother, but your stepfather had. Even though you all knew she had been cheating on him the last few months.

Your mother is dead now, and it was all in the past. 

It all began on that very night, the night your mother died. Your seventeenth birthday had passed barely a few weeks before and you had fingered the pretty necklace they had given you as you ate. Your mother hadn't gotten you a present, but Felix and your stepdad had, and they had spent extra time with you when they noticed your mother was ignoring you as usual.

You remembered how Felix’s pretty face had lit up with a smile when he handed you the gift, Chris subtly shoving a card across the table.

They liked to give you jewelry, and you liked to receive it. It felt nice to be dressed up and you kind of understood why your mother liked it so much. The card had a few hundred in it, and a handwritten note from both of them, telling you how much they cared about you.

You had cried later that night, curled up in Felix’s arms as usual, and thanked him over and over. He had just laughed and comforted you as always. That night, you realized how nice it was to have people who cared about you, people who enjoyed hanging out with you, and who valued the things you had to say.

You dared to think that you were glad your mother was dead, so you could have a real family, all to yourself. 

The next day, when your small family moved away from your mother's empty cold house, Chris(As he had insisted you call him) reassured you that they would always care for you that you were their family, that you could live with them as long as you wished.

You felt your cold dead heart, so hardened by your mother's uncaring attitude, begin to blossom in your chest. You noticed, for the first time, how pretty Felix was, with his blond hair and the freckles dotting his skin, how firm his chest felt from years of martial arts when he pressed you up against it. You noticed the caring way he looked at you, the way he comforted you when you were sobbing your eyes out over a dumb boy, or how he always made sure to buy you your favorite drinks from the store. 

You noticed your stepfather's dimples when he smiled at you, his muscly arms when he lifted your things and carried them into the house. You noticed the way he would go out of his way to make your favorite foods when he saw you were down, how he didn't get a new girlfriend, probably because he thought you would be upset about it.

You noticed how they cared about you, but most of all, you noticed they were men. And it would plague your mind for years to come.

It started out innocent. Your heart sped up when they came to close, dreams of kissing plump familiar lips, blushing cheeks.

But then it became worse. 

And the day of your eighteenth birthday, you awoke sweaty and panting in your bed, two forbidden names falling from your mouth. 

You had never considered them as family, not really. Chris was your mother's new toy, and Felix was more of a friend than a brother. That careless attitude was coming back to haunt you.

So you left.

Packed your bags and went off to boarding school. It gave you a break from the suffocating tension that seemed to settle over the house with the loss of your mother. It made you feel guilty, here Chris was so broken up about your mother while you thirsted about him, fantasized about him bending you over the table and taking you ruthlessly. When Felix would smile at you, asking to cuddle and all you could think about was his pretty mouth doing other things to you. 

You couldn't take it anymore. 

Your twenty-first birthday was only a few days away when you returned from, settling back into your old room and your old routine. 

Chris welcomed you back with open arms, hugging you warmly and stroking your hair. “Missed you babygirl.” He would murmur in your ear, and you tried not to shiver at the familiar nickname. 

“Missed you too Chris.” With a pat on your back, he hoisted your luggage up and disappeared inside, arms flexing.

Felix tackled you in a hug next, pressing his lithe body into your back. He'd grown while you were gone, shoulder filling out and arms flexing as he hugged you tightly in a sweet back hug. You tried not to imagine what it would feel like if he was doing something else in this position. But this was Felix, he would never even imagine anything like that. 

“Missed you Oppa.”

He kissed your neck, and you breathed in his clean scent of sunflowers and things you couldn't quite place. He smelled like home. You jostled against him, accidentally rubbing your but against him and he flinched, pulling away slightly.

You froze, it couldn't be, right? Your sweet innocent brother Felix would never…

He pulled away fully and you decided it was best to ignore it for now, so you grabbed his hand, leading him in. 

He smiled at you, and you grinned back. “Dad and I made you a welcome back dinner, it's gonna be great.”

He let you lead him inside, the screen door slamming behind the two of you. You were home.

𝄑𝄑𝄑

You loved being back. The familiar smell of Chris’s cooking, your video game nights with Felix, and most of all, having a family again. But you still couldn't shake that tension. You knew you were the problem and it made you feel guilty. It was hard to cuddle on the couch with Felix when all you could think about was riding him right on this very couch.

It was hard to work out with Chris when you just wanted him to take you in the dirty gym over the workout machines.

But then, on the eve of your twenty-first birthday, when you were all gathered around the table serving the delicious chocolate cake you and Felix had made, you noticed something. 

Maybe it was the way their gazes were focused on you, maybe it was the lighting, playing tricks on your brain, but you swore you saw a flicker of desire in their eyes. You shook it off, sighting your horny imagination, and enjoyed your cake, but you could never really forget it.

Over the next few weeks, you noticed things. Lingering glances, guilty eyes flicking away from your cleavage when you wore low-cut shirts when you had sunbathed out by the pool and Chris had come out, dragging his eyes away from your figure as he handed you a glass of homemade lemonade. Or the fact that Felix had laundry duty and some of your panties had mysteriously gone missing. 

They both wanted you, that was obvious, but lingering doubts stopped them from just taking you, taking what they wanted. They seemed to think you didn't want them, but oh how wrong they were. They just needed a little push.

So you hatched a plan.

𝄑𝄑𝄑

Your plan was set in motion on a Saturday night. Chris had just gotten back from work, and you bounced over to him, all smiles. “Hey Chris, Felix is gone, and I really wanna watch this movie.” You pouted as he removed his coat, sending him those puppy eyes you knew he was weak for. “Watch it with me.”

He nodded, like the weak man he was, and met your sweet smile as you grabbed his hand, bouncing happily over to the couch and pushing him down. “Gonna go change.”

You make sure to wear your sluttiest pj set, a silk lace tank top, and some matching undies, and bounce back downstairs, plopping yourself down and cuddling up to Chris. “Ready.”  Is all you said, grabbing the remote and starting the movie.

He coughs a little, clearing his throat awkwardly. “Aren't you a little cold? Your Pj’s are, um, small.”

You smile up at him innocently, standing up. “Maybe a little, but you're so warm.” You say, and plop down right in his lap. “There, problem solved.” You smile up at him and he smiles back tightly, hands automatically gripping your hips and adjusting you slightly.

You feel your pussy throb at that unexpected show of strength. You're going to go insane if one of your hot sudo family members doesn't fuck you this instant.

So you ramp it up. 

Pretending to be cold, you move backward, jostling around on his lap intentionally. He grunts a little, hands on your waist making butterflies flutter in your stomach.

\You're winning though, you can tell when you move a little too much, and your but brushes up against something big and hard. He winces, opening his mouth to apologize, but his words dissolve in his throat as you grind down, head falling against his shoulder. 

His voice is hoarse when he speaks, “We should stop.”

You grind your core directly on his length and you both groan. His hands move your hips, grinding them against him. He speaks again. “Tell me to stop.”

You can see the guilt in his eyes, the turmoil that wars within him so you shut him up with a kiss. 

“Chris. Fuck me.”

He tries to resist, you feel him brace to pull away, and so you move falling backward off the couch and pulling him with you as you crash to the floor. If you were less horny you would appreciate how he protects the back of your head as you fall, but at this moment you just need his hands on you, his lips on your own, his cock inside you—

So you reach up, sealing your lips in a kiss. He kisses back immediately, his tongue finding its way into your mouth. The kiss is wild, passionate, and hungry, weeks of pent-up lust and longing culminating in this very moment. 

He practically devours your mouth, hands ripping your pretty pj set in his hast as he rips it off. You whine in protest and he pulls away, kissing down your body. “Don't worry baby girl, I'll buy you another.”

Your core clenches at that nickname and you grip his hair, forcing his face down. He obliges, his hot breath teasing your wet core. His voice is a growl when he speaks. “So wet for me. Do you want my cock that much?”

You whine, bucking helplessly into the air. “Yes, want Daddy's cock.”

He chuckles, planting a sweet kiss on your clothed core as you writhe with need. “Such a pretty slut for Daddy.”

You whine and he finally pulls your panties aside, diving into your pussy like a man starved. The sounds that leave your mouth are sinful, moans and pants of his name ring off the walls of the living room.

You're so distracted you don't hear the sound of the front door slamming, Felix’s carefree humming as he makes his way down the hall, headphones blaring. 

𝄑𝄑𝄑

Felix felt guilty that he couldn't watch that movie with you, but the school called and his professor offered him a chance he simply couldn't turn down.

As he arrived home, however, headphones glued to his head, he practically skipped up the path, Happy to see you. He slammed the door open, closing it just as loudly and tromping down the hall, towards the kitchen. He was hungry, there were probably some leftovers in the fridge. He opened the door to the living room and froze, not believing his eyes.

There you were, spread out on the carpet, naked. And that was his dad between your legs.

Felix froze. He couldn't believe this. 

He had never been so jealous of somebody in his life.

It had started years ago when he had met you, to be honest. You were sweet and kind and irresistible to his teenage mind. And you liked prancing around the house in skimpy little crop tops and shorts and Felix was only a man. You were touchy too, always pressed against him and in his lap, and Felix had spent many a night huddled in his bed frantically jerking off as quietly as possible.

He still remembered that one time your little family had decided to go to the beach. Felix had suffered a lot that day, doing his best to not get hard as you pranced around the beach in that cute bathing suit, dragging him around as you usually did. And then you had asked him to put sunscreen on your back.

Felix might have died and gone to heaven that day.

It had only gotten worse and worse, and you got your heart broken by the jerks you dated. Felix knew he could have treated you so much better than those jerks, but he had accepted being there for you as you cried over those assholes, ignoring the throbbing in his chest and groin and comforting you the best he could. 

But then you had returned home from boarding school. Felix had thought you couldn't get more pretty than you already were, but you had. Your figure had filled out and you had become more confident. Your clothes had become skimpier and your legs longer and everything about you was just meant to taunt him.

You were irresistible, and he knew his dad was feeling your effect too, but to walk into this. 

Felix watched guiltily, his stomach roiling with jealousy and arousal and you gripped his dad's hair, bucking wilding into his face. He stumbled back, crashing into a coat rack. Your eyes shot up, meeting him and he looked away guiltily. 

He hurriedly bowed, stuttering out an apology, but you stopped the flow of words, crooking a finger at him. He stared at you in disbelief, and you nodded. He bounded over, ever the happy puppy and you turned over, on your hands and knees, presenting your ass to your daddy. He grinned at you, as Felix gripped your chin, kissing you sweetly as he fiddled with the zipper on his pants. You helped him, releasing him from the prison his pants had become.

Your mouth watered. How was it possible for a cock to be pretty? He was large as well and you stuck our tongue out, giving it a hesitant lick. He groaned and encouraged, you took him in your mouth, gagging around his girth. 

You moved slowly at first, getting used to his cock as his hands lodged themselves in your hair controlling your movements. You were so distracted you forgot about Chris, right up until you felt a hot heat brushing against your entrance. 

Chris chuckled darkly, the head of his cock nudging the walls of your pussy apart as he spears you open. You moan helplessly around Felix’s cock as he bottoms out, his cock impossibly deep in you.

His voice is a rasp when he speaks. “Look at you, a perfect little slut for Daddy. Taking your step-brother's cock so good.” You clench and he laughs. “You like that?”

He begins to move, long harsh thrusts that you feel in your gut, and Felix begins to fuck your face as well. You feel used, like a perfect little fuckdoll.

You love every minute of it. 

Chris leans over you, grunting those sexy words into your ear. “Look at you, taking daddy’s cock so well, like you were made for us.”

Felix’s pretty moans tangle with your own, creating a symphony of wounds. Felix speaks his voice full of wonder, “She’s so pretty, so perfect for us.” 

Chris chuckles, slapping your ass as Felis whimpers. 

You feel so full and perfect, your stomach pulsing with heat as you moan around Felix helplessly, trying to communicate with them. Felix speaks, his voice throaty. “I think she's cumming.”

Chris speeds up his thrusts. “You cumming around daddy’s cock you dirty girl?”

You moan helplessly and he chuckles, landing a harsh slap on your ass. “Felix, fuck her face. She likes it rough.” He nods, and obeys, gripping your cheeks and fucking you roughly. It's so unlike your sweet Felix, the kind boy with the sunshine smile, it makes you clench around Chris’s cock one more time. 

Chris feels it and his thrusts falter. “You want Daddy’s cum?” You nod helplessly, tears streaming down your face, muffled moans 

He flicks your clit and you come, screaming around Felix’s cock as he cums down your throat with a pretty moan. Chris grunts as he cums inside you, his thick cum dripping out of your hole as he pulls out. Felix lets your head fall forward, petting your hair as he pulls his still-hard cock out of your mouth. 

He looks up at his dad, “Can I have a turn?”

You whimper in response, pushing him down and sinking down on his length, Chris’s cum dripping out of your pussy. You both moan as he bottoms out, the stretch of a cock burning ever so slightly as he bucks up into you.

Big dick jeans run in the family it seems.

You hear footsteps and Chris grips your hair roughly, pulling your face up to look at him. Felix grips your hips and begins to fuck you down on him and you moan as Chris speaks again. “Do you like being used, pretty girl? You like being our obedient little fucktoy?” 

At your moan of acceptance, he chuckles, dropping your head and coming back around. You squeal as his fingers come in contact with your other hole, prying it open as he spits inside. Felix pulls you down into a kiss, still hammering inside you as his tongue fucks your mouth. Chris lines up his cock with your ass and without so much as a warming, bottoms out. You scream, overwhelming amounts of pain and pleasure rocking you.

You don't think you've ever taken so many large cocks at the same time.

Chris grunts, slapping your ass as he begins to thrust and matches pace with Felix as he grunts out, “Such a good little girl. Taking Daddy’s cock better than your mother ever did.”

You clench around him shamefully at the mention of your mother, your pride souring. He chuckles as Felix swallows your moans. 

“I've wanted to fuck you since you got back, Felix too. You're so irresistible, baby girl.”

Your fingers are drawing scratches in Felix’s freckled back as you clutch him tightly, Moaning up a storm as two cock drill into you, rendering you dumb and speechless.

You almost feel like they're fucking your brain out, and you clench around them, feeling that ever-present coil in your stomach tightens. 

Felix moves his hands, letting his dad control your hips and using them instead on your boobs, his lith fingers working magic on your hard nipples. You reward him by sucking hickeys into his pretty neck and he does the same, whimpering out your name as he bucks into you. You can tell he's going to cum and you are so close, almost there.

They both speed up their thrusts and Felix moves his hand, his fingers drawing small fast circles on your clit. With an embarrassingly loud moan, you cum, falling back onto Felix’s chest with a pant. 

Felix follows shortly after, pumping his cum into your greedy pussy. His dad follows not long after, with an unfairly attractive grunt.

He pulls out, and you feel their mixed seed dripping out of your fluttering holes, down your legs and onto the carpeted floor of the livingroom, dirtying your mothers favorite rug. 

Felix hoists you up, carrying you upstairs and settling you gently on his bed, stroking your hair as they clean you up. 

There's a lot that needs to be talked about, but for now, you pull them down with you, cuddling up with them as you drift off, surrounded by the people who care about you. 

originally posted on ao3 on 2023-05-29

reposted to tumblr on 2023-06-08

[armpirate]

Soundleasure | Choi San || CH. 11

Pairings: Soft!San x fem!reader || Strangers to lovers, fake dating

Genre: smut, angst, fluff, online sex, ghosting

Warnings: inexperienced!San, fem!reader, masturbation, online sex, camboy, first times.

Summary: You can do whatever you please and be whoever you want on the Internet. And San knew that a little bit too well.

After finally following all the signs the universe was throwing at him, he started living a double life that no one was aware of. Everyone in his daily life knew him as Choi San, the reserved and quiet boy who wouldn't raise his voice, and would barely communicate with anyone outside of his comfort group. But only a few knew him as Soundleasure, the man with a sexy voice and a filthy mind that had their toes curling just with his narrations.

He never thought of the possibility of those two lives ever meeting, he had always tried for them to follow a parallel route and had always played safe to keep his friends from ever suspecting that side even existed. But his plans will start to crumble when he gets a little too close with one of his subscribers and she invades his real-self and altergo's universes without being able to stop it.

Y/n will not only help him to keep his secret from his circle, but will also show him there's more of Soundleasure in him than he'd like to admit. 

Previous || Next

MASTERLIST

Aprox. time of reading: 16 minutes

While the teacher was still going on on a topic he didn't pay attention to, San thought on how to reschedule his evening so he'd have time to record the content for the video and study after he met Y/n.

He didn't know why he rejected her at first the previous day, because he was dying to find the tiniest excuse to see her again. She offered it to him, and he rejected it without giving it a second thought. Not only that, but he also saw the way her glance turned sadder after his first refusal, letting disappointment take over it.

San didn't care how pathetic he'd seem sending her a text later to take back his decision, he didn't care how desperate he could seem by later saying he wanted to do it. He'd do many things like that just to hear her excited voice and her shy "Thank you" again.

He was so dumb for ever thinking of giving up the only chance he had.

When his phone buzzed, he couldn't help but smile at the idea of Y/n texting him to remind him about the plan they had. Although that smile suddenly turned into an annoying huff when he saw who it was.

Soulmate: Do you have something to do later?

San: Yes.

San: And can you stop changing your name on my phone??

Soulmate: It's better this way. It fits me more

San rolled his eyes before he changed his name back to the one he was saved as, before he touched his phone without his consent.

Woo: What are you going to do?

He hesitated on being straightforward with the answer. For his friends, Y/n and him were pretty much still together, it was nothing weird to keep treating her as his girlfriend with them.

San: I have plans with Y/n

Woo: Uhhhh

Woo: San and Y/n, sitting in a tree, KISSING

Probably he had known his friend for way too long, because he could clearly hear his voice singing that line while he read the text.

Woo: First comes love

Woo: Then comes marriage

San: What do you need?

He interrupted him, knowing Wooyoung would go on with the song lyrics if he didn't stop him.

Woo: My charger broke, can you buy me one?

San: Sure. Do you want me to bring it to your office?

Woo: Nahh, no worries

Woo: I'll borrow one from someone

Woo: Thank you!

And along with that text, the gif of a cute puppy sending kisses appeared on his screen right after.

Typical Wooyoung.

As the moment to see her got closer, his anxiety levels increased as well. He felt uneasy, nervous, unable to pre-plan all the possible scenarios that would lead after meeting Y/n. And, for a quick moment while he was on the bus to the mall, he was regretting ever telling her he'd agree on doing any of that. It was so ironic how he suddenly contradicted all the positive thoughts he could only think about not even two hours back.

Y/n: I'm waiting by the font

She let him know. San was aware she only did it to let him know where he was supposed to head as soon as he arrived at CambridgeSide, but that text added more pressure to the fact that he was just a few steps from facing her.

He was only a few minutes away, the fountain was right at the entrance and the bus stop wasn't that far away, but he for sure made it seem that it was further than it actually was. Whenever he took a step forward, he reconsidered what he was doing and took two steps back -he could tell those people around him thought he was crazy.

Y/n: I know it might seem like it, but I don't bite

How could he tell her that he actually wanted her to bite him, and suck him... and do everything she pleased to him.

Confused by her text, San lifted his eyes from his phone, catching a hand waving in the air not that far from where he was, aware that Y/n had been witnessing his weird walk and inner fight that kept making its way out of his mind.

—Ignore what you saw, please —he first said, as soon as he stopped in front of her.

—Why? —she giggled, standing up from the bench she was sitting at— I think it was cute.

She actually couldn't remember the last time a man was so nervous to meet up with her. She was so used to that toxic masculinity, as they tried to show off how confident they were, that seeing San struggling to meet up with her was kind of endearing.

—Did you come straight from class? —she pointed out, aware of his computer backpack hanging on his shoulder.

—Oh... yeah —he nodded, holding onto the strap.

—You should've told me. I'd have told you to meet up later.

By the way she was dressed, completely opposite to the laid back outfit she wore on Saturday night, he could tell she also came straight from her workplace.

—You also came straight from work —he noticed, pointing at the black briefcase that hung on her shoulder—. We should've met up later for you, not because of me. I usually take one hour to get home anyway.

Y/n giggled silently at his response, looking away just to get back to her neutral personality before she said something stupid or, even worse, blushed in front of him.

—I usually stay a bit longer in the office —she informed—, so technically speaking, it's the same. Let's not worry about that, then.

She made it so easy. She made everything so natural and light, that he wondered what was that thing that always made him doubt on whether to meet up with her or not.

—Why did we meet up here? —San finally asked, looking at the big "CS" sign on the top window of the building.

—Hmm, you agreed on faking the relationship in front of my dad —San nodded, encouraging her to continue—. I thought that maybe you'd need a bit of... tuning.

—Tuning? —he frowned.

She genuinely loved his style. San already gave the perfect college boyfriend with his gray hoodies and oversized t-shirts, but if she wanted her father to leave her alone with that whole thing, she needed a bit of help to turn him into the man that would go through the first filter in front of her father's eyes.

—What's wrong with me?

—Nothing —she answered fast—. You're fine.

Maybe a little bit too much.

—But you look like you're still in the first year of college, and I need you to look like you know what taxes are —she excused herself—. I knew if I told you I would do this, you wouldn't have agreed.

Although she wasn't exactly right. He probably would've hesitated a bit more at the idea of the var being a bit higher, but he probably would've ended up in the right same spot in front of her.

—It'll be just the outfit for the dinner —she added—. You won't have to pay for anything. I'll buy it for you, and you can keep everything.

—I guess that's right.

Her smile widened at his answer, squirming in excitement before her hand reached for his wrist over the fabric of his hoodie, dragging him inside the mall.

San didn't quite remember when was the last time he bought any clothes for himself, he was sure the hoodie he was wearing at that moment was part of his closet during his high school years. The only difference was that it looked a bit smaller than when he bought it back then.

They walked past several shops, although Y/n didn't even look at a single one of them. They moved all the way to one of the shops on the second floor, as if she had the whole route settled and nothing would manage to divert her from it.

As soon as they stepped inside, San could tell there was a huge difference in the vibe that store had in comparison to the others they walked past. There was barely anyone inside, except for the two assistants and the three suited middle-aged men looking around some of the hangers. The clothes were perfectly carved on the white tables, there wasn't a single wrinkle on either of them.

San followed her around the shop, while she looked through all the clothes that could convince her and, at the same time, fit him. Out of curiosity, he looked at the tag of one of the white shirts she had left back on the hanger before she continued with her search.

Three hundred bucks for a simple white shirt?

—Why don't we buy those clothes somewhere else? —he suggested— I'd rather you not have to sell a kidney for them.

She simply scoffed, finally lifting one of the dark blue shirts to his torso, checking the color with his skin.

—It's not like I can't afford it.

She left the shirt back to where it was, sighing.

Money wasn't a problem for her. Even after she gave up on half of her salary to keep two of her employees on her payroll, she still managed to save up some money. Unless it came to the repair of her car, which she knew would take her a few months of savings to be able to confront it.

—Still... there are shirts in other shops for fifteen dollars.

His comment almost got cut off by how close her hand was to his neck when she lifted another shirt, almost allowing him to feel the warmth of her body. Looking down at her was another big mistake, she was closer than expected, and he could almost feel his brain struggling to work out properly.

—My father would be able to tell straight away the shirt is fifteen dollars —she commented—. He's quite sensitive to fabrics and quality —she grimaced as she mentioned it—. I think this one would look good on you.

—That's why you didn't just tell me to buy formal clothes by myself?

—Ding ding ding —her fingertip hit gently the top of her nose as she momentarily turned to him—. If you're going to wear expensive clothes to fake to be my boyfriend, it's just fair I'm the one paying for them.

He continued following her around the shop, carrying the few things she kept picking up, along with two pairs of shoes.

As he zipped his pants and slid the belt through the thin spaces at the hip, he felt so strange. The pants were comfortable, and the fabric felt the nicest he had ever worn, but for some reason it didn't feel like him.

The curtain suddenly opened a bit, enough for Y/n to peek through it to see how it was going inside, causing San to jump and try to hide his exposed torso with the unbuttoned shirt.

—It's nothing I haven't seen already —she giggled at his slightly blushed cheeks.

She had seen further than just his torso in 4K on her screen, a few too many times since they started speaking, and he had been taking way too long inside the dressing room for her to think he could've needed help.

—If it makes you uncomfortable, I can wait outside though. I just wanted to check everything was alright.

—No, it's okay —he stopped her—. But come inside, the curtain is half opened.

After being aware, Y/n moved inside the wide dressing room he was at, closing the curtain behind her. Looking at him through the reflection, and admiring that new style on him, she was able to see how attractive that man actually was. He was already attractive, she liked his small details and how undercover all of his features went by his simple clothes. That style, and black as a color suited him in a way she didn't expect it would.

It was like his personality changed completely, and she could tell by the way his fingers moved up through his torso as he buttoned the shirt.

—If you stick it too inside, it'll be uncomfortable for you —Y/n mentioned, seeing the way his muscles started marking under the tight fabric of the shirt.

Her hands lowered to the edge of his pants, making him freeze on the spot as her fingers gently caressed his skin over his clothes while pulling the shirt up. When she looked up over his shoulder to check out his reflection in the mirror, their eyes finally met. Only then, hooked by those innocent and eager eyes, she was aware of how close she actually was, with her arms wrapped around him while her hands were still on his lower torso.

It was a gentle and simple touch with no further intentions, but somehow the environment got heavier once their eyes met. He didn't have to think of anything, he didn't need to come up with any fake scenarios, because the warmth of her body on his back was already doing all the work, feeling that familiar throb in a certain part of his body.

—Can you leave?

Y/n shortly frowned, looking up to him and having San looking down at her to reiterate how badly he needed her to get out of there before things turned worse.

—Please.

Before he could even finish pronouncing the word, her hands were already away from him and she stepped outside of the dressing room, assuring him she'd be waiting for him outside. San peeked through the curtain to make sure she was walking down the corridor, disappearing at the first turn to go back to the main shop.

He needed to get rid of the problem he was starting to have before it got worse.

—Okay. Disgusting things —his back was resting against the wall, while his head was thrown back as if that would help to eliminate every trace of proximity from her body.

When Y/n saw him again, she could tell he looked more relieved in comparison to how he looked when he was in the dressing room. Even the subtle tan of his skin disappeared for a moment back there.

—Is everything alright? —she finally asked.

—Yeah, it's just...

—It's okay —she rushed to say, when she realized how he was struggling to explain himself.

She crossed a limit, and San was too nice to tell her until it made him so nervous that he was forced to tell her to leave. She understood it.

He didn't dare to explain further, and confess she managed to bring out a side of him he didn't know existed. He didn't want to say out loud that he could go crazy with just a soft touch of her fingers.

—It'll be four hundred sixty five.

San squirmed at the price, making Y/n giggle at his reaction before she paid for the clothes with her credit card. She handed him the paper bag filled with his clothes and shoes, while she chatted with the assistant about one of the colognes on the shelves behind him.

—Yeah, my father went crazy looking for it —she commented—. I bet he'd love to know he won't have to order it online. Thank you so much —she smiled wide, attempting to step back.

—Thank you. Have a nice day —the young male answered back.

San followed her from behind, walking a bit faster to get to walk next to her as they exited the small shop. Right when he was about to speak, her ringtone blasted, getting her attention before he could even attempt to have it.

—I'm sorry. I really need to pick this one.

—Sure. I have to buy something, so I'll meet you up here when I'm done.

—Okay.

Before picking up the call, she waited for San to be far enough so he wouldn't be able to hear the call she was about to have. It wasn't like she felt like hiding it from anyone, but it just felt too complex to explain it at that moment.

—Miss Y/n? —a female voice asked from the other side.

She didn't really need her to tell where she was calling from. The number was saved, and it popped way too many times in the past two years for her not to recognize it.

—Yes. That's me —she sighed.

—Good afternoon, hope everything is going well. I'm Rebecca, from MST Clinic.

Y/n already knew that.

—I was calling to remind you there were a few tests pending from the biannual revision.

—Oh, shit —she muttered—. Sorry. I completely forgot.

—It's alright. We're here to remind you —despite not seeing her, Y/n could tell the lady was smiling just by her voice alone—. There was no date set, so I'm wondering if you have any preference...

—Next Wednesday could be?

She tried to remember whether she had any meeting scheduled or not, sure that she probably had nothing important for that day -and she'd probably be able to skip whatever came up.

—Wednesday... Eleven in the morning? —she suggested.

—Sure.

—I'd also like to ask: how have you been feeling? Has there been anything bothering you, any problems? Is your mobility correct?

—Hmm yes, for now. Since the last incident, I haven't had any problems.

—Have you adapted well to medication?

Considering she had been taking it for almost two years, it was quite obvious she adapted well to it. But she held back from letting out that harsh comment.

—Yeah, everything's fine.

—Okay, then —the woman sighed—. We'll see you on Wednesday. Have a nice day!

—Have a nice day you too.

Y/n took a quick look around, remembering how San mentioned he'd leave to buy something and come back shortly after, so she took the time to sit lean back on the crystal railing while she checked her phone -mainly concentrating on her emails and chats.

She lost track of how much time she stayed there, and how much time she spent there, but she lifted her head when she thought she had been there for a little bit too long.

And still no sign of San.

Her phone buzzed in her hand, thinking it could be him telling her to meet up somewhere else, or announcing he left, but a sigh of disappointment showed off when she saw her father on the screen.

—Where are you? I was going to invite you to eat something. Jennifer told me she didn't see you leaving for lunch today.

—Well, I'm on my way to have lunch right now —she sighed.

—By yourself? Send me the location and we'll eat together.

She was well aware her father had already eaten, but he was still offering to have lunch twice just so he'd eat, too.

—I'm not alone —she answered.

—Who are you with?

—My boyfriend —she rushed to say.

—That's great! Then send me the location so I can finally meet him.

—No.

—No? —a loud sigh came through the speaker— Why not?

—You'll scare him off. And he isn't ready to meet you.

—I'm eating no one —he tried to sound calm—. It'll be quick. It's either today, or this weekend. I'm just saying that, if it's on the weekend, it'll be just the three of us. You choose.

Which also meant he wouldn't hold back with some comments or questions.

—You shouldn't eat so much. What about a coffee instead? —she tried to negotiate.

—Deal —she felt relieved at her father giving in.

—I'm in CambridgeSide. See you at six, alright? At six —she remarked, hoping he wouldn't show up earlier.

And she agreed on meeting up with him when she had no idea where San was, she was the dumbest.

For a quick moment she thought that he possibly gave in to his instincts and left without telling her anything, although that thought disappeared when she saw him approaching her from afar. With one small difference.

At first she thought it was just the distance, then she wondered if he probably styled it differently while he went to do what he had to do. But the closer he was to her, the clearer it was that his hair looked shorter.

—I gotta go —she hung up at her father, unable to look away from him—. Your hair —she pointed out.

After he came out of one of the shops with Wooyoung's charger, he walked past a hair salon -not even taking two seconds to step back and stand outside of it. He wasn't sure at first, but there was something deep inside in him that was telling him to just do it. His hair wasn't a crazy length, just enough for it to be a headache to style it something, and to be forced to part his bangs because they'd get over his eyes if he didn't. It was a hairstyle that didn't fit with the clothes Y/n had bought for him, nor with the idea of the man her father wanted to meet.

A shorter hairstyle would probably work better.

—What?

—It looks good —she nodded, finally smiling.

—Ah, by the way —San started—. I'll pay for the clothes.

While he came up with several scenarios for the moment where he met a man he didn't even know the appearance of, the thought of Y/n paying for the bag that was resting over the small coffee table of the hair salon made him feel guilty. He got to the conclusion that the best thing he could do was to pay for all of the things that were in there.

—No, why? —she suddenly stopped, looking at him— I already told you it's my responsibility. Take it as a repayment?

—For what?

—You paid back my subscription —she reminded him—. And now I'm doing the same for you.

—Still...

—If you feel so bad, buy me something to eat —she interrupted him—. I haven't eaten all day, and I'm starving.

And she thought it'd also be a nice way to settle his role in front of her dad.

—You haven't eaten all day?

—No, I've been too busy to think about food —her head tilted to the side.

She had told him before how her stomach would completely go non-existent whenever her mind was focused on something, only able to feel hunger whenever she felt completely disconnected and in peace.

—You should've said it as soon as we met —he complained—. Let's go to eat something right now.

She wondered if it'd be a good idea to tell him then about what was going to happen, but then she thought that he'd probably get so nervous that he wouldn't take a single bite of his food.

She definitely couldn't tell him if she wanted him to enjoy a lunch he had been waiting for all day. 

[and-justice-for-zoisite]

𝕎𝕚𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟 𝕐𝕠𝕦 (Shang Tsung x Reader)

Official Masterlist

Summary: you have made it to the end of time, and everyone you once knew was gone - everyone but the evil sorcerer who enchanted you and gave you everything you could've asked for. But...was this what you really wanted?

-

A/N: so this one's just short and sweet, I got this idea randomly in my head so I artistically spewed all over my laptop and you guys get to read the mess!!

I wrote this based on the song Within you by David Bowie as well as the scene after the song in the movie Labyrinth. You'll notice the direct quotes from the movie, and all credit goes to the writers of labyrinth. I'll link both videos just below:

I just thought that the song and scene fit Shang Tsung's character so well and I simply couldn't help myself. So, enjoy! <3

-

How you turn my world, you precious thing, You starve and near exhaust me.

Here you were, at the very dawn and end of all time. Standing before you, was no one other than Shang Tsung.

Everything I've done, I've done for you, I move the stars for no one.

You had started to question your judgement a long while into his scheme, having had it prepared from the moment he escaped the hourglass with you, Fujin and Nightwolf. Ultimately, you had been loyal to him, and you never made it a habit to question him.

'He knew what was best for the two of you,' you'd tell yourself.

You've run so long, you've run so far, Your eyes can be so cruel, Just as I can be so cruel.

But was this what you really wanted?

Everyone you ever had a connection with, everyone you had ever known...they were now all gone, their lives extinguished by Shang Tsung's insatiable hunger for power. The weight of their absence bore heavily upon your heart, and the realization that you had become a pawn in his sinister game began to gnaw at your soul.

As you stood face to face with the embodiment of your servitude, doubts and fears welled up inside you like a tidal wave. The once blinding allure of power and control had faded, replaced by a deep longing for freedom and the restoration of the life you had lost.

Shang Tsung, sensing the turmoil within you, smirked knowingly, his eyes gleaming with a predatory glint.

"Come now, (Y/n)," Shang began, his tone tempting, "is this not what you wanted? Together, we can reshape the realms to our liking. No longer shall we be bound by the constraints of mortality or the fleeting connections of a fragile world."

His words hung in the air, seductive and dangerous. The temptation to embrace the darkness, to let go of the pain and forge a new existence, tugged at the edges of your consciousness.

"...this..." you said, just above a whisper as you shook your head, "...this isn't what I wanted. You...you took away so many innocent people, removed them from existence after giving them an agonising death. I wanted us to rule together, sculpt the sands of time by both our hands but..."

You shuddered, refusing to look at him.

"...had I known you'd kill so many innocent people, I would never have gone through with this scheme of yours."

Shang Tsung's facade of amusement faded, replaced by a flicker of annoyance. He had expected compliance, not resistance from you. His eyes narrowed, his voice tinged with irritation.

"You dare question my methods now? After all we've been through, all the power I've bestowed upon you?" he spat, his words dripping with venom.

You took a step back, the weight of his anger pressing against you like a suffocating force. But you stood your ground, drawing strength from the memory of those who had been lost.

"...you...you used me for my divine status. You corrupted me," you quavered, feeling tears prick your eyes though you would never give this man the satisfaction of tears. "I should've listened to my brothers when they told me to stay away, and...now they're dead, gone."

"(Y/n), beware. I have been generous up until now. I can be cruel," Shang warned you. "Generous?," you questioned him, your brows furrowed. "What have you done that's generous?"

"Everything!" he snapped, grabbing you roughly by the wrist as he made you look at him, "everything that you wanted I have done. You asked that I remove the obstacles of our love, I removed them. You cowered before me, I was frightening. I have reordered time. I have turned the world upside down, and I have done it all for you!"

His expression softened, as did his grip on your wrist.

"I am exhausted from living up to your expectations. Isn't that generous?"

You stared at Shang Tsung, his words echoing in your mind. Even if you could go back now, your brothers would never forgive you for courting with this beast of a person. Being a protector of Earthrealm and a water goddess, you failed your duties to safeguard the innocent and maintain the delicate balance of the realms. The weight of your failures crushed upon your shoulders, and a deep sorrow washed over you.

As much as you loved this man, as much as he had lulled you into a false sense of security, was there for you when you were at your lowest points, when you were hurting, when you were lonely...you couldn't help but think, did he do that because he cared? Or was it all part of his scheme? From the very beginning?

Though, at this point, what other choice did you have?

You were far too late.

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your slave."

He was under your skin, and there was nothing you could do about it.

In submission, you leaned into him, allowing him to wrap and arm around your waist while the other wielded a powerful magic, one which served to shape the sands of time to his liking.

How sick you were for loving this man so.

-

[foxes-that-run]

I don't wanna live forever

In the video Zayn arrives in a classic convertible, similar to Blank Space. She 'called out' Harry's cars in KoMH "'Cause all the boys and their expensive cars / With their Range Rovers and their Jaguars"

Then the hotel looks a lot like the Bowery Hotel where Harry stays in NY. Also, not to sound flippant... but it's Zayn and Taylor.

Harry and Taylor refer to Hallways in 10 songs and in the Perfect MV.

There are white roses throughout which Taylor pulls apart. Since Red, TS Roses have been about Harry, he has a rose tattoo. On their May anniversary in 2013, she posted roses saying she thought something would grow. She threw white roses in the Blank Space MV.

The people in the background are dressed like Harry and Taylor at the Victoria Secret show, which is also the subject of So it Goes.

They trash the hotel room, which mocks Perfect's MV. 1D's made a mess, Taylor and Zayn smash a mirror and a lamp.

i don't wanna live forever came together very quickly. wrote it with taylor and sam dew and produced it at home mostly on paper sounds. recorded taylor at my house. zayn sent parts from LA – we did it in a week basically. i've never had something come out that quick — jackantonoff (@jackantonoff) December 9, 2016

Zayn said that Jack approached him, then Zayn spoke to Taylor who already knew the track. I think given the importance of Jack and Taylor's relationship it's more likely Taylor choose Zayn and Jack was an intermediary than Jack raising it.

The collaboration itself is enough to confirm who it is about and caused a directioner-swiftie Twitter fandom storm. Many viewed it as a way for them both to mess with Harry, I think in part it is a response to Perfect. To suggest it's not about Harry for either is... a choice.

When was it written

Jack and Taylor were in the studio recording the bulk of Reputation in September 2016, Zayn was was in LA then, so maybe. But Fifty shades wrapped in April 2016 and it was likely wanted then.

Live performances

Taylor performed it 7 times in promotional events and then only twice in concert, interestingly both times was it the first week of June:

June 9, 2018, Manchester's Reputation Surprise Song. They were in a good (and maybe more) place then. Also Harry's hometown (he was in Florida)

June 3, 2023, Chicago Eras surprise song. It is sadder that above, the MH split announcement was 2 days later so maybe related. Haylor relations seemed warm before and after that.

Taylors split from CH and Harry left to shoot Dunkirk in June 2016. From I did something bad / High Infidelity / Ole we know CH was over earlier and they had spent some time together in February and April 2016. Playing this in June, when Harry left for Dunkirk and his IG going colour after the 2016 Met Gala has me side eyeing the end.

Lyrics

[Verse 1: ZAYN] Been sittin' eyes wide open Behind these four walls, hopin' you'd call It's just a cruel existence Like there's no point hopin' at all

Eyes wide open is a reference to Eyes wide Shut, the Stanley Kubrick erotic psychological drama. Like Fifty shades is features a masquerade party.

Harry and Taylor refer to waiting for calls in: AYHTDWS "Here you are now, calling me up, but I don't know what to say" August "Cancel plans just in case you'd call". Maroon "the rust that grew between telephones" FTDT "Even my phone misses your call, by the way"

Cruel existence is a theme of referring to their relationship as something they are trapped in. Cruel Summer "It's a cruel summer with you", MMIH "Cause once you go without it / Nothing else will do" and others. Taylor also had no hope in Treacherous "This hope is treacherous"

[Pre-Chorus: ZAYN] Baby, baby, I feel crazy Up all night, all night and every day Give me somethin', oh, but you say nothin' What is happening to me?

Taylors pre-chorus is the same but "I gave you somethin', but you gave me nothin'"

IWYW has a similar line "You always knew how to push my buttons / You give me everything and nothing" and Say "don't go" "I said, "I love you" (I said, "I love you") / You say nothin' back"

[Chorus: ZAYN] I don't wanna live forever 'Cause I know I'll be living in vain And I don't wanna fit wherever I just wanna keep calling your name Until you come back home x2

Taylor has referred to not wanting a life without Harry in Is it over now? "Oh, Lord, I think about / Jumping off of very tall somethings" Hoax " Stood on the cliffside / Screaming, "Give me a reason"" This is me trying "Pulled the car off the road to the lookout / Could've followed my fears all the way down"

In Where do broken hearts go "Now I'm searching every lonely place / Every corner calling out your name / Tryna find you but I just don't know / Where do broken hearts go?"

I don't want to fit wherever seems a response to Perfect "Or the arms that hold you any time you want them / But that don't mean that we can't live here in the moment / 'Cause I can be the one you love from time to time". HS had not been available because of the band, but wasn't in 2016 when Taylor wanted someone there for her but I expect was focused on his solo career and Dunkirk so not in the band or available. To me this line could be why it still didn't work out.

[Verse 2: Taylor Swift] I'm sittin' eyes wide open And I got one thing stuck in my mind Wonderin' if I dodged a bullet Or just lost the love of my life, oh

In second Verse Taylor has let it go, dodged a bullet/lost the love of her life is pretty straight forward - but it's an interesting link to Love of my Life on Harry's House which was still 6 years away. (yes I know his only 13th track on the album he released on their 10th anniversary is about England.... ....)

[Bridge: Taylor Swift, ZAYN, Both] I've been looking sad in all the nicest places Baby, baby, I feel crazy I see you around in all these empty faces Up all night, all night and every day I've been looking sad in all the nicest places Give me somethin', oh, but you say nothin' Now I'm in a cab, I tell 'em where your place is What is happening to me?

Looking sad in all the nicest places reminds me of:

This is me trying: "And it's hard to be at a party / When I feel like an open wound/ It's hard to be anywhere these days / When all I want is you"

Hit's different "Freedom felt like summer then on the coast / Now the sun burns my heart and the sand hurts my feelings"

Take the cab to his place is also similar to other times they go to each others house:

DBATC: "I Take the long way home"

Wish You Would. "It's 2 A.M. in your car / Windows down, you pass my street / The memories start" and "It's 2 A.M. in your car / Windows down, I pass my street / The memories start"

[Outro: Taylor Swift, ZAYN] I just wanna keep callin' your name Until you come back home Until you come back home

Finally, home is an important concept to them. Generally, they refer to each other as home. However in this song and Sweet Creature, "Wherever I go, you bring me home Sweet creature, sweet creature When I run out of road, you bring me home"

Sweet Creature and IDWLF were both written in 2016 they refer to HS coming home to her.

The lyric 'And I don't wanna fit wherever / I just wanna keep calling your name / Until you come back home". Is a hope that eventually they will be together, but accepting not yet. This idea is in several songs:

HYGTG "Broke your heart, I'll put it back together / I would wait for ever and ever (I want you for ever and ever)"

Suburban Legends " When you told me we'd get back together / And you kissed me in a way that's gonna screw me up forever"

Someday "Someday maybe when we're old and gray / We could be in love once more / Till then I won't give my love away / Darling, I'm forever only yours"

Something Great: "One day, I'll come into your world and get it right / I'll say we're better off together here tonight"

Happily "We were meant to be but a twist of fate / Made it so you had to walk away."

Satellite "Spinning out, waiting for ya to pull me in / I can see you're lonely down there"