#so my creativity comes and goes so its hard for me to write a specific fic at one time

[bigcowboydyke]

about your disability pride month post: is there anything important/significant you think people should take notes on when writing a character with an upper arm prosthetic? (like starting from the elbow if i phrased correctly)?

Yeah! I think the biggest is that you ought to consider first, esp if its an OC, your reasoning for making the character disabled- you wanna make sure you're not fetishizing or exploiting their disability to prop up abled characters. I've got a list of questions for authors to ask themselves along those lines that I can post or dm

Secondly, you have to consider what level of realism you wanna go with. If you have a character where, in universe, the prosthesis functions in exactly the way an arm does, you could just go with that if you want - it's the path of least resistance, right? BUT you ought to consider that most prostheses in media exist in that way AT THE EXPENSE of good representation of disability. Erasing disability or "curing" it with magical prostheses IS a form of ableism that is so pervasive it just goes unnoticed by most. I believe personally that disabled bodies are worth portraying well even when the creators of the source material did not do that. SO if you want to go with real well thought our representation, here are some common things I think authors and artists often miss (specifically as it pertains to upper limb prostheses):

1) I already said this, but seriously, I cannot emphasize enough that upper limb prosthetics ain't cheap and are usually uncomfortable. Your character, if they are poor, or even like middle class, won't have access to multiple high tech popular mechanics cover story type robo arms. Even if they did ...

2) Not all limb different folks use prosthetics! I personally have used multiple and I disliked them. I tried very hard to learn, but there are multiple requirements to be able to use each model and sometimes, a lot of times actually, limb different people - especially people without a hand or an arm function Better without prosthetics. Be aware in your art that limb different people are Whole. How you ask can somebody without an arm, say, do all that stuff?

3) Consider the idea of adaptation in your writing and art instead of relying only on magicking disability away with prosthetics. Disabled People live in a world full of barriers and tend to be Very creative about navigating it, adapting to our environment through just being a little clever about how we do things is the biggest way i see other people with upper limb differences interact with the world. There are three main ways that we go about this without prosthetics: Using adaptive equipment, Finding an alternate method, or as a last resort, asking for help.

Example 1: I have like 1.5 arms ok so obviously only 1 hand, and I need to clip my fingernails every once in a while. The obvious solution to me, while it may seem gross, is just to bite them off. Bad habit, but efficient. I could use those horrible little nail clippers, with my remaining stump and a little finagling but it takes forever. I could also get some adaptive nail clippers - they make great big handled ones for ppl that can't grab the little ones. Or, I could ask my partner to trim them, but I'm usually too proud to do that. Let disabled people have their flaws too lol!

Example 2: I love to rock climb. This is where adaptive equipment comes in. I could slip off a rock climbing wall pretty easily right? So bouldering (rock climbing without harnesses) is totally inaccessible to me. But if I go to a gym that has harnesses, then that's fine - they catch me if I fall and that's adaptive for me.

Adaptive equipment comes in many shapes and sizes and can be regular items repurposed.

3. If after all that you Must create art or write about an OC or preexisting character that uses upper limb prosthetics, consider that in general, limb different people's prosthetics are not equivalent to having two arms. Prosthetics are only practical for limb different people if they enhance your life or are useful in some way, however, getting one high tech enough to do that is unlikely because they are expensive. There are different groups, clinics, and charities that make lower cost options but they tend to be much lower tech than is depicted (and often are clunky). My first prosthetic was a long flat piece of metal, similar to a doctors tongue depressor, attached to a plaster cuff velcroed around my stump. The idea was that since I had a little bit of stump poking out, I could pin objects against the metal and it would work like a crab's pincers. It was okay, but I did accidentally smack many. Many. Things with it, including my own face and since it was metal, that was unpleasant. Obviously hindered more than helped. Also it did not look even remotely like a hand.

4. Which prosthetics you can get generally depend on what you got on you. Literally. Bodily. With upper limb prostheses, If you don't have an elbow or wrist, your options are almost exclusively limited to the pricier electric options that are both super futuristic, unavailable to many, and also like new car priced. Many of the manual, non-electric models depend on the ability to flex a wrist or elbow, so if you have those things are a little more accessible overall. It also matters whether you are born limb different like me, or if you are an amputee. Amputees are more likely to be candidates for prostheses than people like me because they have all those preexisting muscles and nerves for prosthetics that are higher tech and require surgical attachment Also prosthetics might be an easier learning curve, and more useful for somebody who has been abled bodied than it would be for somebody who never had that limb in the first place.

5. This is a little thing and ... Not to get too medical with it ( and neither should yall) but limb different people often have physical changes associated with lack of or loss of limb. If you do not have a limb, you are not going to be developing the muscles that are surrounding it in the way an a nondisabled person would. Again for example I have 1.5ish arms which means I've got plenty of stump on my "affected" limb. Even when I did Varsity sports and everything, I was never able to get beefy on that side. It is a pet peeve of mine that many people do not seem to get this - Most art I see of vash the stampede has him with two super beefy shoulders and like yeah i get it that's hot, but if hes got roughly the same amount of stump as me, he probably shouldn'tlook like that. Another thing in this vein is chronic pain is associated with limb loss and limb difference- I have it and its reasonable that any prosthetic user or nonprosthetic using limb different person is more likely to have it. Again these are little things but if you're looking to do good representation you need to consider that limb difference is not just a cool little stylistic choice to make a character look tough or what have you - limb loss and limb difference mean that that character will not only think differently than abled bodied people, but move differently, pose differently, have different routines and preferences than are ever represented in most media. Disability is not a style, and it's not a diagnosis, it's an identity. It's important above all to be respectful of that by letting go of centering able-bodied expectations and aesthetic in your art and writing. Hard to do but i believe in y'all!

Hope that helps! I've also got a bunch of links to go along with these points, if you want them lmk! I'm always happy to take asks about this stuff!

Tl;dr please consider making characters that don't use prosthetics, or don't use them excessively because it's more realistic, better representation, and makes me, a disabled dyke on the internet, really happy.

Lastly if y'all liked my advice and appreciate my time you are always welcome to tip me for it - my c*sh*pp is $neptunedrive

[orionsangel86]

The Problem With Thessaly

I’m sure plenty of fans would agree with me that there are certain elements of the Sandman comics that are going to be very difficult to adapt for television. I don’t envy the mammoth task Neil and the creative team on the show have ahead of them. But one element in particular which has been on my mind frequently is how they are going to introduce Thessaly to our screens.

It’s not just that she’s a TERF. It’s that she’s a cold, cruel, selfish, and inconsiderate bitch who only ever thinks about herself. Oh yeah, and she’s a huge TERF. There isn’t a single likeable element to her.

And yet.

We are supposed to somehow believe that our main protagonist, idiotic as he may sometimes be, depressed and seriously down on his luck as he is, will fall head over heels in love with her.

Sorry. But it ain’t happening. Something has gotta change. So here are my thoughts on how they could fix the Thessaly Problem.

Under a cut for comic spoilers (and its a bit long)

I kinda get the reason it happens in the comics. Kinda. I can’t remember the exact quote, or where I read it, but Neil explained it as “two people who you know are absolutely not right for each other and no one who knows them can understand why they are together.” He purposely wrote it to be a really weird match that didn’t make sense.

From Dream’s perspective, at this point in the story he has just had some of his biggest romantic disasters slapped in his face (at one point literally) all within a very short space of time for an entity as long lived as him. First Calliope, then Nada, and then Alianora, and he is hurting from all of them. Having to face his romantic failures one after another within the space of a few years AFTER having to go through 70 odd years of relentless suffering trapped in a glass prison has GOT to mess with your head. So I think Thessaly is basically the worst rebound in history. They are only canonically together for a few weeks but he somehow falls head over heels for this plain, dull, horrible person. 100% this is a rebound. He’s messed up. So yeah, I kinda get it.

From Thessaly’s perspective it seems she just really liked the idea of being the object of someones attention and desire even though she never returned his feelings and left him the minute he stopped devoting all his attention to her (god she really is a bitch).

So why don’t I think this will work in the show?

Because the show is a kinder universe than the comic. Dream is different in the show. He is already more thoughtful, warm, compassionate, and has a better self awareness when it comes to his shortcomings. He’s also a far more romantic character in the show, which is probably thanks to Tom Sturridge’s excellent performance and likeability and absolutely maddening sexual chemistry with literally every character he interacts with (his pretty face doesn’t hurt either). You just have to look at his scenes with Calliope to know that they are playing up the romance and kindness there when in the comics Dream is extremely cold to Calliope throughout their very short interactions.

Given the news that the writing team on Game of You will include trans writers specifically to cover the sensitivities of honouring Wanda, I don’t know how they will adapt the transphobia she suffers at Thessaly’s hand, or whether they will include that at all - personally I think they should remove it. Not to make Thessaly more likeable, but because it reinforces a really wrong view of witchcraft and magick that modern witches and pagans are working extremely hard to reject. Not to get too deep into these topics, but transphobia is a fucking plague in those communities and the last thing we need is more people thinking everyone who practices witchcraft is a fucking TERF. The comic even goes so far as to imply the actual MOON is transphobic. Like WTF? The moon isn’t fucking transphobic and “womb magic” is stupid. If I ever have to read the words “divine feminine” in a witchcraft FB group again I’m gonna scream.

Anyway my point is that I don’t think those scenes in the comic are necessary and there are plenty of other ways to adapt that story without resorting to transphobia.

The other issue is that if they do keep it in, they somehow have to deal with the fact that their protagonist is seemingly totally cool with dating a transphobic murderous bitch. Um. Yeah, not cool Dream. I think the show is going to do everything it can to make Dream MORE likeable and based on what we have seen so far I definitely think that’s the route they are taking.

So yeah Dream won’t be falling in love with a TERF in the show, that I am sure of.

The thing is, the best way they can deal with the Thessaly problem is also the simplest - Don’t include her. Just don’t write her into the show. Simples.

Because we already have a character in the show universe who technically doesn’t exist in comic canon, who knows magic and the occult, and who is MUCH more likeable and kind whilst still being a bit messy and selfish and totally a terrible match for Dream... Oh, and who also happens to be played by possibly the most well known actor on the shows main cast list.

Johanna Constantine.

Jenna Coleman is a fairly big name and one of the primary stars for the show. At least Netflix seemed to think so since her face was all over the marketing and she was included in basically every cast interview, even though her character only turns up in 1 and a half episodes. She is also playing a new version of an already well known character in pop culture and I am convinced Netflix is already considering spin off options for her. So there is no way they aren’t going to include her in future episodes of the Sandman.

Except thats where Netflix has a problem if it wants to stick to comic canon. Lady Johanna Constantine only turns up in one more Sandman story, and John Constantine doesn’t show up again at all in the comics.

So my piece of speculation that I’m almost 90% certain will happen, is that they will bring back modern Johanna Constantine in an extended or adapted role based on another character.

My money is on Thessaly. Remove Thessaly, replace her with Johanna.

I’m not just saying this because I think Johanna and Morpheus hooking up will be hot (it will be, don’t deny it. My bisexual ass knows a hot couple when I see them). But because it makes sense.

Yeah okay we have that pesky little rule about the Endless not dating mortals - but that rule currently doesn’t exist in show canon either, so theres no reason why they can’t just also scrap that for the sake of some sexy, messy, and definitely disastrous bi4bi action.

All jokes aside, with only a few tweaks to the story in a Game of You, you could seemlessly fit Johanna into it. She can be in New York for a specific case, hell, maybe Barbie and the sudden appearance of Martin Tenbones on a busy New York street IS the case she’s investigating? She can still find a way to break Hazel and Foxglove into the Dreaming AND when Morpheus shows up they can have another tantalising showdown like they did in episode 3. It works better with Johanna tbh. She actually cares about people, the motivation is there for her to want to save Barbie and protect people from supernatural sources. We can just make the storm and the collapse of the apartment block be caused by George or the cuckoo or something (or not have it happen at all since I am also practically certain that Wanda is NOT going to die in the show).

This ALSO means that much later on, when Lyta is having her breakdown and destroying the Dreaming, having Johanna being the one to protect her from Morpheus rather than Thessaly also adds a more human element to it. Morpheus has never been a killer, but sometimes his duties demand it. He goes to kill Lyta to prevent the Kindly Ones destroying the Dreaming. If it is Johanna blocking him instead of Thessaly, their motives align. Johanna would protect Lyta for the simple fact that she won’t let a supernatural creature harm a human (as much as she can - sorry Kevin), and Morpheus, being hesitant about killing anyway, would be easily talked out of it by Johanna. “Find another way to save the Dreaming, I won’t let you harm her.”

It just adds an emotional weight that isn’t there with Thessaly, who only protects Lyta because she made a deal with the Kindly Ones in exchange for more centuries of life - an ironic request when Morpheus (and Death) are keeping Hob Gadling alive simply so he can be Dream’s BFF.

It just works for me. Scrap the “no mortals” rule and you can have them have the messy disastrous relationship that doesn’t work out. It is far more believable that Johanna Constantine could break Dream’s heart - she’s already a known heartbreaker in the show (sorry Rachel). It’s a doomed love story a modern audience can get behind, makes sense, the actors already have insane sexual chemistry, and it could definitely hit all those story beats needed to get the show to a version of the Kindly Ones whilst also actively improving it.

I may first and foremost be a Dreamling shipper, but talking in terms of canon I very much want Morpheus to have a passionate short-lived heart breaking affair with Johanna. Fuck Thessaly. Keep her relegated to comic canon. Morphanna all the way.

And THAT is how we fix the problem with Thessaly.

[undrgrnd-nft]

Tezos Goes Big

I really didn’t want to write this, I swear. I have real work to do, podcasts to edit and my daughter is home sick; but, it’s like holding in a sneeze, when I have something to say it’s best to get it out.

This is not about the @tezos event at Art Basel Miami. It may be what is driving the conversation but this is not really about the displays in a lobby of a hotel.

This is the culmination of years of disrespect to a driving force of adoption and endemic of the crypto space (and society) at large.

Art rejuvenating dead space is not a novel concept. In fact, in Miami, there’s an entire area that could have been used as a template by all blockchains. It’s called Wynnewood, look it up and you’ll get the New York Times article I reference all the time.

What was once an industrial park became a hub for restaurants, music and entertainment: culture.

Why? Because some graffiti artists began painting on the cold gray walls of a concrete jungle.

Did those artists share any of the financial gain brought to the neighborhood? No, but think of the exposure!

Web3 was not built by nor built for creatives like us (yea, I’m putting myself in that group, shut up about it). It was built by boys and men that look, talk and act like me (white, male, presumable douchey based on appearance) but lack a moral and emotional foundation.

They use the right words, have picked up key phrases and platitudes, but at the core it’s not about the things many of us value. It’s not about art.

It’s not about a reorganization of institutions that were built to keep specific classes, races and sexes subservient.

It is not building a utopian-Marxist future where the moral and decent are rewarded financially for their collective effort.

Look at the state of streaming services: Netflix, Hulu, Paramount, Peacock, Max. What was once meant to disrupt the cable industry has now become Cable Networks 2.0.

The same is true in crypto. What started as a revolution has become a hype parade led by influencers masquerading as cultural relevance.

Remember the @TezosFoundation Permanent Collection drama? In a Twitter space shortly after things began to spiral downward, one of the leads made a comment on the criticisms, “if this is the response maybe we won’t do this again.”

We all knew it then.

But many of us came here to create something better. So we, many of them my friends, gave second chances, put a positive spin on it and took their opportunity when it was offered.

I was jealous.

Because I would have done the same.

UNDRGRND is just me: a stay at home dad, taking care of a toddler who disrupts the means of production constantly. I know how hard it is to put together something and share it with an audience.

But so does every artist I write about.

So when we watch people with large budgets, people who are able to make a living on crypto already, getting paid to present the work of others and the result is done with the level of care it takes to hang a Missing Cat poster on a telephone pole, it’s infuriating.

Many of the artists I’ve gotten to know over these past three years were creative directors in their web2 lives. Do you know what they could have done with a fraction the amount of money @tezos has in its war chest?

It’s disrespectful.

It always has been.

I’m going to push post on this in a few minutes and the anxiety is rising. I know others are going to criticize what I’m launching in the coming months.

I’m in a glass house throwing rocks.

The difference is I’m not deluded enough to think I have all the answers or have an ego like I’ve done anything yet.

I’m just a guy writing about the things I like while my four-year-old sleeps on me.

This was never about the display.

It was about the devaluation of creatives for years and the continuation of a broken social contract that promised an idealistic future.

So heed the lesson because we’re tired of this shit.

And I’m fucking coming…

- Founder of UNDRGRND, @NFTjoe

[squid789]

17, 24, 27, 28

Always interested in learning about other’s writing process! :)

Oh hi there!!! New friend!!

17. talk about your writing and editing process

Hmmmmm, I feel like its changed a lot recently, especially since I started working with beta readers (everyone say hi to @eomma-jpeg and @re-l!). So I will be specifically talking about the process for After Eden! I was still writing Sea Foam when Lace and I came up with AE, mostly because I was reevaluating Blank Ticket. We swapped ideas for days and eventually we had a 14 page document that went from just a few plot points I wanted to hit to a couple of arcs in order. And then I left this document for a month or two because of work obligations! But in my downtime, I started to plan the first arc’s chapters, still with loose details. I usually try to get a good count of how many chapters are gonna be in the arc so I have a bit of a map to go off of. And when I start a new chapter, I’ll take some time to plan out the chapter details scene by scene. In chapter 17 for example I wanted to further the NLBC drama and look, it's another lunch club scene! Because those are fun to write and I really like writing Stefan, but he doesn’t know what Meryl is after, so what does Meryl do about that? Gets nosey! And that was about as much detail as I’ll ever go into for planning. Writing is a lot more fluid I think. Because sometimes you’ll add a detail or a line of dialogue and it changes the trajectory of the chapter or even the story! And I really love when that happens! Because it’s, like, wow this feels real and the characters are doing neat things! The chapters for AE are a lot longer than either BT or SF and just because of the content right now, along with general burn out, it does take me a lot longer to get chapters out. Some folks may remember the insane posting schedule of BT. And then comes editing!! I usually give chapters a quick read over before handing them off to my betas. There are a few typos that I do make consistently, so ctrl F is my best friend! While typos are definitely controlled for, I usually ask lace and re-l to focus more on pacing and flow because I want it to be a well written story. Sometimes I get it one, but other times I have to rewrite whole sections. As the writer I do have final say in how editing goes, but I do respect their opinions and expertise and there’s something really nice about creating with friends! Probably way more detailed than you were looking for but I’m procrastinating on chapter 18 rn so oh well!

24. how do you recharge when you’re not feeling creative?

Oh man. I really don’t know. There was a period of time early this year where I might have been going through a depressive episode or something and ending up deleting most of my creative works off the internet for a while, After Eden and some ficlets included. I could not touch my tablet or my laptop for weeks without feeling absolute dread. But man I still kept trying to strong arm into creating and that was a bad bet. DON’T DO THAT!!!! So these days, I’ve been throwing myself into Stardew Valley and just swapping au ideas with friends! Makes it a little easier! When work starts back up next month, I’ll have another distraction >:3

27. your favorite part of the writing process

Definitely brainstorming!! It’s just so incredibly fun playing with scenes in my head or even with friends because nothing is set in stone yet. So the possibilities are endless! I am still definitely doing this for AE and we now have 3 separate endings! 

28. your least favorite part of the writing process

Hard to say, each part had pros and cons. But for the sake of simplicity, I will say writing. I have my strengths (mostly in scientific technical writing since that’s like half of my career lol) and man symbolism and feelings are not my forte. I really try, but having to write anything halfway poetic and introspective makes me feel kinda hopeless. But man, let me write a trippy dream sequence, and I’m your gal. 

[shipmistress9]

An Entertaining Inconvenience

Fandom: Fourth Wing - The Empyrean

Pairing: Xaden/Violet -- Riorgail

Rating: Explicit

Summary: When a leadership meeting interrupts Xaden and Violet in the middle of their fun, Violet comes up with a creative idea to make the best of the situation. And the best it is, insane, daring, and just... incredibly hot. Xaden learns a new thing or two. One, a few new tricks he can do with his shadows, and two, how much unresolved tension he can take before he cracks.

AN: You can't do shadow daddy kinktober without shadow tentacles. 😎 Writing this was a lot of fun again, and special thanks goes out to @istarbel for the soundboard and a few ideas which made this story even better. Enjoy 😁

Also sorry this comes so late. I was caught up in a super annoying family happening all day and couldn't get to my computer 😒

@kinktober2023

AO3

. o O o .

“Fuck, yes! Xaden! Xaden, please! Please don’t stop. Oh, fuck. Oh, FUCK! Yes! yesyesyesyesy—XAD-AAHHHHHH!”

Lightning cracks in front of my window as Violet comes, finally. Groaning, I keep sucking on her clit, flicking it with my tongue, my fingers busy thrusting into her. Fuck, she’s so beautiful when she comes, writhing within the restraints she let me put her in and screaming my name like it’s the only word she knows. I could do this all night, just devour her again and again, drinking her down and feeling her clench so hard around my fingers it nearly hurts. And maybe, I will. It’s not as if we have some specific scene planned for tonight. Or that she could get away, for that matter.

After sucking her to a second and a third orgasm, one more mesmerising to watch than the other, I eventually grant her a break. After a small eternity of teasing and then three orgasms in quick succession, she’s earned one. Licking my lips for every last trace of her taste, I step back, once again admiring the sight of her.

And what a sight she is!

There’s a corset around her lower torso, one that, in contrast to her usual armour, leaves her breasts free. With the metal loops worked into its sturdy leather and the ropes looped through them, it holds the majority of her weight where she’s dangling from the ceiling in my room, next to my bed. Her arms are tied behind her back, wrist to wrist and elbow to elbow, pushing out her already rather sizeable breasts even more, her nipples still swollen and sensitive from when I played with them earlier. There are cushioned cuffs around her thighs and ankles, broad enough that they won’t cut into her skin or restrict blood circulation, but sturdy enough to keep her exactly in the position I want her in. Which currently is in a half-reclined and half-sitting position in mid-air, her calves pressed against her thighs, heels against her ass, and her legs spread wide, giving me perfect access. There’s also a collar around her neck, not one of her own collars with the gems but a sturdier and more functional one, also cushioned, supporting her head in this suspension.

Fucking beautiful.

“I see your control of your signet still hasn’t improved,” I tease once her breathing calms down again.

Violet gasps a laugh, a grin on her face. “You’ll miss it once I do.”

I shrug. She’s damn right about that. I don’t care that half of the quadrant—half of all of Basgiath, probably—have a good idea of what these strange sudden lightning storms mean. Making her lose control over and over and over—it’s just too much fun.

“And how shall we illuminate the night sky now?” I ponder out loud as I walk over to where I have a variety of toys ready on my bedside table. “What do you think? More teasing until the tension grows too strong again? Or would you rather I make you come so many times you can’t tell up from down anymore?”

Violet moans and visibly shudders, and I smirk. I have a plan for tonight, of course I do, but that doesn’t mean I can’t change it if there’s something she wants. This is, after all, all about her.

However, before she can answer, a knock sounds from the door to my room. Frowning, we share a look. It’s not often that we get interrupted, but this certainly is the most inconvenient time ever.

“What?” I bark when whoever stands outside knocks again, more impatiently this time.

“Open up, man,” echoes Garrick’s muffled voice through the heavy wood. “Or have you forgotten our meeting tonight?”

My eyes grow wide and my jaw falls open.

Fuck…

“Did something slip your mind there, oh powerful Wingleader?” Violet teases, low but giggling. She’s fucking giggling.

“Yeah,” I hiss back. “Leadership meeting for the entire wing. Progress reports from the squad leaders, plans for improvement, discussing issues…” I run my hand over my face. “This always takes forever.”

“I’ll be right there,” I shout back toward the door. “Just a moment.”

I hurry to free Violet from the restraints, already trying to come up with a plan how to smuggle her out of my room when I feel something like a mental hand on my thoughts.

“Wait!” she says into my head. “I have an idea.”

Quick as lightning, she puts her thoughts into a form in my head, helped and edited by my own thoughts of what’s possible. Within seconds, the plan stands, and I can’t suppress a low groan at just how… how insane it is. How lewd. How hot.

“Are you sure about this? I mean, it can work but… You’d have to at least keep from screaming.”

“Oh, I’m more than up for this. The more important question is though… are you?” The excitement in her mental voice would almost be cute if this wasn’t so insanely thrilling.

Biting my lip, I take a moment to ponder. It would be hard. Literally. But also…

“Dain is out there, too, isn’t he?” Her thoughts are practically dripping with mischief. This level of teasing should be illegal.

But… fuck! She has me with mentioning Aetos. “Okay, let’s do this.”

I take another second to ponder, then rush to my armoire and grab one of the ball gags, a leather ball that’s comfortable enough for its size and that’ll muffle at least the loudest of her noises. My shadows will do the rest.

Garrick knocks again as I rush back to Violet, and she snorts as I fasten the gag at the back of her head. “He’s so impatient.”

“He probably has some ideas about why I’m not ready for the meeting. Now, try to stay quiet. My shadows will muffle and swallow most of the sounds, but still.” I throw her a last glance to make sure she’s okay, then walk over to the door when she nods. “Yeah, yeah, don’t worry. I’m coming,” I call out to the waiting crowd outside as I let my shadows swallow up a good portion of the room.

With my hand already on the lock, I throw a last glance around, just to be sure. The area around my bed and Violet is plunged into thick darkness, that entire half of the room, in fact. With a wave of my hand, I summon a couple of smaller mage lights and position them on the opposite wall near the large table then nod to myself. Nobody will think twice about why the more private part of my room isn’t illuminated, and even when there will be lightning strikes outside later, my shadows will conceal Violet from any prying eyes.

“About time, man,” Garrick grumbles as he pushes past me into my room, followed by the other two section leaders and the by now smaller group of squad leaders.

I try to ignore Aetos at the back, coming in last, as usual. He’s never enjoyed coming here, much like I never enjoying having him in here. After Threshing, it became even worse, when our mutual aversion wasn’t mainly about politics anymore but about Violet instead. But now… I actually have to fight to keep a grin off my face at his sight, all but trembling with his burning ambitions fighting against his suppressed hatred. Whatever spark of jealousy I once felt at his sight is gone by now. Because Violet chose me. And the wave of excitement I feel coming from her as he enters the room is not because she wants him but because, by now, she hates him just as much as I do. Maybe even more.

“Seems like someone is enjoying herself,” I tease.

Her response is something like a mental mewling, as if she’s beyond words. Sometimes, that happens when she’s too overwhelmed, and usually, it’s not much of an issue. Tonight, however…

Gently, I brush with my thoughts against the walls of her mind. “Will you let me in? So I can sense how you’re doing?” There’s a shiver along our bond, then any resistance falls away and I can step into her archive. “Thank you. I’ll just stay here at the edge, don’t worry.” I could pry into her mind now, read her every thought and memory, but I won’t.

As everyone is taking their seats, I take a moment to examine how far the control of my shadows reaches in a situation like this. Even though I can’t see through the thick darkness, either, I can still feel where exactly Violet it, would know her position even if I hadn’t put her in it myself. But to my surprise, I can also feel so much more. I feel everything. Every twitch of a muscle, every shiver along her skin. Every breath she takes and every time she blinks.

Combined with how I’m practically inside her mind, it’s a heady experience. It’s not that I can feel exactly what she feel, but.. I feel how she feels, feel that she’s aroused but not how the leather caresses her skin. Feel her anticipation, no trace of discomfort. Oh, this is going to be fun.

Satisfied, I join Garrick and the others at the large table, taking my seat at its head. “You’re all here, good.” I don’t acknowledge the wait or give any reason, I’m their Wingleader and they aren’t entitled to any information about my private life. However, that doesn’t keep Garrick from raising an eyebrow at me. He’s been here often enough to know the darkness covering half of my room isn’t natural. “I think Fourth Wing is doing well so far, but what do the reports say? Where can we improve?” I don’t care; the war games are stupid compared to what we face outside our borders. But it’s what’s expected of me.

As first the leader of my fire section and then her first squad leader start with their reports, I let my attention wander over to Violet. She might have enjoyed pulling this off so far, but… well, I wouldn’t want her to get bored with these progress reports now. With only the flick of a thought, some of the shadows around her become denser, thicker, more solid.

Let the fun begin.

. o O o .

Violet

My heart is beating in my throat, against the collar, as Xaden opens the door. A part of me expects they’ll all see me hanging here, naked and on full display, and even though I know Xaden would never let that happen, the thought is… weirdly thrilling. Knowing that there’s nothing but Xaden’s shadows keeping them all from seeing everything of me, and yet none of them know a thing, will notice what he’s going to do to me.

The feeling gets even more intense as Dain enters the room, a shockwave of emotions that I did not expect overwhelming me.

For so many years, I’d thought we’d end up together one day. It seemed inevitable, easy, perfect. And even during those first months here in the quadrant, I still thought that was where we were heading. But now, I know that we were never really on the same page. What he wanted was a sweet little scholarly doll to swoon over him, someone he could play protector for, someone who looked up to him and would never challenge him. He couldn’t accept that I might be strong enough to fend for myself, that I might not need him the way he wanted me to. And by now, I know he wasn’t what I wanted, either, even without considering Xaden as an alternative.

And then there’s the whole other thing with him knowingly and willingly choosing the wrong side of the war we’re in, but I can’t let my thoughts go into that direction. Not when we’re still supposed to be ignorant and have to play our parts to not give anything away.

Either way, having him here now in the same room while Xaden is surely going to drive me mindless with pleasure, and he won’t even know… Yep, there’s a certain kind of satisfaction to it I didn’t even consider.

“I’m okay,” I send in Xaden’s direction, belatedly. I vaguely remember him checking in on me and me lowering my mental walls to let him in, but it was only a blur to me amidst the overwhelming emotions.

His relief is tangible through our connection. “Good,” he sighs. “I wasn’t quite sure how to get rid of them all if you weren’t. Now, ready for some entertainment? But remember not to get too loud.”

I roll my eyesat the mischief in his voice, but directly suck in a breath when I feel movement against my legs. “What’s that?” I thought he would use his shadows to move his toys like he sometimes does when his hands are otherwise engaged, but this feels different. Almost as light as a breeze but more solid, more connected, like a snake winding its way across my skin yet with the clear sense of Xaden touching me.

My eyes widen as a the sensation appears at my shoulder as well, winding around my throat, then another curling around my waist. “Xaden?”

In my mind, I hear him chuckle. “Don’t worry, it’s just me. You suggested I use my shadows to play with you, so… that’ what I’m doing.” An image appears in my mind, one he clearly sent my way. One that makes my blood heat beneath my skin, my guts clenching. It’s me, just like I am now, caught in his restraints but without the darkness that makes it impossible for me to see myself, highlighting the thick tendrils of moving shadows curling around my body. Just like the tentacles of a hungry beast, ready to devour me.

“A fitting comparison,” Xaden muses in my mind. “They are indeed hungry, hungry for your pleasure.”

With every word, the shadows move further along my body. They curl around my arms and legs, further keeping me from moving while at the same time caressing over my skin like feathers, teasing me without ever giving me a break.

“Hungry to taste you.”

There are what feels like half a dozen mouths all over my body, suckling and licking along my neck, my collarbone, my breasts and between my legs.

“Hungry for all the noises you can’t suppress.”

I moan into the ball gag as one shadow suckles on my clit, two others on my nipples. The sensation is sublime, intense, and I lean into it, the dull murmur of voices from Xaden’s meeting a strange thrilling background noise. They’re all just over there, about three yards away from me, conferring about boring statistics and facts while I bask in the pleasure Xaden’s shadows pour into my body.

“Yeah, that’s it,” Xaden coos into my mind. “Just give in and enjoy the show.”

. o O o .

Xaden

“…and that’s why, in my opinion, what my squad needs most to improve is more time on the flying field,” flame section’s first squad leader, Sören Acreman, finishes his report.

I nod, having only listened with half an ear at best. “I’ll take that into consideration, depending on what the others need. But I agree, your cadets don’t need much more time on the gauntlet anymore.” My eyes wander to the redhead sitting next to him, Rowan, but I barely listen as they start their report, my attention firmly on Violet and my shadows around her instead.

It’s a strange experience, but one I definitely want to explore further in the future, using my shadows directly to please her. I’ve done it before, but only on a much smaller scale, mostly stimulating her clit to get her off just when I want her to. And of course I always knew that I can kind of feel what my shadows feel, hard surfaces and small cracks, the warmth of light. But this is still more intense than I thought, not quite like touching her with my hands but something close, heightened by the fact that I can touch her at so many different places and in so many different ways at the same time.

There’s the roughness of her pebbled nipples as I suck on them, the softness of her thighs where I hold her open, the thrumming of her blood beneath the skin at her neck. The slickness between her legs, dripping out of her and along my shadow...

Fuck!

I have to fake a cough to suppress a groan. It’s a good thing I’m sitting and the table hides my lower half, because—fuck!—I’m harder than I’ve been in ages.

And yet, I can’t stop teasing her more. Summoning more shadows, I let them wind all around her body, gliding along her warm skin. Some are nothing but small tendrils, teasing the sensitive spots just below her ears or her palms, while others are just long, like snakes, constantly winding around her to heighten her sensitivity. Still others are bigger with rounded tips, formed by my subconsciousness no doubt, prodding at her holes but not penetrating her yet. There’s even one at her mouth, teasing her tongue through the gag, and the sense of arousal and anticipation I get from her…

…it’s nearly more than I can manage. I wish I could break the meeting off and send them all away, go and fuck her until she’s screaming, until I can’t hold back anymore, until I fill her up with my come, until I watch it dripping out of her, until—

I wince as someone kicks me beneath the table and Garrick throws me a reproachful look. Right… I should at least somewhat listen to these reports, if not because they’re important than out of respect for those who deliver them.

“I’m sorry, Rowan. Could you repeat that last question?”

They give me a strange look. “I said, since my squad is by far the smallest in Fourth Wing, it would be good if we could spar with others. Kira already agreed that we could form a truce for sparring together. Would that be okay?”

I glance at Kira, squad leader of tail section’s first squad, and she nods. “We would benefit from such a truce as well since the members of my squad all have the same fighting style. It would be good for them to get used to other styles, too.”

I nod. “Agreed. I’ll see that your times in the sparring gym overlap more.” I tell Kira to continue with her report, skipping claw section for the moment, and put in more effort to listen to them.

It’s a good thing my shadows are capable of following simple commands without me paying direct attention. But I still get distracted by the sense of pleasure and arousal I get from Violet and I also want to pay attention to her. I want to observe how she mewls and writhes, unable to stay still with the constant teasing. I want to feel the softness of her skin beneath my shadow touch, her breasts, her thighs, her hair. I want to feel her warmth as I slowly penetrate her, first her pussy, then her mouth, then her ass. And even though I’m moving slowly to not overwhelm her, constantly checking in on her, and also have the distraction of tail section’s second squad leader lamenting about some issues… I have to bite the inside of my cheek, hard, to not groan out loud as the sensation of all three of her holes clenching around me at ones goes straight to my cock.

I’m so fucked.

. o O o .

Violet

This is madness. complete and utter madness.

And I love it.

The idea of getting fucked by three cocks—or toys—at once always intimidated me. I thought it would be impossible to bear, too much, my mind circuiting and scattering at the overload of stimulation. And to be fair, I was kind of right. But also… not.

Or maybe it’s just something about Xaden’s shadows that makes it so easy, the way they stretch me but not too much, how they give in when I need them to, especially how the one in my throat fills me without making it harder to breath. How they seem more attuned to what I need than I thought possible, though that might come from Xaden being in my head as well.

Ultimately though, I don’t care, can’t even thing about the whys and hows. All I can do is at least try not to cry out too loud as all three shadow tentacles fuck into me at their own pace, seemingly uncoordinated yet weirdly fitting. How one thrusts in, hard, as the other slides along my sensitive insides and the third teases some hidden spots inside me. How they move my body this way and that, all those other shadows curling around me. How I’m completely helpless to their every whim, how they give and take. One is around my neck, squeezing just so to heighten my attention as a couple more play with my breasts, curling, squeezing, suckling, pinching. Others just glide across my skin, touching me everywhere and making my skin prickle, my blood thrumming in my veins. My head is spinning, unable to focus, one action never lasting long enough to get me closer to the edge but all together aiming to push me higher, higher, higher.

And all the while, there’s the constant buzz of background noises, leadership talking and debating, unaware of my predicament. If I had a thought to spare I might think they were arguing, someone from another section slamming their fist onto the table. But what tiny sliver of attention I can spare is on Xaden, on the prominent tent in his leathers, visible only to me at this angle.

Fuck, this is so hot.

“Xaden,” I moan into his mind as lust and arousal once again coil into a tight knot in my guts and my muscles are trembling from the tension and anticipation reigning over my body. “Xaden, please. I… I need…”

But Xaden brushes a gentle hand across my thoughts, soothing me. “Have a little more patience, Violence. I have a plan and I know you can take it.”

I mewl, my eyes rolling back into my head as his shadows pick up a little more speed, writhing and curling all around me, inside me. I bite down on the leather ball between my teeth, hard, do keep myself from giving in, to keep as quiet as I can. But no matter how hard I try, there’s still an endless stream of muffled sounds escaping from my chest, my throat, as the tension in my body becomes unbearable, sizzling beneath my skin.

I can’t come until Xaden let’s me no matter how high he pushes me, but… FUCK!

“XADEN!”

Outside, a singe lightning illuminates the night sky.

. o O o .

Xaden

As light flashes outside my window, followed by roaring thunder, I can’t keep my lips from twitching. Almost time.

“That’s enough,” I interrupt Kel, squad lead of second squad, tail section. “I understand your problems, but that’s not something we can solve now. I’ll talk with the other Wingleaders and then we can hopefully find a solution.”

“But—”

I cut off his complaints. “No matter what else you have to say, it won’t change that we can’t do anything about it tonight, and we’ve sat here long enough as is it. Garrick? What about claw section, any issues?”

Outside, another lightning cracks, and Garrick just gives me a disbelieving look and shakes his head. “No issues I know of. Jeanne, your report?”

The striking blonde leader of Garrick’s first squad rattles down names, times, and scores of her team, efficient as ever, and I’ve never been more grateful leadership put her into my wing than I am at this moment. Violet’s control is hanging by a silken thread by now, her noises barely containable by my shadows anymore. “Just a tiny bit longer,” I murmur into her mind. “You’re holding out so good for me. We’re almost there.”

Her reply is nothing but a wave of desperate need that would make my knees buckle if I wasn’t sitting already. Thankfully, Jeanne is done now. I nod at her, then let my eyes wander over to Aetos. It clearly irks him that he’s last in line, and I don’t even pretend I didn’t twist it that way on purpose. With a sour face, he stands up, arms folded behind his back and eyes straight ahead, that pretentious little git. He’s the only one who always insists on all formalities, just like his overambitious dad taught him.

“Are you ready?” My voice is teasing as I mentally stoke Violet’s arousal even further, and the answering lightning is timed just right to interrupt Aetos the moment he opens his mouth.

He frowns and glances at the window as a second and a third flash illuminate the sky with only a few seconds break between them.

“Juuust a moment, hold on.” — “What is it, Aetos, scared of a thunderstorm?” I drawl, a smirk plain on my face as he throws me a hateful glare. I lean back in my seat, and from the corner of my eye, I see Garrick roll his eyes, even though he can’t keep his lips from twitching, too. “Come on, give your report so we can be done here.”

With a grimace, he recomposes himself.

“Now,” I command. The tendril nestled against Violet’s lower belly moves, curling around her clit and rubbing it just how she likes, and the moment Aetos opens his mouth, all hell breaks loose.

Lightning illuminates the sky as if it were the middle of the day, strike after strike after strike as Violet comes undone. The following thunder is deafening, thankfully covering her screams as pleasure wrecks her, body and mind, and I can’t keep from groaning either, can’t keep my eyes from fluttering shut at the onslaught of sensations flooding our bond. So much stronger even than when our dragons are at it with how there’s no filter between us right now. I feel what she feels, and it’s nearly enough to make me come untouched. Fuck, so intense… I’m just glad that nobody pays me any mind as everyone flinches and stares outside, so my grunt and the way I clutch at the edge of the table go unnoticed.

For what seems like forever, the strikes keep coming as one orgasm seamlessly rolls into the next and the next, as I keep stroking that fire within her. On and on, I let my shadows push into her, suck on her, fill her until her body is shaking within its restraints, never giving her a break, and the euphoria I sense from her is mind-blowing.

I’ll definitely have to slip into her mind more often, in case she allows it.

It feels like several whole minutes must have passed before the pain of overstimulation leaking into Violet’s pleasure becomes too muhc even for her, and my shadows stop moving immediately. Outside, the lightning strikes fizzle out, too, and I have to grit my teeth to keep them on top of the table, to not reach for my aching cock and stroke myself to completion.

“Alright, thanks, Aetos. That was the most informative report you ever gave,” I grunt.

“But I—”

I shut him up with a shadow clamping across his mouth, no patience left to deal with him now. “The meeting is over. Everybody, out!”

Nobody hesitates to follow my order, not even Aetos or Garrick. Within seconds, my room is empty, the door closed, and before my shadows have the chance to withdraw completely, I’m at Violet’s side, loosening the gag.

“Fuck,” Violet gasps, her eyes fluttering as she tries to look at me. “That was… was… amazing.”

I grunt in agreement, fiddling with the ropes around her arms, but then give up and simply cut them apart with the dagger sheathed at my forearm. When I do the same with the ropes holding her legs, Violet giggles.

“This impatience is a new look on you. I think I like it.”

I huff a short pressed laugh. “You have. No. Idea.” I grunt as I loosen the ropes from her corset—it would be a shame to cut apart a rope of this length—and pull her against me and into a harsh kiss once she’s free of her restraints. She’s grinning against my lips and purposefully grinding her naked body against me, against my cock still aching beneath my leathers.

“Please tell me you’re not too sore,” I groan. My eyes are pressed shut, my forehead resting against hers, my hands twitching against her waist. I shouldn’t be putting this burden on her. As her Dom, it is my job to care for her, not the other way around. But—fuck!—after this show we put on, I need her, need to come so badly I can’t remember when I last left like this.

“I have a better idea.”

There’s a gleam in Violet’s eyes, and if I were in my right mind, I might get worried. But as it is, I can only groan as she slips to the floor in front of me, her clever fingers working my leathers open in an instant. The moment my cock springs free and her hand closes around my shaft, a shiver runs down my spine and I give up any resistance. I’m hers, always, forever.

She starts with teasing kisses along the underside of my shaft, and I nearly whimper. “Violet!” I implore. I don’t need gentle coaxing, not now.

“Hush,” she breathes into my mind as her pretty lips close around the tip of my cock. “I’ve got this.”

She certainly does. I know her mouth is as amazing as every other part of her, and I know I let her suck me off far too rarely, but—fuck!—does this feel good. The heat of her wet mouth, the way her tongue strokes along my shaft, how she suckles at the tip, humming at the constant dribble of pre-come she coaxes out of me. So fucking good. Within only two or three minutes, she has me at the edge of spurting down her throat, my hands loosely around her head to guide her as she bobs up and down my shaft, her throat clenching so deliciously every time she takes me deep inside her.

“Fuck, Violence,” I growl through gritted teeth, my fingers twitching in her hair. “Not gonna last much longer.”

She hums approvingly and beams up at me as she takes me down her throat completely, swallowing around me, and the wave of pleasure I sense from where our minds are still so closely connected is nearly my undoing. It mixes with my own lust burning low in my pelvis, so ready to explode that my vision darkens, singling in on where her lips are wrapped around me, bobbing and sucking until I… until…

I howl, disbelievingly, as Violet pulls back right before I come, cruelly dragging me back from the edge. “Shit! What? Fuck, I… I was so… so…”

“So close?” Violet offers when my brain isn’t able to provide the right words for me anymore. “Yeah, I know that feeling.” She flicks her tongue in little kitten licks against my weeping tip, her hazel eyes innocently blinking up at me. I can only stare at her, though, my mind empty as she suckles on my tip, then takes me into her mouth again, starting the whole game anew. Maybe, she’s right. Maybe, I deserve this tonight. But… fuck, I didn’t not expect her to turn on me like this.

“Do you want to come?” she asks when I’m again nearing the edge, my balls tight with need.

“Fuck, yes,” I growl, my fingers tightening in her hair. I fucking need to come. “Don’t you d—”

“Say please.”

I blink, taken off guard. “What?”

She pushes me deeper down her throat, swallowing around me and making me go cross-eyed. “I want you to say ‘please’,” she hums into my mind, mischief dancing in her every word. “I want you to beg for it.”

Fuck…

My breathing goes ragged, her demand pushing me right to the edge in an instant. Maybe I’ll repay her for getting so cocky, but not today. Today, she earned herself the compensation. And I’m too fucking needy to keep playing anyway.

“Please, Violet,” I groan, not having to put in any effort to sound desperate. “Please, let me come. Violet! Please!”

Violet whimpers, her body trembling as she pulls herself closer against me, her nipples rasping against the leather over my thighs. She takes me even deeper, her nose pressed against my pelvis, her throat so tight around me, her tongue stroking along the underside of my cock, and I fucking shatter.

My shout is a mix between her name and a curse as I come down her throat, my hands twitching against her scalp as she swallows me down. Her muscles keep moving along my length, and my knees nearly buckle. Fuck, this feels so good. How she keeps coaxing more out of me, unending, her hands massaging my balls until I’m entirely spent, my vision going hazy.

She keeps swallowing around me until I hiss, the pain of overstimulation never to my taste, then lets me slide out of her mouth. I catch sight of the string of saliva connecting her lips and my cock, but it breaks quickly as I slump to my knees in front of her, trying hard to catch my breath.

“That… that was…”

“Fucking amazing?” Violet supplies with a grin. “Yeah, I think so, too.”

Laughing disbelievingly, I shake my head. “Fucking amazing, indeed,” I groan against her lips after pulling her into a hard kiss. “You are, that is.”

After a few more minutes of catching my breath and enjoying having her in my arms, we eventually get back up on our feet. With a small flicker of regret, I take the collar, cuffs, and corset off her, then put all my playing gear away back into my armoire while she gets ready for the night again.

“This idea was fucking insane, by the way,” I say as I slip beneath the covers next to her. “I’m pretty sure Garrick will give me an earful about it tomorrow, and he wouldn’t be wrong. I wasn’t quiet as… erm… observant as I should have been.”

Chuckling, Violet cuddles into my side. “Oh, were you a little distracted? How awful.” Her expression turns a bit more thoughtful. “I actually didn’t register anything at all from your meeting. You could have planned to usurp the king, and I’d be none the wiser.”

For the fraction of a second, we share a knowing look, but don’t dwell on that topic.

“So, you didn’t see Aetos’ reaction, either? What a shame.”

Violet grimaces. “No. But you can tell me about that another time.” She moves until she’s propped up on her elbow, looking down at me. “Now, I’d rather talk about those shadows of yours.”

I blink at the shift in the tone of her voice, then disbelievingly shake my head, snorting. “You mean these?” I let the tendrils of shadow spring back to life around us, let them glide along her naked skin, beneath the covers.

“Y-yeah,” she gasps as I let them wander between her thighs, and her eyes flutter shut. “I… I think I didn’t really get what you could do with them earlier with everything happening at once.”

I chuckle and make myself comfortable, relishing in how her breasts rise and fall with her ragged breaths. “So you think we should explore their abilities further?” I ask after teasing her for a couple of minutes and let one shadowy tentacle push into her needy body. Her moan sends a shiver down my spine. “Fine, you’ve convinced me.”

With my mouth on her neck, nibbling and suckling on her delicate skin, I summon more shadows to tease her, basking in her sweet noises as I tip her over the edge into one of many more orgasms this night.

Insatiable little vixen.

. o O o .

AN: I barely had time to edit this, so if it feels rougher or has more typos, that's why. 😅

Also, this is the last one I had written in advance. I'll try to get one or two more finished this month, but no promises. 😅

* - . - * - . o O o . - * - . - *

I am but a street artist, offering my art to those around me. If you enjoyed it, a tip in the form of a comment and a ❤️would be highly appreciated. 😊 

If you want to leave a tip you can buy me a coffee. I love coffee 😊 (Ko-Fi)

[foliejpg]

oh yippie more asks:D

i have a lot :3

🍓🌵🥑🥤🌻🧃🧸🪐🍬🦷❄️🌿🏜️🍦🌸🎨🧩

you dont have to answer all of them but here you gooo

oh hell yes this is gonna be so fun <3

🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction? 

i don't remember specifically how, but i know i first interacted with shipping on youtube in like 2007-08 back when you could comment on people's profiles and message other users, so i think i must have commented on some like.. pokeshipping amv and just struck up a convo before i followed some friends i made to ff.net and deviantart, and started writing on ff.net lol

🌵 ⇢ share the link to a playlist you love

so i don't use spotify, i'm an apple music girlie and i really only listen to my own playlist i made that is composed of all of my top 100 songs of the year going back to 2015 LMAO

🥑 ⇢ you accidentally killed somebody, which mutual(s) do you text for help?

@actuallyalaska she got me

🥤 ⇢ recommend an author or fanfic you love

every writer i tagged yesterday!! all of whom take part of the @bandomthememonths go read all these great fics by these awesome writers<333

🌻 ⇢ tag someone you appreciate but don't talk to on a regular basis

@judasisgayriot your gifs are a godsend and i always love getting a comment from them <3

🧃 ⇢ share some personal lore you never posted about before

my name is short for guinevere lol

🧸 ⇢ what's the fastest way to become your mutual?

so i'm sort of picky abt my dash lol i try to stick to foblr so if you post mostly fob then i'll prob follow! i do a good scroll through to get the vibe, but if they post a lot of non fob stuff, i usually skip bc its just not for me but no hard feelings ever<3

🪐 ⇢ name three good things going on in your life right now

well i just bought a new (refurbished) computer for the first time in a few years, so that's exciting! i've recently started making embroidery patches and that's been a lot of fun lol idk i've just been having a good time<3 i'm doing a lot of home renovation projects so i'm excited to have a brand new kitchen soon lmao

🍬 ⇢ post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character

not a fandom character but as far as bandom goes, i don't really care for mcr and maybe that just has everything to do with that i'm really not familiar with lore/band mbrs etc., but danger days is the only mcr album i really connected with especially when i was 16-17 and its still one of my favorite albums, but i'm good on their other albums lol

🦷 ⇢ share some personal wisdom or a life hack you swear on

just be kind<3 ik that's super cheesy but i think its easy to forget that other ppl have feelings too and maybe just being nice to someone will make their day. also don't ever pay full price for anything if you can avoid it. generic brands are just as good as name brands

❄️ ⇢ what's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best?

i have.. no idea honestly lmao

🌿 ⇢ give some advice on writer's block and low creativity

listen when i figure it out, i'll let you know lol when i'm stuck i eat an edible and stare at the wall until something comes to me

🏜️ ⇢ what's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?

ANY AND ALL!!!! especially when they tell me a specific part they liked - even if its just a line makes my heart go bu-bump<3

🍦 ⇢ name three good things about a character you hate

genuinely i can't think of a character i hate, i really don't watch anything but like. seinfeld and its always sunny in philadelphia lmfao

🌸 ⇢ do you have any pets? if you do, post some pictures of them

this is my cat bear<3 she's ten years old and sleeps in a drawer in my desk while i work

🎨 ⇢ link your favourite piece of fanart and explain why you like it

here and here and here and this nsfw fanart from my bubbline au these are all my absolute favorites <3

🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?

i answered this here but its super long so<3

[lensman-arms-race]

What is your critique,or aspects that you didn't liked about ST as a series?

DFB hasn't made a VR Titan TV dating sim.

I don't think I have any real critique! There are maybe some bits I would have done differently (though no specific examples come to mind), but that's just the creative differences between people. There are also some bits that made me go 'oh no!' but that's literally what storytelling is supposed to do to you (Assassin Speaker sacrificing Mint Twins, Titan Camera nearly sawing their own head off).

I guess, with hindsight, it's a bit regrettable that the earlier episodes are so cartoonishly batshit compared to the more 'realistic' (within its context) sci-fi feel of the later episodes. I assume DFB was just noodling around and pure shitposting at first, then later became invested enough in the little world he'd created that he decided to take it more seriously. If he could turn back time, he might have chosen to maintain the current tone from the beginning. But this has happened to plenty of series! It's fine. It can even be seen as adding to ST's charm.

I think the thing I would most like to change is that the series has become more plainly militaristic. I would like a little more of the old silliness, like the BABA BOOEY button.

Possibly the series is suffering from power creep - Titan TV has become so powerful now that it's hard to see what can possibly happen next other than the Alliance steamrolling the Skibidis to victory. (As I write this, episode 70 is due soon - the suspense!) In order for the Alliance to face any real challenge, the G-Toilet is going to have to be stupid powerful. It's a bit like when kids get carried away while larping and say things like 'I get out my gun and shoot you,' 'Well, I get out my bulletproof shield and block you," "I get out my gun with bulletproof-shield-piercing bullets', 'I get out my everything-proof shield', 'I get out my everything-proof-shield-piercing laser' etc. It would be a bit disappointing if that's how DFB goes with it (but I'm sure I'd still enjoy watching the increasingly silly fights!)

Baseless speculation: maybe there will be a complete objective switch like in JJBA. In the first two series, the stories are all about the characters learning to use mystic energy called 'hamon'. In series 3, the 'stands' (basically a battle fursona you summon to fight for you) are introduced, and the storyline is all about stand-battling. The hamon completely falls by the wayside! Maybe the Alliance will defeat the Scientist Toilet and G-Toilet and that arc will end, and then they find a new enemy in the Astro Toilets and some other faction (maybe connected to the Secret Agent - the Agent promised Salmon Shirt that he would help the Alliance defeat G-Toilet but he didn't say anything about who would come after!)

[jedidragonwarriorqueen]

Not so much a question as it is a request, but if you don’t mind, could you take us through how you write action scenes? :) love your work!

First of all, I am sooooo sorry, this has been sitting in my inbox for literal AGES :'''') Partly because of spoons, partly because I would routinely forget for long stretches of time, but mostly because I wasn't really sure how to format a helpful response '^^ Hopefully you're still in a place on your creative writing journey where this might be helpful, ehehehe

I ended up just jotting down a list of tips that I've internalized over time to help my action scenes flow, and added some examples from my own writing. These aren't hard and fast rules that I always follow, but I definitely try to stick to them a majority of the time.

(Also, thank you so much, I'm so happy you enjoy my fics!!! <3)

Know the end goal.

This seems obvious, but I mean specific end goal. Now, if you're a pantser who tends to figure this shit out as they write the scene, then you do you, boo <3 But for me, if I don't know exactly where I want my characters to be at the end of the fight, I get stuck.

Instead of just, "Soren and Rayla fight initially before realizing they're ultimately on the same side," I need "Soren steals the safe back and knocks Rayla into the stream." Instead of just, "Roy breaks free from the soldiers and gets Briggs' attention somehow" I need "Roy breaks free and makes the transport explode." Otherwise, I'm just gonna end up with Soren and Rayla looking at each other awkwardly or Roy sitting by himself in the snow, and a blinking cursor.

Have the setting well planned out.

I mean this in two ways: first, have it planned out in your head and then use it when plotting out how the action goes down. Then when actually writing, introduce the setting before the action starts, so that you're not bogged down in those details and can keep the pace up.

For example, when Callum and Rayla have a showdown with Claudia in the second chapter of and finding answers (is forgetting all of the questions we called home), before Claudia shows up the scene opens with Callum and Rayla chatting together by themselves. I sprinkled in setting details during their conversation so that by the time Claudia shows up and shit hits the fan, the readers already know that Callum and Rayla are cornered at the top of a tall hill with a steep cliff at their backs.

Use short sentences, or short clauses

I've seen it recommended that sentences in action scenes should be short and snappy, to keep the action moving and the tension up. (Though it's a good idea to include a few medium and long ones so it doesn't seem too stilted.) When I'm reading, this has the desired effect on me! However, when I'm writing, I must admit to tending toward the purple-prosy side of things and writing longggg sentences '^^ A method I've found that works for me is keeping clauses shorter even if my sentences stay long. Commas and to some extent conjunctions make my eyes pause just as much as a period does. Here's an example of what I mean from and when you can't rise (i'll crawl with you on hands and knees), with shorter clauses in red and long ones in green:

The other soldiers all gag at their next inhale, eyes flying wide, dropping their weapons in panicked instinct. Riza elbows the one on her right in the throat and grabs his gun as he doubles over in his seat, shooting first the locks on Hausner’s door and the door to her right before turning the weapon on its owner and his comrade. At that point Roy has reached past Hausner, opens the door and tackles the man out of the vehicle. He comes into a crouch, securing the colonel in a headlock, and exhales the breath he’d been holding before taking in the clean northern air. Relief floods him as his captain slides out the rear passenger door, new pistol at the ready, but it vanishes just as quickly when he reaches one-handed for his ignition gloves and they’re not there.

Most of the first half of the paragraph is red, where most of the action happens. I do have a longer clause in there for some variety. By the end of the paragraph, there's more green, but at this point there's a pause in the action as the bad guys have been momentarily dealt with, so the longer clauses can reflect the characters "taking a breath" so to speak.

Strong verbs vs. adverbs

I'm not one of those people who thinks you should never use adverbs, but if you're trying to cut down on sentence/clause length, for me adverbs are the easiest to ditch. Then, if you swap out more generic verbs for really strong, descriptive ones, it paints a more raw and vivid picture. In long live all the mountains we moved (i had the time of my life fighting dragons with you), I especially used this trick, as I was trying hard for an emotionally-charged, desperate vibe:

With a word and a gesture, a gale knocks over flattens a line of corrupted creatures from the outcrop to the edge of the plateau. A rune pops slashes into existence and a cyclone passes rips through the ranks of zombies, leaving a no-man’s land behind. Hailstones the size of eyeballs fall rain down on the humans and elves foolish or desperate enough to fight for the disgraced Startouch elf. In the distance, a black tail slashes across the sky, and with a blistering scream Domina Profundis falls plummets, angling toward the coast. The other dragons retreat, wary, and the corrupted star serpent flies twists towards the rocky outcrop . . . the serpent moves corkscrews through the sky, outpacing the surprised dragons behind. It snarls, mouth bristling with needle teeth the size of spears, smoky tendrils trailing in tainting the atmosphere in its wake.

Engage all the senses...

Stay out of the character's heads (during the heavy action).

Time passes quickly in a fight, too quickly for characters to do much thinking or registering everything that's happening. Plus, interjecting a character's train of thought tends to slow down an otherwise fast-paced paragraph, which can be a bit jarring. I like to save that until after the fight, or during a pause in the action. For example, from we took the step, oh we took the leap (and we'll take what comes):

Coming around the bend of the tunnel, the creatures behind them thundered into view . . . She leapt to meet the beasts head on, but to her dismay, her swords—easily capable of slicing through metal, stone, and bone—deflected off their hides. Duse sithspawned creatures. After taking a nasty swipe to her shoulder that sheared straight through her armor, drawing blood, Rayla backed away. “I can’t stop them,” she called back to her companions. “My beskade bounce right off their armour!” She pulled a pistol from a holster at her back and fired off several shots in quick succession, but the advancing beasts didn’t even flinch. “Haar’chak. Blaster’s no good, either.” Rayla’s thoughts raced as she tried to come up with a plan. She couldn’t win here, probably—but she could maybe hold the tuk’ata off long enough for the boys to escape—but she didn’t know if she could occupy them both at once for the boys to sneak past—

Here, while Rayla does call out a few observations that her weapons don't work (which i mostly included since this is an AU rewrite of a canon scene, and it's based on actual dialogue), she doesn't stop to think about other options until she's taken a step back from fighting for a moment. While she's actually fighting the hounds, I focused on her actions, to keep the pace up.

I hope you find some of these tips helpful, and maybe even worth the wait, ehehe. Stay well, friend!!

[crusherthedoctor]

🦋 😎 🚦 💌

🦋 Which character is your favorite to write?

To the shock of no one, Eggman and Trudy. Eggman is my favourite character, and Trudy is my character, so naturally I tend to get especially into it when I'm writing for them.

I'm not ashamed to admit that, because unlike some writers with their own characters (hint hint), I always make sure it never comes at the expense of the other characters' respect and dignity.

😎 What fics do you prefer on a scale of canon compliant to wildly original?

Canon all the way. Years of fics and adaptations where the characters barely resemble who they're meant to be will do that to you.

I also consider it an engaging challenge to take concepts that would never happen officially, and try to tackle them in a way that would hopefully make sense in its execution if it were done officially.

🚦 What sort of endings do you prefer to write: ambiguous, bad, happily ever after, etc.?

Happy endings with a hint of bittersweet.

It hits the sweet spot for me, in that the villain leaves a undeniable impression, whose impact can't be swept under the rug so easily, but the heroes are still able to ultimately triumph after a lot of hard work.

💌 Is there a favorite trope you like to write?

This ain't all of them by any stretch, but here are some examples that come immediately to mind:

Villains who are both hilarious and genuinely ruthless. (Hi Eggman.)

Villainous breakdowns.

Characters getting to see the world for the first time.

A new setting for the hero(es) to explore, with its own history and atmosphere.

Cool environments with eye-catching aesthetics.

Fun and creative designs for antagonists/bosses/etc.

Building up to a mystery that seems to have an obvious answer on one hand, but remains mysterious in spite of that because of additional factors.

Gradually building up to darker elements as the plot goes on, with the optional bonus of said elements in question being not what you'd expect in terms of tragedy or creepiness. (Don't worry though, it'll never go into misery porn shenanigans, that's not my thing.)

Shy characters gradually building up their courage over the course of the story, without becoming a radically different person by the end of it.

Callbacks and continuity references, but only if they're used in moderation and feel organic.

Contrast. This can apply to anything, be they characters, creatures, plot beats, or even locations.

Writing Trudy's dialogue for so long has given me a very specific one: subverting the "sesquipedalian characters are always high and mighty" cliche. I dunno, it's just unexpectedly fun writing a character who is humble and down-to-earth, and juxtaposing that with her occasionally verbose language. (She doesn't use big words 24/7, just on the rare occasion, as I thought it'd be a nice little quirk for her that makes her dialogue that extra bit memorable and - hopefully - endearing.)

[kaliawai512-v2]

Hey!

I’m trying to develop my own writing skills, but I am a little baby in the world of writing so I’m seeking help and I think your writing is really cool and it makes me happy. So I found my way here.

But I just wanted to ask if you could tell me anything about your writing process? Like how you work with drafts, plotting, editing and how you manage the time/motivation to write so much holy cow! Also how long have you been writing consistantly?

Okay that’s a lot of questions at once, sorry. 😂

Anyway I hope you enjoy your day! ;)

Hiya!!

Aww, thank you so much! I’m so glad you enjoy my writing, and thank you for leaving such kind comments <3 Absolutely, I’m happy to share my experience! Sorry that this is a veeeeeeeery long reply XD

I don’t have a super-neat process for managing drafts. When I get an idea for a story, I jot it down, but I try not to force it. I let it sit in the back of my head and it will either develop or fade into oblivion. If I’ve got enough ideas that it seems like it could make a full story, I start organizing it into scenes and/or chapters (depending on the length). There will often be some “blanks” in between major events, and I fill those in as I get inspiration.

Once I’ve got at least a mostly complete outline, I start writing. And this is where I’m a massive weirdo: I write completely out of order. I’ll write a bit of a scene in Chapter 17 and then a snippet in Chapter 1, and oh, now I figured out how the final chapter will end so I’m writing that now, and then a bit in Chapter 6 … you get the picture XD This process probably won’t work for most people, but I’ve been doing it for around ten years now (yes, I am a Tumblr grandma) and it works great for me - even though it does lead to a bit more editing down the line.

I don’t edit at all as I go, and I try not to start editing until I’m at least a good ways through writing. When I am ready to edit, I read everything out loud - this helps me catch things I might not miss and helps me get a sense for what “sounds” right on the sentence level. It also wears down my voice a bit, so I don’t edit a ton at once.

And I’m flattered you think so highly of my motivation!! But I have a secret to share … I don’t write consistently - at least not in the long run XD If I’m working toward a specific goal, then I try to write fairly consistently (I also love NaNoWriMo). But I find that if I have to force myself to write over and over, then it’s worth questioning whether I’m having fun with the project. Every project has its tough parts, and sometimes you just have to power through if you want to see the end product. But there’s no glory in just tormenting yourself all the time - especially when you’re writing fanfic.

Lately, I write at least 500 words daily - sometimes up to 5-6k. But this is a writing binge. Prior to this February, I hadn’t written consistently in around six months. And before that binge, a lot longer. Why? I have a lot going on in my life. Writing is one of my passions, and at the moment, purely done for fun - and that’s not a bad thing! My creativity in various areas comes and goes, and I’ve learned to accept when it wanes and just do other things for a while. It always comes back eventually.

But the biggest piece of advice I can give you is: figure out what YOU like. Because your goals aren’t mine, and your life isn’t mine! I hope that my experience will offer you something (and questions are ALWAYS welcome <3) but you should always do what works best for you. Absolutely reach out to lots of writers and get their takes, but don’t take any piece of writing advice without a grain of salt. As far as I’m concerned, there are no hard-fast rules in writing.

Have fun with writing, give yourself space to practice on projects you enjoy, and if you can, keep the pressure low! I wish you all the best in your journey and I know you’re going to make amazing things <3

Hope you have a great day as well! :D

[fablecore]

(7/7) i hope this wasnt Too Trauma-Dumpy or anything. i tried to stay away from specifics or anything potentially triggerable. i just didnt know how to illustrate your impact accurately without at least acknowledging some darker things, albeit vaguely. the words "you mean a lot to me" felt inadequate but they are true. and i hope its clear as to why now but yeah. wild that oc-making and publishing your art and fanfic-- even just in theory, i havent ever touched on what youve MADE in specifics or in analysis-- altered my life, or at least altered how i felt i was allowed to interact with my life, so much. obviously what impacted me was more than JUST cringe culture, but its way funnier in its simplicity to say: cringe culture going off on ocs and Mary Sues really fucked me up more than i thought Imao rip

but yeah. just. thanks. for everything ♡

if dont beat that 2%, i really do hope you find what make, after college is all done, when i finally have the time/energy to spare. or that someone sends it your way, if it isnt me myself. i hope youll continue to be active when i make it. but, if you arent for whatever reason, ill still make it. and itll always be a goal ill have made and accomplished thanks to you and your creativity. i love you, very much. and thank you again ♡

(/end of original message. thank you for your time, i know this was long, i hope you received something joyful despite that aspect. or recieved something heartfelt, to turn the moniker around again. but yeah. thank you again, for everything ♡♡♡ i love you and your creations very much. you mean a lot to me. more than any words in the english language can adequately convey ♡)

i'm saving the rest of your story in my inbox. it's so precious i'd rather not publish it. it will remain just between the two of us ♡

thank you so much for taking the time to write this even after tumblr ate the first attempt. you mentioned sincerity a few times, and there's something i've noticed about writing/creating with sincerity in mind. and by that i mean the interview with maria howe where she goes "i ask my students every week to write 10 observations of the actual world. It’s very hard for them. Just tell me what you saw this morning like in two lines. I saw a water glass on a brown tablecloth, and the light came through it in three places. No metaphor. And to resist metaphor is very difficult because you have to actually endure the thing itself, which hurts us for some reason."

when someone tells a story filled with facts/truths/observations that aren't dressed up in a thousand layers of irony and shame, people respond to it. there's a universe-sized chasm between a soul eviscerating head imploding sledgehammer to the heart film like everything everywhere all at once and the next marvel whatever. that chasm is probably named sincerity. or love. or joy. or connection. whatever it's called, you can feel it in the place where our souls are supposed to reside. it's tangible. it shifts. it's real.

anyway.. i'm rambling now... i was very moved by your message and your love and i hope you will continue to allow yourself more and more and more until you get everything you want. wishing you the best in your future endeavors 🤍💘 and when the time comes, i hope you do give me a nudge if i'm still around! (which, look. i probably will be. i've already been here too damn long.)

[bastardsunlight]

got any recommendations for blogs to write with? looking to expand my genre and it can be any fandom or any type of writing canon or oc. you have good taste and good writing so i wanna ask if you got any suggestions.

//well hell, that’s very kind of you, anon. I appreciate the regard. I’ve got such a list of people—old friends and new ones… I’ll slap a few in here, but if I forget you, please know it’s because I’m decrepit and half-aware at all times. I’ll do my best to list the folks with whom I interact most frequently at the very least… These are all good, honest people whose blogs are genuine safe spaces, so they're high quality.

@justliukang with all Liu Kang all the time--if you're into Mortal Kombat and Liu Kang specifically, this here's the mun and blog for you!

@heamatic / @dyuuku a Mortal Kombat multi and her wonderful OC (she's got other blogs, too; inquire within!) and she is another very good friend

@extraordinarygrrls a multi muse of ladies. If it's girls you want, it's girls she's got. Total fucking sweetie, too. Very good human.

@vehxmence with a variety of OCs with a variety of verses on her multi here; we've known each other for YEARS

@merchantofwhispers with Gemina (and others), the morally gray vampire lady who is also sometimes an eldritch night deity--intensely creative, fun to talk to, VERY kind

@theotherhawk is Kate Bishop and a better interpretation of the character I've yet seen. Seriously, hard recommend!

@realprojectalice is another one I've known for YEARS--she ofc has other blogs, but this here's our main interaction and by GOD we've written some stunning threads.

@fcrrokinetic arguably the most popular Heis--jk jk that's a TERRIBLE inside joke and I'm almost sorry. Almost. Seriously though, she's super creative and what a fuckin' great partner. We come up with the wildest shit and it always seems to work. (Other blogs, too, which I'm sure you'll find)

@noonegetsleftbehind he and I hit it off IMMEDIATELY rapping about weskerfield and its inherent fucked-upedness and then we just kinda went from there. He's got other blogs too, and they are VARIED. The range on these people I stg.

@daughterofnero which is a lovely multimuse and another I've known for years--stuff from FFXV, DMC, RE, I mean shit the list goes on, plus MK, and multiple verses for folks AAAAAAAAAAND OCs, so you know she's got it goin' on

@koikage101-rp-hub is ofc the hub of the great Koi. We've only recently become acquainted but we get along like a house on fire. SO many muses (honestly same) and why not? It's a party, after all.

I KNOW there are more of you with whom I've just not interacted in a minute, but like, anon, if you see me interacting with anyone, odds are they're safe--that is, they're good folks who understand this is a hobby, not a jobby, that it's not real, and that stressing over shit ain't worth it. I'm a slut for communication, which is the biggest criterium I place on RP partners. Everything else tends to fall into place.

[cookinguptales]

thegeekyartist said:

"There's value in joy, even if it's mine."

OH I love this, I'm holding it close to my chest. I can sympathize so hard 🥲 My main creative practice/job is fine art, and sometimes if I make work that isn't for sale/print apps/museum apps it feels like I'm wasting precious time. But we're allowed to just do things for fun!! We can do things with the only purpose being to have the experience!

I wish you all the luck in your NYRs! I'm always happy to see your posts/stories/tags etc! I hope you have a great year!

-------------

It's a thing that's hard to for me internalize, but I'm doing my best! My joy is a worthwhile goal all on its own! Everything I do doesn't have to be in the service of others! My happiness is enough!

And ohhhh, I definitely feel you. Like... in addition to everything I already said, I've always kind of gone back and forth on my writing. My mother writes professionally now, something that was hard to get used to, and I always specifically avoided writing professionally just because I saw the way that it stressed her out. I wanted writing to be my one good thing, an outlet that was not attached to my livelihood, and for the most part, I've stuck to that.

That said, I always kind of wondered if I was being foolish or selfish to look at it that way, and whether I should consider writing for pay... But I kind of dismissed that as like "oh, who would pay me to write, anyway?"

Then I won that writing competition last year and I mean... They paid me quite a bit to write, when it comes down to it. And they wanted to pay me to keep writing. Which kind of put me in a tough spot.

So now I always have this kind of struggle because... Now I know I can be paid for my writing. People's lives were made better by my writing. People from marginalized groups sent me messages telling me that they felt seen.

But people wanted me to write about a stressful topic and I would have been monetizing my own trauma. Moreover, I got some harassment after I won the contest and it was like... is this a thing that I should develop a thicker skin for? Is this a life that I'm cut out for?

In the end, I got sick. We're still not sure what got me so sick, but... I got really sick. Then around the time that I started feeling better, I also got into wwdits fandom. And, well, according to AO3 I wrote over 250k words of fanfic this year.

Should I have poured that effort into writing nonfiction professionally? Maybe. I honestly don't know. People wanted me to. But I've gotten a lot of happiness out of just writing two idiots falling in love in a bunch of different ways, and I like to believe that's brought happiness to others as well. Maybe that's enough...?

But it sure doesn't pay for that accessible bathroom...

Sigh. I don't know. This is a lot of words to say... I feel you. I always feel like maybe I should be monetizing my creative pursuits, like that would be the responsible thing to do. But it's not like I don't have a full-time job that pays me fairly well. It's not like I have to monetize the things that bring me joy.

I often joke, like, oh if only people would just pay me to sit around and write my silly little stories all day. But maybe that would ruin it. Or maybe it wouldn't. Maybe it would make me feel less guilty about sitting around and writing my silly little stories all day. I guess there's really no way to know.

in the meantime, I guess I'll just keep... writing words about vampires...

Ah, I got off topic again. Thank you, and I hope your next year goes however you'd like it to as well. 💜

[egg-emperor]

My dude, its not that your content is boring, or you are a bad writer, or that people hate you. Quite the contrary, you are incredibly creative and passionate and that is always a delight to see. The thing is you are on a dying website on a fandom that tends to be the butt of jokes (so most people dont want to be associated with it) and you write about one of the last popular characters there. Its a niche community, thats why your posts dont reach a big audience. (1/2)

I can't help but feel that way lately ever since my instrusive thoughts came back bad the worst they've ever been and it feels like everyone is proving all the horrible things my mind is telling me about myself and my work to be true. It just seems like people don't really care about what I have to offer anymore, like I can't entertain anymore so now I'm worthless. The idea that my creations that make me happy makes others happy too is one of the only things that kept me going and motivated to share more but it feels like it's dwindling. I appreciate you and everyone else that has been supporting me and I'm glad you still enjoy my content. I don't want to seem ungrateful but my mind is being nasty to me and seeing how a lot of people seem to be losing interest across all three of my blogs more than ever is getting me down even more.

It's a shame that the site is dying when Twitter is garbage that kills the passion and creativity of many. Yeah that might be a part of it but I definitely have a more active follower base than it seems most of the time. I notice this when a bunch of people following me only like/rb/interact with stuff I reblog and clearly scroll past my self made posts in between. And yeah Eggman isn't that popular, especially not modern/game canon. But I'm even starting to feel like an outcast to the Eggman fandom space here (despite being here before most since 2015 when there were barely any Eggman posting blogs. I was the one accused of gatekeeping for not liking jimbotnik but I'm the one feeling pushed out and alienated now lol) because I don't like the movie and I'm not big on the popular romantic ships, headcanons, and fanon interpretations now. It just feels like everything I do is wrong and what I have to offer is never good enough, or the interest doesn't last because I don't do all the new things that are considered cool now.

Undoubtedly part of it is also that I write more. But fuck man, art is hard and even harder when you have to digitalize it on a phone. It's become more stressful than fun so I can't do it a lot. I just wish that fandoms didn't always make creators feel like writing doesn't matter and isn't as good as art. I've seen people entirely disregard writing and automatically assume it to be trash just because it isn't art. And a lot of people don't tend to support writing like they do with art, even if they do like it. But I wish people understood that creators need at least some support if they want them to keep creating, otherwise they won't think it's worth it or anyone cares. We're not mindless content machines to pump out content and entertain until people get bored of us. Both art and writing takes time, passion, and effort and a bit of support goes a long way but sometimes you get nothing but silence and it can be more crushing than hate at times, left to wonder if your creations were even worth your time to create or anyone else's to consume.

But aside from that, what also gets me down is that I do actually see people supporting other's writing and encourage more from them but I don't get any of that type of support, feedback, or criticism from those very same people when it comes to mine, despite them being so similar. I tend to get brushed off or ignored or nowhere near as much hype. And I know it sounds like jealousy but it honestly just makes wonder what, is it just my stuff specifically that's just not good enough for them? And it just never seems good enough, no matter how hard I try. I realize there are times it is in fact personal and I have no idea why because they don't tell me and I feel terrible when it ends up confirming my fears, then I worry if it's always the case. That's the stuff that hurts the most, more than people just outright telling me if they don't like or aren't interested in my stuff anymore, which would hurt less.

I know not everyone thinks I should die really but it's easy to think that way in times where I get insults and suicide bait from people shitting on me and what I do more than I get positive or supportive comments. So that's why it feels like people just want me to die, I'm told so in my inbox. I'm not saying I demand endless high praise but just someone simply saying they enjoyed something I posted instead of just silence has a way bigger positive impact than they think but some don't anymore. And if there's a reason why or it isn't personal, I wish they'd tell me so it puts my mind to rest, instead of pretending I don't see blatant disinterest or the ignoring that drives me mad and kills motivation. The hateful people are more vocal and then it feels like nobody else cares and it drags me down.

I swear some people, both general followers and some people I'm closer to are just losing interest and getting sick of me personally and it's hard seeing it happen and seemingly being unable to do anything, making it feel like my time of being capable of doing anything good and likable in their eyes has passed. And it's just hard accepting that and letting it go, especially when you never get the real answers and you're left wondering what went wrong and why you're not good enough anymore. I've had moments of realization where my heart sinks when I present something I'm proud of and I get unenthusiastic responses or silence. And feeling either people drift away or being insulted more often than anything positive gives my sick brain a lot to work with in further attacking me with nasty intrusive thoughts too. But like I said, that last part is on me and I feel I'm just genuinely too mentally ill to handle being on the internet.

I appreciate all of you that do support me and my passion and creations, it might just look silly on the surface with my rambling and gushing but what I create is important to me and it means the world to me that it's enjoyed by anyone else. It gets tough with my mind and negativity I receive but I try not to lose sight of the positive things or forget people enjoy my work, which makes it worth turning my passion and ideas into something I can share. I'm trying to get better at not letting negative and hateful stuff matter and only value the good but sometimes when I'm already dealing with enough privately and come online and see this happening too, it's the little extra push I need to reach the breaking point. But at the same time, when I'm in some of my darkest places with things I don't talk about, coming online and seeing kind words and knowing my stuff is enjoyed means everything and manages to put a smile on my face, no matter how awful I feel. And that's what keeps me creating and sharing for as long as I'm here. Thank you. 💜

[kinetic-elaboration]

March 29: Jane Notes

I spent the whole day trying frantically to catch up with all the work that’s piling up around me out of nowhere all the while feeling like I had a second set of eyelids behind my real eyes that were constantly closing. But it was nice out after work so I got a coffee and a delicious raspberry Danish and sat outside and wrote some. I actually had a better time doing that than I’ve had in a while, possibly because my expectations were so low. Then I came home and went to sleep for a bit. Now I want to go to sleep again but I gotta work on the drawer fic first… kind of scared of it because I had a meltdown over it last night—well really over my computer. It shut down while I was in the shower so I had to restart it and I got so flustered about it that I hit a major writing block, like I could NOT think creatively because I was too busy freaking out about the time and being exhausted and wanting to gnaw off my own hand, so I just wrote some notes about what I want to happen next and gave up. I guess this technically does count as breaking my streak but I honestly, truly, tried my best. I could not have done more. So today I need to break through that one sentence that drove me over the edge and maybe try to uncurse myself a little here.

Anyway, I wrote some notes about my Daria/Jane College AU story while I was out and I’m just going to put them here. They’re not really about the fic per se but more about Jane’s character more generally as I try to work some stuff out. I want to go back to writing this fic… writing has been really hard recently, just finding time/energy, and I don’t have a ton of optimism about this weekend but… I do want to rally and do it.

The notes:

I was sort of thinking about their flaws and how they could breed conflict. Toying with the idea that [AU] Jane does not have any role models for stability and consistency, other than (sort of) Trent, and that this could lead to questionable decisions. My feelings are mixed. It feels almost plausible but also OOC. Because… Jane’s weak points canonically are not loyalty or stability-related. She and Daria are old married BFFs from the GET. She doesn’t run from Tom when they get serious. She has specific reasons—not boredom or fear of commitment—for ditching Evan and Nathan. Yet I also am intrigued by the vision of Future Jane, how she’s modeled her marriage on her parents’.

The Lanes as a family are flaky and unreliable but actually I feel like Jane has had to overcompensate for them, rather than follow suit. She is sometimes painted (lol) (drawn?) as lazy, loving to sleep—but she’s responsible for the gazebo in Art Burn and Lanebay shows entrepreneurial spirit ahead of its time. Her artistic output is staggering. She’s learned not to expect anything from most family and she’s become self-reliant as well as self-assured as a result.

We do know that she’s impulsive, and fond of creative schemes and theories (DDMD, Art Burn, The Lawndale Files, hooking up with Bobby Bighead, and her bold flirtations with Tom and Nathan). Her creative energy just sort of… runs free. She doesn’t seem to have reins on herself when she gets going. Self-doubt is her kryptonite—she lets any in, she goes off the rails (this jealousy crap—it isn’t me; Fire/DDM, IIFY).

But what does all this COME to? How does it apply HERE? I’m not sure yet.

[writtenbykatsworld]

1. Understand the mechanism of death.

Every human dies because the central nervous system gets unplugged. This happens in many ways, but primarily either the cardiopulmonary system stops, which tells the brain to shut down, or the brain stops, which tells the heart and lungs to give up.

In reality, this is harder to accomplish than it sounds, and it’s human nature not to check out without a fight. So people are actually hard to kill. A bullet to the head is effective, but stabbings, for instance, are time-consuming, difficult, and messy. Poisons are slow, strangling is tough, and folks just don’t stand there while being axed. So when you write the “perfect murder scene,” think about how realistically you kill your victim.

2. Understand time of death.

I’ve read (and seen on the screen) moments in which the coroner/pathologist declares the victim dead at a specific time, such as 10:05 pm. Uh . . . no—not unless someone was there with a stopwatch. Many mortis factors are considered when estimating time of death. Temperature is the biggie, followed by body mass.

A dead body will naturally adjust temperature (algor) to achieve equilibrium with its surroundings and will display time-telling factors, such as muscle stiffening (rigor), blood settling (livor), color (palor), and tissue breakdown (decomp). The presence of toxins also effects body changes. Cocaine amplifies the mortis process, while carbon monoxide retards it. Be careful in getting your forensic guru to commit on specific time.

3. Understand scene access.

Crime scenes are tightly secured. Absolutely no one goes in unless they’re necessary, and then they’ll wear complete personal protective equipment (PPE) to avoid contaminating the scene or themselves. This business of a gumshoe detective in a trench coat, smoking a cigar and leaning over the body, doesn’t happen. Neither does a fifteen-year-old sleuth tagging along to help solve the case.

4. Get the terminology right.

I see writers get basic terms wrong, and it’s the little mistakes that seriously affect credibility. For example, calling a 9mm pistol a “revolver” or saying the body was “prone” on its back on the floor. So much is available through Internet searches or, better yet, having beta readers pick up on errors. Remember: check what you write.

5. Crime-lab results are not so quick.

Processing crime scene evidence is a cumbersome, frustrating, and time-consuming event. First of all, yours is not the only case the lab has, and it will sit in queue to get developed. You’ll probably get bumped to the back of the bus by more urgent files and it could be months before your DNA profile comes in. And, no, a phone call from the scene to your buddy in the lab is not going to speed things up. He’d probably get canned for playing favorites.

6. Don’t get creative with investigational aids.

Most writers fail to consider the multitude of resources used in criminal investigations. DNA is today’s darling, followed by AFIS (the Automated Fingerprint Identification System). Don’t just write in the usual things like forensic autopsies, toxicology, ballistic matching, and document examination. Expand your story by using informants, wiretaps, room bugs and wires, polygraphs, undercover operators, police agents, hypnosis memory enhancement, psychological profiling, computer analyzing, satellite surveillance, and one that’s a real bugger—entomology. Stay away from using psychics, though. I’ve never heard of a case in which psychic information was anything other than a wild goose chase. I think psychics are as toxic to a believable story as a “dream” ending.

7. Use the five senses.

The best page-turners happen when you connect with your reader’s senses: sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch. This seems to be the key to pulling off the show-over-tell thing. I keep a little sticky note on the bottom of my screen to remind me to make the most of the senses in each scene—it sure helps in editing.

Smell is the strongest link to emotional connection. It’s one thing to see gruesome photos of a gut-shot corpse, but once you’ve actually whiffed a maggot-crawling, gassing-off decomp, you’ll never forget it. Try writing out that sock-puking stench. Show the detective dumpstering his $500 leather jacket because the putrefaction permeated the calf-skin pores, and dry cleaning it just made it stink worse. True story—happened to me.

8. Craft believable dialog.

Be honest. Cops and crooks swear like sailors, and that’s the reality of the crime world. And some of the most foul-mouthed friends I have are females. One lady pathologist used to slip in some beauts while dictating and dissecting. Fortunately, her assistant was a good editor and covered her butt in reports.

There’s a balance, though. If every fourth word is four letters, it’ll get a little overpowering, but none at all is unrealistic. I read a prominent crime writer’s best seller on a recommendation. I picked up right away that something wasn’t quite right. Then I came to the part where a character had to use profanity—no way around it to be true to the character—and the author wrote it as ‘F@#*!’. I quit reading and I’m sure others did too.

9. Create compelling characters.

Something that’s as true as the fact that you’re going to flush the toilet before bedtime—the best cops and crooks have vibrant personalities. And they’re not entirely good or bad either. One of the Hell’s Angels I know should be a stand-up comedian, and a fellow coroner, who looks like frump-woman, is like travelling with Yoda. She has a terrible drinking problem, though, and sleeps with her incontinent ferret.

10. Understand the science of story.

I can’t stress this enough. There’s every much a science behind storytelling as there is in doing autopsies. Why readers stay up—and can’t put novel down—is that writers work words that release endorphins in the reader’s brain. One book that all writers, not just crime-writers, MUST read is Wired for Story by Lisa Cron. I promise you’ll never look at storytelling the same.