#so now she's a gunslinger instead of an archer

[the-plagueis-crew]

OC: Blonde Busty and Skilled hands~

NAME: Bess Big tits~ (it's actually Big Horn, she's just slutty)

AGE: I won't tell~ (She's 22)

RACE: I'mma Minotaur! (Recessive genes, so she's right...on a technicality)

HEIGHT: I'm a sweet lil' thing~ (She means 4'11")

CLASS: Gunslinger! (Arcane Archer, but uses guns and bullets instead)

STR 10 (+0) INT 10 (+0)

DEX 20 (+5) WIS 12 (+1)

CON 15 (+2) CHA 17 (+3) Mostly my tits to be candid~

BACKSTORY:

"Sheriff" of her own little frontier town, Bess was born and raised in a warrior dynasty named the Bighorns, having Minotaur in their blood, they've been protecting the frontier and cattle for close to 200 years. Bess, however, grew up on tales of adventure and comradery, knight dragons, the whole shebang. So she decided to leave when she was 18 and was supposed to be sworn in as sheriff, she even has the badge!

Now, Bess or Bessy as I prefer, walk t' world meetin' fellas who dunno what a gun is, fightin' dragons and beasties, and meetin' studs and sluts ta fill mah needs~

...Gotta go home and talk to Ma and Pa someday, though...

[manygalaxiesinone]

Likelyhood of me Hanging out with Disgaea class characters:

((This idea was suggested by @nat1vibes so let’s get into it.

Warrior: Maybe He’s a chill guy, but he loves to flex. Total chad.

Valkyre: Probably If we started off as high school buddies or something, then I can see this working out, but otherwise I think she’s going to be a bit too rough for my liking.

Martial Artist: Maybe If it means doing some yoga together or something, then yeah I can see us hanging out at least a little bit.

Fight Mistress: Maybe Same reason as the martial artist, until she decides to eat up all the rice. At that point, we’re gonna have a problem.

Magician: Yes. Considering how studious he is and with his love of practicing his spells, this might be the guy who would actually get me started playing Dungeons and Dragons.

Witch: No She cute, but she loves pranks and I feel like they would get on my nerves at some point.

Clergy: Yes Don’t think I ever made an actual Femboy companion before at least IRL. Welp, time to see what that’s like.

Cleric: Yes This is one of those characters that I feel like would give me peace of mind by just being around them. You know someone that you wouldn’t mind putting your head on a lap and take a nap kind of peaceful.

Ninja: Maybe This mofo I need to watch out for because he’s either a very loyal companion or a spy from someone else who got beef with me for some reason.

Kunoichi: Maybe Now if we’re talking in terms of just friends, then we should be fine. Relationships though, that’s going to be a problem, because if she starts to flirt with me, I don’t know if it’s genuine or if she’s trying to assassinate me.

Samurai Male/Female: Yes These two are loyal and have pretty good manners and even though I don’t drink, I can see us joining some sort of celebration together.

Ranger: Probably not He might be a bit too cold for my liking honestly

Archer: Hell Yeah! I never have to worry about getting lost again with her around, plus she’s a lot more used to the cold than I am since most archers come from icy mountains. Not to mention most gatekeepers in the series like Friday, are archers so I can instantly warp to anywhere I want on the planet.

Magic Knight: Hell yeah! Sexy, loyal, magical swordswoman, what the hell’s not to love? She’s basically a humanoid Gardevior if you think about it. (Yes, I know Gardevoir is a humanoid pokemon, but you get what I mean.)

Thief Male/Female: Probably not They cool and all, but like with Artina, I need to constantly check my pockets when I’m around them. Hell, even moreso because at least Artina has a reason to try to rob someone, these two will just take off with the cash with no warning or remorse.

Angel Male/Female: Between maybe - Hell no! This depends on whether or not Flonne became the new Archangel of Celestia (which is from Disgaea 3 Postgame onwards). If it’s any time before that, especially Vulcanus is still around then it’s not happening. Angels in this series are notorious for being blinded by prejudice aside from a small minority. It’s the whole reason why I made my Panty and Stocking AU start out in Celestia, to see what it would be like for them there instead of heaven. And before you think it’s just demons, no, guys like Vulcanus even look down on the humans they’re tasked with protecting.

Gunner: No Ignoring the fact that we have enough gunmen in this country as is, Gunners prefer solitude anyway. I’m not against that, hell I completely understand, but that means we’re not really like...hanging out together if you get what I’m saying.

Gunslinger: Probably not Just a sexy lady with a gun. That’s it.

Armor knight Male/Female: Maybe Like with the samurai, I can see us at least chilling together and they are known for working well in teams.

Beastmaster: Yes She may seem odd, but if it means I get to tame any animal in the world and never have to worry about stuff like snakes and bears, sign me the fuck up.

Sorcerer: Hell no I don’t care what anyone says, I’m not messing with that voodoo shit

Masked Hero: Maybe Not really good heroes, but they are fast and we can probably cosplay together.

Professor: Between Hell yeah - maybe I love me a sexy scientist, but the chances of me hanging out with one will depend on whether or not I’m actually friends with a magic knight first, because those two are known for getting along pretty well with each other. I say this because she likes to experiment and they can get dangerous, so I can have the magic knight make sure she’s kept in check.

Psychic: Probably not If their personality is either a pompous brat or edgelord, then it’s not happening. Aside from that, there’s still a chance they might take their powers a bit too extreme.

Mecha Girl: Yes I’m pretty sure everyone would love to have a robot friend of some sort, especially if their fans of Persona, Teenage Robot, Robotboy, Cubix, ect.

Sinner/Prinny: Between maybe - probably not It all depends on what they’re being charged with and how serious they’re taking their redemption. And unless if they were charged in a place like the Dark Court in Veldime, I’ll know full well that they were rightfully convicted.

Cheerleader: Yes Let’s not beat around the bush. You already know why I said yes to her. And if you don’t know, you’re either innocent or you haven’t seen her yet.

Android: Hell no! These guys are worse than angels as they actively see humans as vermin and are planning to wipe us out. Look, even I have mixed feelings about humanity itself, but that doesn’t change the fact that I’m human, so there’s no hope of us being friends.

Necromancer: Hell no Same as the sorcerer. Creeps me the fuck out.

Medic: Yes Never have to worry about my medical bills again. Plus she can fight with a sword? Sign me up.

Maid: Hell yeah! I don’t give a damn if she’s a zombie, she’s still a fucking maid! Besides, zombies in this series can’t turn you into one of them and their poison is easily treatable.

Wrestler: Probably not If I was still watching WWE, then maybe but now, nah.

Pirate: Probably not Unless if the item world is real, this guy is probably going to put me on a list.

Dark Knight: No The definition of emo when it comes to these classes.

Sage: Maybe She’s cool and I can see us reading a book together or something. Problem is, she’s basically all knowing and thus will know right away that I have the hots for her, making things awkward

Geomaster: Yes I would appreciate an improvement on my puzzle crafting and solving skills.

Spirit: No They’re literally classified as spirits that failed to become prinnies, so I know they’re not on some sort of redemption arc.

Undead: Maybe It depends on how bad they smell and how rotten their brains are, unlike the maids who typically have fully functioning minds despite their zombification. Yeah we can’t turn into one by their bites, doesn’t mean they’re not aggressive.

Dragon: Maybe It depends on how aggressive they are, especially since everybody loves to summon these guys, demons and angels alike. I’m also gonna need a lot of living space. This isn’t like the dragon maid anime.

Golem: Yes They’re the series equivalent to the “Gentle giant” tropes in certain shows like Org from Dragontales and the like. Don’t give them a reason to piss them off and you’ll be fine.

Lanturn: Hell no Fuck these guys. If you played the game, you’ll understand my frustration with these assholes.

Living Armor/Horseman: Maybe They may be chivalrous, but that doesn’t mean they’re not evil.

Felynn: Yes They’re cute and playful. Just gotta remember to watch the hands, because they’re trained to deal with unwanted gropers. Fuck around and find out.

Succubus: Between Hell yeah! - Probably not This is a tricky one honestly. Yeah it’s a fucking succubus for crying out loud, but there are some things to keep in mind like how aggressive they can be. Ask Adell, he got completely assaulted by one when she tried to trick him into giving up his soul in exchange for info. And yeah, you heard right, they eat souls like Morrigan Aensland. (Yes, I know Morrigan lives off of dreams and entertainment and she herself has reportedly never killed a human in canon, but she is capable of doing so.) And there are some like Seraphina that can mind control you, especially if you’re single and attracted to women. They CAN be loyal and friendly, but that’s only after you get to know them and stuff. And if your closest companion is a member of an all female race that isn’t a Felynn, then it’s just not happening. Your best bet would be to make sure you’re real good friends with a Felynn as they’re known to get along swimmingly with succubi. Hell, that alone might give you some benefits if you’re REAL lucky if you catch my drift. If not, then best to proceed with caution.

Gargoyles: Probably not Like with the gunner, they’re not really known for actually hanging out with others as they’re specifically crafted by wizards to be guardsmen. It’s not like we’re talking about the guys from the Disney cartoon.

Nether Noble: Maybe - No If they’re like Porkmeister then I can see myself hanging out with them because then I know they’re like Scrooge McDuck in a way. Can be greedy but a hard worker. Now if they’re like Hoggmeiser or Seraphina’s Dad then no because they’re practically like typical greedy corporate CEOs.

Orc: No Unless if they see me as their boss, then it’s not happening. They always looking for smoke.

Winged Warrior: Hell no Fuck these guys too.

Flora Beast: Yes It’s easy to tell whether or not if they see me as their enemy. If we first meet right away and they’re already trying to act cute and smell good, then they’re trying to take me out. If they’re hiding themselves under their petals, then they’re just being shy. Like with the cleric, it’s someone I can imagine relaxing and taking a nice little nap on or with. Oh what’s that? They might be trans? Well if they’re friendly, who gives a shit?

Roc: No These guys shat eggs on my party several times in Disgaea 2 and I have NOT forgiven them

Rifle Demon: Hell no Not only are they canonically confirmed to be pretty dumb, but even if I considered wanting to be friends them, that would require me to move otherwise my dad won’t be able to enjoy a bottle of beer ever again.

Sludge: No These slimes aren’t like Rimuru Tempest. They are dumb and aggressive.

Shroom: Probably not This isn’t afraid of me being afraid of it, it’s more like it being afraid of me, because these guys are constantly in fear of being eaten by others and will run off the moment they feel threatened.

Mythical Beast: Maybe Etna has shown that it is possible to tame one like a pet. Like with the Masked Hero, its speed would come in handy.

Slumber Cat/Deathsabbers: Probably not Slumber cats may be kept as pets like cats, but they do plot to dethrone their pet owners. And before anyone says (that’s exactly like regular cats), remember these guys have human level intelligence so they’ll be able to actually plot that out. And Deathsabbers are just the demonic versions of that.

Reaper: No. It’s a grim fucking reaper. It might be a bad thing if we DO become friends.

Evil Eye: Between maybe to no. If it has the rampaging cow personality then it’s not happening because that means it’s pretty damn aggressive. Aside from that, it would just look pretty sus if I’m caught hanging out with one.

Holy Dragon: Maybe Imagine Angemon from Digimon as a Disgaea class character. That’s this guy.

Imp: No. They’re incubi. Incubi looking for smoke in fact. I ain’t trying to get cucked.

Fairy: Probably not They’re cute but they’re always with their overprotective fathers.

Rabbits: Hell yeah! Remember, they can fight, but they’re pacifists. And who doesn’t want a cute rabbit companion?

Bear: No The fact that they get stronger the more damage they take like Lucario in Smash Bros automatically makes them scarier than the bears we have IRL.

Nine-tails: Maybe With one of these around, I might be able to increase my shitty luck, though there’s also a chance it could be made worse. Aside from that, they are pretty, though it can get annoying if they have the tsun personality.

Twin Dragon: No A regular dragon is risky enough. A twin headed one means that I’m probably going to be among a decent portion of people that are going to die.))

[teaandinanity]

I always forget how fast I can color if I lay in flats and then lock transparency. WHUPS.

This is my MC for Shepherds of Haven, a really neat WIP game (I wound up backing the patreon because I needed more Right Now Immediately and that gets alpha access, but the chapters that are currently available in the demo are pretty darn great and will enjoyably fill a few hours!). I’m gonna go replay her again with a new name and see if this one sticks. XD

[logo-dojo]

I'm listening to a riding on a "carriage ride through the woods" ambiance playlist and I got inspired. Enjoy.

The night is still, there are no storms tonight. A winding path with swaying tress that surround it. It's beautiful, really. The peace of the wind, moon; the chirping of nearby insects, the occasional who from a wise owl. And the sound of hooves hitting pure earth. What they carry makes soft clinging chimes, but it is not overpowering. Just peace. Just the night.

Two men on horseback walk down what seems to be a never ending path tonight.

Hanzo shimada, the dark archer in a hooded cloak; riding a midnight mare. He carries bow and arrow on his back, he didn't trust putting it with the luggage. What can be seen of his body, show's it's defined, perfectly muscular in the smoothest way known to man. Or elf, in his case. His hair is sleek and soothing like the darkest blues of the sky, long as well. But it is tied back in a low ponytail with a golden Seigaiha ribbon acting as a tie. For the features under his hood, it twists in the meanest form of resting bitch face.

Riding beside this powerful elf is Jesse McCree, a simple human with impeccable aim. His horse varies, a strong stallion with amber hair and a mix of white and brown spots. He wears another cloak, one much more decorated and worn. It's red with western sunsets that act as accents. Most predominantly about his style, is his boots that have spurs, yes they make sound as well; and a leather cowboy hat that's seen better days. Jesse's cream button down has chest armor that catches the moon's reflection in it. He always wears a holster over his layered pants, it has a revolver he calls "Peacekeeper" in it.

Another thing to note about these two wanderers is the emotions they carry. Jesse Cowboy McCree is relaxed with that lopsided grin on his face. He rides like it's the most soothing thing in the world, like he's done this his whole life. If the peace this night had a embodiment, it'd be him.

Hanzo hardass Shimada, rides with posture and a tight grip on his horse's leash. Resting bitch face giving no signs of going away. He clashes with the night.

Jesse - You need to take a break?

Jesse genuinely asks. It catches Hanzo off guard and he takes his time answering.

Hanzo - No.

Hanzo trots past Jesse, who quickly catches up, getting amused despite Hanzo's annoyance.

Jesse - It's just, if ya squeeze that leash any tighter it might break.

Hanzo finally, finally, turns to him in a stone cold stare. Yet Jesse doesn't look away from it.

Jesse - Something bothering you?

He asks once more, still laced with care. Hanzo sighs like this is the hardest thing he's had to do today.

Hanzo - Are we not out in the open, vulnerable? We could be attacked by anything.

Jesse chuckles, as if Hanzo just told the funniest joke. Which does nothing to ease Hanzo.

Jesse - Darlin', I'm the best gunslinger there ever was. We can defend ourselves just fine.

Hanzo rolls his eyes, but Jesse does notice the slight realise in the man's hands.

Jesse - So stop worrying so much, and just enjoy this.

Hanzo - What is there to enjoy?

Jesse scoffs.

Jesse - The quiet, Darlin'.

Hanzo shoots up, not expecting that answer. Not in a million years, not from someone as gregarious and smooth as Jesse McCree.

Hanzo - Quiet?

Jesse - Yeah, the thing you love so much.

Hanzo shakes his head. His hoarse does too, seemingly interested but in a way that she's judging Hanzo.

Hanzo - I did not mean to oppose-

Jesse - I know, ya don't have to apologize. It's weird for me to like that, I get it.

There's a pause where Hanzo hears Jesse breath. It's soft and alive and deep. Hanzo waits.

Jesse - I'm a social guy and you've only seen that side, so it's understandable. Doesn't mean I don't like alone time where I can just-

Jesse pauses and Hanzo honestly thinks he's pushed too much. He focuses back on the road, still never ending. The little pebbles, the dirt, the speks of grass that's made its way on the path. So many little pieces of material coming together to paint a portrait.

Hanzo's daydreaming stops by a sudden drawl, it forces its way into his brain and pulls his head to look at the source.

Jesse - Just... relax. I can think whatever I want to. Say everything I never got to say, apologize to my mama for leaving her behind to join some gang and hope she hears me.

Jesse chuckles, and that softness and life and warmth melting into hurt that he tries to conceal with a dry laugh. Hanzo still stares at him in a different, empathetic, expression. After a pause, he finds the courage to speak.

Hanzo - I... used to have people too.

Jesse's heard snippets of this, so he keeps his mouth in interest to know more. He doubts he'll get the full story, but partial is just as good.

Hanzo - I- ... I used to have a little brother. When we were children, he meant everything to me. Every time I would find my classmates picking on him I'd defend him. At night when he had nightmares so bad he wouldn't fall back asleep, I soothed him. And-

Hanzo smiles sadly.

Hanzo - When we'd steal treats from the kitchen I would eat the parts of them he didn't want.

Jesse smiles too.

Jesse - Sounds like a dream, Darlin'

Hanzo - It was. But it never lasts; as we got older, we stopped.

He stops, unable to go on. He tenses again. Jesse speaks so kindly, it takes over Hanzo's mind twice.

Jesse - It all went to hell.

Hanzo nods.

Jesse - You don't have to talk about it if it hurts too much. I'm just glad I got you to loosen up for a minute.

Hanzo laughs, small but sincere. Jesse finds it evading his own brain.

Jesse - I um, had a few sisters. Was the only boy so pop tried hard to make sure I didn't grow up weak. Be the man when he was gone and all that.

A pause.

Jesse - He- He wasn't my favorite. I joined Deadlock cause I didn't want to die in a barn, like him. I didn't cry when he-

Jesse breaths again, regaining some of his warmth.

Jesse - My ma was that everything to me. She taught me and my sisters how to read animals, instead of just riding them. Included me in lessons on how to make flower crowns when pop wasn't looking. Her and my sisters were the only thing I regret leaving behind.

As Hanzo was about to speak, they reached a clearing. Jesse scanned it, then smiled.

Jesse - About time. Hey Han, help me set up?

Hanzo chooses to leave the past conversation behind to join Jesse on the ground. Gone is the tense full of a frown and not needed posture, he was relaxed now. A thought pashed past him, that he'd have to thank Jesse for this, but that was left behind too.

Hanzo - Sure.

[utilitycaster]

Updated Class Choices in Actual Play: main PCs

Original post here, I’m just doing the whole thing again instead of reblogging or something like that. Since making this post I’ve fully caught up with NADDPod and RQG and there’s been several new D20 seasons, so LET’S GO

potential spoilers for anything that isn’t a one-shot in Critical Role, TAZ Balance or Graduation, NADDPod, RQG, Relics and Rarities, and all D20 seasons. Also for reference: I’m counting Trinyvale and The Mavrus Chronicles as main campaigns, as well as all the D20 sidequests.

If a player or a PC leaves/character dies mid-campaign the character still counts as a main PC, as does that player’s replacement if the player themselves didn’t leave (eg: both Scanlan and Taryon are considered main PCs for CR campaign 1).

In a couple cases I did have to guess regarding what the base class was, for characters who were multiclass builds from the start, and I’ll note that.

Rusty Quill Gaming is pathfinder rather than D&D, and subclasses don’t fully line up (as for classes, most do and I’m counting Cel’s class as Artificer/Alchemist subclass in D&D).

In the case of subclass or class changes, which has happened a few times in D20 in particular, I’ve noted the change

Keep reading if you want the actual information!

Fighter is the most common, with 11, plus two multiclass dips into fighter. And, like D&D at large, human fighter is a very popular race/class combination. Champion is the most common subclass, with four characters (Magnus from TAZ, Hardwon from NADDPod, Fabian from Fantasy High, and Veros from Relics and Rarities). All but Fabian are humans, at least to start off, and Fabian and later Hardwon are half-elves. Bertie from RQG likely would have been the champion archetype in D&D as well. There are two battlemasters (Boomer and Jet, both from D20), and then it’s all over the place. The multiclassers are both barbarians multiclassed into battlemaster (Grog and Amethar). Of the fighters, one multiclassed into a rogue, one into a bard, and one (Jet) switched into fighter having originally been a rogue.

[edit on Nov 28 per an anon ask - Magnus is actually a Battlemaster despite Big Champion Energy! which means of the fighter-as-main-class, we have 3 each of champions and battlemasters, and Bertie from RQG which is pathfinder, and then one each of gunslinger (Percy), eldritch knight (Theo), arcane archer (Hungry Dave), and echo knight (Henry)]

Cleric is next up with 10, plus three characters who multiclassed into cleric. There’s no clear favorite for subclass - grave is the only domain with two characters (Caduceus and Efink) and the rest vary. Two characters, Kristen Applebees and Zolf Smith, have changed domains (and deities) over the courses of their respective campaigns. All but one of the dwarven main characters in actual play has been a cleric, and there have been a few humans, but otherwise it’s again pretty scattered. The multiclasses have also not shown a clear favorite (1 war, 1 city, 1 tempest). Note: I considered Fia and Saccharina both to be multiclasses into cleric, as well as Bob; no cleric base classes have multiclassed into another class. All the multiclasses into cleric are other spellcasting classes (wizard, sorcerer, and bard).

Barbarian and rogue are tied with 9 characters each, plus one multiclass into barbarian and three into rogue.

Barbarian: three berserkers, two each of ancestral guardian and zealot, and one each of wild soul and storm herald. There are two half-orcs and otherwise no race preference. As mentioned, two multiclassed into battlemaster fighters; there’s also a multiclass from barbarian into sorcerer (Fitzroy) and artificer (Gorgug). The lone multiclass into barbarian is Moonshine Cybin, a druid.

Rogue: there are two arcane tricksters, two inquisitives, and two swashbucklers, plus an assassin, a mastermind, and Sasha Racket who in D&D would probably be a thief. Thanks to D20 being like “toy is a race now” it’s hard to say what the overall race breakdown is, even counting all A Crown of Candy characters as human variants, but there are 1.5 goblins (Nott/Veth being the 0.5) and three confirmed humans (Ruby Rocks, Sasha Racket, and Marcus St. Vincent). Of the multiclasses into rogue, two are rangers who chose the assassin subclass (Vex and Liam Wilhemina) and one is a fighter (Magnus Burnsides, subclass not clear). The two rogues who multiclassed are Vax, who took levels in vengeance paladin and one in druid, and Ruby, who took levels in shadow sorcerer. (note: Jet Rocks is counted as a fighter as she gave up her rogue class entirely, but she was a rogue to start)

Bard is next with 8 characters, all but one of whom (swords) is a lore subclass, with one multiclass into bard. Fig Faeth was formerly a college of whispers bard, but switched into lore during Fantasy High Live. There are two tieflings and two fairies from D20, who I believe use elf stats, plus a high elf, a human, a gnome, and an aasimar. The multiclass into bard is Fabian Seacaster, a fighter; the multiclasses from a bard base class are Fig (into hexblade) and Bob (into city cleric).

Druid and Paladin are the next most common, with six characters; there is one multiclass into druid and two into paladin (and Vax is responsible for most of this)

Druid: The only repeat subclass is circle of the shepherd (Kugrash and Lillith) - the rest all again all over the place, and all six have different races. The multiclass into druid is the aforementioned Vax (rogue and paladin); the only druid to multiclass out is the aforementioned Moonshine (into barbarian).

Paladin: two oath of devotion (one of which, Ricky Matsui, switched to oath of redemption), one oath of the ancients and for a while, vengeance (Beverly), one oathbreaker (Cody “Night Angel” Walsh) and two are from pathfinder and difficult to determine from a D&D standpoint (Grizzop, of Artemis, and Azu, of Aphrodite). The races are completely all over the place again. None of the paladins have multiclassed, but there are two multiclasses into paladin (Vax and Fjord, a rogue and warlock respectively, into oath of vengeance and oath of the open sea, also respectively).

We have a four-way tie for next most common, with five each of ranger, sorcerer, warlock, and wizard.

Ranger: two beast master, two gloomstalker, and a hunter. There are two half-elves (Vex and Nyack) and no other real patterns. No one has multiclassed into ranger, but Vex and Liam W. both as mentioned multiclassed into assassin rogues.

Sorcerer: three draconic, one storm, and one wild magic. Two are human, and there are no other preferences for race. One (Saccharina) multiclassed into tempest cleric, and there are two multiclasses into sorcerer, both from battle classes (Fitzroy, a barbarian, into wild magic, and Ruby, a rogue, into shadow).

Warlock: three are hexblades, because let’s face it that class is extremely cool, one is a celestial warlock and one is a genie. No significant race overlap (technically, Lapin Cadbury uses the human stat block, and Iga is human) (I am assuming pactwraiths have revenant stats but like. who knows). The common ground for multiclassing into warlock is “Emily Axford likes to play hexblades”, with both Fig and Sofia taking levels in it; Fjord is the only warlock to multiclass out, into oath of the open sea paladin.

Wizard: two transmutation, one divination, one necromancer, and one chronurgist. Two are high elves, with no other preferences for race; Fia is the only one to have multiclassed (into war cleric) and no one has multiclassed into wizard.

And finally, tied for last but with four each, we have monk and artificer.

Monk: no subclass overlap until Sofia switched to Way of Shadow, but three are humans and one is probably a human equivalent (bittyfolk from Tiny Heist) - the subclasses represented are Cobalt Soul, Drunken Master, Shadow, and Long Death. No multiclasses into monk (like ranger, monk doesn’t offer too many benefits in a multiclass dip) but Sofia Bicicleta took a level in hexblade warlock.

Artificer: despite not being made official until relatively recently, this caught up, thanks to Zonk Verbena Zirk Vervain. Three are either alchemists or probably the equivalent thereof (Taryon is based on the UA version but is pretty clearly not a gunsmith, and Cel’s class is technically Alchemist, not Artificer, but Artificer with the alchemist subclass is probably the closest 5e equivalent), and one is an artillerist; no race preference. None have multiclassed, but Gorgug (barbarian) has taken a level in artificer.

And finally, there is one Bloodhunter, Mollymauk Tealeaf/Lucien is his name, murdering Cerberus Assembly members is his game.

-----------------------

several other fun facts from the giant list I made to do this:

Number of characters who have switched races or bodies during their campaign: 3

Number of characters who have switched deities/patrons during their campaign: 7

Number of characters who have briefly not had a class while their party was mid-level, with said change representing a major turning point for their character, but then came back stronger than ever having addressed the negative behaviors they learned from a seafaring father figure and having acquired a new plot-relevant weapon, and immediately multiclassed into a class that uses charisma for spellcasting: only two but it’s weird it happened twice

Number of characters whose first name or nickname is a food or drink: 6

Number of characters whose first name or nickname is a food or drink from A Crown of Candy: 0

Number of characters who typically go by only one name (ie, actively do not use their last name or any titles): 18

Number of characters who go by a given name and title/descriptor (eg: Adjective Firstname, Firstname the Title, Firstname of the Place): 8

Number of characters with three-part names (first, middle, last): 2

Number of characters with four-part names (first, two middles/a two-word nickname, last): 3

Number of characters with no name: 1

Percival Friedrickstein Von Musel Klossowski De Rolo III: but you can call him Percy

[icecreambeach]

a prompt I hope you saw coming: McCree, sunning his butthole

I did my best to live up to this real-life comedy gold.

So this takes place very early on in the gang’s reunion, when they’re still training as a team and Hanzo/Genji are still a little tense with each other. (Hopefully I kind of conveyed that through context clues alone but just wanted to be sure since I didn’t want to spend a lot of time polishing this because I have lol zero time.)

I hope it TAINT bad.    : - D

-

The simulation is set: nine opponents, fourteen hazards and two environments. McCree figures the first will be blizzard—why else would Mei be up in the box, waving down at them with that innocent smile?—but he has no clue on the second.Probably it has something to do with Genji, since he’s over half an hour late.

“It’s not like him,” mutters Angela, a little too opaque to show any judgment.Hanzo’s judgment, however, is very clear; he snorts loud enough for even Winston to look over, and he’s all the way up in the box with Mei.“I’m sure he’s just puttin’ the finishing touches on things,” Jesse drawls, nudging his boot into the concrete to scratch an itch on his heel.

“My brother is not one for keeping to a schedule,” says Hanzo. The effort to keep any bitterness out of his tone must’ve been monumental.

Jesse’s a quickdraw with more than a gun, so he’s a little miffed when Reinhardt gets to be magnanimous before he can: “I have seen people change in greater ways and in far less time  than in our Genji.” He clasps a hand on Hanzo’s shoulder and Jesse feels even more miffed when the archer doesn’t bristle and brush Reinhardt away like his usual character would dictate. “Perhaps he will surprise you.”

Hanzo seems to hum and cough at the same time. Reinhardt takes his hand back and Jesse licks his teeth behind his lips. “Dunno ‘bout that, Rein. Dickin’ off to meditate is still dickin’ off.”But both Reinhardt and Hanzo give him looks of disappointment and displeasure, respectively. Jesse coos out air like the room is getting hot, looking up at nothing, then turns instead to Angela, who is masterfully ignoring the entire situation.

“You get those new bio-shots in yet, doc?”“Not yet. But the shipment should come any day now. It’s not unusual for that kind of order to take so long. I once tried to have two gallons of e-CTM delivered to a safe house in Bucharest and the driver—”“Oh thank Christ,” Jesse mutters when Genji jogs into the room.“Forgive my lateness,” says Genji. “Torbjorn had not yet finished our suits.”The whole team squints at him. “Suits?” says Reinhardt.

Genji sets down twin crates and hits a button on their sides to let them snap open. “Winston wanted me to set the environment today, so I decided on fire.”Hanzo scoffs even louder than before. Jesse gets the feeling there’s some joke he’s not in on.Reinhardt, ever doe-eyed, persists: “fire?”“Yes. But these suits are not fire-repellant. They are fire-attractive.”Angela actually sounds intrigued, if a tad apprehensive: “come again?”“They will attract fire.” Genji takes out a suit and holds it up; it looks like a Tour de France onesie, only with far shorter shorts. Jesse thinks he’d be shocked if they even cleared his inner thighs. “Particularly to the torso and head.”“Gotta be shittin’ me,” mutters Jesse, turning away, spurs clicking.“Ridiculous,” rumbles Hanzo.“I do not see why I deserve such dissent,” Genji says, his robotic voice a lofty, melodic drawl. “I have designed this course to mimic the eventuality of a burning building. Something most of you would have difficulty overcoming,” he adds with a carefree lilt and tilt of his head. He leans towards the room com link on the wall and holds down the button, carrying his voice to the box above as well as the entire room. “Winston, Mei—you’ll find the simulation code under command 12-A.”

“If you are selecting an environment in which you are already an expert,” Hanzo drawls back, his own voice the total opposite of carefree, “then what is the point of your participating?”“It will still be a challenge for me. I have not been in the position of having to assist other teammates during a battle for a long time.”“Yes,” Hanzo crosses his arms, and Jesse pre-winces before the man even finishes, “Your position is more often far behind enemy lines, getting yourself injured and then calling for help.”Genji crosses his arms, too, though he keeps his tone light. “Now, brother. That was long ago.”“So that has never happened, then?” Hanzo quickly fixes his intense gaze on Angela, who hesitates just one second too long; Hanzo looks back at Genji with the most superior smirk Jesse has ever seen.Genji rolls back one shoulder, seemingly unperturbed. It’s hard to tell with the mask. “Overwatch is based on teamwork. We have all been in the position of requiring help from time to time. That is the reality of working with others—something that you, perhaps, could benefit to learn.”“I have worked in groups many times, as you are well aware.”“And the general of a group, what is their position, often?”“I do not have to explain myself to you.”“No, you just need to adhere to the new order of things.”“You should adhere to—”“I can’t wear that!”Everyone turns to look at Jesse.

The gunslinger clears his throat—he hadn’t really meant to shout—and squares his hips towards Genji. “I can’t put that on.”Genji lowers his arms and puts one hand on his hip, obviously sensing another mutineer. “And why not?”“There’s no way those things ain’t gonna ride up my groin like they’re goin’ for a chokehold. You ever see those boxer-briefs where the legs are just a tad too short on a guy with big thighs? Turn into tighty-whities before you can—”“Oh, please,” says Angela, barely suppressing an amused, if a little grossed-out grin. “I’ve seen you wear far more uncomfortable things for a mission, Jesse. It will only be for a couple hours.”“Certainly!” Reinhardt half-lifts his axe, “Remember those wet-suits in the North Sea? I could hardly breathe! And we were in those all day. Also, my thighs are far—”“Well I wasn’t dealin’ with localized bodily damage at the time, Rein.”“Damage?” Angela looks him up and down. “Are you hurt?”“Naw,” Jesse pulls the brim of his hat down, which he quickly realizes he should not have done, because most of them know him well enough to take that as a clear signal that he is hiding something. “I mean… not in any… it wouldn’t interfere.”

“It seems to be interfering now,” says Genji.“Jesse, if you are injured, you cannot just keep it to yourself. What if we had to ship out today?”“Tell us what it is, Jesse,” says Winston over the room com. “Better to take care of it now.”“It don’t need takin’ care of!” Jesse grumbles, his voice growing louder without his consent. “I just… I can’t be wearin’ shit like that.”Genji looks at the suit still in his hand, then slowly back at Jesse, who feels all the hairs on his arms stand up. “Is it a…” He gestures vaguely to his own pelvic area.“No! Jesus. I mean… not in the way you’re…”

Jesse’s throat closes up as he realizes the deep, deep hole he’s dug under his own feet. Everyone is staring at him with varying levels of suspicion, except for Hanzo, whose face looks more like… alarm? Apprehension?

Jesse sighs. Just get it over with.

He mumbles under his breath.“Sorry?” says Angela. Genji takes a step closer.“I sun-burned my perinmhihmm,” Jesse mutters a little louder, still barely legible.“Wait,” says Genji, who physically removes the com-link from the wall and holds it up to Jesse’s mouth, holding down the button so that his voice echoes like God’s judgment. “Can you just,” the cyborg almost trips over his barely-suppressed laughter, “Can you repeat that please Jesse?”Jesse stares him dead in his green-lit visor and, in his most confident drawl, announces to the entire room: “my pucker hole is crazy burned.”

The laughter hits them all differently: Genji’s head flies backwards with a sharp bark that dissolves into ludicrous snorting, Reinhardt brays one loud note that bounces off the walls again and again, Angela covers her mouth and laughs until Jesse sees her whole face turn red, and Hanzo, also hiding his mouth with his hand, lets his chuckles mostly just shake around inside his chest. He’s the only one who doesn’t look away from Jesse.

“Alright.” Jesse looks up towards the box where Mei is leaning over a console as if having a heart attack and Winston is trying to make sure she’s okay through his own chortling. “Alright, now. Ain’t that goddamn funny.”“Are you shitting me?” Genji, barely able to stay upright, shakes his open hand fingertips-first at Jesse, “How? How could that have possibly happened?”“It’s… it’s a type a’yoga! Shit. You never heard of it?” Jesse puts his hands on his hips, decides he might as well own it. “S’called ‘perineum sunning.’” While Genji collapses into laughter all over again, he goes on, “S’all about absorbing the sun into your body through your… your grundle.” Genji is almost on the floor now, repeating the word ‘grundle’ to himself like it’s a holy mantra. “I been having, y’know, trouble sleepin’ and the like… thought it’d boost my auric field with the power o’the sun and whatnot. Keep my life force from leaking out and all.”Now Genji is repeating ‘leaking’ to himself in a very high-pitched voice while Angela, bless her, manages enough self-control to speak. “Joking aside… Jesse, that does sound serious. Have you… done anything…?”“No! What am I supposed to do? Stick a biotic emitter up there and hope for the best?”“N-no,” says Angela, still fighting giggles but blessedly stepping in front of Reinhardt and Genji, who are both using Reinhardt’s hammer as a kind of crutch for their hysterics. “But some burn ointment may help. Do you have any aloe vera?”Jesse snorts. “Yeah… probably in my kit somewhere.”“You should apply some. Perhaps… perhaps you should sit out this session to do so. We can… ping Lucio to replace you.”“God, yes, please,” Genji wheezes, “Please let’s bring Lucio out here.”Fully aware that Lucio is not really an appropriate replacement for what he brings to the table, Jesse grumbles a thank-you and turns heel for the door. But right before he exits (since Genji and Reinhardt are still laughing), he sticks his head back in to add: “it’s an ancient fuckin’ Taoist practice!”

-

An hour later, someone knocks at Jesse’s door. He almost ignores it, but at the second knock—faster, snappier—he gets up to at least see who it is. If it’s Genji and Lucio come to taunt him, he can at least open the door with his gun in his hand.But it’s Hanzo, standing all regal with his hands resting inside his kimono jacket. Obviously still amused but doing a good job of trying to hide it. A much more welcome sight, despite everything.

Jesse taps the door command and leans on the frame with as much swagger as he can muster. “Well hey there. Sim went by kinda quick, huh?”“Yes,” says Hanzo, those perfectly-shaped lips toying with a smirk, “It was difficult to achieve adequate team cohesion after your… announcement.”“Well, ain’t my fault we’re workin’ with a couple’a gigglin’ frat boys,” Jesse sighs, stepping aside.

The door hisses shut behind Hanzo, who immediately walks to the console. “Athena, cease surveillance of this room. Command three dash eight hundred and four.”“Confirmed,” says Athena.“Still don’t know how you managed to swipe Winston’s command codes,” chuckles Jesse.“It was a crime of necessity.” Hanzo comes up close, presses against Jesse’s front. Chin tipped up to smirk at him. “I don’t want anyone seeing or hearing what I do to you.”Jesse opens his mouth to agree, but Hanzo seizes that opportunity to plant his own mouth there, tugging down on the gunslinger’s chin to line them up. Their arms wrap, their bodies slot, and Jesse lets out a low rumble of pleasure. Hanzo kisses him slower and warmer than he has yet and the effect is melting. Time goes still and Jesse swears he hears a bird singing.

“Wha,” Jesse clears his throat, when it’s over, looks down at Hanzo from heavy-lidded eyes. “What was that for?”“For lying for me,” Hanzo hums. “I will admit,” He playfully unbuttons Jesse’s flannel shirt, “That was the most unorthodox way of getting out of having to show a hickey I have ever heard of, but I commend your creativity.”“Huh?”Hanzo gently pats Jesse’s cheek, still smiling. “Stay with me, cowboy. I appreciate you keeping our time together a secret. I do not know how the others would have reacted if they saw what I did to your thighs.”“Oh.” Jesse takes a half-step back, still loosely holding Hanzo by the elbow with one hand while the other scratches at a side-burn. “Well… yeah, Han. I know you wanna keep things quiet for now.”“It is for both our benefit,” Hanzo mutters into Jesse’s jaw. “It is… I have never done this before. Nothing like this. I want to take things slowly.”“O’course. I mean, I… y’know I’ve had a shaky run of things, too. Though I’d yell it from the top of the rock this afternoon, if you gave the go-ahead.”Hanzo chuckles, that warm, resonant rumble that Jesse is already falling a little bit in love with. “Perhaps someday.”As he goes to kiss down Jesse’s throat, the gunslinger coughs a little. “Well, there’s… I mean, there’s that, but…”Hanzo’s smile fades as he blinks up at Jesse. A shadow of worry crosses his face and Jesse’s heart spasms in pain. “But what?”Jesse sighs again, only with ten times more despair than in the simulation room.“But I really did burn my pucker hole.”There’s a moment in which Hanzo just stares with gently widened eyes, as if he doesn’t understand. Then a bubble of disbelieving laughter makes his chest contract. “You…” More chuckles bubbles up and Jesse thinks it’d be damn endearing, the way this usually self-controlled man can’t hold back his laughter, if he didn’t feel a very real burn of embarrassment spreading across his own face. Not to mention the burn between his ass cheeks.“You what?” Hanzo asks, as if he is really trying to give Jesse the benefit of the doubt here.

“I went down on you for nigh on an hour yesterday on the top of a cliff with my bare ass pointed at a 3pm sun in the goddamn Mediterranean, Han! What did you think was gonna happen?” Jesse pauses, his eyes fly off somewhere up and to the left, then come back to Hanzo with his tone even higher-pitched: “and you don’t think I’d come up with a better lie than that if I had to!?”

“I didn’t… I am sorry, I did not…” Hanzo is practically choking, his hand slapped up over his mouth again.Jesse sighs. He looks at Hanzo, with his shaking shoulders and his bouncing bang-hair, and a rueful half-smile breaks through his irritation. “S’okay, darlin’. You can laugh. It’s funny.”Then Hanzo lets out a bark of laughter even louder and grander than Genji’s, his head tossing back in a very similar fashion. His hands tremble as they hold onto Jesse’s shirt flaps for dear life. The sight is almost enough to make Jesse forget about the horrible, horrible pain.It’s not long before the archer comes back down to earth. “I,” Hanzo starts, wiping away a tear, “I am deeply sorry for this… for your…”“Yeah, yeah.” Jesse adjusts the waistband of his loose sweatpants, which is about the only article of clothing his ass can stand now. “Never gonna live this one down, y’know that? Genji’s probably gonna bring it up at my goddamn funeral.”“I apologize,” Hanzo says, both hands still holding onto Jesse’s shirt. “Why did you not say something sooner?”“Couldn’t find the right words, I guess.”“‘My pucker hole is crazy burned’ now seem like the only right words.”Jesse scoffs and rolls his eyes and cackles into his hand, then winces as the movement makes his thighs shift too much. Suddenly he turns boyish: “it really hurts, sweetheart.”Then Hanzo draws forward with a sound like a low, rough coo, and smoothes out Jesse’s shirt. “If you are truly in need,” his eyes sweep up to Jesse’s and Jesse can’t express how much that adds to his downstairs discomfort, “I can assist you with that aloe vera.”“Really, Han, you ain’t gotta—”“I insist. It is the least I can do after your…” Hanzo gets closer, smirks with those cat-like eyes dangerously narrowed, “…Skilled favors.”Jesse feels a very different kind of burning and chuckles, looking off to the side. “Aww, Han. I don’t think that’ll be as enjoyable as you’re makin’ it sound…”“I will make it enjoyable.” He lowers his hand and palms over Jesse’s cock to prove his point. Licks Jesse’s bottom lip into his mouth and lets it slide out between his teeth.Well, shit. “Alright,” Jesse sighs, “You insisted and all.”

“Mmm,” Hanzo purrs, still rubbing Jesse through his sweats. “And do not worry about Genji. I know many stories of his that more than overshadow yours.”“As nice as that is, darlin’, I really don’t wanna talk about your brother right now.”“Then stop talking and get on the bed.”

[huckleberrytm-a2]

𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐦 𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐬 // 𝐀𝐋𝐖𝐀𝐘𝐒 𝐀𝐂𝐂𝐄𝐏𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 !

@koeii​ asked:  "Do you love her?" It's been a weird few months, things have gone from tense, to quiet to, him telling her everything, it's by no means perfect, but Jesse hasn't left, he has stayed among them, and even Hanzo is somewhat suprised. "You don't have to answer." It isn't his right but she can see she's at ease after speaking to the gunslinger.

                    𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐁𝐔𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒   of that is yours ??  the immediate response on his tongue is perhaps not the WISEST, and thus he holds it back. it very much is hanzo’s business, unfortunately, given that the HER in question is his wife. jesse doesn’t want to admit that; he would sooner toss peacekeeper in a gutter than he would acknowledge the uneasiness in his heart, how a tiny part of him LONGS to belong to a family that isn’t his. his past ghosts have caught up to him and he needs to accept that ... the only two people he’s ever had a real shot in hell with have made their own family, TOGETHER. there’s no room for a shady loudmouthed cowboy among a husband, a wife, and their children.

          with all that in mind, JESSE isn’t even sure why he’s still here. the honest truth is that he has nowhere better to go; it’s this, or it’s back to the desert with nothing but his gun and his THOUGHTS. he’s not so sure he could handle the latter right now. he knows if he leaves that he will stew on the memories he left behind, like the girl in china who made him feel ALIVE and how exhilarating it was to have something so unbelievably innocent. jesse misses that, more than he will EVER admit.

          it’s all so complicated, now; it’s all about do you love her, does he love you, do you forgive him ??   it doesn’t make him feel warm and fuzzy, like hanzo did on all those lazy mornings in bed or the way it did when he fell asleep in mulan’s room without meaning to and awoke with her head on his shoulder. now, it feels like a big ball of STATIC roiling in his head and in his gut, enough to keep him awake for days on end and staring, unblinking, into the ceiling of his guest room. it makes him wonder if this is meant to be the rest of his life; LONELINESS beyond a facade of happiness and openness, a series of questions that only he can answer yet NEVER WILL.

          it makes him angry, and angrier still that hanzo would have the nerve to ask him such a weighty question. teeth grit and his hazel hues avert from the archer’s, instead catching on the metal GLINT of his own fingers.

          ❝ what in sam hill are you tryin’ to START, hanzo ?? ❞   his voice is a low growl, practically defeated.   ❝ ya can’t have the best of both worlds. i ain’t seen her in a long time, ‘n i want to catch up with her. don’t mean i’m in LOVE with her, so you best get that outta your damn head before i knock it out myself. ❞

tagging @adversitybloomed​

[moonguilt]

please give me more kl headcanons.😔

OKAY people this got WAY out of hand and i wrote 7 pages of an entire au plotline so uh. sorry everybody but it’s gonna be split into at least a couple different postswe’ll call this CHAPTER 1: (chapter 2 can be found HERE)I roleplay on MMORPGs so you’re gonna have to deal with my self indulgent online roleplaying AU. There will be klance but I have to SET THE STAGE first so bear with me. basically this is just multiplayer online video game roleplaying garbage. on that note, enjoy.

hunk and pidge were the first ones to discover the video game “Voltron.” they dicked around on it just to test out the game controls and perhaps get coding ideas for a game they are trying to create, but they ended up kinda enjoying it. the gameplay has its issues but is overall pretty fluid.

hunk plays a rogue. he has to turn the game volume down sometimes because of the gross gorey noises the game makes when he stabs people. he probably would have rerolled as a different class just to escape the gruesome sound effects, but he really likes being able to enter stealth. he says it makes him feel “safe”

pidge plays a mage. hunk is under the impression that it’s because she wants to play a class with high intelligence points, and pidge doesn’t correct him. but really she just likes the idea of turning her enemies into frogs

shiro is hanging out with matt one day and ends up watching pidge play. he wants to be Hip and Cool so he decides to create a trial account and see if he likes it. turns out, he’s TERRIBLE at the actual gameplay (his computer reflexes are Bad and he keeps dying to basic mechanics on literally every boss fight. matt downloads the game and creates a priest out of pity just to help keep shiro alive while he levels)

“this is demeaning for everyone involved”

“you’re the one who has died seven times now to haxus. literally all you have to do is not stand in the fire. you’re a FULLY ARMORED PALADIN TANK how are you dying so quic—wait a minute. shiro. shiro why are you still wearing your level 1 starting gear.”

however, he finds out that the server they’re playing on has a roleplaying community! he figures he doesnt need swift reflexes to roleplay, so he starts dipping his toe into RP and discovers he really likes it. he enjoys writing stories about his heroic character, and enjoys combining those stories with the stories of other people he meets in the game. it’s like collaborative fantasy fiction writing, and it quickly becomes a passion of his

pidge and matt tease him endlessly for it. hunk is an angel and is very supportive of shiro’s new hobby. he is the only one who will listen to shiro gush about his character. unfortunately when shiro designed the character, he did not have a good grasp on roleplay, so the character is goofy looking and has an overly dramatic backstory involving dragons and a lost royal bloodline. hunk kindly chooses not to comment on it, and instead helps him develop new ideas and plots for his character’s adventures

eventually shiro manages to convince hunk to give RP a try. hunk is very careful and does a lot of research on the Voltron universe lore. he reads all the fanmade wiki pages, roleplaying guides on the game forums, etc., until he feels confident he can create a good character. he does (and eventually goes on to be a popular community figure who hosts huge server events and is friends with literally everyone, but that is several months down the line), and he and shiro begin their roleplaying adventures together

hunk gets Really Into It. fast. like faster than shiro. and he takes it SERIOUSLY; he is a total lore nerd & WILL tell you (in a very gentle, caring tone) if your character’s story/actions do not comply with the game’s established lore

“your character’s outfit is so cool! btw tho, I noticed you mentioned your character was born in the castle of lions—just wanted to let you know, it was actually only rediscovered and unlocked about 10 years ago in the game’s timeline, so it wouldn’t really make work for your character to be born there, since they’re 27 D: but if you want I can help you come up with a different birthplace :)”

keith, lance, and allura had thus far managed to resist the voltron bug. they just aren’t into mmorpg stuff, they insist. single-player games, sure, but open-world multi-player? sounds weird

lance falls first. Hunk hits him with the puppy dog eyes and its all over for him

he creates the most ridiculously beautiful character he can

“i dont care about whether my guy is a freaking dps or not, hunk, i need him to have an ass like a kardashian. WHERE IS THE BUTT SLIDER HUNK. i have a NICE ASS and i want it IMMORTALIZED IN PIXEL FORM”

he does, in fact, end up picking dps. hunk shows him the archer class and he lights up like a christmas tree

“i know you always wanted to bone legolas, so”

“i wanted to BE legolas, not BONE him, HUNK”

“sure lance”

allura falls next. her and lance’s weekly “self-care spa sessions” turn into lance rambling about all the wacky stuff he and hunk and shiro got up to that week, and she eventually cracks under the pressure because she Hates when there’s a new fad and she doesn’t understand it

“and then this guy came up to us and started roleplaying with us in ALL LOWER CASE and shiro and i wanted to d i e but hunk was all ‘nooo he’s just a newbie in need of some pointers’ and then spent the next TWENTY FREAKING MINUTES giving this guy tips and tricks about grammar and punctuation–”

within 2 days she has gotten almost halfway through leveling her new druid healer because she is Determined damn it

coran, allura’s uncle, also begins playing shortly thereafter. allura never says why exactly, but it does seem to be a direct result of her influence somehow. he plays a gunslinger class because he’s “always wanted to be a ‘rooting & tooting cowboy,’ as you call it!”

for whatever reason, he is Very Good at the game, like freakishly skilled. everyone is kind of afraid to question it so they just accept it and move on

he and pidge are really the only ones who are focusing on the actual game content anymore, so they start doing high-level raids together and then begin to gain something of a reputation as a terrifying duo in player-versus-player combat.

keith is resilient. he is a notoriously stubborn boy and no amount of puppy dog eyes from hunk or persuasive lectures from shiro will convince him to step outside his comfort zone

but lance, well. lance knows exactly how to get keith to do what he wants

“i bet you just know my character’s way cooler than yours would be��

“?? no. i literally dont care about your character or anybody else's”

“huh. guess i will just always be better at video games than you”

“are you seriously still trying to hold your killbot phantasm score over my head. you got lucky”

“i am the peerless king of video games–”

“are you listening to yourself. do you actually hear the words coming from your mouth.”

“–undefeated because you are too much of a coward–”

“fuck OFF send me the fucking download link you loudmouth”

keith takes. forever. to design his character.

lance is leaning over the back of keith’s chair, giving outrageous suggestions (and blatant lies) that keith pointedly ignores

“keith. keith if you give him neon orange hair it boosts your speed, did you know that?”

“choosing big ears gives you greater perception stats keith”

“keith listen to me, you gain the ability to breathe underwater if you choose a broken nose—OW, what the hell–”

keith takes SO LONG that eventually lance has to leave for dance lessons and when he gets back keith is only JUST finishing up

turns out he took so long because he wanted to use every resource available in the game to make the character look like a carbon copy of himself. the end result would have been impressive if it wasn’t so eerily accurate

“you’re seriously naming him keith kogane.”

“it’s my name!”

“keith it’s a ROLEPLAYING game. you’re supposed to play a ROLE”

“and my role is keith kogane.”

“that doesnt even fit the naming conventions for the humans in this game! hunk would be having a FIT right now if he was here”

“good thing he’s not”

keith selects the warrior class because, as lance repeatedly and petulantly insists, he is a “boring basic bitch fuckboy”

“im the fuckboy?? thats rich coming from a guy who plays an archer because he has a big fat crush on orlando bloom in a blond wig”

“HUNK is spreading LIES okay I do NOT have a cru–”

“i dont know what you see in him. he’s literally just a white lotor”

“you TAKE THAT BACK”

to be continued :)

[2for1dragons]

A one shot (now with ART at the end!)

This is already on AO3, but I’m daring myself to re-post. I had an accompanying piece done in May by the amazingly talented kirashion. She’s not on tumblr anymore (you can still see her work circulating though), but you can find her on Instagram. She also has a Linktree there to her twitter and other outlets. I was going to be selfish and keep this piece just for me for eternity, but I asked for permission to share. I want to show her my continued love and hopefully have others send her some too! Oh yeah, I guess I wrote this lol. It’s 800-ish words and called “Proposal”.

“There you are. My intuition told me that I might find you here.”

Hanzo found McCree sitting slumped against a supply bin at the apex of the watchpoint, overlooking the endless sea. His signature hat and serape lay in a crumpled heap beside him as he was lost in thought, glued to the evening horizon. His gaze remained on the shimmering waters as he gave a distracted reply.

“I’m sorry ‘bout missin’ dinner. Wasn’t hungry.”

McCree sluggishly raised his prosthetic arm. As he examined it, Hanzo knew that he was witnessing a rare moment of insecurity. The cowboy slowly curled and unfurled his metal fingers as he inspected the new scratches added to the established collection on the shiny surface.

His confidence was fading. It seemed as if every mission in the last year had been a close call, a victory far from guaranteed. A bullet had grazed him that afternoon: a shot allowed by his own mistake. What should have been a killing blow to the head had instead veered into the target’s shoulder. If the offender had noticed Hanzo at his flank, the round could have easily destroyed skin… or a skull.

McCree was the renowned sharpshooter, the legendary Deadeye. He wasn’t supposed to miss. He couldn’t afford to; not now, not ever. While Hanzo was exceedingly capable, he had placed his beloved in harm’s way. McCree’s normally booming voice retreated to a near whisper as doubt spread like wildfire inside him. For him, the one-off was inexcusable. Now, he questioned everything.

“Han… we’ve been on this ride for years now, you n’ me. This stallion ain’t what it used to be. Y’know you could have anyone in the world– someone who could give you a life without chaos. Don’t cha want better?”

Hanzo clenched his fists as he pivoted away, offended by the question. His tone was severe as he scolded his significant other.

“You are spouting utter nonsense.”

He paused as he struggled to express the emotions welling up inside him:

“That aside… you know full well that I cannot answer your absurd remark with mere words.”

Hanzo walked over to speak with the gunslinger face to face. He stood over him, concerned, for a short time, hoping that McCree’s umber eyes would instinctively meet his own as they always did. When they failed to do so, Hanzo went down on bended knee. McCree scoffed at the chivalrous gesture, blowing it off.

“What the hell are y-”

Hanzo’s glare stopped his quip dead in its tracks. The archer’s gaze was so intense that one could almost see the flames of his dragon soul blazing brightly behind the dark irises that commanded such attention.

“Listen well, you fool.”

With the cowboy silenced, Hanzo spoke with absolute purpose in his voice.

“Before we met, I was already attempting to escape forces far greater than law and order. Through my own actions, I had sentenced myself to a life that I would not force upon even my worst enemy… one of unbearable regret. You have given me a gift without equal; the ability to forget. My chains have been broken, banished to another place and time. In your company, I am reminded of who I am– not who I was.”

To McCree’s surprise, Hanzo gently placed his right hand on his cheek, in a loving touch. To Hanzo, the sun-kissed skin and rough stubble against his palm were both warm and familiar, a source of comfort so many times before. He cherished the sight as he continued:

“Jesse… your existence is beyond the weapon you wield or the burdens you bear. It was on an evening like this that you stated such, if I am not mistaken. I have chosen my partner for my dances with death, and he is more than a man to me. If I was ever granted one wish? It would be to know that he felt the same.”

McCree closed his eyes in contentment as he raised his hand to join Hanzo’s. A calm surged through his veins, soothing his body. His heart was full as he softly chuckled.

“That’s my Hanzo alright. Can’t say anythin’ plainly, and beats around the bush with frilly words.

–Funny way to ask someone to marry ya, ain’t it?”

Jesse McCree sighed in relief as he opened his eyes to see the man he held dear, the person whose worth was impossible to explain. Hanzo Shimada held his breath as he waited for the voice that he so adored speak the words he longed to hear.

Once, they had been two drifters in an unforgiving world. With trust and time, they had become two halves of a whole. The future was riddled with uncertainty. But, McCree would never let go of Hanzo’s hand. It was his to have and to hold, til death did they part.

“You and your stuffy formalities… but, it does take two to tango.”

He sealed his promise once and for all.

“I do.”

[neonganymede]

Number 22 for mchanzo please? Love u ❤❤❤❤❤❤

Aahhh thank you!!

22. “Choose me.”

Jesse McCree looked aroundhis room and found it bare. Nothing to suggest he’d ever been there. Nothing tosuggest he might come back. Nothing of himself within these grey walls he’d calledhome twice.

He slung his bag over hisshoulder. Paused. Tried to stifle the reluctance brewing in his stomach.

Leaving was for the best.It was a mantra he’d repeated a countless number of times in front of hisbathroom mirror. Leaving was for the best. The more he said it, the less hebelieved it, and the more he wanted to just unpack and stay instead of being a fucking coward—

Jesse took a deep breath. Bestto leave on a high note, anyway. Nothing had happened. Nobody would suspect thereal reason he wanted to leave. And if they did? Maybe he could get out before someonecalled him out on it.

Leaving was for the best.Maybe one of these days, he would believe it.

Jesse left his room, emptyand devoid of any trace he’d been there. Later, if anybody realized he hadn’t beenthere for breakfast or training, then one of them might go check on him. Find nothingbut the faint aroma of tobacco.

Maybe it would be Angie,and she could get all annoyed with the realization he’d been smoking in hisroom. Or maybe Genji, who probably wouldn’t tell anybody for a while; he’dunderstand and give Jesse the opportunity to get a head start.

Probably, though… Hanzowould be the one to check on him. He wouldn’t be there for their morning practiceor for lunch, which both of them attended religiously if they weren’t out on amission. Hanzo would probably go to his room and knock. Wait. Call out for him.Wait.

Hell, maybe Hanzo wouldeven kick down the door. McCree got a little chuckle out of that. Probably not.He’d just ask Athena where McCree was.

And then Athena would tellHanzo that Jesse wasn’t on the base anymore. Left early in the morning, beforethe sun was up. Didn’t even have the decency to fucking say goodbye, just ranoff.

Likea fucking coward.

McCree shoved away thethoughts as he continued down the hallway, careful to keep quiet. The lastthing he needed was somebody hearing him and coming out to see what the noisewas. Then he’d have to explain, and explanations were messy.

He thought about stoppingby some of their drinking spots. The ledge atop the watchpoint, where Hanzoliked to monkey himself up and McCree used the stairs like a normal fuckingperson. The lounge, where Hanzo had fallen asleep on him for the first time.Hell, he even thought about stopping by Hanzo’s room to just stare at the doorlike a fucking creep, but no. He avoided all of those places.

Just made for the door,fully intending on vanishing into the dark cover of morning twilight. He madeit pretty far, too. He was outside, headed for the open road. Ready to leave everythingbehind him (again) and everybody he ever cared about (again) and not look back.

“Going somewhere,gunslinger?”

McCree stiffened. Shit. He turned around to find Hanzo leaningagainst the wall and watching him. Not the Hanzo that everybody was used toseeing, with his hair up and his clothes pristine. No, this was Jesse’s Hanzo, whose hair was free and a little disheveled and who wore sweatpantsand a t-shirt in place of his usual garb. This was the Hanzo that not many knewexisted but which Jesse knew intimately.

This was the Hanzo that he—

“Funny,” continued Hanzoin a tone that suggested he did not find this very funny at all, “I do notrecall you mentioning that you might be leaving. Is there a mission?”

McCree ground his teeth.Fucking Shimadas and their sneakiness. He should’ve known one of them wouldcatch him. He just wished it had been the damn ninja and not the one he’d beenhoping to avoid.

“No,” McCree saidcarefully.

“No?” Hanzo repeated, andthere it was. That signature Hanzo Rage that came out when he got a little angrierthan normal. He likely knew what McCree was up to and didn’t understand it, sothat pissed him off. “Then where would you be going with all of your belongings?”

McCree might as well be bluntabout it. “I’m leavin’, Hanzo. And I ain’t comin’ back.”

Hanzo was quiet for amoment, digesting this. When he spoke, his voice was curt and emotionless, theHanzo that McCree had first met who didn’t want to get attached to anybody andespecially not the cowboy.

“Why?”

“I got my reasons,”answered McCree, not wanting to get into this with him. Maybe with somebodyelse, but not with Hanzo.

Hanzo leveled him with aglare. “Which are?”

Jesse looked at Hanzo andsaw the distress gleaming behind the mask of anger. He deserved an explanation,but what did McCree say? That he couldn’t stay here anymore because just thesight of Hanzo made his stomach queasy? That the sight of Hanzo smile brightenedhis day, even when he was tired and sore after a long mission? That nothingmattered more to him than the evenings they spent together, drinking andtalking about nothing and everything or even just sitting in silence and appreciatingeach other’s company?

That Jesse was so fuckingin love with Hanzo that he was stupid with it?

No. McCree couldn’t sayany of that. Not when it might sour their friendship, even if McCree neverintended on seeing Hanzo ever again. He wanted Hanzo to remember him fondly, ifno other way. As friends.

Jesse wanted to throw up.

He picked the bestbullshit he could come up with, something Hanzo might believe. “Listen, Han, Iain’t one to work with groups—”

“Neither am I,” Hanzo interrupted.“Try again.”

Jesse huffed. “I hatesittin’ in one place all the time—”

“As do I,” Hanzo sneered,a bit triumphant. “I can do this all morning, Jesse.”

“Fine. I got one you ain’t gonna measure up to.” And McCree made hisbiggest mistake: stalking closer to Hanzo, as if proximity might help him gethis point across. “Overwatch ain’t justice. It’s never been justice. Yeah, maybe it started out like that in the beginnin’,but that wasn’t what it ended up bein’. It was all money and politics, and thefuckin’ victims ended up comin’ second.”

“Overwatch is different now,is it not?” Hanzo pointed out, a little quieter than before. He was staring atMcCree’s face with something akin to fear, as if he’d just realized that McCreewas serious about leaving. As if he’d just realized he might never see McCree again, so he had to soak inall of him while he had the chance.

Or maybe that was justwishful thinking on McCree’s part. Probably. He just couldn’t see a scenariothat ended happily for him. In every daydream he’d ever concocted where he toldHanzo the truth, he always ended up being called a fool because who could ever love a man like him? Hanzoprobably didn’t even like men, and ifhe did? McCree was probably at the bottom of his list.

“Yeah, it’s different now, but I know how this’ll go. We won’twe workin’ under the radar for long before somebody catches us, and then they’lleither take us down or build us back up. And if it’s the second one, then Overwatchshould ‘a just stayed dead. We’ll end up bein’ all about money and politics again, and that ain’t justice. Not to me.”Jesse paused to catch his breath. Some of that might actually have been true,which was good for him. Hanzo might earnestly believe it if there was an air ofreality to it.

“So the way I see it, I gota choice to make: do I stick around and see what’ll become of us the secondtime around or do I go out on my own again and make my own kind o’ justice?”

Hanzo’s eyes were dark andstormy, like that quiet moment of intensity before he unleashed hisdragonstrike. McCree held his gaze as he waited for Hanzo buy his bullshit andlet him go, and he tried not to think about how much he would miss this assholearcher. Already, he felt the hole of yearning expanding in his chest, and he wonderedwhat would happen first—if he would get over his feeling for Hanzo or beswallowed by them.

At last, Hanzo reached hisdecision with a quiet huff and a tilt of his chin. McCree didn’t have long tofigure out what he was so frustrated about before Hanzo’s hands were curledinto his serape.

“You have one more choice,”he growled and then pulled McCree in.

His hat fell to the ground,but he didn’t care. His serape was strangling him, but he didn’t care. All hecared about was the hard press of Hanzo’s mouth against his, kissing him withsuch determination that McCree was too stunned to even react. By the time he realized he should do something—at leastkiss the man back, dammit, how long have you been dreaming about this? —Hanzopulled away again, breathless and overcome with emotion.

“Choose me,” Hanzo encouraged, his voice rough and inviting. ”Stay.See this through. And if you do not like the direction the reformed Overwatchis headed, then we will leave together.”

“Together,” Jesse repeated,dumbfounded.

“If you will have me, thatis. I do not wish to presume….” Hanzo’s eyes shifted downward, momentarilyplagued with doubt, and McCree reached up to brush his fingertips along Hanzo’scheek.

“Darlin’,” he said, stillstunned but determined to work through this before Hanzo got the wrong idea. “I’lltake anythin’ you’re willin’ to give me.”

Hanzo looked back up athim, relief etched on his face. “Then we are in agreement? You will stay?”

 Jesse thought about all ofhis fake reasons for leaving and the one realreason, whose hands were still tangled in his serape as if to keep himleaving by sheer force. He supposed he really couldn’t leave now, could he? Still, he should probablydraw this out a little bit more, not give away his real motives just yet.

“I dunno,” McCree said,turning away a bit only to be jerked back by Hanzo. “I might be in need of alittle more convincin’.”

And Hanzo’s eyes narrowedknowingly, his lips curling up in a smirk. He began to lean in again, slower nowthat the urgency was gone. “As much as it will take.”

“That’s good,” he mumbledagainst Hanzo’s lips, much more prepared this time. “Cause I’ll need convincin’for a long time.”

[meltypes-blog]

sakura seeds

[because the shared post looks weird as hell on desktop im putting the story in text post format] ao3 link

Hanzo Shimada hated himself.

That much was obvious.

He hated himself as he trained, the muscles on his arms and back straining until they cascaded tears of sweat, until his entire body burned and ached for rest. He hated himself while he ate, the simple pleasure of sweet and savory foods on his tongue only serving as a reminder of one other thing he had deprived his own kin from. He hated himself while he mediated, as if he could fool his brain into thinking that peace and quiet could erase the tumult in his mind and smooth over the jagged errors of his past.

His self hatred was apparent even on his countenance, his “RBF” as Genji had called it. Hanzo’s disgust for himself was soul deep, a seed that had planted itself in his heart since the first day his father had instructed him to murder in cold blood (“the master of the clan must protect the clan”) and had dug its claws deep the minute his blade had grazed Genji’s skin. His entire life was a culmination of all the wrong choices one could make, and it turned him into a bitter being, one that only survived out of the reasoning that even death was too honorable for him at that point.

His existence was unforgivable.

“You know I forgive you, Hanzo.” The brothers were seated on one of the many outlooks at the watchpoint staring at the sky, the sunset reflecting off of the younger, and irritating the older.

Hanzo only hummed in response. They were supposed to be meditating in silence, as per Hanzo’s request.

“I know why you come here.”

Hanzo exhaled through his nose and opened his eyes to glance at his brother. “To meditate, Genji. Shizukani.”

“No.” Genji turned to face him. “You come here in order to make yourself feel guilty. I know you, brother. You used to do it to me all the time when I went to the arcade. You would stare at me until I felt shame.”

Hanzo’s fists clenched on his knees. “How could you possibly know what I am doing or thinking? I have changed.”

“I know, because I am doing it as well,” Genji said softly. “Back then- I could have been more compliant, I could have helped you but I did not. I was young and stupid, and did not realize the gravity of my decisions, but I understand now. My actions were dishonorable. It was shameful of me-“

Hanzo stood up and turned on his brother, furious. “Do not. Speak to me of dishonor and shame.”

He walked a short distance then glanced back at his brother.

“Not until you have killed me for yourself.”

Later that evening, Hanzo messaged Genji that should he need to meditate, Zenyatta would most likely be available.

That had been the end of the their sessions.

He had been a fool to believe his brother could reconcile with him.

Genji still visited him, as Hanzo holed himself up in his room instead of socializing with the rest of the team- but that only ended in loud arguments.

“It has been weeks, Hanzo,” Genji stated exasperated, outside of his door. “How are they to know you if you do not allow them?”

“I am fine by myself,” Hanzo said.

“This is not healthy, Hanzo.”

Hanzo sighed. “I am perfectly healthy Genji.”

Genji threw his hands out. “You look like shit! You’re depressed and-“

Hanzo bristled, hand already reaching for his door. “Thank you for your concern, brother. Good bye.”

“Hanzo-!”

The door slid shut on the cyborgs face and Hanzo inhaled, exhaled, inhaled once more and breathed out.

Not healthy? Hanzo looked about his room. Healthy people had clean rooms, and his was pristine.

His closet held his various kyudo-gis, color coded. Organized. His small kitchenette held a shining kettle, small teacups and no dirty dishes. Clean. His bed was always made, not a pillow out of place, his furniture never covered in clothes and out of the way as always, orderly. His room looked brand-new, completely spartan. Nothing was worn down. Nothing was old or used or broken. It was clean. Healthy. It was as if no one had ever stepped foot in it before. As if no one lived in it at all.

Despite Hanzo’s fervor to abstain from socializing, that did not stop the others from coming up to him. Hanzo was out of his room to fill up his water container in the main kitchen, when one of the younger members had come up to him. They popped their gum in the awkward silence until-

“So...what’s your deal?”

Hanzo glanced at her confusedly, then turned back to his jug. If he remained silent, it was sure to deter her.

“Like- me and Lucio wanted to know since you’re like the base cryptid. We never see you until team simulations, and even then you’re only on defense so...you’re actually really good with a bow and arrow. Hey, can I call you Legolas?”

“What?” Hanzo blurted.

She smiled. “Y’know, that old fantasy series, he’s a meme because of those short guys and elf eyes and stuff.”

Hanzo felt himself soften. She was very similar to a younger man he once knew, one with green hair and bright eyes. “I believe they’re called Hobbits.”

“Hah! So you are a nerd! Lucio didn’t think so, but you look like someone who plays Pokémon. Actually, now that I think about it, you’ve got the whole samurai vibe going on too. Have you ever used a sword before?”

Hanzo mumbled no, then hastily escaped with a half empty jug.

Hana stood in the kitchen alone, a frown etched on her face.

The only other person that Hanzo conversed with aside from Genji was Dr. Zeigler- although, even then, that was less than desirable. He grabbed his sleeping pills and sighed when he realized the bottle was empty. Genji had annoyingly told the doctor not to give him more than a few days prescriptions at a time- not to deny that Hanzo had never thought of going out that way, but considering the fact that he was surrounded by those who risked their lives on the daily, it was extremely dishonorable.

Hanzo entered her office and she gave a strained smile, and he nodded in kind- the routine.

“Shimada-san, how can I help you?”

“I require another prescription, if you will,” he said placing the canister on her desk, making sure not to touch her. The first time she flinched when their hands touched had hurt him more than he was willing to admit.

“Of course.” She turned to grab a new prescription, placed it on the desk- but held and didn’t let go. “You know...Genji is concerned about you.”

Hanzo grunted in response, refusing to look at her.

“He says that you’re not...coping very well. From what he describes, it sounds as if you have depression, PTSD, perhaps even social anxiety-“

“Thank you, Doctor Zeigler, for the free consultation,” he interrupted coldly, looking at her with narrowed eyes. “But I am perfectly fine and would like to take my leave.”

Another strained smile, and she released the bottle. “Do come again, Shimada-san.”

And thus was Hanzo’s routine for months. The self-loathing, arguing with Genji, awkward and often tense food and water runs, picking up pills from the doctor. It went on for two months until-

“Howdy there.”

The cowboy had found Hanzo on his perch on the skywalk. He had come there to drink in peace after his fifteenth quarrel with Genji in two months.

Hanzo hummed.

McCree took a seat next to him and brought out his own flask. They drank in silence, the night air cold on Hanzo’s exposed skin. He was far too inebriated to be bothered by the gunslingers presence, and found himself actually drawn to his warmth.

Hanzo respected the American, despite his bluntness and overall...loud demeanor. He was a good shot, perhaps one to rival Hanzo, and he was tactically intelligent. More than once had the cowboy saved the team from dying due to his quick thinking and precise aiming.

More-so, he never approached Hanzo unwanted. He seemed to recognize when Hanzo was welcoming of a short conversation and when he was on the verge of seething rage.

An intelligent man. Warm. Hanzo subconsciously leant towards him, the alcohol getting the better of him.

“D’yknow the Deadlock gang?”

Hanzo grunted. “I am a former yakuza. What do you think?”

McCree chuckled. “Alright, alright. I may not look like it, but- I was their best asset. They used to call me,’The Undertaker.’”

“That does not surprise me. You are greatly skilled and smart.”

“O-oh. Well...” McCree coughed. “Anyways...I used to be real close to one of the members- his name was Jackie. J and J they used to call us, cause we were practically inseparable. Jackie was like my brother. I loved him.”

Hanzo turned to face McCree, slowly gaining an idea of where this was going. The gunslinger was looking down, fingers fiddling with his flask.

“Then I...I had to kill him. Turns out he was sellin’ information to Overwatch. Or maybe he was undercover. I don’t really remember. All I remember...”

McCree swallowed and he looked to Hanzo. “I remember feelin’ angry. Angry and sad and just- destroyed. And after he was gone all there was- there was nothing. I...felt empty.”

Hanzo’s heart seized. McCree looked away, pained.

“I kept askin’ myself, ‘how are you goin’ to go on now?’ I thought I was gone, gonna be empty forever. Then Overwatch found me and I decided that maybe I deserved a second chance. People believed in me. They saw me and saw hope.”

“Hope?” Hanzo murmured.

“Yeah,” McCree said, turning back to look Hanzo in the eye. “Hope that maybe even after a lifetime of all the wrong choices, one right choice can set you on the good path.”

Hanzo stared at him breathless. McCree’s eyes glinted in the moonlight, and then he noticed how close they were- their shoulders and thighs touching. Hanzo leant back, still transfixed on his bright eyes.

“Hope,” he repeated.

McCree nodded. He looked up at the stars and breathed deeply. “Come train with me tomorrow, archer. Ya won’t regret it.”

There started the deviation in Hanzo’s routine. For five mornings a week, the archer and sharpshooter trained together. They conversed about little things, favorite foods and drinks, then playfully argued when one named something that was distasteful to the other.

Hanzo’s self deprecating thoughts began to move away to make room for newer thoughts- one involving a tall man, red and flannel, bright brown eyes and a crooked smile.

Hanzo’s first real smile came during an intense training session. Both men were sweating profusely, challenging each other to see who could lift more. Of course, Hanzo prevailed- and Jesse cracked a joke at his own expense.

“Damn,” he breathed. “I’m pretty sure you could arm wrestle with Orisa and win with those beasts. Me? Can’t even lift Torb a couple of inches off the ground.”

His first real laugh had shown up during a team lunch. Hanzo had taken a seat by McCree and Genji, as he usually did, and said his thanks for the meal. Jesse pointed curiously at his food.

“‘S That wasabi?”

“Yes, it is.”

McCree snorted. “Weak shit. My hot sauce does more damage than that.”

“Is that so?” Hanzo raised a brow and gestured to his plate. “Why don’t you try some. You just need a small portion to see-“

“Don’t mind if I do,” McCree interrupted, spooning the entire portion into his mouth to Hanzo’s horror.

Genji winced from across the table and got up to get a glass of water. When he came back, he saw McCree red in the face, coughing, and Hanzo doubled over in laughter. The entire room laughed softly at the ridiculousness of the situation, and Genji felt a surge of happiness.

The first time Hanzo held hands with McCree was in their usual drinking spot on the skywalk. McCree had been blathering on about some old western movie when Hanzo moved his hand to cover the gunslingers.

McCree stopped talking immediately and looked down at their hands. Hanzo felt a surge of shame and slowly drew his hand away.

“I did not mean to-“

McCree gripped his hand before it could go any further, and gave him a bright smile.

“It ain’t no thing, darlin’.”

It was also the first time McCree had called him that.

Hanzo had opened up more. He did not feel so alone after meeting Jesse, no longer so isolated.

He began meditating with Genji again.

“You seem well, brother.”

Hanzo smiled softly. “Yes, I am.”

“It is because of McCree, is it not?”

“Partially,” he said. “I have come to realize that...one right choice can set me on the path of good. People believe in me. It would be a great dishonor to prove them wrong.” Genji lunged at him, hugging him close, and Hanzo was proud that he was able to hold in most of his tears.

Hana attacked him in the rec room a while later. “Yo, Samurai Legolas!”

He grunted not looking up, engrossed in an article written by Joel Morricone. “Do not bother me, Usagi. I am busy.”

It was quiet for a moment. Then-

“Did you just- what did you call me?”

“Usagi. It is the name of a popular anime heroine and also means rabbit. It is my nickname for you, since you seem adamant about mine. Trust me when I say it is an honorable one. Usagi was a powerful warrior, and also the cutest.” When he did not get a response, he looked up.

Hana was staring at him with wet eyes, and a huge smile. “I want to change mine for you.”

Hana now called him Big Bro every chance she got. When Hanzo turned in his sleeping pills, Doctor Zeigler looked at him in surprise.

“Are you sure, Shimada-san? You’re-“

“Perfectly healthy, Doctor Zeigler. And please, call me Hanzo.” He turned away from her, ears growing heated. “I have not needed them for...a while now.”

Angela’s eyes widened. “Oh! Oh, well,” she giggled,” alright then, Hanzo. Do come back again.”

“You believed in me.”

He and McCree were standing together in Hanzo’s room soaked, the rain pushing them from their usual spot.

McCree looked at him, and Hanzo’s heart stuttered. “I did. I used to be like you, back when I first joined so I understood. I still believe in you.”

Hanzo tentatively walked closer to him. “You had hope for me.”

McCree visibly swallowed and took his hat off, running his hand through his hair. “Yes. I still hope yo- still have hope for you, that is.”

Hanzo took a couple of more steps. “Why?”

McCree looked away. “I know a lost soul when I see one, s’all. Everyone deserves a second chance at redemption.”

They were nearly chest to chest now, and Hanzo had to strain his neck to look into his eyes. “You gave me hope. You have helped me to be better, and I...thank you, Jesse.”

Hanzo rested his head on McCree’s chest and Jesse’s arms came around him almost immediately, engulfing him in warmth despite their wet clothes. Jesse rested his chin on the archer’s head, and Hanzo nuzzled into his chest, face flaming and heart pounding.

“It ain’t no thing darlin’.”

Finally, after months of dancing, tripping and falling, McCree held Hanzo’s hands in his and grinned shyly.

“I really like you, darlin.’ Hope ya don’t mind that.”

Hanzo laughed and pulled McCree towards him. “I would hope that you do cowboy, considering we share the same bed.”

“I reckon people who like each other ought to kiss then, right?”

Hanzo’s face warmed and he leant up into Jesse’s space. “I believe that is how they express that, yes.”

McCree smiled and pressed his lips onto Hanzo’s, soft and sweet, the pull slow and languid. Hanzo nibbled on his lip and the kiss deepened, Jesse’s hands moving to bring Hanzo’s hips closer to his.

They separated to catch their breath and Jesse moved to Hanzo’s jaw.

“Ya know any other way people express how much they like each other, darlin’?”

Hanzo gasped a laugh, and gripped McCree’s shoulders as he kissed his neck.

“I am aware of a few, yes.”

McCree chuckled and nosed at Hanzo’s cheek. “Only a few? I got some evidence on my back that states otherwise.”

“Are you looking for more?” Hanzo smirked.

Jesse shivered and put his head on Hanzo’s shoulder. “What is it that ya always say? ‘The wolf marks his prey?’”

Hanzo flushed and smacked his shoulder. “Do not tease me, Jesse.”

McCree laughed, smiled at him, then gripped Hanzo’s hands, dragging him to their room.

Later, when both men were sated, they laid wrapped around each other, kissing lazily.

“Jesse,” Hanzo whispered, kissing under his ear.

“Yea, darlin’?”

“I love you.”

McCree shifted, laying on his side, Hanzo tucked into his chest. He leant his head on his elbow and dragged a hand down his lovers body. Hanzo shivered.

“It ain’t no thing, darlin’.” Hanzo let out a noise of protest, smacking his chest indignantly, and McCree laughed, wrapping his arms around him. He kissed his face repeatedly until Hanzo’s mouth met his, moving with intent, slow and hot.

“I love you too, Hanzo.”

Hanzo Shimada hated himself. Not as much as he used to, but the self doubt still lingered, the hatred a shriveled seed still present in his heart.

However, when he was with Jesse McCree, Hanzo hated himself just a little less- and a new seed blossomed in his heart, one he believed in and one he had hoped for all his life.

[slutty-mcree]

!!!! @shoeswithoutsocks

listen, buddy, thank you so much for this request omg.

I really hope you don't mind my song choice! Ring of fire absolutely screams Jesse Mcree and i love it so much, but the song  ‘big bad handsome man’ by Imelda May was introduced into my life a few weeks ago, and I haven't been able to stop associating it with Mchanzo since hearing it adsk. You've handed me a golden opportunity i cant pass up. (Seriously if you haven't heard that song please listen and tell me it doesn’t absolutely fucking  radiate Mcree energy...)

Anyways! I hope you enjoy <3

—

“You are telling me you can sing..? Seems...unlikely.”

Hanzo could remember just how offended Mcree had looked when he said that; hand clutched over his heart, mouth slightly agape as though someone had suddenly struck him.

“Darlin..sweetheart...my huckleberry pie..you sayin’ you don’t think I got talent?”

“Obviously I believe you have talent, Mcree. Overwatch would not have recruited you otherwise. I am just unsure as to how much of that talent is...musical.”

In hindsight, Hanzo supposed he should have known better. Jesse Mcree, by nature, was never one to withdraw from a challenge. It was proven time and time again—whether it was showcasing a dauntless, unnecessary act on the field or following through on an unsuspecting fool who was not expecting to be taken up on their dare. The cowboy was, without a doubt, the very definition of ostentatious--and evidently, Hanzo’s comment made him feel like he needed to prove something.

Hanzo Shimada had provoked the southern, gun-slinging bear and now he was now going to pay the price for it.

“I cannot believe you helped orchestrate such a ridiculous charade.” The archer scoffs with a tinge of annoyance coloring his tone. He eyes over the homemade flyer in his hand; decorated in obscenely glittery drawings of music notes and tiny cartoon versions of cowboy hats. Big, bold letters spelled out ‘karaoke night: featuring the musical talents of Jesse Mcree’, and Hanzo glances from the piece of paper to the Korean woman in front of him warily.

“Don’t look at me like that, Han! Lucio made the flyers and did the audio set up stuff, all I did was set up the chairs.”  Hana defends herself, though the mirthful smile that’s present indicates that wasn’t completely true. “Besides, karaoke is awesome! Look you have a front-row seat and everything!” She gestures to a folding chair that sat front and center to the boxing ring in the training area watchpoint offered (which was now made out to be like some kind of stage.)There were a few more rows of chairs just like it, though that one in particular quite literally had his name written on it. In messy, sparkly blue lettering...

A long, albeit dramatic sigh rolls from Hanzo's chest as he takes a seat, arms firmly crossed. He can practically sense the Meka pilots ever widening  smile from beside him, and he vaguely hears her utter something along the lines of ‘mission dragon strike is a go!’ before running off somewhere.

It isn’t long before other agents trickle in, among the small crowd being Genji himself. His brother takes a seat next to him, and Hanzo attempts to probe for any type of information he can about what’s to be expected out of this aside from the obvious. Though, much to his chagrin,  Genji offers nothing; the other man just sits there and has the audacity to shush Hanzo all while somehow being able to radiate utter smugness behind his impassive faceplate.

The archer narrows his eyes in return, a quiet huff leaving him as he turns his attention back to the stage with a glower etched on his face. It felt as though everyone was aware of something he wasn’t, which caused an infuriating mixture of concern and panic to flutter in the lower part of his stomach. One would hope his words days prior wouldn't of offended Jesse to the point he was willing to organize an entire ordeal just to embarrass himself or his own lover.

Then again… this was Jesse “once went streaking through the streets during a category five storm because someone told him he wouldn’t do it” Mcree.

Hanzo shrinks at the onslaught of other ridiculous possibilities the cowboys could be subjecting him to tonight; Images of Jesse in nothing but underwear, howling out a song that’s far too high pitched for him is the first thing that comes to mind…

The man sighs, although before his concern could get the better of him the lights of the gym suddenly dim just as a tall silhouette makes its way on stage, causing the soft chatter of the crowd to dwindle into silence. Hanzo makes another huff when forced to squint in the lack of lighting, unable to make out a familiar hat but not much else. A moment passes, then the lights above the makeshift stage suddenly alight brightly once again, illuminating the cowboy now occupying the space with a glow that could almost be called ethereal.

Hanzo blinks, and he finds himself swallowing against the sudden thickness that gathers at the back of his throat.

Mcree, void of his usual gear, is instead embellished in a form-fitting vest with a tasteful dress shirt underneath; which, in Hanzo opinion, was unfairly  left unbuttoned a few notches lower than probably necessary. Mcree then smiles, toothy and suave as he gives an experimental strum against the guitar strapped to his torso, dark eyes immediately meeting Hanzo’s own.

The archer fights back the urge to swallow again.

“Howdy, everybody~” The southerner greets in a way that’s somehow so damn provocative it elects a series of whistles and cheers from the crowd.  Honeyed laughter echoes through the standing mic, grin never forsaking him. “I’d like to thank everyone for comin’. Got a real special song for a real special person tonight.”

Mcree winks in his lover's direction, and suddenly Hanzo is aware of a dozen cheeky gazes and smiles on him from every damn direction. Despite being able to remain relatively straight-faced, heat burns the tips of the archer's ears.

Much to his own displeasure.

Mcree grins a little wider, before counting down from three. A pre-recorded tune of saxophone and base notes then begin to play from a pair of speakers from behind him, and along with it Mcree begins steady beat with his guitar; the symphony creates a type of rhythm that immediately reminds Hanzo of the old American style songs from the 1950’s his father would occasionally listen to. It's amazing, really; Mcree’s fingers strum against the strings of his guitar with such fluid ease it renders Hanzo shocked at first. Though really what is more surprising than the skillful use of the instrument is the actual sound of Mcree’s voice.

‘The man is tall, mad, mean, and good-lookin', And he's got me his eye. When he looks at me, I go weak at the knees, He's got me going like no other guy. Cause he's my big, bad, handsome man, He's got me in the palm of his hand. He's the Devil Divine, I'm so glad that he's mine, Cause he's my big, bad, handsome man~”

It held a gruff yet ever seductive timbre that resonated Hanzo through his core and sent small bumps prickling the surface of his skin. His jaw drops ever slightly, though he’s only made aware when the icy, metallic touch of Genji's hand pushes his chin up to forcibly close the gap.

“May I get you a something to drink, brother? You are looking extremely thirsty.” The cyborg snickers from beside him. Red rises over ivory skin, and Hanzo turns his head to with a look sharp enough to cut the man in half where he sits--though it’s not a half second later before his attention is brought back to the stage.

‘With his rugged good looks yeah he's got me hooked

Got me where he wants me to be

With his arms so wide, he pulls me in by his side

He's the kind of guy that does it for me’

Cause he's my big bad handsome man yeah

He's got me in the palm of his hand

He's the devil divine, I'm so glad that he's mine

Cause he's my big bad handsome man

Ooh

My big bad handsome man, yea

He's got me in the palm of his hand

He's the devil divine, I'm so glad that he's mine

Cause he's my big bad handsome man

Mcree is staring at him with a wide, far too charming smile as he finishes up the rest of the song. It ends with a long, soulful hum—and the group of ten to fifteen sounds more like a crowd of hundreds with amount of clapping and cheering that goes on. He chuckles, bowing with a polite tip of his hat and signature “thank you kindly” before he exits the stage to allow those next in line (Reinhardt) to showcase their talents. As the boisterous German takes center stage, Hanzo manages to shake away the astonished look of his face and swiftly disperses to the water fountain in the far corner he watched Mcree strut off too.

“I must say that...was impressive,” Hanzo compliments as he approaches. He eyes Mcree as he smiles and leans away from the water fountain to wipe the thin layer of sweat across his forehead with the back of his hand. “Why thank you, darlin.’ Mighty kind of you to say. Gotta admit it’s nice to know I can still surprise ya.” His smile curls into a coquettish smirk, as if being able to read Hanzo’s thoughts the entire duration of his performance. The archer was not always as impassive as he thought he was, that’s for certain.

“Mm…” a subtle smirk of its own tugs at the corner of Hanzo’s lips. He leans forward, adjusting Mcree’s slightly askew collar. “Indeed. Actually, I am so surprised I wanted to ask if you would care to favor me an encore.”

Mcree blinks, chuckling softly and scratching the back of his head. “Encore, eh? Why I don’t mind, but I take it Reinhardt is gonna be a while—“

“I am referring to an encore of a more private sort. In my quarters...” Hanzo interrupts.

“Oh? Oh…” The southern gunslinger grins, clearing his throat as he wraps a well-sculpted arm around his lover's shoulder. “Well sweetheart, I’m thinkin’ that can be arranged.”

[totallyfrandom]

It's just as I feared: they released the Torbjörn rework at the same time as the Halloween event. I still haven't tested playing him, only seen him being picked by allies during the Brawls and I can't comment much on how he plays when I have only played a few Brawl matches so far.

However, what's interesting is that Blizzard put two additional Heroes in both Junkenstein Brawls: Brigitte and Tracer. I can understand Brigitte, as she provides armor to her team (though only when she uses her Ult and that Ult gauge fills up too slowly). But Tracer is an interesting pick... I actually prefer a Tank, like Zarya or Orisa (ok maybe Orisa would be a bit unfair but it's also unfair that Dragon Symmetra uses her new Ult Photon Barrier to seal off half the map).

I did play a bit of Brigitte in Junkenstein Endless. She was alright, but I wasn't a fan of it; she's pretty much close combat and the occasional push with her flail. She was mostly effective with her healing, Shield Bash to temporarily stun enemies and push away enemies with her Whip Shot. I prefer Zenyatta any day.

EDIT: Tracer in Junkenstein is alright, but not ideal team-up if you want to complete Endless mode. Also apparently you can now pick all 6 Heroes instead of the four main Heroes in Junkenstein’s Revenge. That... kinda ruins the lore of the comic that it’s based on, where Reinhardt was telling a story about four Wanderers (The Soldier/Soldier: 76, The Gunslinger/McCree, The Alchemist/Ana & The Archer/Hanzo).

[searchpartydnd]

Final Session of Arc 1, Fate Touched

Session 10:

Inveni Domus, otherwise known as The Search Party, is a group of five skilled individuals who are dedicating their time to recovering the Novus Designs. These ancient artifacts were some of the first magical items ever created, only ever brought together once in recorded history by the circle of eight, the founding fathers of modern magic (ie Bigby, Volo, Modenkainen, Otiluke, etc.). Their main goal is to ultimately stop Lady Cecilia, a powerful entity who claims she is a god, from obtaining any of the designs to use for her own unpleasant purposes. 

Current Party Members: 

Avaar Acosta - High Elf Arcane Archer

Calladyne - Half-Elf Glamour Bard

Dixillion Ramada - Human Revenant Champion Fighter

Val Ganderstim - Aasimar Warlock of the Raven Queen

Veir Torunn - Dwarven Gunslinger

Artifacts recovered: 2

Turmoil on the Tundra

It’s the dead of winter up in the icy plains that encircle the peaks of Lyrengorn. The party had just recovered Cepheus, the Shroud of Tears, The Second. The clasp, created by the pre-ascended Raven Queen, is now worn by Val, who has just fucked up.

Like, big time.

The party had been in Bigby’s tower, stumbling through weird gravity, hacking desperately at enormous mimics, and getting stomped on by powerful constructs in bath houses. They eventually reached Bigby’s study, recovering the item as well as the wizard’s personal journal. Reading through, they had found more information about other Novus Designs and one was mentioned to be a bow. 

Most party members immediately looked to Avaar, as she seemed a likely candidate to wield it. However, Avaar expressed her dislike to take on another magical item that was going to attract the attention of undesirables. 

Avaar, prior to meeting the party, had willingly put on armor owned by a man named Lucidious. She soon found out, however, that she could not remove the armor and that the wearer had to obey all of their master’s commands. Lucidious turned out to be a massive evil dick and turned Avaar’s life into a living nightmare, forcing her to do terrible things, making her work for evil organizations.

Lucidious was killed in an attack, leaving Avaar free of him, but not of the armor. She came to Tal’dorei and joined up with Inveni Domus, eventually revealing to her friends the curse she had to live with. In an fight with Hags, Avaar was left greatly injured and mentally scarred, going into a nightmarish coma. Later, after she awoke and helped the party fend of Queen Cecilia’s lackeys, the armor began to break and chip away, finally getting fully removed when the party realized the magic binding it to Aavar was no longer there.

After Avaar had understandably voiced her distaste to take on another magical item, Val, on an rather unkind impulse, had commented “Well, you did wear that armor for a while,” implying that the arcane archer had also attracted unwanted attention and terrible things in her time enslaved to Lucidious. 

Avaar just walked out. Dixie gave chase, while Calladyne followed more slowly. Val stayed behind to help Veir gather the items they needed before heading out into the Tundra. A blizzard was approaching on the horizon.

Calladyne reprimanded Val for the comment, pointing out how the 16-year-old had been rather unkind to the group and really needed to re-examine how she treated her friends.

Val, still desperate to apologize, ran off to find Dixie and Avaar. When she caught up, Avaar snapped at the Warlock.

“You don’t think I don’t know what I have done? I have to live with that guilt every day!” (I’m paraphrasing here) “Is this how you treat your friends? Grow up Val!”

The blizzard finally hit the party, making it hard to see. They discuss whether or not to take shelter in Bigby’s tower or make the trek back to Lyrengorn. They don’t get the chance to decide was a massive form dashed past, scooping up Val in the process.

Two Yetis, attracted by the very loud noises we were making, decided to pay us a visit. 

For the first half of the battle, Val was basically a football, getting thrown about and used as a bludgeoning weapon. 

They were able to defeat the Yetis due to a well timed Hypnotic Pattern by Calladyne. 

Licking their wounds, the party headed back for Lyrengorn, trading their winter cloths for garments more suited for tropical weather. Avaar and Dixie head off together to find out more information from the Archdruid of the main temple in the sanctuary while Veir, Calladyne, and Val head off on seperate business. 

Avaar and Dixie speak with the head ArchDruid, asking about the Winter Court in the Feywilde (of which they believe Calladyne was part of). Yura says it is a nasty topic, and that the queen is the nastiest topic of that court. The Archdruid describes her as cold and vicious, and that she is a dangerous entity to have as an enemy. Calladyne spends time at a shrine to the Archeart, a god that she once worshipped before she was taken into a Fey court. Unsure of her belief in gods, she asks for guidance of some kind. She feels nothing, but she later discovers a new line at the end of her newest song.

Val goes to inform the airship captain that they found what they were looking for, only to instead receive word that the archanist (Allura Vysoren) they were originally going to visit in Vasselheim had shown up in Whitestone. Lord and Lady De Rolo had informed her of the party’s activities and intent, causing the mage to contact the entire Arcana Pansophical and bring the matter to their attention. They are to leave in the morning and head directly for Vasselheim, instead of going to Emon and then charter a ship to the holy city.

Val goes to the hostel where they were staying to inform the group of this new change, but finds only Calladyne (Performing Cherry Wine). After passing along the information, Val says she is going to sleep in the airship for the night, to get out of the party’s way. Calla says the party wouldn’t mind, but understands if Val was uncomfortable. Before Val leaves, Calladyne says she wants to talk later, when everyone’s heads are clearer.

Veir heads off into the city in search of something, but the party does not know what happens until later.

As night takes the sanctuary city, Calladyne performs for the people, garnering many new fans after another stunning performance (and raising her fame stat to 13). Avaar was also able to glean some more backstory about Veir’s past, learning that his drive was to prove the capability of firearms and, by extension, himself.

Calladyne and Avaar (they are an item) share an intimate moment that night and Avaar tells Calladyne that she’s been looking into the Feywilde so that she can help the bard if her past ever comes back. Calladyne sees the effort put in to helping her / saving her and breaks down, recognizing that she might actually be free from the Archfey and Her illusions. Calla tells her lover everything that happened to her while she was in the Feywilde in the court of a sadistic archfey. The full extent of these terrible events are secret for now, but who knows when they may come spilling out.

The party departed on the small De Rolo airship they had arrived in the next morning. For two weeks they traveled, and for two weeks, there were some shenanigans and conversations to be had.

Apparently, on his short trip around the city, Veir had acquired magical eye gear that allowed him to read multiple languages. He needed them in order to properly read Bigby’s journal, which was written in several different languages.

Avaar wasn’t ready to deal with it.

He also made a kite for some reason.

It wasn’t very well crafted.

Calladyne was able to finally pull Val aside for their talk, mentioning a certain incident that had occurred in Whitestone.

Long story short, emotions were running high when baby Vax was taken, so when the council member who had betrayed the royal family refused to answer any questions regarding the organization she worked for, Val had gotten…trigger happy.

After another refusal to comply, even though the warlock was threatening to kill the woman and use her pact of the tome ability that allowed the questioning of a soul, Val shot off eldritch blasts into the Myriad member’s chest, killing the bound captive. She asked her question and through the fast action of Calladyne, the present party members were able to revivify the woman.

Val had never killed someone is cold blood before. She hadn’t even considered it until Calladyne had pointed it out. Additionally, Calladyne mentioned similar things happening to her (being killed and revived) on multiple occasions, though she doesn’t specify further. This led to some very troubled thoughts and inner turmoil for the young Aasimar.

“I’m afraid of snakes.” Those were the first words Avaar addressed Val with since their confrontation outside of Bigby’s tower.

“When my siblings and I would fight, we’d make up by telling each other a secret about ourselves,” Avaar explained.

Val admitted she didn’t like dressing like a goth, which she had been doing since she was twelve. She preferred her current Valkyrie look over the dark aesthetic she had thought all Raven Queen took up.

Later, as the airship neared Vasselheim, Calla and Avaar shared a talk about fate. Avaar refuses to believe in it, not trusting her life in the hands of a god, preferring that her past was controlled solely by her own actions. Calla confessed that she believed the opposite, that they were destined to be on this path. She told Avaar she’d rather die a martyr than live as a survivor.

Vasselheim in view now, the party finds that the artifacts they currently have react in the presence of one another, becoming more active and magically charged. Dixie’s hand has also begun to glow, shining brighter and brighter the closer the party neared the city.

Landing just outside the city, Val is practically jumping for joy, excited to finally officially commune with her patron and show her friends around the city she was trained in not too long ago.

Dixie and Calla head off to the Platinum Sanctuary first, the scale on Dixie’s hand shining brighter as they approached Bahamut’s center of worship.

Dixie met the dragon god who resurrected her, confused and conservative about her true feelings towards her current relationship with the god of justice. 

Mad props to our DM @its-okay-to-yowz​ because he made one hell of a scary dragon god when he began screaming “DON’T LIE TO ME DIXILLION!”

Through a bit more prodding, The Platinum Dragon was able to get his revenant to embrace her desire for vengeance. They rounded out their conversation almost like coach psyching up their player for a game.

Dixie is now a Champion Fighter with one level in Paladin.

Veir ventured off to go gather supplies while Avaar was dragged along by Val to the Duskmeadow. 

Upon approaching the steps, the doors are opened for the pair and Val’s raven flies off, leading them to the pool of blood deep in the temple. Val won’t shut up, voicing her previous frustration that the priests wouldn’t let her into the communion room before. Avaar is visibly nervous about the whole process, despite Val’s assurances that everything is going to be fine.

Shedding some clothing, Val tells Avaar that things might get wonky with time and she may be going for a while before practically swan diving into the pool of icy blood.

Val still has to come to very cusp of death in order to see her patron, so it takes her a moment to work up the will to actively drown herself. Avaar watches as the surface where Val disappeared gets violently disturbed after a minute, showing obvious signs of someone drowning, but she holds herself back as the blood eventually stills. No body floats to the top.

Val finds herself in the same dark space she usually sees in her dreams, her Raven on the floor in front of her. Normally, it would either speak as her Patron or become her Patron, but this time it transforms into a man. It’s Vax.

He beckons the warlock and she follows excitedly, heading into the blackness, seemingly going nowhere.

Eventually, the ground becomes smooth obsidian granite and a doorway appears. Vax turns to Val.

“No matter what happens, you should know that she is so proud of you.” He presses a simple black bracelet of woven thread into her hand before Val steps inside. 

Val enters the Raven Queen’s throne room, a chamber made of shifting shadows. The Goddess herself is in her smaller form, appearing more humanoid as she welcomes Val. 

(The order as to what was said here is a bit wonky, but the details are there.)

The Matron of Ravens tells Val that she is glad to finally speak with her, noting how Val is wearing her clasp, and that she and the other gods have seen something on the horizon that they can’t make out. The strings of fate have blurred. She explains that in her desperation to find a candidate to enforce her hand in the conflict to come, she chose the young Aasimar, much to young at the time to be burdened with such a task. She apologized to Val for how things were, but Val just replied “I’m used to it. This is what I want to do. I chose to follow you on my own, it was my decision to make.” 

The Raven Queen removed her mask at that point, revealing her true face to a now crying Val. She whispered her name to her warlock, locking the secret into the back of the teenager’s mind. Val knows the name, it’s within her, but she doesn’t actually have to means to recall it or speak it. She just carries with her the knowledge that she knows the name.

Val finds out from her Goddess that there were five fate touched that the Gods were scrambling to get a hold of, Val among them. It is implied that the others are the members of Inveni Domus.

Val apologized for not upholding the values she was supposed to embody in Whitestone, to which the Raven Queen agrees that it was a most undesirable action that should never occur again. 

The Raven Queen warns again that there are dark times ahead, that she is fearful of not being able to see where the threads are leading. Val tells her that she’ll shine some light on the matter. RQ tells Val to go get ‘em (or something the writer will be editing this later) to which Val says “You know I will.” 

Feathers.

Cut to six hours later. Avaar has been worried sick, curing fate and the Raven Queen, afraid for the youngest party member. Val bursts out of the pool, yelling for Avaar. Helping the teen out of the pool, Avaar asks what happened. Val tells her all about the meeting (leaving out certain, more private bits), trying to dispel Avaar’s worry.

Avaar, however, is not convinced, still apprehensive to trust a God who chose a 16-year-old to be her champion. Val tells her that she doesn’t think she is her goddess’s champion, that the man she met in the meeting was the holder of that title.

Avaar asked what happened to him. Val’s response was not comforting. (bottom right corner doodle in previous picture.

So we close, zooming out from the five fate touched as they attend to their various activities. 

A Fate Forged in Iron (Veir)

A Fate of Vengeance (Dixie)

A Fate Embraced (Calladyne)

A Fate Looking Ahead  (Val)

A Fate Redeemed (Avaar) 

 author’s note :The crazy thing is, we all developed our backstories and characters separately, having no knowledge of what anyone was planning. @its-okay-to-yowz wanted us to all be fate touched from the very start, even before we created characters, as we had all been brought together by chance at GenCon and through a couple of chance meetings and well timed inquiries. 

He created a Novas Design made by the Raven Queen even he knew that Val was going to be a Warlock of hers. Our character colors all match up. Tony was able to take elements of our backstories and weave them together. Calla and Avaar both went through similar stories of trauma and abuse, bonding over their shared struggles. It was meant to be the whole time, and we had no idea. Tony just sat back and watched us flounder about and struggle to grasp how perfect our stories were and how well everything fit together.

Thus the first arc as named Fate Touched.

[critrolesketch]

Right Kiddies, the De Rolo interaction continued

Here is the thing real quick about the people in the party going forward

Val was kidnapped at 7 and has a scar in her hand where the kidnapper stabbed it when she got annoying. She and her 3 Aasimar Brothers were also targeted when she was 12 by three necromancers. She made a pact with the Raven Queen in that moment to stall them long enough for help to arrive. Now Val is on a mission to serve her patron, become a hero, and return to teach her brothers to do the same. Except she is 16 and is in way over her head and has a lot of growing left to do.

Calladyne is a half elf bard who looks fab and sings like Beyoncé, but spent her life in a bad Fey court and has just returned from the Feywild and it’s only been, like, 3 months since she was technically born. Gal is 20

Dixie is a revenant out to kill the dragon that killed her home and family.

Aavar was tricked into wearing cursed armor that had a good ac, but the dude who gave it to her could make her do whatever he wanted her to do (and he was a dick) and she couldn’t take it off. He died and we recently got her armor off , which was a big in game victory.

Veir really likes guns. He thinks Dwarves should use guns as their main form of weaponry. He is butt-hurt that Percy doesn’t agree.

The player who controls Dixie had to leave early, so we were without a tank who...actually can’t really die. It was bad.

We find out that multiple people took the baby. We track some footprints back into Whitestone and to a warehouse. I break our stealth with a nat 1 and try to remedy it by going in first. 4 Rogues with sneak attack = pincushion Val.

We fight them off and eventually tie up two and interrogate the gal behind the whole thing, who happens to be the lady we met at dinner on the council who is in charge of the business and economy in Whitestone. She is Myriad. They handed the baby off to cultists.

We head back out again after some...intense interrogations. Percy pulls our Gunslinger aside to interrogate the woman and he nearly pulls an No Mercy Percy, smoke and all. It’s just a test tho to see if Veir was a good person or something and Veir is left along to interrogate this gal. Something awoke inside that dude because hell man, we was not very kind to that woman.

Percy gives Veir Animus as a loaner so he can better kill the f-ers that took the youngest De Rolo.

We head out, find an old hideout at the end of the tracks we are following in the woods, and make it through the hallway of spinning blades and smashing pillars set up as a death trap. Fun thing about that was if we got to the end, a rune on the door caused a fear effect and you ran back into the death trap.

We find the cultist and her crew with the baby. It’s a tough battle. Calladyne our Bard goes down a lot, and Aavar our arcane archer ends up getting hit by a spell that makes her see her worst fear. It wasn’t pleasant. Eventually the cultist lady takes a knife to the baby’s throat and Val is freaking out. She doesn’t know how healthy this woman is or if she will kill the baby as soon as anyone attacks. She risks it and gets the HDYWTDT with eldritch blast.

I catch the baby, Veir finishes off the remaining foe, and we questions her and her companions using my Tome ability my class provides (I can ask the dead 1 question). They were gonna use the baby for fuel apparently. We find that they are cultists if the Chained Oblivion, and a letter on the lady says

“We found another in Whitestone. Have it delivered to the Whithered.” Signed Thola.

Both names are from Val’s backstory. Both were two of the three necromancers that attempted to kidnap her.

So I’m cradling baby Vax, who has snuggled into my shoulder, staring in shock at this letter.

We end by returning baby Vax to a very grateful mother and father.

NEXT SESSION!

We all meet the next morning to De Breif the De Rolos (that is legit the session title. My DM was pretty proud)

Val basically info dumps her backstory to convey how dangerous the people are who took baby Vax. She gets really upset during this too and Vex reaches out to put her hand in mine and Val lets her know that she will do everything in her power to protect Vax from the necromancers. She accepts Val’s vow but says that they’ve got it handled for now and gives me the classic Vex smirk.

Also, turns out Baby Vax just has black wings that appeared recently, so Val is now for sure certain the RQ blessed them with the child instead of any other God.

So the De Rolos decide to help and Percy gets really excited. Like super excited.

Also Aavar snoops around for info in the evil council members house after being told not to and took a bunch of papers. Don’t know if she kept them or left them for the De Rolos but she and the councilwoman had relations through the Myriad, as Aavar was forced to work with them.

The next morning we are awoken by Percy, who is practically vibrating with excitement. He has a speedy way for getting us to Lyrengorn.

He made himself an airship.

Dude let us take it out on its maiden voyage.

The ship is pretty small, but the cabin is bigger in the inside and is heated. Dude just...got everything he wanted.

So we sail off to Bigby’s tower! With the eldest De Rolo kid Shaun as our captain.

Speed round

We discover that Dixie is basically Deadpool after she fails with a Nat one to climb down a rope in Lyrengorn. She has, in canon, a Canadian accent, duel wields swords, and reassembles herself like something out of a horror movie, with shit just snapping into place.

We find the tower and it’s like...super Trippy. Each door leads to another room, every step takes you to a different place with different gravity, one door took us to a giant mimic in a giant glass container that imitated sand. That was fun.

Also the steam Gollum we faced did 65 max damage in a round to level 6 players. That was stressful.

We finally find the study and the artifact we came to recover called Cepheus, the shroud of tears.

Funny thing is though, our dm made these items before we even sent our characters in and I just so happened to be a Raven Queen fangirl. He tells us that the list of coincidences and parallel story beats we somehow miraculously stumbled upon in our party is absolutely mind boggling.

Here is the item made the THE RAVEN QUEEN HERSELF BEFORE SHE ASCENDED.

Val takes the item in her hand and immediately feels a rush of power. She channels the energy apprehensively into her focus and suddenty sees the Raven Queen’s face. “Put it on.”

Val: “Yep ok im putting it on”

Val’s wings extend 15 ft in either direction, a cape made of shadow extends out from the clasp, and her hair goes all Eris from Sinbad.

So I got wings all the time now y’all (but just for the aesthetics, I still can’t fly unless I use my racial feat or turn into a raven)

We read Bigby’s journal and other artifacts we are looking for get mentioned. One of them is a bow (great for Aavar) that was lost in Pandamonium. Aavar makes a comment “I’m not gonna go carrying around a magical weapon that I’m going to get hunted for.”

I surprised myself with a very out of line quip from Val “I mean, you wore that armor and everything was fine” (implying that no one hunted her for that particular powerful magical item)

Everyone reacts shocked and very disturbed by the comment. Aavar walks away, stunned at the comment.

Never had Val been so powerful yet felt so powerless.

I love this game. I can’t wait for more drama. We all have plans for how to deal with that bombshell and are practically vibrating like Percy. We ended after exiting the tower. Things are gonna be real interesting as we travel to Vassilhiem. I’m so excited you guys.

If this was enjoyable for you, go ahead and let me know in the comments and I’ll set up an official tumblr where we will keep you updated about our travels through Tal’dorei.

[fireflyquill]

Headcanon and jokes from @saoirsewolf! 

Last installment, I think. Thanks to @saoirsewolf for suggesting the idea <3 This was really fun!

Hanzo is a bit sad here, but his team’s on it. Thanks for reading!

Part One | Part Two

Two weeks went by, and Jesse was placing dead last. He had only managed to score a single point ("Even if you were chicken, which you're not, you'd be impeccable."). The gunslinger didn't seem concerned, however, and Hana and Genji knew better than to underestimate him. 

---

Hanzo wasn't that hard to read, not if you knew what to look for. The trio could read him all too clearly now after the bad mission in Hanamura: the way his shoulders were held stiff; the fragile, brittle self-loathing that emanated from his very skin, suggesting that he would implode under the whisper of a wrong word, and retreat to his room for hours, if not days; the way he wasn't able to meet anyone in the eye, particularly Genji. One misstep, and Hanzo would crumble. The trio exchanged looks of alarm as the archer walked into the kitchen, clearly distraught, but trying to hide it, likely for their benefit. 

Jesse frowned, brow knit with determination. "Another bonus point if I can get him outta this one." 

Hana and Genji nodded in unison, more concerned about bringing Hanzo back than about losing their game. 

Jesse secured the Stetson on his head, and stalked forward carefully, but with purpose. 

He stopped well within Hanzo's space by the sink, where Hanzo was about to make his tea, and lifted the archer's hands to his lips. Looking first for permission, he kissed the knuckles of each hand gently.

Hanzo huffed, but forced a smile. 

"Can I help you?" he asked, voice equal parts wry and defeated. 

Jesse didn't insult Hanzo by asking how he was. That much was clear enough to see, and Hanzo had a habit of dodging a proper answer to such questions anyhow. 

"I'm just glad to see you back, sweetheart," Jesse crooned happily. "While you were away, I was thinkin' I might take you to Santa Fe for Christmas." 

"Oh?" The strain in Hanzo's features lessened at the promise of a better tomorrow. "Tell me."

Jesse smiled encouragingly. "Take ya out to the farm. Show you how folk do things there. Show you the tractor."

"The tractor?" Hanzo blinked at him, confused by the sudden and very specific suggestion. 

"Why, sure," Jesse continued with an easy smile. "I figured you'd wanna see it." 

Hanzo continued to look bewildered. Hana and Genji looked much the same. 

"Seein' how the folk there like them so much. They're real—" 

Genji's mouth fell open as he figured out where this was going. This was a ridiculous, clumsy set up, which in all likelihood, was going to make it super effective. 

"—protractors."

There was a moment of intense silence, where not even a mote of dust dared moved in the entire room. 

Hanzo began to blink rapidly, his shoulders drawing up as he attempted to prevent the bodily response that was about to be torn from his control. It was too late. His eyes crinkled as they did so very rarely, and every last tension fell away from his frame as the laughter shook through him. 

"Math jokes," Genji muttered to Hana. "Of course the nerd would be weak against math jokes. Why didn't I see it earlier?" 

Hana patted him on the shoulder. Neither of them seemed genuinely upset. In fact, they were relieved. 

Jesse looked entirely proud of himself, but wasn't done yet. "It's so good to see your smile, sweetheart. We worry about you sometimes. Not a lot," he added seeing that Hanzo was sobering at the thought of it. "Just a li'l bit. Because we care."

"I realize," Hanzo confessed. He turned to look across the room at Hana and Genji. 

"I realize that I am not the easiest..." he faltered here, as the trauma of his previous mood came flooding back. Jesse lifted Hanzo's chin with his flesh hand, hoping that the sudden gesture would break the reverie. It worked. Hanzo shook his head with vigor, as though to dispel whatever it was he had been thinking. "Thank you," he said simply instead. "I—" 

Hanzo looked ready to offer some sort of reassurance about his well-being, but Jesse squeezed the other hand that he was holding, and gave him another gentle smile. 

"I know, I know, we've got nothing to worry about. I mean, after all, we shoulda known you'd be okay. Your love of geometry and all." 

The room fell silent again, feeling the wind up. 

"With geometry," Jesse explained with a devious grin. "Life's never pointless." 

Hanzo burst into laughter right away, almost doubling over so that Jesse had to catch him. He could barely breathe, and, as was to be expected, began to snort. Jesse looked at him with an awe that the moment did not seem to deserve. 

"GG!" Hana congratulated. "Four points. That's practically a one hit kill."

"I should have expected as much," Genji grumbled without any actual anger. "Come on, let's go before it gets gross." 

"Too late," Hana scrunched her nose. 

Hanzo had looked up finally to find Jesse beaming at him, full of affection. 

"I love making you laugh," Jesse confessed. 

"And I love you," Hanzo returned softly so that only Jesse could hear. He tipped his head upwards to steal a fierce kiss. 

Genji sighed as he and Hana snuck out of the kitchen to give them privacy. "Well, that outcome was to be expected." 

Hana hummed in agreement. "But it was still fun. Too  bad the game's over."

"Why must it be over?" Genji asked slowly, as the idea dawned on him as well. 

They exchanged a look. 

"First to ten?" Hana suggested. Genji shook his head. 

"Most laughs in one year?" She tried again. 

"Better," The ninja agreed. "With a clause to continue as needed." 

Hana grinned and extended a hand so they could shake on it. 

"He'll still win, you know," she pointed out. 

"I know," Genji admitted. "Which in itself is a great victory." 

Hana heard the waver in his voice. She slapped him hard on the shoulder. "Come on. Let me beat you at a different game instead."

The ninja snorted. "You can try!" 

They raced for the the common room together, confident in the knowledge that the win with Hanzo belonged to all of them.