#so participating has been kind of scary but i am proud i did it. that being said. i fucking hate fandom spaces so much i think

[topazadine]

personal vibes u can ignore

So I don't really discuss it much on here because no one cares but I've ... had a pretty intense life ngl. [TW for mentions of trauma I guess?]

I'm a CSA and childhood domestic abuse survivor, suffered from self-harm for a long time, had a psychotic episode at age 21, have been dealing with bipolar since age 15, attempted suicide six times, and don't remember half my life because of dissociative amnesia and C-PTSD.

There was a time when I didn't leave my house more than a handful of times for a whole year. I used to have such bad panic attacks that I would literally run out of classes. Sometimes I would wake myself up screaming.

But despite that, I really did achieve my lifelong dream: I became an author. I published 9 Years Yearning and have completed six manuscripts so far, including two 100k+ manuscripts.

A lot of the time, I just kind of move on from my achievements and don't really think much about them. I didn't attend either of my college graduations because I didn't care; the process was over and it was time to look for what was next. I've always been hungry for the next thing, or maybe it's due to low self-esteem.

I need to change that, though. I sell myself short quite a lot. Many people want to become authors, but most of them give up and fizzle out when they don't get immediate recognition, or they endlessly babble on about what they want to do instead of actually writing the damn thing. They come up with a million excuses and spend all their time dreaming up story ideas that they never put onto paper, and then they shit all over everyone who actually does it.

They're not willing to put themselves out there and be vulnerable, nor will they put in the hard work of writing, revising, formatting, getting a book cover, marketing, etc. It's scary to show people your heart in your work and to know that others won't appreciate the struggle, nor will they be kind because they have no reason to. That shit is tough. Not everyone can handle it.

My mom recently gave me a strange compliment that has been sticking with me a lot, and I think it might be the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. She said that she admires me because I keep going even though there may be no tangible reward for it: I have entirely intrinsic motivation.

I believe so strongly in my work that even though I know there may be no payoff whatsoever, I am still willing to put in the effort. There's no participation trophy, no guarantee that anyone will care; I'm not going to get an A+ in Writing from anyone now that I'm out of school.

This didn't even occur to me because I never imagined that other people didn't feel that way, that many need outside validation or they feel that their output isn't worth doing.

Maybe it's because I've been a ghostwriter for 8 years and an SEO writer for about 2 years, both of which are incredibly thankless occupations. I mean, someone literally puts their own byline on top of your own, and no one ever knows you wrote it.

I bust my ass all day finding statistics for the most random niche topics, and all it amounts to is a "Completed" note on an Excel spreadsheet and a confirmation that the client received it. (And money. That's the important thing.) That would probably demolish a lot of peoples' drive to work, but it doesn't bother me.

Whatever the reason I am like that, it is indeed an uncommon mindset. I do my best even if I get no positive feedback because it doesn't matter whether other people acknowledge me; I know I worked hard, and that's enough for me.

So ... I guess I'm just proud of myself. Proud of how much I have grown as a person and how I have overcome so many barriers to get here. I could have given up at any time and no one would have faulted me, but I didn't, and I'm still going, even when the odds are against me and it feels pointless.

That's really special. I'm honored to be the person I am today.

[cosmicallyavg]

18, 19, 22

what is a line/scene you’re really proud of? give us the DVD commentary for that scene.

jhjdahkjd as embarrassing as it is every time i think about it. i genuinely am so proud of myself for the entirety of “let your eyes look up upon me for the better”??? like wtf was that? i wrote sex? and ive been told it was good? by many people? what???? like the whole thing could use a DVD commentary, like i could break down every line but that would take so long and i doubt anyone actually would read it all but ill just do a quick summary of my commentary for it.

i genuinely think thasmin has awoken something in me because never in a million years would i have thought i would want to write something mature and i actually did?? and still think of similar ideas to this day? but i really feel such strong connections to each of the characters in different ways that i wanted to depict in this fic, so i did. you could do a whole psychoanalysis on me based on the fic alone because so much of myself is in there adkjsgjsdf 

as an asexual person, fanfiction is a scary place to navigate because there is a lot of very explicit sex, which for some might not be a huge deal, but for me it is. so i wanted to create something that i was comfortable writing, and therefore would be comfortable reading, that still allows me to participate in that sort of writing. and i hope other ace people who are typically uncomfortable reading smut would be able to read as well. i wanted to write sex from what i call “the ace-gaze” where the focus is on the emotion and the characters rather than on the actual sexual acts themselves. and what better vessel to portray it than thasmin??  because i do sometimes want characters to do that kind of stuff, but i dont want to be quite literally disgusted reading it. smut always feels so fake to me. like ur telling me those people just Did that? and no one feels nervous or scared? unrealistic. dont want it. reading something else.

so seeing myself in these characters, i wanted them to be able to engage in such activities, but i wanted it to be realistic, to be exactly how i would imagine things to progress between the two. because with the doctor being asexual (they are and you cannot take this from me) and yaz only just admitting that she’s queer and therefore being inexperienced (my personal headcanon) i just Know it would be so awkward. and i didnt want to skirt around it, i wanted it to feel real. that neither of them know what theyre doing but they just want to have the experience together because they dont have much time left and they love each other 😭😭😭 

so yeah. there are so many layers to that fic and i could talk about it for hours analyzing every line i wrote but that would be. a lot to unpack. 

who is the easiest/hardest character for you to write about? why?

i genuinely typed up a whole response for this and then decided i wanted to change my answer so here we go jsdfhskjd

my range of characters that i have written is very very small but i have found that writing actions/dialogue for the doctor is a lot more fun than for a companion? like theyre so neurodivergent theyre just like me fr so a lot of the awkwardness comes naturally to me vs a companion that is generally less ND, or at least that they dont express it in a way that i can relate to and therefore can write easier.

now when it comes to exposition/the internal monologue of a character, using the companion’s POV is a lot easier bc it can be hard to express how i imagine the doctor’s internal monologue is. like thoughts jumping from one to the next to the next with seemingly no connection?? ultimately i Get it, like my brain does the same thing, so im no stranger to the process, but writing it in a way that is effective and that makes sense to readers can be difficult.

and generally the stories that i come up with are more easily depicted from the companion’s POV, so i get to do their internal thoughts and then the doctor’s actions/dialogue. so it’s often the best of both worlds!! but my current WIP actually is told mostly from the doctor’s POV so we Are switching it up a bit here soon 👀

TL;DR: ultimately it depends on what aspect of writing we are talking about, whether its actions, dialogue, exposition, prose, description, etc. because each character can be easier/harder for some and not the others.

have you cried while writing a fic?

no, but i definitely do write a line sometimes and i feel the sort of happy/sad/etc that i would hope my readers will feel when they read it. like sometimes i write something and im genuinely impressed with my capabilities because i type the line and i just Know the readers are going to eat it up

fic author questions <3

[ihatemyselfbutidolovetea]

12/31/2023

Well, here we are at the end of 2023. I don't remember if I did an end-of-the-year diary entry. This has possibly been the most stressful year I've been through and I imagine it will get harder and more stressful. All that means is that I am participating in life like everyone else on the planet. I've made new friends, I've gained new experiences, I got a new job, I've learned more about myself... Despite the stress, I'd say there is a lot to appreciate about 2023.

This one is going to be a long one... I've been getting into Jennette McCurdy's work, and I listened to her year-end review podcast episode. So instead of just talking about my year in a stream of consciousness, I'm going to start with answering the same questions she did in her podcast.

What is your proudest achievement?

I'm proud of maintaining a job while going to school. I think the previous me would have definitely given up by now, but knowing that I'm about to reach my one year of working for Jewel makes me feel more confident. I feel like I can do more.

2. What or whom are you most thankful for?

I'm thankful for a lot of people in my life to be honest, it's hard to rank them all. But if I had to say, my confidante would be there. There are people who try their best to motivate me and support me, and honestly bless their hearts for trying. But I feel like no one really talks to me the way he does. The way he radically accepts me, and trusts me. The way he will stay up all night to give me a friend to talk to and enrich my life. The way he forgives me when I honestly don't deserve it. It is the kind of forgiveness that doesn't make me feel, "welp, all's well things are normal." It's the kind of forgiveness that inspires me. At one point in the heat of despair, he asks me what I gain out of our companionship and I wish I could have said this. I just said garbled prattling. I hope we can continue to be companions.

3. What surprised you most?

I had a very traumatic November. The month wherein Jayson didn't want to be with me was something I was not prepared for. Everything shitty leading up to that was equally painful. We were fighting a lot. Edit: I wrote down some memories of our fights, but I decided to delete that part because I honestly want to forget those moments and leave them in the past. Jayson will probably want us to forget those bad times. And I'm getting old, memories that would have haunted me as a child or a teen don't stick with me anymore, the perks of having a goldfish memory bank. I know Jayson regrets how he's acted. The day he took me back was polarizing. I loved him, and I wanted to be with him, but the tiger parenting and the abandonment made me hesitant. Ultimately if he was willing to give me a chance to grow as a person, then I wanted to do the same. We are still together. When I told my cousin we repaired our relationship she asked me if I was happy. I didn't know if I was but after spending time with Jayson again, I was reminded why my heart chose him. Right now we are very happy, and we are excited to move forward in our lives.

4. How has your relationship with yourself changed?

I think this was the year I've done the most changing, ergo my relationship with myself has changed. I still struggle with loving myself, I'm still overcritical, I struggle with forgiving myself, and I beat myself up when I've not improved enough. What has improved is my strife to understand what my own needs are and I'm more motivated to go after what I want. I want to try new things, face more fears, be myself in a way that is loud and confident, and unapologetic. I've come to appreciate how impenetrable my optimism is. I get sad, frustrated, and insecure, but I don't feel trapped in my negativity. No matter how much I dislike people, no matter how dark and scary the world seems to be, I somehow manage to find reasons to smile.

5. How have your life goals changed?

I've added more life goals whether that would be the long-term or the short term. Some goals have been taking me a long time to achieve, but I don't think I've ever given up on a goal. There might have been some advice my peers have given me, I try them and then decide they aren't for me so I stop. But I don't think that counts...?

6. How have your relationships with your friends and family changed?

I'll start with family first. I've grown more emotionally distant from my siblings. Reese is still brotherly to me but he's involved with the school so much that he's evolved to a level of communication I cannot talk with. Aki just hates me. Gwen is difficult to talk to, we're on different levels of development. I don't really have the desire to grow closer to them. I still want to maintain a good relationship with my parents. My relationship with my mom hasn't changed. I've grown to appreciate my dad more. Although my dad has a bad case of Trump derangement syndrome. All he watches is neo-lib socialists that make whole-ass careers outta saying "Orange man bad" a million different ways. I'm not political by the way, I just don't understand how my dad is entertained by this. Despite that, I love my dad and now that he's retired, I can look back at how hard he worked to give my family a great life. Outside my immediate family, I've spent quality time with my cousin for girl talk, which is nice. Next, I shall talk about my friends. Friendship is difficult to maintain as an adult. Especially if you aren't going to the same school or working at the same job. I've already discussed the rough patch with my boyfriend but we are improving things. I have other friends but I just don't know how to say hi or strike up a good conversation. I crave connection, I get frustrated at small talk or when I feel like I'm not being fully understood. This is why I talk to my confidante so much. The conversations we have feel meaningful. I'm anxious that I spilled my spaghetti on him sometimes. Edit: I don't like going back and removing my thoughts from my diary after I post but geez -a-loo I made a classic example of spilling my damn spaghetti. Our relationship has gone through some changes but I ended up focusing too much on the negative because I let my pride and ego cloud my judgment. You could tell I my head was up my ass cuz I focused too much on how it was affecting me and not the fact that I should be worried about how he's been sick and was making concerning jokes about himself. I'll write more about this concept but damn I needed an ego check. I really want to try to become proper friends with my art senpai. But I will have to get over my inferiority complex if I want to grow closer.

7. What do you wish you worried about less?

This is going to sound incredibly cliche, but I wish I would just stop worrying about what other people think. I still do and it's stunted my growth, it is almost in the realm of ruining my life. I want to stop letting people affect my mood, stop waiting to hear other people's opinions, and stop pretending like I understand how people are feeling when I really don't. The Healthy Gamer put out a video about rejection sensitivity and it pretty much summed up my problem

This is why I can't seem to sit with neutral or negative social interactions. All logic tells me that I won't loose my confidante as a friend, but the fact that I'm feeling the lack of presence or maybe feelings of disapproval more than anything positive makes me anxious. I end up spiraling and I keep asking myself what should I do to fix this now that I've fucked up the friendship. I think this also why I have a desire to be babied. A baby or a little girl will most likely have immediate approval just by existing. There's safety in knowing that whatever I do will be met with patience understanding and support, and not the risk of judgment or disappointment. It also leads into body dysmorphia, a problem I have relapsed into again and again when I thought I was over it. "Oh if only I was smaller and cuter people would like me, they'd want to take care of me, but instead I'm a tall ugly adult woman who's a total crybaby and needs to grow tf up." The dysmorphia really fucks with me and I wish it wasn't just a problem for me in 2023.

8. What is your funniest memory of the year?

I can't really think of anything Laugh out loud funny memories. I was more stressed out than laughing. If I had to pick it would be the strange Chicago whether that brought upon holiday tone switches. On Halloween, there was a big snowstorm. The snow didn't stick and pile on the ground for too long but just the amount made it difficult to walk or drive in it. You'd think something like this would happen on Christmas but no. On Christmas Eve there was a thick layer of fog that made my town feel like Silent Hill. I'm not kidding, the stores and Christmas decorations made everything feel so creepy and liminal. It was the strangest thing. It's funny how things turned out like that.

9. What new or renewed friendships do you cherish?

I cherish the friendships I have now. The only ones I can think of is the friendships I want to renew or plan to add to my life. I want to be proper friends with my art senpai, this is true. There are also a few friendships I've grown distant from due to being busy. One of my closer friends seems to have left Discord out of nowhere and I need to find a new way of contacting him.

10. What bad habits do you wish you'd changed?

Ohhhh so many bad habits I should have dropped yesterday. To list off a few, general laziness is a big one, overeating, and over-stimulation leading to short dopamine bursts; i.e. laying on my bed watching YouTube videos or worse watching pornography. There's also negative self-talk and the habit of jumping to bad conclusions. We've talked about how I'm so afraid of rejection and negative reactions from others. I also want to stop being so conflict-avoidant. I don't want drama, but I don't want to tolerate bad vibes in my life like I normally do just to keep a social circle or just to keep the peace. If there is conflict I want to limit how sensitive I can be. I'm just a sensitive person and I don't think that will change. But being overly sensitive has held me back in terms of social competency. I can't just take a joke, and I get overbearing to others like constantly asking how they are feeling. If I'm too clingy I end up trying to be too present in their lives. If I don't get a text back that causes a spiral of self-blame. Day ruined. I also want to stop touching and picking at my face so much. I'm getting older and my skin will not be as forgiving if I pop a zit and it leaves a scar after picking so much at the scab it left. Some good habits I want to introduce in my life are waking up early again, going to the gym every day, regulating my emotions through meditation, washing my face every day, keeping a weekly schedule, reading more books instead of fucking around on YT, exercising my creative muscle more, eating healthy, and cleaning my room regularly. All of this will be helpful on my journey to excellency.

11. What theme do you want the next year to take?

I will be doing a lot more self-exploration. But I will not be just sitting around waiting for an epiphany. The quest for excellecy requires me to take action. So my theme for 2024 will be turning into a fully realized woman. I've been a woman for a long time now, but during that time, I had an aversion to calling myself a woman or engaging in womanhood. I was carrying what most people would call internalized misogyny. I'm not talking about traditional women being class citizens to men and their only purpose is sex, making babies, and making sandwiches kind of misogyny. It's I don't understand women very well so I should just not try to engage in active feminity. That being having more female friends, wearing make-up, decorating, fashion- all these things I thought were choices made by women to impress other people. But I've discovered that engaging with yourself this way is all part of growing up, and self-acceptance. It's not that I hate women it's just that I've yet to realize who I am as a woman. My identity is very weak. It might be why people find me boring after a while. There's nothing about me to latch on to, nothing solid. When you are a child you can wear whatever you want, roll around in a messy bedroom, and be fluid with your identity. It's not an issue specific to women, but I am a woman and I want to emphasize that. I'd say I'm an artist before saying I'm a woman. I don't mean take a megaphone and shout to everyone about my pretty pink princess. I want to make more independent choices for myself. I want to fully engage with my interests and not just observe them on the sidelines. I want to decorate my room all coquette and princess-y. My art senpai is what inspired this need in me. She doesn't just express her excellency through her art but I consider her a fully realized woman, brimming with confidence and maturity. I want to be the kind of woman that knows what she wants. It's a big reason why I wish to be proper friends with her. This leads me to my next point; having more female friends. You might notice that my life is very male-centered. The most trusted people in my life are my boyfriend, my confidante (who is male), and my dad. Plus all my other friends are guys. Having a lot of men in my life is not inherently bad. I love the men in my life very much. But I always thought something was missing from my relationships. There was a lack of freedom in conversation that I could not achieve with my male peers. To do this I must get over the hurdle of anxiety in messing up or failing to make a true connection.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭

End of part one (kinda) I think I'm going to save the rest of what I wanted to say until tomorrow. Until then Happy New Year. I will appreciate how much I've changed!

[readymades2002]

i am going to make dinner now. if the next thing i post isnt a picture proving that i made dinner then you guys need to override my programming by clicking the oven or refrigerator and selecting the “make dinner” option so that i can get up and make dinner okay?

[kingexpl0sionmurder]

Sour Candy - Bakugou Katsuki

Author: @kingexpl0sionmurder Rating: 18+ (Smut) Words: 12,276 Pairing: Bakugou Katsuki/F!Reader (Aged up, characters are in college) Warnings: Language, smut, Shinsou is kind of a dick, I made Bakugou a fan of LotR alright?

AN: I have been writing this for 84 years. This is my first attempt at Bakugou. Please be gentle lol. Shout out to @unbreakablekiribaku for listening to me talk about this fic since FEBRUARY and @420bakubaby​ for being one of the first people to read this and then scream at me for stopping mid smut for like 2 months. Bakugou’s poor neck lmfao. xoxoxo Masterlist is here Buy me a Kofi?

---

You sighed, resting your head on your folded arms at the table. You tuned out the chattering of the girls around you, Ashido and Hagakure giggling at something to your right.

“You okay, Y/N?” Uraraka shot you a concerned look from across the table, causing you to lift your head and gaze at her.

“Yeah, I’m just bored.” And lonely, but she didn’t need to know that. Your eyes fell back to the table in front of you. 

“I think you just miss Shinsou.” Ashido’s tone was teasing and it caused you to roll your eyes a little. She hit the nail on the head, but it wasn’t him that you missed, not really. It was just the companionship. Sure, you had your girlfriends, but it wasn’t the same thing.

“I don’t miss him.”

“Did you break up?” Jirou leaned her face on her palm, raising her eyebrows and looking at you curiously.

You snorted. “We were never together. We just had an...arrangement.”

“He decided to focus on his training,” Ashido explained when you offered no further information. “They’ve decided to just be friends.”

“I’m sorry, Y/N.” Tsu reached out and patted your arm from her place on the other side of the table, beside Uraraka.

You offered her a smile, letting your gaze fall to your lap. You weren’t all that sad about it. There were no real feelings between you and Hitoshi, there never had been. You just had a good time together, letting off a little steam when things became too stressful. You were proud of him for focusing on getting stronger, especially after everything he’d gone through when you were back in UA and how hard he’d worked to get into the hero course, and you didn’t hold his decision against him.

“You need a new distraction!” Hagakure trilled excitedly, breaking you from your thoughts. “We just need to find you a new boy.”

“I don’t need a new boy.” You groaned, leaning back. “I can function without one.” Eyes closed, your lips pulled into a frown. “I don’t want to do the meaningless sex thing again.”

Ashido, who clearly had not been listening, craned her neck to look around the cafeteria where you were having lunch. “What about Kaminari?”

You rolled your eyes. “Ashido, come on. I don’t want-”

“Ooh yeah!” Hagakure continued. “He’s cute, right? Maybe a little pervy, but I bet he’s kinky!”

Jirou gave her a look. “Keep it down! Don’t let him hear you say that! He’d never shut up about it.”

“He’s too easy. All I’d have to do is look at him and he’d cum in his pants.” Your lips curled up into a smirk, shaking your head. Kaminari was cute and you’d been friends for a long time, but you didn’t think the two of you would work out. Plus, you weren’t interested in him like that. 

The table burst into a fit of giggles. Yaoyorozu leaned over from your other side. “You want a challenge then? What about Todoroki?”

All eyes slid to the other side of the cafeteria where Todoroki sat, eating his soba with his chopsticks quietly, while Kirishima and Sero were laughing loudly over his head.

“He’s gorgeous, but he scares me a little bit. Strong and silent types aren’t my thing.” He was a little too...obtuse a lot of the time. Social cues went right over that boy’s head. 

“So gorgeous…” Ashido sighed, slumping across the table. “Okay, what about Kiri? I could put in a good word.”

You decided to let your friends have their fun, playing along. It wasn’t their fault they didn’t know about the secret crush you’d been harboring on a certain boy.

“Shark boy is tempting. I’d let him do anything he wanted to me. Have you seen him without a shirt? And those pointy teeth…” You trailed off, gazing into the distance.

“Eijirou has two quirks; hardening, and respecting women. He would probably be too vanilla for you.” Hagakure was right, of course.

“You never know, though. I’d like to call him Red Daddy Riot at least once.” You said dreamily, earning loud laughter from the girls around you. Kirishima was hot and had a great personality, but in all seriousness, he was just a friend. 

“Midoriya?” Tsu suggested.

Your eyes shot to Uraraka, instantly noticing the blush on her cheeks. “Nah, he’s off-limits.” You were one of the only ones who knew how Uraraka felt about Deku, and you weren’t about to do that to her, so you shut that idea down quickly.

You turned back to the table the guys were occupying, eyes wandering over each of them with feigned interest. 

“I’ve got it!” Ashido was too excited, her loud voice commanding the attention of the room. She sunk back into her seat when a few people turned their heads in your table’s direction. 

All of the girls around you leaned in to hear her better when she beckoned them closer. “Bakugou.” She said conspiratorially, wiggling her eyebrows at you.

“Do you think Y/N has a death wish?” Jirou huffed. “Ashido, that wasn’t a serious suggestion, was it?”

Uraraka winced, her pink cheeks getting ever pinker. “If you think Todoroki is scary, he’s nothing compared to Bakugou.”

Tsu, always the observant one, shook her head. “He’s not as mean as he makes himself out to be. He’s like sour candy.”

“Bitter on the outside, sweet on the inside?” Yaoyorozu was grinning, picking up on Tsu’s metaphor.

“If anyone could crack him, it’s you Y/N. You don’t put up with shit.” Ashido pressed on. “You’re strong too, and he’ll respect that. Plus, he’s nicer to you than he is to the rest of us.”

“That doesn’t mean much, cause he’s still kind of a dick to me.” You said. “But…” You glanced over to see Bakugou eating his sashimi with a permanent frown on his face. “If you think I’d let Kiri do whatever he wanted to me, then times that by a million, and that’s what I’d let Bakugou do.”

“I’d let him blow me up.” You could just picture Hagakure slumping over dramatically. “Those washboard abs, his bulging biceps…”

“You okay, Hagakure? Someone get the spray bottle.” Jirou’s eyes were alright with mirth, lips curled into a teasing smile. 

“You think I should try?” You asked the table, your gaze still locked on the ash blonde across the room. 

If you were being honest with yourself, Bakugou was the only boy that you could see yourself with. You’d been intrigued by him since your first year at UA, and had always wondered what it would be like to date him. You had given up on the idea of ever getting him to like you, knowing that getting close enough to him would be a daunting task. He had built walls around himself since day one, putting up an unapproachable front, and you’d always thought it would be impossible. And now, 4 years later, you were all attending the same hero college, and you felt like your chances to win his affections hadn’t gotten any better. 

But, what was the harm in it?

“If anyone can do it, you can,” Tsu confirmed, breaking you from your reverie. 

Ashido squealed, bouncing in her seat. “You two would be so cute!”

You turned to look across the room, catching a glimpse of bright amethyst eyes peering in your direction. Hitoshi smiled at you before turning his attention back to his friends, and you searched your heart for any feelings that you might have missed for him. When you came up with nothing, you knew you’d made your decision.

“Well, Ashido, I guess you better start thinking of ship names. Operation Bang Bakugou is in full effect, starting immediately.” You said finally, smiling at your friends.

They didn’t need to know how you felt about him, anyway. That was your secret motivation. You just hoped this didn’t blow up in your face. 

---

Twenty-four hours later, you had made zero progress. The most you’d gotten was a heated glare from the explosive blonde when he’d caught you staring at him during one of the classes you shared. You were starting to think the whole thing was hopeless, but you couldn’t give up. Your mama didn’t raise no quitter.

You decided this was going to take some time and a lot of research. You started by observing Bakugou’s routine. It was fate that you’d been assigned to the same dormitory, along with the rest of your high school friends, so you would have plenty of opportunities to watch him without being creepy.

He got up insanely early every morning and went for a run, and then showered and ate breakfast. After his last class, he would do his homework and hang out with Kirishima and the rest of his squad before wandering off to bed around 8 pm, like a grandpa. On the weekends he would keep the same morning routine, and then would spend his afternoons in the gym unless someone was able to convince him to break his regimen and actually participate in a group activity, but it was rare and he would be grumpy about it the whole time.

You filed his relationship with Eijirou away for a moment of desperation. You wanted to try to do this all on your own if you could, but it was good to know that you might have an in if you needed it. For now, you were going to try to get Bakugou to talk to you. 

You begrudgingly set your alarm for the ungodly hour of 5 am the night before you put your half-assed idea into motion. When it woke you up out of a nice dream you grumbled, dragging yourself to the bathroom to wash your face and fix your bed head. You dressed in your workout clothes and stumbled downstairs with your running shoes, your phone, and a pair of headphones shoved into the front pocket of your hoodie.

You sat down on the front steps to the dorm, lacing up your shoes and yawning.

“What are you doing here?”

Your head snapped up, eyes locking with Bakugou’s red ones as he stood behind you. You cleared your throat. “Hey, Bakugou. I was just getting ready to go for a run.”

His posture was stiff as always. “You don’t go for runs.”

“Not normally, no. But I think it’ll benefit me. I want to get faster.” You shrugged. “Are you going running too? Maybe we can run together?”

“Tch. You wouldn’t be able to keep up, princess.” He sat down and pulled on his shoes, no longer paying you any attention.

You didn’t want to push him, so you didn’t say anything, moving to the grass and sitting down so you could stretch. The morning was nice, a little chilly, but the breeze felt good and it was quiet. You felt his eyes on you but you ignored him, reaching out to touch your toes, flexing your feet. When you were satisfied, you stood, bending your knee and grabbing your foot to pull it back.

Bakugou was standing in front of you. “Just stay out of my way. I usually run towards the training grounds and then loop back around the dorms. It’s about two miles all the way around.”

You looked over at him, trying not to grin. “Yeah, okay. Thanks.”

“I’m not doing you any favors, don’t thank me.” He snapped. “Fucking Christ. Just shut up.” 

Your eyes widened as he turned his back to you, reaching into his hoodie for his headphones and shoving them in his ears. He messed with his phone for a second, before turning around and glaring at you.

You followed his lead, shoving an earbud in one ear and turning on your music. When you put your phone away he grunted and started jogging in the direction of the training grounds, and you followed, keeping pace behind him.

It was nice, it felt good to get your blood pumping so early in the morning. The campus was deserted, no one was probably even awake at this hour. Bakugou was quiet, but you didn’t expect him to speak to you, let alone let you run with him, so you didn’t have any complaints. You took this as a win though, because he’d at least acknowledged your existence. 

Your legs were burning about three-fourths of the way through but you pushed on, not wanting to seem weak in front of him. You assumed if you stopped or slowed, he wouldn’t wait for you, and you thought it might hurt your chances of getting to do this with him again. 

Your discomfort must have been apparent, though, because he grunted and looked back at you. “Oi! What’s your problem?”

You shook your head. “I’m fine.”

“No you’re fucking not, you’re slowing and you’re not breathing right.” He slowed down a little. “You’re pushing yourself too much.”

Your legs ached, and you felt a stitch forming in your side.“I said I’m fine.” 

“Stubborn fucking-“ He slowed further, back into a light jog. “Your body isn’t used to this. I shouldn’t have let you come with me.”

“You can go without me, Bakugou. I can handle myself.” You grumbled, hating that he was right. 

He rolled his eyes. “I usually start slowing down now anyway.” He reached in his other hoodie pocket and pulled out a water bottle, shoving it at you. “Drink.”

You didn’t even have it in you to argue, taking the bottle from him and unscrewing the cap, drinking slowly from it. You handed it back to him, keeping your gaze set on your shoes. You could practically feel the anger radiating off of him as he jogged beside you. It looked like all you’d managed to do was piss him off further.

When you finally reached the dorms you threw yourself on the grass, your heart thudding hard in your chest and your muscles aching. You closed your eyes, waiting for your breathing to slow, vaguely aware of Bakugou sitting somewhere to your right.

“Hey, dumbass. Don’t forget to stretch.”

You opened one eye to peer over at him. “Mm. I know.” You sat up and sighed before you started stretching, knowing you’d be in pain later regardless.

Bakugou drank from the water bottle, and then tossed it at you, watching as it hit the ground beside you. “We’ll take a shorter path tomorrow and work you up to more.”

You stopped, looking at him with your jaw wide open. “What?”

“Don’t tell me you’re going to give up already, idiot.” He stood up. “I didn’t take you for a quitter.”

“I’m not!” You said quickly. “I just...I don’t want you to fuck up your routine for me.”

“Tch.” He glared at you, shoving his hands in his pockets. “You obviously need the help since you can’t even handle two miles. It pisses me off. So I’m going to make you my personal project.” He turned to walk inside. “Same time tomorrow. Don’t be late.”

You watched him go, your eyes wide. You couldn’t even believe this was happening. “Hey, Bakugou!”

He stopped, not bothering to turn and look at you. “What?”

“Thanks.”

His shoulders tensed. “Whatever.”

You kept your eyes on him as he disappeared into the building, letting out a breath you didn’t even realize you were holding when he was out of sight. “Well, fuck.”

—

“So what’s going on with you and Bakugou?” Ashido asked a few weeks later while you were sitting down to lunch again. “Any progress?”

There had been a little progress. Bakugou seemed to enjoy your company. It took you a few days to realize it, but he insulted you less. Like, he still called you an idiot and a dumbass, and occasionally he referred to you as ‘shitty woman’, but it wasn’t the same. It was like there was no anger behind his words.

“They go running together every morning now, didn’t you know that?” Hagakure‘s voice came from your right. If you could see her face you knew she’d be grinning widely.

Jirou gazed at you with her eyebrow cocked. “Interesting. He doesn’t let anyone run with him.”

“He does now.” You mumbled, looking down at your soba. “I kind of forced myself upon him. He’s taken me up as a charity case. But I’m getting better.”

“He’s such a hardass. He probably barks orders at you the whole time. I’m not sure it’d be worth it.” Ashido was concerned for you, and it made you smile. She was a good friend.

“He’s alright.” You glanced over at the boys’ table and caught him looking at you. His neck snapped forward when you caught his eye. “Actually, it’s going pretty well.”

“So when’s the wedding?” Tsu’s tone was light, and you knew she was making fun of you. 

You snorted at her. “Okay, not /that/ well. Not yet at least.”

“Do you guys talk at all?” Yaoyorozu leaned on her elbow and blinked at you.

“I talk, he sort of listens? I don’t know. He doesn’t tell me to shut up, so that’s got to mean something, right?”

The second day you’d run together, you asked him what he was listening to, and he’d shoved one of his earbuds at you in response. It was some heavy metal band, and you understood maybe every three words due to the screaming and growling of the lead singer, but it was fitting for Bakugou. You ran the rest of the time listening to it together, and it was nice and kind of unexpected. The next day you’d given him one of your earbuds and he’d listened to your music choices. You were pretty sure that was the first time you’d heard him genuinely laugh at something, even if it was just because he heard the lyric “Tell the haters to suck my fucking cock”.

“It’s better than him blowing you up or something.” Uraraka mused, pulling you out of your thoughts. 

“We’ll see. We’re going to study together later so…”

Ashido gaped at you. “What? He told us he couldn’t help us with the math homework. Kaminari asked him earlier and he said he had plans.” 

“I’m the plans I guess?” You could feel the blush rising on your cheeks. “I’m meeting him in his room after dinner.”

“His room? Y/N, no one has seen his room except for Kirishima! This is big!” Jirou looked absolutely ecstatic for you. 

“Shh! Not so loud!” You felt your face turning even redder. “Don’t ruin this for me.”

“You cracked him, Y/N.” Tsu looked almost proud of you, her smile lighting up her whole face.

“I never thought this would go anywhere! Good luck, Y/N! We’re rooting for you!” Hagakure giggled excitedly, and you felt her grab your arm and shake you.

The rest of the table nodded in agreement, offering you congratulations. 

“Thanks, guys. I’m actually hella nervous.” You turned your attention back to your lunch.

“If how often he keeps looking over here is any indication, you don’t have anything to worry about,” Yaoyorozu elbowed you, a teasing tone in her voice.

You looked over to see him staring at you again. You smiled at him, and he just glared back, but it wasn’t the heated one you were used to. “Yeah, maybe you’re right.”

—

You were heading back to the dorms after your last class, your bag slung over your shoulder, lost in thought. You wondered what you should wear later, running through possible outfits in your head as you walked. If you dressed up too much Bakugou might get suspicious, and you were trying to keep things casual for now. 

“Hey, kitten.”

Your head snapped up, meeting the sleepy purple gaze of Shinsou as he fell into step beside you. 

“Hey, ‘Toshi. How’s your training going?”

He shrugged, amethyst eyes meeting yours. “It’s alright. I’m running myself ragged. But it’s good. It feels good, you know?”

You nodded, biting your bottom lip. You were happy for him. “I’m glad to hear that. You’ve always worked so hard, it’s going to pay off.”

Hitoshi lifted his hand to rub the back of his neck, his trademark move. “Yeah, maybe. How’re things with you?”

“Okay. I’ve been running in the mornings before class. I’m getting faster. I can do almost two miles in about 16 minutes.” 

“Wow. That’s pretty good.” He looked impressed, his hands sliding into his pockets as you walked.

“I’ve got a pretty good teacher.” You said vaguely, not wanting to give him any more information.

“Oh yeah? Who?”

“Just, someone in my dorm. It’s not important.” You knew he’d be less than pleased. You didn’t care what he thought, you just wanted to avoid the inevitable badmouthing he was prone to when it came to Bakugou.

You turned your head, looking forward. Bakugou was standing in front of the dorms with Kirishima just ahead of you. He looked up and caught your eye, frowning when he saw Hitoshi walking beside you.

Shinsou followed your gaze. “You’re training with that asshat, aren’t you?” He looked mildly disgusted. “I’m surprised he hasn’t killed you yet.”

“He’s not that bad, you know that. He knows his shit.” Your brows furrowed. This was exactly what you’d been trying to avoid.

“Maybe so, but he’s also a giant douchebag.”

You stopped walking, tired of the conversation already. You knew him well enough to know that this wasn’t just a casual catch up, anyway. “You haven’t spoken to me in like a week, Hitoshi. What do you want?”

Shinsou raised his eyebrows. “Chill out, kitten. I just wanted to say hi. I missed you.” He reached out, his fingers trailing along your cheek. 

You looked over when you heard yelling. Kirishima was calling after Bakugou, the fiery blonde storming away from him and inside the building. What was that about?

You jerked back from Hitoshi’s touch. “Nope. None of that. You’re the one who ended things with us, remember?” 

“So we can't be friends? Wasn’t that the deal?”

Your frustration was apparent in your posture. “It was. But that’s not what you were thinking and we both know it.” You turned, walking backwards towards the building. “I’ve gotta go. I’ll see you later.”

His face pinched. “What’s your problem? Are you fucking him already? You don’t waste a second.”

You felt your anger bubbling up in the pit of your stomach. Turning around, you fixed him with a glare. “No, I’m not. Jealousy isn’t a good look on you, Shinsou. Fuck off.”

You spun back towards the dorms, your hands shaking as you stormed past Kirishima and slammed the front door open.

“Y/N, wait!”

You kept walking, ignoring the looks you were getting from the group that was sitting in the common area. You didn’t stop until you reached the elevator, jamming your finger against the button harder than necessary.

The sound of sneakers slapping against the floor had you spinning around. Kirishima was approaching, looking concerned. “Hey, you okay?”

“Fine.” You snapped, turning back to the elevator. “What’s up?”

“Oh! Well, I don’t know, it looked like you were fighting with Shinsou. I just wanted to make sure you were alright.”

You felt bad for snapping at him. Eijirou was a good friend. “Yeah, sorry. I’m okay. He’s just a dick.”

Kiri chuckled, his sharp teeth on display. “Yeah, he kind of is.”

Changing the subject, you shrugged. “Is Bakugou okay? He looked mad. Like, madder than usual.” The elevator dinged and you entered it, moving aside so he could join you.

He pushed the button for your floor and then his. “Yeah, he’s fine. He’s just…”

“Being Bakugou?”

“Yeah, basically. You get it.” He reached up to touch his bright red spikes, before his gaze settled on your face, bright red eyes glinting conspiratorially. “What’s going on with you two anyway?”

You froze, panicking slightly. Was it that obvious? “What? Nothing.”

“Yeah, that’s what he says too. You can’t fool me though. I know for a fact that I’m the only person he can tolerate on a normal day, and he doesn’t let me go running with him.” He looked at you knowingly, raising an eyebrow.

You felt your cheeks heating up, imagining their color rivaled the hair on his head. “He’s just helping me train.”

Kiri sighed. “Just do me a favor and be nice to him. He’s my best bro.”

The elevator dinged again when it reached your floor. You stepped out and turned back to him. “Nothings going on, Kiri.” You repeated. “We’re just friends.” 

So what if you wanted to be more? Kirishima didn’t need to know that.

“Sure. See you at dinner, Y/N.” He winked as the doors closed and left you standing in the hallway alone. 

—

After dinner, you went to your room to grab your math textbook and your pencil case. You decided to put on your comfy clothes, slipping on your favorite pair of leggings and an oversized t-shirt, and throwing your hoodie on over it before you made your way to the elevator.

You stood in front of Bakugou’s door, taking a deep breath before knocking. You didn’t have to wait long, the door flying open moments later. “What do you want?”

You blinked at him, biting your lip. “We were supposed to study, remember?”

He frowned, his eyebrows scrunching together as he stared at you, his arms folded across his chest. “Thought you weren’t coming.” He was waiting for an answer. You raised your eyebrows at him in lieu of a reply, and he sighed, opening the door wider and letting you enter.

His room was neat, with an All Might poster on the wall above his desk. His bed was made, and he had a giant bookcase against the far wall filled with books. It was kind of fitting for him. You didn’t expect anything flashy, it was Bakugou after all.

“Why wouldn’t I come? We made plans.” You questioned him, shuffling over to sit on the bed.

“Tch.” He flopped into his desk chair. “Thought you’d be off with eyebags instead.”

You stared at him, confused. “Shinsou? No.”

“Weren’t you dating him?” He kept his gaze on the book in front of him, his shoulders tense, and fists clenched on the desk.

“No. Not really.” Was he jealous? Was that what that fit was about outside the dorms after class?

He didn’t say anything, and you could feel the tension in the air. If he was feeling jealous from seeing you with Hitoshi earlier, then maybe things were going better than you’d hoped. You knew you had to say something to fix this.

“Bakugou.”

He looked up, glaring at you like he usually did, his eyes filled with something else other than anger. Hurt?

“I’m not dating Shinsou. I’m not interested in him.” Putting your book down beside you, you leaned forward, your elbows on your knees. “We used to mess around but that’s over. We’re just friends.” 

You couldn’t read his expression, but he almost looked relieved for a moment, before turning back to his desk. “You needed help with math?”

You nodded, getting comfortable and pulling out your book, flipping to the page you’d marked off, your notebook folded over to where you’d copied the questions. “I’m terrible at this stuff. My brain just can’t comprehend it.”

“Tch. It’s not that hard, princess.” He got up and sat beside you on the bed. “Gimme that.” He took your pencil and started writing, explaining the problem, and each step.

You were trying to pay attention, but you were kind of in awe of him. Katsuki Bakugou was the whole package; he was smart, strong, good looking. He gave a shit about people even if he was good at hiding it behind insults and a big ego. There was no doubt in your mind that he’d be at the top of your class again, and climbing the ranks to number one hero once you’d graduated.

“Are you even listening?” His rough voice startled you out of your thoughts.

“Sorry, yes.” You took back the pencil, working on the next problem, following the steps he’d given you. “Like that?”

He hummed. “Maybe you’re not as hopeless as I thought.” He looked kind of proud of you, and it made your heart flutter.

Thinking back to what you’d said to Shinsou earlier about him, you grinned. “I’ve got a good teacher.”

“Damn right you do. Finish the rest of them and I’ll check them over when you’re done.” He got up and moved back over to his desk, slouching down to read over his textbook.

You got to work, flying through the problems faster than you thought possible. Something about the way he’d explained it had clicked in your head, and it suddenly just made sense. 

“Here.” You held out your notebook when you were done. 

Bakugou looked surprised, but took the notebook from you and began checking them over. 

You stood up, walking over to his bookshelf, and looking at his books. A lot of them were manga, some you’d actually read yourself. There were some fantasy novels, like Game of Thrones and Lord Of The Rings, graphic novels like Locke and Key and The Walking Dead. You had a lot more in common with him than you’d originally thought. 

“You just need to fix this one. Make sure you show your work or sensei will mark you down.” 

You turned back to him and smiled. “Thanks, Bakugou.” You took the notebook back and sat back on the bed, working on the problem Bakugou had instructed you to fix. “I didn’t know you liked Lord Of The Rings.” You were formulating a plan, and as usual, it was half-assed. 

He grunted, turning the page in his book. “What about it?”

“You know they’re showing the extended version at the theater next weekend.” You chanced a glance up at him, surprised to see he was watching you.

“And?” 

He was either completely dense or he wanted to make your life harder. You were leaning toward the latter. You bit back a sigh. “So, do you want to go with me?”

“What, like a date?” He huffed, folding his arms over his chest. You tried not the stare at his bulging biceps.

You finished your math problem, shoving your notebook back into the textbook and setting it aside, leaning forward again. “If you want.”

“Hah? You want to go on a date with me?” His eyebrows were furrowed, eyes squinting, like he was trying to figure you out. 

This was going well. Not. “Yeah, I do.”

He clicked his tongue, shaking his head. “Aren’t guys supposed to ask girls on dates?”

“I mean, that’s kind of sexist, isn’t it? Does it matter who asks who?” Fuck, he was being an ass. You weren’t sure why, but you kept going. “Is that a yes?”

He seemed to be looking everywhere else but at you directly, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth. “No.”

Your face fell, and you felt the tears welling up in your eyes. Determined not to let him see you cry, knowing he’d see it as a weakness, you forced a smile on your face. “Okay. Thanks again for your help, Bakugou.” 

You stood up, grabbing your book and your pencil, shoving it in the case and tucking it under your arm. You turned to the door, your heart aching. You thought you’d finally made some headway with him, but you were apparently wrong. This was an unmitigated disaster, and you couldn’t wait to crawl into your bed and never leave it again.

“Ugh, wait.”

You paused with your hand on the doorknob, turning to look at him. He stood up and walked up behind you, grabbing your arm lightly and pulling you towards him. You nearly dropped your book as your hand pressed against his chest to keep yourself from bumping into him. “What?”

“Go out with me next weekend.” He mumbled, his free hand moving up to push a piece of your hair away from your face. 

You blinked up at him, lost in the intensity of his stare. Suddenly, it clicked. “You just wanted to be the one to ask, didn’t you?”

“Obviously.” He rolled his eyes. “Don’t be an idiot.”

“Are you prepared to sit in a dark theater with me for three and a half hours?” You felt lighter, confidence back up to 100 percent. Trying to ignore how close you were pressed against him, you smiled.

He snorted. “If I didn’t think I could handle it, I wouldn’t have asked. I don’t do things I don’t want to do.”

He was right, of course. “Yeah, okay. It’s a date.” You leaned up on your toes and kissed his cheek before you lost your nerve. “Goodnight, Bakugou. See you in the morning.”

“Call me Katsuki.” 

Surprised, you just nodded. “Okay. Goodnight, Katsuki.”

You didn’t miss the pink blush on his cheeks when you pulled away, willing yourself not to look back at him as you turned around and opened the door, stepping out into the hallway.

Your night had gone better than you’d expected.

—

The rest of the week seemed to fly by, and the next thing you knew it was Saturday. 

You woke up at your normal 5 am and met Bakugou downstairs to start your run. You sat together on the grass, giggling and kicking his foot when he stretched his leg out beside yours. “What time did you want to leave later?”

He hummed. “The movie starts at 4. Did you want to eat before or after?”

Looking up at him shyly, you blushed. “We’re going for food?”

“Tch, of course. It’s a date, isn’t it?” He raised an eyebrow at you quizzically, looking at you like you were the biggest idiot he’d ever met. 

“Dinner and a movie? You’re really going all out, aren’t you, Katsuki?” Your heart swelled. You never imagined you’d get to this point with him.

He got to his feet, standing in front of you and folding his arms across his chest. “Keep it up and we won’t go at all.”

You squeaked. “I’m sorry!” You held out your arms and smiled when he grabbed your hands and pulled you up to stand. “After is good.” 

He nodded, rolling his neck. “Fine.”

You started running, trying not to smile when you noticed that he was letting you run beside him instead of making sure he was ahead of you. There were small things that had changed between the two of you since you’d decided to put some effort into building a relationship with him, and it made your heart flutter.

“Are you excited about tonight?” You wondered if he was nervous. Did Bakugou even get nervous?

He half shrugged. “I guess.” You didn’t say anything and he seemed to realize his answer was too short. “I didn’t get to see the extended edition in the theater so I’m looking forward to that.”

“Yeah, me too.” You had missed out on it too. Feeling a little bold, you continued. “Plus, it’ll be great to hang out with you.”

“You hang out with me every day.” He pointed out gruffly, shaking his head.

He had a point, and you felt like you probably sounded like a loser. No turning back now. “Yeah, I know. But this is different.”

He was silent for a moment, and you looked back over at him to see him deep in thought. His eyebrows were furrowed and he was biting at his bottom lip. “Why do you like me?” He asked suddenly, and you almost tripped over your own feet in surprise.

“What?” You managed to keep yourself upright, keeping up with his pace. He was blushing slightly, and it was probably the single most adorable thing you’d ever seen.

He kept his eyes forward. “Shitty hair says I’m scary. I know I’m not the easiest person to get along with, but you still want to go out with me, so I was just trying to figure it out.”

You rolled your eyes. “You’re not scary. People just don’t know how to approach you.” He scoffed and you continued. “I like you because you’re not a pushover. You don’t take anyone’s shit, you’re smart as hell. You’re going to be a great hero someday, Katsuki.”

“Ugh, shut up, you’re being sappy.” You saw the corner of his mouth twitch like he was trying not to smile.

“You asked! I’m just being honest.” You felt proud that you were able to get that reaction from him. “You know, I didn’t think you’d ever want to go out with me.”

His head snapped to the side, a scowl on his face. “Why wouldn’t I? You must be an idiot.”

“Hey!” You laughed. “Be nice to me.”

“I am being nice. I’m always nice to you, princess.” 

You didn’t comment on how the nickname he’d given you since day one made heat race pleasantly through your veins.

“Your definition of nice is slightly skewed, but I’ll accept it, I guess.” You didn’t want to push him too much, but you were curious. “Why does that make me an idiot, though? You never acted as you would ever date anyone, so I didn’t think I’d ever have a chance.”

The two of you rounded the path by the training grounds and started heading back towards the dorms. “I didn’t expect to…” He trailed off. “Look, being the number one hero is my top fucking priority. I didn’t even want to make friends and then Shitty hair happened.”

You nodded. Kirishima was a ball of sunshine that no one could avoid. He just had this way about him.

“You’re the only one out of all those extras that ever had a chance, okay?” He snapped his mouth shut, scowling, and you decided to let him be. The last thing you wanted to do was piss him off.

“Okay.” 

---

You finished your run, stretching and then heading back inside. You promised Bakugou you’d meet up with him around 2:30 so you had plenty of time to get to the theater.

After breakfast, you disappeared to your room for a while to knock out some dreaded weekend homework. Around noon you stood and stretched, deciding to take a shower and get ready for your date. You decided to wear a pair of black skinny jeans and booties with a cute top. Bakugou had mentioned wanting to take you out for ramen after, so you decided to keep your outfit casual but put together.

You met him in the common area a little after 2, ignoring the knowing grins on your friend’s faces as you left the dorm together, Bakugou’s hands shoved in his pockets, your hand looped through his arm.

You were walking down the main path in companionable silence, heading towards the road so Bakugou could call you an Uber to take you to the movies. Someone called out to you and you turned your head, your stomach dropping when you saw Shinsou making his way over. You glanced at Bakugou from the corner of your eye, noticing his tense posture and the frown on his face.

“What is it, Hitoshi? We were just leaving campus.” Your tone was clipped, not wanting to drag this out, since Bakugou was giving him a murderous glare. 

He lifted his arm to rub the back of his neck as usual. “Sorry, Y/N, I just wanted to apologize for what I said the other day. It was kind of shitty of me.”

You let go of Bakugou, crossing your arms across your chest. “Yeah, I’ll say.” You weren’t about to forgive him, not wanting him to walk all over you. “Was that it?”

His eyebrows furrowed. “Are you not going to forgive me?”

Bakugou decided to speak up beside you. “Obviously she isn’t, eyebags. Are you done? We have somewhere to be.”

“Hey, I wasn’t talking to you, Bakugou.” Hitoshi snapped. 

You watched as Katsuki lifted his right hand, his palm popping and sparking from his quirk. “Like I give a fuck? Fuck you, bastard!”

You grabbed his left arm. “Katsuki, don’t. He’s not worth it.” You looked back to Shinsou. “I’m not talking to you about this right now. We have to go.”

Hitoshi sneered. “Whatever, guess I was right, huh?” He turned around and started to walk away, turning his head to the side to throw a final insult over his shoulder. “Enjoy my sloppy seconds, Bakugou.”

It took an enormous amount of strength on your part to hold Bakugou back from running after the purple-haired boy. “I’ll fucking kill you, you fucking extra! Don’t fucking talk about her like that-”

“Katsuki, come on! It’s fine!” You tugged on his arm. “Let’s go.”

“It’s not fine!” He spat, but he let you pull him away, growling and snarling like a rabid dog. 

You kept a firm grip on his arm until he stopped looking back toward the other boy and you were a safe distance away from the school. He busied himself with pulling out his phone to call your ride, but you saw he was still seething quietly as he did so.

He shoved his phone in his pocket when you got to the road, moving to the side of the campus entrance and leaning against the wall. “What was he apologizing for?”

You looked away from him, knowing if you didn’t tell him he’d be preoccupied with it all night. You didn’t want to ruin the date but you knew how much he appreciated honesty, so you told him. “He insinuated that I was fucking you, and he basically called me a slut for moving on from him so quickly.”

He didn’t say anything for a moment, and you were afraid to meet his eyes. You were startled when he grabbed your hand, lacing his fingers with yours. “He’s a piece of shit, and I will gladly end his life if you want me to.” His red eyes were blazing, and you knew he was fully ready to make good on his threat if you said the word. 

You looked up at him, a small smile on your lips. “I appreciate that, but it’s okay.” Your heart was in your throat, and you felt your eyes watering. You knew Hitoshi was just being a jealous prick, but it still hurt your feelings.

“Fuck him. Don’t let him get to you.”

“I know, I won’t.” Somehow, Bakugou’s words made you feel better. “Can we just forget about him? I don’t want that to ruin our night. We have a date with some hobbits.”

He snorted. “Yeah, okay.” If he noticed your tears, he didn’t say anything. The Uber pulled up behind you and he pushed off the wall, his hand still gripping yours. “Come on, princess.”

—

It was nearly 9:30 by the time you got back to the dorms. You walked up the path from the road with Bakugou’s arm around your waist, your body pressed into his side while you walked.

You’d had a really good time despite the rocky start to your evening, thanks to Shinsou. But Katsuki had let it go, and you appreciated that he hadn’t let the purple-haired boy ruin your night. 

The movie had been great, and you’d been surprised when Bakugou had lifted the armrest between your seats and dragged you closer to him, letting you lean against him with his arm around your shoulder as you shared popcorn. You’d been half distracted by his warm palm against your arm, his fingers absentmindedly tracing patterns on your skin through the whole film.

You welcomed this new development, the feeling of his hand on your skin was comforting. It was a distinct contrast from his normal personality, and it made you soft for him. You never thought you’d see this side of him, and you were not complaining. 

After the movie, he’d taken you out for ramen as promised, and you’d giggled at him when he ordered his extra spicy, and he teased you when you got yours without any spice. You got to know more about each other, quietly swooning over the smirk on his face when he made you laugh.

Now you were back at school and dreading the moment you had to say good night. You didn’t want it to end.

“Do you...want to come back to my room?” His cheeks were dusted pink, and he almost looked shy. “I don’t want to go to bed yet.”

“Isn’t it past your bedtime?” You teased.

He growled. “Shut up, dumbass. Nevermind then.”

“No! No, I’m sorry, I was just kidding. I want to. I was just thinking about how I didn’t want the night to be over.” You leaned your head on his shoulder.

“Me either.” His voice was so quiet you almost didn’t hear it.

“What did you want to do?” You had a few ideas, and none of them were SFW.

He just grinned, holding the door open for you when you reached the dorm building. You walked into the common room, the both of you stopping to kick off your shoes. You looked up as everyone sitting on the couch turned their attention to the both of you.

Before they could start bombarding you with questions, Bakugou grabbed your hand. “Come on.” He started pulling you towards the elevators, ignoring Ashido yelling and whining from her spot on the couch.

“Sorry guys! We’ll talk later!” You called over your shoulder, nearly falling over when Bakugou tugged on your arm and pulled you into the open elevator. 

You braced yourself on his shoulders, looking up at him slowly as the door behind you closed. Your heart was jackhammering in your chest at your close proximity, and the warmth of his hands on your waist as he held you close made you dizzy. You licked your lips subconsciously, the nerves that had been simmering inside you nearly boiling over as you wondered if he was going to kiss you.

His cheeks were ruddy as he gazed at you, his fingers flexing against your hips. The dinging of the elevator reaching his floor ruined the moment, and he was pulling away from you too soon, clearing his throat. His fingers intertwined with yours again as you followed him out into the hallway, hoping that you could get back to what you were doing once you were in the safety of his bedroom.

When the door clicked shut behind him, you watched him fidget around the room, pulling his desk chair near the bed and opening up his laptop, sitting it on the seat. He sat on the edge of the mattress and looked up at you. “Are you going to stand there all night, or are you going to come over here?”

You moved over, sitting beside him, watching as he pressed the play button on some animated movie. “Is this Studio Ghibli?”

He grunted. “Background noise.” 

You blushed when you realized he didn’t plan on actually watching it. You met his eyes, feeling a chill roll down your spine when he smirked at you. The mood had shifted so suddenly, and it felt like he was less of the soft and hesitant boy at the movies, and more like the Bakugou you knew.

You weren’t complaining.

“Now, where were we?” His hands moved to your waist, tugging you forward. You rearranged your legs to straddle his lap, your back facing his laptop, your arms hanging over his shoulders.

You felt his warm breath, his nose trailing along your jaw. “Katsuki…”

“Hah?” He asked, his grip on your hips tightening. “Were you going to let me kiss you in the elevator?”

You hummed, nodding. The anticipation was killing you, and it was apparent that he could tell. You let your eyes flutter shut, licking your lips, waiting for him to do something.

You heard him chuckle, your hips rocking slightly against his lap causing the sound to be cut short as he sucked in a breath. “Impatient, huh princess?”

His usual nickname for you sent a shiver through you. “Katsuki, please.”

“Fuck, don’t beg. You don’t know what that does to me.” His lips were on yours before you could reply, needy and insistent. 

Kissing Bakugou was just what you’d always imagined it would be. He didn’t do anything half-assed, so you weren’t surprised by the passion behind it. Being this close to him was exhilarating. You could smell the faint scent of caramel on him when you breathed in, tilting your head slightly as he ran his tongue along your bottom lip. Your lips parted and he groaned, licking into your mouth as your hips rolled down against him again.

He pulled away, the two of you breathless. He didn’t go far, his lips trailing down your jaw and to your neck, nipping lightly as he went. You sighed when his hands moved from your hips, fingers drifting under the hem of your shirt and trailing lightly up your sides. You let your hands move to his hair, nails scratching lightly along his scalp and tugging at his soft locks as his teeth worried at the place where your neck and shoulder met. 

When he was satisfied with the blooming bruise on your skin, he pulled away to look you in the eye. Vermillion met Y/E/C with his usual serious expression. “I want you to know that I’m not just fucking around with you, you got that?”

Your eyes widened. “I-”

“No, listen to me, idiot. I don’t give a fuck about eyebags and his bullshit. I don’t want you to think I think like that bastard, understand?” His brows were furrowed and his voice was rough in a way that usually made your thighs clench. 

You ran your fingers through his hair again, pressing a little closer on his lap. “I know, Katsuki.”

His eyes fluttered closed and his hands settled on your hips when you scratched along his scalp before they snapped open again. “Good. Because if we do this, I’m not letting you go.” 

“I’m not going anywhere.” You assured him. Your heart was pounding and you couldn’t keep the smile off your face.

“If that purple-haired freak even looks at you again, I’m going to rip off his fucking face and feed it to Hound Dog.” His palms slid to settle on your ass, squeezing and pulling you to rock against the hardening bulge in his jeans.

You moaned softly, nodding again. You were so turned on you felt like you were going to come apart, and he’d barely even touched you. You briefly wondered if you had a voice kink, cause just listening to him talk was doing things to you. 

Sensing he was done talking, you leaned back slightly, grabbing the hem of your shirt and pulling it up and over your head, tossing the garment somewhere behind you. His eyes were glazed over with lust as he looked down at your bra covered chest. He dipped his head forward, tongue tracing the lace of the cup over the swell of your breast. You reached behind you and undid the clasp, gasping when he grabbed the offending object and pulled it down your arms and threw it aside. 

A blush rose over your body as he gazed at you hungrily, but your embarrassment was short-lived, immediately replaced with pleasure. He left a wet trail of kisses across the top of your breasts, his tongue laving over your nipple, hot breath turning cool as he blew over the hardening bud. You were panting, grinding rhythmically in his lap, seeking friction as he showered your chest with attention, switching to the other breast and giving it the same treatment. 

You pulled him up to kiss you again, hands moving to his back to grasp his t-shirt and tug on it. He got the hint, breaking the kiss to remove his shirt. You let your eyes drift over the absolute work of art that was his body, fingers trailing over his defined shoulders and biceps, and then back up across his collarbone. You leaned over to kiss along his neck, your nails trailing down his pecs and over his nipples, earning a low growl from the ash blonde. 

Strong arms moved around your waist as he picked you up off his lap and moved you over to lay down on the bed. He was hovering over you in a second, his forearms resting by your head as his lips met yours again, kissing and biting on your bottom lip. You keened, arching up into him, your hands in his hair and sliding down to the back of his neck to pull him closer.

His lips trailed away from yours, down your neck and chest, his hands moving as he slid down your body, his fingers deftly popping open the button on your jeans. He settled between your legs on his knees, pulling your skinny jean down your hips and thighs. You lifted your legs to help him, shivering when the cool temperature of the room settled over your bare skin. 

Fingers smoothed their way up your calf, his warm hands slid up the inside of your thighs. Your breath hitched when he spread your legs wider, tracing one finger over your clothed slit. The look in his eyes was positively feral when they met yours. “You’re fucking beautiful, you know that?” 

You sat up in response, hands moving to unbuckle his belt and unbutton his jeans. “And you’re wearing too many clothes, Katsuki.” You grinned up at him cheekily, making him chuckle.

He rolled his eyes, shuffling back off the bed to pull his jeans down his legs. Your gaze trailed over muscled thighs covered in light blonde hair, the black boxer briefs that hugged his thin waist, and the noticeable bulge of his cock that had your mouth watering.

He was back on you in a second, pressing you back against the mattress, lips ghosting over your heated skin as he ground his hips against yours. You moaned quietly, committing every touch to memory.

“You don’t know how long I’ve thought about this.” He murmured against your neck. When he pulled back to look down at you, his cheeks were pink with embarrassment at the confession. “Too fucking long.”

“Me too.” You didn’t want to say more, afraid too many words would ruin the moment.

His hand slid down, fingers trailing over the elastic band of your panties, before slipping underneath them. The calloused pads of his digits dipped through your folds, brushing over your clit and making you whine, back arching again. 

“Fuck, you’re wet, princess.” His forehead rested on your shoulder, and you felt him shiver against you. “I’m gonna make you feel so good.”

You didn’t doubt him for a second, your breath hitching when he moved his fingers lower, pressing one into your entrance. The digit curled inside you, and you clenched around it, your body craving more. He thrust in and out a few times, adding a second finger, his teeth sinking into your clavicle when you keened at the feeling. 

You felt like you were on fire, Bakugou’s warm breath ghosting over your skin as his fingers worked you over, his thumb pressing against your clit. You let the fingers of your left hand trail along his back, feeling his muscles ripple underneath your touch. Your right hand let go of the death grip you had on his sheets, crossing over your body to trace your fingers along the elastic band of his briefs, dangerously close to sliding underneath. 

Lifting his face from your neck, he licked his lips and removed his hand from your panties. You whined at the loss, pussy clenching around nothing. You pouted up at him, watching as he positioned himself between your thighs again, tugging your panties down and off. Warm palms slid up the outside of your legs, gripping your ass and lifting your lower half off the bed.

He leaned forward, kissing up the soft skin of your inner thigh, teeth nibbling as he went. Your breathing was shallow, anticipation crawling through you, and you shut your eyes, waiting for what you knew was coming next. 

His tongue licked a stripe from your entrance to your clit, and you moaned, body arching from the bed. He hummed as he repeated the motion, the lewd sounds of slurping filling the room, nearly drowning out your gasps and the sound of the movie still playing on his laptop beside you. He kept you lifted up with one hand, the other snaking between your legs, his fingers finding their home inside you as he sucked on your bundle of nerves.

“Katsuki, fuck.” Panting, your hand moving to rest on the back of his head, your hips rolling into his face as you climbed higher and higher towards your impending release. You felt him smile against you, two fingers leaving you, replaced by three. He expertly scissored them, stretching you out, your body sucking him in deeper as you gushed around his digits. 

“Gonna cum for me?” He peered up at you from between your legs. His voice was wrecked already, your eyes rolling back at the sound. You managed to nod meekly, tugging on his hair and trying to get him back to where you needed him most.

He complied, sucking on your clit hard, pushing you over the edge. You cried out, body shaking in his hold and stars exploding behind your eyelids, his tongue flicking over you again and again, helping you ride out your orgasm.

When you’d calmed, he pulled back, kissing your inner thighs again, waiting for you to catch your breath. He lowered you back down slowly, rubbing his hands up and down your legs. You opened your eyes, grinning up at him lazily.

“You good?” His arm came up to wipe the wetness from his mouth and chin, a smirk on his lips when you nodded.

You cleared your throat. “So good.” You sat up on your elbows, watching him stand again and shove his briefs down his legs. Your eyes widened slightly at his size, appreciating his body quietly. He was an adonis, and you wanted to trace over every inch of his body with your fingers and tongue. 

He didn’t give you a chance, crawling back towards you. You spread your legs wider to accommodate him. “Do I need to grab a condom?”

“I’m on the pill.” You appreciated him asking, most guys would have just gone for it, thinking that this type of conversation was a mood killer. “Don’t worry.”

“Oh, thank god.” Palms flat against the pillow beside your head, he bent forward and kissed you. You could still taste yourself on his lips, your hand cupping the back of his neck to pull him closer. You were practically vibrating, needing more of him, knowing you’d probably never get enough.

Leaning his weight on one hand, he sat back and used the other to guide himself to your entrance. Your hips rocked up toward him, impatient to feel him filling you up once more. He slid inside you slowly, letting your body get acclimated to his size. He was huge, but the stretch was delicious, burning pain giving way to pleasure as he pushed himself deeper.

Your nails dug into his shoulders when he settled over you again, your breathing ragged as you closed your eyes. He was petting your hair soothingly, moving slowly, his lips trailing along your jaw. When he bottomed out inside of you he paused, and you knew he was waiting for you.

Taking a deep breath, you wiggled your hips, clenching around him. He made a punched out noise when you did, his hand rubbing along your side freezing. He was being so patient with you, but you were ready. “Suki, move. Please.”

With one hand on your hip for leverage, he pulled back, thrusting forward in one fluid motion until he was filling you again, his pace slow and steady. Every time his hips met yours you mewled, overwhelmed with the feeling of his cock pulsing inside you. He was muttering curses against your lips, his hand in your hair, thumb pressed against the side of your neck. 

The scent of burnt sugar wafted over you, and you readjusted your legs higher around his waist, the new angle causing him to grunt. He felt so good, so warm, your body was alight and you were desperate for more.

Your moans and mumbled pleas of faster and harder were answered with a smirk, the boy between your thighs raising himself up to his knees and lifting one of your legs onto his shoulder. Large hands held your hips firmly in place as he slammed himself inside, tip kissing your cervix as you arched up in pleasure. He picked up speed, the sound of skin slapping skin filling your ears as you bit down on your bottom lip, focusing on the feeling of him filling you up just like you’d always wanted.

“Fuck Princess, you’re so tight.” He turned his head to kiss your calf, and you couldn’t help but purr at how attractive he looked in that moment, skin shining with perspiration as he fucked into you. “Taking my cock so well.”

“Katsuki, shit, you feel so good.” Your hands slid over your own body, fingers tweaking at your nipples. He was watching you intently, his tongue darting out to lick along his plush pink lips. He adjusted your leg, pushing it up and toward you so he could lean down and press his lips to yours. You breath mingled when he pulled back to brush his nose against yours. “Hey, let me ride you.”

He stopped moving, lips curling into a smirk. “Hah? You want to be on top, princess?”

Humming, you moved your leg back to the bed, leaning up on your elbows. He slid out of you, moving to lay beside you. You willed your body to move, your legs shaking as you threw one over him and hoisted yourself up to straddle his hips. Wasting no time, you gripped his cock, lifting onto your knees and lining him up, sliding down on his length. His hands gripped your hips, your palms resting on his abs as you rocked forward. You moaned in tandem, doing your best to rut against him, alternating with lifting yourself slightly and rocking, dragging your nails from his stomach and up his chest, leaving red lines across his tanned skin.

Katsuki threw his head back, eyes closed, his bottom lip between his teeth. He looked so pretty like this, his skin flushed and chest heaving, hair mussed from your hands running through it. You leaned forward, dragging your lips along his sharp jaw, breathing in the scent of caramel. Briefly, you wondered how angry he would be if you left a mark on his neck where everyone else could see it.

He chose that moment to tighten his hands around your hips, holding you steady as he bucked up into you, forcing you to sit up, your back arching in pleasure. The muscles in your legs burned from exertion, but you kept moving, bouncing on his cock and clenching around him. You knew you’d be sore the next day but felt too good to stop.

One of his hands moved from your hip, fingers trailing across your skin to dip between your thighs, one calloused finger pressing against your clit. Gasping, you moaned his name lowly, your head falling back as you felt your body preparing to throw you over the edge again. “Oh fuck, I’m close.” Voice trembling, you held your breath, letting your eyes close.

He sat up suddenly, his fingers moving faster, his chest pressed against yours. Your hands traveled up and over his shoulders, fingers carding through his soft hair as he pressed kisses to your collarbones. His breath was warm as he spoke, his rough voice as he whispered into your ear, coaxing you over the edge.

You clenched around him, eyes rolling back as you came, his hands gasping your hips as he slammed up into you, chasing his high. Your toes curled as you rode out your orgasm, nails digging into the pale flesh of his back as you tried to keep yourself tethered to him, feeling as though you might float away, his name shuddering from your parted lips.

Groaning lowly in your ear, he came right after, hips stuttering, his head falling to press against your shoulder. Your heart was slamming in your ribcage, breathing labored and skin sticky with sweat, but you couldn’t stop yourself from smiling. Bakugou’s hands were rubbing your back absently, his lips pressing kisses against your neck. 

Lying back with you still in his arms, you giggled quietly, moving yourself off to lie beside him, thighs aching and sticky with the mixture of your release. You watched him, studying the flush on his cheeks, the tiny freckles dotted across his nose that you’d never noticed before, never getting the chance to be close enough to see them. 

His tongue peeked out to wet his lips as he brought his hand up to push a piece of unruly hair away from your face. “You okay?”

You hummed, nodding. “Better than okay.” Your eyes fluttered shut as his thumb brushed over your cheek, fingers tucked in the hair behind your ear as he pulled you towards him to kiss your lips.

“Stay here tonight?” His voice was raspy when he asked, bottom lip tucked between his teeth. He looked so soft and vulnerable at that moment, almost like he was afraid you would say no.

Katsuki Bakugou was never timid or quiet or afraid of anything. You worried for a moment you might have broken him. Too tired to move or tease him, you smiled. “I told you I wasn’t going anywhere, Katsuki.”

---

Lunch was, once again, a rowdy affair. The girls sat around you, as usual, chattering and laughing. Everything was normal. Everything except for the fact that Ashido was staring you down, her elbow on the table, hand propping up her head.

You looked up from the math homework you were desperately trying to finish, meeting her eyes. “Is there something on my face, Ashido?”

“No, I’m just trying to figure it out.” She replied, looking at you incredulously. 

Puzzled, you frowned. “Figure what out?”

“How you did it.”

Before you could ask her what she meant by that, you felt a warm palm on your shoulder, and you turned to look into the ruby eyes of your boyfriend. He was holding out a bento box to you, his mouth in a tight line.

“Oh, thanks, Katsu. You didn’t have to.” You smiled up at him, taking the food from his outstretched hand.

“Don’t skip lunch, idiot. Eat it.” One of his eyebrows raised, as if daring you to challenge him.

You were hungry, so you didn’t, just nodding at him. He grunted and ruffled your hair before turning and walking towards his regular table, plopping down next to Kirishima and opening his own bento.

Moving your homework aside, you pulled the chopsticks off the top where he’d taped them to the lid and opened it, smiling down at the homemade meal. 

“That’s exactly what I’m talking about!” Ashido cried, and you looked up to see her wide-eyed, pointing at your food. “Since when does Bakugou do anything remotely like that for anyone?”

Hagakure squealed. “It’s so cute! Did he make it himself?”

Nodding, you shoveled some rice into your mouth. He was such a good cook, everything he made was always delicious, and it was definitely a perk of dating him. 

“Well, Ashido, when you’re dating someone, it’s not uncommon for them to bring you gifts.” Jirou chuckled, elbowing her friend. “They’ve been together for a few weeks now.”

“She called him Katsu…” Ashido continued. “Anyone else would have gotten a Howitzer to the face!”

Furrowing your brows, you blinked at her. “He’s my boyfriend, Ashido.”

Throwing her head back, she groaned. “I know I’m just saying, it’s so weird to see him acting so...domestic. I’m just wondering if you have like...a magic pussy or something.”

The entire table grew silent, the group of you staring at her in disbelief. 

“What did I just walk into?” A deep voice questioned behind you.

Turning in your seat, you saw Shinsou standing there, his hands in his pockets and his eyebrows raised. “Shinsou…”

“Can we talk for a second?” He looked nervous, and a little guilty. You cleared your throat, nodding as you stood up.

You could feel eyes on you from across the room, so you turned and looked over at Katsuki. He was standing up at his place at the table, brow furrowed and fists clenched at his sides. Kirishima was looking from him to you worriedly, his hand on your boyfriend’s forearm. Locking eyes with Katsuki, you smiled at him, shaking your head, mouthing at him that it was okay.

He didn’t look happy, but you watched as he sat back down, his glare trained on the purple-haired boy waiting to speak with you. You led Shinsou over to lean on the wall away from everyone, glancing up at him and waiting for him to speak.

“Look, Y/N, I just wanted to apologize to you again. I know my last attempt was kind of negated by what I said to Bakugou afterward and I feel like an asshole. You didn’t deserve that.” He slumped against the wall and sighed. “You and I were always friends before any of that other stuff, and I don’t want to lose that.”

You blinked up at him, biting your lip in thought. He was right, you had always been great friends, even before you started sleeping together. You knew he hadn’t meant what he said, but it still hurt you, and you didn’t know how to go back to the way it had been before. “I don’t know, Hitoshi.”

His brows furrowed when you used his real name. “Hey, listen. I’ll do whatever it takes. You just...take all the time you need. I’ll be here when you’re ready, okay?”

“I appreciate you apologizing, though. I accept it, I’m just not sure what to do from here. Our relationship has always been a little unconventional, and I’ve got Bakugou now…” Your gaze cut over to your boyfriend, his eyes still glued to Shinsou, a scowl on his face.

“I’m surprised he didn’t leap over the table and attack me when I came up to you.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “He’s kind of...feral.”

Snorting, you shook your head. “He trusts me. He’s not a bad guy, I tried to tell you.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll see you later then, Kitten. You know my number.” He smiled at you, bumping his shoulder against yours before walking away. 

Letting out a breath you didn’t know you were holding, you walked back over to your table and sat down, picking up your chopsticks again.

“Man, who is that pod person sitting there pretending to be Bakugou?” Ashido continued her rant from earlier, Shinsou’s visit and Bakugou’s subdued reaction adding more ammunition to her argument. “Normally he would have shoved his foot in Todoroki’s cold soba trying to get his hands on Shinsou.”

Shrugging, you glanced up at her, and then over to Katsuki, who was eating his rice moodily, his forehead creased. “He knows I can take care of myself.” 

“I swear to god,” Ashido sighed. “Aliens.”

She decided to leave it at that, the rest of your table giggling at her. You knew she was right though, Katsuki normally would have made good on his promise to rip off Hitoshi’s face. You had spoken to him about it a few nights before, however, and he respected your wish to handle it yourself. Even if he did grumble about it afterward.

When you’d finished your lunch, you packed up the bento in your bag along with the math homework you were never going to finish and stood up. Saying goodbye to your friends, you walked over to the boy’s table, leaning on the end of it. “Gentlemen.”

Todoroki nodded at you over his soba, slurping up the noodles on his chopsticks.

“Y/N, baby, how are you?” Kaminari asked, wiggling his eyebrows. You rolled your eyes, smiling when you saw him jolt, hissing in pain, and slumping over. “Bakubro, that was my shin!”

“Serves you right,” Your explosive blonde grumbled, crossing his arms across his chest. “Show some respect, dunce face.”

“Yeah, you can’t hit on her anymore, dude.” Sero pointed out before he turned back to you and smiled. “Hi, Y/N.”

Kirishima grinned at you. “Bakugou, that’s so manly. Defending your girl’s honor.”

“Tch.” Katsuki stood up, slinging his backpack over his shoulder and ignoring his friends. He turned his attention to you. “Did you finish your math?”

Smiling sheepishly, you grabbed his hand. “Nope. Come help me?”

He let out an exasperated sigh, his arm sliding around your waist as you walked together. “Maybe.” Smirking down at you, his fingers squeezed your hip. “What’s in it for me?” 

“My endless love and affection?” You pouted, batting your lashes up at him.

He shook his head. “I have that anyways, don’t I, Princess?”

You didn’t want to admit it, but he was right. 

[holy-guacamoly]

Helloo!! Congratulations on getting 200 followers!! Thats a great achievemen and I hope more follow you [you freaking deserve it!!] Aight, I hope you don’t mind me participating in the event and no rush please! Take your time on this request!! Okay, here we go!

Fav character?: Erwin Smith Pronouns: She / her Name: Kayte or Arri or Noonie (Friends call me Kayte or Noonie / Close friends call me Arri or Noonie or Kaytie!)

Hobbies and interest: I really love studying!! Especially when it’s in the mornings or evenings with coffee and then tea at night! I play the piano as well as skilled in archery. My fingers do lot a work aha. Drawing, reading and writing are also my hobbies!! I am a fan of BTS but I am not obsessed. I have a thing for cola and coffee :p I love my jacket…i feel anxious without it sometimes. Cooking!! I love rain and playing in it. Studying or reading or playing the piano when raining makes me feel soo comfortable. Inwould snuggle in my blanket with tea when its cold during rain, relaxation~~ MUSIC I love it. Fav genres? All except any type of country, I can’t vibe with it. Personal favs are classical and rock.

My personality:

I am independent, smart, stubborn, witty, very curious, brutally honest (when needed) and I have a bit of an anger issue but I am very chill most of the time tho. I can be very serious and quiet, depends on the situation. I am scary when I am quiet, I have been told due to my RBF lol. If you anger me ‘secretly’, I will not talk to you to give you a hint. Oh and I can be gullible. The level of my independent-ness can get to “oh i do not need help in handling 5 group assignments“ level. Trust me, it happened once. I am apathetic towards how people think and treat me, It can get to a point I do not care for myself sometimes. Dont worry! I have friends helping me with the problem ^^ BUT, i am very caring if others. I can treat you like my child even if we just met. I will comfort anyone. Fun fact: My studying can go on until 3 am or more…everyday

Okeyh, thats all!! Right, if you do not mind, I am requesting for both SFW and it’s opposite. Thank you in advance for doing this!! I really appreciateit and this is my first time requesting something like this >w< Take care and have a great day!!!

Hey hun! Thank you so so much! <3 Guuurl, when I read about your personality I was like same?! Also, the caffeinated beverage part hit my soul. Thank you for your detailed description it makes writing so much easier. ♥ Erwin is constantly so proud of you! Ambition, kindness and your overall skill level are traits your boyfriend adores. As a very ambitious man himself, Erwin needs a badass woman by his side. ♥ Your man does this little gesture, where he secretly fills up your coke or coffee stock, without you noticing at first. He wants to reward you for your hard work. :( ♥ Rainy days with Erwin Smith are a motherfucking dream! I feel like he builds blanket forts for you, with fairy lights and tons of cozy pillows inside. You show him the newest music you are into, while he talks about some literature he recently read. Between exciting conversations, you are always in for a good make-out session. The tea you prepared often gets cold because you are just so caught up in the moment. ♥ Erwin is the CEO of reminding you to chill tf out. He hates to see you stressed or not caring enough for yourself. Your man did a lot of research about relaxation techniques, so he can do them with you. Also has a supply of emergency face masks at home to give you a little spa experience during wild times. If you fall asleep on your desk after another allnighter he carries you to your shared bed and wraps you in a little blanket burrito. <3 ♥ One word: Gentlemen. Erwin has a thing for kissing the back of your hand or just putting gentle kisses on your cheek when he greets you. It's a little cheesy, but who can deny this beautiful man? "Arri, you look breathtaking," Erwin whispers against your skin as he pulls you a little closer. An inaudible gasp escapes your lips. "I am such a lucky man." ♥ The two of you often play the piano together. Especially during stormy evenings, you love to light the fireplace and get lost in the music. Sometimes Erwin starts to sing even though it sounds horrible. :') "And after all this time, I'm still into you〜" Erwin screams at the top of his lungs as you play the piano. Your eyes dare to roll back into your skull and you stop abruptly. "Honey, I love you. But you need to stop with that noise you call singing. The neighbors asked if we adopted a dying cat from the shelter," you huff, but give your boyfriend a playful nudge. "I can't help but sing all kinds of stupid love songs to you," he answers. Your whole expression changes from annoyed to genuinely delighted. "Erwin Smith, you are a hopeless romantic." ♥ Since your first encounter, Erwin wanted to marry you. He never pushes you to any decision but he just loves to imagine a domestic life with you. Often refers to you as "wife". You lean against the doorframe, scanning your boyfriend who is still on the phone. He on the other hand doesn't seem to notice you. "Yeah, gotta hang up now. I have to run errands with my wife. Bye." "Oh, did I miss something? Who is your wife?" you ask teasingly. Erwin turns around, not an inkling of shame on his face. "You, of course, stupid." ♥ Your oldie is so confused about BTS. Like why are they so popular? Why do people these days seem to like them? He just doesn't get the concept lmao. Also gets a little angry whenever you try to explain the hype and he still doesn't understand. Poor baby. :( NSFW ♥ He loves to mark you. Everyone needs to know your his. Gives you hickeys on your shoulders and neck. Erwin especially likes how you get flustered by explaining them to your friends and co-workers. Develops a breeding kink over time, because that is the ultimate way to show others you are his. He isn't seriously trying to get you pregnant but loves to talk dirty about it. ♥ Gets feral when you address him with Sir. He is such a gentle Dom and spoils you rotten in the bedroom. Plays with your clit for hours, using every toy you want if you just beg enough. "You were such a good girl today," Erwin muses. His fingers wander over your body like feathers, causing your brain to send shivers down your spine. "I think you deserve a treat. Don't you too, princess?" All you can do is nod eagerly. "So what shall it be, baby girl? The womanizer or your favorite dildo?" ♥ Is into bondage and very skilled at it. Erwin sees it as an art form and you are his most delicate work. Loves to squeeze your tits between the tights knots of the ropes he uses. ♥ Doggystyle is everything for you both. It has something so animalistic that it makes your head spin. "Fuck, Erwin, pull my hair!" you exclaim, your voice higher pitched than usual. "Fucking use me, Sir!" And that was enough to make Erwin Smith lose his mind. In conclusion: Like I said, you are Erwin Smith's wife. He takes care of you and you take care of him. There is nothing but love.

[shespeaksinsongs]

You Are My New Fear | Letters To My Mom

TW: MOMMY ISSUES, MENTIONS OF DEPRESSION, SUICIDE, AND ANXIETY.

Me in my game room at about five years old.

I wish somebody would have told me that that smile I used to slather onto my face so effortlessly would soon become something I forced. I'm not sure if it would have made a difference, but it's best to be prepared in any case.

-

"What's your biggest fear?" My elementary best friend asked, kicking her feet giddily under the table. We were still too little to reach the floor.

"Drowning." I'd say, with a panicked look on my face, growing pale at the mere thought of dying that way.

-

"What are you most afraid of, hija?" My dad asked on our regular morning car rides to school.

"Drowning." I'd say, without even thinking twice. The answer was almost prepared, seeing as how casually it rolled off my tongue.

-

"What's your biggest fear?" My friend asked in the comfort of her room, watching as I shifted uncomfortably in my spot on her bed.

"Becoming my mother." I'd say wishing that drowning was the most of my worries.

-

I don't know when my default answer of drowning to death switched to the terrifying idea that I would, one day, become my mother. Still, somewhere along the lines, those little moments that I would suck up to my mom and gift her pretty pictures I spent hours working on and picking daisies from my backyard for her turned into scheduling my crying for nighttime when everyone was asleep.

Slowly but surely, I became uneasy about the idea of marriage, fearing that I'd only ruin it and become a wife like my mother. The idea of having children scared me to the point where I felt I would rather sacrifice my own happiness so that my children wouldn't have to live to see the day I turn into my mom.

Because in my eyes, my mom is a monster. She's not the kind of monster that has big, sharp teeth and scary yellow eyes, and a menacing growl. She's the kind of monster that you would never suspect. She's the bloody hand, but you were the accomplice. She was the screwdriver, but you were the loose screw. Sure, she hurt you, but you let yourself be hurt by her - so really, whose fault was it?

My mom is the kind of monster that uses your vulnerability against you in the worst way possible.

-

"I'm just not feeling good right now. I feel like I'm dying, and I feel tired all the time." My sixth-grade self, awkwardly positioned in the passenger's seat, turning my head away from my mom.

"Well, you know we care about you." My mom said, stoic in her demeanor and ultimately still in how she held her body up.

It was a day I'll never forget. She picked at her fingernails and anxiously tapped the gas pedal, waiting for me to be done talking about my emotions so she could drive back "home."

Warm tears stung my eyes, forcing their way down my face in slow streams. "You don't get it, I-" I stopped, knowing it wasn't worth it to try to make my mom understand feelings she'd been adamant didn't exist.

"Ay, don't be so dramatic." My mom said, waving her hand up to dismiss me and my silly ideas. She was right. I wasn't depressed or anxious, and I definitely didn't look for any excuse possible to threaten suicide against myself. My mom said so.

-

I don't know why I kept running back to her in times of need. Maybe it was my dream version of her that I relied on to justify my ever-growing love for her. Feasibly, it was the person I wanted her to be. And perhaps, just perhaps, my expectations of her drove me to the point where I'd convinced myself my mother was the person I saw when I closed my eyes at night.

I remember telling her things, spreading rumors I'd heard about people in the family, hoping that it would make us closer. The things I did just to make her happy...

-

"Mom, I'm trying my best!" I cried on the floor, cleaning up the mess my new puppy had made. She'd pooped and peed all over the kitchen. I was exhausted, previously knocked out in my bed, when my mom called me downstairs, screaming for me to get my ass down there.

"No, you're not! You never try! You're useless! I should've never had you!" My mom yelled from the bottom of her heart (or lack thereof).

Tears welled in my eyes for the millionth time because of my mother. This wasn't the first time she'd wished me dead, and it sure wouldn't be the last time. "Mommy, please just leave me alone and let me clean up." I begged, letting broken sobs come out of my mouth. I wanted to hurt her, and I wanted to hurt her as bad as she hurt me.

My mom refused to leave, yelling at me, watching as I piteously scraped my dog's contents off the wall.

-

It's sad that the only good memories I have of my mom are those I couldn't participate in. Instead, I have stories of her youth and how caring of a mother she used to be when I was a baby - conveniently so far back that I can't remember it. It pains me more knowing how she was before she had me, her firstborn. If she were this way her whole life, would I take it so personally?

Am I dramatic for wishing I had a mother who could hug me back when I hugged her? Am I a selfish and pathetic bitch for feeling envy when I see how my friends' moms act with them? Why can't my mom love me the way she loves her? Why does my mom have more pictures of her first niece than she does of me? What did I do to her?

-

"Mommy, mommy! Look!" I said, running up to my mother, holding my report card in the air like a shiny new toy - all A's.

"Nice job, Fio. I'm so proud of you. You're doing great. Keep it up." My mom said softly, pulling me into a warm hug. Somehow, that was all I needed - that's all I wanted. It really is a shame that that memory is fake.

-

I have plenty of other fake memories that I store in my head, letting the (also fake) backstories take over my mind when I go to sleep. For one of them, I was romping around on an old swing set, one that made little squeaky noises whenever I swung too high.

Somehow, I lose control of the swing, and my mom comes rushing up to me, worried and begging for me to tell her how she could help. I don't know when or how she got there (my dad was usually the one to take me to the park), but what I do know is she's exactly who I needed there at that moment.

So many real memories I have of me needing my mother most, waiting for the day she would actually turn up in one of them. She was always the first to pick me up in school lines. She was always at my open houses. She attended every grade promotion I had. But she was never there. It was all a facade. She'd said so herself that she craved being the all-star mom, the one who'd win several gold medals if there were award ceremonies for that sort of thing.

Her perfectionism is what makes her corrupt. She has spent my entire life telling me what to do, how to do it, scolding me for not doing it the way she imagined me doing it in her head.

She refused to seek help when that's all I wanted her to do.

-

"What do you want for your birthday, hija?" My dad asked, glancing at me while keeping his eyes fixed on the road, humming along to a Christmas carol playing on the radio.

"Honestly, dad?" I asked, only twelve years old, my green eyes twinkling in hope.

"Whatever your heart desires." My dad said in a goofy voice, making me smile.

"I want Mom to get help." I said sadly, hoping my dad would agree and push the idea upon my mom.

-

My mother went to therapy for four months. My dad had to pay her every session for her to go. In my mom's life, money has never been an obstacle. Her father was a middle-high class socialite in Venezuela who worked in engineering and oil companies. Her mother, who passed away of Leukemia when she was twelve, spoiled her rotten until her very last breath.

Eventually, I became mentally sick to the core. Writing and singing, my two favorite things in the world, became hobbies, and life had lost its zesty twang. Little things like music and the people I passed on the street that waved "hello" at me became nuisances. My mom "gave up" her therapy so I could get help.

I still wonder if she did it for herself or for me.

-

A few times a year, I get asked what my biggest fear is. Sometimes it comes up in conversation. Other times I create the question, not thinking about the consequences if people answer with "Spiders, yours?"

Each time I get asked, I take a deep breath and lie. "The dark." I say now, the idea of death by sea sounding more of tranquility than a travesty.

I look back at the old pictures I have of myself, a smiley and shy little girl who was afraid of nothing and everything at the same time. To her, I ask, "When you have nothing to lose, why be afraid?"

Me, with my baby doll at age three. I loved taking care of her. I used to take her everywhere with me.

[keanureevesisbae]

The Tran-Cavill Grandkids

Henry = 79 / Olivia = 70 / Vanessa = 47 / Elodie = 40 / Heather and Chloe are 36

Olivia: We have 8 grandchildren. It has been sixteen years since I first became a grandmother, but I still have to get used to it.

Henry: I love being a granddad. I love everything about it, especially when they all come over and we have seventeen people over.

Oliver (16)

Olivia: Oliver is Chloe’s and Joon Ki’s first son and our oldest grandson. Chloe was still in college and scared out of her mind when she found out she was pregnant. I stayed over in her dorm from her twenty fifth week of pregnancy to the thirtieth, since poor thing was suffering from a lot of panic attacks and because of their different schedules, Joon Ki and her friends couldn’t be there for her. I forgot how disgusting those dorms were. After that, she took online classes, because she was really fatigued and uncomfortable. She stayed at our place again up until the birth.

Henry: When Oliver was born, my life stopped for a moment. I was officially a granddad. I mean, I always knew I wanted to become a father, but a granddad… I never really thought that far into the future. But Oliver is such a wonderful young man. Takes his job as the oldest grandchild very seriously.

Olivia: He comes over a lot, since our house is on the route when he goes home after school. He helps us with some chores or just comes over to drink some tea with us. Oliver even offers to do groceries for us every Saturday.

Dylan (14)

Henry: Dylan is Vanessa’s and Trey’s first son. We were delighted that we were going to be grandparents of two boys. However, it was pretty hard for Vanessa and that absolutely broke my heart. My poor girl was in a lot of pain and discomfort and there was nothing I could do about it.

Olivia: Vanessa became dehydrated pretty early on in her pregnancy, forcing her to quit her job. I actually quit my job too, because I realized that I needed to be there for her. 

Henry: Finally, after all those years of her saying that just because I am rich, doesn’t mean she should stop working. 

Olivia: Anyways, my poor baby was really out of it and I moved in with her and Trey for a while, because they obviously needed to prepare a lot for the arrival of their little boy. So Henry and Trey decorated the entire nursery, while Vanessa and I tried to come up with a birth plan, me telling her about the whole giving birth thing and how scary it can be. We even went to a few therapy sessions, simply to put her mind at ease.

Henry: However, Dylan was born ten weeks too early and it was a trying time for all of us. We spend so much time in the NICU. Thankfully the entire family stepped in to help Vanessa and Trey out. Dylan was a pretty weak baby, also really tiny and had troubles eating. Though he was sick and tired pretty often, he grew out to be such an amazing kid, who understands the limits he has and despite that, still manages to participate in certain sports. We are so proud of him. 

Megan (9)

Olivia: It took five years before Vanessa got pregnant again and thankfully this pregnancy was easier on her. We were so excited when we found out she was pregnant with a little girl! Our first granddaughter. Megan is such a bright young lady. When she was four, she saw a picture of Henry having a tea parties with her aunts when they were around her age. The next time she came over, she brought a dress and her cups and saucers and forced Henry to partake. 

Henry: I thought those days were over, but I’m a push over and I couldn’t say no to her. Megan is such a happy go lucky kid, with the most infectious giggle. I remember when she was a baby, she started to giggle and didn’t stop. Nowadays, she can just stare at you, before bursting out in a fit of giggles. She also forces me to dance with her, but thankfully every Tran-Cavill girl tells her that it’s for the best that I don’t dance.

Jake (8)

Henry: Jake is Chloe’s second second and that is one special kid. He was already dancing in the womb, according to the sonographer. I think he was only two months when I was playing some music in the background and Jake was in his seat. He started to move his arms right on the beat!

Olivia: He is now going to dance classes and I have to say: that kid knows how dance. He can appear to be a bit more introverted, isn’t really in your face when they come over to visit. All in all, he is a pretty timid kid, but the second he hears music or is on a stage, he dances his heart out. So amazingly talented! When he visits, he always gives us little previews of the dances he taught in class. 

Kiki (4)

Henry: Heather was never the type of woman that dated. She was always more focused on her own career. It did shock me when she told us that she got pregnant and that she had to tell her boyfriend about it, since we all had no clue that she was even dating someone. Not even her own twin sister knew! 

Olivia: What a fucking doorknob that guy was. Heather wanted me to join her, when she would tell this Tom dude she was pregnant. Turns out she really is a daughter of mine, because she found herself a man that is the spitting image of Wesley, appearance wise and personality wise. He got so mad when she told him and even had the audacity to tell Heather that she got knocked up by someone else. He really wasn’t hiding the fact that he was an idiot, because he told my sweet Heather all that, when I was right next to her! Long story short, I broke them up, slapped Tom in the face and threatened to kill him if he ever sought out to her or the baby.

Henry: That’s my girl.

Olivia: But Heather is a real trooper and manages to take care of Kiki just fine. Thankfully we love her dearly and didn’t kick her out, because she got pregnant out of wedlock (like my parents and brothers did). We are the go to baby sitter for Kiki and it’s so much fun to pick her up from school. It reminds me of the times that we would pick up our own girls from school.

Henry: Kiki is such a happy go lucky little girl. She is a ray of sunshine and we are so lucky and grateful that she is in our lives and that that idiot Tom is not. I fear the day that I run into him, because I will throw him in front of a bus. Accidentally of course.

Olivia: Henry, honey, remember: you’re nearing the ripe age of eighty. What if you break a hip or your wrist?

Lewis (14)

Olivia: So, Katie, Elodie’s wife, used to teach English in Secondary school, but after she lost her job, since her school had to close, she became a substitute for three months at another school. That’s where she met nine year old Lewis. According to her, he was a shy kid, but every day after school, he’d linger around the classroom and talked to Katie. He would help her out with cleaning up, make his homework and often they would walk out of the school together.

Henry: Unfortunately she had to leave after three months and according to her, it was pretty hard leaving Lewis. Two weeks after she left the school, she got a call in the middle of the night. The principal of that school informed her that Lewis was removed from his home by the police. The neighbors called it in, since they heard the abuse going on. Later on, it turned out that Lewis was the victim of abuse on a daily basis. He lingered in Katie’s class room to postpone the moment of going home to his father. He was in desperate need of someone who would take him into emergency foster care.

Olivia: However the only person he wanted to stay with, was Katie, so she and Elodie took him in. It was supposed to be for a week, but a week turned into a month and after a nasty trial, they officially adopted Lewis on his tenth birthday!

Henry: I remember him coming over for the first time. Maybe it was a bit mean to let him meet everyone at once, but despite his nerves, he managed quite well. Now we know Lewis as such a hardworking young man, who desperately tries to help others and makes sure that they can reach their full potential.  

Stella (8)

Olivia: Elodie and Katie got into foster care a whole lot more seriously after they adopted Lewis and three years ago, they had to foster Stella, who had lost both of her parents in a tragic accident and there wasn’t anyone that could care for her. I remember Elodie and Katie having a bit of trouble with Stella, because she would lock herself up in her room and not talk to anyone.

Henry: It was hard, but Lewis swooped right in and the two of them had such long conversations. I think it was because of him that Stella opened up to her moms, but also to the rest of the family. She and Lewis are definitely partners in crime. She is quite something. Very mischievous and sneaky. She loves to scare people, hiding behind doors, but she doesn’t do it to us (thankfully), because she is afraid will scare ourselves a heart attack. So considerate. 

Olivia: In a lot of ways she reminds me of Vanessa. She is very eloquent and uses fancy words to throw you off guard. I love taking her out with me, because, just like Vanessa, she “whispers" something to you (most likely she’s gossiping), but the people she is talking about, can always hear it. I know I shouldn’t condone this, but I love the faces of the people when they hear Stella say: ‘Grandma, why is that woman wearing those shoes? The straps are too tight. She looks like a ham.’

Henry: You allow that? You should discipline her.

Olivia: I have been raising kids since I was twenty three and I always made sure to discipline them. Now that I’m a grandma, I can let it slide for a few times.

Charlotte (2)

Henry: And last but not least, little Charlotte. They fostered her since she was a year and officially adopted her six months ago. We don’t know exactly what happened to her, since she was abandoned at around nine months. No one actually knows what her exact age is, let alone her birthday. 

Olivia: It’s such a shame that something this horrendous could happen to such a precious little bean. She is, despite the things that happened to her, a lovely young girl, who kind of reminds me a lot of Elodie. A bit shy, a bit quiet and not a smiler.

Henry: Definitely not a smiler to strangers at all, but when she does… She’s so precious. Lewis and Stella are really good with her as well. These two were made to be older siblings. I can’t wait to see what kind of girl Charlotte becomes!

◎◎◎

Olivia: We are so blessed with our beautiful grandchildren and it’s my goal to become at least a hundred years old, so I can see every single one of them at least graduate!

Henry: And I want to hold my great-grandchild, so yeah, I agree, my love. We should become at least a hundred years old.

Taglist: @thelastsock​ // @flhorah​ // @sausagefest1996​ // @laufeysodinson​ // @xxxkatxo​ // @memoriesat30​ // @henrythickcavill​ // @crimsonrae​ // @henryobsessed // @madbaddic7ed​ // @summersong69​ // @lyrafraiser​ // @peakygroupie​ // @coldmuffinbanditshoe​ // @mary-ann84​ // @thereisa8ella​ //@crazyandanonymous4u // @xuxszx​ // @emmaofgreengabbles​ // @jimmypagesandbrianmayshair​ // @onlyhenrys // @omgkatinka​ // @oddsnendsfanfics​ // @speakerforthedead0 // @agniavateira // @gearhead66 // @chamomilebottom // @diegos-butt // @yoyoanaria // 

[beck-a-leck]

13, 17 & 23 for the writing ask meme!

Thank you for the questions!!

13. Do you prefer writing multi-chapter fics or oneshots? Do you prefer reading multi-chapter fics or oneshots?

Both? Both. Both is good.

I'm not sure if I really have a preference for writing. it really depends on the idea and how long I think it will take to complete (and/or how excited I am to start sharing it) Oneshots are nice because I get the idea, I write them, I post them, I'm done. And they work great for simpler stories or ones I can tell in 10k words or less. Or if they get a bit long and I have a good place to take a break, I'll make them a 2-shot.

But there are some ideas I get that I know I couldn't tell the way I want in only one chapter. And I do love getting to sit with and marinate on a story for a good long while. I am not a fast writer so when I commit to a multi-chapter fic it's probably gonna turn into a multi-year project. Mostly because I don't know how to finish one long WIP before picking up another new long WIP and the list just keeps on growing.

As for reading. I like both. Oneshots are great for when I only have a little bit of time to read, multi-chapters are so nice to get deep into.

17. What has been the proudest moment for you so far since you started writing?

Hmmm... that's hard to pin down. I've literally been writing fic for half my lifetime now, and there have been a lot of moments I am proud of, from gathering the courage to posting my first fic all those years ago, to participating in various fandom events. But I guess if I have to pick a specific one, it's probably finishing my longest (to date) 100k fic in ~1 year from having the first story idea to posting the final chapter. That was my first fic back after a long dry spell of not writing much and not posting anything, and it kind of rekindled my love for writing again. Also. Being a SLOW ASS WRITER i wrote and posted 100k worth of fic in about a year!

23. What's one piece of advice you would give to anyone who wants to start writing or posting their fic online?

Just one piece of advice? Oh, it's tough. I kinda wanna say Write For Yourself First, but also I feel like I can tie that into a broader piece of advice and that is: Write Fearlessly!

Especially when you are brand new to writing or even just writing fic it can seem really intimidating and scary when there are people out there posting masterpieces of fanfic, and Actual Published Authors also out there, and you're just a brand new writer with an idea you really like. It can be very easy to get bogged down with doubt and comparing yourself to others or saying "others have done something similar, so I shouldn't bother with mine" and to that I say a hearty and encouraging "Fuck that!"

Nobody can write Your story except You!

Nobody experience the characters in the same way you do!

Nobody will execute your idea in the exact same way you will. And that makes your story unique!

"But what if it's bad?" Bad words on a pager are better than No words. You'll never get better if you don't practice. You can also Always go back and clean things up in the future. You can worry about grammar and structuring After you get the story written down. Proofreading is wonderful, and Beta readers are Angels.

"But what if Nobody likes it?" Why do other's matter? Do you like it? Did you enjoy the writing process? Do you like the story you've written? If you're enjoying the fanfic you're writing, you've already won over your most important audience.

"What if this idea is stupid?" Stupid ideas can be a TON of fun! Be fearless! Go crazy! Write that silly idea! Who's gonna judge you?

Learning to let go of preconceived notions of what you Have To Do To Make Good Fic will provide you with so much freedom and growth.

Write that ambitious story that you think might be above your skill level. Write Bad Fic. Write Short Fic. Write Long Fic. Write silly fic, stupid fic, serious fic, angsty fic, smushy romantic fic, smutty fic, fic that is so cliche and tropey it's basically a link to TVTropes, write the fic that's been done a thousand times by others, but never by you.

Write the fic that you want to. Post what you want to. (You don't have to share everything you write if you don't want to.)

Write fearlessly! You can be careful when you're proofreading.

[bekahdoesnerdshit]

Pip Backstory!

Hey guys! It’s Pip Backstory! This post actually started as an archive of the backstory I wrote into my Roll20 sheet when the DM said she was taking the game down, because I didn’t want to lose all the writing I had done. I didn’t plan to do anything with it, but I thought it would be nice to have it later to look back on! But now that this blog is more than me just tagging pictures of frogs and making myself laugh, I thought it might be fun to clean this up a bit and put it out there! 

(Subtitle: I took a lot of liberties with Grung Lore)

(Subtitle 2: Brevity? Idk her)

NPCs You Should Care About:

Eed and Row, Pip’s parents. He’s not exactly ashamed of them, he just knows he’s better than them

A’toog’uh, Pip’s not-mom

Nay’luk’ta, Pip’s wizard magic teacher

Tl;dr: Weird Jungle Powers gave Pip magic, and that initial “surge” is the reason for his surges today. Trained along with a bunch of baby wizard grung, and surged Bad the very first time he cast a first level spell. Left home in the wake of that before he could be chased out, and hasn’t looked back

—

Grung aren’t really familiar with the concept of sorcerers.

Or warlocks. Or clerics.

That isn’t to say that they’re unfamiliar with magic itself! They have an entire caste level dedicated to magic users, and have an established system to ensure the knowledge from one generation is passed on to the next. But when so much of the survival of your race hinges on having magic users who can help take down threats that would otherwise wipe out your tribe, relying on the irregular benevolence of some mysterious force to empower your casters is, in a word, ill-advised. As a result, most Grung magic comes from studying and mentors and years of practice: the kind of magic that breeds accomplished wizards, not sorcerers.

So when Te’pip’ren hatched, when the translucent green-gray of his tadpole skin begin to show streaks of bright red and a clear affinity for magic made itself known, no one thought twice about beginning to prepare him to train alongside his peers once he was old enough. And while the fact that neither of Pip’s parents were red, magic wielding Grung did turn some heads, the phenomenon wasn’t entirely unprecedented. Magic was a tricky thing, there was no real way of knowing who it would reveal itself to. However, it was unthinkable that two low caste green Grung be responsible for caring for a tadpole that so greatly outranked them. Fortunately there was an elderly red Grung in the village -well past her prime, but excellent with children- and Pip’s parents agreed it was for the best propriety was maintained. Within days of the issue arising it was resolved, and Pip was bundled off to stay with ‘Grandma A’toog’uh’ until he was old enough to begin learning magic properly.

Once a young red Grung reaches maturity, they and their hatch mates from several tribes are sent deep into the jungle, to learn from a more accomplished Grung caster the spells and techniques they need in order to serve their tribe. After several months of studying the basics of magic and learning cantrips, the apprentice Grung then briefly return to their tribes in order to participate in a ceremony to demonstrate what they’ve learned and, by casting their very first level one spell, show that they are looking to the future and will be returning to their mentor to finish their education.

For a while, Pip’s studies went very well. He took to magic like a Grung to water, keeping pace with and even surpassing his peers as they studied simple spells under their mentor Nay’luk’ta’s direction. Despite being, at best, inconsistent with his studying and note-taking, Pip loved learning magic. He was completely fascinated by the way a few words or gestures could be used to affect the world around him to such a substantial degree and, if his peers envied him for the ease with which he absorbed each of their lessons, he didn’t notice.

When it finally came time for the students to return home, to take part in the ceremony that would mark them as fully fledged students of magic, Pip was beside himself with excitement. He had spent weeks vacillating between nearly every possible spell he could show off with before finally deciding on Silent Image and setting to practice.

Finally, after months and months of study and practice, Pip and his classmates were sent back to their tribes to complete the ceremony. He and his three hatchmates made their way home and found themselves greeted by a bustle of excitement from the tribe they’d left behind. They were excited to see how much their little tadpoles had grown while away and hear absolutely everything about their training and newfound arcane skill. A makeshift stage had been erected in the center of the village, and one by one the little red Grung made their way up to present their spells.

Pip was the last to go, with magic absolutely bursting at his fingertips. He bounded up onto the stage and barely waited to be given permission to begin before starting to cast.

Looking back now, it was obvious what went wrong. The way the magic crackled and caught in his veins instead of flowing out smoothly, the way his chest went almost painfully tight as the spell manifested before him, there were the telltale warning signs of a surge. But in that moment, as Pip cast his very first level one spell, all he knew was that something about his magic was deeply, deeply wrong. For a moment, no one in the crowd seemed to notice. They were deeply impressed by the tree Pip had caused to ’sprout’ behind him on the stage, and had even begun to applaud the show of skill. The spell ended, the illusion faded, but there was still magic burning in the palms of Pip’s hands that he couldn’t make go away. There was a moment of silence and then— chaos. It was like every bit of magic inside of him was exploding out at once in a way he could do nothing to stop or control, burning through him with a searing pain that had never accompanied his casting before. It might have gone on for hours, for all Pip knew. But when the spells finally stopped, when the world around him was quiet once more, Pip slowly raised his head to find himself sitting -alone- in the smoking, deserted remains of his village.

He ran.

After that, it was a long, long time before Pip could bring himself to cast so much as a cantrip, and even longer before he would even consider anything stronger. He was terrified of his magic, and for good reason. If he didn’t understand what had happened, how could he understand what had caused it? And if he couldn’t understand what had caused it, how could he keep it from happening again? At best he’d destroyed his home and caused his tribe to flee. At worst… At worst, they hadn’t fled. And Pip didn’t know what he would do if that was the case.

It wasn’t until he met Kur’rok a long while later that he let himself risk using magic at all. No longer being alone, having someone who trusted him to watch his back, it made it a little easier to stomach the risk. Because if it came down either some monster definitely hurting him and his new friends, or Pip possibly hurting them? It wasn’t an easy decision to make, but it was a decision with a clear right choice. And as they traveled, as Pip began to practice once more and reclaim his magic, he began to get a better handle on it. Eventually he learned that more powerful spells had a higher chance of causing a surge, learned how to tell if a surge was going to happen so he could try and minimize damage. And since being taken to Barovia, as much as evil and darkness engulf the land, being there and fighting alongside a steadily growing group of friends has only strengthened his conviction that, while sometimes scary, his magic is not inherently bad. Regardless of tonight’s outcome, that is a lesson that I am proud that he got the chance to learn.

[lightningbugqueen]

Rainbow

Do you love angst, fluff, Prinxiety, and the song “Rainbow” by Kacey Musgraves? If so, read my fic. I am proud. Here ya go. 

When it rains, it pours, but you didn't even notice

Virgil curled into himself, unable to move from his spot on his bed. It had been good, they had been happy. Then Virgil had gone and screwed it all up. Of course Virgil had to yell, had to fight with Princey. Could he even call him Princey anymore? It didn’t matter that Virgil was on the verge of an anxiety attack at that point, he should have been better. Should have just left, or let Roman do what he wanted. Now he was alone, and Roman would probably never forgive him.

It ain't rainin' anymore, it's hard to breathe when all you know is

The struggle of staying above the rising water line

Well, at least he had an answer. At least Virgil knew this was the end, and he didn’t have to keep worrying over whether Roman still wanted him. He knew the prince didn’t. But, Virgil still couldn’t breath. Couldn’t move, couldn’t breath, couldn’t even think a single thought other than, it’s over it’s over it’s over . It was like Virgil was drowning in a vat of his own unshed tears, the world of bedtime kisses and adventures disappearing above him, as he sunk back to the way things had been before, and would be from now on. Virgil wouldn’t come out of his room anymore. He would wait until midnight every few days to go grab enough food to last him. He would keep doing his job to keep Thomas safe. But he wouldn’t be in the others’ way anymore. He wouldn’t cause them anymore pain, and he would let Roman be happy again, like he was before. Before Virgil ruined it all.

Well, the sky is finally open, the rain and wind stopped blowin'

But you're stuck out in the same ol' storm again

It felt like it did before. Alone. Sure, he had Janus and Remus when he was younger, but they were always cruel to him, and were never his real family. Now, Janus still resented him for what happened in the Selfishness vs Selflessness video, and he couldn’t even look at Remus without thinking of Roman. So now, he really had no one. It was Virgil’s own fault, really. He had gotten too comfortable. With the Dark Sides, he was always on his toes, ready for the next prank, the next time he had to get up and run. But these past few years had been different. Patton wanted to spend time with him. He was kind, and accepting, and despite what Virgil said, he loved being the Moral Side’s “Dark strange son” Logan cared about him too. True, he was better at hiding it, but he did care. Virgil felt at home when he was with Logan, and the Logical Side always helped him feel calmer and more in control. And then there was Roman. Roman was….everything. He was loud, and boisterous, and annoying at times, but he was incredible too. He was kind, and sweet, and handsome, and he actually liked Virgil exactly as he was. But of course, Virgil had ruined that too. Roman probably hated him now.

Suddenly, Virgil felt the pulling in his chest that came with being summoned. At first, he wanted to fight it, and stay where he was. But Thomas needed him, and Virgil had promised himself and the others that when Thomas needed him he would be there.

You hold tight to your umbrella, well, darlin' I'm just tryin' to tell ya

“Virgil!” Thomas exclaimed when the anxious side popped up. His smile quickly disappeared, however, when he saw that Virgil was not slouching as he normally did at the foot of the stairs, but was squeezed into a tight ball in the corner of the landing. “Virgil?” the side slowly uncurled himself from his position, and looked up at Thomas with red eyes, for once devoid of makeup. It was an almost scary sight. Normally Virgil was quiet, dark, and tough. He contributed when he needed to, made a number of snarky comments, and acted like nothing the others said ever affected him. Thomas knew this wasn’t true from Accepting Anxiety, but to see Virgil like this now was shocking. He looked….broken. The life wasn’t in his eyes anymore. He had been happier these past few months. None of the sides nor Thomas had mentioned it, but Virgil seemed to be enjoying life more. That was all gone now. He looked even worse than he had when Thomas first introduced him. He didn’t even look like Virgil anymore.

“Yeah? What did you need me for?” he asked, trying to use that same snarky tone, but it just sounded hollow.

“Um well, Roman told me he was looking for you,” Virgil flinched at the prince’s name, “But, Virge, are you okay?” Thomas didn’t know what was happening, but it didn’t even seem like the side was anxious. Thomas didn’t feel anxious like he usually did when Virgil had a bad day, at least.

“No, not really. And I’d rather not say why, so can I go?”

“Um yeah, I guess. I mean, Roman seemed pretty freaked out, so you might want to go find him, but that’s it,” Virgil gave a short nod, and sank out.

Unfortunately, when a Side leaves their room, unless they focus, they leave a previously bolted door unlocked.

That there's always been a rainbow hangin' over your head

Roman sank to his knees outside of Virgil’s door, tears tracing their way down his face. What had he done? It had just been a little squabble, but then he made some comment, something along the lines of, “God, why do I even put up with you?” and Virgil had gone as pale as a sheet and raced off to his bedroom. Roman had just meant it sarcastically! He knew why he put up with Virgil! Because he was kind, and beautiful, and magical, and his true love. Roman thought he was the prince, but really he was just waiting to get rescued by his knight in shining hoodie.

Of course, Roman had immediately taken off after Virgil, but when he reached the top hallway, the Side’s door had already slammed shut. He’d pounded, shouted, screamed and wailed for Virgil to come out, so Roman could just apologize. God, he hated himself right now. He knew how things could hurt Virgil. How could he have done this? Virgil, his shining star. The rush of feelings that came with seeing him, kissing him, holding him were like a rainbow. Colors just exploding beneath his eyelids, like Virgil channeled magic right into Roman’s mind. He loved him. He loved him more than anything. And he ruined it.

Roman fell back on empty air with an “oof” as the door finally swung open.

If you could see what I see, you'd be blinded by the colors

Yellow, red, and orange, and green, and at least a million others

Virgil sunk back in his room, but when he returned he was not alone. He froze. His prince, no, not his, lay on his back in the doorway, knees still up. He looked horrible. Perfect hair askew, dashing uniform rumpled with the sash hanging off his shoulder, and tear tracks down his face. I did this, Virgil thought, I made him feel this way. Roman’s eyes were closed, and his chest went up and down unevenly, still wracked with silent sobs. But when he somehow sensed Virgil reappearance, he sprang to his feet. Or, if he was like normal he would have sprang. He really just slowly lifted himself off the ground, more tears escaping his eyes.

“Virgil-” his voice broke off, and his eyes shone with tears.

“Yeah, I know, it’s okay” said Virgil, even though it wasn’t.

“No, it’s not!” Roman exclaimed, “I’m so sorry, I hurt you, I shouldn’t have said that, please please please let me prove I’m still worth it!

“No, it’s fine I underst-” Virgil started, but then he comprehended what the prince had said, “Wait, what?”

“I’m sorry,” answered Roman, quietly this time, “I hurt you. I know why I put up with you. I put up with you because I… I love you,”

“You WHAT?” Virgil asked, well, yelled.

“I love you Virgil. My chemically imbalanced romance. My beautiful, kind, amazing sunshine. I love you,”

“But, but I thought it was over. I thought you didn’t want to put up with me anymore…” Fresh tears found their way down Roman’s cheeks.

“How could you think that, Virge? You’re my everything! If you could just see yourself the way I see you. You, you’re incredible. You shine like the only sun I ever want to brighten my day, I could write sonnet after sonnet just about your face and never run out of words. It’s like a million colors gleaming from a rainbow, and you’re the only thing that makes them shine. How in the world could you think I would ever give up on you, when you’re the sun and I am but a planet, revolving around you, just hoping to catch a glimpse of your radiance?”

So tie up the bow, take off your coat, and take a look around

Everything is alright now

Roman… loved him. Actually loved him, just as much as Virgil loved the Prince. And it wasn’t over. Virgil couldn’t process.

“How?” he just asked, too confused to say more.

“How? I don’t know how, Virgil. You’re just you, perfect and wonderful in every way, and I can’t help it,” Virgil stared at him blankly. This was his chance. To be loved. Roman actually said he loved him, and Virgil certainly loved the prince. But there was a problem.

'Cause the sky has finally opened, the rain and wind stopped blowin'

But you're stuck out in the same ol' storm again

Nobody loved Virgil. He was bad. When he was with the Dark Sides, he was too quiet, too regular. He wasn’t dramatic, or sarcastic, or theatrical. And he didn’t want to be bad. He never wanted to hurt people, never wanted to participate in the sick jokes the other two played. He just wanted to protect Thomas, and keep them all safe. With the Light Sides, he was bad. He was the antagonist, the annoying one, the one nobody wanted around. Sure they grew to like him, Roman even romantically, but nobody loved Virgil. He just wasn’t made to be loved.

“No, not how. Why?” he asked, finally understanding the problem, “Why would you love me . I’m bad. I prevent you and Thomas from doing the things you love, you shouldn’t love me. Nobody does. Patton thinks I’m cool, and says he loves everyone. Logan tolerates me. You like me romantically, but why in the world would you love me?”

Let go of your umbrella, 'cause darlin', I'm just tryin' to tell ya

That there's always been a rainbow hangin' over your head

Roman was astonished. Was this what Virgil thought of himself? Unworthy of love? The bad guy? Virgil hadn’t been the bad guy for a very long time. Virgil was his hero. With his eyeshadow, dark hoodie, endearing smile, cute bangs, and snarky humor, he was perfect.

“Because, Shakespeare, this sounds cliche, but you complete me. You make me feel like I can climb the highest mountains, explore the deepest jungles, defeat the Dragon-Witch once and for all. Virgil, you are like the missing piece of my heart that I’ve been looking for my entire life. You’re my prince charming.” Tears were falling fast from both their eyes now, but, finally, it seemed like Virgil’s tears were that of relief.

Yeah, there's always been a rainbow hangin' over your head

Roman loved him. It was true this time. Of course, it was true all the time, but Virgil believed him now. Believed that Princey, his Princey, thought that Virgil was worth his heart. And sure, maybe it would take Virgil a little longer to believe it himself, but that was okay. For now, he just really needed Roman.

Virgil raced into Roman’s arms, clutching the taller Side to his face, crying more silent tears. Roman hesitantly wrapped his arms around Virgil, and leaned down to kiss the top of Virgil’s head.

“As wonderful and enlightening this conversation has been, dearest,” he said, “I do think we are both very worn out, and should retire to bed now,” He awkwardly led Virgil to the bed(the anxious side still had not let go of his waist) and they laid down together. After some rustling and repositioning, they were comfortable. Roman held Virgil tight against his chest, where Virgil had pressed his face against the prince’s collar bone. The covers were pulled up to his waist, and Virgil still clutched at Roman’s uniform. Just as Roman was drifting off to sleep, Virgil mumbled into his chest.

“I love you too,”

It'll all be alright

[princejaron]

It’s Not Easy For Gen Z

"They are perhaps the most brand-critical, bullshit-repellent, questioning group around and will call out any behavior they dislike on social media.” 

- Lucie Greene

     Born between the years 1997 and 2012, Generation Z is described as being more racially and ethnically diverse than any previous generation. Moreover, it is said that they are on track to be the most well-educated generation yet. I believe that this is proven true with the following statistics:

77% of registered U.S voters ages 18-23 do not approve of Donald Trump’s presidency. Gen Z is not afraid to speak up about a corrupt government that does selfish political acts. Similarly here in the Philippines, a huge percentage of the Gen Z population do not approve of Duterte’s presidency, especially with how he handles the present pandemic. I’m proud to be a part of that huge percentage as I do not like to be politically ignorant with how the Philippine government is acting despite the drastic increase in COVID19 cases quotidian. Implementing the Anti-Terrorism Bill, shutting down ABS-CBN, allowing foreign nationals to enter the country starting August 1, and not implementing mass testing still are only few of the actions that prove his incompetency as president. #OustDuterte

Gen Z are less likely to drop out of high school and more likely to enroll in college. Despite the implementation of the K-12 program, Gen Z are still pursuant of their education. Even presently, despite the pandemic, they are doing online learning (if they have the resources they need to be able to do so) just so they can continue attaining their education. I am among the students who are currently doing online learning despite its newfangledness.

Gen Z are more likely to say blacks are treated less fairly than whites. Police brutality and racially-motivated violence was and is happening in the U.S. Racial discrimination is an issue that we still face up to this day, and many members of Gen Z are fighting in support of black lives. I personally am an advocate of #BlackLivesMatter as well, so I’m included in this fight against racism. ✊🏽✊🏾✊🏿

Roughly half of Gen Z approve of same-sex marriage. Moreover, they think that society is not accepting enough of those who do not identify as a man or a woman. Gen Z fights for the equal rights of members of the LGBTQIA+ community, and does not tolerate the injustices that the community face quotidian. I’m included in this fight for #LGBTQrights as well, especially that I am a member of the community itself. 🌈

     These are only a few, but you can deduce from these statistics that Generation Z is not just smart, but truly a “woke” generation as well.

     For myself, I’ve observed that the aforementioned characteristics of Gen Z are all applicable to me. By knowing the social issues that I stand for, it helps me to understand my strengths and weaknesses. What are relevant social issues that I’m unaware of or simply ignorant about? This allows me to be more socially aware of my surroundings and of the world, because I believe that today, we have this sort of innate responsibility to help others and fight for equality and justice. 

     However, despite all of this, Generation Z is facing a lot of challenges in today’s world. In fact, they have it hard and truly, it is not easy for Gen Z. 

The COVID-19 caused a huge decline in employment rate among Gen Zers. It is said that the group’s eldest members are graduating into a labor market that has been devastated by the global pandemic; there are fewer jobs and internships available for them. Resolution Foundation suggested that the pandemic could affect young people’s pay and job prospects in the long-term. Moreover, from another research, they also said that those who leave education for work during recessions suffer from lower employment rate and pay for years even after the event. All of this could mean that Gen Zers are highly prone to experiencing financial instability today and in the future. If this is the case, Gen Z will have to take alternative courses of action in order to survive in the expensive real world. They may resort to freelancing, or even doing business themselves. Nowadays, there are businesses that require little to no capital to operate, thus it is an option that members of Gen Z can take into consideration as their livelihood. 

Resources, especially housing, are only growing more limited and scarcer everyday. Economics says that resources are scarce, thus it should be used optimally. In our case, we can’t even truly optimally use those resources because they are hard to obtain. This fact is made a laughingstock by Monopoly when they made the “Monopoly for Millennials” with a tagline that says “Forget real estate. You can’t afford it anyway.” If millennials are experiencing this problem, what more for the younger generation, and the other generations to come? Our population is only growing every second, and cost of living is following suit. This is our reality now, but nevertheless we have to make do with what we have been given. Measly as though it may be, Gen Z will just have to be very resourceful.

Generation Z has to live on Earth in its current state - warm, polluted, and destructed by human activity. Did you know that in 2016, the World Health Organization said that 92% of the world’s population is breathing contaminated air? This is a scary situation to be in for the younger generation. It makes you wonder: what kind of Earth is in store for them? Will there even be an Earth for them and the next generations in the future? It is alarming, truly, that the younger generation is peering into an uncertain future because of how we are sucking the life out of Mother Earth for our own selfish gains. 🥀All of us should work together to conserve the planet that we live in. Even simple things will have a snowball effect, such as reducing our plastic usage and maintaining the cleanliness of our surroundings. Heck, not using plastic straws is still essentially a big help. #SaveTheTurtles 🐢

Generation Z receives a lot of discrimination from older generations because of the differences in opinions. Generation Z are often told that they are still too young to be vocal about rampant and prevailing social issues, and that they are still inexperienced to say and feel certain things.  Despite having already proven ourselves to others, our potential and capabilities are still being limited and underestimated by the older generations just because of our young age. But age is just a number, and it mostly does not prove anything at all. Moreover, Gen Z shouldn’t be trifled with. We have the passion to ameliorate the world, and to make a better life for everyone in the future. We are going to continue proving others wrong. We will show that we are a generation of hope. 

Lastly, because of their very technology-based lifestyle, it is mostly Generation Z that has to face the negative effects that social media brings. It is indubitable that social media is practically a part of their life; it is an important platform for them. However, social media can also be used as a medium for spreading misinformation, cyberbullying, harassing, etc. And these can cause damages to the life of a person that may even be permanent. That is why we have to be very careful with the things we say online, and never encourage and tolerate nefarious acts like those aforementioned. Let us try to make social media a safe online platform for everyone. 

     So what are my five key takeaways from these challenges? It is that the call to action is imperative; the time to act is now, and we need to take responsibility for effecting changes in the things that need to be changed. We have to make a better world materialize, and it is up to us to actualize it. 

1. Consider diving into the world of entrepreneurship. If we cannot find a job, let us be the one to provide jobs through operating a business. More businesses means more workforce needed. 

2. Be resourceful, and look for substitute goods if possible. Moreover, never forget to use the resources that we have optimally and not wastefully. We are a very innovative generation. Let us use our brilliant minds to come up with ways to reduce the scarcity of resources. 

3. Participate in environmental advocacies, and help take care of Mother Earth even if it is just through simple things. Mother Earth can survive without us, but we cannot survive without her. That is why it is important that we do not take her for granted before things are too late. Let us preserve the place that we call home for the future generations to come.

4. Do not mind the discrimination that we receive from older generations, and focus on what we can bring to the table instead. We are on track to be the most well-educated generation yet, and the older generations can’t ever dispute that fact. We have a lot to offer to the world, and we can be a beacon of hope for the future. We don’t have to keep living up to their standards, because sooner or later, we will be the standard. 

5. Social media will never not be a part of our lives. It is pretty much a need now because of its versatility and functionality in helping us with almost anything and everything. So we can use social media unsparingly, but let us never forget that we also have to use it wisely. 

    But ultimately, I think that the most important takeaway from this is that although life is not easy for us Gen Z, we have to embrace the hardships of it all and use it as a weapon of hope to fight against inequality, injustice, and hatred. As Lucie Greene described us, let us be “the most brand-critical, bullshit-repellent, questioning group” the world has ever seen. 

[ishakzander]

‹ RAMI MALEK, HE/HIM, CISMALE, ASEXUAL. ›  ISHAK ZANDER is the THIRTY-SEVEN year old THAT CAME TO beaver creek, colorado, hired to work as a PASTRY CHEF in the manor. when a friend asked them what they thought of the manor they said,  ❝ TO THE DEVIL WITH FALSE MODESTY. ❞ they claim CARRIE is their favorite scary movie, and if they were to die in a horror film they would HAVE SENT A GOODBYE VOICEMAIL TO THEIR FAMILY BEFORE BEING BURIED ALIVE. their fears include SUFFOCATION, HOSPITALS and SNAKES, and they don’t know we know, but… HE WAS INVOLVED IN A REVENGE PORN IN HIGH SCHOOL. ‹ STAFF OF THE MANOR, Pastry Chef. ›

hey hey hey! tis me again, aren, and i’m back with a second muse! and here we go...

STATS—

NAME: Ishak Khalil Zander BIRTHPLACE: Denver, Colorado HOMETOWN: Denver, Colorado DOB: September 28 ZODIAC: Libra AGE: 37 HEIGHT: 5’10 (1.78 m) WEIGHT: 70 kg (154 lbs) HAIR: Black EYES: Green S/R ORIENTATION: Asexual / Demiromantic OCCUPATION(S): Pastry chef. Sous chef (former). Executive pastry chef (former).

Name pronounced as EE-SHAK or ISH-AK.

Egyptian. With some Greek lineage.

Youngest of two; has an older brother.

Majored in Cultural Studies.

After graduating from college, he went and studied in Le Cordon Bleu in Paris, France.

Can speak fluent French, colloquial Egyptian-Arabic, basic Spanish.

An absolute optimist.

His five favorite food groups? Cake, chocolate, macaron, cheese and wine.

Believes in superstition.

200% foodie.

A perfectionist, especially when it comes to his craft.

Catch him snowboarding or hiking during his rare-free time/off days.

Awkward when it comes to technology.

Interned, worked for and was mentored by Wolfgang Puck.

Was the First Family’s executive pastry chef throughout President Obama’s term. (This totally happened in this universe OKAY.)

Then, he moved back to Denver, CO – reunited with his family, and worked as a pastry chef for The Mandalorian. (Yes, I borrowed this from SW but shhh it’s easier for me to remember lmao.)

Come 2018, a job post for the Crenshaw Manor was forwarded to him via email; the pastry chef position. He applied and was hired.

Despite his overall sunny, outgoing, positive disposition… he can be snappy (esp in the kitchen), snarky (don’t bad-mouth immigrants, ever), insensitive (refer to snappy lol).

He’s heard of all the ghost stories and lore concerning the Manor™. He will neither confirm nor deny, but he’s got lots to tell if you’re up for a good story (or some urban myths).

As for his secret, while he wasn’t present when the event took place, he was pressured and manipulated into posting the video online by people he, at the time, thought were his friends. A flagrant outcome, a divisive fallout, and disciplinary actions were taken.

FEARS

SUFFOCATION: He got locked up in a closet when he was little when the fear mounted (and it was dark) and suddenly, he was unable to breathe. HOSPITALS: While he can count the number of times he’s been in a hospital, most had to do with death. He’s lost a cousin, an uncle, a close friend and a co-worker. Want to know what these four have in common? They all died at precisely 3 AM yet different calendar dates and the cause of death were all undetermined. Oh, and mirrors were found shattered in the restrooms. SNAKES: Because they slither and crawl and no thank you fjkvjdfksfbnkj

BIO

Sometimes you watch old videos of yourself. The ones were taken by your older brother, by your mom. There’s something subjective about them, the camera angles, and the crisp sound, your own voice sounding so young. Your mom video calls every now and then when she’s not busy with the restaurant, you are in desperate need of a haircut or a shave, and when you see for yourself you call her back just to agree, to have that good ‘ol mother and son fun banter. You’re good friends with your dad, you’re his confidant. You look up to your brother because he’s quite the role model, he’s fun and witty and everything you’ve aspired to be.

Your childhood was good. You’re the son of Egyptian immigrants. Your father’s a biochemist, and your mother’s a chef; you clearly took after the latter, although you took a lot from the former, too. You’re appreciative and passionate about your roots, proud of your culture. You had good friends, participated in activities in and out of school.

High school was another world, you felt alienated for a season, had to adjust. But you found your place, found your friends. At least, you thought you did. You felt safe, well-liked, ever the social butterfly. Your brother warned you about certain friends, how they never felt right, how they looked at you differently. Of course, you elected to ignore his advice. And then something happened—

It wasn’t the same, you’ve changed. You grew up overnight, forced to face your demons and to deal. Your name was cleared, sure, and your family still loves you. Always have, and they never looked at you any different. They still trust you, they believe in you. Your real friends? They’re a small group, and they stayed—you’re thankful. You’re forgiven, but you’ll never forget. You went to a different high school once the semester’s ended.

College was fun. Your first fling, your first relationship, first drag of mary-jane, first unofficial cook-off. A lot of firsts. Oh, and apparently, you’re now a damn-good cook, quite the baker. One of your best friends questioned why you’re not pursuing Culinary Arts, and you jokingly told him it’s because you want to go to all the free parties and concerts first. You graduated with honors, your family’s proud. You feel good. Still, you felt unaccomplished.

Paris was something else. You wondered how you’ll fit in, how you’ll pull through. But you fucking did. Despite the odds, scheming, and competitive classmates. You’re on top of your class, lauded by your peers and teachers. That’s right, you’re feeling accomplished now.

You started off as a sous chef, a tall task. However, you’re excellent under pressure, you’re damn good at what you do. You’ve faced adversity (dissatisfied customers and foodies), felt a surge of pride (executive chefs and critiques praising your work), humbled (your family and roots are being credited for your skills, your upbringing).

Being the executive pastry chef for the First Family’s a highlight of your life. You didn’t think it was possible, but it happened. It was the First Lady who recommended you when she and her daughters dined at one of Wolfgang Puck’s restaurants. Up to this day, it still feels surreal.

You go back to Colorado once President Obama’s concluded his final term, full of sound and happy memories, friendships, an experience unlike any other. Then, you take up the pastry chef post for a well-known shop, the owner’s a family friend, and personally asked you to fill the spot.

Now comes a new chapter.

You’re now the pastry chef for the Crenshaw Manor. You’re familiar with the stories, the gossip, and everything else in between. You’re familiar with the silence, eerie, and bone-chilling. You hear the whispers, the voices. You’ve seen the figures, have photographic evidence. But you dare not disrupt the balance.

You follow the protocol because you value your post.

Wanted Connections

I don’t have anything specific fbsjjkvjkakbjka

Throw anything at me or let’s brain storm!

I also don’t kind going off chemistry and going with the flow!

Find me on disco or IM here!

[crystalkleure]

Could you do a character review of Phi?

ф !!!

PHI….BRATTY BASTARD CHILD…

100/10

YOU CAN TELL I LOVE HIM BECAUSE I AM MAD AT HIM. ONLY THINGS YOU CARE ABOUT CAN HURT YOU LIKE HE HAS HURT ME. Phi has inflicted massive damage upon my emotional state. And Hearts’ emotional state too, actually, but I’ll get to that down below [fight stance]

1. Phi confused the hell out of me until yesterday, and 2. I am not surprised that he and Hearts fought so bitterly [..still hurt like a bitch to see just how bad it was, though. Saw the storm coming and STILL wasn’t prepared for the carnage it wrought ;-;] – I could see that, for some reason, the brothers were not working together to begin with. They were never even physically near eachother, never onscreen together.

On the cruise ship, Phi was observing the tournament participants, taking mental notes on all of them for some reason, and he was particularly interested in the strong ones, like Xhan and Aiga [eventually fixating solely on Aiga, though he did also temporarily pay a bit of close attention to Xhan when he saw the power of Fifth Impact]*. Hearts and Evel sent Kyle to the cruise tournament for the same reason, to gather data on the bladers, particularly the strong ones [like Xhan lmao], and relay the collected data back to Evel for analysis.

But Phi and Kyle were not helping eachother. They weren’t sharing the data they gathered with eachother, or comparing notes or anything. In fact, just the opposite – they seemed to be competing with eachother [like maybe Phi and Hearts wanted to find the same thing, but did not want to share it], though unwittingly in Kyle’s case. Kyle didn’t even seem to know who Phi was, which was odd – it seems like Hearts DEFINITELY would’ve warned his minion about his Potentially Extremely Dangerous brother before putting him on a boat with him – but nevertheless that was an indication that Kyle was not sent to assist Phi. And not only that, Phi was EXTREMELY hostile to anyone he caught observing him, while he was observing everyone else; though he previously had no particular interest in Laban, he destroyed Leopard and got Laban booted from the tournament after Laban made it apparent that he could see Something Was Up with Phi, as a preventative measure to keep him from snooping any further [and specifically what Laban saw was this lmao:]

And when Phi saw Kyle recording his battle data on his phone, Phi also destroyed that phone immediately. I’m figuring that maybe Phi assumed Hearts had planted a spy on the ship as well, though he initially didn’t actually know who it was until Kyle slipped up there**.

Phi was aggressively preemptively-possessive of whatever he was trying to find on that ship, didn’t want anyone else to get it first [especially his brother], and he eventually decided that Aiga Had What He Was Looking For, because it was something to do with resonance. Phi was always very attentive whenever he saw Aiga displaying strong, though unstable, resonance symptoms, like exuding a Scary Dark Aura or doing The Hair Thing, and when Achilles glowed at Aiga, Phoenix often started glowing at Phi in response to that, as well. Phi actively encouraged the bad resonance thing.

Though, he was evidently wrong by thinking that he could get the thing he wanted from Aiga [at least at that time], because now I think ep. 41 finally told me what that actually was:

Phoenix turned purple like this before too, back when Phi battled Aiga. Phi got particularly excited when that happened, as though it was building up to something – but then the buildup fizzled out and he never actually got whatever it was, and so he became frustrated and disappointed with Aiga. Phi said something along the lines of “Not enough, huh…” or “More, huh…” [it was “Mada, ka…”, as though “More is needed” I think? Never fully trust my translations] when Aiga lost to him in ep. 22, as though that was an unsatisfying outcome for him somehow and just winning alone was “not enough”. [He was similarly upset when he broke Achilles in ep. 37, like maybe he was frustrated that he ended up destroying it before he got what he wanted out of it.]

And now, in ep. 41, we see Phoenix turn purple like that again…after it appeared to be sucking the energy/power out of Hades. Phoenix is draining its opponents’ energy in some way – and in a way that is somehow inherently different from Free’s Fafnir’s simple spinpower-stealing technique, as Hearts’ reaction to this is to become progressively more physically exhausted himself, while Phi remains fine and even gets a bit more energetic. Whatever that purple energy is, Phoenix is taking it into itself, causing it to eventually turn that same shade of purple, but Phi’s aura also turns purple like that too, showing that Phi himself has also internalized that stolen energy.

So it’s stealing more than just spinpower here, it’s almost like it’s draining fucking life-force or something. Whatever power Phi is desiring to steal with Phoenix, it looks like it’s something that comes specifically from a bey/blader pair that has achieved strong resonance [maybe not even necessarily “good” resonance, as he thought he could get it from Aiga and Achilles, and he DID get it from Hearts and Hades, who were arguably just as imbalanced/unstable]. So it looks like that’s what was “building up” and getting Phi so excited: Stolen energy. He was just unable to reach full power with what he was able to take from Aiga, is my best guess; like maybe he couldn’t steal it all that time for some reason or something.

Also worth noting: In Hearts’ flashback to when Phi left the Dead Gran, Phi said something about how Hearts had become boring and was no longer fun to “play” with, and that’s why he was going. A few minutes earlier this ep, in the present time, Phi told Hearts to stay away from Aiga because “That’s my toy”. What that says to me, upon Phi returning to challenge Hearts again in the first place, is 1. that Phi reconsidered his opinion of Hearts and had decided he was still “worthwhile” after all, 2. that he’s referring to the bladers he intends to steal the energy from as his “toys” – though “tools” would actually be a more appropriate term tbh, and 3. that he’s still sure he can potentially get something out of Aiga.

And now, because this post is clearly not long enough and I outright refuse to split them up:

🖤 HEARTS TIME!!! 💜

∞/10

Oh my fucking god I have never loved a character so much so fast, and that’s just referring to when he was first introduced. Hearts is on par with Jin from s1 now, as far as favourite characters go for me ;w; #ProtectHearts2k19!!!

Picking up on the resonance thing that this whole group seems so interested in: Hearts’ possession situation is interesting to compare and contrast to Aiga’s.

It’s stated that Hearts has been constantly overshadowed by his brother, Phi always shone brighter, and Hearts’ entire persona is a reflection of that. The way he’s so performative, how he puts on airs to work up a crowd [“You wanna see a REAL champion??” is what he said to the spectators right before he beat Aiga the first time, as an example that springs to mind], the way he constantly taunts his opponents and talks down to them, and I believe he even refers to himself as “ore-same” at times [which basically translates to something along the lines of “The great me”] – those are all symptoms of an inferiority complex. “Please think I’m cool, please think I’m strong, please love me.” He is insecure. Hearts acts so loud and proud because he’s trying to convince himself he’s powerful and impressive, more than he’s trying to convince other people. [Though, psychologically, how that works is by the logic “If a large enough group of people believe a thing, therefore it must be correct, so it makes sense for me to believe it too”]

So, he pushes himself. Pushes himself to keep up his persona. Pushes himself to look impressive, pushes himself to stay strong at all costs. He even pushes himself to ignore pain if that’s what it takes.

Pain like resonance pains. Which, as Achilles has shown us with Aiga, are the way a bey tries to tell its blader that they are pushing it too hard. And we see where that goes.

And man, Aiga felt that so hard because the exact same thing literally just happened to him [at the hands of Phi, no less]. He put himself and his selfish desires above the wellbeing of his bey, using it like a tool instead of treating it as a partner, and the constant neglect and mistreatment resulted in it shattering.

And I call Aiga selfish, and immature, but I call Hearts desperate and damaged. Aiga just wanted to be strong and cool pretty much just for the sake of that in itself, as far as I can see [and thank god he’s realized that what he was doing was so harmful], but Hearts pins his entire self-worth on his ability to stay strong under any circumstances – he hurt Hades while trying to heal himself, in contrast to Aiga, who hurt Achilles due to essentially just not understanding the severity and danger of his situation. Hearts sees the danger and just bullheadedly stands strong as he lets it batter him, rather than just being oblivious to it. Hell, his whole schtick with the columns of literal fire erupting from the stadium to signal his arrival is just another way to show his fascination with being in danger – he withstands the heat.

Also, check how he reacts to those resonance pains again. It hurts but he recovers almost immediately. And sometimes, it seems like he even likes it. He’s getting some sort of pleasure out of that pain, and I’d imagine that’s because he gets a rush out of knowing he’s overcoming it. It hurts, but he doesn’t let it stop him, so having the strong willpower to bear all the pain, to push through it and keep going anyway, is yet another thing that makes him feel powerful.

Hearts also…doesn’t seem to make the right kind of friends. The people he surrounds himself with seem to be entirely self-centered, and unconcerned with his wellbeing, if Evel is any indication. Evel seemed to be the person Hearts cared about the most, but Evel didn’t give a shit about Hearts so much as he just saw Hearts’ situation as an interesting experiment, and an opportunity to gather data. And yet in spite of Evel evidently giving no real indication that he cared about Hearts himself at all, Hearts fuckin moved the guy into his house. Evel has entire rooms full of science and beyblade stuff in the Dead Gran, and free roam of the whole place as well. Also, Count Night. Hearts found Night incredibly amusing, and let him wander around in the Dead Gran in much the same way. Night apparently lives in the air ducts now and Hearts was just A-OK with that. And not only did Night not care about Hearts, he was explicitly a thief and intruder who only came to steal shit. Night literally showed up for the sole purpose of causing Hearts problems, and Hearts just thought he was fantastic and amusing.

And that could actually be yet another thing that just points right back to Hearts enjoying it when something causes him problems, because he’s getting a rush out of overcoming those problems. Hearts being amused with Night and basically saying “Ha-haah, you wanna steal my shit? lmao just try it bitch, let’s dance! I like your style >:)” rather than just. Removing The Obvious Threat From His Household. Makes me think that he must just be getting amusement out of thwarting him.

Mr. Demon also seems to be hired help, rather than a friend, but there’s still Kyle, though. We didn’t even see Kyle in ep. 41, no clue who he’s loyal to yet. I wouldn’t be surprised if Kyle’s just Evel’s buddy and is gonna stick around with him, but I hope to hell that he’s actually at least ONE guy that Hearts keeps around who actually…cares about Hearts…

And now, some Aside Notes that are Actually Important Too but I couldn’t find a way to shoehorn them into that big semi-linear plotline rundown without making this post TOO much more disjointed so I’m just tacking them on down here lmao:

•*Phi didn’t always feel the need to battle people HIMSELF while trying to gauge how powerful they were, he opted out of some battles, choosing instead to just sit back and observe as they fought with eachother. That was the first indicator of Phi’s snotty “I won’t play with it if I don’t think it’s really worth my time” attitude, I think. Lazy shit can’t be bothered unless he’s sure he’ll get something out of it lmao.

…Though, honestly, that itself says that Phi must not really find beyblading particularly fun just for it’s own sake, huh…“getting nothing out of it” means he’s getting no enjoyment/entertainment out of it as well :/ He calls beys/bladers “toys”, but treats them like tools, only seeing a point in using them to work towards an ulterior goal. Hm. Even when he was little, the first thing he asked when he was trying to choose a bey was something like “Which one’s the strongest?”, that was his ultimate concern. Like there’s no such thing as just screwing around, killing time, and having fun with a hobby unless you’re achieving something [like bettering yourself somehow]…Could be that that right there is the root of why he bullied Hearts so much, actually. See the flashback soccer match. Hearts was trying to have fun, while Phi was being serious, and seemingly looking down on Hearts for it. Phi did not play with his brother, he competed with him. “I am strong, and you are weak. You are inferior. I am clearly the superior brother.” Hearts’ inferiority complex seems to have been caused by Phi having a major superiority complex, and stepping on Hearts to prop himself up and assert it. Nasty. Makes me wonder wtf put the apparent belief in Phi’s head that Fun Is Pointless Unless It Is Also Productive in the first place. Parental pressure? If it was that, then why didn’t Hearts get the same sort of treatment? Or maybe he did and just didn’t take it to heart…

• **Honestly, a thing that keeps snagging me is just Kyle’s lack of familiarity with Phi. Like, if Hearts sent him to figure out who Phi became the most interested in [in order to intercept that person to prevent Phi from getting to them], then he’d have to be told who Phi was, so that doesn’t work. And the possibility that Kyle was purely on a random data-gathering expedition for Evel, and Evel and Hearts didn’t expect him to run into Phi at all, just seems…really unlikely. Like, they were both after the same type of people. Kyle was definitely there because of Phi being there, even if Kyle didn’t know it, so I guess what I’m stuck on is the fact that idk why Hearts cared so much about what Phi was doing? It seems the most reasonable to assume that he intended to interrupt Phi’s plans, though he has shown us, by walking right into them and getting Hades smashed and stolen, that he didn’t actually know what Phi’s plan WAS. Maybe it was just pure sibling rivalry, like “I don’t know what you’re doing, but I’m gonna find out and then do it better!”? I might have the answer if I could actually understand what was being said, haha…

•And, last but not least: ARE THESE GUYS ALIENS OR NOT, BEYBURST????

Because, like, we’ve see them as children now, evidently on Earth, with a human butler, living in the Dead Gran all those years ago as well, ON EARTH…

But PHI’S EYES…AND THE METEOR…HE WAS UNAFFECTED BY THE FLAMES, THEY DIDN’T BURN HIM…the impact didn’t kill or even harm him, whether he was on/in the meteor or just near the strike site…Humans don’t survive shit like that?? Did Phi somehow fake a fucking meteor strike?? For dramatic effect?? How’d he do that? Even Hearts and Evel seemed perplexed by the crater.

Also, there’s Phi’s proper introduction to the main crew. He was described by DJ as an “invincible/undefeated, immortal blader who nobody knows much about, he just showed up all ~mysterious~ and it’s rumored he fell to Earth on a meteor!”, and I’m just ???

1. If Phi hadn’t been on Earth for very long, that nicely explained why he was not only unknown but undefeated, if he just…hadn’t ever been recorded losing a battle simply because he hadn’t been recorded battling much at all yet, but 2. CLEARLY PHI HAS BEEN HERE AWHILE BC CHILDHOOD FLASHBACK, so was he just in hiding that whole time before starting the meteor rumor and making his dramatic entrance? Maybe, actually, because in Hearts’ flashback to Phi leaving the Dead Gran, both he and his brother looked to be the exact same age they are now, so that flashback must not have taken place that long ago…did Phi just live in the Dead Gran his whole life and never leave until recently, when he randomly decided he wanted to wreak some havoc because he was bored?? If that is the case, how is he so strong, if there was really no one to practice beyblading with but Hearts? Did he really only battle with his brother alone for so many years? hhhhhh ep. 41 answered 500 questions but made 5000 more…

!!DISCLAIMER BTW: I don’t speak any reliable amount of Japanese and I’m actually…not caught up on the subs, either…I’m interpreting visuals and tone-of-voice alone 99% of the time here, feel welcome to correct me if I’ve gotten anything wildly wrong because I’m sure there’s no way I’m 100% right when I can’t actually understand what I’m listening to

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 026: Obstacle Course Part 2 (Conclusion)

Previously on BnHA: The kids of class A busted their way through the sports festival obstacle course like the young gods-in-the-making they are. Everyone was like, whoa, these kids are kicking ass. Momo made a gun and I may have cried a little. Some girl from the support course macguyvered her way through with moon shoes and a utility belt. Fucking Deku tore through the entire thing carrying a giant metal plate and just whomping robots left and right and shimmying across the floating islands of Pandora like fucking Spider-Man. He then catapulted himself onto a bunch of mines in a fucking minefield and fucking surfed the resulting explosion and I’m fucking done you guys.

Today on BnHA: Deku nearly commits a murder but it nets him first place. Todoroki spits in the face of continuity. Everyone in class A advances to the second round of the festival. Midnight announces that round 2 will be a cavalry battle. Deku has a target painted on his back because no good deed ever goes unpunished.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’ve read up through chapter 48 now, so any ETAs will reflect that.) 

oh my god look at these huge text boxes. are these all Deku?? this kid is fucking twacked out on something right now I swear

yeah I guess this is Deku’s POV from when he was like “RARRRRRRRR [BOOM]” from before

seriously this kid is out here channeling the Hulk or something

holy shit he actually dug up the mines in order to jump on them??

All Might what have you done. look what you’ve created

more like blasting shounen maniac

also I forgot Kacchan’s arm was frozen and I had to stare at it for a sec before my memory filled in the blanks there

so we’re all in agreement that Deku has actually gone crazy right?

“yup this is intense” totally fucking bananas

Kacchan has such an over the top wtf expression that for a moment I actually thought Deku had hit him in the head on the way down

he didn’t think about the landing. of course not. shounens never think about the landing

well maybe this guy can inadvertently help you out with that somehow

wow look at his face. Deku what have you done

now Todoroki’s making an ice path

by the way, so Todoroki apparently doesn’t need to physically touch whatever it is he’s freezing, then? because here he’s just stomping on the ground and it’s immediately turning to ice, but he’s wearing shoes. I can’t remember if he’s done this before, but I feel like up till now it’s always been his hands

in fact, I just went back and checked his intro in chapter 11 and it specifically said he freezes things with his right hand (left hand is the fire one). so I consider this panel a plot hole unless Horikoshi decides to come along and explain it later

(ETA: not only did they not explain it, they didn’t change it for the anime either. WHAT KIND OF GARBAGE IS THIS. I CAN’T BELIEVE THE ENTIRE SERIES IS RUINED JUST LIKE THAT OMG.)

Deku seems more worried about losing time on his landing than he is about, you know, landing badly and breaking every bone in his body. I guess once you’ve already done that a few times, you kind of become accustomed to it and it’s no big deal anymore

(ETA: let’s not talk any more about Deku not giving a shit about his own broken bones holy shit.)

why do shounen people always take such a long fucking time to fall

lol the other two are rushing past him while he’s slowly drifting into the frame upside-down

grab onto them and use them as your sled dogs!

holy fuck what is he doing lmao

this kid is really out here with his HEEERE’S JOHNNY face deadass about to commit murder live on camera in front of 100,000 people

oh thank god he didn’t actually hit them. though I feel like it wasn’t for lack of trying

he hit the ground again and of course, more land mines

I feel like he ended up murdering them anyway tbh

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TEACHING THOSE KIDS ERASER HEAD” lmao sob this chapter is epic

and EH is all “I didn’t even do anything they’re just like this”

Deku actually made it back first! holy shit. and all he had to do was go completely off the deep end and murder two of his classmates to do it

oh my god his mom is watching

I mean, of course she’s watching, but it only just occurred to me. is he actually going to use his quirk here at some point or what? and if he does, just what the hell is she going to make of that?

I hope he comes clean with her afterwards, honestly. I have faith in her ability to keep a secret that would put her child’s life in jeopardy otherwise

(ETA: Deku is a liar and a thief and his poor mom deserves better)

and speaking of that, scrolling back up to the panel above Izumama, there’s this other random guy watching Deku who seems to also recognize him

what’s this about exactly? a year ago would be right around the time of the Sludge Incident. does he remember him from that? or does he somehow know Deku from back in his middle school days?

(ETA: it’s the former, I overthought this)

actually there are a lot of people who went to school with Izuku and specifically knew him to not have a quirk, come to think. what are all of them going to think if he suddenly busts one out here in front of the entire country? I feel like that’s going to seem really fucking suspicious and raise a lot of questions

anyway, moving on here, it seems Tomura is watching too. what a creep

and his hands are gone, just like when he visited the school that day and (presumably) broke in

aww. Deku sought out All Might’s face in the crowd and he’s grinning at him and he looks so proud. he’s crying again sob. and All Might looks fucking ecstatic

now All Might is having an internal monologue about how so many modern heroes are in it for the fame and so they’re selfish, but Deku isn’t like that, and that’s why he chose him. and interestingly he says he thought that quality would be a potential weakness, but he’s happy to be proven wrong

“but you gotta stop crying all the time!” aww, let him be, he’s emotional, there’s nothing wrong with that. I was gonna add “and he’s still a kid”, but that implies that there’s anything wrong with an adult being emotional which isn’t the case either. I know he’s all about the whole “smiling through the pain” thing, but Deku’s not the type to keep his feelings so hidden, and honestly I think that’s also a strength rather than a weakness

people from the business course are discussing Deku’s draft stock now, and speculating on how they would market him

yeah All Might I kind of see what you mean here. it’s all about the PR, and the actual hero stuff has almost been taken out of the equation

there’s a panel explaining how the business course members don’t participate in the sports fest directly and instead they just walk around doing boring business things. I’m not at all interested in this but I am dutifully making a note of it

(ETA: though I would be interested if they did some more shit dealing with sudden fame and celebrity and marketing deals. it’s still ridiculous to me that a country with as huge an idol culture as Japan would not be attempting to do this with at least some of these U.A. kids.)

(ETA 2: finally in the latest chapter I read we at least had someone filming a commercial.)

Kacchan and Todoroki have arrived back at the stadium out of breath as losers. sorry losers

poor Todoroki. IN FRONT OF YOUR FAMOUS DAD AND EVERYTHING

Kacchan’s super pissed but what else is new. is your arm okay bud. also you probably could have blasted your way across that final part of the course similar to how Deku did, but you didn’t. you literally have only yourself to blame

oh wow, Ochako and Iida rounding out the top five! what a pleasant surprise

(ETA: yeah this misconception will be rectified shortly, so I’m leaving it)

Iida’s depressed because being fast is His Whole Thing and he still came in like fifth. honestly I feel like that does hurt him a little more than the rest, because if any heroes out there are on the lookout for a speedster, they’re probably going to be less taken with a guy that didn’t even manage to make the podium in the speed competition. but you still have the rest of the festival, Iida. and if all else fails, you’ll still have two more chances after this

Deku is literally hiding his face because Ochako came right up to him and started talking about how great he was

it was not close, Deku

now he’s saying he got lucky. that was part of it, sure, but dude you were a fucking beast out there. honestly it was scary

Momo made it in sixth! along with this piece of drifting garbage that seems to have gotten stuck to her somehow

I’m sorry you had to see this, everyone. Momo is brilliant, but I feel like she missed a golden opportunity to make another gun or something and solve our Mineta problem for good. they did say no rules, after all. any lawyer worth their salt should be able to work with that

oh wow, I thought Iida and Ochako were fourth and fifth, but apparently that Poison Ivy girl came in fourth! Ibara, huh? I like her a lot

and this Dia de Muertos guy came in fifth!!

MY GOD IIDA, SIXTH?? YOU HAD ONE FUCKING JOB

and Ochako is #16?? EVERYONE, WE’RE GONNA RIOT

class B seems to only have a few standouts, really. thank god tbh. it was hard enough trying to memorize the first twenty kids’ names

(ETA: for a brief moment it looked like this might not be true, but then it was true again lol)

can’t believe Kaminari’s all the way down at #24. what happened?

are there... two invisible kids here?

(ETA: this literally never came up again??!)

and Aoyama barely made it. the cutoff was at #42 for some reason. they could have easily set it at the much more normal number of 40, but they just liked you that much, Aoyama!

Midnight’s about to announce the second event, but she’s dragging it out so damn much and I can’t take it

“Cavalry Battle”! yay! what’s that

Tsuyu says they’re teaming up but imma need more deets

“participants will form, on their own, teams of two to four members each” okay I can already foresee a few problems here

-- and get into a horse and rider formation, oh my god

I LOVE IT

for a brief moment I was like “wow this is really tame compared to the first event.” but then I remembered that they all have powers and will presumably be trying to kill each other and I can see this getting really fucking violent actually

that said! I’m definitely here for it lol

damn she’s still going on. apparently each kid has been assigned a point value based on the results of the previous event. so that means Deku has the highest value I guess. well, he wanted to stand out

TEN MILLION POINTS wow. this seems a bit broken to me

Deku’s face is

pretty good

what kind of fucked up olympics punishes you for doing well though

ten million points, though. damn. and meanwhile that lucky s.o.b. Aoyama is only worth five

and wow, we’ve reached the end of volume three already! well that sure was fun

BONUS:

Mt. Lady again?

she’s ordering takoyaki

she’s trying to get it for free omg

it worked omg

that’s it. that’s the comic

wow

now there’s a second comic that seems almost identical to her first comic from an earlier volume. this accountant guy is complaining that she’s lost them so much money

she can apparently grow from her normal size up to about 67 and a half feet. and that’s it. nothing in between

aside from that slight bit of additional detail, this is literally the exact same comic strip from before. I want those twenty seconds of my life back damn it

[ketzwrites]

oh ketz, you participating on magnus month is amazing😍🤧 26, perhaps?

Of course, amor! Hope you enjoy this little piece. I might have gone a little overboard on the cheesy, though.

Available on AO3.

26. “I think I’ve been holding myself from falling in love with you all over again.”

For most people, falling in love is the single most scary thing a human being can do. Mostly because one does not control it: the heart wants what it wants. It is hard, almost impossible to willingly put yourself in such a vulnerable position. Falling in love requires courage, it demands trust. It is a miracle in itself.

Falling in love twice and with the same person? That is a transcending experience.

Magnus Bane has experienced love before. Pure, unwavering love from his mother, but also twisted and possessive love from his father. Magnus has received and given a great deal of love to his friends, a sort of love that is precious in its platonic form. And, of course, Magnus has experienced romantic love. He lived through some great love stories, the stuff movies are made of. From forbidden to all-consuming, from gentle to destructive. Magnus’s heart has raced, jumped, froze, and broke.

But it has never gone through all of it because of a single person. Not until Alec Lightwood came into his life, almost seven years ago.

They had met after a lecture Magnus administrated in the History Department of NYU. As Head of the Languages Department and famous translator, Magnus often attended discussions on ancient languages. It wasn’t supposed to be anything new.

Alec’s presence, though, elevated that afternoon to extraordinary. A grad student, Alec had stayed late after Magnus was done. He had a proposition to make and they decided to discuss it over coffee. It had been a while someone was so passionate about Magnus’ job and it helped that Alec wasn’t bad to look at. Magnus had no problems joining his project: a complete study of ancient religious texts on the Nephilim and their origins.

It was a group project, so it wasn’t just Magnus and Alec. There was Simon Lewis, the specialist in ancient Judaism. Alec’s own sister, Isabelle Lightwood, a forensic scientist who was there to explain the Nephilim’s biology. Finally, they also had Dr. Luke Garroway, from the Philosophy Department.

In reality, though, Magnus spent most of his time with Alec, who was in charge of studying the texts. They worked together for hours, reading and translating, making sense of original texts. Somewhere along the way, they also fell in love.

It was a gentle kind of love, one born out their shared curiosity and work ethic. Magnus admired Alec’s mind even more than he did his body. In return, he could see the reverence in the way Alec looked at him, how much Alec cared for his opinions and inputs. There was an innocence to their love that Magnus cherished beyond words.

But it was also a tumultuous love. Their fights could start out academic but were always about something else. Magnus was used to dating people from all kinds of different backgrounds: rich and poor, beautiful inside or out, men or women. They were all interesting, instigating people. Magnus could lose himself in their worlds, participate in their journeys. He could translate their experiences into his own, live hundreds of lives through someone else’s eyes.

Not so much with Alec. Magnus could be a part of Alec’s project, but Alec wanted to be a part of Magnus’ life. He wanted to get to know Magnus beyond the translator, beyond the makeup and fancy clothes, beyond the flippant attitude and the sharp mind. And that terrified Magnus to no end.

It was, in fact, so daunting that Magnus couldn’t take it anymore. Once the project was done, he broke things up with Alec. That was the worst night in Magnus’ entire life. Worse than when he realized what a monster his father was, worse than when he found out Camille had been cruelly stringing him along for years. That night, Magnus was the bad guy, the one breaking someone else’s heart. The one breaking both of their hearts.

That night, Magnus was making a mistake. One that would haunt him for seven years.

It wasn’t like Magnus never saw Alec again after that, though. He did, especially after Alec became a teacher at NYU himself. But they didn’t talk anymore, no more than a nod or a greeting in the corridor. It was an awkward thing, but something that they grew used to doing. Over the years, Magnus could even say they developed a quasi-friendship. He could still draw a snort from Alec in the faculty meetings, just as well as Alec could leave Magnus feeling proud with just a word or two.

But there was a shadow there, one that made all smiles die just as soon as they were born. A wall that Magnus had created around him, as if written in a language that nobody could understand. Magnus met other people after Alec, even fell in love once or twice. But every relationship was unlike before, they all lacked something. Something that Magnus couldn’t point out.

Not until he found himself in another joint project with Alec Lightwood. In this one, though, they were not going to directly work together. Magnus was paired up with another historian while Alec would be doing field work with some archeologists. They were not supposed to meet.

And yet, Magnus found himself seeing Alec more and more. It started with a simple consultation: Alec came into his office one day with a particularly intricate excerpt of an ancient book. Magnus had wondered why Alec had brought it to him and not any one of the other specialists from the Languages Department.

The honesty in Alec’s answer made Magnus’ heart race. “Because I trust you.”

After that, the awkwardness between them vanished. They saw each other regularly and Magnus couldn’t help but be excited every time. It was as if the seven years never existed.

No, it was more than that. It was as if the seven years had washed away all the problems they had. Suddenly, they were not just talking just about the project, but of themselves as well. Magnus was finally ready to answer Alec’s questions, to share parts of himself he had never revealed before. He didn’t know why or how, just that finally love felt like a language he knew again.

Still, there was something that felt off. When Alec asked Magnus out, officially and without reservations, Magnus’ heart jumped. For a second, he thought he wasn’t ready but then heard himself saying yes. That was when he stopped overthinking things, stopped to dread how everything would go wrong.  

That was when realization dawned upon Magnus. “Oh.”

Alec frowned. “What?”

“Just discovered something about myself,” Magnus said cheerfully. He then blinked, realizing his tone might not be the most appropriate. It was just so easy to talk to Alec now, he had stopped putting his guard up.

Well, not entirely true. But Alec didn’t seem to mind the strange tone. “And what is that?”

Magnus smiled. Honesty was Alec’s greatest strength. Magnus could make it his as well. “I think I’ve been holding myself from falling in love with you all over again.”

“Oh,” Alec blinked, clearly taken aback.

That was when Magnus’ heart froze. Had he screwed up? Was that not what Alec was expecting? Magnus couldn’t have been reading the signs wrongly, Alec had literally asked him out on a date. Still, if Magnus was wrong, had he just… Had he just admitted more than he should? Had he set him up for failure?

With surprise, Magnus realized that after the initial shock he didn’t quite care. What he said was the truth, about him and his feelings. He didn’t have to translate it, to transport a knowledge from one system to another. It was all there; intelligible, accessible. True.

“Does that mean that you are?” Alec asked carefully. “Falling in love with me all over again?”

A courage that Magnus didn’t know he possessed took over him and he nodded. “I am.”

Alec smiled, happiness coloring his face. “Good,” he said and took Magnus’ hand in his. “Because so am I.”

Love might be the single most scary emotion a human being can experience. It requires a lot, it risks too much. And, when one finds love, holding on to it can be difficult, sometimes even impossible.

But impossible just means one has to try again. One has to grow better, braver, surer. Love can only start from within, from loving oneself. When that happens, love takes but it also gives. Magnus’ heart had raced, jumped, and froze. But never again had it broke.